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So my wife and I have been together for 8 years, married for 3. Both in our mid-30s and now have a toddler. She works in the tech world, I'm in real estate. As a couple, we do well financially and contribute roughly 50/50 depending on how I do from year-to-year (sometimes maybe more like 60/40 in her favor, other times 60/40 in mine). We don't have any major issues though we still deal with little annoying arguments about dumb shit like most married couples with a new child.

• My wife has always been a little jealous of my work/life balance as my own boss and I understand why. Real estate can be a cushy gig when you're not greedy and decent at the job. The downside is that every day I wake up not knowing when my next paycheck is coming - which is definitely stressful at times. My wife (let's call her Elle) has a well-paid salary position with good benefits (namely FREE health insurance for her entire family). And about a year ago she finished a 6-figure masters degree to help push her further in her career and create more professional opportunity for herself. Unfortunately, she's miserable with her job. I get it, her boss sucks, the why is kind of irrelevant. For almost 2 months now she's emotionally drained every day and on the verge of tears almost every night. I'd want to leave too.
  
• So we came up with a plan. While I've been in my industry for awhile, I just branched off and started my own business within it about a year ago. It's gone well so far and should have a bright future but it's still very early and likely going to experience it's fair share of bumps in the road along the way. Also, I'm not super entrepreneurial and I only work as hard as I need to in order to enjoy the life we've created for ourselves (think 30-40 hours per week vs 50-60+ like the "grind & hustle" mindset bros on Insta). A healthy work/life balance is more important to me than retiring at 50 but being exhausted and missing my kid's childhood.
  
• Elle's Master's Degree is in Business Development and Marketing. What a coincidence - I have a company that needs to be developed and marketed, Elle wants to market a company and be in charge of it's growth/development. So I suggest "why don't you come grow my company and help me expand it? Not only will it help provide for us financially in the long-run but you will have that freedom that you've been yearning for since forever." She agrees it's a perfect fit. Likely two steps back to take three steps forward over the next couple years but totally worth the early sacrifices. So the next step is leaving her job. But that takes a bit of planning for a few reasons.
  
• One - health insurance/salary/bonus timing. We need to be smart about this so we don't end up taking the L for no reason if it's avoidable without much sacrifice. Two - alignment of some of my transactions closing and paydays associated. Three - we have a contract with a nanny until the end of July for our toddler that runs us roughly $3k/mo. The plan we ultimately decided on was to have her give 4-weeks notice at end of June / early July. If they boot her that day, whatever we can handle it. But losing her will be a big hit for them in her role so they'll likely have her help to find/train a replacement at the very least before leaving. Once leaving entirely by early August, she wants to be a stay-at-home-mom with our child for 6-8 weeks until they hit 1y/o and can go to daycare. It's a pivotal time in our child's development and being able to be a significant part of it will be wonderful for them both and I desperately want it for them.
  
• BUT! The idea has always been to come work with me full-time after that and sending our child to daycare during the work day. Our expenses are built on a dual-income household and we now also have 6-figure student loan debt from Elle's grad degree AND a new (to us) expense in health insurance for the family. If the work with me isn't a fit for her or we just can't seem to make the numbers work out after our runway has been used up, she would go back to corporate America and find a new job. We even took out a HELOC on our home just as a failsafe for liquidity if absolutely necessary so we wouldn't have to pull from any penalized/taxed retirement accounts.
  
• Well we found out this weekend that THREE sets of couples we are mutually friends with locally are transitioning to a single-income home with a SAHM for their new children. She told me tonight after chatting with them that she wants to take an extended leave from working full-time so she can spend important time with our child instead of sending them to daycare. When I asked Elle what that meant and how long she was planning, she said "indefinitely". Which to her just basically means "until I'm ready to go back". We got into a big fight because I explained to her that we are not in a financial position to support ourselves off my COMMISSION-ONLY income that can be highly variable with no benefits. Sure we could manage for a handful of months but not indefinitely. Our mutual friends choosing to do it have different circumstances - namely husbands in very safe and financially secure salary-based roles with benefits (and additionally wives with only moderate income jobs that won't be dramatically missed when accounting for the savings of childcare expenses).
  
• Elle feels like I'm not supporting her and said she feels very pressured to continue working and "provide" with a stable salary and healthcare. She doesn't want to miss important moments with our child and feels like the only way to ensure that happens is if she stops working full-time and instead does little "side hustle" type work in the evenings after the baby is put to sleep. As a reference, the side hustles are learning affiliate marketing, blogging, paid reviewing, selling old stuff on FB marketplace, etc. It's not like she wants to start her own company on the side instead of working for mine. She also keeps bringing up how she supported me in my professional transition into real estate many years ago and carried the brunt of the financial obligations but I won't do the same for her. Which I feel like is an unfair comparison. I was transitioning from one career to another and working part-time jobs during the 6-8 months it took me to get ramped up into my very real full-time position in real estate. She wants to transition from work to no work and have me agree to support that.
  
• I can't seem to help her see that logically it's not about a lack of support. I showed my support for her transition into a career with more personal freedom when I told her she could quit her job tomorrow as long as she had a plan for when the baby went to daycare in a few months. Whether that's a new job in the corporate world or working with me to grow the family business or any other income-replacing endeavor. I don't care what it is as long as it's bringing in legitimate income or working towards that with a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like THAT is supporting her choice to leave her toxic circumstance. But what I don't support is committing to a single income when we are just not stable enough to handle it. And when she said she felt pressured I explained that her statement seems selfish because she's asking ME to take on all of OUR financial responsibility with a young child so that she can stay at home and not work while I also pay for our new healthcare obligations AND pay off her student loan debt that she just got. It literally makes zero sense to me why she can't see that this is our reality and I would also choose to not work if it was an option but unfortunately it puts far too much burden on the now sole-earning spouse to handle it all. I know a lot of people do it but it's not as impactful if a spouse goes from being a teacher at $40k/yr to a SAHM that saves the family $20k/year in childcare. It's only a $20k net loss. Elle is a comfortable 6-figure employee so I just don't think it's fair to ask or even realistic to expect me to agree to. Sure I COULD work 80 hours a week and make more money by investing more time but why should I have to? She's always been very professionally driven (hence the recent Master's Degree) and it seems unfair to build a life on the expectation of two incomes just to bail as soon as our obligations get more complicated and then expect me to pick up the slack by myself. I would not expect Elle to do it for me so I'm frustrated that she thinks it's ok.
  

Anyways - Am I being the asshole here by telling her that she's being selfish and that we can't afford to drop down to a single-income household?

Someone suggested I post this story over here… enjoy!
When our first child was born, my ex forced me to quit my job. When our 2nd child was 2, I found out about his affair. By then he was extremely verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. When he abused our first born, I put him out. That was in 2012.
I couldn’t afford daycare to work and had no family support. He refused to give me any money to take care of the kids saying “The courts haven’t ordered me to give you a dime!” He lied to the bank and had my accounts frozen and even assaulted me when I filed for default in the divorce.
The judge finally ordered him to pay child and spousal support 6 months after I kicked him out. It was 2562 a month. He refused to pay it until the garnishment kicked in and by then he was 6k behind in support. I used that to get permission to move away.
I remarried a year after the divorce. I checked the court docs and there was a little box that said spousal support stopped upon remarriage if that box was checked. It wasn’t checked, so I figured I was good. Instead of filing for his retirement, I just took that year of spousal support (12k) and left it alone. (Spousal support was only ordered for 2 years)
In 2017, he filed for sole custody of the kids out of nowhere. That was when he found out I had remarried and he had paid spousal support to me during the first year of my marriage. I told him I took that money instead of filing for my share of his retirement. I said if he let me keep that 12k, I wouldn’t file to split his 401k. He demanded that I repay the spousal support. The judge ordered me to repay it but increased child support and deducted the repayment from that. It ended up that I got an extra 20.00 a month and he repaid himself. He dropped his bid for custody in exchange for 2 extra weeks in summer.
I pursued the retirement account split. He refused to cooperate and dragged it out for 4 years. It was so bad, they sanctioned him and he had to pay me 600 a month for a year in addition to child support. They also charged him with contempt.
In Jan 2021, he proposed to his girlfriend. In May of 2021, I finally got the disbursement from his 401k. I won’t say how much it was, but it was about 4 times the amount of spousal support overpayment. I had no idea it would be that much. I had thought it would be around 12k which is why I thought keeping that year of spousal and not filing for his retirement account was a fair trade. Had he not tried to take the kids from me, I never would’ve filed to split the account. Play stupid games… win stupid prizes.
In summary, my ex refused to pay me until support orders dropped, refused to pay until they revoked his license. Tried to get me in trouble for accepting spousal support over payment and in the end it cost him a lot of money out of his 401k.

To start, please ask instead of assuming and I'll answer to the best of my ability. I DO have ill intentions towards my sister, that is correct but I love my dad always and it makes me angry that she's taken advantage of him while he's sick. I don't know much about POA but my sister has it over my dad and the only thing she's ever cared about was selling his belongings. Now she has his old house.
Before he got sick my dad was making payments to the bank for his house. He had about 10k left to pay. It's been sitting vacant for 10 years ever since he got Alzheimer's.
My sister never goes to visit my dad. She's never made any decisions on his behalf and the one time she received money for him she went on a shopping spree. My grandparents have made all of his medical and housing arrangements. They told me that I shouldn't get POA because I can still make medical decisions on his behalf without it but I'm not so sure.
From what I know(and don't fully understand myself), she had to speak to the same lawyer who gave her POA over my dad to somehow get the house. It was still owned by the bank and they were going to auction it off for the amount he had left to pay. The only time she's visited my dad since before the pandemic was to ask him about who owned the house(didn't know until my dad told me). I am the only one who visits my dad. My grandparents are in poor health and they want to pass the decision making to me if something were to happen to them.
I'm wondering if there's any legal action I can take against her for abusing her power as POA. If it's even worth trying, I don't know the law. I was told the other day by an old family friend that he signed the papers for POA when he wasn't competent enough do so. I never even considered that. The family friend told me that I could legally fight for the house but I'm not sure.
As I said, please ask instead of assuming. I have literally nothing to gain by lying. Yes, I am out for revenge. She doesn't deserve the house after everything she's done. My best friend was killed there so I don't actually want the house for myself but I would give it to my nieces when they got older.

Hi- need serious advice. I know this is a novel, I’m so sorry but I would appreciate anyone who reads it. I’m a 20 yr old F and I live with my brother, 19 M, and my two parents. My parents are abusive. There is no way to get around it. Physically when I was young and mentally now. I can’t describe what they put me through now- it’s awful. I promised myself all throughout high school I would leave the moment I turned 18 but something kind of switched and they became more tolerable, almost nicer, so like a fucking idiot I stayed. I started my bachelors, started working and tried to convince myself it was alright. The other reason I stayed was for my brother. I’ve taken care of him my whole life. I didn’t have any other choice, and I didn’t think I wanted one. It was my duty to take care of him and I did my job as best as I could only being 11 months older. I have gotten in the middle of fights, taken beatings, punishments, paid for him, drove him, etc. Time and money I didn’t have to spare spent on him with no repayment, and I’m talking about he wanted a new $60 game so I asked him to help me while I cleaned my room (vacuuming, taking down dirty clothes, wiping down my fan). This has been going on for years. I was the one to complete his college essay, to call his advisors to get his transcripts, to do his homework, otherwise my ass was on the line with my parents. I have done everything I could for him. Plus, he didn’t even get into college because I told him he had to complete his 200 word prompt for his college application, leading him not to get accepted because he didn’t fucking do it. He’s in his first year while I’m almost in my fourth. I have had jobs for the last 3 years in my field while he has done nothing. I begged my parents for a car and drivers license for 2 1/2 years while he, at 19, only got his 4 months ago. He does the bare minimum. Less than that, actually. The night before fall semester started he got into a fight with my father, physically, left the house, and made me go looking for him and try to convince him to go back home until 5am. To say my semester was fucked after that is an understatement. It’s constant but I stay because I’m his sister. It’s my job. It’s also a cultural thing I guess. I know I’m venting but I’m getting to the point I promise. A month ago I asked him to help me clean my room so that I could study since he has a habit of fucking his room up, coming and staying in my room, taking up my bed, and asking me to buy him food. I had just returned from the library, brought him Taco Bell, and wanted to clean a bit before continuing to study for my final the next day. To be clear, if I didn’t pass this class I wouldn’t be on track to graduate or get into my optometry program. He said he didn’t want to help and bitched and moaned but when I pointed out that I had gone out of my way to get Taco Bell for him he agreed to aid. I asked him to just bring up some cleaning stuff and take down my clothes so I could have them clean for work and he left. After an hour or so of waiting for him (yes I was procrastinating and purposely didn’t ask why he was taking so long) I heard him come upstairs with a plate full of sandwiches and go into his room. I was pissed. I started to text him, angrily and cursing I’ll admit, about him not doing shit and being so annoying. I called him a bum for never following on his promises or doing absolutely fucking anything. He started texting in all caps not to call him that otherwise he swore to god I would regret it, and I, being the person that I am (a fucking idiot) called him it again. He rushed out of his room, kicked open my door and threw his phone at me as hard as he could and left me with a bruise. He started standing over me, threatening me, saying shit like he was going to throw me done the stairs, snap my neck, etc. I’ve seen him get that way before- he smashes shit to pieces, breaks anything in his sight, and generally destroys things. For some context he’s a big guy, almost 300lb and used to be able to deadlift 500+lb. I got scared, saw a knife on my counter from dishes I had yet to clean, and pulled it on him. He slowly backed off and went to his room, before I, again, a fucking idiot, called him a bum again. A stupid decision, I know, I would definitely be the bitch that got knifed in a movie and you’d cheer for her death. This time I closed the door before he could come in, he tried to break down the door while I was on the other side, and in response he smashed something made of glass on the other side and punched a hole in my door. I contacted my dad who was far away and he sent my mother home. My mother and I haven’t spoken to each other in a few months since she called me a burden for asking her to help me get my work clothes ready for the week. She came in, spoke to my brother I guess, then came in and spoke to me. She said it was unbelievable and she didn’t know what to say and when I explained what happened and then told me to study for my test. She also went back to talk to him and came back to talk with me, asking me if I pulled a knife on him, which I admitted to, only because I was seriously afraid of him pushing me down the stairs or knocking me out. After that I locked the door and when texting my parents about the situation they only told me not to worry about it, just study. I couldn’t, and I swear to god I tried, all night. I was scared and I think in shock. I got to the lecture hall early and tried to study there but that didn’t help either. I had done alright in the class, done very well in the lab, but knew I bombed the final. I went home and didn’t speak to anyone at home for days. After about 3 days I went downstairs and saw my dad who tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal. I explained how insane and irrational the entire situation was and how I wanted to move out. I couldn’t handle dealing with all of their shit, and if I was the problem like they said I was then I would be fixing that too. I have a very important board exam this summer that I also have to take to get into optometry school and I proposed that I would live on campus, only for the summer. He refused, angrily saying that it wasn’t me place to move out, that he would never support me, and that if that’s what I wanted to do I could get the fuck out right now. A few things- I pay partially for my school. I don’t make much but I put a lot of what I do have toward school and the rest towards little things for me and my brother. Secondly, almost every single thing within my bedroom I have paid for. Excluding the mattress, furniture, and my phone, I have paid for everything I need or want through hard work. Thirdly, both my parents are currently unemployed but wealthy. Wealthy enough that they can go on vacations, pay for four cars, go out with their friends, and pay for their son’s tuition with no hassle. It’s only mine that poses a problem, which is the reason they let me work. They attempt to dictate how I should spend my money constantly. The argument went on for an hour, him accusing me of failing because I chose to, him proposing that he get a lock for my door, telling me I could move into the basement, etc. When my father refused to budge I went upstairs, used a loc that I had bought for when your staying at a hotel to barricade the door and have not spoken to him since. It has been a month now and I have not spoke to anyone in person, though my mother has been trying to guilt me into making me give up my refrigerator in my room by telling me my grandfather is in hospice, there will be a funeral soon, and me having that fridge is making me too fat to be presentable, as well as trying to be nice and hugging me when I have to leave for work in the morning. Now, with all of that context, here’s what’s going on. Since the entire incident happened I have been trying to figure out a way to leave. I have looked into campus housing but it’s an additional $7000 per semester that I don’t think I can afford even if I take out student loans and do FAFSA. I’m scared of the position. It’ll put me in when it comes to going to school. I do have another choice though. I recently toured an apartment complex that is beautiful it’s my dream place and the rent is less than $1500 a month. The only problem is that I only currently make being part time 12 to 1300 a month I just got a raise to $18 an hour but even then that’s not gonna be enough to cover it if I’m going to school at the same time, I’ve looked into some options and FAFSA and loans wouldn’t be able to cover any of my housing outside of living on campus. The only problem with living on campus is I can’t make the morning drive less than an hour and a half to work and I’m afraid with how it all affect my schedule and will to study. I was honestly giving up the idea of moving out at all because it seems so impractical and there was no way that I could actually leave and take my stuff with me without a fight. However, I recently learned that my parents tomorrow are leaving on a five day vacation to Vegas with Little to no thought of how that affects me and the position that I’m in with my brother, if I can figure out a way to somehow be able to afford the rent for this place afford a car to get to work because we have really bad public transportation in my area then I think I would just drop out of school and go. I love optometry more than anything and that’s why I was willing to deal with all of this but maybe school just isn’t in the cards for me. I don’t want to give it up but I don’t think that I’ll make it out of here alive, in all honesty. I can’t keep up with everything it’s ruining my life and I’m only 20 years old. But it’s so scary that I don’t know if I can even take the steps to moving out. I just paid tuition for the spring summer semester and have only $500 to my name. I would need to take out a loan to be able to put down the down payment for the car and the apartment and what if I don’t get approved? What if my work doesn’t give me full-time? what am I gonna do then? I don’t have anybody in my life that could help me. I also have a big family that would all be on their side and agree with them and what if I leave and they come back and cause a scene that causes me to lose my job? They would 100% do that. I know for some people it’s a no brainer but put yourself in my shoes. I have no money, family, friends, or support. At least here I have car and my room and sometimes they’re tolerable. I would only have to do it for 1-2(?) more years. On the other hand, this place is destroying me. I hate who I am becoming because of it. Would it be worth giving up my future for getting my dreams or moving out? If you read all of this you’re amazing, thank you so much. I can only stare at a pros and cons list for so long 🙃

Hello,
I was wondering if anyone has had similar and what outcome was, I’m waiting on an appointment with a lawyer but am stressed out about this.
Basically I started a company back in 2014, ran the company myself as a sole trader until 2021, brought on a person working for me commission only, all good, all tax returns done, GST paid etc etc.
I had a major health issue beginning of 2021, so I signed over 70% of the company to the friend I had been working with, he was then director and I retained 30%. He has his under a trust in his family name.
Since then I have done bits of work in the background like social media etc, not taken any money/wage/dividends etc.
I have found out the following (these are the main points):
He has not completed any tax returns since he has taken over the business and has been receiving prosecution notices from the ATO.
He never set up a business account for the business and has been taking money under the company ABN but it has been going directly into his bank account (personal business one) does not have the business name attached to it
He has not paid GST
He has not paid tax
He has taken out large loans on the company name but spent it on personal items
He has spent all profit from the business (from his own personal business account)
Where do we go from here? As the money has all gone into his personal business account is it considered all his wages? So all the tax obligations would be his not the companies?
Is this classed as director misconduct and misappropriating funds and can I report this?
Would the GST payments come under the company name even though no money has gone into a company business account (as he doesn’t have one) although he’s been using Square payments under the company ABN.
Thank you for any advice/help
Edited to format to make it easier to read

Hi everyone! I'm currently searching for new writing partners. Roleplaying has been my hobby for over a decade and I love it so much. Finding a new writing buddy can be tricky so I might ask for a writing sample just to make sure we click. I'm happy to provide one as well!
In a roleplay partner, I would like someone who is :
* At least twenty-three years of age. (I'm almost 33 so my comfort zone is with older writers)
*Advanced literate. I prefer to receive/give a few paragraphs per reply but quality > quantity always.
* A fan of brainstorming and collaborating.
* Loves brainstorming and nerding out over characters and plots.
* Comfortable writing in third person, past tense.
I am a fandom girlie and enjoy crafting stories in worlds I already adore. The fandoms I’m currently interested in writing are; A Court of Thorns and Roses, Throne of Glass, Crescent City, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Stranger Things, the Hunger Games, The 100 and Star Wars.
I am also super interested in writing other genres such as; fantasy, mafia/mob, mystery, and historical. I'm not huge on slice of life unless there's a lot of complex dynamics.
Some of my favorite tropes are; enemies/rivals to lovers, forced proximity, fake dating, morally grey male characters, found family, strangers to lovers, the chosen one, slow burn, power couple, opposites attract, grumpy x sunshine, soul mates, hurt/comfort, stranded, and royalty.
I currently play original female characters and am interested in playing against male original or canon characters.
I do my best to post daily (often I can manage multiple posts a day) but I also work and have other responsibilities. I keep my partners updated if it will take me more than a day or two to respond to a post.
Please reach out via chat or message if you'd like to chat about a roleplay.

Initially hired by a company in 2021 under the role ‘IT Graduate’
My employer runs a graduate program within various parts of their business, a 3 year program to explore and get your foot in the door, hopefully resulting in a permanent position
While I wasn’t employed through the graduate program, the idea was I’d be employed primarily in a support position but would also do ‘rotations’ into other areas of the business, hence employing me as a graduate
This was a 3 year fixed term role stating a fixed term role due to “namely that it is a 3-year programme specifically aimed at new graduates in the [wider team name]”
Team and team leaders acknowledge lack of rotations done and acknowledge that my primary position is supporting a specific set of applications and should be a permanent position as the applications I support are ongoing and imperative to the running of the business
Company has not performed as well in the last financial year, made redundancies in October and are currently doing the same now and reducing head count to help put themselves in a better financial position
Company has sent me a “Letter of Variation” extending my fixed term contract for 2 years and changing my job title to “application specialist”. Reason verbally stated for fixed term which isn’t included in the letter of variation is “financial reasons, primarily uncertainty of financial position”
As far as I’m aware, financial uncertainty isn’t a valid reason to employ a fixed term employee as all businesses face this
I have been pushing back on this, questioning why I remain fixed term and not permanent. As far as I’m aware, job title change null and voids the initial 3 year fixed term role ending as no longer in the graduate program
I don’t know what to do. The company is making people redundant which puts the fear in me. Realistically I can’t see anyone viable, with the correct knowledge to replace my role and others have said this also.
I fear that pushing back, I may be a target for being made redundant and the company taking the approach of “do now, think later”. Everything is learnable
I have a wedding to plan next year. The fixed term gives me that breathing space
Do I sign and push for a permanent position over that time? Would I have legal standing if my employment came to an end with the financial reasons they’ve stated?
I’m just stuck. I love my job. I don’t agree with the corporate shit and like to stick up for the little guy. But I have responsibilities to think about, I have bills and rent to pay, a wedding to plan

Hi everyone! I'm currently searching for new writing partners. Roleplaying has been my hobby for over a decade and I love it so much. Finding a new writing buddy can be tricky so I might ask for a writing sample just to make sure we click. I'm happy to provide one as well!
In a roleplay partner, I would like someone who is :
* At least twenty-three years of age. (I'm almost 33 so my comfort zone is with older writers)
*Advanced literate. I prefer to receive/give a few paragraphs per reply but quality > quantity always.
* A fan of brainstorming and collaborating.
* Loves brainstorming and nerding out over characters and plots.
* Comfortable writing in third person, past tense.
I am a fandom girlie and enjoy crafting stories in worlds I already adore. The fandoms I’m currently interested in writing are; A Court of Thorns and Roses, Throne of Glass, Crescent City, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Stranger Things, the Hunger Games, The 100 and Star Wars.
I am also super interested in writing other genres such as; fantasy, mafia/mob, mystery, and historical. I'm not huge on slice of life unless there's a lot of complex dynamics.
Some of my favorite tropes are; enemies/rivals to lovers, forced proximity, fake dating, morally grey male characters, found family, strangers to lovers, the chosen one, slow burn, power couple, opposites attract, grumpy x sunshine, soul mates, hurt/comfort, stranded, and royalty.
I currently play original female characters and am interested in playing against male original or canon characters.
I do my best to post daily (often I can manage multiple posts a day) but I also work and have other responsibilities. I keep my partners updated if it will take me more than a day or two to respond to a post.
Please reach out via chat or message if you'd like to chat about a roleplay.

Throwaway because of the subject. I'm being followed and observed everywhere I go for most of the past year. They seem to be using my cellphone as a tracking device. I notice strange things happenings to my phone, like old emails suddenly changing permissions to my photos and recorded phone activity. When I leave home my security camaras start gliching out and they stop sending notifications. Old facebook accounts which I lost access to start sending email notification of activity but I have no idea what's going on so I close the email accounts.
This same thing happend to my sister a few years ago as well, she ended up hospitalized. They really fucked her up. It all started shortly after a close realtive contracted a local equivalent of a lawyer from the CIA. At first I thought it was a political persecution as I engage online in a local forum and dating sites and sometimes have disagreements with dense people of other wings.
Things get personal quick when people start coming in too close for comfort as if I'm some kind of jihad terrorist. I start recording them as evidence and the motherfuckers start coming with kids to make it look I'm recording them. They are always step ahead of me, I trip on all their sticks.
I start having an STD and get checked out by doctors and treatment. This particular std is known to be related as intel ops to give people cancer. I'm having a wild ride while dealing with a challenging std and these people after me. I start confiding to doctors there's strange people following me. After telling a doc. says she's going to use the phone flashlight to check something out but instead she takes a pic of me. Shit goes south from there, they start doing ops where I eat and buy my food and then feel sick to my stomach, falling ill for a few days at a time.
It gets worse the more people I tell. It's a nightmare. Some days it's an all feminist group, some mixed like there are different groups, no doubt there is a medical group involved fucking up my health. I go to a lawyer to see if there is something the state is involved because it's ridiculous the amount of resources that are being employed on me, it comes out blank.
My family thinks I'm going crazy, they only do it while I'm alone. I see a psychiatrist and change meds, nothings changes things just get wilder. They start doing ops at the fucking pharmacy where I get my drugs like they are tampering with my meds.
Its been at least 3 months I have low-grade fever, fatigue, short of breath and chest pain. Then things get serious when ever I go out to pay bills and while in line people with bags start getting uncomfortable close to me, when I get home I feel absolutely wrecked. I start googling my symptoms and they match with radiation sickness. These people are doing some kind of radiotherapy to me, rendering useless my groin area, I can't even pee properly, can't eat for long periods because of the nausea.
There's also news a iodine 131 sample goes missing from a local med department the same week my house show signs of being broken into. I start having a mirradid of other health problems all linked to radiation poisoning, my house looks like is compromised. I go to my physician and he basically laughs off all of it as if he knew what the fuck is going on. Doesn't give me anything for the pain or symptoms. I get a blood analysis done and my sample get fucking stolen, wtf.
There is some kind of intel group that's summoning other groups to attack my health. Somebody fabricated something on me but they have absolutely no evidence, its seems to be all speculation. They are getting really dense now and I feel they are now trying to kill me with radiation or give me lifelong health complications. On different occasions I reached out to the police and they did nothing since no evidence, then to the municipality and then to a private investigator that basically postponed the meeting several times and ghosted me. My phone is tapped so any action I do there is a countermeasure being done by some other group.
Shit it too much and don't know for how long I can take it. Advice is welcomed if you have anything of value to add, save it if you have shitty whitty comments, enough damage is being done. Heads up, this is a third world country with equally shitty laws.

Contest Rules For Best Song Of The Month • Updated May 19th, 2024

Click here to see summary of changes.

Best Song Of The Month Contest

Music Or Lose It hosts a monthly Best Song Of The Month contest at this musicorloseittv subreddit community. There is no cash or monetary value prize at this time. This contest is simply just for fun. Winners earn the enjoyment of being voted the best. Winners may cite the win in their biographies and social media posts.
The moderator (mod) is available to help music creators with the entry process, eligibility requirements, and deadlines. Music creators are allowed to contact the mod to ask questions about the contest anytime and mod will reply as soon as possible.
Definitions
Music creator: refers to a solo creator, band, group, choir, orchestra, or duo.
Brand identity: refers to how a creator presents themselves as an entertainer making music for the general public. For example, Simon & Garfunkel as a duo is one brand identity. Paul Simon solo is another brand identity.

Process & Deadlines

🟡 Round 1
1) Discovery ◦ Each month, moderator keeps track of songs shared at this musicorloseittv community.
2) Notifying Music Creators ◦ When a likely eligible song is seen, the u/musicorloseittv profile or u/themusicfanman profile will notify the music creator of likely eligibility within the qualifying song’s post. The reply will indicate, “⏳ This song appears eligible for the Best Song Of The Month contest. Please provide the following information…” If the song is confirmed to be eligible by a mod, the mod will make a reply “🟨 This is confirmation notifying you that this song is eligible and in consideration for the Best Song Of The Month contest…” within the qualifying song’s post.
3) Determining Contestants ◦ The Music Fan man will evaluate all eligible songs by the month’s eligibility deadline. He will then at his discretion choose up to 5 songs to compete.
3) Finalists Post ◦ At this musicorloseittv community, the musicorloseittv profile will announce the top finalists (up to 5) in a post tiled “Contest: Best Song Of The Month Finalists (Insert Month & Year).” This announcement will be done in a post made 4 days before the final day of the month. The post will be made sometime in the morning. The songs will be listed within the post in a manner most representative of music diversity as determined by the musicorloseittv profile mod. All songs available on YouTube will be included in a playlist titled “Best Song Of The Month Contestants • (Insert Month & Year)” hosted by the musicorloseittv channel on YouTube. Songs not available on YouTube will be excluded from the playlist. The playlist will be mentioned in this post. The available playlist will help voters get familiar with the songs.
The u/musicorloseittv profile or u/themusicfanman profile will notify the music creators of qualifying for the contest in their post of the song. The reply will indicate, “✅ Congratulations. Your song qualifies for the Best Song Of The Month contest…”
4) Voting ◦ The “Contest: Best Song Of The Month Finalists (Insert Month & Year)” post will specify a duration of 3 consecutive dates during which music fans can vote for only 1 of the top finalists. Voting occurs by the voters making a reply to the post in the following manner: “🗳️ I vote for….” Failing to vote in this manner will result in vote not being counted. To best ensure vote accuracy, voters must not use the “🗳️” emoji anywhere else in the post’s comments section. Music creators may vote for another music creator yet may not vote for themselves. For music creators, it’s “word of honor” voting. The top vote earning song within these three days will become the winner.
‣ Community moderator profiles musicorloseittv and onesongoftheday will abstain from voting. Also, themusicfanman and any special judge involved will also abstain from voting - unless they’re needed to serve as a tie breaker, in the event of a tie preventing a clear winner. If themusicfanman and any special judge involved are needed as a tie breaker, they must come to a consensus to achieve tie breaking. If no special judge is involved, then themusicfanman alone will serve as the tie breaker.
🟢 Winner Declaration!
Declaration Post ◦ At this musicorloseittv community, on the final day of the month, the musicorloseittv profile will announce the winner in a post tiled “Congratulations! 🎉 Best Song Of The Month Winner (Insert Month & Year)” in a post dedicated to celebrating the song. Using the sticky-post feature, the post will be prominently displayed the home page of the musicorloseittv subreddit community for ≈ 24 hours.
Achievement ◦ The contest winner may promote their song as:
My song “Song Title” won:
🏅Best Song Of The Month By Community Vote
(Insert Month & Year)
At The Music Or Lose It Community
The winner may promote themselves and the song as the winner at venues like X/Twitter, Facebook, Threads, or their YouTube channel’s Community feed. The winner may also cite the win in their biographies online including their personal website.
🏆 Song Of The Year
A similar Song Of The Year vote will occur in December. It will be similarly organized and scheduled to conclude on the final day of the year. To determine a Song Of The Year by the end of the year, December’s monthly contest will only be ≈ 2 weeks. Why? Because we need time to conclude The Song Of The Year vote by the end of the year. Additionally, this is a busy time of year for many people. What’s more, non-Christmas music released in December is typically overshadowed by Christmas music. It seems to be a bad idea to release new-original music in late December. See opinion commentary: The Best And Worst Months To Release Music.
Achievement ◦ The contest winner may promote their song as:
🏆 Best Song Of The Year By Community Vote
(Insert Year)
At The Music Or Lose It Community
The winner may promote themselves and the song as the winner at venues like X/Twitter, Facebook, Threads, or their YouTube channel’s Community feed. The winner may also cite the win in their biographies online including their personal website.

Eligibility

Here are the rules for the Best Song Of The Month contest organized by Music Or Lose It just for fun. The eligibility rules are intended to make this contest as fair as possible to the music creator participants.
**👤 Personal: **
Requirements:
✔️ Must be an actual human.
✔️ Must be 17 years of age or older.
✔️ Must be a music creator abiding by the rules of this musicorloseittv subreddit community.
✔️ Must be a music creator posting using either your personal profile or your brand profile as a music entertainer.
Ineligible:
🚫 Profiles run by publicists, music labels, or channels hosting performers.
🚫 People posing as other humans using imitation avatar type creations by artificial intelligence (AI).
**🗿 Music creator’s stature status: **
Eligible:
✔️ Unsigned amateur or unsigned professional yet lesser known.
✔️ Lesser known music creators who have not yet achieved two different songs with over 500,000 views/listens and are signed to deals with small to medium-sized record companies or seeming one-song-per-time type distributors.
✔️ Lesser known music creators who have not yet achieved two different songs with over 500,000 views/listens and are signed to deals with to a major label.
**📅 Release date: **
Eligible:
✔️ Your song must be published and accessible to the masses anytime between November 15^th of the prior year and 5 days before the final day of the current month.
**💽 Songwriting, singing, & recording: **
Requirements:
✔️ You must be the copyright owner of the song (lyrics and sound recording) or authorized/licensed to perform the song by the copyright owner as the first original performer.
✔️ An exception is made if your song is an authorized/licensed remix or includes authorized/licensed interpolation or sampling content by the copyright owner in collaboration with any other amateur music creator(s) or unsigned professional yet lesser known music creator(s). The aforementioned release date also applies to any remix, interpolation, or sampling content.
✔️ Collaborations within the aforementioned rules are allowed so long as the song is entered into the contest by the lead. Lead refers to the first person named in the collaboration.
Ineligible:
🚫 Copyright/trademark violations.
🚫 Songs written by artificial intelligence (AI).
🚫 Songs primarily generated artificial intelligence (AI).
🚫 Cover, parody, nor artificial intelligence (AI) imitation.
🚫 Songs likely to be very divisive for political or religious/anti-religious reasons.
🚫 Collaborations within deceased music creators akin to “Unforgettable” by Natalie Cole featuring Nat "King" Cole.
🚫 Interpolations, remixes, or samplings of a song by a creator signed to a record company of any size or signed to a one-song-per-time type distributor.
🚫 Song with hard cussing. No variations of F word, S word, C word, D word, N word (er or a), ahole word(s), or sexually vulgar words.
🚫 Extremely sexual, gang promoting, violent, or especially scary/gory/maleficent/evil aesthetic content.
🚫 Songs primarily about brands. For example: “I Love Driving Such-And-Such Brand Name Trucks.”
**👂 Recording quality: **
Allowed:
✔️ Professional quality recordings (live or studio).
✔️ Amateur quality (including songs record in a bedroom, car, outdoors, etc…) yet reasonably pleasant sounding.
✔️ Demos are welcome.
Ineligible:
🚫 Live records with too much interfering audience noise.
🚫 Recordings with excessively poor sound quality (abrasive on the ears, difficult to hear).
**📏 Song length: **
Requirement:
✔️ Minimum of 01:15 minutes up to 10:00 minutes.
**💻 Distribution venues: **
Requirements:
✔️ A song published and accessible to the general public masses at a well-known music website such as YouTube, SoundCloud, or Bandcamp.
✔️ A song uploaded to a channel hosting live performances is allowed so long as the song is entered into the contest directly by the creator and so long as the creator confirms permission by the channel. Confirmation can be done in either your original upload URL link source or at this community within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ The song’s upload date must be visible at the distribution venue website.
⚠️ If you enter this contest with a Spotify or TikTok URL link, ensure you’ve provided a link for the entire song (not a teasesampler) in a manner that does not require login; ensure the publish date is visible; and be weary of looping flashing visuals necessitating a “⚠️Possible Seizure Trigger Risk Warning.” Failing to do this will result in ineligibility.
Ineligible:
🚫 Login required to access the song.
🚫 Payment required to access the song.
🚫 Uploads of songs directly to Reddit.
🚫 Links not fully available to the public such as an “unlisted” YouTube video.
**🖼️ Song’s artwork: **
Definition: artwork refers to the image/drawing/photo/visuals accompanying your individual song at a music distribution venue such as YouTube, SoundCloud, or Bandcamp. It is sometimes referred to as “cover art.”
Requirements:
✔️ You must be the original creator of the song’s accompanying artwork.
✔️ Alternatively, you must be the copyright owner of the artwork if you paid to have it made. Otherwise you must be authorized/licensed to publish the artwork as part of the presentation of your song.
✔️ Artwork primarily generated by artificial intelligence (AI) is allowed so long as you are authorized/licensed by the AI source to publish the artwork as part of your song’s public presentation. However this is advised against because public sentiment may be hostile towards AI generated content.
✔️ If your song’s artwork uses aspects of copyrighted, creative commons, or “free” material content, you must confirm you’ve got authorization/licensing to use the content as part of your song’s public presentation. Confirmation can be done in either your original upload URL link source or at this community within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ Your own logo that you own the copyright to may be displayed in the song’s accompanying artwork (including on a person wearing a hat or T-shirt).
Ineligible:
🚫 Copyright/trademark violations.
🚫 Parody notably displayed in the artwork.
🚫 Visible logos of any brand other than your own logo as a music entertainer.
🚫 Extremely sexual, gang promoting, violent, or especially scary/gory/maleficent/evil aesthetic content.
**🎥 Song’s music video (optional): **
Including a link to a music video is optional.
Requirements:
✔️ You must be the original creator of the song’s music video visuals including: animation; moving graphics; prominently featured still artwork or photos.
✔️ Alternatively, you must be the copyright owner of all the video’s visuals if you paid to have them made. Otherwise you must be authorized/licensed to publish all the video’s visuals as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video.
✔️ Visuals (including: animation; moving graphics; prominently featured still artwork or photos) primarily generated by artificial intelligence (AI) are allowed so long as you are authorized/licensed by the AI source to publish the artwork as part of your song’s public presentation. However this is advised against because public sentiment may be hostile towards AI generated content.
✔️ If your song’s accompanying music video uses aspects of copyrighted, creative commons or “free” material, you must confirm you’ve got authorization/licensing to use the copyrighted material as part of your song’s public presentation within the accompanying music video. Confirmation can be done in either your original upload URL link source or at this community within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ Your own logo that you own the copyright to may be displayed in the video (including on a person wearing a hat or T-shirt).
✔️ Allowed music videos include “Official Music Video,” “Live Performance,” “Dance Video Version,” “Animated Video,” or “Lyrics Video.”
✔️ If you opt for an “Animated Video” or a “Lyrics Video,” you must be authorized/licensed to publish all the video’s visuals as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video. If you hire an animator or use AI or an app/software designed to create music video lyrics, you must be authorized/licensed by the animator or AI source or app/software creator to publish the animation and/or lyrics as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video.
✔️ If you opt for a “Dance Video Version,” the dancing and/or choreography must be originally created for your song’s accompanying music video. If you hire a choreographer and/or dancers or collaborate for free or for barter, you must be authorized/licensed by the choreographer and/or dancers to publish the video’s dancing/choreography visuals as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video.
✔️ “Official Audio” type music videos are allowed so long as an accompanying still image complies with the aforementioned “Song’s artwork” rules. Alternatively, if the “Official Audio” music videos has moving visuals, it must comply with these above-mentioned “Song’s music video” rules.
✔️ “Live Performance” music videos may be made from your home/cafield (pretty much anywhere decent and reasonable) or from one of your well-recorded performances from a show. Be sure to avoid copyright and trademark violations in the video.
⚠️ Brief uses of music distribution venue logos at the end or start of a music video may be allowed at mod’s discretion, when the intent is to inform the viewer of venue availability of the song. This is however discouraged unless the distribution venue, at their website, specifies this is allowed. Music videos that display any trademark logos (other than the music creator’s own copyrighted logo) entirely throughout are ineligible.
Ineligible:
🚫 Copyright/trademark violations.
🚫 Notable use of virtual reality program recordings.
🚫 Notable use of filters from apps/websites similar to Snapchat.
🚫 Parody of intellectual property characters prominently displayed in the video.
🚫 Notably visible logos of any brand other than your own logo as a music entertainer.
🚫 Notable display of brand products with visible logos including but not limited to toys, stuffed animals, autos, hats, T-Shirts.
🚫 Extremely sexual, gang promoting, violent, or especially scary/gory/maleficent/evil aesthetic content.
🚫 Limitations on involving minors (under 18 yo): no minors doing dangerous stunts; no depictions of minors participating in drugs/drinking/smoking or very sexual behavior (including sexual dancing); do not prominently feature children that are not your own in the video (exception may be made if a relative only allows you to involve their children).
⚖️ Quantities:
Requirements:
✔️ One song per music creator’s brand identity.
✔️ If a music creator uploads more than one of their brands’ potentially eligible songs, the music creator must inform mod which song they prefer to be included in the contest.
✔️ A music creator may win this Song Of The Month contest up to three consecutive times. If this happens, thereafter the creator must abstain from the contest for the next month and then may return to the contest after that 1-month eligibility hiatus.
Ineligible:
🚫 Every collaboration will not automatically be considered a new brand. For example, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss collaborating one time should not be considered a brand. Robert Plant & Alison Krauss making an entire album together should be considered a brand. Music creators attempting to enter multiple songs under multiple brand names will be scrutinized. If there is no social media presence for any additional brands, their songs will likely be rejected as “also eligible” by mods. If this happens, the music creator will have to enter only 1 song.
**🖱️ Accounts you may post from: **
Requirements:
✔️ Your post must be made directly from either your personal Reddit account profile or your brand’s Reddit account profile.
✔️ If you have a medical condition necessitating aid, on your behalf, you may appoint a publicist, manager, caretaker, helper, spouse, partner, friend, guardian, or family member to post from either your personal Reddit account profile or your brand’s Reddit account profile.
✔️ If your song is from a band, group, choir, orchestra, or duo brand, the post must be made directly from either from one of the members’ personal Reddit account profiles or from your brand’s Reddit account profile.
✔️ If your song is collaboration, the post must be made directly from either the lead’s personal Reddit account profile or from the lead’s brand Reddit account profile.
✔️ If you want another song to be a part of the contest from another brand identity you are involved with, the song must be posted by a Reddit account profile for that separate brand – or one of the brand collaborators’ personal Reddit account profile.
👩🏾‍🏫 Presentation at this musicorloseittv community:
Requirements:
✔️ You must post a link to the song at this musicorloseittv community by tapping “+” on smartphone or clicking “+Create a post” on desktop/laptop. You must select the “My Song” flair.
✔️ Your post must be done by the “Title & Link Share Only method.”
✔️ The song’s URL you provide must be of the standalone song upload - not part of a playlist URL link.
✔️ You may post an audio only upload URL link (such as an individual song published at SoundCloud or Bandcamp). Alternatively, you may post a music video link from a venue like YouTube.
✔️ You may include a smartlink for the individual song (not album or playlist) within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ You may title the post whatever you want within the community’s rules and the contest’s rules. Remember: no vague titles; limit post title emojis to no more than 2 (if you decide to use them); and don’t request feedback.
✔️ Your post title may be done in the style of “Entertainer - Song Tile” (or something similar). Alternatively, the post title may be more elaborate. For example: “This Is My Latest Song. It’s About A Wonderful Time I Fell In Love.”
✔️ In your posts’ body-text section or in a reply comment, optionally you may share details about the song that you feel the audience would enjoy knowing.
**📝 Needed information: **
Requirements:
✔️ Within either your posts’ body-text section or within a reply comment at your post, provide the following information – as is:
❇️ Contest entry for your consideration:
• Entertainer's Name - Song Title:
• Published on: [Insert date & year. Refers to date published at your URL link source]
• Genre:
• I am an independent creator unsigned I am signed to [insert label name]
• Interpolations/remixes/samplings disclosure: N/A this song contains authorized/licensed interpolations/remixes/samplings [specify] of another song released since 11/15 of the prior year in collaboration with other unsigned music creator(s)[specify]. The link to the original song is [insert URL link – publish date from URL link source must be visible].
• Al disclosure: N/A. A portion of this [song/artwork/music video] is created by Al. Explanation: [specify if this applies to song/artwork/music video].
• Copyright disclosure for song: I confirm I’m the copyright owner of all the contents of this song (lyrics and recording) as it is presented including the artwork [(if applicable) and music video]
Copyrighted content I am authorized/licensed to use commercially in the promotion of my song include: [insert details]
• [optional/voluntary] Confirmation of substantial human involvement: A real human substantially arranged/compose this music. [Note: This type disclosure is strongly encouraged by creators who use instrument sounds and beats from apps/software in substation of instruments played live at the time of recording. This is especially encouraged for music creators who do not show their face and/or don’t show themselves creating the music in a music video or behind the scenes video. For music fans opposed to music primarily created by AI, this type of disclosure can be helpful and assuring.]
• Lyrics: [insert URL link or embed URL link into “Lyrics” text] [note if the lyrics are available at the upload source] [only if you're the copyright owner of the lyrics, you may entirely include them] [type “vocalized” or “instrumental” if applicable]
Ineligible:
🚫 Uploads of songs to Reddit.
🚫 No engagement pleas disguised as feedback requests in post titles nor in your posts’ body-text section. No feedback requests.
**👨🏼‍⚖️ Copyright/trademark compliance: **
‣ Important note: Aforementioned rules already state you either must be the copyright owner of the content you enter for this contest or you must be authorized/licensed to commercially use the content by the copyright owner. Aforementioned rules already state you must disclose use of copyrighted, creative commons, or “free” material. Mods reserve the right to ask for additional proof for confirmation. Suspected violations will be removed at mod’s discretion. You are strongly encouraged to upload your best, newest, utmost original content.
‣ Resources:
U.S. Copyright Office, Copyright in General https://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-general.html
What Musicians Should Know about Copyright by U.S. Copyright Office https://www.copyright.gov/engage/musicians
U.S. Copyright Office Fair Use Index by U.S. Copyright Office https://www.copyright.gov/fair-use
**🤝 Mutual Support **
Requirements:
✔️ You must be active in the musicorloseittv community regarding mutual support and engagement with other posts. You must post a comment reply to at least two other posts of any kind at the musicorloseittv community before the final day of the month. Failing to do so will result in disqualification.
Ineligible:
🚫 Posting then ghosting the community.
**😎👍 Encouraging fans to vote: **
Ineligible:
🚫 You are not allowed to ask for votes in anywhere in the musicorloseittv community’s comments section.
🚫 Music creators may not offer anything to anyone whatsoever in exchange for voting for them.
Allowed:
✔️ If you see a music fan has voted for you, you may thank them in a reply comment.
✔️ You may make social media posts at venues like X/Twitter, Facebook, Threads or your YouTube channel’s Community feed to encourage your fans to join this musicorloseittv subreddit community and vote for your song.
Example post:
My song “Song Title” is a finalist for Best Song Of The Month at the musicorloseittv community at Reddit. At [insert URL link] please vote for me and my song. Thank you.
**📜 Rules adherence: **
‣ Important note: If you are new to the musicorloseittv community as either a music fan voting or music creator entering the contest, latitude may be given as you get familiar here. It’s up to mod’s discretion.
‣ Important note: This contest is just for fun. Likewise playing boardgames or cards with friends is also just for fun yet people expect rules to be followed.
**🕊️ Truthfulness: **
Requirements:
✔️ Contestants and voters are expected to behave honorably and ethically.
Ineligible:
🚫 If anyone is ever discovered cheating or being dishonest akin to author James Frey or music entertainers Milli Vanilli, they will be disqualified and also likely be banned from this community.
Additional Info
If you do not want to be in the contest yet want to continue sharing your songs in this community, it is totally ok. Please inform the moderator. A “Message the mods” option is at the homepage.
In circumstances where uncertainty arises due to an unforeseen issue not addressed here in this outline of rules, moderators reserve the right to approve or disapprove eligibility. Moderators reserve the right to disqualify any song for any reason. Unfortunately, not every contest can perfectly satisfy all participant hopefuls.
Just do your best, don’t take it too seriously, and have fun.
Thank you.
END

About 2 weeks ago my best friend and housemate got back with her ex boyfriend after 5 months of being broken up. I found out through bumping into the two of them crying outside my bedroom and him not leaving until the following morning. I asked my friend if everything was okay and her last words were basically "don't worry, I'm okay. I love you and I'll tell you everything tomorrow." The following day I heard nothing, just saw them walking down the street arm in arm. After a couple of days of radio silence (not including me hearing the two of them around the house since we live together) she reached out asking to speak to me to explain her situation. I told her I'll be home from work at 6pm and that she'll have an hour to speak to me because I had plans later in the evening. I got home at 6:08 and messaged her immediately to let her know I'm home. I didn't get a response until 7:30 when she messaged me apologizing saying she fell asleep after she laid down on her bed because she was nervous to speak to me and that she would never do it intentionally. I had heard that excuse before when she missed my birthday earlier this year to go to a gig. I was firm and told her I'm busy, feeling stupid after shifting my evening plans around to give her an opportunity to speak to me, just to sit in my room for over an hour waiting for her to respond.
Her return to her ex is a huge shock to me and I never saw it coming. It seemed to me that she understood how toxic the relationship was, it ending with her cheating on him. I initially met her when they were dating the first time around, and quickly learnt that he wasn't a good person or a good partner (misogynistic and controlling). I did my absolute best to support her, and she never failed to tell me that she trusts me and loves me like a sister. I think because I'm a few years older than her and we got close really quickly, I felt protective of her. In hindsight I probably should've set more boundaries.
There have been multiple times over the past 6 months where her life choices and behaviours have worried me, predominantly pertaining to drug use, eating disorders, and selfish behaviours. I recall at least two instances where I've tried to set boundaries and explain to her that I may have to take a step back from the friendship because her behaviours are triggering to me, and whilst she is an adult and will make her own decisions, I need to protect my sanity and not be so involved and available in her life if she doesn't think her behaviours are an issue. All of these instances were followed by her promising she loves me and appreciates me so much and that she's going to change. After the birthday incident she left a bag of gifts outside my bedroom door with a handwritten letter telling me how much she loves me. I cried and forgave her.
Because of all of this, I'm hurting so much more. I don't understand how she can tell me she loves me one day and then the next act like I don't exist and never mattered to her. She's taken me off her "close friends" list on Instagram, and any communication we've had since has been limited to brief texts about bills and household chores. She won't even look at me when I pass her in the kitchen. She's become even more disrespectful about keeping the house clean, promising she'll tidy up in the groupchat but then not doing it and ignoring my messages. I feel like she's being deliberately spiteful; yesterday I woke up to dog poop smeared outside my bedroom where she must've wiped her shoe on the carpet and left it overnight for whatever reason.
I've been in touch with one of her other friends whom she's close with, and he said she's been avoiding any conversation about her boyfriend with him also. I understand that she might be embarrassed to open up to me about it because she knows how poorly I think of the guy, but I don't understand her acting like she's angry with me or like I've done something wrong. Doesn't she understand how much this is hurting me? We've already signed our contracts to live here for another year and the tension in the house is killing me.

Currently, I am almost 5 years as being a reserviest (8 years contract). Due to medical, I have requested to IRR. Me and my husband have been trying to have a baby for 3 years but it did not work. So we are in IVF now. IVF is extremely time dependent process and I don't want to miss any cycle because of drill or AT. Spenidng more money for it. Unfortunately, Tricare does not cover at all so we technically pay out of pocket. Now my medical is TNPQ. I sumitted PG 13 and NAVRES 1300/4. I got all singatures on 1300/4 each section and turned in to CCC. Now I wonder if my case will be denied or approved. Also, How can I get to know if my case is denied? All I care is dishonorable discharge. Other than that, I do not care. I make money good enough in civilian job and benefits as well.
Additionally, my name is tagged for mobilization next year. More delay for ivf cycle and low chance to have a baby becasue of getting old. On civilian job end, I have to start over my training after mobilization due to company policy. Training takes usually 18 months and low pay until completion. I heard many IRR cases are denied. If my case is denied, what is best thing for it? TNPQ is valid for 6 months. I do not know when I have a baby from ivf.
Thanks !

About 2 weeks ago my best friend and housemate got back with her ex boyfriend after 5 months of being broken up. I found out through bumping into the two of them crying outside my bedroom and him not leaving until the following morning. I asked my friend if everything was okay and her last words were basically "don't worry, I'm okay. I love you and I'll tell you everything tomorrow." The following day I heard nothing, just saw them walking down the street arm in arm. After a couple of days of radio silence (not including me hearing the two of them around the house since we live together) she reached out asking to speak to me to explain her situation. I told her I'll be home from work at 6pm and that she'll have an hour to speak to me because I had plans later in the evening. I got home at 6:08 and messaged her immediately to let her know I'm home. I didn't get a response until 7:30 when she messaged me apologizing saying she fell asleep after she laid down on her bed because she was nervous to speak to me and that she would never do it intentionally. I had heard that excuse before when she missed my birthday earlier this year to go to a gig. I was firm and told her I'm busy, feeling stupid after shifting my evening plans around to give her an opportunity to speak to me, just to sit in my room for over an hour waiting for her to respond.
Her return to her ex is a huge shock to me and I never saw it coming. It seemed to me that she understood how toxic the relationship was, it ending with her cheating on him. I initially met her when they were dating the first time around, and quickly learnt that he wasn't a good person or a good partner (misogynistic and controlling). I did my absolute best to support her, and she never failed to tell me that she trusts me and loves me like a sister. I think because I'm a few years older than her and we got close really quickly, I felt protective of her. In hindsight I probably should've set more boundaries.
There have been multiple times over the past 6 months where her life choices and behaviours have worried me, predominantly pertaining to drug use, eating disorders, and selfish behaviours. I recall at least two instances where I've tried to set boundaries and explain to her that I may have to take a step back from the friendship because her behaviours are triggering to me, and whilst she is an adult and will make her own decisions, I need to protect my sanity and not be so involved and available in her life if she doesn't think her behaviours are an issue. All of these instances were followed by her promising she loves me and appreciates me so much and that she's going to change. After the birthday incident she left a bag of gifts outside my bedroom door with a handwritten letter telling me how much she loves me. I cried and forgave her.
Because of all of this, I'm hurting so much more. I don't understand how she can tell me she loves me one day and then the next act like I don't exist and never mattered to her. She's taken me off her "close friends" list on Instagram, and any communication we've had since has been limited to brief texts about bills and household chores. She won't even look at me when I pass her in the kitchen. She's become even more disrespectful about keeping the house clean, promising she'll tidy up in the groupchat but then not doing it and ignoring my messages. I feel like she's being deliberately spiteful; yesterday I woke up to dog poop smeared outside my bedroom where she must've wiped her shoe on the carpet and left it overnight for whatever reason.
I've been in touch with one of her other friends whom she's close with, and he said she's been avoiding any conversation about her boyfriend with him also. I understand that she might be embarrassed to open up to me about it because she knows how poorly I think of the guy, but I don't understand her acting like she's angry with me or like I've done something wrong. Doesn't she understand how much this is hurting me? We've already signed our contracts to live here for another year and the tension in the house is killing me.

“In life every experience is a coin in your piggy bank.”
Good Morning and Happy Week Ahead ji 🤝🍄
Today's Headlines from :
Economic Times
📝 KKR in talks to buy into healthcare BPO company Infinx
📝 India calls for details on ambit of proposed EU deforestation norms
📝 Banks want to regain power to issue lookout notices, to move FinMin
📝 IMD predicts heatwave in Ahmedabad, Gandhinagar and parts of Gujarat during next five days
📝 Govt recovers Rs 852 crore under amnesty scheme for exporters
📝 DLF rental arm DCCDL's office rental income rises 7% to Rs 3,460 cr in FY24
📝 Tata Motors group hikes investment outlay to Rs 43,000 cr for FY25
📝 Bank of Maharashtra tops among PSU banks in business growth in FY24
📝 Smartphone Co HTech plans to raise $100 million to diversify operations
📝 Attero plans to invest over Rs 8,000 crore in 5 years to ramp up e-waste, battery recycling capacity
📝 JSW steel to spend over Rs 19,000 crore to expand Dolvi plant
Business Standard
📝 Promoters reluctant to sell Haldiram Snacks despite offers by PEs
📝 CMS Info Systems to bid for management contracts for 20,000 ATMs
📝 Rajnish Kumar, Mohandas Pai to leave edtech major Byju's advisory council
📝 Som Distilleries to invest at least Rs 1,000 crore in three years: CMD
📝 Share of women in urban salaried jobs at 6-year low in Q4FY24: PLFS
📝 FAME-II guidelines clear and companies defaulted knowingly, says govt
📝 UK PM Sunak faces revolt over plans to scrap Graduate Route visa: Report
📝 Covid vaccine makers gear up to launch new-generation jabs in India
Financial Express
📝 Adani building team for retail, hospitality foray
📝 L&T to buy out NPCIL stake in its forging arm
📝 Telecom industry’s attrition rate declines to 43.4% in FY24; industry sees demand for entry-level customer-facing, tech roles
📝 Indian airport operators to record revenue growth of 15-17% in FY25; passenger traffic to increase by 8-11% YoY, says ICRA
📝 Govt procures over 26 MT wheat
📝 MGNREGS in for a revamp; plan to plug leaks, make state govts stakeholders
Mint
📝 ITC’s Sanjiv Puri takes over as CII president for 2024-25
📝 No merger but PSB privatization still on cards
📝 Centre explores ways to stabilize sugarcane production amid weather shocks
📝 Q4 results so far: Total revenue up 10.6%, bottomline rises 10.1%
📝 As Russian discounts fall, Indian refiners join hands to negotiate better terms
📝 India may relax rules to export non-basmati rice to Mauritius, onions to Qatar.

Log 1 8:34 UST AM, June 24th, 2249
Surveyor Clancy Marato, Arribo IV Log 1. Today is June 24th, 2249 and the time is 8:34 AM Universal Standard Time. The location is Arribo IV, coordinates 33° North, 45° East. Site name TBD.
Following the collection of Exploration Drone 96, I have confirmed that Arribo IV contains large deposits of velocitium via manual geophysical surveying. Results indicate that the total amount of ore contained in this location is estimated to be 3.2e6 kilograms. This notably surpasses that of sites Delta-Rho and Alpha-Tau, which are currently responsible for 17% of the total velocitium ore processed by the Ulfuric Corporation. Conditions ground side are less than optimal, with Arribo IV possessing a surface gravity of 1.4G. Additionally, Arribo IV has produced complex multicellular life. The site of ore extraction is somewhat vegetated and native wildlife is abundant, requiring the establishment of a perimeter and regular inspections of extraction equipment. All of the above will increase the construction and maintenance costs of this site, but due to the sheer amount of raw velocitium and breathable atmosphere I officially recommend that production here be established.
​
Log 2 2:20 AM, August 3rd, 2249
Surveyor Clancy Marato, Arribo IV Log 2. Today is August 3rd, 2249 and the time is 2:20 AM Universal Standard Time. The location is Arribo IV, coordinates 33° North, 45° East. Ulfuric Corporation Velocitium Extraction Site Sigma-Phi.
Extraction of velocitium ore from what is now designated site Sigma-Phi has been approved. I await the delivery of the equipment necessary to begin extraction. A perimeter has begun to be established since I submitted my recommendation for site Sigma-Phi, although it is progressing slowly. The regulations of the Bureau of Biosphere Protection mandate that each organism within the perimeter must be captured, cataloged, and released outside of the perimeter before extraction can begin. The native wildlife continues to elude me, and I have yet to obtain a sample of any animal larger than a Raltsian rat. My daughter would love the creature I have named an "Erinnean Rabbit". An analog at best, but the buck teeth, large ears, and hopping remind me of a rabbit, even if it seems to have feathers instead of fur. This organism could be promising for breeding and selling as a pet.
​
Log 3 1:00 PM, October 15th, 2249
Surveyor Clancy Marato, Arribo IV Log 3. Today is October 15th, 2249 and the time is 1:00 PM Universal Standard Time. The location is Arribo IV, coordinates 33° North, 45° East. Ulfuric Corporation Velocitium Extraction Site Sigma-Phi.
Following the reprimand from my supervisor, I have ceased 'performing the job of a Xenobreeder' in addition to my duties as a Xenogeologist. There shall be no more mention of the species designated A-IV-Lepoaridae-I, previously called an Erinnean Rabbit, unless it concerns the establishment of the perimeter. The Erinnean Rabbit is one of the 76% of organisms that have been captured and re-released outside of the perimeter. None are being held within the habitation module provided to me by the Ulfuric Corporation.
The equipment to begin extraction is slated to arrive in one week, though assembly will have to wait until the BBP regulations are satisfied. Various plant analog species are currently being held to observe their proliferation methods, to prevent more from potentially entering the perimeter once extraction has begun, attracting the Erinnean Rabbits which feed upon some of them. Current projections predict that equipment setup will be able to begin in three weeks.
​
Log 4 10:17 AM, October 22nd, 2249
Surveyor Clancy Marato, Arribo IV Log 4. Today is October 22nd, 2249 and the time is 10:17 AM Universal Standard Time. The location is Arribo IV, coordinates 33° North, 45° East. Ulfuric Corporation Velocitium Extraction Site Sigma-Phi.
The extraction equipment has arrived. A recent, unintentional incident has occurred which corrupted footage of the interior of the habitation module. I do not consent to any entity that obtains these text logs to read them aloud or utilize text-to-speech software to monetize these text logs unless explicitly permitted by myself, Clancy Marato. This is per Section 3.1.9.a.v of the United Stars Constitution, which states that a being's personal experiences are owned by the being that experienced them and no other.
​
Log 5 12:00 PM, October 23rd, 2249
Surveyor Clancy Marato, Arribo IV Log 5. Today is October 23rd, 2249 and the time is 12:00 PM Universal Standard Time. The location is Arribo IV, coordinates 33° North, 45° East. Ulfuric Corporation Velocitium Extraction Site Sigma-Phi.
The unintentional incident referred to in Log 4 was due to percussive trauma as a result of an Erinnean Rabbit impacting a camera at high velocity. The Erinnean Rabbit was within the habitation module in the process of relocating it outside the perimeter.
​
Log 6 11:54 AM, December 1st, 2249
Surveyor Clancy Marato, Arribo IV Log 6. Today is October 23rd, 2249 and the time is 12:54 AM Universal Standard Time. The location is Arribo IV, coordinates 33° North, 45° East. Ulfuric Corporation Velocitium Extraction Site Sigma-Phi.
All organisms have been relocated outside of the perimeter, in accordance with BBP regulations. equipment assembly will commence tomorrow. There are no Erinnean Rabbits within the habitation module. Yes, my daughter's name is Erin. No, there will be no further delays in the extraction of the velocitium ore.
​
Log 7 2:00 PM, January 10th, 2250
Surveyor Clancy Marato, Arribo IV Log 7. Today is January 10th, 2250 and the time is 2:00 PM Universal Standard Time. The location is Arribo IV, coordinates 33° North, 45° East. Ulfuric Corporation Velocitium Extraction Site Sigma-Phi.
All extraction equipment has been assembled and the extraction of velocitium ore has begun. The current rate of extraction is 85 kg per 24 standard hours. This production rate is 23% slower than average, owing to the 1.4G experienced on the surface. This marks the end of my stay on Arribo IV, as I have observed no issues with the automated production and orbital delivery systems over the past two weeks. I submit my official request for a retrieval drone to be sent to Arribo IV. Despite the physical labor of capturing the organisms and the 1.4G experienced on the surface, I have not gained or lost a statistically relevant amount of mass. Therefore, there should be no change in the amount of fuel necessary for the journey between my home station and Arribo IV.
Log 8 10:00 AM, February 13th, 2250
Surveyor Clancy Marato, Arribo IV Log 8. Today is February 13th, 2250 and the time is 10:00 AM Universal Standard Time. The location is Arribo IV, coordinates 33° North, 45° East. Ulfuric Corporation Velocitium Extraction Site Sigma-Phi.
The retrieval drone has arrived. No issues with production and orbital delivery have been observed, other than the extraction rate slowing to 80 kg per 24 standard hours. I, and only I, now depart Arribo IV. Nothing will enter the retrieval drone aside from myself and the standard retrieval suit I was provided with.
​
Log 9 8:00 AM, April 5th, 2251
Surveyor Clancy Marato, Arribo IV Log 9. Today is April 5th, 2251 and the time is 8:00 AM Universal Standard Time. The location is Arribo IV, coordinates 33° North, 45° East. Ulfuric Corporation Velocitium Extraction Site Sigma-Phi.
It has been 416 universal standard days since I was last on Arribo IV. There are no issues with production or orbital delivery. Erin greatly enjoys the "rabbits" I named after her. How she acquired one I will not divulge. I have used my personal ship for this trip, and hereby release Ulfuric Corporation from the responsibility of any travel expenses incurred as stated in my employee contract. It was quicker to just get here myself.
Log 10 8:00 AM, May 7th, 2252
Surveyor Clancy Marato, Arribo IV Log 10. Today is May 7th, 2252 and the time is 8:00 AM Universal Standard Time. The location is Arribo IV, coordinates 33° North, 45° East. Ulfuric Corporation Velocitium Extraction Site Sigma-Phi.
It has been 399 universal standard days since I was last on Arrubo IV. Again, I have utilized my personal vehicle for travel due to expediency and no other reason. I hereby release Ulfuric Corporation from its responsibility for travel expenses as outlined in my contract. There are no issues with production or orbital delivery, and I recommend that a freight drone is sent to collect the velocitium ore sitting at the storage site in orbit.
Additionally, I hereby tender my resignation to the Ulfuric Corporation. My further employment is unnecessary due to the success of the pet shop I have opened. Erin is very happy her Dad will not be going on any more long trips, and Erinnean Rabbits both breed quickly and fetch a high price. My wife was very interested in another species native to Arribo IV, which as directed I did not mention in any of my logs. I named it the Tessic Cat.
​
For further contact, you can reach me at [clancy@maratopets.gal](mailto:clancy@maratopets.gal).
Upending this career is one of the best decisions I've made.
Concerningly, the BPP seems to believe that the animals native to Arribo IV are endangered.
Keep that information in mind if more extractors are to be placed on Arribo IV.
Yes, the Tessic cats are surprisingly tame for an undomesticated animal.
Occasionally they can get into mischief though.
Under no circumstances may Greg Smith be allowed to purchase an animal from Marato Pets, as clearly, he has no respect for 'xenobreeders'. I want him to know that.
​
Professionally,
Clancy Marato

You may be familiar with my prior effort post describing the problem that Gaijin has in its analysis of statistics. You can find that post here for reference.
TL:DR for that post: Gaijin’s win rate-based balancing system creates a positive feedback loop for bad vehicles that generally pushes away bad players leaving only good players playing them, pushing them further up in BR. Same thing happens for especially good vehicles being played much more by worse players keeping the win rate suppressed, not because of the vehicle being bad but by a “skill issue” for lack of a better term.
Anyways, many people brought up good points and a lot of wisdom and personal experience that got me thinking of solutions. I am a PhD student in economic policy, so statistics is a daily activity for me. I asked my colleagues to look over a proposal to see if it is statistically robust, and this is the consensus balancing algorithm that would be better than what Gaijin currently uses. I won’t be explaining multi-linear regressions like I did statistical bias in the last post, but if you want a brief overview of what they are and how they work, please refer to these 2 videos:
Linear Regression (SLR)-- watch the first 7 or so minutes of this one
Multiple Linear Regression (MLR)-- this video is only 5 minutes so watch the full thing
Think of these videos as your daily brain nourishment for understanding statistics not just in War Thunder, but everywhere in the world.
When creating our MLR, we want to think of a model that answers a question about data that we have. In our case, we are going to be looking at causal inference. A popular example would be, what health factors of an individual would determine the risk of them having lung cancer. Relevant information for that regression would be a person’s age, history of smoking, diet, income, parent/family history, etc. By taking a massive dataset with all of this information, say of 10,000, we can fit a regression that estimates an individual’s chance of getting cancer by using data from an existing group. A sample model for lung cancer may look something like this:
Chance of getting Lung Cancer = B0 +B1X1+B2X2+B3X3+B4X4+B5X5
Where based on the dataset:
B0= Base Chance of cancer
B1= Effect of Smoking where X1 is a binary variable (0 or 1) whether a person has smoked regularly at any point of their life
B2= Effect of Family History where X2 is a binary variable (0 or 1) if a person’s family has a history of lung cancer
B3= Effect of Age where X3 is a person’s age in years
B4= Effect of Income where X4 is a person’s income
B5= Effect of Diet where X5 is a value of 0 to 100 of a person’s diet health, 0 being a perfect diet and 100 being horrible, ranked by an expert.
With this information, we can take any individual, person i, plug in their relevant data, and get the risk they individually would get lung cancer based on the body of data we used to create the regression. If we have an individual that is 60 years old, who has smoked, does not have a family history of cancer, has a pretty good diet (ranked 25/100), and has an income of $50,000.
We can get this person’s expected chance of getting lung cancer in the following equation:
B0 +B1(1)+B2(0)+B3(60)+B4(50,000)+B5(25).
Any Bx is what is known as the marginal change in expected outcome based on a 1 unit change of and Xx. Now, if we had actual values for Bx for every term, we would simply plug them in, and solve the equation given the individual’s recorded data. The outcome would give an expected chance of cancer for that individual. So, with that explanation out of the way, back to War Thunder.
To create an MLR model, we will have to identify what value we want to predict, and what kinds of data we will use to predict it. Since Gaijin uses win rate as their primary statistic for balancing, we will use that as the value we want to predict. To create a model that will be used as a baseline to compare all other subgroups to, we will assume we are using every single vehicle’s statistics for the past 6 months entered individually into a dataset to get a universal model for predicting win rate per game mode. This specific model will be for Ground RB. The value we are predicting is win rate, and the values we will be using to predict win rate are:
X1=K/D
X2=Point Captures
X3=Kill Assists
X4=Spotting Assists
X5=Shots absorbed and bounced
X6=Time per life
So a model would like like this:
Win Rate = B0 +B1X1+B2X2+B3X3+B4X4+B5X5+B6X6
With each of the B’s being the marginal change in expected win rate based on a unit change in any of the associated X’s.
Once we run the regression, we will get values for all the B’s giving us the expected effect each of these statistics has on win rate. We don’t know what this data is, so we don’t know what is statistically significant or not to keep in the model, so any one of these statistics could be insignificant, or surprisingly significant. Only Gaijin knows.
So, what do we do when we have the general model for win rate? We can correct for the bias encountered in the previous post by just looking at win rate by creating a player skill-adjusted win rate. Here’s what I mean:
What we will do is take the average of every account’s player statistics for the relevant game mode, in this case, ground RB, and input those values as X’s. This will output a skill-adjusted expected win rate. In other words, inputting the recent account statistical averages for the players playing a vehicle will output an expected skill-adjusted win rate for a vehicle. If a vehicle is below this expected skill-adjusted win rate, it should be a candidate to move down in BR, while if it is above, then it could be moved up in BR.
Imagine Russian premium 10.0 with the 2S38, TURMS, and T80UD. This is generally considered a very powerful lineup but played by generally worse-than-average players. In the current system, Gaijin will try to balance these vehicles to get to a 50% win rate regardless of the population that plays these vehicles, leaving them arguably under-tiered due to the skill level of the players. In the new system, all of the players who play these vehicles will have their past 6 months of player data averaged and plugged into the generalized win rate model to give an estimation of what that win rate SHOULD be based on the average skill level of the players. This could give us an expected win rate of 45% or maybe even 40%, but either way, it will probably be lower than the standard 50% that Gaijin balances their game around.
In cases with bad vehicles being played by particularly good players, they may still be seeing above a 50% win rate even though they’re overtiered. By decreasing their battle rating, it may DECREASE their win rate due to the draw of worse players to these now lower BR vehicles. This should change the population composition of a vehicle and combat the feedback loop problems described in the previous post.
If Gaijin is ever brave enough to provide anonymized player statistics and vehicle statistics, we can see the populations that play each vehicle and balance them around the power of the vehicle, not the prowess of the player. This, in my opinion, is a much better system than the current “balance all win rates at 50%”.
If you have any questions or want further explanation, let me know and I’d be happy to make an edit to this post to explain. I am also open to feedback on this rough model and method of balancing.
PS: The numbers in the models are supposed to be indexing and subscripted, which didn't paste over correctly from the word doc.

I get paid on the 1st, on the 1st also I have my mortage payment. After watching more videos about YNAB and also setting up my budget I don't have enough left over to cover my mortgage. I have my accounts linked and the same bank that has the mortgage also receives my paycheck so in the years that I have had my mortgage I have never had an issue, late, or extra charges but in YNAB's eyes I won't have enough on the 1st to start my June Budget. Do I just "run with the punches" for now and figured as I go until hopefully a month or two from now I will have enough to cover all my monthly expenses?
A following question, I would like to have my emergecy fund of 6 months which should take me a few months to get there if I tighten up my budget (eating out category I see you). Do you all leave your emergency fund in your main account or is this when a high yield account comes into place and can help to at least make a little money here and there?

I work basically 24/7 on Saturdays my mom who is a professional caregiver comes in to help me. Take care of an elderly man who has Alzheimer’s and dementia as well as occasional paranoia episodes. It’s been getting rough mentally. I can’t seem to escape this feel of emptiness I’m told “WOW you’re doing a great job!” Or “you gave him so much more time to be alive cause of your excellent care” but I’ll be real. I don’t get paid much at all for how much time I am here on duty and my pay. I get told by my friends that I should report my situation. Thing is my boss/employer is my brother. The elder man I take care of is his old mentor. I originally accepted the low payment since I was told it’ll only last for 3 months. I’ve been here for over a year it’ll be 2 in late August. Still the same thing. I wouldn’t mind working here. As at the end of the day he isn’t a hard person to take care of. Yeah I lost a lot of sleep cause I’m having to wake up a lot through the night. My brother will tell me “sleep in the day” I try but same thing it’s super rare I get 4 hours of consecutive sleep. When I ask for a proper pay I get told “we don’t charge you for rent, food, water, power! What else do you want?!” I get upset cause I am here all the time my opportunities feel closed. And even when my mom is here on Saturdays I sometimes have to stay since I’m the only one strong enough to handle the elderly man if he has an episode. I feel trapped. My gf is relying on me I send her money for her things and the fact our cat needs medical attention which is just out of our budget… it’s rough.. idk what to do. From the start I was told “we are getting him to apply for Medicare assist living and they’ll pay for you caring for him and I don’t have to pay you anymore sounded amazing so I stayed waiting for it all to happen. I’ve been told “next month” for over a year…. I’m struggling financially, emotionally, even physically cause I just can’t find the will to eat anymore. I’m at my limit. Idk what to do