One guy and a bottle

So I was diagnosed with PCOS around 7 years ago and have been struggling with hormonal acne. Nawala naman sa pills but now that I stopped, bumalik with a vengeance.:( I've tried everything, from affordable products, expensive ones like Kiehl's, doing facials bimonthly at Skinstation with derma consultation, retinol, etc. Ang laki na rin ng nagastos ko. I also have pitted acne scars from doing facials throughout college and law school.
A week ago, I decided to visit my dermatologist at Asian Hospital again, Dra. Jane Padua-Arzadon. Sya lang naka-clear up ng skin ko when I was in high school but I had to stop kasi college was expensive. I knew it was going to be expensive so I waited until I had enough saved up. One week later, all my pimples dried up and my face isn't itchy anymore! Grabe if I went straight to a proper derma, I think I could have saved up more. Okay naman sa skinstation but I feel like the dermas there are limited to prescribing what the branch has/what their products are. Plus paiba-iba yung derma kaya parang hindi personalized yung pag-aalaga sa skin.
On my first week, she really worked on drying up my pimples and calming down my skin. I am currently on isotretinoin (na-accept ko nang given my skin condition, there's no way but to use isotret). No moisturizers and serums on my first week, just two toners that really helped the inflammation. Now lang ako ulit sa second week nagkaroon ng additional products to use.
I can also recommend Frezyderm sunscreen! The tinted one works so well sa textured skin, I didn't even use additional tinted sunscreen anymore kasi it evened out my skin tone already! It doesn't cake up and it really applies velvety. Pricey talaga but if it does the job of 3 products (SPF, tinted sunscreen, concealer), I can say na it's worth it.
Will update you guys soon!

So, he apparently had a crush on that girl since grade 5 and they got close only a year back. They had set up a date after he told her that he had feelings for her, he however had to stand her up due to some issues and she got back with her ex that very day. He still decided to remain friends with her.
He previously told me that they didn't speak but turns out they did. In addition, that girl has had a history of trying to be with guys who were already in a relationship, but idk her. They were talking on a regular basis and he himself told me that later. Due to all of this I asked him not to talk to her but it didn't work out and I asked him to unfollow her. I thought it was sorted but a few days back he texted him and sent him a follow rq and he did tell me and ask what he should do but I wanted to see what he'd do and let it be. Not only did he start talking to her again but he was very visibly happy too and told me that he felt guilty for unfollowing and not texting her.
I obv feel bad but idk if that is supposed to be a normal thing. How can one be friends with someone who they've had a huge crush on and idk I'm overthinking right now. What if he has some unresolved feelings for her or smth.

I woke up the other morning pretty pissed. A letter about code enforcement from the county bitching about my yard. The land has grown steep in parts, and i my attempt to mitigate damage done by previous owners, I ended up with a mound of debris that likes to grow weeds as well. I called them. Take down the weeds, they say, they will work on me with the debris.
I cannot seem to keep a string trimmer. I am less affluent than my neighbors and can only seem to afford weaker electric ones, and their batteries or really any part of them dies within the year. So, I decided to look into unconventional methods, and found how I might to take up scything.
I did a lot of research, and romanticized the idea of restoring a 100 year old American scythe like the men doing so on youtube. I immediately, late at night, searched up anybody selling some locally on FB marketplace. A man was selling two, for very cheap, very nearby. I messaged him and worked out the purchase. I fell asleep thinking of restoring the old instrument. I felt calm.
In my dream, I was bowing before three figures. One, a female, who was peeling a fruit that looked like a honeycomb full with red droplets of blood. One, a naked male with what looked like a viking helmet and a long, golden horn in one hand. The last figure I could not make out, just a scuffy, charcoal-like image on the edge of a shadow. I wept when I saw the second figure, begging him to interject on my behalf. I seemed to have entered the dream mid-conversation.
The two other figures looked to him, the woman looking on me with an almost doting expression of pity. The shadowy figure seemed to be whispering to them both in a language I did not know. Both the helmeted man and the woman nodded to it. The woman looked on me with a charitable sort of smile.
"You will have to give some token of your appreciation later." she says. Then there is a conversation I still do not remember. And I wake up. I forget the dream.
I am 34. I have several children. My two older kids want to go get the scythes with me. We hop in the car, and I drive around, getting tools to use in the restoration.
The man lives in a remote part of the next county over. It takes a while to find his house. He is waiting in his driveway. When I pull up, I immediately start feeling dread. I can't figure out why. He seems like a nice guy. Yet I feel something is off. I do some meditative breathing and calm down. I get out.
He tells me where he got them, and we talk a little. As soon as I pick up and hold one, I feel a brief moment of shock. Like in my legs and arms. I insist on ignoring the stupid feelings. I dismiss it as me being reclusive and not feeling social today. After putting the scythes in the hatch of the van, I come around to the driver side and stop dead.
The man is standing there with a piece of paper in his hand. It's a "million dollar question" he says. It's some kind of religious pamphlet on a fake million dollar bill. The man talks for a moment about death, about how we aren't going to be here forever, about how Jesus Christ is the only thing that will keep our souls from going to hell.
The whole thing redoubles the dread I feel. I am very polite and talk my way back into my car, feeling the dread mount more and more as I drive.
We stop at a light after an onramp. I am coming off an interstate turning left onto an intersecting highway. I try to breathe, feel very sick. While the light is red I for some reason decide to turn on some music, maybe it will calm me down. I get the urge to fiddle with spotify on my radio screen. I hear a loud beep. The light is green. I hesitate only a split second and then I start going.
Suddenly, a vehicle goes screaming in front of me. A red and white pickup truck. Has to be going 55 if not 65. It's a blur basically, even if I do make some of it out. I screech to a halt and then once the truck clears, complete my turn and immediately pull into the nearest parking lot, which turns out to be a bank.
My kids didn't even notice. Nobody seems to have appreciated but me how close we were to serious trouble.
As background. "Skeeters" in pickup trucks are a real pain here. They drive like dickheads, they are stereotypical as hell, and often I find that they instigate road trouble a lot. I don't know what it is about this area, but the "muh trukk" people seem to be way more prevalent than anywhere else.
Of course my reaction is rage. I wish I could have found this idiot who ran a red light and almost killed me and my kids. We were feet from a rather brutal collision.
I am exhausted by the time I get home. I disassemble the scythes and put the metal parts in a rust solution. I think about taking a nap and that is when the dream comes back to me. I remember the figures. And in my waking mind, I have theories on who they are. I do read a lot of old greek poetry and philosophy, so it could just be a coincidence.
However. If three greek gods were indeed discussing my fate in a dream, and one decided to intervene on my behalf, thanks a lot. I will find some "token of appreciation" to give.

I watched almost every ep of RM but missed a few a few years ago. Today, I finally watched ep 464 and I could tell the writers put effort into talking about the Korean independence movement. The clues were good and the ep was meaningful. I teared up at the video they showed at the end. This is just one of the many well-written episodes, what do you guys think are some that were written well?

Doing an RTG with Grimsby town and doing my best to keep it realistic.
As I am doing really well big clubs are coming in for my players constantly. I know it’s realistic that if a championship club comes in they would likely go.
What is a realistic amount of time to keep someone before allowing them to go?
Do you decline the first one but when others come back in you go let them go?
Is it realistic to say I want to keep the player for at least 1 full season no matter what the offer is?
What rules do you guys have on RTGs to keep it realistic?

i am a guy, will be 18 in june of this year. i dated a guy, james, and he was someone i used to be super close with when i was younger. one evening when i came home i saw james trying to get on top of my best friend but she was too small and weak to fight against him. luckily i saved my best friend before he did anything. james walked out angrily like i did something bad. for the rest of that evening, i just comforted my best friend, listening to what was going on. just so you guys know, my best friend already had bad stuff happen to her in the past, so this triggered something for her and now she's going insane. james came back to my apartment a few days after what happened and tried to apologize, so i listened. he said that he couldn't control himself. i tried to ignore him but my love for him got the better of me. skip to a few days later when i'm chilling on my bed watchinf netflix and james tries to do the same thing he did to my best friend to me. i screamed, fought, and ran. called the cops. they arrested him, and my neighbors say that they heard the screams as well. i don't know what's going to happen to james, but i know that he was arrested by his own father. it hurts a lot because i really love him, and deeply i regret yelling that night. it's been hard to eat for the past month, thinking about what's been going on. james broke up with me not too long after the incident and i just wish i stayed quiet that night.

This is my first time here. Situation I am describing is a very known situation at many households. But this is happening to me AGAIN and AGAIN.
So, I have an ailing Father in law, completely paralyzed with tracheostomy tube, feeding tube and a catheter, whom we are caregiving in a Tier 2 City since 5+ years, I work from home . I have suffered a missed miscarriage and had a D&E after that in September 2023 at around 12 weeks marks. SInce then we are trying and not had a success. My sister-in-law lives in same city so she comes to support the care. I am a secondary caregiver as I am the only one who is earning. My husband is on career break as the Staff is not permanent & load of caregiving is huge. My mother in law expired in 2020.
My sister in law since marriage was a person I always had doubts on. I make friends for life once I get to know them, but here even if the dynamic was weird, I gave her lots of benefit of doubt & she proved me wrong always. She and my MIL were best friends. They had never included me the way a daughter in law should have been included. So because of my mothe r in law, the home was always under her control. Whenever I used to come, I was being indirectly commented on our stuff lying here and there(we were not having any room, so obv it was to be taken in and out of bags), SIL used to say in a really really bad tone blabbering and going here and there " why do people bring stuff if they don't know how to place" the etc. in short I was never allowed to even touch or know things in house. It has to be done by my sister in law always. For smallest of things, she was always given preference. Please don't take me wrong, but I am from a home where we are 2 sisters and obv I was being trained to handle all the things so that I never ever become dependent. And here I am in a household, where I am being told, "you won't be able to do this" to everything I wanted to attempt. All what I had to do is cooking, which I didn't know much. Btw I was the only working lady that time.
Anyway I don't want to go to my MIL's drama because that was HORRIBLE and I thank God every day for relaxing me!
This is not the first time SIL has done maligning/ bitching, she has been involved to malign the image. It has never happened anywhere that people don't come to talk to me, because I generally listen to the problems and I am amicable! I have lived in Chennai, Mumbai, Pune, but it is only here that I couldn't foster any relationships with anyone! It always was a thought in me which I didn't know had a solid cause. I caught her tarnishing my image on camera (we kept it for FIL) blabbering things like : "She has eaten crab" (Kekde khati hai) which I haven't, I have had fish 2-3 times in my whole life, these guys are purely vegetarian, which I was as well, but I had just shared it with her as a thing! "She is putting pressure on my brother so that we have a fight, and now he came to beg sorry that I did a mistake"(Ary masi, ese hi koi nai karta, jab tak upar se pressure nai aata , and aaya tha maafi maangne fir, ki mujhe maaf kar do, ye to chahti hai ki humari ladai ho jaye and toot jaye relationship) (which I never ever do, I come from a joint family and such adjustments are inbuilt in my nature)
When my husband and herself caught covid, they were isolated, I was at my mother's place and rushed back to support them and fully supported them for 2 weeks managing my work alongwith. Later on during 3rd wave of covid, I had covid and I didn't even was asked for! I missed my parents a lot! She gave the most vile response in that conversation with her Masis. "She got Covid!, She got covid!, Now she will make sure to come to our father's room" (That had broken me that time) (Ab ho gaya usko!, ho gaya!, Ab to aur ayegi papa ke room me) (with an intention to kill him)(I have been dealing with a tough situation where it affected my marriage the most and I had to voice my needs to them as noone was paying any attention to my needs and I wanted to have a family of my own during that time. It was 2020-21, I was 33)
I was a scared bird, I was so so scared of confrontation previously that she exploited a lot out of me. Their home is in a place where people have never gone out of the city so the thoughts are so weird when they see me doing it! For example : employing a maid! Now Imagine ! Her masis are equally involved. When my mother in law was dead, and the rituals were happening, people flocked and populated our home. MIL had 5 sisters, all of them bombarded in the tiny home! and then one of them started saying, "We didn't even get tea! She gets up at 7!"
I am harmless creature, who has never picked up fights, She is argumentative and of a nature where she has to win always which is through talking. I avoid it. If I talk, by hook or crook she will manipulate so that things are in her favor and last sentence is hers. She even called my parents and said "aap logo ko thoda encourage jitna karte ho aur karna chahiye" without my knowledge , and they were speaking for me! and I was at a different city. That was my tipping point! I came back, ignored her for 3 days finally bursting on her. She argued that "are they nothing for me", I said you are not allowed to call without my knowledge, you have to go through ME!!
Coming to problem:
My sister in law just had a baby who is 6 months now. after my miscarriage! 2-3 days before, she left her phone at our place,and asked to forward a number from her mobile. My husband forwarded it and then sifted through her chats. He got into a chat with their cousin sister where my sister in law described me as
"I stopped you to go and made her (me) to go because she puts evil eye on my kid and my baby has stopped drinking milk, you are of pure heart, but not everyone is like that, we dont know what's going on in other's mind"
"Ary behna! Bura mat maniyo, wo nazar lagati hain HAMESHA, Ab bechari doodh bhi nai peeti dhang se, tera dil to saaf hai, lekin sabka nai hota"
I was aghasted by this chat comment. All I gave was a genuine love for the purest soul who is infront of us!
All I do is my job in the only room at this house. Previously I was so disturbed that I took psychologist's support! Can you believe it! SIL problems to psychologist!! And After she had a baby, she became better I thought so, so I forgave her and interacted, went to her home as well. Then I backtraced and found another incident where I could connect the dots:
I was deliberately asked to prepare tea while at her home, her masi were also there, and her masi said, Let me prepare the tea, and she said I want to have her from only her hands!! (While in kitchen I found it weird but I gave her space and didn't come out), Later in remembered that she was feeding her baby! HOW PATHETIC! I am so so hurt by such things happening around me! One of her masi, couldn't bear children and "her nazar" has been talk of town always, another masi she was seperate from all sisters and minded her own business, she has "money" according to all of them(which is for sure hard earned and they are jealous that she earned, kept up with sasural, she didn't give a f**k to such chalak sisters ) her nazar is considered "killing/deadly"! She has been a very kind person when I met ! So when I heard about them from SIL I couldn't believe she is saying all that about her own masi! and now when I heard something about me all I could think of is 20 years in future people will still not talk to me because I put nazar! I thought of confronting her husband as he is humble , talking to her is exhausting and I feel talking doesn't bring any conclusion. I thought of never going to their home, I don't know how feasible that is, so my action plan is to never handle her baby and comment on her like : "dont put your baby with me, she will get nazar" . Or if her husband asked why are you not coming, then I will reveal. But I don't know I am getting anxious, something has shifted inside me for good.
I know this is a difficult phase of my life and I am trying for pregnancy can't leave this place until his father's death. I had been away from family in past and that made me more depressed and abandoned as my husband is crazy for his father and he left everything for him! So I couldn't even ask him during all these years of my needs. He was faced by his mother's death and an ailing father so naturally he had a reaction. I had survived a very very difficult phase alone, we both had different journeys for past 4 years. God has been very kind that my job was there throughout to support my family!
Any suggestions on how to deal are appreciated.

I need to preface this by saying that I am not interested in having a back-and-forth in the comment section. If you are interested in speaking with me, kindly message me in DMs.
I'm told women want a man who knows what he wants, so here's the whole nine yards. If there is anything here that you are not willing to accept, then don't. You will not change me now or years down the line. Obviously I intend to grow and mature (as one ought to), but I have decided who I am and what I want out of a relationship.
I am looking for a woman that I can make a permanent covenant bond with; I have no interest in flings or "long-term relationships."
I don't intend to come across as bitter or angry with any of this, just clear and up-front. It makes things easier for both of us.
Age gap is not mandatory. Don't be put off contacting me if you are closer to my age.
A bit about me:
My faith in Christ is paramount in my life. I would not be where I am without him. In taking interests in various things, I've learned a lot about God's character and design. Each new thing I learn fills me with more worship of him and wonder at his works. It is very important to me that you share this admiration of God.
I have a full-time job that I am very satisfied with, but what I feel truly passionate about is art and storytelling. To be honest, I've hit a bit of a block lately as far as my output. But I've been trying to find my feet so I can make something valuable to share with the world. I think that art and stories are a fundamental part of being human, not just a luxury. So pretty much any kind of art will spark passion in me, be it music, cinema, video games, literature, video essay, sculpture, etc. I could go back and forth for hours on a lot of things. My hope is that you and I will be able to enjoy art together and create some of our own.
I frequently spend time with another gentleman from my Church and we enjoy conversations about personal projects and contemporary issues, along with walks along beaches and park trails. He is a very important friend in my life, and I am lucky to know such a kind soul. Things aren't well with my family, so I really need that kind of presence.
While I rely on my bicycle for transport (no car), it's not a problem for me. I've been riding bikes since I was in elementary school (maybe even before). It would be really nice to ride down some trails with you.
What I expect from you:
-You need to be a follower of Jesus Christ. God needs to be an active part of your life because I intend to raise our children under Biblical values.
-You need hobbies and interests apart from me. I'm fine with helping you find things you like.
-You need to be a virgin.
-You must be humble and respectful. "Boss babe" attitudes are not attractive to me.
-You cannot have any tattoos or piercings, or have undergone any kind of surgery that affects your reproductive organs (reassignment, colpocleisis, FGM, tubal ligation, etc). I am not a doctor, so I don't know every situation that could require surgery. If you've had to undergo surgery or medication because of circumstances beyond your control, please let me know; I'm willing to hear your side of things.
-No cosmetic products. It's not good for your body and I am attracted women, not makeup. This includes fake nails and fake eyelashes. I don't need you to look "pretty." You character is more important to me.
-Related to the previous, no use of image filters in photos. I do not like the type of people who are vain and vapid enough to feel the need to use filters on their photos.
-Again related to the previous, you need to have a limited social media presence. If you have a business or post something of value (like art, for example), then I have no problem. What I'm talking about is having an Instagram or Facebook account where you make random posts to nobody in particular to "update" the internet on your life or post tons of pictures of yourself online. Basing your self-worth on the comments and likes from strangers on the internet is unhealthy, and I find people's obsessive need to take pictures of themselves very unattractive and vain.
-If we marry, I expect you treat me as the head of the house. There can't be two leaders in a household because one will have to defer to the other.
-I expect you to view marriage as something that you put work into. Marriages are a team effort, so I expect you to be a help meet.
-You need to treat me like a partner, not an adversary. Getting into arguments and nagging me helps neither of us. You must have conflict-resolution skills and a solution mindset.
-You need excellent communication skills. This means understanding yourself, putting your thoughts into words other people can understand, and verbalizing things rather than expecting me to read your thoughts.
-You cannot play games with me. Telling me about other guys to make me jealous or planning dates for specific days to pressure me into committing to you are wicked and manipulative.
-While we are dating, you cannot have a "backup plan." I expect you to not be splitting your attention between me and other men. This includes spending time outside of work with other men (family excluded).
-You must be in shape. Don't be dishonest with yourself about your weight; check your BMI. This includes being underweight, anorexic, and bulimic.
-You cannot have taken any COVID-19 vaccinations from any provider.
-No smoking, drugs, or drunkenness.
-I expect you to completely renounce fast food if we date or marry. We will never feed our children McDonald's.
What you can expect from me:
-While we are dating, I will not be speaking to other women.
-I cannot meet your height, money, or attractiveness expectations. I am simply an average dude. I am critical, abstract, and imaginative in my thinking though.
-I will not ask you to do something that is unreasonable or demeaning. I will only ask of you what I expect from myself. No relationship is going to be 50/50 100% of the time, but I will put forth the effort I am able to. I expect the same out of you.
-I will not raise my hand against you. My hands will be a safe place for you.
-I will be available to listen to your troubles and help you bear through them.
-I will not demean you or humiliate you, whether or not you are in the room.
-I will show leadership in our house and exercise restraint with a mild temper.
-I will cherish you and treat you as my own body.
-I will devote myself to displaying my love for you in a language you understand, even if I am feeling distant from you because of troubles we face. I expect the same from you.
-I will not turn to another woman and betray you.
-I intend to keep every promise that I make with you.
-I will treat our children with patience and kindness, but diligently discipline them and instruct them appropriately.
Please tell me a bit about yourself and what you expect out of a relationship, but be practical and clear. A list of platitudes like "loyal, honest, etc" does not help me understand what you're looking for. Think about what your expectations look like in a tangible, everyday way.

This girl, let’s call her Emma, only joined our friend group because I had set her up with my boyfriend’s college roommate. We had always had mutual friends but were never that close. At one point she suggested we become roommates, and while I was initially excited, I learned she was applying to be an RA so I declined because I did not want to be left searching for a roommate last minute. Little did I know, that this would have caused her to possibly not like me. It first started small, I have ASD and am sensitive to loud sounds. Our friend group would hang out and play card games and she would yell and become extremely competitive so much so that I decided I would avoid playing games with her altogether and not say anything. Then she would only be kind to the guys in our friend group, particularly my boyfriend. She made comments about how she was so short and wanting to compare hand sizes with my bf. I felt uncomfortable but shrugged it off. One day, a couple in our friend group asked me for help as her boyfriend didn’t know what to get her for Valentine’s Day. I asked my boyfriend to help him and thought that was the end of it. Later, as I was sitting with another friend group Emma was in for lunch, she criticized me for being pushy and getting involved when I wasn’t asked to. I corrected her but was weirded out that she would bring that up in front of so many people. My boyfriend this entire time was encouraging me to not judge her as maybe she didn’t mean to do these things. At other lunches, she also would criticize her boyfriend and my other friends to her friends who didn’t know them that well. I was extremely uncomfortable and decided to schedule a group talk so we could fix this situation. Everyone in the friend group talked about their issues with her and gave her the space to explain and address her issues with us. We asked that she at the very least address the issues with us first before talking to people we didn’t know. She agreed. The next day however she came up to me and listed more issues she had with me that was all from her eavesdropping so almost none of it was accurate. She suggested I was homophobic even though I am I have expressed to her multiple times that my sexuality is complicated as I am attracted to women but have been SA’d. She also started faking ASD I had previously told her my symptoms. For instance I struggle with change, like a routine, and can get overstimulated. She then lamented about having to change her wallpaper. The next night she started hitting herself and acting dramatic to Lofi music when I have seen her listen to it before. She then threw temper tantrum on the floor for two hours claiming that her routine would be changed When previously, she had done something similar and did not act like this. My boyfriend even took note and said he was uncomfortable. As someone who has this disorder, I was extremely upset. Then everything sprung out of control because my friends were continually telling me things she had said about me. One day somebody came up to me and told me she was cheating and flirting with other people. This person lived in the dorm beside her and showed me a screenshot as proof. However, the profiles were removed, so I couldn’t determine if it was her or not. Being worried about it I asked some of our mutual friends if they knew anything. I maybe shouldn’t have at this point. I was worried about her boyfriend. In the end, we told the boyfriend that we didn’t know for sure but someone had mentioned cheating. I couldn’t give her the benefit of The doubt anymore. Soon, there was a miscommunication and she couldn’t go to an event. My friends are planning event event. at that event, one of my friends male ended up, kissing her boyfriend. This was because of jokes they were continually making and wasn’t serious at all. In fact, both of them were dating women. If anything, she was encouraging these jokes and said quotation marks on multiple occasions that they should kiss. my other friend took a picture and sent it in the group chat after asking Emma‘s boyfriend if it was OK. She stopped talking to us after that point. I asked her friends if they knew anything about this and expressed confusion relating to the situation. I sent a message and asked her if she could talk to us about why she was upset with us as she had already talked to her boyfriend. After 24 hours and much debate , I sent her a message and said I no longer wish to continue our friendship, but we did not need to make it a serious big issue and I would just prefer if we dropped it and didn’t have any ill feelings toward each other, and talk about each other badly. She screenshotted this message and sent it in the group chat. She then attacked me and said that we were never her friends and said that I had called her homophobic, toxic, and said a wide variety of things that I had never said to her about or to anyone before that. I soon noticed were people were ignoring me because of this. I only corrected what she said to the people I cared about and tried to ignore the situation. I don’t know what to do as she is actively trying to destroy my life.

6 months ago I was sexually harassed at a swimming pool by a lifeguard.. they knew I was trans(my mom did the mistake of telling them in order to try to avoid transphobia and unfortunately backfired).. one of the lifeguards reached under my skirt and touched my private parts. Long story short couple days after this they made something up and kicked us out of the pool.
Since having this agressive incident of transphobia my social anxiety and depression increased to all time high.. and I couldn't leave the house(other than working)
There was times I wasn't even showering for days, my room was an absolute mess, I've gained 50 pounds, my boyfriend left me(we are still friendly), and all this culminated with struggling financially as well..I had some other "minor issues" like experiencing transphobia from my dad as well and having some trouble at work(due anxiety) and stop talking to my friends(which is another story of itself)
I'm doing a bit better now, I've already lost 7 pounds 🙂.. but I'm still struggling getting over this trauma, and I've lost so many things in my life because of it. I know it's probably not that a big of a deal but I'm struggling getting back to before all this.
I'm way more self conscious than I already was.. pretty much everything triggers my dysphoria much easier.
Do u guys have any tips or ways u got yourselfs out of depression/trauma? Thanks ❤️‍🩹

Does this mean it’s dying, or I’m gonna die in my sleep tonight?
I have two neighbors just seemingly going about their business. One was doing laundry. The other is a like super manly union guy. He left though and I was gonna ask him what it meant now I’m extra nervous 😭😭

tl;dr: my husband gets super insecure in my choice of massage therapists who give erotic services. How to ease his insecurities?
My husband of 7 years and I opened up our marriage several months ago. We were on our way to getting massages to getting massages at a men's spa, which had rumors of happy endings happening. We discussed the possibility of us being offered one.
In the end we agreed it would be ok, but only a happy ending. No kissing, blowjobs or anything more. Sure enough, both of our respective (male) massage therapists offered us one. I accepted and he didn't. We went a second time a few days later and that time he accepted and enjoyed it.
We've had several more since then and he's also allowed me to play with strippers during private lap dances. He proposed more rules such as needing to inform each other that we're going to get one and to tell each other the details (i was offered to be fucked twice). I agreed.
Each time he throws a fit about the guy I choose for me, how he has a 6 pack, super athletic, in other words everything I'm not. Of course I'm going to choose a guy I'm attractive to. But that doesn't mean I'm losing attraction for my husband. He's afraid that I'm getting bored of him and that I would leave him (I won't). Each time I offer to close our relationship. He said no because I would grow resentful of him (I won't).
He also thinks I want to get into polyamory (no thanks, one relationship is more than enough for me 🫠). But since we go to spas often, I do want to partake in the cruising I often witness some day.
It's tiring and I don't know what to say to him. It's a vicious cycle.
What are your thoughts?

So I have plenty of issues with my marriage but for some reason this one really stands out. My husband (40) and I (41) have been together for 15 years and married for ten.
Ive never been the least bit bothered by porn, which he does partake in (as do i on a more seldom occassion), but in the last year or so ive noticed that he follows a lot of hot girls in instagram.
I just dont get it. i dont follow guys on instagram just bc theyre hot. it doesnt make me feel good. hes done a lot to make me not feel good...recently hes gotten on medication and suddenly in the past month has acted nicer and more appreciative than ive seen in years.
But i am worried ive checked out. i lost 30 pounds and have been throwing a lot of time and money at my appearance in the past couple years. amidst getting nitpicked and nagged at by him for all my percieved shortcomings and glaring flaws, ive just been appreciating me. after 14 years of zero crushes on other men ive had two in the past year. seriously all it takes is for a guy to be cute and pffer a fleeting percieved glance of admiration and to be nice and im so appreciative of it. i both enjoy feeling that again and resentful im that desperate.
and now my husband is finally acting how i have been wanting him to since we had kids seven years ago and im relieved to not be walking on eggshells or feeling like hes judging me, but hes lost his luster. hes just a guy who looks at hot chicks on instagram and worked overtime to blame me for every bad feeling.
even years ago he switched his instagram description from "just pics from my life and my family" to no reference to our family and no pics of anything but his projects and cars. his facebook profile pics havent included me for years. i actually realized that this past weekend and scrolled thru my profile pics that are just me and him for the past seven years and switched it to one of me and my boys.
i just feel that ive endured years of him checking out of his adoration of me and these are tangible pieces of evidence of that...im tired of not feeling good. in the past month since hes flipped a switch he also bought me an anniversary band a month after our ten year anniversary. its like once he started feeling better emotionally he got nicer and suddenly wanted to do something nice for me. i wouldve relished this stuff even a year earlier i would be thrilled right now.
but ive spent years with him nagging and yelling and grumbling and taking me for granted and even threatening divorce when he was miserable with a couple different jobs, while i was slowly finding ways to feel at peace outside of him.
ive recently read about the walk away wife syndrome and i hate that emotionally thats where im at. i dont want to ever get divorced. i want our life forever. i dont want our kids to have two homes. i want to just fully embrace the sweet attentive person my husband has become the past month. im not sure if this new "him" will last, so ill continue to plan to embrace the things about myself and my life beyond him. what scares me is if this medication is helping and hes taking a turn for better for good, wouldnt it be depressing if he waited too long, after years and years, and only gets his issues under control once i checked out? the instagram thing sounds silly but it's just this huge representation of the ways he DOESNT make me feel special or cherished, and my silly little crushes recently have been vague glimpses into feelings im clearly missing and craving.

Hey there. Just wanted to get the community's feel on how things are going. The one thing that kind of pops up every now and then is: Should we allow post that are not strictly sprites? Or even not strictly games?
Also, are there any other thoughts or suggestions you guys have? I have added a note during submissions to remind posters to state the content's origin, but I don't particularly like the draconian method of auto-removing posts that forget to list it. There have only been a few that were not obvious and that were not posted right away, and it only takes a sec to ask for the source, usually.

Me (29M) and my girlfriend (31F) have been together for 4 years. We've had our ups and downs like any couple, maybe a little more extreme in some places, but nothing too crazy.
For the past few days I've been noticing that she's been distant, hasn't wanted to hangout or cuddle or anything that we normally do together, she just started acting different.
If you've had this happen, you'll know that a million and one things can go through your mind and there isn't anything you can do about that until you talk to them about it, so I brought it up.
She said that she has not been feeling the same way about me and our relationship and she needs some space.
I said alright, elaborate and if you need space, that's fine, we can do that, but I need to know if it's anything I've done that's made you feel like that.
She said that ever since she's started going back to the gym and changing her eating habits and everything else, that she started to remember what it was like before we met, the kinds of things she would do and how "free" she felt.
For clarity, we moved in with each other after 3 months, it was covid and we got comfortable, weight was gained, but it is what it is.
So we've been going to the gym, eating right and everything has been fine. But apparently she's been feeling like this for weeks.
So, after we talked about it and she told me that there is nothing I've done, she feels like this because of her and how she is.
My response was that if she needed space, I can give that to her and she doesn't have to worry about me trying to talk to her unless is necessary and how if she wants to come and chill with me, that's fine, but I'm not going to push for anything or go seeking her out.
I asked if she was going to talk to other guys and she said she wouldn't be making a Tinder, or anything like that, but if someone talked to her and she felt something stronger than what she feels for us or the life we've built, that she would let me know and we should end things there.
I agreed and I went to the bedroom where we've spent every night together for the past years and broke down some, I'm not sure if she heard me, but she got in her car and left right after.
Currently I am lying in bed, getting ready to go to the gym to hop on the treadmill and not think about things for a little while, otherwise, I don't know what to really do anymore.
Bottom line is, I don't want the relationship to end and that's why I'm ok giving her this time. I don't think it's going to be months and months, but I also don't know if this is just going to be over in a week.
But, I want to know from other people that may have been in similar situations, what you guys would do/ have done and how I can help myself get through this.
Please ask any questions you need or want to.

6 months ago I was sexually harassed at a swimming pool by a lifeguard.. they knew I was trans(my mom did the mistake of telling them in order to try to avoid transphobia and unfortunately backfired).. one of the lifeguards reached under my skirt and touched my private parts. Long story short couple days after this they made something up and kicked us out of the pool.
Since having this agressive incident of transphobia my social anxiety and depression increased to all time high.. and I couldn't leave the house(other than working)
There was times I wasn't even showering for days, my room was an absolute mess, I've gained 50 pounds, my boyfriend left me(we are still friendly), and all this culminated with struggling financially as well..I had some other "minor issues" like experiencing transphobia from my dad as well and having some trouble at work(due anxiety) and stop talking to my friends(which is another story of itself)
I'm doing a bit better now, I've already lost 7 pounds 🙂.. but I'm still struggling getting over this trauma, and I've lost so many things in my life because of it. I know it's probably not that a big of a deal but I'm struggling getting back to before all this.
I'm way more self conscious than I already was.. pretty much everything triggers my dysphoria much easier.
Do u guys have any tips or ways u got yourselfs out of depression/trauma? Thanks ❤️‍🩹

Hello everyone! My name is Anna, I am 22 years and from the Netherlands (but casting my web worldwide as I will explain later). I’m blonde, quite tall with 5’7” and I am quite active. I love to go snowboarding, wakeboarding, and you can often find me in the gym or on the treadmill.
Right now I am finishing my undergrad in life sciences. Once I’m done later this year I have two deep wishes. 1) I finally want to visit Asia! I love traveling but never made it there. 2) I want to spend a few weeks in the USA exploring different cities because I’d love to do my postgrad somewhere there. I studied one semester in the UK which was incredible and I hope to do this again but now in the USA.
As to what ‘type’ I’m into it’s quite broad. Well I am generally attracted to older guys, or at least guys who are mature enough to know what they want and have a good conversation. I’m not gonna put an exact number on it but if you could be my dad we’re still ok, if you could be my grandad probably not lol. I’m also usually not really into K-pop type of guys who are all stylised and perfect. I’m more into guys next door, like someone who could be your friendly neighbour or someone you run into in the supermarket lol. Also - not a must - but I like guys with a bit of meat around the bones.
More details about me. I guess I’m a typical Dutch person lol. I love cheese, I cycle everywhere, and I can be quite straight to the point (if it’s too direct you can totally just tell me straight to my face). I also looove spicy food. Last month I tried Sichuan food for the first time and my mind and taste buds were blown away. I've also started trying to learn Mandarin last year but it's damn hard.
If you’re interested to just get to know each other then please reach out. Since I do have a few travel plans I’d be happy to talk to people all over the world because you might become my reason to visit your city or country haha. As a few conversation starters, here are some suggestions:

• What’s your name and age?
• Can you describe your looks and body type?
• Which country in Asia should I absolutely travel to after graduation and why?
• What’s your favourite subreddit on here?
• What are your kinks if you have any?

That’s it for now!
Oh yeah I’m a night owl by the way lol so time difference might not be that much of an issue
PS. If your response to a long post like this is "hey" then we're probably not going to be a match.

Alright, so this is probably gonna be short because there's no lyrics yet and i have an auditory processing disorder BUT! I think I can make out what is being said (found the lyrics as i was writing the post, prepare for this to be a long one)
little background info: Amnesia is loss of memory, these can be experiences, facts about yourself, etc etc. Everyone knows that trope in fiction where guy hits their head and forgets who they are, that's generalized amnesia, super rare, usally it's more localized/selective (specific period of time or memories related to a specific thing). Dissociative Amnesia is the term for when amnesia has a psychological origin instead of a physical origin, usually caused by trauma or other intensely stressful events. I know a lot about that 'cus I got dissociative amnesia
ANYWAY
now that that has been explained, here is my EVIDENCE!
"Did it really happen or were they pieces thrown around, the past is built on lies and one word could break it down" not 100% sure I wrote that right, but whatever. I think this line could be about a false view of the past as a result of dissociative amnesia and that "one word" or piece of evidence could shatter that because they could realize they don't remember something (most people with dissociative amnesia don't realize what they don't remember unless it's pointed out)
"Floating recollections scanning for patterns to compare" This line seems to indicate the protagonist (speckle) can remember some things around the event/events/period of time that is forgotten and is trying to compare fragmented memories "floating recollections" to piece together what happened
"The sweetness of your face, and the tenderness of your warm embrace, somehow they left a bitter taste." I think this line indicates the dissociative amnesia was caused by a person, perhaps someone who caused severe stess/trauma after appearing to be nice.
"There's nothing to trace, painful times they were all erased"
I think this means that the painful memories (trauma/severe stress, maybe something else) were "erased" as is the thing that happens with dissociative amnesia
"And yet my body's screaming don't make the same mistakes"
I think this is talking about their behaviour still being influenced by the events, despite the lack of recall ability, as events that were forgotten with dissociative amnesia are not actually "lost" in the brain per say, but have been shown to often still influence behaviour even if they cannot be consciously recalled.
"Can I go ahead and surrender, to the visions that I just can't remember" This is an interesting one, some people who have past trauma they can't remember will have flashbacks that they can't remember the content of once they end (I would know, I get these)
"Reveal all the trauma I suffered I'll relive it all to be born much stronger"
I think this is about the dissociative amnesia being remembered/finding out about the events another way
"Then there's no way someone else can repeat What you did to me"
Sounds like the person is not wanting to get over the trauma and keep it in their head so they're always prepared for the future if/when something like that were to happen again
""Did that really happen?" Thoughts into voices now reshaped"
Perhaps doubting that it really happened if the dissociative amnesia hasn't fully lifted or simply denial?
"I wished for recovery But was given no escape"
This could be interpreted quite a few ways, could be that the person was unable to escape during the trauma (as is often the case with complex traumas, the type that is more likely to cause dissociative amnesia) or is unable to escape the memories of the trauma in their mind, perhaps both.
"Now I see through all your endeavours And the sinful scars that I'll hold forever"
I think this is about them being able to see through the person who caused the trauma's facade of niceness or something like that, and about the permanent mental scarring(or maybe physical too) as a result of the trauma
"Was there any chance for me to run Was there something different that I could've done"
Ruminating over the trauma/blaming self for it possibly.
"I'm left with a mangled mind that repeats What you did to me"
Sounds like it's talking about flashbacks/intrusive memories as a result of PTSD, and a "mangled mind" meaning all the consequences of that.
"There was a reason they were thrown away Why they were locked behind from my display"
Possible regret from finding out the memories? In therapy it's often approached very carefully as when the amnesia lifts a lot of terrible emotions can bubble up really fast.
"And now my memory's in disarray It forced a reinstall Remember to forget them all"
Not entirely sure what this means but maybe it's about still-existing gaps in memory because of the amnesia or the memories were remembered suddenly and "forced" back and now want to be forgotten again
That concludes my lengthy interpretation of "Memory Merge" by Yonkagor! Perhaps the music video releasing tomorrow will shine more light on what this means!

Me (29M) and my girlfriend (31F) have been together for 4 years. We've had our ups and downs like any couple, maybe a little more extreme in some places, but nothing too crazy.
For the past few days I've been noticing that she's been distant, hasn't wanted to hangout or cuddle or anything that we normally do together, she just started acting different.
If you've had this happen, you'll know that a million and one things can go through your mind and there isn't anything you can do about that until you talk to them about it, so I brought it up.
She said that she has not been feeling the same way about me and our relationship and she needs some space.
I said alright, elaborate and if you need space, that's fine, we can do that, but I need to know if it's anything I've done that's made you feel like that.
She said that ever since she's started going back to the gym and changing her eating habits and everything else, that she started to remember what it was like before we met, the kinds of things she would do and how "free" she felt.
For clarity, we moved in with each other after 3 months, it was covid and we got comfortable, weight was gained, but it is what it is.
So we've been going to the gym, eating right and everything has been fine. But apparently she's been feeling like this for weeks.
So, after we talked about it and she told me that there is nothing I've done, she feels like this because of her and how she is.
My response was that if she needed space, I can give that to her and she doesn't have to worry about me trying to talk to her unless is necessary and how if she wants to come and chill with me, that's fine, but I'm not going to push for anything or go seeking her out.
I asked if she was going to talk to other guys and she said she wouldn't be making a Tinder, or anything like that, but if someone talked to her and she felt something stronger than what she feels for us or the life we've built, that she would let me know and we should end things there.
I agreed and I went to the bedroom where we've spent every night together for the past years and broke down some, I'm not sure if she heard me, but she got in her car and left right after.
Currently I am lying in bed, getting ready to go to the gym to hop on the treadmill and not think about things for a little while, otherwise, I don't know what to really do anymore.
Bottom line is, I don't want the relationship to end and that's why I'm ok giving her this time. I don't think it's going to be months and months, but I also don't know if this is just going to be over in a week.
But, I want to know from other people that may have been in similar situations, what you guys would do/ have done and how I can help myself get through this.
Please ask any questions you need or want to.