When you’re experiencing love bombing in the initial stages of a narcissistic relationship, there is always that wish that it goes on forever. You’re being treated like royalty, your ego is being stroked, you’re going on great vacations, and everything seems to be going perfectly well, and you are just ‘madly in love.’ It’s those moments that stick with you forever, and your only wish is for you and your love bomber to maintain those highs till the end or even infinitely. On top of that, in the love bombing phase, there is always the aspect of having fantasies about the future. So, the present idealization and the promised future looked so bright, and you end up getting swept off your feet.
So, you may be asking yourself is a narcissist or just anyone can maintain that love bombing phase forever and that’s what I’m going to answer today and explain why it’s impossible to maintain that love bombing phase for a lifetime.
The Hard Limits of the Narcissist's Mind
While their skills at love bombing can feel so intoxicating and almost magical in their intensity, it's important to realize the limited ways a narcissist’s mind functions. On a deeper level, a narcissist got through life feeling cut off from their own deeper feelings and dealing with serious insecurity, shame, and problems with staying connected to people.
Instead of developing the emotional capacity for genuine intimacy, narcissists depend on a pattern of idolizing their romantic partners and enjoying the idealized image they’ve created. It's a give-and-take arrangement that fulfills their need for attention and constant reassurance that they've found an ideal, flawless partner.
Their strong desires and the initial intense affection they show come from a deep emptiness inside them that they can't fill, no matter what. When you no longer meet their unrealistic expectations, they realize this emptiness, leading to them treating you badly or discarding you, as they struggle with their own deep emotional issues.
Analogy: Thirsty Wanderer
Imagine someone wandering through a vast, empty desert, dreaming of finding an oasis their mind conjures up. They're so thirsty that they see it vividly - palm trees swaying, a sparkling lake with clear water, a peaceful escape from the harsh desert. Driven by desperation rather than reality, they eagerly rush toward each mirage, only to watch it vanish before their eyes every time. Despite knowing they're just illusions, they rely on these false hopes to survive, even though they never quench their thirst.
The tough environment only allows those mirages to show up briefly. It's not because the wanderer doesn't deserve a real oasis, but because their own inner emptiness stops them from seeing anything beyond those short-lived mirages.
That's the tricky thing about narcissists' love bombing - even though their affectionate gestures might feel wonderful and long-lasting, their inner emptiness and emotional detachment will eventually ruin those fantasies. As their ego gets more fragile and they become more afraid of being left alone, any perfect images they've created will crumble.
Do not Wait for the Love Bombing
While you may really wish for the lovebombing phase of the relationship, or even dream about it each day and each night, do not let it stop you from seeing the reality for what it is. It was intense and enjoyable, but it felt that way simply because it was also feeding your deep insecurities and stroking your low self-worth. When you don’t believe in yourself on a deeper level or when you’re not full on the inside, you will fall for those cheap love bombs or those brief intense moments of affection as they seem rare to your insides.
So, the love bombing may not actually be intense, but it could just be that you're feeling so empty, poor, and thirsty on the inside that any tiny bit of affection feels like a huge deal. If you long for love bombing, it's because your mind doesn’t want you to confront the emptiness inside. But true healing and transformation come from acknowledging and understanding that emptiness, rather than filling it with fantasies and wishes. By recognizing it for what it is, you can start to address the negative influences that fill this void.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

My solo indie game just reached the 10000 wishlists last week (10484 to be exact). I never thought I could reach that number on my own without a proper marketing team, budget or big following.
I'd like to share with you what worked and didn't in the hopes it can be helpful to you too.
Disclaimer: I did sign with a publisher two months ago, and while they are already working on marketing stuff, nothing has been published yet. Those numbers are 100% from my own "marketing" efforts. There are people way better at this than me! I'm just sharing my experience here and I'll let you judge if it's helpful. Some things that did not work with me might work with others (and vice versa)!
Let's sort what worked out the best for me. Steam Events > Influencers > Reddit > Twitter > Devlogs (I can't put image on this subreddit, but you can take a look at my wishlist graph with key notes on my original free patreon post)
It might sound obvious, but take the time to check your wishlists regularly, especially whenever you're trying to give visibility to the game with a post/video/announcement/mail. It will allow you to know what works and doesn't. I usually check out youtube and twitch for gameplay videos or press articles whenever there's a bump while I'm not in an event or did not post anything.
Keep posting stuff on social networks. I know it takes time for a small reward, but it's good to have those regular wishlists. It also shows development is alive and you never know when it will reach an influencer or press. When I stopped sharing my stuff for a while, wishlists completely dropped, I was even loosing some everyday! Reddit is harsh, but very rewarding.
I publish devlogs on my youtube channel. I got ~200 wishlist from more than 100k views that took me weeks of work. I don't think publishing devlogs is an efficient way to promote your game, UNLESS you go viral or that your videos also target players by being more accessible without too much technical stuff (mine are definitely targeting game devs for now). I'm only speculating here, but I think game developers are mostly interested in learning from your journey than actually wishlisting/playing your game compared to players which results in less wishlists. So do it only if it makes you happy and you want to share your journey (and be careful not to overwork while doing it)!
Influencers are great for 3 reasons:

1. They give your game visibility.
   
2. They give you feedback to make your game better.
   
3. They are usually keen to do it for free to help small indie devs.
   

Build yourself a press list: a list of press and influencer that might be interested in playing your game. Find their mails online, on their website, channel page or social networks. When you have something very interesting to show them (a new demo, event or announce) send them all a mail (but don´t spam them)!
Here are two accounts you should follow to get tips about how to properly reach to influencers (and other game marketing in general): Clemmy and Wanderbot (subscribe to their newsletters!)
Events are huge for wishlists. It's easy and it does not take time to submit and they are usually free. But there are two big issues with events:

1. You have to find them.

The best free place to find most events is on the HTMAG discord created by Chris (@AdventureMtn). There's also this amazing calendar with all the events (thanks to u/mreliptik for sharing this with me)!

1. You have to be accepted.

You need a demo, quality marketing assets to share and a good steam page. Again, Chris has some awesome tutorials (free and paid) to get a great steam page up. Consider supporting him if his tutorials helped you!
WARNING Do not submit your game to the steam next fest too soon like I did. You want to submit as late as possible, ideally just before your release. Each game gets one shot at the steam next fest, and the more wishlists you have going in, the more wishlists you'll get. I made that mistake because I thought I would release the game 2 months later (lol).
On a side note, you will have tons of wishlist deletions. Don't worry about it, that's perfectly normal (I won't lie, the first 1000 deletions still hit me hard though).
I think the best time to create your steam page is as soon you have a small trailer, screenshots and interesting description that do not look like a prototype full of placeholders. The sooner you have it, the sooner you start collecting wishlists! With the steam page also comes the whole steam community package, which is a plus to keep in touch with people who like your game. I don't really see any disadvantage in having a steam page early, but you might want to plan the communication around the page release to maximize visibility right away. Do not release it without telling anyone! When you demo is out, you can update your page and announce it everywhere too (try to give the exclusivity to a big showcase if you can!).
Things that did not work for me: devlogs, replying to influencers asking for games on twitter, using those spammy hashtags to promote your game (#wishlistwednesday etc...), posting uninteresting stuff about the game developement EVERY day, reposting the same content, posting on the popular subreddits, sharing my game on those "share your work" channel on discord servers, paid ads and plenty of other little things I wasted my time on because I was desperate to get more wishlists.
I hope this was was a nice read! Just to make this clear, this is my experience and it might work very differently for different type of games and game developers. If you'd like to try the game for yourself, you can play the demo on steam. And if you'd like to keep following my journey, you'll find all my links/socials/newslettepatreon stuff here.
Don't hesitate if you have questions, I'll do my best to find time and reply!

[INDEX]
I banked the fire and stared into the golden eyes of Beatale before I crept into my makeshift tent.
I still had my auric vision running and couldn’t help but notice the thin silver cord that ran from me to Horse. Firming up my aura, I reached out with my hand and grabbed it. I could feel the nearly imperceptible vibration between my fingers as I used my mind to probe at the thread. I could feel a bright spark of intellect, a light at the end of a tunnel. Pushing with my mind, I slid down the thread until the spark grew larger and eventually filled my inner vision with a hazy white light. Horsey thoughts nudged at me curiously.
I slid into the haze and immediately lost all sense of direction. If it wasn’t for the silver thread, I’d have no idea how to exit this shifting white fog. Horsey thoughts got stronger as I followed the thread while the haze thinned and cleared to reveal an endless prairie of green grass. I found myself standing before a naked man wearing a horse mask and I stared in shock. It was obviously me wearing a cheap costume horse mask — there was no mistaking my tattoos.
“What did you expect?” Horse neighed at me. “I am you and you are me and we are all together. Goo goo ga joob.”
Horse made a shooing motion with his hands and I accelerated backwards through the white haze and slammed into my own body with a gasp. I stared at the tarp overhead for a long minute, processing this new revelation. Horse was a part of me, a piece of my spirit. Whatever psychic stuff I did with that silver cord lead me into a house of mirrors where I got to look at myself pretending to be a horse. I can’t even deal with that right now.
Rolling into my blankets, I dropped off to sleep.
*Ding*
-=- - Welcome to the Dreamworld - Included in the Psychic Skills pack, the Inner Sanctum is your psychic domain. It is the mental fortress that you must secure and maintain to defend against psychic and spiritual assaults. All of your neurosis and fears are symbolised in this realm and must be defeated or subjugated before you can become master of the domain. Good luck. -=-
I banished the pop-up and looked around. I knew I was asleep, but everything was just as real as when I was awake. I was breathing, I could feel the floor under my feet, and if it weren’t for the pop-up, I would have sworn I had been teleported. The room I was in resembled an oversized luxury prison cell, maybe a thirty foot cube. No windows. Rough stone walls with thick mortar. Large brass wall sconces were set directly into the stone and suffused the room with a warm, golden light provided by glowing rocks. The stone floor had colourful Persian rugs tastefully placed. A high plaster ceiling was painted with a rendition of Michelangelo’s ‘Creation of Adam’, depicting me as both Adam and God.
There was a comfy sofa in front of a large screen television that hung from one wall and an ornate grandfather clock ticked loudly in the corner. It was currently 10:08 PM. Another wall was a floor to ceiling bookshelf, stuffed with books of varying sizes. The third wall was covered with pictures and I could see at a glance that they were images from my life. The fourth wall had a thick riveted steel door on the right side, a full sized mirror on the left, and a computer workstation in the middle.
The picture wall was my first target. A few were quite large, nearly life sized, while others were tiny prints no larger than the palm of my hand. Scenes of my life were displayed in each one. The largest was me riding Horse with a shit-scared expression, shooting at a pack of wolves. Others were smaller, each with different frames. Some ornate gold or silver, others plain wood, a few wrapped in briars or barbed wire. Nanny Ramsey holding me as a young child. My dog Jean with a red ball in his mouth. My parents, screaming at me. I turned my attention to the books. Books are safe. Books don’t judge you.
The sweet, musty scent of a used book store filled my nostrils as I drew close to the honey coloured shelves. Hundreds of volumes filled the wall from floor to ceiling, with a ladder that could be rolled along a rail to access the top. I smiled at the sight. I had always wanted a library like this. I pulled a book at random and read the title, “Confused Fantasies about Joseph Harris, part XXIV of the Middle School Years”.
I slid the book back onto the shelf. Let’s see what’s on TV.
The remote was a slim, futuristic looking affair with a minimum of buttons. I pointed it at the television and moments later the huge screen came to life and presented me with a simple menu for movies, divided into six categories: Happy, Surprised, Afraid, Disgusted, Angry, and Sad. I scrolled through the offerings for a minute, reading the titles and reviews about the movies of my life. It really bothered me that there were so few selections in the Happy section.
The number of Sad movies increased by one.
I walked over to the mirror and noticed there was a small sticky note pasted to it. “Astral Realm. Experienced users only.” I shoved the note in my pocket and stared at my image. Sturdy black boots, black denim jeans and shirt with mother-of-pearl buttons, deep brown gun belt slung at my hip, red bandanna and black felt hat. All I needed was a pencil moustache and I would look like the stereotypical villain in any spaghetti western. At that very moment I decided to grow out a goatee. I’d rather be mistaken for a bad guy than a victim.
So how does this astral realm thing work?
The mirror appeared to be nothing more than a mirror. It was cold, smooth glass surrounded by a wrought iron frame, and reflected my image. I didn’t necessarily want to go walking into danger, but I wanted to know how it worked. I pushed and prodded the glass in frustration until I noticed my image grinning at me. I jumped back in surprise and it doubled over in silent laughter.
“Hilarious, dude. You got me,” I huffed. “So how do I get in?”
My mirror-self tipped his hat and stepped to side.
I reached up to the mirror again and my hand passed through, vanishing as if cut off. Okay, just a quick peek and we’ll explore the rest of the room. I stepped through and the world shifted around me. I was standing back at the campsite. My body was insubstantial as a ghost and the tarp was a wisp of substance running straight through me. Non living things don’t seem to have much presence in this realm. Glancing down, I saw my sleeping body rolled up in the blankets, a thin silver thread running from it to me, and another thread running to Horse.
Looking around, I surveyed the campsite. My astral vision seemed to be on and had an unlimited range. I could see the life all around me, the distant forest was a sea of greenish-gold, grasses and brush nearby glowed with spectral light. Tiny ghost insects scurried while ghost mice nibbled at whatever ghost mice nibble on. Ghost seeds and ghost insects, I suppose. I turned my attention overhead and gaped at the sight of a monstrous serpentine spirit flying through the inky void. I dropped back through the tent and rolled inside my body. That was plenty enough for now.
I rolled through the mirror and landed flat on my back, staring at the fresco on the ceiling. Vinnie-God winked at me and Vinnie-Adam grinned. Climbing to my knees, I brushed non-existent dust from my trousers and watched mirror-me doubled over in soundless laughter.
“Hey, laughing-boy!” I yelled at him. “You’re like the guardian or something, right? You got it covered?”
Mirror-me stood and saluted with a smile, then gave me two thumbs up. A moment later, his face took on a serious expression and he wriggled his right hand in the ‘maybe’ motion. Then he pointed at me, tapped his wrist, and then a finger to his head.
It all depends on how fast I learn stuff, I guess.
Two thumbs up and a winning smile reflected back to me.
A large cork board was mounted to the wall over the computer and a small note was pinned to it. “Note to self: Don’t fuck with the Elvish womens.”
The computer screen featured a screensaver of me as Vitruvian Man doing callisthenics over the words ‘HumanOS’. I tapped the spacebar and was rewarded with the sound of powerful fans kicking to life as the computer emerged from sleep mode and prompted me for a password. Should I assume it’s the same as the password on the computer I pawned in my previous life?
Password: *******esi
I was rewarded with a sweet R&M desktop and a couple of icons. System, NeuralNet, My-Tunes, My-Movies, My-Office.
System was just what I expected, lots of .dna files and other confusing scariness that allowed me to tweak my physical body and mental state. My-Tunes was a collection of every song I’d ever heard and My-Movies was a collection of every movie I’d ever seen. Not that I’m complaining, but it would have been nice to have “My-Games” so I could play RDR. My-Office was a clone of the popular software by a similar name. I have no idea what I’ll ever need a spreadsheet for in this world.
NuralNet opened up a search engine called Me-Seeks, featuring a familiar blue guy.
I typed in “beer” and several thousand results were displayed, anything I’d ever read, heard, or watched about beer, including how to make it. This right here made the price of admission totally worth it, access to an exact copy of everything I’d ever read, and I was a voracious reader. Sadly, most of the stuff I read was futurology — solar panels, electronics, biotech advancements, quantum computing. The material for steam engines, blacksmithing, farming and the like, were slim pickings. That’s okay though, I could still reproduce the Gutenberg press, the cotton gin, simple internal combustion engines, and basic batteries along with some sketchy knowledge of metal alloys, acids, bases, and other things I had read over the years. All that wasted time watching “How Things Work” was finally going to pay off. I copied a few likely money makers to My-Office, saved the file, and exported to my Notes, just in case they didn’t exist on Aerth.
A popup covered the screen.
📱 [New Upgrade Available!] 📱
🎉 Enhance Your Experience with the Latest HumanOS Features! 🎉
🌟 Features Include:

• 🧠 Memory Booster: Increase your Memory for smoother multitasking and improved performance.
• 🔋 Energy Optimizer: Extend your battery life with advanced power-saving techniques.
• 🛠️ Utility Upgrades: Access new apps and utilities to enhance your daily life and adventures.
• 🗺️ Advanced Mapping: Never get lost again with enhanced GPS and location tracking.

🔥 Special Offer: Only 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0! 🔥
[Upgrade Now ✅] [Remind Me Later ❌]
Apparently I could upgrade myself, which reduced the cost of using my Utilities while providing other minor benefits. My Utilities would level up as I used them, which would increase their battery cost, so if I didn’t keep pace with an update to the OS they could become prohibitively expensive to operate.
Stupid pay-to-win world.
So, do I pay 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0?
I selected version 3.0 and klicked [Install]. After watching it download the update, it popped up another screen that asked if I wanted to update now, or wait until Midnight for the mandatory update.
I selected [No] just as the grandfather clock chimed 10:30 PM. I wondered if time ran slower in here, because it seemed like I had spent a lot more time on the computer than 15 minutes. Walking over to the imposing steel door, I noticed a bronze key with a thin chain in the lock. There was another sticky note on the door. “Subconscious. Please keep the key with you at all times.”
That’s not scary at all, is it?
I unlocked the door with a loud clunk and pulled it open to reveal a bedroom straight out of some royal castle. I could tell immediately that it had seen better days. The tapestries on the wall were frayed and fading. The canopy over the bed had a few holes in it. A thin layer of dust covered the mantle of a small fireplace set into the wall. There was a window letting in bright sunlight and I moved over to look outside.
I was on the third floor of a keep surrounded by the walls and turrets of a modest castle. A castle that had fallen into serious disrepair. Did this represent the state of my inner mind? One tower was shattered and the curtain wall under it damaged. The lower bailey was full of litter. I could see a few soldiers walking around the allure, keeping watch.
I have people in my subconscious?
Someone behind me cleared their throat.
Whirling, I discovered a familiar old man standing in the door of the bedroom. What was left of his hair formed a white halo around his head, his face was unshaven and covered with several days of growth. He was dressed like a poor and tattered manservant, but carried himself with a dignified air.
“Woodhouse?”
“It’s nice to see the master at home,” He said with a proper English accent. “There are many matters that require the master’s attention.”
“Uh, sure,” I said, hanging the key around my neck and tucking it in my shirt. “And who are you again?”
“Your personal manservant, of course” he said with a slight bow. Walking over to the steel door, he pulled it closed and it locked with a solid thunk. “Master should always keep his inner sanctum closed. One never knows if something nasty will creep in.”
“Thank you, uh, Woodhouse. I’ll remember that,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “So what needs tending and how do things work around here?”
He smiled and beckoned me with a white gloved hand. “If master would be so kind as to follow me, I’ll introduce him to the staff and explain the duties and obligations of his domain.”
I’m 99.9% certain that everyone here is just me wearing a mask, so I shrugged and followed Woodhouse out of the bedroom and into the rest of my subconscious.
Five minutes later I was on the ground floor and seated on a shabby throne with the cast of a popular —and probably very copyright protected— animation in front of me. Woodhouse was the head butler and my personal manservant. Pam was the cook and demanded that I start importing sugar and alcohol before she was shushed by Woodhouse. Carol was a maid. Krieger was chancellor and Cyril was the steward. Archer and Lana were in charge of security. Ray was the marshal in charge of everything from the stables to the blacksmith.
I stared in disbelief at the motley crew kneeling in front of me. No wonder my inner mind was in such shambles. I was overcome with an irrational sense of anger at myself.
“Arright, listen up,” I barked, my voice echoing around the room. “I swear to God that I will fire every single one of you and hire circus clowns to replace you if you keep fucking things up. No joke. Circus clowns, got it?”
I ran a hand over my face as Ray pissed himself. “The only reason I’m not putting a boot in your asses right now is because I realise that you’re aspects of me, and the people you represent are pretty damn good at their jobs when they give enough of a shit to actually do them. As a team, you’re dysfunctionally fantastic and always seem to come out ahead no matter the odds.”
Heaving a sigh, I continued. “Things have changed and I need to get my shit together. I’m going to need every one of you to pull your weight and help me help you. Get back to your duties, I’ll meet you one on one later.”
My subconscious caretakers scurried out of the room.
“I’ll have one of the maids tend to the piss,” Woodhouse assured me.
“Never mind that,” I snapped. “I honestly had no idea my mind was such a shit show. I’m very disappointed in myself.” I pictured the Angry, Sad, and Disgusted counters on my personal movies clicking up. “Show me what needs to be done and let’s get started.”
During Woodhouse’s walking tour, everything clicked into place. This was some altered version of Bodiam castle, a location that was on my bucket list of places to visit. The royal council room, located behind the throne room, contained a “living” tapestry on the wall that showed the castle and surrounding land in real time. The castle was located in the middle of a small lake, and a single wood bridge led to the mainland. A small town surrounded the lake and a wall encircled the town. Outside the wall, the land was an irregular patchwork of forest and field, with a stinking swamp to the south. The entire “kingdom” was maybe ten miles across, surrounded by impassable mountains with innumerable creeks that fed the lake which drained into the southern swamp.
“Zombies are the problem, sir.” Woodhouse said, as I surveyed the living tapestry of my mental domain.
“Zombies?” I prompted.
“Yes sir, Zombies” Woodhouse continued. “Nasty bitey things that come in from the mountains and harass the peasants. They’ve gotten especially worse over the last few months. The soldiers do what they can, but they seem to have lost all motivation. Probably because they haven’t been paid.”
“And who pays them?”
“Typically chancellor Krieger is in charge of financial matters, although Steward Figgis has taken over the duty, sir.”
“Then let’s make Figgis our first stop.”
“Very good, sir.”
The office of the steward was run by Cyril Figgis, who managed the kingdom in my absence. It was overflowing with paperwork and charts, books and scrolls piled high on every flat surface. Cyril was desperately attempting to tidy things when Woodhouse and I walked in.
“Yo..you..your majesty,” Cyril stuttered, bowing low. Scrolls fell from his overloaded arms, spilling across the floor. He dropped to his knees and scrambled to gather them up. “I didn’t expect you to visit so soon. Please forgive the mess, housekeeping has been slacking…”
This was the guy who ran things while I was conscious.
“Shut up, Cyril” I said. “You’re responsible for everything in this office. That includes keeping it organised and tidy.”
“Y..yes milord.”
“It’s my understanding that you’re in charge of making sure everyone gets paid. So why aren’t we paying people?” I asked.
“We’re nearly out of Fuks, your majesty. I’ve been saving them for emergencies.”
“Fucks?”
“Fuks,” Cyril explained, pushing a pile of books off a large chest and opening it. Reaching inside he pulled out two small bags and emptied them on top of his cluttered desk. “Gold and Silver Fuks, the currency of the kingdom. I can’t maintain the kingdom when I have no Fuks to give.”
Behold the subconscious kingdom of Vincent J. Carter, it runs on Fuks.
“So how do I get more fuks?” I asked, examining one of the coins. It had an image of me on one side and symbol on the other that could be interpreted as “peace among worlds”.
“You kill the zombies, your majesty.”
Of course I do.
Woodhouse and I left Cyril’s office and headed towards the office of the chancellor where Krieger worked. It seemed that Cyril took over financial matters when Krieger became erratic and proposed luring all the zombies into the city and setting it on fire. Not sure how that corresponds to my own self-destructive behaviour, but I’ve had some dark thoughts over the last couple of months and I’m sure they’re reflected here.
Krieger’s office was much neater in comparison to Cyril’s, but it wasn’t by much. Shelves lined the walls and were filled with an array of questionable items, including a still snapping zombie head in a jar. While the office of the chancellor was supposed to be in charge of financial matters, it looked more like a dodgy rummage sale.
Krieger was launching sword blades at a pig carcass when we walked in.
“What exactly are you doing?” I asked, standing in the doorway.
“Hm? Oh, your majesty!” he said, turning around and bowing deeply. “I’m testing a new invention. It’s a spring loaded hilt that shoots sword blades. Very useful for our soldiers.”
“Stupidest idea ever,” I snapped. “I hate everything about it.”
“Okay,” Krieger said, tossing the hilt into a nearby pile of junk. “But don’t blame me when you need to shoot a sword at a zombie and don’t have one.”
“So why aren’t you managing the financial affairs? Collecting taxes, paying people, stuff like that?”
“Because the population has declined so much none of that matters?”
“What do you mean?”
“Wellll, the population represents things you care about,” Krieger said, going into lecture mode. “And the zombies and other monsters are real or imagined problems in your way. Since you don’t care about too many things the population has shrunk to just what’s needed to keep everything running on the bare minimum of fuks. And since you don’t seem to have any long or short term goals, there’s no need to kill off the zombies and get more fuks. Everything is fine just the way it is.”
“No, it’s not Krieger” I said, grinding my teeth. “My mind is in a shambles. It’s a joke. I want it fixed. No, I want it better than fixed. I want it improved.”
“Oh! I’ve got just the thing for that!” He said, digging around in his pockets, “It’s a spring-loaded hilt that shoots swords!”
Pam and Cheryl were hanging out a gallery window jeering at Archer and Lana sparring in the inner courtyard.
“What the hell are you doing!” I snapped
They whirled in surprise and then dropped into deep curtseys.
“Your majesty!”
I took a deep breath, trying to regain my centre. “Get to work cleaning this place up. Find a room, clean it, and move on to the next. Start with my bedroom, then the throne room and the council chamber, then everything else.”
Cheryl spoke up. “Can’t do it. We got no fuks to clean with.”
“You need fuks to clean?”
“Gotta buy stuff,” Pam said. “Cleaning supplies, food. You wanna eat, you’re gonna have to spend some fuks.”
“Talk to Cyril,” I ordered. “Tell him I said to get you supplied.”
They ran off in the direction of the stewards office.
I watched Archer and Lana bashing each other enthusiastically through the window.
Several minutes later the sparring couple stopped and bowed when Woodhouse and I stepped into the inner courtyard.
“Your majesty”
“My liege”
“Enough,” I said. “If you have enough energy to smash each other, you have enough energy to smash zombies. Tell me what I need to know so I can start gathering fuks.”
Archer shrugged and spoke first. “You just kill the zombies and other monsters. They drop fuks.”
“Anything special about the zombies?” I asked. “Are they fast? Do people get turned into zombies when bitten?”
“Nope,” Lana said, resting her wooden sword on her shoulder. “Most of them are slow shamblers and just need a good wack to the head to kill them.”
“Some are special,” Archer interjected. “Occasionally you’ll have some fast ones, or those that need holy water to kill. They’re just bad memories, figments of your personality that need to be eliminated. Some are worse than others.”
“The zombies are bad memories?” I asked, imagining all the bad memories that I had.
“Memories, thoughts, insecurities, metaphysical mumbo-jumbo,” Woodhouse supplied. “They are endless, but constant vigilance can keep them under control.”
“So let’s get started,” I said. “Lead the way.”
Lana and Archer lead me up to the parapet over the front gate where I looked over at the dozens of zombies milling about aimlessly in front of the entrance to my mind. Pulling out my gun, I began to pick them off, easy as shooting fish in a barrel. The crack of my spell pistol attracted more zombies and I dispatched them with ease until no more were left around the gate. As I fired each shot I could feel some sort of existential energy flowing from me, draining some hidden reserve.
“Gather up the Fuks,” I commanded. “And Lana?”
“Mi’lord?”
“There’s no excuse for this. From now on, I expect the walls to be clear of all zombies.”
“Yes mi’lord,” she said, giving me a small bow.
Turning to Archer, I shook my head. “You’re obviously my personal narcissism, so just try to stay out of Lana’s way, or better yet - try to kill more zombies than her. If you think you can.”
Archer scoffed. “No contest. I took top marks in sharpshooting.”
“That means I should expect to see results by tomorrow. I look forward to it.”
Archer looked panicked for a moment then smiled. “Sure, I can give you results.”
Turning back to Woodhouse I said “Show me what else need attending.”
Woodhouse led me through the town that represented my mind, pointing out each business that had fallen into disrepair, suggested others that needed improvements, and additions that would benefit me. In the distance, I could hear Lana and Archer shooting at the crowd of zombies and with each echoing shot I felt a tiny bit better about everything.
[INDEX]

I just came back from a mini trip to the east coast, mainly to see ART Gatsby. I saw it on Sunday which ended up being the first preview, so that was extra special. Did a few days in NY as well and had only enough slots to see 2 shows on Broadway. One of those I chose to see PMP Gatsby, because I love the novel and wanted to see all the iterations of Gatsby.
The tone of the two Gatsbys is fundamentally different. PMP focuses more on flashiness, while ART focuses on the nitty gritty. I loved the set for PMP and wouldn't have minded them getting a Tony nom for set design. I also loved the ART set but for different reasons. It's a lot more "industrial" looking but I think it suits the show very well. I'll also note that a couple of the set pieces hadn't been put in yet, so I'm sure when they're added they'll enhance it more.
The score for ART is leaps and bounds ahead of PMP. I'm a Florence fan but not a super fan, and I could clearly tell her touches throughout. It's very moving and I found a lot of depth in the storytelling through song. A couple of the songs in Act 1 fell a little flat for me but I loved all of Act 2.
The PMP score is catchy, but the lyrics are something else - My Green Light is in my opinion, one of the worst written musical theater songs in recent times.
Now yes, I know there's the argument that not everything has to follow the book completely and it's called an adaptation, which I agree with - but when you're creating a musical called the Great Gatsby, I think it's fair to expect the show to have some attempt at uncovering the the themes of the Great Gatsby.
I thought the performances in both shows were pretty strong, with good vocals. Noah J Ricketts was the standout for me at PMP, and Solea Pfeiffer and Charlotte MacInnes were the standouts at ART. Overall, I preferred the Isaac Powell/Charlotte MacInnes duo over the Jeremy Jordan/Eva Noblezada duo. I know Jeremy and Eva are Broadway darlings, and I enjoyed the performances, but there was just no depth and very little substance. The score and book are very much a Spark notes version of Gatsby. Also Jeremy's accent was a little off putting - I'm not sure what exactly he was trying to go for here.
I got a rush ticket for $40 for PMP so I'm happy with the amount I paid, but I regret wasting one of my slots on this as I had limited time in the city. I'm 99% sure all the audience acclaim is only because of the leads - if it were other random actors, this show would not be making money. I do think it's a good "razzle dazzle" Broadway show. If it wasn't called Gatsby and was marketed as just a romantic musical, I would've been more forgiving. It's a shame the creative team didn't spend more time working out the kinks in the show before transferring.
ART isn't perfect by any means, but it's got very solid bones (especially considering I saw the first preview, so I'm sure they'll be adapting and changing things as necessary). It isn't afraid to explore the themes of the book, and attempts to provide powerful lessons.
The tagline for ART is "An American Myth", while it seems the tagline for PMP is "The party's roaring on at Gatsby". I think the two taglines are good summaries for the differences in the production. One is thought-provoking, the other is a rich people's party.

Every single day there is a question from someone here saying "where do I start for AWS Solutions Architect Associate" when there are a few hundred articles from those who passed already.
So here is a master list of resources to help those who have this question.
Cloud Practitioner version of this is here
If you find this post useful - upvote. I am happy to take feedback / suggestions / changes etc - please comment!

tl;dr

1. Get 1 video course and watch it end to end - the subreddit favourites are below / scroll down further for links

• I cannot afford any courses / need a free option - get Andrew Brown's YouTube course
• I want to just learn bare minimum to pass exam - Stephane Maarek on Udemy
• I really want to learn this AWS and cloud stuff well and be good at it - Adrian Cantrill

1. Read whitepapers / review new announcements from re:Invent 2023
2. Do one decent set of practice exams from one provider- subreddit favourites below / scroll down further for links

• Tutorialsdojo (personal favourite - I passed ALL my exams using "TD")
• Udemy (Stephane Maarek)

Take and Pass exam!

Subreddit Search

Following my own usual guidance, you can always use the subreddit search feature and read articles from everyone in the last month who posted about this exam / passed it. There is a wealth of detail / experience here to learn from :
Link : https://www.reddit.com/AWSCertifications/search/?q=saa+solutions+architect+associate+pass&type=link&t=month

Exam Details

If you have absolutely no clue about the exam - start here.
The exam code is SAA-C03
AWS page with all the details : https://aws.amazon.com/certification/certified-solutions-architect-associate/
Always read the Exam Guide (tells you whats in / out of scope) : https://d1.awsstatic.com/training-and-certification/docs-sa-assoc/AWS-Certified-Solutions-Architect-Associate_Exam-Guide.pdf

Minimum Viable Path to Certification

Most people usually need 3 things to pass the exam

1. A single video based course introducing AWS and all the key exam topics

Typically these are courses where someone reads from some slides, shows you the AWS console and how to use it and then gives you tips on what to remember - there are free and paid versions of these.

1. Additional material on key topics.

For SAA-C03 - there are some recommended whitepapers on WAF and also since 6 months have passed since the last re:Invent 2023 - any of the major announcements from then now are in scope for the exam. You wont see too many new things but there is a chance there are some random questions that were not covered in any practice exam / course.

1. One good quality practice exam

Note : do not fall for some random "dump" found on internet or a file your mate gave you to study.
Also note - you do NOT need more than 1 of each category. You can buy more than one practice exam for sure but doing one is enough IMHO.

1. Video Courses

Free Video based Courses

Free from AWS's own training service (Skillbuilder) :
There is an "Exam Prep" course from Skillbuilder but note that this just covers the high level domains but is not a comprehensive deep dive.
https://explore.skillbuilder.aws/learn/course/external/view/elearning/14760/exam-prep-aws-certified-solutions-architect-associate-saa-c03
Optional : There is a slightly extended version of this in the paid tier with additional exam-style questions, flashcards and more importantly FREE hands on labs and the official practice exam.
https://explore.skillbuilder.aws/learn/course/external/view/elearning/14776/exam-prep-aws-certified-solutions-architect-associate-saa-c03-with-practice-material
There is a 7 day (extended to 10 days sometimes) free trial for the paid tier which can help you cram this. You can subscribe, immediately cancel but still enjoy 7 days free.
Please note that this course is not enough on its own to pass and you may want to try additional material below.
YouTube based video course
This course below is a better alternative to the SkillBuilder course above but is about 50 hours.
Andrew Brown is an AWS community hero who runs his own training site called exampro.co but offers most of the material for free on FreeCodeCamp's YouTube channel.
The 2024 refresh of the SAA course is here : https://youtu.be/c3Cn4xYfxJY
Andrew also has additional (free / paid) content on his site to check out.

PAID Video based courses

Adrian Cantrill's courses :
Adrian Cantrill is an independent content creator and has his own site from where you can obtain courses.
His courses go above and beyond what the exam needs and this is exactly why the community loves these courses as you get more practical knowledge than just cramming for the exam. The additional coverage means these courses are longer and not as cheap as other courses that cover just the exam material but in the general opinion of everyone who has taken the course it is absolutely worth it.
Link : https://learn.cantrill.io/
Udemy Courses :
Udemy is a marketplace for courses created by independent authors.
Two of the well known authors are mentioned below but please note that Udemy's pricing model can be a bit weird. One day it may show 150 USD for a course and another day 15 USD. This price it high and discount it heavily model catches out most people - so NEVER pay more than USD 20 for anything on Udemy.
Just wait for a day or so and prices may change. Opening Udemy in another incognito browser etc usually yields a different price or follow the authors on social media for codes that shrink the cost.
Stephane Maarek :
Go via his site : https://courses.datacumulus.com/ for links to his Solutions Architect Associate with the best available coupon.
Neil Davis :
https://www.udemy.com/course/aws-certified-solutions-architect-associate-hands-on/
Either one of these Udemy courses is sufficient. You still need to combine it with practice exams but you do not need more than 1 video course.
Other sites :
Exampro.co
As mentioned above Andrew Brown has his own site with additional material over his YouTube course.
Cloud Academy
https://cloudacademy.com/learning-paths/aws-solutions-architect-associate-saa-c03-certification-preparation-for-aws-1-7446/ has both a learning plan and a practice exam at the end.

2. Additional Material

I will update this section soon with some additional guidance soon as I am not happy yet (please let me know in comments if there are key additional coverage I should include) - I am scouring recent exam pass posts to see whats current and also want to add links to re:Invent 2023 announcements. I also am thinking of adding in links to "cheat sheets" / docs - let me know if this would be useful.
WAF - Well Architected Framework
https://aws.amazon.com/architecture/well-architected/
You need to know at some decent depth on what the pillars are and what they do.
Read the whitpapers from https://aws.amazon.com/whitepapers/
Specifically I found the Reliability and Cost Optimization white papers very useful.

3. Practice Exams

Please do NOT fall for "dumps" - if anyone offers you the EXACT list of AWS questions or guarantees the question bank matches the exam - these are dumps. The links below are either official or well regarded sources.
Free :
AWS skillbuilder has one free official exam with just 20 free questions.
To be honest its not really worth it - you can search for "Official practic exam skillbuilder SAA-C03" using your favourite search engine to find it.
exampro.co
Has 1 free practice exam you can sign up to.
Paid :
Official Practice exam
https://explore.skillbuilder.aws/learn/course/external/view/elearning/13593/exam-prep-official-practice-exam-aws-certified-solutions-architect-associate-saa-c03-english - there is a free 7 day trial available for you to use as this exam may not be worth a month's subscription fee
Tutorialsdojo.com
Highly recommended independent resource for practice exam questions with a very useful "review mode" and every question comes with detailed explanations on answers
Udemy
Stephane Maarek : again go via his site : https://courses.datacumulus.com/
Neal Davis : https://www.udemy.com/course/aws-certified-solutions-architect-associate-hands-on/
Other popular sites :
Exampro.co
Andrew Brown has I believe 3 practice exams as well on his site. One is free - the other two you pay for.
Whizlabs
I havent used them personally but https://www.whizlabs.com/aws-solutions-architect-associate/
Cloud Academy
https://cloudacademy.com/learning-paths/aws-solutions-architect-associate-saa-c03-certification-preparation-for-aws-1-7446/ has both a learning plan and a practice exam at the end.

Not Recommended sites :

Sites that are sadly NOT recommended anymore - Avoid A Cloud Guru / Pluralsight as their courses are not considered the best anymore. They used to be leaders but somehow have fallen behind and their subscription model doesnt work in a world with cheap one time purchase courses.
If you want a sandbox to experiment - then ACG offers one but so do Whizlabs and Tutorialsdojo.

Optional / Complementary material

I have an article where you can find complementary / alternatives to the Solutions Architect Exam - most are free and includes the "AWS Knowledge : Architecting Free Digital Badge"
https://www.reddit.com/AWSCertifications/comments/1d1o522/no_payment_options_to_learn_aws_with_digital/
This material isnt exam focused but if you want some free alternatives / cannot afford to pay for the exam - then check out the link.

FAQ

Q. Do I need ALL this material
A. No. Just one of each is fine. Example : just Adrian's Course + tutorialsdojo
Q. Do I really need to do hands on work
A. Yes - it is recommended that you get some hands on work at the Associate level. You can use one of the sandboxes but be careful using your own free tier account that you dont end up with leaving resources running too long and getting a big bill. Always secure your account and set billing alarms and dont create an account till you know how to do these!
Q. Where can I find vouchers for the exam
A. check this thread : https://www.reddit.com/AWSCertifications/comments/18woit6/2024_aws_vouchers_exam_discounts_othe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Q. Can I cheat my way using Dumps that I found online / my mate gave me / found on GitHub / YouTube?
A. Using dumps there is a high chance you fail and/or get caught / banned - the risk isnt worth it. Stick with genuine resources.
Q. Can I pass with just free resources as I cannot afford the resources
A. Its possible but please it is recommended to atleast spend on decent practice exams. If you cannot afford the exam / resources - just get the free digital badges (Architecting) for the interim
Q. I skipped CCP / CLF - is that okay
A. Yes - its okay to have skipped the foundational level - almost all the courses above teach you from scratch.
Q. Can someone who is new to IT do this exam
A. Yes - Many people start from scratch and get to the Associate level. Just make sure you are investing the time required.
Q. Is it worth it?
A. Plenty of threads on this subreddit covering this. You have to make up your own mind if its worth it to you or not.
Q. I dont code or want to - is this course for me?
A. While there is no coding involved in the course - knowing how to use the AWS CLI / being able to do some basic scripting would be very helpful anyway. You can also use free tools like CoPilot / Code Whisperer to help you with pieces you struggle with.
Q. Can I use ChatGPT / Amazon Q etc to learn
A. Many of these Generative AI tools can still give you incorrect answers. So do not rely on them but if it helps you to quickly get the concept - go ahead and double check the results against official docs.
Q. Are there books to learn from instead of videos
A. Books get out of date too quickly and I do not recommend learning from them. However there is an official Sybex Guide to the exam and tutorialsdojo / Neal Davis (Digital Cloud) also have an ebook. You can google for links to these.
Good Luck folks!

My thoughts on love
It is currently 3:30 am, and I cannot sleep. My mind is racing, not allowing me a single moment of reprieve. 27 years of age, I have been fortunate enough to have loved over my years. My current heartbreak is the longest I have dealt with and the longest relationship I have held at six years. In my opinion, true love only exists for one person, at least in the romantic aspect. There are those who practice polygamy and open relationships. However, for myself, there is only one true love. My definition of love has changed over the course of my young life, from saying “I love you” to a middle school girlfriend because I had thought at the time what we had was love. Love changes for us as we get older; the things we hold in appreciation change, and the way we show our love changes as well.
Past Love
Love that my present self would not consider love at all. There was a time when I gave everything to my partner and became so selfless that I did not take into account what I wanted from the relationship. She was all I wanted, being close to her and being a part of her world. I know now that this is purely infatuation.
Recent Love
My most recent love, I am still working through the wreckage it left behind after it all crashed. I was still in a state of infatuation; however, I did receive portions of what I wanted out of our relationship. The lack of satisfaction from my end was not due to a lack of open communication of my needs but simply a lack of chemistry and timing for what I had wanted in life. She was focused on building herself up, and I tried my best to support her as much as I could. However, this took its toll on me. I sacrificed everything and coped with the lack of satisfaction from my end by filling the void with financial spending and indulging in quick and easy food to give myself a shot of dopamine. By the end, I had spiraled so out of control that I had to leave and seek help, mentally and emotionally. I had moved across the country to find a place where I could process my emotions and try to build myself back up. This was when it became too much for her to hold on to; she had broken up with me. I was distraught, I was broken, I had hit the lowest point in my life. A relationship I gave everything to, all in hopes that it would pay itself back once she was done building herself. However, I was a fool for hoping that, in truth, I was a bonus and never a priority. I was never her safe person or the person she would find comfort in. I’m not sure if I was at a point, but things changed as I started to spiral. All I know in the end is that my world was torn apart. I didn’t recognize the person who stared back at me in the mirror anymore. I had stopped taking care of myself; I had given up in life. Your most recent love will always sting the most if your definition of love changes as mine does over time.
Future Love
To my future love, I hope to be your comfort and be the person you seek when you need to recharge in life. I wish to give you that peace that you deserve, and I hope that you give me that peace as well. I hope that I do not find you too late. However, I know that is not how life works. I wish to spend as much time with you as I can. I am proud of where I am now; on certain days, I do not feel as though much has changed, but I do know I am better now than I was. I hope you can be proud of me and how much I’ve done, and I’ll be proud of you and all the work you've accomplished for yourself.

Welcome to the Community Support Thread!

This Steam Guide goes over how to troubleshoot download and connection issues.

This Steam Guide goes over how to troubleshoot web-page and other connection issues.

How to re-install Steam. This method will NOT remove your games.

Is your account hijacked? Read this.

We have a dedicated support channel in our Discord server that you can also post in.
We invite everyone to help other users in our Community Support Threads and on our Discord server.
Please take more than 10 seconds to write your question. A well structured and good-looking comment goes a long way in getting someone to help you, and makes your question a lot easier to understand.
Do not delete your comments: People find questions in these threads through Googling the same issue, and please edit your comment with a solution if you find one.
There are no magicians here. Some questions wont be answered or replied to. Consider using other things like the Steam Community Forums, Google, or a different support forum if no one here can offer any help. Additionally, every game on Steam has it's own dedicated Community Forum, and you can also contact Steam Support regarding a specific product. Consider asking your game-specific questions there. Most games also have a dedicated subreddit.
Only Steam Support can solve personal account issues such as payment issues or your account getting hijacked. We can however give advice on what to do in a situation like that. No one, including Steam Support, can assist with item/trade scams.
/Steam is not affiliated with Valve in any way whatsoever.

Additional Information

• Search for previous Support Threads.
• You can view average Steam Support response times here.
• This is our guide on what to do if your account has been hijacked.
• We recommend you check out the troubleshooting section of the subreddit wiki to see if your issue is listed there.
• If you have proof of a scammer you should report their Steam profile and report them on SteamRep. Do not post about it here.
• This Steam Support article details what counts as proof of ownership.
• Here is our full list of safe sites to buy Steam keys from.

First of all, welcome to the Neverwinter subreddit. This is the subreddit for the Neverwinter MMO by Cryptic. Please take some time to read our Rules.
You are free to post trading threads here (provided that they do not violate the subreddit's rules), or you can use the NeverwinterTradePost subreddit. Please make sure that you flair your post with the platform you play on.
If you are wanting to chat with people, the Protector's Enclave Discord server is available. While it's not an official Discord, it is the closest thing we have to one, and there are devs and other PWE & Cryptic staff present. The subreddit also has its own built in chat system, but it's buggy and gets cleared of text often (due to bugs with Reddit).
We have a list of recruiting guilds. If you wish to have your guild added to the list, leave a LINK here in this thread. See the list for more details.
Our subreddit's wiki is in the process of being updated. Check it out to see if it's been updated!
If you are new to Reddit, please expect your first posts and comments to need manual approval from a Moderator first before they can officially be posted/shared. This is standard for all New Accounts, we just ask that you be patient while waiting for a manual approval.
If you have any questions at all, please feel free to post them here. For moderation questions, please send a PM to Neverwinter. Thanks!

TLDR: Nannying is a very hard job. There would probably be a lot more nannies who work as hard as one needs to do this job well if the pay matched the value and difficulty of the work.
I’ve been pretty active in this sub lately because I’ve been feeling unhappy at my job and it helps to have a community. I wrote this a while ago and have been nervous to post it but I think it’s important. I saw a post in nannyemployers asking where all of the “good” nannies have gone and this was the response I was writing until I realised the replies were to be from NP only.. I would post in the nanny employers sub if I weren’t terrified of the response. I know I’m singing to the choir here and I know saying it out loud doesn’t change much. But I am so, so angry, so imma just send it.
As a nanny who has two college degrees, practices Montessori, Reggio Emilia, and RIE, and as someone who has always loved and wanted to work with kids, there simply is not enough money in this career path to stick to it. I personally simply cannot rationalise doing the amount of physical and emotional work that is required for me to do this job as well as I want to for the typical pay, even though I absolutely love it.
For my background, experience, and approach, I am in a severely underpaid position (even when disregarding my qualifications it would still be severely underpaid.) Because of my personal and financial situation at the time of my job search, I did not have the luxury to wait for a unicorn family to offer me the salary I was looking for. I found a family that was a good fit and accepted the position even though I felt it was very much underpaid. I am now in a position where I am continuously battling wanting to work as hard as I can for these kids and this family, and realising I can’t break my back for them while being this underpaid (I mean I literally threw my back out during this job). I’m not someone who breaks a commitment easily but I guess I could move from family to family, waiting to find one who is able to financially respect the value of this work, or I could stick it out and get $2/hr raises every year, but I can’t wait 10 years to finally get close to being paid what I know a proper nanny is worth. Yes there certainly are some nanny employers who properly respect this work and are able to financially meet it’s value, but in my experience they are few and far between. I have found that the overwhelming majority of nannies are severely underpaid and overworked.
Nannies are asked to have flexible schedules, work long hours, take on a laundry list of responsibilities, develop personal emotional relationships with children that aren’t theirs while keeping a professional distance, pay for and organise their own continued training, be emotionally and socially engaged with children all day long, and more. But above all, the most important aspect of nannying is managing our stress is such a way that allows us to stay in an executive state of functioning all day every single day. People deeply underestimate and undervalue the amount of hard and constant work it takes to keep oneself in an executive state of functioning day in and day out, especially in a high stress position where you are helping other people regulate their bodies all day on top of yours, AND are constantly sick and tired and being pushed and tested. I think that this ability is what makes the difference in a “good” nanny and is often the most overlooked, misunderstood, and undervalued aspect of the job responsibilities.
I want to be a good nanny, it’s my dream job to be the best nanny there is, and I used to think that I could accept being in an undervalued role because “it takes a village” and I wanted to do my part and this was my passion. But it doesn’t feel good to be undervalued financially and socially, in fact it feels really really bad, and this is why I will no longer be pursuing a career as a nanny. Even if I found my unicorn position, it wouldn’t change the fact that the overwhelming majority of my nanny peers are still underpaid and undervalued, and that doesn’t feel good. It makes me want to leave, and I think all of the other underpaid nannies should leave too. (We need a union or something, is this a thing?)
The market is oversaturated and undervalued. Not everyone needs a nanny now that quarantine is over (a full-time nanny, not babysitter or after school care). I have both worked at a preschool and as a nanny and I have found that a setting with multiple children of similar age is far better developmentally for a child than spending most of their time with a single adult and a sibling or two, even for young babies. I think a healthy mix of a daycare setting and family time at home is probably best but can be the most difficult to achieve with the current work culture. This is no one’s fault, the overworking culture is a burden of late stage capitalism that we all face. However, it is the burden of the parents to solve their work/life balance. This is a very big part of what one signs up for when becoming a parent. It is not the burden of the nanny to work more for less or the children to miss being with their parents (I’d say two doctor NP are pretty much the only ones who’d get a pass here).
It’s no one person’s fault that nannies are financially undervalued, the value of personal childcare and domestic work has a long saturated history fraught with misogyny and racism. Have you compared the average wage of a plumber (male dominated domestic work) to that of a nanny (female dominated domestic work)? And don’t tell me plumbing requires more training or is harder than nannying, I assure you they are of comparable difficulty especially considering there’s no step by step instructions on YouTube for nannying. (And if you do consider plumbing to be that much hard than nannying, what do you think gives you that perception? I mean as a parent, one should know that nannying absolutely is not just playing with kids all day, even if that’s all you ask your nanny to do. What subconscious bias could be giving you the perception that bringing up children is less difficult and of less value than screwing pipes together? Have you taken a race or gender studies class? Have you seen The Help? Don’t answer, just think.)
Plumbers make average $28/hr in the states, mechanics $26, for nannies it’s $20 (and that’s being generous). That’s a ¢70 on the dollar comparison. It is time we all realise that nannying is an underpaid and undervalued role and work to change that. If the wage being offered across the board better matched the value of the work, I think one would find a lot more serious nannies and a lot more current nannies taking the job more seriously.
I didn’t get it at first, why so many nannies at the park seemed so burnt out and disinterested in the kids. Oh boy do I get it now. I want nothing more than to do my best in this role, but in the past few months after nearly being stiffed by NP, not receiving a bonus from them when I really thought I would, and overall realising I am being taken advantage of and am a human mine to them, I have realised that I can no longer put my all into this job for my own health and sanity. Being properly compensated is the primary motivating aspect of all work especially in the society we are a part of. After loosing my sense of respect from NP, I’ve lost most of the non-financial motivation I started out with and am left with what little motivation my petite pay check gives me, and the kids can tell.
Since my fallout with NP, I have pulled back emotionally from the kids. I’m not mean and I am still doing every responsibility in my contract to the letter (and then some still), but I am no longer as emotionally available to them as I was. I am shorter and more curt with them, I don’t take as much time with them to sit and talk about every feeling they have, and I’m not working as hard to help them break the bad habits NP give them that NP specifically ask me to break (one example - NP want NK to walk everywhere with me but then always use the stroller with NP and every time we go out it’s a fight to use the stroller or not. Guess who’s been using the stroller far more often lately). Anyway, the past week my NK 3f has been quietly crying before her nap and I’m sure it’s because she’s felt me pull away from her. It’s breaking my heart and I’ve been trying to give her extra cuddles, but I have to protect myself first now. This is a job and these aren’t my kids and I can no longer rationalise putting them first emotionally especially considering I am burnt TF out, torn down, and left feeling used up and tossed aside without any recognition or proper thanks from NP.
I don’t know what the perfect number is, the number I would say many NP would probably think is too high, and maybe they’re not looking for a nanny who works as hard as I and others do. But I can tell you that $17/hr before taxes in a VHCOL area does not even come close to close. I think we can all easily recognise that the financial value of this job needs to better match the value of the work, in general and across the board. We’re talking about the people caring for and raising the future generations here, I mean how is this not the most coveted role in our society?
This is my Roman Empire and I will die on this hill every. single. time.

Exploring the Wonders of Tirthan Valley: A Guide to Unforgettable Experiences at Treetop Treehouse Bahu

Nestled in the heart of the pristine Himalayas, Tirthan Valley is a hidden gem that promises a perfect blend of adventure, tranquility, and natural beauty. Staying at the Treetop Treehouse Bahu, you’ll find yourself immersed in a serene environment that offers a unique perspective of this enchanting valley. To make your visit truly memorable, we've compiled a list of the best things to do in Tirthan Valley. Whether you're an avid trekker, a nature enthusiast, or someone looking for a peaceful retreat, Tirthan Valley has something for everyone.

1. Trekking Adventures

One of the most exciting things to do in Tirthan Valley is trekking. The valley boasts numerous trails that cater to all levels of trekkers. From easy walks through lush forests to challenging hikes up the rugged terrain, you’ll find a trek that suits your pace. Popular trails include the Great Himalayan National Park trek, where you can explore diverse flora and fauna, and the Serolsar Lake trek, which offers stunning views of the lake and surrounding landscapes.

1. Fishing and Angling

For those who enjoy fishing, the Tirthan River is a haven. The river is teeming with trout, making it a perfect spot for angling. Spend a peaceful day by the river, trying your luck at catching some fish while soaking in the natural beauty around you. It’s one of the more relaxing things to do in Tirthan Valley, offering a great way to unwind and connect with nature.

1. Visit the Great Himalayan National Park

A UNESCO World Heritage site, the Great Himalayan National Park is a must-visit. Home to a variety of wildlife, including snow leopards, Himalayan tahr, and colorful pheasants, the park offers a unique opportunity to witness nature in its purest form. Guided tours are available, providing insights into the rich biodiversity and conservation efforts in the area.

1. Bird Watching

Tirthan Valley is a paradise for bird watchers. The valley’s diverse habitats attract a wide range of bird species, making it an ideal spot for birding. Early morning walks are particularly rewarding, as you’ll have the chance to spot rare and exotic birds amidst the tranquil surroundings.

1. Exploring Local Villages

Immersing yourself in the local culture is another delightful thing to do in Tirthan Valley. Visit the charming villages of Gushaini, Nagini, and Banjar to experience the traditional Himachali way of life. Interact with the locals, taste authentic cuisine, and explore ancient temples that reflect the region’s rich cultural heritage.

1. River Crossing and Rappelling

For thrill-seekers, river crossing and rappelling are must-try activities. The Tirthan River provides an excellent setting for these adventures. With the guidance of experienced instructors, you can safely enjoy the adrenaline rush and create lasting memories.

1. Enjoy a Bonfire Night

End your day with a cozy bonfire night at Treetop Treehouse Bahu. Gather around the fire with your loved ones, share stories, roast marshmallows, and enjoy the starry night sky. It’s the perfect way to relax and reflect on your day’s adventures.

Conclusion

Tirthan Valley is a treasure trove of natural wonders and exciting activities. Staying at Treetop Treehouse Bahu not only offers a unique lodging experience but also places you at the doorstep of these incredible adventures. From trekking and fishing to cultural explorations and thrilling sports, there are countless things to do in Tirthan Valley that cater to all interests and ages. Plan your trip now and discover the magic of this beautiful valley!

Over a year ago, I was going through a particularly stressful time and went to my neurologist concerned that I was possibly having Medication Adaption Headaches (MAH aka Medication Overuse Headaches aka Rebound Headaches) or would develop them.
I was having a migraine or headache almost daily. I had been cycling through pain meds to avoid using too much of the same thing and too many triptans mistakenly thinking that this would keep me safe.
My neurologist didn't take any time to discuss why I thought I might be having MAH or what should be done if I was already having them. He did give me the prescription for Aimovig that I asked for, but also a recommendation and prescription for Panadol migraine (same as Excedrin migraine) which I had never taken before. The prescription wasn’t needed to get the Panadol migraine, but it was needed to have it reimbursed by my insurance. I thought because it is OTC in the US (which is where I'm from) that it would be better (again mistakenly) than taking so many triptans.
The aimovig was like putting a bandaid on a gash that needed stitches. I made it another year before I had an absolutely horrible flare-up about 60 days ago that led me to do my own research because my neurologist had failed me horribly and I decided it was most definitely MAH and I needed to detox.
The Detox
I quit taking all pain OTC pain meds and triptans for 60 days (as is recommended in most treatment guides). It took me roughly 9 days to have a noticeable drop in my migraines back to episodic. My migraines have lessened in severity and length over the last 60 days. Though the first week or so was the most challenging to get through, I also had hormonal migraines that were tough. The few other non-hormonal migraines I had later in the 60 days, I was able to clearly identify triggers for. This hadn’t been the case for me in the past. I've also now been able to abort a hormonal migraine with other methods listed here.
Other Options for Pain Relief
(for any meds or supplements always consult your doctor)
Ginger is a great natural painkiller. There is some BS study that says it is as effective as sumatriptan, it most definitely isn't and I'm not going to try to sell it as that, but I would say it is probably as effective as an NSAID. Unfortunately, I’m unable to get GCRP inhibitors where I am so I didn’t have other migraine abortive options, just this.
Benadryl (note: this is the brand name in US & CA, it’s different in Europe) helps me with migraine pain during an attack (sometimes even helps avoid an attack).
A TENS unit was very helpful with migraine pain, but also with cramps during my 60 day detox and I’ll definitely continue using it going forward.
Migraine Cap was especially helpful after the migraine to help with the residual soreness.
Migraine Relief Nasal Inhaler, hot showers, decongestant meds, and decongestant nasal spray* help me because nasal congestion is a major symptom for me. When the congestion is worse, the pain is worse. If I can relieve some congestion, I can also relieve some pain. So I use these as needed depending on the severity of the congestion.
*It is important to note that decongestant nasal sprays can cause rebound congestion if used frequently, follow dosage and warnings on the label.
Myofascial Release & dry needling - this isn’t so much for migraine pain, but it helps me manage back and neck pain that contributes to my migraines and helps me with pain management overall.
The Pain Relief Options That I Wish I Could Have Used or Tried
Balms and patches that you put on your forehead- personally my skin is too sensitive for it, I have tried in the past and it just makes my skin burn (but so does most sunscreen when applied to my face). I’m mentioning these because I think they are a great option for some people and as I was looking through this sub for more ideas of what I could use, they are something that I saw repeatedly that I wish my skin would allow me to use.
Celafy, Nerivio, and Relivion all looked like interesting devices, but sadly aren’t available where I am.
Heated eye massager also looked very appealing and should have been available, but the wrong item was delivered when I tried ordering it and I didn’t feel like trying my luck again. I will definitely get one when I go to the US.
GCRP-inhibitors - these aren’t available where I am so I didn’t have the option to use these as abortives while detoxing from pain meds. I definitely would like the option to be able to use these as abortives for migraines. One study did note they could cause MAH (this is listed below and linked) but there's no good research regarding this as they are so new. I just feel obligated to mention this.
About MAH
Please educate yourself. I have included links to sources. Consult your doctor if you think you might have MAH and advocate for treatment.
1 You have to add up your pain med use!!!
2 OTC Pain Meds+ Triptans + Rx Pain Meds* = 10 Days Maximum Per Month
*Opioids and butalbital may lead to MAH in about 5 days
3 Approximately 50% of patients with chronic migraine have MAH that may revert to episodic headache after drug withdrawal.
Chronic migraine is classified as 15 or more headache days w/ 8 migraine days a month.
Episodic Migraine is classified as 14 or fewer headache and migraine days a month.
4 The name for MAH changed a few times and the one I chose to use is focused on the mechanism that causes the condition rather than the name that sounds like it is blaming the patient (Medication Overuse Headaches). Here’s an article regarding the name dispute.
5 One article even listed GCRP inhibitors as possibly contributing to MAH. But as these medications are new, the research isn't there yet to say if they really do contribute. I just had found it surprising to see and felt obligated to note it.
6 Risk Factors

• Having a primary headache disorder such as migraines.
• Having other chronic pain or gastrointestinal issues.
• Being less physical activity (defined as less than 3 hours of hard physical activity per week)
• Smoking
• Mood disorders
• OCD
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Substance-related disorders
• Cutaneous allodynia 7 (Cutaneous allodynia (CA) is defined as pain resulting from application of a non-noxious stimulus to normal skin)

8 Withdrawal treatment does not only reduce the headache attacks, but also improves responsiveness to acute or prophylactic drugs. Withdrawal symptoms normally last between 2 to 10 days, and do not persist longer than 4 weeks.
Going Forward
I have a number of MAH risk factors including migraines, other chronic pain, anxiety, family history of substance-related disorders, being less physical activity (especially during the time that the stressful situation was happening), and cutaneous allodynia. Had I known about all of these risk factors and that alternating meds would not protect me from MAH, I would have done things very differently. I’ll have to be very careful to not develop MAH again, and actually am thinking of extending my detox because of my risk factors and some concerning statistics regarding allodynia in particular. For now I'm going to try to continue managing my pain with other methods while I can comfortably. Actually just last night I had a hormonal migraine that I managed to abort with a combination of things I listed here that just 2 months ago it would have been at least a level 4 with triptans.
When I do start using pain meds again, I’ll definitely be tracking meds more carefully and adhering to a strict 10 day max per month for OTCs plus triptans. I’ve made an annual tracker that you can print with the maximum days noted for reference.
To the Mods - I’ve noticed many posts with discussion related to MAH being removed. I’ve instructed others to consult their doctor thereby trying to adhere to the sub rules, please let me know if there is something else that might need to be adjusted in order to adhere to the rules.

Given the recent discussion of Shut Up And Ruck’s strength programming, I thought it might be appropriate to address a few lingering comments.
First, we’re not immune to criticism. It is perfectly reasonable to criticize whenever and whoever you want, even me. Clearly, the anonymity of the internet provides ample license to do so. I’m not infallible and I make at least one mistake every fiscal year. I get downvoted all the time and I recognize that many things that I say are taken as gospel based on my years of providing accurate information. I don’t take this leniency lightly. I’ve earned this gift and I don’t look gift horses in the mouth. I certainly don’t shy away from criticizing others, but I always seek to do so from a position of best intentions of the outcome. But if you think that it’s appropriate to draw conclusions like “He definitely doesn’t know what he’s talking about”, “It violates basic principles”, or my favorite “It looks like he stole this from X, Y, or Z” and you’re basing that on one tiny screenshot of one sample day of one singular domain absent of context of the entirety of the programming then you must be special. I wish I had that sort of clairvoyance.
Second, our programming is not a mistake. Is it aggressive? Absolutely. Is it wrong? Absolutely not. It is deliberate and intentional. A few points to consider:
-The higher percentages and rep ranges occur at the end of each cycle. You don’t start off at the high end, you finish there. The passage cited is 9 weeks post 1RM testing. At a minimum the higher % come 5 weeks after testing. You get stronger and the programming reflects that.
-Just because you’ve never done anything like this doesn’t mean much. We follow the evidence, and the literature clearly indicates that our recommendations are appropriate. Aggressive, but appropriate. Here are 6 sources, including some meta-analyses that bring the body of knowledge to several hundred; there are many more.
Source 1
Source 2
Source 3
Source 4
Source 5
Source 6
Your experience not withstanding, our programming is entirely valid. This is especially true given the other variables. 1) we prioritize intensity and we manifest that through heavy weights 2) you only lift each exercise 2 times in every 5 day cycle - plenty of time for macro recovery 3) you are resting up to 4 minutes between sets - plenty of time for micro recovery 4) you are only doing 3 lifts in a day and only one for that domain - you aren’t doing 3 sets of barbell bench, then 3 sets of incline, then 3 sets of decline, then some cable cross-overs, then some dumbbell flys, then finishing with some drop sets on the Smith machine. 1 exercise, at maximal intensity. No need to pace yourself. 5) we are seeking to balance strength and endurance. It’s impossible to fully address both simultaneously. There will inevitably be friction. 6) we are seeking to challenge you, not accommodate you. 7) we emphasize self-reflection, data analysis, and agency. If you are struggling to meet the listed criteria then we encourage you to program accordingly. It’s foundational to our approach.
But allow me to let you in on a little secret. Even though we cite no small amount of literature, you can find lots of literature that argues against our programming. In fact, there is so much ‘literature’ out there that you can find supporting information for damn near everything and anything. So, back to my first point, you are welcome to criticize. But you should at least provide some counter-evidence beyond “in my experience”. In the Taxonomy of Information, anecdotal testimony is the least rigorous. We have presented our arguments, you are invited to present yours. Or be a little more graceful in your criticism.
We are well aware of Prilepin’s optimal reps (for powerlifting), and the NASM 5 Phase Optimum Performance Training Model (which we follow) and the NSCA Performance Pyramid (which we follow). We don’t disagree that they are to be well considered. We did a full and complete survey of the information environment. But we stated in our introduction and made available for free our philosophy…we have no interest in preserving the credentialed protectorate of the fitness industry. SFAS is different, so shall the programming be.
Third, we didn’t “steal” another program and stack it on top of our own stuff. That’s not how this works. If you survey all of the programs and methodology out there, you will find a ton of overlap. If you follow established principles and seek consensus, then you end up looking a lot like the other stuff. Did we look at other programs? Yes, dozens of them. Did we steal them? No. The fact that we favor a more intense program that most programs don’t should make this argument moot. This is a serious accusation and should be reserved for the most egregious circumstances. You might not have experience with this type of programming, you might not be familiar with recent literature, and you are only seeing a very minuscule event absent of any of the other programming and ancillary elements.
Fourth, and finally, I want to address the unhinged discussion of cost. We’re particularly sensitive to this topic because we know that our target population skews younger and likely less affluent, so cost matters. And I don’t like calling guys out necessarily, but u/Certain-Exam-2577 and u/Potential_Presence67 ? You two can go fuck yourselves. You anonymous peices of shit decided from your castles on top of Mount Holy that we are looking for a “money grab”? I could have charged hundreds, I could put all of my content behind a paywall, and I could simply pump and dump and walk away to stack cash. But that’s not the case.
What do you two fucking genius economists think would be appropriate for 8 months of daily programming for strength, conditioning, rucking, mental prep, mobility, skills, recovery and much more? We charge 60 dollars. Let’s take a very small survey the prep environment and see where we stack up:
Evoke - 3 months, requires additional programming prerequisites, $65
Performance First - 3 months, $90
18A Fitness - 4 months, $179
Gritty Soldier - 3 months, $30
Mountain Tactical - 12 months, $329
Blue/Green Training - 11 weeks, $129
We’re looking pretty competitive given these numbers. And these are the better programs. We mostly like them (and others) and we have tremendous respect for their creators and coaches. We don’t think they are as good as ours, especially our ruck programming, but they’re in the ballpark. Many guys in this sub have used them and speak highly of them. There are also near endless shit programs out there. AI generated, generic, point-of-sale trash with slick marketing and zero support.
We are a complete program that covers every single domain, and we have well established our expertise for SFAS. But we don’t rely on reputation, we deliver. We research, analyze, synthesize, and present the most comprehensive program out there. For just 60 bucks. Hell, you’ll spend over half that on a blank journal…we’ve recommended this excellent journal many times. But that’s just a cool journal. Zero programming. So we think we’re not “grabbing” too much.
Our resident pricks go on to say that RUSU wasn’t worth $50. Good thing we only charge $40. And perhaps you’d prefer the 15+ year old, lack-luster competition? They’re in the same price range. They even take a cheap shot at our Muster events as just a ‘wAlK iN tHe wOoDs tHaT yOu cOuLd do for FrEe’ or ‘info you could probably find online’. Our “competition” is $750 and one of the programs isn’t even taught by a military guy, much less a Green Beret. You two retarded laureates haven’t even attended an event, so your opinion is irrelevant.
And I should put a pin in all of this money grab, predatory, grifter talk by reminding them that this is all voluntary. You don’t have to spend a single dime if you don’t want to. Lots of guys don’t do anything extra and they get Selected all the time. But if a guy wants to be compensated for his hard work and another guy wants to allocate the cost of a night out drinking, then maybe your keen criticism could be stymied a bit. I offer plenty of free advice and commentary every day. I note that neither of you provide anything of value.
So, that’s my assessment of the situation. You don’t have to be a part of the conversation, but I thought that I should let you know how I see it. I endlessly tell you about the importance of foot care, so it’s only fair that I weigh in on this important topic. I should note that there was also some very reasoned comments and lots of guys understanding the intent of the programming AND of the program. And the OP reached out via DM and we had a very reasonable and productive discussion. He gets it. And the number of guys commenting is <1% of the number of guys reading the actual full program. I like that guys are passionate about this stuff. If you get 10 Green Berets in a room you’ll get 11 different opinions on damn near every topic. You know what they say about opinions…

Ok so first things first, I am well acquainted with abuse and abusers, grew up in a very abusive family, except for s*xual abuse I went through everything else with them, of course this led me to see abuse as normal behavior, most kids bullied me, some close friends took advantage of my spineless behavior, and later on, I had abusive romantic partners.
Not all of them were, of course, but the ones that were I can think back and see the red flags I missed, eventually I went to therapy and kind of learned how to see them better, all that stuff.
Then comes my last ex. He was, well, great. He was attentive, kind, generous, his family welcomed me as a new addition from the first day, it all seemed too good to be true. The thing is, with other abusers, this façade would soon collapse, they weren't able to sustain it for long, but my ex seemed to really be like this, the only shady thing I can think of his past self it that he's always been very secretive about his emotions and repressed them way too much.
After about a year and a half of dating, several things happened, quarantine was one of them, my mental health decline was the other. I tried meds for the first time, it backfired and left me su*cidal for months, I had agoraphobia and went back to being terrified of people. That's when the silent treatment and refusing to get intimate with me and all the arguing began. His point was that he was okay with supporting me with my mental health stuff, as long as it got better and not worse, I tried to explain to him that sometimes things do get worse and there's nothing I can possibly do about it, he would get angrier and say that either I got "cured" or he would leave.
You can imagine how fragile I was back then, terrified of my friends,of going outside, I went back to my mom's house because of covid and had to deal with her abuse again, he felt like the only person I could trust. Even if I knew everything he was saying about mental illnesses was plain wrong, I chose to stick with him because he genuinely sounded like he wanted the best for me.
But everything only got worse, of course, his own life got harder, he was a sheltered kid that never worked or lived on his own, I on the other hand have been working ever since I was 17, we moved in together and you guessed it, it got even worse.
He was doing an unpaid internship where he would mostly observe others work instead of doing something himself, I worked part time because I wanted a little break from working 7am to 4pm for so long, so he was basically living off me and his parents, I also did most of the housework because he'd be there for so long, he didn't even have to, but he was there all day. Not only he never thanked me but he would belittle me for working part time and criticized my cooking, he was a picky eater and was used to his mom adapting to him so I had no idea this was a thing, he hated all veggies and everything that wasn't basically soup or meat and rice/potatoes. We both got folic acid deficiency from this btw, so I'm not exaggerating.
At some point my brain just gave up, I was so incredibly exhausted all the time, physically and mentally. Thank goodness I had the decision to go on a solo vacation with friends after being isolated for years and that's when I realized how badly I was being treated, by being around people who didn't treat me badly. This was last summer, as soon as I got home, the first thing I did was trying to talk to him, and knowing he wouldn't be reasonable, I knew I would have to leave him.
At this point we hadn't gotten intimate in over a year, he refused sleeping with me and would only talk to me to berate me. We argued very often, he was angry all the time, I was on edge all the time, I constantly had panic and anxiety attacks, he would treat me specially bad during these, and when I begged him for a hug sometimes he even hit me.
This was almost a year ago and I'm still broken. My memory is broken, my cognitive functions are half there, I am numb most days, can't feel a thing, not good nor bad, just can't feel, no matter what I do. I am incredibly depressed and don't have the will to do anything. I found someone great who is supportive and amazing in more ways than I can count, found great friends and rekindled friendships I left unattended because of my ex, and still I can't be there for them, not really, because I am not really here most of the time, went to therapy but can't yet afford trying EMDR (will be able soon, after I move from here) and I can't learn anything more from my therapist, it's also expensive. I quit my job and am living off my savings and unemployment, went back to one of my hobbies he used to belittle and criticize so much, I've been hired for collaborations right away and I am in several projects and I can't give my all and feel like I am disappointing people and most importantly myself all the time.
I miss the old me so bad, the one that's trapped beneath this impenetrable armor, and even though things have gotten kind of better, I hate being this fragile, quiet, soft person, when I used to be the polar opposite, I have nothing against quiet and soft people, I love them, it just feels wrong for me.
It took me a lot of work but before dating this idiot for almost 5 years, I got to be this extroverted, fun and warm person that had a million friends and was incredibly energetic, I used to be super physically active, went to a lot of social events, I had so many hobbies and was starting to carve wood. He took it all, and I have no idea how.
As I said at the start of this post, abuse is my whole life. No matter how much my family told me I sucked, they never took the fun out of things for me, if anything, it gave me that spark, that "I'll do what I want!" inner Cartman. No matter how much I was bullied or belittled by others, it never broke me, I was pretty much used to it. But this guy did.
Whenever I talk about toxic relationships with friends or people I meet, it's always kind of the same, "oh we were not compatible at all and refused to accept it haha" or "they were abusive from the start I just didn't know how abuse worked!" but I haven't found someone that went through the same thing as me, someone who's ex was perfect and then became abusive and disgusting, I left a lot out of it for the sake of brevity but his political views and overall morality changed a lot during all this.
I don't know how coherent this is, kinda need to vent , thanks to whoever read it at all, good luck with your own struggles ♥

English: for section 1 question a on paper 1 use pqe, point quote explain, nake one point use a quote to back it up and explain, leave extra space after each point incase you have extra time to spend on it
Question b of that same question make sure if you write the text of a speech the whole text is said speech and if you have to for example write the text of a speech from a famous person you never step out of character. Your opening line should be basically a rephrasing of the question eg:write an article for the local newspaper, you should say "I am writing for the x newspaper to tell you about...", even if its unrealistic they still look for this in regard to your purpose mark.
For the composing:make sure there are famous people you can talk about a lot, also just a few topics that youve got some bit of knowledge on e.g ai might be handy
personal essay: use anecdotes even if they're made up
Short story:I'm avoiding this personally but make sure you show don't tell and alsondont leave plot holes, from what I've heard people who do this already have things like settings, characters and storylines planned out before the exam
Opinion essay: chose for or against and be strongly for or against, if im not mistaken you can be neutral but it's a lot harder
For the single text your first quote shouldn't be from act 1 scene 1 or your texts equivalent,your answer shouldn't be a summary
For hamlet: have lots of quotes, back in as many points as possible with quotes, remember the word regicide and antic-disposition, if the question asks about Claudius' role as villain if must only be his direct wrong doings (laertes, elder hamlet) and not the ones he indirectly caused by making hamlet mad (ophelia, polonius etc).
Comparative:constantly compare your 3 texts,(this next tip only applies if parf of your comparative course is never let me go) MOST of the time if you are doing the question 1 which is split up into a and b where a is in relation to 1 text and b is 2, never let me go will be in part a as it is hard to compare to other texts, this obviously depends on the question but if in doubt do that
Unseen poetry:I'm absolutely useless at this but on my mock I completely misunderstood the poem and got 17/20, waffle with confidence, don't spend too long on it as 20 marks is sweet fa in your English paper and the difference between spending 20 mins and 25 mins is no more than 3 marks.
Poetry: have one poem you can talk for days about no matter what, they will more than likely come up. Have 3 more you understand to be able to answer a question, then your perfectly covered. If you want to be more confident you can learn 2 poems to perfect 50/50 but from here to Thursday time management is important
History: if your a slow writer like me learn a metric fuck tonne of good quotes they're the quickest way to pick up marks, here's a few if you want them
Oh little sputnik flying high/with made-in-moscow-beep/you show the world its a commie sky/and uncle Sam's asleep-mennen Williams,democratic governor of michigan
The United States would provide political, military and economic assistance to all democratic nations under threat from external and internal forces-the turman doctrine
We are kings men and well be with you to the end -james Craig (not precisely a long one but so many essays it could be used in)
I want dr king to know that I didn't come to selma to make his job difficult, I really did come thinking I could make it easier. If the white people realise what the alternative is, perhaps they will be more willing to here dr king-malcolm x
Geography: from here to friday dedicate 10 minutes to aerial photography, it's 8 marks waiting to be claimed. Nows probably too late for flashcards but if it isn't fucking use them for srps
Maths: nows not too late to print off a mock or past paper, see what needs the most work and make sure you fully understand them
Irish: if your like me and haven't done a scratch there's still more than a week, predictions are your best friend, learn one essay, one poetry notes, one story notes and one play notes and let God decide how well he wants you to do
French:be able to write about the Olympics as if your fluent, its probably going to come up. Know your tenses and your subjunctive. Learn off a few proverbs they add marks to any essay. "Je suis tout à fait d'accord avec le declaration Ci dessus","il est neccesaire de pesser le pour et le contre", "n'oublions pas le proverbe" and "a Mon avis" fit into most opinion pieces, know them(get correct spelling aswel mine was affected by autocorrect). Also if your down to the wire learn diary phrased, even if you write a bad diary you will get marks for the phrases
Accounting: final accounts will come up,know 2/3, learn all your ratios and all the theory they will come up, know either budgeting or costing as one of each will come up, that leaves the second 100 marker, it will most likely be suspense as that comes up every second year but it could be a 60 marker, I wouldn't even bother worrying about anything else until ratios,final accounts, budget/costing and suspense are up to the grade your hoping for but if all that is sorted learn off maybe 3 other possible 100 markers, that any you have 4 which includes the 80% likely suspense and 2 will come up, the accounting exam is probably the easiest to predict, and for the love of God know your theory. Keep doing exam questions of your struggling, every time you correct one write down your mistakes and have the list of mistakes next to you when doing the next one, then tear it and make a new list of mistakes
Buisness(salty I couldn't do it cuz it was on same time as history): know unit 1-3 inside out (according to u/businessgarbage6666)
This is all my experience, I will add any good advice for these subject or other subjects that are provided in the comments, all of these are for higher level except for maths, good luck,don't panic and think about the pint that's instore once this is all over

Hi there! First post on reddit so please forgive me if i'm not using any fancy text.
I've been DM'ing now on and off for around near 5 years, originally I ran for 2 separate friend groups with Vastly different likes and dislikes. I had to stop one groups campaign due to work schedules and as the such (gotta love adult life ;-;)
So recently my current group consists of close friends so it is quite easy to get things across but it can also be very easy to lose control of the table if we start having jokes and a good laugh.
the above is not the issues I'm having as the DM however the stuff above i'm fine with as long as we are hanging out and having a good time. My issues span from multiple small issues which I will list below Beginning with myself as I know I make plenty of mistakes as I DM but I'm looking for advice to make sure i'm not going crazy and being a C**T with some of my table rules i've implemented
My Issues I need to work on: Note Taking - I lose track of my notes (this has been getting better moved to an app called obsidian which I have stuck with and this seems to be working wonders for me) but still needs work.
World lore - Kinda a addition to the note taking issue I have, I like to chop change some things but I still want it to make canonical sense to the worlds timeline which can be a little messy at times.
Pacing - Oh god I'm awful for pacing sometimes I'm too fast or i'm far too slow my players spend an entire 7 hour session on 1 street corner being my worst example.
Sometimes Retconning Small things - I Don't know if I think its okay to do this, I've only had to do it twice in total I Hate retconning stuff as I feel like if maybe a player that doesn't shine to often finally gets out their shell i'm worried if I retcon something It can really take away from that players motivation.
So above are my issues for sakes of time I'm going to copy paste a recent paragraph I sent to my players parts like player names will be edited of course. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So shappening dudes and dudets, DnD is going to be on the back burner for me for a Little bit cause personally feeling burnt out for a couple reasons that I'll get to in a little bit. So first things first the main thing I'm going to an induction day so I'm hoping I get this job (I got the Job whoop whoop) and DnD will be moved to every 2nd Saturday if thats gonna be a issue we can discuss that down the line. Now couple of mini Issues I want to get off my chest. So the Number 3 joke died ages ago for me and its just annoying so stopping that would be nice thank you, anyone that says it going forward you'll just take 3 damage. Unfortunately the interrupting and pacing is horrendous I'm gonna do my best to keep my focus on the game and I ask so do you. For the time being kinda a add on to the previous my max player count I can do is 6 no more, "Player Name" please let "His Partner" know I do not mind if she watches but I can't have her play not until I feel like the pacing is better and no ones shouting over each other. The Cards, They are fun but i'm gonna rejig them to be less annoying and alot less OP, (I'm removing that bag of holding card) personal thing - If I ask something to do with in the game could you please just acknowledge you have seen it, cause I've typed in plane text plenty of times before and it just doesn't get listened to it starts with one person then everyone else follows if you get me and it can make some little instructions that make things easier for me alot harder. As the DM I want a bit more control So one of the major ones that I ask is NO ONE calls "Roll a persuasion to persuade me" or anything along that lines, it is unnecessary and tbh I find it a bit rude. NO Rape or Rolling Cock size. (its just weird and its disgusting you'd think of it tbh)
There are a few more other things that personally bother me but those are the main ones, the minor ones just consist of 1. Don't Make up your own lore of my own creation and then treat it as cannon, I didn't ask and I don't care.

1. Don't ask for any more custom items, if I give you something be happy and let it be a surprise. 3."did we level up?" i know its a joke but tone it down before it gets worse.
2. If you create a backstory please give me the footnotes of the main points that I can work with, don't give me a lore book about how garfunkle the black white man slain a beast. I won't read it. (Edit - I don't mind if they give me a book to read I do like lore I just mean here that I'd prefer notes of the main points in their characters story)
3. I would prefer Game things are sent on discord concerning characters thats a personal thing, I created the discord for me to be organised and have it all in one place so if you please could just send me stuff on that even if its a dnd beyond link I would like it all in one place. I get this is gonna be alot to read but I hope I get my point across. I am the dungeon master and I want to create a game for you guys to enjoy but I have neglected my own joy for the game and have been more lazy with it because of this. I have alot of stuff to fix from last session especially and I'm gonna try to be more focused on the game and create a better experience and all I ask is please listen, pay attention and any question on the world so you can clarify things you may ask me, if there is any issues during the session call for a break if its that major so we may discuss at the table and if its a small issue we discuss it after the session. I may rule things wrong but i'll attempt to rule it in a way that makes sense and then I shall research and let you know afterwards, I'd rather not search rules in the middle of the game and taking half a hour per turn. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So context for some things the number 3 joke is from shrek "NUMBER 3 MY LORD" and I use magic the gathering cards for little 1 session boons they are a hell of a lot of fun and I'll post under this if anyone else play's DnD and MTG (I'd recommend using the Dungeons and dragons sets for Magic if you wish to try this out)
Revitalize x2 - Add a Medium Potion to Inventory
​
Treasure x3 - Add 100 Gold
​
Choose Your Weapon - Choose one for the Remainder of the Session
Archery - +2 to Range attacks
or
Two Weapon Fighting - +2 to Melee Attacks
​
Curse of Surveillance - You Grow an eyeball onto the palm of your hand, something or someone is watching you (The DM determines who) This curse is passed on
when someone else draws the card or removed with the "Remove curse Spell"
​
Improvised weaponry - You feel compelled to use the first random object as your weapon for the session.
​
Triumphant Adventurer - Roll a D20,
Even Numbers add 3 Platinum to your Inventory.
Odd Numbers Summons a Gold Plated Cocky knight to gloat how rich he is for 1 minute.
​
Hunters Mark - You Gain the Ability Hunters Mark for the Session it does not Require Concentration.
​
Contact Other Plane - You ask anything from the DM roll a d100 to discover the outcome.
​
Hoard Robber - The best robber in all the land has found you and took every bit of coin you have leaving a single fake gold piece.
​
Dawnbringer Cleric - You can Choose One to use throughout the session
Cure Wounds
Dispel Magic
Gentle Repose
​
Priest of Ancient lore - A old Dwarf appears in front of you radiating a holy light asking "Would you like to know the lore of this land?"
​
Boots of Speed - You Gain Extra 15ft Speed for the Session.
​
Silver Raven - A Unknown Vampires Raven Follows you.
​
Check for Traps - You becoming Increasingly paranoid of traps for the session the DM at Random will ask you to check for traps at your feet.
​
Blessed Defiance - You Summon A white Spirit, it says nothing, it is friendly to only you, it will follow and defend you for this session.
​
Chaos Channeler - A wild magic sorcerer Explodes from the multiverse, he looks excited as he transports himself again creating a Minor wild magic effect.

So this is a pretty large post But I am looking for advice on maybe rules I should consider going forward, how to keep proper control of a party of 6 and just anything I should improve as a DM and anything I can further communicate to my players at the table.

Hi! We are a whitelisted, semi-vanilla server on java 1.20.4 with minimal plugins, instead focusing on playing together as a very chill, lax community. We launched recently on 23 March 2024!
Featuring: - NO teleportation, claims, McMMO, and all that. - Events: we love doing events and minigames! - Permanent Map: we plan on keeping this world, NO resets. Longevity is the idea here - Custom World Generation: we use TerraformGenerator – this is the only significant non-vanilla plugin used!
We like keeping it chill – our rules list is very brief, since we operate on a trust system. We have a few minor features and plugins to enhance your experience here, while keeping it feel as vanilla as possible. Our focus is on the 'playing together' aspect; several of us have settled our bases closely to each other, not far from spawn. But there's no rules on this sort of thing, and we hope to be as inclusive as we can be in growing a community :)
Whether you're a builder, a technical player, an explorer, or a mix of every Minecraft playstyle in existence, you're very much welcome here! We welcome players from all origins but please note that the server's events will revolve around east asia timezones at night (e.g. UTC/GMT afternoons).
Interested? Apply here! https://discord.gg/z9ezzKBR6t

Hi! We are a whitelisted, semi-vanilla server on java 1.20.4 with minimal plugins, instead focusing on playing together as a very chill, lax community. We launched recently on 23 March 2024!
Featuring: - NO teleportation, claims, McMMO, and all that. - Events: we love doing events and minigames! - Permanent Map: we plan on keeping this world, NO resets. Longevity is the idea here - Custom World Generation: we use TerraformGenerator – this is the only significant non-vanilla plugin used!
We like keeping it chill – our rules list is very brief, since we operate on a trust system. We have a few minor features and plugins to enhance your experience here, while keeping it feel as vanilla as possible. Our focus is on the 'playing together' aspect; several of us have settled our bases closely to each other, not far from spawn. But there's no rules on this sort of thing, and we hope to be as inclusive as we can be in growing a community :)
Whether you're a builder, a technical player, an explorer, or a mix of every Minecraft playstyle in existence, you're very much welcome here! We welcome players from all origins but please note that the server's events will revolve around east asia timezones at night (e.g. UTC/GMT afternoons).
Interested? Apply here! https://discord.gg/z9ezzKBR6t

I’m somewhat new to comics, and I’m just looking for some clarification on some of this stuff as im finding it easy to get lost. I understand I might have missed a lot of obvious stuff, I might not have looked in the right spot? I have a few (a lot) questions that may or may not be related so any insight is appreciated, thanks :))
Why are there so many different writers for Batman?? I understand the dc hiring n firing n whatever n ppl moving on to other stuff etc, but where do they all fit in? And are any of them needed for prior reading for others or can I really just read whatever the heck I want? Do I need to read all of Tom king to read chip zdarsky run? What abt James tynion? I enjoyed battle for the cowl (even tho I’ve seen ppl say it sucks?) so do I need to read all of final crisis to understand what’s going on there? Than after I read all that do I need to read everything tony s Daniel has put out? (Ik ofc not EVERYTHING, however what extent do I need to dive into his/others work to get a proper grasp on certain things. I saw he worked on detective comics 900-something, does that have any bearing on anything? Or is that its own thing?) From my understanding, the grant Morrison run mainly takes place after final crisis, as well as battle for the cowl, and has a lot of dickbats (I think that’s what ppl call him?? (Dick GraysonBatman)) which I’m interested in, but his run starts at like 600-something issues? Do I need to read 600+ issues of other stuff before that to understand the grant Morrison stuff? What are all the crisis’?? Crisis on infinite earths was like the 80s, but there’s infinite crisis omnibus in 2020? Does it take that long to make an omnibus? Is that related to final crisis at all? How does any of that relate to Scott Snyder run? How does Scott Snyder run relate to Scott Snyder dark knight metal? How does dark knight metal relate to dark knight DEATH metal? Flashpoint happened in 2011, Ik that flash went to a parallel earth with Thomas Wayne Batman, smt happened, rest the timeline, whatever, how tf is Thomas Wayne Batman in Tom king Batman run in like 2019?? I’m also extremely interested in the morbius chair wally west vs darkest knight, according to google I think it’s in dark nights death metal speed metal? I don’t see that listed in the dark night metal or dark night death metal omnibus’ at all, maybe I’m mistaken? Do those not have anything to do w that? It said somewhere here that frank miller dkr and jeph loeb long Halloween are good to read back to back? Is this in any way confirmed? Surely not every single one of these stories is the same Batman right? Do any of these questions make sense or am I missing something???
Now, all that being said, I understand that “u don’t have to read it chronologically” or whatever, I’m just trying to get a better understanding of the whole timeline(s?) I’m not freaking out over what goes where or anything I’m just a little confused on exactly how anything is connected, if at all, as well as just how convoluted it all is, and as I said, any insight is appreciated. I understand some of these may be stupid questions to yall, thank u for your patience 🫶