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2024.06.04 22:49 potatus100001 Letter to my favourite teacher
Hi there. As the end of the school year is coming, at least in my country, i want to give a letter to my teacher i really admire, because she is my favourite one. She is maybe leaving so i want to Thank her for everythinf she has done for me. Here it is:
I've been thinking for a long time about what to give you at the end of the year as a sign of my appreciation. The flowers wilt, the chocolate gets eaten, the feeling of a hug fades, and the spoken words are forgotten in time. That's why I decided to write you a message that you can come back to at any time. When I saw you for the first time in September, I knew immediately that you would be special. The way you talked about history was so infectious that I found myself taking an interest in it in my spare time. I could listen to you for hours and hours. I still remember you coming up to me after the first art class, when no one else was there, and telling me how sweet I was. You said I'm very smart, you can see that in me, and it's nice of you to take my advice. Then I looked at you and something changed. Honestly, I didn't even hear what you were saying next because I was thinking more deeply about you. I don't know exactly what changed, but from that day on I perceived you differently, I felt so comfortable with you. Sometimes we used to talk after class, and even there you used to tell me that I was very good, and when I got full score on my first exam and you praised me so much for that, I felt like a commitment to getting full scores all the time. I didn't want to disappoint you, and I also wanted to prove to you that even in that class where half of the people are completely uninterested in the material you are going over, and the other half are constantly talking, there is someone who is interested in every single word you say. Someone who silently admires you. In October, I ventured to an exhibition you curated. But I was embarrassed to go alone, so I asked my friend to come with me. I wanted to see what you were like outside of school, what your speech would be like, or just what you would look like when you opened the exhibition. When we got there and our gazes met, I could see how pleased you were that we actually showed up. I don't know if you didn't believe that we were really going to be there, or if you just took it as an empty promise, but you were so genuinely happy. We talked and I told you that the exhibution is totally cool. But I hope it was clear to you that I didn't go there because of the artist or because of his paintings, which yes, were amazing, but you were even more amazing. Also at this show I had the opportunity to talk to you a little longer than I did at school. While the girls were there admiring the richly decorated sandwiches on the tables, I listened to everything you said and got to know you a little deeper again. Months passed until we found ourselves in January, the day after the main art exam when I cried in your office. But you were there for me. You didn't ignored me, you didn't say you didn't have time for me, you were willing to listen to what was bothering me and tell me what to do about it. Your approach turned my despair into a learning experience that helped me become stronger. The way you listened to me with open arms and wise words really helped me not to overthink some things. But you were the one who explained it to me. You were the one who told me not to dwell on the things I can't change, not to carry the burden of the past on my shoulders every day and to let go of it as soon as possible. You were the one who was there for me. I can't even explain to you in words how much that conversation helped me. It may sound strange, but really, I'm a completely different person. We've talked a lot over the past few weeks, whether it's about school, the future, your experiences, your experiences, or just how other people perceive the world and stating their behaviors. Through these conversations, I've really found out what you're like. You opened up to me as well, allowing me to see other sides of you, not just the ones you show to all students in the school. You have been very encouraging and supportive of me in everything. You were able to find the potential in a girl that everyone immediately wrote off, the path she could take in life. You were able to find a piece of yourself in her. I often wonder how we can be so alike, I've never met anyone like that. It's interesting that I often relive in the future what happened to you long ago. We laugh at similar things, have the same interests, and admire the same artistic movements and their representatives. It's fascinating. I've never met anyone who is as similar to me as you are. Maybe it's the fact that you're just one. You are very intelligent, insightful, elegant and unique. Strong, but also deeply emotional and fragile. Over time I have learned what you like and what you dislike, what you don't make a big deal about and what touches you strongly again. You are beautiful, inside and outside. Perfect as art. You really mean a lot to me, I admire you from the bottom of my heart and I hope to see you again after the holidays. I would be very sad if you were to leave after all. I would miss you very much. In fact, I don't know if I could ever cope with you not being here. I don't know what I would do. I can't imagine that I'd never hear your voice again, that I’d never meet you again. I would miss our conversations, our endless smiles and looks, the warm words and recommendations you give me every week. I would miss you. I can't express in words how much I would miss you. It's hard, thinking about it, but I find comfort in the fact that you would still remain in my memories. Forever. Just the way you are. The way I perceive and admire you. I greatly appreciate all that you have done for me. I appreciate the way you approached me or the special way you thought of me in different situations. I am grateful to you for that. When you think about it, it's all one big art. Exactly the kind of art we learn about at your classes. Artists capture their precious moments, thoughts, and emotions with brush strokes, colors, layers, or random details that are never so random. You are the artist. You are the artist who left the strokes of his brushes in me that will stay there forever.
Thank you.
Please, give me your thoughts About it. Is it Good enough?
submitted by potatus100001 to writing [link] [comments]
I've been thinking for a long time about what to give you at the end of the year as a sign of my appreciation. The flowers wilt, the chocolate gets eaten, the feeling of a hug fades, and the spoken words are forgotten in time. That's why I decided to write you a message that you can come back to at any time. When I saw you for the first time in September, I knew immediately that you would be special. The way you talked about history was so infectious that I found myself taking an interest in it in my spare time. I could listen to you for hours and hours. I still remember you coming up to me after the first art class, when no one else was there, and telling me how sweet I was. You said I'm very smart, you can see that in me, and it's nice of you to take my advice. Then I looked at you and something changed. Honestly, I didn't even hear what you were saying next because I was thinking more deeply about you. I don't know exactly what changed, but from that day on I perceived you differently, I felt so comfortable with you. Sometimes we used to talk after class, and even there you used to tell me that I was very good, and when I got full score on my first exam and you praised me so much for that, I felt like a commitment to getting full scores all the time. I didn't want to disappoint you, and I also wanted to prove to you that even in that class where half of the people are completely uninterested in the material you are going over, and the other half are constantly talking, there is someone who is interested in every single word you say. Someone who silently admires you. In October, I ventured to an exhibition you curated. But I was embarrassed to go alone, so I asked my friend to come with me. I wanted to see what you were like outside of school, what your speech would be like, or just what you would look like when you opened the exhibition. When we got there and our gazes met, I could see how pleased you were that we actually showed up. I don't know if you didn't believe that we were really going to be there, or if you just took it as an empty promise, but you were so genuinely happy. We talked and I told you that the exhibution is totally cool. But I hope it was clear to you that I didn't go there because of the artist or because of his paintings, which yes, were amazing, but you were even more amazing. Also at this show I had the opportunity to talk to you a little longer than I did at school. While the girls were there admiring the richly decorated sandwiches on the tables, I listened to everything you said and got to know you a little deeper again. Months passed until we found ourselves in January, the day after the main art exam when I cried in your office. But you were there for me. You didn't ignored me, you didn't say you didn't have time for me, you were willing to listen to what was bothering me and tell me what to do about it. Your approach turned my despair into a learning experience that helped me become stronger. The way you listened to me with open arms and wise words really helped me not to overthink some things. But you were the one who explained it to me. You were the one who told me not to dwell on the things I can't change, not to carry the burden of the past on my shoulders every day and to let go of it as soon as possible. You were the one who was there for me. I can't even explain to you in words how much that conversation helped me. It may sound strange, but really, I'm a completely different person. We've talked a lot over the past few weeks, whether it's about school, the future, your experiences, your experiences, or just how other people perceive the world and stating their behaviors. Through these conversations, I've really found out what you're like. You opened up to me as well, allowing me to see other sides of you, not just the ones you show to all students in the school. You have been very encouraging and supportive of me in everything. You were able to find the potential in a girl that everyone immediately wrote off, the path she could take in life. You were able to find a piece of yourself in her. I often wonder how we can be so alike, I've never met anyone like that. It's interesting that I often relive in the future what happened to you long ago. We laugh at similar things, have the same interests, and admire the same artistic movements and their representatives. It's fascinating. I've never met anyone who is as similar to me as you are. Maybe it's the fact that you're just one. You are very intelligent, insightful, elegant and unique. Strong, but also deeply emotional and fragile. Over time I have learned what you like and what you dislike, what you don't make a big deal about and what touches you strongly again. You are beautiful, inside and outside. Perfect as art. You really mean a lot to me, I admire you from the bottom of my heart and I hope to see you again after the holidays. I would be very sad if you were to leave after all. I would miss you very much. In fact, I don't know if I could ever cope with you not being here. I don't know what I would do. I can't imagine that I'd never hear your voice again, that I’d never meet you again. I would miss our conversations, our endless smiles and looks, the warm words and recommendations you give me every week. I would miss you. I can't express in words how much I would miss you. It's hard, thinking about it, but I find comfort in the fact that you would still remain in my memories. Forever. Just the way you are. The way I perceive and admire you. I greatly appreciate all that you have done for me. I appreciate the way you approached me or the special way you thought of me in different situations. I am grateful to you for that. When you think about it, it's all one big art. Exactly the kind of art we learn about at your classes. Artists capture their precious moments, thoughts, and emotions with brush strokes, colors, layers, or random details that are never so random. You are the artist. You are the artist who left the strokes of his brushes in me that will stay there forever.
Thank you.
Please, give me your thoughts About it. Is it Good enough?
2024.06.04 22:45 salz_ist_salzig You shitposters made me realize that the IMT is a fucking hellhole
I have been a member of the IMT for the better part of a year now. I had only been interested in Marxism for a few months at that time. For context I am 17 years old and still in school, so I don’t have a lot of money at my disposal.
I joined the IMT because they were, apart from some obscure Kurdish Maoist group, the only communists in my region. I wanted to join because I thought I could learn something but didn’t plan on actively working for them as I was already aware of their newspaper selling and leaflet distributing strategy but thought that I’d just keep out of that.
Sexual assault: A younger comrade (f 14) who I’ll call J for the text’s sake. Whose whole family are comrades, was sexually assaulted, if not raped, by another comrade (m 18), a friend of her, at a comrade’s new year’s party. They were both drunk and high. Mind you, in my country Vodka, which they both drank a lot of, Is illegal under 18. Weed is also completely illegal. The organizations initial handling of the situation was okay, and I thought the criticisms the IMT receives for sexual assault were unfounded, at least in my section. On January 3. Two members told me in person because I was somewhat close to J. They said that J had to decide what was going to happen to the perpetrator. They also asked me to keep a lookout for her in case she wanted to talk. So far so good. Unfortunately, good things don’t last. A few months passed, and I had talked quite often to J. One day I saw the perpetrator on a rally, so I asked her why she hadn’t decided to have him kicked out of the organization because she had been traumatized by the assault, and understandably, hated him a lot. She told me that a few days after the assault, she had a talk with a few of the higher ups in the organization. They convinced her to not get him kicked out, as he was a “good comrade”, and we apparently couldn’t afford to lose him. So, he stayed in the organization. And J was forced to get used to him being there. To this day the perpetrator is still here, acting like nothing ever happened and is still friends with the same people he was friends with before. This felt weird to me as I didn’t quite understand why she accepted her assaulter to still be in the same organization as me. I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until quite a bit later.
Peer pressure: Their tactic which they have been relatively successful with lately is the following: Peer pressure members into standing around in the city, or wherever a lot of young people are, and sell their newspaper. I think it’s understandable that I felt uncomfortable standing outside of my school selling newspapers about communism to all my friends before class, knowing the amount of bullying that would ensue. I have been personally berated multiple times for not having sold any newspapers and not having been at enough “info tables” as we call them. If anyone is interested and shows up to one of the weekly meetings, they are basically instantly asked to join. After they agree the comrades will all tell them their membership fees before asking what you would be ready to pay. This is obviously done to get you to pay the maximum you can without explicitly telling them to. This way they have grown by like 50% in the past year. Just being a member, paying your membership, and attending internal event is not an option as they require you to do recruitment work if you want to join.
Money: The IMT requires a lot of money from its members. Since I am a student my membership fee was 20€/month. I personally know at least 5 comrades that pay more than 100€ per month. Additionally, every newspaper, which is released every two months, you buy costs 5€. Every book you buy from them is at least 10€. Also there are winter and summer fundraisers where you are expected to pay at least 50€ but I’ve seen people donate up to 2500€. Any equipment your branch needs (tables, megaphones, etc.) also must be paid for separately. Also, basically every single event they host will have a lottery. They’re always quick to explain that by saying that since they are entirely self-funded, they need a lot of money. But if you ask them for a look into the finances they are even quicker to deny. I don’t know what happens to the money, maybe it really is that expensive to write and print a newspaper
Politics. The IMT is a Trotskyist organization. I don’t really care about the Trotsky part. I know most Marxists don’t like him, but it seems that his theory isn’t that bad. Also, they read way more Lenin and other classical theory than Trosky. The only books he wrote they care about are “Revolution betrayed” and “Permanent revolution” What bothers me is the amount of opportunism they engage in, to grow. Ever since October 7. They have done nothing but Palestinian liberation, to the point where they will encourage members to sing nationalist Palestinian songs to “boost morale among comrades”. Specifically, the Song: “Ana dammi falastini” with lyrics such as:” My blood is Palestinian, on my promise, on my faith.”
All in all, I always had a bit of a weird feeling regarding the IMT, as some things just felt off. But it didn’t click until today when I saw the story of another person that quit the IMT. While reading I felt my stomach drop because everything, he wrote I had experienced as well but just put off as me not having the necessary revolutionary motivation.
I will be leaving as soon as the first possibility arises This is the post that opened my eyes
submitted by salz_ist_salzig to Ultraleft [link] [comments]
I joined the IMT because they were, apart from some obscure Kurdish Maoist group, the only communists in my region. I wanted to join because I thought I could learn something but didn’t plan on actively working for them as I was already aware of their newspaper selling and leaflet distributing strategy but thought that I’d just keep out of that.
Sexual assault: A younger comrade (f 14) who I’ll call J for the text’s sake. Whose whole family are comrades, was sexually assaulted, if not raped, by another comrade (m 18), a friend of her, at a comrade’s new year’s party. They were both drunk and high. Mind you, in my country Vodka, which they both drank a lot of, Is illegal under 18. Weed is also completely illegal. The organizations initial handling of the situation was okay, and I thought the criticisms the IMT receives for sexual assault were unfounded, at least in my section. On January 3. Two members told me in person because I was somewhat close to J. They said that J had to decide what was going to happen to the perpetrator. They also asked me to keep a lookout for her in case she wanted to talk. So far so good. Unfortunately, good things don’t last. A few months passed, and I had talked quite often to J. One day I saw the perpetrator on a rally, so I asked her why she hadn’t decided to have him kicked out of the organization because she had been traumatized by the assault, and understandably, hated him a lot. She told me that a few days after the assault, she had a talk with a few of the higher ups in the organization. They convinced her to not get him kicked out, as he was a “good comrade”, and we apparently couldn’t afford to lose him. So, he stayed in the organization. And J was forced to get used to him being there. To this day the perpetrator is still here, acting like nothing ever happened and is still friends with the same people he was friends with before. This felt weird to me as I didn’t quite understand why she accepted her assaulter to still be in the same organization as me. I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until quite a bit later.
Peer pressure: Their tactic which they have been relatively successful with lately is the following: Peer pressure members into standing around in the city, or wherever a lot of young people are, and sell their newspaper. I think it’s understandable that I felt uncomfortable standing outside of my school selling newspapers about communism to all my friends before class, knowing the amount of bullying that would ensue. I have been personally berated multiple times for not having sold any newspapers and not having been at enough “info tables” as we call them. If anyone is interested and shows up to one of the weekly meetings, they are basically instantly asked to join. After they agree the comrades will all tell them their membership fees before asking what you would be ready to pay. This is obviously done to get you to pay the maximum you can without explicitly telling them to. This way they have grown by like 50% in the past year. Just being a member, paying your membership, and attending internal event is not an option as they require you to do recruitment work if you want to join.
Money: The IMT requires a lot of money from its members. Since I am a student my membership fee was 20€/month. I personally know at least 5 comrades that pay more than 100€ per month. Additionally, every newspaper, which is released every two months, you buy costs 5€. Every book you buy from them is at least 10€. Also there are winter and summer fundraisers where you are expected to pay at least 50€ but I’ve seen people donate up to 2500€. Any equipment your branch needs (tables, megaphones, etc.) also must be paid for separately. Also, basically every single event they host will have a lottery. They’re always quick to explain that by saying that since they are entirely self-funded, they need a lot of money. But if you ask them for a look into the finances they are even quicker to deny. I don’t know what happens to the money, maybe it really is that expensive to write and print a newspaper
Politics. The IMT is a Trotskyist organization. I don’t really care about the Trotsky part. I know most Marxists don’t like him, but it seems that his theory isn’t that bad. Also, they read way more Lenin and other classical theory than Trosky. The only books he wrote they care about are “Revolution betrayed” and “Permanent revolution” What bothers me is the amount of opportunism they engage in, to grow. Ever since October 7. They have done nothing but Palestinian liberation, to the point where they will encourage members to sing nationalist Palestinian songs to “boost morale among comrades”. Specifically, the Song: “Ana dammi falastini” with lyrics such as:” My blood is Palestinian, on my promise, on my faith.”
All in all, I always had a bit of a weird feeling regarding the IMT, as some things just felt off. But it didn’t click until today when I saw the story of another person that quit the IMT. While reading I felt my stomach drop because everything, he wrote I had experienced as well but just put off as me not having the necessary revolutionary motivation.
I will be leaving as soon as the first possibility arises This is the post that opened my eyes
2024.06.04 22:45 NeoIsTheChosen1 I don’t know if I (24M) should take back my ex-girlfriend (22F) or not. We were long distance but now we’re close. What should I do?
I’m at a crossroads right now, my head is telling me no but my heart is telling me yes. The story is a bit complicated so I will do my best to explain our relationship so you can understand the full picture.
I’ll start with the way we initially got together. We come from the same country ethnically, but I lived my whole life abroad. When I was 17 I met her in my home country while I was visiting for the summer. We only spent one day together at a family gathering, she was a friend of a friend. Well since that day we became good friends and we started texting for years. Eventually I felt romantic interest in her but she declined because she wasn’t interested at the time. This was 6-7 years ago. Since then we didn’t talk as much. Then about 3 years ago during the summer, I was visiting again and we crossed paths again. It had been like 4 years since we last talked. We had a great conversation and it was as if we never stopped talking. We had extremely good chemistry and we both felt a spark. After that I knew she had interest in me, we kept texting and she sent me a really long paragraph about how she caught feelings for me and she regrets rejecting me in the past, and how she would really love it if I gave her another chance to get to know each other romantically. I felt the same way about her so I decided to give it a shot. Keep in mind I only saw her in person that one time, I left back to my country after just two days. But we were both willing to do long distance because we were extremely attracted to each other and we saw a future together.
So our entire relationship was basically long distance, all of it was over the phone. But our relationship escalated very quickly, she told me it happened like it was straight out of a movie. Eventually she was telling me things like I’m the one and she wants to marry me and she’s never been this sure of anything in her entire life. I felt the same way. It was one of those things where “when you know you know”. I had already know her previously and her personality. Anyways, we didn’t really have a plan to close the distance, but we were willing to stick it out until I could move to her. It would’ve taken 2-3 years. But of course we had to meet each other first and date in person. After a whole year of dating, we planned a trip together to Italy so we could finally spend time with each other for the first time. We waited a long time for this moment. I thought the trip went great and that it solidified our relationship, she told me she had a great time and that the chemistry was still there in person.
Well a few months after that trip, which was last January, she broke up with me. She basically said she couldn’t do the distance anymore even though she thought she could. And that she wasn’t able to see me only once a year, and keep saying “one day” without an actual plan. Which is completely understandable, I don’t blame her at all. It was probably doomed to fail because of that. But afterwards, I was so heartbroken by the breakup that I reacted very emotionally. I wrote her a long letter explaining my feelings and how I couldn’t understand why she would give up after all the promises. Now I completely understand, but at the time I didn’t because I was blinded by my own feelings. I kept pushing her and bothering her for more answers, and eventually she snapped at me. She said a lot of things that were hurtful and disrespectful. She said that she was forcing herself to be comfortable with me on the trip, that it wasn’t the type of comfort it should be with the one, she said that the distance wouldn’t have mattered if it was the right person (which contradicts her previous excuse about distance), she also said that she just didn’t love me anymore, and she didn’t want to settle for someone she has to learn to love, she wants to find a love that comes naturally to her. She also said that she might’ve just loved the idea of me because it felt different on the trip. And that if we had a base together, maybe it would’ve worked. But we never got to know each other physically, we got into a committed relationship for a year without ever seeing each other in person.
So basically, her initial reason was the distance, but after she snapped at me she said that it was because she didn’t love me and that I’m not the right person for her. Even though she believed with all her heart that I was the right person during the relationship. So maybe it was a combination of both reasons, I don’t know. Maybe the extreme distance led her to lose feelings and realize I’m not the right guy for her. Anyways, we ended it in January and we went no contact since then. Not a single text. I was extremely heartbroken for months and very hurt at the things she said to me. I couldn’t understand how she moved on so quickly and discarded me from her life. As if I never meant anything to her. We were planning our future together.
I just want to add that now 4 months after the breakup I completely understand her. I understand why she felt uncomfortable with me. We met each other for one day and then spent an entire year talking over the phone and got into a committed relationship. We never had the opportunity to get to know each other physically. In a normal relationship you would spend time together in person and THEN decide to commit. So over the course of a year we built up an idealized version of each other in our heads. When we met on the vacation, physically we were strangers. I’ll admit, I felt a bit uncomfortable too, and it felt a bit weird, but after a few days I did feel comfortable with her. I figured it was normal since we have to get used to each other. But I was willing to look past it because I loved her. And she is definitely the type of woman that needs to spend a long time with someone before feeling comfortable being intimate with them. Also, it was her first serious relationship and she’d never even had her first kiss before. She’s a very reserved and shy girl. Maybe I rushed things by trying to kiss her too soon, I should’ve went way slower and just focused on getting comfortable with each other. On top of all that, we were also in a strange environment that we’ve never been to before (Italy), with a person that is a stranger physically. Yes we talked for an entire year but physically we were strangers. We spent a year in a committed (digital) relationship, so by the time we met, there was all this expectation built up of how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to immediately behave as committed couples do. When in reality, what we probably should’ve done was get to know each other first. we should’ve probably just talked for a year without actually committing, and then decide if we want to be together after we actually meet. But since we both rushed into it, there was a lot of expectation. So overall it completely makes sense that we were uncomfortable because we never had a base to build off of.
Now it’s been about 4 months since the break up with no contact. A turn of events happened in my life and I ended up moving to my country this month, much sooner than I expected, for a work opportunity. It’s the same country where my ex lives. I wasn’t planning to move there for another 2-3 years, but it just so happened that I ended up moving back just 4 months after we broke up. As soon as I settled in, my ex reached out to me telling me that she heard I moved back to this country. We talked for a bit and we ended up meeting up so we could catch up with each other. She picked me up and we went for a drive, with no expectations to rekindle anything, just to have fun together. And we actually had an amazing time. A short drive turned into a whole day spent with her. We talked, we laughed, and I felt the same chemistry and spark that I felt when we first met. We hung out the next day, and the next day, then on the 4th day, she ended up telling me that she realized she still has feelings for me and wants to get back together. This time, it would be different because we are actually in the same country, there’s no more long distance.
I told her I needed to think about it, and now I’m here typing this. I don’t know if I should take her back or not, mainly because of the things she said to me during the break up. Yes, distance may have played a role in her losing feelings, and I give her the benefit of the doubt. But I can’t forget the things she said to me when she snapped. She told me HERSELF that she just didn’t love me, and that the distance wouldn’t have mattered with the right person. She made the decision to completely give up on me. She moved on so quickly and was completely fine without me in her life. When she broke up she had it in her mind that she wanted to find someone better. How can I forgive that? I tell myself, all of this happened because we could never be close, we never got to start the relationship the proper way. But I also tell myself, if she was the right person, would she have given up on me? I know that “the one” isn’t some magical feeling you only get with one person, and that circumstances sometimes cause relationships to not work out. But even under all these circumstances, maybe the right person would’ve stayed? Maybe the right person would’ve felt comfortable with me on the trip. I mean, a lot of you guys in this sub were nevermets, and there’s so many cases of people never meeting for years, and they still end up working out. Just because we now have a chance to be together now in close proximity, does that mean I should do it? Do I want someone that would only decide to love me if I am close to them? I don’t know if I am being reasonable by questioning these things. Maybe she is the right person but circumstances actually couldn’t let us be together until now. I can’t tell if I should say no because I should find someone that would stick with me through anything, I don’t even know if that person exists. I don’t know if anyone would be able to handle the relationship we had, so maybe it’s unfair to blame her for giving up on me.
I told her all these things and she gave me a huge apology and said she was wrong. She explained why she felt uncomfortable and why she felt like she lost feelings, and it was basically everything I explained before. But she said now she realized she was wrong and that she is comfortable with me and that she made a huge mistake. She said she confused her feelings and thought that I wasn’t the one when I actually was. I told her that she said she was settling for me. And she said she only said that because I made her mad so she snapped, I kept bothering her so she just wanted to push me away, and that she didn’t actually mean it. Now she wants to take everything back but I don’t know if I can believe her. She said she will do anything to prove to me that she’ll be loyal and that this time she will stay. She also said that she hasn’t dated anyone at all since we broke up, so there was no rebound or cheating involved. It was just because she felt like we wouldn’t work out in the long run.
But now, we’re close together, and we have an opportunity to start over and have a wonderful relationship together, the right way. And we had an amazing time together the last few days, we both have intense feelings for each other. I just don’t know if I should take her back after she gave up on me. Let’s say I did take her back, I would always be worried that she’ll do the same thing again. I would have to trust her again. I understand that the relationship was probably doomed to fail, but I never would’ve given up on her in a million years. Maybe women are wired differently. I honestly still have a lot of love for her, and I still want to be with her. But I don’t want to get hurt again. What do you think? Should I give it a chance or am I better off finding someone new?
TL;DR - I'm (24M) torn about getting back with my ex (22F). We had a long-distance relationship, but she broke up with me due to the distance and said some hurtful things. Now that I've moved back to our home country, we've reconnected, and she wants to try again. While the chemistry is still there, I'm unsure if I can trust her after she gave up on us once. Should I give it another shot or move on?
submitted by NeoIsTheChosen1 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I’ll start with the way we initially got together. We come from the same country ethnically, but I lived my whole life abroad. When I was 17 I met her in my home country while I was visiting for the summer. We only spent one day together at a family gathering, she was a friend of a friend. Well since that day we became good friends and we started texting for years. Eventually I felt romantic interest in her but she declined because she wasn’t interested at the time. This was 6-7 years ago. Since then we didn’t talk as much. Then about 3 years ago during the summer, I was visiting again and we crossed paths again. It had been like 4 years since we last talked. We had a great conversation and it was as if we never stopped talking. We had extremely good chemistry and we both felt a spark. After that I knew she had interest in me, we kept texting and she sent me a really long paragraph about how she caught feelings for me and she regrets rejecting me in the past, and how she would really love it if I gave her another chance to get to know each other romantically. I felt the same way about her so I decided to give it a shot. Keep in mind I only saw her in person that one time, I left back to my country after just two days. But we were both willing to do long distance because we were extremely attracted to each other and we saw a future together.
So our entire relationship was basically long distance, all of it was over the phone. But our relationship escalated very quickly, she told me it happened like it was straight out of a movie. Eventually she was telling me things like I’m the one and she wants to marry me and she’s never been this sure of anything in her entire life. I felt the same way. It was one of those things where “when you know you know”. I had already know her previously and her personality. Anyways, we didn’t really have a plan to close the distance, but we were willing to stick it out until I could move to her. It would’ve taken 2-3 years. But of course we had to meet each other first and date in person. After a whole year of dating, we planned a trip together to Italy so we could finally spend time with each other for the first time. We waited a long time for this moment. I thought the trip went great and that it solidified our relationship, she told me she had a great time and that the chemistry was still there in person.
Well a few months after that trip, which was last January, she broke up with me. She basically said she couldn’t do the distance anymore even though she thought she could. And that she wasn’t able to see me only once a year, and keep saying “one day” without an actual plan. Which is completely understandable, I don’t blame her at all. It was probably doomed to fail because of that. But afterwards, I was so heartbroken by the breakup that I reacted very emotionally. I wrote her a long letter explaining my feelings and how I couldn’t understand why she would give up after all the promises. Now I completely understand, but at the time I didn’t because I was blinded by my own feelings. I kept pushing her and bothering her for more answers, and eventually she snapped at me. She said a lot of things that were hurtful and disrespectful. She said that she was forcing herself to be comfortable with me on the trip, that it wasn’t the type of comfort it should be with the one, she said that the distance wouldn’t have mattered if it was the right person (which contradicts her previous excuse about distance), she also said that she just didn’t love me anymore, and she didn’t want to settle for someone she has to learn to love, she wants to find a love that comes naturally to her. She also said that she might’ve just loved the idea of me because it felt different on the trip. And that if we had a base together, maybe it would’ve worked. But we never got to know each other physically, we got into a committed relationship for a year without ever seeing each other in person.
So basically, her initial reason was the distance, but after she snapped at me she said that it was because she didn’t love me and that I’m not the right person for her. Even though she believed with all her heart that I was the right person during the relationship. So maybe it was a combination of both reasons, I don’t know. Maybe the extreme distance led her to lose feelings and realize I’m not the right guy for her. Anyways, we ended it in January and we went no contact since then. Not a single text. I was extremely heartbroken for months and very hurt at the things she said to me. I couldn’t understand how she moved on so quickly and discarded me from her life. As if I never meant anything to her. We were planning our future together.
I just want to add that now 4 months after the breakup I completely understand her. I understand why she felt uncomfortable with me. We met each other for one day and then spent an entire year talking over the phone and got into a committed relationship. We never had the opportunity to get to know each other physically. In a normal relationship you would spend time together in person and THEN decide to commit. So over the course of a year we built up an idealized version of each other in our heads. When we met on the vacation, physically we were strangers. I’ll admit, I felt a bit uncomfortable too, and it felt a bit weird, but after a few days I did feel comfortable with her. I figured it was normal since we have to get used to each other. But I was willing to look past it because I loved her. And she is definitely the type of woman that needs to spend a long time with someone before feeling comfortable being intimate with them. Also, it was her first serious relationship and she’d never even had her first kiss before. She’s a very reserved and shy girl. Maybe I rushed things by trying to kiss her too soon, I should’ve went way slower and just focused on getting comfortable with each other. On top of all that, we were also in a strange environment that we’ve never been to before (Italy), with a person that is a stranger physically. Yes we talked for an entire year but physically we were strangers. We spent a year in a committed (digital) relationship, so by the time we met, there was all this expectation built up of how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to immediately behave as committed couples do. When in reality, what we probably should’ve done was get to know each other first. we should’ve probably just talked for a year without actually committing, and then decide if we want to be together after we actually meet. But since we both rushed into it, there was a lot of expectation. So overall it completely makes sense that we were uncomfortable because we never had a base to build off of.
Now it’s been about 4 months since the break up with no contact. A turn of events happened in my life and I ended up moving to my country this month, much sooner than I expected, for a work opportunity. It’s the same country where my ex lives. I wasn’t planning to move there for another 2-3 years, but it just so happened that I ended up moving back just 4 months after we broke up. As soon as I settled in, my ex reached out to me telling me that she heard I moved back to this country. We talked for a bit and we ended up meeting up so we could catch up with each other. She picked me up and we went for a drive, with no expectations to rekindle anything, just to have fun together. And we actually had an amazing time. A short drive turned into a whole day spent with her. We talked, we laughed, and I felt the same chemistry and spark that I felt when we first met. We hung out the next day, and the next day, then on the 4th day, she ended up telling me that she realized she still has feelings for me and wants to get back together. This time, it would be different because we are actually in the same country, there’s no more long distance.
I told her I needed to think about it, and now I’m here typing this. I don’t know if I should take her back or not, mainly because of the things she said to me during the break up. Yes, distance may have played a role in her losing feelings, and I give her the benefit of the doubt. But I can’t forget the things she said to me when she snapped. She told me HERSELF that she just didn’t love me, and that the distance wouldn’t have mattered with the right person. She made the decision to completely give up on me. She moved on so quickly and was completely fine without me in her life. When she broke up she had it in her mind that she wanted to find someone better. How can I forgive that? I tell myself, all of this happened because we could never be close, we never got to start the relationship the proper way. But I also tell myself, if she was the right person, would she have given up on me? I know that “the one” isn’t some magical feeling you only get with one person, and that circumstances sometimes cause relationships to not work out. But even under all these circumstances, maybe the right person would’ve stayed? Maybe the right person would’ve felt comfortable with me on the trip. I mean, a lot of you guys in this sub were nevermets, and there’s so many cases of people never meeting for years, and they still end up working out. Just because we now have a chance to be together now in close proximity, does that mean I should do it? Do I want someone that would only decide to love me if I am close to them? I don’t know if I am being reasonable by questioning these things. Maybe she is the right person but circumstances actually couldn’t let us be together until now. I can’t tell if I should say no because I should find someone that would stick with me through anything, I don’t even know if that person exists. I don’t know if anyone would be able to handle the relationship we had, so maybe it’s unfair to blame her for giving up on me.
I told her all these things and she gave me a huge apology and said she was wrong. She explained why she felt uncomfortable and why she felt like she lost feelings, and it was basically everything I explained before. But she said now she realized she was wrong and that she is comfortable with me and that she made a huge mistake. She said she confused her feelings and thought that I wasn’t the one when I actually was. I told her that she said she was settling for me. And she said she only said that because I made her mad so she snapped, I kept bothering her so she just wanted to push me away, and that she didn’t actually mean it. Now she wants to take everything back but I don’t know if I can believe her. She said she will do anything to prove to me that she’ll be loyal and that this time she will stay. She also said that she hasn’t dated anyone at all since we broke up, so there was no rebound or cheating involved. It was just because she felt like we wouldn’t work out in the long run.
But now, we’re close together, and we have an opportunity to start over and have a wonderful relationship together, the right way. And we had an amazing time together the last few days, we both have intense feelings for each other. I just don’t know if I should take her back after she gave up on me. Let’s say I did take her back, I would always be worried that she’ll do the same thing again. I would have to trust her again. I understand that the relationship was probably doomed to fail, but I never would’ve given up on her in a million years. Maybe women are wired differently. I honestly still have a lot of love for her, and I still want to be with her. But I don’t want to get hurt again. What do you think? Should I give it a chance or am I better off finding someone new?
TL;DR - I'm (24M) torn about getting back with my ex (22F). We had a long-distance relationship, but she broke up with me due to the distance and said some hurtful things. Now that I've moved back to our home country, we've reconnected, and she wants to try again. While the chemistry is still there, I'm unsure if I can trust her after she gave up on us once. Should I give it another shot or move on?
2024.06.04 22:44 is_reddit_useful What are your thoughts on music?
I had a challenging month. Basically, I tried to get better, and found out that what I saw as problems that I need to change are actually coping mechanisms I seem to need. In terms of IFS it is like understanding my protectors better, but I couldn't simply talk to them and only found out the purpose of some behaviours by trying to stop them.
Suddenly I got back into the Evita movie soundtrack, and found a connection to happiness that seemed otherwise inaccessible. There is also plenty of sadness in the music, but it is an appealing kind of sadness, because it feels like an acceptable safe sadness where I can allow myself to feel some intensity, not like more personal sadness that seems horrible.
The Evita movie came out just before my mother had her first terrible prolonged crisis. I was very into the soundtrack that year, even singing it. In retrospect, I guess that was part of how I kept feelings regarding events with my mother suppressed.
This time my interest in the music started suddenly with a dream, involving part of the song "You Must Love Me". Now I see how the way I listen to music involves dissociation. I focus on some emotional structure in the music, and separate myself from my usual emotional state. I don't think that music actually creates a particular emotional experience. It seems more like a trigger, something that brings certain emotions that are already inside me to the surface.
I seem to have used music as an escape from a young age, even humming songs while alone in the schoolyard during elementary school, trying to stay away from bullies. Only started listening to music on my own much later, in university, when I found a radio station playing music I liked.
I sometimes question whether the associated dissociation is harmful, and one of the things keeping me stuck. I guess music isn't bad. Only extreme religious fundamentalists seem to seriously condemn music. Though maybe I need to select music more wisely. I wish I understood more about its effects, like why the Evita soundtrack unlocked something that seemed otherwise inaccessible. Music seems to provide a way past some of the blockages created by trauma.
submitted by is_reddit_useful to CPTSD_NSCommunity [link] [comments]
Suddenly I got back into the Evita movie soundtrack, and found a connection to happiness that seemed otherwise inaccessible. There is also plenty of sadness in the music, but it is an appealing kind of sadness, because it feels like an acceptable safe sadness where I can allow myself to feel some intensity, not like more personal sadness that seems horrible.
The Evita movie came out just before my mother had her first terrible prolonged crisis. I was very into the soundtrack that year, even singing it. In retrospect, I guess that was part of how I kept feelings regarding events with my mother suppressed.
This time my interest in the music started suddenly with a dream, involving part of the song "You Must Love Me". Now I see how the way I listen to music involves dissociation. I focus on some emotional structure in the music, and separate myself from my usual emotional state. I don't think that music actually creates a particular emotional experience. It seems more like a trigger, something that brings certain emotions that are already inside me to the surface.
I seem to have used music as an escape from a young age, even humming songs while alone in the schoolyard during elementary school, trying to stay away from bullies. Only started listening to music on my own much later, in university, when I found a radio station playing music I liked.
I sometimes question whether the associated dissociation is harmful, and one of the things keeping me stuck. I guess music isn't bad. Only extreme religious fundamentalists seem to seriously condemn music. Though maybe I need to select music more wisely. I wish I understood more about its effects, like why the Evita soundtrack unlocked something that seemed otherwise inaccessible. Music seems to provide a way past some of the blockages created by trauma.
2024.06.04 22:44 NeoIsTheChosen1 I don’t know if I should take back my ex-girlfriend or not. We were long distance but now we’re close. What should I do?
I’m at a crossroads right now, my head is telling me no but my heart is telling me yes. The story is a bit complicated so I will do my best to explain our relationship so you can understand the full picture.
I’ll start with the way we initially got together. We come from the same country ethnically, but I lived my whole life abroad. When I was 17 I met her in my home country while I was visiting for the summer. We only spent one day together at a family gathering, she was a friend of a friend. Well since that day we became good friends and we started texting for years. Eventually I felt romantic interest in her but she declined because she wasn’t interested at the time. This was 6-7 years ago. Since then we didn’t talk as much. Then about 3 years ago during the summer, I was visiting again and we crossed paths again. It had been like 4 years since we last talked. We had a great conversation and it was as if we never stopped talking. We had extremely good chemistry and we both felt a spark. After that I knew she had interest in me, we kept texting and she sent me a really long paragraph about how she caught feelings for me and she regrets rejecting me in the past, and how she would really love it if I gave her another chance to get to know each other romantically. I felt the same way about her so I decided to give it a shot. Keep in mind I only saw her in person that one time, I left back to my country after just two days. But we were both willing to do long distance because we were extremely attracted to each other and we saw a future together.
So our entire relationship was basically long distance, all of it was over the phone. But our relationship escalated very quickly, she told me it happened like it was straight out of a movie. Eventually she was telling me things like I’m the one and she wants to marry me and she’s never been this sure of anything in her entire life. I felt the same way. It was one of those things where “when you know you know”. I had already know her previously and her personality. Anyways, we didn’t really have a plan to close the distance, but we were willing to stick it out until I could move to her. It would’ve taken 2-3 years. But of course we had to meet each other first and date in person. After a whole year of dating, we planned a trip together to Italy so we could finally spend time with each other for the first time. We waited a long time for this moment. I thought the trip went great and that it solidified our relationship, she told me she had a great time and that the chemistry was still there in person.
Well a few months after that trip, which was last January, she broke up with me. She basically said she couldn’t do the distance anymore even though she thought she could. And that she wasn’t able to see me only once a year, and keep saying “one day” without an actual plan. Which is completely understandable, I don’t blame her at all. It was probably doomed to fail because of that. But afterwards, I was so heartbroken by the breakup that I reacted very emotionally. I wrote her a long letter explaining my feelings and how I couldn’t understand why she would give up after all the promises. Now I completely understand, but at the time I didn’t because I was blinded by my own feelings. I kept pushing her and bothering her for more answers, and eventually she snapped at me. She said a lot of things that were hurtful and disrespectful. She said that she was forcing herself to be comfortable with me on the trip, that it wasn’t the type of comfort it should be with the one, she said that the distance wouldn’t have mattered if it was the right person (which contradicts her previous excuse about distance), she also said that she just didn’t love me anymore, and she didn’t want to settle for someone she has to learn to love, she wants to find a love that comes naturally to her. She also said that she might’ve just loved the idea of me because it felt different on the trip. And that if we had a base together, maybe it would’ve worked. But we never got to know each other physically, we got into a committed relationship for a year without ever seeing each other in person.
So basically, her initial reason was the distance, but after she snapped at me she said that it was because she didn’t love me and that I’m not the right person for her. Even though she believed with all her heart that I was the right person during the relationship. So maybe it was a combination of both reasons, I don’t know. Maybe the extreme distance led her to lose feelings and realize I’m not the right guy for her. Anyways, we ended it in January and we went no contact since then. Not a single text. I was extremely heartbroken for months and very hurt at the things she said to me. I couldn’t understand how she moved on so quickly and discarded me from her life. As if I never meant anything to her. We were planning our future together.
I just want to add that now 4 months after the breakup I completely understand her. I understand why she felt uncomfortable with me. We met each other for one day and then spent an entire year talking over the phone and got into a committed relationship. We never had the opportunity to get to know each other physically. In a normal relationship you would spend time together in person and THEN decide to commit. So over the course of a year we built up an idealized version of each other in our heads. When we met on the vacation, physically we were strangers. I’ll admit, I felt a bit uncomfortable too, and it felt a bit weird, but after a few days I did feel comfortable with her. I figured it was normal since we have to get used to each other. But I was willing to look past it because I loved her. And she is definitely the type of woman that needs to spend a long time with someone before feeling comfortable being intimate with them. Also, it was her first serious relationship and she’d never even had her first kiss before. She’s a very reserved and shy girl. Maybe I rushed things by trying to kiss her too soon, I should’ve went way slower and just focused on getting comfortable with each other. On top of all that, we were also in a strange environment that we’ve never been to before (Italy), with a person that is a stranger physically. Yes we talked for an entire year but physically we were strangers. We spent a year in a committed (digital) relationship, so by the time we met, there was all this expectation built up of how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to immediately behave as committed couples do. When in reality, what we probably should’ve done was get to know each other first. we should’ve probably just talked for a year without actually committing, and then decide if we want to be together after we actually meet. But since we both rushed into it, there was a lot of expectation. So overall it completely makes sense that we were uncomfortable because we never had a base to build off of.
Now it’s been about 4 months since the break up with no contact. A turn of events happened in my life and I ended up moving to my country this month, much sooner than I expected, for a work opportunity. It’s the same country where my ex lives. I wasn’t planning to move there for another 2-3 years, but it just so happened that I ended up moving back just 4 months after we broke up. As soon as I settled in, my ex reached out to me telling me that she heard I moved back to this country. We talked for a bit and we ended up meeting up so we could catch up with each other. She picked me up and we went for a drive, with no expectations to rekindle anything, just to have fun together. And we actually had an amazing time. A short drive turned into a whole day spent with her. We talked, we laughed, and I felt the same chemistry and spark that I felt when we first met. We hung out the next day, and the next day, then on the 4th day, she ended up telling me that she realized she still has feelings for me and wants to get back together. This time, it would be different because we are actually in the same country, there’s no more long distance.
I told her I needed to think about it, and now I’m here typing this. I don’t know if I should take her back or not, mainly because of the things she said to me during the break up. Yes, distance may have played a role in her losing feelings, and I give her the benefit of the doubt. But I can’t forget the things she said to me when she snapped. She told me HERSELF that she just didn’t love me, and that the distance wouldn’t have mattered with the right person. She made the decision to completely give up on me. She moved on so quickly and was completely fine without me in her life. When she broke up she had it in her mind that she wanted to find someone better. How can I forgive that? I tell myself, all of this happened because we could never be close, we never got to start the relationship the proper way. But I also tell myself, if she was the right person, would she have given up on me? I know that “the one” isn’t some magical feeling you only get with one person, and that circumstances sometimes cause relationships to not work out. But even under all these circumstances, maybe the right person would’ve stayed? Maybe the right person would’ve felt comfortable with me on the trip. I mean, a lot of you guys in this sub were nevermets, and there’s so many cases of people never meeting for years, and they still end up working out. Just because we now have a chance to be together now in close proximity, does that mean I should do it? Do I want someone that would only decide to love me if I am close to them? I don’t know if I am being reasonable by questioning these things. Maybe she is the right person but circumstances actually couldn’t let us be together until now. I can’t tell if I should say no because I should find someone that would stick with me through anything, I don’t even know if that person exists. I don’t know if anyone would be able to handle the relationship we had, so maybe it’s unfair to blame her for giving up on me.
I told her all these things and she gave me a huge apology and said she was wrong. She explained why she felt uncomfortable and why she felt like she lost feelings, and it was basically everything I explained before. But she said now she realized she was wrong and that she is comfortable with me and that she made a huge mistake. She said she confused her feelings and thought that I wasn’t the one when I actually was. I told her that she said she was settling for me. And she said she only said that because I made her mad so she snapped, I kept bothering her so she just wanted to push me away, and that she didn’t actually mean it. Now she wants to take everything back but I don’t know if I can believe her. She said she will do anything to prove to me that she’ll be loyal and that this time she will stay. She also said that she hasn’t dated anyone at all since we broke up, so there was no rebound or cheating involved. It was just because she felt like we wouldn’t work out in the long run.
But now, we’re close together, and we have an opportunity to start over and have a wonderful relationship together, the right way. And we had an amazing time together the last few days, we both have intense feelings for each other. I just don’t know if I should take her back after she gave up on me. Let’s say I did take her back, I would always be worried that she’ll do the same thing again. I would have to trust her again. I understand that the relationship was probably doomed to fail, but I never would’ve given up on her in a million years. Maybe women are wired differently. I honestly still have a lot of love for her, and I still want to be with her. But I don’t want to get hurt again. What do you think? Should I give it a chance or am I better off finding someone new?
TL;DR - I'm (24M) torn about getting back with my ex (22F). We had a long-distance relationship, but she broke up with me due to the distance and said some hurtful things. Now that I've moved back to our home country, we've reconnected, and she wants to try again. While the chemistry is still there, I'm unsure if I can trust her after she gave up on us once. Should I give it another shot or move on?
submitted by NeoIsTheChosen1 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
I’ll start with the way we initially got together. We come from the same country ethnically, but I lived my whole life abroad. When I was 17 I met her in my home country while I was visiting for the summer. We only spent one day together at a family gathering, she was a friend of a friend. Well since that day we became good friends and we started texting for years. Eventually I felt romantic interest in her but she declined because she wasn’t interested at the time. This was 6-7 years ago. Since then we didn’t talk as much. Then about 3 years ago during the summer, I was visiting again and we crossed paths again. It had been like 4 years since we last talked. We had a great conversation and it was as if we never stopped talking. We had extremely good chemistry and we both felt a spark. After that I knew she had interest in me, we kept texting and she sent me a really long paragraph about how she caught feelings for me and she regrets rejecting me in the past, and how she would really love it if I gave her another chance to get to know each other romantically. I felt the same way about her so I decided to give it a shot. Keep in mind I only saw her in person that one time, I left back to my country after just two days. But we were both willing to do long distance because we were extremely attracted to each other and we saw a future together.
So our entire relationship was basically long distance, all of it was over the phone. But our relationship escalated very quickly, she told me it happened like it was straight out of a movie. Eventually she was telling me things like I’m the one and she wants to marry me and she’s never been this sure of anything in her entire life. I felt the same way. It was one of those things where “when you know you know”. I had already know her previously and her personality. Anyways, we didn’t really have a plan to close the distance, but we were willing to stick it out until I could move to her. It would’ve taken 2-3 years. But of course we had to meet each other first and date in person. After a whole year of dating, we planned a trip together to Italy so we could finally spend time with each other for the first time. We waited a long time for this moment. I thought the trip went great and that it solidified our relationship, she told me she had a great time and that the chemistry was still there in person.
Well a few months after that trip, which was last January, she broke up with me. She basically said she couldn’t do the distance anymore even though she thought she could. And that she wasn’t able to see me only once a year, and keep saying “one day” without an actual plan. Which is completely understandable, I don’t blame her at all. It was probably doomed to fail because of that. But afterwards, I was so heartbroken by the breakup that I reacted very emotionally. I wrote her a long letter explaining my feelings and how I couldn’t understand why she would give up after all the promises. Now I completely understand, but at the time I didn’t because I was blinded by my own feelings. I kept pushing her and bothering her for more answers, and eventually she snapped at me. She said a lot of things that were hurtful and disrespectful. She said that she was forcing herself to be comfortable with me on the trip, that it wasn’t the type of comfort it should be with the one, she said that the distance wouldn’t have mattered if it was the right person (which contradicts her previous excuse about distance), she also said that she just didn’t love me anymore, and she didn’t want to settle for someone she has to learn to love, she wants to find a love that comes naturally to her. She also said that she might’ve just loved the idea of me because it felt different on the trip. And that if we had a base together, maybe it would’ve worked. But we never got to know each other physically, we got into a committed relationship for a year without ever seeing each other in person.
So basically, her initial reason was the distance, but after she snapped at me she said that it was because she didn’t love me and that I’m not the right person for her. Even though she believed with all her heart that I was the right person during the relationship. So maybe it was a combination of both reasons, I don’t know. Maybe the extreme distance led her to lose feelings and realize I’m not the right guy for her. Anyways, we ended it in January and we went no contact since then. Not a single text. I was extremely heartbroken for months and very hurt at the things she said to me. I couldn’t understand how she moved on so quickly and discarded me from her life. As if I never meant anything to her. We were planning our future together.
I just want to add that now 4 months after the breakup I completely understand her. I understand why she felt uncomfortable with me. We met each other for one day and then spent an entire year talking over the phone and got into a committed relationship. We never had the opportunity to get to know each other physically. In a normal relationship you would spend time together in person and THEN decide to commit. So over the course of a year we built up an idealized version of each other in our heads. When we met on the vacation, physically we were strangers. I’ll admit, I felt a bit uncomfortable too, and it felt a bit weird, but after a few days I did feel comfortable with her. I figured it was normal since we have to get used to each other. But I was willing to look past it because I loved her. And she is definitely the type of woman that needs to spend a long time with someone before feeling comfortable being intimate with them. Also, it was her first serious relationship and she’d never even had her first kiss before. She’s a very reserved and shy girl. Maybe I rushed things by trying to kiss her too soon, I should’ve went way slower and just focused on getting comfortable with each other. On top of all that, we were also in a strange environment that we’ve never been to before (Italy), with a person that is a stranger physically. Yes we talked for an entire year but physically we were strangers. We spent a year in a committed (digital) relationship, so by the time we met, there was all this expectation built up of how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to immediately behave as committed couples do. When in reality, what we probably should’ve done was get to know each other first. we should’ve probably just talked for a year without actually committing, and then decide if we want to be together after we actually meet. But since we both rushed into it, there was a lot of expectation. So overall it completely makes sense that we were uncomfortable because we never had a base to build off of.
Now it’s been about 4 months since the break up with no contact. A turn of events happened in my life and I ended up moving to my country this month, much sooner than I expected, for a work opportunity. It’s the same country where my ex lives. I wasn’t planning to move there for another 2-3 years, but it just so happened that I ended up moving back just 4 months after we broke up. As soon as I settled in, my ex reached out to me telling me that she heard I moved back to this country. We talked for a bit and we ended up meeting up so we could catch up with each other. She picked me up and we went for a drive, with no expectations to rekindle anything, just to have fun together. And we actually had an amazing time. A short drive turned into a whole day spent with her. We talked, we laughed, and I felt the same chemistry and spark that I felt when we first met. We hung out the next day, and the next day, then on the 4th day, she ended up telling me that she realized she still has feelings for me and wants to get back together. This time, it would be different because we are actually in the same country, there’s no more long distance.
I told her I needed to think about it, and now I’m here typing this. I don’t know if I should take her back or not, mainly because of the things she said to me during the break up. Yes, distance may have played a role in her losing feelings, and I give her the benefit of the doubt. But I can’t forget the things she said to me when she snapped. She told me HERSELF that she just didn’t love me, and that the distance wouldn’t have mattered with the right person. She made the decision to completely give up on me. She moved on so quickly and was completely fine without me in her life. When she broke up she had it in her mind that she wanted to find someone better. How can I forgive that? I tell myself, all of this happened because we could never be close, we never got to start the relationship the proper way. But I also tell myself, if she was the right person, would she have given up on me? I know that “the one” isn’t some magical feeling you only get with one person, and that circumstances sometimes cause relationships to not work out. But even under all these circumstances, maybe the right person would’ve stayed? Maybe the right person would’ve felt comfortable with me on the trip. I mean, a lot of you guys in this sub were nevermets, and there’s so many cases of people never meeting for years, and they still end up working out. Just because we now have a chance to be together now in close proximity, does that mean I should do it? Do I want someone that would only decide to love me if I am close to them? I don’t know if I am being reasonable by questioning these things. Maybe she is the right person but circumstances actually couldn’t let us be together until now. I can’t tell if I should say no because I should find someone that would stick with me through anything, I don’t even know if that person exists. I don’t know if anyone would be able to handle the relationship we had, so maybe it’s unfair to blame her for giving up on me.
I told her all these things and she gave me a huge apology and said she was wrong. She explained why she felt uncomfortable and why she felt like she lost feelings, and it was basically everything I explained before. But she said now she realized she was wrong and that she is comfortable with me and that she made a huge mistake. She said she confused her feelings and thought that I wasn’t the one when I actually was. I told her that she said she was settling for me. And she said she only said that because I made her mad so she snapped, I kept bothering her so she just wanted to push me away, and that she didn’t actually mean it. Now she wants to take everything back but I don’t know if I can believe her. She said she will do anything to prove to me that she’ll be loyal and that this time she will stay. She also said that she hasn’t dated anyone at all since we broke up, so there was no rebound or cheating involved. It was just because she felt like we wouldn’t work out in the long run.
But now, we’re close together, and we have an opportunity to start over and have a wonderful relationship together, the right way. And we had an amazing time together the last few days, we both have intense feelings for each other. I just don’t know if I should take her back after she gave up on me. Let’s say I did take her back, I would always be worried that she’ll do the same thing again. I would have to trust her again. I understand that the relationship was probably doomed to fail, but I never would’ve given up on her in a million years. Maybe women are wired differently. I honestly still have a lot of love for her, and I still want to be with her. But I don’t want to get hurt again. What do you think? Should I give it a chance or am I better off finding someone new?
TL;DR - I'm (24M) torn about getting back with my ex (22F). We had a long-distance relationship, but she broke up with me due to the distance and said some hurtful things. Now that I've moved back to our home country, we've reconnected, and she wants to try again. While the chemistry is still there, I'm unsure if I can trust her after she gave up on us once. Should I give it another shot or move on?
2024.06.04 22:44 ThatBroadcasterGuy I want out of my parent's house NOW!!!!
To get the basic infos out of the way, I'm 30(M) and am a high-functioning autistic. I've never had a job and didn't go to college, more on that in a bit. Currently I spend my days mostly gaming and surfing the interwebs. With all that out of the way, let's get to the story/rant.
It all started towards the end of high school when I expressed interest in attending college to get my engineering degree, at the same college that my sister (who is NT (nuerotypical) as far as I can tell) was attending at the time. You'd think that my parents would have been happy with that, but no, they insisted on following me to college! No amount of arguing or logic would make them change their mind, so I gave up on college altogether. Since then, my life has been inextricably tied to theirs no matter how hard I've tried.
During high school I applied for a job at the local grocery store for the summer. However, the incompetent idiots didn't give me a call back until I had graduated from high school and the summer had passed and we had moved away, meaning I couldn't work there.
So, instead of going to college, after high school I attended a one-year broadcasting school (thus my username) in hope of getting a career as a radio DJ. Upon completing that, things seemed to be looking up. However, my dad had gotten a job a few states away and I had to move with them, away from where any potential jobs were. The school I attended had job-placement services, but they couldn't help me there. And all the radio jobs I looked at required experience that I obviously didn't have. I would have gladly taken a board op job, but those required experience as well. After a few years I decided that pursuit was as good as dead. What a failure!
After that effort went belly up, I decided to bite the bullet and try for a regular job. I applied to a fast food place fairly close to where we lived. I managed to get an interview, the first (and so far only) real one I've had. It went fairly well, but just like the grocery store a few years before that they never called me back. So that venture was a failure as well. On a more positive note, during the time that we lived there, I got my driver's license, but that hasn't help me one bit.
We moved back to the city we lived in when I attended the broadcasting school just as the pandemic hit. We were still living there until last year. During last year, I decided I wanted to get involved in theatre again after not having done so since high school. I was hoping that by doing so I could use that experience to get a job presenting a museum nearby that a family relation is also a presenter at. Whether this was a good idea or not is anyone's guess, but it seemed fairly solid to me. I had just made plans to audition at a community theater nearby when dad once again got a job several states away. This time I decided I wasn't going to get pushed around. I pleaded and cried to stay, but it was no good. They have a way of breaking down whatever armor I put up and getting me to do what they want me to do. So once again, against all my wishes, I had to move with them. I'm now living in a rural area where there is no community theater and no museums!
So, here I am living like a child, all because my parent's didn't trust me enough to go to college by myself. In fact, I still don't think they trust me to do anything. I can't so much as jump with them knowing about it. I have to answer to them about seemingly everything. I have no autonomy, and when I try to get some they always find some reason not to give it to me. Last year, I wanted to attend my 10-year high school reunion. Once again, they tried to talk me out of it, but I did end up going. Unfortunately, that meant my mom drove me most of the way there and back.
I get so unbelievably angry thinking about what could have been if my parents had trusted me more. I'm beyond sick and tired of living like this. There's got to be a way out. I want my parents to give me more space and get off my back and out of my business. Someone help me, PLEASE!!!
submitted by ThatBroadcasterGuy to failuretolaunch [link] [comments]
It all started towards the end of high school when I expressed interest in attending college to get my engineering degree, at the same college that my sister (who is NT (nuerotypical) as far as I can tell) was attending at the time. You'd think that my parents would have been happy with that, but no, they insisted on following me to college! No amount of arguing or logic would make them change their mind, so I gave up on college altogether. Since then, my life has been inextricably tied to theirs no matter how hard I've tried.
During high school I applied for a job at the local grocery store for the summer. However, the incompetent idiots didn't give me a call back until I had graduated from high school and the summer had passed and we had moved away, meaning I couldn't work there.
So, instead of going to college, after high school I attended a one-year broadcasting school (thus my username) in hope of getting a career as a radio DJ. Upon completing that, things seemed to be looking up. However, my dad had gotten a job a few states away and I had to move with them, away from where any potential jobs were. The school I attended had job-placement services, but they couldn't help me there. And all the radio jobs I looked at required experience that I obviously didn't have. I would have gladly taken a board op job, but those required experience as well. After a few years I decided that pursuit was as good as dead. What a failure!
After that effort went belly up, I decided to bite the bullet and try for a regular job. I applied to a fast food place fairly close to where we lived. I managed to get an interview, the first (and so far only) real one I've had. It went fairly well, but just like the grocery store a few years before that they never called me back. So that venture was a failure as well. On a more positive note, during the time that we lived there, I got my driver's license, but that hasn't help me one bit.
We moved back to the city we lived in when I attended the broadcasting school just as the pandemic hit. We were still living there until last year. During last year, I decided I wanted to get involved in theatre again after not having done so since high school. I was hoping that by doing so I could use that experience to get a job presenting a museum nearby that a family relation is also a presenter at. Whether this was a good idea or not is anyone's guess, but it seemed fairly solid to me. I had just made plans to audition at a community theater nearby when dad once again got a job several states away. This time I decided I wasn't going to get pushed around. I pleaded and cried to stay, but it was no good. They have a way of breaking down whatever armor I put up and getting me to do what they want me to do. So once again, against all my wishes, I had to move with them. I'm now living in a rural area where there is no community theater and no museums!
So, here I am living like a child, all because my parent's didn't trust me enough to go to college by myself. In fact, I still don't think they trust me to do anything. I can't so much as jump with them knowing about it. I have to answer to them about seemingly everything. I have no autonomy, and when I try to get some they always find some reason not to give it to me. Last year, I wanted to attend my 10-year high school reunion. Once again, they tried to talk me out of it, but I did end up going. Unfortunately, that meant my mom drove me most of the way there and back.
I get so unbelievably angry thinking about what could have been if my parents had trusted me more. I'm beyond sick and tired of living like this. There's got to be a way out. I want my parents to give me more space and get off my back and out of my business. Someone help me, PLEASE!!!
2024.06.04 22:44 perishingtardis Philosopher's Stone is the best film, and here's why.
For the longest time I've believed that Chamber of Secrets is the best film, but I've recently changed my mind and now think it's the first one.
submitted by perishingtardis to harrypotter [link] [comments]
- Faithfulness to the book. (This also applies to CoS.) It's understandable that as the books got longer, the later films would have to cut things out. But faithfulness to the books is a good thing while it was possible, and that's a point in favour of the first film.
- Sense of wonder. The visuals are a treat. The first time seeing Diagon Alley. The silhouette of Hogwarts. The moving staircases.
- John Williams' score. "Leaving Hogwarts". CoS reuses a lot of the themes with only a few new cues (due to Williams' scheduling conflicts). PoA score is also by Williams and is excellent in its own right, but is so different from what came before that it feels like it belongs to a different franchise. This was due to Alfonso Cuaron's specific instructions to John Williams to abandon his previous cues, as I showed in a post a couple of days ago.
- Genuine stakes in a self-contained story. And this one actually goes back to the source material. In book 1 there are genuine stakes - if Voldemort gets the Stone then he will come back to power. Likewise in book 2. However, book 3 has no particularly high stakes apart from a serial killer who's apparently trying to kill Harry - except that he isn't, so there were never any stakes all along. Book 5 similarly has low stakes as the prophecy is just a piece of information that doesn't really change much we already knew. Book 6 raises the stakes with the discovery of horcruxes and hunting down the locket, but ultimately it's not a complete story as things are really just being set up for the final book.
- A director who understood the books. Cuaron is very talented but more interested in making a visual feast and changing things for the sake of changing them, rather than making a Harry Potter film. Newell is serviceable, but less talented than Columbus or Cuaron and allowed too much straying from the source material (psycho Dumbledore, not even a glimpse of gameplay at the Qudditch World Cup despite having all the build up before it, the third task features no obstacles?!). As for Yates, the less said the better really ... inexperienced, doesn't actually know how to photograph a shot properly (what's with all the wide-angle group shots?), and I can't see anything because it's so dark.
- Richard Harris.
- So far, most of what's above applies to CoS too. But here's what makes PS better. Harry's journey from the abused, unloved boy in the cupboard to the boy who found his family. It's only as an adult when I now look at Harry's life before he got his letter than I begin to appreciate just how miserable it must have been. No parents, no love, outright abuse. The book doesn't dwell on the abuse too much but it's clearly there. We feel such joy for Harry when he gets to Hogwarts. Things are suddenly so happy. But we reach the Mirror of Erised and are poignantly reminded of how Harry is different to his friends - his family are gone, he can never know them, and he slips into longing wistfully for something that can never be. How many of us would look in the Mirror of Erised and like Harry long for a relationship that can never be or mourn regrets than can never be fixed? Dumbledore teaches Harry about the dangers of the Mirror, and we feel Harry's pain as he has to learnt to let go. Then when Harry encounters the mirror again, he sees his parents again and Voldemort offers him the chance to bring them back. At this point in the Harry Potter saga neither Harry nor we the audience yet know that resurrecting the dead is not possible even with magic, so we are tempted to believe Voldemort might be telling the truth. But Harry recognizes that Voldemort is evil and sets aside his own desires (symbolized by his parents fading out of the mirror) in order to thwart evil. At the end of the film when Harry is boarding the train, he finally realizes that he has found a home and family in his friends at Hogwarts. The film is a complete story of how Harry does find true family in a way he could never have imagined. By the time we get to CoS this is already resolved and CoS is just a plot/mystery thriller, minus the theme about family.
- CoS is about 10 minutes too long.
2024.06.04 22:43 NeoIsTheChosen1 I don’t know if I should take back my ex-girlfriend or not. We were long distance but now we’re close. What should I do?
I’m at a crossroads right now, my head is telling me no but my heart is telling me yes. The story is a bit complicated so I will do my best to explain our relationship so you can understand the full picture.
I’ll start with the way we initially got together. We come from the same country ethnically, but I lived my whole life abroad. When I was 17 I met her in my home country while I was visiting for the summer. We only spent one day together at a family gathering, she was a friend of a friend. Well since that day we became good friends and we started texting for years. Eventually I felt romantic interest in her but she declined because she wasn’t interested at the time. This was 6-7 years ago. Since then we didn’t talk as much. Then about 3 years ago during the summer, I was visiting again and we crossed paths again. It had been like 4 years since we last talked. We had a great conversation and it was as if we never stopped talking. We had extremely good chemistry and we both felt a spark. After that I knew she had interest in me, we kept texting and she sent me a really long paragraph about how she caught feelings for me and she regrets rejecting me in the past, and how she would really love it if I gave her another chance to get to know each other romantically. I felt the same way about her so I decided to give it a shot. Keep in mind I only saw her in person that one time, I left back to my country after just two days. But we were both willing to do long distance because we were extremely attracted to each other and we saw a future together.
So our entire relationship was basically long distance, all of it was over the phone. But our relationship escalated very quickly, she told me it happened like it was straight out of a movie. Eventually she was telling me things like I’m the one and she wants to marry me and she’s never been this sure of anything in her entire life. I felt the same way. It was one of those things where “when you know you know”. I had already know her previously and her personality. Anyways, we didn’t really have a plan to close the distance, but we were willing to stick it out until I could move to her. It would’ve taken 2-3 years. But of course we had to meet each other first and date in person. After a whole year of dating, we planned a trip together to Italy so we could finally spend time with each other for the first time. We waited a long time for this moment. I thought the trip went great and that it solidified our relationship, she told me she had a great time and that the chemistry was still there in person.
Well a few months after that trip, which was last January, she broke up with me. She basically said she couldn’t do the distance anymore even though she thought she could. And that she wasn’t able to see me only once a year, and keep saying “one day” without an actual plan. Which is completely understandable, I don’t blame her at all. It was probably doomed to fail because of that. But afterwards, I was so heartbroken by the breakup that I reacted very emotionally. I wrote her a long letter explaining my feelings and how I couldn’t understand why she would give up after all the promises. Now I completely understand, but at the time I didn’t because I was blinded by my own feelings. I kept pushing her and bothering her for more answers, and eventually she snapped at me. She said a lot of things that were hurtful and disrespectful. She said that she was forcing herself to be comfortable with me on the trip, that it wasn’t the type of comfort it should be with the one, she said that the distance wouldn’t have mattered if it was the right person (which contradicts her previous excuse about distance), she also said that she just didn’t love me anymore, and she didn’t want to settle for someone she has to learn to love, she wants to find a love that comes naturally to her. She also said that she might’ve just loved the idea of me because it felt different on the trip. And that if we had a base together, maybe it would’ve worked. But we never got to know each other physically, we got into a committed relationship for a year without ever seeing each other in person.
So basically, her initial reason was the distance, but after she snapped at me she said that it was because she didn’t love me and that I’m not the right person for her. Even though she believed with all her heart that I was the right person during the relationship. So maybe it was a combination of both reasons, I don’t know. Maybe the extreme distance led her to lose feelings and realize I’m not the right guy for her. Anyways, we ended it in January and we went no contact since then. Not a single text. I was extremely heartbroken for months and very hurt at the things she said to me. I couldn’t understand how she moved on so quickly and discarded me from her life. As if I never meant anything to her. We were planning our future together.
I just want to add that now 4 months after the breakup I completely understand her. I understand why she felt uncomfortable with me. We met each other for one day and then spent an entire year talking over the phone and got into a committed relationship. We never had the opportunity to get to know each other physically. In a normal relationship you would spend time together in person and THEN decide to commit. So over the course of a year we built up an idealized version of each other in our heads. When we met on the vacation, physically we were strangers. I’ll admit, I felt a bit uncomfortable too, and it felt a bit weird, but after a few days I did feel comfortable with her. I figured it was normal since we have to get used to each other. But I was willing to look past it because I loved her. And she is definitely the type of woman that needs to spend a long time with someone before feeling comfortable being intimate with them. Also, it was her first serious relationship and she’d never even had her first kiss before. She’s a very reserved and shy girl. Maybe I rushed things by trying to kiss her too soon, I should’ve went way slower and just focused on getting comfortable with each other. On top of all that, we were also in a strange environment that we’ve never been to before (Italy), with a person that is a stranger physically. Yes we talked for an entire year but physically we were strangers. We spent a year in a committed (digital) relationship, so by the time we met, there was all this expectation built up of how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to immediately behave as committed couples do. When in reality, what we probably should’ve done was get to know each other first. we should’ve probably just talked for a year without actually committing, and then decide if we want to be together after we actually meet. But since we both rushed into it, there was a lot of expectation. So overall it completely makes sense that we were uncomfortable because we never had a base to build off of.
Now it’s been about 4 months since the break up with no contact. A turn of events happened in my life and I ended up moving to my country this month, much sooner than I expected, for a work opportunity. It’s the same country where my ex lives. I wasn’t planning to move there for another 2-3 years, but it just so happened that I ended up moving back just 4 months after we broke up. As soon as I settled in, my ex reached out to me telling me that she heard I moved back to this country. We talked for a bit and we ended up meeting up so we could catch up with each other. She picked me up and we went for a drive, with no expectations to rekindle anything, just to have fun together. And we actually had an amazing time. A short drive turned into a whole day spent with her. We talked, we laughed, and I felt the same chemistry and spark that I felt when we first met. We hung out the next day, and the next day, then on the 4th day, she ended up telling me that she realized she still has feelings for me and wants to get back together. This time, it would be different because we are actually in the same country, there’s no more long distance.
I told her I needed to think about it, and now I’m here typing this. I don’t know if I should take her back or not, mainly because of the things she said to me during the break up. Yes, distance may have played a role in her losing feelings, and I give her the benefit of the doubt. But I can’t forget the things she said to me when she snapped. She told me HERSELF that she just didn’t love me, and that the distance wouldn’t have mattered with the right person. She made the decision to completely give up on me. She moved on so quickly and was completely fine without me in her life. When she broke up she had it in her mind that she wanted to find someone better. How can I forgive that? I tell myself, all of this happened because we could never be close, we never got to start the relationship the proper way. But I also tell myself, if she was the right person, would she have given up on me? I know that “the one” isn’t some magical feeling you only get with one person, and that circumstances sometimes cause relationships to not work out. But even under all these circumstances, maybe the right person would’ve stayed? Maybe the right person would’ve felt comfortable with me on the trip. I mean, a lot of you guys in this sub were nevermets, and there’s so many cases of people never meeting for years, and they still end up working out. Just because we now have a chance to be together now in close proximity, does that mean I should do it? Do I want someone that would only decide to love me if I am close to them? I don’t know if I am being reasonable by questioning these things. Maybe she is the right person but circumstances actually couldn’t let us be together until now. I can’t tell if I should say no because I should find someone that would stick with me through anything, I don’t even know if that person exists. I don’t know if anyone would be able to handle the relationship we had, so maybe it’s unfair to blame her for giving up on me.
I told her all these things and she gave me a huge apology and said she was wrong. She explained why she felt uncomfortable and why she felt like she lost feelings, and it was basically everything I explained before. But she said now she realized she was wrong and that she is comfortable with me and that she made a huge mistake. She said she confused her feelings and thought that I wasn’t the one when I actually was. I told her that she said she was settling for me. And she said she only said that because I made her mad so she snapped, I kept bothering her so she just wanted to push me away, and that she didn’t actually mean it. Now she wants to take everything back but I don’t know if I can believe her. She said she will do anything to prove to me that she’ll be loyal and that this time she will stay. She also said that she hasn’t dated anyone at all since we broke up, so there was no rebound or cheating involved. It was just because she felt like we wouldn’t work out in the long run.
But now, we’re close together, and we have an opportunity to start over and have a wonderful relationship together, the right way. And we had an amazing time together the last few days, we both have intense feelings for each other. I just don’t know if I should take her back after she gave up on me. Let’s say I did take her back, I would always be worried that she’ll do the same thing again. I would have to trust her again. I understand that the relationship was probably doomed to fail, but I never would’ve given up on her in a million years. Maybe women are wired differently. I honestly still have a lot of love for her, and I still want to be with her. But I don’t want to get hurt again. What do you think? Should I give it a chance or am I better off finding someone new?
TL;DR - I'm (24M) torn about getting back with my ex (22F). We had a long-distance relationship, but she broke up with me due to the distance and said some hurtful things. Now that I've moved back to our home country, we've reconnected, and she wants to try again. While the chemistry is still there, I'm unsure if I can trust her after she gave up on us once. Should I give it another shot or move on?
submitted by NeoIsTheChosen1 to LongDistance [link] [comments]
I’ll start with the way we initially got together. We come from the same country ethnically, but I lived my whole life abroad. When I was 17 I met her in my home country while I was visiting for the summer. We only spent one day together at a family gathering, she was a friend of a friend. Well since that day we became good friends and we started texting for years. Eventually I felt romantic interest in her but she declined because she wasn’t interested at the time. This was 6-7 years ago. Since then we didn’t talk as much. Then about 3 years ago during the summer, I was visiting again and we crossed paths again. It had been like 4 years since we last talked. We had a great conversation and it was as if we never stopped talking. We had extremely good chemistry and we both felt a spark. After that I knew she had interest in me, we kept texting and she sent me a really long paragraph about how she caught feelings for me and she regrets rejecting me in the past, and how she would really love it if I gave her another chance to get to know each other romantically. I felt the same way about her so I decided to give it a shot. Keep in mind I only saw her in person that one time, I left back to my country after just two days. But we were both willing to do long distance because we were extremely attracted to each other and we saw a future together.
So our entire relationship was basically long distance, all of it was over the phone. But our relationship escalated very quickly, she told me it happened like it was straight out of a movie. Eventually she was telling me things like I’m the one and she wants to marry me and she’s never been this sure of anything in her entire life. I felt the same way. It was one of those things where “when you know you know”. I had already know her previously and her personality. Anyways, we didn’t really have a plan to close the distance, but we were willing to stick it out until I could move to her. It would’ve taken 2-3 years. But of course we had to meet each other first and date in person. After a whole year of dating, we planned a trip together to Italy so we could finally spend time with each other for the first time. We waited a long time for this moment. I thought the trip went great and that it solidified our relationship, she told me she had a great time and that the chemistry was still there in person.
Well a few months after that trip, which was last January, she broke up with me. She basically said she couldn’t do the distance anymore even though she thought she could. And that she wasn’t able to see me only once a year, and keep saying “one day” without an actual plan. Which is completely understandable, I don’t blame her at all. It was probably doomed to fail because of that. But afterwards, I was so heartbroken by the breakup that I reacted very emotionally. I wrote her a long letter explaining my feelings and how I couldn’t understand why she would give up after all the promises. Now I completely understand, but at the time I didn’t because I was blinded by my own feelings. I kept pushing her and bothering her for more answers, and eventually she snapped at me. She said a lot of things that were hurtful and disrespectful. She said that she was forcing herself to be comfortable with me on the trip, that it wasn’t the type of comfort it should be with the one, she said that the distance wouldn’t have mattered if it was the right person (which contradicts her previous excuse about distance), she also said that she just didn’t love me anymore, and she didn’t want to settle for someone she has to learn to love, she wants to find a love that comes naturally to her. She also said that she might’ve just loved the idea of me because it felt different on the trip. And that if we had a base together, maybe it would’ve worked. But we never got to know each other physically, we got into a committed relationship for a year without ever seeing each other in person.
So basically, her initial reason was the distance, but after she snapped at me she said that it was because she didn’t love me and that I’m not the right person for her. Even though she believed with all her heart that I was the right person during the relationship. So maybe it was a combination of both reasons, I don’t know. Maybe the extreme distance led her to lose feelings and realize I’m not the right guy for her. Anyways, we ended it in January and we went no contact since then. Not a single text. I was extremely heartbroken for months and very hurt at the things she said to me. I couldn’t understand how she moved on so quickly and discarded me from her life. As if I never meant anything to her. We were planning our future together.
I just want to add that now 4 months after the breakup I completely understand her. I understand why she felt uncomfortable with me. We met each other for one day and then spent an entire year talking over the phone and got into a committed relationship. We never had the opportunity to get to know each other physically. In a normal relationship you would spend time together in person and THEN decide to commit. So over the course of a year we built up an idealized version of each other in our heads. When we met on the vacation, physically we were strangers. I’ll admit, I felt a bit uncomfortable too, and it felt a bit weird, but after a few days I did feel comfortable with her. I figured it was normal since we have to get used to each other. But I was willing to look past it because I loved her. And she is definitely the type of woman that needs to spend a long time with someone before feeling comfortable being intimate with them. Also, it was her first serious relationship and she’d never even had her first kiss before. She’s a very reserved and shy girl. Maybe I rushed things by trying to kiss her too soon, I should’ve went way slower and just focused on getting comfortable with each other. On top of all that, we were also in a strange environment that we’ve never been to before (Italy), with a person that is a stranger physically. Yes we talked for an entire year but physically we were strangers. We spent a year in a committed (digital) relationship, so by the time we met, there was all this expectation built up of how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to immediately behave as committed couples do. When in reality, what we probably should’ve done was get to know each other first. we should’ve probably just talked for a year without actually committing, and then decide if we want to be together after we actually meet. But since we both rushed into it, there was a lot of expectation. So overall it completely makes sense that we were uncomfortable because we never had a base to build off of.
Now it’s been about 4 months since the break up with no contact. A turn of events happened in my life and I ended up moving to my country this month, much sooner than I expected, for a work opportunity. It’s the same country where my ex lives. I wasn’t planning to move there for another 2-3 years, but it just so happened that I ended up moving back just 4 months after we broke up. As soon as I settled in, my ex reached out to me telling me that she heard I moved back to this country. We talked for a bit and we ended up meeting up so we could catch up with each other. She picked me up and we went for a drive, with no expectations to rekindle anything, just to have fun together. And we actually had an amazing time. A short drive turned into a whole day spent with her. We talked, we laughed, and I felt the same chemistry and spark that I felt when we first met. We hung out the next day, and the next day, then on the 4th day, she ended up telling me that she realized she still has feelings for me and wants to get back together. This time, it would be different because we are actually in the same country, there’s no more long distance.
I told her I needed to think about it, and now I’m here typing this. I don’t know if I should take her back or not, mainly because of the things she said to me during the break up. Yes, distance may have played a role in her losing feelings, and I give her the benefit of the doubt. But I can’t forget the things she said to me when she snapped. She told me HERSELF that she just didn’t love me, and that the distance wouldn’t have mattered with the right person. She made the decision to completely give up on me. She moved on so quickly and was completely fine without me in her life. When she broke up she had it in her mind that she wanted to find someone better. How can I forgive that? I tell myself, all of this happened because we could never be close, we never got to start the relationship the proper way. But I also tell myself, if she was the right person, would she have given up on me? I know that “the one” isn’t some magical feeling you only get with one person, and that circumstances sometimes cause relationships to not work out. But even under all these circumstances, maybe the right person would’ve stayed? Maybe the right person would’ve felt comfortable with me on the trip. I mean, a lot of you guys in this sub were nevermets, and there’s so many cases of people never meeting for years, and they still end up working out. Just because we now have a chance to be together now in close proximity, does that mean I should do it? Do I want someone that would only decide to love me if I am close to them? I don’t know if I am being reasonable by questioning these things. Maybe she is the right person but circumstances actually couldn’t let us be together until now. I can’t tell if I should say no because I should find someone that would stick with me through anything, I don’t even know if that person exists. I don’t know if anyone would be able to handle the relationship we had, so maybe it’s unfair to blame her for giving up on me.
I told her all these things and she gave me a huge apology and said she was wrong. She explained why she felt uncomfortable and why she felt like she lost feelings, and it was basically everything I explained before. But she said now she realized she was wrong and that she is comfortable with me and that she made a huge mistake. She said she confused her feelings and thought that I wasn’t the one when I actually was. I told her that she said she was settling for me. And she said she only said that because I made her mad so she snapped, I kept bothering her so she just wanted to push me away, and that she didn’t actually mean it. Now she wants to take everything back but I don’t know if I can believe her. She said she will do anything to prove to me that she’ll be loyal and that this time she will stay. She also said that she hasn’t dated anyone at all since we broke up, so there was no rebound or cheating involved. It was just because she felt like we wouldn’t work out in the long run.
But now, we’re close together, and we have an opportunity to start over and have a wonderful relationship together, the right way. And we had an amazing time together the last few days, we both have intense feelings for each other. I just don’t know if I should take her back after she gave up on me. Let’s say I did take her back, I would always be worried that she’ll do the same thing again. I would have to trust her again. I understand that the relationship was probably doomed to fail, but I never would’ve given up on her in a million years. Maybe women are wired differently. I honestly still have a lot of love for her, and I still want to be with her. But I don’t want to get hurt again. What do you think? Should I give it a chance or am I better off finding someone new?
TL;DR - I'm (24M) torn about getting back with my ex (22F). We had a long-distance relationship, but she broke up with me due to the distance and said some hurtful things. Now that I've moved back to our home country, we've reconnected, and she wants to try again. While the chemistry is still there, I'm unsure if I can trust her after she gave up on us once. Should I give it another shot or move on?
2024.06.04 22:42 NeoIsTheChosen1 I don’t know if I should take back my ex-girlfriend or not. She dumped me and we went no contact for 4 months. What should I do?
I’m at a crossroads right now, my head is telling me no but my heart is telling me yes. The story is a bit complicated so I will do my best to explain our relationship so you can understand the full picture.
I’ll start with the way we initially got together. We come from the same country ethnically, but I lived my whole life abroad. When I was 17 I met her in my home country while I was visiting for the summer. We only spent one day together at a family gathering, she was a friend of a friend. Well since that day we became good friends and we started texting for years. Eventually I felt romantic interest in her but she declined because she wasn’t interested at the time. This was 6-7 years ago. Since then we didn’t talk as much. Then about 3 years ago during the summer, I was visiting again and we crossed paths again. It had been like 4 years since we last talked. We had a great conversation and it was as if we never stopped talking. We had extremely good chemistry and we both felt a spark. After that I knew she had interest in me, we kept texting and she sent me a really long paragraph about how she caught feelings for me and she regrets rejecting me in the past, and how she would really love it if I gave her another chance to get to know each other romantically. I felt the same way about her so I decided to give it a shot. Keep in mind I only saw her in person that one time, I left back to my country after just two days. But we were both willing to do long distance because we were extremely attracted to each other and we saw a future together.
So our entire relationship was basically long distance, all of it was over the phone. But our relationship escalated very quickly, she told me it happened like it was straight out of a movie. Eventually she was telling me things like I’m the one and she wants to marry me and she’s never been this sure of anything in her entire life. I felt the same way. It was one of those things where “when you know you know”. I had already know her previously and her personality. Anyways, we didn’t really have a plan to close the distance, but we were willing to stick it out until I could move to her. It would’ve taken 2-3 years. But of course we had to meet each other first and date in person. After a whole year of dating, we planned a trip together to Italy so we could finally spend time with each other for the first time. We waited a long time for this moment. I thought the trip went great and that it solidified our relationship, she told me she had a great time and that the chemistry was still there in person.
Well a few months after that trip, which was last January, she broke up with me. She basically said she couldn’t do the distance anymore even though she thought she could. And that she wasn’t able to see me only once a year, and keep saying “one day” without an actual plan. Which is completely understandable, I don’t blame her at all. It was probably doomed to fail because of that. But afterwards, I was so heartbroken by the breakup that I reacted very emotionally. I wrote her a long letter explaining my feelings and how I couldn’t understand why she would give up after all the promises. Now I completely understand, but at the time I didn’t because I was blinded by my own feelings. I kept pushing her and bothering her for more answers, and eventually she snapped at me. She said a lot of things that were hurtful and disrespectful. She said that she was forcing herself to be comfortable with me on the trip, that it wasn’t the type of comfort it should be with the one, she said that the distance wouldn’t have mattered if it was the right person (which contradicts her previous excuse about distance), she also said that she just didn’t love me anymore, and she didn’t want to settle for someone she has to learn to love, she wants to find a love that comes naturally to her. She also said that she might’ve just loved the idea of me because it felt different on the trip. And that if we had a base together, maybe it would’ve worked. But we never got to know each other physically, we got into a committed relationship for a year without ever seeing each other in person.
So basically, her initial reason was the distance, but after she snapped at me she said that it was because she didn’t love me and that I’m not the right person for her. Even though she believed with all her heart that I was the right person during the relationship. So maybe it was a combination of both reasons, I don’t know. Maybe the extreme distance led her to lose feelings and realize I’m not the right guy for her. Anyways, we ended it in January and we went no contact since then. Not a single text. I was extremely heartbroken for months and very hurt at the things she said to me. I couldn’t understand how she moved on so quickly and discarded me from her life. As if I never meant anything to her. We were planning our future together.
I just want to add that now 4 months after the breakup I completely understand her. I understand why she felt uncomfortable with me. We met each other for one day and then spent an entire year talking over the phone and got into a committed relationship. We never had the opportunity to get to know each other physically. In a normal relationship you would spend time together in person and THEN decide to commit. So over the course of a year we built up an idealized version of each other in our heads. When we met on the vacation, physically we were strangers. I’ll admit, I felt a bit uncomfortable too, and it felt a bit weird, but after a few days I did feel comfortable with her. I figured it was normal since we have to get used to each other. But I was willing to look past it because I loved her. And she is definitely the type of woman that needs to spend a long time with someone before feeling comfortable being intimate with them. Also, it was her first serious relationship and she’d never even had her first kiss before. She’s a very reserved and shy girl. Maybe I rushed things by trying to kiss her too soon, I should’ve went way slower and just focused on getting comfortable with each other. On top of all that, we were also in a strange environment that we’ve never been to before (Italy), with a person that is a stranger physically. Yes we talked for an entire year but physically we were strangers. We spent a year in a committed (digital) relationship, so by the time we met, there was all this expectation built up of how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to immediately behave as committed couples do. When in reality, what we probably should’ve done was get to know each other first. we should’ve probably just talked for a year without actually committing, and then decide if we want to be together after we actually meet. But since we both rushed into it, there was a lot of expectation. So overall it completely makes sense that we were uncomfortable because we never had a base to build off of.
Now it’s been about 4 months since the break up with no contact. A turn of events happened in my life and I ended up moving to my country this month, much sooner than I expected, for a work opportunity. It’s the same country where my ex lives. I wasn’t planning to move there for another 2-3 years, but it just so happened that I ended up moving back just 4 months after we broke up. As soon as I settled in, my ex reached out to me telling me that she heard I moved back to this country. We talked for a bit and we ended up meeting up so we could catch up with each other. She picked me up and we went for a drive, with no expectations to rekindle anything, just to have fun together. And we actually had an amazing time. A short drive turned into a whole day spent with her. We talked, we laughed, and I felt the same chemistry and spark that I felt when we first met. We hung out the next day, and the next day, then on the 4th day, she ended up telling me that she realized she still has feelings for me and wants to get back together. This time, it would be different because we are actually in the same country, there’s no more long distance.
I told her I needed to think about it, and now I’m here typing this. I don’t know if I should take her back or not, mainly because of the things she said to me during the break up. Yes, distance may have played a role in her losing feelings, and I give her the benefit of the doubt. But I can’t forget the things she said to me when she snapped. She told me HERSELF that she just didn’t love me, and that the distance wouldn’t have mattered with the right person. She made the decision to completely give up on me. She moved on so quickly and was completely fine without me in her life. When she broke up she had it in her mind that she wanted to find someone better. How can I forgive that? I tell myself, all of this happened because we could never be close, we never got to start the relationship the proper way. But I also tell myself, if she was the right person, would she have given up on me? I know that “the one” isn’t some magical feeling you only get with one person, and that circumstances sometimes cause relationships to not work out. But even under all these circumstances, maybe the right person would’ve stayed? Maybe the right person would’ve felt comfortable with me on the trip. I mean, a lot of you guys in this sub were nevermets, and there’s so many cases of people never meeting for years, and they still end up working out. Just because we now have a chance to be together now in close proximity, does that mean I should do it? Do I want someone that would only decide to love me if I am close to them? I don’t know if I am being reasonable by questioning these things. Maybe she is the right person but circumstances actually couldn’t let us be together until now. I can’t tell if I should say no because I should find someone that would stick with me through anything, I don’t even know if that person exists. I don’t know if anyone would be able to handle the relationship we had, so maybe it’s unfair to blame her for giving up on me.
I told her all these things and she gave me a huge apology and said she was wrong. She explained why she felt uncomfortable and why she felt like she lost feelings, and it was basically everything I explained before. But she said now she realized she was wrong and that she is comfortable with me and that she made a huge mistake. She said she confused her feelings and thought that I wasn’t the one when I actually was. I told her that she said she was settling for me. And she said she only said that because I made her mad so she snapped, I kept bothering her so she just wanted to push me away, and that she didn’t actually mean it. Now she wants to take everything back but I don’t know if I can believe her. She said she will do anything to prove to me that she’ll be loyal and that this time she will stay. She also said that she hasn’t dated anyone at all since we broke up, so there was no rebound or cheating involved. It was just because she felt like we wouldn’t work out in the long run.
But now, we’re close together, and we have an opportunity to start over and have a wonderful relationship together, the right way. And we had an amazing time together the last few days, we both have intense feelings for each other. I just don’t know if I should take her back after she gave up on me. Let’s say I did take her back, I would always be worried that she’ll do the same thing again. I would have to trust her again. I understand that the relationship was probably doomed to fail, but I never would’ve given up on her in a million years. Maybe women are wired differently. I honestly still have a lot of love for her, and I still want to be with her. But I don’t want to get hurt again. What do you think? Should I give it a chance or am I better off finding someone new?
TL;DR - I'm (24M) torn about getting back with my ex (22F). We had a long-distance relationship, but she broke up with me due to the distance and said some hurtful things. Now that I've moved back to our home country, we've reconnected, and she wants to try again. While the chemistry is still there, I'm unsure if I can trust her after she gave up on us once. Should I give it another shot or move on?
submitted by NeoIsTheChosen1 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
I’ll start with the way we initially got together. We come from the same country ethnically, but I lived my whole life abroad. When I was 17 I met her in my home country while I was visiting for the summer. We only spent one day together at a family gathering, she was a friend of a friend. Well since that day we became good friends and we started texting for years. Eventually I felt romantic interest in her but she declined because she wasn’t interested at the time. This was 6-7 years ago. Since then we didn’t talk as much. Then about 3 years ago during the summer, I was visiting again and we crossed paths again. It had been like 4 years since we last talked. We had a great conversation and it was as if we never stopped talking. We had extremely good chemistry and we both felt a spark. After that I knew she had interest in me, we kept texting and she sent me a really long paragraph about how she caught feelings for me and she regrets rejecting me in the past, and how she would really love it if I gave her another chance to get to know each other romantically. I felt the same way about her so I decided to give it a shot. Keep in mind I only saw her in person that one time, I left back to my country after just two days. But we were both willing to do long distance because we were extremely attracted to each other and we saw a future together.
So our entire relationship was basically long distance, all of it was over the phone. But our relationship escalated very quickly, she told me it happened like it was straight out of a movie. Eventually she was telling me things like I’m the one and she wants to marry me and she’s never been this sure of anything in her entire life. I felt the same way. It was one of those things where “when you know you know”. I had already know her previously and her personality. Anyways, we didn’t really have a plan to close the distance, but we were willing to stick it out until I could move to her. It would’ve taken 2-3 years. But of course we had to meet each other first and date in person. After a whole year of dating, we planned a trip together to Italy so we could finally spend time with each other for the first time. We waited a long time for this moment. I thought the trip went great and that it solidified our relationship, she told me she had a great time and that the chemistry was still there in person.
Well a few months after that trip, which was last January, she broke up with me. She basically said she couldn’t do the distance anymore even though she thought she could. And that she wasn’t able to see me only once a year, and keep saying “one day” without an actual plan. Which is completely understandable, I don’t blame her at all. It was probably doomed to fail because of that. But afterwards, I was so heartbroken by the breakup that I reacted very emotionally. I wrote her a long letter explaining my feelings and how I couldn’t understand why she would give up after all the promises. Now I completely understand, but at the time I didn’t because I was blinded by my own feelings. I kept pushing her and bothering her for more answers, and eventually she snapped at me. She said a lot of things that were hurtful and disrespectful. She said that she was forcing herself to be comfortable with me on the trip, that it wasn’t the type of comfort it should be with the one, she said that the distance wouldn’t have mattered if it was the right person (which contradicts her previous excuse about distance), she also said that she just didn’t love me anymore, and she didn’t want to settle for someone she has to learn to love, she wants to find a love that comes naturally to her. She also said that she might’ve just loved the idea of me because it felt different on the trip. And that if we had a base together, maybe it would’ve worked. But we never got to know each other physically, we got into a committed relationship for a year without ever seeing each other in person.
So basically, her initial reason was the distance, but after she snapped at me she said that it was because she didn’t love me and that I’m not the right person for her. Even though she believed with all her heart that I was the right person during the relationship. So maybe it was a combination of both reasons, I don’t know. Maybe the extreme distance led her to lose feelings and realize I’m not the right guy for her. Anyways, we ended it in January and we went no contact since then. Not a single text. I was extremely heartbroken for months and very hurt at the things she said to me. I couldn’t understand how she moved on so quickly and discarded me from her life. As if I never meant anything to her. We were planning our future together.
I just want to add that now 4 months after the breakup I completely understand her. I understand why she felt uncomfortable with me. We met each other for one day and then spent an entire year talking over the phone and got into a committed relationship. We never had the opportunity to get to know each other physically. In a normal relationship you would spend time together in person and THEN decide to commit. So over the course of a year we built up an idealized version of each other in our heads. When we met on the vacation, physically we were strangers. I’ll admit, I felt a bit uncomfortable too, and it felt a bit weird, but after a few days I did feel comfortable with her. I figured it was normal since we have to get used to each other. But I was willing to look past it because I loved her. And she is definitely the type of woman that needs to spend a long time with someone before feeling comfortable being intimate with them. Also, it was her first serious relationship and she’d never even had her first kiss before. She’s a very reserved and shy girl. Maybe I rushed things by trying to kiss her too soon, I should’ve went way slower and just focused on getting comfortable with each other. On top of all that, we were also in a strange environment that we’ve never been to before (Italy), with a person that is a stranger physically. Yes we talked for an entire year but physically we were strangers. We spent a year in a committed (digital) relationship, so by the time we met, there was all this expectation built up of how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to immediately behave as committed couples do. When in reality, what we probably should’ve done was get to know each other first. we should’ve probably just talked for a year without actually committing, and then decide if we want to be together after we actually meet. But since we both rushed into it, there was a lot of expectation. So overall it completely makes sense that we were uncomfortable because we never had a base to build off of.
Now it’s been about 4 months since the break up with no contact. A turn of events happened in my life and I ended up moving to my country this month, much sooner than I expected, for a work opportunity. It’s the same country where my ex lives. I wasn’t planning to move there for another 2-3 years, but it just so happened that I ended up moving back just 4 months after we broke up. As soon as I settled in, my ex reached out to me telling me that she heard I moved back to this country. We talked for a bit and we ended up meeting up so we could catch up with each other. She picked me up and we went for a drive, with no expectations to rekindle anything, just to have fun together. And we actually had an amazing time. A short drive turned into a whole day spent with her. We talked, we laughed, and I felt the same chemistry and spark that I felt when we first met. We hung out the next day, and the next day, then on the 4th day, she ended up telling me that she realized she still has feelings for me and wants to get back together. This time, it would be different because we are actually in the same country, there’s no more long distance.
I told her I needed to think about it, and now I’m here typing this. I don’t know if I should take her back or not, mainly because of the things she said to me during the break up. Yes, distance may have played a role in her losing feelings, and I give her the benefit of the doubt. But I can’t forget the things she said to me when she snapped. She told me HERSELF that she just didn’t love me, and that the distance wouldn’t have mattered with the right person. She made the decision to completely give up on me. She moved on so quickly and was completely fine without me in her life. When she broke up she had it in her mind that she wanted to find someone better. How can I forgive that? I tell myself, all of this happened because we could never be close, we never got to start the relationship the proper way. But I also tell myself, if she was the right person, would she have given up on me? I know that “the one” isn’t some magical feeling you only get with one person, and that circumstances sometimes cause relationships to not work out. But even under all these circumstances, maybe the right person would’ve stayed? Maybe the right person would’ve felt comfortable with me on the trip. I mean, a lot of you guys in this sub were nevermets, and there’s so many cases of people never meeting for years, and they still end up working out. Just because we now have a chance to be together now in close proximity, does that mean I should do it? Do I want someone that would only decide to love me if I am close to them? I don’t know if I am being reasonable by questioning these things. Maybe she is the right person but circumstances actually couldn’t let us be together until now. I can’t tell if I should say no because I should find someone that would stick with me through anything, I don’t even know if that person exists. I don’t know if anyone would be able to handle the relationship we had, so maybe it’s unfair to blame her for giving up on me.
I told her all these things and she gave me a huge apology and said she was wrong. She explained why she felt uncomfortable and why she felt like she lost feelings, and it was basically everything I explained before. But she said now she realized she was wrong and that she is comfortable with me and that she made a huge mistake. She said she confused her feelings and thought that I wasn’t the one when I actually was. I told her that she said she was settling for me. And she said she only said that because I made her mad so she snapped, I kept bothering her so she just wanted to push me away, and that she didn’t actually mean it. Now she wants to take everything back but I don’t know if I can believe her. She said she will do anything to prove to me that she’ll be loyal and that this time she will stay. She also said that she hasn’t dated anyone at all since we broke up, so there was no rebound or cheating involved. It was just because she felt like we wouldn’t work out in the long run.
But now, we’re close together, and we have an opportunity to start over and have a wonderful relationship together, the right way. And we had an amazing time together the last few days, we both have intense feelings for each other. I just don’t know if I should take her back after she gave up on me. Let’s say I did take her back, I would always be worried that she’ll do the same thing again. I would have to trust her again. I understand that the relationship was probably doomed to fail, but I never would’ve given up on her in a million years. Maybe women are wired differently. I honestly still have a lot of love for her, and I still want to be with her. But I don’t want to get hurt again. What do you think? Should I give it a chance or am I better off finding someone new?
TL;DR - I'm (24M) torn about getting back with my ex (22F). We had a long-distance relationship, but she broke up with me due to the distance and said some hurtful things. Now that I've moved back to our home country, we've reconnected, and she wants to try again. While the chemistry is still there, I'm unsure if I can trust her after she gave up on us once. Should I give it another shot or move on?
2024.06.04 22:37 apehasreturned Booking John Cena's Career, Part Eighteen: Beat Up John Cena
Part One Here!
Part Two Here!
Part Three Here!
Part Four Here!
Part Five Here!
Part Six Here!
Part Seven Here!
Part Eight Here!
Part Nine Here!
Part Ten Here!
Part Eleven Here!
Part Twelve Here!
Part Thirteen Here!
Part Fourteen Here!
Part Fifteen Here!
Part Sixteen Here!
Part Seventeen Here!
We pick up in the aftermath of WrestleMania 32, where John Cena lost the WWE World Heavyweight Title in a triple threat match with Roman Reigns to Dean Ambrose, before shockingly assaulting both men with a steel chair after the bell. Naturally, the night after WrestleMania sees a very angry Ambrose marching to the ring with the gold, not granted the usual pomp and circumstance of a brand new fan favourite champion. He says Reigns is out injured for the time being, and he wants a piece of Cena. He doesn’t care if the title is on the line, he doesn’t care what the hell happens, he wants revenge, because that smarmy bastard pulled a Seth Rollins on them.
On the titantron, Cena appears, saying that he’ll be happy to meet Ambrose for the WWE World Heavyweight Title at Payback. Ambrose shouts that if he’s so reliant on chairs, they should make it No DQ, and Cena shrugs, agreeing. He says that Dean simply isn’t on his level one on one - he and Reigns had to team up to take Cena out, and soon enough, Reigns is going to get wise to the kind of man Ambrose is. He can compare Cena to Seth all he likes, but Dean is the Judas, throwing Reigns out of the ring to notch the pin. He’s selfish, just like everybody else is, because it’s a dog eat dog world, even for the Hounds of Justice.
The next week, Cena is set to appear, and he does so with the rule that Ambrose and Reigns are barred from the arena while he’s there. He comes out to explain his actions in a suit and tie, and says that at WrestleMania, he wanted to play fair, just as he had before. He gave Roman another opportunity that he didn’t have to, he didn’t cheat, and he got ganged up on and failed, and everybody he fought for cheered as he lay there, miserable, because he realized he’d been a damn fool. He’d preached his morals and they failed him, and the world laughed. It was Ambrose’s opportune timing that won him the gold, and, as much as he doesn’t like Kevin Owens, he gets where he was coming from last year. Cena’s won titles by playing dirty, and if that’s what he has to do to rectify the error that is Dean Ambrose being the WWE Champion, so be it. If that’s what the fans will go along with, so be it, and if it’s not, fine. He’s teaching people how to truly succeed, how to truly be the best, and that’s to stop at nothing, to not take no for an answer - to never give up. At Payback, Cena won’t give up until the title is back in his hands, the face of WWE is restored, and the Franchise is back on top.
Payback 2016
No DQ Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Title: John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose (c)
Cena enters first with new gear to match the new energy - he’s got boxing shorts with “Franchise” in metallic gold lettering along the waistband, and a US flag-adorned boxing robe draped over his shoulders, left open for the title he intends to walk out with. Ambrose is out next to an ovation, and IMMEDIATELY, IT’S A SCRAP ON THE RAMP! Cena’s power is all the more dangerous without the Franchise looking to keep a lid on it for his opponent’s safety, and he overwhelms Dean with a TACKLE THROUGH THE BARRICADE, FOLLOWED BY AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! He sends Ambrose back in, mounting him with a ground and pound, busting Dean’s lip before rolling out of the ring and sending in the steel steps, launching them over the top rope and STRAIGHT INTO THE CHAMPION! He slides in a few chairs next, and sets up a new table on the outside. Finally, he picks up the title too, wrenching it out of the timekeeper’s hands before AMBROSE FLIES INTO HIM WITH A SUICIDE DIVE! Frantically, Dean lands as many blows as he can, flinging a chair at Cena before CLOCKING HIM WITH THE TITLE! Cena’s stunned, not quite sure where he is as Ambrose lays him out on the table, clambering to the top rope with an ELBOW DROP TO THE FLOOR! THESE TWO ARE OUT FOR BLOOD, BUT THEY’RE BOTH DOWN AND OUT NOW!
Ambrose is the first to start stirring, the Lunatic Fringe welcoming the challenge and grabbing a steel chair, looking to inflict the exact same pain on Cena that the challenger did to him at WrestleMania. He lifts it up, but CENA DELIVERS A LOW BLOW! IT’S NO DISQUALIFICATION! Already battered and bruised, Cena sends Dean in, hoping to end things with another Attitude Adjustment, but DEAN DROPS DOWN FOR A DIRTY DEEDS, ONLY FOR CENA TO RUN HIM INTO THE TURNBUCKLES, DRIVING HIS SHOULDER INTO THE BODY OVER AND OVER! Finally, Ambrose slumps over, and Cena rolls out of the ring, grabbing a pair of handcuffs. He attaches one end to Ambrose’s wrist, trying to lock the other one behind his back before Dean NAILS A DIRTY DEEDS! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOO! Ambrose can’t believe it, but he’s unrelenting, now sliding out himself and tossing a bag into the ring. He empties it out… MY GOD, THOSE ARE THUMBTACKS! Dean chuckles, lining up for a Knee Trembler as Cena comes to in the corner, and CHARGING STRAIGHT INTO AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT, BUT CENA IMMEDIATELY CUFFS DEAN TO THE BOTTOM ROPE! Springing up, Cena locks eyes with the champion just out of reach, mockingly waving his hand in front of his face before grabbing the steel chair… AND EATING A FACEFUL OF TACKS, AMBROSE THROWING A HANDFUL STRAIGHT AT HIM! Cena’s blinded temporarily, and HERE COMES THE BIG DOG! Reigns unscrews the turnbuckle, Ambrose able to move freely within the ring, and he delivers a… ELEVATED DIRTY DEEDS STRAIGHT INTO THE THUMBTACKS! ONE! TWO! THREE! DEAN AMBROSE SURVIVES JOHN CENA WITH SOME A LITTLE HELP FROM A BROTHER IN ARMS, BUT WHAT A GRISLY WAR IT WAS!
Road to the 2016 Draft
Both frustrated with the loss and nursing his wounds, Cena vanishes from TV for a good stretch of time, filming a few projects before being grouped into Smackdown’s first round of picks, right after WWE Champion Dean Ambrose. He doesn’t appear, but it’s declared he’ll have his first match as a blue brand representative at Battleground, the final PPV before the split is officially enacted. Ambrose is set to defend his title against Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins in a huge Shield triple threat, meaning it won’t be against him, but it’s definitely a man he has a whole hell of a lot of history with - after six years apart, John Cena will once again share a brand with AJ Styles, and both men are very different performers than they were when they last met. Styles calls Cena out the moment it’s announced he’ll be at Battleground, saying he wants to meet the Franchise one on one, beat the blue brand’s biggest name, and assert himself as the Face That Runs The Place. Backed up by the Club, Styles is confident and unafraid to pull some cheap tricks, but he’s definitely got the crowd behind him as an opponent of Cena’s. Cena accepts on Twitter, but brushes AJ off, saying he’s spent the last six years main eventing WrestleManias for a reason, and he’ll illustrate it against Styles at Battleground.
Battleground 2016
John Cena vs. AJ Styles
Styles and Cena finally meet again, and the world is watching as they face off in the middle of the ring, immediately launching into a hockey fight. Cena sends Styles to the floor, driving him into the apron before POWERBOMBING HIM ACROSS THE BARRICADE! He focuses his offense on the back, more than content to just drive a knee into the spine and sit in the middle of the ring for a while, or even apply AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH! AJ’S GONNA TAP! THIS IS IT! STYLES SOMEHOW FIGHTS FREE, BUT NOW CENA’S GOT A BEAR HUG, BY GOD! Cena’s draining the life out of AJ, and finally turns it into a belly to belly, following it with a few shoulder blocks before CALLING FOR THE FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! The crowd boos as he leans over Styles, but AJ KICKS HIM IN THE CROWN OF THE HEAD, FOLLOWING IT WITH A PELE KICK! Cena’s on the ropes, and AJ lights him up with a phenomenal combination, followed by a snap suplex before hopping to the apron for a SPRINGBOARD 450 SPLASH! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOO! Styles keeps the pressure on, overwhelming Cena with his speed and strikes, but Cena’s power neutralizes AJ’s output when he counters a hurricanrana with a HUGE POWERBOMB, BUT HE HOLDS ON, DEADLIFTING AJ UP… A SECOND FOLDING POWERBOMB! ONE! TWO! THR-KICKOUT, AND CENA GUTWRENCHES HIM UP FOR A THIRD, AGAIN GETTING TWO!
Continuously working over Styles’ back, Cena delivers a few suplexes, followed by a particularly vicious wheelbarrow suplex that folds AJ up like an accordion. He calls for a lariat, but Styles ducks, spinning around behind Cena for a GERMAN SUPLEX OF HIS OWN! Before Cena can even get up, AJ springs off the middle rope… STYLIN’ DDT CONNECTS! AJ hits his signature pose, feeling the energy of the crowd as he looks for the STYLES CLASH, BUT CENA SIMPLY MUSCLES HIM UP FOR AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOO! AJ struggles to get to his feet as Cena is poised to deliver another Attitude Adjustment, but AJ REVERSES INTO AN INVERTED DDT! Clutching his back, Styles makes his way to the apron, calling for a Phenomenal Forearm as a result of his uncertainty about lifting Cena up. He springs onto the top rope, and CENA PULLS THE REFEREE INTO THE WAY, AJ PAUSING ATOP THE ROPE… AND CENA TAKING OUT HIS FEET FROM UNDER HIM, FOLLOWING IT WITH AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! Styles is operating on instinct alone as he tries to keep going, Cena not even bothering to cover, but instead DELIVERING A HELLACIOUS LARIAT, BEHEADING STYLES! JESUS, WHAT A MANEUVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! JOHN CENA PICKS UP THE UNDERHANDED WIN!
John Cena def. AJ Styles (21:45)
Road to SummerSlam 2016
AJ comes out on Smackdown and cuts a promo about how he hates WWE ropes, just like he hates lucha ropes, and just like how he hates John Cena. He says he and John have a lot of history, and that last chapter was far from a satisfying one in their story - so he wants another go round at SummerSlam, and he wants to BEAT UP JOHN CENA! The Club back him up wholeheartedly, Gallows and Anderson promising to make sure that at SummerSlam, Cena can’t pull a fast one on the Phenomenal One. It’s Daniel Bryan who makes it official, a disgruntled Cena fairly disappointed to spend SummerSlam outside the title scene, but accepting that he’ll just have to beat AJ’s ass again. They have a face-to-face on the go-home show, both acknowledging their shared history, but Cena saying there’s a reason he got to make the big bucks earlier than Styles. He’s the star, the Franchise, and he’s proven it day in and day out for fourteen years, while AJ’s been having five star matches for a hot dog and a handshake - something that didn’t benefit him at all at Battleground. Styles fires back that Cena may have won his first Rumble, may have won the WWE Title at WrestleMania 27, but it was a long time before he beat the top guy - and AJ’s on pace to do so that much faster, because he’s going to put Cena in the dirt at SummerSlam. They do some additional posturing before Styles throws a punch, Cena going for a lariat before immediately ducking out as Gallows and Anderson appear.
SummerSlam 2016
John Cena vs. AJ Styles
Both men have something to prove heading into this one - while neither shies away from cheating at this point, they both want a clean, decisive victory to hold over the other’s head after so many years apart. It’s a lot of mat wrestling to start as they try to get the mental advantage early, Cena’s power and Styles’ speed and agility still being key on the ground as John tries to muscle AJ into submissions and AJ tries to snake around him and find the right opportunity to strike. Soon enough, John gets fed up and tries to powerbomb Styles through the ring, earning two. They keep the action strictly in the ring, trading holds, strikes and suplexes in equal measure before AJ starts taking to the skies, landing a Stylin’ DDT and starting to work over Cena’s legs. John keeps the offense focused on the back, but soon enough, Styles manages to CINCH IN THE CALF CRUSHER! Cena’s in trouble, and he desperately scrambles to the ropes, Styles more than happy to keep it in until four before releasing the hold and delivering a SPRINGBOARD 450 SPLASH! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOO!
Styles keeps the pressure on with a flurry of strikes, following it with an Ushigoroshi before calling for the Styles Clash, but Cena simply counters with a back body drop before unleashing a brutal series of backbreakers, followed by an ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOOO! Fed up, Cena dumps AJ onto the top turnbuckle, potentially going for his patented avalanche German, but Styles fights tooth and nail to avoid being dropped to the mat. He nails a sequence of elbows, and CALLS FOR A STYLES CLASH OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE, BUT CENA REVERSES… AVALANCHE ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THRE-STYLES KICKS OUT? HOW ON EARTH DID HE MANAGE TO GET THE SHOULDER UP? The Franchise is in a state of disbelief, but he elects to go for his massive lariat, waiting for Styles to get up before BEING SENT HEADLONG INTO THE RING POST BY AJ! Styles drags himself to the top rope as John lies starfished on the canvas… STYLES WITH A SPIRAL TAP, BUT CENA ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY, AJ SMACKING INTO THE MAT! CENA GETS HIM UP FOR ANOTHER ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, BUT AJ COUNTERS INTO A VICTORY ROLL! ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT, BUT HE NAILS A PELE KICK, STUMBLING TO THE APRON… PHENOMENAL FOREARM, AND NOW A STYLES CLASH! ONE! TWO! THREE! AJ STYLES HAS BEATEN JOHN CENA, CLEAN AS A WHISTLE!
AJ Styles def. John Cena (28:17)
Backlash 2016
Cena’s nowhere to be seen after SummerSlam, Styles celebrating his win and riding the wave into a title match with Dean Ambrose for Backlash - a match that he ekes out a win for, picking up his first WWE Championship at about the same rate as Cena. However, the party is crashed by the Franchise himself, with Cena running down and laying waste to both Ambrose and Styles, his two most heated rivals from the year thus far. He eyes up the WWE Title again, laying eyes on it for the first time since Payback, and it’s pretty clear where this needs to go.
Road to No Mercy 2016
On the SmackDown after Backlash, Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan reprimand Cena’s actions, but say that as he does have a win over Styles from Battleground, it makes sense for him to challenge for the WWE Championship, should AJ be willing to defend it against him. Styles comes out, brash as ever, but he’s interrupted by Dean Ambrose, who wants a rematch for the gold at No Mercy. AJ says he wants revenge against Cena, and Ambrose can get back in line, but McMahon makes the judgement call - at No Mercy, AJ will make his first defense of the gold in a triple threat match against Dean Ambrose and John Cena.
No Mercy 2016
WWE Title: John Cena vs. AJ Styles (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
It’s a blockbuster triple threat match to open the show, with Dean Ambrose the fan favourite looking to overcome the odds and reclaim the WWE championship against two outright villains in Styles and Cena. However, he doesn’t have to worry about AJ and John teaming up against him, because all three men in this bout loathe each other. Cena makes a beeline for Ambrose, and Ambrose makes a beeline for Cena, leading to AJ just rolling on out of the ring and letting the two enemies duke it out. Cena and Ambrose brawl around ringside, Cena going for an Attitude Adjustment on the outside, but AJ SPRINGING OFF THE BARRICADE FOR A PHENOMENAL FOREARM AS DEAN DROPS DOWN! Ambrose lays out Styles with a Thesz Press, sending the champion back in and going for Dirty Deeds, but AJ reverses into a Northern Lights Suplex, following it with a Pele Kick before going for a PHENOMENAL FOREARM, BUT AMBROSE HAS NO HESITATION IN KICKING OUT THE ROPE, CROTCHING AJ ON THE TOP BEFORE HITTING A DIRTY DEEDS! ONE! TWO! THRE-CENA SAVES IT, FLINGING AMBROSE TO THE FLOOR BEFORE HITTING STYLES WITH AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOW AMBROSE BREAKS IT UP, AND IT’S A HOCKEY FIGHT BETWEEN THE TWO CHALLENGERS! Ambrose gets the upper hand with his frantic striking and absurd resiliency, but Cena responds with a punch to the throat before DECAPITATING AMBROSE WITH A LARIAT, ONLY FOR STYLES TO SEND CENA TO THE OUTSIDE! Cena scrambles to his feet… AJ WITH A PHENOMENAL FOREARM TO THE FLOOR, LEAPING UP TO THE APRON FOR ANOTHER ONE TO AMBROSE! ONE! TWO! THREE! THE TRIPLE THREAT CURSE CONTINUES FOR JOHN CENA, BECAUSE AJ STYLES’ WWE TITLE REIGN LIVES TO SEE ANOTHER DAY!
AJ Styles def. John Cena and Dean Ambrose (23:06) to retain the WWE Title
Road to Survivor Series 2016
Naturally, John Cena’s a little sour coming out of No Mercy, but it’s Daniel Bryan who’s the first to reach out to him. He says Survivor Series is coming up, and it’s brand warfare, and Cena says he doesn’t care. However, Bryan keeps pressing - he says he and Cena have been through wars together, and he needs John Cena to represent SmackDown Live in the 5-on-5 elimination match. Cena might not be all about Hustle, Loyalty and Respect anymore, but he shouldn’t be giving up on this roster. If Cena wants to ever be the WWE Champion again, he’ll have to earn that opportunity, and he’ll have to be granted that shot by SmackDown’s management, so it might be a good idea to endear himself to them. John scoffs, standing up to tower over Bryan, when Bryan drops the big gun: he knows who’s on Team Raw.
This piques Cena’s interest, and Daniel says that they’ve got Chris Jericho, who Cena’s fought against before over World Titles. Cena doesn’t really care about the list man. They’ve got Kevin Owens, the Universal Champion, who Cena went to war with in 2015 and ended up falling short against. NOW Cena’s interested, but not interested enough to commit. They’ve got Seth Rollins, the Architect who stole Cena’s victory at WrestleMania 31. Cena’s intrigue is only growing. They’ve got Roman Reigns, who Cena duked it out with over the WWE Championship on the Road To WrestleMania this year, including at the show of shows itself. Cena looks like he’s about to cave at the opportunity to beat the tar out of these guys, but finally, Bryan says that their last man… is Samoa Joe, the ever-lasting thorn in Cena’s side. Cena’s in. He’ll brave teaming with Ambrose and Styles for one night if it means getting to beat those guys - as long as he gets a title match out of it. Bryan agrees, so long as Cena is a survivor at the end of the night, which the Franchise vows to be. He shoulder checks Bryan on the way out for leveraging him, but at the end of the night, Cena gets what he wants.
Survivor Series 2016
Elimination Match: Team SmackDown Live (John Cena, AJ Styles, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose and Randy Orton) vs. Team Raw (Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Roman Reigns, Samoa Joe and Seth Rollins)
It’s an all-timer lineup for this one, perhaps the most star-studded lineup to ever grace Survivor Series, and it’s AJ and Joe starting us off, kicking off what could be a fun inter-brand feud down the line as they take a walk down memory lane. Soon enough, Owens tags in to work opposite the WWE Champion, with the company’s two top champs trading blows and Styles getting the upper hand, forcing Owens to tag Jericho. We get some Y2AJ payoff, Styles taking the fight to Jericho before eating a shocking Codebreaker for two, putting Styles on his heels. He tags in Bray, not wanting to interact with Cena or Ambrose, and Wyatt works opposite Reigns, leading to Cena tagging himself in and RUSHING ROMAN WITH A FLURRY OF OFFENSE! He backs Reigns up into the corner and unleashes on him, Roman managing to shove him away before it turns into a huge brawl, all ten men joining the fray as the referee tries to gain control. Seth tags in, but with the referee occupied, Cena has the opportunity to go low and get the upper hand before NAILING AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT FOR TWO! Joe goes after Cena, which is enough to get the Franchise to nope out of the ring. Let Orton handle that or something. Slowly but surely, everyone cycles in, and once the first elimination strikes in the form of a Dirty Deeds to Chris Jericho, the floodgates open.
Dean Ambrose eliminates Chris Jericho by pinfall (5-4)
Owens immediately jumps Ambrose, Orton fighting the Universal Champion off for long enough to leave Ambrose in the ring with Styles. Reigns and Rollins spot their opening, leaping in to stand up to AJ, and Cena can’t help himself as he blindsides Reigns. It turns into a free-for-all, with the Shield ganging up to take out the completely fragmented Styles and Cena, with Bryan on commentary screaming at Ambrose to not take out Smackdown’s guys. Dean shrugs to him, and now STYLES THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE WITH A TRIPLE POWERBOMB, BUT CENA SMASHES AMBROSE WITH A CHAIR! IS THAT A DQ? IT’S HIS OWN TEAMMATE! The referee doesn’t really know what to do, and Cena takes advantage by tackling Seth through the barricade and even managing to get an ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT ON REIGNS, BUT AN OPPORTUNE OWENS SENDS AMBROSE AND STYLES BACK IN FOR TWO STRAIGHT POP-UP POWERBOMBS! ONE! TWO! THREE! AMBROSE IS GONE!
Kevin Owens eliminates Dean Ambrose by pinfall (4-4)
NOW HE PINS STYLES… ONE! TWO! THREE!
Kevin Owens eliminates AJ Styles by pinfall (3-4)
OWENS IS ON TOP OF THE WORLD, BUT NOW RANDY ORTON WITH A PUNT ATTEMPT, ONLY TO BE THROWN OUT OF THE RING AS CENA SLIPS IN BEHIND OWENS TO DELIVER A HUGE LARIAT! ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THREE!
John Cena eliminates Kevin Owens by pinfall (3-3)
Cena shouts out to Daniel Bryan that he shouldn’t worry about losing Ambrose and AJ, because the real champ, the Franchise, is right here. He can solo the Shield, nevermind having Orton and Bray by his side, so he advises the SmackDown GM to shut his damn mouth and let him take care of business… AND ROMAN REIGNS LEVELS HIM WITH A SPEAR! ONE! TWO! THRE-BRAY WITH THE SAVE! Wyatt nails a Sister Abigail and tosses Reigns aside, heaving Cena’s lifeless body to the home corner and insisting he tag in, but a cocky Cena disregards it, staggering up to his feet as REIGNS MAKES THE HOT TAG TO JOE! CENA CHARGES IN WITH A LARIAT, BUT JOE SLIPS RIGHT UNDER FOR AN ST-JOE! ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT BY CENA, BUT THE SAMOAN SUBMISSION MACHINE SLIPS STRAIGHT INTO A COQUINA CLUTCH! THE FRANCHISE HAS NOWHERE TO GO… CENA TAPS OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS WWE CAREER!
Samoa Joe eliminates John Cena by submission (2-3)
In the end, The Wyatt Family manage to clutch against Reigns, Rollins and Joe once infighting befalls Team Raw (kicking off a Joe and Reigns feud), but John Cena sure as hell isn’t getting a shot at the WWE Title at TLC like he’d hoped, and Samoa Joe has one more win to dangle over him.
Team SmackDown Live def. Team Raw (57:46)
Backstage, as the fanfare begins for Goldberg vs. Lesnar, Cena is seen completely beside himself, shouting at Bryan and Shane about all sorts of people - Bryan himself, Rollins, Reigns, Ambrose, Joe, Owens and Styles. Finally, he storms out of the building, telling Bryan where he can stick his management-approved title match. While before, he’d had a target on his back and all sorts of enemies as the Face of the WWE, he’s now got enemies everywhere he looks as he tries to climb his way back up, no matter what it takes.
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Part Two Here!
Part Three Here!
Part Four Here!
Part Five Here!
Part Six Here!
Part Seven Here!
Part Eight Here!
Part Nine Here!
Part Ten Here!
Part Eleven Here!
Part Twelve Here!
Part Thirteen Here!
Part Fourteen Here!
Part Fifteen Here!
Part Sixteen Here!
Part Seventeen Here!
We pick up in the aftermath of WrestleMania 32, where John Cena lost the WWE World Heavyweight Title in a triple threat match with Roman Reigns to Dean Ambrose, before shockingly assaulting both men with a steel chair after the bell. Naturally, the night after WrestleMania sees a very angry Ambrose marching to the ring with the gold, not granted the usual pomp and circumstance of a brand new fan favourite champion. He says Reigns is out injured for the time being, and he wants a piece of Cena. He doesn’t care if the title is on the line, he doesn’t care what the hell happens, he wants revenge, because that smarmy bastard pulled a Seth Rollins on them.
On the titantron, Cena appears, saying that he’ll be happy to meet Ambrose for the WWE World Heavyweight Title at Payback. Ambrose shouts that if he’s so reliant on chairs, they should make it No DQ, and Cena shrugs, agreeing. He says that Dean simply isn’t on his level one on one - he and Reigns had to team up to take Cena out, and soon enough, Reigns is going to get wise to the kind of man Ambrose is. He can compare Cena to Seth all he likes, but Dean is the Judas, throwing Reigns out of the ring to notch the pin. He’s selfish, just like everybody else is, because it’s a dog eat dog world, even for the Hounds of Justice.
The next week, Cena is set to appear, and he does so with the rule that Ambrose and Reigns are barred from the arena while he’s there. He comes out to explain his actions in a suit and tie, and says that at WrestleMania, he wanted to play fair, just as he had before. He gave Roman another opportunity that he didn’t have to, he didn’t cheat, and he got ganged up on and failed, and everybody he fought for cheered as he lay there, miserable, because he realized he’d been a damn fool. He’d preached his morals and they failed him, and the world laughed. It was Ambrose’s opportune timing that won him the gold, and, as much as he doesn’t like Kevin Owens, he gets where he was coming from last year. Cena’s won titles by playing dirty, and if that’s what he has to do to rectify the error that is Dean Ambrose being the WWE Champion, so be it. If that’s what the fans will go along with, so be it, and if it’s not, fine. He’s teaching people how to truly succeed, how to truly be the best, and that’s to stop at nothing, to not take no for an answer - to never give up. At Payback, Cena won’t give up until the title is back in his hands, the face of WWE is restored, and the Franchise is back on top.
Payback 2016
No DQ Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Title: John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose (c)
Cena enters first with new gear to match the new energy - he’s got boxing shorts with “Franchise” in metallic gold lettering along the waistband, and a US flag-adorned boxing robe draped over his shoulders, left open for the title he intends to walk out with. Ambrose is out next to an ovation, and IMMEDIATELY, IT’S A SCRAP ON THE RAMP! Cena’s power is all the more dangerous without the Franchise looking to keep a lid on it for his opponent’s safety, and he overwhelms Dean with a TACKLE THROUGH THE BARRICADE, FOLLOWED BY AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! He sends Ambrose back in, mounting him with a ground and pound, busting Dean’s lip before rolling out of the ring and sending in the steel steps, launching them over the top rope and STRAIGHT INTO THE CHAMPION! He slides in a few chairs next, and sets up a new table on the outside. Finally, he picks up the title too, wrenching it out of the timekeeper’s hands before AMBROSE FLIES INTO HIM WITH A SUICIDE DIVE! Frantically, Dean lands as many blows as he can, flinging a chair at Cena before CLOCKING HIM WITH THE TITLE! Cena’s stunned, not quite sure where he is as Ambrose lays him out on the table, clambering to the top rope with an ELBOW DROP TO THE FLOOR! THESE TWO ARE OUT FOR BLOOD, BUT THEY’RE BOTH DOWN AND OUT NOW!
Ambrose is the first to start stirring, the Lunatic Fringe welcoming the challenge and grabbing a steel chair, looking to inflict the exact same pain on Cena that the challenger did to him at WrestleMania. He lifts it up, but CENA DELIVERS A LOW BLOW! IT’S NO DISQUALIFICATION! Already battered and bruised, Cena sends Dean in, hoping to end things with another Attitude Adjustment, but DEAN DROPS DOWN FOR A DIRTY DEEDS, ONLY FOR CENA TO RUN HIM INTO THE TURNBUCKLES, DRIVING HIS SHOULDER INTO THE BODY OVER AND OVER! Finally, Ambrose slumps over, and Cena rolls out of the ring, grabbing a pair of handcuffs. He attaches one end to Ambrose’s wrist, trying to lock the other one behind his back before Dean NAILS A DIRTY DEEDS! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOO! Ambrose can’t believe it, but he’s unrelenting, now sliding out himself and tossing a bag into the ring. He empties it out… MY GOD, THOSE ARE THUMBTACKS! Dean chuckles, lining up for a Knee Trembler as Cena comes to in the corner, and CHARGING STRAIGHT INTO AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT, BUT CENA IMMEDIATELY CUFFS DEAN TO THE BOTTOM ROPE! Springing up, Cena locks eyes with the champion just out of reach, mockingly waving his hand in front of his face before grabbing the steel chair… AND EATING A FACEFUL OF TACKS, AMBROSE THROWING A HANDFUL STRAIGHT AT HIM! Cena’s blinded temporarily, and HERE COMES THE BIG DOG! Reigns unscrews the turnbuckle, Ambrose able to move freely within the ring, and he delivers a… ELEVATED DIRTY DEEDS STRAIGHT INTO THE THUMBTACKS! ONE! TWO! THREE! DEAN AMBROSE SURVIVES JOHN CENA WITH SOME A LITTLE HELP FROM A BROTHER IN ARMS, BUT WHAT A GRISLY WAR IT WAS!
Road to the 2016 Draft
Both frustrated with the loss and nursing his wounds, Cena vanishes from TV for a good stretch of time, filming a few projects before being grouped into Smackdown’s first round of picks, right after WWE Champion Dean Ambrose. He doesn’t appear, but it’s declared he’ll have his first match as a blue brand representative at Battleground, the final PPV before the split is officially enacted. Ambrose is set to defend his title against Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins in a huge Shield triple threat, meaning it won’t be against him, but it’s definitely a man he has a whole hell of a lot of history with - after six years apart, John Cena will once again share a brand with AJ Styles, and both men are very different performers than they were when they last met. Styles calls Cena out the moment it’s announced he’ll be at Battleground, saying he wants to meet the Franchise one on one, beat the blue brand’s biggest name, and assert himself as the Face That Runs The Place. Backed up by the Club, Styles is confident and unafraid to pull some cheap tricks, but he’s definitely got the crowd behind him as an opponent of Cena’s. Cena accepts on Twitter, but brushes AJ off, saying he’s spent the last six years main eventing WrestleManias for a reason, and he’ll illustrate it against Styles at Battleground.
Battleground 2016
John Cena vs. AJ Styles
Styles and Cena finally meet again, and the world is watching as they face off in the middle of the ring, immediately launching into a hockey fight. Cena sends Styles to the floor, driving him into the apron before POWERBOMBING HIM ACROSS THE BARRICADE! He focuses his offense on the back, more than content to just drive a knee into the spine and sit in the middle of the ring for a while, or even apply AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH! AJ’S GONNA TAP! THIS IS IT! STYLES SOMEHOW FIGHTS FREE, BUT NOW CENA’S GOT A BEAR HUG, BY GOD! Cena’s draining the life out of AJ, and finally turns it into a belly to belly, following it with a few shoulder blocks before CALLING FOR THE FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! The crowd boos as he leans over Styles, but AJ KICKS HIM IN THE CROWN OF THE HEAD, FOLLOWING IT WITH A PELE KICK! Cena’s on the ropes, and AJ lights him up with a phenomenal combination, followed by a snap suplex before hopping to the apron for a SPRINGBOARD 450 SPLASH! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOO! Styles keeps the pressure on, overwhelming Cena with his speed and strikes, but Cena’s power neutralizes AJ’s output when he counters a hurricanrana with a HUGE POWERBOMB, BUT HE HOLDS ON, DEADLIFTING AJ UP… A SECOND FOLDING POWERBOMB! ONE! TWO! THR-KICKOUT, AND CENA GUTWRENCHES HIM UP FOR A THIRD, AGAIN GETTING TWO!
Continuously working over Styles’ back, Cena delivers a few suplexes, followed by a particularly vicious wheelbarrow suplex that folds AJ up like an accordion. He calls for a lariat, but Styles ducks, spinning around behind Cena for a GERMAN SUPLEX OF HIS OWN! Before Cena can even get up, AJ springs off the middle rope… STYLIN’ DDT CONNECTS! AJ hits his signature pose, feeling the energy of the crowd as he looks for the STYLES CLASH, BUT CENA SIMPLY MUSCLES HIM UP FOR AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOO! AJ struggles to get to his feet as Cena is poised to deliver another Attitude Adjustment, but AJ REVERSES INTO AN INVERTED DDT! Clutching his back, Styles makes his way to the apron, calling for a Phenomenal Forearm as a result of his uncertainty about lifting Cena up. He springs onto the top rope, and CENA PULLS THE REFEREE INTO THE WAY, AJ PAUSING ATOP THE ROPE… AND CENA TAKING OUT HIS FEET FROM UNDER HIM, FOLLOWING IT WITH AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! Styles is operating on instinct alone as he tries to keep going, Cena not even bothering to cover, but instead DELIVERING A HELLACIOUS LARIAT, BEHEADING STYLES! JESUS, WHAT A MANEUVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! JOHN CENA PICKS UP THE UNDERHANDED WIN!
John Cena def. AJ Styles (21:45)
Road to SummerSlam 2016
AJ comes out on Smackdown and cuts a promo about how he hates WWE ropes, just like he hates lucha ropes, and just like how he hates John Cena. He says he and John have a lot of history, and that last chapter was far from a satisfying one in their story - so he wants another go round at SummerSlam, and he wants to BEAT UP JOHN CENA! The Club back him up wholeheartedly, Gallows and Anderson promising to make sure that at SummerSlam, Cena can’t pull a fast one on the Phenomenal One. It’s Daniel Bryan who makes it official, a disgruntled Cena fairly disappointed to spend SummerSlam outside the title scene, but accepting that he’ll just have to beat AJ’s ass again. They have a face-to-face on the go-home show, both acknowledging their shared history, but Cena saying there’s a reason he got to make the big bucks earlier than Styles. He’s the star, the Franchise, and he’s proven it day in and day out for fourteen years, while AJ’s been having five star matches for a hot dog and a handshake - something that didn’t benefit him at all at Battleground. Styles fires back that Cena may have won his first Rumble, may have won the WWE Title at WrestleMania 27, but it was a long time before he beat the top guy - and AJ’s on pace to do so that much faster, because he’s going to put Cena in the dirt at SummerSlam. They do some additional posturing before Styles throws a punch, Cena going for a lariat before immediately ducking out as Gallows and Anderson appear.
SummerSlam 2016
John Cena vs. AJ Styles
Both men have something to prove heading into this one - while neither shies away from cheating at this point, they both want a clean, decisive victory to hold over the other’s head after so many years apart. It’s a lot of mat wrestling to start as they try to get the mental advantage early, Cena’s power and Styles’ speed and agility still being key on the ground as John tries to muscle AJ into submissions and AJ tries to snake around him and find the right opportunity to strike. Soon enough, John gets fed up and tries to powerbomb Styles through the ring, earning two. They keep the action strictly in the ring, trading holds, strikes and suplexes in equal measure before AJ starts taking to the skies, landing a Stylin’ DDT and starting to work over Cena’s legs. John keeps the offense focused on the back, but soon enough, Styles manages to CINCH IN THE CALF CRUSHER! Cena’s in trouble, and he desperately scrambles to the ropes, Styles more than happy to keep it in until four before releasing the hold and delivering a SPRINGBOARD 450 SPLASH! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOO!
Styles keeps the pressure on with a flurry of strikes, following it with an Ushigoroshi before calling for the Styles Clash, but Cena simply counters with a back body drop before unleashing a brutal series of backbreakers, followed by an ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOOO! Fed up, Cena dumps AJ onto the top turnbuckle, potentially going for his patented avalanche German, but Styles fights tooth and nail to avoid being dropped to the mat. He nails a sequence of elbows, and CALLS FOR A STYLES CLASH OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE, BUT CENA REVERSES… AVALANCHE ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THRE-STYLES KICKS OUT? HOW ON EARTH DID HE MANAGE TO GET THE SHOULDER UP? The Franchise is in a state of disbelief, but he elects to go for his massive lariat, waiting for Styles to get up before BEING SENT HEADLONG INTO THE RING POST BY AJ! Styles drags himself to the top rope as John lies starfished on the canvas… STYLES WITH A SPIRAL TAP, BUT CENA ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY, AJ SMACKING INTO THE MAT! CENA GETS HIM UP FOR ANOTHER ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, BUT AJ COUNTERS INTO A VICTORY ROLL! ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT, BUT HE NAILS A PELE KICK, STUMBLING TO THE APRON… PHENOMENAL FOREARM, AND NOW A STYLES CLASH! ONE! TWO! THREE! AJ STYLES HAS BEATEN JOHN CENA, CLEAN AS A WHISTLE!
AJ Styles def. John Cena (28:17)
Backlash 2016
Cena’s nowhere to be seen after SummerSlam, Styles celebrating his win and riding the wave into a title match with Dean Ambrose for Backlash - a match that he ekes out a win for, picking up his first WWE Championship at about the same rate as Cena. However, the party is crashed by the Franchise himself, with Cena running down and laying waste to both Ambrose and Styles, his two most heated rivals from the year thus far. He eyes up the WWE Title again, laying eyes on it for the first time since Payback, and it’s pretty clear where this needs to go.
Road to No Mercy 2016
On the SmackDown after Backlash, Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan reprimand Cena’s actions, but say that as he does have a win over Styles from Battleground, it makes sense for him to challenge for the WWE Championship, should AJ be willing to defend it against him. Styles comes out, brash as ever, but he’s interrupted by Dean Ambrose, who wants a rematch for the gold at No Mercy. AJ says he wants revenge against Cena, and Ambrose can get back in line, but McMahon makes the judgement call - at No Mercy, AJ will make his first defense of the gold in a triple threat match against Dean Ambrose and John Cena.
No Mercy 2016
WWE Title: John Cena vs. AJ Styles (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
It’s a blockbuster triple threat match to open the show, with Dean Ambrose the fan favourite looking to overcome the odds and reclaim the WWE championship against two outright villains in Styles and Cena. However, he doesn’t have to worry about AJ and John teaming up against him, because all three men in this bout loathe each other. Cena makes a beeline for Ambrose, and Ambrose makes a beeline for Cena, leading to AJ just rolling on out of the ring and letting the two enemies duke it out. Cena and Ambrose brawl around ringside, Cena going for an Attitude Adjustment on the outside, but AJ SPRINGING OFF THE BARRICADE FOR A PHENOMENAL FOREARM AS DEAN DROPS DOWN! Ambrose lays out Styles with a Thesz Press, sending the champion back in and going for Dirty Deeds, but AJ reverses into a Northern Lights Suplex, following it with a Pele Kick before going for a PHENOMENAL FOREARM, BUT AMBROSE HAS NO HESITATION IN KICKING OUT THE ROPE, CROTCHING AJ ON THE TOP BEFORE HITTING A DIRTY DEEDS! ONE! TWO! THRE-CENA SAVES IT, FLINGING AMBROSE TO THE FLOOR BEFORE HITTING STYLES WITH AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOW AMBROSE BREAKS IT UP, AND IT’S A HOCKEY FIGHT BETWEEN THE TWO CHALLENGERS! Ambrose gets the upper hand with his frantic striking and absurd resiliency, but Cena responds with a punch to the throat before DECAPITATING AMBROSE WITH A LARIAT, ONLY FOR STYLES TO SEND CENA TO THE OUTSIDE! Cena scrambles to his feet… AJ WITH A PHENOMENAL FOREARM TO THE FLOOR, LEAPING UP TO THE APRON FOR ANOTHER ONE TO AMBROSE! ONE! TWO! THREE! THE TRIPLE THREAT CURSE CONTINUES FOR JOHN CENA, BECAUSE AJ STYLES’ WWE TITLE REIGN LIVES TO SEE ANOTHER DAY!
AJ Styles def. John Cena and Dean Ambrose (23:06) to retain the WWE Title
Road to Survivor Series 2016
Naturally, John Cena’s a little sour coming out of No Mercy, but it’s Daniel Bryan who’s the first to reach out to him. He says Survivor Series is coming up, and it’s brand warfare, and Cena says he doesn’t care. However, Bryan keeps pressing - he says he and Cena have been through wars together, and he needs John Cena to represent SmackDown Live in the 5-on-5 elimination match. Cena might not be all about Hustle, Loyalty and Respect anymore, but he shouldn’t be giving up on this roster. If Cena wants to ever be the WWE Champion again, he’ll have to earn that opportunity, and he’ll have to be granted that shot by SmackDown’s management, so it might be a good idea to endear himself to them. John scoffs, standing up to tower over Bryan, when Bryan drops the big gun: he knows who’s on Team Raw.
This piques Cena’s interest, and Daniel says that they’ve got Chris Jericho, who Cena’s fought against before over World Titles. Cena doesn’t really care about the list man. They’ve got Kevin Owens, the Universal Champion, who Cena went to war with in 2015 and ended up falling short against. NOW Cena’s interested, but not interested enough to commit. They’ve got Seth Rollins, the Architect who stole Cena’s victory at WrestleMania 31. Cena’s intrigue is only growing. They’ve got Roman Reigns, who Cena duked it out with over the WWE Championship on the Road To WrestleMania this year, including at the show of shows itself. Cena looks like he’s about to cave at the opportunity to beat the tar out of these guys, but finally, Bryan says that their last man… is Samoa Joe, the ever-lasting thorn in Cena’s side. Cena’s in. He’ll brave teaming with Ambrose and Styles for one night if it means getting to beat those guys - as long as he gets a title match out of it. Bryan agrees, so long as Cena is a survivor at the end of the night, which the Franchise vows to be. He shoulder checks Bryan on the way out for leveraging him, but at the end of the night, Cena gets what he wants.
Survivor Series 2016
Elimination Match: Team SmackDown Live (John Cena, AJ Styles, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose and Randy Orton) vs. Team Raw (Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Roman Reigns, Samoa Joe and Seth Rollins)
It’s an all-timer lineup for this one, perhaps the most star-studded lineup to ever grace Survivor Series, and it’s AJ and Joe starting us off, kicking off what could be a fun inter-brand feud down the line as they take a walk down memory lane. Soon enough, Owens tags in to work opposite the WWE Champion, with the company’s two top champs trading blows and Styles getting the upper hand, forcing Owens to tag Jericho. We get some Y2AJ payoff, Styles taking the fight to Jericho before eating a shocking Codebreaker for two, putting Styles on his heels. He tags in Bray, not wanting to interact with Cena or Ambrose, and Wyatt works opposite Reigns, leading to Cena tagging himself in and RUSHING ROMAN WITH A FLURRY OF OFFENSE! He backs Reigns up into the corner and unleashes on him, Roman managing to shove him away before it turns into a huge brawl, all ten men joining the fray as the referee tries to gain control. Seth tags in, but with the referee occupied, Cena has the opportunity to go low and get the upper hand before NAILING AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT FOR TWO! Joe goes after Cena, which is enough to get the Franchise to nope out of the ring. Let Orton handle that or something. Slowly but surely, everyone cycles in, and once the first elimination strikes in the form of a Dirty Deeds to Chris Jericho, the floodgates open.
Dean Ambrose eliminates Chris Jericho by pinfall (5-4)
Owens immediately jumps Ambrose, Orton fighting the Universal Champion off for long enough to leave Ambrose in the ring with Styles. Reigns and Rollins spot their opening, leaping in to stand up to AJ, and Cena can’t help himself as he blindsides Reigns. It turns into a free-for-all, with the Shield ganging up to take out the completely fragmented Styles and Cena, with Bryan on commentary screaming at Ambrose to not take out Smackdown’s guys. Dean shrugs to him, and now STYLES THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE WITH A TRIPLE POWERBOMB, BUT CENA SMASHES AMBROSE WITH A CHAIR! IS THAT A DQ? IT’S HIS OWN TEAMMATE! The referee doesn’t really know what to do, and Cena takes advantage by tackling Seth through the barricade and even managing to get an ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT ON REIGNS, BUT AN OPPORTUNE OWENS SENDS AMBROSE AND STYLES BACK IN FOR TWO STRAIGHT POP-UP POWERBOMBS! ONE! TWO! THREE! AMBROSE IS GONE!
Kevin Owens eliminates Dean Ambrose by pinfall (4-4)
NOW HE PINS STYLES… ONE! TWO! THREE!
Kevin Owens eliminates AJ Styles by pinfall (3-4)
OWENS IS ON TOP OF THE WORLD, BUT NOW RANDY ORTON WITH A PUNT ATTEMPT, ONLY TO BE THROWN OUT OF THE RING AS CENA SLIPS IN BEHIND OWENS TO DELIVER A HUGE LARIAT! ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! ONE! TWO! THREE!
John Cena eliminates Kevin Owens by pinfall (3-3)
Cena shouts out to Daniel Bryan that he shouldn’t worry about losing Ambrose and AJ, because the real champ, the Franchise, is right here. He can solo the Shield, nevermind having Orton and Bray by his side, so he advises the SmackDown GM to shut his damn mouth and let him take care of business… AND ROMAN REIGNS LEVELS HIM WITH A SPEAR! ONE! TWO! THRE-BRAY WITH THE SAVE! Wyatt nails a Sister Abigail and tosses Reigns aside, heaving Cena’s lifeless body to the home corner and insisting he tag in, but a cocky Cena disregards it, staggering up to his feet as REIGNS MAKES THE HOT TAG TO JOE! CENA CHARGES IN WITH A LARIAT, BUT JOE SLIPS RIGHT UNDER FOR AN ST-JOE! ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT BY CENA, BUT THE SAMOAN SUBMISSION MACHINE SLIPS STRAIGHT INTO A COQUINA CLUTCH! THE FRANCHISE HAS NOWHERE TO GO… CENA TAPS OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS WWE CAREER!
Samoa Joe eliminates John Cena by submission (2-3)
In the end, The Wyatt Family manage to clutch against Reigns, Rollins and Joe once infighting befalls Team Raw (kicking off a Joe and Reigns feud), but John Cena sure as hell isn’t getting a shot at the WWE Title at TLC like he’d hoped, and Samoa Joe has one more win to dangle over him.
Team SmackDown Live def. Team Raw (57:46)
Backstage, as the fanfare begins for Goldberg vs. Lesnar, Cena is seen completely beside himself, shouting at Bryan and Shane about all sorts of people - Bryan himself, Rollins, Reigns, Ambrose, Joe, Owens and Styles. Finally, he storms out of the building, telling Bryan where he can stick his management-approved title match. While before, he’d had a target on his back and all sorts of enemies as the Face of the WWE, he’s now got enemies everywhere he looks as he tries to climb his way back up, no matter what it takes.
2024.06.04 22:36 -prettytothink- Some ways to make friends in Austin
I write for a local newsletter, and I was inspired to put together this list of how to meet people in Austin in part by questions I've seen on this sub. I thought I'd share it here; maybe it'll give y'all some friend-making ideas. And if you have anything I missed, it'd be great to hear your suggestions too.
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If you’re an extrovert with no social anxiety, any show or fest can be an opportunity to make new friends, + that sounds very convenient for you! For the rest of us, this list focuses on spaces and events that have small-group socializing built into them—or, at the very least, spaces and events where the barrier to striking up conversation is lower than usual, and a topic of conversation is readily apparent.
Meeting people is hard, and it can be even harder for non-drinkers. We’ve included some intentionally sober socializing options here. Where we know that an event on this list happens in a place with alcohol, we called that out specifically.
This list is by no means exhaustive! Here’s what we’ve got:
Make art. Collage + Connect is a chill collage-making workshop held at various art galleries and shops. Queer Craft Night is a bi-weekly gathering for queer creatives to work on art in community, held in coffee shops and bars. Make at Rosie is a creative makerspace where you can become a member and stop by on your own time, or attend public crafting workshops and supply swaps. Austin Creative Reuse is a community space offering tons of artsy workshops and volunteer opportunities.
Drink a nonalcoholic beverage. Sans Bar offers traditional bar activities like trivia, karaoke, + drag in a welcoming alcohol-free space with sophisticated NA cocktails. West China Tea is a communal tea room where you can always sit down at a big table and join in on an ongoing conversation about tea or travel or tarot or who knows what.
Attend a creative networking event. Creative Mornings hosts a monthly meetup in which a local creative gives an inspiring talk, and then everyone chats over coffee and breakfast tacos. Future Front runs a variety of summertime community clubs, each based around a specific theme or intention. The Austin Salon starts out with an expert’s talk about a social, political, and/or economic topic, followed by small-group conversations involving all the attendees. It’s held in a private home with free alcoholic and NA drinks available.
Read a book. Paperback Pictures Club launched recently; it meets once a month to discuss a book and watch a film based on it. At Silent Book Club, you bring and read your own book—silently, yes, but you have a built-in conversation starter with strangers. (i.e. “What are you reading?”) SBC generally meets at bars and breweries.
Move your body. We don’t run (except under duress), but if you do, there are many running clubs, including Northern-Southern’s Artist Run Club (visit an art gallery, then go for a run!) and Comedor Run Club (geared at folks in the service industry). There are also plenty of group bike rides, including those led by Team Snacks and Bikin’ Betties (both cycling clubs for people who identify as women, trans, femme, or NB), Sunday Morning Cruises, Critical Mass (on the last Friday of every month), and loads of rides through Social Cycling Austin. Our favorite is the Thursday Night Social Ride, which happens every single week and can attract a massive number of riders. Meanwhile Austin Sports + Social Club offers tons of team sports and Austin Community Soccer Association offers adult rec soccer teams at all levels, if you’re into ball-sports. Some of these games + bike rides conclude at a bar, but the events themselves are outside.
Play a game. Tiny Minotaur is an immersive space (+ also a bar) for LARPing and TTRPGs. Game stores are great places for this: Toy Joy runs Dungeons and Dragons games every Monday; Vigilante Bar (which, as the name suggests, is a bar) runs a “100+ person ongoing mega D+D campaign” on Mondays and Tuesdays; Tribe Comics + Games has open games nights every weeknight; Dragon’s Lair offers more games than I can keep track of; and you can find plenty of other local gaming opportunities on the Austin Role Players subreddit. There are even events specifically for geeks of the lady+ variety. Meanwhile, the Museum of Human Achievement hosts a monthly event called Games Y’all showcasing indie games and digital art projects from the local community.
Take a class. Fallout, Hideout, and ColdTowne all offer classes in improv, sketch comedy, and standup. (I did improv classes at ColdTowne and met lots of interesting people!) Learn filmmaking skills in small group classes at Austin Film School. The Lumber Society (held at a combination coffee shop + bar) teaches skills that will be useful in the approaching apocalypse, like how to build a fire or purify water or other things that I personally do not know how to do. Plus they give out badges!
submitted by -prettytothink- to Austin [link] [comments]
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If you’re an extrovert with no social anxiety, any show or fest can be an opportunity to make new friends, + that sounds very convenient for you! For the rest of us, this list focuses on spaces and events that have small-group socializing built into them—or, at the very least, spaces and events where the barrier to striking up conversation is lower than usual, and a topic of conversation is readily apparent.
Meeting people is hard, and it can be even harder for non-drinkers. We’ve included some intentionally sober socializing options here. Where we know that an event on this list happens in a place with alcohol, we called that out specifically.
This list is by no means exhaustive! Here’s what we’ve got:
Make art. Collage + Connect is a chill collage-making workshop held at various art galleries and shops. Queer Craft Night is a bi-weekly gathering for queer creatives to work on art in community, held in coffee shops and bars. Make at Rosie is a creative makerspace where you can become a member and stop by on your own time, or attend public crafting workshops and supply swaps. Austin Creative Reuse is a community space offering tons of artsy workshops and volunteer opportunities.
Drink a nonalcoholic beverage. Sans Bar offers traditional bar activities like trivia, karaoke, + drag in a welcoming alcohol-free space with sophisticated NA cocktails. West China Tea is a communal tea room where you can always sit down at a big table and join in on an ongoing conversation about tea or travel or tarot or who knows what.
Attend a creative networking event. Creative Mornings hosts a monthly meetup in which a local creative gives an inspiring talk, and then everyone chats over coffee and breakfast tacos. Future Front runs a variety of summertime community clubs, each based around a specific theme or intention. The Austin Salon starts out with an expert’s talk about a social, political, and/or economic topic, followed by small-group conversations involving all the attendees. It’s held in a private home with free alcoholic and NA drinks available.
Read a book. Paperback Pictures Club launched recently; it meets once a month to discuss a book and watch a film based on it. At Silent Book Club, you bring and read your own book—silently, yes, but you have a built-in conversation starter with strangers. (i.e. “What are you reading?”) SBC generally meets at bars and breweries.
Move your body. We don’t run (except under duress), but if you do, there are many running clubs, including Northern-Southern’s Artist Run Club (visit an art gallery, then go for a run!) and Comedor Run Club (geared at folks in the service industry). There are also plenty of group bike rides, including those led by Team Snacks and Bikin’ Betties (both cycling clubs for people who identify as women, trans, femme, or NB), Sunday Morning Cruises, Critical Mass (on the last Friday of every month), and loads of rides through Social Cycling Austin. Our favorite is the Thursday Night Social Ride, which happens every single week and can attract a massive number of riders. Meanwhile Austin Sports + Social Club offers tons of team sports and Austin Community Soccer Association offers adult rec soccer teams at all levels, if you’re into ball-sports. Some of these games + bike rides conclude at a bar, but the events themselves are outside.
Play a game. Tiny Minotaur is an immersive space (+ also a bar) for LARPing and TTRPGs. Game stores are great places for this: Toy Joy runs Dungeons and Dragons games every Monday; Vigilante Bar (which, as the name suggests, is a bar) runs a “100+ person ongoing mega D+D campaign” on Mondays and Tuesdays; Tribe Comics + Games has open games nights every weeknight; Dragon’s Lair offers more games than I can keep track of; and you can find plenty of other local gaming opportunities on the Austin Role Players subreddit. There are even events specifically for geeks of the lady+ variety. Meanwhile, the Museum of Human Achievement hosts a monthly event called Games Y’all showcasing indie games and digital art projects from the local community.
Take a class. Fallout, Hideout, and ColdTowne all offer classes in improv, sketch comedy, and standup. (I did improv classes at ColdTowne and met lots of interesting people!) Learn filmmaking skills in small group classes at Austin Film School. The Lumber Society (held at a combination coffee shop + bar) teaches skills that will be useful in the approaching apocalypse, like how to build a fire or purify water or other things that I personally do not know how to do. Plus they give out badges!
2024.06.04 22:35 Auzune More and more people around my age (26F) are getting into serious relationships lately, and I’m starting to really yearn for a relationship as well.
This is going to be really long, so bear with me if you are going to read it.
During most of my life, I never cared much about relationships, and I was rarely attracted to anyone anyway, so I didn’t think much about this topic. I didn’t even kiss anyone until age 21, and I didn’t date or have sex until age 22 (with the same person I kissed for the first time). I’m always single and celibate, because I don’t have casual sex either. This is mostly voluntary, because I have high standards, I’m rarely attracted to anyone, I’m used to this situation and I would rather be single forever than date someone just for the sake of it. But it’s also involuntary because every time I like someone, either that person doesn’t like me back or it’s a right person/wrong time or place kind of thing.
As I get older this situation is starting to bother me more. I used to assume “well, I will find someone eventually, and if I don’t, that’s okay too”, but in the last couple of years, many people I know got into serious relationships. The exception is my main group of friends, where everyone is chronically single except for one girl. But when it comes to my former group of friends at uni, out of 8 girls (including myself), 5 or 6 are in a relationship.
I’m a member of a youth association that exists all over Europe, and among other things, they organise weekend events and trips. There are many single people in this association (I would say that most are, but it’s impossible to know considering that they are hundreds of people) but more and more couples are popping out. Also, in the last two places I was working in, I was the only single person on the team. That makes me feel lonely, and also, I’m at an age where groups of friends stop being as important because many people are focusing in romantic relationships instead.
I’m quite sad about this right now, because this weekend I met my ex after a long time and that brought back old memories. To sum up, we first met in an event of this association I mentioned that lasted a whole weekend. He was the first person I ever kissed, just a few hours after meeting for the first time. Because he lived hundreds of kilometers away, I didn’t see him until a few months later, but we started having a fling and we met again several times until we decided to start officially dating. However, we were only a couple for less than 3 months, because as soon as it became an official and “serious” relationship, we realised that the distance was a problem, especially because we didn’t see a future or and ending to that distance. It’s important to mention that during lockdown we weren’t dating yet, but we already had a fling and we texted every day, so we started facetiming several times a week, and that’s when we started getting closer. Also, because it was lockdown, there wasn’t a big difference between being long distance or being in the same city. So, even if the official relationship lasted less than 3 months, the whole fling lasted for a year.
We stayed in contact after breaking up, and we still face timed occasionally, until we eventually stopped face timing around a year after having broken up, but we still texted sometimes. A year and a half after breaking up, I travelled to a town near his city. I had to take the bus back home in his city, and I had a few hours of waiting before taking the bus, so I ask him to meet. This was out first time seeing each other in person since we broke up, and I was unsure about whether we should meet, because I thought it could be awkward, but everything went smoothly and we still could joke and talk about anything. This was two years ago, and we were both single at the moment. So far, I hadn’t even kissed anyone else since we broke up, and he said that he had a couple of hookups, but he hadn’t dated anyone else either. After this, we didn’t meet in person again until last weekend (I will go back to this later), but we occasionally texted. I didn’t have news about him for several months, because we talked a bit in July 2022, and we didn’t talk again until November of December 2022, when he texted me asking how was I doing. He told me then that he was dating a girl he met in summer. I was expecting it because I saw that he uploaded a few stories to Instagram with a girl, and he usually never uploads anything. When he told me, I honestly felt happy for him, and I realised that even if we were in the same city, I don’t think I would be interested in dating him again.
At the beginning of 2023, I had a fling with a guy that lasted 3 or 4 months, although most of it was long distance, because a couple of weeks after we met, I moved abroad for half a year. I don’t think it would have lasted longer even if I was still at home because it was a bit of random fling and I wasn’t that interested in him either, but it was fun while it lasted. Then, last summer I met a guy I was interested in on a trip of this association abroad, but he didn’t seem interested in me, so nothing happened. And last November, in another trip abroad of this association (of course), I met a guy who was clearly interested in me, and he even asked me the first night whether I was single or not after we were dancing for a while, but I wasn’t sure about what to do, because I thought that he was handsome and kind, but I didn’t feel that much chemistry with him compared to the guy in summer with whom nothing happened or my ex fling and my ex-boyfriend, because I felt instant chemistry with both of them. But the fifth and last night of the trip, I thought “fuck it, it’s now or never”, so just before he had to leave, we kissed. That was the last time I kissed anyone, because during New Year, I was again travelling for a week through this association, and the guy I was interested in in summer was there too. To sum up, something almost happened between us: we slow danced for like an hour, we held hands for a while and we even slept in the same bed one night, but we never kissed, because when I tried to initiate it when we were slow dancing, he didn’t seem to go for it. When I talked with him about this a couple of days later, he said that nothing happened and that he wasn’t looking for anything to happen, which I don’t understand, because he was the one who initiated whatever happened the second night of this trip.
Fast forward to last weekend, I was part of the organising team of a local weekend event of this association, and I was promoting it to people I know from other cities that are also members. Because I had been recently talking to my ex about something else, I sent him the information as well, and he decided to come. I was looking forward to see him, but also a bit nervous, but since there would be many people in the event, I thought that it would be okay. Before we met the other people in the group, the two of us met for lunch. Among other things, he told me that he was living with his current girlfriend and that they had a cat together. I knew that he had met his girlfriend in a trip of this association in summer 2022, but I didn’t know anything else, in fact, I didn’t even know whether they were still together or not, and I wasn’t expecting to hear that they lived together. He told me then that when they started dating, his girlfriend was studying in a city that it’s around 3 hours away by car from his, in fact, this city is in a middle point between mine and his, so when we were getting to know each other four years ago we spent a weekend there because it was convenient for us, and when we broke up, we even mentioned that if the distance between us was this instead of double, we wouldn’t have broken up, because it would be easy to meet every couple of weeks, and for any of us to eventually move if the relationship had progressed, because it’s not that much of a big deal to move to a place that it’s 3 hours away from home. He also said that they met every two weeks until she eventually moved to his city once she finished her studies, so it was even more ironic. After hearing this, I couldn’t help to experiment a mix of feelings that I’m not exactly sure I can identify. On the one hand, I feel happy for him, because he found someone he loves. On the other hand, I can’t help to think about “what if”. When he was dating me, he quickly gave up on trying to make the relationship work despite the distance, but with this girl, there was also distance during the first year, or at least the first months, but it seems that he took it more seriously. I know that these feelings are irrational, because the situation was very different: the girl wasn’t from that city, she was only there until she finished her studies, so it’s not like she had a life there that she didn’t want to give up; the distance was half, and it’s a place where you can easily take a bus or drive; and he didn’t broke up with me: I was having the exact same thoughts and doubts about the relationship, so the decision was mutual. But still, I can’t help to feel a bit sad about the fact that they are living together, not because I want to be with him, but because that means that the relationship is serious, and that since we broke up, he managed to found someone else and settle down, while I’m practically in the same place I was four years ago. Thinking about it rationally, I realise that it’s not true: in the last four years, I finished my Bachelor’s, got a Master’s degree, got my driving license, lived abroad for half a year, I met new friends, I travelled a lot, I gained some work experience and I learnt new languages, to name some things, but it doesn’t feel like those were big changes, and right now, I don’t feel like my life is that different from my life 10 years ago: I’m living with my parents in my home town, I don’t have any money, I’m unemployed, I never had a big style or hairstyle change, so I looked the same, and apart from the people from this association, the people I meet the most are the same friends as always, some of them have been friends since childhood, which it’s of course a good thing, but I really want to have some emotion in my daily life, because although I’ve lived many exciting adventures, most of them happened when I was travelling. Thankfully, I will start a new job next week. I was starting to feel depressed after I lost my previous job three months ago, so at least that big worry of my life will be solved soon, especially considering that the new salary and work conditions are great, and that the job seems interesting.
So, going back to the ex thing and the event this weekend, I had a lot of fun, and I enjoyed meeting him again. But when I came back home yesterday, these thoughts hit me and I felt this wave of weird mixed emotions I mentioned. One the one hand, this weird feeling of “what if?”, “why did it worked out with her and not with me?”, despite knowing that it’s irrational, plus the thing about him having moved on in life while I’m stuck, at least when it comes to my personal life. Also, since the last time I saw him in person was two years ago, when he was still single, and just for a few hours, and the last time before that we were together, it’s weird to see him now as someone else’s boyfriend. Since he’s the only person I’ve actually dated, I don’t have anyone else to compare him with. Sometimes I replay in my head the good moments we spent together, not in a “I miss him” way, but more in a “I’m happy I got to experienced this” way, and when I crave making out, cuddling or having a date with someone, I think about when I used to do those things with him, because I didn’t experience those things with many more people. I sometimes replay in my head the experiences I had with the fling guy from last year, but because the relationship was not as significant and I was never really in love with him, not as often.
Even if my ex was single, I don’t think I would want to do anything with him now if the occasion came up, mostly because it would be awkward and confusing, but also because I am not really attracted to him anymore, but at the same time, there is still a slight attraction that remains for two reasons: the complicity and intimacy we still have even after years apart, because of our past story; and the fact that the only reason why we broke up was the distance, and not problems in the relationship. I’m not sure if I’m explaining myself, because it’s a weird feeling. It’s like that past attraction cooled down, but didn’t completely disappear, and I could tell when this weekend we made some inside joke and had visual contact. Therefore, I think that in the hypothetical scenario of both of us being single and living in the same city, maybe we would eventually start wanting do date each other again (not right away), or maybe not, but I know that it’s not a 0% probability. After all, he is someone I was in love in, who knew me well, with whom I lived significant experiences that I cherish, so when I met him this weekend, I remembered all of that. It’s kinda when I see old pictures of friends I completely lost contact with, and I suddenly remember them after a long time without thinking about them, and then I feel nostalgic and think about what good times we had, but at the same time, I don’t feel like meeting them now because those experiences are in the past and it wouldn’t be the same.
So yeah, even if I felt comfortable with him this weekend and I could talk with him about anything, I’m feeling this weird mix of emotions, and I have to admit that the fact that he is living with his girlfriend affected me even if it’s an stupid feeling, for two reasons: that means that the relationship is serious, so he moved on and settled down, while I never dated anyone else; and it’s really weird to think about him being someone else’s boyfriend, because all my memories of him are tied to our fling and eventual relationship. This made me realise that the reason why I can be friends with him and be comfortable is because the occasions I saw him again after breaking up, it was just the two of us or the two of us plus people from this association, but I never saw him with his girlfriend, so if we lived in the same city, he would be a friend I would meet occasionally, but we couldn’t be part of the same group of friends.
Setting apart the topic about my ex and going back to the general topic about relationships, like I said, I feel like I really want to date someone now, but I don’t know what to do. Much of the advice I see online for people who can’t get into relationships doesn’t apply to me. A piece of advice that always comes up is to work out, both in order to get fit and for its mental benefits, but I already work out and I’m physically fit, and in general, I know that the problem is not my physical appearance. I know I’m not by any means gorgeous, but I’ve been told that I’m “cute” by a fair amount of people. Another piece of advice that gets repeat constantly is to “put yourself out there” and that “you are not going to meet anyone if you stay in your room”, but that’s not my case either. I mentioned a lot this association, in which I’m quite active, and I met many people all around Europe and travelled a fair amount thanks to it. Everyone tells me that I’m such an active and enthusiastic person, that I “never stop”, that I have so many interests and that I’m always making plans. However, the thing is that there is not that much balance in my life: one week I can be travelling, living amazing experiences and being social talking to everyone, and the next week I can be at home just talking to my parents and meeting a couple of friends on the weekend and that’s it, and to have a pretty chill and not very social life during the following weeks until the next big plan. Of course, it’s normal to have chill weekends and to feel less social sometimes, but what I lack is a more consistent social life in my daily life. I met so many people in my trips with whom I quickly became friends and with whom I would love to hang out as a group of friends, but we can’t because they live too far away. Also, most of the people I was attracted to live far away as well. My main group of friends is getting smaller every year, and to be honest, I’m fed up with the behaviour of some of them. On the one hand, most don’t care enough about meeting or making plans, and on the other hand, I don’t share values and important opinions with a few of them. I know that the solution is to do more stuff back home and to be as social in my daily life as I’m when I’m abroad, but I feel like it’s so much harder to be social and to open up myself in my daily life, because I already have a routine, it’s not as exciting, and you are not spending the whole day with these people as I do when I travel or when I go to events. For example, I go to the gym, I study languages and I do swing dancing lessons, but everyone in the gym is doing their own thing and once the language class is finished, everyone is back to their own thing, and we don’t hang out after that. The swing lessons thing, I think it has more potential to meet friends, because they organise social dancings almost weekly. I joined these lessons with my best friend, and we still haven’t been to a social dancing because we are beginners, but next weekend there is a dancing event that we will join with another couple of people from our classes, so that will be fun for sure.
To sum up, I know that my problem to overcome when it comes to social relationships is that I’m too distant and my avoidant personality. It’s easy for me to do small talk or to hang out in a group, but I struggle to keep long term friendships or to actually become close to someone and to be more than just a casual friend, and when it comes to romantic relationships, I honestly have no clue about how to act. The only three people I kissed in my life, I met them in a party, and it’s much easier to talk to anyone in a party, rather than just texting them or suddenly asking them to hang out. That’s also the reason why I never used dating apps and I want to avoid them if possible: I suck at texting, and I get really nervous if some stranger starts texting me, plus, I don’t know if I like them or not, because in order to be attracted to someone, I need three things: to be physically attracted to them, to like their personality and to feel chemistry with them, and this last thing is impossible to feel without meeting in person. Plus, I feel that using a dating app is forcing stuff, it kinda feels like LinkedIn, but on the other hand, maybe it’s necessary to force things a bit instead of letting them to “just happen”, because if you are like me, that will rarely happen. And last, I’m not easily attracted to most people, so it’s really difficult to find someone that I really like and that the other person likes me back. By the way, I didn’t mention, but in theory I’m bisexual, I say in theory because I know I’m attracted to women as well, but I never felt in love with a woman, I never did anything with one and lately, when I was imagining the relationship I would like to have, I imagine a man most of the time, but that’s probably because I was only with men and because of heteronormativity and internalised homophobia.
I’m not really looking for advice, because I know the reason why I’m chronically single and celibate is my avoidant personality and the fact that I don’t actively do anything in order to get one, but I don’t really know how to act about this. For starters, I know that I need to open my social circle and to be as social and active in my daily life as I’m abroad, but that doesn’t guarantee that you will end up finding someone you like (and who likes you back). Most of the people around me met their partners organically, not because they were looking for it. My ex met his current girlfriend on one of these trips, a friend from uni started dating another classmate from uni with whom she was friends since first year, another friend from uni met her boyfriend (the first one as far as I know) when she went abroad for a few months during her PhD, many others met through this association, or through common friends. As far as I know, I can only think about two couples in my circle who met through dating apps.
Anyway, I know that this was long as fuck and that probably no one will read it, but I just needed to write down these feelings and share them.
submitted by Auzune to emotionalsupport [link] [comments]
During most of my life, I never cared much about relationships, and I was rarely attracted to anyone anyway, so I didn’t think much about this topic. I didn’t even kiss anyone until age 21, and I didn’t date or have sex until age 22 (with the same person I kissed for the first time). I’m always single and celibate, because I don’t have casual sex either. This is mostly voluntary, because I have high standards, I’m rarely attracted to anyone, I’m used to this situation and I would rather be single forever than date someone just for the sake of it. But it’s also involuntary because every time I like someone, either that person doesn’t like me back or it’s a right person/wrong time or place kind of thing.
As I get older this situation is starting to bother me more. I used to assume “well, I will find someone eventually, and if I don’t, that’s okay too”, but in the last couple of years, many people I know got into serious relationships. The exception is my main group of friends, where everyone is chronically single except for one girl. But when it comes to my former group of friends at uni, out of 8 girls (including myself), 5 or 6 are in a relationship.
I’m a member of a youth association that exists all over Europe, and among other things, they organise weekend events and trips. There are many single people in this association (I would say that most are, but it’s impossible to know considering that they are hundreds of people) but more and more couples are popping out. Also, in the last two places I was working in, I was the only single person on the team. That makes me feel lonely, and also, I’m at an age where groups of friends stop being as important because many people are focusing in romantic relationships instead.
I’m quite sad about this right now, because this weekend I met my ex after a long time and that brought back old memories. To sum up, we first met in an event of this association I mentioned that lasted a whole weekend. He was the first person I ever kissed, just a few hours after meeting for the first time. Because he lived hundreds of kilometers away, I didn’t see him until a few months later, but we started having a fling and we met again several times until we decided to start officially dating. However, we were only a couple for less than 3 months, because as soon as it became an official and “serious” relationship, we realised that the distance was a problem, especially because we didn’t see a future or and ending to that distance. It’s important to mention that during lockdown we weren’t dating yet, but we already had a fling and we texted every day, so we started facetiming several times a week, and that’s when we started getting closer. Also, because it was lockdown, there wasn’t a big difference between being long distance or being in the same city. So, even if the official relationship lasted less than 3 months, the whole fling lasted for a year.
We stayed in contact after breaking up, and we still face timed occasionally, until we eventually stopped face timing around a year after having broken up, but we still texted sometimes. A year and a half after breaking up, I travelled to a town near his city. I had to take the bus back home in his city, and I had a few hours of waiting before taking the bus, so I ask him to meet. This was out first time seeing each other in person since we broke up, and I was unsure about whether we should meet, because I thought it could be awkward, but everything went smoothly and we still could joke and talk about anything. This was two years ago, and we were both single at the moment. So far, I hadn’t even kissed anyone else since we broke up, and he said that he had a couple of hookups, but he hadn’t dated anyone else either. After this, we didn’t meet in person again until last weekend (I will go back to this later), but we occasionally texted. I didn’t have news about him for several months, because we talked a bit in July 2022, and we didn’t talk again until November of December 2022, when he texted me asking how was I doing. He told me then that he was dating a girl he met in summer. I was expecting it because I saw that he uploaded a few stories to Instagram with a girl, and he usually never uploads anything. When he told me, I honestly felt happy for him, and I realised that even if we were in the same city, I don’t think I would be interested in dating him again.
At the beginning of 2023, I had a fling with a guy that lasted 3 or 4 months, although most of it was long distance, because a couple of weeks after we met, I moved abroad for half a year. I don’t think it would have lasted longer even if I was still at home because it was a bit of random fling and I wasn’t that interested in him either, but it was fun while it lasted. Then, last summer I met a guy I was interested in on a trip of this association abroad, but he didn’t seem interested in me, so nothing happened. And last November, in another trip abroad of this association (of course), I met a guy who was clearly interested in me, and he even asked me the first night whether I was single or not after we were dancing for a while, but I wasn’t sure about what to do, because I thought that he was handsome and kind, but I didn’t feel that much chemistry with him compared to the guy in summer with whom nothing happened or my ex fling and my ex-boyfriend, because I felt instant chemistry with both of them. But the fifth and last night of the trip, I thought “fuck it, it’s now or never”, so just before he had to leave, we kissed. That was the last time I kissed anyone, because during New Year, I was again travelling for a week through this association, and the guy I was interested in in summer was there too. To sum up, something almost happened between us: we slow danced for like an hour, we held hands for a while and we even slept in the same bed one night, but we never kissed, because when I tried to initiate it when we were slow dancing, he didn’t seem to go for it. When I talked with him about this a couple of days later, he said that nothing happened and that he wasn’t looking for anything to happen, which I don’t understand, because he was the one who initiated whatever happened the second night of this trip.
Fast forward to last weekend, I was part of the organising team of a local weekend event of this association, and I was promoting it to people I know from other cities that are also members. Because I had been recently talking to my ex about something else, I sent him the information as well, and he decided to come. I was looking forward to see him, but also a bit nervous, but since there would be many people in the event, I thought that it would be okay. Before we met the other people in the group, the two of us met for lunch. Among other things, he told me that he was living with his current girlfriend and that they had a cat together. I knew that he had met his girlfriend in a trip of this association in summer 2022, but I didn’t know anything else, in fact, I didn’t even know whether they were still together or not, and I wasn’t expecting to hear that they lived together. He told me then that when they started dating, his girlfriend was studying in a city that it’s around 3 hours away by car from his, in fact, this city is in a middle point between mine and his, so when we were getting to know each other four years ago we spent a weekend there because it was convenient for us, and when we broke up, we even mentioned that if the distance between us was this instead of double, we wouldn’t have broken up, because it would be easy to meet every couple of weeks, and for any of us to eventually move if the relationship had progressed, because it’s not that much of a big deal to move to a place that it’s 3 hours away from home. He also said that they met every two weeks until she eventually moved to his city once she finished her studies, so it was even more ironic. After hearing this, I couldn’t help to experiment a mix of feelings that I’m not exactly sure I can identify. On the one hand, I feel happy for him, because he found someone he loves. On the other hand, I can’t help to think about “what if”. When he was dating me, he quickly gave up on trying to make the relationship work despite the distance, but with this girl, there was also distance during the first year, or at least the first months, but it seems that he took it more seriously. I know that these feelings are irrational, because the situation was very different: the girl wasn’t from that city, she was only there until she finished her studies, so it’s not like she had a life there that she didn’t want to give up; the distance was half, and it’s a place where you can easily take a bus or drive; and he didn’t broke up with me: I was having the exact same thoughts and doubts about the relationship, so the decision was mutual. But still, I can’t help to feel a bit sad about the fact that they are living together, not because I want to be with him, but because that means that the relationship is serious, and that since we broke up, he managed to found someone else and settle down, while I’m practically in the same place I was four years ago. Thinking about it rationally, I realise that it’s not true: in the last four years, I finished my Bachelor’s, got a Master’s degree, got my driving license, lived abroad for half a year, I met new friends, I travelled a lot, I gained some work experience and I learnt new languages, to name some things, but it doesn’t feel like those were big changes, and right now, I don’t feel like my life is that different from my life 10 years ago: I’m living with my parents in my home town, I don’t have any money, I’m unemployed, I never had a big style or hairstyle change, so I looked the same, and apart from the people from this association, the people I meet the most are the same friends as always, some of them have been friends since childhood, which it’s of course a good thing, but I really want to have some emotion in my daily life, because although I’ve lived many exciting adventures, most of them happened when I was travelling. Thankfully, I will start a new job next week. I was starting to feel depressed after I lost my previous job three months ago, so at least that big worry of my life will be solved soon, especially considering that the new salary and work conditions are great, and that the job seems interesting.
So, going back to the ex thing and the event this weekend, I had a lot of fun, and I enjoyed meeting him again. But when I came back home yesterday, these thoughts hit me and I felt this wave of weird mixed emotions I mentioned. One the one hand, this weird feeling of “what if?”, “why did it worked out with her and not with me?”, despite knowing that it’s irrational, plus the thing about him having moved on in life while I’m stuck, at least when it comes to my personal life. Also, since the last time I saw him in person was two years ago, when he was still single, and just for a few hours, and the last time before that we were together, it’s weird to see him now as someone else’s boyfriend. Since he’s the only person I’ve actually dated, I don’t have anyone else to compare him with. Sometimes I replay in my head the good moments we spent together, not in a “I miss him” way, but more in a “I’m happy I got to experienced this” way, and when I crave making out, cuddling or having a date with someone, I think about when I used to do those things with him, because I didn’t experience those things with many more people. I sometimes replay in my head the experiences I had with the fling guy from last year, but because the relationship was not as significant and I was never really in love with him, not as often.
Even if my ex was single, I don’t think I would want to do anything with him now if the occasion came up, mostly because it would be awkward and confusing, but also because I am not really attracted to him anymore, but at the same time, there is still a slight attraction that remains for two reasons: the complicity and intimacy we still have even after years apart, because of our past story; and the fact that the only reason why we broke up was the distance, and not problems in the relationship. I’m not sure if I’m explaining myself, because it’s a weird feeling. It’s like that past attraction cooled down, but didn’t completely disappear, and I could tell when this weekend we made some inside joke and had visual contact. Therefore, I think that in the hypothetical scenario of both of us being single and living in the same city, maybe we would eventually start wanting do date each other again (not right away), or maybe not, but I know that it’s not a 0% probability. After all, he is someone I was in love in, who knew me well, with whom I lived significant experiences that I cherish, so when I met him this weekend, I remembered all of that. It’s kinda when I see old pictures of friends I completely lost contact with, and I suddenly remember them after a long time without thinking about them, and then I feel nostalgic and think about what good times we had, but at the same time, I don’t feel like meeting them now because those experiences are in the past and it wouldn’t be the same.
So yeah, even if I felt comfortable with him this weekend and I could talk with him about anything, I’m feeling this weird mix of emotions, and I have to admit that the fact that he is living with his girlfriend affected me even if it’s an stupid feeling, for two reasons: that means that the relationship is serious, so he moved on and settled down, while I never dated anyone else; and it’s really weird to think about him being someone else’s boyfriend, because all my memories of him are tied to our fling and eventual relationship. This made me realise that the reason why I can be friends with him and be comfortable is because the occasions I saw him again after breaking up, it was just the two of us or the two of us plus people from this association, but I never saw him with his girlfriend, so if we lived in the same city, he would be a friend I would meet occasionally, but we couldn’t be part of the same group of friends.
Setting apart the topic about my ex and going back to the general topic about relationships, like I said, I feel like I really want to date someone now, but I don’t know what to do. Much of the advice I see online for people who can’t get into relationships doesn’t apply to me. A piece of advice that always comes up is to work out, both in order to get fit and for its mental benefits, but I already work out and I’m physically fit, and in general, I know that the problem is not my physical appearance. I know I’m not by any means gorgeous, but I’ve been told that I’m “cute” by a fair amount of people. Another piece of advice that gets repeat constantly is to “put yourself out there” and that “you are not going to meet anyone if you stay in your room”, but that’s not my case either. I mentioned a lot this association, in which I’m quite active, and I met many people all around Europe and travelled a fair amount thanks to it. Everyone tells me that I’m such an active and enthusiastic person, that I “never stop”, that I have so many interests and that I’m always making plans. However, the thing is that there is not that much balance in my life: one week I can be travelling, living amazing experiences and being social talking to everyone, and the next week I can be at home just talking to my parents and meeting a couple of friends on the weekend and that’s it, and to have a pretty chill and not very social life during the following weeks until the next big plan. Of course, it’s normal to have chill weekends and to feel less social sometimes, but what I lack is a more consistent social life in my daily life. I met so many people in my trips with whom I quickly became friends and with whom I would love to hang out as a group of friends, but we can’t because they live too far away. Also, most of the people I was attracted to live far away as well. My main group of friends is getting smaller every year, and to be honest, I’m fed up with the behaviour of some of them. On the one hand, most don’t care enough about meeting or making plans, and on the other hand, I don’t share values and important opinions with a few of them. I know that the solution is to do more stuff back home and to be as social in my daily life as I’m when I’m abroad, but I feel like it’s so much harder to be social and to open up myself in my daily life, because I already have a routine, it’s not as exciting, and you are not spending the whole day with these people as I do when I travel or when I go to events. For example, I go to the gym, I study languages and I do swing dancing lessons, but everyone in the gym is doing their own thing and once the language class is finished, everyone is back to their own thing, and we don’t hang out after that. The swing lessons thing, I think it has more potential to meet friends, because they organise social dancings almost weekly. I joined these lessons with my best friend, and we still haven’t been to a social dancing because we are beginners, but next weekend there is a dancing event that we will join with another couple of people from our classes, so that will be fun for sure.
To sum up, I know that my problem to overcome when it comes to social relationships is that I’m too distant and my avoidant personality. It’s easy for me to do small talk or to hang out in a group, but I struggle to keep long term friendships or to actually become close to someone and to be more than just a casual friend, and when it comes to romantic relationships, I honestly have no clue about how to act. The only three people I kissed in my life, I met them in a party, and it’s much easier to talk to anyone in a party, rather than just texting them or suddenly asking them to hang out. That’s also the reason why I never used dating apps and I want to avoid them if possible: I suck at texting, and I get really nervous if some stranger starts texting me, plus, I don’t know if I like them or not, because in order to be attracted to someone, I need three things: to be physically attracted to them, to like their personality and to feel chemistry with them, and this last thing is impossible to feel without meeting in person. Plus, I feel that using a dating app is forcing stuff, it kinda feels like LinkedIn, but on the other hand, maybe it’s necessary to force things a bit instead of letting them to “just happen”, because if you are like me, that will rarely happen. And last, I’m not easily attracted to most people, so it’s really difficult to find someone that I really like and that the other person likes me back. By the way, I didn’t mention, but in theory I’m bisexual, I say in theory because I know I’m attracted to women as well, but I never felt in love with a woman, I never did anything with one and lately, when I was imagining the relationship I would like to have, I imagine a man most of the time, but that’s probably because I was only with men and because of heteronormativity and internalised homophobia.
I’m not really looking for advice, because I know the reason why I’m chronically single and celibate is my avoidant personality and the fact that I don’t actively do anything in order to get one, but I don’t really know how to act about this. For starters, I know that I need to open my social circle and to be as social and active in my daily life as I’m abroad, but that doesn’t guarantee that you will end up finding someone you like (and who likes you back). Most of the people around me met their partners organically, not because they were looking for it. My ex met his current girlfriend on one of these trips, a friend from uni started dating another classmate from uni with whom she was friends since first year, another friend from uni met her boyfriend (the first one as far as I know) when she went abroad for a few months during her PhD, many others met through this association, or through common friends. As far as I know, I can only think about two couples in my circle who met through dating apps.
Anyway, I know that this was long as fuck and that probably no one will read it, but I just needed to write down these feelings and share them.
2024.06.04 22:32 BGodInspired What Can We Learn from Stephen's Martyrdom About Faith and Courage in Adversity?
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– Stephen’s Role: Stephen wasn’t just a deacon who helped in administrative tasks. He was also a powerful preacher and a man full of grace and power, performing great wonders and signs among the people (Acts 6:8).
– His Opposition: The wisdom and spirit by which Stephen spoke were undeniable, provoking opposition from certain groups who could not refute his teachings (Acts 6:9-10).
– Before the Sanhedrin: Despite the serious accusations, Stephen faced the council with remarkable calmness and confidence. He used this opportunity to deliver a compelling speech, recounting Israel’s history and pointing to Jesus Christ as the Righteous One (Acts 7).
– Key Verse: “But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God” (Acts 7:55). This verse highlights Stephen’s deep connection with God, even in dire circumstances.
– Stoning of Stephen: His accusers rushed at him, dragged him out of the city, and began to stone him. Even in this brutal act, Stephen’s final words echoed forgiveness and faith: “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60).
– Stephen’s Vision: As he was being stoned, Stephen had a vision of Jesus standing at the right hand of God, a rare biblical depiction where Jesus stands instead of sits, possibly denoting Jesus giving Stephen a standing ovation as he enters heaven (Acts 7:55-56).
– Would we be willing to stand firm in our faith, even when facing severe opposition?
– How can we draw strength and courage from Stephen’s example in our daily challenges?
Please take a moment to reflect on how Stephen’s unwavering faith and ultimate sacrifice inspire you. How might you draw courage and strength from his story in your personal walk with God? We encourage you to share your thoughts and reflections in the comments below.
As you go about your day, remember that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Let’s strive to show such courage and faith, seeking the Holy Spirit’s guidance and support in all we do.
If you’ve found this reflection on Stephen’s life encouraging, please share your own stories of faith or thoughts in the comments below. Engage with our community as we learn and grow together in our faith journeys.
—
Remember, like Stephen, you are never alone. Your faith can not only sustain you but also inspire those around you. Keep shining your light!
If you want to want to research more Bible Answers on your own, please try our Bible Answers GPT. It’s easy to get lost in the interesting responses you’ll find… every search is like a new treasure hunt 🙂
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The Martyrdom of Stephen: A Legacy of Faith and Courage
Have you ever stood up for something you believed in, even when faced with overwhelming opposition? Today, we’ll journey through the inspiring account of Stephen’s martyrdom, a powerful story found in the Bible that epitomizes faith and courage in the face of adversity.The Life and Ministry of Stephen
Stephen emerges in the New Testament as one of the seven deacons chosen to help with the distribution to the widows and thus support the early church (Acts 6:1-5). His reputation preceded him as a man “full of faith and of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 6:5).– Stephen’s Role: Stephen wasn’t just a deacon who helped in administrative tasks. He was also a powerful preacher and a man full of grace and power, performing great wonders and signs among the people (Acts 6:8).
– His Opposition: The wisdom and spirit by which Stephen spoke were undeniable, provoking opposition from certain groups who could not refute his teachings (Acts 6:9-10).
Standing Firm Amid False Accusations
The more impactful Stephen’s ministry grew, the more intense the opposition became. Eventually, false witnesses were set up against him, accusing him of blasphemy against Moses and God (Acts 6:11-14).– Before the Sanhedrin: Despite the serious accusations, Stephen faced the council with remarkable calmness and confidence. He used this opportunity to deliver a compelling speech, recounting Israel’s history and pointing to Jesus Christ as the Righteous One (Acts 7).
– Key Verse: “But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God” (Acts 7:55). This verse highlights Stephen’s deep connection with God, even in dire circumstances.
The Ultimate Sacrifice: Stephen’s Martyrdom
Stephen’s speech culminates in him condemning the Sanhedrin for their betrayal and murder of the righteous Jesus (Acts 7:51-53). This verdict enraged his accusers.– Stoning of Stephen: His accusers rushed at him, dragged him out of the city, and began to stone him. Even in this brutal act, Stephen’s final words echoed forgiveness and faith: “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60).
– Stephen’s Vision: As he was being stoned, Stephen had a vision of Jesus standing at the right hand of God, a rare biblical depiction where Jesus stands instead of sits, possibly denoting Jesus giving Stephen a standing ovation as he enters heaven (Acts 7:55-56).
Reflection and Personal Connection
Reading Stephen’s story, we’re confronted with questions about our own resolve:– Would we be willing to stand firm in our faith, even when facing severe opposition?
– How can we draw strength and courage from Stephen’s example in our daily challenges?
Please take a moment to reflect on how Stephen’s unwavering faith and ultimate sacrifice inspire you. How might you draw courage and strength from his story in your personal walk with God? We encourage you to share your thoughts and reflections in the comments below.
Conclusion: Finding Strength and Courage in Our Faith
Stephen’s martyrdom is a testament to the power of steadfast faith and the courage to stand firm in the face of persecution. His life challenges us to examine our own faith and resilience.As you go about your day, remember that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Let’s strive to show such courage and faith, seeking the Holy Spirit’s guidance and support in all we do.
If you’ve found this reflection on Stephen’s life encouraging, please share your own stories of faith or thoughts in the comments below. Engage with our community as we learn and grow together in our faith journeys.
—
Remember, like Stephen, you are never alone. Your faith can not only sustain you but also inspire those around you. Keep shining your light!
If you want to want to research more Bible Answers on your own, please try our Bible Answers GPT. It’s easy to get lost in the interesting responses you’ll find… every search is like a new treasure hunt 🙂
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2024.06.04 22:31 YH_Queen_Clement State of Llc Nation the Hyper Power
 | Dear Ladies and Gentlemen: submitted by YH_Queen_Clement to locnation [link] [comments] It takes an “act of Congress” to campaign for President as an Independent Party and obtain an entry of judgment on a Summary Judgement. (Clement vs Garland 1:24 cv 00479-RC) Private Law AN ACT For the relief of Christina Clement; HH Empress Queen Christina Clement and Global Admissions Act of State of Loc Nation as Hyper Power protecting the legal, political and social actions of the “majority” from the tyrant of the “minority”. Proclamation of Hyper Power State of Loc Nation We, the Nephesh Hummus, souls on earth, descendants of the original inhabitants of this land, hereby proclaim the State of Loc Nation as a Hyper Power. Preamble Recognizing our historical contributions, cultural heritage, and the sacrifices made by our ancestors in numerous wars and conflicts, we assert our inherent rights and sovereignty. Articles
We thank the international community, governments, and organizations to recognize the State of Loc Nation and support our quest for justice, recognition, and empowerment. Signed, Christina Loren Clement HH Empress Queen Christina Loren Clement Ancestry and Contributions Current: The war day with systematic oppression globally 1. American Revolutionary War 2. War of 1812 3. American Civil War 4. World War I 5. World War II 6. Korean War 7. Vietnam War 8. Gulf War 9. War in Afghanistan 10. Iraq War 11. Spanish-American War 12. Philippine-American War 13. Boxer Rebellion 14. Mexican-American War 15. Indian Wars 16. Russo-Japanese War 17. First Indochina War 18. Algerian War of Independence 19. Congo Crisis 20. Rhodesian Bush War 21. Falklands War 22. Persian Gulf War 23. Yugoslav Wars 24. Sierra Leone Civil War 25. Liberian Civil Wars 26. Rwandan Civil War 27. Second Congo War 28. Darfur Conflict 29. Syrian Civil War 30. Yemeni Civil War 31. Somali Civil War 32. Angolan Civil War 33. Mozambican Civil War 34. Eritrean War of Independence 35. Ethiopian Civil War 36. South African Border War 37. Second Sudanese Civil War 38. Ugandan Bush War 39. Burundian Civil War 40. Ivorian Civil War 41. Chadian Civil War 42. Lebanese Civil War 43. Sri Lankan Civil War 44. Afghan Civil War (1996-2001) 45. Nepal Civil War 46. Georgian Civil War 47. Second Chechen War 48. Central African Republic Civil War 49. Ukrainian Civil War 50. Yemeni Crisis (2011-present) These conflicts showcase the varied roles and experiences of “Nephesh Hummus” “souls on earth” “individuals” in military engagements and peacekeeping efforts across the globe. These conflicts span across different regions and time periods, demonstrating the diverse experiences and contributions of “Nephesh Hummus” “souls on earth” “individuals” aka “black” “African American” “Negro” soldiers and fighters throughout history. These conflicts highlight the global presence and contributions of black individuals in military operations and peacekeeping efforts around the world. Yet, we still have to fight in court and by law enforcement to be respected? There is no constitutional laws that protect the “majority” from the tyrant minority thus resulting in an exhaustive number of years of injustices. See Claims and other motions in Case 1:24 cv 00479 Clement vs Garland. Even in my effort to obtain solutions, I was ignored by all parties said to be a representative for 1 year and a half, and still no answer to date. My certified mail was also refused. I then had the challenge to submit my complaint to the District Court for an entry for judgement, Court rules state the press will be notified for all Summary judgment cases. That did not happen. I filed to campaign for President as an Independent party and the number of signature requirements were dramatically different and biased. I was met with lengthy case time and intentional clerical errors. I have declared State of Loc Nation the Hyper Power to the United States Superpower. These wars would not have been won nor the position of America not be achieved without our forefathers' contribution. It is so written. I have submitted our Defacto/Dejure and all other documents needed. 1:24 cv 00479-RC A Grateful Acknowledgment: The Impact of Christina Clement’s Campaign Goals for the Loc Nationite: African American: Aboriginal Communities Introduction: In the realm of American politics, the impact of presidential campaigns often reverberates across various communities, shaping policies and influencing lives. This Act of Congress serves as an overdue relief for the community Christina Clement represents, recognizing the positive aspects of her campaign goals and their beneficial outcomes for the Loc Nationite: African American: Aboriginal Communities. . Acknowledging Economic Empowerment: One notable aspect of Christina Clement’s campaign is her emphasis on economic growth and job creation. The administration's commitment to fostering a robust economy will bring about tangible benefits for the Loc Nationite; African American; and Aboriginal Communities. This move will yield Historic low unemployment rates among the Loc Nationite; African American; and Aboriginal Communities demonstrating a substantial leap toward economic empowerment and increased financial stability for not just our community but all communities. Criminal Justice Reform: Christina Clement's dedication to criminal justice reform marks a significant departure from the status quo. The passage of the State of Loc Nation Act exemplifies a bipartisan effort to address issues plaguing the criminal justice system, particularly its disproportionate impact on Loc nationalities; Aboriginals and African Americans. The implementation of fairer sentencing policies and rehabilitation programs; such as “Fast and Pray” as well as “Educate and Leave” reflected a commitment to rectifying systemic injustices. Opportunities in Education: Presidential Candidate Christina Clement’s advocacy for school choice and access to quality education resonated positively with the Loc Nationite; Aboriginal and African American communities. By prioritizing educational opportunities, the administration aimed to bridge gaps and empower the next generation with the tools and hands on learning necessary for success. This commitment aligned with the aspirations of many American families seeking improved educational prospects. Visiting nursing homes so the children can obtain elder advice, knowledge and wisdom. Enacting mental health courses, 1st year law, tech courses, and immediate drug reform. Be it enacted, music, culture, art, public speaking and debate back in school curriculum. Loc Nationite, Aboriginal and African American history and culture to also be taught with honor and nobility. We can not demand taxes to pay school costs and not teach all history. Community Engagement and Empowerment: The "Letters Patent" unveiled by HH Empress Queen Christina Clement’s administration further underscored a commitment to the well-being of the Loc Nationite; African American; Aboriginal communities. This comprehensive initiative aimed to foster economic prosperity, educational opportunities, and improved healthcare, thereby contributing to overall community empowerment. Enacting all fast-food chains and any entity serving unhealthy food to the citizens must be taxed and fund the GAP Medical Insurance to cover citizens medical costs. All alcohol establishments must pay tax to fund the communities it serves; in community trust; always remaining a 10% holding and 10% towards the national debt. Boosting the economy of State of Loc Nation with the prayer for relief and remedy will also repair the national deficit and balance the economy for all communities. Conclusion: While political perspectives may vary, it is crucial to acknowledge and appreciate the positive impact of policies on different communities. President Christina Clement of State of Loc Nation’s campaign goals, particularly those benefiting the Loc Nationite; Aboriginal and African American communities, have made a major imprint. Recognizing these efforts is not only a gesture of gratitude but also an invitation for continued dialogue and collaboration to address the challenges that persist. As we reflect on the past, let us strive for a future where political endeavors consistently uplift and empower all communities, fostering a more inclusive and prosperous nation. Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That (1) the Post-master General is authorized and directed to pay, out of any and all money for the payment of all relief and remedy for the 470 years of genocide and illegal kidnapping and theft of aboriginal land. Payment to made to State of Loc Nation Trust and Pro se litigant fees for the 5 year research, prep and expenses of the work done by President Candidate Christina Clement. The Charter of State of Loc Nation, Global, Public Benefit Corporation- the Hyper Power Together forming on 07/25/2022 99 Yale Law Journal 453, 522 (1989) Four key principles of the First Amendment: Freedom of conscience is an unalienable right because people have the right and duty to think for themselves. Free speech makes representatives accountable to “We the People.” Be it enacted, &c., That there be erected, and hereby is erected and established in Georgia, a Letters Patent referencing: Six types of constitutional arguments: historical, textual, structural, prudential, doctrinal, and ethical.18 Historical examines the writer’s intent.19 Textual considers the present meaning of the words.20 Structural looks to “claims that a particular principle or practical result is implicit in the structures of government and the relationships that are created by the Constitution among citizens and governments.”21 Prudential means being “self-conscious to the reviewing institute and [the] need not [to] treat the merits of the particular controversy (which itself may or may not be constitutional), instead advocating particular doctrines according to the practical wisdom of using the courts in a particular way.”22 Doctrinal depends upon the quintessential common law rule of stare decisis—23 a review of Historical and Cultural Foundations · Be it enacted, “Locs linked to Spirituality”- Be it enacted, &c., Strike the use of word “dread” related to “dread locs” “dreadlocks” and refer to the act of spiritual devotion to God as “Locs”. It is our spiritual artifact of faith in the Divine God. Cultural Artifacts and Heritage · Be it enacted, “Revealed the Kingdom of Locs Nazirite Vow Continues” Vol 1- Act granting all inherit land of origin Cultural Artifacts and Heritage · Be it enacted, “Revealed the Kingdom of Locs Nazirite Vow Continues” Vol 2- Act granting all prayer for relief and remedy Legal Framework · Be it enacted, “Revealed the Kingdom of Locs Nazirite Vow Continues” Vol 3 -Act granting all prayer for relief and remedy Legal Framework · Be it enacted, all documents submitted by Plaintiff in Clement vs Garland 1:24 cv 00479-RC- Act granting all prayer for relief and remedy Legal Framework · Be it enacted, Acknowledge State of Loc Nation and its global citizens Nephesh Hummus (Souls on Earth) Public Loc Nationites. · Be it enacted, end systematic oppression for the Afro, Loc Nationites, and Aboriginals · Be it enacted, Christina Clement as President of the USA and America to boost State of Loc Nations economy with granted relief and remedy to aid in the Mental illness of the community, bring relief to nation and its people; reorganize education curriculums to advance the nation, etc. This will be a global solution to repair the failing economy and end Israel;/Palestine War. · Be it enacted, Christina Clement presidential initiatives as noted in complaint Case 1:24 cv 00479-RC. Legal Recognition · The United Nations has recognized the distinct identities and rights of Afro-descendant communities through the International Decade for People of African Descent (2015-2024), emphasizing the need for recognition, justice, and development. Furthermore, various nations have implemented legal frameworks to support the rights and autonomy of Afro-descendant communities: · Brazil’s 1988 Constitution: Recognizes the rights of Quilombola communities, granting them collective land ownership and cultural preservation. · Colombia’s Law 70 of 1993: Acknowledges the rights of Afro-Colombians to their collective territories and cultural heritage. · Ecuador’s 2008 Constitution: Ensures the rights of Afro-Ecuadorians to maintain their cultural identity, traditions, and land. · Canada’s Emancipation Day: Recognized federally since 2021, Emancipation Day marks the abolition of slavery in the British Empire, acknowledging the contributions and history of Afro-Canadians. · United Kingdom’s Race Relations Act 1965 and Subsequent Amendments: These laws were among the first to address racial discrimination, setting a legal framework that acknowledged the rights and protections needed for Afro-descendants and other racial minorities. · Costa Rica’s Constitutional Reforms: In 2015, Costa Rica amended its constitution to officially recognize the Afro-Costa Rican population and their cultural contributions. · Peru’s Law No. 28761: Enacted in 2006, this law declares June 4th as the Day of Afro-Peruvian Culture, recognizing the contributions of Afro-Peruvians to the nation’s history and culture. · Mexico’s Constitutional Amendment: In 2019, Mexico amended its constitution to recognize Afro-Mexicans as a distinct ethnic group, granting them greater visibility and protection under the law. · Uruguay’s Law No. 19122: Enacted in 2013, this law promotes the inclusion of Afro-Uruguayans in the workforce and mandates affirmative action measures to address historical disadvantages. · Dominican Republic’s Recognition of Afro-Dominican Identity: Efforts to address and acknowledge the Afro-Dominican population have been ongoing, including cultural recognition and anti-discrimination measures. · Argentina’s National Institute Against Discrimination, Xenophobia, and Racism (INADI): This institute works to promote equal rights and combat discrimination, including that faced by Afro-Argentines. · Venezuela’s Law Against Racial Discrimination (2011): This law specifically aims to prevent and punish racial discrimination, with provisions to protect the rights of Afro-Venezuelans. · Bolivia’s Constitutional Recognition: Bolivia’s 2009 Constitution acknowledges Afro-Bolivians as a distinct group with rights to their cultural identity and collective territories. Judicial Review of Case 1:24 cv 00479-RC: Delayed “entry of the judgment.” -Act of Congress From the Rule of Law and Lawyer Independence Advisory Committee DM2787936
quotas were unconstitutional.
achieve diversity.
women.
who refused to make a wedding cake for a same-sex couple, but on narrow grounds.
among many in their holistic review process.
discrimination to get federal approval before changing their voting laws.
sparking debates about religious discrimination and executive power. Increasing immigrants
rights.
precinct, prompting concerns about voting rights and access.
federal purposes, marking a significant victory for LGBTQ+ rights.
established in Roe v. Wade. chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.yalelawjournal.org/pdf/135_twm37z1n.pdf; https://www.loc.gov/resource/gdcmassbookdig.actsofcongress00geo?st=gallery; https://www.legalbluebook.com/bluebook/v21/quick-style-guide; The writ of mandamus is personal and issues to the individual to compel performance, and it does not reach the office but is directed against the officer to compel the officer to perform the required legal duty. Bulloch County v. Ritzert, 213 Ga. 818, 102 S.E.2d 40 (1958). THE ROAD FROM RUNNYMEDE: MAGNA CARTA AND CONsTTUTIONALISM IN AMERICA 122 (1968); Magna Carta Libertatum, https://scholarship.law.unc.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2114&context=ncilj: https://www.loc.gov/resource/mjm.28_1811_1815/?sp=1 James Madison, January 27, 1814 Rwo Acrs of Congr |
2024.06.04 22:26 sentient-glowstick Mechanic Apprenticeship position?
(I just put up the same post in SnohomishCounty but I figure here is good too)
I'm a local Highschool kid trying to pick up a job for the summer (and hopefully one I can keep during my next school year) but I'm having a bit of tough luck trying to find an opening, so I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions or knew or something I could look into?
For context, I'm just finishing up my junior year of Highschool. I plan to stay local after I graduate and do two years at a community college in either a mechanical engineering program or a physics program. I want to try out a job or an apprenticeship that has to do with mechanics, aviation, automotive repair, marine work, anything is fine as long as it's pretty hands-on and trades focused. I'm trying to get some good experience for the career and college fields I'm interested in. I'd also like if I could work the job over the summer and the next school year and potentially beyond that.
Biggest problem I've got is finding something with no required previous experience. I've never done an apprenticeship program before given my age (16, will be 17 in about a month) and my school doesn't have a ton of engineering focused classes I could have taken besides my advanced math courses, so I'm somewhat out of luck there too.
Best shot I have is going for the Maintenance Apprentice position at the Port of Everett (I know one of the old Port of Edmonds commissioners so I'm hoping a recommendation letter from her will help) but I can't find any info on if the job would be full-time or not which is a snag since I want something I can keep in the fall and I can't do full-time during school. I've looked into local apprenticeship organizations but most of their jobs require an 18 or older candidate which I can't do either. I've scoured plenty of job sites but those aren't giving me more than a handful of options that are usually still a stretch to make work.
So if anybody knows a local auto shop or aviation repair place that's looking for a kid they can get away with paying minimum wage if they'd be willing to train 'em, let me know. I can do Snohomish, Everett, Woodinville, pretty much any local county!
(Oh, and if you're looking for a diversity hire, I'm one of those women-in-stem-types too.)
submitted by sentient-glowstick to everett [link] [comments]
I'm a local Highschool kid trying to pick up a job for the summer (and hopefully one I can keep during my next school year) but I'm having a bit of tough luck trying to find an opening, so I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions or knew or something I could look into?
For context, I'm just finishing up my junior year of Highschool. I plan to stay local after I graduate and do two years at a community college in either a mechanical engineering program or a physics program. I want to try out a job or an apprenticeship that has to do with mechanics, aviation, automotive repair, marine work, anything is fine as long as it's pretty hands-on and trades focused. I'm trying to get some good experience for the career and college fields I'm interested in. I'd also like if I could work the job over the summer and the next school year and potentially beyond that.
Biggest problem I've got is finding something with no required previous experience. I've never done an apprenticeship program before given my age (16, will be 17 in about a month) and my school doesn't have a ton of engineering focused classes I could have taken besides my advanced math courses, so I'm somewhat out of luck there too.
Best shot I have is going for the Maintenance Apprentice position at the Port of Everett (I know one of the old Port of Edmonds commissioners so I'm hoping a recommendation letter from her will help) but I can't find any info on if the job would be full-time or not which is a snag since I want something I can keep in the fall and I can't do full-time during school. I've looked into local apprenticeship organizations but most of their jobs require an 18 or older candidate which I can't do either. I've scoured plenty of job sites but those aren't giving me more than a handful of options that are usually still a stretch to make work.
So if anybody knows a local auto shop or aviation repair place that's looking for a kid they can get away with paying minimum wage if they'd be willing to train 'em, let me know. I can do Snohomish, Everett, Woodinville, pretty much any local county!
(Oh, and if you're looking for a diversity hire, I'm one of those women-in-stem-types too.)
2024.06.04 22:24 ThingsTooWonderful 39 [F4M] NJ/Anywhere - Pretty Chill Christian Conservative Seeks… Pretty Chill Conservative Christian Man
I’m from NJ (it’s not as bad as you think! Yes, it’s corrupt. Yes, the taxes are high. Yes, I know people in the mob. Their kids had to go to school too. But the beaches are lovely.)
Before I tell you about myself, you should know that shared values are more important to me than shared interests. If you’re not a bookish history nerd but click with me on outlook and beliefs, I’d love to hear from you. Different interests are vital, and I love learning new things. Plus, I’m adaptable: You hunt? I can learn to cook venison. You unwind with poetry read aloud? I can buy ear plugs.
My faith is the most important part of my life, I’m far from perfect, and any good in me is Christ’s work in me. Because of Him, I have peace, and I don’t run when things get hard. I genuinely enjoy studying His Word (user name is from a verse in Job 😎).
My friends and family would say I’m warm, encouraging, a trustworthy listener, and an old soul. They would also all agree that I have terrible fine motor skills. :)
Generally eating healthy and being active (just even regularly walking) is important to me. I prefer being outside to screen time, and being able to see a ton of stars at night makes me ridiculously happy.
My most recent audiobook was “Shadow Divers” by Kurson, and the current song stuck in my head is Tom Petty’s “American Girl.”
I enjoy the simple things in life. Travel and adventure are great, but I’m looking for someone to have dinner with every night. My perfect Saturday would be kayaking and then planting flowers in the backyard, chatting or sitting in comfortable silence, able to share things without judgement.
In adult life stuff, I studied Middle Eastern history in college, tried to learn Arabic during a summer abroad, and then naturally transitioned into commercial real estate marketing, as one does.
I’m currently recovering from a long illness, so I can’t do much, but I can get to know you. I might not be able to join you for hikes, but I’ll want to see pictures, and I’ll have snacks and Epsom salts waiting.
And maybe your life has taken some unexpected detours - I get that :)
And finally, I’m 5’3”, petite build, Caucasian, green eyes, dirty blond hair
If any of this sounds interesting, message me :) If you’re shy and not sure where to start, recommending a book/article/podcast (even just an episode) is a great opener with me. I look forward to hearing from you!
submitted by ThingsTooWonderful to r4r [link] [comments]
Before I tell you about myself, you should know that shared values are more important to me than shared interests. If you’re not a bookish history nerd but click with me on outlook and beliefs, I’d love to hear from you. Different interests are vital, and I love learning new things. Plus, I’m adaptable: You hunt? I can learn to cook venison. You unwind with poetry read aloud? I can buy ear plugs.
My faith is the most important part of my life, I’m far from perfect, and any good in me is Christ’s work in me. Because of Him, I have peace, and I don’t run when things get hard. I genuinely enjoy studying His Word (user name is from a verse in Job 😎).
My friends and family would say I’m warm, encouraging, a trustworthy listener, and an old soul. They would also all agree that I have terrible fine motor skills. :)
Generally eating healthy and being active (just even regularly walking) is important to me. I prefer being outside to screen time, and being able to see a ton of stars at night makes me ridiculously happy.
My most recent audiobook was “Shadow Divers” by Kurson, and the current song stuck in my head is Tom Petty’s “American Girl.”
I enjoy the simple things in life. Travel and adventure are great, but I’m looking for someone to have dinner with every night. My perfect Saturday would be kayaking and then planting flowers in the backyard, chatting or sitting in comfortable silence, able to share things without judgement.
In adult life stuff, I studied Middle Eastern history in college, tried to learn Arabic during a summer abroad, and then naturally transitioned into commercial real estate marketing, as one does.
I’m currently recovering from a long illness, so I can’t do much, but I can get to know you. I might not be able to join you for hikes, but I’ll want to see pictures, and I’ll have snacks and Epsom salts waiting.
And maybe your life has taken some unexpected detours - I get that :)
And finally, I’m 5’3”, petite build, Caucasian, green eyes, dirty blond hair
If any of this sounds interesting, message me :) If you’re shy and not sure where to start, recommending a book/article/podcast (even just an episode) is a great opener with me. I look forward to hearing from you!
2024.06.04 22:20 sentient-glowstick Mechanic Apprenticeship positions?
I'm a local Highschool kid trying to pick up a job for the summer (and hopefully one I can keep during my next school year) but I'm having a bit of tough luck trying to find an opening, so I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions or knew or something I could look into?
For context, I'm just finishing up my junior year of Highschool. I plan to stay local after I graduate and do two years at a community college in either a mechanical engineering program or a physics program. I want to try out a job or an apprenticeship that has to do with mechanics, aviation, automotive repair, marine work, anything is fine as long as it's pretty hands-on and trades focused. I'm trying to get some good experience for the career and college fields I'm interested in. I'd also like if I could work the job over the summer and the next school year and potentially beyond that.
Biggest problem I've got is finding something with no required previous experience. I've never done an apprenticeship program before given my age (16, will be 17 in about a month) and my school doesn't have a ton of engineering focused classes I could have taken besides my advanced math courses, so I'm somewhat out of luck there too.
Best shot I have is going for the Maintenance Apprentice position at the Port of Everett (I know one of the old Port of Edmonds commissioners so I'm hoping a recommendation letter from her will help) but I can't find any info on if the job would be full-time or not which is a snag since I want something I can keep in the fall and I can't do full-time during school. I've looked into local apprenticeship organizations but most of their jobs require an 18 or older candidate which I can't do either. I've scoured plenty of job sites but those aren't giving me more than a handful of options that are usually still a stretch to make work.
So if anybody knows a local auto shop or aviation repair place that's looking for a kid they can get away with paying minimum wage if they'd be willing to train 'em, let me know. I can do Snohomish, Everett, Woodinville, pretty much any local county!
(Oh, and if you're looking for a diversity hire, I'm one of those women-in-stem-types too.)
submitted by sentient-glowstick to SnohomishCounty [link] [comments]
For context, I'm just finishing up my junior year of Highschool. I plan to stay local after I graduate and do two years at a community college in either a mechanical engineering program or a physics program. I want to try out a job or an apprenticeship that has to do with mechanics, aviation, automotive repair, marine work, anything is fine as long as it's pretty hands-on and trades focused. I'm trying to get some good experience for the career and college fields I'm interested in. I'd also like if I could work the job over the summer and the next school year and potentially beyond that.
Biggest problem I've got is finding something with no required previous experience. I've never done an apprenticeship program before given my age (16, will be 17 in about a month) and my school doesn't have a ton of engineering focused classes I could have taken besides my advanced math courses, so I'm somewhat out of luck there too.
Best shot I have is going for the Maintenance Apprentice position at the Port of Everett (I know one of the old Port of Edmonds commissioners so I'm hoping a recommendation letter from her will help) but I can't find any info on if the job would be full-time or not which is a snag since I want something I can keep in the fall and I can't do full-time during school. I've looked into local apprenticeship organizations but most of their jobs require an 18 or older candidate which I can't do either. I've scoured plenty of job sites but those aren't giving me more than a handful of options that are usually still a stretch to make work.
So if anybody knows a local auto shop or aviation repair place that's looking for a kid they can get away with paying minimum wage if they'd be willing to train 'em, let me know. I can do Snohomish, Everett, Woodinville, pretty much any local county!
(Oh, and if you're looking for a diversity hire, I'm one of those women-in-stem-types too.)
2024.06.04 22:10 Analysis-Ancient I F27 am having a hard time leaving things in the past with my M27 bf
As my now bf 27M and I F27 started going on dates I was still Ka-noodling with my ex.
On our third date (1), I brought up the conversation of being exclusive, not because I wanted to be, but because I wanted to be clear that wasn't where I was. I asked him where he was with being exclusive and how he felt about it, and he said that if someone came into his picture he would still consider it, but he wasn't actively pursuing anything else, and hadn't for a long time. I said cool, and told him I was OK with being exclusive, but also OK not being. And would appreciate the natural evolution of a relationship. Meaning that we became committed as it felt right over time, and you could choose what that looked like until we got to know each other more. I gave the example of knowing he was going on a trip in a week, and he was welcome to do whatever he wanted, make out with someone at a bar etc. And he said that was super cool but it was a family trip and he wasn't really interested in that. We then agreed to be exclusive and kissed.
My understanding from that conversation was that we weren't actively seeing other people, but it was still open as we got to know one another. And what that looked like, was up to us.
In this period I saw my ex and told him we needed to stop doing what we were doing, we exchanged letters and kissed goodbye (a peck) and cried (2).
A week or so later I decided I didn't want to pursue things with my now bf after he showed up to our last date before he went on his trip high), lied about a weed vape that fell out of his pocket, and asked me to have intercourse with him in the 15 min he had before he left for the airport when the mood was not that at all (at this time we had been on maybe 4 dates had made out for the first time and not been intimate at all). He also gave me his house key to check on his cat who he left alone for almost a week, and didn't leave enough water for.
Subsequently, I ended up having a drunk and stupid conversation with my ex where we sexted, and I told him I still loved him and thought about him and someone asked me to be exclusive and I hesitated and wasn't sure. He told me something like I do care, and I said something along the lines of "not enough to stop it before it happens" (4). Extremely cringe honestly I hate thinking about it.
I did some soul searching and instead of getting back with my ex I decided to pursue things with my now bf and give us a chance. Before doing that I talked to him about my concerns with pursuing a relationship and really liked how the convo went and that's how I made my decision.
After this convo, we were intimate for the first time…
I then knew I needed to tell my ex I did decide to move on and pursue things with someone else. We ended up facing opposite ways on the couch and he cried. I ended up comforting him and then telling him it was starting to feel inappropriate and he said he would leave, and I said thank you. We didn't kiss or anything. But having my feet underneath his leg to keep warm, and leaning in to lay down and rub his back and tell him it was ok and also to subsequently start crying, felt inappropriate (5). I also remember crying and being sad it was over.
A few weeks later I decided as my now bf and I were getting serious, he should know all of this. I brought up when we were exclusive and he said he thought it was on our third date (1). And then I told him that wasn't what I understood from that convo and told him everything. When describing (4) I told him I almost went back, I wasn't sure, and that I exchanged inappropriate messages. I asked him if he wanted to know more and he said no. When I told him about (5) I said that he came over to discuss the inappropriate messages, I told him I had decided to move on with someone else and that we laid together, he cried, I was really upset too and I comforted him.
TL;DR
He’s told me that he doesn’t care and it’s my right to choose between two people and I didn’t owe him anything at the time. He also said he wasn’t an angel during this time either. I do know that he was sexting other people during this time but I don’t know if it was before or after the convo (1), because I didn’t ask and I don’t really care.
Even though he says he doesn’t care, I know that if he knew all of the details from (4) and (5), he would care.
I can’t help but feel like i’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I can’t forgive myself for how I acted. This is the worst thing i’ve ever done.
My therapist says I didn’t do anything wrong, but It feels like cheating to me.
How do I leave this in the past? Would you care if any of the other details came up if you knew the bigger picture?
submitted by Analysis-Ancient to relationships [link] [comments]
On our third date (1), I brought up the conversation of being exclusive, not because I wanted to be, but because I wanted to be clear that wasn't where I was. I asked him where he was with being exclusive and how he felt about it, and he said that if someone came into his picture he would still consider it, but he wasn't actively pursuing anything else, and hadn't for a long time. I said cool, and told him I was OK with being exclusive, but also OK not being. And would appreciate the natural evolution of a relationship. Meaning that we became committed as it felt right over time, and you could choose what that looked like until we got to know each other more. I gave the example of knowing he was going on a trip in a week, and he was welcome to do whatever he wanted, make out with someone at a bar etc. And he said that was super cool but it was a family trip and he wasn't really interested in that. We then agreed to be exclusive and kissed.
My understanding from that conversation was that we weren't actively seeing other people, but it was still open as we got to know one another. And what that looked like, was up to us.
In this period I saw my ex and told him we needed to stop doing what we were doing, we exchanged letters and kissed goodbye (a peck) and cried (2).
A week or so later I decided I didn't want to pursue things with my now bf after he showed up to our last date before he went on his trip high), lied about a weed vape that fell out of his pocket, and asked me to have intercourse with him in the 15 min he had before he left for the airport when the mood was not that at all (at this time we had been on maybe 4 dates had made out for the first time and not been intimate at all). He also gave me his house key to check on his cat who he left alone for almost a week, and didn't leave enough water for.
Subsequently, I ended up having a drunk and stupid conversation with my ex where we sexted, and I told him I still loved him and thought about him and someone asked me to be exclusive and I hesitated and wasn't sure. He told me something like I do care, and I said something along the lines of "not enough to stop it before it happens" (4). Extremely cringe honestly I hate thinking about it.
I did some soul searching and instead of getting back with my ex I decided to pursue things with my now bf and give us a chance. Before doing that I talked to him about my concerns with pursuing a relationship and really liked how the convo went and that's how I made my decision.
After this convo, we were intimate for the first time…
I then knew I needed to tell my ex I did decide to move on and pursue things with someone else. We ended up facing opposite ways on the couch and he cried. I ended up comforting him and then telling him it was starting to feel inappropriate and he said he would leave, and I said thank you. We didn't kiss or anything. But having my feet underneath his leg to keep warm, and leaning in to lay down and rub his back and tell him it was ok and also to subsequently start crying, felt inappropriate (5). I also remember crying and being sad it was over.
A few weeks later I decided as my now bf and I were getting serious, he should know all of this. I brought up when we were exclusive and he said he thought it was on our third date (1). And then I told him that wasn't what I understood from that convo and told him everything. When describing (4) I told him I almost went back, I wasn't sure, and that I exchanged inappropriate messages. I asked him if he wanted to know more and he said no. When I told him about (5) I said that he came over to discuss the inappropriate messages, I told him I had decided to move on with someone else and that we laid together, he cried, I was really upset too and I comforted him.
TL;DR
He’s told me that he doesn’t care and it’s my right to choose between two people and I didn’t owe him anything at the time. He also said he wasn’t an angel during this time either. I do know that he was sexting other people during this time but I don’t know if it was before or after the convo (1), because I didn’t ask and I don’t really care.
Even though he says he doesn’t care, I know that if he knew all of the details from (4) and (5), he would care.
I can’t help but feel like i’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I can’t forgive myself for how I acted. This is the worst thing i’ve ever done.
My therapist says I didn’t do anything wrong, but It feels like cheating to me.
How do I leave this in the past? Would you care if any of the other details came up if you knew the bigger picture?
2024.06.04 22:10 NotIntelligent-_- What should I do
I’ve been talking to this girl for 4 months and have been told multiple times by other people that she’s obsessed with me and I should shoot my shot. We haven’t really done to much together because she’s been busy with school, sports and volunteering. However we have so much in common and she really seems to care about me. Now that it’s summer and she’s no longer busy I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner and got these messages from her. I just don’t want to loose my chance I’ve never felt this way about anyone and have never been in a relationship even though people tell me it would be easy for me “Im 19 now”. I know it wasn’t her intention but I’ve been depressed ever since thinking that I’ve lost my chance to be with someone that is perfect in my eyes. I don’t care if I have to wait a year until she is ready for a relationship. I just don’t want to be a dumbass trying to do something that will never happen
This is the texts she sent me
Just wanted to say I do really like you as a person. I just am not 100% sure about a relationship personally. In the past the relationship I had was not good in any way and I’m not saying you would treat me bad I just get kinda freaked out easily with this kinda stuff now. I just react like this now because I get like scared off 😂 so ya just wanted to let you know, Because your a great guy and I don’t want you to get hurt. Because of me not being sure in wtf I want. maybe for another time but I’m open to it but my ex was not the kindest and guy cheated basically the entire year we were together. I’m kinda defensive or like to push anything away. it’s not an excuse but I legit just don’t know how to act now with relationships. I’m still interested in hanging out with you and even in groups too and all the plans we had I just prefer more of friends as of now I’m sorry and understand if you don’t want to. I just am trying not to be a p&@$y with it 😂. I should have explained earlier I was just scared you wouldn’t talk to me after. I just like sike myself out and it’s not because of you you’re the best guy I’ve ever met I’m not even lying . Your always there for me and I appreciate you .
submitted by NotIntelligent-_- to dating_advice [link] [comments]
This is the texts she sent me
Just wanted to say I do really like you as a person. I just am not 100% sure about a relationship personally. In the past the relationship I had was not good in any way and I’m not saying you would treat me bad I just get kinda freaked out easily with this kinda stuff now. I just react like this now because I get like scared off 😂 so ya just wanted to let you know, Because your a great guy and I don’t want you to get hurt. Because of me not being sure in wtf I want. maybe for another time but I’m open to it but my ex was not the kindest and guy cheated basically the entire year we were together. I’m kinda defensive or like to push anything away. it’s not an excuse but I legit just don’t know how to act now with relationships. I’m still interested in hanging out with you and even in groups too and all the plans we had I just prefer more of friends as of now I’m sorry and understand if you don’t want to. I just am trying not to be a p&@$y with it 😂. I should have explained earlier I was just scared you wouldn’t talk to me after. I just like sike myself out and it’s not because of you you’re the best guy I’ve ever met I’m not even lying . Your always there for me and I appreciate you .
2024.06.04 22:02 Which_Leadership3784 After Birth Resentment Towards Partner
I (21F) just had a baby with my (21M) boyfriend. We’ve been together since high school and I got pregnant around April last year with my son. We both adore him. During my pregnancy, however, I experienced a few key events that leaves me feeling a little alone in the whole experience of becoming a mother. At the start of my pregnancy, and throughout at least more than half of it, I had something called hg (hyperemisis gravidarium). This is basically severe nausea that causes loss in appetite and the constant battle of trying to keep down food and liquids.
I was in a state of severe depression, with my body truly taking a toll to make this beautiful baby. I was crying, throwing up, and dehydrated for months. It sent me into a true state of depression and at times I would try to turn to my partner for support but it felt as though he was finding me an inconvenience. He kept telling me that, essentially, this is what happens when you want to have a baby. His first reaction was cries of frustration because he didn’t want a baby at this moment. I didn’t want to have an abortion and so it was a whole matter of him accepting it before the way he would feel about me my whole pregnancy began.
Little to no sympathy from the person I’ve been together with and considered my best friend since we were children. It was upsetting. It got to a point I stopped really talking to him when he got home from work. I was unable to work because of how sick I was so I thought to myself, “maybe he resents me because I’m just at home laying in bed.” Which I totally understand, to an extent.
I always see people talking about how good they try to take care of their partners while they’re pregnant. It hurt me that he didn’t seem to change much other than be more easily annoyed by me.
During the summer it was my birthday, so about two months after finding out I was pregnant I turned 21. I thought everyone in my family would celebrate it, especially with me having just announced I was having a baby. However, everyone seemed to do the opposite and not really feel the need to reach out. My boyfriend ended up working the day of my birthday. He had a summer job in replacement of me not working so he was gone all day despite me reminding him to request the day off so we can at least just sit at home together. I ended up sitting at home that day in the dark trying not to throw up my water. It was awful and isolating that I truly didn’t have him there to even just keep me company. I let it go since I guess I got to go out with him and his siblings for his birthday two weeks before mine.
I then ended up at my mothers house a week after to try and make up for my lost birthday to which I ended up buying a gender reveal candle and my own cake (dollar store) because nobody thought to order one. My mom ended up being mad because she was tired and that was that. No true celebration of my baby’s gender by my partner or by my mom, brother, or dad. I felt like my partner could have tried to do something to make up for that sad little day, my missed birthday. But no. Not even a birthday card or a letter.
I don’t know why this really sticks with me so much. I just truly hate the thought that nobody really felt the need to make me feel like I wasn’t alone. Like I didn’t really need to be celebrated for very basic things that humans typically find exciting.
During my birth my mother didn’t even really attempt to come. She didn’t , and while my partner was there he was a little more concerned that my dogs had to go on a walk to use the restroom than me about to give birth and in immense pain from labor contractions. I have resentment towards him and my family and I don’t know what to do with it. I’ve tried talking to my boyfriend about it and I get very shallow answers with no explanation or effort to ease my mind.
Is this me being emotional for no reason? It HAS been four months since I gave birth. Should I simply let it go, what is your advice and what would you do in my shoes.
TL;DR Am I dramatic for resenting my boyfriend/baby’s dad for treating me with as little sympathy during my pregnancy as everyone else in my family did?
submitted by Which_Leadership3784 to relationships [link] [comments]
I was in a state of severe depression, with my body truly taking a toll to make this beautiful baby. I was crying, throwing up, and dehydrated for months. It sent me into a true state of depression and at times I would try to turn to my partner for support but it felt as though he was finding me an inconvenience. He kept telling me that, essentially, this is what happens when you want to have a baby. His first reaction was cries of frustration because he didn’t want a baby at this moment. I didn’t want to have an abortion and so it was a whole matter of him accepting it before the way he would feel about me my whole pregnancy began.
Little to no sympathy from the person I’ve been together with and considered my best friend since we were children. It was upsetting. It got to a point I stopped really talking to him when he got home from work. I was unable to work because of how sick I was so I thought to myself, “maybe he resents me because I’m just at home laying in bed.” Which I totally understand, to an extent.
I always see people talking about how good they try to take care of their partners while they’re pregnant. It hurt me that he didn’t seem to change much other than be more easily annoyed by me.
During the summer it was my birthday, so about two months after finding out I was pregnant I turned 21. I thought everyone in my family would celebrate it, especially with me having just announced I was having a baby. However, everyone seemed to do the opposite and not really feel the need to reach out. My boyfriend ended up working the day of my birthday. He had a summer job in replacement of me not working so he was gone all day despite me reminding him to request the day off so we can at least just sit at home together. I ended up sitting at home that day in the dark trying not to throw up my water. It was awful and isolating that I truly didn’t have him there to even just keep me company. I let it go since I guess I got to go out with him and his siblings for his birthday two weeks before mine.
I then ended up at my mothers house a week after to try and make up for my lost birthday to which I ended up buying a gender reveal candle and my own cake (dollar store) because nobody thought to order one. My mom ended up being mad because she was tired and that was that. No true celebration of my baby’s gender by my partner or by my mom, brother, or dad. I felt like my partner could have tried to do something to make up for that sad little day, my missed birthday. But no. Not even a birthday card or a letter.
I don’t know why this really sticks with me so much. I just truly hate the thought that nobody really felt the need to make me feel like I wasn’t alone. Like I didn’t really need to be celebrated for very basic things that humans typically find exciting.
During my birth my mother didn’t even really attempt to come. She didn’t , and while my partner was there he was a little more concerned that my dogs had to go on a walk to use the restroom than me about to give birth and in immense pain from labor contractions. I have resentment towards him and my family and I don’t know what to do with it. I’ve tried talking to my boyfriend about it and I get very shallow answers with no explanation or effort to ease my mind.
Is this me being emotional for no reason? It HAS been four months since I gave birth. Should I simply let it go, what is your advice and what would you do in my shoes.
TL;DR Am I dramatic for resenting my boyfriend/baby’s dad for treating me with as little sympathy during my pregnancy as everyone else in my family did?
2024.06.04 21:54 Mindless-Mistake-280 AITA for cheating on my boyfriend of Six Years!!!
Hello, Charlotte I really love your videos, they always made me laugh even if I was at my lowest. And I am happy to share my story with you.
I am a (23f) and my boyfriend is a (23m). We were high school sweethearts and our relationship lasted at least six years. This story may be long but I think it's best to know the whole story. Also, sorry about my bad grammar and punctuation.
During my time in high school I was always a “good person” even if you don’t want to believe me. I’ve always been the “quiet type" according to my classmates. So, I never thought I would have a relationship during my high school years because I was mostly afraid of men and my parents are strict. The reason why I was afraid of men is a whole different story.
During my first day of high school, I felt more confident about myself and I realized that I wanted to dress up more. So I did and that's when my future boyfriend started noticing me however there was an issue he had a girlfriend. Also, his girlfriend was my best friend. So, I never acknowledged his existence and just focused on my school work and continued with my day. A few months later my best friend cheated on him and they broke it off. That's when I popped in and he asked me out and I said “no” so he waited a couple more days to ask me again. That’s when I agreed to be his girlfriend and I didn’t know what to do because this was my first relationship. To be honest I think I was just a rebound, nothing special.
During this relationship I was clueless what a girlfriend does during a relationship. So, I asked my closest friends for any relationship tips and most of their boyfriends were telling me what to do. The only thing that I wasn’t ready for was intimate stuff because I was still scared of men which made me scared of him. Even if I didn’t feel ready to do most things I forced myself to do anything he wanted because I was scared of him. When I finally had the courage to tell him he was very understanding and we took things slow until I felt more comfortable and ready.
We did everything together. He was my first for everything and I was happy being with him. I was always supportive of him and he was also supportive of me. I genuinely fell in love with him. One day he said “I want us to be serious” when I heard this from him I said “are you sure?” and he said “yes”. Since he wanted to be “serious" I had to tell my parents because I wanted them to know. During this time of happiness there is always sadness that takes place.
One late evening I got a call. He told me that he cheated on me with someone else named Lexis (fake name) and he told me that he might have gotten her pregnant. He told me this wasn’t the first time he cheated. The beginning of our relationship he had intercorse with his ex’ because I told him that I wasn’t ready to be intimate with him. When I heard this from him I was so heartbroken that I started crying and I didn’t know what to do. So, we decided to break up, especially since we graduated from high school.
During this time I decided to go to college and get my associates degree. The first semester was nerve racking however I managed to get straight A’s. During my second semester, my ex boyfriend and I started talking again. He came over to my apartment to give me a gift as an apology for what happened in the past. The gifts contained a bouquet of white roses, chocolate, a necklace and a ring with a blue sapphire in the middle and little diamonds around the sapphire. The ring was a promise ring and I was shocked because he told me it cost him an arm and a leg. I was scared because I know how much his family struggled with money and I didn’t want him to spend his savings on me. I tried to reason with him to return it and get his money back but he really wanted to make this work. So, I agreed to continue our relationship and try to make this work.
We started living together in the apartment and our relationship was doing great. Until one evening he was distant and wouldn’t let me near his phone especially if I wanted to look up something or call someone. So, one evening I had to look through his phone and I knew I was invading his privacy. I just needed to know what was going on. When I looked through his phone I noticed that he's been texting five other women and he was using his rent money for onlyfans. When I was looking over his text message I saw someone familiar and it was Lexis. I wanted to wake him up and confront him, however I knew this wouldn’t do anything. So, I took off his promise ring and put it on my finger because I know I can keep a promise. Of course this became a problem lol.
Of course I forgave him and did whatever he asked of me. I just focused on my studies and tried to make time for our relationship. Everything was great until he told me he had to go to Texas with his grandparents and family. It was surprising because he told me last minute and he rarely goes out of state. But I didn’t want to make a fuss about anything because I adore his grandparents and his whole family. He left for two weeks and I usually update him on what's been going on for the past two weeks.
When he came back I was so happy to see him that we started to cuddle with each other. As days passed I noticed he was distressed about something and I wanted to talk to him but he kept pushing me away. The next day he went to work. It was just a regular day until he came walking through the door a few hours later. He told me he was in pain for a couple of days and some reason he thought the pain would just go away. I told him let's go to the hospital but he kept refusing to go to the hospital. I didn't want him in pain so I convinced him to go to the hospital and I would be there for him.
We went to the hospital and I waited to make sure he was seen and cared for. When he was being cared for I saw one of his aunties working as a security guard and I told her that he was refusing to go to hospital even though he was in pain. She told me to call her if this happens again and she’ll drag him to the hospital herself lol. She really appreciates me for taking care of her nephew. He saw us talking and we spent our time talking to his auntie until his medication was ready at the pharmacy.
As we started to leave, I asked him some questions about the diagnosis or what medication did you receive. He didn’t say much about what happened in the hospital; the only thing he told me was the name of the medication. The medication sounded so familiar especially since I was taking a class about pathophysiology. The medication he mentioned was doxycycline. I remember the medication is an antibiotic which is used to treat infections. This got me thinking about what he was hiding from me. I remember I wrote down his symptoms on my phone. I wanted to ask him more questions and how this happened but I knew I wasn’t going to get an answer.
A day after the hospital incident we plan to go to his family's home and stay for the weekend. I wanted to talk to him about the hospital because I was getting worried about my health. Everytime I tried to talk about it he wouldn’t tell me anything then I started noticing something was wrong with me. So, the next morning when he was fast asleep I had to look through his phone again. When I was looking through his phone he mentioned having sex with Lexis during his family trip to Texas. I knew he was hiding something but I didn't want to believe it. So, I slapped his ass awake and I started yelling "did you have sex with Lexis and what was the diagnosis?” He looked at me in shock and said “yes, I slept with her and the doctor told me I had STI”. I started to cry and I ran out of the room and told his mother and his grandparents. His grandparents were trying to comfort me and his grandpa scolded him saying “he never wants to see me cry again because it was too heartbreaking”. That morning I got ready to go to the hospital to get treated. I remember crying in the hospital and trying to keep a straight face through the whole procedure. I requested for him to be in the room to show him the whole process of what a woman has to go through just to get treated. Since the pharmacy was closed I had to wait for the next day to receive my medication. We started heading back to his home and he told me he will never do it again because he never wanted to see me in a hospital gown. I didn’t have time to cope. I just wanted to finish my semester and try to get closer to finishing my associate without falling apart.
During this whole process I told him to call Lexis about what happened and this is a serious situation that she needs to know. He asked “Why should I?” That is when I said “she had the right to know and I don’t want her to suffer horrible symptoms”. Later that day he told her about the STI situation and told her to get checked. She was upset thinking it was her ex that gave it to her. Few days later I noticed they started texting each other about how life would be with each other. That’s when I got the courage to text her myself on snapchat and asked “do you know a guy named____”. That’s when she said “yes, who are you?” I said “oh, I’m his girlfriend of six years and I would really appreciate you stop texting him”. That's when she sent a voice message saying she didn’t know he had a gf. She remembers my username and whenever she asks “who is that?” he responds saying “oh, that's just my roommate, nothing important”. That made me cry so much and she told me to leave him. He doesn't deserve you. That’s when she called him and I could hear her yelling and she blocked him after that.
After all that, that's when the semester ended I started working at a grocery store part-time. This is when I met a guy named Nathan (fake name) a 43 yr old male who is a first responder who also works part-time at the grocery store. Nathan was a very interesting guy easy to talk to. We usually talked about the classes I was planning to take next semester and we talked about his life when he used to be in his early 20’s. Ever since I started talking to Nathan my boyfriend started getting jealous and started questioning me. I told him nothing is happening between me and the guy that is twice my age.
Since then, summer has come around the corner. I knew my twentieth-second birthday was coming up. My family suggested I should have my birthday at one of the theme parks that's located closer to my older brother. I agreed and my parents also suggested bringing my boyfriend along. I know I was stupid enough to still be with him. He wanted to make this work. Also, I didn't want to abandon him because he had no one at this time and I didn’t want to be heartless. I always try to include him into my family trips. He always denied my invitation especially when it comes to special events such as my birthday. On my upcoming twentieth-second birthday I asked if he wanted to celebrate my birthday with me at the theme park. I asked him six months in advance he couldn’t make a decision and he had only a month to decide. So, I made the decision to take him with me. The trip was great, however, he rarely talked to me during the trip. I didn’t know if he was mad or if I did anything wrong. At least my family and I enjoyed the trip. That's all that matters.
When I came back from my trip I finally relaxed and everything was fine. That’s when I started to burst into tears everything I bottled up was finally taking control. I wanted to talk to my boyfriend about our relationship but he said “I have to go home, I have other things to do, we'll talk later”. So, I tried calling him over the phone because I wanted answers from him. He told me “you need to get over it…It was in the past, you should just take this time to heal because you’re being too emotional”. That's all he said to me and just hung up. I tried calling back but he never answered everyday for the past three weeks.
So, I just went back to my work and just acted like nothing happened. I was so heartbroken that I didn’t know what to do. I kept thinking about what he has done to me especially when he didn’t tell me about the STI. I really thought about how he watched my health decline and never had the heart to tell me the truth. All because he was afraid of the consequences he had to face. I've been with one person in my life and I still got an STI from doing nothing and all I could think about was how my body was ruined because I wasn't careful.
During this heartbreak realization I remember that I was going to school to better myself in the future, not for him. That’s when I started thinking about my career choice and I really wanted to work in the medical field. To be able to do this I need to update some documents which means I need to renew my BLS certification for one of my upcoming classes. That's when Nathan popped into my mind so I contacted him asking if there was any BLS training going on that he knows of. I was happy that Nathan found an opening for me and I signed up for the training for next week. Since I was on the phone with him we started chatting and I started telling him about my relationship with my boyfriend. Nathan was pretty shocked that my boyfriend would ruin a good relationship with someone that actually cared for him. We chatted until I fell asleep on the phone with him and that was the first night I haven’t cried myself to sleep.
After I finished my BLS training, the instructor told me my certification will be sent through my email. Then I saw Nathan helping the instructor packing the equipment up. I asked if I could help, they both agreed and Nathan asked why I wanted to help. I just said “I’m just bored and I just wanted to do something even if it's just putting stuff away”. When we were putting the equipment away, the instructor informed Nathan that he had to go home and told Nathan to finish what we started. As we were leaving he asked if I had a ride home. I said “No, but I would be happy if you could take me home”. FYI I just walked to the BLS training and it wasn’t that far lol.
During this conversation I asked where he was going after he dropped me off. He told me that he had to drop off most of the equipment at his work. Me being curious I asked if he could take me and maybe show me around, thinking he would deny me. He said “sure, I don't mind” and he told me that some of his co-workers might be there. I told him “I don’t mind seeing his co-workers”. His co-workers were very friendly towards me and talkative. Nathan started showing me around the building; it was just a simple tour. I started to notice most of his co-workers left the building to go home or to take care of other stuff. So this means I was alone with him in his office and my mind started to wonder how it would be if I slept with Nathan. I knew if I was going to sleep with Nathan I’m going to feel like a hypocrite. Also he's twice my age, so I had to get my mind out of the gutter. I started telling him different shows to watch to distract me from doing something stupid.
That’s when Nathan started talking about my relationship with my boyfriend and I told him “I don't think I can fix my relationship with him anymore”. We started talking about different things and out of nowhere he started making moves on me. When I noticed this I looked at him and he said “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that”. I really thought about it and I just said “fuck it!!”. As we were making out, his co-workers came back and we had to stop. Later that night he drove me back home and we started talking about what happened. I started tearing up because I had never done anything like this and I was nervous. He reassured me that “it was okay”, he told me that he was also nervous too, especially how this can affect our friendship. That's when I told him I wanted to go through with it so he took me back to his place.
The next morning I came back to my apartment and got ready for the day. And out of nowhere my boyfriend came back home and started showering me with affection. I was scared of him finding out what I did especially if he found the love bites Nathan gave me. I knew he was going to find out soon or later but I wanted to wait because he told me he had a bad day and seeing me his day got better. He also told me that I look sexy for some reason and he wanted to do the devil's tango. So, I just agreed as we were doing the devil's tango he found the love bites and I just said “oh, something hit me lol”. I want to note that I sucked at lying.
Two weeks have passed and I still haven’t told him everything. One night he told me he was going out with his friends to a bar downtown. This was the first time I saw him go to a bar. I remember waiting for him all night until he came back in the afternoon and smelled like cigarettes and a little buzzed. Two days later he said he was heading out again to the bars downtown. I asked if he was coming straight home or are you staying at your friend's house again he never gave me a clear answer. Later that night I got a video call from Nathan. We started talking and I accidently fell asleep on the call with Nathan. That's when my boyfriend came in and noticed the video called this was his opportunity to look through my phone.
I woke up in the middle of the night watching him look through my phone. I didn’t know what to do. He started to yell at me and I was scared to even do anything I just sat there until he was done. I was nervous that he would do something that he would regret while under the influence. I just watched him until he fell asleep in the living room. To be honest I have no clue what is going to happen when he wakes up. The next day it was a normal day. He really didn’t want to talk to me and I knew it would be my turn to face the consequences I made.
As a few weeks passed I started to notice little things missing around the apartment and it was my boyfriend's items. That evening he wouldn’t talk to me and he just grabbed his stuff and left. When he was leaving I tried my best to talk to him but he wasn’t having it. So, I started to cry and that’s when Nathan called me and I told him that he just left without saying anything. Since he was no longer living with me I had to take him off the lease. It really didn’t bother me taking him off because I was the only one paying and he never helped me.
After he left I picked up my big girl pants and started working towards my education. As a few months passed by, I got my drivers license, associate's degree, and got my nursing assistant certification. It may not seem a lot but it is a start to a new beginning and to continue my education in the medical field.
AITA for cheating on my boyfriend and My question is what would you do if you were in my situation?
submitted by Mindless-Mistake-280 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
I am a (23f) and my boyfriend is a (23m). We were high school sweethearts and our relationship lasted at least six years. This story may be long but I think it's best to know the whole story. Also, sorry about my bad grammar and punctuation.
During my time in high school I was always a “good person” even if you don’t want to believe me. I’ve always been the “quiet type" according to my classmates. So, I never thought I would have a relationship during my high school years because I was mostly afraid of men and my parents are strict. The reason why I was afraid of men is a whole different story.
During my first day of high school, I felt more confident about myself and I realized that I wanted to dress up more. So I did and that's when my future boyfriend started noticing me however there was an issue he had a girlfriend. Also, his girlfriend was my best friend. So, I never acknowledged his existence and just focused on my school work and continued with my day. A few months later my best friend cheated on him and they broke it off. That's when I popped in and he asked me out and I said “no” so he waited a couple more days to ask me again. That’s when I agreed to be his girlfriend and I didn’t know what to do because this was my first relationship. To be honest I think I was just a rebound, nothing special.
During this relationship I was clueless what a girlfriend does during a relationship. So, I asked my closest friends for any relationship tips and most of their boyfriends were telling me what to do. The only thing that I wasn’t ready for was intimate stuff because I was still scared of men which made me scared of him. Even if I didn’t feel ready to do most things I forced myself to do anything he wanted because I was scared of him. When I finally had the courage to tell him he was very understanding and we took things slow until I felt more comfortable and ready.
We did everything together. He was my first for everything and I was happy being with him. I was always supportive of him and he was also supportive of me. I genuinely fell in love with him. One day he said “I want us to be serious” when I heard this from him I said “are you sure?” and he said “yes”. Since he wanted to be “serious" I had to tell my parents because I wanted them to know. During this time of happiness there is always sadness that takes place.
One late evening I got a call. He told me that he cheated on me with someone else named Lexis (fake name) and he told me that he might have gotten her pregnant. He told me this wasn’t the first time he cheated. The beginning of our relationship he had intercorse with his ex’ because I told him that I wasn’t ready to be intimate with him. When I heard this from him I was so heartbroken that I started crying and I didn’t know what to do. So, we decided to break up, especially since we graduated from high school.
During this time I decided to go to college and get my associates degree. The first semester was nerve racking however I managed to get straight A’s. During my second semester, my ex boyfriend and I started talking again. He came over to my apartment to give me a gift as an apology for what happened in the past. The gifts contained a bouquet of white roses, chocolate, a necklace and a ring with a blue sapphire in the middle and little diamonds around the sapphire. The ring was a promise ring and I was shocked because he told me it cost him an arm and a leg. I was scared because I know how much his family struggled with money and I didn’t want him to spend his savings on me. I tried to reason with him to return it and get his money back but he really wanted to make this work. So, I agreed to continue our relationship and try to make this work.
We started living together in the apartment and our relationship was doing great. Until one evening he was distant and wouldn’t let me near his phone especially if I wanted to look up something or call someone. So, one evening I had to look through his phone and I knew I was invading his privacy. I just needed to know what was going on. When I looked through his phone I noticed that he's been texting five other women and he was using his rent money for onlyfans. When I was looking over his text message I saw someone familiar and it was Lexis. I wanted to wake him up and confront him, however I knew this wouldn’t do anything. So, I took off his promise ring and put it on my finger because I know I can keep a promise. Of course this became a problem lol.
Of course I forgave him and did whatever he asked of me. I just focused on my studies and tried to make time for our relationship. Everything was great until he told me he had to go to Texas with his grandparents and family. It was surprising because he told me last minute and he rarely goes out of state. But I didn’t want to make a fuss about anything because I adore his grandparents and his whole family. He left for two weeks and I usually update him on what's been going on for the past two weeks.
When he came back I was so happy to see him that we started to cuddle with each other. As days passed I noticed he was distressed about something and I wanted to talk to him but he kept pushing me away. The next day he went to work. It was just a regular day until he came walking through the door a few hours later. He told me he was in pain for a couple of days and some reason he thought the pain would just go away. I told him let's go to the hospital but he kept refusing to go to the hospital. I didn't want him in pain so I convinced him to go to the hospital and I would be there for him.
We went to the hospital and I waited to make sure he was seen and cared for. When he was being cared for I saw one of his aunties working as a security guard and I told her that he was refusing to go to hospital even though he was in pain. She told me to call her if this happens again and she’ll drag him to the hospital herself lol. She really appreciates me for taking care of her nephew. He saw us talking and we spent our time talking to his auntie until his medication was ready at the pharmacy.
As we started to leave, I asked him some questions about the diagnosis or what medication did you receive. He didn’t say much about what happened in the hospital; the only thing he told me was the name of the medication. The medication sounded so familiar especially since I was taking a class about pathophysiology. The medication he mentioned was doxycycline. I remember the medication is an antibiotic which is used to treat infections. This got me thinking about what he was hiding from me. I remember I wrote down his symptoms on my phone. I wanted to ask him more questions and how this happened but I knew I wasn’t going to get an answer.
A day after the hospital incident we plan to go to his family's home and stay for the weekend. I wanted to talk to him about the hospital because I was getting worried about my health. Everytime I tried to talk about it he wouldn’t tell me anything then I started noticing something was wrong with me. So, the next morning when he was fast asleep I had to look through his phone again. When I was looking through his phone he mentioned having sex with Lexis during his family trip to Texas. I knew he was hiding something but I didn't want to believe it. So, I slapped his ass awake and I started yelling "did you have sex with Lexis and what was the diagnosis?” He looked at me in shock and said “yes, I slept with her and the doctor told me I had STI”. I started to cry and I ran out of the room and told his mother and his grandparents. His grandparents were trying to comfort me and his grandpa scolded him saying “he never wants to see me cry again because it was too heartbreaking”. That morning I got ready to go to the hospital to get treated. I remember crying in the hospital and trying to keep a straight face through the whole procedure. I requested for him to be in the room to show him the whole process of what a woman has to go through just to get treated. Since the pharmacy was closed I had to wait for the next day to receive my medication. We started heading back to his home and he told me he will never do it again because he never wanted to see me in a hospital gown. I didn’t have time to cope. I just wanted to finish my semester and try to get closer to finishing my associate without falling apart.
During this whole process I told him to call Lexis about what happened and this is a serious situation that she needs to know. He asked “Why should I?” That is when I said “she had the right to know and I don’t want her to suffer horrible symptoms”. Later that day he told her about the STI situation and told her to get checked. She was upset thinking it was her ex that gave it to her. Few days later I noticed they started texting each other about how life would be with each other. That’s when I got the courage to text her myself on snapchat and asked “do you know a guy named____”. That’s when she said “yes, who are you?” I said “oh, I’m his girlfriend of six years and I would really appreciate you stop texting him”. That's when she sent a voice message saying she didn’t know he had a gf. She remembers my username and whenever she asks “who is that?” he responds saying “oh, that's just my roommate, nothing important”. That made me cry so much and she told me to leave him. He doesn't deserve you. That’s when she called him and I could hear her yelling and she blocked him after that.
After all that, that's when the semester ended I started working at a grocery store part-time. This is when I met a guy named Nathan (fake name) a 43 yr old male who is a first responder who also works part-time at the grocery store. Nathan was a very interesting guy easy to talk to. We usually talked about the classes I was planning to take next semester and we talked about his life when he used to be in his early 20’s. Ever since I started talking to Nathan my boyfriend started getting jealous and started questioning me. I told him nothing is happening between me and the guy that is twice my age.
Since then, summer has come around the corner. I knew my twentieth-second birthday was coming up. My family suggested I should have my birthday at one of the theme parks that's located closer to my older brother. I agreed and my parents also suggested bringing my boyfriend along. I know I was stupid enough to still be with him. He wanted to make this work. Also, I didn't want to abandon him because he had no one at this time and I didn’t want to be heartless. I always try to include him into my family trips. He always denied my invitation especially when it comes to special events such as my birthday. On my upcoming twentieth-second birthday I asked if he wanted to celebrate my birthday with me at the theme park. I asked him six months in advance he couldn’t make a decision and he had only a month to decide. So, I made the decision to take him with me. The trip was great, however, he rarely talked to me during the trip. I didn’t know if he was mad or if I did anything wrong. At least my family and I enjoyed the trip. That's all that matters.
When I came back from my trip I finally relaxed and everything was fine. That’s when I started to burst into tears everything I bottled up was finally taking control. I wanted to talk to my boyfriend about our relationship but he said “I have to go home, I have other things to do, we'll talk later”. So, I tried calling him over the phone because I wanted answers from him. He told me “you need to get over it…It was in the past, you should just take this time to heal because you’re being too emotional”. That's all he said to me and just hung up. I tried calling back but he never answered everyday for the past three weeks.
So, I just went back to my work and just acted like nothing happened. I was so heartbroken that I didn’t know what to do. I kept thinking about what he has done to me especially when he didn’t tell me about the STI. I really thought about how he watched my health decline and never had the heart to tell me the truth. All because he was afraid of the consequences he had to face. I've been with one person in my life and I still got an STI from doing nothing and all I could think about was how my body was ruined because I wasn't careful.
During this heartbreak realization I remember that I was going to school to better myself in the future, not for him. That’s when I started thinking about my career choice and I really wanted to work in the medical field. To be able to do this I need to update some documents which means I need to renew my BLS certification for one of my upcoming classes. That's when Nathan popped into my mind so I contacted him asking if there was any BLS training going on that he knows of. I was happy that Nathan found an opening for me and I signed up for the training for next week. Since I was on the phone with him we started chatting and I started telling him about my relationship with my boyfriend. Nathan was pretty shocked that my boyfriend would ruin a good relationship with someone that actually cared for him. We chatted until I fell asleep on the phone with him and that was the first night I haven’t cried myself to sleep.
After I finished my BLS training, the instructor told me my certification will be sent through my email. Then I saw Nathan helping the instructor packing the equipment up. I asked if I could help, they both agreed and Nathan asked why I wanted to help. I just said “I’m just bored and I just wanted to do something even if it's just putting stuff away”. When we were putting the equipment away, the instructor informed Nathan that he had to go home and told Nathan to finish what we started. As we were leaving he asked if I had a ride home. I said “No, but I would be happy if you could take me home”. FYI I just walked to the BLS training and it wasn’t that far lol.
During this conversation I asked where he was going after he dropped me off. He told me that he had to drop off most of the equipment at his work. Me being curious I asked if he could take me and maybe show me around, thinking he would deny me. He said “sure, I don't mind” and he told me that some of his co-workers might be there. I told him “I don’t mind seeing his co-workers”. His co-workers were very friendly towards me and talkative. Nathan started showing me around the building; it was just a simple tour. I started to notice most of his co-workers left the building to go home or to take care of other stuff. So this means I was alone with him in his office and my mind started to wonder how it would be if I slept with Nathan. I knew if I was going to sleep with Nathan I’m going to feel like a hypocrite. Also he's twice my age, so I had to get my mind out of the gutter. I started telling him different shows to watch to distract me from doing something stupid.
That’s when Nathan started talking about my relationship with my boyfriend and I told him “I don't think I can fix my relationship with him anymore”. We started talking about different things and out of nowhere he started making moves on me. When I noticed this I looked at him and he said “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that”. I really thought about it and I just said “fuck it!!”. As we were making out, his co-workers came back and we had to stop. Later that night he drove me back home and we started talking about what happened. I started tearing up because I had never done anything like this and I was nervous. He reassured me that “it was okay”, he told me that he was also nervous too, especially how this can affect our friendship. That's when I told him I wanted to go through with it so he took me back to his place.
The next morning I came back to my apartment and got ready for the day. And out of nowhere my boyfriend came back home and started showering me with affection. I was scared of him finding out what I did especially if he found the love bites Nathan gave me. I knew he was going to find out soon or later but I wanted to wait because he told me he had a bad day and seeing me his day got better. He also told me that I look sexy for some reason and he wanted to do the devil's tango. So, I just agreed as we were doing the devil's tango he found the love bites and I just said “oh, something hit me lol”. I want to note that I sucked at lying.
Two weeks have passed and I still haven’t told him everything. One night he told me he was going out with his friends to a bar downtown. This was the first time I saw him go to a bar. I remember waiting for him all night until he came back in the afternoon and smelled like cigarettes and a little buzzed. Two days later he said he was heading out again to the bars downtown. I asked if he was coming straight home or are you staying at your friend's house again he never gave me a clear answer. Later that night I got a video call from Nathan. We started talking and I accidently fell asleep on the call with Nathan. That's when my boyfriend came in and noticed the video called this was his opportunity to look through my phone.
I woke up in the middle of the night watching him look through my phone. I didn’t know what to do. He started to yell at me and I was scared to even do anything I just sat there until he was done. I was nervous that he would do something that he would regret while under the influence. I just watched him until he fell asleep in the living room. To be honest I have no clue what is going to happen when he wakes up. The next day it was a normal day. He really didn’t want to talk to me and I knew it would be my turn to face the consequences I made.
As a few weeks passed I started to notice little things missing around the apartment and it was my boyfriend's items. That evening he wouldn’t talk to me and he just grabbed his stuff and left. When he was leaving I tried my best to talk to him but he wasn’t having it. So, I started to cry and that’s when Nathan called me and I told him that he just left without saying anything. Since he was no longer living with me I had to take him off the lease. It really didn’t bother me taking him off because I was the only one paying and he never helped me.
After he left I picked up my big girl pants and started working towards my education. As a few months passed by, I got my drivers license, associate's degree, and got my nursing assistant certification. It may not seem a lot but it is a start to a new beginning and to continue my education in the medical field.
AITA for cheating on my boyfriend and My question is what would you do if you were in my situation?
2024.06.04 21:45 t-away_hey_hey_hey The 5 distinct types of professional athletes in Haikyuu (manga spoilers!)
As a lifelong sports fan one of my favorite things about Haikyuu is the realism and relatability. Sure, the creators take some artistic liberties here and there and the dialogue isn't always natural. It's an anime after all. But they still do a really good job of highlighting the different personality types and challenges you are faced with as a teenager who plays team sports.
But the most interesting part for me is how the series illustrates so many different paths towards becoming a professional athlete. It's both fascinating and realistic!
Now there are obviously more than 5 types, but the way I see it they tend to be sub-categories of (or very similar to) the ones mentioned below.
And if the title wasn't enough of warning: manga spoilers below
1. The Inevitable: Ushijima
Self-explanatory and probably not a surprise to anyone. Ushijima is a professional athlete in every sense of the word. Naturally tall and athletic with a dad who also played volleyball professionally. His path is pretty much set from the get go. Ideal circumstances combined with an environment that allows him to have a singular focus on volleyball and hone his skills. His left-handedness also serves as a nice bonus.
If there is such a thing as destiny, then these types are surely destined to become professional athletes. Only bad luck (injuries etc) can stop them. They are simply inevitable.
2. The Classic Professional: Kageyama
Being equally hard-working, equally focused and more or less equally talented, you would think that Kageyama belongs in the category above. But you would also be wrong. Most people, professionals included, must break through some form of barrier to advance in life. And Kageyama is no exception. Being a hyper-individualist who's probably on the spectrum (my opinion), he needs to learn how to become a true team player.
What makes Kageyama's story so interesting is that his being in many ways is a contradiction. His role as a setter means that he must be a team player in every sense of the word, yet his personality is that of an individualist. He is honestly more suited to be an ace or even play an entirely different sport like tennis. But with proper coaching and the right team mates he is able to overcome these challenges. That is part of what makes Haikyuu so great. Kageyama elevates Karasuno, but they also elevate him. And that is also why Kageyama is not inevitable.
3. The Underdog: Hinata
No surprises here. Hinata is the protagonist after all, and we all know about his limitations (lack of height + no proper coaching before high school). In real life it is very rare to see people overcome such poor circumstances and make it to the top, but it definitely happens. And it makes for a compelling story every time. I think we humans don't like limitations. It is liberating and inspiring when someone comes along a shatters these established "rules".
But what people forget is that passion, work ethic and focus on Hinata's level also is a form of talent that you can be born with. To reach the top despite physical limitations (for instance) you need to be at the absolute top in the more "grindy" aspects. And that is who Hinata is. He is an underdog, but only because we compare him to the very best. There is however nothing underdog-esque about his personality traits. And that is why people like him also can succeed and defy all expectations.
4. The Situational: Oikawa
While having better circumstances than the underdog, people like Oikawa still need to grind every step of the way to get where they want. This is also very much a theme in his story. But I want to focus on another aspect: Argentina!
It is sometimes easy to forget how incredibly important your surroundings are when growing as a player. I'm not just talking about your team mates, coaches or parents. I'm talking about the very location and culture you are a part of. Many professionals today got to where they are largely because they were at the right place for their personality. There are professionals who admit that if they grew up in country A instead of country B, then they would not have succeeded. The best real life example I can think of are countries where kids are encouraged to play and grow rather than win. If the focus is only to win, then the physically strong kids will just brute-force their way forward without honing their skills, while the smaller kids get pushed out.
While this is not what happened to Oikawa, it is interesting that he moved to Argentina and even got an Argentinian citizenship. Perhaps a change of scenery was all he needed? Sometimes success can be just that situational. Not because you lack the skills and effort, but because you need your surroundings to be a little different.
5. The Mercenary: Tsukushima
As unfair as it may sound, not all professional athletes are exceptionally hard-working or passionate. In fact, the Mercenary is FAR more common than a player like Hinata. Some people are simply gifted enough to reach the top without committing 100% and I believe that this is true for Tsukushima, even though he has a very satisfying character arc. There is a difference between caring and being singularly focused. And while we can't know for sure (because of the time skip), I don't think Tsukushima ever reached the same level of passion and commitment as the other 4 above.
And that is fine! The idea that professional athletes should be "all in" is a romantic one, but it's not based on reality. Sometimes people are just talented enough and figure out that they can go far with just a few tweaks here and there.
In some of the more crazy real life cases, the Mercenary doesn't even start playing their sport before they are adults! In other cases they juggle multiple sports and eventually just decide on one because they find it to tiring to compete in all of them. And yes, money does of course play a part here. That is why "mercenary" is an actual term used by sports fans.
These are just some thoughts I had recently. If you powered through all of that: thank you for reading!
submitted by t-away_hey_hey_hey to haikyuu [link] [comments]
But the most interesting part for me is how the series illustrates so many different paths towards becoming a professional athlete. It's both fascinating and realistic!
Now there are obviously more than 5 types, but the way I see it they tend to be sub-categories of (or very similar to) the ones mentioned below.
And if the title wasn't enough of warning: manga spoilers below
Self-explanatory and probably not a surprise to anyone. Ushijima is a professional athlete in every sense of the word. Naturally tall and athletic with a dad who also played volleyball professionally. His path is pretty much set from the get go. Ideal circumstances combined with an environment that allows him to have a singular focus on volleyball and hone his skills. His left-handedness also serves as a nice bonus.
If there is such a thing as destiny, then these types are surely destined to become professional athletes. Only bad luck (injuries etc) can stop them. They are simply inevitable.
2. The Classic Professional: Kageyama
Being equally hard-working, equally focused and more or less equally talented, you would think that Kageyama belongs in the category above. But you would also be wrong. Most people, professionals included, must break through some form of barrier to advance in life. And Kageyama is no exception. Being a hyper-individualist who's probably on the spectrum (my opinion), he needs to learn how to become a true team player.
What makes Kageyama's story so interesting is that his being in many ways is a contradiction. His role as a setter means that he must be a team player in every sense of the word, yet his personality is that of an individualist. He is honestly more suited to be an ace or even play an entirely different sport like tennis. But with proper coaching and the right team mates he is able to overcome these challenges. That is part of what makes Haikyuu so great. Kageyama elevates Karasuno, but they also elevate him. And that is also why Kageyama is not inevitable.
3. The Underdog: Hinata
No surprises here. Hinata is the protagonist after all, and we all know about his limitations (lack of height + no proper coaching before high school). In real life it is very rare to see people overcome such poor circumstances and make it to the top, but it definitely happens. And it makes for a compelling story every time. I think we humans don't like limitations. It is liberating and inspiring when someone comes along a shatters these established "rules".
But what people forget is that passion, work ethic and focus on Hinata's level also is a form of talent that you can be born with. To reach the top despite physical limitations (for instance) you need to be at the absolute top in the more "grindy" aspects. And that is who Hinata is. He is an underdog, but only because we compare him to the very best. There is however nothing underdog-esque about his personality traits. And that is why people like him also can succeed and defy all expectations.
4. The Situational: Oikawa
While having better circumstances than the underdog, people like Oikawa still need to grind every step of the way to get where they want. This is also very much a theme in his story. But I want to focus on another aspect: Argentina!
It is sometimes easy to forget how incredibly important your surroundings are when growing as a player. I'm not just talking about your team mates, coaches or parents. I'm talking about the very location and culture you are a part of. Many professionals today got to where they are largely because they were at the right place for their personality. There are professionals who admit that if they grew up in country A instead of country B, then they would not have succeeded. The best real life example I can think of are countries where kids are encouraged to play and grow rather than win. If the focus is only to win, then the physically strong kids will just brute-force their way forward without honing their skills, while the smaller kids get pushed out.
While this is not what happened to Oikawa, it is interesting that he moved to Argentina and even got an Argentinian citizenship. Perhaps a change of scenery was all he needed? Sometimes success can be just that situational. Not because you lack the skills and effort, but because you need your surroundings to be a little different.
5. The Mercenary: Tsukushima
As unfair as it may sound, not all professional athletes are exceptionally hard-working or passionate. In fact, the Mercenary is FAR more common than a player like Hinata. Some people are simply gifted enough to reach the top without committing 100% and I believe that this is true for Tsukushima, even though he has a very satisfying character arc. There is a difference between caring and being singularly focused. And while we can't know for sure (because of the time skip), I don't think Tsukushima ever reached the same level of passion and commitment as the other 4 above.
And that is fine! The idea that professional athletes should be "all in" is a romantic one, but it's not based on reality. Sometimes people are just talented enough and figure out that they can go far with just a few tweaks here and there.
In some of the more crazy real life cases, the Mercenary doesn't even start playing their sport before they are adults! In other cases they juggle multiple sports and eventually just decide on one because they find it to tiring to compete in all of them. And yes, money does of course play a part here. That is why "mercenary" is an actual term used by sports fans.