Dating in illinois

DatingInIndia

2019.04.25 22:38 lightnh DatingInIndia

Dating disucssion, tips, guides, experience and whatnot. We know dating or online dating or any form of courting is itself a daunting task in India. Hope this sub will make it easier.

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2022.08.25 07:22 DatingInMumbai

A subreddit for people in/around Mumbai looking to date/date suggestions.

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2022.11.20 03:28 Dating_in_your_60s

An uncensored place to discuss, tell stories, ask questions and get advice about finding love in your 60’s.

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2024.05.23 03:22 Optimal-Associate-77 Employment law vs free speech vs SEC

Location is Illinois.
The SEC has been targeting investment banks and brokedealers for lapses in record keeping for not having policies and surveillance in place to prevent communication between colleagues on non-archived methods (texts, WhatsApp, etc). The most egregious examples are investment banking deals being done with certain aspects being discussed and agreed to over text or WhatsApp. The fines levied by the SEC have totaled in the billions thus far.
My firm has added policies that limit our abilities to message colleagues on unmonitored systems in any form other than logistical type messages or purely personal messages. We expect a more stringent policy in the coming months that will ban all messaging all together. We also assume that we’ll be required to share all messages for the last few months and those prior messages will be stored so the firm can demonstrate compliance back to a certain date.
So my questions immediately lead to the intersection of constitutional law (1st amendment), at will employment and a SEC that acts more like an organized extortion gang than a federal regulator. And by asking for messages prior to the implementation of a policy, the intersection of the 4th amendment and at will employment. I understand that companies are not bound by the constitution per se, but if a person refused to produce prior messages and was fired, how would a court weigh basic rights vs the need for reasonable regulation. How can a corporation tell its employees that they can’t message each other after hours or on weekends about things that are not work related?
One example that I’ll share that has been difficult to watch. Two colleagues were friends for years before their employment at the firm. They are close. Currently their messages are limited to logistical or purely personal topics and even those sit in a discouraged gray area. They are both very diligent company men, so they avoid the grey area and don’t message much anymore. Under the new expected policy they will not be allowed to message each other at all outside of company monitored systems. I have a hard time understanding how at will employment can reach into their personal lives in such an intrusive way.
Thanks for reading this far and I’m excited to hear any thoughts.

submitted by Optimal-Associate-77 to EmploymentLaw [link] [comments]

2024.05.22 22:31 HeyMay1996 When do I get an answer?

Back round. Love LS been a fan for 6 years! Ordered 5/8/24 Delivery date today. Nothing is back ordered. Lead time is 1-2 weeks.
No tracking. No nothing. Was supposed to be here today. I called last week on Friday- I was told it was all in stock and good to go, I would have tracking end of day last Friday. They said it was coming from SC warehouse. (Called with a question in the order.)
Monday morning didn’t have product or tracking called again. They said it was really odd bc they can see tracking info pending. So they opened a ticket and said we will hear back in 24 hours from warehouse call Tuesday at 3 for the update. And it was coming from Illinois warehouse now?
I call Tuesday. They said there was no info added and it was just really odd- it’s never happened before and now it’s not going to be there on time. Told me to give it a day. And it was coming from Pennsylvania warehouse. And call Wednesday. 🙄 they expedite the order. Wednesday today. I call 10am est. -no update. And told me to Call again at lunch. I get a voice mail 10:30 saying warehouse responded that they have been waiting on pieces (even though I was told this wasn’t the case on Monday?) and it will ship and I’ll have tracking by lunch time. If I didn’t to call them. And it’s coming from Illinois warehouse?
I call at 4:10. Tell them verbally what the voice mail said word for word. And asked why I didn’t have tracking and I was told we’d have it by noon est today? She said “yeah I’m not showing any tracking but I can see it should ship today but the work day is over so I’ll ship tomorrow…. There’s just not much we can do. This is coming from Fort Worth Texas” This is the 4th warehouse change and the 5th time I’m told “just wait until tomorrow.”
I’ve asked to cancel this order so I just just replace the order and maybe help it not fall through the cracks…… and I’m told “it’s really to far in the process to cancel your order I’m so sorry I no your past delivery date but just wait until tomorrow.”
How many “wait until tomorrows” do I get? I asked to speak to a manager and they were alright in helping me…. But then nothing holds to the “it will ship today” I’ve been told that since delivery date of 5/17 was told to me and now….. we still have zero date and yet again more empty promises of delivery and tracking being posted today and nothing of the sorts have been posted and the customer service sees no tracking or anything other than a note saying “tracking will post today” each day since 5/17. And each rep says “they don’t no what their talking about” when I quote what the last rep says?
What do I do?

submitted by HeyMay1996 to Lovesac [link] [comments]

2024.05.22 18:22 Maleficent-Soup23 Name Change in Kansas

My legal name change was finalized today!!!!
It was honestly very easy.
I had to take the civil cover sheet and petition for name change to the county district court clerk office (which is different from the county clerk's office). I also took my order changing name with me to be safe. They looked over my forms and filed them and I paid a filing fee, which was about $200. They scheduled a court date with me and told me to give notice via certified mail to my bank and creditors. The certified mail cost me $48, but that is different based on how many institutions you need to send mail to. I had to notify five different places. I then waited for my court date and showed up early to be safe. I brought my filled out order changing name and the receipts from the certified mail. A secretary or someone came to that wait area and looked everything over, then took the order changing name to the judge. Five minutes later she came back and it was signed. I then went back to the clerk office to get my certified copies. They provided me with three, but I got two extra for a total of five. The cost of the extra copies was $1 for the first page and 25 cents for every additional page.
All in all the court proceedings cost me $250.
I'm changing my social security card (free), passport ($160 for both the book and card), birth certificate ($40 to amend and receive a copy through Colorado), marriage certificate (about $15 to amend and receive a copy through Illinois), and of course my name on all my accounts and with my workplace, which will all be free aside from the cost of postage. The rough total here is $220.
This brings the total personal cost of changing my name to $470.
Of course, I can't guarantee every person in kansas or the US will have the same experience, but I figured it would be helpful to provide and outline and an idea of what to expect to pay.
Also, I'm getting the passport book and card so that I can use the card as my ID if I can't change my gender marker on my license, which is currently not allowed in Kansas.

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2024.05.22 18:21 Maleficent-Soup23 Name Change in Kansas

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2024.05.22 17:40 tyfys321 Sff build request

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**
I will be using this pc at home and work. Have been looking at aero itx 4060 builds. Looking for an sff build that is small and portable. Looking to use this pc to run games like COD, forza, gta, fortnite, farm sim etc Looking to also use this pc to emulate with launchbox- n64, snes, occasional ps2 games, arcade games etc. Also will need to be able to use Microsoft office and moderate online use. Wifi is a must. This pc will most likely be plugged into a tv or a cheaper monitor so will need hdmi. 1080p is fine.

What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?

Budget will be 1000 usd

When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.

I'm looking to start building this pc asap. Looking to move forward on getting parts in the coming week.

What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)

Will need a sff case, and all components to build a pc. I won't include the os as part of the budget.

Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?

I will be purchasing in illinois. I do not have acess to a Microcenter. Everything will be purchased online and shipped.

If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.

I will be reusing a cheap gaming mouse and a anne pro 2 keyboard as well as a cheap xbox controller.

Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?

No overclocking

Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)

Would possibly like to have the ability to add a 3" drive for extra storage (wd black). With os ran on ssd

Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?

Looking for itx build. Preferably no glass on case for portability. Also, I do not need all the led lights. Stealth build is fine. I also am not worried about noise level.

**Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference

Will more than likely run ghost spectre windows 11 but am undecided.

Extra info or particulars:

Smaller would be better. Obviously understand that with small size comes performance sacrifices.

submitted by tyfys321 to buildapcforme [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 23:31 madfiie United Medigap Illinois Increase

Hi! I am relaying a message from my mother who is an independent broker in Illinois. (She is having issues with broker support) Please let me know if you have any information regarding this question.
My United Illinois clients are getting two rate increases for Medigap Plan G back-to-back and most are not 69, so it is not based on losing the enrollment discount. I have been told by multiple agents from broker support that they are locked in for 12 months, and on their 12-month anniversary they get the increase from the previous year.. and then they are skipped over in June.
Today I was told that they get the 2023 increase on their 12-month anniversary date and the 2024 increase on the June 1st date.
For example, my client signed up at 65 3/1/2023 and he received his increase 3/1/2024 and now he is receiving the 2024 increase 6/1? Two increases back to back.
I have another client who signed up at 68 2/1/2023 and received an increase 2/1/2024. She is getting another increase 6/1 and she will lose 3% of her enrollment discount this year, so that will be a third increase in one year. When does that happen?
Can anyone please confirm when these increases take place?

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2024.05.21 23:16 CaptionAction3 Movie Theaters in the United States offering Open Captions (On-Screen Subtitles) regularly

submitted by CaptionAction3 to opencaptions [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 17:31 Exact-Palpitation799 Will my car get taken away since I filed chapter 7

So I recently filed for chapter 7 bankruptcy in the state of Illinois. I have a car that is very near and dear to me. I still owe around 31k on the car loan but the car value itself is probably at 21k … is there a possibility of that getting taken away from me in the midst of me filing?
I’m up to date on all my monthly payments and haven’t missed a single payment, and don’t intend on doing so.
My attorney has reassured me several times that the bank is not interested in taking my car from as it has already lost a lot of its value and I still a lot more on the car. However I’d still like to get the opinion of y’all in here.

submitted by Exact-Palpitation799 to Bankruptcy [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 16:51 Weathers_Writing I think God might be real, just not in the way you think (Part 2)

First of all, I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and support from the last post. A lot has happened since then, and a bunch of context is needed, so I hope you'll bear with me as I explain the details.
***
Back during the peak of the blinking crisis, I remember having a lot of difficulty sleeping. It was common for me to average only four or five hours a night, and the little sleep I did get was marred by terrible nightmares. One in particular recurred many times.
I was only eight, but somehow I was in the driver's seat of our family's old SUV. My arms were long enough to steady the wheel, but my legs didn't quite meet the pedals. It didn't matter though, since the car seemed content to continue on at a constant pace. I looked over and saw my mom in the passenger seat. Her face was a blurry likeness pieced together from the dozen or so picture's I'd seen of her over the years. I tried to bring her into focus, not only because I missed her dearly, but because she was speaking—pleading, even. She waved frantically at me, then brought her leg up and slammed it down on the floor mat several times. I didn't understand what had her so upset until she pointed out the front windshield, and I saw we were hurdling directly toward a giant tree that had fallen in the middle of the road.
Panicking, I stomped for the brake, but my seatbelt protested and pulled me back like an invigorated dog on a short leash. I sat up and tried clicking it off, but it wouldn't budge. My breaths became hollow cries, and I felt my heart beat against the bars of its bony prison. I grabbed the steering wheel and pulled it to the left, then right, attempting to swerve off the road, but it was as if whatever kind of glue was locking up the seatbelt was also fixing the steering wheel in place.
"Mom! what do I do!?" I yelled, tears streaming from my eyes. She was yelling back at me, but it was as if there was a divider between us, and neither of us could hear each other. I turned back just in time to see the giant Oak tree meet the front bumper, and then I jolted awake with a piercing pain in my chest that radiated up through my throat in the form of a giant scream. My little legs kicked under the covers and tears rained down on my pillow until my dad ran in and knelt at my bed.
"Lauren, are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?"
I grabbed my pillow and hugged it so my face was covered, then effused a "Mmm-hmm" in a long wheeze while rocking to either side.
"Oh, honey," he soothed and brushed my hair, then the tears from my face when I would allow it.
Time would pass in silence, and when I began to get the sense that my dad was ready to leave, I'd chirp out, "stay" in that way children do when they're embarrassed about wanting something.
"Always," my dad would reply; then he'd post up on the floor with my large tomato plushie as a pillow.
One night in particular, it was deep in the night, and I had woken to a tapping sound outside my window. I was so afraid that a monster had snuck into my room while I wasn't looking that I made him lay next to me and face outward. I'd peek my eyes open every minute or so to check and make sure my dad was there, staking out the room. Eventually, he rolled in close and said something that I still remember to this day.
"Hey, baby, guess what." he whispered.
"Mmm" I mumbled.
"I think you scared the monster away."
I tried to picture this through the fog of my fatigue. Something seemed off about the statement, like it wasn't logically possible, but before I could piece together the words to express that, my dad cut back in.
"It was scared because it realized you're a superhero. And you know what your greatest superpower is?"
I shook my head, making sure to rub my forehead against his shoulder so he could sense it in the dark room.
"You're greatest power is that you get to tell the monsters what to do. Because the monsters are only as strong as the stories you tell about them. And there's all kinds of stories. Happy ones. Sad ones. Scary ones. Tell me, this monster you think snuck in, would you say he's part of a scary story?"
"I don't know," I said, confused. "Maybe"
"Hmm," he hummed, contemplating. "Well, I want you to remember this. You have the ability to tell any kind of story you want. Maybe there are monsters, but that means there's heroes and angels, too, right?"
I was beginning to doze off to the comforting sound of my dad's deep voice, but I gave another affirmative "Mm-hmm".
"So, if you're ever scared, honey, just dream up a better story. A story that will bring you peace. Do you understand?"
But I was already out.
***
I woke up the next morning to the feeling that someone was in the hotel room with me. The drapes were drawn and the only sound was the AC unit blowing cold air, but when I looked toward the dark corner of the empty coat rack, my mind conjured the face of my dad, smiling at me, chanting that same, awful line—Oh, Lauren… you know who we are.
I was no longer a child, but it took a couple minutes of cold focus before I muscled the courage to ascend from the safety of my covers and flick on the lamp light. The small amber radius extended to where my dad's feet would have been if he was standing there. But there was no one. I let out a sigh and collapsed back onto the mattress, thinking back on all those years growing up. The same man who had helped me conquer my fear of the dark was now the monster hiding in its shadow.
I looked over my shoulder and saw the clock read 10:15. My meeting with Trent was in three hours. I moaned and stretched my arms back until they knocked against the headboard, then I collapsed back onto the mattress, meditating, gathering energy like a compressed spring. All at once, I jumped up and glided over to the drapes, opening them in a single, fluid motion. I grimaced at the sunlight, but the warmth felt good against my face. I stopped by the nightstand and gulped down the final few swigs of a bottle of Mello Yello that I had purchased from a vending machine the previous night, then undressed and hopped in the shower.
The warm water wasn't enough to wash away the previous night's memories. When I closed my eyes to lather my hair, I was back in my living room, standing opposite the demon that had taken on my dad's form. His smile. His laugh. It was like someone in my head was flipping a switch between the man I loved growing up and a terrible monster. But the fear was more powerful. I heard something drop onto the tile floor on the other side of the curtain. The noise made me gasp, and I opened my eyes while shampoo was still streaming down my face. I swiped the shampoo out of my now burning eyes and squinted at the curtain, trying to see through it, but I couldn't make anything out. "I-is anyone," I started, trembling, afraid to finish the sentence. I reached out and pinched the end of the curtain. My heart was in overdrive. I swallowed, then pulled it toward me and peeked out. I scanned the room, but I couldn't see anything out of place.
It wasn't until after I finished showering and wound myself up in one of the hotel's too-small towels that I saw what had made the noise. I bent down and picked up the stub of a razor blade that had fallen onto the tile right next to the puffy, gray shower rug. It wasn't mine, and I was pretty sure hotels didn't keep unguarded razor blades just laying around. When I held it up, it occurred to me that if it had simply fallen a few inches to the left, it would have been buried in the rug, and perhaps I would have stepped on it. I stared at myself in its steely reflection. Cold. Lonely. Small. What if I—was all I was able to think before the blade blinked out of my hand.
I threw on some clothes, packed up the few belongings I had into my purse, then checked out of my room. I didn't feel safe going back home after what happened, but I also didn't want to go anywhere else. I got in my car and drove aimlessly up and down the town's streets, focusing only on the car ahead of me. Anytime I started to travel down an avenue of thought, I'd make a turn, or speed up, or hit the brakes: anything to keep my mind distracted. It was sweltering outside, but I'd turn the heat on for minutes at a time until I felt drenched, then toggle max AC until I was cool, then back to heat. I repeated the basic driving tenet "10 and 2", "10 and 2", "10 and 2" like a mantra—a chant to focus my attention on a single point, and then I pictured that point disappearing. I began to think that maybe I wanted to disappear.
I fully intended to keep going that way until 1:00, but after about thirty minutes, my meandering route had led me to St. Mark's Catholic Church, where a large group of people were gathered around a long line of tables in front of the building. I slowed down. At the front of the venue was a large, white cardboard sign which read, "Plant a Seed, Share the Joy". I wasn't sure what that meant, but my boredom had come to a head, and I rationalized that if there's any place on God's green earth that would be safe, it was this one. I parked along the closest side-street, then walked over to the church.
Rows of white tables were covered with cardboard boxes filled with small plants that were wrapped up in individual paper pots. I watched from a distance as people behind the tables carefully removed the plants, one by one, and offered them to passersby. I continued down the line, a sheep in the herd, and allowed myself to sink into childhood memories. I had somehow made it out the other end near the Narthex when I heard a woman's voice call to me.
"Hey, deary, have you gotten one yet?"
I turned and saw a small, gray-haired lady with rose-colored glasses. "Oh, no," I started, attempting to decline, then paused. The old lady grabbed one of the plants and held it out for me.
"Here," she said. "Come on, I won't bite."
As far as you know, I thought, and stumbled forward with a sigh. "Thanks," I said and took the plant. "What is this all for, anyway?"
"It's a giveaway," the old woman responded. "Staff have been growing these plants—tomatoes and garlic, mainly—so they could offer them to members of the Parish. The idea is to have the members grow the produce, then donate it to St. Mark's Food Pantry to give to those in need."
"Oh, that's actually pretty cool." I replied and inspected my plant which was at present nothing more than a small green stem. "So which kind is this one?"
"That one is—" the old lady stopped and inspected the other plants near where she had grabbed mine—"tomato."
"Tomato," I repeated. "Well, thanks again."
"Of course, dear." the old lady beamed. "We're all responsible for each other."
I nodded, then continued back through the crowd toward my car when, through the large vestibule windows, I saw a Priest speaking to a young couple. It had been a little over a decade since I had attended a service (I stopped going during High School when I started studying other religions), and I didn't recognize this Priest. He was short (just over five feet tall), bald, and African American. He wore the customary black robe and white collar, and there was something in his smile and the way seemed to be affirming the couple that made me yearn to speak with him. I considered for a moment, a bit embarrassed to be stepping back into church after all this time, but the thought of being able to burn ten minutes talking with someone who might have some insight into my situation was too tempting to pass up.
I waited near a portrait of Mary Magdalene, my tomato plant in hand, staring off at the pristine series of stained glass images portraying the death and resurrection of Jesus. About a minute in, the Priest met my eyes; he smiled, his way of telling me he knew I was waiting, then finished up with the couple and made his way over. He had a bit of an accent when he spoke—it was Ugandan, from best I could tell—and a proclivity for laughing at the end of his sentences.
"Hello, Miss, I don't believe I've had the privilege," he said and held out his hand. He leaned in as he spoke, and his smile tugged on the corners of his eyes which were already marked with use.
I shook his hand and returned what I'm sure was a weak smile. "No, I don't think so. My name's Lauren. I used to come here when I was little. It's—been a while."
"Well, I see you picked a good day to visit. If you're into gardening, that is." He remarked with a laugh and gestured toward the plant. "It's nice to meet you, Lauren. My name's Martin—Father Martin, if you prefer."
"Father Martin," I repeated, "I have a friend named Martin. It's a good name."
He laughed and said, "Thank you, I'll pass that one along to my mother. She loves the praise."
I laughed back. He carried himself in such a carefree way that I was put immediately at ease. Almost to the point where I forgot what I wanted to talk to him about. "Um," I started, attempting to word my question in a way that didn't sound like I needed psychiatric help. "I have a couple of religious questions for you, if you have time."
"That's what I'm for. Ask away."
"They're about… miracles. Like the ones in the Bible. I was wondering, do you think that miracles still happen today?"
"Miracles, huh," he started. "You mean like water into wine?"
"Kind of, yeah,"
"Hmm…" he contemplated. "Well, I haven't seen them, myself. You know, I may be a Priest, but I also have a degree in Physics. I think God made the world according to laws, right? But I do think God has the power to intervene. Yes. I just have never seen it… like … you know, the biblical type of miracles. To me, there are miracles happening all around us—miracles we can't see."
"Exactly," I responded, thinking about how no one else could see the blinks, "those kinds of miracles. What are those miracles we can't see?"
One of Father Martin's eyebrows raised and he rubbed his chin. "Well, I think the greatest miracle is the miracle of God's love which was perfected in Christ and offered to each of us. It's his power to heal even the most troubled mind. By coming into alignment with God's will for us, we can see the true purpose of this existence."
No, he's not getting it, I thought. I scrambled to my other entry-point. "What about the story of Job? God made a bet with the Devil that Job would stay faithful to him no matter what the Devil did to him. Do you think that kind of situation is possible?"
Father Martin's expression drooped into a concerned frown. "There's quite the difference between miracles and the story of Job. I suppose I see what you're getting at, though. Job's suffering is in some ways the antithesis to positive miracles. In this life, we are tested, sometimes to the point of losing everything, but even that person who has more reason to hate God than anyone else can once again find peace and eternal happiness through faith. In fact, it's often the person who is lowest in the pit of suffering that needs the Light of Christ more than anyone else."
I thought back on the first night that I prayed. It was in my moment of greatest helplessness that I reached out to God, and I thought I had found my answer in Him. But now, after what happened last night, after all these years of chaos—not merely losing things that were important to me, but my very sanity—I needed more than just blind faith. I couldn't just sit idly by and hope things would get better. I smiled at the Priest and said, "Thank you, Father, this has been very insightful."
"Of course, sister. I'm sorry if I couldn't have been of more help."
"No, I think I understand now. I've been… wrestling with something, and I think God wants me to confront it. I think I've been running away and hiding from it for so long that I'd convinced myself it disappeared."
Father Martin nodded in understanding. "Well, in that case, will you let me leave you with a prayer?"
I was a bit taken off guard by the request, but I accepted. "Sure, Father."
I watched as he made the sign of the cross, then he lifted his hands and closed his eyes. "Dear God, I am so happy to have had the privilege of meeting with Lauren today, especially on a day such as this where we are offering gifts for those who need them. You have heard her desire to confront the things that are troubling her. I ask that you bless her with strength and peace and a clear conscience, that she may overcome these challenges. God, bless us with your spirit, that we may see your hand in our lives. Amen."
"Amen," I said.
As I was leaving, Father Martin called out to me and said, "Oh, just so you know, this Friday at 7 we are having a barbecue at the Parish Center. I would love to see you there, if you're able and wanting."
Turning back, I smiled and said, "Oh, ok, thanks Father. I'll think about it."
The priest nodded, and with a smile, he sent me off.
***
I walked into the Deli at 1:00 on the dot. The customers who had arrived for the lunch rush were already cleaning up their trash and heading out. I dodged past a few of them on my way down the long, narrow path leading to the front counter. While I waited behind a couple of elderly folk who were picking which soup they wanted to pair with their Ultimate Grilled Cheese, I looked around for Trent. He hadn't sent me a picture or any way of contacting him throughout the day, so I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I figured I'd see some man half-hidden behind a newspaper, scouting me out. Maybe I watch too many movies, I thought.
"Ahem, ma'am. You're up." croaked the teenager behind the register.
"Oh, right, sorry" I replied and stepped up to the counter. "Uhh," I muttered, scanning the menu for something that looked edible. "Could I just get…" I made sure to mouth every syllable as they were words of their own.
"We have a deal—the try two combo. Sandwich and a soup for $9.99." the cashier repeated for what was probably the fiftieth time that day.
"Yes, that sounds good. I'll do the Italian sandwich and potato soup. And a drink, please."
After I paid for the food, I wandered around the tables, hoping to find someone who looked like a Trent. I was picturing a short guy, runner's build, with long brown hair, tucked somewhere neatly away in the corner. So I was not prepared when the Hulk's stunt double growled my name from a table smack dab in the middle of the restaurant. He had a pale, square face that was spotted with freckles and a sinking property that comes with the lethal combination of stress and age. His hair was relatively short. Probably it was brown or auburn, but since it was slicked back, it looked almost black. And he wore what looked like janitor coveralls. There was even a cloth tag pinned to his chest which read, "Trent".
"Lauren?" He repeated.
"Yes, that's me." I said and took a seat across from him. I saw a brown tray on the table in front of him, and on the tray was a large, white soup bowl. It was empty and beginning to crust along the edges. He must have been here for some time already. "I didn't know where you'd be, so I was worried we might miss each other. I'm glad you found me though." I said while looking over Trent more thoroughly. His large hands were stretched out in front of him on the table. He wasn't wearing a ring, so he probably wasn't married. And his face, it was stern. He seemed like a no-bullshit kind of guy. Then I saw his eyes. They were sapphire blue—probably the most stunning I'd ever seen.
"We only spoke on the internet, so I hope you don't mind, but I usually run a preliminary test on anyone I meet who claims to have abilities such as yours." Trent said while reaching into his pocket and removing a device that had the size and shape of an electric razor. "All you have to do is look into it. It takes maybe five seconds. Ten at most."
"Oh, um, sure," I said reluctantly. "Do I just—" I asked while reaching for the device.
Trent clicked a button and released the cylindrical head which opened, revealing a glass circle about the size of an iris. "I'll hold it, just look into the center. A red cross should appear, then it'll take the picture."
"Okay…" I replied and did as he instructed, leaning my head forward to look into the device. Sure enough, a red cross appeared. "Is it…" was all I got out before the light turned blue and I saw a gray fog disperse and billow throughout the inside of the tube, extending for what I perceived to be miles. My jaw went slack and I couldn't breathe for maybe five seconds. Then Trent reshuttered the device and turned it over.
"Damn, 72." He said with a hint of shock. "That's the highest I've scanned to date." He looked back at me, more relaxed now, and muttered to himself. "How have you been able to function for this long? At this level, you should basically be half in, half out."
I rubbed my forehead, feeling a mixture of pain and frustration and fatigue and impatience which all poured out at once. "Listen, Trent," I said as sternly as I could, "I came here because you said you knew what was wrong with me and that you could help me. I get you have to make sure I am who I said I am, but now it's your turn to pay up. How do I know you know anything about my condition? You said my mom might still be alive. What does that even mean? I saw her die right in front of me. I want answers."
I waited for Trent to respond, but he only lifted his head. I turned around and saw a girl holding a tray of food.
"Um, hi, sorry to interrupt. I have an order 36 for Lauren."
"Oh, yes, thank you." I said. The worker placed the tray down on the table in front of me, and when I saw the food, I suddenly realized how hungry I was. Trent must have also realized this, because he folded his arms and said, "go ahead and eat. I'll explain while you do."
I wanted to protest, but my salivating mouth made other plans. "Fine," I said. I grabbed the metal spoon off the tray and started on the soup, bracing against the steaming heat of the potato chunks.
As I ate, Trent moved all of the items on his tray off to the side, then he flipped the tray over so it was raised slightly off the table. He took his cup and placed it face down in the center, then he rolled up a few of his used, blue mayonnaise packets and charted a track across the tray.
"What are you doing?" I croaked out between bites.
Trent ignored me and continued by ripping up a napkin into strips and placing them alongside the mayonnaise packets. Finally, he snapped ten toothpicks in half and stuck them in the tomb of a dozen overlayed napkins. "It's your diorama," he said at last.
"It's my what?"
"From the story you sent me. Your diorama. When I read about it, it gave me a good idea of how to explain the 'blinking'."
I pointed at the cup in the center. "Is that supposed to be a pyramid? Because I'm pretty sure you're in the wrong geometric neighborhood with that one."
"It's an analogy," he said.
"Of an analogy," I quipped back.
"Look," he picked out one of the toothpicks and held it out in front of me. "This could be a person, an animal, a crowbar—whatever you want. The point is, this diorama is a stand in for our universe. This is everything that exists, that we can see. Okay?"
"Okay,"
"Now, me," Trent placed a hand over his heart. "I'm not in the diorama. I don't exist in the universe."
"In the universe where a cup is a pyramid, or the actual universe?" I said, unable to control myself.
Trent grimaced.
"Sorry, keep going. I get it."
"Things pop into," Trent threw the toothpick back onto the tray, "or out of," he picked the toothpick back up, "our universe at will, based on forces," he patted his chest again, "that exist in other realms" he gestured to the room, "that are connected to our universe," he tapped two fingers against the tray. "These things could be objects, like, say, a toothpick, or entities, like the one you encountered yesterday. The blinking experience that you described aligns with the typical experience of a moderate Antenna. That's what I call people like us—Antennas; because we can pick up on signals others can't."
"We—you mean you see the blinking, too?"
"Yes, but not to the same extent as you. If all the blinks are gathered in a giant picture that you can see, I'm traversing the image through binoculars, maybe even a microscope, depending on where we are."
I thought about this. I guess it was possible there were other people like me out there, but since I had never met anyone, I didn't really consider the idea until now. And then for him to say my ability was somehow much stronger than his… "But," I started, "I haven't even seen that many blinks since I was a child. It's just more focused and malicious now."
"Yeah," Trent scratched his head, "that's the thing that got me really interested in you. Somehow you seem to be able to control it without gear, just by praying. And, look, that's all well and good, but I don't want to give you the false impression that I'm some kind of religious leader. I like to look for logical, scientific explanations for things. So that's the frame I'm coming at this from."
I took a sip from my drink. "That's fine," I said, "the truth is that's why I reached out to you in the first place. I wanted an explanation I could understand. An explanation that was directly related to what I'm going through."
"Then we should get along just fine."
I was scooping out the last potato that was stubbornly gliding along the bottom of the bowl when, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the old man from the line shooting up from his bench and standing in army-erect form. I felt a tingling sensation tickle the back of my neck. I didn't want to turn toward him. I knew what I'd see if I did. "Trent," I whispered, trying to tip him off.
"Huh?" he grunted. Then when he saw my expression, he snuck his right hand under the table and said, "Do you see it? Is it here?"
I cocked my head to the left, signaling toward the old man that was now facing us, but Trent didn't seem to notice him: his eyes just kept scanning the entire front of the restaurant. Then I saw the old man take a step in our direction.
"Lauuurennnn, oh Lauuuurennnn, I've been looking for you, Laurenn." The old man said in a low, gravelly voice that gave the impression he was gurgling liquid tar. I turned and saw his face. It was cold and expressionless, and a butter knife was poking out of his left fist. When I met his eyes, he smiled that horrible smile."You're a slippery bitch, you know that?" He spat. "Why can't you just stay put? Don't you get tired of running from your old friend? Or have you forgotten about me?"
"Trent," I mumbled out. "Right there."
"And this guy. You think he can help you? He's only here to help himself. If that's not clear, you really are a lost little lamb."
"Quick, give me your hand," Trent instructed.
I was silent, my eyes still pinned to the old man.
"Tsk-tsk-tsk," the demon possessed senior wagged his finger at me, taking a step, then another step, shortening the distance as much as he could while I was entranced. Then, suddenly, he sprinted forward at a speed that shouldn't have been possible for a man his age.
"Trent!" I screamed.
"Lauren, give me your hand!"
I spun around and grabbed Tren'ts outstretched arm just as the old man lifted the butter knife over his head like a pickaxe. Then I saw Trent pull out what looked like a toy gun from under the table and point it at the demon.
"Got you," Trent remarked. I braced for a gunshot, but there was no noise. After a couple seconds, I looked back and saw the old man sitting in the booth opposite his wife, his hand tremoring as he reached for his large drink.
"What did you?" I asked, but Trent was already pulling me out of my seat. "Come on, we have to go," he said, "the effect is temporary, he'll be—"
Before he could get out the last word, I saw the cup-pyramid on Trent's tray blink out of existence. The sound of a plate shattering rang out from a table up ahead. The lone woman standing there slowly turned around, smiling, with a fork in one hand and a piece of the broken plate in the other. Trent shot her with the toy gun as we ran past and then barreled through the front door.
"Where—are we going?" I asked between gasps.
"My van. It's loaded with kit."
"And then where?"
"Your house" replied Trent who stashed his gun back in his pocket and took out a key fob.
"My house? But that's where he—it appeared."
"Yeah, and that's where you banished it."
Trent waved me into the passenger seat of his RAM 3500 Promaster. I noticed right away the dash which looked more like it belonged in a new limited-edition EV than a cargo van. The ignition kicked on automatically, and I heard the beep of a sonar ping precede an English woman's voice calling out like some auxed-in GPS saying, "scanning for anomalies". Trent shifted the van into gear, and I heard the wheels sputter as we accelerated backward and whipped out of the small parking lot.
"What's your address?" Trent asked. I gave it to him, and then speaking to his dash, he said, "Car, take us to ****."
"Redirecting to ****," replied the British woman. "Currently detecting 31 novel emergences. Updating pings every 300 milliseconds. Chance of contact: 0.23%"
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"The van has sensor equipment which can detect blinks. It's much more accurate than either of us."
"And it sees 31?"
"Yes, that's not as many as it sounds." Trent said and tore past a car that blinked out of existence right as we turned onto the main street.
We drove on for another couple minutes, the Englishwoman updating the number of novel emergences every ten seconds or so. Her constant babbling eventually became a comforting background noise, and I was able to think again.
"In the message you sent me, you said my mom may still be alive." I looked at Trent to see if he would react to me bringing her up, but he remained stolid. "What did you mean by that?"
Trent thumbed his steering wheel. "I shouldn't have sent that." He said at last.
"Shouldn't have… What do you mean? You can't just say that now."
Trent took one hand off the wheel and turned toward me. "Look, we're going back to your house because we need to determine your origin point. All Antennas have them. It's a place of high energy where many realms intersect, kind of like a station, and it's the place where you first acquired your abilities. Based on everything you wrote, I'm guessing that place is where the forest where the accident happened when you were a young child. But I need to confirm it. Once I confirm that that's the place…" Trent hesitated.
"Then… what? You want us to go back there? To the place where my mom died, or at least where I think she died until you told me she might be alive but are now taking it back? That place?"
"It's the only way to—"
"Now detecting novel agent," the Englishwoman interrupted. We both perked up as she gave another update. "Net anomalies: 437. Novel Agents: 1. Chance of contact: 78%."
"Shit," Trent muttered. "Car, course correct."
"Attempting course correct to avoid collision. Attempts made: 10, 50, 75, 79… No alternate route detected. Chance of contact: 96%."
"Time until contact?"
"Time until contact: 13 seconds."
I shuddered. Looking out the front windshield, I saw cars pop out of existence left and right, opening up a clear path to the four way intersection ahead. In a blink, the streetlights all turned green, and then they vanished completely. It was as if the entire world was being stripped down bare, and all that remained was the road, boxed in by the rows of buildings along either side. In the distance I could see a large tanker barreling toward us.
"Trent,"
"I know," he replied and clicked a different button on the console which opened a new toggle for the shifter labeled "TD". He pushed the stick forward, engaging the new mode, then pressed the accelerator all the way to the ground. "You're going to want to hold on."
"What are you doing!?" I yelled, grabbing onto my seatbelt.
"No time to explain. Car, release phase lock."
"Phase lock released."
I watched in horror as the color drained from the road and buildings and sky, transforming it all into a dim tunnel, with only the headlights of the oncoming semi-truck visible up ahead. I had the sudden thought that this was all a dream, just like the ones from my childhood. I looked over and no longer saw Trent, but my mother. And then I realized this wasn't a dream. This was hell. I was being forced to relive the worst moment of my life, over and over again. Just when I thought I had escaped, I was pulled right back into that car, helpless as we approached but never arrived at our impending fate. I closed my eyes right as the lights engulfed the windshield and braced for the usual pain in my chest, for the feeling of breaking.
But it didn't come.
"Shift" was the last word out of Trent's mouth, and then I was infused with the sensation of being at the pinnacle of a roller coaster. I was suspended there for what felt like hours, but somehow I knew that not even a second had passed. Everything inside the van: the dashboard, windows, ceiling, doors, even Trent himself began to radiate enigmatic particles. They were a mass of constant motion, like raindrops falling through the air but never landing. I looked down at my hand, but it was gone. Diffused into an unknowable number of untraceable particles. The world outside, once devoid of color, was now nothing but color. When I tried to focus on a particular spot in the infinite geometric folds of whatever realm we were traversing through, I could sometimes detect a trace of our world.
The old lady from the church. She appeared as if through a window, standing behind a table, holding out a plant. Only this image was so much brighter. And the plant she was holding was pure gold. Then I'd catch a glimpse of the razor blade. It was large, many hundreds of times larger than the van, and surrounded by darkness. These ghostly images appeared like holograms or reflections that caught the light at just the right angle, then dissipated.
I stayed there, looping between the archetypes of my life for a long, long time.
***
I knew we were returning when I felt the first sense of motion. Breath filled my lungs for the first time in what felt like a day. I blinked. And then we were back in town, driving down the same road with the blue sky above. People were jogging on the sidewalk past the little street shops. The streetlights were active. I checked the side mirror and saw the tanker had just passed by.
I looked over at Trent, who met my eyes. We shared a look of knowing, and unknowing. For some reason, that was enough, and we continued on in silence.
***
We agreed to stay the night at my house.
Trent had parked a couple blocks away in front of a couple vacant houses so as not to arouse suspicion from the neighbors. Then he lugged a large duffel bag with his equipment in and set it up in the living room. He scanned the scrapbook which contained the newspaper clippings from the accident several times and confirmed that was likely my 'origin point'. I simply nodded and then went back out onto the back porch. I sat there for hours, basking in the sun. Something had changed in the past day, but I couldn't pick out what it was. Too much had happened. I had too little time to process any of it.
When the sun set, I went inside and Trent told me about his plans for the next couple days. He said he needed to run a few errands in the morning, then meet up with a couple of his associates. After that, we could begin our drive to Southern Illinois. He said it was likely that the entity that was chasing me had first tied itself to me during my childhood accident. For whatever reason, we came into contact, and now it didn't want to leave. Trent would help me get rid of it. He didn't go into many details regarding how that was to happen, but I don't think in my tired state I would have been able to understand much anyway. He had a plan, and that was enough for me. At least for a while.
After our meeting, I made sure Trent had enough pillows and blankets like a proper host, then I retired to my room. I laid down on my twin bed and stared up at the cream-colored ceiling. Then I turned and saw the participation awards for my junior soccer league stashed on my dresser. I pictured myself on the field, running with the ball, out ahead of everyone except the goalie. I took a shot, but it was blocked. Then I ran back to defend. How can such a simple game be so much fun? Was the last thought I had before drifting off to sleep.
I woke up only once during the night. It was still dark out. The room was warm despite the small, flower petal fan churning away, shifting the hot, humid air from one pocket of the room to the next. I waited in apprehension, sensing that something had disturbed me. I saw the tomato plushie peeking out at me from the slightly ajar closet door where I had stashed it so many years ago. I felt like I was missing something. Something important.
And then I heard it.
There was a tapping at my window.

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2024.05.21 16:51 Weathers_Writing I think God might be real, just not in the way you think (Part 2)

Part 1
First of all, I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and support from the last post. A lot has happened since then, and a bunch of context is needed, so I hope you'll bear with me as I explain the details.
***
Back during the peak of the blinking crisis, I remember having a lot of difficulty sleeping. It was common for me to average only four or five hours a night, and the little sleep I did get was marred by terrible nightmares. One in particular recurred many times.
I was only eight, but somehow I was in the driver's seat of our family's old SUV. My arms were long enough to steady the wheel, but my legs didn't quite meet the pedals. It didn't matter though, since the car seemed content to continue on at a constant pace. I looked over and saw my mom in the passenger seat. Her face was a blurry likeness pieced together from the dozen or so picture's I'd seen of her over the years. I tried to bring her into focus, not only because I missed her dearly, but because she was speaking—pleading, even. She waved frantically at me, then brought her leg up and slammed it down on the floor mat several times. I didn't understand what had her so upset until she pointed out the front windshield, and I saw we were hurdling directly toward a giant tree that had fallen in the middle of the road.
Panicking, I stomped for the brake, but my seatbelt protested and pulled me back like an invigorated dog on a short leash. I sat up and tried clicking it off, but it wouldn't budge. My breaths became hollow cries, and I felt my heart beat against the bars of its bony prison. I grabbed the steering wheel and pulled it to the left, then right, attempting to swerve off the road, but it was as if whatever kind of glue was locking up the seatbelt was also fixing the steering wheel in place.
"Mom! what do I do!?" I yelled, tears streaming from my eyes. She was yelling back at me, but it was as if there was a divider between us, and neither of us could hear each other. I turned back just in time to see the giant Oak tree meet the front bumper, and then I jolted awake with a piercing pain in my chest that radiated up through my throat in the form of a giant scream. My little legs kicked under the covers and tears rained down on my pillow until my dad ran in and knelt at my bed.
"Lauren, are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?"
I grabbed my pillow and hugged it so my face was covered, then effused a "Mmm-hmm" in a long wheeze while rocking to either side.
"Oh, honey," he soothed and brushed my hair, then the tears from my face when I would allow it.
Time would pass in silence, and when I began to get the sense that my dad was ready to leave, I'd chirp out, "stay" in that way children do when they're embarrassed about wanting something.
"Always," my dad would reply; then he'd post up on the floor with my large tomato plushie as a pillow.
One night in particular, it was deep in the night, and I had woken to a tapping sound outside my window. I was so afraid that a monster had snuck into my room while I wasn't looking that I made him lay next to me and face outward. I'd peek my eyes open every minute or so to check and make sure my dad was there, staking out the room. Eventually, he rolled in close and said something that I still remember to this day.
"Hey, baby, guess what." he whispered.
"Mmm" I mumbled.
"I think you scared the monster away."
I tried to picture this through the fog of my fatigue. Something seemed off about the statement, like it wasn't logically possible, but before I could piece together the words to express that, my dad cut back in.
"It was scared because it realized you're a superhero. And you know what your greatest superpower is?"
I shook my head, making sure to rub my forehead against his shoulder so he could sense it in the dark room.
"You're greatest power is that you get to tell the monsters what to do. Because the monsters are only as strong as the stories you tell about them. And there's all kinds of stories. Happy ones. Sad ones. Scary ones. Tell me, this monster you think snuck in, would you say he's part of a scary story?"
"I don't know," I said, confused. "Maybe"
"Hmm," he hummed, contemplating. "Well, I want you to remember this. You have the ability to tell any kind of story you want. Maybe there are monsters, but that means there's heroes and angels, too, right?"
I was beginning to doze off to the comforting sound of my dad's deep voice, but I gave another affirmative "Mm-hmm".
"So, if you're ever scared, honey, just dream up a better story. A story that will bring you peace. Do you understand?"
But I was already out.
***
I woke up the next morning to the feeling that someone was in the hotel room with me. The drapes were drawn and the only sound was the AC unit blowing cold air, but when I looked toward the dark corner of the empty coat rack, my mind conjured the face of my dad, smiling at me, chanting that same, awful line—Oh, Lauren… you know who we are.
I was no longer a child, but it took a couple minutes of cold focus before I muscled the courage to ascend from the safety of my covers and flick on the lamp light. The small amber radius extended to where my dad's feet would have been if he was standing there. But there was no one. I let out a sigh and collapsed back onto the mattress, thinking back on all those years growing up. The same man who had helped me conquer my fear of the dark was now the monster hiding in its shadow.
I looked over my shoulder and saw the clock read 10:15. My meeting with Trent was in three hours. I moaned and stretched my arms back until they knocked against the headboard, then I collapsed back onto the mattress, meditating, gathering energy like a compressed spring. All at once, I jumped up and glided over to the drapes, opening them in a single, fluid motion. I grimaced at the sunlight, but the warmth felt good against my face. I stopped by the nightstand and gulped down the final few swigs of a bottle of Mello Yello that I had purchased from a vending machine the previous night, then undressed and hopped in the shower.
The warm water wasn't enough to wash away the previous night's memories. When I closed my eyes to lather my hair, I was back in my living room, standing opposite the demon that had taken on my dad's form. His smile. His laugh. It was like someone in my head was flipping a switch between the man I loved growing up and a terrible monster. But the fear was more powerful. I heard something drop onto the tile floor on the other side of the curtain. The noise made me gasp, and I opened my eyes while shampoo was still streaming down my face. I swiped the shampoo out of my now burning eyes and squinted at the curtain, trying to see through it, but I couldn't make anything out. "I-is anyone," I started, trembling, afraid to finish the sentence. I reached out and pinched the end of the curtain. My heart was in overdrive. I swallowed, then pulled it toward me and peeked out. I scanned the room, but I couldn't see anything out of place.
It wasn't until after I finished showering and wound myself up in one of the hotel's too-small towels that I saw what had made the noise. I bent down and picked up the stub of a razor blade that had fallen onto the tile right next to the puffy, gray shower rug. It wasn't mine, and I was pretty sure hotels didn't keep unguarded razor blades just laying around. When I held it up, it occurred to me that if it had simply fallen a few inches to the left, it would have been buried in the rug, and perhaps I would have stepped on it. I stared at myself in its steely reflection. Cold. Lonely. Small. What if I—was all I was able to think before the blade blinked out of my hand.
I threw on some clothes, packed up the few belongings I had into my purse, then checked out of my room. I didn't feel safe going back home after what happened, but I also didn't want to go anywhere else. I got in my car and drove aimlessly up and down the town's streets, focusing only on the car ahead of me. Anytime I started to travel down an avenue of thought, I'd make a turn, or speed up, or hit the brakes: anything to keep my mind distracted. It was sweltering outside, but I'd turn the heat on for minutes at a time until I felt drenched, then toggle max AC until I was cool, then back to heat. I repeated the basic driving tenet "10 and 2", "10 and 2", "10 and 2" like a mantra—a chant to focus my attention on a single point, and then I pictured that point disappearing. I began to think that maybe I wanted to disappear.
I fully intended to keep going that way until 1:00, but after about thirty minutes, my meandering route had led me to St. Mark's Catholic Church, where a large group of people were gathered around a long line of tables in front of the building. I slowed down. At the front of the venue was a large, white cardboard sign which read, "Plant a Seed, Share the Joy". I wasn't sure what that meant, but my boredom had come to a head, and I rationalized that if there's any place on God's green earth that would be safe, it was this one. I parked along the closest side-street, then walked over to the church.
Rows of white tables were covered with cardboard boxes filled with small plants that were wrapped up in individual paper pots. I watched from a distance as people behind the tables carefully removed the plants, one by one, and offered them to passersby. I continued down the line, a sheep in the herd, and allowed myself to sink into childhood memories. I had somehow made it out the other end near the Narthex when I heard a woman's voice call to me.
"Hey, deary, have you gotten one yet?"
I turned and saw a small, gray-haired lady with rose-colored glasses. "Oh, no," I started, attempting to decline, then paused. The old lady grabbed one of the plants and held it out for me.
"Here," she said. "Come on, I won't bite."
As far as you know, I thought, and stumbled forward with a sigh. "Thanks," I said and took the plant. "What is this all for, anyway?"
"It's a giveaway," the old woman responded. "Staff have been growing these plants—tomatoes and garlic, mainly—so they could offer them to members of the Parish. The idea is to have the members grow the produce, then donate it to St. Mark's Food Pantry to give to those in need."
"Oh, that's actually pretty cool." I replied and inspected my plant which was at present nothing more than a small green stem. "So which kind is this one?"
"That one is—" the old lady stopped and inspected the other plants near where she had grabbed mine—"tomato."
"Tomato," I repeated. "Well, thanks again."
"Of course, dear." the old lady beamed. "We're all responsible for each other."
I nodded, then continued back through the crowd toward my car when, through the large vestibule windows, I saw a Priest speaking to a young couple. It had been a little over a decade since I had attended a service (I stopped going during High School when I started studying other religions), and I didn't recognize this Priest. He was short (just over five feet tall), bald, and African American. He wore the customary black robe and white collar, and there was something in his smile and the way seemed to be affirming the couple that made me yearn to speak with him. I considered for a moment, a bit embarrassed to be stepping back into church after all this time, but the thought of being able to burn ten minutes talking with someone who might have some insight into my situation was too tempting to pass up.
I waited near a portrait of Mary Magdalene, my tomato plant in hand, staring off at the pristine series of stained glass images portraying the death and resurrection of Jesus. About a minute in, the Priest met my eyes; he smiled, his way of telling me he knew I was waiting, then finished up with the couple and made his way over. He had a bit of an accent when he spoke—it was Ugandan, from best I could tell—and a proclivity for laughing at the end of his sentences.
"Hello, Miss, I don't believe I've had the privilege," he said and held out his hand. He leaned in as he spoke, and his smile tugged on the corners of his eyes which were already marked with use.
I shook his hand and returned what I'm sure was a weak smile. "No, I don't think so. My name's Lauren. I used to come here when I was little. It's—been a while."
"Well, I see you picked a good day to visit. If you're into gardening, that is." He remarked with a laugh and gestured toward the plant. "It's nice to meet you, Lauren. My name's Martin—Father Martin, if you prefer."
"Father Martin," I repeated, "I have a friend named Martin. It's a good name."
He laughed and said, "Thank you, I'll pass that one along to my mother. She loves the praise."
I laughed back. He carried himself in such a carefree way that I was put immediately at ease. Almost to the point where I forgot what I wanted to talk to him about. "Um," I started, attempting to word my question in a way that didn't sound like I needed psychiatric help. "I have a couple of religious questions for you, if you have time."
"That's what I'm for. Ask away."
"They're about… miracles. Like the ones in the Bible. I was wondering, do you think that miracles still happen today?"
"Miracles, huh," he started. "You mean like water into wine?"
"Kind of, yeah,"
"Hmm…" he contemplated. "Well, I haven't seen them, myself. You know, I may be a Priest, but I also have a degree in Physics. I think God made the world according to laws, right? But I do think God has the power to intervene. Yes. I just have never seen it… like … you know, the biblical type of miracles. To me, there are miracles happening all around us—miracles we can't see."
"Exactly," I responded, thinking about how no one else could see the blinks, "those kinds of miracles. What are those miracles we can't see?"
One of Father Martin's eyebrows raised and he rubbed his chin. "Well, I think the greatest miracle is the miracle of God's love which was perfected in Christ and offered to each of us. It's his power to heal even the most troubled mind. By coming into alignment with God's will for us, we can see the true purpose of this existence."
No, he's not getting it, I thought. I scrambled to my other entry-point. "What about the story of Job? God made a bet with the Devil that Job would stay faithful to him no matter what the Devil did to him. Do you think that kind of situation is possible?"
Father Martin's expression drooped into a concerned frown. "There's quite the difference between miracles and the story of Job. I suppose I see what you're getting at, though. Job's suffering is in some ways the antithesis to positive miracles. In this life, we are tested, sometimes to the point of losing everything, but even that person who has more reason to hate God than anyone else can once again find peace and eternal happiness through faith. In fact, it's often the person who is lowest in the pit of suffering that needs the Light of Christ more than anyone else."
I thought back on the first night that I prayed. It was in my moment of greatest helplessness that I reached out to God, and I thought I had found my answer in Him. But now, after what happened last night, after all these years of chaos—not merely losing things that were important to me, but my very sanity—I needed more than just blind faith. I couldn't just sit idly by and hope things would get better. I smiled at the Priest and said, "Thank you, Father, this has been very insightful."
"Of course, sister. I'm sorry if I couldn't have been of more help."
"No, I think I understand now. I've been… wrestling with something, and I think God wants me to confront it. I think I've been running away and hiding from it for so long that I'd convinced myself it disappeared."
Father Martin nodded in understanding. "Well, in that case, will you let me leave you with a prayer?"
I was a bit taken off guard by the request, but I accepted. "Sure, Father."
I watched as he made the sign of the cross, then he lifted his hands and closed his eyes. "Dear God, I am so happy to have had the privilege of meeting with Lauren today, especially on a day such as this where we are offering gifts for those who need them. You have heard her desire to confront the things that are troubling her. I ask that you bless her with strength and peace and a clear conscience, that she may overcome these challenges. God, bless us with your spirit, that we may see your hand in our lives. Amen."
"Amen," I said.
As I was leaving, Father Martin called out to me and said, "Oh, just so you know, this Friday at 7 we are having a barbecue at the Parish Center. I would love to see you there, if you're able and wanting."
Turning back, I smiled and said, "Oh, ok, thanks Father. I'll think about it."
The priest nodded, and with a smile, he sent me off.
***
I walked into the Deli at 1:00 on the dot. The customers who had arrived for the lunch rush were already cleaning up their trash and heading out. I dodged past a few of them on my way down the long, narrow path leading to the front counter. While I waited behind a couple of elderly folk who were picking which soup they wanted to pair with their Ultimate Grilled Cheese, I looked around for Trent. He hadn't sent me a picture or any way of contacting him throughout the day, so I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I figured I'd see some man half-hidden behind a newspaper, scouting me out. Maybe I watch too many movies, I thought.
"Ahem, ma'am. You're up." croaked the teenager behind the register.
"Oh, right, sorry" I replied and stepped up to the counter. "Uhh," I muttered, scanning the menu for something that looked edible. "Could I just get…" I made sure to mouth every syllable as they were words of their own.
"We have a deal—the try two combo. Sandwich and a soup for $9.99." the cashier repeated for what was probably the fiftieth time that day.
"Yes, that sounds good. I'll do the Italian sandwich and potato soup. And a drink, please."
After I paid for the food, I wandered around the tables, hoping to find someone who looked like a Trent. I was picturing a short guy, runner's build, with long brown hair, tucked somewhere neatly away in the corner. So I was not prepared when the Hulk's stunt double growled my name from a table smack dab in the middle of the restaurant. He had a pale, square face that was spotted with freckles and a sinking property that comes with the lethal combination of stress and age. His hair was relatively short. Probably it was brown or auburn, but since it was slicked back, it looked almost black. And he wore what looked like janitor coveralls. There was even a cloth tag pinned to his chest which read, "Trent".
"Lauren?" He repeated.
"Yes, that's me." I said and took a seat across from him. I saw a brown tray on the table in front of him, and on the tray was a large, white soup bowl. It was empty and beginning to crust along the edges. He must have been here for some time already. "I didn't know where you'd be, so I was worried we might miss each other. I'm glad you found me though." I said while looking over Trent more thoroughly. His large hands were stretched out in front of him on the table. He wasn't wearing a ring, so he probably wasn't married. And his face, it was stern. He seemed like a no-bullshit kind of guy. Then I saw his eyes. They were sapphire blue—probably the most stunning I'd ever seen.
"We only spoke on the internet, so I hope you don't mind, but I usually run a preliminary test on anyone I meet who claims to have abilities such as yours." Trent said while reaching into his pocket and removing a device that had the size and shape of an electric razor. "All you have to do is look into it. It takes maybe five seconds. Ten at most."
"Oh, um, sure," I said reluctantly. "Do I just—" I asked while reaching for the device.
Trent clicked a button and released the cylindrical head which opened, revealing a glass circle about the size of an iris. "I'll hold it, just look into the center. A red cross should appear, then it'll take the picture."
"Okay…" I replied and did as he instructed, leaning my head forward to look into the device. Sure enough, a red cross appeared. "Is it…" was all I got out before the light turned blue and I saw a gray fog disperse and billow throughout the inside of the tube, extending for what I perceived to be miles. My jaw went slack and I couldn't breathe for maybe five seconds. Then Trent reshuttered the device and turned it over.
"Damn, 72." He said with a hint of shock. "That's the highest I've scanned to date." He looked back at me, more relaxed now, and muttered to himself. "How have you been able to function for this long? At this level, you should basically be half in, half out."
I rubbed my forehead, feeling a mixture of pain and frustration and fatigue and impatience which all poured out at once. "Listen, Trent," I said as sternly as I could, "I came here because you said you knew what was wrong with me and that you could help me. I get you have to make sure I am who I said I am, but now it's your turn to pay up. How do I know you know anything about my condition? You said my mom might still be alive. What does that even mean? I saw her die right in front of me. I want answers."
I waited for Trent to respond, but he only lifted his head. I turned around and saw a girl holding a tray of food.
"Um, hi, sorry to interrupt. I have an order 36 for Lauren."
"Oh, yes, thank you." I said. The worker placed the tray down on the table in front of me, and when I saw the food, I suddenly realized how hungry I was. Trent must have also realized this, because he folded his arms and said, "go ahead and eat. I'll explain while you do."
I wanted to protest, but my salivating mouth made other plans. "Fine," I said. I grabbed the metal spoon off the tray and started on the soup, bracing against the steaming heat of the potato chunks.
As I ate, Trent moved all of the items on his tray off to the side, then he flipped the tray over so it was raised slightly off the table. He took his cup and placed it face down in the center, then he rolled up a few of his used, blue mayonnaise packets and charted a track across the tray.
"What are you doing?" I croaked out between bites.
Trent ignored me and continued by ripping up a napkin into strips and placing them alongside the mayonnaise packets. Finally, he snapped ten toothpicks in half and stuck them in the tomb of a dozen overlayed napkins. "It's your diorama," he said at last.
"It's my what?"
"From the story you sent me. Your diorama. When I read about it, it gave me a good idea of how to explain the 'blinking'."
I pointed at the cup in the center. "Is that supposed to be a pyramid? Because I'm pretty sure you're in the wrong geometric neighborhood with that one."
"It's an analogy," he said.
"Of an analogy," I quipped back.
"Look," he picked out one of the toothpicks and held it out in front of me. "This could be a person, an animal, a crowbar—whatever you want. The point is, this diorama is a stand in for our universe. This is everything that exists, that we can see. Okay?"
"Okay,"
"Now, me," Trent placed a hand over his heart. "I'm not in the diorama. I don't exist in the universe."
"In the universe where a cup is a pyramid, or the actual universe?" I said, unable to control myself.
Trent grimaced.
"Sorry, keep going. I get it."
"Things pop into," Trent threw the toothpick back onto the tray, "or out of," he picked the toothpick back up, "our universe at will, based on forces," he patted his chest again, "that exist in other realms" he gestured to the room, "that are connected to our universe," he tapped two fingers against the tray. "These things could be objects, like, say, a toothpick, or entities, like the one you encountered yesterday. The blinking experience that you described aligns with the typical experience of a moderate Antenna. That's what I call people like us—Antennas; because we can pick up on signals others can't."
"We—you mean you see the blinking, too?"
"Yes, but not to the same extent as you. If all the blinks are gathered in a giant picture that you can see, I'm traversing the image through binoculars, maybe even a microscope, depending on where we are."
I thought about this. I guess it was possible there were other people like me out there, but since I had never met anyone, I didn't really consider the idea until now. And then for him to say my ability was somehow much stronger than his… "But," I started, "I haven't even seen that many blinks since I was a child. It's just more focused and malicious now."
"Yeah," Trent scratched his head, "that's the thing that got me really interested in you. Somehow you seem to be able to control it without gear, just by praying. And, look, that's all well and good, but I don't want to give you the false impression that I'm some kind of religious leader. I like to look for logical, scientific explanations for things. So that's the frame I'm coming at this from."
I took a sip from my drink. "That's fine," I said, "the truth is that's why I reached out to you in the first place. I wanted an explanation I could understand. An explanation that was directly related to what I'm going through."
"Then we should get along just fine."
I was scooping out the last potato that was stubbornly gliding along the bottom of the bowl when, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the old man from the line shooting up from his bench and standing in army-erect form. I felt a tingling sensation tickle the back of my neck. I didn't want to turn toward him. I knew what I'd see if I did. "Trent," I whispered, trying to tip him off.
"Huh?" he grunted. Then when he saw my expression, he snuck his right hand under the table and said, "Do you see it? Is it here?"
I cocked my head to the left, signaling toward the old man that was now facing us, but Trent didn't seem to notice him: his eyes just kept scanning the entire front of the restaurant. Then I saw the old man take a step in our direction.
"Lauuurennnn, oh Lauuuurennnn, I've been looking for you, Laurenn." The old man said in a low, gravelly voice that gave the impression he was gurgling liquid tar. I turned and saw his face. It was cold and expressionless, and a butter knife was poking out of his left fist. When I met his eyes, he smiled that horrible smile."You're a slippery bitch, you know that?" He spat. "Why can't you just stay put? Don't you get tired of running from your old friend? Or have you forgotten about me?"
"Trent," I mumbled out. "Right there."
"And this guy. You think he can help you? He's only here to help himself. If that's not clear, you really are a lost little lamb."
"Quick, give me your hand," Trent instructed.
I was silent, my eyes still pinned to the old man.
"Tsk-tsk-tsk," the demon possessed senior wagged his finger at me, taking a step, then another step, shortening the distance as much as he could while I was entranced. Then, suddenly, he sprinted forward at a speed that shouldn't have been possible for a man his age.
"Trent!" I screamed.
"Lauren, give me your hand!"
I spun around and grabbed Tren'ts outstretched arm just as the old man lifted the butter knife over his head like a pickaxe. Then I saw Trent pull out what looked like a toy gun from under the table and point it at the demon.
"Got you," Trent remarked. I braced for a gunshot, but there was no noise. After a couple seconds, I looked back and saw the old man sitting in the booth opposite his wife, his hand tremoring as he reached for his large drink.
"What did you?" I asked, but Trent was already pulling me out of my seat. "Come on, we have to go," he said, "the effect is temporary, he'll be—"
Before he could get out the last word, I saw the cup-pyramid on Trent's tray blink out of existence. The sound of a plate shattering rang out from a table up ahead. The lone woman standing there slowly turned around, smiling, with a fork in one hand and a piece of the broken plate in the other. Trent shot her with the toy gun as we ran past and then barreled through the front door.
"Where—are we going?" I asked between gasps.
"My van. It's loaded with kit."
"And then where?"
"Your house" replied Trent who stashed his gun back in his pocket and took out a key fob.
"My house? But that's where he—it appeared."
"Yeah, and that's where you banished it."
Trent waved me into the passenger seat of his RAM 3500 Promaster. I noticed right away the dash which looked more like it belonged in a new limited-edition EV than a cargo van. The ignition kicked on automatically, and I heard the beep of a sonar ping precede an English woman's voice calling out like some auxed-in GPS saying, "scanning for anomalies". Trent shifted the van into gear, and I heard the wheels sputter as we accelerated backward and whipped out of the small parking lot.
"What's your address?" Trent asked. I gave it to him, and then speaking to his dash, he said, "Car, take us to ****."
"Redirecting to ****," replied the British woman. "Currently detecting 31 novel emergences. Updating pings every 300 milliseconds. Chance of contact: 0.23%"
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"The van has sensor equipment which can detect blinks. It's much more accurate than either of us."
"And it sees 31?"
"Yes, that's not as many as it sounds." Trent said and tore past a car that blinked out of existence right as we turned onto the main street.
We drove on for another couple minutes, the Englishwoman updating the number of novel emergences every ten seconds or so. Her constant babbling eventually became a comforting background noise, and I was able to think again.
"In the message you sent me, you said my mom may still be alive." I looked at Trent to see if he would react to me bringing her up, but he remained stolid. "What did you mean by that?"
Trent thumbed his steering wheel. "I shouldn't have sent that." He said at last.
"Shouldn't have… What do you mean? You can't just say that now."
Trent took one hand off the wheel and turned toward me. "Look, we're going back to your house because we need to determine your origin point. All Antennas have them. It's a place of high energy where many realms intersect, kind of like a station, and it's the place where you first acquired your abilities. Based on everything you wrote, I'm guessing that place is where the forest where the accident happened when you were a young child. But I need to confirm it. Once I confirm that that's the place…" Trent hesitated.
"Then… what? You want us to go back there? To the place where my mom died, or at least where I think she died until you told me she might be alive but are now taking it back? That place?"
"It's the only way to—"
"Now detecting novel agent," the Englishwoman interrupted. We both perked up as she gave another update. "Net anomalies: 437. Novel Agents: 1. Chance of contact: 78%."
"Shit," Trent muttered. "Car, course correct."
"Attempting course correct to avoid collision. Attempts made: 10, 50, 75, 79… No alternate route detected. Chance of contact: 96%."
"Time until contact?"
"Time until contact: 13 seconds."
I shuddered. Looking out the front windshield, I saw cars pop out of existence left and right, opening up a clear path to the four way intersection ahead. In a blink, the streetlights all turned green, and then they vanished completely. It was as if the entire world was being stripped down bare, and all that remained was the road, boxed in by the rows of buildings along either side. In the distance I could see a large tanker barreling toward us.
"Trent,"
"I know," he replied and clicked a different button on the console which opened a new toggle for the shifter labeled "TD". He pushed the stick forward, engaging the new mode, then pressed the accelerator all the way to the ground. "You're going to want to hold on."
"What are you doing!?" I yelled, grabbing onto my seatbelt.
"No time to explain. Car, release phase lock."
"Phase lock released."
I watched in horror as the color drained from the road and buildings and sky, transforming it all into a dim tunnel, with only the headlights of the oncoming semi-truck visible up ahead. I had the sudden thought that this was all a dream, just like the ones from my childhood. I looked over and no longer saw Trent, but my mother. And then I realized this wasn't a dream. This was hell. I was being forced to relive the worst moment of my life, over and over again. Just when I thought I had escaped, I was pulled right back into that car, helpless as we approached but never arrived at our impending fate. I closed my eyes right as the lights engulfed the windshield and braced for the usual pain in my chest, for the feeling of breaking.
But it didn't come.
"Shift" was the last word out of Trent's mouth, and then I was infused with the sensation of being at the pinnacle of a roller coaster. I was suspended there for what felt like hours, but somehow I knew that not even a second had passed. Everything inside the van: the dashboard, windows, ceiling, doors, even Trent himself began to radiate enigmatic particles. They were a mass of constant motion, like raindrops falling through the air but never landing. I looked down at my hand, but it was gone. Diffused into an unknowable number of untraceable particles. The world outside, once devoid of color, was now nothing but color. When I tried to focus on a particular spot in the infinite geometric folds of whatever realm we were traversing through, I could sometimes detect a trace of our world.
The old lady from the church. She appeared as if through a window, standing behind a table, holding out a plant. Only this image was so much brighter. And the plant she was holding was pure gold. Then I'd catch a glimpse of the razor blade. It was large, many hundreds of times larger than the van, and surrounded by darkness. These ghostly images appeared like holograms or reflections that caught the light at just the right angle, then dissipated.
I stayed there, looping between the archetypes of my life for a long, long time.
***
I knew we were returning when I felt the first sense of motion. Breath filled my lungs for the first time in what felt like a day. I blinked. And then we were back in town, driving down the same road with the blue sky above. People were jogging on the sidewalk past the little street shops. The streetlights were active. I checked the side mirror and saw the tanker had just passed by.
I looked over at Trent, who met my eyes. We shared a look of knowing, and unknowing. For some reason, that was enough, and we continued on in silence.
***
We agreed to stay the night at my house.
Trent had parked a couple blocks away in front of a couple vacant houses so as not to arouse suspicion from the neighbors. Then he lugged a large duffel bag with his equipment in and set it up in the living room. He scanned the scrapbook which contained the newspaper clippings from the accident several times and confirmed that was likely my 'origin point'. I simply nodded and then went back out onto the back porch. I sat there for hours, basking in the sun. Something had changed in the past day, but I couldn't pick out what it was. Too much had happened. I had too little time to process any of it.
When the sun set, I went inside and Trent told me about his plans for the next couple days. He said he needed to run a few errands in the morning, then meet up with a couple of his associates. After that, we could begin our drive to Southern Illinois. He said it was likely that the entity that was chasing me had first tied itself to me during my childhood accident. For whatever reason, we came into contact, and now it didn't want to leave. Trent would help me get rid of it. He didn't go into many details regarding how that was to happen, but I don't think in my tired state I would have been able to understand much anyway. He had a plan, and that was enough for me. At least for a while.
After our meeting, I made sure Trent had enough pillows and blankets like a proper host, then I retired to my room. I laid down on my twin bed and stared up at the cream-colored ceiling. Then I turned and saw the participation awards for my junior soccer league stashed on my dresser. I pictured myself on the field, running with the ball, out ahead of everyone except the goalie. I took a shot, but it was blocked. Then I ran back to defend. How can such a simple game be so much fun? Was the last thought I had before drifting off to sleep.
I woke up only once during the night. It was still dark out. The room was warm despite the small, flower petal fan churning away, shifting the hot, humid air from one pocket of the room to the next. I waited in apprehension, sensing that something had disturbed me. I saw the tomato plushie peeking out at me from the slightly ajar closet door where I had stashed it so many years ago. I felt like I was missing something. Something important.
And then I heard it.
There was a tapping at my window.

submitted by Weathers_Writing to nosleep [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 04:07 Divergent_PolyOwl 33 [M4F] single solo poly human in search of a kindred spirit

Hello. I'm Joe.
I am Neuro Divergent (autism spectrum with OCD tendancies). I like to put this first because while it doesn't define me as a person, I am very logical, pretty direct/blunt at times, and lack a traditional filter, so if you do not get along with people like that or are offend at content without considering intent, I don't want to waste either of our time.
I have 3 beautiful kids and I see them regularly. No more kids in my future ✂️. I am active in my kids lives and split time equally with mom.
I lean towards introverted activities and enjoy staying in for a movie and cuddles over a night out, but I am happy to enjoy new experiences with people I know and trust. When the weather is codusive to spending time outdoors, you will find me inline skating, biking, nature watching, and generally just existing outside. I do enjoy going out to a bar and play darts occasionally or other fun activities. When I'm at home, I like smoking, playing video games or watching movies, board games, or just cuddling up and binging a TV show. Lets watch Avatar the last Airbender for the 10th time? lol
I'm not looking for anything in particular. I'm open to something casual or fwbs, to longer term or consistent dating if we are naturally compatible. I do enjoy spending time with like-minded people and typically gravitate towards other neurodivergent individuals. I believe in letting connections develop organically into whatever they will be and not forcing any goal or agenda in a relationship. If interested in a sexual relationship, be prepared to show proof of a recent std check. I take my health and the health of my partners seriously.
The quote: "You can be the sweetest peach on the tree, but some people just dont like peaches" resonates with me.
Im solo-polyamorous and im happy to talk about what that means for me. Im cool with casual as long as it's safe, but i definitely appreciate quality and consistent connections. Mutual respect of one another's lives outside of dating is important to me. I have a lot of things pulling at my attention and energy, and it would be ideal if you did too.
Recently ive found that life is much more enjoyable if i love myself and live without second guessing the little things.
Im just your average over calculating, blunt, loving, honest, forgettful, straightforward, trusting, loyal, oversharing, self aware human with healthy boundaries and a desire for personal growth.
I lean switch and im not into the heavy kinks, but ill try anything once. You never know if you like it until you try it 🤷🏾‍♂️. I'm very aware that my partners physical satisfaction directly corelates to my own.
I hope my raw and random collection of thoughts give you a small idea of who i am. If i sound like your type of person and you are local to northeast Illinois, please reach out. Until then, thank you for reading, beautiful redditor ☺️

submitted by Divergent_PolyOwl to polyamoryR4R [link] [comments]

2024.05.20 22:16 Wt87745 i dont think i qualify for anything on my college list. I feel like my college application is lacking. What are my college chances?

Im at the end of my Junior year of Highschool and im unsure about my application and what colleges i should apply to. I still have 3 days left of the year so final semester grades arent out yet but its gonna be around a 4.1. I had a 4.103 last semester and my grades have been basically the same.
I didnt really take school too serious freshman and sophmore year which i am sorely regretting now which is why im concerned about my college chances.
For background im a 17yo Chinese American male and I live in Ohio.
Before i start, in my class list youre gonna see CCP classes. CCP classes are college credit classes that are mostly an Ohio thing. Im probably gonna have a hard time getiing those credits accepted out of state which is one of my concerns.
Freshman (P.S. i dont have exact percentages)
Art I: A
CP Span I: B
HON Algebra I: A
HON Biology: B
HON English 9: A
World History: A
Sophmore
AP Lang: A (AP Test: 3)
APush: A (AP Test: 3)
CP Geometry: A
CP Span II: B
HON Chem: B
HON Algebra II: A
Junior
AP Psych: A
AP Gov: A
CCP Basic Pharmacology (online): A
CCP Pre Calc: A
CCP Comp I: A
CCP Consumer Econ: A
CCP Earth Science: A
CCP Intro to Open Source (online): A
Current GPA
4.1
CLASS RANK: 6
Senior
Plan to take CCP Anatomy and CCP Physics in the summer
During the school year im doing AP Lit, AP Human Geo, CCP Calc, CCP Bio
ACT/SAT
ACT: 25, 26, SS=27
SAT: 1290
Clubs:
Key Club: done all three years going onto senior year, only held a recruiter position (which everyone who runs gets) in freshman year.
FLBA: joined juniors and continuing into Senior year, did objective tests and won basic awards for it (pretty much everyone did)
Sign Language: Freshman and Sophmore year, girl who ran it graduated so its not availble now
Student Council: Freshman year, i knew nobody was afraid to talk at meeting and activities so i left sophmore year.
Sports:
Soccer: Varisity 2, only played for Freshman year
Archery: Every year up til junior year, i dont plan on doing it for Senior year tho
For college i plan to major in Biology for 4 years and get a Bachelors, then go to DPT school because i want to become a Physical Therapist. My major probably will change since im suspicous about the stats regarding Biology however thats just a template for now.
Alright now thats out of the way let me address some of my concerns:
For one, i do actually want to get into some sort of medical job. im also more interested in science subjects like Biology than math for instance. However HON Bio and HON Chem were my worst grades. Chem im pretty sure i got around an 80% and bio is probably also in the low-mid 80s. Im pretty worried about that since im planning on being a Bio major doing medical prereqs like chemistry.
This harkens back to the "i didnt take school seriously freshman or sophmore". i didnt really try my best in these classes because i didnt really like the teachers. However if i had actually took them serious I think i wouldve gotten much better scores since i hardly studied or paid attention in class. Despite that I still have an interest in Science, i thought both Psychology and Pharmcology were both interesting but i know thats not the same thing.
Im taking a bunch of science related courses during the summer and Senior year because of the PT thing. Ill see how they go.
Second concern is my extracurriculars. I just dont think theyre enough. I havent held any real leadership positions in any of my clubs, i mainly just helped out in activities. I dont know my community service hours but its probably around 20-30 all from key club.
I quit soccer and I'm quitting archery next year due to mental health reasons. Both sports stressed me out and put me in depressions. Im planning on doing powerlifting since weightlifting has been a really great hobby ive adopted the past year. However im pretty worried that this will show a pattern of quitting since ive already quit clubs before.
Aside from that, thats basically all. For jobs, ive worked at my parents buffet but mostly only during summers. This summer i plan to get a job outside of my parents buffet.
My mom has enrolled me in a lot tutoring classes though however i dont know if that count towards anything. The online tutoring classes is offered by this company in New York City. Ive takin General Math & English classes and ACT & SAT classes. Overall the hours for that are a lot. i can probably get the exact hours easily but im pretty sure its around 200-300 hours.
All in all this is one of the biggest things im worrying about since i feel like everyone else in my class has done way more.
Third, my ACT and SAT test scores. Despite having a fuckton of online tutoring classes for the ACT i just cant get that test to click for me. This is really frustrating since after so many hours of practice ive only been able to score a 25 and a 26. The highest score ive had on a practice test was a 30. That really sucks since i was very confident in my second ACT and practiced a long time for it.
My first SAT i got a 1290 which is about equivant to a 27 on the ACT. Again not really ideal. I do find the SAT to be much easier than the ACT tho. The test i did have was like right in the middle of Finals, midterms, and Ap Tests so i didnt have much time to study. Ill try my hardest to do better on the Aug 24 SAT but that may be my last chance since the next SAT date after that is on Oct 5.
Last thing are my CCP classes. Again they are mainly an Ohio thing so out of state colleges may not accept them. My sister went out of state and most of those classes didnt get college credit .
So anyways those were all my concerns. The colleges that my sister said belong to or my "matches" catagory are the Univeristy of Pittsburgh, Ohio State, and University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. The ones in my "reach" catagory are Case Western, Univeristy of Michigan, and John Hopkins. Thats all i have so far.
John Hopkins and Michigan both have <20% acceptance rates so that is probably the farthest edge of the reach catagory. Case Western is probably my best, most realistic option since it has a 35% acceptance rate and its in Ohio.
All the colleges in my matches category are pretty comparable. I think Pittsburgh may be the best option since its near Carnegie Melon (my sister's college) and apprently it has a pretty large premed student-base
With that said i really dont think im even in the ballpark for any of these colleges. My SAT is a 1290, literally none of their test score ranges. As well as this i feel like all of the problems ive outline are too much to make me a candidate for any of these colleges. My sister says i have a good chance of the match colleges. She said ill probably get into Ohio state however im really not sure. My activities suck, my state test scores aren't in their ranges, Ive stopped doing a lot of clubs and sports, my volunteering hours are barely anything, most my college credit classes are CCP which may not be counted. My GPA is probably the best thing on my resume but my high school isnt the most academically prestigous high school out there. Like highest GPA in my grade is probably a 4.5 out of 125 students.
Overall, i dont know how college admissions will think. Im really unfamilar with what gets into college and what doesnt. Im not sure if i even qualify anything on my list. Could you guys please evaluate me and tell me whats my situation? Additionally what are some other colleges that i should add to my list and that im applicable for? How do i even look for colleges aside from just strolling on USNews?

submitted by Wt87745 to chanceme [link] [comments]

2024.05.20 16:24 snarkaluff My idea of where each character ends up after the show

I only just watched Victorious for the first time as an adult so pardon me if I get anything wrong about these characters. But I just wanted to write out where I think these characters would realistically end up after school or where we could pick up if there ever were a reboot or reunion.
Tori: Goes on to pursue a career in music. While she doesn’t become the super pop sensation she thought she’d be, she is successful enough to make a living as a recording artist. She releases 7 albums in her career and only has a couple songs gain traction. She retires from music in her 30s after marrying an indie musician and starting a family. While they might not be super famous like she always imagined, Tori is very happy with how her life worked out and she and her husband enjoy sharing their love of singing with their children, who are very talented in their own right. They decide they will send their own kids to Hollywood Arts when they’re old enough.
Fame Level: 3/10
Andre: Quickly shoots to fame after releasing his own album online shortly after graduating and signs with a huge record company. Enjoys a successful career all throughout his 20s and starts his own record company in his 30s that makes him millions. This is where he meets and falls in love with a new recording artist, helping grow her career along the way. They get married and become the biggest power couple in music.
Fame level: 10/10
Trina: after high school, does not get into any of her dream art/theatre schools. She decides to attend a state university in Florida instead and just major in theatre. But she soon realizes that she has a better time in her core classes than anything art related, because she is actually on par with the other students and not constantly embarrassing herself. She joins a sorority of girls who are all just as loud and obnoxious as she is and she fits right in with them. Ends up changing her major midway through freshman year and instead graduates with a degree in social media marketing, which she finds herself really good at. She learns to love herself for who she is and to stop trying to be something she’s not to gain the approval of the wrong people. She meets the love of her life and they go on to have a very happy family
Fame level: 0/10
Jade: Gets into a very prestigious art school and majors in film. She makes short films which are very good, but incredibly horrifying even for the biggest horror fans. Which is fine, she decides she wants nothing to do with the mainstream film industry anyway and continues to make films that would never be allowed in theaters. She never becomes a household name, but she develops a very dedicated cult following and goes down in the history of horror film. She marries a 60 year old millionaire movie producer to be able to fund her filmmaking. Despite the age gap, they actually have a happy relationship since he always supports her work and never disagrees with her
Fame level: 5/10
Cat: Gets her big break after high school but quickly realizes that the music industry is much darker and scarier than she anticipated. She decides she doesn’t want to be famous, but still wants to pursue music in some way. She combines her love for both music and children and goes to college to become an elementary school music teacher. She goes off to a small private college in Illinois to be closer to her family. Being in such a different environment than LA helps her grow and finally mature. She becomes an incredible teacher and impacts the lives of thousands of children.
Fame level: 0/10
Robbie: Afraid of failing in the music industry, Robbie decides to pursue a more reliable degree that will guarantee a job in the future, finance. But it’s a lot different than high school for performing arts and Robbie quickly realizes he doesn’t fit in with his peers at all, especially not with Rex there. Since he isn’t great at making friends on his own, Robbie spends all of his time doing schoolwork or writing songs. While some of these songs are deep and emotional, a lot of them are just silly and written out of boredom. He records and uploads all of these songs onto YouTube, where his funnier songs get really popular. By the time he graduates college, he has hundreds of thousands of subscribers. He is able to make a decent career doing parodies of popular songs and original joke songs. While his fame never reaches mainstream, he becomes a Youtube legend.
Fame level: 6/10
Rex: Once Robbie realizes he can’t carry Rex around his university and be taken seriously, Rex is kept in Robbie’s dorm and acts like his college roommate. He is a big part of Robbie’s YouTube channel, acting in videos and even has his own segment. Rex becomes a fan-favorite in his own right, and catches the attention of a movie director. The director offers Robbie a huge amount to sell him Rex and his IP so he can give him his own movie. Robbie isn’t sure but Rex begs him to let him go, saying it’s his dream come true. Robbie agrees, finally letting Rex go once and for all. Rex stars in an adult comedy movie trilogy alongside Mark Wahlberg that’s massively successful among men age 18-24
Fame level: 9/10
Beck: after high school, gets cast in a teen drama series as a leading role. The show is very popular and Beck becomes a teen heartthrob. After 4 seasons on air, the show ends and Beck lands a few smaller projects of similar roles, but finds it hard to deviate away from his teen drama typecasting in Hollywood. In the following years, he brings more media attention from the women he dates rather than the work he does. Each new woman he dates always seems to be more famous than the last. Until his early 30s where he finds himself dating one of the biggest pop stars in the world, and she breaks up with him and writes am album about their failed romance. Suddenly the entire world hates him when he didn’t even do anything. He decides to take a step back from the spotlight and changes his career to working as a writer for television instead. He swears off relationship for a few years to be single for pretty much the first time ever and work on himself
Fame level: 7/10
Sinjin and Burf: End up going to the same university and major in film. They find moderate success working behind the scenes in Hollywood, until Sinjin hears the news that Sikowitz is leaving Hollywood Arts to run off to Mexico with his new fiancé. Sinjin decides he needs to fill Sikowitz’s position, and Burf joins him as his teaching aid. As a teacher, Sinjin makes sure that every student’s talents are explored in his class, not just the most talented and attractive students. He becomes one of the most impactful teachers in Hollywood Arts history.
Fame level: 0/10

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2024.05.20 15:53 historically_nerdy_ Has anyone from out of state had luck with research in Illinois?

Hi. I am researching my family from Illinois (I do not live in Illinois) and have hit information after information block within the state. Has anyone had luck with finding information from the state about your ancestors?
Note: my only source of information to go off of is a birth certificate from Illinois. I'm searching for information about my grandparents who lived in Chicago in 1954. I've nearly given up trying to get even a glimmer of info over the phone because it all seems to be an automated loop on the government end.
I would like to note that the people I'm searching for are deceased. Dorothy (born Shelton) was born in 1915 in Chicago, Illinois and John Allen was born in Illinois, sometime in either 1916 or 1917.
The info I have to work with: Names: Dorothy Allen (race/white), John Allen (race/white) Address: 417 Roscoe, Chicago, Illinois Date: 1954 Ages: in 1954 Dorothy was 39 and John Allen was 37.

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2024.05.20 15:50 shaveXhaircut [IL] A year and a half trying to settle estate, might any of these attorney's fee recovery laws apply?

Here is a more detailed explanation https://www.reddit.com/AskLawyers/comments/1cuxvyh/usil_step_brother_tried_to_take_my_moms_estate/
Step brothers filed a false claim of equitable adoption to try to take control of estate, one was made co admin (temp), they didn't pay the bills with the Checkbook, co admin removed next court date, previous co-admin then took part in clearing out (stealing) everything of value ($10,000 - $100,000 class 2 felony), then proceed to respond to demands and discovery that items were given to them before death.
From my 2nd court date until continuing has been removing the other admin and sending demand letters and motion of discovery.

IN QUESTION:

Supreme Court Rule 219(a), as follows:
(a) Refusal to Answer or Comply with Request for Production. If a party or other deponent refuses to answer any question propounded upon oral examination, the examination shall be completed on other matters or adjourned, as the proponent of the question may prefer. Thereafter, on notice to all persons affected thereby, the proponent of the question may move the court for an order compelling an answer. If a party or other deponent refuses to answer any written question upon the taking of his or her deposition or if a party fails to answer any interrogatory served upon him or her, or to comply with a request for the production of documents or tangible things or inspection of real property, the proponent of the question or interrogatory or the party serving the request may on like notice move for an order compelling an answer or compliance with the request. If the court finds that the refusal or failure was without substantial justification, the court shall require the offending party or deponent, or the party whose attorney advised the conduct complained of, or either of them, to pay to the aggrieved party the amount of the reasonable expenses incurred in obtaining the order, including reasonable attorney’s fees. Ill. S. Ct. R. 219(a) (b)Expenses on Refusal to Admit. If a party, after being served with a request to admit the genuineness of any documents or the truth of any matters of fact, serves a sworn denial thereof, and if the party requesting the admissions thereafter proves the genuineness of the document or the truth of the matter of fact, the requesting party may apply to the court for an order requiring the other party to pay the requesting party the reasonable expenses incurred in making the proof, including reasonable attorney's fees. Unless the court finds that there were good reasons for the denial or that the admissions sought were of no substantial importance, the order shall be made.
Illinois Compiled Statutes Chapter 755 - ESTATES 755 ILCS 5/ - Probate Act of 1975. Article XVI - Recovery Of Property And Discovery Of Information "......The court may tax the costs of the proceeding against the respondent and enter judgment therefor against him."
2023 Illinois Compiled Statutes Chapter 755 - ESTATES 755 ILCS 5/ - Probate Act of 1975. Article XXIII - Resignation And Removal Of Representative (d) The court may assess the costs of the proceeding against a representative who is removed for any cause listed in Section 23-2.
(Source: P.A. 79-328.)
Illinois Statutes Chapter 750. Families § 5/508. Attorney's Fees; Client's Rights and Responsibilities Respecting Fees and Costs
§ 508. Attorney's Fees; Client's Rights and Responsibilities Respecting Fees and Costs.
(a) The court from time to time, after due notice and hearing, and after considering the financial resources of the parties, may order any party to pay a reasonable amount for his own or the other party's costs and attorney's fees.

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2024.05.20 13:24 taitaigarvin How to bring ex lover back with magic spell casting USA, UK, UAE, UGANDA, SINGAPORE, SOUTH AFRICA

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submitted by taitaigarvin to blackmagicspelling [link] [comments]

2024.05.20 12:18 Neuro_88 Weekend Summary: 17-19 MAY 2024

submitted by Neuro_88 to usmassshootings [link] [comments]

2024.05.20 10:32 trackkiddd I haven’t gotten any sleep tonight because of her.

So I (25M) have been single for a few months now. The woman (25F) I was dating was someone I knew and had feelings for starting back in fall of 2020 (we met in college). Even though we didn’t start dating back then, we stayed in touch. We finally got into a relationship this past fall, and was doing the long distance thing (I live in Kansas, she lives in Illinois) She wanted the gap to close, as did I, but it’s kind of hard to do that with both of our jobs. Im a head college track coach, and she’s a biochem lab tech.
Over time she started getting distant, which made me get worried. It culminated with me getting dumped a few days before my indoor conference track meet. It was actually 30 minutes before practice. It was because she wasn’t over her ex or some shit? I don’t remember. Either way, she has a boyfriend now.
To cope, I threw myself into work (which I neglected because I was a little too focused on me and her’s relationship and trying to figure out how to close this gap). I started going out a lot more, drinking (a lot). I even sent this long ass text because I couldn’t stop thinking about her to the point where I couldn’t go to sleep. Because I felt myself spiraling, I ended up going back to therapy. It’s helped so far, which is nice.
Tonight I couldn’t fall asleep, so I decided that it was time to do something Ive dreaded doing for a while now: Clear out all of my memories of her from my phone. It took some hesitation and a little bit of crying at first, but it’s done.. and I feel refreshed.. and relieved. It’s also made me remember who the Fluff I am, and how I don’t need to be giving her the energy that I have been for the last several years. She doesn’t deserve this anymore.
Hopefully this is a step in the right direction.

submitted by trackkiddd to dating [link] [comments]

2024.05.20 07:59 JustMeInBigD Things to Do May 20-26

As always, if you know of an event that's not listed here, feel free to share it (with a link) in the comments. Feedback on events you've attended or plan to attend is welcome.
*Free (or no admission/cover)
--Recurring Event
Noteworthy: Dallas Stars and Dallas Mavericks begin playing their respective Western Conference Finals this week. Some dates and times are still TBA.
This weekend is Memorial Dayweekend with the holiday being observed next Monday (May 27).. Saturday, May 26 is Opening Day for public pools at The Cove at Crawford Park, The Cove at Fretz Park, The Cove at Samuell Grand, and Bachman Community Aquatic Center.
Dallas Pride week is next week, and pre-celebration events begin this weekend.
Weekend & Multi-Day Events
May 21-26 Frisco Roughriders vs. Midland Rockhounds at Riders Field, Frisco
May 25-26 Pegasus Film Festival at LOOK Dine-in Cinemas Dallas
May 25-26 Mad Max (1980) at the Texas Theatre
May 25-26 TwoGether Land at Fair Park
May 25-26 Ubbi Dubbi Festival at Panther Island, Fort Worth
Through May 27 Scarborough Renaissance Festival, Waxahachie
May 23-25 EVERGREEN [to grow] at Wyly Theatre
Through May 25 Echo Theatre: Beyond the Yellow Wallpaper at the Bath House Cultural Center
Through Jun 9 Hamilton at Winspear Opera House
May 17-June 1 Teatro Dallas: Cloud Tectonics at the Latino Cultural Center
*May 11- May 24 Women in Art – A Joyful Journey Exhibition at Art on Main
*Through June 28 Central Library Staff Art Exhibit at Dallas Public Library Central Branch
Monday, May 20
Ghosts: Do You Believe at Texas Theatre
Meatless Meals: Inspired by India at Central Market Cooking School Lovers Lane
*Book Signing/Discussion - Kimberly King Parsons: We Were the Universe at Interabang Books
*Mad Monday Karaoke at Three Links Dallas
*Gabby & The Birds at The Free Man
*--The Love Mic - Open Mic at Sundown at Granada
Mixer Mondays at Bowlounge
*Motown on Monday at Elm and Good
Kizomba Semba class & prática at Dallas Dance Studio
*Hall of Fame Mondays at Palms
Classics in Black and White: The Third Man at Angelika Dallas
Linny Nance Hour of Power (Soul, R&B) at The Balcony Club
Tuesday, May 21
Mahjong at The Crescent Club
*Transcend Yoga on the Museum Green at Fair Park
Sketch to Success: Watercolor Session at Ad Ex Dallas
Dallas Skyline Rooftop Paint Party at Canvas Hotel
*--Spanish Learners Conversation Table at Renner Frankford Branch Library
*Book Signing/Discussion - Kerry Nichols, Puppy Brain at Interabang Books
Lady London at House of Blues
*Swiftie Theme Trivia at Vector Brewing
*Ralyn Gayle at Truck Yard Dallas
*Lakefront Live: Kevin Arellano at the Bath House Cultural Center
Songwriter Social W/Justin Pickard (Open Mic Night) at Adair’s Saloon
Seth Cowles and Friends at Improv Addison
Wednesday, May 22
NBA Western Conference Finals - Dallas Mavericks vs. TBD at American Airlines Center
Arts and Letters Live: Nicholas Kristof at the Dallas Museum of Art
*Dallas Symphony Orchestra and The Concert Truck Performance at NorthPark Center
*Salsa Dance Social at Sammons Park
*Learn to Play American Mah Jongg at Preston Royal Branch Library
*Preston Royal Discussion Book Club at Preston Royal Branch Library
*Love Songs Duh Choir Concert at Dr. L.G. Pinkston Sr. High School
Avi Kaplan: Feel Alright Tour with special guest Michael Alvarado at The Kessler
The Heartbreak Kid (1972) at Alamo Drafthouse Cinema Lake Highlands
*Wednesday Patio Sessions: Lacey Ingram at The Sound at Cypress Waters
*Half Price Games Night at Dave & Buster’s
Women’s Climb Night at Movement Climbing at The Hill
*Andrew Frye, Solo Performance at The Kitchen Cafe
De Colores Presents: American Fiction at Studio C, Garland
*Watch Party Wednesdays: High School Musical at Grandscape, The Colony
Run Club at Armor Brewing Co., Allen
Thursday, May 23
NHL Western Conference Finals - Dallas Stars vs. TBD at American Airlines Center
ATB "Don't Stop" US Tour at Stereo Live Dallas
Ahadadream at It'll Do Club
Speed Dating Putt Putt and Mixer at Another Round
Sweat & Glow with Divi and Live Tinted at Place at Tyler
Thursdays on Tap at the Perot Museum
*--PNC Patio Sessions - Aurora Bleu at Sammons Park
*--K. Cooks & Friends at Chocolate Secrets
*Spanish Cinema Now+: Viaje a alguna parte at the Meadows Museum
* Uptown Dallas Inc. Annual Meeting at Violet Crown Theater
*--Chess for Adults at Vickery Park Branch Library
*--Knitting Group at Timberglen Branch Library
*Know Your City Series: Office of Arts and Culture at J. Erik Jonsson Central Library
*Japanese Tea Ceremony Demonstration at the Oak Lawn Branch Library
Derek Spence, A Tribute to George Strait at the Dallas Arboretum
Raised Right Men at The Rustic
*325 Comedy Show at Hyena’s Dallas
Friday, May 24
NBA Western Conference Finals - Dallas Mavericks vs. TBD at American Airlines Center
Eurodance - Dallas Pride Kickoff at Thrive
*A Journey through Psychological Sci-Fi at The Wild Detectives
TEKNOSTASIS in the Limbo Room at Ruins
BBQ Class at the Sheraton Dallas
Camp Saucer 5th Anniversary, Karaoke Kickoff at The Flying Saucer Cypress Waters
KXT 91.7 Presents: Warpaint with Sego at the Granada Theater
Dan Deacon with Future Nest at Club Dada
Brent Buemi + Mike Willey Jazz & Blues Duo at Opening Bell Coffee
*The Clinton Years at Lee Harvey’s
Chris Isaak at House of Blues
Dan Deacon at Club Dada
*Rachel Teague at The Rustic
**ctrl + alt + defeat* Gaming Night at Round Two
Kendrick Vs Drake: The Main Event at RBC Dallas
The Emo Night Tour at Trees
Taking Back Sunday with special guest Citizen at South Side Ballroom
*Lakeside Live Music: Faron Gilbert at The Sound at Cypress Waters
*RCN Jazz Band at Cityline, Richardson
*Disco Queen at Grandscape, The Colony
The Spazmatics at Lava Cantina, The Colony
*Gary Hobbs with Sabor Puro at The Levitt, Arlington
Saturday, May 25
NHL Western Conference Finals - Dallas Stars vs. TBD at American Airlines Center
FC Dallas vs. Salt Lake at Toyota Stadium, Frisco
Memorial Day Weekend Yacht Party/MImosa Walk at Elm & Good
*Saturday Sounds: Ceci Ceci at the Leonhardt Lagoon at Fair Park
*Forest Green Tabletop Brigade at Forest Green Branch Library
*Peaceful Paper Crafts at Grauwyler Park Branch Library
*Local Coffee Shop Talk: Oak Cliff Coffee Roasters at Hampton-Illinois Branch Library
*The Blank Collective Art Exhibition at The DEC Network
*Movie - Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy at Dallas West Branch Library
*Movie Night: Big Hero 6 at Klyde Warren Park
Discover Downtown Dallas Movie Series: Crazy Rich Asians at Harwood Park
Make & Take: Czech Kolaches at Central Market Cooking School, Lovers Lane
Create-Your-Own Sangria at Berkshire Farms Winery
Dallas Pride Rooftop Pool Party at Crowne Plaza Dallas Downtown
Sip and Stroll: Hotel Wine Tour at Omni Dallas
Goat Yoga Outside at Lakewood Brewing Company
Scarfias at Reveler’s Hall
Sunday, May 26
NBA Western Conference Finals - TBD vs. Dallas Mavericks
Burger Fight at Dallas Youth Sports
Cinema Con Nosotros Presents El Mariachi at the Texas Theatre
Nora En Pure Day Show at It'll Do
Rescue Puppy Yoga at Celestial Beerworks The Satellite
Drawing from the Masters at the Meadows Museum
Los Yonics at Tacos Pancho’s Mexican Restaurant
Make & Take: American Cobbler, Crisp & Handpies at Central Market Cooking School Lovers Ln
*Happily Ever Sip & Shop Local Vendor Market at Community Beer Co.
*Summer in Pegasus Plaza at Pegasus Plaza
Dallas Jazz Orchestra at Poor David’s Pub
Cybernetic Summer: A Memorial Day Weekend Party at The Double Wide
Brunch Movie: Charade (1963) at Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, Richardson

submitted by JustMeInBigD to Dallas [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 08:17 Hunt-Academic I don’t understand this connection

I am going to be completely honest and unbiased because I want to get clarity on this situation since it’s been causing me lots of distress
Last year, I (21F, TEXAS) got a dm on Twitter from A (22M, ILLINOIS). He was replying to one of my down bad tweets where I said “oh I want a boyfriend” I replied and decided to talk to him for a little bit because I believed the relationship between us wouldn’t go anywhere. After messaging on Twitter for a couple of days, I decided to give him my phone number. This involved us talking a lot more and building a weird connection. At first, he would chase me but I had adapted this mentality of “I don’t need a man” so I didn’t really pursue it. After a disagreement, I decided to cut this off because I believed that if we were to ever pursue a relationship between us it would just result in it being extremely toxic. Same day, he would spam me voice messages and talk about how he really wanted something with me and believed he was even developing passionate feelings towards me. A couple of weeks later, we started messaging again. I don’t really remember how it happened, but I know that we eventually stopped talking because I told him I wouldn’t change my mentality of not begging a man and letting a man walk away if they wanted to. So that led to me being blocked and I don’t know why but the first couple of weeks it was like I was able to survive without him but then I eventually felt like I needed him. So I kept messaging his # in hopes of maybe getting a response one day. A week or two go by and he replies saying he was getting my messages on his Apple Watch. I was so happy so relieved we could talk again. I asked him if we could talk again and I clearly remember him saying “yes but I want to make this clear, more to me than u, but we were never dating and we still aren’t” we talked for a solid 5 months everything was fine, yes we would have our little disagreements but it was never anything that would make us cut contact completely until one day we got in an argument and he decided to take a break from me to focus on his studies. Mentally, I was respectful of his decision but physically I just kept trying to talk to him spamming his phone every day waiting again to talk to him. He later blocked me since I wasn’t able to leave him alone. I kept trying to contact him for the longest time but nothing. I spent all summer of last year crying. I would ask the universe for a sign “if I’m meant to be with him please show me something” I would then go on with my day and would see all these little things that reminded me of him. People say I was looking for them, but I truly wasn’t. Maybe like 2-3 months later, I had started a new job and I remember seeing so many angel numbers and so many people that looked/smelled/talked like him. It was like I couldn’t escape/move on from my feelings. This situationship/talking stage/ whatever u wanna call it really messed with me in the head it took me over a year to get over it. I thought of him every single day. Not one day went by where I didn’t think of him. A year later, I’m finally in a better mental state really just focusing on me when all of a sudden I get a text from A. and that messed with me even more, on the way home I teared up because I thought I was over my feelings. We texted for a bit to catch up and whatever. He told me he would’ve liked to remain friends but I could never move on. I told him ,”well I’m over u now” knowing that I’m not even 100% there. We then started talking more and more and I told him about how I’m gonna be in Illinois this August and he said he would take me to dinner and now I am just so confused. After that night, he messaged me the next day but we didn’t even talk. I later on texted him “hey” but no response. It’s been a week now without talking and I know it may not be much and maybe I’m overreacting but I just feel so anxious about it. I don’t know if this is some sort of twin flame connection to better myself or if it’s something else. Can someone please be brutally honest with me and help me see what I can’t

submitted by Hunt-Academic to twinflames [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 06:41 Holy_Oblivion Current Situation within Christian Nationalism Nationwide

Salutations and greetings brothers and sisters in Christ.
Having posted last week about the current situation and end state/long term objectives, I would like to identity what the current state of the country is in relative openness to meeting our criteria. A lot of what I write comes from research sources from government websites (such as the US Census Data), research websites from trusted sources (such as the PRRI), or good primary source content from creators or first-person perspectives. Today I want to share a report from PRRI that I references previously in my post about end state and objectives. This will lay out what states have the highest concentrations of support for Christian Nationalism based on research, large groups/concentrations of Orthodox Churches, Large groups/Concentrations of Mainline Protestant churches, and then large groups/concentrations of Evangelical concentrations/groups. Using this data we can distil down to the various different states that would have the highest success rate for growing support for our objectives and end states.

Large groups of mainline protestants function as a potential recruiting opportunity. As these churches become liberalized and lose membership/die out, it allows for those aligned with our values to recruit and convert these individuals co-oping them into the cause.
Large congregations of Orthodox Churches can be used as a staging ground for the Neo-Orthodoxy revival within America and support the conversion of these churches into an Autocephalous Western Right Apostolic Holy Orthodox Church of America. Our objective number 1 for achieving our end state.
Large support for Christian Nationalism already exists within Evangelical Christianity. This means while conversion to the Neo-Orthodoxy movement to achieve our first objective, it is not strictly necessary if individuals join Evangelical Christian groups which support Christian Nationalism.
These three sources of Christian believers to support the desired end state for Christian Nationalism is essential.

If you recall from my previous post Objective 2 to meet our end state for the Nation is as follows: "38 out of 50 states within the United States must have greater than 50% Christian Nationalists adherents living within them by 2058. (creates super majority)." In this post I identified that we have to focus on 38 states to build up a primary base for changing the geo-political landscape by altering the socio-cultural landscape via Western Anglosphere focus Christian values. Specifically, I call out for a Western Right Orthodox Church of America but any congregation which aligns with Christian Nationalism would suffice. Just that Western Right Orthodoxy would be a solid cornerstone/foundation which would have the structure and adherence rate to survive greater than 80+ years rather than the mercurial protestants denominations which shift like sand. However, if those denominations can stand firm long enough to enact true political reform, amending the constitution, then it is worth to bring those denominations into the fold and act as one body of Christ.
Looking at the data from PRRI: Data Here You can see the breakdown of the different states which have high or higher percentage of support to the cause of Christian Nationalism. What this means for us, is it allows us to narrow down to our targeted 38 states we need to achieve our objectives. While we want to be advancing on all fronts, these 38 will have the highest chance of making mounting or achievable impact on Christendom at large.

As previously stated: "New York, Massachusetts, Oregon, Nevada, Maryland, Virginia, Illinois, California, Washington, Connecticut, and New Jersey are below the 25% general support for Christian Nationalism." What this means is that while we should try and spread the cause in all directions to all different states, these states have the lowest chance of it catching flame or finding a foundation.
Interestingly enough however, many of these states have large concentrations of old Orthodoxy residing within them: California, Massachusetts, Illinois, New York, and New Jersey all have large amounts of Orthodox Concentrations. Data Here Sadly they are drowned out by large amounts of non-Christians within these locations. New York, Illinois, and California have large amounts of Mainline Protestant which have the highest amounts of potential pickups of those leaving the denominations after becoming super liberalized towards Orthodox/Christian Nationalists sympathetic groups. Data Here
What this means is that while growth opportunity exists in New York, California, and Illinois we will struggle to gain and maintain a majority within the state just do to the demographic nature and the percentage game. Not that it is not worth our time, but we cannot rely on it. That said we could focus efforts in select swing districts at the local/congressional level in New York, California, and Illinois to possibly bring about pushing them towards the bubble and eroding hyper liberal power bases.

With the date for mentioned, we would have to conclude that these 11 states are not reliable for our growth and target objectives. Again, as with the case of New York, Illinois, and California, growth opportunity exists but not enough to justify targeting those states. Our focus now shifts to the bubble/swing states that we can make a difference to bring to the fold.

As previously stated: "Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, Arizona, Utah, Rhode Island, Delaware, Colorado, Hawaii, Pennsylvania, and Michigan are on the 25-29% cusp of supporting Christian Nationalism. Growth opportunity exists but could easily swing the other way.". What this means is that we would need to focus on these swing states and select at least one to focus our attention to bring it above the 30% thresh-hold for sustained and consistent push towards the cause to for fill our objectives.
The largest concentrations of Mainline Protestant denominations and Orthodoxy residing within them is Pennsylvania, with Michigan and Wisconsin in solid second place leading the others. Arizona and Colorado are behind Michigan and Wisconsin but hold a solid base in both Mainline and Orthodoxy. Meaning it would not take much to swing Colorado and Arizona to be more inline with our stated goals that we need to achieve.
Out of the rest, Hawaii might be the biggest outlier and most difficult to change do to geographic reasons. While a solid base for what we wish to accomplish exists, the demographics of such a place are working against us in % of population vs base. I would advocate for throwing out Hawaii and placing it into the below general support category.
Utah is a special case. Mormons, which would best be classified as a wild card, dominate Utah politics along with other Christian denominations. Forward progress will be difficult in Utah, but it might be more of a dialogue than a genuine need for conversion/bringing Utah into alignment.
What this means is that Delaware, Vermont, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, and Maine will be the long haul in this process to round out our 38 required states to align with the Anglosphere Western Right Orthodoxy / support for Christian nationalism. Naturally Vermont and Delaware will present interesting challenges. It would require demographic changes and construction of large amounts of mission work and proselytizing. Alternatives would have to be sought for these two otherwise if needed: Viriginia and New Jersey are likely candidates given the high number of Orthodoxy or Mainline protestants vs Delaware and Vermont.

This leaves us to the 38 states that we have to focus on to achieve our objectives on the strategic level for the United States to regain the conceptualization of Christian nationalism dominated by our Western Right Orthodox Church of America focused on preserving the ideals of Anglosphere cultural and societal roots forward for the next 80-120 years.

Alabama, Alaksa, Arizonia, Arkansas, Colorado, Delaware*, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey*, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah**, Vermont*, Virgina*, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.
Delaware and Vermont can be changed for New Jersey and Virgina respectively which is the reason for the call out. Utah is also a special case given its high Mormon population.
Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, and Arizona have unique opportunities with the largest growing non-white Christian Nationalists groups: Hispanics who are Evangelicals. Continued growth in this area can eventually turn all four corners into solid supporters for our socio-cultural fabric which we wish to layout. Of them, Colorado faces the most pushback but growing areas of support.
Different regions within the 38 states are going to have to move/work in different ways to achieve our objectives. Just because a state has +30% of Christian Nationalists support already AND might traditionally thought politically as a "red" state, that does not mean they align with our core values or end state. New Mexico and Arizona are wildly different than Tennessee, Alabama, and Georgia. Requiring different approaches to changing the views on a local level.
The flexibility of Mainline and Evangelical Protestantism is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. The common faith shared across state borders and regions does not always align culturally or politically. One socio-cultural norm must exist. While sub-cultures are welcome, they cannot deviate from the overarching Anglosphere cultural norm which must dominate to align the whole country with our values and preserve the Republic.

This goes into the objective number 1 to meet our end state for the United States and Christian Nationalism. As stated previously: "Establish one Autocephalous Western Right Apostolic Holy Orthodox Church of America with Romanian, Russian, and Antiochian ceding to this new Orthodox Church with establishment of a Patriarch of America." This will create a large common Holy and Orthodox Church of America that will allow for Anglosphere dominate cultural to thrive from the local/micro level all the way to the macro-country wide level. The church will function both culturally and religiously to preserve our common Anglosphere dominated values and Western conceptualizations of rights within our Republic.
As always, please let me know what you think and what can be done to improve. Is this too wordy? Is everyone able to follow along fairly well? Let me know or join the conversation!

submitted by Holy_Oblivion to Christian_Nationalism [link] [comments]

2024.05.19 04:13 ReferendumAutonomic Real courts allow wackiness

weird lawyers

"This Eighth Circuit opinion teaches two lessons. First, sovereign citizens' legal-mumbo-jumbo-filled parallel universe is a wild place. Second, criminal defendants have a constitutional right to "go down in flames if they wish" by representing themselves, and the mere fact that a defendant is politely pressing his "wacky" arguments before trial is not the kind of disruptive behavior that loses him his right to self-representation." Many courts and places are so conformist they falsely claim it's a crime to be weird. https://reason.com/volokh/2024/05/17/short-circuit-a-roundup-of-recent-federal-court-decisions-263/

rehab mostly doesn't work

india, "Over 90% of de-addiction & rehabilitation centres operate illegally in city, jeopardising the well-being of patients." https://punemirror.com/pune/health/are-the-addicts-in-safe-hands/cid1715927040.htm

antipsychotics don't work

new york, "NYC Council Calls for Budget Restorations and Greater Investments in Programs That Address Recidivism and Mental Health." https://council.nyc.gov/press/2024/05/17/2610/

royally screwed

"King Charles III retains patronage of Royal College of Psychiatrists." https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/news-and-features/latest-news/detail/2024/05/17/king-charles-iii-retains-patronage-of-royal-college-of-psychiatrists

judges

pakistan, "judges are no angels. If angels, they too are bald (Saadt Hasan Manto, Ganjey Farishtey)" Judges should not have immunity against lawsuits such as for 2022 believing perjury that I smelled when I had just showered and that there are gang members in the psych ward who openly admitted it. https://www.pakistantoday.com.pk/2024/05/17/who-will-guard-the-guardians/

Bill of Rights

illinois, "Weiner announced the state is drafting a “Mental Health Bill of Rights” – also without a timeline." https://ipmnewsroom.org/pritzker-pledges-to-expand-access-to-mental-health-care-in-illinois/

metabolism

"A Review on the Possible Therapeutic Intervention by Herbal Remedies on Antipsychotic Drugs Induced Metabolic Disorder." https://typeset.io/papers/a-review-on-the-possible-therapeutic-intervention-by-herbal-36hll20u

bones

"Osteoporosis management in adults with schizophrenia following index hip fracture event: a 10-year population-based retrospective cohort study, Ontario, Canada...associated with a lower incidence of testing or treatment." https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38760503/

personal experiences

May 18 6 PM mother harassed my religious beard. felon delusionally called herself the best mother. she's a closed minded serial swatter instead of debating, poisoner of food, jealously ruined 11 years of dates, incest groper, threatened me with a blade twice, and other stress-inducing liar crimes.
mother said I'm "not an incompetent person." she was immediately offended by the Lifetime movie The Bad Guardian. https://youtu.be/XDjvs8u-TBM Character said "they're a bunch of fascists...drug us into submission...(on medical record) Lies!...lazy bunch of bastards."
X-rays of my neck and lower spine prove I have a (L4) hernia slipped disc, arthritis, scoliosis/curvature lordosis, retrolisthesis, "narrowing of the intervertebral disc space at L5-S1." she told me since 2003 to somehow exercise on intoxicating garbage pills instead of painkillers when I can't even sleep comfortably.

submitted by ReferendumAutonomic to Antipsychiatry [link] [comments]

http://rodzice.org/