I had a 5.5 year old white German Shepherd. One night I came home from work and he was not eating, the next day he still hadn’t eaten anything. Later that night his neck and face were incredibly swollen so I rushed him to the emergency vet. The vet sedated him and examined his throat and showed me that his tonsils were the size of golf balls. They also ultrasound and aspirated his swollen neck but nothing was shown. They sent me home with antibiotics and anti inflammatory saying that if it does not get better that it could be an abscess due to a foreign body such as a fox tail weed which we do have in our yard or an allergic reaction and we should plan CT/Exploratory surgery and told me it could be around 3k for those before treatment and stay. The diagnosis at the time was majority cellulitis.
During the course of his medicine he improved greatly. His facial swelling went down, he started acting normal, eating as usual, but his throat swelling was still present.
After the medicine was finished he was still good until 2 days later his eyes looked a little red. I planned on going to a standard vet that was 2 days out because he was still playing, eating, etc. The next day I came home and his eyes were half red and looked to be filled with blood. I was freaking out and noticed he was, what I thought at the time lethargic and also not eating again.
I brought him back to the emergency vet and as soon as I walked in they told me he was blind (bilateral hyphema) and my heart sank, I could only think if I brought him in the previous day then maybe his vision could’ve been saved as he could see 24 hours prior. Shortly after telling me that, the vet immediately told me it doesn’t look good. He had a fever of 105.9 and the swelling in his neck was firm as a rock. She first said it could very well be cancer. The inflammation was so bad it caused the bleeding in his eyes. She then told me they couldn’t do anything because they didn’t have a CT machine there but decided to x ray him anyway. Nothing showed up.
After the x ray the vet just looked at me. She told me that she read in my report that I couldn’t really afford a CT scan and the future surgery and that she could prescribe me another round of medicine to give it one last shot and to think about “quality of life” during that week. I immediately knew what that meant and I lost it. Man in his 30s crying for the first time in a while in front of all these people. She then proceeded to tell me that “It would be an alright choice to put him to sleep now.”
It was a blur, she kind of just guided me in there and it started happening, placing IV etc... Honestly I can’t even remember if I said anything or shook my head a certain way to result in this but I went along anyway thinking is was the right thing. Anyway, 30 minutes later he was peacefully, permanently, asleep in my arm. Then I just walked out with his collar that I came in with and left him. My shirt covered in his hair and slobber…
I feel an incredible amount of guilt. He was purely innocent and so happy. Playing ball with me not even 24 hours prior. It was true I didn’t have money to pays for the thousands in vet bills. I have a stay at home wife and a 1 year old and 3 year old boy and didn’t have the type of money I had prior to all of that… but the thing is I had him first and he didn’t ask for any of this. Looking back I should have sold my car and took a bus to work or something to just try the CT. I cannot believe I let him go so easily.
I don’t know why I’m posting this. I guess I think that someone should know what I’ve done.
Sorry.

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74

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★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39

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★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15

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★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64

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★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79

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★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79

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★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53

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★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26

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★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11

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★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08

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★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12

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★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96

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★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46

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★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66

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★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21

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★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28

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★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32

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★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55

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★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

WEAPONS

AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95

M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43

AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38

StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97

StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96

StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85

Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42

AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Ramese's Reach, Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Apep's Curse, Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Mummy's Rot, Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Black Nile, Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Steel Delta, Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Waters of Nephthys, Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Eye of Horus, Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (ScaraB Rush, Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Sobek's Bite, Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Copper Coated, Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Paris 2023, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.

Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.

Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.

Snail: Dedede! King Dedede! The most greedy, tyrannical, and goofy penguin in all of dream land!
Bowser: Self made ruler of the land and by that I mean he kicked everyone’s butts and nobody could stop him! He took all the food in dream land! He’s starving a planet the fuck-
Snail: King Dedede would smash anyone who stepped in his way as massive ego boosts for the unrighteousness and undeserving king! All until a certain Star Warrior name Kirby came along!
“Hiiii!”
Bowser: Kirby kicked Dedede’s ass not once but TWICE! And in one game geez dude he didn’t even have copy abilities yet that’s sad!
Snail: But even still Kirby showed the king… kindness?
Bowser: This really changed Dedede’s view on things by the next game he tried saving dream land! I mean while looking like a dick because he sucks at asking for help but he’s trying!
Snail: While it would take time Dedede was on the path to redemption! But he’d have to be strong!
Bowser: While not as strong he fought with and alongside Kirby on multiple occasions! And even defeat Magolor and his ship! Magolor’s ship could cross another dimension a higher dimension that exists above time and space! And even destroy another dimension!
Snail: And while he had his trust hammer to clobber the bad guys and that there Kirby he wanted a bitttt more!
Bowser: Like the invincible Candy that can make King Dedede entirely invulnerable for a short period of time! Or his jet hammer that has missiles! And is a flame thrower!
Snail: Even with mask and hammer King Dedede is a king… SO HE HAS AN ARMY! Like his snail servant super cool right hand man! Escargon! He’s not much of a fighter… but he and Dedede have a car with a canon on it!
Bowser: What about the Waddle Dees! You got ones with spears, a guy with a bandanna, umbrellas, cars, they the waddle boys!
Snail: Of course they aren’t very strong or competent fighter with Bandanna Waddle Dee being the only notable exception but they are all extremely loyal to their king to the bitter end! No matter what! And Dedede loves all of them willing to put his life on the line to save them!
Bowser: In order to keep him say he learned a ton of powers! He can regenerate after being stabbed or come back as a ghost by absorbing life force! He can fly! And inhale his enemies and spit them out!
Snail: A lesser version of what Kirby can do! Because King Dedede always wants to one up Kirby!
Bowser: Why do that when the King has his own abilities and weapons that are just as cool! Like bombs! Every good game villain like us needs bombs!
Snail: His mask amplifies his own power greatly and he can shoot electricity out his hands to paralyze people!
Bowser: He can summon the monster of the week from Nightmare enterprises although don’t expect him to pay!
Snail: Lovely! Ya know too think all this cuz he was beefing with a baby.
Bowser: King Dedede’s intelligence may seem below average but it’s far from it, he is a master fighter with experience fighting aliens, robots, alien robots, gods and bug queens! And even drive giant mechs like the the Dedededestroyer Z! A giant mech with more missiles and a hammer arm! It’s huge!
Snail: What a self absorbed penguin! But he’s there for his friends thick and thin! While before he was unwilling to allow Kirby to help him, he went from that to be fine cowering behind Kirby and being happy to see his now friend.
Bowser: Maybe Dedede ain’t so bad! Like when he got double mind control in forgotten land! He became stronger than ever but didn’t care that he lost!
Snail: But when a giant bunch of animals attack our heroes and a Waddle fell behind Dedede tossed that Waddle to make sure he was safe with Kirby and was ready to put down his life and fight alone to protect his friends and subjects
Bowser: And hey he survived! What a legend! He may be kind of a jerk at times but he’s a caring jerk!
Snail: I think Dedede shows us all why we should be kind because one act of kindness can change the worst people for the better!

Bowser: In the world of Hazbin Hotel where angels purrge Hell once a year none can hold a candle in terms of crafty building as Sir Pentious!
Snail: While he may not be as smart as me he’s a very dangerous man! Sir Pentious is a sinner and they’re people who died and of course, went to hell!
Bowser: Very bad ones! While it's unknown how he died we know when! Back in 1888! He's a whole sas steampunk inventor so he had time to learn how to make hell weapons I guess!
Snail: Sir Pentious as a sinner has all the regular sinner powers you'd expect! He can regenerate missing arms and he's immortal as a never-aging demon, without death, as a possibility for him cuz he ya know died.
Bowser: He was a ruthless crime lord who survived the complete vaporization of his airship a feat that would have required him to tank 104 tons of TNT! And he's considered a physical wimp in hell! Oh yeah, he has an airship!
Snail: It comes equipped with lasers, giant thrusters, and more lasers! And even a holy laser!
Bowser: His minions are the Egg Boiz they are egg people who are fierce and loyal they also have electricity guns!
Snail: Sir Pentious wields a chain for combat as well as a spider like well… arm thing? I'm not sure what this is.
Bowser: He may not be the best in hand to hand but he still has the hands and even if he struggles he can use his many eyes over his body to shortly stun or hypnotize you! Combine that with a poisonous bite and he’s no push over! Well maybe he is but-
Snail: He should also be far superior to imps like Blitz! Who can fight robots who can dodge sniper shots at Mach 9! Making Sir Pent very very fast!
Bowser: He really just wanted to be an overlord a ruler of hell but instead he was manipulated by a group of overlords and force to spy on the Hazbin Hotel where sinners get redeemed!
Snail: But he got caught extremely fast and got told to Low Tier God himself by his boss! But god damn the Hotel was nice enough to let him get redeemed! He made friends, joined them in bondage, and crushed on the fire bomb! Cherry Bomb!
Bowser: But to save her and the rest of the hotel he gave his life to stop Adam and shoot a laser at him! The same Adam who could cut mountains! No, he got killed before he could hit but even Adam admits it could've gotten ugly if he was hit!
Snail: And hey for his good actions he went to heaven! I’d say this Hazbin turned his afterlife around pretty damn well!

The episode resumed on a shot of Zee and Jo, their skin tones back to normal, running up to a smiling Chris. "Welcome back," he told the camera. "Zee and helper Jo are the first to arrive here, at the world's largest mud puddle!" The camera pulled back, revealing that the trio was standing near the edge of a large lake of burbling mud, a measuring stick rising out of it at the nearest edge.
"It's eight feet deep," Chris explained over a close-up of the measuring stick showing the mud reaching up very nearly to the 8' mark, "and 200 yards across. And," the camera quick-panned to the far right side of the 'puddle', "since it's too thick to swim through," the shot cut back to the couple and Chris, "the only way to the other side is with one of you piggybacking the other."
"Umm...," Zee said hesitantly, sharing a wary look with Jo, "doesn't that mean the person on the bottom..."
"Will drown?" Chris finished. "Yes."
"What?!" Jo said in wide-eyed shock.
"Unless they use this garden hose!" Chris added, a light chime playing as he held up a length of green hose.
Zee let out a breath. "Okay then. Guess I'm on the bottom, then."
Jo's eyes widened a bit in a brief bit of surprise, and she looked at her partner. "I should be objecting to this since I'm supposed to be the helper, but hey. No heavy lifting from me."
"Yeah…" Zee agreed half heartedly.
Confessional: Zee
"I was able to hold Jo onto my back while we were skiing," Zee told the confessional. "I can still do the same while under mud."
Confessional Ends
"I know that I said you were weak in the past," Jo said, "but that was until I saw that you were able to make it this far in the game."
"You thought wrong about me," Zee replied. "I wasn’t active at first in challenges and finding food, but with Julia eliminated, I was able to grow and become a finalist."
Chris suddenly stepped between the two. "How touching. Now start the challenge."
The scene cut to Zee and Jo jumping into the mud, the former disappearing below its depths while the latter, on his shoulders, held up the length of the hose. They started moving forward, and the camera panned back to the left to show Harold, Scarlett, and Chris holding up another length of hose.
"Yeah, I'll be on top," Harold stated.
"Pardon me?" Scarlett countered, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't trust you not to let me drown," Harold told her. "Self-preservation comes first."
Scarlett groaned. "That's fair," she said, taking the hose from Chris, "but if you let me suffocate, I'm dragging you down into the mud with me."
"Crustal," Harold deadpanned, and as Scarlett crouched down, she jumped onto the brainiac's shoulders. Scarlett stood back up and put the end of the hose in her mouth, and she jumped into the mud.
The tense music faded away as the camera moved onto Chris, the host sighing as Chef walked up. "You think the mud was a bad idea?" Chris asked. "It's a little quiet… oh yeah," Chris said as if in sudden realization, "almost forgot about the Peanut Gallery. Bring 'em back in!" he said into a walkie talkie he only then pulled out.
Moments later, the wind kicked up around them, and the camera zoomed out to show the large helicopter flying in with the former contestants still hanging – and screaming as they swayed ominously – below it. "Would you let us down already?!" Leshawna shouted angrily. "It's freezin' up here!"
"Yeah, I want to cheer for Zee!" Julia chimed in.
"If I wasn't tied up right now, I'd have half a mind to pound you!" Duncan shouted at the host.
The camera focused on DJ. "Hey, Chris?" he looked forward and asked loudly. "Just bring us down before anybody else gets miffed at you!"
"No, and I don't care," Chris answered with a calm smile, until Chef whispered to him. A flat note played over a close-up of Chris staring blankly at him. "Huh...good point," he admitted. "Ooh!" he said with a sudden grin. "I just had an idea!"
A flash took the scene to Zee and Jo, the tense challenge music resuming at a low volume and slow pace in the background. They were still slogging through the mud, Zee out of sight but Jo only submerged up to her stomach. She looked back over her shoulder, smiled, then said "Keep going!" into the piece of hose she was holding. "They're way far behind!"
Confessional: Zee
"So as it turns out," Zee said, "being submerged in the mud is kinda like being trapped in the dark. But there aren't any animals below to scare me."
Confessional Ends
The music ramped up as Jo suddenly stopped moving, then seemed to turn around and start moving back towards the start. "Uh, Fruit Loop?" she asked into the hose. "We're going the wrong way!"
The camera cut to Harold, looking somewhat bored as he held the hose atop Scarlett's shoulders, before noticing the other team and frowning. "Why are they coming this way?"
"Ugh! They're too safe to sabotage each other!" came the sudden voice of Chris McLean, the camera cutting to him standing in the show's jeep with Chef at the wheel, speaking into the microphone of the jeep's loudspeaker. "Deploy the 2.0 model!"
The shot cut back to Harold and Jo as they looked around with strange expressions, the sound of something like a rocket taking off coming from somewhere in the distance. They looked up and to the left, and the camera shifted to their viewpoint to show a large object shooting up through the sky overhead...
...then abruptly diving towards them, revealing itself as a red-eyed robotic bear with small jet engines coming out of its back. Harold and Jo screamed as their respective partners continued in their previous directions, getting out of the way as the Bear landed in the mud. It hit with enough force to cause a wave of mud, which shot all the way across the puddle carrying the finalists and their helpers along for the ride. All four immediately began to cough upon landing in a muddy heap.
Confessional: Harold
"At least I have a better shot," Harold said. "We're tied right now, but who knows what other tricks Chris has up his sleeves."
Confessional Ends
A close-up of the nozzle of a fire hose in Chef's hands preceded him blasting the muddy finalists and helpers with water, all four screaming where they'd landed on the shore of the 'puddle'. Moments later, the water was shut off, leaving them drenched but clean.
"We're all tied up," Chris announced with a smile. "Perfect time for a little break. First, let's bring in the Peanut Gallery again." He took out his remote and pointed it at a patch of ground nearby, a hole opening up in it and a rather shoddy-looking set of stadium seats shooting up out of it with the ten former contestants seated – and still tied-up – in it.
"Sha-finally," Lightning said, the shot cutting to him sitting in the top row with B, DJ, Duncan, and Max and Leshawna, Ella, Julia, Sammy, and Amy in the bottom row. "Are we gonna get to watch the rest of the challenge now?"
"Yup!" Chris answered with a happy smile, pressing the button on his remote again so that a large widescreen television emerged from another hole in the ground near him and the finalists.
"Will you untie us too?" Ella chimed in.
Chris huffed. "Whine, whine, whine," he said in annoyance. "Don't I do enough for you kids as it is?"
"No," all fourteen of the season's cast members replied at the same time.
A flat note played over a close-up of the host pursing his lips. "Yeah, I owe Chef twenty bucks about that," Chris said, the camera zooming back out again to show the finalists and helpers. "Everyone, grab a seat," he instructed, and the four reluctantly sat down on the logs lying behind them. "I'm gonna show you some of my favorite clips from the show..." He pointed his remote at the TV, and the shot focused in as it switched on and started to play footage of a confessional...
"Dunderhead was already pretty useless," Jo complained. "But now he's making moves on one of the actually decent players on the team? Not on my watch!"
The camera cut in close to show Jo pausing and looking back. "Something on your mind, Anti-Squeakerbox?" she asked, the camera shifting to show B peering at her and shaking his head.
“It's not what you think it is," Jo told him. "As long as they are on this team, Julia and Zee will not date."
“Not exactly how I wanted the elimination to play, but hey. Julia’s gone and with Zee still in the game, I could manipulate him into doing whatever I say,” Jo grinned.
The footage paused, and Chris leaned out in front of the television with a wide and mischievous grin. "Seems like there isn't a shipper on deck…" he said impishly.
"So you were trying to keep me and Julia apart?" Zee said as the camera moved to him and Jo, his eyes wide with shock. "Does this mean that...,"
"Yup. I convinced Julia to quit," Jo replied. "I didn't expect her to fully go through with it since I was gonna vote you out!"
"I can't believe you'd try and do that!" Zee said with a glare!"
"If I didn't do what I did, then you two likely would've blown challenges for us like the dueling one!" Jo argued back.
The camera focused on Julia in the Peanut Gallery. "I was trying to defend my boyfriend, but sure," she said dryly.
"I'm just worried what Chris is gonna show from Scarlett," Sammy said. "It looks like he wants to mess up the finalists and their helpers..."
"Maybe he won't show anything?" Amy suggested. "I mean, it's not like Scarlett and Harold were that close to begin with."
The shot cut back to a smiling Chris. "Oh, don't worry, I have no intention of leaving those guys out of all this fun," he said happily.
"I don't see how," Scarlett said. "Harold already knows everything about me now. I’m practically an open book."
Chris laughed. "Seems you forgot that the cameras are always on. So here's some more juicy information that everybody gets to hear." The screen on the TV went from static to a scene from the fifth episode.
Scarlett herself grabbed the dueling stick Ella retrieved, fished an electric eel out of the water, and tossed it to Max. "Max!" she cried, and her teammates looked at her in confusion, prompting her to pretend that she had coughed. "Pardon me!"
“The plan was for Max to be the only one not in the trap, so the team would know he built it and vote him off!” Scarlett confessed.
"I overheard Leshawna and Harold's conversation when they were foraging together, and Leshawna being on to me is something that I refuse to let happen," Scarlett claimed. “Zee's really gullible enough to deceive, and I'll try to talk to Ella.”
A deep, dramatic note was struck over a shot of Harold in shock. "So it was you who got Leshawna eliminated!" he scowled in Scarlett's direction.
"I wasn't ready to come out just yet, and between the two of you, you were less likely to warn anyone about me!" Scarlett retorted.
"So all this time, Scarlett was aiming to usurp her master!" Max ranted.
"I don't blame her," Leshawna commented. “As much of a pain as she is, I would've done the same thing and sent your annoying behind home.”
"Okay," Chris said happily as the shot moved onto him, "I'm sensing some major hostility and I'm liking it. I'm out of popcorn, though, so we should probably get back to the challenge."
"Seriously?!" the finalists and helpers alike exclaimed.
"Obviously, the helpers aren't gonna be very helpful anymore," Chris replied. "So, instead of helpers, Jo and Scarlett will now be hinderers." As he spoke, Chef walked back into view with a pair of video game controllers, tossing one each to Scarlett and Jo. "The island is now back online," Chris continued, "and, with these controllers, they will be able to throw up obstacles to throw you down, or, completely crush you."
The shot cut to Scarlett as she looked at her controller and smirked. "Good to know."
"Looking forward to it," Jo said in determination.
Harold and Zee gulped, and Chris laughed. "That was the good part," he said. "Let me tell you the bad part. You have ten minutes to finish this challenge," he told Zee and Harold. "If neither of you do, Scarlett and Jo get to split the money."
"Dude, what?" Zee said in shock.
"You can't do that!" Harold protested.
"I can! I will! I am! GO!" Chris announced, blowing his airhorn right in Chef's face, earning an annoyed sigh from the man. Harold and Zee immediately ran off, but the camera cut to a close-up of a thoughtful Jo.
"Well...I want the money, but I'm not really comfortable with how this is set up," Jo said to herself. "But...I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I just made this a little more challenging for them..."
"Do what you want," Scarlett said, the camera panning over to show her grinning darkly with her controller in hand. "I'm getting my justice."
Confessional: Jo
“And I thought I was an underhanded person,” Jo mentioned to herself. “Velma has less morals than me and Gnome Master.”
Confessional: Scarlett
"I was snubbed in the last episode," Scarlett confessed. "And now that I've been given permission, I can stop the finalists from winning without getting electrocuted!" She pulled out the remote from the seventh episode. "I don't even need this device. I have a controller to do the job for it."
Confessionals End
A few quick drum taps opened up a deep and dangerous challenge theme, the scene returning to Zee and Harold sprinting across the open field only to gape in shock as the pine trees in the background starting launching like rockets.
"What the heck?" Harold said. "Rocket trees?"
One landed right behind them, forcing both finalists to roll forward out of the way. "This island is wild!" Zee cried as the two continued running, more and more trees landing behind them like massive spears.
The two were shown together in a brief close-up, raising their eyebrows in surprise. A quick-pan ahead revealed the landscape changing, trees and rock formations rising up out of the artificial ground to form a large, dense barrier.
Harold jumped ahead of Zee as they climbed over the first big rock formation.
Zee vaulted downward and dashing forward along a lower 'path' among the rocks. Just as he was about to jump down onto grass, however, a boulder shot upward – and he landed on it groin-first. A close-up showed him letting out a high-pitched squeal of pain.
Harold's wince drew the camera's attention back upward to show him leaping from a boulder and grabbing onto the branch of a tree, only for the tree to suddenly shoot back down into the ground – causing him to yell as it dragged him down and slammed him back-first onto a fallen log.
Zee gave him a quick concerned glance as he jumped onto the same log, then upwards onto a rock formation before climbing onward and to the right and out of sight.
The scene cut back to the hinderers, both still working their controllers with Scarlett still looking considerably happier about it. "No need to change what works," Jo said uncertainty.
"What happened to that cutthroat attitude you've been displaying?" Scarlett asked. "Don't throw it away when I can get something out of it. And lower some of those trees. They're giving them too much cover from this storm I'm whipping up."
The camera panned onto the monitor to show Zee and Harold struggling against a powerful wind as they walked through what looked like a dense forest as leaves, dust, branches, and various small woodland animals blew past them.
A focus on the monitor's screen transitioned the scene back to the challenge. "I think...I can see the finish line in the distance," Zee said, pausing for a moment as he struggled against the intense gale.
"They're not making this easy on us," Harold commented.
The pair briefly passed behind a thick and mossy pine tree, the camera zooming in slightly as they reappeared. "Would you?" Zee asked.
"...I guess not," Harold answered after a moment.
The shot cut back to the Peanut Gallery to show them watching with worry and anticipation. "C'mon, Harold," Leshawna spoke. "Just hang in there."
"I know you can win this, Zee," Julia said. "You deserve it after everything."
Then the camera cut back to the hinderers, Chris standing next to their monitor with his hands behind his back and a smile on his face. "Ooh! They're getting close!" he said excitedly, prompting Scarlett to scowl and Jo to frown.
Once more the scene moved back to the finalists, their arms raised to buffer themselves against the winds – snow beginning to fall and lightning beginning to crack in the background - with Harold in the lead. "Two minutes left!" Chris called out over the island's loudspeaker. "Two minutes!"
"I...," Harold said with glee. "I think I can make it!"
"Not if I can help it!" Zee shouted, speeding up as the dense trees around him and Harold began to recede into the ground – and the tense and dangerous challenge music resumed. "If I win, me and Julia can go out and change the world together."
"I have to win this," Harold told him. "I've been undervalued and looked down on by my peers, friends, and even my family. I need to prove my might."
The snowy ground below their feet began to crack. A hollow sound played, then all at once, the ground shot up under them, earning startled yells from both. The shot soon cut to the new peak they were standing on rising up into the sky, then stopping.
"Drats..." Zee muttered, both finalists looking down with wide eyes. his final word echoed as the camera zoomed out, revealing the snowy mountain they were now at the top of.
The Peanut Gallery was shown gasping, as were Jo, though Scarlett was smiling as their misfortune. "Twenty seconds left...!" Chris said as the camera moved on to him looking at his watch.
The shot cut back to Harold. "I guess it's over," he sighed. “Scarlett wins after all.”
Zee noticed a bulge in the snow beside him. The boy shoved his hand into it and pulled out the phone Duncan stole from Chris. "I don't know how this got here, but we have to get down. Start stomping the ground."
Harold nodded and stomped on the ground at his feet, and after a few cracks, Zee hurled the phone down, breaking the device apart. Their eyes widened as the mountain began to crumble under them, and the ground imploded in on itself.
"Six! Five!" Chris began to count off, the music cutting out save for a single plodding note to highlight each number. "Four!" The camera panned onto the television, showing both finalists tumbling through the snow and rock. "Three! Two! One!" The shot cut to the finish banner, then zoomed out to show the avalanche stopping just under it – with neither finalist in sight. "GAME OVER!" he announced, blowing on his airhorn as a subdued but triumphant riff played.
Jo stood up in surprise, and Scarlett started cheering.
"My mission was a success!" Scarlett said in victory. “Now hand over my well-deserved prize!”
"Congratulations Jo and Scarlett," Chris said with his usual smile. "Revenge is sweetest-" he glanced at the monitor- "ohhhhh, what have we here?" he said with a sudden look of shock, the music cutting out as he pointed at the television screen.
A sharp note played as a familiar hand stuck out of the snow lying just past the finish line and waved. Scarlett's jaw dropped in shock, and Jo let out a sigh of relief.
The scene cut to the finish line, the camera pulling back a little ways as Chef walked up with a stretcher, dressed as a female nurse. Leshawna ran onscreen and pushed him out of the way. Chef flew off frame with a shout, and Leshawna grabbed the arm and pulled, freeing a shocked and snowy Harold from the aftermath of the avalanche. "Oh," he groaned, looking around as Leshawna dropped him on the stretcher, "what happened?" he asked as the victorious music began to play again with much more enthusiasm.
"You won, Ginger Baby!" Leshawna answered with a smile, the camera pulling out even more to show Harold looking back at the finish banner.
"I did it!" Harold said excitedly. "Harold Norbert Cheever Doris McGrady V has claimed victory! Boo yah!" he raised his arms and cheered, the shot cutting away to show all of the Peanut Gallery cheering.
“We weren't able to talk to each other as much, and it's clear we like each other as more than just friends, but how about we hang out a little bit back home and see where things go?” Leshawna suggested.
“As long as we don't rush into a committed relationship, I'd like that,” Harold smiled back.
The camera panned to the left to show Julia frantically pulling a dazed and half-conscious Zee from the rest of the avalanche, and picking him up onto her back.
"Julia," Zee said weakly, "I'm sorry that I-"
"Be quiet," Julia said with a weak smile as she carried her boyfriend over to the stretcher and set him down next to Harold. "You need to rest."
"But-" Zee tried to say.
He was cut off by Julia grabbing his head and kissing him full on the lips. "You didn’t win the money, but we can still provide for the world in our own ways, and with the power of love," she said with a smile as she broke the kiss, leaving Zee looking dopey.
The capstone theme began to play as the footage skipped ahead to a shot of the open sky, the double-rotored helicopter soon flying up into view. "That's it for this very, very off season," Chris began, standing in the open doorway with Zee and Julia sitting on the edge letting their legs dangle freely with Julia leaning into Zee; Harold and Scarlett standing on either side of Chris, the latter annoyed and the former grinning while holding the suitcase full of money to his chest; and the rest of the cast, crouching down and peering over in the gaps between and behind the rest, constantly jockeying for position as they tried to get one last shot of themselves on camera.
"This is Chris McLean, saying if you can't stand the pain-" the handsome host continued, the shot cutting in closer- "stay off the Total! Drama! Paaaahkitew Island!"
"RE-VENGE!" Max suddenly yelled from behind Scarlett, shoving her out of the helicopter, and the brainiac screamed as she fell.
The camera lingered on the dumbfounded looks of Chris and the other ex-campers, all of them staring at Max in shock. "This is how a traitor should be rewarded," he said, crossing his arms and closing his eyes defiantly.
The ex-campers and host burst out laughing, and a fun and energetic tune started to play. The camera panned over to the windshield to show Chef laughing along with the rest of the cast from the pilot's seat, and the helicopter flew away.
The music soon faded away, though, and the scene quick-panned down to show a screaming Scarlett landing in the giant mud puddle. She quickly surfaced with a shocked splutter, and pulled herself out onto dry land. "How am I going to get home now because of those imbeciles?!"
A few ominous notes were struck, and a ferocious growl caught Scarlett's attention. She looked up, and the camera zoomed out to show Scuba Bear 2.0 standing over her, eyes red. "Heheh," the brainiac laughed nervously. "You're not going to hurt me are you?"
The scene abruptly cut outward to the full long-distance shot of the island, the ominous music ending as Scarlett's scream and Scuba Bear's snarl echoed across the lake.
(Roll the Credits)
Lightning - 14th
DJ - 13th
Amy - 12th
B - 11th
Julia - 10th
Max - 9th
Leshawna - 8th
MERGE
Jo - 7th
Duncan - 6th
Ella - 5th
Sammy - 4th
Scarlett - 3rd
Zee - 2nd
Harold - 1st

[ First / Previous ]
Memory Transcription Subject: Hileen, Krakotl Fugitive Recovery Agent
Date [standardized human time]: November 28th, 2136
It'd been a while since I sat in Marlig's office for a talk face-to-face. Given the agency's secluded location at the edge of the downtown region, it was a chore to drop by when it wasn't for business, but I'd deemed the matter at hand to be worth my time.
I passed by Nampi at her desk on my way to the door and she gave me a coy glare as I carried on. Trying to ignore her risible ear waggle, I turned the corner to the door with my boss’s name painted on the glass panel where I could hear the frantic crumpling of paper.
Quietly, I entered Marlig's office without prompt as I knew he hated to be spooked by knocking. My mentor was surprisingly spry for a bird at his age, sorting through papers with one wing and an eye while using his talons with the other to set away the papers he had splayed out.
“Hileen!” he chirped. “Glad you could make it in today. I was just finishing up my paperwork. Take a seat.”
It was always nice to hear him drop the professional motif for a more grandfatherly attitude when speaking in person. I did as he suggested and took a seat while he grumbled to himself over the sorting. My eye caught a few of the old contracts he was rifling through and saw that some dated back to his days as an agent.
Eventually, he left some sitting out as he sequestered the rest back into their files, sorted by a dichotomy that only he and Nampi could comprehend fully. He motioned with a wing for me to peruse and I turned the first one to face me to find it was my first contract, signed by me in a sloppy fashion. “This takes me back a couple of years.”
“Slick bastard thought he could get away on a forklift but you showed him! Certainly more exciting than my first day!”
“Mm-hmm. And it was when I nearly got impaled that you had the idea to commission all of us utility vests.”
He chuckled, “I really should’ve done so sooner. Cuts and scratches were already a risk, but a forklift was a new one!”
I flipped through the pages of each report, finding that Marlig's notes were filled with praises of my work. There were highs and lows, but I was flattered to find that the grizzled krakotl held my performance in such high regard.
“Flawless interception!” read one footnote about me catching a runner. “Couldn't have done it better myself!”
Marlig waited patiently as I browsed quickly through each page, realizing more and more how the notes also marked improvements in my work. How I found it easier to talk down a rowdy client, or apprehend them in the case that they were beyond helping on my part. Flowery language plastered most pages with him fawning over my work as a doting father would to his prodigal child.
The trend took a sharp turn as the notes became fewer and more critical the closer the dates reached to the present. I brushed the others aside with a wing to peruse the final paper. “And this…”
“Is Tac. Your latest contract. The most recent in a line of declining performance since the interview. This has become a pattern, Hileen, and its consequences are beginning to reach beyond yourself. Paji and Vesek resigned recently for personal reasons, which leaves us even less hands on deck than before. That's four people to cover the entire municipal region, and maybe even beyond, should needs arise. Three, if we include this little probation I have you on.”
“What was I supposed to do? Marlig, these ‘jobs’ you've got us working on overstep the contracts we were signed on with. Our job is to make sure people obey their court-mandated duties, not drag them off to the facilities ourselves!”
“... So the trip we took to the facilities did bother you.”
A sigh clicked in my throat as he reminded me. “Is that what happens to the people we take in, Marlig? Is that what would've happened to your wife?”
His feathers ruffled.
“That's what happens to those who are too dangerous to the general public to be left roaming free. Not everyone we deal with winds up there, but everyone can be subject to it. Miskela sued for her exoneration and proved in court that she was not diseased. I brought you there to show you how it helps the people, but I see now that it was a mistake. I understand why you were so perturbed, really, but it's how things have been for centuries. It's how we've protected ourselves from the dangers out there.”
“You were willing to let Barsul be interned there, too.”
Marlig flinched and sighed as he swept the papers towards himself once I'd signaled I was done. He turned one eye to me while he sorted them.
“There's no room for favoritism, girl. I negotiated for him to be allowed to walk free, and look where that got me. That boy - your neighbor - suffered the consequences of my nepotism. So too would the girl, had nobody intervened.”
“Like Richard.”
“The human, yes. Or you. Or the police. Where does this sudden obsession with humans come from, anyway? I get notifications of you talking about the acceptance of them all the time on forums.”
“Does it even need explaining?”
“Well, I guess not, no, but it's certainly an about-face from the way you used to talk about them with me beforehand.”
“People can change, for better or worse. Which one I fall under remains to be seen.”
Marlig stroked at the plumage on his neck as he finished his sorting. “I hope it's the former, for your sake. Was there any reason you came to talk, or were you just checking that I hadn't gone senile?”
“Well, I was hoping to borrow your secretary for the evening.”
He perked up while his eyes narrowed and he laced his fingers together with curiosity. “You… want to spend an evening with Nampi?”
“It's not what you're insinuating, but yes.”
“I was insinuating nothing,” he warbled coyly. “Go ahead and take her, and make sure to split the bill at dinner.”
“Pain-in-the-ass geezer. I'll keep in touch if your friend causes any more trouble.”
“Keep in touch regardless. Miskela and I get lonely in our old age,” he called back. “Take care.”
I stepped out into the hallway and turned toward the desk where I could hear the secretary's claws tapping furtively at her keyboard. Nampi sat silently with her ears and tail in a relaxed position that implied a bored demeanor. There was barely any response as I stood before her, waiting politely for her acknowledgment that never came.
Hesitantly, I cleared my throat.
An ear raised in acknowledgement, but her focus remained on the screen of her computer. “Mhm?”
“Do you…?”
Her ear rotated toward me, though she still maintained a passive attitude as she continued to glare mindlessly at the monitor.
“Are you free this evening?”
“Well, I'm quite booked, I believe. Why do you ask?”
I was surprised at her curt, dry tone. She hadn't spoken with me like this since we first got to know one another.
“Well,” I started. “I realized something. Every time we went out, whether it was clubbing, or dinner, or even walking around the parks, you always footed the bill. And so…”
Slowly, her other ear perked up and I saw her keystrokes slow down as she listened in.
“I wanted to return the favor?”
Her lips smacked as she opened her mouth, though paused before she spoke. “How could you possibly do that?”
“With a little gesture of friendship.”
Nampi's horizontal pupil turned up toward me and her tail twitched.
I continued, “So that belt you're wearing? It's the same belt you've worn since we first met. And I know you're the pragmatic type who'd never spend a credit more than she needs to, except for all the times you do"- her ears twitched in indignance -"I wanted to see about getting you a little something… extra?”
Her paws raised from the keyboard and she leaned in, resting her snout on her palms. “Go on.”
The bubbly venlil's tail sold out her collected facade as it twitched with anticipation. She was cornered and she didn't even know it yet.
“Well, I found just the place on the other side of town where we can start. It's a place almost as rich and indulgent as yourself.”
“The Platinum Paw? I mean3”
Her ears folded back in embarrassment as she cracked. She wasn't cut out for acting anyway.
“So that's what it's called! Jeez, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was called. Now what do you say? We go over there and find you something nice—”
I hadn’t even finished my thought before Nampi had grabbed her bag and was out the door, giving me a playful tail flick that said come and get me.

The place I suggested was in a shopping center on the opposite side of town, though easily accessible because of its proximity to the transport rails. Nampi had insisted on grabbing something to eat beforehand and so now gleefully bit into a bundle of stalks that had been “grilled” as explained from the food truck we'd stopped at.
Her tail flicked back and forth with her usual enthusiasm as we entered the massive complex of stores. The roofless plan allowed the natural, orange sun to flood the upper levels while artificial lighting illuminated the ground level wherever the light couldn't reach.
The place was built in the last decade by the previous City Magister in a bid for popularity, though ultimately for naught as he would lose the vote following a scandal involving an iftali priestess and a carved bar of soap. I had to say that despite being sick in the head, he sure had a great sense of decor.
Nampi snacked away, joining me in admiring the scenery as we continued to the place I’d planned out for us. Aimless chatter all melded together into a single, thrumming murmur as pedestrians navigated the many levels and stores offered in the place.
A troupe of children passed by us, held in a chain of tails and arms as they were escorted by a pair of venlil who I assumed were students and teachers on a school trip. I caught a whiff of a sweet, aromatic breeze and found it to come from a perfume shop on the same level as us; naturally, venlil were not to be found inside.
We passed a fountain where a couple sat on the edge, their tails twined together as they giggled and flirted. I turned and caught Nampi watching them as well, though she awkwardly returned to sucking the remains of her meal from her claws when we made eye contact. Her ears lifted when I raised a wing to signal to the store we were going to stop at first.
“Platinum Paw, The Greatest Fashion Emporium For Everyone!”
The title alone was painfully cliche, taken to the tenth power by the brightly lit store taking up three department slots. Despite the flashy exterior, though, it was the best place to shop for belts, brooches, and bracelets alike. Customers who looked like they earned my yearly salary in a week browsed the higher end brands while I brought my friend to the section I wanted to show her.
Her ears were held up as we stood together next to a shelf chock full of fashionable bags and bandoliers of every variety.
“Pick one,” I told her.
Nampi's ears shot to a straight pose in surprise, “Any?”
“Within reason. I've got a few extra credits to blow and I know nobody better to spend it on.”
With an inviting headtilt, I let Nampi peruse the shelves at her leisure. Her lips pursed together and her tail flicked with glee as she fingered at every piece that caught her eye. I chuckled at her outburst of enthusiasm while turning to find my own items to gloss over.
A breeze from outside nipped at my beak while I considered what I’d like to purchase. The place dripped with an atmosphere of faux hospitality, from the bright blue-stained floorboards to the radio prattling off advertisements in a sickeningly sweet tone to the faint, fruity aroma of scented cleaner. It was oppressive as only a fissan-owned company could be to the senses.
What I wouldn’t pay to see how a human would fare in such an environment.
I knew they were social creatures at least, but I had no doubt that the predatory senses of a human, so honed to hunting, would get overstimulated in this center of gaudy indulgence. Knowing I was something of a predator myself made me sympathize provided that even I had to squint to keep the pale lights inside from searing my eyes. I could only imagine how the arboreal eyes of a Terran would fare. I was so lost in thought imagining how lost the Terrans would be that I could almost ignore the obnoxious giggling and metallic rattling coming from behind me.
Risking a peek at the source, into my sight came a pair of venlil, one a male carrying a pair of bags as well as a couple more strapped to his belt. The bored expression in his eyes was not one of a man who was in high spirits. The other venlil was a woman who was the source of the noise.
Her mottled gray pelt was accented by a tasteful belt design, free of almost any practical functions but not flashy or excessive in garnishment either. At least, that’s what I would say, were it not for the braid of beads that dangled on the belt, jingling with each bounce of the lively woman’s stride. It was clear that such a gaudy accessory was intended to draw attention to her, though why was a mystery. Certainly, the shiny braids seemed designed as decoration first and practical second.
She turned about and I faced back to my browsing before she could catch me staring. Nampi was nowhere in sight, though I figured she was somewhere behind the shelf, sifting through every accessory on the section I'd suggested.
Clink.
Something pelted to my immediate right. I tilted my head to spot a tree nut shell clattering to the floor. Without being able to guess where it came from, I had to wonder what could've launched it over this way. Even with my keen eyesight, nobody in the crowd seemed to be a suspect.
Clink.
Another shell pelted my vicinity, ricocheting off of the floor and hitting the shelf I was standing next to. I ruffled my feathers in frustration - clearly, someone was trying to get my attention, though I couldn't make out who it was. Out of the corner of my vision, the woman from before eyed me curiously as I looked about, though I wasn't interested in engaging with her.
Thwack.
One more shell came flying and, unfortunately, the aim on this one was true, nailing me on the beak. Irritated, I stormed out of the store to find the source of the instigator. I scanned over the bodies to find anyone who could've been responsible for this indignity, eventually concluding that it came from the dining area across the walkway.
Whoever was responsible was in for an earful and I was already structuring which of the offender's family members would be acceptable as fodder for stray words. As I approached, I found the tables were mostly empty save for one, which made my heart begin to drop as I met eyes with the only occupant. Suddenly, I was much less inclined to hurl insults.
“Oh, hi there!” Qitel called out in a sickly sweet tone. “Come, take a seat! We have much to discuss!”
The Exterminator clutched a bag of tree nuts in his claws, a pile of discarded shells already gathered on the table next to him. He grabbed another as I approached, effortlessly prying the shell in half between two claws and tossed the contents into his mouth. “Good protein, these,” he commented as I sat down.
“Must be for that good arm you've got there,” I mumbled. I caught sight of a couple of bags beneath his chair, seemingly from one of the tech stores contained within the center.
“Bah, it's guesswork. So how are you? I haven't heard from you since we worked together!”
“I was just spending time with a friend, shopping and enjoying my time off.”
“Your time off? Oh, am I interrupting something?”
His snide tone irked me, though now wasn’t the time for interjections. “You are, Qitel,” I replied with no shortage of vitriol in my tone. “But I see no harm in chatting for a bit.”
“Good, because I have some merchandise”- he reached into his belt pocket and deposited a couple of items onto the table -“and you’re just the person to look into it, human sympathizer.”
I drew a terse breath in shock, but my worries were quelled when I considered that if Qitel had the power to do anything about it, he would’ve done so instead of approaching me so discreetly. A glance down at the item on the table showed that he was presenting what looked to be a tracker as well as a personal drive. “Found in the garbage,” he told me.
“The guild resorts to dumpster diving when they already have such a bloated budget now?”
“No, featherbrain, I have decided to keep this for myself. These items were found together, sealed in a plastic pouch, and placed in a garbage bin. The city has bans against electronics being placed into public bins, and so I was curious why this wound up in there. Managed to get my coworker, a techie, to crack it open and…”
Qitel reached into his belt again, glowering at me with the same condescending gaze he’d given me when I first saw his face. He seemed to revel in digging for the item as slowly as possible to waste my time. Finally, he found whatever he was looking for and revealed it as a printed piece of paper, folded into eighths. The snobby yotul threw the unfurled paper on the table and rolled it toward me.
I craned my neck to look at the parchment, though I was immediately perplexed by the text on it; it appeared to be some sort of form, going by the boxes with words on the inside, followed by blank lines. “Found on the drive, here,” Qitel told me, jabbing a claw to the storage. “Translator shows it as Terran writing.”
Drawing my holopad from my satchel, I held it over the paper with the translator to get an understanding. Surely enough, the language on it came up positive as a variant of Terran writing and I was affirmed in it being a form of some sort based on the wording of the text. The boxes seemed like an odd sort of job application, asking for the typical name, contacts, and prior work experiences, but quickly took a strange turn as it began asking for where their home on Earth was prior to arrival, what family they had on Venlil Prime if any, and where they worked, implying that they were seeking individuals who were already employed.
I knew little about human employment methods, but I didn’t imagine that sourcing individuals from other jobs was the most efficient way to gain a workforce. Terran service industries already dotted the planet while many humans also found work in local environments. So what was the angle that the creator of this application was going for?
Most concerningly was that the paper had no insignia, identifying marks, or noted address to return the form to. “And where did you find it again?”
“In the garbage, alongside this intact tracker that was activated at the time of recovery. Y’know, when I was dumpster diving. Text on the document showed it was addressed to one ‘Choctaw Nexus’.”
“A pseudonym of some sort?”
“Clearly. Short sorting through the archives shows the first name traces back to the group out east - perhaps you've heard about them. How the name and the items we have here are connected is beyond my understanding, but-”
“Well, this has been an absolutely riveting discussion about your collection of trash, Qitel,” I told him as I stood up to leave. “But this really sounds like an issue to be resolved by your fellow guildsmen.”
The sound of another shell splitting rang out as I turned away.
“I'm not through talking with you, predator.”
The sting as a piece nailed me in the back of the head prompted me to whirl back around, sticking my beak in the insolent yotul's snout. “Perhaps you've forgotten, little man,” I cooed in an equally bittersweet tone to the one he gave me before. “The krakotl never had a problem with settling issues the old-fashioned way before the interview. Try me and find out why I'm in the line of work I am.”
“Oh, we wouldn't want that in such a"- he waved his paw to a group of passersby who had stopped to gawk at my display -”public forum. Please, contain yourself.”
I had to force the feathers on my back to settle and I raised my head away from him. “What else is it you wanted, then?”
“Well, I'd appreciate if you took this merchandise off my paws,” he told me as he brushed the electronics and printout toward me.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you're closer to the humans than I'd ever care to be, and may be able to find out who this Choctaw Nexus is. Something about the package just feels… off. And I know when to trust my feelings. Besides, we both know that you know where Tac is, don't we?”
“I don't-”
“We have videographic evidence that you conspired with a human - of the aforementioned squatters, no less - and let the kid escape. You're not as sneaky as you think, and if we find this ‘Choctaw Nexus’ turns out to be a bad actor that can be traced back to them - and by extension, you - well, there’d be no talking down my boss from having you dealt with. By helping me find out who this is, you may yet be able to clear your name of any wrongdoing.”
I clenched my beak tightly to maintain a straight face. Qitel stood up with a flourish and discarded the bag he was carrying in a bin.
“See, the krakotl were never special for using threats and bullying to get results. It's because you were good at killing predators,” he jeered. “Now, if you don't mind, this primitive has appointments to attend to… old lady who got trampled courtesy of the humans and all. You stay out of trouble, Hileen, and stay in touch.”
The self-assured marsupial melded into the crowd in a matter of seconds, leaving me with a table containing dumpster trophies and a pile of shells. Reluctantly, I swept the shells into my wing and dumped them into the bin before gathering the other two items he'd left me and stuffing them into my bag. I'd been gone from Nampi long enough and she would notice my absence before long.
Crossing the walkway again, I could spot from where I stood that Nampi was indeed still in the Platinum Paw. I approached, and soon I found that while she didn't seem to have noticed me stepping away, she was definitely in a soured mood based on the sagging of her ears and tail. With my talons clacking on the floorboards, I hustled to her side and her mood chippered up ever so slightly as she heard me approach.
I chimed in, “Find anything?”
“Everything. I want everything, Red, and I can't decide on what I want. They all just look so great!”
From behind, a voice called out, “Nampi!”
We both jumped at the exclamation and turned about to spot the venlil lady I'd seen before spring from behind the shelf. The man poked his head from behind the shelf too, though less enthusiastically and with yet another bag in his clutches. My friend's eyes widened in surprise with her tail and ears perking up in kind. With a light in her eyes, she exclaimed, “Nalek!”
The two embraced with shrill squeals and laughter as Nalek's accompaniment and I traded awkward glances.
“It's been too long!”
“You never stayed in contact!”
The women exchanged giddy greetings and the pompous stranger turned to me, leering over me as though she was sizing me up.
“Who's your friend here?”
“Oh she's actually my-...”
Nampi paused for a moment, looking back to me.
“Yeah, she's a friend.”
“A friend,” Nalek repeated while her eyes flicked between Nampi and I. “Right.”
Somehow, I get the impression that that was judgemental.
“I'm Hileen, by the way,” I chirped, “if names are to be exchanged.”
“Hileen, that's a lovely name! And such plumage to match, it's a wonder you aren't swarmed by suitors!”
Internally, I groaned at the notion. The idea of being approached by someone to state their interest in me made me queasy, to say the least. Thankfully, I never had that issue growing up as most of the other drakes in school were too busy chasing girls who didn't have a lousy pigmentation mutation such as myself.
“I'm flattered,” I told Nalek before turning to the man whose name had yet to be introduced. “May we get your name?”
“Sask.”
His response was succinct and tonally flat, though there was a brief silence as I expected him to elaborate. Nalek's beads jingled as she lashed him on the calf with her tail.
“I'm Sask, Nalek's fiancée,” he added, throwing her a look to see if she was satisfied.
Nampi gasped with her paws over her snout. “Fiancée! Nalek, you're getting married and you never even told me!”
“Well, I felt a little guilty since it technically broke our pact we made when we were pups. You remember that?”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I? ‘Let she who bonds through betrothal first be cast out unto the world for all to admonish her!’”
Sask and I both gave inquisitive expressions. “You two spoke like that as pups?” Sask asked.
“Well, I'm paraphrasing,” Nampi admitted with a playful ear waggle. “But you get the gist.”
“Indeed, they do, sweet Nampi. Now, may I ask what you're doing bringing your avian friend here into this store on this fine claw?”
“Oh, no no, she's the one treating me! Isn't that right, Red?”
I saw her tail twitch and was sure it took restraint not to tickle my neck with it as we stood before her old friend.
“She's been a good friend,” I explained. “So I wanted to reverse the roles for once and treat her to something myself.”
Nampi skipped over to me and wrapped her arm around me, glancing back to her old friend. “See? We'd all be so lucky to have a… friend like her.”
“So I've witnessed. But perhaps you're a bit stuck, as I've seen you prancing up and down these aisles for a while, no? Maybe you don't know what you want?”
“Nalek, you know I've never been good about making my mind up.”
“Some things never change, you ditz. Tell you what: you and Sask go find us a seat and we can catch up all we'd like when we're not taking up aisle space, yes? So shoo! I'll help Hileen here pick one out for you!”
With a bored grunt, Sask made off with the goods he had strapped to himself, followed by Nampi who gave me one more playful tail flick before dashing off into the crowd. I looked back to the mottled snout of Nalek who watched her friend wander off with a wistful glance.
“She was my first, you know.”
“Your what now.”
“Love. Way back when we were growing from pups into young adults back in private education, we explored much together. We saw each other through a lot, including the less savory parts of finding a mate. When Nampi realized it wasn't the boys she was into, she turned to me, and I offered my hand as her stalwart companion… to a point.”
“You weren't interested in her the same way?”
“I'd grown up seeing her as a sister of sorts, so ultimately, when we split it off, we stayed close as friends and she never seemed to be bothered by it. She struggled to find others in school who had the same interests as herself, but she never fussed about it.”
Nalek's claws browsed over a set of pouched bandoliers made with intricate embroidering. “Have you two… spent the night together? Alone?”
Spiritually, I reeled from the inquiry. The whiplash from that question was equitable to being smacked by a human. “Wha- why? How's that pertinent to the subject at hand?”
“That sounds like a ‘yes’ to me,” she purred with a smug glance my way.
I didn't need to begin to list the different ways such a question was violating to our privacy, and yet this woman was treating it like a game.
“Not really your concern, ma'am.”
Nalek chuckled as she picked out one of the bandoliers and inspected it with her claws. “I'd like to think that she and I still have that old connection, despite everything. And to that end, I know that she's no slag and doesn't trust easy. To see her be so vulnerable around you and to talk so highly of someone who's clearly below her income level as a predator…”
She stretched the bandolier out to appreciate the design in its entirety.
“Well, that's something special. Here"- she foisted the accessory into my wings as I stood gobsmacked -"this just screams her name.”
“This is, like, double my budget.”
“Love don't come cheap, darling. You wanna see good things happen, sometimes you've gotta step out of your comfort zone and grasp for it!”
“I'm being lectured by a rich woman on finances.”
“It's a philosophy that goes beyond money, ‘Red.’ The humans have a saying, in their horrendously predatory nomenclature, that contains a kernel of truth: ‘you miss every shot you don't take’.”
Yep, that's definitely a human phrase.
Nalek's steely braid rattled with every flick of the tail as we proceeded through the checkout.
“You want things to change between you and her?” she continued. “Don't just wait for it to happen.”
She let the conversation rest there as we finished the purchase, possibly to let me recuperate mentally from the damage done to my account. Outside, we found our respective partners sitting at a table with Sask looking up in boredom as Nampi chatted away, though she immediately shut up and turned to me with excited flicks of her tail as she saw what I was carrying.
I held it toward her and she happily shot to her feet, effortlessly removing the tags with her claws and clipping it to her belt. Nalek clapped and waggled her tail as the giddy lady did a whirl about to let us admire the accessory. While I'd have preferred one with pockets to give it a more practical use, I decided to let Nalek have the victory as our mutual friend clearly enjoyed it.
The rest of the paw was a blur as the two friends chatted without end until Sask eventually reminded his betrothed that they had a schedule to attend to. Though Nalek offered to call us a taxi home as a gesture of kindness, I saw through her ruse to determine that she was trying to pull a fast one on me - the clever ear flick she gave as we boarded the automated vehicle sold it for me.
We sat in the seats as the vehicle took the express ride home.
Nampi cleared her throat before she spoke, “Thank you for taking some time to spend with me, I know you've had a lot less free time as of late.”
“It's a prison of my own design, if I must be honest. A feedback loop of working a job that doesn't guarantee a paycheck to pay for rent that keeps going up, and thus needing to work more.”
The venlil giggled and chided me, “You really should've stayed in university.”
“There's a lotta 'should haves’ that've led me to this point. No use wondering what could have been.”
“There's always a use for wondering what could have been, Hileen.”
She wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
“Every decision I make, I always wonder what I could've done differently that it'd have turned out better,” she explained as she waved her free paw to the sky. “It's how you grow as a person, Red.”
Her silky pelt felt heavenly in contrast to the chilly air from outside, making it hard to let her words sink in.
“You rich types seem chock full of philosophy. I wonder if I'll become a brooding orator when I get some cash to my name.”
The cab filled with laughter as we veered around the final corner to my neighborhood, as it was the closest stop. The door popped open accompanied by a chime from the drone, signaling for me to depart.
But before my talons could even hit the pavement, I felt Nampi's scrawny arms wrap around my waist and she let out a pitiful mewl again.
“You don't need to get off here,” she told me with a pouty expression. “We can spend the rest of the paw at my place.”
“I'd love it, but I need to water my plants and get the month's bills sorted before they're due. Again.”
One claw at a time, I plucked her paws from around my waist and the childish venlil conceded, giving me another ear waggle as I departed. “I'll see you tomorrow?” I asked her.
“If you still have eyes by then, then you can bet your ass!”
“I still don't gamble.”
“You'll come around to it eventually.”
I shut the door to the taxi and watched as it carted away the one venlil who I ever truly felt on the same wavelength as. Fiddling with the lock felt like more of a chore than usual at this time as I felt a little voice tugging at the back of my head.
“You miss every shot you don't take.”
The lock felt jammed as I began to jiggle it more vigorously with the electric key. Either the RFID or NFC readers were messed up, as the lock refused to accept my key. I looked up and down the street, though Nampi was now long gone for me to rescind my earlier rejection.
“Every decision I make, I wonder what I could've done differently.”
The door rattled as I grew more and more infuriated with the lock. Qitel's smug expression as he threatened me so boldly in public played back in my head, and I wondered what would've happened had I decided to go through with insulting his mother. Better yet, I wondered what could've been had I not backed down in the face of his unflinching confidence.
Bzzt. The lock rejected my key again.
“Raagh! You fucking useless hunk of junk!”
I squawked in anger and kicked against the door, careless of the consequences of having Markol back down here to admonish another of his tenants for causing a ruckus. The walls were surprisingly sturdy for how ineffective the venlil architecture looked on the surface and I reeled back in pain as my leg throbbed.
Click.
I looked to my left to see that it wasn't my door that came open, but that of the twins. The door cracked open ever so slightly, no doubt nudged by the force of my tirade and I sighed. Nobody was expected to be home at this time, with Vili being away and Luka leaving early to get a head start.
Luka had been given a stern talking-to by the landlord for allowing one of those cats into his apartment through neglect, and I was disappointed that he seemed to have not learned his lesson this time. In fact, it seemed he hadn't even thought to lock the door this time.
I took it upon myself to shut the door for him before turning back to my own apartment door. Grasping the key with one talon, I turned it ever so gently, though the lock still refused to give in.
With a bit more force, the torsion applied to the key felt as though it should've snapped it by now. Markol sure didn't waste any expense for the security for this place, doubtlessly as a result of his history in electronic security, but I wished now that he had provided a way in that didn't rely on privately sourced locks.
Considering my options as I stood trapped outside, I realized that I had never gotten around to paying for a new lock for Tadi. I'd considered contacting her to inform her that Tac had made it out of town safely, but that'd involve also telling her that her son was now in the care of humans, as if that was a better outcome to her.
Stepping out front, I realized that there was one more option I hadn't considered: my window. I usually forgot to lock it after I was through letting air circulate and I was silently grateful to myself for this absentmindedness now more than ever. Sticking a foot on the threshold, I lifted myself in a way that'd allow me to have leverage to force the window open.
The window made me fight for every inch, but I felt a strange satisfaction as it slowly opened up into an entrance that I could squeeze my way through. I let out a sigh as my talons clicked against the cool floor and slid the window shut.
I laid my satchel on the couch and turned back to the door, ready to unleash my fury on the disobedient object. But as I reached for the lock to manually open the door, I noted that the lights on the RFID interface both flashed at once, blinking erratically. Red and green flickered without rhyme or reason, indicating that it was both active and inactive.
As pretty as the colors were, I now knew that Markol's locks were not as reliable as he had touted them about: typically, such would not occur unless the device was damaged deliberately, and yet nothing indicated that I'd had uninvited guests. One could pray that those cats didn't secretly know how to cobble together an ECM jammer, but my personal wager was on faulty equipment.
Settling in, I browsed my favorite soaps on the television. For what was intended to be a day of relaxation and show of affection for a friend, I found myself rather wound up over all the things that added up. Couples threw around flowery words and swooned over one another on screen as I felt the tension diffuse. My holopad rang and I turned it over to spot that Nampi was informing me that she'd arrived home safely.
>>> Feels empty here, all alone.
She made sure to drive the point home with a sticker of a venlil making a pouty expression.
Next time, I thought to myself, I'll get it right for you, Nampi.
[ First / Previous ]

Boys: Harold, Zee
Episode 13: Lies, Cries, and One Big Prize
"Previously, on Total Drama. Zee, Scarlett, and Harold created their own challenges!"
"Zee went with balancing, which bit big time for Scarlett and gave Harold the shock of his life."
"Harold's treetop race was more entertaining than a sawing monkey. Surprisingly, Scarlett won the challenge, and Harold fell from grace and the trees."
"So, it all came down to Scarlett's challenge: a trivia challenge about the former competitors. Zee didn't have too good a start, but quickly earned himself a spot in the finale."
"It all came down to a final question, and one that Scarlett ironically got wrong. Bye-bye!"
The montage ended with a flash, showing a close-up of Chris in front of a bare rock wall. "Down to two from three," he said, holding up three fingers but lowering one of them, "cause now we're Scarlett-free. But," he lowered another finger, "it'll still be neat to see who gets beat," he punched his open palm. "So! Grab a seat. There's one million bucks on the line," the shot cut to a robotic arm lifting up the open suitcase full of prize money against a radiant orange-and-gold background. "Iiiiiit's finale time!" Chris said as the shot cut back to him.
"On Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"
(Theme Song)
A deep note played as the episode opened on the bunker, the sky dark and the crickets chirping. A deep sigh issued forth from it, and the camera soon cut inside to show Harold tossing and turning in his bed. He got up and grabbed a pillow from the bed above him and closed his eyes with a smile, only to open them and sigh again.
Confessional: Harold
"It's no use," Harold sighed in the confessional. "I just can't get to sleep. I'm too anxious about tomorrow. I don't know if Zee is having the same trouble as I am..."
“It’d be cool if I win the last challenge. Just think about how much better my life would be. No more wedgies, wet willies, and toilet face plunges, my peers would respect me more as a million dollar winner, and I can invest the money in a way that’ll make me more than the show has to afford.”
Confessional Ends
The static cut away to show Harold turning his back to the camera with another sigh, then the shot cut to the inside of the barn to show Zee sleeping peacefully and snoring rather loudly.
Confessional: Zee
"This is a high stress situation, but I’m able to get some rest in order to ease it," Zee explained. "Even if it’s a million dollar competition against Harold."
Confessional Ends
An angelic sound played as the shot returned to a close-up of Harold, his eyes blinking blearily to sleep as the light of dawn streamed in through a window high on the wall above him.
Just as he and the music seemed to reach a peaceful rest, the wail of an airhorn pierced the walls and forced Harold back into wakefulness, his eyes snapping open wide and bloodshot. "Harold and Zee," Chris announced over the camp loudspeakers, the screen splitting in two with a shot of the good vibe guy blearily waking up sliding in on the left. "Meeting area, now!"
The scene flashed to Zee and Harold standing before Chris in the open meeting area. "Yes! Today, I fire one of you from a cannon," he greeted excitedly. "And then start my vacation."
"Plus you'll hand one of us a million dollars," Harold added with a grin.
"I haven't forgotten, dude," Chris said in annoyance. "I'm just focusing on the parts that bring me the most joy. Okay?"
"What's the challenge?" Zee asked. "Is it physical or have you decided on something else?"
Harold grinned. "Total Drama finales are always physical," he said. "And while I am classified as a brain, I'm afraid I have more fighting skills than you."
"Don't get too overconfident just yet," Zee warned. "I might surprise you."
"If I may continue?" Chris interrupted, his annoyed expression soon dropping. "Your final challenge is so demanding, the lawyers insisted each of you get a helper. Ehh," he shrugged, "it's not a horrible idea. I mean," the shot cut to the finalists as they watched him, "maybe they'll be able to help us find your bodies!" Zee and Harold shared a brief but wary look. "So, which of the past contestants would you like as a helper?" Chris asked, stepping over to them.
Confessional: Zee
"I'd prefer Julia," Zee told the outhouse camera. "She's really rad, and we work well together. But I wouldn't be too upset over having anybody else as a helper. Well, except for Scarlett."
Confessional: Harold
"It's no surprise that I'd prefer Leshawna over anyone else," Harold confessed. "She can handle her own battles and objectively speaking, she is the most physically attractive girl this season. I just wish that we were able to talk to each other before she left."
Confessionals End
"I choose Leshawna," Harold said with a smile as the static cut away and a triumphant tune played...for a few brief moments.
Chris chuckled. "'Choose'?" he repeated, laughing again. "Nooo, no no no no no no no...," he told the finalists.
"But you just asked us-," Zee pointed out in confusion.
"I know," Chris conceded, "I asked you who you wanted, I did that to be mean." He laughed again as the sound of squeaky wheels approached. "Your helpers-" the camera pulled back to show Chef pushing a large widescreen monitor up to the host on a cart- "will be selected thusly! When you press this button," he held up a remote control with a single red button on it, "the possible helpers will flash across the screen." A game show jingle played as the shot cut to the monitor, now showing the portraits of the eliminated contestants rolling down across the screen as if on a reel. "Whoever's face it stops on, is your helper."
The reel stopped on an image of Scarlett after drinking Juggy Chunks. "What happens if we land on someone we don't want?" Harold asked.
"You each get one chance to pass and spin again," Chris answered with a wide grin as the sound of a helicopter grew louder. "And just to make things even more interesting," he added, growing more and more giddy with each moment, "I've brought all the helpers out to watch!"
"RELEASE ME, YOU CRETIN! I DEMAND IT!" shouted a familiar voice.
Harold and Zee gasped as the music spiked, and the shot cut to the same dual-rotor military helicopter that Chris and Chef had taken shelter in during the island's malfunctioning as it flew in overhead.
Then the camera panned downward to show the twelve eliminated campers dangling under it tied up in ropes – Max on the far left, then Amy, Sammy, Duncan, Ella, B, Lightning, Scarlett, Julia, DJ, Leshawna, and finally Jo on the far right.
"What's the big idea, McLean?!" Jo shouted hatefully, the shot cutting in close to her and Leshawna.
"Yeah," Leshawna chimed in, "why do I gotta be hanging next to her!" The two girls locked eyes and glared.
"I don't think that's the issue here..." DJ said, the camera panning onto him.
"I personally don't mind being tied up like this," Julia said in a positive tone, the camera pulling back to show her smiling. "I'm just happy to see my boyfriend in the finale."
"I didn't even want to show up, but I would appreciate it if I was actually seated," Scarlett said in a grumpy tone.
"Sha-yeah!" Lightning agreed as the camera panned onto him. "Chris, these ropes might cause Lightning some bruising. Can we get them loosened a bit?"
Scarlett gave Lightning an incredulous look. "You do realize that if the ropes are loosened, you'll fall?"
"Lightning will just get back up again," Lightning told her obliviously.
The camera cut back to B. It lingered on him for a few moments as he awkwardly looked from side to side, then directly at the camera as he smiled coolly.
"Despite this drastic situation we're in," Ella sang after the song panned to her, "I still want either Zee or Harold to win~!"
Another pan to the left showed Duncan watching her. "My money's on Harold," he said, shrugging.
“And how come?” Ella asked.
"Zee's cool and all, but I just know the dork better," Duncan answered.
"Really?" Geoff asked, raising a eyebrow in disbelief. "Are the shows in Jersey really that terrible to watch?"
"They are if ya don't have tickets!" Anne Maria answered happily.
Yet another pan put the focus on Amy and Sammy. "Are you still not going to apologize for how you've treated me ever since we were little?" Sammy asked.
"And why should I?" Amy replied in slight irritation.
"Because I put you in your place and pointed out your own flaws," Sammy explained. “The least you can do is be humble a bit.”
"You may have gotten further than me, but you still didn’t win the season," Amy bragged. “You're a bowl of mush, and I'm a parfait, which is French for perfect.”
“So what's French for bossy blonde cow?” Sammy taunted with a smirk. “I know! Vache blonde autoritaire!”
"You are so going to get it," Amy growled.
The camera pulled back to show Max clenching his eyes shut in pain. "Would you two identical ladies cease that annoying racket?!" he finally yelled with another force to startle Amy and Sammy into looking at him. "Thank y-" he began to say plainly before Amy smacked him in the head. "Hey!" he said, cringing at the hit.
"Okay," Chris said, the music turning slow and plodding as the camera cut back to him, Zee and Harold. "Now that the Peanut Gallery has had a chance to reintroduce themselves, let's move on."
"Whoa, hold on a minute," Zee held up a hand to interrupt. "Why? How? When?"
"Uh, you're gonna have to be a little more specific there," Chris told him, raising an eyebrow.
"He means why are they all tied up?" Harold translated.
Chris let out a long, irritated sigh. "Fine," he said. "I'm keeping them tied up and in plain sight so we don't have them float towards the sun, okay?"
"No," Harold said bluntly.
"Not really," Zee replied.
"Whatever," Chris told them, his brow creased in annoyance. His expression then changed into a smile. "Who goes first will be decided by a coin toss," he explained, taking out a coin and flipping it towards the campers.
It hit Zee in the eye. He yelped in pain, rubbing where he'd been hit.
"Zee wins!" Chris happily announced. "Let's see who you get," he said as the game show jingled played again.
The shot cut to a close-up of the monitor as the portraits began to scroll past, Zee uttering a series of grunts as she watched off-screen – some hopeful, some annoyed. "Okay, stop," he said after a few seconds, the camera moving to him as he pressed the button on his remote.
The simulated reel stopped on Jo. "Not who I wanted at all," Zee said in disappointment as a triumphant jingle played, "but I got what I got and I'm not gonna throw a fit."
"Harold," Chris said, the camera moving back to the finalists as the dweeb pursed his lips, "you're up."
The game show jingle played, and the portraits started flashing across the monitor again – until they stopped on Scarlett. "No..." Harold groaned.
Confessional: Harold
"I knew the odds of getting Leshawna were slim," Harold confessed. "But I want a helper who would actually assist me."
Confessional Ends
An odd note played as the shot cut back to Zee, Harold, and Chris, the latter two sharing a look. "I'd like to spin again," Harold said.
"Have at it," Chris replied, the shot briefly cutting to the pictures flashing across the monitor again.
Harold pressed the button, and sagged in defeat – and the camera cut to the monitor to show that it had landed on Scarlett again. The camera moved in front of Chris as he gave her a mischievous look. "Scarlett again?" he asked in fake shock. "What are the odds?"
The camera pulled back as Chris turned to the right and nodded at Chef, who returned the gesture and walked away. "Okay, looks like Zee gets Jo and Harold gets Scarlett," Chris said, nodding toward the helicopter. The ropes tied around the two chosen helpers abruptly came loose, causing both to fall, but while Scarlett landed in an awkward flop, Jo simply tucked her legs in and rolled as a light but triumphant tune played.
She got back onto her feet just as Zee walked up to her. "Hey Jo. I know we haven't gotten along-" Zee said.
"-but since we're partners, we're gonna have to try and tolerate each other," Jo replied. "Yeah, I know."
Confessional: Jo
"I'm not in the game any more, which still sucks," Jo explained. "But Chill Pill managed to subvert my expectations. He lasted longer than I thought he would have. And if I have to work with him, then so be it."
Confessional Ends
The camera panned to the right as Scarlett snorted and stood up. "I strongly refuse to partake in this," she said, the shot cutting in close as she brushed the dirt off her shirt then turned around.
She took a step, and walked right into Chef, who snickered and locked a thick metal collar around the quiet brainiac's neck.
"Let me guess. You're going to shock me if I don't play along, right?" Scarlett asked in annoyance as she tugged at the collar.
"You'd think that," Chris said with a mischievous smile, "but this is actually something different. In case you somehow ended up as one of the helpers, I had a special collar made that'll tranquilize you if you don't play along," he finished with a smug look.
Scarlett groaned in annoyance. "Fine."
"Hey, as long as you don't just bail, I'm cool," Chris told him.
"I'm not," Harold interrupted with an angry look.
Confessional: Scarlett
"Unless I want a voltage surprise like the ones I received in episode four," Scarlett told the confessional camera with disgust, idly tugging at the collar around her neck, "I'll help Harold with his goal of winning the one million dollars. That doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."
Confessional: Chris
"Am I full of good ideas or what?" Chris chuckled in the outhouse camera.
Confessionals End
"So," Chris said, the static cutting away to show him walking towards the two pairs. "Reunion's over? Good! It's time for your final challenge. I have endearingly titled it, 'The Double Duo of Deadly Dying Death'!" A dramatic spike in the music, reverberated voice, and zoomed-in and angled shot all combined to make the revealing of the title particularly dramatic.
"That sounds dangerous...," Zee said worryingly.
"It's supposed to be dangerous, Dodo Brain," Jo groaned.
Confessional: Zee
"Now I'm wishing I did use my second chance like Harold did," Zee confessed.
Confessional Ends
"Now since Blaineley snuck back onto the island and changed it completely by wreaking havoc in the secret underground control room..." Chris began to explain.
"Umm, hold on," came the voice of Julia, the camera panning back up to the still-loitering helicopter. "What did you just say?" she asked in confusion.
"Wait, you didn't know that?" Duncan asked. "I knew I was forgetting something."
"Host!" Max interrupted, drawing the focus to the other end of the line. "I demand you explain this!"
"No," Chris replied in a deadpan tone. "As I was saying," he continued, putting his bland smile back on as the background music became deep and tense, "we've yet to explore all the wonderful and bizarre new dangers the island's new landscape has to offer. Until now. Harold and Zee," the shot cut back to the two pairs, "with assistance from your helpers-" Zee and Jo shared a frown while Harold and Scarlett shared a glare - "you will race across the island. First one to cross the finish line will receive," Chris turned to the side and grabbed the prized suitcase from Chef, the music building up grandly as he opened it to reveal its glowing contents, "One! Millions! Dol-lars!"
All four teens started cheering.
"All you have to do is survive a 2000-foot plummet from an ice cliff," Chris joyously explained, the camera cutting to the slender peak of a snowy mountain before quick-panning away, "successfully learn to breathe while submerged in mud," the camera panned across a bubbling lake of mud before quick-panning away again, "and then sprint two miles across a wide-open field where," the shot now panned across a seemingly ordinary and empty field, "I'm absolutely sure no harm will come to you."
The shot cut back to the cast as Chris began to laugh raucously for an extended period of time. "The point I'm making," Chris said once he'd finally finished, "is that there's a decent chance you may not survive this."
Both finalists and helpers groaned warily. Then they were each tossed an orange helmet.
"For the first part of the challenge," Chris explained, "the lawyers insisted you wear helmets to protect your brains." The shot cut to him and Chef. "I mean who knows. Someday, you may start using them." The roar of the nearby helicopter suddenly increased, the added wind whipping up a cloud of dust around the men. "When you get to the top of the mountain, it'd be a good idea to build a bobsled," Chris instructed, "or, it'll be a very rough ride down!"
The show's smaller red helicopter was shown flying over, the larger military one flying away with the rest of the former campers still attached. "Grab a rope!" Chris said, the camera panning down the four ropes hanging from the helicopter to show them dangling just above the finalists and helpers. "Your challenge begins...NOW!"
The four grabbed the ropes in front of them, and to a sudden bit of challenge music and a blast of the host's airhorn, the helicopter flew off dragging the startled teens along with it.
"Good luck! Stay safe!" Chris called out after them. "Are things I'd say, if I cared!"
The footage flashed ahead to the top of the snowy peak, several boxes and barrels of various junk – including what looked like several sets of skis – already waiting at the top. The small helicopter arrived momentarily, and the shot cut to its four passengers landing in the show – Jo and Zee on the left, Scarlett and Harold on the right.
"We're supposed to build a bobsled out of this junk?" Jo asked in disbelief.
"No," Zee corrected as he grabbed a pair of skis, "Chris just said it would be a good idea." He tossed the skis onto the ground and stepped on them, a tense challenge tune playing in the background. "I have a different one, so hop on."
The shot cut to a close-up of Jo grinning, then to her jumping onto the skis behind Zee. "Let's do this!" she said as they began to slide forward down the slope and left the scene.
The camera panned onto Scarlett, holding a pair of skis of her own. "We should get moving!"
"What's to stop me from believing that you won't shove me off the skis?" Harold asked, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.
"I have this wretched collar on. Shoving you is the last thing I want to do. Now get on!" Scarlett told him angrily.
"Fine," Harold said, rolling his eyes and walking over to where Scarlett was already waiting on the skis and got ahead of her. The challenge music rose up again as they leaned forward, and started to slide.
The shot cut to Zee and Jo looking back over their shoulders with grins on their faces. They promptly skied through a tall mogul, slowing them down a little and covering Zee's eyes in snow. "I can't see!" he shouted, clawing at the packed snow as they began to swerve.
"Quick, to the left!" Jo shouted, one hand around Zee's waist and one point ahead of them as they swerved away from the camera around another mound of snow. "Now right!" Jo directed, the two swerving back towards the foreground. "Left!" She shouted, but they just sped through another mogul earning a scream from the jock-ette.
Confessional: Jo
Jo was blue from the cold and shivering heavily.
Confessional Ends
"Well isn't that the best thing that's happened today!" Scarlett taunted as the scene cut back to her and Harold.
"Yeah, well, we're gonna be next if we don't keep dodging these things," Harold pointed out as they began to swerve around the moguls as well. "And I want to try and get ahead of them while we can."
The music ramped up dangerously as the dweeb and brainiac slid towards another mogul. "Left!" Harold shouted.
"No, right!" Scarlett replied, the two leaning to the opposite direction, swerving nowhere, and plowing right through the mound. "Aagh!"
"Scarlett!" Harold growled as they started swerving wildly, snow covering both their eyes. They clipped the side of another mogul, sending themselves into a screaming spin, hit a third mogul, and came out tumbling end over end.
The shot cut to the bottom of the slope, the music leveling off as what looked like a mogul on skis slid down. The camera zoomed in as two patches of snow fell away to reveal Zee and Jo inside, the two moaning and blue in the face. "Zee, we need to move," Jo weakly told her partner, "before-"
A massive snowball suddenly ran them over, breaking the snow but leaving the good vibe guy and jock-ette lying in a puddle of melting snow. A crash was heard off-screen, but the camera lingered in place as Jo groaned and stood up. "Let's go," Jo told her partner. "You're still in this..."
"...yeah," Zee said as he caught his breath. "Yeah!" he said, more energetically this time. "I've got this!" he declared before charging forward, the shot cutting to Jo as she smirked softly then raced after her partner.
The camera followed them along for a few seconds until they reached a heap of snow, skis, and dazed-looking teens, which the shot immediately focused on. "What happened?" Harold shot at his partner, the dweeb lying upside-down half-trapped in the snow. "I told you to go left!"
"And I told you to go right!" Scarlett countered, her head sticking out the right way up but her legs sticking out over it.
"Yes, but I'm the one in charge!" Harold replied. "You're supposed to be helping me!"
"I was steering!" Scarlett said before the snow holding her up crumbled away, causing her to fall over with a startled gasp.
Harold sighed in aggravation before a small pile of melting snow collapsed onto his face.
The scene cut away to show Chris and Chef sitting in lawn chairs eating popcorn as they watched the challenge feed, the host promptly pausing it with a beep and looking at the camera. "This finale's out of control!" he said excitedly as the capstone theme began to play. "Zee and Jo got run over! Harold and Scarlett can't stop arguing! And all of them just plowed through like a ton of snow!"
"Stay tuned, "he continued, the shot moving away but the host quickly popping back up in front of it. "Someone is leaving here a millionaire. It's the finale of Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"
(Commercial Break)

What if I made Love & Theft an 1 Hour Animation. Here are the characters in this animation (including the ones in the blue part)

1. Dumbo.
   1. Eek the Cat.
   2. Magilla Gorilla.
   3. Bandolero.
   4. Fanboy from Fanboy & Chum Chum.
   5. Cueio.
   6. A Rabbid.
   7. Butthead.
   8. Batman.
   9. Pinkie Pie.
   10. Winnie the Pooh.
   11. Optimus Prime.
   12. Hello Kitty.
   13. The Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared trio.
   14. Charlie Brown.
   15. Tigger.
   16. Roger Rabbit.
   17. Superman.
   18. Beavis.
   19. Mordecai and Rigby.
   20. Clarence.
   21. Saint Seiya.
   22. Lippy the Lion and Hardy Har Har.
   23. Presto the Magician.
   24. Mabel Pines and Waddles.
   25. He-Man.
   26. Darkwing Duck.
   27. Mighty Mouse.
   28. Elroy Jetson.
   29. Patty Rabbit.
   30. David the Gnome.
   31. Do-Your-Best Bear.
   32. Vicky the Viking.
   33. Naruto.
   34. Wil E. Coyote.
   35. Chuckie Finster.
   36. Road Runner.
   37. Delfy.
   38. Lincoln Loud.
   39. Bernard Bear.
   40. Donatello.
   41. Dr. Zitbag.
   42. Dartacan.
   43. Finn and Jake.
   44. No Face.
   45. Totoro.
   46. Thomas the Tank Engine.
   47. Hank Hill.
   48. Tommy Pickles.
   49. Reptar.
   50. Blooter from Poppets Town.
   51. Mike Wazowski.
   52. Shrek.
   53. Lightning McQueen.
   54. Woody and Buzz Lightyear.
   55. Elliott the Dragon.
   56. Gumball Watterson.
   57. Darwin Watterson.
   58. Anais Watterson.
   59. The Cat in the Hat.
   60. Po Ping.
   61. The Penguins of Madagascar.
   62. Pingu.
   63. Noisy from Little Robots.
   64. Scrooge McDuck (reboot version only).
   65. Snap from ChalkZone.
   66. Blue from Rainbow Friends (Cartoon Games version only).
   67. Pike from Pike’s Lagoon.
   68. Sammy from Loose Ends.
   69. Mugman.
   70. Flower from Plancy’s World.
   71. Mametchi.
   72. Lucho.
   73. Moth from Patchwork Pals.
   74. Bellybutton.
   75. Matthew Littlemore.
   76. Peppino.
   77. Matías.
   78. Moomin.
   79. Mafalda.
   80. Asterix.
   81. Wallace & Gromit.
   82. Alfred E. Neuman.
   83. Bakabon’s Papa.
   84. Carly (Bitty Big Heads version only).
   85. Oggy.
   86. Frumplequest.
   87. Kevin from Up.
   88. Doggy D. Dachshund.
   89. Danger Mouse.
   90. Crispo and Albert.
   91. The Creepy World Island versions of Jeff the Killer, SlenderMan and Smile Dog.
   92. Fritz the Cat.
   93. Beetlejuice (animated version only).
   94. Ronald McDonald (animated version only).
   95. Gombby.
   96. Doogal and Florence (CGI versions only).
   97. Tadeo Jones.
   98. Tom from Tom and the Slice of Bread with Strawberry Jam and Hunny.
   99. Dinky Little.
   100. Mickey Mouse.
   101. Arthur Read.
   102. Woody Woodpecker.
   103. Pomni and Caine.
   104. Jimmy Neutron.
   105. The Giraffe from Guillermo Mordillo.
   106. Popeye.
   107. Robin (TTG version only).
   108. Steven Universe.
   109. Dick Dastardly.
   110. Muttley.
   111. Fred Flintstone.
   112. Snoopy.
   113. Tintin.
   114. Ladybug.
   115. Lucky Luke.
   116. Mr. Magoo.
   117. Dash Kappei.
   118. Pikachu.
   119. Goku.
   120. Alfred J. Kwak.
   121. Doraemon.
   122. Underdog.
   123. Bob and Larry.
   124. Leafy.
   125. GIR (in his dog suit).
   126. Wally Gator.
   127. Roger Smith.
   128. Marco.
   129. Pak from The Fruitties.
   130. Maya the Bee.
   131. Lion-O.
   132. Top Cat.
   133. Yogi Bear.
   134. Spinelli.
   135. Goliath from Gargoyles.
   136. Salad Fingers.
   137. Baby Huey.
   138. Tom & Jerry.
   139. The Powerpuff Girls.
   140. Garfield.
   141. Courage the Cowardly Dog.
   142. Sylvester Pussycat.
   143. Ralph Wiggums.
   144. Stitch.
   145. Dora and Boots.
   146. Heidi and Pedro.
   147. Pumuki.
   148. Tutu.
   149. Bluey.
   150. Peppa Pig.
   151. Kim Possible.
   152. Zuma from Paw Patrol.
   153. Cleo (30’s version only).
   154. Freakazoid.
   155. A Smurf.
   156. Bender.
   157. Inspector Gadget.
   158. Obelix.
   159. The Warner Siblings.
   160. Kaeloo.
   161. Allstar and Casey.
   162. Willy Fog.
   163. Bugs Bunny.
   164. Ranma.
   165. Donald Duck.
   166. Charizard.
   167. Dudley Do-Right.
   168. Dexter.
   169. Shin-chan and Shiro.
   170. Tarepanda.
   171. Rilakkuma.
   172. Snagglepuss.
   173. Pink Panther.
   174. Goofy.
   175. Homer Simpson.
   176. Clemente.
   177. Baby Lamb and Belle Butterfly.
   178. Ren & Stimpy.
   179. Chuck (Angry Birds Toons version only).
   180. Mario.
   181. Pato from Pocoyo.
   182. Daria.
   183. Greg Heffley.
   184. Tweety Bird.
   185. Sonic the Hedgehog.
   186. Karl Ojisan.
   187. Spider-Man.
   188. Dusty Crophopper.
   189. Perry the Platypus/Agent P.
   190. PaRappa the Rapper.
   191. Captain Underpants.
   192. Anpanman.
   193. Peter Pan.
   194. Lum Invader.
   195. Sailor Moon.
   196. Star Butterfly.
   197. Scooby-Doo.
   198. Cow & Chicken.
   199. Marsupilami.
   200. SpongeBob SquarePants.
   201. Bakii.
   202. Bob the Builder and Scoop.
   203. Simba.
   204. Cuddles.
   205. A Minion.
   206. Atom Ant.
   207. Casper the Friendly Ghost.
   208. Yo Yo Flamingo.
   209. Taichi Yagami.
   210. Johnny and Plank.
   211. Stacy Stickler.
   212. Nemo.
   213. Orange and Green from Rainbow Friends (Cartoon Games versions only).
   214. DogDay.
   215. Calvin and Hobbes.
   216. Tow Mater.
   217. Captain King.
   218. Voltron.
   219. Mazinger Z.
   220. Sheep.
   221. Weegee and Impaeegee (on his baby carriage).
   222. Blue and Pink from Dick Figures.
   223. Lisa Simpson.
   224. The Three Twins.
   225. Oliver Atton.
   226. Mr. Bean (animated version only).
   227. Dr. Zoidberg.
   228. Johnny Bravo.
   229. The Spies from Spy Vs. Spy.
   230. Luxo Jr., André, Tin Toy, and Knick Knack.
   231. Eric Cartman.
   232. Kyle Broflovski.
   233. Stan Marsh.
   234. Kenny McCormick.
   235. Heathcliff.
   236. Gaturro.
   237. Speedy Gonzales.
   238. Kogepan.
   239. Incibot.
   240. Flapjack.
   241. Pinky and the Brain.
   242. Barrancas and Trancas.
   243. Nibbler.
   244. Chilly Willy.
   245. Bloo.
   246. Huckleberry Hound.
   247. Hokey Wolf.
   248. Nigel Uno/Numbuh 1.
   249. Roary the Racing Car.
   250. The zebra from Animanimals.
   251. Quick Draw McGraw.
   252. Ben Tennyson (Ben 10: Alien Force version only).
   253. Tony from Bondi Band.
   254. Pocoyo.
   255. Rocky and Bullwinkle.
   256. Rescue Rangers.
   257. Felix the Cat.
   258. Norakuro.
   259. Paolo the Cat, Mavis the Pony and The Small Green Thing.
   260. Naranjito, Imarchi, Clementina, and Citronio.
   261. Betty Boop.
   262. Peter Griffin.
   263. Rocko.
   264. Poochee and Pansy.
   265. Daffy Duck.
   266. Botillo.
   267. Elmo.
   268. A from Alphabet Lore.
   269. B from Alphabet Lore.
   270. C from Alphabet Lore.
   271. D from Alphabet Lore.
   272. E from Alphabet Lore.
   273. F from Alphabet Lore.
   274. G from Alphabet Lore.
   275. H from Alphabet Lore.
   276. I from Alphabet Lore.
   277. J from Alphabet Lore.
   278. K from Alphabet Lore.
   279. L from Alphabet Lore.
   280. M from Alphabet Lore.
   281. N from Alphabet Lore.
   282. O from Alphabet Lore.
   283. P from Alphabet Lore.
   284. Q from Alphabet Lore.
   285. R from Alphabet Lore.
   286. S from Alphabet Lore.
   287. T from Alphabet Lore.
   288. U from Alphabet Lore.
   289. V from Alphabet Lore.
   290. W from Alphabet Lore.
   291. X from Alphabet Lore.
   292. Y from Alphabet Lore.
   293. Z from Alphabet Lore.
   294. 1 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore.
   295. 2 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore.
   296. 3 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore.
   297. 4 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore. (Unreleased)
   298. Spotty Leonard
   299. Eggy from CRITORA
   300. Handy (appears again in the screaming Andreas mouse-looking character part but with handy and has the face of his “screaming face” from Don’t Yank My Chain.)
   301. Giggles
   302. Lumpy
   303. The Mole
   304. The Cat that got ran over by Mole’s Car (it appears in the “really heavy metal part” with his fangs being sharper and his bigger eye pupils replaced with bloodshot eyes.)
   305. Flumpty Bumpty
   306. BBB
   307. Grunkfuss
   308. McGruff Dog
   309. Unnamed Drug Dealer from Drawings in NCPC (appears again in the heavy metal part with evil smile)
   310. Gingerbread/Giant Teddy Bear (appears first as normal then in the really heavy metal part it uses his true form face.
   311. FroseHomeless
   312. Pouli/Tom Pelican
   313. Ratte/Ricky
   314. Spugna/Cheesehead (Appears normal at first then at the really heavy metal part it has the face of its true form and appears in the mashed up characters part as well.)
   315. Pibby
   316. BunBun
   317. Buggy
   318. Mailman Moe
   319. Croc
   320. Firey
   321. Bubble
   322. Four
   323. X from BFB
   324. The Domestos Germs
   325. MAD Characters (including the fanmade ones from fanmade parodies such as world war edd.)
   326. Zoonomaly Monsters
   327. Caught On Camera Monsters
   328. The Girl from Hello by Muffin Songs
   329. The Orange & Lemon Mascots from A Love Story by Chipotle
   330. Marylin B Worm
   331. VAL
   332. Sincomics Green Square
   333. Crown
   334. Bandaid
   335. Fish from DCTF
   336. Rage Comic Faces
   337. Heavy from Team Fortress
   338. Sans
   339. Dead Memes
   340. Frisk
   341. Undertale Bosses
   342. Red (Angry Birds)
   343. Godzilla
   344. Ghidorah
   345. Minecraft Mobs
   346. BOES
   347. Backrooms Entities
   348. B-Day
   349. GOB Mascots AND MORE!

Hi everyone. I just really needed to vent and hopefully hear from people that might relate. I'm a 21F in Electrical Engineering. I just finished my fourth year of college, and I have a year left of my program since I switched from Computer Science.
I'm not going to lie. I find Electrical Engineering to be highly dissatisfying. I also found Computer Science to be the same way, although I do like EE more than CS.
For context, I'm Indian. My whole life, up until the last year of high school, I wanted to be a doctor. It was only that last year where I started thinking if that was really what I wanted to be. I wanted to do game development, and I figured since I respect innovation CS would be a better fit for me, and I had taken some CS classes in HS and volunteered at a hospital which wasn't always fun. When I first told my parents of this switch, they freaked the fuck out. They thought I'd get no job. They literally started an intervention to get me to pursue medicine instead, it was a whole ordeal. I felt like absolute shit about myself. They eventually accepted it, but it definitely wasn't something they were impressed about, at least I don't think. They never said they were proud of me and didn't brag about me, even though that's something they would do even when I didn't want them to talk about me.
I always did above and beyond and they wouldn't be impressed. And then when they would be impressed, the trauma I got from them was so bad that I still hated myself. For example, in HS, I got salutatorian but I HATED it. My parents, in the other hand, were very proud. They bragged about it to the people they knew, even when I asked them to stop. I didn't want people to know, I didn't want to be celebrated, because that was a failure in my eyes and still is.
When I switched to EE, the same shit happened. They thought I was going to be a failure and there'd be no jobs. They could not (or didn't try to) understand why I couldn't give them an answer for what the salary is. I'd just say it depends on the industry, role, and other things. They didn't understand there wasn't a textbook answer like if I had become a doctor for how much I'd make, if I knew what type of doctor I wanted to be.
They eventually settled down with the bullshit drama, but I doubt them so much now. My mom says she's proud of me, but it doesn't matter what she says, I just think she's lying. She says she's proud, but then says the most hurtful things to my face about my major implicitly. And she stopped doing that honestly. But she will always do it again. Recently, I was talking about how I was so stressed because I was behind in this intensive coding program I signed up for because I was having midterms and finals for five classes this past month and I had so many deadlines for my research at the same time, while preparing for a conference. She knew all of this, then proceeded to say, "You should leave your switch home the next time you go to college, it only distracts you." Are you fucking kidding? I haven't played my switch in months, I barely get to do any of my hobbies. When I told her that, she said she only mentioned it because from seeing what I did back at home (I go to college in another city), she thought it was just distracting me.
I can't even describe how badly this hurt me, she turned herself into the victim when I tried to explain why it was hurtful, so I just gave up and hung up. She clearly thinks EE is a walk in the park, because she gave such useless simple advice that would seemingly solve all my problems. Additionally, my parents just don't recognize how hard I work, and it kills me. Of course she noticed me gaming over break, But what about the countless hours I grinded doing my research, sobbing because I was stressed about finishing enough over winter break? She KNEW how stressed I was, but ofc now she only remembers me "being distracted by gaming" but doesn't remember shit about how hard I worked. Oh, and I also mostly gamed because I had a surgery and was in so much pain, which I remember her telling me to get to work constantly while I was recovering too.
Before this semester, almost every semester beforehand I've worked at LEAST two jobs. It was only during the last semester that I quit my internship because it was so overwhelming to do that while I had to balance school and research. I wish I never quit. I had such poor grades then, but honestly my grades have only gotten worse even though I genuinely study so hard and try my best. Nothing has improved. If my parents knew my grades, they'd be horrified. My friends used to tell me how much I impress them, and that I'm taking on so much. They don't seem impressed anymore now that I don't have multiple jobs. Struggling is only okay when there is a reason. It's not acceptable for me to be struggling to pass with so much effort and just research as my other commitment. Because that's just one job. People used to say, "wow that's so much work!" now, when people ask me why I'm stressed and what I have going on other than school and I say research, no one comments the way they used to.
Now, I'm a C/D student, struggling to pass my classes. The way that EE is set up my university, if you fail a class you'll be set back for a whole year. Because all of the core classes are offered once a year, but they're prerequisites for classes you're meant to take the next semester, so if you don't pass them you have to wait a year before you can progress your requirements. But it's not impressive to just pass. I used to think working hard can get you where you want to be, but I disagree now. The amount of effort I put in is not proportional to the results. I get barely passing grades.
The future just seems so bleak. I want to pursue a masters after graduating, but I probably won't even be able to do that because my GPA doesn't meet the admission requirements and my GPA does nothing but drop every semester. I talked to an advisor at my school, and he said that my University won't even look at your application if you don't meet their GPA requirements. Which is devastating because I've done research since my freshman year. But instead of looking at someone that genuinely wants to pursue graduate school that is shown by their research experience, they'll accept someone who chose to do graduate school last minute and has no research experience because they meet the GPA requirement. I feel so lied to, GPA absolutely matters more than experience, from what I've noticed. It's just that if you only have the GPA without the experience, that's not enough.
My parents don't brag about me anymore, they say it's because it's not good to brag, which I agree, but they wouldn't stop even when I asked them to before. They only stopped bragging once I decided not to become a doctor.
Looking back, I regret not pursuing medicine. It's the worst regret of my life. I know that I would excel had I chosen a pre-med major like biology, because I always did well in those subjects. What I struggled with a lot was problem-solving like in Engineering and math. I chose something that does not come easily to me. But if I had, I would have easily gotten more respect and kindness from everyone around me. I no longer feel like working as an engineer would be meaningful, because it's not like I'm dedicating my life to saving others. Honestly, I could have become a doctor if my parents didn't place so much emphasis on it my whole life, I kind of had a crisis in HS, because I was worried that I only wanted to do medicine because I was brainwashed. Also, ever since I decided to do engineering my parents have placed so much pressure on my sister to do medicine which they never had before, because I was going to do it. Now my sister is getting ready to pursue medicine, and I just feel insanely envious. I'm going to be a failure next to her, who will be doctor. And engineers are just okay by Indian standards. Even if people in the Indian community ask me what I'm doing, they seem unimpressed when I mention that I'm majoring in EE, and assume I'm just going to become an electrician which is super insulting considering the education differences, or they say, "not a doctor"?
Please be kind, I'm really rejection sensitive, I can't handle reading passive aggressive comments, I just really want to feel supported right now. Please don't say becoming a doctor would be hard too, Im talking about pre-med majors being easier, And I've always done good at pursuing activities outside of college, so I wouldn't have struggled with that either. I know a pre-med major would've been easier for me and I would've garnered more respect.

Previous post https://www.reddit.com/Paranormal/comments/1cqkj2m/the_worst_week_of_my_life/
Well, I didn't think I'd be here again but I was wrong.
My son recovered from his ICU stay and had his birthday. I got him a desk and chair for his bedroom because he wants to make an xbox gaming set up.
He had a follow up appointment to check on the previous surgery site. Unfortunately they had to place more bands and coils in his esophagus. Many more than he's had before. When he got home he was in a lot of pain. More than over-the-counter medications could control. I did my best to comfort him while he laid in bed. Suddenly we hear a loud click and the light up planet light on his new desk (also a birthday present) turned on by itself. My son thought maybe the electricity was weird but I laughed and said it's probably his great grandma messing with him.
Truthfully, all of us will be needing continued help from the other side. The proposed solution to my son's medical issues is an organ transplant. Through the entire doctor visit my son held it together. He was also placed on flight restriction so he can't go on our long awaited trip to Europe this summer.
We are devastated. He was looking forward to seeing our homeland and paying respects to their great grandmother's grave, and now he can only drive places (we live in the USA). I'm going to do my best finding some amazing trip in driving distance.
This is difficult for me to ask, but if anyone has connections to any of the following please let me know: Minnesota United (soccer), Minnesota Vikings, XBOX, Activision (call of duty) or other similar teen boy stuff. I am trying to bring as much sunshine to my son's life. Since he can't play contact sports, he's gotten into call of duty and dragged me into it too! Him and I (40s female) bond and share the same account.
Thank you all for giving me an anonymous platform to share my experience. I'm just a normal middle class working mom with a Christian upbringing. I have shared this story with only a handful of people in person because I don't want people thinking I'm weird or crazy. I don't expect anything out of posting this on reddit but I do hope it gives you all some comfort knowing that we are being looked after from the other side. I have tears in my eyes as I write this because of the profound effect it's had on my beliefs and my life.
Lastly, when we hung up from the virtual doctor visit, the first thing my son did was text me. He said don't cancel the trip, his brother should still go. He just heard he needed a transplant and the first thing he thought about was his brother. He's a sweet and strong kid and we will get through this.

(See update at the end) Some context before I (32m) get into the situation as I feel it's important to how I reacted. I have been in two situations, one as a 6-year-old and at 28, that involved women and unwanted touching and beyond in both occasions I have been powerless as a child or incapacitated as an adult like unable to control my bowels or bladder kind of incapacitated. Both my wife and my guest are aware of my past. I'm trying to keep this broad stroke so as not to violate any rules, but again I think this context is important.
So on to the current situation. We currently have a (26f) friend who is living out of a tent, and we often invite her over so she can do laundry, shower, and other hygiene tasks. In this instance, I decided to hop onto my computer and play some games while she did her stuff and hung out with the wife while I chatted back and forth with them a bit. As she wrapped up her visit, she approached me from behind and hit me with a hairbrush not hard just to get my attention. It for sure startled me, and I did snap at her telling her to stop. I looked up at her from my chair, and she does it again, and I tell her to stop again while making direct eye contact with her, which she doesn't doing it once more and then demanding I hug her, which I refuse to do, telling her very clearly "fuck no, I don't want to touch you," and I follow that up with if you keep going like this I'm going to kick you out. She gives me a kinda laugh and says whatever, I'm leaving anyway and then touches me again.
I get to my feet now both extremely panicky feeling and angry we have a bit of a scuffle not a fight, and I end up shouting at her to leave and not come back. I felt entirely violated in my own home during all this, but both her and my wife insist it was just a game and she did not mean it despite me telling her no repeatedly and both my wife and the guest hearing it. I'm for sure not saying my behavior was great, and I've been seeking long-term treatment to help with my issues both mainly being PTSD related to my time as an Army MP and the events mentioned in my personal life. Despite that, I 100% should not have acted in anger like I did.
So am I wrong for feeling the way I do? Or is the wife and the guest right and it was just a game and she didn't mean it.
EDIT: to be 100% upfront it escalated and I reacted (badly) physicality was involved but as also pointed out I was near panicked and overwhelmed due to my past.
EDIT 2: EDIT: Gonna try and respond to a few more posts then I've gotta have a break. I do thank everyone that took the time to write out comments or interact with me.
Edit 3?: My husband gave me access to this account, and I told him I wrote down my perspective. When I asked if I should add it, he said "it's up to you." So here it is.
Our friend approached my husband, who was playing an online cooperative action game on his computer, at his desk. I was sitting on the couch about 8 feet behind them, waiting for my friend to be ready for me to drive her home. She was wearing a long night shirt with a loose v-neck. She stood at his left side peripheral for about 2 seconds before she tapped the back of her hairbrush firmly against the side of his left shoulder. I immediately was not comfortable with this, as I don't tend to engage in horseplay unless someone else has repeatedly demonstrated to me that it's a method of expression that they like and want. I do enjoy my husband's frequent physicality with me, including picking me up or tickling me. My friend and husband have engaged in horseplay on many occasions before, tickling, poking at one another's stomach, and playfully throwing soft objects. This often included my friend's fiance, who usually only reciprocated with my friend. I will frequently smack my husband on the butt, but only when I am sure he is in a mood to be okay with it.
My husband said, "Hey, I'm busy," and didn't turn to her at first. She hit him again with the brush in the same spot, and my husband said "stop" in a normal voice, and my friend responded, saying "give me a hug (which we almost always all do at the end of visits). I don't remember if she hit him again, because he said (and I'm going to paraphrase, because at this point I began to get alarmed, and was only listening to the tone of his voice, and less to his words, unfortunately) that if she didn't stop, he'd make her leave. She said lightly that it didn't matter anyway; she was leaving. At this point, I realized by her teasing tone that she didn't understand how upset he was getting, which I did understand, through years of experience with his tone of voice and what it means. He didn't raise his voice, and I could hear that he was attempting to remain casual as he said something else, ending with "my dude" but that she had really pushed him past the point of anger and I didn't think she realized it. She put her hand on his shoulder, and he said "I don't want to fucking touch you now" and he stood up, and grabbed her by the neck of her shirt, pulling her foreward, and then put both hands around her throat, and I saw his hands tense, as he leaned down into her face and told her to leave the house and never come back. He pushed her backwards and she started to cry, and put her head down, hurrying to get pick up her things. My husband sat back down at his desk and didn't say anything else until I told him I was going to take the friend home and I'd be back, and he said "sure." The friend cried during the ride home, and her voice was harsh, but I wasn't sure if it was stress or physical. She did have marks on her throat, but those faded over the next few hours. She asked me repeatedly why he got so upset, and if anything was different, and I did point out to her that he said "stop," and she said that she thought it was part of the play. When I returned home, my husband did not seem upset, and seemed more relaxed than before, although he seemed nervous about my response to the situation. He said that he didn't remember putting his hands around her throat when I told him that he did.
My thoughts about this are that: 1) horseplaying with people with trauma, which all three of us have, to various degrees and in various forms, is potentially dangerous, and I'm frequently uncomfortable when it happens, although I often don't say anything, as I'm usually the odd one out when it comes to initiating social teasing, although I often enjoy receiving it.
2.) Our friend should have stopped at the word stop. I don't know why she didn't, but I don't think it was out of malice, because she genuinely did not seem to see how she was provoking him.
3.) Her actions were inappropriate, in my opinion, but his were potentially life-threatening and the fact that he didn't remember what he did was alarming. I am concerned that this will happen again, and he will have charges pressed in a situation where he is the first physical aggressor. This would be even worse if he inadvertently harms someone, and the escalation of force combined with memory issues in this latest case makes me worry that it might happen.
4.) I possibly could have prevented this from happening by being quicker stopping her or by getting between them, but I know from experience that once he has a grip on someone, I'm not strong enough to break it, and he ignores my presence or physically shakes me off if I try. He ignores my words entirely at these times. I expected her to see that he was upset before he snapped, because it seemed obvious to me, but she didn't, and I have no idea why. She's had lots of trauma of her own (as have I, including SA) in the past (and, like me, has worked in jobs that revolve around dealing with people dealing with trauma).

(the wolf mutation has nothing to do with the quirks actuall power. Like Koda and Tokoyami's heads or minas antenna.)
Name Matthew Hammond age 15
Quirk: Power control
Has the ability to control a type of energy only he has.
Ways to use this energy is standard strength and speed by but the power into your muscle fibers and organs to enhance their performance. Matthew can also materialize this power in different ways. He finds out how he can do this by watching others, for example shock waves or energy tenticals.
The main weakness is energy drain. I know what y'all probably thinking, "this is like every quirks weakness cause I swing your quirk can tire you out", but his quirks energy drain.
When he use his quirk, the energy runs down and if uses a all out attack he loses the energy and cant use his quirk.
But on the good side , this energy grows back over time , and since it's his quirk energy if he goes to where he let out a huge attack, he can absorbed it back. It takes like an hour to get his power back to 100% naturally if he just goes on with his day.
Mutation: * Wolf Ears and Tail: Matthew has permanent wolf-like ears and a tail as a result of his mutation.* Laser Eyes: Matthew can emit powerful laser beams from his eyes. This mutation was a rare coincident.
Also he can share his energy with others to enhance their quirks cause energy works like that I think.
Elemental Forms and Powers:

1. Lightning Form (Name: Volt)

• Powers: Electrokinesis, Enhanced Speed

Weakness: If used too much then it will damage his nervous system temporarily.

1. Fire Form (Name: Blaze):

• Powers: Pyrokinesis, Heat Resistance

Weakness: if you use too much then we'll gain first degree burns.

1. Water Form (Name: Aquos):

• Powers: Hydrokinesis, Water Healing

Weakness: No clear weakness.

1. Ice Form (Name: Frost):

• Powers: Cryokinesis, Enhanced Durability

Weakness: if in a heated area, then he will get weak and slower.

1. Light Form (Name: Radiance):

Weakness: overused will make him temporarily blind

• Powers: Photokinesis, Illusion Projection

1. Darkness Form (Name: Shadow):

• Powers: Umbrakinesis, Intangibility

Weakness: Obviously light. Even a flashlight.

1. Plant Form (Name: Flora):

• Powers: Chlorokinesis, Plant Communication

1. Metal Form (Name: Alloy):

Weakness: Overtime he'll get weaker cause of rust. Water

• Powers: Metalkinesis, Enhanced Strength

1. Earth Form (Name: Terra):

• Powers: Geokinesis, Earth Manipulation

No clear weakness.
How this works is his power works like a computer l well more like just a normal computer, then a virus AKA and elements infects this power and then it slowly corrupts his powers AKA but there until his body is able to use a different elements,the form is only as strong as his original form because the element can only corrupt what is there,not make more power. A little bit of this energy is still there so that it can take back control. Each form has a mind of its own like some dark shadow type thing. The reason why his forms have minds of their own is cause if I gave him full control his forms he would swap to frequently and that would be two strong.
The reason why he can do this is when he was 3 is quirk was developing and he was exposed to radiation messing with his quirk genes and when his quirk developed it added this.
Hero Costume:

• Appearance: Matthew's hero costume features a sleek and modern design. It includes a green suit with black accents, symbolizing his main form's green hair and eyes.
• Symbol: The costume incorporates a stylized emblem combining the symbols of all his elemental forms, representing his fusion abilities.
• Support Items: Matthew carries specialized bracers that enhance his control over his energy whips. Additionally, he has utility pouches to store various tools and gadgets.

He also has tubes that are like water bottle size on this belt that he charges with his energy every night before he goes to bed in case he runs out of energy himself.
Maximum Output Move: Master Elemental

• Description: Matthew channels and combines the energies of all his elemental forms into one ultimate attack.
• Effects: Elemental tattoos appear on his body, symbolizing each element's power. Lightning appears on his head, fire on his chest, water on his left arm, ice on his right arm, light on his left leg, darkness on his right leg, plant on his right shoulder, metal on his left shoulder, and earth on his back. The attack unleashes a devastating and overwhelming burst of elemental energy.

Carrys amounted cannons inspired by Titan speaker man. They harness his power into either energy balls or just flat out lasers.
To make my self clear his max form when he uses all his elements he can only use 1/10 of his forms power including him as the main guy of this whole body.
PERSONALITY
He's smart nice in a way sometimes a prankster if you try to roast him you will go complete PackGod on you, if he's in a bad mood don't try to comfort him you'll just make things worse and not for him for you, he's really cocky, but not bakugo cocky hes just a bit over confident. He is very creative. He loves tech to the point if you break a 30 buck phone around him, let's just say you gonna want to do a crime in front of batman before Matthew finds you.
Background:
Favorite food: Red Beans and rice
6ft 2
His mom, him , brothers, and his sister some how got the same disease that Michael Jackson had so they all went from black to white. But since you're still African they do still have passes
Hates obsesseve people.
(I'm bout to do some bull shit y'all probably won't like.)
His older brother has a pheonix quirk and he's a hero.
His younger brother has the fusion quirk that I made in a past post)
His sister has digital master quirk but I also need in a previous post.
Any way I hope y'all like my reworked oc

(See update at the end) Some context before I (32m) get into the situation as I feel it's important to how I reacted. I have been in two situations, one as a 6-year-old and at 28, that involved women and unwanted touching and beyond in both occasions I have been powerless as a child or incapacitated as an adult like unable to control my bowels or bladder kind of incapacitated. Both my wife and my guest are aware of my past. I'm trying to keep this broad stroke so as not to violate any rules, but again I think this context is important.
So on to the current situation. We currently have a (26f) friend who is living out of a tent, and we often invite her over so she can do laundry, shower, and other hygiene tasks. In this instance, I decided to hop onto my computer and play some games while she did her stuff and hung out with the wife while I chatted back and forth with them a bit. As she wrapped up her visit, she approached me from behind and hit me with a hairbrush not hard just to get my attention. It for sure startled me, and I did snap at her telling her to stop. I looked up at her from my chair, and she does it again, and I tell her to stop again while making direct eye contact with her, which she doesn't doing it once more and then demanding I hug her, which I refuse to do, telling her very clearly "fuck no, I don't want to touch you," and I follow that up with if you keep going like this I'm going to kick you out. She gives me a kinda laugh and says whatever, I'm leaving anyway and then touches me again.
I get to my feet now both extremely panicky feeling and angry we have a bit of a scuffle not a fight, and I end up shouting at her to leave and not come back. I felt entirely violated in my own home during all this, but both her and my wife insist it was just a game and she did not mean it despite me telling her no repeatedly and both my wife and the guest hearing it. I'm for sure not saying my behavior was great, and I've been seeking long-term treatment to help with my issues both mainly being PTSD related to my time as an Army MP and the events mentioned in my personal life. Despite that, I 100% should not have acted in anger like I did.
So am I wrong for feeling the way I do? Or is the wife and the guest right and it was just a game and she didn't mean it.
EDIT: to be 100% upfront it escalated and I reacted (badly) physicality was involved but as also pointed out I was near panicked and overwhelmed due to my past.
EDIT 2: EDIT: Gonna try and respond to a few more posts then I've gotta have a break. I do thank everyone that took the time to write out comments or interact with me.
Edit 3?: My husband gave me access to this account, and I told him I wrote down my perspective. When I asked if I should add it, he said "it's up to you." So here it is.
Our friend approached my husband, who was playing an online cooperative action game on his computer, at his desk. I was sitting on the couch about 8 feet behind them, waiting for my friend to be ready for me to drive her home. She was wearing a long night shirt with a loose v-neck. She stood at his left side peripheral for about 2 seconds before she tapped the back of her hairbrush firmly against the side of his left shoulder. I immediately was not comfortable with this, as I don't tend to engage in horseplay unless someone else has repeatedly demonstrated to me that it's a method of expression that they like and want. I do enjoy my husband's frequent physicality with me, including picking me up or tickling me. My friend and husband have engaged in horseplay on many occasions before, tickling, poking at one another's stomach, and playfully throwing soft objects. This often included my friend's fiance, who usually only reciprocated with my friend. I will frequently smack my husband on the butt, but only when I am sure he is in a mood to be okay with it.
My husband said, "Hey, I'm busy," and didn't turn to her at first. She hit him again with the brush in the same spot, and my husband said "stop" in a normal voice, and my friend responded, saying "give me a hug (which we almost always all do at the end of visits). I don't remember if she hit him again, because he said (and I'm going to paraphrase, because at this point I began to get alarmed, and was only listening to the tone of his voice, and less to his words, unfortunately) that if she didn't stop, he'd make her leave. She said lightly that it didn't matter anyway; she was leaving. At this point, I realized by her teasing tone that she didn't understand how upset he was getting, which I did understand, through years of experience with his tone of voice and what it means. He didn't raise his voice, and I could hear that he was attempting to remain casual as he said something else, ending with "my dude" but that she had really pushed him past the point of anger and I didn't think she realized it. She put her hand on his shoulder, and he said "I don't want to fucking touch you now" and he stood up, and grabbed her by the neck of her shirt, pulling her foreward, and then put both hands around her throat, and I saw his hands tense, as he leaned down into her face and told her to leave the house and never come back. He pushed her backwards and she started to cry, and put her head down, hurrying to get pick up her things. My husband sat back down at his desk and didn't say anything else until I told him I was going to take the friend home and I'd be back, and he said "sure." The friend cried during the ride home, and her voice was harsh, but I wasn't sure if it was stress or physical. She did have marks on her throat, but those faded over the next few hours. She asked me repeatedly why he got so upset, and if anything was different, and I did point out to her that he said "stop," and she said that she thought it was part of the play. When I returned home, my husband did not seem upset, and seemed more relaxed than before, although he seemed nervous about my response to the situation. He said that he didn't remember putting his hands around her throat when I told him that he did.
My thoughts about this are that: 1) horseplaying with people with trauma, which all three of us have, to various degrees and in various forms, is potentially dangerous, and I'm frequently uncomfortable when it happens, although I often don't say anything, as I'm usually the odd one out when it comes to initiating social teasing, although I often enjoy receiving it.
2.) Our friend should have stopped at the word stop. I don't know why she didn't, but I don't think it was out of malice, because she genuinely did not seem to see how she was provoking him.
3.) Her actions were inappropriate, in my opinion, but his were potentially life-threatening and the fact that he didn't remember what he did was alarming. I am concerned that this will happen again, and he will have charges pressed in a situation where he is the first physical aggressor. This would be even worse if he inadvertently harms someone, and the escalation of force combined with memory issues in this latest case makes me worry that it might happen.
4.) I possibly could have prevented this from happening by being quicker stopping her or by getting between them, but I know from experience that once he has a grip on someone, I'm not strong enough to break it, and he ignores my presence or physically shakes me off if I try. He ignores my words entirely at these times. I expected her to see that he was upset before he snapped, because it seemed obvious to me, but she didn't, and I have no idea why. She's had lots of trauma of her own (as have I, including SA) in the past (and, like me, has worked in jobs that revolve around dealing with people dealing with trauma).

Do you have a group of friends who want to play D&D but no DM? Want to explore a setting that has been built and ironed out with passion throughout the years? Want to engage in a story that has your characters as an integral part of it all? Well then. I may be able to answer your prayers. Read below and I hope that I may have caught your eye enough to give me the chance.
Hello, I'm back again. After trying to form a group from strangers. I decided to save myself the trouble and look for an already established group of friends to DM for a new campaign set in my homebrew world. It's a dark fantasy setting inspired heavily by FromSoftware's various titles (mostly Dark Souls and Bloodborne), ASOIAF, Pillars of Eternity, and of course LoTR.
The Premise
"A wall of darkness had taken the horizon. An abysmal maw stretching into nothingness. Before it, blanketed by unyielding clouds of black, laid a land unrecognizable. The sun’s arrows only pierced as far as perhaps a mile, but it was enough to glimpse the scale of death that had taken hold of Aryleit’s Valley. The color of the endless rows of orchids and daisies, the gentle river that followed the road, the small humble cottages that dotted the landscape. It was all gone. There was no river, no color, no life. Only a broken land of ashes. Like a great fire had raged through. Killing everything."
A disaster, unlike anything ever seen before, struck the eastern lands of Quandra two months ago. First as an earthquake, then as a shadow. Black clouds now occupy hundreds of miles of land and everything underneath it devoid of color and life. There is only speculation about what may have caused it, but the most common rumor is it was the work of magic. Specifically by the hands of the mages of the Ardelyn Academy. Whose great city too lies in the maw of the Eternal Night. Fear around magic has grown significantly. Many believing that its use may trigger another disaster or grow the Eternal Night.
It seems that Ishax may be heading to a dark age. War looms on the horizon as kingdoms lie in wait as vultures to feed upon the wound Quandra suffered. Words of tongueless corpses of elven nobles have grown. A new Rite of Kings ready to commence as Ardentent waits for their king to die. The civil war in Lidym reaching its peak of brutality as the fighting grows. But have they noticed what lurks in the shadows?
What I'm Looking For...

1. Have at least 3 people in your group. Up to a total of 6.
2. Everyone be at least 18 years of age or older.
3. All experience levels are welcomed! Whether everyone is completely new, hard-boiled veterans, or a mixed bag of both.
4. While I may not have to worry about people being disrespectful towards each other (assuming ya are good friends). I would like to DM for a group that is free of any homophobia, racism, etc. None of that edge lord shit please.
5. Players that are eager to engage the world and dive into the story elements of a campaign as well as the stories of the other player characters. The ratio is something about 80-20 Story to Combat. I do try not to neglect combat, but I also do not like throwing it in for the sake of filling a quota.

About Myself

• Worldbuilding is by far my favorite hobby, So much so that I have learned music and 3D software to help add to the world. It is my favorite aspect of fantasy. Only thing I love more than that is collaborative worldbuilding and I have found D&D to be the perfect place for it.
• Communication! I am always happy to answer any questions you may have or clear things up. Not only that but also happy to chat about anything else. If I feel there are issues arising then I won't be afraid to point it out. Only thing that has killed more games than scheduling is a lack of communication.
• Open to Criticism. I know my DMing may not be perfect and I might forget rules here and there, but it is my hope that people reach out to me about any issues. I will never take offense nor hold it against you. It is a game first and all. Maybe you didn't like a ruling or feel I did something unfair. Please let me know and we can discuss it. I do not want grievances to develop due to the lack of communication.

About The Game

• While it is a dark fantasy setting showcasing the horrors of a grim world. All forms of sexual violence are not included in the setting nor permitted. Any other topics you would like me to avoid can be written in the RPG Consent Checklist I have players take before we begin the first session.
• Time: Saturdays/Sundays 7am PST every week. Time is negotiable, but due to my work schedule it will have to be early in the day for me.
• We will be using Discord for voice. Roll20 for the VTT. Talespire for combat encounters (no need to purchase. I simply screenshare it on discord.)
• No Homebrew races. I am open to looking at classes and magic items, but take it with a grain of salt.
• Character Grace Period: The grace period is something I like to throw in my games. Which is basically for the first 3 sessions (5 if new players are included). I will allow players to change ANYTHING about their character. Class, race, whatever. I do this because I believe players may gain a better understanding of the setting in this time and might want to switch to something more fitting.
• No Joke Characters. I'm completely fine with goofing around, but Billy The Toenail Rogue is not a good fit for the world.
• Starting at Level 1 or 3. Depending on the makeup of the group. If there are players who never played before. It's best to begin at level 1 and move up quickly so they can gather the experience.
• Milestone Leveling.
• NO PVP!

Is This Campaign Right For You?

• RP/Narrative Heavy/Political Intrigue. You will find that I do skew a bit more towards the story side of dnd, but that is not to say combat is neglected. I just tend to do combat encounters when it makes sense narratively other than to fit a quota. That's also to say I'm not going to just let 7 sessions go by without a fight.
• Player Agency! It is vital that the players feel like their choices are actually affecting the world around them. I do so by placing a lot of importance on player characters and their backstories. Whether you write a paragraph or a novel. Be sure that I will be using it all to wove it into the grand schemes of the story. The world reacts to you as much as you react to it. I shape the campaign to your characters!
• Living and Breathing World! Worldbuilding is something I'm very passionate about and this world is something I have been fleshing out and changing for years. I very much enjoy making it feel like a real and living world to the players. I also encourage players to add to it as well. If there's something I love as much as worldbuilding. It's collaborate worldbuilding. Events in the world are not paused. Waiting for you to arrive.
• Long Term Campaign! Due to the nature of the story and everything I have planned. This campaign can last a while. During this time. You could see your characters grow to become heroes hailed in every corner of the world as you travel from place to place.

Setting Guide: https://drive.google.com/file/d/13euGqDwPuMcO6qxI9MVD-UF5hUb8bKhview?usp=sharing
Again forgive me for the walls of text. Feel free to skim through it to get an idea of what the world is like. I'm always open to answer any questions regarding the setting.
Apply here!: https://forms.gle/ydmvavr29jRyUy9A6

hi, i am 42 and i feel all i have in my life is my job and my parents of whom i live with.
i have no children or family or my own, and this failing has been eating away at me. tried to do something about it but nothing availed (career? string of dead end jobs. women? never reply or can ever get close to on a personal level). after my grandmum died a few weeks ago i really do begin to feel the clock ticking and this anxiety and worry, i dont know if thats a midlife crisis.
all i know, this is not just an episode of being 'down in the dumps'. its been something i feel its been growing inside me for years - not in my head, but feeling it from my gut. i'm starting to feel it interrupting my job. my get up and go has got up has gone. i just dont feel like working even though the rational part of me forces myself to just do it. i dont know if i have depression but lately i am in this state where i just dont feel like doing anything and i am just unhappy.
i used to be a gamer in my 30s as a hobby, but i havent even touched my ps5 for over 6 months. i've sold all my games. i just lost the will to play.
i have been seeing a counsellor for 11 years in trying to 'get help' (as everyone keeps saying) but i feel its done hardly anything for me. she has aspired me to do travelling to get out my comfort zone and meet people, which i have done. but thats it. even travelling is becoming meaningless now because i am constantly in this state of preoccupation. i know after a big holiday i'll never see those people again even if they add me on facebook or not (and when they don't, it hurts).
people say talk to friends and family. i have no real friends. never have. when i was a little boy in school, i was bullied. in secondary school i got focused on my studies thinking that eventually, a degree would unlock a life of fabulous riches. but i eventually learned the hard way with years of unemployment that it wasnt, back then. i tried reaching out to people, online via a facebook group, but it descended to insults and hurtful remarks that left me banned and made me punched the wall. my family doesnt know about my feelings, becaise from what i have seen, mental health is seen as taboo. they'll just admonish me, shout me down, tell me to get a grip. i cant really talk to them because they're going to deny theres a problem. and i dont want to break their hearts, especially my parents. i rather soak the pain than bring them in it. i love them too much to see them feel hurt for me.
social groups - when going out, if its not work or a family function, i largely have social anxiety. i so badly want to meet women and get a girlfriend, who hopefully becomes my wife and eventual mother to my kids and form my new family, but i just seem incapable of it. i just cant get close to a woman at that personal and intimate level. if i try, it results in failure and embarassment. at the rare times i did try, it just doesnt come out right. i once went to salsa dancing class in a big city nearby, trying to talk to women, but the anxiety was so overwhelming, i couldnt breathe, and thought i was going to have a heart attack, i had to get out of there. i never been back since. i dont even go to pubs. i think about women more and more - even women i wasnt attracted to at first, drives me crazy now. i remember when leaving a job to move to another, a lady colleague i worked alot with hugged me, and it felt unlike anything i felt before. it was amazing. the softness, the warmth, the care...its as if i was missing that my whole life. i was close to crying. i want to experience true closeness, and intimacy.
thats not to say i'm a virgin. i lost my virginity at 30 to an escort; that was a unsatisfying experience as even then i had anxiety and couldnt perform properly - i did it because i didnt wanted to be the '30 year old virgin'. i just cant seem to get close with women. i tend to obsess about them. my instagram feed is full of attractive women. seeing beautiful ones on tv, even if its just the weather girl or news reader, it drives me nuts. in my job, i work with journalists, and theres many women there. i can talk to them confidently and easily, IF ITS ABOUT WORK. the instances i tried to talk about life in trying to get to know them and get close to them, the barrier goes up. i can tell because they wont add me on fb or whatever. i just cant seem to hack it with women. no woman = no wife = no mother to my children = no family of my own = no legacy.
i appreciate some might say not having family should not mean one is a failure. however, as much as i tried to ignore it, i come from a culture whereby family trumps everything else - money, career, hobbies, everything. i been ignoring it for years. trying to chase a career, which ended up as a string of dead end temporary jobs. losing 15 years of my life to this, living from temp job to temp job, and going to over 200 job interviews in getting secure employment, enduring hundreds of devastating rejections. but, years later, i now have at least job security, which is most important, but am beginning to feel the limit of my pay. trying to chase a career, spending nights throughout the 2010s playing video games and enjoying my gaming career in that, playing adventure games...but now i have reached a point where i've 'run out' of games to play and nothing (except maybe gta6) will interest me in picking up a controller again. i've grown out of it, it seems. i even been travelling more too - i travel far, and so big holidays. from usa, to africa, to europe, to india, and soon to be going to australia... doing all sorts of holidays from cruises, ranch holidays, safari, hiking, group road trips, wildlife conservation volunteering, sailing the mediterrarian - grand, amazing experiences that does suspend my worries... but in the end, i keep coming back to them, this feeling of emptiness.
my big fear is seeing my parents get older and dying from a broken heart caused by me. my dad worked in construction but is retired and now freelances, and he tends to hurt himself in accidents as he gets clumsy. my mother works in a school. i have always lived with my family except during the years i was at university. i feel my mum and dad are my 'best friends' - sad as it sounds -and the thought of them both going to die somepoint in the future, fills me with dread. because i feel i have failed them, in not continuing the family line. failing to secure a legacy for us. to keep us all going, surviving through the next generation. when i think about it deeply, our bloodline has been passed down for thousands of years, surviving through all sorts such as wars, plagues, and revolutions. i feel compelled to continue it, as if its a duty, and i dont want my parents to die with their last thoughts being disappointment. i can see it in my dads eyes already, the sadness. he wants to play with his grandchildren, but he has none, and all his friends shows off their grandkids. similarly with me, i see people i went to school with, and ex-colleagues i used to work with...they all have kids and a house of their own and a car. i have none of that. i stand NO chance buying a house of my own as i simply can't afford it, and renting will be throwing my money away living on other peoples crap. i said to my parents i want to inherit this home when they go, because my memories are here. my history. our family memories. my happy childhood memories, growing up, the birthdays, playing with my brother, my parents, the fun times growing up, coming back from school, doing homework, watching football together on the TV in the 90s, our first pc, all of it. all of these amazing experiences back then, i love to go through again, but this time with my own kids, seeing them grow up, playing with toys, drawing, having a first pet, etc...to navigate life with them as a father, and teaching them what i believe is required to be a good person.
before you say it, i'm not just doing it for my parents. i want a family for myself. i feel if i failed to have children, failed to find someone who loves me, failed to have any friends, failed to have had any influence or imprint on the world nomatter how small - i actually feel i'm not part of this world. to quote ellie from the last of us, my life would not have 'fkn mattered'. its as if i am a 'watcher', if that makes sense, not part of the fabric of this world and civilisation. watching it all from a window. that'll lead me to questions like why i am i here, leading to a probable, and painful, full-on existential crisis. when its my parents' time, when they grow old and die, and if i'm left all alone, i dont think i'd want to live anymore. i'm praying to find something. of course, i know i have to DO something, but my mind draws a blank. i cant ignore what my body is telling me anymore. but then, i step outside the house, and i dont know what to do, socially. when i approach someone, i get anxiety attacks. in my town, people are aggressive - its also possible if i approach a woman here i might end up getting assaulted, shouted at or shamed. sometimes theres no place to really go as i live in a small town. and as you get older, its harder to make friends, as people already have their established circles. i even remember my ex-manager talking to colleagues about this when we had a drink once and she asked 'how do you meet people' even though shes in her 50s and has established family and friends - indeed. how, for those who do not.
for coping, some people elsewhere suggested exercising. this is something i tend to do, but perhaps not enough of. i like to go on walks. theres a public park where i go and feed the ducks. seeing animals makes me happy. when the baby ducks swim to me wanting the kibble food it makes me feel wanted. i love animals. from dogs, cats and ducks - to even wild animals like the tigers i saw in india. i also did some hiking holidays, including going through some american national parks like yosemite, where i saw a family of bears at a distance. travelling is something i like to do too - in fact, i have more 'big' holidays coming up in usa again (alaska this summer), then australia, europe (croatia), the canadian rockies and maybe south america. i do these trips to get that out-of-body, 'blown away' feeling, of being thrilled, alive, and enjoying and experiencing life. it does help. but travelling is expensive. i'm not made of money.
all i want, is my own family..

I got an invitation in the mail in a pretty purple envelope covered with flowers and shiny plastic gems. It was for a girls-only sleepover, something I'd never done before. At first, I was really excited, but then I saw that it was from Jane and Mary Bardell.
The twin girls were in my 7th-grade class. They were really quiet and rarely talked. Even though they didn't say much, you could still feel they were there. I remember sitting in front of them one day and feeling their quiet energy behind me.
The back of my neck started to tingle and feel hot. When I looked back, I saw Jane staring at me. Her deep-set dark eyes looked hungry, like she hadn't eaten in days and I was the meat dangling in front of her face. Mary also looked at me, and when she smiled, it almost seemed like she had fangs.
When they did talk, always in perfect unison, they sounded flat and without any emotion. But their serious looks and voices made me feel uncomfortable, and the room felt heavy. Luckily, they usually sat in silence at the back of the class.
One day, they just didn't come to school anymore and stayed home. Maybe their parents decided to school them at home. They lived across the street from me in a neat two-story brownstone house. Their lawn was well-maintained and protected by a sturdy five-foot iron fence.
The curtains in their house were kept closed tight. No light ever came out, even at night. But sometimes, on the second floor, a curtain would move, and I'd see the twins' pale faces looking out. We'd lock eyes for a moment before the curtain closed again.
After they stopped coming to school, some kids from our class started to go missing. First, it was Eddie, who vanished on his way home. Then Katy disappeared the same way. Both of them had walked past Jane and Mary's house before they went missing.
For some reason, I just had a feeling deep down that the twins had something to do with the disappearances. I even wondered if they were really human. Maybe they were vampires. Oh, yes, they were definitely vampires! It all made sense.
"You're going," my mom insisted at dinner when I told her I didn't want to go to the sleepover. I didn't see the point since I could sleep in my own bed. Why stay at someone else's house when I lived just across the street?
I groaned. "I don't want to go. They're so fucking weird.”
"Watch your language!" Both my parents warned me, giving me a serious look.
“It’s been difficult for that family,” Dad said, “The girls had to be pulled out of school because of an illness.”
“What kind of illness?”
“Their parents didn’t say what it was, but they said the girls would like to have friends.”
“Oh, those poor girls,” Mom sighed. “They just want to have a nice and normal sleepover party.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to go.”
“You’re going.”
And that was that.
I wasn't hungry anymore and left my dinner unfinished. I headed straight to my room and glanced out the window. I saw their pale faces peeking through the curtain in their second-floor bedroom. I closed the blinds and turned off the light. There was no way I was going to their house without something to keep me safe.
XXXXXX
“Your house is really nice,” I remarked, placing my sleeping bag and pillow on the floor. I kept my backpack close, making sure the crucifix I borrowed from my parents was safely tucked inside one of its pockets. I really hope my mom doesn't realize it's missing.
I was the only one who had arrived at the Bardell’s house so far. Mrs. Bardell opened the door and greeted me with a big, never-ending smile that looked like it was permanently glued to her face. Her teeth showed through the wide grin, and her lips were covered in a thick layer of red lipstick.
“That's really nice of you," she responded with a smile. “I can see why you get along with my girls.”
Mary and Jane, seated across from me, both nodded and chimed in together, “Yes, she's great, Mom. We're happy we invited her.”
“So, when are the others getting here?” I asked.
“What others?” Mrs. Bardell appeared puzzled.
“Tammy and Harriette. They said you invited them too, and they promised they'd come.”
“Oh, they're not coming anymore. They called just before you arrived to let us know,” Mrs. Bardell explained. Her big, dark eyes moved between me and the twins. “Okay girls, just sit tight for a bit. Dinner will be ready soon.” Then she went into the kitchen.
Fantastic! Just fantastic! Some friends they are. Traitors!
“They didn't tell me…” I mumbled quietly, feeling betrayed. I quickly checked my phone and texted Tammy: So you're just not gonna show up?
The message was stuck on “sending…”
“Don't worry about it,” the twins reassured me. “We'll still have a great time tonight!”
Their idea of a good time was putting on a skit they had practiced the last few days. The twins disappeared upstairs, only to return dressed in their costumes. Mary had on a gray hoodie that I thought I'd seen before, and I noticed a dark crusty-looking red spot on the sleeve. Jane sported a baseball uniform. Mr. Bardell, wearing a smile like his wife, joined in the fun. He was down on all fours, wearing a dog mask that looked surprisingly lifelike.
I sat still on the sofa, feeling completely weirded out.
As Mary ambled around the living room, her hood shielding her face and her hands tucked in her pockets, Jane and Mr. Bardell engaged in a game of frisbee. Mr. Bardell crawled around like a playful pup, zooming across the room and even leaping over the couch. Quickly, I crouched down to avoid getting hit. He then sprang to his feet, his arms bent like a dog's, proudly holding the frisbee in his mouth.
Mary stopped and glanced back. “Cool dog,” she said.
“Thanks,” Jane said, mimicking a man’s low pitch. “What’s your name, son?”
“Eddie.”
My stomach sank. That was the name of our missing classmate.
“Would you like to play with him?” Jane continued.
“I should really get home, my mom–” said Mary.
“One throw won't hurt, would it?”
“I guess not.”
Jane grabbed the frisbee out of her dad's mouth and passed it to Mary. The frisbee soared into the dining room and plopped right onto a plate sitting on the table.
“Oh! It flew into my house,” said Jane.
“I'm sorry!” Mary said.
“That's okay, my daughters are getting a kick out of watching us.” Jane pointed up. “Do you see them over there? Second floor, window to the right.”
Mary waved.
“They told me you're a friend of theirs.”
“Not exactly friends… I mean, we went to the same school. I haven't seen them around in a while though.”
“Why don't you come inside and say hi?”
Before Mary could answer, Mrs. Bardell popped out of the kitchen, saying dinner was served. All eyes turned to me, waiting for me to make the first move.
XXXXX
Vote on the character's next move.

Hey everyone,
I been trying to fix my load order on xbox. I am not sure what the culprit is but I get as far as the weapon armor and clothing mods section and it crashes, I have taken mods out and stuff that Ithink are causing issues but I cant figure out what is wrong.
Master Files

1. Unofficial Fallout 4 Patch

Framework

1. Workshop Framework
2. Munitions – An Ammo Expansion
3. AWKCR
4. Player Responds to Pain
5. Cclub – All-in-One
6. Mutant Menagerie
7. You and What Army (updated)
8. USO Base Game
9. integrated Commonwealth
10. True Storms: Wasteland Edition
11. Settlement Electricity Overhaul
12. Munitions – Vanilla Ammo Addon
13. Faction Pip-boys

Fast Start Mods

1. Start Me Up REDUX – FDI

Faction Overhauls

1. Creation Club Delayed
2. Brotherhood Of Steel Overhaul
3. Liberty reborn
4. Liberty reborn Gunners patch
5. Liberty reborn You and what army
6. Creation Club Faction Wear Weapons and Armor
7. DC Guards Uniform by MF
8. Institute Overhaul
9. Worldwide Ghouls

New Worldspace

1. Vault 120

Vanilla Quest edits and companion overhauls

1. Everyone’s Best Friend Dogmeat
2. Unofficial Patch Everyone’s Best Friend Dogmeat
3. When Pigs Fly Fix

Settlement Building mods

1. Vertical Power Conduits
2. Pass-Through Conduits
3. Vault-tec Workshop Conduits
4. Craftible vault elevator
5. Visible idle markers
6. M.D. Wolfe’s Shipping
7. Functional Displays
8. Manufactering Extended
9. Manufacturing Extended Expanded
10. Munitions Manufacturing
11. Vault-Tec Workshop Overhaul Redux
12. Water Delivery
13. Minuteman Morale Pack
14. Vault Cornfield Wall
15. More Guard Barricades
16. Vault 88 Corners Plus
17. Vault 88 – More Vault Rooms
18. Vault 88 – Corners Plus Unlock
19. Modular Vault Rooms
20. Vault 88 Room Corners Plus – Vault 88 – More Rooms Patch

Settlement building scrip injectors

1. Settlement Objects Expansion
2. G2M – Workshop
3. USO Season Pass
4. USO AWKCR Patch
5. USO Performance Boost
6. USO NextGen Patch
7. SMM

Gameplay changes

1. Mobile Workshop SKK
2. Power Armor Overhaul
3. Creation Club Hellfire Butt plate fix
4. Commonwealth weapon superstore
5. Simple Attack & Death Reactions
6. Faster Melee and unarmed attack
7. What should have been
8. Move that armor frame
9. Ballistic Weave book
10. Better wasteland survival guide
11. Wasteland imports
12. Fallout 4 cut content mod
13. Workshop Ownership utility SKK
14. Settlement attack system SKK
15. Settlement Attack marker add on
16. move workshop markers SKK
17. Full Dialogue interface
18. SD’s Snarky DLC loading screens
19. Cheat Terminal

NPC Mods

1. Dual Survivors - Nate
2. Combat Settlers SKK
3. Ferals can’t open doors
4. Essential NPCs Expanded

Audio Mods

1. Realistic reverb and ambience
2. Faded Glory

Visual Mods

1. FO4 Extras power armor uniformity
2. Light sources do not cast dynamic light
3. Ultimate decal remover GOTY
4. Glassy Pipboy Screen
5. Interiors enhanced 2.0
6. Realistic Lighting by SirGreen
7. Realistic Lighting True Storms Patch
8. Desert like weather chance True Storms
9. Electronics + True storms
10. Power Line Physics
11. True Storms Far Harbor
12. Pipboy light cast shadows
13. Wave
14. Immersive candles
15. Corpse Looting 76 SKK

Vanilla settlement mods

1. Unrestricted Settlements
2. Codsworths roof repair
3. Red Rocket v2.0
4. Somerville v2.0+ RR Reborn
5. Taffington v2.0
6. Clean and simple – Vault 88
7. Doors not walls

Sorting mods

1. Exclusion – sorting

Hud Mods

1. Quality of life: custom ini
2. HUDFramework
3. Immersive HUD (iHUD)
4. IHUD patch

Character model replacers

1. Synthkind Redefined
2. Show accurate Codsworth
3. HeadCanon Tattoos

Pip-Boy Replacers

1. Factions have pip-boy’s

Map Mods

1. Improved map

Weapon Armor and clothing mods

1. Laser Garand
2. Laser Garand Replaces Laser Musket
3. Automatron – more robot voices...
4. TNR Shoulder Lamp
5. Edmond’s Power Armor Backpacks
6. Better Automatron Weapons
7. Tactical Weapon Mods

Crafting mods

1. Conversion – Munitions
2. Makeshift Weapons Ammo Crafting
3. UCO Base Game
4. UCO Season Pass
5. UCO Morgans Space Suit

Load bottom mods

1. Place Anywhere
2. Brute force scrapper
3. Lookup Failed
4. Better Companions
   Any help is greatly apreciated.
   

Hello, i’m making this post and will update it accordingly to share, so others have another resource to read/look into, and maybe feel hopeful about their situation. This will probably be a lengthy post so i apologize in advance.
For some background, i’m a 23 year old male, slightly chubby/thicker, i’ve been competing in powerlifting and doing strength training since i was about 15, and very recently, started experiencing some ED with my partner.
So far it’s happened twice with me. The first time I had figured i was just tired in the moment, i had already taken my melatonin for the night and was half asleep when we decided to have sex. I went soft when the intercourse started. That night i had written it off as me just being tired and ready for bed. The second time, i was a little more embarrassed. There’s not much to it other than that - we initiated sex, and i again - went soft during intercourse. And i felt awful about it.
it’s been about a week, since the second occurrence happened, since then ive started taking my ashwagandha and magnesium taurate again, and last night i decided to throw some zinc into the mix. I also started drinking an 8oz mixture of organic beet juice and pomegranate juice, daily. I’ve also cut out ALL porn and masturbation, there will be more on this later. I have a HUGE history with porn and masturbation.
Since i started taking my supplements again, some mornings i have morning wood, other times, i don’t. im doing a very good job at not letting this deter my effort or wipe out my hope. this all takes time i’m sure.
I firmly believe porn is my culprit. I discovered porn back in the 1st grade. fast forward to 3rd grade, i learned how to masturbate. jump over to 7th grade and all through highschool, im doing it daily, a few times a day. And it only got worse as i got older, even after graduated highschool. So i’m led to believe that my habits are starting to catch up to me!
In recent years, i’ve had a habit of bookmarking porn videos to my pc, saving NSFW reddit posts, and eventually just casually watching it while i’m gaming. i’ll look at it in the gym parking lot while i wait for my caffeine to kick in, i’ll look at twitter porn while i drive home, or on my breaks at work. It had gotten waaaaay too casual for me. I’d be in discord with my friends playing games, if i died in whatever game, i’d load up google chrome and just browse a site, looking for a video that looked nice. All while touching myself too, not straight up beating it but just rubbing the head of my penis, and basically edging myself.
Recently, when my current girlfriend and i started seeing eachother, i remember i was erect almost ALL the time when we cuddled or kissed and got slightly intimate. And i think a huge reason for that is - when we had first started seeing eachother, i was always at her house, i wasn’t at home on my PC looking at porn, i wasn’t on my phone looking at porn, i wasn’t being stimulated by anything, AND i was also taking my ashwagandha + magnesium. At the time, i was taking ashwagandha an effort to reduce stress and have a clearer head. i was doing some testing for a job so i looked into ashwagandha and started taking it, turns out my mom already had some in the house and just gave me the magnesium to take with it. But i remember being fully erect ALL the time.
At some point, i had fallen off of the ashwagandha and magnesium, not for any specific reason. I would sleep at my girlfriends house and go straight to work in the morning, so i wasn’t stopping by my house to get my supplements. on top of that, as our schedules got busier and i had more time to myself at home, i would find myself playing video games, while browsing porn and touching myself. i had fallen back into that nasty habit, that i essentially had unknowingly dropped for a little bit.
So this is where i’m at now. ashwagandha, magnesium, and zinc daily. Plus beet juice and pomegranate juice, and no porn.
My break at work is coming to an end so i’m closing this out for now, i’ll edit and add more when i’m home, as well as answer any questions, if there are any! thanks for reading and good luck!

Author's Note: I've been an HFY reader for some time now, and now I have the urge to share a story. This is my first story, so please leave feedback in the comments! Also, I may or may not decide to make a game based of this story. If I do, I'll link it in a comment. Without further ado, enjoy the story!
High Admiral Tilgrix Traxiv was having a bad day. He was currently sitting in a fighter, which he was only in because the escape pods were destroyed, and not only had it been EMP'd, disabling almost every system except life support, which itself was hanging by a thread, the grav-gen was spinning. It spun at just the right speed to make him incredibly nauseous. And to make matters worse, none of this should have happened! He was 3 systems away from the main battlefront against the Mei-Kai, and worse, he was on his way home from battle. His crew was being transferred home for a much needed break from the stress of war, and they were woefully unprepared to be attacked so suddenly. The Mei-Kai ships were there, picking at the corpse that was his ship. They were built in typical Mei-Kai fashion; with no rhyme or reason whatsoever. Their design philosophy seemed to be:
"Oh hey, we need this thingamabob"
"Put it next to the thingamajig"
"Wait, we need this thingy as well"
"Ok, just slap it on top. It'll be fine!"
Annoyingly, this haphazard approach to ship construction was remarkably effective. It also meant they could just directly rip off whatever they wanted from enemy ships, and slap it on a place that is functional. Only the humans are comparable, with their modular design philosophy, but they aren't involved in the war, unfortunately. Or perhaps fortunately. The Sefliician {Sef-lee-eesh-ee-an} and the Mei-Kai governments had asked that the humans stay out of the war. Well, they asked everyone to stay out, but specifically the humans. The humans were too good at warfare. They demonstrate their prowess every Galactic sub-cycle in the Sim War Games. Whichever side had them would win. Even if it was the entire galaxy versus them. Humans never lose wars. Except against themselves. In any case, the Sefliician Empire and the Mei-Kai Union prefered to battle it out themselves, in accordance to the Galactic Constitution, subsection c, rule seven, under section x, Disputed Territory Settlements. Legally, anyways. In practice, both parties simply wanted to see who was tougher. They decided to fight for the next 50 sub-cycles, capturing as much territory as possible, and whatever was held by each at the end, would belong to them. While this ambush wasn't strictly against the Galactic Rules of Warfare Against Union Members, it was certainly not fair play.
This was all going through Tilgrix's mind as he drifted through space, watching the Mei-Kai dismantle his ship and the Terran Conglomerate hospital ships trickle in to start rescuing survivors. Suddenly, a bright flash appeared, and a wormhole was ripped open behind the Mei-Kai vessels, and through it trillions of tiny ships entered and began ripping the unsuspecting vessels to shreds.
The Volctic! he thought in horror as the swarm of enemy ships tore through the Mei-Kai like butter. The hospital ships began firing at the swarm, even as they tried to finish gathering the survivors and jump away. The Volctic swarm began to race towards the Terran ships, being destroyed by the hundreds, but millions took the place of every ship destroyed. The Volctic have been busy in their long exile it seems, Tilgrix thought as he began desperately praying to any being in the cosmos that could hear him that the EMP would wear off in time for him to activate the emergency jump drive every fighter was equipped with since the humans were first contacted.
His prayers were answered. The ship's essential systems began turning back on, beginning with the jump drive. Internally broadcasting his gratitude to whatever force answered his prayer, he powered up the jump drive. This caught the attention of the Volctic ships, but he managed to jump in time, vanishing into the aether just before they caught him.
Tilgrix arrived at a nearby beam station a few seconds later, roughly 6 systems away. He breathed a sigh of relief before noticing a coms transmission request. Accepting it, he was startled by the sudden excited chatter noise of someone who was clearly far too new to the job of Space Traffic Controller. "Hello traveler! And welcome to the Sifilax Primary Beam Station. Not only are we able to send you to any beam station in the Galaxy in less than an hour, we have all that your heart could desire while waiting for a flight or for bureaucracy to let you leave! We have restaurants, bars, and casinos! We have gyms, pools, and parks! Here for all your between-transit needs! Please dock your fighter in Dock C, Subdock F." Tilgrix grinned. He remembered being that enthusiastic about his job. Within a few minutes, he was docked.
Once he got out of the cockpit, he immediately headed over to the nearest Map Projector. "Sefliician Military Office" he stated. A route was highlighted, and uploaded to his state-of-the-art HUD chip. He quickly made his way over. After a brief pause by the door, he entered. The computer scanned him, and a hologram appeared behind the desk. "Hello, High Admiral Tilgrix Traxiv. What brings you here?"
"I bring dire news," he stated flatly. "I need to speak to the Emperor immediately." Surprised, the Digital Sapient quickly smoothed her face before complying, opening a direct holo-link between Tilgrix and the Emperor before vanishing. Tilgrix waited patiently for the computer to verify his identity and the Emperor to respond. "This better be good Admiral," The Emperor warned. "I'm in the middle of a council session. We have urgent business to conduct."
"Your majesty, this is the most important message I have ever sent in my life." The Emperor's face briefly darkened [This is the same as a human face paling], eye ridges shooting up, before he regained his composure. "Go on..." he said warily. "As you know, I was being transferred out of battle, and on my way home. Three systems in from the front, we were ambushed by the Mei-Kai." The Emperor raised an eyebrow at that. "While that is certainly foul play, it is not illegal in and of itself, and certainly not dire enough by itself to warrant such a drastic opening statement. What else is there? Did they hurt civilians? Did they butcher anyone? What is it?" Tilgrix hesitated, before setting his shoulders. "While the Mei-Kai were harvesting my ship, a wormhole opened up, and trillions of ships arrived. Volctic ships." The Emperor froze, face becoming almost black. "Are you sure?" he asked, half rhetorically. "Unfortunately so, your majesty." The Emperor smoothed his features, before setting his own shoulders, and narrowing his eyes. "Then we need to call an emergency session. I will have my servants send orders to assign you a ship. We meet before the Galactic Council in three days." The Emperor terminated the call.
Within an hour, he was assigned a ship to travel to the Galactic Union Council Station for an emergency meeting. The war against the Mei-Kai was put on hold. The Volctic had returned.

A flicker of light started to drain away the darkness I was so used to. The darkness where I felt most comfortable and at peace. The flicker slowly enveloped the entire pitch black room within minutes. I could do nothing but sigh in disappointment and open my eyes.
My adjusting eyes were being harassed by the tiny beam of light that made it through my curtain. Where it's at the precise angle that you swear some higher power is just messing with you.
My groggy eyes focused on the clock, it was 7:00 a. M.
Time for work.
The day was April 14th, 2014. A Monday. I knew I only had about an hour to get up, get ready for work, shower, make breakfast and make sure I get to work a few minutes early so I didn't clock in late.
I was only 28 years old and I hated my sales job. I had gone to college and got my marketing degree but I never thought I'd end up here.. selling bullshit products at incredibly hiked prices to unsuspecting or oblivious customers.
I had been doing this job for 3 years and it felt like everyday was just going to be worse. Just a buildup of hatred for your job overtime is natural I guess. Typically people find ways to cope with the constant 9-5 grind. Like going out with friends or clubbing or whatever...but I had none of those.
When my days ended I would go home and watch Netflix and drink then do it all again. I wish it was different, I wish I had the motivation to change myself. But it's difficult when you have no one to support you in your efforts. My mom died from breast cancer when I was 12. Seeing her on hospice for several months suffering from stage 4 cancer was...something you shouldn't see as a 12 year old. To see your once lovely, athletic, hilarious, loving and caring mother degrade into an 85 pound, drug-induced, horrifyingly thin creature that in no way resembled her from my memories of when she was cancer free.
I remember one morning my dad woke me up and said "come to the living room...your mother is taking her last breathes". As soon as he finished that sentence, my memories flooded back...memories of her taking care of me when I was sick, being at my soccer games cheering me on, asking how my day was when I got back from school, leaning on her shoulder as we sat in church. The memories came and went in an instant and the reality set in. My heart at first skipped a few beats but then accelerated to an unhealthy pace. My head started to spin, tears slowly started swelling up on my eyes.
I had jumped off the bed and sprinted to the living room. She was facing away from me and the first thing I noticed are how purple/ blue her feet are. I walk around the hospice nurse and look at my mother's face. She was place, her breathing was almost non-existent for almost 2 minutes but still there...until it wasn't...she was gone.
I was lost, my dad was bawling. I was crying too but at 12 years old I didn't know how hard the reality would hit as time goes on.
In my lost state, I turned on the TV show "MONK" on the laptop. It was a show my mom and I used to watch, and I figured watching it would make me feel like I'm with her again.
Time went on and I realized how losing a mother truly impacts your younger years. But time still, moved on yet.
I got in my car and left for work. The drive to the office was only about half an hour. I put my sunglasses on as I'm travelling east for almost the entire drive, something I was used to by this point. The drive to work was uneventful other than the usual jackass that cuts you off or is speeding down the road.
I made it to work and stepped out of my car. For some reason, grabbed my backpack and shut the door. For some reason the thought of my mother came across my mind. The sighed, looked down at the ground and stared at the concrete for the few seconds while only thinking of how I missed her. Then the thought vanished and I got on with my life.
The day was incredibly boring, only sold a couple of products, I dealt with people in the east coast of the U.S. and customers there are always so nasty and rude with their comments. It's impossible to build rapport with them. I'm jealous of the employees that have West coast as their territory.
The day ended with my last call but no sales for the day. Hopped in my car and drove back home.
Now I've already told you what I do when I get home. Just drink and watch Netflix. And that's exactly what I did. I can't remember the name of the show( probably because I was already tipsy) but it had to do with strange phenomenons.
I don't even remember passing out but I do remember being there in that dark room again; it was so comfortable and cozy. I sat in the corner of the room with eyes wide closed ...no people, nothing to disturb me, just... nothingness of warmth.
For hours this went on until I heard a woman's voice saying "I'm glad you're here". suddenly realizing that I had overslept my body jolted awake, completely forgetting about that eerie voice. Drinking on a Monday night is not a good idea. Blurry and in a haze trying to concentrate my focus I made out the clock saying 7:00 a.m. April 15th, 2014.
I thought how odd that was. I've been doing the same job with the same schedule for 3 years now and I know when I oversleep. Yet knowing this brought a mental smile to my mind, as my supervisor won't get on my ass for showing up late, again.
I got up lazily and stretched and got on with my morning routine. Finally got dressed and hopped in my car to leave for work. I was only about 5 minutes in when I realized something was off...why was I wearing sunglasses? The sun was behind me, not in front. I took my glasses off and read my car dashboard compass; "EAST".
I have taken this drive for 3 years now every Monday through Friday and I had always worn sunglasses for the drive to the office. I looked behind me and saw the sun rising from the west.
I was still calm, but subconsciously I could tell my panic and anxiety were building with what I was experiencing. I decided to pull over at a gas station, took my phone out and opened my GPS. 'I was still facing east.
I quietly stated "what the fuck". I looked up and asked the person next to me pumping gas " look! The sun! It's rising from the west" with an ecstatic and speedy tone. He looked at me with a smile on his face and said "yeah? Don't ya know it's always rose from the west".
The reality of this was starting to set on, anxiety building, I got back in my car and just sat there... Running my hands through my hair, pulling and stretching my face wondering what the hell was happening? My eyes were staring wide at the brake and gas pedal...trying to find some kind of logical explanation for this while still running my hands over my face and hair.
I decided to take my phone out again and click on trending news hoping to see something explaining or even acknowledging this phenomenon. Nothing. I opened Google search and looked up "sun rising in west" the first thing that popped up said Earth is rotating about its own axis from East to West".
This wasn't right.
I figured I would try to get to work and maybe one of my coworkers would have some answer. My entire body was shaking for the entire drive but I made it".
I got out of the car and the strangest thing came across my mind. A memory. A very unique memory of back when I was 12, in the back yard playing capture the flag with my neighbor that lived behind me. A time which I could go back when.
The memory came and vanished in an instant, but left the overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and sadness.
I walked into the office and started asking around about the sun. Again, none of them knew what I was talking about, but before they answered my question, they would say "oh hey, it's nice to have you here" or "we're glad to have you here" all with a smile on their faces.
Not super weird as my coworkers are typically super energetic happy people. But it did become weird when my east coast clients started answering their phones saying "hey, you're always welcome here"
I couldn't see their faces but I could tell by their tone and attitude that they were smiling. This was not normal. I rushed to the bathroom, opened a stall and sat on the toilet. I started having a panic attack. Nothing was right, the people, the sun, the specific memories... I started to run my hands over my face, stretching and contorting it, trying to calm myself down with feeling my heart bursting out of my chest. I started to whimper, I didn't want anyone outside of the stalls to hear me. None of my coworkers were right, the guy at the gas station wasn't right...nothing. years swelled up in my eyes and a brief memory of my mom came back.
It was me, coming home from school, I walked inside and could smell the pizza she was making. I see and her and asks me hey, how was your day?".
This memory helped calm me down from the wreck I was turning into. I took several deep breaths, tried my very best to compose myself, and stepped out of the stall. I ended up taking some paper towels and wiped away the tears that were caught in my eyes.
I decided that I will just try to finish this day because tomorrow everything would be back to normal...I have to reassure myself that I would be, I just knew it would be....it had to be.
I sat down back at my desk and my phone rang, picked it up and a voice came through. The voice of my mother asking " I am so glad you are here, Luke".
I was frozen, shocking, tingly sensations ran through my entire body. My demeaner instantly changed into fight or flight mode...but I chose the 3rd... freeze.
Phone still up to my ear, I heard her speak again. "Oh honey, Luke my sweet boy, don't you remember?".
I didn't reply verbally, but mentally I was thinking "remember...what the hell is...remember what?"
Then she spoke one last time, "last night, you saw the sun".
Then the memory of the night before races back into my mind. I was on my drive home from work, watching the beautiful sunset over the horizon. With all it's beautiful mixtures of orange, red, purple. I was so just staring at it...in a trance, thinking of how I wanted to go back and just be a kid again, play with my back door neighbor, come home to my mom. Why couldn't I just go back?
I suddenly hear a blaring car horn and then blackness.
I believe I died on April 15th, 2014. And I don't mind it. I like being in this black empty room just sitting in the corner..with nothing but warm emptiness to fill my cold shell. I like feeling the embraces of it's comfort over the tiring lifestyle I was living. My only dream was that I could dream forever...and now it's finally been achieved.
I miss my mother, and I know she misses me, the memories I have of her will keep me warm in this blackened wasteland forever.

My MIL told me "You got rid of yours! so how would you know !" (typo in title. wrote this on my phone)
Hi there this is my first post ever and Though this happened a few years a go I feel like i need to write this out for cathartic reasons . so apologies if this is confusing and goes back and forth .
Background : me (28 F) and my S/o , let call him John(29M), have been together 11 years this October, being some what high school sweet hearts we have gone through most and if not all of our major moments in our 20s and now entering our 30s . When we first got together i was fully aware John and His mother dont always get along. And thats putting in nicely . In reality they get in to Full screaming and cussing fits. These can be started from a simple discussion, think "what color is the sky?" and the most unhinged argument would start. MIL is a divorced, awful narcissist who gaslights John and mentally and emotionally abuses both John and his sister , my SIL , we will call her Kelly. My SIL Kelly is also just as bad and if not worse than my MIL in some ways . In the past i tried very desperately to get them to get a long and bury the hatchet , my MIL and SIL would loudly talk about how they loved me and appreciated me and my MIL started calling me her DIL almost 3 months in tot he relationship. (Probbaly Red Flag #12 but i was young and was brought up being told its the most important thing to have your S/O family like you and you do what ever your S/O family ask of you .) Now my SIL being possibly worse than my MIL would be her anger issues on top of her own narcissistic and gaslighting behavior modeled after her mother .SIL also has 3 children by 3 different men, never married and has protection orders agaisst all these men, and dragged all of them to and from court in the same fashion as MIL divorced John and Kelly Father .Also as she had the relationship end with her first Babby daddy we inherited her dog as she couldnt keep him and he is now OUR dog has he as lived with us for almost 8 years now, he is our dog as i pay for his food and all vet needs, he is 100% a house dog and lives happily with all of us and his dog sissters . Over time both MIL and SIL obviously became comfortable and thats when i started seeing their disturbing behavior towards John and his Grandma then later to myself . MIL and SIL have abused Grandma by using her as free child care (Gma is 80) and would berate her and use the Kids against her, if Gma did anything SIL didnt like . By using the kids i mean SIL would send long text messages telling Gma she the worst and worthless, bringing her to Tears and she is banned from seeing the children untill SIL decided shes no longer upset or had no other options . As of Current she is still banded from seeing her grandchildren and we have no idea what she needs to apologize for. Next we escalated to being screamed and kicked out of Christmas Dinner , my MIL stelaing $2,500 from Johns Saving account and stealing Gmas credit card info to use on Amazon orders to just show a few more examples.
Now back ground about story in question: Myself and John found i was pregnant when we were 19 at the time we decided to terminate the pregnancy as we both heavy believe in having children only when we are economically comfortable enough to do so and both agreeing that being so young this was not the time to do this. We both strictly believe in this as we have had many family members pop out children with out any though and that disturbs both of us. Then Going to Plan Parenthood i was told i had an ectopic pregnancy and they then was rushed me to the hospital to schedule my termination . Understand this was a very scary situation for myself as i was told one of my ovaries could be removed and due to the placement fluid was building up and stuck near my hip that caused my to start losing feeling in my leg , but the surgery was scheduled for the next day . Thankfully I had some Great doctors and both my own family and John overwhelmingly supported me during all of this and i didnt have to lose an ovaries . Yay! Now i am actually a pretty private person when it comes to my heath and due to feeling some misplaced embarrassment and shame i asked John to no speak to his mother about this i wanted to keep this between us . He agreed though obviously this was stressful and devastating to us at one point he did confide in his mom for support . At the time i was pretty furious at this but understood that as my family knew and gave us all the support we could ask for i understood he did long for his own mothers support . At the time she was extremally understanding and supportive and was everything John needed emotionally at the time and she respectfully gave me space and didnt bring up any questions. I deeply appreciated this at the time as it was what i needed.
Fast forward to the day in Question: 2020
It was a bad day for me , i was very sick dealing with ,at the time, an undiagnosed Gallbladder disorder that caused sever vomiting and abdominal pain that wasn't corrected untill late 2022, and i went home early with an hour dive back to the home myself and john share with his Gma. When i arrived home SIL and MIL with the kids were at the house just visiting . During this SIL keep speaking about OUR (Myself and Johns Dog ) still being hers. During a moment i was unable to hold my tongue and said something along the lines "well he isnt your dog thats why ." she then screams "YOU BITCH!" in our home in front of the kids . I then promptly and calmly told her " You can leave now . " she then continued to cuss me out but i had blocked most of that out as none of that needed to escalate or be said in front of the kids .At this Point john was also loudly telling both MIL and SIL the leave and they will not speak like that in the house . We were then told we couldnt tell them what to do as it was Gmas home and now ours . I looked and Gma and as she went to say something MIL started screaming at her telling her to "Shut up and mind her business" By this point the argument then escalated to a point of SIL taking the kids out of the house telling us we "are wothless and we could all fuck off ". MIL was still yelling and i couldnt tell you what but then as i loudly told MIL that their behavior was unacceptable and they needed to leave our hosue and SIL behavior infront of the kids was also Unacceptable in this home and since we all live under the same roof we have just as much say in the home as Gma. MIL then proceeded to say "How would you know how to take care of children !" you got rid if yours !' It took everything in my body to not jump over the living room sofa and beat the ever loving shit out of her. I did take a step forward and said "Do you want to repeat that ?" she looked at me in horror, not because of what she said but because she probably saw the rage in my eyes and i was not acting my "normal submissive self " with her so she was not prepared for my response . John then proceeded to tell her to "Get the Fuck out of this house ! How dare she and she was no longer welcome in the home. I couldnt really tell you what i was saying at that time or if i said anything at all after that as i was in a blind rage . She stormed out of the home and slammed our front door. funny part was they left the kids water bottles so she had to come back and knock on the door to get them back. I opened the door tossed them at her and slammed the door so hard in her face the entire front door area shook and almost dropped some frames off the wall.
I apologized to gma as i know i should of held my tonge when they were over but i just couldnt . She told me to not aologize and she is so ashamed of both MIL and SIL behavior and she didnt even know what to say or do to make me feel better. At this time i was unaware i was shaking violently and and tears just free flowing out of my eyes . Both Gma and John did everything they could to comfort me but nothing quiet helped. I think i just disassociated for the rest of the day or else i would if spiraled out of control. We went NC very quickly after this as John couldnt believe that came out of his mothers mouth and was just taken a back and devisated as i was . Gma was still baby sitting and told gma i would never tell her what to do but please dont speak of me over there or anything about my family or me and John. she agreed that was best and kept her promise. though Months later i found out i was still a topic of conversation at MIL and SIL home, about my behavior that day and my "unplanned and outrageous choice to get rid of my child ." Gma came home and explained what was going on to John when i over heard and then suddenly spiraled into a nervous break down . Johna nd Gma came over to calm me and she apologized as she wasnt trying to keep it from me but didnt want to upset me further so she believed telling John was a better what and have him speak to his mother about this but he was also spiraling . after a few days i sent MIL a 4 page educational Fuck you text message and link included so MIL and SIL could better educate themselves as i did not "just get rid of it" i had a medical emergency that could i had last effects on my life. She then responded with no apologies no remorse , just blamed Gma for speaking when she shouldn't and that i "owed her" for being taken to Disneyland (which was a fully planned family trip she invited me to and was upset that John didnt propose to me during trip at disney) and i also "owed " her for her taking me to a doctors appointment. I responded and told her that was the sadest text message i have ever read and that i was so sorry she was just sad narcissitic woman who cant live her life with out blaming the world an her mother for her problems. Going forward MIL and SIL were blocked via phone , and all social medias as i will not allow people like them in my life. John also went NC and he was aware i was sending the message and if he would like he could read it himeself . He politely declined and explained going NC was the best to do as he couldn't stand to look or speak to her anytime in the near future, and with the horrible comments made about me i was allowed to say what ever i wanted to her .
(now since 2020 , we did have an accidental pregnancy around 2022 near the end of covid. All the stress led us to also make the decision to terminate as i was mentally not healthy enough , covid still going on, john lost his job it was another instant where this is not feasible for us, this was a very hard choice for us that put us at the lowest of our relationship and i even had complications after the termination which put me on bed rest for a week. MIL has no knowledge of this as it is not at all her business)
Since the house argument we went NC has been heavily inforced, with the occasional reach out demanding to speak to her son and now her refereeing to Gma by her legal name. SIL forbid gma from seeing the grandkids but will ask John to come see the kids which 9/10 times he declines. It breaks our hearts to not be apart of the kids life's but there is no more fake smiling through their BS . They have stopped by the house less than a handful of times for brisk interactions with the kids . MIL and SIL will try to engage me in conversation but they dont get anything besides the occasional "uhuh " and "oh wow" comments . They reccently invited us to the kids soccer games but sometimes the thought sends me to full blown panic attacks nd melt downs even thinking of engaging with them . I do speak to a therapist about all this and other things in my life, i do suffer from extreme anxiety and depression but as me and John have been getting better financially we have had more relaxed conversations about having kids soon which has brough up a lot of anxiety for me again with some flash backs to mentioned fight with SIL and MIL . They do occasional wiggle back into our lives like this which at times i could care less and other times cant leave my bathroom due to fear. John and myself haven't had much conversation about my anxiety for it lately but if i tell him "No" having to deal with his mother and sister , he never argues , never makes me feel bad for not engaging. He has always been extremally supportive with any of my decisions i make which makes me love him more . I understand that was a lot and i could go on forever about the crazy shit MIL and SIL do with their sad life but i just needed to get this out there . sometimes i think no one agrees with me about their behavior and after losing 2 best friends to ODs and Toxic life styles i dont have really anywhere else to express this emotion or ask for a ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on that isnt my S/O .
Well thats the general story thank you for lasting this long and reading my story today . If you have any questions or comments im happy to reply if anyone has anything to say.

A soldier of a reptilian-analog race lays in his makeshift cot, in a M*A*S*H* tent not terribly far from the front lines. He's lost too much blood, from far too many extraneous holes in his body, and the veins have withdrawn to where doctors can't get an IV into him. They can't save him- they don't even have spare painkillers, so he can feel himself dying the whole while.
It's cold. So very, very cold. His eyes are swollen shut from a godawful mix of biochem weapons that the enemy loves spraying before a banzai charge. This was his first real battle, and it will be his last. He is alone, and he is absolutely terrified, being a young man barely the equivalent of eighteen by human reckoning. Panic starts to set in as he feels himself slipping further and further away. He fidgets and strains against the bedding he's half-swaddled into, emitting shrill noises of distress.
"No.. Not yet.. I don't wanna go yet.. Please..!" Begging to whatever or whoever might hear him, his one still functional arm reaches out and gropes blindly for anything, anyone. He can't stand it anymore. Despair has almost sent him into a full on tantrum when a soft, warm hand grabs his and clutches it tightly. A familiar hand.
"Mama's here, sweetie.. It's okay now. Shh.. Just lay back.. Here, drink this." A cup of something warm is brought to his lips. He immediately relaxes when he hears the voice, and carefully sips at the delicious herbal tea. The slightly savory, slightly fruity flavor and natural chemicals help further calm him. He gasps a bit after the cup is brought away, trying to force his eyes open to look at the familiar, loving voice.
Fatima 'Mama' Basu, one of the human auxiliaries that provided civilian services like treats and gaming to the soldiery. She shouldn't be here, she wasn't even a nurse. But he was glad she was, all the same.
"Mama.. I'm scared, Mama.." His grip on her hand tightened, the shivering growing worse even as he felt her place a heated blanket over him. The warmth was welcome, even if it was just putting ointment on a sucking chest wound.
Another hand began brushing itself over his forehead and the frill that stuck up in the middle, trying to calm his nerves. "I know, sweetie.. And I'm sorry.. Mama will stay right here until the end, I promise." The woman looks at the scales that are coming off of her son's head as she tries to provide gentle physical contact to ease his passing, knowing full well that it means he's close. Tears stream down her cheeks and fall onto his, eliciting a smile from the dying soldier.
"Thank.. Thank you.. Mama.. I just.. Didn't want.. To be.. Alone.." He feels a brief tinge of pain- and then intense relief. A morphine syrette. Where did she get that? It didn't matter. She put it right into a major artery. The pain relief was swift, as fast as his heart was beating. Breathing that had previously been severely labored began to slow and relax, his grip on her hand slowly going slack, and eventually completely limp.
Basu resisted the urge to burst into a full on fit as another one of her precious sons left her. There were still others that needed someone beside them, that needed a nice cup of tea or a decent minced pie or just someone to hold their hand before the lights shut off. She picked up her heavy purse, loaded to the brim with all the little comforts and carefully hidden drugs she could fit into it- almost twenty kilograms- and began looking around the disheveled excuse for a M*A*S*H* tent for the next soul in need.
A bear-like doctor who'd been triaging another patient finished his work and let out a frustrated sigh, looking up and trying not to scream. He saw Basu as she carefully walked around the tent, keeping out of the way of the other medical personnel. "Praise the Forgotten Wood. Mama! Over here!" The human perked up at being called out and scurried over quickly.
She looked down at the soldier the doctor had been treating, most of him was.. Gone. He was some kind of arthropod-analog whose species name she couldn't pronounce, but he was still one of her beloved sons- Srixxir, if she recalled his name correctly. One compound eye twisted itself to look up at her, gently reaching out toward her with a crooked arm that terminated in half as many bristle-haired fingers as it should have normally had. The doctor moved on to the next patient while Basu sat down beside the dying insectoid. She carefully took his hand, ignoring the pain of the bristle-hairs digging into her flesh. "Don't worry, sweetheart. Mama's here.."
"Mama.. Basu.." Srixxir buzzed out, his remaining eye twitching. "Could I.. Could I trouble you for.. One last bite.. Of a.." He didn't even have time to finish making his request before she had one of her minced pies near his triangular mandibles, which began picking at the treat. His absolute favorite food, because she laced his with the nuts from his homeworld that he so loved. Almost as much as he loved this human who followed their army around, providing them with comforts and kindness no matter the danger to herself.
"Tas...t...y..." There was an involuntary shudder, forcing pieces of Srixxir's internal anatomy out through the various holes in his midsection, and he began gasping and choking on his own blood, before his body locked up and went still.
Basu flinched as the bristle hairs bit deep into her skin and carefully unwrapped her hand from Srixxir's rapidly cooling corpse. She'd barely finished putting some liquid stitch on her hand when suddenly a body tackled her to the floor, "MAMA, GET DOWN!" Only then did she notice the whistling sound that was rapidly getting c loser, and she clung to the body that was covering hers. The ground shook and quaked when the artillery shell landed, but when she opened her eyes, everything looked to still be intact.
A pseudo-vulpine with almost absurdly long ears looked down at her with a bit of a grin. "It's okay, Mama. We won't let anything happen to you." He wasn't too badly injured, one of the walking wounded, and he helped her to her feet once the danger had passed.
She ran a hand along the dirty, bloodstained fur of his cheek, smiling back at him, and then proceeded to straighten out his uniform a bit. He might be a junior officer, but he was still an officer, and it wouldn't be proper if he didn't look the part. "Thank you, Krybel. Here.. I made a pork cutlet hand pie, just for you."
The vulpine's eyes gleamed as he resisted the urge to tear into it like a starving pup . After three weeks of shit MREs, one of Basu's hand pies was like a gift from the Gods themselves. He savored every last crumb of it while watching her walk off, looking for the next soul in need.
"Mama.. Mama, where are you??" Came another frightened voice that was starting to crack, making Basu turn toward it on reflex, heart breaking all over again. She hefted up her purse and adjusted the strap.
"Mama's coming, dear, I'll be right there!" She patted Krybel's cheek again, "Take care of yourself sweetie, will you? I'll see you later." And then she began trotting off, moving on to provide the care that only she could.
A senior officer frowned while watching as Basu wandered around his M*A*S*H* unit, providing palliative care. "Lieutenant." He said with a bit of a growl in his voice, looking at Krybel. "Pray tell, who authorized a civilian in my thrice-damned abattoir? Why has she not been removed? Why are you eating one of those damned.. ..delicious..." the officer took a moment to wipe a little drool from his mouth, "...pies?"
Krybel looked up at the officer- a major, probably in charge of the whole camp- and cooly regarded him. "With all due respect to your rank, Major, sir- we want her here and I'm sure that the medical staff has cleared her. Though even if they haven't, I'm going to warn you now, sir- if you even think about trying to take away Mama Basu, you'll be the next one who needs her attention." His face suddenly went from soft and fluffy- if dirty- and went to the hard, stony glare of a predator. "We need her. Allow me to offer the suggestion of, instead of worrying about her, you could focus on something slightly more important. Supply forms, maybe."
The major frowned at this not so subtle threat, but he couldn't lie- at least with her around, there was a little less screaming, so that palliative care was definitely not a waste. And you know, supply forms didn't sound like such a tedious task at the moment.. It was going to be such a long day.

I'm sure this has been discussed in the past, but I'm curious as to current players' opinions. I'm a relatively new player, 300 hours, did a bit of everything except AX and on-foot missions, Competent/PioneeElite, pretty familiar with the unique mix this game has of incredible ideas and poor implementations.
After all this time playing, what I find the most disappointing is the similarity of flying experiences between ships. They all look fine, differently designed, large, medium and small, but when switching ships you find yourself basically inside the same cockpit. Sure, some are off-center, some have an additional strut somewhere, some have a different canopy surface, but generally it's like sitting in the same ship with a different turn-rate multiplier and a few differences in speed and handling.
When you exit a Cessna 172 cockpit and enter an Airbus 320, you immediately know you're inside a very different beast. Even without looking at the instruments, peek outside you can see the runway way off under the aircraft. Move into a Beechcraft Baron and again, it's a totally different design philosophy. You know you're somewhere else, instantly.
In ED, you can move from a Sidewinder to a Type-9 and — visually and functionally — they are identical. Lights, sensors, indicators, message displays, there isn't the slightest difference. Cargo scoop deployment and messaging, target displays, throttle indicators, cockpit voices, sounds (except the engines), all identical. You don't have to learn anything special about a new ship's operation, yours eyes don't register any different placement of instruments or special procedures unique to that ship.
I feel this is very immersion-breaking and takes away much of the curiosity of trying new ships, compared to what happens in any decent flight simulation (or in real-life). The idea that the same identical HUD is installed in every ship is weird, considering that the game builds upon the idea of different ship manufacturers with radically different designs. It's probably a budget-centric decision on the part of FD, but it's a real shame in my opinion.
I don't ever really switch from an Asp Explorer to a Python, I am merely reconfiguring some of the cockpit's attributes. Sure, you notice more easily when you're in an Anaconda, but it's hard to imagine a ship of that size having the same controls as an Adder. And, unless you use third-party tools, the whole of humanity — which fights endlessly over every god-forsaken settlement in the galaxy — seems to have agreed that orange is the only viable option.
Maybe it's a different feeling in VR, I don't know. But as I see it, this is one of the biggest of the many missed opportunities in this game.