The background:
This is a long story because there's a lot of important background info that's relevant, but I want to start by saying my partner is a very kind, thoughtful, communicative, intelligent, and passionate man. We are from different countries, with different native languages, and are both currently living in my country (US). We met living in a major city, got very invested in each other very quickly, and after about 3-4 months he dropped a bomb that he'd applied for PhD programs all over the world and gotten into one in Europe. I have a really fantastic job and am pursuing an industry funded PhD in the city we met in, so moving was not an option for me. I had just gotten out of a LDR about a year prior to meeting him, and it really did not work for me because I value physical contact. But I really loved this man, he was so wonderful, treated me like an absolute princess in a way I've never really experienced, and I couldn't bare the thought of ending things, so we tried to make it work.
Fast forward, it's been like 2 more years. He reapplied to schools in the US and left his program in Europe to come back here and be closer to me (the visa issues and cost of the trans Atlantic flight were very difficult to manage). He is still a 2hr plane ride and 3 hour car ride away. This is tough because he doesn't have a car, but we see each other approximately every other month for at least a weekend, and spend summer break in my city.
For a variety of reasons, we are still really struggling. Our communication is off, and we have constant arguments and misunderstandings. I think we often miss each other because things are literally lost in translation (I am taking classes to learn his language, but we still primarily communicate in English). Our lives are now very different - I make a decent amount of money, travel frequently, I have roots in my city, and a good friend group and busy social life. This was how both of our lives were when we met, but he's now making very little money as a student and so he really can't travel even on a budget, a lot of his friendships have fallen off or moved away, and he's living in rural Midwestern US. I care so much but I'm losing track of what we had in common, and it's increasingly difficult for me to just "flip the switch" into relationship mode when he is here.
The conflict:
We had a very healthy but also honest conversation when he arrived for the summer a few weeks ago that neither of us were very happy, our communication is really poor, and decided that we would try to actively improve our relationship this summer and reassess if we wanted to continue in the fall. His program has 4 more years. I live in a big house with several friends because a) the rent in my city is insane for a single person and b) I like the company.
We had a big party yesterday, as we do a few times a year, and my boyfriend had fun all day, but at some point got really drunk and told my roommates' partner that he used to hate her, but he likes her a lot more now. I didn't witness this, and he wouldn't or couldn't tell me what he said, but another roommate approached him to say this really wasn't okay and the person was hurt by his words. He brushed it off saying he didn't mean it. We've talked a lot about how what you mean isn't as important as how it is perceived, and that having a filter is important, and my roommate was echoing these exact things I've said to him (which I have never mentioned to her), so I very much believe it happened. The partner he said this to also lives in our house about 50% of the time. My roommates allow him to live with us rent free over the summers because he has to maintain a residence in the state his uni is in and is pretty much flat broke, but this is really just out of kindness on their part. They could very easily ask for addition rent (our rate was just hiked significantly) and besides that, he's disturbed the peace in my home, which I really do not like.
He then sat down next to me (I was playing video games on the couch with a male friend, who is recently engaged, very kind, and totally platonic) and my boyfriend started muttering under his breath about how I wanted this guy and we were fucking or something. I don't even think my friend understood it was directed at him, but I definitely did. At this point I brought my boyfriend upstairs because I didn't want him to say any more shitty things to my friends. I asked him very calmly what was going on and he could barely make eye contact, would not acknowledge what I was saying, and wouldn't give me any straight answers. He then proceeded to say a bunch of horrible shit about our relationship, how it was already over there was no point trying, I would be happier fucking other people. I cried and hyperventilated all night and sent him to a friend's in the morning. I should mention that I am the child of a really nasty drunk who used to say horrible things and not remember anything in the morning. This experience really really triggered me.
I've had several lesser unpleasant experiences with him while drinking, and one major one where he made a friend's partner cry in front of a huge group of people while drinking at a beer garden. In that situation, what the person was saying was shitty, and it was okay to call her out, but he couldn't exercise the self control to stop himself from hammering her into the ground about it to the point of tears. This woman is now engaged to his best friend and their friendship has never been the same since this happened. For someone who genuinely is a thoughtful and emotionally aware person, I think he really struggles to read the room. He's very proud of his country, generally stubborn, and politically opinionated and this can be really damaging combined with the communication issues I often experience with him. He is fluent in English, but doesn't understand a lot of nuances (how strong the word "hate" is, for example, or when someone is trying to politely change an uncomfortable topic). All of these traits get a lot worse with alcohol and while I don't think he's an addict, I do think he's shown a few times now that he is an angry drunk, which is very scary to me.
In the morning, he was very apologetic and accepted the blame and said he would take steps to fix this problem so he wasn't drunk like this around me again, but I fear he's damaged a relationship with my friends and housemates, and also with me, in a way that's not easily repairable. We were already struggling, and I was very committed to trying to resolve our differences, and work on our relationship, but I am no longer sure it's worth trying. This is something that will take a lot of time for me to get over, and we don't have that much time together, and we also don't have very much space. He is staying with friends for a few days but beyond that if I can't deal with sharing my room he just needs to go back to his state
Am I overreacting to this situation? Would you try and work it out? I recognize that this is a trigger for me, and maybe I could get past it with time. Our relationship was already a little broken, and now feels shattered. I am so sad sitting here without him, but I am so upset I don't know how to move forward. Is it just time to move on from this? I love this guy so much but maybe I am beating a dead horse here.
Tl;Dr Long distance relationship of ~2.5 years between people from very different cultures is constantly encountering obstacles related to communication, despite a lot of very healthy and honest discussions about it. The communication issues overflowed to my friends and roommates during a party, and dealing with my angry drunk boyfriend brought up a lot of trauma from being raised by an angry alcoholic. Unsure if I'm overreacting or if it's just time to cut this off.

I apologize in advance for the length of this behemoth Story time Reddit: Last night I was chilling at a camp grounds in upstate NYC and this really cute bartender was on her first day ever for the job, anyways I didn’t even notice her until a community dinner at 6pm when she got some food and went to the bar to get ready for the night because us folks at the camp were gonna party till LATE I’m 18M turning 19 and I had aspirations to be a bartender myself in the familiar country of Mexico where my family operates a gin booze business. she 22F just turned and I was eager to Yk like ask her how her first day on the jobs going right? Now I time goes by we all just chilling having dinner and our rolls out some Gigachad kitchen employees with dessert and everybody fiends the fucking ice cream sandwich bars and I hastily think about the fellow bartenders out the back of the building (it’s the girl I’m taking about whose new and one other girl whom is basically her chaperone because they are her aunt) approach the bar with 2 ice cream sandwiches asking if they wanted the last stock of what remained of dessert 😂 they politely decline and I just give them away to my boys and walk back to the main cafeteria area and around 5 minutes pass people start to clear out and I not really a drinker and not of age to drink in the US (although I have been to other countries to bars that you don’t need to be 21 to drink all fine) Sit down at the bar with the 2 bartender ladies, i start yapping about all the musical bullshit I do in life and the video game I’m developing and whatnot and that’s why I came up to nature to record the ambient sounds for my project idk why BUT then when I realize is that the girl whose new’s eyes fixated on me intensely full German stare and I’m kinda intimidated ngl, so ofc as a good bartender would ask, they ask if I want anything to drink and i politely decline because I wasn’t really thirsty 💀 We start to just chat a bit I ask about how their day went and then that’s when I realize the new girl whose bartending it’s her first day and she’s absolutely drunk out the wazoo, I feel kind of bad because she was about to just go take a walk break and I saw she could barely even move straight 💀 so I ask “so what are some good things to do around here?” They reply really excited that before it gets too dark (somehow they say that and it’s already becoming 8:30 and dark at out) I should go to this really pretty creek waterfall and the absolutely double whammy hammered chick volunteers to take me. Now me skeptical af and realizing that either A, she can’t keep her eyes of me because she’s deadbeat drunk or B, she thinks I’m cute and wants to know me this is why she offered to take me to a cool place. I accept and I have to walk this girl out the bar because she’s in heels and bouncing all over the place. We make it to a downhill section we have to cross and I see her struggling and ask if she needs a hand and she hastily accepts, next thing up her arms are basically spaghetti and rolling with the wind as we make it down this hill her holding onto me for dear life. We start to walk a bit and I start to ask the big legal concern questions that us “technically inclined” men ask like “How old are you” “Do you have a boyfriend?” And “Are you in school?” I eventually get all these answers and we by some will of god walk up to an abandoned dark horror movie looking ass tipi (basically this ⛺️ thing for u non cultured swines) for some reason my hood senses start tingling and the white girl slasher film mindset goes into my mind like “Why the fuck am I about to go in there?” But hey YOLO why not go into creepy dark crowded place with drunk girl? We waltz up into that bitch looking like injured bank robbers clobbering all over the ground because the ground muddy and we can barely fit into the small opening of it, point is in there she starts basically interviewing me fucking speed run piers style and I answer being sober decently competent. Me not trying to make her feel uncomfortable turn my flashlight on to scout the area and we realize there’s some makeshift bench in there so we have a seat. She doesn’t like the fact the lights on and then she asks “do you want to kiss” and proceeds to inform me I’m a weirdo for turning on the light. Now I’m like: “ aight what the fuck girl like it’s dark spooky af out the hell u want me to do get mauled by spiders in this Native American trap house? Then Yk me never had a girlfriend and curious accepts her kiss offer and right as we are about to friggin kiss a RANDOM ASS NPC COUPLE SPAWNS IN AND JUST WALKS UP TO OUR FUCKING TIPI! What are the fucking odds bro, like it’s pitch black basically out and I’m in the middle of the woods, now they see us (we look hella sus at that moment) and kinda just walk away after being like “ooooh cool!” But anyways I get a pretty Alr first kiss, get insulted for being a horrible kisser and walk it off quoting myself “Bro it’s cuz I’m a Libra right?” Jokingly anyways we kinda talk a bit she enlightens me on some personal facts and me too, I ask if she’s had a boyfriend and she says yeah I would had asked how many but didn’t weirdly enough and she’s asked me then if I had ever had a girlfriend and I respond honestly that nope I haven’t and she doesn’t buy it, she thinks I’m lying. She then proceeds to ask me how tall I am and me being a tall ass mf for my race i respond “6 foot 3” and she’s like DAMNNNNNNN ewwww. I’m dying of laughter and ask what’s wrong. I never get a response 😭 Anyways she then decides to empty her pockets and she came for some reason with basically a mythical rarity load out of pocket loot. 2 Cinnamon booze plastic shots, lip gloss, chapstick and a cart. Now me being the worlds biggest glorified coward who never smoked and almost never drinks was amazed she had all this shit on her. I ask her how much she had to drink tonight and she told me how for every drink she served she also drank (idk why tf weird flex but ok?) we then kinda decide to go out of the tent because all of a sudden she wants to explore the pitch black woods when we both have very little phone battery left for flashlight. I think in my sober mind that’s a horrible idea and I remember in the back of my mind we had to be back in an hour from like 8:30pm and I remind her assuming she will have it into account but fail to realize SHES DRUNK AF AND CANT PROCESS SHIT!!! Anyways we walk around the creek bed and eventually we have a seat and just weirdly enough lay down watch the stars and talk about romantic stuff, she is very kind all of a sudden and we are just laughing wholeheartedly and enjoying ourselves and occasionally she tries to sloppily kiss me and I’m kinda just laying there like : 🙃. But yeah we there doing all that and then she somehow convinced me to do shots of the weird spicy booze she brought and I was very nervous and almost about to fully fold because I had a lot of important things in my life impending in the coming days and I didn’t want to fuck something up being drunk (not knowing myself if I’m a lightweight or heavyweight drinker) We each do one and I’m kinda there lying paralyzed and shivering in my boots not because of the alcohol but because of the nerves I am chilling with a girl on a beauty of a night next to some lovely sounding creek noises and making out. Me being the newbie I am just go along with anything she says or does because I’m not trying to blow what I have going Yk. But yeah time passes we just there on essentially natures lawn hugging and kissing and talking about cute life aspirations and then I have to break the hard news to her, I inform her I won’t be staying around long by any means ( I leave the next day back to da hood for school) and I feel so bad inside! Like this girl even age difference aside whatever was very kind and I didn’t want to ruin what we had going so I try and explain how I would try to visit her and later the next day I am able to check that tickets cost roughly $50 for one ways to the town she lives in and takes 2 hours and a half something if me for love I was able to do im down ig… Now as a recap: She knows I live super duper far away, She and I both understand we don’t want to ruin what we have and we are trying to see how we can keep this going. I hear someone scream her voice and then I’m like Awww shit ur in trouble right? I check my phone and it’s MOTHERFUCKING 11PM!!!! I’m like OH SHIT WE BEEN GONE A WHILE DAMNNN, I pull her up off the ground and try to get her to her aunt who I assumed was looking for her and then we sadly said it last farewell quickly. She kisses me and then she gets yoinked and chewed tf outta by basically her big auntie bartender me feeling horrible and all because I was so immature not checking the time, I walk up to her to take responsibility for the situation and not be a beta male type character she asks me all of a sudden if I’m “ok or hurt” and I say yeah I’m fine and then she walks away and for some reason my good manners and habits kick in as I quietly shout “good night” and she shouts back “yeah good fucking night!” Slams the door with my newfound friend and they both gone. I feel real bad for the situation but hey it already happened, and I then find out from some of my fellow campers that she was threatening essentially to call the state police because people have gotten lost in the woods but in my head I’m like NUH UH I GOT S TIER GOD MEMORY!!! Anyways I do have the girl I was withs number I message her apologizing for not being more responsible and whatnot and then a lot of time happens from there on. I go to bed at 1:30am, wake up the next morning at 6:57am and I’m worried because she hasn’t responded. I paranoid and feeling like a hopeless romantic sit around stressing for hours until BOOM I get off a call checking up with my moms who was out of town get a message from my dear bartender girl! I’m beyond ecstatic and try to see if we can say goodbye because I have to go so soon that same day (today as I’m writing this) we try to compromise and plan but sadly it doesn’t work out for us and we just don’t get a well deserved farewell. I feel truly defeated and depressed about it and people I’m with are speculating how I have barely eaten in all the hours I have been up today. I reply it’s that m stresses but don’t go into detail trying to avoid ancontroversial discussion. This girls name is Sofia and I as I hope a constituted decent person hope I can keep this relationship but there are a few obstacles. 1, she lives 2 hours best case scenario from me. 2, she doesn’t really answer my messages until very late after I send them (for example i message her 12:30 she responds then doesn’t respond until past 5pm same day) and It’s hard to have a relationship with flawed communication I can see. Now for me I have always wanted to find love but never really succeeded in it and I’m truly just grateful for having any experience like this at all and I want to hear feedback from fellow guys and girl as to what I should do to keep this a respectful and responsible relationship you know?
Sincerely and looking forward to feedback, K

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/brokenheartedsister
My (26F) fiance (28M) slept with my sister (32F). Heartbroken and devastated. I can't move on.
Thanks to u/Choice_Evidence1983 for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, betrayal, self harm, depression, property damage
Original Post Nov 27, 2015
Hi Reddit. I'm posting here in the hope that someone can give me some advice, share their experiences, I don't know. I'm just completely at a loss. I feel like my heart has been ripped out.
My fiance (let's call him Jake) and I have been together for 7 years. I don't know a life without him. I met him at university, we stayed together past graduation, and moved into a flat which we bought together 2 years ago. He proposed last summer and we were set to wed in July 2017. We have had very few problems until now.
My sister (let's call her Sara) is an extremely volatile person. Growing up, I doted on her completely but she had a lot of personal issues that made our home life turbulent. Her childhood was very different to mine. My parents had very little money, they were on the brink of a divorce, my dad was physically violent on a number of occasions. Whilst things improved drastically in the years after I was born, she has an abundance of problems that stem back to this. My parents feel a lot of guilt about Sara's upbringing, and used to let her get away with some shocking behavior.
Sara had the same boyfriend for as long as I can remember (they dated from when they were 16), and their relationship was toxic. They habitually broke up and got back together; when they were good, they were crazy in love. But more often than not, she would have these insane arguments (sometimes physical) with him then take out her frustrations and despair on myself and my parents. I remember spending many nights lying by her side in bed while she cried so hard she would retch. After their arguments, she would throw plates and glasses at the wall, hit herself. Sometimes she would hit me and my parents too. It was like he was a drug to her, and she was emotionally stunted and didn't know how to see anything past their relationship.
2 months ago, her boyfriend called things off for good. I don't know what gave, but after nearly two decades together, he finally had enough. He booked a one way ticket to another country, changed his number, deleted all social media profiles, and essentially disappeared from Sara's life. To this day, she still won't explain what caused this, but it was long overdue.
To say Sara was devastated is an understatement. She moved out of their shared rented apartment, and in with my parents. I would visit her most days after work, where she would flit in between explosive rage to an almost catatonic silence, staring at the wall with tears streaming down her face. At one point, we were all extremely worried she might seriously harm herself and organized for her to see a therapist (something I had suggested for years). Of course, she backed out days before her appointment, and there were no consequences. She is, after all, a grown woman. She just hasn't changed emotionally in the entire time I've known her, and still acts like a teenager.
2 days ago. I went to visit Sara, who was in bed in her darkened room. I let myself in and attempted to speak to her, telling her about my day at work. She immediately exploded, screaming at me, throwing her pillows across the room, crying uncontrollably. She told me life was unfair. That I had everything and she was left alone to "rot". That everything wrong in her life was because she was a bad person. She hurt her boyfriend, she drove him away, she's ruined our family, she fucked Jake and didn't even feel guilty at the time. I initially thought I'd misheard her, but then she said it again. It was like she had poured a bucket of ice water over me.
I silently left, shaking. When I got home, Jake was there watching TV. It came out of my mouth the second I saw him, and I could see in his eyes it was true. He broke down, and told me it had happened 3 years ago. Sara had had another blazing row with her boyfriend and decided to drive round to Jake's looking for me. I was at our parents at the time and Jake attempted to pacify Sara. He comforted her while she sobbed in his arms, and one thing led to another. They had sex.
I packed an overnight bag while he followed me from room to room, sobbing and telling me it was the worst mistake of his life, that he still has no idea how it happened. That he felt unbelievably guilty the second it was over, that it feels like it wasn't even real. I left him in the doorway begging me not to leave.
I've checked into a hotel and have switched my phone off. I don't know what to do, who to tell, where to begin. I feel sick, like this is a bad dream. My heart feels like it's been ripped into a million pieces. For all of Sara's faults, I love her more than anything. It's the two people who are more to me than anyone else in the world.
How the fuck do I move on from this? I feel like I'm in a bubble. I don't know what's going on in the outside world. All I do is cry and sleep in this room. Someone please help me make sense of this.
tl;dr: My volatile sister recently went through a break up after a 16 year relationship with the love of her life. She is severely depressed and almost catatonic; I went to visit her one day only for her to explode and tell me she slept with my fiance 3 years ago. He admitted it was true and I haven't spoken to a soul since. I have locked myself in a hotel room with no plans of ever coming out. My heart is shattered into a million pieces and I don't know what to do.
Update Nov 29, 2015
Hi everyone.
I logged on this afternoon to find 300 + replies and messages to my post. I am unbelievably touched by the all people who reached out to me, particularly fractalfay's incredible response which spoke to me on a level I didn't think possible from a stranger. I'd like to thank each and every single person who took the time out of their day for me; I was so overwhelmed that I've not responded to a single one as of yet but it is truly truly appreciated.
Now onto the update.
It has only been a day or so since I made my post, but it feels like I'd been in that hotel room for weeks, crying in the dark buried under the covers. At some point this morning, I decided to draw the curtains open and let the sunlight in. I went and sat on the balcony and switched my phone on for the first time. It started ringing within 30 seconds. It was my mother, who burst into tears as soon as I answered. Her and my parents had obviously been desperately worried (this is the longest I have ever gone without contact) and had even contemplated calling the police had I failed to contact them by this evening.
My mom informed me that as I was walking out of Sara's room, down the stairs, and out the front door, Sara was screaming and wailing that she's sorry. Funnily enough, I didn't hear this. I don't know how. I think I was in such a state of shock that I couldn't process anything around me. Honestly, I can't even remember the drive home. After I shut the door behind me, my mom (who was the only other person at home) rushed into Sara's room to find her trashing her room and attempting to slash her wrists with a blunt lino cutter of all instruments (Sara used to do a lot of art). Obviously, this barely caused a scratch but jump started my mom into action. She drove Sara to the hospital, where I understand she underwent some sort of assessment and was kept overnight. She has, incredibly, agreed to undergo treatment for whatever it is that is wrong with her. My mom was surprised she was so complaisant on the drive down, willingly entering the car and saying nothing other than asking where I am.
Sara seems resigned and completely deflated; my mom spoke to me at length for the first time in my life about the hardships they had undergone during Sara's childhood. I am unwilling to go into detail and am still in shock about some of the things I heard. Sara is not devoid of responsibility; she has long surpassed the age where she can blame her childhood for her behavior, but my mom admitted through tears that not sending her to therapy at an early age was the biggest regret of her life so far.
I asked my mom if she knew why I had left; she admitted that she had known SINCE SARA'S EX LEFT TWO MONTHS AGO. At this point, I had to struggle not to hang up and I suddenly felt myself going back into that pit, but she begged me to listen. After her ex Harry (I am too drained to invent a name...hi Harry) left, Sara told my mom exactly what had happened. It was not the reason for Harry's departure, although he did know about it. Rather, he had had enough of being Sara's carer, and years of begging her to seek help had fallen on deaf ears one too many times. When Sara informed my mom, my mom told Sara I have to know immediately. Sara refused to tell me, and I still don't know why she changed her mind in that moment. My dad doesn't know for anyone wondering, and thinks I've left as I've also finally had enough of Sara's behavior.
Now here is where the home truths came out. I asked my mom if she knew the details. She was reluctant to tell me anything, stating that it had happened and that was all I needed to know. But I told her I refused to step foot in the house until I knew everything. She then proceeded to tell me that a few months before they slept together, Sara and Jake had kissed at my dad's 60th birthday party. It was a large family gathering with a lot of alcohol involved. I remember Jake getting very drunk with my cousins. Sara had a crying tantrum prior to arriving as her and Harry had an argument and he refused to come (she called me sobbing before she arrived). At some point during the night, Jake asked her if she was okay and hugged her, and once again "one thing led to another" and they shared a kiss in the kitchen. Sara told my mom that they were both immediately remorseful and vowed never to speak of it again, but Sara deliberately sought him out the night they slept together knowing he was unlikely to turn her down. She openly admitted she did it to get back at Harry, who had cheated on her during one of their many infamous breaks. I don't think I even entered her thoughts.
At this point, I'd heard enough. We'd spoken on the phone for over four hours and I felt mentally drained and physically sick. Any hope I had of salvaging my relationship with Jake has completely gone. I feel the last 3 years have been tainted by their betrayal, and the many years before that I wonder: did he like Sara this whole time? Part of me doesn't even want to know.
It's worth noting he has made absolutely no attempt to contact me other than a single TEXT stating "I'm sorry. Take as long as you need". As if it's inevitable I will come back to him.
Things are still up in the air. I don't feel ready to check out of the hotel as I don't know where I'm going to go next. I feel my relationship with my mom has been rocked by these revelations. I don't know what's going to become of Sara. I have no idea what I'm going to do about me and Jake's flat, where I'm going to live. I don't even know if I have a job anymore. I just haven't showed up to work.
But I know the truth and the smallest part of me is grateful for that. The rest of me is consumed by a pain I never imagined possible.
I guess there's nothing else to do now except wait and see how things unfold. But reading through your comments and messages have been more help than you can imagine, thank you thank you thank you.
And for anyone who has have ever experienced symptoms like Sara's, or has been around someone who is so visibly troubled, I beg of you: seek help before it's too late.
tl;dr: I had a four hour conversation with my mom, who not only knew about Sara and Jake, but informed me that they had shared a kiss a few months prior to the event. I am still in the hotel, still heart broken, and have no idea what to do next. The only saving grace is that Sara has agreed to treatment and will not be in my life for the foreseeable future.
Final Update Dec 26, 2015
Hi everyone!
I thought I would make a final update (to my original post and update) as I received a lot of messages over the last few days wondering how I am over the holiday period.
Once again, I'd like to thank you all for the outpouring of support I've received over the last month. The number of messages, links to help, and offers for a shoulder to cry on were overwhelming and touching. I apologise if I never got round to replying to them all, the last few weeks have been a blur. But I am eternally grateful nonetheless.
So, after my conversation with my mom (where I found out she had known about Jake and Sara) I went back to square one. I switched my phone off again, and retreated back into my hotel for a further 5 days. From the comments on my last post, I should clear up one thing: my mom hadn't known about Jake and Sara from the very beginning. Rather, Sara had told her about it at the time of Harry's sudden departure (meaning she had known a couple months before I did).
Eventually, I decided enough was enough and decided to call work. My boss wasn't angry, or even surprised, to hear from me. My mom had called him after our conversation and told him there had been a family emergency and I would be unavailable for the forseeable future. He advised I take to the end of the week, but would have to come to a meeting if I required any more time off work than I had already given myself. So my job was safe(ish) and I'm back at work and trying to get on with things.
After this, I went back to my parents. Sara was also home but holed up in her room. I went in to see her and she was up painting. As a number of you guessed, it is likely she has BPD, although my parents are waiting on a second opinion. She is going to counselling weekly, and seems slightly better. She broke down in tears when she saw me and we had a long long talk, where she spoke to me in depth about how truly consumed she was by her and Harry's toxic relationship. She understands it's for the best that it's over, but she describes the pain as "unrelenting: it hurt when he was with me, and it hurts now he's gone".
I know alot of you will feel disappointed that I haven't cut her or my mom out of my life for good. I still feel resentment in the pit of my stomach when I think about it, but truly, I blame Jake more than anyone else. Jake was with me for long enough to see some of Sara's behaviour. She's not well and he still chose to do what he did. It is a slow process, but she's my sister and I can't cut them out of my life forever. It will never be the same again, but maybe that's a good thing.
My dad, who had been newly informed on the proceedings, drove to my apartment and gathered some clothes and an overnight bag. Jake was not home, and my parents have not heard from him since I left. I have no idea where he is, and neither he nor his family have attempted any contact with me since this came out. His social media profiles have disappeared, and I have not attempted any contact with him, his family, or his friends. I began the slow process of telling my friends last week. I did not explain what happened, other than to say Jake was not the person I thought he was. They have all assumed cheating, but there is no reason for them to know who was involved.
I have switched back and forth between staying with my parents and sleeping at my apartment. I sleep on the sofa bed as the memories are too painful at the moment. I am in the process of looking into selling the place, however, this means contacting Jake at some point in the near future as the apartment is joint owned. I will cross that bridge when I feel a bit stronger.
Christmas day was a strange and sad one for both myself and Sara. But we spent it as a family, and for the few hours we were sat around eating and watching movies the pain was dulled even a small bit. As we were flicking through the various movies and TV episodes we'd recorded, I came across a scene that stuck with me, a scene that ended with the words: "la familia es todo".
I still spend most days with a hole in my heart, it hurts more than anything I've ever felt in my life...but it's getting better. I know I've got a long way to go, but for the first time I'm confident I'll get there.
Thank you for reading and here's to 2016.
tl;dr: Jake has disappeared without a trace. Sara is in treatment. My heart still hurts but I'm finally starting to get better.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I've been in my step kids lives for about 10 years. I am by choice child free and will remain that way. I was very distant for a long time early in the relationship... It just made more sense for me and our situation. I would see them but not regularly. Never imposed myself in their lives, was just there in the background. About five years ago we started doing more regular family stuff - swapping holidays between my family and with his kids. I moved in to his house about 3 years ago. The SKs are older, 21 and 18. The older one lives with us during the summer when not living in the dorm. The younger one lives with her mom about three hours away and just graduated highschool. We went to the graduation and took all of the pictures. I didn't need or necessarily want to be in the pictures. However, once the daughter got all of our photos from the weekend, she made a post on Instagram. I made the graduation post. Pictures of her and her mom, her and her dad when she was younger, pictures of her and her boyfriend, her and her brother when they were younger, and one of me, her, and her dad. I'm there, with all of them in a post symbolizing a right of passage reached by her.
This is probably the smallest, simplest, symbolic thing, but it means more to me than I ever thought it would. I don't even think I would have cared if she didn't include me... But that she did... ❤️

I'm new to poly, about 6 weeks into dating a partner that I think has taken on too much too soon. My partner Cinder is a lovely person who I've been friends for about 10 months. They're partnered with a married couple, Rio and Tea, for 3 months in addition to having a boyfriend, Kanvas, of 5 months. It's a lot to adjust to, but I really care about them and I'm down to try. I interviewed my poly friends, took notes, read a lot, watched some videos, and prepared myself as best as I can.
This weekend, the entire cule went to an event 1.5 hours away to support Cinder. They'd said they would be going back home alone that night, even though Tea and Rio wanted to spend the night with Cinder, in an attempt to avoid showing favoritism. We had lunch, dinner, hung out, and at the end of the night, Cinder invited all of us back to their apartment. I was a little surprised and confused. Kanvas had to leave, but Tea, Rio, and I expressed interest. I thought it could be good for us, enjoy talking with Tea, and if I'm honest, would've felt left out if I just went home. Before plans were finalized, Rio declared they wanted to go and didn't want to stand around the parking lot any more. We split up to drive home, Cinder getting a ride from the married couple back to their car.
I drive for over an hour without hearing about the night's plans. I gave Cinder a call. They answered laughing with Tea and Rio in the background. The call ended mysteriously for some reason. They called back. They were still in the car at the parking lot more than an hour away. They confirmed that I was alright and after listening to Rio go on a laughing rant about how they thought I hung up on them and were so worried I was mad, I gathered they'd had a big relationship talk and arrived at a better place which was good. I frankly don't care much for Rio but was glad they were feeling better and that the cule was more stable, but also felt pretty uneasy that plans had changed and that I wasn't told.
I told them all to drive safe, went home, and sat awhile trying to process my feelings. Cinder let me know they were on the way home and I told them to drive safe. At 2 in the morning, they texted "I is home safely." I was in bed and didn't reply.
This morning, Rio messages me on discord that he'd gotten food poisoning from dinner and thrown up a bunch, especially at Cinder's apartment, which means they'd all gone home together. I think he was trying to bond over humor.
I was pretty hurt and angry. Cinder invited me to go out today and I declined politely. They've got a performance improvement plan scheduled for tomorrow and I don't want to stress them out while so many things are falling apart in their life, but I feel like this was a breach of my boundaries. I've emphasized several times to them that I don't need to be #1 in their life, but especially won't be deprioritized for other relationships except in cases of emergency, or if there's communication beforehand. I feel like I was underhandedly disinvited and neglected, and possibly misled on purpose.
Thing is, if they'd told me what they wanted to do, I 100% would've been in support. I've told them if they need to dedicate time to their partners, I can be flexible, but giving me a heads up about plans and expectations is important. What hurts is that I don't think they even considered my feelings, and am afraid that they were intentionally vague about their return journey home, or that they had gone back with their partners. It feels like a secret, and I don't know what to make of Rio's random discord message this morning.
6 weeks in, I have a feeling that poly is actually doable for me, and that I've been able to overcome jealousy and maintain good communication, but this relationship just isn't going to work. I love Cinder for sure and many of their actions show they deeply care about me, but I'm consistently getting hurt in ways that seem avoidable from a thoughtful partner. I don't think Cinder has any idea I'm upset. I'll talk to them about it this week when things are a little calmer and they don't have this PIP looming.
It just fucking sucks, feels like this might just keep happening forever, and eventually I'll exit the relationship for my own wellbeing.

My boyfriend and I are going on our first overnight trip together for memorial day weekend. We're not exactly Rockefellers, and he really wants to go to Cades Cove, TN, so we're going to Gatlinburg. If I'm on vacation, I love places with a beach and/or cultural and historical sites to visit. I love him, so I can suck it up and go hiking for a few days, but it looks as though it's going to storm for our entire trip, and I already feel like the weekend is ruined. If you're not familiar with the Gatlinburg area, It's in the Smoky Mountains, so it's perfect for outdoor lovers like him, but he doesn't like touristy/tourist trap type things... which Gatlinburg is also filled with. And said touristy activities aren't exactly the cultural enrichment I'd enjoy either.
Because he's busy with work, I'm usually the planner for these things. I'm at a loss trying to come up with things for us to do. How do we get through the weekend without fighting because neither of us are happy. And how do I plan more trips for us if our vacations mean one person sacrificing their interests to make the other happy? Or am I making a mountain out of a molehill? I should note that he's interested in Savannah or the Outer Banks later in the summer, where I'm sure we'd both have a great time, but I don't want this trip to sour vacations for us as a couple.

Hi okay I'm very emotional right now so this might sound like rambling. work with me here. not saying anyone's ages.
My roommate (f) has recently started seeing this new boy. They've gone on a few dates to test the waters and they call almost every night. I (nb) already don't like this dude because I grew up in school with him and know that he's a little pos. She just met him though, and sees the good in him.
I love that she's finding people, especially after her last few boyfriends, but truth be told I'm trying to stop this before it gets too far because I know him as a lil shit. Is that selfish of me? Probably. But I want her to be with someone better than him.
I was beside her yesterday night on a call with him and his friend. They were chatting and he was honestly making my opinion of him better, until we got to the subject of non binary/trans people. As you read, I am non binary. Truly I don't like labels and tend to just say I'm trans, but for the sake of clarity, I'm nb. I use they/them and I've met a lot of people recently who can't really tell if I'm a girl or a boy. It's a little painful but it's whatever.
My roommate brings up non binary people casually and this boy goes (as I recall, not perfectly quoted) "Y'know I find it so stupid that they call themselves non-binary. They just put themselves into their own binary! Can they not see that?!"
It takes me so off guard that I can't even say anything. All I can do is gesture from my roommate to the screen with a shocked look in hopes she picks up on what I'm feeling. But in the times where she muted herself and I explained it to her, she just said things like "whatever" and "okay okay" and whatnots. She went on in the conversation without acknowledging the comment or saying anything.
When they ended the call, I tried explaining in detail to her why the comment had hurt me. She didn't understand and when I asked if she would talk to him about it, she said she wasn't going to, that it didn't matter, and that she didn't want to start a fight with him. She also told me that it just means he needs to learn better, to which I asked her from who and when. We never really got to a conclusion.
I don't know what to do. I want to trust her and back her up if she does confront him, but I can't do that if she's choosing to disregard what I'm feeling in place of not wanting to have a disagreement with this boy. I also don't understand why it has to be an argument, I imagine it would just be "hey me and my friend didn't like what you said yesterday about nb people, could you not say anything like that again please?". If he says "no fuck you" then that shows his true personality, if he says "okay I'm sorry" then I'll know he didn't mean it and that he's really kind like she says he is.
(Also, the reason I want her to talk to him is because she has his contact information while I don't.)
I talked to another one of my trans friends about it and she also took great offense to what he said, so I'm wondering if this is a "trans people get it but cis people don't" situation. But am I overreacting? And what should I do, if anything?
Again, sorry if this sounds like rambling. I can clear things up in comments if questions are asked. I would appreciate answers from trans people but cis are NOT excluded from this conversation.

This girl, let’s call her Emma, only joined our friend group because I had set her up with my boyfriend’s college roommate. We had always had mutual friends but were never that close. At one point she suggested we become roommates, and while I was initially excited, I learned she was applying to be an RA so I declined because I did not want to be left searching for a roommate last minute. Little did I know, that this would have caused her to possibly not like me. It first started small, I have ASD and am sensitive to loud sounds. Our friend group would hang out and play card games and she would yell and become extremely competitive so much so that I decided I would avoid playing games with her altogether and not say anything. Then she would only be kind to the guys in our friend group, particularly my boyfriend. She made comments about how she was so short and wanting to compare hand sizes with my bf. I felt uncomfortable but shrugged it off. One day, a couple in our friend group asked me for help as her boyfriend didn’t know what to get her for Valentine’s Day. I asked my boyfriend to help him and thought that was the end of it. Later, as I was sitting with another friend group Emma was in for lunch, she criticized me for being pushy and getting involved when I wasn’t asked to. I corrected her but was weirded out that she would bring that up in front of so many people. My boyfriend this entire time was encouraging me to not judge her as maybe she didn’t mean to do these things. At other lunches, she also would criticize her boyfriend and my other friends to her friends who didn’t know them that well. I was extremely uncomfortable and decided to schedule a group talk so we could fix this situation. Everyone in the friend group talked about their issues with her and gave her the space to explain and address her issues with us. We asked that she at the very least address the issues with us first before talking to people we didn’t know. She agreed. The next day however she came up to me and listed more issues she had with me that was all from her eavesdropping so almost none of it was accurate. She suggested I was homophobic even though I am I have expressed to her multiple times that my sexuality is complicated as I am attracted to women but have been SA’d. She also started faking ASD I had previously told her my symptoms. For instance I struggle with change, like a routine, and can get overstimulated. She then lamented about having to change her wallpaper. The next night she started hitting herself and acting dramatic to Lofi music when I have seen her listen to it before. She then threw temper tantrum on the floor for two hours claiming that her routine would be changed When previously, she had done something similar and did not act like this. My boyfriend even took note and said he was uncomfortable. As someone who has this disorder, I was extremely upset. Then everything sprung out of control because my friends were continually telling me things she had said about me. One day somebody came up to me and told me she was cheating and flirting with other people. This person lived in the dorm beside her and showed me a screenshot as proof. However, the profiles were removed, so I couldn’t determine if it was her or not. Being worried about it I asked some of our mutual friends if they knew anything. I maybe shouldn’t have at this point. I was worried about her boyfriend. In the end, we told the boyfriend that we didn’t know for sure but someone had mentioned cheating. I couldn’t give her the benefit of The doubt anymore. Soon, there was a miscommunication and she couldn’t go to an event. My friends are planning event event. at that event, one of my friends male ended up, kissing her boyfriend. This was because of jokes they were continually making and wasn’t serious at all. In fact, both of them were dating women. If anything, she was encouraging these jokes and said quotation marks on multiple occasions that they should kiss. my other friend took a picture and sent it in the group chat after asking Emma‘s boyfriend if it was OK. She stopped talking to us after that point. I asked her friends if they knew anything about this and expressed confusion relating to the situation. I sent a message and asked her if she could talk to us about why she was upset with us as she had already talked to her boyfriend. After 24 hours and much debate , I sent her a message and said I no longer wish to continue our friendship, but we did not need to make it a serious big issue and I would just prefer if we dropped it and didn’t have any ill feelings toward each other, and talk about each other badly. She screenshotted this message and sent it in the group chat. She then attacked me and said that we were never her friends and said that I had called her homophobic, toxic, and said a wide variety of things that I had never said to her about or to anyone before that. I soon noticed were people were ignoring me because of this. I only corrected what she said to the people I cared about and tried to ignore the situation. I don’t know what to do as she is actively trying to destroy my life.

Ill try to keep this as short as i poetically can without disclosing too much personal info. For as long as i can remember, ive had a crush on a boy my age, lets call him green. Green and i had known eachother since primary/middle school and met through a mutual cultural dance club. When i was younger, i didnt have alot of friends due to intense bullying taking place at my school for how i acted and dressed. Going to that club made me feel like i didnt have to act differently because nobody i knew from my school went there. Thats how i met green. He was so kind to me and we became really close. Hes bring me personal belongings to show me, carry me around on his back and always wanted to meet outside of dance. He was a lot bigger than me despite being the same age, but i didnt care because i really enjoyed his company and he did mine. He gave me a nickname i still cherish to this day but cant say here just in case. Point is, he was the one that pushed me out of my shell to go and talk to other people, where i met some of my very clowe friends to this day. I only got to see him so much, so i made sure to remember every small thing he did for me. In my second year of being his friend, the pandemic had hit and we lost connection due to my technology acess being little to none. When the pandemic was over, it had been 2 years since id seen him and his memory was very faint to me. However when dance re started, all i wanted to do was be beside him. This is when i mess up. He was alone and all i wanted was to talk to him. But, my whole soccer team had decided to join that exact dance club that year. I thought itd be rude of me not to hang out with them as i see them more than i see green, so i chose them over him. A desision i regret to this day, because most of those girls turned out to be supper mean to me forcing me to quit. He deffinitly wouldnt want to talk to me after that stupid stunt, and i totally understood. This is when he started hanging out with some older kids, one of them well call doe. Doe was your steryotypical beautiful white girl with glistening blonde hair, deep blue eyes, a voice as pretty as a princess and a personality more pure then a diamond. Shes litterly the nicest person ive ever met and shes so genuine. Green would go and hang out with her every day, doing things like bringing personal valubles and carrying her around just like he did to me. It made me jelous for no reason and i hated feeling that way. He would always hang out eith his older friends untill it was just him and doe. By this point i knew i really liked him but i wasnt sure if i just wanted to be friends or pursue a relationship. I was always running into him at places such as school greets, soccer tournys or just walmart. Our dance has levels based off age, and he was allowed to move up to high school level before we graduated elementry due to his height. This is where i stand now, were all in high school and i see him more often. I consider myself an artist, and he is my only muse i catch myself constantly drawing. I get lost and mad at myself when i cant draw him as perfectly as he deserves, weather its his slightly large hooked nose, his small light brown eyes, his perfectly large smile or his two beauty marked perfectly alighned under his eye just like mine. Recently, i found out him and doe were dating. No supprise obviously lol, i was just in denial for as long as i could. It started as both of them getting roles in the dance as lovers beside the obvous height difference (hes 6'0+). However, the dealbreaker had to be when we were at an end of year party to celebrate the dance and i had caught them mid makeout. Being upset was an understatement. Ive tried everything not to like him because i feel its wrong of me to intrudeof their completly perfect relationship. But i cant seem to distract myself from him because hes so perfect in every way and every time i try to move on i end up finding people who look exactly like him and it brings me back to squaire one. I cant talk to this about to my friend because all they say is to move on but its so hard for me because i think i love him truly. Thats when i come to this post. I know its ok to have feelings, but am i being too selfish over their relationship to a guy i barley interact with? I promised myself if i were the cause of any harm in their relationship id kill myself but i still end up fantasizing his beautiful smile. Am i being selfish, do i really want to talk to him or do i just wish we were friends again? Please be honest and give anny suggestions on how to go about this. Be harmfull if nessisary, i need to face a truth. Thank you for reading, sorry if i yapped or if theres spelling mistakes. Again, please be brutally honest if needed ❤️❤️

My (30f) boyfriend (30m) made plans a while ago that him and his future significant other would buy a home with his family. He currently lives with his family. He use to live on his own but moved in with family once his dad left his job and they asked the kids to move in with them to help with expenses. At the beginning of us dating, I expressed that I want to purchase a home with him and live on our own. He told me that he wants the same.
Lately his family has been pressuring him to go back to the decision they all planned saying that it’s not fair because they all agreed to move in together at first. They also told him that they overheard a conversation that we had where I asked for reassurance that he would get his finances together and move in with me (this conversation was had after he informed me that he would be staying with his family for one more year so that he can get his finances together) and that’s when they started pressuring him to change his mind again. They tried to spin it as if I’m making him make the decision to move in with me.
His family has terrible money management and always has issues with paying bills. He always tries to save money because at any point, a large bill will come out of nowhere requiring him to put money toward it. The family completely lives about their means with them living in a nice house and having nice cars that they can barely afford. On top of it all, we get no privacy as you all see. This is a deal breaker for me. How do I go about handling this?
TL;DR: Boyfriends family pressuring him to keep his word and maintain living with them instead of living on his own with me.

Two months have passed since I accepted my bisexuality. I have kinda known it for I had some same sex crushes over the years, although I always denied it until that one drinking game with kind and accepting queer friends. Everything is kinda new tho, also the bi cycle hits really hard. But I'm genuinely happy and I love myself for the first time in my life. :) I think about my previous 'straight' life sometimes. Like the fact that I remember that I had those crushes that I wouldn't have called crushes until my coming out to friends, and about how I would always be ashamed when anybody was talking about the gay community in a slightly negative manner.
Well, that life wasn't straight at all... the thing is, on top of feeling shame about my hidden sexual orientation, I had a single "fetish"? (I don't want to offend anybody, I just don't know if that's the proper word or not for what I have/am) That was crossdressing. I did it since I was 14 or so, and I even fantasized about it sooner (like 11-12). It turned me on sexually. I revisited it... still turns me on sexually. I think what the hell, I can't be trans, I wouldn't like to be trans :( at least not in Hungary. Even bisexuality is a pain in the ass here. And there's no kind of hormone therapy or else that would turn me into a beatiful woman since I'm a hairy, dad bodied guy flooded with testosterone.
The previous line of thought also suggests there's a chance I might be because I was like that (no way I can be queer) until I accepted I'm bi. However, I theorize that it all was a way to live out my bisexuality. Now I think it's a way to live out my submissiveness for men. And how I look when dressed as a woman doesn't matter, only the feeling, like satin, skirts, dresses and how the bra holds my man boobs, it feels really sexy. On the other side of things, if there was a magical pill that would turn me a hot biological woman for a certain period of time then I know I'd spend all my weekends as a woman. However, I could never say goodbye to my penis or beard forever😂 I could to my body hair, I would dig a laser therapy and I also would shave. Plus I know I would be happy as a woman too but I'm perfectly happy as a man who occasionally likes to try on bras, panties and dresses for fun.
For the coming out part: You know, hungarians in their fifties (like my parents) are usually homophobic as hell. Mine are only mildly homophobic. That means, they belong to the 'middle class' of people who say things against gay parent rights and pity Freddie Mercury about his unfortunate death. However, I'd take my chances because for years - dorm life in high school and uni's first year - I have been quite distant from them. I feel like I'm a double agent and I've had enough. I want a real, supportive mother and father from whom I could take advice in life's most private matters as well. I want what I feel I almost never had. I also want them to be a friend of mine. I won't tell my mother, she's too damn obstinate and seems to think what she says or does is always right. My father is a really good man I look up to: kind, always correct with people and always supportive of me. Now I'm at home but tomorrow I'll leave for uni (like 300 km) for nearly a month. I plan on telling that I'm bi, right before I leave, only to him. Tbh I fear he won't take it well and I just know he needs some time to digest all I will say. But now I don't need to tell him, I mean I don't yet have a boyfriend. But it will be easier if I do now, so it won't be so shocking then, IF I am by chance I settle for a guy. The only thing that bothers me is I don't feel that I can fully be myself at home and with them.
The bottom line:
So I'd like to seek out your advice. With all I've said, am I just a bi guy with a crossdressing fetish/femboy/egg?
Should I tell my father I'm bi and if yes, how shall I start? I get that he can only accept but not understand and this is sometimes even harder for fathers.
I'm sorry for the tangled up pieces of thoughts I have scraped on a sleepless night at four a.m. And for the long text as well. I'd really appreciate if you read it and helped. Plus, I don't know whether I should use the NSFW tag or not. For now (until you say otherwise) I'll keep it off because this way I might be able to reach out to more people.
Edit: Satirically, pardon me for my poor usage of the english language.😂 I feel that I must, like I'm too queer not to✌️🏳️‍🌈 (don't know which flag I should also use rn)

sorry for how lengthy it is!! anyway as the title says, my boyfriends family wants to move to the beach (about a 5-6 hour drive from here) sometime within the next couple of months. my boyfriend and i have been together for just barely a year, and they want me to come with, but my family doesn’t want me to go. to be quite honest, i don’t want to go either but my boyfriend says we have to break up if he goes and i stay, because he doesn’t wanna do long distance.
when the move was brought up initially, my boyfriend (20) said that if i (19) couldn’t go, then he wasn’t gonna go either. he told me he’d find a place to live in the area, but within just a day of finding out this news he already wants to move to the beach for a “change of scenery.” i’ve already asked my parents what they’ve thought of this, and they don’t think it’s a good idea. i have yet to get my drivers license (which is thankfully in the works at least), i’ve also never had a job, i’ve never been so far from home, never moved, and moving so far so abruptly would be quite the change.
my boyfriend has essentially been dogging on my parents the entire time, and the only good point i think he’s made is that they’ve lived their lives (my parents were quite old when i came into their lives) and i’ve never even been to the beach once, never traveled, etc. adventuring would be nice, but i don’t think this would be the way to do it. with all of this info, my boyfriend has been saying that my mom is just a pushover and that i should leave since my father is quite emotionally/verbally abusive to me and my mom doesn’t do anything to help. he was also saying pretty mean stuff about my siblings since they turned out pretty bad.
in my head i feel like part of me wouldn’t mind going, but i know deep down id get horribly homesick without my cat (his dad is severely allergic, i wouldn’t be able to make any accommodations), and i’ve also never lived anywhere else except the house i’ve been in today. i struggle even having sleepovers cause i just keep thinking “damn, i miss my cat! i miss my own pillows! i miss privacy!” and moving here means id be rooming with my boyfriend constantly, and constantly being around his large family.
idk where im really going with this, im having a hard time thinking on my own because this has all been dumped on me so fast. i just dont know if its worth it? what to tell him?

When I look back at my life ever since my first traumatic event when I was 12 years old, most people that were in my life, both friends and boyfriends, were taking advantage of me emotionally, physically, even me doing basic errands for them. I noticed of all people in their life I was usually the first person they turn to when they needed something, even when they had people that they were much closer to. When they didn't need something and just wanted to spend time with someone or invite someone to do something together I was last person they would call.
I keep thinking why is that? Do I give a vibe to everyone around me that I'm kind of person anyone can take advantage of and does that mean there is something fundamentally wrong with me?

The episode resumed on a shot of Zee and Jo, their skin tones back to normal, running up to a smiling Chris. "Welcome back," he told the camera. "Zee and helper Jo are the first to arrive here, at the world's largest mud puddle!" The camera pulled back, revealing that the trio was standing near the edge of a large lake of burbling mud, a measuring stick rising out of it at the nearest edge.
"It's eight feet deep," Chris explained over a close-up of the measuring stick showing the mud reaching up very nearly to the 8' mark, "and 200 yards across. And," the camera quick-panned to the far right side of the 'puddle', "since it's too thick to swim through," the shot cut back to the couple and Chris, "the only way to the other side is with one of you piggybacking the other."
"Umm...," Zee said hesitantly, sharing a wary look with Jo, "doesn't that mean the person on the bottom..."
"Will drown?" Chris finished. "Yes."
"What?!" Jo said in wide-eyed shock.
"Unless they use this garden hose!" Chris added, a light chime playing as he held up a length of green hose.
Zee let out a breath. "Okay then. Guess I'm on the bottom, then."
Jo's eyes widened a bit in a brief bit of surprise, and she looked at her partner. "I should be objecting to this since I'm supposed to be the helper, but hey. No heavy lifting from me."
"Yeah…" Zee agreed half heartedly.
Confessional: Zee
"I was able to hold Jo onto my back while we were skiing," Zee told the confessional. "I can still do the same while under mud."
Confessional Ends
"I know that I said you were weak in the past," Jo said, "but that was until I saw that you were able to make it this far in the game."
"You thought wrong about me," Zee replied. "I wasn’t active at first in challenges and finding food, but with Julia eliminated, I was able to grow and become a finalist."
Chris suddenly stepped between the two. "How touching. Now start the challenge."
The scene cut to Zee and Jo jumping into the mud, the former disappearing below its depths while the latter, on his shoulders, held up the length of the hose. They started moving forward, and the camera panned back to the left to show Harold, Scarlett, and Chris holding up another length of hose.
"Yeah, I'll be on top," Harold stated.
"Pardon me?" Scarlett countered, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't trust you not to let me drown," Harold told her. "Self-preservation comes first."
Scarlett groaned. "That's fair," she said, taking the hose from Chris, "but if you let me suffocate, I'm dragging you down into the mud with me."
"Crustal," Harold deadpanned, and as Scarlett crouched down, she jumped onto the brainiac's shoulders. Scarlett stood back up and put the end of the hose in her mouth, and she jumped into the mud.
The tense music faded away as the camera moved onto Chris, the host sighing as Chef walked up. "You think the mud was a bad idea?" Chris asked. "It's a little quiet… oh yeah," Chris said as if in sudden realization, "almost forgot about the Peanut Gallery. Bring 'em back in!" he said into a walkie talkie he only then pulled out.
Moments later, the wind kicked up around them, and the camera zoomed out to show the large helicopter flying in with the former contestants still hanging – and screaming as they swayed ominously – below it. "Would you let us down already?!" Leshawna shouted angrily. "It's freezin' up here!"
"Yeah, I want to cheer for Zee!" Julia chimed in.
"If I wasn't tied up right now, I'd have half a mind to pound you!" Duncan shouted at the host.
The camera focused on DJ. "Hey, Chris?" he looked forward and asked loudly. "Just bring us down before anybody else gets miffed at you!"
"No, and I don't care," Chris answered with a calm smile, until Chef whispered to him. A flat note played over a close-up of Chris staring blankly at him. "Huh...good point," he admitted. "Ooh!" he said with a sudden grin. "I just had an idea!"
A flash took the scene to Zee and Jo, the tense challenge music resuming at a low volume and slow pace in the background. They were still slogging through the mud, Zee out of sight but Jo only submerged up to her stomach. She looked back over her shoulder, smiled, then said "Keep going!" into the piece of hose she was holding. "They're way far behind!"
Confessional: Zee
"So as it turns out," Zee said, "being submerged in the mud is kinda like being trapped in the dark. But there aren't any animals below to scare me."
Confessional Ends
The music ramped up as Jo suddenly stopped moving, then seemed to turn around and start moving back towards the start. "Uh, Fruit Loop?" she asked into the hose. "We're going the wrong way!"
The camera cut to Harold, looking somewhat bored as he held the hose atop Scarlett's shoulders, before noticing the other team and frowning. "Why are they coming this way?"
"Ugh! They're too safe to sabotage each other!" came the sudden voice of Chris McLean, the camera cutting to him standing in the show's jeep with Chef at the wheel, speaking into the microphone of the jeep's loudspeaker. "Deploy the 2.0 model!"
The shot cut back to Harold and Jo as they looked around with strange expressions, the sound of something like a rocket taking off coming from somewhere in the distance. They looked up and to the left, and the camera shifted to their viewpoint to show a large object shooting up through the sky overhead...
...then abruptly diving towards them, revealing itself as a red-eyed robotic bear with small jet engines coming out of its back. Harold and Jo screamed as their respective partners continued in their previous directions, getting out of the way as the Bear landed in the mud. It hit with enough force to cause a wave of mud, which shot all the way across the puddle carrying the finalists and their helpers along for the ride. All four immediately began to cough upon landing in a muddy heap.
Confessional: Harold
"At least I have a better shot," Harold said. "We're tied right now, but who knows what other tricks Chris has up his sleeves."
Confessional Ends
A close-up of the nozzle of a fire hose in Chef's hands preceded him blasting the muddy finalists and helpers with water, all four screaming where they'd landed on the shore of the 'puddle'. Moments later, the water was shut off, leaving them drenched but clean.
"We're all tied up," Chris announced with a smile. "Perfect time for a little break. First, let's bring in the Peanut Gallery again." He took out his remote and pointed it at a patch of ground nearby, a hole opening up in it and a rather shoddy-looking set of stadium seats shooting up out of it with the ten former contestants seated – and still tied-up – in it.
"Sha-finally," Lightning said, the shot cutting to him sitting in the top row with B, DJ, Duncan, and Max and Leshawna, Ella, Julia, Sammy, and Amy in the bottom row. "Are we gonna get to watch the rest of the challenge now?"
"Yup!" Chris answered with a happy smile, pressing the button on his remote again so that a large widescreen television emerged from another hole in the ground near him and the finalists.
"Will you untie us too?" Ella chimed in.
Chris huffed. "Whine, whine, whine," he said in annoyance. "Don't I do enough for you kids as it is?"
"No," all fourteen of the season's cast members replied at the same time.
A flat note played over a close-up of the host pursing his lips. "Yeah, I owe Chef twenty bucks about that," Chris said, the camera zooming back out again to show the finalists and helpers. "Everyone, grab a seat," he instructed, and the four reluctantly sat down on the logs lying behind them. "I'm gonna show you some of my favorite clips from the show..." He pointed his remote at the TV, and the shot focused in as it switched on and started to play footage of a confessional...
"Dunderhead was already pretty useless," Jo complained. "But now he's making moves on one of the actually decent players on the team? Not on my watch!"
The camera cut in close to show Jo pausing and looking back. "Something on your mind, Anti-Squeakerbox?" she asked, the camera shifting to show B peering at her and shaking his head.
“It's not what you think it is," Jo told him. "As long as they are on this team, Julia and Zee will not date."
“Not exactly how I wanted the elimination to play, but hey. Julia’s gone and with Zee still in the game, I could manipulate him into doing whatever I say,” Jo grinned.
The footage paused, and Chris leaned out in front of the television with a wide and mischievous grin. "Seems like there isn't a shipper on deck…" he said impishly.
"So you were trying to keep me and Julia apart?" Zee said as the camera moved to him and Jo, his eyes wide with shock. "Does this mean that...,"
"Yup. I convinced Julia to quit," Jo replied. "I didn't expect her to fully go through with it since I was gonna vote you out!"
"I can't believe you'd try and do that!" Zee said with a glare!"
"If I didn't do what I did, then you two likely would've blown challenges for us like the dueling one!" Jo argued back.
The camera focused on Julia in the Peanut Gallery. "I was trying to defend my boyfriend, but sure," she said dryly.
"I'm just worried what Chris is gonna show from Scarlett," Sammy said. "It looks like he wants to mess up the finalists and their helpers..."
"Maybe he won't show anything?" Amy suggested. "I mean, it's not like Scarlett and Harold were that close to begin with."
The shot cut back to a smiling Chris. "Oh, don't worry, I have no intention of leaving those guys out of all this fun," he said happily.
"I don't see how," Scarlett said. "Harold already knows everything about me now. I’m practically an open book."
Chris laughed. "Seems you forgot that the cameras are always on. So here's some more juicy information that everybody gets to hear." The screen on the TV went from static to a scene from the fifth episode.
Scarlett herself grabbed the dueling stick Ella retrieved, fished an electric eel out of the water, and tossed it to Max. "Max!" she cried, and her teammates looked at her in confusion, prompting her to pretend that she had coughed. "Pardon me!"
“The plan was for Max to be the only one not in the trap, so the team would know he built it and vote him off!” Scarlett confessed.
"I overheard Leshawna and Harold's conversation when they were foraging together, and Leshawna being on to me is something that I refuse to let happen," Scarlett claimed. “Zee's really gullible enough to deceive, and I'll try to talk to Ella.”
A deep, dramatic note was struck over a shot of Harold in shock. "So it was you who got Leshawna eliminated!" he scowled in Scarlett's direction.
"I wasn't ready to come out just yet, and between the two of you, you were less likely to warn anyone about me!" Scarlett retorted.
"So all this time, Scarlett was aiming to usurp her master!" Max ranted.
"I don't blame her," Leshawna commented. “As much of a pain as she is, I would've done the same thing and sent your annoying behind home.”
"Okay," Chris said happily as the shot moved onto him, "I'm sensing some major hostility and I'm liking it. I'm out of popcorn, though, so we should probably get back to the challenge."
"Seriously?!" the finalists and helpers alike exclaimed.
"Obviously, the helpers aren't gonna be very helpful anymore," Chris replied. "So, instead of helpers, Jo and Scarlett will now be hinderers." As he spoke, Chef walked back into view with a pair of video game controllers, tossing one each to Scarlett and Jo. "The island is now back online," Chris continued, "and, with these controllers, they will be able to throw up obstacles to throw you down, or, completely crush you."
The shot cut to Scarlett as she looked at her controller and smirked. "Good to know."
"Looking forward to it," Jo said in determination.
Harold and Zee gulped, and Chris laughed. "That was the good part," he said. "Let me tell you the bad part. You have ten minutes to finish this challenge," he told Zee and Harold. "If neither of you do, Scarlett and Jo get to split the money."
"Dude, what?" Zee said in shock.
"You can't do that!" Harold protested.
"I can! I will! I am! GO!" Chris announced, blowing his airhorn right in Chef's face, earning an annoyed sigh from the man. Harold and Zee immediately ran off, but the camera cut to a close-up of a thoughtful Jo.
"Well...I want the money, but I'm not really comfortable with how this is set up," Jo said to herself. "But...I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I just made this a little more challenging for them..."
"Do what you want," Scarlett said, the camera panning over to show her grinning darkly with her controller in hand. "I'm getting my justice."
Confessional: Jo
“And I thought I was an underhanded person,” Jo mentioned to herself. “Velma has less morals than me and Gnome Master.”
Confessional: Scarlett
"I was snubbed in the last episode," Scarlett confessed. "And now that I've been given permission, I can stop the finalists from winning without getting electrocuted!" She pulled out the remote from the seventh episode. "I don't even need this device. I have a controller to do the job for it."
Confessionals End
A few quick drum taps opened up a deep and dangerous challenge theme, the scene returning to Zee and Harold sprinting across the open field only to gape in shock as the pine trees in the background starting launching like rockets.
"What the heck?" Harold said. "Rocket trees?"
One landed right behind them, forcing both finalists to roll forward out of the way. "This island is wild!" Zee cried as the two continued running, more and more trees landing behind them like massive spears.
The two were shown together in a brief close-up, raising their eyebrows in surprise. A quick-pan ahead revealed the landscape changing, trees and rock formations rising up out of the artificial ground to form a large, dense barrier.
Harold jumped ahead of Zee as they climbed over the first big rock formation.
Zee vaulted downward and dashing forward along a lower 'path' among the rocks. Just as he was about to jump down onto grass, however, a boulder shot upward – and he landed on it groin-first. A close-up showed him letting out a high-pitched squeal of pain.
Harold's wince drew the camera's attention back upward to show him leaping from a boulder and grabbing onto the branch of a tree, only for the tree to suddenly shoot back down into the ground – causing him to yell as it dragged him down and slammed him back-first onto a fallen log.
Zee gave him a quick concerned glance as he jumped onto the same log, then upwards onto a rock formation before climbing onward and to the right and out of sight.
The scene cut back to the hinderers, both still working their controllers with Scarlett still looking considerably happier about it. "No need to change what works," Jo said uncertainty.
"What happened to that cutthroat attitude you've been displaying?" Scarlett asked. "Don't throw it away when I can get something out of it. And lower some of those trees. They're giving them too much cover from this storm I'm whipping up."
The camera panned onto the monitor to show Zee and Harold struggling against a powerful wind as they walked through what looked like a dense forest as leaves, dust, branches, and various small woodland animals blew past them.
A focus on the monitor's screen transitioned the scene back to the challenge. "I think...I can see the finish line in the distance," Zee said, pausing for a moment as he struggled against the intense gale.
"They're not making this easy on us," Harold commented.
The pair briefly passed behind a thick and mossy pine tree, the camera zooming in slightly as they reappeared. "Would you?" Zee asked.
"...I guess not," Harold answered after a moment.
The shot cut back to the Peanut Gallery to show them watching with worry and anticipation. "C'mon, Harold," Leshawna spoke. "Just hang in there."
"I know you can win this, Zee," Julia said. "You deserve it after everything."
Then the camera cut back to the hinderers, Chris standing next to their monitor with his hands behind his back and a smile on his face. "Ooh! They're getting close!" he said excitedly, prompting Scarlett to scowl and Jo to frown.
Once more the scene moved back to the finalists, their arms raised to buffer themselves against the winds – snow beginning to fall and lightning beginning to crack in the background - with Harold in the lead. "Two minutes left!" Chris called out over the island's loudspeaker. "Two minutes!"
"I...," Harold said with glee. "I think I can make it!"
"Not if I can help it!" Zee shouted, speeding up as the dense trees around him and Harold began to recede into the ground – and the tense and dangerous challenge music resumed. "If I win, me and Julia can go out and change the world together."
"I have to win this," Harold told him. "I've been undervalued and looked down on by my peers, friends, and even my family. I need to prove my might."
The snowy ground below their feet began to crack. A hollow sound played, then all at once, the ground shot up under them, earning startled yells from both. The shot soon cut to the new peak they were standing on rising up into the sky, then stopping.
"Drats..." Zee muttered, both finalists looking down with wide eyes. his final word echoed as the camera zoomed out, revealing the snowy mountain they were now at the top of.
The Peanut Gallery was shown gasping, as were Jo, though Scarlett was smiling as their misfortune. "Twenty seconds left...!" Chris said as the camera moved on to him looking at his watch.
The shot cut back to Harold. "I guess it's over," he sighed. “Scarlett wins after all.”
Zee noticed a bulge in the snow beside him. The boy shoved his hand into it and pulled out the phone Duncan stole from Chris. "I don't know how this got here, but we have to get down. Start stomping the ground."
Harold nodded and stomped on the ground at his feet, and after a few cracks, Zee hurled the phone down, breaking the device apart. Their eyes widened as the mountain began to crumble under them, and the ground imploded in on itself.
"Six! Five!" Chris began to count off, the music cutting out save for a single plodding note to highlight each number. "Four!" The camera panned onto the television, showing both finalists tumbling through the snow and rock. "Three! Two! One!" The shot cut to the finish banner, then zoomed out to show the avalanche stopping just under it – with neither finalist in sight. "GAME OVER!" he announced, blowing on his airhorn as a subdued but triumphant riff played.
Jo stood up in surprise, and Scarlett started cheering.
"My mission was a success!" Scarlett said in victory. “Now hand over my well-deserved prize!”
"Congratulations Jo and Scarlett," Chris said with his usual smile. "Revenge is sweetest-" he glanced at the monitor- "ohhhhh, what have we here?" he said with a sudden look of shock, the music cutting out as he pointed at the television screen.
A sharp note played as a familiar hand stuck out of the snow lying just past the finish line and waved. Scarlett's jaw dropped in shock, and Jo let out a sigh of relief.
The scene cut to the finish line, the camera pulling back a little ways as Chef walked up with a stretcher, dressed as a female nurse. Leshawna ran onscreen and pushed him out of the way. Chef flew off frame with a shout, and Leshawna grabbed the arm and pulled, freeing a shocked and snowy Harold from the aftermath of the avalanche. "Oh," he groaned, looking around as Leshawna dropped him on the stretcher, "what happened?" he asked as the victorious music began to play again with much more enthusiasm.
"You won, Ginger Baby!" Leshawna answered with a smile, the camera pulling out even more to show Harold looking back at the finish banner.
"I did it!" Harold said excitedly. "Harold Norbert Cheever Doris McGrady V has claimed victory! Boo yah!" he raised his arms and cheered, the shot cutting away to show all of the Peanut Gallery cheering.
“We weren't able to talk to each other as much, and it's clear we like each other as more than just friends, but how about we hang out a little bit back home and see where things go?” Leshawna suggested.
“As long as we don't rush into a committed relationship, I'd like that,” Harold smiled back.
The camera panned to the left to show Julia frantically pulling a dazed and half-conscious Zee from the rest of the avalanche, and picking him up onto her back.
"Julia," Zee said weakly, "I'm sorry that I-"
"Be quiet," Julia said with a weak smile as she carried her boyfriend over to the stretcher and set him down next to Harold. "You need to rest."
"But-" Zee tried to say.
He was cut off by Julia grabbing his head and kissing him full on the lips. "You didn’t win the money, but we can still provide for the world in our own ways, and with the power of love," she said with a smile as she broke the kiss, leaving Zee looking dopey.
The capstone theme began to play as the footage skipped ahead to a shot of the open sky, the double-rotored helicopter soon flying up into view. "That's it for this very, very off season," Chris began, standing in the open doorway with Zee and Julia sitting on the edge letting their legs dangle freely with Julia leaning into Zee; Harold and Scarlett standing on either side of Chris, the latter annoyed and the former grinning while holding the suitcase full of money to his chest; and the rest of the cast, crouching down and peering over in the gaps between and behind the rest, constantly jockeying for position as they tried to get one last shot of themselves on camera.
"This is Chris McLean, saying if you can't stand the pain-" the handsome host continued, the shot cutting in closer- "stay off the Total! Drama! Paaaahkitew Island!"
"RE-VENGE!" Max suddenly yelled from behind Scarlett, shoving her out of the helicopter, and the brainiac screamed as she fell.
The camera lingered on the dumbfounded looks of Chris and the other ex-campers, all of them staring at Max in shock. "This is how a traitor should be rewarded," he said, crossing his arms and closing his eyes defiantly.
The ex-campers and host burst out laughing, and a fun and energetic tune started to play. The camera panned over to the windshield to show Chef laughing along with the rest of the cast from the pilot's seat, and the helicopter flew away.
The music soon faded away, though, and the scene quick-panned down to show a screaming Scarlett landing in the giant mud puddle. She quickly surfaced with a shocked splutter, and pulled herself out onto dry land. "How am I going to get home now because of those imbeciles?!"
A few ominous notes were struck, and a ferocious growl caught Scarlett's attention. She looked up, and the camera zoomed out to show Scuba Bear 2.0 standing over her, eyes red. "Heheh," the brainiac laughed nervously. "You're not going to hurt me are you?"
The scene abruptly cut outward to the full long-distance shot of the island, the ominous music ending as Scarlett's scream and Scuba Bear's snarl echoed across the lake.
(Roll the Credits)
Lightning - 14th
DJ - 13th
Amy - 12th
B - 11th
Julia - 10th
Max - 9th
Leshawna - 8th
MERGE
Jo - 7th
Duncan - 6th
Ella - 5th
Sammy - 4th
Scarlett - 3rd
Zee - 2nd
Harold - 1st

Boys: Harold, Zee
Episode 13: Lies, Cries, and One Big Prize
"Previously, on Total Drama. Zee, Scarlett, and Harold created their own challenges!"
"Zee went with balancing, which bit big time for Scarlett and gave Harold the shock of his life."
"Harold's treetop race was more entertaining than a sawing monkey. Surprisingly, Scarlett won the challenge, and Harold fell from grace and the trees."
"So, it all came down to Scarlett's challenge: a trivia challenge about the former competitors. Zee didn't have too good a start, but quickly earned himself a spot in the finale."
"It all came down to a final question, and one that Scarlett ironically got wrong. Bye-bye!"
The montage ended with a flash, showing a close-up of Chris in front of a bare rock wall. "Down to two from three," he said, holding up three fingers but lowering one of them, "cause now we're Scarlett-free. But," he lowered another finger, "it'll still be neat to see who gets beat," he punched his open palm. "So! Grab a seat. There's one million bucks on the line," the shot cut to a robotic arm lifting up the open suitcase full of prize money against a radiant orange-and-gold background. "Iiiiiit's finale time!" Chris said as the shot cut back to him.
"On Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"
(Theme Song)
A deep note played as the episode opened on the bunker, the sky dark and the crickets chirping. A deep sigh issued forth from it, and the camera soon cut inside to show Harold tossing and turning in his bed. He got up and grabbed a pillow from the bed above him and closed his eyes with a smile, only to open them and sigh again.
Confessional: Harold
"It's no use," Harold sighed in the confessional. "I just can't get to sleep. I'm too anxious about tomorrow. I don't know if Zee is having the same trouble as I am..."
“It’d be cool if I win the last challenge. Just think about how much better my life would be. No more wedgies, wet willies, and toilet face plunges, my peers would respect me more as a million dollar winner, and I can invest the money in a way that’ll make me more than the show has to afford.”
Confessional Ends
The static cut away to show Harold turning his back to the camera with another sigh, then the shot cut to the inside of the barn to show Zee sleeping peacefully and snoring rather loudly.
Confessional: Zee
"This is a high stress situation, but I’m able to get some rest in order to ease it," Zee explained. "Even if it’s a million dollar competition against Harold."
Confessional Ends
An angelic sound played as the shot returned to a close-up of Harold, his eyes blinking blearily to sleep as the light of dawn streamed in through a window high on the wall above him.
Just as he and the music seemed to reach a peaceful rest, the wail of an airhorn pierced the walls and forced Harold back into wakefulness, his eyes snapping open wide and bloodshot. "Harold and Zee," Chris announced over the camp loudspeakers, the screen splitting in two with a shot of the good vibe guy blearily waking up sliding in on the left. "Meeting area, now!"
The scene flashed to Zee and Harold standing before Chris in the open meeting area. "Yes! Today, I fire one of you from a cannon," he greeted excitedly. "And then start my vacation."
"Plus you'll hand one of us a million dollars," Harold added with a grin.
"I haven't forgotten, dude," Chris said in annoyance. "I'm just focusing on the parts that bring me the most joy. Okay?"
"What's the challenge?" Zee asked. "Is it physical or have you decided on something else?"
Harold grinned. "Total Drama finales are always physical," he said. "And while I am classified as a brain, I'm afraid I have more fighting skills than you."
"Don't get too overconfident just yet," Zee warned. "I might surprise you."
"If I may continue?" Chris interrupted, his annoyed expression soon dropping. "Your final challenge is so demanding, the lawyers insisted each of you get a helper. Ehh," he shrugged, "it's not a horrible idea. I mean," the shot cut to the finalists as they watched him, "maybe they'll be able to help us find your bodies!" Zee and Harold shared a brief but wary look. "So, which of the past contestants would you like as a helper?" Chris asked, stepping over to them.
Confessional: Zee
"I'd prefer Julia," Zee told the outhouse camera. "She's really rad, and we work well together. But I wouldn't be too upset over having anybody else as a helper. Well, except for Scarlett."
Confessional: Harold
"It's no surprise that I'd prefer Leshawna over anyone else," Harold confessed. "She can handle her own battles and objectively speaking, she is the most physically attractive girl this season. I just wish that we were able to talk to each other before she left."
Confessionals End
"I choose Leshawna," Harold said with a smile as the static cut away and a triumphant tune played...for a few brief moments.
Chris chuckled. "'Choose'?" he repeated, laughing again. "Nooo, no no no no no no no...," he told the finalists.
"But you just asked us-," Zee pointed out in confusion.
"I know," Chris conceded, "I asked you who you wanted, I did that to be mean." He laughed again as the sound of squeaky wheels approached. "Your helpers-" the camera pulled back to show Chef pushing a large widescreen monitor up to the host on a cart- "will be selected thusly! When you press this button," he held up a remote control with a single red button on it, "the possible helpers will flash across the screen." A game show jingle played as the shot cut to the monitor, now showing the portraits of the eliminated contestants rolling down across the screen as if on a reel. "Whoever's face it stops on, is your helper."
The reel stopped on an image of Scarlett after drinking Juggy Chunks. "What happens if we land on someone we don't want?" Harold asked.
"You each get one chance to pass and spin again," Chris answered with a wide grin as the sound of a helicopter grew louder. "And just to make things even more interesting," he added, growing more and more giddy with each moment, "I've brought all the helpers out to watch!"
"RELEASE ME, YOU CRETIN! I DEMAND IT!" shouted a familiar voice.
Harold and Zee gasped as the music spiked, and the shot cut to the same dual-rotor military helicopter that Chris and Chef had taken shelter in during the island's malfunctioning as it flew in overhead.
Then the camera panned downward to show the twelve eliminated campers dangling under it tied up in ropes – Max on the far left, then Amy, Sammy, Duncan, Ella, B, Lightning, Scarlett, Julia, DJ, Leshawna, and finally Jo on the far right.
"What's the big idea, McLean?!" Jo shouted hatefully, the shot cutting in close to her and Leshawna.
"Yeah," Leshawna chimed in, "why do I gotta be hanging next to her!" The two girls locked eyes and glared.
"I don't think that's the issue here..." DJ said, the camera panning onto him.
"I personally don't mind being tied up like this," Julia said in a positive tone, the camera pulling back to show her smiling. "I'm just happy to see my boyfriend in the finale."
"I didn't even want to show up, but I would appreciate it if I was actually seated," Scarlett said in a grumpy tone.
"Sha-yeah!" Lightning agreed as the camera panned onto him. "Chris, these ropes might cause Lightning some bruising. Can we get them loosened a bit?"
Scarlett gave Lightning an incredulous look. "You do realize that if the ropes are loosened, you'll fall?"
"Lightning will just get back up again," Lightning told her obliviously.
The camera cut back to B. It lingered on him for a few moments as he awkwardly looked from side to side, then directly at the camera as he smiled coolly.
"Despite this drastic situation we're in," Ella sang after the song panned to her, "I still want either Zee or Harold to win~!"
Another pan to the left showed Duncan watching her. "My money's on Harold," he said, shrugging.
“And how come?” Ella asked.
"Zee's cool and all, but I just know the dork better," Duncan answered.
"Really?" Geoff asked, raising a eyebrow in disbelief. "Are the shows in Jersey really that terrible to watch?"
"They are if ya don't have tickets!" Anne Maria answered happily.
Yet another pan put the focus on Amy and Sammy. "Are you still not going to apologize for how you've treated me ever since we were little?" Sammy asked.
"And why should I?" Amy replied in slight irritation.
"Because I put you in your place and pointed out your own flaws," Sammy explained. “The least you can do is be humble a bit.”
"You may have gotten further than me, but you still didn’t win the season," Amy bragged. “You're a bowl of mush, and I'm a parfait, which is French for perfect.”
“So what's French for bossy blonde cow?” Sammy taunted with a smirk. “I know! Vache blonde autoritaire!”
"You are so going to get it," Amy growled.
The camera pulled back to show Max clenching his eyes shut in pain. "Would you two identical ladies cease that annoying racket?!" he finally yelled with another force to startle Amy and Sammy into looking at him. "Thank y-" he began to say plainly before Amy smacked him in the head. "Hey!" he said, cringing at the hit.
"Okay," Chris said, the music turning slow and plodding as the camera cut back to him, Zee and Harold. "Now that the Peanut Gallery has had a chance to reintroduce themselves, let's move on."
"Whoa, hold on a minute," Zee held up a hand to interrupt. "Why? How? When?"
"Uh, you're gonna have to be a little more specific there," Chris told him, raising an eyebrow.
"He means why are they all tied up?" Harold translated.
Chris let out a long, irritated sigh. "Fine," he said. "I'm keeping them tied up and in plain sight so we don't have them float towards the sun, okay?"
"No," Harold said bluntly.
"Not really," Zee replied.
"Whatever," Chris told them, his brow creased in annoyance. His expression then changed into a smile. "Who goes first will be decided by a coin toss," he explained, taking out a coin and flipping it towards the campers.
It hit Zee in the eye. He yelped in pain, rubbing where he'd been hit.
"Zee wins!" Chris happily announced. "Let's see who you get," he said as the game show jingled played again.
The shot cut to a close-up of the monitor as the portraits began to scroll past, Zee uttering a series of grunts as she watched off-screen – some hopeful, some annoyed. "Okay, stop," he said after a few seconds, the camera moving to him as he pressed the button on his remote.
The simulated reel stopped on Jo. "Not who I wanted at all," Zee said in disappointment as a triumphant jingle played, "but I got what I got and I'm not gonna throw a fit."
"Harold," Chris said, the camera moving back to the finalists as the dweeb pursed his lips, "you're up."
The game show jingle played, and the portraits started flashing across the monitor again – until they stopped on Scarlett. "No..." Harold groaned.
Confessional: Harold
"I knew the odds of getting Leshawna were slim," Harold confessed. "But I want a helper who would actually assist me."
Confessional Ends
An odd note played as the shot cut back to Zee, Harold, and Chris, the latter two sharing a look. "I'd like to spin again," Harold said.
"Have at it," Chris replied, the shot briefly cutting to the pictures flashing across the monitor again.
Harold pressed the button, and sagged in defeat – and the camera cut to the monitor to show that it had landed on Scarlett again. The camera moved in front of Chris as he gave her a mischievous look. "Scarlett again?" he asked in fake shock. "What are the odds?"
The camera pulled back as Chris turned to the right and nodded at Chef, who returned the gesture and walked away. "Okay, looks like Zee gets Jo and Harold gets Scarlett," Chris said, nodding toward the helicopter. The ropes tied around the two chosen helpers abruptly came loose, causing both to fall, but while Scarlett landed in an awkward flop, Jo simply tucked her legs in and rolled as a light but triumphant tune played.
She got back onto her feet just as Zee walked up to her. "Hey Jo. I know we haven't gotten along-" Zee said.
"-but since we're partners, we're gonna have to try and tolerate each other," Jo replied. "Yeah, I know."
Confessional: Jo
"I'm not in the game any more, which still sucks," Jo explained. "But Chill Pill managed to subvert my expectations. He lasted longer than I thought he would have. And if I have to work with him, then so be it."
Confessional Ends
The camera panned to the right as Scarlett snorted and stood up. "I strongly refuse to partake in this," she said, the shot cutting in close as she brushed the dirt off her shirt then turned around.
She took a step, and walked right into Chef, who snickered and locked a thick metal collar around the quiet brainiac's neck.
"Let me guess. You're going to shock me if I don't play along, right?" Scarlett asked in annoyance as she tugged at the collar.
"You'd think that," Chris said with a mischievous smile, "but this is actually something different. In case you somehow ended up as one of the helpers, I had a special collar made that'll tranquilize you if you don't play along," he finished with a smug look.
Scarlett groaned in annoyance. "Fine."
"Hey, as long as you don't just bail, I'm cool," Chris told him.
"I'm not," Harold interrupted with an angry look.
Confessional: Scarlett
"Unless I want a voltage surprise like the ones I received in episode four," Scarlett told the confessional camera with disgust, idly tugging at the collar around her neck, "I'll help Harold with his goal of winning the one million dollars. That doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."
Confessional: Chris
"Am I full of good ideas or what?" Chris chuckled in the outhouse camera.
Confessionals End
"So," Chris said, the static cutting away to show him walking towards the two pairs. "Reunion's over? Good! It's time for your final challenge. I have endearingly titled it, 'The Double Duo of Deadly Dying Death'!" A dramatic spike in the music, reverberated voice, and zoomed-in and angled shot all combined to make the revealing of the title particularly dramatic.
"That sounds dangerous...," Zee said worryingly.
"It's supposed to be dangerous, Dodo Brain," Jo groaned.
Confessional: Zee
"Now I'm wishing I did use my second chance like Harold did," Zee confessed.
Confessional Ends
"Now since Blaineley snuck back onto the island and changed it completely by wreaking havoc in the secret underground control room..." Chris began to explain.
"Umm, hold on," came the voice of Julia, the camera panning back up to the still-loitering helicopter. "What did you just say?" she asked in confusion.
"Wait, you didn't know that?" Duncan asked. "I knew I was forgetting something."
"Host!" Max interrupted, drawing the focus to the other end of the line. "I demand you explain this!"
"No," Chris replied in a deadpan tone. "As I was saying," he continued, putting his bland smile back on as the background music became deep and tense, "we've yet to explore all the wonderful and bizarre new dangers the island's new landscape has to offer. Until now. Harold and Zee," the shot cut back to the two pairs, "with assistance from your helpers-" Zee and Jo shared a frown while Harold and Scarlett shared a glare - "you will race across the island. First one to cross the finish line will receive," Chris turned to the side and grabbed the prized suitcase from Chef, the music building up grandly as he opened it to reveal its glowing contents, "One! Millions! Dol-lars!"
All four teens started cheering.
"All you have to do is survive a 2000-foot plummet from an ice cliff," Chris joyously explained, the camera cutting to the slender peak of a snowy mountain before quick-panning away, "successfully learn to breathe while submerged in mud," the camera panned across a bubbling lake of mud before quick-panning away again, "and then sprint two miles across a wide-open field where," the shot now panned across a seemingly ordinary and empty field, "I'm absolutely sure no harm will come to you."
The shot cut back to the cast as Chris began to laugh raucously for an extended period of time. "The point I'm making," Chris said once he'd finally finished, "is that there's a decent chance you may not survive this."
Both finalists and helpers groaned warily. Then they were each tossed an orange helmet.
"For the first part of the challenge," Chris explained, "the lawyers insisted you wear helmets to protect your brains." The shot cut to him and Chef. "I mean who knows. Someday, you may start using them." The roar of the nearby helicopter suddenly increased, the added wind whipping up a cloud of dust around the men. "When you get to the top of the mountain, it'd be a good idea to build a bobsled," Chris instructed, "or, it'll be a very rough ride down!"
The show's smaller red helicopter was shown flying over, the larger military one flying away with the rest of the former campers still attached. "Grab a rope!" Chris said, the camera panning down the four ropes hanging from the helicopter to show them dangling just above the finalists and helpers. "Your challenge begins...NOW!"
The four grabbed the ropes in front of them, and to a sudden bit of challenge music and a blast of the host's airhorn, the helicopter flew off dragging the startled teens along with it.
"Good luck! Stay safe!" Chris called out after them. "Are things I'd say, if I cared!"
The footage flashed ahead to the top of the snowy peak, several boxes and barrels of various junk – including what looked like several sets of skis – already waiting at the top. The small helicopter arrived momentarily, and the shot cut to its four passengers landing in the show – Jo and Zee on the left, Scarlett and Harold on the right.
"We're supposed to build a bobsled out of this junk?" Jo asked in disbelief.
"No," Zee corrected as he grabbed a pair of skis, "Chris just said it would be a good idea." He tossed the skis onto the ground and stepped on them, a tense challenge tune playing in the background. "I have a different one, so hop on."
The shot cut to a close-up of Jo grinning, then to her jumping onto the skis behind Zee. "Let's do this!" she said as they began to slide forward down the slope and left the scene.
The camera panned onto Scarlett, holding a pair of skis of her own. "We should get moving!"
"What's to stop me from believing that you won't shove me off the skis?" Harold asked, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.
"I have this wretched collar on. Shoving you is the last thing I want to do. Now get on!" Scarlett told him angrily.
"Fine," Harold said, rolling his eyes and walking over to where Scarlett was already waiting on the skis and got ahead of her. The challenge music rose up again as they leaned forward, and started to slide.
The shot cut to Zee and Jo looking back over their shoulders with grins on their faces. They promptly skied through a tall mogul, slowing them down a little and covering Zee's eyes in snow. "I can't see!" he shouted, clawing at the packed snow as they began to swerve.
"Quick, to the left!" Jo shouted, one hand around Zee's waist and one point ahead of them as they swerved away from the camera around another mound of snow. "Now right!" Jo directed, the two swerving back towards the foreground. "Left!" She shouted, but they just sped through another mogul earning a scream from the jock-ette.
Confessional: Jo
Jo was blue from the cold and shivering heavily.
Confessional Ends
"Well isn't that the best thing that's happened today!" Scarlett taunted as the scene cut back to her and Harold.
"Yeah, well, we're gonna be next if we don't keep dodging these things," Harold pointed out as they began to swerve around the moguls as well. "And I want to try and get ahead of them while we can."
The music ramped up dangerously as the dweeb and brainiac slid towards another mogul. "Left!" Harold shouted.
"No, right!" Scarlett replied, the two leaning to the opposite direction, swerving nowhere, and plowing right through the mound. "Aagh!"
"Scarlett!" Harold growled as they started swerving wildly, snow covering both their eyes. They clipped the side of another mogul, sending themselves into a screaming spin, hit a third mogul, and came out tumbling end over end.
The shot cut to the bottom of the slope, the music leveling off as what looked like a mogul on skis slid down. The camera zoomed in as two patches of snow fell away to reveal Zee and Jo inside, the two moaning and blue in the face. "Zee, we need to move," Jo weakly told her partner, "before-"
A massive snowball suddenly ran them over, breaking the snow but leaving the good vibe guy and jock-ette lying in a puddle of melting snow. A crash was heard off-screen, but the camera lingered in place as Jo groaned and stood up. "Let's go," Jo told her partner. "You're still in this..."
"...yeah," Zee said as he caught his breath. "Yeah!" he said, more energetically this time. "I've got this!" he declared before charging forward, the shot cutting to Jo as she smirked softly then raced after her partner.
The camera followed them along for a few seconds until they reached a heap of snow, skis, and dazed-looking teens, which the shot immediately focused on. "What happened?" Harold shot at his partner, the dweeb lying upside-down half-trapped in the snow. "I told you to go left!"
"And I told you to go right!" Scarlett countered, her head sticking out the right way up but her legs sticking out over it.
"Yes, but I'm the one in charge!" Harold replied. "You're supposed to be helping me!"
"I was steering!" Scarlett said before the snow holding her up crumbled away, causing her to fall over with a startled gasp.
Harold sighed in aggravation before a small pile of melting snow collapsed onto his face.
The scene cut away to show Chris and Chef sitting in lawn chairs eating popcorn as they watched the challenge feed, the host promptly pausing it with a beep and looking at the camera. "This finale's out of control!" he said excitedly as the capstone theme began to play. "Zee and Jo got run over! Harold and Scarlett can't stop arguing! And all of them just plowed through like a ton of snow!"
"Stay tuned, "he continued, the shot moving away but the host quickly popping back up in front of it. "Someone is leaving here a millionaire. It's the finale of Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"
(Commercial Break)

I (22f) had a falling out about 3 months ago with my friend (who I'm going to refer to here as Dylan). We met during our second year of college and formed a really close-knit friend group on campus. Most of us met through one person or another, and we pretty much did everything together. It was also during the first semesters after the covid lockdown. There weren't a lot of people on campus, so we ran into each other a lot, being the only few people around. We had a bunch of game nights, movie nights, etc. Sometimes we'd even hang out at the tops of parking garages for picnics.
Dylan and I started to get closer, since we have a lot of the same interests, like Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel. We also just found it really easy to open up and talk to each other. I told them a lot about my personal life, including some traumatic experiences I had growing up. They shared some of their hardships with me too. We had very different things happen to us in our lives. Even so, I felt like we developed a strong bond and an ability to tell each other anything and everything. I don't know if this might sound weird or corny, but I think of the first half of our friendship as being a lot like the song "Loser Baby" from Hazbin; We each have some bullshit that we carry, but being able to have that general issue in common (who could emphasize with having a lot weighing on you mentally) made me feel less alone. I had someone to lean on for support to keep moving forward.
Dylan wasn't the only person I had a strong, emotional connection with though. Around the same time that our friend group started, I met my boyfriend (24m). He and I are still together, and I feel incredibly lucky to have him. Over the last three and a half years, we've developed an open line of communication and developed a signifcant amount of trust in each other. Even as a long distance couple to start, we always made time for each other to meet up on weekends or call throughout the week. And we still do. And even during bumps im the road, we're very upfront about our feelings, we take fault when we fuck up, and we talk through what we can do to resolve the problem. And we BOTH follow through on what we discussed.
About a year and a half into my friendship with Dylan (which again, was also a year and a half into my relationship), they admitted to having feelings for me. At the time, Dylan said they wanted to come clean about it in hopes that putting it out in the open would help them move on, so to speak. This probably should've been my first red flag, but I repressed the feeling. I didn't want to think that my best friend was trying to break up my relationship. I convinced myself that they genuinely just wanted to get it off their chest because it was killing them to keep such a secret from me.
From that night on, our friendship was very rocky. We tried giving each other space, but being in the same friend group made it difficult. We also didn't want to tell anyone besides a few people. I was especially worried that airing it to everyone could create an even bigger mess. This meant that there were times when one or both of us avoided our other friends altogether out of respect for each other. Which only made us feel more alone, resulting in us hanging out even more to make up for how we felt. I was also very open about the situation with my boyfriend. He was very understanding, more so than most people would probably expect. He knew that we were very close before their feelings were known to me. And he trusted me that I knew what I was doing when trying to maintain the friendship.
As the situation went on though, Dylan's feelings didn't fade. In fact, they seemed to worsen. Our friend group is generally very touchy-feely. By that, I mean we frequently say "I love you" and hug. Some of my friends have even kissed each other on the cheeks or foreheads while we were tipsy/drunk. Sometimes, we would also say "I love you" to one another with platonic feelings behind it. At least, that's how I viewed it for a while. There were some nights, when Dylan would be really upset while talking to me about how hard it was to move on, how guilty they felt because they couldn't help but hold onto hope that I might one day mean "I love you" in a romantic way towards them. They even admitted to holding some anger and resentment towards my boyfriend. All of this, looking back, should have been signs to leave the friendship. I know that now. But for some ungodly reason, I was so convinced at the time that there was still something like a friendship to glean from this. They conveyed guilt and remorse for their feelings, so surely that meant things would get better?
I thought that when I graduated and moved back home, things would get easier. After all, we wouldn't be able to see each other all the time if I had a job and lived a good hour or two from where we went to college..Right? We'd be able to focus more on ourselves. And we could still keep in touch via phone calls or texting if we really missed each other! This is when I started to really notice all that was wrong in our friendship. Our venting in regards to mental anguish and stress became more self-loathing. Admittedly, on both sides. We started talking more to each other about our issues in a venting-while-deep-in-our-emotions sort of way with no balance between that and trying to suggest solutions. Sometimes, I'd try because there were certain things Dylan would tell me about that I knew were beyond the help I could give as a friend. But when I even remotely suggested things like therapy, for instance, they would get very defensive. They said that they tried it years ago and had a bad experience. At the same time, they would also acknowledge that professional help could, hypothetically, be beneficial to them..?
I don't remember exactly when it started, but there were a couple of times while texting where Dylan would just lash out at me. They'd question me for staying friends with them. They more or less told me I was stupid because I was putting myself through so much by being their friend. At one point, I lashed out in retaliation for texting me about their woes only to get mad when I tried to help. We had a conversation in person about one argument in partculiar. We both apologized and agreed to work on our communication with each other.
Some time passed after this. I realized at one point that I hadn't heard from them in a few weeks, which was strange because we had a habit of checking in on each other at least once of week or once every other week. I tried messaging Dylan a few times, but I didn't want to overwhelm them. I figured some time further apart might be for the best. As more time passed, I started to get more worried and decided to call them a couple times. Finally, they responded via text (this isn't everything they said. I cut some of it because it involved personal info):
"It’s not fair to keep you in the dark and it’s much too rude to keep doing this to you. I wish I could excuse it with the really shitty weeks I’ve been having so far, with most of my days being depressed, anxious or worse, and the good days being few and far between. It’s been the case but it’s no excuse for how I’ve treated you in this. Long story short, I’m ignoring you because I don’t want you to care about me anymore. I’ve been a lot more solitary recently and I’ve kept to myself a lot - I’ve realized that I let people in only to refuse to let them help me. But especially with you, because our situation is still complicated to me. I still feel like shit about you - how much I love you, and how much I hate you. I don’t care what your feelings are to me - it’s difficult for me to play around you. Whenever we talk, hang out, or fucking whenever I think about you, I get a twang of happiness and self-hatred. Every little thing I say becomes a mine I throw out in front of me and step on immediately, hoping it doesn’t blow up.... and I know you say what you feel towards me, but god fucking damnit you make it impossible to believe you sometimes - because it hurts to think about. You do, it all does. My constant overanalyzing of other people is one of the main things to send me spiraling. I’ve legitimately thought about cutting off from EVERYONE: so I can always stay stable without having to worry about plans that come out of nowhere; I don’t need to worry about what I say to people I care about; and I don’t have to hurt people I care about. Apathy, while it is a wretched thing, is the place where I’m at my best - playing sports, video games, or otherwise…it’s disgusting but it’s the way it is. I’ve never cared about a thing in my life and I don’t want to completely fuck you over when I eventually stop caring about you.
As I’m typing this, I know I’m dropping a lot of shit on you. There’s no quick answer to this but I wanted all my thoughts down in a way where I can spit it all out without getting sidetracked or interrupted. Idgaf if you read this all or not.... I wish I could say I’m sorry.
I know I may have said before that our friendship will last, no matter the circumstances…but I am, and always have been, the problem. That’s not coming out of a place of self-deprecation, that’s the cold, unfortunate truth.
And...I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I've lost a lot of hope and I know I can't look to you for help anymore - because it brings me more misery than joy."
I had to read it a few times before responding. I didn't try to argue for the sake of our friendship. As much as I wanted it to continue, I knew it wouldn't be okay to force them when they were expressing a desire to separate. But in the same conversation, after writing this out to them, Dylan started to back-pedal. They suggested that maybe we should meet in person to discuss it more. Because there's "more that I didn't know about them". I immediately got suspicious and basically told them to fuck off; If they were done, they should just say it.
I was kinda angry at the whole falling-out for a while. Particularly how wishy-washy they seemed at the end after everything we'd gone through. I didn't know how to feel and I still don't now that I've started to miss Dylan. Or maybe the friendship we had before everything went to shit..? I also can't help but feel like I should tell the rest of my friends about it. But I don't know what they would do. Is it worth saying? Would it be too risky for the sake of our whole friend group? It's eating away at me. I feel as though I'm walking on eggshells every time I make plans with the friend group, because what if Dylan is there? What would they say to me, if anything? Is there anything left to say?

PREFACE APOLOGY: I hate how long this post is, but there are so many nuances that are applicable to the intricacies of my situation - so for best chance of receiving tangible advice, I felt I had to give a good amount info (this is just the tip of the iceberg lol but I'll save the rest for the Titanic)
First: Explanation of title above; I am a first-gen college and current medical student. The relevancy here is I come from low-income and uneducated (does not mean stupid or that you need to be educated to know about financing or alternative solutions at all) parents who don't know much about how to approach finding options as it pertains to either acaedmia or financing
Second: In full transparency, my mental and physical health is hanging on by a thread so while I very much want honesty, any advice along the lines of "you're SOL", "damn that sucks...medicine isn't for everyone", or "it just is what is is", while valid thoughts, would only further harm me right now. So if tangible advice is not feasible, words of affirmation work wonders as well <3 THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR EVEN CLICKING ON THIS AND/OR READING THIS
Situation overview:
Without going into too much detail, I am essentially on what is commonly referred to as a "research year" in med school - which is when you take a year in between the normal four years to do research. This can also be used to catch up on exams, finish academic makeups, or slow down due to life circumstances while remaining an active student. These years are less than half-time where I go, which means that students qualify for zero federal or state financial aid for living expenses. From what I understand, a lot of students traverse this via one of the following: paid research positions (2 birds, 1 stone but extremely competitive and hard to find), financial support from family, obtaining a private student loan, or simply getting a full-time job (depending on if they have remaining academic items to finish first or if they don't want to do an LOA but still need a break and don't have anything academically to catch up on).
Applying above dynamics to my circumstances:
Personally, I had a major med school exam to finish and a couple smaller ones after during said research year. Originally, my hopes and intentions were to do research during this year, but life and changes in school policy resulted in that not being the case. At the start of this year 20 months ago, I was extremely open with faculty about my needing to get a job in addition to these academic requirements, despite our common shared opinion that the aforementioned exam is itself a full-time job and is extremely high stakes. However, since they stated they could not offer me any grants or aid, quite literally having a job was a matter of life or death as I needed to eat and afford stable housing. Flash forward, I began communicating how balancing the two was causing me to be spread thin and I was still struggling financially, which resulted in delays in academic progress in terms of exam readiness. The only advice I was given was taking an LOA (which was so frustrating and hurtful as we regularly get grants from donors) - but I was always so against an LOA for much of this time because this seems to be their solution for everything rather than actually finding tangible solutions and student support (have a cold? Take an LOA. Boyfriend dumped you? Take an LOA). Additionally, I knew while on an LOA I could not finish the items required of me since I would not be an active student - so it would solve nothing while further pushing me behind another year from graduating. Flash forward, I've had 7 months of food insecurity, using food pantries, utilities being cut off, trying to maintain some semblance of self-worth and mental health.....all while trying to be a med student. I also don't feel bad for myself, it sucks, but I'm not new to this, I'm true to this" life lol. I have just been trying to navigate the situation to the best of my ability - because even though I don't feel this way right now - I'm meant to be here and deserve to be here. I have overcome far to much to get here to begin with.
I can't go into why - but essentially, right or wrong, this is make or break for me. And I have 6 weeks to get said remaining academic criteria done (preparing for it is a full-time job). The school has since gotten the year that I'm on to qualify as half-time enrollment status, so students will get aid and don't have the problem I am having. However, this change doesn't apply to me (naturally lol), as it will only be in effect for new students starting out on said year.
Summary/overview of current sitution:

• no guidance or financial support institutionally, but with increasing alluded consequences
  
• family who is helping as much as they can but is also low-income
  
• credit score is poofair range (624 Transunion, 596 Equifax) that doesn't qualify for private student loans (even with a co-signer as my parent also does not meet requirements) or new credit cards + $17 in my account and no additional money in sight
  
• spent the last two weeks looking for remote work I could balance with exam prep, GoFundMe didn't gather much, already sold most of the clothes and shoes I own, can't get paid to donate blood due to anemia that developed this year from food insecurity, grocery delivering in my town earns less than minimum wage with the gas you use that isn't reimbursed
  

What can I do? I am beginning to look into emergency personal loans, but I really don't understand how these types of loans and pay day loans work? Does the APR kick-in after 30 days? If so, if you pay it earlier do you avoid all the APR? How soon can you get these deposited into your account if approved? I'm sure it's all specific to each lender but according to my initial loan match, my APR would be 99% lmao. I essentially only need 2k in personal loans to get me to July and finish this exam. My hope would be to use $200-$300 of these funds to apply for online MPH programs that starts in July (I've always wanted to do this anyways while in med school), which would qualify me for financial aid that I could get in the next couple weeks and then I could use these funds to pay off payday/emergency loans by July - which is when I will be all in the clear and can get a full-time job OR take an LOA without dire consequences academically - and will be able to finish required exam in the next 6 weeks.
Final info is that I asked about taking an LOA given extreme circumstance, and I was told no/that it would not be good in the long term (sort of implying I could get dismissed as soon as I come back for not taking the exam by 6 week deadline)
ANY TIPS/ADVICE ON LOOPHOLES TO NAVIGATE THIS IN ADDITION TO PERSONAL LOANS AND MPH/FIN-AID OPTIONS STATED ABOVE WOULD BE IMMENSELY APPRECIATED.

Why are Vikings built to be annoying; A Thesis by JLNS0KU
This is both a rant and not, as it's a complete introspective into the faction. This will be talking about lightspam as well, something that's a nonissue in this day and age but still exists, but nevertheless, is still apparent with a few heroes due to a number of reasons. Though I admit, there are exceptions to the rule I have established already. The exceptions would be Raider and Valkyrie, who I never feel cheated or unsatisfied if I win or lose against them. I could never hate these two, so my Raider and Valkyrie mains, you are doing great. You heroes could use some slight buffs or nerfs, but for argument sake you'll be excluded. With the two heroes pushed aside, I will now delve into the history of "lightspamming" and deconstruct every Viking hero one by one in order to deduce what makes them annoying.
As I have previously stated, lightspam is a non-issue in today's time in comparison to the past. You see, when For Honor first released, up until the CCU in year 4, lightspamming was real and efficient. Most were 400mls, near unreactable even in today's time and with the newer consoles for those not on PC. In addition to being faster and more stamina efficient when compared to heavy attacks, they also did much more damage by today's standards. Some went well past 22 damage, and some heroes even had 3 light chains to make spamming all the easier. Of course in reference to Orochi, which brings me to my next point in the past, and how the Samurai were primarily lightspammers. Orochi, Nobushi, and Kensei all had three light chains, Aramusha and infinite light chain, Shinobi had little other options, and Shugoki of course had the hyperarmord light to interrupt any and all offense. The stigma still exists of course against the Samurai for this, but only fools complain about lightspam from Orochi, who had the third light removed a while ago much like Shugoki's armored light. The CCU of course took care of the rest, and it made lightspam nothing short of ineffective.
But my dear reader, it never killed lightspam. Lightspam still exists, far weaker, but equally as annoying in today's time. For no matter if they work against you or don't, your opponent will be adamant to throw it out against you, due to the lack of a fully developed brain. My findings conclude the Vikings, ironic enough, house the de facto light spammer in the game. But my research (getting my ass slapped) revealed much more. Allow me to now dive deeper, and explain the basics of our remaining Vikings.
We shall start firstmost with Warlord, adequately named Borelord by some, with how simple and plain this grease stained Neanderthal really is. I have always stated that Warden is the white bread of For Honor, with how simple he is. If that's the case, Warlord would be equivalent to the stale moldy bread some booger picking child left behind the bleachers during gym. He is a product of his time, forgotten, and both tasteless and unhealthy for you. Despite having absolutely zero redeeming qualities, as he fell out of meta as of late, people still insist on playing this hero. Firstly, I am not one to judge you harshly on your character choice, you are entitled to play who you desire. But in a game with 34 different heroes, you pick the most stale, boring, and bland hero for more than a single rep? I will question your tastes then, but I understand them. Warlord being a product of his time, has not aged well. I do not blame the veterans of this hero, but it does not have to make me enjoy him. He is boring to fight as and to fight, since his kit is extremely limited. Most of the time, Warlord will try to light you over and over to shrink your health pool, so that for the first time in years they may use a heavy and perhaps get the execution. Any reactable maneuver you do, however, will be parried instantly. This means, of course, that your offense becomes that of Warlord, who now has forced you to play his sick twisted game of doing nothing but an opener bash and light attacks. Warlord, who I also like to call Warwar like I was speaking to a toddler incapable of higher thinking, is incapable of doing anything interesting ever. And for some reason, he is one of the last heroes who can easily put you out of stamina, since his parry riposte stuns and eats a chunk of your stamina, and his gb into wall splat eats a third. For the reasons listed, I believe he is one of the most annoying, and unenjoyable heroes. I imagine most Warlord players wanted to play as a fatman, but didn't want to be funny or interesting like Shugoki, so they got second best.
Onto our next Viking, Berserker. Berserker is an interesting case, because unlike Warlord, Berserker is actually strong. Deemed as S-Tier for the past few seasons and still going strong, this hero is an extreme fucking menace that always makes me sigh when I see one. In some odd twist, I've also seen many grow an ego from playing someone so easy, and given a year or so, I imagine this number might grow exponentially and one day reach at least half the amount of Orochi's with ego, but I digress. In Berserker's case, we have another case of lightspam, even though he's not limited to it. You see, this homeless crackhead can feint intio 400 mls heavies that are armored. He can easily track dodges on the heavy timing, trade and keep his offense going, or interrupt any offense you have going as well. Most Berserks will throw this out 3-4 times in a row, and think they have some masterclass good at the game. Despite how annoying this is, it's not as nearly as bad as the rest of his kit, who has no weakness. You cannot outtrade him, you cannot outrun him, you cannot outdodge him, and you certainly cannot outdo his absurd feats. His damage can easily reach 40+ on heavies, and his instant hyperarmor enables this easily. If you hated dodge recovery cancels before, then I'm sure you'll hate them combined with instant armored attacks. But while I also understand he's an excellent hero choice, I still believe there's way to many of them. Seriously, every other fucking game there is a Berserker. I've officially counted more Berserkers than Orochi. Orochi. A character whose nickname by the community was Roach, for being a bug you want to stomp and with how many they are. I genuinely wish they take this crackhead out back and break his knees. As a final note onto this mess of a hero, his marching fire armor is fucking ugly.
Our third is Highlander. Personally, I have never ever enjoyed this hero. He has been a mess from day one, with high damage but no reliable way to access it. However he's recently received a rework, so, what does this mean? Well, I actually believe his rework was okay. It granted him much more access to his offensive stance, and gave him more tools to work with. This unfortunately, had the side effect of making him good. If there was any hero that should've stayed bad, it would be Highlander. The idea that his rollcathcer is a command grab that pins you and can easily set up a quick gank is ludicrous, and returning to the light-spam topic for a moment, Highlander can actually do it quite well. Once again, lightspam in this discussion isn't about if it's effective or not, but merely a playstyle of a bygone era most people partake in. That being said, Highlander's offensive stance lights are now 400mls, which actually makes them an effective means to spam with. So this is our third viking who usually will lightspam you somewhat, which once again, is annoying.
Moving on to our fourth, is Shaman. Shaman is an interesting case, as the always delusional Shaman mains believe just because she's bad (she should be) that she can't be annoying (she is). Shaman, in my opinion, is by far the most annoying Viking. But she is not the best light spammer. In fact, she rarely spams lights at all. Shaman is actually a very rare case of a zone spammer, as her shit is extremely annoying and effective. Some dodges will still be caught by her dumb looking flurry of blows. It's her spammiest move by far, and genuinely, Shaman is meant to be spammy. This is because in a stroke of absolute brilliance, Ubisoft decided to give her a lifesteal as an innate part of her moveset. Yes, the most complained aspect about Kyoshin, is just naturally a part of this ugly tweaker. Ensuring that once she gets an insane 17 dmg bleed 400mls stab, she has a healthswing on every thing she does. Her zone is perfect for this at it's four hits or yet another change at a 17 dmg bleed stab. But my friends, it gets far worst. For you see, her bite is even more absurd. Confirmed off GB or by an ally, Shaman's bite does a huge 35 damage, while also healing her for 50. This is a 50 damage health swing, which is absolutely absurd, and should not exist in this game's day and age. Especially when, an ally can easily sneak in a heavy during the bite's wakeup. Many stupid people defend this, by saying Shaman has to work for it through her bleed. But I must retort, does not every hero have to work for their damage? Does Shugo not have to for his hug? Does Jorm not for his slam? Well ignore what I just said, because not even Shaman has to work for her absurd bite. In some sort of unholy alliance, most Nobushi'a have started keeping Shaman's as pets. Any match with a nobu and shaman is most likely a duo, and you can bet they're going to be sitting in eachothers lap all game. One tick from bleed is all it takes for you to lose against them, as Nobushi's 35 damage undodgeable against bleeding foes, allows shamam to get her bite with insane ease. Her bite also guarantees more damage from Nobu, so by being generous, we can say that a Shaman and Nobu gank can be nearly 70 damage. God, I hate this bitch and her stupid hair, and one day I wish Shaman mains may actually learn what good fashion is, so my eyes won't be assaulted while I'm being violated by genderbent Hannibal Lector.
Our fifth is Jormungandr, who actually stumps me quite a bit. His most annoying aspect is his wallsplat, which frankly, I despise that this mechanic has become more common. But that's very little reason to place him with these.... other "heroes". No, I've noticed that most Jormungandrs I come across, also prefer to spam lights. Despite having an interesting kit, nine times out of ten, they will always light, light, zone, light, light. Even more odd, is I feel most I come across rarely let their unblocable heavy fly, instead, choosing to feint it for a light attack. I actually believe this has to be further researched, so it is here I humbly ask the Jormungandr council to investigate themselves, and found out why this might be. I see now I have the least to say about Jormumgandr, but nevertheless, I'd still consider him annoying enough to be listed.
And finally we arrive, to the most, abhorrent, foul, despicable character ever conceived. The pinnacle of how not to design a hero, the de facto lightspammer, who could make even Orochi blush; Vanrangian Guard. Varangian, is by far, the most annoying Viking if I push my Shaman hate boner aside. Ubisoft Montreal was truly cooking, when it came to designing this dumbass character. We shall start firstly by discussing her ability to lightspam, which is frankly uncontested. You see, Varangian has enhanced lights that also have the superior block property. This is not unheard of, what is, however, would be the fact both her dodge attack and her light finisher also have crushing counters. So, by pressing light and light over and over, she'd actually be doing what she's designed to do by the devs themselves. You cannot simply block a light, as that won't stop her offense, and both starter and finisher light give her no reason not to lightspam, as her damage goes up to 20 with a CC. Her CC on dodge attack is also vastly more generous compared to Tiandi or Zhanhu, who require more strict time. Yes, Virginia really is a lightspam machine, who is constantly rewarded by pressing the right bumper over and over. Even if you parry a light attack and get your punish, she'll surely do it again. But my dear reader, we are not done yet, for you see, that's not all that makes this hero annoying. In another stroke of brilliance, no doubt cooked up by Harvard graduates and other brilliant scholars, she can pin you constantly. In order to combat the meta of wide attacks and hitstun, they made a hero who has wide attacks and hitstun. By simply blocking an attack with her shield, she can pin you for a few seconds, easily preventing you from doing anything more. To which, if she so wills it, can do a guaranteed heavy, which will pin you again for an additional amount of time. Vagina is designed, almost directly akin to Warlord, but a modern take that actually makes them a viable pick. Her other mix-up, the orange into soft feint gb, is also taken from another hero, that being JJ. Unblockable soft feint to gb is not inherently annoying, but it's extremely boring and effective, much like everything else about Vag. She's a brick wall who can also attack thanks to her constant CC's and pins. I also don't believe anyone like her or mains her because they find her moveset enjoyable, anyone who says otherwise is clearly a Ubisoft plant to persuade others that she isn't simply lazy design.
This marks the closure of my post, I hope I have enlightened some to the flawed and absurdity of these chosen heroes, and while I do hope they can be changed for the better, I also hope we can all collectively agree that anyone who plays these heroes are less than human, excluding Jormunagndrs, who are on thin ice. As always, I am open to debate to the comments, and will thoroughly explain any questions one may have.

My (30f) boyfriend (30m) made plans a while ago that him and his future significant other would buy a home with his family. He currently lives with his family. He use to live on his own but moved in with family once his dad left his job and they asked the kids to move in with them to help with expenses. At the beginning of us dating, I expressed that I want to purchase a home with him and live on our own. He told me that he wants the same.
Lately his family has been pressuring him to go back to the decision they all planned saying that it’s not fair because they all agreed to move in together at first. They also told him that they overheard a conversation that we had where I asked for reassurance that he would get his finances together and move in with me (this conversation was had after he informed me that he would be staying with his family for one more year so that he can get his finances together) and that’s when they started pressuring him to change his mind again. They tried to spin it as if I’m making him make the decision to move in with me.
His family has terrible money management and always has issues with paying bills. He always tries to save money because at any point, a large bill will come out of nowhere requiring him to put money toward it. The family completely lives about their means with them living in a nice house and having nice cars that they can barely afford. On top of it all, we get no privacy as you all see. This is a deal breaker for me. How do I go about handling this?
TL;DR: Boyfriends family pressuring him to keep his word and maintain living with them instead of living on his own with me.

The beginning of my daughters 6th grade year (2021), a new girl moved to town. We will call her Ruth. Her parents had recently divorced and she moved here with her mother. My daughter quickly became friends with her and I noticed my daughter coming out of her shell more. Being less shy, more outgoing. I was happy for her to have made a new friend that she was close so quickly with. The friendship quickly turned into best friends. The girl began coming over to our house for sleepovers on the weekends as kids do. They would hang out at the park together in town. She eventually asked to go over to her house to hang out and I said yes. She knew it would just be hanging out during the day as I really didn't know her mother well. My daughter got in the car and told me how much she liked hanging out over there and then proceeded to tell me there roaches crawling on the floor in the girls bedroom, THEN asked if she could stay the night sometime. I told her no and explained to her why and said that her friend is always welcome to come stay at our home. BFF's continue. No harm, no foul.
Fast forward to 7th grade year. Still BFF's. This is great. Especially since girls are so awful to each other ALL THE TIME IN JUNIOR HIGH. Her mom has a work trip and has to travel out of state for a few days during the school week. She asked if her daughter could stay with us. My husband and I agreed that it would be fine and she stayed with us for a few days while her mom was out of state. Still BFF's.
Now it's the middle of 7th grade year, around January (2023). Her mom (46 y/o)started dating a new guy(50 y/o). This guys fiancé had recently left him for another guy. We will call him John. I live in a dominantly republican area if this gives you any idea of the people I'm dealing with/talking about. Anyways, they fall in love and she moves in with John within 6 months of dating each other. (Approx May 2023). Her son decides to move back with his dad. Her other daughter moved in with a boyfriend (she is over 18). So, just the mom and daughter move in with him and his son(irrelevant).
Summer 2023 it is suddenly unfair that Ruth is always coming over to our house, but my daughter never goes over there. My husband(37 y/o) and I(35 y/p) agree that it is ok for her to go over there. John had just recently putting up an above ground pool. We don't have a pool. It's summer. I get it. She goes over there plenty of times, I let her stay late as we just live about a mile or two down the road. John starts building a "cabin" as a "great outlook over the pool". This is basically a cabin/pool house thing up 12 feet above the pool, but kind of to the side. My husband and I think its super weird...but whatever, they continue hanging out back and forth at one another's houses. Ruth continues to stay over a lot. In the midst of all of this and my daughter meeting John she informs me that....John thinks my daughter is a liar. Of course I asked why. John thinks that because my daughter will not look him in the eye when she speaks to him. My daughter is shy and has a lot of anxiety. I told her that she is not required to look him in the eye if she doesn't want to her. Its HER choice. John now has a say in what Ruth wears. He is not allowing her to wear short shorts anymore because it will give off the wrong impression to men dressing that way. Same with tops as far as her chest and stomach. I don't mean extreme stuff either. I mean if she has a shirt that touches her pants, but when she lifts up her arms it shows her stomach it is not allowed. I also really don't care how people choose to allow/not allow their children to dress, it is just that she was previously allowed to wear these things. She is also no longer allowed to hang out in her room alone, she has to hang out with her family in the living room.
Fast forward to a couple of months ago. Still BFF's. My daughter asked for Ruth to stay over. Of course, its fine with my husband and I. However, Ruth cannot stay over because it is now unfair that Ruth always stays at our house and my daughter never stays there. My daughter asked me if she could spend the night over there. She informed me that if she was not able to spend the night over there, then they wouldn't be able to hang out anymore. I figured it was just two teenagers making stuff up to be able to stay somewhere. I always used to do it when I was a kid...all kids do it. I asked my daughter if she wanted to stay there. She was upset, and said yes because if she doesn't then they won't be able to be friends. She said so if she has to do it to be friends with Ruth, then she will. My daughter does not even use public restrooms/school restrooms. The only place she will go to the restroom is at home. My husband and I talked it over and did not allow her to stay because of how he openly talks shit about our daughter, and if you've read above...its giving narcissist. We explained all of this to our daughter.
Later that night there is a knock on our door. Its Ruth mom and John. They asked if they could talk to us. John asked if we called him a pedophile. We didn't. We explain this. Convo continues. Not a heated convo just a normal convo. They continue to talk to let us know that they don't drink or anything but they are facing misdemeanor charges for fighting ANOTHER GIRLS PARENTS in the 8th grade class at a Poker Run for a fundraiser a few months ago but it wasn't their fault. Then John asks if I bought Ruth a tanktop recently. It was a spaghetti strap. John tells my husband and I "Ruth isn't allowed to wear those because soon they will be freshman in highschool and ALL of the seniors have a bet to see how many freshman they can fuck and the ones dressed like that will be the easiest targets" Blood boils . I informed John politely but sternly that girls should not have to worry about how they are dressed, parents should be teaching the BOYS how to behave properly and obtain consent. John also defended a sex offender that was charged for molesting a girlfriends daughter who is disabled and cannot speak or talk for herself. John defended him and said technically she WASNT a minor and he is a good guy. Idc about sex offenders and I do believe in rehabilitation but a crime is a crime. Long convo. Basically chit chatting about our kids. It ended with them telling us that our daughter is always welcome to stay and we said thanks and they left.
Now, Ruth is no longer allowed to hang out with my daughter. Ruth has to ride the bus and cannot get rides home with us because its US. They are not allowed at the park together. She's not allowed here. This is per John and Ruth's mom. They had graduation and Ruth had to make sure John didn't catch her talking to me.
I obviously want my daughter to be happy. She has not given me an attitude about any of this. She has gotten upset and cried and just told me that she would do it if she had to because she doesn't want to lose her friend. She wants to have a good summer but John gives me the CREEPS and narcissist vibes. I also feel like its a control thing for him?
Plz be nice. I'll cry if I'm TA. lol

I just want to get this out.

I'm going on my third year at this job. This girl joined about 1,5 years ago, she has 3 kids with a guy there who's been working there for 13 years. One of the people who has been working there the longest. Bosses respect him. And to be quite frank, even though I rarely see him, I always had a good relationship with him. Shake hands. I find him to be alright. But I don't know much..
From what I gathered, she's only with him because they have 3 kids. I don't see any sort of love between them. From what I have gathered he has cheated on her, or at the very least, has tried to see other girls, which teared her self esteem up and became a very frustrated person.
When I first started talking to her I would tell her that her boyfriend's the guy who should be promoted because he would do a greater job than most. Always complimented him. She'd agree. Until, fast forward, she wasn't so nice about him anymore.
Me and the girl started talking too much. I guess I became her go to, and made her feel very good. I always kept distance when it came to showing love interest, I always kept a step back. But my toxic, idiot side kinda wanted her to like me like that. Why? Idk. Self esteem. I actually had fun talking to her tbh. We had an actual lot in common. We hung out somewhere special once and it was a dinner with other friends. I saw it as just fun.
She lived near me and we started going home from work in the same car. Fast forward, maybe a month later, she decided she wanted to talk to me privately, and as I guessed, she went ahead and kissed me. After that, It became more sexual and she started going down on me. My behavior is so immature, I would be lying if I said I wouldn't have kept that up.
We kept talking and talking, but the reality is i couldn't find myself to have genuine love for her. I don't like her like that. Although I do care for her. Feel good when she's around, but it's the same feelings you have when you care for a real friend.
She would do everything for me. Gave me expensive shoes (110€) because she heard me speak about adidas shoes at that same dinner. She brought me other sht. Bruh she brought a rabbit and named it after a nickname she gave me.
I don't love her. I accepted that this was enough, so I decided to tell her straight. She didn't believe me. So she kept finding ways to get back to me. Like skipping work, or work in a different position or schedule so I wouldn't see her, just different ways to get my attention. I would fall for that everytime. Because the sobbing and tears didn't help. She even came to my house unannounced and wouldn't leave until I came out and talked to her. She said something about not feeling good. I felt afraid she'd do something stupid to herself or pass out from some illness she has. So I came out. Spoke to her, and gave out, we became good again, telling her I only saw her as a friend, but if she wants benefits too, sure. Again, me messing it up with selfishness again because I always knew she was hopeful for more.
Recently, i decided to once again see if I can separate myself from her. I told her I wanted distance and I got that. She gave me that, while always hoping I'd track back. When she's around bruh just knowing she's looking at me it makes me laugh. And she takes it as "he's playing hard to get but he's nervous and wants me", lol, no i just can't contain myself.
But I've managed to be avoiding that.
She wants my attention back everytime she sees me, but I haven't aknowledged.
Before the very last time I spoke to her, she told my friend that she was taking meds and hasn't slept because of me. After that, that same day while going home, she drove by me and got out, i told her to her face that I only saw her as a coworker and to keep distance.
In response, she stepped away from me at work. Unfollowed me on all social medias. And hopefully it stays this way.
After some time she told my friend that she was going to leave work. He told me this and the first thing I said was: "nah bro. She said this because she knows you'd tell me, and so I would reach out to her". And guess what, I was right. She went on her work vacation without telling anyone, and was furious I didn't reach out to her. I haven't fell for these sort of manipulations anymore. I have not texted. To this day, after a couple months, we haven't spoken.
Her boyfriend knew about all this I'm sure, but let it go. And is cool to me still. I'm not sure how love works in their house, but if there was no relationship, she wouldn't hide. So, she cheated with me, clearly.
My friend said that in every break up, one person always gets seriously more hurt. And I should accept this. And move forward. He also knows that she's very problematic and has been in situations where she's wrong but makes a scene to her bosses to make it seem she's in the right. Therefore that I need to be careful she doesn't start drama with me as revenge.
It is crazy that I have put myself in this situation. But my only solution is to keep this up, right? Simply not aknowledge her existence. I don't see any other way.
Tl:dr - Met this girl at work who is in a long relationship. She fell and obsessed over me. Now I can't get rid of her.I (28M) met this girl (34F) who isn't single and has kids, and messed up