My hair is the only thing I like about myself physically.
I expected my hairline to move back as I got older. I’m 33. I was fine with a mature hairline, moving back around the temples. However, now that it’s thinning in the front, it’s filling me with absolute dread.
This is my fault. I didn’t wash my hair enough. I didn’t take vitamins. I didn’t get fin/min soon enough. I let my hormones get all out of wack (I was irresponsible with missing HRT doses leading to my hormones being all over the place, I am sure that didn’t help). Now I feel like there’s no hope and it’s all my fault.
I’ve been thinking about it every night before I fall asleep.
Is there hope for me if I start washing my hair more? Taking hair vitamins like D/B/biotin? Scalp massages? Rosemary oil? Derma roller? In what order would I use these products?
Please tell me there’s hope because I can’t afford to go to turkey right now. I don’t even have a passport.
I feel sick to my stomach.
Last picture is how I wear my hair. Luckily it hides the issue, but if this continues this type of hairstyle wont be able to hide anything.

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I would never normally turn to Reddit but I’ve reached the end of my tether. I’m an ex-nurse so medically, I’m good - I don’t need medical advice, more an outlet to rant and get some support. If you have nothing nice to say, please don’t bother; my mental health is incredibly fragile right now.
I’m 34 next month, and I started my period for the first time at 8 years old (it was apparently triggered by CSA).
From the moment it started until now, it has been HORRIFIC. Waking up in pools of blood, barely able to leave the house without bleeding everywhere - never been able to wear skirts, shorts, or anything white. There’s never been a pattern, some periods would last for 3 months, sometimes it would disappear for a year.
I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2017 and was put on metformin. This did nothing to help.
In 2018, I had weight loss surgery as my bmi was (and still is) out of range for IVF. I have had 11 miscarriages - 4 of them were when my weight exceeded 28 stone, 5 were when my weight was at 18 stone, 2 at 16 stone, and 4 when my weight increased slightly.
I have been tested for natural killer cells, I’ve been tested for thrombocytopenia, I’ve been tested for EVERYTHING - nothing has come up except a dodgy thyroid (which I’m on medication to fix).
Anyway, after my surgery, my periods relaxed a bit and I started having one every three months or so which lasted about 3 weeks. Everything was okay until - and I am NOT anti-vax in the slightest! - I had my astrazeneca jab on 6.2.21 - literalky a day later, i bled until 12.6.23. I bled, heavily, every single day for over two years.
I was referred to gynaecology in March 21 and rhey didnt see me until August 22 when I was blue-lighted to a&e with severe iron-deficiency (iron levels 2) where they did a biopsy and a scan. The scan showed thickened endometrium and the biopsy was normal.
I ended up in hospital with an adrenal crisis and the bleeding still wouldnt stop. They gave me tranexamic acid, mefanamic acid, norethisterone - absolutely NOTHING would stop the bleeding. Eventually they discharged me and sent for an emergency iron infusion.
Fast forward a few months and the same thing happens again. Back to hospital, another iron infusion, still no medication would work. They did another biopsy - nothing.
This happened again every few months for about a year which takes us up to last June when I had another biopsy which came back showing “endometrial hyperplasia” but I received a letter from the specialist who said everything was normal. I tried to clarify with them but they weren’t sure what was going on. So I asked for a second opinion at a different hospital.
The new hospital did a biopsy which came back normal (this was Feb 24). After the biopsy, I stopped bleeding. It finally stopped! Until March came along and then I started bleeding AGAIN - I am STILL bleeding now. I’m off for another iron infusion at 2:30 today because my iron stores have dropped to 2 again and I’m at my wits end.
I’ve had 7 iron infusions in 2 years, no medication helps, no dietary changes help, no vitamin, mineral or nutritional deficiencies are documented. I eat very healthily, I exercise and I do everything I can to support my hormonal health (naturally, no additional supplementation aside from folic acid and folate).
I’m booked in to have the mirena coil fitted (again) at the end of June (apparently no sooner slots) but I’m losing the will to live. I genuinely cannot continue waking up like this day after day. I haven’t been able to work for four years because this is overruling my life.
They won’t do a hysterectomy “in case” I want to have children, they won’t investigate for endometriosis because I have “too much scar tissue” and they won’t check my egg quality because my BMI is just over 35. I’m working to lose weight (even though I lost 12 stone through weight loss surgery) but my body has plateaued and I can’t seem to lose anymore. My endocrinologist is scratching his head, I’m at a loss, and I’m genuinely fearful that if this continues much longer, I might end up taking drastic action.

I've been thinking about getting into makeup, specifically the "dark fem" makeup look, but i know absolutely nothing. I want to know the absolute basics of what i could possibly need and what brands are good and cheap. I have acne prone skin and my nose tends to get VERY oily while the rest of my face is kinda dry. I have lots of texture and scarring from it being cystic. I dont know how makeup interferes with skincare products such as the Hero green cream or Vitamin C oil. I've never done my own makeup before so please explain this to me like I'm a 3 year old lol

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- - - - -
Ceele strolled through the damp grass along the outskirts of the village, a spring in her step and the dwindling scent of dew following behind. It rained yesterday, which had prevented her from going out to gather supplies, but the mild morning air had been accommodating enough for her to get an early start and make the trip. She was glad she did.
One hand clutched her new prize to her chest, while the other held a fraying wicker basket filled with herbs and some edible roots she gathered by exploring the forbidden forest. Despite her reservations regarding where she chose to go, her excitement now lingered like a steady thrum of shifting stones, giving her energy that defied how long she had been walking. She all but pranced beneath the burgeoning night's sky, gleefully toeing the line between the dirt pathways of the settlement’s outskirts and the trees of unclaimed land. Normally, her path back home would never be so close to the village, but she was far too gleeful to mind. She had come back with a sense of fulfillment and a rare object—or if not rare, then hopefully of great value.
It was hard to point to any one specific reason that she came across the orb. There had always been a ‘draw’ during her travels, urging her that there was something missing in her life, yet it was no more than a mild whim to walk in a particular direction more often than not. Once she reached this part of the continent, she was compelled to wander, never quite able to explain why she obliged the sensation besides having nowhere in particular to be. Even when she finally settled somewhere, it stayed in the back of her mind, suggesting that she was close to whatever would make the pit of vacancy go away. She ignored it, purposefully distracting herself with her work and responsibilities, yet that could only last so long. When she awoke this morning with plans to resupply, and all of her newfound spots had been picked clean by wildlife, she turned to the depths of the forest where she was warned not to tread. It was all too easy to follow the subtle tug in her chest through the loose justification.
The urge to be somewhere grew unbearable with every step closer to the forbidden area. That sense of having a direction she needed to go became stronger and stronger, until she was well into land long since forgotten. She came across an overgrown depression in the hillside, and was entranced by the foreboding image. Something about the cave just…beckoned her. She was far too weak to resist.
Horrible tales echoed into her ears as whispers of fearful voices, warning and unending, yet but a dull drone compared to her hammering heart. She navigated the trees and brushed aside unkempt vines, stepping into the cavern with a mix of expectation and trepidation, then laid eyes on the small obsidian stone perched atop a crumbling pillar. The feeling of needing to travel somewhere…stopped.
The pull was absent, which was why she held the orb close instead of placing it into her basket. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but she recalled overheard tales of hidden gemstones, deep cavernous expanses, and the untold terrors that lay within. Comparing the scenes of those fables to the cave seemed foolish now; it wasn’t some torturous chamber, but a dusty depression in a small hillside. Besides, anything this pretty was sure to be worth a fair sum, and she needed the coin. Yet the thought of selling the precious-looking stone was a conflicting one. She shook off the thought for the time being, turning her attention back towards where she was going.
Shadows stretched and faded as the moon stole the last of the illumination afforded by the sun, replacing it with a calming glow that caressed the log frames and thatched roofs of various homes. A star-filled sky came into prominence as clouds lazily drifted away, revealing the promise of tomorrow’s fair-weathered arrival. It was too late for anyone to notice her treading on the edge of their town while lost in thought, but she was still careful not to get too close to the houses or livestock pens where people might be finishing the evening’s duties. It was best that they didn’t see her returning from a place she was told not to go. Still, her feet carried her near the dwellings as she took in the noises.
Ceele enjoyed the comforting chatter from a distance. Indistinct words floated freely. Meaningless gossip and warm goodbyes were exchanged between friends and family. Places of various occupations were dark and quiet, only the faint contented mewls and clucks of livestock coming from their pastures as they ate what was recently put out for them. No metal rang throughout the streets as it was struck inside a centralized smithy, no heated bartering came from an overactive trade house, and the crunch of dirt beneath transport or merchant wagons was absent, replaced by the rapid steps and yelps of children rushing to their homes before it got too dark out. It was all just gentle conversation and life drifting through the wind, taking the rustle of leaves along for the ride, just so she could hear it. Tranquil, in a word.
She wondered what it would sound like if she were yet one more voice within that crowd of kindness. Would it be loud like the larger cities? Would she struggle to maintain a thought with so many stray topics floating about? Would she once more yearn for the peace and quiet of solitude that she had grown used to, or would she immerse herself, free of judgment and laughing like the carefree young that scampered about? Did thinking about it even matter?
Her smile fell from its genuine intensity—still worn, but not as fully. She glanced downward as her stride lost its jubilant bounce, her tail losing its sway as her grey eyes examined the dry black scales that adorned her body against her wishes. It was the ugly hue of tarnished oil, unlike the skin of any other kobold she had met. Some had reds or greens, yellows or whites, while most were between a sandy tan or earthen brown. The rainbow of peculiarities was displayed by the lucky few, and she was one of them…
…Yet she was different in the worst of ways.
Even if she would rather any other colour, she supposed it was that way to make sure no one came near without accepting the unspoken risks. That was what her mother always said, anyway, though the woman hardly feared much of anything in her old age, and dedicated herself to giving her offspring all the love she had left to give—a perk of living a full life. She would always help her daughter bathe, complimenting the colour of what most were unnerved by. That was more than a decade ago now, however. Ceele’s parents had passed on while she was still young, and she took to travelling not long after, working at what she could to afford what little she needed. Never for long, though—just enough to get to the next town between where she was and where the urge to go lay. There were certainly moments she looked back on fondly, but the journey had taken its toll.
The crude material of her ‘dress’ was coarse, old, and heavy, but it helped ease the worst of spring's chill—even if it was more of a modified sack than proper attire. Still, it was all she had after the last of her clothing fell apart, and giving the repurposed material a name that reminded her of something else made it less uncomfortable to wear, somehow. It would have to do until she could afford a pitying seamstress or the like. Until then, she would pretend she didn’t look so desperate, even if it only highlighted her status and made finding work difficult.
But it did. The dishevelled garment was a far cry from the wonderful silks or breathtaking designs she had seen some women wear, harshly marking the distinction between herself and those of affluence. The clothing of commoners was also a leap in style and quality, so she couldn't say her attire was up to even modest standards. No matter how hard she squinted, and no matter how much she fantasized otherwise, she seemed every bit like the vagrant she was, down to the soil embedded in the curvature of her claws and the stains throughout her fabrics. She looked like a serf from the more oppressed lands, yet they too wore crude cottons, which said a lot about how she appeared to those who had never lived a life of servitude. It was obvious that she was an outsider. That she didn't belong amongst the rest. It made changing something as simple as her appearance all the more difficult; prospective employment always saw a young woman who seemed more likely to steal or swindle than make an honest day’s living.
There was one good twist of fate in recent memory, however, and she came upon the result of it after leaving the slowing bustle of the village behind. Her steps carried her through a small copse of trees on the outskirts of town, the small shaded path leading to the back of a large, carefully pruned clearing, a scattering of fruit-bearing trees providing even darker shadow than the already dim moonlight. She skirted along the aging fence on the border that kept predatory animals away, carefully hoisting herself over the barrier where a large vegetable garden she was responsible for tending resided. If one were to tell her she would be living in such an area several months ago, she would have smiled politely and walked away, yet here she was.
A modest, warmly lit home occupied the middle of the clearing, sitting front and centre when one approached from the village path. It looked quite cozy, surrounded by berry bushes that were just beginning to bloom as the last dregs of winter slipped away. A front patio displayed a nice table and well-loved chairs, the rustic appearance only adding to its charm as a place where friends and family spent the warm summer afternoons. A smithy to the left of the house functioned as an additional heated building during the colder months, but usually served as a storefront and to muffle the sounds of hammered iron, though that had become less common. An old stable was nearby, close enough to be accessible, but not so close as to disturb the once occupying animals with sounds of iron craft. It hadn't seen a horse in quite some time, apparently, so it was mostly a workshop for whatever tasks didn’t require fire or metal.
There was a long history attached to each little detail—from the scuffs along the wooden siding to the depressions in the ground where daily routine wore into the earth. Every fault suffered throughout the years was matched by a thousand quirks that made it feel welcoming, like the house itself was merely waiting for the next friendly face with one of its own. She knew that the inside of each building would look just as cared for.
Her concern lay outside, however. It was a comparatively miniscule space just barely visible through the sheltering trees, true, yet it was where her efforts turned into tangible results, and where a stranger’s trust was painstakingly repaid. Once overgrown grass had been laboriously trimmed, the weeds plucked and disposed of, and now nothing distracted from what she could claim she had done.
The small plots of rock-bordered soil had little buds of growing vegetables, a sense of pride never failing to bloom in her breast with the knowledge that it would be barren without her touch. When her troubles and concerns grew heavy, and fears of the future or spectres of the past loomed over her head, she could look at where she had brought life where it wouldn't otherwise be. Some days, that was enough. She smiled in appreciation at what was admittedly amateur work, the night’s sky helping to hide any inevitably made mistakes.
She enjoyed the sight for a moment longer, then turned to walk towards a neglected old tool shed that was well out of sight within the trees, far away from whatever warmth and comfort the larger house offered to everyone and anyone. She put a hand on the degrading wood of the entryway, giving one last sad smile at the garden as she dismissed selfish thoughts of taking the eventual harvest for herself. A breath cleared the uncertainty from her voice, and she pushed open the door.
“I'm home!”
= = = = =
It took a while for Altier to adjust to his situation, and even once he accepted that his mana wasn't being siphoned, he was still reeling from confusion. He had spent centuries with every year passing by without his notice, yet now he was painfully aware of each creeping second languidly dragging on with the expediency of growing grass. It was as disorienting as it was painfully nostalgic.
Time was something he was never good with, and it only got worse as a dungeon. He'd get lost in creating rooms, corridors, creatures, and whatever else needed doing, only pausing to watch or listen to the few adventurers he became interested in. There was a stint where he spent what felt like hours agonizing over new abilities or options while he let the system manage things in the background, though he supposed it might have been much longer. So many wasted days, yet he still hadn't managed to try everything he had gained access to. Some abilities were simply too niche, came with concerning titles, or held descriptions that made him wary. Anything with ‘Decay’ in the name was instantly ignored—he didn't need more reasons to fear his affinity, and from the few he took the effort to read through, they were always vile.
But his existence for the moment was no longer like those endless stretches spent pondering the minutiae of what would help his adventurers grow stronger. Now, he could follow the rhythmic sounds of footsteps and steady breathing that set a calming pace. They were someone else's, yes, but they contextualized how easy it was to slip away without the subtle noises of life that he had long since surrendered to help his family. Of course, there were more differences that he noticed since being removed from his crumbling cavern, and his sight was the newest change.
He never gave much thought to how far he could see before. Why would he? As a man, his world extended as far as he could fathom, yet was also confined to the room where he spent his days, and as a dungeon… Well, who was he to consider distance when an event happening miles away could be seen with a flicker of thought? Nothing was too far when it was within his creation. Or his ‘body,’ he supposed. Sadly, his entire perception currently consisted of the small sphere of his obsidian core, and maybe a finger's length beyond it—which is to say, not much. He could make out the fine details in the dirty burlap he was held against, and how pale moonlight slowly took over the blurred reds of sunset, but hardly anything more. It was all just frosted colours after a certain point, and he found it infinitely frustrating. He just wanted to peer beyond the haze and scaly hand holding him to confirm that the sky he remembered was still there. Alas, the sunlight faded at too quick a pace, yet one oh so agonizingly slow.
The ensuing darkness gave him nothing to do but think about where he was, not that he had any ideas. He was too curious about why he wasn't dead to bother much with his blurry surroundings after the soft-spoken kobold abducted him, thus why he only belatedly noticed how limited his worldview had become. There might have been a forest beyond his cave, but the greens and browns were gone, and the sounds of steps through brush was replaced by the distant din of a village. An idle curiosity pondered if he would recognize any descents of his ‘family tradition’ adventurers there, but he was being carried by what most considered a monster, so likely not.
That short musing was short-lived, however, and he brought his focus back to the matter at hand. He supposed he was being taken somewhere specific, but that was an obvious deduction, considering he was taken at all. The why of the matter was less so; for what purpose would someone want a Decay-aligned core? He hadn’t heard of them before…well, before he was made into one, but he couldn’t imagine many uses. Maybe he was being sold? His…kidnapper? His sudden companion seemed rather pleased by their discovery of him, so that might be the case, and it was morbidly amusing to think that a frail, sickly young man might one day become a coveted, highly valuable item. His abduction could also be a part of some cult’s nefarious activities, but he didn't want to think about that too hard. He experienced enough odd ceremonies from the adventurers who took the time to tell him their tales.
Either way, he wasn't in the dungeon anymore, and he couldn’t see where he was going. He tried to query his menu to glean an answer, but was met with a scrambled mess he suspected read ‘Synchronizing…’ and little else. It gave him a headache trying to make sense of it—which he didn't know was possible anymore—so he dismissed the text and distracted himself with blurs from whatever diluted senses he still had. There wasn’t much to observe other than the constant footfalls and the flicker of shadows on his companion’s burlap garment. They might have travelled through brush again, but it was too dark to really say for certain.
Eventually, there was something new. He heard an old latch rattle and rusted door hinges groan, then a shuddered clack that confirmed he was now in a building. His kobold acquaintance gently cooed at something before moving about the nearly pitch-black space, finally setting him down on a… He wasn’t sure what it was, besides old and wooden.
[D$#@m$n E@$*ded]
The headache from before became a blinding migraine that suffocated him under a flash-flood of suffering. Seconds passed in abject torture until it blissfully abated, the mental blinks clearing his mind enough to notice a change in his existence. Specifically, he could actually see something besides the rotting wood grain he was placed on top of.
And it wasn’t anything promising…
He was more or less in the centre of a room no bigger than twelve paces by maybe ten. Not a terrible size for a space, but it was clearly never meant to house someone. His resting place looked about as neglected as he surmised; it was an upturned feeding trough, he supposed, since calling it a table seemed too generous. The surface was rife with holes and degraded iron, so it was something that once saw regular use before being replaced and tossed into storage, never to see the light of day again.
Actually, most things in the room seemed to fit that description. The window shutters were installed with metal hinges that had since rusted them closed, the misalignment letting in a draft—and whatever weather was outside as well, most likely. A poorly carved bowl sat on the floor, the stain beneath it hinting that it collected any rainwater that slowly dripped from the leaky roof. The wooden floorboards looked old, splintered, and in need of maintenance or replacement, though an effort had been put into abrading it somewhat smooth lately.
A tiny and decrepit fireplace was to the left of the door upon entry, its brickwork slowly crumbling due to weathering and age. It was sized more for keeping the room warm during mild days than to keep away the frigid chill of night. Its base only held cold ashes, but there was a collection of deadwood and scraps nearby, so that would probably be rectified soon. A small wheel-less cart had been turned into storage against the opposite wall, some herbs and other foraged items stowed away in it for future use. Various things he remembered seeing his father and brothers use in the fields were scattered about, too. It was nostalgic to see, honestly, even if his recollections had blurred over time.
Bundles of tattered blankets formed a pair of nests in the far corner, the smaller of the two had a pile of rough plants nearby. That answered his silent pondering of the room's purpose somewhat, though he was pretty sure the bedding material was salvaged, and there didn’t seem to be any hay or padding underneath whoever was sleeping on it. He didn’t know what to think about the weeds; they were purposefully placed there, and whoever did so had taken the time to wash them, but it was still strange.
He couldn’t see a doorway besides the entrance, yet most of the hallmarks of residency were put where space could be afforded, however crude. All in all, he surmised that it was a gardening shed of sorts, and his new acquaintance apparently lived here. He wasn't sure what he was expecting when a creature he had only read about came into his dungeon, but it wasn't being brought to a rundown and decrepit shack for unknown purposes.
Even if he had been raised by parents who made a humble living at the best of times, and they had emptied their coffers for unsuccessful attempts to ease his ailments, his acquaintance's living space made him uncomfortable. His family's house was never anything fancy, true—it shared some of the worn qualities that inevitably gathered over the years—but it was never this bad. His home benefited from a father's touch keeping it robust and a mother’s love keeping it warm, whereas this place had seen neither in quite some time. Oh, there was evidence that such was once the case; a wall was adorned with carefully made and well-spaced hangers for the various gardening tools, though the implements themselves had become a victim of neglect. That being said, he could make out the fresh soil and recent scratches exposing furrows of silver, so they were seeing use again.
A scrape and clack of flint drew his attention to his kobold companion. They were kneeling in front of the fireplace, methodically sparking life back into a dead flame with twigs and dried leaves. A slow, steady breath into the reddened base illuminated its face with a dull orange glow, revealing its weary visage and the permanently etched smile that rested beneath its cold grey eyes. The black-scaled kobold looked tired, if he were to guess—much the same as Altier did when he spent countless days watching everyone living a life he could never have through the mossy window of his bedroom. He was probably humanizing it too much. Still, he was surprised by the muted pang of sympathy, and how he would feel much more than blithe curiosity after spending so much time alone in the crumbling crypt of his own making.
A mental breath cycled through him as he looked at the odds and ends yet to be observed. Hardly anything else was of note—everything else was degraded and neglected, too. He did notice a nest of blankets move though, which was as good a distraction as any. The answer to his previous ‘pile of weeds’ inquiry poked a tiny nose from a crease in the fabric, then rapidly pawed at the blankets to dig itself out. Altier stared at the creature in both recognition and confusion.
It was a rabbit…or at least it looked like one, assuming you were to also describe a porcupine and a sea urchin as well. He was pretty sure he didn’t remember any hare that had jagged metal-tipped fur, nor that had said fur arranged into a row of spiked horns that flowed down its spine, terminating at a large fluffy tail, which was equally bizarre to see. The whole of its coat could double as a weapon, with semi-sharp barbs sticking off seemingly at random, yet he remembered an adventurer saying most animals used that sort of thing defensively. He increased his focus as he tried to make sense of the odd creature. Surely he would have heard about—
[Hoppittttttt#%%÷ — Ferro-o-orabbit-it (Ma%$le)
Abil—]
[Null]
[Er0Rrrrrrrr—]
[Und#$f—]
He bit back the pain caused by the sudden intrusion of his menu, blanking out the text and mentally retreating to hide from the source. Did he just inspect something? How? Shouldn’t his entire…‘framework,’ was it…? Yes, that was it. Shouldn’t that have been corrupted? Why could he see the creature’s information when his entire framework was damaged? That was the first ability he lost, so why is it the first to be functional? How was it functional? Was it? It did just spit garbled text at him, but it was something, and that was more than he had gotten from it in a very long time. If it was somehow working—no matter how poorly—then that left the question of why he hadn't heard of anything called a ‘ferrorabbit’ before, assuming he read that correctly.
A soft thud vibrated the tro— table, startling him out of thought. He turned his attention to the button nose wiggling erratically at him, the short, stubby muzzle leading to surprisingly expressive and curious red eyes. Dull brown fur jutted off in random tufts and patches, changing to a darker tint on its paws and the upper half of its ears, while the tips of its spikes were a muted hue of iron. It still seemed just as soft as the less pointed variety he remembered, if a touch dirty. Upright ears twitched this way and that way as its head vigorously shook, eventually settling on pointing in his direction when it calmed down enough.
It was apparent that he had its undivided attention…for all of a few seconds. His scaly companion called something out in their foreign tongue, and whatever conclusion the pointy-furred animal came to, it seemed more interested in the kobold, parting from him after nudging his core with its nose.
[Cre-e-e—]
[Errrrrrr0r: Undefiiiiiiii—]
[Acceeeeep-t-t-t??]
[Yeeee— s s / Nnnnnnn—]
He winced at the intrusion, but the contents detracted from the pain. He couldn’t remember the system ever asking him a question without his explicit intent being involved. It wanted him to…accept something? Was it the system prompting him, or the animal? What was he to accept?
[Creatuuuuu—]
[Acce-e-e-%#@ed!]
…What?
= = = = =
“Hoppit, that's not food!” Ceele admonished half-heartedly, placing a larger branch on the burgeoning flame before she got to her feet. She wasn’t actually that worried; the stone was as big as his head, and she was pretty sure he couldn't bite into it. Hopefully. “Come here, momma has a treat for you!”
The ferrorabbit playfully bumped the gemstone and jumped off the low table, landing with a soft thud that belied how heavy he was for his tiny size. He wiggled in excitement, his ears flailing and releasing a slight clack whenever the two connected. It got even louder when she grabbed her basket and put away the useful herbs, taking out a specific item that she had gathered just for him. The little bun wasted no time in scurrying over and standing tall on his hind legs to judge if the offered plant was to his liking—and it was, based on how he dug in with enthusiasm. She stifled a laugh as she contentedly watched him nibble away on the treat, ignoring the guilt that came with knowing she couldn't afford proper vegetables for him. He had a hard life too, and it tore at her to have so little to give.
She came across Hoppit a year ago, during a storm that worsened while she was travelling between towns. The day had darkened to night in spite of it still being about noon, but the weather didn't care for how bright it was supposed to be. Wind and rain became a typhoon, forcing her to seek shelter in a thankfully abandoned den of what was probably a larger animal. She was fine with waiting out the squall, since the stone roof over her head was more than she usually had back then, but the sounds of dull bangs and thuds near her hideaway was followed by cries of animals yelping in pain. Curiosity won over reason, and she left the safety of her shelter to see what was causing the disturbance. Truthfully, she was hopeful that she'd come across scraps or the like, her hunger driving her forward, and she could always turn back if it seemed dangerous. Yet when she arrived at the source of the commotion, she found herself thinking of anything but food.
Two predators had fought over a small burrow, both trying to dig out a meal and taking offence to the other doing the same. What they didn’t know was that they were assaulting the home of ferrorabbits. Specifically, the home of an angry, protective, and well-fed mother that was keeping her newborns safe from the storm when predators decided to try their luck. From the scene Ceele came across, it was certainly obvious why most people dislike trying to hunt the creatures.
Sadly, the rabbit didn't survive an attack from two predators, but she did make their victory pyrrhic; neither could do much about their hunger with their bodies full of cuts and holes, and it was only a matter of time before they succumbed to blood loss or infection. The mother's sacrifice meant that the babies had avoided the imminent threat, but they were left unattended as a consequence, and it took an opportunistic bird swooping down to shake Ceele out of her shock. Despite her subsequent hurry, she only acted in time to save one of the orphaned young. The warren was new and barely dug out, which meant that it didn’t take much effort for the kits to be found—by both her and hungry maws. All she could do was scoop the ball of fluff into her arms and run back to the cave before anything else tried to eat it.
In retrospect, it was a stupid decision for a number of factors. She barely had the resources to supply herself, and an attempt to raise offspring of any type would only make the inevitable heartbreak worse. But when she saw how quiet and scared he was… How his tiny, shaking body calmed in her arms, those terrified red eyes seeking comfort… She should have just walked away when she knew there wasn’t going to be anything to fill her stomach. She should have put the baby animal down and let nature take its course…yet the preciously furry face stole her heart far too quickly for it to grow so cold. The next day was spent backtracking to the nearest town to get him something suitable to eat, which used most of her meagre savings. Still, it was worth every coin.
Hoppit had been accompanying her ever since. He grew quickly, transitioning from something she saved that stormy night into a presence she had grown to love like a child. The little lagomorph would bounce along beside her during her travels, then ride in her arms as he rested—though the latter happened with worrying frequency as of late. She hadn’t learned much about the springy herbivores, but she knew enough to say that he wasn't as big as he should be, nor was his fur as sharp. No matter how startled he was, his spiky coat never managed to do more than stiffen slightly, which was apparently a side effect of poor diet, according to snippets of conversation she had overheard on the topic. She wanted him to be healthy, but she didn't know what he needed. Not many farmers raised ferrorabbits, and those that did were far away, so she didn’t have anyone to ask what she should be doing. Her best course of action was to give him what little she had.
Ceele was well aware of how he would be better off on his own, but he followed her whenever she tried to set him free. Hoppit just kept launching into her arms and wiggling his ears, ecstatic that he was with her again, uncaring that food was scarce and that they spent most of their days travelling. No amount of cold nights spent bundling up under the tattered blankets she managed to find ever dampened his spirits, and he was content to eat the grass or flowers whenever he felt like it, oblivious to the fact that he wasn’t getting enough nutrition. He would dig and excitedly drag back oddities that he found, and the one time he found a plant that looked particularly good for him, he insisted that it be shared with her.
A black pit still lingered in her chest when she recalled how pleased he was while he munched on the rare vegetable he discovered, then how distressed he became when she wouldn’t have any as well. He bumped and nipped at her, all but begging her to eat. His ears pinned back against his head, his fur bristled in a way she hadn’t seen since. It was only when she took a small bite and let him inspect the new teeth marks that he seemed to calm down, but perhaps she had been looking too deep into the actions of her tiny friend. All she could say for certain was that he was scared she was going hungry.
A morbid thought wondered if his first mother had refused food shortly before being attacked, and he—as small and simple as he was—had connected the two events in his mind, making him absolutely terrified that something would happen if Ceele didn’t have something too. All of that fear, and desperation overwhelmed him, just because she was happier watching him eat. She was determined to erase that issue. She would find something that needed a worker and earn enough to feed them both. One day, she would be able to smile at how big and healthy her little fluffy boy had become, but until then, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to think about how she was spending so much time growing vegetables and fruit that he couldn’t have…
Every morning was an exercise in tending to the gardens while actively shoving down images of a pleased ferrorabbit happily eating the results. That never went well; no matter how determined she was to complete her duties without a single selfish thought, most tasks were done while picturing his full belly and delighted bounces. There were a few weeks until the fastest of the crops would be ready for harvest, and Ceele would have to collect them while fighting the urge to bring back just a few for him.
She couldn’t, because she knew exactly how quickly that could escalate. It would start small—A vegetable here, a fruit there—but seeing Hoppit happy was one of the precious few good things she had in her life. Crossing the line would only become easier each time. They couldn’t risk losing their new home over greed, and she was already betraying the trust given to her by housing a wild animal, especially one known to be a pest for crops. She didn't want to know how angry it would make her benefactors if she was caught taking their vegetables for one.
No matter how tame and precious Hoppit was, and no matter how well he listened, they would only see him as the same creature that ruined harvests in droves. Thus was why she had to tell him to stay cooped up by himself while she was working or scavenging. And to her surprise, he did.
Honestly, she had made the initial request with the expectation of needing to carry him back into their home until he understood that she wasn’t leaving him forever. There wasn’t much she could do to stop the ferrorabbit from digging through the old wooden building if he wanted to get out. He wouldn’t need to damage anything either—a rotting board on the door only needed a little push to nudge it out of the way, and his natural curiosity made sure he was aware of it. But no, Hoppit was well-behaved as always, keeping hidden until she walked through the door, where he would leap from the shadows to personally show her how good he was and how he stayed put like she asked him to. It never stopped amazing her that he had such a surprising level of understanding despite being an animal, and that was to say nothing of how young he was.
All that intelligence, joy, and companionship he offered her…and yet the best she could give back to him was the weeds from the garden and the odd plant she found while scavenging…
Soft clacks of flicking ears dragged her from her pondering, her mind returning to the present. Hoppit finished his treat of the small plant, then bounced in place and scurried over to his bowl of water, perfectly happy to have eaten only that. He was so joyful with how little she provided, approaching every day of scarcity with the same enthusiasm she could never muster, as if certain that everything would be alright.
“It’s bedtime, Hoppit,” Ceele announced through a soft sigh, stoking the fire with enough branches to hopefully last the night. The ferrorabbit perked an ear in her direction, then sat on his haunches to extend the rest of himself up, his two little forepaws adorably held to his chest as he inspected the room like he always did. She smiled and made sure everything was stored away, then laid down on her bundle of blankets, covering herself with the warmest one. Hoppit bolted over to snuggle once he decided everything in the shed was up to his standards, throwing himself to the floor in a dramatic flop of comfort. Her quiet laughter subsided as they both settled in for the night, her tail completing the rabbit’s encompassing cuddle, but her eyes fell towards the obsidian orb on the table, her thoughts following suit.
It sat there, just as she left it, as benign as anything else ever placed atop the improvised furnishing. Yet there was a sense of ease and purpose as well. The old wooden trough seemed…important with its adornment firmly laid upon its surface, and she couldn’t puzzle out why. She was starting to doubt her earlier excitement.
Should she sell it? Would anyone know where it came from? Would anyone know what it was, or if it was worth anything? If she could get even a modest sum for it, she would be able to buy clothing, food, and new bedding. It would be easier to convince someone to give her work if she was dressed better and wasn’t so thin, and then she would have the income to slowly improve both of their lives. She could pay for a wandering merchant to ask a ferrorabbit rancher about the animal, even if it would take time to get back to her, or maybe she could hire a local if they needed to go near one for some reason. The cost didn’t matter to her as long as it happened.
But there was something else bothering her about the idea of selling the stone. She had travelled so far with a tug in her chest, only for the feeling of wanderlust to dissipate as soon as she held it. Was that a sign? She was never one for things like ‘fate,’ but a niggling doubt in her mind discouraged the idea of making a profit off her discovery. Even if what she could gain was so very tempting, and even if Hoppit would be happier if she did…
She tore her dampened eyes away and closed them, ignoring the burning trails running across her face. It would be another early morning, and she needed to sleep so she could take care of the garden. Decisions like this could wait. Once she had nothing else distracting her, and she had time to properly think about it, she would see how she felt about the stone.
Eventually, she dozed off with Hoppit pressed against her chest, and a longing in her heart.
Next
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A/N: Patreon and Ko-fi will be 1 chap ahead this time around, and I've set it so everything from the lowest tier up can read the newest trashfire! Anything above that is sheer show of love. Hope you enjoyed!

Last Wednesday (May 29) I (63f) woke up and couldn't bear weight on my left knee.
No injury, no previous issue with that knee, no reason I could think of. I always sleep with a wedge shaped knee pillow to relieve back pain. Who wakes up with a bum knee?
I am a bartender and server. I went to work that day, but it was hard! I limped around all day. I slept with ice packs on my knee that night, with no improvement. I worked again the next day, but it was another very long day on my feet, limping and in pain.
I was off work yesterday (Friday) and today, Saturday (well, it's after 3am), and am trying to stay off my feet. Even going to the bathroom is hard, because I'm not used to only using one leg to lift myself up and down.
I am of normal weight. I have no health issues besides arthritis in my hands and (surprisingly) right knee, and general old age back pain. I am a relatively healthy, white woman with a job that I feel keeps me fit and active.
I take Centrum Silver for women, vitamin E, vitamin D3, and use medical marijuana for my arthritis. I take no prescribed, nor unprescribed, medication. At my last check up (less than a month ago, a telehealth visit) my doctor told me to start taking Omega 3, as well as glucosamine chondroitin, but I haven't started that yet.
Today I saw that my painful knee is quite a bit larger than the other. I felt around the joint and realized there is a large, soft, not painful to the touch, lump or swelling behind that knee.
I've been hoping that this was some kind of sprain I didn't realize had happened at the time of injury, but this painless swelling kind of scares me.
Does this sound like something familiar to you? Do I need to go in to see a doctor?

I'm writing this post to save myself work re-writing the same advice I've been shown in order to protect ourselves during solar-storms AND spiritual attacks.

Body protection

Solar storms are electromagnetic, our auras and body-electricity are also electrical in nature. We operate like alkaline water-batteries, which means thatwe run on minerals/salts/electrolytes and water. But we also need omega oilsto 'grease the wheels'.
Drink plenty of water and mind your mineral/salt intake. Seafood is a great source of the nutritions we need during solar storms and in general to protect our auras.
Stay away from processed foods, white sugar and corn syrup. Eat greens and try to get your protein from other sources than the flesh of animals. Eggs, milk and fish are fine, but factory-farmed animals are not good for us.
Solar storms are connected to a negative mental state.They weaken our defenses, make us more susceptible to illnesses and drain our energy. Faraday cages and radiation shields do work, they can be created fairly easily with aluminum foil glued on cardboard (shiny side up/out). I know it sounds silly but it really does work and is better than crawling into the fridge lol

Spiritual protection

Pray every day and ask for protection and help. Bless your ancestors and your family, ask for blessings and light. Ask for support to keep unwanted entities out of your home and ask your religious entities for protection.
As a Christian I ask Jesus Christ for protection, I ask Mary and the angels for protection, I ask specific saints for protection and I ask god and creation for protection. I also ask my ancestors for protection and I bless them and speak out loud that I ask that any curses or entities that have attached themselves to me or my family be released from us and let into the light or sent to their origins.
I wear a cross around my neck but you should use the protective symbol of your choice. It can be a family heirloom or other kind of protection symbols.
Pray The Lord's Prayer daily, the "Pater Noster" in your language. Meditate at will.

Home protection

Please follow the steps for 'cleaning house' Use salt, water and verbal commands.
There seems to be universal law in order that forbids non-human (non-ghost) entities to mess with us directly and if we order them away they have to comply.

1. Order any entity or energy that doesn't support you or your family out of your house in the name of the lord, Jesus Christ (if you're Chrisian, otherwise your own religious protectors)
2. Physically protect your house with a line of regular salt at every entrance or window. Place a carafe/glass or crystal bottle of fresh water in every window.

make sure that the lines of salt stay in place and switch out the water in the carafes regularly, it should contain 'living water' i.e. fresh water so let the tap run a bit and fill with cool, fresh water.
I've found open glasses are better at extracting stuff from the atmosphere but crystal carafes are better at charging the room when the sunlight shines through the bottle. Don't drink the water or water your plants with it, dunk it and fill with fresh water regularly.

1. Order everything out of your house again in the name of Jesus Christ and the angels or whomever you feel are your protectors (see above). Ask the angels and your ancestors for help to protect your home.

Repeat as needed.

I'm writing this post to save myself work re-writing the same advice I've been shown in order to protect ourselves during solar-storms AND spiritual attacks.

Body protection

Solar storms are electromagnetic, our auras and body-electricity are also electrical in nature. We operate like alkaline water-batteries, which means that we run on minerals/salts/electrolytes and water. But we also need omega oils to 'grease the wheels'.
Drink plenty of water and mind your mineral/salt intake. Seafood is a great source of the nutritions we need.
Stay away from processed foods, white sugar and corn syrup. Eat greens and try to get your protein from other sources than the flesh of animals. Eggs, milk and fish are fine, but factory-farmed animals are not good for us.
Solar storms are connected to a negative mental state. They weaken our defenses, make us more susceptible to illnesses and drain our energy. Faraday cages and radiation shields do work, they can be created fairly easily with aluminum foil glued on cardboard (shiny side up/out). I know it sounds silly but it really does work and is better than crawling into the fridge lol

Spiritual protection

Pray every day and ask for protection and help. Bless your ancestors and your family, ask for blessings and light. Ask for support to keep unwanted entities out of your home and ask your religious entities for protection.
As a Christian I ask Jesus Christ for protection, I ask Mary and the angels for protection, I ask specific saints for protection and I ask god and creation for protection. I also ask my ancestors for protection and I bless them and speak out loud that I ask that any curses or entities that have attached themselves to me or my family be released from us and let into the light or sent to their origins.
I wear a cross around my neck but you should use the protective symbol of your choice. It can be a family heirloom or other kind of protection symbols.
Pray The Lord's Prayer daily, the "Pater Noster" in your language.

Home protection

Please follow the steps for 'cleaning house' Use salt, water and verbal commands.
There seems to be universal law in order that forbids non-human (non-ghost) entities to mess with us directly and if we order them away they have to comply.

1. Order any entity or energy that doesn't support you or your family out of your house in the name of the lord, Jesus Christ (if you're Chrisian, otherwise your own religious protectors)
   
2. Physically protect your house with a line of regular salt at every entrance or window. Place a carafe/glass or crystal bottle of fresh water in every window.
   

make sure that the lines of salt stay in place and switch out the water in the carafes regularly, it should contain 'living water' i.e. fresh water so let the tap run a bit and fill with cool, fresh water.
I've found open glasses are better at extracting stuff from the atmosphere but crystal carafes are better at charging the room when the sunlight shines through the bottle. Don't drink the water or water your plants with it, dunk it and fill with fresh water regularly.

1. Order everything out of your house again in the name of Jesus Christ and the angels or whomever you feel are your protectors (see above). Ask the angels and your ancestors for help to protect your home. Repeat as needed.

39M, 1.8o/6", 7okg, Europe, smoker; severe depression; medication: paroxetine 4o mg, lithium 9oo mg. supplements: probiotics, magnesium, amino acids, folic acid, chromium, zinc, fish oil, vitamin b1 and b6).
Hello everybody,
Survived nitrogen suffocation four years ago, due to the intense twitching the body went into when already unconscious. Sadly, the body must have learnt that twitching is the thing to do, and so every night when about to fall asleep, i.e. "lose consciousness", it starts twitching violently.
Some twitching was always present in my life, but since then, the violence has increased massively, and seems to do so even more now. It's mostly in the right leg. The epicentre seems to have move up over the years from the toes to the bottom.
Sometimes, intense stimulation to the epicentre appeases it (like hitting pelvis tissue with a hammer), sometimes it goes until total exhaustion after hours. Night rest therefore is compromised.
I'm wondering if someone had any impulse to alleviate this? Anything I tried during the day does not seem to have an effect (move a lot, move a little, drink lots of water, change diet (red meat daily recently, upon recommendation - helps for mood, not for twitches), take supplements, do exercises before sleep, ...). It appears purely psychosomatic. Medication seems to aggravate it, but medication also still feels indispensable.
Thanks for any advice!

Disclaimer: this is a DIY method for superficial wounds only.
The first time I did this was last summer, less than 48 hours before I was supposed to go on holiday where it was absolutely scorching, I was on Epiduo, forgot that waxing your face is a big no-no and lifted the skin on half of my face. I’d accidentally lifted my skin about six months prior and those wounds are still visible today, over 1.5 years later, so I was panicking. But I did some googling and hence, developed my method for recovery. Flash forward to about 48 hours later, I met my friend at the airport, asked her how the scarring was and she replied, “Where?” I checked the mirror and sure enough the wounds that had been pink and glistening two days ago, and scabbing up until just 12 hours prior were nowhere to be seen.
I’ve since used a modified version of that method to treat my skin when it’s particularly dry and flaky, so dry that no amount of moisturiser was enough, and just yesterday when I woke up with benzoyl peroxide burns on my face and all over the underside of my chin. Well, it is now 24 hours later and I can confirm that the burns have almost entirely faded!
All you need is some aloe vera gel and petroleum jelly.
If you’re using a cleanser during this time, make sure it’s very gentle with no AHA or BHA in it, like Cetaphil’s gentle skin cleanser. For the aloe vera gel, you want it as pure as you can find it. Make sure it doesn’t have anything extra added such as an oil, or any sort of fragrance or colouring, such as the Lifeplan Aloe Vera Gel. Similarly, if you’re using Vaseline for the petroleum jelly, use the original formula. I would recommend generic petroleum jelly though which is far cheaper too.
All you need to do is cleanse your face and then, with your face still wet, generously apply some aloe vera gel, mixing it in with the water on your face. Keeping the area moist is vital for optimal healing and to prevent PIH, think hydrocolloid blister plasters, and while aloe vera has soothing properties and is hydrating, it is not moisturising. You need to add moisture for the aloe vera to hydrate the skin with. Then, no need to wait for it to dry, just apply a bunch of petroleum jelly on top to lock it all in and that’s it! You’re good to go!
If I feel my face get a bit dry beneath the jelly, I’ll go in on top with some more water and aloe and mix it in, or repeat the process again. Mixing the aloe with water also has the added benefit of greatly reducing any irritation the aloe alone may cause, as I personally find it drying and irritating whenever I use it in its undiluted form.
I would recommend trying to stay at home for at least the entirety of the whole first day, preferably the first two days so that you don’t have to worry about how your face looks with all this on, you really want to be heavy-handed with this, but also to protect your skin from the sun, the wind, the heat, the cold, the pollution… the outside world is currently your enemy unfortunately.
If it’s just not possible though—I had to leave the house to do a 4 hour long exam yesterday after waking up with chemical burns myself!—then your next best option is to just go in with a load of oil blotting sheets before you leave, just until your face is sufficiently matte enough, along with an SPF on top (you’ll probably need to blot again after this). Another alternative is just going in with a hydrating moisturiser on damp skin, along with an SPF, followed by a layer of petroleum jelly for protection + oil blotting sheets but I would only recommend this as a very temporary solution if you really can’t get the previous method to work for you, and after you’ve let the aloe + water do its thing for a while already.
If you CAN stay at home and your wounds are mild-moderate, then there’s also the original, unmodified method I employed. The first time I did this when my skin lifted, the steps I detailed above were just what I did when going to bed. In the morning however, after putting on the aloe gel, rather than going in with a layer of petroleum jelly, I proceeded to fill a spray bottle with a 1:3 water to aloe ratio, shook it up and spent the next day and a half (until the night before the flight) at home, spraying my face with the water-aloe mixture whenever I felt my skin was the slightest bit not wet until bedtime. It was messy but I had nothing else to do and nothing left to lose and it did end up working.
Anyways, I hope this helps someone. Let me know how it goes!

I did some research, and I found that beef tallow has a similar lipid profile to the skin:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/354375752_Beef_tallow_Extraction_physicochemical_property_fatty_acid_composition_antioxidant_activity_and_formulation_of_lotion_bars.
This makes it so that it seamlessly integrates with our own skins lipid barrier. As opposed to vaseline, which sits just on top of our skin, beef tallow integrates with it, making you skin feel moisturized instead of fatty.
Apart from that, there are other ingredients that would make it beneficial over vaseline:
-Vitamins: beef tallow has many vitamins useful for skin repair
-anti-inflammatory and anti-microbial: beef tallow is rich in fatty acids with anti-inflammatory and anti-microbial properties (like CLA)
So, theoretically it should be a lot more useful. Anyone got experience with it? I'll be trying it myself upcoming week, I'll update for those interested!

Day in the life of garbage head in full flight from reality. The walls are closing in, act your old age. Day in the life of a garbage head May 30,2024. Wrote this in my notes app:
Thursday second to Last day of May 2024. Using meth, acid, bars, and the occasional perc. enough rock in your system you can hear just about every noise in the universe. Sounds, Everything loud. The end is near. No one left to lie to, act your old age. at this depressing bar. Told dad I’m at an NA meeting. More lies.
Drinking blue moon. 9 dollars in wallet, don’t have enough for a proper drink. Walked over from parking lot, yakked out of my mind at the post office doing a favor for dad.
At restaurant bar now, 6 people here at 8:33 pm on a Thursday. I remember being here with two chicks in high school and it was popping. Two things seen better days: me and this fuckin restaurant.
Putting ice cubes up my nose to ease the meth burn. Forgot my Nasal spray. Im brittle and weak for 31. Air feels like Broken glass. Broken glass and broken vows. 5 straight days on a steady diet of crank, bars, booze, percs but mostly crank. Shelf life on meth is remarkably short.
Meeting L tonight. She wants to fuck. As desperate and depraved as I am. Addict herself. She’s 30 with stuffed animals in her bed? Gotta be trauma. Jesus fuck. This is my life now. Old career, old gf, think about them a lot. Being a garbage head is nothing more than a crazed day job. Rules are BS. So are the people that uphold them.
Im Overamped, let me try not to clog toilet again, get some vitamin C. Could use a 130 Dollar Walgreens run to get me straight: tums, q tips, liquid iv, nasal spray, beard oil, torch lighter, moisturizing oil spray, COQ10
Carmelita hold me tighter

So...this is likely going to be a long post, I apologize in advance as I kind of just have a lot of my mind to expand upon.
I am a 33 year old male, I first got Covid in late December 2023. It was rough, What complicates this for me is that I didn't feel good before Covid. For years I dealt with major fatigue issues, what some would consider similar to adrenal fatigue type symptoms, low blood sugar feelings every day, anxiety, all kinds of weird stomach/chest sensations, lack of energy, heat sensitivity, anxiety and more. The only things I previously had been confirmed to have that could have contribued to this were low Vitamin D and a hiatal hernia. Over the last few years I've had a batery of heart tests, stomach tests, all never really found much other than the hiatal hernia.
Covid was rough on me for sure. Had the worst cough I've ever had for weeks. Though oxygen remained normal, the worst muscle pains I've ever had, and stomach issues, frequent bowel movement. In the weeks following Covid I felt like my hiatal hernia had been made worse as I was just noticing symptoms in there more. I also feel sleepy way more than I did before Covid. The coughing stopped, but I dont know that any of it totally went away, there were periods of time where I forgot I had Covid and even thought I was totally over it a few times, but right now I am reconsidering it.
The last few weeks I have really been just not been feeling rough..and its nothing new to me totally but it all feels worse.
Muscle pains and soreness...I dont have horrible muscle pains, but I have pains that are just there that I didnt notice before, arms, legs, ribs, back, chest. Now weird feelings werent new to me, but its all so much more noticeable after Covid. Its almost like...My muscles are all just a little heavy/sore, like if I want to go on a walk, its like starting an old car, something at 33 I dont think is the norm, just sitting here typing this paragraph I've noticed a strain/muscle pain in my left knee, upper thigh, fingers, and left wirst. They are low on the pain scale like 2 or 3 out of 10, but they are there. It is similar to the muscle feelings you get when you are sick but not quite on that scale, just a lower level daily 24/7 version of it.
My hiatal hernia has felt so much worse in the last few weeks. I am noticing so much more pressure around it, its almost like a baby kicking in my lower chest/upper stomach when I move positions or lean wrong, or strain. I've had lots of nausea last few weeks also going along with it, it also goes along with the low blood sugar feelings I get which are fixed by foods (not sugar), and sometimes its hard to tell if I am sick or hungry or what.
Along with the theme of stomach issues, and this one gets a little more graphic...I haven't been normal with bowel movements since I had Covid. Atleast my usual. I was..pretty regular pre-covid. Every couple days, maybe once a day, but it was..simple..relatively the same...Since I had Covid, its extremely irregular, much more frequently it can be more diahhrea like, usually very soft, sometimes multiple times a day which used to be extremely rare for me, and where I used to be able to hold it before, it seems to come on much more suddenly for me now.
For a weird one, I feel like my anxiety is worse again since Covid...now I had anxiety for years which was actually caused by all the strange symptoms I had over the years. But it had been maintained and stable before Covid. Now it feels like any adrenaline release at all absolutely screws up my body. Good or bad energy. Watching a sporting event and getting excited = feeling bad...Even gaming...I am an eSports compeititor, mainly with sim racing, but I enjoy other games. I've noticed that if I play a game like Fortnite now, when I get done if its a tense game, I am borderline panic attack and my body freaking out for literally no reason, and it comes on out of nowhere once i'm done. Fortnite seems to do it worst of all games.
There are more things im sure I am forgetting but its very late, and this really hit me today that maybe somehow Long Covid is playing up all of these things after all. I did have an episode of my heart racing last month and they said it was POTS..I had an EKG while it was going, EKG was normal, Chest XRay was normal...I dont necessarily believe it was POTS but I also cant rule it out as I have had other POTS like symptoms before.