Badi aur choti bhabi

Hey champ,I hope you will read this soon or whenever or will you or will you not, you may cry when you will read this coz I am while writing this. (This I said to myself before writing this)
Last 2 years of my life have been very painful and suffering, I have been through a lot, I even lost my father I am shedding a lot, a hell lot of tears.
Opted for JEE after 10th since then I have barely met or had a party with my friends, loved to do hell let of extra curriculars but left all of them because of JEE, got my board results of 10th scored 92.6,but got nothing if I tell them that got nothing after this then they'd say ki tuh bta tujhe kya chahiye,,, are yaar apko pta hai mujhe gaming ka shok hai, aur itni cheezo ka hai khi ghuma hee laate, uske naam pe bc sirf kanpur gye. Then gave JEE, though my results were not that good but decent asked for nothing,, I asked them ki online payment karvado almost 6 months ago coz a hell lot of sites from which I like to buy things (from my own money) don't accept COD and I have only cash,,, fuckin 14 year old kids use fampay every guy I know uses it and when I confronted them this today they are like generation gap, wtf????
After JM 2 results I thought if acha aata hai I will gift myself a Real Madrid Jersey but acha nhi aaya isliye nhi ki for board mein I thought I will fail in Physics but 85 ke aas paas aa gye and I was happy so I was like yes let's order a Real Madrid kit , was checking prices and I said to myself,, puri kit "1200 tk aa jaygi",, my mum walks in and says ki paiso ki brbaadi mt kar. I swear I was gonna cry on this but I didn't as some of my relatives were there in the house and I didn't wanted to create a mess.She didn't do this the first time, I wanted a Cristiano poster for my room and she again was like "paise ki brbadi mt kr room khaarab karega"
Yaar meine 2 saal se kuch nhi manga, even paise mein khud deta but still bc yaar 200 ka poster nhi aata 😭. Coming back to the day I was gonna order my jersey.
My mother was gonna leave the city for a week and I thought ki I am now gonna order a Real Madrid Cr7 jersey online. I had the money and I didn't ask them for it. But again the problem was ki the major dealers only accepted online and I didn't use online. I asked my brother ki order krdo online 1hfta ho gya he hasn't order it.
Now today :
I am very sad as I have my BITSAT IN 3 days and i haven't been able to study coz of all this shit and I haven't covered the chapters which aren't in JEE but are in BITSAT, mocks diye but I realised ki iss attempt mein acha nhi ho payga, also because I stopped studying for BITS because I thought ki PCM MEIN 75 nhi aayenga(Thank god aagye)
I am frustrated as fuck as was depressed and since the last week, only studying and lying on the bed, I was crying in my bed, my brother came and asked me what's the deal?
I spilled everything ki muje mum choti choti chezon ke liye mana krti hai (even though I am 18 , for which I don't even ask money for and which I have only decided to order after an exam result of which I am satisfied of)
Once I was going to play PS with my friend for an hour and (after JEE M 2) and both said no.
I kept crying while expressing the thoughts that were in my mind since the 2 years.
Everytime I said ki "mein yaha jana chahta tha after xyz exam but you didn't allow me" My brother said GENERATION GAP hai hamare beech (10 Saal)
Bc har baar yahi cheez har baar yahi cheez he said. It's like say in college I am not going to stay a night on campus for xyz reason say a show/concert and I ask their permission then will they reject it saying ki "GENERATION GAP" HAI.
I am done guys I want to leave my home, I just wanted a shirt and a poster (for a reward to myself and I was the only one who was gonna pay for it and was gonna go to my friends place after the exam and they always said no, it even makes me more sad when my friends after scoring less that 80 are going to London and foreign trips.)
I am just working Hard for a BITS, and I am willing to live a restriction free life.
Sorry if it was long story and idk if I am being stupid but I had to write this.

Har jagah k log kuch na kuch ulti sidhi chije krte hai. Hum desi bhi krte hai. To socha ek post share Kru. Offend nhi krne ka mujhe kisi Ko, bs jo observe Kia hai vo likha.. sahi aur galat aap decide kro.
India Mai humne observe krke yahi sekha hai patiently wait nhi krna. Jaha place mile ghus jao.. chahe vo tum ho, ya tumari gadi. Bs ghusa do. Jaha free ka kuch mile tott pado..
Fortunately maine kuch countries solo ghumi hui hai and Starting ke time Maine kuch ese cheje observe ki dusare countries Mai mujhe thodi odd lagi. Fir logically socha to sense banne lagi. Abhi bhi I'm not perfect but Haan thoda control/change Aya hai. Ye post likhne ka idea es liye aya kyuki abhi Mai Apne parents k sath West Mai hu and firse Wahi cheje dekhne Ko Mili jo maine ki thi. But this time ye thoda alag hai. Abhi Kuch cheje India k Metro cities Mai Hoti hai kuch nhi. maine points likhe hai, Aajo samjhata hu..
Waiting in queue - example deta hu: ek line hai, aur counter hai do. But line counter 1 ke aage hai. To hum assume krte hai ki "yaha aja, dekh 2 no. ke aage Khali hai"
Humme na sikhaya hai na bataya kisi ne ki bhai patience kya Hoti hai. Chahe vo Line Mai chup chap khade hona ya apni turn ka wait krna, ye I guess India Mai sirf airport checkin counter par he hota hai.
Sidewalk/footpath - Hum bc chalte hai jese hum Malik hai eske. West mai mostly log will not utter a single word. They'll just patiently wait ki Kahi se thoda rasta mile to cross kre. Otherwise vo apke piche chalte rahege.
Constant stare - Ye wali chej to bhai.. ladki, ladka, gay, trans, lesbian, homeless, kutta, bili, raincoat wala kutta, rubber shoes wali bili. Humko dekhna he hai jee bhar k, ache se. (Yes, pets ke bhi yaha pakade hote hai) Bhahar se nikale but Restaurant ke andar kya chal rha hai Humme dekhna he hoga Ruk ke. lol.
Greetings - kisi cafe mai gye. Counter par ladki: "hi, how are you guys?". We: "2 cappuccinos double double".
Usse pehle menu dekhna hai apun logo ko ekdam bich Mai khade hoke. Rasta block ho rha ho, koi baat nhi.
Loud burp (डकार लेना)- tum khana kha lo ya beer pi lo. डकार to ese Lena hai jese bc dushman desh ka tank udana ho. Restaurant ho, train mai, plane mai ya kahi open area. Kya kare Maza nhi ata bina liye. 2-3 funny stores bhi hai burp ki mere pas bta Dena if interested Mai share kr duga
Fukare/bloddy show off - Rear windshield par for some reason 'haryana' ya 'punjab' likha hoga. I'm sure local must assume ye car owner ka Naam hoga. And Custom number plates Apne surname ya cast ki (concept mast lagta hai mereko)
Rules - vo kya hai ji. Road wale ya pedestrian wale. Road wale I can't explain to Brampton driving subreddit dekh Lena. Pedestrian wale simple hai, J walk krna. Sidewalk pr bhi yaha signal hota hai ki kab kare road cross. And people follow. Road chahe Khali bhi kyu na hu. Par you know sab log signal ka wait nhi krte.
Phele aap - 500m counter ke piche khade ho jao ya building ka darwaja open krna ho. Yaha log chup krke door pakad lege apke liye. Counter se dur khade ho ese he, par vo tumare piche khade ho jayege and sayad he ye puche ki "are you guys in line?"
We so emotional - this is something that make us special I guess. Recent Ek incident share krta hu.. city cruise par gaya tha parents k sath. Waha bar counter par Indian ladka tha. Naam se notice kra parents ne. To baate krne Lage. Maine bhi bhai Ko hello kra. 1 hr baad jab exit k time usko parents ne bye bola and usne mere parents k feet touch kre. Then I thought humare sanskar har jagah sath rehte hai.
Homeless people - Humare wale Gareeb hath jodd k paise ya khane k mangte hai. Yaha walo Ko to govt paise k sath fresh Syringes bhi deti hai. Lol.
Neverending Thank you and sorry - Har ek chej par tumko thank you bolege and sorry bolne ka to Act bhi nikal Dia hai. 'The Apology Act' in Canada.
So that's it. Sayad kuch cheje apko pta bhi na pata ho ki aap unintentionally kr dete hai. Jese Mere liye Line toddna tha, lol.
Let me know if you have observed similar behaviour ya kuch aur chej jo mere se miss ho gyi ho.
Ek aur chej.. paise jodo aur ghumane jao. Duniya bhut badi hai. Bhut kuch Naza sekhne aur dekhne Ko milta hai :)

Life ki sach m lag chuki h 19 ki hu, 17 m 12th krliya tha aur abhi Tak college ka kuch pta nhi h 4 saal (11th-2nd drop) se neet ki tyari kri lekin iss bar bhi state quota se mil jayega college jiski fees 12lakh + h jo m afford ni kr skti.
Parents m bs maa h jo khud struggle kr rhi h aur depressed h. Recently ran away from house (with mom, my mom's family knew) kuki waha toh halat aur bhi kharab thi aur mmy zeher khane ja Rahi thi
Mujhe samjh ni ara meri galti kaha h , mujhe pta h life fair nahi hoti lekin iska mtlv ye thodi ki har jagah se m hi pilu , mene toh wo sab kuch Kiya Jo mujhe supposedly karna chahiye tha
1- sab classes m 94% + leke ayi
2- kabhi intentionally kuch galat ni kiya kisi k liye
3- hmesa chup rahi taki sar k upar chath ho
4- bewajah mar khayi , gaaliya suni , wo sab kuch suna or dekha Jo ek bache ko sunne or dekhne se pehle mar jana chahiye
5- anxiety attacks ate the toh khud toh wrap krke Beth jati thi
6- dosto ne apni aukat dikhai
7- family toh chalo family kehlane layak thi hi nhi
8- jab mmy ki Jaan m baat aai toh himmat dikhai or unko leke aai us nark se bahar
9- hmesa sbko hosla dete gyi ki sab thik honaega, krlenge hum kuch
10- jab mmy ko sath leke ayi toh mmy ne kuch kam pakda kharche k liye toh padai k sath Ghar sambhala
Na jane kya kiya kya nahi Lekin kuch bhi thik nahi ho rha
Maa kehti h tu pad m apni jewellery bech dungi lekin uske alawa toh hmare pass kuch h bhi nahi toh agar jarurat pad gyi toh kya krenge
Bhai bhi wahi bnta ja rha h jisse dur bhagi thi itni himmat krke.
Mmy kehti h tu koi choti moti job krne ki mat soch , apne career m focus kr m tujhe achi jagah dekhna chahti hu . Unko prove Krna h sabko ki wo galat the aur mujhme potential h lekin mujhse ab nhi hota.
M thak chuki hu , M THAK CHUKI HU

kuch child centric activities aur khane pine ki vaiwastha sahi ho. Aur sabse badi chij budget me ho.

Hello dosto ! Tho Aaj mein aapko ek bache ki story sunata hu uska naam tha chintu . Abhi bho 10th ka bord mein 77% Lata h abhi bho sochta hai ki konse subject lu. Tho chintu YouTube par kisi jhootuber ki ek video dekhta hai ki ek bacha Jo ki 10th board mein 75% lane ke baad bhi IIT mein air 247 Lata hai aree dosto mein Nishant Jindal ki baat nhi kar rha hu kyuki uss par baghwan mehrwan tha aur bho khate hai na bhagwan mehrwan tho gadha phelwan kher chodo mein kisi aur ki baat kar rha tha Abhi uss video ko dekhna ke baad chintu fully motivated ho jata h Bo sochta hai ki agar koi bacha 75% lakar jee jaise exam crack kar sakta hai tho Mein kyu nhi kar sakta tho usne bhi soch liya ki mein bhi IIT jaunga aur ye usne aapne jivaan ki sabse badi galati kar dithi kyuki bho Jo bacha 75% laya tha Bo cbse board se tha aur chintu apni state boards se tha aab chalo galati hogyi hai tho kya kar sakte hai usne 11th class mein pcm liya aur koi coaching join kar liya abhi kya tha phele paper ne hi use aukat dhikha di abhi kya tha fir se Bo couching ko galat samazjne laga Abhi Bo firse YouTube par jaata hai aur dekhta hai strategy videos video dekhta dekhta usko PW ke bare mein pata chalta hai abhi ye uske dusre sabse badi galati kyuki yha par tho timepass khud teacher kareta halaki phadne Bala bacha time pass par focus nhi karta lekin chintu phadne Bala thodi tha Bo IIT Jane Bala tha to usne aapna apna naam bhi chintu chala IIT rakh liya aur uske chat PW mein itni famous hu ki aaj har pw ka teacher usse janta hai chintu chala IIT ke naam se. Lekin uski itni mehnat chat par karni ki bajah se bichara IIT nhi pauch saka lekin aaj bho famous itna ho gya hai ki PW ke har batch mein chintu chala IIT ke naam se Kam se kam 100 -200 id tho uhe mil jayengi
Moral of the story - yaa tho class mein topper ban jao tho aap famous ho jaoge yaa fir looser ban jao aap famous ho jaoge.🤣😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hi everyone So yeh rant nhi hai bss advice maang rha hun Toh maine drop liya hai aur woh bhi online kyuki mai aak chote se town mai rehta hun yha koi offline coaching nhi hai.. Toh mere 3 se 4 dost hi hai mera unse utni baat nhi hoti and mai ghar pr akela rehta hun aur meri badi didi hai woh bhi out of the town rehti hai toh utna baat nhi hota Mai din bhar pe rehta hun lectures krta hun khata hun aur so jata hun So ab mujhe lg rha hai ki offline coaching kr lena chaiye out of the town jakar .. Maine socha tha ki kota chle jata hun lekin wha environment change ya fir khane ke wajah se health khraab hua toh drop year mai problem hojayegi bhut.. Lekin mera offline hi krne ka man hai kyuki online mai daily 3 lectures hote hai toh mai1 lecture dekhne ke baad thak jata hun toh fir dusra lecture 1 ya 1.5 hrs ke baad dekhta hun jisse bhut time lg jata hai toh yeh toh mujhe hi manage krna padega mujhe pta hai lekin offline mai 3 lectures krne mai itna effort nhi lagana padta hai jitna online mai krna padta hai.. Mai soch rha hu apne ghar ke pass dusri city mai chle jata hun lekin wha drop mai fast padhayenge mujhe iska dar hai bss..and Toh abhi clear nhi ho rha Agar mai finally online hi krunga toh isse deal kaise kru? Yha koi park and chill krne ka jagah nhi hai I know kuch baate contradict kr rhi hai uske liye sorry!

She said in her vlog " mujhe darr lag gaya tha ki mujhe sunna na pade ki tumko itna bhi nahi aata, kuch seekha nahi...etc etc...and this thought made me cry!!
FEW QUESTIONS TO YOU:-
Pehle toh yeh batao..kiska sunane ka Darr tha? Ammi, Abba ya shauhar?
After earning so much every month from vlogging this level of confidence, vulnerability, weakness, phattu behaviour you show to your audience!!!
Jab tumhara shauhar bolta hai ki mere parents duniya ke sabse achche parents hai,kabhi tumhe kisi cheez ke liye roka Toka nahi hai toh itni choti si galti ke liye tumhe kyu Darr laga ki sunna padega aur Rona nikal gaya??
One thing is for sure!
Tum apne sasural apne shauhar ke bagair ek pal bhi nahi ruk sakti! Isiliye jab akeli hoti ho toh khala ke yahan bhaag jaati ho....Tumhari phatke haath mein aa jayegi ghar mein inlaws ke sath rukne mein! because you don't trust them at all!

bhai dekho ill try to be as nice and to the point to be possible
when i came to this subreddit for the time it was the first time me using reddit coz a friend of mine used to share posts of this subreddit and i genuinely enjoyed scrolling jeeneetards but bhai abhi itni negative vibe hogyi h iss sub ki har koi bas dukh ki baate karta h lets come to the first point cheating bhai kitna roge bhai ? cheating karli wow karliya bash usko dedi gaali beetgaya ek hafta ab aage bado na ? kitna rona dhona karoge about ruining jee han i understand jee kharab hojaata h har jagah mehnat kaam nahi karti bhagwan kismat ek chees hoti h i understand but bhai hafto hafto tak bas rote rhoge ki nta esa h wesa h ? kuch kar skte ho to karo nahi to chup betho lekin tmuhe post karna h padayi k ilava dusre exams ki tayyari ko chordkar reddit scroll karna aur post karna h aur jo log khete h saare exams gande gaye bhai tum chutiya ho jo saare exams gande kardiye jee 1st gaya 2nd gaya advanced maanlo cuet gaya vitee bhi gaya? bitsat bhi gaya ? be mtlab rr karna hota h genuine posts karliya karo bhai kabhi to rr k ilava jitna scroll karo all you do IS CRY i guess our youth has to come up with a strong mental state and thoda positive mindset ham bhot jyada hi rr karte hai aur bhot jyada hi negativity se surrounded hote h hobbies ko side rkh dete ho jocheeso ko enjoy karte ho side rkh dete ho bhai maa chudaye jee 2 ghante to kuch esa karo jisme sukoon milta ho maja aata ho thike bhai nahi jayenge iit nahi jaayenge nit make it clear to parents
JEE IS ONLY TO GIVE A BOOST TO YOUR CAREER INSTEAD OF A 6LPA ull get 10-14LPA thats fucking it THHE END FULL STOP thats the only thing of jee to meet good people and give a boost to your career yall have made it your entire fucking life han maine bhi holi chordkar jee ki padayi kari diwali side rkhke padayi kari COZ I LVOED TO STUDY I KNEW MAI ABHI CHOTI UMARMAI MEHNAT KARUNGA TO AAGE JAKAR UTNA PEACEFUL LIFE HOGA i study coz i want to study and i like studying i like solving questions the sense of achivement i get after solving a uqestion aur mock mai 25 mai se 20 sawal ya maths ka tough question hona tests mai questions hona i get the sense of achivement isliye padta hu kisike pressure mai nahi padta hu kisi KE LIYE NAHI PADTAH U APNE LIYE PADTA HU
reservation ke liye bhi rote h ye bache are jee ki padayi karte wakt nahi pata tha kya ki kitne percentile laani h ? tab nahi rona aya ki obc sc st le jaata h seat tumhari ?
are le jaata h to le jaata constitution badlega ? dusre exam ki tayyari karle lagrta h 99% nahi aayegi to loan leke padliyo bitsat clear karle just stop with rr thing
bhot time se mann tha ye vent out karne ka kyuki ccuties se ghirkar tang aagya hu
anyways keep studying work hard bhagwan ki pooja karo mann ko shaant rakho upar wala jo akrega acha karega have a good day

I wonder koi aurat itna earn karti ho aur itne properties bana rahi ho khud ke paese se aur wo choti choti baat pe vulnerability dikha rahi hai .... Ye ajeeb lagta hai.
Ye natak ho sakta hai Darna aur pati ki sewa and all lekin females ke liye ek ghalat message hai. Inki viewers to inki nakal karne ki koshish Kari hain na ...
Dabba aur cringika hanikarak hain auraton ke liye.

Hey Peeps,
My PC keeps crashing after 10-15 mins of gaming (any game at high settings)
PC Configuration:

• CPU: intel 12400F
• GPU: RTX 3060 (12 GB)
• MOBO: B660M Gaming DDR4
• RAM: 16GB(8GB*2)
• Air Cooler

During normal usage it is perfectly fine but this crashing keeps happening while gaming.
After reboot this is the error keeps coming "WHEA_UNCORRECTABLE_ERROR".
Also earlier I never faced this issue (when I was in Bangalore) but now I've moved to a relatively hotter place(my home town)
Any kind of help is appreciated. Thanks in advance(not choti but badi advance)

Hi so this is my first reddit post. i have been lurking on this sub since jan but never had the himmat to actually make an account coz i know my parents wouldve killed me. but whats even the point now, i wanna die anyway.
i have always loved writing. my half written novel of class 10th still haunts me. in 10th i got 98.4 so obvio parents put in fiitjee (wahi unchi dukan feeke pakwan). humari badi beti ka 'potential' waste kaise hone de sakte hain? aise kaise usse bina trauma ka bachpan de?
in 11th, became the head girl of my school. so padhai zyada nahi hui but i still managed to cover lil. in 12th, cut ties with my friends, teachers and basically removed everything else from my life. but kahan hota hai bhai? dheere dheere, scored 92.2 in jan. got depressed. fir cbse diya. fir april attempt mein 94.6 aaye. so yeah was pretty heartbroken.
now i started jee advance coz parental pressure of iit. but i know ill never get in. aaj cbse aaya and they werent even happy. they were just like meh, okay. i got 93.2. coz my mom is sad that i got a FUCKING 89 in computer science. and she starting ranting about how i had a whole fucking month. baaki mein
Eng-92
CS-89
PCM- 95 each
and what happened this evening that i accidently lost 50 ruppess while fetching milk. so my dad, who found nothing else to yell at me about, starts yelling at me. he starts insulting me on another level and about how much i let him down in front of everyone in the society. aur maine unki naak katwadi with that terrible result in boards. i break down crying. he leaves. and i want to die. i wanna suicide so bad. i wanna move out of delhi. anywhere i beg. anywhere. bits is the last hope that keeps me floating. orelse i die. and then they demand "get a delhi college. placements are good." yes dad placements are good, but you are not. FUCK YOU MOM DAD.
TLDR: previously academically gifted kid breaking down

Hi so this is my first reddit post. i have been lurking on this sub since jan but never had the himmat to actually make an account coz i know my parents wouldve killed me. but whats even the point now, i wanna die anyway.
i have always loved writing. my half written novel of class 10th still haunts me. in 10th i got 98.4 so obvio parents put in fiitjee (wahi unchi dukan feeke pakwan). humari badi beti ka 'potential' waste kaise hone de sakte hain? aise kaise usse bina trauma ka bachpan de?
in 11th, became the head girl of my school. so padhai zyada nahi hui but i still managed to cover lil. in 12th, cut ties with my friends, teachers and basically removed everything else from my life. but kahan hota hai bhai? dheere dheere, scored 92.2 in jan. got depressed. fir cbse diya. fir april attempt mein 94.6 aaye. so yeah was pretty heartbroken.
now i started jee advance coz parental pressure of iit. but i know ill never get in. aaj cbse aaya and they werent even happy. they were just like meh, okay. i got 93.2. coz my mom is sad that i got a FUCKING 89 in computer science. and she starting ranting about how i had a whole fucking month. baaki mein
Eng-92
CS-89
PCM- 95 each
and what happened this evening that i accidently lost 50 ruppess while fetching milk. so my dad, who found nothing else to yell at me about, starts yelling at me. he starts insulting me on another level and about how much i let him down in front of everyone in the society. aur maine unki naak katwadi with that terrible result in boards. i break down crying. he leaves. and i want to die. i wanna suicide so bad. i wanna move out of delhi. anywhere i beg. anywhere. bits is the last hope that keeps me floating. orelse i die. and then they demand "get a delhi college. placements are good." yes dad placements are good, but you are not. FUCK YOU MOM DAD.
TLDR: previously academically gifted kid breaking down
Edit: Thank you so much everyone. I attempted suicide yesterday night unsucessfully. But today morning on seeing your comments, I felt like the will to live trickled back into me. I have to keep living. For my novel. For my dreams. As for people who are asking for my novel, I have written it in notepads and I don't have the time to get it on google docs for now. But when I do publish it someday, I'll send you the link. Once again, thank you so much guys.

Pichle 1 mahine se mai Physics compartment ki tayyari krrha tha But pass hogya with overall 71% Mere liye badi baat thi ye , kyuki 2 din padhke boards dene gya tha But papa got disappointed and said 12th me itne aaye hai to neet ke score me to medical college ke aage sabzi ka thela bhi nhi lgane denge tereko Which is kinda true , aur mai apne papa ki jagah hota to apni bhot kutai krta Pr jo hona tha wo to hogya But that sabzi ke thele wali baat really got me , now he aint ready for my redemption next year in neet Neet 2024 me 390 ke aaspass aarhe hai number and i think i can get 600+ with a little seriousness 1 saal baad aaunga yaha wapas😈🗣🔥🔥🔥(chigma male bg music)

It's 13 may my result was announced at 11.50 am .. i was little nurvous bcause i thought i might have passed anyway.. I have seen many people passed exams who don't know anything.
First let me start my story since childhood
Mai bachpan se thoda sa padhayi mai nalayak tha school skip krne ke bahane bnata tha ()... Dheeere dheeere . 8th class tak avg student se achha ho gya tha padhne me aacha score kia 9th k kuchh mahino baad COVID aagya tha 9th v online exam deke nikal gyii..kuchh nhi padha saal bhar bass kuchh games khelta tha youtube chalata .. uss time thoda sa ethical hacking me thoda sa pair rakh dia... class 10th me April me mere dad ko COVID hua ..and he passed away (2021) it was the most painful moment but mai itna dumb/ch##ya tha, tab kya sahi h kya galat iska koi smz nhi tha , Papa k gurajrne ke 3 din baad hi mai gaming mai guss gya ye soch k ki youtube krunga aur paise se ghar sambhal pauga(first & worst decision of my life) .. uss time pubg m tha , papa k guzarne ke un 13 dino v mai 9 10 ghante game khelta tha rec krta achha video nhi nikalta delete kr deta tha...(Device 3gb + screen cracked) Itna time waste hua 59% score kia thodi bahut padke kyuki exam time me game khelta tha.. bolta tha sabko mai v scout ki trh lakho kamauga ..... 10th barbaad Hui 59%. Score kia ghar pariwar me case wase ka chakkar (family issue) toh ham 3no (mai , Meri bhen, mummy) ne hometown chhor dia 100 km door rhne lage fir meri... Kuchh din baad meri ek sabse badi bhn(didn't mention above) , unhone suicide kr lia zeher kha k (kisi ladke se pyar th) (June 2022) kuchh mahino baad meri 11th class start Hui aur mai nalayak tha kuchh aata tha nhi , aur sab teachers se argue krta tha .... Ki mujhe chemistry smz nhi aati , (ofc base clear nhi tha toh)... Unse yahi bolta rha mai apna dekh lunga aap musse mat kaho , aur sake samne bezzti marte the sir log , 11th me 25% attendance gyi jata hi nhi tha mummy ko mna kr deta tha Ghar baithke game khelta sabke taane sunta... Kuchh videos upload Kiye fir chhor dia upload karna( kuchh nhi hoga sochke). 11th me compartment (physics) . inn dinoo andrew tate , iman gadzi , kuchh podcast sunn leta tha... Ghar pe mummy ne support Kia kisi ko na bata k .. same 12th gyi Kam attendence , padhayi v nhi kia .. last month mai Thora bahut padhh let tha .... Exam time me 'pass ho hi jaunga' soch k Thora bahut game khel leta tha.....
Recently mai local mai digital marketing ka job krne lga tha Aaj 3rd day tha 10k/m pe AAJJ JAB RESULT AAYA toh dekha ki ESSENTIAL REPEAT (failed) abb kya kruu bahut ghabrahat ho rhi h ...
Private addmission ka process kya h bta dena , mai toh ek rassi(rope) khareedne jara 🥺

Yaaar this is just a vent u dont need to read it mei sabse jhut bol bol ke thak gyi huu ab bus ab sab sach likhna hai akhri baar So meri journey chalu hoti hai 9th se mummy ek din aise hi puchti hai konsi stream legi and i had no idea about it matlab ye sab cheezo ke baare mei pata hi nahi tha never ever cared to know about aage ka, meine kahan pata nahi dekhenge bhai ne bola arts le lena and mummy ne gusse se bola arts nahi legi ki wo option hi nahi hai and i am a very rebellious kid thus fir mei bhi bolne lagi ki haa arts mei kya problem hai blah blah but then 10th end ho gya and mera confusion bohot jyada badh gya i could not choose between sci,comm,arts i just couldnt say ki ye ek cheez karni hai my thinking was ki abhi tk inme se kuch try nahi kiya toh choose kaise karu it was also related to guilt nahi chahiye future mei so bohot bohot socha aur fir mummy ne bola sci safe option agar accha nahi laga to "stream switch" wala bahana diya and i was okay with it kyunki i couldnt choose then waise mujhe maths bohot pasand tha school se hi so 2nd reason mummy ka ye tha, then started 11th mei bohot serious thi ki jo bhi karungi best banungi ussme so isiliye i had decided i will give my 100% if not enough 200%, starting mei achhe se religiously padha marks bhi theek thak the the problem that happened in start was mei chutiya coaching mei chali gyi the problem was with the crowd it was so dumb and not serious, mere marks theek thak the fir bhi meri class mei rank 5-6 thi imagine and ye sirf start mei nahi hua pure do saal yahi hota raha mei gande marks laati thi but fir bhi wo mere peers se better the toh mei delusion mei rahi ki i am also topper jab ki mei nahi thi, 11th saare lecs attend kiya did not even miss a single lec and carefully listened all of them then aaya 12th it kind of gave me reality check ki mei kahi stand nahi karti and i aggressively started solving diff types of books like literally dc pandey hc verma and sbt ke ques karti thi of the same chap but again the problem was saare nahi kar paati thi only some sums i used to do and never did it in time bound manner, still uk what i got selected in the toppers batch i wasnt even a topper T_T it was just relatively i was better than my classmates for eg; mujhe mains wale mock mei 139 aaye the toh baaki ko 120-100 range mei so ofc i was not good but i was just better than others, ab iss toppers batch mei aane ke baad aukat pata chali i was constantly scoring less marks generally i was the 2nd last or last in the list eventually i got removed from it baadme aaya october syllabus was over and i was all set ki revision karungi oct mei and then mocks from nov onwards meine toh test series bhi le liye the allen and fitjee ke, but my procrastination kicked it i stopped studying uske baad classes bhi band ho gye the so puri tareeke se padhai band hogyi thi i mean ek sec bhi padhna chhod diya tha meine mujhe fomo hone laga tha kyunki literally i had given up on living life for 2 years meine padhai ke alawa kuch nahi kiya na movie dekhi na logo se baat ki na khelne gyi na kuch celebrate kiya no functions nothing pura isolate kar diya tha and one day mere friend ne status pe rakha tha ki uska bday hai and i was baffled kyunki mujhe toh yaad tha ki abhi kuch dino/mahino pehele hua tha naa 1 saal kaise hogya and that moment changed me, mujhe kuch jyaaddaaaa hi fomo hone lag gya tha i thought ki mei kya baat karungi logo se ki jab badi ho jaaungi mujhe toh pata hi nahi hoga kya hua inn do saalo mei(tabhi mujhe ye realise ho raha tha ki ye baate itni imp nahi hai but my inner self could not accept it it was enough for her) so meine movies dekhna chalu kar diya literally koi bhi bakwas si movie jo bhi youtube pe available ho kyunki mere pass koi prime ya netflix nahi tha then it was dec mei pura dec fifr movies and yt shorts scroll karte rehe gyi then jan same routine drr hi nhi lag raha tha mujhe idk whyy, kuch ig 3 din bacche the mere 1st attempt ko i started to get scarred i started to revise everything day and night mains ke pehele puri raat soyi nahi revise kar rahi thi and then gave mains got 75%tile and the main thing is nobody knows all this stuff thats happening they think i gave my 100% but the truth is i gave up in the end i didnt try at all in the last, then came the bad news uk what i started to watch porn yaa i am fully wasted person, so backstory i was introduced to porn by my friend in school and i told her i will never watch it and dusre dost ne bola tha ki wo mujhe porn dikha ke rahega and i used to tell him it wil never happen but unfortunately it did happen and the problem with it was it entered in my life at wrong time i was already lonely and miserable and thats why i started watching porn starting mei it wasnt addiction but lately it has started to affect me badly meine mains ke baad naa hi boards ke liye padha naa hi second attempt ke liye and i have not revised since so many months just counted 6 months i have not studied a single thing, i have no college and i have no backup, parents ameer bhi nahi hai naa hi business hai humara i am fucked in life i blame myself for it fully i deserve all the loneliness and isolation i am a toxic person who should not live i cant do one thing properly i cant control myself i cant do anything i dont have any talents but i do have many things that interests me but i have no hope from life currently, was suicidal rn so thought i could vent out all and feel lighter and yes i am feeling lighter idk kya hoga mera but lets see what happens i have alot of dreams which are unrealistic thats why i need to live to complete those, now slowly i am getting back on track although i waste alot of time still of reddit and youtube but still i am now consiously trying to reduce it and study again i need to get a college this year i cant take a drop my mental health wont support that decision of mine sooo peace out byee idk maybe i wont come on reddit after this or probably i will(99.999% i will itna self control built nahi hua hai) There's a lot more to this but i cant type each and every thing but atleast while writing i recalled those things thankss ps: there might be errors but who cares i aint going to read it again neither should u read it

Meri ek favourite student thi mere class mein. Mere class ke students promote hoke next class mein chale gaye hain. Unki new teacher mere jitni lenient nahi hai.
Main jab kehti thi mera class mein ki aap dusre teacher ki class mein chale jaoge woh aapko padhaenge tab meri favourite student mujhe dekh ke frown karti thi. It's cute when someone likes you, especially little kids who don't like because of greed, or because they want something from you. They just like you for you.
Ab woh dusre class mein chali gayi hai toh two weeks pehle woh recess mein mere class mein aayi thi, mujhse baat karne. Main apna kaam kar rahi thi.
And she started talking, she said, pata hai jab mein badi ho jaungi tab mere mummy, papa aur dada, dadi buddhe ho jayenge. Is liye mein chhoti hi rahungi. Aisa pehle bhi ek baar hua tha jab main class mein sab ko kaha tha ki agar aap apna lunch finish kar dete hain toh aap bade aur strong ho jayenge, tab bhi she said, mujhe chhota hi rehna hai bada nahi hona.
Maine usse kaha aap badi nahi bhi hogi tab bhi aapke mummy papa aur dada dadi buddhe ho jayenge. Agar aap padhai karengi toh aap unka khayal rakh sakti, agar hum padhai nahi karte toh bade hoke kisika khayal nahi rakh sakte.
Yeh sun ke she started saying, haan padhna toh padega, koi doctor ya engineer bana padega, school aana achhi baat hai, ghar pe baith ke bore ho jayenge aur school mein toh friends ke saath khel bhi sakte hain. Ghar pe toh kisike saath nahi khel sakte. School mein aane ke bad gate ke bahar nahi jaana chahiye warna dog noch leta hai. She then Said ki mein aapki class mein sirf tab aaungi jab meri padhai ho jayegi aur mere ma'am aane denge.
New class mein jaane ke bad uska man nahi karta tha school mein aane ka because she wanted to be in my class. So, her mother told her that she should study and go to school.
Ek baar recess mein woh bag leke, apni ma'am se chhupke mere class mein aayi. Mere class ke door pe thi toh uske ma'am uske pichhe khade the aur usko kaha ki woh wapas apni class mein aa jaye, she went.
Uske baad maine bhi usse samjhaya ki agar woh mere class mein aayegi aur uske ma'am ki baat nahi manegi toh uske ma'am ko bura lagega aur usko aisa nahi karna chahiye.
She used to ask me that why I don't bring lunch box and eat with her in the class when she was in my class. She used to ask me if I ate something or not.
She was also singing my name once in the recess.
She's my favourite. 🥰

Meri ek favourite student thi mere class mein. Mere class ke students promote hoke next class mein chale gaye hain. Unki new teacher mere jitni lenient nahi hai.
Main jab kehti thi mera class mein ki aap dusre teacher ki class mein chale jaoge woh aapko padhaenge tab meri favourite student mujhe dekh ke frown karti thi. It's cute when someone likes you, especially little kids who don't like because of greed, or because they want something from you. They just like you for you.
Ab woh dusre class mein chali gayi hai toh two weeks pehle woh recess mein mere class mein aayi thi, mujhse baat karne. Main apna kaam kar rahi thi.
And she started talking, she said, pata hai jab mein badi ho jaungi tab mere mummy, papa aur dada, dadi buddhe ho jayenge. Is liye mein chhoti hi rahungi. Aisa pehle bhi ek baar hua tha jab main class mein sab ko kaha tha ki agar aap apna lunch finish kar dete hain toh aap bade aur strong ho jayenge, tab bhi she said, mujhe chhota hi rehna hai bada nahi hona.
Maine usse kaha aap badi nahi bhi hongi tab bhi aapke mummy papa aur dada dadi buddhe ho jayenge. Agar aap padhai karengi toh aap unka khayal rakh sakti, agar hum padhai nahi karte toh bade hoke kisika khayal nahi rakh sakte.
Yeh sun ke she started saying, haan padhna toh padega, koi doctor ya engineer bana padega, school aana achhi baat hai, ghar pe baith ke bore ho jayenge aur school mein toh friends ke saath khel bhi sakte hain. Ghar pe toh kisike saath nahi khel sakte. School mein aane ke bad gate ke bahar nahi jaana chahiye warna dog noch leta hai. She then Said ki mein aapki class mein sirf tab aaungi jab meri padhai ho jayegi aur mere ma'am aane denge.
New class mein jaane ke bad uska man nahi karta tha school mein aane ka because she wanted to be in my class. So, her mother told her that she should study and go to school.
Ek baar recess mein woh bag leke, apni ma'am se chhupke mere class mein aayi. Mere class ke door pe thi toh uske ma'am uske pichhe khade the aur usko kaha ki woh wapas apni class mein aa jaye, she went.
Uske baad maine bhi usse samjhaya ki agar woh mere class mein aayegi aur uske ma'am ki baat nahi manegi toh uske ma'am ko bura lagega aur usko aisa nahi karna chahiye.
She used to ask me that why I don't bring lunch box and eat with her in the class when she was in my class. She used to ask me if I ate something or not.
She was also singing my name once in the recess.
She's my favourite. 🥰

mai abhi mock de rha tha , aur ek badi wali makhhi pareshan kar rhi thi , maine maardi , to uske andar se blue blood nikla , maine pura research kara and i found out yes they have blue blood , and its tasty also
Arthropods have hemolymph instead of blood. Instead of hemoglobin which contains iron and turns red when oxidized, they have hemocyanin which contains copper and turns blue when oxidized. - another reddit post

I met her in a local market. She was having momos and so was I. Mai bola aap kya @bhalovashi ho, usne aisse react ki bhai kya hi ho gya, usne bola shit yaar nhi aana chahiye tha market, maine bola koi badi baat nhi hai, not a big deal, tumko kaun hi janta hai, chup ho gayi, phir maine pucha kab se ho yahan, usne bataya 13 saal se hai, ye toh bas maine ice break karne ke liye usko bola, aate honge naah pehle isiliye aa gaye, par usne phir jaate jaate ye bol gaya ki mai toh yahan 13 baar bhi nahi aayi hoon, I should not come in local market.
Maine galti kari usko puchke, aap sab maat karna…
Ghar aa ke check kiya toh uske 300k bhi follower nhi the.. aur hawa me hi udd rhi hai…

Bhai aajkal har koi locality mein Jo theka wagera pe baith ta hai velle log woh sab bhaichara bana liye hain,, thar,fortuner badi badi gaadiya pakad ke ghum rhe hai,, ye sab log,, like ek ek gundo ka group bana pada hai,, gunda bolu yaa kya samjh nahi aata,, par inn logo ka "connections" hota hai boht saara,, ek call laga lenge aur tum sab ki gand mardenge ek ek ki jisne unka Bhai ki disrespect Kiya,, mujhe ye sab samjh nahi aata ye gunda gardi wagera,, ye sab chizzo mein gusna chhaiye kya bhai? Aap mein se koi hai aise group mein? "Ek call lagaunga,, 10 aadmi tere Ghar ke saamne aake Teri Gand fad denge"
Mein toh kabhi nhi gussa inn chizzo mein,, mein padhta likhta hu Ghar baithke,, par inn chizzo mein gusna sahi hai kya? Kyuki agar bhaichara on top kiya phir khudki protection bhi achha khaasa mil jayega agar kisi se dusmani wagera hogya,, dhamki wagera Dene ko maza aayega ....par ye log smoking drinking karte honge,, mein ye sab nhi karta (aur sunna hai ladkiya bhi attract hoti hai itna connection aur bhaichara rakhne se)
TLDR: ye gunde mawaali bhaichara on top Wale groups mein kuchh value rakha hai,, yaa aise hi vellapanti hai ye sab?