Real labor time

I should not be writing this. I know they will be looking for me as soon as this goes live. I had to get the word out despite all the secrecy surrounding the project. I don't know what they'll do to me when they find me, but this has to get out.
I was unemployed looking for work when I came across a job listing offering a strangely large amount of money. What did I have to loose? I called the number and they gave me a website to go to that took me through an application process and a security clearance form that I had to fill out the last seven years of my life. They said it would be months until the clearance would come through but to my surprise a month later I got a phone call telling me I had been granted Interm Secret clearance and the job would proceed.
I had to go to a building without any name on it downtown and they took my photo for an ID card and a packet of information about where I was to go to the next day.
The next morning I drove to the address with a mix of excitement and apprehension. What about this job required a security clearance? Why had I gotten my interm secret so quickly? I figured I'd soon find out when I pulled up to a gate with a card reader. I swiped my ID and the razor wire topped gate slid open so I could pass. Yeah nothing ominous about that. I drove a mile or so down the road and parked in the parking lot in front of a building that looked like the set of a prison movie. The windows were narrow slits and I could tell from a distance that the door was very heavy duty. Thinking back a few minutes ago wasn't the top of that razor wire fence angled in as if to keep something in rather than people out?
I got out and approached the heavy door. I spotted the card reader and used my ID on it and it flashed green and there was a loud clunking sound from the door as it unlocked. I had to put some muscle behind it to get it to open and then it shut behind me followed by another loud clunk as the locks reengaged.
I turned to see a thick armored window with a guard staring me down.
"First day huh?" he asked me as he looked at his screen.
"Yeah," I said a bit nervously.
"Sit tight, your department head will be coming to pick you up and take you to your in-brief," he said.
"What uh, what is this place?" I asked.
"All that will be answered by the briefing so have a seat and relax. You're likely in the safest spot in the facility," he said.
I looked at the inner door and noticed it was just as thick and heavy as the outer one. I was essentially sitting in an armored booth so he was technically right about it being safe.
When my boss arrived he was wearing scrubs and had his ID card clipped to the bottom of the V of the top.
"So, you're my new tech?" he asked.
"Yes, Sir," I replied.
"Good, hopefully you follow instructions better than the last one," he said. "I'm Dr. Tanner. You can call me 'Sir' or 'Doctor'."
"Sir, can you tell me what I'll be doing here?" I asked.
"All in due time. First you need to complete the safety briefing. It is not a joke. Take a look at the windows and doors if you need convincing. The government doesn't spend this kind of money unless it's very necessary, and it is. You'll understand the need for it when I introduce you to our charges. I'm not going to tell you yet because I enjoy the look on people's faces when they get their first peak of what we're doing here," he said. "Now, for the safety briefing. Follow me."
He began to open the inner door when he stopped and looked back at me. "Do you have any electronic devices on you?"
"No Sir, the security documents instructed me to leave my phone and anything with a digital memory in the car," I said.
"Excellent, you're already demonstrating that you can follow directions," he said. Was that a hint of a smile I saw?
He lead me down the hallway to a room on the left and used his card to unlock and open the door. After I walked inside what appeared to be a conference room he followed me inside and let the door shut.
I immediately noticed the back of the door wasn't the usual thing one would expect to see. It had a big lever in the middle that looked like it operated bolts to secure the door shut. I started to wonder what the hell I had gotten myself into. I expected to be working with maybe the facility's guard dogs. This kind of security was on a level I hadn't experienced before.
"Good, you're observant, another plus," the doctor said.
He walked over to the table and picked up a recorder and pressed play. A trilling alarm sound came for it and he let it play for a few seconds before cutting it off.
"If you hear that sound along with flashing red lights you are to go to the nearest safe room, such as this one and use this lever to bolt the door," He walked over and pressed a button by the windows and the thick glass became opaque.
"And you are to opaque the windows with the control in the room so nothing can see in," he said and then pointed to a door on the other wall that had 'Emergency Supplies' written on it. "There you will find food, water, and other necessities if you happen to be locked down for an extended period of time. There is also a radio already set to the control room frequency. If the phone is not working pull the tab on the back of the radio so the battery makes contact and reports in with the information posted on the back of the door. That's basically who you are, where you are, and if there are any threats you know of near you. Otherwise sit tight unless told otherwise."
"Threats?" I asked.
"Our charges are out of containment or an external threat," the doctor replied.
"What's so dangerous that we need bunker rooms like this?" I asked.
"All in due time," he replied. "Have you ever used a tranquilizer gun?"
"No," I responded.
"No matter, you'd need to qualify on the two types we use anyway with the security team," he said.
"Why do we need tranquilizer guns?" I asked.
"The animals we work with are dangerous. They're sedated before they get to us and one of our tasks is to make sure they stay sedated until they're returned to the enclosure. If one wakes up and slips a restraint you are not going to want to go near it to give an injection. That's why we have tranq guns," The doctor said.
"That makes perfect sense to me," I said. My curiosity was burning wondering what we were working with. Had to be something like large predators to require this much security. A grizzly would be a plausible reason why the doors had the extra bars. The force they could produce could snap the usual latches.
"Good because it's time for my favorite part. Showing the new guy what we work with," the doctor said and led the way deeper into the facility and up a set of stars to a room labeled 'observation deck'.
"The windows are to remain frosted by the electronic controls there whenever the room is not in use. They cannot see in but they seem to know someone is watching them and it upsets them. It's best for everyone if they are not upset," He reached over and pressed the button and the electronic frosting cleared.
That's the moment where my brain completely derailed and I questioned my own sanity.
"W-Werewolves?" I asked.
"No, at least not at this facility. These are a lesser known cryptid called Dogmen, kind of like Bigfoot."
"Wait, is Bigfoot real?" I asked.
"Yes, but not nearly as widespread as 'sightings' would make you think," he said.
"If these exist, what else is real?" I asked him.
"That's beyond your need to know," he said sternly, but then his face softened. "I'll lend you a book later that contains everything we've confirmed and studied. After all, if you continue with this job you will have the opportunity to work with them in the future, and it's best you know what you're getting into," he said. "One benefit they probably haven't gotten around to telling you yet is that they will pay for your education. You can become a full veterinarian working with the most interesting creatures that exist," he said. "Not a bad gig, huh?"
"Except for the part where I'm working with large dangerous creatures," I said.
"Large, intelligent, dangerous creatures," he replied. "And that is why we have procedures and rules. Things like always having more sedative staged to inject if a patient starts to wake up, having them restrained at all times, and if they do wake up you have the tranq guns to put them back under without risking yourself," he said and tapped the control to frost over the glass again.
Our next stop was back in the conference room where there were now a couple of binders.
"Now for the boring part. Study these because you'll have to pass a test on them later. It's those procedures I mentioned. It covers everything from handling the animals, dosages we use, and why we can't leave after dark."
"Wait, we can't leave after dark?" I asked, a bit alarmed.
"There are dogmen in the woods surrounding this facility. The fence does a decent job of keeping them out but they do get in and they're not happy we have some of their kind captive. They're fairly shy during the day and become active at night so it's for your own safety that once the sun sets you stay here. We have secure rooms just for the occasion, and scrubs are not short in supply if you need a change of clothing. We have a mess hall staffed 24/7 by some excellent cooks. People who can do this job are rare so they take care of us. Now get to reading, you'll have to pass a test before you're allowed to work. I'll come pick you up for lunch."
I did as he said and spent the next few hours reading with a break for the promised lunch that was beef stroganoff and actually really good. I went for seconds. Then it was back to memorizing policy and procedures till I was finally done and managed a passing score on the test. That was followed by some time at an indoor range getting qualified on the tranq guns.
The doctor reviewed my test and nodded. "Excellent, you're a fast learner. We've rescheduled some things for tomorrow so we'll have the extra help. You head home and get a good night's rest. I'll see you in the morning in the veterinary section, just follow the signs it's easy to find," the doctor said.
I did as he said and drove home. I couldn't help but be a good deal more vigilant as I looked at the woods on the way out. Dogmen were out there and no one in the area except us knew. There were the cryptid hunters but they didn't know for sure like I did from seeing a pack close up.
Needless to say I didn't get a whole lot of sleep that night. My mind was racing with the possibilities of what was real from all of the stories.
In the morning I made breakfast and sat for a bit having to give myself a reality check that yesterday wasn't just a dream, so I finally picked up my keys and headed out. I drove down the lonely road and passed through the gate without incident. I parked my car and made my way through the security checkpoints and began following the signs to the Veterinarian department. As the doctor had said, it wasn't difficult to find.
There were three entrances all like airlocks that were long enough for a gurney. It didn't take long to figure out the purpose. If you had dangerous animals inside you wanted at least one door containment so they couldn't get past you and into the larger facility.
I went inside through the airlock like doors one at a time and found myself in a very familiar veterinary clinic though one that was very well stocked.
It was then that I met my other coworker, I'll call him Mike, who was sitting on a stool reading a magazine.
"Hey, you must be the new guy. I'm Mike," he said and I introduced myself.
"So, your first big day. You excited, or terrified?" Mike asked.
"A bit of both," I said honestly.
"Relax, by the time they get to us they've been pumped with enough drugs to drop an elephant. We take samples and the guards take them back out. Then we run the usual tests like any other animal. It's easy money," Mike said. "We're never in any danger."
"What about all of the procedures?" I asked.
"There's what's written down on paper and then there's what is practical and works. If we followed the checklist for every dogman that's brought in here it would just take us twice as long, and twice as long that it can wake up," Mike said. "So relax, I'll show you what you really have to do to streamline things."
What was I to say? He'd obviously been doing this for a long time and if his system worked who was I to question it?
Our first patient of the day made me the most nervous. The security team wheeled in a restrained female on a gurney right into the middle of our space then they backed out. Being the new guy I did the basics by checking heart rate, breathing, and looking into the eyes to make sure she was out cold. Everything was normal based on the numbers I had memorized.
Mike watched me, corrected my stethoscope placement a little and started drawing blood as soon as I was done. The moment he was done he buzzed the guards to take her back out while he labeled the samples.
"Less time they're in here the better so label your samples and fill out the papers once they're taken out," Mike said. "No need to have a dangerous animal laying around while we fill out forms."
"What about the extra sedative we're supposed to have ready?" I asked.
"The tranq guns are right there. Much safer to back off out of reach and just shoot them with another dose," Mike said. I couldn't fault his logic.
We had four more patients that day all went as smoothly as the first and I was beginning to relax. It was our last patient of the day when things went wrong.
It started normally with the guards rolling the male into our space and I took vitals and checked the eyes.
"Hey, I have some dilation here. I don't think he's under enough. Where's the sedative?" I asked.
"Don't worry about it. I'll be done before he realizes what happened," Mike said and undid one of the restraints a little so he could get to the vein. It was at that point things went horribly wrong. As soon as Mike inserted the needle the male woke up and jabbed it's hand upward catching Mike in the throat and spraying blood everywhere. I moved forward out of instinct to try and tighten the restraint when I felt a searing pain across my face and my right eye went red.
I stumbled back. Oh God had I lost my eye? I shook myself out of it long enough to badge through a door and throw the bolts before pressing the intercom button. "Creature out of containment in veterinary. I think Mike is dead. I'm hurt and need a medic!" I said before blacking out.
I don't know how long it was but when I woke up I was in a hospital room and the Veterinarian was sitting beside my bed.
"You're safe, you're in a hospital and just out of cosmetic surgery. You'll have some scars but it'll look like the result of a big cat. Your eye is fine."
"Mike?" I asked.
"Dead before any help would get to him. We have video of the whole thing including you questioning him multiple times on matters of procedure. Don't let someone senior intimidate you into not being safe. You have a month's paid leave to recuperate." he said.
So here I am. I need some advice. Should I go back to work after my leave is done or turn in my resignation? It won't take them much to figure out who I am if they find this post. I also don't know what they'll do to me if they do.

I (19F) am extremely unphotogenic. It’s to the point that it consumes about a 1/3 of my daily thoughts and I constantly worry about being photographed even in group pictures. Ik it sounds silly but other people have even admitted to me (mostly men) that I don’t always look the best in pictures.
Now I do know that I don’t look like this in real life, I obviously look different in the mirror vs camera (as I’ve been told as well) and I actually look pretty okay in videos and up close pictures. But sometimes it’s just very hard to accept the fact that I really don’t look good in photos the same way other people do. I mean I see people take 1 & done photos all the time but it almost feels like it takes me an eternity to get the right angle, lighting, & etc for a decent photo.
Ik it shouldn’t matter bcuz if anything what you look like in person should be what matters and I’ve been asked out before which means I’m not totally ugly. But it’s so hard to overcome especially when people try to call you “pretty” and “beautiful” and the only think you can think about is all the times you’re not. It’s embarrassing too bcuz I constantly think about how when I’m with a guy, what if him, a friend of his, or someone else finds a picture of me somewhere or on social media and thinks I’m ugly or makes fun of my looks? Or worse what if they even think that I’m too ugly to be with the person I’m dating?
Ugh, idk I’ve just been really struggling with this lately and I’m wondering that for anyone whose been in the same boat as me, how did you overcome this? Or if there was anything you did that helped you become more photogenic in pictures, even if small?

Introduction
The agriculture sector has long been the backbone of economies worldwide, especially in countries like India. The evolution of agricultural practices has been significantly influenced by advancements in farming machinery, with tractors playing a pivotal role. Among the prominent names in the tractor industry is Swaraj Tractors, a brand synonymous with reliability, innovation, and farmer-centric design. This piece explores how Swaraj Tractors have led an agricultural revolution, transforming traditional farming methods and contributing to increased productivity and farmer prosperity.
The Genesis of Swaraj Tractors
Founding and Vision
Swaraj Tractors was founded with a vision to empower Indian farmers by providing them with robust and affordable agricultural machinery. Established in 1974, the brand emerged from the collaborative efforts of the Central Mechanical Engineering Research Institute (CMERI) and Punjab Tractors Limited (PTL). The name "Swaraj," meaning self-reliance, embodies the brand's mission to make Indian farmers self-sufficient.
Early Innovations
From its inception, Swaraj focused on innovation tailored to the specific needs of Indian farmers. The early models were designed to be versatile, capable of performing various agricultural tasks from plowing to transportation. These tractors were built to withstand the rugged terrains and diverse climatic conditions of India, ensuring durability and minimal maintenance.
Technological Advancements
Engine Efficiency and Power
Swaraj Tractors have continually evolved to incorporate cutting-edge technology. Modern Swaraj tractors are equipped with powerful engines that offer superior fuel efficiency, reducing the overall cost of operation. The use of direct injection engines, turbocharging, and intercooling technologies have further enhanced their performance and environmental compliance.
Ergonomic Design and Comfort
Understanding the long hours farmers spend on their tractors, Swaraj has invested in ergonomic designs that offer comfort and reduce operator fatigue. Features like adjustable seats, easy-to-use controls, and improved cabin designs have made a significant difference in operator productivity and health.
Advanced Features
Swaraj Tractors are now equipped with advanced features such as power steering, synchromesh transmission, and multi-speed PTO (Power Take-Off). These enhancements have increased the versatility and efficiency of Swaraj Tractors, enabling farmers to undertake a wide range of activities with a single machine.
Impact on Agriculture
Productivity Boost
The introduction of Swaraj Tractors has led to a substantial increase in agricultural productivity. The efficiency and power of these tractors have enabled farmers to cultivate larger areas in less time, facilitating multiple cropping cycles and better land use.
Economic Benefits
Swaraj Tractors have contributed to the economic upliftment of farmers by reducing their dependency on manual labor and enhancing their capacity to manage larger farms. The increased productivity has led to higher incomes and improved living standards for farming communities.
Sustainability
Swaraj’s commitment to sustainability is evident in its efforts to produce eco-friendly tractors. The incorporation of technologies that reduce emissions and fuel consumption aligns with global sustainability goals and helps in promoting environmentally responsible farming practices.
Community and Farmer Support
Training and Education
Swaraj Tractors has established numerous training centers and programs to educate farmers about modern farming techniques and the effective use of their machinery. These initiatives have empowered farmers with knowledge and skills, enabling them to maximize the benefits of their tractors.
After-Sales Service
A robust after-sales service network ensures that Swaraj Tractors remain operational with minimal downtime. The availability of genuine spare parts and timely maintenance services have built trust and reliability among the farming community.
Conclusion
Swaraj Tractors has been a game-changer in the agricultural sector, leading an agri-evolution that has transformed the lives of farmers. Through relentless innovation, farmer-centric designs, and a commitment to sustainability, Swaraj has not only boosted agricultural productivity but also contributed to the economic and social development of rural communities. As the agriculture sector continues to evolve, Swaraj Tractors remains at the forefront, driving progress and empowering farmers towards a prosperous fut

I feel like I've tried everything but I'm at a complete loss here.
7 weeks ago, I adopted a cat who was a former outdoor cat. She's a tripod cat, missing a leg, in major part because the previous owner let her free-roam. We've both had cats before, so we were chosen to take her in.
From my understanding, this cat used to be let out in the evenings to go to the toilet because the previous owner wasn't fond of cleaning up kitty litter, but the cat would start refusing to come inside, and gradually transitioned to a completely outdoor cat who would sit by the door and yowl unless let outside, so the previous owner would do that to keep the peace, at which point the cat would apparently disappear for days.
Now that I've adopted her, this is obviously not going to continue. I don't believe in outdoor cats. Hazards and wildlife endangerment aside, her missing leg is plenty of evidence that she never belonged outside in the first place.
The problem is, she's been acting increasingly cagey and wild about being kept inside. The first couple of weeks were okay. She didn't really know which doors led to outside and she was still curious about the house, so she didn't really get bored at all, or try and get out. She was nervous the first day or so, but after that, she was a really pleasant, sweet cat.
But then it started...
She sits at the front door for hours a day. She gets aggressive and antsy, seemingly at random.
She'll be sitting next to you and just suddenly start hissing/lunging and batting at you. We've had cats before, and so we know what signs to look out for when a cat is overstimulated, but this is not that. We usually aren't petting her when she does it, and on the times we are petting her, she hasn't shown any behaviour that indicates she wants us to stop (no ears back, no wide eyes, no tail flicking, and we always offer our hand and let her press into it before patting rather than just start patting, if she doesn't nudge our hand, we stop petting.)
She can be a really affectionate cat too, so I don't think it's that she has new owners that is the problem. She often seeks us out, sits in our laps, purrs, nudges, scents, etc. It's just that when she does that, we've learned to get nervous because it's like she'll turn on a dime.
She's not understimulated. We play with her a lot, with varied toys. She has a tunnel, a scratching post, a water fountain. We play with balls, string toys, small teddies, she's not wanting for anything.
She gets particularly bad when we come inside from outside. She'll try and forcefully push past us when we come in, and when we gently wave her away from the door, she'll hiss and lunge at us again. Every time we come home, or go out to check the mail, it's a confrontation.
We've tried opening the blinds to let her see outside and while she does like looking out there, and will often sit by the window for hours, it hasn't helped the aggressiveness. There are no other cats around for her to spot and be nervous of, and we've even taken her out there on a harness after a few weeks of this, to scent out there, but all she did was try and pull away and get the harness off (Not while inside when it was first put on, exclusively once she was outside, trying to escape).
I'm really worried here because my partner has two very young nephews that come to visit sometimes and we've had to put a pin in that while this aggressive behaviour is going on. I'm really not sure what else to do... we don't have room outside for a cat run, we have no yard at all, and a shared driveway.
She's litter trained, always has fresh litter too, so it's not about going to the bathroom, and she's well fed.
I'm very worried she's going to get out one day and get lost out there, since they aren't the streets she is familiar with. The previous owner told me that she is impossible to catch and bring home until she shows up home herself. So if she gets out, I'm afraid she'll never come back. We live near a highway too, so it's a worry.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to calm this cat? Will she settle herself? Its been weeks now with no improvement. If anything, it seems like its getting worse, she jumped up on my desk yesterday, snuggled against me, then seconds later, scratched my cheek and fled.
The scratches aren't really the problem since we can just clean them up, no real damage done, but she's clearly distressed and I don't want that kind of life for here where she's constantly in that state.

Is there any way to disable podcast? I am very tempted to disable podcast along with the whole device using a sledgehammer at this point.

So this might sound ridiculous, but I’m afraid if I just open my mouth and, barely use my throat muscles (I guess?) the wrong (or right?) way, screaming will come out even without me wanting or intending it to.
I recently had a dream that wasn’t even a nightmare (and I have those kind of often, even at 28 years old) where I just opened my mouth and screaming came out on its own, no effort in it.
I woke up screaming for real, and just like when it’s actually a terrifying nightmare, I screamed as loud and long as I possibly could. I even did it a second time after realizing I was awake because I felt anxiety about it either sounding “like a girl” or being just below as loud as it could be, so I felt I had to do it again. I mean, if I woke anyone up I already did.
A couple months ago I felt an overwhelming urge to scream as loud as I possibly could, and I DIDN’T give into it, but then I had a “false awakening” nightmare about that which made me make up screaming bloody murder anyway.
It’s like, if I don’t give in when I’m awake, I’ll be forced to do it against will when I’m asleep (unconscious), which makes me wake up doing it for real.
I could very well be dead and in Hell, because all these thoughts, and urges, and over awareness over the littlest details are genuine psychological Hell for me.
It’s not just a fear of failing to resist urges, but genuinely losing control of my body/actions, I was (for lack of any better explanation) possessed at 13, I went to sleep, woke up thinking about the day, and my body got up and ran against my will.
I even BARKED in my mom’s face after telling her that something was wrong.
How do I know it was truly against my will? Because I didn’t even think about my actions before they happened. I was temporarily a puppet for some unseen being/force.
Calling out to God, actually made it stop.
If it wasn’t demonic spirits possessing me I don’t know what else it could possibly be. Even a pastor and psychiatrist couldn’t give a certain/sure answer.
I hate having a physical body, I really do. Even God is against the flesh, before anyone says “your body is a gift from God!”
I can’t imagine what people with Tourette’s syndrome and seizures go through on a daily basis…..
Even if I have more self control now, I’m nothing more than a puppet for some higher being, whether it be spiritual or subconscious.
This makes me want my vocal cords ripped out.

Hello! I'm looking for some new people to chat with, I've been kind of down in the dumps as of recently, dealing with depression, I recently made a relationship decision I'm not necessarily to sure on, having doubts in my choices... and I'm thinking they are turning into regret, so really could use a shoulder to vent to of your willing?
A little about me, I'm a somewhat of a shut in, or more... home isn't even home like right now and well... I don't feel comfortable leaving my house lol, guess if I rot in here long enough, I'll probably get somewhere... if not at least an early grave.
I love to rewatch old cartoons, draw/home craft, gossip (who dosen't lets be real) and complain generally. I love to read and dive into really any fantasy type. I game here and there but really mostly on my phone/dieing laptop, so I can't play to many games but can certainly try.
I love food, plants and especially animals! I'm generally open most of the time, and honestly when I'm not, I'm probably just laying in bed on my phone looking at memes/pinterest "resting" anyways... more so looking for women to talk to, but open to guys as well, any age really just no one underage, sorry kiddos.
Feel free to DM!

Concept: My idea revolves around a world where Pro Wrestling is real. So the different aspects would include the fights not being choreographed (still looks the same), Matches are actually fought. Some same stuff would include the characters of the wrestlers except the Kayfabe is just real. Promotions still exist and so does merch and popularity, types of matches, belts, the rest of the wrestlering world.
Looking for: This can be run as a world of OCs, OCs and real world wrestlers, and also just the real world of wrestlers. Each one having its merits. I can write 1st or 3rd person. Writing length to me depends on the scene or context. I also do prefer to rp on Discord. It's easier to manage.
I would like to avoid the distasteful and sometimes just outright awful things some pro wrestlers do outside of the ring. (Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, and wrestlers on crazy amounts of drugs). I understand that it can make a villan or character arc I would just like to be careful and smart.
I'm from the PST time zone
Bonus-my wrestling knowledge: Most of my wrestling knowledge comes from Modern Joshi wrestling. I am aware of some of the current WWE/AEW/CMLL western scene. I have random pieces of knowledge of Western wrestling but it's not that much. I do know of NJPW/Dragon Gate/DDT/Noah and the Japanese mens Wrestling scene. However like my knowledge of the Western scene it's sparse.

Concept: My idea revolves around a world where Pro Wrestling is real. So the different aspects would include the fights not being choreographed (still looks the same), Matches are actually fought. Some same stuff would include the characters of the wrestlers except the Kayfabe is just real. Promotions still exist and so does merch and popularity, types of matches, belts, the rest of the wrestlering world.
Looking for: This can be run as a world of OCs, OCs and real world wrestlers, and also just the real world of wrestlers. Each one having its merits. I can write 1st or 3rd person. Writing length to me depends on the scene or context. I also do prefer to rp on Discord. It's easier to manage.
I would like to avoid the distasteful and sometimes just outright awful things some pro wrestlers do outside of the ring. (Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, and wrestlers on crazy amounts of drugs). I understand that it can make a villan or character arc I would just like to be careful and smart.
I'm from the PST time zone
Bonus-my wrestling knowledge: Most of my wrestling knowledge comes from Modern Joshi wrestling. I am aware of some of the current WWE/AEW/CMLL western scene. I have random pieces of knowledge of Western wrestling but it's not that much. I do know of NJPW/Dragon Gate/DDT/Noah and the Japanese mens Wrestling scene. However like my knowledge of the Western scene it's sparse.

Recently (like the last year or so) I’ve (41f) become friends with a lady I met because she taught the training classes I took my new puppy to. We text a lot, and I thought we’d become friends. She’s part of this dog sport and her club hosted a tournament this weekend and she asked me to volunteer to help out. My job ended up involving pushing a button that started a warmup countdown. Anyhoo, there was this judge who wanted me to push it at one time, but the tournament director told me to push it at a different time. I told the judge, and he went full off on me, throwing f-bombs and asking if he needed to “come push the f’ing button himself”. I almost immediately went into a panic attack after being yelled at like that (men yelling at me is a huge trigger for me). When I panic, I cry, usually so hysterically that I start to struggle to breathe. I tried so hard to keep it under control. After the next race, I did get a little salty and asked if he wanted to watch me push the button. He went ballistic and ended up calling me an f’ing a-hole. I was just a volunteer who had never even attended a tournement of this sport before! The attack took full hold and I fled the scene. I went and found my “friend” to tell her what had happened and that I needed to have some time to collect myself. She got so frustrated and told me to go home because I was “making a scene”. It just turned out that everyone seemed mad at me because I was crying and couldn’t stop. No one seemed to think the judge’s behavior was the real problem. So I was sent home. I had to sit in my car almost an hour to calm down enough to drive, after vomiting up my first emergency Klonopin and taking another one. It was absolutely awful. I’d been having a really good time up to then. It really hurt me that my friend dismissed me like that after I was treated so poorly by that judge just because I was crying. I HATE having panic attacks. It’s like I lose all credibility because I just look like a grown woman bawling like a baby. I don’t need any help or answers or anything from Reddit, I just wonder if other people have been blamed for some sh*tty situation going off the rails because they panicked even if it wasn’t their fault that the situation existed in the first place. Please pardon the rant. It’s the middle of the night and I still can’t sleep because of the experience. I feel so humiliated.

Concept: My idea revolves around a world where Pro Wrestling is real. So the different aspects would include the fights not being choreographed (still looks the same), Matches are actually fought. Some same stuff would include the characters of the wrestlers except the Kayfabe is just real. Promotions still exist and so does merch and popularity, types of matches, belts, the rest of the wrestlering world.
Looking for: This can be run as a world of OCs, OCs and real world wrestlers, and also just the real world of wrestlers. Each one having its merits. I can write 1st or 3rd person. Writing length to me depends on the scene or context. I also do prefer to rp on Discord. It's easier to manage.
I would like to avoid the distasteful and sometimes just outright awful things some pro wrestlers do outside of the ring. (Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, and wrestlers on crazy amounts of drugs). I understand that it can make a villan or character arc I would just like to be careful and smart.
I'm from the PST time zone
Bonus-my wrestling knowledge: Most of my wrestling knowledge comes from Modern Joshi wrestling. I am aware of some of the current WWE/AEW/CMLL western scene. I have random pieces of knowledge of Western wrestling but it's not that much. I do know of NJPW/Dragon Gate/DDT/Noah and the Japanese mens Wrestling scene. However like my knowledge of the Western scene it's sparse.

First of all, I do not say that this is the truth, I say it's an impression, and just my impression Feel free to comment and share your opinion
I'm very interested in religions, and I like to read and talk about it with a lot of different people As you know, religions are a way to approach the spirituality and the world, and most of the time it's hard for us to understand really different believes because all our life we had another way of thinking
Some thing that I noticed by reading and talking a lot about religions with other people is that it's really hard for people with a cultural background of abrahamic religions to grasp the ideas and concept of dharmic religions. I'm pretty sure it's the other way around, but I did not talk to enough people to confirm it.
Abrahamic religions use a lot of "black and white" concepts, and a lot of absolute (good and evil, perfect God,...), while some religions such as Buddhism may be a bit more diverse (no gods or unperfect divinities, no true self,...).
Sometime, people with a background of Abrahamic religons may find a some dharmic concepts a bit weird or obsolete. For example, I noticed a lot of people have a hard time understanding that you can have no "soul", no true self, and you can still be reincarnated (some Buddhism), or you can have a religion without a creator god (Jainism)
I think that saying "Hinduism has multiple gods, so none of them are real perfect gods" is like saying "Christian god created the world, so who created god?. It shows how little we may know about religions and shows how interesting humanity is. We always have something to learn from others. Once we drop our ego, we can understand a lot about others and their believes.

im 19 and in my second semester of comm college.
I wanna go to art school and study animation, i love art so so much. I wanted to apply to art school in my senior year of highschool but i didnt come up with a portfolio i was proud of to submit to schools with, so i told myself id take a "gap year" by going to cc and working on it, seeing what seemed plausible from there. I havent done anything. and worse then that, i fell into some a depression right as my second semester started. my first semester, i got all As. my second, im literally not going to pass a single class because i couldnt bring myself to do anything. if i wasnt stressed out by one thing, it was another, and its a vicious cycle of me being overwhelmed and embarrassed of myself and intimidated by everything i had to do. i kept telling myself and my advisors i would and i still couldnt bring myself to. i feel so useless and stupid and i dont know whats wrong with me. i know ive been through some bad stuff but it cant seriously have been bad enough to warrant this kind of incompetence??
and i think the most frustrating part is that this isnt the first time. its not the first time ive gotten myself excited at the thought of a new opportunity and genuinely WANTED to work towards it and ended up falling into some kind of pit ive always had to barely climb my way out of. its happened multiple times since middle school and i always mourn who or what i couldve been if i was more functional. i know im not stupid, far from it, but god i feel so stupid when im at a low like this. i cant ever seem to learn my damn lesson and i dont know what my problem is. all i know is that i dont wanna keep living like this. i hate this. its not that i dont wanna live, thankfully. mostly, i like who i am, who i can be as a person, what im capable of. but this feels. so pathetic.
i dont know what im gonna do now. so many deadlines for certain schools have passed, so many deadlines for certain scholarships have passed, things i know i couldve been at the very least a solid competitor for if i had put my best foot forward, but i never can. my options are so limited now. i got accepted to an animation program in LA, but the deposit is due by the end of this month and i dont think its reasonable for me to go. my parents keep saying "if its what you want to do, go for it" in attempt to be supportive but i dont wanna go $300,000 in debt for art school for an industry that is in shambles because of passion. i know pursuing art already is a gamble, and i want to have faith, but i dont know about "insane student loan debt" faith, even with whatever financial aid they could offer me. what about housing?? id have nowhere to be! even more money!
even if i did make that work, i wouldnt be able to bring my 8yo dog with me without being the worst owner ever. i know that sounds dumb on paper but shes everything to me, shes the reason i kept going after all these stupid depressive pits, and genuinely going away for 4 years might actually haunt me for the rest of my life. i get emotional just thinking about how shes getting older. i just dont think i can handle that heartache. what if i did manage to somehow get a place for myself, but then i just had to work all the time i wasnt studying??? she'd be alone and itd be so unfair for her and id feel awful but id feel awful without her anyways-- but i really really want to study animation in california.. i dunno.
my safe option was a school in the city i go to that has a decent enough program, and i applied, but for some reason i got notified my app was considered incomplete because my damn hs transcript didnt get through to them and it took like a month to confirm it was submitted afterwards. now, ive reached out to their admissions about the status of my app, made multiple emails and calls, and i cant get ahold of anyone who can help me and im so so scared. if i at least dont have this as an option, i literally dont know what im going to do. im so scared. the only other school i am confident ican apply to still and get into is still an art school in cali with rolling admissions, but id still have to grapple with the tuition/housing situation and i just dont know if ill be able to figure something out. i feel like a failure with nothing to show for myself.
so now im failing basically a whole semester of my classes, have no idea what the hell im gonna do for next semester, and the stress and anxiety is only multiplying exponentially, i keep stress eating and its weighing on my mind even more because ive been trying to lose weight, and have made good progress, but i keep hitting this damn plateau and its just another thing on top thats making me feel worse about myself.
i feel so mediocre. i feel like wasted potential. i know im smart and have strong ambitions but i have nothing to prove that. i just want to feel good about myself, get a job, not feel exhausted all the damn time regardless of how much i sleep, feel good enough to draw what i love consistently enough, not eat away the feelings of my stress. i want to create and learn so so much. i want to feel refreshed and love my life and i know i can get there but it feels so out of reach. im so tired of being like this.
i dont even know what i can do going forward to get myself out of this. none of my friends know just how bad i have it right now and honestly im too ashamed to admit it. im probably going to send this to my counselors, see if i can take at least some of these classes during the summer or something, but i have genuinely no idea what is going to happen with me and im so terrified that i feel eternally paralyzed. i cant even taken my damn daily vitamins. its almost like nothing even feels real to me anymore, im just existing.
at the very least, ive asked various friends of mine to hold myself accountable for going to the doctor tomorrow. i cant and dont want to live like this anymore. i feel stupid and i need help. it wouldnt even be the first time ive tried but i guess im gonna have to be serious about it this time because even if things works out, no way i wanna fumble art school and what i care about. im just so scared of everything right now. i dont know what im gonna do. i dont know what i can do. hell, all of this is just my worries about my work and myself and doesnt even scrape the surface of family troubles. i feel like im drowning and i need to apologize to every professor and counselor that has had a shred of patience with me. i just want things to get better, to not feel like im somehow broken or incompetent on a level other people aren't. i need help :(

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There's a lot of other stories here that are way worse so I'm lucky for that but I just needed somewhere to put my thoughts.
I (M 18) have felt like a disappointment my whole life and just when things start to seem great everything just ends up falling apart. I feel alone in a world full of negativity and positivity. I understand all these different things people tell you. oh just focus on yourself all these things. I've focused on myself and when I finally felt ready to start talking to people again and hanging out I lost touch and fell down this rabbit hole again. I never had any real friends I could say I trusted. I've never been honest with a single person in real life because every single one of them has not shown me any sort of love. Being so alone in this world and I never felt someone was like me and understood me makes it so hard to live up to my morals.
I'm a passionate Christian at heart and all the people around me could care less except my church families of course. I am quite the active person I workout everyday, play a few sports and just like being active. I have yet to find anyone who has similar interests with me. I haven't been looking which could be the cause but at the same time I feel like if I looked I wouldn't find it just like with romantic partners. I've never been anyone's first choice and if I was it was one of those online relationships that was very naive of me to be involved in. People have never really found it fun or nice to talk to me. People don't ask me to hang out. People don't ever text me to just see how I'm doing. I do have one person like that but yet again it's an online relationship. Which makes it so hard for me when my love languages rely so much on physical affection and time spent together in real life.
I feel like the only person who truly loved me and was always there for me and really cared for me was my father. I regret how I treated him and I took him for granted I feel like I could've pushed for him to stop smoking more. I have one thing in life and that is that I have no regrets except one and it's my father. He died in the summer of 2022. I was a senior and my mother worked on her business she has customers but doesn't make anywhere near my father. I started handling all the finances and dealing with all the tax information her business all this legal action during my junior year of high school. My entire summer I spent at home on my computer or with my dad. I wasn't able to practice the sports I enjoyed so greatly. I have no regret in that as it was for my father. Although I guess I'm trying to say that the only person who ever cared for me was my own father. No friends no nothing.
My mother on the other hand became verbally and emotionally abusive. She is still that way however has gotten much better about our relationship and I just feel like I can't truly trust her as her abusive tendencies always come out. She'll yell get mad and do anything to make you feel like a terrible person. She projects so much of her ignorance on you and expects everyone else to fix her problems and "help" her. There's a reason that she has a strained relationship with my dad's side of the family. She's unironically crazy. Luckily my dad's side of the family still loves me and they are always concerned about my well being.
I have all this ambition to do great things and it might sound a little silly but I want everyone to be loved and to forgive. I want to help all those less fortunate however I don't have the power or resources. My mom doesn't make enough money for me to not worry about expenses I sometimes see these people my age specifically my own friends. They go about life with so little care and they go out almost everyday, they spend money on whatever they want, they never have to worry about money or any sorts. I can honestly say that I'm not envious or really want their lives. However what I would like is to get rid of all this stress at 18. First year in college and everyday I worry about losing our house managing finances if we make enough money to survive. Honestly man I'm just lonely and everything just feels like it goes in a full circle.
I pray everyday and I want to love all people unconditionally but man is it hard when you've only ever had one person give you that kind of love and now they're gone forever. I wish I could be loved the same way that I love other people. Someone that sees me for me and just cares for me and. Loves me. I guess at the end of the day I just got to keep moving forward and who knows maybe I'll meet one person that loves me. But for now. It sucks not having anyone care for you or having a single person that you feel understands you and likes the things you like. If you've read this far thank you. I love you and I love everybody. I'll probably go pray now and I pray for all of you as well that you live happily and righteously. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray Amen. Any advice or insight is welcomed.

Hi,
I'm wondering if anyone would be able to to offer any advice on wether a master's in Bioinformatics, CS or Data Science would be best for my situation? I'm currently wetlab looking to transition into bioinformatics.
A bit of my background:
Undergrad in molecular bio, years of experience in wet lab molecular bio, so I don't feel like I need any more biology knowledge. I work really closely with the bioinformatics department, so I'm familiar with the tools they use and what they're for. I just don't understand exactly /how/ the algorithms work and why one might be better than the other, and also how these things run through the command line or are packaged into things like nextflow. Also no real understanding of how machine learning works.
My dilemma:
If I do a bioinformatics masters, is it going to teach me about the algorithms and statistics, or just how to use them on biological data? Would I be better doing a master's in data science and then use the knowledge I already have in biology and combine that with what I learn in the data science course to apply to bioinformatics, and make sure I'm doing projects in my spare time and during my course that are biology related?
I am also worried about the job market - where I live data science jobs are way more plentiful than bioinformatics jobs, and I'm worried that I'll come out of my master's in Bioinformatics unable to find a job, so have to fall back on my skills and go back to wetlab. If I do a master's in data science, I have a bit of redundancy, but it might make finding a job in bioinformatics more difficult which will force me into a data science role.
Thank you!

My partner and I have been in a relationship for almost 7 years. We have a child together. Of course there is the normal milestones. There are some things that we tried to work on. About one year into our relationship, I saw he searched his ex’s name on fb. I questioned him about it and he said it wasn’t anything. I told him I don’t feel comfortable with him looking at his ex’s profile.
There was a huge wave in our relationship recently. I asked him questions about his phone. He was open with me looking at his phone. I looked at his fb convo between him and his girl bsf. I saw he asked if there’s any tea on his ex. The two of them have an open dynamic where they can talk about anything. This, however, made mental alarms. I tried to scroll more, but my partner got defensive and said that their convo is one exception. He doesn’t feel comfortable with me looking at their convo.
He said he is an open book and to ask what they talked about. He doesn’t want to disclose any of her personal issues, see how many times he talked about his ex, his talks about mental health, etc. I asked if there’s any sexual talk with his bsf. He said no, except he talked about times of getting soft and asked for advice. He also said he had sex dreams about his ex and told his bsf about it. He told me that he had no feelings about those dreams. His bsf asked if he had feelings and he told her no. I don’t know if this is common since he is my first love. I told him there needs to be boundaries with his bsf relationship. I am also very sad he said he talked about his ex multiple times over the 6.5 year course of our relationship.
We have had many talks about this. He swears he is over his ex. His reasoning was that he wants the “better life” (she cheated and the relationship didn’t end well). He said he loves me and wants to put this behind us. I am unsure of how to go about this. This is my first real relationship. Is it possible to be over an ex, but still talk about them with others while in a long term relationship?
Tldr: partner talks about ex with bsf. I am unsure if he’s over her. I am still in love with him.

Hi,
not sure if this is the best place to ask, but I can't think of a better one right now.
Do you know of an English language course similar to Nicos Weg? That is, online, multiple native language support, and if possible, with engaging plot/story.
I'm looking for something like that for my 11yo daughter, to supplement her English curriculum at school. I want it to be asynchronous, so that she could do it in her free time. I know a real teacher would likely be best, but she's shy, I'd like to start with something, well, anonymous. Our mother tongue is Polish, support for Polish would be nice.
We've tried Duolingo and it seems like an endless grind, and I think the gamification features actually take away all the fun in the long run.

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Not even gonna lie attack on titan is the first anime that really real life had me crying laying in my bed questioning my existence because that ending was so peaceful rather than all the cliffhanger endings in anime. This actually showed the ending plus erens true intentions I've literally rewatched attack on titan like 10 times already I highly love this anime but besides that sasha had the most stupidest death bro like getting one tapped by a little girl is beyond me bro like shits actually wild.

For any of this to make sense, I need to give some background info first. I apologize for the wordiness - I'm a creative writing major and I can't really help it. (Also, I apologize for anything I do wrong in this post, including formatting, I literally have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to Reddit.)
I'm a student, I'm almost 21 (turning in June) and I have multiple diagnosed disabilities and several that my doctor and I are still trying to figure out. I just completed my first year of college (...barely) about a week ago. I was (and still am) living at home with my parents, as my hometown is only a 20-30 min drive from the larger town where I go to school. However, while it technically worked, it didn't really work well. Given that some of my disabilities make it impossible and dangerous for me to drive, I relied on my mom to drive me, which mostly worked out since her job isn't far from campus, but she started working at 7 am, meaning I had to wake up by or before 6 and my classes usually didn't start until 9 or later.
Due to this, I lost out on a lot of sleep throughout the year (even when going to bed "early" (which often still wasn't until after midnight due to other disabilities and insomnia keeping me up even with sleep aids/medication) and lost out on a lot of social opportunities as well since I was going home around 4 in the afternoon, when a lot of club meetings and other things are scheduled. Because I was losing so much sleep, I found it hard to stay focused in class (though I didn't miss any, surprisingly) and found it even harder to complete schoolwork on time, if at all, on top of some of my disabilities getting worse and my medications not working. I ended up having to drop three of my four classes last semester (spring semester, not autumn) because it was better than having inevitable fails marked on my transcript.
I planned to move onto campus for the following four or five years (I'm taking fewer credits than most students, 12 vs. the standard 15, but still full-time) since I knew that my maternal grandparents had a college fund set up for me, but since I struggled so much this year due to my disabilities, I'm now deemed "untrustworthy" and they're not allowing me to use it (which is honestly hilarious, given how hypocritical their reasoning is, since my grandmother has been disabled since she was 13, but I digress).
I'm luckily able to get my tuition, some fees and my books/supplies covered through my local Vocational Rehabilitation center, but they can't cover the costs of dorm rooms or the meal plan that my university requires for students in the dorms. I get some financial aid through FAFSA, but not enough to cover those costs.
I'm currently unable to work most entry-level positions (no experience and/or too people-y) or any manual labor jobs (physical disabilities), and will definitely be unable once school starts because I won't have time. Unfortunately, my Social Security benefits application is still in the works. My family members (that aren't hypocritical *insert insulting terms here*) are all broke and can't afford to help me. I haven't yet heard if any of the scholarships I've applied for have awarded me anything.
I need approximately $14,000 by the end of this summer (or rather, $7k by the end of summer, another $7k by mid-January 2025) to cover this. I really don't want to take out student loans, since I may not be able to complete college if my disabilities continue to worsen (crossing my fingers that they don't, though!) and would therefore be unable to pay them off with the job my degree would hopefully open up for me (and my family wouldn't be able to pay them off either, since they're all broke, too).
I'm just at my wit's end... I don't know what to do. If I was able to work (or my grandparents didn't suck...) this wouldn't be that big of a deal, but it seems that I've been dealt the worst possible hand.
I guess what I'm asking is this: are loans are my only option, or am I just completely screwed?
Thanks in advance for any advice y'all have to give :')