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Intro (Timestamp: 1:47) - Rachel: Welcome back to another episode of Rachel Goes Rogue. This is your host, Rachel Savannah Leviss. Today, we are talking about part three of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. - Rachel: It has finally come to an end, season 11. It's been a long time coming, and we're here to react. I have my producers with me, and as usual, they will be asking me some questions to get my perspective on what we just watched during the reunion.
Well, first of all, I want to start off with asking you just your overall thoughts on the reunion, watching it. How do you feel? (Timestamp: 2:19) - Rachel: Overall, I just feel tired at this point. I don't enjoy watching this show, and (Rachel starts to get emotional) I'm just happy that it's over. It was good that they didn't talk about me very much this last episode, part three. - Rachel: That's great, but it's been really difficult watching each week. And I feel like I can finally start to move on from all of this, because it's been really difficult. It was really heavy and sad. - Rachel: And I think everyone on that cast is struggling. And I would be too if I was there. I mean, I'm struggling just watching it from the sidelines, so I can only imagine what it's like being on that stage.
So you're getting really emotional right now. Where is this emotion coming from? (Timestamp: 3:28) - Rachel: It's coming from a place of feeling like I haven't had much room to go. Feeling like stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. Because this entire time, I have been preparing for them to slander my name, to paint me in the worst light. - Rachel: And my goal with this podcast was to be able to represent myself, to defend myself, to share what I've learned through my time that I took away and my recovery, and just to shed more light on the situation. - Rachel: And it hasn't been easy. It's been an extreme rollercoaster of emotions in a lot of different phases, getting sucked back into it, and then feeling like all consumed by all the comments and everything, and then completely cutting off communication with the outside world and living in my own reality in the moment. It's all about that balance, and it has not been easy to move on. - Rachel: I don't think it's been easy for any of the cast to move on rehashing it and talking about it and having other people tune in. It's not typical. It's not normal. And the day has finally come that the show, season 11, is over, and it's a relief to me because I don't have to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. - Rachel: I don't have to think about what lies they're going to spread about me, and I don't have to think about what I need to defend myself about. And then following week, I feel like I can finally start to live my life again.
And so you're kind of talking about the boundaries that you've been setting by staying away and cutting people off, which obviously boundaries was a really big topic at the reunion. You obviously set some really strong ones by not returning to the show. What's your take on this discussion of boundaries? Do you agree with Lala or do you side more with Ariana when it comes to boundaries when it's in regard to filming the show? (Timestamp: 5:40) - Rachel: I could see both of their points of view. Setting a boundary for yourself is not an easy thing to do. And when other people are upset that you set a boundary for yourself, that's usually a telltale sign that that person is using you in some way and is not happy that you have this new boundary because it's not serving them. - Rachel: So, I can see why Ariana upholded her boundaries by not speaking to Tom, even though she actually did film with Tom this whole season, or for the later part anyway. But she refused to have that conversation with Tom at the end of the show, and I commend her for it because it would have been a fake conversation. You could tell that Tom, his only motive to having that conversation with her is for camera purposes and storyline purposes. - Rachel: Therefore, it's not an authentic conversation. It would have been crocodile tears, the whole thing. And I completely understand Ariana walking away. I walked away too, and people weren't happy about that either. - Rachel: For Lala's point of view, I can understand her perspective in wanting to have a good TV show for her livelihood and the longevity of her career. If you're going to commit to filming, then I can see why Lala is upset, because you are not only committing to filming with this person, I can see her point in that she is living under the same roof as Tom. - Rachel: They're living together, they're filming together, yet in Lala's eyes, Ariana is being stubborn by not filming with Tom, or that one scene. Who even cares about that one scene? I don't know. - Rachel: It's all so silly to me, but boundaries are important. I was in a place where I didn't have boundaries, and I was really trying to appease production and put on a good show. That became my priority season 10.
And where do you think the line needs to be drawn, you know? When at the end of the day, this is a paycheck and this is a job, versus this is someone's real life. You've talked a lot about wanting to live in reality. Where do you think that line should be drawn? (Timestamp: 8:32) - Rachel: I think that's an impossible question to answer when you're filming a reality TV show, because the line is so blurry, it's impossible to know what's real and what's not. And the more I'm out of it, the clearer I can see that. We see it with Tom Sandoval when he talked about production. - Rachel: He did the New York Times article, and he stopped talking mid sentence when a plane flew over or a truck drove by, whatever it was, because the audio, typically when we're filming a show and a plane flies by, you stop talking so that the audio can pick up normally without the distraction in the background. - Rachel: So it's like programmed in your mind to think a certain way, to act a certain way, to talk a certain way, to pursue certain things, where it becomes a part of your patterning. We also see the lines get blurred with Scheana and the comment section, and what is real life and what is not, what is her own true motivation for doing certain things, and what is influenced by outside commentary. - Rachel: That gets so blurry, and when you're all consumed in the perception of yourself, how can you really be sure that you're operating from a place of an inner knowing? That's a boundary that's blurred. With Lala, she clearly prioritizes the success of the show because she wants to secure her paycheck, and when people are setting boundaries for themselves and it's conflicting with what she wants and what is successful in her eyes, that sparks an anger within her. - Rachel: And it's all fabricated to a certain point because the bottom line is this show. So, I think it truly is impossible to live a real life and be on a reality TV show.
So, do you think it's fair for Lala to direct that anger towards Ariana? Or do you think she should be directing it more towards the show? (Timestamp: 11:12) - Rachel: Oh, no, not at all. I don't think that it's fair that Lala is directing that anger towards Ariana because Ariana has been very clear with her boundaries since the very beginning and…
I guess if she's feeling this way, do you think maybe she should have upheld her boundaries more if she was feeling so resentful towards someone doing the same? Do you think she's feeling like she regrets things that she had said in the past? (Timestamp: 11:35) - Rachel: I think she did uphold her boundaries. I think that she feels like she hasn't been supported the same way that Ariana is being supported. And it's probably not a good feeling, but she maneuvered differently than Ariana has. And Lala doesn't extend the same empathy towards others. So it's harder to support her, I believe.
She does make a point to say, many times, that she feels like things are not being honest on camera. She points out Tom and Ariana’s relationship being one of those things. Katie has a flashback moment where she also calls it out. Do you agree that things are not always honest on camera? (Timestamp: 12:12) - Rachel: Totally. Yeah. I think the point that Lala is making is that Tom and Ariana haven't been honest about their relationship on camera. - Rachel: And I think people are getting caught up in Lala being hypocritical because she wasn't honest about her relationship with Randall. Okay, yes, that might be true. But the point is that Tom and Ariana haven't been good for quite some time. - Rachel: And their relationship that was portrayed on camera for fans to see was not an accurate representation of their relationship. I see the frustration because I agree with that too.
Even on your part, how does it affect you as someone on the show when people aren't fully honest on camera? How does that affect the rest of the cast? (Timestamp: 13:21) - Rachel: Yeah, it affects everyone when people aren't fully honest on the show. I mean, I wasn't fully honest the season 10 reunion. I was still covering up for Tom Schwartz. - Rachel: I was still covering up for Tom Sandoval. I was still going along with that narrative, and it would have been much better to just be open and honest about it. But of course, Tom was like, no, that wouldn't be good for business. - Rachel: It wouldn't be good for Schwartz and Sandys if people knew that the Schwartz kiss wasn't authentic and we need that to seem real. So it does affect everyone when you're not being honest, because it portrays a certain picture that isn't reality, and the whole point of reality TV supposedly is to be real, following these real people's lives. - Rachel: So honesty would be like the most important value characteristic you would think that everyone on this show should have. But it seems like nobody does.
Well, speaking of honesty, Ariana kind of called out Tom and his motives behind wanting to apologize on camera. He finally does get that moment during the reunion to apologize to Ariana. He has some words when he does, he calls the affair something he regrets every day. He says that he wears it like a badge of shame. On your end, how did that feel watching that? (Timestamp: 14:46) - Rachel: It's hard to tell if Tom is being honest or not. Even in the Secrets Revealed episode, when he was asked how many girls he had sex with since me, and he had to pause and think about if he was going to be honest or not, he's just been caught in so many lies that it's hard to tell if he's being truthful. - Rachel: But hearing Tom say that he regrets getting involved with me every single day, I regret it too, so it is a little bit painful, but it's also like maybe something is registering for him. - Rachel: I don't know. But then again, his actions speak a lot louder than his words. He knows what words to say, and then it seems that he fails to follow through with meaningful action. And that's where true amends come into play.
There was just, I feel like, a lot of pain in the room all around. You kind of acknowledged that at the beginning of this episode. What do you think that this pain, and even Lala saying that she was okay seeing some of those friendships end, what do you think that means for the future of this group? (Timestamp: 16:07) - Rachel: I don't see much of the future for this group. It looks pretty shattered. It looks like these friendships are not healthy friendships. - Rachel: The dynamic between Lala and Scheana is not a healthy dynamic. It seems to be like a power imbalance. It seems like Scheana is trying to appease Lala to make sure she's secure, and she's getting certain needs met in that friendship because Ariana hasn't been around for Scheana the way that she's used to. - Rachel: Yeah, you could tell that Scheana’s struggling with coping with that. It seems like Lala's really on a wavelength of not effing with anybody on the cast right now. It seems like her friendship with Katie isn't strong because Katie's gotten really close with Ariana. - Rachel: It seems like even her friendship with Scheana is a little rocky. I think she sees Scheana as someone that's not...How do I want to say this? - Rachel: And I hate saying this word, because I don't want to like categorize somebody as something, especially because I've been called this before too. But I think seeing how Lala reacted to everything and how Scheana was trying to be the fixer and appease Lala, and it just didn't seem like enough for Lala. I think Lala sees Scheana as someone who is weak, perceived weakness. - Rachel: I'm not saying that Scheana is weak. And I think that there's a lot of alliances and manipulation happening, and none of that is healthy for our friendship dynamic. I can see why the show is taking a hiatus, because it just seems so fractured
Well, it definitely seems like at the very end of the episode, Scheana was very sure to get that last word in. I felt like she was looking directly at Lala and almost begging for her to hear her out that she was on her side. And it really did seem like the very end, Scheana had to choose. Is she Team Ariana or Team Lala? Do you think she made the right choice? Do you think she needed to make a choice, or do you think that she's putting this pressure on herself? (Timestamp: 18:21) - Rachel: Ooh, that's a good question. I think she feels a lot of pressure from the outside perspective, and she doesn't want to, obviously, like burn bridges with Ariana or anything. And I think Ariana has been very gracious towards Scheana. Do I think that she needed to choose sides? I don't think so. I don't know. - Rachel: I can see Lala's frustration probably because I'm sure Sheena and Lala have had conversations about the whole situation. And without Ariana there, I'm sure Sheena's singing a much different tune than what we're hearing at the reunion, and that's sparking some frustration in Lala. And I'm sure that was a similar feeling when she called out Katie about it too. - Rachel: So yeah, I think that Lala feels pretty isolated, I want to say, in her feelings. And now that it's aired, and I did check Reddit for the first time in a very, very long time, it seems like the majority of people are hating on Lala right now. I'm human. - Rachel: I do hold some resentment towards Lala for the way that she's treated me over the years. I do empathize with her a little bit because all the hate online is just a little bit ridiculous. And I think also people are afraid to speak a differing opinion than the team Ariana side because people are just ruthless online and they don't want to hear a differing opinion. - Rachel: And if you do, then you get shunned out, too. It's very, my therapist calls it tribal shaming, where if you're not following the rules of the tribe, spoken or unspoken, then you're cast out and you're shunned.
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I mean, it does feel like the fans have had more of an impact on this season than ever. Would you agree with that? (Timestamp: 23:24) - Rachel: Yeah, especially because as they were filming this show, the fans were boots on the ground. We're going to production, we're going to filming, and we're going to take photos and document what we saw and all that stuff. Like it was very interactive in a way. - Rachel: I think with after show this year, it was a little bit different because some things have changed since the ending of filming last summer. One of the things was me starting my own podcast and speaking freely about my experience and my opinion and the after show gave the cast an opportunity to rebut what I was saying and it provided more of a context. - Rachel: And I think with more time passing from the end of filming last summer to, you know, early January, February of this year, when they filmed the after shows, cast dynamics shifted because as we all know, now watching the finale, Lala and Ariana did not end on a good note whatsoever. - Rachel: And so, you know, she had some choice of words to say during the after shows. And it seemed like she really got Sheena to support her with that.
Speaking about the fracturing of this cast, something about her did recently open. Not many cast members were in attendance to this opening. What's your take on that? (Timestamp: 24:56) - Rachel: Interesting. Do you know who went? - iHeart Lady: I know Schwartz went - Rachel: It seems a little telling that maybe Sheena and Lala aren't on the best terms with Ariana right now, because they went to like the Broadway opening that Ariana did for Chicago. And they also went to Dancing with the Stars. But this is all before they knew that she didn't watch the show. And so that was all before the reunion and everything. So yeah, it seems like maybe they're not on the best of terms right now.
What are your thoughts on production holding the last five minutes until the reunion to show to everyone? (Timestamp: 25:47) - Rachel: I wonder if they got word that Ariana wasn't watching the season. And they did that as a way to ensure that they would get a reaction from her, kind of like forcing her hand a little bit, forcing her into a situation that she did not want to be in. It was very strategic in that way. And it was something new. Like, we've never done that before. It was creative, for sure, on production's part.
Do you think it was fair to Ariana? (Timestamp: 26:27) - Rachel: There's a commitment, and part of that is watching the show and having an opinion on what's happening besides your own story that you're sharing. So in a way, it's like ensuring that Ariana did have an opinion on it. So very eye opening, to say the least.
I want your take on Tom's final words. He says, I love it. It's good for me. A lot of people in the room were very shocked by that. Tom even has a reaction to it, where he shakes his head no. They didn't even really press him on what he meant by that either. What's your take on all of that? (Timestamp: 26:49) - Rachel: I wish they pressed him on what he meant by that a little bit more. And Ariana was pretty much the only person that called him out on it too. She caught it. - Rachel: She was like, that exactly proves my point, that you are doing things for the audience, for the production value, and for his own story purposes. I guess in Tom's eyes, having Ariana refuse to film and walk off was good for him because he felt like he completed his job and fulfilled his duty with what production was asking from him. And Ariana was not. - Rachel: And I think selfishly, he probably thought that it would give him a better chance of having more of a redemption story. - Rachel: Because, ultimately, production is the one picking and choosing what they're going to share on the show and edit and put certain music behind certain scenes to make it seem even more of a certain way. Tom knows how to play into that. But I would have loved to hear what his explanation for that comment would be.
Why do you think they didn't press him? (Timestamp: 28:34) - Rachel: I think that they're protecting him, like they always have been.
We did see something interesting at the very end with Lisa stepping up and taking Ariana's side, which is kind of a different tune. You've talked about this before, where she seems to protect the guys a lot of the time, but then she changes her tune at the very end of the episode and takes Ariana's side. What are your thoughts on that? (Timestamp: 28:39) - Rachel: I think Lisa is very strategic with what she puts out there as well. And she knows what people are saying about her, with her always supporting the guys. So that could have been a motivation behind her changing her tune and supporting Ariana in that way. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard because I think also Lisa is very aware of who the fan favorites are. It's her show. - Rachel: She's an executive producer on this show. So she's not a dummy when it's coming to that. I think it helps her if she is supporting Ariana because she'll praise Ariana for walking away and end up holding her boundaries. - Rachel: But then when it comes to me, I don't even remember what she said about me. But when it comes to me walking away and setting a boundary for myself, I've been told that I'm a coward and I'm running away from my problems. - Rachel: So that part for me gets a little frustrating because it's like, and also the fans praising Ariana for upholding her boundaries and walking away and supporting her and telling her like, you know, she's outgrown this show. - Rachel: She should move on and do something even better with her life. And she's finding out now that these aren't her true friends and like good for her for upholding her boundaries and walking away from this situation. And I've done the same thing and it has been met with scrutiny.
Lala compares her situation with Randall to Ariana a lot throughout this reunion. Do you think the two are similar at all? (Timestamp: 30:37) - Rachel: I don't think that the relationship that Lala had with Randall is comparable to the situation that Tom and Ariana were in. It's hard to get on Lala's side with some of the things that she's saying, because the way that she spoke about her relationship with Randall is like bragging about doing BJs for PJs and getting gifted a Range Rover very early in their relationship and not being honest about who she was seeing and the situation that was happening basically. And it just seemed like she was in it for the money and like to secure her success and fame. - Rachel: So it's hard to get behind that, especially when she's been so outright about it. Unfortunately, Randall wasn't the stand up guy that she was selling him to be. We weren't buying it. - Rachel: In Ariana's case, viewers got to see that relationship develop over the years, whereas with Lala's, he wasn't around, like it was secret for a while. And, you know, it's harder to develop feelings towards a person or a relationship when you're not seeing it play out on camera. I think Lala has a lot of anger, maybe even towards herself, for the situation that she allowed herself to be in. And I think she might be taking that out on Ariana.
How hard is it to be really honest when you're in this position? And do you think certain cast members have an easier time doing this? (Timestamp: 32:22) - Rachel: So this is like where your own values come in. Like, are you an honest person or are you not? Because there are people in this cast that are not, and we know who they are, and they have no problem lying, and it doesn't bother them when they lie. - Rachel: And for me, I'm working towards living a more authentic, honest life. And part of that is being honest with my emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and expressing that, and doing that in a way that is still respectful, because I'm not trying to hurt people in the process. And I am trying to express myself honestly and be true to myself. - Rachel: So I think it just depends on who you're asking. I mean, it's definitely not easy. It's definitely hard because you're on this platform, this public arena where you're opening yourself up to scrutiny. - Rachel: And if other people have differing opinions than you do, or if your opinion is the minority, you're basically going to be harassed and scrutinized. And so sometimes for people, it's easier to not be fully honest with their thoughts and feelings in order to save face or in order to go with more popular opinion because it's perceived to be safer that way. But I don't know. - Rachel: At this point, it's like your words aren't going to hurt me. You can say whatever you want to say about me online, and I've survived this far. So whatever else you say about me is not going to affect me any more than it already has. - Rachel: I've developed thick skin through this process, and I've come to the point where I value my friendships that are real in the sense of I interact with these people in real life. I care more about people's perception of me when they actually meet me and interact with me and the vibes I give off that way. So you get to a certain point where it's almost your duty to show up for yourself and be honest with how you feel and how you think about a certain thing in that moment. - Rachel: And your opinions can change with time too and with more information. It's not like I'm going to say this one thing and I'm always going to feel this way. It's always changing, it's always developing, we're always getting more information, and we're always experiencing new things that change our perspective on life. - Rachel: So it's just your duty to represent yourself in the most authentic way so that your people will find you.
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Well, I think there was one kind of shining moment, I'll say, even though it was a really emotional moment. But the moment between, and this is a little bit of a pivot, but the moment between Schwartz and Katie, I found really interesting, where Andy was asking about their relationship. It seemed like this season, they had a little bit more of a playful dynamic. But Schwartz gets really emotional, saying that he doesn't regret how their relationship ended. But you can kind of see in his eyes that he tears well up. He gets really emotional. What did you make of that moment? (Timestamp: 38:08) - Rachel: We don't think we've really seen a moment like that between Tom, Schwartz, and Katie. It really seems like they've come to terms with how the relationship ended, and that it was for the best. But it seemed like there was a lot of fond memories and just appreciation for one another, that I don't think I've really seen that dynamic between them before. - iHeart Lady: To me, it seemed like in a season where there was a lot of hurt, that seemed like the one moment of maybe seeing two people that are going through the process of healing. - Rachel: Viewing that, it did seem like they were both coming from a place of healing, because they weren't throwing insults at each other or trying to bring each other down. It was very respecting one another and appreciating the moments that they did have together while it lasted. And that's refreshing to see on this show.
Lala said something at the very end where she said it was really hard for her to show up to season nine reunion, I believe it was. You know, she didn't want to talk about certain things, but she showed up. Ariana said the same thing where she could say the same about the season 10 reunion. She didn't want to be there. You could probably say the same thing about the season 10 reunion. You didn't want to be there as well. Is it fair to say everyone's been in a position where they didn't want to be somewhere, but they did anyway? (Timestamp: 39:44) - Rachel: 100%. Yeah, totally. And that's like the part of committing to this show. It's a commitment. And even though you don't quite know what you're signing up for, you know that it's not going to be necessarily easy. And there's a challenge in that. - Rachel: And I think, just speaking for myself, there was an opportunity for growth for me in that. Yeah, I think we've all been in a situation where we didn't want to show up for something and felt, I don't think obligated is the right word, but we made a commitment to being there, and we followed through with our commitment. And it's hard.
You started this episode off by acknowledging that there was a lot of healing that this cast needs to do. As someone who has taken a step back from filming, you've had this time to kind of come back to your own reality. What can this cast expect when you have that moment to kind of breathe and have that separation and you rejoin reality for a minute? (Timestamp: 41:07) - Rachel: Oh, okay. That is a loaded question. Because I think that there's a little bit of fear with not being the current topic of conversation. - Rachel: I think addiction is the wrong word, but there's a little bit of the dopamine hits that you get when you're being talked about on a reality TV show and the fear of that going away permanently could be a scary thing. But taking time off and re-centering with yourself, I think is like the best thing for this cast right now, because we don't want to be forced into situations that we don't want to be in. That's not living an authentic life. - Rachel: I mean, I've been worrying about scenes and storylines, and I haven't even been a part of this show, but now it feels good not to worry about that. And I do have to say, just like reading all the comments on Reddit right now, it's like hardly anybody is talking about me, which is a great feeling. It's just so much more freeing when you're not living your life for somebody else's entertainment anymore. - Rachel: It just feels like you get your life back a little bit. It's so complex, and I think it's hard to understand if you haven't been through being on a TV show for millions of people to comment on and judge your life. I don't think humans are meant for that, and there's no way that that's healthy. - Rachel: Yeah, I said that I think the cast, we have a lot of healing to do. We, as in, I still do too, and part of that is coming back to reality. And I really don't think that we've had a minute this whole season. I think it's going to be good for everyone.
Has this year though felt different to you? I feel like you're like half in, half out (Timestamp: 43:42) - Rachel: Oh, yeah, it's felt so different. But I think like a large part of that has to do with going to the meadows and really reconnecting with myself and learning about my issues and how it was showing up for me and really coming to terms with like, what is this piece of external validation and how is that motivating me? And is it even real? - Rachel: And just like really re centering back into myself and gaining a lot more perspective with that. Without the meadows, I would not be where I am right now. There's no freaking way. So it is. I'm living a new life. I really am. - Rachel: And I feel like I haven't really been able to truly have the opportunity to live my new life to the fullest because this show has been holding me back. And I know that that's partially my fault too because I'm indulging and speaking about it, but I'm really looking forward to the days when I can truly move forward and evolve into something even more magnificent.
Outro (Timestamp: 45:02) - Rachel: Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive video content at Rachel Goes Rogue Podcast.
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Hi all I hope this fits this sub. I'm about to purchase a small farm of about 14 ha and I have a few questions. My goal is to eventually have a small scale cattle operation (8-10 cow calf pairs) but I have never worked with cattle before so I'm having a few questions. My family mostly dealt with large scale crops and some sheep, so I'm not completely oblivious and there are people who can help me sort some stuff out. I have always been drawn to cows so I've been meaning to give it a go.
First I wanted to have a real opinion of how viable this is, starting something like that with almost zero experience. My plan is before I get my first cows I'll talk to my neighbors. (where I'm from most people have small scale operations of up to 10 pairs and people are very friendly to their neighbors) So I thought maybe I'll help some of them out for a year or so whenever they needed help in order to pick up the basics (probably for free) Insemination is commonly done by vets here, I've been told by farmers, so I don't have to learn that. (At least not early on)
Second, assuming I'll be doing rotational grazing and that grass grows here year round and very fast (I live in a very fertile area, and it rains here year round) would I need to treat the pasture in any way or just leave it be?
I was also wondering whether or not Heavy machinery is needed? I've been reading and I've seen that some operation do use heavy machinery, but those places look like they're raising more cows than they're land can naturally support.
Last what is a good book to read about raising cattle? I just started reading "Raising Beef Cattle for Dummies" which provides me with allot of info that I, a dummy, needs
I'll also say that I have allot of time to learn, and I'm planning to start really small (maybe 2/3 pairs until I get the hang of it). I'm not planning on making a profit for the first few years, so I'm realistic about it. I thought about maybe hiring someone with experience for a year so that way I don't feel like I impose on my neighbors and I'll feel free to be as stupid and useless as I'll be haha

You ever met a rich crackhead chick who’s parents bought her and her heroin addicted boyfriend a whole house, a new car, monthly allowance and seen it all come crashing down? This sounds like a fantasy, but it’s actually reality in the streets of Montgomery County, MD. This is the life of a rich crackhead named Amy.
Before I tell you about Amy, we gotta get the background first and go all the way back to 2021(if you want to skip and get right to Amy, just go to paragraph 11/12, but you’ll miss out on a lot). It’s the year 2021, I had just came back a couple months ago from pulling off EDD fraud. One day I was driving drop top mustangs in Malibu, the next I’m seeing my accounts get frozen and my money slowly begin to dwindle down. Before I knew it I was back in DC, broke and back to square one. Now from the time I was in Cali to the time I returned a lot of shit happened. I fell off with a lot of people, so I found myself hanging around an unusual crowd of people, the Bethesda kids.
You see before I dropped out of Towson University, I had met this nigga named LP, he was from Bowie and he went to school out Bethesda, but me and him got along because we had two things in common: we both liked DMV music, and we both liked to party our asses tf off. But that’s a story for another day.
You see LP put me on to a lot of people from Bathesda, I had never really hung around white folks before, and with the connections he gave me i made friends with a couple of crackas and even met my now deceased ex girlfriend. I was going to the craziest white functions and constantly turning up. But I saw more than a chance to have fun, saw this as a money making opportunity🤑 cha ching! And it was through LP that I met some friends who introduced me to a nigga named Swervy.
You see them white folks love to drink beer and smoke weed at parks, so one day I’m meeting up wit one of my good men, Ju. Ju is the typical school shooter typa fella, so it’s no surprise what I saw when I linked up with him at the spot. With him was this long haired European foreign exchange motherfucker whose name I forgot, and this bearded Eastern European nigga named Swervy, and he was wildin the fuck out. Mind you I’m from the projects, and all these bathesda niggas I’m meeting are rich ass motherfuckers who live in multi million dollar mansions. Keep in mind these cats may be rich, but everybody out bathesda is rich so these are basically the rejects. Pretty much the closest thing to a street nigga you can find out there.
As I’m getting introduced to some of these cats, Swervy pulls out a syringe. So I ask “Man wtf is this man doing,” “He’s shooting up fent” casually says Ju. That was the first time I ever witnessed someone shooting up a drug, and it wouldn’t be the last. Swervy would eventually become Amy’s boyfriend. And he was quite the yapper, he’s one of those motherfuckers who peaked in high school, and now he’s just watching his life come spiraling down, at least that is until he meets Amy…
In this meet up I learn a lot about Swervy. He was basically a kingpin at the age of 16-17. He would get shipments of 10’s of thousands of Xanax bars and sell them like hotdogs at a baseball game. These weren’t your regular junkies, these are the children of senators, buisness owners and lawyers. So you didn’t have to worry about a junkie saying he’ll pay you back, money was nothing to these crazy ass white folks. In the midst of all this yapping, I hear something that caught my attention.
“Yea so basically my cousins got like seven pounds of weed and 500gs of thc wax that they’ll give me if I can pick it up, it’s all the way in Arizona” Says Swervy.
🤑🤑🤑Cha mothafucking ching! This was the money I was talking about. Now driving cross country with pounds of weed and concentrate was risky, but shit I’d give my left nutsack for that kind of opportunity. And I might as well have, because a week later I was on my way to Tucson, with this Russian speaking drug addict I had just met the other day. Mind you I’m driving around in a red Lancer, with paper Vermont tags that I had printed online. I might as well Have went up to the police station and asked any of them if they wanted to buy drugs. My young naive dumbass didn’t realize the risk, all I was thinking about was 🤑🤑🤑 cha Ching!
I can sit here all day and tell you about that drive to Arizona, but imma keep it short and simple so we can get to this Amy chick. It was a fucking disaster, but we end up somehow making it back. We got the pounds and the concentrate, but it was all fucking shake! I’d be lucky to sell that shit for $100 a zip. Anyways, the trip opened my eyes to something, this nigga Swervy was a crashout crackhead dummy, and if I continue hanging out with him I was gonna end up dead or in jail. So I begin distancing myself, as I watched this man throw his life away from a far.
Now months go by, and at this point I’m like the street life ain’t for me and I’m working a job, I got a girlfriend and I’m staying low and just cooling it, with these pounds of weed that was so garbage, I was giving it away like charity donations. I had that goodwill pack! Just as things settle down that’s when Swervy comes back in contact with me. You see last time I had linked him, this man was overdosing off fent and we had to drive him to the hospital and save his life. But to my surprise, he was a changed man, or at least that’s what I thought...
He now has this girlfriend and he lives with her in germantown. You see me I’m baffled and curious, what crazy bitch would date this crazy motherfucker who’d probably sell his soul for one shot of heroin? I just had to find out. And when I met Amy I just didn’t know what to say. She was in her 30s and Swervy and me were in our early twenties. Amy was this slim, blonde hair, blue eyed Czechoslovakian chick who stood at about 5’7”. She wasn’t attractive by no means, you can tell the drugs did it’s toll on her, but if you’re drunk enough she can probably look fuckable. She had her degree in psychology from UMBC, but don’t be fooled her brain seemed like it was long fried. A conversation with her felt like a trip to the mental asylum. You will have better luck deciphering ancient Egyptian hyrogriphics before you can make sense of a word she says. Regardless I genuinely tried to get to know her. My guess was at some point in life she must’ve took a full sheet of acid and never recovered since. But she had her own two bedroom condo with a view of Sugarloaf mountain, a Pomeranian dog(which Swervy fucking hated), and a new jeep. So regardless I was impressed this crackhead motherfucker managed to bag her. So I asked him “Where did you find this shawty?” “At a hookah lounge in Rockville” he told me. That’s right folks, a fucking hookah lounge. Boi when I tell you after that, I was hitting up hookah spots like I had season tickets!
So I’m hanging out with them a lot now basically third wheeling, but Germantown was a long ass motherfucking drive, and I lived at the borderline to DC so I would even spend some nights in their guest bedroom. This Amy chick had parents that paid for her gas money and food, they had a fireplace and a balcony. And I can enjoy the comfort of all this as long as I occasionally bring some weed to smoke. And me I’m not one of those leeching ass bums, so the only time I’m hanging out with them is when I’m invited. And I got invited a lot, probably because Amy’s a bit cuukoo and Swervy had either robbed or scared off all his friends from Bathesda. He wanted someone to give him a break from her, a bro he can drink a beer with. So I would often times accompany them. One time we were at Buffalo Wild Wings, and as I sit across from both of them Amy begins playing footsies with me under the table. Of course I play it cool. I had no interest in her, mainly because Swervy hits raw and takes hepatitis medication, also having witnessed this man hold a bunch of homeless niggas at gunpoint in broad day light after I lost my phone at this gas station in Arizona. I can only imagine how he would react if he found out I smashed his girl.
A lot of the times I hung out with them, me and Swervy would talk about Amy. You see he’s not the type to hold back certain information, and as he’s telling me about his life and relationship that’s when it hit me. A nigga like me grew up all my life, with the world constantly kicking my ass and in a whole different realm of this life shit, you got these two rich kids who fucked up their life so much with so little consequences it became a culture shock to me. Me I caught a case and felt like my life was over, these two white people are disfunctional jobless drug addicts and they’re living the life I could only dream of having with years of hard work. I began to question the world, how many are there like this? Was my life a joke? I didn’t know where I was going hanging out with them, but if I couldn’t live the good life, I could at least witness it from the front row. I learned one thing about their relationship, Amy was basically getting old and low on options, and her parents supported her. Why? Because she’s not running around getting dicked down by a bunch of drug dealing black men anymore. Here they see this young white man, who’s also Eastern European who makes their highly mentally damaged daughter feel secure. And Swervy could win an Oscar, I mean what a fucking performance! One second he goes from Angus Cloud on Euphoria, the next a good suburban white kid the second he meets her parents. In fact he had convinced them that he was such a good man, even went to family gatherings and all, that they decided, let’s just buy them a full blown house.
That’s right, a FULL FUCKING HOUSE. I’m talking about a three story townhouse in Germantown, with a fully furnished basement, a patio, a balcony, a grill, 4 bedrooms, a 70 inch television, a paid off brand new fully insured jeep, they’re talking about trips to Italy. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Fool, are we living in a simulation? I couldn’t fucking believe my eyes, Swervy had pulled off the ultimate finesse. He convinced this rich family that he was the one for their daughter. And the most hilarious thing about it is that he was no better than a crackhead heroin junkie you can find panhandling for money on the street. I couldn’t even be envious, no instead I had felt something inside of me, this sort of toxic motivation. I learned that you didn’t have to work hard in this life, you didn’t have to earn your living, no instead one day God can just drop this lonely damaged woman who’s family is fucking loaded right on your fucking lap. He was even talking about marrying her and having her kids. In fact he tried, but see he had a problem. His sailors couldn’t fucking swim. Maybe it was all the crack, cocaine and heroine. He was having trouble producing fertile sperm, and Amy was running out of time! And that was the peak of their relationship. He was this close to closing the deal, but when it was game time he fell short. All it is now is one of those memories in your head that’ll have you like “damn, what if…” almost like when you reminisce on a football game thinking about how things could’ve been different if that one play went right.
Look I’ll be honest, I sugarcoated a lot of things. They may have lived in a world of handouts, but that relationship was more toxic than a nuclear wasteland. There’s a lot of fucked up details that I’m choosing to leave out, the psychical and mental abuse from both sides, the drug use. He was a psychopath and she was controlling and halfway demented. There’s a saying “opposites attract” and these two motherfuckers were far from it. They were two trains headed on a full on collision, so it was only a matter of time before disaster struck, and boy did it strike. Within a year I had witnessed a once fun relationship, become episodes of Shameless. At one point we fell off, I don’t remember exactly why, probably because I was tired of constantly being involved in their nasty games, and once again I distanced myself from Swervy.
The last I heard of Amy, she had kicked Swervy out the house and he caught her giving the sloppy toppy at a local park to 3 guys. Some hoodlum niggas, and a skater dude with a face tatt. The last time I seen Swervy he was arms dealing and one day pulled out an AR-15 on me and threatened to shoot me. I heard he’s now locked up currently awaiting trial because he broke into her home. I have a feeling one day I’ll see him on the news with a crazy headline.
Anyways if you’re a real mothafucka, you made it all the way here. If you read the whole thing I hope you enjoyed the story, if you have any questions ask away. If you didn’t feel like reading all that shit then fuck you bitch!

You ever met a rich crackhead bitch who’s parents bought her and her heroin addicted boyfriend a whole house, a new car, monthly allowance and seen it all come crashing down? This sounds like a fantasy, but it’s actually reality in the streets of Montgomery County, . This is the life of a rich crackhead named Amy.
Now I know a lot of you niggas don’t be wanting to read long ass shit, so imma warn you ahead of time, I’ll be putting a lot of effort in this post. So if you’re an illiterate ass nigga, u might as well leave now. Before I tell you about Amy, we gotta get the background first and go all the way back to 2021(if you want to skip and get right to Amy, just go to paragraph 11/12, but you’ll miss out on a lot). It’s the year 2021, I had just came back a couple months ago from pulling off EDD fraud. One day I was driving drop top mustangs in Malibu, the next I’m seeing my accounts get frozen and my money slowly begin to dwindle down. Before I knew it I was back in the dmv, broke and back to square one. Now from the time I was in Cali to the time I returned a lot of shit happened. I fell off with a lot of people, so I found myself hanging around an unusual crowd of people, the Bethesda kids.
You see before I dropped out of Towson University, I had met this nigga named LP, he was from Bowie and he went to school out Bethesda, but me and him got along because we had two things in common: we both liked DMV music, and we both liked to party our asses tf off. But that’s a story for another day.
You see LP put me on to a lot of people from Bathesda, I had never really hung around white folks before, and with the connections he gave me i made friends with a couple of crackas and even met my now deceased ex girlfriend. I was going to the craziest white functions and constantly turning up. But I saw more than a chance to have fun, saw this as a money making opportunity🤑 cha ching! And it was through LP that I met some friends who introduced me to a nigga named Swervy.
You see them white folks love to drink beer and smoke weed at parks, so one day I’m meeting up wit one of my good men, Ju. Ju is the typical school shooter typa fella, so it’s no surprise what I saw when I linked up with him at the spot. With him was this long haired European foreign exchange motherfucker whose name I forgot, and this bearded Eastern European nigga named Swervy, and he was wildin the fuck out. Mind you I’m from the projects, and all these bathesda niggas I’m meeting are rich ass motherfuckers who live in multi million dollar mansions. Keep in mind these cats may be rich, but everybody out bathesda is rich so these are basically the rejects. Pretty much the closest thing to a street nigga you can find out there.
As I’m getting introduced to some of these cats, Swervy pulls out a syringe. So I ask “Man wtf is this man doing,” “He’s shooting up fent” casually says Ju. That was the first time I ever witnessed someone shooting up a drug, and it wouldn’t be the last. Swervy would eventually become Amy’s boyfriend. And he was quite the yapper, he’s one of those motherfuckers who peaked in high school, and now he’s just watching his life come spiraling down, at least that is until he meets Amy…
In this meet up I learn a lot about Swervy. He was basically a kingpin at the age of 16-17. He would get shipments of 10’s of thousands of Xanax bars and sell them like hotdogs at a baseball game. These weren’t your regular junkies, these are the children of senators, buisness owners and lawyers. So you didn’t have to worry about a junkie saying he’ll pay you back, money was nothing to these crazy ass white folks. In the midst of all this yapping, I hear something that caught my attention.
“Yea so basically my cousins got like seven pounds of weed and 500gs of thc wax that they’ll give me if I can pick it up, it’s all the way in Arizona” Says Swervy.
🤑🤑🤑Cha mothafucking ching! This was the money I was talking about. Now driving cross country with pounds of weed and concentrate was risky, but shit I’d give my left nutsack for that kind of opportunity. And I might as well have, because a week later I was on my way to Tucson, with this Russian speaking drug addict I had just met the other day. Mind you I’m driving around in a red Lancer, with paper Vermont tags that I had printed online. I might as well Have went up to the police station and asked any of them if they wanted to buy drugs. My young naive dumbass didn’t realize the risk, all I was thinking about was 🤑🤑🤑 cha Ching!
I can sit here all day and tell you about that drive to Arizona, but imma keep it short and simple so we can get to this Amy chick. It was a fucking disaster, but we end up somehow making it back. We got the pounds and the concentrate, but it was all fucking shake! I’d be lucky to sell that shit for $100 a zip. Anyways, the trip opened my eyes to something, this nigga Swervy was a crashout crackhead dummy, and if I continue hanging out with him I was gonna end up dead or in jail. So I begin distancing myself, as I watched this man throw his life away from a far.
Now months go by, and at this point I’m like the street life ain’t for me and I’m working a job, I got a girlfriend and I’m staying low and just cooling it, with these pounds of weed that was so garbage, I was giving it away like charity donations. I had that goodwill pack! Just as things settle down that’s when Swervy comes back in contact with me. You see last time I had linked him, this man was overdosing off fent and we had to drive him to the hospital and save his life. But to my surprise, he was a changed man, or at least that’s what I thought...
He now has this girlfriend and he lives with her in germantown. You see me I’m baffled and curious, what crazy bitch would date this crazy motherfucker who’d probably sell his soul for one shot of heroin? I just had to find out. And when I met Amy I just didn’t know what to say. She was in her 30s and Swervy and me were in our early twenties. Amy was this slim, blonde hair, blue eyed Czechoslovakian chick who stood at about 5’7”. She wasn’t attractive by no means, you can tell the drugs did it’s toll on her, but if you’re drunk enough she can probably look fuckable. She had her degree in psychology from UMBC, but don’t be fooled her brain seemed like it was long fried. A conversation with her felt like a trip to the mental asylum. You will have better luck deciphering ancient Egyptian hyrogriphics before you can make sense of a word she says. Regardless I genuinely tried to get to know her. My guess was at some point in life she must’ve took a full sheet of acid and never recovered since. But she had her own two bedroom condo with a view of Sugarloaf mountain, a Pomeranian dog(which Swervy fucking hated), and a new jeep. So regardless I was impressed this crackhead motherfucker managed to bag her. So I asked him “Where did you find this shawty?” “At a hookah lounge in Rockville” he told me. That’s right folks, a fucking hookah lounge. Boi when I tell you after that, I was hitting up hookah spots like I had season tickets!
So I’m hanging out with them a lot now basically third wheeling, but Germantown was a long ass motherfucking drive, and I lived at the borderline to DC so I would even spend some nights in their guest bedroom. This Amy chick had parents that paid for her gas money and food, they had a fireplace and a balcony. And I can enjoy the comfort of all this as long as I occasionally bring some weed to smoke. And me I’m not one of those leeching ass bums, so the only time I’m hanging out with them is when I’m invited. And I got invited a lot, probably because Amy’s a bit cuukoo and Swervy had either robbed or scared off all his friends from Bathesda. He wanted someone to give him a break from her, a bro he can drink a beer with. So I would often times accompany them. One time we were at Buffalo Wild Wings, and as I sit across from both of them Amy begins playing footsies with me under the table. Of course I play it cool. I had no interest in her, mainly because Swervy hits raw and takes hepatitis medication, also having witnessed this man hold a bunch of homeless niggas at gunpoint in broad day light after I lost my phone at this gas station in Arizona. I can only imagine how he would react if he found out I smashed his girl.
A lot of the times I hung out with them, me and Swervy would talk about Amy. You see he’s not the type to hold back certain information, and as he’s telling me about his life and relationship that’s when it hit me. A nigga like me grew up all my life, with the world constantly kicking my ass and in a whole different realm of this life shit, you got these two rich kids who fucked up their life so much with so little consequences it became a culture shock to me. Me I caught a case and felt like my life was over, these two white people are disfunctional jobless drug addicts and they’re living the life I could only dream of having with years of hard work. I began to question the world, how many are there like this? Was my life a joke? I didn’t know where I was going hanging out with them, but if I couldn’t live the good life, I could at least witness it from the front row. I learned one thing about their relationship, Amy was basically getting old and low on options, and her parents supported her. Why? Because she’s not running around getting dicked down by a bunch of drug dealing black men anymore. Here they see this young white man, who’s also Eastern European who makes their highly mentally damaged daughter feel secure. And Swervy could win an Oscar, I mean what a fucking performance! One second he goes from Angus Cloud on Euphoria, the next a good suburban white kid the second he meets her parents. In fact he had convinced them that he was such a good man, even went to family gatherings and all, that they decided, let’s just buy them a full blown house.
That’s right, a FULL FUCKING HOUSE. I’m talking about a three story townhouse in Germantown, with a fully furnished basement, a patio, a balcony, a grill, 4 bedrooms, a 70 inch television, a paid off brand new fully insured jeep, they’re talking about trips to Italy. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Fool, are we living in a simulation? I couldn’t fucking believe my eyes, Swervy had pulled off the ultimate finesse. He convinced this rich family that he was the one for their daughter. And the most hilarious thing about it is that he was no better than a crackhead heroin junkie you can find panhandling for money on the street. I couldn’t even be envious, no instead I had felt something inside of me, this sort of toxic motivation. I learned that you didn’t have to work hard in this life, you didn’t have to earn your living, no instead one day God can just drop this lonely damaged woman who’s family is fucking loaded right on your fucking lap. He was even talking about marrying her and having her kids. In fact he tried, but see he had a problem. His sailors couldn’t fucking swim. Maybe it was all the crack, cocaine and heroine. He was having trouble producing fertile sperm, and Amy was running out of time! And that was the peak of their relationship. He was this close to closing the deal, but when it was game time he fell short. All it is now is one of those memories in your head that’ll have you like “damn, what if…” almost like when you reminisce on a football game thinking about how things could’ve been different if that one play went right.
Look I’ll be honest, I sugarcoated a lot of things. They may have lived in a world of handouts, but that relationship was more toxic than a nuclear wasteland. There’s a lot of fucked up details that I’m choosing to leave out, the psychical and mental abuse from both sides, the drug use. He was a psychopath and she was controlling and halfway demented. There’s a saying “opposites attract” and these two motherfuckers were far from it. They were two trains headed on a full on collision, so it was only a matter of time before disaster struck, and boy did it strike. Within a year I had witnessed a once fun relationship, become episodes of Shameless. At one point we fell off, I don’t remember exactly why, probably because I was tired of constantly being involved in their nasty games, and once again I distanced myself from Swervy.
The last I heard of Amy, she had kicked Swervy out the house and he caught her giving the sloppy toppy at a local park to 3 guys. Some hoodlum niggas, and a skater dude with a face tatt. The last time I seen Swervy he was arms dealing and one day pulled out an AR-15 on me and threatened to shoot me. I heard he’s now locked up currently awaiting trial because he broke into her home. I have a feeling one day I’ll see him on the news with a crazy headline.
Anyways if you’re a real mothafucka, you made it all the way here. If you read the whole thing I hope you enjoyed the story, if you have any questions ask away. If you didn’t feel like reading all that shit then fuck you bitch!
Edit: 😂apparently it’s a small world an a few of y’all know the people I’m talking about and updated me on swervys situation. He’s now out on bail awaiting trial.

Does anyone here or does any website or YouTube channel have a good compilation list of what one should do when inspecting a Canik before purchase at a gun store?
I have been reading about the various issues on the MC9, the over-insertion issue with the Rival-S, and the issues with the new TTI Combat. I think this group could use a sticky post listing what one should do while inspecting these firearms before purchase. I skimmed the FAQ but that was locked 2 years ago and does not cover issues and inspection. I know some issues are resolved easily and some require new parts.
In my case I am tempted to buy a MC9 while Rural King has it on sale in their local stores for $370.
Thus far I recall needing to check for the following:

1. do the mags drop freely. I know there are easy fixes for this I can do so not a showstopper.
2. some barrels appear to have improperly machined ramps. I have seen comparison photos here so I know what to watch out for. This would be showstopper for me as I don't want to deal with Canik warranty support if I don't have to. I would rather look for another MC9 at the same store or go to another store. I have dealt with Canik support on a rear sight issue on my Rival already. I gave up and found my own fix.
3. Not returning to battery. I cannot fire it before purchase. Does with also happen if one just uses dummy training rounds in the magazine possibly allowing testing at a gun store with permission?
4. Look for broken recoil spring but that typically happens after purchase and not an issue I would expect after test firing at the factory where it would not be caught and fixed before shipping.
5. How can we tell if the firearm has a more recent manufacturing date? Is anything on the box or can we tell from the serial number? I see replies with manufacturing dates so I assume Canik now puts that somewhere on the box. I don't recall seeing that on my Rival from 2 years ago but will look for the box.
6. Failure of the slide to lock back when firing. I don't know one would inspect for that in a store. I did watch one video mentioning some found they needed to remove flashing on the lower so maybe that or too heavy of a recoil spring could be the cause.

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800 u/BakeGullible9975 u/Didnotseemecomein and u/medium_jock
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Well now would be a great time to fuck off…
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
It had been sleeping, it had been sleeping for a very long time.
No one could have known the eons that passed away quietly while it rested in the darkness, cradled by the universe which had spawned it.
It was deep within the quiet and the darkness where the cloud cocooned it and protected it from the outside universe.
Not that it much needed protection.
It would know if something was coming, the darkness it had built around itself was thick, and any disturbance would alert it as it could feel the ripples and disturbance of the cloud.
[…]
Lying motionlessly in the darkness, the ancient starborn lay quietly in the darkness. It had been here many eons, playing dead and not daring to move a muscle. It could see nothing, but based on the mind of its friends, now long gone, it knew that it could not move without alerting the creature to its presence, and subsequently becoming prey.
It did not know where its companions were, floating off in the darkness with their bodies cracked and their juices sucked from their insides. They imagined that anything bumping against their arm or leg might be the corpses of one of their fallen, but still they lay still, never dreaming to look up, just knowing that even the slightest move would cause chaos.
Besides, the solar energy in its ribbons had died away millennia ago, and there was no way it would be able to move fast enough to retreat from the thing sleeping in the darkness. So, there was only to wait, for thousands of years before and thousands of years after as new stars were born and died, and the entropy of the universe brought it closer and closer to collapsing.
In the cold madness of their mind, they imagined the universe collapsing in on itself, as it would be inevitable and found itself wishing for that feeling, the madness tugging at the string in their thoughts.
The darkness around them was so silent and oppressive.
The only sound came from the thoughts of the great creature that lay in the darkness, and they dared not push too far as the creature might notice their presence as well. The only thing to do was lay quietly and let their mind die away into nothingness as the eons turned into eternity, without even a glimpse of infinity left.
[…]
Adam sat in the pilot's chair as he watched, controlling the strange craft as he had been directed by one of the Mikes. He had offered to take his ship in, but they had insisted he take one of theirs. This small ship was capable of micro warping, and so could be taken into the abyss without him gambling on his entire ship and everyone inside. He didn't bring very many people with him, only a scientist or two who had interest in studying the blackness more closely. He didn't need warriors. If there was going to be combat, it would take place outside the ship.
He pressed his hand against the glowing dome on the console before him and slowly accelerated forward. The controls of this strange ship were pretty dummy proof and relatively easy to handle. He would have bet any layman could have flown one in space to some degree of success, though, at an offer to being able to fly an alien ship, it wasn't like he was going to let anyone else take his place.
"Anything?"
He radioed back to the ship.
"Nothing you signal is still clear, begin the first microwarp progression in ten."
He reached forward flipping the switch that would prepare the ship for a microwarp, and then turned the dial to bright green to indicate that it was going to be a microwarp burst. The Mikes said that the micro warps weren't exactly the most pleasant thing ever, but it probably shouldn't bother a human all that much.
He was sort of flattered by their faith in humans, but still braced himself as the countdown began.
There was a sudden jolt as the end of the countdown came, and his stomach crawled down into his pelvis and his heart jumped up into his throat. The world turned itself upside down three or four times in quick succession, hardly allowing him to get his bearings until finally they jerked to a stop.
His body swayed slightly as he rocked forward in his seat. Behind him he heard the scientists groan softly. He shook himself surprised to find that apparently the mikes could handle undamped warp. He guessed that those little guys were a bit more resilient than he thought they were.
He reached out to key the comms array,
"Omen, this is Dragonfly, do you copy?”
He had to wait for a few seconds before they came in,
"Dragonfly this is Omen, we are still reading you but... The signal is extremely weak, I don't know but it seems like you are further away than you should be. We are getting back very little signal from you. If it weren't for the microwarp signal, I doubt we would catch your signal."
That seemed strange to him, they weren't father out from the Omen than earth was from mars, which in the astronomical view of things wasn't very far at all, Mars was practically in Earth's backyard even when they were on opposite sides of the sun.
"Alright, copy that, we are going to go ahead and do some tests here and then warp back."
He turned around in his seat to make sure the scientists were already to their work, and of course they were, taking readings and making measurements.
Adam let them do what they needed to do, offering to help if they needed an extra hand, but knowing they probably wouldn't need it.
He walked over to the window and looked out into the darkness. He was staring back towards the ship, but frowned. Something seemed rather strange.
He leaned forward a little and squinted.
It seemed... Darker than it should have been.
Yeah, sure space was plenty dark in comparison to direct sunlight on earth, but there was always some light filtering in from somewhere. And if this palace really was just a giant black pit of nothingness devoid of stars, then he should still be able to see the stars behind them with relative ease.
"Have you guys tried just... Looking outside."
The scientists lifted their heads from their instruments and stopped puzzled at what they saw.
"Can you take measurements about the amount of light that is coming through to us."
They nodded,
"yes sir, it wouldn't be that hard at all.”
"And knowing how bright those stars are normally, can you make a base comparison to see if they are dimmer or brighter than they should be at this distance?”
There was a generally consensus that was something they could do, and so he left them to their work staring out the window nervously tapping his foot against the ground. He would have liked to help them, but at the end of the day he was a pilot and a soldier, not a scientist, and the most he would ever have been able to help with was orbital calculations.
[…]
It drifted in the darkness and before its dreamscape thoughts it saw colorful visions of the darkness before it. It saw an expanse of blackness and then pure white and then rushing stars all around it. Colorful nebulae swam in its vision lighting it with warm cosmic rays of the universe, which warmed it from one infinite end to the other.
It slept as the years in the thousands and millions passed away.
It remembered light and darkness and, to its annoyance, that was encroached in on by images…
Images of creatures bright white and blue snaking through the darkness with little effort.
Seeing that thing made it churn in its sleep.
What a nuisance these creatures and its master have been, for millions of eons… what an annoyance, too powerful for their own good and annoyingly meddlesome.
His weak pathetic brother and that beautiful creature that curled around his undeserving neck.
More churning, more agitation.
Its great vast body swirled the mist around it in a great billowing cloud as it knocked against small things in the darkness, small things, tiny things...
Dead things.
Sure, it has gotten a little bit of revenge against him, but that was hardly enough to satisfy it, but it had been given an ultimatum, either sleep for a million years or be destroyed, and so it slept on angrily, waking up every few thousand millennia out of spite for the great power that had forced it here.
[…]
Adam brought them back to the Omen with another microwarp.
This time he was more prepared and shook off the dizziness a little easier as he came into place.
"Admiral... Admiral are you there?"
The voice seemed nervous, which made him rather nervous as he keyed the mic,
"Yeah this is Adam, what's wrong?”
"Sir, we have lost your signal, we can't seem to find you."
He frowned,
"Look out the window, I am right here."
He heard scrambling on the other end of the line and then…
”No sir, I... we can't see you, and the radar isn't picking up anything."
With a frown Adam turned to his windscreen and then paused.
It was almost completely black outside, which didn't seem right. He had warped right to the coordinates he had been given.
He leaned over his radar equipment examining the blinking lights like the Mikes had instructed, and on the radar, he could see the Omen bright and proud right next to them, but for the life of him, he couldn't see.
That was... Mildly uncomfortable.
"Open up the landing port on deck D, I am going to land, make sure there is a decontamination field ready."
An affirmative response came over the line, and he slowly coaxed the ship forward, using only the radar to maneuver. The scientists behind him sat nervously, their teeth gritted as he flew blind, but they shouldn't have worried, if anyone was going to pull off such a stunt, it was going to be Adam.
They landed without cause for worry, and the airlock doors closed behind them. He couldn't see the red blinking light, but he could feel the slight thud as the doors closed and the pressure equalized. It was then he knew for sure something was off. He still couldn't see anything.
He pulled on his helmet and instructed the others to do the same before opening the hatch. The group of them stepped outside onto the deck, just as another few teams in hazmat gear were spilling onto the deck. When they did, Adam watched as both mikes and Humans alike stopped in shock, staring back at the small shuttle.
Adam turned and his eyes went wide.
He took a step back and then another, until he was standing halfway in between the two groups staring at the shuttle. It was....
A void?
At least that's how it looked. The outside was coated in a layer of blackness so profound that no light reflected from it. There were no curves or contours, making it appear as a flat 2D object in a 3D space.
He blinked two or three times not sure what he was seeing.
He circled the ship from one side to the other, and on all sides the story was the same. It was so black, that it completely absorbed any and all light.
A few of the scientists moved forward muttering, while the others looked over the data that had been collected.
The leader of the Mikes floated up,
"I believe this is why we could not hear your signal."
He motioned to the ship,
"IAs radio and other frequencies are simply forms of light, if... Whatever this substance was blocking your way, it would have been difficult if not impossible to send any sort of light array through that cloud.”
"So that is what we think it is then? Some sort of cloud?”
There was a nod from the Mike, or at least a sudden flashing of lights which Adam determined was similar to a nod.
One of the Mikes returned, having scraped a sample off the side of the ship and put it into a small vile.
"See here, it seems as if this substance is some sort of densely packed dust cloud with very ultrafine particles."
It jiggled the dust around in the vile and almost immediately the entire inside of the vile was covered in it.
Adam turned to look at his ship,
"But... in that case…"
He frowned,
"This all doesn't make sense because..."
He paused,
"Nebulae are clouds of dust, but the dust itself is almost impossible to notice while you are INSIDE the nebulae. Nothing coalesces that close together without forming a star of some kind. There is no way that this dust is packed together thick enough to cover the entire shuttle, without accumulating into some sort of mass over the millennia."
The Mikes looked as if they agreed with him but one of them was lost mostly in thought.
"It wouldn't if something was periodically disturbing the dust?"
"If it was, then based on the laws of motion, the dust would have dissipated by now and would not have just stayed in the same area."
"Perhaps there is some sort of gravitational field that keeps it pulled into place?"
Adam shook his head,
"Again we ask the question that, if there is some sort of gravitational field than why hasn't all the dust accumulated in it yet?”
He held up his hands,
"I am not trying to argue with your logic, all I am saying is that cloud is not behaving in a logical manner, so I have a very hard time believing this is some sort of natural phenomena."
There was a pause as the scientists looked between each other.
"So you are under the impression that this is some sort of... Phenomena drive from... Organic means? As in it is artificial and created by aliens?"
"What other explanation is there?"
[…]
They were almost crushed to death as the creature moved. Its infinite mass knocking against them and sending them wildly out through the mist. It cried out in pain inside its mind as dark particles flew past it, pepering its skin and became ingrained into its body as it had done for millions upon millions of eons. The force was so great that it was shot out from the cloud at unbelievable speeds though the movement of the particles past its body slowly slowed them until they were simply adrift.
They opened their eyes for the first time in a millennia and what they saw... What they saw almost broke them. Distant light from a thousand tiny pinpricks rolled in the universe above them. The light from stars looking so warm and distant that they could have died of happiness at that moment.
They opened their ribbons, expecting the subtle charge of sunlight, but felt nothing.
They paused in confusion and then looked down at themselves.
They could see nothing.
In horror the realization struck, and they clawed at their skin trying to rip off the black dust from what had once been porcelain white, but nothing they did work, a thousand years had allowed the grains to infiltrate their body and dye their skin with impenetrable blackness. They moaned softly in despair knowing that they would never move again. Without the sun they could not move, without the stars they would die.
But perhaps it was better to die where they could see the light rather than somewhere they could see the darkness.
They had almost given in to this reality when they lifted their head and saw other things floating past them.
It was hard to make them out as they too were stained with the strange dark substance, and so they only saw them as dark smudges against a backdrop of stars, but soon they saw enough, enough to see thousands upon thousands of lifeless stained corpses floating out from the cloud, their ribbons dangling limp behind them.
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Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

Hey everyone- 30m here
Had my first episode of aFib back in February and have had about 5 since. Typically about 2-3 weeks apart, and almost always on a weekend night right as I’m laying down for bed. Sometimes more common if I lay on my left side.
The episodes last about 2-3 hours. Usually I am able to fall asleep during them after I convince myself that I’m not going to die. (The feeling of doom is quite unique during these things)
My Apple Watch typically tells me that I’m in aFib but I can definitely feel it as well - and heart rate is usually between 90-120 during it. If I do fall asleep, the next morning my watch will state that my heart rate was escalated while sleeping, which is how I know the duration of the episodes.
I went to a cardiologist and they did an EKG and an echo, and blood labs. All came back normal.
I’m about to go again, hoping they can give me some more tests to see what’s causing this, but curious on if my experience is somewhat common, or if the fact that it only happens once every few weeks is rare?
I think my triggers are likely diet related, but to be honest reading this subreddit has me a bit freaked out with all the talk of surgery, etc.
Just looking for some advice I suppose.

I started working for Food for Less (kroger subsidiary) 4 months out of high school in 2005. I was 18, and had really no clue what I wanted to do in life. My dad made me get a job and go to school and I was used to people telling me what to do to provide structure in my day to day life. So i get hired and because I'm so young and clueless I'm thinking that this is what my life will be. I'll go to work, make a little money, make a few friends, and then go home. For the first 6-7 years that's what I did. Life was pretty good. Living in SoCal, living with my parents, no real bills to take care of, a bit of money in my pocket ect ect. Then one day I woke up and I just didn't like working there anymore. I was 25, still living at home, had a crappy car, things were getting more expensive but we weren't getting paid more, I had been working as a closing manager but never officially promoted. The person that held that title was lazy and kissed all the right asses. So I think well there's more jobs out there right? I began my search and nobody wanted to hire a 25 year old college dropout with only grocery store experience. I FELT STUCK. I didn't have a clue on how I was going to keep doing this day in and day out knowing I hate it. My demeanor changed with customers and coworkers. I really needed to leave this place. But again I FELT STUCK. Fast forward 4 more years. Im working out with a few friends at the gym and they noticed that I just was not into the group session and we stopped and they asked me what's going on? I had never opened up to anyone to this point about my struggles with food for less and how it's been affecting me. But once I did my one friend gave me one of those smacks on the back of head (not to hurt me or anything like that) and he said "Dummy you could've been come and work where I work" That sentence hit me like a ton of bricks. I asked him where he worked and what does he do? He told me about him working in tech support and all it entails. Knowing him i know he's not the smartest man in the world but he had a great paying job in tech. He helps me apply, the interview goes great and within 15 days 11 1/2 years of working at food for less comes to an end. Within 6 months of working with the new job I already started making more money than i ever made at food for less. I say all of that long story to say this. Please do not ever feel as though Krogee has you in a bind and you must stay there to keep living. There's a big huge world out that needs you and your skills to help us all. If you read this I sincerely thank you for taking the time. Feel free to PM me if you need help getting out!

N.W.O= New Babylon
First off I'm not trying to sound like I know everything. The more I learn, the more I realize I know truly nothing. I know a lot more than I once did and I know we are running out of time... all of you deserve to know as much information as you can. It's our Birthright to know.
To understand everything that I'm going to say you have to understand that these people in power are not like you and I. These people are totally psychotic and insane. You hear about the rituals and things they do, but it may not truly make sense. I think I'm here to help with that; to help you understand their beliefs and their goals for the “New Age”.
This is my attempt at a brief guide to the coming “New World Order and New World One-Religion” spearheaded by a messiah to unite all religions into one.
Many books have been written about this, and this has been the plan of the Elites for some time now. Our only hope is waking up the population to the global conspiracy that is coming to fruition around us.

THE NEW WORLD ORDER

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Most of this is already known but we must understand the basics of the world’s structure. Every industry, be it entertainment, food, the media, healthcare, foreign policy, the military, etc can be traced back to Mega-hedge funds like BlackRock, Vanguard, Safe Street, JP Morgan, etc. Everyone from Pfizer and Moderna to Lockheed Martin and Raytheon are under the bankroll by the same people. The C/IA, M/OSSAD, MI6… all the same people.
These hedge funds, who have a monopoly on all corporations, and control every industry, can be traced to the same families and secret societies.
That means the same people and the same families own everyone and have been behind every single world conflict. Their favorite tactic is to cause the worst problem and then offer the solution to it which the citizens wouldn't have taken otherwise. Everything in modern times can be traced back to the true puppet masters, the secret societies. The Freem@sons, the Illumin@ti, the Sku1l and Bones, Jesu1ts, etc, are all a part of the "Inv1sible College."
The Bank of the UN is literally the Lucis Trust. Which started as Lucifer's Trust.
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Any end justifies the means. It doesn't matter that they have been the ones creating and funding both sides of every war, stealing the money from the lower class, enslaving them through dogmatic religions and economic slavery Etc, etc.
The goal of the Invisible Col1ege, and its multiple heads like the World Bank, W.E.F, W.H.O, UN, etc. are actively working to destroy the world, and the old world order, to ensure the creation of their new world and the new world order. A society built around their perception and their vision, and only theirs. A New Babylon… A New Age. A world United under one religion and one government, so that the only man who may inhabit this new age is the illuminated man. May I add, illuminated to their beliefs…
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On the highest level, you can see why they hate Christianity, and if you look deep enough Islam and Judaism as well.
I'll explain more of that later.
What's happening today has been planned. World War I and World War II pitted Muslim and Christian nations against each other in major mass murder rituals. Both times they completely changed the societal order of the world.
The Freem@sons helped build up Germany. Hitler became powerful and after he imprisoned the Jews, he turned around to imprison the Freem@sons (who had given him power)
This is the secret that some people in the public have not woken up to. Churchill, Stalin, and FDR were all Freem@sons. Before Hitler imprisoned and shut down the Freem@son lodges, and became a dark occultist himself, he was helped and financed by the same banking cartel and secret societies. World War 3 is just the same.
Many people in the West have already come out to say that we are in the middle of World War 3. We just haven't been told yet. You can see this with the fronts escalating in the Middle East, Eastern Europe, and with China.
In the US it is Insane how much our government is warning us that China can bring our grid down whenever they want to. The news of bird flu and other pandemics are both tactics of fear that these societies used to coerce the people to give up their rights and accept their solutions.
And what are their solutions? They believe that human beings and us, "the profane", are so inept and unable to think for ourselves... that we must be led and controlled.
They have no self-awareness and understanding that they have caused the majority of issues that have ruined many people's lives and caused world strife; yet they look at these people as disposable and ignorant. They have single-handedly destroyed countries and communities yet believe that they have To save us from ourselves.
Cyber attacks and other methods are a way that they can Implement their CBDC, A digital currency, which like the former CEO of BlackRock said, would literally make the planet into an actual prison planet.
One doesn't have to be indoctrinated in a goofy club like Freem@sonry to watch the Davos conferences and hear of their master plans. Putting a chip in your mind or hand to measure your biometrics, vibrational thought wave control, and ultimately controlling every aspect of your life with the guise of fighting climate control. What I'm getting to, is the one world religion, which as I'll break it down, is utterly preposterous.
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The One World Religion and the New God: The Morning-Star

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The one world religion and the new God will just be a recycling of the Babylon mystery religion. These people hate Christianity because they view it as the ultimate perversion of their own religion. They think that man evolved over time until being illuminated by their god, Lucifer, or knowledge and reason, the light given by the hidden God, represented by the sun. Depicted as Osiris, Ra, etc.
This is the part where we all need to stay together. This is when one needs to have an open mind and look at a nuanced situation. Don't take my word as well, look this up yourself so you may know the truth for yourself.
They believe that Lucifer, or the light, the sun, and knowledge, used Satan as an agent to illuminate man in the Garden of Eden story. They believe that Yahweh was a cruel and unjust God keeping man at a lower level and imprisoned in the Garden of Eden.
They see Christianity which worships Yahweh as God and puts 'satan' down to be a lie and perversion.
In my research, using many different cultures and the Sumerian ancient cuneiform tablets, this seems to be a correct translation of the story. it's just hilarious that they would get it so wrong.
They have created the lie that they worship the god Lucifer so they may lie to you and tell you that they do not. This is because they do not believe that a Creator God created us but that we were enlightened and illuminated by the ultimate light bearer or morning star, the Sun. The sun is not their God but it is the symbol of their god, illumination.
This is where I personally believe their beliefs are flat-out wrong, and I think it's hilarious that they believe themselves to be the smartest and wisest men to ever grace the earth when I view them as narcissistic, supremely arrogant, psychotic, and borderline stupid.
In Freem@sonry, you have to slowly work your way up to the 33rd degree learning and being taught many lies before you're taught that Lucifer is the god to be worshiped. what goofy ass people.
I'll try to explain where they go wrong so we may all know the true history.
Yahweh seems to be an ancient storm deity adopted by the Israelites during the Iron Age. The storm traces back to the “God Of the Storm/God of The Air” or Enlil who in the ancient Sumerian story very well represents the qualities of satan.
So yes in many parts of the Bible, Yahweh is Enlil, who is really Satan. This is why Yahshua never worships Yahweh and says everyone who came before himself was thieves and robbers. "
In many parts of Deuteronomy and other parts of the Bible Enlil or Yahweh orders and pits people against each other in battle, validates sexual assault, is a jealous god, orders human sacrifice and yearns for the material gain of beef, lamb, gold, and virgins; as well as a multitude of things that an all-knowing and loving God would have no reason to indulge in. One can thank the Catholic Roman Church which combined all of the ancient deities into a monotheistic religion worshiping Yahweh/ Enlil.
With this realization, one can realize most of our history has been a battle against the corrupted and psychotic Catholic Roman church and the corrupted and psychotic Freem@sons. Both have taken their own understandings of our past and will kill and torture anyone who doesn't believe their own.
The elites believe that Lucifer using Satan as his agent enlightened man with knowledge that could make him more powerful than god. Again how completely arrogant and deceived to believe this and also not even understand your own story you use as proof.
First off, the serpent to these people accurately means wisdom and knowledge. The term nahash in Hebrew means Serpent and means The Shining or enlightened. That's what the serpent represented in the Adam and Eve story. But these dummies don't realize Enki is Lucifer. Not the Sun or a hidden god, but the Sumerian god named Enki
Lord Enki (En=Lord, Ki= Earth)
Enki means the Lord of the Earth and is either an incarnation or father of such figures such as Quetzalcoatl, Thoth, Odin, Loki, Prometheus Enoch, etc. I've made a film to show how there is much evidence to prove Enki was also Jesus; and the Satanists believe this as they believe Jesus, Satan, and Lucifer are all one of the same.
Where we differ though is that I believe that there is enough evidence to show that Yahshua did walk the earth, was crucified, and was either such an enlightened being that he understood the true nature of God or was a reflection of the true god of love himself.
It's funny that these people believe that their God Lucifer is not an actual Creator God when in every single culture, who Supposedly never knew each other, they speak about the same being. the same iconography, the same symbols, and the same Teachings. From the Native Americans, to the native Australians, to the Sumerians to the Asians, to tribes in Africa, and those in South America, etc.
These so-called Luciferians don't realize that Enki is the good God in the bible.
The god who is said to have gone behind Enlil's back to give us the knowledge of the Gods and to make us more enlightened than our rulers. The one who saved us from many of Enlil's famines and the great flood in which he wished to destroy all of humanity. Enki warned Utnapishna or Noah to build his ark and save his family and as many animals as he could.
Enki is the god who created us out of clay. Enki fell in love with his creation which he had made perfect. He saw himself in his creation and did everything in his power to uplift them and allow them to become enlightened themselves.
Much of the Bible is trying to teach you to not forget your true self and be led astray by Satan, Enlil, who rules in a shadow form. King Solomon and King David and the stories about them are a clear reference to this. Enlil, the god of the sky, and the eagle is still the ruler of the world today. You can see this on every single military and government insignia.
And this is why the elites hate Christianity. Because the ancient Sumerians and every other culture mirror and validate Christianity.
Enki should not be worshiped like he is god, for many cultures only speak of him as the mediator between the one true god. The god of unity and love, The God Who is everything In this universe. Although Enki is the father of man and created man to be more perfect than the rulers at the time, His only goal and purpose is to uplift Humanity to its own level.
That the true God is found within, every single culture in the world, who did not know each other at the time, and have the same iconography and stories about Creator Gods who made us in their image. The elites do not believe this. as you can see through our indoctrination through the schooling system. rationally there is no other way to explain how our brain gained such mass and brain capacity in such a short time.
It's also hilarious that these people think that they know so much when literally so many people of the world who Have a rich culture and a passed-down oral tradition literally tell you where they got their information from.
Every other religion, which they are against and wish to eradicate, are religions of love and unity. When not mistranslated and when reading their true teachings, one realizes that every religion is a way back to the unification with god.
A example of the higher realm of unity
We are all not our bodies but we are Immortal awareness, a reflection of God. There is only one consciousness in the whole universe and that is god. We are all Experiencing God to remember ourselves as God, to return to one's true self( which is God). The elites wish to erase our relationship to God and our true selves and return us to the state that Enlil originally tried to keep us in, slaves.
The elites who practice a satanic form of Gnosticism wish to create a socialist authoritarian technocracy and control everything we do think and consume so we may be 'illuminated' by their beliefs and return to Enlil's original wish for us to be slaves and drones. Peasants and little workers who serve our illuminated gods and live in their "utopia."
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The Messiah

The elites plan to create this new Society and order out the ashes of chaos. They plan on spearheading this by appointing a messiah, someone who will unite all the world's religions in a Time when it seems like there will be no peace.
I will go into this in detail and other posts as the elites fully believe that their Messiah is on the Earth today and will emerge very soon. Without even knowing this, I have met many people and heard many stories about this supposed messiah, and I will go into great detail explaining all perspectives and sides of this.
What I do know is that this Messiah is awaited by both those spiritually enlightened and those serving the false lords.
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One of the punishment video guides I watched, recommended going into replays and jotting down what moves the opponent uses that you could have punished.
I think this is a good idea however it makes labbing feel more boring and it just feels like actual studying at this point. And reading the command history is so hard when people mash even if you know the limb buttons. So identifying the move to set up in practice later for drills is a nightmare.
I'd rather just play the game but I realise that I can't improve if I don't suck it up and do my homework.
I do enjoy taking over replays and trying out various stuff but I feel even though it is kinda useful, it doesn't really program my muscle memory for punishment like taking notes and taking the moves to practice mode to set up the dummy performing the same moves.
TLDR: Confused how to make labbing fun and effective. It feels like they're mutually exclusive a lot of the time.

Hello all, I decided to make an account after reading other previous posts. I figured I'd explain my story in hopes some kind stranger has went through something similar and can point me in the right direction.
About two months ago, I started having weird symptoms that I've never had a problem with. It felt like an anxiety attack, which I worked through one Saturday night. (I hardly ever do recreational things, but had a 10mg gummy the night of the attack. I've only ever had 3-4 gummies prior to this. No alcohol or anything) Never had one before, but my wife was thinking that's what it was. Within the next week, I was working nights and had a chill/weak feeling seep over my whole body and I just felt like something was wrong along with some chest tightness and dizziness. Left work to the ER. Had a head CT with and without contrast, chest Xray, EKG (I think thats it) and nothing was determined to be wrong. I was feeling better by the end of those 4 hours so I went home. A week and a half later, same thing happened. They did another EKG and chest Xray, nothing. But as I was talking to doc, he noticed I had premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) on the heart monitor and referred me to cardiologist. First cardiologist I went to was an asshole, saying nothing was wrong with me. But to make me feel better, he had me wear a holter monitor for 2 days and did an echocardiogram. I switched doctors to follow up with, which just happened this Tuesday. He said both of those look relatively normal, but he's requesting a 2 week monitor because he feels like 2 days didn't capture enough. He also requested a tilt table test, which has a waitlist so I'm unsure of how long either of these will take to complete.
Best way I can describe daily symptoms is feeling slightly buzzed/drunk all the time. Like if I turn my head too quickly, I get a little lightheaded and stumble, or vision gets a little blurry. I also find myself searching for words to say in the middle of sentences and such, like I can't figure out what I want to say. Standing, I feel weak and lightheaded. Sitting, it comes in waves. I could be fine, then suddenly lightheaded for a second, then fine again. Laying down, feels like my heart is beating hard and it's the only time I notice the heart palpitations. I don't really notice them standing or sitting too often.
Any advice from others on what to do next if these tests come back cleared as well?
Back information : female, 30years old, 195 lbs. I know im overweight and am working on it, this has given me a huge health scare. I've changed my diet and started a different position at work a month ago that's much more physical. I've been on prilosec for acid reflux for 3 years, iron tablets due to borderline anemia for 4 years and wellbutrin for the past 8 months or so with no known side effects thus far. My dad had similar symptoms 6 years ago and was put on Effexor, which I mentioned to my family doctor and he put me on Pristiq starting today. Hoping it helps with the symptoms, but not entirely convinced this is all anxiety. TIA.

Soooo…just like the title, I have no idea what I’m doing. Got Minecraft Java & bedrock edition deluxe for PC. My kid is obsessed with Aphmau (who wouldn’t I’ve actually joined in with her interest in it and we’re playing together) I made our own “world” I’ve gone to the marketplace and I think I just “purchased”the “aphmau and friends” skins. Which is fine, cool. She wants to have the skins, rock on. (I’m old don’t laugh at me too much lol) because she’s in her little world or server idk and she’s “aphmua” the skin anyway. but when I click servers, Idk what in the world I’m doing. I know they’re other people but how do I join specific ones. As I’ve read in a previous thread, there isn’t such thing as an aphmau server.
Basically, idk what I’m doing. She keeps going to the marketplace and see “one block challenge” and stuff. How do I do this? She wants to play in the same servers or realms that aphmua has.
Do I just need to go to Minecraft for dummies or something? I’m old (not really) and unfamiliar with how it works. Granted, I am the one who set up her “world” and made it to where she can only play with her friends. I’m okay with her playing in servers with other people only when I’m playing with her. That’s because I’m afraid of online predators. She’ll learn about trolls just being mean and to block them out, or let me take care of it 😈 lol anyway, ranting. HELP PLEASE!!!

Ok so yesterday he told me he likes me through a note that said I love you, he gave it to one of our mutual friends and today he gave it to me. But get this it was in another language the friend told me it was either Chinese or Japanese and that I had to decipher it. So when my crush came out to break I asked damn any hints, he told me it was in Japanese and he showed me a notebook with the translations. He only let me get through three letters and he said no more. I asked him why not and he said cause it would make things complicated. So in my next period, after break I search up a bunch of Japanese alphabets and I figure out it says I love you, and I was so confused and the friend who gave me the note also has the class and we were talking about him and stuff, I decided to write him a note back but In morse code, it read, I love you too dummy, so at lunch I tried to take my crushes backpack and like I fell and our friends and him came to ask if I was okay and after that we were all laughing a ton. I asked my crush if his note was just a joke and he kept saying I don't know, I told him I don't know is probably not his real answer and that I'd be pretty sad if it was a joke and he asked why and I said alright ima do what you do to me, I don't know, just to be petty. I told him if it was a joke then I don't need to give you my reply back then and I put my note in my backpack, we waited for a bit and i decided to ask once more and he said that it wasn't a joke, so I took out my reply and said here, he said he would open it later since there a lot of people and said just open it and he opened it and found out it was in Morse code and was like hell nah Morse code is hard, and I said yeah you made me do Japanese, just search it up how you made me do. For a lot of my asking if this was a joke I was leaning my head on his arm and I could tell he was nervous cause he was playing with his hands a lot, so I decided to ask since when had he liked me and he said how am I supposed to remember i I asked a few questions like in February and he shook his head I asked before February and he said no all the way until we found out it was in April, I just kept saying in April sounding so surprised. While walking back to class our hands were brushing next to eachother so much and our friends were like just hold hands already and stuff, and I said nah I'd rather do this and have him a hug from the side and he was kinda grabbing my arm and rubbing it all the was to class. I didn't see him anymore that day

Winter's getting close, and while final food stockpile prep is ongoing wanted to check on a few things regarding training/books.
First, the "training" category in jobs tab with priorities is this a way to set training in a "fire-and-forget" way, nobles will train once all more important work is done, and that time can be limited on the same window different tab regarding time limits. Is that correct?
Second, the train time block in the schedule window will overtide any other orders/time limits from work tab? Is time spent training that way counted towards the job window time limit?
Third, books? I assume book choice will be based on the percentages in the training window, but what if there are no books for the areas selected? Nobles will read anything or?
Forth, training via books vs dummy slapping: didn't see ranged/melee categories in the training window. How can I ensure that a noble will slap the dummy to practice ranged (I love that pls don't remove, maybe change the animation to use the ranged weapon) for X hours, and read for Y hours?
Fifth, do serfs behave/are treated differently in these areas?
BONUS: any way to reorder nobles in main UI and/or work+schedule windows? It would be lovely to ensure noble order matches between these windows.

I know there are plenty of threads of people asking for recommendations, and I’ve read probably 50 of them already and watched many hours of YouTube reviews, but I figured I want my own thread to see what would be the best recommendations for me with the most current information since this appears to be a very rapidly evolving and growing market.
There’s obviously a lot of scooters coming out from many different companies, a lot of options is good, but it feels as there’s too many options. It is very hard to keep up with all of these brands, other brands rebranding someone else’s items, brands merging, brands buying each other, brands using other brands as their test dummies, changes in QC and operations, etc.
I am coming to the electric scooter family from being in a OneWheel family for the past 5 years. I also own a Ninebot ES2, which as far as I’m aware is considered pretty low end around here. I like it though, it does its advertised 15mph, lights work, nothing has fallen off, very light, but I want something from maybe more an intermediate level.
From reading all of the threads, it’s hard to tell which brand is good and which isn’t, I feel like it’s a fair share of complaining about pretty much all of the brands. I do not have any commitment to any brand. One of the major complaints I see is the warranty period and the ability to obtain parts to repair. I am cool with tinkering and fixing stuff. My OneWheel Pint actually stopped turning on, and knowing how Future Motion rolls, this will be a $500 fix with shipping to California and back. I think at this point it’s easier to jump ship to something more safe and newer technology.
I’m looking for something with a decent range, preferably around 20 miles at traveling speed over 20mph. Hand brakes would be fantastic, ES2’s brake is crap. Thumb throttle seems great, but I haven’t personally tried any other ones. Foldable is a must, which I feel like 90%+ of them are. Removable battery isn’t required but would be nice to have. Preferably not something that ships from China by sea and would take 30 days to get here. Off road capabilities would be great but not a must since there is more than enough paved surface around me. No flimsy tires that’ll have to get replaced monthly. Decent phone app. Reasonable weight to get into the trunk and out of the trunk on the regular.
I have Best Buy Total Tech (or whatever the new name is) so I get extended warranty, plus have extended warranty protection on my credit card. With that being said, I’m not committed to buying from Best Buy only.
I’ve looked a ton into Ninebot G30 Max, G2 Max, Apollo Go and City (2024 models), NIU KQi3 Max, KQi Air, KQi 300X, Mantis v2, Splach Titan, Nanrobot D6+, Vsett 10+.
Just trying to get some first hand opinions of those who have a lot more experience and knowledge about electrical scooters than I do on what would be the best option for me.
Thanks in advance!

First off, thanks for allowing me to post here, and the messages I've gotten have been encouraging to know that I'm not insane. It seems my neighborhood is better known than I thought. Especially in Texas. And just FYI, this could be another long one
So I feel our wave of oddities hasn't ended here, oddly enough. We acknowledged something is here, and after that, it's been off to the races. I still try to debunk or think rational about things I think is odd, and I also have to admit I am now hyper aware of things. I'm not scared, but I am on guard cause it seems the most happens around me and the kids.
Now I'm a dummy cause I have been talking about putting up cameras and I actually have a camera system but it doesn't do audio and lately sounds have definitely ramped up and the camera system I have is nice, however it's wired and kids and wires don't mix. However, we had a day last week. I wish I had just gone ahead and bought wireless cameras. This update starts on a Friday night.
For context, my night time ritual is to usually stay in my sons room till he falls asleep and then after he goes to sleep, I'll get up, crack his door so I can hear him cry at night and meet my wife and daughter in my master. Usually, by this time, my daughter is asleep, and I'll carry her to bed and crack the door. This particular night, I did my usual for my son and then did my usual for my daughter. However, at this night, there was a baby walker that was leaning against the wall, and it prevented me from cracking the door. This thing was motion activated, and so I just put the door to the wheels and didn't move the walker so it wouldn't wake the kids.
The next morning, I woke up to my wife questioning me if I had shut my daughters door and opened my sons door. This was weird considering my daughter was in her usual spot and my son actually slept the entire night. This is particularly odd because 2 things. When my daughter comes to my bed at night, she doesn't care to close doors. If anything, she doesn't like closed doors. The second reason is that the walker was now over by her bed. Now, most parents will say, "Kids are random." How do you know she didn't do it? And what about your son's door? Couldn't your daughter have done it? And the answer is yes, she could have, but her being a creature of habit and with autism almost insure she didn't. For a 3 yr old the girl is methodical in everything she does. Plus, I'm a night owl, 9 times out of 10. I see her leave her room for mine, and it's usually the door flies open, and she's running for my bed. She takes the time to stop for NOTHING. She would rather trip over it and keep on running that stop and go around the object.
That same morning, I was lazy in my sons room as he plays. We have his toys and then a tall tower fan. I came in, turned it on , lay on the ground bed, and watched my son play. Now this fan is old. Like over 15 years old, the damn thing only works if the cord is a certain way, but I'm a cheap skate, and the thing still works so don't judge me lol. Anyways I was laying there, and all of a sudden, I heard a button being pressed, the fan beeps, and the fan speed goes higher. Now, this fan is a POS. It only works when it wants. The buttons push ok. It doesn't mean the fan will work, but the buttons have never gotten stuck and a logical explanation that there is maybe a malfunction in the buttons. However. I feel the buttons are ok, and I think it's worth noting. and when it did happen, I did hear the press and release of the button. The thing creaks and pops when you press it. So there is a possible logical theory here on what happened. However, it's the first time I've seen this happen, and I find it very strange.
That same night, everyone had gone to bed. My daughter was in my bed already. I want to say it was about 2:30 am. I was in bed just thinking, and I heard what sounded like someone snorted or the sound of hawking a spit. And it sounded far away. But it was pronounced enough that I had to check if my son was OK. He was dead asleep. And the sound didn't sound like a baby. It sounded like a woman did it. And my daughter and wife are with me. And babies don't clear their throats. They cough. I haven't found an explanation for this yet.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Update 11 will come as more happens.

I have a sincere interest in studying law and I think I would find it quite fascinating to read through medical records. I’m very good at pinpointing important things. Residents love to have a comeback and be annoying as fuck so I always have all my evidence ready to go when I’m asking them to do something that I know they won’t want to. And I am not happy when they give me shit. So I lay down the facts. And inevitably they get embarrassed and pissy because a nurse who is probably younger than them is right but they can’t admit it. And it’s so annoying. My permanent job is in ICU and they do rotations. I do this 4 times a week. Like no one expects you to be perfect at your literal two week rotation in critical care. Anyways that’s besides the point. I love being right and before I speak, I make sure I’m right. I also have become well equipped to phrase things to illicit the response I want. I sound evil when I put it like that but I just mean.. it’s hard to tell a family ummm yes I know your husband is dying but your 7 year old boy has to leave because that’s policy. Of course it kills me inside to do stuff like that but I have found ways to word things so that families and patients respond positively. Which I think in my observation is hard for nurses and people in general.(maybe bc I work with so many young people?) anyways I do think I have a passion and I love learning new things and observing human behavior and picking out evidence I love it all. Nursing is beyond interesting but I don’t want to do this forever. well shit I don’t even want to do it now. But then I think to myself what job could I possibly do that would be as interesting as this? I think I would be bored at most desk jobs but I think a juicy medical malpractice case would feed my soul tbh. And I know just what to look for. I have seen so many instances where I’m like…… this family could sue big time and I know exactly whose fault it is.
I do have some fears. 1. I think my biggest fear is going into a male dominated work force. I am not a man hater. I love men. But I’ve worked with mainly females and went to college with mainly females. So idk it just makes me nervous. I think I’m just like shy around guys now. And also the thought of like a grown man berating me for some bullshit like doesn’t sit right with me. Like is it common to have insane bitchy/asshole bosses? Not worried about sexual harassment. Pretty confident I can handle myself in that regard if a situation like that were to arise. 2. The money. Realistically, I’m simply not going to go thru law school to make $50k. I can’t even believe that’s a number being tossed around as a lawyers salary. How good of a school do you have to get into to get a good job out of school? I’m the kind of girl that will do what I have to do. If top 20 schools are the only ones that lead to decent jobs then fine. Guess I’ll be buckling down harder than I thought on the LSAT and doing what I have to do to get in. 3. Medical malpractice lawyers.. do you like it? Any other specialties in law that would fit with a nurses experience? 4. Would the law profession respect a nurse? Yes I know everyone says you people are angels society is so grateful for you blah blah blah. But realistically what’s your perception of nurses? Good or bad? Would it affect who you would hire? Would it affect how you think of their intellect? I feel like people think nurses are dumb. Which i kinda can’t blame them because #1 about 50% ish of nurses are indeed stupid. And #2 nurses complain about everything. And nursing students complain about how hard school is. Like it’s not med school? It really wasn’t that hard… was it easy? No. But there so much exaggeration when people talk about how hard nursing school is. It seriously triggers me when people look down on my intelligence so i do wonder how I would cope when I feel like people in this sector might think I’m a dummy because I was a nurse. Bonus: How many of you are allowed to say fuck in the office? After being a nurse I seemed to have lost my fuck filter. Woooops! I supposed I could get it under control if have to…
TLDR: I feel like I have the qualities to be a good lawyer.. do you? I think I would really enjoy using my nursing knowledge in the world of law because I’ve observed so many things that really are meaningless except in a sector such as law. In which they become monumental. I do have some fears though… the bosses, the pay, how people perceive a nurse turned lawyer etc. any feedback is appreciated. Thank y’all
Ps if any of you want to take a chance on a random Reddit nurse I would love to get my toes wet and review some charts for a law office. I would love to be a legal nurse consultant but there’s not many jobs and so I would have to keep my full time nursing job and do it as a side gig.

Ding
SovietGoat says for $5 - 'Perry, how good did Randy Callahan pp taste when you swallowed him like a milkshake in 1992? Hail Satan 666'
Perry - 'YOU MUDDA FUCKA I did not suck his fucking dick. I am FUCKING sick of hearing that shit. Dude, the computer is off if I hear that bullshit again.
Everyone in the chat spams something about 1992 or Perry being gay
Tom - 'Calm down you big baby.'
Knock
Perry - 'Someone's at the door.'
Perry opens the door and sees a guy with a McDonalds bag in his hand
Perry - 'SON OF A'
Perry takes the bag and solemnly says 'Thank you', then slams the door
Perry - 'YOU MUDDA FUCKAS I DON'T WANT FUCKING MCDONALDS!' I AM SICK OF THIS SHIT. STOP SENDING ME FUCKING MCDONALDS!!!'
Tom - 'Don't read the reciept. We don't read reciepts, open the bag'
Perry - 'I DON'T WANT IT'
Tom - Open up the bag dummy, you haven't even seen what's in it.
Perry - 'FILLET O FISH. I HATE THIS GARBAGE. I DON'T WANT IT!!!'
Perry places the sandwich on the desk and grabs the other items from the bag
Perry - 'Napkins. Coffee. ANOTHER FILLET O FISH. TRASH!!!'
Tom - 'You can take a bite.'
Perry - "I'M NOT TAKING A FUCKING BIIIITE. I HATE FILLET O FISH. LOOK, THERE'S FUCKING PICKLES ON IT. TRASH. I'M NOT EATING IIIIIT'.
Tom - Stop with the fake voice and calm down.
Perry - THERE'S FUCKING PICKLES ON IT. I HATE PICKLES!!!
Ding
SovietGoat says for $5 - 'Perry, why did you kill Mike Majestic? I am coming into your house while you are away to smoke. 1992 hail satan'

Such as the title goes, I got my passport just today (May 27) but submitted my application at the BLS application center in Makati, Philippines last May 16. Unfortunately I got my visa application denied.
The reasons they stated (from the letter attached with my passport):
-Justification for the purpose and conditions of the intended stay was not provided.
(I stated that I was graduating but I'm from the green school so our graduation always happens the next term after your last, I finished my last term from (January to April), graduation happens on the next term (May to August) specifically on June. My purpose was for tourism and mentioned it as a graduation gift from my parents where in they would provide for the whole trip but I would travel alone.)
-You have not provided sufficient means of subsistence, for the duration of the intended stay or for the return to the country of origin or residence, or for the transit to a third country into which you are certain to be admitted.
-You have not provided proof that you are in a position to lawfully acquire sufficient means of subsistence, for the duration of intended stay or for the return to the country of origin or residence, or for the transit to a third country into which you are certain to be admitted.
(This baffles me the most, how much money does Spain expect you to have for a 12 day travel period? I submitted bank certificates (my mom and even my own), I submitted a bank certificate of mine which stated that I have a total of USD 10,000 (Dollar account) and my mom's bank certificate, ITR, and an annual gross income of my mom (from her company) which is 20 times more than my bank account. All these certificates are official and from the banks themselves even addressing the consul.)
-There are reasonable doubts as to the reliability, as to the authenticity of the supporting documents submitted or as to the veracity of their contents.
(Like I said earlier all means of financial support are all official from the bank with "wet" signatures from the officers/officials acknowledging and signing them. Bought a real AXA travel insurance (included this with the application), only thing was the dummy airline ticket and booking (but as stated by multiple tips from websites, reddit posts, and FB groups) which was the recommended way of applying incase you would not get your visa in time for the flight you intended.)
-There are reasonable doubts as to your intention to leave the territory if the Member States before the expiry of the visa.
(I specifically stated on my itinerary that my stay would only be for 12 days because I have to be back for my graduation, stated that I just want to solo travel prior to me reaching the last days of being a student and official making bread for myself.)
Thoughts on this? Apologies for writing a wordy post (rant na rin siguro) but I would like to see if any of you can see inconsistencies in my application and what I should do the next time. Especially if I should appeal with certain documents or just re-apply again? Read a lot of people saying re-apply again because appeals usually take an average of 4 months (so much beyond my intended travel dates).
Notes: For my booking I showed a booking reservation from Booking.com (paid for it as a dummy with the airline ticket) but also indicated that I would travel to my friend's apartment (studying masters in Spain and is a resident and will be coming home at the end of June as he is done, one of the reasons Spain was my travel destination because my parents allowed it because I won't technically be alone, I also submitted copies of his resident's ID (Spain) and passport (Philippine).
They requested for previous passports as well:
I submitted my current one (with US B1/B2 10 year visa, 5 year Japanese visa), the previous one (with B1/B2 10 year visa, 5 year Japanese visa, and multiple travel stamps), and a more previous one (with B1/B2 10 year visa and yet again more travel stamps). I had another passport with me as an actual baby and that had a US visa as well but they just needed the current one and 2 older passports.
TL;DR
Got my Spanish visa denied despite being confident with the documents included with the application, need help determining where I went wrong and if I should appeal or re-apply.