Once in the brush a solid 50 feet into it, I was able to start taking inventory of my gear and inspecting my gear. My phone was not bricked which was a blessing, however it was failing to pick up any kind of signal, battery was still full along with the solar charging pack that I kept on the outside of ole Alice. Both of my red dots were still on, all the flashlights turned on without issue, and the pvs-15 I had secured in a water proof box was in better shape than I expected. Food… enough for another 5 days if I stretch it out properly, water is good for now, I should be able to refill off the river and sanitize it. Lets get most of this shoved back in along with the plastic covered brick… ‘ ‘Oh fuck this proably a kilo of coke, neat.’ The sound of organized marching immediately caught my ears, which was strange since I was seemingly in the middle of nowhere though that only raised further concerns, marching with that level of sync meant military. If it is military, then someone in a kit with this kind of gear will probably be immediately shot. ‘Fuck fuck fuck… Alright, calm down and think, if they see you they shoot on sight or try to take your prisoner, at best you are taken to the closest American embassy… Death on one hand and a hopefully peaceful return on the other… or I could follow them to their camp or base and try to go from there based on whatever language they speak their equipment… Then try to make my way to the nearest embassy or port that way…’ As my thoughts raced, a woman's scream tore my mind from the deepening hole it was attempting to dig. Now shit had just taken a drastic turn, the ever rumbling sound of lock step marching was continuing, but there was a smaller amount than before. ‘Interesting, time to make a bad situation even worse.’ I grabbed my small carbine and quickly began creeping towards the edge of the woodline to begin taking a peak and observing the nearby forces. Hoping that it was some sort of NATO ally or at least some sort of uniform that I could use to easily identify what region of the world I was in. ‘What the fuck….’ I let my AR dip into its sling so I could rub my sweat dried eyes before looking back out, it looked like I was observing a strange mix of a Roman Legion and medieval knights, which honestly made little sense since seeing as the fighting doctrine for both usually did not overlap. The internal debate aside, I was able to see about 5 of the wanna be Romans running after what looked to be a mother and child, in modern looking clothes, they were making a break towards the river. Unfortunately, the Legionaries were gaining swiftly. Dropping to a crouched position, I lined up the small red dot on the side of the furthest forward man, he was reaching out trying to grab the child and wasn’t focused on his footing going over the rocky bank, a wiry smile grew on my face as I click the safety of the carbine and begin the slow squeeze of the trigger. An old prayer that I had heard from an infantry chaplain came to mind as the first shot against another person left the barrel. “Lord make me fast and accurate, may my aim be true and heart in the right, but should today be my last O’ Lord then let me leave this world in an empty pile of brass, so that when I report to Saint Peter he can find an empty space just for me, in your Son’s blessed and Holy name… AMEN!”
The hammer drops on to the back of the firing pin, launching it forward into the back of the primer cap, igniting it and launching the 62 grain clump of steel and copper down the 11.5 inch barrel and the additional 6 inches of suppressor, throwing it out at speeds thought impossible by the folks of this world as it spun right into the Legionnaire's exposed armpit, tearing muscle and bone with a fresh wave of hatred. As the steel cored round began to break down and send the fragmentation of itself and the bones it shattered into the various organs, the final remains of the bullet tore through the heart, ending the man's life. His body laid out in a dead flop, tripping his allies as they were not prepared for the sudden death, adjusting my aim to the last man of the group, aiming for just below the edge of his helmet and firing twice, throwing two more rounds down range. The first one tearing through his bicep with the other catching him in the throat. By now they had noticed that this wasn’t the typical trip up but rather, what you can consider an impromptu ambush. ‘Good’

Well it finally happened, I had my first bad experience with Thredup after many orders over the past few years. I've had lots of items not match measurements, but I've never bothered to reach out to support about them. This is the first time I actually opened up a chat.
I'm curious on other's experiences trying to get refunded, as this was entirely Thredup's mistakes.
I ordered a jacket that was listed in "excellent" and "like new" condition, and immediately the first thing I noticed was that the pockets were FULL of trash. Tissues with obvious snot stains, a used mascara brush, and random crumpled plastic/paper bits. I have gotten items with stuff in the pockets before, but never this gross. I felt like I needed latex gloves to handle it.
I usually also inspect everything I get for weird stains. Pretty quickly I found its got a >2" rip in the lining, and the rip is in the fabric itself, not just a loose seam. Some of the jacket's insulation was starting to fall out of the rip.
At any reputable clothing store, if they sent you a defective item that did not match the listing, they would refund and tell you to keep the item. I'm currently fighting them on getting refunded. Instead of issuing a refund, they asked me to return the item for credit, shipping covered. I again said that this was falsely represented and warrants a refund, not a return, and they came back saying I could keep the item for 25% of the cost in store credit. I reiterated to them again that it's unacceptable and that it warrants a cash refund, and I don't know if I'm going to hear back at this point.
I am am trying to keep the item and get it mended with a tailor because A. its the most eco friendly option and B. god knows they would just relist it with the same description and make someone else deal with this shit. The item is also not that expensive to begin with, and i can't imagine they would profit much if at all after paying shipping, and restocking at the warehouse.
I have read other's bad experiences with the site on this sub before, but I had ordered so many items without issue that I assumed it was very rare. This one experience has really soured my impression of them. This on top of no longer listing measurements for a lot of items has made me frustrated and I think it's time to take a break from Thredup.

[INDEX]
I banked the fire and stared into the golden eyes of Beatale before I crept into my makeshift tent.
I still had my auric vision running and couldn’t help but notice the thin silver cord that ran from me to Horse. Firming up my aura, I reached out with my hand and grabbed it. I could feel the nearly imperceptible vibration between my fingers as I used my mind to probe at the thread. I could feel a bright spark of intellect, a light at the end of a tunnel. Pushing with my mind, I slid down the thread until the spark grew larger and eventually filled my inner vision with a hazy white light. Horsey thoughts nudged at me curiously.
I slid into the haze and immediately lost all sense of direction. If it wasn’t for the silver thread, I’d have no idea how to exit this shifting white fog. Horsey thoughts got stronger as I followed the thread while the haze thinned and cleared to reveal an endless prairie of green grass. I found myself standing before a naked man wearing a horse mask and I stared in shock. It was obviously me wearing a cheap costume horse mask — there was no mistaking my tattoos.
“What did you expect?” Horse neighed at me. “I am you and you are me and we are all together. Goo goo ga joob.”
Horse made a shooing motion with his hands and I accelerated backwards through the white haze and slammed into my own body with a gasp. I stared at the tarp overhead for a long minute, processing this new revelation. Horse was a part of me, a piece of my spirit. Whatever psychic stuff I did with that silver cord lead me into a house of mirrors where I got to look at myself pretending to be a horse. I can’t even deal with that right now.
Rolling into my blankets, I dropped off to sleep.
*Ding*
-=- - Welcome to the Dreamworld - Included in the Psychic Skills pack, the Inner Sanctum is your psychic domain. It is the mental fortress that you must secure and maintain to defend against psychic and spiritual assaults. All of your neurosis and fears are symbolised in this realm and must be defeated or subjugated before you can become master of the domain. Good luck. -=-
I banished the pop-up and looked around. I knew I was asleep, but everything was just as real as when I was awake. I was breathing, I could feel the floor under my feet, and if it weren’t for the pop-up, I would have sworn I had been teleported. The room I was in resembled an oversized luxury prison cell, maybe a thirty foot cube. No windows. Rough stone walls with thick mortar. Large brass wall sconces were set directly into the stone and suffused the room with a warm, golden light provided by glowing rocks. The stone floor had colourful Persian rugs tastefully placed. A high plaster ceiling was painted with a rendition of Michelangelo’s ‘Creation of Adam’, depicting me as both Adam and God.
There was a comfy sofa in front of a large screen television that hung from one wall and an ornate grandfather clock ticked loudly in the corner. It was currently 10:08 PM. Another wall was a floor to ceiling bookshelf, stuffed with books of varying sizes. The third wall was covered with pictures and I could see at a glance that they were images from my life. The fourth wall had a thick riveted steel door on the right side, a full sized mirror on the left, and a computer workstation in the middle.
The picture wall was my first target. A few were quite large, nearly life sized, while others were tiny prints no larger than the palm of my hand. Scenes of my life were displayed in each one. The largest was me riding Horse with a shit-scared expression, shooting at a pack of wolves. Others were smaller, each with different frames. Some ornate gold or silver, others plain wood, a few wrapped in briars or barbed wire. Nanny Ramsey holding me as a young child. My dog Jean with a red ball in his mouth. My parents, screaming at me. I turned my attention to the books. Books are safe. Books don’t judge you.
The sweet, musty scent of a used book store filled my nostrils as I drew close to the honey coloured shelves. Hundreds of volumes filled the wall from floor to ceiling, with a ladder that could be rolled along a rail to access the top. I smiled at the sight. I had always wanted a library like this. I pulled a book at random and read the title, “Confused Fantasies about Joseph Harris, part XXIV of the Middle School Years”.
I slid the book back onto the shelf. Let’s see what’s on TV.
The remote was a slim, futuristic looking affair with a minimum of buttons. I pointed it at the television and moments later the huge screen came to life and presented me with a simple menu for movies, divided into six categories: Happy, Surprised, Afraid, Disgusted, Angry, and Sad. I scrolled through the offerings for a minute, reading the titles and reviews about the movies of my life. It really bothered me that there were so few selections in the Happy section.
The number of Sad movies increased by one.
I walked over to the mirror and noticed there was a small sticky note pasted to it. “Astral Realm. Experienced users only.” I shoved the note in my pocket and stared at my image. Sturdy black boots, black denim jeans and shirt with mother-of-pearl buttons, deep brown gun belt slung at my hip, red bandanna and black felt hat. All I needed was a pencil moustache and I would look like the stereotypical villain in any spaghetti western. At that very moment I decided to grow out a goatee. I’d rather be mistaken for a bad guy than a victim.
So how does this astral realm thing work?
The mirror appeared to be nothing more than a mirror. It was cold, smooth glass surrounded by a wrought iron frame, and reflected my image. I didn’t necessarily want to go walking into danger, but I wanted to know how it worked. I pushed and prodded the glass in frustration until I noticed my image grinning at me. I jumped back in surprise and it doubled over in silent laughter.
“Hilarious, dude. You got me,” I huffed. “So how do I get in?”
My mirror-self tipped his hat and stepped to side.
I reached up to the mirror again and my hand passed through, vanishing as if cut off. Okay, just a quick peek and we’ll explore the rest of the room. I stepped through and the world shifted around me. I was standing back at the campsite. My body was insubstantial as a ghost and the tarp was a wisp of substance running straight through me. Non living things don’t seem to have much presence in this realm. Glancing down, I saw my sleeping body rolled up in the blankets, a thin silver thread running from it to me, and another thread running to Horse.
Looking around, I surveyed the campsite. My astral vision seemed to be on and had an unlimited range. I could see the life all around me, the distant forest was a sea of greenish-gold, grasses and brush nearby glowed with spectral light. Tiny ghost insects scurried while ghost mice nibbled at whatever ghost mice nibble on. Ghost seeds and ghost insects, I suppose. I turned my attention overhead and gaped at the sight of a monstrous serpentine spirit flying through the inky void. I dropped back through the tent and rolled inside my body. That was plenty enough for now.
I rolled through the mirror and landed flat on my back, staring at the fresco on the ceiling. Vinnie-God winked at me and Vinnie-Adam grinned. Climbing to my knees, I brushed non-existent dust from my trousers and watched mirror-me doubled over in soundless laughter.
“Hey, laughing-boy!” I yelled at him. “You’re like the guardian or something, right? You got it covered?”
Mirror-me stood and saluted with a smile, then gave me two thumbs up. A moment later, his face took on a serious expression and he wriggled his right hand in the ‘maybe’ motion. Then he pointed at me, tapped his wrist, and then a finger to his head.
It all depends on how fast I learn stuff, I guess.
Two thumbs up and a winning smile reflected back to me.
A large cork board was mounted to the wall over the computer and a small note was pinned to it. “Note to self: Don’t fuck with the Elvish womens.”
The computer screen featured a screensaver of me as Vitruvian Man doing callisthenics over the words ‘HumanOS’. I tapped the spacebar and was rewarded with the sound of powerful fans kicking to life as the computer emerged from sleep mode and prompted me for a password. Should I assume it’s the same as the password on the computer I pawned in my previous life?
Password: *******esi
I was rewarded with a sweet R&M desktop and a couple of icons. System, NeuralNet, My-Tunes, My-Movies, My-Office.
System was just what I expected, lots of .dna files and other confusing scariness that allowed me to tweak my physical body and mental state. My-Tunes was a collection of every song I’d ever heard and My-Movies was a collection of every movie I’d ever seen. Not that I’m complaining, but it would have been nice to have “My-Games” so I could play RDR. My-Office was a clone of the popular software by a similar name. I have no idea what I’ll ever need a spreadsheet for in this world.
NuralNet opened up a search engine called Me-Seeks, featuring a familiar blue guy.
I typed in “beer” and several thousand results were displayed, anything I’d ever read, heard, or watched about beer, including how to make it. This right here made the price of admission totally worth it, access to an exact copy of everything I’d ever read, and I was a voracious reader. Sadly, most of the stuff I read was futurology — solar panels, electronics, biotech advancements, quantum computing. The material for steam engines, blacksmithing, farming and the like, were slim pickings. That’s okay though, I could still reproduce the Gutenberg press, the cotton gin, simple internal combustion engines, and basic batteries along with some sketchy knowledge of metal alloys, acids, bases, and other things I had read over the years. All that wasted time watching “How Things Work” was finally going to pay off. I copied a few likely money makers to My-Office, saved the file, and exported to my Notes, just in case they didn’t exist on Aerth.
A popup covered the screen.
📱 [New Upgrade Available!] 📱
🎉 Enhance Your Experience with the Latest HumanOS Features! 🎉
🌟 Features Include:

• 🧠 Memory Booster: Increase your Memory for smoother multitasking and improved performance.
• 🔋 Energy Optimizer: Extend your battery life with advanced power-saving techniques.
• 🛠️ Utility Upgrades: Access new apps and utilities to enhance your daily life and adventures.
• 🗺️ Advanced Mapping: Never get lost again with enhanced GPS and location tracking.

🔥 Special Offer: Only 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0! 🔥
[Upgrade Now ✅] [Remind Me Later ❌]
Apparently I could upgrade myself, which reduced the cost of using my Utilities while providing other minor benefits. My Utilities would level up as I used them, which would increase their battery cost, so if I didn’t keep pace with an update to the OS they could become prohibitively expensive to operate.
Stupid pay-to-win world.
So, do I pay 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0?
I selected version 3.0 and klicked [Install]. After watching it download the update, it popped up another screen that asked if I wanted to update now, or wait until Midnight for the mandatory update.
I selected [No] just as the grandfather clock chimed 10:30 PM. I wondered if time ran slower in here, because it seemed like I had spent a lot more time on the computer than 15 minutes. Walking over to the imposing steel door, I noticed a bronze key with a thin chain in the lock. There was another sticky note on the door. “Subconscious. Please keep the key with you at all times.”
That’s not scary at all, is it?
I unlocked the door with a loud clunk and pulled it open to reveal a bedroom straight out of some royal castle. I could tell immediately that it had seen better days. The tapestries on the wall were frayed and fading. The canopy over the bed had a few holes in it. A thin layer of dust covered the mantle of a small fireplace set into the wall. There was a window letting in bright sunlight and I moved over to look outside.
I was on the third floor of a keep surrounded by the walls and turrets of a modest castle. A castle that had fallen into serious disrepair. Did this represent the state of my inner mind? One tower was shattered and the curtain wall under it damaged. The lower bailey was full of litter. I could see a few soldiers walking around the allure, keeping watch.
I have people in my subconscious?
Someone behind me cleared their throat.
Whirling, I discovered a familiar old man standing in the door of the bedroom. What was left of his hair formed a white halo around his head, his face was unshaven and covered with several days of growth. He was dressed like a poor and tattered manservant, but carried himself with a dignified air.
“Woodhouse?”
“It’s nice to see the master at home,” He said with a proper English accent. “There are many matters that require the master’s attention.”
“Uh, sure,” I said, hanging the key around my neck and tucking it in my shirt. “And who are you again?”
“Your personal manservant, of course” he said with a slight bow. Walking over to the steel door, he pulled it closed and it locked with a solid thunk. “Master should always keep his inner sanctum closed. One never knows if something nasty will creep in.”
“Thank you, uh, Woodhouse. I’ll remember that,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “So what needs tending and how do things work around here?”
He smiled and beckoned me with a white gloved hand. “If master would be so kind as to follow me, I’ll introduce him to the staff and explain the duties and obligations of his domain.”
I’m 99.9% certain that everyone here is just me wearing a mask, so I shrugged and followed Woodhouse out of the bedroom and into the rest of my subconscious.
Five minutes later I was on the ground floor and seated on a shabby throne with the cast of a popular —and probably very copyright protected— animation in front of me. Woodhouse was the head butler and my personal manservant. Pam was the cook and demanded that I start importing sugar and alcohol before she was shushed by Woodhouse. Carol was a maid. Krieger was chancellor and Cyril was the steward. Archer and Lana were in charge of security. Ray was the marshal in charge of everything from the stables to the blacksmith.
I stared in disbelief at the motley crew kneeling in front of me. No wonder my inner mind was in such shambles. I was overcome with an irrational sense of anger at myself.
“Arright, listen up,” I barked, my voice echoing around the room. “I swear to God that I will fire every single one of you and hire circus clowns to replace you if you keep fucking things up. No joke. Circus clowns, got it?”
I ran a hand over my face as Ray pissed himself. “The only reason I’m not putting a boot in your asses right now is because I realise that you’re aspects of me, and the people you represent are pretty damn good at their jobs when they give enough of a shit to actually do them. As a team, you’re dysfunctionally fantastic and always seem to come out ahead no matter the odds.”
Heaving a sigh, I continued. “Things have changed and I need to get my shit together. I’m going to need every one of you to pull your weight and help me help you. Get back to your duties, I’ll meet you one on one later.”
My subconscious caretakers scurried out of the room.
“I’ll have one of the maids tend to the piss,” Woodhouse assured me.
“Never mind that,” I snapped. “I honestly had no idea my mind was such a shit show. I’m very disappointed in myself.” I pictured the Angry, Sad, and Disgusted counters on my personal movies clicking up. “Show me what needs to be done and let’s get started.”
During Woodhouse’s walking tour, everything clicked into place. This was some altered version of Bodiam castle, a location that was on my bucket list of places to visit. The royal council room, located behind the throne room, contained a “living” tapestry on the wall that showed the castle and surrounding land in real time. The castle was located in the middle of a small lake, and a single wood bridge led to the mainland. A small town surrounded the lake and a wall encircled the town. Outside the wall, the land was an irregular patchwork of forest and field, with a stinking swamp to the south. The entire “kingdom” was maybe ten miles across, surrounded by impassable mountains with innumerable creeks that fed the lake which drained into the southern swamp.
“Zombies are the problem, sir.” Woodhouse said, as I surveyed the living tapestry of my mental domain.
“Zombies?” I prompted.
“Yes sir, Zombies” Woodhouse continued. “Nasty bitey things that come in from the mountains and harass the peasants. They’ve gotten especially worse over the last few months. The soldiers do what they can, but they seem to have lost all motivation. Probably because they haven’t been paid.”
“And who pays them?”
“Typically chancellor Krieger is in charge of financial matters, although Steward Figgis has taken over the duty, sir.”
“Then let’s make Figgis our first stop.”
“Very good, sir.”
The office of the steward was run by Cyril Figgis, who managed the kingdom in my absence. It was overflowing with paperwork and charts, books and scrolls piled high on every flat surface. Cyril was desperately attempting to tidy things when Woodhouse and I walked in.
“Yo..you..your majesty,” Cyril stuttered, bowing low. Scrolls fell from his overloaded arms, spilling across the floor. He dropped to his knees and scrambled to gather them up. “I didn’t expect you to visit so soon. Please forgive the mess, housekeeping has been slacking…”
This was the guy who ran things while I was conscious.
“Shut up, Cyril” I said. “You’re responsible for everything in this office. That includes keeping it organised and tidy.”
“Y..yes milord.”
“It’s my understanding that you’re in charge of making sure everyone gets paid. So why aren’t we paying people?” I asked.
“We’re nearly out of Fuks, your majesty. I’ve been saving them for emergencies.”
“Fucks?”
“Fuks,” Cyril explained, pushing a pile of books off a large chest and opening it. Reaching inside he pulled out two small bags and emptied them on top of his cluttered desk. “Gold and Silver Fuks, the currency of the kingdom. I can’t maintain the kingdom when I have no Fuks to give.”
Behold the subconscious kingdom of Vincent J. Carter, it runs on Fuks.
“So how do I get more fuks?” I asked, examining one of the coins. It had an image of me on one side and symbol on the other that could be interpreted as “peace among worlds”.
“You kill the zombies, your majesty.”
Of course I do.
Woodhouse and I left Cyril’s office and headed towards the office of the chancellor where Krieger worked. It seemed that Cyril took over financial matters when Krieger became erratic and proposed luring all the zombies into the city and setting it on fire. Not sure how that corresponds to my own self-destructive behaviour, but I’ve had some dark thoughts over the last couple of months and I’m sure they’re reflected here.
Krieger’s office was much neater in comparison to Cyril’s, but it wasn’t by much. Shelves lined the walls and were filled with an array of questionable items, including a still snapping zombie head in a jar. While the office of the chancellor was supposed to be in charge of financial matters, it looked more like a dodgy rummage sale.
Krieger was launching sword blades at a pig carcass when we walked in.
“What exactly are you doing?” I asked, standing in the doorway.
“Hm? Oh, your majesty!” he said, turning around and bowing deeply. “I’m testing a new invention. It’s a spring loaded hilt that shoots sword blades. Very useful for our soldiers.”
“Stupidest idea ever,” I snapped. “I hate everything about it.”
“Okay,” Krieger said, tossing the hilt into a nearby pile of junk. “But don’t blame me when you need to shoot a sword at a zombie and don’t have one.”
“So why aren’t you managing the financial affairs? Collecting taxes, paying people, stuff like that?”
“Because the population has declined so much none of that matters?”
“What do you mean?”
“Wellll, the population represents things you care about,” Krieger said, going into lecture mode. “And the zombies and other monsters are real or imagined problems in your way. Since you don’t care about too many things the population has shrunk to just what’s needed to keep everything running on the bare minimum of fuks. And since you don’t seem to have any long or short term goals, there’s no need to kill off the zombies and get more fuks. Everything is fine just the way it is.”
“No, it’s not Krieger” I said, grinding my teeth. “My mind is in a shambles. It’s a joke. I want it fixed. No, I want it better than fixed. I want it improved.”
“Oh! I’ve got just the thing for that!” He said, digging around in his pockets, “It’s a spring-loaded hilt that shoots swords!”
Pam and Cheryl were hanging out a gallery window jeering at Archer and Lana sparring in the inner courtyard.
“What the hell are you doing!” I snapped
They whirled in surprise and then dropped into deep curtseys.
“Your majesty!”
I took a deep breath, trying to regain my centre. “Get to work cleaning this place up. Find a room, clean it, and move on to the next. Start with my bedroom, then the throne room and the council chamber, then everything else.”
Cheryl spoke up. “Can’t do it. We got no fuks to clean with.”
“You need fuks to clean?”
“Gotta buy stuff,” Pam said. “Cleaning supplies, food. You wanna eat, you’re gonna have to spend some fuks.”
“Talk to Cyril,” I ordered. “Tell him I said to get you supplied.”
They ran off in the direction of the stewards office.
I watched Archer and Lana bashing each other enthusiastically through the window.
Several minutes later the sparring couple stopped and bowed when Woodhouse and I stepped into the inner courtyard.
“Your majesty”
“My liege”
“Enough,” I said. “If you have enough energy to smash each other, you have enough energy to smash zombies. Tell me what I need to know so I can start gathering fuks.”
Archer shrugged and spoke first. “You just kill the zombies and other monsters. They drop fuks.”
“Anything special about the zombies?” I asked. “Are they fast? Do people get turned into zombies when bitten?”
“Nope,” Lana said, resting her wooden sword on her shoulder. “Most of them are slow shamblers and just need a good wack to the head to kill them.”
“Some are special,” Archer interjected. “Occasionally you’ll have some fast ones, or those that need holy water to kill. They’re just bad memories, figments of your personality that need to be eliminated. Some are worse than others.”
“The zombies are bad memories?” I asked, imagining all the bad memories that I had.
“Memories, thoughts, insecurities, metaphysical mumbo-jumbo,” Woodhouse supplied. “They are endless, but constant vigilance can keep them under control.”
“So let’s get started,” I said. “Lead the way.”
Lana and Archer lead me up to the parapet over the front gate where I looked over at the dozens of zombies milling about aimlessly in front of the entrance to my mind. Pulling out my gun, I began to pick them off, easy as shooting fish in a barrel. The crack of my spell pistol attracted more zombies and I dispatched them with ease until no more were left around the gate. As I fired each shot I could feel some sort of existential energy flowing from me, draining some hidden reserve.
“Gather up the Fuks,” I commanded. “And Lana?”
“Mi’lord?”
“There’s no excuse for this. From now on, I expect the walls to be clear of all zombies.”
“Yes mi’lord,” she said, giving me a small bow.
Turning to Archer, I shook my head. “You’re obviously my personal narcissism, so just try to stay out of Lana’s way, or better yet - try to kill more zombies than her. If you think you can.”
Archer scoffed. “No contest. I took top marks in sharpshooting.”
“That means I should expect to see results by tomorrow. I look forward to it.”
Archer looked panicked for a moment then smiled. “Sure, I can give you results.”
Turning back to Woodhouse I said “Show me what else need attending.”
Woodhouse led me through the town that represented my mind, pointing out each business that had fallen into disrepair, suggested others that needed improvements, and additions that would benefit me. In the distance, I could hear Lana and Archer shooting at the crowd of zombies and with each echoing shot I felt a tiny bit better about everything.
[INDEX]

It’s true what everyone said on this forum, 7 and a half months/8 months really is the huge turning point
It’s funny, I still wake up crying often. But crying has always been something beautiful to me. It’s a sign that things are moving, things are healing.
I’m not frozen in fear. Hypervigilant and having rolling panic attacks for days on end.
PTSD is literally the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. I wish there was some bullshit silver lining in that but there’s not. It’s fucking awful, but I’m so thankful and relieved that we have amazing, powerful therapies like EMDR. We don’t have to suffer in pain for months and decades of our lives. We can heal, we can grow, we can recover.
I’m feeling lighter and happier. I have more perspective. I realize what happened to me is not my fault. My panic attacks have switched from three day long anxiety fests to like an evening after I get triggered, and I’m not done yet.
I’m feeling so hopeful and optimistic about the future. I’m excited for the summer, I’m planning things, I have so much love in my heart for my friends. Small things like hot chocolate and bubble baths and yellow roses make my heart so happy.
I never thought I would get here. I felt stuck and broken. I was terrified I’d be terrified forever. But we can always heal.
“Trauma is a fact of life but it doesn’t have to be a life sentence.”
My life has been full of trauma but it’s also been full of growth, healing and self discovery. I work through the pain and I heal myself everyday, I don’t give up on myself, I don’t abandon myself when sometimes all I want to do is not exist (when I’m in the middle of that pain) and if you’re here - neither do you.
And you should be so proud of yourself for that. You are an amazing human being that you are so resilient and you try so hard for yourself when it would be so fucking easy to just give up. Well fuck that coz that’s just what our abusers and perpetrators want us to do. Let’s heal and move forward and leave them to rot in their self-imposed misery and pain.
One thing I’ve been thinking about is I wonder if people with PTSD/CPTSD have more sensitive nervous systems. I believe that “mental illness” is a natural response to awful circumstances and that most people in one way or another have struggles with and anxiety and depression. Because we have been through so much, we suffer more.
Sometimes it is so unfair that we get “stuck” with PTSD and CPTSD after our trauma (with PTSD being statistically unlikely for many) but I also wonder if our sensitivity is also a gift, we feel our pain and our fear more deeply than others but we also feel things like love, joy and gratitude more deeply than others too. We are so sensitive to the world and the beauty in it (as well as all that is awful) because we understand how fragile and vulnerable it is. We know life can be taken in a second. Many people are asleep to that and they never know and realize the preciousness of life and all those little moments until they’re on their deathbed. We’ve already been there in a way. We brushed with death in one form or another and survived. And our life is a tragic gift because of it. And there’s so much bittersweet growth and insight to be found in that. I’d most definitely give it back ;) but there is no back, so what is the lesson? What is the beauty? It’s hard to see where you’re suffering so acutely, but it’s easier to see once you get out onto the other side a little.
I felt so hopeless even a month or two ago but now I’m seeing so much goodness and growth and recovery
Maybe tomorrow I might feel differently. Maybe I’ll want to die again. But maybe I won’t. 😊😉
Keep going 💛

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PRs: u/anakist & u/BroDogIsMyName
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Ceele strolled through the damp grass along the outskirts of the village, a spring in her step and the dwindling scent of dew following behind. It rained yesterday, which had prevented her from going out to gather supplies, but the mild morning air had been accommodating enough for her to get an early start and make the trip. She was glad she did.
One hand clutched her new prize to her chest, while the other held a fraying wicker basket filled with herbs and some edible roots she gathered by exploring the forbidden forest. Despite her reservations regarding where she chose to go, her excitement now lingered like a steady thrum of shifting stones, giving her energy that defied how long she had been walking. She all but pranced beneath the burgeoning night's sky, gleefully toeing the line between the dirt pathways of the settlement’s outskirts and the trees of unclaimed land. Normally, her path back home would never be so close to the village, but she was far too gleeful to mind. She had come back with a sense of fulfillment and a rare object—or if not rare, then hopefully of great value.
It was hard to point to any one specific reason that she came across the orb. There had always been a ‘draw’ during her travels, urging her that there was something missing in her life, yet it was no more than a mild whim to walk in a particular direction more often than not. Once she reached this part of the continent, she was compelled to wander, never quite able to explain why she obliged the sensation besides having nowhere in particular to be. Even when she finally settled somewhere, it stayed in the back of her mind, suggesting that she was close to whatever would make the pit of vacancy go away. She ignored it, purposefully distracting herself with her work and responsibilities, yet that could only last so long. When she awoke this morning with plans to resupply, and all of her newfound spots had been picked clean by wildlife, she turned to the depths of the forest where she was warned not to tread. It was all too easy to follow the subtle tug in her chest through the loose justification.
The urge to be somewhere grew unbearable with every step closer to the forbidden area. That sense of having a direction she needed to go became stronger and stronger, until she was well into land long since forgotten. She came across an overgrown depression in the hillside, and was entranced by the foreboding image. Something about the cave just…beckoned her. She was far too weak to resist.
Horrible tales echoed into her ears as whispers of fearful voices, warning and unending, yet but a dull drone compared to her hammering heart. She navigated the trees and brushed aside unkempt vines, stepping into the cavern with a mix of expectation and trepidation, then laid eyes on the small obsidian stone perched atop a crumbling pillar. The feeling of needing to travel somewhere…stopped.
The pull was absent, which was why she held the orb close instead of placing it into her basket. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but she recalled overheard tales of hidden gemstones, deep cavernous expanses, and the untold terrors that lay within. Comparing the scenes of those fables to the cave seemed foolish now; it wasn’t some torturous chamber, but a dusty depression in a small hillside. Besides, anything this pretty was sure to be worth a fair sum, and she needed the coin. Yet the thought of selling the precious-looking stone was a conflicting one. She shook off the thought for the time being, turning her attention back towards where she was going.
Shadows stretched and faded as the moon stole the last of the illumination afforded by the sun, replacing it with a calming glow that caressed the log frames and thatched roofs of various homes. A star-filled sky came into prominence as clouds lazily drifted away, revealing the promise of tomorrow’s fair-weathered arrival. It was too late for anyone to notice her treading on the edge of their town while lost in thought, but she was still careful not to get too close to the houses or livestock pens where people might be finishing the evening’s duties. It was best that they didn’t see her returning from a place she was told not to go. Still, her feet carried her near the dwellings as she took in the noises.
Ceele enjoyed the comforting chatter from a distance. Indistinct words floated freely. Meaningless gossip and warm goodbyes were exchanged between friends and family. Places of various occupations were dark and quiet, only the faint contented mewls and clucks of livestock coming from their pastures as they ate what was recently put out for them. No metal rang throughout the streets as it was struck inside a centralized smithy, no heated bartering came from an overactive trade house, and the crunch of dirt beneath transport or merchant wagons was absent, replaced by the rapid steps and yelps of children rushing to their homes before it got too dark out. It was all just gentle conversation and life drifting through the wind, taking the rustle of leaves along for the ride, just so she could hear it. Tranquil, in a word.
She wondered what it would sound like if she were yet one more voice within that crowd of kindness. Would it be loud like the larger cities? Would she struggle to maintain a thought with so many stray topics floating about? Would she once more yearn for the peace and quiet of solitude that she had grown used to, or would she immerse herself, free of judgment and laughing like the carefree young that scampered about? Did thinking about it even matter?
Her smile fell from its genuine intensity—still worn, but not as fully. She glanced downward as her stride lost its jubilant bounce, her tail losing its sway as her grey eyes examined the dry black scales that adorned her body against her wishes. It was the ugly hue of tarnished oil, unlike the skin of any other kobold she had met. Some had reds or greens, yellows or whites, while most were between a sandy tan or earthen brown. The rainbow of peculiarities was displayed by the lucky few, and she was one of them…
…Yet she was different in the worst of ways.
Even if she would rather any other colour, she supposed it was that way to make sure no one came near without accepting the unspoken risks. That was what her mother always said, anyway, though the woman hardly feared much of anything in her old age, and dedicated herself to giving her offspring all the love she had left to give—a perk of living a full life. She would always help her daughter bathe, complimenting the colour of what most were unnerved by. That was more than a decade ago now, however. Ceele’s parents had passed on while she was still young, and she took to travelling not long after, working at what she could to afford what little she needed. Never for long, though—just enough to get to the next town between where she was and where the urge to go lay. There were certainly moments she looked back on fondly, but the journey had taken its toll.
The crude material of her ‘dress’ was coarse, old, and heavy, but it helped ease the worst of spring's chill—even if it was more of a modified sack than proper attire. Still, it was all she had after the last of her clothing fell apart, and giving the repurposed material a name that reminded her of something else made it less uncomfortable to wear, somehow. It would have to do until she could afford a pitying seamstress or the like. Until then, she would pretend she didn’t look so desperate, even if it only highlighted her status and made finding work difficult.
But it did. The dishevelled garment was a far cry from the wonderful silks or breathtaking designs she had seen some women wear, harshly marking the distinction between herself and those of affluence. The clothing of commoners was also a leap in style and quality, so she couldn't say her attire was up to even modest standards. No matter how hard she squinted, and no matter how much she fantasized otherwise, she seemed every bit like the vagrant she was, down to the soil embedded in the curvature of her claws and the stains throughout her fabrics. She looked like a serf from the more oppressed lands, yet they too wore crude cottons, which said a lot about how she appeared to those who had never lived a life of servitude. It was obvious that she was an outsider. That she didn't belong amongst the rest. It made changing something as simple as her appearance all the more difficult; prospective employment always saw a young woman who seemed more likely to steal or swindle than make an honest day’s living.
There was one good twist of fate in recent memory, however, and she came upon the result of it after leaving the slowing bustle of the village behind. Her steps carried her through a small copse of trees on the outskirts of town, the small shaded path leading to the back of a large, carefully pruned clearing, a scattering of fruit-bearing trees providing even darker shadow than the already dim moonlight. She skirted along the aging fence on the border that kept predatory animals away, carefully hoisting herself over the barrier where a large vegetable garden she was responsible for tending resided. If one were to tell her she would be living in such an area several months ago, she would have smiled politely and walked away, yet here she was.
A modest, warmly lit home occupied the middle of the clearing, sitting front and centre when one approached from the village path. It looked quite cozy, surrounded by berry bushes that were just beginning to bloom as the last dregs of winter slipped away. A front patio displayed a nice table and well-loved chairs, the rustic appearance only adding to its charm as a place where friends and family spent the warm summer afternoons. A smithy to the left of the house functioned as an additional heated building during the colder months, but usually served as a storefront and to muffle the sounds of hammered iron, though that had become less common. An old stable was nearby, close enough to be accessible, but not so close as to disturb the once occupying animals with sounds of iron craft. It hadn't seen a horse in quite some time, apparently, so it was mostly a workshop for whatever tasks didn’t require fire or metal.
There was a long history attached to each little detail—from the scuffs along the wooden siding to the depressions in the ground where daily routine wore into the earth. Every fault suffered throughout the years was matched by a thousand quirks that made it feel welcoming, like the house itself was merely waiting for the next friendly face with one of its own. She knew that the inside of each building would look just as cared for.
Her concern lay outside, however. It was a comparatively miniscule space just barely visible through the sheltering trees, true, yet it was where her efforts turned into tangible results, and where a stranger’s trust was painstakingly repaid. Once overgrown grass had been laboriously trimmed, the weeds plucked and disposed of, and now nothing distracted from what she could claim she had done.
The small plots of rock-bordered soil had little buds of growing vegetables, a sense of pride never failing to bloom in her breast with the knowledge that it would be barren without her touch. When her troubles and concerns grew heavy, and fears of the future or spectres of the past loomed over her head, she could look at where she had brought life where it wouldn't otherwise be. Some days, that was enough. She smiled in appreciation at what was admittedly amateur work, the night’s sky helping to hide any inevitably made mistakes.
She enjoyed the sight for a moment longer, then turned to walk towards a neglected old tool shed that was well out of sight within the trees, far away from whatever warmth and comfort the larger house offered to everyone and anyone. She put a hand on the degrading wood of the entryway, giving one last sad smile at the garden as she dismissed selfish thoughts of taking the eventual harvest for herself. A breath cleared the uncertainty from her voice, and she pushed open the door.
“I'm home!”
= = = = =
It took a while for Altier to adjust to his situation, and even once he accepted that his mana wasn't being siphoned, he was still reeling from confusion. He had spent centuries with every year passing by without his notice, yet now he was painfully aware of each creeping second languidly dragging on with the expediency of growing grass. It was as disorienting as it was painfully nostalgic.
Time was something he was never good with, and it only got worse as a dungeon. He'd get lost in creating rooms, corridors, creatures, and whatever else needed doing, only pausing to watch or listen to the few adventurers he became interested in. There was a stint where he spent what felt like hours agonizing over new abilities or options while he let the system manage things in the background, though he supposed it might have been much longer. So many wasted days, yet he still hadn't managed to try everything he had gained access to. Some abilities were simply too niche, came with concerning titles, or held descriptions that made him wary. Anything with ‘Decay’ in the name was instantly ignored—he didn't need more reasons to fear his affinity, and from the few he took the effort to read through, they were always vile.
But his existence for the moment was no longer like those endless stretches spent pondering the minutiae of what would help his adventurers grow stronger. Now, he could follow the rhythmic sounds of footsteps and steady breathing that set a calming pace. They were someone else's, yes, but they contextualized how easy it was to slip away without the subtle noises of life that he had long since surrendered to help his family. Of course, there were more differences that he noticed since being removed from his crumbling cavern, and his sight was the newest change.
He never gave much thought to how far he could see before. Why would he? As a man, his world extended as far as he could fathom, yet was also confined to the room where he spent his days, and as a dungeon… Well, who was he to consider distance when an event happening miles away could be seen with a flicker of thought? Nothing was too far when it was within his creation. Or his ‘body,’ he supposed. Sadly, his entire perception currently consisted of the small sphere of his obsidian core, and maybe a finger's length beyond it—which is to say, not much. He could make out the fine details in the dirty burlap he was held against, and how pale moonlight slowly took over the blurred reds of sunset, but hardly anything more. It was all just frosted colours after a certain point, and he found it infinitely frustrating. He just wanted to peer beyond the haze and scaly hand holding him to confirm that the sky he remembered was still there. Alas, the sunlight faded at too quick a pace, yet one oh so agonizingly slow.
The ensuing darkness gave him nothing to do but think about where he was, not that he had any ideas. He was too curious about why he wasn't dead to bother much with his blurry surroundings after the soft-spoken kobold abducted him, thus why he only belatedly noticed how limited his worldview had become. There might have been a forest beyond his cave, but the greens and browns were gone, and the sounds of steps through brush was replaced by the distant din of a village. An idle curiosity pondered if he would recognize any descents of his ‘family tradition’ adventurers there, but he was being carried by what most considered a monster, so likely not.
That short musing was short-lived, however, and he brought his focus back to the matter at hand. He supposed he was being taken somewhere specific, but that was an obvious deduction, considering he was taken at all. The why of the matter was less so; for what purpose would someone want a Decay-aligned core? He hadn’t heard of them before…well, before he was made into one, but he couldn’t imagine many uses. Maybe he was being sold? His…kidnapper? His sudden companion seemed rather pleased by their discovery of him, so that might be the case, and it was morbidly amusing to think that a frail, sickly young man might one day become a coveted, highly valuable item. His abduction could also be a part of some cult’s nefarious activities, but he didn't want to think about that too hard. He experienced enough odd ceremonies from the adventurers who took the time to tell him their tales.
Either way, he wasn't in the dungeon anymore, and he couldn’t see where he was going. He tried to query his menu to glean an answer, but was met with a scrambled mess he suspected read ‘Synchronizing…’ and little else. It gave him a headache trying to make sense of it—which he didn't know was possible anymore—so he dismissed the text and distracted himself with blurs from whatever diluted senses he still had. There wasn’t much to observe other than the constant footfalls and the flicker of shadows on his companion’s burlap garment. They might have travelled through brush again, but it was too dark to really say for certain.
Eventually, there was something new. He heard an old latch rattle and rusted door hinges groan, then a shuddered clack that confirmed he was now in a building. His kobold acquaintance gently cooed at something before moving about the nearly pitch-black space, finally setting him down on a… He wasn’t sure what it was, besides old and wooden.
[D$#@m$n E@$*ded]
The headache from before became a blinding migraine that suffocated him under a flash-flood of suffering. Seconds passed in abject torture until it blissfully abated, the mental blinks clearing his mind enough to notice a change in his existence. Specifically, he could actually see something besides the rotting wood grain he was placed on top of.
And it wasn’t anything promising…
He was more or less in the centre of a room no bigger than twelve paces by maybe ten. Not a terrible size for a space, but it was clearly never meant to house someone. His resting place looked about as neglected as he surmised; it was an upturned feeding trough, he supposed, since calling it a table seemed too generous. The surface was rife with holes and degraded iron, so it was something that once saw regular use before being replaced and tossed into storage, never to see the light of day again.
Actually, most things in the room seemed to fit that description. The window shutters were installed with metal hinges that had since rusted them closed, the misalignment letting in a draft—and whatever weather was outside as well, most likely. A poorly carved bowl sat on the floor, the stain beneath it hinting that it collected any rainwater that slowly dripped from the leaky roof. The wooden floorboards looked old, splintered, and in need of maintenance or replacement, though an effort had been put into abrading it somewhat smooth lately.
A tiny and decrepit fireplace was to the left of the door upon entry, its brickwork slowly crumbling due to weathering and age. It was sized more for keeping the room warm during mild days than to keep away the frigid chill of night. Its base only held cold ashes, but there was a collection of deadwood and scraps nearby, so that would probably be rectified soon. A small wheel-less cart had been turned into storage against the opposite wall, some herbs and other foraged items stowed away in it for future use. Various things he remembered seeing his father and brothers use in the fields were scattered about, too. It was nostalgic to see, honestly, even if his recollections had blurred over time.
Bundles of tattered blankets formed a pair of nests in the far corner, the smaller of the two had a pile of rough plants nearby. That answered his silent pondering of the room's purpose somewhat, though he was pretty sure the bedding material was salvaged, and there didn’t seem to be any hay or padding underneath whoever was sleeping on it. He didn’t know what to think about the weeds; they were purposefully placed there, and whoever did so had taken the time to wash them, but it was still strange.
He couldn’t see a doorway besides the entrance, yet most of the hallmarks of residency were put where space could be afforded, however crude. All in all, he surmised that it was a gardening shed of sorts, and his new acquaintance apparently lived here. He wasn't sure what he was expecting when a creature he had only read about came into his dungeon, but it wasn't being brought to a rundown and decrepit shack for unknown purposes.
Even if he had been raised by parents who made a humble living at the best of times, and they had emptied their coffers for unsuccessful attempts to ease his ailments, his acquaintance's living space made him uncomfortable. His family's house was never anything fancy, true—it shared some of the worn qualities that inevitably gathered over the years—but it was never this bad. His home benefited from a father's touch keeping it robust and a mother’s love keeping it warm, whereas this place had seen neither in quite some time. Oh, there was evidence that such was once the case; a wall was adorned with carefully made and well-spaced hangers for the various gardening tools, though the implements themselves had become a victim of neglect. That being said, he could make out the fresh soil and recent scratches exposing furrows of silver, so they were seeing use again.
A scrape and clack of flint drew his attention to his kobold companion. They were kneeling in front of the fireplace, methodically sparking life back into a dead flame with twigs and dried leaves. A slow, steady breath into the reddened base illuminated its face with a dull orange glow, revealing its weary visage and the permanently etched smile that rested beneath its cold grey eyes. The black-scaled kobold looked tired, if he were to guess—much the same as Altier did when he spent countless days watching everyone living a life he could never have through the mossy window of his bedroom. He was probably humanizing it too much. Still, he was surprised by the muted pang of sympathy, and how he would feel much more than blithe curiosity after spending so much time alone in the crumbling crypt of his own making.
A mental breath cycled through him as he looked at the odds and ends yet to be observed. Hardly anything else was of note—everything else was degraded and neglected, too. He did notice a nest of blankets move though, which was as good a distraction as any. The answer to his previous ‘pile of weeds’ inquiry poked a tiny nose from a crease in the fabric, then rapidly pawed at the blankets to dig itself out. Altier stared at the creature in both recognition and confusion.
It was a rabbit…or at least it looked like one, assuming you were to also describe a porcupine and a sea urchin as well. He was pretty sure he didn’t remember any hare that had jagged metal-tipped fur, nor that had said fur arranged into a row of spiked horns that flowed down its spine, terminating at a large fluffy tail, which was equally bizarre to see. The whole of its coat could double as a weapon, with semi-sharp barbs sticking off seemingly at random, yet he remembered an adventurer saying most animals used that sort of thing defensively. He increased his focus as he tried to make sense of the odd creature. Surely he would have heard about—
[Hoppittttttt#%%÷ — Ferro-o-orabbit-it (Ma%$le)
Abil—]
[Null]
[Er0Rrrrrrrr—]
[Und#$f—]
He bit back the pain caused by the sudden intrusion of his menu, blanking out the text and mentally retreating to hide from the source. Did he just inspect something? How? Shouldn’t his entire…‘framework,’ was it…? Yes, that was it. Shouldn’t that have been corrupted? Why could he see the creature’s information when his entire framework was damaged? That was the first ability he lost, so why is it the first to be functional? How was it functional? Was it? It did just spit garbled text at him, but it was something, and that was more than he had gotten from it in a very long time. If it was somehow working—no matter how poorly—then that left the question of why he hadn't heard of anything called a ‘ferrorabbit’ before, assuming he read that correctly.
A soft thud vibrated the tro— table, startling him out of thought. He turned his attention to the button nose wiggling erratically at him, the short, stubby muzzle leading to surprisingly expressive and curious red eyes. Dull brown fur jutted off in random tufts and patches, changing to a darker tint on its paws and the upper half of its ears, while the tips of its spikes were a muted hue of iron. It still seemed just as soft as the less pointed variety he remembered, if a touch dirty. Upright ears twitched this way and that way as its head vigorously shook, eventually settling on pointing in his direction when it calmed down enough.
It was apparent that he had its undivided attention…for all of a few seconds. His scaly companion called something out in their foreign tongue, and whatever conclusion the pointy-furred animal came to, it seemed more interested in the kobold, parting from him after nudging his core with its nose.
[Cre-e-e—]
[Errrrrrr0r: Undefiiiiiiii—]
[Acceeeeep-t-t-t??]
[Yeeee— s s / Nnnnnnn—]
He winced at the intrusion, but the contents detracted from the pain. He couldn’t remember the system ever asking him a question without his explicit intent being involved. It wanted him to…accept something? Was it the system prompting him, or the animal? What was he to accept?
[Creatuuuuu—]
[Acce-e-e-%#@ed!]
…What?
= = = = =
“Hoppit, that's not food!” Ceele admonished half-heartedly, placing a larger branch on the burgeoning flame before she got to her feet. She wasn’t actually that worried; the stone was as big as his head, and she was pretty sure he couldn't bite into it. Hopefully. “Come here, momma has a treat for you!”
The ferrorabbit playfully bumped the gemstone and jumped off the low table, landing with a soft thud that belied how heavy he was for his tiny size. He wiggled in excitement, his ears flailing and releasing a slight clack whenever the two connected. It got even louder when she grabbed her basket and put away the useful herbs, taking out a specific item that she had gathered just for him. The little bun wasted no time in scurrying over and standing tall on his hind legs to judge if the offered plant was to his liking—and it was, based on how he dug in with enthusiasm. She stifled a laugh as she contentedly watched him nibble away on the treat, ignoring the guilt that came with knowing she couldn't afford proper vegetables for him. He had a hard life too, and it tore at her to have so little to give.
She came across Hoppit a year ago, during a storm that worsened while she was travelling between towns. The day had darkened to night in spite of it still being about noon, but the weather didn't care for how bright it was supposed to be. Wind and rain became a typhoon, forcing her to seek shelter in a thankfully abandoned den of what was probably a larger animal. She was fine with waiting out the squall, since the stone roof over her head was more than she usually had back then, but the sounds of dull bangs and thuds near her hideaway was followed by cries of animals yelping in pain. Curiosity won over reason, and she left the safety of her shelter to see what was causing the disturbance. Truthfully, she was hopeful that she'd come across scraps or the like, her hunger driving her forward, and she could always turn back if it seemed dangerous. Yet when she arrived at the source of the commotion, she found herself thinking of anything but food.
Two predators had fought over a small burrow, both trying to dig out a meal and taking offence to the other doing the same. What they didn’t know was that they were assaulting the home of ferrorabbits. Specifically, the home of an angry, protective, and well-fed mother that was keeping her newborns safe from the storm when predators decided to try their luck. From the scene Ceele came across, it was certainly obvious why most people dislike trying to hunt the creatures.
Sadly, the rabbit didn't survive an attack from two predators, but she did make their victory pyrrhic; neither could do much about their hunger with their bodies full of cuts and holes, and it was only a matter of time before they succumbed to blood loss or infection. The mother's sacrifice meant that the babies had avoided the imminent threat, but they were left unattended as a consequence, and it took an opportunistic bird swooping down to shake Ceele out of her shock. Despite her subsequent hurry, she only acted in time to save one of the orphaned young. The warren was new and barely dug out, which meant that it didn’t take much effort for the kits to be found—by both her and hungry maws. All she could do was scoop the ball of fluff into her arms and run back to the cave before anything else tried to eat it.
In retrospect, it was a stupid decision for a number of factors. She barely had the resources to supply herself, and an attempt to raise offspring of any type would only make the inevitable heartbreak worse. But when she saw how quiet and scared he was… How his tiny, shaking body calmed in her arms, those terrified red eyes seeking comfort… She should have just walked away when she knew there wasn’t going to be anything to fill her stomach. She should have put the baby animal down and let nature take its course…yet the preciously furry face stole her heart far too quickly for it to grow so cold. The next day was spent backtracking to the nearest town to get him something suitable to eat, which used most of her meagre savings. Still, it was worth every coin.
Hoppit had been accompanying her ever since. He grew quickly, transitioning from something she saved that stormy night into a presence she had grown to love like a child. The little lagomorph would bounce along beside her during her travels, then ride in her arms as he rested—though the latter happened with worrying frequency as of late. She hadn’t learned much about the springy herbivores, but she knew enough to say that he wasn't as big as he should be, nor was his fur as sharp. No matter how startled he was, his spiky coat never managed to do more than stiffen slightly, which was apparently a side effect of poor diet, according to snippets of conversation she had overheard on the topic. She wanted him to be healthy, but she didn't know what he needed. Not many farmers raised ferrorabbits, and those that did were far away, so she didn’t have anyone to ask what she should be doing. Her best course of action was to give him what little she had.
Ceele was well aware of how he would be better off on his own, but he followed her whenever she tried to set him free. Hoppit just kept launching into her arms and wiggling his ears, ecstatic that he was with her again, uncaring that food was scarce and that they spent most of their days travelling. No amount of cold nights spent bundling up under the tattered blankets she managed to find ever dampened his spirits, and he was content to eat the grass or flowers whenever he felt like it, oblivious to the fact that he wasn’t getting enough nutrition. He would dig and excitedly drag back oddities that he found, and the one time he found a plant that looked particularly good for him, he insisted that it be shared with her.
A black pit still lingered in her chest when she recalled how pleased he was while he munched on the rare vegetable he discovered, then how distressed he became when she wouldn’t have any as well. He bumped and nipped at her, all but begging her to eat. His ears pinned back against his head, his fur bristled in a way she hadn’t seen since. It was only when she took a small bite and let him inspect the new teeth marks that he seemed to calm down, but perhaps she had been looking too deep into the actions of her tiny friend. All she could say for certain was that he was scared she was going hungry.
A morbid thought wondered if his first mother had refused food shortly before being attacked, and he—as small and simple as he was—had connected the two events in his mind, making him absolutely terrified that something would happen if Ceele didn’t have something too. All of that fear, and desperation overwhelmed him, just because she was happier watching him eat. She was determined to erase that issue. She would find something that needed a worker and earn enough to feed them both. One day, she would be able to smile at how big and healthy her little fluffy boy had become, but until then, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to think about how she was spending so much time growing vegetables and fruit that he couldn’t have…
Every morning was an exercise in tending to the gardens while actively shoving down images of a pleased ferrorabbit happily eating the results. That never went well; no matter how determined she was to complete her duties without a single selfish thought, most tasks were done while picturing his full belly and delighted bounces. There were a few weeks until the fastest of the crops would be ready for harvest, and Ceele would have to collect them while fighting the urge to bring back just a few for him.
She couldn’t, because she knew exactly how quickly that could escalate. It would start small—A vegetable here, a fruit there—but seeing Hoppit happy was one of the precious few good things she had in her life. Crossing the line would only become easier each time. They couldn’t risk losing their new home over greed, and she was already betraying the trust given to her by housing a wild animal, especially one known to be a pest for crops. She didn't want to know how angry it would make her benefactors if she was caught taking their vegetables for one.
No matter how tame and precious Hoppit was, and no matter how well he listened, they would only see him as the same creature that ruined harvests in droves. Thus was why she had to tell him to stay cooped up by himself while she was working or scavenging. And to her surprise, he did.
Honestly, she had made the initial request with the expectation of needing to carry him back into their home until he understood that she wasn’t leaving him forever. There wasn’t much she could do to stop the ferrorabbit from digging through the old wooden building if he wanted to get out. He wouldn’t need to damage anything either—a rotting board on the door only needed a little push to nudge it out of the way, and his natural curiosity made sure he was aware of it. But no, Hoppit was well-behaved as always, keeping hidden until she walked through the door, where he would leap from the shadows to personally show her how good he was and how he stayed put like she asked him to. It never stopped amazing her that he had such a surprising level of understanding despite being an animal, and that was to say nothing of how young he was.
All that intelligence, joy, and companionship he offered her…and yet the best she could give back to him was the weeds from the garden and the odd plant she found while scavenging…
Soft clacks of flicking ears dragged her from her pondering, her mind returning to the present. Hoppit finished his treat of the small plant, then bounced in place and scurried over to his bowl of water, perfectly happy to have eaten only that. He was so joyful with how little she provided, approaching every day of scarcity with the same enthusiasm she could never muster, as if certain that everything would be alright.
“It’s bedtime, Hoppit,” Ceele announced through a soft sigh, stoking the fire with enough branches to hopefully last the night. The ferrorabbit perked an ear in her direction, then sat on his haunches to extend the rest of himself up, his two little forepaws adorably held to his chest as he inspected the room like he always did. She smiled and made sure everything was stored away, then laid down on her bundle of blankets, covering herself with the warmest one. Hoppit bolted over to snuggle once he decided everything in the shed was up to his standards, throwing himself to the floor in a dramatic flop of comfort. Her quiet laughter subsided as they both settled in for the night, her tail completing the rabbit’s encompassing cuddle, but her eyes fell towards the obsidian orb on the table, her thoughts following suit.
It sat there, just as she left it, as benign as anything else ever placed atop the improvised furnishing. Yet there was a sense of ease and purpose as well. The old wooden trough seemed…important with its adornment firmly laid upon its surface, and she couldn’t puzzle out why. She was starting to doubt her earlier excitement.
Should she sell it? Would anyone know where it came from? Would anyone know what it was, or if it was worth anything? If she could get even a modest sum for it, she would be able to buy clothing, food, and new bedding. It would be easier to convince someone to give her work if she was dressed better and wasn’t so thin, and then she would have the income to slowly improve both of their lives. She could pay for a wandering merchant to ask a ferrorabbit rancher about the animal, even if it would take time to get back to her, or maybe she could hire a local if they needed to go near one for some reason. The cost didn’t matter to her as long as it happened.
But there was something else bothering her about the idea of selling the stone. She had travelled so far with a tug in her chest, only for the feeling of wanderlust to dissipate as soon as she held it. Was that a sign? She was never one for things like ‘fate,’ but a niggling doubt in her mind discouraged the idea of making a profit off her discovery. Even if what she could gain was so very tempting, and even if Hoppit would be happier if she did…
She tore her dampened eyes away and closed them, ignoring the burning trails running across her face. It would be another early morning, and she needed to sleep so she could take care of the garden. Decisions like this could wait. Once she had nothing else distracting her, and she had time to properly think about it, she would see how she felt about the stone.
Eventually, she dozed off with Hoppit pressed against her chest, and a longing in her heart.
Next
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A/N: Patreon and Ko-fi will be 1 chap ahead this time around, and I've set it so everything from the lowest tier up can read the newest trashfire! Anything above that is sheer show of love. Hope you enjoyed!

Hi I just came across a novel, chosen by the moon novel by izabella W. Its on pay by chapter websites, I've opened and read a few chapters but I can't seem to find any free version or chapter version anywhere. Please help. If anyone has read it I'm willing to take spoilers. Here's the advert I found below of it on Facebook.
Lycanthrope species is a disgusting race. And I, Delan Riley, am nothing more than a human scum in their eyes never expected those species would turn my world upside down. Since when the lycans managed to penetrate our town, like in the early 1900's we have a hierarchy, upper class = the lycans, middle class = mated humans, and lower class = the normal humans, who were basically considered scum. I endured their torment day after day, vowing to run away from them one day, until that day came and everything changed.
Dylan POV "Humans," I scowled at the principal's words from tannoy. "The Alpha twins will be celebrating their birthday tomorrow, as such, festivities are in order." Oh great, the Alphas twin children. Adrian and Arya are the worst lycans alive. I swear just because they are the alphas kids they literally get away with everything. If their birthday is tomorrow, then the wolves are going to be worse than ever. "All students will be present to greet them, two lines will be made, with humans on the left and the lycanthrope on the right. Any mated human will be at the front of the line for their year, you will all also be in order of your school year. That is all." Chat broke out the minute the tannoy was finished. "We haven't had a school gathering since the alpha king visited three years ago, before his sons coronation." Nick was right, the last time we all gathered like that was for the king and queens visit, when he decided to let the world know that he was to renounce his title to his only child, son Josh. "That sick bestard, he wants to make sure everyone is there so those idiot twins can find their mates." Yes I was mad, my fists connected with the table in front of me once more as I thought about how disgusting the situation was. You see the twins will be turning 17, so it's very possible someone in our school could be their mate, finding a mate is sacred to a wolf, the minute they say that one word your fate is sealed. They will turn your mind, morph you into being a lover of their kind, and then you'll give in.

That won't happen to me, I'm growing old to see the world as it once was, and I'm going to choose who I'll be with. No one will take that dream away from me.

Once dinner was finished, I just wanted to sleep. I'd had a very long tiring day, I quickly sat down on a small stool my mother kept in the storage closet and removed my shirt while my brother Freddy sat at the table to do his simple homework. It wasn't long before my mother came in with a large bowl of warm salt water and some cotton, this was going to sting I just knew it. She was here to help me with the wounds caused by wolves yesterday. She slowly began to unwrap the bandage from around my torso and slowed down drastically when it came to the final layer, I felt it peel off every wound and my fists clenched in pain. "Jesus!" I heard my mom exclaim once the dressing was completely removed. The air on my back was nice though and I sighed as my arm covered my once again exposed brests. "This is more than 15!" I began to hear sniffles coming from her and sighed turning round to look at her face, only to notice tears streaming down it. "Mom I'm fine, it's alright." She shook her head. "It's not alright, I'm your mother I shouldn't let these things happen. I'm so sorry. Your father would have..." here she goes again. Every single time something happened she'd always bring up dad, it really annoyed me because no matter how much we all wish he was here, he just isn't. My father was kiled by THEIR kind, almost 5 years ago when they actually managed to take over. When the lycans managed to penetrate our town my father rose up with some people from the neighborhood, to defend our livelihood, it was futile to say the least. We lost many people and I watched as my dad was ripped apart by two fully shifted wolves, I ended up shoting him to stop his suffering before they dragged me to the courtyard, i was the person to receive the first lashing of the town when I was 12! The wolves have been pretty strict with me since that day. "Stop being stvpid!" Was I harsh? Definitely! Did she need to hear it again, absolutely. "Dad is dead, we don't know what he'd do because he never knew this life. He never knew this world." I know what he'd have done, most likely attacked the guy who held the whip and got himself kiled in the process. "The best thing you can do for me, is stop crying and help me, next time don't insist on helping if you can't handle it." She began to wash my open wounds with the warm salt water causing loud winces to leave me, I knew it was necessary to prevent infection, but my god it hurt like a betch. "Some of these are really deep Dylan!" She sniffed again and my eyes rolled in my head. "I told you, I'm fine, just wrap me back up so I can get to bed." My mom was obviously more impacted by my injuries than I was, I suppose that always the case though. When it's happening to you, you've just got to get through it but when it's happening to someone you love, you just want to take their pain away. She quickly placed a fresh bandage around my waist and chest and wrapped it tightly for compression. The bowl of water that was used was now red in color, I guess from the blood my back was dripping with. "Can you keep your head down please? At least just this week. You can't take any more lashings." I simply nodded before standing up away from the stool, I walked over to Freddie and ruffled his hair in affection. "Good night squirt." He giggled and fixed his hair slightly. "Night Dilly." I smiled walking upstairs to my little bedroom, as soon as I was inside i shut the door and flopped down on to my bed on my stomach and I took a minute to cry to myself at the pain in my back, what my mom did was important but it hurt, not that I'd ever tell her. My hand covered my mouth quickly to muffle any noise I might be making. I couldn't tell anyone, I had to be strong because more and more people were crumpling these days, and my mom would break if she knew how much I was suffering. Sleep followed me shortly after, she was right though about me needing to keep my head down for the time being, I could not take another lashing! After a long night and an even longer morning, we were all finally stood in the hallway at school waiting for the twins to arrive. "Mine!" Everyone that was stood in the hallway tensed up, as we were seniors, me and Nick were stood towards the very back of the human line. All the mated people were situated directly opposite their wolf mates in their years. We stayed silent and still as Arya walked down the hall and stopped directly in front of Nick. His eyes widened in fear, unsure of wether to look up or keep his head lowered. "Look me in the eye, mate." He glanced at me slightly as if asking what he should do. "I said, look me in the eye." He slowly moved his eye line up to look at her face. I took a glance myself to see her eyes pitch black with lust. "I... can't... I mean... erm." Before he was able to mutter anything else, two wolves from opposite, grabbed him out of the line and dragged him behind Arya. "Hey!" My head shot up before I could stop myself. My mouth also forgot its place as I jumped out of line. Everyone's head shot to me as my eyes widened in realization at what I'd done. Adrian, the other twin, walked up to me before punching me right in the stomach, I doubled over instantly. Feeling the sting in my slightly healed back. "I know you... You were publicly flogged only two days ago." God I hate this guy. "I also have it on good authority, that you openly spoke out against our rules and regulations in yesterday's class." My head shot down the line slightly to see Erin, looking a little frightened, her mate, the beta to be was looking at her, nodding his head in reassurance. "You traitor, you grassed on your own kind?" I yelled at her before feeling a fist connect with my cheek. My head whipped to the side from the force, while my class members gasped. I'm so done with this treatment, right then, I wasn't in charge of my actions. My fists curled up and my stance became a lot more defensive. My head snapped up to the alpha to be, and I looked him in the eye. "You don't know the meaning of the word disrespect." I suddenly hurled my fist towards his head, which he easily dodged, but my foot came up and kicked him instead. He stumbled backwards from the force with wide eyes. "You... you Actually hit me!" He didn't even sound annoyed, more shocked. Everyone in the hallway was watching, waiting for the alpha to do something but instead he simply stood up straight, regaining his composure. "I think everyone should get back to class." He began to walk away, following his sister when I called him back. "What about Nick?!" "Simple, He's my sisters mate. He now belongs to her." Argh, he's not an object. "He's not her property." A chuckle left his mouth, before turning his back to me again. "All humans are property." A short while later everyone made it to science class, our teacher Mrs Mathews is mated to the lycans pack doctor, she also now has a four and two year old with him. She was one of the first humans to be cohered into a false relationship. "What were you thinking young lady?" I rolled my head at her before looking at the empty seat next to mine. Nick was with that stvpid wolf girl right now. Being changed, I'm so angry it's ridiculous. "I was thinking, this guy is being a prick. Did you hear him? 'All humans are property.' It's bull shet." I looked up and the whole class looked at me like I had three heads. Talking shet about wolves is one thing, but talking about an alpha is punishable by death, attacking an alpha is an even worse offense. There was then a knock at the door and in walked Erin and her band of mated bestards. "Sorry we're late Mrs." "Erin, how are things between you and bata Monroe?" She blushed, the traitor actually blushed at the mention of his name. "He spoke to me last night about trying for a baby. We need a good strong boy to take over as beta." I scoffed looking at her as she took her seat. "You guys are actually pathetic, why can't it be a girl? Those mutts are basically Neanderthals" I voiced my opinion and saw all the shocked faces around me. Calling the lycans mutts, is the same as them calling us scum. After lesson had ended the entire school was called into the hall for assembly. This is where any human who has been found to have broken the rules were punished, usually 10 lashings were goven out or something similar. "Welcome to the school assembly, congratulations to the alpha twins for finding both your mates. Now on to the business at hand, as the 5 year anniversary of the new world is coming up, we have been informed that the alpha king will be visiting our district next week, this is very exciting news. We want you all to look your absolute best, she wolves and mated females will wear exemplary dresses made by seamstress. Male wolves and mated men will wear tailored suits. Anyone who doesn't comply will be reprimanded." The Alpha King?! No one has met him yet, he took over the throne three years ago when he turned 18. He really didn't make any appearances though, great, this month is going to be a nightmare. "As for the humans, you will be given a new uniform to wear for the visit, these are to be neatly ironed and worn to the highest standard. As for the following humans, based on your attitude this past week, you will be coming to the front and facing punishment. Tony summerset?!" Tony's head shot up as he looked around, he was in the year below but he shared my views when it came to the lycans. He slowly walked up to the front of assembly, almost instantly his top was t0rn in two and he received 10 lashings. A girl named Kara was next and she too received 10 lashings. A few more people went up slowly accepting their fate then suddenly my name was called. "Dylan Riley." Inside I was terrified but I simply shrugged my shoulders, I guess I did kind of expect this. Although I'm not sure if my back can take any more damage. "You attacked an alpha, correct!" His eyes bored into mine as I bowed my head submitting to his authority. "Technically, no." Everyone in the school gym looked on in fear, as my head moved to the front row of the wolf side. Adrian sat, with a werewolf girl in the year below, her name was Jana, I guess he found his mate. Nick and Arya were no where to be seen though. Adrian gave me a shrug as if to say he didn't tell, before smirking at my comment. "He hasn't officially taken the alpha title yet, so he's just..." i looked at the principle and noticed his eyes black and his claws out, he was in what lycans call a half shift, triggered when the subject has become angered. He turned to two security wolves and gave them a nod, Almost immediately i was forced onto my knees, my arm was slammed on a table and held in place by one wolf, while my body was held in place by the other. "Ok, I don't think this is needed, I have alpha blood, a stvpid human girl can't hurt me." My head snapped to Adrian who had stood up in front of the school to stop what was happening. "Nevertheless, humans need to know their place." With that the pressure on my arm increased as our principals hand pulled my sleeve up before a long claw punctured my skin. The searing pain shoting from the fresh wound had my eyes scrunched and my fist clenched, I bit the inside of my cheek hard instantly tasting blood, however no sound left my mouth. He continued to write, using my skin as a canvas and his claws as a marker, it went on forever, my vision blurred slightly at one point as I turned my head away. After minutes of torture, he was done and the pressure on my arm eased, instantly I snatched my arm away, hissing through my teeth at the pain. I was about to scurry off stage, when I was roughly grabbed yet again, my arm being held in the air by the principal while my feet were inches off the floor, blood dripped from the wound and the pattern he had made was on show for everyone to see. Loads of people gasped, even the wolves looked slightly horrified at what had happened. "This is what happens when a human decides to speak out. I can promise, anyone who so much as says one word about our way of life, will have the same punishment." My arm was starting to seriously ache from being held in the air for so long, and the lack of blood flow to my suspended arm was causing me pins and needles, still I refused to make a sound. I held the tears back and I bit my cheek harder causing more blood to fill my mouth. "That's enough Bradley!" Adrian growled, he was still stood up and looking at the scene in front of him. His eyes hard as he stared at the principal a low warning growl erupted from his chest which had the head teacher gulping, he quickly let go of my arm causing me to crash to the floor. A small cry left my mouth as I hit the hard floor. Immediately I scrambled away, my foot just missed the high step leading to the stage and I fell, waiting for the impact of the ground, but it never came. Two strong arms wrapped around me catching my weak body causing me to look up, my eyes widened as I noticed Adrian had caught my falling form. "This isn't part of the human punishment program!" Adrian growled causing me to tense in his grip, I pushed him away from me before fixing my uniform top. The room was deadly silent, taking in the scene in front of them, while I stole a glance at my forearm. Carved into my skin by his devastating claws were two words, words that would most definitely scar my body for life. 'Human scum' "Lessons must be learned, she received lashing merely two days ago, and clearly it had no effect on her." Another growl left Adrian's chest as he stepped on to the stage, I wasn't bothered though, you would think I'd be ashamed but I simply smiled slightly. I fixed my sleeve a little so it wouldn't rub on the fresh wound before speaking. "It doesn't matter," the whole room looked at me shocked by my attitude. "I would rather be labeled human scum, than have any resemblance to your kind. I'm proud of what I am, how many of you can say that?" After my amazing little speech, I walked right down the middle between the humans and lycans and out the door. No more compliance, I'm going to get away with as much as I can without getting into too much bother. There will come a day when the lycans power will fizzle out. When it does I'll be ready, I'll be waiting for the day we take our world back. As for the best part about my plan...

No one can stop me.

"Ouch, not so hard." I seethed as the school nurse cleaned my new wound with antiseptic. "If you had of just kept your mouth shut, this wouldn't have happened." I turned to my right looking out the window at the few clouds that were floating in the blue sky. "Like I said, I'm proud to be human, and now everyone knows what I am." I clenched my fist together as the nurse began wrapping a bandage around my forearm. It had been a good few hours since the incident in the hall, and I had been forced to come to the nurces office after I had tried to clean my wound by splashing it with water from the tap, it also refused to stop bleeding. "You are impossible. Can you please just try and stay out of trouble? For one day, that's all I ask." Our school nurse is a wolf, she's one of them. However she hates the way they treat us mere humans, she thinks we should all just live in peace with equal rights. Like that would ever happen. "All I've done is stay out of trouble, but you are just going to humiliate me anyway, so what's the actual point?" "The pack were discussing a public execution, Dylan. You need to walk on egg shells from now on, not just for you but for your family as well." No ones been publicly executed in over 4 months, I'm flattered they're considering it. They only execute people who they believe are the biggest problems to society. "Well then... I'm flattered." I chuckled, before looking at the patch job. 'Huh, not too shabby.' I quickly stood up from the human nursing station and pulled the sleeve of my shirt down covering the evidence of ever being hurt. "This is serious!" I just gave her a blank look before leaving the room. On the way out I heard her call back to me. "Please just think about it." I gave a clipped nod as I walked away wondering how I'm going to tell my mom about this. Later in the evening... "Dilly why you say that?" Freddie looked up at me with a mouth full of bread. "Don't speak with your mouthful!" My mom scolded him as a bashful blush made its way to his cheeks. "Sowwy mommy." His reply was muffled as he swallowed the last chunk of food. "I said it Freddie, because it's the truth. The wolf race are a pathetic excuse for..." my mom cut me off with an extremely stern look. "Dylan! They have ears everywhere, one more word out of you and it's your room." I scowled, my hatred for the Lycan kind growing stronger as each day passes. "What more can they do to me, lash me? Beat me? Brand me? They've ran out of options." I stated slamming my hands down, then severely regretting it as sharp pain shot though my wound. "What was that?" My head shot to regard my mothers worried expression. Her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were dull and judging as she looked at me. "Nothing, it was nothing." I quickly took my plate in my hand and began to walk to the kitchen. "I'm not really hungry, and I have homework to do!" My mom caught hold of my forearm causing me to drop my plate suddenly, I watched it slowly fall before shattering on the floor. I retracted my arm quickly and turned to Freddie. "Stay there and don't move until it's cleaned up ok sport?" He just nodded with wide eyes, I turned back to my mom and noticed her curious stare on my arm. Her grip shifted to the other side as she turned it around before pulling my sleeve up. The bandage was showing and a bit of blood was seeping though after the wound had been disturbed. "What the hel happened?" My moms eyes widened as she began to fumble with the bandage. Before she could unravel any of it I snatched my arm away. "I had an accident at school. No big." I began to gather the large pieces of the broken plate up ready to put them in the bin. "What did you do Dylan?" She looked at me with pure worry and only then did I realize what the wound must look like to someone who didn't know. "For gods sake! I didn't do it to myself! I got publicly punished at the assembly alright? It's no big deal." Her face dropped instantly and she stepped towards me, causing me to step backwards. "Mom, I'm ok. So back off will you." "What did you do? I've never known them to cut someone's arm as a punishment." Her shock and accusation was evident in her voice and I sighed heavily. "I spoke against the alphas son." I may have hit him too, but I wasn't going to divulge that part to her. "It's not one big cut, mom, it's a brand, 'human scum' carved onto my arm." "They've branded you now too?!" My eyes rolled at her hurt tone as I went to get the dustpan and brush. "You're so much like your father." A sigh left her mouth as she spoke, running a hand through her hair, while I quickly swept up the little pieces of the broken plate. "You've had a new uniform delivered. It's laid out on your bed. Dylan, Please just try and stay respectful in the future, I don't want my daughter to be completely mutilated. Although you're not far off." "Gee, Thanks." I then walked over to my little brother Freddy before blowing a kiss into his neck and hearing him giggle. "So sport, how's school going?" "It's ok." He shrugged before going back to coloring a dinosaur picture in. "Well that's good, stay out of trouble, ok little man?" Heading upstairs and into my room, my thoughts wandered to the permanent graffiti scar very slowly healing on my arm. Disgusting beasts. Think they own the world because they're faster, stronger and can shift. Pah. If you ask me they are not all that.

The second I walked into my room my mouth dropped open. On my bed was some grey pants laid out neatly, which wasn't the surprising part, no, what shocked me was the grey high neck no sleeved button down shirt, every single set of uniform had sleeves except this one. They've done this on purpose those, mutts. They want the world to see my arm and know what a disgusting creature I am. They want the world to know that I, Dylan Riley, am nothing more than 'human scum'.

During the last week, I've been horrible, in class I've been loud in voicing my views, I've insulted at least everyone to some degree, I didn't care about the consequences, and I certainly didn't think about them. I haven't seen Nick at all since he was claimed, and to make matters worse today was the royal visit. Oh yes, werewolves and mated humans alike were spending every waking minute preparing themselves to meet his royal majesty, king of the wolves. Unclaimed Humans however would rather stick pins in their eyes. "Dylan, get down now... you're going to be late." She was right, I was dawdling this morning, I really couldn't be bothered today, I gave myself one last look in the small mirror and sighed when my eyes met my newly uncovered brand. It had bad bruising around the letters, and was still extremely tender to touch, it was definitely healing now though. I made my way down the stairs and came face to face with my mother who was seeing to Freddie, she was helping my brother get his coat on when she turned to me. "You ready sport?" Freddie nodded his little head at me and smiled while I quickly slid my shoes on. "Just Remember, the alpha is bad enough, Dylan, please, please don't do anything to anger the king." My mother stopped us from walking out the door to tell me something she had been telling me continuously for the last couple of days, it was almost as if the entire human population of our district was expecting me to do something stvpid. "Try and have a good day." I rolled my eyes but nodded, even I know not to push the king, he could kil me in the hallway like it was nothing. In fact I plan on staying out of his way for the entirety of the day. "We will see you tonight mom." I stated before me and my brother began our walk to school, his little hand clutched my own tightly as we went. Usually Nick would be with us, as he lives next door, well he used to, now he's residing in the main pack house. I quickly dropped Freddie off at his school and watched him get the wolfsbane neutralizer before walking into him building giving me a small wave before he went in. With my new scar on complete show, and my figure being complimented by the skin tight shirt I was wearing, I sauntered down the street to school, I gave my name and year in and took the wolf's bane neutralizer injection with no problems at all. It was finally getting into school that the problem occurred. Walking through the halls I was met by many looks, some of pity some of disgust. You see every single non mated human in the school was wearing a long sleeved version of the uniform I was given. All the Wolves and mated couples were scattered around in fancy floor length dresses or tailored suits. As I turned the corner I noticed a couple, now this couple happened to catch my eye the most out of all of them because it consisted of Arya and Nick, eating each other's faces off. "What the hel!" Nicks head shot to me as his eyes widened. He too was dressed in a tailored suit, a navy blue tie hung on his neck to match Aryas dress. Why was this happening all the time? It's always my friends that get completely brain washed. I shook my head in disbelief before turning my back on him. I heard his fast footsteps behind me as I rounded the corner. "Dylan?!" He ran right in front of me, stopping me in my tracks, making me drop my bag off my shoulder and almost causing me to bump into him. "Let me just explain..." "Has she marked you?" I mean you could almost see it in his eyes, she had marked him, and knowing the way life goes he's probably even mated with her. "Actually... Don't even answer that." I aggressively picked my bag up off of the floor and stormed off down the hall. "Dylan, just listen to me, Erin was right, it's so hard to resist your soulmate, and Arya is actually ok once you get to know her." I just kept walking, he caught up to me walking beside me but it didn't matter, I completely ignored everything and everyone. 'I'm so not in the mood today' getting into class was good though, I said hello to Mr Foley and took my usual seat. Nick sighed then took his bag off ready to sit next to me, but I snapped before he had the chance. "Traitors and mated idiots sit on that side of the room." I didn't look him in the eye as I pointed to a seat right at the front of the classroom on the opposite side. His eyes widened as he turned his attention back to me. "You can't be serious Dylan." I gave him a blank look before grabbing my book out of my backpack, I placed it on the desk then began to write the date on the top line. "I've sat in this seat for as long as I can remember." I ignored him, his voice sounded sad and shocked. "Dylan? Wait! What is that?!" Before I could react Nick had grabbed hold of my branded arm and turned it to see the letters. "Oh my God! What happened?" I snatched my arm away from him and shrugged as I continued to write in my book before grabbing my water bottle out of my bag. "The principal happened, it was my punishment for speaking out against Adrian and Arya. I wear it with pride." He just held a complete look of disbelief. "You spoke out against them?" I shrugged, what did he think I'd do. "It's no secret that I despise this stvpid new world and the mutts that control it. You were my friend, I wasn't going to let them just take you without saying something, although that is exactly what you seem to have done. Enjoy the view from your new seat!" "Don't be like that, Dylan, I'm your best friend, I'm sorry about your arm, but..." my eyes rolled inside my head at my friends words. "Anything with the word 'but' in, isn't an apology, it's a rationalization." I took a drink of water from my bottle and kept my eyes facing forward, ignoring his every attempt to try and talk to me. "Dylan?.. Dylan?... Do you know what? Erin is right, if you push us all away you won't have any friends left." He huffed before walking over to the empty seat and sitting down, I could feel him glancing up at me every now and again but I didn't respond. "Good morning class, please settle down." He looked at me then at Nick and frowned, we've never sat apart, we were friends before the new world even began. I just shook my head telling him to forget it. "So... as you know the king will be arriving in a short while, but until then lessons will go on as normal." Its funny seeing teachers in the same uniform your wearing, mr Foley and his wife are the coolest. Human teachers and doctors only have slightly more respect than we do. Because of Mr Foley's status him and his wife have better access to food and drink, Mrs Foley is cool, sometimes she even makes sure mr Foley brings some in for me. Ya know, coz I'm their favorite student. It's not in a weird way, it's just they were friends of the family before the new wold took effect. Mr Foley and my dad were buddies from high school, so it goes without sayin really. "All the mated humans will be at the front of each years line again, after that you will all be placed in status, Nick, as your mated to Alpha Arya, you'll be at the front of your line. Dylan as you have been branded..." his voice trailed off as he looked at me. "Yeah yeah, I'll be at the back of the line behind everyone. I get it." I huffed, moving my sight towards the window once more. "I am sorry." I turned to face Mr Foley again, he looked genuinely upset and that look of pity wasn't something I wanted to see. I gave him a clipped nod then turned away again. "Anyway, on to the subject matter, 'Of Mice and Men, page 64, Nick why don't you start us off with the reading."

"Of course sir." Nick began reading the book but I switched off, today is going to be a long day. After almost an hour and a half of reading comprehension, the bell chimed signaling lunch. I shot up and out of the classroom before anyone could say anything. Today, I was avoiding drama like the plague.

I wandered the corridors straight to the lunch hall. All the people I would normally hang out with we're all mated so I grabbed my lunch quickly, and sat down at the end of the human table. Let me lay the lunch hall out for you. On one side of the room you have two long rows of tables, with simple benches that make it look like prison, on the other side of the room you have multiple round tables with fancy chairs. Yup you get it. The humans sit at the prison tables and the wolves and traitors sit on the fancy tables, they get fancy food, fancy drink and most importantly they get pudding. what I would give to have some pudding. "Dylan can we just talk?" Nick quickly took the spot next to me as he set his lunch tray down. I looked at his food which had been placed on a ceramic, circular white plate. God that looked good. I sighed knowing he was going to talk anyway. "Fine, you have two minutes." I used my fork to take a bit of pasta off his plate and shoved it into my mouth. God that was good. "After I left school, I was taken to the pack house with Arya, and I really got to know her. It took a few days for me to finally accept being with her, but ever since life has been ok, and the sax... well that's a whole other story." Eww, I didn't need that mental image in my head. "I'm glad your happy." I stated before deciding I had no appetite. His face held shock before he sighed in relief. "That means a lot Dylan, I mean you know that your opinion matters to me." I cut him off before he could say anything else. "I said I was glad your happy. I didn't say I approved of what you've done. You've basically turned into one of THEM, I can't ever forgive you for that." He looked hurt, but I couldn't care less about his feelings. He placed his hand gently on my arm and went to open his mouth when a growl sounded out. All heads whipped to where it came from, Arya was stood holding a glass of soda and a plate, she was looking right at me and Nick and I would totally be dead if looks could kil. Nick quickly retracted his hand, his whole face fell and you could see sorrow flood his irises. "You sit with me now, get away from that, that... scum!" Wow, Nick was such a lucky guy. NOT. "You heard her. Get away from me, go sit with your new friends. I'm happy for you, and I understand where your coming from, but don't come up to me again and pretend you didn't betray your own kind. Don't pretend you didn't betray me." I shoved a little bit of food into my mouth before standing up and walking out of the cafeteria, leaving my tray on the table. I was walking through the hallway to the classroom, you see I decided to spend lunch with Mr Foley in his room, when I happened to hear voices in the corridor. "Is it wise for her to actually be present when the king arrives? Surely she could be placed in the dungeons, it might actually teach her some respect?" My principal was speaking to the alpha of our district, huh, if I stayed and listened do you think they'd notice, maybe they could smell me?! "Everyone is to be present, if the Riley girl does one thing out of line she will be dealt with severely, child or not. That girl has been a blight to the district since day one, she's dangerous, if she puts one hair out of place I will personally break her into submission." Oh shet, they were talking about me specifically, and they mentioned the dungeon, that's not been used in months. Normally I would have listened in more but something about the entire situation didn't sit right with me, all of a sudden, I was on edge, and simply wasn't interested in the slightest in hearing how my misery was to be enhanced. I backed up slightly before turning around and bumping head first into one of the hottest man I had ever seen. I lost my balance immediately and fell straight on to the floor letting out a small grumble in the process. His eyebrows knitted together quickly and his breath hitched in his throat as he looked upon my fallen state and gasped. "Mate!" He whispered, his eyes fixated on mine. Now, I had seen and heard that many times to know what that means, I gasped before taking a step back. 'No, no, no, no, no. This can not be happening.' He growled slightly before stepping towards me. Oh Shet!

Eyeliner is one of the popular cosmetic products used to emphasize the beauty of the eyes. This product is available in different types and colors in the market, and depending on the type of application and need, it can be in the form of liquid, gel, pencil, or magic.
Types of eyeliner Liquid eyeliner:
This type of eyeliner has a thin brush that can be used to draw precise and sharp lines. It is suitable for professional use and requires a trained hand. Gel eyeliner:
Gel eyeliner is applied using a special brush. This type of eyeliner is suitable for creating thicker and longer-lasting lines. Pencil eyeliner:
Pencil eyeliner is easier to use and more suitable for beginners. It is also suitable for everyday use and softer lines. Magic eyeliner:
Due to its flat and hard tip, this type of eyeliner makes it easier to draw uniform and long-lasting lines and is suitable for people with less experience. Tips for using eyeliner Choosing the right type: Choose the right type of eyeliner depending on your skin type and needs. For example, if you have oily skin, choose waterproof and sweat-resistant eyeliner. Practice: Drawing eyeliner requires practice. If you are a beginner, start with pencil eyeliner first. Product storage: Store the eyeliner in a dry and cool place and close the lid tightly after each use. Correct removal: To remove the eyeliner, use special eye makeup remover solutions so as not to damage the thin skin around the eyes. Makeup tips Drawing a straight line: To draw a straight line, place your hand on a flat surface and draw carefully. Use masking tape: If you want to draw a cat eye, you can use a piece of masking tape to make your lines smooth and uniform. Exfoliation: Before applying eyeliner, make sure that the skin of your eyelid is clean and dry so that the eyeliner sits better on the skin. Eyeliner, as one of the important cosmetic tools, can have a great impact on your appearance, and with proper practice and use, you can achieve your desired results. There are many different types of eyeliner styles and they can help change the shape and highlight of the eyes. Here are some of the most popular and used eyeliner styles:

1. Classic Eyeliner Features: A thin and precise line drawn close to the lash line. Suitable for: everyday makeup and formal occasions. How to draw: Using a pencil or liquid eyeliner, start from the inner corner of the eye and continue to the outer corner.
2. Cat Eyeliner Features: A sharp and elongated line that extends upwards from the outer corner of the eye. Suitable for: attractive and impressive makeup. How to draw: Start from the inner corner of the eye and draw a line towards the outer corner. Then, from the outer corner of the eye, draw a line outward and up and connect it to the previous line.
3. Smokey Eyeliner Features: A soft and faded line that gives depth and charm to the eyes. Suitable for: night makeup and parties. How to apply: Apply the eyeliner close to the lashes and then blend it out with a small brush for a soft, smoky look.
4. Winged Eyeliner Features: Similar to cat eyeliner but with longer and often thicker wings. Suitable for: Dramatic and fantasy makeup. How to draw: Same as cat eyeliner, but draw the wings longer and thicker.
5. Double eyeliner Features: two parallel eye lines that give the eyes a special and artistic look. Suitable for: Fantasy and artistic makeup. How to draw: first draw a classic eyeliner and then create a parallel line above it.
6. Egyptian eyeliner (Cleopatra Eyeliner) Features: Thick and sharp lines that make the eyes stand out. Suitable for: fancy makeup and special occasions. How to draw: thick, sharp lines from the inner corner of the eye to the outer corner, then a vertical line upwards.
7. Invisible eyeliner (Tightlining) Features: A very thin eyeliner that is drawn inside the lash line to make the eyes look more natural and the eyelashes look fuller. Suitable for: natural and everyday makeup. How to draw: draw the eyeliner exactly inside the upper lash line without it being visible on the eyelid.
8. Lower Eyeliner Features: eyeliner drawn on the lower eyelid. Suitable for: special and different makeup. How to draw: draw a thin and precise line on the lower eyelid, you can fade it to make it look softer.
9. Graphic Eyeliner Features: Artistic and unusual designs using eyeliner. Suitable for: fashion and creative makeup. How to draw: Using your creativity, draw unusual and artistic designs and lines on the eyelid. These styles can be changed based on your taste and needs, and with practice and experience, you can achieve the necessary skill to perform each of these styles.

Finally, remember that:
Practice and patience are the keys to success in eyeliner. Appropriate and high-quality tools can make your work easier.
خط چشم یکی از ابزارهای قدرتمند در دنیای آرایش است که می‌تواند به چشم‌ها عمق، جذابیت و تغییرات چشمگیری ببخشد. با وجود انواع و سبک‌های مختلف خط چشم، هر فرد می‌تواند با تمرین و تجربه، بهترین روش و سبک مناسب خود را پیدا کند. از خط چشم کلاسیک گرفته تا سبک‌های گرافیکی و فانتزی، همه این‌ها می‌توانند به تقویت اعتماد به نفس و زیبایی طبیعی شما کمک کنند.

Just copy this, paste this into a sandbox, then make a thread in the Trope Repair Shop linking to it. The thread shall be titled "Needs Help: Inexplicable Language Fluency".
A wick check for InexplicableLanguageFluency.
'''Why?''': InexplicableLanguageFluency seems to lump in examples of characters demonstrating fluency in a language they've never learned with examples of characters merely understanding a language they never learned. For one, it doesn't make sense for the latter examples to be there since the title has the word "fluency" in it. Secondly, many of the latter examples can be moved to BilingualDialogue or AmplifiedAnimalAptitude.
'''Wicks checked''': 50/72
'''Wick totals''':
* 21/50 wicks, or 11.5%, were clear examples of a character demonstrating fluency in a language they never learned. * 24/50 wicks, or 12% were examples of a character understanding a language without demonstrating fluency. * 4/50 wicks, or 2%, were written in a way that made it unclear whether they were being used correctly. * 1/50 wicks, or 1.5%, was an aversion.
[[folder:Characters demonstrating fluency in a language they never learned (21/50)]] * Characters.AtlantisTheLostEmpire: The Atlanteans are able to fluently communicate with the explorers from the surface in English and French. This is handwaved as their own language being a precursor to all other languages. * Characters.YaBoyKongming: ** Kongming finds himself immediately fluent in Japanese despite having never learned the language, and the Japan of his era was still a dwarf country that mostly only sent envoys to Shu's rival kingdom of Wei. Eiko points out the absurdity of how an ancient Chinese figure can suddenly speak Japanese, and Kongming himself is at a loss of how he can do this. * Characters.YellowjacketsCrashSurvivors: [[spoiler:She, and by extension others in the Antler Queen cult she forms, randomly speak French on occasion, which Lottie at least is ''not'' fluent in, indicating mental instability.]] '''If this is supposed to be an inversion, it's correct, but it should be rewritten to mention that it's an inversion.''' * ComicBook.Asterix: Gauls can speak to most foreign peoples without any difficulty. Either everyone can speak Gaulish, or the Gauls can speak other languages, but either way is downright impossible. * ComicBook.UltimateFantasticFour: ** Downplayed. Namor demonstrates this trope after spending nine thousand years of being sealed inside a sarcophagus prison. Being from an ancient civilization of Atlantis that predates the modern English language, he initially has no idea what his new captors are saying when they find him. However, thanks to his psionic powers he proves to be a frighteningly fast learner and is able to learn English within an hour to understand modern American English and casually deliver threats and demands. ** Happens again when the Four meets the Silver Surfer who is able to understand English perfectly the instant he arrives to Earth for the first time. He justifies this by stating can decipher electromagnetic signals in the air to learn alien tongues in seconds. * Friends.TropesFToJ: Zig-zagged. "The One Where Ross Can't Flirt" has her speaking with Joey's Italian grandmother, with Phoebe seeming as surprised about this as Joey. But in an earlier episode, Rachel's former lover Paulo calls her "bellissima" and she doesn't understand. ->'''Joey:''' Wow, Phoebs, you speak Italian?\\ '''Phoebe:''' Apparently. * Film.ExorcistTheBeginning: In-universe, the main characters note Cheche's sudden fluency in English after being brought to the hospital. Of course this is because it is Pazuzu speaking through him and not actually Cheche. '''This is DiscussedTrope, not InUniverse'''. * Film.{{Phenomenon}}: Downplayed. After a UFO encounter, George gains a form of superintelligence where he can learn complicated tasks and subjects quickly, to the point where he's able to fluently speak Portuguese after reading an English-to-Portuguese dictionary for twenty minutes. This was foreshadowed in an earlier scene where after usually fumbling to speak Spanish, he's suddenly able to speak it perfectly, to the point that his Hispanic coworker half-seriously declares that it's better than his. * Literature.ForgottenRuin: When Talker and Vandahar speak during the final stretch to the Hidden Cave, Vandahar speaks in what we would recognize as modern German, which of course makes communicating with him very easy for Talker but raises a few questions. * Literature.InCryptid: Of the GeneticMemory version. When Candice the Dragon Princess comes up against the LizardFolk wandering about the New York sewers, she's able to make them halt using a guttural language. She reveals to Verity that it's a inborn language all Princesses know and something the "Servitors" are meant to respond to. She's also never used it before as Servitors can only be created from a [[spoiler:living male dragon]]. * Literature.SeasonalFears: Aven is essentially in a coma all her life but, thanks to the alchemical knowledge tinctures of her father', she speaks perfect English even if there are some issues with definitions. * Literature.ShiversMDSpenser: Bubbie moves to France with her family and meets a new French kid, Jean-Luc, and can somehow converse with him without any language issues; at the end of the story she can hold a long conversation with a stranger in French, despite spending less than a week in the country. Previous books with an overseas setting will at least attempt justifying this trope (for instance, ''Terror on Troll Mountain'' has the protagonist's Italian family choosing to speak in English because they're anticipating American guests) but this one handwaves the issue until it's a borderline plot hole. * Recap.AsterixAndTheGoths: Getafix is able to speak fluent Gothic, despite being a Gaulish druid who has no logical reason to know it (especially considering how antagonistic the Goths are in this story). * Recap.FriendsS5E19TheOneWhereRossCantFlirt: Phoebe speaks with Joey's Italian grandmother, with [[InexplicableLanguageFluency Phoebe seeming as surprised about this as Joey]]. '''Joey:''' Wow, Phoebs, you speak Italian?\\ '''Phoebe:''' Apparently. * Recap.TalesFromTheDarksideS4E6TheGraveRobber: Aileen is surprised to hear Tapok speaking English when he wakes up, the mummy giving an offhand mention that he can speak the language of anyone who violates the tomb. * Roleplay.WanyaKingdomVSAwoofyUnity: Fragment has been shown to speak any language even if he has never heard it before. * Series.{{Llanargollen}}: In "Dirgelwch y Llyfr Coll", Prys and Barti speak to each other in Swahili. It seems incredibly unlikely that Prys would be fluent in that language, and Barti only speaks in unintelligible grunts with individual words thrown in. The other characters barely react to this. * VideoGame.EternalReturnBlackSurvival: The test subjects are able to work together with each other in spite of how one would presume that the vast majority of them would be completely unable to verbally communicate with most of the others. {{Averted}} by some of the achievement lore entries, which include statements observed from test subjects that some of which have a note underneath which states the words were translated by AI and will be reviewed and localized further in the future. '''Since this seems to be an implied example rather than a straight example, and it seems to be ambiguous InUniverse whether it's this or BilingualDialogue, I'll leave it here.''' * VideoGame.MegaManBattleNetwork2?: [=MegaMan=]'s translation system allows Lan to speak flawless Netopian after they arrive in Netopia. * WesternAnimation.{{Pocahontas}}: English explorer John Smith meets the alluring Pocahontas of the Powhatan tribe. Smith doesn't know her language, nor she his. That is, until Pocahontas takes a breath of magic wind. Suddenly, her English is better than his. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Aversions (1/50)]] * DarthWiki.{{Aquilaverse}}: ''Averted'' Not inexplicable, since her spell "Xenographus" let's her read any language she encounters for a limited duration. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Unclear (4/50)]] * Characters.FrightKrewe: His power makes him this. He has the ability to communicate with anyone and understand anything they say, whether its a [[InexplicableLanguageFluency person]], an [[SpeaksFluentAnimal animal]], or an [[NatureSpirit 'elemental entity']]. '''The way the example is written, it's not clear whether it's this or BilingualDialogue.''' * Recap.CreepshowS1E3BadWolfDown: Doc is shown to speak French and understands the language quite fluently, allowing him to translate the explanation of the werewolf woman's plight. '''You can't "understand a language fluently". Does he ''speak'' it fluently, or at least speak it better than he should realistically be able to?''' * Series.AlloAllo: Frenchmen, Germans, and Italians can talk to each other. This is never explained. '''In their own languages, or...?''' * WesternAnimation.SpaceChimps: The [[SpeaksFluentAnimal aliens]] and [[InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien chimps]] understand each other, despite that the chimps have just arrived on their planet. '''Does one of them speak the other's language, or do they just understand each other's languages?''' [[/folder]]
!!!'''Characters being able to understand a language without demonstrating fluency (24/50) 12%''' [[folder:Amplified Animal Aptitude (7/50) '''3.5%''']] * Literature.MrsFrisbyAndTheRatsOfNIMH: The animals can understand humans and each other, but can't talk to humans. This leads to a bit of FridgeLogic as to where exactly all these animals picked up English (justified for the rats, as they were taught it in the lab, but not for any of the others), and whether they can understand other human languages automatically as well. * Recap.TheSimpsonsS6E6TreehouseOfHorrorV: When Homer is sent back in time to a prehistoric era, and has to avoid stepping on anything to change the future, he ends up swatting a mosquito then asks for reassurance that it won't change the future. He is understood despite being in an era before English existed, since a sloth behind him shrugs and grunts as if to say "I don't know." * TheSimpsons.TropesIToM: ** In "Treehouse of Horror V", when Homer is sent back in time to a prehistoric era, and has to avoid stepping on anything to change the future, he ends up swatting a mosquito then asks for reassurance that it won't change the future. He is understood despite being in an era before English existed, since a sloth behind him shrugs and grunts as if to say "I don't know." '''Just checked and the sloth doesn’t say “I don’t know”, it just grunts with an intonation that indicates that that’s what it was saying. So, not fluent in English.''' * Tarzan.TropesGToZ ** Played straight when Jane talks to a baby baboon and he understands her. * TotalDrama.TropesHToP: Some wild animals--especially squirrels--can understand humans. * WesternAnimation.FindingNemo: Dory understands English. The fish in the tank understand English because they've been hearing humans all their life, but there's no reason for Dory to understand English. [[spoiler:Subverted in that ''WesternAnimation/FindingDory'' reveals she was raised in a marine life institute in California.]] '''Since it says “understand” and not “speak” I can only assume this is a case of TranslationConvention and AnimalTalk, which means they aren’t actually fluent in English.''' * WesternAnimation.SpiritStallionOfTheCimarron: Spirit, despite not having had any human contact before his capture, understands what the human characters are saying. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Bilingual Dialogue (11/50)]] * Characters.MashupWeekMegamixCompetitors: Despite the fact that all 3 members speak different languages (English for Scoop, French for Eric and Italian for Baba), they can be understood by each other and by others easily. * Film.NoTimeToDie: James Bond's 5-year-old daughter, Mathilde, understands English even though her mother Madelaine speaks to her in French and all the media she consumes is in French. * Film.Titanic1997: Jack and the Swedish men understand each other well enough that Olaf is able to bet his tickets for all Jack and Fabrizio's money. * FinalFantasyXIV.TropesGToI?: ** In ''Heavensward'', the Warrior and Alphinaud are startled by how they can understand the great wyrm Hraesvelgr, who only speaks the language of dragons. They learn that while other races may not speak the dragon's language, the inherent power and magic in a dragon's song essentially beams meaning directly into the hearer's mind. ** The Scions are shocked in ''Shadowbringers'' when they meet [[spoiler:Emet-Selch's recreation of the lost city of Amaurot, the home of the BenevolentPrecursor race. Although the ancient version of mankind spoke only in a StarfishLanguage of droning tones, the Scions born millennia after the world was sundered find that they're able to discern meaning from it.]] * Literature.CookingWithWildGame: Lampshaded. One of the few supernatural parts of the setting is that [[TrappedInAnotherWorld Asuta]] can understand its inhabitants' language (almost) perfectly. Nobody knows why, nor do they ever find out; it's essentially one of the AcceptableBreaksFromReality needed to get the plot going. * Literature.{{Fablehaven}}: After receiving magic from fairies, Kendra gains the ability to interpret their language intuitively despite never actually learning it. * Manga.MiriyaAndMarie: Aside of occasional GratuitousFrench, Miriya can understand all French and animal characters and vice versa. Blackey also tries to charge Miriya for massage in yen despite being French. * VideoGame.KnightsOfTheOldRepublic: Yes, your character understands plenty of languages, but there isn't anyone who ''should'' understand the language of the AbusivePrecursors. [[spoiler: Subverted. Turns out you'd been there before and learned the language, but just forgotten the whole thing between Malak's backstab and whatever the Jedi did to "rebuild" you]]. '''When moving this to BilingualDialogue, I would rewrite it as “Your character understands plenty of languages, but can only speak one.''' * WebOriginal.MashupWeek: In both tournaments, Flat Eric speaks French, but everyone can understand him perfectly. Same with Gigi, who speaks Italian. * WesternAnimation.JosieAndThePussycats: ''[[RecycledWithAGimmick In Outer Space]]'' has Melody encounter an alien creature that looks like cotton candy with eyes and flippers. The critter speaks in a series of bleeps, and Melody names him Bleep. [[InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien She can also understand him perfectly, and acts as translator for everyone else]]. Also, Bleep seems to understand English just fine. '''I also think InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien should be limited to people actually speaking Alien instead of just understanding it, but that’s for another time.''' [[/folder]]
[[folder:Other (6/50)]] * Characters.InfinityTrainSeekerOfCrocusMultiverse: Upon looking at some files from the old phone Oscar picked up, he's somehow able to read ''Aztec glyphs'' just by looking at it. [[spoiler:This is probably due to his covenant with Agares, as one of Agares' ability is to let his conjurer read and understand different languages.]] * Fanfic.InfinityTrainSeekerOfCrocus: Kaito is somehow able to read ''Aztec glyphs'' just by looking at it. [[spoiler:This is probably due to his covenant with Agares, as one of Agares' ability is to let his conjurer read and understand different languages.]] * Characters.YaBoyKongming: ** Kongming also demonstrates an ability to understand English, as he is able to tell that the English song Eiko sings to him is a love song, with enough comprehension to be moved by a vision of his old comrades due to the lyrics referencing being still alive and alone. Later, upon meeting Tsuyoshi Kondo after Eiko's performance at the Yoyogi Art Festival, Kongming easily translates his GratuitousEnglish for a confused Kobayashi, and he's even become friends with a foreigner in Roppongi, who speaks exclusively in English. He's capable of some GratuitousEnglish himself, to boot. * Recap/CreepshowS2E2PublicTelevisionOfTheDead: Goodman reveals to Ted, out of nowhere, that he can read Sumerian, allowing him to translate the Necronomicon's incantations and let Evil roam free once again. * Series.{{Carnivale}}: During the fireball show, Samson secretly passes an old Crusader fob up to the stage during Lodz's psychometry act. When Lodz touches it, he's struck by visions of a holy war and begins chanting ''"In hoc signo vinces!"'' Ben, an uneducated farmboy, surprises Samson by translating even though he doesn't even recognize the language is Latin: '''Ben Hawkins:''' By this sign we conquer... by this sign we conquer... * WesternAnimation.SpaceChimps2ZartogStrikesBack: Zartog understands the humans, despite having just arrived on Earth. He even understands Spanish, Hindi, and Xhosa upon hearing them for the first time, making the humans' inability to understand him even more hilarious. [[/folder]]

Just copy this, paste this into a sandbox, then make a thread in the Trope Repair Shop linking to it. The thread shall be titled "Needs Help: Inexplicable Language Fluency".
A wick check for InexplicableLanguageFluency.
'''Why?''': InexplicableLanguageFluency seems to lump in examples of characters demonstrating fluency in a language they've never learned with examples of characters merely understanding a language they never learned. For one, it doesn't make sense for the latter examples to be there since the title has the word "fluency" in it. Secondly, many of the latter examples can be moved to BilingualDialogue or AmplifiedAnimalAptitude.
'''Wicks checked''': 50/72
'''Wick totals''':
* 21/50 wicks, or 11.5%, were clear examples of a character demonstrating fluency in a language they never learned. * 24/50 wicks, or 12% were examples of a character understanding a language without demonstrating fluency. * 4/50 wicks, or 2%, were written in a way that made it unclear whether they were being used correctly. * 1/50 wicks, or 1.5%, was an aversion.
[[folder:Characters demonstrating fluency in a language they never learned (21/50)]] * Characters.AtlantisTheLostEmpire: The Atlanteans are able to fluently communicate with the explorers from the surface in English and French. This is handwaved as their own language being a precursor to all other languages. * Characters.YaBoyKongming: ** Kongming finds himself immediately fluent in Japanese despite having never learned the language, and the Japan of his era was still a dwarf country that mostly only sent envoys to Shu's rival kingdom of Wei. Eiko points out the absurdity of how an ancient Chinese figure can suddenly speak Japanese, and Kongming himself is at a loss of how he can do this. * Characters.YellowjacketsCrashSurvivors: [[spoiler:She, and by extension others in the Antler Queen cult she forms, randomly speak French on occasion, which Lottie at least is ''not'' fluent in, indicating mental instability.]] '''If this is supposed to be an inversion, it's correct, but it should be rewritten to mention that it's an inversion.''' * ComicBook.Asterix: Gauls can speak to most foreign peoples without any difficulty. Either everyone can speak Gaulish, or the Gauls can speak other languages, but either way is downright impossible. * ComicBook.UltimateFantasticFour: ** Downplayed. Namor demonstrates this trope after spending nine thousand years of being sealed inside a sarcophagus prison. Being from an ancient civilization of Atlantis that predates the modern English language, he initially has no idea what his new captors are saying when they find him. However, thanks to his psionic powers he proves to be a frighteningly fast learner and is able to learn English within an hour to understand modern American English and casually deliver threats and demands. ** Happens again when the Four meets the Silver Surfer who is able to understand English perfectly the instant he arrives to Earth for the first time. He justifies this by stating can decipher electromagnetic signals in the air to learn alien tongues in seconds. * Friends.TropesFToJ: Zig-zagged. "The One Where Ross Can't Flirt" has her speaking with Joey's Italian grandmother, with Phoebe seeming as surprised about this as Joey. But in an earlier episode, Rachel's former lover Paulo calls her "bellissima" and she doesn't understand. ->'''Joey:''' Wow, Phoebs, you speak Italian?\\ '''Phoebe:''' Apparently. * Film.ExorcistTheBeginning: In-universe, the main characters note Cheche's sudden fluency in English after being brought to the hospital. Of course this is because it is Pazuzu speaking through him and not actually Cheche. '''This is DiscussedTrope, not InUniverse'''. * Film.{{Phenomenon}}: Downplayed. After a UFO encounter, George gains a form of superintelligence where he can learn complicated tasks and subjects quickly, to the point where he's able to fluently speak Portuguese after reading an English-to-Portuguese dictionary for twenty minutes. This was foreshadowed in an earlier scene where after usually fumbling to speak Spanish, he's suddenly able to speak it perfectly, to the point that his Hispanic coworker half-seriously declares that it's better than his. * Literature.ForgottenRuin: When Talker and Vandahar speak during the final stretch to the Hidden Cave, Vandahar speaks in what we would recognize as modern German, which of course makes communicating with him very easy for Talker but raises a few questions. * Literature.InCryptid: Of the GeneticMemory version. When Candice the Dragon Princess comes up against the LizardFolk wandering about the New York sewers, she's able to make them halt using a guttural language. She reveals to Verity that it's a inborn language all Princesses know and something the "Servitors" are meant to respond to. She's also never used it before as Servitors can only be created from a [[spoiler:living male dragon]]. * Literature.SeasonalFears: Aven is essentially in a coma all her life but, thanks to the alchemical knowledge tinctures of her father', she speaks perfect English even if there are some issues with definitions. * Literature.ShiversMDSpenser: Bubbie moves to France with her family and meets a new French kid, Jean-Luc, and can somehow converse with him without any language issues; at the end of the story she can hold a long conversation with a stranger in French, despite spending less than a week in the country. Previous books with an overseas setting will at least attempt justifying this trope (for instance, ''Terror on Troll Mountain'' has the protagonist's Italian family choosing to speak in English because they're anticipating American guests) but this one handwaves the issue until it's a borderline plot hole. * Recap.AsterixAndTheGoths: Getafix is able to speak fluent Gothic, despite being a Gaulish druid who has no logical reason to know it (especially considering how antagonistic the Goths are in this story). * Recap.FriendsS5E19TheOneWhereRossCantFlirt: Phoebe speaks with Joey's Italian grandmother, with [[InexplicableLanguageFluency Phoebe seeming as surprised about this as Joey]]. '''Joey:''' Wow, Phoebs, you speak Italian?\\ '''Phoebe:''' Apparently. * Recap.TalesFromTheDarksideS4E6TheGraveRobber: Aileen is surprised to hear Tapok speaking English when he wakes up, the mummy giving an offhand mention that he can speak the language of anyone who violates the tomb. * Roleplay.WanyaKingdomVSAwoofyUnity: Fragment has been shown to speak any language even if he has never heard it before. * Series.{{Llanargollen}}: In "Dirgelwch y Llyfr Coll", Prys and Barti speak to each other in Swahili. It seems incredibly unlikely that Prys would be fluent in that language, and Barti only speaks in unintelligible grunts with individual words thrown in. The other characters barely react to this. * VideoGame.EternalReturnBlackSurvival: The test subjects are able to work together with each other in spite of how one would presume that the vast majority of them would be completely unable to verbally communicate with most of the others. {{Averted}} by some of the achievement lore entries, which include statements observed from test subjects that some of which have a note underneath which states the words were translated by AI and will be reviewed and localized further in the future. '''Since this seems to be an implied example rather than a straight example, and it seems to be ambiguous InUniverse whether it's this or BilingualDialogue, I'll leave it here.''' * VideoGame.MegaManBattleNetwork2?: [=MegaMan=]'s translation system allows Lan to speak flawless Netopian after they arrive in Netopia. * WesternAnimation.{{Pocahontas}}: English explorer John Smith meets the alluring Pocahontas of the Powhatan tribe. Smith doesn't know her language, nor she his. That is, until Pocahontas takes a breath of magic wind. Suddenly, her English is better than his. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Aversions (1/50)]] * DarthWiki.{{Aquilaverse}}: ''Averted'' Not inexplicable, since her spell "Xenographus" let's her read any language she encounters for a limited duration. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Unclear (4/50)]] * Characters.FrightKrewe: His power makes him this. He has the ability to communicate with anyone and understand anything they say, whether its a [[InexplicableLanguageFluency person]], an [[SpeaksFluentAnimal animal]], or an [[NatureSpirit 'elemental entity']]. '''The way the example is written, it's not clear whether it's this or BilingualDialogue.''' * Recap.CreepshowS1E3BadWolfDown: Doc is shown to speak French and understands the language quite fluently, allowing him to translate the explanation of the werewolf woman's plight. '''You can't "understand a language fluently". Does he ''speak'' it fluently, or at least speak it better than he should realistically be able to?''' * Series.AlloAllo: Frenchmen, Germans, and Italians can talk to each other. This is never explained. '''In their own languages, or...?''' * WesternAnimation.SpaceChimps: The [[SpeaksFluentAnimal aliens]] and [[InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien chimps]] understand each other, despite that the chimps have just arrived on their planet. '''Does one of them speak the other's language, or do they just understand each other's languages?''' [[/folder]]
!!!'''Characters being able to understand a language without demonstrating fluency (24/50) 12%''' [[folder:Amplified Animal Aptitude (7/50) '''3.5%''']] * Literature.MrsFrisbyAndTheRatsOfNIMH: The animals can understand humans and each other, but can't talk to humans. This leads to a bit of FridgeLogic as to where exactly all these animals picked up English (justified for the rats, as they were taught it in the lab, but not for any of the others), and whether they can understand other human languages automatically as well. * Recap.TheSimpsonsS6E6TreehouseOfHorrorV: When Homer is sent back in time to a prehistoric era, and has to avoid stepping on anything to change the future, he ends up swatting a mosquito then asks for reassurance that it won't change the future. He is understood despite being in an era before English existed, since a sloth behind him shrugs and grunts as if to say "I don't know." * TheSimpsons.TropesIToM: ** In "Treehouse of Horror V", when Homer is sent back in time to a prehistoric era, and has to avoid stepping on anything to change the future, he ends up swatting a mosquito then asks for reassurance that it won't change the future. He is understood despite being in an era before English existed, since a sloth behind him shrugs and grunts as if to say "I don't know." '''Just checked and the sloth doesn’t say “I don’t know”, it just grunts with an intonation that indicates that that’s what it was saying. So, not fluent in English.''' * Tarzan.TropesGToZ ** Played straight when Jane talks to a baby baboon and he understands her. * TotalDrama.TropesHToP: Some wild animals--especially squirrels--can understand humans. * WesternAnimation.FindingNemo: Dory understands English. The fish in the tank understand English because they've been hearing humans all their life, but there's no reason for Dory to understand English. [[spoiler:Subverted in that ''WesternAnimation/FindingDory'' reveals she was raised in a marine life institute in California.]] '''Since it says “understand” and not “speak” I can only assume this is a case of TranslationConvention and AnimalTalk, which means they aren’t actually fluent in English.''' * WesternAnimation.SpiritStallionOfTheCimarron: Spirit, despite not having had any human contact before his capture, understands what the human characters are saying. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Bilingual Dialogue (11/50)]] * Characters.MashupWeekMegamixCompetitors: Despite the fact that all 3 members speak different languages (English for Scoop, French for Eric and Italian for Baba), they can be understood by each other and by others easily. * Film.NoTimeToDie: James Bond's 5-year-old daughter, Mathilde, understands English even though her mother Madelaine speaks to her in French and all the media she consumes is in French. * Film.Titanic1997: Jack and the Swedish men understand each other well enough that Olaf is able to bet his tickets for all Jack and Fabrizio's money. * FinalFantasyXIV.TropesGToI?: ** In ''Heavensward'', the Warrior and Alphinaud are startled by how they can understand the great wyrm Hraesvelgr, who only speaks the language of dragons. They learn that while other races may not speak the dragon's language, the inherent power and magic in a dragon's song essentially beams meaning directly into the hearer's mind. ** The Scions are shocked in ''Shadowbringers'' when they meet [[spoiler:Emet-Selch's recreation of the lost city of Amaurot, the home of the BenevolentPrecursor race. Although the ancient version of mankind spoke only in a StarfishLanguage of droning tones, the Scions born millennia after the world was sundered find that they're able to discern meaning from it.]] * Literature.CookingWithWildGame: Lampshaded. One of the few supernatural parts of the setting is that [[TrappedInAnotherWorld Asuta]] can understand its inhabitants' language (almost) perfectly. Nobody knows why, nor do they ever find out; it's essentially one of the AcceptableBreaksFromReality needed to get the plot going. * Literature.{{Fablehaven}}: After receiving magic from fairies, Kendra gains the ability to interpret their language intuitively despite never actually learning it. * Manga.MiriyaAndMarie: Aside of occasional GratuitousFrench, Miriya can understand all French and animal characters and vice versa. Blackey also tries to charge Miriya for massage in yen despite being French. * VideoGame.KnightsOfTheOldRepublic: Yes, your character understands plenty of languages, but there isn't anyone who ''should'' understand the language of the AbusivePrecursors. [[spoiler: Subverted. Turns out you'd been there before and learned the language, but just forgotten the whole thing between Malak's backstab and whatever the Jedi did to "rebuild" you]]. '''When moving this to BilingualDialogue, I would rewrite it as “Your character understands plenty of languages, but can only speak one.''' * WebOriginal.MashupWeek: In both tournaments, Flat Eric speaks French, but everyone can understand him perfectly. Same with Gigi, who speaks Italian. * WesternAnimation.JosieAndThePussycats: ''[[RecycledWithAGimmick In Outer Space]]'' has Melody encounter an alien creature that looks like cotton candy with eyes and flippers. The critter speaks in a series of bleeps, and Melody names him Bleep. [[InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien She can also understand him perfectly, and acts as translator for everyone else]]. Also, Bleep seems to understand English just fine. '''I also think InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien should be limited to people actually speaking Alien instead of just understanding it, but that’s for another time.''' [[/folder]]
[[folder:Other (6/50)]] * Characters.InfinityTrainSeekerOfCrocusMultiverse: Upon looking at some files from the old phone Oscar picked up, he's somehow able to read ''Aztec glyphs'' just by looking at it. [[spoiler:This is probably due to his covenant with Agares, as one of Agares' ability is to let his conjurer read and understand different languages.]] * Fanfic.InfinityTrainSeekerOfCrocus: Kaito is somehow able to read ''Aztec glyphs'' just by looking at it. [[spoiler:This is probably due to his covenant with Agares, as one of Agares' ability is to let his conjurer read and understand different languages.]] * Characters.YaBoyKongming: ** Kongming also demonstrates an ability to understand English, as he is able to tell that the English song Eiko sings to him is a love song, with enough comprehension to be moved by a vision of his old comrades due to the lyrics referencing being still alive and alone. Later, upon meeting Tsuyoshi Kondo after Eiko's performance at the Yoyogi Art Festival, Kongming easily translates his GratuitousEnglish for a confused Kobayashi, and he's even become friends with a foreigner in Roppongi, who speaks exclusively in English. He's capable of some GratuitousEnglish himself, to boot. * Recap/CreepshowS2E2PublicTelevisionOfTheDead: Goodman reveals to Ted, out of nowhere, that he can read Sumerian, allowing him to translate the Necronomicon's incantations and let Evil roam free once again. * Series.{{Carnivale}}: During the fireball show, Samson secretly passes an old Crusader fob up to the stage during Lodz's psychometry act. When Lodz touches it, he's struck by visions of a holy war and begins chanting ''"In hoc signo vinces!"'' Ben, an uneducated farmboy, surprises Samson by translating even though he doesn't even recognize the language is Latin: '''Ben Hawkins:''' By this sign we conquer... by this sign we conquer... * WesternAnimation.SpaceChimps2ZartogStrikesBack: Zartog understands the humans, despite having just arrived on Earth. He even understands Spanish, Hindi, and Xhosa upon hearing them for the first time, making the humans' inability to understand him even more hilarious. [[/folder]]

Just copy this, paste this into a sandbox, then make a thread in the Trope Repair Shop linking to it. The thread shall be titled "Needs Help: Inexplicable Language Fluency".
A wick check for InexplicableLanguageFluency.
'''Why?''': InexplicableLanguageFluency seems to lump in examples of characters demonstrating fluency in a language they've never learned with examples of characters merely understanding a language they never learned. For one, it doesn't make sense for the latter examples to be there since the title has the word "fluency" in it. Secondly, many of the latter examples can be moved to BilingualDialogue or AmplifiedAnimalAptitude.
'''Wicks checked''': 50/72
'''Wick totals''':
* 21/50 wicks, or 11.5%, were clear examples of a character demonstrating fluency in a language they never learned. * 24/50 wicks, or 12% were examples of a character understanding a language without demonstrating fluency. * 4/50 wicks, or 2%, were written in a way that made it unclear whether they were being used correctly. * 1/50 wicks, or 1.5%, was an aversion.
[[folder:Characters demonstrating fluency in a language they never learned (21/50)]] * Characters.AtlantisTheLostEmpire: The Atlanteans are able to fluently communicate with the explorers from the surface in English and French. This is handwaved as their own language being a precursor to all other languages. * Characters.YaBoyKongming: ** Kongming finds himself immediately fluent in Japanese despite having never learned the language, and the Japan of his era was still a dwarf country that mostly only sent envoys to Shu's rival kingdom of Wei. Eiko points out the absurdity of how an ancient Chinese figure can suddenly speak Japanese, and Kongming himself is at a loss of how he can do this. * Characters.YellowjacketsCrashSurvivors: [[spoiler:She, and by extension others in the Antler Queen cult she forms, randomly speak French on occasion, which Lottie at least is ''not'' fluent in, indicating mental instability.]] '''If this is supposed to be an inversion, it's correct, but it should be rewritten to mention that it's an inversion.''' * ComicBook.Asterix: Gauls can speak to most foreign peoples without any difficulty. Either everyone can speak Gaulish, or the Gauls can speak other languages, but either way is downright impossible. * ComicBook.UltimateFantasticFour: ** Downplayed. Namor demonstrates this trope after spending nine thousand years of being sealed inside a sarcophagus prison. Being from an ancient civilization of Atlantis that predates the modern English language, he initially has no idea what his new captors are saying when they find him. However, thanks to his psionic powers he proves to be a frighteningly fast learner and is able to learn English within an hour to understand modern American English and casually deliver threats and demands. ** Happens again when the Four meets the Silver Surfer who is able to understand English perfectly the instant he arrives to Earth for the first time. He justifies this by stating can decipher electromagnetic signals in the air to learn alien tongues in seconds. * Friends.TropesFToJ: Zig-zagged. "The One Where Ross Can't Flirt" has her speaking with Joey's Italian grandmother, with Phoebe seeming as surprised about this as Joey. But in an earlier episode, Rachel's former lover Paulo calls her "bellissima" and she doesn't understand. ->'''Joey:''' Wow, Phoebs, you speak Italian?\\ '''Phoebe:''' Apparently. * Film.ExorcistTheBeginning: In-universe, the main characters note Cheche's sudden fluency in English after being brought to the hospital. Of course this is because it is Pazuzu speaking through him and not actually Cheche. '''This is DiscussedTrope, not InUniverse'''. * Film.{{Phenomenon}}: Downplayed. After a UFO encounter, George gains a form of superintelligence where he can learn complicated tasks and subjects quickly, to the point where he's able to fluently speak Portuguese after reading an English-to-Portuguese dictionary for twenty minutes. This was foreshadowed in an earlier scene where after usually fumbling to speak Spanish, he's suddenly able to speak it perfectly, to the point that his Hispanic coworker half-seriously declares that it's better than his. * Literature.ForgottenRuin: When Talker and Vandahar speak during the final stretch to the Hidden Cave, Vandahar speaks in what we would recognize as modern German, which of course makes communicating with him very easy for Talker but raises a few questions. * Literature.InCryptid: Of the GeneticMemory version. When Candice the Dragon Princess comes up against the LizardFolk wandering about the New York sewers, she's able to make them halt using a guttural language. She reveals to Verity that it's a inborn language all Princesses know and something the "Servitors" are meant to respond to. She's also never used it before as Servitors can only be created from a [[spoiler:living male dragon]]. * Literature.SeasonalFears: Aven is essentially in a coma all her life but, thanks to the alchemical knowledge tinctures of her father', she speaks perfect English even if there are some issues with definitions. * Literature.ShiversMDSpenser: Bubbie moves to France with her family and meets a new French kid, Jean-Luc, and can somehow converse with him without any language issues; at the end of the story she can hold a long conversation with a stranger in French, despite spending less than a week in the country. Previous books with an overseas setting will at least attempt justifying this trope (for instance, ''Terror on Troll Mountain'' has the protagonist's Italian family choosing to speak in English because they're anticipating American guests) but this one handwaves the issue until it's a borderline plot hole. * Recap.AsterixAndTheGoths: Getafix is able to speak fluent Gothic, despite being a Gaulish druid who has no logical reason to know it (especially considering how antagonistic the Goths are in this story). * Recap.FriendsS5E19TheOneWhereRossCantFlirt: Phoebe speaks with Joey's Italian grandmother, with [[InexplicableLanguageFluency Phoebe seeming as surprised about this as Joey]]. '''Joey:''' Wow, Phoebs, you speak Italian?\\ '''Phoebe:''' Apparently. * Recap.TalesFromTheDarksideS4E6TheGraveRobber: Aileen is surprised to hear Tapok speaking English when he wakes up, the mummy giving an offhand mention that he can speak the language of anyone who violates the tomb. * Roleplay.WanyaKingdomVSAwoofyUnity: Fragment has been shown to speak any language even if he has never heard it before. * Series.{{Llanargollen}}: In "Dirgelwch y Llyfr Coll", Prys and Barti speak to each other in Swahili. It seems incredibly unlikely that Prys would be fluent in that language, and Barti only speaks in unintelligible grunts with individual words thrown in. The other characters barely react to this. * VideoGame.EternalReturnBlackSurvival: The test subjects are able to work together with each other in spite of how one would presume that the vast majority of them would be completely unable to verbally communicate with most of the others. {{Averted}} by some of the achievement lore entries, which include statements observed from test subjects that some of which have a note underneath which states the words were translated by AI and will be reviewed and localized further in the future. '''Since this seems to be an implied example rather than a straight example, and it seems to be ambiguous InUniverse whether it's this or BilingualDialogue, I'll leave it here.''' * VideoGame.MegaManBattleNetwork2?: [=MegaMan=]'s translation system allows Lan to speak flawless Netopian after they arrive in Netopia. * WesternAnimation.{{Pocahontas}}: English explorer John Smith meets the alluring Pocahontas of the Powhatan tribe. Smith doesn't know her language, nor she his. That is, until Pocahontas takes a breath of magic wind. Suddenly, her English is better than his. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Aversions (1/50)]] * DarthWiki.{{Aquilaverse}}: ''Averted'' Not inexplicable, since her spell "Xenographus" let's her read any language she encounters for a limited duration. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Unclear (4/50)]] * Characters.FrightKrewe: His power makes him this. He has the ability to communicate with anyone and understand anything they say, whether its a [[InexplicableLanguageFluency person]], an [[SpeaksFluentAnimal animal]], or an [[NatureSpirit 'elemental entity']]. '''The way the example is written, it's not clear whether it's this or BilingualDialogue.''' * Recap.CreepshowS1E3BadWolfDown: Doc is shown to speak French and understands the language quite fluently, allowing him to translate the explanation of the werewolf woman's plight. '''You can't "understand a language fluently". Does he ''speak'' it fluently, or at least speak it better than he should realistically be able to?''' * Series.AlloAllo: Frenchmen, Germans, and Italians can talk to each other. This is never explained. '''In their own languages, or...?''' * WesternAnimation.SpaceChimps: The [[SpeaksFluentAnimal aliens]] and [[InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien chimps]] understand each other, despite that the chimps have just arrived on their planet. '''Does one of them speak the other's language, or do they just understand each other's languages?''' [[/folder]]
!!!'''Characters being able to understand a language without demonstrating fluency (24/50) 12%''' [[folder:Amplified Animal Aptitude (7/50) '''3.5%''']] * Literature.MrsFrisbyAndTheRatsOfNIMH: The animals can understand humans and each other, but can't talk to humans. This leads to a bit of FridgeLogic as to where exactly all these animals picked up English (justified for the rats, as they were taught it in the lab, but not for any of the others), and whether they can understand other human languages automatically as well. * Recap.TheSimpsonsS6E6TreehouseOfHorrorV: When Homer is sent back in time to a prehistoric era, and has to avoid stepping on anything to change the future, he ends up swatting a mosquito then asks for reassurance that it won't change the future. He is understood despite being in an era before English existed, since a sloth behind him shrugs and grunts as if to say "I don't know." * TheSimpsons.TropesIToM: ** In "Treehouse of Horror V", when Homer is sent back in time to a prehistoric era, and has to avoid stepping on anything to change the future, he ends up swatting a mosquito then asks for reassurance that it won't change the future. He is understood despite being in an era before English existed, since a sloth behind him shrugs and grunts as if to say "I don't know." '''Just checked and the sloth doesn’t say “I don’t know”, it just grunts with an intonation that indicates that that’s what it was saying. So, not fluent in English.''' * Tarzan.TropesGToZ ** Played straight when Jane talks to a baby baboon and he understands her. * TotalDrama.TropesHToP: Some wild animals--especially squirrels--can understand humans. * WesternAnimation.FindingNemo: Dory understands English. The fish in the tank understand English because they've been hearing humans all their life, but there's no reason for Dory to understand English. [[spoiler:Subverted in that ''WesternAnimation/FindingDory'' reveals she was raised in a marine life institute in California.]] '''Since it says “understand” and not “speak” I can only assume this is a case of TranslationConvention and AnimalTalk, which means they aren’t actually fluent in English.''' * WesternAnimation.SpiritStallionOfTheCimarron: Spirit, despite not having had any human contact before his capture, understands what the human characters are saying. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Bilingual Dialogue (11/50)]] * Characters.MashupWeekMegamixCompetitors: Despite the fact that all 3 members speak different languages (English for Scoop, French for Eric and Italian for Baba), they can be understood by each other and by others easily. * Film.NoTimeToDie: James Bond's 5-year-old daughter, Mathilde, understands English even though her mother Madelaine speaks to her in French and all the media she consumes is in French. * Film.Titanic1997: Jack and the Swedish men understand each other well enough that Olaf is able to bet his tickets for all Jack and Fabrizio's money. * FinalFantasyXIV.TropesGToI?: ** In ''Heavensward'', the Warrior and Alphinaud are startled by how they can understand the great wyrm Hraesvelgr, who only speaks the language of dragons. They learn that while other races may not speak the dragon's language, the inherent power and magic in a dragon's song essentially beams meaning directly into the hearer's mind. ** The Scions are shocked in ''Shadowbringers'' when they meet [[spoiler:Emet-Selch's recreation of the lost city of Amaurot, the home of the BenevolentPrecursor race. Although the ancient version of mankind spoke only in a StarfishLanguage of droning tones, the Scions born millennia after the world was sundered find that they're able to discern meaning from it.]] * Literature.CookingWithWildGame: Lampshaded. One of the few supernatural parts of the setting is that [[TrappedInAnotherWorld Asuta]] can understand its inhabitants' language (almost) perfectly. Nobody knows why, nor do they ever find out; it's essentially one of the AcceptableBreaksFromReality needed to get the plot going. * Literature.{{Fablehaven}}: After receiving magic from fairies, Kendra gains the ability to interpret their language intuitively despite never actually learning it. * Manga.MiriyaAndMarie: Aside of occasional GratuitousFrench, Miriya can understand all French and animal characters and vice versa. Blackey also tries to charge Miriya for massage in yen despite being French. * VideoGame.KnightsOfTheOldRepublic: Yes, your character understands plenty of languages, but there isn't anyone who ''should'' understand the language of the AbusivePrecursors. [[spoiler: Subverted. Turns out you'd been there before and learned the language, but just forgotten the whole thing between Malak's backstab and whatever the Jedi did to "rebuild" you]]. '''When moving this to BilingualDialogue, I would rewrite it as “Your character understands plenty of languages, but can only speak one.''' * WebOriginal.MashupWeek: In both tournaments, Flat Eric speaks French, but everyone can understand him perfectly. Same with Gigi, who speaks Italian. * WesternAnimation.JosieAndThePussycats: ''[[RecycledWithAGimmick In Outer Space]]'' has Melody encounter an alien creature that looks like cotton candy with eyes and flippers. The critter speaks in a series of bleeps, and Melody names him Bleep. [[InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien She can also understand him perfectly, and acts as translator for everyone else]]. Also, Bleep seems to understand English just fine. '''I also think InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien should be limited to people actually speaking Alien instead of just understanding it, but that’s for another time.''' [[/folder]]
[[folder:Other (6/50)]] * Characters.InfinityTrainSeekerOfCrocusMultiverse: Upon looking at some files from the old phone Oscar picked up, he's somehow able to read ''Aztec glyphs'' just by looking at it. [[spoiler:This is probably due to his covenant with Agares, as one of Agares' ability is to let his conjurer read and understand different languages.]] * Fanfic.InfinityTrainSeekerOfCrocus: Kaito is somehow able to read ''Aztec glyphs'' just by looking at it. [[spoiler:This is probably due to his covenant with Agares, as one of Agares' ability is to let his conjurer read and understand different languages.]] * Characters.YaBoyKongming: ** Kongming also demonstrates an ability to understand English, as he is able to tell that the English song Eiko sings to him is a love song, with enough comprehension to be moved by a vision of his old comrades due to the lyrics referencing being still alive and alone. Later, upon meeting Tsuyoshi Kondo after Eiko's performance at the Yoyogi Art Festival, Kongming easily translates his GratuitousEnglish for a confused Kobayashi, and he's even become friends with a foreigner in Roppongi, who speaks exclusively in English. He's capable of some GratuitousEnglish himself, to boot. * Recap/CreepshowS2E2PublicTelevisionOfTheDead: Goodman reveals to Ted, out of nowhere, that he can read Sumerian, allowing him to translate the Necronomicon's incantations and let Evil roam free once again. * Series.{{Carnivale}}: During the fireball show, Samson secretly passes an old Crusader fob up to the stage during Lodz's psychometry act. When Lodz touches it, he's struck by visions of a holy war and begins chanting ''"In hoc signo vinces!"'' Ben, an uneducated farmboy, surprises Samson by translating even though he doesn't even recognize the language is Latin: '''Ben Hawkins:''' By this sign we conquer... by this sign we conquer... * WesternAnimation.SpaceChimps2ZartogStrikesBack: Zartog understands the humans, despite having just arrived on Earth. He even understands Spanish, Hindi, and Xhosa upon hearing them for the first time, making the humans' inability to understand him even more hilarious. [[/folder]]

Just copy this, paste this into a sandbox, then make a thread in the Trope Repair Shop linking to it. The thread shall be titled "Needs Help: Inexplicable Language Fluency".
A wick check for InexplicableLanguageFluency.
'''Why?''': InexplicableLanguageFluency seems to lump in examples of characters demonstrating fluency in a language they've never learned with examples of characters merely understanding a language they never learned. For one, it doesn't make sense for the latter examples to be there since the title has the word "fluency" in it. Secondly, many of the latter examples can be moved to BilingualDialogue or AmplifiedAnimalAptitude.
'''Wicks checked''': 50/72
'''Wick totals''':
* 21/50 wicks, or 11.5%, were clear examples of a character demonstrating fluency in a language they never learned. * 24/50 wicks, or 12% were examples of a character understanding a language without demonstrating fluency. * 4/50 wicks, or 2%, were written in a way that made it unclear whether they were being used correctly. * 1/50 wicks, or 1.5%, was an aversion.
[[folder:Characters demonstrating fluency in a language they never learned (21/50)]] * Characters.AtlantisTheLostEmpire: The Atlanteans are able to fluently communicate with the explorers from the surface in English and French. This is handwaved as their own language being a precursor to all other languages. * Characters.YaBoyKongming: ** Kongming finds himself immediately fluent in Japanese despite having never learned the language, and the Japan of his era was still a dwarf country that mostly only sent envoys to Shu's rival kingdom of Wei. Eiko points out the absurdity of how an ancient Chinese figure can suddenly speak Japanese, and Kongming himself is at a loss of how he can do this. * Characters.YellowjacketsCrashSurvivors: [[spoiler:She, and by extension others in the Antler Queen cult she forms, randomly speak French on occasion, which Lottie at least is ''not'' fluent in, indicating mental instability.]] '''If this is supposed to be an inversion, it's correct, but it should be rewritten to mention that it's an inversion.''' * ComicBook.Asterix: Gauls can speak to most foreign peoples without any difficulty. Either everyone can speak Gaulish, or the Gauls can speak other languages, but either way is downright impossible. * ComicBook.UltimateFantasticFour: ** Downplayed. Namor demonstrates this trope after spending nine thousand years of being sealed inside a sarcophagus prison. Being from an ancient civilization of Atlantis that predates the modern English language, he initially has no idea what his new captors are saying when they find him. However, thanks to his psionic powers he proves to be a frighteningly fast learner and is able to learn English within an hour to understand modern American English and casually deliver threats and demands. ** Happens again when the Four meets the Silver Surfer who is able to understand English perfectly the instant he arrives to Earth for the first time. He justifies this by stating can decipher electromagnetic signals in the air to learn alien tongues in seconds. * Friends.TropesFToJ: Zig-zagged. "The One Where Ross Can't Flirt" has her speaking with Joey's Italian grandmother, with Phoebe seeming as surprised about this as Joey. But in an earlier episode, Rachel's former lover Paulo calls her "bellissima" and she doesn't understand. ->'''Joey:''' Wow, Phoebs, you speak Italian?\\ '''Phoebe:''' Apparently. * Film.ExorcistTheBeginning: In-universe, the main characters note Cheche's sudden fluency in English after being brought to the hospital. Of course this is because it is Pazuzu speaking through him and not actually Cheche. '''This is DiscussedTrope, not InUniverse'''. * Film.{{Phenomenon}}: Downplayed. After a UFO encounter, George gains a form of superintelligence where he can learn complicated tasks and subjects quickly, to the point where he's able to fluently speak Portuguese after reading an English-to-Portuguese dictionary for twenty minutes. This was foreshadowed in an earlier scene where after usually fumbling to speak Spanish, he's suddenly able to speak it perfectly, to the point that his Hispanic coworker half-seriously declares that it's better than his. * Literature.ForgottenRuin: When Talker and Vandahar speak during the final stretch to the Hidden Cave, Vandahar speaks in what we would recognize as modern German, which of course makes communicating with him very easy for Talker but raises a few questions. * Literature.InCryptid: Of the GeneticMemory version. When Candice the Dragon Princess comes up against the LizardFolk wandering about the New York sewers, she's able to make them halt using a guttural language. She reveals to Verity that it's a inborn language all Princesses know and something the "Servitors" are meant to respond to. She's also never used it before as Servitors can only be created from a [[spoiler:living male dragon]]. * Literature.SeasonalFears: Aven is essentially in a coma all her life but, thanks to the alchemical knowledge tinctures of her father', she speaks perfect English even if there are some issues with definitions. * Literature.ShiversMDSpenser: Bubbie moves to France with her family and meets a new French kid, Jean-Luc, and can somehow converse with him without any language issues; at the end of the story she can hold a long conversation with a stranger in French, despite spending less than a week in the country. Previous books with an overseas setting will at least attempt justifying this trope (for instance, ''Terror on Troll Mountain'' has the protagonist's Italian family choosing to speak in English because they're anticipating American guests) but this one handwaves the issue until it's a borderline plot hole. * Recap.AsterixAndTheGoths: Getafix is able to speak fluent Gothic, despite being a Gaulish druid who has no logical reason to know it (especially considering how antagonistic the Goths are in this story). * Recap.FriendsS5E19TheOneWhereRossCantFlirt: Phoebe speaks with Joey's Italian grandmother, with [[InexplicableLanguageFluency Phoebe seeming as surprised about this as Joey]]. '''Joey:''' Wow, Phoebs, you speak Italian?\\ '''Phoebe:''' Apparently. * Recap.TalesFromTheDarksideS4E6TheGraveRobber: Aileen is surprised to hear Tapok speaking English when he wakes up, the mummy giving an offhand mention that he can speak the language of anyone who violates the tomb. * Roleplay.WanyaKingdomVSAwoofyUnity: Fragment has been shown to speak any language even if he has never heard it before. * Series.{{Llanargollen}}: In "Dirgelwch y Llyfr Coll", Prys and Barti speak to each other in Swahili. It seems incredibly unlikely that Prys would be fluent in that language, and Barti only speaks in unintelligible grunts with individual words thrown in. The other characters barely react to this. * VideoGame.EternalReturnBlackSurvival: The test subjects are able to work together with each other in spite of how one would presume that the vast majority of them would be completely unable to verbally communicate with most of the others. {{Averted}} by some of the achievement lore entries, which include statements observed from test subjects that some of which have a note underneath which states the words were translated by AI and will be reviewed and localized further in the future. '''Since this seems to be an implied example rather than a straight example, and it seems to be ambiguous InUniverse whether it's this or BilingualDialogue, I'll leave it here.''' * VideoGame.MegaManBattleNetwork2?: [=MegaMan=]'s translation system allows Lan to speak flawless Netopian after they arrive in Netopia. * WesternAnimation.{{Pocahontas}}: English explorer John Smith meets the alluring Pocahontas of the Powhatan tribe. Smith doesn't know her language, nor she his. That is, until Pocahontas takes a breath of magic wind. Suddenly, her English is better than his. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Aversions (1/50)]] * DarthWiki.{{Aquilaverse}}: ''Averted'' Not inexplicable, since her spell "Xenographus" let's her read any language she encounters for a limited duration. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Unclear (4/50)]] * Characters.FrightKrewe: His power makes him this. He has the ability to communicate with anyone and understand anything they say, whether its a [[InexplicableLanguageFluency person]], an [[SpeaksFluentAnimal animal]], or an [[NatureSpirit 'elemental entity']]. '''The way the example is written, it's not clear whether it's this or BilingualDialogue.''' * Recap.CreepshowS1E3BadWolfDown: Doc is shown to speak French and understands the language quite fluently, allowing him to translate the explanation of the werewolf woman's plight. '''You can't "understand a language fluently". Does he ''speak'' it fluently, or at least speak it better than he should realistically be able to?''' * Series.AlloAllo: Frenchmen, Germans, and Italians can talk to each other. This is never explained. '''In their own languages, or...?''' * WesternAnimation.SpaceChimps: The [[SpeaksFluentAnimal aliens]] and [[InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien chimps]] understand each other, despite that the chimps have just arrived on their planet. '''Does one of them speak the other's language, or do they just understand each other's languages?''' [[/folder]]
!!!'''Characters being able to understand a language without demonstrating fluency (24/50) 12%''' [[folder:Amplified Animal Aptitude (7/50) '''3.5%''']] * Literature.MrsFrisbyAndTheRatsOfNIMH: The animals can understand humans and each other, but can't talk to humans. This leads to a bit of FridgeLogic as to where exactly all these animals picked up English (justified for the rats, as they were taught it in the lab, but not for any of the others), and whether they can understand other human languages automatically as well. * Recap.TheSimpsonsS6E6TreehouseOfHorrorV: When Homer is sent back in time to a prehistoric era, and has to avoid stepping on anything to change the future, he ends up swatting a mosquito then asks for reassurance that it won't change the future. He is understood despite being in an era before English existed, since a sloth behind him shrugs and grunts as if to say "I don't know." * TheSimpsons.TropesIToM: ** In "Treehouse of Horror V", when Homer is sent back in time to a prehistoric era, and has to avoid stepping on anything to change the future, he ends up swatting a mosquito then asks for reassurance that it won't change the future. He is understood despite being in an era before English existed, since a sloth behind him shrugs and grunts as if to say "I don't know." '''Just checked and the sloth doesn’t say “I don’t know”, it just grunts with an intonation that indicates that that’s what it was saying. So, not fluent in English.''' * Tarzan.TropesGToZ ** Played straight when Jane talks to a baby baboon and he understands her. * TotalDrama.TropesHToP: Some wild animals--especially squirrels--can understand humans. * WesternAnimation.FindingNemo: Dory understands English. The fish in the tank understand English because they've been hearing humans all their life, but there's no reason for Dory to understand English. [[spoiler:Subverted in that ''WesternAnimation/FindingDory'' reveals she was raised in a marine life institute in California.]] '''Since it says “understand” and not “speak” I can only assume this is a case of TranslationConvention and AnimalTalk, which means they aren’t actually fluent in English.''' * WesternAnimation.SpiritStallionOfTheCimarron: Spirit, despite not having had any human contact before his capture, understands what the human characters are saying. [[/folder]]
[[folder:Bilingual Dialogue (11/50)]] * Characters.MashupWeekMegamixCompetitors: Despite the fact that all 3 members speak different languages (English for Scoop, French for Eric and Italian for Baba), they can be understood by each other and by others easily. * Film.NoTimeToDie: James Bond's 5-year-old daughter, Mathilde, understands English even though her mother Madelaine speaks to her in French and all the media she consumes is in French. * Film.Titanic1997: Jack and the Swedish men understand each other well enough that Olaf is able to bet his tickets for all Jack and Fabrizio's money. * FinalFantasyXIV.TropesGToI?: ** In ''Heavensward'', the Warrior and Alphinaud are startled by how they can understand the great wyrm Hraesvelgr, who only speaks the language of dragons. They learn that while other races may not speak the dragon's language, the inherent power and magic in a dragon's song essentially beams meaning directly into the hearer's mind. ** The Scions are shocked in ''Shadowbringers'' when they meet [[spoiler:Emet-Selch's recreation of the lost city of Amaurot, the home of the BenevolentPrecursor race. Although the ancient version of mankind spoke only in a StarfishLanguage of droning tones, the Scions born millennia after the world was sundered find that they're able to discern meaning from it.]] * Literature.CookingWithWildGame: Lampshaded. One of the few supernatural parts of the setting is that [[TrappedInAnotherWorld Asuta]] can understand its inhabitants' language (almost) perfectly. Nobody knows why, nor do they ever find out; it's essentially one of the AcceptableBreaksFromReality needed to get the plot going. * Literature.{{Fablehaven}}: After receiving magic from fairies, Kendra gains the ability to interpret their language intuitively despite never actually learning it. * Manga.MiriyaAndMarie: Aside of occasional GratuitousFrench, Miriya can understand all French and animal characters and vice versa. Blackey also tries to charge Miriya for massage in yen despite being French. * VideoGame.KnightsOfTheOldRepublic: Yes, your character understands plenty of languages, but there isn't anyone who ''should'' understand the language of the AbusivePrecursors. [[spoiler: Subverted. Turns out you'd been there before and learned the language, but just forgotten the whole thing between Malak's backstab and whatever the Jedi did to "rebuild" you]]. '''When moving this to BilingualDialogue, I would rewrite it as “Your character understands plenty of languages, but can only speak one.''' * WebOriginal.MashupWeek: In both tournaments, Flat Eric speaks French, but everyone can understand him perfectly. Same with Gigi, who speaks Italian. * WesternAnimation.JosieAndThePussycats: ''[[RecycledWithAGimmick In Outer Space]]'' has Melody encounter an alien creature that looks like cotton candy with eyes and flippers. The critter speaks in a series of bleeps, and Melody names him Bleep. [[InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien She can also understand him perfectly, and acts as translator for everyone else]]. Also, Bleep seems to understand English just fine. '''I also think InexplicablySpeaksFluentAlien should be limited to people actually speaking Alien instead of just understanding it, but that’s for another time.''' [[/folder]]
[[folder:Other (6/50)]] * Characters.InfinityTrainSeekerOfCrocusMultiverse: Upon looking at some files from the old phone Oscar picked up, he's somehow able to read ''Aztec glyphs'' just by looking at it. [[spoiler:This is probably due to his covenant with Agares, as one of Agares' ability is to let his conjurer read and understand different languages.]] * Fanfic.InfinityTrainSeekerOfCrocus: Kaito is somehow able to read ''Aztec glyphs'' just by looking at it. [[spoiler:This is probably due to his covenant with Agares, as one of Agares' ability is to let his conjurer read and understand different languages.]] * Characters.YaBoyKongming: ** Kongming also demonstrates an ability to understand English, as he is able to tell that the English song Eiko sings to him is a love song, with enough comprehension to be moved by a vision of his old comrades due to the lyrics referencing being still alive and alone. Later, upon meeting Tsuyoshi Kondo after Eiko's performance at the Yoyogi Art Festival, Kongming easily translates his GratuitousEnglish for a confused Kobayashi, and he's even become friends with a foreigner in Roppongi, who speaks exclusively in English. He's capable of some GratuitousEnglish himself, to boot. * Recap/CreepshowS2E2PublicTelevisionOfTheDead: Goodman reveals to Ted, out of nowhere, that he can read Sumerian, allowing him to translate the Necronomicon's incantations and let Evil roam free once again. * Series.{{Carnivale}}: During the fireball show, Samson secretly passes an old Crusader fob up to the stage during Lodz's psychometry act. When Lodz touches it, he's struck by visions of a holy war and begins chanting ''"In hoc signo vinces!"'' Ben, an uneducated farmboy, surprises Samson by translating even though he doesn't even recognize the language is Latin: '''Ben Hawkins:''' By this sign we conquer... by this sign we conquer... * WesternAnimation.SpaceChimps2ZartogStrikesBack: Zartog understands the humans, despite having just arrived on Earth. He even understands Spanish, Hindi, and Xhosa upon hearing them for the first time, making the humans' inability to understand him even more hilarious. [[/folder]]

Hello
I'm in process of signing an employment contract for a developer job and I'm planning to contact an IP Lawyer about this on Monday (or do you think an employment lawyer is also okay?)
Here's the clause:

All worldwide rights in respect of works, inventions, (... bunch of other stuff, all related to what I do and want to protect) (also referred to below as "Intellectual Property") that Employee created, independently or not, will be transferred to [COMPANY], whether or not it was created during the term of the employment contract, and also regardless of whether creating the Intellectual Property is directly or indirectly related to Employee's duties.

So I challenged this, saying this doesn't have a deadline, no context limitation and is overreaching beyond my potential employment. The response I got was something along the lines of "yes but we won't go after the content that is rightfully yours, we want to protect the work and company sensitive information for the work you do in the future that may use knowledge derived from your employment here". Protecting derivatives from "what I may have learned" this way feels like saying "oh you learned a specific way to hold a pen in our office, now we own every brush stroke you do" (analogy and dramatic example, I know) That just leaves me to trust their word and after signing this the line that separates what's mine and what's theirs kinda blurs out for an indefinite time, no?
They're also offering a different agreement for additional activities, I don't know the contents of that agreement but I do believe it waives these IP stuff for that. However, being a dev and being capable of doing lots of other things (especially after the employment ends) I don't think this is the right solution here
I've been in many companies and have read all the IP clauses, also read horror stories online but I've never seen one so overreaching especially beyond the employment duration without any context limitation. What they're saying makes sense to some degree but at the same time it feels completely crazy
In a sense this feels like, say I take this job and leave after a year. This clause says the X thing I start creating 5 years later is potentially still theirs? It sounds unreasonable and unenforceable?
Let me know if I'm making an insanely big deal out of this, ideally I don't want to let this opportunity go away but I don't want to get myself into a neverending legal chokehold because of this thing
PS: This is under Dutch law

When I was little maybe about 7 or so my dad and I used an Ouija board and talked to a lady in his room. We then went to bed (I slept in his bed) the next morning I woke up to see my father on the other side of the room. He looked at me and told me he was headed to the kitchen and asked if I wanted anything to which I replied “I want an apple” he responded with something along the lines of okay and he’ll be back and then he walked towards the door which was closed and when he got to the door he just faded towards the door. I was confused and at that moment I heard behind me “are you okay?” I turned around and it was my dad still in bed asking why I was talking to myself. I was confused and tried to explain to him what happened and he just brushed it off. Can somebody explain to me what happened that day. Was I just sleepy and seeing things?

Hey all,
I recently went through the interviews at Meta. Whilst I cannot share the exact questions they asked, I wanted to share my experience on a higher level to give everyone an idea what to look out for and also what the current situation is.
First off, the recruiter reached out to me in March and explained the open roles as well as expectations. She was extremely thorough and advised me to go for an IC track (E6). In the end, she set up a screen call for early April.
The screening went well. I believe I saw one of the questions on Leetcode a while ago, but not the other. Either way, I had to find the solutions myself and managed to do so - but only one of them optimally. The second task required a few hints by the interviewer. Naturally, after the call, I was extremely nervous because I felt like I have not met the expectation of a "perfect" performance.
Thankfully, the feedback was positive. The recruiter told me that whilst the solution could have been slightly more efficient, the overall thinking, problem solving and collaboration with the interviewer made up for it. I therefore passed to the second round, which was scheduled for early May. At this point I was connected with another recruiter, who again was absolutely amazing at walking me through the process and providing me with guidance on how to prepare.
I followed her advice and to give myself 100% focus time on this went for a week to Spain to prepare for the onsite interviews (and get some sun in the process). It was a great decision because it allowed me to remain productive, without being distracted. My reading list included both System Design books my Alex Xu as well as other resources I was recommended, Cracking the Coding Interview, Hackerrank and Leetcode.
Unfortunately, I got a little bit unlucky. Neither of my system design interviews, nor any of my coding interviews were exactly like the ones I have seen before (at least I could not recall them). That said, preparing on leetcode and reading the books definitely allowed me to see the bigger picture. Thinking out loud, weighing up different solutions, proposing an idea and the backtracking to another, better idea I slowly zig-zagged my way to something that met the expectations. I believe to have solved 3 out of 4 tasks optimally, and one of them correctly but not optimally. This is a bit unfortunate because the one I could not solve well is a very popular Meta task as I found out later.
I was naturally very nervous after the interviews and also had some regrets. "Should I have memorised optimal solutions better?", "Should I have googled what popular Meta system design questions are?" etc. The fact that I was promised feedback within a week but received none made this worse.
Finally, 12 days post interview the recruiter called me back to say that... I passed. But they decided that E6 is a bit too much and so instead they believe I am an E5, citing my performance during the system design stage.
At this moment in time I am in the team matching stage in London, which by the sounds of it unfortunantely may take a while. This team matching step takes some momentum out of things. I'd like to celebrate the successful interview, but I can't really because the process isn't over yet, is it. Oh well, fingers crossed :)
If there is anything to take away from this, it is this:

1. You do not need to perform perfectly well. In fact, I would argue that some imperfection and some need to think and weigh up between different alternatives as well as engaging with the interviewer is good.
2. Do by all means read up on distributed systems and make sure you know the trades offs when it comes to important design choices like communication protocols and databases. I could have done better here, to be honest. Also, engage with the interviewer and try see the hints they're trying to make. One of my interviewers gave me a hint for the coding task I did not solve optimally, and I failed to register it.
3. Do by all means try and use the resources available, such as leetcode or anything else the recruiter recommends.
4. Finally, the process does not end with the full-loop. There is another hurdle to overcome, which is team-matching. I will report more on this as soon as I can.

Also, for context:
YOE: 9
Currently in finance, TC £180k
Any questions, let me know :)

So this might come out a little sporadic but I'm typing as it the conversations come out. Also on mobile apologies for format. Also I've tried to talk to them about my wife's feelings about being here but they brush it off and said well suck it up.
So after struggling to keep up with rent our landlord said to have 1300 by last friday or be gone. We had no way of coming up with 1300 in 5 days (she told us the monday of that week). So we told her we would be gone so we started packing. Called my parents to see if we could temporarily move in with them and they said yes, it should be noted they have spent the better part this year pushing to have me, my wife and our daughter move in with them rent free. My wife and I are both pretty private so the thought of living with other people was too much even if it was family. Being our only choice I had to reach out, we spent monday afternoon through Wednesday night packing our home of 3.5 years. They came down thursday and we started loading the truck (just my wife and i) while they kept our daughter busy. After the truck is loaded and they have our mattress and a few other items loaded in their truck they take us out to eat, we then take the truck to the storage unit, unload and make our way to their house 2.5 hours away.
My parents and I have a semi strenuous relationship, being they like to control and guilt trip me since I'm a only child and my dad is now disabled. Their on fixed income. My wife and I spent the better part of the next 4 days applying for jobs through various job websites. It's been fine up until Tuesday when we head 45 minutes away to the nearest town with staffing agencies. We fill out info and were told to wait for a call. That was about 3 or 4 hours, knowing we did all we could we headed back. We get back to my parents house(really a trailer on some land) the first thing out of my moms mouth was "yall are back already. I figured you would make a day of it" mind you we've been applying online to anything and everything but so far no calls. As I've already checked the jobs in town (as small as it is) only accept online applications, it's not like we could fill out paper ones and et hired on the spot. My wife and I spend the rest of the day in our room still applying for what we can find. My parents want us to sit out in the living room with them, we do for a little bit until it's time to put our daughter to sleep.
Wednesday comes and it goes pretty much like tuesday, along with the sly comments when we get back, except this time we head another 30 minutes away to another town and we have a interview set for this coming monday.
Thursday comes and we dont go out because we've already hit the staffing agencies even remotely close to us, which any job we get requires up to a hour of driving one way. Now this trailer is hoooot and the ac doesnt work all that well on our side so my dad and I take a window unit out of his work shed and fit it in the window of our room. All that was said before we spent half a day getting to this point was any extra electricity we use we would pay the difference, that was fine with me. My parents are older and get cold easily so setting the ac temperature to 78 is normal for them but again the ac sucks on our side and we're sweating our asses off the previous nights.
Meanwhile they have been pressuring us to spend our free time in the living room to watch movies with them, while they have their faces buried in their phones and not paying any attention to anything else.
So now its Friday, exactly 1 week from our first full day out here. We're down to 1 vehicles right now and the engine temp gauge starts going out as we ran into town for baby stuff. We make it home and I noticed I missed a call from my mom. I call her back and she asks where we are at, I said we just got back because the car was acting up. " well I thought yall would he out applying for jobs" I said again we've been applying for jobs for a week now. "Well you need to figure something out soon especially since your car is messing up". So then I spend the next 4 hours helping my dad around the property and listen to him complain that we've been using too much electricity with the window unit and they cant afford a $500 electric bill. We've kept the ac at 70 and it barely comes on with 2 fans going. We have a 2 year old and she doesnt need to be sweating in her sleep. I say ok and try to move on. After taking a shower and laying down to rest I get up and grab some leftovers from the previous night. Now before I continue I should mention that when I was still living at home while my wife and started dating, my parents would ambush me after getting home with 2 or 3 hour discussions on how my behavior is unacceptable. Meaning me going out with my girlfriend at the time, now wife and walking through the park after work or going on a date on our days off. This continued until we moved in together. Even me moving out was a problem when I didnt want to take towels and cookware with me because we already bought some. They always guilt trip me into helping them with something. Now after a 1.5 years of my wife and I living together my parents lost their house(my mom didnt tell my dad until a week before they had to leave) she knew for a while but never got a job or asked for help. So my wife and I got 1k each loans from work to help them move(which they have paid back) but then spent the next 3 days helping them move 20 years worth of living 2.5 hours away.
My wife has tried to get along with them but they just rub her the wrong way with comments, behavior and attitudes.
But now we have a kid so I feel compelled to go out there as often as possible so they can spend time with their grandchild.
Now cut to friday(yesterday now) and I'm heating up leftovers. As soon as I set my bowl on the table they come sit down, oh joy another round table discussion. They start off with how we sleep in too late(9 or 10am is too late I guess) we dont spend time with them, also a lie because we spent 6 hours in the living room the day before and they barely acknowledged us, we dont seem to be doing anything. Also a lie, coming straight from their mouths, they dont believe we have been putting any effort to find a job since we dont do it in the living room and tell them watch what yall want we're putting in applications. I cannot make this up. How I have to ask if they need any chores or anything done around the house to help out. Also a lie because I ask do you need help with dinner, do you need help with cleaning up, and my dad has been asking for my help for every little job he wants to do around the house. I may be your child but I'm not a child. They dont like how we sit in our room, for maybe half a day, I've spent more time doing shit around the house or looking for a job than I have spent chilling with my wife and daughter. How we dont seem to have a plan and their not going to be paying our way, now mind you they've been hounding us to move in, we have to find jobs, shit doesnt come by easily anymore. One thing they kept saying before was yall dont have to come in the living room with us, you can come and go as you please, that was bullshit. As far as places reaching out to us for interviews it's only been 5 business days since we've been here, between the 2 of us we have nearly 150 applications out and nearly all of those are 45-1.5hrs away. We do have 2 interviews set for monday.
So they wait until I've sat down to eat since I've been busy all day and haven't eaten to ambush me again with a talk. They love to control me by guilt, before it was fine because it was just me dealing with them since my wife refuses to play their games but now your trying to do this shit in front of my wife and daughter.
Side note I told my mom not to feed our daughter with her spoon the night before, " well we've been doing you just havent been here to see it" and continued to do it. I started to raise my voice but my wife shook her head no.
Where did all the promises before go to? Why is it now we're just lazy bums sleeping all day(lie). I have a plan, I know what I need to do, as I'm telling them this I get the "dont be so defensive"line. I'm not being defensive, I'm telling you we have interviews set and applications out, it's a waiting game. Anytime in that discussion I say something that disproves what their saying they turn it around to well that's not the point that's exactly the point, what I said proves that your talking out your ass but you sont see it that way. Earlier in the day for the 3rd time in 2 days they berate me about the extra electricity. Why offer to have a window unit put in if you sidnt expect us to use it. We're not talking 60 degrees 24/7. 70 at night(which is still hot in the room but bearable and off during the day.
Also my wife doesnt feel comfortable eating around people, so really the only time she eats is dinner at the table(mandatory apparently) or if I bring food in the room, with my parents behavior its makes her uncomfortable to be out in the living room(where the spend nearly all day) to grab a snack. I get it, your in someone else's house you dont want to dig around the fridge. So now my wife is barely eating.
I've been trying to keep a relationship going for the sake of my daughter but this shit is the last straw. I feel like your trying to drive a wedge between my wife and I(like they've been trying to under the guise of have we want to spend time with yall but making sly comments to piss us off) my wife is ready to leave and I'm with her. I cant do this game with them anymore.
Yall offer help with one hand and have a knife in the other. Everything has strings attached to it.
Over the years my dad has giving me some thing she doesnt use anymore. A old laptop (by today's standards but usable) Xbox one which I still use A old digital camera Old tablet with cracked screen Set of battery powered drills(heavily used) These are the only items they bring up and ask if I still have them or I sold them. They are all in storage, I should know by now any gift will be used against me later on by accusing me of selling them.
So now I'm on reddit after my wife and I talking about the entire week, 1 week, 7 days of being here. Until she fell asleep about 1am. I'm still up pissed off and typing this. I'm not sure what to do, we talked about gettig 2 checks and getting a pay by the week hotel to get out of here quickly or try to deal with it for 2 months until we save enough to rent a place(security and at least 2 months rent)
I'm ready to ghost them and move on, my behavior is suddenly a problem when it doesnt involve them.
Side side note, for our daughters birthday we decided not to do a party and just the 3 of us go to zoo. We had a blast, lot of laughs and pictures, it was a great day until my dad took offense that he wasnt invited. Nobody wss invited because it was the 3 of us. But again everything has to be about them.
So thank you if you made it this far, I may add more as it comes to me but this is the basic idea of my situation.

Have loved reading Ben MacIntyre and have now finished all of his - ZigZag and Traitor being my personal favourites. Got a long holiday coming up in a few weeks and looking for recommendations!
TIA