Just unlocked the Zariman and I am struggling with missions here.
Enemy density is through the roof. Normally with my preferred Saryn I'd be delighted by that, and I can keep spores going for quite a while before it starts burning itself out, but these L50-70 enemies are hitting way harder than I'm used to. Slash DoTs and exilus knockdown are especially deadly for me.
It's not like it's my first time against mid-level enemies though; I can handle L80-90 sortie missions and L70 open-world bounties with this build just fine. But here I can barely handle 60s. Maybe it's the corridors making it harder to get a good position?
Plus, every mission has so many different things I need to be juggling at once - even without bounties. And if I want to get any Voidplumes to rank up the Holdfast (starting with Down) I need to not only be able to do the missions, but survive while searching for pickups. These missions auto-extract too so I can't just complete the mission solo and then look for pickups before extracting.
Mod layout:

• Saryn prime - I do struggle with energy from the low efficiency sometimes if I get too defensive. Arcanes here are just whatever I managed to find, which isn't much.
• Corinth prime - Personally this is just my favorite weapon, and it's the strongest (or rather, most invested) I have. Riven is +CritD, +slash, not a great roll, but after 42 rerolls I have yet anything better. Forma-ing a second naramon slot when I first got this was probably a mistake, but too late now without sinking another forma. I'm noticing the reload is real rough when Zariman is not giving me any room to breathe.

I've spent some time talking how to use Saryn in higher levels, and my rotation generally intends to be Venom Dose > Toxic Lash > Spores an enemy > start blasting to spread it. I mess it up all the time though because skill issue. I also usually have to click 4-5 times with Spores to actually hit the target, again skill issue.
Any advice on how I can better handle this? I've messed around with these builds plenty and haven't been able to do much better than this. Other advice is appreciated too.
And, before you suggest:

• Incarnons, Weapon Arcanes - I have to make progress here to unlock these. Chicken and egg issue.
• Adaptation, Rolling Guard - I have to unlock all the star chart nodes to access Arbitrations. Might be able to get by by the skin of my teeth or bring a tank frame like Valkyr but then I won't be contributing much of anything. And if I can't handle this how can I expect to handle the WitW nodes?
• Growing Power, Condition Overload, Critical Deceleration - very rare drops/rewards, RNG has not been my friend.

EDIT: Okay the exterminate mission is 10x easier than the others.

I have tried Trazodone, Seroquel (quetiapine) prn and Lunesta prn for insomnia. I currently take trazodone nightly and it works great when I don’t work. However, my insomnia is typically anxiety induced t work. Seroquel works phenomenal but I feel hungover in the morning even when I break the lowest dose in half because it lasts so long. We use Haldol (haloperidol) intramuscular at work as needed for patients, per doctor’s order, if they are being aggressive and it sedates them. I was wondering if anyone has tried Haldol orally for sleep? If so did it work? I would only be using it as needed but I would rather stay away from Z drugs. Thank you sm!

F40, 5'10", SW 301.4 lbs, CW 290.8 lbs - week 1 weight loss 10.4 lbs
First, I'm aware that the amount of weight I've lost is largely water weight - I was puffy and inflamed before starting thanks to the huge amount of pure shite I was eating. I've always eaten a lot of vegetables and healthy foods, but I'd top them up with SO MUCH sugar and high-fat stuff, which basically negated the good stuff. I'm expecting this to slow down considerably — this won't discourage me!
I'll note that I lost more than 100 pounds a few years back doing keto. Inevitably, I gained it all back (well, NEARLY all) in the past 4 years — it simply wasn't sustainable, and I'm not someone who can do "moderation" — once I start on sugar, I can't be stopped, lol. I wanted to try Mounjaro as the food noise was something that really did bother me and that I couldn't overcome. I kept trying to start again with pure CICO, macro counting, etc, but I could never quite find the "willpower," and I eventually had to admit that this was bigger than me. I'm glad I did.
I stocked up on every gastrointestinal helper I could prior to starting - fibre gummies, Imodium, Pepto chewables, ginger tea, yada yada. All the horror stories I'd read had me SCARED, but I had no side effects, which I think is the most common experience but that we don't hear about since those of us who AREN'T suffering aren't likely to post about it ;) I did have a bit of an achy arm on night 1 (which is odd since I injected in my stomach), but other than that, it's been good.
Appetite suppression has been there, strongest on the first few days. I would notice that I WOULD eventually get very hungry, but that I would get fuller much more quickly and was able to recognise that and stop when I'd had enough. Later in the week, the hunger has been more frequent, but the thing that hasn't changed is that "willpower" (which I put in quotes since I think it's a bit of a BS phrase since weight loss is NOT that simple) I had not to go nuts and binge again.
I will say that it has still taken a concerted effort the past 2 days as I've been getting closer to dose 2, or at least just a bit of awareness, not to overeat. I would have to tell myself, "No, that's a portion, that's enough." However, before I wouldn't have been able to listen to that - I would have kept on going until I was full to the brim. Now, it's much easier to be like, "Yep, that's fair enough." I am still weighing and tracking my food for my own personal knowledge.
I know the appetite suppression and other effects increase with dosage, so I don't necessarily think week 1 will be reflective of my entire time on Mounjaro, but I'm pretty pleased!

I am in hopes that this message or another form of reasoning with similar intent may reach the eyes or ears of those controlling the ban lists for Magic the Gathering. These are moves I'm hoping may be made to keep the more casual/social format of MTG as close to honest as we can, as we shouldn't have to continue to bear bad apples spoiling the bunch for every player out there, both new, and also the old whom want to enjoy new styles of play without having to worry about decks which purpose is to tutor out combo pieces or accidentally bump into one of numerous combos within the deck in a few short turns.
I personally believe that in a format such as commander, we shouldn't have to worry about the game in some instances CONSISTENTLY ending prematurely, especially by players whom had not done a singular point of life to any player, milled a player of a single card, or anything threatening aside from maybe playing lockdown/wipe cards. Players like this bring a negative value to the format... not zero value, a negative value, because they push people away and barricade new people from having or keeping interest in the game when they become witness to the cancer that is slowly killing commander over time as more and more potential combo/draw/tutor pieces are introduced.
I will list a few of the cards that I think are good examples of easy bans to add to such a ban list for commander, and the nature of the cards listed should be implied. Often, these cards from experience, if not in every case, are only ever played in specific manners within decks with purpose to aim at performing an infinite combo. Not everything in magic should be an infinite combo, especially when they would only require a single piece if not two pieces (Etali as Commander with Food Chain in deck is an example of a "single piece", as the only piece you need to draw to have the potential infinite ready is Food Chain alone):

• Demonic Consultation
• Thassa's Oracle
• Food Chain
• Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker
• Mindcrank
• Curiosity

There are also certain lines of text that I think should be prevented within commander as well to help with this case, such as one of the halves to the side of the drain combo where a player could potentially play cards that state they "gain life when opponents lose life", but also have a card that says opponents lose life when you gain life", which creates a loop on trigger that can win the game without doing anything other than seeing a single point of damage happen anywhere from that point and forward, which is also anti-climactic to see in such decks with colors that make it easiest to acquire combo pieces.
Another line of text that I believe should be considered personally, which I assume some players may have issue with because "How dare I speak against how others like to play" is "You take an extra turn" cards. These cards have been ridiculous in my eyes from the beginning of my time in playing MTG, and every player I've ever played against whom utilizes ANY card that specifies that they take extra turns, always has a way to abuse it in short time to acquire up to as many turns as they need to win the game, even if they need 5 extra turns to finally come to a point where they can be in a position to eliminate a player from a state of having nothing left on their board, which I have witnessed happen to me before. Opponent had no wipe spell for all of my creatures, but instead played the extra turn spell, ended turn, drew a card, played another land drop, recurred the extra turn from grave to hand to play it again, end turn, drew another card, played another land drop, copied the card from grave and exiled, bounced a card of mine + drew another card, swung w flier, end turn, drew card, played ANOTHER take an extra turn card, and copied it as well with a tap ability... etc etc etc.
"Take an extra turn" cards have a ridiculous amount of value to them, which are overwhelmingly underpriced mana cost wise as well, and clearly so that I do not have to state "in my own opinion". If speaking relatively to other cards, this is simply factual. One of red's specialties is granting the user an extra combat phase, which blue gets in the extra turn. One of green's specialties is granting the user extra land plays, which blue gets inside of the same extra turn. One of blue's specialties is its draw power, which it is getting within the same extra turn replacing the card they'd just played for both a land and combat, as well as a chance to spend all of the accumulated mana again. Blue has also now been playing even faster than red decks, at least in EDH standards. When blue's counterspells cost 0 or 1 in many cases (or even negative payments/refunds where they're refunded for more than they paid for countering spell of X mana cost...) while they're playing Remora or Rhystics to draw even more counterspells, red doesn't have much on them. Even if blue allows the first dose of red to slip, well oops, Cyclonic Rift "accidentally" slipped from his overwhelming hand-size while the blue player was still seen as "not quite a bit enough threat" simply because they have no thwackers on the field. Blue player is completely open and okay with watching players beat down other players when minor openings present themselves as temporary opportunities, yet upon giving the blue player the slightest glance, GAME RESET!~~~ Which brings me to my last point, but outside of the realm of what taking an extra turn might do, and more regarding the final specialties.
White and black both have a pretty high specialty in specifically removal type abilities, whether it be for creatures which black is more prevalent in, or for permanents including non-creatures, which white is more prevalent in than black, yet blue simply outdoes any spell of either of these colors' value within any cards that exist in the game within said colors due to the card called Cyclonic Rift existing. Remove all threats EXCEPT their own at INSTANT speed. I think if blue is going to have something like this, then black and white should have AT LEAST the equivalent, although I'd hate to see it. I just wanted to make the quick point here pointing out the failure to balance mana values of blue. (There is a reason of there being a consensus among other players that "Island" is the strongest of the lands. You don't ever hear that comment about other lands. And I would like to state here that my theory is that since blue is so prevalent thanks to certain players whom would rather win a game than enjoy playing a game, WotC is afraid of becoming bombarded by the toxicity of hyper-competitive sore losers with no creativeness to create an interactive enough commander deck that doesn't involve stalling, seeking, then performing infinite combos without ever ever ever seeing a day of themselves actually achieving victory by any other means other than by performing their infinite loops or recurring new turns.)
Anyways, that's my rant for now. I am not posting this lengthy of a rant with the assumption that it might reach no ears. This isn't just me being angry with the current state of MTG's alternative format that was meant to produce more joy for those that want to experience something greatly different compered to modern, standard, and other available formats. I am posting this because I believe the requests to be reasonable, and do know that there are many others that feel the same way as I do. The "toxic sore losers" that I was referring to before can whine all they want about this post for me criticizing what is likely a number of their favorite cards, but I say to the ones whom this post may have offended, you can have the other formats, do your bs over there, and keep your sticky fingers out of paid commander pods where we are trying to enjoy ourselves. We have paid casual commander pods, sometimes paid precon pods, and we have paid proxy/cedh pods, BUT we have people bring the infinite combo cancer into casual pods simply because "the commander is unique", even though they don't play the commander a single time in most instances. Yes, we lose money to this crap. I limit myself to one PAID pod a week, and I GLADLY stay back if there is someone who would rather play casual who can't pay for they day to play with them, because playing in the paid pod with the sore losers just feels like getting mugged with also the expense of your time while also being locked in place to watch and make sure your cards aren't stolen too along with your time and money to enter the pod.
Wizard of the Coast, I do hope you receive this message in some form or another. This cancer needs to be stopped if we're going to be spreading this game wider, and not instead shrinking it down because of stingy ban lists.

I supposedly have MCAS, but is it mastocytosis? Also PSA for people in Portland, Oregon at bottom. A couple months ago I started allergy shots at a local clinic. They hit me extremely hard, like I had a severe flu and all I could do was lay in bed. The doctor upped my ketotifen and Cromolyn to the max and I discovered that Benedryl Extra Strength is ridiculously effective and I started being able to function again, even though I still felt bad. I made it through the lowest tier of doses and then they started injecting me with the next strongest tier and things got really bad. I started having anaphylactic shock responses to basically everything (never had anaphylaxis before that I know of) and sometimes to nothing at all - heart rate going up to 150, almost passing out, extreme vertigo, profound sense of doom, nausea, difficulty breathing, etc. So I stopped the shots about a month ago but the symptoms just kept coming. I started having seizures whenever I eat anything that isn’t rice cakes with almond butter and cheese, and even that I can only eat so much. So that’s basically all I’ve eaten for weeks now, and all I can do is lay in bed to conserve energy so I don’t have to eat much. The only thing that’s made a difference is a different doctor put me on Prednisone, and that’s the only reason I can even eat the rice cakes. And the allergy doc gave me an inhaler which helps with breathing, but makes my heart beat faster too. My blood tests are coming up with low neutrophils, and a low C Compliment, and I have persistently disregulated blood sugar and anemia. I also had a DEXA scan that showed Osteopenia. I also always test positive for lupus on general screenings but negative for it on lupus testing (which the allergy doc ignored when I told her and is just convinced that I have lupus now). Does any of this sound familiar to those of you with Mastocytosis? Have any of you heard of the KIT D816V blood test and know whether it’s worth doing instead of a bone marrow biopsy? Have any of you had bad reactions to allergy shots like this? Was your health permanently worsened? Did anything help? What type of doctors were able to do anything about it? Has anyone had any side effects like this (paradoxical reactions) to Cromolyn or Ketotifen? Does anyone here have any weird mystery immune issues like this lupus thing I’m talking about? Anyone here have seizures in relationship to histamine/food? What helps? I’d also appreciate any suggestions for the lowest histamine foods that have worked for you, because I’m really trying to find other foods that can work out for me. So far it seems like carrots, and weirdly cheese and nuts, and then rice cakes are all I’ve got. Thanks for reading and for the help, I really, REALLY appreciate it.

PSA Time: if any of you are in Portland, Oregon I highly warn you against the Know Allergy Clinic. I genuinely feel they’ve recklessly put my life in danger in so many ways and times, while also treating me with contempt as though I’m making all this up and wasting their much more valuable time. Like at my last doc appointment, when I said “this can’t be normal” the doc said this “happens all the time”, and to see her again in September, while also not being able to tell me why this is happening or what to do about it, or how not to die of starvation or anaphylaxis in the next few months. I don’t even know if I can use an Epipen because they increase your heart rate (which I only found out through Google, not even the allergy clinic) and mine is already so freakishly fast (possibly hypertensive anaphylaxis though), and she wouldn’t help me with that either, despite the fact that they have mini Epipens there that could be safer for me to try in an emergency. And when I said all I could eat is rice cakes to the nurse who asked why I looked ill, she was like “Well, that’s what I like to eat at breakfast and lunch”. 

I’m in extreme need of help. Also PSA for people in Portland, Oregon at bottom. A couple months ago I started allergy shots at a local clinic. They hit me extremely hard, like I had a severe flu and all I could do was lay in bed. The doctor upped my ketotifen and Cromolyn to the max and I discovered that Benedryl Extra Strength is ridiculously effective and I started being able to function again, even though I still felt bad. I made it through the lowest tier of doses and then they started injecting me with the next strongest tier and things got really bad. I started having anaphylactic shock responses to basically everything and sometimes nothing at all - heart rate going up to 150, almost passing out, extreme vertigo, profound sense of doom, nausea, difficulty breathing, etc. So I stopped the shots about a month ago but the symptoms just kept coming. I started having seizures whenever I eat anything that isn’t rice cakes with almond butter and cheese, and even that I can only eat so much. So that’s basically all I’ve eaten for weeks now, and all I can do is lay in bed to conserve energy so I don’t have to eat much. The only thing that’s made a difference is a different doctor put me on Prednisone, and that’s the only reason I can even eat the rice cakes. And the allergy doc gave me an inhaler which helps with breathing, but makes my heart beat faster too. My blood tests are coming up with low neutrophils, and a low C Compliment, and I have persistently disregulated blood sugar and anemia. I also always test positive for lupus on general screenings but negative for it on lupus testing (which the allergy doc ignored when I told her and is just convinced that I have lupus now). Have any of you had bad reactions to allergy shots like this? Was your health/MCAS permanently worsened? Did anything help? What type of doctors were able to do anything about it? Has anyone had any side effects like this (paradoxical reactions) to Cromolyn or Ketotifen? Does anyone here have any weird mystery immune issues like this lupus thing I’m talking about? Anyone here have seizures in relationship to histamine/food? What helps? I’d also appreciate any suggestions for the lowest histamine foods that have worked for you, because I’m really trying to find other foods that can work out for me. So far it seems like carrots, and weirdly cheese and nuts, and then rice cakes are all I’ve got. Thanks for reading and for the help, I really, REALLY appreciate it.

PSA Time: if any of you are in Portland, Oregon I highly warn you against the Know Allergy Clinic. I genuinely feel they’ve recklessly put my life in danger in so many ways and times, while also treating me with contempt as though I’m making all this up and wasting their much more valuable time. Like at my last doc appointment, when I said “this can’t be normal” the doc said this “happens all the time”, and to see her again in September, while also not being able to tell me why this is happening or what to do about it, or how not to die of starvation or anaphylaxis in the next few months. I don’t even know if I can use an Epipen because they increase your heart rate (which I only found out through Google, not even the allergy clinic) and mine is already so freakishly fast (possibly hypertensive anaphylaxis though), and she wouldn’t help me with that either, despite the fact that they have mini Epipens there that could be safer for me to try in an emergency. And when I said all I could eat is rice cakes to the nurse who asked why I looked ill, she was like “Well, that’s what I like to eat at breakfast and lunch”. 

Dizziness started in mid November 2021, went to Canberra on the 10th of December and I had my first near faint experience followed by high heart beat and palpitation.
Dizziness and lightheaded was followed till the 28th of December when I nearly fainted again and had really high heart rate: went to hospital. They did blood work and ecg couldn’t find a probable cause. Went to hospital again 3 days later and no findings were evident. Upon my 3rd visit to hospital X-ray was done off my chest and nothing was found. I was bedridden for 6 weeks, everyday was a battle for life, I felt like I was in septic shock everyday. I had to get iv fluids about 10 times because of dehydration, I sweated constantly with no appetite for water or food.
Symptoms
Lightheaded Dizziness Heart gets tired quickly Sometimes my arms and hands become a little numb. My head feels tension. heat in my abdomen, back and my ears get hot. Feels like a pulsating feeling through my body during a bad episode Sometimes left shoulder feels warm My eyes sometimes drop tears randomly Unable to concentrate at times Shortness of breath during episode There’s always a tense feeling in my chest and around my heart area. Sometimes hits my lower abdomen and I feel nausea makes my stomach make noises. I have difficulty sleeping my head spins more when I close my eyes. I wake up between 1-3am with a weird feeling as if I’m scared or something. Vision sometimes becomes blurry. Fatigue and tiredness. Little sudden Noises scare me. Whenever I have a episode that peaks, my hands and feet get sweaty and I feel heat. My hands and feet sometimes get cold. The feeling in my mid left chest area I can’t explain but it’s as if my muscles are vibrating. When I stand up it’s seems my head and chest symptoms get worse for about a minute and then settle down. Same thing happens when I lay down. It gets worse for a minute till it goes back to how it was. Sometimes I can feel it hitting my front part of my head and my sinus feels tense as well. As well as my ears feel the pressure. Lying down seems to reduce some tension in my head. I feel bad 80% of the day really bad 15% of the day and alright 5% of the day.
Let’s go back to my childhood, my earliest memory is probably when I was around 10. If I would focus on my breathing it felt like I couldn’t breath anymore. I also had these unexplained spinning and dizziness at a young age during sleep time. Doctors couldn’t find anything. I was always a scared kid thinking about the worse case scenario that might kill me but in reality it was overthinking. In highschool a few times I nearly fainted out of the blue. Sometimes during sports I’ll hit a point where out of no where my heart would start racing and my breathing would become laboured. Sometimes over excitement caused this as well.
Now medications
Lexapro 40mg for 6 months, no benefits. Made me really bad during the first 2 weeks and kinda of settled after that, dumbed the depressive symptoms but that’s about it. Felt much better after coming off, it definitely made my condition worse. Derealisation, fatigue, tiredness, forgetfulness. All of it.
Zoloft 50mg for 18 days and 100mg for 3 days, had a panic attack on day 3 I thought it was Zoloft but found it to be thc later on. Discontinued Zoloft then. No benefits during the 18 days on 50mg and made my condition way worse.
Paxil 20mg for 2 months, probably one of the strongest reactions to any ssri, daily panic attacks losing my mind, as if there’s a laughter in my head but it’s my internal monologue creating it but still I was losing it. Pushed on for 2 months and it just made me worse as the days went on.
Agomelatine 20mg no benefits, daily panic attacks, took it for about 36 days.
Pristiq, I’m on day 54 and I’ve stopped taking it, my last dose was on Wednesday not sure how to stop. It’s making me worse, mood is swinging, brain fog and all other symptoms are reappearing on this medication.
Clonidine didn’t do much except relax my body alittle
Lyrica, knocked me out at 25mg and made me tired. No benefits.
Valium 5mg, very small relief, short benefits 3-5 hours, more of a muscle relaxant, addictive in nature.
Clonezapam 1mg, small amount of relief, short relief 3-5 hours.
Xanax 2mg, haven’t tried
Ativan 1mg only have tried 0.5mg and it didn’t do much.
Seroquel 25mg, good for sleep, couldn’t sleep for more then 4 hours for the last 5 years or so, now I get a solid 8 hours, it’s not a 100% good quality sleep but it gets the job done, I don’t feel tired through the day as before I got sick.
Epilim haven’t tried chickenend out
Lamictal discontinued on day 3 after developing rash
Lithium 500mg, 37 days. Left like losing my mind not sure if adverse reaction to the lithium or it was some kind of discontinuation I was getting from the lexapro.
Prozac 4 days to bridge off lexapro
Thc/cbd oil, made me go full panic mode for 4 hours each time I tried it. Very similar to what I was feeling with the Paxil minus the laughter side effect.
Symptoms
Dizziness Burning tongue Headache Nausea Metallic taste in mouth Hot flushes Muscle pain and tension Fatigue Numbness in hands Pins and needles Brain fog Startled easily Blood pressure problems Heart feeling heavy Fast heart beat Feel like I’m dying Losing my mind Losing control Very negative thoughts Intrusive thoughts Hyper reactive Blurry vision Cold palms and feet Sweaty palms and feet Hot flushes Feeling sick / flu like Weak limbs Digestion problems Numbness Nightmares
Currently my biggest challenges are
I think I’m developing schizophrenia all the time, and I’m going to lose my mind.
I’m hyper vigilant and see things in the corners of my eye.
My physical symptoms cycle throughout the weeks and I’m never symptomsless. Physical or cognitive I always feel something.
My mind always feels like as if something is off,
As my overall condition gets worse my brain fogs becomes really bad and my hands and feet become so cold to the touch,
I become very forgetful
I can never stop thinking about my condition, my mind is occupied by it 24/7
When I go into crowded areas my physical symptoms become much worse, such as brain fog heart rate and jelly legs.
My internal monologue never shuts up and it’s always active.
Racing thoughts
When I’m on medications l as ssri’s I get irrational fears such as being allergic to nuts or something crazy. But seems to go away after a month when discontinuing the medication,
Lightheaded, feel like my neck muscles are so tense that my brain isn’t getting enough blood.
I’m hyper focused on all bodily functions physical or Cognitive, if I suspect something that is schizophrenic or damaging I get a mini panic attack. But panic attack do occur for no reason as well most of the times.
I’m in this state constantly let’s say chronically,
When my condition worsens and it’s at full flip, no amount of logic can override my thought process, I just believe I’m dying because the physical sensations are just toooo strong that I want to jump out of my skin. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s a weird feeling. Agitated state, dizzy, wobbly, can’t focus etc.
Something else is weird sometime when I’m having a super bad panic attack, such as my heart racing at 180bpm, my cognitive focus will be on my heart and my condition will disappear? I’ll actually feel normalised, mentally and physically. Something happed with the thc, my nausea and cognitive and physical symptoms had been relived but then panic set in. It’s like it suppressed the anxiety symptoms but aggravated the panic if that is possible. Sometimes if I truely focus on something, a lot of it all goes away for a few milliseconds. Kind of same feeling after a massive panic attack, when the panic subsides before it’s next hit I’ll feel my condition/anxiety problems actually settle to better then base levels before priming back up.
Mental illness problems are prevalent in my family,
I’ve done all the physical body checkups before the anxiety diagnosis. Everything check out well physically.

Apigenin is a flavonoid / flavone that acts on the benzodiazapine receptors and the GABA receptors as an agonist, though the specifics aren't fully known. Its also supposedly acts on the NDMA receptors as an antagonist, though likely not as much as the gabaergic activity. It has a potency close to gabapentin, with 700-1g apigenin being close to 800-1g gabapentin.

The high and side effects of apigenin...

Common: sedation, light muscle spasms (similar to when on psychedelics), dizziness, warmth and fuzziness, nausea, double vision, relaxation, reduced anxiety, light respiratory depression, inability to focus eyes, blurred vision, visual disturbances (seeing things out of the corner of your vision and increased hppd)
Uncommon &/or rare: Mild hallucinations (such as objects moving or shifting), heavy respiratory depression (common with alcohol, gabapentin and other gabaergics), irritability, headaches

Apigenin is a fairly safe and light drug, and so far seems to have little to no wds unlike other gabaergics. It's a safe and effective alternative to gabapentin, though the doses needed are almost equal. If you dont get much from apigenin, you can get a lot by comboing just a tiny bit of alcohol, gabapentin, or weed, but be careful because of the strong respiratory depression.

Doses (pure apigenin)...: Light - 50-300mg Medium - 300-600mg Strong - 600-800mg Very strong - 800-1g+ Unknown potency (heroic dose)...- 1.5g-2g+
-_________________- What are sources for apigenin? ...: Chamomile (low amounts, 10-50 tea bags needed), damiana (used as a tea or smoking, I've only tried smoking it but damiana is a good weed substitute, smokes better than chamomile) Parsley supposedly contains 45mg apigenin per gram of the herb, but there's other psychoactive components within parsley as well.
You can get pure apigenin, which is what I use and works the strongest, for fairly cheap online. I got it for 10-17$ and it's lasting me a decent while for the high it provides.

TLDR; apparently my bad physical and mental health synergy lead to me to a life of absolute despair, I have tried EVERYTHING for years to leave opiates but it seems lmpossible.
My name is Mac. This is originally a letter I sent to my confident so there might be some missing context, feel free to ask.
Tramadol is THE mexican opiate and works the same way, its metabolized into morphine. I have had 2 nose surgeries to improve my breathing one of them was the worst physical pain Ive felt, thats when I tried opiates.
I suffer from chronic rhinitis so my inefficient breathing often causes nightmares and physical pain. Ive gotten as much professional help as possible, both mental and physical; as well ad therapy.
I want to write this "letter" to you as a means to try to stop bitching so frequently.
In the past 2 weeks ive had nothing but suicide and despair on my mind.
Miss M. my former best friend cant help me, she has something against rivotril even when I wasnt taking any and it was prescribed by every single doctor she thoght that was the root of all my problems, she doesnt get it, other friends just say I hope you get better and pretend everythings ok.
Every morning I wake up depressed to tears thinking lifes not worth it, I have to painfully get breakfast so I can a have a handful of pills, and feel a little better when tramadol and rivotril kicks in.
My liver, stomach and guts have cronic damage from years of abuse, ive also been taking medicine for that for years, I have to follow a very restrictive diet and yet I damage my liver more with sugar addiction because extreme anxiety.
Now that im back to rivotril im a lifeless zombie, its a sedative it prevents me from getting violent and from extreme anxiety but it doesnt allways work.
I take rivotril because its by far the strongest ansiolitic drug for anxiety out here, every doctor determined no other drug worked for me as even the strongest one struggled to regulate my depression and they didnt even try to adress adhd because depression was the priority.
Once the effects of rivotril wears out in a few hours its complete hell, panic, I want to break everything, I cut myself to release endorphines and adrenalin so I can think clearly and get out of the panic mode.
And its not small cut eithers, I grab a butchers knife and start chopping I have over 50 cuts in my arm and they would be a ton more if I had less self control.
This is considering I hate and fear blood.
https://youtu.be/_Gv-7yHScco?si=No03Ge1OiV7qukrD
This short 6 min video explains what tramadol does to me, it uses fentanyl as its example but everything she says applies to tramadol.
The problem is even if tramadol helps with depression and anxiety, and makes me feel like my breathing is perfect and I have no rhinitis/allergy, its not enough because my depression and anxiety get so bad I need even more serotonin than tramadol's alone (or my receptors to work? Idk the correct terminology).
Everytime I start feeling hopeless, out of desperation I take 1 or 2 more pills of tramadol several times a day, it almost never works as my body just feels bloated but I do it everytime regardless, my liver is saturated with chemicals already.
Bupropion is the most effective SSRI ive taken by far but I can hardly afford its cost and I generated tolerance for it so quick, my depression surpasses drugs very easily when it gets bad so im trying to learn to live with that.
The video suggests treatment with 2 drugs, methadone which is ultra illegal here ane buprenorphine which my penultimate doctor scammed me, he used indiscriminately to make me a heavy opiate addict and then dissapeared charging me tons of money. The heavy buprenorphine doses made me feel like a normal person after years, I was so sure it was going to work. I even returned to my basketball team.
The doctor after that gave me insane amounts of rivotril (12mg a day) and the side effects as mentioned above were devastating and even worse with this dosage, this also lead me to take some very bad decisions.
Ive also heard about this famous naltrexone which is legal, but every single doctor refused to use that method, idk why.
After that doctor I completely left rivotril quickly, then I left bupropion and tramadol for aproximately a month, but I could not take it...
I couldnt breath, I had panic and paranoia episodes stronger than ever before, I even had very distorted visions as if I had taken psychedelics. I crawled to the drugstore for tramadol and I was ok in a matter of minutes.
Even my brain seems to have taken some sort of "loss" as for my reading comprehension is much worse, I skip words, whole paragraphs and read words that arent there at all. This could be unrelated tho.
I just want not to feel terrible and there is nothing that helps me with that, in those moments I really wanns end it all and I feel so bad for my cats who can detect my emotions, my eldest one isnt as strong anymore to take all that negative energy.
My mom is more sick than me and my dad has a terminal illness, they cant take this, my friends are not prepared to deal with major disorders + physical illness, sometimes I feel saved by you, you helped me survive another day.
I just want to die, I think about suicide everyday I truly do but my cat and mom would die too, id completely ruin their lives and I cant do that to them, hopeless doesnt beggin to describe my absolute despair.
Expensive one hour session with my therapist, as good as she is, only goes so far, 1 houweek is way too few time, and lm surprised friends cant help, I dont rely on them anymore, they have 0 comprehension and all advice/solutions that arent worth shit.
I look like a normal person and sometimes my looks are above average, its impossible for people to tell im feeling like shit and often times they dont believe me because I look fine.
I lost my sports progress, I lost my job and I lost my will to live, I have extreme apathy I just dont feel like doing anything at all.
As a final note support groups have failed me in the past, they do work momentsrily but I find as soon as the effect wears off a lot of people end up worse than before, including me.

Dose it make sense that hope is the strongest Like I get her being in the same league with the other originals but she’s even is stronger than them and stronger than supernatural creatures who are way stronger than vampires werewolf like if we go by mythology dragons are way stronger than werewolves and vampires and the older they get the stronger they get and she’s be able to defeat them that easily.
She’s as strong as a Gods who again is stronger than vampires, werewolves witches. Like we are talking about gods but she’s as strong as them, and she’s way more immortal than them, which is confusing, her being strong is not confusing her being the strongest is confusing
Like to me it was way simpler
We had originals the strongest vampires then we had hybrids then we had witches, werewolves, and vampires then came enhanced originals who are same type of original just their powers are enhanced then come the upgraded original who had the same weakness as a normal original, except their powers were enhanced, and they had venom werewolf venom.
And then the tribride came she’s a combination of three species vampires, werewolf, and witches OK I understand that that’s easy to understand
she’s an original what type of original we don’t know is she an enhanced version or an upgraded one is she a different type all together is a sub original stronger than normal original
why does she have different way to die than the other originals? They had white oak she has red they they have weaknesses and limitations she doesn’t like are we going to believe that Klaus can fight as good as hope against Ken can Marcel but a fight against him as good as hope

One night in late January my boyfriend and I took more acid after taking an initial dose. Everything seemed fine, usual tripping stuff. I remember later feeling so much love and so connected to everything that I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to break up with him, if that would make him happy. He doesn't recall this conversation at all.
When he responded, it was as if he were repeating my words in slow motion, and everything I said afterwards he simply repeated as a question. After that, I remember a hallucination in which my boyfriend was telling me I took the perfect ratio of acid to my body weight to "unlock" my third eye. By morning I was acting so strangely that I was taken to the hospital by my boyfriend and mom. I was released briefly the next day but I remained incoherent so I was taken to a different hospital on the following day.
They eventually sent me to a psych hospital where I remained for the rest of the days I was "officially" psychotic. They put me on one of the strongest antipsychotics, which snapped me out of my mind's own inner hell after over a week, and I still wasn't completely back.
They released me with a prescription for the antipsychotic I was on, and I still remained delusional (but no hallucinations) for about six months before I finally fully came back to reality. I have some fragmented memories of being in psychosis, so AMA.
EDIT: I am so sorry I didn't get to everyone's questions, now I'm so overwhelmed by the comments I don't know how much more I can answer, but I will try. I had no idea this would blow up! Thank you guys for all your supportive comments, the few that weren't really got under my skin, but I was also having a bad night.
EDIT #2: Okay, unfortunately I have to stop answering questions in the comments, but I'll try to answer some common ones here.

1. I was diagnosed with Schizo-Affective bipolar type disorder after the break. My paternal grandmother had Bipolar type II.
   
2. I don't know EXACTLY how much acid I took, I just took one and a third gel tabs. Also, we didn't test the tabs we had so it may not have been pure LSD, I don't know.
   
3. The hallucinations and delusions were complicated, so I'll just summarize them and my behavior:
   

I thought in the hospital that aliens were trying to abduct me, I kept sneaking out of my hospital room, taking off my clothes, and I did pee myself several times.
I thought my dad was God and my mom was Gaia. Everyone's pupils seemed to be huge.
I also experienced two nurses not meeting my eyes whenever I looked at them to ask them something, but it was like they shifted their eyes automatically, as if some force was controlling them.
I thought I was the virgin Mary at one point and that my boyfriend was either Satan or Jesus.
I remember thinking everyone was zombies, and that my grandma was rescuing my cousin and I and taking us to outer space.
I had a horrible experience where I felt myself losing consciousness and felt as if I was going to hell, like my consciousness was literally being destroyed.

1. I am doing much better now, although I occasionally have manic episodes.

Thank you everyone for reading and asking questions, I hope you all have a wonderful day and life.

I have had insomnia since I was a kid (elementary school age), but a year ago I discovered it might be more of a circadian rhythm problem.. Im perfectly awake at night, and can sleep perfectly fine during the day. No meds needed AT ALL. I worked night shift for about 5 months but couldn't keep it as the pay was abysmal, and for that period I didn't need meds at all. Now I need meds to keep me awake and to put me to sleep. Does anyone else have this issue of swapped awake times without being a shift worker? To note, I take my meds, I go to sleep, and get up at the same time EVERYDAY like routine so no whacky all over the place sleep times that would be throwing it off.
I see a sleep specialist on Wednesday and I'm absolutely nervous as much as I want answers they also mention on their website they focus on minimizing medication. I'm on A LOT of medication to function. I need it to work. If they cut me off of it I won't be able to work. A doctor has tried to cut me off lunesta while I was in the hospital, and I didn't sleep for 5 days because I needed to be up during the day to look like I was participating and bs. They gave me trazadone, remeron, vistaril, and clonidine but I need the heavy stuff. They didn't really give a hoot saying "welllll you were on it for so long so your body is just withdrawing" (I have been on sleeping meds for over a decade.. I'm only 25). Which is all fine and dandy while I'm in the hospital, but while I'm out, I can't go to work on multiple days of no sleep. Especially since once I was out I tried tapering myself off (the hospital just cut me off cold turkey) and I went an additional 3 weeks with 0-2 hours of sleep until I caved and went back to my usual dose cuz how tf am I supposed to work like that. I'm just trying to calm myself down by reassuring myself they can't mess with any meds they don't prescribe to me right? Since my psych prescribes me all that stuff. The hospital was kind of a different situation since I was at the mercy of the doctors there lol.

Now that I've been on this drug about a year I thought I'd share my experience, maybe someone can find it useful when deciding whether or not to start bupropion.
I'll start with the positives. The main reason I started taking this drug is for social anxiety, I would always find myself overthinking every social interaction, worrying what others thought of me, being nervous for seemingly no reason, I'm sure lots of you can relate to these feelings. Well honestly, I barely know what social anxiety feels like anymore. That's not to say I'm now some super social butterfly, but I'm simply more chill, I don't care what others think, I don't overthink what I've said, and everything just feels easier.
Another positive is just how I feel in general. There isn't many ups and downs, I wouldn't say I'm completely emotionally blunted but my mood has been pretty stable. I go about my days doing what I want without that feeling of impending doom looming over me. I can do things I enjoy like playing video games and actually enjoy it instead of feeling like I'm wasting my time. I'm more content with my life and way of living and not worrying about having to do this and that.
This takes me on to the negatives, as you can imagine the lack of fucks given does indeed have it's downsides. My old habits, which I should probably call bad habits, seem to be amplified rather than improved by bupropion. My house is quite messy all the time and I simply don't care. I also don't care about keeping in touch with people as much, even family and friends. I virtually ignore people until I feel like talking to them, which is obviously selfish, and I only hang out when I want to, which is less often than before. Although I'm not totally withdrawing myself I'm definitely becoming more introverted, which is unexpected given the lack of social anxiety.
Other random notes that are worth including. Bupropion definitely interacts with most stimulants and makes them virtually useless. Although my morning coffee is still effective, I've completely stopped modafinil as sometimes it has the opposite effect and makes me feel tired and groggy. Phenylpiracetam is an almost equally strong stimulant that doesn't do much for me anymore. The most affected by this though is nicotine. I can see why it's a stop smoking aid, even the strongest nicotine pouches give me no hit, although I still use them out of habit.
I don't believe my libido has been affected much, it's always been high and remains that way. I haven't had any weird side effects that I can think of, I think I felt very bad for about a week after starting it but it quickly went away. It improved my energy levels quite dramatically at the beginning, which still remains to some degree. My dose is 150 XL, I don't feel like doubling that dose would have any benefits. For me the improvement in mood and anxiety has made bupropion worthwhile.

Sadly the survival kit did not yield anything remotely resembling a gun. Indeed, Rene could hardly make sense of most of the artifacts he found. He made a catalogue of those which he could recognize: a collapsible tent made of the same wondrous fibers as the jumpsuit, a portable stove, a package of brown lumps he suspected to be fire starters, a mess tin with a full set of folding utensils, a water flask, a wristwatch with attached compass (both of which possessed no hands but showed the time and magnetic reading through glowing lights) and a pouch full of white cubes that smelled like cinnamon.
As for the rest of the kit, that was a total mystery to him. Among them were a gauntlet fused to an underslung pipe, a hollow sphere, a folding tripod that held up some sort of bowl or dish with a great big spike sticking out of its center (perhaps it was meant for cooking stew in), and a lacquered obsidian slate marked with lines like a checkerboard.
He decided to fiddle around with them later. Reconnaissance came first. Before he left, Rene rolled up one dirty sleeve and located his femoral artery with his fingertips. He took out the syringe containing the antifungal drug and winced as the needle tip dimpled his skin, drawing a tiny bead of blood. He stowed the syringe away with the two extra doses then carefully packed his belongings inside the case, taking the extra time to arrange the stuff as compactly as possible.
A soldier’s rucksack contained everything he could depend on out in the field. One of the first lesson’s he’d learned as a footslogger was to maximize the use of its space to cram in as much useful gear as possible. There was no telling which of these artefacts would wind up saving his life out here, and Rene had a gut feeling that he would need every single one of them before this ordeal was over.
With the sheathed sword in one hand and the handle of the survival kit in the other, Rene went looking for water.
It was deep in the night, and Zildiz felt her children nibbling at her again. Hungry, always hungry. Aa faint smile graced her hard features. It was true what her mother had told her once: we are all of us slaves to our stomachs. But tonight she had nothing left to give. The stores of fat and predigested protein in the larder were all gone, eaten up during the lean dry season. Zildiz herself was completely spent, exhausted after a long day of futile hunting. What little she had caught had barely kept her in the air.
“Go to sleep, my little waifs,” she whispered tenderly, “Mother is tired.”
A cold draft swept across the paper floor of her nest, stirring up the dust and pieces of molted exomorph. The three of them were growing far too quickly for her liking. If only they would stay this tiny for another cycle or so, just so she could enjoy their company. That wide-eyed innocence and total dependency of pupae—to her that was the essence of motherhood. All the sacrifices of time and energy and affection, made in exchange for satiating an emotional compulsion more powerful than anything she’d felt in her maiden years.
And for what, she had to wonder. What did she stand to gain from this crooked bargain? They were helpless without her, all three of them, plump little blobs of soft flesh. What could they do for her that could even begin to repay her for her efforts?
Yes, through them she could pass on her likeness and traits to the succeeding generations of Gallivants ad infinitum. But did that truly matter? In time her descendants’ blood would mingle with that of the greater whole, and everything that made her, Zildiz, unique would be diluted to the point of obliteration. In time none of her descendants would resemble her in the slightest. If that was the immortality promised by the Vitalus, then she wasn’t interested.
Why then did she endure this pointless slavery and toil, waiting hand and foot on these…these parasites? Yes, that was what they were in the strictest sense of the word. Like ticks they had latched onto her, taking and taking until she had nothing left for herself.
And yet for some reason Zildiz was pleased with her role. More than that, she was happy to do it.
“For you, everything,’ she told them fiercely, “Everything.”
She drew the silk-spun cocoon around them and held them tight to her chest. They whimpered and shivered against the chill, and she felt her heart breaking. How would they survive the next dry spell? What if the rains never came back? There was only one choice that remained to her.
“Everything,” she swore to them again, “Take all that I am.”
And so her children began to eat the only thing she had left to offer up: herself. Though the pain was indescribable she let them do it, and felt the strength in her body slowly draining away.
“There you go,” she said, biting back the tears, “It doesn’t matter. Whatever happens, the four of you must live on.”
Four? No, that couldn’t be right. She only had three children. There was amber-eyed Polux, eldest and strongest. There too was dainty Sinestra who had grown right out of her first exomorph in a matter of days and was flying in a matter of weeks unassisted. Arvin was the youngest, born with a crooked leg and a cunning mind that more than made up for it.
But then why could she feel another presence in the room with her? Growing wild with hysteria, Zildiz pulled off the blanket and reached for her children. And there, curled up among its bawling siblings a desiccated husk with empty, rotting eyes staring back at her in accusation.
“No,” Zildiz wailed, “Oh, please no!”
Her screams rang out into the night, echoing across the treetops. But for all her grief and rage her cries could not wake the dead, and she was left drowning in her tears.
It was at this point that Zildiz woke up and found that she was drowning in the literal sense as well. Choking and screaming, she came bursting up out of the river, spewing a geyser of water from her mouth as she dragged herself up the riverbank, retching and gasping for breath.
Her lungs and throat felt raw from swallowing too much river water. Her body felt like it was being stabbed with a hundred pins and needles. Looking down at her chest she found that she was covered in hideous, fat leeches that were feasting on what they had mistaken for a corpse. Hissing in annoyance she tore them off and stuffed them into her jaws, blood spurting from the corners of her mouth. She needed all food she could get in order to heal her wounds properly. Besides, most of what she was eating had been hers to begin with anyway.
Zildiz got up and assessed her injuries. The deep and insistent ache in her back meant that one of her forewings had been torn off at the socket. That was going to set her back a few cycles to regrow. She had it lucky, all things considered. The grey behemoth could have burnt her to a crisp like the others. Remembering its trail of destruction, Zildiz looked around in panic and found to her relief that the monster was nowhere in sight. But that didn’t mean she was in the clear just yet; this was the river Sybil, deep in the heart of hostile territory. The Leapers ruled this biome, and they did not suffer incursions from their aerial cousins lightly. She needed to get out of here as quickly as possible.
Licking her fingers clean, Zildiz waded up out of the shallows and into the steaming jungle.

I've had chronic insomnia for many years now, most of my life. Some things have worked temporarily in the past, but this past year has been hell and nothing is working. I've done sleep studies, practiced good sleep hygiene, sleep meditations, exercise, bath before bed, everything else that is usually recommended. I have pretty severe PTSD, and the past few years have been the most traumatic and I'm sure that's a big part of it. I recently did SGB and it the benefits only seemed to last about a week. I've tried EMDR also. Been in therapy 25+ years. It usually takes at least 5 hours for me to fall asleep, sometimes longer, and even after I've finally fallen asleep I usually wake up at least once an hour and then it takes a while to fall back asleep again. Here's some of the meds I've tried (with all of these I've tried up to the highest dose possible, even sometimes tried doubling and have also tried various combinations of many of these):
Seroquel: used to work years ago but now doesn't seem to have any effect
Benadryl (even up to 200mg): no effect
Unisom: no effect
Ambien: no effect
Lunesta: no effect
Melatonin: no effect
Ativan: no effect
Clonazepam: no effect
Vistaril: no effect
Doxepin, no effect
DSIP: no effect
Phenibut: no effect
Trazadone: no effect
Gabapentin: no effect
Promethazine: no effect
Belsomra: no effect
Remeron: no effect
Risperdal: no effect
Geodon: no effect
Sonata: no effect
Restoril: no effect
Clonidine: no effect
Propranolol: no effect
Selank: no effect
CBD and CBN: no effect
Many herbal supplements (ashwaghanda, magnesium, passionflower, 5-htp, etc.): no effect
There's probably more I just can't think of at the moment, but basically it seems like medications just don't work for me for some reason. The only combinations that have had minimal effect (I fall asleep within 2 hours instead of 5) are not sustainable because of tolerance build up or risk of addiction or things like that. Many of these aren't supposed to be taken together but when I'm super desperate for sleep I'll try anything. For example, when I take these all together it only takes about 2 hours to fall asleep instead of 5 or more: 300mg seroquel, 200mg trazadone, 12.5mg Ambien, 1mg klonopin, 250mg phenibut, 10mg melatonin and 20mg propranolol. When I take that combination I barely feel anything and it does take a while to fall asleep still, but I'll take anything I can get. I've been trying to function on an average of 2-3 hours of sleep a night, some nights I end up getting zero sleep, and I'm just not functional in the world.
I've literally gone to the emergency room a handful of times in tears begging for something that actually helps, but they usually just tell me to take melatonin or something and send me away.
oh also, cannabis, along with a few of the meds mentioned above is usually helpful, but I end up having horrible hangovers with cannabis and am barely functional the next day... although I'm barely functional as it is bc of my sleep issues.
Does anyone else suffer from insomnia to this high of a degree? Have you found anything sustainable that works for insomnia this severe?

So First off:

Giant Blood(Few indeed can contest your might. For 100 CP you are head and shoulders larger than a normal member of your species, suffering no loss in dexterity or agility and practically brimming with strength and vitality.)

And

The Seven’s Favor[Warrior](There have been others in the past who have been said to have the Warrior’s favor, but none quite like you. You have the body, look and skills that make you come across as a god of war made flesh on the battlefield, a titan bestriding the earth among lesser mortals.
Should you wish, you may take on an immense stature like the Mountain’s, gaining incredible strength and vitality while losing none of your speed and suffering none of Clegane’s complications. Alternatively, if you prefer to remain a more normal size, your speed, reflexes, and accuracy will more than make up the difference as they quicken to heights that a hero of the age could only barely contest against.
Regardless, your skills make you a match for Arthur Dayne, Jaime Lannister and Barristan Selmy… at the same time. Within moments of picking up a weapon you can wield it as an extension of your arm, and such is your endurance that others would die a dozen deaths before you even begin to tire.)

And

The Seed is Strong(Very strong. You have the blood of kings and heroes in you now, and it runs true in all forms. You have any and all powers ever possessed by any of your ancestors, even the ones that were not supposed to be inheritable.
In addition, you are, in general, quite possibly the most perfect, the strongest specimen of your kind that exists in the world. As a human you become a Post-Olympian, a magnificent specimen of a person with strength, beauty, flexibility and all other attributes pushed as high as can be.
In future jumps too, if and when you become some other species, race or whatnot, you always emerge as equal to the absolute greatest of the kind that has ever been seen, if not greater still.)

And

Númenórean[600 version](You are descended, perhaps distantly, perhaps less so, from the very greatest kindred of Men. If you wish to share in their mien, you may find yourself pale of skin, dark of hair, grey of eye, and possessed of a striking, regal countenance - or maybe you only want some of those characteristics?
For 200 CP, the blood of Númenor flows through you as it did the Dúnedain in the latter days of the Third Age - diminished, but yet strong. You have a particular knack for battle, smith-craft, and sailing, but regardless of what arts you pursue you’ll find yourself sharp of mind and strong of limb, on the taller side for your kindred. You can expect to live perhaps twice the age of lesser Men, and illness or disease will seldom touch you.
For 600 CP, however, your blood has all the richness of Númenor’s royal line, like Ar-Pharazon himself; a span of five centuries is allotted you, seven feet or more in height as a human, strength and speed and vitality even beyond the bounds of your frame, an expansive and incisive intellect, and a charisma that transcends mere force of presence.
You are a ruler born: command comes naturally to you, strategy, tactics, economics, logistics, and statecraft unfolding in your mind at the least of prompting. Your ability to orate is something out of legend, and the loyalty you inspire is such that your men would follow you into Mordor or the Seven Hells without question.)

And

Captain Planetos(Good becomes great, but fortunately for you, your Benefactor will interfere to stop bad becoming worse. You’ve been dosed with the archetypal Super-Soldier Serum, sometimes known as the Erskine Formula, pushing all of your physical and mental capacities to the very limit of biological capability. You can bicep curl a helicopter, outsprint a car, withstand a parachuteless paradrop with nary a broken bone, and do all of it full-out for hours before you even begin to tire - even then, a mere couple of hours’ sleep a night is enough to fully refresh you. Your senses, reactions, dexterity, and mental faculties are all similarly heightened.
Comes complete with a veteran’s experience and steady nerves, a head for strategy and tactics, and a real talent for leadership. You’ve got to live up to the legacy, after all.)

And

A Green Hand(Ah, there has been one like you before in this world. You are Garth Greenhand reborn, in all his power and majesty. Tall, broad-shouldered and majestic, you are the very image of a king. But it’s upon looking deeper that your truth is unveiled.
Life pours from you, unabated and unchecked. Yours is a power ancient and eternal, such that farms and fields blossom in your wake, old people find strength returned to their limbs and disease and death fade like dew in the sun.
You are like the Old God who inspired so many stories. From healing any and all injury to bringing the recently dead back to life, you can do it all. No disease can resist your touch, and miracles occur every day around you.
You can see into the minds and souls of those you touch, and even judge them as is your right as a living god. You can pour vitality into people to turn back their age, or use those same flames to burn them to ash.)

All Together Equals HOW FREAKING BIG AM I?!
Secondly I used This:

Double-Or Nothing(Once per Jump, pick a single option from that jump that costs CP. All values of said option double. Benefits, duration, negative effects, rolls, number of choices, even its cost. For example, a perk that made you Kryptonian for 1000 CP would grant twice the strength/durability/speed/senses but also twice the vulnerabilities and cost 2000 CP. An item that gave you a magic sword for 400 CP would now give two magic swords, each twice as large, and with magic twice as strong, but cost 800 CP. A Drawback that gave you a powerful enemy for 600 CP would give two enemies with each enemy having twice the powers and abilities, but also grant 1200 CP. A companion option for 100 CP with the companion getting 400 CP to spend would give you two identical companions with 800 CP to spend but cost 200 CP. A starting location choice for 50 CP would put you in two different locations at once, but cost 100 CP and not actually give you any ability to survive being in two places at once.)

On this

Scion of the Gods(Well, you’re a bit lost. You’re a demigod, by default the child of a Greek or Roman god, but you can pick any real-world deity or any divinity from a past Jump. I suppose you could even choose one of the locals if you like! As demigods go you’re top tier; you have access to all your divine parent’s domains, and not weak access either. A son of Poseidon could cause a big enough earthquake to set off a volcano, a daughter of Pluto could raise an entire Legion of undead soldiers, a child of Amaterasu could immolate a city in sunfire…)

To pick both the Drowned God and Mother Rhoyne together:
Also Have This

(Garin’s Gift -
The blood of the Rhoynar flows strong in you, and you have awakened to the gift of the old Water Mages of their ancient kingdom, long destroyed after centuries of conflicts with Valyria.
Just like any great Rhoynish maegi, you can call upon the water to drown your enemies on dry land, bring life to barren desert, heal wounds, cure or inflict curses and disease, and perhaps other, more mysterious powers. Should your mastery grow great enough, you may even unleash such a plague as the incurable Greyscale - which, as it happens, you are quite immune to, being a favoured child of Mother Rhoyne.
If you also happen to be a Mage, this makes you every bit the master of these arts as Garin the Great ever was. You can commune with Mother Rhoyne herself at will, but even without doing so you far outstrip any ordinary master of water in every aspect. The powers of curse and ruin available to you, especially, are something to behold - a manifestation of Mother Rhoyne’s wrath and sorrow for her people.)

And I am a Mage
So my questions for this second bit are, just how good am I at controlling water? And uh, what would the followers of these gods think of me? What kind of Religious nonsense do you think would spawn from this? Doubly so if the Priests of the Religions involved were just like "Yup That's there kid"?

I take pride in the fact that I have never read a spicy book in my life.
Well, I used to at least.
Turns out, the awesome Dragon Rider burrito I ordered had a couple of unexpected jalapenos in it – but, luckily, not being prepared made it incredibly funny.
Overall, this is just a badass dragon story, so don’t let that other stuff… turn you off from it.
Violet Sorrengail was raised to be a scribe and set to live out her days surrounded by books – but if that worked out, we wouldn’t have much of a story.
Following her father’s death, her mother – the commanding general of Basgiath – ordered Violet to become one of the military’s elite dragon riders. While other candidates had years to prepare, Violet only had six months… and that’s on top of her unusually brittle body. Luckily for her, that wasn’t the last of the difficulties she would face.
Xaden Riorson, the strongest and most ruthless dragon rider that the quadrant has seen in years, wants her dead – along with most other riders within Basgiath’s walls.
Oh yeah, and it’s enemies-to-lovers.
I love this book.
Fourth Wing gained a massive following from its success on BookTok, but I only just recently found out it existed. Fourth Wing’s audiobook’s narrator, Rebecca Soler, also happens to be the narrator for Marrissa Meyer’s books… and I love Marissa Meyer’s books. Finding this hyper-popular bestseller from a list of narrator credits will never not be funny to me.
Oh and also, before we move on from audiobooks, I did want to mention that Graphic Audios just announced their adaptation, so some of you may want to wait until the entire book is adapted with their full cast. I know I’ll be giving that a shot come DecembeJanuary.
Moving forward, for those of you who are looking for a spoiler-free reason to go read this book, here you go:
Fourth Wing manages to seamlessly pull you into a world using only the necessary world-building while building on characters to a point where you will be bouncing in your seat as you read – or at least, I was.
tldr, go read the book.
Now, for those of you who want to hear my in-depth opinion so you can either agree emphatically or threaten my livelihood, we are now entering spoiler territory.
Liam. Yep. I am starting with Liam, the others can wait.
That one hurt Rebecca. That was unfair – and brilliant – but absolutely unfair. His arc from being a throwaway name to being so many of our favorites was so well done… but now we have to go four books without him. FOUR.
THAT’S THE WHOLE SERIES.
But it’s okay.
You wouldn’t do that again Rebecca, right?
Right?
Violet Sorrengail felt unique.
Sure, she’s still the classic “girl in love but stubborn about it,” but she wears the trope well. She has a healthy dose of “Meg” from Hercules Energy, which I love. Weird comparison, sure, but Hercules was a good movie so get over it.
Her unwavering mental fortitude despite how fragile her body is proves to be a winning combination, and as her character develops, that only becomes even more true.
The only criticism I have for Violet is that she was ever romantically interested in Dain. Ew.
Speaking of Dain, ew.
I’m not even going to add fan art of him. He doesn’t even deserve it.
I will, however, admit that Rebecca’s foreshadowing with him was pretty awesome, as I didn’t even know what he had been doing until Xaden told Violet – but yeah fuck that guy. He made me uncomfortable the moment he was introduced.
DRAGONS! LETS TALK ABOUT DRAGONS!
Tairn is so cool! The moment he was mentioned in the story, I instantly thought, “Oh, that’s going to be Violet’s dragon.” The massive black dragon will obviously go to the fragile girl who also happens to be the protagonist.
Then, when Andarna was mentioned, I started questioning my earlier thoughts. It felt too obvious, but it was just enough to make me doubt.
Then Rebecca said fuck it, we ball.
The scene where Violet is registering the names of her bonded dragons is probably one of my favorites. That and the flaming curtains.
That shit was funny.
Xaden Riorson.
Oh boy.
I know that the dark, brooding type is not exactly the “Newton’s apple” of romantacy… but who cares? Xaden is like, my favorite guy. He is imposing, a renegade, and says deep, poetic shit like, “There’s nowhere in existence you could go that I wouldn’t find you, Violence.”
How could you not like him?
Plus, Violence is a hype nickname, so kudos to that.
If they aren’t the endgame duo, Fourth Wing will officially become a single novel rather than the start of a five-book journey.
That being said, if she kills both of them, that’s alright too. Normally I would shun that, but total protagonist death beats the alternative – at least they wouldn’t be left alone in the world.
Personally, I think we are going to get a slow burn and have to deal with them fighting and then get back together a couple of times. The whole “mated dragons” thing kind of forces that. It’s a bit like Katniss & Peeta’s situation in Catching Fire, and we know that they made it work, eventually.
Theories like “Dain is the enemy is enemies-to-romance” or “Andarna will get a mate” are stupid. Plus, I’m pretty sure Andarna won’t be getting a mate anytime soon, being a 2-year-old dragon and all. Tairn and Sgaeyl are presumably hundreds of years old.
But, enough mushy romance theories. I need to take a breather and remind myself that this entire story is literally just written words on a page. Okay.
Moving on.
Here’s what you probably didn’t come for but kind of has to be mentioned.
I was a silly guy. I didn’t realize that “New Adult” often tackles sex – and the worst part is that this one’s all on me. I can’t even deflect blame in an attempt to retain my innocence.
So, there I was, listening to the AUDIOBOOK, and minding my own business when… well… you know. Unexpected words started being said and I started getting very confused. I felt like Mike on the first night of working at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria.
All and all, it’s a really small part of the book, taking a back seat while the plot and relationships take the driver’s side. It’s not just a bottle of hot sauce the whole way through and when it is, the scenes actually seem to serve some purpose in character progression. Unlike some other books.
Also, Xaden is a peak gentleman so we love that.
Suffice it to say, I think I’ll just read the sequel. With my eyes.
This book has given me a new goal for my own writing. I want readers to be able to see my worlds in their minds the same way I was able to see Basgiath War College.
I want my characters to stick out like Violet, Xaden, and even Dain – and I want my readers to flock to TikTok or wherever desperately looking for reassurance about future storylines just like I do.
So, in an announcement that surprises no one: I cannot wait for Iron Flame. The way Rebecca ended Fourth Wing was… I don’t even know. There is so much that could be going down in Iron Flame.
I need that book, but I’m not sure I’m ready for it – if I’ll ever be ready for it – but regardless, it’ll be on my shelf come November 7th. I hope that my review with have as much praise as this one does.
Fourth Wing is a story about dragons, sure, but it’s also about humans and just how much we are willing to sacrifice to maintain power and ignorance.
A reader without this book is a tragedy.
This book without a reader is… still a book? I guess?

I’ll preface this by saying I aggressively treat pain in my patients.
I have a coworker (nonsupervisor) who constantly pulls backseat medic on my runs. Here lately her target has been my use of pain meds.
Recently had an IFT of a patient with kidney stones. Multiple 8mm+, with hydronephrosis. 40 minute drive to the hospital for surgery. Reason for ALS is literally “pain control”. Get going, offer my man pain relief if he wants, he says yes. Start with 50mcg of fentanyl, which works until we get near the hospital. He says pain is coming back, so I give him 5mg of morphine, mostly because I don’t know when he’ll get another dose of meds. Morphine might not be strongest, but it’ll linger longer until doc puts in orders. We don’t carry toradol unfortunately, or anything else.
Coworker goes ballistic when she signs off for narcs. Full on screaming in the bay, accusing me of diverting, calling me an idiot, the works. This same medic is a “you earn narcotics” type, and will open and close her narc log at shift start.
I’m just annoyed. Anyone else think that was narc overuse?

Hi guys,
I've had issues my whole life with allowing myself to feel angry. All the techniques I've come across to let out anger have been intense exercise/activities that require exertion and my body cannot handle that. It's proving hard to find coping strategies for anger that doesn't worsen pain in my body.
I have FND which is a chronic illness that causes me a lot of chronic pain, nerve pain and fatigue. Currently I'm struggling to even stand for more than 5 mins at a time and when I DO manage to walk/stretch I become very breathless (due to long-covid). I get lightheaded very easily in different positions (sit-standing mostly).
Does anyone else know methods of releasing anger that are disability-friendly? I often get bad nerve pain in my hands so many things become impossible to do when they flare up. I have a better weekly routine now but body gets overwhelmed by pain on a daily basis unless I'm on my strongest dose of pain meds - at those points I'm very spacey and not really able to feel the anger to deal with it in a healthy way.
I'm quite desperate for ideas. I've surpressed anger my whole life and subconsciously dissociated from it completely until memories of severe CSA and torture started resurfacing last year. I'm 27 years old and have a LOT of anger that's been unprocessed and not released.

DAY: MAY 8 2024
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• 5-8-2024A 30-YEAR US STUDY LINKS ULTRA-PROCESSED FOOD TO HIGHER RISK OF EARLY DEATH Higher consumption of most ultra-processed foods is linked to a slightly higher risk of death, with ready-to-eat meat, poultry, and seafood based products, sugary drinks, dairy based desserts, and highly processed breakfast foods showing the strongest associations
• 5-8-2024ABOUT 90% OF US ADULTS ARE ON THE WAY TO HEART DISEASE, STUDY SUGGESTS Nine of 10 American adults are in the early, middle or late stages of a syndrome that leads to heart disease, a new report finds, and almost 10% have the disease already. “Poor cardiovascular, kidney, and metabolic health is widespread among the U.S. population,”
• 5-8-2024RESEARCH PROVIDES TIPS TO REDUCE CHILDREN’S LYING Getting children to speak the truth can be a struggle at times. While a lie, when discovered, is often followed by a punishment, there’s a more effective way to prevent future fibbing
• 5-8-2024MANAGING MIGRAINE EFFECTIVELY Migraine is a neurologic disorder. The severe pain of migraine typically is on one side of the head but may be on both sides. Symptoms also may include nausea, vomiting, sensitivity to light and sound, difficulty speaking, or visual disturbances known as aura with flashes of light or blind spots.
• 5-8-2024DRIVE TO BE ‘PERFECT’ PARENT ISN’T HEALTHY, SURVEY FINDS Parents striving to be “perfect” will never attain that goal, and the aim isn’t even healthy for their families, a new study says. The risks of striving for perfection are such that researchers have now created a scale to help parents track their burnout and, if necessary, counter it. The first-of-its-kind,
• 5-8-2024HOW INFECTIONS INFLUENCE OUR SOCIAL EMPATHY When people are ill, they feel less empathy for others than when they are healthy. The researchers investigated “sickness behavior,” a process in which the body reorganizes its biological priorities in the context of an acute infection
• 5-8-2024HYPERTENSIVE DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY MAY INCREASE WOMEN’S RISK FOR BLOOD CLOTS LATER IN LIFE South Carolina received a poor report card from the March of Dimes in 2023 because more of its mothers die due to pregnancy-related complications or childbirth than the national average.
• 5-8-2024ALMOST 30% OF CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS EXPERIENCE PAIN IN MUSCLES, BONES OR LIGAMENTS, STUDY SHOWSSome 27% of Brazilian children and adolescents suffer from musculoskeletal pain of unspecified cause The problem is frequently underestimated by parents and health professionals
• 5-8-2024TALKING WITH A FRIEND CAN EASE THE STING OF BEING LEFT OUT Small, simple forms of social connection—such as a conversation with a friend, or even just looking forward to one—can lessen the negative feelings and thoughts that come with being socially excluded
• 5-8-2024INCONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE SUGGESTS ZINC MAY SLIGHTLY SHORTEN COMMON COLD taking zinc may help to reduce the duration of common cold symptoms by about two days, but the evidence is not conclusive and potential benefits must be balanced against side effects.
• 5-8-2024HOW OUR KNOWLEDGE OF ARTISTS INFLUENCES OUR PERCEPTION OF THEIR WORKS A neurocognitive study shows that negative knowledge about an artist influences the perception of the artwork, regardless of the artist’s level of fame. Can we separate art from the artist? History is littered with examples of famous artists who have fallen into disrepute due to controversial statements, beliefs or actions. 5-8-2024STUDY SUGGESTS DAILY CONSUMPTION OF OLIVE OIL REDUCES CHANCES OF DEVELOPING DEMENTIA daily consumption of olive oil may reduce the chances of developing dementia. In the study , the group analyzed data for thousands of people included in two separate health databases and found that those people who consumed at least 7 g of olive oil daily were less likely to die from dementia-related ailments.
• 5-8-2024YES, ADULTS CAN DEVELOP FOOD ALLERGIES—HERE ARE FOUR TYPES YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT If you didn’t have food allergies as a child, is it possible to develop them as an adult? The short answer is yes. But the reasons why are much more complicated. Preschoolers are about four times more likely to have a food allergy than adults and are more likely to grow out of it as they get older.
• 5-8-2024STUDY SHOWS DAMAGING IMPACT OF HEAT WAVES ON VITAL ORGANS Periodic heat waves-induced neuronal etiology in the elderly is mediated by gut-liver-brain axis: a transcriptome profiling approach. Researchers have found evidence of the molecular causes of the damaging impact heat stress causes on the gut, liver and brain in the elderly.
• 5-8-2024STUDY REVEALS ROLE OF IRON IN ALLERGIC ASTHMA AND POINTS TO POTENTIAL NEW THERAPIES New USC research shows that iron serves as a gas pedal driving certain immune cells that cause inflammation in the lungs during an allergic asthma attack—and blocking or limiting iron may reduce the severity of symptoms.
• 5-8-2024HELPING YOUR CHILD MAKE FRIENDS WITH A CHILD WITH AUTISM Kids are very likely to make the acquaintance of a child diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at some point, whether they know it or not. An estimated 95% of children with disabilities enroll in regular schools
• 5-8-2024GENE LINKED TO LEARNING DIFFICULTIES FOUND TO HAVE DIRECT IMPACT ON LEARNING AND MEMORY A gene previously linked to intellectual disability has been found to regulate learning and memory in mice. The gene, called KDM5B has previously been linked to some intellectual disability disorders and autism.
• 5-8-2024DIABETES IN YOUTH MAY INCREASE RISK FOR NEURODEGENERATIVE DISEASE, LIKE ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE, LATER IN LIFE Young people with diabetes may have a significantly higher risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease later in life Read More
• 5-8-2024NEW TOOL LINKS ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE TYPES TO RATE OF COGNITIVE DECLINE researchers have discovered a series of brain changes characterized by unique clinical features and immune cell behaviors using a new corticolimbic index tool for Alzheimer’s disease, a leading cause of dementia.
• 5-8-2024BARIATRIC SURGERY MAY REDUCE CANCER RISK When you think about obesity, you may not connect it to cancer. However, researchers long have suspected a link between certain cancers and weight. Among those are endometrial, ovarian, colon, liver, pancreatic and postmenopausal breast cancers, which together contribute to 15 to 20% of all cancer deaths in the U.S.
• 5-8-2024MOST SOCIALLY VULNERABLE COUNTIES LESS LIKELY TO HAVE CANCER TRIALS, ANALYSIS FINDS according to a research, the association between county-level social determinants of health (SDOH) and cancer clinical trial availability in the United States. Cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses of county-level trial availability and SDOH were performed.
• 5-8-2024SLEEP PROBLEMS AS A CHILD MAY BE ASSOCIATED WITH PSYCHOSIS IN YOUNG ADULTS Children who experience chronic lack of sleep from infancy may be at increased risk of developing psychosis in early adulthood, new research shows. children who persistently slept fewer hours, throughout this time period, were more than twice as likely to develop a psychotic disorder in early adulthood, and nearly four times as likely to have a psychotic episode.
• 5-8-2024LUNG CANCER IS THE DEADLIEST OF ALL CANCERS, AND SCREENING COULD SAVE MANY LIVES—IF MORE PEOPLE COULD ACCESS IT Many medical organizations have been recommending lung cancer screening for decades for those at high risk of developing the disease. But in 2022, less than 6% of people in the U.S. eligible for screening actually got screened. Compared with other common cancer screenings, lung cancer screening rates fall terribly behind.
• 5-8-2024WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT COVID VARIANTSThe virus behind COVID has mutated again, this time producing variants nicknamed FLiRT, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has reported. The variants are appearing in wastewater sampling
• 5-8-2024TRIFAROTENE PLUS SKIN CARE BENEFICIAL FOR ACNE VULGARIS Trifarotene plus skin care is beneficial for patients with moderate acne vulgaris (AV) and acne-induced hyperpigmentation (AIH)
• 5-8-2024HEALTH RISKS OF USING CANNABIS ARE HIGHER IN ADOLESCENTS THAN IN ADULTS, STUDY FINDS Using cannabis on a regular basis may be significantly more dangerous for adolescents than adults, with adolescents showing higher levels of cannabis use disorder and reporting greater negative impacts on daily functioning than adults
• 5-8-2024ADVANCES IN MINIMALLY INVASIVE KIDNEY STONE SURGERY Most small kidney stones can pass on their own. However, kidney stones that are too large to pass on their own or cause bleeding, kidney damage or ongoing urinary tract infections may require surgical treatment.
• 5-8-2024CANDY COMPANY RECALLS PRODUCTS DUE TO SALMONELLA RISK A Midwestern candy company has issued a massive recall due to the risk of salmonella tainting some of its products. Palmer Candy Company of Sioux City, Iowa, is recalling “white coated confectionary items” because they could be contaminated with salmonella
• 5-8-2024WE KNOW LATE-NIGHT SCREENS ARE BAD FOR SLEEP. HOW DO YOU STOP DOOMSCROLLING IN BED? Sleep scientists long ago established that insufficient sleep is linked with poor health outcomes, anxiety, obesity and several other negative effects. The research is equally conclusive that smartphones are particularly disruptive to the circadian clock that regulates sleep and other hormones.
• 5-8-2024STUDY DEBUNKS CONCERNS ABOUT BABY FEEDING METHODS What, and how, a baby is fed can weigh on a caregiver’s mind. A study has found two popular, but somewhat controversial, methods appear to have little significant impact on infants’ appetite and weight. The study analyzed the diets of 625 7 to 10-month-old babies, evaluating appetite-related outcomes of baby food pouch use and baby-led weaning.
  
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• 5-8-2024‘WRAPAROUND’ IMPLANTS REPRESENT NEW APPROACH TO TREATING SPINAL CORD INJURIES
  
• 5-8-2024STUDY FINDS THAT NEUROPATHY IS VERY COMMON BUT UNDERDIAGNOSED
  
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• 5-8-2024A NEW FRONTIER IN NEUROSCIENTIFIC FUSION
  
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