Holiday pictionary ideas

I'm really torn and could use some outside perspective. My daughter (15F) is in ninth grade and her best friend, who is a classmate of hers, is turning 16 soon. His parents are throwing him a birthday party next Saturday at their holiday house in the mountains, which is about a 3-hour drive from where we live. A few of their other classmates are also invited, and it's planned to be a sleepover party from Saturday to Sunday.
Here's the situation: the best friend's parents have generously offered to pick up my daughter on Friday (a day before the other guests arrive) and bring her back with them on Sunday night. Initially, this seemed like a kind offer, but I'm extremely uncomfortable with the idea of my daughter being around her best friend's dad for an extended period.
The reason is that her best friend's dad has a criminal record. He served a 4-year suspended prison sentence for procuring and loansharking in the past. While I understand that everyone deserves a second chance, and he has presumably paid his debt to society, I just don't feel comfortable with my daughter spending the night at their house, especially under these circumstances.
My husband disagrees with me. He thinks I'm overreacting and that our daughter's friend shouldn't have to suffer because of his father's past mistakes. He also points out that there will be other kids there, which should make it safer.
I can see his point, but I can't shake off my unease. I want to protect my daughter and make sure she's safe, but I also don't want to be unfair to her friend or overly restrictive. Am I being unreasonable here? AITA for not allowing my daughter to attend her best friend's birthday party due to his dad's criminal record?

Hello travelers!
So my wife and I booked a last minute cruise to Iceland and Norway through NCL this June. We're a family of four, with 3-year-old and 8-month-old boys.
Our Itinerary is as follows:
Day 1 - Reykjavik (Embarkation) Day 2 - Grundarfjordur Day 3 - Akureyri Day 4 - Sea Day Day 5 - Kristiansund (Norway) Day 6 - Trondheim (Norway) Day 7 - Alesund (Norway) Day 8 - Sea Day Day 9 - Husavik Day 10 - Isafjordur Day 11 - Reykjavik (Debarkation)
We're arriving one day before and staying one day after the cruise in Reykjavik.
I was looking for some general tips and advice as to our Itinerary. Looking at the excursions offered directly through NCL (as well as privately through other companies), I feel like what's available isn't really something the kiddos would appreciate or enjoy. Don't think it's a good idea to book many of those excursions for two main reasons:

1. Many are 3-8 hour long tours, something little kids would probably hate. While ours are generally well behaved and we've traveled extensively with them on multi day, hour long trips, that's usually in the comfort and privacy of our own cars. Also, these tours involve either clamoring onto boats for nature or wildlife watching, moderately difficult hikes, or really long drives. Stuff I think our kiddos might be over with in the first 20 minutes lol.
   
2. We want to be considerate of everyone else! There are likely many others on these tours, and don't want to subject them to our kids' potential tantrums, where they are stuck with us for hours. We understand little kids can be stressful, and we're already "intruding" on many people's vacation by simply coming along on the cruise, so we want to limit our impact on others' holiday as much as possible.
   

Some questions/advice sought are:

• As it relates to the Icelandic ports, are all these ports generally easy to walk around and explore on foot immediately following getting off the ship? We're considering maybe doing our own thing rather than booking tours, and simply walk around leisurely and poke around these ports. Is this feasible to do given our Itinerary?
  
• We are wanting to travel lightly, and are debating leaving our car seats behind. I understand Iceland's laws as they relate to child seats. Are taxis or other car transport services easy to book, and how difficult is it to request appropriate child seats? Good idea to leave the car seats at home, or bite the bullet and bring em with us?
  
• Given our Itinerary, anything special or interesting for little kids that stick out at any or these ports? Any recommendations of tours, sights, or experiences would be great!
  

Considering if I may have been dating some kind of narcissist?
Ok so, I’m only just considering the possibility that I was dating some kinda narcissist.
I met a guy from online dating. Exceptionally Handsome photos, very smooth and charming. We met in person and immediately and him got on exceptionally well. He was the most intelligent man I’ve ever met in my life, on dates he wanted to talk at length about intellectual topics.
Despite getting along well, this is where the weird behaviour came in. When parting ways on dates, after the date he was very distant. He would send a long formal message, not check I got home safe.
He never lovebombed. But I’m considering if he is a cerebral narcissist for the following reasons
We went on several further dates. Mainly daytime dates. He would be very affectionate, hold my hand and kiss my forehead. He brought me along to meet his friends. Still amazing conversation. But I always felt like he was the one in control
He was always quite a stern stoic person, very unemotional. He cared a lot about his hair, often showing me pics of himself. Talking about his appearance a lot
If I stayed over, in the mornings I basically felt he was kicking me out, same thing if he stayed at mine he would want to leave early. He’d make me coffee, and his demeanour had completely changed. He would not cuddle me after intimacy. Then after the date, once again taking days to reply and sending formal paragraphs.
After the first time I stayed over, which was a lovely date. He went on holiday for 10 days and didn’t message me. When he came back, he was being extremely cold in messages
The next thing was interesting. He was fired from his job. He told me it was because he told them ‘you don’t know how to run a company.’ this made him quite stressed
But he still continued meeting me. Once again affectionate on dates
On the very last date, he cooked me dinner and we had a nice time. Though when he was cooking the steak, he went on for about 20 mins about the science and molecules involved when cooking a steak. It was cute but a bit much. He always referred to intelligent people as ‘people like us.’ And he always commented on my intelligence as a reason why he likes me. On the morning of the last date, he went on a rant about how he struggles to respect those he works with as he feels they don’t deserve the job. He also told me empathy is something he finds hard to feel
Things changed after this date and he was texting me all the time. Sending cute date ideas. I then asked him if I could see him on my way past for a few hours, he told me he was hungover. And sent a bit of a harsh cold message
2 weeks later, he ended things and said he didn’t feel romantic.
2 months later, he comes back to be friends. Took me to play golf, to a music gig. Was being very nice to me, sending supportive messages when I was at work stressed. Hugging me a lot and telling me how glad he is to see me. Texting me a lot.
Then he disappears again. Ignored my messages. It’s like he only wants to speak or see me on his terms.
So I considered perhaps he is narcissistic minus the love bombing. (I’m too clever to fall for love bombing he could feel)
He claims ‘I’m just like him but he’s more harsh.’

I know this is a no brainer but I have holiday plans with a friend. There's this guy I've known since 2020. I used to have a thing with him. I call it an imaginary relationship/talking stage. We were never official and I get red flags (player type, all this trauma, so manny toxic exes). But overall I think he's a cool, nice funny guy. I never liked any one that much. i think because it was my imagination/fantasy that I'd like him more than guys I've known in person. He would FaceTime and audio call me almost daily. We drifted and stopped talking entirely.
I invited him to my holiday plan in Bali with my friend. So far it's a yes and a maybe. And it makes the trip even more exciting. I might meet him in another state for a few days, then he can stay with us in the condo we're staying in for a beach. He has family there so he offered a place by the beach his uncle owns but I rejected it because stranger danger. I'm excited over the idea of sharing a room with him, spending time with him in that shoer weeks time. Cuddling him. But I already have a sketchy internet dating experience.
despite knowing him for this long and having been in love with the ixea of this guy ... my gut feeling screams stranger danger. I don't actually know him. What if I get rped over and over abducted killed?!
Maybe get separate rooms? Take it slow. And if he seems like a decent person ... ask if he wanted some company? I'm tempted to sleep w him LOL. But I don't I don't know if sharing a room with him straight away if a good idea. but I don't want to make the mistake of on the first few day/date and feeling easy/prostituting myself which has happened once and I wish I hadn't gone for it. Turns out I can't control myself next to boys I like. My reasoable mjnd tells me sus him out first then on the last days ask if he wanted some company.
I don't want to put my self in danger or do something I'll regret. So be, plan B? Get separate rooms and sus him out? Otherwise if we don't get along we could kick him out to stay in his uncles condo. Jokes. I really want him to stay with us and get to knkw the real him, spend time with him. I accepted years back that the odds of this becoming a real long term relationship isn't very realistic lol
We don't even know if this plan is actually going to end up happening. The holiday as well. But I hope it does! I am excited!

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Myself(m32) and my girlfriend(f31) have been together for 4 months, still early I know. Back story we work in the same job but in different areas of the country and over the past few years have had many close encounters but nothing ever happened even though we have both admitted since that we both liked eachother for a very long time.
So eventually we did connect and we went on our first date and it was amazing, it was only a walk around a park but after that first date I just knew this girl was the one! It was something I couldnt explain. From that day we couldnt get enough of eachother, we were speaking all the time and seeing eachother whenever we could. Life was amazing, we were only together for 2 months before we both confessed that we loved eachother.
Ive had several really bad relationships in the past and been screwed over so many times in my life that I had these defensive walls up but she got those walls down and I let her in quicker than I ever thought I would have. She told me all the things I needed to hear and it really just made me love her even more, for the first time she made me feel like I was good enough.
My girlfriend also has a young son who is 6 years old and whenever she first asked me how I would feel about meeting him I told her Im more than happy to meet him but it has to be when shes ready and she is comfortable with that happening. So a few weeks later she decided it was time, we went a day out to a kids inflatable park place and I got on great with him right from the start. I feel like her son really took to me well and we could clearly tell that! She said she had only ever introduced him to 2 other guys she dated and he never really had an interest in them nor did they with him. Whereas I make an effort to bond with him, I build his lego with him, draw with him, play in the garden with him.. hes asked a few times that I read him his bed time story, if we watch a movie he wants to sit next to me on the couch.. and probably the biggest thing on 2 seperate occassions he introduced me to one of his friends as his step dad(we have never mentioned anything like this so its entirely came from himself) which we both found funny and my girlfriend even said well clearly he does like me. Ive grown really fond of him and hes an added bonus to my life, I feel like im in a lucky position that I get an amazing girlfriend and along with that comes an amazing new wee pal.
Now in regards to her son, I asked her if she had told his dad about me yet because I think its respectful to do so.. if it was me Id like to know if there was a new man around my child. She said she hadnt yet but she was going to soon. I was happy at that. With things going as well as they were, we started talking and planning alot of future stuff together. So we have a city break booked at the end of June, a load of tickets for shows etc that are all for both of us and her son, we have a log cabin stay booked for just the 2 of us and later in the year we decided to fully commit to an actual week holiday away and again we are taking her son with us. Booking this holiday made me ask the question again if she had told his dad about me yet because now its not just a new guy around the house, hes literally coming away on holiday with us.. well she still hadnt told him because he was being civil and communicating well with her and she knew when she told him he would change.
This leads us pretty much to where we are now.. the big turn in all of this. Out of the blue from absolutely nowhere she tells me she thinks this has all moved too fast and alot of it seems to be revolving around her saying she shouldnt have let me meet her son as soon as she did and that it was a poor parenting decision on her part. Now I’ll agree it moved fast but it wasnt forced it just happened! And part of me thinks that actually speaks volumes about the connection we have, she speaks to me all the time about us getting married and having kids of our own and this life we want together.
And now nothing! She says she needs space from me, she barely replies to my texts but when I asked her she said she still wants to be with me but it feels like shes just saying that. This girl has went from making me feel things ive not felt in a very long time and feeling things ive never felt before to practically overnight being completely different.
Im thinking its involving her sons dad, I think he has maybe heard perhaps from her son.. hes maybe mentioned the holiday and hes asked whos going and hes said his mum and me.. and thats how hes found out! God forbid if hes asked who I am and the son has said im his step dad because I know I wouldnt be happy if that happened to me! Maybe the dad has kicked off at her and told her shes a terrible parent like he had in the past and shes thought maybe she has done the wrong thing.. who knows.
All I know is right now im stuck in this limbo not knowing whats happening.. we have all these trips planned booked and paid for and Ive no idea if we are going or not! My head is all over the place and I can seem to get a straight answer from her but I also dont want to push her.
Apologies for the long post Ive probably missed out loads of other small details. I really just needed to rant but any outsiders views on this would be appreciated!

Hello travelers!
So my wife and I booked a last minute cruise to Iceland and Norway through NCL this June. We're a family of four, with 3-year-old and 8-month-old boys.
Our Itinerary is as follows:
Day 1 - Reykjavik (Embarkation) Day 2 - Grundarfjordur Day 3 - Akureyri Day 4 - Sea Day Day 5 - Kristiansund (Norway) Day 6 - Trondheim (Norway) Day 7 - Alesund (Norway) Day 8 - Sea Day Day 9 - Husavik Day 10 - Isafjordur Day 11 - Reykjavik (Debarkation)
We're arriving one day before and staying one day after the cruise in Reykjavik.
I was looking for some general tips and advice as to our Itinerary. Looking at the excursions offered directly through NCL (as well as privately through other companies), I feel like what's available isn't really something the kiddos would appreciate or enjoy. Don't think it's a good idea to book many of those excursions for two main reasons:

1. Many are 3-8 hour long tours, something little kids would probably hate. While ours are generally well behaved and we've traveled extensively with them on multi day, hour long trips, that's usually in the comfort and privacy of our own cars. Also, these tours involve either clamoring onto boats for nature or wildlife watching, moderately difficult hikes, or really long drives. Stuff I think our kiddos might be over with in the first 20 minutes lol.
   
2. We want to be considerate of everyone else! There are likely many others on these tours, and don't want to subject them to our kids' potential tantrums, where they are stuck with us for hours. We understand little kids can be stressful, and we're already "intruding" on many people's vacation by simply coming along on the cruise, so we want to limit our impact on others' holiday as much as possible.
   

Some questions/advice sought are:

• As it relates to the Icelandic ports, are all these ports generally easy to walk around and explore on foot immediately following getting off the ship? We're considering maybe doing our own thing rather than booking tours, and simply walk around leisurely and poke around these ports. Is this feasible to do given our Itinerary?
  
• We are wanting to travel lightly, and are debating leaving our car seats behind. I understand Iceland's laws as they relate to child seats. Are taxis or other car transport services easy to book, and how difficult is it to request appropriate child seats? Good idea to leave the car seats at home, or bite the bullet and bring em with us?
  
• Given our Itinerary, anything special or interesting for little kids that stick out at any or these ports? Any recommendations of tours, sights, or experiences would be great!
  

I've come here to see if I can get more perspective to save my marriage. My wife and I are high school sweethearts, and we've been together for about six years now. There's a few major issues she's having, and it finally reached a breaking point about two days ago. She's to the point where she's asked for a divorce, but I begged her to let me try to fix the problems. She's asked me to leave and give her time to think in the meantime.
For a little more context, we're both from NY, and we're two years apart as seen above. When we got together I was wrapping up my senior year of HS and getting ready to head to college, and she was heading into her junior year. For the first two years of the relationship, we were practically long distance. She couldn't be open about being with me because of her home life, but at that point we loved each other already, and we made it work. We both struggled in our childhoods, and have our own mental health struggles, which has led to both of us having major communication issues. Back then it was much worse on both sides, but over time we tried to learn to be better about it. She has definitely grown more than I have in that department, which I didn't realize the true extent of until everything spiraled.
I dropped out of college just before covid started, while she was still in her senior year of high school. I spiraled into a deep depression, but she didn't really see the full extend of it since we spent so little time together still. When we were together, I was so happy to be spending time with her it was like everything was ok. This still put a lot of strain on our relationship, but we loved each other, so it felt like we just powered through. I didn't ask for help like I should have, both from her and from my family. I've always had a very hard time admitting I have issues, and I hurt the people I care about by doing it. I spent the first half of the year like this, until I got a steady job, and the stability helped level me back out. At the end of the year, I convinced her to move out of her parents house for the sake of her mental health. I picked her up and brought her to her best friends house, and she bounced around places to stay for the next couple of months.
She's the hardest working person I've ever met, so she was hitching rides to a restaurant to work while still finishing up her first semester of college. I did what I could to try to support her, but staying with my parents, I couldn't just invite her in to stay. During this time, she reconnected with her family that she had been forced to cut contact with by her mother. This aunt and uncle acted as her mother and father figure growing up, and their daughters are like her sisters. They're both grown up and moved out of the house, so her parents were empty nesters. That is, until they invited us to come stay with them. On a whim, we decided we would move across the country with them to get away from the trauma of the past, and give ourselves an opportunity for a fresh start.
When we first moved, I was having a very hard time. It was the first time I'd been so far from home, about 22-26 hours, and we were both having a hard time finding jobs. It got to the point where I sprialed into another depression. I know it was wrong, but I practically gave up on finding a job, while she got one working for Walgreens. I didn't do much of anything, I was lazy and didn't help around the house. It wasn't expected of me, but it bothered her a lot that I was just taking and taking. It wasn't fair of me to any of them to not try to better our situation, and it definitely put more strain on our relationship than I should have allowed. She was very stressed about getting money together so we didn't have to rely on their help, and I just didn't care like I should have. A few months later, she got me a job at another Walgreens store. I only lasted ~5 months, but I transitioned into my first sales job a few weeks after I quit. This helped us move into our first apartment, but as it was throughout the whole relationship, she was the one who had saved up enough for us to actually do it.
I wouldn't say we ever fight, but we had our first big emotional discussion since we had moved south on our way home from Christmas with her sister in 21. I didn't want to admit it at the time, but I was having a very hard time spending the holidays without my family. I didn't think anything of it, but I was talking down to her basically the whole week we were there. Her family all commented on it to her, and told her she deserved better, which I know she does. We cried so much on that drive home, but she put it all out on the table, and I told her I would be more mindful of how I spoke to her. I never meant to hurt her, but that doesn't excuse the way I was acting. I thought I had gotten better about it, but she told me I still do it to her, and I make her feel like she's lesser than me, even though she's always been the driven one and the provider in our relationship.
Fast forward to this spring year. We haven't had any huge issues since the one I just mentioned, and we've taken big steps in our life. We spent a year in an apartment, and then we bought our first home together just over a year ago. I jumped into the car business from my year in sales at att, and I had gone from earning double what I made at att in 23, to making next to nothing this year. I hit my breaking point, and I quit my job. I thought I could take a week off and collect myself, but being out of a routine spiraled me into a deep depression. This was the worst I've ever been mentally while we've lived together. This put all the burden on her shoulders, both financially and emotionally. She tried her heart out to help me, but I just couldn't admit that something was wrong, the same problem I've had time and time again. This is where she hit her breaking point with me. In her words, she felt helpless seeing me like that, and she grew to resent me for what I put her through and what I was doing. I did remote work for about a week, but I hated it so much it was drastically effecting me. She told me not to worry about it and just quit, but this put more burden back on her shoulders. She had to go back to worrying about me, and me being more depressed. It lasted about a month from me leaving my first car dealership, to me starting at the one I'm currently at.
Now, to where the bomb went off. She spent 2-3 weeks being incredibly distant, and she wouldn't really talk to me. She would make little excuses about not wanting to talk or touch me, and it really started to bother me. But, I was stupid, and I tried to give her space. I finally snapped on Wednesday night, and said she was acting like she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. That was because it was true. She had talked to a therapist, and she said that my wife had disconnected herself from the relationship completely when the resentment grew. All the little things I do wrong became more clear to her. I thought I had gotten better about the way I speak to her, but I still make her feel like less than me, even though she has fought so hard to support us. I don't pull enough weight around the house, even though I felt like I was putting more effort in. I couldn't handle her telling me she thought we should get a divorce, so I got up and said I was going for a drive to calm down. She was terrified I would hurt myself, she still loves me despite everything I've put her through. I got home about an hour later to her pacing outside. We went to sleep in separate rooms that night because I couldn't stop thinking about how awful I felt while I was laying next to her.
The next morning we had a much longer conversation. We both cried and cried, but she told me she thinks we want different things for our future. She wants to bust her ass to be the best at whatever she ends up doing with her college degree, but she feels I'm just coasting. I've been trying to change careers for about six months now, but I've had no real luck outside of finding opportunities at other dealerships. She said she wants kids, which we had agreed for a long time we did not want. We have five dogs, and I got a vasectomy a year and a half ago. I told her I think we should talk to someone about why I don't want kids, I think something snapped in me growing up that changed my mind on the idea. She said it wasn't her problem to figure out why I don't want kids. I begged her to try couples therapy with me, but she said I should have listened to her saying it sooner. I've always had such a hard time opening up to anyone, and the same happened when I tried therapy on my own. I thought it was a waste of time then because of it, and I told her I thought it would just end up the same again. I know that doesn't make it right, but it just hurts so much hearing her saying it like that.
I've had two mental breakdowns over the course of these last few days. The first was on Thursday, while she was asleep. I shaved my head, when I've openly told her several times I hate having my head shaved. I think I did it so I could feel like I was in control of something going wrong in my life, even though it was just a stupid thing to do.she walked in to me sitting on the floor in the bathroom like this, and I ended up crying hysterically in her arms. I just can't believe she wants to leave me when we love each other so much, which she still confirms despite all the things she's said. In that moment, it completely broke me. She was so scared she made me go to the hospital, making her relive past trauma. It wasn't fair for me to put hwr through that, but I completely lost control. By the time I saw a doctor, I had collected myself. I told them what happened, but everything was fine now. I don't know why I thought lying like that would help, but it got me out of the hospital I so desperately didn't want to be in. She dropped me off at home, but she immediately had to head to work. I turned my phone off to ignore all the concerned calls and texts from my family and went to sleep.
I woke up at 4:30 that morning, and I couldn't handle what I was processing from the days before. I got up to get something to drink, but I really just ended up sitting blank faced on the kitchen floor. I bashed my head off one of the cabinets, like I used to do when I was a frustrated child. It woke her up, and she came out to see if I was ok. I had another breakdown when she came out. I told her I was sorry for trying to hurt myself, but it hurt that I did it when I told her I wouldn't. I was able to collect myself this time, but the damage was done. I went to therapy that afternoon, and it honestly helped me a lot when I was able to tell the therapist what had happened. I talked to my wife afterwards, and she said she was proud of me for being able to open up like that for the first time.
Originally we were going to spend the night apart so she could have more time to think, but she changed her mind after my therapy went well. We had another long talk, and she had decided she wants to end things. She wants to be treated better, she wants someone that has more desires for the future, and she doesn't think I could be the father of her children. I'm fighting so God damn hard to get on the path to bettering myself and our relationship, but she's convinced it's too late. I talked her out of divorcing yet, but she wants time to think more about it. She wants me to move back in with my family and show her I'm serious about bettering myself. I'm worried that if I leave, I'll be putting the nail in the coffin. She's the love of my life, how do I save this?
Upon finishing this, I've realized it's way longer than I intended it to be, and it took me an hour and a half to dump all this. If anyone actually reads all this, thank you. I'm sorry if my grammar was awful, I started typing this again 2:30am because I woke up and I couldn't sleep thinking about this.

I’m going to have a week on holiday with my friends this August. Every year we make a vlog out of our adventures and this year, since we are 16 people, I had the idea to make a reality vlog with 2 teams and minigames. What activities can we do? I’d like them also to be good to be seen on screen. We are at the sea

If you're looking for some holiday reading I would recommend picking up the First Knowledges series, the books are standalone or come as a set but you can read them individually or out of order.
Incorporating Indigenous perspectives into curriculum can be difficult and feel tokenistic, but there are loads of new resources emerging which provide culturally sensitive knowledge in an accessible reference. "Indigenous science" has historically been a divisive term and I've seen teachers on here openly deriding and ridiculing the idea of including First Nations knowledge into the science curriculum, I would like to think these books will change their minds (or at the very least provide some dot points they can insincerely add to their 15 year old powerpoints).
I don't want this to sound like an ad, I just think these books are neat. Check them out, or don't, I'm not your mum.

What's up guys
I've traveled all over the US and have lived in quite a few cities, including Denver, Miami, and several mid-sized cities throughout Louisiana and East Tennessee.
I was always amazed by cities growing up. I love the architecture, the sense of community, the food, the energy, the feeling of being part of something bigger than myself.
But the more time I spend in cities, the more I feel like our cities and the communities they're home to are crumbling.
Corporate control and corrupt politicians have made life in the city highly unaffordable. Car-centric design has littered our communities with asphalt, unwalkable streets, and parking lots. New architecture - office buildings and residential alike - has been designed to maximize profits rather than for the enjoyment and use of the people.
It's upsetting to me that we've lost so much of what made American cities and life in the West so great in the past.
So, imagine if we had a chance to reinvent our cities and society as a whole. No politics, no BS, just a fresh start, with all of the technology we have today. What changes could we make to create a better life for ourselves and our next generations? Here's some of my ideas. I hope you enjoy.
Architecture, Construction, and Urban Design:

• Plan the City Ahead of Time as a Digital Model

Let's build a digital model of our next-gen city, based around a state-of-the-art public transportation system, with a clear architectural style. Future residents can propose design changes online.

• Create the Most Livable and Community-Oriented Neighborhoods We Can Imagine

Within our neighborhoods, we'll have walking and bike paths, parks, trees for shade, lighting at night, local businesses and eateries on the ground level, filtered water stations and clean, nice restrooms set throughout. We'll rid our public spaces of advertisements, parking lots, and loud cars and replace it with art, eateries, local business, and effective public transportation.

• Create Better Homes, Apartments, and Complexes

We'll have local business on the ground level of our buildings, a set minimum of restaurant spots built in each neighborhood. Condos and apartments will be equipped with water filtration systems, better air filtration systems, humidity control, zone-specific HVAC control, better sound proofing, and temp-control mattresses in bedroom to improve sleep. The complexes will be designed harmoniously with their surrounding environment in mind - No more balconies overlooking a 4-lane highway. Complexes will have community-spaces (pool deck, garden, gym, community balconies), and larger complexes will have redundant spaces, each assigned to different floors / sections of the complex, so that residents see the same people more and are able to foster community more easily. (It's hard in big complexes - there's so many people)

• Sustainability, Construction, and Decentralization

We could manufacture many of our buildings in a modular fashion outside of the city, for final assembly within the city to minimize construction noise and time. Our current cities are constantly under construction, it's a drag. Construction tools could be redesigned to make less noise, and we can allocate more resources / labor to each project to complete faster. We'll utilize sustainable building materials like CLT where feasible. We can even design architecture to be disassembled and recycled at the end of its life. Disassembly, material sorting, and recycling will be much easier to accomplish down the line with AI. One of our best defenses against tyranny and outside forces is decentralization - Equipping each neighborhood with solar, and creating redundant water systems, online communication systems, etc will create a strong, resilient city.
A New Education System

• One Completely Free Education System

Let's quit putting children in $100s of thousands in debt over education and create one, singular education system that equips both children and returning adults with all of the tools they need to succeed in society. We'll have a core curriculum and then a multitude of different areas that students can pursue based on their passion and current job market conditions. We'll utilize video teaching (like people are doing on YouTube now) and AI simulations to drastically increase retention and course quality. Again we'll teach the basics, like math, scientific method, geography, language and rhetoric, but we'll also teach essentials like how to cook, how to exercise and take care of your body, how to build relationships, how to open a business, how to operate our city's political system, the basics of modern society - basic housing construction, water systems, electricity, our public transportation network. And then once kids start to branch out into their niche, we'll offer courses on specific careers, like construction, urban design, culinary arts, music, engineering, etc. Real, practical, skills all for free in one system.

• Real-Time Job Market Analytics, and Enhanced Student Report Card

We'll tap employers / local businesses into our education system for the sole purpose of making job-market data available to students in real time. Businesses and employers will post their labor needs into the system, and students / parents can make educational path decisions based on real-time data. As students progress and expand their knowledge, their progress will be automatically compiled into an advanced and details student 'report card' which details their expertise, interests, and knowledge rather than pinning them up against other classmates in a GPA system. This will allow employers and parents a much better understanding into student's strengths, passions, and progress.
A (Much) Better Political System
There's a long list of issues with our current political system - only two parties, corporate control, federal overreach, money laundering, massive corruption and human rights violations around the globe. Let's scrap it entirely and create a reddit-like 'community forum' for our city where once every 2-4 years during a limited working-hours political holiday, we come together to discuss policy, issues within our community, new developments and plans, and how we would like to allot our tax money. We'll have a highly secure voting system and make decisions for our community within our community. We can still elect officials, as well as management and development companies for projects and managed systems. These contractors and companies can bid for the communities' business within the forum and we can vote there. Something else we could do is scrap IPO's and instead buy out systems that arise within our community like uber or airbnb and turn them into community assets the same as we've done with education, public transportation, etc. We'll elect / re-elect a management team and these services will become dirt cheap for everyone, instead of being bought out by investors and turned to shit to maximize profits.
Hope y'all enjoyed. Feel free to pick this apart, lol, or add your own ideas! I have a whole journal full of this stuff so if you guys liked it, I'll post some more soon.

Here is an idea, in case the newer players haven't considered it.
However many slots you have for pilot gear, you want the ones with 15% damage. There are also 3 categories for passive skill.
The most ideal is extra damage per wingmen and aircraft shot.

1. Collect gear from the slot machine when you win them.
   
2. Discard all that don't have idea extra damage. Turn them in for towels. (EXCEPT, gear you need for mining: 5% increase tokens collected, 15% increase gold collected, you need a set of that too!)
   
3. Merge your best to silver.
   
4. Repeat until all your silver gear have top damage.
   
5. Merge to gold.
   
6. Use towels to upgrade gold to maximum.
   
7. Save up gems to upgrade to Elite 5.
   

This will take a long time unless you get lucky and win them.
Also, during holiday events, save up your tokens that come from the screen attacker with gear that has 5% increase tokens so you get more. You SHOULD be able to rake in enough for 2, possibly 3 pieces of pilot gear each event to select a piece of equipment from the the token shop. Use those until you find something better, sell them for towels later.
As of right now, I have over 10,000 towels from doing this, don't want or need anymore--ever. I keep looking for the unicorn equipment that has all the right damage. If I can't win it, I'll have to try to merge it together the hard way.
Hopefully that gives you a strategy on how to start getting ideal pilot equipment for max power.
✈️ See you in the skies pilots! ✈️

Hello everyone,
So, I live in a student residence where they have shared rooms. My roommate came around 3 weeks ago . I am an early sleeper, I sleep around 10:30PM. When I want to stay up late, then maybe around 12:00PM I go to bed. But for the past few weeks, I have been on holiday and couldn't go back home so I have been sleeping really late, at around 2:00PM.
With my eyes, doing anything without enough light gives me a headache and makes my eyes really watery. So when it's night time, I switch on the light on my side of the room. She's the 1st roommate I have that sleeps early. But turns out, she can't sleep with any form on light on or noise on, even a small lamp. And I make some noise as I am awake.
I had no idea she couldn't sleep properly for the past few weeks. I didn't realize it was an issue with her cause I'm normally the first to sleep with my previous roommates and I would go to sleep with the lights on since they were using it. I didn't mind cause I can sleep with lights on and moderate noise and vice-versa for them.
She showed no signs that this was bothering her and I thought everything was fine. I am not the most emotionally intelligent person. Most times, unless someone tells me directly that something is wrong, I never have a clue. There was a time, my best friend was upset with me for two days, I didn't notice till she told me.
So when I knew, I wanted to talk with her and figure out if there was anything else that I was doing that bothered her, and to apologize. But she was acting rude imo the whole time. I was trying to explain that I didn't know and that from now on, I'll go back to sleeping early so she can sleep. She was acting like she couldn't hear me the whole time. Then she burst out that I should've known, it's basic respect....... Then I told her not really, I once had a roommate Sarah who spent almost the whole day as listening to music at a very high volume on a speaker. Sarah was a very sweet girl and she assumed I wouldn't mind cause her previous roommate liked that and would sometimes suggest songs. I had to mention I didn't like that and she stopped. So sometimes people don't realise. I really didn't know. All you had to do was tell me, and I would've stopped.
Then she started getting angry and was saying that her feelings are valid and I told her that her feelings are valid, there was never an argument about that, you've not been sleeping properly for a few weeks, of course you're gonna be angry, and I just want to have a conversation with you on it, I am not attacking you. Then I started to apologise to her, saying I'm sorry and I wish I knew earlier, then she stood up and slammed the door. I waited a bit then followed her to still apologise but she told me to leave her alone.
We haven't spoken since and it's been two days. Am I the asshole? what can I do to make the situation better?
Thank you in advance.

Hi everyone
I'm holidaying in Torrance in October (going to a music festival in San Pedro, I'm coming from Australia)
I have no idea about the area, or anything around it. Just sort of booked my festival tickets tickets without much researching 😂 and now have booked accommodation in Torrance because San Pedro accom got snapped up straight away
What would you say are the best things in and around Torrance to see and do? I won't be hiring a car, so will rely on public transport (is it safe and reliable in that area?) Or uber
I like to run. Are there any good running trail/tracks somewhere around there that are worth giving a go? Or running clubs that you know of?
Is the beach any good in October?
TIA

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/blastfromthepast1122 posting in survivinginfidelity
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Short
Original - 23rd May 2019
Update - 6th March 2020
​
Ex wife drops back into my life after 6 years
​
My ex and I met in college and were madly in love all 4 years in school. Got married after graduation in 2010. In 2013 I caught her in a year plus affair with a coworker. I was crushed. She said they loved each other, soulmates, didn’t mean to hurt anyone, blah blah blah.
We divorced only 3 months later. I was crushed. Worst time in my life. I mourned for over a year. I heard they got married. One day I decided I was tired of being sad so I completely let go of her in my heart, got off my butt and truly moved on.
I’m a programmer by profession and decided to take a pre-sales solutions consultant gig with one of the biggest software companies on the planet. That job has been amazing. I’ve traveled the entire world. Every continent and all the major cities. Life has been a great adventure. I never did date seriously or remarry. I’m not opposed to casual dating and have dated beautiful women all over the globe. After my experience with marriage I decided that wasn’t my path and have been happy. Sometimes lonely, especially during holidays, but overall happy.
I had decided enough traveling for a while so I switched roles and am based in a major city in the U.S. I’m sitting in a diner on a Saturday morning eating breakfast and reading the news, Facebook, Reddit, etc. and somebody says “? Oh my God.” The voice sounded like one of my women friends at work so I looked up to say hi and my jaw dropped. It’s my ex wife.
Here I am 2000+ miles away from our old hometown, haven’t seen her in almost 6 years and there she is. I was dumbstruck. All I could manage was “hi.” I hate to say it but she looked beautiful. She said I looked amazing. She asked if I was busy and that she didn’t want to bother me but that she’d love to talk. I said sure. We ended up talking for over two hours and continued for another couple of hours when we went for a walk in a close by park.
We were making small talk about mutual acquaintances, my stories of traveling the globe. Everything but the elephant in the room. She finally asks me if I had gotten remarried at any point. I said no, once was enough. She seemed sad by that.
We walked in silence for maybe a minute and she said “I have to say that I’m so so sorry for what I did to you. You didn’t deserve it. It was incredibly shitty and has haunted me since it happened. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I said you fell in love with someone else and married them. I couldn’t stop you from doing that. I wanted you to be happy. Then I asked are you happy? She laughed one of those joke laughs “Ha!” She told me the OM and her fought constantly and he ended up cheating on her and leaving her two years into marriage.
I said I’m sorry that happened to you. I know how bad that can hurt. She said she knew. That when her heart was broken all she could think of was that she had done the same thing to me and that tortured her. She said she fell apart for almost a year, engaged in very self-destructive behavior, and then went to therapy to figure out why she’s so screwed up. She said that was extremely helpful and several years ago she finally grew up and holds herself accountable for her own actions now.
She had ended up moving to this city because she has an aunt that she loves that lives there and after her second divorce before age 30 she needed to make big changes in her life. The changes were noticeable. She’s definitely more mature. I had to go and get ready for the evening with friends so we said our goodbyes. We exchanged contact info and agreed to go have coffee and talk more.
We have been doing that. We’re both single. I guess there’s no harm. I can tell she wants more from me. She wants me to want her back. She drops hints as big as the Pacific Ocean. I’m not dumb. I have to admit she still has that certain something that just makes my heart skip a beat. Something I can’t describe. Something I hadn’t found in anyone else since her. I guess it’s chemistry between us.
To be honest I want to be more than friends. I want to hold her and kiss her. She wants that too but as of yet I’ve made zero moves.
What holds me back? Fear. I’m afraid of getting hurt again. If she had been a casual girlfriend that dumped me I would have shook it off and moved on quickly. She wasn’t though. She was my wife and the love of my life. I used to dream of her somehow coming back into my life. Well here it is and I’m scared shitless. I don’t know if I can give her that much of myself again. I’m way more protective of my heart now. We’ve both grown a lot and the past seems like a hundred years ago. If she wasn’t who she is I’d already be head over heels in love.
I struggle with do I pursue love with her again or do I leave the past in the past? It sounds cliche but it just had to be her. Of all the people I could have met here it had to be her.
​
Comments
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fatboy-slim
Personally....getting back with an ex is like eating your own vomit. Sagas are never good, remember you got divorced a reason beyond your control. Remember the pain you went through. I believe you are in love with the IDEA of her, and not the reality. 2 divorce’s before 30 is a trend.
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spazzitgoes
I'd keep this as friends only, if that. Who doesn't love romance, but life isn't a romcom. 2 divorces before 30 is a lot of baggage. If he hadn't cheated, they'd still be married - she didn't leave because she still loved you. You only crossed her mind after he did to her what she did to you.
Your life went on a dizzying upward trajectory after the divorce. Hers spiraled down and she lived a depressed, reckless life. She's at the bottom, you're at the top. Why wouldn't she want to be a part of what you have? Despite the problems and therapy one of the best life lessons that never fails is: when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Good luck.
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messythehoe
Despite what a lot of people say - fear is not a bad thing. It’s there for a reason. She was “happily” married to you and then casually fell in love w someone else out of an affair and wasted a year of your life. Falling-in-love w your ex college sweetheart, aka maybe your love of life, sounds like a fairy tail, no? But imagine the literal heartbreak of having your heart in pieces again by the same person who broke it in the first place.

OOP: That is my fear. I don’t think I could survive that a second time. It’s been the most traumatic experience of my life to this point.

​
Ash1221m1328
Tell her that. Tell her that’s what’s holding you back.

OOP: We haven’t gotten to that level of intimacy in conversations yet. We’re tiptoeing around where we are, getting close to the “next level” but I sense she’s as scared as I am. I can see the shame and guilt in her eyes. She senses my fear and hesitation. I think at some point soon we both need to lay our cards on the table and start the conversations we’re both thinking about having but haven’t yet. I do appreciate the advice.

​
Update - 10 months later
​
I’ve gotten so many requests for an update. I have one but was hesitant to post because in this sub I’d take a lot of grief.
The update is we got re-married over the Christmas holidays and we’re now pregnant. She has grown a lot as a person. So have I. We’re not kids anymore. We’re in an adult relationship and it’s much better than before. Throw in the chemistry we’ve always had and it’s wonderful. I couldn’t be happier.
I do want to address the accusations that she tracked me down. She didn’t. She had moved to our current city before I did. She really had moved on, went to therapy, and had grown a lot as a person. I just happened to be in that diner. We think it had to be fate or some type of intervening force. Neither of us are religious but the astronomical odds of us running into each other, both single, and in a city neither of us had ever lived in, are hard to ignore. Obviously the universe had a plan for us.
I wish all of you good luck! My only advice is don’t close your heart. You never know who will stroll into your life.
​
Comments
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lmv123reddit
My friend, the only thing I can say to you is this:
Good luck...hope you know what you doing...
Experience tells me that you are playing with fire.
Well, hope you never need to come back to this sub but it's here if you ever need. May God help you...
​
Datonecatladyukno
My heart says this is beautiful and romantic, my head said this is stupid and foolish. Update is in a year or two op and hopefully we are all wrong
​
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Alright people. Listen, service workers have lives and we aren't doormats! We also don't make the rules. Let me set the scene.

• It is New Years
  
• I made a sign on the door (in all caps) with the hours for the night (as it was a holiday and we all wanted to spend the late night with our families)
  
• You can see the kitchen (everything but the sinks/dishwasher area and walk in freezer) from the terminal (where you order)
  
• Kitchen was closing at 7pm while Bar closed and locked up at 9pm. For that night (IT IS NEW YEARS)
  
• Restaurant is family owned and local, NOT a chain
  

Ok... now, strap in.
I (under 20 F) and my other co worked on the floor (under 20 M) we're having kind of a slow night working, so we start talking and exchanging stories with each other and the kitchen staff. No one is there but us, the bartender, and maybe four or five people at the bar. It is roughly six something, so we have less than an hour before me, the kitchen staff, and the other floor worker went home.
Now, the door opens and in comes a semi-big family. Mostly adults, with some kids, two of the kids in what look like soccer outfits.
This was NOT our Karen. We will get there. But this family is still crucial to the story.
The mom walks up to me (at the register) and looks unsure. I smile and say "Hi! Welcome in! I'm ____" (for the sake of the story we can call my A). The mom (we will call her C because I am saving B for the B), says "I know y'all close at 7 and it is nearly that, but do you think we could order some dinner? The boys just finished their games and we don't have time to make anything."
My mind was blown!! At this point (I had worked their for about 4-5 months I think), I had never heard someone so considerate of me and the and the staff before. Y'all we get treated like crap a lot, as you will see from Karen later. But back to the situation.
"Of course ma'am! It isn't seven yet and I'm sure they have worked up quite an appetite! Plus we haven't begun the closing deep clean, so you are all good."
"Oh thank you! And if you need to kick us out, you can. We will take our food and go."
Y'all! I'm not making this up! This woman was so polite!!
"Don't worry about it! Have your family sit down and I'll take y'all's order! Go ahead and eat here! There is no reason to kick y'all out."
So, she placed an order. A bit on the long side, and left a really generous tip. We service peeps live off tips cause our hourly is so small and our hourly is what is taxed.
Anyway, we make the food. I bring it out. As I walk away after checking on them I hear C say "kids remember to clean up. Cause it isn't their mess. Plus, we want them to have time with their families."
She was too good to be true!!! They laughed and had a good time and left around 7:05. We didn't kick them out. They had cleaned up their trash and been so sweet! Even wishing us all a good night as they left!
Now here we go.
My shift ended around 7:30/7:45 as I had to stay after to clean. So I did. I went about my closing duties.
I restocked the drink station. I restocked cups, lids, straws. I took stock of what is in the back, what we needed more of. I restocked sauces and napkins and salt and pepper. Then onto cleaning. I swept the floors, sanitized the bathroom sink. I got rags and sanatizer and wiped down every table, every chair, every stool (except the occupied bar ones), and every chair. Then the chairs and stools were put up on the tables.
Next, help the kitchen. We scrubbed the grills, turned off the deep friers, and mopped the floor. Next we started packing ingredients to store in the fridge and freezers so as to keep them safe and fresh.
As we are packing the food, the phone rings. "Hello, this is _____. My name is A, how can I help you?"
"Yeah yeah. I'm B. I want to place an order for you to deliver to the bar (about five doors down). I tried to put one in online but it said I couldn't."
"I'm sorry ma'am. Our kitchen is closed. That is why it wouldn't let you."
"But it is only 7:30pm. Y'all don't close until 10pm."
"Normally yes. But it is New Years, so today, our kitchen and food services closed at 7. But our bar is open until 9."
"I know it is New Years, that is why I am at the bar and I want my food."
"Ma'am, our kitchen is closed."
"Ugh fine."
And she hung up. I thought it was over, but I should have known better.
I stayed to help the kitchen staff finish up cleaning so we could all go home. And we all enjoy each others company.
The door opens maybe 10 minutes later. In walks a woman and her husband. Not young, not old. I assume they are headed to the bar, so I continue assisting the kitchen, when I hear someone trying to get my attention.
I turn, and the woman is standing in front of the register. Before I can say anything she speaks. "We spoke over the phone. You said I couldn't get food delivered. So I had to walk myself all the way down here (less than five minute walk). Now I'm here to order."
Excuse me?!
"Ma'am. As I stated over the phone, our kitchen is closed. We aren't serving food anymore tonight."
"Well your door was unlocked. So obviously you are open. And the customer is right."
"Our bar is open for about another hour (plus some change). But our kitchen is closed. You are welcome to get a drink at the bar though--"
"No. I just came from the bar. I don't want your bar drinks. I want food."
This went on for about 15 minutes and I surprised even myself for keeping my cool, customer-service voice and face for this long.
Dang, I wanted to have another C, if anyone. Not this B.
Need I remind you of the cleaning I just did?!
Or when I said you can see the kitchen from the terminal/register?! She can see us packing up!!
Eventually I see my other coworker making hand gestures and mouthing for me to just appease her and take her order. By this point I am past my shift but I can't clock out, cause I couldn't bring myself to do that to the kitchen staff. So I bent. "Alright. What can I get for you?"
"Finally."
This woman proceeds to order at least one item from every portion of the menu. AFTER WE DEEP SCRUBBED AND DEEP CLEANED EVERYTHING!
Then, she leaves no tip, at all.
But it gets worse.
As I turn to help the kitchen staff and apologize, I see her take down chairs I had cleaned and put up from a table (for more than two, she took all the chairs down for that table. Which was one of our bigger tables). She then seats herself there, rather than any of the open bar seats that are not deep cleaned or put up.
I decided to stay and help the kitchen staff as an apology. At this point I have no idea where my co worker is.
I have to help the kitchen staff unpack nearly all the food and redirty nearly every area because of B's order.
Then I brought it out for her and she commented that "That took way too long" or "longer than it should have" and how I was "too slow at my job".
I then proceeded to watch her and her husband spread their trash out, not bother with cleaning spills.
My coworker then came up to me (from wherever he'd been) and apologized. He said I was good to go home now. And he would take care of cleaning the area Karen and her husband were, because I had already cleaned so much.
I didn't say it out loud, but in my head I was like: heck yeah! I cleaned practically everything from top to bottom and left to right! And then this?!
So I agreed. Clocking out, and apologizing to the kitchen staff about five more times.
I texted my mom I was done, and began to head out when I heard B/Karen/WhatsHerFace say "it's their job to clean it", turning I saw a spill.
I mentally pitied my coworker momentarily before letting it go. I had enough of this woman and I was going home for the holiday.
I had stayed an extra half hour to hour because of this woman.
I have never worked New Years again.
Service people (including me) deal with a lot of Karen/B people. Please be more like C. I would have rather served her a million more times, even after shift end time, than serve one more like customer B.
Was I an A-Hole for leaving before everyone else on staff? Or should I have stayed to help clean up after Customer B? Am I an A-Hole for anything in this story?

I've been dating my partner for 4 years and she has 2 daughters in their late teens. I love them, it was a weird dynamic at first because I'm closer to their age than my partner, but we worked it out..
But i'm at a loss on what to do moving forward.. Her parents are Jehovah Witnesses and are well and truly a part of their hall and quite high up. (Does preaches etc).
I have been raised in a nonreligious family and very much used to unconditional love and support. And if you know witnesses, you know that in most cases that is not the case for them.
In the 4 years we have been dating they have no idea I even exist. My partner lives in their investment property, and I live with her now. She also works in their business. When they come over to the house I have to leave and all my belongings get hidden in wardrobes etc. It kills me because home is not home to me.
I do quite well for myself, I'm saving for a house and nearly ready to buy. She's not putting anything in and that's okay. However she probably won't move in with me out of fear she'll lose her income from the parents company because they'll obviously find out about me. I'm at a loss on what to do because if that's the case how can we build a future?
It isn't really an 'if' they cut her off either.. They will, they did it to her due to the last relationship where she had the kids with the ex and they were married too. They kicked her out and cut her off for years. She was disfellowshipped I think it's called by the witnesses.. it was bad. Put it that way. All because he was apart of their group/hall. He was an abusive monster so she eventually filed for divorce... The parents cut her off, pushed her away and even housed the ex even knowing he was an abuser to their daughter. I just can't fathom how a parent could do that to their children, religious or not.
Her answer to all this is marriage... Again.. cause that worked so well last time... She is trying to pressure me into marriage so it's somewhat accepted by them, however I absolutely resent and hate the idea of getting married just to please the family and to be 'accepted.' It angers me so much. If I were to be honest, due to other reasons that I won't dive into, idk if I even would marry her, yet at least.
But here are some other problems that make me struggle to see a future with her.... I want to be semi retired by 50 so I can holiday and live my life, she'll be 65-66 by then. She won't be able to do much. My mum and dad are 12 years apart and have massive dramas, and it scares me.
The living situation, if home can't be home. Then what am I doing? If I get a place and she can't come? What are WE doing?
Marriage.... I resent it because of how it's being forced upon me. It's a hard no.
Kids... I used to say I didn't want any but lately I have been opening up to the idea. A friend asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I said with a family, established and have a house... I can't see that yet with her...
Attention. She's still gorgeous, has definitely started showing the age gap a bit. And it is slowly effecting the affection/attraction levels... So what will I be saying in 5 years...
I love her, I really do. But I can't keep wasting my time or hers if we can't come to a compromise or figure out a plan. I really don't know what to do. And I don't know why I'm posting this, I just need it off my chest and maybe some advice. I really don't know. I want to cry but I can't and I feel so isolated.
We had a chat for a few days about it and I told her I need some time (a few days) so I'm back at my parents figuring out my headspace..

So, I've done this in the past, however, I think I had some bias towards certain types. Because of this, I don't fully believe all what I said was correct, hence why I'm redoing this. I know it takes a great deal of time for people to read through these, so if you're here, I love you. Jokes. I'm just grateful.
How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
I'm a twenty-year-old female. I'm about to switch my major from chemical engineering to something else, still undecided though.
Things I want in a career:

• Get to work with a lot of people,
• Organise large scale projects,
• Developing projects,
• Brainstorming,
• Making connections,
• Marketing,
• Analysing and creating plans,
• Not repetitive,
• Actually interesting.

All throughout high school, I hated the fact I had to stick to one plan since I was always changing what I wanted to do. I can definitely see myself changing multiple careers in my life.
Growing up, I constantly changed the way I acted, and decided various times I wanted to be perceived certain ways. It was often derived from my interests at the time, or characters I had grown to like.
Diagnosis?
None.
Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
My mom's side of the family was religious, so I went to church a few times when I was younger. My grandfather was a priest, so my grandparents were very heavy on the idea. I didn't have any strong connection to it, I felt rather out of place actually when I went to church with them. I only really looked forward to the food, and playing around after the service had ended. I had no idea, or really much of an opinion about it. It is what it is.
From when I was four to seven, I was left alone a lot by my parents. I only saw them on weekends, so naturally I tried to adopt the way they acted, the way they viewed things, so I could be an ideal kid and they would recognise me for it. I did a lot to garner their attention, and I think now, it's become the root reason for why I'm quite a perfectionist. It's humiliating to not be seen as perfect. I often am really harsh on myself, and hate it when I can't do something. In high school, I got a 36/39, and I felt useless. It was that extreme. I felt like nobody should be better than me, and if they are, I was jealous. Actually, I was a very jealous person in general. I was (even know I am) always jealous of something or someone.
What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
Answered this earlier.
If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
I know this question is to work out whether I'm introverted vs. extraverted, so I'll more so focus on that. I grew up alone. I'd be more than happy to spend an entire month by myself. I don't know how I'd react emotionally, but I'm just so used to it. This is why I was so stuck between E or I in the past. The only reason I leant more towards E now, was because I'm more concerned with the external world and get so excited and energized after being with people. I also sometimes feel physically sick around people at times or when engaging in something that feels out of place, it's a mental thing, not sure why though.
What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I've participated in a lot of sports. I remember starting baseball when I was ten, as it was around this time I was looking for a sport to do. It was because I was body shamed a lot that I started looking for a way to get fit. . And the main reason why I played, was because the person I liked at the time also played. How childish of me. Pfft. Anyways, for some reason I continued. I remember thinking of quitting every year, but never did. I became good at it, and felt like I had to continue doing good. My dad also wanted me to play a lot, and I was kind of pressured into a lot of it... but anyways. I also took up basketball, and HATED IT. But my dad kept on signing me up for it even if I didn't really want to. It was mostly my fault, I could never really voice my true opinions or feelings around my parents, so I never really explained how I HATED IT SO MUCH. But oh well.
I'm more attracted to indoor activities, in the aircon, where its nice (I live in a hot place). But I'm also really attracted to outdoor activities. Camping (more glamourized I should mention), kayaking, going to the beach, doing stuff with people who I want to do stuff with.
I hate gardening. Despise it. Never will I do it.
How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I have a lot of ideas. I love creating, planning, analysing and perfecting ideas. To me, I also have to out do everyone and present the best idea all the time, no matter what I do. At times, I've had to bite my tongue when working in groups. I usually critique a lot of peoples ideas, but if someone catches my attention, I'll apply it to my idea so that it can evolve.
I remember in high school, we had to plan a city scape. I had this amazing design, where traffic would be hard to come across due to the way I had positioned everything. I also thought about the placement of parks, where they'll get the best use, etc. Things like that. It was a really fast analysis. But since it was group work, I'm not really assertive or confrontational with my ideas, so it didn't end up exactly as I planned. I also wanted to colour it perfectly, however, that didn't work either, so at that point, I lost much of my interest in the project.
I am also extremely good at problem solving, and using what I have around me. One thing I've noticed, is that I don't pay much mind to the objects around me (at least I don't try to consciously), however, in times of need it's like I have a list of all the things I've noticed and see how they could be useful. They are often inventive solutions as well, using things for something other than their intended purpose, or fitting their purpose to the situation. I have those kinds of ideas.
I've come up with a range of ways people can improve their current ideas, or businesses or schemes that would do extremely well if they were produced the right way. Except, I would only want to be the 'idea man'. I'll have somebody else put it into action for me. I'm quite lazy in that sense.
I don't know what to call this, but I remember my friend telling me she wanted to become a teacher, but she was worried about the competitive hiring culture. I told her to start tutoring now (when we were in high school), then to take a gap year and do teacher aid work at the school whilst then working for a tutoring company and doing any other part-time work (baby sitting) or courses. Then to go through university. Then, she would not only have connections in the tutoring company, and the school, but would most likely out do everyone else in terms of experience. It would be the perfect path to take.
Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I think? But I bite my tongue a lot and hold back on my genuine thoughts as they might be too harsh. As a kid I got chewed out for this, I was often called bossy and as I went through high school I slowly stopped voicing my thoughts as much. I knew my ideas were better, and that pleased me enough.
I also struggle to say no, since I hate feeling awkward with people. That's something that's become more prominent. I might act like some pushover or overtly take precautions around people to ensure they like me and that they only feel positive emotions. It's really awkward for me to annoy someone, or if a random person gets impacted negatively by my actions.
As a kid, I was really good. I did a bunch of extra activities that involved answering questions from a panel of judges. I naturally always took the lead since I knew how to please them or impress them.
Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I'm coordinated with my hands, which stemmed from baseball. I don't particularly gain any enjoyment or excitement from getting to use my hands, it's just something that happened naturally as I played. I am NOT coordinated in my legs. Whatsoever. Started doing volleyball recently, and learnt how to do a three step approach. Could not do it to save the life of me.
Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I was kind of boxed into an 'artistic' type as a kid. I drew a lot when I was really young, and ever since my family kind of formed that stereotype around me. It doesn't exist anymore. Ended when I was around thirteen. But I was good at art. I don't know if it came naturally, all I remember is thinking I HAD to have the best artwork, and therefore, I stopped at nothing to make that happen. I struggled a lot with it though, because I have Aphantasia, meaning I can't visualise things in my mind.
What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
As a kid, I only thought about the future. I would take screenshots on my laptop of apartments and houses in places I wanted to live. I would plan my life in advance, what I'll do, what car, how many pets, kids, the types of lifestyle I'll have, the things I'll do on a daily basis, it was extreme. This was when I was 12-15 as well, so a long way from any of those things.
But now, I struggle a lot to see what will happen to me. What I truly want to do, how I want to live, what kind of life I want, they're all questions I have, but kind of ignore.
I also got stressed a lot in high school with upcoming exams. I would frantically plan what to do way in advance (rarely followed through, mind you) and overtly freak myself out, more than what I needed to.
Regarding the past, I kind of want to forget about the kind of person I was, and all the things I cringe at now. I randomly have moments where I can easily remember in extremely detail my memories, even about the most random details, like a stain on the wall of a hotel we stayed in that was three fingers away from the windowsill. Things like that.
How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
I naturally struggle to say no to the requests of others, so of course I end up helping them.
I can easily get annoyed by my family if they ask me though... whoopsie.
How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
I usually find the fastest way to get something done. I don't want to waste my effort doing something boring. However, I may seem unconventional when doing something I like, or am interested in. In high school, a lot of my assignments weren't by the book. They were done my way. Once we had to do a multimodal presentation, and I made a game, and presented my work that way.
I don't know if this relates to this question, but I would often get annoyed by people who were inefficient, or couldn't think for themselves. Never showed any distaste directly towards them, but it was definitely there.
Productivity? I'm all over the place with this. I go through mood swings. I get really stressed if I haven't done work, however, when I start doing work I get even more stressed and overwhelmed, and feel as if the world is ending. And then I eventually make peace with myself. Then the cycle starts again. But I must say, I am the best procrastinator around.
Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I hate to admit that I'd like to, but as I've grown older I've stopped, not necessarily caring, but just worrying over things like that.
What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I like being shown through an example. After that's done, it's pretty easy for me to fill in the gaps. Once I'm shown how to do it, I can usually work it out on my own. I also remember random things I want to be able to regurgitate to others to seem smart, lol.
For English, I really struggle to do this by myself. I usually search up, or read past examples or pieces of literacy and then formulate my own based on that inspiration.
I liked science, and still do. It was so easy to understand, everything was interconnected within biology, chemistry, physics, they all had overlapping ideas that explained one another. They were also easy to relate to the real world.
I had a love hate relationship with math. I loved that I was good at it, but I hated that it took a lot of studying, or if I ever got a question wrong.
How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I never really broke my assignments up, nor did I ever complete them in an orderly way. I would often get tired or uninspired to continue writing a paragraph, so I let it unfinished and started a new part. Sometimes, I would start at the end, or the middle. It was never structured.
In senior high school, I started creating studying "plans" for maths. I would write in depth plans, but it never worked out, so in the end, I just ended up designating certain questions to certain days, and as long as I completely those questions that day, I felt good. There were times when I skipped a day, and then became overtly stressed.
What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
This is confusing for me, I don't really know my take on this.
What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I have a fear of not being on the ground. Random I know. Once I was in an elevator going to the 30th floor... I had to sit down because I just felt like I wasn't on the ground at all and was in a constantly state of feeling like I was falling. It's odd. Anyways.
I HATE GARDENING GAHHHH. My mom was a green thumb. I hated it. I hated feeling gross, the humidity radiating from the plants felt so gross (it wasn't just a few, it was like a hundred pot plants alone). I also was in charge of moving them whenever we had to mow. It was so boring and distasteful. I HATED IT. I could do indoor plants, little cute plants you give names to, sure. NOT THE FULL ON GREENHOUSE SHE HAD GOING ON. It was disgusting feeling bugs, or as if something was crawling on me. Even dirt in my finger nails. Ew. Though, at times I just sat and played in the mud... quite contradictory, I know.
Ahem. Anyways.
I hate being told how I feel. I hate when people think they know. I remember I felt really annoyed one time at my mom when she told me I was tired. I wasn't tired, but she looked at my with her pitiful eyes and said I was. I felt really uptight around her, because she had this caring side, but then would snap so often it made me feel uncomfortable.
I remember back when I was in high school, I HATED when people wouldn't listen to me just because I was younger. Or they would downplay my ideas because of it. Like, dude, my idea is a Googleplex times better than yours, yet you ignore it? Stuff you man.
What do the "highs" in your life look like? What do the "lows" in your life look like?
I don't really know? It's like a rollercoaster. I can't pinpoint certain moments as such.
How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
It's like a blend of both. At times, I will day dream about what is happening around me, and the various ways certain events could unfold. I'd often think about how I desperately wanted something to happen, and would picture it happening, or would come up with ways for it to happen.
I come up with a lot of scenarios like that in my head.
I also think a lot about random things, and at times can forget about my surroundings, but I've always felt I subconsciously take note of them in my own unique way lol.
Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
Anything and everything. Whatever appears, whatever scenario, idea, etc.
How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
A LONG TIME. I put off making decisions for forever. Often I just go to other people at times, or let others decide.
How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
They're confusing, but also... not? I'd like to think of myself as pretty logical, though at times, it's not like that.
I remember one day at work, everyone was feeling down and moody the entire day. There was no reason for me to be upset, if anything I should have been over the moon with the fact I would be going on holidays the next day... but I went home and cried for some reason. I don't even know why. I think their moodiness rubbed off on me.
I also have caught myself crying at times for some odd reason. I remember I went away to a baseball comp. I had injured my finger, but didn't tell anyone. I tried to show small signs that it hurt, like looking down at it a lot, or purposefully having it on display (in a casual way), since it was bruised. That day wasn't the best for me, I hadn't been playing my best so everything just built up. I remember standing out on the field, holding back tears. I was just sad nobody noticed I think, and thought about if just one person asked if I was okay, I'd be so happy. I played the rest of the day with my finger, which was later found to be broken...
I think I get more emotional when I'm not noticed or found important to other people? Back in high school, I nearly cried because of this, I was so confused.
I find it easier to cry about tv shows, and things of a sort. Ngl, I cried when I read a post about a favourite character of mine that just portrayed how hard it would have been for them to live. A bit TMI I know.
I prefer keeping my emotions to myself, and RARELY outwardly express them. I just don't see the point. You'll rarely catch me angry or crying.
Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
Yes, all the time. I also catch myself pretending I didn't know something so that the discussion can continue, or I'll ask questions I already know the answer too so things don't get awkward. I HATE AWKWARDNESS!
Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I don't think I break rules, if anything I am quite wary of them. My parents were sticklers for rules, so naturally I was pressured to follow them to the highest of standards. I'm a little more easy going now, but the fear of rules is still there lol.
Challenging authority? I suppose if there is a reason to. I mean, it's not like they know better. It just depends on the situation.
I kind of hope you didn't read this all lol, looking back, THERE'S A LOT... so I wouldn't be surprised if this post doesn't get many interactions, but it does mean a lot if you did take the time to read this.
<3 Have an amazing morning, day, afternoon, night, whatever :D

I've been dating my partner for 4 years and she has 2 daughters in their late teens. I love them, it was a weird dynamic at first because I'm closer to their age than my partner, but we worked it out..
But i'm at a loss on what to do moving forward.. Her parents are Jehovah Witnesses and are well and truly a part of their hall and quite high up. (Does preaches etc).
I have been raised in a nonreligious family and very much used to unconditional love and support. And if you know witnesses, you know that in most cases that is not the case for them.
In the 4 years we have been dating they have no idea I even exist. My partner lives in their investment property, and I live with her now. She also works in their business. When they come over to the house I have to leave and all my belongings get hidden in wardrobes etc. It kills me because home is not home to me.
I do quite well for myself, I'm saving for a house and nearly ready to buy. She's not putting anything in and that's okay. However she probably won't move in with me out of fear she'll lose her income from the parents company because they'll obviously find out about me. I'm at a loss on what to do because if that's the case how can we build a future?
It isn't really an 'if' they cut her off either.. They will, they did it to her due to the last relationship where she had the kids with the ex and they were married too. They kicked her out and cut her off for years. She was disfellowshipped I think it's called by the witnesses.. it was bad. Put it that way. All because he was apart of their group/hall. He was an abusive monster so she eventually filed for divorce... The parents cut her off, pushed her away and even housed the ex even knowing he was an abuser to their daughter. I just can't fathom how a parent could do that to their children, religious or not.
Her answer to all this is marriage... Again.. cause that worked so well last time... She is trying to pressure me into marriage so it's somewhat accepted by them, however I absolutely resent and hate the idea of getting married just to please the family and to be 'accepted.' It angers me so much. If I were to be honest, due to other reasons that I won't dive into, idk if I even would marry her, yet at least.
But here are some other problems that make me struggle to see a future with her.... I want to be semi retired by 50 so I can holiday and live my life, she'll be 65-66 by then. She won't be able to do much. My mum and dad are 12 years apart and have massive dramas, and it scares me.
The living situation, if home can't be home. Then what am I doing? If I get a place and she can't come? What are WE doing?
Marriage.... I resent it because of how it's being forced upon me. It's a hard no.
Kids... I used to say I didn't want any but lately I have been opening up to the idea. A friend asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I said with a family, established and have a house... I can't see that yet with her...
Attention. She's still gorgeous, has definitely started showing the age gap a bit. And it is slowly effecting the affection/attraction levels... So what will I be saying in 5 years...
I love her, I really do. But I can't keep wasting my time or hers if we can't come to a compromise or figure out a plan. I really don't know what to do. And I don't know why I'm posting, I just need it off my chest and maybe some advice. I really don't know.
We had a chat for a few days about it and I told her I need some time (a few days) so I'm back at my parents figuring out my headspace..