Sayings about hump day

I (33 F) have been married to my husband (32M) for a few months but we’ve been together for 6 years. My parents had asked us to move into their home two years back to help them out since my dad is medically disabled. We agreed because this would allow us to save up for a house. When I was 19, my father had a brain tumor and at the same time his mother was in the hospital and it wasn’t good. My mom spent all her time at the hospital with my grandma so I decided to take 2 years off from college and put in a leave of absence from my job until my dad was better so I could take care of him and my brother who is younger. Fast forward, I met my now husband at work and we hit it off. From the beginning, he took it upon himself to take my father to appointments and fix things around the house for them. When we moved in, my husband fixed the house for my parents everyday after working 10 hours a day. Anything they asked off him, he did. He fixed the dryer 6 times, he repaired the HVAC system (he is not in HVAC, he took his personal time to learn the basics so our heat would work) and anything else they needed. So now we are married for a few months and have been looking for a home. My mother has been rude and passive aggressive with him ever since we got married.
Some back story on my childhood. I was emotionally abused by my mom and was taught how to hate my father because he was always working. My mother always used to tell me that my dad had no time for me and to not bother him for anything. My mother once broke an easel over my head when I was 6 because I was playing Barbie’s with my friend and she wanted to play with my new one and I told her she could play with any other one she wanted. My mother has always been toxic but I was always gaslit by family and friends and it was always my fault. My brother on the other hand had stolen from my parents, stolen thousands and thousands of dollars from them, became addicted to hard drugs and has threatened to beat my parents and myself multiple times. He’s the golden child and can do no wrong. I have always resented my parents for this but was always made to believe that I was being stupid and it was my fault.
My husband and I have put our own money into my parents house to help fix it for them with no request for payment back. My parents have been ungrateful for everything we, especially my husband, have done for them but we kept doing it because we lived there too. I recently was told by my therapist that in order to be healthy for myself and my husband I would have to confront my parents about all the issues and trauma that I had been living with. So I do this and all of a sudden, they claim my husband is brain washing me. In their words, there was never an issue so why am I speaking up now? I was explaining to them that my therapist wants me to work on being more healthy with my family and that is why I chose to speak to them.
My husband and I received many gifts for our wedding and both of my parents said to place them in a room no one uses. Just recently, they’ve been complaining about the gifts and told us to figure out storage. So yesterday, we bought a small shed from Sam’s Club so we can place all of our things in it. This is what set my mother off. She said it was her house and we had no right to purchase it. When we tried to explain the reason for it, she started screaming at my husband, telling him he does nothing in the house and we just choose to do whatever we want to do because we are selfish. She also said she wanted us out of “her” house. I told her we had no place to go and that we needed time. She then charged my husband and went to punch him in the face. My father stopped her and then they called the police. When the police came, they told us that they felt sorry for us because we hadn’t done anything but that they decided to place a temporary restraining order on my husband and that they wanted me evaluated for brain washing and Stockholm syndrome. All of this over a freakin shed? The cops came a few hours later and said that I didn’t have to leave but that temporarily he would have to. So we packed up our things and our dog and left to a hotel. I’ve been getting messages from family saying that I’m in the wrong and I’m an Asshole because I put my parents through hell. I’ve decided for my own mental health that I need to cut off all toxic family members because my husband and I don’t deserve this. AITAH?

I try to talk to my friends sometimes. Just like everyone says you should reach out to a friend if youre feeling a certain way. But I don’t want to just dump everything out of no where to them. So I try to ease in and they don’t even respond at all. I recently heard about someone who took her life (it did give me a bit of a trigger. I have had an attempt a decade ago and still struggle with mental health) and everyone’s paid attention to that. And it makes me sad to think no one really paid attention until after she took her life. I think that’s so awful. Why only pay attention and care after she’s gone? I want to be so strong but jeez, I try to reach out to my friends and they are practically non respondent. And I would be so angry if I took my life and all of a sudden these people are like “omg I loved her so much” and suddenly care when it’s too late. This world is so backwards. It’s so frustrating. I’m having one of those bad thought days but don’t worry, I’m not thinking about a method. I love my dog so much and would never leave her. I wouldn’t be alive without her. I just wish people actually cared before someone takes that irreversible action.

I'm soon to be joining the met and am coming from teaching.
One of the great advantages of teaching is I can see a show that I want to attend in 5 months time and I know I'll be off Sat/Sun and in evenings. No worries about booking things in the distant future.
Now, I've seen examples of shift patterns and one of them that I saw was an 8-week pattern. And looking at that I could look and see that in week 6 I'll be off on Saturday for a rest day. Would I be able to extrapolate from that that and say that in week 14 I'll be off on Saturday. And in week 22. And so on.
In short is the shift pattern a consistently repeating pattern?
Just in your own experience are you confident making plans for the future.

I've been lurking this sub for weeks because I have had the HARDEST time falling asleep and staying asleep, often only getting 5 hours at night! I was also barely getting REM sleep and I was feeling like absolute shit and my mental health was not doing okay.....
I was only getting by with diphenhydramine or melatonin but even then I would just feel groggy the next day, and hated myself for having to relay on it because my body just didn't want to sleep! I also developed such anxiety going to bed because I knew I would just lay there for hours and become fixated on the fact that I wasn't sleeping, it was a horrible cycle to say the least lol
I read so much about magnesium glycirate on here and I finally tried it and it did help my body relax (I get alot of jerks and feeling of adrenaline in my veins from being an active gym goer) but it did not rest my mind..... My husband sent me some videos about magnesium L threonate and how it is good if you can't get your mind to relax at night, and have anxiety and IT WORKED!!
I feel like a new human! I feel like I just beat an illness! I feel AMAZING and I just wanted to let everyone know that if you are struggling with sleep you will find a way to sleep again! I was struggling with this for months, and coupled with good bed time habits (going to bed earlier, no phones, no light etc) and the magnesium L threonate I feel cured!
Just want to give people hope because I felt hopeless for sooooo long and this sub really helped me find better sleep :)
If you want the link to the magnesium I am using let me know!

Concerned and Confused
Okay, hello everyone. This is going to be a long post. So on the 17 of Jan (about 4 months ago) I went in the ER because I was having a bad bout of insomnia and was on the verge of a panic attack when I went in. The very first thing they did was take my blood. I waited there for about 3-4 hrs when they finally ended up saying to try melatonin or zzquil. When I asked them if my blood work looked fine, they said all is normal. I foolishly did not follow up with my doctor. About 4 months later I go for my annual check up and my doctor brings up my blood test they took on that day. My RBC was 6.68 and my Hematocrit was 52. Which was high. Although my MCV was 77.8, MCH 24, MCHC 30.8 which was low. My doctor asked me if the doctors had brought this up when I was in the ER, to which I responded, no. So now my doctor ordered a whole series of blood tests to see now. I have gotten them back and I am unsure as whether I should be worried or not. Pretty much everything came back normal and in range except for my RBC which is still 6.52. MCV at 74 MCH at 25 which is still low. My phatelets are 244. My hemoglobin at 16.2 and Hematocrit is 48 which were both in range. My iron/transferrin was in range and normal too. My EPO is 6. Literally everything came back pretty much normal. However I am still worried and concerned that my RBC is so high since the cutoff for the normal range is 6.1. I'm currently waiting for jak2 and hemochromatosis results.

“… I have thought much about prayer. It – prayer – is very necessary because it makes the Beyond we conjecture and think about an immediate reality, and transposes us into the duality of the ego and the dark Other. One hears oneself speaking and can no longer deny that one has addressed “That.”
Letter to Anonymous,” 10 September 1943; Letters, I, 338.
“Since according to the Pauline view we do not rightly know what we should pray for, the prayer is no more than a “groaning in travail” (Romans 8:22) which expresses our impotence. This enjoins on us an attitude that compensates the superstitious belief in man’s will and ability.”
CW 10 ¶679
“I have thought a long time over your request, because I don’t know exactly what I could tell you. You were sure to know the home-truth that prayer is not only of great importance but has also a great effect upon human psychology. If you take the concept of prayer in its widest sense and if you include also Buddhist contemplation and Hindu meditation (as being equivalent to prayer), one can say that it is the most universal form of religious or philosophical concentration of the mind and thus not only one of the most original but also the most frequent means to change the condition of mind. If this psychological method had been inefficient, it would have been extinguished long ago, but nobody with a certain amount of human experience could deny its efficacy."
Letter to Philip Magor,” 23 May 1950; Letters, I, 558.
“… “prayer,” that is, a wish addressed to God, a concentration of libido on the God-image.”
CW 5 ¶257.
“… “prayer” is conceived as “the upward-striving will of man towards the holy, the divine.”
CW 6 ¶336.
“My nightly prayer did, of course, grant me a ritual protection since it concluded the day properly and just as properly ushered in night and sleep.”
Jung (1965), 9-10.
“… prayer is not only of great importance but has also a great effect upon human psychology. If this psychological method had been inefficient, it would have been extinguished long ago, but nobody with a certain amount of human experience could deny its efficacy.”
“Letter to Philip Magor,” 23 May 1950; Letters I, 558.
“It only needs an emergency, a serious emergency, and then these religious utterances burst out again. Thus, when one is greatly astonished or surprised, everyone, even if he doesn’t believe in God, says ‘Oh God’ or ‘By God,’ and these are involuntary exclamations of a religious nature, because they use the name of God.”
“An Eighty-Fifth Birthday Interview;” Jung (1977), 454.

We broke up 2 days ago quite suddenly. The past week, he seemed tired and distant, but he kept saying it was nothing I did, and it was not about me. We had sex. He said he loved me. Then, the evening before breaking up, I tried asking how he felt. He became angry because I was ''finding a problem'' when, in fact, I just wanted to show care. He left for a walk, and later brought me my favorite dessert as a kind gesture. He still was a jerk with me, though. The next day (the day we broke up), he went for a walk again, came back and just said he couldn't do it anymore. He said he felt isolated and controlled.
He went back to his dysfunctional, abusive family household. He added old ''buddies'' in Facebook (I know, I shouldn't have checked) that are, let's say, less than decent, including his old drinking buddy that he talk against throughout our relationship. My ex was/is an alcoholic.
Because my ex exhibited abusive behaviors, he often ran away/broke up with me over personal crisis (i.e. stress, sleep deprivation, problems at home, etc.). He would harass me via Messenger. Call me incessantly. Knock at my door. Insult me. Beg me to come back. Love-bomb me. However, this break-up seemed different until I saw him yesterday. He just looked like he did during those ''crisis''. He has not reached out to do the same old shit he used to do but the way he regresses is kind of scary. I know it ain't my problem anymore but... WTF? Somehow, I feel he will reach out and realize he spiraled. I'm his childhood friend and have been friends for at least 15 years prior to dating (2 years). He has been in love with me pretty much all those years, too.

My boyfriend is so insecure and it’s straining our relationship
my(21) boyfriend (21) and i have been dating for almost a year and he claims he trusts me but hes so insecure and its really affecting our relationship. I have a lot of friends but he gets really upset hearing about them and if i even mention a guys name he gets into a mood for the rest of the time were hanging out. So i show him what were talking about to make him feel better and he ALWAYS finds the most benign thing and just turns it into something so malicious, like for example on time i was catching up with a friend i hadnt spoken to in like 6 months and he got upset that i was responding so much, and when i showed him the conversation he got upset because the guy seemed “too interested” in what i had to say?? or another time i tilted my phone away from him for a second to swipe out of a chat since i was only using my left hand, and he got EXTREMELY suspicious and i had to basically beg him to believe me that i wasnt tilting it to hide it from him and that it was a completely meaningless motion. so after going through that for a while i just stopped getting out my phone around him since he said that it bothered him, and now THATS become an issue bc he interprets me as hiding it or purposely avoiding texting ppl because he thinks im up to no good. this and the plethora of well known issues that come with getting close to a cripplingly insecure man, its just weighing on me and idk what to do because i feel like i cant evem be myself around him or like im constantly walking on egg shells in fear that everything i do will be taken the wrong way. i love him so much but it just feels like e every day js a fight waiting to happen
tldr: cant do anything right with my insecure boyfriend because everything i do is considered suspicious, and even more so when i try to correct the behavior that was upsetting him

for context me (TM14) and her (F14) have never had a good past, i have never stood up to her before and this was the first time. I have dyslexia, autism and ADHD. i struggle with a lot of things but those are the main things she bullies me about but this story is about my dyslexia. when she first joined my class around a year ago she only talked to her friends for the first 2 weeks. but then i was asked to read out loud to the class and she started saying stuff like "do you need to go back to primary school?" or she would just laugh when i said a word wrong. the teacher didn't do anything about it other than giving her one warning. and this happens every time now.
flash forward to today and i was in art. we were learning about photography and there was a lot of words that are complicated for me. my art teacher is really nice and doesn't make me read unless i want to and today happened to be a day where i wanted to read because i have been reading percy jackson and i am getting more confident with my reading. i started to read and the girl says "someone get the pillows, we are gonna be here all night" and laughed with her friends. she just kept laughing and didn't really stop. my art teacher tried to on call her (make her leave class) but she refused to leave because (she said) "i want to stay and see this" it ticked me off a bit but i continued to read until i heard something from behind me, a word that i wont say but it starts with R and its a very very bad word. i'm sure you will probably guess what it is. thats when i said "shut up and laugh about your cheating boyfriend and not my reading" everyone in school knows that hes cheating on her but she hasn't left him yet but i wanted her to shut up and i said it with out thinking. AITAH?

Bit of a rant, but I ordered a 2023 Bronco from factory and picked it up last year (absolutely love it). Coincidentally I just had both my first oil change due and an unrelated error message pop up in the same week. No biggie.
Called my local dealer and they're claiming I have to leave my car for at least a day or two before they know if the repair is covered by warranty and they can give me a rental/loaner. Not too happy about that, but I somewhat understand.
But it got me thinking and I checked, I have the ESP which covers rentals $60/day up to 10 days and includes first day rental.
Called my dealer back and they're still playing the "have to see if it's covered" game. I press them, and they admit they don't have any available cars to loan. I say I'll wait, similar story of "we wont know when a car will be available".
I called the only other dealer nearby and they don't do loaners at all.
So now I'm wondering what's even the point of me paying extra for an ESP with 1st day rental coverage if nobody is going to give me a rental when I drop the car off? And if I do go and rent a car and for whatever reason the repair is not under warranty (I know some dealers try to play that game), I'm then on the hook for rental fees.
Anyone else encounter something similar? How would you approach this? It's my first ford, been with BMW my whole life, and they pretty much push me into a free loaner for something as simple as an oil change.

edit to add- he’s had a couple of incidents of vomiting while showing bad signs of working hard to breathe which I’ve been told is normal but that just does not sound right to me
When would you be concerned about prolonged increased work of breathing? Can this cause any problems long term? My 2yo (close to 3) has been sick with what seems like a virus for 2 weeks now. The last 4 days he has really gone downhill. I took him to the GP when he was experiencing signs of respiratory distress and their pulse ox read him at 80%. They called an ambulance who said his oxygen sats were normal but took him to hospital for observation anyway. He continues to have intercostal and substernal retractions (sucking in around his tummy and ribs) as well as the base of his neck (tracheal tug). His breathing is often rapid. The doctors say because his chest is sounding clear and his oxygen sats are showing as fine he can be monitored at home with ventolin given every few hours and a preventer morning and night. They say the coughing and high fevers will make him work harder to breathe and that it’s normal for that to occur. I accept that but I am concerned that there is something deeper going wrong and that his breathing is just not right but I keep getting told to listen to the stats. He seems to just not be getting any better, and I feel defeated not being able to help my very unwell baby. I'm also concerned this increased work of breathing will have an impact on his health long term or may be doing some sort of damage? I really don't know what to do anymore :(

The facts: Our 2.5 year old was potty trained a month ago. She goes full time to a daycare who struggles with being understaffed constantly. I am also expecting a new baby in 3 weeks.
The story: Our daughter potty trained quickly over a weekend and daycare said they would help with the transition. She had one accident the first week at daycare and has since had 3 accidents over the last month. The teacher always says it’s due to being understaffed and not giving her the attention she needs to be prompted. They also have been putting her in a diaper when they go outside since they don’t have enough staff to run her inside when she needs to go.
Today she had an accident at 10 am - I dropped her off at 8am. There is no log of anyone offering her to go potty (they log every time they ask whether she goes or not) Apparently she peed on something that’s not immediately washable and they said she now has to wear diapers for 2 weeks with no accidents before she can go diaper-less again due to health code. My daughter will pee in a diaper. She associates the diaper with her night time pee. Can someone please make this make sense???
She has had a few accidents at home the last few days and everything I read relates it to probably because new baby is about to come. Do I just throw all the work we’ve been doing away and try after new baby!?

Sorry in advance if something is off, I’m new to Reddit and this is my first post ever.
I (25f) just had a baby six weeks ago. She is absolutely wonderful and I love being a mom! She is the first grand baby, therefore also great grand baby on both sides of the family, so obviously everyone is very excited and want to see the baby often, which I am mostly ok with because I love my family.
I’m sleep deprived and my thoughts are all over the place, so I am just going to list the struggles of having visitors currently:

• New babies are on their own schedule and are have many needs (this one obviously isn’t unique to my situation). Plus breastfeeding.
  
• We have two very large dogs, who are mostly well behaved, but get excited to see people. When older family members visit, I try to make sure the dogs have an enrichment activity to do so they don’t constantly bump into people (they’re both enthusiastic leaners and if someone gets them too excited, one of them becomes a jumper). Our house is not huge, so I know a crate could be an options, but they’re fine to be left out all other times and we don’t have space to leave one out for the sole purpose of visitors. My dogs are also family, so I am not fond of the idea of locking them up or putting them outside (especially with summer approaching) for extended periods of time just for other people’s convenience.
  
• I have always struggled with anxiety (now more than ever with a baby). Having people over makes it worse. Having a messy house makes it worse. The house is a mess because my husband and I aren’t prioritizing cleaning the house over spending time with the baby, so having people see my very messy house is making me even more anxious.
  
• I’m not only super introverted, but also on the spectrum (because I know someone will probably ask or ridicule me- I am a fully functional adult with a career. You would never know I am autistic unless I told you because I mask it very well. So well, that I didn’t even know I was autistic until a few years ago. I just assumed I was awkward and everyone found it this difficult/exhausting to socialize).
  

From my understanding, it isn’t uncommon for people to make new babies in the family all about them instead of acknowledging the new mother’s wishes and boundaries, so I was kind of prepared for it, especially with how my family can be. However, it’s a little worse than I thought.
I am very blessed to still have my grandparents on both of my own parents sides, and one set on my husband’s family’s side. I don’t want to take them for granted, but here is why one of my grandmothers is really upsetting me.
This grandmother has always been a bit on the selfish/manipulative side. I love her dearly, but it’s pretty typical for her to guilt trip or sulk if she doesn’t get what she wants. She is also my dad’s mom. My dad was slightly emotionally abusive and neglectful to my siblings and I growing up. I took the brunt of it as the oldest and the only girl. My grandma would never acknowledge how he acted or that some of the decisions she and his father made raising him probably lead him to turn out that way. She also favors my brothers because they are athletic and I am not. She also always talks about her other grandkids in a way that I know she doesn’t talk about me (I know this because she would have to take interest when I am talking for her to have anything to say). I’m not trying to brag about myself here, but I am successful, just not successful with anything she cares about. There’s more, but I don’t want to turn it into too much of a rant.
Anyway, they came to visit the day after we got home from the hospital and stayed for two hours. In all fairness, they did bring food, which was greatly appreciated. We didn’t want any visitors so soon, but I did want my mom to come over. She caught wind of that and it just wasn’t worth dealing with the drama.
The following week, they asked to visit again. I felt like I had to say yes because some of my husband’s family had gotten to visit and I had to make it fair. They stayed 2.5 hours this time.
They visited again during week 3. They only stayed 1.5 hours this time, but as they were leaving, they made a comment about wanting to make this a weekly thing.
My baby has slept through pretty much all of their visits at this point, which, for whatever reason, my grandma is taking personally.
The following week, my husband’s last week of paternity leave, they asked to visit again via text. I politely said it was not a good week because of this. She didn’t answer, but I later learned that she had made a “sad” (passive aggressive) comment about it to my mom.
Last week, week 5, they were in town and asked if they could stop by after having dinner with friends. We said yes, but asked they text us about 15-20 minutes before they arrive. This would have let me get something for the dogs ready, make sure I wasn’t in the middle of breastfeeding, make sure I wasn’t in the middle of cooking our own dinner, etc.
They didn’t call or text. When they got here, our baby girl was asleep, our dogs were super excited, and I had dinner on the stove in progress (not something I could step away from easily and not something my husband would know how to take over for me).
When they came in, they complained about the dogs and intentionally woke the baby up, which, upon waking, she had a giant spit up. I had to stop cooking, which partially ruined what I was making.
I wasn’t rude and surely didn’t say what was on my mind, but I didn’t hide my stress and discontentment this time. I felt guilty about it, but who does this? They left after about 20 minutes because the baby was crying. I think they might have actually felt a little bit bad, but I’m not sure if it’s that, or they didn’t get the visit they were expecting.
I’m fairly certain that I have valid reasons, especially now, for declining visits, but how do I, in good conscience, say no, knowing that this could be the only great grandchild they get to meet, let alone spend time with?
I would feel horrible if I decided not to spend time with them and then no longer had the option to. They also go to Florida for half the year, so I understand why they want to visit so much now.
I want them to get to visit and see their great great daughter, but if I communicate that I want the visits to be shorter or more spaced out, I am going to be guilt trip or she is going to sulk. I know it’s a manipulative tactic, but I also genuinely feel guilty about it on my own too.
I sure feel like an AH, but am I actually one? I also feel like my needs/wants always take last place (way before the baby got here and not just with these family members).
Thank you so much in advance to anyone who read this and comments. Advice is also appreciated <3

I've(36m) been seeing this woman(33f) for more or less 6weeks and it was going well overall.
The last date I went on before dating her ended up in sexual abuse where I kept saying no (a dozen time) and she kept pushing until I pushed her off and left by explaining that this would be considered rape if the genders were reversed.
I told the current woman im dating this story early on. Fast forward, we were sexually teasing each others the other day but I told her I didn't want to have sex because I didn't want to make her Uti worse. A bit later, she came on top of me saying "you're going to make rape you". Regardless of the intention, it instantly triggered me and I pushed her back by saying "why did you say that, don't say that".
She never apologized nor validated me. In fact she made it about herself by saying it did something to her when i pushed her, while I was borderline in a traumatic state.
I think it's a unsettling thing to say regardless of my past.
I just imagine reversing the genders for a second and that wouldn't fly that's for sure.
We haven't spoke in a few days since I told her how exactly it made me feel etc...
Thoughts?

As the title says I have a couple of questions about the new piercings I got recently. My conch and helix are both on my right ear and are about a month old and I got my right nostril pierced about a month and a half ago at this point. My conch has definitely caused me the least issues, most days I forget it’s there. But the other two are still tender.

1. Since I got three around the same time what is the time frame for them to stop being so sore? My helix and my nostril still cause a decent amount of pain when they get bumped I’m not sure how normal this is. In the past when I’ve gotten a new piercing after about a week or two the pain is pretty much non existent but I know that will be different healing three vs one so I’m just curious if anyone has any advice.
   
2. I have been struggling to effectively wipe down the inside of my nostril when I clean it as I can’t really see up into my nose that easily, so I’ve been going into my piercer every once in a while to have them removed any buildup that might be impacting the healing process. I’m curious if this is something I will continue to have to do once it’s healed or will the issue more work less resolve itself?
   
3. Last question, I bleach and color my hair at home and have been wanting to do a touch up (bleach bath and color) but I know that these things are not good for open wounds. So I’m wondering what the minimum time I need to wait before I could safely do those things again with giving myself chemical burn IN parts of my ear?
   

I usually take pride in doing my research and preparing before getting pierced but I guess I missed a few things and I’ve been struggling to find anything that will help with these three questions, so any anecdotes or experiences or links would be greatly appreciated 🙏🏻

Happy Hump Day!
This is a weekly thread to talk about your secrets to staying healthy, or your struggles for staying on track. Do you meditate? Do you do yoga? Cardio? (How) Do you manage a daily workout? Are you barely fitting in something once a week or two? What were your goals for this week, and did you hit them?
Exchange tips, ideas, motivation, and commiseration in this thread :)

Thank you u/SpacePaladin15 for the amazing universe!
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Memory transcription subject: Kalsim, Krakotl United Federation Fleet Captain
Date [standardized human time]: December 27th, 2136
I shouldn’t be doing this.
My talon flattened my feathers against my head, gel ensuring they wouldn’t stick out at any odd angles.
Why didn’t I refuse?
My uniform was in perfect condition, nary a wrinkle, scuff or scratch to be found. My medals, pinned to my breast, gleamed as if they were brand new.
Why didn’t I just say no?
Staring back from the mirror was me, prim and proper as always. Ready to help the Federation take its next step towards the future.
Fuck.
Jerulim had been right for once in his pathetic existence. I knew it from the moment she stepped up to the podium. The gleam in her eyes, scanning each and every one of us like an Arxur would his cattle. She was a predator, through and through.
I’d thought they would at least share some of my common sense. Unlike the rest of those bumbling primates, she was everything we told ourselves we fought against. Humanity by itself could be managed or otherwise ignored. She would make sure that wasn’t the case.
At least I made myself look presentable. More for the sake of consistency, rather than out of respect for the occasion.
I’m sure the shadow eye agent would agree, if he ever spoke or acknowledged his presence. Falling in behind as I stepped out of my quarters, the farsul maintained a good distance between us. Whether out of fear or malice, it didn’t matter. He took his notes.
Guess this is what it’s like to be Sovlin. As if the poor bastard didn’t have enough on his plate.
The station's krakotl personnel gave me high regards as I marched down the gently curving halls. Some salutes, falls to silence, gentle whispers of ‘that’s Kalsim’. Several even tried to get a word from me, advances which were quickly ignored. The kolshian Exterminators standing guard only stared on.
We quickly passed through the halls and passages of the station, winding our way down towards one of the many dozen landing bays. We found it already cleared out, spare for the several krakotl guards standing watching. Curt tail waves were their form of acknowledgement. They paid no mind to the farsul, who elected to watch from one of the upper balconies.
It wasn’t long before a standard model shuttle appeared in front of the vacuum shield. It slipped through and gently set itself down on the steel paneling. Guards shifted as the ramp hissed and lowered, and our visitors began to descend. I didn’t know whether they clued into our body language yet. I still forced myself into a welcoming demeanor.
The humans were a diverse bunch, all dressed roughly in the same outfit. Blue suits, white undergarments, ties around the neck, medals pinned to the breast, and a flag pin near the collar. All red, white and blue. Leading the pack was someone striding with confidence I’d become quite familiar with.
“Kalsim, it’s a pleasure to meet once again.” She extended her palm for one of those handshakes, which I met with my talon.
“It’s mine as well.” I was surprised how authentic I made my voice sound. Guess it comes with experience. “I’ve seen you’ve brought all your friends.”
“Gentlemen,” she turned to her compatriots, “you’ve probably heard much about Kalsim at this point, so his name bears no repeating. But rest assured you'll come to know him quite well over the next couple of months.”
Coming out last were several humans donned in extensive combat gear and rifles slinged to their chests. Their shoulders bore that same flag in black and white along with the motif of a finger held up to a pair of their lips. They seemed not in awe of their surroundings, instead meeting the gaze of the assembled guards with suspicion. Their security detail.
With the farusl boring into the back of my skull, I recalled the memorized talking points, and strutted up to the front of the group.
“Welcome to station one, or the ‘Anchor’ as we like to call it. Headquarters of the United Federation Fleet, and where we will coordinate our preparations over the next several months. Although this tour won’t give you a full survey of this station's capabilities, it will give you an idea of the assets we have at our disposal in the fight against the Dominion. I hope that this will one day be a place where we can celebrate our victory. Now, shall we begin?”
They all filed behind me as we began our journey through the station. The officer stayed near the back, scribbling something on his pad. Jones, leading the officials, smiled slightly. I bet she’s very smug about all this. Free insight into all our capabilities, and they didn’t even have to lift a finger.
We took a left at the first opportunity and came to a hallway length viewport. Just beyond the fist thick glass, several spacesuit-donned krakotl orbited the resting hulks of dozens of cruisers and destroyers. Sparks from arcwelders flared momentarily while shuttles darted to and fro. And watching from afar, the crescent shadow of Nishtal. Several of the humans murmured awe at the view. Jones seemed particularly enamored, sizing up each ship as an arxur would its cattle. I tried to hide my discomfort as my next part came up.
“The Anchor serves as the primary shipyard and basing point for much of the fleet. At any one time, hundreds of ships of all classes can be found berthed here, receiving maintenance, fitting upgrades, transferring crew. Hundreds of thousands live and work here every day.”
“Wow, and I thought the lunar station was big.” One of the human generals commented. “This makes that look like a lego playset.”
“As you like to say, Rome wasn’t built in a day.” That elicited a few chuckles. “The station has been expanded and iterated as the Federation has grown. Some sections here date back to our uplift.”
“Shit must be hell to maintain.” Another one of them commented.
A maintenance skiff floated past the window, scanning for any sign of needed repair. At any given moment hundreds were surveying the station, ensuring the Federations presence here was maintained in top shape.
We moved past the viewport towards one with a better view of one of the ships. My ship, in fact. “This is the Lyakuda, under my command. One of the many prides of the fleet. Nearly three hundred meters long, serving a crew of over five thousand, packed to the brim with the latest weapons and technology.”
“What kind of weapons and technology?” Jones asked.
I stuttered for a moment as the farsul settled his glare on me. “Several kinetic and missile batteries, along with dozens of point defense cannons, and a single plasma railcannon. For the sake of tradition.”
“Tradition?”
“Yes, advances in shield and missile tech leave rail cannons outranged and outmatched. With its shields and composite armor plating, a shot to Lyakuda wouldn’t even leave a scratch.”
“Interesting, so what’s that they're installing?”
Her gaze led to a large assembly being installed near the bow of the ship. Arc weld sparks danced among a series of concentric rings lined up one after another, while skiffs guided in exterior plating to be installed over completed sections. When finished, it would resemble a large silo with circular forward facing entry mounted to a turret assembly.
“That is a particle beam cannon, a weapon that promises to completely upend the way ship combat is fought. Tests have it cutting through shields and armor like talons through flesh. The grays won’t know what hit them once we start fielding it en masse.”
And we were just letting her know about it like it was no big deal. She’ll probably have her people cooking up countermeasures before the day is out.
The other generals seemed very impressed, while Jones simply nodded. “Certainly puts our torpedoes to shame. This is all quite impressive Kalsim. Although even without it, I bet you're still quite effective.”
“Well I…”, the officer scribbled away, “…thank you.”
We moved away from the docks and towards the inner side of the ring, where the general quarters were located. It wasn’t long before we came to a hallway that bent up and out of view in either direction.
“We call this Main Street. It spans the entire circumference of the station, and it’s where you can find access to amenities, quarters and training areas. Speaking of which…”
We came to another window, one which lent us a view of a large gymnasium. This one was modeled after the layout of an arxur settlement, based on liberated cattle words and satellite data. From overhead balconies, more kolshian exterminators stood watching, rifles pointed in no particular direction besides down.
Several squads were running the gauntlet, popping holograms of arxur soldiers with training rounds until they collapsed and disintegrated into digital dust. One squad was up against an emplaced machine gun nest inside of a house at the other end of the street. While his squad mates gave him suppressing fire, one Krakotl used his wings to bound quickly over to underneath the window where the nest was located.
Unclipping a grenade from his vest, he flapped one wing, using the rotation to give extra leverage to his throw. The grenade gently arced into the window, before a muffled explosion and a puff of dust signaled the end of the threat. His squadmates gave the krakotl their congratulations, before they moved on to the next objective.
“This is all quite impressive.” Jones noted, with several of her company agreeing. Even some of their security detail seemed to take a break from staring suspiciously to take note of the training.
“Yes, the program we’ve developed is based directly off of experiences from liberating cattle worlds. It’s been adopted by the large majority of the Federation.”
Another soldier, donned in the classic metallic exterminator suit, stuck his flamethrower nozzle through an open window and let it rip. Even from afar, the simulated screams of the arxur echoed sharply.
“Except the coalition, of course.” The officer gave me a side eye. “…But we’ll be more than willing to lend you the use of our training facilities, if you so desire.”
“You seem much better prepared for the war we’re going to fight. Granted you've been fighting it your entire life, but still.” Jones watched as the squad from before began clearing another house. “I’d wager a place like this would be perfect for our needs.”
The rest of the tour went by in a blur, locations melding into one another as a pattern emerged. I would rotely recite the purpose of each station section, the officer would shoot me a glance, and I would add an addendum that would feed into the human generals ego. The farsul would write down something on his pad, and he would move on.
It was a small relief when we reached the designated end point of the tour. A small bar near the edge of the ring, positioned to give a clear view of Nishtal floating below. Webs of light crisscrossed the surface, hugging coastlines, cutting swamps, checkering plains.
I collapsed into one of the chairs as my home slowly crossed the breadth of the window. The layout of the planet was intensely familiar to me from years of study and innumerable times spent staring down from orbit. I could see the boundaries of the ancient nation states, erased in moments by the Federations arrival. The name of each and every city, the university where I met my first love, the academy where I found my purpose, and my estate perched somewhere along the equatorial band.
It all looked so insignificant from up here. 10 billion people, my people, what I thought I spent my life fighting for, contained to a small rock orbiting around a yellow star, one among an innumerable count dotting just the arm alone. That in an instant it could be all wiped away without a thought to spare, just another casualty among countless in a war manufactured long before my time.
Fuck, and to think I once believed in it all. That there was a point to all this.
Well, that was a lie. There was a point. Just like there was a point to this station, the exterminators, predator and prey, everything the Federation stood for. A cynical power game played from the shadows. And I didn’t even know if the players still knew it was a game. But here I was, acting my part, being one of their little pawns. Knowing that at the end of the day it will be all for naught.
I wasn’t planning on drinking, but fuck it. Not like they’ll have much more use for me today.
“Kalsim, I would just like to congratulate you on a job well done.”
Fuck.
Jones sat down across from me, gaze setting upon my home below. “A fantastic view. Nishtal reminds me of Earth in a lot of ways. Only if the everglades took up twenty percent of our land mass, but that’s beside the point.”
I managed an appreciative gesture. “Glad it does. It’s been an honor to bring you into the fold.”
“As has been mine. I’ve been enjoying our time working together, Kalsim. Just like our homes, we have a lot in common.”
I could feel the officers eyes drill dual shafts through the back of my skull. “I was thinking the same thing. We share a common vision, not one held by many others in this galaxy.”
“Exactly.” She raised the glass she brought to the table, and took a short draw. The flag pin fastened to her collar gleamed momentarily. “It’s something I greatly appreciate about you. It’s endlessly frustrating knowing you work among the willfully blind.”
The kolshian exterminator standing guard shifted slightly, eliciting jostles from the various packs strapped to his uniform. “I know the feeling.”
Jones took note of the exterminator, along with the farsul staring me and Jones down like a predator. “It’s funny how they still don’t trust you.”
"Pardon?"
“A millennia of service, and they act like you're going to snap at any moment. Even after curing you, they still see you as predators. Doesn’t that make you angry?”
It did. And I hated that she was right. I hated that she would use that pain as just another way to move me across the board.
“It does.”
She smiled. “Then that puts you a cut above the rest. We share a vision, and a means to enact it. Unlike your so-called allies, I trust you. Do you trust me?”
The farsul was still staring. Could he even hear us? I wasn’t about to take that chance.
“Of course.”
She smiled again before taking another sip of her drink. “Good to hear that we can rely on each other. Especially since there are matters that I would like to discuss in a more…private setting.”
“Like…”
“I think a private tour of Nishtal would be just the perfect setting. I’m very interested in learning more about your home. And it would be good to get to know each well. After all, I imagine we’ll be working together quite a bit more in the coming months.” Her smile very nearly verged on predatory.
What could she possibly want to discuss further? She’s already made her plans quite clear, and she’s probably memorized my script by now. No, it's ‘get to know each other’ that’s important. She wants to get at my heart, kindle some sort of friendship, maybe something more. But it has to be some sort of act. At the end of the day I'm just a pawn to her, like I am to them.
And I'm sure they’ll love smashing me and Jones together.
“I’ll see if something can be arranged.”
On average, kolshians were just a tad bit shorter than kraktol. It varied from case to case, but that was the general rule. Maybe that’s why Nikonus never met me in person.
“So the general came to you with the offer of the tour.” The purple kolshain spouted, tentacles folded over another as he lounged at his desk. With the holo display on, the normally stout Chief absolutely dwarfed me. “It seems she wants an opportunity to further discuss her plans in private.”
“That appears to be the case.” Even sitting on my perch, surrounded by my more than luxurious quarters, light years away from his physical presence, anxiety still found room to creep up my throat. I had become well versed in hiding it thankfully. Either that, or the Chief was stunningly unaware. Probably a mix of both.
“She may want to divulge more information than she’s been willing to let on before. Either that…”
“Do you have another theory?”
“I’d call it more of a hunch, but it appears that Jones may be trying to foster more of an…intimate relationship with me. She’s become…quite friendly.”
“Ah, a classic case of predatory deceit.” Nikonus adopted a smug look. “Playing at our sympathy. That’s how they got to the Coalition. Seems they’re trying the same trick with you.”
“So what would you have me do then?” I dreaded the answer I already knew was coming. Of course,
“Maintain course. Continue to court her, do whatever it takes to make her believe she is in control. Then, once they’ve grown complacent, we strike.”
“And what if she doesn't play along? Even with the cyberattack, we still don't have a proper idea of what she’s planning. She might be using the Coalition to prepare a first strike as we speak.”
“And as we’ve already discussed, we have contingencies prepared. If Jones, humanity, or any member of the Coalition fall out of line, they will be dealt with appropriately.”
With a large dosage of antimatter no doubt. “I’m still concerned the neutrals won’t fall in line. Even if we present a solid case, who's to say the shield, or the-”
“Kalsim.” The chief's massive eyes narrowed into a piercing glare. “Are you doubting the plan?”
As if I even know what the ‘plan’ is. “No, I just have some concerns that I would-”
“Then I suggest that you keep those concerns to yourself. Despite your and your species prior affliction, you have proven yourself trustworthy. Don’t make me doubt that assessment.”
Or I’ll personally make sure a PD facility ensures you’ll never see the light of day again was the implication. They already did it with Solvin, and he was practically the fleet's mascot. They wouldn’t spare any expense for me.
“I…understand.”
Nikonus twisted his tentacles together in satisfaction. “Good. Make sure that Jones becomes well acquainted with Nishtal. And remember, do whatever is necessary. I trust that you will.”
“Yes, I-”
The display cut off, leaving the giant visage of Nikonus replaced with the back wall of my quarters. Not even going to leave me with the final word.
I don’t know how long I stared forward blankly. A minute, an hour? What did time matter to me? I didn’t dictate my own time. I hadn’t for a while.
That was the funny thing about being a captain. Command of an entire ship, entire fleets. Fame, prestige, wealth, all of that at my wingtips. But not over myself. How funny that is.
I turned to the viewport just as Nishtal crept back into view. It was followed by a massive cruiser passing in front of the planet, completely blocking view of my homeworld. Painted brightly on the side was the logo of the United Federation Fleet.
What am I doing this for anymore? Not for my people, not for their protection. They would just as easily sacrifice their oldest member as their youngest if they saw it fit. For myself? What do I gain from this besides empty platitudes, useless wealth, a voice that commands but does not control?
Nothing.
I’m just…nothing.
Almost like on autopilot, I strutted over to the bathroom and got the shower running. Not even because I needed it. Not even because I wanted it. It was just something that I could do myself.
I almost didn’t take off my uniform before I stepped under the waterfall. It didn’t matter. I had ten identical copies hanging in my wardrobe. Same medals, same name rendered in that common script they liked to push on everybody.
Maybe the shower was some vain attempt to forget the word existed. The steam clouded my vision, the water muffled all sound, and I could pretend for a moment that none of it existed. The Federation, the kolshians, everything we’ve lost, the pointlessness of it all.
We’re piloting ourselves into another endless war, and for what? Another two centuries of their ‘benevolent rule’?
I collapsed against the wall, not caring for the water getting into my eyes. I just sat there, trying not to think about anything. But even in the confines of my solitude, the outside world found a way in, in the form of a notification from my holopad.
Reaching out from the shower, I saw that it was an alert that someone was at my door. Sighing, I shut the water off, made the barest effort to dry myself, and threw a towel around my waist. The mirror told me that I looked like shit. Not that I cared much for its opinion at the moment.
Stepping over and unlocking the door met me with a teal kolshian, dressed in a delivery service uniform, with a hurried look in his eyes.
“Excuse me, what do you-”
The kolshian shoved a small package into my wings, before darting back down the hallway. Making sure no one else was coming, I closed my door, and set about examining the package.
It was an odd little thing. A small box, wrapped in paper with almost…festive patterns on it. Completed with a bow and tie. Removing the wrapping revealed a small cardboard box, entirely unassuming, with a lid that came off easily. Inside that was a small paper note, folded neatly.
There was a feeling of apprehension holding it in my talons. Who sent this, any why? And what was with the strange packaging? But curiosity overrode my lingering sense of doubt, and my talons gently unfolded the paper.
Kalsim, I must apologize for the strange manner this message has been delivered in, but consider it in the spirit of the holidays. Humans have the strangest traditions, don’t they?
Simply, I need your help. And you’re one of the few I can trust.
I know they’ve put you in a rather unenviable position. So consider this an out. Or as the humans would put it, a late ‘Christmas gift’.
And remember the phrase:
Clear Sky
It will help you.
At the bottom, a set of neatly written coordinates.
I stared at the note for what must have been minutes, trying to process what exactly I just read. Definitely not fanmail, that’s for sure. But crossing that explanation off didn’t leave me with many others. I sat down at my desk, flipped on the lamp, and began the process of deduction. There wasn't exactly much to go off. Definitely not enough to make a conclusive determination. But maybe just enough to get a good idea of who sent this note.
The delivery man seemed real anxious to get his job done. Almost like he knew what was inside the package. That he knew what was inside was important. So maybe it's safe to say that he wasn’t a delivery man at all, but a direct agent of the notes author.
A definite possibility. But for all I knew, the author in question could just be some wayward youth looking to pull a prank. So I next turned my attention to the writing itself. And that revealed a noteworthy detail.
Perfect Jelidese. Jelidese was one of the old krakotl dialects, back before the Federation came around and purged it from our records. Well, all except from the galactic archives. And being in my prestigious position, I was allowed limited access into what remained of my peoples history. I had taken to the ancient language, partly as a passion project, partly as a small act of preservation.
Nonetheless, the fact that the note was written in the script meant it had to be written by someone with knowledge of the language. Someone important enough to have access to those parts of the archives in the first place. And someone who knew I knew the language in the first place. It can’t be a coincidence. This has to be someone high up.
An idea began to form in my head, only further strengthened by an examination of the handwriting itself. I’d seen it from numerous handwritten letters and notes sent down straight from the top. The style was unmistakable. The loops, the swirls, the curls. This was written by a kolshian, and more importantly, one which attended the Flora Naval and Military academy, who had a reputation of enforcing upon its cadets this very exact style of handwriting.
And the fact that the author knew of my position, how I was being forced into it? Someone could deduce that, sure, but they would have a tough time. They made sure I made sure of that. No, they had direct knowledge of the dealings between me and the Chief.
I leaned back in my chair as the possibilities swirled. Someone in the Shadow Eye, a higher up in Aafa, or perhaps one of…them.
And now there was the possibility that one of them just gave me an out.
No, that’s too good to be true. A strange note, no author, a random set of coordinates? This has all the makings of a trap.
But then again, I’m already trapped. If they wanted to lock me up in a PD facility, they wouldn’t need to do much. Fabricate some documents, leak them to the internet, and I would be lobotomized by the end of the week.
And the fact that they didn’t seem to mind this human holiday ‘Christmas’. A predator's holiday. They even compared it to the grays worship of their prophet. Yet…no, this can’t be right.
My mind was caught in a civil war as I pondered the meaning of the note. It could very well be some sort of ruse conjured by Nikonus to catch me out on treasonous thoughts. Or it could be the way out that the author promised.
Either way I was screwed. Condemned to watch helplessly as the Federation collapsed into more endless war, or to watch helplessly strapped to a torture chair.
But, if there’s even the slightest possibility that the author is telling the truth…
An out. A promise of agency.
And that was a promise I couldn't help believe in.
I went to plug the coordinates into my holopad, before realizing it was probably being monitored. I’ll have to go in blind. But that’s a risk I’ll have to take. Instead of a map, I pulled up the private channels, and sent a message off to an aid.
Tell the human delegation that General Jones' tour of Nisthal will have to be postponed.
Personal matters have come up.
l Prologue l Previous l Next l

hi! so i'm in a pretty complicated situation rn and i need help from someone. This text is probably a little confusing because i initially wrote it for chatgpt so i barely punctuated or anything so i'm really sorry about that but yeah i'm lazy to rewrite it 😭 I tried correcting a few things to make it less confusing but yeah apologies for the messiness ok so theres this guy in my class, lets call him X and i started liking him a month ago so i dmed him and we ended up talking for like 6-8 hours straight and talked about really deep stuff (i told him abt my ED and he told me abt his dad being an alcoholic) and yh we got along rly well and keep in mind that was our first time talking like ever. ok so fast forward a week, we'd been talking every day, he'd been texting me first a lot, sending me good night texts and giving me nicknames and all and yeah we'd been talking a lot at like midnight and all BUT, we still hadnt talked irl for some reason but i heard he was staring at me a lot in class the day after our first convo and apparently he talked to his friends about me and all. then one day we hadnt texted so i lowkey panicked and asked him the day after (on insta again) why he would sleep so little (bcs he told me he was getting like 5-6 hours of sleep a day) and he said that it was bcs he used to fall asleep on a call with his ex every night and he'd been struggling to sleep since their break up (they'd broken up a month and a half ago approximately) and like ........ yeahhh but he said it really reassuringly and he thanked me for checking up on him so yeah.. anyways a few days later i was sitting next to his friend in class, lets call him Z so he asked me why i wasnt writing what the teacher was saying and i said "oh i didnt notice, i was lost in my thoughts" and he asked me what i was thinking about and i joked saying "oh just some existential questions" and then we stopped talking and after that i was done with school but X and Z still had english class so like 10 minutes after their class ended, X texted me like "i was told you were pondering on some existential questions?" with a laughing emoji at the end and yh basically i teased him like oh so yall were talking abt me? and he came up with a ridiculous excuse like "oh yeah they just thought that what you said was intriguing so they talked about it" 😭 anyways yeah then we went on to chat and all over text after school for a few days and then on a weekend me and my friend went out and he was also out, more specifically at the ice rink and me and my friend (lets call her y) were at the mall but then y had to go to ice skating practice so X asked me if i had fun with Y and i said yes and then i told him "oh btw Y is going to the ice rink as well to practice lol" and he went "oh maybe we'll bump into each other then" and i said "i shouldve went with her lol" and he went "dommage en vrai" (we're french and idk how to translate that properly lmfaooo but basically it means "too bad you didn't" but it implies that he kinda wished i had) and yeah like an hour later he sent me a picture of his legs and feet (HE WAS WEARING JEANS AND SHOES BTW LMFAOOOO IT WAS JUST A FIT CHECK) while he was with his friends and then later that day a few hours later he told me that he was getting ready to go out again (it was like 10pm) and then around 11:30 he sent me a selfie of him and his friends like randomly so yeah yk he kept updating me on everything he was doing SO IDK ABOUT YOU BUT TO ME WE WERE CLEARLY FLIRTING. then the holiday started and we talked again and then he told me he was going to handball practice and that he'd be back by 10pm and then he texted me again at 10:02 saying "heyyyyy!" LIKE MANZ PUNCTUAL AND ALLLLLLLLLLL but yeah then we talked again BUT WE STILL HADNT TALKED IRL EXCEPT FOR ONE TIME WHEN I ASKED FOR HIS RULER IN MATH CLASS AND NSFHIUSHCIUSD HE HAD 2, ONE WAS BROKEN AND THE OTHER WAS INTACT AND HE GAVE ME THE INTACT ONEEEEEE CUTIE PIEEEEE but yeah and then again it was the holiday and we kept talking but then one day, the day before my looooong awaited trip to korea, i texted him and he took 4 hours to reply when he usually replies almost instantly so i was like 🤨🤨 but yh it was fine i wasnt upset over it and we talked a little but he was being a lil dryer than usual and i noticed it but didnt question it too much cause he told me he was reading a manga so i figured he was busy yk and then the next day i sent him my food as an update and like 40 minutes later he finally opened my text and asked what was in it so i told him what was in my food and he went "not bad" and then we didnt talk again so i texted him again like an hour later and he only replied to me 5 hours later after i double texted him like "omg you left me on delivered for so long" and he quickly apologized saying he hadn't seen my text and that was when i'd just gotten on my plane right so i sent him a pic of the plane and he went "how did it go?" and i went "oh we still havent departed yet haha" and like 5 minutes later he hit me with this paragraph: "Hi, look i won't lie, i've noticed that you were looking for something with me so i'll just say it now, it won't be possible between us, i'm not looking for anything and i don't want to make you wait any longer so i'm asking you to stop talking to me, i'm not looking for a relationship" ...... and yeah, that ruined my flight and the first two days of my trip in seoul... What do you think happened? Do you think he got scared of commitment or anything of the sort? What do I do? We're 15 turning 16 this year and i've never been in a relationship btw

Hi! I’m looking for some support and advice. I, 25F will be moving into an apartment with my two kids 7M&2F. I have a 7 year old female husky that I’m wanting to take with me to my apartment. This apartment normally has a no pet policy. My sister has lived at this apartment and has witnessed the Landlady(?) tell another person they cannot have their emotional support dog live in the apartment with her. This woman I guess was going to put an application in and was told she will get denied and doesn’t care if it’s an ESP. She basically gave this woman no other option. Im sure the woman decided not to put an app in after that. I, however, am approved and will be moving in soon. I’m leaving a domestic violence situation and there will be no one to care for my dog if I don’t bring her with me. She TRULY is my ESP. I have terrible anxiety and she always knows my cues. She has been there through the most traumatic times of my life. I can’t imagine a life without her. I originally didn’t put on the application that I have an animal because I desperately needed a place to live. But now I don’t know what to do. Living here is the only option as all other places have a waitlist a year out. I’m terrified that if I bring up my dog when I go to sign papers, they’ll just automatically tell me I can’t move in anymore. And I’m telling you, this landlady is not fun to deal with. She already kept pushing my move in date back because she thought I was related to someone that got banned from the property. Which was not my sister that i mentioned had lived there before, it was cleared up and all of a sudden they said I can move in within a week. Yes I know that’s probably illegal of them to do too. I just fear that even though you can’t deny someone for having an ESP, they still will because they know a person moving into housing doesn’t have the funds to hire a lawyer and sue. What can I do? What should I do? I know the consequences of sneaking my dog in could get me banned/kicked out and I 100% don’t want that. Do I just be upfront when I go to sign papers tomorrow? Do I just ask hypothetically if ESPs are allowed? I feel like then they’ll monitor me thinking I’ll sneak her in. How do I respond if they tell me I absolutely cannot bring her with? She is such a good dog. Doesn’t tear things up, doesn’t chew on things, claw the walls or floors, act crazy, she’s so gentle and the sweetest baby. And I’m not being biased. She truly is such an incredible dog. I took her in when my SIL didn’t want her anymore. We’ve grown together and she is such a big part of my heart.😔If I’m being honest my kids will probably end up doing more damage than my dog lol. Please help. I don’t know what to do and it’s making me sick thinking I’ll have to leave her here and not have anyone to properly care for her. She will be left inside most of the day and probably won’t be taken on walks, groomed, properly fed. And, she’d be 30 minutes away from me, otherwise I’d come here everyday to make sure her needs are met.😔I go tomorrow to sign papers. Any advice is greatly appreciated and like I said, I could talk about how great my dog is till I’m blue in the face but I just feel like the landlady will still give me no options even if it is illegal to deny me. So if anyone has anything with weight to it that I could say in case she says no, I’d really appreciate that.

I just want to get some things from my chest as I need to say somewhere what happened today.
In my last post(check out my profile) I talked about how my ex girlfriend with quiet BPD discarded me, it was cruel and with a lack of closure. The relationship was 7 months long, in which she sold me the dream of marriage and everything else.
1 month post the discord and 1 month of no contact, since she blocked me everywhere, she came to my desk to ask for a coffee and a talk (we work in the same place). I said sure and we went, asked me what I did for Easter and everything. She was very smiley and all. Now, to the good part, we started talking about us and what was, she said that she tried to make herself feel bad about what she did but she is not able to, she said that she does not remember any of the good parts of our relationship and there were many. I told her that this is a pattern that she follows, she even told me the second day that we met: "if I try to leave you, don't ever let me". Then we started talking more and get into more detail, how she wanted to move in together, how she wanted more, ofc I never denied her that opportunity, but I signed a contract with just 7 days before we met and can't break it off, she did realize that these are the circumstances. But it still looks like she blames me for how I reacted when she pulled away from me, which is not bad, as I tried to fix things, but I did tried to get closer when she was trying to get away. Nevertheless, told her that she has selective memory and that is why she is not able to remember the good, but if she talks with me it looks like she realizes and remembers. Ofc she already mentioned another's boy name am dhow she met his mom and it was better than my family, and when I asked who that boy is she said that it's irrelevant 🤣🤣 I told her that I have no hate for her and that it's all water under the bridge, but then she proceeded to tell me what she went through in the last days and how it has been hard for me. So yeah guys, apparently they do feel bad and get back to you, but only to get some sort of validation I assume. Never take them back. Oh and she also said that she does not talk with her family anymore because everybody liked me and everybody told her that she is crazy for what she's doing, that they finally thought she fixed her head. And then she proceeded to tell me no, the issue is still there🤣 I do feel a little bad, she might already have someone, but even if she does, she came to me, laughed with me, made jokes about how she misses my cat and everything, so while it's not fair to the other guy, I take it as a win. Stay no contact.

I (24F) recently was in a relationship with a man (24M) we'll call him JK (lol). I met him on a dating app and I was very clear I was looking for a long term relationship and uninterested in non commital/short flings. We talked for two weeks before meeting in person. We had great chemistry over call, text, and FaceTime. We were excited to see each other in person and when we did the chemistry only multiplied.
We jumped into things quickly even though I initially expressed I wanted to take things slow. We ended up deciding to date exclusively after seeing each other person only two times (I folded like a lawn chair, I know). I really liked him though, and I felt like he really liked me. He made me feel like the only girl in the world. I recognize it now as love bombing. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. I became caught up in this little whirlwind, and was soon yanked back down to earth when he pulled a full 180 on me out of nowhere only a month later.
Suddenly one day he wasn't calling as much, texting as much, he wasn't asking how my day was. He stopped asking to see me as well, and was suddenly always "too busy" when I asked if I could come see him. We barely talked and when he did he was cold, cagey, and distant. I was confused and worried that maybe I'd done something wrong or that something had happened.
After a week and a half of this behavior he casually mentioned he was dealing with some pretty extreme life events. I'm not going to go into detail about them since I feel it might make it easy to figure out his identity. I might be angry at him but everyone deserves their privacy.
I waited another two weeks patiently, hoping things might go back to the way they were before. I gave him space and I was receptive when he reached out to me. He was still dry and seemed uninterested when we would communicate though.
I talked to my friend about it and after this I decided to send a short and simple message telling him the way things were going wasn't working for me, that I was starting to feel he wasn't in a place in his life to have a relationship, but that I'd be open to sticking around if he felt he wanted to try to work things out. He panicked and said he didn't want to break up and apologized for being distant and cold. Suddenly he cared so much about me and was so worried he had hurt me. I didn't really believe he meant it though. He agreed that maybe he just wasn't in a place right now to prioritize me the way that I deserved. Then he said that maybe a break would be the best option.
I agreed to it knowing full well that there was an extremely high chance that we were probably finished for good. I've never heard of or known a relationship that was healthy and functional where they needed to "take breaks" from it. I had already been detaching myself for a while at this point so it wasn't such a gut punch for me. Still I was holding out some hope though. We agreed to stay in touch with one another every once in a while to keep each other updated and all that.
Not two days later, he unadded me on everything and ghosts me. On the phone I bought him no less. I felt angry at first, but soon accepted it. I felt my feelings for a day or two and then threw myself into work and got back on the dating apps. After all, it was only a short fling wasn't it? Yes, I was played for a fool. But life goes on. Millions of fish in the sea and all that.
The other day I was at work and went onto my Doordarsh app, thinking I'd order myself some lunch. I was browsing the resturaunts in my area when a thought occurred to me. I thought to myself, there's no way it's still saved right? I go and check my payment methods, and you'll never guess what was still saved in my account. His Debit card.
I thought about it for probably two seconds before I decided to try it. It's possible he could've gotten a different one, or that it wouldn't have sufficient funds. So I attempted to put an order through for around $30 after taxes and tip. It worked. I ate my lunch and let me tell you that that fast food has never tasted better. I don't think I will do it again, and I'm honestly just surprised it worked in the first place. But I think that small part of me is now satisfied in feeling that we are "even" now.