Regarding the Prime Directive as I’ve seen a lot of discussion on it recently, I have come to the conclusion that is not an objective clearly define law, but that it can be subjectively interpreted by the captain or commanding officer in general. And here how I will proof it with in-universe examples and arguments as every nice fan would do.

First taking something out of the way, some people have argue that Prime Directive applies only to pre-warp civilizations, and although I can see where that comes from no, in for example episode “Symbiosis” we see Picard using it as an argument for not intervening (at first) within two warp capable civilizations when one had the other as drug addicts.
What others have said, IMO going to the other extreme, is that PD applies also to Federation members, as in that “no interference with the natural development and internal affairs of a world” would apply to members and non-members alike. This is also. Kirk outright says in “The Cloud Minders” that the Federation does not allow for caste systems, torture or slavery, something Sisko also says (regarding caste systems) in episode “Accession”, Sisko also threatens to expose the Trill government for hiding info to its population in “Equilibrium” (if they were not Federation members then not only would he be breaking the PD but also wouldn’t matter as they can do as they see fit having to answer no one). We also see in PROD, SNW and DS9 that Augments are illegal Federation-wide and no Federation member can make them, thus yes Federation members have to abide to the Charter, Constitution and federal laws.

So, how does it applies? What a lot of people often quotes is Picard’s words in Redemption were he refuses to intervene in the Klingon Civil War in favor of the pro-Federation faction and against the Romulan agents like the Duras Sisters quoting that such thing would violate the PD.
And although a lot of people have pointed out that Picard was using it only as an excuse to not getting involved, but even if he was serious, what have other captains done in similar situations?
Well we have Sisko, and no I’m not talking ot “In the Pale Moonlight” that an extreme case were he was doing things clearly illegal. The example that comes to mind is “Apocalypse Rising”. After finding out that Chancellor Gowron could be a Changeling they go undercover to expose/kill him and seem to be doing it with Starfleets approval. Doesn’t’ that breaks the PD? I mean is basically the same situation. Having Gowron been a Changeling is still an internal affair is not that different than having a Romulan agent as Chancellor.
And of course you can count other examples like Sisko taking sides during the Bajoran Coup attempt and many other examples of dealing with the Bajorans. But lets see another case:
Janeway. She basically “broke” the PD in every episode, at least if we go by Picards’ definition. In almost every episode she’s intervening and acting in such ways that altered the natural development of other cultures, whether is helping hide telepaths from Space Nazis, saving a Species 8472 from Hirogens, helping the Borg against Species 8472, dethroning the Ferengis stranded on the Quadrant from the planet they’re posing as gods, helping the Hirogens fight the hologram rebellion, etc. But the most clearer examples are intervening directly in the Q Civil War and work as judge in Quinn’s appealing to be kill (The Q and the Grey and Death Wish).
And no, I’m not saying she’s wrong or doing bad, nor I want to jump the bandwagon of Janeway/Voyager haters. Quite the opposite I think Voyager did the right thing and actually made a lot of good while traveling through the DQ.
But we can see that Janeway and Sisko’s interpretation of the PD is way more lenient than Picard. I could also use examples from Kirk and Pike but I don’t see it necessary. I think we can see that simply put Picard is just the most strict captain (of those see on screen) and is some sort of “Prime Directive purist” or “radical”.

I assessed the 5 players from both the Nuggets and Timberwolves that had the most minutes played throughout the 7-game series. Each player was assessed based purely on scoring and shooting.
Total minutes played, field goals made, field goals attempted, 3PT field goals made, 3PT field goals attempted, free throws made and free throws attempted were the metrics included.
TEAM STATS
DENVER NUGGETS 1190 MP 565 PTS 215/458 FG (46.94%) 54/158 3PT FG (34.18%) 81/92 (88.04%)
MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES 1128 MP 519 PTS 192/398 FG (48.24%) 65/171 3PT FG (38.01%) 74/93 FT (79.57%)
As shown above, the Nuggets and Timberwolves alike had unremarkable shooting splits. The Nuggets were better at shooting FTs, but worse in FGs. They shot more FGs and made more, but at a worse shooting clip than the Timberwolves. The Timberwolves were better at shooting 3s, but not to a significant degree.
I also demarcated the stats individually per team.
INDIVIDUAL STATS
DENVER NUGGETS
Nikola Jokic 281 MP 203 PTS 78/151 FG (51.66%) 8/35 3PT FG (22.86%) 39/44 FT (88.64%)
Aaron Gordon 243 MP 103 PTS 41/65 FG (63.08%) 10/17 3PT FG (58.82%) 11/14 FT (78.57%)
Jamal Murray 221 MP 129 PTS 52/129 FG (40.31%) 13/39 3PT FG (33.33%) 12/12 FT (100%)
Micheal Porter Jr. 245 MP 75 PTS 26/70 FG (37.14%) 13/40 3PT FG (32.50%) 10/13 FT (76.92%)
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope 200 MP 55 PTS 18/43 FG (41.86%) 10/27 3PT FG (37.04%) 9/9 FT (100%)
MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES
Anthony Edwards 288 MP 194 PTS 71/142 FG (50%) 19/51 3PT FG (37.25%) 33/39 FT (84.62%)
Karl Anthony Towns 243 MP 130 PTS 49/96 FG (51.04%) 13/33 3PT FG (39.39%) 19/24 FT (79.20%)
Jaden McDaniels 225 MP 79 PTS 29/57 FG (50.88%) 8/21 3PT FG (38.1%) 13/19 FT (68.42%)
Mike Conley 196 MP 66 PTS 25/53 FG (43.40%) 13/29 3PT FG (44.83%) 7/9 FT (77.78%)
Nickeil Alexander-Walker 176 MP 50 PTS 18/50 FG (36%) 12/37 3PT FG (32.43%) 2/2 FT (100%)
It's an interesting dichotomy. While the Timberwolves got outscored and shot worse, they still managed to eke out the win. Much of the bad shooting emerged in the 3 losses the Timberwolves had, especially the blowout in game 3.
I didn't get into the advanced stats and other metrics such as rebounds, assists and stocks. Nonetheless, it paints an interesting picture. For the Timberwolves, tightening up the shooting will be an invaluable boon against the Mavericks. Shooting that volume of 3s and missing so much can bite them if they don't improve.

I am only missing completing my gen 2 pokedex because I don't have a Corsola. I know there was an event or something but I wasn't playing at that time. Do corsola raids still happen in the zone where it's supposed to spawn in? And if it does will someone friend me from that area and let me know what your username is. I will save a remote raid pass to try and use if I'm not busy with work to jump in the raid. It's the last one I need to finish that part of my Dex.
FRIENDS CODE IS 3714 0533 2862
Also looking for friends for gift exchange. I gift as many as I'm able to a day.

Wanted to share my experience doing crash course studying for 7 days and passing the SIE first attempt! I never post anything on here, but others posts made a big difference for me, so here goes!
TL;DR:
I passed my SIE yesterday after only 7 days of study. Intense! I used Pass Perfect, spent 50 hours studying total. If you only have a week or two before your test, DO NOT take a bunch of notes on everything! Read the content, take the quizzes and test, take notes on those answers and explanations!
VERY IMPORTANT: Use the two free Achievable SIE dump Sheets and watch both the S7 Guru and S7 Whisperer 60 min crash course SIE YouTube videos the day before or day of test! I’ve included links at the bottom of this post. Be sure to memorize the dump sheet tricks and formulas, and decide what’s most important to reference. The test center gives you two laminated sheets and dry erase markers you can use as soon as the test timer starts. Be ready to write down key formulas, acronyms, timeframes, etc. Mine were the Options 4 square box, SLoBS & BLiSS, yield teeter totter and Key Open vs Closed end market notes. (All on the achievable dump sheets except Open/Closed Markets).
My Story:
In late April I was hired by Vanguard for a position starting May 28. I’d been a contractor doing customer service in an unlicensed VG position for about 10 months (no finance background before that); with the goal of getting hired in a licensed, permanent role within a year. I worked hard and got hired! The position requires SIE, S7 and S63. After my start date they pay me to do nothing but study and take exams for 9 or 13 weeks (depending on whether I’d passed the SIE prior to start date), which is awesome, but there’s a $5000 bonus if the SIE is passed at least a week before start date.
Note: I did have a little familiarity with basic terms and what’s required for account opening, due to my contractor position).
I originally scheduled my exam for May 13. I had about a month from hire date to May 13, and VG paid for the Pass Perfect course. I started some light studying the first week, thinking I had 3 more weeks and was on track. Then I got really sick for 2 weeks! I’m talking bed ridden, definitely no studying. So May 10 I rescheduled my exam to May 18! I had to pay $40 but figured it was well worth it not to fail, lol.
I was finally well enough to start studying on May 11, giving me 7 days. 😅 I had retained very little from my initial studying so I started over. I thought “I can do this!” I figured I’d had to do similar in college while working full time. Boy it was rough!
7 Days to PASS the SIE:
The first 3 days I had all day to study: Sat, Sun and Mon (had the day off for my original test date).
THE PLAN 41+ hours 5 practice tests, scoring at least 75%
Days 1-3 (full days) - 8+ hrs per day - Complete Pass Perfect Course (16 chapters) start to finish (reading and all quizzes, chapter tests)
Days 4-5 (Tues, Wed) - 5 hrs each day (2 before work and 3 after) - Take 1-2 Pass Perfect Final exams (1 hr 45 min each) each day, taking time to focus/take notes on anything I missed - Goal of 4 total tests, with 75% or higher on 3
Day 6 (Friday, day before the test) - 5 hours (2 hrs before work, 3 hours after) - Take 1 FINRA practice SIE exam before work (free on FINRA website) - after work, Review all Difficult Topics - Listen to S7g.u.r.u & S7 whisperer on YouTube. (They each have a 60 minute crash course review, recommended for day before or day of test). - Print out Achievable Dump Sheets - add my own notes to dump sheets
Day 7 (Day of Test) Test scheduled for 2pm (1:30 registration) - 2 hours Notes and Dump Sheets Review in morning - Leave for Test at 11:30, arrive 12:30 (45 min drive) - One last Review of Dump Sheets for 45 min, take a break before registration
Great Plan Right?! Wellll, I didn’t quite stick to it. 🤣
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: 52 Hours Study - Not at the planned pace! 4 Practice Finals (71% average) A lot of tears, anxiety and stress!😫 A rollercoaster of Self-doubt and Self-Confidence
Day 1 (Sat): 7 hrs Completed first 3 chapters, taking tons of notes on a Google doc, color coded and highlighted. I’ll do more tomorrow I thought, my brain is fried
Day 2 (Sun): 10 hours Completed chapters 4&5 again taking tons (too many) notes, taking quizzes and Tests multiple times, worried I wasn’t getting the concepts and terms well enough. Getting really worried about my pace now, but “hey I have tomorrow. I’ll crush it and catch up”. Maybe I won’t get to tests until Thurs, but I’ll be okay..
Day 3 (Mon): 7 hrs (I was exhausted and burnt out, still not 100% from being sick) Chapter 6 OPTIONS… the death of me, soooo much to learn. Barely got through chapter 6. Full panic has now set in! I have to work full time the next 4 days! If the rest of the course is this hard, I’m screwed. There goes my bonus, how will I tell my husband? (He would not have been mad but I would feel terrible). “Children and husband, do not bother me! I need to focus!” 😅
Day 4 (Tues): 6 hrs ( 6pm-12am) Intense panic and anxiety, how the hell am I going to finish?! Screw notes, get through the chapters! Completed chapters 7-10 Whew, these chapters weren’t as bad, maybe it’s getting easier. I think I remember a good amount. Better wrap this up tomorrow!
Day 5 (Wed): 5 hrs Very worried, but I’ll finish today and take lots of tests the next 2 days! Completed chapters 11-13 😫 OMG I’m still not done with the course and I have 2 days left! I must sleep.
Day 6 (Thurs): 6 hrs in the evening - Completed remaining chapters 14-16, course done 8pm. Whew, content done. Worried about not taking any tests yet, but at least I feel like I know the content decently! Took my first Pass Perfect Test, score 71% not as bad as I thought but that’s not a lot of margin for error! (Need 70% to Pass actual SIE test). At that point I’m calculating how much each point is worth, looking up suggestions online and praying, lol 🙏
Day 7 (Fri): 7 hrs Took 2 Pass Perfect tests, reviewed missed answers carefully and took notes. Scores: 71% and 73%. Took FINRA SIE test (on their website), 69%. Omg I’m gonna fail tomorrow. 🥺
Friday night I thought “Hmm Maybe I can reschedule for Monday (the deadline to pass for bonus). Two more days and I will be ready!” So I go to the Prometrics website and try to reschedule, seeing one slot for Monday at a site 2 hrs away… awesome.. NOPE, NOT ALLOWED less than 3 days before scheduled exam! (Why did I not think of this Tuesday?) 🙄 So I called customer service, begged and told them I had been sick.. Since they said I could not reschedule the day before the test, I asked if they could cancel it and schedule a new appt for Monday? DENIED. So I took a deep breath, cried a little and came to terms with it. This test is happening, tomorrow. 😫 🤬
Friday night 9pm: As recommended by colleagues and online forums, I listen to S7 whisperer 60 min crash course on YouTube; no notes, listening in bed). Ok, learned some things, great overview/review. Maybe I can pull this off afterall. 🤔 Things are looking up. 😊
Saturday, May 13… Day of Test (2-4pm)
7am woke up, ate a good breakfast, prepared everything I needed to take and do. Now what? Should I take another practice test? Review my notes? Listen to video? I decided no more tests, I’ll listen to the other crash course (S7g.u.r.u 60 min crash course on YouTube). 🤞
8am—11:30 Crunch time. Im determined to pass this exam!! Spent 3 hours listening to the 60 min S7g.u.r.u video, pausing when needed, replaying as needed. Took 11 pages of color coded notes on the most important points and formulas I needed to remember, mainly on Regulations (what market does it impact, what type of product, who, timeframes). I knew this was going to be at least 15% of test (I was right) and these were the main questions I missed on my Practice Finals
11:30am Renewed Faith 🙌 DAMN I learned a LOT. I’m gonna pass this thing! I was already getting low 70s on Thursday practice tests and I KNOW I learned enough from the video to pass several more questions. S7g.u.r.u literally saved me, pulling it all together in my mind! 🤯
12pm Went to UPS store, printed the 2 Achievable dump sheets and my 11 pages of notes from the video! I scanned them at every red light on the way 😂
12:59 arrived at test center. Spent 20 minutes reviewing dump sheets and drilling in my mind what to put on the 2 pages they give me for notes (specifically below and in links)
1:20 walk in, first one there.. registration complete at 1:35. To my surprise, they seat me and I can start test immediately!
As soon as the timer started my hands were flying on the 2 laminated sheets they gave me. I spent the first 15 min vigorously writing out things I wanted to reference. 90 minutes left for 85 questions. Watched the timer closely to stay on pace. Used the notepad on the test platform for each question to write out calculations, or break down what each part of the question meant, used critical thinking for answer, marking questions for review when I was stuck between 2 answers. Most importantly, I followed my gut. I knew this stuff! Used calculator for EVERY calculation, even easy ones. Finished all questions with 5 minutes remaining. Reviewed marked questions and changed only 3, if I was SURE my original answer was wrong.
I hit submit and held my breath. 🫢 OMG, does that say PASS?!!! Yes, I actually Passed! 😳 I cried out of happiness and relief, was on cloud 9. I will never cram like this again! S7 and S63 will be better, lol.
SO here’s how you can have a better experience than me if you’re a week or two away and wondering how you can possibly pull this off. YOU CAN DO IT! 💪
TIPS FOR CRASH SIE STUDYING (learn from my mistakes)
1 NOTE TAKING: I’ve always learned best by taking a ton of notes, color coded on a google doc. Taking notes reinforces it in my brain and helps me find ways to remember it for myself. However, if you are crash course Studying for the SIE, you do NOT have time to do this, lol. Honestly I barely looked at those notes in the end.
TIP: Read through the content quickly and only take notes when it tells you it’s likely a testable question! Take all quizzes and tests, REVIEW the quiz/test answers (in PP the answers also give you a brief explanation of the concept) and take light notes on that! Do NOT replace reading with the videos! The first 4 chapters I tried to save time doing this and wondered why I was failing the chapter tests. The reading content had way more info than the video! Don’t shoot yourself in the foot!
2 DON’T SPEND TOO MUCH TIME on EARLY CONCEPTS! The earlier (and for the most part, less valuable - less test questions) content will be reinforced throughout course. Most of the concepts build over the course, so the basics are reinforced later anyway. I wasted several hours!
3 EXPECT 20-25 hours are needed to complete the course/learn the concepts! Give yourself a day on REGULATIONS and 5 hours on OPTIONS , these comprised a LOT of questions on the test, could make or break you!
4 TAKE at least 4 PRACTICE FINALS with a goal of 75%, but if you’re not improving, use the crash course Videos, learn the content! Don’t take 5 more tests in lieu of learning!
5 SPEND A FEW HOURS on (free) ACHIEVABLE DUMP SHEETS and S7g.u.r.u & S7 Whisperer crash course review videos on YouTube! I would not have passed without these! Reviewing them for 4 hours and using them for key points on my tests sheets saved my ass!
I’ve included links below for the FREE Achievable Dump Sheets and the 60 minute crash course videos. Feel free to message me for more help!
GOOD LUCK! It IS Possible to pass in a week! 🍀
SIE DUMP SHEETS: (scroll to bottom of the page, there are links to download them):
https://achievable.me/exams/finra-sie/overview/#resources
S7g.u.r.u 60 min crash course
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hQRLmVspNE
S7 Whisperer 60 min crash course
https://youtu.be/_-x-RFmFAD0?si=i_ZDrrFIWuMOTK6A

Celebrating my son’s birthday and graduation on Friday night so we decided to bring the family over to Taco Bell which we go to all the time and bring lots of business and overall a family vibe. It was my weekend with the kids and he was graduating 5th grade heading to middle school next year and I’m super proud of him. We were going to grab some food to go, and head over to watch the new Planet Apes movie. That was all until today they decided to get snippy with my family and speak down to my mother when we made a simple request. We were aware we had a bigger order coming thru, and first we gave them a call on our way over and let them know we would be coming inside to avoid clogging the drive thru line even tho that would be preferred by they screamed at us one time for waiting in the line with a big party so we decieded to play there rules tho even that didn’t seem to be enough. We then came inside and ordered for 17 of us (some of my crew members from BBTGG rolled with) , which I can understand being a lot of people but they weren’t busy at all and had plenty of staff working. Lots of young kids super excited and we were showing them the ropes on how to bring food in to theater. Much more affordable overall than concessions and drinks sodas candy hotdogs slushees nachos all that BS they overcharge for at theaters. We ordered $290 worth of food and sodas (keep in mind we filled the sodas up ourselves) but we let them know we completely understood if it would take some time. Out of the order, only 40% of it contained special requests. My son and I prefer extra onions while my mom enjoys extra tomatoes and beans on her burritos. A few other modifications with quesadillas and such but again not even half the order. The rest straight from the menu. I asked for an estimate and they said probably 20-25 minutes. That would have been a good estimate for how long it would take for us to finish our sodas, because we waited 47 minutes and received only part of our order. They specifically missed the request for extra tomatoes / beans on half of the burritos , giving us extra onions and beans on all burritos. While I wouldn’t mind keeping the burritos, my mother specially requested the extra tomatoes and beans, and my son was not wanting extra beams. It was turning into a fiasco and as mentioned a lot of other food had not been finished yet. We asked if we would be receiving the remaining burritos that were done incorrectly and they said it would take another 15 minutes. We had to be at the theater in 25 minutes. We asked if they could expedite and they said they had drive thru orders to complete? When we had ordered again 47 minutes earlier. Knowing we could Spare 10 minutes , miss the trailers, and have the food hot and ready to go for the movie wasn’t the worse case. We were being team players until my mother kindly asked again how long it would take. The employee threw turned to her and said “how about don’t order the whole menu and change it up next time”. Witihout hesitation I banged on the counter to break up the tension between the 2 and stop the argument. I knew my mom was going to snap. She was fuming at the disrespect. We then logically requested to get a refund on the part of the order that was done incorrectly, which unfortunately for them was a $100 mistake they weren’t willing to rectify. They gave us the bag of the rest of our food which we didn’t have time to check to make sure it was done write and then I asked them for the contact information and name of the GM as well as every single employee working. They refused to oblige and began pointing at the door to us saying “leave now or the police will be called”. So of course we left. Son and his friends were all bummed out but we surprised them with popcorn candy and sodas in the movie after we all finished the Bell. Amazing movie, terrible experience at Taco Bell. Has anyone else experienced this? I know they’re a corporation but we’re a small enough town here in Billings to have a community vibe even at fast food restaurants. I go to this location often, I give them my business and refer it to all my colleagues / crew. Love this city with all my heart but this one hurt. Much love to everyone happy Sunday.

I will be arriving in Valdosta, GA on Thursday, May 30, 2024, in the evening and I plan to check into my apartment on Friday, May 31, 2024.
The car I will be shipping is a drivable, 2023 Tesla Model Y. It's for resident to resident service. The pickup location is Downey, CA, and the delivery location is Valdosta, GA.
Please provide the full amount in the quote. We want to ensure that this is the final price and that no service fees or extra charges will be added.
I have several questions:

1. How much will the vehicle be insured for?
2. What is the weight allowance for goods? I plan to ship clothes and blankets inside the car.
3. Will tracking for the vehicle be provided?
4. If I need the vehicle on Friday, May 31st, 2024, how many days in advance do I need to ship it from Downey, CA?

Please note that I cannot receive the car earlier than Friday, May 31st in Valdosta, GA.

This is a bit of a long shot, I have a feeling this is potentially a niche problem but I'm hoping not! *crosses fingers & holds breathe*
Relevant Background:
I run a BOTC in-person group of clocktower enthusiasts! We get together about once a fortnight for a night of in-person games at my home, capped at 14 people (because of space issues), and whilst I'm genuinely thrilled its becoming increasingly popular (lots of people keep asking to add their friends to the invite list etc), its starting to get difficult to manage the number of people being invited compared to the amount of spots I have available per game...
At the moment I send out messages to all the people on our invite list in all their different preferential formats (ie. some people are in a 'group' message on fb messenger, some are on WhatsApp, some are text messages, some on Instagram... you get the picture - not all in the one 'place' and I'm unable to get them all into the one place, I've tried and it didn't work out, so that is NOT an option)..
The interest and invite list has grown so much so, that the last games 14 spots filled up in THREE MINUTES. (its bonkers! lol)... which meant that the first people who I sent messages too (at random as I found them in my messages history etc) got more 'minutes' warning than others, which has upset some people that they've missed out when others had 'more notice' *sigh... I don't know what else to do, because there is ALWAYS going to be someone else 'first'! And saying "the list opens at 5pm' or something is difficult too given everyone always seems to have slightly different time (and at this point, seconds and minutes actually count!)
Question:
I'd love to know if anyone knows of a (free) way I could set up a private BOTC event up similar to like a concert, where I can announce that it will go 'live' at a certain time, send them all the link (like an hour or two before hand), set the maximum about of seats (or tickets if you will) so that it actually opens at the EXACT same moment for everyone, and they can grab spots that way without me having do it all manually and people get more notice than others? (ie. like a Taylor Swift concert - they go live at a certain time, and once the allocation is exhausted, thats it!)
Thank you in advance for any help or GENUINE suggestions and advice! :)
Notes:
I'm looking for genuine help here, so please no judgement towards me or my group with attitudes like "just force people to all get Facebook Messenger or they miss out", I am actively trying to be inclusive and not everyone in our group feels these are appropriate options for them.
Also we have already tried previously to set up an event by Facebook, but again some people then missed it because not everyone had Facebook, so I still had to 'manage' who got in first with not everyone using the same platform etc, so doing it via Facebook sadly isn't an option either.
:)

Hi Guys, it's my first time dealing with a written off car, thankfully, but I cannot understand the process, to get worse I'm dealing with my mom passed at the same time, so I'm really hoping to get some help over here. Because, I'm not on my best to make hard decisions right now. I read that once they quoted my car value I'd have 7 days to give an answer if I agree or not if their decision. The only thing I got so far is an email stating, " The above vehicle has been assessed as a Write Off.
Prior Accident Value is $11491.
The claims dept will be in contact in the near future."
I believed I got a call from them, but no message was left, so I'm not sure. I'm asking as I was expecting a full quote, as they have to take the excess and insurance cover fee. So, I'm doubt if I should send them already an answer from my side. Also, they told over the phone that my insurance will have 10% addition, because of the accident, I was at fault. My insurance renewed on the 11th May, I hit my on the 13th. I had already got a quote from than of $100 per month, I do monthly payments. So I believe it'll be $110 a month, which will be discounted as $1320 from the car value. But, as the policy had started on the 11th, should they wait until the next policy next year? The $11491 is regarding a Kia Picanto 2017 Si Auto MY2018, I had 3 accidents before, all fixed under insurance. Would you guys believe this is a fair price? I'had a look in 2016 Picantos, could find much about 2017 and they're around $13500, but in Vic not QLD. Sorry if it's too many question, but any advice is really helpful at the moment! Thank you Guys!

Name: 「The Settlement」 Localized name: 「The Settlement」 Namesake: The Settlement Song by Bachdenkel
Stand User: Preston Garvey
Type: Artificial Humanoid, Automatic, Colony, Long-Range, Materialized
Appearance: A sleek humanoid being that stands tall. It carries an aura of discipline expected of a militia or a soldier. It dons the Minutemen Uniform albeit with the word "STAND" engraved on its armband.
Stand Cry: Anananano~ther settlement needs your help~!
Stats Power: D~A The Power of the Settlement compels you! Speed: B~A It arrives within a minute exactly in the area. After that, it will move instantaneously due to the power of Range: D~B Its limited range is the designated area's size. Durability: D~A 「The Settlement」 needs more defenses! Precision: B Old-timey muskets can miss after all. Potential: C C is for Castle.
Stand Activation: 「The Settlement」 will always appear within a minute after its initial activation. Otherwise, the Stand User will appear to have no Stand at all.
Ability: The Minute Settlement Localization Name: The Minute Placement Preston Garvey will designate an area in their point-of-view. Sadly, Preston needs to be within or near the area otherwise this will not work. Once the area is designated, the Stand will appear exactly within a minute, forcing the Stand User to survive for a minute in order for the Stand to manifest.
After a minute passes, the Stand will appear, carrying a modified laser musket/railgun that shoots lightspeed bullets that will look like a laser beam. The Stand will track down any foes within the area and ten to twenty meters outside of it. The Stand will automatically fight and a dozen copies of itself to overwhelm its foes by flanking from the sides or sneaking around to their blind spot. After that, the Stand will appear to fade away but will spawn within a minute's notice should foes appear again.
Depending on the size of the designated area, 「The Settlement」's durability will either be as weak as a human being or as durable as a veritable fortress.
The designated areas are tracked and some of 「The Settlement」's bodies will patrol the areas, albeit their durability is the same as that of a normal human being and they will use ordinary laser muskets. Outside of activation, 「The Settlement」 can be seen as a human being with little to no defining features.
-=O=-
Notes:
The Stand's title is quite memey but it isn't truly a meme... and "traumatic" for certain people. It can be used in a story and actually be a destructive Stand if used right, but it can also be a source of angst due to its ability.
This was posted earlier but I forgot to change the title.
If this wins, which I don't expect it to, the theme would be Mysticpunk.

Shore-ing Up Sides
What kind of a name is this episode? Stupid title. It does give us a clue that this episode will show the demise of friendships and that the cast takes sides. They split up! The casts of NJ are all doing interviews online and on TV. Don't look online or any entertainment news on TV if you don't want to know who switches sides and all of that. I know who switches sides, but I will dance around the subject in the recap. But I will talk about it in the comment section. I doubt anyone cares if it's spoiled, but you never know. We got a long season ahead. Please! I hope the arguing isn't as bad as last year!
The cast is still down at the Shore. It looks beautiful and also fun! Of course, they are still divided. Jen and Bill A is with Dolores and Paul. Teresa and Louie went home because Gabriella is leaving for college. Rachel and John are with Adult Jen Fessler and her husband Jeff along with Danielle and Nate. Melissa and Joe are with Marge and her Joe--he really loves her, he's rubbing her feet, very clingy. I would hate it! But that's just me. Most women love to be pampered. Not me.
John asks Adult Jen F about the party the night before. He secretly wants to know why she is hanging around with the enemy, Teresa. Jen states that she never had a problem with Teresa, Rachel looks at her with daggers, she is mad as hell. She states in her talking head that Adult Jen couldn't stand Teresa and that now that Adult Jen has jumped ship, Rachel is done with her. She is very hurt and called Adult Jen F stupid.
Dolores asks Jen A what is going on between Melissa and her. Jen says she is not feeling her and is not a chump. Melissa tells Marge that Jen A spread rumors, so she is not happy with her. The bad feelings is mutual between these two women...
Melissa is throwing a Birthday Party for Joe. It's going to be an Italian theme party. She and Marge discuss what to do about Jen A because she might feel like the lone enemy there without Teresa. Melissa thinks she and Bull should attend. So, with that, Joe Gorga calls Bill and extends an invitation to him and his wife. Bill tells him thank you, but his wife Jen is still not in a good place with Melissa. Jen is not having it. She is still hurt from last year and thinks Joe's invite was not sincere. She is glad that Bill finally stood up for her. She says they are a team from now on. He will stand up for her or he will feel her wrath! Bill just smiles at her no matter what she says. Why is he always smiling?!
Teresa and all her girls are packing up for Gabriella. Gia is crying, all the girls are crying. Gia tells Gabriella that she is so proud of her for getting into the University of Michigan. It's a very had college to get into. Teresa is also crying. Teresa ex, Joe Guidice calls. Teresa can't look at him or she will cry. He tells them all this is a good thing. Louie comes in and tries to cheer them up too. Joe can't afford college, so Teresa and Louie are paying. I doubt Louie is paying, but Producers put Teresa on the spot and asked her if Louie is also paying. Of course she is going to say yes. Pretty sure only Teresa is paying. I saw a preview that Louie went through all of Teresa's money. So, there's that.
Teresa and Louie go outside. She tells him she is in her love bubble with him and no matter what happened at the party or with their enemies she has his love. What does enemies have to do with their love bubble? They are holding hands, clinging to each other while they bring up John Fuda, they rip him apart. Louie called him ugly and a loser. Louie you're no prize in the looks either so no room to talk. Teresa tells him he handled it with grace with John and she is sorry he has to deal with this. He says the same to her, she doesn't deserve any of this. I feel so bad what these two have to put up with. Not! Louie handled it with grace! What the... such an odd thing to say. Louie wrote on Instagram that Teresa has so much grace. I would not describe these two with the word grace.
Joe Gorga's party starts. It looks like fun. The men were doing shots on a blow-up doll's ass that John brought. Ass shots are not my style of fun, but to each their own.
Rachel is complaining about Adult Jen F's betrayal and Marge is talking about Jen A. Marge thinks Jen A should have shown up. Why? I wouldn't if I was her. Rachel agrees with me and says she wouldn't have shown up either.
Back home Teresa throws a going away dinner party for Gabriella at a restaurant. Louie's boys are there along with her daughters. It's a nice family scene. They all reminisce and have a nice time together. Cheers Gabriella! I hope she succeeds in whatever career that she decides to do. I am sure she will.
Back at the party John and Paul joke around with the other men and make up. Oh, and Frank is there. I thought he was off the show for good. He tells Joe that he misses him and that he is Starchy to his Hutch. What?!! Oh, and Frankie Jr. Isn't in Dolores' background family tagline. It's Paul and her daughter. Maybe Frank Jr. had enough of the show.
Marge, Rachel and Adult Jen F sit down. Marge is going to get her. She asks her about Teresa and Louie. Marge is going on and on about it, she is annoyed. Jackie sits down and takes Adult F's side. Marge and Rachel are not having it. Marge tells Adult Jen that she doesn't understand what she is doing, she hated them. Adult Jen is not budging, she now loves Teresa and will be friends with whoever she wants. Rache; starts crying about all of this. Adult Jen feels bad for Rachel, but she loves Teresa now! Rachel feels very betrayed, and Marge is not having what Adult Jen A is putting down. This is messy. Jen F told Marge she is not Marge's soldier, and she will do what she wants and be friends with who she wants. There is a lot of arguing going on and I am sure it will continue. Jackie is comforting Adult Jen and Marge and Rachel are talking about Jen F to Danielle, Rachel is still crying. The betrayal is real. Danielle agrees with Rachel and Marge--she says Adult Jen F isn't loyal and should never do that to her best friends.
Adult Jen F is trying with all her might to tell everyone that she is the best friend anyone could ever have! I don't know about that. What do you all think? Is Jen F a traitor or is Marge and Rachel being unreasonable? If someone does me harm and spread rumors about me. I wouldn't be too fond if my friend befriended that person who she knew for a minute and said she disliked. It's hurtful to do that to a longtime friend who you trusted. That's my take on this.
Oh yeah, and Joe Gorga gets a nice big Italian cannoli cake! Besides the arguing, there were a lot of people there having a lot of fun. Everyone wished him a Happy Birthday and it ended on a happy scene with the delicious cake! Who doesn't love cake?
To Be Continued...

And just like that, her name appears amongst my texts. A random Saturday morning text after silence for 5 months. She’s asking how I’m doing and if I’m still wearing the bracelet she got me for Christmas. My jaw about hit the floor when I read her name. The last month of dating was a blow out of epic proportions. She was claiming she was pregnant, attempting to smear me to my coworkers by sharing intimate private details about my life, showing up randomly at my condo and place of work, trying to extort me for money etc.
I’m just totally blown away that she would make contact again after all that. I won’t text her back. I didn’t even open the text I just deleted it. I know any amount of communication will open the door again and I can’t risk that. I feel a bit sad. We had a lot of history. It would have been nice to just catch up a bit. But, I know with her that’s not possible. I have some empathy for her mental illness and abuse she suffered as a child. I don’t really take so much personally. I hate that the abandonment cycle continues with me. I have to choose myself here. I hope she finds some peace and happiness.

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Yes im quoting Pilate But, realize how deeply the Internet can control Truth and History. What would happen if all these self-learning algorythms actually are intelligent? Or will be some day? What if they are so powerful they can transcend time to rewrite history and sometimes we notice?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Decent_Lecture_1514
I run a DnD group with kids aged 7-11 at my local YMCA, and some parents are trying to get the game outright banned. I have to have a meeting with both parents and HR Department and effectively present my case. Please help!
Originally posted to DnD
Thanks to u/PitaEnigma for suggesting this BoRU
EDITORS NOTE: because it's mentioned and some may not remember or been born when it happened, a quick synopsis of the satanic panic
The Satanic panic is a moral panic consisting of over 12,000 unsubstantiated cases of Satanic ritual abuse (SRA, sometimes known as ritual abuse, ritualistic abuse, organized abuse, or sadistic ritual abuse) starting in the United States in the 1980s, spreading throughout many parts of the world by the late 1990s, and persisting today.
Original Post May 9, 2024
Sorry if this is a longer post, but important context below ⬇️
So yeah I'm a program coordinator at our local YMCA and I run an after-school program (effectively am a glorified babysitter hahaha). This past school year I passively mentioned that I play a lot of DnD when one of the kids asked me if I had any plans that weekend, and it totally piqued their interest when I explained to them what the game was like/about. Naturally they asked if they could try and play and I figured sure why not, I'll write a fun and fam friendly one-shot for them.
They all absolutely loved it. It's turned into a proper campaign with about 7 of the 24 kids me and my coworkers look after consistently playing. I've had to limit the sessions to just 1-2 days of the 5 day school week, because I have other kids too that aren't interested in it, and I obviously still need to give them attention and interaction as well (and as you know DnD can be a very engaged and attention demanding). I thought this was a fair compromise. Days that it's nice outside we are always out running around, being active, playing sports -- but if it's a rainy day, or on our weekly Friday Movie Day, we generally play. It's been such a blast sharing something I love so deeply with kids who I care about so much.
So here comes the issue:
Almost every parent of the core group that plays loves that we are doing this (one even plays weekly and we bonded over it haha), but there is one child whose parents certainly do not; they want their kid just constantly active and engaged and playing sports, not playing "silly make believe", which I guess I get to a degree because this is kinda the MO of the YMCA traditionally; healthy active living.
​
I've explained that most days of the week we do just that, and that this is something we only do on Fridays or rain days when we are stuck inside, but they aren't budging. I think they have a misguided idea of the game and what it is, or maybe they are just fundamentally against it, I'm not sure. I don't think it's to the level of like the era of thought where media and the masses thought DnD was some kind of satanic game, but I feel like there could certainly be a bit of that.
​
Anyway they want it to stop immediately. I've told them I'm not forcing anyone to play, and that if they really feel that way they are within their rights to tell their child they don't want him playing, but they are trying to take it a step farther and get it banned. ALSO I would feel horrible if this child were forbade from playing while all his friends have a blast doing so. Just doesn't seem right.
I understand that it's a game that can involve more mature themes and gameplay, and probably isn't reeeeeeeeally for super young folk, but I feel the way I'm running it mitigates this for the most part: there's no PVP (so no bullying can happen), I'm dealing with waaaaaay less serious themes and stakes, and I don't even include any circumstances where they fight any other humanoids -- strictly just heroes fighting big bad monsters and saving towns. You know the drill.
So yeah long story short(ish) the parents of the one child have called a meeting with HR to discuss the playing of this game at the YMCA. I have it on Sunday. I'm confident I'm gonna have to effectively state my case and explain why I think this is not only an okay thing to be doing, but actually in fact a good thing. I don't know if I'll be able to fully sway them if their mind is already made up, all I can do is just speak my truth haha.
I do whole-heartedly think this game can be super beneficial for young folk. I'll spare you my long form thoughts, but between the teamwork and communication required and rewarded, the problem solving (both ethically and logically and mathematically), AND the improvisation emphasized, I think it stimulates a young mind very well. Lets them escape their own world for a bit and take agency and feel they have control, something young people so desperately desire.
So in conclusion, I'm kinda just writing this to get it off of my chest and vent, BUT I guess my questions would be:
​

• do you have any advice on how to properly communicate my points on why this game can be beneficial for young minds?

​

• Do you know of any other benefits I'm missing?

​

• have you ever had experiences similar to this?

Or maybe you disagree with me and think I'm out of line here, which is totally fair too. Just looking to start some dialogue.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Thackebr

I know it is a hassle, but if you get to keep Dnd, you might want to start requiring permission slips. That way, you could avoid this in the future.

The_Law_Of_Pizza

This will make it less likely for the OP to get a surprise angry parent, but I don't like the precedent of demanding permission slips for a mundane board game.
It sets up an expectation that D&D is different in some way, and gives ammunition to these weirdos who are still trapped in the Satanic Panic - it lets them point to the permission slips and say, "Look, even your own policies admit that this is something to be hidden behind barriers and parental approval."
At a certain point we have to stand up to these people in society and tell them that they're being ridiculous and that we won't concede to their demands under any circumstances. That takes a great deal of backbone by the YMCA administration, though.

~
probloodmagic

Geez. Really putting the "C" in YMCA. I imagine looking into how people fought back during the "Satanic Panic" might provide some good advice for this.

u/efrique had a great comment about handling a new round of the satanic panic
Here
Many offered sites that share good info about why DnD is helpful and beneficial to kids
thatdanglion

You can point the leadership and parents to the numerous studies showing the many ways playing D&D is beneficial for kids, too. One, for example.

g3rmb0y

I just looked through this thread, there's a ton of great stuff here.
Some additional good orgs that talk about the therapy side are: https://gametogrow.org/ https://geektherapeutics.com/ https://rollforkindness.com/ (That's me) https://www.thebodhanagroup.org/

dgendbreau

D&D has also been shown to be useful in teaching kids about social skills, creative writing, theory of mind, mental math, team work, problem solving etc.
https://dnd.wizards.com/resources/educators

Update May 13, 2024
Made a post a few days ago about how I run a DnD campaign for some kids in an after-school program I run for the YMCA, and subsequently how the parents of one of the kids was trying to get the game banned and whole operation shut down. I wasn't sure the best way to make an update, but I linked the whole original post above so you can have a read if you'd like ^
So firstly genuine genuine genuine big thanks to everyone who took the time to read and respond with input and suggestions. It means a ton and really helped a lot. So I'm just gonna jump right in with what happened.
Firstly, I took the advice about getting testimonies from parents who were super happy that I was playing this game with their kids -- we weren't allowed to have outside visitors involved in the actual meeting with HR, but I got emails and messages from mostly every parent (besides the one complaining about it lmao) to voice their support and why they think this is not a harmful thing, and in fact actually a good thing. I really think this helped a lot and was a big factor, so thanks everyone who suggested. It's not something I would've thought to do on my own ahahah.
I didn't want to come in toooooo heavy with the articles and very clear scientific proof about the benefits of developing minds playing TTRPGs', because (as it turned out) this was actually more just conversational and "pleasant" than I thought it was gonna be, at least from HRs side. I did mention to them the multiple studies done on this exact scenario, but it turned out I didn't even really need them. There were definitely moments of tension, but this was a more civil conversation than I anticipated from all parties involved. I'm not sure if it was the fact that the parents who complained had to talk to me in person WITH my bosses and HR reps present and it calmed them down a bit? But yeah anyway.
I wish it was a more dramatic story, but basically I just levelled with them person to person.
People who said they were betting on it being a Christian, satanic-panic angle: you were right, mostly anyway. As in, that was definitely a main part of their argument. They are in fact Christian and were concerned, but it was really coming from a place of ignorance about what this game is about, and they specifically didn't understand the fact that the DM (me) can entirely control what the contents of it is. I'm assuming they just googled DnD and probably saw some things they didn't agree with, but once I explained that the way we were playing it included no demon spawn or worshipping, or any killing of other humans, or allowing of murder-hobo activity, they softened up a bit. I told them it's a strictly G/PG rated experience that I'm curating for them. And of course I explained the social and academic benefits of DnD, and how much of a bonding activity this is for the group, and how much their son in particular loves it. This helped big time.
Ironically, it was their other argument about wanting active engagement for their child (ie; sports lol) that was a little harder to combat. From their and HRs perspective, this whole program and the YMCAs MO IS in fact healthy active engagement. I explained that most days of the week we are doing just that. I'm a tennis instructor as well and have played sports all my life (and they know this), so I tried to assure them that I get their child a SOLID amount of engagement (plus free tennis lessons effectively haha). I'll save you the whole back and forth, but this was a majority of our 45 minute meeting.
Im trying to wrap this up with a bow but not sure exactly how, so I'll just finish with the bullet points from the end of the discussion:
• The game is not banned! HOORAY HOORAY!
• I am now only allowed to play it with them once a week (on Friday), but all things considered I'll take this as a win!
• and best of all, the complained parents are letting their kid continue to play!!!! I'm sending them a detailed summary of the contents of my game so they can look it over, but they said with it now "officially" only being once a week, and with a better understanding of what it actually is, they will let him to continue to play. I'm so unbelievably happy.
So boom. Happy ending. Again big thanks to everyone for giving their advice and linking resources; it helped so much and meant a lot. This is a big win for "the community" I feel, at the risk of sounding too corny. You are all the best. I love this game so much 🥹
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP explains how they made DnD G/PG rated

So the method I've taken is that this is mainly an explorative and mystery solving campaign. There is combat occasionally, but it's heeeeeavy on the RP aspect of these aforementioned things (aka 7 kids screaming over each other lmao)
I briefly mentioned in the previous post that when I do involve combat I don't include any that js player versus any humanoids -- so no "killing" of bandits or raiders or pirates or anything resembling, it's strictly taking out big bad monsters, or a big spidebats/owlbear or whatever when it does happen. This takes a big amount of the potential nastiness out: Timmy cant go home saying "Mom I killed 4 dudes today!", regardless if he understands the deeply political and socio-economic rooted reasons why it may be justified he did that 🙄 hahahah.
So yeah eliminated that entirely, strayed away from words like "kill" or "dead" or certainly "murdered", and have a very very "heroes save the town from mishaps" type adventure. For a quick example our last plot hook/beat (which ended up taking up like 3 Fridays because of how long it can take with young kids hahaha) involved them stumbling into a town and discovering that it holds the map to an ancient treasure that is rumoured to be buried in a magical woods nearby. Maaaaaany puzzles and skill checks later they found it deep in the woods by a magic tree and had to answer (very basic) riddles from the speaking and living tree in order to get access to it. They succeeded and absolutely loved it and there was no combat at all.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/IcemanEx54
GM Locked Me Out Of Interacting With Other Players Because I Got Confused
Originally posted to rpghorrorstories
TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, controlling behavior, sexism
Original Post March 6, 2024
I'm a player in a tabletop RPG campaign and I just wanted to vent about this session. The GM uses a "rules light" homebrew system and it's his homebrew world as well. He's been doing this campaign for years now, but I just joined through a mutual friend after another player left recently.
When I joined the campaign, the GM had told me he wanted me to be from a particular country as a prince, and since it was his homebrewed world, I went with it. The country I'm a prince of is a massive empire that has conquered many lands. I wanted to be a morally good character so I made up a backstory where my prince had a secret romance with a commoner so it gave me more empathy and understanding than my other royal peers would have. Then in session 1, he had the commoner immediately break up with me since the players were all leaving the city session 1.
Several sessions later, there is a carnival being hosted in the empire and all the players are attending. The players split up and my part began with my character watching as a mentally handicap child was put in the dunk tank and was being dunked against his will. So I had my character help the child and stop the game (This isn't relevant to the larger story but I thought it was really weird). Then I am told I have to go to the "main stage" which is just a strip club seemingly. And of course, walking around topless serving drinks is my character's commoner love interest that I made in session 0. The GM laughs a bit and comments, "Isn't it funny? Look at what your ex has to do without you." I have my character give her the shirt off his back and we go to the outskirts of the carnival to find a quiet place to talk, but then the carnival was ambushed by some enemies as arrows and fire rained down on the parade.
Suddenly, my character and his ex are teleported back to the main stage and the GM starts jumping back and forth between all the player characters asking what we want to do without any sort of initiative and if we don't respond quickly enough he skips to another player. I ask, "What direction are the arrows coming from?" GM, "You can't tell". "Which direction to the palace?" I ask. "You don't know," he tells me. I'm honestly genuinely confused about what to do here and my mind goes blank, but then the GM has my bodyguard (a Brienne of Tarth type) tell me to follow her so I do. As he cuts back and forth, another player loses his mom in the chaos, I tell GM, "I want to help him find his mom." "You can't see him" GM tells me. Then I ended up surrounded by 12 ambushers in the "Pleasure Gardens". GM asked what I would do. I say since the carnival is burning, I look for a piece of wood on fire and since it's the pleasure gardens maybe there's some oil I can spill and light on fire to separate myself, my bodyguard, and ex who are all with me from the ambushers. He tells me there's no oil and then I'm held down by the men. I tried to escape, but he says I failed (he just did a dice roll behind his screen and didn't tell me the results). I am then hogtied by the ambushers with my bodyguard and ex and thrown in a cart. Meanwhile, the other two players have stolen a cart and are escaping. I try to do a goofy wave as my character is tied up towards my companions and he just says, the carts never pass each other so the other players don't see you. Before the session ends he tells me my bodyguard is dead.
After the session, I think my body language showed I was a bit bummed. So GM pipes in, "You want to know why you failed that encounter?" He proceeded to tell me it was because I followed my bodyguard and there was no way a woman could have protected me and I needed to make the choice instead. Some of the other players chimed in and said it was surprising my bodyguard failed since in the lore she was a 20-year veteran who survived "The Great War". The GM keeps defending his choice. Then he started making self-deprecating jokes about how he just sucks then and he's the worst GM ever until the other players all reassure him it's fine. I kind of just sat there shell-shocked.
His system reduces dice rolls to a rarity and he does them all himself as a "way to keep tension". I'm honestly more about hanging out with my friends than judging the quality of any campaign or system but this was my first "combat" of any sort in the campaign and I just felt so helpless in this system and it was frustrating. Plus there are no insight or persuasion rolls, just what the GM claims "my character would know" and "how his NPCs would act". So I'm not sure how I was supposed to handle this encounter. Being a GM myself, I thought he was using my bodyguard character to get me back on track, but I thought wrong. I honestly wouldn't have minded if he was just railroading me for a plot point, but him trying to manipulate me and saying his hands were tied when he essentially locked me out of interacting with the other players for the rest of the session is what bothers me the most.
Edit: Changed gaslighting to manipulating since I was using the term wrong and don't want to dilute it's meaning.
Update: GM Defends Style And Told Me He Owns My Character March 20, 2024
This is an update from my post a couple of weeks ago.
One of my friends in the group reached out to me and asked me to not leave the group. He told me there were only 2 sessions left and asked me to stick around as a favor to him. I told him I'd reach out to GM and see if we could get on the same page. So I texted the GM and told him I wanted to talk because I had some concerns after the way everything went down last session. He was down and we talked on the phone a couple of days later. To my surprise, the first thing he did was profusely apologize. I hadn't been responding in our group chat, partly because I was mad and partly because my partner had a death in her family. I guess me not responding caused him to dwell on the last session a bunch. He said he was going to retcon my bodyguard's death and keep her alive. I even told him that the treatment of women in the campaign was bad and that it was making the story worse, he told me that it is something that he can work on being better about too. I was surprised, but all this gave me a lot of optimism for this conversation.
I was honest and I told him that his homebrew system is very difficult for me since I don't have a character sheet. So my character doesn't have abilities, he doesn't level up, and I can't do things like roll investigate or perception rolls which makes it hard for me to make informed decisions. I told him it makes me very risk adverse because I don't have things like HP to even know if I'm in danger. He responded to this by telling me I shouldn't worry about that because his GM style rewards me if I roleplay well enough. He went on to say he hates systems with things like perception rolls because that's "Not how real life works".
I also lamented the fact that I also don't get to interact with the other players much. I didn't mention this in my first post, but he plays with all of us in a Discord call but he only plays with us one at a time, and the two of us who aren't playing are expected to listen and record notable quotes for his notes. He'll switch between characters where each player gets 2-3 "scenes" in a 3 hour session. He has our characters all spread out across the country Game of Thrones style and I've only gotten to play with another player in 2 sessions so far. This was also why that carnival scene was so frustrating because all 3 players were finally in the same place and we were trying to find each other and he just kept saying, "You don't see them".
He told me that he doesn't do party-based adventures because you can't get character growth that way. I pushed back and said I've seen awesome character growth in traditional DnD style games in the past, it just depends on the group. I also said he's just making things harder for himself by trying to run three campaigns instead of one. And if we don't have character sheets and aren't in a party then this is all more dramatic improv than a tabletop RPG.
He responded by saying his way is better because it creates a real story and that I should be happy because he made me the main character. (I guess that is what me being the prince means?) He then went on a rant about how much he loves the game world he created and he's very grateful that our characters brought it to life. But then he says that since it's his world, he feels like he owns our characters now and that after the campaign he wants us all to sign off on him using the characters to write books and a screenplay. And if we don't he'll just change their names and do it anyway. He then thanks me and tells me that this campaign is the main thing that has been stopping him from self-harm and going to dark places. Then he says he has to go and he rushes to hang up before I can say anything else.
I'm dumbfounded after that rapid-fire series of bombshells. I've known since the first few sessions that this was barely a TTRPG, but I got to hang out with my friends so I didn't care what it was. It was nice to hang out with old friends a couple times each month. Then the story got weird, and there was so much misogyny, and then I had the horrible session that caused my original post. Then in this conversation, he throws up even more red flags that I'm not blind to, but he is also planting a seed that he may harm himself without the campaign which is not something I want on my conscience. I'm just exhausted at this point.
TLDR: GM says that abilities and parties make TTRPGs worse and he wants to use our characters to write books/movies after the campaign because he owns them since we're playing in his world. He says he may fall back to self-harm without the campaign, making me feel guilty for wanting to leave.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
ShitThroughAGoose

Any update to this?

OOP

I ended up doing one more session for the finale. There was some drama during that session and when I mentioned that I didn't want to play in the next season of the campaign. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post about it again. I might still, but I think I want to take some time and reflect on everything.

Final Update May 11, 2024
[Final Update] Moving On From My Toxic DM And Losing A Friend In The Process
This will hopefully be my last post on this sub for a long time, but I’ve been using this place to vent about my toxic situation for a while so I figured I might as well post how everything concluded and what happened when I left. I’m going to reflect on everything and recap the important parts so no one has to read 3 posts.
It all started when I decided to start DMing to keep in touch with some college friends after graduation. During my first campaign, one of the players, Pirate, asked if his friend, Colorado, could join. I didn't really know Colorado, but I figured, "the more, the merrier."
Colorado had some issues early on, giving unsolicited advice to everyone on how to play and viewing newer or shy players as “side characters”. However, he frequently missed sessions, only showing up for less than half of them for the first few years so nothing came to a head early on. Then, Colorado decided he wanted to bring back his tabletop campaign from his college days and started trying to recruit players after my sessions. Pirate suggested I join the campaign, promising that Colorado was a better DM than player. Since I had been the Forever DM up to that point, I agreed to give it a go.
I created a character who was part of the royal family but enjoyed interacting with commoners in the slums, even having a secret girlfriend from that background. After that, Colorado also started hitting me up to help with the campaign. I ended up photoshopping character art for a bunch of his NPCs and I even drew his world map for him. I didn't mind doing it, as I do that kind of stuff for fun.
For our first session, Colorado had already created character sheets for us based on our backstories, but only he could see them. Colorado would also roll all the dice himself so “all we had to focus on is roleplaying”. We played one on one in different "scenes" that could last around 30 minutes to an hour each. We usually had around 2 to 4 scenes per session, depending on what Colorado thought was important. During the game, Colorado asked us to write down quotes from him and the other players when it wasn't our turn.
I had to wait for well over an hour before I could finally play. My first session was on rails. I mostly just had to repeat after Colorado during a ceremony. Afterwards, I got to sneak out of the castle and meet with my commoner girlfriend, but Colorado immediately had her break up with me. Then I was told that I had to leave the city. I was essentially locked out of my hanging out in the slums and commoner girlfriend subplots. NPCs generally disliked my morally good character, especially my sister who was depicted as purely evil towards me. Despite my efforts to mend the relationship, she never changed her mind and Colorado never rolled any dice to determine that. Later Colorado revealed to me the character was based on his ex-girlfriend, who was originally intended to be the player character from my country before they broke up.
Eventually, I finally got to interact with another player, Soldier, who I had really good chemistry with and we had a really fun scene. Which Colorado exclaimed, “See! This is why I keep you apart. It makes these moments so much more epic!” But I’m just thinking that if we were in a party, every session could be this epic.
Then Colorado got busy. He went to some alternative medicine nature retreat and didn’t pay his rent the whole time he was gone so he got evicted. At that point, the campaign went on hiatus as people got busy and Colorado was couch hopping. It was during that time I considered the campaign over and made my first post because I thought it fit the sub. Then a year after the last session, Colorado started trying to organize the group to do 3 more sessions to finish the campaign. I just ghosted the group chat for a while, but Pirate’s roommate is a player in the campaign I DM so Pirate started hopping on the call asking me to come back for the finale. Pirate told me that it would be different this time because all of our characters were going to meet up for the finale and he really wanted to play with me. I naively agreed to give the game a second chance.
The first of those three sessions led to this post and this follow up.
[TLDR - I never got to meet up with the other characters. Colorado made my ex a stripper and I was captured by invaders with no dice rolls to prevent it. I had a conversation with him about my concerns after the last session. He apologized and agreed to make changes saying he needed the campaign for his mental health.]
Colorado decided to have a single super finale session, which I reluctantly attended because of sunk cost fallacy. I was imprisoned, beaten and whipped, separated from my girlfriend and recently resurrected bodyguard. A deus-ex ninja offered to help me escape, but I wanted to save all the prisoners. So I helped the commoners escape with the ninja before saving my girlfriend. My bodyguard got captured, but I made sure my girlfriend escaped and then I went to save my bodyguard because I wasn’t letting her die after she just got resurrected. I tried to find my bodyguard but every door was locked and I was forced into a long one on one fight with a guard that would make John Carpenter blush. I lost the fight due to an unknown -2 modifier on my fighting rolls, leading to my re-imprisonment.
Pirate tried to board a boat to reach my location, but was unsuccessful. Colorado informed him that the sailors refused to let him on the ship because they didn't like his tone. Fortunately, Soldier saved me and we agreed to stop the big bad and rescue my bodyguard together. With a squad of Soldier's peers, we pursued the big bad into the woods. Without any rolls, all the other soldiers were sniped by archers.
Finally, the two of us reached the clearing where the big bad and his followers were. We were outnumbered about 30-2. My bodyguard and the other commoners were tied to a tree. Soldier was the same race as the villain so he approached while I stayed hidden. He delivered an awesome passionate speech against the big bad's actions saying that it wasn’t what their ancestors would want. I’m sitting there waiting and hoping for a persuasion roll… and nothing. Colorado says the big bad doesn’t change his mind and he sets the tree on fire, causing my bodyguard and the commoners to burn to death. Soldier and I retreated into the woods to end the campaign.
Pirate was supposed to have a scene after us, but he fell asleep because it was past 1am. Colorado kept trying to call Pirate on the phone. I joke, “Hey, we’re old now, being up past midnight isn’t as easy as it used to.” To which Colorado replies, “I just thought Pirate had more respect for me than this.” The Discord call becomes quiet and after Colorado starts focusing on Soldier and I. He wants to know why we’re not discussing the ending more. I remarked that it was a bit of a downer and I’m tired. Then Colorado starts spiraling, saying that RPGs are just another medium that he failed at just like film and music. HE STARTS CRYING and hangs up from the Discord call. Soldier and I stayed on and had a short “That was awkward” conversation. I don’t know Soldier well so I didn’t say much about my grievances with the campaign and eventually we ended up just talking about Baldur’s Gate 3 for an hour.
The next day, I wake up to a barrage of texts from Colorado apologizing, mansplaining how hard it is to be a DM as if I’ve never done it myself. He then starts sending me messages with all his ideas for my character in the next season and how he promises I’ll have more freedom next time. I wouldn’t understand, but he NEEDED to do the prison sequence and my bodyguard to die for my character growth, but next season will be different. I tell him I’m not doing another season. Colorado replies saying that he thought I’d say that because Pirate (who was apparently not sleeping) told him Soldier and I were bitching about the campaign after the session. Colorado said that once I get over it, we can start talking about season 3. I reaffirmed my stance. Then Colorado texts me one last time and asks if I’ll still make his maps and character art even if I don’t play. I said no again.
It's been two months since I last heard from Colorado or Pirate. We used to play games and talk about pro wrestling all the time, but now there's been no contact. A lot of the comments on my posts helped me realize I was prioritizing Colorado’s mental health over my own and I felt like it was my responsibility to support his campaign because he constantly referenced how important it was to his mental health. Intentional or not, he preyed upon my empathy. I’m not his Giving Tree and I shouldn’t be left a stump for a campaign where he doesn’t even want us to affect the world.
I sometimes worry Pirate is going through a similar situation to me, but for a longer period of time. Pirate introduced me to Colorado, and he's really loyal to him. I think that slowed down my exit from the group because I trusted Pirate to be my friend as well. I remember opening up to Pirate about a panic attack I had while Colorado was spiraling one day, and he just shrugged it off as me being dramatic. It's frustrating. I want both of them to be happy, but I can't make that happen for them, especially if it comes at the expense of my own well-being.
I ended up venting to some of my irl friends and they really supported and listened to me which is why I didn’t feel a need to vent here. I learned a lot about what not to do when DMing from this campaign and it made me reevaluate my approach to playing RPGs. Now I'm in a group with my irl friends and it's a blast. I can relax and just have fun playing again.
TLDR - I started DMing to stay connected with college friends who were scattered across the country. One player, Pirate, introduced me to Colorado, who eventually took over as the DM. Colorado had some unconventional methods, such as not using character sheets and controlling all the dice rolls. The game became focused on his storyline and my character had limited agency. Despite this, I gave the campaign a second chance. In the final session, things went poorly, and Colorado had a breakdown. Despite his apologies and promises for the next season, I decided not to continue playing. I have not heard from Colorado or Pirate since. I now play with my real-life friends and it's much more enjoyable.
RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDED INFO
TicketPrestigious

Glad you're doing better. That does sound like quite a toxic situation.
If I've understood it right, the stuff with Pirate 'falling asleep' but actually listening in to you and Soldier talking feels like a massive red flag to me. I understand worrying about him since you were/felt like you were friends, but if he's enabling Colorado with that sort of stuff then it's probably best to move on.

OOP

Yeah even the best case would be that Pirate woke up after Colorado left the call and just overheard Soldier and me talking without us realizing because his mic was muted and we assumed he had passed out and then he snitched after which is still a bad look tbh. I had been distancing myself from Pirate since he invalidated my panic attack prior to this. It's just hard to be vulnerable with someone again after that.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Hi! I hope someone can give me some advice on this. I made this account just to post my feelings lol.
I (23f) was talking to this guy (28m) sometime around March, we met on a dating app, and we spoke for about 2 weeks. He asked me out at some point in those 2 weeks and we went on a date. During the first week I am going to be honest, I was a little hesitant about him. I don’t know why, but I guess he was just not my usual “type”. I’m trying to get away from the idea of having a type which is why I continued to talk to him, and after a while I was starting to like him. After our date, I ended up liking him more than I expected. We both were on the same page about wanted to be in a relationship. The next day after our date, he sends me a text about how he thinks we are too different and then basically ends up cutting me off, and blocks me lol. It hurt a lot, I was living away from home at the time and I was alone in my apartment with my thoughts, it wasn’t great. I felt like I didn’t even get to say anything before he ghosted me, and I know he probably didn’t care about my feelings enough to but it still hurt. It also hurt because when he was driving me back home after our date, he brought up when we will see each other next and we were planning on hanging out the following weekend. Of course I understand he has every right not to show the same feelings as I did, and feelings change overnight.
I honestly think I didn’t take it well, emotionally I am all over the place. It has been months and I am still not over him, I cry about it sometimes lol. Mostly because of the fact that I miss talking to him, and I wish he did give it a chance (that might just be me being selfish saying that) I am trying my best to keep myself busy so I don’t have time to think about him, but there’s only so much I can do. If I’m in the car or on a bus or even at the gym, he just comes to mind. I have talked to other guys after all this, but I just can’t get myself to be interested enough in them to continue speaking to them after a few texts. I just don’t have the mental or emotional capacity anymore, so I have been on a break in my dating life.
He was exactly the guy I wanted to be in a relationship with. I know I didn’t know him well, but I believe that being genuinely interested also means taking the risk to pursue someone intentionally, and I haven’t felt that way for any guy in years.
I did speak to him a month after he cut me off, and his reasoning was that he just didn’t see himself marrying me and I wasn’t his type, he was attracted to me physically but other aspects he wasn’t and he wouldn't really elaborate. He also said that it was better to just say his peace and leave before we hung out the second time and feelings were even more complicated, understandable. But even after that I still think about him. I am a pretty confident and secure person, I really don’t know how I am allowing myself to be this hung up on a guy I barely know. I am trying my best I really am, I do everything I can to make the most out of my days, but again, there's only so much. Like I will just start tearing up if I think about him for more than 5 mins lol.
This is the very short version of what happened. I don’t know, maybe someone can relate, even a little, I am very curious to hear stories or perspectives. Thank you all.
TLDR: I met this guy I really liked, he didn’t reciprocate those feelings and I am having a hard time getting over that.

So I 17 female just had the hardest time in my life rn, so let me explain
My grandma who is 59 and my mom who is 35 is getting on me rn and they are making me seem like I'm this horrible person and called me names
So this summer I was supposed to go visit my mom in another state for the summer and see my 3 siblings all under 11 ( I'm the oldest ) now my friend Kayla birthday is in June and since I would be away for the summer Kayla decided to schedule her birthday at an really super popular and expensive amusement park In July 10th or July 11th , I didn't know how long I was gonna be visiting my mom so I ASKED my grandma and my mom that when they Do schedule my flight can they book a round trip to come back around July 6th.
Right now it's may and my mom and grandmother whwre planning on having me leave after May 23rd , I asked my grandma is it would be possible I could spend the rest of May with my mom and the entire month of June and a few days of July and Cole back.
She said No . I asked her why and she got really pissed at me and yelled at me about how these airline tickets are too expensive to only stay for a month. I explained to her that I promised I would be there for my friend so she don't have to reschedule and my friends mom works literally 7 days a week so my friends mom would have to take work off her schedule to take us. My grandma got really mad and said that I'm choosing my friends over my family, I explained that I'm sorry and that I think I'm managing my time right and I'm still gonna see my mom and siblings and I'll still be able to go to my friends birthday thing ahe planned for all of us. My grandma told me that bes gonna book a One - way ticket for me and I'll come back July 27th, now my friend who's birthday I was gonna miss was at my house having a sleepover so she was hearing everything btw, and my grandma called me selfish and a hoe and I went back to my room crying where my friend said it's okay and she can push back her amusement park day to a weekend after school starts in August because she really wants me to be included bc I'm her bsf. And as we where talking I called my mom and I explained the situation and my mom said " ( my name ) your friends are gonna be there all year long the entire time your there you will see them at school everyday and your little bf too, I'm your mom and you will be back July 27th which gives you 13 days before school to do whatever but me and your siblings haven't seen you since Thanksgiving 2023" at this point I was really stressed and my friend was very understanding, so I went back to my grandma to tell her that I will stay the whole summer but she was on the phone with my mom making the situation worse yelling at me and cussing at me and I lost my cool and started crying and I yelled at them and my grandma was telling me how I was ruining her honeymoon bc she was gonna go to Vegas and btw ( my grandma is still gonna be here in July she said she's going to Vegas or whatever when I FIRST leave ) so now I have this weight on my shoulders full of guilt and I tried to explain how I wast choosing friends over family I was just managing my time but they got really upset and said some really harsh stuff,
Eventually my grandma came into my room with my mom on the phone bc I was so upset I blocked my mom and my mom started telling me how ungrateful and selfish I am and to " Think of my little siblings because they think im still coming to visit them " and I yelled back saying I am I am literally trying to figure things out, and then my grandma and mom said " we are booking a one way ticket and your mom will decide when you come back " ans I got upset and was like " No " and I told them how now they are just forcing and Gaslighting me into a bunch of things and it needs to stop . They didn't listen and in the end my mom said " You know what ( my name ) Fu*k you and I'm no longer your mother goodbye "
Please someone tell me what to do I feel so trapped ....

I don’t know why I keep giving my NMom chances or think she’ll change. I know she won’t, but for some odd reason I try to see the good in everyone. Below is a conversation she and I had today via text. For some context, Memorial Day weekend is very busy for me, I’ve got concerts or events happening everyday. I’m a SAHM but also a musician who is involved with a lot of things. However Memorial Day weekend is also important to my family and people throw parties and stuff. I live 90 minutes from them all and my parents still visit us once every one or two weeks to see their granddaughter.
Me: I don’t need you over here next weekend NMom: I know…. Me: Plus if you were here it would probably get in the way. Like I said Saturday-Monday I have stuff going on. NMom: It kind of sounds dismissive….like you don’t need us in your life….l Me: I did not say that NMom: It sounds that way……we’ve always enjoyed Memorial Day….(cousin who lost her husband, always has MDay party) is already crying over it. Yesterday was a year that (husband) went into the hospital….we were both crying…. Me: No but when you’re here it’s hard to relax when you’re asking what I’m doing or why I’m watching something NMom: Good grief…of course it’s all my fault….of course… Thanks a lot, mom…..you gave us enough…I don’t need you anymore…. Bye…thanks Me: I did not say any of that NMom: Yes you did!! You can’t relax with me?? I enjoy and look forward to visits…. Me: I did not say I don’t need you NMom: Well, that’s good….but I need you too. Me: and (my 22mo daughter) enjoys the visits, but I also need some me time and that is few and far between. NMom: I hope so….i miss her every single day and thought and prayed for her in church….that she would start walking and talking When you are a mom, there’s never me time. I would go to school and never have 5 minutes alone…..I’d get you at (babysitter) or you’d ride home with me. As you got to school age…..and I couldn’t even send you across to street to see grandma because she was gone…. Me: Yes I know there’s no time. But a few minutes to myself would be nice once in awhile. NMom: it’s called nap time I guess…..
*A little backstory, she was a 1st grade teacher for 37 years, before I got to kindergarten I would be at a babysitters who was also a nurse and growing up I had severe asthma and other health problems so this babysitter was the only person my NMom trusted to take care of me when she was teaching.
The conversation continued but it went back again all about her. Every day I deal with realizing how much love I have for my daughter, but with that comes intense PTSD of realizing what I never had growing up. Also my Nmoms parents use to live next door. But it was the country so next door was still half a mile down the road. She has lived on the same street her whole life, all 73 years.
Also, my daughter who will be 2 in July is the absolute light of my life and a true miracle: when she was born she had to be hooked up to an ECMO machine for the first week of her life. I didn’t hold her in my arms until she was a week old. She only had a 1 in 5 chance but she made it. She was in the NICU for 46 days. She is babbling like mad and is very close to walking. Because she was in the NICU for so long, her core strength is a little behind but we work with a physical therapist once a week. Every time we go to a doctor for check ups they all say how amazing she is and how well she is doing. But that doesn’t stop my NMom from picking apart my parenting.
I’m tired, yall. She’ll never accept me but yet says all the time “you don’t know how much I love you” and some days I just want to scream “NO YOU DONT, YOU CHOOSE CERTAIN PARTS OF ME TO LOVE BUT NEVER ACCEPTED ME FOR ME.”
Have I mentioned I’m tired?