Gay male tubes

Maybe it’s because I didn’t have many gay male or trans figures in my life growing up (definitely a good number of lesbians tho) but I had a lingering anxiety of what I’d look like as I aged. The anxiety was in my 20s when I was still a cis woman (am a trans masc now). But now that I’m taking better care of my body and lifestyle, I honestly feel like I look way better now than I did 10 year ago. I look back at that time period like I do year books, going, ‘aww look at that chubby cheeked little egg.’ My energy levels are better too now that I changed my diet and exercise habits too. I’m also going out more to community events (queer and other types).
I guess I’m a late bloomer but better late than never.
Of course I still have the lingering dread of mortality but I feel less anxious about it now. I’m even looking forward to what I’ll look like in my 50s, 60s, and so on.
How does everyone else here feel about aging and maturing?

Funny how some men are triggered pag may babaeng mas nakakaangat sa kanila, they'd be the biggest hater. Takot malamangan? O takot ka na kung ano ang iisipin ng ibang tao about sayo kasi di kana mukhang alpha male? Kasi kinaya ng babae tapos ikaw hindi? Funny how some men will be the greatest homophobic shi dahil diring diri silang makakita ng bading, if "bading/kabadingan" stands for weakness, kayo yun. Why? Imagine bottling up all your emotions and your soft side, kahit makaiyak di mo magawa kasi natatakot ka na pagtatawanan ka ng mga kaibigan mong kapwa mo homophobic, takot na takot kang ilabas ang soft side mo kasi magmumukha kang "bading", well totoo, IKAW ANG BADING!!! Also when someone says "mas better pa sainyo ang mga bading" ang una nilang response ay manghahamon ng suntukan, lol ang sukatan ba ng pagiging better ay palakasan? Really? That's all you can offer? Nugagawen kung malakas ka manapak? How about diskarte sa buhay? I have a lot of gay friends at wala akong kilalang hindi madiskarte sa buhay. And patalinuhan? May maaambag ka ba? How about pagdating sa emotional stuffs? Syempre palpak kayo dyan, puro kayo dada ng pagkalalake niyong toxic naman. Also pag may nakita silang lalakeng malinis sa katawan, marunong pumorma, may good hygiene, marunong mag ayos sa sarili, matic bading agad. Lol, men with good hygiene are better than boys na gusto yung mga babae na sobrang pretty at malinis sa katawan and expecting the girl to accept them for they are, pano ka tatanggapin eh dugyot ka tapos magrarant ka na walang pumipili sa tulad mo. And yes, gay men know how to keep themselves clean all the time kaya ang gwapo nila, unlike you na anlakas lakas na ng putok di mo man lang mapansin, lolz.
Anyw HAPPY PRIDE MONTH🏳️‍🌈 congrats sa mga nakalabas na sa closet!!!

The second half of a long chapter.
“Oh, professor page,” I heard Anna yell from the living room, “You better get your ass out here quick.”
I quickly rinsed off my hands scurried into the living room, greeted by the two couples sprawled out on the sectional couch in their swimwear, Anna and Kelly in string bikinis and Archer and Paul in speedos. My cock was never limp that day, but there were moments – typically, those of the most intense humiliation – when it was harder than others. Seeing the four fit young bodies in all (or at least, most of) their glory was one of them. And while my gaze naturally was first drawn to Anna’s toned, long legs and taut midriff, followed by Kelly shorter, but still attractive legs and pretty toes, I would be lying if I didn’t admit to admiration of the slender, muscular swimmer bodies of the two young men as well.
My eyes also drifted over Paul’s bare feet. It was the first time I had seen bare the feet I had kissed in the bar through his sneakers or in the apartment through his thick wool socks. I was curious, naturally, but didn’t want to be too obvious, so quickly averted my glance before getting a good look. I need not have worried, however, as I would be spending a great deal of time up close and personal with his bare feet (and Anna’s) in the months that followed, starting a few minutes later. Paul did not have the same obsession with having his feet worshipped as Luke did, but there is no question that he greatly enjoyed the power trip of having an older authority figure quite literally at his feet.
I must also confess that in addition to dwelling as long as I dared on the breasts of Anna (like Brooke’s, ample but not overly large) and Kelly (slightly larger and, to my mind, less proportional to her shorter frame), my eyes also flittered over the speedo-clad crotches of Paul and Archer. Speedos leave so little to the imagination. While I was mortified when forced to wear a speedo, my inadequacy on full display, these two young athletes were completely at ease. Their muscular, chiseled bodies were one explanation for that; the size of their bulges was another.
“Perhaps the professor page can stop ogling our bodies long enough to get us all another round of drinks,” said Anna.
Kelly said, “I think he’s staring more at the boys’ bodies than he is at ours, Anna. I’m jealous.”
“Most cucks are closet fags, so that’s no surprise,” said Paul.
I wanted to object that I wasn’t gay, closet or otherwise. I wanted to say, “What about you, someone who enjoys humiliating other males, forcing them to dress in feminine clothing, spanking their bare bottoms with your bare hands, perhaps other, more intimate things….What does all of that make you?” But I dared not I was say anything of the kind. Instead I simply confirmed their drink orders and hurried off to make them, checking on my stroganoff. And being honest with myself, while I knew beyond a doubt that I was not homosexual, I did have to admit that I was not immune to the physical attractions of dominant, young alpha males. Did I have this attraction prior to the events of the last seven months when Luke came onto the scene like a cyclone? Probably on some level, yes, but it had been latent. No longer.
When I returned to the living room with a serving tray holding their four cocktails, trying hard not to spill any of them, Paul said, “We know our page boy knows how to clean shoes, but what about other personal duties? Who besides me would like a foot massage?”
“That sounds like an excellent idea, dude. Count me in,” said Archer.
“You two boys go ahead. If he does a good job, Kelly and I may have him massage our feet as well,” said Anna.
“Start with Archer. On your knees, of course, page,” said Paul.
“Yes sir,” I said, kneeling before Archer, and beginning to work on his feet with warmup twists and arch rubs. His feet were somewhat calloused, but well formed.
“Ah, that feels good. He’s actually not too bad at this,” Archer said.
Pointing at my crotch, Kelly said, “Look, his little cock is stiff again. Are you excited to massage my boyfriend’s feet, professor?” As she spoke, she pressed her toes lightly against my cock through my tights. It surprised me that it was Kelly, rather than Anna (or even Paul), to first touch my liberated cock.
“No, Princess Kelly.”
“No? But your little stiffie says otherwise. Are you not being honest with us, professor?” She pressed a little harder with her foot, smiling wickedly.
In truth, the entire situation was incredibly arousing and, therefore, incredibly humiliating. Which made it still more arousing. It was a viscous cycle, one which I had been getting increasingly used to with Luke and Brooke. But the dynamics with my students and Archer were different, and, if anything, more intense. Was it the greater age disparity, the bigger inversion of authority, the fact that there was an element of coercion involved? All of the above? Brooke would tell me that I think about these things too much. She would counsel me to go with flow, enjoy the game, embrace the sheer eroticism of it all. I tried valiantly to do just that. Can one be valiant in accepting servitude and abuse?, I wondered (see how I over analyze everything?!)
Lancelot would no doubt have answered my question in the affirmative. Yet, his servitude was solely to Guinevere, and the abuse and humiliations he suffered were solely to satisfy her commands, her whims. Whereas Brooke was not even aware of my servitude to my students. Still, I could tell myself – with some degree of honesty – that the indignities I was suffering at their hands were because of my devotion to Brooke. Because I was in their power as a direct consequence of my obedience to Luke, and I was obedient to Luke for Brooke and Brooke alone. The frail heartbeat of chivalry was still detectable (to me, at least). Perhaps the time had come to tell Brooke of my predicament with Paul and Anna? But there was something so shameful about it. Would it diminish me in Brooke’s eyes in some different, profound and irrevocable way? Or would she hug me, perhaps even thank me for my sacrifice, and tell me everything will be okay?
These were the myriad thoughts that ran through my head as I also contemplated my response to Kelly’s fraught question. “No, princess, I mean, it’s all of your feet…,” I answered,lamely.
She snickered. “Well, you are the Liitle Foot Page, so I guess it makes sense that you’re turned on by feet.”
“Pretty much all submissive guys are turned on by feet. Issac is insane for my feet,” said Anna. You will recall that Issac was the young male slave in Paul’s and Anna’s stable.
“Not just submissive men. Cindy loves worshiping your feet too, babe,” Paul said to Anna. If you recall, Cindy (who, like Issac, I had not yet met at that point) was another member of Paul’s and Anna’s stable of slaves, a fellow student at the college whose intense crush on Paul was not reciprocated. Instead, he put her squarely into “ the friendzone,” eventually introducing her to Anna. Cindy was now a submissive servant to both of them, grateful to be part of Paul’s life under any circumstances.
Anna said to Kelly, “I don’t know about you, but I love having my feet pampered and having my toes sucked, and love the sight of submissive creatures groveling at my feet. At the same time, I couldn’t imagine in a million fucking years being the one doing the sucking or groveling. I have no desire to be that close to anyone’s feet.”
“I know exactly what you mean. I wouldn’t even want to kiss Archer if he sucked my toes. Ew, gross,” said Kelly, with a little shudder.
Archer interjected, “Yo’ve got nothing to worry about there, darling. You have pretty feet, but I have zero desire to kiss or lick them.”
“Or course you don’t, you’re not a perv, like the good professor here. Professor pervert, kiss the bottom of the foot you’re massaging. You don’t mind having your feet kissed, do you sweetheart?” Kelly asked Archer.
“No, I have no problem being worshipped. And I’m secure enough in my masculinity that I don’t care if it’s a submissive cuck like this loser doing the worshiping.”
“That’s what I love about you, sweetheart. You’re masculine, dominant AND open minded. That’s like icing on a yummy cake.,” Kelly said, as she started to kiss Archer passionately. “Professor, keep kissing the bottoms of my man’s feet while we make out.”
I kissed the balls of Archer’s feet, trying to avoid the callouses. I wondered: aren’t swimmers more prone to plantar warts, walking around all those bacteria-riddled pools and locker rooms in their bare feet? I knew plantar warts are highly contagious. Could I get warts on my lips or in my mouth? I made a mental note to research this on-line later. From extensive experience with Brooke and Luke, I was well aware of the aphrodisiac effect my submission could have on a couple dominating me. The exact reasons for this still remain something of a mystery to me. Just like you have to be a masochist to understand certain things, I guess you have to be a dominant or a sadist to understand others.
As if reading my thoughts, Anna said, “I think submissives’ brains must be wired differently. They have to be for them to enjoy feet so much. I mean, sometimes after we work out at the gym, Paul and I will rest our feet right on Cindy’s face. Can you imagine? Our sweaty, wet socks covering her nose and mouth. You’d think she’d have some self-respect and tell us to go to hell. Or, at a minimum, that she’d complain about the smell. Not that my feet smell, of course, but Paul’s smell something awful after he’s been working out,” she smiled at him.
“Yeah, right, babe,” Paul replied. He then explained to Kelly and Archer, “Don’t believe anything she says about her feet not smelling. The smell of her foot sweat is overpowering.”
“Bullshit,” Anna said, smiling and hitting him on the shoulder. “But, like I was saying, far from protesting, Cindy actually inhales the smell of our sweat socks and our sweaty feet. She almost looks as if she’s in ecstasy, like she’s smelling perfume or fresh flowers or something. And she even looks happy when she’s licking the toe jam and lint from between my toes. It’s disgusting. But it’s pretty funny watching her. And I like the sensation of her tongue on my toes.”
“It’s what I’ve been telling you for awhile now, babe. Submissives are intellectually inferior. They’re sexual deviants. By humiliating and abusing them, we’re giving them what they want, what they need, in fact. So there’s no reason for us to feel bad when we mistreat them. We’re actually doing them a favor,” said Paul.
Paul was a Psychology major and fancied himself some sort of authority on this subject apparently, although it was clear to me that he was greatly oversimplifying what were, in reality, very complicated human relationship dynamics. He also had a facile understanding of human intelligence. Under different circumstances, I might have tried to engage him in a debate. But to have done so at that moment would have been the height of folly, so I kept my mouth shut and my fingers busy.
After spending 15 minutes on Archer’s feet, I massaged the feet of my three students for the same amount of time (timed by Paul). Paul and Anna kissed each other while I worked on Anna’s feet, much as Archer and Kelly had done. Each insisted I respectfully kiss the bottoms of their feet after finishing the massage. Paul was last. While I massaged his feet, Anna prodded my balls with her high heel shoe, laughing as my cock twitched through my tights. Having been denied release for so long, my biggest fear was that all of the stimuli – the scantily-clad, young bodies, the humiliating dissection of my fetishes, the pressure of Anna’s foot (which she occasionally brushed against my the underside of my shaft) – would cause me to ejaculate. The thought of that was beyond mortifying, so I did everything I could possibly do to distract myself mentally.
Their ongoing conversation about feet did not make my task an easy one.
“Rollins, you’re actually pretty good at this. In a sensible world, you would be spending your time in your classes massaging all of your students’ feet rather than lecturing to them. It’s a better use of your talents.” There did seem to be a general consensus that I have a knack (was Paul’s term, “talent,” too strong a word) for giving foot massages. I guess there’s at least one thing I can do well with my hands after all, I thought to myself.
“Now, Paul. Don’t be cruel. I’ve had some pretty good courses with Professor Foot Page. I don’t see any reason why he couldn’t lecture while he massages everyone’s feet.” Kelly giggled.
Anna snickered. “Can you picture it? I can. He would be dressed just as he is now, crawling from student to student.”
“Yes, and then he could massage the feet of all of the other faculty members of the English department,” said Kelly, giggling.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t already massaging Neil Lawson’s feet. Lawson already has him fetching his coffee. Or he did today, at least. There’s definitely something going on there,” said Paul.
I couldn’t decide whether to be relieved Paul didn’t know any specifics or to be distressed that he was so suspicious – and that his instincts were correct. I remained silent.
Paul continued, “He obviously has a big foot fetish, like most submissives. Rollins, you ought to consider having a whole chapter dedicated to foot worship in that book you’re working on. You’ll be a real authority on the subject before we’re finished with you.”
Putting aside the implicit threat in his last remark, Paul actually might be on to something, I thought. I had been struggling with the organization of my book, which had really evolved quite a bit over the last six months. While I still aimed to show how medieval courtly poetry was what started the rich history of male masochism in western literature, I was increasingly focusing on contemporary BDSM cuckold fiction and what had clearly been an explosion in interest in that lifestyle in recent years, globally.
Miraculously, I was able to get through the massages and constant teasing without ejaculating. About halfway into my 5-hour stay at the condo, I served the four of them dinner, trying to remember to curtsy at all the required moments. They had changed back into the clothes they were wearing before their swim, Anna and Kelly in short skirts, stockings and heels and Paul and Archer in jeans and polo shirts. Anna kept her little notepad next to her plate on the table, and occasionally wrote in it, causing me further anxiety. When not going back and forth between the kitchen and dining room, I was expected to stand by the table at attention – to refill glasses of the wine I had purchased, fold the napkins of anyone who got up from the table, or do anything else ordered of me. My cock tented out my tights the entire time, of course. My self consciousness about this at least had the advantage of taking my mind off my hunger somewhat, as I enviously watched the four of them eat the meal I had prepared (I sampled the stroganoff as I was cooking it, and thought it came out quite well).
Anna invited everyone to critique the meal afterwards, and it was generally agreed upon that the beef and mushroom sauce was delicious, but that the pasta was overcooked. The salad and dressing was a success, but the Italian green beans less so. I was grateful that Anna had not required me to also prepare dessert.
“Well, Professor maid, it seems that both punishments and a reward are in order for your uneven meal and service. You also earned demerits for failure to curtsy on at least four occasions – I’m sure that I missed others – and continued deficiencies in your technique. Also for how you walked in heels earlier. The mushy pasta and beans were also unacceptable. On the other hand, the stroganoff itself was excellent, as was the salad and dressing. The boys will administer your punishment, and Kelly and I will grant you your reward.”
I replied, with a curtsy, “Yes, princess. Thank you, princess.” The truth of the matter is I didn’t know which of the two caused me greater dread: the punishment or the reward.
“Which should we give him first?”, asked Kelly.
Paul said, “Definitely the punishment first. We need to leave enough time for the redness of his ass to fade in case Luke or his wife want to punish him as well when he gets home.”
“And a submissive freak like him will probably enjoy his reward more with a sore ass. I’ve calculated that he’s owed 120 spanks. 100 from today, and the 20 we didn’t give him on Tuesday that he was due. Which one oy you strapping young men will do the honors?”, said Anna.
“This is going to be so much fun to watch,” said Kelly gleefully.
“It’s going to be hot,” said Anna. “I get all tingly watching Paul punish the slaves. Especially the beta males and sissies.”
“I know you do, girlfriend. Me too,” said Kelly. “I think it’s only fair that each of the boys give him sixty spanks, so you and I get to enjoy this equally,” said Kelly.
“Sounds good. Okay with you guys?,” said Anna.
“Fine. After you,” Paul said to Archer.
“Happy to dish out some discipline to the old cuck. Should we take him up to the dungeon and put him over the bench?”, asked Archer.
“No need to. We have to use our hands for now because we can’t leave any asting marks on his ass. So just take him over your knee,” Paul replied.
“Oh, how I wish we could cane or strap him! I think the cane is a lot more persuasive than just your hands. And the welts can be lovely,” said Anna.
“Someday, babe. You just have to be patient,” said Paul. “Not one of your strong suits, I realize.”
“Don’t worry, ladies. I will make sure his spanking is plenty persuasive. Get over my knees, old man,” commanded Archer.
“Yes, sir.” I draped myself over his knees, incredibly ashamed as I felt my hard cock press through my tights against the jeans covering his firm thighs.
“Do you feel his little stiffie on your leg, honey?,” Kelly asked, tittering.
“I do, but not for long. I’m going to beat it out of him. By the time I’m finished with him, he’ll be as limp as one of the overcooked noodles he served us,” said Archer. I felt his sizable hand resting on the center of my tights-clad bottom. Without warning, he lifted his hand and brought it down sharply on my right cheek.
I typically tried to be stoic in such moments, but the ferocity of his strike (and the suddenness of it) caused me to cry out, “Ouch!” I heard the amusement of our audience.
“That’s right, honey. Give it to him good! Pull down his tights and give it to him on the bare,” said Kelly.
Archer did as Kelly requested. What followed were repeated, loud smacking sounds of flesh striking flesh – as Archer carefully alternated cheeks – accompanied by a slow but steady buildup of pain. The tights had offered negligible protection. The sound was the big difference, but it seemed to provide a more satisfying sensory experience for my three students, who were witnessing the remarkable spectacle of their professor being punished like a naughty child. By the 30th spank or so, the pain was intense. And Archer was correct, my cock had deflated under his relentless assault on my bottom. Not as severe as a cane or strapping certainly, but a hand spanking that rivaled Luke’s in intensity.
I heard Kelly say, “Now that’s what I’m talking about. Look at that shade of red, will you?”
“Not as lovely as welts, but not bad,” added Anna.
By the 50th spank, my attempt at stoicism was a distant memory.
“Please, sir. Please don’t hit me so hard.” He ignored me, delivering the final ten with extra zeal, if anything. When he was finished, it was difficult for my mind to process the fact that my chastisement was only halfway complete.
After Archer pushed me unceremoniously onto the hardwood floor, my tights still lowered to just below my poor, tenderized bottom, Kelly ordered me to stand up. I started to pull up my tights as I stood, but she said with surprising sternness, “Did I say you could pull up your tights, professor? Leave them down so we can all get a proper look at your little cock. Turn around and stand before us. Put your hands on top of your head.”
When I complied with her order, my cock was still quite limp, somewhat shriveled even. But almost as soon as I stood up, I felt it began to stir under their scrutiny.
“Look at the tiny, hairless thing.,” said Anna, smiling contemptuously.
“Pathetic,” said Archer, with a sneer.
“Oh, look. It’s starting to get bigger. That was quick! It must like all of the attention,” laughed Kelly.
With each humiliating comment, it grew harder. My ass was burning, but no longer under a constant barrage (for the moment, at least), the sensation only fueled my involuntary, indeed most unwanted, arousal.
“It looks like it’s up to me beat his hard-on back out of him,” said Paul, patting his knee. “Come over here, Rollins, so I can finish your correction. Leave your tights down. You have 60 more coming.”
As this was unthinkable to me, I felt compelled to try to negotiate – or, perhaps it would be more accurate to say, grovel. When I walked over to where Paul was sitting, rather than lie over his knees, I dropped to my own, at his feet.
“My lord, Sir Archer’s punishment was quite severe. I’m not sure that I can take another 60 right now. I beg you to show some mercy to your lowly page by deferring some of my punishment until next Tuesday.” I then grasped his right foot with my hands and began kissing the tops of his brown, leather shoe. “Please, my lord.”
That Paul was triumphant, bringing me to my knees and abasing myself at his feet – even without being expressly commanded to do so – was clearly evident in his supremely smug, self-satisfied expression. It was painful to behold, but not as painful as another 60 spanks on my already wounded bottom would be. Groveling was a skill that I been refining over the last several months with Luke, so I continued my efforts.
“Please, my lord. Surely you and Princess Anna have some more dry cleaning that needs to be done or some other errands that need to be run. Your humble page is at your disposal.”
“This is a trip,” said Kelly.
“It IS a sign of strength for a ruler to occasionally grant mercy. What do you think, babe?”, said Anna.
“I’m considering it,” said Paul. “Sharing information might help your cause, page. Tell me, what is the story with you bringing Neil Lawson a cup of coffee today? That coffee shop is on the other side of campus. Is that a service that you regularly provide for him? Before you answer, you should know that if I sense you’re not being completely truthful, I’ll add 20 spanks to your punishment now, rather than reduce or defer any of it. If I find out you’re lying after the fact, the consequences for you will be dire.”
To say that I felt somewhat trapped at that moment would be an understatement. I certainly didn’t want to reveal any information to Paul about the nature of my relationship with my colleague, and yet I felt that not doing so was perilous. The slippery slope, again.
So, I continued my descent. “I bring Neil a cup of coffee four days a week, my lord.”
“Why? Are you his lackey or something? You’re senior to him on the faculty, right? Shouldn’t he be the one bringing you coffee, if anything?”
“It’s true that Neil doesn’t have tenure yet but he’s up for tenure in the spring. But it’s not like junior faculty members run errands or anything like that for senior faculty members. It’s just that Neil knows that I’m on a diet and feels that the exercise will do me good. He takes a personal interest in my health and physical fitness, as my friend.”
“Sounds like bullshit to me. I’ve seen Neil lifting weights with Luke at the gym a couple of times. It looks like they’re getting to be pretty chummy.”
“Yes, my lord, they like to work out together. They bond over sports.”
“Interesting. Is Neil aware of your weekly weigh-ins and punishments for failing to lose weight?”, Paul continued his interrogation.
“Yes, my lord,” I answered, deeply ashamed.
“Well, you’ve definitely lost quite a bit of weight, professor. Keep up the good work!”, said Kelly, with seeming sincerity. What a surreal moment this was, I thought to myself.
“Thank you, Princess Kelly.”
“Does Luke allow Neil to witness your weigh-ins and punishments,” Paul asked.
“Yes, my lord. Twice.”
“Keep kissing my shoes when you’re not speaking. Does Luke allow Neil to participate in your punishments?”
“Yes, my lord. Once.” I started kissing the bottom of his right shoe.
Being humiliated and punished by Luke was shameful. Neil’s participation in my punishment and humiliation made it infinitely more so. Being humiliated and punished by my students was incredibly shameful. Them knowing that Neil, another professor in my department, not only was aware of, but even took an active part in my punishment and humiliation was indescribably shameful. It was more than a slippery slope. It was quicksand. And I was sinking deeper by the second.
Paul was not yet done with his interrogation, however. “What other services do you provide for Professor Lawson, besides bringing him coffee?”
I hesitated. But mindful of Paul’s warning (he did seem to have some mysterious ability to intuit and/or discover things about me), I came clean, thereby deepening the pit in which I was sinking: “On Wednesdays, when he has several back-to-back classes, I have started to massage his feet in his office.”
“I knew it! Last week when I walked into his office and you were there, you were acting very nervous. I saw his shoes on the floor next to his desk. There’s not really many reasons to take off your shoes and socks on a freezing day. I had a sneaky suspicion that that’s what was going on. You’re an even bigger beta than I could’ve conceived of, Rollins. Is there anyone you’re not subservient to?”
“Yes, my lord….I mean, prior to 10 months ago…I wasn’t submissive to anyone….except in…my…my, imagination. Everything’s different now…”
“You’re leading a male masochist’s dream! Lick the bottom of my shoe. Do you realize how extraordinarily fortunate you are, old man?”
“Yes, my lord,” I said before reapplying my tongue to the sole of Paul’s shoe.
“This discussion has been very useful. You’ve given me all kinds of ideas about how to further enhance your submissive experience to make it truly exceptional. To make it world class. All the building blocks are already in place. We just need to find a way to integrate them,” Paul said.
“Look how hard his baby cock is! He loves the idea!”, said Anna.
“Now lie down across my lap. The new information I learned just now has caused me to feel magnanimous, so I will grant you mercy by deferring 20 of your spanks until Tuesday and pardoning 10 altogether,” Paul said.
At that exact moment, having my remaining punishment cut in half (at least for that day), I was more grateful about the present reprieve than concerned about any possible future danger that might result from Paul’s increased knowledge. It was only later, during many restless, sleep-deprived nights, that I began to really worry about the possible implications of Paul knowing that I was also submissive to my fellow professor.
“You are very kind, my lord,” I said as his hand came crashing down on the center of my ass. The irony of the moment produced hearty laughter from both Anna and Kelly.
My tights were still lowered, so my erect, bare cock pressed against the denim – a coarser variety than Archer’s – of Paul’s jeans. How much shame could one person endure in a single evening? But it was only 8:30 PM; I still had over an hour left with my young tormentors.
Whereas Archer’s technique was to alternate cheeks, Paul preferred picking one spot and sticking to it for repeated spanks. He focused on the center of my bottom, initially 10 strikes where the crack of my ass began and then moving methodically lower until the final 20 were on the area closest to my scrotum. Unfortunately, Paul hit harder today than on my last visit, no doubt making sure he at least matched the force of Archer in front of the two young women, who were watching with rapt attention. As he delivered the final twenty or so spanks, the pain was searing and I began kicking my legs more and more and squirming around on his lap in a futile attempt to alleviate it, or to escape. On the bright side, my erection quickly subsided under the intensity of his assault.
“Stay still, or I will add the 30 back,” he warned, sternly, grabbing my right arm and holding it tightly behind my back with his free hand.
When he was finally done, he roughly pulled up my tights, producing a wedgie effect, and almost playfully swatted my bottom twice, saying, “You may get up now. Go stand in the corner. Hands behind your head.”
I did as commanded, but Kelly objected, “Why did you pull his tights back up? I want to see what shade of red his ass is now.”
“Lower your tights, page boy,” ordered Anna.
“Yes, princess,” I said, following her command. My eyes were wet with tears, but I was hoping they wouldn’t notice. I wanted to at least deprive them of the satisfaction that they caused me to cry.
“Do I hear sniffling, professor? Did getting spanked by his big, mean student make the poor, wimpy professor cry?”
“No, Princess Kelly.”
“I’m not sure I believe you,” Kelly replied.
“Look at his ass. The color reminds me of raw hamburger meat. Are you sure it will heel quickly enough, babe?”, asked Anna.
“Archer and I hit him hard, but not hard enough for any permanent bruises. The color will fade quickly,” said Paul. “Sort of like a sunset. An intense color that fades quickly.”
“Too bad. It’s such a lovely color, “ said Kelly.
After 10 minutes, during which they passed around a joint and continued to tease me, Anna said, “You’re right, the color is starting to fade already. Turn around, you naughty page boy, and face us. Keep your hands on your head.”
“Well, the color of ass may be like setting like the sun, but his little cock is compensating for it,” said Kelly, with a giggle.
“Pathetic,” commented the eloquent Archer.
I looked down to see my cock standing at attention through my tights, wishing I could simply disappear. I stood there shamefully for another twenty minutes as they finished a second joint.
After they finished, Anna said, “We’re running out of time before the good professor turns into a pumpkin. It’s time for your reward, professor. Obeisance!”
Recalling last week, I quickly dropped to the floor down on my belly and clasped my hands behind my back.
“Very good. You remembered,” Anna said. “Now slither on your belly to our feet, as we taught you.”
I began my humiliating belly crawl across the floor – only a few feet, but it felt like many more – my hard cock grinding into the hardwood, once again fearful that the combination of the potent humiliation and the stimulus to my cock would result in me ejaculating en route. Fortunately, it did not. Once I reached them, I craned my neck up to look at the four pairs of shoes hovering above me, and planted a kiss on the top of each, as I had been instructed during my last visit.
Anna then said, “Kelly, switch places with Paul, please.”
Once she did, Anna ordered me to lie on my back next to where she and Kelly were seated on the sofa. Rolling over, I winced with pain as my bottom touched the floor. From experience, I knew that sitting would be uncomfortable for the next day or two.
She then said to Kelly, “Do you want to provide the olfactory stimulation or the tactile stimulation?”
As if this was a routine occurrence in their lives, Kelly said, “Oh, definitely the tactile stimulation. It will be fun to toy with his little dicklet. Besides, based on what Paul said about your foot sweat, you’re the one who can provide the best olfactory stimulation.” Kelly chuckled.
“Very funny,” said Anna, smiling. “Very well.”
Anna removed her heels and placed her moist stocking-clad feet directly over my nose and mouth. Kelly kept her heels on and began pressing the toe of her right heel firmly into my balls, through my tights. She then began lightly kicking my balls. It was mildly painful, but not so painful that it caused my hard cock to deflate; it was painful yet still highly arousing, a well calibrated approach that suggested to me that Kelly had some experience tormenting others along similar lines.
“Take deep breaths, professor,” Anna ordered.
Her feet indeed had a strong, distinct odor, at once malodorous and fragrant, sour yet sweet. As I inhaled, Kelly began grinding her heel directly into the underside of my cock, pressing it into my body. Only about three minutes into this sensuous torture, my cock erupted, my semen seeping copiously through my white tights. I groaned involuntarily as I orgasmed, a groan of simultaneous ecstasy and despair. Because I hadn’t come in so long, I produced what was for me at least, a prodigious amount. What appalling, exquisite humiliation! I tried to imagine what it would be like facing my three students in class next week, or for that matter, any time again for the rest of my life. It was certainly a moment that would never be forgotten by anyone in that room.
“It looks like our professor enjoyed his reward,” Kelly said, snickering. “And I could tell when he was about to shoot his wad, so I moved my foot away just in the nick of time.” She picked up her heel and pointed at it, “See no icky professor goo. It’s clean.”
Anna said to me, “You see, being enslaved to us is not all about punishment. There are rewards as well, occasionally.”
“Yes, thank you Princess Anna, Princess Kelly.”
Well, at least I wouldn’t have to lick up my ejaculate this time. Paul threw me a towel. I was permitted to clean myself up and was then ordered to put the towel into the washing machine (by itself, as Anna didn’t want the towel I soiled to be near any of their clothes or linen). I then cleared up the kitchen. Finally, I was allowed to change back into my street clothes. Before I left the apartment, I was required one last time to bow down before each of them, kiss their feet and thank them for allowing me to be of service. I then went down the elevator, relieved to see a different doorman (one who I had never encountered before), who more or less ignored me as I exited the building.
I pulled up to my house at 10:20 P.M., surprised to see the light on in the kitchen. When Brooke and Luke went out to dinner on Thursdays, Luke usually drove, so it was not unusual to see Brooke’s car in the driveway. Maybe they had just forgotten to turn off the lights?
But as I entered the kitchen, I was alarmed to see Brooke sitting alone at the table. Expecting to be asked where I had been, I started trying to think of plausible explanations.
However, Brooke simply looked up at me. She had a glum expression on her face and her eyes were bloodshot, as if she had been crying. Something was definitely up.
“Hi, honey,” I said, nervously.
“Hi.”
“Where’s Luke?”
“He’s gone.”
“Will he back later, or is he staying at his house tonight?”
“He’ll be staying at his house every night from now on.”
“What are you talking about? What happened?”
“Go get a bottle of scotch and two glasses. I need a drink.”

HI Swimming,
Firstly I want to thank everyone in this subreddit as I have learnt loads from different posts that are there in this community. I have always been happy reading posts about people's achievements when they report they have swum a certain distance or learnt a certain stroke properly. Such posts are so motivating and encouraging and want them to keep coming on this forum. Today I want to report my own little success story :).
I am a 35 y/o male who never swam until this year. I took up a challenge this year to learn the sport of swimming and give it my best to learn it at this age. I am no sportsman but do indulge in running and weight-lifting to keep fit. I started learning swimming by hiring a coach for 8 sessions and quickly grasped the basics of floating, gliding and to some extent kicking. Breathing was a big challenge to conquer and it wasn't coming in naturally to me. I was able to learn breast stroke but not with finesse. Post my sessions got over I dedicate 2 hours everyday to learn and better my movement in the water and understanding how my body behaved in the water. It has been a month since and I was able to grapple the basics of free-style swimming by watching some excellent videos posted on YouTube and reading some posts in this sub-reddit. I have been swimming regularly for the past 2 months and I think the practice is showing results.
Today finally I was able to 8 x 300m intervals totalling 2.4Kms of distance in the swimming pool in 1hr and 15 mins of time and I am super happy and hence really wanted to share with the community especially people who are above 30 and haven't swum. I think you all can do it if I was able to do it. Consistency and Discipline rocks :) :).
Last but not the least. Thanks all for this community. Learned so much and will want to learn so much.

The Fresh and Fit channel experienced a meteoric rise due to several key factors: 1. Provocative and Controversial Content : The channel gained traction by tackling controversial topics related to dating, relationships, and gender dynamics in a confrontational style. Their bold and unapologetic takes, often deemed misogynistic by critics, generated significant buzz and attention. 2. Charismatic Hosts : The dynamic chemistry between hosts Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes (Freshprinceceo), along with their charismatic personalities, resonated with a significant portion of the audience seeking advice on dating and self-improvement. 3. Capitalizing on the "Red Pill" Movement : Fresh and Fit tapped into the growing "red pill" ideology, which promotes traditional gender roles and criticizes modern feminism. Their content aligned with and amplified these views, attracting a dedicated following within this community. 4. Leveraging Social Media : The hosts effectively utilized social media platforms like Instagram to promote their content and engage with their audience, further amplifying their reach and popularity. 5. Controversial Guests and Debates : The channel frequently hosted controversial guests, such as OnlyFans models, Instagram influencers, and other "red pill" figures, leading to heated debates and confrontations that fueled engagement and viewership.
The Rise and Fall of Fresh and Fit: Unpacking the Controversial "Red Pill" Movement on YouTube In the ever-evolving landscape of social media, a new breed of content creators has emerged, captivating audiences with their bold and divisive perspectives on gender dynamics, relationships, and societal norms. At the forefront of this movement stands Fresh and Fit, a YouTube channel that has garnered both fervent support and intense criticism for its unapologetic embrace of the "red pill" ideology.Hosted by Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes (known as Freshprinceceo), Fresh and Fit has amassed a staggering following, with over 1 million subscribers and videos regularly garnering millions of views. However, beneath the veneer of their provocative content lies a complex web of ideologies, controversies, and societal implications that warrant a closer examination. The "Red Pill" Ideology: A Primer To understand the phenomenon of Fresh and Fit, one must first grasp the core tenets of the "red pill" movement. Originating from the 1999 film "The Matrix," the term "red pill" has come to symbolize a metaphorical awakening to perceived harsh realities about gender relations, feminism, and the dynamics of power between men and women.Adherents of the "red pill" ideology often espouse traditional gender roles, criticize modern feminism, and advocate for a hyper-masculine approach to dating and relationships. They reject what they perceive as societal conditioning and embrace a worldview that emphasizes male dominance, female submission, and the pursuit of sexual conquest.In the words of Myron Gaines, the author of the controversial book "Women Deserve Less," the "red pill" philosophy is about "leveling up and the double-edged sword of social media." This sentiment encapsulates the movement's emphasis on self-improvement and the perceived need for men to assert their dominance in a world where gender dynamics are perceived as skewed in favor of women. The Rise of Fresh and Fit The meteoric rise of Fresh and Fit can be attributed to several key factors, each contributing to the channel's ability to captivate and polarize audiences. 1. Provocative and Controversial Content: Fresh and Fit gained traction by tackling controversial topics related to dating, relationships, and gender dynamics in a confrontational style. Their bold and unapologetic takes, often deemed misogynistic by critics, generated significant buzz and attention. As one Reddit user aptly described, "They invite the weirdest pornstars and only fans women with the trashiest mindset and act as if they are representative of all women." 2. Charismatic Hosts: The dynamic chemistry between Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes, along with their charismatic personalities, resonated with a significant portion of the audience seeking advice on dating and self-improvement. "Myron led a sinful lifestyle, with high body count n all, n his wealth will attract," commented a Reddit user, highlighting the allure of their personas. 3. Capitalizing on the "Red Pill" Movement: Fresh and Fit tapped into the growing "red pill" ideology, aligning their content with and amplifying these views, attracting a dedicated following within this community. As one critic noted, "They are scamming young guys hard and it makes me sad to see. They are selling courses for like $800 to 'teach' guys how to hit on girls on Instagram." 4. Leveraging Social Media: The hosts effectively utilized social media platforms like Instagram to promote their content and engage with their audience, further amplifying their reach and popularity. "They give off insecure vibes and only bring on girls that are 10 years younger then them," observed a Reddit user, highlighting their strategic use of social media. 5. Controversial Guests and Debates: The channel frequently hosted controversial guests, such as OnlyFans models, Instagram influencers, and other "red pill" figures, leading to heated debates and confrontations that fueled engagement and viewership. As one critic noted, "They bait them or subtly try to make them agree with them to go like 'See guys? What have we told you?'" 6. Appealing to a Specific Demographic: Fresh and Fit's content primarily targeted young men seeking dating advice and validation for traditional masculine ideals, filling a perceived gap in the market. "A friend of mine started watching Fresh and Fit and Kevin Samuels religiously a couple of months ago after a break-up. Went from being a normal guy to someone who genuinely hates women and rants about gender roles to me all the time," shared a concerned Reddit user. While controversy played a significant role in the channel's initial growth, it ultimately contributed to its downfall as well, with YouTube demonetizing the channel due to violations of its policies. The Cult of Fresh and Fit: Indoctrination and Manipulation As Fresh and Fit's popularity soared, concerns arose regarding the potential for indoctrination and manipulation of their predominantly young male audience. Critics argued that the channel's content perpetuated harmful stereotypes, fostered misogynistic attitudes, and promoted a distorted view of gender relations.In a thought-provoking video essay titled "The Cult of Fresh and Fit," YouTuber Aba & Preach delved into the psychological tactics employed by the channel, drawing parallels to cult-like behavior. The video highlighted how Fresh and Fit leveraged techniques such as love-bombing, us-versus-them mentalities, and the creation of an echo chamber to solidify their influence over their followers."They give me revenge of the nerds vibes," commented a Reddit user, alluding to the channel's appeal to a demographic of disaffected young men seeking validation and a sense of belonging. This sentiment underscores the potential for Fresh and Fit's content to foster a toxic subculture that perpetuates harmful attitudes and behaviors. The Societal Impact: Misogyny, Extremism, and Radicalization Beyond the confines of the Fresh and Fit channel, the "red pill" ideology has been linked to broader societal issues, including misogyny, extremism, and the potential for radicalization.In a study conducted by researchers at the University of Melbourne, a strong correlation was found between adherence to "red pill" beliefs and endorsement of hostile sexist attitudes towards women. The study highlighted the potential for such ideologies to contribute to the normalization of misogynistic views and the perpetuation of gender-based discrimination.Moreover, there have been instances where individuals associated with the "red pill" movement have been implicated in acts of violence and extremism. In 2018, a self-proclaimed "incel" (involuntary celibate) carried out a deadly attack in Toronto, claiming to be part of a "rebellion" against women. While Fresh and Fit has not been directly linked to such incidents, the potential for their content to contribute to the radicalization of vulnerable individuals remains a concern. The Countermovement: Voices of Reason and Critique In response to the rise of Fresh and Fit and the "red pill" movement, a countermovement has emerged, comprising voices of reason and critique from various spheres, including academia, journalism, and social commentary.Prominent figures such as Dr. Nerdlove, a dating coach and author, have actively challenged the harmful narratives propagated by the "red pill" community. In an interview with The Guardian, Dr. Nerdlove stated, "The red pill is a toxic ideology that encourages men to view women as objects to be acquired and discarded, rather than human beings with agency and autonomy."Journalists and social commentators have also played a crucial role in exposing the flaws and dangers of the "red pill" ideology. In a scathing article for The Atlantic, Laurie Penny criticized the movement's embrace of "reactionary masculinity" and its perpetuation of harmful gender stereotypes.Furthermore, online communities such as exredpill on Reddit have emerged as safe havens for individuals seeking to disengage from the "red pill" mindset and engage in constructive discussions about healthy relationships and personal growth. The Way Forward: Promoting Healthy Discourse and Accountability As the debate surrounding Fresh and Fit and the "red pill" movement rages on, it is imperative to address the underlying issues and promote a more constructive dialogue on gender relations, personal growth, and societal progress. 1. Fostering Healthy Masculinity: Rather than perpetuating toxic masculinity and misogynistic attitudes, there is a need to promote healthy expressions of masculinity that embrace empathy, respect, and emotional intelligence. Initiatives that encourage positive role models and mentorship programs for young men could play a pivotal role in this endeavor. 2. Emphasizing Consent and Mutual Respect: Discussions surrounding dating and relationships should prioritize consent, mutual respect, and the recognition of women's autonomy and agency. Content creators and influencers have a responsibility to promote healthy and ethical practices, rather than perpetuating harmful narratives. 3. Promoting Media Literacy and Critical Thinking: In the age of social media and online echo chambers, it is crucial to equip individuals with the skills to critically evaluate information and identify potential biases or manipulation tactics. Media literacy programs and educational initiatives could play a vital role in empowering audiences to make informed decisions. 4. Holding Platforms Accountable: Social media platforms and content hosting services must take a proactive stance in enforcing community guidelines and content policies, ensuring that harmful or extremist content is promptly addressed and removed when necessary. 5. Encouraging Diverse Perspectives: Rather than perpetuating a singular narrative, it is essential to amplify diverse voices and perspectives on gender relations, relationships, and personal growth. Inclusive dialogues that embrace nuance and complexity can foster greater understanding and progress. As the Fresh and Fit phenomenon continues to evolve, it serves as a poignant reminder of the power of social media to shape narratives and influence societal attitudes. By fostering healthy discourse, promoting accountability, and embracing diverse perspectives, we can navigate the complexities of gender dynamics and relationships in a manner that upholds respect, empathy, and the pursuit of mutual understanding.

Hi all, I recently and unexpectedly was laid off from my job and am on the verge on being homeless. I've traveled a lot in my life and am no stranger to roughing it out. I'm a 31 year old gay male and would appreciate any and all advice. If anyone can help with any homeless resources (shelters, case managers, housing or work) I've been a bartender for 4+ years and have over a decade of experience in hospitality/customer service. Can anyone recommend any shelters that best help with finding work or housing? 💜

Hi all, I recently and unexpectedly was laid off from my job and am on the verge on being homeless. I've traveled a lot in my life and am no stranger to roughing it out. I'm a 31 year old gay male and would appreciate any and all advice. If anyone can help with any homeless resources (shelters, case managers, housing or work) I've been a bartender for 4+ years and have over a decade of experience in hospitality/customer service. Can anyone recommend any shelters that help with work or housing? 💜

The Fresh and Fit channel experienced a meteoric rise due to several key factors: 1. Provocative and Controversial Content : The channel gained traction by tackling controversial topics related to dating, relationships, and gender dynamics in a confrontational style. Their bold and unapologetic takes, often deemed misogynistic by critics, generated significant buzz and attention. 2. Charismatic Hosts : The dynamic chemistry between hosts Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes (Freshprinceceo), along with their charismatic personalities, resonated with a significant portion of the audience seeking advice on dating and self-improvement. 3. Capitalizing on the "Red Pill" Movement : Fresh and Fit tapped into the growing "red pill" ideology, which promotes traditional gender roles and criticizes modern feminism. Their content aligned with and amplified these views, attracting a dedicated following within this community. 4. Leveraging Social Media : The hosts effectively utilized social media platforms like Instagram to promote their content and engage with their audience, further amplifying their reach and popularity. 5. Controversial Guests and Debates : The channel frequently hosted controversial guests, such as OnlyFans models, Instagram influencers, and other "red pill" figures, leading to heated debates and confrontations that fueled engagement and viewership.
The Rise and Fall of Fresh and Fit: Unpacking the Controversial "Red Pill" Movement on YouTube In the ever-evolving landscape of social media, a new breed of content creators has emerged, captivating audiences with their bold and divisive perspectives on gender dynamics, relationships, and societal norms. At the forefront of this movement stands Fresh and Fit, a YouTube channel that has garnered both fervent support and intense criticism for its unapologetic embrace of the "red pill" ideology.Hosted by Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes (known as Freshprinceceo), Fresh and Fit has amassed a staggering following, with over 1 million subscribers and videos regularly garnering millions of views. However, beneath the veneer of their provocative content lies a complex web of ideologies, controversies, and societal implications that warrant a closer examination. The "Red Pill" Ideology: A Primer To understand the phenomenon of Fresh and Fit, one must first grasp the core tenets of the "red pill" movement. Originating from the 1999 film "The Matrix," the term "red pill" has come to symbolize a metaphorical awakening to perceived harsh realities about gender relations, feminism, and the dynamics of power between men and women.Adherents of the "red pill" ideology often espouse traditional gender roles, criticize modern feminism, and advocate for a hyper-masculine approach to dating and relationships. They reject what they perceive as societal conditioning and embrace a worldview that emphasizes male dominance, female submission, and the pursuit of sexual conquest.In the words of Myron Gaines, the author of the controversial book "Women Deserve Less," the "red pill" philosophy is about "leveling up and the double-edged sword of social media." This sentiment encapsulates the movement's emphasis on self-improvement and the perceived need for men to assert their dominance in a world where gender dynamics are perceived as skewed in favor of women. The Rise of Fresh and Fit The meteoric rise of Fresh and Fit can be attributed to several key factors, each contributing to the channel's ability to captivate and polarize audiences. 1. Provocative and Controversial Content: Fresh and Fit gained traction by tackling controversial topics related to dating, relationships, and gender dynamics in a confrontational style. Their bold and unapologetic takes, often deemed misogynistic by critics, generated significant buzz and attention. As one Reddit user aptly described, "They invite the weirdest pornstars and only fans women with the trashiest mindset and act as if they are representative of all women." 2. Charismatic Hosts: The dynamic chemistry between Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes, along with their charismatic personalities, resonated with a significant portion of the audience seeking advice on dating and self-improvement. "Myron led a sinful lifestyle, with high body count n all, n his wealth will attract," commented a Reddit user, highlighting the allure of their personas. 3. Capitalizing on the "Red Pill" Movement: Fresh and Fit tapped into the growing "red pill" ideology, aligning their content with and amplifying these views, attracting a dedicated following within this community. As one critic noted, "They are scamming young guys hard and it makes me sad to see. They are selling courses for like $800 to 'teach' guys how to hit on girls on Instagram." 4. Leveraging Social Media: The hosts effectively utilized social media platforms like Instagram to promote their content and engage with their audience, further amplifying their reach and popularity. "They give off insecure vibes and only bring on girls that are 10 years younger then them," observed a Reddit user, highlighting their strategic use of social media. 5. Controversial Guests and Debates: The channel frequently hosted controversial guests, such as OnlyFans models, Instagram influencers, and other "red pill" figures, leading to heated debates and confrontations that fueled engagement and viewership. As one critic noted, "They bait them or subtly try to make them agree with them to go like 'See guys? What have we told you?'" 6. Appealing to a Specific Demographic: Fresh and Fit's content primarily targeted young men seeking dating advice and validation for traditional masculine ideals, filling a perceived gap in the market. "A friend of mine started watching Fresh and Fit and Kevin Samuels religiously a couple of months ago after a break-up. Went from being a normal guy to someone who genuinely hates women and rants about gender roles to me all the time," shared a concerned Reddit user. While controversy played a significant role in the channel's initial growth, it ultimately contributed to its downfall as well, with YouTube demonetizing the channel due to violations of its policies. The Cult of Fresh and Fit: Indoctrination and Manipulation As Fresh and Fit's popularity soared, concerns arose regarding the potential for indoctrination and manipulation of their predominantly young male audience. Critics argued that the channel's content perpetuated harmful stereotypes, fostered misogynistic attitudes, and promoted a distorted view of gender relations.In a thought-provoking video essay titled "The Cult of Fresh and Fit," YouTuber Aba & Preach delved into the psychological tactics employed by the channel, drawing parallels to cult-like behavior. The video highlighted how Fresh and Fit leveraged techniques such as love-bombing, us-versus-them mentalities, and the creation of an echo chamber to solidify their influence over their followers."They give me revenge of the nerds vibes," commented a Reddit user, alluding to the channel's appeal to a demographic of disaffected young men seeking validation and a sense of belonging. This sentiment underscores the potential for Fresh and Fit's content to foster a toxic subculture that perpetuates harmful attitudes and behaviors. The Societal Impact: Misogyny, Extremism, and Radicalization Beyond the confines of the Fresh and Fit channel, the "red pill" ideology has been linked to broader societal issues, including misogyny, extremism, and the potential for radicalization.In a study conducted by researchers at the University of Melbourne, a strong correlation was found between adherence to "red pill" beliefs and endorsement of hostile sexist attitudes towards women. The study highlighted the potential for such ideologies to contribute to the normalization of misogynistic views and the perpetuation of gender-based discrimination.Moreover, there have been instances where individuals associated with the "red pill" movement have been implicated in acts of violence and extremism. In 2018, a self-proclaimed "incel" (involuntary celibate) carried out a deadly attack in Toronto, claiming to be part of a "rebellion" against women. While Fresh and Fit has not been directly linked to such incidents, the potential for their content to contribute to the radicalization of vulnerable individuals remains a concern. The Countermovement: Voices of Reason and Critique In response to the rise of Fresh and Fit and the "red pill" movement, a countermovement has emerged, comprising voices of reason and critique from various spheres, including academia, journalism, and social commentary.Prominent figures such as Dr. Nerdlove, a dating coach and author, have actively challenged the harmful narratives propagated by the "red pill" community. In an interview with The Guardian, Dr. Nerdlove stated, "The red pill is a toxic ideology that encourages men to view women as objects to be acquired and discarded, rather than human beings with agency and autonomy."Journalists and social commentators have also played a crucial role in exposing the flaws and dangers of the "red pill" ideology. In a scathing article for The Atlantic, Laurie Penny criticized the movement's embrace of "reactionary masculinity" and its perpetuation of harmful gender stereotypes.Furthermore, online communities such as exredpill on Reddit have emerged as safe havens for individuals seeking to disengage from the "red pill" mindset and engage in constructive discussions about healthy relationships and personal growth. The Way Forward: Promoting Healthy Discourse and Accountability As the debate surrounding Fresh and Fit and the "red pill" movement rages on, it is imperative to address the underlying issues and promote a more constructive dialogue on gender relations, personal growth, and societal progress. 1. Fostering Healthy Masculinity: Rather than perpetuating toxic masculinity and misogynistic attitudes, there is a need to promote healthy expressions of masculinity that embrace empathy, respect, and emotional intelligence. Initiatives that encourage positive role models and mentorship programs for young men could play a pivotal role in this endeavor. 2. Emphasizing Consent and Mutual Respect: Discussions surrounding dating and relationships should prioritize consent, mutual respect, and the recognition of women's autonomy and agency. Content creators and influencers have a responsibility to promote healthy and ethical practices, rather than perpetuating harmful narratives. 3. Promoting Media Literacy and Critical Thinking: In the age of social media and online echo chambers, it is crucial to equip individuals with the skills to critically evaluate information and identify potential biases or manipulation tactics. Media literacy programs and educational initiatives could play a vital role in empowering audiences to make informed decisions. 4. Holding Platforms Accountable: Social media platforms and content hosting services must take a proactive stance in enforcing community guidelines and content policies, ensuring that harmful or extremist content is promptly addressed and removed when necessary. 5. Encouraging Diverse Perspectives: Rather than perpetuating a singular narrative, it is essential to amplify diverse voices and perspectives on gender relations, relationships, and personal growth. Inclusive dialogues that embrace nuance and complexity can foster greater understanding and progress. As the Fresh and Fit phenomenon continues to evolve, it serves as a poignant reminder of the power of social media to shape narratives and influence societal attitudes. By fostering healthy discourse, promoting accountability, and embracing diverse perspectives, we can navigate the complexities of gender dynamics and relationships in a manner that upholds respect, empathy, and the pursuit of mutual understanding.

I am male for refrence. Has any of your straight guy friends or past schoolmates secretly tried to hit on you or get with you after you came out the closet as gay?

https://imgur.com/a/T1D7z93
Hello folks,
I hope y’all enjoyed the weekend.
PayPal, Venmo, CashApp F&F only. Shipping is $10 flat. CONUS only. Please comment before chatting.
- Louis Vuitton Afternoon Swim 100ml retail. Full presentation. Box not pictured. Tube and box had a stain (cap got loose during delivery). Level shown. $270
- Creed Green Irish Tweed 100ml tester. Only sprayed once. I will include an Aventus cap. $170
- Dior Fahrenheit ale Parfum 75ml Full presentation. Level shown. $90
- JPG Le Male Elixir 125ml. Worn once (3 sprays). Full presentation. $110
- Tabac Nomade by Houbigant 100ml Full presentation. Wore once (4 sprays). $140 This is very close to Tobacolor, which I own
- Acqua Di Parma, Fico di Amalfi. 150ml. Level shown. No box. $60
Prices listed are firm. Add $10 for shipping. No swaps.
And that’s all, folks.

Three months ago, my (21M) girlfriend (21F) broke up with me because she realized she was gay. She had been struggling with her sex drive and her sexuality for most of our five month relationship. At first, she thought she might be asexual, then finally felt like she was gay. We still dated, even though she was no longer sexually attracted to me, but then she finally let me know she couldn't muster up romantic feelings for me. She told me, "I don't know why I feel this way, because our relationship is almost perfect."
I totally get it! It was obvious we weren't compatible anymore. But there was a part of me that was offended by this. Recently before the breakup, I had finally showed her my interest in being more feminine. I wanted to wear women's underwear, and she even bought me some. And we were going to experiment with makeup. She started calling me her girlfriend and her princess, and I started calling her my boyfriend. So I didn't understand why I wasn't enough.
Three months later, I found out she's been dating one of my friends, a transgender girl, for a couple months. Her transformation isn't complete, and I think she still has male genitals. So I'm confused. How come I wasn't enough? Just because they always portray themselves as a girl? Just because she takes shots?

Gay things Lorne has done:

1. Had sex with his brothers
2. Had (phone) sex with a man (Dan)
3. Had (phone) sex with another man (Heelborne)
4. Requested his girlfriend switch her talk-to-speech voice to a male voice
5. Dated a man using a voice changer and professed his love for him
6. Dated a man using talk-to-speech and professed his love
7. Sucked on a big beautiful dildo
8. (As a sex offender) Likely got graped or molested by men in prison
9. Potentially is a virgin which means the only sex he's ever had has been with men

Happy pride month to everyone but especially to our favorite closeted pedophile!

I don't want them to get used to my deadname. I don't know how to socialise with people when inside I'm a woman but I look like a male to anyone, I just pretend I'm a gay guy to strangers. I don't know how to come out to people the moment I meet them without being odd, so I feel like I have to get to know them to gauge if they'd be cool about it, but then it feels like I've waited too long and I've lied to them.

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Generous hours donated to the editing foundation by WaveOfWire
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Lukewarm water gave way to sand underfoot, frequent rocks and dried sea flora giving the orange shore a coarse design. Following an animate piece of metal to harvest underwater stone was not something the gray-skinned fisherwoman thought she would ever be doing. She hauled the ‘potassium’ up and into the wheelbarrow alongside her sister, the once-submerged resources’ rugged texture reflecting the bright sun’s rays in peculiar ways. Unfortunately, the days were getting colder much faster than she would have liked, despite the plentiful light. It was dismissible, but it ever so slightly urged her toward the warmth of the fires… and her new living quarters—the luxurious abode provided by the star-sent himself.
She could not understand how the brick home was capable of keeping such heat without flames, but she would not question it. Instead, she elected to enjoy the first nights of truly comfortable sleep in a long while… and it had been quite some time since the fisherwoman twins enjoyed the luxury of proper civilization. The village was quiet and peaceful compared to the bustling capitol, but it simply lacked the amenities that a large population provided. Their escape to the island provided poor bedding, no entertainment, little variation in food, and a nauseating deficiency of rum. Oh, how the sisters missed the sweet burning liquid. Their… past… may have heightened such affection for the alcohol, but it also didn’t help that they were suddenly branded as sky-worshipers and forced to flee to a humble islet—one that didn’t have any drinks besides boiled water…
Now look at the fisherwoman; there was no escaping her banishment. All that time spent making good with the locals, just for the inquisitors to show up once more and throw her onto the deck of a boat before it departed for an unknown land. She was not scared of the prospect, no. So what if she was to live on the mainland? It was no less rural than the last island—one they were just getting used to. No, she was vengeful for what they had stripped from her and her sister. They had crawled their way from nothing to something within the capitol only a winter or two prior. They could have lived like regular citizens. She supposed it was the grace of the Mountain God that they were led to an actual deity-sent. The siblings’ living situation had improved, too, even over their previous urban living situation. The two would not have to resort to… alternate forms of making a living ever again. She was even starting to appreciate the honor of completing a hard day’s work.
The wheelbarrow creaked and whined underneath the strain it was put under. The hefty rocks were intent on digging the two wheels deep into the dirt. Her sister’s equipment was fairing much the same, but they persevered, dragging the precious haul to the workshop where the Creator needed them. She shoved the portable storage up and over the small hump of the ‘cargo bay’ entrance, hauling it down the rows of animate creations.
Dozens of ‘hums,’ ‘whirrs,’ ‘tonks,’ ‘slams,’ and ear-mauling scrapes assaulted her senses. The ‘machines’ were clumped up with one another under the bright white lights. They spat materials, clear liquids, and yellow gasses amongst their others in a jumble of… something. Some things boiled, others hissed. There was much going on, with one foreign male at the center of it all.
The Creator stood by a towering device, pushing it with the help of the juvenile and the ceramist. The group slid the apparatus into place, leaving the star-sent to deftly manage the many colors on the glowing, rune-filled panel, while the assistants were dismissed, having received a few genuine words of appreciation from the male.
The gray-skinned fisherwoman clicked her tongue, garnering his attention, his weary eyes meeting her own.
“Hey,” he addressed them casually, eyeing their cargo with a raised brow. “You two are back soon. You can put the stuff in the same place as last, then just close the panel. Appreciate the hard work. Feel free to take a break between the next three loads; these machines won’t work fast enough to keep up with y’all.”
“You have my appreciation,” the twins said in unison.
The two of them did as asked, traversing the maze of tubes and metal, pouring the crumbling rocks into the belly of the machine, making sure to close the door as requested. Her sister sighed and stretched her back, extending all four arms up and backward, revealing the short cuts she had on their undersides. The fisherwoman cringed underneath the sudden aura of shame at the sight… It was the only real differentiator between the two, and it was her fault.
“I believe I shall take up the Creator on his blessing and take a short break by the fire. Will you join me?” her twin asked.
“I will be there shortly. Allow me a moment,” she returned.
Her counterpart squinted playfully. “Planning on something with the males, eh?”
“Nothing of the sort,” the fisherwoman chided, flicking her sister's snout with a singular talon.
The twin scowled and turned away, exiting the castle swiftly.
The fisherwoman shook her head and made her way to the star-sent, heedfulness and hesitation quieting her footsteps. It was an unusual feeling. She was never the best when it came to respecting those higher on the mountain than herself; they were always flippant, derisively ordering and pecking at those ‘who make not an honest day’s work.’ She despised giving her labor for such self-assured fools, forced to put on a face for them while suffering through their ‘hierarchy.’
That was why the small island villagers were so welcoming. They were much less strict in their positions or status, allowing for a community focused on the goals of the whole rather than the aspirations of a singular high-ranking Malkrin. Maybe that was why it was so easy for the gray-skinned twins to return to sincere labor there.
The star-sent was much the same, though… different in one aspect. Where the village had a sort of collectivism while still keeping some status of the elders or those higher up the mountain, the Creator did not seem to place himself within any sort of hierarchy. He was solely focused on seeing the settlement progress, addressing and communicating with whomever as if they were of the same status. It made tasks a lot easier and was most certainly why she felt it so easy to approach him with such an unnecessary question.
He was not by the previous set of machines, leaving the fisherwoman to look around. She scanned the entire floor, looking over much of the equipment, spotting him by one of the desks. She stepped up behind him, curiously eying the items on his table. He was… disassembling his staff? His blunt digits twisted small metallic pieces and pulled off larger ones, sliding the large cylindrical end out. He continued until all the components were resting on their respective cuts of cloth, each cleaned and rubbed down with a few liquids.
The fisherwoman did not realize she was leaning over him and staring until he stopped and stretched upward, inadvertently tapping her snout. His chair jolted out of the way, turning around to face her. The Creator’s body was stiff as his wide eyes bored into her, palm resting atop his shoulder-bound blade. He stared up at her for a long few seconds, his burning glare stunning her in place all the while. A loud huff finally escaped him, his strained posture loosening.
“…Jesus, you fuckin’ scared me,” the high male groaned, his chest still rising and falling rapidly. His hand still had not left his knife. “Did you need something?”
“Forgive me star-sent,” she bowed her head, embarrassment and a hint of shame running through her frills. She quickly excused her actions nervously. “I did not mean to startle you… Nor did wish not to bother you, b-but I have a query. You had mentioned that I was free to ask any.”
“Mm, yeah.” The Creator finally released his blade and took a piece of cloth, returning to his task of rubbing down another metallic piece of his staff. “I’d rather you guys ask questions than sit in confusion. So, what’s up? Is there anything you need to harvest the deposits? We’ve got some metal to spare.”
Sparing metal for her simplistic job? Lord above… “N-No. Please excuse my prodding, but I wish to know what these machines are doing.”
“What they’re doing? Like, each one specifically or as a whole?”
“As a whole, Creator.” She did not dream of wrapping her head around the blessed equipment.
He grabbed a gray tube from his staff’s belt. “Gunpowder… for these. Or, more accurately, modified black powder. It’s just as powerful, but it’ll also put on more of a smoke show… and dirty the hell out of barrels and bolts alike…” He frowned at the components next to him before noticing her confused expression. He shook his head. “Sorry. It’s a powder that ignites and propels—” he dug into the cylinder with his digits and slid out a piece of metal. “—slugs and bullets. It’s essentially the whole reason guns work. I’m sure you’ve seen the FAL Akula’s touting around, right?”
She slowly nodded, understanding what he was alluding to. The dark-green-skinned fisherwoman was quite proud of receiving her own staff, keeping it in hand at all times.
“Yeah, so without this, her weapon would be as good as a piece of wood. That’s why I plan on making so much of it.”
“I… see.” She looked back at the whirring snake of moving parts within the center of the castle, a greater sense of awe settling on her as she took in its final purpose. “So it takes metals from a cave, rocks from the sea floor, and the burnt husks of logs to produce such?”
“There are a few more ingredients, like the spider-crab biofuel and trace air elements, but yeah.” The high male continued to clean the components of his weapon as if the process of gunpowder creation was only a menial accomplishment. “It takes a good bit of specific inputs to make the stuff.”
The others claimed the star-sent to be a wizard, and that would be an easy assessment with his staff and mystic equipment, but that would not be accurate. The Creator was clearly a great alchemist, turning useless materials into the very power of his grand weapons. Not to mention forming fine metals from coarse rocks. How did the settlers not see such? The villagers were more blessed than they realized.
A thousand other questions burned into her mind of what else he was capable of creating. What could he do with tree bark? What about dirt and fish? Were they ingredients of powerful remedies or sturdy materials? The dam almost burst, but she held it in. The star-sent’s invitation to casual conversation should not be squandered by her pestering any further. Perhaps he would enlighten her another time. For now, she was required to complete her tasks—this time with much more purpose than she had prior.
She thanked the high male and left for the shore with a swaying tail. Perhaps her efforts would be rewarded handsomely were she to keep it up.
\= = = = =
Harrison sat back on a stool by the outdoor range. The sun had already been down for some time, keeping much of his work underneath the few Malkrin-sized floodlights placed around the settlement. Their bright white light illuminated the decimated wooden targets twenty meters out, dim moonlit covering the rest of the meadows further beyond. It wasn’t a great idea to stay out in the night, given Tracy’s reconnaissance drones weren’t equipped with any night vision or thermals yet, but there was still work to be done, so he instead relied on two armed females to serve as early warnings and defense while he finished up his testing.
The modified black powder was finally narrowed down to a suitable side-grade for traditional double and triple-base gunpowder. The first batch wasn’t nearly powerful enough, and it dirtied the hell out of the FAL he used. The second attempt was much the same, but actually managed to reach an acceptable muzzle velocity. Now, after a whole day of experimenting with the ingredients, it was a damn powerful propellant. The most important ingredient was the added biofuel-adjacent compounds that were made from, of course, biofuel, and much of the air-extracted elements like oxygen and nitrogen.
It was an increasingly convoluted process that required many of the machines to be switched around. Most of their programmed inputs and outputs had been changed several times by the end of the day. Hell, almost the entirety of the workshop’s stock of chemical and mechanical fabrication units had been used up by the operation—if they hadn’t already been taken by the other ongoing lines of industry.
The powder dirtied the hell out of the rifles, it kicked like a horse, and it was a pain in the ass to synthesize, but it was done. He wouldn’t need to worry about letting loose any bullets into those spider-crabs anymore. He even had a suitable source of metal, solving all of his iron and steel needs too. It was small scale, but it was something, and that little bit of income was all he needed to start scaling up the process and deal with all the alloy-hungry projects he needed to start on.
The first of which was probably going to be simple automated mules for the heavy ore. He spent a good portion of the morning assisting with the mining operations until he was confident that the lumberjack got a hang of the hand-held lasers. The most prevailing thing the engineer learned from his efforts was how much of a pain in the ass it was to drag the sphalerite back on sleds.
They didn’t have any on-hand blueprints for any transportation droids until he traveled to the vehicle bay and got them himself. Thankfully, there just happened to be a woman who specialized in creating automated drones, and she was more than happy to take the task on herself. Some part of him felt a little bit of remorse for dumping the work on the technician, but she genuinely seemed to actually kind of enjoy it, almost like it was just a hobby for her. The woman even had her own corner of the workshop dedicated to her tinkering. It had two fabricators, warm yellow lighting, and plenty of cluttered parts and pieces around her laptop. All of it surrounded a central chair that she used to bounce between the different sections of the building process. One corner was for the printers and requesting components, another was for welding, a third for circuitry, and so on.
However, the whole thing did urge him to visit the vehicle bay before the blood-moon. There were a hell of a lot more applications for drone automation than he realized, and he wasn’t intent on putting all of that on Tracy.
The engineer sighed and rubbed his forehead, grabbing for another blue-leaf on the nearby bullet casing-covered table. The finger-width frond was something he’d been enjoying since the foraging Malkrin started to bring them back. They tasted like the fragrance of jasmine. Simply chewing it and letting the small particles of plant matter mix with saliva created a sort of tea in his mouth. He saw Cera using it alongside the whole ‘females using a stick to sharpen their teeth’ thing, so he asked and was generously given a bunch.
The blue-leaf jutted from his mouth like those depictions of Old-Earth farmers chewing the stems of wheat, slowly being gnawed until its tip as the night went on. He eyed Sharky and the ceramist standing at their post nearby, the two of them staying as alert as possible despite it being later than they would usually go to sleep… Maybe it wasn’t best to test gunpowder late at night with unsuppressed fire while the others were sleeping. A tinge of embarrassment and regret nipped at the back of his head.
It was worth it, though. Their ranged capabilities would benefit immensely from the gunpowder, most likely ensuring their survival to come… if it weren’t some small issues. It was a shame the Malkrin had such difficulties with the weapons. Not enough to make them unusable, but enough to cause annoyance with general handling. The guns were practically compact submachine guns to the giant females. Cera and Akula had a hard time reloading with their big ‘ol talons, especially for the mag-release paddles by the trigger. Not to mention the process of actually packing ammo back in the empty magazines… Furthermore, there was irritation with trying to keep the firearm in a suitable place while they worked. Slings swung around too much, and pack attachments poked their lower arms and back. Of course, none of them voiced their opinions on it. He simply noticed all the ways they squirmed when the gun swung out and poked them in the side, or how they fumbled with them while reloading.
Honestly, at this point he might just consider designing a whole new weapon system if the most basic aspects of kinetics were a bother. Something more ergonomic for them to use and store… probably with a bigger bullet that’s easier for them to handle. He’d figure it out later, after he managed to finish helping Tracy build the automated mule.
“Shar! Cera! C’mere!” he called out, his voice somewhat muffled by the frond stuck between his teeth.
The two females perked up, quickly making their way back to his ramshackle firing point. The paladin clipped her M2 onto her back as she trotted up to his side.
“Are we fin—hed for the even—g?” the maroon-colored Malkrin questioned, looking rather tired.
He packed the can of ammunition up, slapping its cover closed. “Just about. I’ve still gotta test the fifty-cal ammo for your browning, but that’s for us to deal with tomorrow.”
“Of course. Will y–u be requiring this firearm for the durat—n?”
“Luckily for you, I won’t.” He pointed a thumb in the direction of the workshop. “I’ve got another being printed right now.”
The paladin squinted. “Anot—r? For whom?”
Cera flipped through the notebook she used for communication, scribbling on it for a mere second before turning it around for the other two to see. It showed a crude outline of the turret they used during the last blood moon… How’d she know?
“I’m guessing Tracy filled you in, huh?” The technician and the ceramist were pretty close, especially whenever Tracy went to help her with drawing. He slid a few FAL magazines into a small pseudomycelium bag, glancing up at Shar. “We’re planning on putting two or three active turrets up around the modules and possibly around the beach and sphalerite cave—depending on resources, of course.”
A grin spread across Shar’s muzzle, her tail swaying. “So we sh—l be furthering our fortificat—ns? It is wise we act early before the bl—d-moon.”
The engineer continued to pack the range items away with the ceramist's assistance. “Yeah, only about ten days or so until then. We have to make the best of it. But that’s not the only reason; I’m planning on setting out sometime ‘fore the blood-moon to retrieve some data from a module further out. This time, it’ll be a longer expedition; ‘Smore than a day’s walk. We’ll be needing more than just the two of us to keep watch overnight. So yeah, we’ll need to keep home base safe while we’re out.”
She leaned forward, an inspired glint in her eye. “I underst—d. Will there be anyth—g I can do to assist the p—paration process?”
“Nothin’ specific.” He smirked, patting her on her oversized forearm for a moment. “‘Cept training and lifting stuff like you do anyway. Definitely gonna need yer strength for hauling turret materials around. Even more for the bullshit we’ll probably have to go through on the journey.”
Her restrained smile turning into something different than the grin she wore before. “I-I am at your c—mand, Harrison. I give my labor to y–u freely.”
Harrison caught Cera idly watching their conversation, a curious look gathering on her face as she observed him. He soon noticed his palm was resting atop shar’s wrist, his hand in a much different place than he last remembered leaving it. He awkwardly coughed and removed it, returning his attention to the mass of equipment he packed up. “Right, uh… Again, that’s all for the day. Cera, you’re free to check out if you want.”
The addressed female raised a brow, still eying up him and the paladin before wiping the look off her face and smiling. She bowed and gave a short wave, leaving him and Sharky to stand underneath the outdoor floodlights while Cera slunk back to the barracks. He looked back up at the tall female beside him, giving her a knowing look.
“You can head off too if you want. I know you’ll be sleeping anyway if we head back into the workshop.”
She stood up straight, an adorable mix of furrowed brows and a pout resembling offense forming on her visage. “I w—ld not fall asl…” The flushed paladin paused, clearly realizing her inaccuracy, causing Harrison’s smile to grow all the wider. She huffed and quietly continued with her excuses. “I can not leave you to the night by y—rself. What if sculking b—sts enter the castle? I should not dare to l—ve your side.”
He stared at her with lighthearted contempt. “C’mon, Shar. Wouldn’t you rather fall asleep in a comfortable bed than a metal desk? I’m gonna be helping Trace with her drones for a long while too.”
“I would prefer noth—g more than to be within arm’s r—ch of you,” she insisted. Her orange irises burned as her tail found its way around him. “Even still, the other star-s—t has left for the other castle alr—dy.”
He raised a brow, the cool skin of her limb rubbing against his palm. “Wait, Tracy left already? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“F—give me, I was busy patrolling the settlem—t. She offered a short wave to me as she left.”
If the technician was gone already and wasn’t in the workshop in the first place to need his help… why did he even need to be in there? She noticed his realization, leaning in closer. Her eyes glanced away nervously for a short moment as she appeared lost in thought before being wrangled back to match his gaze.
“Then, if there is noth—g else for you to complete with the machines, might I sugg—t a compromise to the is—e at hand?”
He raised a brow curiously.
Short clacks of the talons tapping together filled the air. “W-Well, If y–u were to join my slumber, It would satisfy your wish as w—l as my own. I will not fall asl—p atop the desk and you shall be within my p—tection. I-It would be best for your sl—p if I were there, no?
He gave her an incredulous look, the corners of his cheeks breached by a small smile. It wasn’t a great ‘compromise’ for him, but it wasn’t like he had any place to argue against it, really. He wasn’t that tired, yet there was fuck all to do in the workshop until tomorrow… so… “If it’ll get you to sleep, then fine.”
Her eyes lit up in surprise. She clearly wasn’t expecting him to go without debate. “Y-You… Yes, of c—rse. The offer was intended for both our be—fits…” The paladin gestured toward the other module with a wide arm, her thin confidence barely hiding her vibrating frills. “Sh—l… we…?”
He nodded, letting her tail rest on his shoulder like a scarf as he turned around, nudging her to follow. They strolled through the soft grass and night breeze, eased by the thought of a comfortable bed and sound sleep.
\= = = = =
A consistent click came from Kegara’s talon tapping rhythmically against her shield, the piercing sound mirroring the force of her scalding breaths. The tent was bathed in the flickering hue of flame from a centralized fire, yet the warmth bled from everywhere she looked, which was primarily the current target of her displeasure. When their excursion team returned, the Grand Paladin thought them to come back with results or news, yet they brought only an infuriating pitiful recount of a spineless worm.
Every exhale was riddled with the white-skinned female’s ire as she paced around the trembling, pink-skinned female that stood inside the Grand Paladin’s tent. The fisherwoman’s shaking breaths could barely be heard beneath the sizzling of Kegara’s unfinished meal. She had lost her appetite, and the contents she had been looking forward to were now tainted by the taste of ineptitude. A burnt smell permeated throughout the room. A waste, but no more of a waste than the pathetic trash currently fouling her tent.
The failure’s back was straight, her head was kept level, and her tail was as still as the mountain towering above the camp outside, yet nothing but inadequacy was visible.
The Grand Paladin stopped her pacing in front of the messenger, covering her burning vexation with cold, quiet intent and an edged stare. The fisherwoman swallowed heavily. “Were you at least capable of finding their sea vessel, incompetent one?”
“W-We did, Grand Paladin,” the pitiful excuse for a Malkrin quickly returned, fear and guilt bleeding through her voice. A sense of hope entered those dull eyes as they tried to salvage what was already lost. “There were footsteps we followed along the beach, b-but they were cut off abruptly by the tracks of abhorrent!”
Kegara took another step forward, brows furrowing as she bore her gaze ever deeper into the scum that stood before her, the head-height difference in stature between them further emblazening the glare. Her words grew more heated with every question, each syllable teeming with threats. “Then they perished? Was there blood? Signs of a battle?”
The pink-skinned female struggled to keep herself straight, trembling down to the talons. “T-There was no sign of s-such.”
“And you did not pursue them?” A simple question, and one spoke through a frigid, flat tone. Dignified and controlled, yet making no effort to hide the malice underneath. Her digits twitched, barely restrained.
“N-No, we f-feared the abhor—”
The fisherwoman’s speech was cut short with a choke and a flicker of movement from the white-skinned paladin. A singular hand wrung the failure’s throat and lifted the veritable waste, her grip tight enough to cull the fouled intent before it could spit more worthless drivel. Kegara’s frills shook with her burning projection. “You failed because you were *scared? Fourteen females were **frightened of footprints? You insolent failure! Your heathenous brothers and sisters are left to the whims of the mainland because of your fear! Left to be mauled and eaten alive by the abhorrent!”*
“W-We could not have—”
“SILENCE,” she commanded sharply, her voice a blade that tore through the fisherwoman’s denial. She snarled, feeling the very heartbeat within the fragile neck as her grip tightened. Shameful vocalizations and strained breaths failed to bring air to the pathetic one’s lungs. It would be quicker to silence the fool permanently, and Kegara’s pride demanded it be done. Every move within the paladin’s talons threatened to rend the very flesh beneath them, yet her claws must be stayed, for allowing blood to spill would be an equally foolish mistake. The fisherwoman was lucky; menial labor was a strained resource. Such a failure of a banished fool would be culled on the spot otherwise.
The pink-skinned female was thrown to the ground, dirt being tossed into the air as she skid to a stop. She hacked and coughed on her back, her ragged gasps irritatingly scraping the high one’s ears. Kegara’s slow exhalations poured through clenched teeth as she controlled herself. Perfection required persistence. If she wished to send the group back out for their incompetence, then she would need them to live long enough to do so. To ensure the new banished were found and brought back. To prove themselves worth her kindness.
But were there banished left to collect? The latest group was most likely reduced to bones for the repulsive creatures to gnaw on by now, and it would be but a waste of Malkrin to frivolously send more out. It was a situation wrought from mistakes and inadequacy, searing her flesh with its reflection onto her, painting her image with its wretched color. The vexation burned her from the inside as she resisted the urge to stain her tent with the failure’s red. This was much greater a failure than the fisherwoman could understand, but at least a large catch of meat had been procured. This was still a salvageable outcome.
“Bring half the food to the cooks,” the grand paladin relented with a simmering hiss, glaring down at the coughing lump of shame. “Leave the rest by the cave as always. Do not fail me with such a simple task, or you will prove my benevolence to be a mistake.”
“Of… c-course.” The fisherwoman shakily nodded before shuffling away, all but fleeing the tent to complete her duties. The failure was gone, but her stench persisted.
Kegara spat on the ground, no longer wishing to return to her meal, as disgusting as it had become. The searing exasperation that gnawed at her chest slowly fell away, leaving only the frigid caress of mortification on her frills. The lack of success would carry with it great consequences, and those would carry more in an ever-growing rockslide of punishment.
Would it impact her mission? What would happen if her settlement was incapable of providing logistics for the excavation? Would they no longer return with the relics? How would the Grand Script-keeper react? What of the high priestesses? The Grand Paladin was no fool; she knew where their disdain would lie, should she prove to be as pathetic as that fisherwoman. The blame could not be siphoned off into the tainted peasantry beneath her command. It would be put on her and her alone. She would face judgment without reprieve.
The white-skinned Makrin let out a shaky breath, steeling herself away from the agonizing worries. The solution was as clear as her faith, and just as certain. She would not allow such a mistake to occur again. More capable laborers would be sent next time, paladins without such weaknesses as fear, and success would be enforced.
According to the report, the next island that the inquisitors were approaching was one with a larger population, numbering in the thousands. It was assured that they would find many more of the blighted Malkrin to be exiled, and the traitorous filth would find their labor funneling directly to the mainland. She could perform her duties properly once she had the subordinates to do so.
Those higher on the mountain would see her accomplishments then. Surely.
- - - - -
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Next time on Total Drama Anomaly Island - Space Marines Malkrin

So just some context, I born and bred in Sydney. I'm Asian, early 20s, work a well-paying job, and while I've been pushing to go out/mingle in gay social circles more recently, I am still introverted and prefer wholesome outings over clubbing etc. I've gone to a few gay male events but not particularly a "Sydney scene gay". I am also muscular as well and can pass as a 26-30 year old easily - I've been told I'm attractive by other attractive guys too. (not advertising myself or trying to sound arrogant, just thought it might be important info)
The past few months I've been trying to find someone for a bit more of a serious connection but have been finding it hard. I've been constantly going on dating apps and have attended a few social events but I just struggle for something serious. Most guys I've gone on dates with are older than me generally (usually 5-10 years difference) as many guys my age either I don't feel attracted to or they're not attracted to me. And every time I go on dates, there is always a compatibility issue - he's too religious/from a religiously conservative family, drugs/smoking, or simply just no physical or emotional compatibility. Every time I've met someone with potential, there isn't a long term possibility (either they're moving away or have no intentions to move here long-term)
Especially with the smoking/drugs - so many gays here in Sydney are doing drugs and many guys are shocked hearing I've never done anything except drink occasionally. This is my biggest dealbreaker and at this rate, it seems like I won't ever find someone who is sobedrug-free.
Fellow gays, how do you increase your chances of finding a potential partner? How can I improve my presence in the dating scene? This sounds like such a cliche topic, but I didn't think more seriously about dating till a few months ago

WHAT WOULD JESUS SAY ABOUT "PRIDE MONTH"
(In 1999 President Clinton declared June as "Gay and Lesbian Pride Month." In 2021 President Biden changed it to "LGBTQ Pride Month.")
From the "LAWS OF GOD AND THE CREATION, Also called "THE LAWS OF BALANCE."

1. YOU MUST OBEY THE WISDOM OF GOD FOR THE RESPONSIBLE AND BALANCED PROCREATION OF YOUR SPECIES.

We have written about the Commitment of Marriage by A MAN and A WOMAN To God as being one of the necessary components to also becoming a PARENT for God which means pro-creating your species. (SEE Law #8 "You Must Not Commit Adultery.").
Now the DIVINE and SACRED "act' which was created by GOD for the procreation of the species you ones call "sexual union". God created YHIS DIVINE UNION to be performed between ONE man and ONE woman specifically for maintaining the balanced level of the species for each given planetary system. Now the "fallen" ones or adversaries of GODNESS have completely perverted and maligned this once "sacred" and "divine" act that at one time was DONE with complete LOVE and DEVOTION to THE FATHER within each partner, so that it (sex) is now called "a birthright" to be done often, with impunity and with MANY partners of either sex and without consideration of LOVE or responsible pro-creation. How we and THE FATHER weep for you! this ONE abuse of God's creation has nearly destroyed your species! Let us quote once again from, "AND THEY CALLED HIS NAME IMMANUEL: I AM SANANDA" - Pg. 55:
"The act of marriage and procreation must have the highest degree of pure intent and preparation, for upon these bonds and restrictions will rest the preservation of mankind upon the planet. If everything is done and adhered to, justice and peace will come to all mankind, and life in the human form can be preserved.
"If man continues his selfish and imprudent behavior, he will sound his own death tariff. There reaches a point beyond which a planet cannot support the unbalanced system perpetrated by mankind. And yet, so shall it come to pass (Read this carefully!) that man will not listen and Bring destruction upon his own species. It will come about in some two millennium that man will have reached the point of self destruction. (.This is 1991 friends, have you fulfilled this prophecy of Jesus the Christ IImmanuel and OTHER prophets before him?!?). And so it is projected by the prophets and shall it come to pass in its time of fulfillment and in my time of fulfillment." End of quote.
Let's begin with God's directive about marriage and Pro-creation between A MAN and A WOMAN. It is very clear that this DOES NOT say, marriage and "the sexual act" is OK between a man and s man, or a woman and a woman, or TWO men and ONE woman or THREE women and ONE man, or etc. Again, the laws of balance are LOGICAL, meaning they were created specifically to maintain BALANCE within The Creation.
Because of the various degrees of deliberate, systematic and malevolently lewd and lascivious sexual behaviors, which are the corruption of the DIVINE UNION, and which have been and are practiced by most on your plane, the warning given above by our beloved Jesus Immanuel is transpiring before your very eyes in this time frame!
The sexual "act".was specifically designed to be performed by ONE man and ONE woman who had committed THEIR DIVINE LOVE AS ONE in the union of marriage, ordained by GOD. Through this union OF LOVE, the act of sexual intercourse between a husband and his wife for pro-creation was a most sacred and honored responsibility, an extension of the LOVE and COMMITMENT TO GOD in his service as PARENTS of HIS Children.
Now remwember the law of "Cause and Effect". The EFFECTS of breaking this one directive of God are all about you today. Over-Population and the spread of fatal venereal and blood-borne diseases, such as Syphilis and AIDS, are proving to be YOUR self-punishment to the point of creating the nearly complete destruction of your human species on Earth.
So let there be NO misunderstanding. The following BEHAVIORS are specifically and undeniably AGAINST OR CONTRARY TO THE LAWS OF GOD AND THE CREATION:

1. Any Homosexual sexual activity between two or more men is strictly forbidden.
   
2. Any Homosexual sexual activity between two or more women is strictly forbidden.
   
3. Any BI-Sexual sexual activity between two or more men and women is strictly forbidden.
   

KEEP IN MIND WE ARE SPECIFICALLY REFERRING TO "SEXUAL" ACTIVITIES, NOT LOVE, INTIMACY (Sharing soul-deep closeness and specialness of the friendship), COHABITATION (Sharing living quarters/home together), AND FRIENDSHIP between members of the same sex. Meaning that it is the LEWD, LUSTFUL AND IRRESPONSIBLE "SEXUAL ACT' THAT IS SPECIFICASLLY AND STRICTLY AGAINST GOD and LIFE!

1. Any Anal 9Sodomy) sexual intercourse performed between asny persons, male or females, is strictly forbidden.
   
2. Any sexual activity perfbrmed with ANIMALS (Bestiality) by any human is strictly forbidden.
   
3. Any sexual activity performed by ones closely related within the same family line (Incest). For example; brother and sister, father and daughter, uncle and niece, aunt and nephew, cousin and cousin, mother and son, Grandfather and Granddaughter is strictly forbidden.
   
4. Any sexual activity performed (male and female) adult upon or with any child is strictly forbidden.
   
5. Prostitution--the act of offering oneself, man or woman, to another for sexual relations in exchange FOR PAYMENT of same--is strictly forbidden.
   
6. Any Sadistic or Masochistic sexual practices performed by anyone or ones upon self or others is strictly forbidden. Sadistic: "1. A tendency to take delight in bering cruel". Masochizstic: "1. A condition in which sexual gratification depends largely on undergoing physical pain or humiliation. 2. A tendency to derive pleasure from one's mown suffering."
   
7. Any voyeuristic (one who is sexually gratified by looking at sexual (objects or acts) activity or any participation in pornographic (sexually explicit or obscene) materials, ie. movies, magazines, books, "artwork" and objects is strictly forbidden.
   

Please understand that it is this preoccupation with behavior of lustful and lascivious physical pleasure that YOU must each choose to avoid and rise above spiritually. The corruption and preoccupation with sexual thoughts, words and actions has become hypnotizingly OBSESSIVE and also terribly degrading to THE SPIRIT OF LIFE OF THE ONE! THIS IS NOT LOVE BY ANY DEFINITION. Can you not see this TRUTH before you and within you? Your sexual obsession MUST STOP if you are to reach beyond your mortal body into THE KINGDOM OF GOD!
Many of you, by now, are probably wondering about the act of masturbation: "Stimulation of sexual organs by oneself." First, Re-read the above paragraph. Masturbation is a self-pleasure sexual act upon SELF AND it is also what most of you couples are doing when you have "sex" together and call it "making love." The only difference is that it is the "sharing" of MUTUAL Masturbation with your partner. Mutual Masturbstion is NOT DIVINE SEXUAL UNION FOR CELEBRATING PROCREATION. When one is an "adult" and does not wish to have children, the seeking of sexual pleasure by self or with another is a transgression upon self simply BECAUSE YOU ARE DENYING AND LIMITING YOUR SPIRITUAL CREATIVE POTENTIAL WITHIN.
The sexual desire in this time on your place of extreme sexual preoccupation, begins for many youngsters at puberty. Many will have sexual release or dreams while they sleep. With the CAREFUL and loving guidance of the parents well before and during this time, the child will not be frightened of the changes in his/her body and will most likely occasionally indulge in masturbation for either curious explorstion or release of the physical body. Moderate or occasional masturbation done in privacy by any, either child or adult, is not harmful to THE SPIRIT OF GOD WITHIN. Remember this parents, it can also become very harmful to a child if through his "training", he is taught to fear or despise his genitalia, or be made to feel guilt for self-sexual exploration or masturbation. He must learn about his personal responsibility and must understand ALL THE LAWS OF GOD including those governing procreation. But if you make the child feel fearful, shameful or guilty about his own personal sexual exploration, you may actually be creating for him OBSESSIVE PRE-OCCUPATION with sexuality. If the child is not exposed to constant "sexually stimulating" media, he will quickly loose interest after initial self-exploration IF HIS CREATIVE potential is encouraged, nurtured, and supported by HIS PARENTS and TEACHERS. The more spiritually aware children and adults will either not have much interest in, or gradually lose interest in sexual exploration of any kind. It is much healthier for the spirit if this process of becoming detached from sexual feelings is natural and BY choice because of spiritual UNDERSTANDING and awareness.
What you ones have labeled "sexual energy" or "libido" is actually a corruption of the creative and nurturing potential of the Spirit of GOD within YOU. LET US REPEAT THIS: YOUR "SEXUAL ENERGY/LIBIDO" IS ACTUALLY A CORRUPTION OF THE CREATIVE AND NURTURING POTENTIAL OF THE SPIRIT OF GOD WITHIN YOU! Let us see how your Funk and Wagnals Dictionary defines "libido." "1. Sexual desire or impulse. 2.The instinctual craving or drive behind all human activities." Did you read that clearly, friends? INSTINCTUAL CRAVING OR DRIVE BEHIND ALLK HUMAN ACTIVITIES! The catch is, precious ones, SEX is not the INSTINCTUAL craving or drive that was created by GOD, THIS was your CREATIVE, nurturing drive TO KNOW and CELEBRATE GOD WITHIN YOU, TO CO-CREATE THE EVER-UNFOLDING EXPANSION AND ADVENTURE OF LIFE! The truly loving DIVINE UNIOIN, that of male/female experiencing their creative potential through the sexual act of PROCREATION, was created to be a UNION OF DIVINE LOVING DEVOTION and CELEBRATION OF THE GIFTS OF ONENESSW SHARED...AND OF NEW LIFE CREATED FROM GOD. Rarely do ones feel TRUE LOVE, caring friendship, affection and intimacy toward their mates on your plane. Most have simply forgotten what LOVE is. You think perhaps you and your mate are one of the "rare" exceptions? Here is a test for you. How long would your marriage and commitment last if today you completely STOPPED all sexual activity with one another? Think about this carefully. Do you give of yourself to your mate sexually and otherwise because you wish to please them? To please both of you? To please yourself? You ones think your sexual orgasm is ecstasy? YOU EVEN LIMIT ECSTASY!
You see, you are not your desires, you are not your emotions. YOU are THE SPIRIT of LIFE of GOD, and your spirit IS the MASTER over your dssires and emotions. Don't you see that you have simply chosen, in your illusion of ignorance and confusion, TO MAKE your emotions and desires the MASTER over your SPIRIT...YOUR GODNESS?!?
This corruption of your creative potential WAS CREATED, CONDITIONED AND MOLDED BY YHR ANTI-CHRIST. YOU IMPLY BOUGHT THE LIE AS TRUTH AND HAVE BECOME ADDICTED TO YOUR DESIRE FOR "SEX." You don't believe your "sexual" desire is created? Look around you today. Your Advertising Media as well as your Magazines, Television and Movies ARE CREATING YOUR DESIRES FOR YOU by conditioning and molding you through false "IMAGES" of what is beauty, what is "sex appeal"--in other words, by directing your attention constantly to "how" you look physically, your athletic prowess, your sex appeal and attractiveness. Why does and has this "desire"-creating worked? Because the Anti-Christ first molds the "false images" and then plays uponn your FEAR of being too unattractive, unworthy, unpopular and simply rejected by OTHERS who YOU allow TO JUDGE YOU AS A HUMAN BEING! The ANTI-Christ keeps you BOUND by the "false" promises created by your desire TO BE WORTHY of LIFE so you are too busy trying to fit the "false" mold and therefore do not develop your creative spiritual potential within! How dare YOU feel UNWORTHY because of believing the nonsense of the false "IMAGES"! PLEASE REMEMBER THIS TRUTH! YOU ARE GOD'S TEMPLE!
Advertisers are always selling "their image" of what you ones call "romance" and you are encouraged to think it means passionate "sexual" fulfillment. Your dictionary describes "romance" as: 1. A love affair. 2. A kind of love between the sexes, characterized by high ideals of devotion, and strong ardor. 3. Adventurous, heroic, or exotic nature: romance of far away places." When you crave romance, whether you know it or not, it does not mean "sexual" affair, dear ones, it means LOVE AFFAIR, you are craving to experience within you GOD'S LOVE OF LIFE, you crave to feel "ALIVE", ie.warm and intense feelings, eagerness and zeal. WHY? Because you are bored and spiritually unfulfilled with the self-created "limits" of your life. (Limits which the "controlled" media has set you up for in the first place.).You are out of balance and you are seeking to ignite your CREATIVE POTENTIAL WITHIN. ROMANCE is the promise of ADVENTURE and JOY for experiencing THE SPIRIT OF LIFE, OF GOD, within you. You see, ROMANCE is not sexual adventure or a place to go; it is your desire to feel and KNOW GOD within you. You can experience romance through the sharing of devoted and adventurous LOVE of LIFE with your mate. Regardless of what your media "hype" tells you, remember this, your desire for romance is your desire for CHANGE from a limited and spiritually unfulfilling existence, to recognizing and EXPERIENCING your UNLIMITED Creative Spiritual Potential within.
The next time you have a "sexual" urge, look around you, what have you been watching, reading or participating in which created this desire? Men, when you see a physically "beautiful" woman, is your FIRST thought admiration and appreciation of this GIFT of loveliness and do you wonder about the loveliness and beauty of HER SPIRIT? OR, instead, do you first wonder about the pleasure you would receive if you could have "sexual union" with her? And the same holds for you women who call yourselves "liberated" which usually means, "sexually" liberated and same equal "rights" as men to have many "casual" sexual encounters.
Recxognize that this "sexual urge" is really UNFULFILLED creative potential screaming to be released from the self-imposed "limit" or boundary of THE physical sexual ACT. Act: 1. To play a part of; impersonate. 2. To serve temporarily or as a substitute. To PRETEND." The sexual act is limiting, substituting and imperonating YOUR CREATIVE AND SPIRITUAL UNFOLDMENT TO KNOW GOD. When you truly understand and recognize this truth, your creative spiritual unfoldment can no longer BE FRUSTRATED AND LIMITED to the repetition of a silly and truly unfulfilling "sexual act."
Does this mean you are expected, by self and GOD, to STOP all sexual activity NOW? ONLY if it is YOUR choice made with the JOY of TRULY understanding and thus having the freedom of dewtachment from this "ADDICTION" and no desire to pro-create. For most of you, especially adults, "sexual behavior" has now become addictive, so you must treat it as such. Remove as much of the "temptation" from your presence as possible, just as the alcoholic must remove himself from "bars" and must remove the alcohol from his home. Be gentle with self, carefully abide by the list of TEN items above which are "STRICTLY FORBIDDEN" sexual behaviors (including Adultery). If yiou are single or married and have addiction to the "sexual act", use occasional masturbation as the lesser of the evils "if you must." If you are happily married and both have "enjoyed" your addiction to the monogamous mutual masturbation of your sexual act, both partners will need to become detached for the addiction to bed gone.
So be gentle with self and your mate, but be aware and responsible to "consequences" (such as pregnancy).and persistent in your goal (to self) to release and detach from ALL things of Physical Manifestation. Simply RECOGNIZE without punishing self with guilt and shame that this is a transgression against the Creative spirit of life within you. For a time accept that you will have desire because you are "addicted" and many of you understand it as an "extension" of your love. Do not punish self or other, let the "desire" dissolve naturally within each partner. As you begin the unfoldment and adventure of discovering YOUR creative spiritual potential, you will be surprised, because at some point you will find that the "sexual act" is no longe appealing to either of you. You will be detached and no longer have interest in it!

I was mostly a loner, still am, and as the only social spaces i truly was in, outside of family dinners, was school, i keep rwverting to how i saw all these people in school so naturally socialize, hangout, post online about going travelling together, they all have great jobs, and theres me, the outcast, the punching bag, i'm not saying this for any sympathy or simply to lament but, what is the point of me continuing?
It hurts like hell having been and now always gonna be remembered as the quiet loner, the weirdo with a serious facial expression, the one that people walked all over, complained that i didnt wanna mix with them, when really they'd just talk about me behind my back and were friends with people who would mock me, so why would i wanna even attempt to talk to people like that? Sometimes i think, "if i could go back" but i remember i wasnt comfortable and still am not, even with myself, i just am older now, but i am walking depression, i have gender issues, i am male but honestly i think a big reason i didnt mix was cause in my mind i pictured girl me, and yep...mentally i couldnt connect with the boys, being openly friends with the girls would have made me seem weird , gay, mocked more, so at first i chose the lesser or two evils...its tough though, even gay people back then the majority socially include anyways, but not me, i was put aside and i have difficulty living with these memories and notions, i wasnt just put aside, i was harassed, defamatee and treated like shit whilst mocked...
I am 30, i dont wanna be in this reality. I have no life, no job, my mother is in her 60s, she says me not having a job is causing her to have a nervous breakdown too, if she kicks me out, i think i'll just stay on the street and hope to die...i dont wanna be here and do not say therapist, sick of seeing those.

I am a 17-year-old male, and my friend is 18 and male as well . For almost three years, we attended the same high school. Despite having little in common and no similar interests, we formed an unexpected friendship that took both of us by surprise.
Our friendship is far from casual. It's more like "enemies to friends"—though not true enemies, our social circles had serious issues with each other. I was considered quite odd compared to everyone else in our class, often being labeled as in the closet, fruity, and even gay. My friend, on the other hand, is the complete opposite: masculine, deep-voiced, and an overall father figure.
This friendship is quite complicated. My friend is aware of my issues with my father and, being a father figure himself, he wanted to fill the emotional void my father left. However, I know this isn’t possible since the void is actually VERY deep and complex.
In this friendship, I see myself as the mature one. I overlook all the mistakes he makes, let almost everything slide, and wait for his apologies, which rarely come. Despite his efforts to make space for me in his life, he constantly falls short, and I don’t understand why.
For his senior year, he traveled to his home country. When he was here, he didn’t give me much attention, so I eventually got used to it. Now that he is lonely, he wants to video call like CRAZY. I find myself on FaceTime every two hours, which is especially challenging since this is my senior year as well.
As I mentioned earlier, I became accustomed to his neglect, even after he assured me he would always be there. Over time, I learned to be self-reliant and disconnected from him emotionally, a state he inadvertently encouraged.
Now, he is very sad and questioning if we are even friends. I try to reassure him that we are, and that’s genuinely how I feel. However, his repeated absences when we were in the same country left me feeling abandoned and taught me to fend for myself emotionally. Am I the AH for feeling and acting this way?