Personal water treatment

​
Note: I would be happy to send the documents of both the petition story and the allegations if anyone wants to DM.
Situation: Order of Protection (This was filed in brooklyn FAMILY court in Kings County - it's clearly stated that nothing criminal or civil is being filed).
I was in a causal relationship with a girl for about 10 months. There was a lot of emotions and drama between us and often we didn't get along well but nothing more serious than that happened. I always felt sad and mistreated and she would often feel the same and this would lead to us getting mad at and sending angry texts to each other.
Anyway, at one point she and I were going through a rough week and then we decided I should go to her place and, although there were some tense moments, we seemed to get along fine and the next morning she said she was looking forward to hanging out again. The next day I found out she blocked and ghosted me on all platforms.
She has a friend who frequently throws public DJ events at bars. The day after being ghosted I was drinking at my watering hole I've been going to for years as a regular, this was after I went to a concert. I was still confused and hurt. I saw on instagram that her friend was literally throwing a public event next door. I went next door and saw her friend but not her. I asked her friend if she was there and her friend laughed in my face before telling me she wasn't there. I didn't cause a scene I just left and assumed that was the end of us.
After a few weeks I'm shocked to receive a petition for a restraining order that is filled with at least 19 allegations that are all completely false and even absurd but also quite serious. Everything from multiple forms of abuse to grand larceny in the 3rd/4th degree, identity theft, criminal mischief, strangulation and more. The story she has wrote was also filled with completely false things or things that are deeply distorted in the retelling (Saying i regularly verbally abused her etc). Only some of the many many allegations are even addressed at all in the petition and she was required to give specific dates (I have text evidence to prove these specific dates and times couldn't happen happen the way she described.). An example is how there was a point where she told me I could come to her birthday party (A large public event) and then once I got there she decided to ignore all my communication and not let me in. The bouncer said the place was at capacity (true) but she said in her petition that the bouncer said I was too intoxicated and I became belligerent (not true). Another example is how there was a seperate time when she posted on her IG story that she was at a certain bar when promoting a certain DJ. At that time we were in a rocky point but I thought she would still want to see me and patch things up so, I went to where she was to talk. She didn't appreciate that so after about 20 minutes of civilized talking, we parted ways. She is trying to characterize that incident as an example of my constant stalking (no proof that this is my behavior).
I found that that what she most likely did was go to the court in person and get some type of social worker to draft up the petition for her. In these instances they often encourage you to write everything you can possibly think of, big or small, just to see what may stick. I'm understand now that these judges are probably more likely to grant an order than deny one because there isn't much consequence for them.
Questions:
1) Needless to say I'm really hurt that so many serious lies are even being said about me and would like to lawyer up and fight this. At first I assumed that it would be clear how absurd and emotional this person is being and that I pose no threat (I have no intention of ever communication with this person again). However, I'm realizing that doing this battle may be many thousands of dollars and this may even take a year to conclude with how many cases are in BK. Is it worth it? I need to know that this is most likely going to go in my favor if I fight.
2) Some attorneys are saying for significantly less that they can create a situation where accept an order of protection but admit guilt to none of the allegations. If this is the route I take, is it possible for anyone to see the lies that she wrote in any way down the road? I don't even want some of these ideas to ever be tied to my name. I'm not capable of these things.
3) If I do accept an order of protection I know I can't communicate with her or go to her home or work obviously but how worried do I have to be about innocently and accidentally running into her on a street or at a venue? If she feels vindictive how easily can she weaponize a moment like this against me?
4) Any other advice is deeply appreciated as well as any more info about how this process will/may go.
​
Thank you so much to anyone (qualified) who responds. I need to make a decision before the initial hearing which is coming in weeks.
​

This is in reference to this recent post on Cosmere. The title is intentionally provocative, and the word "debatable" is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Still, I was surprised how fervently most commenters defended Kaladin. It seems to me that Kaladin is constantly doubting himself and struggling with what is right, and so too should the reader. There are many things to talk about, which commenters in the original thread have pointed out, but in this post I want to focus on his role as a soldier in Amaram's army, which is, in my opinion, his biggest moral failing.
The basic argument is this: even a non-pacifist should agree that a war requires very good justification and defaults to being unjust otherwise. After all, wars involve a lot of killing. A soldier, then, has a moral duty to avoid participating in unnecessary wars, lest he become a murderer. Amaram's wars are clearly pointless and unnecessary, yet, Kaladin continues to willingly participate.
He does this by intentionally separating people into "us" and "them," and protecting only the "us."

There were six spearmen here, all wearing brown. Kaladin spun among them in a wild offensive rush. His spear seemed to flow of its own accord. He swept the feet out from under one man, took down another with a thrown knife. He was like water running down a hill, flowing, always moving. He could not be stopped. [...] Odd. There hadn't been a breeze before. Now it seemed to envelope him. All six enemy spearmen were dead or incapacitated.

He protected Cenn -- a laudable achievement -- but did so by killing 6 people. Compare this with the appearance of Shallan's brother, the shardbearer:

"NO!" Kaladin bellowed. "NO!" Dallet's body fell back to the ground, eyes seeming to catch alight, smoke rising from them. The shardbearer cut down Cyn and trampled Lyndel before moving on. It was all done with nonchalance, like a woman pausing to wipe a spot on the counter. (Ch. 47, WoK)

It is unsurprising and very understandable that Kaladin would detest the man killing his friends. But the intensity of this hatred is nevertheless ironic, especially considering that the ease with which Helaran kills Kaladin's squad is eerily similar to the ease with which Kaladin killed the spearmen. Each of those six spearmen was "Dallet" to someone. When Helaran kills Kaladin's friends, we feel Kaladin's pain, his anger, and his grief, but he himself had just caused such grief moments before, without a second thought. We should not overlook this, just because we did not see the Kaladin on the other side cry out in pain as our Kaladin slaughtered his friends.
I think most people would rightly point out that Kaladin is the most honorable and good he can possibly be, given that he is a soldier fighting a messy war. I would agree -- but it is not a given that he has to be a soldier. Even after coming to Amaram's army:

He stood watching as [the surgeon's] apprentices folded bandages. Kaladin had once idly considered getting wounded so he could join them. [...] Kaladin hadn't been able to do it. Wounding himself seemed cowardly. (Ch. 47, WoK).

It would be one thing if Kaladin carefully weighed the choices of protecting by killing, or refusing to kill, and reluctantly made the choice to kill for the greater good. But this is not what he does:

"How can you hurt people, Tukks? They're just poor darkeyed slobs like us." "I think about my mates," Tukks said. "[...] My squad is my family now." "So you kill someone else's family?" [...] "Don't worry about the war. Or even the battle. Focus on your squadmates, Kal. Keep them alive."

Following Tukks's advice, Kaladin forces himself to ignore the humanity of the enemy, focusing instead on protecting his friends. This works, until the battle in Kholinar, and Kaladin is forced to reckon with the fact that the "enemy" could be his friends too.
I do not mean to suggest that Kaladin is a bad person. But there are characters (Renarin, Lift, etc.) who are good in the sense that they have not killed unnecessarily, and Kaladin, who is surely responsible for many orphans, widows, and grieving parents, is not one of them. This automatically makes him a morally gray character. In the end, this is a good thing! Kaladin would be a boring character otherwise. Kaladin uses Tukks's crutch of partitioning people into groups: the weak, the innocent, and friends and allies are to be protected, but others not fitting these categories can be killed in service of that protection. Throughout the series, this justification becomes weaker and weaker, until it eventually cracks in Oathbringer, causing him to freeze, and plunging him deeper into a depression that he spends all of RoW recovering from. It is only because Kaladin is a morally gray character that he is able to have this character arc at all.

I was diagnosed with DID several years ago, and have been in treatment with a specialist for about 3 years.
I've made a lot of progress with my system, and eventually got to a point where my diagnosis was reduced to OSDD-1, because my blackouts became so infrequent. My symptoms reduced so much that I ended up being able to more or less ignore my system for several months.
Feeling like a regular person was initially blissful, and I think I really latched onto the idea of not being diagnosed with DID anymore, like that meant I was finally "normal." I ignored my system a little too hard and it eventually became a detriment—I think my communication skills with my parts have actually diminished, despite continuing therapy. With my therapist's encouragement, I'm starting to check in with my system more often and become comfortable with acknowledging my parts again.
Journaling used to be a huge part of communicating for me, but I'm struggling to get back into it. I'm looking for all the tips the community can give me about journaling, and how you guys like to structure your system journals. Any little things that you've found helpful in improving communication, getting in touch with your system, etcetera.
I hope everyone is having a peaceful night, by the way. :)

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

Hi all!
This might be a stupid question and more for my peeps who tend to wear clothes that don't really have any pockets or extra fabric (bikinis, sarongs, swimsuits sun dresses etc) but im curious as to what you all do with your phones/wallets when you're at a pool party or boat party?? Are there lockers at IR or O beach, or anywhere secure to put them? Im def a person who's gonna wanna get in the water and actually enjoy it but of course I don't wanna just leave those things around.

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Throwaway because of the subject. I'm being followed and observed everywhere I go for most of the past year. They seem to be using my cellphone as a tracking device. I notice strange things happenings to my phone, like old emails suddenly changing permissions to my photos and recorded phone activity. When I leave home my security camaras start gliching out and they stop sending notifications. Old facebook accounts which I lost access to start sending email notification of activity but I have no idea what's going on so I close the email accounts.
This same thing happend to my sister a few years ago as well, she ended up hospitalized. They really fucked her up. It all started shortly after a close realtive contracted a local equivalent of a lawyer from the CIA. At first I thought it was a political persecution as I engage online in a local forum and dating sites and sometimes have disagreements with dense people of other wings.
Things get personal quick when people start coming in too close for comfort as if I'm some kind of jihad terrorist. I start recording them as evidence and the motherfuckers start coming with kids to make it look I'm recording them. They are always step ahead of me, I trip on all their sticks.
I start having an STD and get checked out by doctors and treatment. This particular std is known to be related as intel ops to give people cancer. I'm having a wild ride while dealing with a challenging std and these people after me. I start confiding to doctors there's strange people following me. After telling a doc. says she's going to use the phone flashlight to check something out but instead she takes a pic of me. Shit goes south from there, they start doing ops where I eat and buy my food and then feel sick to my stomach, falling ill for a few days at a time.
It gets worse the more people I tell. It's a nightmare. Some days it's an all feminist group, some mixed like there are different groups, no doubt there is a medical group involved fucking up my health. I go to a lawyer to see if there is something the state is involved because it's ridiculous the amount of resources that are being employed on me, it comes out blank.
My family thinks I'm going crazy, they only do it while I'm alone. I see a psychiatrist and change meds, nothings changes things just get wilder. They start doing ops at the fucking pharmacy where I get my drugs like they are tampering with my meds.
Its been at least 3 months I have low-grade fever, fatigue, short of breath and chest pain. Then things get serious when ever I go out to pay bills and while in line people with bags start getting uncomfortable close to me, when I get home I feel absolutely wrecked. I start googling my symptoms and they match with radiation sickness. These people are doing some kind of radiotherapy to me, rendering useless my groin area, I can't even pee properly, can't eat for long periods because of the nausea.
There's also news a iodine 131 sample goes missing from a local med department the same week my house show signs of being broken into. I start having a mirradid of other health problems all linked to radiation poisoning, my house looks like is compromised. I go to my physician and he basically laughs off all of it as if he knew what the fuck is going on. Doesn't give me anything for the pain or symptoms. I get a blood analysis done and my sample get fucking stolen, wtf.
There is some kind of intel group that's summoning other groups to attack my health. Somebody fabricated something on me but they have absolutely no evidence, its seems to be all speculation. They are getting really dense now and I feel they are now trying to kill me with radiation or give me lifelong health complications. On different occasions I reached out to the police and they did nothing since no evidence, then to the municipality and then to a private investigator that basically postponed the meeting several times and ghosted me. My phone is tapped so any action I do there is a countermeasure being done by some other group.
Shit it too much and don't know for how long I can take it. Advice is welcomed if you have anything of value to add, save it if you have shitty whitty comments, enough damage is being done. Heads up, this is a third world country with equally shitty laws.

Hey all,
I have had stomach pain my entire life, and in 2014 I finally went to a GI doctor to get some testing done. I was given an EGD, and Colonoscopy along with all of the relevant pathology.
Everything came back fine, so I was sent away without any diagnosis or treatment.
Fast forward 9 years, GI doctor reaches out and says "we reviewed some pathology from your previous visits and have determined you may be at risk for cancer" . Essentially the pathologist who originally reviewed my pathology made a pretty big mistake.
I immediately book for all the same tests, and am now looking at a large amount of medical bills, as well as follow up visits to rectify a problem I've been living with since the mistake. Tests came back with a rare medical condition (EOE), and the doctor is requesting I take more tests.
My question is, what are my rights as a patient in this scenario. I feel frustrated that my quality of life has been affected, and now as I try to fix what I paid to fix 9 years ago there's additional cost.
Do I have rights in this scenario, if / so what / who would be the proper person to get additional help on this issue.

I (38f) have a friend (28f) who is in a bad relationship. I would label it abusive, not physically, but emotionally and mentally. A little over a year ago, my husband and I helped her escape a physically abusive relationship by providing her with a safe place to live (we have a guest house no one was using, so we set it up for her). She lives there still and loves it. Our only ask/rule was that no one else is allowed to move in - it’s single occupancy. She pays minimal rent, well below market for our area, and we’ve continued to pay electric, water, and internet.
Last summer was wonderful, we saw her begin to rediscover herself and her interests, make new friends, prioritize her health, etc. She expressed how happy she was and said repeatedly how she never wanted to lose her identify in a relationship again. Fast forward to the fall and she met someone. Immediately it all changed and she quit doing all that she had been doing for herself. She was late to work every day for weeks. By Christmas we began to hear what we thought were red flags. Being told she was too much, being told what she could and couldn’t say or do, that she couldn’t ask questions or expect her new partner to let her know what was happening in their life, etc, etc. When we finally met her new love interest, we heard for ourselves the disrespect and negging. Constant put downs.
Cut to now. She is over at our house two to three nights a week agonizing over this relationship and alternating between anger and hurt. Every conversation we have with her centers around her relationship. We’ve tried to be supportive and listen, only giving advice when asked. At this point she’s out near a thousand dollars that have been loaned/taken, she’s been screamed at, told she’s not allowed to talk to their parent’s alone, told that she should go have a hot girl summer, and then told that she’s the most important person, the answer to prayers, the love of their life. If she doesn’t answer her phone or text message immediately, she gets awful passive aggressive texts, but then if she sends texts, she’s left on read for a day or so. At this point, her parents, cousins, aunts, and all friends have expressed their concerns and dismay over this relationship. They go a week or two without seeing each other, then they hole up in the guest house for 3,4,5 days at a time.
Last week she told us that she was going to break it off today and asked if we could have dinner and drinks after as she would, understandingly so, be upset. We said of course! Then today I got a text saying not to be alarmed as they were going to be at her place. It’s clear now that they aren’t breaking up and I’m at a loss.
I want to be supportive, but I hate to see my friend being mistreated and so miserable on a daily basis. Selfishly, I miss my friend and my husband and I are exhausted from the two or three late night talks and rants and vents she needs weekly. She’s also drinking heavily and tends to get black out drunk. How can we continue to be supportive of her, when she’s so miserable in this new relationship but cannot seem to let it go? I want to be a safe place for her, but I am also tired and frustrated of the hours and hours each week hearing the latest awfulness and how upset she is. Both my husband and I have expressed to each other that we feel that we haven’t gotten to spend as much quality time with each other lately. How can I be a good friend, but also protect my time, and my husband’s time?

It was a lot of luck that the stock sky rocketed and helped me reach FIRE within 2 years of OE. I'm considering dropping one job to have a sane mental state. I feel like i have developed a split(dual) personality and i have to think twice before talking about work with anyone. I also forget many things in real life.
J1 is high paying, high risk, smallish company. J2 pays well but less than half of J1. It is a stable (whatever that means these days) job with big company( 5000+ employee)
OE has also caused me to be extra paranoid as staying in one job feels very risky; at the same time my life is mostly work these days. My linkedin and resume is absolutely destroyed, I'm scared of interviewing for any big company without showing a gap in my resume. I applied for a job that very well matches my skillset, just to test the waters, but quickly got rejected.
TLDR: i'm confused, scared, but I want to go back to one job. Which job should I leave?

TW for sexual, physical, medical, emotional, and religious abuse, childhood sa, suicidal ideation, and self harm
This past week has been incredibly difficult so I decided it would be good for me to write a letter to my mom to keep for myself during my healing process to get everything out and it's been very cathartic (all fake names used). Part of my healing journey has been sharing my (extremely personal) experience with others who understand, hence why I'm sharing this here, and maybe it'll give someone some strength knowing that I made it out. I hope everyone is kind to themselves this week and was able to treat this holiday as a holiday for themselves for surviving their abusive moms!
Dear mom, Happy belated Mother’s Day. My Mother’s Day was spent being upset and anxious so I decided to write this letter. This letter is so incredibly difficult to write and even more difficult to read back to myself. Moving away from my university and back home during COVID was genuinely one of the most difficult things I have done in my life simply because of all of the repressed memories that flooded back into my brain every single day I was in that house. I used to resent the pandemic for forcing me to live in an environment that made me want to harm myself every single day and die every other day, but I am now thankful for the clarity that it brought me as I don’t think I’d have the foresight that I have now.
There is a lot that I want to say. I am angry, bitter, resentful, and traumatized from things that you have done to me as a child and also as an adult. Growing up, you’re never able to fully recognize what is healthy because whatever you experience will be your barometer for normalcy. I thought for a very long time that thing were normal but thank God I now know just how truly fucked up so many of my childhood experiences were. Not a single day goes by where I don’t think about the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse that I went through. I am haunted every single day by things that you did (and some things that you didn’t do) and hope that one day I will be able to heal from what I experienced.
I grew up being close to my cousin Chloe (a year younger than me) who was obviously very bitchy, mean, and abusive. This fact isn’t something you weren’t aware of as I know a fully grown adult would be able to see how she treated and talked to me when around you and come to the obvious conclusion that I should not have been allowed to be around her. She bullied me, called me names, physically assaulted me by pushing me, pulling my hair, and sitting on me with my hands held behind my back until I couldn’t breathe, forced me to bathe in scolding hot bath water that would burn my skin, making me undress and make fun of parts of my body, and forced me to watch things that she knew would scare me. This is the same time that I started having insomnia and struggled in school due to anxiety. It’s also the same time I remember my sound sensitivity starting. Do you remember my childhood friend’s mom Amelia and how protective she was over my friend, Diana? Diana met Chloe at my 9th birthday party and Diana went over to her house for a playdate and Chloe did something to her. She physically reached over and groped Diana on the privates. I knew Amelia IMMEDIATELY prevented her daughter from ever being around Chloe again. I also knew that it's possible she mentioned this to my aunt, but I'm not positive. I know that Amelia is the type of mom to prevent Diana from reading Harry Potter because she thought it was a bad influence on her due to being “demonic”, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she made you aware of what Chloe did to Diana as she knew that I spent a lot of time around her. I doubt that what Chloe did to Diana was ever kept a secret from you. Chloe also forced me to do sexual things I didn’t want to do from roughly the ages of 8-11. One time, we were in her kitchen and she pulled out a knife and said that she was going to stab me. By then, I knew she just wanted to scare me so when I had no reaction, she put the knife away. I was terrified of what would happen if I said no to her so I went along with whatever she wanted. She would go into the bathroom and tell me to follow, would lock the door, and make me take off my clothes and let her do things to me and forced me to do the same things to her. I used to think that you had NO IDEA about this until I remember you saying the words- “you were an amazing kid and never had any problems until you got a little older. I always wondered if something happened.” Who the fuck says that to their kid? Yeah, something did happen and it wouldn’t have happened if you protected me!!!! You fucking idiot!!!! I remember being in our new house and taking a shower with you when I was about 8 (which was VERY inappropriate and should NEVER have happened at all) and saying something that clearly made you uncomfortable. I remember the exact face you made and know that any normal, healthy adult would have done something about it and made sure nothing was happening. They would have made sure I was SAFE, and talked to me about safety, but nothing was said or done. You have failed me many times, but this one is the most painful. Not only will you need to live with the fact that you knew about my abuse and did nothing, but I will have to live with the fact that my mom knew "something happened” and didn’t care about me enough to protect me. I look at my beautiful niece Hallie, and imagine not protecting her like that and want to vomit. I cannot fathom how a mother would have the thought “I wonder if something happened to my daughter to case a massive behavioral change” and NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! You didn’t talk to me, never asked me if Chloe was doing anything, or anything at all. If I even had a minor suspicion that something was happening to Hallie, I would IMMEDIATELY do something about it because THAT IS MY JOB as an adult in her life. You failed me and deserve to know that this traumatized me and gave me PTSD. I am NOT autistic, no matter how much you WANT me to be so you can go around and gain sympathy for “having an autistic daughter” rather than owning up to the fact that you caused what “went wrong” with me.
Not only did you not help prevent me from being molested by my cousin, you also added to my sexual trauma by forcing me to use the giant egg monistat insert to treat a yeast infection when I was 11. I was ELEVEN and you had a bright idea to force a HUGE foreign object into my prepubescent body even though you were fully aware I could have easily gotten a prescription for a pill to swallow from a doctor. I was scared. I had so much pain and itching and needed a mother to hug me, tell me it’s going to be okay, or at the very least, EXPLAIN what I had and how we were going to fix it. You didn’t do any of that. You told me to lay down and proceeded to try and administer medication that is NOT meant for children 12 and under due to the physical damage it could cause. I was clearly in pain and scared, but you kept trying anyways. At any point, you could have stopped and taken me to the fucking doctor, but nope. You then got frustrated that “you couldn’t get it in” and told your 11 year old daughter to shove it inside herself. Then you left the room. I hadn’t even had a period yet, let alone know where my vagina was but you sure felt the need to yet again abandon your parental responsibilities and place them onto your kid! Miraculously, I put it in and wobbled out to lay on the couch because I was in physical pain from BOTH the infection and YOU, but because a child’s body isn’t able to properly fully insert the medication used (which once again I’ll remind you is meant for girls 13 and up), it came out and got on the couch because you didn’t give me a pad. And rather than prioritize your own daughter’s health, safety, wellbeing, and comfort, you were more upset about the stain on the couch and yelled at me. I will never forget in all of the years that I am alive how ashamed and disgusted I felt standing behind you watching you furiously scrub at the stain that I caused (actually, that YOU caused since this never should have happened in the first place!) and feeling a huge flood of guilt every time I saw that couch stain. One of the best days of my life was when we got a new couch and I never had to see that stain again.
All of this caused me to develop anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and ideation, self harming behaviors, having out of body experiences where I dissociate, and panic attacks amongst other things. YOU caused ALL of this and you fought tooth and nail to convince me that it was MY fault for being broken. “There’s something going on with you,” and you made it your mission to never take any responsibility for any of the trauma that you caused. Not only did you ignore all signs of abuse and sexually assault me yourself, you bullied and helped a family friend Sharon bully me when I was “being mean” to (her daughter) Faith. I was treated like I was a mentally ill monster who couldn’t be trusted and always got in trouble whenever Faith shed a single tear because I was “mean to her”. Faith cried at LEAST 15x a day, and I was blamed every time she decided to say I was the reason. You allowed a monster (Sharon) to ABUSE me and had the incredibly wise idea to start passing along what shit talking you two would say about me TO ME, a 13 year old girl. I was THIRTEEN. I was A CHILD. And yet, you came crying and complaining to me about how tired you were of hearing Sharon say I was being mean to her daughter when you could have TOLD THE OTHER ADULT IN THE SITUATION TO STOP. It never was my responsibility as a child to try and make another adult stop abusing me by “behaving better.” There was nothing wrong with how I was behaving. You never once tried to help me, you always blamed anybody and everybody else for your failures. I would come and ask you for help when I was struggling and if you didn’t care, you would pawn it off to somebody else- “go talk to your older sister” “talk to your therapist about that” “I don’t know what to say except to tell you to pray about it” and when I came back saying praying didn’t magically fix my depression, you told me to pray harder. I guess you really thought it was a skill issue rather than a diagnosable health condition! No wonder I wanted to die! Hahaha! I’ll never forget the look of disgust on your face when I was sobbing hysterically and struggling to get out the words when I told you just how badly I was affected by Sharon and said how you played a role in helping her harm and abuse me. “WELL. I’m SORRY if you think I didn’t protect you enough. I know what that feels like because my parent’s took my sister’s side a few weeks ago when we were having an argument” (as FULLY GROWN 50+ YEAR OLDS arguing and bitching LIKE CHILDREN!) No, mom, it’s not the same. I was a child and not only did you not stop an abuser from harming me, you joined in. You allowed her access to me and you passed along what horrible things she said was wrong with me. “SHARON said she thinks YOU’RE BIPOLAR. Do you think you are?” “Sharon told me that you’re having AN EPISODE and are being mean to Faith! Show me your phone!” “Well, I just don’t understand why you keep bringing this up when it happened so long ago. I just hope you can forgive her and move on.” You’re fucking disgusting. Should I go into detail about how many times I asked you to not interact with Sharon more than you needed to and you proceeded to try and force her into my life more? You KNEW how uncomfortable I was with you attending Faith’s wedding and yet, you cared more about how you looked and not only attended, but hosted both her wedding and wedding showers. I have always wondered why you never cared how I feel until I realized that you prioritize yourself and how you look to other people above anything and everyone. There is a clear pattern of behavior-

• When I was 17 and you were painting my fingernails and berating me for wanting to visit my friend up in Boston to see a concert together because “you just didn’t understand why I’d want to do that” and I started crying. You rolled your eyes and said “you better leave now if you don’t want my next client to see you crying because her appointment is in a few minutes.” You cared more about having your random client seeing me cry and potentially thinking you’re a bad mom than comforting me.
• When I was 13 and we were saying our nightly prayer the night that I had my “therapy appointment” (aka, you and my “therapist” chastising me for writing in my diary that I was having suicidal thoughts), when you were praying you said “Dear God, please help (my name)… and… pLEASE HELP ME!!!!” Clearly, YOU were affected more than I was even though I was the one wanting to die because of you. Wow. Your life is so hard!
• Telling everyone around you that I “have problems” and am “really struggling” so you can gain an ounce of sympathy. The way that your friends come up and talk to me is baffling. They treat me like I just got home from the psychiatric hospital.
• Laughing about me with my friends in high school when I was out of the room- “hahaha my daughter is sooooo weird hahaha”
• When I was 18 and you called my “therapist” (who did NOT get my consent before doing this and violated her ethical guidelines) after I moved out and stopped talking to you, you got her to help you write a list of “rules” to force me to stay in contact with you. They consisted of requiring me to “talk to you, dad, or my sister at least 1x/day” so you “knew that I was safe” aka, you wanted to control me even though I was an adult and not living in your house. I was perfectly safe, and yet you made me sound like I was doing drug deals in the morning, prostituting myself after lunch, and had plans to commit felonies later that night. I went to school, ate, and went back to my apartment. You had no right manipulating me into talking to you by using my therapist, dad, and sister against me. Pathetic.
• Telling me to go do my runs on a strange man’s property instead of the road because it’s “safer.” Dad said that this man who I’VE NEVER MET told him that “there are bad people out there who will kidnap her and do horrible things to her, SO INSTEAD she should run on MY property!” Not sketchy or rapey at all, right? And completely dismissing me when I said that made me uncomfortable by saying “my dad knows him”? Lady, do you know any rape statistics? Clearly not, because you’d then know that only 7% of assaults are strangers while 93% are family members or acquaintances. NINETY THREE PERCENT. The amount of times that I’ve mentioned someone made me uncomfortable or had a massive affect on me as a child and you’ve replied with “Oh, well did they touch you?” People don’t have to touch me to traumatize me. You’re pathetic for thinking that.

I’m not mad at Chloe. I don’t feel any anger or ill will towards her at all. She was a child just like I was a child. She was failed more than I was failed. No child acts that way and assaults other children without learning that from somewhere. I blame her parents for what happened to her. I blame YOU for what happened to me. I vividly remember things that my aunt would say the same time this was happening about little girls and their bodies and I want to smash my head against the wall. Children are to be protected above anything and everything else, by you didn’t. Do I hate Faith and think that she’s a bad person because of what happened when we were 13? No. I fully blame you and Sharon. The amount of adults that have failed me in my life keep me up at night. I think about how different my life would be had dad been more involved and seen what was going on and taken me away from you. I am angry with him for that. I dream one day I will be able to sit down with him and tell him everything I have written about and he will hug me, support me, cry with me, and apologize for not being there more to protect me. But who knows, he might defend his child abusing, mentally ill wife and say I’m making up everything. Who knows.
Do you want to know what my sister said when I told her all of this? She apologized to me for not being 15 years older than I am so she could have raised me instead. I want you to sit here and think about how fucked up that is. My own sister wishes she could have taken me away from you so you couldn’t have abused me. I imagine the pressure she must have felt having to grow up while also raising her mother and sister and I sob for her. I’ve sobbed for me for the mental anguish and torture I experienced at your hands. I’ve even sobbed for you because I can’t imagine being even a fraction of how fucked up you are to resort to abusing and neglecting your child- a child you begged to have. A child you had trouble having and prayed for. Embarrassing.
I’m never going to have a relationship with you again. If God is willing, I will never have to interact with you ever again. Saying that phrase “if God is willing” is ironic because you forcing me to pray my problems away rather than helping me led me to not believe in him. How can I believe in something that also neglected me? I’d sit in my dark bedroom night after night praying and sobbing for him to help me. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but I felt broken and alone. I now know that I was a child praying for God to take away my PTSD, and that is not possible. My heart breaks for that child.
You’re a pathetic excuse for a mother and human being. I’m truly shocked that I survived you and your abuse. I’m surprised that I didn’t ever try to kill myself to try and get away from you because you’re a vulture that prays on innocent people. The only important people in your life are people you think will give you something or will make you look good. That’s why you refused to ever cut ties with Sharon, you knew she was sexually abused as a child and you couldn’t POSSIBLY NOT be her friend because you need her to be your “friend,” or rather, your token sexually abused as a child friend. I genuinely hope that you get better and become a normal healthy person but I won’t ever be around to see it. I hope you feel even a fraction of the pain and abandonment that I have felt my entire life. Happy Mother’s Day, but today isn’t Mother’s Day for me, it’s Daughter’s Day. Moving far away from you one month ago has truly saved my life. Instead of trying to survive, I am enjoying my life. I would have died in that house. I get to finally celebrate being away from you and celebrate myself for staying strong and fighting when I could have easily given up. You once told me “you feel like I HATE you!” to guilt me into fawning over you and telling you how much I loved you, but now you get the opposite. I DO hate you and hate how you have permanently changed me and I wish to never see you again. Instead of praying for the “God forsaken, atheist, lost, evil, liar, miserable, spiteful, hateful, disgusting, mentally ill, “autistic” daughter, pray for yourself. Pray for God’s forgiveness for emotionally, medically, physically, sexually, and religiously abusing and neglecting me. You deserve to remain in your "clueless" state of "having NO IDEA what you did wrong to make her stop talking to me!" for the rest of your life.Happy Daughter’s Day.

After trying to create a 3.5 game with West Marches vibes, and failing, I picked up the DCC core rulebook and a half pound bag of dice. That was a year ago.
Finally got everyone together. And by everyone, I mean 3 out of the six who had committed to joining. We power on.
I had the map blown up onto an architectural print and didn't bother hiding anything. I might make that effort in the future, but I was just rolling with low effort.
The first death was when a character tried to knock down the entrance. (Sidenote; this is my partners character and I just finished the second Pern book on her recommendation before leaving to meet the session and I really expected her to figure it out).
A second character rolled an 18 on a lockpick, and I'm pretty sure I ruled incorrectly, but I didn't have faith in them waiting two hours and faith in myself to make it rewarding.
Two more died to the statues. They tried to marionette the corpse of their fallen comrade, so I had them make a personality roll as a bluff. Would've let them get away with a DC 10, but they rolled a 2 with a +0 modifier. The character wasn't used to the dwarf's proportions and leaned too far into the room, then took his last breath pinned to the wall.
The statue had three victims. The party never searched the room because they were too scared. A pair of characters ran into the burial chamber, but left the door open. The rest went towards the scrying chamber.
I skipped initiative rolls here. The statue made its first attack, then we went clockwise. The skeletons got added at the bottom, and Sssisssauraaaag went after the players who opened his door, since their turns were over and he "immediately attacks without hesitation or parley."
The statue fired at the character in the burial chamber still in view, burning him immediately. The other closed the door in time for it to absorb the last fireball, them started fighting the skeletons. One got a bite, but rolled low enough damage. He finished it off and moved on to the pool room.
The other two fought Sssisssauraaaag, combining one character's oil with another's Firestone to ignite it. 1d6 per round until a successful reflex save to get the oil off or put it out; basically same as the statue. Here they did learn about aliens before joining the character in the pool.
Unfortunately, a player had to leave here but we finished it out with the three remaining characters.
The character in the pool put out his torch when the statues began lurching towards him, and I think I gave away their menace but they were still just around. He started removing the gems immediately and the player understood water was draining.
The other characters went downstairs, passed the table without cooking, and found the clay army with water dripping on them. They ran back upstairs and picked the stones until the floor buckled.
One character had a chain, so they tied the lightest character on the end to continue plucking out the diamonds. Well he rolled a 4 strength check, and the chain slipped out of his hand. the dwarf to fall to his death, but the clay army was no more.
They put the crystal ball on the depression of the table and goatfaced man talked to them.
Next, I want to run Sailors on the Starless Sea. We'll have two leveled characters and hopefully two new players who get their four 0-level.

My dad's been a lamdlord/property manager for almost 30 years and I always had to help him with maintenance growing up so I could learn different skills. Seeing how he treats his tenants versus how other landlords treat theirs is ridiculous. I moved out for school on April 1st and my new landlords were the typically really great sounding company online and on paper, then the longer I stay here the more issues I have. A few weeks ago I got a letter in the mail saying my gas would be shut off in 14 days because the bill hasn't been paid in like 6 months. I was immediately frustrated and called the guy I assumed was the property manager because he's the only person from the company that I had ever met. He then asked me to forward my message to the property manager so she could look at it. So after a month and a half living here I finally got the phone number of the manager. She then tells me that they will take care of the problem. Fast forward 2 weeks, I get home from school to find the gas company van outside my house ready to shut off the gas. He explained that the bill still hadn't been paid. So I called the manager and she told me that I actually needed to transfer the gas into my name in order for it to get paid. So rather than telling me this on the day I moved in, they waited until the gas was shut off to tell me. Now for like 4 days I haven't had heat or hot water. The best part is that she told me I'm actually responsible for the gas bill and the water bill as well when it charges quarterly. When I signed the lease and moved in I was told I'm only responsible for my rent and electric while everything else was included. So they lied in the lease and straight to my face about it. Since my dad's a landlord though and he's apparently miles smarter than them, we're gonna probably take the company to court over the million other issues from the apartment including this.

Hey, figured I'd share my tonsillectomy experience because this sub was a great resource for me leading up and after my surgery.
I had surgery on May 2, after quite a bizarre experience with my tonsils. I've had tonsil stones for as long as I can remember, but as everyone here can attest to, ENTs and doctors don't really treat stones. Also, at about the base of my left tonsil, the tissue had hardened a bit, and I suspected that I had a tonsil stone wedged deep that I could feel. After seeing about four ENTs and two oral surgeons, they all gave me the same recommendation: get those suckers yanked out.
I still wasn't convinced so I asked about getting some imaging done (I'm in the US with good private insurance, so relatively easy to schedule, but still decent $$$). I got an MRI and it didn't show anything nefarious, but interestingly enough the tech noted a "lesion" on my right tonsil, the one that felt perfectly fine. Given this new information my ENT suggested a tonsillectomy because it was really the only option I had left and every other doctor suggested the same.
I scheduled my surgery and soon enough the day came. I've had surgeries before (2x ACL, 1x meniscus over a 30 year soccer 'career') so I knew what to expect. I didn't anticipate being in the surgery center with 6 year olds as I was the only adult getting the procedure that day!!
Day 1: They wheeled me back and knocked me out, and when I woke up I remember being surprised that the pain I was in was probably a 9/10. My second ACL surgery was like an 11/10 when I woke up (interestingly enough my first ACL surgery was like 3/10) so I was initially surprised how uncomfortable I was.
They fed me ice pops and gave me ice water and tried talking to me, but before I knew it, I was on my way home. In the US, if you go to a private surgery facility, they generally wheel you out within 10 mins of waking up.
The rest of the day was pretty brutal as swallowing was uncomfortable, but my mouth kept filling with saliva so I essentially had to keep drinking water and swallowing, which wasn't great. Eating was completely out of the question, but I had stocked up on some ready to drink protein drinks that kept me relatively satiated. I kept to a pretty strict medicinal schedule which helped me sleep a bit.
Day 2: Still uncomfortable but the pain was significantly less, maybe a 5-6/10. I took about 5ml every 4-5 hours of liquid oxycodone and caught up on Vanderpump Rules. I kept a large cooler by my bed stocked with ice from Sonic, Alo Water, protein drinks, a million water bottles and ice packs. I had a couple of ice pops, but honestly, I just didn't have any appetite for ice cream or ice pops or the like. Ice cold water and the Alo Water were great.
Day 3-4: Pain was about a 4/10 and getting better. I kept to the same schedule for medicine, trash TV shows, and water + ready to drink protein. My wife made me some pastina pasta with butter and although it took me 45 mins to eat a couple of spoonfuls, it did a lot for my mind. I also ate one scrambled egg, but it took me a while. I also had my bowel movement! This is very important after surgery!! Please take some stool softener!!!
However, on Day 4 right before bed around midnight, I "spit" (aka let drool fall out of my mouth) and noticed blood in my saliva. My doctor just said to call if you see any bright blood in your saliva and I noticed it more and more, but not a lot of volume. Of course I freaked out and called at 1am, but my understanding is that a little blood is ok and should resolve itself with ice water and ice gargling. It's really only if your mouth is filling with blood rapidly that you should head to the hospital.
Day 5: I woke up out of a decent sleep at 4am not in pain, but seriously uncomfortable, like my throat and mouth were incredibly sore. The painkillers really helped and I felt like I had taken a step back in the recovery. I could start to talk a little bit more, but nothing more than a couple of whispered sentences at a time.
Day 6: Still sore, but I remember feeling like I turned a corner finally.
Day 7: Back to work! I work hybrid so I was home to recover and didn't have any problems concentrating or typing or anything. I had only been taking the painkillers maybe once a day, usually at night.
I'm a little over 2 weeks now and I feel as though I'm completely back to eating normally and speaking normally, though I can't talk too loud or for too long. After living with tonsil stones for so long, my mouth feels a lot cleaner if that makes sense.
No regrets on the surgery. Looking back, spending time in front of a mirror pushing calcified food particles out of crevices in your mouth is a wild way to spend your time. The recovery was tough I'm not gonna lie, but it is relatively short.
I found myself just like drooling saliva out of my mouth over a sink because I didn't want to swallow anymore. Ice cold water makes swallowing way more tolerable so try to always have ice cold water on hand at all times. I drink water like a psychopath so I was super hydrated, to the point where I was peeing every 45 mins the first two days. I couldn't imagine being dehydrated and trying to recover.
If I could do it over again, I would brew more tea with plenty of honey and let it cool down and then drink it cold. Honey is basically a wonder drug but I didn't utilize it enough in the beginning.
I found and downloaded a text to speech app, which was pretty handy. My kids loved it.
Here are some essentials that other people have mentioned here but I'll list them below. Good luck!!
Pillow Wedge for elevated sleep - I actually still use this as I enjoy sleeping a bit elevated now
Alo Water with Honey - I didn't realize there are clear pieces of aloe vera "pulp" in the drink, which was a super weird experience. I wound up straining the pulp out. Also, try to cut this with water, there's an insane amount of sugar in the huge bottles and you don't want any unnecessary discomfort while you're trying to recover.
Warm and Cool Mist Humidifier - I already owned this and I had it running basically 24/7. I still woke up with a dry mouth which is kind of miserable, but I think it would've been worse if I didn't have this.
Fairlife Core Power Protein Drinks - 26 or 42 grams of protein is amazing when you're recovering. They are a bit expensive, so I picked up a case of the Fairlife Nutrition Plan from my local Costco.
Sonic Pebble Ice - Pebble ice is so much better than regular ice from a freezer or if you're freezing a tray. I don't know why. It's so much easier to chew and it's so much more satisfying to put in your water, especially recovering from a tonsillectomy. If you don't leave near a Sonic, try to find pebble ice somewhere!
Miralax, 7 Once Daily Doses - You NEED a stool softener. The opioids will back you up. The worst part of my ACL recovery was that first bowel movement. I didn't stay on top of my stool softener game. You gotta get that first BM out of the way ideally within like 2-3 days.
RTIC 52 QT Cooler - It's not necessary to have a $200 cooler next to your bed, but if you already have a nice one like a Yeti or RTIC, I'd definitely recommend keeping it near where you are recovering.
Tongue Scraper - I didn't brush my teeth for like 3 days and I felt awful about it. I'd recommend at least a tongue scraper to keep up on the hygiene.
Ice Pack Head Wrap - I thought I would use this more, but it came in handy on days 5-6. I didn't need it, but I'm glad it was around.

Have read a couple of things about having an electric hot water system. We are a 2 person household that has a Rinnai 96L 2.4kw system. Also have newly installed solar panels.
We are in WA - running a straight A1 tariff (30.8c/kwh anytime)

1. Is it beneficial to get a timer so it does its heating during solar periods? Is that even possible?
2. Should we replace the anode in this system? Haven't had it done since we moved in 2017. System looks like it was installed in 2016 before we moved in.

So I tested positive for chlamydia few months ago. I did my treatments and got reswabbed and have my clean test back. But the thing is; I ran my bases and contacted the people who I possibly could’ve gave it to. The person who did give it to me tested positive two weeks before I did. He did not disclose he had a positive test when knowing and did not inform me to get tested. (I did on my own accord) So he didn’t know during the time we slept together but he knew multiple weeks before I did and didn’t inform me or anyone that it would’ve been possible for him to transmit it. In the long run I would’nt have gotten tested if it wasn’t for my own peice of mind.. I often wonder if there’s more gals out there who haven’t gotten tested or even think. Knowing I was asymptomatic during my time having it.
Any thoughts of reporting and laws? All I can find on canadas website is about HIV.