Moonlight lady episode 1 english
The Fall of the House of Usher - Haunting of Mike Flanagan
2017.04.10 18:32 fleckes The Fall of the House of Usher - Haunting of Mike Flanagan
Discussion, news, theories and fan content focused on the Horror Director and Writer Mike Flanagan. Including S1 (Hill House), S2 (Bly Manor), Midnight Mass, Midnight Club and The Fall of The House of Usher
2018.09.10 21:31 ix0WXOeip4V6 YOU: Netflix Original Series
A subreddit for the former Lifetime, and now Netflix, psychological thriller series YOU based on the novel series by Caroline Kepnes. Anybody is welcome to comment about anything related to the series.
2011.08.06 19:52 relic2279 American Horror Story
Fan subreddit for the hit TV franchise American Horror Story. Visit AmericanHorrorStories for the Hulu exclusive spin-off.
2024.06.01 14:12 Sami_Brah Looking to sell my 3LP urban outfitters exclusive fame monster vinyl.still sealed. £75 shipped to anywhere worldwide. Message if you’re interested!
 | submitted by Sami_Brah to LadyGaga [link] [comments] |
2024.06.01 14:09 Significant_Writer_5 Labels came out wrong
So I’m practicing how to create labels on Microsoft Word but the way it’s coming is weird, it’s not filling up the whole page like it’s suppose to, what am I doing wrong?
submitted by Significant_Writer_5 to MicrosoftWord [link] [comments]
2024.06.01 14:08 ThrowRaTangelo-579 Is it okay Breaking up with bf / fwb M 25 cause he thinks I'm 46 , I'm f 36 ?
Hi I am female (37) been seeing this guy M ( 25) for 2 years now. We started off casually more like a fwb situation. Because of our age gap and I thought he isn't matured enough to be in a committed relationship. But things started changing between us. Even though I maintained that I don't want anything serious and still I see this as a casual relation. But I think he started feeling differently. He became more and more clingy and even though I try not to involve or share much about my life with him, he is the polar opposite. He brings me into his family. His parents, sister, friends know who I am. It was a bit awkward for me at the beginning but later I adjusted with the situation. After 1 year being casual he started insisting to be his gf. I took it jokingly at first and agreed to it ( all light hearted and in my head it's still a joke). But little did I know he was serious. Since that day he wanted to spend more time with me . Here I want to add I have a very busy schedule and I don't have time to be in a bf gf situation. I can only be casual as a nd when needed , as selfish as it might sound thats all I'm in for. I tried creating distance by ghosting him time and time and not meeting up for months. But he is persistent. Even if I don't respond he sends text everyday. He would act all normal even when I respond to his text after few weeks of ghosting. I think I feel a bit sorry for him at times ,and couldn't cut it off completely. Recently I started seeing him again somewhat regularly. And he is fixated at the term that I'm his gf. I'd like to add he is young , tall and handsome. I think he can definitely find a gf of his age . Anyways, to come to the end of my story , yesterday was his birthday. He turned 25. We had a good time and although i told him my age several times before I still casually asked guess how old I am. He hesitated a bit and said 46. I know very well I don't look 46 and that made me furious ( judge away if you want to , but a 37 y/o lady who's always used to hear from everyone that I look late 20s or early 30s this came to me as shock). Then and there I decided this situationship has to end. I straight up told him we are done and I don't want to see him anymore. I can't be with a young dude who thinks he's with a super old 46 y/o lady when actually I'm 37. This gave me a Martha vibe ( from baby reindeer lol). I can't be Martha. So I broke up. Still he's sending me msgs non stop. I'm going to ignore. I can overlook, but then again as I said I'm not Martha. Please give me your point of view reddit. Thanks
submitted by ThrowRaTangelo-579 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2024.06.01 14:07 Exact-Equivalent-424 Thermostat Mind Game
 | Screenshot of question because Reddit won’t let me copy and paste. My question for the Narcs in the room would be: what’s the best approach to getting this outcome without enticing my Narc to be even more cruel and sadistic? submitted by Exact-Equivalent-424 to AskNPD [link] [comments] |
2024.06.01 14:06 MoodyMasturbator So we all gave up on coons, right?
The same way Black passport bros bash Black women on apps like TikTok while having to travel to find women who don't speak English and are in poverty to put up with them...Black gay coons are focused on other Black gay men being "jealous".
I am too intuitive for my own good and know when a guy approaches me for his ego. I turned down a Black guy because he gave me "prefers white" vibes and he had this "I'm a catch, how dare you not want me? I can have any guy I want"
Okay so go get Timothee Chamolet and leave me in peace. He proceeded to call me a crispy burnt monkey. He is darker than me.
You can't "educate" that. You can't rehabilitate that. You can't put him up on Black scholars.He is a lost cause.The same way I gave up on educating white people on racism and microaggressions I am not putting energy into going back and forth with coons. Let them be. There is nothing to be jealous of.
They hinge their identity and security on being with the 1/10 of other races while having tons of standards for us. They don't treat them better. They still abuse and are toxic to them. They are not a prize. You're not missing out.
Focus on who wants you and don't let their evil get to you.
When white men call me slurs I don't respond. I report and go about my day. They want my attention. They need it. Same goes for coons. When they engage you with anti-Blackness, don't get emotional. In person, I look past them. They feel small and invisible not getting a reaction. Don't get pulled into a debate with coons. If they say something ignorant as if they speak for all gay Black men, say your piece for mixed company so they know it doesn't reflect you and move on.
They are just as bad as racists and it's better they show us who they are instead of hiding it.
How to tell? Online, you see it in their likes. In person you see it with how everything is "about race, too political, too woke" and it manifests in misogyny with despising Black women and making Black men a robotic masculine caricature. They will bash hip hop yet act like a rapper chasing "exotic hoes" and put on Black stereotypes when around nonBlack people to "be down". They bottom shame, think lighter skin equals femininity and have double standards and think "ghetto behavior" from other races is passionate not 'animalistic'.
submitted by MoodyMasturbator to AskGayBlackMen [link] [comments]
I am too intuitive for my own good and know when a guy approaches me for his ego. I turned down a Black guy because he gave me "prefers white" vibes and he had this "I'm a catch, how dare you not want me? I can have any guy I want"
Okay so go get Timothee Chamolet and leave me in peace. He proceeded to call me a crispy burnt monkey. He is darker than me.
You can't "educate" that. You can't rehabilitate that. You can't put him up on Black scholars.He is a lost cause.The same way I gave up on educating white people on racism and microaggressions I am not putting energy into going back and forth with coons. Let them be. There is nothing to be jealous of.
They hinge their identity and security on being with the 1/10 of other races while having tons of standards for us. They don't treat them better. They still abuse and are toxic to them. They are not a prize. You're not missing out.
Focus on who wants you and don't let their evil get to you.
When white men call me slurs I don't respond. I report and go about my day. They want my attention. They need it. Same goes for coons. When they engage you with anti-Blackness, don't get emotional. In person, I look past them. They feel small and invisible not getting a reaction. Don't get pulled into a debate with coons. If they say something ignorant as if they speak for all gay Black men, say your piece for mixed company so they know it doesn't reflect you and move on.
They are just as bad as racists and it's better they show us who they are instead of hiding it.
How to tell? Online, you see it in their likes. In person you see it with how everything is "about race, too political, too woke" and it manifests in misogyny with despising Black women and making Black men a robotic masculine caricature. They will bash hip hop yet act like a rapper chasing "exotic hoes" and put on Black stereotypes when around nonBlack people to "be down". They bottom shame, think lighter skin equals femininity and have double standards and think "ghetto behavior" from other races is passionate not 'animalistic'.
2024.06.01 14:06 oogaboogap RAM needed for my modlist
I have quite limited in terms of RAM laptop (6,9 GB), and I want to start new minecraft run with following mods (version 1.19.2 FORGE):
Botania Create Create Ore Excavation* Create Liquid Fuel* Create Stuff and Additions* Create Enchantment Industry* Ars Noveau Ars Creo** Tinker's Construct Tinker's Construct Integrations** Farmer's Delight Create Slice and Dice*/** Iron Chests Xaero's Minimap Expolorer's Compass Nature's Compass
I allocate 5GB of RAM to Minecraft. I set render distance to 6 chunks; I set simulation distance to 6 chunks. The qustion is: will this number of RAM (5GB) and chunk settings (6 chunks) be sufficient for playing with this mods?
*Create addons **Mods providing compability
I must beg for sorry for spelling. English is foreign laguage for me.
submitted by oogaboogap to feedthebeast [link] [comments]
Botania Create Create Ore Excavation* Create Liquid Fuel* Create Stuff and Additions* Create Enchantment Industry* Ars Noveau Ars Creo** Tinker's Construct Tinker's Construct Integrations** Farmer's Delight Create Slice and Dice*/** Iron Chests Xaero's Minimap Expolorer's Compass Nature's Compass
I allocate 5GB of RAM to Minecraft. I set render distance to 6 chunks; I set simulation distance to 6 chunks. The qustion is: will this number of RAM (5GB) and chunk settings (6 chunks) be sufficient for playing with this mods?
*Create addons **Mods providing compability
I must beg for sorry for spelling. English is foreign laguage for me.
2024.06.01 14:05 Klschue Tattoo-a-Day: Season 3, Episode 1
A tattoo from each episode of the IM series
Episode title: Baby Got Back
This is James Danger’s coverup
(This is an elimination tattoo)
submitted by Klschue to Inkmaster [link] [comments]
Episode title: Baby Got Back
This is James Danger’s coverup
(This is an elimination tattoo)
2024.06.01 14:05 ethylenesofie how to get a higher score in trophy race?
 | i feel like every time i play trophy race i lose trophies and it is frustrating to complete the event for returning players to collect trophies. i have no idea how to get a higher score based on whatever map it is, or how to decide what cookie is better than the other, i was wondering if anyone had any advice what the best combi would be for me based on what I have im level 127 and have had the game for a long while but i feel very stuck right now as to what I can do in the game bc of the new update any advice would be appreciated submitted by ethylenesofie to Cookierun [link] [comments] |
2024.06.01 14:05 Dismal_Dragonfly_574 As-salamu alaykum brothers.
So I've been reading that Quran Challenge where ALLAH SWT challenged the whole mankind to produce a single chapter like Quran but the 1st thing that made me curious was these ayahs where ALLAH SWT said
And if you are in doubt concerning what We have sent down to Our servant, then bring a surah like it, and invoke your helpers besides Allah, if you are truthful. Quran 2:23
At this ayah ALLAH SWT challenged that produce a single surah like it but in here they said
Do they say, ‘He has fabricated it?’ Say, ‘Then bring ten surahs like it, fabricated, and invoke whomever you can, besides Allah, should you be truthful. Quran 11:13
But in here ALLAH SWT made the challenge harder and from 1 surah it become to 10 surahs
So my question was why did ALLAH SWT made the challenge harder? While at the Surah Al-Baqara it was only A Single Chapter Challenge but in surah Hud it become 10 Chapters while it is ALLAH SWT words and its absolutely impossible to imitate
I know my question is a bit weird but correct me brothers/sisters
Sorry for the bad english JazakAllah Khair
submitted by Dismal_Dragonfly_574 to islam [link] [comments]
And if you are in doubt concerning what We have sent down to Our servant, then bring a surah like it, and invoke your helpers besides Allah, if you are truthful. Quran 2:23
At this ayah ALLAH SWT challenged that produce a single surah like it but in here they said
Do they say, ‘He has fabricated it?’ Say, ‘Then bring ten surahs like it, fabricated, and invoke whomever you can, besides Allah, should you be truthful. Quran 11:13
But in here ALLAH SWT made the challenge harder and from 1 surah it become to 10 surahs
So my question was why did ALLAH SWT made the challenge harder? While at the Surah Al-Baqara it was only A Single Chapter Challenge but in surah Hud it become 10 Chapters while it is ALLAH SWT words and its absolutely impossible to imitate
I know my question is a bit weird but correct me brothers/sisters
Sorry for the bad english JazakAllah Khair
2024.06.01 14:04 CBrewsterArt Got Roofied. Made a 3D animation about it...
https://reddit.com/link/1d5lhw2/video/70zff80p8y3d1/player
Hey Guy! My name is Conor. I used a Polycam 3D scan .fbx file, a ball i modled in spline to make this. I also used spline to animate this as well with a spin on the room, the ball animated up and down, lights animated to flash. I then exported it in two opposite hues ( the yellow/red one and the blue one ) and then I edited them together, slightly mis-aligning them to give the weird drunk effect.
THe little ball is kinda my trademark so if you see my other socials of the same name you'll see him around in other animations
and a still
submitted by CBrewsterArt to 3danimation [link] [comments]
Hey Guy! My name is Conor. I used a Polycam 3D scan .fbx file, a ball i modled in spline to make this. I also used spline to animate this as well with a spin on the room, the ball animated up and down, lights animated to flash. I then exported it in two opposite hues ( the yellow/red one and the blue one ) and then I edited them together, slightly mis-aligning them to give the weird drunk effect.
THe little ball is kinda my trademark so if you see my other socials of the same name you'll see him around in other animations
I think some douche accidentally roofied me the weekend before last thinking my drink was some girl i was with's drink (can you put ownership on with? IDK I'm not an English major) but this piece was inspired by that.
If you wanna see the full 60fps 4k HD version, i have a FREE GOOGLE DRIVE FULL OF ANIMATIONS that anyone can download an use. It's mostly for DJ's, Bands, Rappers etc. to use as projections at their shows. I like to give them away for free bc I know being an artist & performer is not easy.
Anyway I'd love to know your thoughts? Anyone use the Spline Tool. If not its free, very intuitive to learn and has lots of web integration, game building, and animation capabilities. The export/ renders could be better but the team is always working very hard on adding cool new uypdates. They just added a 3D AI generator into the app a couple weeks ago. Try it out at https://spline.design
Heres a gif of itand a still
2024.06.01 14:04 alleybetwixt This Week In KPOP - June 1, 2024
Welcome to This Week In KPOP, a collection of everything you may have missed during the past week on kpop.
submitted by alleybetwixt to kpop [link] [comments]
May 25, 2024 - May 31, 2024
TOP 10 STORIES
HYBE vs. ADOR
| Votes | Thread | Comments |
|---|---|---|
| (+518) | Megathread 7: HYBE vs. ADOR - Post-Injunction Hearing Statements, Breach of Trust Investigation proceeds, and More | 7580 comments |
| (+443) | Megathread 8: HYBE vs. ADOR - Petitions filed, Injunction ruling and Shareholders' Meeting ahead | 7546 comments |
| (+446) | Min Hee Jin (ADOR CEO) holds a 2nd Press Conference - Live Discussion | 2054 comments |
| (+235) | Megathread 9: HYBE vs. ADOR - Shareholders' Meeting recap, Min Hee Jin Press Conference pt.2, and More | 2717 comments |
TOP ANNIVERSARIES
| # | Votes | Thread | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | (+725) | Happy 9th Anniversary to SEVENTEEN! | 33 comments |
| 2 | (+300) | Happy 7th anniversary to ALICE! | 8 comments |
| 3 | (+265) | Happy 1st Anniversary to BOYNEXTDOOR! | 8 comments |
TOP 10 PERFORMANCES
TOP 5 DANCE CHALLENGES
| # | Votes | Thread | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | (+128) | tripleS Seoyeon & Kotone (with ARTMS Heejin & Choerry) - Girls Never Die (Dance Challenge) (240527) | 2 comments |
| 2 | (+87) | tripleS Jiwoo (with H1-KEY Hwiseo) - Girls Never Die (Dance Challenge) (240528) | 1 comments |
| 3 | (+64) | ME:I Miu (With Kep1er Mashiro) - Click (Dance Challenge) (240524) | 0 comments |
| 4 | (+61) | ARTMS Haseul & Jinsoul (with tripleS Hyerin, Lynn, Hayeon) - Virtual Angel (Dance Challenge) (240531) | 0 comments |
| 5 | (+55) | aespa NINGNING & Girls' Generation (SNSD) HYOYEON - Armageddon (Dance Challenge) (240529) | 3 comments |
TOP DISCUSSIONS / FEATURES
| # | Votes | Thread | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | (+58) | Throwback: VIXX released "ETERNITY" this week in 2014 | 1 comments |
| 2 | (+44) | /kpop Top Ten Tuesdays Results: Seventeen (2024) | 15 comments |
| 3 | (+28) | JTBC Girls On Fire - Episode 7 (Post-Episode Discussion + Preliminary Ranking + Rival Death Match Performances Part 3 + 60-minute Sudden Death Performances + 3rd Elimination) (240528) | 17 comments |
| 4 | (+19) | What Are You Listening To? - May 29, 2024 | 21 comments |
MUSIC SHOWS
| Date | Performances | Discussion Thread | Winner |
|---|---|---|---|
| 20240525 | Music Core | Thread | aespa |
| 20240526 | Inkigayo | Thread | aespa |
| 20240528 | The Show | Thread | ZEROBASEONE |
| 20240529 | Show Champion | Thread | NewJeans |
| 20240530 | M!Countdown | Thread | aespa |
| 20240531 | Music Bank | Thread | NewJeans |
NEW RELEASES
| Day | Artist | Album Title | Type | Music Video | Streaming |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 25th | FL1X | Two Of Us | digital single | Two Of Us | Spotify / Apple Music |
| Gabby Onme | 멸망 Doom | mini album | Diamonds | Spotify / Apple Music | |
| 26th | CATtTRIEVER | Wedding Ceremony | digital single | Ordinary days | |
| Wooseok (PENTAGON), Taka Perry | YOU | digital single | YOU | ||
| 27th | NIKA (ex-BADKIZ Monika) | Easy to please me | digital single | Easy to please me | |
| aespa | Armageddon | full-length album | Supernova / Armageddon | ||
| 28th | Sejin (ex-ANS Lina) | Lean On Me | solo debut digital single | Lean On Me | |
| Taeho (IMFACT) | FOR YOUR BRILLIANT DAY | single album | FOR YOUR BRILLIANT DAY | ||
| YUL2 | Starry night | digital single | Starry night | ||
| Chen (EXO) | DOOR | mini album | Empty | ||
| Jay Park | Jay Park Season 2 | Jay Park Season project single | Taxi Blurr (feat. Natty (KISS OF LIFE)) | ||
| TREASURE | KING KONG | digital single | KING KONG | ||
| 29th | GLAY | whodunit / Share | anniversary single album | whodunit-GLAY x JAY(ENHYPEN)- / Share | |
| JO1 | HITCHHIKER | Japanese single album | Love seeker | ||
| Huh | Swear | digital single | Swear | ||
| Yves (LOONA) | LOOP | solo debut mini album | LOOP | ||
| 30th | UKISS | Beautiful you are | pre-release single | Beautiful you are | |
| WATERFIRE | POSSIBLE | debut single album | POSSIBLE | ||
| 31st | Taeha (ex-Berry Good) | SATELLITE | digital single | SATELLITE | |
| ARTMS | Dall | debut full-length album | Virtual Angel | ||
| ATEEZ | GOLDEN HOUR : Part.1 | mini album | WORK | ||
| A.C.E | Supernatural | special single | Supernatural | ||
| Suho (EXO) | 1 to 3 | mini album | 1 to 3 / Cheese (feat. Wendy (Red Velvet)) | ||
| NEXTU | OOPSY DAISY | debut digital single |
"This Week in KPOP" Archive
2024.06.01 14:03 AdditionalWar8759 Rachel Goes Rogue Podcast: Episode from June 1st, “Chapter 28: Going Rogue Isn’t Easy”
***ads play and podcast starts at 1:47
Intro (Timestamp: 1:47) - Rachel: Welcome back to another episode of Rachel Goes Rogue. This is your host, Rachel Savannah Leviss. Today, we are talking about part three of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. - Rachel: It has finally come to an end, season 11. It's been a long time coming, and we're here to react. I have my producers with me, and as usual, they will be asking me some questions to get my perspective on what we just watched during the reunion.
Well, first of all, I want to start off with asking you just your overall thoughts on the reunion, watching it. How do you feel? (Timestamp: 2:19) - Rachel: Overall, I just feel tired at this point. I don't enjoy watching this show, and (Rachel starts to get emotional) I'm just happy that it's over. It was good that they didn't talk about me very much this last episode, part three. - Rachel: That's great, but it's been really difficult watching each week. And I feel like I can finally start to move on from all of this, because it's been really difficult. It was really heavy and sad. - Rachel: And I think everyone on that cast is struggling. And I would be too if I was there. I mean, I'm struggling just watching it from the sidelines, so I can only imagine what it's like being on that stage.
So you're getting really emotional right now. Where is this emotion coming from? (Timestamp: 3:28) - Rachel: It's coming from a place of feeling like I haven't had much room to go. Feeling like stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. Because this entire time, I have been preparing for them to slander my name, to paint me in the worst light. - Rachel: And my goal with this podcast was to be able to represent myself, to defend myself, to share what I've learned through my time that I took away and my recovery, and just to shed more light on the situation. - Rachel: And it hasn't been easy. It's been an extreme rollercoaster of emotions in a lot of different phases, getting sucked back into it, and then feeling like all consumed by all the comments and everything, and then completely cutting off communication with the outside world and living in my own reality in the moment. It's all about that balance, and it has not been easy to move on. - Rachel: I don't think it's been easy for any of the cast to move on rehashing it and talking about it and having other people tune in. It's not typical. It's not normal. And the day has finally come that the show, season 11, is over, and it's a relief to me because I don't have to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. - Rachel: I don't have to think about what lies they're going to spread about me, and I don't have to think about what I need to defend myself about. And then following week, I feel like I can finally start to live my life again.
And so you're kind of talking about the boundaries that you've been setting by staying away and cutting people off, which obviously boundaries was a really big topic at the reunion. You obviously set some really strong ones by not returning to the show. What's your take on this discussion of boundaries? Do you agree with Lala or do you side more with Ariana when it comes to boundaries when it's in regard to filming the show? (Timestamp: 5:40) - Rachel: I could see both of their points of view. Setting a boundary for yourself is not an easy thing to do. And when other people are upset that you set a boundary for yourself, that's usually a telltale sign that that person is using you in some way and is not happy that you have this new boundary because it's not serving them. - Rachel: So, I can see why Ariana upholded her boundaries by not speaking to Tom, even though she actually did film with Tom this whole season, or for the later part anyway. But she refused to have that conversation with Tom at the end of the show, and I commend her for it because it would have been a fake conversation. You could tell that Tom, his only motive to having that conversation with her is for camera purposes and storyline purposes. - Rachel: Therefore, it's not an authentic conversation. It would have been crocodile tears, the whole thing. And I completely understand Ariana walking away. I walked away too, and people weren't happy about that either. - Rachel: For Lala's point of view, I can understand her perspective in wanting to have a good TV show for her livelihood and the longevity of her career. If you're going to commit to filming, then I can see why Lala is upset, because you are not only committing to filming with this person, I can see her point in that she is living under the same roof as Tom. - Rachel: They're living together, they're filming together, yet in Lala's eyes, Ariana is being stubborn by not filming with Tom, or that one scene. Who even cares about that one scene? I don't know. - Rachel: It's all so silly to me, but boundaries are important. I was in a place where I didn't have boundaries, and I was really trying to appease production and put on a good show. That became my priority season 10.
And where do you think the line needs to be drawn, you know? When at the end of the day, this is a paycheck and this is a job, versus this is someone's real life. You've talked a lot about wanting to live in reality. Where do you think that line should be drawn? (Timestamp: 8:32) - Rachel: I think that's an impossible question to answer when you're filming a reality TV show, because the line is so blurry, it's impossible to know what's real and what's not. And the more I'm out of it, the clearer I can see that. We see it with Tom Sandoval when he talked about production. - Rachel: He did the New York Times article, and he stopped talking mid sentence when a plane flew over or a truck drove by, whatever it was, because the audio, typically when we're filming a show and a plane flies by, you stop talking so that the audio can pick up normally without the distraction in the background. - Rachel: So it's like programmed in your mind to think a certain way, to act a certain way, to talk a certain way, to pursue certain things, where it becomes a part of your patterning. We also see the lines get blurred with Scheana and the comment section, and what is real life and what is not, what is her own true motivation for doing certain things, and what is influenced by outside commentary. - Rachel: That gets so blurry, and when you're all consumed in the perception of yourself, how can you really be sure that you're operating from a place of an inner knowing? That's a boundary that's blurred. With Lala, she clearly prioritizes the success of the show because she wants to secure her paycheck, and when people are setting boundaries for themselves and it's conflicting with what she wants and what is successful in her eyes, that sparks an anger within her. - Rachel: And it's all fabricated to a certain point because the bottom line is this show. So, I think it truly is impossible to live a real life and be on a reality TV show.
So, do you think it's fair for Lala to direct that anger towards Ariana? Or do you think she should be directing it more towards the show? (Timestamp: 11:12) - Rachel: Oh, no, not at all. I don't think that it's fair that Lala is directing that anger towards Ariana because Ariana has been very clear with her boundaries since the very beginning and…
I guess if she's feeling this way, do you think maybe she should have upheld her boundaries more if she was feeling so resentful towards someone doing the same? Do you think she's feeling like she regrets things that she had said in the past? (Timestamp: 11:35) - Rachel: I think she did uphold her boundaries. I think that she feels like she hasn't been supported the same way that Ariana is being supported. And it's probably not a good feeling, but she maneuvered differently than Ariana has. And Lala doesn't extend the same empathy towards others. So it's harder to support her, I believe.
She does make a point to say, many times, that she feels like things are not being honest on camera. She points out Tom and Ariana’s relationship being one of those things. Katie has a flashback moment where she also calls it out. Do you agree that things are not always honest on camera? (Timestamp: 12:12) - Rachel: Totally. Yeah. I think the point that Lala is making is that Tom and Ariana haven't been honest about their relationship on camera. - Rachel: And I think people are getting caught up in Lala being hypocritical because she wasn't honest about her relationship with Randall. Okay, yes, that might be true. But the point is that Tom and Ariana haven't been good for quite some time. - Rachel: And their relationship that was portrayed on camera for fans to see was not an accurate representation of their relationship. I see the frustration because I agree with that too.
Even on your part, how does it affect you as someone on the show when people aren't fully honest on camera? How does that affect the rest of the cast? (Timestamp: 13:21) - Rachel: Yeah, it affects everyone when people aren't fully honest on the show. I mean, I wasn't fully honest the season 10 reunion. I was still covering up for Tom Schwartz. - Rachel: I was still covering up for Tom Sandoval. I was still going along with that narrative, and it would have been much better to just be open and honest about it. But of course, Tom was like, no, that wouldn't be good for business. - Rachel: It wouldn't be good for Schwartz and Sandys if people knew that the Schwartz kiss wasn't authentic and we need that to seem real. So it does affect everyone when you're not being honest, because it portrays a certain picture that isn't reality, and the whole point of reality TV supposedly is to be real, following these real people's lives. - Rachel: So honesty would be like the most important value characteristic you would think that everyone on this show should have. But it seems like nobody does.
Well, speaking of honesty, Ariana kind of called out Tom and his motives behind wanting to apologize on camera. He finally does get that moment during the reunion to apologize to Ariana. He has some words when he does, he calls the affair something he regrets every day. He says that he wears it like a badge of shame. On your end, how did that feel watching that? (Timestamp: 14:46) - Rachel: It's hard to tell if Tom is being honest or not. Even in the Secrets Revealed episode, when he was asked how many girls he had sex with since me, and he had to pause and think about if he was going to be honest or not, he's just been caught in so many lies that it's hard to tell if he's being truthful. - Rachel: But hearing Tom say that he regrets getting involved with me every single day, I regret it too, so it is a little bit painful, but it's also like maybe something is registering for him. - Rachel: I don't know. But then again, his actions speak a lot louder than his words. He knows what words to say, and then it seems that he fails to follow through with meaningful action. And that's where true amends come into play.
There was just, I feel like, a lot of pain in the room all around. You kind of acknowledged that at the beginning of this episode. What do you think that this pain, and even Lala saying that she was okay seeing some of those friendships end, what do you think that means for the future of this group? (Timestamp: 16:07) - Rachel: I don't see much of the future for this group. It looks pretty shattered. It looks like these friendships are not healthy friendships. - Rachel: The dynamic between Lala and Scheana is not a healthy dynamic. It seems to be like a power imbalance. It seems like Scheana is trying to appease Lala to make sure she's secure, and she's getting certain needs met in that friendship because Ariana hasn't been around for Scheana the way that she's used to. - Rachel: Yeah, you could tell that Scheana’s struggling with coping with that. It seems like Lala's really on a wavelength of not effing with anybody on the cast right now. It seems like her friendship with Katie isn't strong because Katie's gotten really close with Ariana. - Rachel: It seems like even her friendship with Scheana is a little rocky. I think she sees Scheana as someone that's not...How do I want to say this? - Rachel: And I hate saying this word, because I don't want to like categorize somebody as something, especially because I've been called this before too. But I think seeing how Lala reacted to everything and how Scheana was trying to be the fixer and appease Lala, and it just didn't seem like enough for Lala. I think Lala sees Scheana as someone who is weak, perceived weakness. - Rachel: I'm not saying that Scheana is weak. And I think that there's a lot of alliances and manipulation happening, and none of that is healthy for our friendship dynamic. I can see why the show is taking a hiatus, because it just seems so fractured
Well, it definitely seems like at the very end of the episode, Scheana was very sure to get that last word in. I felt like she was looking directly at Lala and almost begging for her to hear her out that she was on her side. And it really did seem like the very end, Scheana had to choose. Is she Team Ariana or Team Lala? Do you think she made the right choice? Do you think she needed to make a choice, or do you think that she's putting this pressure on herself? (Timestamp: 18:21) - Rachel: Ooh, that's a good question. I think she feels a lot of pressure from the outside perspective, and she doesn't want to, obviously, like burn bridges with Ariana or anything. And I think Ariana has been very gracious towards Scheana. Do I think that she needed to choose sides? I don't think so. I don't know. - Rachel: I can see Lala's frustration probably because I'm sure Sheena and Lala have had conversations about the whole situation. And without Ariana there, I'm sure Sheena's singing a much different tune than what we're hearing at the reunion, and that's sparking some frustration in Lala. And I'm sure that was a similar feeling when she called out Katie about it too. - Rachel: So yeah, I think that Lala feels pretty isolated, I want to say, in her feelings. And now that it's aired, and I did check Reddit for the first time in a very, very long time, it seems like the majority of people are hating on Lala right now. I'm human. - Rachel: I do hold some resentment towards Lala for the way that she's treated me over the years. I do empathize with her a little bit because all the hate online is just a little bit ridiculous. And I think also people are afraid to speak a differing opinion than the team Ariana side because people are just ruthless online and they don't want to hear a differing opinion. - Rachel: And if you do, then you get shunned out, too. It's very, my therapist calls it tribal shaming, where if you're not following the rules of the tribe, spoken or unspoken, then you're cast out and you're shunned.
***ads play and podcast resumes at 23:24
I mean, it does feel like the fans have had more of an impact on this season than ever. Would you agree with that? (Timestamp: 23:24) - Rachel: Yeah, especially because as they were filming this show, the fans were boots on the ground. We're going to production, we're going to filming, and we're going to take photos and document what we saw and all that stuff. Like it was very interactive in a way. - Rachel: I think with after show this year, it was a little bit different because some things have changed since the ending of filming last summer. One of the things was me starting my own podcast and speaking freely about my experience and my opinion and the after show gave the cast an opportunity to rebut what I was saying and it provided more of a context. - Rachel: And I think with more time passing from the end of filming last summer to, you know, early January, February of this year, when they filmed the after shows, cast dynamics shifted because as we all know, now watching the finale, Lala and Ariana did not end on a good note whatsoever. - Rachel: And so, you know, she had some choice of words to say during the after shows. And it seemed like she really got Sheena to support her with that.
Speaking about the fracturing of this cast, something about her did recently open. Not many cast members were in attendance to this opening. What's your take on that? (Timestamp: 24:56) - Rachel: Interesting. Do you know who went? - iHeart Lady: I know Schwartz went - Rachel: It seems a little telling that maybe Sheena and Lala aren't on the best terms with Ariana right now, because they went to like the Broadway opening that Ariana did for Chicago. And they also went to Dancing with the Stars. But this is all before they knew that she didn't watch the show. And so that was all before the reunion and everything. So yeah, it seems like maybe they're not on the best of terms right now.
What are your thoughts on production holding the last five minutes until the reunion to show to everyone? (Timestamp: 25:47) - Rachel: I wonder if they got word that Ariana wasn't watching the season. And they did that as a way to ensure that they would get a reaction from her, kind of like forcing her hand a little bit, forcing her into a situation that she did not want to be in. It was very strategic in that way. And it was something new. Like, we've never done that before. It was creative, for sure, on production's part.
Do you think it was fair to Ariana? (Timestamp: 26:27) - Rachel: There's a commitment, and part of that is watching the show and having an opinion on what's happening besides your own story that you're sharing. So in a way, it's like ensuring that Ariana did have an opinion on it. So very eye opening, to say the least.
I want your take on Tom's final words. He says, I love it. It's good for me. A lot of people in the room were very shocked by that. Tom even has a reaction to it, where he shakes his head no. They didn't even really press him on what he meant by that either. What's your take on all of that? (Timestamp: 26:49) - Rachel: I wish they pressed him on what he meant by that a little bit more. And Ariana was pretty much the only person that called him out on it too. She caught it. - Rachel: She was like, that exactly proves my point, that you are doing things for the audience, for the production value, and for his own story purposes. I guess in Tom's eyes, having Ariana refuse to film and walk off was good for him because he felt like he completed his job and fulfilled his duty with what production was asking from him. And Ariana was not. - Rachel: And I think selfishly, he probably thought that it would give him a better chance of having more of a redemption story. - Rachel: Because, ultimately, production is the one picking and choosing what they're going to share on the show and edit and put certain music behind certain scenes to make it seem even more of a certain way. Tom knows how to play into that. But I would have loved to hear what his explanation for that comment would be.
Why do you think they didn't press him? (Timestamp: 28:34) - Rachel: I think that they're protecting him, like they always have been.
We did see something interesting at the very end with Lisa stepping up and taking Ariana's side, which is kind of a different tune. You've talked about this before, where she seems to protect the guys a lot of the time, but then she changes her tune at the very end of the episode and takes Ariana's side. What are your thoughts on that? (Timestamp: 28:39) - Rachel: I think Lisa is very strategic with what she puts out there as well. And she knows what people are saying about her, with her always supporting the guys. So that could have been a motivation behind her changing her tune and supporting Ariana in that way. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard because I think also Lisa is very aware of who the fan favorites are. It's her show. - Rachel: She's an executive producer on this show. So she's not a dummy when it's coming to that. I think it helps her if she is supporting Ariana because she'll praise Ariana for walking away and end up holding her boundaries. - Rachel: But then when it comes to me, I don't even remember what she said about me. But when it comes to me walking away and setting a boundary for myself, I've been told that I'm a coward and I'm running away from my problems. - Rachel: So that part for me gets a little frustrating because it's like, and also the fans praising Ariana for upholding her boundaries and walking away and supporting her and telling her like, you know, she's outgrown this show. - Rachel: She should move on and do something even better with her life. And she's finding out now that these aren't her true friends and like good for her for upholding her boundaries and walking away from this situation. And I've done the same thing and it has been met with scrutiny.
Lala compares her situation with Randall to Ariana a lot throughout this reunion. Do you think the two are similar at all? (Timestamp: 30:37) - Rachel: I don't think that the relationship that Lala had with Randall is comparable to the situation that Tom and Ariana were in. It's hard to get on Lala's side with some of the things that she's saying, because the way that she spoke about her relationship with Randall is like bragging about doing BJs for PJs and getting gifted a Range Rover very early in their relationship and not being honest about who she was seeing and the situation that was happening basically. And it just seemed like she was in it for the money and like to secure her success and fame. - Rachel: So it's hard to get behind that, especially when she's been so outright about it. Unfortunately, Randall wasn't the stand up guy that she was selling him to be. We weren't buying it. - Rachel: In Ariana's case, viewers got to see that relationship develop over the years, whereas with Lala's, he wasn't around, like it was secret for a while. And, you know, it's harder to develop feelings towards a person or a relationship when you're not seeing it play out on camera. I think Lala has a lot of anger, maybe even towards herself, for the situation that she allowed herself to be in. And I think she might be taking that out on Ariana.
How hard is it to be really honest when you're in this position? And do you think certain cast members have an easier time doing this? (Timestamp: 32:22) - Rachel: So this is like where your own values come in. Like, are you an honest person or are you not? Because there are people in this cast that are not, and we know who they are, and they have no problem lying, and it doesn't bother them when they lie. - Rachel: And for me, I'm working towards living a more authentic, honest life. And part of that is being honest with my emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and expressing that, and doing that in a way that is still respectful, because I'm not trying to hurt people in the process. And I am trying to express myself honestly and be true to myself. - Rachel: So I think it just depends on who you're asking. I mean, it's definitely not easy. It's definitely hard because you're on this platform, this public arena where you're opening yourself up to scrutiny. - Rachel: And if other people have differing opinions than you do, or if your opinion is the minority, you're basically going to be harassed and scrutinized. And so sometimes for people, it's easier to not be fully honest with their thoughts and feelings in order to save face or in order to go with more popular opinion because it's perceived to be safer that way. But I don't know. - Rachel: At this point, it's like your words aren't going to hurt me. You can say whatever you want to say about me online, and I've survived this far. So whatever else you say about me is not going to affect me any more than it already has. - Rachel: I've developed thick skin through this process, and I've come to the point where I value my friendships that are real in the sense of I interact with these people in real life. I care more about people's perception of me when they actually meet me and interact with me and the vibes I give off that way. So you get to a certain point where it's almost your duty to show up for yourself and be honest with how you feel and how you think about a certain thing in that moment. - Rachel: And your opinions can change with time too and with more information. It's not like I'm going to say this one thing and I'm always going to feel this way. It's always changing, it's always developing, we're always getting more information, and we're always experiencing new things that change our perspective on life. - Rachel: So it's just your duty to represent yourself in the most authentic way so that your people will find you.
***ads play and podcast resumes at 38:08
Well, I think there was one kind of shining moment, I'll say, even though it was a really emotional moment. But the moment between, and this is a little bit of a pivot, but the moment between Schwartz and Katie, I found really interesting, where Andy was asking about their relationship. It seemed like this season, they had a little bit more of a playful dynamic. But Schwartz gets really emotional, saying that he doesn't regret how their relationship ended. But you can kind of see in his eyes that he tears well up. He gets really emotional. What did you make of that moment? (Timestamp: 38:08) - Rachel: We don't think we've really seen a moment like that between Tom, Schwartz, and Katie. It really seems like they've come to terms with how the relationship ended, and that it was for the best. But it seemed like there was a lot of fond memories and just appreciation for one another, that I don't think I've really seen that dynamic between them before. - iHeart Lady: To me, it seemed like in a season where there was a lot of hurt, that seemed like the one moment of maybe seeing two people that are going through the process of healing. - Rachel: Viewing that, it did seem like they were both coming from a place of healing, because they weren't throwing insults at each other or trying to bring each other down. It was very respecting one another and appreciating the moments that they did have together while it lasted. And that's refreshing to see on this show.
Lala said something at the very end where she said it was really hard for her to show up to season nine reunion, I believe it was. You know, she didn't want to talk about certain things, but she showed up. Ariana said the same thing where she could say the same about the season 10 reunion. She didn't want to be there. You could probably say the same thing about the season 10 reunion. You didn't want to be there as well. Is it fair to say everyone's been in a position where they didn't want to be somewhere, but they did anyway? (Timestamp: 39:44) - Rachel: 100%. Yeah, totally. And that's like the part of committing to this show. It's a commitment. And even though you don't quite know what you're signing up for, you know that it's not going to be necessarily easy. And there's a challenge in that. - Rachel: And I think, just speaking for myself, there was an opportunity for growth for me in that. Yeah, I think we've all been in a situation where we didn't want to show up for something and felt, I don't think obligated is the right word, but we made a commitment to being there, and we followed through with our commitment. And it's hard.
You started this episode off by acknowledging that there was a lot of healing that this cast needs to do. As someone who has taken a step back from filming, you've had this time to kind of come back to your own reality. What can this cast expect when you have that moment to kind of breathe and have that separation and you rejoin reality for a minute? (Timestamp: 41:07) - Rachel: Oh, okay. That is a loaded question. Because I think that there's a little bit of fear with not being the current topic of conversation. - Rachel: I think addiction is the wrong word, but there's a little bit of the dopamine hits that you get when you're being talked about on a reality TV show and the fear of that going away permanently could be a scary thing. But taking time off and re-centering with yourself, I think is like the best thing for this cast right now, because we don't want to be forced into situations that we don't want to be in. That's not living an authentic life. - Rachel: I mean, I've been worrying about scenes and storylines, and I haven't even been a part of this show, but now it feels good not to worry about that. And I do have to say, just like reading all the comments on Reddit right now, it's like hardly anybody is talking about me, which is a great feeling. It's just so much more freeing when you're not living your life for somebody else's entertainment anymore. - Rachel: It just feels like you get your life back a little bit. It's so complex, and I think it's hard to understand if you haven't been through being on a TV show for millions of people to comment on and judge your life. I don't think humans are meant for that, and there's no way that that's healthy. - Rachel: Yeah, I said that I think the cast, we have a lot of healing to do. We, as in, I still do too, and part of that is coming back to reality. And I really don't think that we've had a minute this whole season. I think it's going to be good for everyone.
Has this year though felt different to you? I feel like you're like half in, half out (Timestamp: 43:42) - Rachel: Oh, yeah, it's felt so different. But I think like a large part of that has to do with going to the meadows and really reconnecting with myself and learning about my issues and how it was showing up for me and really coming to terms with like, what is this piece of external validation and how is that motivating me? And is it even real? - Rachel: And just like really re centering back into myself and gaining a lot more perspective with that. Without the meadows, I would not be where I am right now. There's no freaking way. So it is. I'm living a new life. I really am. - Rachel: And I feel like I haven't really been able to truly have the opportunity to live my new life to the fullest because this show has been holding me back. And I know that that's partially my fault too because I'm indulging and speaking about it, but I'm really looking forward to the days when I can truly move forward and evolve into something even more magnificent.
Outro (Timestamp: 45:02) - Rachel: Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive video content at Rachel Goes Rogue Podcast.
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Intro (Timestamp: 1:47) - Rachel: Welcome back to another episode of Rachel Goes Rogue. This is your host, Rachel Savannah Leviss. Today, we are talking about part three of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. - Rachel: It has finally come to an end, season 11. It's been a long time coming, and we're here to react. I have my producers with me, and as usual, they will be asking me some questions to get my perspective on what we just watched during the reunion.
Well, first of all, I want to start off with asking you just your overall thoughts on the reunion, watching it. How do you feel? (Timestamp: 2:19) - Rachel: Overall, I just feel tired at this point. I don't enjoy watching this show, and (Rachel starts to get emotional) I'm just happy that it's over. It was good that they didn't talk about me very much this last episode, part three. - Rachel: That's great, but it's been really difficult watching each week. And I feel like I can finally start to move on from all of this, because it's been really difficult. It was really heavy and sad. - Rachel: And I think everyone on that cast is struggling. And I would be too if I was there. I mean, I'm struggling just watching it from the sidelines, so I can only imagine what it's like being on that stage.
So you're getting really emotional right now. Where is this emotion coming from? (Timestamp: 3:28) - Rachel: It's coming from a place of feeling like I haven't had much room to go. Feeling like stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. Because this entire time, I have been preparing for them to slander my name, to paint me in the worst light. - Rachel: And my goal with this podcast was to be able to represent myself, to defend myself, to share what I've learned through my time that I took away and my recovery, and just to shed more light on the situation. - Rachel: And it hasn't been easy. It's been an extreme rollercoaster of emotions in a lot of different phases, getting sucked back into it, and then feeling like all consumed by all the comments and everything, and then completely cutting off communication with the outside world and living in my own reality in the moment. It's all about that balance, and it has not been easy to move on. - Rachel: I don't think it's been easy for any of the cast to move on rehashing it and talking about it and having other people tune in. It's not typical. It's not normal. And the day has finally come that the show, season 11, is over, and it's a relief to me because I don't have to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. - Rachel: I don't have to think about what lies they're going to spread about me, and I don't have to think about what I need to defend myself about. And then following week, I feel like I can finally start to live my life again.
And so you're kind of talking about the boundaries that you've been setting by staying away and cutting people off, which obviously boundaries was a really big topic at the reunion. You obviously set some really strong ones by not returning to the show. What's your take on this discussion of boundaries? Do you agree with Lala or do you side more with Ariana when it comes to boundaries when it's in regard to filming the show? (Timestamp: 5:40) - Rachel: I could see both of their points of view. Setting a boundary for yourself is not an easy thing to do. And when other people are upset that you set a boundary for yourself, that's usually a telltale sign that that person is using you in some way and is not happy that you have this new boundary because it's not serving them. - Rachel: So, I can see why Ariana upholded her boundaries by not speaking to Tom, even though she actually did film with Tom this whole season, or for the later part anyway. But she refused to have that conversation with Tom at the end of the show, and I commend her for it because it would have been a fake conversation. You could tell that Tom, his only motive to having that conversation with her is for camera purposes and storyline purposes. - Rachel: Therefore, it's not an authentic conversation. It would have been crocodile tears, the whole thing. And I completely understand Ariana walking away. I walked away too, and people weren't happy about that either. - Rachel: For Lala's point of view, I can understand her perspective in wanting to have a good TV show for her livelihood and the longevity of her career. If you're going to commit to filming, then I can see why Lala is upset, because you are not only committing to filming with this person, I can see her point in that she is living under the same roof as Tom. - Rachel: They're living together, they're filming together, yet in Lala's eyes, Ariana is being stubborn by not filming with Tom, or that one scene. Who even cares about that one scene? I don't know. - Rachel: It's all so silly to me, but boundaries are important. I was in a place where I didn't have boundaries, and I was really trying to appease production and put on a good show. That became my priority season 10.
And where do you think the line needs to be drawn, you know? When at the end of the day, this is a paycheck and this is a job, versus this is someone's real life. You've talked a lot about wanting to live in reality. Where do you think that line should be drawn? (Timestamp: 8:32) - Rachel: I think that's an impossible question to answer when you're filming a reality TV show, because the line is so blurry, it's impossible to know what's real and what's not. And the more I'm out of it, the clearer I can see that. We see it with Tom Sandoval when he talked about production. - Rachel: He did the New York Times article, and he stopped talking mid sentence when a plane flew over or a truck drove by, whatever it was, because the audio, typically when we're filming a show and a plane flies by, you stop talking so that the audio can pick up normally without the distraction in the background. - Rachel: So it's like programmed in your mind to think a certain way, to act a certain way, to talk a certain way, to pursue certain things, where it becomes a part of your patterning. We also see the lines get blurred with Scheana and the comment section, and what is real life and what is not, what is her own true motivation for doing certain things, and what is influenced by outside commentary. - Rachel: That gets so blurry, and when you're all consumed in the perception of yourself, how can you really be sure that you're operating from a place of an inner knowing? That's a boundary that's blurred. With Lala, she clearly prioritizes the success of the show because she wants to secure her paycheck, and when people are setting boundaries for themselves and it's conflicting with what she wants and what is successful in her eyes, that sparks an anger within her. - Rachel: And it's all fabricated to a certain point because the bottom line is this show. So, I think it truly is impossible to live a real life and be on a reality TV show.
So, do you think it's fair for Lala to direct that anger towards Ariana? Or do you think she should be directing it more towards the show? (Timestamp: 11:12) - Rachel: Oh, no, not at all. I don't think that it's fair that Lala is directing that anger towards Ariana because Ariana has been very clear with her boundaries since the very beginning and…
I guess if she's feeling this way, do you think maybe she should have upheld her boundaries more if she was feeling so resentful towards someone doing the same? Do you think she's feeling like she regrets things that she had said in the past? (Timestamp: 11:35) - Rachel: I think she did uphold her boundaries. I think that she feels like she hasn't been supported the same way that Ariana is being supported. And it's probably not a good feeling, but she maneuvered differently than Ariana has. And Lala doesn't extend the same empathy towards others. So it's harder to support her, I believe.
She does make a point to say, many times, that she feels like things are not being honest on camera. She points out Tom and Ariana’s relationship being one of those things. Katie has a flashback moment where she also calls it out. Do you agree that things are not always honest on camera? (Timestamp: 12:12) - Rachel: Totally. Yeah. I think the point that Lala is making is that Tom and Ariana haven't been honest about their relationship on camera. - Rachel: And I think people are getting caught up in Lala being hypocritical because she wasn't honest about her relationship with Randall. Okay, yes, that might be true. But the point is that Tom and Ariana haven't been good for quite some time. - Rachel: And their relationship that was portrayed on camera for fans to see was not an accurate representation of their relationship. I see the frustration because I agree with that too.
Even on your part, how does it affect you as someone on the show when people aren't fully honest on camera? How does that affect the rest of the cast? (Timestamp: 13:21) - Rachel: Yeah, it affects everyone when people aren't fully honest on the show. I mean, I wasn't fully honest the season 10 reunion. I was still covering up for Tom Schwartz. - Rachel: I was still covering up for Tom Sandoval. I was still going along with that narrative, and it would have been much better to just be open and honest about it. But of course, Tom was like, no, that wouldn't be good for business. - Rachel: It wouldn't be good for Schwartz and Sandys if people knew that the Schwartz kiss wasn't authentic and we need that to seem real. So it does affect everyone when you're not being honest, because it portrays a certain picture that isn't reality, and the whole point of reality TV supposedly is to be real, following these real people's lives. - Rachel: So honesty would be like the most important value characteristic you would think that everyone on this show should have. But it seems like nobody does.
Well, speaking of honesty, Ariana kind of called out Tom and his motives behind wanting to apologize on camera. He finally does get that moment during the reunion to apologize to Ariana. He has some words when he does, he calls the affair something he regrets every day. He says that he wears it like a badge of shame. On your end, how did that feel watching that? (Timestamp: 14:46) - Rachel: It's hard to tell if Tom is being honest or not. Even in the Secrets Revealed episode, when he was asked how many girls he had sex with since me, and he had to pause and think about if he was going to be honest or not, he's just been caught in so many lies that it's hard to tell if he's being truthful. - Rachel: But hearing Tom say that he regrets getting involved with me every single day, I regret it too, so it is a little bit painful, but it's also like maybe something is registering for him. - Rachel: I don't know. But then again, his actions speak a lot louder than his words. He knows what words to say, and then it seems that he fails to follow through with meaningful action. And that's where true amends come into play.
There was just, I feel like, a lot of pain in the room all around. You kind of acknowledged that at the beginning of this episode. What do you think that this pain, and even Lala saying that she was okay seeing some of those friendships end, what do you think that means for the future of this group? (Timestamp: 16:07) - Rachel: I don't see much of the future for this group. It looks pretty shattered. It looks like these friendships are not healthy friendships. - Rachel: The dynamic between Lala and Scheana is not a healthy dynamic. It seems to be like a power imbalance. It seems like Scheana is trying to appease Lala to make sure she's secure, and she's getting certain needs met in that friendship because Ariana hasn't been around for Scheana the way that she's used to. - Rachel: Yeah, you could tell that Scheana’s struggling with coping with that. It seems like Lala's really on a wavelength of not effing with anybody on the cast right now. It seems like her friendship with Katie isn't strong because Katie's gotten really close with Ariana. - Rachel: It seems like even her friendship with Scheana is a little rocky. I think she sees Scheana as someone that's not...How do I want to say this? - Rachel: And I hate saying this word, because I don't want to like categorize somebody as something, especially because I've been called this before too. But I think seeing how Lala reacted to everything and how Scheana was trying to be the fixer and appease Lala, and it just didn't seem like enough for Lala. I think Lala sees Scheana as someone who is weak, perceived weakness. - Rachel: I'm not saying that Scheana is weak. And I think that there's a lot of alliances and manipulation happening, and none of that is healthy for our friendship dynamic. I can see why the show is taking a hiatus, because it just seems so fractured
Well, it definitely seems like at the very end of the episode, Scheana was very sure to get that last word in. I felt like she was looking directly at Lala and almost begging for her to hear her out that she was on her side. And it really did seem like the very end, Scheana had to choose. Is she Team Ariana or Team Lala? Do you think she made the right choice? Do you think she needed to make a choice, or do you think that she's putting this pressure on herself? (Timestamp: 18:21) - Rachel: Ooh, that's a good question. I think she feels a lot of pressure from the outside perspective, and she doesn't want to, obviously, like burn bridges with Ariana or anything. And I think Ariana has been very gracious towards Scheana. Do I think that she needed to choose sides? I don't think so. I don't know. - Rachel: I can see Lala's frustration probably because I'm sure Sheena and Lala have had conversations about the whole situation. And without Ariana there, I'm sure Sheena's singing a much different tune than what we're hearing at the reunion, and that's sparking some frustration in Lala. And I'm sure that was a similar feeling when she called out Katie about it too. - Rachel: So yeah, I think that Lala feels pretty isolated, I want to say, in her feelings. And now that it's aired, and I did check Reddit for the first time in a very, very long time, it seems like the majority of people are hating on Lala right now. I'm human. - Rachel: I do hold some resentment towards Lala for the way that she's treated me over the years. I do empathize with her a little bit because all the hate online is just a little bit ridiculous. And I think also people are afraid to speak a differing opinion than the team Ariana side because people are just ruthless online and they don't want to hear a differing opinion. - Rachel: And if you do, then you get shunned out, too. It's very, my therapist calls it tribal shaming, where if you're not following the rules of the tribe, spoken or unspoken, then you're cast out and you're shunned.
***ads play and podcast resumes at 23:24
I mean, it does feel like the fans have had more of an impact on this season than ever. Would you agree with that? (Timestamp: 23:24) - Rachel: Yeah, especially because as they were filming this show, the fans were boots on the ground. We're going to production, we're going to filming, and we're going to take photos and document what we saw and all that stuff. Like it was very interactive in a way. - Rachel: I think with after show this year, it was a little bit different because some things have changed since the ending of filming last summer. One of the things was me starting my own podcast and speaking freely about my experience and my opinion and the after show gave the cast an opportunity to rebut what I was saying and it provided more of a context. - Rachel: And I think with more time passing from the end of filming last summer to, you know, early January, February of this year, when they filmed the after shows, cast dynamics shifted because as we all know, now watching the finale, Lala and Ariana did not end on a good note whatsoever. - Rachel: And so, you know, she had some choice of words to say during the after shows. And it seemed like she really got Sheena to support her with that.
Speaking about the fracturing of this cast, something about her did recently open. Not many cast members were in attendance to this opening. What's your take on that? (Timestamp: 24:56) - Rachel: Interesting. Do you know who went? - iHeart Lady: I know Schwartz went - Rachel: It seems a little telling that maybe Sheena and Lala aren't on the best terms with Ariana right now, because they went to like the Broadway opening that Ariana did for Chicago. And they also went to Dancing with the Stars. But this is all before they knew that she didn't watch the show. And so that was all before the reunion and everything. So yeah, it seems like maybe they're not on the best of terms right now.
What are your thoughts on production holding the last five minutes until the reunion to show to everyone? (Timestamp: 25:47) - Rachel: I wonder if they got word that Ariana wasn't watching the season. And they did that as a way to ensure that they would get a reaction from her, kind of like forcing her hand a little bit, forcing her into a situation that she did not want to be in. It was very strategic in that way. And it was something new. Like, we've never done that before. It was creative, for sure, on production's part.
Do you think it was fair to Ariana? (Timestamp: 26:27) - Rachel: There's a commitment, and part of that is watching the show and having an opinion on what's happening besides your own story that you're sharing. So in a way, it's like ensuring that Ariana did have an opinion on it. So very eye opening, to say the least.
I want your take on Tom's final words. He says, I love it. It's good for me. A lot of people in the room were very shocked by that. Tom even has a reaction to it, where he shakes his head no. They didn't even really press him on what he meant by that either. What's your take on all of that? (Timestamp: 26:49) - Rachel: I wish they pressed him on what he meant by that a little bit more. And Ariana was pretty much the only person that called him out on it too. She caught it. - Rachel: She was like, that exactly proves my point, that you are doing things for the audience, for the production value, and for his own story purposes. I guess in Tom's eyes, having Ariana refuse to film and walk off was good for him because he felt like he completed his job and fulfilled his duty with what production was asking from him. And Ariana was not. - Rachel: And I think selfishly, he probably thought that it would give him a better chance of having more of a redemption story. - Rachel: Because, ultimately, production is the one picking and choosing what they're going to share on the show and edit and put certain music behind certain scenes to make it seem even more of a certain way. Tom knows how to play into that. But I would have loved to hear what his explanation for that comment would be.
Why do you think they didn't press him? (Timestamp: 28:34) - Rachel: I think that they're protecting him, like they always have been.
We did see something interesting at the very end with Lisa stepping up and taking Ariana's side, which is kind of a different tune. You've talked about this before, where she seems to protect the guys a lot of the time, but then she changes her tune at the very end of the episode and takes Ariana's side. What are your thoughts on that? (Timestamp: 28:39) - Rachel: I think Lisa is very strategic with what she puts out there as well. And she knows what people are saying about her, with her always supporting the guys. So that could have been a motivation behind her changing her tune and supporting Ariana in that way. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard because I think also Lisa is very aware of who the fan favorites are. It's her show. - Rachel: She's an executive producer on this show. So she's not a dummy when it's coming to that. I think it helps her if she is supporting Ariana because she'll praise Ariana for walking away and end up holding her boundaries. - Rachel: But then when it comes to me, I don't even remember what she said about me. But when it comes to me walking away and setting a boundary for myself, I've been told that I'm a coward and I'm running away from my problems. - Rachel: So that part for me gets a little frustrating because it's like, and also the fans praising Ariana for upholding her boundaries and walking away and supporting her and telling her like, you know, she's outgrown this show. - Rachel: She should move on and do something even better with her life. And she's finding out now that these aren't her true friends and like good for her for upholding her boundaries and walking away from this situation. And I've done the same thing and it has been met with scrutiny.
Lala compares her situation with Randall to Ariana a lot throughout this reunion. Do you think the two are similar at all? (Timestamp: 30:37) - Rachel: I don't think that the relationship that Lala had with Randall is comparable to the situation that Tom and Ariana were in. It's hard to get on Lala's side with some of the things that she's saying, because the way that she spoke about her relationship with Randall is like bragging about doing BJs for PJs and getting gifted a Range Rover very early in their relationship and not being honest about who she was seeing and the situation that was happening basically. And it just seemed like she was in it for the money and like to secure her success and fame. - Rachel: So it's hard to get behind that, especially when she's been so outright about it. Unfortunately, Randall wasn't the stand up guy that she was selling him to be. We weren't buying it. - Rachel: In Ariana's case, viewers got to see that relationship develop over the years, whereas with Lala's, he wasn't around, like it was secret for a while. And, you know, it's harder to develop feelings towards a person or a relationship when you're not seeing it play out on camera. I think Lala has a lot of anger, maybe even towards herself, for the situation that she allowed herself to be in. And I think she might be taking that out on Ariana.
How hard is it to be really honest when you're in this position? And do you think certain cast members have an easier time doing this? (Timestamp: 32:22) - Rachel: So this is like where your own values come in. Like, are you an honest person or are you not? Because there are people in this cast that are not, and we know who they are, and they have no problem lying, and it doesn't bother them when they lie. - Rachel: And for me, I'm working towards living a more authentic, honest life. And part of that is being honest with my emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and expressing that, and doing that in a way that is still respectful, because I'm not trying to hurt people in the process. And I am trying to express myself honestly and be true to myself. - Rachel: So I think it just depends on who you're asking. I mean, it's definitely not easy. It's definitely hard because you're on this platform, this public arena where you're opening yourself up to scrutiny. - Rachel: And if other people have differing opinions than you do, or if your opinion is the minority, you're basically going to be harassed and scrutinized. And so sometimes for people, it's easier to not be fully honest with their thoughts and feelings in order to save face or in order to go with more popular opinion because it's perceived to be safer that way. But I don't know. - Rachel: At this point, it's like your words aren't going to hurt me. You can say whatever you want to say about me online, and I've survived this far. So whatever else you say about me is not going to affect me any more than it already has. - Rachel: I've developed thick skin through this process, and I've come to the point where I value my friendships that are real in the sense of I interact with these people in real life. I care more about people's perception of me when they actually meet me and interact with me and the vibes I give off that way. So you get to a certain point where it's almost your duty to show up for yourself and be honest with how you feel and how you think about a certain thing in that moment. - Rachel: And your opinions can change with time too and with more information. It's not like I'm going to say this one thing and I'm always going to feel this way. It's always changing, it's always developing, we're always getting more information, and we're always experiencing new things that change our perspective on life. - Rachel: So it's just your duty to represent yourself in the most authentic way so that your people will find you.
***ads play and podcast resumes at 38:08
Well, I think there was one kind of shining moment, I'll say, even though it was a really emotional moment. But the moment between, and this is a little bit of a pivot, but the moment between Schwartz and Katie, I found really interesting, where Andy was asking about their relationship. It seemed like this season, they had a little bit more of a playful dynamic. But Schwartz gets really emotional, saying that he doesn't regret how their relationship ended. But you can kind of see in his eyes that he tears well up. He gets really emotional. What did you make of that moment? (Timestamp: 38:08) - Rachel: We don't think we've really seen a moment like that between Tom, Schwartz, and Katie. It really seems like they've come to terms with how the relationship ended, and that it was for the best. But it seemed like there was a lot of fond memories and just appreciation for one another, that I don't think I've really seen that dynamic between them before. - iHeart Lady: To me, it seemed like in a season where there was a lot of hurt, that seemed like the one moment of maybe seeing two people that are going through the process of healing. - Rachel: Viewing that, it did seem like they were both coming from a place of healing, because they weren't throwing insults at each other or trying to bring each other down. It was very respecting one another and appreciating the moments that they did have together while it lasted. And that's refreshing to see on this show.
Lala said something at the very end where she said it was really hard for her to show up to season nine reunion, I believe it was. You know, she didn't want to talk about certain things, but she showed up. Ariana said the same thing where she could say the same about the season 10 reunion. She didn't want to be there. You could probably say the same thing about the season 10 reunion. You didn't want to be there as well. Is it fair to say everyone's been in a position where they didn't want to be somewhere, but they did anyway? (Timestamp: 39:44) - Rachel: 100%. Yeah, totally. And that's like the part of committing to this show. It's a commitment. And even though you don't quite know what you're signing up for, you know that it's not going to be necessarily easy. And there's a challenge in that. - Rachel: And I think, just speaking for myself, there was an opportunity for growth for me in that. Yeah, I think we've all been in a situation where we didn't want to show up for something and felt, I don't think obligated is the right word, but we made a commitment to being there, and we followed through with our commitment. And it's hard.
You started this episode off by acknowledging that there was a lot of healing that this cast needs to do. As someone who has taken a step back from filming, you've had this time to kind of come back to your own reality. What can this cast expect when you have that moment to kind of breathe and have that separation and you rejoin reality for a minute? (Timestamp: 41:07) - Rachel: Oh, okay. That is a loaded question. Because I think that there's a little bit of fear with not being the current topic of conversation. - Rachel: I think addiction is the wrong word, but there's a little bit of the dopamine hits that you get when you're being talked about on a reality TV show and the fear of that going away permanently could be a scary thing. But taking time off and re-centering with yourself, I think is like the best thing for this cast right now, because we don't want to be forced into situations that we don't want to be in. That's not living an authentic life. - Rachel: I mean, I've been worrying about scenes and storylines, and I haven't even been a part of this show, but now it feels good not to worry about that. And I do have to say, just like reading all the comments on Reddit right now, it's like hardly anybody is talking about me, which is a great feeling. It's just so much more freeing when you're not living your life for somebody else's entertainment anymore. - Rachel: It just feels like you get your life back a little bit. It's so complex, and I think it's hard to understand if you haven't been through being on a TV show for millions of people to comment on and judge your life. I don't think humans are meant for that, and there's no way that that's healthy. - Rachel: Yeah, I said that I think the cast, we have a lot of healing to do. We, as in, I still do too, and part of that is coming back to reality. And I really don't think that we've had a minute this whole season. I think it's going to be good for everyone.
Has this year though felt different to you? I feel like you're like half in, half out (Timestamp: 43:42) - Rachel: Oh, yeah, it's felt so different. But I think like a large part of that has to do with going to the meadows and really reconnecting with myself and learning about my issues and how it was showing up for me and really coming to terms with like, what is this piece of external validation and how is that motivating me? And is it even real? - Rachel: And just like really re centering back into myself and gaining a lot more perspective with that. Without the meadows, I would not be where I am right now. There's no freaking way. So it is. I'm living a new life. I really am. - Rachel: And I feel like I haven't really been able to truly have the opportunity to live my new life to the fullest because this show has been holding me back. And I know that that's partially my fault too because I'm indulging and speaking about it, but I'm really looking forward to the days when I can truly move forward and evolve into something even more magnificent.
Outro (Timestamp: 45:02) - Rachel: Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive video content at Rachel Goes Rogue Podcast.
***end
2024.06.01 14:01 Secret-Property5498 Breaking free from your narcissistic parent as an adult child (long)
Hello Dr. K and the HealthyGamer community,
I am seeking advice, support, and insights on how to emotionally separate and individuate from my parents later in life, which I should have done much earlier. The adult part of me knows what I need to do, but there's also a part of me that is frightened. Let me give you a snapshot of my life trajectory. The story is long, but I want to provide as much context as possible. If you prefer a short summary of my dilemma, please skip to the last paragraph. Otherwise, here is my life story:
I grew up in a well-to-do family in an East Asian country. My parents had me in their early 20s, just as their business began to flourish during the 'boom years.' Both came from very broken families. My mother experienced poverty, abuse, and neglect from her parents (she did not speak to her dad until he died and almost never acknowledges her mother). My father was the least favorite child in his family of three, dropped out of high school, ended up on the streets, and, as I learned a few years ago, was later imprisoned for fighting. My parents met when my mother was 19 and my father 21, ran away together, and built a very successful business in their early to mid-20s, becoming incredibly wealthy in a generally poor society.
Although we were affluent, my parents were never around. I started boarding at age 3 and spent most of my time outside school with my paternal grandparents and occasionally my maternal grandmother. My parents fought a lot. My mother once threatened to take me away and drove off with me with no specific destination. At one point, she told me she was divorcing my father, and we moved into another apartment for a day before returning home. She emotionally smothered me, saying she would die for me and that no one would love me as much as she did. She also hit me often over small things, sometimes in public. I thought she was better than my father, who, according to her, would remarry quickly if she left or died, subjecting me to abuse from an evil stepmother.
Despite our wealth, my mother took me out of an international school after six months and sent me to a state school known for being strict and militant. I was a 'good, smart kid' in primary school, but around age 12 or 13, I became very depressed and felt life had no purpose. I failed almost all my subjects except History and started drinking, influenced by my father's heavy drinking and a culture that tolerated alcoholism.
Then something happened that saved me in retrospect. My family emigrated to an Anglophone New World country, and I went to another boarding school. Despite experiencing racism and feeling self-conscious about my appearance, I improved academically and, by years 12 and 13, was among the best students. Between ages 13-18, I saw my father rarely, perhaps once or twice a year. My mother visited periodically, and they bought a house near the school, where I lived mostly alone. Like many first-generation immigrant kids, I handled most family matters because my parents couldn't speak English.
When it was time for university, I wanted to study law and politics at the local public university, but my father insisted I go to the UK or the US, believing a degree from the local university would not lead to a good job. He also prevented me from taking a gap year. I regret not leaving home to get a job. I applied to many universities and chose the worst-ranked one in London because I wanted to be in the city.
University was eye-opening. I discovered Europe and realized the world was much bigger than the conformist, conservative East Asian country and backwater suburbs I knew. However, my degree didn't prepare me for life, and my emotionally underdeveloped state made me miserable in adult relationships. I chose emotionally distant or abusive friends, hurt people who liked me, and did no internships or travel because I was expected to help my family during holidays. I wanted to stay in London, looked for random jobs, but had no life skills or work experience. Eventually, I returned to East Asia.
By then, my father had moved to a more cosmopolitan East Asian city, living extravagantly. I interned at a fancy company for almost a year, hoping for a job offer that never came. I soon found a job in brand consulting and finally started earning money at 23. I had a relationship with an older woman, but I was still emotionally detached. I tried freelancing, learned to impress others, and almost made enough to support myself, but I was fundamentally lost and unhappy. I experienced my first depressive episode and decided to return to London for a Master's degree. My father agreed to fund my education.
That year was the happiest of my life. I loved university, research, and being with smart, nerdy people. I met an intelligent, caring, and beautiful woman, and we moved in together. I discovered more fulfilling ways to live and found that success didn't mean working for an investment bank or being rich. I wanted to be an academic, applied for a PhD, and got in after two attempts.
Academia wasn't all rosy. The work conditions were awful, and the publish-or-perish mentality sucked the joy out of research. I loved teaching but quickly learned it mattered little at a 'research university.' I gained weight, my relationship deteriorated, arguments turned physical, and I felt worthless. The pandemic made things worse, and I felt I needed to radically change my life. My solution was to become the person my family wanted: filial, loyal, and rich. I was ready to abandon my life in London and move back to East Asia to 'stop being a loser.'
I returned home, trying to fix my family and shower them with love. I interned at a VC firm, but it clashed with my values, and I cried every day at work. I broke up with my girlfriend for someone with no emotional attachment, leading to great sex but zero intimacy. Within three months, I was broke, living in a short-term rental, and eating unhealthily. Fortunately, I had a therapist, a good friend in Shanghai, and my girlfriend gave me a second chance. I realized my family's emotional neglect contributed to my unhappiness and depression. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and medicated, which helped me move out of paralysis. I confronted my family about their past actions and my diagnosis. My mother reacted poorly, calling me names and accusing me of being a horrible son. This ordeal made me realize I needed to break away from them. What I threw away in London was actually the most valuable: a career, a family, my identity.
After confronting my mother that year, she vowed never to see me again. However, 6-8 months later, she sent me a large sum of money for my birthday. I let her back into my life, partly for financial help but also seeking proof of their love and acceptance. Things improved initially, but soon she started complaining about mistreatment by my partner. Then, my parents promised to buy me a flat and pressured me to get married. I accepted the flat for stability and freedom, ignoring their past behavior. Predictably, the flat became a tool for my mother to control me. She threatened to sue me if my girlfriend moved in and disputed the flat's ownership just weeks before the move-in date. I have a demanding job and spend much of my day dealing with this situation, processing the emotional toll of my mother's actions. I feel unsafe, violated, and confused. I hear a voice telling me this is all my fault and that I'm too weak. I know what I need to do cognitively, but emotionally I'm paralyzed. Do you understand what I mean? What would you do?
submitted by Secret-Property5498 to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]
I am seeking advice, support, and insights on how to emotionally separate and individuate from my parents later in life, which I should have done much earlier. The adult part of me knows what I need to do, but there's also a part of me that is frightened. Let me give you a snapshot of my life trajectory. The story is long, but I want to provide as much context as possible. If you prefer a short summary of my dilemma, please skip to the last paragraph. Otherwise, here is my life story:
I grew up in a well-to-do family in an East Asian country. My parents had me in their early 20s, just as their business began to flourish during the 'boom years.' Both came from very broken families. My mother experienced poverty, abuse, and neglect from her parents (she did not speak to her dad until he died and almost never acknowledges her mother). My father was the least favorite child in his family of three, dropped out of high school, ended up on the streets, and, as I learned a few years ago, was later imprisoned for fighting. My parents met when my mother was 19 and my father 21, ran away together, and built a very successful business in their early to mid-20s, becoming incredibly wealthy in a generally poor society.
Although we were affluent, my parents were never around. I started boarding at age 3 and spent most of my time outside school with my paternal grandparents and occasionally my maternal grandmother. My parents fought a lot. My mother once threatened to take me away and drove off with me with no specific destination. At one point, she told me she was divorcing my father, and we moved into another apartment for a day before returning home. She emotionally smothered me, saying she would die for me and that no one would love me as much as she did. She also hit me often over small things, sometimes in public. I thought she was better than my father, who, according to her, would remarry quickly if she left or died, subjecting me to abuse from an evil stepmother.
Despite our wealth, my mother took me out of an international school after six months and sent me to a state school known for being strict and militant. I was a 'good, smart kid' in primary school, but around age 12 or 13, I became very depressed and felt life had no purpose. I failed almost all my subjects except History and started drinking, influenced by my father's heavy drinking and a culture that tolerated alcoholism.
Then something happened that saved me in retrospect. My family emigrated to an Anglophone New World country, and I went to another boarding school. Despite experiencing racism and feeling self-conscious about my appearance, I improved academically and, by years 12 and 13, was among the best students. Between ages 13-18, I saw my father rarely, perhaps once or twice a year. My mother visited periodically, and they bought a house near the school, where I lived mostly alone. Like many first-generation immigrant kids, I handled most family matters because my parents couldn't speak English.
When it was time for university, I wanted to study law and politics at the local public university, but my father insisted I go to the UK or the US, believing a degree from the local university would not lead to a good job. He also prevented me from taking a gap year. I regret not leaving home to get a job. I applied to many universities and chose the worst-ranked one in London because I wanted to be in the city.
University was eye-opening. I discovered Europe and realized the world was much bigger than the conformist, conservative East Asian country and backwater suburbs I knew. However, my degree didn't prepare me for life, and my emotionally underdeveloped state made me miserable in adult relationships. I chose emotionally distant or abusive friends, hurt people who liked me, and did no internships or travel because I was expected to help my family during holidays. I wanted to stay in London, looked for random jobs, but had no life skills or work experience. Eventually, I returned to East Asia.
By then, my father had moved to a more cosmopolitan East Asian city, living extravagantly. I interned at a fancy company for almost a year, hoping for a job offer that never came. I soon found a job in brand consulting and finally started earning money at 23. I had a relationship with an older woman, but I was still emotionally detached. I tried freelancing, learned to impress others, and almost made enough to support myself, but I was fundamentally lost and unhappy. I experienced my first depressive episode and decided to return to London for a Master's degree. My father agreed to fund my education.
That year was the happiest of my life. I loved university, research, and being with smart, nerdy people. I met an intelligent, caring, and beautiful woman, and we moved in together. I discovered more fulfilling ways to live and found that success didn't mean working for an investment bank or being rich. I wanted to be an academic, applied for a PhD, and got in after two attempts.
Academia wasn't all rosy. The work conditions were awful, and the publish-or-perish mentality sucked the joy out of research. I loved teaching but quickly learned it mattered little at a 'research university.' I gained weight, my relationship deteriorated, arguments turned physical, and I felt worthless. The pandemic made things worse, and I felt I needed to radically change my life. My solution was to become the person my family wanted: filial, loyal, and rich. I was ready to abandon my life in London and move back to East Asia to 'stop being a loser.'
I returned home, trying to fix my family and shower them with love. I interned at a VC firm, but it clashed with my values, and I cried every day at work. I broke up with my girlfriend for someone with no emotional attachment, leading to great sex but zero intimacy. Within three months, I was broke, living in a short-term rental, and eating unhealthily. Fortunately, I had a therapist, a good friend in Shanghai, and my girlfriend gave me a second chance. I realized my family's emotional neglect contributed to my unhappiness and depression. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and medicated, which helped me move out of paralysis. I confronted my family about their past actions and my diagnosis. My mother reacted poorly, calling me names and accusing me of being a horrible son. This ordeal made me realize I needed to break away from them. What I threw away in London was actually the most valuable: a career, a family, my identity.
After confronting my mother that year, she vowed never to see me again. However, 6-8 months later, she sent me a large sum of money for my birthday. I let her back into my life, partly for financial help but also seeking proof of their love and acceptance. Things improved initially, but soon she started complaining about mistreatment by my partner. Then, my parents promised to buy me a flat and pressured me to get married. I accepted the flat for stability and freedom, ignoring their past behavior. Predictably, the flat became a tool for my mother to control me. She threatened to sue me if my girlfriend moved in and disputed the flat's ownership just weeks before the move-in date. I have a demanding job and spend much of my day dealing with this situation, processing the emotional toll of my mother's actions. I feel unsafe, violated, and confused. I hear a voice telling me this is all my fault and that I'm too weak. I know what I need to do cognitively, but emotionally I'm paralyzed. Do you understand what I mean? What would you do?
2024.06.01 14:00 sharewithme Word of The Hour: communicate
English: communicate
Translations
Join our new Discord Server for language learners @ https://wordofthehour.org/discord
submitted by sharewithme to Word_of_The_Hour [link] [comments]
- to share in common
- to impart; to bestow
- to make known; to recount
Translations
- Catalan: comunica
- Chinese: 交流
- Esperanto: komunikas
- French: communique
- Galician: comunica
- German: kommunizieren
- Hindi: व्यक्त कर
- Portuguese: comunicar
- Romanian: a comunica
- Spanish: comunica
- Swedish: överför
- Welsh: cymuno
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2024.06.01 14:00 AnActualCriminal EON Polls/Discussion; Worlds, War Crimes, and Gods (Kind of a serious /uw one at the end)
 | EON submitted by AnActualCriminal to wizardposting [link] [comments] Hello. Blake here. Not really a politician but since Ithacar holds the seat and not Riva and she had business to attend to, I'm filling in. If you were unaware of this, our bylaws do allow trade-outs like that. Bombast could, for example, cede the floor to Mastadon as rep of the Council lands and John Hellfire could cede the floor to... Ith'Raal I guess. The Agent is also currently filling in for the Herald in the Mercenary Guild (read: fictional character trade-offs are of course, also acceptable). #1. The Demi-plane:Now that I've explained my presence, on to business. We have two main items to discuss.We had a draw in the vote between the Ocean and Dreamscape demi-planes as locations to build our meeting hall/fortress. Jungle is out and we're having a runoff. Aside from personal or aesthetic tastes, Bombast, our resident expert on demi-planes and the person who provided these options, personally recommends the Dreamscape, while Guardian Logos of the Astral Assembly, who has been particularly active in suggestions for construction, speculates that we could use the ambient lightning of the Ocean plane's forever-storms to power the facility. Water World? Both realms are cool as fuck. I mean interesting choices. Poll here: ( Link to Demi-Plane Vote ) - 24 Hours #2. Humanitarian Aid:due to it being a particularly divisive issue, the poll for whether EO N will interfere in affairs as a singular force was left open for a whole week. If you haven't voted, here's me reminding you it's still open. Poll Here:( Humanitarian Aid Link ) - 3 Days Left Divine Intervention? #3. On the Issue of Gods:How much power do we want literal deities to have over our organization? This will be the focus of discussion today. This matter was always on the itinerary and actually came up in our very first meeting, but it is becoming increasingly apparent that this needs to happen sooner rather than later.(I ask that everyone please try to remain calm and polite and consider feelings of the person you're talking to.) uw/ Alright. This one can kind of only be talked about in uw because so many things related to this are meta. It's divisive for out of character reasons whereas #2 is divisive for in character reasons and if we don't square this away quickly, it'll lead to more grief for everyone. So let's get this resolved now in an open and productive way so that from here on out, we can just tap the sign. I'll try to present both sides here as best I can. AGAINST: The EON Compact was created primarily for collaborative worldbuilders, people who want a little more involved wizard politics than what the council offers, and people who want to have interactions with their (hopefully) in-character foes in a way that isn't Wizard War #145. Im going to use a comment by Aldin here as an example. This is not to pick on him. I respect very much what he does in this community, his writing, and the support he was trying to show. I especially enjoy his tournaments and how they've brought people together. I really want to stress here its not a callout. In fact I chose this comment specifically because it is a great example that was resolved in character with no drama, so we can look at it with clear heads. ( EXAMPLE CASE ) In the collaborative construction of the Fortress, we all get to contribute little details that later become established lore for everyone to interact with. If a god comes in and simply provides a fortress that cannot be harmed by anything and solves all of our problems, the collective game we all showed up to play is now over and only one person got to contribute. If a god simply wills a civilization, fully-formed and populated, into being, they will technically qualify as members, but many would consider that to be violating the spirit of what we're doing here. Finally, if a god is so strong that the entirety of the EON Compact could never subdue them, then functionally they get to propose in-character rules that only they can get away with not following. FOR: There is also an argument to be made for allowing gods into EON. It is brief, but it is important. Turning people away is generally considered to be rude. It's not a very nice thing to do and creates a rift in the community. We are, after all, each here to pretend to be silly wizards. Or serious wizards. Or both. But the point is, as passionate as I am about EON and as much as I want it to succeed, it is still worthwhile to take a step back, consider everyone's feelings, and acknowledge that this sub is supposed to be a fun and inclusive wizard zone. So, do we allow gods to be participating members of EON? I'm proposing two options for the god dilemma.
( Link to god vote ) - 48 Hours Thank you for reading all of that, if you did so. We can get back to fun silly wizard politics as God intended once this is squared away. CURRENT DELEGATES: - (Queen Rivamar Blake of Ithacar) - (Paleomancer, Atlas and Pact-controlled lands) - (Bombast, The Citadel and Council-controlled lands) - (Sorcella Ravine, court wizard of Cat Tail City) - (Lapis 3, Administrator of The Bismuth Realms) - (Samael the Wizard King, The Nephilim Realms) - (Lucian and Eve, leaders of the Star Republic of Magic) - (Kaelis Maz, Lord Protector of Yulash Kor) - (Vulkan the Red, defacto dictator of Lemarcia) - (Agnur, rep for the Tortugara) - (Shrax, King of Raesteria) - ( Jash the North Star, representing the Citadel of Cryomancers) - (Mikhail, Archdruid of La'Shima) - (Xerxes, Regent of The Holy Kingdom) - (Marenoxus, Provost of Asfelaeia) - (Lord Carrion of the Skaven Council) - (King Carmine of the Claret Isles) - (Agent, City of Kabaheim and the Northern Territories) - (Emissary of the Sun) - (Guardian Logos of the Astral Assembly) - (John E. Hellfire, Ruler of Hell's 4th Circle) - (Leo, King of S.P.A.D.E.S.) - (Teknika, Leader of Katafýgio) - (Emerald Ferguson, Queen of Magnesia) - (High Necromancer Bishop, Lord of the Throne World) - (Pilot, representing Mount Mor Joint Dwarf-Human Aviation Facility) - (Burger King, Burger City) - ( Falâerin, delegate of the nation of Cyria) - (Lars, City 17) - (Krygin the Crude, representative of the Spirit Realms) - (Vesian, Paragnostic Assembly) - (Lady Aliah Mistwalker, Fausarte's Shogunate) OTHER: - (Crimson Paragons, spectator) - (Spectator) - ( Arch Biomancer Nhak, Elected Official and “Frontline Tank” of the SGA, Spectator) - (Anvir Selensky, the Sigilite, spectator) |
2024.06.01 13:59 candamce2890 🎶♻️30 Day Song-Swap Challenge🎶♻️ Day 1: Madonna
 | For this one a different artist will be named each day. You pick 1 of their songs that you’d want LG to do and 1 of LG’s songs for them to cover. submitted by candamce2890 to LadyGaga [link] [comments] Rules: 1.Limit answer to 1 song each 2.Must be a Lady Gaga song (collaborations and unreleased songs also count) 3.Select a different song each of the 30 days - no repeating 4.If the artist in question actually covered the song it doesn’t count! Let’s see who can last all 30 days! If anyone has any suggestions for recognizable artists to feature I’m always open to ideas! |
2024.06.01 13:56 genericusername1904 H.G. WELLS’S, THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME (1933) VS. 1984 AND BRAVE NEW WORLD
 | ID, IX. MAIORES. V, CAL. IUNI. FORTUNA PRIMIGENIA.I discovered this book by complete chance last year – a very old hardback copy was given to me as gift (in a situation which was certainly weighted with the most unlikely of synchronicities), “huh,” I thought, “it’s a first edition of H.G. Wells,” the book itself almost cannot be opened because it is so old and falling apart so I procured a text and audio file of the thing relatively easily and began to read. In hindsight not only for myself but I fancy for the generations of the last fifty years - in all totality, it is deeply strange that this book has not been more widely recognized or taught in schools, as like 1984 and Brave New World, as being the third contender (although technically the second, published one year after Huxley – seemingly written at the same time interestingly enough) in “visions of dystopia” – except that the book is not so much a vision of dystopia tomorrow but a vision of dystopia ‘today’ or rather ‘life as we know it’ of the 19th, 20th and 21st Centuries (endless war, endless pandemics, economic and logistic chaos), narrated from the comfortable and reassuring position of a society far far in the future who have long since revised their culture and solved all of the causes of the problems and become a society of genius polymaths “with (every Man and Woman) the intellectual equal of the polymaths of the ancient world.”Now, I do not mean here to seem to ‘sweet-talk’ the reader into rushing out and buying this book or to hold it up in the manner of those other books as if it were some ideological blueprint but instead to assay the thing in the natural context which seems to me to be universally unrealized and which presents itself to us as a thing which is plainly self-evident, that is: that in the depressing and miserable dichotomy of 1984 and Brave New World; two extremely atomizing and miserable narratives, that there is also – far more empowering – The Shape Of Things To Come wherein the miserable protagony and antagony of both 1984 and Brave New World might read as merely a footnote somewhere in the middle of the book as an example of the witless measures mankinds old master undertook to preserve their power in an untenable circumstance. In other words, we know all about 1984 as children; we have this drummed into our heads and we glean our cultural comprehension that dictators cannot be cliques of business people but only lone individuals, usually in military uniform, and then we graduate from that to Brave New World to gain a more sophisticated comprehension of the feckless consumerism and ‘passive egoism’ by which our society actually operates, but then we do not – as I argue we ought – continue along in our education with this third book which actually addresses the matters at hand at a more adult level. For instance, here, from ‘The Breakdown Of Finance And Social Morale After Versailles’ (Book One, Chapter Twelve) addresses in a single paragraph the cause of our continual economic chaos (of which all crime and poverty and war originates from) and highlights the problem from which this chaos cannot be resolved yet could easily be resolved, “adjustment was left to blind and ill-estimated forces,” “manifestly, a dramatic revision of the liberties of enterprise was necessary, but the enterprising people who controlled politics (would be) the very last people to undertake such a revision,” …the expansion of productive energy was being accompanied by a positive contraction of the distributive arrangements which determined consumption. The more efficient the output, the fewer were the wages-earners. The more stuff there was, the fewer consumers there were. The fewer the consumers, the smaller the trading profits, and the less the gross spending power of the shareholders and individual entrepreneurs. So buying dwindled at both ends of the process and the common investor suffered with the wages- earner. This was the "Paradox of Overproduction" which so troubled the writers and journalists of the third decade of the twentieth century.It is easy for the young student to-day to ask "Why did they not adjust?" But let him ask himself who there was to adjust. Our modern superstructure of applied economic science, the David Lubin Bureau and the General Directors' Board, with its vast recording organization, its hundreds of thousands of stations and observers, directing, adjusting, apportioning and distributing, had not even begun to exist. Adjustment was left to blind and ill-estimated forces. It was the general interest of mankind to be prosperous, but it was nobody's particular interest to keep affairs in a frame of prosperity. Manifestly a dramatic revision of the liberties of enterprise was necessary, but the enterprising people who controlled politics, so far as political life was controlled, were the very last people to undertake such a revision.There is a clever metaphor I fancy that Wells worked in to this for the ‘actual’ defacto controlling class of things, that is: not really the politicians (sorry to disappoint the Orwell and conspiracy fans) but instead the ‘Dictatorship of the Air’ which might easily read as the ‘Dictatorship of the Airwaves’ – in colloquial language, that being radio and then television. Certainly we might imagine Rupert Murdoch or Ted Turner or Sumner Redstone (of yesterday) entering into honourable retirement as like the ‘dictators of the air’ of the very last days before the establishment of a one world state – in any case that is how things would work out, as the power of, say, Ted Turner to eradicate a political party in the United States – at any time he wishes – by simply green-lighting coverage of their bad actions relentlessly for months until revolution occurs is a real power of which no other institution possesses nor possesses any means of defence against, i.e. the ‘real power’ in our world to end a war or begin or war or end this or begin that is that power held by the organized press. This metaphor is somewhat of a more mature view, I think, than Wells earlier conception of the press in The Sleeper Awakes (1899) where the press of a dystopian future is visualized as a “babble machine” spreading circular nonsense to preoccupy the citizenry (although this is arguably a true representation of the mental processes of the Twitter and Facebook user, or of the general baby-speak and extremely infantile form of the news reports on the front page of the BBC News website) which is more or less what the press depicted as being in Brave New World also.However the construction of sudden new realities (or sudden ‘actualities’) presented by the equation of interdependent technological innovations (i.e. the radio and the television in this instance) is mentioned early on in The Shape Of Things To Come in ‘How The Idea And Hope Of The Modern World State First Appeared’ (Book One, Chapter Two), The fruitlessness of all these premature inventions is very easily explained. First in the case of the Transatlantic passage; either the earlier navigators who got to America never got back, or, if they did get back, they were unable to find the necessary support and means to go again before they died, or they had had enough of hardship, or they perished in a second attempt. Their stories were distorted into fantastic legends and substantially disbelieved. It was, indeed, a quite futile adventure to get to America until the keeled sailing ship, the science of navigation, and the mariner's compass had been added to human resources. (Then), in the matter of printing, it was only when the Chinese had developed the systematic manufacture of abundant cheap paper sheets in standard sizes that the printed book—and its consequent release of knowledge—became practically possible. Finally the delay in the attainment of flying was inevitable because before men could progress beyond precarious gliding it was necessary for metallurgy to reach a point at which the internal combustion engine could be made. Until then they could build nothing strong enough and light enough to battle with the eddies of the air.In an exactly parallel manner, the conception of one single human community organized for collective service to the common weal had to wait until the rapid evolution of the means of communication could arrest and promise to defeat the disintegrative influence of geographical separation. That rapid evolution came at last in the nineteenth century, and it has been described already in a preceding chapter of this world history. Steam power, oil power, electric power, the railway, the steamship, the aeroplane, transmission by wire and aerial transmission followed each other very rapidly. They knit together the human species as it had never been knit before. Insensibly, in less than a century, the utterly impracticable became not merely a possible adjustment but an urgently necessary adjustment if civilization was to continue.In other words, then, a global state (or, rather, such power in general held by the press as I see the analogy extending to them as being the ‘Dictatorship of the Airwaves’) was impossible to imagine and completely laughable before the technologies had stacked together to reveal as like in a simple piece of arithmetic which produced a single outcome of the equation; that no sooner had the technologies existed then the thing had become an actual reality – in that 1) unassailable political power had been unthinkingly dropped into the lap of the owners of the press, but that more importantly as consequence that therefore 2) mankind was subject to that power, that is: the situation existed the moment the technologies did – and this whether any living person had even realized it, as I think quite naturally all the time Men and Women invent things that they really have no notion of the fullest or most optimal uses of (“nothing is needed by fools, for: they do not understand how to use anything but are in want of everything,” Chrysippus), e.g. in no metaphor the television was quite literally invented as a ‘ghost box’ to commune with ghosts imagined to reveal themselves by manipulating the black and white of the static until someone else had the idea that there was at least one other use for that contraption.It is quite strange, also, that in contemporary times we have for ages been heavily propagandized ‘against’ the idea of a “one world state” as if, say, all the crimes and fecklessness that have gone on in our lifetimes are somehow secretly building towards the creation of such a thing – not a thing you would naturally conclude from an observation of those events nor a thing advocated for by anybody (insofar as I have ever heard) but it is a thing which would be the first logical response to ‘preventing’ such crimes from ever occurring again – such as like the already widely practiced concept of a Senate-Style Federation of Sovereign States rather than a hundred or so mutually antagonistic polities capable of bombing themselves or screwing up their economies and creating waves of refugees or mass starvation or pandemics, and so on. For instance, All Egypt is dependent on the flow of the Nile which originates in what is today another country, that other country recently decimated the flow of the Nile by gumming up the Nile with a Hydroelectric Dam; such an outcome would not occur if the total mass of the land itself was governed as the single interconnected economic and environmental system that it is in physical reality of which, when divided along arbitrary borderlines, there is no means to govern the entirety of the region in an amicable and prosperous manner for all as a whole and no recourse to the otherwise intolerable situation but War which is unlikely to occur – as most Nations are comprised of civilized peoples who rightly loath the concept of War – but it is the single and unavoidable outcome to resolve such a situation until that situation has dragged on for decades, causing immense suffering, until it reaches that point of desperation – the matter of Palestine and Israel, fresh to my mind in these days, raises itself also. Of the matter of War itself, in ‘The Direct Action Of The Armament Industries In Maintaining War Stresses’ (Book One, Chapter Eleven), Wells relays in 1933 what United States President Eisenhower would later remark in 1961 in his farewell address of the dangers of the Military Industrial Complex; albeit far more analytically on Wells part, that: it is not so much the ‘desire to harm’ on the part of the armament industries which sees them engage in unnecessary build-up of weapons stockpiles but that it is simply their business to produce, to stockpile, produce more deadly variants and stockpile the more deadly variants and sell off their old stockpiles to whomsoever rings their doorbell; for instance the on-going War in Ukraine is no different in this regard to the Viet Cong and NATO Warfare in Vietnam in that massive quantiles of cheap munitions were necessary for the war to be fought in the first place and massive quantities of munitions happened to exist as a by-product of the Armaments Industries to be dumped onto the warring parties in order to facilitate their macabre impulses at the expense of the citizenry; both at their cost in terms of the debt taken on to procure the weaponry on the part of their governments and in terms of their lives when the weaponry was unused to the outcome of massive loss of life of a single peoples within a bordered space – a thing of no value to themselves. Simply put, albeit in a very simplistic reduction to the bare basics: the War would not reached such catastrophic inhuman proportions without massive quantities of cheap Armaments that otherwise sat taking up warehouse space for more valuable Armaments on the part of the producer and seller. In a perpetual progress in the size and range of great guns, in a vast expansion of battleships that were continually scrapped in favour of larger or more elaborate models, (Armament Firms) found a most important and inexhaustible field of profit. The governments of the world were taken unawares, and in a little while the industry, by sound and accepted methods of salesmanship, was able to impose its novelties upon these ancient institutions with their tradition of implacable mutual antagonism. It was realized very soon that any decay of patriotism and loyalty would be inimical to this great system of profits, and the selling branch of the industry either bought directly or contrived to control most of the great newspapers of the time, and exercised a watchful vigilance on the teaching of belligerence in schools. Following the established rules and usages for a marketing industrialism, and with little thought of any consequences but profits, the directors of these huge concerns built up the new warfare that found its first exposition in the Great War of 1914-18, and gave its last desperate and frightful convulsions in the Polish wars of 1940 and the subsequent decades.Even at its outset in 1914-18 this new warfare was extraordinarily uncongenial to humanity. It did not even satisfy man's normal combative instincts. What an angry man wants to do is to beat and bash another living being, not to be shot at from ten miles distance or poisoned in a hole. Instead of drinking delight of battle with their peers, men tasted all the indiscriminating terror of an earthquake. The war literature stored at Atacama, to which we have already referred, is full of futile protest against the horror, the unsportsmanlike quality, the casual filthiness and indecency, the mechanical disregard of human dignity of the new tactics. But such protest itself was necessarily futile, because it did not go on to a clear indictment of the forces that were making, sustaining and distorting war. The child howled and wept and they did not even attempt to see what it was had tormented it.To us nowadays it seems insane that profit-making individuals and companies should have been allowed to manufacture weapons and sell the apparatus of murder to all comers. But to the man of the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries it seemed the most natural thing in the world. It had grown up in an entirely logical and necessary way, without any restraint upon the normal marketing methods of peace-time commerce, from the continually more extensive application of new industrial products to warfare. Even after the World War catastrophe, after that complete demonstration of the futility of war, men still allowed themselves to be herded like sheep into the barracks, to be trained to consume, and be consumed, by new lines of slaughter goods produced and marketed by the still active armament traders. And the accumulation of a still greater and still more dangerous mass of war material continued.The book is, if the reader has likely already gathered from the excerpts, not written in the style of a protagonal narrative; i.e. not as a story, i.e. no hero and no villain, but as a sort of a Historia Augusta – that is really the most fitting comparison I think of when trying to describe this to a new reader (or perhaps J.J. Scarisbrick’s Henry VIII), that is to say it is written ‘as’ a History in the classical style we are familiar with from the better of the ancient writers, as like Appian or Cassius Dio, but unlike Suetonius or Tacitus it is absent of the sloppy hinging of all bad things on the highly personalized propaganda ad hominem (i.e. blame the fall of empire on one guy) that goes in those narrative works as we are typically familiar with them.It is, of course, a work a fiction; although Wells did predict World War Two beginning in late 1939-1940 (although he had Poland putting up much better and longer of a fight against the Germans) and various other innovations, beginning from his own day with a true account of events prior to his own day – giving us a valuable account of affairs and actors prior to 1933 which would otherwise not come easily to any of us to discover. But the book, ultimately, is vehicle for the transmission and discussion of these societal (i.e. social, economic, industrial, logistic) matters presented to the audience of the day fresh, in their own minds, from the abject horror recently witnessed in World War One – and the economic catastrophes of which Roosevelts reforms had not yet come into tangible reality (i.e. relief for the poor, public works projects such as the motorways across America) as is discussed in that other seemingly little known H.G. Wells literary offering in his face-to-face interview with Josef Stalin the following year in 1934 (something which I think is of far more historical value than say, Nixon and Frost or Prince Andrew and Emily Maitlis), so as to ‘avert’ another crisis and pluck from the ether a seemingly alternate trajectory of where Mankind might at last get its act together. This ‘novel’ (thought it seems strange to call it that) ought be read, I would advise, in conjunction with ‘The Sleeper Awakes’ (1899) and also the (actually very depressing – I would not advise it) short-story prequel ‘A Story Of The Days To Come’ (1897) – set in that same universe – which, perhaps it is because I am English, seems to me to be a black horror show of the reality that we actually find ourselves living in this far into an actually dystopic future – or perhaps yet with the ‘strange windmills’ powering the mega cities that this a future yet to come (no pun intended); the broken speech, the babble machines, the miserable condition of the Working Class and their consumption of pre-packaged soft bread, the desire to flee the urban sprawl into the dilapidated countryside and make a little life in a run-down house with tacky wallpaper peeling away … ah, forgive me, my point is that ‘our condition’; i.e. those of us literate in English, is quite analogous to the condition of the central characters in those two stories; a culture dulled intellectually to the point that they can barely speak or think, being appraised and assayed by ourselves; those of us simply literate, as to render our commentary stuck as to seem as mutually alien as like Caesar in Gaul. However, it is in the context of the frame given to us in ‘The Shape Of Things To Come’ that we might gain a degree of sanity about this self-same situation; to study and lean into that dispassionate quality as to discern the nature of things as they are and recognize how important this quality is in relation to Well’s ultimate outcome for the best possible position of Humankind far far future, that is: that of Humankind’s vital intellectual capacity, and that the most striking message of STC, beyond all we have mentioned in this little overview, is that intellectual capacity in and of itself. For example, when we consider the ‘actuality’ of the power of Turner or perhaps Zuckerberg in his heyday, for instance, we consider a power fallen into a Mans lap by an accidental stacking of disparate technologies created not by himself but of which possess a power utterly dependent in that same equation upon on a population being ‘witless’ in the first place and so led slavishly by the “babble machines”. However you cut it, reader, the great uplifting of Humankind to a standard of autonomy and intellectual prowess – not held by an elite but possessed by All People – is a thing both intrinsically self-sufficient within our grasp for our own selves and is certainly the prerequisite for political matters in that intellectual capacity of the voting public determines entirely whether a public is tricked or foolish and gets themselves into trouble by undertaking some obvious error or whether they are immune to such trickery and foolishness in the first place and that their energies and time are spent on more valuable pursuits. It seems to me that our contemporary society has done away with the notion of good character through intellect and that we live with the outcome of this; being shepherded by emotional manipulation and brute force because our society at large is treated as if we lacked the verbal and intellectual toolsets to understand anything else – moreover possessing no means to discern whether or not what is forced onto us is right or wrong; truth or lies, and so on. Such a society as this, again it seems plain to me, is ‘any’ dystopia because it is the baseline composition for ‘all’ dystopia; as like the foolish dogma of an out-dated ideology for example rests itself upon a large enough contingent of the public being either treated as if they were or in fact are “too foolish” to discuss or think a thing through, so a dogma is poured over them like concrete creating, in turn, intolerable circumstances as the dogma, tomorrow, becomes out-dated and suddenly instructs them to do foolish things, as like in the “Banality Of Evil” (read: Hannah Arendt) as the character in all serious perpetrators of inhumanity who insist, with a confused expression on their faces, that they were just doing their job – and this ‘quality’, of extreme ignorance, is the composition of the culture where such ‘evil actions’ occur. I mean here that in STC we have on one hand a very in-depth account, very serious reading, to graduate the reader out of the depressive, atomizing, disempowering, conspiratorial milieu and mire of ‘life’ presented to us in 1984 and Brave New World, but that we have at the same time the very resonant harmonics that one does not need to “wait around for a distant future utopia” to “solve all the problems” but that the tools to do so are well within our grasp at any time we so choose and of which such an undertaking constitutes the foundation stones and tapestries of that future utopia which, I think, could be said to “meet us half-way” in many of these matters, as like we reach forward and they reach back and then those in the past reach forward and we in the resent reach back; that is anyway what it is to learn from the past and anyway the answer to “why the Grandfather sews the seeds for trees from whose fruits he will never eat.” Valete. ID, IX. MAIORES. V, CAL. IUNI. FORTUNA PRIMIGENIA.FULL TEXT ON GUTENBERG OF H.G. WELLS ‘THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME’ (1933)https://preview.redd.it/9l7yl9hx8y3d1.jpg?width=490&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d5a4109fb8e2193b94a6e244d92d4ec5b7b84a7 https://preview.redd.it/37vvsroy8y3d1.jpg?width=740&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e62ef5e11c1c4222d6f99ffebe82b3dd706cbc2f |
2024.06.01 13:55 pallaviyadav South Indian Films Delivered In August 2023
 | South Indian film industry gives such countless crushing hits in a steady progression. August additionally gave us a few most thrilling films featuring large names in the South business like Rajnikanth, Vijay Deverakonda, Dalquer Salman, Tamannah Bhatia, and some more! With the steadily further developing storylines and innovative activity spine chiller scenes-the South Indian industry is outperforming the ubiquity of Bollywood! Many have awards from Hollywood (RRR getting Oscars with its Natu fever!). We should take a gander at the South Indian films that were delivered in August 2023. Look at them and don't pass up any of them! Here is the rundown: submitted by pallaviyadav to u/pallaviyadav [link] [comments] 1. Thupparivaalan 2 12 Augusthttps://preview.redd.it/c1abx13z7y3d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=37bded6f7a2106715ddc52ec3279f900bdaf11f2It is an activity wrongdoing spine chiller film about a canny criminal investigator Kaniyan Pongundran, who alongside his accomplice otherwise known as companion Mano, settles a ton of cases. It is a spin-off of the film Thupparivaalan and the primary leads are repeating their jobs. Strangely, the film and its fundamental characters are profoundly enlivened by the compositions of the English essayist Arthur Conan Doyle and his characters Sherlock Holmes and Watson. On the off chance that you like to watch a 'whodunit' film this new investigator film coordinated by Vishal and featuring Darren Tassell, Vishal, and Rahman is an ideal watch! 2. Bhola Shankar 11 Augusthttps://preview.redd.it/32pi5g058y3d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=104eb472b7fd8372546bdb779459cfe20673d345Bhola Shankar was one of the most expected films of August 2023. It stars enormous names from the Telugu entertainment world like Chiranjeevi, Tamannah Bhatia, Keerthy Suresh, Rashmi Gautam, and Vennela Kishore among others. The film is a redo of the 2015 Tamil film-Vedalam. It shows the narrative of a man Bhola who is a gushing sibling and can't see his sister hurt. However, when his sister is hurt by two or three thugs he makes it his life intention to chase down and rebuff those infamous criminals who can't regard ladies. This activity show film is coordinated by Meher Ramesh and got a typical reaction from watchers yet in the event that you like great melodies and honestly love Chiranjeevi-you could watch this one. 3. King of Kothaa 24 Augusthttps://preview.redd.it/uabkpjn68y3d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=33f2aa5ac70ab67702bd4283eaaf07f5250de014Once more this Malayalam-language activity spine chiller film is about a monitor Shahul who carries back the 'Ruler' to battle Kannan Bhai and his hoodlums' prevailing powers in a fearful town and battle them to reestablish harmony. It is coordinated by Abhilash Joshiy and stars huge names in the Malayalam business including Dalquer Salman, Aishwarya Lekshmi, Soubin Shahir, and Ritika Singh among others. With incredible chiefs and entertainers cooperating the film clearly gave us a genuine South Indian punch-stuffed activity spine chiller! 4. Jailer 10 Augusthttps://preview.redd.it/03e5ng4a8y3d1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=ae39225ed0b5bbb5c73470340630952ada0ab27f'Guard' is a dark satire activity film that has previously made truly a buzz. Also, the explanation is, as a matter of fact, our Thalaiva-Rajnikanth! The famous actors Rajnikanth and Tamannah Bhatia in lead jobs and Tamannah's melody Kaavaalaa was at that point in pattern! It is the narrative of Muthuvel Pandian, a guard who comes to be familiar with a gathering attempting to safeguard their bad pack pioneer from the jail he then, at that point, embarks to prevent this from occurring. 'Guard' was without a doubt one of the best films of August. It is coordinated by Nelson Dilipkumar, and alongside the lead couple, additionally includes a gathering star cast including Jacki Shroff, Mohanlal, Shivarajkumar, and Ramya Krishnan among others. Also Read: THE NEW BOY 5. JGM 3 Augusthttps://preview.redd.it/8qrex4nh8y3d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=490ca41ed1d2eeb4ac2cbd95a9d28f17c7699b56An activity show film has likewise made a ton of hypothesis since it has an incredible star projected, in any case, the story is left hidden about making interest. It is coordinated by Puri Jagannadh and highlights whizzes like Vijay Deverakonda, Pooja Hegde, Janhvi Kapoor, and Nayan Rosh TM among others. The film should be delivered in August 2023-yet its delivery is postponed worry don't as well, you didn't pass up this one! 6. Peda Kapu-1 18 Augusthttps://preview.redd.it/519mun6l8y3d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=4f3929f197137f7115e55a474660d6c7bfaf6534Peda Kapy-1 is a transitioning film and denotes the presentation of the gifted entertainer Vikram Karrna in the number one spot job. The film looks extreme the story is as well! This film is composed and coordinated by Srikanth Addala who gave superhits like 'Kotha Bangaru Lokam', and highlights Tanikella Bharani, Easwari Rao, and Rao Ramesh in unmistakable jobs. 7. Gandeevadhari Arjuna 25 Augusthttps://preview.redd.it/ta0mi51n8y3d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=7645a282a0a8b59267b4606a7ec35bf16c0cb802Coordinated by Praveen Sattaru-it is a covert operative activity thrill ride film about a covert agent and everything terrific about his missions! Indeed, not much has been uncovered about the film. Notwithstanding, it stars a gathering star cast including Varun Tej, Sakshi Vaidya, Nassar, and Vimala Raman in the principal jobs. The film's music is made by Mickey J. Meyer. The film is about a government operative and has a decent reaction as well as a 8.1 IMDb rating-appears to be a must-watch, right? |
2024.06.01 13:53 Rayfriki Just Finished Season 1 After Almost Quitting After Episode 2
It mostly had to do with Poppy. She just felt so insufferable as the angry gamer / programmer girl. The straw that broke the camel's back was when she couldn't even remember the names of her team members and calling David a beta (seriously, wtf and then she has the nerve to call other people unprofessional). She could play victim all she wanted of never getting what she wanted (her shovel) but why should anyone give a damn after the way she treats people.
What got me through the beginning was Jo and Dana. Then of course, episode 5 absolutely blew me away and gave me the will to finish.
I felt such Schadenfreude after watching the dude from the other gaming studio tell Poppy to kick rocks and absolutely hitting the nail on the head: she had such a capricious temperment.
I did find myself softening up towards her when they explained that Ian hired her at the age of 19 directly from MIT. To her credit, I would never expect anyone at that age to act professional (especially in an industry / setting that has been known to be bereft of treating women fairly / with respect). And I'm sure she was influenced by Ian's crazy ass for the past eight years. Yes she could have behaved better, but the later episodes really helped me check myself and realize that work environments can really do a number on people.
I know it's more interesting to have flawed characters and I agree. I'm just glad the show is able to steer her (and some others) back in the right direction when I thought they wouldn't even bother. Episode 10 and 11 felt so magical that I'm glad I stuck with it.
submitted by Rayfriki to MythicQuest [link] [comments]
What got me through the beginning was Jo and Dana. Then of course, episode 5 absolutely blew me away and gave me the will to finish.
I felt such Schadenfreude after watching the dude from the other gaming studio tell Poppy to kick rocks and absolutely hitting the nail on the head: she had such a capricious temperment.
I did find myself softening up towards her when they explained that Ian hired her at the age of 19 directly from MIT. To her credit, I would never expect anyone at that age to act professional (especially in an industry / setting that has been known to be bereft of treating women fairly / with respect). And I'm sure she was influenced by Ian's crazy ass for the past eight years. Yes she could have behaved better, but the later episodes really helped me check myself and realize that work environments can really do a number on people.
I know it's more interesting to have flawed characters and I agree. I'm just glad the show is able to steer her (and some others) back in the right direction when I thought they wouldn't even bother. Episode 10 and 11 felt so magical that I'm glad I stuck with it.
2024.06.01 13:53 Mediocre-Till-948 I'm probably failing
This sounds so dramatic but i've been doing pretty well all year (A*s-As) but since my actual exams started i've just been a mess. My mental and physical health has spiralled because of my toxic home situation and it's the 1 year anniversary of my close friend's suicide and my paper 1s were generally so disappointing it ruined my self esteem and gave me so much anxiety so I STILL haven't gathered the motivation to cram for my other papers. I'm just convinced i'm either going to fail completely or scrape average grades which breaks my heart because i've worked so hard to pass so i can leave my toxic household but only i can be unlucky enough to fall into a depressive episode halfway during my a levels.
Anyway, I don't know what to do. I'm not keen on retaking, or going into clearing. I need to take a gap year as i need to save up money to help me move out a long way away for uni since my parents are 100% going to cut me off when they find out my plans to move. So i have even more pressure on me than the average year 13 to pass because if i fail i'm stuck here and that's a fate worse than death no joke. I might go insane on results day because those grades do not reflect the actual knowledge and intelligence i've been thriving on the last 2 years but nobody cares about that do they?
submitted by Mediocre-Till-948 to sixthform [link] [comments]
Anyway, I don't know what to do. I'm not keen on retaking, or going into clearing. I need to take a gap year as i need to save up money to help me move out a long way away for uni since my parents are 100% going to cut me off when they find out my plans to move. So i have even more pressure on me than the average year 13 to pass because if i fail i'm stuck here and that's a fate worse than death no joke. I might go insane on results day because those grades do not reflect the actual knowledge and intelligence i've been thriving on the last 2 years but nobody cares about that do they?
2024.06.01 13:49 Grilon_Kingdom Our new passport
 | submitted by Grilon_Kingdom to u/Grilon_Kingdom [link] [comments] |
2024.06.01 13:48 Dependent_Speaker_21 (almost) 3 months post mirena update !
I say almost because it will be officially three months and a few days, but we’re pretty much there! here to bring you guys an update on my personal experience after having my mirena taken out. how I’m feeling, any changes to my body just in case anybody is going through it. you’re not alone! And it does get better!
I had my mirena taken out on April 3rd of this year. I got it taken out for several reasons, you can see all my previous post.
submitted by Dependent_Speaker_21 to Mirena [link] [comments]
I had my mirena taken out on April 3rd of this year. I got it taken out for several reasons, you can see all my previous post.
- anxiety. This was one of the main reasons I got it taken out in the first place because I have no history of any mental health issues. which I speculate the IUD is the reason as to why all of a sudden these issues are present. I’m very in tune with my body so I can almost immediately when something is different. it was a few things that I cut out of my diet. I don’t really drink soda anymore or any caffeine, I used (quit now) to smoke (🍃), which I used to do regularly is now one of the main contributors to spiked anxiety. and sometimes I just randomly have a minor episode. I’ve had four panic attacks total not back to back. I just started to recognize the signs and do certain exercises to relieve myself of that I’m still in the process of figuring out what works best for me when I get in those situations. I do speak to a therapist, she’s been a pretty good help. I also have been taking supplements and vitamins that have actually been helping me. I drink tea more often, as well as try to stay hydrated. Even though I don’t want to try to get out the house more and do things that I enjoy. Now that we’re at the three month mark, my anxiety is not as present as it was before. There was a time where I could barely do anything (mixed with depression). now I somewhat have a desire to actually get up and go do things now, it’s gradually getting back where it was, but it’s still taking some time.
- depression. as of three months without my Iud, I feel like my depression is present, but not as much. i’m gonna try to explain the best way I can, but I’m a person who is jumping at the opportunity to do things especially outside the house. I mentioned that I’m getting more comfortable as days go on which I definitely am I still have phases where I’m quite irritable and spacey. I am more open to talking to people now, because you could literally go days without hearing from me.
- period. May 20 is when I got my first period. I was cramping. I had a migraine, it lasted for about five days. I had some concerns because before my period had started I actually had a UTI and as soon as I started to take the medication, I was prescribed by a doctor. That’s when my period started. I’m pretty sure it was a regular period and I’m just overthinking it but I’m supposed to be starting another one in about 12 days so we’ll see what happens because some people say that they have a period and then they don’t have another one for a while and I’m just kind of at the point where I just want things to be normal
- skin. I mentioned this previously, but my skin isn’t as itchy anymore. My eczema flair up only itches sometimes