[INDEX]
I banked the fire and stared into the golden eyes of Beatale before I crept into my makeshift tent.
I still had my auric vision running and couldn’t help but notice the thin silver cord that ran from me to Horse. Firming up my aura, I reached out with my hand and grabbed it. I could feel the nearly imperceptible vibration between my fingers as I used my mind to probe at the thread. I could feel a bright spark of intellect, a light at the end of a tunnel. Pushing with my mind, I slid down the thread until the spark grew larger and eventually filled my inner vision with a hazy white light. Horsey thoughts nudged at me curiously.
I slid into the haze and immediately lost all sense of direction. If it wasn’t for the silver thread, I’d have no idea how to exit this shifting white fog. Horsey thoughts got stronger as I followed the thread while the haze thinned and cleared to reveal an endless prairie of green grass. I found myself standing before a naked man wearing a horse mask and I stared in shock. It was obviously me wearing a cheap costume horse mask — there was no mistaking my tattoos.
“What did you expect?” Horse neighed at me. “I am you and you are me and we are all together. Goo goo ga joob.”
Horse made a shooing motion with his hands and I accelerated backwards through the white haze and slammed into my own body with a gasp. I stared at the tarp overhead for a long minute, processing this new revelation. Horse was a part of me, a piece of my spirit. Whatever psychic stuff I did with that silver cord lead me into a house of mirrors where I got to look at myself pretending to be a horse. I can’t even deal with that right now.
Rolling into my blankets, I dropped off to sleep.
*Ding*
-=- - Welcome to the Dreamworld - Included in the Psychic Skills pack, the Inner Sanctum is your psychic domain. It is the mental fortress that you must secure and maintain to defend against psychic and spiritual assaults. All of your neurosis and fears are symbolised in this realm and must be defeated or subjugated before you can become master of the domain. Good luck. -=-
I banished the pop-up and looked around. I knew I was asleep, but everything was just as real as when I was awake. I was breathing, I could feel the floor under my feet, and if it weren’t for the pop-up, I would have sworn I had been teleported. The room I was in resembled an oversized luxury prison cell, maybe a thirty foot cube. No windows. Rough stone walls with thick mortar. Large brass wall sconces were set directly into the stone and suffused the room with a warm, golden light provided by glowing rocks. The stone floor had colourful Persian rugs tastefully placed. A high plaster ceiling was painted with a rendition of Michelangelo’s ‘Creation of Adam’, depicting me as both Adam and God.
There was a comfy sofa in front of a large screen television that hung from one wall and an ornate grandfather clock ticked loudly in the corner. It was currently 10:08 PM. Another wall was a floor to ceiling bookshelf, stuffed with books of varying sizes. The third wall was covered with pictures and I could see at a glance that they were images from my life. The fourth wall had a thick riveted steel door on the right side, a full sized mirror on the left, and a computer workstation in the middle.
The picture wall was my first target. A few were quite large, nearly life sized, while others were tiny prints no larger than the palm of my hand. Scenes of my life were displayed in each one. The largest was me riding Horse with a shit-scared expression, shooting at a pack of wolves. Others were smaller, each with different frames. Some ornate gold or silver, others plain wood, a few wrapped in briars or barbed wire. Nanny Ramsey holding me as a young child. My dog Jean with a red ball in his mouth. My parents, screaming at me. I turned my attention to the books. Books are safe. Books don’t judge you.
The sweet, musty scent of a used book store filled my nostrils as I drew close to the honey coloured shelves. Hundreds of volumes filled the wall from floor to ceiling, with a ladder that could be rolled along a rail to access the top. I smiled at the sight. I had always wanted a library like this. I pulled a book at random and read the title, “Confused Fantasies about Joseph Harris, part XXIV of the Middle School Years”.
I slid the book back onto the shelf. Let’s see what’s on TV.
The remote was a slim, futuristic looking affair with a minimum of buttons. I pointed it at the television and moments later the huge screen came to life and presented me with a simple menu for movies, divided into six categories: Happy, Surprised, Afraid, Disgusted, Angry, and Sad. I scrolled through the offerings for a minute, reading the titles and reviews about the movies of my life. It really bothered me that there were so few selections in the Happy section.
The number of Sad movies increased by one.
I walked over to the mirror and noticed there was a small sticky note pasted to it. “Astral Realm. Experienced users only.” I shoved the note in my pocket and stared at my image. Sturdy black boots, black denim jeans and shirt with mother-of-pearl buttons, deep brown gun belt slung at my hip, red bandanna and black felt hat. All I needed was a pencil moustache and I would look like the stereotypical villain in any spaghetti western. At that very moment I decided to grow out a goatee. I’d rather be mistaken for a bad guy than a victim.
So how does this astral realm thing work?
The mirror appeared to be nothing more than a mirror. It was cold, smooth glass surrounded by a wrought iron frame, and reflected my image. I didn’t necessarily want to go walking into danger, but I wanted to know how it worked. I pushed and prodded the glass in frustration until I noticed my image grinning at me. I jumped back in surprise and it doubled over in silent laughter.
“Hilarious, dude. You got me,” I huffed. “So how do I get in?”
My mirror-self tipped his hat and stepped to side.
I reached up to the mirror again and my hand passed through, vanishing as if cut off. Okay, just a quick peek and we’ll explore the rest of the room. I stepped through and the world shifted around me. I was standing back at the campsite. My body was insubstantial as a ghost and the tarp was a wisp of substance running straight through me. Non living things don’t seem to have much presence in this realm. Glancing down, I saw my sleeping body rolled up in the blankets, a thin silver thread running from it to me, and another thread running to Horse.
Looking around, I surveyed the campsite. My astral vision seemed to be on and had an unlimited range. I could see the life all around me, the distant forest was a sea of greenish-gold, grasses and brush nearby glowed with spectral light. Tiny ghost insects scurried while ghost mice nibbled at whatever ghost mice nibble on. Ghost seeds and ghost insects, I suppose. I turned my attention overhead and gaped at the sight of a monstrous serpentine spirit flying through the inky void. I dropped back through the tent and rolled inside my body. That was plenty enough for now.
I rolled through the mirror and landed flat on my back, staring at the fresco on the ceiling. Vinnie-God winked at me and Vinnie-Adam grinned. Climbing to my knees, I brushed non-existent dust from my trousers and watched mirror-me doubled over in soundless laughter.
“Hey, laughing-boy!” I yelled at him. “You’re like the guardian or something, right? You got it covered?”
Mirror-me stood and saluted with a smile, then gave me two thumbs up. A moment later, his face took on a serious expression and he wriggled his right hand in the ‘maybe’ motion. Then he pointed at me, tapped his wrist, and then a finger to his head.
It all depends on how fast I learn stuff, I guess.
Two thumbs up and a winning smile reflected back to me.
A large cork board was mounted to the wall over the computer and a small note was pinned to it. “Note to self: Don’t fuck with the Elvish womens.”
The computer screen featured a screensaver of me as Vitruvian Man doing callisthenics over the words ‘HumanOS’. I tapped the spacebar and was rewarded with the sound of powerful fans kicking to life as the computer emerged from sleep mode and prompted me for a password. Should I assume it’s the same as the password on the computer I pawned in my previous life?
Password: *******esi
I was rewarded with a sweet R&M desktop and a couple of icons. System, NeuralNet, My-Tunes, My-Movies, My-Office.
System was just what I expected, lots of .dna files and other confusing scariness that allowed me to tweak my physical body and mental state. My-Tunes was a collection of every song I’d ever heard and My-Movies was a collection of every movie I’d ever seen. Not that I’m complaining, but it would have been nice to have “My-Games” so I could play RDR. My-Office was a clone of the popular software by a similar name. I have no idea what I’ll ever need a spreadsheet for in this world.
NuralNet opened up a search engine called Me-Seeks, featuring a familiar blue guy.
I typed in “beer” and several thousand results were displayed, anything I’d ever read, heard, or watched about beer, including how to make it. This right here made the price of admission totally worth it, access to an exact copy of everything I’d ever read, and I was a voracious reader. Sadly, most of the stuff I read was futurology — solar panels, electronics, biotech advancements, quantum computing. The material for steam engines, blacksmithing, farming and the like, were slim pickings. That’s okay though, I could still reproduce the Gutenberg press, the cotton gin, simple internal combustion engines, and basic batteries along with some sketchy knowledge of metal alloys, acids, bases, and other things I had read over the years. All that wasted time watching “How Things Work” was finally going to pay off. I copied a few likely money makers to My-Office, saved the file, and exported to my Notes, just in case they didn’t exist on Aerth.
A popup covered the screen.
📱 [New Upgrade Available!] 📱
🎉 Enhance Your Experience with the Latest HumanOS Features! 🎉
🌟 Features Include:

• 🧠 Memory Booster: Increase your Memory for smoother multitasking and improved performance.
• 🔋 Energy Optimizer: Extend your battery life with advanced power-saving techniques.
• 🛠️ Utility Upgrades: Access new apps and utilities to enhance your daily life and adventures.
• 🗺️ Advanced Mapping: Never get lost again with enhanced GPS and location tracking.

🔥 Special Offer: Only 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0! 🔥
[Upgrade Now ✅] [Remind Me Later ❌]
Apparently I could upgrade myself, which reduced the cost of using my Utilities while providing other minor benefits. My Utilities would level up as I used them, which would increase their battery cost, so if I didn’t keep pace with an update to the OS they could become prohibitively expensive to operate.
Stupid pay-to-win world.
So, do I pay 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0?
I selected version 3.0 and klicked [Install]. After watching it download the update, it popped up another screen that asked if I wanted to update now, or wait until Midnight for the mandatory update.
I selected [No] just as the grandfather clock chimed 10:30 PM. I wondered if time ran slower in here, because it seemed like I had spent a lot more time on the computer than 15 minutes. Walking over to the imposing steel door, I noticed a bronze key with a thin chain in the lock. There was another sticky note on the door. “Subconscious. Please keep the key with you at all times.”
That’s not scary at all, is it?
I unlocked the door with a loud clunk and pulled it open to reveal a bedroom straight out of some royal castle. I could tell immediately that it had seen better days. The tapestries on the wall were frayed and fading. The canopy over the bed had a few holes in it. A thin layer of dust covered the mantle of a small fireplace set into the wall. There was a window letting in bright sunlight and I moved over to look outside.
I was on the third floor of a keep surrounded by the walls and turrets of a modest castle. A castle that had fallen into serious disrepair. Did this represent the state of my inner mind? One tower was shattered and the curtain wall under it damaged. The lower bailey was full of litter. I could see a few soldiers walking around the allure, keeping watch.
I have people in my subconscious?
Someone behind me cleared their throat.
Whirling, I discovered a familiar old man standing in the door of the bedroom. What was left of his hair formed a white halo around his head, his face was unshaven and covered with several days of growth. He was dressed like a poor and tattered manservant, but carried himself with a dignified air.
“Woodhouse?”
“It’s nice to see the master at home,” He said with a proper English accent. “There are many matters that require the master’s attention.”
“Uh, sure,” I said, hanging the key around my neck and tucking it in my shirt. “And who are you again?”
“Your personal manservant, of course” he said with a slight bow. Walking over to the steel door, he pulled it closed and it locked with a solid thunk. “Master should always keep his inner sanctum closed. One never knows if something nasty will creep in.”
“Thank you, uh, Woodhouse. I’ll remember that,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “So what needs tending and how do things work around here?”
He smiled and beckoned me with a white gloved hand. “If master would be so kind as to follow me, I’ll introduce him to the staff and explain the duties and obligations of his domain.”
I’m 99.9% certain that everyone here is just me wearing a mask, so I shrugged and followed Woodhouse out of the bedroom and into the rest of my subconscious.
Five minutes later I was on the ground floor and seated on a shabby throne with the cast of a popular —and probably very copyright protected— animation in front of me. Woodhouse was the head butler and my personal manservant. Pam was the cook and demanded that I start importing sugar and alcohol before she was shushed by Woodhouse. Carol was a maid. Krieger was chancellor and Cyril was the steward. Archer and Lana were in charge of security. Ray was the marshal in charge of everything from the stables to the blacksmith.
I stared in disbelief at the motley crew kneeling in front of me. No wonder my inner mind was in such shambles. I was overcome with an irrational sense of anger at myself.
“Arright, listen up,” I barked, my voice echoing around the room. “I swear to God that I will fire every single one of you and hire circus clowns to replace you if you keep fucking things up. No joke. Circus clowns, got it?”
I ran a hand over my face as Ray pissed himself. “The only reason I’m not putting a boot in your asses right now is because I realise that you’re aspects of me, and the people you represent are pretty damn good at their jobs when they give enough of a shit to actually do them. As a team, you’re dysfunctionally fantastic and always seem to come out ahead no matter the odds.”
Heaving a sigh, I continued. “Things have changed and I need to get my shit together. I’m going to need every one of you to pull your weight and help me help you. Get back to your duties, I’ll meet you one on one later.”
My subconscious caretakers scurried out of the room.
“I’ll have one of the maids tend to the piss,” Woodhouse assured me.
“Never mind that,” I snapped. “I honestly had no idea my mind was such a shit show. I’m very disappointed in myself.” I pictured the Angry, Sad, and Disgusted counters on my personal movies clicking up. “Show me what needs to be done and let’s get started.”
During Woodhouse’s walking tour, everything clicked into place. This was some altered version of Bodiam castle, a location that was on my bucket list of places to visit. The royal council room, located behind the throne room, contained a “living” tapestry on the wall that showed the castle and surrounding land in real time. The castle was located in the middle of a small lake, and a single wood bridge led to the mainland. A small town surrounded the lake and a wall encircled the town. Outside the wall, the land was an irregular patchwork of forest and field, with a stinking swamp to the south. The entire “kingdom” was maybe ten miles across, surrounded by impassable mountains with innumerable creeks that fed the lake which drained into the southern swamp.
“Zombies are the problem, sir.” Woodhouse said, as I surveyed the living tapestry of my mental domain.
“Zombies?” I prompted.
“Yes sir, Zombies” Woodhouse continued. “Nasty bitey things that come in from the mountains and harass the peasants. They’ve gotten especially worse over the last few months. The soldiers do what they can, but they seem to have lost all motivation. Probably because they haven’t been paid.”
“And who pays them?”
“Typically chancellor Krieger is in charge of financial matters, although Steward Figgis has taken over the duty, sir.”
“Then let’s make Figgis our first stop.”
“Very good, sir.”
The office of the steward was run by Cyril Figgis, who managed the kingdom in my absence. It was overflowing with paperwork and charts, books and scrolls piled high on every flat surface. Cyril was desperately attempting to tidy things when Woodhouse and I walked in.
“Yo..you..your majesty,” Cyril stuttered, bowing low. Scrolls fell from his overloaded arms, spilling across the floor. He dropped to his knees and scrambled to gather them up. “I didn’t expect you to visit so soon. Please forgive the mess, housekeeping has been slacking…”
This was the guy who ran things while I was conscious.
“Shut up, Cyril” I said. “You’re responsible for everything in this office. That includes keeping it organised and tidy.”
“Y..yes milord.”
“It’s my understanding that you’re in charge of making sure everyone gets paid. So why aren’t we paying people?” I asked.
“We’re nearly out of Fuks, your majesty. I’ve been saving them for emergencies.”
“Fucks?”
“Fuks,” Cyril explained, pushing a pile of books off a large chest and opening it. Reaching inside he pulled out two small bags and emptied them on top of his cluttered desk. “Gold and Silver Fuks, the currency of the kingdom. I can’t maintain the kingdom when I have no Fuks to give.”
Behold the subconscious kingdom of Vincent J. Carter, it runs on Fuks.
“So how do I get more fuks?” I asked, examining one of the coins. It had an image of me on one side and symbol on the other that could be interpreted as “peace among worlds”.
“You kill the zombies, your majesty.”
Of course I do.
Woodhouse and I left Cyril’s office and headed towards the office of the chancellor where Krieger worked. It seemed that Cyril took over financial matters when Krieger became erratic and proposed luring all the zombies into the city and setting it on fire. Not sure how that corresponds to my own self-destructive behaviour, but I’ve had some dark thoughts over the last couple of months and I’m sure they’re reflected here.
Krieger’s office was much neater in comparison to Cyril’s, but it wasn’t by much. Shelves lined the walls and were filled with an array of questionable items, including a still snapping zombie head in a jar. While the office of the chancellor was supposed to be in charge of financial matters, it looked more like a dodgy rummage sale.
Krieger was launching sword blades at a pig carcass when we walked in.
“What exactly are you doing?” I asked, standing in the doorway.
“Hm? Oh, your majesty!” he said, turning around and bowing deeply. “I’m testing a new invention. It’s a spring loaded hilt that shoots sword blades. Very useful for our soldiers.”
“Stupidest idea ever,” I snapped. “I hate everything about it.”
“Okay,” Krieger said, tossing the hilt into a nearby pile of junk. “But don’t blame me when you need to shoot a sword at a zombie and don’t have one.”
“So why aren’t you managing the financial affairs? Collecting taxes, paying people, stuff like that?”
“Because the population has declined so much none of that matters?”
“What do you mean?”
“Wellll, the population represents things you care about,” Krieger said, going into lecture mode. “And the zombies and other monsters are real or imagined problems in your way. Since you don’t care about too many things the population has shrunk to just what’s needed to keep everything running on the bare minimum of fuks. And since you don’t seem to have any long or short term goals, there’s no need to kill off the zombies and get more fuks. Everything is fine just the way it is.”
“No, it’s not Krieger” I said, grinding my teeth. “My mind is in a shambles. It’s a joke. I want it fixed. No, I want it better than fixed. I want it improved.”
“Oh! I’ve got just the thing for that!” He said, digging around in his pockets, “It’s a spring-loaded hilt that shoots swords!”
Pam and Cheryl were hanging out a gallery window jeering at Archer and Lana sparring in the inner courtyard.
“What the hell are you doing!” I snapped
They whirled in surprise and then dropped into deep curtseys.
“Your majesty!”
I took a deep breath, trying to regain my centre. “Get to work cleaning this place up. Find a room, clean it, and move on to the next. Start with my bedroom, then the throne room and the council chamber, then everything else.”
Cheryl spoke up. “Can’t do it. We got no fuks to clean with.”
“You need fuks to clean?”
“Gotta buy stuff,” Pam said. “Cleaning supplies, food. You wanna eat, you’re gonna have to spend some fuks.”
“Talk to Cyril,” I ordered. “Tell him I said to get you supplied.”
They ran off in the direction of the stewards office.
I watched Archer and Lana bashing each other enthusiastically through the window.
Several minutes later the sparring couple stopped and bowed when Woodhouse and I stepped into the inner courtyard.
“Your majesty”
“My liege”
“Enough,” I said. “If you have enough energy to smash each other, you have enough energy to smash zombies. Tell me what I need to know so I can start gathering fuks.”
Archer shrugged and spoke first. “You just kill the zombies and other monsters. They drop fuks.”
“Anything special about the zombies?” I asked. “Are they fast? Do people get turned into zombies when bitten?”
“Nope,” Lana said, resting her wooden sword on her shoulder. “Most of them are slow shamblers and just need a good wack to the head to kill them.”
“Some are special,” Archer interjected. “Occasionally you’ll have some fast ones, or those that need holy water to kill. They’re just bad memories, figments of your personality that need to be eliminated. Some are worse than others.”
“The zombies are bad memories?” I asked, imagining all the bad memories that I had.
“Memories, thoughts, insecurities, metaphysical mumbo-jumbo,” Woodhouse supplied. “They are endless, but constant vigilance can keep them under control.”
“So let’s get started,” I said. “Lead the way.”
Lana and Archer lead me up to the parapet over the front gate where I looked over at the dozens of zombies milling about aimlessly in front of the entrance to my mind. Pulling out my gun, I began to pick them off, easy as shooting fish in a barrel. The crack of my spell pistol attracted more zombies and I dispatched them with ease until no more were left around the gate. As I fired each shot I could feel some sort of existential energy flowing from me, draining some hidden reserve.
“Gather up the Fuks,” I commanded. “And Lana?”
“Mi’lord?”
“There’s no excuse for this. From now on, I expect the walls to be clear of all zombies.”
“Yes mi’lord,” she said, giving me a small bow.
Turning to Archer, I shook my head. “You’re obviously my personal narcissism, so just try to stay out of Lana’s way, or better yet - try to kill more zombies than her. If you think you can.”
Archer scoffed. “No contest. I took top marks in sharpshooting.”
“That means I should expect to see results by tomorrow. I look forward to it.”
Archer looked panicked for a moment then smiled. “Sure, I can give you results.”
Turning back to Woodhouse I said “Show me what else need attending.”
Woodhouse led me through the town that represented my mind, pointing out each business that had fallen into disrepair, suggested others that needed improvements, and additions that would benefit me. In the distance, I could hear Lana and Archer shooting at the crowd of zombies and with each echoing shot I felt a tiny bit better about everything.
[INDEX]

My brother (21) fell down the Islamic rabbit hole HARD around 2 years ago. He believes he's a disciple or some crazy shit like that. Constantly is watching Islamic videos on full blast, believes he was possessed by Shaytan, thinks the Dajjall is coming, etc etc. It's constant. He went to a doctor or psychiatrist, I don't know, who told him he had psychosis or a psychotic episode. But that was about it. No ongoing therapy or medicine.
I feel bad for him. I do. But hearing his shit for 2 whole years has made me go crazy too. Instead of taking my brother to get help, proper help or therapy or whatever the fuck, my mother said he needed rukiya. She's born and raised in the UK but ethnically Pakistan. She knows what therapy is. She knows what a psychiatrist is. And the first thing she suggested was a fucking exorcism, feeding into his delusions.
My mum keeps saying he needs help. I said he should get therapy, and she said No. But what help would he get if not therapy? She's constantly saying "I'll get you help" and nothing ever happens. My brother just sleeps all day, and if he's not sleeping he's muttering about Andrew Tate, and how he (my brother) needs to get married, or that he needs to be homeless, or that the Hindus and Jews are stupid (he used a worse word.)
I'm 17f from the UK doing my A levels (year 12) right now in a house full of crazies. I'm barely scraping D's in my subjects. I can't concentrate. Everyone here says it gets better when you leave. It gets better when you go to university.
But what if I can't even go there? My grades are dogshit. And even then, on the off chance I get in, is it really better? How? How is it better? I'd have to come back home every so often for the holidays. I'd be living away from my parents, and I can technically do what I want, but what if someone snitches? Tells my parents that I'm drinking beer or whatever? I have a Muslim name AND I'm a girl. People at uni will be asking things, will be judging. If I was a guy, less so, but I'm not. And at the end of the 4 years, I'd be back at home with a degree and debt.
It's constant chaos in my life. Isn't it funny how I'm in the UK, a first world country, and at my big age of seventeen years old, I'm not allowed to wear an oversized fucking T shirt to a park? Isn't it funny that my mother said my outfit wasn't modest when I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt that covered my ass????
I'm rambling. This doesn't make sense and I'm almost about to cry right now. I don't know what to do. There's so much I left out. If I spoke about how truly fucked my life has been, it would be 100 pages long.

Here it is. Every track that was put out by the label Fischkopf Hamburg, from all records they released. Listed, ordered, with a little comment / short review / description added to each one. Note that the "chart" concept might be a bit misleading here: Essentially, we love *all* Fischkopf tracks and think they are great. So, if a track is at number 101 or 124 in this chart, this does not mean it's a bad track - to the contrary! It's all good stuff (but some is a little better ;) We just thought the charts format would be a good idea; to present the label's catalogue, increase awareness of its music, and give somewhat of an overview of the material the label released. (And some of the comments aim to be in the typical tongue-in-cheek, lighthearted attitude, and style of the 90s hardcore fanzines)
More info about Fischkopf Hamburg can be found here:
https://hardcoretechnoprimer.blogspot.com/2021/01/the-story-of-fischkopf.html
But let us begin:
1.Taciturne - Phenprocoumon
very inventive hardcore techno track. a good example of the kind of music Fischkopf Records released. commodore amiga hardcore sound. uses broken, unusual rhythms, not typical 4/4 hardcore techno sequences. very noisy and abrasive. at the same time, a "far eastern" ambient melody is used in this track, which is very calm and soothing. this creates a very interesting clash between the harsh, abrasive elements, and the calm melody.
2.Auto-Psy - Oxyde
A legendary track made by Stella Michelsen. Hardcore Techno. From France. Industrial. Raw. Surreal. Manipulated vocals. Ambient elements. Immortal.
3.No Name - Latex
Aggressive Overture produced by Poka Michelson. Extremely unorthodox. Noisy. Close to avantgarde music. Glorious.
4.Fields Of Defacement - Urticated
Acidcore. Experimental. Project by Lasse Steen. Unusual sound. Hypnotic melody. Very Techno-like.
5.Christoph De Babalon - Babylon 90210
Dreamy. Futuristic. Sci-Fi. Jungle, Breakcore. Done on an amiga 500. By a producer from Hamburg.
6.Amiga Shock Force - Keep Your Enemies Close
By cult producers from germany. Not really hardcore techno. Almost soft, calm. Use of breakbeats. Commodore Amiga sound. Digital, lofi, sizzling. Very good.
7.Cybermouse - My Dorectives
Proto-Doomcore techno track. Very unusual. Entrancing. Techno-style. Drone that gets modulated throughout the track. Mid-tempo. Use of loops. Creates a surreal feel.
8.Eradicator - You're Lieing Pig
The only breakcore track on the "Agit Prop" LP. very lo fi, very thin sound. strange sound fx, bleeps, almost videogame-like sounds. overdriven breakbeat rhythm running throughout the track. sparsely used other elements such as distorted guitars and an aggressive vocal sample. great work by Patric Catani under his "Eradicator" alias.
9.Fields Of Defacement - Bang-Bang (Live In Hamburg 96)
Live recording. Brutal. Acidcore. With gabber and general hardcore elements. Entrancing. Exalted. Shows the power of a hardcore techno live performance.
10.Taciturne - Mourning
Probably the best known track by Taciturne next to "Der Toten". was included in Manu Le Malin's "Biomechanik" compilation. Use of ambient sounds next to a midtempo, industrial hardcore techno drum. very minimal, very few elements, not even hi hats snares or other percussion apart from the drum. crispy noisy 8 bit commodore amiga sound. legendary track.
11.Eradicator - Thou Shall Kill
one of the best tracks on the agit prop LP. fast beats, guitars, synth, noises, and a strange vocal.
12.Cybermouse - Overreacting
electro beats. non four-to-the-floor rhythm. commodore amiga sound.
13.Monoloop - Underwater Trumpet
very interesting. unique early breakcore. drone, ambient sounds mixed with hard and rough breakbeats. very surreal, futuristic. this track could only have been produced in hamburg.
14.Auto-Psy - Neutron
experimental merciless distorted ambient hardcore techno.
15.Burning Lazy Persons - If The Truth Be Known
very brutal. one of the hardest by burning lazy persons. guitars and fast beats.
16.Orderly Chaos - Melt Away Love
pure ambient track. interesting, repeated melody. wonderful track.
17.No Name - Control
one of the most classic and most fierce hardcore tracks. if you haven't heard this one, you are missing out!
18.Mathey Olivier - Residential Volume
heavy and loud drums, noises, funny intro.
19.R.A.W. - Cold War Memory Nightmare
great, great early breakcore. interesting use of sounds and "melody". also a good but haunting cold-war feel.
20.EPC - Where Do You Go?
perfect hardcore track, with radar / space-transmission like sounds. very industrial.
21.Fields Of Defacement - Attached
one of the most bittersweet dark and disturbing melodies in hardcore techno. set to arrhythmic beats and fragile manipulated percussion.
22.Eradicator - Titan
included on the 90s hardcore cd compilation "mururoa test 1". truly experimental hard electronics.
23.Amiga Shock Force - Psycore Pt. 1
slow intro. amiga computer sounds. hissing, noisy, overdriven. surreal feel.
24.Taciturne - In Nomine Dei Nostri Satanas Luciferi Excelsi
samples the chuch of satan. non 4/4 beats. slow, distorted, noisy. dark and scary.
25.Trash Enemy HQ - Pestilence
truly interesting track. acid sounds. very dark and epic melody. no real hardcore beats and rhythm. close to industrial.
26.Eradicator - Brujeria
perfect bloodthirsty "e-de cologne"-style gabber. shouts and heavy metal guitars.
27.Christoph De Babalon - Pleased With Being Alive
one of our favorite christoph de babalon tracks. pure future and cyberdelic feel. a true classic.
28.Taciturne - Der Toten
the one and only fischkopf track that became a real "hit". was in high demand in the dutch gabber scene and ended up on countless compilations. as you probably already know this track, I don't need to describe it here :-)
29.Cybermouse - War Is Hell
maybe the most brutal track by cybermouse. early speedcore. very minimal. anti-war message.
30.M.C.P. - Overload 30303
arhythmic hardcore inferno
31.Auto-Psy - If
when i played this track, a guy once asked me "what kind of terrorist music is this?". good description!
32.Eradicator - M.C.P.
samples the movie tron. genuine 90s experimental hardcore.
33.No Name - Ydroid
Slick and without mercy.
34.Taciturne - Haematopan F
hardcore to blow your teeth out.
35.Cybermouse - Gulp
also one of cybermouse's most hardcore tracks. midtempo bounding 909 next to acid sounds.
36.Christoph De Babalon - I Own Death
the first track on his fisch 12". long, long intro. then it unleashes its full force with distorted breakbeats and a powerful melody.
37.Eradicator - Used Against Us (Remix)
Experimental gabber, ambient intro, rough sound, metal guitars. Juno hoover rave sounds. Murderous, nasty, and epic.
38.Auto-Psy - Escape
one of the most outstanding "hardcore" tracks ever. a symphony of drones, fx, noises and bassdrums. over seven minutes.
39.Burning Lazy Persons - Hyper Bitch
an early speed record. brutal and shocking.
40.No Name - Koma
so psycho, so evil, so mean. can you take it?
41.Auto-Psy - Go Out
a submarine is out of control, explosions shake the vessel, metal clanking is heard, and people scream in terror. then the sounds fade out into the cold dark blue depths.
42.Monoloop - Underwater Feelings (Live Alone Mix)
one of the most interesting tracks on this ep. fake live act. ferocious early breakcore with sophisticated production values.
43.Monoloop - Underwater Feelings
very sweet, very relaxed ambient sounds, mixed with hard breakbeats. pianos, water splashing, whales' whistling.
44.Amiga Shock Force - 24 Hour Connection
another true amigacore classic! ruthless and heavy.
45.Cybermouse - Datenvernichtung
comparable to early french noisecore. nice and evil.
46.Taciturne - Phenylephrin-Hydrochlorid
everyone knows "mourning" and "der toten", but this one is great too. proto-doomcore with a haunting drone, then gets faster towards the end.
47.Eradicator - Worringen
Heavy track with pounding steel drums, noisy synths, screams, everything you need.
48.Eradicator - Fucking Bitch Called Walker
Is that patric screaming? Menacing uncoventional hardcore gabber techno.
49.Cybermouse - Noishead
Early noise hardcore. The noise treatment for hardcore heads.
50.No Name - 01100010
didn't the german dance act "das modul" have a similar track title? but this one is hardcore, for sure!
51.Cybermouse - Adrenalin Structure
first track of the first fischkopf release. epic. was first released on an commodore amiga diskette magazine. not 4/4 hardcore, but wicked and strange electro sounds.
52.Monoloop - Chill Out
breakcore madness in between being chilled (as indicated by the piano) and being killed (as indicated by the screams).
53.M.C.P. - Overload MS 50
very aphex twin like, great experimental hardcore.
54.EPC - Autoplasie
Noisecore for your mind!
55.Burning Lazy Persons - Frd
a hammer coming down on your skull.
56.P. Server - Wires (Break)
a recording of audio wires that have been broken?
57.Fields Of Defacement - Uptight
melancholic melodic hard core tech-no?
58.EPC - R 624-2
Techno chopped up and turned into noise. Very analogue feel.
59.EPC - Persistance
Oh what a beatiful noise!
60.Eradicator - I Cum Blood
Evil experimental gabber insanity.
61.Auto-Psy - Ovoide
first track on this great ep. sounds that invoke the images of a runaway train accelerating straight to hell.
62.Auto-Psy - Andropose
the tranquil intro might give you the impression it's time to relax now, on this ep. but then the beats hammer on.
63.Eradicator - Destroy It Yourself (Remix)
March into hardcore disturbia..
64.Taciturne - Liquid Theatre
strange ambient intro. cult track.
65.M.C.P. - Overload RZ-1
hardcore machines got out of control and force people to dance to their death.
66.Auto-Psy - Clear
"null... null... null..." when i put on this record for the first time, i totally fell in love with this sound and all that followed.
67.P. Server - Ratings (Terror Unit H.Q.)
cool monotonous acidcore track.
68.M.C.P. - Overload Sigma
mental gabber up your cranium.
69.Amiga Shock Force - Sex, Mord Und Kunst
one of the fastest tracks of its era. hyperfast beats next to crazy rap samples.
70.Taciturne - Boys Don't Cry (Revisited)
robert smith would be proud!
71.No Name - Black Dream
help me. i hear voices. they are distorted. just as the drums.
72.No Name - 0.Vin .I
slowing down a bit. but not one bit less relentless.
73.Mathey Olivier - Easy Recording Aera
the last track of the last official fischkopf release. going out with a bang! and it's good-bye.
74.No Name - Kamasutra
i wonder what kamasutra technique inspires one to produce such devilish hardcore from hell like this. but then, it might be better to not find out.
75.Eradicator - Us Against Us
not as good as the revisit, but great nevertheless. tough experimental gabber.
76.Amiga Shock Force - Violent Geisha
mix between breakcore and early speedcore with an amiga feel.
77.Burning Lazy Persons - Poisoned Radio Wave
ooh, painful audio signals and overly distorted hardcore drums. i'm luving it.
78.Eradicator - Streptocock Gee
one of two true breakcore tracks patric catani did for fischkopf. excellent!
79.Taciturne - Praxis Dr. Fischer
Legendary drone-speedcore track. Doctor Fischer has the cure for you! Just go to his praxis.
80.Monoloop - The Dreamer
already a foreshadowing of the "ambient-breakcore" on fischkopf 13. epic!
81.Burning Lazy Persons - Garden Of The Permanent
this is crazy!
82.Burning Lazy Persons - Nakano Shit
man, this is some of the roughest hardcore that i ever heard.
83.EPC - Infectious Properties
these sounds bash right through your skull.
84.Fields Of Defacement - Found & Lost
Stones and flowers on the ground We are found and lost But love is gonna save us
85.Burning Lazy Persons - Fake
"die maschinen die maschinen die maschinen"? whatever. this machine kills!
86.Eradicator - Impulse To Destroy
the other "oversize" track on the agit prop LP. fierce drums and percussion. plenty of noise.
87.Eradicator - Distorted
Very distorted indeed! Fantastic.
88.Eradicator - Split Wide Open
Powerful radical hardcore with acid elements.
89.Burning Lazy Persons - Catastro
The overdose of noise and drums.
90.Taciturne - Krach-Aran-RMX
Now this is just krach! But a good one.
91.Eradicator - Cologne Boring M.F.
Hyperfast mental metal hardcore madness.
92.Orderly Chaos - 45m
The so real dark ambient experience.
93.Burning Lazy Persons - Kone Kane Dayone
a very very wild ride.
94.P. Server - Pulley
excellent lasse steen production. has some rave elements.
95.Amiga Shock Force - Mass Appeal Madness
one of the most "poppy" tracks on fischkopf as it samples james brown. crazy hardcore gabber.
96.Jean Bach - Tausend Stimmen
very crazy and over the top track by jean bach. heavy distortion.
97.Eradicator - Destroy It Yourself
Sepultura samples, weird noises, gabber drums - perfect!
98.Christoph De Babalon - Promise, Broken
total future psychedelic breakcore.
99.Trash Enemy H. Q. - Braintraining
noise and distortion with a painful sound without drums or anything else.
100.Taciturne - Avarie De Machine
made up of sounds of heavy machinery? great!
101.No Name - Message
we got the message and the message was clear.
102.No name - Help
get on a hardcore trip faster than light.
103.Eradicator - Starving
epic ambient intro.
104.No Name - Start E·nd
it starts and ends in torturous hardcore agony.
105.No Name - A
"a" total french insane techno track.
106.Monoloop - Second Trumpet
in style similar to the other 3 tracks on fisch 13. has a heavy jazz feel.
107.Shangoe - Army Of Darkness
interesting breakcore out of hamburg.
108.Eradicator - Agitprop Troop
interesting noise experiment.
109.Eradicator - Forkboy
early speedcore track. guitars and hyperspeed drums.
110.Taciturne - Dexpanthenol
riots of noise, distortion, and brutality.
111.Monoloop - Drum Da Style
stylish early breakcore.
112.Mathey Olivier - Second Transmission
mad scientist hardcore.
113.Mathey Olivier - Well Done!
the acid sounds from outer space invade the second part of this great french hardcore track. well done indeed!
114.P. Server - Epigraph
lasse steen delivers with this great dark acidtechno track.
115.Taciturne - Krank
total "kranker" hardcore!
116.P. Server - Plunger
all power to the 303!
117.P. Server - Psave
legit 90s acid hardcore. rough production values, almost as if mastered from cassette tape.
118.P. Server - Dispatching
hardcore up your acid!
119.Fields Of Defacement - Dark.R
the 808 gets the full-on distortion treatment.
120.Eradicator - Enter Three Witches
one of two "oversize" tracks on the agit prop LP. on four-to-the floor beats. ambient outro.
121.Eradicator - Widerstand
noisy agit prop sounds!
122.P. Server - Banging Happening
gabber-acid.
123.Fields Of Defacement - Corkscrew
Wonderful monotonous hardcore without bleeps or melodies.
124.Amiga Shock Force - Shoot 'em Breax
A perfect early breakcore track. Hip hop and guitars.
125.Cybermouse - Obstreperous
Very experimental techno / hardcore track. Acid like sounds, great use of percussion, and a sci-fi feel.
126.P. Server - Metal Disposition
acid gabber brutality.
127.Burning Lazy Persons - "R"
vicious nice and nasty track by nawoto suzuki.
128.Burning Lazy Persons - Dorami De Onanie (240 Vers.)
faster onanism.
129.Johnny Ego - Untitled
again an interesting hamburg breakbeat track.
130.Orderly Chaos - Pine
painful sounds and pure ambient.
131.R.A.W. - Sudden Death
the other r.a.w. track from the otaku compilation. impressive as well!
132.EPC & A.N.T.I. - Sharpomatic
noisy hardcore with a total "piss off!" attitude.
133.Burning Lazy Persons - Dorami De Onanie
onanism will give you a mental disorder that allows you to create wonderful nasty hardcore tracks like this.
134.Burning Lazy Persons - Fish Tenpuraaaaa
fish fried well, and served for this solid hardcore dish.
135.Burning Lazy Persons - Mongolian Chop
typical nawoto suzuki. mental and dangerous. awesome.
136.Burning Lazy Persons - Niko Niko Satujin Dan
ooh I'm freaking out.
137.Taciturne - Boys Don't Cry RMX
the original "remix" version. i'm also lovin' it.
138.Taciturne - Evil Dead
a kick straight to the face.
139.P. Server - Intensioner
wonderful acid techno.
140.Eradicator - Liebe Und Verbrechen
very strange and surreal gabber track.
141.Monoloop - For The Lord
monumental, experimental and exceptional breakcore with a runtime of over 7 minutes.
142.Burning Lazy Persons - Rotter…damn
funny piss take on rotterdam hardcore. includes a piano, but not in a typical happy gabber way!
143.Burning Lazy Persons - T.C.H.C.
nasty and nice.
144.Monoloop - Kills Again
a track to die for.
145.Monoloop - Free Man
noone is ever free. except the experimental hardcore resistance! (or, in this case, early breakcore).
146.Taciturne - Nightchildren RMX
lullaby of terror for the night children.
147.Taciturne - Mo Punk RMX
do you feel lucky, punk?
148.Monoloop - She's A Lion
early breakcore from hamburg
So, that's it! Over and out. Did you like our charts? Let us know!

For anyone who wants to see how things began.
https://www.reddit.com/HFY/s/S97b2fqIjx
“In what universe would I ever do you a favor? “ I say, sweeping the floor of the reinforced barn.
“It’s not a favor, it’s a trade, bud.
What do you want in return? “ Trenchcoat asks from within the coffin-like cage.
“To be back home, 8 months ago. “ I reply.
Over the past few weeks I’ve managed to integrate myself into the day to day life on the farm. Things are still a grim, horrifying slog, but with every day it gets a bit easier to deal with.
“Give me something I can do. “ The creature pleads.
“Why, so I can wind up on the end of another ‘ Gotcha’ moment? I’m good. “ is my answer.
A few minutes of silence go by, Augustus breaks it.
“I don’t know many secrets of the universe. Facts, not really my bag. But I know a couple.
How about I share one with you?
No one, not the pope, not my brother, not the shit-bird perched on the highest branch of my twisted family tree, knows what happens when you die.
Some of us never will, of course. Others have ways of avoiding it, but at the end of the day, when the lights truly go out, we know next to nothing.
We do know one thing though. There is judgement, by who? Who knows? Why? Not important.
But at the end of the day, if your battery can’t be recharged, you really want to be thinking about how many marks are on each side of the ledger. “
I don’t reply, and for the next hour or so I ignore the pleading and hinting Trenchcoat does.
But that night, as I sip acidic tea, and try to get a handle on how in the fuck old televisions function, his offer is at the forefront of my mind.
He wants to kill, specifically 6 teenagers who, according to him, have been murdering classmates yearly in a twisted ritual.
He wants me to think this is some kind of noble act, he frames it as almost superheroic. The evil prick knows how I feel, knows that I see the blood on my hands every day, and would kill ( possibly literally) for some way to atone.
Is it a play? I honestly don’t think so, something about how eager the twisted thing is, about how he’s treating the situation as a buyer’s market makes me think something about this makes it important to him.
He offers me everything besides safety and protection. I’m desperate for help, but I have no way to hold him to any agreement.
So the thought rolls around in my mind, staving off the few hours of sleep I get.
“Okay, so, I have it on good authority that tea is supposed to taste better over here. What the hell is wrong with this? “ I say, sitting around an outside table with Sylvia, Dafydd and Colin.
Sylvia smiles, “ Barium, calcium, and a touch of castor oil. “
I look at the brew, then at her.
“If I had told you when you got here you need to drink that to mitigate the effects of working with void touched objects and creatures, you’d have assumed the worst, and found a way to avoid drinking it.
Good to see you becoming more perceptive though. “ Sylvia explains.
“That’s called paranoia, Syl. “ I reply.
She laughs, lighting a cigarette.
“Do you know why I’ve let you figure things out on your own? “ The ancient woman asks.
“Accepted? Yes. Understood, not in the slightest. “ I answer, wondering what sadist invented the scone.
“It’s because I need a leader. Someone who can understand, not a boy who puts his head down and listens to orders.
Someone who can make their own decisions when the time comes.
And I think that time is coming soon. “ Her statement feels like a question.
“If I chose to be here I’d be honored.” I counter.
“That attitude on the other hand… needs work.
Nikolas, today, we talk about what’s really going on.
We play a role in a much larger organization, us, and other families like us, are the ‘boots on the ground’ so to speak.
Our job is not to capture creatures, or horde esoteric goods. We do not foil the schemes of demons, nor blind those who look too deeply into the abyss.
We’re given information about events that could steer the path of humanity into a brick wall. And our job is to make sure they don’t happen. “ Sylvia reveals.
“Something is happening with these fights? “ I ask.
“As I said, perceptive.
Yes, it could be next week, it could be in a decade or two. Right now, we know very little about it, other than when it happens, it would be in our best interests to be of a high standing in the pits. “ She replies.
I absorb the information, and t drug laced tea in equal measure. As I do, I feel something, I feel I’m a part of what’s going on.
This is going to sound dumb as hell, but up until this point I hadn’t been taking things seriously. Don’t get me wrong, death is on the table, and I was trying to avoid that. But I was just treading water, hoping something or someone came by and to get me out of this situation.
But as Syl lays things out, I start to think of my place here, what I can be doing to better my state.
“Here is the part where you avoid telling me why you couldn’t have used anyone around here. “ I prod.
I keep her gaze, Colin and Dafydd shift uncomfortably.
“Augustus, he’s a tricky one. But a very lucky find for us.
I’ve tried 2 others. A boy and a girl, both I practically raised.
Marco, he was a warrior. But the demon got in his head. There was nothing that could be done beyond end his suffering.
Zelma, I won’t talk about.
That thing, it has a way of turning someone’s best traits against them. You, are a blank slate, but you’re family. You’re my best guess as to how we can use him to our advantage.
And this is why I need you, not to listen, but to understand. To see what’s happening, and make your own decisions. If I were to give you my knowledge, if I were to arm you with the best weapons, and the most powerful esoteric objects I know. He’d just have more to turn against you. “ Sylvia’s revelation scares me and puts a massive weight on my shoulders all at the same time.
Confidence and fear are both dangerous emotions. The two of them are almost like drugs in a way.
After eight months of mainlining fear, the tiny line of confidence Sylvia gave me, went straight to my head.
Trenchcoat told me where to find a video file. And after a couple of weeks of running it through every possible test I could, to check for any kind of manipulation, supernatural or otherwise, I watched it.
I was confident that the world would be much better off without the people committing the vicious acts contained in those twenty minutes of footage.
A teenage view of morality, I admit. But what do you want, I’m a teenager.
We watch the abandoned house from across the street. It’s a dingy, urban blight affected suburb, that being said, how no one seems to notice the seven foot freak with me, I have no idea.
The kid inside smoking stolen cigarettes and illegally supplied booze is a husky young guy of about 14. The half dozen kids that show up a couple hours later look closer to my age, last couple of years of high school I’m guessing.
The way they get into the house tells me they’ve done this before. The backpacks they all carry tell me they’re there for a purpose.
“How fucking funny would it be if I just killed you here and took off? “ Trenchcoat says, looming behind me.
I tense.
“It’s a joke. Out of my whole rotten family, Art and I, are close. I’m not going anywhere.
Unfortunately for you. “ Trenchcoat shoves me to the ground as he walks toward the house.
We get in through a basement window, I fit easily, Trenchcoat contorts his body to fit through the thin opening, somehow doing so silently.
I keep hearing Sylvia in my head. Telling me how she needs someone that can make his own decisions.
As I stand in the litter strewn basement, beside a creature with child murder on it’s mind I question the decision that I made.
At first the illumination is dim, nothing more than scraps of moonlight filtered through splintered wood. But with an industrial click, suddenly a half dozen lightbulbs bathe the basement in harsh, yellowish light.
Harsh, but not harsh enough to cause the reaction I see from Trenchcoat.
He squints and tries, unsuccessfully to turn away from the lights. Something about them is causing him discomfort. I get my hopes up for a moment he’s going to burst into flame or turn into dust or something, but no dice.
The sight of the walking nightmare looking pained and confused makes me panic. But before I can think of how I fucked up, I hear a voice.
The room, by the sounds of it, the entire house, has been rigged with speakers. Cleverly recessed in sconces and corners.
“Augi, long time no see. And I see you brought a little Renfield fella with you. “ The voice is modulated, Trenchcoat looks curious for a moment.
“Who, is this? You that clown that’s been fucking with Art?” He guesses.
The voice laughs, “Nope.
Who I am, is a guy who managed to find a few boxes of lightbulbs from ’93.
Then again, with eBay, that could make me just about anyone. “
Trenchcoat turns and looks toward the window we came in. He reaches a hand toward it, stopping a few inches away.
“That’s fucking interesting. “ He says, eyes darting around the room.
“Isn’t it though? “ The voice replies, clearly hearing the creature’s whisper, “ Tonight you get the pay for centuries of the worst shit committed by man or beast. I’ve made sure of that. No one in this house is going anywhere for the next 8 hours.
I’m sure the rest of the houseguests are pretty confused as to what’s going on. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so let me give you the Cliff’s notes.
You kids have been killing a monster a year for half a decade. You were the perfect bait, and I have faith you’ll be able to outwit Augi long enough to make it out of here.
If not, you’ll still have helped kill one of the worst things to walk the face of the earth. “
“What the hell is he talking about? “ I ask, a sinking feeling in my gut.
“That’s what you’re worried about right now?
Yeah, these kids are more Scooby gang than Manson family. Don’t blame me for the fact it only took an out of context exorcism video and some promises of making things right with the universe to get you on board with killing them. “ Trenchcoat spits.
I feel afraid, stupid and small. Which is to say, lately, business as usual.
I begin to break lightbulbs, I notice no runes, or anything else that would indicate they have any kind of supernatural origin.
As the basement dims, Trenchcoat starts to breathe easier.
“What’s going on, what stopped you from leaving? “ I ask.
“This little shit is playing The Game. “ Trenchcoat says to himself as much as to me. He looks deep in thought, inspecting the glass from the bulbs.
“What are you talking about? “ I say, my voice cracking slightly.
I hear noises upstairs, frantic foot falls. Indecipherable shouting.
Trenchcoat turns to me, exasperated and filled with anger.
“You’ve heard of ‘Rules’ right? All that ‘Don’t turn left on East street at 3:24 am kind of shit? “ The creature starts, “More and more of them popping up lately. Can’t miss the things.
Well, your kind seems great at finding them, but fucking awful at figuring out what they are. It’s not someone’s new job, or creepy school. The answer is so damned simple, but all of you’ve missed it.
It's a game. It’s, The Game.
It’s ran by the thickest branches of my family tree, and the stakes are high enough even I don’t really understand.
And whoever has us here, he’s weaponized it. The crazy fuck. “
“Call on your family for help then. “ I say, starting to deal with the fear and confusion.
“You first. “ Is Trenchcoat’s reply.
I get his point, and for a twisted, shitty moment, I find myself relating to the murderous thing I’ve been saddled with.
“So what’s the plan? “ I ask.
“Get my hands on whoever’s been stalking me. Between A and B, probably kill those little do-gooders upstairs out of spite.
I need you to circumvent rules we come across. Humans need to agree to follow the rules, it’s why people encounter them in jobs and schools so much. I’m not human, if you haven’t noticed. I don’t get a choice. “ I’m shaking my head as Augustus relates his plan.
“We’re not hurting those kids. “ I say defiantly.
“I’m sure you’ll have no problem with that.
But I’m a God damned child killing monster, bud! How long is that going to take to sink the fuck in?
Me not doing what I do, isn’t like giving up smokes. Think of it like not having a slash for months on end. Sooner or later, like it or not, I’m either finding a bathroom or pissing my pants. “ the rant scares me, but it makes me think.
Something about Augustus, it seems very, 90’s. Whoever was on the speakers was talking about the lightbulbs being from ’93. I’m picking up on a very distinct pattern.
I file that information with the rest of the disconnected lore I’ve managed to find on Trenchcoat as I follow him up the steep, narrow set of stairs.
He whips the thin wood door open, taking an aggressive, lurching step into the livingroom beyond. Surely ready to dispense too far quips and limitless violence, as per usual.
But that doesn’t happen, his rage filled scowl turns into a look of resignation, “Fuck”, is the monster’s last word before he disappears.
I cautiously walk up the loose splinter ridden stairs, expecting Augustus to be waiting around the corner, or engaged in combat with some other horror.
But once I get to the top, there’s nothing more sinister than a livingroom covered in dust and graffiti strewn with old bottles and new stains.
I know my chance when I see it. The particle board sealing the bay window is rotten, the glass long since broken.
No monster, no crazy family, I’ll take my chances with the streets of the U. K.
I tap the crumbling wood with a foot, it rattles, it won’t take much to make a hole.
I line up a kick, freedom no more than a quarter inch of rotten wood away.
“I wouldn’t do that. “ Says a voice behind me, male, around my age I’d guess, but with a confidence that makes me listen, “ Rigged with a load of C4 in the window frame.
Don’t take my word for it, guy wasn’t very subtle. ”
Sure enough, I see small wires running along the edges of the frame and embedded in the particle board.
I turn around, the six people standing in front of me have a vibe I can only describe as severe.
“Are we going to have issues? “ a slight, dark skinned guy asks.
“You making threats? “ I reply.
“No, he isn’t. “ it’s the same voice that warned me about the explosives. It belongs to a squared jawed kid with short black hair, he’s wearing a grey hoodie, and separates himself from the group. “ Call me Kent, and I’m in charge of making threats.
Sid, he’s our people person, he’s just trying to see if you’re someone we need to worry about. “
“We don’t have time to figure this kid out, leave him. “ a short, ginger girl says.
“Ami, why don’t I stay out of equipment, and you and Kent let me figure this kid out?” Sid says.
“I’m Nik. “ I volunteer.
“Good to meet you Nik. “ Sid says, walking around Kent, “Didn’t mean to start things off on the wrong foot.
We’ve just gotten used to doing these kinds of things in our own way over the past bit. We get a little… weird around this time of year if I’m being honest. “
I nod, apprehensive at giving any kind of detailed response.
“Derik” says a tall, pale guy, “ Research. “
“Liam. “ a tanned boy in a flannel shirt and deep blue jeans tells me, “ Oxford doesn’t talk, accident a couple of years back. I’m logistics, he figures spooky shit out. “
Oxford is thin and bald, his face looks much older than it should. Like he’s the victim of some kind of wasting disease.
Telling these kids the truth would be, complicated. And something about their war vet demeanor, makes me want to keep things simple.
So I give them a version of the truth. One where I was plucked from my room by Trenchcoat, and brought here for a slow death.
They buy it. I think.
“Well, I don’t know what this Jigsaw wannabe has planned, but trust me when I say, it can’t be much worse than the things we’ve went through. “ Kent says, trying to be reassuring.
“Just, one more thing. “ Sid begins, “ Why all the scars? “
I know I’ve won most of the group over, but I don’t like the look Sid is giving me.
“Work on a farm, on top of that, the family owns an auction. Lots of bent steel and splinters, what can I say? “ I say, trying to sound casual.
“Fair enough, that accent though. “ Sid’s look becomes almost predatory as he talks.
“Immigration my guy. What’s with the third degree? “ I reply.
“We’ve just met and I’ve only asked three questions.
Humor me here though.
You get taken in the night by that thing that winked out of existence.
Seems pretty nice of him to let you put on shoes. “ Sid lets his statement hang.
Kent turns, I don’t like where this is going. Panic and fear start to well up.
“What’re you thinking Sid? “ Kent asks.
“Kid’s lying. But he’s good at it. “ Sid answers.
“You saying this has turned into a, me, situation? “ Kent’s question starts a deep pit in my stomach.
“I don’t know if we need to go that far. But I don’t like the idea of him having seen our faces. I think this is a Liam situation. “ As Sid says this I look to Liam, who already seems deep in thought.
“Local cops will back our story, but he could go beyond them.
We tie him up until all of this is done, and we get some video of him putting a blade into the body upstairs. He goes telling any stories, it’s us and the locals versus some Yank on video stabbing the kid. “ Liam suggests.
I tried to fight, it went, embarrassingly. Kent had me on the ground in some kind of arm lock in about a second.
I’m bound to an old wooden chair with electrical cords, dragged into a room on the second floor where the chubby kid from before lays face down in a coagulated pool of his own blood. Surrounded by the trappings of misspent youth.
The door locks, and I stare at the corpse, wondering what in the hell went on up here, and in what universe are these psychopaths anything other than what they seemed on screen.
Time becomes almost malleable. I’m terrified to the point where every moment seems to stretch out forever.
Then, I hear it. A wet, organic noise. It starts below the body, and slowly starts to spread.
After a minute or two, the body starts to jerk and twitch. The room is dim as hell, but some kind of ropey, flesh-like substance, is sealing off the door.
I watch as the corpse clumsily gets to it’s feet. It’s skin pale, it’s throat slit to the point of near decapitation.
The head falls backward, obscenely with a small spurt of thick blood.
I scream, I thought I’d been getting used to being face to face with monsters. But fully bound, inches away from a kid that seems to be filled with a twisting mass of barbed, writhing, intestine like tentacles, I realize I’m not used to shit.
The ropey mass forms the barest suggestion of features, a shifting, lumpen mass of ever moving tendrils coming from what used to be the kid’s neck.
The sound spreads more, cracks in the floorboards and walls begin to show hints of the tendrils filling them in like spray foam.
No one is hearing my screams, or if they are, they have no interest in helping.
Ever wonder how you’d handle torture? I think if you’re the kind of person to be reading this, it’s likely you have.
I started by pissing myself.
The second the thin tendril touches my hand, I feel a blinding, flensing pain. I can do nothing but watch, as thousands of nearly hair thin spines tear and consume my flesh. As it slowly, almost, curiously makes it’s way up my arm, it leaves a bloodless, scarred furrow about an eighth of an inch deep.
My second reaction was to lose any pretense at defiance or dignity. I thrash and scream, beg and offer. All of this turning into choked sobs as the thing starts to do much of the same with another tendril.
It felt like I was in hell, every inch of me nothing more than a canvas for this artist of misery.
But pain, it can only go so far. Whether we’re talking about my tolerance, or this thing’s interest.
Mutilation, the brutal wedding of pain and loss. That was it’s next step.
A thick, almost centipede like tendril sits on my pinky like a hot iron. I can only watch in horror as I see fat, then muscle, then bone, then, nothing.
My voice shreds, I tear my wrists and ankles trying desperately to break the expertly tied wires.
My mind is at the breaking point, the creature in front of my makes a terrible, high pitched keening I assume is laughter.
My body is a roadmap of scarred pits and lines. My hand sports a cleanly severed finger. Fuck me, I wish things ended there.
Of all the important parts of the human body, the eye, tends to feel the least pain. Which isn’t to say, as I watched the greedy, grasping claws slowly take pieces of one of mine, it didn’t hurt, but the worst part, was knowing what was happening.
The vision in my left eye begins to distort at first, the edges getting blurry, then going dark. Bit by bit, chunk by irreplaceable chunk, the creature takes half my vision.
I can feel the shifting air on the bare socket, to call what I’m doing screaming, would be understating things to the point of absurdity.
My brain reels at what has just happened. I can feel my grip on reality begin to loosen, pain, worse than can bare, loss of half my sight, it’s too much.
My brain feels filled with static, for a few brief moments I swear, I can hear someone, a voice, trying to tell me something.
But then, a smell hits me. Something so foul, so alien, it yanks me back from the brink of disassociation. I gag and choke, as the air becomes thick with the rotten, chemical reek.
Then, I see it, I see, him.
As randomly as he disappeared, in an instant Trenchcoat is in the room.
He’s torn apart, wounds so deep and ragged, I can see the door on the other side of the room through the worst of them.
One arm is a twisted, broken mess, the flesh jacket torn to shreds of necrotic tissue.
The look on his face is panic, paranoia. A rictus grin of someone that has been kept on his toes for entirely too long.
He trembles and heaves, looking like he could fall over at any second.
He points his good arm at the tendril creature, who I notice has a too familiar eye suspended in it’s shifting features.
“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about the motherfucker who just made me kill my favorite cousin, would you? “ Trenchcoat asks, his voice cracked, and strained.
He gets a confused keening in response.
“Bad day for you then. “ Augustus says.
There is no style to his violence, Trenchcoat grabs the shifting mass, his wicked, claw tipped fingers angling themselves in tendrils. As he lifts the thing, floorboards break, and it’s torn free from the root-like system it was creating in the room.
Three brutal slams cover me in ichor and pieces of creature. Trenchcoat tosses the mewling, twitching pile in a corner and looks at me with disgust.
“You let that thing do this to you? Fuckin’ pathetic, bud.
And who tied you up? “ The nightmare I’ve been cursed with chides me.
“The kids downstairs. “ I say only now realizing I’ve still been sobbing.
One handed, Trenchcoat snaps the wires, then stumbles backward, slowly sliding down the wall.
He coughs, grey, bloody phlegm hitting the ground.
“So, what’s the play here? If this shit broke you, I could use the spare parts, if not, well, you know what the Bible says.
An eye for an eye. “ Trenchcoat grins as he talks, nearly on the brink of death.
And that’s where I think I’m going to leave things. Because, honestly I don’t know what I’m choosing.
I’m mutilated, half blind, using too much of my energy typing to strangers online about things because, I’m so fucking alone here.
If you hear from me again, I hope I made the right move. If not, take this as a lesson on what happens when you screw around with the occult.

For anyone who wants to see how I got into this situation.
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/s/R0DAycoVIm
“In what universe would I ever do you a favor? “ I say, sweeping the floor of the reinforced barn.
“It’s not a favor, it’s a trade, bud.
What do you want in return? “ Trenchcoat asks from within the coffin-like cage.
“To be back home, 8 months ago. “ I reply.
Over the past few weeks I’ve managed to integrate myself into the day to day life on the farm. Things are still a grim, horrifying slog, but with every day it gets a bit easier to deal with.
“Give me something I can do. “ The creature pleads.
“Why, so I can wind up on the end of another ‘ Gotcha’ moment? I’m good. “ is my answer.
A few minutes of silence go by, Augustus breaks it.
“I don’t know many secrets of the universe. Facts, not really my bag. But I know a couple.
How about I share one with you?
No one, not the pope, not my brother, not the shit-bird perched on the highest branch of my twisted family tree, knows what happens when you die.
Some of us never will, of course. Others have ways of avoiding it, but at the end of the day, when the lights truly go out, we know next to nothing.
We do know one thing though. There is judgement, by who? Who knows? Why? Not important.
But at the end of the day, if your battery can’t be recharged, you really want to be thinking about how many marks are on each side of the ledger. “
I don’t reply, and for the next hour or so I ignore the pleading and hinting Trenchcoat does.
But that night, as I sip acidic tea, and try to get a handle on how in the fuck old televisions function, his offer is at the forefront of my mind.
He wants to kill, specifically 6 teenagers who, according to him, have been murdering classmates yearly in a twisted ritual.
He wants me to think this is some kind of noble act, he frames it as almost superheroic. The evil prick knows how I feel, knows that I see the blood on my hands every day, and would kill ( possibly literally) for some way to atone.
Is it a play? I honestly don’t think so, something about how eager the twisted thing is, about how he’s treating the situation as a buyer’s market makes me think something about this makes it important to him.
He offers me everything besides safety and protection. I’m desperate for help, but I have no way to hold him to any agreement.
So the thought rolls around in my mind, staving off the few hours of sleep I get.
“Okay, so, I have it on good authority that tea is supposed to taste better over here. What the hell is wrong with this? “ I say, sitting around an outside table with Sylvia, Dafydd and Colin.
Sylvia smiles, “ Barium, calcium, and a touch of castor oil. “
I look at the brew, then at her.
“If I had told you when you got here you need to drink that to mitigate the effects of working with void touched objects and creatures, you’d have assumed the worst, and found a way to avoid drinking it.
Good to see you becoming more perceptive though. “ Sylvia explains.
“That’s called paranoia, Syl. “ I reply.
She laughs, lighting a cigarette.
“Do you know why I’ve let you figure things out on your own? “ The ancient woman asks.
“Accepted? Yes. Understood, not in the slightest. “ I answer, wondering what sadist invented the scone.
“It’s because I need a leader. Someone who can understand, not a boy who puts his head down and listens to orders.
Someone who can make their own decisions when the time comes.
And I think that time is coming soon. “ Her statement feels like a question.
“If I chose to be here I’d be honored.” I counter.
“That attitude on the other hand… needs work.
Nikolas, today, we talk about what’s really going on.
We play a role in a much larger organization, us, and other families like us, are the ‘boots on the ground’ so to speak.
Our job is not to capture creatures, or horde esoteric goods. We do not foil the schemes of demons, nor blind those who look too deeply into the abyss.
We’re given information about events that could steer the path of humanity into a brick wall. And our job is to make sure they don’t happen. “ Sylvia reveals.
“Something is happening with these fights? “ I ask.
“As I said, perceptive.
Yes, it could be next week, it could be in a decade or two. Right now, we know very little about it, other than when it happens, it would be in our best interests to be of a high standing in the pits. “ She replies.
I absorb the information, and t drug laced tea in equal measure. As I do, I feel something, I feel I’m a part of what’s going on.
This is going to sound dumb as hell, but up until this point I hadn’t been taking things seriously. Don’t get me wrong, death is on the table, and I was trying to avoid that. But I was just treading water, hoping something or someone came by and to get me out of this situation.
But as Syl lays things out, I start to think of my place here, what I can be doing to better my state.
“Here is the part where you avoid telling me why you couldn’t have used anyone around here. “ I prod.
I keep her gaze, Colin and Dafydd shift uncomfortably.
“Augustus, he’s a tricky one. But a very lucky find for us.
I’ve tried 2 others. A boy and a girl, both I practically raised.
Marco, he was a warrior. But the demon got in his head. There was nothing that could be done beyond end his suffering.
Zelma, I won’t talk about.
That thing, it has a way of turning someone’s best traits against them. You, are a blank slate, but you’re family. You’re my best guess as to how we can use him to our advantage.
And this is why I need you, not to listen, but to understand. To see what’s happening, and make your own decisions. If I were to give you my knowledge, if I were to arm you with the best weapons, and the most powerful esoteric objects I know. He’d just have more to turn against you. “ Sylvia’s revelation scares me and puts a massive weight on my shoulders all at the same time.
Confidence and fear are both dangerous emotions. The two of them are almost like drugs in a way.
After eight months of mainlining fear, the tiny line of confidence Sylvia gave me, went straight to my head.
Trenchcoat told me where to find a video file. And after a couple of weeks of running it through every possible test I could, to check for any kind of manipulation, supernatural or otherwise, I watched it.
I was confident that the world would be much better off without the people committing the vicious acts contained in those twenty minutes of footage.
A teenage view of morality, I admit. But what do you want, I’m a teenager.
We watch the abandoned house from across the street. It’s a dingy, urban blight affected suburb, that being said, how no one seems to notice the seven foot freak with me, I have no idea.
The kid inside smoking stolen cigarettes and illegally supplied booze is a husky young guy of about 14. The half dozen kids that show up a couple hours later look closer to my age, last couple of years of high school I’m guessing.
The way they get into the house tells me they’ve done this before. The backpacks they all carry tell me they’re there for a purpose.
“How fucking funny would it be if I just killed you here and took off? “ Trenchcoat says, looming behind me.
I tense.
“It’s a joke. Out of my whole rotten family, Art and I, are close. I’m not going anywhere.
Unfortunately for you. “ Trenchcoat shoves me to the ground as he walks toward the house.
We get in through a basement window, I fit easily, Trenchcoat contorts his body to fit through the thin opening, somehow doing so silently.
I keep hearing Sylvia in my head. Telling me how she needs someone that can make his own decisions.
As I stand in the litter strewn basement, beside a creature with child murder on it’s mind I question the decision that I made.
At first the illumination is dim, nothing more than scraps of moonlight filtered through splintered wood. But with an industrial click, suddenly a half dozen lightbulbs bathe the basement in harsh, yellowish light.
Harsh, but not harsh enough to cause the reaction I see from Trenchcoat.
He squints and tries, unsuccessfully to turn away from the lights. Something about them is causing him discomfort. I get my hopes up for a moment he’s going to burst into flame or turn into dust or something, but no dice.
The sight of the walking nightmare looking pained and confused makes me panic. But before I can think of how I fucked up, I hear a voice.
The room, by the sounds of it, the entire house, has been rigged with speakers. Cleverly recessed in sconces and corners.
“Augi, long time no see. And I see you brought a little Renfield fella with you. “ The voice is modulated, Trenchcoat looks curious for a moment.
“Who, is this? You that clown that’s been fucking with Art?” He guesses.
The voice laughs, “Nope.
Who I am, is a guy who managed to find a few boxes of lightbulbs from ’93.
Then again, with eBay, that could make me just about anyone. “
Trenchcoat turns and looks toward the window we came in. He reaches a hand toward it, stopping a few inches away.
“That’s fucking interesting. “ He says, eyes darting around the room.
“Isn’t it though? “ The voice replies, clearly hearing the creature’s whisper, “ Tonight you get the pay for centuries of the worst shit committed by man or beast. I’ve made sure of that. No one in this house is going anywhere for the next 8 hours.
I’m sure the rest of the houseguests are pretty confused as to what’s going on. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so let me give you the Cliff’s notes.
You kids have been killing a monster a year for half a decade. You were the perfect bait, and I have faith you’ll be able to outwit Augi long enough to make it out of here.
If not, you’ll still have helped kill one of the worst things to walk the face of the earth. “
“What the hell is he talking about? “ I ask, a sinking feeling in my gut.
“That’s what you’re worried about right now?
Yeah, these kids are more Scooby gang than Manson family. Don’t blame me for the fact it only took an out of context exorcism video and some promises of making things right with the universe to get you on board with killing them. “ Trenchcoat spits.
I feel afraid, stupid and small. Which is to say, lately, business as usual.
I begin to break lightbulbs, I notice no runes, or anything else that would indicate they have any kind of supernatural origin.
As the basement dims, Trenchcoat starts to breathe easier.
“What’s going on, what stopped you from leaving? “ I ask.
“This little shit is playing The Game. “ Trenchcoat says to himself as much as to me. He looks deep in thought, inspecting the glass from the bulbs.
“What are you talking about? “ I say, my voice cracking slightly.
I hear noises upstairs, frantic foot falls. Indecipherable shouting.
Trenchcoat turns to me, exasperated and filled with anger.
“You’ve heard of ‘Rules’ right? All that ‘Don’t turn left on East street at 3:24 am kind of shit? “ The creature starts, “More and more of them popping up lately. Can’t miss the things.
Well, your kind seems great at finding them, but fucking awful at figuring out what they are. It’s not someone’s new job, or creepy school. The answer is so damned simple, but all of you’ve missed it.
It's a game. It’s, The Game.
It’s ran by the thickest branches of my family tree, and the stakes are high enough even I don’t really understand.
And whoever has us here, he’s weaponized it. The crazy fuck. “
“Call on your family for help then. “ I say, starting to deal with the fear and confusion.
“You first. “ Is Trenchcoat’s reply.
I get his point, and for a twisted, shitty moment, I find myself relating to the murderous thing I’ve been saddled with.
“So what’s the plan? “ I ask.
“Get my hands on whoever’s been stalking me. Between A and B, probably kill those little do-gooders upstairs out of spite.
I need you to circumvent rules we come across. Humans need to agree to follow the rules, it’s why people encounter them in jobs and schools so much. I’m not human, if you haven’t noticed. I don’t get a choice. “ I’m shaking my head as Augustus relates his plan.
“We’re not hurting those kids. “ I say defiantly.
“I’m sure you’ll have no problem with that.
But I’m a God damned child killing monster, bud! How long is that going to take to sink the fuck in?
Me not doing what I do, isn’t like giving up smokes. Think of it like not having a slash for months on end. Sooner or later, like it or not, I’m either finding a bathroom or pissing my pants. “ the rant scares me, but it makes me think.
Something about Augustus, it seems very, 90’s. Whoever was on the speakers was talking about the lightbulbs being from ’93. I’m picking up on a very distinct pattern.
I file that information with the rest of the disconnected lore I’ve managed to find on Trenchcoat as I follow him up the steep, narrow set of stairs.
He whips the thin wood door open, taking an aggressive, lurching step into the livingroom beyond. Surely ready to dispense too far quips and limitless violence, as per usual.
But that doesn’t happen, his rage filled scowl turns into a look of resignation, “Fuck”, is the monster’s last word before he disappears.
I cautiously walk up the loose splinter ridden stairs, expecting Augustus to be waiting around the corner, or engaged in combat with some other horror.
But once I get to the top, there’s nothing more sinister than a livingroom covered in dust and graffiti strewn with old bottles and new stains.
I know my chance when I see it. The particle board sealing the bay window is rotten, the glass long since broken.
No monster, no crazy family, I’ll take my chances with the streets of the U. K.
I tap the crumbling wood with a foot, it rattles, it won’t take much to make a hole.
I line up a kick, freedom no more than a quarter inch of rotten wood away.
“I wouldn’t do that. “ Says a voice behind me, male, around my age I’d guess, but with a confidence that makes me listen, “ Rigged with a load of C4 in the window frame.
Don’t take my word for it, guy wasn’t very subtle. ”
Sure enough, I see small wires running along the edges of the frame and embedded in the particle board.
I turn around, the six people standing in front of me have a vibe I can only describe as severe.
“Are we going to have issues? “ a slight, dark skinned guy asks.
“You making threats? “ I reply.
“No, he isn’t. “ it’s the same voice that warned me about the explosives. It belongs to a squared jawed kid with short black hair, he’s wearing a grey hoodie, and separates himself from the group. “ Call me Kent, and I’m in charge of making threats.
Sid, he’s our people person, he’s just trying to see if you’re someone we need to worry about. “
“We don’t have time to figure this kid out, leave him. “ a short, ginger girl says.
“Ami, why don’t I stay out of equipment, and you and Kent let me figure this kid out?” Sid says.
“I’m Nik. “ I volunteer.
“Good to meet you Nik. “ Sid says, walking around Kent, “Didn’t mean to start things off on the wrong foot.
We’ve just gotten used to doing these kinds of things in our own way over the past bit. We get a little… weird around this time of year if I’m being honest. “
I nod, apprehensive at giving any kind of detailed response.
“Derik” says a tall, pale guy, “ Research. “
“Liam. “ a tanned boy in a flannel shirt and deep blue jeans tells me, “ Oxford doesn’t talk, accident a couple of years back. I’m logistics, he figures spooky shit out. “
Oxford is thin and bald, his face looks much older than it should. Like he’s the victim of some kind of wasting disease.
Telling these kids the truth would be, complicated. And something about their war vet demeanor, makes me want to keep things simple.
So I give them a version of the truth. One where I was plucked from my room by Trenchcoat, and brought here for a slow death.
They buy it. I think.
“Well, I don’t know what this Jigsaw wannabe has planned, but trust me when I say, it can’t be much worse than the things we’ve went through. “ Kent says, trying to be reassuring.
“Just, one more thing. “ Sid begins, “ Why all the scars? “
I know I’ve won most of the group over, but I don’t like the look Sid is giving me.
“Work on a farm, on top of that, the family owns an auction. Lots of bent steel and splinters, what can I say? “ I say, trying to sound casual.
“Fair enough, that accent though. “ Sid’s look becomes almost predatory as he talks.
“Immigration my guy. What’s with the third degree? “ I reply.
“We’ve just met and I’ve only asked three questions.
Humor me here though.
You get taken in the night by that thing that winked out of existence.
Seems pretty nice of him to let you put on shoes. “ Sid lets his statement hang.
Kent turns, I don’t like where this is going. Panic and fear start to well up.
“What’re you thinking Sid? “ Kent asks.
“Kid’s lying. But he’s good at it. “ Sid answers.
“You saying this has turned into a, me, situation? “ Kent’s question starts a deep pit in my stomach.
“I don’t know if we need to go that far. But I don’t like the idea of him having seen our faces. I think this is a Liam situation. “ As Sid says this I look to Liam, who already seems deep in thought.
“Local cops will back our story, but he could go beyond them.
We tie him up until all of this is done, and we get some video of him putting a blade into the body upstairs. He goes telling any stories, it’s us and the locals versus some Yank on video stabbing the kid. “ Liam suggests.
I tried to fight, it went, embarrassingly. Kent had me on the ground in some kind of arm lock in about a second.
I’m bound to an old wooden chair with electrical cords, dragged into a room on the second floor where the chubby kid from before lays face down in a coagulated pool of his own blood. Surrounded by the trappings of misspent youth.
The door locks, and I stare at the corpse, wondering what in the hell went on up here, and in what universe are these psychopaths anything other than what they seemed on screen.
Time becomes almost malleable. I’m terrified to the point where every moment seems to stretch out forever.
Then, I hear it. A wet, organic noise. It starts below the body, and slowly starts to spread.
After a minute or two, the body starts to jerk and twitch. The room is dim as hell, but some kind of ropey, flesh-like substance, is sealing off the door.
I watch as the corpse clumsily gets to it’s feet. It’s skin pale, it’s throat slit to the point of near decapitation.
The head falls backward, obscenely with a small spurt of thick blood.
I scream, I thought I’d been getting used to being face to face with monsters. But fully bound, inches away from a kid that seems to be filled with a twisting mass of barbed, writhing, intestine like tentacles, I realize I’m not used to shit.
The ropey mass forms the barest suggestion of features, a shifting, lumpen mass of ever moving tendrils coming from what used to be the kid’s neck.
The sound spreads more, cracks in the floorboards and walls begin to show hints of the tendrils filling them in like spray foam.
No one is hearing my screams, or if they are, they have no interest in helping.
Ever wonder how you’d handle torture? I think if you’re the kind of person to be reading this, it’s likely you have.
I started by pissing myself.
The second the thin tendril touches my hand, I feel a blinding, flensing pain. I can do nothing but watch, as thousands of nearly hair thin spines tear and consume my flesh. As it slowly, almost, curiously makes it’s way up my arm, it leaves a bloodless, scarred furrow about an eighth of an inch deep.
My second reaction was to lose any pretense at defiance or dignity. I thrash and scream, beg and offer. All of this turning into choked sobs as the thing starts to do much of the same with another tendril.
It felt like I was in hell, every inch of me nothing more than a canvas for this artist of misery.
But pain, it can only go so far. Whether we’re talking about my tolerance, or this thing’s interest.
Mutilation, the brutal wedding of pain and loss. That was it’s next step.
A thick, almost centipede like tendril sits on my pinky like a hot iron. I can only watch in horror as I see fat, then muscle, then bone, then, nothing.
My voice shreds, I tear my wrists and ankles trying desperately to break the expertly tied wires.
My mind is at the breaking point, the creature in front of my makes a terrible, high pitched keening I assume is laughter.
My body is a roadmap of scarred pits and lines. My hand sports a cleanly severed finger. Fuck me, I wish things ended there.
Of all the important parts of the human body, the eye, tends to feel the least pain. Which isn’t to say, as I watched the greedy, grasping claws slowly take pieces of one of mine, it didn’t hurt, but the worst part, was knowing what was happening.
The vision in my left eye begins to distort at first, the edges getting blurry, then going dark. Bit by bit, chunk by irreplaceable chunk, the creature takes half my vision.
I can feel the shifting air on the bare socket, to call what I’m doing screaming, would be understating things to the point of absurdity.
My brain reels at what has just happened. I can feel my grip on reality begin to loosen, pain, worse than can bare, loss of half my sight, it’s too much.
My brain feels filled with static, for a few brief moments I swear, I can hear someone, a voice, trying to tell me something.
But then, a smell hits me. Something so foul, so alien, it yanks me back from the brink of disassociation. I gag and choke, as the air becomes thick with the rotten, chemical reek.
Then, I see it, I see, him.
As randomly as he disappeared, in an instant Trenchcoat is in the room.
He’s torn apart, wounds so deep and ragged, I can see the door on the other side of the room through the worst of them.
One arm is a twisted, broken mess, the flesh jacket torn to shreds of necrotic tissue.
The look on his face is panic, paranoia. A rictus grin of someone that has been kept on his toes for entirely too long.
He trembles and heaves, looking like he could fall over at any second.
He points his good arm at the tendril creature, who I notice has a too familiar eye suspended in it’s shifting features.
“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about the motherfucker who just made me kill my favorite cousin, would you? “ Trenchcoat asks, his voice cracked, and strained.
He gets a confused keening in response.
“Bad day for you then. “ Augustus says.
There is no style to his violence, Trenchcoat grabs the shifting mass, his wicked, claw tipped fingers angling themselves in tendrils. As he lifts the thing, floorboards break, and it’s torn free from the root-like system it was creating in the room.
Three brutal slams cover me in ichor and pieces of creature. Trenchcoat tosses the mewling, twitching pile in a corner and looks at me with disgust.
“You let that thing do this to you? Fuckin’ pathetic, bud.
And who tied you up? “ The nightmare I’ve been cursed with chides me.
“The kids downstairs. “ I say only now realizing I’ve still been sobbing.
One handed, Trenchcoat snaps the wires, then stumbles backward, slowly sliding down the wall.
He coughs, grey, bloody phlegm hitting the ground.
“So, what’s the play here? If this shit broke you, I could use the spare parts, if not, well, you know what the Bible says.
An eye for an eye. “ Trenchcoat grins as he talks, nearly on the brink of death.
And that’s where I think I’m going to leave things. Because, honestly I don’t know what I’m choosing.
I’m mutilated, half blind, using too much of my energy typing to strangers online about things because, I’m so fucking alone here.
If you hear from me again, I hope I made the right move. If not, take this as a lesson on what happens when you screw around with the occult.

We're really close ever since we met, i'm always with him on school and we always talk about stuffs, we always chat each other and i'm always teasing him on our gc. But one day, when we went outside with our circle of friends, we were all walking and he was beside me, while we're talking, we saw a sweet couple and he said "when will i experience that, i hope they break up" but he said it as a joke. Then after that, he held my arms while we're walking, the friend group when silent for a short period of time then i heard one of my friends whispering "Look they're so sweet" i just acted like i have no idea what was going on because i was so shocked that time. I really find him cute that time and a weeks before we went out, i think i was developing feelings on my bro. Few days later, i chatted and asked him to send the pictures that we took when we went outside, then the conversation just continued until he randomly said "I miss you" i wanted to say "i miss you too" but i got hesitant, he's straight and i'm not really sure if he's serious about it.
As we get closer and closer, we always talk and we often tell gay stuffs and sexual jokes to each other, he always say "suck my dick" and i just reply "when and where". I always keep up with him because we're like this ever since before but not this wild. Few months later we still keep in contact but my gut felt something different when we talk about sexual stuffs because he got a lot more open and expressive about it. Not to mention, when me and him are together, he always touch me and sometimes on my neck. He's also playing with my hand and always sticking his leg on my leg. One day, we were doing school project outside and i noticed that my dick is bulging, i was trying to hide it but i was wearing our PE pants. I saw him looking at it and when i walked towards him because i was gonna get something, he just stared at it for a second, he grabbed the glue and it almost touch my dick, i also noticed that he's making random actions just to look like "he accidentally" touched or felt my dick. I just acted that i'm clueless about it and i saw him that he's always looking at it.
Let's move there out and let me tell the story of our current situation. This time, we're still the same, but he got sweeter than before. He always send sweet messages to me and on tiktok. One time he sent a message "i love you even you're gay and stupid" and he's sending me those bro jokes on tiktok, i'm not gonna say anything because i'm pretty sure yall know what type of video i'm talking about.... He's also a lot sweeter in person and he sometimes talk about his future plans with me. But when we're with circle of friends, he's being kinda bitter and his attitude is changing towards me, but if it's just me and him, he's back at being him. Idk, he also always mention her 10th grade crush even though i know that he doesn't like her anymore. And one thing i got curious is he always say that he likes boobs, women, and a lot of other stuffs because that sounds like what a closeted guy always talks about. Like he's saying it to cover something because he's really being suspicious, he also willing to do romantic shit with me but not when our friends are with us.
He's always like this, and right now he sounds so convinced to do sweet and sexual activities with me, i really wanna know cause i like him and i'm confused (Sorry for bad English, it's not my first language:D )

Hello , this is my fifth submission. It feels like it's trending in the right direction thanks to the feedback I've been getting from you all.
I would love to hear some more thoughts because I would like to start querying in the near future, but don't want to jump the gun unless the query itself is ready. I'm open to any and ALL criticism and feedback. Thank you in advance!
[First Attempt](https://www.reddit.com/PubTips/comments/1b2oprl/qcrit_adult_science_fiction_god_particle_111k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
[Second Attempt](https://www.reddit.com/PubTips/comments/1b8cxqn/qcrit_adult_science_fiction_god_particle_111k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
[Third Attempt](https://www.reddit.com/PubTips/comments/1cr7k53/qcrit_adult_science_fiction_god_particle_111k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
[Fourth Attempt](https://www.reddit.com/PubTips/comments/1cy7p00/qcrit\_adult\_science\_fiction\_god\_particle\_111k/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button)
QUERY
[Dear Agent]
Detective Asaju knew she’d have to face death eventually, she just thought it would’ve been in 200 years. After catching a group of hackers ID scrubbing a simple arrest quickly turns into a blood bath. Surviving a dance of blades thanks only to her cybernetic enhancements, Asaju meets Helel, a man known to only a handful as the devil of Nauru.
Preferring to speak the languages of his past lives, Helel is surprised when Asaju speaks Latin. Seeing an old soul that he recognizes Helel spares Asaju believing he’s found his successor. Recruited by the Intelligence Division, Asaju joins the hunt for Helel and his cult. Through her investigation Asaju learns how untouchable the corporations that run the world are, and how they’ve tricked those they exploit into believing they’re happy.
Helel’s plan to save humanity from itself finally begins when he hijacks a news station and promises to change the world in six days. Asaju and the Intelligence Division move in to capture him only to find themselves ensnared in Helel’s trap. Asaju sacrifices herself so others can escape, but the devil always gets his due.
Asaju is drugged with a mind altering hallucinogen that leaves her questioning who she really is. Seeing things that leave her both terrified and at peace, Asaju begins to wonder if these thoughts are her own, or if she’s just clay being shaped by the hand of the devil. As she struggles with her own sanity and tracking down Helel, Asaju realizes there may be fates worse than death.
GOD PARTICLE is an adult science fiction novel in the cyberpunk subgenre complete at 110,000 words. It combines the futuristic world of (insert comp I'm still looking for, last book I read did not work, that's 4-5 so far, but at someone suggested the Murderbot Diaries. I'm rereading the first but I don't think it fits, at least book 1. Last suggestion was maybe Womb City. The synopsis doesn't sound close but the world might be similar. Richard K Morgan's "Thin Air" has a similar world and detective vibe, but it came out in 2018, so 6 years ago. Is that possibly still okay to use?), and the mind bending and detective elements of Blake Crouch's, Recursion.
I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Cinema with an emphasis in Screenwriting from [insert uni name] before I transitioned to writing novels six years ago and am so exciting to be sharing my debut novel with you. (insert brief reasons why I think they would be a good fit to represent God Particle).
Thank you for your time and consideration.
FIRST 300:
Detective Asaju watched a kaleidoscope of colors dance above the street. The glittering holos moved against each building trying to entice partiers inside with every attraction imaginable. Asaju secretly envied these people. To her, the swirling mosaics were beautiful, but unappealing. She once heard a spaced raver describe them as “unicorn barf,” which perfectly summarized how she felt about them.
She stood beneath the holo of a shield that read, DigiSafe, behind a neon green phrase, NOT SAFE ENOUGH, and a laughing face. No one paid it any attention here in the entertainment district. It was normal for everyone to be in their loudest outfits, wearing the flashiest augments money could buy. Graffiti or not, the holo was too tame to be noticed by anyone. Ironically, it was Asaju who garnered the most attention. In a sea of color her plain gray jacket, dark jeans, and black shirt couldn’t have stood out more. Thankfully no one paid her more than a cursory glance before continuing on their way.
“How we lookin, Garcia?” she asked, scanning the crowd with her police issued EyeDent glasses that brought up the ID of every person that walked by. Almost everyone’s tag above their head was green, with only a few yellows sprinkled here and there. Most were unpaid tickets for overtuned cybernetics or unregistered solicitation. None of it was worth the paperwork or hassle of bringing them down to the station. Seeing nothing of interest, Asaju rubbed her wrists as she watched a woman with an augmented chest that looked like it had been dipped in a vat of pink satin walk past.
“Wired in now,” Garcia shouted over the crowd.
“I’m counting on you to find something I can follow up on,” Asaju said while looking down at him. He was a scrawny guy who looked even smaller as he sat on the ground with his terminal on his lap.

I 23f live with my bf 23m and his parents. I’m getting really sick of my bfs dad judging me/making sly comments. A few examples:

1. We go to the gym late at night so he is still up. We go for about 1-2 hours every night. When we return from the gym, he always makes comments about “oh, that was quick” “you guys weren’t there very long!” A 2 HOUR WORK OUT IS MORE THAN YOU DO IN 3 DAYS PLS.
   
2. I can NEVER say “I feel so tired”. Any time I mention being tired it’s “what time did u guys sleep?” “U should go to bed earlier” “u are always staying up so late” YOU ARENT MY DAD. PLS DONT TELL ME WHAT TIME I SHOILD BE GOING TO BED.
   
3. I work from home 1 day a week. I stay in my pyjamas. If I am forced to feel uncomfortable in tight jeans at work most of the week I feel like I should be able to be comfy at home. “You’re still in your pyjamas?…” “I get dressed every day.” Okay? And you also don’t have a job. Like being in pyjamas doesn’t affect the quality of my work.
   
4. IF I SO MUCH AS EAT A SNACK, like a small bag of chips or a cheese stringer. “Ahhh so unhealthy!” “You should eat more fruit and veggie” keep in mind, I am a healthy person. I like to eat snacks every now and then, as I am also an intuitive eater and I’m not going to go hungry.
   

Overall, I’m just so sick of it. This is only my judgements, my BFs ones are way worse lol. Just had to get it off my chest. Oh and if anyone thinks why don’t we just move out, we are in an extreme cost of living crisis and his parents want us to live here to save money:)

Hi everyone. I’ve never been to a tech conference. Imposter syndrome is real with me and I’m wondering what the conferences are like? It’s probably a dumb question but I always see jokes about people in tech wearing jeans. What do you guys wear to these conferences? Business professional or business casual?

Hi guys,
I literally just bought a 2013 Outback 3.6r from a Subaru dealer. The car is immaculate and only have 110k km. When I first viewed the car, it had new winter tires on, and they said they would be changed to its all seasons. However, upon pickup I noticed the all season tires are pretty worn, except for the front left tire which seemed a lot newer.
There was also a gash on the side wall, but no metal wires were showing nor were there any bulges.
I asked how it could be safetied like that and they said the tire tread passes, and there were no wires exposed on the gash.
I got home and measured the tire tread depth, and here are the results:

• Front Left: 5mm (the newish looking tire)
• Front Right: 4mm
• Rear Left: 2.8mm
• Rear Right: 3mm

Is the difference in tread depth acceptable for Subaru's AWD?
It's new to me and I don't want to fuck up the powertrain!

I (21F) just started working the reception desk at rehab based in a hospital that doesn’t get a ton of people coming in and out everyday and my training supervisor literally said to me when I asked about the dress code: “No boobs, no butt, no belly, no tracksuit pants… That’s it.”
I’m jumping for joy because I prepared a bunch of relatively conservative outfits from suggestions I got from this sub the last time I posted about not wanting to look that old in workwear (a few dark chinos, long sleeved blouses, cardigans etc.) and still hated how it made me feel, plus I have tattoos so it’s good to know I won’t always be covering them up. I’m free to wear almost anything I want!
What are some places you guys have shopped from when you’ve worked at places with lax dress codes just so you can feel like yourself while you’re still at work???? I don’t even know where to begin!
EDIT: Oh, and I got told to always wear closed in shoes, of course, because it’s a hospital, but that’s not a big deal considering I’m not really a heels or sandals person anyway.
EDIT 2: Oh! I completely forgot I met a guy around my age a couple of days ago who works upstairs as a casual reliever and is around my age. He was just wearing a black t-shirt tucked into light blue jeans with black volleys on, so I’m assuming that the dress code is genuinely low-key.

I've posted on reddit before about having feelings of being trans (mtf) but I'm not 1000 percent certain. For context I'm an average cis het guy. I've only dated girls. I've had feelings about cross dressing and experimenting with gender for the last say 3-4 years give or take and am convinced to an extent that I would rather be a girl. I have this deep desire to be a girl, wear women's clothing, have sexual interactions with men, and be seen by others as a girl. Yet I'm not certain 100%. I only like men when I fantasy's about being the girl. One time while making out with my gf I started riding her like a girl would a guy and it felt more than natural that way. I'm extremely submissive in general. Of course these are sexual things but I feel like seeing your self as a girl in intercourse could be a sign of gender dysphoria although I'm not educated enough to know for sure. I find myself repulsed by masculine things and have begun to hate men, not in a cringe way, more so in that anger and masculinity of any kind annoys and frustrates me. Possibly a sign of me hating my own masculinity and projecting?? Another thing I've noted is that I'm drawn extremely to girls clothing and only care about my appearance and clothes when there girls items. Ever peace of guys clothes I get I throw on my floor and could care less about spending a couple minutes in store and going with jeans and white t-shirts. I often spend hours online looking at girls clothing and fantasying about wearing them and treat any item that could be unisex or girly with a lot more care and love than my generic male clothes. I also love presenting as a girl online and if it wasn't for my own insecurity would do it more often. I used to play as a girl in Roblox a lot but changed back to being a guy as I started making new friends, although I made an alt account where I could be a girl but as it wasn't my main so I used it less. Basically I feel like I am a girl, and feel like I'd be happier if the world saw me as a girl. Any advice on weather I should (once moved out of my house starting next year) go down the transitioning to female route or play it more off in a femboy kind of way (be a guy day to day but dress as a girl in certain social or private situations) I'm lost so all advice is welcome big or small. (Writing this while extremely tired so please ignore spelling errors or rude/ignorant statements if I've made any)

WISH LIST:
Rare apparel
Overeater's Civil Engineer 1S/WWR (chest, left arm, right arm, right leg)
Overeater's Excavator 1S/WWR (left arm, right leg)
Vanguard's Scout 1S/WWR (right arm, right leg)
Vanguard's Excavator 1S/WWR (chest, left arm, right leg)
Please no cap offers since I'm maxed out on all 5 characters!
******************************************************************************
COMPLETE TRADE LIST: (Thank you for your time browsing this huge list!!!)
FIXERS: AA/25/15r,,, AA/25/15v,,, AA/50c/15v,,, AA/50vhc/25,,, AA/50L/25,,, AA/AP/25,,, AA/E/Dur,,, Ari/25/15r,,, Ari/E/15r,,, Ari/E/25,,, As/E/25,,, B/25/15v,,, B/50L/25,,, B/E/Dur,,, BeAP/25,,, Exe/AP/25,,, Exe/E/25,,, GouE/25,,, GS/E/25,,, H/50c/25,,, Jug/50c/25,,, Jug/AP/25,,, Junk/25/15r,,, Junk/50c/15v,,, Junk/50L/25,,, Junk/AP/25,,, Junk/E/15v,,, Med/25/25,,, Med/50c/25,,, Med/AP/25,,, Mut/AP/25,,, MS/50c/25,,, MS/AP/25,,, N/AP/25,,, N/E/25,,, Q/25/15r,,, Q/25/15v,,, Q/AP/25,,, Q/E/15r,,, St/50c/25,,, St/AP/25,,, St/E/25,,, Sup/50c/25,,, Sup/AP/25,,, Sup/E/25,,, T/50c/25,,, T/AP/25,,, TS/25/15r,,, TS/25/15v,,, TS/50vhc/25,,, TS/AP/25,,, V/AP/25,,, Z/25/25,,, Z/50c/25,,, Z/E/25
HANDMADES: AA/E/15v,,, I/E/25,,, Junk/25/15r,,, Junk/50c/25,,, MS/E/25,,, Mut/50c/25,,, Mut/E/25,,, Q/50c/25,,, Q/E/15r,,, Q/E/50
HEAVY WEAPONS: AA/25/15r AGL,,, AA/25/90 AGL,,, AA/25/15r Cryolator,,, AA/E/25 Gatling Gun,,, AA/25/90 Harpoon Gun,,, As/25A/90 Fatman,,, As/25/15r Gatling Laser,,, As/25/90 Gatling Plasma,,, B/25/15r 50cal,,, B/E/Gho 50cal,,, B/50L/90 AGL,,, B/25A/90 Cryolator,,, B/50L/90 Cryolator,,, B/25A/90 Missile Launcher,,, B/50vhc/90 Missile Launcher,,, B/25/90 Ultracite Gatling Laser,,, B/25/Dur Ultracite Gatling Laser,,, BeE/90 Gatling Gun,,, Exe/50c/15r Flamer,,, Exe/25A/90 Gatling Plasma,,, Exe/E/25 LMG,,, F/50c/25 Cryolator,,, Jug/25/15r Cryolator,,, N/25/15r 50cal,,, Q/50L/90 Minigun,,, Q/E/Gho Minigun,,, Q/50L/15r Pepper Shaker,,, T/25/15r Cryolator,,, TS/25A/90 Broadsider,,, TS/25/15r Gatling Gun,,, TS/E/90 LMG,,, TS/E/25 Minigun,,, TS/25A/15r Missile Launcher,,, V/25/15r 50cal,,, V/25/25 Broadsider,,, V/25A/90 Cryolator,,, V/AP/15r Flamer,,, V/25/25 Gatling Gun,,, V/50L/90 Harpoon Gun,,, Z/E/90 LMG
LEGACIES: Stalker's SS/1S melee: Bowie Knife,,, Chinese Officer Sword,,, Cultist Dagger,,, Guitar Sword,,, Revolutionary Sword,,, Walking Cane
MELEE: AA/SS/1S Cultist Blade,,, AA/SS/1S Death Tambo,,, AA/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, AA/40P/1S Gulper Smacker,,, AA/SS/1S Meat Hook,,, AA/SS/1S Pole Hook,,, AA/50c/15v Power Fist,,, AA/SS/1S Revolutionary Sword,,, AA/50L/1S Ripper,,, AA/SS/1S Spear,,, AA/SS/1S Super Sledge,,, Ari/40P/1S Drill,,, Ari/SS/1S Sledgehammer,,, Ari/SS/1S War Drum,,, As/40P/1S Chainsaw,,, As/40P/1S Drill,,, As/SS/1S Sheepsquatch Staff,,, B/50L/1S Chainsaw,,, B/AP/1S Chainsaw,,, B/SS/1S Chinese Officer Sword,,, B/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, B/50c/1S Drill,,, B/SS/25 Gulper Smacker,,, B/SS/25 Meat Hook,,, B/SS/90 Power Fist,,, B/SS/1S Power Fist,,, B/50c/25 Spear,,, BeSS/1S Combat Knife,,, Exe/40P/25 Drill,,, Exe/SS/1S Fire Axe,,, Exe/SS/1S Pitchfork,,, Exe/50c/1S Power Fist,,, GouSS/1S Hatchet,,, GouSS/1S Super Sledge,,, GS/SS/1S Chainsaw,,, I/SS/1S Death Tambo,,, I/40P/40 Drill,,, I/SS/1S Golf Club,,, I/SS/1S Pitchfork,,, I/SS/1S Shepherd's Crook,,, I/SS/1S Super Sledge,,, Junk/SS/1S Assaultron Blade,,, Junk/SS/1S Rolling Pin,,, Junk/SS/1S Security Baton,,, Mut/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, Mut/SS/1S Gulper Smacker,,, Mut/SS/1S Switchblade,,, MS/SS/1S Baseball Bat,,, MS/SS/1S Shishkebab,,, MS/SS/1S Shovel,,, MS/SS/1S Switchblade,,, Sup/SS/1S Assaultron Blade,,, Sup/SS/1S Cultist Blade,,, Sup/SS/1S Revolutionary Sword,,, Sup/SS/1S Spear,,, Sup/SS/1S Tire Iron,,, T/SS/1S Baseball Bat,,, T/SS/1S Bowie Knife,,, T/SS/1S Golf Club,,, T/SS/1S Machete,,, T/SS/1S Sledgehammer,,, V/SS/1S Combat Knife,,, V/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, V/SS/1S Pole Hook,,, V/SS/1S Shishkebab,,, V/SS/1S Sledgehammer,,, Z/SS/1S Buzz Blade,,, Z/40P/1S Chainsaw,,, Z/SS/1S Fire Axe,,, Z/SS/1S Knuckles,,, Z/SS/1S Pipe Wrench
RAILWAYS: AA/50c/25,,, AA/50vhc/25,,, AA/E/15v,,, AA/E/25,,, Ari/25/15r,,, B/50vhc/25,,, B/E/15r,,, B/E/90,,, F/50c/25,,, F/E/25,,, GS/50c/25,,, H/50c/25,,, I/25/25,,, I/50c/25,,, Junk/E/25,,, Q/25/15v,,, Q/50L/90,,, Q/E/1P,,, St/50c/25,,, Sup/E/25,,, TS/50L/25,,, TS/50vhc/25,,, TS/50c/15r,,, TS/AP/25,,, TS/E/Dur,,, V/25/25,,, V/50c/25,,, Z/E/90
TESLAS: AA/25/15r,,, AA/AP/25,,, AA/25/25,,, As/25/25,,, B/25/25,,, B/25/90,,, B/25/Dur,,, B/25/Gho,,, Be25/15r,,, Be25/25,,, Exe/25/15r,,, Exe/25/25,,, Exe/25/90,,, Exe/50L/15r,,, Ext/25/15r,,, F/25/15r,,, GS/25/25,,, GS/25/90,,, GS/50c/25,,, H/25/15r,,, I/25/15r,,, Junk/25/15r,,, Junk/50L/15r,,, Med/25/25,,, MS/50c/25,,, Mut/25/15r,,, Mut/25/25,,, N/25/25,,, Q/25**,,, Q/AP/25,,, St/25/25,,, St/25/90,,, Sup/25/90,,, Sup/50c/25,,, T/25/15r,,, TS/25/15r,,, TS/25/25,,, TS/50L/15r,,, V/25/15r,,, V/25/15v,,, V/25/90,,, V/25/250,,, V/25/Dur,,, V/50c/15r,,, V/50L/15r,,, Z/25/15r,,, Z/25/90
AA/25/25 Assaultron Head,,, AA/50c/15v Crossbow,,, AA/50c/25 Crossbow,,, AA/50L/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, AA/25/25 Gamma Gun,,, AA/50c/25 Pipe Bolt Action Pistol/Rifle,,, AA/25/15r Plasma Pistol/Rifle,,, As/50c/25 Crossbow,,, As/25/25 Gauss Rifle,,, As/50c/25 Laser Pistol/Rifle,,, B/AP/25 Compound Bow,,, B/25/25 Gauss Rifle,,, Be50c/25 Bow,,, Be50c/25 Crossbow,,, Be50c/25 SMG,,, Exe/50L/25 Alien Blaster,,, Exe/50c/25 Blunderbuss,,, Exe/50c/25 Combat Rifle,,, Exe/50c/15v Compound Bow,,, Exe/50c/25 Double Barrel,,, Exe/25/25 Gamma Gun,,, Exe/E/25 Hunting Rifle,,, Exe/E/25 Lever Action,,, Exe/50L/25 Plasma Pistol/Rifle,,, F/50c/15v Compound Bow,,, F/E/25 Double Barrel,,, F/50c/15v Thirst Zapper,,, GouE/25 Assault Rifle,,, GouE/25 Double Barrel,,, Gou25/25 Lever Action,,, GS/50c/25 Gamma Gun,,, I/50c/25 Combat Shotgun,,, I/50c/15v Compound Bow,,, I/50c/25 The Dragon,,, Jug/E/25 Combat Rifle,,, Jug/50c/25 Laser Pistol/Rifle,,, Junk/50c/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, Junk/25/25 Radium Rifle,,, Mut/E/25 10mm Pistol,,, Mut/50c/25 Crossbow,,, N/25/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, N/50c/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, Q/50c/25 Assaultron Head,,, Q/25/15r Combat Shotgun,,, Q/25/1P Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, Q/AP/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, Q/25/15r Plasma Pistol/Rifle,,, St/50c/25 Crossbow,,, St/E/25 Single Action Revolver,,, Sup/25/25 Radium Rifle,,, TS/25/15r Combat Rifle,,, TS/50c/25 Combat Rifle,,, TS/E/15r Pipe Revolver,,, V/50c/25 Bow,,, V/50L/25 Compound Bow,,, V/AP/25 Crossbow,,, V/50c/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, V/50c/25 Gauss Rifle,,, V/25/25 Pipe Pistol/Rifle,,, V/50c/25 Pipe Pistol/Rifle,,, Z/25/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle
ARMOR: Aristocrat's Civil Engineer chest AP/Cavalier
Aristocrat's Civil Engineer chest LED/Cavalier
Aristocrat's Civil Engineer chest LED/HTD
Aristocrat's Heavy Robot left leg LED/Sentinel
Aristocrat's Heavy Robot left leg LED/WWR
Aristocrat's Marine right leg AP/Cavalier
Aristocrat's Marine right arm LED/WWR
Aristocrat's USA left leg LED/WWR
Assassin's Civil Engineer chest Strength/JWR
Assassin's FSA chest LED/FDC
Assassin's FSA left arm AP/FDC (2)
Assassin's FSA left arm AP/Sentinel
Assassin's FSA left arm LED/HTD
Assassin's FSA left leg AP/FDC
Assassin's FSA left leg Strength/HTD
Assassin's Heavy Leather left arm AP/WWR
Assassin's Heavy Robot chest Strength/WWR
Assassin's Marine left arm AP/Cavalier
Assassin's Sturdy Combat chest AP/Sentinel
Assassin's Trapper right arm Poison resist/Sentinel
Assassin's Trapper right leg Strength/Sentinel
Assassin's USA left arm LED/WWR
Assassin's USA left arm Poison resist/Sentinel
Assassin's USA left leg LED/HTD
Assassin's USA left leg Strength/WWR
Auto Stim Civil Engineer chest LED/FDC
Auto Stim FSA right leg LED/WWR
Auto Stim Heavy Metal chest LED/Sentinel
Auto Stim Heavy Raider right leg LED/Sentinel
Auto Stim Heavy Robot chest LED/Sentinel
Auto Stim Heavy Robot right leg Cryo resist/Sentinel
Auto Stim Marine left leg LED/Sentinel
Auto Stim Ultracite left arm LED/Sentinel
Auto Stim USA left arm AP/Cavalier
Auto Stim USA left arm AP/WWR
Auto Stim USA left arm LED/FDC
Auto Stim USA right arm LED/Sentinel
Auto Stim USA right leg LED/WWR
Auto Stim USA right leg Strength/Cavalier
Auto Stim USA right leg Strength/Sentinel
Auto Stim USA right leg Strength/WWR
Bolstering FSA left arm AP/Sentinel
Bolstering FSA left arm Luck/WWR
Bolstering FSA left arm Strength/WWR
Bolstering FSA left leg AP/Sentinel
Bolstering FSA left leg LED/Cavalier
Bolstering FSA right leg Strength/HTD
Bolstering Heavy Metal left leg AP/Cavalier
Bolstering Heavy Metal right arm AP/Sentinel
Bolstering Heavy Metal right leg LED/HTD
Bolstering Heavy Robot left arm Strength/Cavalier
Bolstering Marine right arm Cryo resist/Sentinel
Bolstering Marine right arm Strength/FDC
Bolstering Raider right arm AP/Sentinel
Bolstering Sturdy Combat left leg LED/Sentinel
Bolstering Sturdy Leather right leg AP/Sentinel
Bolstering Trapper chest AP/Cavalier (2)
Bolstering Trapper right arm LED/Sentinel
Bolstering USA left arm LED/FDC
Bolstering USA left arm LED/Sentinel
Bolstering USA right arm AP/FDC
Bolstering USA right arm Intelligence/Sentinel
Bolstering Wood left leg LED/WWR
Chameleon FSA chest LED/Cavalier
Chameleon FSA left arm Strength/Sentinel
Chameleon FSA left leg AP/Cavalier
Chameleon FSA left leg LED/Sentinel
Chameleon Heavy Combat right arm LED/Cavalier
Chameleon Heavy Raider right leg AP/Sentinel
Chameleon Marine left arm AP/Cavalier
Chameleon Marine right arm AP/Sentinel
Chameleon Marine left leg AP/WWR
Chameleon Robot chest LED/WWR
Chameleon USA chest AP/WWR
Chameleon USA chest LED/Cavalier
Chameleon USA left arm AP/JWR
Chameleon USA left arm LED/Sentinel
Chameleon USA left leg Cryo resist/Sentinel
Chameleon USA right arm LED/WWR
Chameleon USA right leg AP/FDC
Cloaking FSA chest AP/Cavalier
Cloaking FSA right arm AP/WWR
Cloaking USA chest AP/Sentinel
Cloaking USA right leg AP/WWR
Exterminator's Civil Engineer chest AP/Sentinel
Exterminator's FSA right arm AP/Sentinel
Exterminator's FSA right arm LED/Cavalier
Exterminator's FSA right leg LED/Cavalier
Exterminator's USA chest AP/Sentinel
Exterminator's USA chest LED/WWR
Ghoul Slayer's FSA right arm AP/WWR
Ghoul Slayer's FSA right leg AP/Cavalier
Ghoul Slayer's Heavy Metal left arm AP/Sentinel
Ghoul Slayer's USA left arm AP/WWR
Ghoul Slayer's USA left leg AP/WWR
Hunter's Civil Engineer chest AP/Sentinel
Hunter's Heavy Metal right leg AP/Sentinel
Life Saving Civil Engineer chest LED/HTD
Life Saving Combat left leg AP/WWR
Life Saving FSA chest AP/Sentinel
Life Saving FSA left arm LED/WWR
Life Saving FSA left leg LED/Sentinel
Life Saving FSA right leg Strength/Cavalier
Life Saving Heavy Combat AP/HTD
Life Saving Heavy Raider chest LED/WWR
Life Saving Heavy Robot chest AP/WWR
Life Saving Heavy Robot left arm AP/WWR
Life Saving Marine chest LED/Cavalier
Life Saving Marine left leg AP/WWR
Life Saving Trapper left leg AP/Sentinel
Life Saving Trapper right leg LED/Cavalier
Life Saving USA left arm LED/WWR
Life Saving USA left arm AP/Cavalier
Life Saving USA left leg Strength/Cavalier
Life Saving USA right arm AP/Sentinel
Life Saving USA right arm Poison resist/Sentinel
Mutant's Civil Engineer chest AP/WWR
Mutant's FSA left leg LED/WWR
Mutant's Heavy Combat right leg AP/FDC
Mutant Slayer's FSA left arm AP/Cavalier
Mutant Slayer's FSA right leg AP/Sentinel
Mutant Slayer's Heavy Raider right leg AP/Sentinel
Mutant Slayer's Trapper chest AP/Sentinel (2)
Mutant Slayer's USA chest AP/Sentinel
Mutant Slayer's USA left arm AP/Sentinel
Mutant Slayer's USA left leg AP/Cavalier
Nocturnal Heavy Combat right leg Strength/Sentinel
Nocturnal Heavy Robot left leg LED/WWR
Nocturnal Heavy Robot right leg AP/Cavalier
Nocturnal Robot left arm AP/Sentinel
Nocturnal Trapper chest AP/Sentinel
Nocturnal USA left leg LED/WWR
Nocturnal USA right leg AP/HTD
Nocturnal USA right leg LED/Cavalier
Overeater's Civil Engineer chest Agility/WWR
Overeater's Civil Engineer chest Antiseptic/WWR
Overeater's Civil Engineer chest AP/Toxic
Overeater's Civil Engineer chest Charisma/WWR
Overeater's Civil Engineer chest Fire resist/Cavalier
Overeater's Civil Engineer chest Fire resist/FDC
Overeater's Civil Engineer chest Intelligence/Sentinel
Overeater's Civil Engineer left leg AP/AWR
Overeater's Combat chest AP/FDC
Overeater's FSA chest Endurance/Sentinel
Overeater's FSA chest Poison resist/Cavalier
Overeater's FSA left arm Charisma/FDC
Overeater's FSA left arm Intelligence/Sentinel
Overeater's FSA left arm Perception/Sentinel
Overeater's FSA left leg AP/HTD
Overeater's FSA right arm AP/JWR
Overeater's FSA right arm Strength/FDC
Overeater's FSA right arm Strength/WWR
Overeater's FSA right leg LED/AWR
Overeater's Heavy Combat chest LED/HTD
Overeater's Heavy Combat left arm LED/JWR
Overeater's Heavy Combat right leg Perception/Sentinel
Overeater's Heavy Leather right arm Glutton/Sentinel
Overeater's Heavy Metal left leg Strength/Sentinel
Overeater's Heavy Metal right leg AP/Sentinel
Overeater's Heavy Raider left arm LED/Cavalier
Overeater's Heavy Raider left leg Charisma/WWR
Overeater's Heavy Raider right arm Fire resist/FDC
Overeater's Heavy Robot chest Endurance/Sentinel
Overeater's Heavy Robot chest Rad resist/Sentinel
Overeater's Heavy Robot left leg Agility/WWR
Overeater's Marine chest Rad resist/FDC
Overeater's Marine chest Rad resist/Sentinel
Overeater's Marine left arm Strength/FDC
Overeater's Marine right arm Rad resist/Sentinel
Overeater's Marine right leg Fire resist/Sentinel
Overeater's Marine right leg Luck/FDC
Overeater's Marine right leg Perception/WWR
Overeater's Metal left arm AP/FDC
Overeater's Metal left leg Agility/Sentinel
Overeater's Metal left leg Cryo resist/Sentinel
Overeater's Metal right arm AP/Sentinel
Overeater's Metal right leg Poison resist/Sentinel
Overeater's Raider right arm Cryo resist/Sentinel
Overeater's Raider right leg LED/WWR
Overeater's Sturdy Metal chest Strength/FDC
Overeater's Trapper chest Rad resist/FDC
Overeater's Trapper left arm AP/HTD
Overeater's Trapper left arm Cryo resist/Sentinel
Overeater's Trapper left arm Perception/Sentinel
Overeater's Trapper left leg Perception/WWR
Overeater's Trapper right arm Luck/WWR
Overeater's Trapper right arm Rad resist/WWR
Overeater's USA chest Cryo resist/HTD
Overeater's USA chest LED/WWR
Overeater's USA chest Poison resist/FDC
Overeater's USA left arm Antiseptic/Sentinel
Overeater's USA left arm AP/HTD
Overeater's USA left arm Endurance/FDC
Overeater's USA left arm Endurance/WWR
Overeater's USA left arm Fire resist/FDC (2)
Overeater's USA left arm LED/AWR
Overeater's USA left arm LED/FDC
Overeater's USA left arm Poison resist/Sentinel
Overeater's USA left arm Rad resist/Sentinel
Overeater's USA left leg Fire resist/WWR
Overeater's USA left leg Intelligence/FDC
Overeater's USA left leg Strength/FDC
Overeater's USA right arm Luck/Sentinel
Overeater's USA right leg AP/FDC
Overeater's USA right leg Intelligence/HTD
Overeater's USA right leg Poison resist/Sentinel
Overeater's USA right leg Rad resist/Sentinel
Overeater's Wood left arm LED/Cavalier
Regenerating Civil Engineer chest AP/Sentinel
Troubleshooter's Excavator right arm LED/Cavalier
Troubleshooter's FSA chest AP/WWR
Troubleshooter's Heavy Combat left arm AP/Cavalier
Troubleshooter's Heavy Robot left arm AP/Cavalier
Troubleshooter's T-60 left arm LED/Sentinel
Troubleshooter's T-60 right arm AP/WWR
Troubleshooter's Trapper right leg AP/WWR
Troubleshooter's USA left arm AP/FDC
Troubleshooter's USA left arm Strength/Sentinel
Troubleshooter's USA left leg AP/WWR
Unyielding Civil Engineer chest AP/Electrified
Unyielding Civil Engineer left arm Antiseptic/FDC
Unyielding Civil Engineer left leg AP/Electrified
Unyielding Civil Engineer right leg Intelligence/Burning
Unyielding FSA full set AP/Cavalier
Unyielding FSA chest Cryo resist/FDC
Unyielding FSA chest Intelligence/Acrobat
Unyielding FSA chest Intelligence/Dur
Unyielding FSA chest LED/JWR
Unyielding FSA left arm Cryo resist/AWR
Unyielding FSA left arm LED/Sentinel
Unyielding FSA left arm Poison resist/AWR
Unyielding FSA left leg AP/Acrobat
Unyielding FSA left leg Endurance/Sentinel
Unyielding FSA left leg Fire resist/AWR
Unyielding FSA left leg Fire resist/FDC
Unyielding FSA left leg Luck/AWR
Unyielding FSA right arm Cryo resist/Cavalier
Unyielding FSA right arm Poison resist/WWR
Unyielding FSA right leg AP/JWR
Unyielding FSA right leg Intelligence/JWR
Unyielding FSA right leg LED/HTD
Unyielding FSA right leg Luck/JWR
Unyielding FSA right leg Rad resist/AWR (2)
Unyielding Heavy Combat chest Strength/HTD
Unyielding Heavy Combat left leg Cryo resist/Cavalier
Unyielding Heavy Combat right arm Poison resist/JWR
Unyielding Heavy Combat right arm Poison resist/Sentinel
Unyielding Heavy Leather chest Cryo resist/HTD
Unyielding Heavy Leather left arm Rad resist/HTD
Unyielding Heavy Leather left leg Luck/Cavalier
Unyielding Heavy Metal right arm LED/Cavalier
Unyielding Heavy Metal right leg Endurance/Sentinel
Unyielding Heavy Raider chest Agility/Sentinel
Unyielding Heavy Raider left arm Poison resist/FDC
Unyielding Heavy Raider right arm AP/HTD
Unyielding Heavy Raider right arm Charisma/FDC
Unyielding Heavy Robot chest Cryo resist/Cavalier
Unyielding Heavy Robot right arm Endurance/Sentinel
Unyielding Leather left leg LED/WWR
Unyielding Marine chest Perception/Sentinel
Unyielding Marine chest Luck/WWR
Unyielding Marine chest Strength/HTD
Unyielding Marine left arm Cryo resist/HTD
Unyielding Marine left arm Strength/Cavalier (2)
Unyielding Marine left leg AP/FDC
Unyielding Marine right arm AP/Acrobat
Unyielding Marine right arm Rad resist/Cavalier
Unyielding Marine right leg Fire resist/WWR
Unyielding Marine right leg LED/AWR
Unyielding Marine right leg Luck/FDC
Unyielding Marine right leg Rad resist/AWR
Unyielding Metal chest AP/HTD
Unyielding Metal left arm LED/Sentinel
Unyielding Metal right leg AP/Cavalier
Unyielding Raider chest Luck/Cavalier
Unyielding Robot left leg Poison resist/Sentinel
Unyielding Sturdy Combat chest Strength/Sentinel
Unyielding Sturdy Combat right arm AP/AWR
Unyielding Sturdy Leather left leg LED/Sentinel
Unyielding Sturdy Metal chest AP/WWR
Unyielding Sturdy Metal left arm Rad resist/Sentinel
Unyielding Sturdy Raider chest Intelligence/FDC
Unyielding Sturdy Raider right leg Intelligence/FDC
Unyielding Sturdy Robot right arm LED/Sentinel
Unyielding Trapper chest Luck/FDC
Unyielding Trapper left leg Cryo resist/WWR
Unyielding Trapper right arm Cryo resist/Cavalier
Unyielding Trapper right arm LED/HTD
Unyielding Trapper right arm Luck/Cavalier
Unyielding USA chest AP/JWR
Unyielding USA chest Fire resist/AWR
Unyielding USA chest Luck/HTD
Unyielding USA chest Intelligence/Cavalier
Unyielding USA chest Poison resist/Cavalier
Unyielding USA chest Rad resist/JWR
Unyielding USA left arm AP/Sentinel
Unyielding USA left arm Cryo resist/WWR
Unyielding USA left arm LED/Acrobat (2)
Unyielding USA left arm Perception/FDC
Unyielding USA left arm Poison resist/AWR
Unyielding USA left arm Poison resist/HTD
Unyielding USA left arm Rad resist/Cavalier
Unyielding USA left leg Luck/AWR
Unyielding USA right arm Cryo resist/WWR
Unyielding USA right arm Intelligence/JWR
Unyielding USA right arm Luck/Cavalier
Unyielding USA right arm Poison resist/HTD
Unyielding USA right leg AP/Cavalier
Unyielding USA right leg Charisma/WWR
Unyielding USA right leg Fire resist/AWR
Unyielding USA right leg Perception/FDC
Unyielding Wood chest AP/FDC
Unyielding Wood chest Luck/Cavalier
Unyielding Wood chest Luck/Sentinel
Unyielding Wood right arm AP/Sentinel
Unyielding Wood right arm LED/WWR
Unyielding Wood right leg Strength/WWR
Vanguard's Civil Engineer chest LED/Cavalier
Vanguard's Civil Engineer chest LED/HTD
Vanguard's FSA full set Strength/Cavalier
Vanguard's FSA right arm Strength/Cavalier
Vanguard's FSA right leg Strength/Cavalier
Vanguard's Heavy Leather right arm LED/HTD
Vanguard's Heavy Metal chest Strength/Cavalier
Vanguard's Heavy Robot right arm LED/HTD
Vanguard's Marine right arm Strength/WWR
Vanguard's Marine right leg Strength/Sentinel
Vanguard's Sturdy Robot left arm AP/Sentinel
Vanguard's Sturdy Robot right leg LED/WWR
Vanguard's Trapper left arm LED/Cavalier
Vanguard's USA full set Strength/Cavalier
Vanguard's USA chest Luck/Sentinel
Vanguard's USA left arm AP/FDC
Vanguard's USA left arm Intelligence/Sentinel
Vanguard's USA left arm LED/Sentinel
Vanguard's USA left arm Strength/FDC
Vanguard's USA left arm Strength/Sentinel
Vanguard's USA left leg Strength/Cavalier
Vanguard's USA right arm AP/Cavalier
Vanguard's USA right leg Strength/Cavalier (3)
Vanguard's Wood chest Strength/Sentinel
Weightless Civil Engineer chest AP/Sentinel
Weightless Civil Engineer chest LED/Sentinel
Weightless Civil Engineer chest Strength/WWR
Weightless FSA left leg Strength/Sentinel
Weightless Marine right leg AP/Cavalier
Weightless Trapper chest AP/Cavalier
Weightless Trapper left arm AP/Sentinel
Weightless Trapper left leg AP/Sentinel
Weightless USA chest Strength/Sentinel
Weightless USA right leg AP/Cavalier
Weightless USA right leg LED/WWR
Zealot's Trapper left arm LED/Cavalier
Zealot's USA chest AP/Sentinel
Zealot's USA left arm AP/Cavalier
Zealot's USA left arm AP/Sentinel (2)
Zealot's USA right arm AP/WWR
Zealot's USA right leg AP/WWR
PLANS: Alien Blaster,,, Alien Disintegrator,,, Alien head lamp,,, Alien table,,, Alien target practice poster,,, Assault rifle wraith's wrath paint,,, Backpack armor plated mod,,, Backpack high capacity mod,,, Backpack insulated mod,,, Backpack lead lined mod,,, Backpack refrigerated mod,,, mod,,, Bloody curtain door,,, Bloody rug,,, Boxing glove lead lining,,, Camo Backpack,,, Chainsaw ghostly grinder paint,,, Chainsaw septikill paint,,, Cultist adept hood,,, Cultist adept robes,,, Cultist enlightened hood,,, Cultist enlightened robes,,, Cultist eventide hood,,, Cultist eventide robes,,, Cultist incarnate helmet,,, Cultist neophyte hood,,, Cultist neophyte robes,,, Dense marine armor torso,,, Dense trapper armor torso,,, Dr. Bones,,, Dried wildflower bouquet,,, Electro Enforcer,,, Enlightened lantern,,, Executioner mask,,, Flannel shirt & jeans,,, Fluttering moths,,, Fuzzy enlightened plushie,,, Fuzzy mothman plushie,,, Giant red dinosaur,,, Glowing flatwoods monster lamp,,, Hazmat suit teal,,, Honeycomb paper blue mothman,,, Honeycomb paper brown mothman,,, Honeycomb paper ghost lantern A&B,,, Honeycomb paper green mothman,,, Honeycomb paper holiday tree A&B,,, Honeycomb paper icy snowflake,,, Honeycomb paper jack o'lantern A&B,,, Honeycomb paper jolly target,,, Honeycomb paper mothman globe,,, Honeycomb paper red mothman,,, Honeycomb paper ribbon bell,,, Honeycomb paper snowman,,, Honeycomb paper spider lantern,,, Honeycomb paper standing santa,,, Junkyard fountain,,, Machete sacrificial blade,,, Mutant hound diagram,,, Peppino pig plushie,,, Plastiform Candle,,, Plastiform gingerbread,,, Plastiform nutcracker,,, Plastiform santa,,, Plastiform santa sleigh,,, Princess backpack,,, Punty pig plushie,,, Rad skull rider helmet,,, Raw cement barricade,,, Sacred mothman tome,,, Scorchbeast queen plushie,,, Scorched tube,,, Shielded lining casual underarmor,,, Snallygaster plushie,,, Star light,,, Straw goat,,, Super mutant diagram,,, T-60 BOS knight paint,,, Taxidermy mutant hound,,, TV Aquarium,,, Ultracite emergency protocols,,, Undershirt & jeans,,, Vintage water cooler,,, Wilber McPigg plushie,,, WV state bird rug,,, Yao Guai tube,,, Zenith alien blaster paint,,, Fasnacht donut recipe,,, Fasnacht sausage recipe,,, Formula P recipe,,, Healing salve Ash Heap recipe,,, Healing salve Cranberry Bog recipe,,, Healing salve Mire recipe,,, Tato salad recipe (***I have a ton of plans that are not listed here, so just let me know what you're looking for***)
APPAREL: Asylum Uniform Blue,,, Asylum Uniform Forest,,, Asylum Uniform Pink,,, Fasnacht Brahmin mask,,, Fasnacht Buffoon mask,,, Fasnacht Crazy Guy mask,,, Fasnacht Deathclaw mask,,, Fasnacht Demon mask,,, Fasnacht Fiend mask,,, Fasnacht Hag mask,,, Fasnacht Loon mask,,, Fasnacht Raven mask,,, Fasnacht Winter Man mask,,, Emmett Mountain hazmat suit,,, Garrahan Foreman Outfit and Helmet
CHEMS: Addictol: 264,,, Berry Mentats: 3600,,, Buffout: 2071,,, Calmex: 859,,, Daddy-O: 1411,,, Day Tripper: 1153,,, Disease Cure: 541,,, Mentats: 1000,,, Overdrive: 248,,, Psycho: 3886,,, Psychobuff: 1914,,, Psychotats: 1896,,, X-cell: 661
FOOD: Canned meat stew: 75,,, Pepper: 3348,,, Salt: 2961,,, Spices: 1668,,, Sugar Bombs(w/rads): 1251
MODS: Enclave Aligned automatic barrel,,, Enclave Aligned short barrel,,, Enclave Aligned sniper barrel(3),,, Enclave Aligned splitter(3),,, Enclave Bruising grip,,, Enclave Calibrated capacitor,,, Enclave Comfort stock,,, Enclave Precise stock(2),,, Enclave Refined beta wave tuner(3),,, Enclave Severe beta wave tuner(2),,, Enclave Stabilized automatic barrel(3),,, Enclave Stabilized flamer barrel(2),,, Enclave Stabilized Sniper Barrel,,, Enclave True automatic barrel(2),,, Enclave True capacitor(5),,, Enclave True flamer barrel(2),,, Enclave True sniper barrel(3),,, Enclave True splitter(2),,, Enclave Vicious capacitor

Ive posted something similar on here before but I think half the reason Michelle even viciously argues that wearing things like leggings and jeans are “low value” (which btw, pretty disgusting to call somebody low value for wearing different clothes) is because she herself isn’t hot enough to pull off casual attire. If she went outside wearing a hoodie and jeans with no makeup, she would look horrendous to many people.
She needs to have a full feminine outfit, nails done, full face of makeup, etc to even look remotely presentable to many people. And even then she still looks so ugly 💀
Like trust me Michelle, please save your breath and stop trying to warn women that they’re not going to find men if they aren’t excessively over dressed. Hot girls in a baggy tee and sweats are still attracting way more guys than some ugly desperate girl who dresses formal.

I 'F 19' have been in a relationship with my boyfriend 'M 21' for a little over a year now. Since the begging of the relationship he has expressed a level of discomfort with how I dress and who I talk to. When we first started talking I would dress kind of like a scene girl, short shorts with striped thigh highs with the long converse. I might wear crop tops and baggy pants or tank tops as well. I wouldn't say I was dressing modestly, but I wouldn't say I presented myself as a "slut".
At first he requested to maybe tone down how much cleavage I would show, wear black tights under skirts and shorts, or only wear certain things when he's around. I was okay with this because I am okay with meeting in the middle to make my partner more comfortable. He would often defend his behaviors as a cultural difference, as he is from Latin America and came to the US to study. But as the relationship kept going he started to have issues with tops that show my collarbone, bottoms that stop above the knee, and whether or not you could see the outline of my butt in cargo jeans. He says he's uncomfortable because he doesn't want to be walking around with the girl who presents herself as "easy", and that it's disrespectful towards him.
Not only this, but he claims I made him feel betrayed and cheated on by talking to guys. He says that the first instance was when I had a male friend I met in college and knew for maybe a few months, we never really hung outside of school except for maybe once or twice. I didn't think much of it because he had a situationship with a girl at the time and would often talk about her. When I got with my boyfriend he would tell me to cut him off and that he's flirting, but it was just hard for me to justify doing that. At some point I did end up cutting the guy off because of a weird text he sent, but this is often used against me. Now I can't even talk to male coworkers without being accused of cheating, despite me listening to everything he says. If he tells me to cut people off or avoid them because he thinks they're flirting I do just that.
Another thing is that I can't see my friend instead of him, because I'm choosing her over him. And there's alot more but I don't want this to get too long. I talked to him about how all this made me feel everytime the issues came up, but his response was basically if I don't like it that I can leave because that's not the kind of woman he wants to date.
Despite all this I feel like we could be good together. He has treated me well, cooked for me, supported my art career, and has made me his priority. I can see him actively working for a future with me, but I feel that he can't seem to think critically about himself and his actions. His views on women and poltics can sometimes upset me, but I feel that we're so young that we have so much capacity to change that I don't want to leave him.
I sat him down and explained everything that I have an issue with and if there isn't changes that I want to leave. He promised to allow me to do what I want despite his feelings, because he loves me. I do see some improvements, even before I sat him down, but he's slipped up a little. I don't know if I trust him to keep his promises, or will the relationship just repeat itself? I also don't want to make him do something he doesn't want to do either...
TLDR: Boyfriend has extreme standards of what appropriate behaviors are for a woman but is promising to change. Advice on how to go about this?

[EU] My book Bottomless Purse
You do not need to be familiar with the Bottomless Purse universe to enjoy this short story. While it is set within the same universe, it stands alone as its own narrative.
***
The door to my rooftop garden opened and I heard my housemate Dillon call, “Hey, Charlie you got a walk-in!”
My hands were preoccupied with pruning one of my herbs, so I didn’t move, just replying, “Just wait there, I’ll be done in a second!”
I heard the door shut with a clang and after another thirty seconds or so of work, I put down the scissors and stood up from my small stool. The young man who’d knocked on my apartment door had walked over, standing a couple yards from me. “Hi,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “How can I help you?”
“You’re the witch?” he said slowly.
Sighing, I folded my arms. “Warlock. Did you expect a crone with a hooked nose and warts?” My appearance did not at all live up to that expectations. My black hair was curly and a bit mussed, and my wardrobe was ‘engineering chic’, a yellow t-shirt and jeans that I’d gotten at Goodwill on my budget as a student at NYU. My sneakers had been bought new but the bright blue coloring had dulled as they’d been worn in.
“I mean, sorta. I was at least expecting a girl. Charlie can be a girl’s name too.”
Rolling my eyes, I moved my stool to the right of the raised garden bed, in front of the next plant I needed to prune. “Gotcha. Sorry I don’t live up to stereotypes.” I picked up my scissors and got back to work.
“No, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be an ass,” he said quickly. Maybe he thought I’d turn him into a frog. “You’re in engineering? That’s what the Craigslist ad said. I’m Kyle, by the way.”
“Yup,” I replied as I snipped away at the plant. “Good to meet you, Kyle. I make potions just like any other warlock or witch; that’s this part of my job. But I diversify. It’s the best way to make the most money, and this place is not cheap.”
Kyle snorted. “I hear that. All right, so…what kind of potions do you make?”
“Just about anything that you would consider common,” I replied. “Anything legal, at least. What are you looking for?”
“Uh…love spell.”
I almost snipped one of the branches right off the plant. Slowly turning to look at him, I asked, “What?”
“My girlfriend, I…I think she’s cheating on me,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to lose her.”
Shoving myself to my feet, I glared at him. “Okay, I get that, but that’s still not okay,” I said tightly. “I said nothing illegal, and I should’ve said nothing immoral. This qualifies as both. And what do you mean you think she’s cheating on you? Have you seen it or not?”
Sliding his hands into his pockets, Kyle replied, “Well, she’s been texting someone else a lot. Cancelling plans. And I caught her in a lie when she said she was at the library and wasn’t.”
I shook my head. “There’s no such thing as a ‘love spell’. Did the internet tell you that?” I snapped.
“What? No, it said-”
“There’s mind control,” I interrupted him. “That’s it. Mind rape. That’s what you’re asking me for. A rape potion.”
Kyle’s eyes bulged. “What? No!” he cried. “That’s not what-”
“Yes, it is. Your girl doesn’t want to be with you anymore? Tough shit,” I told him. “You manipulate her brain into thinking she does, she’ll sleep with you even though she doesn’t want to. What do you call that?”
The young man swallowed hard. “Okay, forget it, I’m sorry I asked.”
“You better be,” I told him. Sighing, I shook my head. “Figure out whether she’s cheating the old fashioned way: ask her. It sounds suspicious to me, but I don’t know her. If she is, that sucks. That’s when you break up with her, not grab her and hold her tighter. All right?”
“Yeah,” he muttered.
“Listen. This isn’t what magic is for,” I told him, taking a couple steps so I was closer to him. “You get caught up in the black, that kind of power, it consumes you.” Motioning to the plants, I asked, “You need anything else? All natural Red Bull potion or something?”
Kyle perked up. “For real? You can make those?”

While on my way to meet up with Hakan, I was secretly excited about the possibility and prospect of getting the see and touch his massive wallet buige again. The whole time I was walking along the road and then as I stepped into the lift at his apartment building, I was constantly thinking of his I could pull off getting close enough to do all the thinks I wanted to do, without raising suspicions or looking suspicious. I nearly missed the floor when the doors opened due to me overthinking and I hadn't seen that someone else was sharing the lift with me and they were going further up the building.
I got to his door and knocked just like I had done the previous time I had visited him. The door opened and Hakan was once again in the process of putting on his shoes, I was starting to get a feeling deja vu about the situation at that point, then was snapped out of it as I saw him pick up his thick brown leather wallet from the table and slide it into his back pocket. I was immediately sent into overdrive thinking about his wallet as I watched it disappear inside his back pocket, causing yet again a massive bulge to stick out from his butt.
As we got the lift, it arrived and someone got out so we got in a pressed the button to go down, but the lift was already on a routine so we ended up going up to the next floor where about six people were waiting for the lift. Once they were all in and Hakan and Myself were pushed back into a corner, we were finally going down. It was as we were pushed back that I subconsciously got myself into a great position, as Hakan was slightly ahead of me so I was able to reach across the back of him and touch his wallet bulge.
I started off stroking the flat surface of the bulge, then moved onto running my fingers along all the edges and underneath bottom of the bulge itself. As the list descended and bounced I could feel the wallet houncing slightly in his back pocket. Hakan was checking some messages on his phone as we went down, so i able to use his distraction as a perfect cover for what I was doing. The lift reached the ground floor and the doors opened, group left first as we slowly followed them out, I was still rubbing his bulge as we exited the lift, and so I was getting the full benefit of the bounce and sway that I had been watching the previous time.
We exited his apartment building and turned towards the town centre to start the days adventure, which was to start off with a trip to the gaming centre to check out the new games that had been released and then we would be going to multiplex to see about some howling or just to play on the arcade machines. As we made our way down the road, I was constantly glancing down checking his buige, and watching it bounce and sway and always dreaming of touching it. When we stopped at the crossing, there was a group of people who stopped and sort of gather around us, I looked around then out the corner of my eye, then I stepped a little closer to Hakan and had a quick feel of his bulge, before we stepped off and crossed the road.
Soon we arrived at the gaming centre and we were in need of pushing our way through some of the crowd to get into the shop to start with. Hakan took the lead and I followed him close behind, what I did was put my hand on his shoulder so that he knew I was there while shaking our way through, what I also did was grabbed hold of his wallet bulge and held it while we were walking, I lift slightly and basically took all the weight in my hand for a few moments, before I was back to just running my fingers around the edges and stroking the flat surface.
Finally we were through the crowd and into the back area where it was quieter and less populated, I released my hands from his shoulder and his wallet bulge and we started to slowly look around at the games and consoles they had on offer. After what I think was about 20 minutes neither Hakan or Myself had found anything that interested us, so we decided to leave the gaming centre empty handed this time. Thankfully there is an exit door so we didn't have to try and battle out way out of the store again. Once outside we immediately started to walk towards the multiplex building to see what was available for us entertain ourselves with for a few hours.
When we arrived at the multiplex building it was busy as expected for summertime, we saw immediately after entering that we wasn't going to be doing any bowling, as all twelve of the lanes were full and a queue was forming to replace anybody that left. So we turned our attentions to the arcade section of the building, which seemed to be a lot less populated. After walking about looking at the different games and machines, Hakan decided to have a go on the motorcycle racing machine, while I had a few turns on the claw machine and 10p slot machine.
About 10 minutes later I happened to turn to check on Hakan and that was when I saw his massive bulge resting on the seat of the motorcycle he was perched on. Due to his positioning his bulge was being pushed up and was looking even larger and more inviting than before. I came to the end of may turn on the claw machine, turned and walked over to where Hakan was still playing on the moto-racing machine. I came to a halt next to him and started a conversation about the machine as I hadn't actually played on one before. He offered to get off after his turn so that I could have a go, but I declined saying that I would watch him to get some pointers and see how an experienced rider does.
What I really wanted to do was keep him in this position for as long as possible to get some time on his wallet bulge again. As he was going through didn't parts of the game explaining them I was standing next to the machine looking at the screen, what he couldn't see was that I had my hand on his wallet bulge, slowly moving over every inch of the solid bulge. I moved my fingers down below the bulge and at the right time of when he would lean towards me, I pushed upwards on the bottom of the bulge and managed to push his wallet up and actually it was enough force the wallet to breach the opening of the back pocket. When he returned to the upright, I saw his wallet now poking out of his back pocket.
I took a slight step back and watched the game, his techniques and more importantly his wallet moving up and down in his back pocket. When the bike started to shake due to the course he was riding, I couldn't believe my eyes as 1 watched his thick heavy wallet bouncing up and down in his back pocket and then slowly it was worked further out of his pocket and then as he took a turn, the wallet fell out completely to the floor. I quickly moved in and picked it up before anybody else saw it and thought about stealing it. I stood there holding his heavy wallet in my hand, but soon decided that I needed to hide it, so I slipped it into my own back pocket and oh wow, it was big, it was thick, it was heavy and it was there in my back pocket.
I decide to walk about to check out something and I had only gone a few steps and could feel the widget of the heavy wallet bouncing and swaying inside my pocket. I dropped a coin on the floor and bent over to pick it up and holy smokes, I could feel just his solid the wallet was in my back pocket as I bent over snd my jeans were pulled tighter than ever across my butt due to the size of the wallet in the back pocket. Soon I was standing next to Hakan as he was finishing a game on the machine, I lent against the railing next to the machine and caught sight of my butt in the reflection of the machine and I could see just how massive the wallet looked in own back pocket. Hakan had finished his game and had climbed down from the machine and just then he stopped and grabbed at his butt and looked worried, before bending to checking around the machine on the floor.
I called him over and then as he got to me and was about to say something. reached round and pulled his wallet out of my back pocket and told him that I watched it get pushed out and fall on the floor, so I picked it up and stored it in my pocket for him. He took the wallet back and slipped it into his own back pocket. He turned to see if the bowling was available and this was when I was once again able to admire his thick heavy wallet in its nature setting.