Daycare in my home letter for termination

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/WholePomegranate5342 posting in TrueOffMyChest
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Long
Original - 13th February 2024
Update - 9th May 2024
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My Parents Tried to Screw Over My Dying StepMother, Blew Up All Of Our Lives Instead
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TLDR; My bio parents tried to screw my terminally ill stepmother out of trust fund money, but she caught on and now no one on my side of the family gets anything.
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My (17F) stepmother "Jane" is a wonderful, wonderful woman. She and my father got married when I was 4, and she's been a rock in my life ever since. My mother was always my primary caregiver, but up until that point her relationship with my father was acrimonious and I basically never saw him. Jane was the reason they developed a stable co-parenting relationship, she encouraged everyone having a good relationship with each other and was always there to support me and my mom when things got rough.
Jane was always a really hard worker. When she met my dad, he was living out of a hotel and my mother was doing everything in her power to keep me away from him because she was petty and angry that their relationship didn't work out. Meanwhile Jane had a great job, a nice house, helped my dad get back on his feet, negotiated a visitation schedule with my mom (who hated her for a long time), and made sure my dad sent us money every week because neither one of them could afford an attorney to negotiate child support payments. Jane had no reason to do any of these things but as I got older she made it clear that she loved me as much as she loved my (half) brothers who were born a few years later. I even have my own room in her house because at the time we lived with my grandparents / various boyfriends of my mom and Jane felt that I needed a more stable environment than that. She's like the opposite of the evil stepmom.
When I was 15, Jane won a big lawsuit against an airline company and got awarded upwards of a million dollars. She used the money to build sizable trust funds for me and my brothers so that we would be taken care of later in life. Despite having a lot more money she still wanted to live a fairly modest life, so she paid off the house she has and has been living there ever since with my dad. Sure she bought a new car and they went on a few nice vacations but she didn't blow all her money on stupid things, which I respected.
About a year ago, things started getting really weird. Whenever I saw Jane she seemed to look sicker and sicker, but no one would tell me or my brothers why even though I know they knew. All we knew is that she was at the hospital a lot. Around the same time, my mom has been coming around my dad a lot more and acting really strange, basically like she was trying to romance him. Whenever Jane was in the hospital my mother would insist on spending the night at their house and playing mom to my brothers, which was so weird to me because she never liked them or Jane. She'd be the perfect little housewife and my mom is NOT like that at all. It was super fake.
Worst of all, my dad started falling for it. I'm not stupid - I'm pretty sure they were sleeping together. I tried to shield my brothers from it but they're not dumb either. I tried talking to my dad too but he insisted it wasn't like that.
Then a few weeks ago, my mom started talking about all the places she'd like to visit, how she wanted a new car and was looking to invest... which is weird because my mom has been a bartender her whole life and has lived paycheck to paycheck since before I was born. She was acting like she was about to get a lot of money, which started to make me really suspicious. Between Jane being sick and my mom acting all nouveau riche, I had a lot of questions.
Finally I decided to visit Jane in the hospital and ask her about my trust fund. I found out that if anything happened to her, that my dad would inherit all the money including full control of the trusts for me and my brothers. She asked me why I was so interested in the trust fund so I told her what's going on with my parents and how my mom has been acting with my dad. I didn't want to but after everything she did for me, she deserved the truth. It really hurt me to break her heart like that, especially once I found out that she was basically in hospice at this point because of irreversible kidney failure. She's only got a few more months. We both cried so much.
Then, two days ago everything came to a head. My mom stormed in furious and started arguing with my dad. Apparently Jane met with her lawyer and changed the trust so that my dad would get nothing and all of the trusts would be controlled by my step-aunt. She demanded to know how Jane found out about their relationship and I came out and told them that I told Jane everything. I told them that if they wanted to play stupid games they would win stupid prizes and that I wasn't going to let them screw Jane over after all the help she gave my family when she didn't have to.
My mom slapped me and my dad just looked so defeated. Then my mom told my dad that she didn't really love him, that she was just pretending to so he would marry her and she could get all of the money. The worst part about it is that my brothers witnessed the whole thing and now on top of their mom dying they have to deal with a cheating dad and his vindictive ex. Our whole family is in ruins and I feel like it's my fault even though I know it's not.
Yesterday I visited Jane again and told her about the fallout. She apologized and said that she had to dissolve my trust fund to make sure my mother didn't get a hold of the money, but that as "her oldest" I will inherit the house/property after she is gone and that's worth more than the other two trust funds combined. My father won't get anything because she's going to divorce him before she dies, and honestly I'm happy for her. She made me promise to take care of my brothers and told me that once I turn 18 this summer I can kick my dad out of the house if I want to. And I FULLY plan to do that btw.
I haven't talked to my dad since and I can't even look at my mom. I can't believe they would conspire to do this to Jane after all this time. Just proof that they deserve each other and I'm embarrassed that they're my parents. Once I turn 18 I'm going to cut my dad out as much as I can and cut my mom out completely. I hope she rots. Meanwhile I'm going to try and be at the hospital as much as I can until Jane passes away.
Anyways. I just needed to vent. I'm really messed up about the whole thing and I feel super betrayed, although I can't even begin to imagine how Jane feels. I'm gonna be so f-ed up when she dies. I can't even think about that right now. But at least she's not surrounded by people who just want to bring her down.
Thanks for reading.
Edit: Some people are asking a lot of the same stuff so I'll just clarify here --
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My brothers -
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My plan is to use some of the estate money fight for guardianship for my twin brothers so that they can live in the house while I kick my dad out. If I can't get guardianship then I will have to let my dad stay in the house. However once I turn 18 I will technically be an adult so even if my dad leaves I'm still legally able to be responsible for them. The only thing I won't be able to do is stop him from taking them if he leaves. But they will be 18 in six years so even if they do have to leave they will always be able to come back whenever they want. In a perfect world my dad would just leave and let my brothers stay with me which I'm sure my bio-mom would be very supportive of because right now she hates all of us and I doubt that will change anytime soon.
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The trust -
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from what I understand, my brothers will inherit 1/3 each of the estate and the remaining 1/3 will be used to keep the house running until they turn 18. After that it will be up to me if I want to keep the house or sell it. At that point my brothers will still have money left in the trust so they can branch out or do whatever they want, otherwise I will not sell the house and just pass it on to them or keep it and maintain it myself and they can just stay with me as long as they need to.
(Edit to the edit) So I just spoke to Jane and she told me that the reason she dissolved the trust is because originally it was going to be split 3x between us kids and my dad would inherit the house. She dissolved my 3rd and switched it over to make it to take care of the house maintenance, and instead put the house in my name so my dad wouldn't get it. Plus by doing that at least financially I would be getting a much bigger share (the house is worth about 1.5x the amount of my brothers trusts) I just wouldn't be able to do anything with it until my brothers are 18, which I'm totally cool with. Sorry if I don't have a better answer but I'm just trying to translate what she told me.
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My parents -
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The big fight happened on Sunday and I haven't spoken to either of my parents since, I think they're both at my mom's place right now but that's fine with us because we're all still mad at them so they can stay gone for all we care. I know technically that's not legal to just leave us alone but I've been taking care of my brothers for over a year I can handle a few days while he gets his shit together. Screw both of them.
Hope that clears some stuff up.
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Comments
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Tisanes
I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time, OP.
The most important thing you've inherited from Jane is a strong moral compass. You could have taken the easy road and ignored everything your mom and dad were doing, but your compassion to Jane is proof you take after her the most.

OOP: Thanks a lot. Yeah when my mom was yelling at me she asked why I couldn't keep my mouth shut and mind my business and I told her "because Jane raised me better than that" and that's when she slapped me. I feel like she's always been threatened by Jane and that was just proof.

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DeerBest3901
I would scream "oooOH TOUCHDOWN"

OOP: Lol that would've been funny but at the time I was more worried about keeping my brothers out of the argument (not that it worked but I tried).

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LighteningSharks
You're a good kid. I'm sorry you're losing the only parent who ever really cared. Jane was meant to be your mama

OOP: Thank you, I've felt like that periodically over the years but Jane always insisted that she didn't want to replace my bio mom in my life because a girl's relationship with her mother is important. I guess she didn't realize that I already had one.

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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 3 months later
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Hi guys it’s me again, a lot of you asked me for an update on my situation with Jane and my family so I’ve come back with a few things that have happened since I initially posted. I will try to organize this in a way that addresses the major points of last time.
Jane is still alive and doing surprisingly well considering the circumstances. She’s always been a fighter and although her disease has been progressing she’s keeping a positive attitude with everything that is going on. She says she’s grateful that she was able to see everyone’s true colors before she passed so she could go into the next life knowing the truth. We have become so unbelievably close in the past few months and it’s getting harder and harder to know that she’s getting close to the end. She doesn’t ever talk about it though and I know it’s because she doesn’t want to hurt me but we both know the situation so we’re just making the best of our time. I'm also not being completely transparent about all of the drama at home but tbh I don't think she needs to hear all of that.
We did end up having that surprise celebration of life that I planned, a lot more people showed up than I thought but they all got an airbnb near the hospital where Jane is and we were able to take her out and spend some time at the lake near the facility. It was super lowkey which I know Jane preferred and I was even able to get her old college friend to come after I found him on Linkedin lol. We had food and there was music and we played games and it was overall a really great time, except Jane started crying at the end but she promised me it was just because she was grateful.
My brothers are also doing okay, my aunt (Jane's sister) is currently paying for them to go to therapy and they've become a lot more open about talking about the situation. They just turned 13 but a lot of the time it feels like I'm talking to actual adults lol. They've become really independent lately (in a good way) and aside from me driving them places I don't really have to do much for them anymore. Their grades aren't super great but they're not failing and considering the circumstances it could be a lot worse. They still hang out with friends and I'm keeping an eye out for like depression symptoms and stuff.
The situation with my mom is as funny as it is embarrassing tbh. She spent a few weeks ignoring us and then she tried to crawl back into my life basically begging me to let her move in because her lease is about to expire and she has nowhere to go. That convo went about as well as you'd think and she ended up calling me an ungrateful b**** and that I couldn't just ignore her because she's my mom. I told her to get out of the house before I call the cops and to go back to my dad (who at that point was only coming home every few days to "check on us" and grab some clothes.)
After that she tried coming by a few times and when I wouldn't open the door she would lose her mind and start yelling through the neighborhood. After three instances of this I finally called the cops but because I'm 17 they told me there's a possibility that I would have to go home with her since technically I'm a minor and need to be with the custodial parent. I told them no way because I was the only one watching my brothers atm. That led to a whole thing where after a few hours my dad basically showed up and I was allowed to stay there because there was finally an adult present and I'd basically lived there for over a year.
After that the cops firmly told my mom that if she keeps showing up and causing drama (my neighbors confirmed that she'd been there a few times screaming) that they would arrest her for trespassing since technically it was Jane's house and not hers. She left and hasn't tried coming to the house anymore but for a while she would call me constantly telling me I owed her and all kinds of stuff. She's now blocked on everything and anything she needs to say to me gets filtered through my dad.
As for my dad... well, since he's basically required to be here for another 2 months until I turn 18 we've basically just avoided each other. It's not too bad though because I've been heavily relying on guilting him for everything to get my way. For example he was going to contest the divorce but I threatened to kick him out when I turn 18 if he does that so he just signed all the paperwork for a "quickie divorce" and is basically doing whatever Jane tells him to do.
I don't openly disrespect him or anything (he's still my dad) but I've made it clear that I have no intentions on doing anything he says ever again and he doesn't fight me on it. Most of the time he's just in his room and sometimes he'll go back to my mom's but only for a day or two before they argue and she kicks him out again lol. I haven't decided whether or not I'll kick him out yet and we haven't talked about it either so I'm kind of playing it by ear.
As for me, I'm handling everything as good as I can. I found a new job where I make a little more money so I've been focusing on saving as much as I can and just being there for my brothers. Between working and school and visiting Jane I've been so busy I haven't really had time to really stop and think about everything, but I know it'll come. One of my friends has really stepped up and helped me manage everything and I'm super grateful to him for being there for me and my brothers so we'll see how that goes.
Anyways I wish I had something more exciting to share but that's what's happened since my last post :) Thanks again for all the support on my last post.
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Comments
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absxlution
Holy shit, I remember your first post, this is such big pile of horse crap to be dealing with, but you sound so incredibly mature and like you're really taking it in stride. Your parents have really failed you and your brothers here, but I'm so proud of how you've managed to step up to the plate and hold your ground against them. I'm still sorry you have to be the next best adult in this scenario.
It's also great to hear that Jane is still alive, and that you guys got to do a celebration of life with her. I can only hope, when I am at my own end, that I have people who love me this dearly and this deeply. I hope you and your loved ones are able to make some more happy memories with her :-)

OOP: Thank you :) and I promise that as long as you are a good person and work to make the lives of those around you better instead of being a burden you will have many people around you who will love and cherish you.

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trvllvr
Jane was a wonderful example for you and raised you well. I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this. You are so young and this should be a carefree time in your life. However, I’m glad your brothers have you.
Curious does dad and bio mom work at all? Or they just mooch off Jane and others? I means seems like they have a lot of time on their hands to do nothing, but he horrible people.

OOP: Hi and thank you :) Yes my bio mom works as a bartender most nights, she’s been working at the same bar basically my whole life. As for my dad he works in industrial sales, he makes a pretty decent living but I think most of his money recently has been going towards my bio mom since he never seems to have money to do anything anymore lol

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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

This morning my sister called me and told me this. I cried, then eventually snapped as she sounded like a robot repeating to me “it’s a medical treatment, my body my choice, I’m doing this because no one likes me, the family bully’s me”, constant victimization which she’s done her entire life. I got mad and yelled at her, “when are you gonna stop playing the victim and realize you are the problem.” Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. It just built up.
She just stayed with me last weekend to be here for our grandma’s 85th birthday. The entire time she talks shit about our whole family, and politics. Making up ridiculous lies that I know are false, judging my aunt for her clothes, accusing of everyone being passive aggressive, calling everyone narcissistic. Trying to convince me our mom is autistic or schizophrenic. She got in a huge fight with my mom in front of my wife and I before we took her to the airport. My mom was crying at the end because she really tries her best to give her love, we all do, but it’s never enough for her. We don’t understand what she wants. It’s like she needs us to fight.
Later when she got back home she left me some voicemails saying she hopes our mom dies, and that it would make her life easier. It hurts me so much she said that because I have a wonderful relationship with our mom. She’s one of the sweetest people I know on this earth. I just don’t get it.
Anyways today she is telling me she is approved for a assisted death in Oregon. I don’t know if she is even telling the truth because she’s not a state citizen of Oregon and she doesn’t have a terminal illness that will kill her in 6 months. She said she’s found a way to work around these requirements. Can she actually do this? I love my sister very much even though she’s physically abused me in the past and continues to verbally abuse me and the rest of my family. I know it’s hard living her life, I believe she has BPD, and I feel bad. I’m just exhausted.

I’m 28 and I think I made a bad decision. Long post warning.
Wife and I have been married for 8 years. She’s from Vietnam, we met in college. She became a citizen a few years ago and we decided to have kids.
First baby was born in 2021.
With the rising house prices we were scared we’d be stuck in an apartment… so we started looking for houses. My in-laws offered 40k as a gift for the downpayment. My parents did the same.
This put our monthly payment in a very manageable spot. Pricey, but for us it was affordable. We accepted the money and bought a house.
Anyways… here’s where the trouble starts.
My wife finally graduates and also becomes a citizen. Has a good job. We’re learning to be parents, i’m learning to take care of our new property, my job is super flexible, besides for the huge learning curve of adulthood, all is well.
It’s now the start of 2023.
My mom and step-dad get into some big fights/mental breakdowns. Super messy. Psych wards. A lot of fucked up stuff I dont need to mention.
Now, I’m the oldest son, this is my mom’s second marriage. Not my first rodeo. Naturally I try to support her as best as I can. Eventually I get the call that they are getting a divorce.
They both, separately ask for some money back. 27k of the 40k “gift” in total.
I’m happy to help if it means both of them will be happy and I never have to hear about this again. Being the good son that I feel I should be, I oblige. Even though it will take a huge chunk out of our savings, I oblige.
They get a divorce. Legally separated, but they still live on the same property.
During this time we are trying for a 2nd child, and God is good!
But, we start running into the terrible two’s with my daughter. Meanwhile my in-laws say they are interested in immigrating here and living with us. I think, awesome! We both work full time, having some help with the 2nd baby would be super nice! I’ve met her parents, stayed with them for 8 weeks before. They’re good people at heart.
They immigrated here in December 2023. We’re all so excited. We have a guest room they can stay in, everything seems to be coming together for our happy little family…
My toddler is pretty thrown off by this change. Neither of my in-laws speak any English. I speak a rudimentary version of Vietnamese but I understand a decent amount. It’s awkward at first. But we navigate. My toddler is not having any of it. She runs circles around them, even though she is bilingual with my wife and I. She’s always been difficult for us. I identify very early-on that her parents ARE NOT fit for any childcare duties.
It’s like my in-laws have never met a difficult 2-3yo in their life. It’s actually appalling how ignorant they are. But we are managing. Maybe everyone needs some time to get used to each other? A dad can hope…
February rolls around, and my newborn arrives! She’s beautiful. My mom and ex-stepdad visit. It’s nice to get everyone together, even with the massive culture/language barrier.
My mom and stepdad leave back to their home in another state. We adjust to the newborn phase again. It’s rough. But when is it not?
One week later my mom calls me and says she and my ex-stepdad are getting back together.
I feel hoodwinked and cant help but think about all the money they asked for back, that was literally a “gift”. But I say great, now its not weird when I explain who they are to my family. As long as they’re happy.
Anyways, back to home-life. We are adapting. But I’m not gonna lie, this shit is hard. Toddler is increasingly more confrontational, not listening to my in-laws or mom. I’m the only one that can really console and handle her.
Did I mention I work from home? Yeah this shit is an absolute nightmare. No sleep. Still got deadlines. In-laws are basically useless when it comes to handling the kids. I end up assisting with the toddler A LOT when I should be working. Wife is handling the newborn mostly by herself.
Meanwhile in-laws need all kinds of help adjusting to their new life in the USA. I’m giving rides at pretty much any time of day. Grandpa works nightshift at a factory. Grandma thinks she can work a job for her new friend, 6 days/week 10 hour shifts. She’s never worked a job in her life. She lasts 1 week.
We decide the best course of action for the toddler is daycare. Since the in-laws are negligent on that front. We start shelling out $1200/month, on top of all our expenses. I’m upset. I thought we were going to have help in exchange for her parents living here. But we still have to end up paying for daycare because they cant handle my daughter at all. Oh well, at least my little munchkin will get some decent social time with other kids, and for that, its worth it.
Did I mention my father in-law gets his license, starts driving my wife’s car, and somehow overheats the engine and completely fucks my wife’s car? Now we’re down to one vehicle.
Fellow dads. How do i handle this mess?
I'd feel bad to send my in-laws back to their country, but i’m starting to think this was all a giant mistake. I should have never taken their money. now I feel like I owe them, just like I owed my own parents. I tried to do the right thing but everything feels like its blowing up in my face. Dont even get me started on how many fight my wife and I have had in the last 6 months.
I thought I was a super hero. I thought I could help everyone. I thought I was doing the right thing. But now it feels like I've been scammed by everyone I know. And nobody gives a fuck about me or has even said thank you.
My bio dad is a fucking deadbeat and I dont even consider him my father. I feel like I've been wronged on every front. Like nobody is praying for me. None of my friends my age are even remotely in a situation like this. I have no one to ask for help or guidance.
Sorry for the long post. I’ve been cracking beers in my backyard alone for the last 4 hours watching the aurora. I never drink. Just feel like I’m at a breaking point.

Okay, so the last 7 cm of my small intestine, just before the terminal ileum, is constricted as per the last GI doc i saw about 6 years ago. I got this wonderful disease at 28 in '99 at what was to be one of many high points in a rapidly ascending career in computer networking. Back then, nobody had a clue what it was. I remember telling my wife at the time, why can't it be brain cancer? At least I wouldn't have to explain it every time. With the inflammation, it only gets worse - the pain, that is. The last GI doctor had recommended surgery to have that section removed.... again. I've had several bowel resections in the past, and the outcomes were all terrible. I literally spent a year in the hospital with my second outbreak due to a bowel perforation and septic shock my first night home from the hospital after only 2 weeks. Both major surgeries, I ended up with ileostomies (later reversed after basically threatening suicide) and had multiple surgeries afterward due to sepsis, bowel rupture, and a lot of adhesions. Kidney failure, gall bladder failure, they even got my appendix. My bowel even leaked through my peritoneal cavity for months from multiple holes in my skin. I've had my ileostomies reversed, but that was when I was probably 15 years younger and much healthier.
I'm worried about the mountain of adhesions that the surgeon will inevitably have to remove. I'm only 51 and probably have 15 good years left, but if my previous surgeries are any indication, the outcome will be very poor. I'll be stuck with an ileostomy bag and won't be able to take care of myself for well over a year. I have absolutely no one anymore to help take care of me. Both my parents are very old. I'm divorced, and I'd be completely helpless.
Plus, with the war on pain patients in this country, I understand that receiving proper pain management is almost impossible. I've tried marijuana gummies, and they do slow down my intestines somewhat, but the only relief I have actually experienced was with opiates. I've also tried a couple of biological medications. I was allergic to Remicade, but Cimzia worked for me. They had some sort of deal where it was free. They eventually stopped. However, after another horrible colonoscopy prep and the procedure, my insurance wouldn't pay for it. They wanted me to try a list of other drugs first.
During my earlier surgeries, I had a wife and family, but I don't have them now. Surgery, I just can't see it being an option for me. I'm trying to control it with a diet, but it's not really working.
I've spent probably 2 years of my life in the hospital, and I am just not ready for it to end. A surgery to fix the constriction plus the stoma without a support system would rapidly lead me to suicide.
So, I guess I'm not sure what to do next. I'm looking for advice. And no, I'm not suicidal.
Edit: changed illiostomy bag to stoma and added corrections above the green lines, mostly commas.
P.S. I don't guess they have a colonoscopy prep that involves putting you to sleep, slipping a tube up your but and just pumping you full of laxatives so you can avoid that particular misery.

I am a kinky person. My partner and I love to try new things, experiment, etc. This post will include somewhat detailed mentions of kinky sex.
My partner and I have been together a long while, and have done a lot of experimenting together, but a favorite kink for both of us is daddy/little play. We switch who is dominant, but it is rather prominent in our intimate time. We also participate in piss play and (very) occasional shit play. I am a squirter, and we have tried different things to keep clean, and one that has kind of stuck is adult diapers. Pair that with the other kinks and we have a lot of fun and involve adult diapers a decent bit. The other night after some fun, I was cleaning up and wrapped an adult diaper up tight before putting it out in the dumpster, and my partner made a joke about how good I was at cleaning up diapers because of my job. I am a full time daycare teacher, and lately have been covering in an infant room which has required changing diapers. Since he has said that, for some reason, every time I start to get horny or think about anything sexual, I hear the joke, think about work and get SEVERELY grossed out. I am not a pervert and I do NOT want to think about work stuff in that moment. It always leads to me shutting everything down and feeling gross, and I know daddy stuff gets a bad rap already. Now I’m worried someone will find an adult diaper in my home or a sext to my partner and assume the worst.

TW: miscarry
Last year, me (30F) and my BF (31M) decided that we wanted to have a family together. We’re together for 10 years, love each other vey much and are financially stable. After a short time, we were very grateful when we discovered that I was pregnant. We were so happy and at first all the scans seem perfect. Unfortunately, at the 14 week scan, they found an abnormality. We were devastated. After more research and advice from the doctors, we had to terminate the pregnancy. I was 15 weeks pregnant.
The time after the abortion was a very dark period for me. I went into therapy and little by little with a lot of help from friends, family and professionals, I began feeling myself again.
Fast forward to this week. I’m now 30 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby and so happy and grateful everything is ok. However, the abortion and the lost of our previous pregnancy still has a place in my heart and from time to time I think about it and get really sad.
This week I was visiting my MIL and FIL for dinner. My BF couldn’t come since he is away for a conference for his work. When my FIL was getting dinner, my MIL said to me: “you know I was actually relieved that you miscarried because I was not ready to become a grandmother”. I was stunned and did not know what to say, so I said something like “well, I was not. It was a very said period for me”. I am very conflict avoiding so after this, I pretend I did not hear anything and went quickly on to another subject. However, when I was in my car to go home, i burst down in tears.
I’m still very upset about it. How can someone say this to someone? This is so hurtful. I told my BF and he said that he understands that I’m upset but that I should not think too much about it since his mother can be sometime “clumsy in her wordings”.
I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to make this into a thing but this really crossed a line for me. Moreover, we decided to name the baby after my mother and my MIL but now I don’t want this baby to have her name. My mother was so supportive during my miscarry and so invested in this pregnancy so it feels good to have the baby named after her. But my MIL, I don’t know.. I don’t want to even visit her anymore for a while. My BF thinks it’s unfair to only name the baby after my mother and thinks I’m overreacting a bit. What should I do?
Ps: sorry for my English. We live in Belgium and I’m not a native English speaker.

I want to say how challenging it is to raise children in Austin. Since my teenage years, I've dreamed of having at least three kids. Now, with one child, the burden is so great that the idea of another seems overwhelming. It's incredibly expensive. Both daycare and preschool are costly, and I'm not satisfied with their quality. Housing consumes so much of our income that reducing our work hours isn't feasible. It's not just the financial cost; frequent illnesses from daycare mean unexpected days off, adding hidden expenses. My wife and I both have demanding jobs, and without nearby family, it's tough when our child gets sick. In the evenings, after our little one comes home, we can't pursue hobbies or side projects because we're busy with household chores and spending needed time with our child, who doesn’t like playing alone. I can't imagine managing with another child given the time we already devote to one, and I’m constantly behind schedule trying to meet all these demands. I wonder, is this level of difficulty common for other couples who work full-time with no family nearby? How do they manage? I worry that our parenting style might be too high-maintenance.

(EXTRA INFO AND BACKGROUND UNDER ADVICE I NEED:D)
kind of advice i need: • what to say during interviews…specifically for the “tell me about yourself” question • when asked a question and the options are basically “tell the manager” or “talk to your coworker about it and help before going to the manager”…which answer should i give? the snitch answer? or the answer that says i’ll get on their ass abt not working than go to management and snitch • if i have basically 0 experience with working AND volunteering…how should i set up my resume? • if i have no work experience…what should i put for skills? • i know they say it’s a lot easier to get a job if you have connections but what can i do if im in an area where i have no connections and the only connections i could have had were with people who absolutely hated me from the get go- meaning…i have 0 friends here and not many people i talk to in general. i gotta meet new people…ik that’s what i gotta do • at any point…even if i feel comfortable…should i bring up my wendy’s job and why i got fired from it? i’ve done it a couple times and explained why it didn’t work the first 3 days though i think thats my biggest mistake and partially why its not going well with job hunting. idk if i should lie at that point and say i’ve never had my first job or tell them i did and explain it a bit.
hihi, so ever since i turned 16…i’ve been looking for a job. at first i didn’t really look..by 17…i landed a job at wendy’s but how i got it was just bad lol. she had to reassure me a lot. i was working for 3 days and got let go a month later. (cat hit a nerve in my hand…couldn’t move it…got sent home…she left me on read each time i texted trying to tell her it was better and if im on the schedule…a week later still no response…i get hospitalized for a week then sent to a residential for one month and couldn’t tell her i was under their care…when i got out…i went straight to my job and found that out…i even tried to show them the physical AND electronic note i had from the hospital saying i was under their care…told my parents to tell them i was there cuz i personally couldn’t get my hands on a phone to call them…was reassured by everyone id still have it and in the end…i didn’t)
i’m now 18…i moved out of my house for 3 months and tried to look for jobs in largo. dunkin 100% did not want me. not after my friend told them i only worked 3 days at wendy’s because i was unsure if i should put that down on the application or not. (thanks lydia…you’re a total bitch for that lol)
i moved back home and since march…i’ve been applying to places nonstop. only got 2 interviews and a shit ton of “we are sorry to inform you….” emails. i am doing everything to get one…i have written a few cover letters to a few places in hopes it would raise my chances of getting it. i’ve revised my resume many times to better fit the position i’ve applied for…its just extremely difficult and hard to do so when i don’t even have experience at all. im pretty sure i don’t even have volunteer hours so ive got 0 experience. (i am looking into volunteering though so thats something ima be doing) one interview i had was less than 5 min and i already knew i didnt get it cuz it was “tell me about yourself” and then “thank you for coming, we’ll give you a call friday and let you know our decision” right after;-; the other one was longer and they asked alot more questions. i knew i didnt get that one either cuz there was a guy who accompanied it and i kept looking at him and he seemed hella disinterested and bored and whatnot…they left to discuss it then came back and the dude said “we have decided to take a different route, thank you for your time”
i’ve been applying left and right bro:/ i’ve applied to this one specific place multiple multiple times in the span of 2 years. i did that every few months or so and each time i don’t hear anything back even after following up.
i’m going down the list of restaurants/fast food/clothing stores/ grocery stores/pharmacies/and etc on fricking google maps. i’m looking up eachhh and every place i come across on those lists. applying on their physical website. not indeed…not any job hunting app. just the company’s website. i dont know what to do anymore. i’m trying everything and anything at this point bro:/ tbh indeed was NOT working at all so thats why i reverted to going on the company’s website instead to fill out the application

Hey guys just wanted to share my story with you guys, I thought maybe it will inspire some of you to achieve your goals :). Just so you know I gave my JEE in 2023 (didn't take drop).
So till 10th class I was an average student or maybe a below average student. I usually use to get my percentage in the 70s and sometimes even touching 60s. Except LKG or 1st something (I don't remember) where I somehow got above 90%. I still don't understand how XD. And I was also really good at Maths. Other than that nothing special about my academics.
When covid hit in 2020 my 10th class had just started. I got completely distracted by the video games and youtube. And I didn't like the idea of cheating in exams. So this lead to a sudden decrease in my marks. Then when pre boards approached my father use to sit with me on call and teach me (He use to live somewhere else due to work). Slowly I was improving bit by bit and it was evident in the 3rd pre board that I am improving a bit (Yes, we had 3 pre boards because boards were taking forever to start). Still the improvement was not that big, slowly but surely I was improving. Then boards got canceled. My school gave marks based on pre boards. Unlike many schools who inflated the marks of their students. So at last I got 67.2% in 10th. I knew I could have done better if I was given a chance because I started so much better but that is life we cannot do anything about it. Sometimes you don't chance or you are too late.
I believe that I was in top 3 from the bottom in my school and my school have many student, just in 10th there would have been around 350 students. It was kind of soul crushing. I wanted PCM because of my interest in science but of course I was not getting that in my school. Initially, they were just giving humanities without maths, I couldn't get the subject I loved the most because I had really low marks in it. In fact I got the lowest marks in Maths, I think around 59 . Then later they agreed upon giving me commerce with Maths.
Back then I would have settled for less. But my mother knew I would do the best in PCM. She knew that is what I am good at so she decided to change my school. I got PCM there. That day I promised myself that I would not repeat the same and score good marks in 12th.
When I joined the school from the next day, they had their school running for 1 month already whereas, in my previous school it just started. So i was lagging behind by a lot. Also my father got me Aakash, which he just bought without discussing with me, thinking that it might come handy for my preparation.
Then I started studying regularly and attending my classes properly even though it was still online. I started taking studies more seriously. Then 1st exam of 11th approached, they were on weekly bases. Exam on every Monday. So I use to study hard the for 1 week for whichever exam was next. Again I didn't cheat in my exams but since my 10th didn't go that well and I joined late, it was hard to cope up with the studies so it didn't go well. I got my marks and all the subject's score was below 50% except physical education because well that's really easy.
Then just before the mid term exam I decided to leave Aakash even though my parents had given the complete fees for it. It was because I didn't find it adding value to my studies. It just felt like a waste of time to me. So I decided to study on my own for the rest of the 11th. I also opted to give mid term offline as the school was giving me an option for it and I was pretty serious about doing better. This time my marks improved a little bit but still the marks weren't good.
Then during the post mid term exam my marks increased a bit more significantly and specially in Maths. Physics, Chemistry and English were still a weak point.
After that exam, my school decided to conduct final exam in offline mode of everybody, no option to opt in or out. I got 79.7% just 0.3% off my goal for 11th. But still I was happy that I had come a long way and improved so much but I was still not happy about not being able to reach my goal. But now only physics was the main weak point. Fun fact: In that exam only 13 out of 29 in my class passed it and some other sections way less students passed.
When 12th started I got 2 home tutor for maths and physics each. , only for the board level. For 12th I had a goal to get more than 95%. From the starting I started studying regularly. Bit by bit I improved a lot. I had created such an identity that whenever somebody in school use to ask my percentage in 10th nobody use to believe that I got 67.2%. They use to think I am lying, even my class teacher thought that for once XD.
Then pre boards approached in November and I did pretty decent. I knew I am doing great. Up until then, I never touched JEE after leaving Aakash. Around 2-3 weeks before JEE I decided that since I am already great for boards I should prepare for JEE. I prepared for it and gave my first session and got 87%ile. Not a lot but for the efforts I was happy. Then I shifted my focus back to boards.
I gave my boards and it went great!! I took a few days break and then decided to get back to preparing for JEE. Studied for upto and sometimes more than for 12 hours a day for 2-3 weeks. 1-2 days before JEE I took a complete break from it so that my mind isn't exhausted during the exam. Then I gave my JEE and got 94.1%ile, about 66k rank. I was really happy with it, considering that I only gave a few weeks to JEE. Then my boards result came, I got 95.6%. Finally I had achieved my goals!!! I was really happy on those 2 days! It was like a festive season in my home when boards result came in. I am really proud of my self for achieving those things.
Then I got into MAIT, took CSE as I am interested in that. Currently about to finish my 1st year. There are still so many things I want to achieve and seeing my loved ones getting happy for my achievements, it makes me more motivated to achieve those goals.
So remember there is always the bright side on the other end, you just have to work to get to it!! And I know you guys can do it! Just don't forget why you are working for it!
Sorry, I didn't realise how long the post have gone. But I enjoyed sharing my experience!
Feel free to ask if something is in your mind!
Maybe someday I will update you guys :D
Edit: A pro tip, you can always write your goal of a A4 sheet in big letters and paste in front of your study table's wall. Help you not deviate from your goal and when you feel demotivated, it helps you get back to work.

Earlier a couple weeks back, I was opening doors at the Northland Bank, you know, the station in Liyue. All types of people pass by, those with debts to pay off, and those who will eventually be in debt to the Regrator. I smile, make a friendly gesture, and let them in. Sometimes, I get a rude response, other times just silence.
But then, the 11th harbinger came through the doors. Cheerful and dignified, he shook my hand and gave me a big smile. That smile of his, it was so soft and sweet. I imagine it at night, and at times I sigh thinking about it. During my day shift, I talked to Vlad about it. Even though he and Nadia are a thing, he told me that some other workers at the bank told him that one of Ekaterina’s friends drew the harbinger as a woman.
I was confused, because to do such a disgraceful thing to a harbinger? But the second I saw that drawing, it made me fall in complete love. Call it lust, but I feel something stronger than mere happiness. I want to be with our glorious harbinger Tartaglia, but I want to be with him if he was a woman. During the changing of my shifts, Nadia approached me about this subject. She told me it’s possible with the Sumeru Akademiya’s potions and Akasha terminal, but the Akasha has been out of use ever since the whole false god thing happened there.
Good for our extraordinary leader the Tsarista, not so much for me and my love for the 11th. So I told her about it, and she directed me to the obvious solution of commissioning a light novel from Inazuma. Of course, why didn’t I think of that sooner? I immediately drafted a letter, and sent it to the Yae Publishing House, of course, with some mora to really drive home the point. I’ll get a response in around a few weeks, but I’ll be happy for now thinking of me and the 11th.
No matter what, I’ll love the harbinger in any form he takes. I’ll update you guys in a couple weeks, wish me luck.

So I (33F) have been living with my parents for the last 5 months after my master's degree abroad (my goal since I was in high school) since my parents used my name to get into debt to buy an office (that they don't use) and hence I couldn't ask for a loan and used every last penny I had saved on tuition and cost of living.
I was not thrilled to come back home, but my family always assumed I would and I couldn't find a job in time. In my family (parents around 70 and brother 39M), my brother has always been low-key the golden child.
My brother lives a couple of blocks away from my parent's with his 2 dogs, my toddler niece, and his gf. My parents take almost full care of my niece and around 20% of the care for the dogs (time and money-wise). They have to keep working since they don't have a retirement plan and used all their money to pay for the birth of my niece and related expenses. Their lives revolve around what my brother's wants and needs, 99.99% unannounced and without any warning.
Since I am basically freeloading I try to pull my weight by helping however I can. I of course clean after myself, cook for myself (when they allowed me, that's another story). do some chores, and I am their errand person. Their biggest need of help is taking care of my niece, I try not to get too involved since they are only enabling my brother to keep using them as free daycare (and other problems he has with his gf), but still, I end up watching at least a couple of hours daily. They know about my opinion and we have had many discussions, I let it go since it's their life, I just do what I can so I don't feel I am a burden.
The issue is that lately, my schedule depends on my brother's as well. Today (Saturday) I was supposed to pick up flowers for my mom, cook some soup since my stomach is sick and rest at home. I ended up having to buy groceries in a rush because my brother needed help to take the 2 dogs to the groomer (small yorkies) and refused to go without me. I ended up having lunch at 4pm because the groom took long, I had to go by the food outside, and then babysit my niece while my parents had lunch first. My brother left her here for the rest of the day and I had to take the dogs back to his home. They insisted even when I refused since I was feeling bad, I ended up going but was forced to bathe (again) one of the dogs, ended up soaked and had to wait around an hour wet because they were all helping my brother with the dogs and my niece and telling me to help as well.
This is just an example of one day. It's 11pm now and my parents went back to pick up one of the dogs that had an issue. I locked myself up in my room. I am fuming. My entire day was just doing everything they wanted in spite of me. I am planning to move out as soon as I get any job possible, but for now I am stuck here. I am wondering if AITA for not wanting to help anymore and do things in my times or what I find fair.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Uncle-Barnacle. She posted in EntitledPeople.
Thanks to u/No-Mechanic-3048 for the rec!
Trigger Warnings: animal abuse; sexual harassment;
Mood Spoiler: Good ending for OOP
Original Post: January 27, 2024
As the title says, last week I kicked what I thought was a good friend out of my house because I can no longer handle her antics. Just wanna write it here just to destress and deal with the grief of losing a friend.
Kendall (25F) and I met in university in 2016, we studied different majors but were from the same department so we share many classes together and bonded over our passion for gaming and memes.
Upon graduation, Kendall moved back to her hometown due to covid and found a job there, we kept in touch online through Instagram.
About 3 years later, Kendall told me she found a better paying job in the city I so she's planning to move out from her parents place. When I asked her about her plans on her accomodations she replied with "That's the thing, I was going to ask if you have an extra bedroom that I could move into"
For context, I have inherited an apartment from my late grandfather which is a nice 3 bedroom 2 bath near the city center last year January and I currently live alone there since it is closer to my workplace and it has all the convenience of public transport.
After some thinking I thought that there's no harm in living with Kendall since I considered us as close friends. We discussed the terms and ofc the rent. A week later Kendall moved into my apartment. It was great at first, my home felt more lively than usual and the thought of going home to a close friend warmed my heart and gave me a sense of security. Things were okay for awhile and then sh*t goes downhill super quick.
Kendall started complaining about many things at home, about her work, her savings and how she feels homesick. At first I was very accommodating, thinking maybe she just needs time to get used to the city life. I offered as much help as I can, even to the point of if she's low on money I don't mind voiding a month's rent if it meant I could help her to achieve financial stability.
I taught her how I save money, how I live off with my then low salary with several commitments like my car, my dog and a student loan. I grew up where my parents expect me to be independent so I told her things I'd do when I'm low on cash, how to get freelance jobs etc but she always seem to have excuses for every suggestion I have. Finding a freelance job is too hard, or how she couldn't let go of her premium junk food, that she isn't willing to cook or meal prep, and I eventually decided to leave it as it is.
And after two months of living together, I realised Kendall started treating me as some kind of competition. She would constantly ask me things like how much money I make a month, how many job hoppings did that take. Anything that she thinks she's better than me, she'll definitely pop that question. She boasts about how she is loyal to her "sh#tty paying company" and how I would never be able to move up the corporate ladder as she called me "an industry frog" 🐸.
She once snooped my savings balance and asked how tf did I have so much saved up with commitments etc (mind you she didn't have a lot of commitments since her parents paid off her student loans and fully paid off a brand new car for her) and maybe I should stop collecting rent from her. I got mad, and told her if she isn't happy living with me maybe she should move out. Queue crocodile tears as she said it was a joke I didn't have to take her seriously she begged for forgiveness and promised to never snoop my personal items and details again. I let it go once, but she kept bringing things up like, "well you have the cash and a credit card" everytime I told her I rather stay home because I no longer have the budget to go out and "have fun". Comments like these became more frequent when I got a new job 6 months ago.
On top of that, she doesn't clean up after herself, tried to flirt with my boyfriend and at times parked in my parking space when our initial agreement was that she has to find her own parking space if she's moving in with her own car because my apartment only has one parking lot per unit.
The straw that broke the camel's back was when I caught her kicking my dog in his abdomen when I got home from work. I yelled at her and rushed to check my dog, luckily he was fine but I still rushed him to the vet for safety measures. I got home and she sneered that it was just a dog and as a friend I shouldn't treat her like that. I asked why she'd kicked my dog and she didn't answer me, she shrugged and tried to escape into her room.
At this point it was already about a year since Kendall moved in with me. I lost my cool and told her off, bringing up her problems and how I tried to be nice and accommodating. Then I told her I'm giving her a week to move out and that from then on I rather we keep our relationship casual or we don't ever talk at all. Kendall cried and begged me to not kick her out but soon it turned into her screaming back at me, calling me a bad friend because apparently in her words, I "didn't tell her off on how badly she was behaving" (like wtf?!). There was a lot of back and forth which I don't remember what I said, but I remember eventually calling her an entitled brat. She cried again saying it was uncalled for and stormed off to her room.
The next day I was bombarded with texts from other uni friends, some calling me selfish and others sympathize with me. Apparently, Kendall posted our argument on Facebook and Instagram, painting me to be the bad guy. I was upset at first but I decided that after Kendall moved out we would no longer be friends as well as those who took her side of the story and condemned me.
Last week, Kendall left, and I have changed the locks on my apartment. I curled up in bed and cried myself out, probably from the sadness of losing a friend or maybe I am finally letting out all the frustrations.
I am definitely still griefing about this loss of a friend as I've had many good times with Kendall. For now I wanna focus on myself and hopefully I eventually get over this.
Edit: The whole "teasing" that I have more money than Kendall gotten worse when I told her I was given an offer by an MNC as a Senior Designer, and I disclosed her the offered salary (as we always did, like I know how much she earns too) which was about 50% more than hers. That was dumb on my part, I now understand why my parents told me to never disclose/discuss salaries the moment I started working
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Kendall should eat a whole bag of dicks. You did well looking out for yourself, and your dog.

OOP: Yea but it took me a year to see how my "friend" didn't treat me like one ☹️

Commenter: Per your post, I would think that Kendall is a user rather than an actual friend. You will need time to heal. I recommend that you seek short-term psychological counseling to help - and maybe find out how to more effectively set and enforce personal boundaries.

OOP: Im planning to look into those as well, if I could afford them. But for the time being I'll try to find comfort in spending time with doggo, my bf and drowning in my hobbies :))

Commenter: If I were you, I'd be telling everyone she was hurting your dog - that would probably swing some opinions real quick

OOP: I did but some still called me an AH for kicking a poor girl who has travelled far from her hometown out in a big city 😒 I got off fine but why can't she?

Commenter: Also, time to step back for just a moment. Your so-called friend had No Student Loans and a Brand New Car. She has parents who can help her out. They created this puppy- kicking monster; they can deal with her. You gave her plenty of opps to play nice.
You don't owe her squat!!! Hold your head high! You're a wonderful person

OOP: Yet I don't understand where her money went, her wallets are always empty near the end of the month. She once showed me her savings balance, which was two digits, she was asking if I could lend her money. Luckily I didn't lend her any, but that's probably why she was angry at me for a week lmao

Commenter: This type hates being told no. They often seek revenge. If they put a fraction of that energy into working for what they wanted? They’d be in great shape. May you think of her no more & enjoy your life!

OOP: Exactly what I thought, there were so many other things and ways she could have work around to be stable financially, it's true I probably didn't have to collect rent from her but I was glad I did, even if it wasn't a year's worth. I spent so much for that thorough checkup of my boii after she kicked him :((

Commenter: I would have thrown her out on her ass the second I saw her kick my dog. That is completely unacceptable. She's lucky you gave her a week.

OOP: It ain't easy out in the city where I'm from, but she moved out in a couple of days after asked her to move out, last I heard one of our uni friends who called me an AH allowed her to crash at their place while she finds her own place to rent. I wish them good luck for sure they gonna end up like me

Commenter: Change your accounts so all paper work is clear so she cannot pretend to be you. Social security office visit to be sure no new accounts have been opened in your name is mandatory to cleanse sociopath vibe from your life.

OOP: Oh no worries about that, where I'm from to make most accounts would need my fingerprints and my physical id which neither have been missing, but thanks for the heads up on that! I've never considered from this angle

OOP originally paid the dog tax but has since deleted the picture.
Commenter: Anyone who could harm such a sweet boi would instantly be dead to me. For this alone, you are absolutely in the right!

OOP: I was really worried, but luckily the vet said he's as fit as a fiddle and as sturdy as ever
(to a different comment) From the checkups and with my vet's assurance, it seems like I caught her hurting my dog for the first time. He has never shown any sign of nervousness or anxiety near Kendall up till the day she kicked him, then again I didn't have cameras installed at home so I'm not sure if she has every attempted anything prior to this.
The most important thing is my ol'boy is still healthy and happy, with a tiny bruise which dissipated after a few days

Update Post 1: February 14, 2024 (3 weeks later)
Hello everyone, I'm here with some updates about me and my doggo as well as my now ex-friend, Kendall.
Let's start off with the update about myself. I've been doing well and surprisingly as some of you mentioned previously, I had gotten over the lost of this friendship rather quickly. My boyfriend planned a trip to a pet friendly beachfront hotel and I spent a few days with just my boyfriend and doggo. We played in the sea water and I watched my dog played in the sand. Overall had a great time and we even had grilled fish together while watching the sun set. (Doggo had a deboned fish fillet)
I am also grateful for my friends who stood by my side regarding this issue, they check in on me from time to time and sent me funny content to watch during my free time. Some of them even told me their stories about Kendall and their discontentment with her behavior, which I will list some below.
Friend A: Kendall ridiculed Friend A several times because Friend A earned less than Kendall despite he has worked a year longer than Kendall.
Friend B: Kendall trash talked Friend B's company via instagram just because Kendall flunked her interview with said company with flying colors.
Friend C: Kendall always demands Friend C to be her personal driver during our college days. If Friend C refuses, Kendall will guilt trip her.
Friend D: Ruined Friend D's assignment by 'pranking' him. She actually formatted his laptop when the project was due in two weeks. When confronted, all Kendall said was 'oopsies'.
There are many more but these are the more icky ones I've heard from my friends.
And now with that out of the way, here is today's main course:-- after I kicked Kendall out of my house, one of my uni friends, let's call her Anne, stood by Kendall's version of events and has allowed Kendall to move in with her instead. Anne called me out of the blue this afternoon and her first question to me was: "How on earth did you managed to put up with Kendall for a year? She's driving me crazy!!" Long story short, whatever Kendall did when she's living with me, she now does it to Anne. Snooping Anne's personal items, leaving dirty laundry around...generally being a prick in the butt. Anne told me she's planning to force Kendall out of her house too. I didn't comment much since Anne were among those who called me a cruel person, but now it has came back to bite her.
But wait, that's not all, according to Anne, Kendall lost her job because she tried to ask for a 100% increment and assaulted her supervisor when the increment request was turned down two weeks ago. She was immediately escorted out of the office building by security. And she just texted me 20mins ago saying she needed a favour from me that she wants a job at my workplace.
I replied stating there isn't any vacancy. Tbh even if there is I wouldn't hire her lmaoo.
So yea, I hope this is the last time I will hear from Kendall and I'll only update if somehow , something interesting happened that involves Kendall 🤣
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: "Anne told me she's planning to force Kendall out of her house too." How in the ever loving world did you not reply, "Wouldn't that be cruel though?"

OOP: I went with a sarcastic tone of, "Oh wow really? What happened?" 🤣

Commenter: Bet Kendall applies to the company and uses OP as a reference anyway.

OOP: Regarding this I have no worries about it since hr has to wait for me to filter through candidates for my department before sending out an email invite for job interviews. I'll make sure to shred Kendall's if I see hers

Commenter: What about the other departments??

OOP: She only has skills for my dept, sadly. I'm working in an advertising agency it's either graphic designer or motion designer, Kendall can't for the love of God make good designs. She would only want my department. Even if she tried, I doubt she could get into my company since one of the requirements is to be able to converse in basic japanese and you are tested during the interview plus you would need to show the certification of JLPT.
Thanks for giving this advice guys, but no worries I doubt Kendall would be able to pass the first screening :D

Commenter: I can imagine her turning up on your door step wanting a place to stay do you have a camera doorbell. just in case she will be getting desperate for friends and a place to stay now people are realising how crazy she is.

OOP: I have set up a new doorbell cam, I live in an apartment and there's plenty of cameras in the lift and corridor. Plus, I wouldn't be that afraid of her appearing at my door step since the security would call me to verify if I have visitors. A simple "no" would render her plans useless.

Commenter: Please keep us posted if anything happens with Kendall going forward. This is too funny and she’s too crazy for this to be the end of it.

OOP: Man I can't believe I was crying over the loss of this friendship. Rn I'm laughing at everything she has done or tried to do to people.

Commenter: Shouldn't she have been arrested for the assault? [at work]

OOP: Maybe her employer didn't press charges? Idk

Commenter: How many days she stay with Anne?

OOP: I think it's about or almost a month? She moved in quite quickly with Anne after I told her she had a week to leave.

Update Post 2: May 5, 2024 (3+ months from OG post)
At this point I wonder if I should change the title to "The Kendall Chronicles" 🤣
Hello everyone, it's been about two months since I kicked my now ex friend, Kendall out of my home. For those who has read my story before, just wanna let you guys know doggo and I are well fed and happy.
If you guys remember last time, Anne, one of my friends who sided with Kendall, told me about all the horrible things that has happened while having Kendall as a roommate. Ho boy, Anne had to call the cops to evict Kendall.
I happen to meet Anne at a pet friendly cafe to enjoy a good book yesterday while my doggo gets to enjoy playing at the doggy daycare-ish kinda area. I did wonder if it was intentional on her side since all my friends know I love this cafe in particular. Anne greeted me and asked if she could sit and have a chat with me. We started out with some small talk but the moment she brought up about her evicting Kendall, I just sat there and listened.
I gave Anne a smile and prodded her lightly with a comment I borrowed from the previous comment on reddit, "Oh, so you're gonna really kick her out then? I remember someone last told me it was cruel to kick a friend out of their homes." Anne stuttered for awhile before saying how I should have made a post to counteclarify Kendall's social media claims about me. I simply told her neither have I the energy to do so nor I have the need to. Which in turn, landed us in some brief awkward silence before I asked what she needed from me. Anne told me she wanted someone to vent to about Kendall and didn't know who to turn to.
Anne told me she filed a police report against Kendall; for theft and destruction of property, and ultimately Anne needed the assistance of police officers to evict Kendall from her home. She is also in the midst of filing a restraining order as she mentioned Kendall looked completely psycho at that moment. Unlike me, Anne lives in landed property so I guess she'd be a lot more worried about Kendall coming back to find her.
Kendall apparently stole Anne's debit card and spent a whopping 2k$ in total. Anne only found out about the missing money when she found her debit card missing from her wallet. She checked the bank statements only to find that 2k$ went to clothes, expensive meals and clubbing activities. At this point, one might ask, how did Anne know it was Kendall that spent that money? Well, the answer presented itself when Kendall came home screaming at Anne for terminating her debit card. According to Anne, Kendall was shouting every insult in the book while flailing her arms around with Anne's debit card in hand which Kendall proceeded with slamming the card on the table before storming off into her room.
That was the first time Anne felt afraid of another person much less a friend. Since then, Kendall made Anne's life hell on earth. Kendall would leech off Anne's groceries, judges her choice of snacks, body shames Anne etc. Kendall also attempted to seduce Anne's boyfriend. She once kissed Anne's boyfriend, (let's call him Jason) on the cheek and giggled before running straight for her room during movie night. In another instance she groped Jason's manhood right in front of Anne but later claimed that she was drunk and thought what she touched was a couch pillow. The worst thing that Kendall did was throwing herself onto Jason and saying she has a fever and later guided Jason's hand to feel her breast in which Anne walked in at the same time Jason's hand was under Kendall's shirt. These incidents has since cause a strain between the three and Jason felt awkward to the point where he told Anne he would stop visiting her house unless Kendall moves out. Anne cried for a bit when she reached this part.
Anne then told Kendall to move out, and gave her a week to do so. Kendall then cried and ran out of the house only to come back later in the evening to lock herself in her room. Anne presumed that Kendall is packing her stuff and she decided to ignore Kendall for the time being. The next morning Anne woke up to the sound of some grunts and broken ceramics. She rushed out to her yard to see an unhinged Kendall swinging a rod against everything she could hit, a tree, flower pots, even the grass on the ground. This led Anne to immediately lock her doors and call the police fearing for her own safety. The police arrived and handled the situation swiftly and they took Kendall away. There were still a lot of screaming and shouting. Anne said she's not sure if Kendall is being locked up or has anyone who would've posted bail for her.
While I guess it was kinda nice sipping tea about Kendall but at how Anne described Kendall is behaving, I wonder if she'd actually needed professional help. I can't help but feel sad for her condition despite we have gone no contact for two months.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: And why is this still your problem , Anne made her choice , why you still talk to her, she not a good friend , she is like Kendall, a two face snake.

OOP: I have went no contact since Anne's last call two months ago but I believed she went to my favourite cafe spot to try to bump into me and well I have a hard time turning others down so I decided to serve myself some Kendall tea I guess
After this I would probably not want to hear anything about Kendall, Anne or anybody that decided to take in Kendall

Commenter: What about Anne's bf ? He's not naive to the point of having his hand led under shirt iniit

OOP: Anne only told me about the things Kendall did to Jason, maybe she did mention his reaction but I just don't remember the entire thing she told me (I have bad memory)
The gist of it is that these "interactions" had affected their relationship. She didn't further elaborate I didn't probe.

Commenter: While these stories are interesting to read, I wonder how true they actually are. If her parents were so wealthy and paid for her education and car, then at what point has anyone called them and informed them to her behavior? I’m not buying it

OOP: I never had her parents' contact so it didn't really cross my mind to call her parents. While it is hard to believe, it is true, some of us had long severed ties with Kendall since her incident with me.
Kendall also didn't say much about her parents. For all I know was that she moved out of her parents' place because she wanted a better paying job.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/OkOstrich6619
AITAH for not sympathizing with my ex wife's AP after she groomed and abused him?
Originally posted to AITAH
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, grooming, sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, harassment, stalking
Original Post Apr 13, 2024
Longtime lurker and I've been struggling with my decision here
Some details will be vague for reasons I hope you all have the capacity to understand why
TW: Domestic and sexual abuse
Long backstory so bear with me. My (34M) ex (33F) admittedly had a ton of red flags when we started dating. She was my serious first relationship and I wasn't always very confident or outgoing compared to her, and ill always be kicking myself for practically dancing into the arms or a narcissist.
We got married way too young at 24 and 23, and the next several years were spent with her demanding my entire life change at her whims, mood swings, gaslighting when she seemed to be carrying on emotional affairs, isolating me, arguments out of nowhere, nights sleeping on the couch, financial abuse (her family is very well off, and they foot the bill for the wedding and our house) demeaning comments and general emotional abuse. One other thing was she was always more sexually adventures and always wanted to try newer and weirder things. I'm a little open minded but sometimes had to set firm boundaries with her or shut her down when it got too uncomfortable. This is important for later.
Back then I thought by just dealing with it I was being strong and protecting our marriage. If I could go back in time I would kick my younger selfs ass. 2 years back things came to a head. It came out she had been carrying on a full fledged affair with our neighbor's son who had only been 18 for around 6 months. We knew this kid since he was 16. At that point she was freshly 31. I finally pulled my head out my ass but by that point it was too late
The coming months absolutely fucking sucked. Got kicked out (her parents left the house to soley her. I never had any impression i was going to have any claim to it so I saw that coming at least), lawyer costs financially drained me, and moved in with my parents for the time being while my ex, her AP, her family and her APs family harassed me on the daily for months.
-my ex tried every dirty trick in the book on her parents dime with the divorce (somehow by thr grace of God and my lawyer I made it out relatively fine). She send grueling insults with every insult you could think of from a cheating narcissist

• her AP painted me as a crippled old man and had his friends send insulting messages, videos of him and my ex, and whatever they could think of on the daily and only stopped when I got law enforcement involved

-my exes family never liked me, and gladly jumped at the opportunity to mock me, and the APs family, who obviously saw dollar signs regardless of the greater context, had no problems joining in to score points
This brings me to around 3 weeks ago. By then 2 years had gone by, with me back on my feat, a year of therapy under my belt, a new job, a new sense of confidence, and recently a new girlfriend. Bit of info, I never left the area, my family only lived a couple of hours away from where my ex and I lived. My job is going too well to risk getting up and leaving for parts unknown. Because I was in the same area, I got little tidbits of info regardless if I wanted to hear or not. I know the APs family moved away, he moved in with her, and the world slowly saw less and less of him.
To sum it up, I got called by his family to see him in the hospital. I dont know all the details, but basically, roughly over a month ago my exes AP went dark. Over a 5 month period, they slowly heard less and less of him, but a month back they lost contact. Why it took them this long to raise hell is beyond me, but I imagine a family that would allow their son to be groomed for money isn't great at ensuring their son is ok. Police stopped by her house for a wellness check, only for him to answer the door looking like the walking dead. The poice found him, from what they describe, practically in hell. He had been routinely beaten and sexually abused nonstop for God knows how long.
The whole investigation has opened a black hole of craziness. I've asked around for more info and got little tidbits but not much. It was found that multiple people were involved and allegedly there are videos of what they were doing to him. They found evidence of God knows how many drugs and substances were being pumped into him. My ex and whoever else was involved are facing longer and longer sentences he more they find out
His family wants me to visit him as he wants to make amends. He wants to apologize, he's broken, he's scarred for life, he's suicidal, whatever reason they can spew out to bring me to him they've said it. But why should I be dragged into this shit?
His own family allowed practically sold him, my exes family seem to actually have had no knowledge of this and are practically scraping their hands clean and throwing her to the wolves, but I have to step back into this? I get he was groomed, I get he was influenced, and I understand some truly awful stuff happened to him, but why should I come back o all this and let the people who hurt me know all is forgiven? They've been harassing me about this nonstop now and even family think I should talk to him
MINOR UPDATE: I guess posting about this gave me the kick in the ass to communicate with my family. Mainly, its my parents who are encouraging reaching out. They explained their reasoning to me, and it makes sense where they are coming from. They are simply worried that if I try and ignore them it will kick off another year long harassment campaign from them. They saw how messed up I was last time I went through this, and they simply wanted it to end quickly so I didn't go through the same shit again. I have assured them there's no way they'll be able to go through with that again and worst case scenario I'll change my number again. They understand and have stopped pushing
FINAL UPDATE: I'm gonna bow out of the situation. No dramatic confrontation. No big show to everyone. Just gonna have my lawyer draw up a statement requesting to be left alone and ill double check making sure I wont have to be involved in any proceedings in the near future. From the brief chat I had with my lawyer so far, there's no real logical reason for me to be involved unless either side was getting desperate. Regardless, I have pages of documentation from way back showing my concern towards his age as well as clearly stating I was not involved in what transpired since then. I understand many of you wanted something more dramatic, but thats just how it is. All the loose ends are wrapped up and I'm moving on
BONUS: I wont be deleting the account yet despite what I claimed earlier just in case something comes up or happens. However, do not expect court updates as that takes a very long time and I most likely won't have any involvement.
I can share a couple theories from people I have heard about what is happening. These are all bits of info passed down by mutuals of mutuals, and have been going through a game of telephone for weeks, so please assume these are either wildly exaggerated or outright BS
-APs family and ex in laws family are all prepping to stab eachother in the back as each seem to be holding onto dirt to use against the other, possibly knowledge of the affair going on before 18
-EX in retaliation for being abandoned has knowledge of, and I quote directly from the messenger, "tax stuff" regarding her parents. It isn't some big thing that would be federal, probably just some money out of their pockets down the line. Her family aren't powerful, just well off
-there is no big trafficking ring or larger scale operation going on, it was just 4 or 5 freaks who found eachother online that she gathered. This seems more plausible
-AP's father is bordering on having to be placed under suicide watch
-AP's mother apparently had reservations from the begginging, pretty much got bought off, and is now livid and considering divorce
-AP is trying to get his friends for support and they are bailing. Some of these guys were part of the original harassment campaign way back and have apparently realized the error of their ways and don't want to step back in
-One of his abusers from the group got a knock at the door by the police at home with his wife and kids and killed himself on the spot (this has also been called out as fake by another person, and there is no evidence this happened but its still in a grey area as no one knows the names of who was involved, just the number of people)
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Vast-Combination4046

Did your ex get into meth out of the blue? This seems like meth head stuff

OOP

There are theories and stories from those i dare asked. None of them pleasant. But considering what his family mentioned about him being forced into drugs I'm going to assume she was on them as well.

~
robertscoff

There could be a possibility of being a witness, if revenge on your ex is something that would make you feel ok? NTA but the kid was essentially a child when groomed so I would suggest at least let go of that hatred, even if you choose to remain uninvolved. Best wishes

OOP

I assume I have no real reason to be called upon as a witness for whatever happens, unless they somehow try to go all the way back to the beginning and get me involved which seems wild to me

This however is all speculative and also, despite how quickly Reddit stories want us all to think with this stuff, is going to take a while to go to court

Update May 5, 2024
Apologizes in advance, this update will be stupid and asinine
So as I always knew was a possibility, sending a letter from my lawyer to the AP's parents wasn't the bulletproof shield I was hoping it would be. Desperate people aren't swayed by mere legal matters. Within 2 days things started spiraling out of control, and very quickly they called me directly again
Make no mistake, I saw the writing on the wall. Somehow I'll be getting dragged into this no matter what. My parents and girlfriend were as supporting as they could be. But at some point I said screw it and arranged to talk with the APs dad. I know, I'm an idiot and a fool, but I need to actually know what's going on.
To condense what was discussed without spilling any info in regards to the investigation, everyone was turning against eachother and our for blood, and secrets were finally spilling.
The AP's Dad: he opened the floodgates. As I knew, everyone was basically aware that my Ex groomed him most likely starting at 16. If there was any physical proof such as messages, they're long gone. This kid was basically a bad seed, history of trouble without a clear direction in his future. His dad is a confusing person. He is the kind of dad that wanted to be rid of his problem child, but also was "proud" in a way of his son getting involved with the hot older woman with a well off family. He basically spilled the beans that he supported the relationship as it gave him the benefit of getting his son out of his house, and gladly took whatever my exes family offered as a token of appreciation. He was a lousy father plain and simple. As time went by, he appeared to realize the situation he out his son in, and it only got worse with...
The APs Mom: she was a stay at home mother who always was the silent submissive partner in the marriage. As it turns out, she raised hell from the beggining, but at the behest of her husband (I'm suspecting this marriage is way more abusive then he let on) he got her to drop it. He controlled her enitre life practically. She never was happy and always tried to get her son help and get him away from my ex. After what has happened the last few weeks, she has had it. She is divorcing him, letting his family know what happened, and plans on cleaning him out in the divorce. The silent submissive wife was driven too far. From what I saw of the Dad, it's hit him hard how his years of bad choices have ruined his family. He is a hollow shell of a man
My Ex and her family: they're tearing eachother apart. My ex has lost her job, reputation, her circle of freaks, and her money. Her parents, their family humiliated, their involvement taking over local gossip, and desperate to salvage the fallout they'll endure when more people find out, are in the midst of a separation and a brutal divorce is on the horizon. However, the possibility of an investigation is at risk due to...
The AP: my jaw hit the fucking floor when I heard about him. He is backpeddling hard. Over the last 2 weeks he has been retracting every claim, every accusation, every bit of evidence that could put these sick freaks in prison. I shit you not, and I wish I had the capacity to make this up, he has gotten the people who are on video sexually abusing him to verify with him that they were taking part in recording fetish porn. My brain simply cannot comprehend this. It just won't allow me. Now I'm not stupid, he is clearly psychologically broken. He was alone with them for months. He needs a psychiatrist immediately.
The reason they are so desperate for me to be involved is because it's the last desperate flails of a collapsing group of narcissists and parental failures desperately trying to talk to him, and they want me involved as they need people with history with my ex to try and actually make a case since their son is doing everything he can to not make one happen. As of now, any case against my ex is in limbo
It's just so sad. This situation is so stupid all around because it was so avoidable. All the dad had to do was be a proper guiding father to his son, help him become a proper adult. All his mom had to do was not be a pushover. All my exes parents had to do was not support an illegal relationship just to spite me. All my ex had to do was not be an awful human being
Now a kid is possibly deeply mentally broken permanently all because the guiding figures in his life didn't care. I won't lie, I still hate him so much, but he doesn't deserve this
If I ever update again, it would be a year or so down the road after all the dust has settled. This is such a stupid pointless situation
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

So I’m up to issue 49 (no spoilers past that please) and I was just realising how weirdly blended and smooth everything looks. Maybe people prefer this but I personally much prefer the are back in issues 24 and stuff as they seem to just have more detail. Does this problem get any better? Apart from this I’m really enjoying the comics. Below is 1 a page out of issue 24 i believe and 2 a page out of issue 49.

this is my first post, so i'm sorry in advance for my bad writing skills n my bad english. thanks.
i did write in the title i've been depressed in the past couple of days. that is because i have a family matter. well actually it's not really a family matter, but it's related to my family n my whole entire family got dragged into this matter. i hope you guys have nothing to do and be seated comfortably cuz this will be a one heck of a complicated n confusing story.
so i have an older sister (23F) that works in another city far away from home. she had been working since around 2018/2019 until now. my dad told her not to work 'loyally'(loyally means u work u butt off for the company while u didn't even get paid enough) and don't stay there for too long. so far all is good until i wanted to go to college in another country. i just started my college last year, so i can say that the preparation started since the last 2022. on the late july until the early august 2023 my sister texted me she had a problem with her bf (31M). i was so confused bcs she had never mentioned it before n now out of the blue she just texted me that she needs money, her bf took her phone, she got beaten up by her bf (which is only a punch but it's not a "joking punch" kinda thing), she got threatened by her bf, if she didn't go to him asap he will committed suicide by jumping on the middle of the street and wait for someone to hit him, and many other things.
this is where all the problems starts. she live in a boarding house and there is where she knew her bf. a long time ago my sister got in a bad online loans and she can't get out of it. she got a lot of threats from debt collectors and even threatened to come to my house. so this dude just come offering his help to my sister. at the end, all of her debt r all paid n me n my fam can breath freely (all of this problem starts in 2022). in 2023, she told me that her phone is taken by her bf. i can't quite remember the whole story but what i remember my sister lost her previous phone n her bf gave her his' bcs he had another phone. if i'm not wrong, her bf sold his phone bcs he doesn't have any money. then he took my sister phone which he had given to her and bought a new phone with my sister's online shop acc and used her paylater to buy himself a new phone. i'm really confused bcs he is so good at manipulating ppl to think that he is the "good guy" which actually he stole a lot from my sister. based on the information i got, he had been divorced with his ex wife bcs his ex wife had a child that is not actually his. so they actually got mariied bcs this girl is pregnant aand claiming the baby is his n after married, he later soon found out that the baby is not his, so he got divorced with his ex wife. i got mad when i know that he ever got married. he also like to curse my sister. there's a lot of radflags flying around him, yet my sister still want to date him. he used to manipulate my sister, borrowed her money and etc. until on january 2024, on the last day of my exam, i got a text at dawn from my sister that she needs money. that time i haven't slept yet bcs i'm still studying. she said that she wanted to borrow some money, and i didn't hesitate to lend her some money. later in the morning before my exam started, my sister asked me what did she text. i was so confused until she told me that she didn't text me at dawn. at that moment i knew that i got scammed. and my sister also said her money on her e-wallet was gone. keeping in mind that my parents didn't know abt this problem. long story short, my sister's friend lend her a phone until she bought a new phone.
recently, my sister called me at around 5am and told me that she's afraid, she can't sleep, she wanted me to accompany her until she fell asleep. i, myself a person who doesn't like to be disturb but i just let the phone on until she hung up on her own. before, she had lost her debit card and i'm sure that her bf took it. when my sister asked him, he gone mad and cursing my sister. he said he will give back the money eventho he didn't take her debit card (but actually he did). my sister told me that she wants to resign for her job and go home but she doesn't have the courage bcs she's to embarrassed going home without any money. so i told her, it doesn't matter if she have any money or not, at least she's home safe n sound together with my family. i told her i'll pay the ticket for her to go home, for now just submit her resignation letter. since that day i texted my sister to know the progress of her resignation and what transport did she want to use. until 3 days ago i texted her and the message didn't got delivered. i was so worried bcs recently there r a lot of news saying someone kill a person, someone mutilated a woman and whatsoever. not long after worrying, my sister text me throguh dm telling me that her phone had been stolen. and yep, u guessed it right. it's her bf. i was so mad bcs i knew the reason why he stole it. he stole it cuz he knew that my sister will go back to her hometown and he wouldn't have anybody to steal money from anymore. since this incident i got mad to my sister and insisted her to tell our parents, but bcs she can't call them, then i'm the ended up telling all the stories. the next day her bf texted me through my sister's whatsapp n pretending to be her saying that her boss gave her money to buy a new phone but her boss wanted to give the money cash so she had to take it in the office. she (her bf) said that she wants to go buy the phone first b4 going to the office so she asked me if i can lend her some money. well unfortunately i don't have a lot of money that time, but she said it's okay, just give her all of my money and she will return it immediately after she took the money at the office. i did almost let my guard down and wanted to send her the money until she said to send the money to her e-wallet, not to her bank acc. i became suspicious and keep on texting her. eventually 'she' stop asking me money. i asked my sister's colleague if he was with my sister, bcs 'my sister' said that she went to buy a phone with him and i have his number so i texted him to make sure. but he said that 'my sister' is going to buy some stuff for the office with my aunt (my aunt live in the same city but it's far away from my sister's office). so i called my aunt to make sure. and yes, all my suspicions were true. it was not my sister. i told my sister's colleague that it wasn't my sister but he didn't believe me and still sent 'her' the money. my family r all very worried abt my sister and the problem hasn't been solved untill now bcs there r a lot of problems with this dude.
maybe i'll stop here for now bcs it's getting too long and u guys might get bored bcs of my story. any idea how to take care of this jackass? it's driving me insane especially i'm far away from my home.

Been with her for almost two years it’ll be two in June.
I leave for the marines tmmrw , recently she has been beyond distant , we’ve hung out ect she says she loves me cares but then I’ll go home to see family ect. She all the sudden has been hanging out with her school “friends” supposedly and has been at new houses I’ve never seen her go to at all.
She doesn’t answer my phone she let it ring , hits voicemail , then doesn’t text me even though I’ll text her. I truly care a lot about this girl , she’s been on family trips , family dinners , claims to love my family , my grandmas been having health problems and idk how long she has she claims that she’ll visit them when I’m at bootcamp. My aunt and cousin have offered to do things with her while I’m gone I thought it was good.
I’m not one to be a helicopter boyfriend I try my best not to but idk I leave for my career. And all the sudden she doesn’t want to answer , I really just want a simple text. I want to text her and tell her wtf but I prefer to suffer in silence.
It’s just odd , idk if she’s fucking some dude , finding a replacement, I guess the grand old end of the day I’m going to better myself and if she wants some lame stuck in our home town that’s all cool , just failed promises and “wasted time”
Am I overreacting or what cause to me if you loved someone you’d want to talk to them more before they leave. Truly a shame.
The past idk 3 days she’s been going to her friends house says she’ll call me , I wake up in the am to nothing and her still being there.
My gut tells me one of two things and idk I’d rather split up before I leave then get a letter later on. Never in my life have I EVER been this comfortable with a girl. It’s fucked up I guess but it’s life Idek.

Hi! We have a 17 month old and we both work full time in finance. We also commute 1 hr each way. My husband is in 5x a week, with an occasional day home and I’m in 3x a week.
My husband really wants a second baby and I’m feeling unsure due to our work, age (over 35) and whether having a second baby will even be feasible. Our child is in daycare full time as a nanny wouldn’t fulfill the hrs we need given our commutes.
I’m contemplating switching companies, but I’m in an industry where I’m not going to get more flexibility or any better than 12-16 weeks mat leave. We’re pretty exhausted with our child but we have a good system and I’m beginning to feel normal again…I feel like a second would totally upend that. Not to mention the cost of two daycares, the exhaustion, and the potential impact to my career.
Ultimately my husband really wants a second and I always thought I did but now I’m on the fence, although I really want a sibling for my child. Would love to hear from parents in a similar situation and what made you decide one way or another!!

So, from the start, at the time, I was 17 male and her, let's call her unicorn, 16 female were best friends in my junior year of high school (she was a sophomore). I knew her since 8th grade and have been friends since. I am by no means the most attractive guy, but she is very attractive and has always had guys try to become her friends just to get with her. Of course, I had feelings for her, but not for her looks but more for her personality. But she made it very clear that I was her friend by telling me things like, "Dude, I can never make any guy friends without them liking me but you," and other hints. So I respected her and I hid my feelings for her and treated her like a I would a friend.
During my junior year of high school, I started taking better care of myself and became a little more self-conscious about my actions and the way I looked. That same year, me and her got very close. One night, both of our families were invited to a gathering at someone's house(mostly adults we were the only people in that age group). At that gathering, a conversation came up about intimacy, and we had kind of a talk about sex, and it was a very weird moment between us. Later on in that week, at around 8 p.m, she asked me to go on a walk with her. Keep in mind that it was autumn/fall time and was very chilly. I just bought a new sweater and was excited to show off my new fit to her. When I arrived at her house, she came out in a tank top, and I suggested that she pick up a jacket, and she responded, "I don't need one."" Throughout the walk, she mentioned she was cold, but I did not pick up the hint. Towards the end of the walk, we stopped, and she said she was freezing, and like the idiot I am, instead of offering her my sweater, I said, "You should have brought a jacket." The The same day (when we got home), I was later introduced to her friend group of girls via facetime call. She is a pretty antisocial person and always had trouble making friends, so I was one of her first close friends. When she introduced me to her friends, we got along very well, and we had that group, and I was very happy that she got along with others.
As time went on, another boy was introduced to this group. Let's call him Apple. Apple, a 16-year-old male, had asked the unicorn out before to Hoco and got rejected by her. I was against Apple joining the group, but I did not convey that since I did not want people to think of me in a bad way. After Apple joined, everything was different. He was a lot more social than I was, and Apple and Unicorn ended up facetiming alone till 3 a.m. Of course, I was jealous since I liked her.
At the end of the year, an orchestra trip (we were both in the orchestra) was planned to go to Disney World, and I was hoping to become close to her again as we didn't talk as much. During that trip, I just got better from having COVID-19, and I had to sit alone in the back of the bus (a 24-hour ride to Florida). During that time, Unicorn texted me how cramped it was in the front, and I offered for her to sit next to me on the way back. The day after we arrived, we went to the first park, and it went very well. We stuck together, and everything was going great! We both had an amazing time, and I bought her ice cream as well. The next day, I had not gotten that much sleep, so I was very grumpy. We had a group of people, and as we walked around the second park, I was getting pretty hungry. I don't remember the whole thing, but I had an argument with another girl (let's call her Mango), and we both ended up raising our voices. We went our ways, but I apologized, and she forgave me 10 minutes later. The next day, we went to the magic kingdom. My allergies were horrible that day, and I practically passed out, and I wasn't with my group that much. On the way back to our bus, we had to take the subway. Me, Unicorn, and another guy (let's call him Bannana) were all holding onto a poll in the train. As the train moved back and forth, the unicorn's chest pressed against the banana's hand. Bannana told me about this, and he said, "I am unlucky and lucky at the same time." Since I didn't want to cause anything, I simply agreed with him and thought badly of him. Once we got on the bus, I ended up telling Unicorn about what happened, and she said "whatever," which was really weird and didn't even say anything.
As she sat down next to me, she kept asking me to watch this movie called Hurculies. I declined because I was exhausted. I ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up, I noticed she was giving me the cold sholder, so I asked her if she wanted to watch hurcules with me, and she said no in a stern voice. Throughout the rest of the ride, I kept asking her questions like what she was reading or listening to, but I kept getting dry responses. At that time, she also fell asleep on my shoulder but ended up waking up, and I don't think she noticed.
We got back, and everyone had AP exams, and apparently there was a plan to meet up at the unicorn house after exams. I mentioned in the group chat that I wouldn't be able to attend, and everyone asked why except for Unicorn, who said, "It's ok, no need to reschedule over 1 person," which caught me off-guard. I could have gone, but I really wanted to see if the unicorn disliked me. Another thing is that we used to send cat memes to each other, but that also stopped, and she even said, "I'm a dog person now." It was very clear to me that she didn't like me at all, and throughout the summer I was distraught and very upset, wondering why she hated me. She was arguably one of my closest friends and now we weren't even on talking terms. Towards the end of summer, I was invited to go bowling with the friend group, including Unicorn, and I did not talk to her at all. I assumed she was against inviting me. Some rumors flew here and there, and first I was told that I slept on her shoulder, which is why she hates me. I also found out she used to like me during the fall and winter (what a surprise), and then I was told other things. We ended up going to another gathering, as I was forced to go, and when I was there, it seemed like she kept trying to get into a conversation with me and this other girl. So I decided to unblock her later that day and send her a message asking if we could talk. I asked to talk in person or on a walk, but she declined and only said she wanted to call. It turned out she was uncomfortable being in person with me. We ended up calling and talking about what happened. I apologized for what I learned, and she just accepted my apology and said, "I'm over it." She also mentioned she did not like that I yelled at mango and some other stuff that happened during the trip. She did not say anything to me after leaving me in the dark all summer, and I was pretty disappointed.
Now, two months ago (2024 current time), I found out the real reason we stopped being friends. On the subway train at Disney, she heard the conversation between me and Bananna, but she heard something different. She heard me say, "You're so lucky, Bananna," and it made me sound like a weirdo, which is why she stopped talking to me and stopped being my friend. Since I was born, I was always taught to respect others, especially women, so this was not something I took lightly. I was very upset that she heard this and that she told many others something I had not said. Further, she said I told her on the bus to make bananas look bad.
Now that I am past my current date, I am graduating in one week and plan on writing letters thanking people who have made an impact on my life. I don't know if I should write to her and tell her the truth or leave it. I already know where she is planning on going to college since she told me when we were friends, so I doubt she would go to my college, and we are majoring in completely different majors (my CS and her med). Should I write to her?

Today my mom came home from visiting my grandma with a gift for me. My grandma is trying to show support for my decision to convert to Judaism, which I am in year three of. Unfortunately, I still cannot for the life of me read most Hebrew handwriting 😅 I usually try to translate things myself to practice remembering what certain frequently encountered words mean, but I'm really bad at knowing what these letters actually are. What does this say??

My home insurance co sent me a letter and asked when or if I redo my roof with receipt/invoice to prove. I let them know that my roof was redone in 2018. (My home insurance annual renewal date is in Aug) Yesterday I received an invoice of $790 to cover the premium DIFFERENCE from Aug 23 to Aug 24. I can understand if insurance co ask the difference to cover from now to the renewal date but can they charge me for Aug 23 to May 24? Is this legal to charge backward? BTW I never made any claim. Does anyone has such kind of experience?

How can I improve my island rating reasonably quickly? I am so crippled by the economy of the game because it forces you to immediately upgrade your house every time you pay off the first one because there's never any room for stuff, so I don't really have the ability to craft anything I have to store.
I have:

• nearly every miles DIY printed instructions from the terminal
• an orchard with apples and peaches in rows and then oranges scattered about the island, with coconut trees on the corners of the sandy bits and a small bamboo hill atop a mountain.
• I made a rainbow path from the dock, but have not unlocked a single noncustom path yet to add
• I started a major bridge but it'll be a month of gameplay before I can pay it off at this rate with having to constantly pay 25,000 bells a day for my home perpetually. I'm constantly crunched for storage to the point I can't craft things because I can't store them. The day I upgraded my home last I was already immediately at nearly 80% capacity the same day just putting the stuff I had littered my home with away where it belongs (like clothes and such that were temp stored on the walls).
• I have a double garden of potatoes and tomatoes, but playing for 2 months consistently I never got the seed guy more than 3 times and twice he brought tomatoes.
• I have a playstructure and basketball area, campfire area from way back at the beginning and such. benches in some places
• The Nook shop got it's main upgrade, the museum is probably 40% complete, and I have the tailor shop. I don't know if there are more shops that open.
• I have 8 residents but 2 properties have not been bought this whole week. I will probably have the last 2 within a week or two if the game let's me.
• There are zero weeds, I keep them gone.

Previous Posts
Haha I bet that title makes you all nervous. Don't worry, I'm not talking about my rules. I'm talking about the campus's rules. Like the ones about trespassing.
I was packing my backpack at the end of class when Professor Monotone called my name and asked if he could talk to me for a moment. In his office. Which obviously meant that it had to do with the inhuman, because I couldn’t think of any other reason to hold a conversation in private like that, so of course I agreed. My study group could wait. I texted them I wasn’t going to make it on the way to his office, which I’m sure was disappointing because the study group is more like me tutoring them for an hour.
Actually a pretty good way to make sure you understand the material yourself, I’m finding.
“I wanted to talk to you because I don’t want to see your future here at the college impacted,” he began as soon as the office door was closed and I was sitting down.
Which is a hell of a way to start. You all know I’m an anxious person. We’re lucky that I didn’t keel over dead right then and there. Especially since he said all that in a particularly somber tone with just enough uncomfortableness to indicate that he didn’t want to be having this conversation either.
So I sat there, stunned, like a deer in the headlights right before being struck by a semi. Inside, my mind was concocting a dozen scenarios of what could possibly be so wrong as to get me expelled from the university - because sure, that’s what this was about, what else could be so serious that it would merit an earnest discussion about my future here?
And let’s be real - I’ve probably done some things by now that could get me expelled. Mostly trespassing, but in the moment, the first thing that came to mind was how I killed the flickering man. Surely that was why he wanted to talk to me. The university knew I was responsible and was coming for me.
“I know you’re determined to figure out the… strange… things happening on campus,” he continued, “but you need to be a little more judicious about going into places you don’t belong.”
Okay. Trespassing it was. My heart resumed beating, albeit at about four times its normal rate.
“Sorry,” I said. “I’ll stay out of the graveyard. It was kind of an emergency last time, though.”
Probably shouldn’t have tried to make excuses. That rarely goes over well. But he ignored all that and furrowed his brow in confusion.
“Graveyard?” he said. “They don’t go after people that get into the graveyard unless they’re committing vandalism. No, I’m worried about the power plant.”
Wait, what?
While I sat there in mute confusion, he elaborated that he saw me sneaking inside the other day. He wasn’t sure where I got a key or if I knew how to pick locks, but that was irrelevant, I really shouldn’t be in there. The university was a bit more touchy about students trespassing in that building than others.
“I don’t go anywhere near the power plant,” I protested, when he was done. “Are you sure it was me?”
Like. Trauma. I’m not a fan of the place. Professor Monotone just scratched his thinning hair thoughtfully and reiterated that yes, he was pretty certain it was me.
“Could campus be doing something weird?” I persisted. “Like - are you seeing a - a ghost vision of me? Or some other kind of double? I don’t want to ever go near that place, there’s something wrong with it, and it scares me.”
I was talking way too fast. He listened solemnly and it was actually kind of nice to talk to a professor that didn’t assume it was all in my head and try to get me into therapy. Therapy DID help I don’t want to downplay that, but ALSO it’s nice to just have someone listen and be like yes, being afraid of a certain building is a completely valid emotional response to have because this campus is infested with monsters.
He might have been wrong, he said. It was from a distance. Then he quickly changed the topic to whether I was interested in the summer internship thing and I said I was. He said he’d write a letter of recommendation but I needed to get him my resume. I’ve actually never written a resume before, I got my job back home because it’s a small town and everyone knows everyone. I’ve got an appointment with the job center for next week to get help writing a resume. I feel like this is a resource I should have learned about much earlier in my college career than this. Oh well. Better late than never.
Then, once the mundane topics were covered and we were safely no longer talking about the power plant, I decided to ask what Professor Monotone knew about the university president. Turns out it wasn’t as risky a question as I expected, as he doesn’t know much. Seems alright, he said. Doesn’t make a lot of public or even private appearances, but things are generally well-run around here.
“And the previous president?” I asked. “Do you know anything about him?”
“Not really,” he finally said. “We haven’t had any other president while I’ve been working here. Is this something I should look into?”
I was sorely tempted. He had resources I didn’t and from the way he asked, from the way he lowered his voice and the solemn intensity of his gaze, I knew that he was also asking - is this something unnatural I should be concerned about?
“It’s… not very safe,” I replied, my voice similarly soft. “Do you remember what happened to the folklore professor last year?”
“Ah. Yes. That. There was an official explanation given but I heard rumors otherwise. I’ll just… proceed with caution, hmm?”
I hesitated for a moment. Time to ask the really big question.
“Have they said anything about the current president being dead?” I asked.
I stg his eyebrows about shot off the top of his head. So no. They haven’t said anything yet.
That pretty much wrapped up the conversation. He had a potentially dead president to worry about and I had the power plant on my mind. Obviously I did the smart thing. I went straight back to my apartment to enlist the help of my trusty friends that keep me grounded and help me think of alternatives that aren’t reckless and risky. Hahah jk I went to the power plant.
As always, I have excuses. And I’m sure you’re all getting tired of hearing them and seeing me choose things that I know I shouldn’t do. But there’s this wild feeling in my chest, like a soda can that’s just fallen down a flight of stairs, and it's driving me forward. Telling me to run and never stop, just run until I collapse because this is all too much, the enormity of my uncertain future and my uncertain survival is like watching the earth all around me crumble into the abyss and all I can do is keep moving before it collapses under my feet.
So yeah. I’m not going to tell you my reasons for going alone. I don’t fully understand them myself.
Though to be fair, I wasn’t planning on going inside. Not until I got there and saw one of the doors near the loading dock hanging open by a foot.
A couple options ran through my head. The first one, the one that made my heart feel like it’d been encased in ice, was that the Folklore Society was following in Patricia’s footsteps. Which was ridiculous, according to Maria they hadn’t talked about the power plant at all, and she’d been attending their meetings and watching their discord channel for specifically that. I hastily shoved that one aside, before I dwelled on it too long and dredged up certain things that I keep stored in the corner of my mind, out of sight, where I don’t have to acknowledge they exist.
The more reasonable alternatives were that someone else, perhaps my look-alike, was sneaking inside. Or someone from the university with legitimate business was inside and forgot to shut the door behind them. I decided to play the role of the good student, noticing a door was open that shouldn’t be, and checking to make sure everything was okay. I stuck my head inside and called out, asking if anyone was in here, saying that I saw the door was open and if that was a mistake.
Nothing. My eyes quickly adjusted to the gloomy interior and my heart sank even further. This door opened to a stairwell. They could have gone further inside the building, I suppose, but that door was shut and when I checked the handle it was locked. Then, if it wasn’t a forgetful employee, the person probably took the stairs.
To the basement.
I was about to turn around and leave because this really wasn’t a problem I had any reason to be sticking my nose into, but then I thought I saw something. A shadow along the stairwell wall. Someone going down the stairs, just out of sight. There was a strange glint too, like the flash of light reflecting off something shiny. It was there for only a moment and then it was gone.
I think being an overachiever is working against me because I apparently can’t leave things half-done. I went after them, because obviously I had to, right? I can’t pass up extra credit even when I’m passing the class and I apparently can’t walk away when someone is walking into danger right in front of me.
I hurried down the stairs to where the door to the basement hung open. It took me a moment of searching to find the person I was pursuing. I scanned the vast, dark room frantically, wondering why I couldn’t find them, they weren’t that far ahead of me, but I didn’t see any movement. I’d almost convinced myself that I was merely seeing things when my gaze was drawn, reluctantly, to that shallow pool of endless water at the far end of the room.
There was someone kneeling by the pool of black water.
No. No no no no no. I walked towards them, moving briskly, then breaking into a run, driven by the growing panic in my chest. All I could think of was those hands I held, pulling with all of my might, long after they went still. I couldn’t do that again. I couldn’t watch the water take someone else.
“Hey!” I called as I approached. “Hey, get away from that! It’s not safe.”
I was mere feet away when they raised their head and turned to look at me. I had a moment of realization, the glint of the faint light in the basement off something metal.
Then the stabbed student lunged at me. His hand closed on the front of my shirt and then the world tumbled around me, I was falling, skidding along the ground to come to a stop on my back, staring up at the face hidden under the shimmering glint of thousands of safety pins. I put a hand back to push myself up and felt it slip, felt my fingers touch something wet and cold as ice.
I’d slid to a stop right against the edge of the pool.
Frantically, nearly blind with terror, I flipped over and began to get up as quickly as I could. I was on one knee when a hand gripped the back of my head.
And began to push.
James was relentlessly strong. My foot slipped on the concrete, I almost went head-first into the water, only saving myself with my hands on the edge of the pool, the gritty ground digging into my palms. And all I could think of was why here, why was he here? He couldn’t leave the geology building with me, so why here?
I stared down into the water. My reflection stared up at me, my eyes wide with fear. And behind me was James, his face obscured by my own so that in my reflection, it looked like it was my face the safety pins were stabbed into.
I didn’t dare try to twist or turn out of their grip, for fear of losing what precarious leverage I had, my hands planted firmly on the edge of the pool, trying to lock my arms so that they couldn’t shove my face any closer to the water. My breath came in short, panicked gasps. Could I kick him? Would that work on a ghost?
Of course it would work. His hand was solid on the back of my head.
I rolled onto my back, kicking his legs as I did. His grip switched from the back of my head to around my throat. I tried to find purchase around his wrist, knocking dozens of safety pins out of their flesh in the process. They clattered on the ground around me, the metal against cement sounding like the faint chime of bells. I found cold, dead flesh underneath. Wrapped my fingers around it, sucking in one deep breath to give me the strength I needed next. The ghost’s grip was strong, pressing down on my throat, but it wasn’t fully cutting off my ability to breath. Like he wasn’t trying to kill me. But I could feel the presence of the pool beneath my head, I could feel the weight of the water as it soaked into my hair. I felt my neck slowly bending backwards under the pressure, inching ever closer to the water.
I twisted my body around, using the ghost’s arms as leverage. I pulled him towards the pull and pushed myself away.
I admit I expected more resistance. We were locked in a struggle, after all, and I expected to maybe move myself maybe a half foot away from the pool and no further. Just enough to give myself a bit more space to fight back in.
James went limp. He weighed almost nothing at all. And I, in shock and surprise, threw him over me and into the water.
I screamed. I scrambled to my feet, covering my hands with my mouth and sucking in sharp, panicked gasps. Before me was the pool of water, black, devoid of reflection, and utterly flat. Still. Not a ripple in sight. The stabbed student was just… gone.
DID I KILL HIM!?!
I want to throw up just thinking about it. That’s not what I wanted. James was… scary. Intimidating, and maybe a little bit dangerous. But I think he was also a victim of this damn university and I -
I don’t like killing these things. They’re alive. They’re sentient. They’re not like us, they don’t experience emotions like us, but they have wants and desires, and yes they feed on us, but I don’t think I can be the person to kill them. I don’t think that’s me. Maybe that makes me a coward, maybe I’m too sensitive, but killing the flickering man? That’s not me. I realize that now.
Would I repeat my decision to kill him if I could do it all over again? Yes, we were locked in a me or him situation and even with the gift of hindsight, I see no escape from that. Too many forces outside of my ability to control had conspired against me. The devil, for one, trapping me on campus. The flickering man, the other, for clinging so tightly to whatever vision necessitated my removal. But it doesn’t mean I’m going to keep choosing that going forward, if there is any alternative.
We like to think that everyone should be capable of fighting and killing anything that threatens us, but the reality is that most people are going to be like me. Society would fall apart if we didn’t hesitate to take a life. And if you think I’m being weak or shirking my responsibility here: hunt them yourself.
I won’t be the executioner around campus. Find someone else to be that kind of hero.
Yet there I was, staring at that blank pool of water and wondering if I’d just fed James to the entity responsible for him being trapped here as a ghost.
I think it’s all connected. The traveling river. The pool in the basement. The tree. And whatever rules over the inhumans. I don’t know how or what it is or what it wants, but I feel in my gut that it’s all connected.
I stayed there long enough for my heart to stop trying to claw its way out of my body before I realized where I was and how unsettled I felt, staring at the water, like the world was pressing in close around me so tight that I couldn’t breath. So I turned and ran. Yes. Literally ran, too afraid to look back, until I was outside of the power plant and long gone.
I was still hyped up on adrenaline I guess, because then I did something far bolder than I normally would. I texted Grayson and told him that we need to talk or our friendship wouldn’t survive. That I could understand him needing space and even being curt with me, but that it couldn’t continue indefinitely.
And that I knew what it was like to lose a father. That you have to keep living, even while it hurts, because that pain never goes away. It just changes shape, but it’s always there, like a pebble in your shoe.
He’s going to come over tomorrow. I’m making sure to write all of this up before then.
In case I forget.
In the meantime, I did tell Cassie about a look-alike visiting the power plant. We’ve got a plan. I came up with this idea. I’m rather proud of myself.
We bought a camera. One of those motion activated ones that hooks up to your smartphone. It also has night vision. Then we snuck into the power plant. I stayed outside and kept watch while Maria and Cassie went inside and found a place to leave it. Somewhere we had a clear view of the pool of water in the basement, but where I or anyone else wouldn’t easily see it.
We’re going to figure out exactly what’s going on.
Also, yes, I’m fully aware of the irony of Professor Monotone telling me to stay away from the power plant and then we immediately trespass twice in a twenty-four hour period.