Somehow couldn't post this in the Silksong subreddit, so im posting it here. This post is also in: https://www.reddit.com/toasttoast/comments/1d7i8no/the_silkenscript_a_verbal_and_logographic/
The Silkenscript(===== equal signs so the editing glitch doesn't happen).
A verbal and logographic language based on the game ‘’Hollow Knight: Silksong’’, and inspired by ‘’Hallowscript’’ founded by Anand_G and based on the game Hollow Knight(Once Silksong is released, the Silkenscript will probably be heavily remade).
Known Silkenspeak Letters: H, M, I, K, Y, E, N, O, A, D, S, R, T, Z, B, V, W.
Silkenspeak Dialects: Myrmian(Ant Tribe - No tablets or writings shown yet),
Translated Words: Dinando(Delicious),
Possible word meanings: Hikiyeno(‘’Hikiye’’ might mean sad, ‘’-no’’ might be a suffix for ‘’fallen from’’ or ‘’so’’),
Voicelines
Lace(Deep Docks: with Monarchflies) - Hm. Hikiyeno(‘’How sad. A little spider has fallen from its cage. So lost, so weak. Poor little morsel’’). Eaaa! Dinando(‘’Delicious! I like you already!’’).
Lace(Deep Docks: Boss Fight) - Hika!(Attacking Hornet with a flurry of strikes), Komad(After the strike flurry attack ends), Nis’hart! Kis’hart! Ha’niha(During the double-slash attack), Kideno!(Right before lunging), Kaniden!(Right before doing the jump then down-dash attack).
Lace(Flower Field: Boss Fight) - Ta! Hozhe(During the double-slash attack), Hm. Hreidin!(During the jump then down-dash attack).
Trobbio(Boss Fight) - Rrrrr’obbio!(During his ‘’expanding his wings’’ attack).
Shakra(Greymoor Encounter): Ha’shakra!(Upon approaching her).
Bell City Bugs(Reveal Trailer): Rivo’haaa, deindiyo’haaa!(Flying).
Garmond: Sanzi’baaaaaow!(Charging through enemies).
Citadel Knight(Boss Fight): Ha! Hido(Lunging at Hornet).
Notes: 1(Silkenspeakers may use musical notes, seen on a sign above the door of a bell city house, for their alphabet), 2(‘’T’’ in the Silkenscript may not be voiced at all, since not only do none of the known words have ‘’T’’ in them, but also because Trobbio shouts his name as ‘’Rrrrr’obbio!’’ instead of ‘’Trobbio!’’), 3(
A picture of all the symbols I have translated. The only one so far is ‘’Citadel’’.
A picture of one of the enemies, a member of the Citadel’s caste. The golden symbol on his head may mean ‘’Citadel’’, since not only does it look exactly like the very top of the Shining Citadel, but all enemies with this symbol are only found in the Shining Citadel. Four other known enemies bear this symbol: an unarmed ‘’Citadel Sentry’’, a pin-wielding ‘’Citadel Sentry’’, a scissor-slashing ‘’Citadel Sentry’’, and a winged pin-wielding ‘’Citadel Sentry’’.
A picture of two signs in the Deep Docks. These ones are pretty obvious; the arrow symbol means ‘’left’’ or possibly ‘’backwards’’, and the bench symbol means ‘’bench’’.
A picture of a room in the Deep Docks, including some signs scattered around as well as a Lore Tablet(the thing that’s glowing). The in-game english text of this Lore Tablet is ‘’At the seventh bell toll, send: Thirty measures, four beats Smokerock. Eight beats Sweetsmelt. Mark of fealty, all workers. At the ninth bell toll, send: Twenty measures, two beats Smokerock. Seven beats Sweetsmelt. Mark of fealty, all workers’’.
A picture from the Reveal Trailer, in the Forest of Bones. What the symbols may mean is currently unknown.
A picture from the Reveal Trailer, in an unnamed city called ‘’Bellheart’’ in the files.
A picture from the Reveal Trailer, in ‘’Bellheart’’. This sign seems to be a Quest Board, and those white symbols on a light-brown background may be Badges that you are awarded with.
A picture from the Reveal Trailer, in ‘’Bellheart’’. The symbols shown are on that bell house
A picture from the Reveal Trailer, in an unnamed city that looks like it's in or near the Shining Citadel. This is another example of the Quest Board. In the reveal trailer, some quests are shown after Hornet uses this board. The ones with an unshown description are: Haunted Gallery(Wayfarer), Glimmering Pearls(Gather), and Plumed Rhino(Grand Hunt). The ones with a shown description are: Mossberry Brew(Gather - Druid of the Moss Temple. ‘’Sweetness! Sourness! Bitterness! I need it all with hastiness! Cruel world, will you not provide me with the fruits I desire?’’), and Madness of the Pilgrims(Hunt - Grunby of Bonebottom. ‘’My family curse has struck again! Strange singing pilgrims have surrounded my old home, violently attacking me whenever I approach. Please, let this plague be lifted!’’).
A picture from the Reveal Trailer, in an unnamed area related to the Weavers. The red arrows point towards each shown symbol.
A picture from the Reveal Trailer, in the Wild Songshrine of the Deep Docks. This may be just a seal rather than part of the language of Pharloom.
A picture from the Reveal Trailer, in the Marrow(where you use the Bell Beast to travel places). The red arrow points towards the symbols on that bell.
A Presskit screenshot reveals the entirety of that bell, without any shade or effects.
A picture from one of the Xbox videos, with what is seemingly a lore tablet in an area that connects the Deep Docks and Far Fields. The middle symbols(the three circle things with dots inside of them) appear to be some kind of city.
A picture from the reveal/announcement trailer, in ‘’Bellheart’’. These symbols are what led me to the theory that Silkenspeakers may use symbols similar to music notes for their Alphabet.
A picture from the Nintendo Gameplay Demo, featuring a sign that leads to the Deep Docks Wild Songshrine.
A little glimpse of the seal over part of Hornet’s Cage in the Nintendo Treehouse Direct.
The seal over the top part of Hornet’s Cage, in the Nintendo Treehouse Direct.

I'm sorry but English isn't my first language.
Background story: I planned a trip to Disneyland Paris for more than 1 year, it was supposed to be a small and fun 4 days trip for me (29f), my mother (62) and my brother (17). We live together and support each other.
My younger brothers birthday was during this trip so it was also meant as his birthday gift.
We wanted to fully pamper ourselves after a row of sad impacts over the past years so I booked a big family club room (which could host 6 persons with 2 Queen beds and 2 sofa beds) and all inclusive perks. Everything was done and booked. (I paid about 1.800€ - 1.959$)
My sister (40) found out about the trip. Our mom asked her if she wants to tag along with my niece (3). My sister said she would think about it. I was fine with it cause we still had a bit more than 6 months till that trip so I told her that I could still include them to our room. She was fine with it.
Weeks went by and then suddenly 2 months before our trip she wanted to go but also include her husband (55). So I wanted to simply add the 2 adults and child to our room, the difference they had to pay would've been about 250€ (272$) but then my sister and brother in law insisted on having their own room.
I called the support and asked about booking changes. I was told that there were no free club rooms or standard rooms in our chosen hotel anymore. So I asked them to look for standard rooms in another hotel. The difference to pay was about 800€ (870$). I paid it because I knew my sisters family was struggling financially and told them the difference was 450€ (489$).
My sister knew it was way more than that cause she looked the prices up on the website beforehand and told me about their struggles and that it was too expensive for them. She also told me that they've already told my niece about going to 'minnie mouse land' and that the little girl was looking forward to see minnie mouse so I helped them out by lowering the amount for them to pay.
During the trip it was hell.
My sister and bil were constantly arguing. About everything.
They said they won't buy so much in the shops for my niece but ending up buying A LOT spending hundreds of euros. Well not my money and not my business but it was a strange feeling seeing them splurge money like this while I was told they were struggling financially.
Then they started to call us out for spending money on ourselves (mom bought a bag, a snowglobe and sunglasses, I bought 2 keychains, a snowglobe and a plush toy, my brother bought his girlfriend a bracelet) instead of buying nice things for my niece. It got to the point that my brother was afraid of spending his money on things for himself, sometimes when I saw that he wanted something I bought it for him. Causing my sister to make remarks about "how cute we were, like a married couple." (For context: my brother is the son my stepdad brought in from his previous marriage but for me it doesn#t matter he is my brother and his dad was my dad.) My sister always makes such remarks so we were used by it and just shrugged it off.
Then we found out that my bil got my brother drunk who is still a MINOR with not just beer but hard liquor and making my brother pay the drinks with his own pocketmoney and half-orphan's pension. He did all this behind my moms and my back under the guise of 'looking after him back at the hotel' so we could do 'lady stuff'. My mom was so pissed and told my sister that she doesn't want her husband being alone with her son anymore. My sisters opinion was that we were overreacting.
We stayed another day in paris and went to eat at a restaurant, my sister and bil chose a rather pricey one. We all ordered food, while me, my mom, brother and sister chose food at a reasonable price my bil chose the most expensive dish from the card plus a lot of beer. In the end they wanted me to pay half of the bill even if they spent more than us. I paid because arguing would've been embarassing and it was getting on my nerves.
On the day when we were heading back home I forgot to draw cash from the atm and my bil paid the restaurant bill. Afterwards he confronted me and wanted me to pay him back. To keep the peace till we were finally home I searched for the next atm and gave him 100 bucks.
The current situation:
Ever since that trip my sister texts me to join their trips to wherever they want to go and sends me the calculated costs expecting me to pay and babysit my niece during the trip so they can have some alone time.
It got to the point that I'm reluctant to visit them or let them visit me, to keep the 'peace' I always use work as an excuse and tell them I didn't get vacation during the time they want to go on trips.
Now they always say that I'm a bad aunt who doesn't care about my niece. We are family and should support each other. My sister always sends her daughter to me to ask if I can do this or that. Knowing it's harder to say no to a disappointed 3 year old on the verge of crying.
So am I the AH for telling them I can't go on these trips or even want them to visit me for the time being?

My English is not my first language so please excuse me if you see any mistaken.So me (14f) and my friend (15f) has been friends for over a year.She had been a good friend and so on her birthday and at 12am I woke up to sent a happy birthday message and also I put a story in insta for her after this I surprised her with a crochet totebag that I made by myself.So after all a couple of months later we had a huge fight(long story) in which we made up but after this fight we were not the same.After this whenever I sent a text it took her days before replying and when I leaved her on sent for a taste of her medicine,she blew up on me.My birthday was a few days ago and yk I was excited and all yk when she send me the happy birthday text at 12:00PM and her sister greeted me with a happy birthday message even before her so AITA for expecting the same effort.

Hello Pinball fans, Pinball FX received a hotfix today with the following fixes. We’ve done some maintenance on the new tables too - check them out they should play better than ever!
General Fixes
Vsync settings will return to ‘Off’ as a default - many of you who experienced performance dips after the last update should now return to normal
New notifications type - Once a friend beats your score in a tournament, you will be notified
Fixed an issue where a new Season automatically unlocked all rewards
Removed the Leaderboard button hint after Questline Missions (as these don't have leaderboards)
Fixed an issue where the resolution didn’t go back to native when changing back to full screen
Fixed an issue where upon clicking on a tournament, it immediately started a game attempt on the wrong tournament
Fixed many German localization problems
Cabinet mode - Fixed an issue where switching between Friends and Global view in the leaderboards was not working
Fixed an exploit where you could get a Diamond Cup without finishing your sessions on Events
Tournaments - Fixed an issue where switching between tabs made the Tournament filters change
Tournaments - Fixed the Favourites filter so it displays everything correctly
Fixed a crash that could occur when selecting Quick Resume on Xbox
Questlines - Fixed multiple issues on the French Questlines result screen
Result screen - Fixed an issue in Events, where the displayed Tier could be incorrect
Fixed an issue where Battlestar Galactica Pinball and Knight Rider Pinball achievements were switched on Epic Games Store
Fixed multiple frame rate and pacing issues on PS5
Cabinet Mode - Fixed an issue where players had to Reload Configuration every time
Fixed an issue where placing in the Top 10% could still appear ‘unranked’ in Events
Tournament Notification - Selecting 'CHECK' on the notification board should now bring you to the leaderboard of finished tournaments
Fixed a localization line in Quick Play
Fixed an issue where the Result Screen could stay on screen after restart
Fixed an issue where a ‘Please review controls’ pop-up could appear with every game start
Tournaments - Fixed an issue where selecting the ‘Owned’ filter could display tables not in the player’s collection
Fixed an issue where navigating Settings/Profile also sent input to the My Tables section
Fixed an issue with the Season Progress display on the Results screen
Fixed a crash that could occur around an expiring tournament and the Home tab
Fixed an issue regarding notifications that should not have arrived for select user
Fixed an issue where the Questline Result screen rewards unlocked text was always displayed in English
Fixed some text box issues on the Collection screen
On the Event Results screen, tokens should now update properly
Tournaments - Owned filter should display proper information from now on
Tournaments - Fixed an issue where the ‘Create’ button could stick around after creating the tournament
Tournaments - Fixed an issue where switching between tabs the selection could display incorrectly
Fixed an issue when the Leaderboards could not display player scores correctly
Tournaments - Fixed an issue where the game did not handle leaderboards consistently if a tournament was created with crossplay off
Tournaments - Fixed an issue where if you started a tournament with a play limit, the result screen did not display how many attempts are remaining
Collections can now be browsed properly with a keyboard
Fixes for PlayStation, Xbox, PC:
Xena: Warrior Princess Pinball

• Activated a lamp for the Alti target so that it will be more visible during the Alti - Vision of Pain mode
• Fixed multiple issues around Chakram Ball and multiball starts
• Realistic Physics: The right orbit should not send the ball STDM during Lost in the Caves multiball

Battlestar Galactica Pinball

• All other mode timers will now stop counting down during Turret video mode
• Realistic Physics: On 60 hz the kickbacks should not kick the ball back STDM

Pacific Rim Pinball:

• Fixed an issue where the animation could freeze when hitting the right inner loop
• Normal Physics: The left ramp is much more shootable now

Fish Tales

• Pro Mode: Fixed an error where the ball didn't go into the saucer

Fixes for Playstation, Xbox, PC and Nintendo Switch
Knight Rider Pinball:

• Leaderboards have been reset to ensure fair competition after fixes
• Fixed a crash when activating the Wizard mode
• Fixed an issue where a ball could launch onto the table when not supposed to
• Fixed an exploit where Billions could be gained in moments
• Third successful skill shot will now add to the score and indicate a successful shot
• It is no longer possible to get extra balls during the 1-ball Challenge
• Fixed an issue where if you got SPM Mode from the Knight Award, the ball could have gotten stuck in the hole
• Fixed an issue when the ball could stuck in the plunger area during auto cruise mode
• Normal Physics: The ball coming from the saucer without hitting it won't go down the middle
• On 144hz: The ball launcher should not shoot the ball right between the flippers
• Skillshot targets should now be visible in portrait mode

PC Only:
Crypt of the Necrodancer Pinball

• The flippers in the lower playfield will work properly
• The arrows and beats are now working properly during zones

Their short story about bisexual armadillos was just too inclusive, too well written using old English and had just the right amount of sexual tension between the villain and the narrator (which we all love!!). I couldn't stop myself - it was too good of an opportunity.
So I downloaded the encrypted file of their magnum opus, paid a team of Chinese hackers to transform the PDF into a DOCX, then sent it to a publishing agency and they instantly offered me a contract for a full series!
What should my next step be? 1. Pitch this to Netflix for a movie or a series (maybe they'll let me play in it?) 2. See what else I can steal from the author? I never read this book 3. Just write?
Thanks for the help fellow hustlers!
PS I won't share a Google Docs links with you. I don't trust the internet.

My name is Ariel. To tell you the truth, I'm a little too much of a nerd. I've always had a hard time socializing in real life or on the phone. That's why I prefer texting, because it allows me to open up and express myself better. As a matter of fact, I am on the autism spectrum. Other than that, I'm extremely passionate about my interests, which range from video games, movies, TV shows, comic books, and writing. I have some specialties, like I can cook thought nothing too elegant, and I also have proficency in the English language. I hold a Cambridge First certificate at the highest level, which is C1.
So yes, this is all me. Drop me a DM if you want. I also have a Discord.

English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes
I’m dating someone from another country and we communicate mainly in English. There is a lot for texting because we’re in a long distance relationship.
The thing is I realised I’m very comfortable with dirty talk in English, but recently he asked me to speak in my own language and I found it so cringe I had to stop because I started nervous laughing.
I don’t know what is wrong with me. Why would I be embarrassed to say something in my first language and not in English? This is so weird…

Open-ended Questions:

1. Epistrophe: How does the use of epistrophe impact the rhythm and emotional resonance of a literary work? Provide examples from different genres.
   
2. Anadiplosis: Explore the significance of anadiplosis in creating a sense of continuity and building momentum in a narrative. How does it contribute to the overall flow of a text?
   
3. Aposiopesis: In what ways does aposiopesis enhance suspense and engage readers' imagination? Provide instances where aposiopesis is employed for dramatic effect.
   
4. Epizeuxis: Discuss the role of epizeuxis in emphasizing key ideas or emotions. How does this device add intensity to a character's speech or a narrative moment?
   
5. Chiasmus: Analyze the impact of chiasmus on language patterns and its ability to convey complex ideas. Identify instances where chiasmus is used to create memorable phrases.
   
6. Enjambment: How does enjambment contribute to the exploration of themes and emotions in poetry? Provide examples illustrating the nuanced effects of enjambment.
   
7. Paraprosdokian: Explore the comedic and rhetorical functions of paraprosdokian. How does it subvert expectations and create a surprising twist in language?
   
8. Anaphora: Examine the rhetorical power of anaphora in speeches or written works. How does repetition contribute to emphasis and persuasion?
   
9. Hendiadys: Investigate the nuanced meanings and expressions conveyed through hendiadys. How does this device enhance the richness of language and description?
   
10. Litotes: Discuss the subtlety and understatement inherent in litotes. How does it shape the tone of a statement and create layers of meaning?
    

Fill in the Blank Questions:

1. In epistrophe, repetition occurs at the ________ of successive clauses, creating a distinctive rhythmic pattern.
   
2. Anadiplosis involves the repetition of the last word of one clause at the beginning of the ________ clause.
   
3. Aposiopesis is characterized by a sudden ________, adding suspense and intrigue to a statement.
   
4. Epizeuxis employs immediate ________ for emphasis, intensifying the impact of a particular word or phrase.
   
5. Chiasmus involves the reversal of ________ structures in successive phrases, creating a symmetrical pattern.
   
6. Enjambment is the continuation of a sentence without a pause beyond the end of a ________, stanza, or verse.
   
7. Paraprosdokian achieves humor and surprise by delivering an unexpected ________ or twist in a phrase or series.
   
8. Anaphora is the repetition of a word or phrase at the ________ of successive clauses, emphasizing key ideas.
   
9. Hendiadys involves using two ________ to express an idea when normally one would suffice, adding nuance and complexity.
   
10. Litotes emphasizes the magnitude of a statement by denying its ________ opposite, contributing to an ironic or modest tone.
    

Vibhajjavada and Sarvāstivāda: Analysing the Heart Sutra from Theravadin Perspective—Part 15

5.1.21. Non-duality is Illogical

Biological structure and biological processes are not imaginary. Natural phenomena and natural systems are not imaginary, either. They are certainly not imaginations and mental projections. Living things or lifeforms are metaphysical. Citta-mātratā is a result of illogical reasoning.
Form is emptiness, emptiness is form cannot mean physical pain does not exist. Citta-mātrat (mind only) cannot prove the mind is not local (or individual).

[Lanka Chapter 2:] Even Nirvana and Samsara's world of life and death are aspects of the same thing,

• If samsara is only imaginary (māyā), it does not exist, as it is not reality. Relief from imaginations (māyā) is unnecessary. The struggle for relief from pain exists because māyāvāda is false, imaginary and illogical reasoning. If pain were imaginary or non-being, the need for nirvana does not exist. Relief from pain is nirvana. We all desire for never to suffer again—the end of suffering.

Nirvana (Sanskrit) and Nibbana (Pali, the language of the earliest Buddhist texts) literally mean “to go out”-like a fire-and “to cool.” Applied to the mind, it refers to extinguishing the fevers of greed, hate, and delusion, the three roots of suffering. The Buddha’s choice of this term was intimately tied to the imagery of his famous Fire Sermon. Here he said: “Everything is on fire; the eyes are on fire; sights are on fire; visual perception is on fire. . . ; the ears are on fire. . . ; the nose is on fire. . . ; the tongue is on fire. . . ; the body is on fire. . . ; the mind is on fire…. They are on fire with greed, hate, and delusion” (from the Mahavagga of the Theravada Vinaya). [Nibbana (Gil Fronsdal, from Tricycle, Fall 2006, “Nirvana: Three Takes”)]

• To portray non-duality, Lankavatara rejects the difference between Nirvana and Samsara. If everything but the mind is mere māyā (imaginations), then liberation from imagination is unanecessary.
• No one exists by his/her imagination. No one can imagine things up to fulfill his/her needs. Things do not exist the way the māyāvādis want them to.
• Right and wrong, true and false, head and tail, start and end, entrance to exit, delusion and enlightenment ...
• The original Tathagata cannot stop imagining because he is craving and clinging to māyā. The māyāvādis do not notice that.

Taṇhāya sati uppadāna hoti (When there is craving there is clinging.) [Danuse Murty] Tanha paccaya upadana [Paticcasamuppada]

• One clings to what one craves for. Clinging and craving are mutually supportive.

Thāna Sutta: No Non-Duality:

1. Ṭhāna Sutta.–The five unattainable states - ageing which brings no decay, sickening no disease, dying no death, wasting no destruction, ending no end. A.iii.54f. [4. Thāna Sutta (palikanon)]

• These five are no non-duality.

1. Ṭhāna Sutta.– Four occasions that exist — when action is unpleasant and unprofitable to the doer, when it is unpleasant but profitable, when it is pleasant but unprofitable, when it is both pleasant and profitable. A.ii.118 f. [Dictionary of Pāli Proper Names (palikanon)]

• These four are also no non-duality.

5.1.22. For every aspiring bodhisattva

[Hatthaka of Alavi:] When I know that, 'This person is to be won over by giving,' then I win him/her over by giving. When I know that, 'This person is to be won over by kind words,' then I win him/her over by kind words. When I know that, 'This person is to be won over by beneficial help,' then I win him/her over by beneficial help.[1] When I know that, 'This person is to be won over by consistency,' then I win him/her over by consistency.[2]
Translator's note: The four grounds for the bonds of fellowship (see AN 4.32) appear in the early Mahayana sutras as guidelines for every aspiring bodhisattva — one of the few teachings that even the more radical Mahayana sutras adopt from the early canons. [Hatthaka Sutta: About Hatthaka (2) (Thanissaro Bhikkhu)]

Sarvāstivādis' perspective

[Heart (Red page 6):] Thus, the conceptual truths on which early Buddhists relied for their practice are held up to the light and found to be empty of anything that would separate them from the indivisible fabric of what is truly real.

Sarvāstivādis cling to māyāvāda becuase most of them do not know or cannot understand the Ariya Sacca and the Noble Eightfold Path (samātha-vipassanā).

Desire for enjoyment and desire for liberation; [Two Types of Desire (ASHIN NYANISSARA)]

Sarvāstivādis are concerned with stilling the mind.

[The Venerable Mahasi Sayadaw:] the states of Ordinary Absorption (lokiya jhana) such as four Form Absorptions (rupa-jhanas) and four Formlessness Absorptions (arupa-jhanas), by virtue of which one would be reborn in the plane of Brahma.

Nibbana is not the emptiness or suchness of the sutras:

Preached to Ananda at the Migaramatupasada. True solitude is not to be found in forest dwelling nor in the concentration of heart away from all ideas, but in attaining to deliverance from the asavas. M.iii.104ff [Cula Sunnata Sutta: Sunnatavakkanti]

Sarvāstivādis are not concerned with escaping cittasaṅkhāra (the auto-mental activities due to uppadāna):

taṅhā, desire or craving, is not just something added to our experience: It is literally built into our cognitive process. We are, if you will, born with the pathology of desire. Craving, or taṅhā in Pali, is the central problem identified by the Buddha. Discourses on craving are scattered throughout the Pali Canon [Mindfulness & the Cognitive Process (John Peacock)]

Sabbe Saṅkhāra Anatta,ti

Verse 277: "All conditioned phenomena are impermanent"; when one sees this with Insight-wisdom, one becomes weary of dukkha (i.e., the khandhas). This is the Path to Purity.

Sarvāstivādis did not know the definitions of Vibhajjavada, Anatta-vada, arahant and Nibbana. Sarvāstivādis, being the outsider, completely missed the Patipatti Sasana.

[Heart (Red page 6):] In their place, Avalokiteshvara introduces us to emptiness, the common denominator of the mundane, the metaphysical, and the transcendent.

• Avalokiteshvara (Avalokiteśvara) introduces us to emptiness with no new definition unknown to the early Buddhists.
• Oh! Wait! The early Buddhists did not know the Sarvāstivādi māyāvāda.
• But don't forget the name of the Buddha's mother Maya.

Atta-Suññatā

The Venerable Sariputta, an expert in atta-Suññatā, who knew the path to Nibbāna, instructed Anattanupassana (Comtemplation on Anatta) to Anathapindika:

"Then, householder, you should train yourself in this way: 'I won't cling to what is seen, heard, sensed, cognized, attained, sought after, pondered by the intellect; my consciousness will not be dependent on that.' That's how you should train yourself." [Anattavada Dhamma: Anathapindikovada Sutta: Instructions to Anathapindika]

• Free Will: One may act freely, but one action is a mear reaction to the external sources, which come through the six sense organs namely:

1. Cakkhu-vinnana = 2 eye-consciousness;
2. Sota-vinnana= 2 ear consciousness
3. Ghana-vinnana= 2 nose consciousness
4. Jivha-vinnana = 2 tongue consciousness
5. Kaya-vinnana = 2 body consciousness
6. Mano-vinnana = 79 mind-consciousness

[Vithi - Process of Consciousness - Part 2: Six Types of Vinnana and Vithi / The mango simile (Evelin C. Halls and Pennie White; Chan Academy)]
Anatta-vadi is not concerned about what Mahayana teaches.

The title of Anatta-vadi conferred upon the Buddha by Theravada Buddhists, the elevated status accorded to the huge collection of prajnaparamita or ‘perfection of wisdom’ texts, which focusses emphatically on the idea of sunyata or ‘emptiness’, and the testimonies of meditation teachers across the various Buddhist traditions, all bear witness to the centrality of the doctrine of anatta. In particular, Buddhist meditators have often described anatta as the single most profound discovery of the Buddha, and that an insight into anatta is crucial for attaining that utter liberation of the mind which is the summum bonum of Buddhist praxis. [Anatta and Meditation (Chris Kang BOccThy (Hons) The University of Queensland)]

Anatta dhamma

To the ordinary level of knowledge and thinking the Anatta dhamma may appear as a metaphysical concept, but it is the only practical realistic truth in life. This can be correctly realised by means of satipatthana practice on the existing phenomena. We all experience such as emotion, cognition, feeling, thinking, etc. They are all sankhara dhammas, that is, the processes of rise and fall, in short, by looking through the nama and rupa we discern, in a deeper insight dimensions, the voidness of soul in us. With the progress of Vipassana insight the three characteristics of existence are fully known: impermanence, suffering, and absence of individuality or ego. At first we may learn these profound spiritual truths by means of hearing and thinking. At perceptual level, these truths may seem dreary or pessimistic. But at insight level the highest truths are revealed to deliver us from the clutches of pride, lust and delusion. [The Doctrine of Anatta U Han Htay Research Officer]

Right View and Morality Go To Understanding Reality; Wrong View To Speculative Theories;

If Buddhism transcends the mutual conflict between sassatavada and ucchedavada, it is through its doctrine of Dependent Origination (paticcasamuppada) [...] The sole purpose of this doctrine is to establish the causal structure of individual existence [...] of inter-dependent mental and material phenomena, all in a state of constant change. Within the empiric individuality there is no independent self-entity, mental or material, which is impervious to change. Nor is there a soul, in the form of a spiritual essence, which relates it to a transcendental reality [...] It is through the doctrine of Dependent Origination that Buddhism seeks to explain the uninterrupted continuity of the life-series in samsara (cycle of births and deaths). In common with other religions, Buddhism, too, recognizes both survival (punabbhava) and moral responsibility (kammavada). But in Buddhism both are explained strictly according to the principles of Dependent Origination. [The Early Buddhist Teaching On the Practice of the Moral Life (Y. Karunadasa; page 3)]

5.1.23. DHAMMA IS NOT FOR EVERYONE

Dhamma is easily and readily available for everyone. However, not everyone is ready to understand the Dhamma and follow the Noble Path. Therefore, the Dhamma is not for everyone. [Even In The DARKEST MOMENT Ven. K. Rathanasara (Selected Dhamma Talks)]

• Dhamma is for the ones who want to get rid of asava-s (corruptions): kāmāsava (sensuality), bhavāsava (becoming), ditthāsava (belief), avijjāsava (ignorance).

DHAMMA: A Gradual Training

[The Buddha:] Just as the ocean has a gradual shelf, a gradual slope, a gradual inclination, with a sudden drop-off only after a long stretch, in the same way this Doctrine and Discipline (dhamma-vinaya) has a gradual training, a gradual performance, a gradual progression, with a penetration to gnosis only after a long stretch. — Ud 5.5 [A Gradual Training (Thanissaro Bhikkhu)]

Jhana:

[The Venerable Mahasi Sayadaw:] the states of Ordinary Absorption (lokiya jhana) such as four Form Absorptions (rupa-jhanas) and four Formlessness Absorptions (arupa-jhanas), by virtue of which one would be reborn in the plane of Brahma.

Jhana Sutta: Mental Absorption

In the same way, there is the case where a monk... enters & remains in the first jhana: rapture & pleasure born of seclusion, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. He regards whatever phenomena there that are connected with form, feeling, perception, fabrications, & consciousness, as inconstant, stressful, a disease, a cancer, an arrow, painful, an affliction, alien, a disintegration, an emptiness, not-self. He turns his mind away from those phenomena, and having done so, inclines his mind to the property of deathlessness: 'This is peace, this is exquisite — the resolution of all fabrications; the relinquishment of all acquisitions; the ending of craving; dispassion; cessation; Unbinding.'

2 The progressive abodes (anupubba vihāra):

Jhāna Sutta structures itself on the model of the nine progressive abodes (anupubba vihāra), that is,  the 4 form dhyanas (rūpa jhāna),  the 4 formless attainments (arūpa samāpatti),  the cessation of perception and feeling (saññā,vedayita,nirodha).

Vipassanā-Paññā

Vipassanā:—Insight into the character of impermanence and the actual nature of the universe. [Wisdom Library: Buddhism]

1. discernment of the corporeal (rūpa),
2. of the mental (nāma),
3. contemplation of both (nāmarūpa; i.e. of their pair wise occurrence in actual events, and their interdependence),
4. both viewed as conditioned (application of the dependent origination, paticcasamuppāda),
5. application of the 3 characteristics (impermanency, etc.) to mind-and-body-cum-conditions.

[End quote]

• Nama and rupa are Dukkha Sacca and Samudaya Sacca.
• Nirodha Sacca is Nibbana, relief from the burden of the Nama-Rupa complex (saṅkhāra)

MAHASARANAGAMANA The Great Refuge

Mahathera Ledi Sayadaw, Agga Maha Pandita, D. Litt. Translated by Daw Mya Tin, M.A.

[The nature of Dukkha:] (a) Pancakkhandha Dukkha, (b) Ayatana Dukkha, (c) Dhatu Dukkha, (d) Paticcasamuppada Dukkha; Paticcasamuppada [...] is dukkha. when the origin of cause of dukkha ceases, dukkha also ceases the chain of causal sequences consists of twelve links

• (a) Abandonment of three kinds of Craving (tanha),
• (b) Abandonment of the ten difilements (kilesas) through attainment of Maggas,
  • Abandonment of defilements through Sotapatti Magga
  • Abandonment of defilements through Sakadagami Magga
  • Abandonment of defilements through Anagami Magga
  • Abandonment of defilements through Arahatta Magga
• (c) Abandonment of asavas, oghas, yogas, ganthas, etc.

1. Asavas, oghas, yoga; ganthas: These four are defilements based on Kama, bhava, ditthi and Avijja -- craving for pleasures of the senses, craving for better existences, clinging to false Views and ignorance. Asavas convey the idea of some thing flowing out. They intoxicate or befuddle the mind. Oghas are likened to whirlpools that keep one submerged in the round of existences , samsara.
2. Upadana (Clinging): The four kinds of Clinging are clinging to sense desire, clinging to wrong view, clinging to wrong view of the practice if morality and clinging to belief in (mind and matter as) atta, Self.
3. Nivaranas (hindrance): They are sensual desire, ill-will, sloth and torpor, restlessness and worry, doubt and ignorance of the Ariya Truths.
4. Anusayas. These are defilements that have not yet been eradicated by Magga Insight. They have the tendency to arise again when conditions are favourable. The seven anusayas are craving for sensual pleasures, craving for existence in rupa and arupa realms, hatred, doubt, conceit, ignorance of the Ariya Truths, and the illusion of Self.
5. Samyojanas (fetters). The ten fetters comprise the above seven plus the belief m the efficacy of rites and rituals that are outside the Ariya Path of Eight Constituents; jealously (issa) and stinginess (macchariya)

• Dukkha Nirodha Gamini Patipada Ariya Sacca
  • (a) The seven kinds of Purity (visuddhi)
  • (b) The Ten Vipassana Nanas (Insight Knowledge)
  • (c) Contemplation of Sunnata, Animitta and Apanihita
  • (d) Bodhipakkhiya Dhamma
  • (e) Lokuttara Nana
• Nibbana
  • (a) The Four Phalas
  • (b) Nibbana Dhatu: (The Element of Nibbana) aka. asankata dhatu

Vibhajjavada and Sarvāstivāda: Analysing the Heart Sutra from Theravadin Perspective—Part 14

5.1.15. Amata

The Vedas were readily available to Prince Siddhatta. The sages of Kapilavattu were the Vedic experts. They did not find amata (deathlessness) in the Vedas. However, they believed the prince would find it, so they left the palace and waited the prince for several years in the jungle. When he joined them, they supported him as he sought amata.
Pali and Sanskrit see amata differently:

[Pali] amata : (nt.) ambrosia; the deathless state.
[Sanskrit] Amata (अमत). 1. Sickness, disease. 2. Death. 3. Time.

The Buddha explains His finding to Tapussa in Tapussa Sutta AN 9.41:

With the complete transcending of the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, I entered & remained in the cessation of perception & feeling. And as I saw with discernment, the mental fermentations went to their total end. [Alaya-vijnana: The Storehouse Consciousness: The Subconscious Source of All Experience (Barbara O'Brien)]

Mahayanists call the Buddha's achieve as Hinayana. But they do not get a say. Only the Buddha get a say what His sasana is or is not.
Amata Sutta (SN 47:41)

Monks, remain with your minds well-established in the four [satipatthana]. Don’t let the deathless be lost for you.

The Path to Amata

The path is old. It has existed since the first Buddha rose out of the muddy water at the dawn of time. Sakyamuni Buddha gave us the formular to reach amata as follow:

right view, right resolve, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration [Access to Insight]

Samudaya Sacca

Avijja-paccaya sankhara: general activities are based on ignorance:

All beings are covered or spread over by and caught in the net of ditthi, the wrong belief. They are drifting in the current of ditthi. As such, seeing, for having perceived, in the hearts of Buddhas, towards beings, Great Compassion with pity has arisen.
The current of tanha, as has been stated, is generally flowing into the realm of four Apayas. Therefore, all those beings who are not yet liberated from the bonds of tanha and ditthi are immensely suffering after descending to the four nether worlds. Having clearly perceived this miserable condition of life, Buddha was moved to have pity towards all living beings. Emulating the example as shown by the Buddha, our male and female benefactors and all those who desire to follow His exemplary conduct can also try to develop karuna. [Caught in the net of Dittha, and drifting in the current of Ditthi (Mahasi Sayadaw)]

Like glue, tanha (craving) sticks us to the round of pain (dukkha samsara). Natural worldview is designed with the three cravings: sense-pleasure, existence and nonexistence (kama, bhava, vibhava). One wants nonexistence only when realises deep suffering without knowing whether it exists or not. Thus, natural worldview is ignorance (avijja).

5.1.16. Sammuti and Paramattha 1

Conventional Truth (Samutti Sacca) and Ultimate Truth (Paramattha Sacca)—Various traditions employ two concepts of truth without agreeing what is true.
Paramattha are citta, cetasika, rūpa (khandhas) and Nibbana. Generally, they are unknown or misunderstood if not explained by an ariya-puggala.
Sammuti Sacca is paññatti or concepts (names: nouns and pronouns) and conventions, which we employ for convenience. Samuti and our collective ego/need force us to conform and understand things according to them. Our mental and physical existences evolve in samuti.

Vasubandhu

Before converting to Mahayana and became a cofounder of Yogacara school (also Vijnanavada), Vasubandhu wrote Abhidharmakośa (Sarvāstivādi abhidharma), in which he presents Sarvāstivādi conventional truth (māyā) and ultimate truth (vijñāna, nirvana, space). The Mahayanists regard him as a second Buddha. Vasubandhu:

An entity, the cognition of which does not arise when it is destroyed and, mentally divided, is conventionally existent like a pot and water. Ultimate existence is otherwise.” [...] A pot and water are designated as conventionally existent therefore conventionally real for the concept “pot” ceases to exist when it is destroyed physically, and the concept “water” no longer arises when we conceptually exclude from it its shape, colour etc. [...]
(i) ultimate reality is both physically and logically irreducible, as it does not disintegrate when it is subjected to physical destruction and that its identity does not disappear when its parts are separated from it under logical analysis; [The Theory of Two Truths in India (Sonam Thakchoe)]

• Tittha Sutta: the Vabhajjavadi Buddha talked about the parable of blind men speculating about an elephant.

Some recluses and brahmans, so called, Are deeply attached to their own views; People who only see one side of things Engage in quarrels and disputes.—Sakyamuni Buddha

• Analysing the pot and water:
  • Pot the object is a construct (saṅkhāra).
  • Pot the word is sammuti.
  • Pot the rūpa (khandha) and water the rūpa (khandha) are a paramattha.
• What can be a good example of mentally divided?
• the concept “water”: Vasubandhu did not know the four mahabhuta. Regarding to the shape of water, Bruce Lee developed a martial-art philosophy:

If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend—Bruce Lee.

• [ultimate reality] does not disintegrate: Contrary to that, conditioned paramatthas are subject to change and impermanent; sassatavada (eternalism).

5.1.17. Rūpa Svabhāva

[Vasbandhu (Thakchoe):] (ii) ultimate reality does not borrow its nature from other things including its parts. Rather it exists independently in virtue of its intrinsic reality (svabhāva)

That is Sarvāstivādi Vasbandhu's position, which might violate Sarvāstivādi māyāvāda. Vijñaptimātra means the imaginations of the mind do not have svabhāva.
Is svabhāva (sabhāva) conventional or ultimate reality?
The sabhāva of the ultimate realities is ultimate reality.

• For example, water is rūpa, so it has rūpa sabhāva (physical nature). Water is wet, etc. These properties of water would never change, or water would become something different. Water is an ultimate reality as its characters would not change.

The sabhāva of saṅkhāra is saṅkhāra.

• For example, a cat, cat-ness or cat nature which might be evolving. cat is made of many parts, so we can identify them with their natures. Leg has leg nature; head has head nature, etc. Cat leg is somewhat unique, but a leg is a leg. Cat is different from other species, so we could identify the cat's unique characters.
• Human and human nature, animal and animal nature, brahma and brahma nature... All of these are saṅkhāra. These differences will exist; however, each of them could develop/evolve differently gradually. The development of human and animal are fast. The evolution of brahma might be very slow. The point is we should acknowledge the nature of saṅkhāra is change (anicca). The Vibhannavadi Buddha was concerned about change, not how they change.

Sabhāva and Asabhāva Rūpa
[A Survey of Paramattha Dhammas: Chapter 4 - Exposition Of Paramattha Dhammas II: Rupa (Sujin Boriharnwanaket):]

[4]: Sabhāva rupa is a rupa with its own distinct nature. Sa in Pali means with, and bhāva means nature. There are also asabhāva rupas which, though classified among the 28 kinds of rupa, are not separate rupas with their own nature, but special qualities connected with other rupas. They will be explained later on.

• sabhāva: natural; asabhāva: unnatural;
• sabhāva rupa: natural elements: solid, liquid, gas, heat, space (pariccheda rupa);

The rupa which is space, ākāsa rupa, has the function of limiting or separating all the different groups or kalāpas of rupas. Space in this context is not outer space, but the infinitesimal space surrounding each kalāpa. After its function it is also called pariccheda rupa (pariccheda meaning limit or boundary) [...] Because of pariccheda rupa which surrounds each kalāpa, even large matter can be broken up into infinitely tiny particles; it can be broken up only at those points where there is space^\9])

Satipatthana is to understand the paramatthas:

[Pubbabhaga Magga:] Nama and rupa sabhava can be known only when you note at the moment of arising. [On the Path to Freedom: CHAPTER 6 TRAINING (Sayadaw U Pandita)]

• That is to get rid of cittasaṅkhāra (wrong view):

It only has the sabhāva dhamma of rūpa lakkhaṇa, and seeing its nature. I am not seeing the cittasaṅkhāra such as woman, dog, etc. The visual form, sound, smell etc. are only sabhāva nature. Fragrance, smelly, sweet, sour, etc. (taste and smell cittasaṅkhāra are ceasing.) [...] If from the eye seeing woman, man, etc. sīla not stable. Sotāpanna sees the one Dhamma (eka-dhamma) of rūpa sabhāva, nāma sabhāva or seeing one sabhāva dhamma. The noblest knowing is this one sabhāva of knowing.
There are 40 samatha practices, practice with one of them as one’s preference. Knowledge comes from the doors of the six senses and their corresponding objects as the noblest knowing. Seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching and knowing are dhammas. Seeing is visual paramatā, hearing is sound paramatā … knowing is dhamma paramatā. Some thought that seeing was a concept. NO, seeing is paramatā. [The Way of a Stream Enterer (Dhamma Talks by Sayadaw U Ukkaṭṭha)]

• rūpa sabhāva: dukkha sacca is the nature of the four mahabhuta and sense nature (vedanā: sight-seeing, sound-hearing, odor-smelling, touching, tasting, as per satipatthana)
• nāma sabhāva: sabhāva of knowing or awareness, knowing; dukkha sacca as well;
• paramatā: paramattha (vs. paññatti); knowing the paramattha (reality); yathā-bhūta-ñāṇa-dassana; vipassana-insight (penetrating cittasaṅkhāra); mind fixed on reality, as per the satipatthana; (paramatā: this definition is not related to the Pali literature);
• Sayadaw U Ukkaṭṭha talks in Burmese about paramattha vs. paññatti and Dhammapada Verse 282 Potthilatthera Vatthu.

As instructed by the samanera, Thera Potthila kept his mind firmly fixed on the true nature of the body; he was very ardent and vigilant in his meditation.

• the true nature of the body: rūpa sabhāva (rūpa dhamma); i.e. constantly changing (as a process); e.g. put a grain of salt on the tongue, and one can observe the change (not the taste, not saltiness);

What the young Arahat suggested was for Potthila not to allow //javana// merely to hang on to the five sense-doors of eye, ear, nose, tongue, and touch, but to shut them up and note only the mind-door so that impulsion could lead him on to insight-meditation. This gave the learned monk a clue to the method of vipassana-practice. When one sees, one must stop at the thought-moment of //votthapana// and note all phenomena with mindfulness. It is the same as saying: When you see, you just see it. Having practised meditation as suggested, Potthila attained Arahatship. [POTTHILA THERA (A Discourse on MALUKYAPUTTA SUTTA Venerable Mahasi Sayadaw)]

• When you see, you just see it: to observe the nāma-rūpa sabhāva; paramattha, without paññatti or cittasaṅkhāra; yathā-bhūta-ñāṇa-dassana;
• Sotāpanna sees the one Dhamma: the change is flowing; the mind is stilling, not following the flow; the cessation of cittasaṅkhāra as citta-visuddhi:

[visuddhi:] "Whosoever has cultivated, developed, and frequently practised 'equanimity regarding all formations' in him arises very strong faith known as determination (adhimokkha-saddhā) and his energy is better exerted, his mindfulness better established, his mind better concentrated, and a still stronger 'equanimity regarding the formations' arises. 'Now the path will reveal itself', thus thinking, the meditator contemplates with his equanimity-knowledge all formations as impermanent, etc., and thereafter that knowledge sinks into the subconscious stream of existence (s. bhavanga-sotā). Immediately afterwards there arises advertence at the mind-door (s. viññāna-kicca). And just like equanimity-knowledge, the adaptation-knowledge, too, takes as its object the formations, regarding them as something impermanent, miserable and impersonal. Thereupon, while continuing the uninterrupted continuity of consciousness (citta-santati), there arises the 1st impulsive moment (javana, q.v.), called 'preparation' (parikamma), taking the same formations as object. Immediately thereafter, with the same formations as object, there arises the 2nd impulsive moment, known as 'access' (upacāra). And again immediately after that, there arises the impulsive moment called 'adaptation' (anuloma)."
(VII) Purification of knowledge and vision (ñānadassana-visuddhi) is the knowledge associated with any of the 4 kinds of supermundane path-consciousness (s. ariyapuggala). [See Path of Purification, by Buddhaghosa, tr. by Ñyanamoli (BPS); Path of Freedom, by Upatissa (BPS)]

• formations: saṅkhāra—means 'changing' in this context; Whosoever has cultivated, developed, and frequently practised 'equanimity regarding all changing (rūpa sabhāva/saṅkhāra) in him...
• One should observe the rūpa sabhāva;

5.1.18. Sarvastivādi Māyāvāda and Citta-mātratā

Bhāvavevika:

Bhāvavevika is the originator of Sarvastivādi māyāvāda. He founded the two Svātantrika Madhyamaka schools (Sautrāntika and Yogācāra). They follow his Sarvastivādi māyāvādi two truths: the ultimate emptiness reality (bhagwan brahma) and the ultimate emptiness of reality (māyā).

[Bhāvavevika:] nonself or emptiness alone is the ultimate reality, and the rest—the entire range of dharmas—are ultimately empty of any intrinsic reality. [...] says Bhāvavevika because “The Lord (bhāgvan / bcom ldan ldas) has taught the two truths. [Thakchoe]

• Bhagavan (bcom ldan ldas)

Sanskrit: {MSA} buddha ... bhagavat Comment: The term bcom ldan 'das is translated in accordance with the etymology favored in Tibet, where it is recognized that bhagavan also can be etymologized as one who possesses the six goodnesses (legs pa drug dang ldan pa), which seems to fit the more widely used translation as Blessed One.

• Now how do you like to namo the Amitabha?

The Trisvabhavanirdesha Verses

[Kaz Tanahashi:]

Scholars believe that this short treatise, it’s only 38 verses long, is Vasubandhu’s last and most mature writing.

Vasubandhu's addenda to the Sarvastivādi māyāvāda are his final verses, which deal with three natures (svābhāva), including the Imagined Nature (māyā), the Other–Dependent Nature, and the Consummate Nature.

• Vasubandhu's three-nature concept comprises the output of māyā (imaginatons) and māyā's reunion with the imagionator.
• Why must the imaginations reunite with the imaginator?

1) The first nature is the Imagined Nature, which is the everyday world as we understand it.

• The Imagined Nature is māyā.

[imagining nature] 2) The second nature is the Other–Dependent Nature, which Vasubandhu defines as the “causal” process of the thing’s fabrication, the causal story that brings about the imagined thing’s apparent nature—its middle way arising. This is the “how to; it couples natures one and two and emphasizes that both are simply imagined.

• The Other–Dependent Nature is the manufacturing process of imagintions (māyā).

3) The third nature, the Consummate Nature, is the lack of duality. It is a singularity—the fact that the Imagined Nature and the Other-Dependent Natures do not exist as they appear, but rather exist in “as things are,” with no subject/object distinction.

• The Consummate Nature (the lack of duality) means māyā has completely returned to brahmā.

Citta-mātratā (Only mind is reality)

[Kaz Tanahashi continues:]

Vasubandhu’s magician uses a mantra to make everyone see “the elephant.” So, (1) the mantra is compared to the store-consciousness; (2) Suchness–emptiness, or the consummate–or underlying non-dual is analogous to the wood; discriminating (3) is compared to discrete entities of the elephant’s appearance; and (4) duality is compared to the elephant itself.
[verse 27:] Like an elephant [māyā] that appears Through the power of a magician’s mantra [Ālayavijñāna/memory]—Only the percept appears, The elephant is completely nonexistent.

• Explanation:

Mantra = storehouse consciousness [Ālayavijñāna]; Wood = consummate nature [the unification]; Elephant = duality [māyā]; Magician = our mind [brahmā];

• Ālayavijñāna/memory:

The alaya-vijnana is the foundation or basis of all consciousness, and it contains impressions of all of our past actions*. These impressions, sankhara, form bija, or "seeds," and from these seeds, our thoughts, opinions, desires, and attachments grow. The alaya-vijnana forms the basis of our personalities as well.* [Alaya-vijnana: The Storehouse Consciousness (Barbara O'Brien)]

• Ālayavijñāna is the foundation or basis of all consciousness: compare that with the industructible buddha-nature, which is awareness/consciousness (Bodhidharma).
• The Heart Sutra is a mantra.

That is Sarvastivādi māyāvāda and the notion of citta-mātratā.

5.1.19. Reunion with the Super Self

[Sarvastivadi] authors almost unanimously accept vijñapti-mātratā or prajñapti-mātratā or citta-mātratā as the Yogācārin’s description of the absolute, undefiled, undifferentiated, non-dual, transcendent, pure, ultimate, permanent, unchanging, eternal, supra-mundane, unthinkable, Reality, which, according to them, is the same as Parniṣpanna-svabhāva, or Nirvāṇa, or Pure Consciousness, or Dharma-dhātu, or Dharma-kāya, or the Absolute Idea of Hegel, or the Brahman of Vedānta. [Vasubandhu: 5. Controversy over Vasubandhu as “Idealist” (Jonathan C. Gold)]

• citta-mātratā: citta is Nirvana:
  • Nirvana: Māyā (false imagination) is removed from the mind (awareness).
  • Bodhisattva: Māyā is the physical body (only imagination), and the mind leaves the body by means of astral travel and will not return to the physical body but remain in buddha land. That is the tenth-stage nirvana of the bodhisattvas. They become Buddhas there. They have reunion with the super self (the original Tathagata), emptiness, space, oneness.
  • Lotus sutra presents this nirvana (annihilationism/ucchedavada), which returns to emptiness (reunion with reality).
  • Lankavatara presents this nirvana (eternalism/sassatavada) with buddha lands: Mahesvara, citta-gocara (thought realm).
  • Other sutras seem to have different concepts, too, suggesting their authors did not understand or accept the original concept.
• Ālayavijñāna is storehouse consciousness, the Universal Mind. Just like all storehouses, this storehouse must keep everything that is stored in it. If a storehouse is destroyed, all the stored items would be lost. Ālayavijñāna could not be impermanent, as it is consciousness. When someone reunites with the reality (brahman), his or her contents inside the storehouse might be destroyed.
• citta is Nirvana:

[Lanka Chapter 2:] Even Nirvana and Samsara's world of life and death are aspects of the same thing, for there is no Nirvana except where is Samsara, and Samsara except where is Nirvana.

• The same is said in the Vedanta:

[Advaita Vedanta:] The world has no separate existence apart from Brahman.

• That is a major point that says Sarvastivādi māyāvāda (Mahayana) and Vedantin māyāvāda are the same.
• Brāhman is the main part of the ancient Vedic creationism, as the origin of cause and the original creator.

[Britannica:] Brahma, one of the major gods of Hinduism from about 500 BCE to 500 CE, who was gradually eclipsed by Vishnu, Shiva, and the great Goddess (in her multiple aspects).

• Mayavāda does not need to move on likely because it is not centerd around the brāhman priests as the sole guardians of the religious rituals.

Bhakti, in Hinduism, a movement emphasizing the mutual intense emotional attachment and love of a devotee toward a personal god and of the god for the devotee. According to the Bhagavadgita, a Hindu religious text, the path of bhakti, or bhakti-marga, is superior to the two other religious approaches, the path of knowledge (jnana) and the path of ritual and good works (karma). [...] Many, but not all, bhakti movements were open to people of both genders and all castes. Devotional practices included reciting the name of the god or goddess, singing hymns in praise of the deity, wearing or carrying identifying emblems, and undertaking pilgrimages to sacred places associated with the deity. [Bhakti Hinduism, Devotion & Rituals - Britannica]

• That is to surrender to the Lord.

if Arjuna fights remembering Kṛṣṇa, then he will be able to remember Kṛṣṇa at the time of death. But one must be completely surrendered in the transcendental loving service of the Lord. [Transcendental loving service and surrender]

• Abrahamic religions prefer submission.

After Completed Surrender

[Heart (Thich)] Avalokiteshvara [...] suddenly discovered that all of the five Skandhas are equally empty, and with this realisation he overcame all Ill-being.

• How that happened:

[Lanka Chapter 6:] When [...] the twofold egolessness is fully understood, and the inconceivable transformation death of the Bodhisattva is attained - that which remains is the self-nature of the Tathagatas [...] which is realized in their deepest consciousness is their own Buddha-nature revealed as Tathagata.

• the inconceivable transformation death of the Bodhisattva is attained : complete surrender
• their own Buddha-nature : each mortal has own buddha-nature, but not own nature.
• revealed as Tathagata : reaching the level of the super self: Noble Wisdom [āryajñāna] or anuttarasamyaksambodhi. The Heart Sutra prefers the latter in favour of prajña over jñāna.

Prajña (ध्यान, “wisdom”): the Dharma-saṃgraha (section 110) states that the Pali literature also informs us with these prajñā (panna (Pali): śruta-mayī (suta-maya panna), cintā-mayī (cinta-maya panna), bhāvanā-mayī (bhavana-maya panna). Prajña (Sanskrit) is paññā (Pali): Vipassanā-paññā, for example. But these are unrelated to Noble Wisdom [āryajñāna] or anuttarasamyaksambodhi.

• Māyāvādi bhakti has the purpose of seeking self, according to Śaṅkara:

Bhakti is the seeking of men’s own true self. Nārada defines Bhakti as the extreme one to God. Śāṇḍilya defines it as extreme ‘attachment to God’. Śaṅkara’s definition of Bhakti is on Advaitic point of view. He blends Bhakti and Jñāna. He does this in ‘Brahmasūtrabhaṣya and in Gītabhaṣya’. [Śaṅkara’s Definition of Bhakti (Lathika M. P.)]

• Māyāvāda is more of philosophical in nature, according to Krishna:

Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu [Krishna] said, “I am a Māyāvādī in the renounced order of life, and I do not even know what transcendental loving service to the Lord is. I simply float in the ocean of Māyāvāda philosophy. [CC Madhya 8.124]

• Brāhma fell from favour in Hindu religious movements. The same could be true to Sarvastivādi māyāvāda (Mahayana), too, but its sutras present the original Tathagata, who can be either Brāhma, Krishna or Siva.

[Dhammapada] Verse 396 - What is a Brāhman? He is no brahmin by mere lineage. Dispossessed, unattached, he is indeed the true brahmin.

• The Sakyamuni Buddha, who was born in a major Vedic society, had a great impact on the concept of brāhman.

Prajña an Amitabha God:

• Prajña (प्रज्ञ) is one of the twenty Amitābha gods in the Purana and Itihasa.
• Avalokiteśvara is Siva. Amitabha gods could be Amitabha Buddha. Prajña could be Prajña-paramita.
• Avalokiteśvara teaching about Prajña and maya (svabhāva-śūnya) as a Buddhist tradition is significant.

Ratvata (in) — the fifth Manu, during his epoch were Devabahu and six other sages, Gods named “Abhutarajasas. Vibhu was Indra, Amitabha and other three ganas of gods each 14 in number, Hiranyaroma and other SIX formed the saptarsis, Balabandhu and others were his sons, of the Priyavrata line. [THE PURANA INDEX VOLUME 3, page 100]

• Amitabha and other three ganas of gods: Amitabha and Avalokiteśvara (Śiva) are the names of gods not unique to Mahayana. Having these names together as the most important individuals makes Mahayana completely different from Theravada.
• Amitabha Ganas: Amitabha community (a Buddha-land probably qualifies as a ganas)
  • Ganas: a class of demigods who attend Śiva; community; troop; attendants;
  • 'Amitabha ganas' is only found in The Purana Index by V. R. Rallachandra Dikshitar, who was a professor of history and archaeology in the University of Madras and the author of standard text books on Indian history.

Sadhguru: In the yogic lore, the ganas are all Shiva’s friends. They were the ones who were always around him. Though he had disciples, a wife and many other admirers, his private company was always ganas.

5.1.20. Was māyā a discovery?

[Heart (Thich)] Avalokiteshvara [...] suddenly discovered that all of the five Skandhas are equally empty, and with this realisation he overcame all Ill-being [...] Whoever can see this no longer needs anything to attain.

• Thich Nhat Hanh's translation might be at odd with Lankavatara, Lotus and Prajñaparamita because in māyāvāda, prajñā, Amitabha and Avalokiteśvara are lumped together as the original Tathagata (mind/Brāhma). That is why there is nothing to attain, there is nothing to discover.
• The longer version of the Heart Sutra does not have the concept of discovery:

[Heart (Wiki):] 1.­11 “There is no suffering, no origin of suffering, no cessation of suffering, no path, no wisdom, no attainment, and no nonattainment.

• Avalokiteśvara did not discover the wisdom, but he just knew it the way we can discuss aboust māyā and brahma.

[Heart (Red, page 132-133):] Here, the bodhisattva's refuge is in wisdom alone [...] Thus, bodhisattvas know that all dharmas are marked with emptiness and that there is nothing to attain or not to attain. And realizing there is nothing to attain or not to attain, they take refuge in this realization.

The historical fact is the Mahayanist māyāvāda was originated by Vasubandhu and the Sarvastivādis. That is why he is considered as a second Buddha. Māyāvāda was considered special because it was a revolutionary Buddhist philosophy, although it contains no Buddhism (the Dhamma-Vinaya). Avalokiteśvara could only discover māyā (svabhāva-śūnya) and brāhma (gotra-svabhāva). There is nothing else to find.

[Ethan Mills:] some contemporary interpreters fail to understand how thoroughly revisionary and revolutionary Vasubandhu’s philosophy is

Vasubandhu rediscovered māyā (svabhāva-śūnya) in the Vedas and wrote about it until it became Sarvastivādi Māyāvāda. His final work the Trisvabhavanirdesha comprises three natures: māyā, imagination and reunion. He did however make them very complicated and indecipherable.

Self-Nature vs Sakkayaditthi

atta-vādupādāna: 'attachment to the ego-belief', is one of the 4 kinds of clinging (upādāna, q.v.).

• Avalokiteśvara only discovered the svakāya. In his mind was mind only (citta-matrata).

The Five Khandhas being ungovernable, are not Atta. Finding it ungovernable and unresponsive to one's own wish while contemplating and noting, and realising it as 'Non-Self', is Anattanupassana-nana. [Mahasi Sayadaw - Part 4]
[For Vasubandhu,] the “self” is made up of constantly-changing sensory organs, sensory impressions, ideas, and mental events. These separate, momentary elements are real, but their imagined unity—as an enduring “I”—is a false projection [...] Close philosophical and introspective attention reveals that what seemed like a solid, coherent whole is in fact a false mental construction based upon a failure to notice its countless, fluctuating parts. [2.1 Disproof of the Self (Jonathan C. Gold)]

• Each separate, momentary element is real as self. Self or awareness (the mind) appears inconstantly inside māyā (form) due to the false imagination, which Lankavatara discusses in detail: from māyā to nirvana via 10 stages of the nirvana of the boddhisattvas.
• Whose false imagination is it? Māyā cannot imagine, as it has no self (svābhāva); and thus, māyā's I”—is a false projection.
• However, māyā must reunite with the mind (the original Tathagata/brahma).

Yogacara (Yogachara / Vijnanavada / Vajrayana)

The Yogachara (or Vijnanavada) school was founded, according to tradition, by the brothers Asanga and Vasubandhu (4th/5th century CE) and by Sthiramati (6th century), who systematized doctrines found in the Lankavatara-sutra and the Mahayana-shraddhotpada-shastra (attributed to Ashvaghosha but probably written in Central Asia or in China). Later Mahayana and Vajrayana Buddhism include doctrines that were to be influenced by Yogachara teaching.

• The brothers had written too much. They must get their sutras read by millions.

Self is imagined, a construct (saṅkhāra) and a mistake.

To think with loving attachment, considering oneself as a living being, or an atta, individual or 'Self', in spite of the fact that in the personalities of themselves there exists only a continual phenomenal process of rupa and nama, is mere attaditthi. It is also called sakkayaditthi. "Sakkaya" means an aggregate of rupas and namas which obviously exists in the so-called body. To think of these aggregates of rupas and namas as a living being, or an atta - being, or "I" or "Self', is nothing but ditthi. It is known as sakkayaditthi, because of an erroneous conception or false belief in this aggregate of rupa-nama. [Mahasi Sayadaw - Part 6 of Brahmavihara Dhamma]

• Mahāyanist literatures do not have a term similar to sakkāyaditthi. However, they offer svakāya (sva-kāya / own body), which refers to inner body parts (or guts). Svakāya is related to svābhāvakāya (svābhāva-kāya / self-nature body).
• In terms of svakāya, Mahayana presents self (self-nature / svābhāva) inside the five aggregates and rejects self being outside them. That demonstrates self being awareness/consciousness. All the technical terms related to consciousness and nature (svābhāva) support the notion of self or the self system (citta-matrata).

L. Ron Hubbard (Author of Battlefield Earth) also founded a religion called Scientology. You don't get to know what it is without spending a significant amount of money. They focus on religion like a business.

You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion—L. Ron Hubbard

The Mahayanist Attavada:

[Lanka Chapter 6:] this Buddha-nature immanent in everyone is eternal, unchanging, auspicious.

• The meaning of Buddha-nature in everyone is provided in the Upanishads.

[Upanishads:] Atman is non-duality, all-pervading, the same in all creatures, pure, attributeless, beyond prakriti, and free from the changes of birth and growth.

• The notion of human being māyā without own svabhāva is designed for dehumanisation with significant impact on human psychology and general society.
• Māyā without own svabhāva is false.
• Nature being self is a false theory.
• Consciousness being self is another false theory.
• Sabhāva (nature): everything has its own sabhāva or dhamma (properties); for example, The nature of love, the nature of family, the nature of art, etc.
• Nature is not a theory but law and properties:
  • Human nature (sabhāva) is what makes human to be human;
  • Animal nature is animal instinct, shape, structure, etc.;
  • Nature (sabhāva) in that sense is not related to self.

[ Satyajit—A:] there is no difference between Dhamma and intrinsic nature (Sabhāva) [...] Visuddhimagga mentions that ‘Dhamma means but intrinsic nature.’ [...] Therefore, intrinsic nature is not supposed to exist independently. [...] (attano sabhâvaṃ dhâretiti dhammo’ DhsA.121-122)” [:] Dhamma is the bearer and sabhāva is that which is born by the Dhamma. [Then] Dhamma becomes the agent (atta) of sabhāva and that is against [Vibhajjavadi] Buddhism. Duality between Dhamma and Sabhâva is only an attribution made for the convenience of definition. For in actual sense Dhamma and Sabhāva denote the same actuality [...] the terms Dhamma and Sabhāva [are] interchangeably.

• Dhamma means nature, natural law, phenomena, instinct, way, properties, etc.
• Dhammata means natural, naturally, or as (its, his, her) nature goes.
• Sabhāva means nature.
• Sabhāva dhamma means natural law, natural phenomena, etc.
• Dhamma sabhāva means the nature of phenomenon, the nature of nature (law, phenomena, instinct, way, properties, etc. ).
• Dhamma is sabhāva: the natural law is natural.
• Sabhāva is a dhamma: nature is a law, a thing, a phenomena, a reality, etc.
• Dhamma and Sabhāva are not two things. Dhamma one thing and Sabhāva another thing—no, they are not.
• Dhamma is not self: nature is anatta.
• Sabhāva is anatta: nature is not self (not me, not mine, not I am).
• Buddha Dhamma: the laws of nature taught by the Vibhajjavadi Buddha.
• Buddha Sasana: the Vibhannavadi Buddha's teaching of the natural laws.

I don't even know where to start so I'll just give a small backround I'm 18 and have been diagnosed with depression for about 3.5 years now.
So this now comes my problem this year my old therapist retired and I recieved a new one for which I had to wait nearly 5 months to meet (from start of october to late february) due to that my mental state collapsed and I was very absent from school, february came and then I got sick(had lung infection) and due to all that I had tons of absences from school from that time I managed to make up for most of things(in my country almost everything is focused on tests so homework or lack of thereof wasn't a problem) now here comes the problem I had so much to make up that it lead to even more absences and some subjects have been left in the dust.
I know it's bad and I'm so mad at myself for not managing my time properly but I just didn't have energy and now my energy is even lower I feel like a zombie I haven't been to school for past 3 days.
Now the main problem is that in these 2 weeks I have so much work I don't even know what to do, tommorow I would have to have 2 regular tests(physics and psychology) but also make up the work for my german and on friday I would have to correct my math grade for it to be atleast a D (I currently pass with a D but my professor requires me to not have any Fs to pass which I do understand) and I have a test from my native language(and it's a lot of stuff it's a big lection about realism) and currently I just feel so small.
I don't have time nor will and it's just miserable and next week it's even worse I have 2 tests a day on average(some are regular around 3 of them and I have to write around 8... to) Does anyone have any advice on how to atleast get motivated to get a D in most subjects the only problems are maths and physics.
Maths becuase of the already states reason and physics becuase I currently pass with a C but in the last Exam I got a D and the professor doesn't let me get a grade higher than a D if I have Fs. So I'd have to correct that grade too. Which means another test.
I'm not so much worried about the final grade of subjects together becuase I would pass with an equvalent of a b-/b (in my country 1 is F and 5 is A and my overall grade at the end is 3.9-4 depending on my art grade since I'm still not graded in that but my headroom teacher is my art professor and he allowed me to do it through an oral exam which knowing him will be 3 questions and then recognizing perspectives)
I just need help to start becuase I don't know how.
Sorry for the rant I guess I needed to vent a bit and also I'm desperate. Sorry if some parts of the text aren't understandable english isn't my first language.

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

Edit: DO NOT message me a simple hi or hello, with no information about you, Put some effort in to your message like i have, come on. Day+Attempt#203
Hello everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read, I know its long, I know - I know. But its worth the read, Trust me. I appreciate you immensely.
Here's a bit about me,
My name is Jay, I live on the East coast of the US. I'm looking for love - like everyone else on here.., but you may not believe or even be doubtful that I've never had a GF before with me being 26, but its true. I'm simply just not willing to "be with" just anyone and I'm very picky. I want us to be a match, more than just have similar things in common.
One thing I have always been told is that I'm a "Real Catch, I'd be extremely lucky to have someone like you" - WELL THEN TAKE ME. I'M FREE. LOL.
About me:
Physically -
~I'm a semi-tall guy, around 5'10.
~I'm thin but muscular.
~I have dirty blonde/ brown hair.
~Changing colored eyes.
~A voice nice enough to melt all your safeguards and get right into your heart and weak spots.
~I do not have any tattoos or piercings. Though I would like to get some eventually.
If you'd like to see a picture of me just ask and I'll show you - IF I may see you as well, I simply just don't want a picture of me out there for anyone to see.
-If there's anything else you'd like to know just ask.
Otherwise -
~I do have 3 pet bunnies I would be more than happy to show you, they are extremely cute.
~I'm a very honest and down to earth guy.
~I'm very patient and easy going.
~I'm very curious and inquisitive. I will try to ask everything I can to learn all about you haha.
~I'm Very VERY Kind & Caring, I will probably ask how you are feeling a bajillion times a day, simply out of care for you.
~I can get pretty clingy, and will always want your attention and to be talking with you. If i have someone im interested in i wont want to talk to anyone else🤷‍♂️
~I'm very trustworthy - you can confide in me, and entrust your deepest secrets and I wont tell a soul.
~I'm a HUGE hopeless romantic, im old fashioned and will always try to impress you.
- I'm, a BIG softie even though I may look a smol bit intimidating, but I'd do just about anything to see you smile or laugh. And yes.., I do mean anything.
~I'm a big goof - I will get up to some silly shenanigans ALL the time, I will crack dumb jokes and send you memes and tik toks just to make you happy, even if its from across the room I'd wait to see your reaction lol.
~I'm extremely loyal, and would never even think of cheating.
~I will cook for you, and clean up too, even around the house, I'm very self productive and don't ask for much. Just don't forget to kiss the cook.
~I'd also love to just cuddle up and watch a movie or read a book together, anything to get us closer. Id try to take you out on dates whenever possible haha. I have a million SUPER romantic date ideas I have but have never had anyone interested enough in me to take out. Here's your chance ;)
~I will always want to share stuff I find interesting with you, and try to share every moment of every day with you. I'm not looking for someone who can only talk for a small amount of time, I want someone who's willing to put in all the effort I put into them back into me, it goes both ways. If I'm "with" someone you are my TOP priority nobody and nothing else would be. You would be the only person I'd truly want to talk to, so rest assured I would NEVER cheat, even more so because no one is interested in me - Hence why I'm here hahaha.
I'm sure there is more to me than this snippet but I cant think of more at the moment haha, so get to know me and find out more about me.
Some of my interests are: Engineering- I'm a nerd. I admit it. I love being technical and hands on, I love building things. All kinds of things, from furniture, machinery, and reverse engineering anything I find. I love learning how things work and trying to improve things.
Music - I prefer music with a very fast pace, or with some very meaningful lyrics I can relate to. I love to sing along to music and songs that have a deep meaning behind it I can sympathize with makes it all the better. Some bands I like are: Bad Omens, Beartooth, Demon Hunter, MIW, I9K - The list goes on. I'm a bit of a metalhead unfortunately.
TV Shows & Movies - I love watching shows, and I'd love to stream some shows and have some E-dates with you, to get to know you, or if you are close to me, maybe we could do it in person. Some shows I like or more of the Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Comedy, Action, stuff like: National Treasure, Halo, BattleBots, Rick and Morty, AHS, Anything Marvel or DC, The Witcher, Wednesday, The Sandman, The Magicians, The Umbrella Academy, ETC.
Gaming - Yes yes I know, Basic guy likes basic stuff. But gaming has been a thing for me since forever. I know most of you wont care or want to hear that, but I'll leave out the specifics on this part unless you are interested in that, MEGA Bonus points if you are.
Here's a lists of Cons to dating me-
~I'm not Ryan Reynolds. Disappointing, I know.
~I will fight you on what goes on pizza lol.
~I'm not rich.., Yet.
~I can't pronounce Worcestershire.
~I'm slightly forgetful, but with good reasoning.
~(Not really a con but- some might disagree) I still have ALL of my firsts, Do with that what you will c:
~I've got an endless pile of love and affection and no one to give it to! What a dilemma! Help me fix it?
Other than that I'll save the rest for a bit more of getting to know each other.
Here's a bit of what I'm looking in you:
~Preferably someone with lots of free time, and loves to chit chat. I'm seriously not interested in getting 1 message a day. Though I understand people get busy, I personally am not willing to try to learn about you and form something with 7 responses a week. Effort gets reciprocated and I appreciate the time you put in me.
~Physically: -I’m not personally attracted to anyone who’s “curvy/ chubby”, I apologize. Not a shallow thing, I just dont have the attraction chemical in my brain for that, I’m sorry. -If you’re shorter than me, thats a plus to me. -I love dimples, if you have those when you smile, bonus points 😊 - I’m not sure what else to put.., but as for nsfw wise find out😂
~I'm a sucker for a different accent other than American, and if you have an Posh English accent you have already won my heart.
~I'm also only really looking for someone within the ages of 18-35. I don't want anyone old enough to be my mom lol.
~I'd prefer (But not a must) people NOT on the other side of the world, as other time zones SUCK. I don't expect to find anyone who also has never had a boyfriend either, but that would be a real plus. I also don't mind a LDR, but I don't want that forever. But it gives us time to get to know each other.
But as for attributes I'm looking for in you:
~Someone who is above all else very very Loyal and would never cheat.
~Someone who is Honest, and will tell me the truth over a little white lie.
~Someone who is Kind & Caring, who'd constantly check on me, and accept me for who I am & help me improve day to day.
~Someone who is trustworthy, and I can count on to keep my secrets safe, or even just help me remember things.., I do tend to be somewhat forgetful.
~Someone who is very Patient and wants to see me succeed and will help me do so, just like I would help you. Even if its small day to day things, I would appreciate your company ANY time.
~I want a partner who is Affectionate, can reciprocate, and loves to snuggle and talk about their day, and what their interests are, and what makes them happy.
~Someone who can admit they get clingy or overprotective is a bonus.
~A partner with good communication is key, if something wrong we have to be able to talk about it.
~A partner who likes to game with me or at least watch me play would be a plus but not a requirement.
~Someone with a good sense of humor and like to joke around, I am a big goof after all and I love to joke around. Sending memes is always appreciated and good to cheer people up too!
~I'd prefer someone with the same music taste, but not a requirement, Plus if you wouldn't mind if I send you love songs occasionally that's a bonus, or sending me some back haha.
~Being willing to voice call is a must, Texting forever is not the way to go. I have to know what your voice is like haha, later on we can video call if you are comfortable with that. I prefer chatting on Discord because Reddit messages of any kind I'm sure you know are unreliable and sucky in general. So please send me your discord if you have one :)
~I would LOVE to see picture of your pets if you have any. Bonus points if it includes your beautiful self haha.
I'm sure there is more I'm looking for but I cant think of it right now haha, I will have to edit this when I think of it.
Please tell me about you as an opener! I told you a good bit about me, now its your turn haha.
Tell me some things like -
~What's your name?
~Where are you from?
~How old are you?
~What are your hobbies / interests?
~What about my post interested you?
~Where is my TV Remote?!
~Selfie? Pet pics?
~Hit me with your best joke or meme :)
~What's your favorite candy?
I'd LOVE to get to know you, and see where things go.
But yeah, I know it was long I'm sorry haha. Send me a message and lets get to know each other! :)

Hey everyone! I’m a May 2024 student with a predicted 45 and a straight-7 average for the whole two years. I’ve meticulously crafted my notes, and I’m now offering them for sale. If you need assistance and can’t afford to pay, I’m more than willing to help, but please remember I also have my own university tuition to consider, haha.
I’ll be selling the following:
Biology SL:
Comprehensive, FULL handwritten notes. These notes are a culmination of the Oxford course companion, teacher’s notes, self-study, and other reliable sources, ensuring you have everything you need for the 7.
Business HL:
Typed notes for the entire syllabus, including definitions (all sub-topics HL and SL). Compiled from personal study, class discussions, Paul Hoang’s book, online research, and other sources.
Economics HL:
A separate document with all the definitions you could possibly need for the course.
A handwritten notebook with every graph you could need (and some to help enhance your grade), cross-checked with the syllabus to make sure everything is included.
A combination of typed and handwritten notes for the course (some chapters not included), with real-life examples.
A question bank I compiled for each unit with all the most difficult questions.
Handwritten sheets for every formula you need to know.
English B HL:
Resources with everything you need to know for IO, literary works, and all text types.
Get in touch for more information about English B resources.
Arabic A SL:
Get in touch for more information about Arabic A resources.
Note:
*Will be selling my IAs (all received 7s) and TOK work once grades are released.
*Can provide proof of grades if requested.
*For handwritten notes, I can send a sample to see if you can clearly understand my handwriting.
*Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help or any advice you need aside from the resources.
*I couldn’t possibly include everything I have in the descriptions, so if you need something specific, hit me up, and I’ll take a look.
*Everything can be sold separately FYI; there's no pressure to bundle anything - take what you need.

 So for context, we both met in a foreign country, that we are both currently living in, three months ago. We had a meet cute in a kekeh and spent the rest of the day on the beach talking. Neither of us were overly firtly in person, but after he got my number he made it very clear he was interested. While I didn't see him as the most attractive, I had a great time and was open to continue communication with him. While getting to know him I've learned that he is a truly amazing man. We have similar values, no desire for kids, similar location preferences, both religious, he's so patient and calm, makes me feel so beautiful and comfortable, and very communicative. He started a foundation for widows, that helps with mental health and finding employment!!! We first met on the beach in the capital city. Since then we have mainly been apart. We met once in April in an in-between city for an event in a mutual friend's town. I went into that meeting believing that I would tell him we would be just friends. We wound up having sex (that I initiated) and I did not bring up just being friends. Later we had a beach weekend together, I was unimpressed that he wanted to stay inside the room and sleep most of the time. I let him know and he said he would work on that. Most recently, I just spent two weeks in the capital where we met multiple times, but conversation wasn't as great as the first time we met or over the phone. So 85% of our relationship is over text. While his looks have grown on me and I enjoy my time spent with him, I can't seem to shake that there's not a "spark." We are sexually active and there's no complaints there. I have communicated this lack of spark before and he told me that it's fine and I can take all the time I need. On that same day, he was ready to tell me he loves me. However, I feel like I'm stringing him along. I just don't know how long is an appropriate time to continue seeing someone that you are interested in but not sure if romantically. 

Some issues I see on my side are that I am very happy being single and when I see myself in the future, I'm single. And the posts and influencers I follow re-enforce that. We have a medium distance relationship at the moment, as he lives in the capital and I live in the provinces. Whenever we are in the same city or are communicating I am fine. But if I am back in the provinces, I begin to question myself and why I am even trying to pursue this. I also worry that because we are both foreigners here, that I have found an emotional support system in him as we communicate in English and can complain about the country we are in together. So any advice on how to work on the above would be appreciated as well.
I know I sound like a horrible person but I'm really trying not to be.
Tdlr: I (24f) am talking to an amazing man (31m) and while interested in him, I feel like the "spark" is missing and am not sure how long to wait before ending things.

Is it an experience Sociotypes frequently have whereafter "Talking with someone" That Terrible-Terrible feeling gets more aggressive?
Word's skew my 'Self'. The mark of a crazy (hu)man is that they start studying language. About a month prior to discovering the word 'Schizotypal' and/or this sub I had purchased Dictionaries on English, mathematics, Latin, Greek, and Finnish. These texts led me here.
About a year ago I had a particularly spicy LSD experience. Just shy of 500ug, all was fine until I had lit that 1 gram joint. Psychosis. It had been a while since I had been to neverland. Like a painted ship on a painted sea. At some point I started crying, the boys were trying to comfort me and everything was getting worse. "You should try therapy" I heard from the mist.
"I put my Pride through the paper shredder, then I organized the strips out of order, glued them back together, and ran in through once more. Not a shred of meaning left, just obscure symbols with no reference."-The Wizard
I signed up for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and it was terrible. "How are you?", "How do you feel?" "Tell me about yourself.", "Do you believe you have trauma?". Acting as if there weren't one emotion that has different flavors: Despair. How can any 'One' let alone a psychologist claim to understand the human psyche whilst standing within it?
At the end of every session I got the "I want you to really think about what you want to talk about next session", as if thinking wasn't the issue. They tried to pull the same shid on my sister at the nut-house. "Oh your not ready to leave, you need to spend more time thinking." I saw what it was like in there, Pupils like saucers, pumped full of their serotonergic drugs, TVs mounted in such a way you can't divert your gaze. Posters, pamphlets, sheets everywhere, "Mental Illness", "Depression", "Anxiety", "Help", etc.
No offence Doc, but fuck you and your words you ignorant/malicious cunt.
The many men, so beautiful! And they all dead did lie: And a thousand thousand slimy things Lived on; and so did I.
I looked upon the rotting sea, And drew my eyes away; I looked upon the rotting deck, And there the dead men lay.
I looked to heaven, and tried to pray; But or ever a prayer had gusht, A wicked whisper came, and made My heart as dry as dust.
I closed my lids, and kept them close, And the balls like pulses beat; For the sky and the sea, and the sea and the sky Lay dead like a load on my weary eye, And the dead were at my feet.
Perhaps this thought got to be a little Disorganized, out of order
Disorderly

Original post at the Alternate Script Bureau blog
Greek was the first writing system ever devised in human history to indicate vowels. With thousands of years of history behind it, the Greek script conveys a sense of timeless elegance with its round lowercase letterforms, whose letters are widely used in the mathematics, science and engineering fields to represent a wide variety of concepts, including π (pi), the circumference of the circle. Having said that, what would it take to use the Greek alphabet to write English?
In line with the previous Cyrillic, Arabic and Hebrew adaptations, I'll call this 'Yet Another Greek English Alphabet', or YAGEA for short.

Adaptation process

There are only 24 letters in the Greek alphabet. Most notably, it does not have letters for the /v/, /ð/, /ŋ/, /ʃ/, /ʒ/, /tʃ/, /dʒ/, /w/, and /j/ sounds found in English. But phonetic precision is my middle name, so none of these cannot be allowed to be writtten ambiguously. This can only mean 1 thing: Diacritics!
These days, the letters β /b/ and δ /d/ are mostly pronounced as the 'soft' sounds of /v/ and /ð/ respectively in modern Greek orthography. Let's go with that - since /b/ and /d/ are more common than /v/ and /ð/, the latter sounds can be indicated using a dot below diacritic ◌̣ as follows:

• Β β /b/ (as in born) -> Β̣ β̣ /v/ (as in van)
• Δ δ /d/ (as in done) -> Δ̣ δ̣ /ð/ (as in the)

This leaves γ /g/. Similarly, its pronunciation had softened to /ɣ/~/ŋ/ over the centuries, but since /ɣ/ doesn't exist in English we can safely ignore it. Instead, let's overload it to represent the 'soft G' /dʒ/ sound with the dot below diacritic. For the /ŋ/ sound, Greek does use doubled G γγ but I felt that this would introduce ambiguity when it precedes or follows the /g/ sound since it would be hard to tell which was which, so a simple diagraph of N + G will do.

• Γ γ /g/ (as in get) -> Γ̣ γ̣ /dʒ/ (as in just)
• Νγ νγ = /ŋ/ (as in sing)

The other fricative sounds can then be represented as such:

• Σ σ, ς /s/ (as in soon) -> Σ̣ σ̣, ς̣ /ʃ/ (as in share)
• Ζ ζ /z/ (as in zoo) -> Ζ̣ ζ̣ /ʒ/ (as in closure)
• Κ κ /k/ (as in call) -> Κ̣ κ̣ /tʃ/ (as in change. By analogy with γ /g/ -> γ̣ /dʒ/, since κ is the unvoiced counterpart of γ)

Note: depending on your font, the dot diacritic may not show as intended, especially on older devices.

For the /h/ sound, I'll use χ, which traditionally represented an aspirated /kʰ/ sound but now stands for the fricative /x/ sound, which is close enough to /h/ to be alright.
Vowels were more straightforward. With 7 vowel letters to choose from, almost each letter can easily be assigned to their English counterparts without much effort. While υ traditionally represents the /y/ sound as in Chinese 鱼 *yú*** and French tu**, it etymologically derives from the same letter as Latin U , so I'll treat it as such.

• Α α = /a/ (as in sun)
• Ε ε = /ɛ/ (as in head)
• Ι ι = /ɪ/ (as in bid)
• Ω ω = /ɒ/ (as in pot)
• Υ υ = /ʊ/ (as in pull)

This leaves just 2 more vowels: ο and η.
The historical pronunciation of 'ο' is essentially the first part of English /oʊ/, so let's go with that. As for 'η', it's now pronounced /i/ in modern Greek, but was historically pronounced with an /e/ sound. Rather co-incidentally, the schwa vowel /ə/ still doesn't have a letter - so why not just get η to write it? It's the most common vowel in English after all.

• Ο ο = /oʊ/~/əʊ/ (as in dough)
• Η η = /ə/~/ɜ/ (as in comma)

And for that odd /æ/ vowel, let's just put an oxía accent on top of α.

• Ά ά = /æ/ (as in can)

The diphthongs can then be written as digraphs of these 7 vowel letters:

• Αι αι = /aɪ/ (as in high)
• Αυ αυ = /aʊ/ (as in now)
• Ει ει = /eɪ/ (as in say)
• Ωι ωι = /ɔɪ/ (as in toy)
• Ίυ ιυ = /ju/ (as in use)
• Ωω ωω = /ɔː/ (as in bought)
• Ιε ιε = /iː/~/ij/ (as in bead)
• Ου ου = /uː/~/uw/ (as in pool. This diagraph's primarily used to write the sound in Greek)

Finally, to write the /w/ and /j/ sounds, let's slap an oxía on top of the letters for /ʊ/ and /ɪ/ respectively, similarly to Cyrillic's use of the breve likewise:

• Ύ ύ = /w/ (as in way)
• Ί ί = /j/ (as in yet)

And the alphabet is ready!

Letters

Consonants

/p/ Π π (port)	/b/ Β β (best)	/f/ Φ φ (fun)	/v/ Β̣ β̣ (van)	/m/ Μ μ (moon)
/t/ Τ τ (test)	/d/ Δ δ (done)	/θ/ Θ θ (thank)	/ð/ Δ̣ δ̣ (the)	/n/ Ν ν (new)
/k/ Κ κ (call)	/g/ Γ γ (get)	.	.	/ŋ/ Νγ νγ (sing)
/s/ Σ σ ς (soon)	/z/ Ζ ζ (zoo)	/ʃ/ Σ̣ σ̣ ς̣ (share)	/ʒ/ Ζ̣ ζ̣ (closure)	.
/tʃ/ Κ̣ κ̣ (change)	/dʒ/ Γ̣ γ̣ (just)	.	.	.
/w/ Ύ ύ (way)	/ɹ/ Ρ ρ (run)	/l/ Λ λ (laugh)	/j/ Ί ί (yell)	/h/ Χ χ (house)

Special contractions

Greek also comes with 2 letters that represent consonant clusters, both of which exist in English and can be used as such.

/ks/, /gz/ Ξ ξ (box)	/ps/ Ψ ψ (hipster)

Vowels

/a/~/ʌ/ Α α (sun)	/æ/ Ά ά (can)
/ɛ/ Ε ε (head)	/ə/~/ɜ/ Η η (comma)
/ɪ/ Ι ι (bid)	/iː/ Ιε ιε (bead)
/ɔ/~/ɑ/ Ω ω (pot)	/ɔː/ Ωω ωω (bought)
/ʊ/ Υ υ (pull)	/uː/ Ου ου (cool)

Diphthongs

/aɪ/ Αι αι (high)	/aʊ/ Αυ αυ (now)
/eɪ/ Ει ει (day)	/ɔɪ/ Ωι ωι (toy)
/oʊ/~/əʊ/ Ο ο (dough)	/ju/ Ίυ ίυ (use)

Syllable structure

Greek is a linear alphabet that works just like Latin.
E.g. /stɹakt/ = στρακτ

Letter ordering

There are 2 ways to order the letters of the YAGEA alphabet: the traditional Greek ABG order and my custom linguistically-based PBF order.

Traditional ABG-based order

All letters with diacritics will be treated as separate letters which are placed after the original.
Hence the order shall be: Α Ά Β Β̣ Γ Γ̣ Δ Δ̣ Ε Ζ Ζ̣ Η Θ Ι Ί Κ Κ̣ Λ Μ Ν Ξ Ο Π Ρ Σ Σ̣ Τ Υ Ύ Φ Χ Ψ Ω.

Custom PBF order

I also devised a letter ordering inspired by those in South and Southeast Asian scripts such as Devanagari and Khmer that groups letters based on the linguistic features of their sounds: (1) bilabial consonants, (2) alveolar consonants, (3) velar consonants including /ks/ Ξ, (4) sibilants including /ps/ Ψ, (5) affricates, (6) approximants + glottal consonants, and (7) vowels.
The PBF order, including groups, shall be: Π Β Φ Β̣ Μ, Τ Δ Θ Δ̣ Ν, Κ Γ Ξ, Σ Ζ Σ̣ Ζ̣ Ψ, Κ̣ Γ̣, Ύ Ρ Λ Ί Χ, Α Ά Ε Ι Η Ο Υ.

Sample texts

Universal Declaration of Human Rights

Ίυνιβ̣ηρσηλ Δεκληρεισ̣ην ωφ Χiυμην Ραιτς
Ωλ χιυμην βιενγς αρ βωρν φριε άνδ ικυηλ ιν διγνιτι άνδ ραιτς. Δ̣ει αρ ενδαυδ ύιθ ριεζην άνδ κωνσ̣ηνς άνδ σ̣υδ άκτ τούηρδς ύαν ηναδ̣ηρ ιν η σπιριτ ωφ βραδ̣ηρχυδ.
(Αρτικηλ 1 ωφ δ̣η Ίυνιβ̣ηρσηλ Δεκληρεισ̣ην ωφ Χιυμην Ραιτς)

Excerpt from a short story I wrote a while ago

For comparison, you can view the original one here.
Αι χάδ η στρεινγ̣ δριεμ δ̣άτ ναιτ.
Ιν δ̣άτ δριεμ, Αι φαυνδ μαισελφ ηύεικηνινγ, λαιινγ ων σωφτ γριεν γρας, ιν η φάντησι 8-βιτ ύηρλδ σηραυνδηδ βαι κωμπιυτηρς. Δ̣η λυμινηνς ωφ βλινγκινγ μοδεμς άνδ ύωρμ, κ̣ιηρφυλ κ̣ιπτιυν μιυζικ φιλδ δ̣ι ερ. Ωλδ̣ο εβ̣ριθινγ λυκδ βλωκι άνδ σκύερ, ιτ βρωωτ μι βάκ τυ δ̣οζ δεις. Ωφ ωλ δ̣η κωμπιυτηρς Αι σωω, 1 ωφ δ̣εμ ύης πλειινγ μαι φειβ̣ρητ σωνγ! Αι γ̣αμπ άνδ λιεπ ιν γ̣ωι οβ̣ηρ δ̣η σαιτ. Αι δ̣εν σωω μαι χαυς, άνδ Αι σεδ “Χαι” τυ μαι βεστ μειτς, χυ ύηρ ύειτινγ αυτσαιδ. Ύι ύωωκδ τυγεδ̣ηρ, χάβ̣ινγ η κ̣ιηρι κ̣άτ ηβαυτ δ̣η κωμπιυτηρ γειμ Αι ύης ύηρκινγ ων ηρλιηρ.
“Σο ύατς δ̣άτ κυλ γειμ γωνα βι ηβαυτ, ει?” ύαν ωφ δ̣εμ ασκδ. “Ιφ ίυ ληβ̣δ Μαριο, ίυλ ληβ̣ δ̣ις!” Αι σεδ. “Ωωσημ!!! Κάντ ύειτ τυ σι ιτ!” Ινσαιδ μι δ̣η φαιηρ τυ κιεπ μι γοινγ βικειμ στρωνγγηρ.
Ύι ύωωκδ ιντυ η β̣ιβ̣ιδ σανσετ. Αι ρεμινισδ δ̣η μεμηρις ωφ παστ σαμηρς, πλειινγ ρετρο β̣ιδιο γειμς ιν δ̣η κυλ σ̣ειδ, ιβ̣ην δ̣ο δ̣η σαν αυτσαιδ πιεκδ άτ 42 διγριες άνδ μελτηδ εβ̣ριθινγ ελς.

More examples

These are clippings of random quotes from English literature and famous English-speaking politicians, re-rendered in Yet Another Greek English Alphabet.

1. "Χουεβ̣ηρ γαβ̣ηρνς Σινγηπωρ μαστ χάβ̣ δ̣άτ αιην ιν χιμ. Ωρ γιβ̣ ιτ απ. Δ̣ις ις νωτ η γειμ ωφ καρδς! Δ̣ις ις ίωρ λαιφ άνδ μαιν! Αιβ̣ σπεντ η χολ λαιφταιμ βιλδινγ δ̣ις άνδ άς λωνγ άς Αιμ ιν κ̣αργ̣, νοβαδι ις γοινγ τυ νωκ ιτ δαυν." [1]
2. "Φαρ βετηρ ιτ ις τυ δερ μαιτι θινγς, τυ ύιν γλωριης τραιημφς, ιβ̣ην δ̣ο κ̣εκηρδ βαι φειλιηρ, δ̣άν τυ τεικ ράνγκ ύιθ δ̣οζ πυρ σπιριτς χου νιεδ̣ηρ ενγ̣ωι μακ̣ νωρ σαφηρ μακ̣, βικωζ δ̣ει λιβ̣ ιν δ̣η γρει τύαιλαιτ δ̣άτ νος νιεδ̣ηρ β̣ικτηρι νωρ διφιετ." [2]
3. "Αι ύαντηδ ίυ τυ σι ύατ ριελ καριγ̣ ις, ινστεδ ωφ γετινγ δ̣ι αιδιη δ̣άτ καριγ̣ ις η μάν ύιθ η γαν ιν χις χάνδ. Ιτς ύεν ίυ νο ίúρ λικδ βιφωρ ίυ βιγιν βατ ίυ βιγιν ενιύει άνδ ίυ σι ιτ θρου νο μάτηρ ύατ." [3]
4. "Ιτ ύης δ̣η βεστ ωφ ταιμς, ιτ ύης δ̣η ύηρστ ωφ ταιμς, ιτ ύης δ̣ι ειγ̣ ωφ ύιζδημ, ιτ ύης δ̣ι ειγ̣ ωφ φουλισ̣νης, ιτ ύης δ̣ι επηκ ωφ βιλιεφ, ιτ ύης δ̣ι επηκ ωφ ινκριδιυλιτι, ιτ ύης δ̣η σιεζην ωφ λαιτ, ιτ ύης δ̣η σιεζην ωφ δαρκνης, ιτ ύης δ̣η σπρινγ ωφ χοπ, ιτ ύης δ̣η ύιντηρ ωφ δισπερ." [4]
5. "Ύαι διδ ίυ δυ ωλ δ̣ις φωρ μι?" χι ασκδ. "Αι δωντ διζηρβ̣ ιτ. Αιβ̣ νεβ̣ηρ δαν ενιθινγ φωρ ίυ." "Ίυ χάβ̣ βιεν μαι φρενδ," ριπλαιδ Κ̣αρληττ. "Δ̣άτ ιν ιτσελφ ις η τριμενδης θινγ." [5]
6. "Ιφ ίυ κάνωτ ριεδ ωλ ίωρ βυξ... Φωνδηλ δ̣εμ - πιηρ ιντυ δ̣εμ, λετ δ̣εμ φωλ οπην ύερ δ̣ει ύιλ, ριεδ φρωμ δ̣η φηρστ σεντηνς δ̣άτ ηρεστς δ̣ι αι, σετ δ̣εμ βάκ ων δ̣η σ̣ελβ̣ς ύιθ ίωρ ον χάνδς, ηρεινγ̣ δ̣εμ ων ίωρ ον πλάν σο δ̣άτ ίυ άτ λιεστ νο ύερ δ̣ει αρ. Λετ δ̣εμ βι ίωρ φρενδς; λετ δ̣εμ, άτ ενι ρειτ, βι ίωρ ηκύειντηνσης." [6]
7. "Ιτ ύης ων δ̣η φηρστ δει ωφ δ̣η Νιυ Ίιηρ δ̣άτ δ̣ι ηναυνσμηντ ύης μειδ, ωλμοστ σιμηλτεινιησλι φρωμ θριε ωβζηρβ̣ητωρις, δ̣άτ δ̣η μοσ̣ην ωφ δ̣η πλάνητ Νεπτιυν, δ̣ι αυτηρμοστ ωφ ωλ δ̣η πλάνητς δ̣άτ ύιελ ηβαυτ δ̣η σαν, χάδ βικαμ β̣ερι ιράτικ. Ωγιλβ̣ιε χάδ ωλρεδι κωλδ ητενσ̣ην τυ η σησπεκτηδ ριταρδεισ̣ην ιν ιτς β̣ηλωσιτι ιν Δισεμβηρ. Σακ̣ η πιες ωφ νιυς ύης σκερσλι καλκιυλειτηδ τυ ιντρηστ η ύηρλδ δ̣η γρειτηρ πωρσ̣ην ωφ χους ινχάβιτηντς ύερ ανηύερ ωφ δ̣ι ιξιστηνς ωφ δ̣η πλάνητ Νεπτιυν, νωρ αυτσαιδ δ̣ι άστρηνωμικηλ πρηφεσ̣ην διδ δ̣η σαβσικύηντ δισκαβ̣ηρι ωφ η φειντ ριμοτ σπεκ ωφ λαιτ ιν δ̣η ριεγ̣ην ωφ δ̣η πηρτηρβδ πλάνητ κωωζ ενι β̣ερι γρειτ ιξαιτμηντ. Σαιηντιφικ πιεπηλ, χαυεβ̣ηρ, φαυνδ δ̣ι ιντελιγ̣ηνς ριμαρκηβηλ ιναφ, ιβ̣ην βιφωρ ιτ βικειμ νον δ̣άτ δ̣η νιυ βωδι ύης ράπιδλι γροινγ λαργ̣ηρ άνδ βραιτηρ, δ̣άτ ιτς μοσ̣ην ύης κύαιτ διφρηντ φρωμ δ̣ι ωρδηρλι προγρες ωφ δ̣η πλάνητς, άνδ δ̣άτ δ̣η διφλεκσ̣ην ωφ Νεπτιυν άνδ ιτς σάτηλαιτ ύης βικαμινγ ναυ ωφ άν ανπρεσιδηντηδ καινδ." [7]
8. "Δ̣ερ ις η γλωριης ρεινβο δ̣άτ βεκηνς δ̣οζ ύιθ δ̣η σπιριτ ωφ άδβ̣ενκ̣ηρ. Άνδ δ̣ερ αρ ρικ̣ φαινδινγς άτ δ̣ι ενδ ωφ δ̣άτ ρεινβο. Τυ δ̣η ίανγ άνδ δ̣η νωτ του ολδ, Αι σει λυκ άτ δ̣η χηραιζην, φαινδ δ̣άτ ρεινβο, γο ραιδ ιτ. Νωτ ωλ ύιλ βι ρικ̣; κύαιτ η φιυ ύιλ φαινδ η β̣ειν ωφ γολδ; βατ ωλ χου πηρσ̣υ δ̣άτ ρεινβο ύιλ χάβ̣ η γ̣ωιης άνδ εξιλιρειτινγ ραιδ άνδ σαμ πρωφιτ." [8]

Salam aleykoum. I'm 15 now. I'm here to talk about my really bad skill at Arabic, since in our country no one really use Arabic Fous7a, my skills are really terrible, and i am not really an Arabic watcher, i am more of an American and French watcher, and this really impacted my grades positively and negatively, my grades in English and French are much better than Arabic, you may say that education will help you fix it, but now, these lazy teachers are nowhere helping me, in primary schools they teach you about alphabets and stuff, i was okay with that i had good grade but when i jumped to middle school everything had go badly, teachers were talking more complex and i couldn't keep up with it, and i am too shy to say to the teacher that i don't understand, in exams, i was passing the whole hours trying to understand what the hell is the text saying. If you have any recommendation to help me.

Hello everyone,
Before I begin, I wanted to apologize in advance for my English, as it is not my first language.
I (22F) am in a 15-month relationship with my fiance (23M) (he proposed this January). We love each other dearly but I sometimes am afraid of where our relationship is going because I am not 100% sure he is the right person for me. He treats me like a queen, spends all his money on me (at cost of his own comfort) , regularly gives me expensive gifts, showers me with compliments, attention and love every day and I love him for that truly but there are a few things that just sit at the back of my mind and keep bothering me.
I come from a good and well-off family and I grew up very spoiled and loved. Him, on the other hand, practically grew up on his own, unloved and uncared for, his mother already has two divorces and if talking about finances, his family is not as well-off as mine. The difference shows in our houses, cars, clothes and past experiences (for example, I travelled all around the world as a child and he only visited 3 foreign countries in his life). Although we both are considered upper middle class in our country as our standard of living is significantly above the average. There is a lot of trauma in him because he was abandoned by both his biological father and step-father who he grew up with. I don't have any family related traumas and it is often hard for me to relate and support him in times of need (although I do it anyway, I just feel very drained afterwards).
Our interests and mentality are also quite different. I love reading books, playing different musical instruments, learning foreign languages and his interests are completely different. He is more into sports, is good at physical labour (he is the only male in his household and is used to fixing things around the house), driving and etc. It's kind of hard to explain but basically I am more into intellectually stimulating kinds of activities and he is very practical and grounded. I really dislike always being the one to entertain him with different interesting tales and stories or sharing what's on the news. I am a great listener and I love learning new things from people but I sometimes find myself to not be as amused or impressed by what my fiance has to tell me as opposed to, for example, some of my male friends and colleagues. That being said, I do not find him stupid in the slightest. He is actually very smart and has graduated with honors, like I did, it's just that many of our interests don't align.
Then, after we graduated, I landed a position in an extremely prestigious international firm. He started working at a very promising government job with a great career potential. I was very proud of him and him working in that sphere made me respect him a lot. But our relationship had to go long-distance because his job required him to move to a different city. Around that time I made up my mind that I will say yes to his proposal (he started planning it very early on), we introduced each other to our families and started planning our future. A few months later, he decided to quit his job primarily because it was very hard for him to do long-distance and he couldn't bear not seeing me every day. I tried changing his mind but failed to do so. Now he is working a different job which I honestly absolutely despise. I will not go into details as it is a little bit hard to explain but now he basically plays video games for a living. His new job actually pays much better than his previous one and he does earn more than me but the prestige isn't there and I don't even know how to tell my parents or friends about what he does. Especially when I myself I work in a very regarded company, do I just tell everyone that my soon-to-be-husband is a gamer? I really do not mean to sound condescending but it is seriously eating me up inside. Such a stark difference in our jobs just further highlights the difference in our interests that I mentioned earlier.
Our ambitions and vision of the future are also not the same. He says he will be the happiest man in the world when we become a family, when we have kids and he is happy every day simply because we're together and that financial success or money doesn't define happiness for him at all. And although I'm okay with temporary financial struggles, I want him to always strive for success and not want to settle for less... But I also don't want him to burn himself out doing something that he hates. So I just feel conflicted and it is also the reason as of why I didn't push or make him stay at his previous job although I really wanted him to.
There are other issues in our relationship such as extreme jealousy and control from his side and him being very obsessive and possessive about me. He also wants to see me every day and be in touch 24/7 which sometimes get exhausting. Once when I tried breaking up with him, he said that he doesn't want to live a life without me and even threatened to k*ll himself. Admittedly, I too am not a saint and I know I can be manipulative, jealous and overly demanding at times. So our relationship can be super toxic sometimes. What is interesting is that he was never like this in his previous relationships. Also, himm being this invested in us and losing his "former self" because of our relationship made his mother and sisters dislike me pretty badly.
But the good aspects overweigh the bad ones most of the time and they make it hard for me to leave him and end this relationship. He showed me what a man in love is capable of, he gives me the most amazing princess treatment ever, is a real gentleman, supports me in every way that he can, pays for everything, sends flowers almost weekly, even when he has no money himself, he just sells his things and eats fast food just so he can keep affording to buy gifts for me and keep taking me to expensive restaurants. Our sex life is also fantastic, he is an incredible and attentive lover and is also super horny for me which I love. Sometimes when we're together for the whole day, we can go up to 8 rounds and how he makes me feel is heaven. So no complaints here. He is also tall and handsome and is very much my type physically.
All in all, I love him very much and I understand that in many ways I am very lucky to have an amazing and loving man like him. I appreciate everything that he does for our relationship. I feel very much loved and desired when I'm with him. But I am afraid that issues that I described make us fundamentally incompatible and can be classified as deal-breakers... I know that if we break up, my heart will be broken and I don't want to lose him. But I am also very afraid to choose a wrong partner for life.
This whole text probably turned out super incohesive and messy but I just wanted to get everything off my chest and possibly get an opinion from outside. What do you think? Are my feelings valid or are my expectations too high?