Clearly massive Spoilers for not only Wind, yet all of ASC, as this is more of a review of the current events.
Well! Upon finishing Wind and realizing in horror I'm waiting till NOVEMBER to finish this, and hoping to Starclan I still remember what happened by then, it feels right to just review the Arc as of now anyways.
I'm likely just going character by character, not literal event timelines. I'll review Nightheart, Sunbeam, Frostpaw, Splashtail, and Squirrelstar! Enjoy.

Nightheart.

Oh boy, this Man was the "Rootspring," of ASC. Really got on my nerves with his hypocrisy and shortsightedness at the beginning when he was still Flamepaw. He was always justified in his desire for his own legacy, but he also seemed to have a sense of self importance and expectations he had not earned. However, as he became Nightheart, things began to change.
I'll discuss the NightBeam/SunHeart ship as one right here, I absolutely support it. A healthy, no bullshit relationship of two cats who genuinely just respect and support each other. The amount of sheer willingness and support between these two cats all the way from book one to five is astonishing. Sun and Night both wholeheartedly comfort and aid the other in times of hardship, and both cats straight up made their mind with Clan swapping with no issue or regret. (Within reason, of course.) They are fully dedicated to each other and loyal to their family. They love and believe in each other, even when some parts of their lives go against each other, like Sun's reluctant attachment to Berryheart, who despises Nightheart. Night never brings her down or attacks her for still caring about her mother. That shows true understanding for who she is as a cat. This relationship I believe also played a tremendous role in Nightheart as a character.
Back to him alone, his connection and journey between Frostpaw and Sunbeam molded him into a loyal, courageous, and downright brave motherfucker and I like the Man. He is upfront, generally sensible in his thinking, compassionate, understanding, and humble, even taking responsibility for his younger issues at times. He has quickly turned himself around as a remarkable cat! As such I said, basically like Rootspring for me!

Sunbeam.

The perfect choice for Nightheart for sure. She's a cat caught in the dilemma of old and new family, new hearts and old, struggling to keep both intact, praying that both don't break. She holds herself together amazingly well, and she had the respect for not only Nightheart, but Thunderclan itself, that beyond even standing up to everyone she knew for Nightheart, she also dedicated her loyalty to Thunderclan beyond Nightheart, proving her change of heart was true. She stood firm in adversity such as Cherryfall with more maturity than I'd have shown that sabotaging cat, and most cherishingly, she held out for weeks and more with half the cats in the Clan and herself dreading if Nightheart had abandoned her, yet not for a moment did her trust in him falter, and their bond seemed even stronger when he returned. She quickly made great and honest bonds with Thunderclan cats including Squirrelstar and Nightheart's immediate family that consistently have hung on.
Sunbeam has shown herself brave, cunning, and sensible beyond average reason. She'll selflessly help cats of other Clans, and is the first to volunteer for dangerous quests and keep Nightheart out of mischief, ha! Sunbeam was asked to prove her qualities, and she has done so with great honor. She is one of the few who's loyalty to Thunderclan couldn't be questioned even after sneaking through Windclan territory to help her family, exiled from Shadowclan. She cares for both ends, yet weighs her priorities with care. I look forward to her development and closing arc!

Frostpaw.

Ah, the traumatized Apprentice No. 99938-something. Well, thanks to her good writing, she's proved to be far more than that. Frostpaw embodies a favorite quote of mine, "You wear your convictions well, they suit you."
Frostpaw is steadfast and bloody well resolute in her quest, and that is so astonishing because of how she began. Frostpaw was an innocent, fragile and scared cat at the start. She wanted Peace, yet knew nothing of conflict. By the end, she kept her goal for Peace, even after experiencing the horrors of conflict.
From the day she lay bleeding on the moor, I saw a fire light in her heart that drove her in spite of her many wounds, mental and physical to distant lands. She befriended lost cats, rival Clans, and through it all, her trauma and experiences did not further weaken or shake her resolve, yet seemingly hardened it in bloody iron. That passive, gullible innocent Apprentice matured in a shockingly believable heartbeat. Through meditation, reflection, and accepting of truths most Warriors cannot tolerate, she earned a self respect and wisdom greater than many cats. Yet, through all the strength and firm nature of her new guarded, and stricter soul, she only gained determination and respect for what she lost, aiming to restore Riverclan against any odds.
From a cat with a foolish blind crush, to wisely sparring in a bloody game with the false Leader, she holds her own with terrifyingly skill. I hardly know if she can fight a single Warrior, yet somehow she seems to be more suited to this conflict than any cat yet. Nothing has wavered her for long, and whatever has, seems to further invigorate her resolve.
Frostpaw has dealt with the betrayal of cats she trusted as family. She has had cats die for her, lie for her, and cats be hurt and broken for her. And she took none for granted. Whenever something shakes her confidence and beliefs, she comes right back to shake it twice as hard. My admiration for such a strong cat is immeasurably high! Frostpaw has suffered more pain and loss than any cat to the Arc yet. But, for all she has gained, partnerships and family now from nearly ever Clan, Tiger, Whistle, Night, she is ready to forge herself into a cat unbreakable. A legendary contrast to her origins, and I am stoked to see how it plays out.

Splashtail.

Ah, this bastard. This cat is basically a real Clan Darktail, but he pulls it off well.
The last chapter of Wind seriously put the last few pieces of his personality together for me. And I actually have a sort of hotter take on his behavior than many might have.
I do not believe Splashtail is outright ruthless and cruel "just because." Partially, I believe he suffers from a form of trauma suppression that is making him this way. We see that Curlfeather was the instigator for this, that Splashtail genuinely just wanted Riverclan secure, and swore he could do it better than it had. He respected Reedwhisker, and he seemed initially disturbed by the idea of so much... ill means to secure his own position, yet also a slight insecurity or distain for Curlfeather's own degrading outlook of him. Splashtail is ambitious, yet in his own beliefs, also highly loyal. I honestly got the feeling by the end of Wind, Splashtail basically had crossed the blood red line. He went arguably insane, as the last chapter of Wind actually hints at, likely due to a form of regret, a suppression of trauma of what he did. Basically he keeps doing more chaotic and cruel things similar to an addiction, because the withdrawal would mean facing the truth of what you've done. It's possible a form of guilt or conscious bore away at his sanity until he snapped it himself.
Splashtail seems to have a warped personal truth that he genuinely wants Riverclan to be... Gods. So powerful, it feels he may want that specifically because he has to give himself a valid reason that all this bloodshed and madness must earn Riverclan SOMETHING, or else he's truly mad. It's a form of self hatred that is twisting his morality, and I can see it in every word he makes. After all, in his own words about the blood red line, "If I'm already staining my paws with blood, why stop at one?" With Frostpaw... Harelight... I don't think his mind is his own anymore. His terror and anguish has controlled who he is now. Whatever sense of justice or loyalty he wanted to bring to Riverclan, is now a demented passenger to his new self destruction. I wonder indeed what it will do to him before the end.

Squirrelstar.

I believe... I was damn well right. People told me her actions in ASC were ridiculous and wrong, hypocritical even. And I thought, "Well, what's the context?" And I was RIGHT.
Squirrelstar has quickly become of the best Leaders I have witnessed.
I seriously think the Writing team created a whole new personality type that finally gives Squirrelstar some serious personality, because she operates as Leader in a way I've hardly ever seen.
She is incredibly thorough and devoted.
Squirrelstar has shown a perfect mix of extreme unrelenting authority that commands obedience, and absolute respect and love for her Clan and family that balances it beautifully. In the same sentence, she'll formally scold a cat for doing something logically stupid, yet also reason and level so kindly with them on an unofficially level. With Night, Sun, Tiger, Wasp, Waffle, so many! Her compassion and control are expertly blended and I couldn't be more proud.
Squirrelstar is beyond correct regarding the Riverclan situation. People said it was hypocrisy, because she replaced Bramblestar when he was too "lenient." But that was a different time, and when she became Leader, she understood.
Bramblestar was traumatized. He would've advocated for unconditional peace, whereas Squirrelstar is advocating for absolute peace through resolution, on the condition that Riverclan is willing to make the leap.
Tigerstar is absolutely justified and partially correct about his desire to just fix Riverclan by force, yet Squirrelstar also has great wisdom.
She cautions that forcibly ripping Riverclan's Leader away who they've scratched and clawed after for Moons without them actually consenting to it, would lead to a useless war with most of Riverclan that would cause immense unnecessary bloodshed thay no degree of power could stop. It doesn't matter how many Clans join, if Riverclan chooses to fight for Splashtail, innocent and misguided or not, Riverclan will likely bleed itself dry like a cornered animal, and Squirrelstar understands that remarkably well. Riverclan needs to ensure it has a proper rebellion in wait, so that Splashtail will be alone in his War; to minimize conflict and waste of life.
Yet, for any who still perceive that Squirrelstar is too reserved, she has wisely shown her claws furiously when threatened. She did everything short of literally skinning that Riverclan party who stormed into Thunderclan camp. She did not give a single solitary fuck what they felt or didn't. She outright made it explicitly clear that Splashtail does not scare her, she's only concerned about needless bloodshed. Not a cat afraid of War... but one who knows how to fight one.
Squirrelstar is beyond ready to cut Splashtail into little pieces for the fish. She waits for Riverclan... and as of Wind... I should assume her final decision will be swift.
Her words, her mannerisms, they're so unique to her. I've seen Squirrelstar use words that Warriors has literally never bloody used. I still swear the Writing team is shockingly determined to do her justice, and I eagerly await her future!
That is all for now!

I originally posted this with a throwaway but the automod ate it. So I'll just post it with my main account. Whatever. I'm kind of disgusted with reddit at the moment anyway.
This post is long so tl;dr you'll get masses of downvotes on reddit if you dare disagree with the line that sex is immutable. Even though it isn't. And it's not only rabid transphobes who will downvote you for it.
(Disclaimer: I'm writing from the perspective of a trans woman who has medically transitioned, mostly about trans women who medically transition. I suspect that most of the below applies to trans men who medically transition too if you flip some of the terms, but at this point I'm going to shift back into my lane, stop speaking about trans men, and let them speak for themselves.)
There was a post on atheism on Friday made by a trans person who had been hurt by something transphobic that Richard Dawkins had said. Cue tons of gaslighting in the comments claiming that what he said wasn't transphobic (it was) and mass downvoting of people criticizing Dawkins or supporting trans people. People pointing out that medical transition can change your sex were predictably also downvoted despite it being scientific reality. There were no counterarguments: just slurs, bigotry, and accusations of mental illness. For self-proclaimed atheists a lot of them sure like to cling to disproven transphobic dogma, and for supposed materialists they sure like to cling to metaphysical woo when it comes to biology.
"But chromosomes!" "But gametes!" They're both irrelevant in an adult human who has undergone gonadectomy. Brain/behavioral sex, hormonal sex, and genital sex are far, far more important (and they don't all need to line up in order to classify someone as male or female). But many people stubbornly cling to chromosomes and gametes. Why? Because we can't (yet) modify those in trans people to match their acquired sex. (We can make gametes and gonads N/A and that doesn't seem to be an issue for them with cis people but mysteriously it's not good enough when it comes to trans people. Actually it's not a mystery: it's just transphobia.) They're desperate to have some sort of defense no matter how ridiculous and flimsy for continuing to treat us badly and not treat us as our acquired sex.
(The next two paragraphs are about my experience personally and not all trans women.)
My chromosomes are probably XY. (You probably won't get done for speeding on I-95 but you'll still see someone who has been pulled over by police every twenty miles or so.) If I'd been able to click my fingers and change my chromosomes when I began transitioning then it would have achieved nothing for me. I'd still have needed HRT and SRS to treat my dysphoria. I'd still have undergone gonadectomy, rendering what my chromosomes are and what gametes I would have produced moot. Transphobes would have found some other justification for being shitty to me. If they claim otherwise then they're lying. Perhaps they'd latch onto my "socialization" ignoring the fact that trying to socialize a female brain as male doesn't produce a male brain: it produces a traumatized female brain. Perhaps they'd simply leap straight into spiritualist bullshit and insist that the magical sex fairy declared me male and that can never be changed. It doesn't matter because they're not arguing in good faith.
My brain/behavioral sex has always been female. I simply repressed it for a long time because I grew up in a hateful environment. Additionally, without going into gory details: pubertal testosterone didn't do everything it was supposed to in me. One more datum in support of the theory that some trans women have busted or wonky androgen receptors. To describe me as "male" now or even to say that I used to be "male" is incorrect and ignorant of biology. By the way: if someone would have described me as "male" before I transitioned despite my brain/behavioral sex being female but they wouldn't describe me as female now despite my chromosomes (probably) being XY then they're being intellectually dishonest. (They also almost certainly wouldn't describe the sex of a cis woman with naturally elevated testosterone as "male".) At this point most of the factors that go into determining my sex are female, one is N/A, and as previously discussed chromosomes don't matter because I'm not a fetus. Therefore I'm female now. End of discussion.
(End personal stuff.)
There was also a comment about how outing oneself as trans to every Tom, Dickhead, and Harry in the medical profession can lead to worse health outcomes for trans people because of bigotry, incompetence or ignorance leading to checking for the wrong things, trans broken arm syndrome, and incorrect reference ranges being used leading to false positives and false negatives. Of course it too was downvoted and lots of cis people bleated about how trans people supposedly need to come out to every medical person they meet. Hey dumbasses: I can't get testicular cancer any more and I'm effectively already taking treatment for prostate cancer, but I can get breast cancer and I need to watch for female heart attack symptoms. I don't have low testosterone: my testosterone is right in the middle of the female range. My medical risk profile is similar to that of a cis woman without ovaries or a uterus, and treating me like a cis man for medical purposes would be malpractice. But at least they got to be supercilious toward trans people while giving them bad advice that could result in them being maimed or killed. They can sleep well tonight. It must be nice not to have to be an amateur expert in your own healthcare in order to prevent the alleged real experts from fucking you up.
There was a post in AreTheStraightsOK yesterday about trans people, and one commenter stated that trans women can become female. It was downvoted. At this point I'm not even surprised that so-called allies want us to have some equality but not too much. They want us to be their token trans person to help them virtue signal in order to win online arguments and out-woke their frenemies. Oh aren't they so enlightened and tolerant referring to their trans woman friend as "AMAB" instead of "a man" and "they" instead of "he" as long as she behaves? They love the power of holding our identities over us, refusing to use the correct pronouns for us if we displease them, and misgendering us with AGAB terminology then crying "but it's just reality!" when called out on it. Yes I was "AMAB" and that has no relevance to almost everyone's interactions with me now. You (referring to these "allies") were a screaming little pissbaby when you came out of the womb. Are you still one? Should I bring it up whenever I talk about you?
And just to touch on the 'Queers for Palestine' idiocy and its members claiming they won't vote for 'Genocide Joe': those people would rather virtue signal for people who would execute them by throwing them off buildings than perform a real and meaningful action (vote Democrat) to help trans people in their own country avoid what would await them under a Trump presidency and a Republican-controlled congress. Who needs enemies when you have friends like those? (Of course they're silent about what's going on in Yemen, Sudan, and Myanmar.)
I won't be their good little trans token who will smile while they misgender and missex me in a politically correct way, tell lies and falsehoods about my biology, or condemn me to a Trump presidency so that they can stay in their handlers' good books and not feel slightly icky.
(I'm going to add a disclaimer before people who don't medically transition bite my head off. Here goes.)
I know not everybody wants to or can medically transition. I grew up in a poor household with bigoted parents. It sucked. But I needed to medically transition and I've made big compromises in my life in order to be able to transition: I left academia even though I would have liked to stay, I decided I wasn't going to have kids, I don't take vacations away from home, and I accepted a job with long hours, slightly dubious ethics, and a 24/7 on-call rota in order to afford medication and surgery. Medical transition ranked slightly after food and shelter in my personal hierarchy of needs. Not everybody has the same opportunities that I did. I hope I've demonstrated how important it was for me to medically transition, though.
If you want to medically transition and you can't then I feel for you. It is an extremely unenviable position and I know because I was in it for a long time. I hope you're able to medically transition soon. If you don't want to medically transition then that's great! Please don't try to hold back the people who do. Describe yourself as the sex you were assigned at birth if that works for you but don't demand that I do the same for myself.

So my girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. I know to some people our relationship does not seem like such a big deal because of our age and I get that but ok. So my girlfriend has had self image problems in her past. She always looked at herself and thought that she was really really skinny and she has always wanted to gain some weight. I’ve always found her pretty and I have made sure to show it to her as much as possible. Lately she has gained some weight and you can clearly see the difference. I’m very proud of her achieving her goal!! After gaining that weight and restoring her self image she has started posting more pictures of herself. Not inappropriate in nature or anything but she just posts more often. I’m obviously totally ok with that and I haven’t even mentioned anything to her. But what makes me feel a little weird is that she has removed every single picture of us together from her profile. She has removed a stories highlight on instagram which used to be very special to us because it contained everything we’ve done together. She has replaced her profile pics with pictures of herself and she accepts some guys’s follow requests even though she wouldn’t do that before. I haven’t mentioned anything to her as it might come out as toxic but I believe plenty of people will find this post toxic but idc. I know this whole social media thing is bullshit and totally unserious to some of your guys’s eyes but she’s been quite different in that aspect which made me feel a little weird. Is there something I should be concerned about? Any advice? Thank you in advance !!!

Axstrom's Notes

1. The list is here: big jump list
2. The draw (1-5548) is 877, 1520, 4754, 5265, 1478
   1. Drawing 5 so there are backups in case of issues, but the jumper gets to choose among 4
   2. 877 is Earth Final Conflict - A TV show whewre aliens come and uplift Earth but have a hidden agenda
   3. 1520 is Investiture of the Gods - A fantasy tale in Zhou Dynasty
   4. 4754 is Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep - a Disney mashup videogame
   5. 5265 is The Fountain - A film about contuinity across time, grief, death, and growth
   6. Jumper chooses The Fountain
      1. Jump Doc
      2. Reddit discussion
   7. Jumper buys access to The Biosphere Supplement
      1. Supplement Doc

Build Notes

1. Drawbacks - None - Part of the point is that you can't have everything
2. Companions - None - This is the journey of an individual soul
3. Origin
   1. Past: Noble - setting the stage for grander thigns
   2. Present: Inventor - striving for progress
   3. Future: Witness - seeing what has become of the world
4. Perks
   1. Noble Thought - free for Noble, stay connected to the people who are affected by your actions
   2. Noble Deed - free for Noble, your actions have greater impact and are remembered and recorded
   3. Inventor's Vision - free for inventor, studying a problem gives increasing insight in how to improve it
   4. Inventor's Intent - free for inventor, your creations are harder to misuse
   5. Improved POV - free for witness, observe / remember events from multiple perspectives
   6. Bystander - free for witness, events can unfold around you leaving you unharmed
   7. All Together Now - merge all your past origins into a complex mind
   8. 500 Years of Practice (Teaching) - mastery beyond mastery of the chosen skill
   9. Soothing Presence - calm strong emotions and suffering
   10. Absolution - If someone genuinely repents, you can allow them to move
5. Items
   1. Meditation Garden - self-explanatory warehouse attachment
   2. Biosphere - Full purchase activates the Biosphere Supplement
   3. Tree of Life Sapling - Grows six immortality fruits per decade, which can (over very long time) grow more trees

Jump Notes

1. I wake up in my room in the warehouse apartments, after shutting myself in without even checking the Benefactor's Lounge the night before
   1. I'm still lingering on the frustration of not cracking the riddle of Allabar, and not being able to solve the problem permanently
   2. But there's no going back, so I commit to facing forward for the rest of the week, and head to the Benefactor room
      1. Once again, there are four envelopes with me, and my big chart of jumps up on the wall, like something from a Kindergarten classroom
      2. As I affix a sticker saying "The Fountain (2006)" to the big chart, a small round outline appears next to it: "Biosphere Supplement available"
   3. On my way to call a team meeting, I catch a surprise outside the apartments
      1. Three of our bard graduates are slowly exploring the area
   4. At the team meeting, I announce my intention to go solo on the next jump
      1. The decision isn't popular, but most of them have waited while I've done gauntlets before, so it's not a big shock
   5. We set up the entertainment room to watch the movie, even though I don't expect that meta knowledge will be much help
      1. For the first time, we don't all fit in the Entertainment room
      2. By count, there are eleven of us (me and ten companions), the Halflings are now up to fifteen after two recent births, and we have nine new bards with us, so we set up a second showing in the evening
   6. Finally, before heading in to the jump, I make one last check of the Benefactor's office to see if there's more information on the biosphere supplement, but though my note has been removed, there is no response, and nothing on the tablet
2. I awake from a deep sleep in a luxurious bed, it is early morning and the sun is still rising
   1. I can feel the absence of my abilities; I am reduced below even bodymod, to the level of a baseline middle-aged man in a world with primitive medicine
      1. Nevertheless, I can feel a gift reaching back in time to me - and as I accept it, I am calmed, no longer distressed by what I have lost
   2. In this time, I have duties, both in the mundane sense of the tasks those around me expect me to perform, as well as a greater sense in which I must try to make this world better
   3. My new gift becomes invaluable in due time
      1. All manner of petitioners and officers come to me with grievances, and each of them are a storm of emotions - no one comes before their Count to declare how satisfied they are with things
      2. In short time, word of my wisdom spreads, and my council is sought by King Ferdinand
   4. I lobby my King with an eye to improving the lives of all involved
      1. It is the lives of ordinary Spaniards that are the measure of his ability as a King, not the mass of his treasury
      2. Colonialism brings with it dangers beyond the obvious, and responsibilities for ages to come
      3. Allowing the priests to destroy artifacts of other cultures does not increase our glory, but diminishes it
   5. Despite my ability to make my case clearly and seemingly overcome all objections, my guidance is rarely heeded when I leave the room
   6. And before long, it seems I have made enemies of those who stand to gain by plundering the New World
      1. They do not discuss the matter with me, or make their displeasure known by facing me down in violence
      2. But as the breath leaves my lungs over dinner, my last thought is that I have been poisoned by a coward
3. I awake from a fitful sleep in a large bed, my wife still asleep beside me despite the chirping of my alarm clock
   1. My first throught is of the date - It is September 7, 1999 - the first day of fall semester
      1. This will not be my first time teaching CS 101, but this time will be different, I can feel the power in my body, my mind, and my soul
   2. I arrive at my office early, of course, and make sure everything is in order - the syllabus handouts are ready, my slides are in order and proof-read, and my TAs have confirmed their preparedness
      1. The lecure hall is large - so many students sign up for CS 101 without any prior programming knowledge, just to see what it's like, or convinced that they will be a natural
      2. As the students file in, they sparsely occupy the massive auditorium, afraid to sit near people they don't know, not fully understanding that for the vast majority of them, this is their first class on campus, their first opportunity to get to know eachother
      3. I exhort them to move towards the front so they can hear and see better, and a few oblige
      4. The first lecture flows like a breeze, the students hanging on my words as I understand what each one needs to hear to understand what the rest of this semester will hold
   3. By semester's end, the students and TAs are in awe, the CS department chair has asked for my materials and told me that spring registrations for CS102 are higher than ever, both of the student papers have run articles praising my class, and the dean of Arts and Sciences has interceded to clear my spring schedule to prioritize my research work on the condition that I teach 101 again next year
      1. I appreciate my grad students and TAs, but I don't have a real family in this life, so I head into the warehouse for winter break
4. I awaken rested and enthusiastic on a beautiful spring day
   1. It is graduation day for the first group of freshman I taught after coming to this jump, nearly four years ago
      1. They have come so far, and I'm fortunate that some of the best have continued to work with me, and three of them will be graduate students working under me starting in the fall
   2. It is also the first day of human trials for the drug, a new anti-inflammatory
      1. We were hoping it would treat chronic inflammatory diseases, but early testing suggests that it may significantly reduce hay fever, which would be great if we can mass produce it cheaply
   3. My reputation at the school has skyrocketed thanks to the combination of my groundbreaking research plus my teaching perks ensuring high instructor reviews as well as students learning and retaining more
      1. My tenure process has been fast-tracked, since the dean is rightly concerned about losing me to another institution
5. I awaken slowly, and awkwardly, as if from a coma, as a cocktail of drugs is released into my body, still restrained on my cryobed
   1. Our vessel, the Cyllene, is essentially a large asteroid with a hole carved in the middle, stuffed with propellent, equipment, supplies, expansive aquaponics facilities, and a relatively tiny living area
      1. Cyllene was said to have nursed and protected Hermes, as this vessel must nurture and protect us, the first observers, and hopefully, colonists,
   2. As my body and mind resume normal function over the course of 90 minutes, I get a slow trickle of updates on the status of the Cyllene and our mission
      1. The mission clock says it's 202 years since we left Earth, but thanks to time dilation, Earth has experienced 221
      2. Computer Block 5 (of 8) is currently undergoing automated reconstruction as the block with the highest error correction rate at the time the last automated reconstruction completed
      3. 1575 individuals are currently in cryosleep, and 25 (including me) are active, all sufficiently healthy
      4. I am still Dr. John Axstrom, revered teacher and groundbreaking computational pharmacologist, but my consciousness seems to have jumped forward a few hundred years, skipping past the development of miracle cures, life extension medications, and cryogenic preservation of humans
   3. As I realign with my memories and identity, I remember why I'm here
      1. If colonization proceeds, the coming generations are going to need exceptional teachers if they are to learn their place in the universe, and I'm one of the best there ever was
      2. Our mission is expected to take about 750 years from departure to arrival, and though the vast majority of that time is spent in cryosleep, we take shifts being "awake" to ensure systems are functioning and keep eachother mentally and physically healthy
   4. Since the monitoring systems will throw a fit if I straight up disappear from the vessel, I take a long ride out to the external "observation" check, out of the range of most of the sensor systems
      1. There's not really much to observe in deep space - it's like the night sky, as the ancients saw it with no light pollution, but from a different perspective
      2. Here I quickly form a stunt double duplicate, hand over my electronics, and duck into the warehouse
   5. The warehouse clock confirms my suspicions - I'm nearly seven years into the jump
      1. Since it looks like this isn't going to take nearly 1000 years, the team hasn't been going full-stasis mode
      2. The bards have been poring over J-Borg's personal library as well as the impressive collection of the warehouse media room
      3. But the reason I came is the Tablet of the Free - I'm stuck on a large but still confined deep-space vessel until my scheduled return to cryosleep - how is that supposed to entertain the boss?
      4. After confirming nothing interesting is in the warehouse, I head back to the observation deck, and stash the portable door I've been using back into hammer-space before re-merging with my stunt double, and taking the long trip back to the living area
6. I wake up to an unfamiliar synthetic beep - apparently the Cyllene's version of a doorbell
   1. When I open the door, one of my crewmates tells me that our directional antennas have picked up some unusual RF activity that seems to be coming from our destination system, and they want me (as the on-shift programmer) to help the astronomer, comms, and operations staff to help make sense of it, and ensure we're not about to get nuked by a magnetar or something
   2. Initial findings were sparse and inconclusive - just occasional pulses of a signal that must have been very strong and highly directional at the time of transmission, to reach us so far away
   3. But I had access to diagnostic tools that the astrophysicists and comms staff didn't, for all their training and equipment: a series of perks specifically for teasing out the needles of relevance from the haystack of noise
      1. And as I looked at what we were seeing, and what we weren't, the answer became clear: these radio bursts looked just like a primitive form of RADAR
      2. At first my colleagues on the Cyllene were skeptical, but the evidence kept mounting, with 4 additional series of "pings" being detected in the next six weeks
   4. With the spectre of extraterrestrial intelligence hanging over the Cyllene, our XO followed protocol, and ordered the full complement to be wakened from cryosleep to assist in the work to come
   5. Within six months, we had fabricated and installed a much larger purpose-built directional antenna array on the surface of our asteroid hull, and reports of different signals were coming in almost daily
      1. We needed all the extra hands, even our mining and terraforming experts were lending a hand with signal analysis and attempts to form patterns
      2. The whole crew felt the urgency and wondered at the situation - temporally, it would mean that their early experiments with RADAR and initial RF broadcasts would have happened at about the same time as humans did those things on earth, and if they developed at the same rate as us (a big if), they would likely be more advanced when we arrivedd than humans were when we left (and thus the technology of our vessel), and would almost certainly see us coming
   6. The coming months flew past, each bringing further confirmation of suspicious, but with it frustration, as we had been unable to extract a coherent signal - the broadcasts we could pick up didn't appear to be using either amplitude or frequency modulation
      1. More than once I brought signal samples to the warehouse team, but they were just as stumped as us
      2. Even more "esoteric" means didn't work - we tried every variation of "Tongues" and "Comprehend Language" spells on printed, audioized, and even engraved versions of the RF signals we caught, but they all failed and the representations seemed full of too many discontinuities
   7. I could feel my new Inventor's Vision working on the task of how to decode these signals, and about two years after the first pulse was detected, I had my breakthrough
      1. The signals didn't represent continuous audio (like human radio) or even piece-by-piece visuals (like rasterized video), but something of each, and a little weirder
      2. They were composed of many (from seven to three hundred, and not consistent at all) micro-audio clips
      3. It was like making an ultra-low bitrate recordding of the voice of every singer in a chorus individually, and transmitting fifty milliseconds of one, then fifty milliseconds of the next, and so one, in serial, and then starting back again with the first voice
      4. We couldn't figure out why they did this, but once I was able to identify the break points between each "voice", I could layer them on top of eachother to make a composite audio version
      5. And that composite audio could be played, and was a viable candidate for magic translation
   8. The entire vessel went wild when I demonstrated the isolation and recombination of the signals to produce audio
      1. The sound of the thing was somewhat like the sound of multiple birds, frogs, and crickets in a forest, in very brief clips
      2. Of course, I didn't reveal that I had access to magic translation - I figured the comms and signals staff (and the one cryptographer) should have to earn their pay
   9. The remaining year and a half was spent in intense research, for them, while I mostly slacked off and tried to make conversation with the people doing important work on this front, since my actual mission here was to "observe" as humans of this universe underwent a sort of assymmetrical first contact
7. I awaken in my weird little pod bed in my weird little capsule room for the last time, perfectly aware of the remaining hours in this jump
   1. After the initial excitement died down, the majority of the colonists were put back into cryosleep, with only the decoding specialists and those "on shift" like me staying active
      1. There has been a lot of anxiety around the Cyllene for the last few months - we are clearly a colony ship and the intelligent inhabitants of that system probably do not want to be colonized, and may well be easily capable of destroying us
      2. There were discussions about trying to reverse course and head back to Earth, but we could do that any time, and the closer we get, the more information we can gather about the system and its inhabitants
   2. It would be cruel to try to skim supplies from this vessel even if there were something I wanted aboard, so I just wait my time out, helping where I can and secretly translating any communications we receive when time permits
      1. So far it has all been rather uninspiring, which makes me even more curious what kind of species would develop radio technology but not transmit any fiction or speeches or poetry
   3. When it's almost time, I once again make the long trek out to the Cyllene's observation deck alone, and split off a Stunt Double, who can at least stay here for a month, while I slip into the warehouse
      1. When I enter, J-Borg greets me and informs me of a message at the Benefactor's lounge
      2. The note on the door says "Supplement Pending - please attend as soon as possible", so I go in to check it out
      3. With the choices all locked in, the door unlocks and I head out to meet with the team
   4. With the memories of my time in Spain finally restored, I realize how I had been trying to communicate with myself all along, but failing
      1. The need for calm communcation and education will never end - among our closest neighbors or with a civilization 300 light years away
   5. We have the traditional group dinner in the commons, and discuss what's going on
      1. The team did end up spending most of the time in stasis, and the formerly-newborn halflings are a little over a year now biologically, learning to speak and walk
      2. When I mention the Biosphere supplement and how I wasn't allowed to consult them, they naturally asked when it would apply, but it hadn't even occurred to me that there were now definitely too many of us to wait out warehouse changes in the entrance hall, so I checked with the central control
   6. Afterward, no one was complaining when the doors finally unlocked and we were able to leave the commons hall, only to find that the door led to an outdoor path with a natural-looking sunset on the horizon
      1. I didn't want to spoil the whole setup yet, so I said we could tour in the morning, and turned off a number of the facilities and systems for the night, to give me some time to understand what options were available before letting my companions go wild with them
      2. Fortunately, the obvious items like the tree of life and factory complex were on other islands, that would be difficult to reach without the transport disks running
   7. And then I went to sleep again, wondering what the next awakening had in store for me

Notes on the Fountain Jump Doc

1. Honestly this doc has been on my to-try list since I saw it - I really enjoyed the movie and gladly rewatched it again when it came up in my random draw.
2. The author took some liberties with the source material, which makes sense because of how focused on Thomas the story is, and the extensions largely make sense
3. There were a few confusing things in the jump, such as how you get essences and what powers you bring with you into each phase of the jump, but a close reading makes them clear enough
4. The jump has a few really standout purchase
   1. the inventor's intention is the answer to a lot of concers that "do-gooder" jumpers are likely to have in their careers
   2. the full tree of life is an amazing item - the ability to grant perfect health and immunity to aging within a regrowing item solves a lot of problems
   3. 500 years of practice is amazing if you have a particular skill or art in mind - literally centuries better than the "10 years of practice" equivalents that you find din many other jumps, and has a lot of potential to synergize with other perks that scale off your skill in a particular area
   4. Biosphere is super cool if you want your fiat-backed warehouse to grow into something more
   5. The Dagger of the Path is a great example of a conceptual weapon, and something I probably would have picked up if I had a bunch more points
5. How you're supposed to interleave the three eras is a little unclear, and maybe I'm not a creative enough author to pull it off. I don't believe SJ Chan ever got around to writing a fictionalized account of jumping to it, unfortunately
   1. If anyone else has done a good jump fiction of this jump, please let me know
6. Overall absolutely a fantastic jump. Obviously a great option for anyone who likes the movie or wants to solve one of the specific problems available
   1. I'd especially recommend it for an early-chain jumper because of the generally low danger level and great variety of rewards

Notes on the Biosphere Supplement Doc

1. I knew this was something I wanted to pick up when I first read the fountain jumpdoc several months ago
2. I use the "Personal Reality" warehouse which was co-authored by SJ Chan, and this supplement feels perfectly tailored to supplement that
3. There are lots of good pickups for people with various interests, or those who just want to keep their options open
   1. Observation Deck seems like the real must-have since a lot of the other buys are controllable through it
4. The structure of the biosphere was a little confusing at first - I thought that there was an island, a void around the island, and a hard shell, and wasn't sure why you'd want to increase the shell thickness, but further reading cleared that up
5. On the whole, a good pick up, especially considering it only cost 400 CP in the jump, and normally buying warehouse upgrades with CP has a very unfavorable conversion, but in this case, the biosphere purchases all seemed cheaper than they ought to be.

(Builds to come in a separate post due to length restrictions)

Last week I had my first appointment with my Endocrinologist. My FSH and LH levels were low from the bloodwork ordered along with my T Levels. We discussed Clomid and she mentioned that if insurance would NOT clover Clomid we could go straight to Testosterone. I agree to start with Clomid to see if we could jump start things before going to Test.
What I’m curious about is your experiences on Clomid? My protocol is 50mg daily for 25 days then we will check my bloodwork again. Reading through the forum it sounds pretty aggressive? Not sure.
This is my 5 day and I feel pretty normal like I’m not taking anything. I’m wondering at what point will I start feeling anything? I’m not looking for an overnight experience just curious. My vision feels pretty normal too, but my eyes feel tired a few hours after taking it. Also did Clomid work for you long term or did you’d switch to test?

When I was in junior high a transfer student arrived in the middle of the semester; a kid that was different from everyone else. Right away he had caught my eye, in fact he caught everyone's attention because he had a very unique disability; he couldn’t speak. I guess you could say he was deaf, though it was clear to me after getting to know him that he could in fact hear; every word spoken to him was understood with simple nods or gestures; facial expressions contorting into understood language; so I guess he was mute; yeah, that would describe him best. He was an oddity to most but to me he was a unicorn, something that sparkled in our dim monotonous lives and it wasn’t until he revealed who he was did I become terrified of him and his shine.
I was in 7th grade maneuvering my way through the jungle of middle school, avoiding trouble and premature violence. I was an undersized boy for my age, no more than 5ft tall; puberty had yet to visit me leaving me left out of the herd; the other students or the ‘sheep’ as I called them that infested my school. They were all the same, kids that were driven by hormones constantly talking about boys or girls, their deep voices riding on the coattails of the wind that breezed in and out of our hallways. I was a mere shadow, always walking a few paces behind the others not wanting to be seen or acknowledged; I saw what others that looked like me went through, they were tortured and abused for simply existing.
Once Bryce Ellis and his friends stuck Timmy Easton’s face in the shitter for over 10 flushes, I was in a stall over, hiding and waiting for the torment to be over. I slithered my feet up on to the stall caressing them to my chest as I sat in a fetal position horrified of how one human could treat another. Eventually the bullies had gotten bored, their short attention span driven minds directed them to another endeavor leaving Timmy to fester in his tears and possible filth.
He sobbed for minutes that felt like hours as I remained silent in the stall over, I placed my hand cautiously on the barrier wall trying to absorb a bit of his pain, my heart ached for him in that moment and I wanted to lend him a compassionate hand if only I had the courage to do so. So yeah, I did my best to stay hidden, unseen to all the dwellers that mindlessly walked in and out of our school on a daily basis, the boys that believed themselves to be men or the girls that pontificated to anyone that listened. I was lost into an enteral sea of vindictive young adults that searched for any reason to lash out at anyone that stood in their way.
So when ‘Tape boy’ — as they would eventually call him — came to my little middle school that stood still in the secluded hills of our small town I was enthralled almost immediately with his existence. He was introduced to my home room class, I sat in the back burying my head into my arms, occasionally lifting my head to listen on the days lecture. My day dreams entertaining me as the clock slowly ticked away at our lives and it wasn’t until my teacher promptly stopped talking did it trigger a primal emotion in me to sit up and pay attention. I postured myself up straight, pausing the internal movie that played in my mind to see what the interruption was about.
There he was, a new boy that no one had ever seen before, by middle school everyone knew each other; we had went to the same elementary school, the same holiday events and grocery stores. So getting a new student was like getting a new flavor at Baskin Robbins; a mystery taste simmering on the tip of your tongue as you digested every drop, his presence was intriguing. He wasn’t small like me, I would say average height for a 12 year old; about 5'4, slender body with unkempt dark black hair. He looked timid, his head tilted towards the ground not wanting to accidentally lock eyes with any of us as the teacher introduced him, my mind wandering with such intrigue because to all of our astonishment he was wearing a surgical face mask — mind you this was in the 90’s; eons before the Covid pandemic breached the windows of our thoughts.
Right away I could hear the murmurs, the questions erupting throughout the classroom as everyone pondered of why this boy sheltered his face. I stared on for what must of been minutes as the shy boy kept his gaze down, I could see him slightly squeezing the arm straps to his backpack nervously the longer he stood there on full display for all.
I had my fill and I relaxed my postured sinking back into my chair directing my stare out the window but then Billy Sherman asked the question we all had on our minds,
“Uhm, why is he wearing that mask?”.
Our teacher explained to us that it was because of some weaken immune system, something about how his ticker didn’t click like the rest of ours, she then also told us about him being mute. This drew my eyes right back to him, I think it did for all of us and for a moment the quiet kid raised his head and locked eyes with me. His dark black eyes glistened with despair, the deep purple bags that sagged under his eyes were more indicative of someone that hadn’t slept in days. I felt something for him in that moment, our third eye conversing in some cosmic dialogue and as quickly as he rose his head did it drop once again towards the ground. I could still hear all the the other kids snickering, questioning and some even giggling; it made me sick, if I was a braver boy I would of stood on top of my desk and verbally lashed out to all the sheep, instead I rose my hand asking something Mrs. Willis never said, what was the timid boys name?
“Oh I’m sorry, how rude of me, this is Gabriel”.
She sat Gabriel upfront next to her desk, wanting him close in case he needed to write or sign something to her and just like that everyone went back to their simple lives; including myself.
The next few weeks I saw little of Gabriel other than the back of his head during class, once the bell rang everyone that my eyes glimpsed at for the day disappeared or just maybe it was me who dissolved into the ambience of our school. Either way I saw little of the boy who wore a mask, the one that sheltered his true identity and my curiosity with the new flavor of the week gradually faded into the abyss of non-existence; well, that was until the day I saw the mask slip.
It was end of the day, I spent most of the time turning corners anytime Bryce Ellis approached; evading the wrath of him and his band of merry men who were the pinnacle of human torture; finding any opportunity to demean those who crossed their path. I remember leaving Chemistry class, my mind all to occupied with leaving the hell hole of every kids dread and that’s when I saw Gabriel walking down the hall towards the cafeteria; his head still tilted down; his gaze tracking every step he took; face mask still tightly fitted around his face.
This time I saw someone was following him, it was Tom Ingram one of Bryce’s guys, a kid that tried to be the “alpha male” of the group numerous times, doing his best to dethrone the reign of Bryce. He was a big boy for his age, probably about 5'9 and easily weighed 200 pounds, he was a wild card alright; he got caught pouring sugar down Mr. Whitakers old Pontiac gas tank for giving him a poor grade. So when I saw him berating poor Gabriel; taunting him as grotesque laughter followed every insult, I felt like I had to do something and my consistent stealth veneer of camouflage morphed into into a full on sprint towards the two. I saw Tom was closing in on him, other kids looking on with bewilderment on their faces — not knowing if they should laugh out of fear or grimace from disgust. For the first time in a long while did a burning sensation of courage ignite in my soul, I was tired of seeing monsters preying on the sheep and I was going to stop it somehow.
Finally Gabriel had stopped walking and stood still, his head hanging even lower than before, the strands of his long hair covered the remainder of his face. Tom began slapping the top side of the poor kids head, yelling out obscenities, angered that he didn’t stop sooner. I was close, I was gonna stop this since all anyone else could do is cower in fear while looking on and then it happened causing me to stop dead in my tracks, my eyes widening with befuddlement. Tom had torn away the mask from Gabriel's face, awes with groans came from everyone then silence blanketed the entire school and for those few seconds our existence had been swallowed up by the earth itself.
“What the hell” Tom yelped out breaking the still but heavy disquietude.
I wanted to say something, but no words could be manifested only gurgles as I choked on my own disbelief. The timid boy under the mask of intrigue had a strip of black duct tape covering his mouth, it stretching from the side of his face to the other almost resembling what would be some hideous smile. The timid boy then collapsed his hands over his face as faint muffles of sobbing protruded from him, he ran into the nearest restroom only for Tom to pursue. Finally my thoughts had been gathered while my body came back to life, I brushed off the bizarre occurrence of that grizzly smile and I reminded myself of what was about to happen. Tom was going to punish Gabriel for simply existing as he and his gang have been doing for years and like some old factory machine the cogs of my body set into motion as I ran towards the restroom.
Before I could open the door the most horrid scream exploded outwards into the hallway, the sound sending a cold shiver down my spine and Tom came running out of the restroom gripping at his face crying. He was hysterical running and bumping into the walls until finally crumbling onto the floor only to continue sobbing. My mind was clouded with a whirl wind of confusion, I no longer knew what to do, I mean I was going to run in there and stop the assault but now the assaulter was on the floor destroyed. Then Gabriel calmly came out of the restroom, his mask firmly back on and he turned to look at me, his dark eyes burning an image of anguish into my mind. I asked if he was okay of course he said nothing though, he didn’t need to I could just sense his response and it was one of gratitude. I almost could see him smiling at me from underneath the mask and I reminded myself of what was under it; that abysmal duct tape that looked like a sinister grin.
From that day on most of the kids were afraid of Gabriel, I could see the look of terror in their eyes anytime he passed by them even though his headed was still shifted downwards but that’s the day whenever someone mentioned him they referred to him as “Tape boy”. I had heard through the whispers of our school that Tom had suffered some mental breakdown, that the doctors couldn’t find anything psychically wrong with him, it was as if his mind had shattered. He remained in some mental hospital, memories of him gradually fading and the sheep went on with living their mundane lives. Bryce even slowed his bullying, I think he knew that their were now more eyes watching everyone after the altercation and he didn’t want to get caught in some bad situation, though I could see he was itching to get at Gabriel. I went back to being a shadow, avoiding all the others still not too confident that the days of torture were over.
Even though Gabriel was regarded as some magical or perhaps malevolent being by most; not sure which one; he still appeared to be sad; lonely, his head always dragging with despondency. I made an effort in getting to know him, I wasn’t afraid like the rest of them something about the day we locked eyes gave me the resolve to understand he wouldn’t hurt me. I approached him during lunch break, he was outside sitting underneath a tree, the shade showering him a gloom of haze. I think I surprised him or maybe it was just my stealth nature but I saw him jump when I sat next to him. I began talking about the origins of Darth Vader, of how he was originally a hero using his force power for good only to eventually turn to the dark side.
Gabriel just looked at me confounded of why I was even talking to him, his stare looking on with indifference. I told him that he was like a super hero, doing whatever he did to Tom was just like a super power, that I was thankful. His gazed then returned back to the floor almost out of shame, I guess whatever he did that day he didn’t see it as something special, or something to praise. I then told him that I still envied his ability to defend himself, that having such an ability was better than winning the school lottery — which was a week supply of free cafeteria food. I kept blabbering on for the remainder of the break while he still postured his stare towards the floor until the bell had finally rung. Before getting up I told him that if I could have a super power mine would be invisibility that’s when he turned to me pulling out a small spiral from his back pack writing something down, he then showed me.
“Why?” it read.
I told him that I didn’t like being seen, that if I could I would melt away into the noise, then life would be better he just stared at me with what I could assume was disbelief. He didn’t write anything back, he just remain seated while I stood to my feet. I asked if he was coming back to class but he ignored me and just stared out into space presumably lost in his own thoughts.
For the next several months I would catch Gabriel in the hallways, talk to him about the latest edition of whatever comic I was reading, Superman being my favorite and I would go on and on about how his true super power wasn’t strength but hope. I think he became more comfortable with me, pulling out his spiral notebook to write down his thoughts; his questions and answers — a new gateway of communication had formed between us. Most times I could tell what he was going to write by looking at his eyes, those dark haunting eyes, he was a mysterious book slowly being revealed to me and I was completely beguiled by his friendship. Bryce and his little posse slowly went back to bullying the sheep, though they kept their distance from Gabriel and me.
I guess I had a new protector one that wouldn’t be crossed and something about that protection left me feeling proud. I knew in my heart that the timid kid that now went by “Tape boy” wouldn’t hurt a fly that maybe the day of Tom going crazy was all by chance, perhaps his rage snapped his mind. I tried asking him about that day numerous times but he never explained what happened he would redirect the conversation back to super hero’s. I would walk home with him on certain days, well, more like he would walk me home I never got to see where he lived, he was too reserved to give up that kind of information but the days we would walk together was always fun. I finally felt like I belonged, the longing emotion of needing acceptance was found by his friendship.
One day when I was walking home by myself I decided to stop in at the gas station to pick up a drink and scour the latest edition of comic books in the small rack of magazines. Before entering the store I could hear arguing voices engaging in combative dialogue and it became vividly clear that it was more of a yelling match than conversation. It was coming from the side of the building, most times I would just ignore it but one of the voices sounded all too familiar and I crept slowly to the edge of the building poking my head out to get a glimpse of the disturbance. It was Bryce, his back was up against the wall while someone who I presumed was his father berated him with such a vicious snarl on his face. The angry man kept slapping Bryce across the face anytime he tried to say something and soon tears began drizzling off the face of the mighty bully only for the man to laugh.
I didn’t know why the older man was treating Bryce the way he was, information cut out of my understanding, for all I know it could of been because of something the bully did at school. I found it to be poetic justice that the boy that caused so much heart ache suffered the same amount only at home. It felt like a cliche, the angry kid was angry because of the angry father; a cruel loop of never ending proportions. Eventually the man or father walked away getting back into his car leaving the bully to brush away the tears from his face. I cautiously retreated my head away deciding to ditch the store completely when that same broken voice only minutes ago shouted out to me with a hefty dominance.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Bryce howled out.
I didn’t bother turning around, I just ran home, dodging into alley ways trying my best to not been seen. It didn’t appear as if he was following, but seeing him in such a vulnerable state was bemusing. We were a small town how could I not know who the man was, we all knew each other since we were small and then it hit me; Bryce’s dad had left when he was little. This man must of been his step dad or perhaps mom’s boyfriend, it didn’t matter I was going to mind my own business, I was going to slither back into the shadows; but my attempts would only fall on defeated shoulders.
I didn’t want to tell anyone of what I saw, I hoped that keeping my mouth shut would of been enough for the bully to leave me be. Unfortunately there is no reasoning when it comes to human beings, we base our actions on emotions, our anger and Bryce confronted me the next morning in front of Gabriel.
“Hey fairy, did you enjoy the show?” the angry kid spouted out at me.
I tried explaining to him that I wasn’t trying to intrude, that the arguing concerned me, that I didn’t like seeing him being mistreated and then he punched me right in the gut. I fell to the floor gripping at my stomach, the pain slicing through every fiber of my body. I tried catching my breath but inhaling was too painful and I sheltered my face expecting another punch but the bully walked off leaving me to sweat. Gabriel kneel down to me taking out his spiral notebook writing the obvious question, I gestured to him to give me a moment and I honestly felt like crying. I had spent years doing my best to blend into the background, the invisibility power I was so desperate to have amongst the sheep was now gone; I was on Bryce’s radar.
For the remainder of the school year I tried avoiding the bullies, the monsters that preyed on the sheep but their leader would actively search for me, he was no longer intimidated by Gabriel; his once menacing allure had dwindled and now we both were sitting ducks. Luckily there was only a few weeks left until summer break and I only had hoped that the time off would be enough for the monster of monsters to cool off.
Entering summer was a relief much needed for my sanity, I took a few thrashings but it was over, me and Gabriel had big plans on spending time together. He wasn’t an out door kind of kid, he usually would just come over my place and we would read my comic books. He quickly grew enchanted with the idea of super hero's, their powers restoring balance to the nature of our world. I enjoyed every minute of it, my parents on the other hand looked less jovial to our friendship, they didn’t like the mask; it worried them. They thought that whatever illness he had could be passed on to me, but they didn’t do anything to stop us from seeing each other, they only silently protested.
So after awhile we decided to meet somewhere outdoors, away from my parents judgmental stares, there was a creek close to my house, the trees giving us enough shade to stay cool on those long summer days. The small stream that flowed through the trenches of the creek enriched our view as we would find the perfect rock to perch on while reading our comics. We didn’t see much of any of the other classmates that summer, the sheep kept their distance or maybe it was just us, but the days seem to pass quickly and before we knew it summer was coming to an end. I couldn’t remember how many volumes we must of read but Gabriel was now a fan of almost every super hero. He tend to raise out his arms while walking, mimicking the premise of flying like Superman; his ponderous eyes cutting through the brush as we escaped our secluded summer spot.
It was on the final day of our summer break did I pressure the shy timid boy to explain to me what had happen that day, the day Tom lost his marbles, I needed to know. Gabriel as always tried redirecting the conversation, holding up a comic of Batman, pointing at some dialogue. I got upset, I raised my voice telling him that if we were friends then he should tell me, that there wasn’t secrets between us. His heavy eyes collapsing to the ground, shifting his posture on the rock that we both sat on.
“Look, I just need to know, you’re my best friend” I told him with genuine longing.
The school year was about to start up again and I could already envision a future of slithering through the hallways how I have always done, but with Gabriel maybe that could change. I needed to know and I was done guessing, fantasizing that he was some super hero or at least my hero; my protector. I stood up off the rock walking over to the stream, the sound of water colliding unto the small stones that infested the trench triggered something awful in my gut. I took a deep breath and made my final stand with my best friend.
“If you don’t want to tell me then I’m going home, see ya” I said with impatience dripping off of my words.
Gabriel ignored my warning and continued pointing at the comic book, that’s when I noticed what he was pointing at, it wasn’t dialogue it was one of Batman's villains — he was pointing at Clayface. This made me stop, my minding halting after speeding at 100 miles per hour; it crashing my thoughts.
“Yeah, what about Clayface?” I curiously asked with a withered and tired voice.
That’s when his pointer finger was no longer on the page but rather it was pointed towards his mouth; the mouth that was hidden behind his mask. He could see my face drop with sadness, whatever disfigurement he had underneath that horrid black duct tape must of been something like the villain from the comic and my heart broke for him. Gabriel’s eyes gleaming with absolute sorrow, the boy that only wanted to be left alone, the person all the others feared just wanted solitude and here I was badgering him to no end about something so insignificant. We stared at each other for several seconds, our eyes meeting in some altered state and I reached my hand up to his face tenderly taking off his mask. There it was, the black duct tape that resembled a grin, a nightmarish one that could only been seen in some horror movie. I then placed my fingers on the edge of the tape, my cold grip causing him to shiver and I slowly began to remove it.
“What the hell are you fairy’s doing?” a voice called out from the brush, one that sank my heart into my stomach.
I turned trying to locate the voice and sure enough there he was, the bully that had tortured so many for so many years — it was Bryce. His body slowly revealing itself from the brush like some despicable ooze frothing from the depths of hell. Though, something about him was different, his cold stare no longer fictitious but more intimidating and as his body fully emerged did I see the blood trickling down his soaked stain shirt. He was covered in the crimson fluid, there was even some on his cheeks almost as he had some open wound and smeared the remnants of it on his face. The devilish grin that bestowed his bruised and beaten face quickly led me to a conclusion; one that I wish I didn’t conclude. A purplish black infested the out layer of his left eye, it practically closed shut and his nose had been bent to a unsightly angle. I started to whimper as my lips trembled from fright because this Bryce was not the same one that had given us wedgies or swirlies this one was a true monster, a beast that devoured souls. His gaze was enough to display a vacancy of any humanity and my eyes crawled down his arm into his hand to see the black pistol that he firmly gripped.
“Uh, Bryce what happened? Are you okay?” I groaned out while sniffling.
He didn’t answer, he just kept grinning at me, the ghastly smile that stretched ear from ear plagued my vision and I knew that he had done it, that he had hurt someone badly. I was terrified and in the moment I had completely forgotten about Gabriel, my tunnel vision only focused on that firearm.
“Where the hell did the other one go?” the monster asked, I turned and realized Gabriel in fact had run away leaving me behind.
I wanted to run, I wanted to flee while screaming but horror kept me in place and I felt like some dear trapped in headlights contemplating my entire life in mere seconds.
“Everyone always messes with me!” Bryce yelled out with such ferociousness.
There was no talking my way out of this one, no pleading, I knew in that moment he was going to kill me; his rage over flowing to the point of lunacy. He quickly pounced dropping me to the floor, screaming with madness and he repeatedly hit me over the head with the but of the gun causing me to see stars. His words became incoherent sounding like muffled tones that slushed it’s way into my hearing, I shook my head trying to collect myself, just maybe I could figure a way out of this but as soon as my vision corrected itself Bryce would strike me another time causing it to blur once again. I fell into a darkness, my world collapsing into an eternal void of loneliness as my body began to float effortlessly but as soon as I thought this was my final moments flashes of Gabriel flooded into my mind awakening me out of whatever slumber I found myself in. That’s when I realized Bryce was no longer hitting me, instead he was talking to someone and as I grabbed at my head trying to steady my balance I saw it was Gabriel standing still head as always tilted downwards.
Bryce confronted him pointing his 9mm directly at his head yelling, screaming at the top of his lungs but my best friend remained unmoved, just quiet and then he slowly removed his mask. This caused Bryce to pause, his tone weaken and I think for the first time he digested if he should proceed doing what he was doing.
“What are you doing freak?” the bully yelped out.
Gabriel remained quiet, eyes still directed towards the floor, his breathing escalating; I could see his chest pump more vigorously with each passing second. With the mask off me and Bryce could see the bewildering black duct tape strapped to his face, Gabriel’s face began to tremble violently as if he was trying to yell through the bondage. He then finally began to peel of the thick layer of black duct tape and it came off with a wicked screech as I could see my friends eyes squint with pain.
Bryce was no longer pointing the gun at Gabriel, no longer was he even saying a word his arm lowered to his side and both him and I stared on with amazement. What was under the tape was layers of skin, twisting and binding to each other like some thriving organism living it’s own life on Gabriel's face. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t say anything I was in shock and my head still throb from pain. Then Gabriel's mouth — if you want to call it that — began to stretch open, he tilted his head backwards while the mountain of dead flesh started to drip down his face allowing some endless void to open up inside of him. I could hear the cracking of bones breaking, his jaw shifting to accommodate the massive hole that was now his mouth and then horrid dwindling fingers began to protrude from the darkness.
My mouth gaped open with trepidation and if I had the ability to adjust my head I would think Bryce had the same facial expression. Then a grotesque head forced it’s way out of my friends mouth revealing a face that could only exist in the realms of the dead, this new creature having two large almond shape eyes; eyes that looked very similar to the ones that were attached to my friend. This ‘thing’ then stared at Bryce, that’s all it did, no words were spoken no violence was created it just stared at him and soon the bully grasped at his face and began to yell. He ran frantically in different directions, his gun firing out into the tree line, I jumped for cover; falling to the floor sheltering my head with my arms. Bryce’s terrified screams caused my stomach to turn and soon those dire cries stopped along with the gunshots.
I must of stayed on the floor for what felt like hours, too scared to rise to my feet and through my peripheral did I see the sun begin to set plunging the small creak into darkness. I eventually mustered up enough courage to get up and I looked around, Bryce was mere feet away from me, he lay still on the floor blood spewing out of his head; it appeared as if had shot himself. I walked over to his body befuddled of what to do I then remembered Gabriel, I turned to look for him but he was gone it was only me and Bryce's dead corpse. I ran home telling my parents about everything, of the encounter I experienced, at first it seemed as if they didn’t believe me but they still phoned for the police.
I led them to the creek to the bullies dead body, I initially thought perhaps they would blame me, connect me to his death but the police believed me; well the believed me about Bryce but not about Gabriel. They told me that Bryce had killed his step father, apparently they had gotten into some altercation and afterwards he went into his mothers bedroom and shot her to death. They told me that the once bully was a disturbed individual, suffering abuse for many years; that I was lucky to escape from his wrath. I told them that they needed to find my friend I wanted to know if he was okay, but all the officers could do was pat my back with sympathy trying to relax me.
It has almost been 30 years since the event, I still have nightmares of what had happened, I see the dead stare Bryce had while pointing his pistol at me, I see him repeatedly hitting me over the head again and again. Though, what still haunts me more is Gabriel's mouth contorting into that horrid shape revealing the creature that lived inside of him. He was never found, I’m pretty sure he moved on to another city, another place where bullies like Bryce tormented their schools and I could only imagine Gabriel was there to balance the wrongs of the world. I am scared of my best friend, but I know at the same time he is my protector; my super hero, he is out there doing good, I can feel it and I hope he can sense my love for him. Maybe we will never meet again, perhaps it’s not written in the stars for us to reunite but one thing is for sure, I get comic books mailed to me randomly every month; most are of Superman and I know exactly who they are from.

1. I went on the worst binge of maybe my entire life last night. I confess that I watched the most porn I have in years. I also have basically no refractory period. I’m a rare specimen - testosterone levels naturally over 1,000 and I can have multiple orgasms. I watched porn, stopped, fought the urges, then watched porn again / repeated the cycle all night from midnight to 9am today. Then, it built it up so much that I masturbated 12 times in about 20 minutes.

I feel so different now, like I never expected myself to act so compulsively. I feel partially in shock, partially disgusted with myself, partially like I have some new kind of identity after this relapse, partially forgiving myself because I know what caused all this in the first place.
This morning, I journaled what I am going to do to prevent any further relapse, and then I went outside and told God that I will never do this again for as long as I live.

The highly sensitive person's traits often make travel a struggle if not downright misery sometimes. As a highly sensitive person myself I've learned a lot of things over the years to keep me a happy traveler. In fact it is my favorite thing to do! Here are 8 tips to make travel less stressful and dare I say it, great fun!

1. Get a Great Guidebook

One highly sensitive person trait is the propensity towards overwhelm. This is where planning is crucial to having a great trip. The more you know and can prepare for a trip the better. Knowing what to expect and having a good plan always decreases the overwhelm and anxiety I feel.
Having a guidebook also gives me all the information I need to know about a location in one place. It reduces overwhelm because I don't have to figure out all the different sources I need to research. Airport, Hotel, Transportation and Site Information are all in one place.
Check out a few guidebooks and find one that speaks to your interests. My favorite travel guide for Europe is Rick Steves. I like how he focuses on authentic cultural experiences which speaks to the Highly Sensitive Person's soul.
Highlight sites you want to make sure you don't miss and other sites that would be fun if you have time. Make time to familiarize yourself with all the practicalities of visiting a new place such as the language, money and local customs.

1. Pick the Right Flights

Another highly sensitive person trait is feeling stressed with time pressure. If I book a flight that is later in the morning I have more time to get the rest I need the night before. This is also imperative because another highly sensitive person trait is we get more tired than other people.
I want to make sure that I start my day on a full tank. Plus, if my flight is a little later I don't feel that I have to rush as much in the morning to get to the airport. Highly sensitive people hate to feel rushed.
I also make sure my flight doesn't get in too late. I like to have time to check into my hotel and get my belongings situated. Getting to a grocery store is also important to me, so I can stock up on drinks, snacks and possibly some breakfast items.
Especially when I'm on vacation I like to take my time in the morning, savor a cup of coffee and perhaps a pastry. That way I don't have to rush out of the hotel in the morning to go find food. The highly sensitive person is more prone to getting hangry than other people.

How to Find the Right Flights

I always start my trip planning by choosing my flights as the cost can change drastically by adjusting my schedule by even just one day. Hotels are not as volatile in their pricing. I do check out the hotel rates before booking my flights though just to be sure.
I use Orbitz to research all my flights because I can easily search all airlines and filter by time blocks (morning, afternoon or evening).
Plus I can filter my options to include seat choice and carry on bag requirements, so I get a true cost of a flight without any surprises. Not to mention I can also filter by number of stops.
Direct flights are less stressful and have less room for unexpected delays. The simpler I can make travel the more overstimulation I can avoid.
Also, there is no rule that you have to use the same carrier to and from your destination. Orbitz is great for finding just the right timing of flights to meet your schedule.
I often do this by booking two different carriers. I can purchase both tickets on the same website and add in my frequent flyer numbers, so I don't miss out on miles, as well as manage all my flights from one app. It's perfect!
One word of caution though. If you are not taking a direct flight to or from your destination try not to mix carriers. If the flight is delayed for some reason the second airline will not get you on another flight if you miss it the way they would if you booked both flights on the same reservation.

3. Choose a Central Hotel

I always choose a hotel that is central to the things I want to do. Sometimes this can be in a busier or more chaotic area. However, what I love about a central hotel is that I have a convenient home base to come back and take a break if needed. This helps with the highly sensitive person trait of getting tired more easily due to our depth of processing.
If my hotel is convenient I can do an activity and come back to take a nap or get in some quiet time afterward. This recharges me, so I have the energy to go do something else later. It's especially important if I'm visiting a big city which is full over overstimulation, another highly sensitive person trait.
Pick a hotel recommended in your guidebook. This will cut down on the number of hotels to research. I pick the area where I want to stay and review the recommended hotels in my guidebook. Then I pick the hotel with the vibe I like.
My favorite hotels when traveling abroad are boutique hotels that remind me I'm some place new. However, if this is too overstimulating then choose a chain hotel. This will provide a familiar and comfortable atmosphere when you return from a long day.

1. Assess Transportation

Personally I love taking vacations where I can take a break from driving. My trips to big cities or to Europe are perfect for this. They have such efficient and low cost public transportation. Sometimes it's nice to have someone else take care of getting me where I need to go for a change.
Renting my own car can be nice too. This can be essential if I'm traveling within the United States. I like being able to leave a place when I've had too much stimulation, am hungry or tired.

1. Plan Only One Thing per Day

Don't try to do too much in a day, running around ragged to see everything. As Rick Steve's says, "Assume you will return". I usually pick one big thing to do per day and maybe one smaller, low key thing for later after I've taken a break.
If I am going to a museum where there will be lot of crowds and I will be walking around for hours then I plan a break for lunch afterwards and then maybe a walk through a park or to sit by some water. Water is very calming for me. Time is nature, water in particular is restorative and soothing for the highly sensitive person.

6. Timing of Activities

Crowds can cause a lot of overstimulation for the highly sensitive person, so plan and book your activities for early or late in the day when crowds are lighter.
Now that I'm a little older I've become more of a morning person. Anything that I need or want to get done needs to get done in the morning or it just doesn't happen. It's great because I can get into museums and other attractions when they first open before the throngs of people rush in.
More of a night person? That works too! As the crowds are heading out to prepare for their dinner reservations, stroll in and see everything when things are more relaxed and less busy. Make sure you take some water and snacks with you, so you don't get cranky. Another highly sensitive person trait is to be more sensitive to hunger.

7. Plan in Buffer Days

Don't plan to do too much the first day in a new place. Take time to get acclimated to your new surroundings. There will be a lot of new information to take in which may cause some overstimulation. I am also usually tired from the entire travel process as well.
Get oriented to the new destination. Go for a walk around your new area or a take a bus tour of the city to get the lay of the land. I always feel much more relaxed when I know where things are and how to easily get to what I need (rest, food, nature, etc.).
Plan a buffer day when you get home too. There is nothing worse than getting home and then having to head to work the very next day.
The highly sensitive person is very attuned to their physical needs. Travel is wonderful and exciting, but since we take in so much information due to our depth of processing it can also be very overstimulating. Overstimulation can lead to exhaustion.
Make time to go to bed early and take care of other practical concerns like getting groceries and doing laundry before heading back to work.

8. Pack Right

I suggest only taking one carry on bag when traveling and resisting the urge to overpack. Another highly sensitive person trait is attention to detail. It may be tempting to prepare for every eventuality, but it's not really necessary. If you forget something it's usually easy enough to purchase it.
Having too many things to keep track of can be overwhelming and it can make the difference between everything going as planned or disaster if you need to change flights or if your bags don't make it to your destination.
https://www.yourbestfriendsguidetotravel.com/the-highly-sensitive-person-8-tips-for-planning-a-great-trip/
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Just got back from Vietnam - North to South tour over a couple of weeks around my partner's birthday. Absolutely loved the experience and would love to visit again and slow down the travel to take things in a bit more.
I have some tips for folk from my own experience. I'm from the UK - and specifically Cornwall where tourism is a mainstay of our local economy and I know what it's like to have your land flooded with tourists.
1: the pound is roughly 30000 Vietnamese dong, so divide by 3 and knock off some noughts. It's easier to knock off the last three 0s from the dong price first. Very important for weighing up the personal value of something you might buy/are being hassled to buy.
2: Security at airports is not like our biometric passport scanners in the UK - it's guys in very officious looking uniforms taking their sweet time to weigh up whether you should be let in (or out) of the country. Bear this in mind for planning follow up transport or arriving for a flight. Huge queues. It took about an hour after arriving to get through security, and an hour and a half when departing for our UK flight (important as they were shutting the doors by the time we got through security).
3 phone data - while queuing to get into the country in Ho Chi Minh, we opted to buy some local SIM cards from a stall next to the queues. They were £8 each and gave us unlimited data for our 2 weeks. Ideal. Might be able to get it cheaper but convenience after 20 hours of travelling was worth it. EDIT - thanks to u/phantasizer for pointing out these stalls aren't legit. Our experiences were the sim cards worked fine but see their comment below.
4 airport transfers - take advantage of these where offered. Again, just takes the stress out of things as we found the country quite overwhelming, especially HCMC and Hanoi (overwhelming in a good way though).
5 city markets - we went to Hanoi, Cat Ba, Hoi An, Phú Quoc and Saigon and in each place there was a sizeable (Cat Ba was smaller) market advertised as a "must see" experience but in truth is the same place selling knock off clothes, luggage, souvenirs, food ingredients, etc. Every fourth or fifth stall is EXACTLY the same stuff. It gets boring after 10 minutes. Would advise visiting this wherever you are on your last day to buy some stuff to take home rather than lugging it around.
6 scooters - I wouldn't consider this unless you know how to ride a scooter, especially in the cities. Vietnamese traffic is an organic wonder to beyond from the safety of a taxi.
7 crossing the road - for UK folk, they drive on the other side in Vietnam. Very important to look both ways but believe the hype, pick your moment and go confidently - Vietnamese also have incredible spacial awareness to avoid you.
8 GRAB - download the app, add your card and Grab away. Again, speaking of convenience and least stress, you will quickly appreciate not walking for 20 minutes in +30° city heat and choosing to take an air conditioned taxi. For comparison, a trip that would cost about a tenner in UK costs a £1. Incredible value for your wallet, comfort and time.
9 food - try everything. OK, maybe Thit Cho on Hanoi is a stretch too far for the average Brit but everything else should be experienced. Personal favourites were Hotpot (so wish we had similar in UK) and BBQ where it's in the middle of the table and you do all the grilling. You can find Pho for equivalent of about £1 if you need shoestring food.
10 wine - some places sell local Dalat wine which is OK but wine is not a big deal in Vietnam and is usually at least UK price if not more. My partner found this hard as she doesn't like beer and didn't want to drink cocktails all holiday. Dalat is perfectly good plonk though - white and red.
11 Hoi An - don't believe the hype. We spent too long here (so sorry Saigon, you weren't as loved as you should have been). It can be done in a day and you've experienced it all. Reviews were lead to believe there was more to it. Nightlife was a laugh in a trashy way though if you want to do the whole Brits abroad thing.
12 Be respectful - my experience was that Vietnamese are a country of grinders who work all hours of the day. So speaking of Brits (or anyone else) abroad be respectful that not everyone you see is there for your photo opp or to help you and those in markets and hospitality are making a living, so don't waste their time. British especially are a nation of window shoppers and I'm not sure that came across too well on our travels. Try to be low key while you weave around the lives of Viet folk.
13 Learn to confidently say "no thanks" - politely saying "no thanks, just looking" and moving on is a valuable tool for getting through certain touristy areas. Engaging with folk will both give that person the wrong expectations and exhaust you in the process.
14 Google Translate - download this and use for basic enquiries. I don't think I was saying Xin Chao, Cam On or Tam Biet properly, so for anything beyond that, I have no clue. Don't assume people speak English - some are good enough to say Hello first to get past that.
15 Find a spot and just watch - find a coffee shop, relax and watch a very different people go about their lives. Things I enjoyed: how cool all the young people are; how obsessed the young folk are about selfies; care of children; karaoke round the dinner table (understand not to everyone's taste); friends enjoying a hotpot; lads fighting a crab into said hotpot; groups of friends having animated toasts after work; care of old folk; many and varied ways to use a scooter to carry people, goods, materials, flat screen TVs, dogs.
16 Beers in order of my personal taste - Saigon Red; Larue; Saigon Special; Hanoi; 333
17 Beer St in Saigon - go walk through it. I have never seen anything like it. Don't necessarily stop there but go observe it's wild, perverse nature.
18 If staying in a hotel, before you head out for the day, soak a flannel in water, put it in a glass, put the glass in the fridge. You will appreciate it when you get back from your enevitablely roasting walk around town (mad dogs and Englishman..).
19 pack for very hot weather (in May at least). I took a set of clothes for UK - these were worn to and from the airport and otherwise lived at the bottom on my bag. Otherwise, shorts, t-shirts and light shirts to keep the sun off. Even cotton t-shirts felt too much at times. My favourite items were a matched black linen shirt and shorts I bought out there. Pretty much lived out of them exclusively towards the end of the trip. Must have announced my musky presence from a great distance. Utilise the laundry services for sure.
20 ignore the rubbish - try to tune it out and adjust your hygiene expectations. This is important as in two weeks, I got blisters, bites, at anything and yet came away without food poisoning, infection or anything else. It's an eyesore at times to these soft UK eyes but don't let it ruin the trip. Hope Vietnam authorities can do more to handle that as it'll mount up the more the country is discovered.
Sure there's more but just offloading after getting back. Hope it helps.
EDIT: More to add

1. Cash is king but card is accepted - in the UK, because of COVID, cash has definitely taken a back seat to contactless payment. I've rarely had to use cash other than to pay for things off FB marketplace. Vietnam isn't like that, despite being at least as technologically advanced as the UK in certain respects. Always have some dong on you. Few hundred thousand covers small purchases like water, Bahn Mi for the road, restorative coffee, etc. A lot of places do accept card but can come with a 3% fee. And get ready as they take the card and put it into the machine - it's not a scam (at least, I don't think it is) just how it's done. The card machine is handed to you for pin and then half the time they need a signature on the receipt. Monzo is a good bank for travelling as you get free ATM withdrawals on their side up to £100 and you can instantly see the conversion of the latest transactions.
   
2. Ice cubes - when I got my travel vaccines, I was told to be wary of ice as much as tap water. From experience, iced coffee from most coffee shops has been fine (thankful in the heat) and cocktails with ice also fine. I'd maybe avoid the street side iced drinks and stick to modern looking bars, coffee shops and hotels to be on the safe side.
   
3. Geckos - you may see geckos in hotel rooms and elsewhere. Fear not, they are harmless and like to feast on mosquitos. As with any wild animal though - and includes all the cute looking street dogs - observe from a distance. We shared our cabin in Phu Quoc with a foot long Tokay Gecko which absolutely freaked us out for an evening until the manager told us it's fine and just to leave it be and it'll keep it's distance. Definitely the coolest wild creature I saw.
   
4. Overnight train to Da Nang - if you want to traverse the length of the country and save some time, get the Night Train to Da Naaaang (cue: Madness). Pay the extra for your own cabin. It's relatively comfortable and the next day you can while away the morning watching the mountains and coast roll by. You get complimentary snacks, drinks and a simple breakfast as well.
   
5. Cat Ba Express - originally, we planned to make our own way to Cat Ba by taxi>train,>ferry>taxi. At last minute, I scrapped that off of a recommendation on here and went with a company called Cat Ba Express. For £20 each, we got a return - hotel-to-hotel on an air conditioned bus and on the way back took up the option of a cable car over the water from Cat Ba to Haiphong. Well worth it, again for convenience and time.
   
6. Safety - prompted by u/G_saxboi comment below, while we both felt safe for the majority of the trip, do use common sense when out and about. If you need to get your bearings, find a coffee shop, have a sit down and a drink, and check then - being glued to your phone while walking around isn't the best advice in most touristy parts of the world.
   

Regarding Beer St in Saigon - you can walk through albeit hassled to come for a drink but enter any of those establishments at your own risk.
Also, generally good advice not to engage with anyone who randomly comes up to you. Just say "no thanks" and move on.

All these are just my own description and not canon(could be) in the Epic NPC verse
Spellbook of Baradun: Despite its powerful nature and its compilation of powerful spell, only Baradun was able to decipher them thus making it useless to the common adventurers
Fred's Broadsword and Rope Belt: Though Fred may seem like a weak man, he was still a legendary warrior in his past. He obtained the weapon after defeating a giant cyclops. He imbued all his skills and power into them, thus saving them all before he became the depressed man he is now. One of the Belt's original power is the Intimidation, which is triggered with extreme rage. (Mugging episode & OP NPC)
Bodger's Hammer: The dwarves who forged Thor's mighty hammer were not a perfect as they claimed to be. They've made many mistakes and many prototypes. One of them was Bodger's hammer, which was inheritted by his grandfather from his own dwarven mentors. It possesses the power of strengthening its wielder and allowing them to slow down time (Remember when Bodger used it to block an arrow from hitting Ben). It also have the ability of Creation and Restoration, making it a perfect tool for a blacksmith. Despite all of these attirbutes, it does come with limits. In order to prevent it's human wielder from being consumed by its power, the hammer overheats from prolonged usage, Bodger came up with a solution to mitigate this by constantly leaving the hammer immersed in the well.
Baelin's Fishing Rod: Before the mighty Monkey King stole the Golden Cudgel from the Dragon's palace, he had to relly on the tools found in his forest. The wood around him are his default means of fighting. He used them to train and sharpen his martial arts skills. After obtaining the golden cudgel, the Monkey King discarded his wooden staff into the sea, and was found by Baelin the fisherman. Being the innocent man that he is Baelin turned it into a fishing rod, but the essence of the skills and power of the Monkey King remained in the staff and it slowly seeped into Baelin until the time when he will need it. The staff itself is very durable and can be reformed into a double stick for dual wielding(Monster fodder episode). It has the ability to return to its owner even if they are separated, Bodger tried to steal it by replacing it with a real fishing rod but it returned to Baelin.
Sorry for any spelling mistakes. Big fingers and small phone keyboard.

TLDR; hirutism getting much worse despite a reasonably healthy lifestyle, need advice on how to mitigate it!
Hi there, I'm 23, and I have known I have had PCOS since about early 2021 when I went to my doctor (again) sobbing about my acne (as it had never gotten better despite being on the pill, then doxycycline for a number of years). I got a pelvic ultrasound which confirmed the left ovary was far bigger than the right, and I assume my bloods showed high testosterone etc, but I did not really have much help/follow up from doctors.
I am currently on year two of a Mirena IUD, and I had Jaydess in the past. Periods are too painful & heavy to not have contraception in, although I haven't been off contraception since 2019 (wondering if Mirena is interacting with androgens? Might be worth getting off it to see how things go?)
To give a full picture of me - they suspect I have endometriosis, possibly on lower colon as I have had IBS-related symptoms since I was about 17, although I have struggled with OCD & a phobia for as long as I can remember (a very anxious wee child). I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2019. (The endo has not been confirmed as I have not had a lap, but ever since I've had an IUD in the pain has been very manageable). I do struggle with very irregular periods, I seem to only get a few a year which upsets me a little as I wish they were regular.
Supplement wise - I am currently taking an Omega 3-6-9 complex, I've been taking it for 6 months consistently and have taken it on and off over the past three years. I have introduced a 500mg inositol supplement into my routine also in the last 6 months after reading about how much it helps, although I have only noticed my hirutism getting worse. I'm currently the most active I have been in two years as I have been working a ski season again (did this mid 2022 also and I felt my symptoms were much better during that period). I regularly take a Magnesium biglycinate powder, and have been a longtime magnesium taker. Due to cannabis being legal where I live, I do consume edibles on a regular basis but I always eat the high CBD content gummies, as I'm not super concerned about getting 'baked', and I know it helps with inflammation & lowering stress.
Diet wise - I went dairy-free when I was 17, and slowly started eating it again during a trip to Europe, and during first year of university but I kept having IBS attacks so I went dairy free again in 2020, and have been dairy-free since then, although have slowly reintroduced it again as I moved countries and find I tolerate the lactose-free products here a lot better, along with some hard cheeses & butter (low FODMAP). I find I get ibs attacks less frequently. Anywho, I also have dabbled in low-gluten and vegetarian/vegan diets but found I couldn't get enough protein in as a highly-active person if I give up meat AND dairy so I dabble in the two intermittently to ensure I get enough protein. I've been getting more into learning about gut microbiomes and whatnot so have been making a conscious effort lately to eat more probiotics/prebiotics such as greek yoghurt, kimchi, saurkraut and of course my favourite, kombucha.
I noticed hirutism appearing possibly around the same time as the dairy-free ness but I do naturally have very dark brown hair, my eyebrows & eyelashes are naturally pretty much black, and I've always had darker hair on my shins and pubic area. I try to avoid processed foods, but I do have an affinity for cured meats (salami is just a handy protein snack), and candy (but I find I crave it a lot less - is this inositol?). Worth noting I have never dealt with hair loss, it is very thick and grows super fast, and it has been dyed to absolute shit (which surprises me).
I remember occasionally getting the odd super long dark chin hair here and there, and I've been either microblading or using hair removal cream on my upper lip since I was about 17, but my acne has always superseded my opinion on my hair or made it difficult to wax/shave so I used to just pluck. I have had a little snail trail/lower navel dark hair for a long time too, and even got electrolysis on it for a bit when I was at high school but it just hurt too much. I take to plucking it when I get bored so I usually stay on top of it.
In the past year or so, possibly longer, I have noticed my hirutism has gradually been getting worse, as the usual 1 or 2 dark hairs on my breasts/chest slowly spread as the hair seems to be getting darker. I am feeling rather down about this and I don't feel as feminine whenever I find it. I accept I have naturally very dark hair but I feel at a loss as to why it's getting worse. I'm currently on my second round of isotretonin, which helped my skin considerably the first time around, but I did it during the winter, so my skin was fully clear when it came to summertime (have always found sunshine + ocean help my skin so much), for the first time since I was a child I had clear acne-free skin! I'm hoping the second time will kill it off but maybe I'm not so sure.
Worth noting also I am a healthy weight (I think?? my waist size is 28-30 inches, hasn't changed for as long as I can remember, some periods in my life I've been more of a 25-26. Probably have a bit more fat than muscle but been actually enjoying being a regular gym goer at the moment. Not a huge cardio person anymore. Do a lot of skiing. I weigh about 70 kilos and I am 173cm tall. Have not been near scales in about six months though haha). Not sure about insulin resistance or anything else.
I have noticed the chin hairs getting worse and worse, and there are longer, darker hairs going all down my neck now. I've always been a fairly hairy person but it's kind of getting excessive at this point and I'm at my wits end about it. Does anyone have any suggestions for lifestyle changes/tweaks I could try to mitigate it? Any supplements that help?

In case this is of any interest to anyone.
I'm 50 levels in to a Druid playthrough and it's been one the best times I've ever had in Skyrim. So I figured I'd list the mods I'm using for it and why--just the ones that give the feel and flavor, not graphic or combat overhauls or anything else.
Concept: A Druid, protector and defender of nature and the natural world. Not a fan of cities, less inclined to fire magic due to its destructive nature. Due to this I applied certain restrictions: no conjuring undead, no allying with Daedra, no missions that are rooted in harming the natural world (use the pilgrim to heal the Gildergreen, not Nettlebane, etc). For race, of course, I went with Bosmer, being a good thematic choice. For skills I focused largely on Archery, Conjuration (see below), Alchemy, One Handed, Restoration, and Alteration. I limited the use of Shouts to those that fit the build--Aura Whisper, Call Storm, Kyne's Peace, etc. I didn't tend to carry weapons much and used Bound Sword and Bound Bow quite a bit (along with a mod that made them green for that Druid look) until I could craft a dragonbone bow that outstripped damage on the bound bow dramatically. I started as a hunter in Live Another Life.
On to the mods!
1) Ordinator: the perk overhaul is one I love, and it gives some great perks for Druids. For example at Speech 50 you can take Speak With Animals, allowing you to tame and keep an animal follower. None of that 60 second racial ability foolishess.
2) Mannaz - Integrated Races of Skyrim: this overhaul improves racial abilities dramatically in a fair way. Check its description for more--worked well for my build and earned a permanent place in my mod list.
3) Freyr - Integrated Standing Stone Overhaul: Designed to work with Mannaz, it alters the way standing stones work to improve and alter racial abilities. Its synergy with Mannaz's Bosmer abilities really gave a great Druid vibe to the hawk-based powers and had me feeling like an ally of the natural world
4) Forgotten Magic Redone: While I also use Odin, Apocalypse, and Triumvirate, FMR gave some excellent Druid spells, such as Wolf Pack and Veil of Nature; these spells can level up! Wolf Pack was especially fun once I found a ring that allowed me to summon four wolves at once.
5) Wrath of Nature: Path of the Druid: What more can I say. Earning the ability to shape shift into a wolf, bear, tiger, or spriggan is about as Druidic as it gets. At higher levels I used it less and less, except for the wolf form, which runs at a high speed and meant I didn't need to bother with a horse.
6) DX Druid Armor: Honestly, I didn't find it overly sexualized like I thought it might be. In game it came across as just a great Druid look. It's also the reason I leveled up Smithing, as periodically I'd craft a new set for better stats as the game went along.
7) Song of the Green: Auri is a fantastic Druid follower. Recommended.
8) Anna's Druid Conjuration: If you're going to conjure, but no undead or Dremora, this is the mod you want. So good--summon elk, bears, wolves, spriggans, stags, etc.
9) Wintersun: being a follower of Kynareth just made complete sense, of course.
So how'd it all fit together?
A lot of fun. I use mods like Warzones to ensure Skyrim really is at war, and there was a special delight in charging into battle in Wolf or Spriggan form (Wrath of Nature) along with a conjured pack of wolves (FMR) and a bear (Ordinator's Speak with Animals perk) it really felt like nature was rising up and joining the fight. I used Survival Mode and Campfire for a while, and while I loved making camp and crafting, the stamina hit from needing rest got annoying after a while so I stopped. I did find Speak with Animals worked on the Chaurus, so for a while I had one in tow, and got to watch it be a pain in the ass for grounded dragons rather than for me.
Even with the extra abilities the game remained challenging (played on Master), but I had a lot to do--didn't even buy Breezehome until level 45, or visit High Hrothgar until the same time, but I did use the LC_BuildYourOwnNobleHouse mod to slowly build a town in the wilds of Falkreath, with my head canon being a Druid-lead back to nature community. Sadly you can't choose a god for the temple, but meh.
I've played a lot of builds, from two-hand, heavy armor warriors to sneaky thief/assassins to pure mages, but I had more fun with this Druid build than with any other. At this point I'm at 100 Alteration, Light Armor and One Handed, and mid 90s for Archery, around 70 for Conjuration and haven't yet hit that "hmm, what will my next build be..." phase.
If you're thinking of playing a Druid, I really think this mod list is a fantastic start to a really fun playthrough.

While recently I've been focusing on my Greece region(btw I have thought of a name and am deciding to name it the Zanda region because it sounds cool). Now I will make a duo of box art legendaries because they might be neat and I'm bored. Tell me how you feel about them, power wise, lore wise, or how coo their gimmicks are. Suggest names if you can.
Name: Spiritalos(placeholder)
LORE:
This first one is a skeletal figure with animal characteristics similar to spirit animals. It is heavily based on day of the dead and is a humanoid legendary which isn't common. It guides the spirits of the departed to the spirit world as well as serving as a ruler of it. It deeply empathizes with humanity and pokemon kind due to its long experience seeing the regret and loss of humans and pokemons especially regarding when it takes the lives of those who are beloved. It is a benevolent and devoted ruler able to speak telepathically with the dead, those close to dead, close with the dead, those with a power, or those who use it in battle. Those who want to own it have to become champion to be aware of the ritual to challenge it as well as beat it. It is often worshipped by people and partaking pokemon as death is seen as a way of nature that defines humanity and allows people to hold memories of others closer to them. It enjoys battles for one of several reasons either due to its love of mortals or as a hobby after its job is finished. It is sometimes mischievous sometimes haunting people occasionally with other ghost types. It allows some spirits to roam as ghost types or is unable to have them pass for an unknown reason as of now. To those it can't communicate with telepathically, it can make facial expressions and gestures to express itself.
BATTLE AND INGAME MECHANICS
TYPE: ghost/fairy
ABILITY: Spiritual awakening: When this pokemon is knocked out, it transforms into its spirit form and recovers to 25% of its max hp. It also changes its ability, stats, and signature move which all will be explained later.
STATS:
Hp: 130 Attack: 90 Defense: 80 Special attack: 150 Special defense: 130 Speed: 100
SIGNAURE MOVE:
spirit blast
Description: This move blasts the enemy with a spiritual energy restoring the user with the vitality lost from the blast.
Mechanics: 100 base power, 100 accuracy, special ghost type move that restores 50% of damage dealt.
SPIRIT FORM
Ability: spirit bind:
The user can't recover past 25% max hp. All pokemon on the field are bound by spirit which is a trapping effect that is more potent than regular trapping ignoring pivoting moves, red card, and abilities like emergency exit. Do be careful since this effects your own mons as well.
STATS
Hp: 130 Attack: 90 Defense: 50 -30 Special attack: 200 +50 Special defense: 100 -30 Speed: 150 +50
SIGNATURE MOVE:
Call of spirits
Description: the user calls upon the spirit realm blasting the enemy. For every currently knocked out pokemon, the move gets slightly stronger. This move replaces spirit blast.
Mechanics: 100 base power, 100 accuracy special ghost type move gaining 10 base power for every pokemon currently fainted. Cap of 200 base power.
Important moves: Thunderbolt, flamethrower, ice beam, sludge bomb, aura sphere, nasty plot, calm mind, dazzling gleam, and moonblast. It learns many more but the reason for its vast coverage is its powerful spiritual magic that also allows it to tap into nature as death and spirits are also natural concepts. Aura sphere for aura sensing, nasty plot, calm mind both are accurate to personality quirks and are set up moves, and moonblast and dazzling gleam are your main source of fairy type damage.
Viability: I focused on the mechanics being interesting and the lore over balance. I wouldn't be surprised that a mon like this would be banned to anything goes.
The counterpart will be more of a tanky pokemon inspired by a certain video game character.

Hi everyone,
I wanted to share with you my response to the introduction found in the only edition of Use of the Self currently in print. I believe it's a rather misleading intro to FM Alexander's work, so I'm sharing this in the hope that I can help clear up misconceptions people may have about the Alexander Technique, not derived only from Anthony Kingsley, but many bland blog posts one tends to encounter when researching the Alexander Technique. That said, this is not intended to be an introduction of its own, but rather something experienced students, teachers, and anyone enthusiastically learning the Technique may find useful. In the tradition of Alexander himself, I've included extensive footnotes, some painfully long. I'm happy to answer any questions or otherwise discuss what I've written. Understand these are my own interpretations and opinions about what some call "the work," so take them as you will. I've taken lessons for a number of years and currently am training as a teacher, so my view of the Technique is based on these experiences, as well as my interpretations of Alexander's writings. Some of these interpretations you may object to, but I hope you find my arguments reasonable.
Response to Anthony Kingsley's Introduction to The Use of the Self
The Use of the Self may be FM Alexander's most important work, since it contains his own account of how he developed what is now called the Alexander Technique. While Alexander's other volumes are available from Mouritz, the only edition of The Use of the Self currently in print is published by Orion Spring. This edition replaces the philosopher John Dewey's introduction—which praises the technique's "genuinely scientific character"—with one by the contemporary teacher Anthony Kingsley, who is heralded on the book's front cover as a "leading Alexander Technique teacher." Therefore it is probable that many readers' first impressions of the Alexander Technique will be framed by Mr. Kingsley's opinions. I submit this is problematic, since his introduction is in my view contradictory to fundamental principles of the Alexander Technique. I write this response to address the introduction's two most dire faults: Kingsley's misrepresentation of the concepts inhibition and direction, and his dismissal of the concept of the primary control. I'll begin with the second, since it is a more straightforward error.
Primary Control
Kingsley opens his paragraphs on the primary control with the opinion that the concept should be "recast," then describes Alexander's definition of the primary control as a "particular relationship of his head, neck and back [that] acted as a master reflex that conditioned his whole organism." Then he discards this definition, claiming the head-neck-back relativity should instead be "regarded as an indicator[sic] of overall health rather than an area considered in isolation." He concedes the "region of the neck and back is a [...] barometer of our state of being," but concludes that "no single element is actually primary," since our eyes, breath, digestive system, and all other psychophysical elements are "simultaneous and interdependent" and also like barometers. Finally, he reveals his "recast" of the primary control, defining it as "the unknown and unseen self-righting and self-healing mechanism that can be restored and vitalized."
In sum, Mr. Kingsley has presented the primary control—which Alexander wrote extensively about and considered central to his technique—with an ill-defined mystical force which, accordingly, Alexander must have unwittingly stumbled upon and mistaken for a certain relativity of the head, neck and back.
Ironically, it is in The Use of the Self where Alexander wrote of discovering the necessity to first free his neck in seeking a better condition for his vocal apparatus, since that was the sine qua non of taking his head forward and up, of widening the back, and so forth, which are in turn the necessary conditions of freedom and stability in the limbs. This is the genesis of Alexander's use of the word "primary" in describing the head-neck-back relationship, and in my experience, as in Alexander's, it holds true: the sequence of directions given to oneself matters greatly, since tense feet, for example, can hardly flatten on the floor if the head is taken back and down, whereas the head can be taken "forward and up"1 to a fine degree even if there is tension in the lower extremities, particularly while sitting. Further, and maybe most significantly, the relativity of the head-neck-back rarely need change during any manner of activity, whereas the arms and legs are constantly bending, rising, stretching, and so on. Small wonder Alexander considered this relativity primary.
Of course, Kingsley is not wrong to point out the interdependence of all processes in the body. It is certainly true that undue tension in the feet creates a downward pull on the head, neck and back. Yet what is crucial to understand here is that in the context of learning and teaching the Alexander Technique, the primary control is an indispensable concept. It instructs the pupil to guide his or her attention through the body in the sequence most fit to facilitate proper relativity of all the parts, and it names succinctly that natural, visible, dynamic yet enduring relativity of the head, neck and back observable in little children and animals as well as many great musicians and athletes. Thus Kingsley discards a practical concept in favor of a truism about "interdependence;" and so we come to his second, graver error.
Direction
Here it begins to seem that what Kingsley writes of in his introduction is not the Alexander Technique at all, but in fact the Kingsley Technique, since he has redefined not only the primary control, but two other conceptual pillars of the technique: inhibition and direction.
First, he takes aim at direction, neglecting to elucidate Alexander's own definition of the concept before setting out the axiom that "aiming for postural improvements using postural directions leads to a bodymind[sic] attitude of effort and trying, which simply reinforces the problem." Dismissing as superfluous all "ideas and images about heads, necks and backs," he declares that "the trying[sic] self is the obstacle, and the shift towards a non-trying[sic] self is the solution." Finally, he offers his own definition of the directions as "the natural flow of energy and vibrancy that exists within the organism," directions which are interfered with "when we are in a condition of stress and reactivity."
Here, again, Kingsley takes a practical concept which Alexander developed based on careful observation of his own muscular action, and replaces it with a kind of mystical or spiritual phenomenon which, implicitly, only the initiated can perceive.2 Thus the famous directions are not, as Alexander described repeatedly, a series of mental orders or intentions projected to oneself before and during muscular activity along lines one has reasoned out in advance, but a "natural flow of energy and vibrancy"—just as the primary control is not, as Alexander saw it, a concrete, observable relativity of the head, neck and back, but an "unknown and unseen self-righting and self-healing mechanism." These pseudo-spiritual definitions do a massive disservice to neophyte readers, and reveal Kingsley's muddled seeing in relation to the central problem addressed by the Alexander Technique: how to shed habit and coordinate the bodymind through reasoned conception and conscious awareness.
But for a moment let us leave aside direction, since a subtler and more misleading error still lurks in Kingsley's presentation: his dismissal of conception itself. He explicitly warns that "ideas, concepts and cognitive efforts reinforce the very mental instrument that is the problem in the first place," he advises us to simply trust that "the prevention or inhibition[sic] of reaction, maintains or liberates this stream of energy [or direction] in the body."
To understand Kingsley's error, we must return to Alexander. In Man's Supreme Inheritance, Alexander sets out four stages to the "performance of any muscular action by conscious guidance and control:"

1. The conception of the movement required;
2. The inhibition of erroneous preconceived ideas which subconsciously suggest the manner in which the movement or series of movements should be performed;
3. The new and conscious mental orders which will set in motion the muscular mechanism essential to the correct performance of the action;
4. The movements (contractions and expansions) of the muscles which carry out the mental orders.

Alexander considered "conception of the movement required" the very first stage in his technique, to precede even inhibition. Thus he made clear, if indirectly, that in the context of his technique, clear conception is essential to achieving a desired end. Incidentally, this is a fact any competent artist can attest to; if a composition is not unambiguously understood and organized within one's memory, it cannot be brought to fruition. Even the most simple act, such as extending one's arm to grasp a nearby object, requires a detailed conception of distance, weight, strength, and so forth; if the object turns out to be heavier than expected, the conception of these variables and their relation to one another, and hence the muscular action, must change. This is direction in action, albeit subconscious.
Yet Kingsley belittles conception, instead leaning on concepts like "ease," "letting go" "acceptance," and the like. He is not alone in this among teachers, but in my opinion, they overlook the influence of what Alexander termed "erroneous beliefs," a concept closely related to that of "unreliable sensory appreciation." Both could be read in the spiritual lexicon alongside "letting go," etc.; but that would place their referent outside the realm of what words and concepts can describe. On the contrary, Alexander was pointing to something concrete and empirically observable: to errors of spatio-motor perception able to be observed phenomenologically and in other people's behavior; not to transcendent truths about observation itself. Thus the classic example of an Alexandrian "erroneous belief" is a person who raises their arm and believes their shoulder has remained still when it has not. The key for the pupil in this instance is to gain an accurate conception5 of their own muscular action, in reference to bodily sensations; not to simply "let go" or "do nothing."3 And this conception must come about through active tutelage—e.g. Alexander Technique lessons—or, dare I say, the way Alexander himself did it: by reasoned experimentation, conceiving hypotheses based on careful register and analysis of his own sensations, and also by watching the behavior of others. John Dewey called the technique scientific for a reason.
All of this is not to understate the importance of concepts like "release" and "effortlessness," including in the context of the Alexander Technique. Seeing more or less what is meant by them is doubtless the key to mastery of all activities, all practices, all techniques. Yet those spiritual concepts should not blot out the very concrete technique Alexander developed for improving what he called "the use of the self:" that coordination of the muscular system, achieved through conscious reason, which influences for better or worse the functioning of the whole organism.4
Inhibition
So much for direction. What about inhibition? Under the heading "Inhibition and Non-Doing," Kingsley describes Alexander's understanding of inhibition as "an artificial pause between stimulus and reaction," after which he could "give directions to himself." Then he lays down the gauntlet, stating that in the "real world […] life does not offer us the choice to inhibit:" since according to neuroscience research, "neural reactions take milliseconds and are faster than conscious thought processes." In other words, "we either react to the stimulus, or not." So, with inhibition proven impossible, Kingsley is left with no choice but to "reformulate" another of Alexander's concepts, offering us a supposedly scientifically enlightened6 view that inhibition is really "a quality of non-doing[sic] that needs to be already available in the organism before the receipt of a stimulus." This is "a way of being[sic] rather than a way of doing[sic]."
This Kingsleyan inhibition turns out to be the essence of the technique, since it is this very "condition of non-doing[sic]" the teacher is supposed to transmit, through a touch Kingsley describes as "a dance of poetry and a symphony of silence." With it, the teacher imparts a "deep sense of acceptance" by which "change emerges in the pupil."7 He goes on to compare the Alexander Technique to "Zen Buddhism, mindfulness and the philosophy of non-duality," identifying the uniqueness of the Alexander Technique in "the transmission of immediate experience." In fact, there is no Alexander Technique as such, but only inhibition:
The Chinese Tao has a concept of Wu Wei[sic], which translates as surrendering to the effortless flow of life[sic], or non-doing[sic] action. Ultimately, the Alexander Technique needs to reinvent itself and relinquish the Technique. The Alexander Teacher really teaches nothing[sic!]. But this nothing or emptiness is in fact the deepest essence of being and the fullness of life. Like grace, it drops onto us and into us when the conditions are ripe.
The problem is that Alexander's own writings indicate that inhibition is not a "quality," a "condition," or a "surrendering to the effortless flow of life." On the contrary, according to Universal Constant in Living, it is "the act of refusing to respond to the primary desire to gain an end, [which] becomes the act of responding (volitionary act) to the conscious reasoned desire to employ the means whereby that end may be gained." As clear as day: inhibition is an action in response to the stimulus of conscious desire: a conscious, continuing refusal to do a thing the way one normally does it. Alexander saw that this inhibitory act had to precede in every instance any attempt to change his habits. Everyone is well familiar with the inhibitory act. The act of not indulging an immediate desire, however small, is it. So, inhibition is not an "artificial pause," but a phenomenologically observable process within the organism, a process that can be made habitual through practice. It is no more abstract and transcendent than blinking or moving one's finger.7
Here Kingsley again takes something ordinary and concrete and makes it mystical, going so far as to "relinquish the Technique." The trouble is that there is a good reason the Alexander Technique came to be known as such. A technique is a skillful way of doing something; a mental tool; a procedure. Ways of doing can be found everywhere: techniques for dance, for romance, for healing, even for attaining nirvana or enlightenment. Each has a goal in mind and is based on what worked in the past; each resorts to concepts to explain itself; each prescribes action, or doing something a certain way. Yet Kingsley dismisses the idea of doing anything at all. Equating the Alexander Technique with "nothing," he tosses out the concepts Alexander spent decades refining, when Alexander's genius was precisely to conceive a useful, coherent way of doing things through patient observation of the phenomena he termed inhibition, direction, primary control, and the rest.
So, the technique may encompass all the acts of living, but it is still a technique. Alexander often used the term "procedure" to describe it, and I think procedure is as apt a word as any to describe the application of his technique to the acts of living. He constantly stressed the technique's sequential, stepwise nature and recorded countless practical examples of it in action, both in hypotheticals and accounts of lessons. The technique is not a metaphysics or a philosophy like non-duality; it is a practical procedure with a clear purpose: restoring
advantageous, natural relativity of the head, neck and back.
Conclusion
The technique is blindingly simple but surprisingly subtle and difficult to master; and, as far as I am aware, it is unique. Unfortunately, Kingsley is not alone in overlooking the uniqueness and subtleties of the technique in favor of spiritual truisms and platitudes. I suspect there are two main reasons for this.
The first is the tendency of serious pupils of the technique to become more open to "spirituality," both philosophically (e.g. non-duality) and in terms of sadhana (e.g. meditation, yoga, self-inquiry). Many are enthusiastic about the similarities between the Alexander Technique and, for example, mindfulness practice. It is certainly true that the technique requires the pupil to have some degree of "mindfulness," or the ability to realize when the mind has wandered; and it is also true that a few people who devote themselves to the technique come upon some of the same insights one might find in spiritual practice. Yet spiritual insight is not the purpose of the technique. In my opinion, the Alexander Technique is a relative of energy practices such as Hatha yoga, qigong, and TRE (trauma release exercises). Such techniques are often used in tandem with spiritual practices meant for the cultivation of insight, but their purpose has traditionally been preparatory and salutary, not "spiritual." One need not stray too esoteric to encounter the idea that the real goal of spirituality has nothing to do with "ways of doing." On the other hand, Qigong explicitly aims to regulate qi in the body; kundalini yoga is concerned with the flow of prana; the Alexander Technique seeks to restore the good use of the primary control. More practically, the technique teaches mental discipline, and ultimately the ability of the nervous system to regulate itself. Such a practice may lay the groundwork for spiritual realization, but it is by no means indistinguishable from it.
While there is no point speculating about Alexander's private insights, one thing can be certain: he left us a definite procedure with a practical, concrete purpose—not a transcendental one. Yet Kingsley's introduction continually implies the Alexander Technique is an essentially spiritual practice with heavenly fruit. Disparaging the core concepts that constitute the Alexander Technique, he invites us instead to simply "surrender," "let go in faith," and blindly trust that its real essence—nothing less than Wu Wei—will be transmitted through the "rare, "unconditional" touch of the teacher.
The second, more obvious reason Alexander has been so misunderstood is that he rarely wrote concisely, and in any case, recognition and conception of the primary control can never be refined through words, but only through unfamiliar sensory experiences—either reasoned out, as Alexander did, or in the hands of a good teacher. Hence there is more than a kernel of truth to Kingsley's view of the "supreme value of guidance with the hands;" yet I differ from him in that I insist the Alexander Technique cannot be divorced from intellectual understanding and, indeed, conception.
The Use of the Self and Alexander's other works certainly were not without their flaws, but at their best they illuminate concepts which are nuanced, rich, and useful when applied. Primary control, direction and inhibition are three such concepts. Whatever their flaws, Alexander's books point the way to a wonderful technique, and they deserve thoughtful, probing introductions like Dewey's—not dismissals.
1 Like many other Alexandrian terms, the concrete meaning of "forward and up" seems incredibly controversial among Alexander Technique teachers. While I conceive it roughly as freedom of the atlanto-occipital joint, the term cannot be understood in isolation from the rest of the parts—namely, from one's conception of the primary control. It seems to experience it, one must discover it, as Alexander did, or be shown it by a teacher.
2 This is not to say there are not phenomena only some people perceive.
3An overemphasis on "letting go" and the like obscures the fact that Alexander always described the technique as consisting of stages or sequential steps, which in my opinion constitute the "means whereby" he wrote of.
4 "Use of the self" is another problematic term. Related to the concept of "good form" and "good technique" among athletes and musicians, it refers essentially to coordination of the musculature along reasoned lines, which is not separate from conception of the primary control. Equal and opposite is the term "misuse," since one's idea of misuse depends on one's idea of good use. Different teachers understand the term differently. Kingsley states that "bodily tensions and distortions become fixed and reinforced as we react to the general stimuli of living." True enough. Yet he goes on to imply it is associated only with fear, anxiety and distress. Again he couples this concept to the language of contemporary spirituality, trumpeting that it "alienates us from our own true nature." This is to completely ignore the point Alexander returned to again and again in his own writing: that the use of the self is inextricably linked with conception. No doubt, tension and imbalance are very often inextricable from fear. But there may be another class of misuse: one based on misconceptions about the body, unexamined movement patterns from childhood which have little or nothing to do with manifestations of stress or emotions in the body. I suspect one may experience profound psychophysical quietude yet still tend to throw their head back and down in relation to their neck and back, especially in movement.
5Kingsley writes that the teacher's touch indicates the "negation of trying and doing within the pupil." Even a token mention of guidance viz. the relativity of the body parts is nowhere to be found. Yet in my opinion this discussion of touch is misleading, since nothing like it can be found at all in Alexander's writings. On the contrary, Alexander stressed that the teacher's role was to demonstrate manually the proper relativity of the pupil's parts, with the means whereby of the technique; not to transmit "a way of being," nor indeed enlightenment or gnosis.
6 Neuroscientific findings relating to will and volition have proliferated in recent years. They may raise fundamental questions about the nature of self and will, but in my opinion they have little to do with the Alexander Technique, no more than they do with dancing or playing an instrument. If there are really recognizable activities Alexander termed "inhibition" and "direction," then his writings are timeless, since they speak from direct observation and experiment, not philosophy about "free will" and the like.
7 In spiritual literature one encounters, almost universally, the idea that there is no "doer" of action, or no "doer" but God. Hence Kingsley is implying that Alexandrian inhibition is somehow related to this concept, which Buddha famously summarized: "Events happen, deeds are done, but there is no doer thereof." In my opinion, the Alexander Technique has nothing more to do with this than does reading, writing, or playing a game. There may be "procedures followed, but no follower thereof."

I (24M) have disc displacement without reduction caused directly by braces. I had braces to "fix" a moderate deep bite because some shitty dentist recommended it to me with his scare tactics, telling me that deep bites cause excessive wear on teeth as I age so I should get it fixed. Being a naive 20 year old thinking that I was doing a good thing for my dental "health", I listened to the money hungry dentist and got braces. Long story short, the orthodontist ruined my bite, opened the bite so much that NONE of my teeth touched for MONTHS. That's when my TMD symptoms started. Painful clicking and popping, jaw pain etc. One week after they removed the braces, I woke up with my jaw locked closed. Got MRI and CBCT of the TMJs and I was told that I have bilateral anterior disc displacement without reduction. (discs are PERMANENTLY displaced and they will NEVER recapture).
I'm absolutely sure that EVERYONE in this sub had ortho treatment. I've spoken to some people with my condition (disc displacement without reduction) and ALL of them had a history of orthodontic treatment. One of them had premolar extractions. I did not have any extractions, it was just class 2 elastics to open the deep bite. Ruined my whole life and my future. My life will never be the same. Getting braces was the biggest mistake of my life. I never had any TMD before unnecessary cosmetic orthodontic work that I never needed in the first place.
This post is a warning for those who are considering orthodontics to "fix" their bites or just for cosmetics. Keep in mind that orthodontics is ONLY cosmetic and there is no medical benefit for anyone. Your natural bite is the healthiest bite that you can have. I never had any issues with my natural bite. Take a look at this https://www.reddit.com/Dentistry/comments/10nrek2/occlusion_is_overhyped_and_not_important/
Here, there are multiple orthodontist who admit that orthodontics is ONLY cosmetic and there is NO medical benefit for ANYONE. Therefore, people who consider getting braces/Invisalign should be aware of the fact that they are risking TMD for purely cosmetic benefit. Like I said, there is literally zero reason to "fix" malocclusions. Your natural bite is the result of your jaw to skull relationship. Altering this natural balance can and WILL cause TMD. You have a cross bite? Cool, leave it the fuck alone if it isn't causing you issues with function. You have a deep bite? Great. leave it alone if it's not causing you issues. My deep bite NEVER caused my any issues. All my problems started after getting braces to "fix" my naturally deep bite. Orthodontics is unnecessary for most people and purely cosmetic.
You should also know that occlusion (how your upper teeth fit with your lower teeth when you bite down) DOES affect your TMJs. They work together. Your jaw to skull relationship is literally determined by how your teeth fit together. The position of your condyle (and your mandible) is determined by your occlusion. ANYTHING that changes your occlusion (ortho, restorative etc.) WILL affect your jaw joints. Don't trust any dentist or "specialist" who tell you that occlusion has nothing to do with TMD. Occlusion is EVERYTHING when it comes to TMJ Disorders. To be honest, I'm sick of seeing orofacial pain specialists in this sub telling people that occlusion has nothing to do with TMDs. Do they even know the anatomy of the TMJs? Like I said, your jaw to skull relationship is determined by the TEETH, not the TMJs themselves. The position of your condyles is also determined by the TEETH. In other words, occlusion is everything.

I always find these questions and answers entertaining.
Everyone tries to analyze what hes on etc.
It's easy to see that he has hit well above natural limits multiple times. as for what with and how much or often…. no one knows.
In reality he's taken the standard bodybuilder path (learn about Frank Zane - ‘the chemist' from the golden era).
Dwayne Johnston either cycles on and off — using testosterone bases and more than likely various other compounds at different times. generally what one can get their hands on.
No doubt he's tried, dbol, winstrol, anadrol, masteron, nandrolones (decca, npp), probably tren. he probably does constant hgh or cycles it as well. low doses too I'd say. eg. 2 to 10 iu per day.
If he doesnt do things that way. He just straight out blasts and cruises. eg. spending 3 months on 200mg testosterone cypionate/enanthate each week for 3 months give or take... then blast upwards of 500mg test cyp/enanth while messing with above mentioned compounds in conjunction. I'm betting hes blasted over 1000mgs of testosterone per week for months before while stacking other compounds.
its not like hes just always on one compound. like most people he'll have ‘go-to' gear. stuff that makes him feel good with minimal side effects and grow good too.
I imagine for movies. eg pain and gain he started pinning extra compounds and higher doses.
Then aftwards chilled. dropped doses. maybe hit a cruise (200mg testosterone per week). or perhaps cycled right off? possiblly utilizing hcg and/or clomid and/or nolva and/aromasin to get his testies kicking off.
Personally I'm not sure whether hes blasts/cruises or cycles on and off. and nor are any of you. but one thing is for sure. he ain't all natty bruh :-P
I've spent years around this shyte. This is how its done. It's no different because hes in movies or a super star.
If you walked up to me or one of.my jacked buddies and asked if we juiced. of course we would say no. if you interviewed us (camera or no camera) and asked if we juiced. we're definitely saying no. not only is it illegal just about everywhere. but the minute you admit to it. a shyte storm begins. including everyone going on “oh hes only big because hes on roids" and blah blah.
it does a total discredit to all the hours of hard painful work we put in at the gym. all the food we carefully plan and eat. everything that is involved. its not easy to get massive. even on steroids.
regards
Jimmy Jones

My experience with shyvana this season has been painfull. As someone who liked using both goredrinker and gargoyle on shyv i found myself struggling to find a tanky ad build i felt comfortable with. Hearing that lethal tempo would be removed in 14.10 as well as recent nerfs to bruiser items which were basically my core a part of me wanted me to stop playing shyv until her rework came out. But after looking at the patch notes I came up with something interesting that i want the opinions of more competent players of (for context im an average plat player with 500k mastery).
Btw I have not tested this build yet because I am currently not at home.
Runes:
Primary:
Aftershock - shyvanas ult procs aftershock which also synnergizes with her passive. Considering shyvana only ever fights after 6 it makes it a viable engage tool in the toplane and in teamfights as its easy to hit.
Demolish - for obvious reasons
Conditioning - to synnergize with aftershock (alternative defensive runes could be picked based on the matchup but i believe the new secondary can provide enough sustain)
Unflinching/overgrowth - cant decide which synnergizes better so i assume they can be interchanged based on enemy team comp
Secondary:
Absorb life: I am very excited to test this rune. Not only does it give sustain to survive the dreadful early laning phase but it also has potential high value in later fights as I like fighting in a large minion wave to significantly reduce my q cooldown and delete everything around me. Killing off a bunch of minions instantly could amount to a significant heal.
Haste: Though i value lifesteal due to the nature of the Q, between attack speed and ability haste I defininitely prefer it.
Summoner spells:
Teleport: we are weak in early levels and will most likely need to take bad recalls. With the removal of lethal tempo using ignite to cheese kills seems like a dream
Ghost/Flash: i prefer ghost because with cdr boots and our w it is basically a free teleport to lane in the earlygame and we need constant speed to keep up with all tue dashing champs.
The build:
Starter item: dorans shield
Ionian Boots of Lucidity: another cheap will be the main theme of of our earlygame. These boots especially help with lower tp cooldown and gives us good recalls as we can spam w to get back to lane really fast.
Everfrost - overall a great item on shyv gives ability haste, has sheen for q synnergy, armor and slow for aftershock synnergy
Zeke's convergence - a great cheap item that gives us more crowd control. What i like about this item is that it makes the enemies slowed while we are casting ult which theoreticslly means our Aftershock should cast faster. This also allows us to start the fight with our E instead of Q as the enemies will be already slowed and we wont be pressured to further immobilize them with everfrost.
At this point we will be at a 2 item powerspike at only 4.8k gold
Titanic Hydra: auto reset and cleave
Overlords Bloodmail: I wanted to center this build around this item as it seems very fun. Tons of hp for for aftershock and titanic dmg and 2% of it becomes ad. In total at this point we have 1850 bonus health (including the level 2 ult) which translates to 37 bonus ad at max hp.
Warmog's armor - I am not sure whether this will be more worth than the steracks which ive been building on shyv ever since ive picked her up but with the recent nerfs it doesnt feel worth.
To compare:
Steracks gives roughly 55 ad + 8 from overlords 20% tenacity which i kinda dont care about and a whopping 1.8 k shield for 4.5 seconds which is really really good.
Warmogs gives 20 ad fron overlords. So raw statwise we trade a third of ad for 2.5 hp and 10 ability haste (which costs 100 gold less btw) which is giga worth. Now with warmogs we will have 2850 bonus health which will restore us 143 hp per second. Here id like to mention that in my experience no one really attacks a steracks target so it mainly translates to 4.5 more extra seconds of all in. So in order for us to totally outvalue the steracks shield we would have to be in combat for around 12.5 seconds. And honestly with the aftershock tanking the initial burst damage (which usually is the highest) it is quite feasible. This also could serve as a potential escape tool. Shyvana is an all in champ, but if we ignore all the damage and retreat to the backlines we could easily recover to full health and go back in again. This is also where the extra 10% movementspeed bonus shines allowing us to really put some distance between you and the enemy team should the engage fail really badly.
Finally we round off the build with elixir of iron for tenacity and hp.
(Alternatively am considering bamis cinder component items instead of zekes)
My main concern for this build is the damage output. I assume the only windows to make solo kills in lane is at a level 6 powerspike and potentially pre 2 items. Though perhaps the combination of titanic and bloodmail might even things out.
Playstile wise we do the standard afk farming till 6 utilizing dorans and our defensive runes to stay alive. Potentially get a kill at 6 but modtly just force enemy to take bad recalls and snatch a plate or two. We should be aiming to outpace them with fast recalls due to our cdr boots tp ghost and w
Around the time we get access to cleave we should quickly clear the wave top roam with our incredible ms and perma teamfight utilizing our strengthened engage and slows instead of splitpushing.
I just finished typing this and realized i basically wrote an entire paper on a league of legends build that will probably not even work xd.
Looking forward to opinions suggestions and feedback :)

We're dealing with a natural disaster here in Houston. Hundreds of thousands of households without power and for many it will take weeks to restore. Internet cables are down as well and looking at similar timeframe for repair. My phone is it. Only way to communicate for work, news, play, etc.
Calling support and they say my only option is to pay $10/gb after I hit 15 gb. They won't let you switch plans until the end of the billing cycle which is another two weeks away. CSR supposedly even asked his "resources" and they say sorry, that's Google policy.
Any suggestions besides switching to a different carrier?

I am making this post based on my experience after seeing previous complaints in other places about Jatenzo and having to take it twice a day like it's some chore. Do you eat twice a day? Then, what's the big deal? I do take it with fat to ensure good absorption.
Anyway, it has been nothing short of miraculous. Much of the TRT pages are geared toward weightlifters or FTM. I'm just a regular-born male who needs to take testosterone for health reasons. After testicular cancer 11 years ago at age 29, my one functioning testicle had to be removed (the other one was destroyed by an incompetent doctor who didn't descend it properly as a kid). So, I don't make any except for the tiny bit made elsewhere. I tried gels. Axiron worked great at first....and mimicked natural cycles, which is important to me. Then, it stopped absorbing. And other gel forms didn't work. Then, I went on shots every few weeks. Wild swings. And even with the high levels at the start, I didn't "feel" like it was working.
Enter Jatenzo. I waited a good year for this drug when I heard about it. And for all the people that don't know, it's a new pill form that DOES NOT HARM THE LIVER. My liver is doing fine after several years now. I was the first one my internal medicine doctor prescribed this medicine for, and I ended up leaving the urologist since he wouldn't prescribe it. The worst part has been getting insurance to cover it. It has been a battle every time I got new insurance, but I think my lack of testicles makes them more likely to cover it than just demand I do the shots.
I feel so much better on this than the shots! My energy is higher, I feel mentally better, and every morning, I have a rager right before waking up. It's like I'm a teen again. One weird difference between this and the injectable was that I had a ridiculous number of nocturnal emissions with the shots. With this, just the morning wood. I will take that. I think it's impacting my libido in a way that presents differently and in a superior way to the injections. And my wife is glad to not have to give me injections.
Honestly, I am surprised at how well my numbers have improved on Jatenzo. At first, it seemed to be around 600, but I recently had 700. Keep in mind, I don't make testosterone on my own, so I am almost on the max dose: 2 158 mg pills twice a day. There is only one dosage higher than this. I take it with peanut butter and fish oil capsules. I am sure my numbers would be much lower otherwise. Note: You are supposed to take labs 6 hours after the morning dose, which is different than other forms. So, these numbers are well past the peak number.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my positive experience as a person taking this for my essential health reasons, not just for slightly low levels but absurdly low if I didn't take it. I am worried about the future, as the original manufacturer of this folded and sold the product to another company. It's expensive, so I use the discount card, which means I really only pay $10. I hope they never discontinue this discount, but they likely will once it gets closer to going generic unless they also fold or pull it from the market like what happened to Axiron.
If I ever can't take this, I will try micro-dosing injectables, but I will be angry about having to do that with a pill form. It will feel like a punishment. Maybe it would more naturally mimic natural cycles than the longer injection doses. But that's a what-if in the future. For now, I am grateful to have Jatenzo and insurance that finally accepts it.