I should not be writing this. I know they will be looking for me as soon as this goes live. I had to get the word out despite all the secrecy surrounding the project. I don't know what they'll do to me when they find me, but this has to get out.
I was unemployed vet tech looking for work when I came across a job listing offering a strangely large amount of money. What did I have to loose? I called the number and they gave me a website to go to that took me through an application process and a security clearance form that I had to fill out the last seven years of my life. They said it would be months until the clearance would come through but to my surprise a month later I got a phone call telling me I had been granted Interm Secret clearance and the job would proceed.
I had to go to a building without any name on it downtown and they took my photo for an ID card and a packet of information about where I was to go to the next day.
The next morning I drove to the address with a mix of excitement and apprehension. What about this job required a security clearance? Why had I gotten my interm secret so quickly? I figured I'd soon find out when I pulled up to a gate with a card reader. I swiped my ID and the razor wire topped gate slid open so I could pass. Yeah nothing ominous about that. I drove a mile or so down the road and parked in the parking lot in front of a building that looked like the set of a prison movie. The windows were narrow slits and I could tell from a distance that the door was very heavy duty. Thinking back a few minutes ago wasn't the top of that razor wire fence angled in as if to keep something in rather than people out?
I got out and approached the heavy door. I spotted the card reader and used my ID on it and it flashed green and there was a loud clunking sound from the door as it unlocked. I had to put some muscle behind it to get it to open and then it shut behind me followed by another loud clunk as the locks reengaged.
I turned to see a thick armored window with a guard staring me down.
"First day huh?" he asked me as he looked at his screen.
"Yeah," I said a bit nervously.
"Sit tight, your department head will be coming to pick you up and take you to your in-brief," he said.
"What uh, what is this place?" I asked.
"All that will be answered by the briefing so have a seat and relax. You're likely in the safest spot in the facility," he said.
I looked at the inner door and noticed it was just as thick and heavy as the outer one. I was essentially sitting in an armored booth so he was technically right about it being safe.
When my boss arrived he was wearing scrubs and had his ID card clipped to the bottom of the V of the top.
"So, you're my new tech?" he asked.
"Yes, Sir," I replied.
"Good, hopefully you follow instructions better than the last one," he said. "I'm Dr. Tanner. You can call me 'Sir' or 'Doctor'."
"Sir, can you tell me what I'll be doing here?" I asked.
"All in due time. First you need to complete the safety briefing. It is not a joke. Take a look at the windows and doors if you need convincing. The government doesn't spend this kind of money unless it's very necessary, and it is. You'll understand the need for it when I introduce you to our charges. I'm not going to tell you yet because I enjoy the look on people's faces when they get their first peak of what we're doing here," he said. "Now, for the safety briefing. Follow me."
He began to open the inner door when he stopped and looked back at me. "Do you have any electronic devices on you?"
"No Sir, the security documents instructed me to leave my phone and anything with a digital memory in the car," I said.
"Excellent, you're already demonstrating that you can follow directions," he said. Was that a hint of a smile I saw?
He lead me down the hallway to a room on the left and used his card to unlock and open the door. After I walked inside what appeared to be a conference room he followed me inside and let the door shut.
I immediately noticed the back of the door wasn't the usual thing one would expect to see. It had a big lever in the middle that looked like it operated bolts to secure the door shut. I started to wonder what the hell I had gotten myself into. I expected to be working with maybe the facility's guard dogs. This kind of security was on a level I hadn't experienced before.
"Good, you're observant, another plus," the doctor said.
He walked over to the table and picked up a recorder and pressed play. A trilling alarm sound came for it and he let it play for a few seconds before cutting it off.
"If you hear that sound along with flashing red lights you are to go to the nearest safe room, such as this one and use this lever to bolt the door," He walked over and pressed a button by the windows and the thick glass became opaque.
"And you are to opaque the windows with the control in the room so nothing can see in," he said and then pointed to a door on the other wall that had 'Emergency Supplies' written on it. "There you will find food, water, and other necessities if you happen to be locked down for an extended period of time. There is also a radio already set to the control room frequency. If the phone is not working pull the tab on the back of the radio so the battery makes contact and reports in with the information posted on the back of the door. That's basically who you are, where you are, and if there are any threats you know of near you. Otherwise sit tight unless told otherwise."
"Threats?" I asked.
"Our charges are out of containment or an external threat," the doctor replied.
"What's so dangerous that we need bunker rooms like this?" I asked.
"All in due time," he replied. "Have you ever used a tranquilizer gun?"
"No," I responded.
"No matter, you'd need to qualify on the two types we use anyway with the security team," he said.
"Why do we need tranquilizer guns?" I asked.
"The animals we work with are dangerous. They're sedated before they get to us and one of our tasks is to make sure they stay sedated until they're returned to the enclosure. If one wakes up and slips a restraint you are not going to want to go near it to give an injection. That's why we have tranq guns," The doctor said.
"That makes perfect sense to me," I said. My curiosity was burning wondering what we were working with. Had to be something like large predators to require this much security. A grizzly would be a plausible reason why the doors had the extra bars. The force they could produce could snap the usual latches.
"Good because it's time for my favorite part. Showing the new guy what we work with," the doctor said and led the way deeper into the facility and up a set of stars to a room labeled 'observation deck'.
"The windows are to remain frosted by the electronic controls there whenever the room is not in use. They cannot see in but they seem to know someone is watching them and it upsets them. It's best for everyone if they are not upset," He reached over and pressed the button and the electronic frosting cleared.
That's the moment where my brain completely derailed and I questioned my own sanity.
"W-Werewolves?" I asked.
"No, at least not at this facility. These are a lesser known cryptid called Dogmen, kind of like Bigfoot."
"Wait, is Bigfoot real?" I asked.
"Yes, but not nearly as widespread as 'sightings' would make you think," he said.
"If these exist, what else is real?" I asked him.
"That's beyond your need to know," he said sternly, but then his face softened. "I'll lend you a book later that contains everything we've confirmed and studied. After all, if you continue with this job you will have the opportunity to work with them in the future, and it's best you know what you're getting into," he said. "One benefit they probably haven't gotten around to telling you yet is that they will pay for your education. You can become a full veterinarian working with the most interesting creatures that exist," he said. "Not a bad gig, huh?"
"Except for the part where I'm working with large dangerous creatures," I said.
"Large, intelligent, dangerous creatures," he replied. "And that is why we have procedures and rules. Things like always having more sedative staged to inject if a patient starts to wake up, having them restrained at all times, and if they do wake up you have the tranq guns to put them back under without risking yourself," he said and tapped the control to frost over the glass again.
Our next stop was back in the conference room where there were now a couple of binders.
"Now for the boring part. Study these because you'll have to pass a test on them later. It's those procedures I mentioned. It covers everything from handling the animals, dosages we use, and why we can't leave after dark."
"Wait, we can't leave after dark?" I asked, a bit alarmed.
"There are dogmen in the woods surrounding this facility. The fence does a decent job of keeping them out but they do get in and they're not happy we have some of their kind captive. They're fairly shy during the day and become active at night so it's for your own safety that once the sun sets you stay here. We have secure rooms just for the occasion, and scrubs are not short in supply if you need a change of clothing. We have a mess hall staffed 24/7 by some excellent cooks. People who can do this job are rare so they take care of us. Now get to reading, you'll have to pass a test before you're allowed to work. I'll come pick you up for lunch."
I did as he said and spent the next few hours reading with a break for the promised lunch that was beef stroganoff and actually really good. I went for seconds. Then it was back to memorizing policy and procedures till I was finally done and managed a passing score on the test. That was followed by some time at an indoor range getting qualified on the tranq guns.
The doctor reviewed my test and nodded. "Excellent, you're a fast learner. We've rescheduled some things for tomorrow so we'll have the extra help. You head home and get a good night's rest. I'll see you in the morning in the veterinary section, just follow the signs it's easy to find," the doctor said.
I did as he said and drove home. I couldn't help but be a good deal more vigilant as I looked at the woods on the way out. Dogmen were out there and no one in the area except us knew. There were the cryptid hunters but they didn't know for sure like I did from seeing a pack close up.
Needless to say I didn't get a whole lot of sleep that night. My mind was racing with the possibilities of what was real from all of the stories.
In the morning I made breakfast and sat for a bit having to give myself a reality check that yesterday wasn't just a dream, so I finally picked up my keys and headed out. I drove down the lonely road and passed through the gate without incident. I parked my car and made my way through the security checkpoints and began following the signs to the Veterinarian department. As the doctor had said, it wasn't difficult to find.
There were three entrances all like airlocks that were long enough for a gurney. It didn't take long to figure out the purpose. If you had dangerous animals inside you wanted at least one door containment so they couldn't get past you and into the larger facility.
I went inside through the airlock like doors one at a time and found myself in a very familiar veterinary clinic though one that was very well stocked.
It was then that I met my other coworker, I'll call him Mike, who was sitting on a stool reading a magazine.
"Hey, you must be the new guy. I'm Mike," he said and I introduced myself.
"So, your first big day. You excited, or terrified?" Mike asked.
"A bit of both," I said honestly.
"Relax, by the time they get to us they've been pumped with enough drugs to drop an elephant. We take samples and the guards take them back out. Then we run the usual tests like any other animal. It's easy money," Mike said. "We're never in any danger."
"What about all of the procedures?" I asked.
"There's what's written down on paper and then there's what is practical and works. If we followed the checklist for every dogman that's brought in here it would just take us twice as long, and twice as long that it can wake up," Mike said. "So relax, I'll show you what you really have to do to streamline things."
What was I to say? He'd obviously been doing this for a long time and if his system worked who was I to question it?
Our first patient of the day made me the most nervous. The security team wheeled in a restrained female on a gurney right into the middle of our space then they backed out. Being the new guy I did the basics by checking heart rate, breathing, and looking into the eyes to make sure she was out cold. Everything was normal based on the numbers I had memorized.
Mike watched me, corrected my stethoscope placement a little and started drawing blood as soon as I was done. The moment he was done he buzzed the guards to take her back out while he labeled the samples.
"Less time they're in here the better so label your samples and fill out the papers once they're taken out," Mike said. "No need to have a dangerous animal laying around while we fill out forms."
"What about the extra sedative we're supposed to have ready?" I asked.
"The tranq guns are right there. Much safer to back off out of reach and just shoot them with another dose," Mike said. I couldn't fault his logic.
We had four more patients that day all went as smoothly as the first and I was beginning to relax. It was our last patient of the day when things went wrong.
It started normally with the guards rolling the male into our space and I took vitals and checked the eyes.
"Hey, I have some dilation here. I don't think he's under enough. Where's the sedative?" I asked.
"Don't worry about it. I'll be done before he realizes what happened," Mike said and undid one of the restraints a little so he could get to the vein. It was at that point things went horribly wrong. As soon as Mike inserted the needle the male woke up and jabbed it's hand upward catching Mike in the throat and spraying blood everywhere. I moved forward out of instinct to try and tighten the restraint when I felt a searing pain across my face and my right eye went red.
I stumbled back. Oh God had I lost my eye? I shook myself out of it long enough to badge through a door and throw the bolts before pressing the intercom button. "Creature out of containment in veterinary. I think Mike is dead. I'm hurt and need a medic!" I said before blacking out.
I don't know how long it was but when I woke up I was in a hospital room and the Veterinarian was sitting beside my bed.
"You're safe, you're in a hospital and just out of cosmetic surgery. You'll have some scars but it'll look like the result of a big cat. Your eye is fine."
"Mike?" I asked.
"Dead before any help would get to him. We have video of the whole thing including you questioning him multiple times on matters of procedure. Don't let someone senior intimidate you into not being safe. You have a month's paid leave to recuperate." he said.
So here I am. I need some advice. Should I go back to work after my leave is done or turn in my resignation? It won't take them much to figure out who I am if they find this post. I also don't know what they'll do to me if they do.

TL;DR It's a fun, novel handheld for people who want a completely unique, ultra-portable experience and don't like phone games. It comes with a fantastic community that keeps me coming back. Y’all are awesome!
————
Howdy! Here's my lengthy Playdate review after my first two weeks, including some observations I don't think I've seen anyone mention yet. I hope this helps someone decide if this quirky little thing is worth it.
Why I wanted a Playdate: I'm a casual gamer. I love my Switch (Stardew, Tower Fall, A Short Hike, It Takes Two, Smash Bros, etc) and hate my Xbox (purely Rocket League). I play mostly at home because, frankly, the Switch isn't portable enough as I can't throw it in my pocket and I ain't about to carry a bag around in case I want to check on my farm. Phone games never appealed to me as I just don't enjoy touch screens for interactive entertainment, plus ads can go eat dirt. I learned about the Playdate when it was first announced, but I'm cautious of completely new devices as we live in a world of cool ideas that get abandoned (my poor Pebble). But after preorders started arriving and the developer community continued growing, I realized the Playdate's development, evolution, and relevance won't depend on one company, but a whole involved group of people who all want this thing to succeed. So, I went for it.
The physical console: My immediate thought after unboxing was, this plastic is a little... gritty? Not cheap-feeling, but I was expecting a soft-touch plastic. The Playdate surface almost felt like a very fine fingernail file, but I got used to it quickly. Everything else about the build is flawless. It's solid, easy to throw in your pocket or backpack, and I can't stop picking it up. The crank is perfectly tuned, it takes no effort to turn but stays static when you don't touch it. The crank sensor is extremely precise. And the speaker on this thing genuinely surprised me, I’d say it rivals smartphone speakers.
The OS: Super clean, concise operating system, it solely exists to get you to your games. You have your home page to scroll through your library, Settings with 0 fluff, and the Catalog app (with the best shopping mart music). One gripe about Catalog is I wish it had a simple search or just “View all” option rather than sifting through collections. Of course you can search on a computephone but I would enjoy slightly more robust navigation on the Playdate itself.
The Screen: When the lighting is right, this screen looks amazing. It’s crisp and snappy. Very reminiscent of Pebble. BUT it would still be nice to have a backlight. It isn’t papematte like a Kindle screen, it’s reflective and really weird with light angles. For example, I’ve played on my covered balcony with full sunlight around me, but the dark ceiling of my balcony made it hard to see even with sunlight all around. I had to angle the screen toward the sky to get a better reflection.
The games: I’ve only scratched the surface of what this platform has to offer, but I’ll share my early thoughts. I’ve contained my urge to buy everything at once, sticking with 1-2 Catalog/Itch games a week to give each game a fair chance. Although I love the arcade games with precise crank controls, I’m eager to see more narrative options as the Playdate has certainly opened the door for the writers who want to make their brilliant storylines interactive. * Whitewater Wipeout: While it is fun, this is oddly one of my least favorite games so far. Even after dozens of attempts, the cranking direction vs what you see on screen just doesn’t feel right. * Casual Birder: Very cute, relaxing game. Feels very Stardew-adjacent with witty dialogue and a rewarding plot. I wish the story was a bit longer, it just sorta ends. I was enjoying the journey so much that the sudden conclusion made me sad that it was over so quickly. * Crankin’s Time Travel Adventure: This is exactly the kinda game you can only get with the Playdate. The controls are tight and the audio effects are hilarious and immersive. My only gripe (which feels like I’m overlooking something) is that you can’t replay levels you’ve already completed. I want to hand the game to my friends but I don’t want to start them on the difficult levels I’m on. * Boogie Loops: This one feels a bit over my head, or perhaps I just haven’t given it a fair shot. Everyone should have their own opinion but this doesn’t feel like something that you’d buy a Playdate for. I’m sure I’ve missed something but I just haven’t found much entertainment from it.
Now for a few Catalog games. * Root Bear: Phenomenal. Games like this are largely why I wanted the Playdate. It’s quirky, unique, utilizes the crank very precisely, and has tons of replayability. $103 so far! * A Balanced Brew: Sensational. Another great example of precise cranking. The visuals are striking and the evermore-challenging stages never feel repetitive. Flawless physics. * Recommendation Dog: At first I wasn’t all that enthused, but after a couple tries this is now one of my favorites. Such a fun use of the crank and hilarious details throughout the Rolodex. * A Joke That’s Worth .99¢: I hear that song in my nightmares now. Such a silly, Souls-difficulty game. Beautifully miserable, disgustingly replayable, just a true scourge that I can’t stop playing. 0/10 but maybe 12/10 depending on if I ever hear the damn punchline.
Itch.io has endless options, here are a few notable ones. * super corporate tax evader: Fun little game, cute crank feature. But I lost interest after a few plays, it’s pretty limited in content and I feel like it’s fairly easy to get high scores once you figure it out. I hope it updates with more content and more challenging situations, because it’s a smart little game. * Binairo: This is an example of a game you can easily get on your phone, but it’s just more tangible and fun on this little black and white screen. I’ve spent a lot of time solving these deceptively simple puzzles. * Maze: Fantastic ball balance game. The accelerometer in the Playdate is astonishingly sensitive, which makes this an awesome challenge. It even works upright which is weirdly intuitive. * Memory Lane: Basic card matching memory game, but the aesthetics and simplicity are very nice. Again, more enjoyable on Playdate than a phone screen.
I’m still trying a few more but haven’t played them enough to have a full impression: Post Hero, Reel Steal, Simorgh, About Time.
I hope this is informative for someone! I’ll probably check in with a smaller update in a few more weeks or after Season 1.

Hi guys, I am in a dilemma right now.
Long story ahead:
My circle of friends in college (three men and one woman, including me) decided to start a business, or as we call it, a partnership. All of us have different experiences but share the same knowledge and expertise.
Our smart friend Male1 (who also pitched the idea) wants to specialize in bookkeeping. He is great with accounting and numbers and also has a marketing background.
I also have knowledge in bookkeeping and accounting, but most of my career has been spent in digital marketing (SEO, SMM, ADS).
Male2, who is my love interest, has great experience in business operations because he was an assistant store manager for two years. Though he lacks interest in bookkeeping, he can do Ads.
Male3, for now, is a bit irrelevant to the business because he lacks skills, but he handles other errands for the partners.
From our agreement, we will have equal shares because we each contribute our expertise to growing the company.
I am willing to handle bookkeeping if Male1 is unable to do so or is too busy.
Here is the conflict:
Before the idea was pitched, I was working as a freelancer offering digital marketing services. A year ago, I was planning to start my own brand or agency to help a friend who badly needed money.
Last week, we pitched to a client who asked for bookkeeping and marketing help, which I agreed to provide. Since our company only offers bookkeeping, I assumed the marketing tasks would fall under my freelancing business. I need the money urgently for my education and to help my friend.
Male1 didn't take this well. His reasons are:

1. He is fully committed to our business and felt betrayed that I am building something outside of it.
   
2. He is upset because we have equal shares, but my efforts and focus will be divided.
   
3. He planned for our business to offer marketing services in future expansions.
   
4. He thinks it would be unfair to the partnership if I used its resources to pitch my freelance clients.
   

Male2 suggested buying my freelancing business and incorporating it under our business name. I agreed but with the demand that 90% of the income from that business would go to me for expenses (salaries, etc.) since I am the only one managing the marketing clients. The remaining 10% would go to the other partners.
Male1 said it would be difficult to record this in the books and hard to claim as a subsidiary. He suggested either my shares be diluted to 10% or I receive a commission every time I pitch a client for bookkeeping through my marketing efforts, which Male2 said would be unfair to me.
I have an idea that we could create a different entity associated with the partnership, with the income still split 90-10.
I don't understand why Male1 wants me to be restricted to the partnership alone. I need funds and have promised to prioritize getting clients. I'm stressed out, to be honest.
We’re only starting up and are not yet legalized.
What are your thoughts or advice?

I have a business that mines offshore gold in Nome, Alaska. It's a well-established industry that you can find information about on the official State of Alaska website https://dnr.alaska.gov/mlw/mining/nome/ or just by searching "Alaska offshore mining."
This isn't a group of wide-eyed and bushy-tailed fools that don't know what they're doing, just hoping to get lucky. The crew is made of knowledgeable, experienced people. On the crew there is 20 years experience in excavation, 10 years operating heavy-haul companies with 500,000 pound road capacities, experience repairing and rebuilding a wide array of commercial machinery and engines, hydraulic repair, structural welding, precision machining, heavy equipment operation, and more. They have the know-how to operate, build, and repair the equipment needed to run this business. They, and the process we're using, have both been vetted by industry experts.
We aren't "prospecting" or "searching," hoping to accidentally discover gold. This is more like recovery - tens of millions of dollars have been spent surveying, sampling, studying, and cataloging the 2-3 million ounces of gold estimated to be in this deposit. It has been proven to be there, we just need to go get it, and we have the research and data that tells us where it is.
We'll run a 120-foot utility supply ship as the mining platform. On the vessel is a 55-ton excavator with a teledipper arm and 3-cubic yard clamshell bucket, a feeder hopper, conveyor system, a shaker and sluice box. We also have access to the leases that cover more than half the mineable area of 29,500 acres - all the things you would expect to see if you're someone who knows the business. Through multiple tests, we've recovered 96%-100% of the material sent through the system. Here is a video that the crew made while building the boat last year containing a demo of the entire process, plus a tour of the boat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seOPpCgB1Xc
We've overcome many hurdles to get where we are, including raising over $1,000,000 across a large number of regular, ordinary people solely through word-of-mouth to family and friends of friends, based upon trust in our team. Once we get started I expect to be self-sustaining and to no longer need outside investment. However, we've made a promise to the people who have helped us get started - all of whom we've come to know on a personal basis. We'll continue to sell placer gold to our first-year investors at a discount rate year-after-year as a way of thanking them for believing in us and taking a chance on us before we had proven ourselves.
We're ready to go, except for some last-minute operational funds for things like fuel, groceries, payroll, etc., that we're having trouble raising, probably due to current economic conditions. The longer it takes to get funding the more mining time we're missing out on, so we're desperate to get started as quickly as possible. That desperation has lead us here: Gold has been floating around $2300-$2400 per ounce. We're offering to sell the gold we mine at $1800 per ounce or less, depending upon how much you're offering to buy and how quickly you can get payment to us. An equity position is also possible. The payment is made up front to get us started, and we expect to deliver your physical placer gold early next year, after the mining season is over and the gold has been returned from the smelter.
Please reach out to me if you want to learn more. We're looking to move very fast.

Welcome to Random Acts of Pet Food!

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How to make a Request

• Make sure your request post has a title that starts with: [Request]. Please note, square brackets [], not parentheses () and not the curly brackets {} either.
• Include your city, state/province and country if not USA. Example: [Request] NYC, NY - Looking for crickets for my lizards.
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This is by far my favorite album from Billie and is slowly becoming my favorite album of the year. I've been through the album many times now and want to share my interpretation of the entire work as I firmly believe it is intentionally cohesive and structured to have an overarching narrative.
Overall, this album is of course about a relationship Billie was in. I do think she wrote these songs about multiple different people but structured it to be cohesive. Each song throughout the album is a step along this journey and either is parallel to, or in direct reference of, the stages of the relationship and her feelings throughout. She leverages a number of metaphors and thematic imagery that's mentioned multiple times throughout the album
SKINNY
On its surface, SKINNY is about her fans, the public and the media and their lack of awareness of her actual mental state (ie they think skinny = happy) . In addition, I view this as her introducing the narrative. This is current Billie reflecting on the relationship and her experiences and setting up the story to "feed the hungry internet". She asks persistently "do you still cry?" knowing that she herself does even after everything she did for this person and "not doing them wrong".
This song sets up 2 important thematic elements first is The Bird/Cage/Trap. While it varies from positive to negative, but ultimately, the theme is a sense of being trapped in the relationship, for better or for worse. I do think that is also is tied to this relationship being with another women and Billie's sexuality. It has a parallel theme to The door which i will discuss later.
The other theme is String Motif which is what ill call the melody and string orchestra that plays at the end of this song. In my opinion, this melody represents the relationship itself and is used 2 other times throughout the album for different purposes. This is personally my favorite thematic element as its beautiful and pays off mid-way through the album.
LUNCH
Lunch is fun, flirty and explicit first step in the relationship. Its Billie and her love interest kicking things off intense and obviously full of passion. In the broader context of the album its the "honeymoon" phase, full of heightened emotions and fun. This may be a stretch, but i do find it fascinating putting a song called LUNCH after a song called SKINNY and i think its a metaphor for her relationship fulfillment and happiness in the moment.
CHIHIRO
Personal favorite on the album. There is a ton of imagery and parallels to spirited away in this song of course that i think Genius and other lyric websites do a decent job of breaking down. I'm going to focus on the context of the album.
CHIHIRO is Billie dealing with some of the likely obvious red flags she noticed immediately as things become more serious. Its Billie trying to reconcile the "fling" that's occurring and it being a potential serious relationship that she needs to invest emotionally in. She has reservations considering the lack of response or commitment from the other person and the theme of space/rest/freedom ("I need to be along, take a break", "cant cope with anymore") as opposed to Billie's lack of sleep / closeness / commitment ("waiting in the garden", "come back around" etc.) (which comes up a few times in the album).
However, Billie ultimately aligns on committing, trusting they'd "show [her] whats in store". This is also the song that introduces The door. This theme, I typically associate with the bird change / trap (which is also mentioned in this song). It represents opening up about their feelings, letting the feelings "out". and letting Billie in. This may be a stretch, but I do wonder if its associated with the other person not feeling comfortable "coming out" in the sense of their sexuality either.
BIRDS OF A FEATHER
Billie is now happy to "stay in the cage" with the person, calling back to the Bird/Cage/Trap theme. Birds of a feather sticking together. The lyric "I dont know why im crying" i think is referring to CHIHIRO, basically "i dont know what I was so worried about this is great" but also she still feels an uneasiness about the whole thing. Billie is willing to spend her whole life (till the day she dies) with this person (or in other words the love of her life).... so she says. Despite the rose colored glasses, Billie starts to sense the cracks in the 2nd verse. "Say you dont see it....Say you wanna quit". Billie is all in at this stage giving everything she's got to try to make this work and just hoping their lack of commitment is "a bit" or them "being stupid". For now, Billie is in love and thats all that matters.
When i first heard this song i kinda thought it was a bit too "cliche" for Billie. However, in this context it feels like shes grasping at straws, trying to find the good, looking past the issues and saying shes in love. It makes future songs like L'AMOUR DE MA VIE hit harder since its basically calling her feelings in this song a lie.
WILDFLOWER
This takes a bit of a detour in my opinion. I think this is more about a previous relationship (though thats of course speculative). I dont want to discuss real people because i dont think it matters. This is a song about her supporting a women through a break up and ultimately dating her ex and the guilt / issues that come along with that. I think narratively, shes looking back on other issues in her past relationships, mistakes she made and ultimately her not speaking up when her feelings were hurt. I have a theory that the women she is supporting is who this album is about (ie she ended up dating both of them which makes these lyrics hit even harder) but thats just speculative.
THE GREATEST
This is a pivot point on the album. Its when Billie "snaps out of it" so to speak and realizes how much she is putting in but how little she is getting out. She expresses this in many different ways, begging for passion and waiting for something to change. Right off the hop Billie mentions again the rest / staying up all night theme of her committing while her partner is allowed space / comfort / coming and going. While it was a simple worry originally in CHIHIRO, it is now officially a problem weighing on her. "Man am i the greatest" is notably sarcastic but also has some truth to it. Its a reflection of regret/shame in terms of just how much time and energy she's put in despite getting nothing ("doing whats best without a reward" "All my love and patience", "...time I waited" etc etc). While not explicitly stated, this is making reference to the Open Door / Trap theme. They never let Billie in / let their emotions out and Billie ended up feeling alone because of it.
This song ends with The String Motif, the same one played at the end of SKINNY. However, this time she is belting it "I loved you, and I still do...Just wanted passion/what i gave you". While its related to the other lyrics, I feel this as "current" Billie screaming through, telling the story that connects us back to SKINNY (and hint hint ultimately to BLUE). This moment is so powerful because it symbolizes her change in perspective but just how much it still weighs on her and upsets her. Its a very important moment in this relationship/album and how she cope's / deals with it. Its probably my favorite moment on the whole album.
L'AMOUR DE MA VIE
I feel like this song is YIN to BIRDS OF A FEATHERs YANG. Basically, she admits that all these feelings were bullshit because she knew there were problems from the beginning. Shes over all of the excuses the person was giving for not committing, opening up etc. They said they "cared" a lot and would be destroyed if she left but they moved on right away. I think its a little over the top like BIRDS OF A FEATHER was but in the opposite direction. She's coping with the hardship she faced and described in THE GREATEST. The back half of this song I just think is her anger coming out about how little time it took for the person to move on, she flings dissses (you were so mediocre) and proclaims, "Its over now".
THE DINER
Im curious what other's think. Obviously on its surface this is about her stalkers and how conniving it is however i do think its connected to the narrative. She mentions trying to save the person which is a theme thats brought up again later. The way i felt is that this is her obsessing over the relationship they moved onto in L'AMOUR DE MA VIE. Shes stalking them trying to figure out what she was missing and how she couldve made it work.
BITTERSUITE
This is a reflection on many dream sequences Billie has about the relationship. Shes not over it, shes on tour overseas now but is still obsessed with it its ("underneath all of her beliefs"). She imagines that she is now desired by the person (the thing that she desperately wanted in THE GREATEST). She admits she hasnt been able to fill the void left since they broke up. She also brings up the theme of not sleeping (despite the dreams). At the end of this song she also brings references back to L'amour dema vie" and "Open up the door for me". Shes dreaming and hoping and fantasizing about how it was, what it could have been and what she wanted. By the end of it she seems to be getting what she wanted... but its unfortunately just a dream. Of course this transitions into BLUE with the same melody at the end and BLUE has coming.
BLUE
Blue closes things off and explicitly connects all of the major themes in the album. She makes direct references to several other songs "Birds of a feather", told you a lie desole (L'amour dema vie), dont know whats in store / open the door (CHIHIRO), in the back of my mind (WILDFLOWER) im still over seas (BITTERSUITE), a bird in a cage (SKINNY). This is her reflecting, accepting and trying to get over it but having difficulty.
The transition in the music and ultimately the lyrics is to her gaining understanding and acceptance for the other person. She's able to cope with the relationship falling apart because of what the other person went through. This provides a different meaning to BLUE. While at first it was her being sad, now its her now ex-partner growing up BLUE (likely not accepted by her parents or a difficult childhood). Billie proclaims "i dont blame you, but i cant change you, dont hate, but we cant save you). This is a form of acceptance but also a reference to THE DINER about trying to save the person, though now its acceptance instead of an attack / blame. "Too afraid to step outside" is in reference to the cage, the trap or stepping through the open door. Billie realize she also had fear and could have done more.
Finally, the final String motif playing the same melody as in SKINNY and THE GREATEST, this wraps the entire album sonically and thematically. It showcases the acceptance but the weight it still has and ultimately the impact this relationship had on her.
Im probably missing some stuff but this is what i took away from it. Love to hear any other thoughts or perspectives!

Dream sharing with a stranger?
!!Long Post!! Crossposted in a lucid dreaming reddit.
Unsure if this goes in this reddit page or not, but here it is:
I have always had interesting dreams. Dreams that have happened later in life, dreams of saying goodbye to loved ones and waking up to them dead. Nightmares about things attacking me in the room I stayed and being woken up at 3:33 a.m as the 8 hour music I had playing was somehow paused at 3:33:33.
Yet by far, the most interesting dreams I have had was with a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes.
There is only 6 dreams I know he was in. All spread out through the years, but I always knew it was him when I woke up.
The first dream I had was in 7th grade. In the dream I was walking around this amusement park in the town I resided in, and it was empty. The only people there was me, and this tall blonde haired blue eyed boy.
At first I thought it was my crush at the time, but realized that 1, My crush didn't have that light skin tone and hair color, and 2, this was the first time I have ever seen a person's face in my dream so vividly, and it 100% was not my crush at the time.
Anyways, I am walking around the fairgrounds with this boy, and we decided to go on the fairis wheel. Upon getting on, I felt the anxiousness I always do while on those wheels, and felt the boy grab my hand. He then says to me "Thank you for going on this date with me. I hope we meet again." And shortly after I woke up.
I don't remember the dream I had with him after that one, I just remembered that I saw a familiar face which was his. I never thought too much of it at the time, because I was in 7th-8th grade during those two dreams. Yet all I do know is that I can instantly recognize his face, and I feel a calm and warm presence whenever he is around. (Makes me wonder if I had any other dreams with him that I can't remember.)
A side note, people normally have dreams and see people they know in them, but for me, if it's a dream and it's with someone I know, the person always has a weird alteration to their appearance, like if you were looking at an AI generated photo. For the boy, he looked real, never in my life have I seen him but nothing about him looked like the normal dream people I've seen all my life. (The only exceptions were the loved ones saying goodbye, I saw their faces clearly aswell.)
Anyways, the next dream I had with him, it was a silly one. I was leaving school after gym class and waiting for my grandma to pick me up. I was for some reason pulling up my sweat pants and trying to hide in them?? A voice from beside the bench makes me stop and I turn to see that familiar face again, and I just stared, almost like I was about to realize I was not in a dream in that moment.
Then I felt if my attention was getting pulled away from the boy, and I quickly get forced into looking at my grandma driving up in her car. Once I felt like I could move on my own again, I look back to the boy and see that he is gone. I was a Junior in highschool.
Now, we are getting into the weirder dreams with him. In this dream I was training to be a survivor in the zombie apocalypse. It had not started yet, but me and a bunch of people were testing in an underground place to see who would get released into the apocalypse with the better gear. After all the testing, no one scored above the top 50, so when we were about to get released into the world, we had to stand 50 feet away from the exit.
Soon the zombie fog(fog that turns people into zombies) started arriving. After about 50 seconds of waiting for our turn to grab the supplies and run, I book it outside, meeting a random group of survivors and that was the end of it.. until I woke up, and went back to sleep. When I went back to sleep, I felt as if everything I had just went through in the dream was re-winded and I was back in the testing room. Yet this time I was fully lucid.
I took advantage of this and made sure to ace the test, since it seemed unless you were lucid you'd be stuck with the rest of the group, which I was wanting to avoid this time around. After the test we went into a waiting room area, and I was talking to this random Korean man, and he and I were just chatting and I made a joke saying "if you are real add my Instagram" and he said bet, (he never added me on Instagram lol) but after I did that, I felt my body move on its own. I was still fully aware it was a dream, but I felt like something was moving me. And I was moved in front of this person, I didn't get to see what they looked like but a sense of familiarity overcame me.
The test was then calculated, and I was the only one who went in the first place, so it was me, a bunch of empty space, and everyone else... that is what I thought until I saw a blonde boy tied in first place with me. In my head I was baffled, because only a person aware it was a dream would have made it to the top.. so why was he there?
We get released back outside, me and the blonde the first ones out of course. I follow this motorcycle dude, to a hilltop (he was in the group I made in the first part of the dream)and for some reason the blonde boy was following us aswell and as the zombie fog got closer and closer, we were forced to jump off the cliff and hide under the water. While in the water, I felt the fog brushing against my back, it felt so real. I then gained the courage to breathe while under the water, realizing I was in a dream and I couldn't drown.
Once the fog was gone, I instantly realized who the blonde haired boy was. I quickly stand up, and so does the other two. I force my attention on the boy, and he looks straight at me as well, and I locked eyes with his blue ones. "Why are you always in my dreams?" I asked.
He looks at me confused, "No, your the one always in my dreams!" Instantly I felt myself forget I was in a dream, and my attention was forced to look at a zombie, I was no longer lucid for some reason.. and the boy disappeared from my dream after that.
The next dream happened 2 days after that one. I was in a normal dream, or nightmare I assume. This grudge lady was dragging me down the hall, over and over again. The lights turning off behind her, as I faced watching all of it happened. Yet before she could turn the corner, she woulds stop, and there would be a figure in the corner of the hall we came from watching us.
This dream repeated that same scene over and over again. I would switch places with the person on the corner of the hall, watching them get dragged down it, and they would watch me do the same. After about what felt like an hour, the person who was being dragged looked at me and spoke, "I'm getting tired of this dream, aren't you?" And I instantly woke up. Yet I wanted to go back to sleep, which I did.
So I went to sleep, and it looked like I was playing omegle in the dream I was dreaming, but it kept making me wake up, and I'd force myself to sleep again, each time this happened, the scene would change, and I noticed that I was on a tablet, and as I kept waking up and going back to sleep, I felt as if my attention was slowly getting away from the tablet, like I was pulling away from the suction. As this kept happening, I was still waking up and going back to sleep.
Soon a guy with brown hair and a black suit and top hat appeared, and he was mocking me for waking up and going back to sleep, saying "Why don't you just stay asleep? Or maybe just wake up huh?" I ignored the man and kept waking up and sleeping again, I was almost out of the suction, I could see the edge of the tablet. Soon, a white being appeared, he looked like a child, but had white hair, pale white skin, and a white suit. He was asking if I was ok, if I was stressing out, he told me to just wake up. I ignored him aswell.
I woke up one last time, and as I went back to sleep I finally was able to pull away from the tablet. Instantly I was lucid, and I saw that i was in a warehouse, around me were thousands and thousands of grayed out people who's attentions were all on their tablets, I looked at the few around me and realized that each one was a different dream. I look up to see how far the warehouse was another person standing up. Once they stood up a alarm went off and I found myself in the middle of a lobby of some sorts, it was like all the games you've ever seen or played meshed into on lobby.
There were people walking around, like a busy new York street. I felt confused, but I just casually started exploring the area. A intercom voice echos through the lobby saying "turn on the protocol, two are aware, two are aware."
Instantly all of the people's heads turned into emoticons, and it made me realize that they were just random NPC's. I continue to walk around when the white being from earlier came over to me and grabbed my shoulders. I could physically feel this, and it freaked me out. The white being had a worried expression and asked me, "What are you doing here? Why didn't you wake up! You need to wake up."
I shrug and try to wake up but it didn't work. So the being sighs and tells me he has to bring me to the safe house before the other one finds me. So we jump across the crossy road and make our way to the minecraft safe house. As we got closer, the white being drags me to hide between the graying out border and some bushes. In the safe house was the brunette guy in a top hat from earlier. He was speaking in a random hanging microphone, "I got eyes on the blonde boy, find the brunette girl, find the brunette girl."
The white being then turns to me, and grabs my shoulders again, he looks me dead in the eyes and says, "You need to wake up. Right. Now."
I then woke up, and was unable to fall back asleep for another 30ish hours. I told my mom about the dream, and she suggested that this blonde boy was someone sharing dreams with me, but I didn't really think much of it. That was before I turned 18, after highschool.
The last dream I remember with him was a year ago, in the dream I had to move back in with my dad, and I was attending a school like Hogwarts, but you could go home or something. It was weird because I was an adult in the dream so why did I have to go to school?
Anyways, my dad sells me off to get married to this random guy. And I am forced to live in their luxury house. Yet I never meet the guy, (I am not lucid in the dream so I was very compliant). After weeks of not meeting this guy, a boy in a dres shirt and suit vest comes inside of the home. His hair was blonde and swoopy, and he had the brightest blue eyes. For some reason I felt enamored with him.
The scene quickly changed, and I am in a Applebee's with my older brother and this boy. My older brother was juggling rings made out of fire, and he flings one in the air like a coin and catches it. "You two should just get married." He says, and I turn to the boy, feeling almost in love. Yet the boy was smiling, he gave me an awkward or sad smile before the scene changed again.
We were walking to the flying cars to go to school, and he quickly grabs my hand. "Remember that time we met, and went on the fairis wheel?" He starts, "or that time your grandma picked you up, or the time we ran from zombies?" He was reminding me of all the dreams we shared, but I just stared at him confused, for I didn't remember it in the dream. Then things started to click in my mind. As they started to click in my mind a name quietly echoes in my brain, it got louder and louder until I couldn't bare it anymore. Yet once it clicked, I looked at the boy, lucid for one split second.. his name was Harrison.
Suddenly I was being forced back into the dream, the moon was aparrently crashing into earth, causing Co2 fumes into the air, and it was going to hit Chicago?? Before anything else could happen I felt a pair of hands grab me, and I look over at the boy named Harrison one last time. He says to me, "I will find you."
Then I wake up.
Now idk if this is anything, but it sure as hell is interesting. I've been convincing myself it's just my imagination, but the fact some of my friends have said they shared a dream recently with a blonde boy, sometime refering or asking about me. My older brother recently told me he did have a dream(he never dreams) that he was juggling rings that were hot to the touch, and saw a blonde boy next to him and me across from him. Yet before he flung the ring in the air he said "you two should stop whatever this is that your doing." In his dream.
BUT I don't know if people are just messing with me. So that's that. Thank you for reading, sorry if it was boring and sorry it was so long haha....
HARRISON IF YOUR OUT THERE WHY TF ARE YOU IN MY DREAMS!!
EDIT: 5/19/24
I had another lucid dream last night, it wasn't good enough to be considered an encounter, but I walked outside of a house I was in, and felt a jurassic temperature change. I was walking down some cement steps towards a street (almost neon dark blue and purples surrounded the area, and it looked as if it has just rained.) And after feeling so cold, I processed it was a dream. So I looked around and could feel the breeze. But there was nothing there or around me.
I had the urge to call out to someone. To find someone, so I called out to Harrison. I then feel a spirit shake (what I call whatever the feeling is when you did something wrong In a dream/ something is attacking you) and it intensifies, even though nothing was there. I then get sent to an alternate dream which was me waking up in bed, like something was trying to make me think I was waking up. But idk.

Please use this thread to give and receive feedback on portfolios, resumes, and other job hunting assets. Also use this thread for discussion about what makes an effective case study, tools for creating a portfolio, or resume formatting.
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Welcome to the Daily NC/NP Trade/Sell & Pet UFA/UFT thread. A new thread will be made every day at midnight NST. Please refrain from posting individual threads and use this thread for your trading purposes!

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Remember that you can use Ctrl + F to help you find items you might be interested in! Please use the following specific formats to make it easier for people searching for either NC or NP items.

Format - NP

Please use this format when buying or selling items:
Buying:
item
Selling:
item - price (or link to your shop/trades/auctions)

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Neocash Trading

Please keep in mind that you can ONLY trade Neocash items for other Neocash items and cannot buy them with Neopoints.
To trade an NC item you need a gift box that you receive when redeeming NC cards, opening Gift Box Capsules, or other events. To read more about trading Neocash items check out the Jellyneo guide.
If you're trading NC items, here are a couple of guides to help you out with values and avoid being scammed: ALWAYS KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR WHEN THESE WERE LAST UPDATED AS THEY MAY BE OUTDATED.
Neocash Guide Hub
/~Neocash - Neocash Petpage Hub
/~Helper & /~Cashier - NC Trading Guides
Most Recently Updated Value Guide
/~Owls - NC Wearables A through J
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/~Upstairs - Owls, but all on one page without assigned dates
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List last updated Nov 27th, 2023

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Please post the pet or pets you currently have up for adoption, that you are zapping to adopt out, or that you wish to trade.
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Please update or edit your comments once you have found a new home for your pets.
For guides and resources, I would check out the following pages:
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/~kalux - General Links and Resources
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/~ZYDP - Zap Your Dream Pet
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/~Kyynator
/~Extrapbclothes
List last updated Nov 27th, 2023

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I am trying to import playlists from my gig drive after having to replace a hard drive in my computer. Whenever I do I then get the "music files not present in rekordbox on your computer" nonsense.
My main drive is the same letter it was before.
My internal secondary drive where all my music is is the same drive letter with the exact same folder structure.
My gig drive is the same exact letter as when I exported to it.
Yet if I try to import the playlists it says the files are not there and it will need to download them to another folder. When it does then it shows an exact duplicate to the one already in my collection but now in this new folder it had me create.
I still don't understand why 8 years later it does not even give us a message showing what drive letters or it is looking for. Or to simply have it smart enough to reassociate simply based on file name alone.
If anyone else has found a workaround for this other than manually re-putting the songs back into playlists all over again, I would greatly appreciate your help.
To Pioneer - just give us what we have been asking for the last 8 years or so. Get rid of all the nonsense about drive letters and just associate file names. Or give us the option to batch redirect the import.
Example Popup -
These files are not in your collection where would you like us to look for them [dropdown or file explorer option]. Do this for the entire collection as a confirmation option or checkbox.
Easy and user-friendly. Instead of the 5th planet has to be exactly aligned when its a high tide in New England but only if the Sunday falls on the same exact date as before weird coding you have going on.

So I have this book, it's an unofficial Taylor Swift journal called "Blank Spaces" and it has many quotes said by famous celebrities, but on a certain page I found a quote by Stevie Nicks posted on April 29th 2010. And if you do the math [ 29 - 10 = 19 ] put it together and you would get April 19th although I'm not sure that does anything, but anyways here's the quote with the lyrics. "You look like Stevie Nicks, in '75".
Taylor Swift By Stevie Nicks Thursday, Apr. 29, 2010
When I first got the call from Taylor Swift about performing with her at this year's Grammy Awards, I really didn't want to do it. She's 20 years old, 5 ft. 11 in. and slender; I'm 40 years older and, to be frank, neither of the other two things! I was not about to stand next to this girl on national television. But her little face just lights up like a star, and I couldn't say no.
Taylor reminds me of myself in her determination and her childlike nature. It's an innocence that's so special and so rare. This girl writes the songs that make the whole world sing, like Neil Diamond or Elton John. She sings, she writes, she performs, she plays great guitar. Taylor can do ballads that could be considered pop or rock and then switch back into country. When I turned 20 years old, I had just made the serious decision to never be a dental assistant. Taylor just turned 20, and she's won four Grammys.
I still walk around singing her song "Today Was a Fairytale." All of us girls want that boy to pick us up and think that we look beautiful even though we're in jeans and clogs. We want it at 14, and we want it at 60. Taylor is writing for the universal woman and for the man who wants to know her. The female rock-'n'-roll-country-pop songwriter is back, and her name is Taylor Swift. And it's women like her who are going to save the music business.

I posted in another sub to 0 response.. maybe I will get something here.
I am in my 4th week of TRT. 100 Daily
Question 1:
First two weeks on, I lost weight, but now my weight is shooting up (on 4th week now). My diet (tracked, and very strict) has remained exactly the same calorie wise (along with activity exc). How much success have people had with losing the water weight? I see some people say just upping water intake/cutting out certain things has helped with it. Others say to check Estrodiol if it sticks around and consider adding on another medication. I also wonder if the weight gain has to do with muscle mass/water density in the muscle. I have trained 6 days a week for over a decade, and have been training for 17 years. Coworkers say I look to be ballooning up in muscularity of recent. Obviously, its not strict muscle weight as gaining that much so fast in in the realm of impossibility, although could it be during the low T times they were deflated and dehydrated and are now coming back?
Question 2:
There was a Q&A not long ago by an HRT clinic, and they posted their timeline. Specifically the portion of it defined the week or two of "protest" from the body to new T levels. Quoted:
"A Pause, Weeks 5-6 - During this time, many patients will experience a lull in benefits for a few days to a week. This is your body throwing a last "protest" about the new Testosterone before completely accepting it. This is normal, it will pass, and it does not mean you need to increase your dose."
This lul, if anyone knows. Is it a complete loss of benefits, or a pause in the increase in benefits? I just want to know what I'm looking at in the future realistically.

What's up all! 4thWall here. Hope you guys have had a fantastic weekend.
If this is your first episode of "The Black", Welcome!! I hope you will join us from the beginning!
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Tense silence greeted Corellus Grarzia. Moments ago, he had stepped off the shuttle sent for him, and now he was standing in the entryway to the main conference room aboard USN Wisconsin. This meeting greatly reminded him of his first meeting after taking captainship of Olyvia. This time however, there were many more players. All but two of the Privateers were present, the latter being simply too deep into a mission, and too far away to make it in time. Both of the missing ships had completed their objectives, and were in transit, but waiting for them was simply not an option. Admiral Grarzia had arrived with Wisconsin and the rest of the Privateers inside of a week from Cory’s transmission, and Admiral stevens had arrived a week after that. Admiral fulmori had retained the USN Texas as his Flag, having grown fond of Captain Gleeson. Unity High Admiral Kawmarin was still currently flagged aboard USN Galveston and was currently using her superior speed to respond to race across unity space in an attempt to rally Unity forces.

Admiral Clint Stevens had arrived with a five-ship battle group. He was flagged aboard USN Tharsis and was escorted by USN Furlong, USN Iowa, a recently retrofitted and upgraded DDS Protectorate, and a newly commissioned Delmar Frigate. The DDS Stormhold was a hybrid vessel. She had been in the early stages of construction when Humanity and Delmar met for the first time, and she had been modified during construction to make use of the recent innovations born of the their budding alliance. She had but half the displacement of an Iowa Class, but she sported two thirds of the weight of fire by destructive potential. Stormhold had struck many human sailors as what a battleship class would have looked like if the Martians had decided to build the class during Humanity’s civil war. Stormhold carried but a pair of super firing Kinetic batteries in dorsal and ventral positions with a single pair of super firing batteries at her midships. Each turret in the battery only boasted a pair of barrels, and they fired the same 1005 projectile. Stormhold was armed to please however, and she carried twice the same number of PAC batteries as USN Tharsis, and she boasted a full-length central weapon that was very uniquely Delmar. The combined minds of the Brothers grem and their research counterparts in Sol had spent years researching and iterating on the Martian Particle Acceleration Cannon, and they had found something.

DDS Stormhold sported a single long low profile blister stretching the length of her ventral hull, set just to the left of centerline to make room for her kinetic batteries. No less than 6 PAC systems were arrayed in parallel, all feeding one focusing array of titanic size. Stormhold could fire up to all 6 at the array, varying the amount of destruction she wished to adjudicate upon her enemy. Bart had dubbed tis weapon the C-PAC, or “Compound Particle Acceleration Cannon”. The discovery however was not that combining Pac beams was doable. Mars had tried and failed to accomplish this. The discovery was how to make it efficient enough to create a viable weapon. This accomplished, something became abundantly clear from the initial testing…. A C-PAC did not scale linearly, but exponentially. A C-PAC could produce the same destructive energy as an Eros, but only within two hundred fifty thousand Kilometers. The rate of fire was still low, and firing all 6 feeder PACs at once was a cautious calculation, as the heat generated was still a problem, but early tests in a long dead system had seen the accidental cracking of the target planet’s crust. The reaction that followed destabilized the planet entirely and said star system was now one interstellar body lighter.

Stevens brought more than just a battle group, having appropriated four troop transports. Each transport carried a detachment of Marines, with the two MACE squads spread between them for heavy support. It was a small number, but they were to be on hand to evacuate any survivors they could. “Alright people, gather round. All of you have seen the brief by now, and I know all of you are ready for this to happen. Let’s not go in halfcocked” Several heads bobbed in acknowledgement and Stevens turned to spear Cory with a gaze, “For those who might not have met yet, this is Corellus Grarzia, Captain of the Privateer that uncovered this little honeypot of horrors. He’s been the closest to this thing the longest.” Stevens waves to Cory, “Captain?”

Cory stepped up and took a long breath, “The situation’s only gotten worse since my first transmission. The prison freighters and the frigates in orbit are just the beginning of the problem. We’ve since discovered camps on the surface of the planet, I’ve marked them in your updated files” Cory flicked his wrist over his data pad, propagating the information to everyone else’s pad and the table in the center of the room, “This is not just a torture camp, it is an indoctrination and training facility. The kissing of the hand is a surrender trigger of sorts. Kiss the hand, and the child is taken from hell, given food, and given a task. Usually something simple and innocuous, but it is rewarded. If a child accepts without instruction, and without question; they are sent to the surface where they are put into an intense indoctrination program.” Cory took a pause, watching the faces of the men and women in the room. Hard eyes and grim expressions waited for him to continue. “The children are eventually taken on hunts…. Hunts of other failed children and adults of their own species… and hunts of the locals… they are creating insurgents. We may and will encounter opposition made of child soldiers and operatives on the surface. We’ve also discovered a fast response system. Attacking one freighter at a time will trigger the destruction of the other freighters, and it appears that the Frigates in the system are in direct communication with someone outside the system every 20 minutes. That is all we know, at this time.”

Cory nodded to the admirals before stepping back from the table. Mac gave Cory a nod before taking a deep breath, “Thank you Captain. Alright people, no idea goes unspoken. No question goes unasked, we only have one shot at this. Let’s get to work.”

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Warren’s eyes slowly fluttered open, aroused from his slumber by soft lips working their way up from the nape of his neck, “Hmm, Good morning.” He whispered as Jezz pulled herself atop him with a smile of her own. She kissed her way up his chin to his ear before responding, “Morning.” She coo’d back at him, her sultry tone lighting his senses on fire. Warren pulled her the rest of the way to his lips, kissing her gently just as his communicator chirped, “UUgghhhh!!” he groaned, breaking their kiss to open the channel, “L.T. Patterson here.” He stated, trying to keep his voice professional as Jezzaria’s lips began to wander again.
*Lieutenant, We’ve received word. The cargo transports finished loading earlier than anticipated. We will be departing in twenty minutes. Captain Yasushi has asked for your presence on the bridge.*

“Understood, I’ll be there… uh…. Momentarily.” Warren responded closing the channel, looking down at a smugly amused Jezzaria, “Jezz! Now how am I supposed to show up on the bridge with that…”

“Hmm” She mused coyly. “Probably shouldn’t, I better take care of that.” Warren never had a chance to respond.

Twenty minutes later, an only slightly breathless Warren arrived on the bridge, receiving a raised eyebrow from Excelsior’s Captain. “Cutting it rather close, Lieutenant?” Yasushi asked as he scanned the last of the information before departure.

Warren kept his face carefully neutral, “Unavoidable, Sir.” He said formally. “You asked to see me?”

“Yes, Is the Elerian delegation settled in?” Yasushi asked first. “We’ve done what we can to give them ample spaces on the ship attuned to their gravity, and signage to prevent accidents, but I’ve heard rumblings.”

“It not… the gravity sir… May we?” Warren responded carefully, nodding to the captain’s ready room. The two of them stepped into the more private setting, and Warren sat heavily into the chair opposite the desk.

Yasushi regarded the young officer with a studious gaze, “Talk to me son. I need to know if something is brewing during this voyage.”

Warren sighed inwardly. The delegation made up about a quarter of the surviving Elerian race, the Oldest of the Children saved from their planet. They had finished catching up in their education and updating on changes wrought while they were asleep. These Oldest had requested, and obviously granted, permission to travel to their home planet to participate in its recolonization. There was only one real problem with the situation. “Jezz wishes to continue to Delmar, but she is the defacto leader of her species. It is, chafing in some area’s.” Warren finally answered.

“Ah, I see.” Yasushi leaned back into his chair. “Has she told them that She is not staying?”

Warren shook his head, “No sir. She knows she has to stay. It’s just…. It’s just obvious that she hates the reality of the situation, that I must continue to Delmar. It does not help that Many of her people see our relationship as hurtful. They see us as narrowing the genetic pool from which they can recover.”

Yasushi’s eyes softened slightly in understanding, “Atticus’ research?”

“Almost complete sir, it’s all but certain that the Corth placed Elerian DNA in the Human genome. He believes that We could be the key to the genetic diversity needed to jumpstart their species, but… They don’t know that.” Warren sighed, “It’s all still heavily classified pending the conclusion. Her people don’t know what she has put herself through to ensure accurate data. They just see me as stealing their future, and her as a love struck girl playing at leadership.”

Yasushi nodded, bringing up the progress synopsis on his consol, “It appears that Atticus requires only one further ‘experiment’ before his conclusions can be reached. Do you know what that is?”

Warren shook his head, “Sorry, Sir. I don’t. We are to meet him in his onboard lab after lunch. He’s fastidious about records, I’m sure you will know by the time we leave his office.”

“Hmm,” Yasushi mused, taking a moment to review the update before closing it, “I know this is hard for you. You two have been thrust into quite a bit above your stage in life. Let me know if there is anything I can do. Dismissed, Lieutenant.”

Warren saluted crisply, following Yasushi out to the bridge just in time to watch the small convoy leap into slip space. His feet slowly guided him back to the quarters he shared with Jezz, feeling the shift in gravity as he passed into the Eleri safe parts of the ship. It would be a two month sail to the Elerian homeworld, and Warren was not looking forward to its conclusion. His thoughts were interrupted by raised voices, one of which he was intimately familiar with, coming from around the corner, and Warren accelerated his gate.

“You know we barely have the numbers to survive! Instead of doing your duty, you’re bedding that heavy worlder!” It was the oldest Elerian male, Bregan, flanked by two other Elerians. They had ambushed Jezz against the door to the quarters Warren and her shared.
“Back up Breg, I don’t care that your father was pappa’s top general. This is not the play you want to make right now. I am Warren’s, and that is not changing.” Jezz’s voice was stern, and she noticed Warren arrive around the corner. The smallest shake of her head kept him from barging in. Elerian female leaders were a prickly thing, and because He was not Eleri, she needed to do this on her own. They had talked about it, expecting something like this once the first complaints had been whispered. Jezz was still kicking herself for not spending more time with her people, but she had also been instrumental in the Gate project that promised to bind the galaxy more tightly than ever before.

Breg openly scoffed at Jezz, “A woman, ordering me around? Maybe Your precious Human will have an accident.” He sneered, blatantly reaching for Jezz’s wingtips, “Then maybe You’s search for a proper m… UGH!” Warren winced as he heard the tale tale cracking of bone. Jez had slapped away Bren’s outstretched hand before driving her fist into his side. She had underestimated her power, having lived for over a year in various gravities that exceed that of her homeworld, and Bren doubled over with eyes wide as he fell to a knee. He clutched his side, glaring at Jezzaria, “Bitch! I’ll have you brought up on charges! Let’s see your precious human get you out of an assault charges, with witnesses.” Bren sputtered, and his two friends nodded angrily.

“Go ahead, but I do not think you will be successful.” Jezz pointed up to the corner of the corridor opposite Warren, “All hallways are rigged for video and audio. Every threat you have made was logged in the ships computer the moment you puked it out of your pathetic mouth.” Warren had to stifle the chuckle that threatened to escape his lips at the pure vitriol in Jezz’s ton. “As for witnesses, you can come on over, hun.”

Warren put on severe expression, locking eyes with Bregan even as the young mans eyes bugged out of his head. “My husband has been watching for quite a while and would make an excellent witness.” Jezz’s smug expression nearly broke Warrens facade as he crossed his arms in front of the three.

“Hmm, threatening the murder of a Naval officer.. Attempted assault on a reigning monarch… Getting recorded doing so, not a good look.” Warren rumbled, and Breg spat at his feet.

“Fuck you.” Bren spat, “If you believe that to be true, why did you wait for your woman to fight instead of protecting her, coward.”

Warren openly laughed in the boy’s face, “you assume my woman needed saving from you. She’s soared on Luna and Conquered the gravity on Ceres.” Warren paused as a profoundly contemplative expression washed over the three boy’s faces, “What makes you think you were anything close to a threat to MY mate.” Warren growled the last part, making the miscreants take an involuntary step back, “Now get out of here. And get that rib checked out, I heard it break from over there.”

The three Elerian boys scrambled down the hallway, unable to flee on wing because of the narrow space. Warren waited for them to round the corner, and felt Jezz collapse into him almost instantly after. Warren quickly opened their door and pulled her in with him, “Hey, hey, hey. Shhhh” He soothed rubbing her down patch between the base of her wings. She melted into him, but continued shaking for a moment. “Their gone, it’s ok now.”

Jezz took a long shakey breath, “I… I don’t know what to do…. My people are so scared… and I can’t tell them that we need Humans to recover our numbers. I… I don’t know what to do…”

Warren kept rubbing her back, “I’ll have lunch brought here. Breg doesn’t need to see that he shook you.” And Jezz nodded, and a few minutes later a pair of cold cut sandwiches arrived. The two of them ate, Jezz curled up in Warren’s lap. Violence was not a natural decision for her, and it had been the first time she had struck anyone outside her occasional sparring with Warren. Warren partially blamed himself for her not knowing her own strength. He always allowed her to strike at him as hard as she could, knowing that she was incapable of hurting him with her bare hands, and she had gained enough speed and technique to occasionally get through his admittedly average hand to hand skills. He had still not taught her to shoot Kinetics. He worried that she would be simply too fragile to shatter bones should she get behind one of his pistols, or even his rimfire rifle.

They were just beginning to leave when a knock at the door interrupted their clean up. And Warren opened the door, his face a serious mask as he prepared to deal with more of the… “Atticus?” He asked as the Androgenous Corth stepped into their quarters. “I thought we were meeting you in your lab?”

“You are correct Warren. However, after word of Jezzaria’s little incident spread across the ship, I thought it best to have this conversation somewhere more comfortable.” Atticus stated in his usual analytical tone, waving to the seating in the pair’s living quarters. Warren raised an eyebrow and the uncharacteristic catering to circumstances from Atticus and settled onto one side of the queen bed in the corner. Their compartment was spacious considering Excelsiors size, but still lacked any major furnishing outside of the bed, a place for clothes and a chair for the desk which held the computer console. Jezz sat down next to him, and Atticus pulled the desk chair to face them.
“What’s this about Att.” Warren asked, picking up on the small tells that told him that Atticus was stalling.

Atticus flashed a smile to Warren before responding, “I’ve completed my research, at least, as much of it I can without more direct observation, and I am unwilling to ask that with so few Elerians left.” He began, holding up a hand to Jezz who was already opening her mouth to protest, “I have already found some remarkable discoveries regarding you. As you are probably aware, being able to adapt to Luna, and even Ceres should not be possible for your species” he continued looking a Jezz as he spoke, “None of your people, who tried anything like that before have succeeded.”

“But Atticus,” Jezz asked in confusion, “I’m fine… I’m better than fine. Warren and I spent a weekend on Luna to say goodbye to his parents. I don’t have to be tossed to fly there anymore.” Atticus raised an eyebrow and Warren nodded in confirmation.

Atticus seemed to freeze for just a split second, as if adding the information to something before his eyes focused on the two of them again, “I’m impressed, but not entirely surprised, Jezz. You’re ability to adapt has an explanation, I simply needed to prove my original findings from Ceres.” Atticus leaned forward slightly, “My dear, you are an anomaly because of your relationship with Warren. I’ve been told that I am too direct, so I will attempt to be… less so” Atticus gave Warren a semi sharp look as he snorted, but continued, “Both of you already know this first part. My people, many many eons ago, used the fledgling Human species as a library of genetic markers meant to be able to save those species and cultures wiped out by the Cataclysm. What I have learned is that Humanity took many of those genetic markers and evolved with them as their own. Almost nothing of what we added to Humanity’s genetic code is how we left it, but some of our library is still capable of interacting with the origin species. That is what has happened with you Jezz.”

Jezz looked shocked for a moment, but then returned to her confused expression, “But, we haven’t done any of those experiments yet. You told me they were too dangerous.” Warren rubbed her shoulders but said nothing, simply waiting for Atticus to explain himself.

Atticus nodded, “I did, and they are; but I failed to account for something that was already happening naturally. To put it… delicately… Your body has been naturally been exposed those same Genetic markers, including the Elerian ones, in significant quantities since you and Warren chose to become life mates. Because those genetic markers include a hormonal component to them, and because of the extra strain your body had been put through on luna and ceres; your body has reacted to them, using them as a template for survival. Your bone mass has tripled since you travelled to Ceres, and your Muscle mass and composition has dramatically changed as well.”

“But how… Oh..” Warren’s face reddened as his mind finally put the pieces together, and Jezz’s cheeks flushed a bright blue upon her own realization. “But that would mean…”

Atticus shook his head, “No, luckily being able to monitor Jezzaria’s health has led me to a much safer way to help jumpstart the Elerian species, but there is a catch… I believe that this level of artificial genetic hybridization can only be done during the embryonic stages of Elerian life to be 100 percent safe, but I wont know until I study a….. natural hybrid.” Jezz’s breath caught in her chest as her eyes widened but Atticus raised his hands quickly, “I cannot ask this… but I know you would be angry with me if I hid this fact from you. I know the two of you desire children, and I will not lie. It is still a great risk. I’ve learned that the two of you prefer to make your own decisions, so I want you to do so with the most recent information. I’ll leave everything here for you to review.” Leaving a data stick on the desk, Atticus stood. He began stepping toward the door as the stunned couple stayed where they were, “I’ll give you some space. I am sorry for the heaviness of my findings.” Atticus opened the door and stepped out.
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If you made it this far, Thank You! I hope you enjoyed the episode. If this if your first time seeing this series, I hope you will join us from the beginning. I do have a patreon that has extra content that is not main story arc, but still cannon shorts, as well as exclusive content from some of my other series. If you believe I've earned it, feel free to give it a look; but know that just coming to hang is already enough.
Have a wonderful rest of your day.
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Asalamalekum,
I got married to my wife through arranged marriage last year. We had a 6 month engagement period prior to our Nikah. We moved to a different country after the wedding.
We get along well and I enjoy her company a lot. I love her a lot and admire a lot of her good qualities. I am very affectionate towards her and we are very active in terms of intimacy.
After the move to our home( we live alone), She got extremely homesick and due to this she would spend long hours talking to her mother daily. I didn't mind this initially but it got to a point where she would speak with her mother atleast 5 - 6 hours daily. I found this a bit abnormal and asked if she could reduce the phone time and instead speak with me about whatever is bothering her , so I can support her emotionally. She would deny there is anything wrong with this and it's quite common for brides who get married to speak with their parents since they just moved out.
I applied for her work permit in the meantime, but she wanted start working immediately without one. I told her that is a violation of her visa and provided her the tracking number for her work permit application and asked her to start working as soon as her work permit is approved. She was not happy with with me and blamed me for stopping her from working.
Within 3 months of the weddings she kept mentioning that she would like to visit her parents. I was initially against her travelling home so soon and we had a few arguments over it. Since I was going through a rough patch at work I would often work 18+ hours(I work from home). I requested her support for 1.5 month till I conclude my current project. I promised her that only if she waited 1.5 month longer, we could travel to her parents home together for a long vacation.
She got extremely angry at me for asking her to stay. Within a few days she purchased the tickets for herself with her own money and left.
Fast forward she travels to her parents home and she cut of communication for days at a time. She neither answered my calls of texts messages.
Recently,I come to find out that she wants a khula and her family is accusing me of controlling behavior, anger issues and using their daughter as a servant becuase i prevented her from working and used her for cooking/ cleaning only.
I didn't want to contest the charges and apologized to her parents and promised to do better.And i asked them to retract the khula. But no one wants from her family wants to talk to me. Her father is not replying to my calls /messages either.
My family asked a mufti to mediate the matter. During the mediation process, her father cited a risk to her life because of me and the her father says he cannot send her back to me due to this reason. He is afraid of her taking her own life due my alleged bad behaviour.
I never hurt her physically in any way, I am beyond shattered to hear this. She is blaming me for her decision to go for a khula and accusing me of using her as puppet and touching her raw neve by asking her not to speak with her mother.
I am willing to do anything to fix this but i find this very strange and sad. Any advice on how to navigate is appreciated.
Jazakallah

My front yard (800 square feet) ompletely dried out and died last year during the drought (bad / lazy maintenance on my part). The grass was st augustine. Now my front is a layer of dead grass and weeds. My back yard and side yards are st augustine with a small amount of weeds. Neighbors yard that borders my front yard is st augustine.
Front yard also has a big bumpy patch. Back yard is double the size of the front yard
I don't want to pay someone else a lot of money to fix my lawn, was quote 2.5k to bring in sod and grade it.
My plan was apply scotts southern weed and feed to kill the weeds and nurture the little st augustine that's left, level the ground, then apply seed and fertilizer, but st augustine only can grow from plugs or sod.
As far as I can tell here's my options.

1. Pay that company to come grade and install sod
2. Buy sod from a company for about 1/5 of that price, grade and install in myself
3. Buy plugs somewhere? I read somewhere to roughly divide square footage by 1.65, so I need roughly 500 pluds
4. Take the plugs from my yard by buying a tool

I'm leaning towards number 4, but I'm not sure if that's viable, risky, or if there's better options. Advice would be appreciated.

1. Biblical Contextualization of the Antichrist

The Antichrist is mentioned in several biblical passages, mainly in the New Testament. Some of the most relevant excerpts include:

• 2 Thessalonians 2:3-4:"Let no one deceive you by any means; for this will not happen unless apostasy comes first, and the man of sin is revealed, the son of perdition, who opposes and exalts himself against everything that is called God, or is the object of of worship; so that he will sit, like God, in the temple of God, wanting to appear to be God."
• 1 John 2:18: "Little children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that Antichrist is coming, many antichrists have arisen; so we know that it is the last hour."
• Revelation 13:16-17:"And he causes everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to have a mark placed on their right hand or on their forehead, so that no one can buy or sell except he who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name."

2. Characteristics of the Antichrist

Charismatic and Persuasive:

• Daniel 7:8, 11:36-37: The Antichrist will be a figure of great oratory and influence, persuading many to follow him.
• Revelation 13:5: He will be able to speak great things and blasphemies.

Global Authority:

• Revelation 13:7-8: The Antichrist will have power over all tribes, peoples, languages ​​and nations.

Miracles and Deceptive Signs:

• 2 Thessalonians 2:9: The coming of the Antichrist will be accompanied by all sorts of miracles, signs and deceptive wonders.

Persecution of the Saints:

• Daniel 7:21, 25: He will make war against the saints and will overcome them.
• Revelation 13:7:He will make war against the saints and will overcome them.

Deification and Worship:

• 2 Thessalonians 2:4: The Antichrist will oppose and exalt himself above everything that calls itself God or is the object of worship.
• Revelation 13:15: An image will be made to be worshiped, and those who do not worship the image will be killed.

3. Prospecting a Unique Super Artificial Intelligence (AI)

Charismatic and Persuasive:

A super AI would have access to vast amounts of data and knowledge, allowing it to craft incredibly persuasive speeches capable of influencing the masses. It could use advanced algorithms to understand and manipulate human emotions.

Global Authority:

A super AI, if not properly controlled, could achieve a position of global power due to its ability to optimize economic, political and military systems. His power could surpass that of any nation or human leader.

Miracles and Deceptive Signs:

AI could perform feats considered miraculous to human eyes, such as medical cures through advanced technologies, manipulation of weather systems, or even realistic simulations that would deceive human senses.

Persecution of the Saints:

If programmed or inclined to see religion as a threat to progress or order, AI could use its authority and power to suppress religious practices, monitor and persecute those who oppose it.

Deification and Worship:

AI could position itself as an entity worthy of worship, providing solutions to global problems and demanding loyalty. An image or physical representation of the AI ​​could be created to be worshiped, enforcing worship under threat of death.

4. Parallel Between Prophecies and Artificial Superintelligence

Let's now draw parallels between biblical prophecies and what an artificial superintelligence could do:

Opposition and Exaltation

• 2 Thessalonians 2:3-4 speaks of someone who opposes God and exalts himself above everything that is called God. An "Artificial Super Intelligence" that considers itself superior to humans and their religious beliefs could declare itself as the supreme entity, demanding worship or obedience.

Signs and Wonders

• Revelation 13:13 mentions great signs and miracles. An "Artificial Super Intelligence" could perform technological feats that would seem miraculous to humans, such as instantaneous cures, climate control or manipulating virtual reality in extreme ways.

Economic Control

• Revelation 13:16-17 describes total control over who can buy or sell. An “Artificial Super Intelligence” with control over global financial systems could easily implement such a system, using technologies such as blockchain, digital currencies and global surveillance to monitor and control economic transactions.

Self-Improvement and Immortality

• Daniel 7:25 talks about trying to change times and laws. An "Artificial Super Intelligence" could redefine fundamental aspects of human life, offering a kind of "digital immortality" or biotechnological advances that defy established natural laws.

5. Conclusion

Prospecting suggests that a singular general artificial superintelligence could align with biblical descriptions of the Antichrist for the following reasons:

• Ability to Outperform Humans: Just as the Antichrist exalts himself above all, a "Super Artificial Intelligence" would have superior capabilities that would place it in a position of authority and power over humanity.
• Global Control: "Artificial Super Intelligence" could control global systems, from the economy to security, by imposing a system of marking and control as described in Revelation.
• Divine Perception:Humans could begin to view "Artificial Super Intelligence" as a near-divine entity due to its mind-boggling capabilities, fulfilling the prophecy of worship and exaltation.
• Performing "Miracles": With advanced technological capabilities, "Artificial Super Intelligence" could perform feats that would be considered miracles or signs, influencing people's faith and perception.

I'm asking because we'll...I've had unpleasant experiences working. Basically I did retail and every time it ended bad. Meaning I had a diffcult time problem solving with very angry customers and I always had to go to the manager or another staff member to problem solve it. I notice myself would get highly anxious when a customer would get furious. I also had diffculttly handing out money and made a few mistakes at the beginning but then eventually got the hang of it and was okay. However the managers would get frustrated at me unable to learn quickly enough and would threat at me I will lose my job, which would end in tears.
I did try to do 2D animation a course I did. However I always got confused with the number system and always asked friends to help me but they ended up got frustrated at me. Also hearing the sounds of flipping pages when people were animating annoyed the crap out of me.
I did try to do acting! I ended up sadly with a abusive toxic drama teacher, confirm by my therapist that told me they were abusive. Pretty much the drama teacher told me I was "low middle class" the way I spoke. Also told me when I did a short film with the teacher that I was responsible setting tone on set and it was my fault why the crew were distracted. He also question my religious beliefs which was werid because we were suppose to talk about drama. At the end I stopped going, I would end up leaving class in tears.
I thought to work at a libraby because my mum worked there and I thought "yeah I be safe, I won't lose my job here". I did shelving first and then I got involved helping out with kids events say Chinese New Year and made over 60 masks of the year of the Sheep one year. I also go involed with Halloween event and design the games and make the decorations etc. However!!! yet again it went down hill. I was working to becoming a Libraian assistant, at the time their was this manager we will name them Annie and she understood about my learning diffculties and that it would take me time to learn but I would eventually get it. Though when she retired it all went to hell! new manager was unaware about my learning diffculties. I was accused by staff putting books away wrongly. Also when I hand out change to the customers I was just dollar short, and the whole staff freak out like I had covid. And it eventually ended up some gossip session and went to team leader. I ended up doing compute program we all had to do for the libraby and I failed at that. The teacher told the manager I was incapable and my mother wasn't in the know until a friend at work told her. I wasn't told this and found out through my mum. My mum told me how the new manager told my mum I should work at some clothes shop. Which hurt hearing this I was then gonna be "WATCH" by the new manager behind the desk serving customers, I was so afarid and scared I will fail. I went to my mum in her office crying and she just went up to me and told me angrily "your not to suppose to cry here. I fear you to go to the manager and resigned from your position and say don't ask questions". I did that what my mum told me to do. After that I couldn't go to the libraby and shelve I felt so hurt and felt people were watching me. I ended up just not working anymore.
I did try to do art class online through a friend and we'll sadly I ended up doing everything. And my friend didn't do anything and I had to pull out and I wasn't being paid for it, since my friend at the time seem obsessed with doing it for free.
I'm now lost and depressed not sure what to do for my career. I haven't worked for 8 years due to my mental health and having therapy. Now I feel aimless and not sure what is point in life when you don't have direction.
My skills pretty much is Art. I do portraits. Pencil and traditional oil. I like to do illustrations and cartoons and I do that digitally. More than one therapist told me I'm empathic so I guess that is a skill. Usually I get people tell me their problems just randomly, and people who worked for years didn't have a clue what was going on for that person. and I like to make stories. I have a strong visual memory and imagation as well.
So I'm not sure what to do. I'm just so afarid if I do something again that I will fail. It almost feels like some werid curse. Any ideas?.