The fear family guy

I happened upon this reddit group while looking up those who are/have been on lovenox shots and decided it would be helpful for myself to share my story with others who could somewhat understand what I really went through.
I'm a 34F recovering from some traumatic events.
October 2023, I found out I was pregnant after several years of my husband and I trying. I was over the moon. Then began the 1st trimester fun. Over the next month, my morning sickness was more of an all day sickness. I pretty much survived on crackers and toast while I hid in my office and tried to survive my days at work. I started to experience shortness of breath but I though it could have been just because I was so fatigued. But then it got worse. I could hardly walk from office to office at work without being short of breath and having pains in my chest. No way could this be "normal".
I had my initial OB appointment set but it was still a couple weeks away. I saw my PCP and told her about my symptoms. During that office visit I told her just how bad the shortness of breath was and that it hurt in the center of chest. Since I had a little cough cuz it was so dry in the doctor office she diagnosed me as having "issues with allergies" but also had me tested for flu, strep, and covid. All negative. No blood tests or any scans done.
Two days later in the evening, I was sitting on the side of my bed when I had a coughing spell. The next thing I know I'm on the floor. At first my body felt heavy and I thought I was dreaming. When I opened my eyes I realize I ended up on floor face first and there was blood EVERYWHERE. I started screaming for my husband. I have no clue if I had passed out for just a few minutes or if it was longer. Judging by how much blood was there, it had to be at least a little while.
911 was called. I had a head wound several inches wide. I think when I passed out my head hit the corner of my nightstand and the floor kind caught my face. EMTs arrived and helped me off the floor (I think I passed out in the transport chair briefly). I was taken to our local ER. The doctor working that night stitched up the laceration carefully (29 stitches later) and said they were going to do some scans and bloodwork. I was worried about how all this would affect my unborn child but I also needed answers. The hushed whispers of some of the techs taking care of me had me starting to feel this cold fear creep into body and soul. Doctor said there was a huge embolism in my chest and they were going to get me transferred ASAP.
Once they found a hospital that could take me, off I went in the ambulance. At this point I had already spent most of the night and early morning in the ER. My husband and family had been up with me all night. My pregnancy wasn't known to my parents yet. What a way for them to l find out.
Once admitted to a different hospital, the staff went to work. Changed into a hospital gown. More scans. More blood work. Heart echo. Later that afternoon I was wheeled down to my thrombectomy. I found out right before the procedure just how life-threatening my condition was and due to my pregnancy I'd have to be awake for the procedure. I thought, not for the first time that day, that maybe I wasn't going to survive. The procedure took about 3 hours I believe. As I layed on the operating table I had felt every tug as they removed blood clot after blood clots. When the procedure was finished, I got to see how huge the clots in my chest were. They removed 15 of them.
During all this time I didn't sleep a wink. I was scared I was losing my baby. I was scared I was going to lose my life. That night when I was recovering, I was still terrified but exhausted. My right eye was swollen shut. I looked like I had gotten into a fight and lost. Found out that I had fractured my orbital socket in my fall but the following appointments in the next couple weeks would reveal that everything would heal okay on its own and my eyesight (once the swelling went down) would be okay.
While I was recovering from the thrombectomy, they did an ultrasound. I saw my baby on the monitor for the first time. I found out that I was about 8 weeks along and the baby was okay. I waS in the hospital for 4 days and then discharged home.
The following week it took me a while for me to stop being scared of being home alone. Thankfully I had family and friends willing to sit with me to keep me company. God bless the people who brought meals from my church. I couldn't enjoy them due to my morning sickness (still hadn't told anyone outside my family) but the love and food was appreciated.
The next couple months were full of appointments, high risk visits, lovenox shots, and trying to survive my first trimester. Every ultrasound I was nervous to see if my baby would be okay or not. Every time they said everything was progressing okay I'd sigh in relief.
However. I ended getting hospitalized again with severe pre-eclampsia at 25 weeks (March 2024). Blood flow in my placenta wasn't good and my baby wasn't growing. A few days later my kidneys and heart were having issues. My daughter had to be delivered via c-section. They couldn't wait any longer. At first I had hope. My spunky premie was a fighter. But her body/lungs were too weak. They tried everything in the NICU. My daughter died in my arms after being part of this world for 6 days.
I'm still recovering physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually from this ordeal. I'm still on lovenox shots at this point. Currently in the stages of working with a hematologist to figure out if my clotting issues were just pregnancy related or if I have some underlying condition.
So. If you stuck through this entire post, thanks for letting me share my story.

Hey! I’m a 32 year old guy, based in Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, UK. Wondering if Reddit can be the answer in helping me find someone for chats, dates and hopefully a relationship!
About me:

• A big fan of Movies/Series and love going to the cinema. I enjoy all the usual ‘geeky’ stuff (Star Wars, Lord of The Rings, Marvel, Harry Potter etc and the odd bit of anime e.g. Studio Ghibli movies and the occasional shonen series) as well as dumb comedies, romance and more serious sci-fi and drama movies. I haven’t seen all that many horrors, but if you’re a horror fan I’d happily watch them with you!
  
• I own all the consoles (Switch/Xbox/PS5) as well as a PC, but play far less than the cost of them warrants as I seem to default to Movies/Series/Youtube when I’m chilling (see above). Recently I've played a bit of Diablo IV. Co-op sessions with a loved one would be awesome though.
  
• I gym 3 times a week and I like to get outdoors. Walks at lunchtime, cycle rides at the weekend when there is nice weather etc.
  
• Music-wise I listen to pretty much anything from Pop to Dance to Hip Hop to Heavy Metal. In the car, one day you might catch me dancing along to Charli XCX (she is a bit of a guilty pleasure, her tunes always seem to be a bop?) on Radio 1, whilst on another I could be singing every word of System of a Down on a Spotify playlist of music from my teenage angst days.
  
• I enjoy travel - both city breaks as well as typical beach resort holidays. Previous destinations have included Berlin, Paris, Amsterdam, Barcelona and Egypt (twice). I was also lucky to visit South Africa and China as part of an old job.
  
• I am a parent. I see my son (9 years old) regularly every other weekend, he is awesome! I know this can sometimes put people off but I would say that I still have a lot of free time and a lot of love to give. And be reassured that I do not expect someone to take on mothering responsibilities, just being kind and a friend is enough! I am open to both having more children or not having more children in the future.
  
• I would say I pretty much have my shit together. I have a good career and am a homeowner. I can drive. I have good hygiene, try to dress well and am domesticated (I keep my home clean and tidy on my own no problems). Can cook a little and follow a recipe well enough. Just need someone to share life with now!
  
• Looks wise I’m 5’11”, slim/athletic build, mixed race, dark hair, dark eyes. See me here. And more on my profile here
  

In the future I hope to:

• Go further with my outdoor pursuits. I would love give a try to new activities e.g. hiking, scaling a mountain (nothing big, Snowdon perhaps?), bouldering, stand up paddle, learning to ski
  
• See more of the UK. I recently went to Scotland for the first time in my 32 years! I did some sightseeing around Edinburgh and walked up Arthur’s Seat. But I still have never been to Wales, Cornwall, the Peak District, the Lake District, the Highlands etc!
  
• Tick off a few dream destinations on the bucket list. Some of my top priorities would include Iceland, Walt Disney World/Universal Studios in Florida, Japan and a US Roadtrip.
  
• Find someone!
  

What I’m looking for:

• Someone kind, caring, affectionate. Ideally UK-based.
  
• Looking for a relationship with the potential for long term. Someone up for things like regular date nights, holidays/weekend breaks, cuddles in front of movies or series, cooking together. Celebrating the good times and successes together and supporting each other through the tough moments. And in the longer term living together, making a nice family life (pets, children - if you want that).
  
• Looks wise I’m very open to all races and shapes/sizes, my dating history has been quite a range! If you are quite feminine and like a lot of typically ‘girly’ things (think loving pink/pastel colours, cute animals/characters, baking, hair and beauty) then I do find that quite attractive, but wouldn’t say that is exclusively my ‘type’.
  
• A passion for outdoors/nature would be cool and if you already have an outdoor hobby such as climbing, stand up paddle, skiing etc and would be willing to introduce me to it, even better! Not essential though!
  

If you think we could be a good match then please do send a message. A bit of info about yourself or something we have in common would be a great starting point. Age range approx 25-35 so hopefully we understand the same cultural references and jokes although would open to considering out of this if you like what you read or think we have lots in common!
Hoping to hear from you soon!

I (28m) have been divorced for 2 years. I have an amazing son and I get more time with him than most fathers get to enjoy. My ex wife is a terrible co parent and is extremely abusive and disgusting towards me. However, she is a good mom and always does her best for our child. When we got together, it was instant love. We had an amazing 6 years together. She was abused by her previous husband and I did everything I could to make her feel safe. When we found out our son was coming, I couldn't stop smiling. It was like a dream come true. Three months into the pregnancy, something happened. Her entire personality died. She started having hallucinations, psychosis episodes etc. I work in the medical field so I understand what was going on and tried to help her through it as best I could. After our son was born, PPD hit her hard. I encouraged her to go to the doctors but she refused to be put on meds due to her breastfeeding. I tried to convince her that it was best but she chose that hill to die on so I supported her. Fast forward two years, the anxiety and bipolar never went away. She was verbally abusive towards me, and was constantly trying to gaslight me into thinking I was the problem and I was abusive. Constantly playing the victim. She went months without paying any of her bills and I had to sink my savings in her account so she could pay her mortgage. I eventually convinced her to combine our finances and did all of the budgeting. She was unhappy she wasn't allowed to spend bill money on shopping which was her coping mechanism and claimed I was financially abusive. As you can imagine, I finally had enough and filed for divorce. I did everything I could to make it better for our son. I offered her the house to which she said no. I also let her keep the vehicles and everything she asked for. While I wasn't happy anymore I still loved her more than anyone. We kept coming back to each other over the first year and it destroyed me. I had my relationships and she had hers. I have only had one serious relationship since and it ended in disaster. After that, I hit tinder really hard and found out I was quite successful. So queue an entire year of playing the game and messing around. I had also started going to therapy to address the issues I had and to better myself.
When everything went down, I discovered that my friends weren't really my friends and I found a new friend group including people from her family who had seen everything that went on. This group consisted of a bunch of coworkers who came to my aid during the hardest times. There was a group of girls who lived together. We will call them Jen, Becca, and Bre. Jen is engaged, Becca is a walking red flag who flirts with everyone and Bre is the youngest of them all and had just started life outside of school. Naturally, I caught feelings for Becca very quickly. I knew it was a terrible idea and stopped myself from pursuing anything more than friends although I admit it took a lot of self control. Bre started seeing my roommate and I had the misfortune of watching her be treated very poorly by him. When they broke up I messaged her and offered advice and comfort. We have talked to each other since then and became your typical guy best friend/ girl best friend combo. We started hanging out and going on friend dates rather than date people for real to give ourselves time to heal. Every time there was a new girl in my life I would talk to her and vice versa. I always maintained noone was good enough for her as I truly believed she deserved someone who was perfect and loved her for who she really was. This continued for months nothing romantic, no physical contact except for an occasional hug. Strictly platonic. A month ago I started noticing little things like her staring at me when I wasn't looking, and being a little irritated when I brought up a new girl. I am a moron and never put it together. One day at a therapy appointment I mentioned this to my therapist in passing and she stopped and circled back and helped me come to realize what was going on. I had been pushing down feelings for her for months at this point without realizing it. That night I asked her on our usual friend date out to eat. There was a waiter that was her type and she wasn't interested at all. I also noticed she barely responded to the guys trying to snap her. Two days later I asked her to hang out again. She said she wanted a movie night at home and I was more than happy. We watched a few movies and ended up on the couch. She laid down and put her head in my lap. I noticed her looking up at me every few minutes and eventually took the hint and I'm sure you can imagine the rest. We have spent almost every day together since and quite honestly there's something about this girl that makes me feel like nothing was ever wrong in the first place. She's everything I want in a partner and knows more about me than anyone else and still chose me.
Looking back on my marriage this entire situation petrifies me. I have lost everything once and am scared to lose it all again. I want to give her a chance and know that I would be happy but also am nervous about what could happen.

I come from “dysfunctional” family. Distant and agressive dad (never asked how I’m doing in my life, always hateful towards mom, only called her bad names, a bit abusive), and overly emotional mom, express her emotions to the top, saying things like “I rather kill myself” while kids hear it, easily fires up and makes a conflict if she wants a conflict.
“Mental” problems were never a thing, my parents have 0 underatanding that something like depression exists, well maybe they do know, but they don’t assume that it is something to worry about. I have expressed suicidal thoughts to my mom and she just laughed it off (never thought that I could be honestly struggling with that.
I do think I have mental problems, because when I try to observe my behaviour, I guess it is problematic. I don’t have money for therapy, and where I live such thing as professional therapist don’t even exist (in my city). I know it is excuses, but honestly I can’t allow myself therapy in my current financial situation.
But, to describe myself, I OFTEN get into a “mood” when I don’t talk at all, you can be next to me telling me things, asking me questions and I will behave like I can’t see/hear you. I will literally do what I’m doing, mind my own things and won’t even look at you or respond to anything that is being said. Sometimes I feel good to see that I hurt people around me, for example: I randomly eneded my friendship with my best friend and she was telling me how hurt she is and in a way it felt “good” to hear that.
I avoid people, I cut out all my friends, I never had a relationship that would last longer than a month, because all the guys would get annoyed that I’m cold like ice (don’t hug, not touchy, struggling to feel comfortable to be affectionate), but I find it easy to annoy them or say horrible things to them.
The only thing where I feel at peace, where I give my all self and believe in: is my work.
I’m not proud of any of this, I know other people don’t behave in such ways, but it is natural to me.
I don’t want to self diagnose myself for sure. But does any of my behaviour rings any bells, any mental issues that I should look up into.
Because I destroyed, hurt everything around me and still do, except my work and work related people.
(sorry for bad english)

Hey! I’m a 32 year old guy, based in Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, UK. Wondering if Reddit can be the answer in helping me find someone for chats, dates and hopefully a relationship!
About me:

• A big fan of Movies/Series and love going to the cinema. I enjoy all the usual ‘geeky’ stuff (Star Wars, Lord of The Rings, Marvel, Harry Potter etc and the odd bit of anime e.g. Studio Ghibli movies and the occasional shonen series) as well as dumb comedies, romance and more serious sci-fi and drama movies. I haven’t seen all that many horrors, but if you’re a horror fan I’d happily watch them with you!
  
• I own all the consoles (Switch/Xbox/PS5) as well as a PC, but play far less than the cost of them warrants as I seem to default to Movies/Series/Youtube when I’m chilling (see above). Recently I've played a bit of Diablo IV. Co-op sessions with a loved one would be awesome though.
  
• I gym 3 times a week and I like to get outdoors. Walks at lunchtime, cycle rides at the weekend when there is nice weather etc.
  
• Music-wise I listen to pretty much anything from Pop to Dance to Hip Hop to Heavy Metal. In the car, one day you might catch me dancing along to Charli XCX (she is a bit of a guilty pleasure, her tunes always seem to be a bop?) on Radio 1, whilst on another I could be singing every word of System of a Down on a Spotify playlist of music from my teenage angst days.
  
• I enjoy travel - both city breaks as well as typical beach resort holidays. Previous destinations have included Berlin, Paris, Amsterdam, Barcelona and Egypt (twice). I was also lucky to visit South Africa and China as part of an old job.
  
• I am a parent. I see my son (9 years old) regularly every other weekend, he is awesome! I know this can sometimes put people off but I would say that I still have a lot of free time and a lot of love to give. And be reassured that I do not expect someone to take on mothering responsibilities, just being kind and a friend is enough! I am open to both having more children or not having more children in the future.
  
• I would say I pretty much have my shit together. I have a good career and am a homeowner. I can drive. I have good hygiene, try to dress well and am domesticated (I keep my home clean and tidy on my own no problems). Can cook a little and follow a recipe well enough. Just need someone to share life with now!
  
• Looks wise I’m 5’11”, slim/athletic build, mixed race, dark hair, dark eyes. See me here. And more on my profile here
  

In the future I hope to:

• Go further with my outdoor pursuits. I would love give a try to new activities e.g. hiking, scaling a mountain (nothing big, Snowdon perhaps?), bouldering, stand up paddle, learning to ski
  
• See more of the UK. I recently went to Scotland for the first time in my 32 years! I did some sightseeing around Edinburgh and walked up Arthur’s Seat. But I still have never been to Wales, Cornwall, the Peak District, the Lake District, the Highlands etc!
  
• Tick off a few dream destinations on the bucket list. Some of my top priorities would include Iceland, Walt Disney World/Universal Studios in Florida, Japan and a US Roadtrip.
  
• Find someone!
  

What I’m looking for:

• Someone kind, caring, affectionate. Ideally UK-based.
  
• Looking for a relationship with the potential for long term. Someone up for things like regular date nights, holidays/weekend breaks, cuddles in front of movies or series, cooking together. Celebrating the good times and successes together and supporting each other through the tough moments. And in the longer term living together, making a nice family life (pets, children - if you want that).
  
• Looks wise I’m very open to all races and shapes/sizes, my dating history has been quite a range! If you are quite feminine and like a lot of typically ‘girly’ things (think loving pink/pastel colours, cute animals/characters, baking, hair and beauty) then I do find that quite attractive, but wouldn’t say that is exclusively my ‘type’.
  
• A passion for outdoors/nature would be cool and if you already have an outdoor hobby such as climbing, stand up paddle, skiing etc and would be willing to introduce me to it, even better! Not essential though!
  

If you think we could be a good match then please do send a message. A bit of info about yourself or something we have in common would be a great starting point. Age range approx 25-35 so hopefully we understand the same cultural references and jokes although would open to considering out of this if you like what you read or think we have lots in common!
Hoping to hear from you soon!

On Friday, my husband and I were celebrating our wedding anniversary. I had the day off and had been planning a nice date for us for a while. I wanted to give him full "princess" treatment, as it were. I planned the evening, told him the dress code expectations (clean but casual, taking his level of comfort into consideration), did all the driving (I got my license very late in life so he usually drives when we go out, or we Uber if we're really cutting loose) so cleaned my car inside and out, got him flowers, chocolates and a card - the whole 9. I felt happy to reciprocate the thoughtfulness he shows me.
Dinner went well and we stopped at a nearby bar we like for an after dinner drink and feather bowling. There was a band playing in the patio/stage area so it was a bit crowded, and the lanes were full, so we had one beer and watched a little hockey before deciding to head home. We left through the patio area where the band was playing. Someone had their phone out recording them, so my husband walked ahead and kinda ducked under to stay out of shot, while I stood back for just a second to figure my own exit path.
The second he was at a distance from me, a random, older, "I definitely listen to Jimmy Buffet" looking guy appears next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder saying "come here". Reminds me of the overly friendly drunks we run into at the marina, so despite the fact I hate being touched especially by strangers, I don't immediately do anything, just trying to think of some polite way to excuse myself. Before I can even form words, he says "I'm going to kiss you" and I froze, like...wtf did he just say? What is happening? Then he says "you can kiss me back", and that's when the panic attack started. Mind you this whole interaction lasted less than a commercial, maybe 15-20 seconds
I snaked out of his arm and FLED to the parking lot. The door guy had seen me running like my ass was on fire, and husband was almost to the car. I told my husband what happened and he was immediately, obviously pissed. He wanted to go back in and start something, give the dude a piece of his mind or cold clock him, whatever. I was in pure panic mode where all I want to do is run and keep running until the threat is gone, manage to convince him to get in the car and just go.
I have a panic disorder - panic attacks where I drop everything and run, leave the area, disappear. These attacks can happen randomly or be triggered by high stress/anxiety moments. Once in the grip of one, it's physically exhausting. My amygdala freaks tf out, adrenaline surges and then crashes leaving me shaky and skittish.
This event has, at least temporarily set my mental health progress back a couple of steps. Through mindfulness and managing my stressors, I'd not had a random panic attack in well over a year, and 6 months without needing meds. Saturday, the day after, I had to work. Once in my car, that hyper-vigilant "I am not safe" feeling, where my nerves are just burning and I feel like I'm going to jump out of my own skin and there's a barely contained scream just behind my diaphragm, kicked in. I just focused on getting through my shift without fucking up too much.
I've lost about 85lbs in the past few years, going from 240+lbs to 160 at 5'9". I had so much confidence in my new body, I felt cute! I was in a dress that looked good and hadn't fit well in years...and now I find I miss the invisibility that came with my bigger body. I've dealt with SA by ex-partners and friends before, and in that panic attack every non-consensual encounter bubbled to the surface of my mind and I felt a white hot hate for men. Yup, sure, not all men but somehow always a fucking man.
I don't know how to feel, and I'm in the process of finding a therapist I can afford that takes my insurance cuz all this is clearly in need of professional unpacking. I love my husband, he is a good, decent, emotionally intelligent and respectful man so I know they exist but right now I find myself distrusting every cishet male and believing the worst possible things about them. And I am angry that the actions of one idiot could ruin a night I'd put so much thought and effort into, that those actions could rip out my new-found confidence in my body and replace it with fear, even if temporarily.
I'm fucking tired boss.

Hi I’m Li 14 (f) and my sister Dia is 17. It all started in December, my sister asked me and my mom if we could got to our schools rival basketball game, of course me being happy that my sister wanted to hang out with said yes. Little did I know that was a big mistake. During the game me and my sister got separated and she snuck off and left the building so I was alone with a lot of people that I didn’t know. I have extreme social anxiety and I have to calm myself down in big crowds. During that time my sister was hanging out with her foolish friends and got Sa’d. After that there was a shooting that we were caught in the middle of. Thankfully me and her got out because I observed the crowd and noticed that the police were not calm and were putting on vest. Fast forward to January my sister got raped. She snuck out again and I was the one that had to tell my mom. And my mom is really sensitive. But when I told her the only thing that she was talking about was different ways to beat Dia and the scary thing was that she would actually do it, si I begged her to be optimistic about why she might have snuck out. I told my mom to wait to call the police until 9 a.m. During that time I went to what I knew best which was going mute and not talking, crying, and cleaning. I didn’t have thoughts, ideas, it was like there was a black hole inside of me. When I felt like the time was right it told my mom to go outside, and there was a police officer driving past and my mom flagged him down, when the police officer was in the house, I heard crying but when I saw my mom it was her fake cry, not her real one, it made me feel disgusted, and like she only wanted the attention. There was only one person that I knew she could be at but we were on bad terms, and that was my dad. He was the first person that I called, after one ring he answered, and I asked where is she to him crying and sounding defeated, he told me to calm down then we need to talk and that she is okay and it would be best if we meet up. So we all meet up at my great aunts house. I saw my dad for the first time in over a year, and although it wasn’t on the best terms, I still wanted to run up to him and cry, but I didn’t because it wasn’t about me it was about Dia. She told me, my dad, my mom, and my great aunt that she was raped and threatened. My dad being the protective guy that he is said that we should go and talk to the police and got to the hospital to confirm that she was sa’d. We stayed in the hospital for about 10-12 hours taking shifts, because there could only be 2 people back there at a time. My mom and stepmom talked to each other for the first time, and I hung out with my dad and younger sister Ayah. The process took a long time, but it was confirmed that she was raped. After we left the hospital, we went back to our moms house and started packing to stay with our dad until everything was situated. When I got done putting the last suitcase in the trunk, my mom leaned down at the window at 11:50 p.m. and said “ I hope y’all are up and ready for school” after she said that I started crying, like what did she not get by her daughter was raped, it’s not something that goes away in a few hours. I lost so much respect for her after that. And for the next couple of months we were living with our dad full time until the case was figured out. During that time me and Dia would make jokes on our moms mental and physical abuse. One day our stepmom overheard me and asked what we were talking about, and if everything was okay at my moms house, and me and Dia saying yes, because she had normalized the abuse for years. But my stepmom told my dad and they had a talk on abuse and how it wasn’t normal. My dad and stepmom then contacted their lawyer and told him what happened. Then my sister Dia said that we should write letters on how the abuse was carried out, and why. And I agreed that it should be fine, but it wasn’t, during the time of her writing her letters, she would stay up trying to perfect them, she started sleeping in my room because she felt scared, and me being comforting, said yes, but that would be my biggest mistake inviting her in my personal space. One night she climbed up my stairs on my bunk bed and held my hands and stared into my eyes at like 3 in the morning and that scared the heck out of me. I’m not one to have any fears but whenever she came near me she scared me so much as if she was possessed and I can feel when something isn’t right but that’s were she got me. Every time me and her were alone she would say something that made no sense, and I felt like I was going crazy until she left to go to the bathroom and it was me, my stepmom and my dad, I had a panic attack and told them how she was acting, and at first they thought I was jealous, because she was getting all of the attention, but I don’t blame them for thinking that way. That night when they all went to sleep, Dia cried at my doorway where I couldn’t see her face, but there was light behind her, she said “I’m the sacrifice” and then left out of the room and went down to the second floor. I was so scared that night because I thought she was going to be harmed, or do the harming. It didn’t take me that long to fall asleep but I told me too long to wake up. All I could hear was my dad calling my name and I eventually got up. I unlocked my door, I walked out to my sisters outside my room. My little sister playing with cards, cards that I had never seen. And Dia looking menacingly in the corner of her room. My stepmom had jury duty that day and my dad was going to take her. As soon as they left my sister had two phones in her hand, and started talking about how we’re Dominican, mind you we are African American and Indigenous, and my little sister is mixed with African American and Haitian, so I was so confused and I looked at my phone for the time and Dia tried to take it say that the wasn’t real and that everything was fake the she started yelling. And attacked me, I was on the edge of my lower bunk, and my litter sister was right next to me. I put her in the corner of my room, to protect her because I thought I was going to have to fight Dia physically, which I’m 5”2, 115 pounds and I’m buff, and do weightlifting and know mixed martial arts, so I kinda of could hold my own, but she didn’t know her strength, she’s smaller than me, but it felt like I was trying to fight a leopard. But my dad ended up calling me and telling me to bring my little sister down to the car because they didn’t have a good feeling, and by the time he took her in the car Dia was acting as crazy as the joker. And apparently she called the police with my mom and made it seem like there was child abuse going on at my dads house but honestly it was the complete opposite, I’ve never felt a sense of normalcy in years. We went down to the first floor and the police were at the front door, they asked specifically for all the women in the house, because there was an incomplete call and they said it was a women’s voice. The only person that I thought of was my sister Dia because she was the only one with the house phones in her hands. And the police asked if everything was okay and she turned to my stepmom and said she needs to leave and said a lot of bad stuff, but in conclusion, she assaulted two police officers, recorded like she wasn’t acting completely insane, and she also lied and said that me and her were kidnapped and that she’s 18 and I’m 16, which I talked to the police separately and told them that she had been through a lot, and that we were not kidnapped and that we came here on our own terms, and that I’m 14 and she’s 16. The police were very nice and understanding. Because we are black in a mainly white neighborhood my dad begged them to please have mercy on her and I’ve never seen him cry like he did that day, it broke me mentally and cause my trust issues to go up. That day was long a traumatizing because I get really scared when people are yelling at me are shouting. My stepmom and dad fought so hard for my sister and me and now they have major trust issues with everyone, I feel really bad for them because Dia has put our younger sister on the line of possibly being adopted because of her false lies, she also lied and said that I was doing heavy drugs and I had to take a drug test in front on my dad and stepmom which was humiliating and I degraded my name and I felt like I didn’t have purpose on this earth because of my sister Dia. We had court and the judge said that I had to go back with my mom, hi to therapy, and that I wouldn’t be able to see my dad until the next weekend, I took a walk during the court case and I was apparently wanted by 50 different sheriffs, they found me and I was really confused, I gave my dad and stepmom one last hug that day and cried profusely, I saw about three other sheriffs crying as well. My mom made two walk me to her car, and made it seem like I was a prisoner just missing the chains and jumpsuit. I ended up talking to one of the sheriffs and he gave me some good advice to keep my head up and keep going, so that’s what I did and I talked to him about possibly getting myself emancipated, which I don’t really want. I went in the car with my sister and she was yelling a crying the entire time I was in the car and scared the absolute crap out of me. That next Friday I packed my clothes and stuff that I wanted to go to my dad’s house, and my sister started coming at me with words and I tried to take my water bottle back from her and she kicked me in my stomach and told me to start crying but I didn’t and I pushed her back off of me, I’m self defense and I got so mad at the fact that I couldn’t really fight her, so I let out every word that would hurt someone and I never cussed that much in my life but I didn’t notice how much I was cussing until I heard my Nana at the bottom of the stairs, my sister went downstairs and laughed at me, and then she went into the living room where I sleep every night and she took my Beats, phone charger, and epi pen and hid them throughout the house. She’s had so many episodes that I feel like I’m going crazy, I have multiple videos of her episodes out of self defense. My mom told me that I couldn’t text or call my dad, so I snuck and called him to inform him of what has been happening, I believe that it’s child endangerment if my mom leaves me alone with my sister. She honestly does stuff or says stuff when my mom leaves me alone with her. She was jealous of me and tried to attack me, she even threw a full candle at my head because she thought I was the cause of all of the false and childish decisions she made. She still has episodes a lot, and I want to live with my dad. She put such a negative effect on their lives, and now we all have to go to court because of her lies. She even knows who raped her and she protects them with her whole life and lies for them, and she lied about my dad trying to kidnap us, she ruined her relationship with a lot of people and all for what? Just to fit in, it’s really sad how much people change their lives for other peoples judgment. Today is my birthday and I’m at my dads house. I really don’t want to go over to my mom’s house. I really need advice. I just want a better and more peaceful life.

2,5 months ago I (25f) I started to have a crush on a coworker of mine ...while I was still in a relationship.i told my crush that I felt something for her and she said that despite me being a handsome man ,I was in a relationship and she was emotionally somewhere else that couldn't work(another guy from work that she felt something for him but he was in a relationship) and she was healing from it.long story short for various reasons I broke up with my gf.basically the most important was that I felt something for another girl.
Now here come the crazy part. 2 weeks after my breakup I decided to pursue my crush..texting,invitations for coffee etc.She also invited me with some other of her friends to a bar .However she told me that getting coffee with me was totally friendly and that she doesn't want to give me any rights. Now during coffee meeting she explained that she was in an abusive and toxic relationship (btw she broke up 1 year ago) and that she isn't 100% ready for a relationship. However during the bar meeting she was very touchy feely ,grabbed my ass ,we were very close cheek to cheek etc but none of us made a move
After 2 -3 dates she said that she doesn't see me 100% friendly, she is attracted to me and she would fuck me , that her family has liked me and that they said that I am good for her,however I don't deserve her ,that she would hurt me ,that she is emotionally unavailable and that she might afraid to enter something new..she also said that there is attraction but no feelings yet
She does want to go out with me and get to know me ,and that if I had left her she would be sad.
We also hugged very tight and very not friendly ,however when I said I want to kiss her she said no ..she told me that she doesn't want to do something that might regret it..
Important to say that during our meetings I know that she feels sexually attracted to me
Any help?

Kinkajou was flying in the crisp, chilly morning winds as she flew through the Rocky, and jagged cliffs that made up the Jade Mountain Range. Kinkajou was flying with nine other dragonets, four RainWings and five nightwings. They had been flying for a couple of hours, so they were exhausted. 

Kinkajou spotted a familiar Nightwing handing out scrolls to students. The Nightwing looked at Kinkajou, before her eyes narrowed at her. 

If it was a couple of years back where I knew all that I know now, I’d have had the deed (sex) done atleast through hookup/short term relationships. All these years I didn’t do it because of 2 reasons. 1 - blasphemy, 2 - commitment/personality issues 3 - being an example for younger sibling
1- at my end, it’s considered bad to have sexual relationships before marriage. Hence I was hoping I might get married soon so let’s hold on. Although I was involved in few relationships long distance and have performed the deed (sex) virtually. Ik Ik, it’s as if saying I can swim after watching YT tuts. But what I mean is I was scared about bringing insult to me and family as I belong to one of the reputed fam.

1. So I am a Third culture kid basically and I struggle with my bunch of mental disorders. I was under depression since age of 18 for more than 5 years or so. Now due to this I haven’t had any healthy relationships with anyone; forget about girls not even guys. Also I am bad at relationships as my life has been very separated from my kith and kin as we live faraway from my parents place. So the world revolved around just parents and siblings and few friends among whom I was always someone different and not so relatable bcz yknow I did not have the sense of identity. Well I still don’t lol. But what i am trying to say is due to all these insecurities I never entered into relationships as I knew this pretty well that I would break their heart which I didn’t want over my needs.

So, All these years I have been fixing myself and now seem to be in a healthy position to be in relationship.
With that said, I can’t stop thinking am i too late for the party and there’s a lot to mature at this learning curve? Would it seem awkward to mention I have never had actual physical relationship and sex? Would any girl confide in me because of my lack of experience in handling relationships? Would I be even able to identify who’s right for me?

Christianity is Objectively True
Christianity isn’t based on any abstract belief system. It’s based entirely on historical events which took place. If Jesus existed, did mighty miracles, was crucified, and rose again on the third day in glory, this would mean His message is one of truth and authority. If someone came with the power to override the laws of nature you would believe what they tell you regarding how the universe works. So the question is did these events really take place or is it just some fairytale?
The first thing to do would be to examine the documents in question. The primary documents proposed comprise of the New Testament, which consist of the four gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke and John (the first 3 were written before 70 AD, John was written around 70 AD). Then there is Acts (early church history), the epistles (letters detailing instruction to early churches), and revelation (a book of prophecy).
The first 4 gospels are all written with the express purpose of being eyewitness accounts, written either by direct apostles of Christ or those who knew the apostles. All four of these are what you generally would expect with these sorts of accounts. There are slight contradictions (as expected), however they all combine together to create the same detailed message. At the same time they consistently get an impressive amount of historical and geographical details correct for the time, showing they were written early as they wouldn’t have been able to google the info. Conveniently, they get so many details right that the gospel accounts fit into history like a jigsaw puzzle piece. What this tells us is that the writers were concerned with the utmost accuracy in their recording of events. Sources outside the bible exist commenting on early Christianity, and none of them deny that Christ existed. Rather than deny He did any miracles (as the evidence was overwhelming) they instead only slandered Him (ref. the Talmud, Julian the Apostate). Rather than present His dead body, they falsely claim His disciples stole it.
If we check other historical sources such as Josephus, we can fill in omissions of information in stories reported by the gospel. Matthew’s gospel writes that Joseph was afraid to return somewhere because of Archeleus. We know from other writings outside the bible that Archeleus existed and was very bloodthirsty. This is just one example out of many.
The writers of the gospels also were thoroughly convinced that they had witnessed and interacted with the Risen Christ, as their lives show they spent the rest of their days going and preaching the gospel to the Jews and foreign nations. They would often be beat up, flogged and punished severely for this, which would make no sense at all if they were making it all up. It would have been easier for them to just remain in their ordinary lives, with their families, rather than be ousted from their home country for being “criminals”. At the very least some of them died for their confession. They cared very deeply about accuracy (as referenced before), but now we can see they were thoroughly convinced of their experience. Their writings are not that of mad people, since mad people rarely ever work together for long periods of time. Yet we see complex philosophical concepts in the New Testament which would be impossible for mentally insane people to make. This demonstrates the absurdity of claiming they stole His body.
Aside from personal miracles I’ve experienced (you can see my testimony on my profile), the God of the bible actually challenged every so-called god to do what only He has ever done. That is, to foretell the future with incredible accuracy. He said of Himself that He reveals the end from the beginning.
Firstly, is Christ Himself. During His time on earth in Israel, as part of the Old Covenant, they required a temple in order to fulfil the ceremonial law. This temple was absolutely huge and very beautiful. The gates were so large that they required 20 men to open and close, and at night they were bolted with iron. Christ foretold of its destruction, saying:
Luke 21:5-6 5 Then, as some spoke of the temple, how it was adorned with beautiful stones and donations, He said, 6 “These things which you see—the days will come in which not one stone shall be left upon another that shall not be thrown down.”
Luke 21:20-24 20 “But when you see Jerusalem surrounded by armies, then know that its desolation is near. 21 Then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains, let those who are in the midst of her depart, and let not those who are in the country enter her. 22 For these are the days of vengeance, that all things which are written may be fulfilled. 23 But woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days! For there will be great distress in the land and wrath upon this people. 24 And they will fall by the edge of the sword, and be led away captive into all nations. And Jerusalem will be trampled by Gentiles until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.
And we know from history, approximately 40 years after the crucifixion of Christ, the second temple was totally destroyed by the Romans, who killed many of the Jews with the sword, taking them captive into their own nations.
Historians such as Josephus (a Jew who fought for Rome during this siege), and Tacitus (a pagan Roman govenor), and the Talmud all wrote of this event which took place. All of these sources state that miraculous omens took place in the second temple before its destruction, such as the gates of the temple (which require 20 people to open and close), opening by themselves at night, voices telling things to people in the temple, amongst other things. What is striking is the Talmud (which is a collection of Jewish rabbinic writings) says that these signs appeared after 30 AD (matching the crucifixion of Christ). The Talmud also mentioned how each year the Jews would celebrate the day of atonement, in which a scapegoat would be sacrificed for the sins of the nations would lead to a crimson thread miraculously turning white, showing the sins of the nation had been forgiven. After around 30 AD this never happened again, which fulfils what the prophet Jeremiah foretold, saying God would create a new covenant.
Christ has been written of many many many years before He was even born. Psalm 22, is quoted by Jesus when He is on the cross, saying “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”. If one then turns to it, and reads through it, we can see crucifixion being described. It was written by King David around 1000 BC, whereas the earliest records we have of crucifixion is 600 BC. King David was never crucified in his life. And yet, halfway through the psalm it begins to speak of all the foreign nations turning to worship the God of the Jews, which has come to pass after His crucifixion. The chances of this actually taking place are very small, yet it has happened, defying all odds.
Isaiah 52 and 53 prophesy Christ dying for the sins of the world, and rising again, justifying many in very strong detail. To quote a small section of it: He is despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows well acquainted with grief. We hid, as it were, our faces from Him. He is despised and we did not esteem Him. Surely He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows. Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities. The chastisement for our peace was upon Him and by His stripes we are healed.
Genesis 22 shows the LORD, who had just promised Abraham that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars of the sky, then commands him to slay his son, Isaac. Therefore Abraham reasoned within himself that Isaac would be raised from the dead, as God could not fail to fulfil His promise. Isaac carried the wood up the mountain, just as Christ carried His cross. Abraham was very old at this stage, so Isaac could have easily resisted him and fled, yet it seems he wilfully gave his life, fearing God, just as Christ did the same. And then the place was called "the LORD will provide", after the event.
Daniel 7 shows that the Exalted Messiah, the Son of Man would come with clouds. Christ gave Himself the title. Interestingly the Son of Man is to receive worship from all nations. The Aramaic word used is pelakh which is used exclusively of deities. This gives the Son of Man the status of God, being distinct from the Ancient of Days.
God even foretold the destruction of Tyre (which used to be a trade hub for the whole world) in really really strong detail.
I could give more examples, but suffice to say. I’ve looked at a lot of the criticism the bible gets, and it still stands. So with all this being said, even though I am 100% sure He is real, good and Lord of all (cos I know Him), to an outsider there is compelling evidence that the Messiah of the Jews and Saviour of the world is Jesus Christ.
Good sources: Mike Winger (YouTube) Testify (YouTube - he recommends books) InspiringPhilosophy (personally I disagree with some of his videos but good on this subject) https://www.equip.org/articles/the-jewish-talmud-and-its-use-for-christian-apologetics/

Long post ahead.
I was born in a happy family. Nagsisimba kada linggo, naibibigay needs ko, sabay sabay kumain, nagtatawanan, at nagkwekwentuhan. Typical na ginagawa ng 'happy family'. That was what I thought as a kid. Hindi kami mayaman, hindi rin mahirap. We were happy. Ako yung bunso at may ate ako. Si daddy may work and umuuwi monthly . Si mommy , may work din pero dito lang saamin.Nung bata pa ako, there was this cellphone na keypad na ginagamit ng mama ko. (Hindi pa uso yung touch screens noon). Alam ko nang magbasa. I was really young. Probably 7 or 8 years old. May ginagawa si mommy and someone sent a message, 'Kamusta ka na Mahal". I'm sure it wasn't my dad. The name na nakalagay is 'Mario'.( Hindi niya totoong pangalan, i changed it). Hanggang ngayon hindi ko parin makalimutan yung message na 'yon. That Mario guy is our kapitbahay dati. Hindi namin kaano ano. After i saw the message, pinakita ko kay mommy and sinabi niya na wag na wag ko na raw titignan yung mga message sa cellphone niya. Yung Mario moved out a few years ago, idk kung saan pumunta pero may asawa rin siya.
Fast forward to pandemic. Nandito lang ako sa bahay (modular). Sa province kami nakatira kaya i think as long as you wear mask pwede lumabas kasi hindi gaano kahigpit dito. Nagpaalam mommy ko na pupunta sa birthday party. May hinala na ako na may cheating ulit na nagaganap. Pumunta muna siya sa mga kasama niya para sunduin sila, katabing bahay lang namin. Someone sent a message sa cellphone niya. Takot na takot ako after what happened nung bata pa ako pero tinignan ko parin. Walang pangalan. Just contact number. "Nasaan ka na mahal" was the message. Kinurot ko sarili ko sa pisngi, kasi hindi ako makapaniwala na ganon pala talaga yung nanay ko. Na niloloko niya lang kami. Pumunta siya sa birthday party na yun. Tinanong ko kung kaninong birthday and sabi niya lang pamangkin ni ganto. Mag isa ko lang sa bahay. Nasa manila si daddy at si ate nag aaral sa baguio. 12 am, hindi pa siya umuuwi, tinawagan ko si ate sa messenger para tawagan si mommy sa number niya kasi wala akong load. Hindi siya sumasagot. After waiting, umuwi siya, lasing. Nauna nang umuwi mga kasama niya. Tinanong ko nang paulit ulit kung anong ginawa niya pero hindi siya sumasagot. Tinanong din ng ate ko on call pero wala talaga. Natulog lang siya. I knew it. After that, hindi ko na brining up yung gabing yun. Until now, madaling araw or kahit anong oras kapag wala si daddy, may kausap siya on phone. Umiiba yung tono ng boses niya. Sabi ko sa sarili ko "eto nanaman tayo". Pero sa totoo lang, i can't bear na ganon. Ayoko gumuho yung pamilya namin. I think ako lang yung nakakaalam na ganun yung ginagawa niya. I checked her phone again and deleted na lahat. I think dinedelete niya after niya makita yung message. I once called a suicide hotline habang mag isa lang ako. Gusto ko sabihin lahat. I cried and cried and they listened. Hindi ko na maalala yung pangalan ng kausap ko pero kay ate/kuya i'm so grateful. Wala akong kaibigan na makakausap sa problems ko. Gusto ko mag vent. Sa suicide hotline na yun, i was anonymous, pati rito sa reddit. Until now, tinitiis ko parin yung nanay ko kasi takot ako.
As much as i hate my mom, i hate my dad too. Hindi siya cheater katulad ng nanay ko pero nagbago siya. Hindi na siya yung daddy na kilala ko nung bata pa ako. Nung masaya pa kami. Ang selfish niya. Hindi ko alam kung alam niya bang yun yung ginagawa ni mommy. He never attended any moving up or graduation ceremony sa aming dalawa ng ate ko. I always try my best academically and i was always the TOP 1. With honors, with high honors, and with highest honors. Kahit cum laude ate ko he didn't attend her graduation. They never said "i'm proud of you" pero laging tinatanong saakin ng mommy ko sa card day "sinong highest sainyo" "ba't ka bumaba dito, galingan mo pa". Ang sakit.
Dahil nga nasa province kami, marami kaming alaga, pato,manok, aso, pusa. I love my cats kasi sila yung nagdidistract saakin sa mga problems ko. My dad hates my cats. Hindi to the point na sinasaktan niya physically pero lagi niya sinasabi saakin na perwisyo lang sila tapos wala silang magandang naidudulot saamin. Syempre pinaglalaban namin ng ate ko. I hate my dad for that. Ako gumagawa ng chores dito sa bahay. Araw araw. Lagi. My sister is always away from us and minsan lang umuwi kaya madalas ako lang mag isa. Gigising, magpapakain ng mga alaga, maglilinis, magluluto.Sa hapon ganon ulit kailangan ko ulit pakainin yung mga alaga , magluluto, maghuhugas ng pinggan. Mas dadami pa yung kalat kapag umuwi si papa kasi super makalat niya. After ng chores ko nanonood ako ng movies, kdramas and nag cecellphone kung waka akong school works. Parang yun na yung pahinga ko pero sinasabihan parin nila ako na sobrang tamad ko raw na lagi lang akong nakahilata at walang ginagawa. Matutulog ako sasabihan nila ako na lagi akong natutulog tapos wala akong ginagawa. Alam ko naman responsibilities ko eh, di ko naman pinapabayaan. Hindi nalang ako sumasagot pero hindi ko na kaya.Walang araw na hindi ako pinapagalitan ng mga magulang ko. Lalo na si mommy. Hindi naman ganto dati eh. Kelan nagbago lahat. Ang bigat bigat. Parang hindi ko na kaya. Sana hindi ko nalang nakita yung mga message, sana hindi nagbago yung tatay ko. Buo kami pero hindi kami masaya.
So ABYG for hating my parents?

I’m dating this guy from 10 months ago and he has been showing multiple red flags. We’re from different cultures, I’m European and he’s South Asian. It’s important to mention that I’m not generalising South Asian men with this post, I know not everyone from this ethnicity thinks or acts this way. These are the values and morals followed by my boyfriend and his family specifically which are very different from my Western values.
I’ve been trying to act more submissive and obedient according to his wishes and his culture but I think he doesn’t make the effort to adapt to my culture and treats me in a bad way. I compromised to stop doing my nails, convert to his religion, raise our future kids in his religion, dressing modestly, unfollowing every man of my social media, cutting contact with my male cousin and stop eating pork. He keeps being the same person with the same habits, the only thing I asked is to not cover my head to go out due to fear of getting hurt by islamophobic people or discrimination, also it’s not easy to find a job wearing that in my country, which he reacted very negatively and said he’s able to force me and our future daughters to wear it and he reacted badly to the fact I want to give my family’s name to my children, he asked sarcastically if I want our children to be Christians because my surname is of European origin and they should have Islamic names, although I told him their first and last names would be according to his culture. He said in his country people only have 2 names, neither of them is the mom’s name but the father’s.
He seems to fully dislike my culture while I should follow his culture, which is his mind is superior and morally more correct. He compares me to his ex girlfriend and his mom saying indirectly that they’re better women than me. It hurts me because I’m doing a lot of effort but he sets unrealistic expectations towards me, I’m European and he should accept it. I can’t act 100% like a woman from his country because I have my own culture. For every small thing he says he’s disappointed with me, for example, for picking a movie to watch with my female friend but telling him to choose the movie instead of me (which is not even true, it was my friend who chose it) or to talk a lot to my female friends on whatsapp. He’s always making sanctions on me such as “Why did you watch this show with her? “Why you didn’t tell me you painted your nails?” “You must tell me when you’re leaving the house in advance, even if it’s to go to the supermarket” “You shouldn’t say “I love you” to your girl friends like a lesbian!”
I feel like I’m in prison. Besides of that, he forces me to give all my passwords, he goes through my phone to read my messages and saved my parents phone numbers without mine or their consent. He says bad things about my parents because they’re divorced. He uses my weaknesses and my past relationship against me. He gets angry at me too easily, for example for not hearing what he says properly while on videocall, he criticises my English accent, mocks my choices if I don’t do what he demands (like trading) and bullies me. He calls me mindless and brainless. Last night, I lost my patience and I got angry, for the first time I said some abusive words and said I was fed up. He started threatening to call my parents and distorting everything, saying he never said it. I can’t feel in peace and safe with this man, I’m always in fear that he will start complaining for any small thing and start a fight.

The second half of a long chapter.
“Oh, professor page,” I heard Anna yell from the living room, “You better get your ass out here quick.”
I quickly rinsed off my hands scurried into the living room, greeted by the two couples sprawled out on the sectional couch in their swimwear, Anna and Kelly in string bikinis and Archer and Paul in speedos. My cock was never limp that day, but there were moments – typically, those of the most intense humiliation – when it was harder than others. Seeing the four fit young bodies in all (or at least, most of) their glory was one of them. And while my gaze naturally was first drawn to Anna’s toned, long legs and taut midriff, followed by Kelly shorter, but still attractive legs and pretty toes, I would be lying if I didn’t admit to admiration of the slender, muscular swimmer bodies of the two young men as well.
My eyes also drifted over Paul’s bare feet. It was the first time I had seen bare the feet I had kissed in the bar through his sneakers or in the apartment through his thick wool socks. I was curious, naturally, but didn’t want to be too obvious, so quickly averted my glance before getting a good look. I need not have worried, however, as I would be spending a great deal of time up close and personal with his bare feet (and Anna’s) in the months that followed, starting a few minutes later. Paul did not have the same obsession with having his feet worshipped as Luke did, but there is no question that he greatly enjoyed the power trip of having an older authority figure quite literally at his feet.
I must also confess that in addition to dwelling as long as I dared on the breasts of Anna (like Brooke’s, ample but not overly large) and Kelly (slightly larger and, to my mind, less proportional to her shorter frame), my eyes also flittered over the speedo-clad crotches of Paul and Archer. Speedos leave so little to the imagination. While I was mortified when forced to wear a speedo, my inadequacy on full display, these two young athletes were completely at ease. Their muscular, chiseled bodies were one explanation for that; the size of their bulges was another.
“Perhaps the professor page can stop ogling our bodies long enough to get us all another round of drinks,” said Anna.
Kelly said, “I think he’s staring more at the boys’ bodies than he is at ours, Anna. I’m jealous.”
“Most cucks are closet fags, so that’s no surprise,” said Paul.
I wanted to object that I wasn’t gay, closet or otherwise. I wanted to say, “What about you, someone who enjoys humiliating other males, forcing them to dress in feminine clothing, spanking their bare bottoms with your bare hands, perhaps other, more intimate things….What does all of that make you?” But I dared not I was say anything of the kind. Instead I simply confirmed their drink orders and hurried off to make them, checking on my stroganoff. And being honest with myself, while I knew beyond a doubt that I was not homosexual, I did have to admit that I was not immune to the physical attractions of dominant, young alpha males. Did I have this attraction prior to the events of the last seven months when Luke came onto the scene like a cyclone? Probably on some level, yes, but it had been latent. No longer.
When I returned to the living room with a serving tray holding their four cocktails, trying hard not to spill any of them, Paul said, “We know our page boy knows how to clean shoes, but what about other personal duties? Who besides me would like a foot massage?”
“That sounds like an excellent idea, dude. Count me in,” said Archer.
“You two boys go ahead. If he does a good job, Kelly and I may have him massage our feet as well,” said Anna.
“Start with Archer. On your knees, of course, page,” said Paul.
“Yes sir,” I said, kneeling before Archer, and beginning to work on his feet with warmup twists and arch rubs. His feet were somewhat calloused, but well formed.
“Ah, that feels good. He’s actually not too bad at this,” Archer said.
Pointing at my crotch, Kelly said, “Look, his little cock is stiff again. Are you excited to massage my boyfriend’s feet, professor?” As she spoke, she pressed her toes lightly against my cock through my tights. It surprised me that it was Kelly, rather than Anna (or even Paul), to first touch my liberated cock.
“No, Princess Kelly.”
“No? But your little stiffie says otherwise. Are you not being honest with us, professor?” She pressed a little harder with her foot, smiling wickedly.
In truth, the entire situation was incredibly arousing and, therefore, incredibly humiliating. Which made it still more arousing. It was a viscous cycle, one which I had been getting increasingly used to with Luke and Brooke. But the dynamics with my students and Archer were different, and, if anything, more intense. Was it the greater age disparity, the bigger inversion of authority, the fact that there was an element of coercion involved? All of the above? Brooke would tell me that I think about these things too much. She would counsel me to go with flow, enjoy the game, embrace the sheer eroticism of it all. I tried valiantly to do just that. Can one be valiant in accepting servitude and abuse?, I wondered (see how I over analyze everything?!)
Lancelot would no doubt have answered my question in the affirmative. Yet, his servitude was solely to Guinevere, and the abuse and humiliations he suffered were solely to satisfy her commands, her whims. Whereas Brooke was not even aware of my servitude to my students. Still, I could tell myself – with some degree of honesty – that the indignities I was suffering at their hands were because of my devotion to Brooke. Because I was in their power as a direct consequence of my obedience to Luke, and I was obedient to Luke for Brooke and Brooke alone. The frail heartbeat of chivalry was still detectable (to me, at least). Perhaps the time had come to tell Brooke of my predicament with Paul and Anna? But there was something so shameful about it. Would it diminish me in Brooke’s eyes in some different, profound and irrevocable way? Or would she hug me, perhaps even thank me for my sacrifice, and tell me everything will be okay?
These were the myriad thoughts that ran through my head as I also contemplated my response to Kelly’s fraught question. “No, princess, I mean, it’s all of your feet…,” I answered,lamely.
She snickered. “Well, you are the Liitle Foot Page, so I guess it makes sense that you’re turned on by feet.”
“Pretty much all submissive guys are turned on by feet. Issac is insane for my feet,” said Anna. You will recall that Issac was the young male slave in Paul’s and Anna’s stable.
“Not just submissive men. Cindy loves worshiping your feet too, babe,” Paul said to Anna. If you recall, Cindy (who, like Issac, I had not yet met at that point) was another member of Paul’s and Anna’s stable of slaves, a fellow student at the college whose intense crush on Paul was not reciprocated. Instead, he put her squarely into “ the friendzone,” eventually introducing her to Anna. Cindy was now a submissive servant to both of them, grateful to be part of Paul’s life under any circumstances.
Anna said to Kelly, “I don’t know about you, but I love having my feet pampered and having my toes sucked, and love the sight of submissive creatures groveling at my feet. At the same time, I couldn’t imagine in a million fucking years being the one doing the sucking or groveling. I have no desire to be that close to anyone’s feet.”
“I know exactly what you mean. I wouldn’t even want to kiss Archer if he sucked my toes. Ew, gross,” said Kelly, with a little shudder.
Archer interjected, “Yo’ve got nothing to worry about there, darling. You have pretty feet, but I have zero desire to kiss or lick them.”
“Or course you don’t, you’re not a perv, like the good professor here. Professor pervert, kiss the bottom of the foot you’re massaging. You don’t mind having your feet kissed, do you sweetheart?” Kelly asked Archer.
“No, I have no problem being worshipped. And I’m secure enough in my masculinity that I don’t care if it’s a submissive cuck like this loser doing the worshiping.”
“That’s what I love about you, sweetheart. You’re masculine, dominant AND open minded. That’s like icing on a yummy cake.,” Kelly said, as she started to kiss Archer passionately. “Professor, keep kissing the bottoms of my man’s feet while we make out.”
I kissed the balls of Archer’s feet, trying to avoid the callouses. I wondered: aren’t swimmers more prone to plantar warts, walking around all those bacteria-riddled pools and locker rooms in their bare feet? I knew plantar warts are highly contagious. Could I get warts on my lips or in my mouth? I made a mental note to research this on-line later. From extensive experience with Brooke and Luke, I was well aware of the aphrodisiac effect my submission could have on a couple dominating me. The exact reasons for this still remain something of a mystery to me. Just like you have to be a masochist to understand certain things, I guess you have to be a dominant or a sadist to understand others.
As if reading my thoughts, Anna said, “I think submissives’ brains must be wired differently. They have to be for them to enjoy feet so much. I mean, sometimes after we work out at the gym, Paul and I will rest our feet right on Cindy’s face. Can you imagine? Our sweaty, wet socks covering her nose and mouth. You’d think she’d have some self-respect and tell us to go to hell. Or, at a minimum, that she’d complain about the smell. Not that my feet smell, of course, but Paul’s smell something awful after he’s been working out,” she smiled at him.
“Yeah, right, babe,” Paul replied. He then explained to Kelly and Archer, “Don’t believe anything she says about her feet not smelling. The smell of her foot sweat is overpowering.”
“Bullshit,” Anna said, smiling and hitting him on the shoulder. “But, like I was saying, far from protesting, Cindy actually inhales the smell of our sweat socks and our sweaty feet. She almost looks as if she’s in ecstasy, like she’s smelling perfume or fresh flowers or something. And she even looks happy when she’s licking the toe jam and lint from between my toes. It’s disgusting. But it’s pretty funny watching her. And I like the sensation of her tongue on my toes.”
“It’s what I’ve been telling you for awhile now, babe. Submissives are intellectually inferior. They’re sexual deviants. By humiliating and abusing them, we’re giving them what they want, what they need, in fact. So there’s no reason for us to feel bad when we mistreat them. We’re actually doing them a favor,” said Paul.
Paul was a Psychology major and fancied himself some sort of authority on this subject apparently, although it was clear to me that he was greatly oversimplifying what were, in reality, very complicated human relationship dynamics. He also had a facile understanding of human intelligence. Under different circumstances, I might have tried to engage him in a debate. But to have done so at that moment would have been the height of folly, so I kept my mouth shut and my fingers busy.
After spending 15 minutes on Archer’s feet, I massaged the feet of my three students for the same amount of time (timed by Paul). Paul and Anna kissed each other while I worked on Anna’s feet, much as Archer and Kelly had done. Each insisted I respectfully kiss the bottoms of their feet after finishing the massage. Paul was last. While I massaged his feet, Anna prodded my balls with her high heel shoe, laughing as my cock twitched through my tights. Having been denied release for so long, my biggest fear was that all of the stimuli – the scantily-clad, young bodies, the humiliating dissection of my fetishes, the pressure of Anna’s foot (which she occasionally brushed against my the underside of my shaft) – would cause me to ejaculate. The thought of that was beyond mortifying, so I did everything I could possibly do to distract myself mentally.
Their ongoing conversation about feet did not make my task an easy one.
“Rollins, you’re actually pretty good at this. In a sensible world, you would be spending your time in your classes massaging all of your students’ feet rather than lecturing to them. It’s a better use of your talents.” There did seem to be a general consensus that I have a knack (was Paul’s term, “talent,” too strong a word) for giving foot massages. I guess there’s at least one thing I can do well with my hands after all, I thought to myself.
“Now, Paul. Don’t be cruel. I’ve had some pretty good courses with Professor Foot Page. I don’t see any reason why he couldn’t lecture while he massages everyone’s feet.” Kelly giggled.
Anna snickered. “Can you picture it? I can. He would be dressed just as he is now, crawling from student to student.”
“Yes, and then he could massage the feet of all of the other faculty members of the English department,” said Kelly, giggling.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t already massaging Neil Lawson’s feet. Lawson already has him fetching his coffee. Or he did today, at least. There’s definitely something going on there,” said Paul.
I couldn’t decide whether to be relieved Paul didn’t know any specifics or to be distressed that he was so suspicious – and that his instincts were correct. I remained silent.
Paul continued, “He obviously has a big foot fetish, like most submissives. Rollins, you ought to consider having a whole chapter dedicated to foot worship in that book you’re working on. You’ll be a real authority on the subject before we’re finished with you.”
Putting aside the implicit threat in his last remark, Paul actually might be on to something, I thought. I had been struggling with the organization of my book, which had really evolved quite a bit over the last six months. While I still aimed to show how medieval courtly poetry was what started the rich history of male masochism in western literature, I was increasingly focusing on contemporary BDSM cuckold fiction and what had clearly been an explosion in interest in that lifestyle in recent years, globally.
Miraculously, I was able to get through the massages and constant teasing without ejaculating. About halfway into my 5-hour stay at the condo, I served the four of them dinner, trying to remember to curtsy at all the required moments. They had changed back into the clothes they were wearing before their swim, Anna and Kelly in short skirts, stockings and heels and Paul and Archer in jeans and polo shirts. Anna kept her little notepad next to her plate on the table, and occasionally wrote in it, causing me further anxiety. When not going back and forth between the kitchen and dining room, I was expected to stand by the table at attention – to refill glasses of the wine I had purchased, fold the napkins of anyone who got up from the table, or do anything else ordered of me. My cock tented out my tights the entire time, of course. My self consciousness about this at least had the advantage of taking my mind off my hunger somewhat, as I enviously watched the four of them eat the meal I had prepared (I sampled the stroganoff as I was cooking it, and thought it came out quite well).
Anna invited everyone to critique the meal afterwards, and it was generally agreed upon that the beef and mushroom sauce was delicious, but that the pasta was overcooked. The salad and dressing was a success, but the Italian green beans less so. I was grateful that Anna had not required me to also prepare dessert.
“Well, Professor maid, it seems that both punishments and a reward are in order for your uneven meal and service. You also earned demerits for failure to curtsy on at least four occasions – I’m sure that I missed others – and continued deficiencies in your technique. Also for how you walked in heels earlier. The mushy pasta and beans were also unacceptable. On the other hand, the stroganoff itself was excellent, as was the salad and dressing. The boys will administer your punishment, and Kelly and I will grant you your reward.”
I replied, with a curtsy, “Yes, princess. Thank you, princess.” The truth of the matter is I didn’t know which of the two caused me greater dread: the punishment or the reward.
“Which should we give him first?”, asked Kelly.
Paul said, “Definitely the punishment first. We need to leave enough time for the redness of his ass to fade in case Luke or his wife want to punish him as well when he gets home.”
“And a submissive freak like him will probably enjoy his reward more with a sore ass. I’ve calculated that he’s owed 120 spanks. 100 from today, and the 20 we didn’t give him on Tuesday that he was due. Which one oy you strapping young men will do the honors?”, said Anna.
“This is going to be so much fun to watch,” said Kelly gleefully.
“It’s going to be hot,” said Anna. “I get all tingly watching Paul punish the slaves. Especially the beta males and sissies.”
“I know you do, girlfriend. Me too,” said Kelly. “I think it’s only fair that each of the boys give him sixty spanks, so you and I get to enjoy this equally,” said Kelly.
“Sounds good. Okay with you guys?,” said Anna.
“Fine. After you,” Paul said to Archer.
“Happy to dish out some discipline to the old cuck. Should we take him up to the dungeon and put him over the bench?”, asked Archer.
“No need to. We have to use our hands for now because we can’t leave any asting marks on his ass. So just take him over your knee,” Paul replied.
“Oh, how I wish we could cane or strap him! I think the cane is a lot more persuasive than just your hands. And the welts can be lovely,” said Anna.
“Someday, babe. You just have to be patient,” said Paul. “Not one of your strong suits, I realize.”
“Don’t worry, ladies. I will make sure his spanking is plenty persuasive. Get over my knees, old man,” commanded Archer.
“Yes, sir.” I draped myself over his knees, incredibly ashamed as I felt my hard cock press through my tights against the jeans covering his firm thighs.
“Do you feel his little stiffie on your leg, honey?,” Kelly asked, tittering.
“I do, but not for long. I’m going to beat it out of him. By the time I’m finished with him, he’ll be as limp as one of the overcooked noodles he served us,” said Archer. I felt his sizable hand resting on the center of my tights-clad bottom. Without warning, he lifted his hand and brought it down sharply on my right cheek.
I typically tried to be stoic in such moments, but the ferocity of his strike (and the suddenness of it) caused me to cry out, “Ouch!” I heard the amusement of our audience.
“That’s right, honey. Give it to him good! Pull down his tights and give it to him on the bare,” said Kelly.
Archer did as Kelly requested. What followed were repeated, loud smacking sounds of flesh striking flesh – as Archer carefully alternated cheeks – accompanied by a slow but steady buildup of pain. The tights had offered negligible protection. The sound was the big difference, but it seemed to provide a more satisfying sensory experience for my three students, who were witnessing the remarkable spectacle of their professor being punished like a naughty child. By the 30th spank or so, the pain was intense. And Archer was correct, my cock had deflated under his relentless assault on my bottom. Not as severe as a cane or strapping certainly, but a hand spanking that rivaled Luke’s in intensity.
I heard Kelly say, “Now that’s what I’m talking about. Look at that shade of red, will you?”
“Not as lovely as welts, but not bad,” added Anna.
By the 50th spank, my attempt at stoicism was a distant memory.
“Please, sir. Please don’t hit me so hard.” He ignored me, delivering the final ten with extra zeal, if anything. When he was finished, it was difficult for my mind to process the fact that my chastisement was only halfway complete.
After Archer pushed me unceremoniously onto the hardwood floor, my tights still lowered to just below my poor, tenderized bottom, Kelly ordered me to stand up. I started to pull up my tights as I stood, but she said with surprising sternness, “Did I say you could pull up your tights, professor? Leave them down so we can all get a proper look at your little cock. Turn around and stand before us. Put your hands on top of your head.”
When I complied with her order, my cock was still quite limp, somewhat shriveled even. But almost as soon as I stood up, I felt it began to stir under their scrutiny.
“Look at the tiny, hairless thing.,” said Anna, smiling contemptuously.
“Pathetic,” said Archer, with a sneer.
“Oh, look. It’s starting to get bigger. That was quick! It must like all of the attention,” laughed Kelly.
With each humiliating comment, it grew harder. My ass was burning, but no longer under a constant barrage (for the moment, at least), the sensation only fueled my involuntary, indeed most unwanted, arousal.
“It looks like it’s up to me beat his hard-on back out of him,” said Paul, patting his knee. “Come over here, Rollins, so I can finish your correction. Leave your tights down. You have 60 more coming.”
As this was unthinkable to me, I felt compelled to try to negotiate – or, perhaps it would be more accurate to say, grovel. When I walked over to where Paul was sitting, rather than lie over his knees, I dropped to my own, at his feet.
“My lord, Sir Archer’s punishment was quite severe. I’m not sure that I can take another 60 right now. I beg you to show some mercy to your lowly page by deferring some of my punishment until next Tuesday.” I then grasped his right foot with my hands and began kissing the tops of his brown, leather shoe. “Please, my lord.”
That Paul was triumphant, bringing me to my knees and abasing myself at his feet – even without being expressly commanded to do so – was clearly evident in his supremely smug, self-satisfied expression. It was painful to behold, but not as painful as another 60 spanks on my already wounded bottom would be. Groveling was a skill that I been refining over the last several months with Luke, so I continued my efforts.
“Please, my lord. Surely you and Princess Anna have some more dry cleaning that needs to be done or some other errands that need to be run. Your humble page is at your disposal.”
“This is a trip,” said Kelly.
“It IS a sign of strength for a ruler to occasionally grant mercy. What do you think, babe?”, said Anna.
“I’m considering it,” said Paul. “Sharing information might help your cause, page. Tell me, what is the story with you bringing Neil Lawson a cup of coffee today? That coffee shop is on the other side of campus. Is that a service that you regularly provide for him? Before you answer, you should know that if I sense you’re not being completely truthful, I’ll add 20 spanks to your punishment now, rather than reduce or defer any of it. If I find out you’re lying after the fact, the consequences for you will be dire.”
To say that I felt somewhat trapped at that moment would be an understatement. I certainly didn’t want to reveal any information to Paul about the nature of my relationship with my colleague, and yet I felt that not doing so was perilous. The slippery slope, again.
So, I continued my descent. “I bring Neil a cup of coffee four days a week, my lord.”
“Why? Are you his lackey or something? You’re senior to him on the faculty, right? Shouldn’t he be the one bringing you coffee, if anything?”
“It’s true that Neil doesn’t have tenure yet but he’s up for tenure in the spring. But it’s not like junior faculty members run errands or anything like that for senior faculty members. It’s just that Neil knows that I’m on a diet and feels that the exercise will do me good. He takes a personal interest in my health and physical fitness, as my friend.”
“Sounds like bullshit to me. I’ve seen Neil lifting weights with Luke at the gym a couple of times. It looks like they’re getting to be pretty chummy.”
“Yes, my lord, they like to work out together. They bond over sports.”
“Interesting. Is Neil aware of your weekly weigh-ins and punishments for failing to lose weight?”, Paul continued his interrogation.
“Yes, my lord,” I answered, deeply ashamed.
“Well, you’ve definitely lost quite a bit of weight, professor. Keep up the good work!”, said Kelly, with seeming sincerity. What a surreal moment this was, I thought to myself.
“Thank you, Princess Kelly.”
“Does Luke allow Neil to witness your weigh-ins and punishments,” Paul asked.
“Yes, my lord. Twice.”
“Keep kissing my shoes when you’re not speaking. Does Luke allow Neil to participate in your punishments?”
“Yes, my lord. Once.” I started kissing the bottom of his right shoe.
Being humiliated and punished by Luke was shameful. Neil’s participation in my punishment and humiliation made it infinitely more so. Being humiliated and punished by my students was incredibly shameful. Them knowing that Neil, another professor in my department, not only was aware of, but even took an active part in my punishment and humiliation was indescribably shameful. It was more than a slippery slope. It was quicksand. And I was sinking deeper by the second.
Paul was not yet done with his interrogation, however. “What other services do you provide for Professor Lawson, besides bringing him coffee?”
I hesitated. But mindful of Paul’s warning (he did seem to have some mysterious ability to intuit and/or discover things about me), I came clean, thereby deepening the pit in which I was sinking: “On Wednesdays, when he has several back-to-back classes, I have started to massage his feet in his office.”
“I knew it! Last week when I walked into his office and you were there, you were acting very nervous. I saw his shoes on the floor next to his desk. There’s not really many reasons to take off your shoes and socks on a freezing day. I had a sneaky suspicion that that’s what was going on. You’re an even bigger beta than I could’ve conceived of, Rollins. Is there anyone you’re not subservient to?”
“Yes, my lord….I mean, prior to 10 months ago…I wasn’t submissive to anyone….except in…my…my, imagination. Everything’s different now…”
“You’re leading a male masochist’s dream! Lick the bottom of my shoe. Do you realize how extraordinarily fortunate you are, old man?”
“Yes, my lord,” I said before reapplying my tongue to the sole of Paul’s shoe.
“This discussion has been very useful. You’ve given me all kinds of ideas about how to further enhance your submissive experience to make it truly exceptional. To make it world class. All the building blocks are already in place. We just need to find a way to integrate them,” Paul said.
“Look how hard his baby cock is! He loves the idea!”, said Anna.
“Now lie down across my lap. The new information I learned just now has caused me to feel magnanimous, so I will grant you mercy by deferring 20 of your spanks until Tuesday and pardoning 10 altogether,” Paul said.
At that exact moment, having my remaining punishment cut in half (at least for that day), I was more grateful about the present reprieve than concerned about any possible future danger that might result from Paul’s increased knowledge. It was only later, during many restless, sleep-deprived nights, that I began to really worry about the possible implications of Paul knowing that I was also submissive to my fellow professor.
“You are very kind, my lord,” I said as his hand came crashing down on the center of my ass. The irony of the moment produced hearty laughter from both Anna and Kelly.
My tights were still lowered, so my erect, bare cock pressed against the denim – a coarser variety than Archer’s – of Paul’s jeans. How much shame could one person endure in a single evening? But it was only 8:30 PM; I still had over an hour left with my young tormentors.
Whereas Archer’s technique was to alternate cheeks, Paul preferred picking one spot and sticking to it for repeated spanks. He focused on the center of my bottom, initially 10 strikes where the crack of my ass began and then moving methodically lower until the final 20 were on the area closest to my scrotum. Unfortunately, Paul hit harder today than on my last visit, no doubt making sure he at least matched the force of Archer in front of the two young women, who were watching with rapt attention. As he delivered the final twenty or so spanks, the pain was searing and I began kicking my legs more and more and squirming around on his lap in a futile attempt to alleviate it, or to escape. On the bright side, my erection quickly subsided under the intensity of his assault.
“Stay still, or I will add the 30 back,” he warned, sternly, grabbing my right arm and holding it tightly behind my back with his free hand.
When he was finally done, he roughly pulled up my tights, producing a wedgie effect, and almost playfully swatted my bottom twice, saying, “You may get up now. Go stand in the corner. Hands behind your head.”
I did as commanded, but Kelly objected, “Why did you pull his tights back up? I want to see what shade of red his ass is now.”
“Lower your tights, page boy,” ordered Anna.
“Yes, princess,” I said, following her command. My eyes were wet with tears, but I was hoping they wouldn’t notice. I wanted to at least deprive them of the satisfaction that they caused me to cry.
“Do I hear sniffling, professor? Did getting spanked by his big, mean student make the poor, wimpy professor cry?”
“No, Princess Kelly.”
“I’m not sure I believe you,” Kelly replied.
“Look at his ass. The color reminds me of raw hamburger meat. Are you sure it will heel quickly enough, babe?”, asked Anna.
“Archer and I hit him hard, but not hard enough for any permanent bruises. The color will fade quickly,” said Paul. “Sort of like a sunset. An intense color that fades quickly.”
“Too bad. It’s such a lovely color, “ said Kelly.
After 10 minutes, during which they passed around a joint and continued to tease me, Anna said, “You’re right, the color is starting to fade already. Turn around, you naughty page boy, and face us. Keep your hands on your head.”
“Well, the color of ass may be like setting like the sun, but his little cock is compensating for it,” said Kelly, with a giggle.
“Pathetic,” commented the eloquent Archer.
I looked down to see my cock standing at attention through my tights, wishing I could simply disappear. I stood there shamefully for another twenty minutes as they finished a second joint.
After they finished, Anna said, “We’re running out of time before the good professor turns into a pumpkin. It’s time for your reward, professor. Obeisance!”
Recalling last week, I quickly dropped to the floor down on my belly and clasped my hands behind my back.
“Very good. You remembered,” Anna said. “Now slither on your belly to our feet, as we taught you.”
I began my humiliating belly crawl across the floor – only a few feet, but it felt like many more – my hard cock grinding into the hardwood, once again fearful that the combination of the potent humiliation and the stimulus to my cock would result in me ejaculating en route. Fortunately, it did not. Once I reached them, I craned my neck up to look at the four pairs of shoes hovering above me, and planted a kiss on the top of each, as I had been instructed during my last visit.
Anna then said, “Kelly, switch places with Paul, please.”
Once she did, Anna ordered me to lie on my back next to where she and Kelly were seated on the sofa. Rolling over, I winced with pain as my bottom touched the floor. From experience, I knew that sitting would be uncomfortable for the next day or two.
She then said to Kelly, “Do you want to provide the olfactory stimulation or the tactile stimulation?”
As if this was a routine occurrence in their lives, Kelly said, “Oh, definitely the tactile stimulation. It will be fun to toy with his little dicklet. Besides, based on what Paul said about your foot sweat, you’re the one who can provide the best olfactory stimulation.” Kelly chuckled.
“Very funny,” said Anna, smiling. “Very well.”
Anna removed her heels and placed her moist stocking-clad feet directly over my nose and mouth. Kelly kept her heels on and began pressing the toe of her right heel firmly into my balls, through my tights. She then began lightly kicking my balls. It was mildly painful, but not so painful that it caused my hard cock to deflate; it was painful yet still highly arousing, a well calibrated approach that suggested to me that Kelly had some experience tormenting others along similar lines.
“Take deep breaths, professor,” Anna ordered.
Her feet indeed had a strong, distinct odor, at once malodorous and fragrant, sour yet sweet. As I inhaled, Kelly began grinding her heel directly into the underside of my cock, pressing it into my body. Only about three minutes into this sensuous torture, my cock erupted, my semen seeping copiously through my white tights. I groaned involuntarily as I orgasmed, a groan of simultaneous ecstasy and despair. Because I hadn’t come in so long, I produced what was for me at least, a prodigious amount. What appalling, exquisite humiliation! I tried to imagine what it would be like facing my three students in class next week, or for that matter, any time again for the rest of my life. It was certainly a moment that would never be forgotten by anyone in that room.
“It looks like our professor enjoyed his reward,” Kelly said, snickering. “And I could tell when he was about to shoot his wad, so I moved my foot away just in the nick of time.” She picked up her heel and pointed at it, “See no icky professor goo. It’s clean.”
Anna said to me, “You see, being enslaved to us is not all about punishment. There are rewards as well, occasionally.”
“Yes, thank you Princess Anna, Princess Kelly.”
Well, at least I wouldn’t have to lick up my ejaculate this time. Paul threw me a towel. I was permitted to clean myself up and was then ordered to put the towel into the washing machine (by itself, as Anna didn’t want the towel I soiled to be near any of their clothes or linen). I then cleared up the kitchen. Finally, I was allowed to change back into my street clothes. Before I left the apartment, I was required one last time to bow down before each of them, kiss their feet and thank them for allowing me to be of service. I then went down the elevator, relieved to see a different doorman (one who I had never encountered before), who more or less ignored me as I exited the building.
I pulled up to my house at 10:20 P.M., surprised to see the light on in the kitchen. When Brooke and Luke went out to dinner on Thursdays, Luke usually drove, so it was not unusual to see Brooke’s car in the driveway. Maybe they had just forgotten to turn off the lights?
But as I entered the kitchen, I was alarmed to see Brooke sitting alone at the table. Expecting to be asked where I had been, I started trying to think of plausible explanations.
However, Brooke simply looked up at me. She had a glum expression on her face and her eyes were bloodshot, as if she had been crying. Something was definitely up.
“Hi, honey,” I said, nervously.
“Hi.”
“Where’s Luke?”
“He’s gone.”
“Will he back later, or is he staying at his house tonight?”
“He’ll be staying at his house every night from now on.”
“What are you talking about? What happened?”
“Go get a bottle of scotch and two glasses. I need a drink.”

Sobbing while typing this so please excuse any errors. My dog is reactive toward animals and people. He has attacked dogs to resource guard and toy guard. Never attacked people but is fearful toward new people.
He has been attacked unprovoked on walks a few different times and we believe he came from a feral family and still carries those tendencies.
He has been working with a trainer for the past 5 months and his aggression has seemed to increase. He has left my other dog with 10 stickers over a fight about a ball.
All this to say he is the absolute sweetest and most cuddly boy ever. He is very obedient and has learned so much in school. Unfortunately his fear reactivity just gets the best of him. I love him with my whole heart but I do not think my living situation can give him what he needs. He is about 95lbs, Great Pyrenees lab mix, and should be the only animal in the house.
Does anyone know places around here that helps rehome dogs that have challenging behaviors? I will not put him in a shelter or anything like that. I just want to find someone who would be willing to take him on or help me find a better situation for him.

What’s up guys, so another dude posted on here yesterday asking for advice in regards to having kids. I reached out to a few of you initially that had left a comment with your own experiences, however I didn’t get the chance to actually ask anything. So I figured I’d make my own post that’s more topic specific since at this point it looks like my fiancé and I (she’s a CIS woman) will be taking the IVF plunge in the next few months. It’s been one hell of a year, between 5 failed at home inseminations. 4 of them were donor sperm from a cryo bank, all IUI’s minus the first try I believe? Which was an ICI? The last and most recent try was with “fresh” stuff from an anonymous donor that we found from a local donor site on FB. We were almost certain that it took, as my girls period was late by 2 days which has never happened, however unfortunately that wasn’t the case. We’ve been seeing a fertility doctor the last two cycles, and were told that my fiancé is basically only working with the right side of her uterus, as the left side is blocked? The doctor said it could be a result of endometriosis/signs of early menopause because that’s a thing on my girls side of the family. BUT she can STILL get pregnant per the doctors words. So we basically have to get an ultrasound every cycle to make sure she’s ovulating on the side that’s viable. This last cycle we used the “trigger shot” and Clomid to increase her egg count which worked as she had 3 eggs total. But I guess that wasn’t enough.. So anyway, just thought I’d give a little back story of where we are at, and what our hurdles look like. She’s been pregnant twice in her life. She was a teen mom as a result of SA. And the second time, at 21 she was the victim of SA again, and had an abortion. She definitely wants this more than anything, and of course I would love to be a dad. We’ve spent about 10k at this point, and should’ve just done IVF to begin with… This has been an emotional roller coaster, definitely not for the faint of heart. Any advice would be extremely appreciated. Thank you guys in advance! And sorry if I used any triggering words.

idk how to explain this so I'm just gonna try the best I can. I will be keeping some peoples names private for there sake. around 6 months ago I got with my girlfriend (15f and at this point I was 14m and my 15th birthday wasn't that far away) me and my cousin had been added to a group chat for our art class and that's how I got in contact with her. we started just talking as friends and at one point she asked if she could braid my hair to I siad "sure why not" and we make the plan for me to go to her house after on her bus. things go pretty by fine for the time I'm at her house. we mainly sat on her bed and talked shit about other people and there relationships. anyways the next day where in class and she asked if I could go to her house again and I siad yes (I did this bc I wasn't working that day and I didn't want to sit at home and not do anything) the day eventually comes and where just hanging out and stuff went down that I won't get into details about. at somepoint I asked her if she wants to date and she said yes. this had been my first everything and i could not be more exited. that was until she told me that her mom would be taking her to Mississippi to see her family for Christmas. I was a bit sad to see her go for almost 3 weeks but we kept in contact and when she came back I couldn't be more excited.
around February to March is when she gets a text message form her friend saying that a guy named Brandon had his house raided by the cops and they found shit tons of her nudes on his phone. apparently 2 months before her 15 birthday (October 31) she had been talking to a 21 year old named Brandon and had loss her virginity to him. when she was telling me this she was breaking down crying while telling me this and didn't want to make me mad. right then and there I huged her and told her that I'm not mad and I'm going to help her through this. another thing about Brandon is that when his phone was searched they found not only her nudes but other young girls as well. idk how many there were but all ik is that there was enough to potentially give him 10-15 years. my dad knew about his house being raided before I told him bc Brandons friend works with my dad and that's how he found out. when we were talking about this she was very hesitant to tell her mom bc she didn't know what her mom would think or do. for context her mom isn't the greatest person, mainly due to her being hypocritical about almost everything and making my gf cry on multiple occasions and I've herd almost all the times she has cried. that's just a little detail about the kind of person she is. anyways when me anf my gf kept this to ourselves until we decided it was right to tell our parents. after about 2 weeks I told my dad and asked him what I need to do and what see needs to do. he told me that what she needs to do is contact the police and tell them the situation and then contact her towns local police and ask them what to do.
if all goes to plan then the state police will hand over the case to the town police and figure out what to do then (it wasn't hard for them to find out who we where talking about bc Brandon already has a case on him for stuff unrelated to this) after talking to them they told her that they would show up to her house and talk to her in person to get a better understanding of the situation. when she told her mom that there was something important that she had to tell her and she waited for the cops to show up so if she where to act out they would hopefully calm her mom down. but her mom kept asking what it was that was so important and apparently told all the people that where in her house that her daughter had something important to tell her (her mom and grandma had friends over) witch in my opinion is fucked up in every witch way and what makes it more messed up is the fact that I heard all of it. my gf crying, her mom screaming at her to stop crying bc I ft her to try and calm her down before the cops got there. anyways questioning gets done and they tell her what they are going to do to make this better for everyone and hopefully lock Brandon up. after a couple of days she had been told that she had to go to the detective and tell him the situation then had to go tell her therapist what was going on and by that time she had tried to forget about it but they kept asking and almost every time they did ask about it she cried. now she's doing ok and a little over a month ago I got a text from my dad saying that he had been arrested and was gonna sit in front of the judge and be told what he's being charged with and the next day my dad told me that he was denied bail so he would hopefully serve his time. idk how long he's gonna be locked up for but what I do know is that by the time me and my gf are in our 30s he might still be locked up.
also around this time my gf had been going to therapy regularly and around 2 weeks got her blood taken to check for any stds. thankfully it came back negative and she didn't have anything. but while she was there they prescribed her with anti depression and anxiety meds to hopefully help her with her depression and anxiety (she's had both for a while before she met Brandon) she had also asked if she could get a different type of birth control. for context her mom has forced her to get some sort of birth control and if she doesn't then we can be together. so around a month after we got together she had gotten the stick that was placed in her arm (if someone can tell me if there's an actual name for it then pls lmk) after getting the stick in her arm she has been on her period making her bleed none stop (it's way more than sould be humanly possible) she had asked if there was a birth control that she could take without have the none stop bleeding and out of control bursts of depression ans anxiety.
she was told that maybe the pill might work and she still deciding if she wants to go for that option. ever since this whole thing happened I can't stop thing about what happened that night her and Brandon did it and that countless nights she had been crying and I feel a constant guilt for nor being able to help her and idk if there's anything else I can do to help her without giving me a panic attack bc I've had lots of those in and out of school. I just want her to be happy and every time I ask her if she's ok and she says yes but idk if she's making sure that I don't worry by saying that. I hope that I've done everything correctly and if there's any suggestions for what I can do pls tell me bc I've been shaking and sweating just thinking about this and typing it out. I hope that some of you can understand where I'm coming from bc this entire thing has made stressed tf out.

Christianity isn’t based on any abstract belief system. It’s based entirely on historical events which took place. If Jesus existed, did mighty miracles, was crucified, and rose again on the third day in glory, this would mean His message is one of truth and authority. If someone came with the power to override the laws of nature you would believe what they tell you regarding how the universe works. So the question is did these events really take place or is it just some fairytale?
The first thing to do would be to examine the documents in question. The primary documents proposed comprise of the New Testament, which consist of the four gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke and John (the first 3 were written before 70 AD, John was written around 70 AD). Then there is Acts (early church history), the epistles (letters detailing instruction to early churches), and revelation (a book of prophecy).
The first 4 gospels are all written with the express purpose of being eyewitness accounts, written either by direct apostles of Christ or those who knew the apostles. All four of these are what you generally would expect with these sorts of accounts. There are slight contradictions (as expected), however they all combine together to create the same detailed message. At the same time they consistently get an impressive amount of historical and geographical details correct for the time, showing they were written early as they wouldn’t have been able to google the info. Conveniently, they get so many details right that the gospel accounts fit into history like a jigsaw puzzle piece. What this tells us is that the writers were concerned with the utmost accuracy in their recording of events. Sources outside the bible exist commenting on early Christianity, and none of them deny that Christ existed. Rather than deny He did any miracles (as the evidence was overwhelming) they instead only slandered Him (ref. the Talmud, Julian the Apostate). Rather than present His dead body, they falsely claim His disciples stole it.
If we check other historical sources such as Josephus, we can fill in omissions of information in stories reported by the gospel. Matthew’s gospel writes that Joseph was afraid to return somewhere because of Archeleus. We know from other writings outside the bible that Archeleus existed and was very bloodthirsty. This is just one example out of many.
The writers of the gospels also were thoroughly convinced that they had witnessed and interacted with the Risen Christ, as their lives show they spent the rest of their days going and preaching the gospel to the Jews and foreign nations. They would often be beat up, flogged and punished severely for this, which would make no sense at all if they were making it all up. It would have been easier for them to just remain in their ordinary lives, with their families, rather than be ousted from their home country for being “criminals”. At the very least some of them died for their confession. They cared very deeply about accuracy (as referenced before), but now we can see they were thoroughly convinced of their experience. Their writings are not that of mad people, since mad people rarely ever work together for long periods of time. Yet we see complex philosophical concepts in the New Testament which would be impossible for mentally insane people to make. This demonstrates the absurdity of claiming they stole His body.
Aside from personal miracles I’ve experienced (you can see my testimony on my profile), the God of the bible actually challenged every so-called god to do what only He has ever done. That is, to foretell the future with incredible accuracy. He said of Himself that He reveals the end from the beginning.
Firstly, is Christ Himself. During His time on earth in Israel, as part of the Old Covenant, they required a temple in order to fulfil the ceremonial law. This temple was absolutely huge and very beautiful. The gates were so large that they required 20 men to open and close, and at night they were bolted with iron. Christ foretold of its destruction, saying:
Luke 21:5-6 5 Then, as some spoke of the temple, how it was adorned with beautiful stones and donations, He said, 6 “These things which you see—the days will come in which not one stone shall be left upon another that shall not be thrown down.”
Luke 21:20-24 20 “But when you see Jerusalem surrounded by armies, then know that its desolation is near. 21 Then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains, let those who are in the midst of her depart, and let not those who are in the country enter her. 22 For these are the days of vengeance, that all things which are written may be fulfilled. 23 But woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days! For there will be great distress in the land and wrath upon this people. 24 And they will fall by the edge of the sword, and be led away captive into all nations. And Jerusalem will be trampled by Gentiles until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.
And we know from history, approximately 40 years after the crucifixion of Christ, the second temple was totally destroyed by the Romans, who killed many of the Jews with the sword, taking them captive into their own nations.
Historians such as Josephus (a Jew who fought for Rome during this siege), and Tacitus (a pagan Roman govenor), and the Talmud all wrote of this event which took place. All of these sources state that miraculous omens took place in the second temple before its destruction, such as the gates of the temple (which require 20 people to open and close), opening by themselves at night, voices telling things to people in the temple, amongst other things. What is striking is the Talmud (which is a collection of Jewish rabbinic writings) says that these signs appeared after 30 AD (matching the crucifixion of Christ). The Talmud also mentioned how each year the Jews would celebrate the day of atonement, in which a scapegoat would be sacrificed for the sins of the nations would lead to a crimson thread miraculously turning white, showing the sins of the nation had been forgiven. After around 30 AD this never happened again, which fulfils what the prophet Jeremiah foretold, saying God would create a new covenant.
Christ has been written of many many many years before He was even born. Psalm 22, is quoted by Jesus when He is on the cross, saying “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”. If one then turns to it, and reads through it, we can see crucifixion being described. It was written by King David around 1000 BC, whereas the earliest records we have of crucifixion is 600 BC. King David was never crucified in his life. And yet, halfway through the psalm it begins to speak of all the foreign nations turning to worship the God of the Jews, which has come to pass after His crucifixion. The chances of this actually taking place are very small, yet it has happened, defying all odds.
Isaiah 52 and 53 prophesy Christ dying for the sins of the world, and rising again, justifying many in very strong detail. To quote a small section of it: He is despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows well acquainted with grief. We hid, as it were, our faces from Him. He is despised and we did not esteem Him. Surely He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows. Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities. The chastisement for our peace was upon Him and by His stripes we are healed.
Genesis 22 shows the LORD, who had just promised Abraham that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars of the sky, then commands him to slay his son, Isaac. Therefore Abraham reasoned within himself that Isaac would be raised from the dead, as God could not fail to fulfil His promise. Isaac carried the wood up the mountain, just as Christ carried His cross. Abraham was very old at this stage, so Isaac could have easily resisted him and fled, yet it seems he wilfully gave his life, fearing God, just as Christ did the same. And then the place was called "the LORD will provide", after the event.
Daniel 7 shows that the Exalted Messiah, the Son of Man would come with clouds. Christ gave Himself the title. Interestingly the Son of Man is to receive worship from all nations. The Aramaic word used is pelakh which is used exclusively of deities. This gives the Son of Man the status of God, being distinct from the Ancient of Days.
God even foretold the destruction of Tyre (which used to be a trade hub for the whole world) in really really strong detail.
I could give more examples, but suffice to say. I’ve looked at a lot of the criticism the bible gets, and it still stands. So with all this being said, even though I am 100% sure He is real, good and Lord of all (cos I know Him), to an outsider there is compelling evidence that the Messiah of the Jews and Saviour of the world is Jesus Christ.