I get stabbing back pains, my head hurts so bad
WELCOME TO THE_PACK
2016.04.13 22:39 no_turn_unstoned WELCOME TO THE_PACK
THIS IS THE PACK WE'RE FUCKEN BAD ASS AND WE MAKE BOMBASS MEMES!!!!! CUM CRANK YOU'RE HOG IN ARE DISCORD MFER https://discord.gg/3WqqfRM !!!!!!!!!
2014.12.17 08:35 BlackStallion54 justfuckmyshitup
This subreddit is dedicated to jacked up haircuts from all walks of life.
2012.01.13 04:52 Glitch in the Matrix
"Eye-witness event(s) that cannot be explained with critical thinking." **Please read forum rules before posting**
2024.05.20 09:14 Combination-Worried No Contact with Nparents and they didn't notice
So I went NC last year when my first child was born. I had hyperemesis gravidarium , was hospitalized multiple times and got clinically depressed. Naive me I asked my Mom to help me inpostpartum because I had forceps birth and I couldn't walk.
She made it all about her, of course she couldn't do shit for me. "you don't get it how busy I am at work...I have other grandchildren too to take care of... It was your decision to move out of state..."
so I asked my aunt instead. My aunt literally healed me, got me back to life. But my mom couldn't stand that and gossiped her so badly in family for "leaving her family behind".
Even worse the husband of my aunt got diagnosed with cancer while she was staying with me. She left immediately and he died very soon after. My mom started to blame her publicly for "leaving her husband behind to help my ungrateful daughter". I told her she was sick and that she has to apologize to her or I'll never talk to her She laughed it off and so I stopped talking to her and apologized to my aunt on her behalf.
Now it's 1 year since and my mother seems oblivious to the fact that I don't talk to her. My husband had a call with my father, I could listen as I was in the same room AND she was actinng as if nothing was wrong. She eve asked how I am doing etc. apparently they are getting ready for us to visit in summer (as we used to in the past but isn't happening this year).
I asked my siblings about this (I have 4) and none have noticed any change in my mother. My sister even told me, I had no idea you two don't talk.
(We don't just "don't talk". Even before my cut, my parents never asked my husband for any pictures of us or our newborn baby. They never bothered to call us (outside of needing something) or wish us happy Bday....ofc they don't give a dam about my daughter, unlike their other grandchildren, she never got anything from them).
Apparently, when I stopped talking to my mom, she went completely unbothtered by it.
Isn't this strange? It was a big deal for me to cut all contact with her. So I am flabbergasted by her attitude.
submitted by Combination-Worried to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
She made it all about her, of course she couldn't do shit for me. "you don't get it how busy I am at work...I have other grandchildren too to take care of... It was your decision to move out of state..."
so I asked my aunt instead. My aunt literally healed me, got me back to life. But my mom couldn't stand that and gossiped her so badly in family for "leaving her family behind".
Even worse the husband of my aunt got diagnosed with cancer while she was staying with me. She left immediately and he died very soon after. My mom started to blame her publicly for "leaving her husband behind to help my ungrateful daughter". I told her she was sick and that she has to apologize to her or I'll never talk to her She laughed it off and so I stopped talking to her and apologized to my aunt on her behalf.
Now it's 1 year since and my mother seems oblivious to the fact that I don't talk to her. My husband had a call with my father, I could listen as I was in the same room AND she was actinng as if nothing was wrong. She eve asked how I am doing etc. apparently they are getting ready for us to visit in summer (as we used to in the past but isn't happening this year).
I asked my siblings about this (I have 4) and none have noticed any change in my mother. My sister even told me, I had no idea you two don't talk.
(We don't just "don't talk". Even before my cut, my parents never asked my husband for any pictures of us or our newborn baby. They never bothered to call us (outside of needing something) or wish us happy Bday....ofc they don't give a dam about my daughter, unlike their other grandchildren, she never got anything from them).
Apparently, when I stopped talking to my mom, she went completely unbothtered by it.
Isn't this strange? It was a big deal for me to cut all contact with her. So I am flabbergasted by her attitude.
2024.05.20 09:14 Thausgt01 Cyber Core, Book Two, Chapter 09: Introductions, Salads, And Family Rivalries
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I started by dimming the north-facing windows, slowly enough to merely catch Kregorim's attention; he responded by turning his head to face them and letting his bushy eyebrows rise a bit, but generally keeping a neutral stance. Then, I animated a glowing white dot appearing on the duskward wall at roughly chest-height to my new visitor, then extending it vertically into a line, then expanding it laterally into a door. Then, I let my avatar open it 'from his side', walk through, and close it again.
“I'm called Joachim,” I said, animating the avatar's mouth to match my movements, along with rubbing the back of his head with his left hand. “And I have to say that that spell of yours was... an interesting experience.”
Kregorim nodded and offered a stiff bow. “Then we would seem to have been equal partners in the exchange,” he answered, the barest trace of a twinkle in what I could pick up of his eyes; if he had anything like a smirk under that thicket of facial hair, I couldn't detect it. “So, are there any other introductions to be made? Exchanges of oaths or demands for sacrifices, things of that nature?”
I chuckled, and pointed at the fabricators behind him. “Introductions, certainly. No sacrifices of baubles or blood, if that was what you expected. But I'd advise you to get some practice in making your own furniture. It'll take a bit of explaining, even if I try to trim it down.”
Kregorim nodded, and this time I could definitely hear a chuckle in his voice. “I would be highly disappointed were that not the case, Joachim of the mysterious outpost,” he answered. He gestured at the fabricators. “Would you mind offering a weary old scholar some assistance with these marvelous machines?”
I animated the avatar nodding, then waving at the walls. “You may have noticed that the chambers in which your...” the avatar coughed into one hand, then continued, “... Lord Zortemos Egenor Lignignory the Fourth has been settling have those empty frames on the walls of each room?” The avatar pointed off to one side, and a simplified version of the baseline model of the communication-screens appeared a handsbreadth away from his finger. “I can see and hear through them, and they have other functions as well, but this unit specifically includes the fullest expression of the tool.”
With that, I 'jumped' the avatar onto the dawnward wall of the utility room, releasing another light coughing sound to let Kregorim know where 'he' had gone. “This way, at least, I won't need to raise my voice so it carries further...”
Kregorim turned out to be a very quick study. I walked him through designing some new clothes, starting from the base model of a Chinese scholastic robe but incorporating a three layers of lighter fabric in something more akin to a Japanese kimono. Yes, I helped him figure out some more practical forms of undergarments, and the very concept of 'elastic' fascinated him; I left a mental note to explore 'latex' and the organic sources thereof with him at some later point. And, of course, getting to the first pair of suitable 'house slippers' presented no challenge at all.
Still, I satisfied his curiosity about the need for five 'magic trunks' in rather short order, and once he got into his own set of 'wondrous finery' he tossed his 'traveling robes and unmentionables' into the 'laundry' trunk. Once he'd gotten the remaining machines programmed for things like a camp-cot and bedding, a chair and writing desk and a samovar of all things, I sort of walked him through the rest of the unit's features.
“Quite an array of tankards,” he commented, in the kitchen. “Stocked well enough to entertain guests of a stature from Orks all the way down to Gnomes, unless I'm very much mistaken.”
I animated the avatar nodding. “I'll need to explain more about that, but you and the rest of the group aren't my first guests.”
He nodded, and turned to face the avatar; his smile was wide enough to re-arrange the forest of his facial hair. “I'll try to keep from disappointing Lord Zee overmuch on the point,” he said, then turned to face the refrigerator. “Another magic trunk?” he asked, examining it without touching it. “Wider than the others... does this one produce foodstuffs?”
“Not produce them, as such, but it does serve as a 'cold well', of sorts. The upper section keeps things moderately cool, the lower section keeps them frozen.”
That got another look of wonder out of him. “You can maintain ice in there, without magic?” he asked, pulling out the freezer-drawer and confirming it for himself. “What manner of foods are these?” he went on, examining the squared, shrink-wrapped blocks and rounded tubs.
“Soups, meats, and vegetables, for the most part. The rounded tubs are sort of an experiment for a dessert.”
“I don't suppose you could allow a hungry traveler something a bit more substantial?”
“You skipped past the cold box,” I pointed out. “I've been experimenting with various kinds of meats as well as vegetable dishes...”
“Soups of some sort...?” he asked, closing the freezer-drawer and opening the refrigerator. He paused, visibly confused, before extracting one of the wrapped and sealed 'meal bowls', turning it to examine it from three different angles, then replacing it to examine another, and then another. Finally, he selected one and turned to face the avatar. “The lid has markings resembling words, but I cannot say with confidence that I comprehend them precisely,” he said. “What is meant by... 'Pasta Salad Experiment Number 8'... if you don't mind?”
The avatar pointed. “The silverware you'll probably want is in the second drawer from the end,” I said. “As far as your question is concerned, I have... several different kinds of farms in the spaces below the living quarters up here on the surface, and a rather large library of information from my home that permits me to make approximations of a small but growing number of food.” I added a slight blush to the avatar's cheeks. “I have no capacity to taste or smell things, at least as you or the others might, so I have no idea whether you'll find it appetizing. All I can tell you is that I have a limited stock of various spices in the cabinet just to the right of this box, which is known as a 'refrigerator' in my language. If you feel the need to repay me for my hospitality, you're welcome to help me learn the names for the spices while we talk.”
Kregorim devoured the first salad, admitting between bites that the Lignignory family's exit from the Ducal lands to the south had been somewhat hurried and therefore their dining-experiences had been something of a gamble. “We've managed to trade for many things as we head north,” he commented. He had figured out how to get clean drinking water from the kitchen sink into an Ork-scaled flagon without much prompting, and after swallowing five mouthfuls proceeded to turn his attention to the salad. I explained the basic ingredients and principles of 'pasta', as he considered a segment of neo-rotini on his fork. He ate it, a thoughtful expression on his face, eventually dubbing it 'surprisingly flavorful'.
From there, I walked him through an explanation of the 'dish washer' and 'stove' before guiding him through a simple tour of the rest of the house. The bathroom intrigued him, but he expressed even greater fascination with the barbecue on the back patio, especially the 'fuel pellets' I provided in sealed bags from one of the lower shelves.
“Why bother with such means, when these other amazing machines can cook food with greater precision?” he asked.
“My function, the reason I exist, is to help people recover from disasters,” I answered, when he came back inside from admiring the stonework of the patio handrails. “If they happen to be more comfortable cooking their own food over a fire, I want to help them do so. Hence, the cookfire station out there. It's called a 'barbecue grill' in my language, by the way.”
“...'Your language'...” he repeated, returning to the main room and settling down into his chair with a flagon of water in his right hand. “You've also mentioned 'your home' at least once in my hearing. May I ask where you come from?”
Hoo, boy. Tough questions...
“I'm from a lot further away than you might think, to begin with,” I explained. The avatar pointed south with his right hand, in the general direction of one of the four moons glowing in the sky. “For one thing, I'm from a place with only one moon.” The avatar tapped 'his side' of the wall with the other, and an equatorial-perspective image of Earth showing North and South America along with a portion of Antarctica down at the bottom. “This is a special kind of illusion, showing details of my home from far above its surface,” I explained.
Kregorim's eyes widened and he took a long pull from his flagon. “Seas, forests, deserts, mountains, wintry wastelands,” he murmured, attention moving from one detail to the next, until finally he straightened up in his chair. “... None of the lands with which I have knowledge appear here,” he stated. “And I suspect that this globe's other face will reveal similar mysteries.”
I animated the avatar shrugging. “Likely.”
I considered my next words very carefully. “Since I arrived here, 24 days ago, I have watched the heavens as best I can. From what I have discerned, the local star... or your sun... is measurably different than mine. I haven't been able to pick out any local planets yet, but I can say for certain that if any of the stars in your sky are the ones my people had cataloged, they're too far away for me to positively identify as such.”
Kregorim took that in, eyebrows twitching, and drained his flagon dry. He took it away from his mouth with a scowl, directed at the offending drinkware, but reduced its intensity before turning back to address the avatar. “I don't suppose you've managed to produce anything like a good strong ale since you've arrived?” he asked. “Our own supplies of such things are unlikely to be fit for drinking.”
I animated the avatar raising an eyebrow and waggling a finger. “I've none available, alas, though I do have some rather promising teas,” I told him. “You'll need to fabricate a teapot, though.”
He got up and proceeded to do so. As he did, I continued, “As far as your assessment of whatever ale you've managed to carry with you, I would ask you to ask the servants to pour whatever portion of it they wish to discard into the nearest convenient sink. Hopefully, you'll be able to get the word to them before they reach that stage of unloading.”
The avatar flicked the image of Earth away, then tapped 'his side' of the wall four more times. With each one, a new visual-window opened: one displaying the view just outside the foyer, another the main stairwell from the camera on the half-step just above the second-floor landing, the third the first-floor walkway (identifiable as such by the view of Lord Zee bustling in and out of the doorway to 'his' quarters, giving directions to the flow of 'servants') and the final one the view of the ground-floor walkway.
Up among the caravan, Thusarrel acted as a kind of traffic-director, guiding groups of servants with gestures and shouts to one wagon after another, in an order that made no particular sense to me. The 'flackaroos' stayed in the center, managed by three ragged-looking folk who seemed to know what they were doing; they also hurried to rake up any droppings as quickly as possible, out of the foot-traffic of the flow of servants carrying as mismatched a collection of luggage, furniture, decor and miscellany as ever came out of an estate sale. Kregorim's wagon remained mostly ignored, though the stair-steps remained down.
On the main staircase, Adallinda and Pippa made their way downward, the 'lady' scowling at the lines of servants passing her in both directions and flowing around her too-wide dress as smoothly as possible. Pippa guided her charge to frequent rest stops on the half-landings, sparing a moment here and there to nod back at the silent looks of gratitude from the luggage-bearing people.
“You're certain that my greedy brothers have both gone for the chambers adjacent to my father's, Pippa?” Adallida demanded.
Her servant nodded once, then offered her hand to help steer the young lady back into the flow of foot-traffic. “Of course, my lady, “ she answered. “They both wish for the honor of being physically closest to your father's chosen quarters, though your cousin and sister
On the first-floor view, from the camera opposite the service staircase and now pointing toward the lobby, I just caught a glimpse of Bhiocasaid shepherding Zoti into the second 'double unit' on the first floor, Yera and Totra actually holding the somnambulent Zoti while Bhiocasaid held off Nehdud and Haruinn as they protested the two ladies staking their claim ahead of the 'more worthy young lords' of the family.
“We're not sharing quarters with you beasts, and that's simply that!” she shouted at them. “If you want your own choice of suitable quarters, you'd better get down to the ground-floor and claim one before Adallinda does!”
The boys blinked at her, then looked at each other. Nehdud spun on his heel and raced back to the cliff-face lounge area, shoving his way through the flow of servants. I winced as I watched him making half-hearted goo-goo eyes and kissy-faces at whichever of them had obviously female shapes under their travel-rags. The female servants burdened with effects, even boxes the size of filled shopping bags that couldn't possibly require two people to hold, found themselves getting extra help to disguise both women's use of the item in question as a makeshift shield against his efforts. However slowly he was moving, though, he still made faster progress than Haruinn could possibly manage.
Adallinda's voice rang out from below, shrieking in triumph. Through the final view-window, Kregorim and I observed as she managed to slap her hand on the not-glass biometric scanner next to the door to the lower double-unit, Pippa now holding the sweating lady up and maneuvering her through the door, a line of six servants carrying baggage behind them.
Nehdud pushed through the line of servants to stand in front of the handrail, slamming his fist on the stone with one hand and snarling. Then he turned to look at Haruinn, noting his near-complete lack of movement, and his rage turned to a grin. He waved at his rival for the remaining double-suite, then resumed his efforts to force his way through the flows of servants.
Haruinn clenched his fists, until Midmolk pointed at the 'service stairway' just next to the now-claimed double-unit. “Their position matches something similar on the door below, master,” he pointed out.
Haruinn nodded, clanking his way to them at best possible speed, Midmolk following with the tower-shield. The Lignignory male slapped his hand on the palm-scanner; I granted him temporary access, mostly because I wanted to see if he could possibly beat that smarmy Nehdud if he had a clearer path. The young man succeeded in surprising me by gesturing at Midmolk, who handed him the tower-shield. He proceeded to ride it down the two half-flights of stairs like a sled, scraping the heck out of the finish and arriving at the ground-floor before Nehdud made it all the way through the lobby.
Haruinn pushed himself to his apparent limit, huffing and red-faced, as he quick-marched with all of that extra metal on his front to reach the palm-scanner and slap his hand on it.
Just as Nehdud threw open the door from the ground-floor lobby to see him do it.
The knife-burdened man strode into his doorway while Nehdud sank to his knees with a frustrated scream.
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submitted by Thausgt01 to HFY [link] [comments]
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Mission Log: Day 0024
Addendum 04
Well. The jig would seem to be up, as the old folks used to say. I started by dimming the north-facing windows, slowly enough to merely catch Kregorim's attention; he responded by turning his head to face them and letting his bushy eyebrows rise a bit, but generally keeping a neutral stance. Then, I animated a glowing white dot appearing on the duskward wall at roughly chest-height to my new visitor, then extending it vertically into a line, then expanding it laterally into a door. Then, I let my avatar open it 'from his side', walk through, and close it again.
“I'm called Joachim,” I said, animating the avatar's mouth to match my movements, along with rubbing the back of his head with his left hand. “And I have to say that that spell of yours was... an interesting experience.”
Kregorim nodded and offered a stiff bow. “Then we would seem to have been equal partners in the exchange,” he answered, the barest trace of a twinkle in what I could pick up of his eyes; if he had anything like a smirk under that thicket of facial hair, I couldn't detect it. “So, are there any other introductions to be made? Exchanges of oaths or demands for sacrifices, things of that nature?”
I chuckled, and pointed at the fabricators behind him. “Introductions, certainly. No sacrifices of baubles or blood, if that was what you expected. But I'd advise you to get some practice in making your own furniture. It'll take a bit of explaining, even if I try to trim it down.”
Kregorim nodded, and this time I could definitely hear a chuckle in his voice. “I would be highly disappointed were that not the case, Joachim of the mysterious outpost,” he answered. He gestured at the fabricators. “Would you mind offering a weary old scholar some assistance with these marvelous machines?”
I animated the avatar nodding, then waving at the walls. “You may have noticed that the chambers in which your...” the avatar coughed into one hand, then continued, “... Lord Zortemos Egenor Lignignory the Fourth has been settling have those empty frames on the walls of each room?” The avatar pointed off to one side, and a simplified version of the baseline model of the communication-screens appeared a handsbreadth away from his finger. “I can see and hear through them, and they have other functions as well, but this unit specifically includes the fullest expression of the tool.”
With that, I 'jumped' the avatar onto the dawnward wall of the utility room, releasing another light coughing sound to let Kregorim know where 'he' had gone. “This way, at least, I won't need to raise my voice so it carries further...”
Addendum 05:
Kregorim turned out to be a very quick study. I walked him through designing some new clothes, starting from the base model of a Chinese scholastic robe but incorporating a three layers of lighter fabric in something more akin to a Japanese kimono. Yes, I helped him figure out some more practical forms of undergarments, and the very concept of 'elastic' fascinated him; I left a mental note to explore 'latex' and the organic sources thereof with him at some later point. And, of course, getting to the first pair of suitable 'house slippers' presented no challenge at all.
Still, I satisfied his curiosity about the need for five 'magic trunks' in rather short order, and once he got into his own set of 'wondrous finery' he tossed his 'traveling robes and unmentionables' into the 'laundry' trunk. Once he'd gotten the remaining machines programmed for things like a camp-cot and bedding, a chair and writing desk and a samovar of all things, I sort of walked him through the rest of the unit's features.
“Quite an array of tankards,” he commented, in the kitchen. “Stocked well enough to entertain guests of a stature from Orks all the way down to Gnomes, unless I'm very much mistaken.”
I animated the avatar nodding. “I'll need to explain more about that, but you and the rest of the group aren't my first guests.”
He nodded, and turned to face the avatar; his smile was wide enough to re-arrange the forest of his facial hair. “I'll try to keep from disappointing Lord Zee overmuch on the point,” he said, then turned to face the refrigerator. “Another magic trunk?” he asked, examining it without touching it. “Wider than the others... does this one produce foodstuffs?”
“Not produce them, as such, but it does serve as a 'cold well', of sorts. The upper section keeps things moderately cool, the lower section keeps them frozen.”
That got another look of wonder out of him. “You can maintain ice in there, without magic?” he asked, pulling out the freezer-drawer and confirming it for himself. “What manner of foods are these?” he went on, examining the squared, shrink-wrapped blocks and rounded tubs.
“Soups, meats, and vegetables, for the most part. The rounded tubs are sort of an experiment for a dessert.”
“I don't suppose you could allow a hungry traveler something a bit more substantial?”
“You skipped past the cold box,” I pointed out. “I've been experimenting with various kinds of meats as well as vegetable dishes...”
“Soups of some sort...?” he asked, closing the freezer-drawer and opening the refrigerator. He paused, visibly confused, before extracting one of the wrapped and sealed 'meal bowls', turning it to examine it from three different angles, then replacing it to examine another, and then another. Finally, he selected one and turned to face the avatar. “The lid has markings resembling words, but I cannot say with confidence that I comprehend them precisely,” he said. “What is meant by... 'Pasta Salad Experiment Number 8'... if you don't mind?”
The avatar pointed. “The silverware you'll probably want is in the second drawer from the end,” I said. “As far as your question is concerned, I have... several different kinds of farms in the spaces below the living quarters up here on the surface, and a rather large library of information from my home that permits me to make approximations of a small but growing number of food.” I added a slight blush to the avatar's cheeks. “I have no capacity to taste or smell things, at least as you or the others might, so I have no idea whether you'll find it appetizing. All I can tell you is that I have a limited stock of various spices in the cabinet just to the right of this box, which is known as a 'refrigerator' in my language. If you feel the need to repay me for my hospitality, you're welcome to help me learn the names for the spices while we talk.”
Addendum 06
Kregorim devoured the first salad, admitting between bites that the Lignignory family's exit from the Ducal lands to the south had been somewhat hurried and therefore their dining-experiences had been something of a gamble. “We've managed to trade for many things as we head north,” he commented. He had figured out how to get clean drinking water from the kitchen sink into an Ork-scaled flagon without much prompting, and after swallowing five mouthfuls proceeded to turn his attention to the salad. I explained the basic ingredients and principles of 'pasta', as he considered a segment of neo-rotini on his fork. He ate it, a thoughtful expression on his face, eventually dubbing it 'surprisingly flavorful'.
From there, I walked him through an explanation of the 'dish washer' and 'stove' before guiding him through a simple tour of the rest of the house. The bathroom intrigued him, but he expressed even greater fascination with the barbecue on the back patio, especially the 'fuel pellets' I provided in sealed bags from one of the lower shelves.
“Why bother with such means, when these other amazing machines can cook food with greater precision?” he asked.
“My function, the reason I exist, is to help people recover from disasters,” I answered, when he came back inside from admiring the stonework of the patio handrails. “If they happen to be more comfortable cooking their own food over a fire, I want to help them do so. Hence, the cookfire station out there. It's called a 'barbecue grill' in my language, by the way.”
“...'Your language'...” he repeated, returning to the main room and settling down into his chair with a flagon of water in his right hand. “You've also mentioned 'your home' at least once in my hearing. May I ask where you come from?”
Hoo, boy. Tough questions...
“I'm from a lot further away than you might think, to begin with,” I explained. The avatar pointed south with his right hand, in the general direction of one of the four moons glowing in the sky. “For one thing, I'm from a place with only one moon.” The avatar tapped 'his side' of the wall with the other, and an equatorial-perspective image of Earth showing North and South America along with a portion of Antarctica down at the bottom. “This is a special kind of illusion, showing details of my home from far above its surface,” I explained.
Kregorim's eyes widened and he took a long pull from his flagon. “Seas, forests, deserts, mountains, wintry wastelands,” he murmured, attention moving from one detail to the next, until finally he straightened up in his chair. “... None of the lands with which I have knowledge appear here,” he stated. “And I suspect that this globe's other face will reveal similar mysteries.”
I animated the avatar shrugging. “Likely.”
I considered my next words very carefully. “Since I arrived here, 24 days ago, I have watched the heavens as best I can. From what I have discerned, the local star... or your sun... is measurably different than mine. I haven't been able to pick out any local planets yet, but I can say for certain that if any of the stars in your sky are the ones my people had cataloged, they're too far away for me to positively identify as such.”
Kregorim took that in, eyebrows twitching, and drained his flagon dry. He took it away from his mouth with a scowl, directed at the offending drinkware, but reduced its intensity before turning back to address the avatar. “I don't suppose you've managed to produce anything like a good strong ale since you've arrived?” he asked. “Our own supplies of such things are unlikely to be fit for drinking.”
I animated the avatar raising an eyebrow and waggling a finger. “I've none available, alas, though I do have some rather promising teas,” I told him. “You'll need to fabricate a teapot, though.”
He got up and proceeded to do so. As he did, I continued, “As far as your assessment of whatever ale you've managed to carry with you, I would ask you to ask the servants to pour whatever portion of it they wish to discard into the nearest convenient sink. Hopefully, you'll be able to get the word to them before they reach that stage of unloading.”
The avatar flicked the image of Earth away, then tapped 'his side' of the wall four more times. With each one, a new visual-window opened: one displaying the view just outside the foyer, another the main stairwell from the camera on the half-step just above the second-floor landing, the third the first-floor walkway (identifiable as such by the view of Lord Zee bustling in and out of the doorway to 'his' quarters, giving directions to the flow of 'servants') and the final one the view of the ground-floor walkway.
Up among the caravan, Thusarrel acted as a kind of traffic-director, guiding groups of servants with gestures and shouts to one wagon after another, in an order that made no particular sense to me. The 'flackaroos' stayed in the center, managed by three ragged-looking folk who seemed to know what they were doing; they also hurried to rake up any droppings as quickly as possible, out of the foot-traffic of the flow of servants carrying as mismatched a collection of luggage, furniture, decor and miscellany as ever came out of an estate sale. Kregorim's wagon remained mostly ignored, though the stair-steps remained down.
On the main staircase, Adallinda and Pippa made their way downward, the 'lady' scowling at the lines of servants passing her in both directions and flowing around her too-wide dress as smoothly as possible. Pippa guided her charge to frequent rest stops on the half-landings, sparing a moment here and there to nod back at the silent looks of gratitude from the luggage-bearing people.
“You're certain that my greedy brothers have both gone for the chambers adjacent to my father's, Pippa?” Adallida demanded.
Her servant nodded once, then offered her hand to help steer the young lady back into the flow of foot-traffic. “Of course, my lady, “ she answered. “They both wish for the honor of being physically closest to your father's chosen quarters, though your cousin and sister
On the first-floor view, from the camera opposite the service staircase and now pointing toward the lobby, I just caught a glimpse of Bhiocasaid shepherding Zoti into the second 'double unit' on the first floor, Yera and Totra actually holding the somnambulent Zoti while Bhiocasaid held off Nehdud and Haruinn as they protested the two ladies staking their claim ahead of the 'more worthy young lords' of the family.
“We're not sharing quarters with you beasts, and that's simply that!” she shouted at them. “If you want your own choice of suitable quarters, you'd better get down to the ground-floor and claim one before Adallinda does!”
The boys blinked at her, then looked at each other. Nehdud spun on his heel and raced back to the cliff-face lounge area, shoving his way through the flow of servants. I winced as I watched him making half-hearted goo-goo eyes and kissy-faces at whichever of them had obviously female shapes under their travel-rags. The female servants burdened with effects, even boxes the size of filled shopping bags that couldn't possibly require two people to hold, found themselves getting extra help to disguise both women's use of the item in question as a makeshift shield against his efforts. However slowly he was moving, though, he still made faster progress than Haruinn could possibly manage.
Adallinda's voice rang out from below, shrieking in triumph. Through the final view-window, Kregorim and I observed as she managed to slap her hand on the not-glass biometric scanner next to the door to the lower double-unit, Pippa now holding the sweating lady up and maneuvering her through the door, a line of six servants carrying baggage behind them.
Nehdud pushed through the line of servants to stand in front of the handrail, slamming his fist on the stone with one hand and snarling. Then he turned to look at Haruinn, noting his near-complete lack of movement, and his rage turned to a grin. He waved at his rival for the remaining double-suite, then resumed his efforts to force his way through the flows of servants.
Haruinn clenched his fists, until Midmolk pointed at the 'service stairway' just next to the now-claimed double-unit. “Their position matches something similar on the door below, master,” he pointed out.
Haruinn nodded, clanking his way to them at best possible speed, Midmolk following with the tower-shield. The Lignignory male slapped his hand on the palm-scanner; I granted him temporary access, mostly because I wanted to see if he could possibly beat that smarmy Nehdud if he had a clearer path. The young man succeeded in surprising me by gesturing at Midmolk, who handed him the tower-shield. He proceeded to ride it down the two half-flights of stairs like a sled, scraping the heck out of the finish and arriving at the ground-floor before Nehdud made it all the way through the lobby.
Haruinn pushed himself to his apparent limit, huffing and red-faced, as he quick-marched with all of that extra metal on his front to reach the palm-scanner and slap his hand on it.
Just as Nehdud threw open the door from the ground-floor lobby to see him do it.
The knife-burdened man strode into his doorway while Nehdud sank to his knees with a frustrated scream.
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2024.05.20 09:14 modzer0 Ever take a dogman to the vet?
I should not be writing this. I know they will be looking for me as soon as this goes live. I had to get the word out despite all the secrecy surrounding the project. I don't know what they'll do to me when they find me, but this has to get out.
I was unemployed looking for work when I came across a job listing offering a strangely large amount of money. What did I have to loose? I called the number and they gave me a website to go to that took me through an application process and a security clearance form that I had to fill out the last seven years of my life. They said it would be months until the clearance would come through but to my surprise a month later I got a phone call telling me I had been granted Interm Secret clearance and the job would proceed.
I had to go to a building without any name on it downtown and they took my photo for an ID card and a packet of information about where I was to go to the next day.
The next morning I drove to the address with a mix of excitement and apprehension. What about this job required a security clearance? Why had I gotten my interm secret so quickly? I figured I'd soon find out when I pulled up to a gate with a card reader. I swiped my ID and the razor wire topped gate slid open so I could pass. Yeah nothing ominous about that. I drove a mile or so down the road and parked in the parking lot in front of a building that looked like the set of a prison movie. The windows were narrow slits and I could tell from a distance that the door was very heavy duty. Thinking back a few minutes ago wasn't the top of that razor wire fence angled in as if to keep something in rather than people out?
I got out and approached the heavy door. I spotted the card reader and used my ID on it and it flashed green and there was a loud clunking sound from the door as it unlocked. I had to put some muscle behind it to get it to open and then it shut behind me followed by another loud clunk as the locks reengaged.
I turned to see a thick armored window with a guard staring me down.
"First day huh?" he asked me as he looked at his screen.
"Yeah," I said a bit nervously.
"Sit tight, your department head will be coming to pick you up and take you to your in-brief," he said.
"What uh, what is this place?" I asked.
"All that will be answered by the briefing so have a seat and relax. You're likely in the safest spot in the facility," he said.
I looked at the inner door and noticed it was just as thick and heavy as the outer one. I was essentially sitting in an armored booth so he was technically right about it being safe.
When my boss arrived he was wearing scrubs and had his ID card clipped to the bottom of the V of the top.
"So, you're my new tech?" he asked.
"Yes, Sir," I replied.
"Good, hopefully you follow instructions better than the last one," he said. "I'm Dr. Tanner. You can call me 'Sir' or 'Doctor'."
"Sir, can you tell me what I'll be doing here?" I asked.
"All in due time. First you need to complete the safety briefing. It is not a joke. Take a look at the windows and doors if you need convincing. The government doesn't spend this kind of money unless it's very necessary, and it is. You'll understand the need for it when I introduce you to our charges. I'm not going to tell you yet because I enjoy the look on people's faces when they get their first peak of what we're doing here," he said. "Now, for the safety briefing. Follow me."
He began to open the inner door when he stopped and looked back at me. "Do you have any electronic devices on you?"
"No Sir, the security documents instructed me to leave my phone and anything with a digital memory in the car," I said.
"Excellent, you're already demonstrating that you can follow directions," he said. Was that a hint of a smile I saw?
He lead me down the hallway to a room on the left and used his card to unlock and open the door. After I walked inside what appeared to be a conference room he followed me inside and let the door shut.
I immediately noticed the back of the door wasn't the usual thing one would expect to see. It had a big lever in the middle that looked like it operated bolts to secure the door shut. I started to wonder what the hell I had gotten myself into. I expected to be working with maybe the facility's guard dogs. This kind of security was on a level I hadn't experienced before.
"Good, you're observant, another plus," the doctor said.
He walked over to the table and picked up a recorder and pressed play. A trilling alarm sound came for it and he let it play for a few seconds before cutting it off.
"If you hear that sound along with flashing red lights you are to go to the nearest safe room, such as this one and use this lever to bolt the door," He walked over and pressed a button by the windows and the thick glass became opaque.
"And you are to opaque the windows with the control in the room so nothing can see in," he said and then pointed to a door on the other wall that had 'Emergency Supplies' written on it. "There you will find food, water, and other necessities if you happen to be locked down for an extended period of time. There is also a radio already set to the control room frequency. If the phone is not working pull the tab on the back of the radio so the battery makes contact and reports in with the information posted on the back of the door. That's basically who you are, where you are, and if there are any threats you know of near you. Otherwise sit tight unless told otherwise."
"Threats?" I asked.
"Our charges are out of containment or an external threat," the doctor replied.
"What's so dangerous that we need bunker rooms like this?" I asked.
"All in due time," he replied. "Have you ever used a tranquilizer gun?"
"No," I responded.
"No matter, you'd need to qualify on the two types we use anyway with the security team," he said.
"Why do we need tranquilizer guns?" I asked.
"The animals we work with are dangerous. They're sedated before they get to us and one of our tasks is to make sure they stay sedated until they're returned to the enclosure. If one wakes up and slips a restraint you are not going to want to go near it to give an injection. That's why we have tranq guns," The doctor said.
"That makes perfect sense to me," I said. My curiosity was burning wondering what we were working with. Had to be something like large predators to require this much security. A grizzly would be a plausible reason why the doors had the extra bars. The force they could produce could snap the usual latches.
"Good because it's time for my favorite part. Showing the new guy what we work with," the doctor said and led the way deeper into the facility and up a set of stars to a room labeled 'observation deck'.
"The windows are to remain frosted by the electronic controls there whenever the room is not in use. They cannot see in but they seem to know someone is watching them and it upsets them. It's best for everyone if they are not upset," He reached over and pressed the button and the electronic frosting cleared.
That's the moment where my brain completely derailed and I questioned my own sanity.
"W-Werewolves?" I asked.
"No, at least not at this facility. These are a lesser known cryptid called Dogmen, kind of like Bigfoot."
"Wait, is Bigfoot real?" I asked.
"Yes, but not nearly as widespread as 'sightings' would make you think," he said.
"If these exist, what else is real?" I asked him.
"That's beyond your need to know," he said sternly, but then his face softened. "I'll lend you a book later that contains everything we've confirmed and studied. After all, if you continue with this job you will have the opportunity to work with them in the future, and it's best you know what you're getting into," he said. "One benefit they probably haven't gotten around to telling you yet is that they will pay for your education. You can become a full veterinarian working with the most interesting creatures that exist," he said. "Not a bad gig, huh?"
"Except for the part where I'm working with large dangerous creatures," I said.
"Large, intelligent, dangerous creatures," he replied. "And that is why we have procedures and rules. Things like always having more sedative staged to inject if a patient starts to wake up, having them restrained at all times, and if they do wake up you have the tranq guns to put them back under without risking yourself," he said and tapped the control to frost over the glass again.
Our next stop was back in the conference room where there were now a couple of binders.
"Now for the boring part. Study these because you'll have to pass a test on them later. It's those procedures I mentioned. It covers everything from handling the animals, dosages we use, and why we can't leave after dark."
"Wait, we can't leave after dark?" I asked, a bit alarmed.
"There are dogmen in the woods surrounding this facility. The fence does a decent job of keeping them out but they do get in and they're not happy we have some of their kind captive. They're fairly shy during the day and become active at night so it's for your own safety that once the sun sets you stay here. We have secure rooms just for the occasion, and scrubs are not short in supply if you need a change of clothing. We have a mess hall staffed 24/7 by some excellent cooks. People who can do this job are rare so they take care of us. Now get to reading, you'll have to pass a test before you're allowed to work. I'll come pick you up for lunch."
I did as he said and spent the next few hours reading with a break for the promised lunch that was beef stroganoff and actually really good. I went for seconds. Then it was back to memorizing policy and procedures till I was finally done and managed a passing score on the test. That was followed by some time at an indoor range getting qualified on the tranq guns.
The doctor reviewed my test and nodded. "Excellent, you're a fast learner. We've rescheduled some things for tomorrow so we'll have the extra help. You head home and get a good night's rest. I'll see you in the morning in the veterinary section, just follow the signs it's easy to find," the doctor said.
I did as he said and drove home. I couldn't help but be a good deal more vigilant as I looked at the woods on the way out. Dogmen were out there and no one in the area except us knew. There were the cryptid hunters but they didn't know for sure like I did from seeing a pack close up.
Needless to say I didn't get a whole lot of sleep that night. My mind was racing with the possibilities of what was real from all of the stories.
In the morning I made breakfast and sat for a bit having to give myself a reality check that yesterday wasn't just a dream, so I finally picked up my keys and headed out. I drove down the lonely road and passed through the gate without incident. I parked my car and made my way through the security checkpoints and began following the signs to the Veterinarian department. As the doctor had said, it wasn't difficult to find.
There were three entrances all like airlocks that were long enough for a gurney. It didn't take long to figure out the purpose. If you had dangerous animals inside you wanted at least one door containment so they couldn't get past you and into the larger facility.
I went inside through the airlock like doors one at a time and found myself in a very familiar veterinary clinic though one that was very well stocked.
It was then that I met my other coworker, I'll call him Mike, who was sitting on a stool reading a magazine.
"Hey, you must be the new guy. I'm Mike," he said and I introduced myself.
"So, your first big day. You excited, or terrified?" Mike asked.
"A bit of both," I said honestly.
"Relax, by the time they get to us they've been pumped with enough drugs to drop an elephant. We take samples and the guards take them back out. Then we run the usual tests like any other animal. It's easy money," Mike said. "We're never in any danger."
"What about all of the procedures?" I asked.
"There's what's written down on paper and then there's what is practical and works. If we followed the checklist for every dogman that's brought in here it would just take us twice as long, and twice as long that it can wake up," Mike said. "So relax, I'll show you what you really have to do to streamline things."
What was I to say? He'd obviously been doing this for a long time and if his system worked who was I to question it?
Our first patient of the day made me the most nervous. The security team wheeled in a restrained female on a gurney right into the middle of our space then they backed out. Being the new guy I did the basics by checking heart rate, breathing, and looking into the eyes to make sure she was out cold. Everything was normal based on the numbers I had memorized.
Mike watched me, corrected my stethoscope placement a little and started drawing blood as soon as I was done. The moment he was done he buzzed the guards to take her back out while he labeled the samples.
"Less time they're in here the better so label your samples and fill out the papers once they're taken out," Mike said. "No need to have a dangerous animal laying around while we fill out forms."
"What about the extra sedative we're supposed to have ready?" I asked.
"The tranq guns are right there. Much safer to back off out of reach and just shoot them with another dose," Mike said. I couldn't fault his logic.
We had four more patients that day all went as smoothly as the first and I was beginning to relax. It was our last patient of the day when things went wrong.
It started normally with the guards rolling the male into our space and I took vitals and checked the eyes.
"Hey, I have some dilation here. I don't think he's under enough. Where's the sedative?" I asked.
"Don't worry about it. I'll be done before he realizes what happened," Mike said and undid one of the restraints a little so he could get to the vein. It was at that point things went horribly wrong. As soon as Mike inserted the needle the male woke up and jabbed it's hand upward catching Mike in the throat and spraying blood everywhere. I moved forward out of instinct to try and tighten the restraint when I felt a searing pain across my face and my right eye went red.
I stumbled back. Oh God had I lost my eye? I shook myself out of it long enough to badge through a door and throw the bolts before pressing the intercom button. "Creature out of containment in veterinary. I think Mike is dead. I'm hurt and need a medic!" I said before blacking out.
I don't know how long it was but when I woke up I was in a hospital room and the Veterinarian was sitting beside my bed.
"You're safe, you're in a hospital and just out of cosmetic surgery. You'll have some scars but it'll look like the result of a big cat. Your eye is fine."
"Mike?" I asked.
"Dead before any help would get to him. We have video of the whole thing including you questioning him multiple times on matters of procedure. Don't let someone senior intimidate you into not being safe. You have a month's paid leave to recuperate." he said.
So here I am. I need some advice. Should I go back to work after my leave is done or turn in my resignation? It won't take them much to figure out who I am if they find this post. I also don't know what they'll do to me if they do.
submitted by modzer0 to mrcreeps [link] [comments]
I was unemployed looking for work when I came across a job listing offering a strangely large amount of money. What did I have to loose? I called the number and they gave me a website to go to that took me through an application process and a security clearance form that I had to fill out the last seven years of my life. They said it would be months until the clearance would come through but to my surprise a month later I got a phone call telling me I had been granted Interm Secret clearance and the job would proceed.
I had to go to a building without any name on it downtown and they took my photo for an ID card and a packet of information about where I was to go to the next day.
The next morning I drove to the address with a mix of excitement and apprehension. What about this job required a security clearance? Why had I gotten my interm secret so quickly? I figured I'd soon find out when I pulled up to a gate with a card reader. I swiped my ID and the razor wire topped gate slid open so I could pass. Yeah nothing ominous about that. I drove a mile or so down the road and parked in the parking lot in front of a building that looked like the set of a prison movie. The windows were narrow slits and I could tell from a distance that the door was very heavy duty. Thinking back a few minutes ago wasn't the top of that razor wire fence angled in as if to keep something in rather than people out?
I got out and approached the heavy door. I spotted the card reader and used my ID on it and it flashed green and there was a loud clunking sound from the door as it unlocked. I had to put some muscle behind it to get it to open and then it shut behind me followed by another loud clunk as the locks reengaged.
I turned to see a thick armored window with a guard staring me down.
"First day huh?" he asked me as he looked at his screen.
"Yeah," I said a bit nervously.
"Sit tight, your department head will be coming to pick you up and take you to your in-brief," he said.
"What uh, what is this place?" I asked.
"All that will be answered by the briefing so have a seat and relax. You're likely in the safest spot in the facility," he said.
I looked at the inner door and noticed it was just as thick and heavy as the outer one. I was essentially sitting in an armored booth so he was technically right about it being safe.
When my boss arrived he was wearing scrubs and had his ID card clipped to the bottom of the V of the top.
"So, you're my new tech?" he asked.
"Yes, Sir," I replied.
"Good, hopefully you follow instructions better than the last one," he said. "I'm Dr. Tanner. You can call me 'Sir' or 'Doctor'."
"Sir, can you tell me what I'll be doing here?" I asked.
"All in due time. First you need to complete the safety briefing. It is not a joke. Take a look at the windows and doors if you need convincing. The government doesn't spend this kind of money unless it's very necessary, and it is. You'll understand the need for it when I introduce you to our charges. I'm not going to tell you yet because I enjoy the look on people's faces when they get their first peak of what we're doing here," he said. "Now, for the safety briefing. Follow me."
He began to open the inner door when he stopped and looked back at me. "Do you have any electronic devices on you?"
"No Sir, the security documents instructed me to leave my phone and anything with a digital memory in the car," I said.
"Excellent, you're already demonstrating that you can follow directions," he said. Was that a hint of a smile I saw?
He lead me down the hallway to a room on the left and used his card to unlock and open the door. After I walked inside what appeared to be a conference room he followed me inside and let the door shut.
I immediately noticed the back of the door wasn't the usual thing one would expect to see. It had a big lever in the middle that looked like it operated bolts to secure the door shut. I started to wonder what the hell I had gotten myself into. I expected to be working with maybe the facility's guard dogs. This kind of security was on a level I hadn't experienced before.
"Good, you're observant, another plus," the doctor said.
He walked over to the table and picked up a recorder and pressed play. A trilling alarm sound came for it and he let it play for a few seconds before cutting it off.
"If you hear that sound along with flashing red lights you are to go to the nearest safe room, such as this one and use this lever to bolt the door," He walked over and pressed a button by the windows and the thick glass became opaque.
"And you are to opaque the windows with the control in the room so nothing can see in," he said and then pointed to a door on the other wall that had 'Emergency Supplies' written on it. "There you will find food, water, and other necessities if you happen to be locked down for an extended period of time. There is also a radio already set to the control room frequency. If the phone is not working pull the tab on the back of the radio so the battery makes contact and reports in with the information posted on the back of the door. That's basically who you are, where you are, and if there are any threats you know of near you. Otherwise sit tight unless told otherwise."
"Threats?" I asked.
"Our charges are out of containment or an external threat," the doctor replied.
"What's so dangerous that we need bunker rooms like this?" I asked.
"All in due time," he replied. "Have you ever used a tranquilizer gun?"
"No," I responded.
"No matter, you'd need to qualify on the two types we use anyway with the security team," he said.
"Why do we need tranquilizer guns?" I asked.
"The animals we work with are dangerous. They're sedated before they get to us and one of our tasks is to make sure they stay sedated until they're returned to the enclosure. If one wakes up and slips a restraint you are not going to want to go near it to give an injection. That's why we have tranq guns," The doctor said.
"That makes perfect sense to me," I said. My curiosity was burning wondering what we were working with. Had to be something like large predators to require this much security. A grizzly would be a plausible reason why the doors had the extra bars. The force they could produce could snap the usual latches.
"Good because it's time for my favorite part. Showing the new guy what we work with," the doctor said and led the way deeper into the facility and up a set of stars to a room labeled 'observation deck'.
"The windows are to remain frosted by the electronic controls there whenever the room is not in use. They cannot see in but they seem to know someone is watching them and it upsets them. It's best for everyone if they are not upset," He reached over and pressed the button and the electronic frosting cleared.
That's the moment where my brain completely derailed and I questioned my own sanity.
"W-Werewolves?" I asked.
"No, at least not at this facility. These are a lesser known cryptid called Dogmen, kind of like Bigfoot."
"Wait, is Bigfoot real?" I asked.
"Yes, but not nearly as widespread as 'sightings' would make you think," he said.
"If these exist, what else is real?" I asked him.
"That's beyond your need to know," he said sternly, but then his face softened. "I'll lend you a book later that contains everything we've confirmed and studied. After all, if you continue with this job you will have the opportunity to work with them in the future, and it's best you know what you're getting into," he said. "One benefit they probably haven't gotten around to telling you yet is that they will pay for your education. You can become a full veterinarian working with the most interesting creatures that exist," he said. "Not a bad gig, huh?"
"Except for the part where I'm working with large dangerous creatures," I said.
"Large, intelligent, dangerous creatures," he replied. "And that is why we have procedures and rules. Things like always having more sedative staged to inject if a patient starts to wake up, having them restrained at all times, and if they do wake up you have the tranq guns to put them back under without risking yourself," he said and tapped the control to frost over the glass again.
Our next stop was back in the conference room where there were now a couple of binders.
"Now for the boring part. Study these because you'll have to pass a test on them later. It's those procedures I mentioned. It covers everything from handling the animals, dosages we use, and why we can't leave after dark."
"Wait, we can't leave after dark?" I asked, a bit alarmed.
"There are dogmen in the woods surrounding this facility. The fence does a decent job of keeping them out but they do get in and they're not happy we have some of their kind captive. They're fairly shy during the day and become active at night so it's for your own safety that once the sun sets you stay here. We have secure rooms just for the occasion, and scrubs are not short in supply if you need a change of clothing. We have a mess hall staffed 24/7 by some excellent cooks. People who can do this job are rare so they take care of us. Now get to reading, you'll have to pass a test before you're allowed to work. I'll come pick you up for lunch."
I did as he said and spent the next few hours reading with a break for the promised lunch that was beef stroganoff and actually really good. I went for seconds. Then it was back to memorizing policy and procedures till I was finally done and managed a passing score on the test. That was followed by some time at an indoor range getting qualified on the tranq guns.
The doctor reviewed my test and nodded. "Excellent, you're a fast learner. We've rescheduled some things for tomorrow so we'll have the extra help. You head home and get a good night's rest. I'll see you in the morning in the veterinary section, just follow the signs it's easy to find," the doctor said.
I did as he said and drove home. I couldn't help but be a good deal more vigilant as I looked at the woods on the way out. Dogmen were out there and no one in the area except us knew. There were the cryptid hunters but they didn't know for sure like I did from seeing a pack close up.
Needless to say I didn't get a whole lot of sleep that night. My mind was racing with the possibilities of what was real from all of the stories.
In the morning I made breakfast and sat for a bit having to give myself a reality check that yesterday wasn't just a dream, so I finally picked up my keys and headed out. I drove down the lonely road and passed through the gate without incident. I parked my car and made my way through the security checkpoints and began following the signs to the Veterinarian department. As the doctor had said, it wasn't difficult to find.
There were three entrances all like airlocks that were long enough for a gurney. It didn't take long to figure out the purpose. If you had dangerous animals inside you wanted at least one door containment so they couldn't get past you and into the larger facility.
I went inside through the airlock like doors one at a time and found myself in a very familiar veterinary clinic though one that was very well stocked.
It was then that I met my other coworker, I'll call him Mike, who was sitting on a stool reading a magazine.
"Hey, you must be the new guy. I'm Mike," he said and I introduced myself.
"So, your first big day. You excited, or terrified?" Mike asked.
"A bit of both," I said honestly.
"Relax, by the time they get to us they've been pumped with enough drugs to drop an elephant. We take samples and the guards take them back out. Then we run the usual tests like any other animal. It's easy money," Mike said. "We're never in any danger."
"What about all of the procedures?" I asked.
"There's what's written down on paper and then there's what is practical and works. If we followed the checklist for every dogman that's brought in here it would just take us twice as long, and twice as long that it can wake up," Mike said. "So relax, I'll show you what you really have to do to streamline things."
What was I to say? He'd obviously been doing this for a long time and if his system worked who was I to question it?
Our first patient of the day made me the most nervous. The security team wheeled in a restrained female on a gurney right into the middle of our space then they backed out. Being the new guy I did the basics by checking heart rate, breathing, and looking into the eyes to make sure she was out cold. Everything was normal based on the numbers I had memorized.
Mike watched me, corrected my stethoscope placement a little and started drawing blood as soon as I was done. The moment he was done he buzzed the guards to take her back out while he labeled the samples.
"Less time they're in here the better so label your samples and fill out the papers once they're taken out," Mike said. "No need to have a dangerous animal laying around while we fill out forms."
"What about the extra sedative we're supposed to have ready?" I asked.
"The tranq guns are right there. Much safer to back off out of reach and just shoot them with another dose," Mike said. I couldn't fault his logic.
We had four more patients that day all went as smoothly as the first and I was beginning to relax. It was our last patient of the day when things went wrong.
It started normally with the guards rolling the male into our space and I took vitals and checked the eyes.
"Hey, I have some dilation here. I don't think he's under enough. Where's the sedative?" I asked.
"Don't worry about it. I'll be done before he realizes what happened," Mike said and undid one of the restraints a little so he could get to the vein. It was at that point things went horribly wrong. As soon as Mike inserted the needle the male woke up and jabbed it's hand upward catching Mike in the throat and spraying blood everywhere. I moved forward out of instinct to try and tighten the restraint when I felt a searing pain across my face and my right eye went red.
I stumbled back. Oh God had I lost my eye? I shook myself out of it long enough to badge through a door and throw the bolts before pressing the intercom button. "Creature out of containment in veterinary. I think Mike is dead. I'm hurt and need a medic!" I said before blacking out.
I don't know how long it was but when I woke up I was in a hospital room and the Veterinarian was sitting beside my bed.
"You're safe, you're in a hospital and just out of cosmetic surgery. You'll have some scars but it'll look like the result of a big cat. Your eye is fine."
"Mike?" I asked.
"Dead before any help would get to him. We have video of the whole thing including you questioning him multiple times on matters of procedure. Don't let someone senior intimidate you into not being safe. You have a month's paid leave to recuperate." he said.
So here I am. I need some advice. Should I go back to work after my leave is done or turn in my resignation? It won't take them much to figure out who I am if they find this post. I also don't know what they'll do to me if they do.
2024.05.20 09:12 Sleeplydreams Need job advice. (Assault)
I’m about a month away from being 18. I’ve had this job as a lube tech/ mechanic for 9 months. I’ve been a very good employee to say the least. Last Friday my coworker said some nasty shit to me about how I’m not doing my job I told him I was on the other side of the shop he said more nasty shit so I gave the same energy back. It was childish of me I know but my boss comes over rips my hat off my head by grabbing the top of my head. (Legally assault) Degraded me on my work, productivity, told me to never talk to my coworker like that and threatened to fire me. This something that is normal in the trade? Should i except this type of behavior 24/7 from my employer. I’m new to the trade. I can take any yelling or degradation and just say yes sir.(I’m the youngest in my family lol) I’m just looking for some life advice on this situation. I plan on quitting tomorrow my I live in a small town so trying to get another job is near to impossible. Thank you guys Also my shop I work at is small, we have 2 other mechanics a service writer and boss/owner
submitted by Sleeplydreams to Advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 09:12 Professional-Bar-414 Events officially gone, my final thoughts
I didn’t love it but it wasn’t awful, look past the very bad city smash game mode and horrible meta, monster eggs were a very cool concept with the fairly high chance of getting mutations/skins was nice. Though eggs were hard to get without spending gems. The club even was pretty sweet, getting all those gems and that awesome buzz skin was great, although I don’t have buzzes hypercharge and most people don’t so we can’t use it. Overall I won’t say I miss it but it was a fun event in my opinion and I’d like to see mutations come back in the future with some changes
submitted by Professional-Bar-414 to Brawlstars [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 09:12 JustMarshalling First 2 weeks: Detailed Playdate review
TL;DR It's a fun, novel handheld for people who want a completely unique, ultra-portable experience and don't like phone games. It comes with a fantastic community that keeps me coming back. Y’all are awesome!
————
Howdy! Here's my lengthy Playdate review after my first two weeks, including some observations I don't think I've seen anyone mention yet. I hope this helps someone decide if this quirky little thing is worth it.
Why I wanted a Playdate: I'm a casual gamer. I love my Switch (Stardew, Tower Fall, A Short Hike, It Takes Two, Smash Bros, etc) and hate my Xbox (purely Rocket League). I play mostly at home because, frankly, the Switch isn't portable enough as I can't throw it in my pocket and I ain't about to carry a bag around in case I want to check on my farm. Phone games never appealed to me as I just don't enjoy touch screens for interactive entertainment, plus ads can go eat dirt. I learned about the Playdate when it was first announced, but I'm cautious of completely new devices as we live in a world of cool ideas that get abandoned (my poor Pebble). But after preorders started arriving and the developer community continued growing, I realized the Playdate's development, evolution, and relevance won't depend on one company, but a whole involved group of people who all want this thing to succeed. So, I went for it.
The physical console: My immediate thought after unboxing was, this plastic is a little... gritty? Not cheap-feeling, but I was expecting a soft-touch plastic. The Playdate surface almost felt like a very fine fingernail file, but I got used to it quickly. Everything else about the build is flawless. It's solid, easy to throw in your pocket or backpack, and I can't stop picking it up. The crank is perfectly tuned, it takes no effort to turn but stays static when you don't touch it. The crank sensor is extremely precise. And the speaker on this thing genuinely surprised me, I’d say it rivals smartphone speakers.
The OS: Super clean, concise operating system, it solely exists to get you to your games. You have your home page to scroll through your library, Settings with 0 fluff, and the Catalog app (with the best shopping mart music). One gripe about Catalog is I wish it had a simple search or just “View all” option rather than sifting through collections. Of course you can search on a computephone but I would enjoy slightly more robust navigation on the Playdate itself.
The Screen: When the lighting is right, this screen looks amazing. It’s crisp and snappy. Very reminiscent of Pebble. BUT it would still be nice to have a backlight. It isn’t papematte like a Kindle screen, it’s reflective and really weird with light angles. For example, I’ve played on my covered balcony with full sunlight around me, but the dark ceiling of my balcony made it hard to see even with sunlight all around. I had to angle the screen toward the sky to get a better reflection.
The games: I’ve only scratched the surface of what this platform has to offer, but I’ll share my early thoughts. I’ve contained my urge to buy everything at once, sticking with 1-2 Catalog/Itch games a week to give each game a fair chance. Although I love the arcade games with precise crank controls, I’m eager to see more narrative options as the Playdate has certainly opened the door for the writers who want to make their brilliant storylines interactive. * Whitewater Wipeout: While it is fun, this is oddly one of my least favorite games so far. Even after dozens of attempts, the cranking direction vs what you see on screen just doesn’t feel right. * Casual Birder: Very cute, relaxing game. Feels very Stardew-adjacent with witty dialogue and a rewarding plot. I wish the story was a bit longer, it just sorta ends. I was enjoying the journey so much that the sudden conclusion made me sad that it was over so quickly. * Crankin’s Time Travel Adventure: This is exactly the kinda game you can only get with the Playdate. The controls are tight and the audio effects are hilarious and immersive. My only gripe (which feels like I’m overlooking something) is that you can’t replay levels you’ve already completed. I want to hand the game to my friends but I don’t want to start them on the difficult levels I’m on. * Boogie Loops: This one feels a bit over my head, or perhaps I just haven’t given it a fair shot. Everyone should have their own opinion but this doesn’t feel like something that you’d buy a Playdate for. I’m sure I’ve missed something but I just haven’t found much entertainment from it.
Now for a few Catalog games. * Root Bear: Phenomenal. Games like this are largely why I wanted the Playdate. It’s quirky, unique, utilizes the crank very precisely, and has tons of replayability. $103 so far! * A Balanced Brew: Sensational. Another great example of precise cranking. The visuals are striking and the evermore-challenging stages never feel repetitive. Flawless physics. * Recommendation Dog: At first I wasn’t all that enthused, but after a couple tries this is now one of my favorites. Such a fun use of the crank and hilarious details throughout the Rolodex. * A Joke That’s Worth .99¢: I hear that song in my nightmares now. Such a silly, Souls-difficulty game. Beautifully miserable, disgustingly replayable, just a true scourge that I can’t stop playing. 0/10 but maybe 12/10 depending on if I ever hear the damn punchline.
Itch.io has endless options, here are a few notable ones. * super corporate tax evader: Fun little game, cute crank feature. But I lost interest after a few plays, it’s pretty limited in content and I feel like it’s fairly easy to get high scores once you figure it out. I hope it updates with more content and more challenging situations, because it’s a smart little game. * Binairo: This is an example of a game you can easily get on your phone, but it’s just more tangible and fun on this little black and white screen. I’ve spent a lot of time solving these deceptively simple puzzles. * Maze: Fantastic ball balance game. The accelerometer in the Playdate is astonishingly sensitive, which makes this an awesome challenge. It even works upright which is weirdly intuitive. * Memory Lane: Basic card matching memory game, but the aesthetics and simplicity are very nice. Again, more enjoyable on Playdate than a phone screen.
I’m still trying a few more but haven’t played them enough to have a full impression: Post Hero, Reel Steal, Simorgh, About Time.
I hope this is informative for someone! I’ll probably check in with a smaller update in a few more weeks or after Season 1.
submitted by JustMarshalling to PlaydateConsole [link] [comments]
————
Howdy! Here's my lengthy Playdate review after my first two weeks, including some observations I don't think I've seen anyone mention yet. I hope this helps someone decide if this quirky little thing is worth it.
Why I wanted a Playdate: I'm a casual gamer. I love my Switch (Stardew, Tower Fall, A Short Hike, It Takes Two, Smash Bros, etc) and hate my Xbox (purely Rocket League). I play mostly at home because, frankly, the Switch isn't portable enough as I can't throw it in my pocket and I ain't about to carry a bag around in case I want to check on my farm. Phone games never appealed to me as I just don't enjoy touch screens for interactive entertainment, plus ads can go eat dirt. I learned about the Playdate when it was first announced, but I'm cautious of completely new devices as we live in a world of cool ideas that get abandoned (my poor Pebble). But after preorders started arriving and the developer community continued growing, I realized the Playdate's development, evolution, and relevance won't depend on one company, but a whole involved group of people who all want this thing to succeed. So, I went for it.
The physical console: My immediate thought after unboxing was, this plastic is a little... gritty? Not cheap-feeling, but I was expecting a soft-touch plastic. The Playdate surface almost felt like a very fine fingernail file, but I got used to it quickly. Everything else about the build is flawless. It's solid, easy to throw in your pocket or backpack, and I can't stop picking it up. The crank is perfectly tuned, it takes no effort to turn but stays static when you don't touch it. The crank sensor is extremely precise. And the speaker on this thing genuinely surprised me, I’d say it rivals smartphone speakers.
The OS: Super clean, concise operating system, it solely exists to get you to your games. You have your home page to scroll through your library, Settings with 0 fluff, and the Catalog app (with the best shopping mart music). One gripe about Catalog is I wish it had a simple search or just “View all” option rather than sifting through collections. Of course you can search on a computephone but I would enjoy slightly more robust navigation on the Playdate itself.
The Screen: When the lighting is right, this screen looks amazing. It’s crisp and snappy. Very reminiscent of Pebble. BUT it would still be nice to have a backlight. It isn’t papematte like a Kindle screen, it’s reflective and really weird with light angles. For example, I’ve played on my covered balcony with full sunlight around me, but the dark ceiling of my balcony made it hard to see even with sunlight all around. I had to angle the screen toward the sky to get a better reflection.
The games: I’ve only scratched the surface of what this platform has to offer, but I’ll share my early thoughts. I’ve contained my urge to buy everything at once, sticking with 1-2 Catalog/Itch games a week to give each game a fair chance. Although I love the arcade games with precise crank controls, I’m eager to see more narrative options as the Playdate has certainly opened the door for the writers who want to make their brilliant storylines interactive. * Whitewater Wipeout: While it is fun, this is oddly one of my least favorite games so far. Even after dozens of attempts, the cranking direction vs what you see on screen just doesn’t feel right. * Casual Birder: Very cute, relaxing game. Feels very Stardew-adjacent with witty dialogue and a rewarding plot. I wish the story was a bit longer, it just sorta ends. I was enjoying the journey so much that the sudden conclusion made me sad that it was over so quickly. * Crankin’s Time Travel Adventure: This is exactly the kinda game you can only get with the Playdate. The controls are tight and the audio effects are hilarious and immersive. My only gripe (which feels like I’m overlooking something) is that you can’t replay levels you’ve already completed. I want to hand the game to my friends but I don’t want to start them on the difficult levels I’m on. * Boogie Loops: This one feels a bit over my head, or perhaps I just haven’t given it a fair shot. Everyone should have their own opinion but this doesn’t feel like something that you’d buy a Playdate for. I’m sure I’ve missed something but I just haven’t found much entertainment from it.
Now for a few Catalog games. * Root Bear: Phenomenal. Games like this are largely why I wanted the Playdate. It’s quirky, unique, utilizes the crank very precisely, and has tons of replayability. $103 so far! * A Balanced Brew: Sensational. Another great example of precise cranking. The visuals are striking and the evermore-challenging stages never feel repetitive. Flawless physics. * Recommendation Dog: At first I wasn’t all that enthused, but after a couple tries this is now one of my favorites. Such a fun use of the crank and hilarious details throughout the Rolodex. * A Joke That’s Worth .99¢: I hear that song in my nightmares now. Such a silly, Souls-difficulty game. Beautifully miserable, disgustingly replayable, just a true scourge that I can’t stop playing. 0/10 but maybe 12/10 depending on if I ever hear the damn punchline.
Itch.io has endless options, here are a few notable ones. * super corporate tax evader: Fun little game, cute crank feature. But I lost interest after a few plays, it’s pretty limited in content and I feel like it’s fairly easy to get high scores once you figure it out. I hope it updates with more content and more challenging situations, because it’s a smart little game. * Binairo: This is an example of a game you can easily get on your phone, but it’s just more tangible and fun on this little black and white screen. I’ve spent a lot of time solving these deceptively simple puzzles. * Maze: Fantastic ball balance game. The accelerometer in the Playdate is astonishingly sensitive, which makes this an awesome challenge. It even works upright which is weirdly intuitive. * Memory Lane: Basic card matching memory game, but the aesthetics and simplicity are very nice. Again, more enjoyable on Playdate than a phone screen.
I’m still trying a few more but haven’t played them enough to have a full impression: Post Hero, Reel Steal, Simorgh, About Time.
I hope this is informative for someone! I’ll probably check in with a smaller update in a few more weeks or after Season 1.
2024.05.20 09:12 solideye1204 I just want love and comfort out of life.
This goal apparently is reserved for people who lie and cheat. I'm honest to a fault. I never try to hurt anyone. I help when I think I can. I'm an empath and find it hard to be judgemental since I can always see a reason for something. Which just breaks my brain when I see people in relationships and jobs and great homes. I've observed one thing in common. They stepped on others to get there.
I get it and I don't. And I'm so sick of losing to this weird rule. You can treat someone the best they've ever had. Go hundreds of miles and several hours out of your way. But it's the guy who hits her and throws her that gets what he wants. My efforts have never been shown back to me. In my almost 30 years. And I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just know I'm tired of getting my hopes up. For anything. It's not like I do things for a benefit. But at the same time it'd be nice to have at least a fraction of the same effort be reciprocated.
I've tried and tried over the past few years to end it. But I can't pull the trigger. I don't see a favorable end to any of this. Even if I do well for just myself. What good is success and stability if everyone is incredulous of your actions and intentions. Ulterior motives are something I've never had. I'm always up front. But rarely believed.
My heart has been stretched and broken. So many times. I don't think I have much more than dust left. Even mild happiness seems like a fairytale now. I just want to rest forever.
submitted by solideye1204 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
I get it and I don't. And I'm so sick of losing to this weird rule. You can treat someone the best they've ever had. Go hundreds of miles and several hours out of your way. But it's the guy who hits her and throws her that gets what he wants. My efforts have never been shown back to me. In my almost 30 years. And I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just know I'm tired of getting my hopes up. For anything. It's not like I do things for a benefit. But at the same time it'd be nice to have at least a fraction of the same effort be reciprocated.
I've tried and tried over the past few years to end it. But I can't pull the trigger. I don't see a favorable end to any of this. Even if I do well for just myself. What good is success and stability if everyone is incredulous of your actions and intentions. Ulterior motives are something I've never had. I'm always up front. But rarely believed.
My heart has been stretched and broken. So many times. I don't think I have much more than dust left. Even mild happiness seems like a fairytale now. I just want to rest forever.
2024.05.20 09:12 starstreakss I cant move on and it is killing me
this guy i have been talking to for almost two years told me to move on because he couldnt be a good partner to me rn because of things that are happening in his life (he refused to tell me what). later he texted me that he loves me and that he hopes that God will bring us back together in the future, that he wishes that we are destined to each others. he told me that I was his. I have tried so hard to convince him to talk things through but he just does not respond to me when I ask. he says that he is embarrassed to tell me the state of his life.
my physical and mental health has been declining alot lately and i had a panic attack yesterday. I called him multiple times and he didnt respond. I texted him saying that i needed to talk things through because it is eating me from the inside. no response. i told him that my health is getting really bad, also no response. I need closure and he refuses to give it to me. idk what to do. i am in such a bad place, i dont even want to date this man i just dont want to feel worthless and abandoned. what do i do?
submitted by starstreakss to Advice [link] [comments]
my physical and mental health has been declining alot lately and i had a panic attack yesterday. I called him multiple times and he didnt respond. I texted him saying that i needed to talk things through because it is eating me from the inside. no response. i told him that my health is getting really bad, also no response. I need closure and he refuses to give it to me. idk what to do. i am in such a bad place, i dont even want to date this man i just dont want to feel worthless and abandoned. what do i do?
2024.05.20 09:11 Midnight_Recovery Any ideas to help my 6yo daughter not be afraid of the ball when trying to catch.
Hello everyone I hope this is the place for this question. Ima full time single parent have had my daughter full time the past 4years. As far back as I can remember she has always had an intrest in sports of all kinds. Dosent matter baseball, football, hockey you name it she's into it. Part of me feels like most of it is because of the whole being part of a team type of deal.
We recently got some gloves and we got the most softest ball we could possibly find. She was excite when picking out her glove trying them on to see which ones would fit ect.The first couple of days she was scared but excited.
However when it comes time for her to catch the ball she is scared. For the most part she will stand there with the glove at waist level facing up and she will catch it basically if I throw the ball into her glove. There are a few times she does catch it on her own however the glove stays the same no matter what. Waist level facing up and open. She's expressed to me she dosent want the ball to hit her. I tried explaining to her thats what the glove is there for, to help protect her if she dosent catch it at the very lease the glove will help to protect whatever area of her body the glove is covering in front of if that makes sence or not.
We have tried several diffeent ways to practice getting her used to catching the ball. Most importantly using the glove in more ways than one to catch the ball, instead of having the glove at waist level facing up and open. We have tried standing next to eachother hand each other the ball take a step back hand it off again take another step back short throw step back rinse n repeat. We have tried tossing the ball straight up in the air so she can get used to putting her glove in the air to try and catch the ball. We even went as far as getting a tennis ball bouncing it off the wall so she can catch it and she does the glove in the air but bending the rest of her body down including her face to avoid the ball hitting her.
I've always threw the ball under handed. Never threw the ball hard, she has the same fear when it comes to the tennis ball as well. I've tried telling her no matter what sports you play you always run the risk you might get her but so does everyone else that she is playing with, if it happends it only hurts for a little while the only thing that matters is if she has fun. If she worries less about the ball hitting her and spends more time focusing on just having fun that odds are she will for m get all about getting hit by the ball in no time. By all means I'm not trying to push the game on her this was her choice and I always double and triple check if she's positive she wants this.
She always responds this is what she wants she's just scared to get hit by the ball and it ends up hurting her.
submitted by Midnight_Recovery to BaseballCoaching [link] [comments]
We recently got some gloves and we got the most softest ball we could possibly find. She was excite when picking out her glove trying them on to see which ones would fit ect.The first couple of days she was scared but excited.
However when it comes time for her to catch the ball she is scared. For the most part she will stand there with the glove at waist level facing up and she will catch it basically if I throw the ball into her glove. There are a few times she does catch it on her own however the glove stays the same no matter what. Waist level facing up and open. She's expressed to me she dosent want the ball to hit her. I tried explaining to her thats what the glove is there for, to help protect her if she dosent catch it at the very lease the glove will help to protect whatever area of her body the glove is covering in front of if that makes sence or not.
We have tried several diffeent ways to practice getting her used to catching the ball. Most importantly using the glove in more ways than one to catch the ball, instead of having the glove at waist level facing up and open. We have tried standing next to eachother hand each other the ball take a step back hand it off again take another step back short throw step back rinse n repeat. We have tried tossing the ball straight up in the air so she can get used to putting her glove in the air to try and catch the ball. We even went as far as getting a tennis ball bouncing it off the wall so she can catch it and she does the glove in the air but bending the rest of her body down including her face to avoid the ball hitting her.
I've always threw the ball under handed. Never threw the ball hard, she has the same fear when it comes to the tennis ball as well. I've tried telling her no matter what sports you play you always run the risk you might get her but so does everyone else that she is playing with, if it happends it only hurts for a little while the only thing that matters is if she has fun. If she worries less about the ball hitting her and spends more time focusing on just having fun that odds are she will for m get all about getting hit by the ball in no time. By all means I'm not trying to push the game on her this was her choice and I always double and triple check if she's positive she wants this.
She always responds this is what she wants she's just scared to get hit by the ball and it ends up hurting her.
2024.05.20 09:10 RedSiren2 Parent's Day is full of woe (fanscript/fanepisode) (spoilers) (part 4)
TW: Implication of alcoholism by the end
Scene: Outside the school walls. Xavier walks over the meadow to some of the seats where some of the friends, Wednesday included are sitting. Suddenly, Morticia appears by his side.
Morticia: My dear.
Xavier: (looking at her surprised) Oh…
Gomez: (steps up next to him as well, smiling) We didn’t get a chance to talk last time.
Morticia: It’s Xavier, right? Or Exavier?
Xavier: (blows out air) Whichever you prefer.
They chuckle a little.
Xavier: (smiles) Both is quite alright.
They smile and walk on with him. Morticia takes his arm meanwhile.
Gomez: You’ve been keeping our little stormcloud company very well, we’ve heard?
Xavier: Yes… (smirks) … I do. Still do, very much so.
Morticia: (looks at him for a moment, smiling, but a tad of somberness sneaks in) A lot of people do not bother to keep going with us like this.
Xavier: (smiles, shrugs) I guess that’s just what I do.
Gomez: (looks at him for a long moment as well, then smiles and pats his shoulder) Must be your blood. Your father always took pride in his family’s insistence to never back down from a fight.
Xavier: (sighs a little) He still does that as well.
Morticia: I remember his prowess in fencing. Not many could hold their ground against him – I heard you also fence?
Xavier: (nods) But my main thing is art, to be honest. I rather do sports on the side.
Gomez: I’ve seen some of your work. (puts a hand on his back) Very kahlo, lovely.
Xavier: (chuckles)
Morticia: It’s much like her work, save for the blood and skeletons.
Xavier: (chuckles a little) That’s reserved for my nightmare collection.
Morticia and Gomez: (very interigued) Oh?
They keep talking and chuckling as they walk slower. Wednesday watches them closely, with an expression hard to read. Eugene comes stomping over, without his moms, and flops down on the bench between her and Bianca.
Wednesday: (not turning to him) Have your moms left already?
Eugene: (coldly) Maybe. I’m not talking to them any more today, so there’s that.
Bianca: (looks at him)
Eugene: (looking at his phone, coldly) It’s nice to get a say in something, right?
Bianca: Right.
Eugene: (cools down a little) How was it with you guys?
Bianca: (sighs) Don’t ask. I hope my mom doesn’t try to make any more conversation today as well.
Eugene looks at her, then presses her hand.
Wednesday: We had a talk with the principal. He decided to skip my late-night maraudering because he knew they’d love it, and left it at that I’m starting to have a bad influence on all of you.
Bianca and Eugene chuckle
Wednesday: Well, isn’t it true?
Bianca: It’s awfully nice of him.
They exchange a smirk. Even Eugene smiles a little again. Ajax comes running over.
Ajax: Have you guys seen Enid?
Bianca: She went back to the castle a while ago, but I haven’t seen her since.
Ajax: (sighs, sits down and fetches his phone)
Xavier, Morticia and Gomez reach their group, still chatting cheerfully.
Xavier: (to Wednesday) Hey.
Wednesday: I see you’ve met my parents.
Xavier: Well met, I’d say.
Gomez: Oh, I’d say so too, dear boy.
Morticia: He really has the charm of his family.
Wednesday: (furrows her brows) Really?
Xavier rolls his eyes, but before he can say anything, Mrs. Sinclair arrives.
Esther: (to the group) Have you kids seen Enid? She ran out on us.
Wednesday: Already? Well done.
They exchange a glare.
Esther: Well (she looks around) I can’t expect your help, now can I?
Ajax looks down, so do Eugene and Xavier, but Bianca returns her glare.
Esther: You could at least check her Instagram. I'm sure she's posting about this day already. (sighs) (to Morticia and Gomez) Kids these days.
The group tenses up.
Morticia: (staying friendly) Now Essi, perhaps she just needs time to cool off.
Esther sighs, waves away and walks off, past the other bodyguard Barnes from the Thorpe entourage who is coming over with an elderly man in a suit using a walking stick.
Xavier: (notices them) (happily) Davis!
Barnes: (rolls his eyes) Just Davis indeed.
Xavier: (chuckles and hugs him) Sorry Barnes.
Barnes: (chuckles and pats his back) How are you, skinny. Ah, there’s that backbone that I like.
Xavier: (chuckles, then turns to Davis, who hugs him with one arm while holding onto his stick)
Davis: Dear boy.
Xavier helps him to sit down on at the table.
Xavier: How’s your rib?
Davis: Much better. I was well enough to drive, but finding a parking spot was a pain on it’s own.
Xavier: (chuckles, but then gets serious) All registers to get me back on track, right?
Davis: (sighs) So it would seem. I’d tell you what to do, but … you already know.
Xavier: (nods, then presses Davis’ hand, who smiles)
Morticia: Davis. Do you remember us?
Davis: (looks at the Addams spouses) I’m quite sure I can’t recall every single time I went to bed in a once more squeaky clean house cursing both your family names.
Gomez: Pity. I remember the spider outbreak of 1990 very fondly.
Morticia: Oh, it was.
Davis: (shakes his head) And it seems this family doesn’t have quite enough of that yet.
Xavier: (rolls his eyes, wants to say something, but freezes, looking over Davis’ shoulder)
Vincent enters the meadow with Ced by his side, walking towards them. Around him, people turn and stare, some looking away quickly. Everyone seems a tad intimidated. Wednesday looks on, then turns to her parents – and freezes herself. Their expressions have dropped. Both of them look at Vincent with a mix of gloom and fear. He smiles at them, stopping before their group. Barnes goes to stand next to him again.
Vincent: The spouses Addams. How long has it been.
Gomez: (monotonely, but staying composed) Ten years, Vini.
Vincent: Well, we haven’t changed a bit, right?
Morticia: (smiling, but coldly) Certainly not.
Gomez: We thought you never attend parent day.
Vincent: (shrugs) Urgent family business called for it. Some PR adjustments, if you will.
Xavier frowns, looking down. Vincent smiles at the two of them still, but before he can say anything more, Ced catches something behind the back of his neck. Vincent ducks, and Barnes flinches. Ced is holding a pearl. Vincent shakes his head a little, amused, while Morticia cringes. Gabrielle peeks out next to Barnes, smirking at him.
Vincent: I thought I told you not to startle my bodyguards.
Gabrielle: I’m quite sure I can’t recall.
He smiles, and she leans over to exchange a brief kiss on the cheek.
Vincent: My dear old school friend I will one day shed tears over publicly.
Gabrielle: I know you will. So … also here on family business? (she looks at her daughter) Some teenagers to reel in?
Vincent: One, and that’s one too much.
Gabrielle: (chuckles) Have kids, they said.
Xavier and Bianca look down, frowning.
Vincent: Meanwhile, I was going to have a talk with his friends. (checks his watch) Scheduled for now.
Bianca: (glaring at him) We told him to stay at school.
Vincent: (smiles a little at her, but his expression changes when speaking to her) Oh?
Bianca: Of course. (in the background, the Addams spouses observe this exchange with interest)
Eugene: We don’t condone this Xavier. Erm… behaviour.
Vincent: (chuckles) Neither do I kid, you have no idea.
Xavier: (shaking with rage) Are you done?
Vincent: Not exactly. I do want to speak to your friends. (he looks at Bianca, who returns his look. Then turns away) Mr. Ottinger.
Eugene: (looks up again, startled) Me?
Vincent: Have a walk with me. I’d like for you to tell me something about yourself. Ced, you come with us.
Ced: Yes, sir.
Eugene: (a little nervous, gets up slowly and follows him as he walks away)
Wednesday turns and watches them walk away.
Xavier: (sighs) Of course.
Wednesday: What? What does this mean?
Xavier: He’ll offer him an apprenticeship. My father is interested in people with special powers.
Wednesday looks on, then at her parents – they give her a warning look. She turns back, observing once more. Morticia however, manages to smile again.
Morticia: (to Bianca) My dear.
Bianca: Me?
Morticia: I heard you head the fencing club currently. Would you like to visit the old gym with me? It’s been so long.
Bianca: (stares at her for a long moment) Sure.
They leave together. Wednesday looks on after them.
Cut to Lucas working at Weathervane. Sheriff Galpin walks in – slower than he used to. He stops at the counter and orders a black coffee. Lucas prepares it, looking at him concerned. Galpin thanks him quietly, then sits at the corner table. Lucas serves the next customer, then, after a moment of thinking, gets himself a coffee and sits down with him. They exchange a somber look. Galpin reaches into his pocket – then looks back up at Lucas, deciding not to add anything to his coffee. They sit in silence for a moment.
Galpin: It’s all my fault. Everything.
Lucas: (looks at him)
Galpin: What do you say to that?
Lucas: I don’t know.
They’re silent for another moment.
Lucas: Maybe … it’s not fair that you blame yourself more than the people who actually did something.
Galpin: (looks at him)
Lucas: She doesn’t feel bad about it.
Galpin: There’s still more I could have done, kid.
Lucas: So could I.
Galpin: Huh?
Lucas: I did things in my life I’m not proud of. Nobody forced me to, but I did. Can’t undo those, so – I’m looking ahead.
Galpin: (smiles) You have a lot to become happy about still. Not me.
Lucas: Not so sure.
Galpin: (looks at him) I am.
Lucas: (looks at him)
Galpin: If it helps, I … I want that for you. Really do.
Lucas: (smiles)
Galpin: (sighs, looks out the window) I don’t know where to start, kid. Even … even saying it’s my fault was hard.
Lucas: (shrugs) It’s a start. Talking helped me with that.
Galpin: (looks out the window still, seeing cars pass by heading for Nevermore – then looks at Lucas) What’s your favourite coffee?
Lucas: What? Erm … I guess the … the moccachino with walnut syrup? It’s nice.
Galpin: (searches his pocket and fetches a 10 dollar bill) Here. (he hands it to him) Keep the change. Get yourself one of those, and …
Lucas: (looks at him, surprised)
Galpin: … and then tell me stuff. Whatever you like.
They exchange another somber, but gentle look – then Lucas smiles.
Lucas: Alright.
He goes to prepare his coffee.
Galpin: Thank you, Lukes.
Lucas: (stills for a moment, then smiles again) You’re welcome.
submitted by RedSiren2 to Wednesday [link] [comments]
Morticia: My dear.
Xavier: (looking at her surprised) Oh…
Gomez: (steps up next to him as well, smiling) We didn’t get a chance to talk last time.
Morticia: It’s Xavier, right? Or Exavier?
Xavier: (blows out air) Whichever you prefer.
They chuckle a little.
Xavier: (smiles) Both is quite alright.
They smile and walk on with him. Morticia takes his arm meanwhile.
Gomez: You’ve been keeping our little stormcloud company very well, we’ve heard?
Xavier: Yes… (smirks) … I do. Still do, very much so.
Morticia: (looks at him for a moment, smiling, but a tad of somberness sneaks in) A lot of people do not bother to keep going with us like this.
Xavier: (smiles, shrugs) I guess that’s just what I do.
Gomez: (looks at him for a long moment as well, then smiles and pats his shoulder) Must be your blood. Your father always took pride in his family’s insistence to never back down from a fight.
Xavier: (sighs a little) He still does that as well.
Morticia: I remember his prowess in fencing. Not many could hold their ground against him – I heard you also fence?
Xavier: (nods) But my main thing is art, to be honest. I rather do sports on the side.
Gomez: I’ve seen some of your work. (puts a hand on his back) Very kahlo, lovely.
Xavier: (chuckles)
Morticia: It’s much like her work, save for the blood and skeletons.
Xavier: (chuckles a little) That’s reserved for my nightmare collection.
Morticia and Gomez: (very interigued) Oh?
They keep talking and chuckling as they walk slower. Wednesday watches them closely, with an expression hard to read. Eugene comes stomping over, without his moms, and flops down on the bench between her and Bianca.
Wednesday: (not turning to him) Have your moms left already?
Eugene: (coldly) Maybe. I’m not talking to them any more today, so there’s that.
Bianca: (looks at him)
Eugene: (looking at his phone, coldly) It’s nice to get a say in something, right?
Bianca: Right.
Eugene: (cools down a little) How was it with you guys?
Bianca: (sighs) Don’t ask. I hope my mom doesn’t try to make any more conversation today as well.
Eugene looks at her, then presses her hand.
Wednesday: We had a talk with the principal. He decided to skip my late-night maraudering because he knew they’d love it, and left it at that I’m starting to have a bad influence on all of you.
Bianca and Eugene chuckle
Wednesday: Well, isn’t it true?
Bianca: It’s awfully nice of him.
They exchange a smirk. Even Eugene smiles a little again. Ajax comes running over.
Ajax: Have you guys seen Enid?
Bianca: She went back to the castle a while ago, but I haven’t seen her since.
Ajax: (sighs, sits down and fetches his phone)
Xavier, Morticia and Gomez reach their group, still chatting cheerfully.
Xavier: (to Wednesday) Hey.
Wednesday: I see you’ve met my parents.
Xavier: Well met, I’d say.
Gomez: Oh, I’d say so too, dear boy.
Morticia: He really has the charm of his family.
Wednesday: (furrows her brows) Really?
Xavier rolls his eyes, but before he can say anything, Mrs. Sinclair arrives.
Esther: (to the group) Have you kids seen Enid? She ran out on us.
Wednesday: Already? Well done.
They exchange a glare.
Esther: Well (she looks around) I can’t expect your help, now can I?
Ajax looks down, so do Eugene and Xavier, but Bianca returns her glare.
Esther: You could at least check her Instagram. I'm sure she's posting about this day already. (sighs) (to Morticia and Gomez) Kids these days.
The group tenses up.
Morticia: (staying friendly) Now Essi, perhaps she just needs time to cool off.
Esther sighs, waves away and walks off, past the other bodyguard Barnes from the Thorpe entourage who is coming over with an elderly man in a suit using a walking stick.
Xavier: (notices them) (happily) Davis!
Barnes: (rolls his eyes) Just Davis indeed.
Xavier: (chuckles and hugs him) Sorry Barnes.
Barnes: (chuckles and pats his back) How are you, skinny. Ah, there’s that backbone that I like.
Xavier: (chuckles, then turns to Davis, who hugs him with one arm while holding onto his stick)
Davis: Dear boy.
Xavier helps him to sit down on at the table.
Xavier: How’s your rib?
Davis: Much better. I was well enough to drive, but finding a parking spot was a pain on it’s own.
Xavier: (chuckles, but then gets serious) All registers to get me back on track, right?
Davis: (sighs) So it would seem. I’d tell you what to do, but … you already know.
Xavier: (nods, then presses Davis’ hand, who smiles)
Morticia: Davis. Do you remember us?
Davis: (looks at the Addams spouses) I’m quite sure I can’t recall every single time I went to bed in a once more squeaky clean house cursing both your family names.
Gomez: Pity. I remember the spider outbreak of 1990 very fondly.
Morticia: Oh, it was.
Davis: (shakes his head) And it seems this family doesn’t have quite enough of that yet.
Xavier: (rolls his eyes, wants to say something, but freezes, looking over Davis’ shoulder)
Vincent enters the meadow with Ced by his side, walking towards them. Around him, people turn and stare, some looking away quickly. Everyone seems a tad intimidated. Wednesday looks on, then turns to her parents – and freezes herself. Their expressions have dropped. Both of them look at Vincent with a mix of gloom and fear. He smiles at them, stopping before their group. Barnes goes to stand next to him again.
Vincent: The spouses Addams. How long has it been.
Gomez: (monotonely, but staying composed) Ten years, Vini.
Vincent: Well, we haven’t changed a bit, right?
Morticia: (smiling, but coldly) Certainly not.
Gomez: We thought you never attend parent day.
Vincent: (shrugs) Urgent family business called for it. Some PR adjustments, if you will.
Xavier frowns, looking down. Vincent smiles at the two of them still, but before he can say anything more, Ced catches something behind the back of his neck. Vincent ducks, and Barnes flinches. Ced is holding a pearl. Vincent shakes his head a little, amused, while Morticia cringes. Gabrielle peeks out next to Barnes, smirking at him.
Vincent: I thought I told you not to startle my bodyguards.
Gabrielle: I’m quite sure I can’t recall.
He smiles, and she leans over to exchange a brief kiss on the cheek.
Vincent: My dear old school friend I will one day shed tears over publicly.
Gabrielle: I know you will. So … also here on family business? (she looks at her daughter) Some teenagers to reel in?
Vincent: One, and that’s one too much.
Gabrielle: (chuckles) Have kids, they said.
Xavier and Bianca look down, frowning.
Vincent: Meanwhile, I was going to have a talk with his friends. (checks his watch) Scheduled for now.
Bianca: (glaring at him) We told him to stay at school.
Vincent: (smiles a little at her, but his expression changes when speaking to her) Oh?
Bianca: Of course. (in the background, the Addams spouses observe this exchange with interest)
Eugene: We don’t condone this Xavier. Erm… behaviour.
Vincent: (chuckles) Neither do I kid, you have no idea.
Xavier: (shaking with rage) Are you done?
Vincent: Not exactly. I do want to speak to your friends. (he looks at Bianca, who returns his look. Then turns away) Mr. Ottinger.
Eugene: (looks up again, startled) Me?
Vincent: Have a walk with me. I’d like for you to tell me something about yourself. Ced, you come with us.
Ced: Yes, sir.
Eugene: (a little nervous, gets up slowly and follows him as he walks away)
Wednesday turns and watches them walk away.
Xavier: (sighs) Of course.
Wednesday: What? What does this mean?
Xavier: He’ll offer him an apprenticeship. My father is interested in people with special powers.
Wednesday looks on, then at her parents – they give her a warning look. She turns back, observing once more. Morticia however, manages to smile again.
Morticia: (to Bianca) My dear.
Bianca: Me?
Morticia: I heard you head the fencing club currently. Would you like to visit the old gym with me? It’s been so long.
Bianca: (stares at her for a long moment) Sure.
They leave together. Wednesday looks on after them.
Cut to Lucas working at Weathervane. Sheriff Galpin walks in – slower than he used to. He stops at the counter and orders a black coffee. Lucas prepares it, looking at him concerned. Galpin thanks him quietly, then sits at the corner table. Lucas serves the next customer, then, after a moment of thinking, gets himself a coffee and sits down with him. They exchange a somber look. Galpin reaches into his pocket – then looks back up at Lucas, deciding not to add anything to his coffee. They sit in silence for a moment.
Galpin: It’s all my fault. Everything.
Lucas: (looks at him)
Galpin: What do you say to that?
Lucas: I don’t know.
They’re silent for another moment.
Lucas: Maybe … it’s not fair that you blame yourself more than the people who actually did something.
Galpin: (looks at him)
Lucas: She doesn’t feel bad about it.
Galpin: There’s still more I could have done, kid.
Lucas: So could I.
Galpin: Huh?
Lucas: I did things in my life I’m not proud of. Nobody forced me to, but I did. Can’t undo those, so – I’m looking ahead.
Galpin: (smiles) You have a lot to become happy about still. Not me.
Lucas: Not so sure.
Galpin: (looks at him) I am.
Lucas: (looks at him)
Galpin: If it helps, I … I want that for you. Really do.
Lucas: (smiles)
Galpin: (sighs, looks out the window) I don’t know where to start, kid. Even … even saying it’s my fault was hard.
Lucas: (shrugs) It’s a start. Talking helped me with that.
Galpin: (looks out the window still, seeing cars pass by heading for Nevermore – then looks at Lucas) What’s your favourite coffee?
Lucas: What? Erm … I guess the … the moccachino with walnut syrup? It’s nice.
Galpin: (searches his pocket and fetches a 10 dollar bill) Here. (he hands it to him) Keep the change. Get yourself one of those, and …
Lucas: (looks at him, surprised)
Galpin: … and then tell me stuff. Whatever you like.
They exchange another somber, but gentle look – then Lucas smiles.
Lucas: Alright.
He goes to prepare his coffee.
Galpin: Thank you, Lukes.
Lucas: (stills for a moment, then smiles again) You’re welcome.
2024.05.20 09:10 Pleasant_Inspection9 How are we going today?
I’ll go first. I’m doing terribly. I’m not okay today. I could barely get out of bed. I’m meant to be looking for jobs but I couldn’t focus on any of my applications, and all I can think about is what last night represented, and how familiar that deep seated feeling of dread is as the best chance we had to witness a premiership in Melbourne - by Melbourne - out of the Covid hellscape - fades away.
It wasn’t a close loss, or a clutch loss, or that weird Brisbane loss after a (hugely successful) business trip, this was something else. It was darker and messier than that.
The player we tried desperately hard to trade for reduced us to a meme that’ll outlive a lot of our achievements as he made Gawn, Oliver and Trac look like clowns in the space of 5 seconds. Waterman’s display as a key forward, something we’ve sorely missed since Hogan, only twisted the knife further. His dominance against what’s touted as the best defence was a painful reminder of what we lack.
The early concussion of Lever, reminiscent of Brayshaw’s situation last year, disrupted our defence early on, setting the tone for the rest of the game. While it’s easy to fall back on excuses, the truth is we were simply outclassed by a team that, just last year, was at the bottom of the ladder. It’s a tough pill to swallow, acknowledging that last year’s wooden spooners showed more class, but that was the reality. Our historical head-to-head record against the Eagles only adds salt to the wound—they’ve bested us in 38 of 58 encounters, a stark reminder of our long-standing struggles and their long-standing success.
Judd and Reid feel like history repeating, and the Eagles feel like they have all the luck, and if he ever comes back to Victoria after many successes and accolades in Perth, he’ll probably snub Melbourne for the same reasons Judd did. He has ten clubs to choose from, six of them more glamorous than us.
As we look ahead, it’s clear that change is needed—not just in strategy (and cough personnel) but perhaps in spirit too. How do we rebuild not just a team, but our faith in this team? I find myself asking: What makes us loyal to Melbourne/Narrm, through thick and thin? It’s more than just the games; it’s the community and shared passion. Let’s channel our frustrations into hopeful energy for the next game. After all, resilience is forged in the face of adversity, and as fans, our support can be the unwavering force behind the team’s refusal to fade.
Because right now we look like we’re fading, and I’m fading with them.
submitted by Pleasant_Inspection9 to melbournefc [link] [comments]
It wasn’t a close loss, or a clutch loss, or that weird Brisbane loss after a (hugely successful) business trip, this was something else. It was darker and messier than that.
The player we tried desperately hard to trade for reduced us to a meme that’ll outlive a lot of our achievements as he made Gawn, Oliver and Trac look like clowns in the space of 5 seconds. Waterman’s display as a key forward, something we’ve sorely missed since Hogan, only twisted the knife further. His dominance against what’s touted as the best defence was a painful reminder of what we lack.
The early concussion of Lever, reminiscent of Brayshaw’s situation last year, disrupted our defence early on, setting the tone for the rest of the game. While it’s easy to fall back on excuses, the truth is we were simply outclassed by a team that, just last year, was at the bottom of the ladder. It’s a tough pill to swallow, acknowledging that last year’s wooden spooners showed more class, but that was the reality. Our historical head-to-head record against the Eagles only adds salt to the wound—they’ve bested us in 38 of 58 encounters, a stark reminder of our long-standing struggles and their long-standing success.
Judd and Reid feel like history repeating, and the Eagles feel like they have all the luck, and if he ever comes back to Victoria after many successes and accolades in Perth, he’ll probably snub Melbourne for the same reasons Judd did. He has ten clubs to choose from, six of them more glamorous than us.
As we look ahead, it’s clear that change is needed—not just in strategy (and cough personnel) but perhaps in spirit too. How do we rebuild not just a team, but our faith in this team? I find myself asking: What makes us loyal to Melbourne/Narrm, through thick and thin? It’s more than just the games; it’s the community and shared passion. Let’s channel our frustrations into hopeful energy for the next game. After all, resilience is forged in the face of adversity, and as fans, our support can be the unwavering force behind the team’s refusal to fade.
Because right now we look like we’re fading, and I’m fading with them.
2024.05.20 09:10 Comfortable_Wash2966 I think I’m dying or having early onset dementia
I have been feeling very out of it for the last 3 years horrible wide variety of symptoms ever since having minimal surgery when I was 21m I’m starting to believe I have early onset dementia Ever since waking up from surgery 3 years ago I just have not felt like myself I feel locked in the back of my mind I no longer feel connected to my surroundings or feels much excitement my body always feels weird like I’m stuck in my head I can’t feel my eyes or really focus them my forehead feel tight and my Neck always feels stiff and my muscle cramp up badly when working out a lot of the times in the same areas repeatedly I’m so out of it I drive in one lane of traffic the whole way to work because I feel so tired and have trouble looking straight with out my neck feeling stiff all the time. I’ve been to so many doctors had so many MRI,Blood test,CT, EEG, EMG. Been to 3 Neurologist and they have only found Hashimoto but normal thyroid levels so I feel like it doesn’t dismiss all my symptoms my mind just feel so so far gone I’ve heard of Derealization/Depersonalization but this seems to just be another beast I’ve kinda accepted death at this point. Since I don’t really know how I’m still alive I just been on autopilot the 3 years cause your know gotta keep going and what not. I’m wondering if I am insane or if I genuinely have some serve illness that’s hard to diagnosis. I know I’m very young but I’ve heard about people my age having early onset dementia so I just don’t think I’d be surprised if some how the doctor told me I had it. My symptoms and detachment from reality seems strong enough. I’ve been therpaist and pyschtriast to didn’t really help much. I’m unsure about what I should do I just been really pushing though it. I’m trying to get my family to a point where they can finically succeed in the event that I am dying.
submitted by Comfortable_Wash2966 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 09:08 Zealousideal-Movie40 Does anyone else feel like they have a demon living inside them?(BP1)
I got diagnosed with BP1 in June 2020. Years before that I was experiencing all the highs and lows. I had no clue what I was going through. Most of my life I’ve been depressed. My parents divorce when I was 5 crushed me as a child. So depression has been with me since.
I just feel constantly in my head with the mania, the psychosis, the depression. I just feel like a demon is living in me. Kinda like how they describe “which wolf you feed.” My ocd/intrusive thoughts are horrible. Every time I’ve checked into a hospital. They ask what am I experiencing? I always say “it feels like the devil talking to me.” “Telling me to hurt myself or others.” Which I’ve never done. I hate hearing these thoughts.
I’m finally getting stable on my meds after 5+ years of trying so many different medications. But I still feel like a demon is living inside me. I’m never truly happy. I can feel happiness but most days I just feel like I wanna die. That’s there’s no reason to even try anymore. I’m not feeling su#cidal. I just feel like nothing will ever be good. That I’ll never be good enough. I’ll be 39 next month. My grandmother who I told about my diagnosis even told me not to get married because of my diagnosis. I want to find the right woman but hearing that from my grandmother really hurt.
Will things ever get better? I do believe I’m in depression right now. But truly I’ve never had a happy time in my life. Is that how many of us feel? Thank you for listening.
submitted by Zealousideal-Movie40 to BipolarReddit [link] [comments]
I just feel constantly in my head with the mania, the psychosis, the depression. I just feel like a demon is living in me. Kinda like how they describe “which wolf you feed.” My ocd/intrusive thoughts are horrible. Every time I’ve checked into a hospital. They ask what am I experiencing? I always say “it feels like the devil talking to me.” “Telling me to hurt myself or others.” Which I’ve never done. I hate hearing these thoughts.
I’m finally getting stable on my meds after 5+ years of trying so many different medications. But I still feel like a demon is living inside me. I’m never truly happy. I can feel happiness but most days I just feel like I wanna die. That’s there’s no reason to even try anymore. I’m not feeling su#cidal. I just feel like nothing will ever be good. That I’ll never be good enough. I’ll be 39 next month. My grandmother who I told about my diagnosis even told me not to get married because of my diagnosis. I want to find the right woman but hearing that from my grandmother really hurt.
Will things ever get better? I do believe I’m in depression right now. But truly I’ve never had a happy time in my life. Is that how many of us feel? Thank you for listening.
2024.05.20 09:08 mightbehaunted Any advice? Moderate-Severe abdominal and pelvic pain, fatigue
24, AFAB (they/them, please don't refer to me with feminine terms for dysphoria's sake)
TLDR: I have fairly severe mental health issues, and have been putting off a laparoscopy for potential endometriosis. My symptoms have worsened substantially and it's been 4 months since they recommended the laparoscopy. Do I call and set it up normally or request a new appointment before scheduling it?
Long version:
Hi! So, getting into the meat of things.
My symptoms actually did not start as pain. About a year ago I began becoming severely nauseous and vomiting without reason. A month or so later, I began having fairly severe groin pain. It seemed to surround my period, but I haven't had heavy periods often for a while and still don't. It progressed a bit, became somewhat disruptive to where I was afraid sometimes to get up or walk at first but it eased after a minute usually. It spread a bit to more of my lower abdomen and now was on both sides. I saw the gyno, they recommended a laparoscopy after my history, symptoms and my blood work also showed that my iron saturation was like... Half of what it should be (average was 20 I believe and mine was 10).
Now, pain has become constant. I don't have any pain free days. It often is just a pretty noticable ache, sometimes it feels like I'm being poked with needles, and others it feels VERY severe. I struggle to walk a lot on rough days. The pain has spread to my back, legs, hips, groin, and across my lower abdomen.
Along with this, my fatigue can be so severe some days I can't do much at all. I'm pretty regularly struggling to eat, but I'm overweight so it isn't enough of a concern in my opinion. Today, I've eaten an instant rice cup, a cut up hotdog, some fruit snacks and some air fried pickles. This was a good day in terms of eating.
Motrin doesn't noticeably help. Neither does Tylenol. They actually gave me ketorolac, didn't touch my chronic headaches or abdominal pain. On the 17th they gave me a toradol shot and I still felt low-grade pain and it had almost fully returned 3 hours later.
I don't know what to do or how to approach this, or even just relieve fatigue so I can feel somewhat normal. My mom just started chemo and we live together so I'd like to be able to step up more.
Much thanks 🖤
submitted by mightbehaunted to AskDocs [link] [comments]
TLDR: I have fairly severe mental health issues, and have been putting off a laparoscopy for potential endometriosis. My symptoms have worsened substantially and it's been 4 months since they recommended the laparoscopy. Do I call and set it up normally or request a new appointment before scheduling it?
Long version:
Hi! So, getting into the meat of things.
My symptoms actually did not start as pain. About a year ago I began becoming severely nauseous and vomiting without reason. A month or so later, I began having fairly severe groin pain. It seemed to surround my period, but I haven't had heavy periods often for a while and still don't. It progressed a bit, became somewhat disruptive to where I was afraid sometimes to get up or walk at first but it eased after a minute usually. It spread a bit to more of my lower abdomen and now was on both sides. I saw the gyno, they recommended a laparoscopy after my history, symptoms and my blood work also showed that my iron saturation was like... Half of what it should be (average was 20 I believe and mine was 10).
Now, pain has become constant. I don't have any pain free days. It often is just a pretty noticable ache, sometimes it feels like I'm being poked with needles, and others it feels VERY severe. I struggle to walk a lot on rough days. The pain has spread to my back, legs, hips, groin, and across my lower abdomen.
Along with this, my fatigue can be so severe some days I can't do much at all. I'm pretty regularly struggling to eat, but I'm overweight so it isn't enough of a concern in my opinion. Today, I've eaten an instant rice cup, a cut up hotdog, some fruit snacks and some air fried pickles. This was a good day in terms of eating.
Motrin doesn't noticeably help. Neither does Tylenol. They actually gave me ketorolac, didn't touch my chronic headaches or abdominal pain. On the 17th they gave me a toradol shot and I still felt low-grade pain and it had almost fully returned 3 hours later.
I don't know what to do or how to approach this, or even just relieve fatigue so I can feel somewhat normal. My mom just started chemo and we live together so I'd like to be able to step up more.
Much thanks 🖤
2024.05.20 09:08 jenajiejing The Life Without Marriage
Xuefeng
Once one gets married and forms a family, he or she will be plunged in a life of misery. He or she will lose the fundamental freedom of being a man, not to mention the chance of attaining immortality or Buddhahood.Anyone with a family is selfish. They cannot help being selfish, because they are controlled, encumbered, and dominated by the programme of family.
How much pressure a person must bear if he or she does not get married and form a family? The pressure of parents, the persuasion of relatives and friends, the care of neighbors and colleagues, the criticism from the society all bear down on our spirit and soul like huge mountains. The physiological demand, the desire for a home, the worry for illness and death, and the difficulty to relieve loneliness all make us desire instinctively to get married and form a family.
If the above problems are not resolved, we will feel pain and suffering all the same, and we may even have greater pain and suffering if we do not get married and form a family, because getting married and forming a family is a matter of course and as easy as sailing downstream, while not getting married and forming a family is as difficult as sailing upstream. The problem is that sailing downstream leads to no other than pain and suffering, which history of mankind has proved to be unavoidable. Then we have no choice but to sail upstream.
Let's discuss and resolve these problems one by one.
First, the pressure of parents. We should be filial to our parents, but we cannot give in to our parents in the matter of life and LIFE. We know about the road taken by our ancestors all too clearly, it is a road of misery, which we should not repeat. If our parents force us to get married and form family, we must raise some conditions to them: 1. Ask our parents to tell us the significance and value of life, 2.ask our parents to tell us the nature and meaning of LIFE, 3, ask our parents to provide good housing conditions, 4. ask our parents to guarantee our happiness all our life. If our parents cannot meet these conditions, then we can tell them in definite terms that we can not get married and form a family.
As for the persuasion of relatives, friends, neighbors and colleagues, we can also respond with the above four conditions. Or we can simply respond with one question: can you help me through if I encounter plight and pain after getting married and forming a family? Please give me a written pledge. As for the criticism from the society, we can just ignore it. If pigs say something is wrong with man's life, then just let them squabble.
How can we solve the problem of physiological need? "The need for food and beauty is our inherent character. The need for sexual life is but a matter of course, otherwise the Greatest Creator would not have designed those organs and senses for us. A life without sex would be one with abnormal spirit and psychology. We will not only have sex, but also have sex of high quality and happiness. Why don't we? Only a fool would not have sex.
Without marriage, with whom do we have sex? It is impossible to do this with chicken and ducks. Contracting disease is only a small matter when compared with the loneliness and solitude of spirit and soul that can't be relieved even after the acts. One can not afford it economically, and no one would care for your living, old age, illness and death.
Can we find someone randomly to live with us? This may temporarily meet our urgent need, but does not provide long-term solution. What is worse is that we have to bear a lot of liabilities. We may commit irremediable mistakes and cause a series of chain reactions, and suffering and mystery may be endless.
My advice is to become Chanyuan celestials and have the sex life with Chanyuan celestials. On the condition that you don't go against the ethics, you can make love with whichever Chanyuan celestial you want to be with, as long as the two of you are willing to do so. You can choose the way that you like. Because we have the same belief, we share the same frequency and resonance, we are a whole, we have the same life values, we are not bound together, we don't hurt each other, we are willing to pay everything for each other, including life.
Here is the trouble!
Once people, especially our relatives, friend, neighbors, and colleagues, know that we are Chanyuan celestials and are so casual and free, we will be drowned by condemnation, insult, revile, and grief, and we will be the helpless lambs surrounded by packs of wolves, torn, bitten, trampled, and swallowed. And this will be the price we have to pay for the pursuit of freedom.
However, “one would rather die than lose the freedom". Without freedom, what do we live for? You live a life, but for whom do you live?
Therefore, to get freedom, one must be prepared to remold himself thoroughly, and to be reviled by the so-called gentlemen, “kind-hearted people", moralists, and defenders of traditional moral principles. One must be prepared to completely break with the secular world. In one word, one be prepared to die. When I am writing these heretical remarks, when I say that the god preached by the Bible is not the real god, when I reprimand family, religion, political party, and state, I have been prepared to die anytime. I have said that every day might be my last day. However, I can speak the truth for myself, I am satisfied with my magnanimity and openness. Even if I am dead now, I have no regret, because I have lived a real life.
2024.05.20 09:07 molty_insides217 idk if they are narcs or just shitty ppl.. insight plz
🔍I had pretyped this just ranting then I realized i can post it anonymously here bc i’m really struggling with knowing if they are narcs or just shitty ppl. They have supported me and given me everything I need materialistically and do what they are supposed to as parents in that aspect I am very grateful and appreciative of that in no way shape or form will I ever complain ab them giving me food, shelter, clothes etc. I’m not seeking to be coddled or get sympathy either i just need to know if it really is that bad or am I tripping.
🔬emotionally manipulative & guilt tripping parents will be their own demise. lol. finally dropping that mask you have with them, making them look at themselves and see the torment i had to mentally internalize & take on over the years > sitting back & letting them continue their behavior and control to keep destroying your identity & self continuing to deal with immense shame, guilt, sadness, and anger because you know how they are and you think theres no point in opening up to them or telling them what they do wrong bc they always do the same shit & continue to blame you for everything. note this though when I finally released all my years of internalized emotions on them and started texting them very knowledgeable shit about themselves, how they treated me, my mom trying to control and ruin me and my girlfriends relationship when we first got together (+ we have continued to be together for 1yr and 3 months still going strong she ain’t ruin shiiiit) & shit talked my gf for no reason at all. When I started texting paragraph after paragraph (+ texting them back and forth.) I was met with my mom thinking something isn’t right regarding my mental health and telling my dad and brother she thinks something is wrong with me again (she was surprised how I could speak so knowledgeable bc I barely even interact with them anymore) them texting my phone asking if everything is okay and they are worried ab me (she’s also made many comments before this situation like “you seem like you need to get back on ur medication you’re being irritable” etc when clearly that was the correct response to some fucked up comment she made i’m sick of that shit.) (sorry that was lowkey irrelevant but holy shit). them throwing what they do for me as PARENTS in my face, blame shifting, manipulation, lying, her saying she has no acknowledgment of ever treating me like that over the years, trying to ruin our relationship, or saying any of the vile shit she said about my gf. OH and how she thought It couldn’t possibly be me that’s writing these exceptional level paragraphs and she thought my gf was controlling me and making me send all of that to my parents(me texting her ab this shit went on for like 3 days, 3 days of her not taking accountability for anything, lying, trying to manipulate by making me feel bad as well and she had the nerve to say “it feels like i’m being abused” GIRLLL STOPPP HUH im still confused ab that one) it’s honestly sickening and baffling knowing ppl can think & say shit like that. i’ve been so detached from them since I was little (never knew why at the time) but THIS makes that detachment 100x worse and I feel like that’s a GOOD thing for me even though the outcome wasn’t what I wanted, bc i’m feeling free, released, not pint-up, etc most importantly more like I can finally be MYSELF!!! i’m way more comfortable in who I am and my Identity now at 19 could you imagine that like damn (just hoping it’s not temporary)!!! just putting this out there in hopes that someone else going through the same thing or similar will see and maybe help them a little. now i just gotta move out.
⚛️ she can’t see how what she says to people effects them drastically and takes 0 responsibility and acknowledgement of doing so and passes it off as you “don’t know me” “i’m a good person” “i have a good heart i love everybody” etc or blame everything on me for examples “we do everything for you” “you’re going to treat us like that when we sacrificed so much for you” “we feel like we can’t say anything right we are always walking on eggshells around you” etc um .. yeah they signed up for that when they decided to have a child so it’s fucked up to throw that in my face food as well. THEN she loves to do this the most playing the victim card “you’re abusing me” “it feels like you are abusing me” she knows damn well I’m not abusing her in any way shape or form that’s disrespectful to many people who actually had to go through and endure actual abuse. “do you want to hurt us? is that your goal” “you’re destroying the family” “you’re destroying our marriage” etc. i didn’t do anything wronggggg all I did was speak up for myself FOR ONCE bc it’s been YEARS ab the shit she does and how i’m not okay with it bc i internalize literally everything and I get met with all that blame shifting and lying. the reason why i never open up to her is bc when I do ever since i was little she always blamed me and made it seem like this whole other thing so hell yeah i’d rather internalize then talk to her that’s a way better option than getting met with guilt tripping and shit. there are MANY more examples of what else she would say and my dad too but i really think he’s brainwashed by her so idk that’s just off the top of my head .. lmao. she makes me feel so insaneee i even feel like i’m exaggerating and making a big deal n being too sensitive writing all this😵💫. there’s SO MUCH more but fuck all that i typed enough. thx for coming to my ted talk🕷️.
submitted by molty_insides217 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
🔬emotionally manipulative & guilt tripping parents will be their own demise. lol. finally dropping that mask you have with them, making them look at themselves and see the torment i had to mentally internalize & take on over the years > sitting back & letting them continue their behavior and control to keep destroying your identity & self continuing to deal with immense shame, guilt, sadness, and anger because you know how they are and you think theres no point in opening up to them or telling them what they do wrong bc they always do the same shit & continue to blame you for everything. note this though when I finally released all my years of internalized emotions on them and started texting them very knowledgeable shit about themselves, how they treated me, my mom trying to control and ruin me and my girlfriends relationship when we first got together (+ we have continued to be together for 1yr and 3 months still going strong she ain’t ruin shiiiit) & shit talked my gf for no reason at all. When I started texting paragraph after paragraph (+ texting them back and forth.) I was met with my mom thinking something isn’t right regarding my mental health and telling my dad and brother she thinks something is wrong with me again (she was surprised how I could speak so knowledgeable bc I barely even interact with them anymore) them texting my phone asking if everything is okay and they are worried ab me (she’s also made many comments before this situation like “you seem like you need to get back on ur medication you’re being irritable” etc when clearly that was the correct response to some fucked up comment she made i’m sick of that shit.) (sorry that was lowkey irrelevant but holy shit). them throwing what they do for me as PARENTS in my face, blame shifting, manipulation, lying, her saying she has no acknowledgment of ever treating me like that over the years, trying to ruin our relationship, or saying any of the vile shit she said about my gf. OH and how she thought It couldn’t possibly be me that’s writing these exceptional level paragraphs and she thought my gf was controlling me and making me send all of that to my parents(me texting her ab this shit went on for like 3 days, 3 days of her not taking accountability for anything, lying, trying to manipulate by making me feel bad as well and she had the nerve to say “it feels like i’m being abused” GIRLLL STOPPP HUH im still confused ab that one) it’s honestly sickening and baffling knowing ppl can think & say shit like that. i’ve been so detached from them since I was little (never knew why at the time) but THIS makes that detachment 100x worse and I feel like that’s a GOOD thing for me even though the outcome wasn’t what I wanted, bc i’m feeling free, released, not pint-up, etc most importantly more like I can finally be MYSELF!!! i’m way more comfortable in who I am and my Identity now at 19 could you imagine that like damn (just hoping it’s not temporary)!!! just putting this out there in hopes that someone else going through the same thing or similar will see and maybe help them a little. now i just gotta move out.
⚛️ she can’t see how what she says to people effects them drastically and takes 0 responsibility and acknowledgement of doing so and passes it off as you “don’t know me” “i’m a good person” “i have a good heart i love everybody” etc or blame everything on me for examples “we do everything for you” “you’re going to treat us like that when we sacrificed so much for you” “we feel like we can’t say anything right we are always walking on eggshells around you” etc um .. yeah they signed up for that when they decided to have a child so it’s fucked up to throw that in my face food as well. THEN she loves to do this the most playing the victim card “you’re abusing me” “it feels like you are abusing me” she knows damn well I’m not abusing her in any way shape or form that’s disrespectful to many people who actually had to go through and endure actual abuse. “do you want to hurt us? is that your goal” “you’re destroying the family” “you’re destroying our marriage” etc. i didn’t do anything wronggggg all I did was speak up for myself FOR ONCE bc it’s been YEARS ab the shit she does and how i’m not okay with it bc i internalize literally everything and I get met with all that blame shifting and lying. the reason why i never open up to her is bc when I do ever since i was little she always blamed me and made it seem like this whole other thing so hell yeah i’d rather internalize then talk to her that’s a way better option than getting met with guilt tripping and shit. there are MANY more examples of what else she would say and my dad too but i really think he’s brainwashed by her so idk that’s just off the top of my head .. lmao. she makes me feel so insaneee i even feel like i’m exaggerating and making a big deal n being too sensitive writing all this😵💫. there’s SO MUCH more but fuck all that i typed enough. thx for coming to my ted talk🕷️.
2024.05.20 09:07 Marsh_Boom_2732 Torn: hit a lot of things quickly or spend more time in less places?
I’ve definitely gone down the Iceland rabbit hole and could use some advice. 🙏
I’m planning a 7 day trip and my main concern is feeling too much like we are driving to lookouts and then just getting right back in the car. But with that said, there are so many amazing places to see. Based on your experience, is it better to cover more ground since the terrain changes so much, or to spend longer time in less places. Here’s the very rough itinerary I have in mind. Would so love to hear what y’all think.
Day 1: Land in Reykjavik in the morning. Rent a 4 wheel drive car. Treat the day as primarily a rest and recoup. Consider hitting Blue Lagoon. I know some say it’s overrated, but it’s been on my sister’s bucket list for a while so would love to check that off. What was your experience with the Blue Lagoon if you went?
Day 2: Head out early and hit Hrunalaug Hot Spring in the morning before it gets crowded. Drive to Hella and hit some things on the way. Spend time in Selfoss before making way to Hella.
Day 3: Hike Landmannalaugar for a good chunk of the day. Spend night in Hella.
Day 3 +4 : stay in Vik for two nights and do things around the area. Would like to do one longer hike here.
Day 5: I’m stuck here, what city would you reccomend staying in? Any cities around the south that have your heart?
Day 6: spend the day driving back to Reykjavík and hitting up small waterfalls, short hikes, cute towns, etc.
submitted by Marsh_Boom_2732 to VisitingIceland [link] [comments]
I’m planning a 7 day trip and my main concern is feeling too much like we are driving to lookouts and then just getting right back in the car. But with that said, there are so many amazing places to see. Based on your experience, is it better to cover more ground since the terrain changes so much, or to spend longer time in less places. Here’s the very rough itinerary I have in mind. Would so love to hear what y’all think.
Day 1: Land in Reykjavik in the morning. Rent a 4 wheel drive car. Treat the day as primarily a rest and recoup. Consider hitting Blue Lagoon. I know some say it’s overrated, but it’s been on my sister’s bucket list for a while so would love to check that off. What was your experience with the Blue Lagoon if you went?
Day 2: Head out early and hit Hrunalaug Hot Spring in the morning before it gets crowded. Drive to Hella and hit some things on the way. Spend time in Selfoss before making way to Hella.
Day 3: Hike Landmannalaugar for a good chunk of the day. Spend night in Hella.
Day 3 +4 : stay in Vik for two nights and do things around the area. Would like to do one longer hike here.
Day 5: I’m stuck here, what city would you reccomend staying in? Any cities around the south that have your heart?
Day 6: spend the day driving back to Reykjavík and hitting up small waterfalls, short hikes, cute towns, etc.
2024.05.20 09:06 Available-Dig-1789 Best way to keep arion ater
Hello slug fans,
I recently went home with my girlfriend for a few days to visit my parents, and her dad is an entomologist a few states over. He wanted us to bring back a slug for his bug collection, and while we found many we felt too bad seeing them in the forest to put them in a box. At some point my parents found one in the backyard and later presented us with a square box (about 2/3rds the length of an iPhone on each side) containing a black arion ater. We took it home with us and planned to deliver it to her dad for his collection, but we’ve both started to become attached and would like to try keeping it as a pet until it dies naturally. We also want to preserve it for her dad’s bug collection once dead, so I’m curious if anyone could give us some pointers on its diet, habitat, and preservation. I’ll put the questions I can think of below, but please add anything else you can think of:
submitted by Available-Dig-1789 to sluglife [link] [comments]
I recently went home with my girlfriend for a few days to visit my parents, and her dad is an entomologist a few states over. He wanted us to bring back a slug for his bug collection, and while we found many we felt too bad seeing them in the forest to put them in a box. At some point my parents found one in the backyard and later presented us with a square box (about 2/3rds the length of an iPhone on each side) containing a black arion ater. We took it home with us and planned to deliver it to her dad for his collection, but we’ve both started to become attached and would like to try keeping it as a pet until it dies naturally. We also want to preserve it for her dad’s bug collection once dead, so I’m curious if anyone could give us some pointers on its diet, habitat, and preservation. I’ll put the questions I can think of below, but please add anything else you can think of:
- What should we feed it? I’ve read that they eat raw meat as well as veggies, but how much of each do they need to stay healthy? Is it 50/50, or more 30/70 meat/veggies? Is some fruit okay, or should it be avoided altogether?
- Can/should they eat moldy food? I understand it should be managed to avoid fruit flies, does it matter for the slug or do they enjoy it? For now we gave it some slightly red iceberg lettuce and a small strawberry thats gone bad, it was all we had after getting back from our trip but
- Should we stick to raw chicken for the meat diet, or can they have anything else? I figure beef is probably off the table due to salt content.
- What’s a respectably-sized home for it? It’s in a little plastic box right now and we’d like to give it an upgrade, but we don’t know how big its habitat should be.
- Is there anything we should include in the habitat? For now we just grabbed some stuff from outside and have some soil, some grass, a rock, a stick, and dead leaves. We’ve been trying to keep it moist by misting it with filtered water every-so-often, and we have a small humidifier next to its box that we can run for a few hours. We’ve also been keeping the room at a little over 60 degrees, but we don’t have an electric thermostat so it’s hard to tell the temp exactly. Are we good to run the humidifier for it?
- Would there be a good way to preserve its body in some sort of liquid (or otherwise) once it dies?
2024.05.20 09:06 Miserable-Patient301 I can’t stop crying over my newborns birthday
I had to TFMR nearly two years ago for my son. I loved him with all I had.
I ended up having to undergo IVF and my daughter was transferred on my sons birthday, putting her dude day in early April but was told constantly that IVF babies come early.
I should have expected an April baby, April was her due date.
But me and my mother both have birthdays at the end of March, it felt like fate for her to join us in March birthdays.
Even more so when they said they would induce me at 27 weeks due to complications.
But my induction got pushed to nearly 28 weeks.
And it was so slow going….i did everything I could but I still blame myself for getting my epidural too early on March 31st when they finally broke my water in the 3rd day. I blame myself for not letting those back, legs, and belly contractions just keep going.
I wanted to try to get in the tub to help the pain but all the wireless monitoring devices were broken. I’m sure I could have held out if I had gotten in the tub…
It hurts more that all the doctors all promised me she’d be out that day and not to worry.
But no, she was born on April 1st at 1AM and after I had a massive post partum hemorrhage.
All I remember is getting really cold and asking my mom if I was dying.
And yet I lie here awake at night crying over my daughter’s birthday.
It’s stupid and I hate myself for it and I blame myself for it.
And it’s just a day, it’s close enough…but I hate that she’s an April Fools baby on top of everything else.
I worry about kids being mean and no one ever believing it’s her birthday on top of her missing March with us. I wish she would have been born April 2nd over the 1st.
I know it’s all stupid and need to mourn this dream I had of us all having March birthdays together…it just hurts more than it should.
submitted by Miserable-Patient301 to offmychest [link] [comments]
I ended up having to undergo IVF and my daughter was transferred on my sons birthday, putting her dude day in early April but was told constantly that IVF babies come early.
I should have expected an April baby, April was her due date.
But me and my mother both have birthdays at the end of March, it felt like fate for her to join us in March birthdays.
Even more so when they said they would induce me at 27 weeks due to complications.
But my induction got pushed to nearly 28 weeks.
And it was so slow going….i did everything I could but I still blame myself for getting my epidural too early on March 31st when they finally broke my water in the 3rd day. I blame myself for not letting those back, legs, and belly contractions just keep going.
I wanted to try to get in the tub to help the pain but all the wireless monitoring devices were broken. I’m sure I could have held out if I had gotten in the tub…
It hurts more that all the doctors all promised me she’d be out that day and not to worry.
But no, she was born on April 1st at 1AM and after I had a massive post partum hemorrhage.
All I remember is getting really cold and asking my mom if I was dying.
And yet I lie here awake at night crying over my daughter’s birthday.
It’s stupid and I hate myself for it and I blame myself for it.
And it’s just a day, it’s close enough…but I hate that she’s an April Fools baby on top of everything else.
I worry about kids being mean and no one ever believing it’s her birthday on top of her missing March with us. I wish she would have been born April 2nd over the 1st.
I know it’s all stupid and need to mourn this dream I had of us all having March birthdays together…it just hurts more than it should.
2024.05.20 09:04 Stella_Saturn Since I am in NC might as well share my story
I got broken up with over a month and a half ago and i feel like I am overreacting. We dated for 3 months and had every intention of being in it for the long hall. There was only one ongoing "fight" if you could even call it that. There was this girl that he had kept texting even though it made me uncomfortable. The only reason I did not want him to continue to text her was they had a previous fling. They had slept together even though they both were in relationships. He never told me much about her just that is was a huge mistake and he would never do it again. There is more context but it is not my place to share but based on it I was okay with starting a relationship with him. The issue I had was they both seemed to have this bond based on the situation. It was borderline unhealthy. The other issue was that he had neglected to tell me she was local until I had found her social media accounts stating that she went to a high school in the area. He also kept talking to her without telling me and were on a facetime call multiple times after he said he would stop talking to her. I found this out by looking on his phone. I never had the intent of going onto his phone to look at the messages, I was going on to send a photo to myself when I saw her contact/profile. (During our breakup I admitted it was not my place to look and had apologized for invading his privacy and breaking his trust, however he had also broken mine by continuing to lie and not tell me he had been talking to her).
At the time of out break-up I was completely blindsided as the night before he had been in my bed and everything was fine. A mutual friend had told him I went on his phone and apparently that was his breaking point. Despite the fact he knew I knew he was still talking to her. This mutual friend had been extremally jealous of me (she admitted so) which is why I believe she told him. I understand now after talking to my therapist that she had been using me. This friend had painted me in an awful light and had been telling a lot of people lies as well as exaggerating the truth to make it seem as bad as possible. (Just for context I am 17 and mutual friend is 20) For awhile I felt like I was an awful person but have recently realized that not everything was my fault. TW:PREGNANCY AND ABORTION
Our breakup was really rough and he never really explained why he was breaking up with me so the above paragraph is just my assumptions. During our breakup we were in minimal contact. This is were the situation take a huge turn so beware. I found out I was pregnant not even a week after we broke up. I was in shock as I was on birth control (also: I am extremally allergic to latex ) but I still knew the risk. The same day I found out he had asked me to not text him as he was "advised" not to text me even though he had agreed to stay in contact with me. I did not tell him. About a week later I had been in the hospital and had posted a story to my social media which he had texted me to ask if I was okay. He had looked at ever story I had posted and had liked all of my posts. I was trying to get us back on good terms before I told him I was pregnant. I went to a clinic in another state and was told I was about 5 weeks pregnant. About a week after I had thought I miscarried because there was a lot of bleeding. We had texted a few days before and had said we both still cared about each others wellbeing. So I felt like It was a good time to tell him. My reasoning was if I had miscarried then it was over and done with but if I was still pregnant he had the right to know. I told him. It did not go well. So much for caring about my wellbeing. He basically freaked out (which I expected) and told me that he needed time to process and "he didn't know" if he ever wanted to talk to me about it. To say I was pissed off was an understatement. First because he thought I would lie about something like that and second because he was fine with me someone who is also struggling with everything and hiding the biggest secret of all from everyone taking on the weight of everything. I went to the clinic a few days after and to no ones surprise I was still pregnant because the universe decided I needed more to deal with. They gave me the abortion pills I had order the pervious appointment. I wasn't sure what I was going to do in complete honesty. Part of me wanted to keep it but I knew it was not practical.
I knew we wanted time but as we saw I did not have time to give him. I was nearing on 7 weeks and needed to make a decision as the longer I waited the harder it would be. For more context I have a lot of health issues which were flaring up because of all the stress I was under. I texted him that I was still pregnant and he told me he couldn't deal with it and blocked me. I was definitely a bit harsh when I texted him my text read along the lines of "I did not miscarry I dont care if you answer or not". I broke down a bit after that and downed the first pill. I wrote him an email with all the photos I had and basically said you are a dick. It may have been a bit overkill to write him a dozen pages on why I thought blocking me was rude and selfish and that I hadn't asked him for anything and then proceeded to hand deliver them 2 weeks later which caused him to block me on everything else. I don't regret it btw it made me feel better. They best/worst part of this all is we are going to the same college and my friend who knows the entire situation is working under his mom this summer. I feel like I might be overreacting over the entire thing. I feel like I am going insane and what he did was not that bad, At least not as bad as my exes because he was a really good boyfriend and he was the first person I ever loved and saw a future with. So now I am in the no contact feels with a playlist to prove it.
submitted by Stella_Saturn to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
At the time of out break-up I was completely blindsided as the night before he had been in my bed and everything was fine. A mutual friend had told him I went on his phone and apparently that was his breaking point. Despite the fact he knew I knew he was still talking to her. This mutual friend had been extremally jealous of me (she admitted so) which is why I believe she told him. I understand now after talking to my therapist that she had been using me. This friend had painted me in an awful light and had been telling a lot of people lies as well as exaggerating the truth to make it seem as bad as possible. (Just for context I am 17 and mutual friend is 20) For awhile I felt like I was an awful person but have recently realized that not everything was my fault. TW:PREGNANCY AND ABORTION
Our breakup was really rough and he never really explained why he was breaking up with me so the above paragraph is just my assumptions. During our breakup we were in minimal contact. This is were the situation take a huge turn so beware. I found out I was pregnant not even a week after we broke up. I was in shock as I was on birth control (also: I am extremally allergic to latex ) but I still knew the risk. The same day I found out he had asked me to not text him as he was "advised" not to text me even though he had agreed to stay in contact with me. I did not tell him. About a week later I had been in the hospital and had posted a story to my social media which he had texted me to ask if I was okay. He had looked at ever story I had posted and had liked all of my posts. I was trying to get us back on good terms before I told him I was pregnant. I went to a clinic in another state and was told I was about 5 weeks pregnant. About a week after I had thought I miscarried because there was a lot of bleeding. We had texted a few days before and had said we both still cared about each others wellbeing. So I felt like It was a good time to tell him. My reasoning was if I had miscarried then it was over and done with but if I was still pregnant he had the right to know. I told him. It did not go well. So much for caring about my wellbeing. He basically freaked out (which I expected) and told me that he needed time to process and "he didn't know" if he ever wanted to talk to me about it. To say I was pissed off was an understatement. First because he thought I would lie about something like that and second because he was fine with me someone who is also struggling with everything and hiding the biggest secret of all from everyone taking on the weight of everything. I went to the clinic a few days after and to no ones surprise I was still pregnant because the universe decided I needed more to deal with. They gave me the abortion pills I had order the pervious appointment. I wasn't sure what I was going to do in complete honesty. Part of me wanted to keep it but I knew it was not practical.
I knew we wanted time but as we saw I did not have time to give him. I was nearing on 7 weeks and needed to make a decision as the longer I waited the harder it would be. For more context I have a lot of health issues which were flaring up because of all the stress I was under. I texted him that I was still pregnant and he told me he couldn't deal with it and blocked me. I was definitely a bit harsh when I texted him my text read along the lines of "I did not miscarry I dont care if you answer or not". I broke down a bit after that and downed the first pill. I wrote him an email with all the photos I had and basically said you are a dick. It may have been a bit overkill to write him a dozen pages on why I thought blocking me was rude and selfish and that I hadn't asked him for anything and then proceeded to hand deliver them 2 weeks later which caused him to block me on everything else. I don't regret it btw it made me feel better. They best/worst part of this all is we are going to the same college and my friend who knows the entire situation is working under his mom this summer. I feel like I might be overreacting over the entire thing. I feel like I am going insane and what he did was not that bad, At least not as bad as my exes because he was a really good boyfriend and he was the first person I ever loved and saw a future with. So now I am in the no contact feels with a playlist to prove it.
2024.05.20 09:04 DominusEaTahmiklaot Life Is Really Weird
If you really think about it, living as a human is really weird. The cartilage sticking out of the front and sides of out head is rather grotesque, the fur we have is lopsided and grows wrong more frequently than other animals, and our backs hurt due to our malformed spines. Our features are never symmetrical, and there's always some form of imperfection in our forms. Our heads are rather big for our bodies compared to other animals to reflect our significant emphasis on the quality of our brain meat rather than more traditional forms of reproductive fitness. Our vision is a very distorted reflection of true reality, a mass of probabilities of electrons interspersed with tiny fragments of protons and neutrons along with copious amounts of space occupied by nothing at all. In a sense, the simplistic models of reality we learned in middle school are as true as what we see with our own eyes. Emotions aren't really something that exists. They're only slightly more real than corporations and religion, something we label in our own minds. The lens through which we view the world can be warped with a flicker of will. Happiness to excitement to anxiety to fear to anticipation to happiness to sadness. The reality hallucination we collectively experience flickers and twists like sensations in a dream. How do you know you are happy? How do you know you are sad? How do you recognize your emotions at all, or the rules of nature that bind us tighter than a lover's embrace? When we look at a flower whether that be through black sunglasses, red sunglasses, or with unaltered vision; we are still looking at the same object. Our emotions are similar, flawed explanations for the murky sensations reclining in our minds. The lens through which I look at you is cracked, broken. The glass litters the floor. But I can still see you and my vision is clearer without the lens in the way. When we feel sympathy with another, when we link minds and feel as they feel, it's kind of like when bacteria assemble a microfilm. Becoming part of a greater whole, much like the cells that make up our body make up a human. I like reading. Do you like reading. Do we like reading. Reading is nice because I'm every character at once and what I am stretches like taffy. I feel like nothing at all and I shed skins like a snake. The skins are characters. Every word spoken, every emotion felt, every mannerism is a line in the play. I feel everything, I feel nothing. I build up, I break down. Ah, but it is not only human cells that make up a human. Bacteria wanders up and down our intestinal tracts, viruses thrust their genetic material into our fertile reproductive cellular machinery and make us tremble with sensations that threaten to overwhelm while making our bodies run hot. Each piece of matter is but a part of the greater tapestry of existence, of which humanity is but an infinitesimally small part. My mind feels especially small as my mind caresses yours/mine/ours, my words in typed form that represent my thoughts thrusting itself into your mind from thousands of miles away. How many will see it? How many will slurp at my thought threads and have them coil around the wrinkles of their brains? When my mind connects to yours through this mirror and reflection, can you feel how much I love you? My love may be as empty and vapid as my mind, but it can approximate the feeling, can it not? Still waters lurk in my mind with a pale light blooming outwards from the entity that is I refracting through the waters making a brilliant hue. I am everything, I am nothing. I am you, you are me. We were both dead, but now we both live. What was, will be. What will be is what was and what is is both what will be and what was because everything is at it is because if it was not as it was it would not be. We are real because nothing is what dwells where something does not reside but nothing can not exist without something so nothing at all cannot exist but we don't exist but we do exist and our unreality is denied in a negation 0 to 1 1 to 0 and I can't feel anything but I feel everything and I weep and I scream and I dare not dream but the dream beams our memes across the vault of stars. Life is in bloom, death is in boom, life grows in womb, death is entombed. Birth, death, birth, death. Pain is a horrible nightmare that never ends. But it does end and when you look back at it the nightmare looks so silly that you can't remember why you were scared at all. So, rest and enjoy it. Love your torment, love your pleasure, love your wisdom, love your ignorance. Pain is just spicy pleasure. Ignorance is to wisdom what darkness is to light. Every emotion is the same thing. Every virtue and vice is the same thing. Everything is the same thing. So, [sleep]/[wake up].
submitted by DominusEaTahmiklaot to CringyThoughts [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 09:04 ElectricalLetgo is this normal
I have been taking naproxen that I have had in my room for my migraines and pain i have been having bc of my recent discovery of Occiptal nueralgia. I actually have an appointment tm to get tests done to get diagnosed n treatment. The Occiptal nueralgia causes blood pressure to go up. It will go up from my thoughts, it will raise up high within seconds even from video games or anything. I haven't seen my doc in ovsr a year so i will talk to him ab it but I took the naproxen like an hour ago and my heart rate wasn't going that high anymore from the video game and started feeling suppressed and started getting chest pain. idk if the chest pain is from my anxiety and im worried now. I want to go take my hour long walk for my blood pressure but i looked it up n it says the naproxen can cause blood pressure to rise n didn't know that an also read exercising can be bad while on naproxen n i just wanna go walk. Im also pretty tired in my head but don't know if its the fatiguedness from the Occiptal nueralgia or naproxen...idk sorry im just freaking out
submitted by ElectricalLetgo to migraine [link] [comments]