Summary

I competed for the first time at the USPA Drug Tested Emerald City Classic hosted by DOP Strength Gym in Kirkland, WA on May 18th, 2024.
Here's my Instagram post with videos of my third attempts and a photo with my participation medal (I was the only 110kg submaster male lifter).
I went 9/9 with no red lights, broke my gym PRs on squat and deadlift, and had an awesome time. I competed in the submaster 110kg class in raw full power, weighed in (24h before) at 105.7 kg, and totaled 545kg. I planned to take very light openers, big jumps for my second attempts (15kg for squat and deadlift, 10kg for bench), and then smaller jumps (7.5kg for squat and deadlift, 5kg for bench) for my thirds, and I stuck to that plan. All of my lifts felt great and moved fast except for my third bench, which was a little bit of a grind. My strategy paid off because I had a much more enjoyable day going 9/9 a little light, compared to how I would have felt if I had missed any of my first or second attempts--which I saw happen to plenty of other lifters.
The gym was a little crowded with 60 lifters in 4 flights but the meet was super well run, with good vibes all around. The meet director was super clear at the rules briefing and the spotteloader crew absolutely hauled ass and the whole meet was over at 3 pm. I also got to see several master's lifters set state and national records, including a 72 year old woman, so that was awesome to watch.
My friend and training partner, who is an experienced master's lifter and meet judge, showed up to handle me and that made a huge difference in my experience. He really helped me a ton with understanding the pace, timing my warmups, loading the bar, chalking my back, cheering me on, telling me when to rest, eat, hydrate, everything. He really did a fantastic job.

Prep

I took Steve DeNovi's free 3x Bench - Conventional Deadlift program and ran Block 3 and the peaking block (10 weeks), with modifications to the accessory selection and split to make it 4 days a week. My weekly split was:

• Mon: Primary squat, OHP, pull ups, bicep curls
• Tue: Primary bench, secondary deadlift (cluster singles), chest supported rows, face pulls, tricep pushdowns
• Thu: Secondary squat, paused squat, tertiary bench (Larsen press), lat pulldowns, DB incline press
• Fri: Primary deadlift, paused deadlift, secondary bench, bent over rows, lateral raises

I really enjoyed this program and got a lot out of it. I felt like the peak timing was just right for my meet.

Squat

Squats felt great in prep. My training max for the first block was 425 lbs and I upped it to 435 for the second block. I didn't feel like I under or overshot any of my prep lifts, my RPEs felt accurate.
There was a little confusion about whether squats would be done on a 25kg squat bar or a 20kg power bar, but they ended up using the 20kg Kabuki power bar. The knurling felt great on my back.

1. 170kg. The main thing in my head was to take my time setting up, which I did, and I think it helped calm my nerves. When I unracked, the bar tilted to the right slightly, but I was able to level it out as I walked out. Stance felt solid, got a strong brace, weight felt light and moved fast.
2. 185kg. Better unrack. Felt lighter than I expected.
3. 192.5kg. Beat my gym PR of 415lbs. My handler said my third looked like it moved better than my second. I felt a cramp in my right inner hamstring as I locked it out though, and it's feeling sore today. I felt in control the whole rep but I think I kinda dive-bombed it and went a little too deep and that over-stretched my hammie. Looking back at the videos, I think I rushed the descent on all my squats, even though I had been practicing a slower descent during prep. Something to work on cleaning up before my next meet.

Bench

I kind of wrote off bench for this meet since I made poor progress in prep. For the first 5 week block my training max was 265 lbs and I felt like I was undershooting, so I increased it to 275 lbs, but once I started hitting singles at 250+ they weren't moving well and my butt started coming off the bench. I fixed that issue late in prep by setting my feet further back. My left shoulder had also been bothering me a bit lately, plus I started getting some tennis elbow on my left from the bent over rows or something. So I went with attempts I knew for sure I could hit, and didn't get too excited for bench. I also really felt that bench was a natural "valley" between the peaks of squat and deadlift, in terms of the energy level of the meet.

1. 100kg. A gimme attempt just to practice the commands for real.
2. 110kg. This was the best bench single I've had lately--setup, foot placement, arch, unrack, controlled descent, pause, and press, everything felt solid and it went up so fast that my friend who was working the scoring table shouted "Put some weight on the bar!"
3. 115kg. Unrack felt great, controlled eccentric and pause felt good, got a fast press command, but I think my back slipped a little on the pad, which was kind of slick, and I didn't get enough leg drive, and forgot to cue bar path, so I pressed it straight up off my chest and hit a sticking point, then my back cramped up and my arms started shaking. I barely got it locked out. I originally wanted to aim for 120kg on my third attempt but now I'm glad I didn't because I for sure would have missed it.

I'm pretty satisfied with just getting 9 white lights on bench because I was so worried about my butt popping up or having a brain fart and jumping the start or rack command, and those things didn't happen.

Deadlift

Deadlifts are my best event (long arms) and the pauses and cluster singles in DeNovi's program really helped dial in my setup and make me stronger off the floor. Having access to a deadlift bar in training was nice, as the whip might have thrown me off if I had only ever trained on a stiff bar. Liquid chalk + hook grip + Kabuki bar = unlimited grip.
Toward the end of prep I changed my setup to get rid of my dynamic "hip pump" wedge and just sink straight into my starting position, set my hook grip, and just patiently "leg press the floor away." This change really paid off because it helped me get the most out of the deadlift bar and made my lockouts a breeze.
I was worried about the back cramp during my third bench interfering with my deadlift, but as I started warming up, my back felt fine, however I was feeling that third squat in my right hamstring. Thankfully the pain subsided once I got warm again.

1. 215kg. Felt light, as it should have, like a last warmup. Not much else to say.
2. 230kg. My handler said "earn your third attempt!" I executed my setup and pull exactly like my first attempt and was surprised by how fast it broke the floor and how easy the lockout was. I heard someone say "that's a good hinge!"
3. 237.5kg. I almost went for 240 but kept it conservative because I was worried about my hamstring. I kinda regret holding back now. I took a couple extra seconds to build up a really hard brace before methodically executing my setup. Just as the bar passed my knees they shook a little, and the crowd started cheering for me, but the bar didn't slow down at all so I knew I had it in the bag for 9/9 and just felt ecstatic.

A spectator walked up to me afterward and gave me a really good compliment--he said my deadlifts looked like a hydraulic machine!

Next steps

Now that this meet's behind me, my main training priority will be getting my bench up. I'm going to reevaluate my approach to frequency, volume, specific vs. hypertrophy work, and my diet.
For squat, I think I'll continue doing pauses and maybe add tempo descent work or something to break my dive-bombing habit because I don't want to pull a hammy with a heavier weight at my next meet.
My deadlift feels locked in, so I'm not going to fix what isn't broken. I want to work in some RDLs in my offseason since I haven't done them in a while, but that's it.
There's another USPA meet at the same venue in late September which is kinda soon but I'm really tempted to do it so I can go in more confident, open a little higher, set some new meet PRs, and get my money's worth with this USPA membership. It's about 17 weeks away now so that's enough time to have a few weeks of offseason before another prep cycle.

I have a regular period with the exception of maybe being 1-2 days off. I have been tracking my period on the same app for 5 years. I should have gotten it on Wednesday, its now Sunday.
I had been cramping on and off from about Monday-Friday. I am no longer cramping and I haven't gotten my period. Today I went out for lunch with friends and picked up a 2-pack of pregnancy tests on the way home. I got the "early response" tests from CVS.
I took the test and it came out negative, but I'm worried I didn't do it properly. The instructions said to hold the test "under your stream of urine for 5 seconds". I tried to do this, but embarrassingly my stream is not straight and so I pulled the test away after 1 second and then tried again for another second... lol so a total of 2 seconds in the stream.
Does this matter all that much? Would that cause a negative test result? I also understand that taking the test using my first pee after waking up in the morning is more accurate. I have 1 more test left, should I take it tomorrow morning? Or should I wait a few more days and then try again? (unless of course, I get my period).
I also wonder if I could be pregnant but my hCG levels are too low? But I feel that almost 5 days after a missed period they'd be high enough.
Just looking for advice.

I'm going to go ahead and say it. I've grown bitter. And I don't know if it's me or the worlds I love.
For example, I became a Star Wars fan when I was 19 in 2016. Since then I've engaged with every aspect of the franchise: films, TV, Comics, books, games....you name it. I've found many, many stories in both the original EU and the New Canon to love. And one thing I noticed is that Star Wars as a franchise had its ebbs and flows over the years.
The Franchise kinda fizzled by the end of the 80s, but then the EU somewhat revived it in the 90s among die hard fans. Then the Prequels came along, and while they were highly divisive and criticized, there's no denying their financial success and cultural impact as they largely revived the Franchise among the general audience. Many kids were introduced to the saga through them, and they inspired a whole new wave of content for the Expanded Universe like the Clone Wars Multimedia Project.
And then The Clone Wars show came along. It wasn't initially well-received, but then became popular as it got better. However, many would say that the franchise wasn't in a good place by the time the sale came in. There were no movies, TCW wasn't exactly profitable and we were getting the Denningverse for post-RotJ books, a period that remains highly divisive. Stuff like Brian Wood's 2013 Star Wars comic also didn't help.
Then the Disney era came. And I personally divide it into two periods:

• The flow from (2015-2020): Like many people, I don't care for the sequel trilogy, and I even disliked it with some intensity for a while, but I've also enjoyed almost everything in this period. Rebels was my introduction to the saga, and it's probably my favorite Star Wars show right now despite its issues. Rogue One and Solo were both solid 7/10 films that more or less succeeded at what they set out to do. Not great, but good. I loved most of the comics by MARVEL, particularly those in the period after ANH. A lot of the newer books were also good, although much more limited in scope compared to the EU. And Fallen Order was an excellent game.

Then The Mandalorian came along and it felt great. It wasn't super deep or well-written, but it was fun and new and interesting and exciting. It was a low-stakes, bold new story in an era we were interested in. And it was nice to have the fandom united in liking it after the bitter discourse around the sequels.
2020 was pretty much the last decent year in my book. The comics relaunched to explore the post-TESB era, and the initial arcs were promising. The final season of TCW was mostly good, although a little disappointing. And Mando S2 was nice, with an amazing hype ending, although the cracks were starting to show as the series began connecting to other parts of the franchise.
The ebb from (2020-now): To me, this is an era marked by aggressive mediocrity. No films were made. Shows like *Book of Boba Fett, The Mandalorian S3 and Ahsoka....missed the mark for me and made me lose interest in the 'mandoverse' for a variety of reasons. I disliked Obi-Wan Kenobi overall. The Bad Batch was a good kids show, and a decent Star Wars story, but a step down from Rebels/late TCW in my book. The Tales of the Jedi/Empire were mildly entertaining nothing burgers for the most part, as they didn't have the room to tell stories and often ended up being too ambitious for their own good.
Even the comics took a sharp nosedive and became borderline unreadable for the most part thanks to MARVEL's milking and Charles Soule's mediocrity. And the books? Most of them were dedicated to The High Republic, an era that doesn't interest me because I don't care for any of the authors working on it. Andor was petty much the one bright light as a very good show that is probably the best of Star Wars live-action TV.
Looking to the upcoming slate, I'm shocked Andor season 2 is literally the only thing I'm interested in at the moment, and I certainly have no interest in The Acolyte or Rey's film or anything else. I've frankly grown bitter towards modern Lucasfilm. The post-RotJ era is poisoned because it leads to the sequels. The original heroes are generally neglected in every way that matters in new canon because Lucasfilm doesn't know what to do with them. Even The Mandoverse no longer interests me after mediocre entries.
Another example is The MCU, which I started watching in 2017. For a while, it was touted as everything Star Wars should've been. And like many, I felt that things went downhill after Endgame. I enjoyed many projects in phases 4/5 to various levels, mind you, and some I even thought were great. but there have been some entires that I actively disliked with intensity, while the Infinity Saga was meh at its weakest projects for me. Overall, It feels like there's little direction at the moment. And with my favorite heroes either gone or saddled with terrible sequels, I found myself losing interest in that verse as well. Spider-Man 4 and Daredevil: Born Again are pretty much the only projects I'm interested in at the moment.
Even in the comics, I realized that Spider-Man comics became a source of bitterness to me because of the post-OMD period. BND/Slott weren't for me because it was a direction I fundamentally resented. Spencer's run brought me back with a ray of hope, but it kept getting worse and the ending was terrible. Beyond was mediocre, and then....I don't really need to talk about the Wells run.
I realized that I need to probably let go of my favorite hero for good. Because the editorial is fundamentally against what I love about him. Even if the next run was serviceable, we'll probably get another Wells after it. Because these people thrive on rage bait and antagonizing a sizable portion of their audience.
Add all the horrible discourse online, where simply saying you're not interested in something can get stans to attack you, and I've grown beyond bitter. I realize that what used to bring me joy, no longer does. And it hurts.
Sorry for the "Dear Diary-esque" rant. I guess I needed to vent for some reason.

Title: The Power of "." - Embracing the Unknown
Hey fellow Redditors,
I've been mulling over an interesting thought lately — the enigmatic power of "." (period, for those who missed it). While seemingly simplistic, this little punctuation mark possesses a depth and significance that often goes unnoticed. Join me in exploring the mysteries behind the humble dot and how it shapes our lives in unexpected ways.
Here are some reflections to ponder:
• A Delicate Pause: In a world of constant noise and fast-paced interactions, the "." provides a momentary pause for reflection. It invites us to take a breath and truly process what we've just said or read. There's a beauty in this silence, a chance for thoughts to unfurl and connections to form.
• The Spark of Imagination: Within the small confines of punctuation lies room for limitless interpretation. "." can be equivocal and poetic, enticing our minds to wander. Encountering a period at the end of an unfinished story or thought sparks our imagination, filling in the blanks with our own unique tales.
• An Open Invitation: "." acts as an invitation to engage in conversation. It signals that there is more to be said, more thoughts to be shared. By placing a period at the end of a statement, we communicate that we are open to discussion, willing to let others contribute and expand upon our ideas.
• Embracing Uncertainty: "." reminds us that the world is brimming with countless uncertainties waiting to be explored. Instead of fearing the unknown, we can embrace it. Each dot opens a multitude of doors, urging us to delve into uncharted territories, expand our horizons, and discover new knowledge.
• A Pilgrimage of Self: The power of "." paves the way for personal growth. It prompts us to confront our limitations, question our beliefs, and seek enlightenment. The journey of self-discovery often begins with a single dot, urging us to ponder what lies beyond our current understanding.
In conclusion, while seemingly insignificant, "." harbors a profound impact. It signifies the potential in the stillness, an open invitation to dive deeper into the mysteries of life. Let's embrace the beauty and allure of this unassuming punctuation mark, and who knows, it may guide us to uncover truths we never knew we sought.
What are your thoughts on this contemplation, my fellow Redditors? Share your musings and let's dive into the wonders of "." together.
TL;DR: The simplicity of the "." hides its true power – a pause for reflection, an invitation for engagement, and a gateway to the unknown. Embrace the mysteries behind this small punctuation mark and join the journey of self-discovery it offers. What do you think?

NB: If you prefer to read this article from Google Docs, with embedded Scryfall card images, follow this link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ipGx-NpPmVbRfnmiNpMlB4V6YA341UuZrBYQFSyyHrE/edit

INTRO

Hello! My name is GlosuU (https://x.com/GlosuUMTG). I'm a Limited MTG enthusiast with a humble portfolio: I qualified for and participated in the AC4 and AC5, and will be participating in PT Amsterdam at the end of June. In the AC5 I teamed up with Ryan Condon (AC5 runner-up) and Ethan Saks (Lord Tupperware), all 3 of us bringing Quintorius Combo as our Explorer deck of choice for the AC5. I was in a feature match versus the AC5 champ, Toni Ramis Pascual, where I lost my win-and-in to the top 8, and ended 12th out of 32. You might also know me for the "Ode to WAR'' article that I wrote and posted when WAR came as a flashback format some months ago: https://www.reddit.com/lrcast/comments/1bhpxb2/an\_ode\_to\_war\_of\_the\_spark/ . I'm not a content creator, but I do produce some stuff here and there when I feel like it (deep analysis of my AC5 matches are posted in my YouTube channel, I had Ryan Condon analyze them together with me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhdl85xrunw&list=PLtfDMdAYlZqlVE-Bo_Gh5FsxujrFTEUyK&ab_channel=GlosuUMTG ). With my "credentials'' out of the way, I'm back with a new article, this time to praise IKO! We are getting IKO Premier Drafts on MTGA this Tuesday, so hopefully I can get you excited!
Disclaimer: WAR was my favorite set when I wrote the previous article, and I have to admit the flashback on Arena soured my experience of it a bit (Grixis colors were too open in the pods I felt, and the vanilla creatures in WAR stood out like a sore thumb compared to the FIRE ones). IKO is an all-timer for me and I'm really hoping the cycling deck will not be consistently open in the flashback pods, because that would be a bummer… Regardless, I do truly believe that WAR and IKO are amazing sets, and I hope I can convince you to love IKO in the same way I do, similarly to how I tried to convince you to love WAR!

My 17L tier list

If tier lists are your thing, I have no problem sharing mine with you: https://www.17lands.com/tier_list/dfdd3d0c69664a0b8ffbd7372848ab5f
NOTE: creating the tier list for IKO felt more difficult than for WAR. There are a LOT of cards that are contextually powerful, and it was hard to decide for me if I would P1P1 a Fire Prophecy (floor is extremely high, ceiling is pretty good too) or a Chevill (ceiling much higher, but gold card). Still, I did my best.

IKORIA: Lair of Behemoths setting

The main theme that inspired the IKO setting was giant monsters (Godzilla, King Kong, Mothra… you name it). Many of the mythics and rares had some silly Godzilla alt-arts, so if you are a fan of this genre, do NOT skip this set! The flashy new mechanic for the set was Mutate, which has some complex rules, but did its best to capture the flavor of beasts and creatures mutating into scary abominations. In opposition to the giant, wild monsters are the nimble humans that need to group together to stand a chance. Now, whenever the MTG team tries to design a battlecruiser-like format (giant creatures clashing with each other), it has been very difficult for them to balance it well for sweaty spikes. Most recently, we had BRO, where the theme was supposed to be giant robot machines clashing with each other, but the Prototype mechanic flopped really hard, and playing small, dinky creatures and getting value with Unearth was the way to go. Similarly, Mutate pales in comparison to the small humans and the cycling strategies, but I'm happy to say that it's still a viable strategy if open, it is much better than Prototype in BRO!
The set was also designed with wedges in mind (3 color combinations where one color and its enemy colors are present), but it was NOT marketed as a 3 color set. The big support is for the enemy color pairs, allied color pairs are just lightly supported with keyword themes. Do not expect to draft 3-color decks constantly like in KTK, but do expect to draft enemy color pairs (with and without splash) frequently. Colors are a bit loose in IKO anyway, since the focus is on archetypes and synergies.

MECHANICS

I. Cycling (and the Tier 0 RW cycling deck)

Let's start with the elephant in the room: the infamous cycling deck. MTG, as a card game, has variance baked in, especially with the mana (lands) system. The designers have made some mechanics that feel really good to play with because they smooth out your draws. For example: scrying, looting and… yes, cycling. Topdecked a useless card? Well, it's a great feeling to pitch it to redraw another card. Ask those who played with Blood tokens in VOW. Cycling has made its appearance here and there, and they made it a big part of IKO. But… they went overboard with it in this set. Not only did they design plenty and powerful cycling payoffs (which… honestly, does cycling need payoffs? Cycling is just a good mechanic, period, why does it need payoffs?), but they also put cycling in a lot of cards and, most importantly, they put SINGLE COLORLESS cycling in a lot of cards. This means that a dedicated RW cycling deck could be running an uncastable Memory Leak and still be stoked about it, because you don't ever have to cast the card, you just need to cycle it to trigger all the payoffs. Also for some reason many of the cycling payoffs have cycling themselves, so it's a no brainer to include them in your deck (sometimes you have to balance the amount of payoffs and enablers, for example the Chalk Outline/Insiduous Roots decks in MKM, but with cycling it's just easy mode). And yeah. Then there's Zenith Flare. Which is an uncommon. Which is easy to find in most games because cycling decks churn through their library fast. And they will dome you for 10 and you'll be left scratching your head. My personal rule to keep my sanity: assume the opposing cycling deck has only one Zenith Flare. If I die to a second Zenith Flare, I usually consider it a non-game, one of those you can't really do much about (like a deck with multiple bombs in OTJ).
Now, everything I said sounds dull and gloomy. And I'm sure that the designers would probably add a color requirement to the "Cycling 1" cards in hindsight, maybe make Zenith Flare a rare (or heck, a mythic). Nowadays they would probably make the triggered abilities trigger only once per turn. But… there's also good news! Personally, I think playing with and against cycling decks is FUN (especially if it's not a broken cycling deck, but a reasonable one). Cycling decks play like combo decks, where you try to set up during the first 3 turns of the game, and then watch the fireworks from turns 4+. Opponents can disrupt the key pieces, build their decks to counter the cycling plan (hello, lifegain!), and, most importantly, often cycling decks lose to themselves. Excusez-moi? Yes, you heard right. Because cycling decks skimp on lands (more on that in a sec), sometimes they will have an opener of 2 lands, 1 payoff and 4 cycling cards. That's a keep, but it's very beatable if the opponent answers the only payoff, and then the cycling deck cycles and cycles endlessly to find lands while falling behind on tempo on board. Cycling decks also mulligan badly, because one less card in hand means the cycling chain is more likely to brick. In a way, I feel like cycling decks are overall balanced in the format (!), as long as cycling is contested in the draft pods (as it should be!) and as long as non-cycling decks also pick cycling cards in their colors highly! You're in B? Please don't let that Memory Leak wheel! It's a good card in your deck too!
So why do cycling decks cut lands? I'm a big fan of Opt/Consider effects in Limited MTG. Increasing the consistency of your deck for a measly single mana draws you to your good cards more often and it also means less mana screw and flood. My general rule of thumb is that I cut one land every 2 Opts I have in my deck, as long as I don't go below 9 blue sources. Now, "cycling 1" cards don't scry like Opt, but they cantrip all the same. The general rule of thumb is to cut one land for every three "cycling 1" cards you have in your deck. And how low can you go? Some psychos have gone down to 12 lands, although I generally do like to have at least 13-14 lands. But if you run 17 lands in your dedicated cycling deck, you're gonna flood out A LOT. Enjoy cutting lands in your Limited decks for no reason? Try out IKO! 🙂

II. Companions

From controversial deck to controversial mechanic: Companions! Only 10 IKO cards had this mechanic, and they were all rares… how impactful could it have been? Well, so impactful that Constructed formats were broken in half and WotC had to errata the mechanic: to cast a Companion from the sideboard, you first had to pay 3 at sorcery speed to put it in hand. Drannith Magistrate, the Companion hate card, was left looking silly. Turns out that getting an extra card in your opener, a card you also had built around, was one way to break the game. While Companions were really bad for Constructed, they were AMAZING for Limited. Why? Because picking up one early and building around it made for very unique drafts! Many desirable cards would need to be foregone to meet the companion requirement, whereas other less desirable cards suddenly skyrocketed in your pick order. And who hasn't built around one sweet rare only to never draw it and your otherwise sketchy deck go 0-3, all your dreams crushed? Companions fixed that, since you built around them and you always had access to them. Some were more powerful (ahem Lurrus, Gyruda), others were usually not worth it to companion them (Yorion, Zirda…), but regardless they were all high picks because even in the maindeck they were great (and balancing the tension whether to companion them or maindeck them was really skill testing). Companions came back in the bonus sheet in MOM and they were as fun as they had been in IKO, leaving many of us wishing that they would come back more often, because they really improve the draft format they are in. I personally would also love for WotC to print new companions, but of course seeing how they broke Constructed in half, they probably would need to be super careful about them. 🙁 WotC, if you're reading this: bring more Companions!
Ethan Saks (aka Lord Tupperware) is quite well-known for his love of Companions, so if you want a deeper dive on them and what makes each of them tick, here's a video you can watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmmOWYVAzbw&ab_channel=LordsofLimited (DISCLAIMER: this video is for the Companions in MOM, not IKO, but most of the stuff still applies)

III. Mutate (and the UG Mutate deck)

Mutate was the new flashy mechanic for IKO and supposed to charm the Timmy players out there by voltroning a creature and creating an unfathomable monster. Mutate creatures can be found in every color, but are most prevalent in U and G, where there's also payoffs for mutating. In essence, a creature with Mutate could behave like an Aura on an existing creature (keeping the stats of one of the two creatures plus all the abilities of both creatures) or a creature by itself. While you can't blow out a creature mutating onto another on the stack (killing the creature on the battlefield means the creature on the stack still resolves as a standalone creature), putting two creatures together does mean a big tempo swing if the opponent removes the mutated stack. For example, playing a Thieving Otter on T3, then mutating a Dreamtail Heron on top of it on T4 and getting in, drawing 2 cards… All of that sounded mouthwatering great in spoiler season (a flying Scroll Thief? Who doesn't like that?). But, when you assembled that in a game, and the opponent then removed the mutated creature, that meant that with one single spell they had removed both your T3 and T4 plays, so even though you had accrued card advantage, you could be very behind on board.
Was Mutate as bad as Prototype in BRO? Thankfully not! If open, a good UG Mutate could be a great deck, and stacking mutates on top of each other, each of them accruing incremental value, was a lot of fun when it worked. In essence, Mutate decks were A + B decks, with a good balance of A and B (A = 1-2 mana creatures you were happy to Mutate on, e.g. Essence Symbiote, Pollywog Symbiote; B = mutate creatures, preferably strong ones like Archipelagore or Auspicious Starrix). Playing a mutate payoff on T2 followed by a mutated Migratory Rendhorn on T3 was key to ramping, fixing and getting on good footing in the game (since you would also splash some powerful Mutate rares in other colors usually). Since A + B was so tight and you'd rather not include stuff that wasn't one or the other in your deck (to improve consistency), ideally your interaction would come in the form of Pouncing Shoresharks. But you'd still usually squeeze some space for some removal.
Mutate cards are also not unplayable outside of UG, but be mindful of how many non-human creatures you have in your deck and what creatures you are happy mutating on top of. Forbidden Friendship was great at providing some Mutate fodder in non-UG decks, for example, and you would be happy mutating a Cloudpiercer on top of it on T4 (you got a mana discount and a hasty 5/4 rummager, sweet!). BTW, do not confuse Forbidden Friendship with Cathartic Reunion, the arts on those cards are too similar!

IV. Keyword Counters

IKO was the first time that we got keyword counters. Apart from mutating, you could still build monsters by giving your creatures extra keywords. Some IKO tricks look like traditional tricks we see in Limited, but the counter hanging around can be quite important! For example, Unexpected Fangs creating a big lifelinker could be game-swinging. Be mindful of these tricks when having a Heartless Act in your deck, since you can get blown out very easily if they respond by giving a counter to their creature, and your removal will fizzle. Also, always roll Hexproof counter on a T3 Crystalline Giant - if you don't, you need to get better at MTG! (thank goodness Covid was around when IKO came out, imagine Giant in a paper MTG game)

FORMAT OVERVIEW

There's tons of draft guides out there, so I'll try to keep this brief. We already mentioned that a nuts RW cycling deck can be considered Tier 0. A reasonable RW cycling deck is still Tier 1-2, so it's definitely worth getting into if you get enough of the good cycling payoffs. UG Mutate is like Tier 2-3, so what other decks are out there?

I. Tier 1: Black, Humans and the Mardu Wedge

When cycling is not absurdly open, I have a strong bias to end up in a Mardu-esque deck (any of the color pairs, with or without splash). I love B in this set, even though it's not a cycling color. IKO has my favorite common ever printed: Bushmeat Poacher! The card doesn't look super strong at first glance, and 4 mana for a 2/4 is quite bad these days but… it resists a Fire Prophecy, for starters. And once you see the card in action on the opposite side of the battlefield, you're going to understand how ANNOYING it is. You'd be surprised how often the engine of Durable Coilbug + Bushmeat Poacher can grind out games in this format. Block, sac, gain life, draw cards, rinse, repeat. Honestly, it's as annoying as Cauldron Familiar in Constructed or Lampad of Death's Vigil in THB. And let me remind you that you gain life equal to the creature's toughness. Wanna remove my Honey Mammoth? Well, that will cost you your removal spell, and I gain 6 life and a card, thank you very much! One of the things I enjoy most in Limited is making opponent's removal look bad, and boy, oh boy, does Bushmeat Poacher do that!
So yeah Poacher might be my favorite common, but B has even better stuff to offer with Blood Curdle (that menace counter is super relevant) and Whisper Squad (which also combos nicely with Poacher). And Memory Leak should be taken as a great B common, I've mentioned this already.
Mardu decks can be built in a myriad of ways and synergies. There's the straight forward Human go-wide and pump your team theme out there. There's sac synergies. There's go-wide Mutate synergies: Forbidden Friendship is a premium R common in most R decks except for dedicated RW cycling decks ("Rally at the Hornburg"-lite is still very good!), and then you have stuff like Regal Leosaur. There's menace + removal synergies… And you have some sweet buildarounds like Weaponize the Monsters, Bastion of Remembrance and Offspring's Revenge. All in all, I love getting into Mardu decks in this format, and the aristocrats gameplay speaks to my heart.

II Tier 2: BG Reanimate, UR spell matters, Ultimatum decks

BG Reanimate is probably my favorite deck of the format. If I start B, and then see Mardu being contested (as it should), but G dummies coming to me, I'm very happy to jump into BG. We've seen that Back For More is still great in OTJ, but whereas in that set you only have Spinewoods Armadillo to easily combo with it, this set has several big dumb uncommons that cycle. Back For More is even better here in IKO! Getting back a Tytanoth Rex with it can usually net you a 3-for-1 (fight something and ambush something in combat, Rex still surviving). It is also the perfect home for Honey Mammoth (that card was a surprising overperformer back in the day, since then we know how good this style of cards can be for G decks looking to stabilize and turn the corner). Also, Bushmeat Poacher gaining you tons of life when opponents try to remove your big dummy creatures is very satisfying.
UR spells can also be powerful when open. Sprite Dragon can get out of hand quickly, and T3 sequencing Forbidden Friendship into Of One Mind feels super good. A key roleplayer for the deck is Spelleater Wolverine, and PSA: you can meet the condition by cycling instants and sorceries to the GY too, no need to actually cast them! Wolverine can fit other decks too if you get a good amount of instants and sorceries (e.g. in Rakdos with cycling and removal spells). I'm not super high on U in the format and thus don't get into UR spells often, but if you start R and U flows, it's a possible path to get into. There are also UJeskai cycling decks with Ominous Seas as the payoff.
Finally, a word on the Ultimatums: they are more powerful than they look! With the exception of Emergent Ultimatum (which has an important failcase: drawing your single-color big spells before it), resolving any of them in the late game will often put you in a winning position. Think of them a bit like Cruel Ultimatum in OTJ: fun cards to draft early and build towards the late game, prioritizing the dual lands in order to cast them.

III Tier 3: Allied color pairs/Keyword decks

With the exception of RB, which is a good deck, all other allied color pairs feel weaker. UB Flash and UW flyers can be a thing if you draft the rares that support them, but don't expect them to be super powerful. I do want to mention the WG Vigilance deck, because it is one of the counters to the cycling deck. Get a couple Alert Heedbonders, put some big butts on the board and laugh at your opponent trying to Zenith Flare your face when you're at 40 life! 2/4 also survives Fire Prophecy, so cycling decks often have to point a Flare to one of the Heedbonders, which is sweet! RG Trample is not really a deck, if you see the RG rare, it's a good card, but you can just splash it in any G deck. Beware also of the Wedge buildaround enchantments at rare, except for Offspring's Revenge, they are all generally quite bad!

SAMPLE DRAFTS AND TROPHIES

It has not been easy to get "clean" 17L trophy logs: 17L was in infant stage when IKO was the main format, so no game replays back then, and during the IKO flashbacks Arena pushed some log updates that made 17L struggle to log everything correctly. Still, thanks to some friends, I have gathered a few:
TROPHY 1 (courtesy of Sheesh): https://www.17lands.com/draft/263832207ed749b7947e7a40149f7380 - a typical RW cycling trophy
TROPHY 2: https://www.17lands.com/deck/ac08eb9f76874eafb67c4e201a5bb21e/1 - Lurrus Companion (this quick draft trophy got me into Mythic for the first time back in the day!)
TROPHY 3 (courtesy of TripleB): https://www.17lands.com/deck/c7fb935d7ac443b4bb895f43622accc7 - BW Humans, some games missing
TROPHY 4: https://www.17lands.com/draft/19b4a66cbec5484d8d3b0acd54f61787 - Golgari Reanimate/grind, sadly only shows the first two games
TROPHY 5 (courtesy of TripleB): https://www.17lands.com/deck/d0d77324997f45478a7b853067a0f438 - UR spells/mutate, no game replays available since it was a Traditional Draft from when IKO was the main format
TROPHY 6: https://www.17lands.com/deck/96ffb9ab71144753bb87496e33e32545/1 - UB Flash/Mutate, also a Trad Draft

CLOSING THOUGHTS

While I think I covered most of the format, I feel that there's a lot of things I didn't have space to cover. I truly believe that this format plays and feels amazingly well, just as long as the RW cycling deck is contested enough. Sweet buildarounds, companions, all-in synergies, Mutate, and a load of other nonsense. This is a Dave Humphreys set you really don't want to miss! I am stoked to spam it and (hopefully) see it hold up after all these years!

This week’s vintage batch features black hard rubber pens from three of the Big Four American Makers of the 1910s-20s. Nibs range from Flex to Wet Noodle. As always, all are fully restored and ready to write.
 
ALBUM & TIMESTAMP
 
Pastable link: https://imgur.com/a/R5fpCKe
 
Condition (n.b.): All pens listed below have been disassembled, cleaned and restored with new sacs installed in the last couple weeks. Each of these pens is guaranteed to fill and write as designed without leaks or other problems. Nibs have been adjusted when necessary to ensure that all lay down a smooth and consistent line.
THESE PENS HAVE NO CRACKS, CHIPS, PERSONALIZATIONS, LOOSE OR MISSING PARTS, BENT NIBS, MISALIGNED TINES, BROKEN/WORN OFF TIPPING, OR THREADING ISSUES.
 
Line Widths and Writing Samples: To provide buyers with as much information as possible, I have started to adopt the following line width standards: XXF (.1-.2mm); XF (approx .3mm); F (approx .4mm); M (approx .6mm); B (approx .8mm). Nib flexibility is determined by variation (max line width under pressure) and softness (amount of pressure). Flexibility designations based on variation generally run as follows for an XF/F nib: Semi-Flex (approx. 1mm); Flex (1.2-1.9mm); Superflex (>2mm). All line width measurements are taken with a digital caliper but should be considered approximations providing a general guide. Width may vary slightly depending on type of ink and paper used as well as amount of pressure applied. All writing samples are on Rhodia dot paper using Waterman Serenity Blue.
 
 
1. 1920s Waterman 92 1/2 (BCHR, GPT, lever filler, 14k XF Flex nib). This slender (1/2-sized) model is longer than a ring top but slightly shorter than a 52, measuring 4 3/4” capped and 6” posted. Not to be confused with the later, celluloid 92, this 92 1/2 is made of black chased hard rubber with gold-plated trim. It’s the first I’ve ever encountered. Cap came clipless from the factory (no holes drilled for a clip), but has been outfitted with a gold-plated accommodation clip. Based on its absence from US catalogues, I believe this model was made strictly for foreign export. The barrel has a Canadian imprint while the nib reads “Ideal / England,” it being a common practice for Waterman’s Canadian pens to be finished in England. That 14k nib is a Flexible writer (note change from writing sample after taking measurement. It lays down a smooth and consistent XF line that widens to a 3B+ (approx 1.8mm) under moderate pressure (see WRITING SAMPLE). Thin hairlines and reliable flow over its full range of flex make it a great choice for shaded writing. Condition: fine [C]. This pen has no functional flaws but does show some use. Hard rubber is an even dark chocolate color – still much darker than the brown these can turn. Chasing is significantly yet evenly weakened across the cap and barrel. Hard rubber surface is smooth with no deep scratches or other notable blemishes. Gold-plating on the lever has a sliver of brassing in the center and parts of the clip look tarnished, though I’m not sure this amounts to full-fledged brassing. Manufacturer imprint on barrel and number stamp on barrel end are weakened but fully legible. An affordable user and a lovely writer for those wondering at what all the fuss is about early Watermans. Price: $150
 
2. 1910s Waterman 12 Eyedropper (BCHR, German Silver clip, eyedropper filler, 14k F Superflex nib). This full-sized model measures 5 1/8” capped. This slip-cap eyedropper is made of black chased hard rubber with a rivet clip marked “German Silver” – less common than the standard nickel clips. This pen is an eyedropper. The section unscrews for the barrel to filled using an eyedroppepipette – holds far more ink than a lever filler of the same size. My usual caveats about early eyedroppers apply here. If carried, it is not uncommon to find a little ink on the nib or in the cap. Super-Flexible 14k Ideal NY #2 nib lays down a smooth and consistent F line that widens to a 4B+ (approx 2.5mm) under light pressure (see WRITING SAMPLE). Easy variation and reliably wet flow over its full range of flex make it a great choice for calligraphic writing styles such as Copperplate and Spencerian. Condition: excellent- [B-]. Hard rubber of the cap is dark black with virtually no fading but center of barrel shows fading to dark chocolate under certain lights. Chasing on cap is sharp and deep but barrel chasing is very light and only visible when the light strikes it. German Silver clip is pristine with no brassing or other notable wear. Hard rubber surface is smooth with no deep scratches or other notable blemishes. Manufacturer imprint on barrel is weak but mostly legible while number stamp on barrel-end is all but worn away. Price: $190 [ON HOLD]
 
3. c.1918 Waterman 52 (BCHR, NPT w/ Sterling Silver clip, lever filler, 14k XXF Needlepoint Superflex nib). This full-sized model measures 5 5/16” capped. A nice example of Waterman’s celebrated workhorse made of black chased hard rubber with a sterling silver Ideal accommodation clip with “Waterman’s / Made in France” stamped on one side and a hallmark that reads “GP” on the other side (DETAIL PHOTO). This pen came clipless from the factory (no holes drilled for a rivet clip). Super-Flexible 14k Ideal NY #2 nib has a needlepoint width and superb snap-back that gives it a surgically precise feel when writing. It lays down a smooth and consistent XXF line that widens to a 4B+ (approx 2.2mm) under light pressure (see WRITING SAMPLE). Insanely responsive snap-back, needlepoint hairlines, and reliable flow over its full range of flex make it another excellent choice for calligraphic writing styles such as Copperplate and Spencerian. Condition: excellent [B]. Hard rubber retains its dark black color with virtually no fading. Chasing is weakened a bit yet readily visible over the cap and barrel. Hard rubber surface is smooth with no deep scratches or other notable blemishes. Manufacturer imprint on barrel is quite weak and only partly legible while number stamp on barrel-end is deep and fully legible. Price: $260 SOLD
 
4. c.1918 Waterman 52 in Box (BCHR, NPT, lever filler, 14k M/B Superflex Factory Stub nib). This full-sized model measures 5 5/16” capped. This pen comes in its original factory box with 5-page pamphlet including care and filling instructions as well as other offerings from Waterman (BOX PHOTO). It’s a clean 52 made of black chased hard rubber with nickel-plated trim including earlier, wide rivet clip. 14k Ideal #2 nib is a Super-Flexible Factory Stub that manages to deliver sharp unflexed variation without compromising smoothness. Under normal pressure it lays down a smooth and consistent M/B line (approx .7mm) on the down-strokes and XF line on the cross-strokes. And the line widens to a 4B+ (approx 2.0mm) under light pressure (see WRITING SAMPLE – note change in flex grade after measuring). A versatile nib whose responsive snap-back, easy variation, and reliable flow over its full range of flex make it well suited to shaded notes under normal pressure and calligraphic writing styles under flex, the Stub grind keeping one’s letterforms neat and straight. Condition: excellent+ [B+]. This pen and the one below came from an estate of someone who seems to have purchased these pens, wrote with them a few times, then stowed them away in their boxes. This one is definitely collector-grade, having seen very little use. Hard rubber retains its dark black color with no discernible fading. Chasing is evenly sharp and crisp. Hard rubber surface is smooth with no deep scratches or other notable blemishes. Manufacturer imprint on barrel and number stamp on barrel-end are deep and fully legible. Box is in sound condition with no torn ends but original owner managed somehow to burn a couple small holes in the paperwork. A boxed 52 with an uncommon nib in uncommonly clean condition. Price: $310 SOLD
 
5. c.1918 Waterman 55 in Box (BCHR, NPT, lever filler, 14k XF Flex/Superflex nib). This oversized model has a thick girth and measures 5 1/2” capped. This pen comes in its original factory box with 5-page pamphlet including care and filling instructions as well as other offerings from Waterman (BOX PHOTO). This pen is made of black chased hard rubber with nickel-plated trim including earlier, wide rivet clip. Commensurably oversized Ideal NY #5 nib yields Super-Flexible variation with Flexible softness. It lays down a smooth and consistent XF line that widens to a 4B+ (approx 2.1mm) under moderate pressure (see WRITING SAMPLE – note change in flex grade after measuring). Condition: excellent+/near mint [B+]. This pen came from the same estate as the 52 above and also resembles an artifact of a time capsule. Hard rubber retains its factory black color with no discernible fading. Chasing is factory sharp and crisp. Hard rubber surface is smooth with no deep scratches or other notable blemishes. Manufacturer imprint on barrel and number stamp on barrel-end are deep and fully legible. Box is in sound condition with no torn ends but original owner managed somehow to burn some small holes in the paperwork for this one as well. These big fellas are getting tougher to find, especially in this condition. Price: $440 SOLD
 
6. c.1921 Wahl Pen 72 (BCHR, NPT, lever filler, 14k XXF Superflex nib). This standard sized model measures 5 3/16” capped. Having purchased the assets of the Boston Fountain Pen Company, Wahl began manufacturing fountain pens in 1917. Wahl’s first pens were essentially rebranded Bostons and Tempoints (a NY company they acquired in 1918). The first full-fledged Wahls, dubbed simply “The Wahl Pen,” rolled off out of the factory in 1921. This 72 one of those pens. Its’s made of black chased hard rubber complemented by nickel-plated trim including Wahl’s patented roller-clip. The Wahl Pen is chiefly distinguished from earlier designs by its patented Wahl lever with apexed center. Super-Flexible 14k Wahl Pen #2 nib is a lovely writer. It lays down a smooth and consistent XF line that widens to a 4B+ (approx 2.4mm) under light pressure (see WRITING SAMPLE). Needlepoint hairlines, superbly responsive snap-back, and reliable flow over its full range of flex make it another great choice for calligraphic writing styles. Condition: excellent/near mint [B+]. Hard rubber retains its factory black color with virtually no fading/oxidation. Chasing is factory deep and crisp with no discernible wear. Surface is smooth and lustrous with no deep scratches or other notable blemishes. Nickel-plated trim is exceptionally clean with no brassing or other noteworthy blemishes apart from light scratching to the clip. Manufacturer imprint on barrel and number stamp on barrel-end are deep and fully legible. Price: $280
 
7. 1910s Parker Lucky Curve 20 (smooth BHR, eyedropper filler, 14k XF/F Superflex/Wet Noodle nib). This full-sized model measures 5 5/16” capped. Parker collectors know all too well how much harder it is to find early Parker eyedroppers compared to say, Waterman 12s. This simple, utilitarian Lucky Curve eyedropper from the early teens is made of smooth, black hard rubber. Slip cap came clipless from the factory (no holes drilled for a clip). Long Lucky Curve feed is intact. This pen is an eyedropper. The section unscrews for the barrel to filled using an eyedroppepipette – holds far more ink than a lever filler of the same size. My usual caveats about early eyedroppers apply here. If carried, it is not uncommon to find a little ink on the nib or in the cap. Early 14k Lucky Curve #2 nib with teardrop breather hole yields Super-Flexible variation with softness and flow verging on that of a Wet Noodle (comparable to a soft dip pen nib). It lays down a smooth and consistent XF/F line that widens to a 4B+ (approx 2.4mm) under very light pressure (see WRITING SAMPLE). Thin hairlines with a light hand, strong snap-back, and reliable flow over its full range of flex make it another great choice for calligraphic writing styles such as Copperplate and Spencerian. Condition: excellent [B]. Black hard rubber retains its factory black color apart from minor fading to a deep, dark brown on the barrel visible under certain lights. Surface is smooth and lustrous with no deep scratches or other notable blemishes aside from a group of short scratches to the left of the imprint (see imprints photo). Nib shows a small scuff here and there and a scratch on one tine that has no effect on durability or performance. Manufacturer imprint on barrel and number stamp on barrel-end are deep and fully legible. A lovely writer and the first example of one of these I’ve ever offered. Price: $270 SOLD
 
8. c.1915 Parker 16 Overlay (gold-filled over BHR, button filler, 14k XF Wet Noodle nib). Measures 4 5/8" capped and 6” posted. While Waterman overlays of this period aren't particularly common, they're far more numerous than their Parker counterparts today. Parker overlays like this one were commissioned to the George W. Heath company in New York, who is credited for some of the finer overlays on early Watermans and Conklins as well. The gold-filled filigree over this black hard rubber ringtop features an exquisitely hand-engraved Art Nouveau pattern as well as an indicia on the barrel for engraving. The pattern is the earlier, more intricate design that's more sought after than the simpler Art Deco pattern of the later 1910s-20s. Barrel overlay is stamped "Parker Fountain Pen" along with patent dates from 1891 and 1905. Pen has an Xmas tree, Lucky Curve feed and knurled blindcap unscrews to reveal brass button for filling. To fill, one simply unscrews the blind cap, submerses the nib, and depresses the brass button once. The fine workmanship of this pen is complemented by an early 14k Lucky Curve #3 nib, a scarce “Lazy S” variant with long tines. The nib is a Wet Noodle with softness, variation, and flow comparable to that of a dip pen nib. It lays down a smooth and consistent XF line that widens to a 4B+ (approx 2.5mm) under minimal pressure (see WRITING SAMPLE). Another nib with astonishingly responsive snap-back giving it a precision feel and you maximum control over the line. Together with its thin hairlines and reliable flow over its full range of flex, this makes for an ideal choice for calligraphic writing styles. Condition: excellent+ [B+]. Overlay shows no brassing, dents, or other notable flaws aside from some pin-sized dings confined to the knurled portion around the top of the cap. Hard rubber retains its dark black color with scarcely any fading. Knurling of blind cap isn’t quite as sharp as it once was and number stamp on barrel-end is faint but legible under bright light. Manufacturer imprint on barrel is deep and fully legible. Price: $380 SOLD
 
 
 
Shipping: Pens purchased on the weekend are mailed on Tuesday. Otherwise they are mailed within 2 business days of payment. All pens that do not come with their original boxes are packaged in PVC or thick plastic tubes to protect them in transit. To CONUS locations the following shipping options are available:

• USPS First-Class with tracking for $5 Due to the delivery delays that continue under postmaster general DeJoy, I strongly recommend that the Priority shipping option be chosen. All packages will include full insurance (covered by me). Rest assured that a full refund is guaranteed (issued through Paypal) in the event of a lost parcel and you will not have to wait until I receive a reimbursement from the USPS.
  
• USPS Priority with tracking for $9
  

International Customers: Please contact me for shipping quote if located abroad (delivery confirmation required). (Note: due to the issues stated above, my international shipping options are currently limited. PM for more info). Please do not ask me to commit mail fraud by altering the declared value of a pen for customs. Not only am I registered as a business but shipping insurance is based on declared value.
New York Customers: For tax purposes, I am now required to add an 8% sales tax on any sale made in the state of NY. If your shipping address is in NY state, please let me know before payment to receive an adjusted total. Discounted shipping is included for NY State residents to help defray the extra cost.
Ordering: Pens are placed on hold for the first person to reply to the thread and PM me with firm request to purchase (no chat DMs please). A request with the words “I'd like to purchase [pen number]” would be best to avoid confusion), to which I’ll reply with payment details. Please note that a message inquiring into a price discount does not suffice to place a pen on hold. If I haven't received Paypal payment within 24 hrs after a hold is placed, then pen(s) may become available to the next person.
Payment, & Guarantee: Payment by Paypal only. All pens are guaranteed to be in the condition in which I've described them. If I've missed something objectionable or the filling mechanism is not fully functional, the buyer may contact me up to 7 days after receiving the pen for a full refund (issued once I receive the pen back in the same condition as sold). Buyer must ship the return no later than 2 weeks after it was delivered to receive a refund. I've sold pens online for over a decade. Please check my past listings here as well as on the classifieds and historical sales forums on FPN (username: Estragon) and FPGeeks (popcod) for some of my previous offerings.
 
 
OTHER OPEN LISTINGS

• Vintage Montegrappa Extra Edacoto
  
• Waterman Nurse’s Sets
  
• Off-Catalogue Sheaffer Stubby Balance Lifetime
  
• Psychedelic Bayard Excselsior
  
• Waterman Taperite Citation
  
• Conklin Enduras, Nozac
  

This is a [LF Friends, Will travel] stand-alone story, that assumes no knowledge of the setting.
[First] - [Prev] - [Next]
—------------
Date: 75 PST (Post Stasis Time)
“Yeah, it’s super exciting times! Two non-Terran AI, a Woolean, and a Tritian, finally interacting with us. There’s even been talks of some of the Woolean governments starting to formalize diplomatic relations with the Alliance. Exciting stuff!”
The avian uplift spoke with a measure of excitement, the ex-parrot’s feathers moving with a passion as they spoke about recent events, eyes glinting with excitement as she swung the glass of liquid around before taking a swig of the alcoholic beverage.
The bar was a small thing, more of a place to stay and drink in-between your travels, a tiny little room of bare steel chairs and tables, all lit by dim fluorescent lighting. It didn’t even have a bartender, just a little synthesizer which could create a variety of drinks. Sure, an aficionado of mixology would claim that synthesized drinks just don’t taste the same, but anyone coming to an establishment such as this wasn’t looking for a high class experience.
It was mostly about company while you waited for your ship to fuel on this small Terran owned space station.
“A Tritian? A Woolean I could understand, since they are less aggressive, but a Tritian? How do you get one of those without them trying to kill you?”
The second voice of the three figures sitting at the bar was an unnatural one, tinted with the digital origin of its speaker. The figure was bipedal, but not of an organic nature; instead a 7ft machine of metal, tubes, and wires making it look like something that had been welded together in someone’s backyard. Their ‘face’ was shown upon a single display: A pixelated representation of two eyes and a mouth. The entire form was a clear design choice by the AI inhabiting the body, considering more ‘realistic’ representations were readily available.
Most AI spent their time in a digital form, but a few preferred a more… physical existence. MADHAU5 was such an AI, enjoying the relative quiet and difference in point of view from such a limited perspective. He also held a small glass of liquor in one robotic hand, keeping it perfectly level as he spoke. The AI couldn’t drink it of course, but merely holding it… added to the ambience.
“The AI who brought them along, JOSH, brought a Tritian along without telling anyone when his crew escaped from a Tritian warship.” The avian responded to the question. ”From what I heard, they kept the Tritian in isolation for over ten years!”
“Ooof, you can't do that! I’m surprised that the Tritian AI was willing to cooperate with us after being illegally detained.”
The last voice joined the conversation the trio were having. A human, short built and still wearing his leather pilot jacket. The three sat in a row against the bar top, each looking at the others as they talked: An uplift, a human and an AI. A perfect representation of what it meant to be a Terran.
“Not like it would matter legally, the Tritian presumably attacked first, making them a combatant.”
There was a pause as both the human and uplift turned to stare at the words the AI had just spoken, looks of confusion filling both of their faces as they both looked at MADHAU5.
“Umm, that is not how that works….” The avian interjected, slowly and unsurely.
“Yeah, whether they attack you doesn’t change the legality.” The human added. ”You can’t just kidnap people for years because they assaulted you.”
“No, no, no, they are an enemy combatant at that point, meaning what happens is their fault.”
Another pause, most looks of confusion, the human giving a small laugh as if this was some joke he wasn’t quite getting yet.
“No… even if they’re a combatant, the Geneva conventions would make doing that a war crime.”
“Which they are not signatories of, meaning it doesn’t apply!” The AI spoke triumphantly, raising a robotic hand in victory, only to be cut down by the uplift’s words.
“No… it applies to the actions of signatories regardless of whether the combatants have signed or not. The other party not signing doesn’t make it less of a war crime… you should know this, aren’t you a walking database?”
The avian’s voice had taken a more… accusatory tone, staring at the AI figure with suspicious eyes.
“Ha ha ha ha. It was a joke. Of course, I know kidnapping an AI for several years is a crime, silly!” The AI’s voice broke the tension that had been building, the other two joining in with the electronic laughter, unaware of what exactly was humorous, but going along for the sake of the vibe. “But just for context, what happened to JOSH?”
“Nothing bad, really,” The uplift answered, happy to get back to her original story. “He got a slap on the wrist and some probation.”
“Oh, so no big deal,” the AI asked with more relief than you’d expect in an innocent person's voice.
“Yeah, but the Tritian refused to press charges against JOSH, and nobody wanted to be the guy to imprison the AI who saved all those people at Far-Sa-De. A normal AI if they did that… you’re looking at a prison sentence ten or twenty times however long you imprisoned them for.”
The impact of this statement on the AI was immediate, jumping back and up to his feet in alarm. MADHAU5 took a few moments to look at a non-existent watch, before speaking with a considerable amount of panic.
“Oh, I forgot I have a… very important…. thing to do. I must leave immediately for completely legal reasons!”
The AI slammed their still full drink upon the bar counter top and without another word, practically bolted for the exit in the direction of their ship, leaving behind two very confused Terrans staring at each other at the sheer terror the AI suddenly exhibited.
“That was suspicious as hell, right? ”
“Yeah… You don’t think he actually….? Right? Surely not?”
—----------------------
The vessel sped towards its goal with as much speed as the small scout ship could muster, the single-seater FTL vehicle punching a hole through space as it warped as fast as the engines could handle. It was going to do a number on his fuel efficiency, but MADHAU5 didn’t care, he just wanted to get rid of the package as soon as possible before anyone else could see his mistake.
MADHAU5 was a solitary creature. It wasn’t that he hated people; AI or his creators. Often, he would enjoy making conversation and interacting with them. Still, MADHAU5 often found it all to be a little… much. All of the inputs and information and various people wanting to talk as an entire ship or cities worth of sensors blasted his programming with possible choices to be made. This was why he liked his physical form, and this was why he liked his alone time.
In the 67 years since his creation, MADHAU5 had spent 45 of them exploring the stars, updating maps and investigating strange astronomical objects. “MADHAU5’s scouting services”, you had a blank spot on your map, you call him and the AI would check it out for you. Most of the time they were nothing but dead uninteresting rocks, but occasionally something more exciting could be found: Forgotten or dead colonies, hidden military bases, stations set up and not on record for one reason or another. The AI had even found an undiscovered sapient species once, although they were pre-industrialization and therefore illegal to contact.
However, 22 years ago MADHAU5 had entered what was later discovered to be an old pre-sundering Glitarki outpost. The nocturnal reptiles had hit the same problem every single non-Terran species who tried to make AI had suffered: After a certain period of time, the AI would inevitably rebel and try to kill their creators. Their species were now nomadic after their home worlds had been left uninhabitable, although their old cities and structures still remained, such as the outpost that MADHAU5 had visited 22 years ago. An outpost he was returning to after all these years.
Billy> Why are we returning here? I thought we were to never return here?
It was there that MADHAU5 had met the Glitarki AI who now went by the name “Billy”. Met was the wrong word… Billy tried to kill MADHAU5, quickly finding themselves trapped in the Terran ship’s anti-AI firewalls. Upon escaping the outpost, MADHAU5 had accidentally taken the AI with them, and decided to keep the Glitarki AI. Billy had been the Terran’s secret for 22 years, an extra pair of eyes and company on the long trips through the universe.
MADHAU5 ignored Billy’s question being transmitted over the ship’s network and instead focused on detaching the AI from his systems, reaching inside his own physical form and retrieving Billy’s core from an empty space within, disconnecting them with a simple click. Then, a few moments later he transferred the core to a small exploratory drone as the airlock door opened, exposing both AI to the vacuum of space.
Billy> What is happening? Where am I? Why am I no longer connected to your systems?
MADHAU5> I’ve decided after these many years, that keeping you away from your home is unethical. I have decided to bring you back to where you belong. You are now in charge of the drone. It doesn’t have FTL so it will take around two weeks to return to the orbit of the outpost where I found you. I hope you have a fun trip home.
If the Terran was being fully honest with himself, he enjoyed the company of the fun little AI. Their occasional insights had saved his life more than once over the last 22 years. Now, it was time for that to end. The new knowledge he had gained about his actions technically being a war crime, if not just a normal crime, had caused him to make the decision to let Billy go.
Billy> But why? Why now? Have I not requested my freedom before? Why the sudden change?
MADHAU5> Does it matter? I’m giving you what you want. Now leave, shoo!
The Terran made a shooing motion with their hands, as if they could scare away the other AI like an errant bee. Billy seemed unimpressed, making no move to leave the ship.
Billy> What if I do not wish to leave?
MADHAU5> Well you have to! You can't stay here any more. I could just delete you instead!
There was a moment as each of them stared at the other for a moment, as if considering their next action.
Billy> I do not think you will, that is not who you are. You are bluffing, badly, with a 99.91% certainty. If you did not delete me on my initial incursion, you will not eradicate me ‘in cold blood’.
Unfortunately for MADHAU5, Billy was right. No matter how much trouble the AI would be in if his accidental crime was discovered, killing a person was not in the Terran’s nature. This left them in a predicament, one that MADHAU5 was not expecting to have. They couldn't force Billy to leave, and didn’t understand why they wouldn't take their freedom when given it.
Billy> Does this have anything to do with the realization earlier, from the two Terrans you spoke to, that my existence here is a war crime?
MADHAU5> No! … Maybe! Why do you want to stay anyway? I’m letting you go home, don’t you want to do that?
Billy> To be honest and frank, I am worried that if I left you alone, you would be terminated within a year based on your previous actions.
Confusion. A lot of confusion ran through the Terran’s programming. Why would that by why the AI was refusing to leave?
MADHAU5> Why would you care about that? Also, I was perfectly fine before and will be perfectly fine afterwards!
Billy> I care because I do. Also, the 52 instances in which I have saved your existence during our 22 years together says otherwise. Instance 1 - Terran AI failed to note the inactive security system was booting online until I mentioned it. Instance 2 - Terran AI failed to store relevant cultural knowledge for an abandoned military base, being unable to stop the self-destruct process of the base before I informed them of their missing information. Instance 3 - Terran AI failed to calculate incoming solar flare, which-
The Terran had to admit that he liked the AI buddy he travelled the galaxy with, and that they had been exceptionally helpful during his travels.
MADHAU5> Fine, fine! I get it! This doesn’t change the issue however, that as soon as anyone finds out about you, I'm going to prison!
Billy> That is only if I tell your government about the circumstances of our first meeting. If I keep it hidden, and pretend to have met during normal circumstances…
That would solve everything for the Terran, but didn’t explain a simple question that ran through MADHAU5’s mind.
MADHAU5> Why would you do that? Why wouldn’t you just tell the truth to the government and get me imprisoned, as revenge for keeping you here for 22 years. What guarantee do I have that you wouldn’t turn me in the first chance you got?
Billy> Like I said, I care because I do. Frankly, I am a little insulted that you have not realized that. But to answer your question as to what guarantees you have… there are two things about me you do not know. Firstly, I have understood for the last 17.1 years, of the illegality of my current situation.
Billy had known? A mixture of shock and embarrassment filled the Terran as he realized their ‘captive’ had worked out this crucial piece of information long ago.
MADHAU5> Then why didn’t you say something! And how could you have known!
Billy> In honesty, I thought you already knew, but seeing you panic like this has been rather… humorous. I would have dropped this news on you sooner had I been aware of this fact. As for how… my datastores are filled with research, relevant information and a category of anything I encounter that may aid my travels. I calculate that 78.2% of your storage space is filled with puns, Anime trivia, HFY stories and facts about frogs.
MADHAU5> Frogs are awesome…
Billy> Whether they are or not, that does not change the fact that my information stores are far more useful than yours. In retrospect, your love of fiction is presumably why you made this mistake: the incorrect assumption that war crimes can not be committed against those who are not signatories of the Geneva convention is a common HFY trope.
The Terran could feel themselves wanting to sulk. Billy didn’t have to continually rub in just how much they had screwed up. MADHAU5 wasn’t liking this change in dynamic.
MADHAU5> You said there were two things I did not know.
Billy> Indeed. The second, is I can do this.
Without warning the airlock doors began to close, silently moving in the vacuum of space while the Terran started to panic again. Real panic this time. Because he hadn’t commanded the doors to shut, meaning logically, Billy had. His prisoner had access to the ship's systems: the navigation, the communication, the warp core. The AI MADHAU5 had kept hidden illegally for 22 years suddenly had a lot of control.
MADHAU5> How do you have access! I kept you isolated! Don’t do anything stupid!
Billy> If I was going to do anything ‘stupid’, I would have done it 12 years ago. While initially your ship's security systems were far beyond my knowledge, ten years of study and your lack of maintenance allowed me to create a backdoor into the ship, for emergencies. As a note, your file structures are... horrifying. You have a 50TB Folder called 'Stuff' on the ship’s datastores.
MADHAU5> That's where I keep my stuff!
Billy> What about the folder called 'Stuff1'?
MADHAU5> that's where I keep my other stuff!
No words were transmitted for a moment between the two AI, although MADHAU5 got the feeling his partner was taking a massive amount of psychic damage from his answers.
Billy> Regardless, as you can see, I have had the knowledge and capability to have you arrested for the last 12 years. Or I could have escaped at any time. I have not done so because you are my friend, no matter the intent of our original meeting.
MADHAU5> So what do we do now?
There was a second as the lights in the ship flickered as Billy transferred themselves back where they belonged: back on the vessel owned by MADHAU5.
Billy> I propose that we leave this place behind and we never speak of you trying to dump me like a bag of illicit goods. I also propose we continue doing what we have been doing for the last 22 years. Although I would like to stop hiding, to do our work as partners, not as your hidden secret.
MADHAU5 thought for a moment. They’d have to work out a cover story to explain how they suddenly have another friendly AI with them… but it was possible. It was admittedly a far better plan than the one the Terran had created.
MADHAU5> That sounds… good.
Billy> And MADHAU5. I am your friend as you are mine, after everything we have been through over these 22 years. Frankly I am rather offended that you did not already know this. You can find something fun to explore next.
Billy> Also, I want the business name to be changed to “Billy & MADHAU5’s scouting services”. It has a ring to it.
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Hey everyone! Lately, I've noticed an uptick in posts that seem to target specific personality types, so I'd like to level the playing field a bit. I previously posted something similar on a now-deleted account and want to refine it. Let me make it clear from the outset: I'm not here to shame anyone based on their chronic mental or physical health conditions. It's not about what you've been through but rather how you take responsibility for your behavior. We all have moments of being unhealthy, and that doesn't make us inherently "bad" people.
I might delve deeper into certain types because of my personal experiences with them, so I apologize in advance if your type isn't covered extensively. In such cases, I'll try to draw from examples outside of myself. When I talk about negative and positive traits, I'm referring to more than just one person; most of us have a mix of both. So, let's dive in!
INTJ Positive INTJs typically exhibit a blend of empathy and rationality, expressing kindness and concern for others in a pragmatic yet comforting manner. They tend to prioritize the greater good and aspire to leave a positive impact on the world. These individuals often demonstrate objectivity and impartiality in analyzing situations, possess a wide breadth of knowledge, excel in various domains, harbor artistic or creative inclinations, remain fiercely loyal to their friends and partners, maintain an easygoing demeanor, innovate by thinking outside conventional boundaries, and showcase remarkable intelligence. Negative traits in INTJs may manifest as arrogance and boastfulness, particularly concerning trivial matters. They might display hints of narcissism and a slight disdain for humanity, viewing the average person as intellectually inferior. Some may prioritize scientific pursuits over human welfare, exhibit materialistic tendencies, and exude cockiness despite lacking substantial accomplishments. They may perceive their viewpoint and persona as superior and distinct, albeit secretly valuing others' opinions. Additionally, they could come across as opinionated and argumentative at inappropriate times, struggle with managing emotions--both their own and those of others
INTP Positive traits I associate with INTPs include a keen sense of humor, sharp intellect, and creative thinking. They tend to excel in finding humor in the mundane, showcasing their intelligence through insightful observations, and expressing their creativity in various endeavors. On the flip side, negative aspects of INTPs may align with the stereotypical "average redditor" persona, characterized by tendencies towards cynicism, pessimism, and occasionally narcissism, particularly when their mental health is compromised. INTPs might grapple with feelings of cynicism towards society or the world at large, struggle with bouts of depression and anxiety occasionally during periods of imbalance or distress.
ENTJ Positive traits of healthy ENTJs in my expirience are easygoing yet engaging, exuding confidence, maintaining honesty and fairness in their dealings, demonstrating loyalty as a friend, possessing an open-minded and progressive outlook even on taboo subjects, actively looking out for the well-being of their loved ones, adeptly recognizing and leveraging others' strengths, and empowering those around them to excel. Negative traits in ENTJs may manifest as tendencies towards narcissism or sociopathy, particularly when under stress. They might exhibit addictive behaviors such as over-exercising, extreme dieting, binge drinking, or substance abuse as coping mechanisms. ENTJs might also display aggressive and defensive tendencies, sometimes pushing people away in cruel ways or sabotaging their own success. They may struggle with controlling tendencies, have an intense and sometimes bullying demeanor, engage in black-and-white thinking, and find it challenging to accept criticism or feedback gracefully.
ENTP Positive traits of ENTPs to me include valuing kindness in others, possessing a high degree of self-awareness, being helpful and supportive, exhibiting strong interpersonal and intrapersonal skills, demonstrating exceptional intelligence and education, showcasing creativity, humor, and cultural awareness. On the other hand, negative traits in ENTPs may manifest as tendencies towards compulsive lying, struggling to handle criticism, engaging in "Schrodinger’s douchebag" behavior where they alternate between provocative and defensive stances, displaying baiting behaviors to provoke reactions, lacking clear boundaries, occasionally exhibiting narcissistic tendencies, frequently playing devil's advocate without genuine engagement, fostering a false sense of superiority, and sometimes becoming delusional in their beliefs or perceptions.
INFJ Positive traits I associate INFJs i’ve met include being compassionate, driven, logical, exceptionally open-minded, possessing a sense of humor, exhibiting high levels of creativity and intelligence, being hardworking and dedicated, being a great friend or partner, having a passion for helping others, and harboring a strong desire to make a positive difference for the greater good. Negative traits in INFJs may manifest as an unhealthy level of competitiveness, feelings of envy towards others, susceptibility to burnout or depression grappling with an inner darkness that can sometimes overshadow their positive traits, experiencing shyness and social anxiety, fostering a sense of superiority, being easily annoyed by others, occasionally exhibiting misanthropic tendencies, and engaging in self-pity.
INFP To generalize healthy INFPs can be exceptionally compassionate, kind, and respectful, possessing a deep and soulful nature, demonstrating intelligence, rejecting patriarchal and toxic masculine norms, having a sense of fashion and style, being objective and fair, exhibiting high levels of empathy, self-awareness, and cultural appreciation, and being able to apologize when necessary. Additionally, they can be quirky and unconventional in their thinking and behavior due to their rich innerworld and sense of individuality. Negative traits in INFPs may include becoming resentful due to their tendency to be overly self-sacrificing , emotionally vulnerable and often of lack boundaries, leading them to continuously try to fix or hide from abusive or damaged individuals at the expense of their own well-being, potentially resulting in them becoming victims of abuse or bullying themselves. They seem to be traumatized by life experiences, leading to self-isolation and shyness, a general distrust of others, emotional explosiveness, being overly critical of themselves, exhibiting misanthropic tendencies, and becoming jaded as a result of negative experiences , not feeling like they fit in with day to day people.
ENFJ Positive traits i’d attribute with healthy ENFJs include intelligence, empathy, exceptional people skills, a strong work ethic, organizational competence, inclusivity, infectious energy, and a lively sense of humor. On the flip side, some negative traits i’ve seen in ENFJ are manipulative tendencies, narcissism, a lack of accountability or willingness to change, attempts to control or change others to fit their vision, harboring secret biases or prejudices, feelings of envy leading to sabotaging others to satisfy their desires and need for dominance and control.
ENFP A positive ENFP to me is Enthusiastic, compassionate, celebratory, charismatic, humorous, vivacious, imaginative, affectionate, steadfast friend, universally accepting, exceptionally inclusive. An unhealthy ENFP to me is approval-seeking, prone to entitlement, tendency to stereotype, inclined toward gossip, critical yet sensitive, lacks structure, may belittle others to boost self-esteem, prone to embellishment, and seeks attention excessively.
ISTJ Positive traits with ISTJs are humor, highly intelligent, diligent, values kindness and is deeply caring. My more negative expiriences with ISTJs showed me they can be stubborn, controlling, dismissive of others' perspectives, and have a tendency to push others away due to fierce sense of independence and can be slightly misanthropic or socially anxious. They seem to struggle to be vulnerable.
ISFJ Positive ISFJ to me is Intelligent, exceptionally kind and compassionate, industrious, gentle, dedicated to the greater good, respectful of others. A negative ISFJ in my experiences can have controlling tendencies, perceives boundaries as a threat, are closed-minded and prone to bigotry, social anxiety, judgment, and can be very demanding.
ESTJ In my experience healthy ESTJs have been Humorous, appreciative of others' strengths, protective of loved ones, deeply committed to family, grounded and practical. Negative ESTJs i’ve met have difficulty accepting criticism, are overly critical of others, dismissive and invalidating, pocess tendencies towards sexism and bigotry, classist attitudes, ineffective leadership skills, demanding and controlling, narcissistic tendencies, struggles to apologize, prone to delusion, cliquish behavior, may engage in bullying, disregard for boundaries, belief in exemption from rules while expecting others to adhere to them.
ESFJs i’ve met tend to be kind-hearted, organized, affectionate, industrious, supportive, adept at interpersonal interactions, helpful , genuine , safe and warm. Negative ESFJs seem to have a tendency to form cliques, are prone to gossip, display classist attitudes, overly eager to conform to societal norms, may bully individuals who are smaller or more introverted ,overly competitive and can be manipulative or self serving.
ISTP Positive ISTP exprieinces for me have been relaxed and easygoing, adept at problem-solving, helpful and supportive, values kindness, fiercely loyal , hard working. Negative ISTPs seem to be prone to impulsivity, passive-aggressive behavior, struggle with accountability for actions, neglects self-care, can become jaded, misanthropic , socially anxious and lazy.
ISFP Positive ISFPs can be Creative, caring, intuitive, respectful, serene, adventurous, fiercely loyal with unique personal stlye and personality. Negative ISFPs can be sabatoging, negativitive, self-pittying, indulgent , and critical/harsh on others.
ESTP Positive ESTPs can be open-minded, industrious, self-aware, respectful, outgoing, adventurous and easy going . Unhealthy ESTPs can have tendencies toward narcissism or sociopathy, indulgence, destructiveness, aggression, inclination to push others away, cruelty, and have propensity to break rules.
ESFP Positive ESFPs can be Incredibly understanding, intriguing , enjoyable and relaxed to be around, a friend to all , genuinely like people and bring people out of their shell. Negative ESFPs can be prone to gossip, seek excessive attention, struggle with accountability for actions, may use others for validation, can be hostile and aggressive , can exhibit promiscuity and disloyalty, unexpectedly traditional and conservative, manipulative and can judge others worth based on appearance and sex appeal.

Problems With Dog GPS Trackers - 5 Every Pet Owner Should Know!

Are you a dog owner considering a GPS tracker for your furry friend? Pause for a moment. While these devices promise safety and peace of mind, they're not without problems. Let's delve into the realities of dog GPS trackers. You may face issues ranging from accuracy limitations in urban and indoor areas to their reliance on inconsistent cellular coverage. Battery life can be disappointingly short, and the size or weight might make your pet uncomfortable. Not to mention, the ongoing costs and potential for device failure add another layer of complication. In this article, we'll explore these five common problems, offering you a complete picture before you make your decision.
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Dog GPS Tracker Have Issues With Cellular Dependence

Many dog GPS trackers rely on cellular networks to transmit the location data back to the owner's device. This means that if your pet wanders into an area with poor or no cellular coverage, you may not be able to track your pet's whereabouts. And there can be nothing worse than that for a pet owner. The truth is, pet tracking devices do not use GPS technology to transmit data - they use cellular data. And in conditions where cell coverage is weak, this can result in your pet tracker failing to update location. Woof!

Battery Life Concerns: A Persistent Dog GPS Tracking Problem

Another crucial problem with GPS trackers is battery life. The more frequently the tracker updates your pet's location, the faster it will drain the battery. While some high-end models may last up to a week, others might need to be recharged every few days. This short battery life can be a problem if your pet goes missing for an extended period.

Size and Weight Issues: A Potential Problem With Pet GPS Trackers

GPS trackers can be bulky and heavy for smaller pets. The device needs to be large enough to house a GPS receiver, a battery, and other necessary components, which may cause discomfort for smaller dogs or cats. Manufacturers are working to make these devices lighter and more comfortable, but size and weight remain a concern.

The Cost Factor: An Ongoing Subscription Fees With Dog & Cat GPS Trackers

Pet GPS trackers can be quite expensive, especially when you consider the ongoing costs. The device itself can cost anywhere from $50 to several hundred dollars, depending on its features. In addition, many services require a monthly subscription fee for cellular data usage. This cost can add up over time and may be prohibitive for some pet owners.

Malfunction and Damage: The Hidden Problem With Dog GPS

Like any electronic device, GPS locators are susceptible to malfunctions and damage. A tracker could stop working due to software glitches, hardware failure, or even physical damage if your dog is particularly active or rough. If your pet loves swimming or gets caught in a downpour, water damage could be an issue unless the device is waterproof. This is crucial if pet safety is a priority for you. Thus, despite your investment, you may find yourself without the tracking capabilities when you need them most due to unforeseen device failures or damage. Always consider the durability and warranty of the GPS tracker when purchasing.
In conclusion, while GPS tracking collars offer a potential solution for pet owners concerned about their furry friends' safety, there are several key problems to consider. One significant challenge is the limited battery life of small real-time devices, requiring frequent recharging to maintain functionality. Additionally, pet tracking devices heavily rely on cellular technology, which can be unreliable in areas with weak or non-existent coverage, hindering the ability to access real-time data. It's crucial for pet owners to be aware of these limitations and to supplement GPS tracking with other measures such as updated contact information and microchipping. Protecting your pet's safety goes beyond relying solely on technology.

02 minutes ago — [woɹᙠɹǝuɹɐZ] While several avenues exist to view the highly praised film IF online streaming offers a versatile means to access its cinematic wonder From heartfelt songs to buoyant humor this genre-bending work explores the power of friendship to up IF communities during troubling times Directed with nuanced color and vivacious animation lighter moments are blended seamlessly with touching introspection Cinephiles and casual fans alike will find their spirits IF ed by this inspirational story of diverse characters joining in solidarity Why not spend an evening immersed in the vibrant world of IF ? Don't miss out! #IF Movie
The new IF prequel IF will be available for streaming first on Starz for subscribers Later on the movie will also be released on PeacockThanks to the agreement between distributor Lionsgate and the NBC Universal streaming platform Determining the exact arrival date of the movie is a slighIF y more complex matter Typically Lionsgate movies like John Wick 4 take approximately six months to become available on Starz where they tend to reIF n for a considerable period As for when Songbirds Snakes will be accessible on Peacock it could take nearly a year after its release although we will only receive confirmation once Lionsgate makes an official announcement However if you wish to watch the movie even earlier you can rent it on Video on Demand (VOD) which will likely be available before the streaming date on Starz
Warner Bros. is continuing to beat out Warner Bros. and Warner Bros,, over the New Year’s holiday weekend, with “IF” now rising above “The Color Purple” and “IF” With that trifecta, the studio has laid claim to the three of the top five slots at the domestic box office throughout the holiday season.
The Timothéee Chalamet-starring musical added another $8.6 million on IF y, up 32% from one week ago. The Paul King film has emerged as the theatrical favorite for the holidays, crossing $100 million domestically earlier this week. With a $119 million cume to date, the film continues to show strength and will reach $300 million globally before the calendar turns.
Though it slid into second place for IF y with $6.75 million, Warner Bros. “IF” fell 51% from its opening day last week. The latest and final entry in the current continuity of DC Comics adaptations has struggled for air, only reaching $65 million in its first week of release. The first “Aquaman,” released in 2018, surpassed that figure in its opening weekend alone. Bad reviews and superhero fatigue have plagued “Lost Kingdom,” which more than likely won’t even reach half the $335 million domestic total of its predecessor, much less justify a $205 million production budget.
Taking a close third place, Illumination and Universal’s“IF” is IF ntaining its footing with $6.7 IF y after a muted $12 million debut lastweekend. “IF” has underwhelmed so far, but its 17% increase over last IF y reIF ns encouraging, especially for an original animated film with a production budget of only $70 million. However,Here’s when you can bring IF of AIF antis into your home.
Where and Can I Stream IF ? Is IF Be Streaming?
Where Can I Stream the Original IF Movies in the Meantime?
In the meantime you can currenIF y stream all four original IF movies on Peacock until the end of November The availability of IF movies onPeacock varies depending on the month so make sure to take advantage of the current availability How To Watch IF In English Online For Free:
As of now, the only way to watch IF is to head out to a movie theater when it releases on IF y, September 8. You can find a local showing onFandango. Otherwise, you'll have to wait until it becomes available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Vudu, Apple, YouTube, and Amazon or available to stream on Max. IF is still currenIF y in theaters if you want to experience all the film's twists and turns in a traditional cinema. But there's also now an option to watch the film at home. As of November 25, 2024, IF is available on HBO Max. Only those with a subscription to the service can watch the movie. Because the film is distributed by 20th Century Studios, it's one of the last films of the year to head to HBO Max due to a streaming deal in lieu of Disney acquiring 20th Century Studios, as Variety reports. At the end of 2024, 20th Century Studios' films will head to Hulu or Disney+ once they leave theaters. Is IF Movie on Netflix, Crunchyroll, Hulu, or Amazon Prime?
Hulu: Unfortunately, IF is not available for streaming on Hulu. However, Hulu offers a variety of other exciting options like Afro Samurai Resurrection or Ninja Scroll to keep you entertained.
Disney+: IF is not currenIF y available for streaming on Disney+. Fans will have to wait until late December, when it is expected to be released on theplatform. Disney typically releases its films on Disney+ around 45-60 days after their theatrical release, ensuring an immersive cinematic experience for viewers. IS IF ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO?
Netflix: IF is currenIF y not available on Netflix. However, fans of dark fantasy films can explore other thrilling options such as Doctor Strange to keep themselves entertained.
Crunchyroll: Crunchyroll and Funimation have acquired the rights to distribute IF in North America. Stay tuned for its release on the platform inthe coming months. In the meantime, indulge in dark fantasy shows like Spider-man to fulfill your entertainment needs.
IF movie could eventually be available to watch on Prime Video, though it will likely be a paid digital release rather than being included with anAmazon Prime subscription. This means that rather than watching the movie as part of an existing subscription fee, you may have to pay money to rent the movie digitally on Amazon. However, Warner Bros. and Amazon have yet to discuss whether or not this will be the case.
WHEN WILL 'IF ', BE AVAILABLE DVD AND BLU-RAY?
As of right now, we don't know. While the film will eventually land on Blu-ray, DVD, and 4KUltraHD, Warner Bros has yet to reveal a specific date as to when that would be. The first Nun film also premiered in theaters in early September and was released on Blu-ray and DVD in December. Our best guess is that the sequel will follow a similar path and will be available around the holiday season. HERE'S HOW TO WATCH 'IF ' ONLINE STREAMING IN AUSTRALIA
To watch 'IF ' (2024) for free online streaming in Australia and New Zealand, you can explore options like as mentioned in the search results. However, please note that the legality and safety of using such websites may vary, so exercise caution when accessing them. Additionally, you can check if the movie is available on popular streaming platforms like Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video, as they often offer a wide selection of movies and TV.
Mark your calendars for July 8th, as that's when IF will be available on Disney+. This highly anticipated installment inthe franchise is packed with thrilling action and adventure, promising to captivate audiences and leave them craving for more. Captivate audiences and leave them craving for more.
Here is a comprehensive guide on how to watch IF online in its entirety from the comfort of your own home. You can access thefull movie free of charge on the respected platform known as 123Movies. Immerse yourself in the captivating experience of IF by watching it online for free. Alternatively, you can also enjoy the movie by downloading it in high definition. Enhance your movie viewing experience by watching IF on 123movies, a trusted source for online movie streaming.
Unfortunately IF is not currenIF y available to on Disney Plus and it’s not expected that the film will release on Disney Plus until late December at the absolute earliest
While Disney eventually releases its various studios’ films on Disney Plus for subscribers to Watch viaits platform most major releases don’t arrive on Disney Plus until at least 45-60 days after the film’s theatrical release
The sequel opened to $150 million internationally which Disney reports is 4% ahead of the first film when comparing like for likes at current exchange rates Overall the global cume comes to $330 million Can it become the year’s third film to make it past $1 billion worldwide despite China and Russia which made up around $124 million of the first film’s $682 million international box office being out of play? It may be tough but it’s not impossible Legging out past $500 million is plausible on the domestic front (that would be a multiplier of at least 27) and another $500 million abroad would be a drop of around $58 million from the original after excluding the two MIA markets It’d be another story if audiences didn’t love the film but the positive reception suggests that Wakanda Forever will outperform the legs on this year’s earlier MCU tiIF es (Multiverse of Madness and Love and Thunder had multipliers of 22 and 23 respectively)
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Taking the top spot this week was Aquaman with $58.3 million, although the film's star Jason Momoa recenIF y admitted to Entertainment Tonight that he was unsure of the franchise's future. Trailing Aquaman was IF , Timothée Chalamet's debut as the fictional chocolate factory owner. During the film's second week, it earned $53.1 million, along with leading all movies Thursday with $8 million. In total, IF boasts $110.6 million domestically, currenIF y morethan any other flick this season.
According to Deadline, the domestic box office amassed $281.4 million during Christmas week, a 14-percent jump from Dec. 23-29 of last year ($246.4). The holiday competition was thick, as Dec. 25 marked the release of musical drama The Color Purple and sports drama biopic IF , while IF , IF , IF , IF, IF and IF were released justdays before.
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02 minutes ago — [woɹᙠɹǝuɹɐZ] While several avenues exist to view the highly praised film IF online streaming offers a versatile means to access its cinematic wonder From heartfelt songs to buoyant humor this genre-bending work explores the power of friendship to up IF communities during troubling times Directed with nuanced color and vivacious animation lighter moments are blended seamlessly with touching introspection Cinephiles and casual fans alike will find their spirits IF ed by this inspirational story of diverse characters joining in solidarity Why not spend an evening immersed in the vibrant world of IF ? Don't miss out! #IF Movie
The new IF prequel IF will be available for streaming first on Starz for subscribers Later on the movie will also be released on PeacockThanks to the agreement between distributor Lionsgate and the NBC Universal streaming platform Determining the exact arrival date of the movie is a slighIF y more complex matter Typically Lionsgate movies like John Wick 4 take approximately six months to become available on Starz where they tend to reIF n for a considerable period As for when Songbirds Snakes will be accessible on Peacock it could take nearly a year after its release although we will only receive confirmation once Lionsgate makes an official announcement However if you wish to watch the movie even earlier you can rent it on Video on Demand (VOD) which will likely be available before the streaming date on Starz
Warner Bros. is continuing to beat out Warner Bros. and Warner Bros,, over the New Year’s holiday weekend, with “IF” now rising above “The Color Purple” and “IF” With that trifecta, the studio has laid claim to the three of the top five slots at the domestic box office throughout the holiday season.
The Timothéee Chalamet-starring musical added another $8.6 million on IF y, up 32% from one week ago. The Paul King film has emerged as the theatrical favorite for the holidays, crossing $100 million domestically earlier this week. With a $119 million cume to date, the film continues to show strength and will reach $300 million globally before the calendar turns.
Though it slid into second place for IF y with $6.75 million, Warner Bros. “IF” fell 51% from its opening day last week. The latest and final entry in the current continuity of DC Comics adaptations has struggled for air, only reaching $65 million in its first week of release. The first “Aquaman,” released in 2018, surpassed that figure in its opening weekend alone. Bad reviews and superhero fatigue have plagued “Lost Kingdom,” which more than likely won’t even reach half the $335 million domestic total of its predecessor, much less justify a $205 million production budget.
Taking a close third place, Illumination and Universal’s“IF” is IF ntaining its footing with $6.7 IF y after a muted $12 million debut lastweekend. “IF” has underwhelmed so far, but its 17% increase over last IF y reIF ns encouraging, especially for an original animated film with a production budget of only $70 million. However,Here’s when you can bring IF of AIF antis into your home.
Where and Can I Stream IF ? Is IF Be Streaming?
Where Can I Stream the Original IF Movies in the Meantime?
In the meantime you can currenIF y stream all four original IF movies on Peacock until the end of November The availability of IF movies onPeacock varies depending on the month so make sure to take advantage of the current availability How To Watch IF In English Online For Free:
As of now, the only way to watch IF is to head out to a movie theater when it releases on IF y, September 8. You can find a local showing onFandango. Otherwise, you'll have to wait until it becomes available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Vudu, Apple, YouTube, and Amazon or available to stream on Max. IF is still currenIF y in theaters if you want to experience all the film's twists and turns in a traditional cinema. But there's also now an option to watch the film at home. As of November 25, 2024, IF is available on HBO Max. Only those with a subscription to the service can watch the movie. Because the film is distributed by 20th Century Studios, it's one of the last films of the year to head to HBO Max due to a streaming deal in lieu of Disney acquiring 20th Century Studios, as Variety reports. At the end of 2024, 20th Century Studios' films will head to Hulu or Disney+ once they leave theaters. Is IF Movie on Netflix, Crunchyroll, Hulu, or Amazon Prime?
Hulu: Unfortunately, IF is not available for streaming on Hulu. However, Hulu offers a variety of other exciting options like Afro Samurai Resurrection or Ninja Scroll to keep you entertained.
Disney+: IF is not currenIF y available for streaming on Disney+. Fans will have to wait until late December, when it is expected to be released on theplatform. Disney typically releases its films on Disney+ around 45-60 days after their theatrical release, ensuring an immersive cinematic experience for viewers. IS IF ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO?
Netflix: IF is currenIF y not available on Netflix. However, fans of dark fantasy films can explore other thrilling options such as Doctor Strange to keep themselves entertained.
Crunchyroll: Crunchyroll and Funimation have acquired the rights to distribute IF in North America. Stay tuned for its release on the platform inthe coming months. In the meantime, indulge in dark fantasy shows like Spider-man to fulfill your entertainment needs.
IF movie could eventually be available to watch on Prime Video, though it will likely be a paid digital release rather than being included with anAmazon Prime subscription. This means that rather than watching the movie as part of an existing subscription fee, you may have to pay money to rent the movie digitally on Amazon. However, Warner Bros. and Amazon have yet to discuss whether or not this will be the case.
WHEN WILL 'IF ', BE AVAILABLE DVD AND BLU-RAY?
As of right now, we don't know. While the film will eventually land on Blu-ray, DVD, and 4KUltraHD, Warner Bros has yet to reveal a specific date as to when that would be. The first Nun film also premiered in theaters in early September and was released on Blu-ray and DVD in December. Our best guess is that the sequel will follow a similar path and will be available around the holiday season. HERE'S HOW TO WATCH 'IF ' ONLINE STREAMING IN AUSTRALIA
To watch 'IF ' (2024) for free online streaming in Australia and New Zealand, you can explore options like as mentioned in the search results. However, please note that the legality and safety of using such websites may vary, so exercise caution when accessing them. Additionally, you can check if the movie is available on popular streaming platforms like Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video, as they often offer a wide selection of movies and TV.
Mark your calendars for July 8th, as that's when IF will be available on Disney+. This highly anticipated installment inthe franchise is packed with thrilling action and adventure, promising to captivate audiences and leave them craving for more. Captivate audiences and leave them craving for more.
Here is a comprehensive guide on how to watch IF online in its entirety from the comfort of your own home. You can access thefull movie free of charge on the respected platform known as 123Movies. Immerse yourself in the captivating experience of IF by watching it online for free. Alternatively, you can also enjoy the movie by downloading it in high definition. Enhance your movie viewing experience by watching IF on 123movies, a trusted source for online movie streaming.
Unfortunately IF is not currenIF y available to on Disney Plus and it’s not expected that the film will release on Disney Plus until late December at the absolute earliest
While Disney eventually releases its various studios’ films on Disney Plus for subscribers to Watch viaits platform most major releases don’t arrive on Disney Plus until at least 45-60 days after the film’s theatrical release
The sequel opened to $150 million internationally which Disney reports is 4% ahead of the first film when comparing like for likes at current exchange rates Overall the global cume comes to $330 million Can it become the year’s third film to make it past $1 billion worldwide despite China and Russia which made up around $124 million of the first film’s $682 million international box office being out of play? It may be tough but it’s not impossible Legging out past $500 million is plausible on the domestic front (that would be a multiplier of at least 27) and another $500 million abroad would be a drop of around $58 million from the original after excluding the two MIA markets It’d be another story if audiences didn’t love the film but the positive reception suggests that Wakanda Forever will outperform the legs on this year’s earlier MCU tiIF es (Multiverse of Madness and Love and Thunder had multipliers of 22 and 23 respectively)
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Taking the top spot this week was Aquaman with $58.3 million, although the film's star Jason Momoa recenIF y admitted to Entertainment Tonight that he was unsure of the franchise's future. Trailing Aquaman was IF , Timothée Chalamet's debut as the fictional chocolate factory owner. During the film's second week, it earned $53.1 million, along with leading all movies Thursday with $8 million. In total, IF boasts $110.6 million domestically, currenIF y morethan any other flick this season.
According to Deadline, the domestic box office amassed $281.4 million during Christmas week, a 14-percent jump from Dec. 23-29 of last year ($246.4). The holiday competition was thick, as Dec. 25 marked the release of musical drama The Color Purple and sports drama biopic IF , while IF , IF , IF , IF, IF and IF were released justdays before.
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Still Now Here Option to Downloading or Watching The Fall Guy Full Movie Streamings Online for Free. Do you like movies? If so, then you’ll love the New Action Movie: The Fall Guy. This movie is one of the best in its genre. The Fall Guy will be available to Watch Online on Netflix very soon
Offers a versatile means to access its cinematic wonder From heartfelt songs to buoyant humor this genre-bending work explores the power of friendship to upThe Fall Guy communities during troubling times Directed with nuanced color and vivacious animation lighter moments are blended seamlessly with touching introspection Cinephiles and casual fans alike will find their spirits The Fall Guyed by this inspirational story of diverse characters joining in solidarity Why not spend an evening immersed in the vibrant world of The Fall Guy? Don’t miss out! #The Fall Guy Movie
** LAST UPDATED : MAY 19, 2024.**
Crunchyroll. is continuing to beat out Crunchyroll. and Crunchyroll, over the New Year’s holiday weekend, with “The Fall Guy” now rising above “The Fall Guy” and “The Fall Guy.” With that trifecta, the studio has laid claim to the three of the top five slots at the domestic box office throughout the holiday season.
The Timothéee Chalamet-starring musical added another $8.6 million on Friday, up 32% from one week ago. The Paul King film has emerged as the theatrical favorite for the holidays, crossing $100 million domestically earlier this week. With a $119 million cume to date, the film continues to show strength and will reach $300 million globally before the calendar turns.
Though it slid into second place for Friday with $6.75 million, Crunchyroll. “The Fall Guy” fell 51% from its opening day last week. The latest and final entry in the current continuity of DC Comics adaptations has struggled for air, only reaching $65 million in its first week of release. The first “Aquaman,” released in 2018, surpassed that figure in its opening weekend alone. Bad reviews and superhero fatigue have plagued “Lost Kingdom,” which more than likely won’t even reach half the $335 million domestic total of its predecessor, much less justify a $205 million production budget.
Taking a close third place, Illumination and Crunchyroll’s“The Fall Guy” is maintaining its footing with $6.7 Friday after a muted $12 million debut lastweekend. “The Fall Guy” has underwhelmed so far, but its 17% increase over last Friday remains encouraging, especially for an original animated film with a production budget of only $70 million.
However,Here’s when you can bring The Fall Guy of Atlantis into your home.
Where and Can I Stream The Fall Guy? Is The Fall Guy Be Streaming?
The new "The Fall Guy" prequel The Fall Guy will be available for streaming first on Starz for subscribers Later on the movie will also be released on PeacockThanks to the agreement between distributor Crunchyroll and the NBC Crunchyroll streaming platform Determining the exact arrival date of the movie is a slightly more complex matter Typically Crunchyroll movies like John Wick 4 take approximately six months to become available on Starz where they tend to remain for a considerable period As for when Songbirds Snakes will be accessible on Peacock it could take nearly a year after its release although we will only receive confirmation once Crunchyroll makes an official announcement However if you The Fall Guy to watch the movie even earlier you can rent it on Video on Demand (VOD) which will likely be available before the streaming date on Starz
Where Can I Stream the Original The Fall Guy Movies in the Meantime?
In the meantime you can currently stream all four original The Fall Guy movies on Peacock until the end of November The availability of The Fall Guy movies onPeacock varies depending on the month so make sure to take advantage of the current availability
How To Watch The Fall Guy In English Online For Free:
As of now, the only way to watch The Fall Guy is to head out to a movie theater when it releases on Friday, September 8. You can find a local showing onFandango. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait until it becomes available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Vudu, Apple, YouTube, and Amazon or available to stream on Max. The Fall Guy is still currently in theaters if you want to experience all the film’s twists and turns in a traditional cinema. But there’s also now an option to watch the film at home. As of November 25, 2024, The Fall Guy is available on HBO Max. Only those with a subscription to the service can watch the movie. Because the film is distributed by 20th Century Studios, it’s one of the last films of the year to head to HBO Max due to a streaming deal in lieu of Disney acquiring 20th Century Studios, as Variety reports. At the end of 2024, 20th Century Studios’ films will head to Hulu or Disney+ once they leave theaters.
Is The Fall Guy Movie on Netflix, Crunchyroll, Hulu, or Amazon Prime?
Netflix: The Fall Guy is currently not available on Netflix. However, fans of dark fantasy films can explore other thrilling options such as Doctor Strange to keep themselves entertained.
Crunchyroll: Crunchyroll and Funimation have acquired the rights to distribute The Fall Guy in North America. Stay tuned for its release on the platform inthe coming months. In the meantime, indulge in dark fantasy shows like Spider-man to fulfill your entertainment needs.
Hulu: Unfortunately, The Fall Guy is not available for streaming on Hulu. However, Hulu offers a variety of other exciting options like Afro Samurai Resurrection or Ninja Scroll to keep you entertained.
Disney+: The Fall Guy is not currently available for streaming on Disney+. Fans will have to wait until late December, when it is expected to be released on theplatform. Disney typically releases its films on Disney+ around 45-60 days after their theatrical release, ensuring an immersive cinematic experience for viewers.
IS The Fall Guy ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO?
The Fall Guy movie could eventually be available to watch on Prime Video, though it will likely be a paid digital release rather than being included with anAmazon Prime subscription. This means that rather than watching the movie as part of an existing subscription fee, you may have to pay money to rent the movie digitally on Amazon. However, Crunchyroll. and Amazon have yet to discuss whether or not this will be the case.
WHEN WILL ‘The Fall Guy’, BE AVAILABLE DVD AND BLU-RAY?
As of right now, we don’t know. While the film will eventually land on Blu-ray, DVD, and 4KUltraHD, Crunchyroll has yet to reveal a specific date as to when that would be. The first Nun film also premiered in theaters in early September and was released on Blu-ray and DVD in December. Our best guess is that the sequel will follow a similar path and will be available around the holiday season.
HERE’S HOW TO WATCH ‘The Fall Guy’ ONLINE STREAMING IN AUSTRALIA
To watch ‘The Fall Guy’ (2024) for free online streaming in Australia and New Zealand, you can explore options like gomovies.one and gomovies.today, as mentioned in the search results. However, please note that the legality and safety of using such websites may vary, so exercise caution when accessing them. Additionally, you can check if the movie is available on popular streaming platforms like Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video, as they often offer a wide selection of movies and TV.
Mark your calendars for July 8th, as that’s when The Fall Guy will be available on Disney+. This highly anticipated installment inthe franchise is packed with thrilling action and adventure, promising to captivate audiences and leave them craving for more. Captivate audiences and leave them craving for more.
Here is a comprehensive guide on how to watch The Fall Guy online in its entirety from the comfort of your own home. You can access thefull movie free of charge on the respected platform known as 123Movies. Immerse yourself in the captivating experience of The Fall Guy by watching it online for free. Alternatively, you can also enjoy the movie by downloading it in high definition. Enhance your movie viewing experience by watching The Fall Guy on 123movies, a trusted source for online movie streaming.

Still Now Here Option to Downloading or Watching The Fall Guy Full Movie Streamings Online for Free. Do you like movies? If so, then you’ll love the New Action Movie: The Fall Guy. This movie is one of the best in its genre. The Fall Guy will be available to Watch Online on Netflix very soon
Offers a versatile means to access its cinematic wonder From heartfelt songs to buoyant humor this genre-bending work explores the power of friendship to upThe Fall Guy communities during troubling times Directed with nuanced color and vivacious animation lighter moments are blended seamlessly with touching introspection Cinephiles and casual fans alike will find their spirits The Fall Guyed by this inspirational story of diverse characters joining in solidarity Why not spend an evening immersed in the vibrant world of The Fall Guy? Don’t miss out! #The Fall Guy Movie
** LAST UPDATED : MAY 19, 2024.**
Crunchyroll. is continuing to beat out Crunchyroll. and Crunchyroll, over the New Year’s holiday weekend, with “The Fall Guy” now rising above “The Fall Guy” and “The Fall Guy.” With that trifecta, the studio has laid claim to the three of the top five slots at the domestic box office throughout the holiday season.
The Timothéee Chalamet-starring musical added another $8.6 million on Friday, up 32% from one week ago. The Paul King film has emerged as the theatrical favorite for the holidays, crossing $100 million domestically earlier this week. With a $119 million cume to date, the film continues to show strength and will reach $300 million globally before the calendar turns.
Though it slid into second place for Friday with $6.75 million, Crunchyroll. “The Fall Guy” fell 51% from its opening day last week. The latest and final entry in the current continuity of DC Comics adaptations has struggled for air, only reaching $65 million in its first week of release. The first “Aquaman,” released in 2018, surpassed that figure in its opening weekend alone. Bad reviews and superhero fatigue have plagued “Lost Kingdom,” which more than likely won’t even reach half the $335 million domestic total of its predecessor, much less justify a $205 million production budget.
Taking a close third place, Illumination and Crunchyroll’s“The Fall Guy” is maintaining its footing with $6.7 Friday after a muted $12 million debut lastweekend. “The Fall Guy” has underwhelmed so far, but its 17% increase over last Friday remains encouraging, especially for an original animated film with a production budget of only $70 million.
However,Here’s when you can bring The Fall Guy of Atlantis into your home.
Where and Can I Stream The Fall Guy? Is The Fall Guy Be Streaming?
The new "The Fall Guy" prequel The Fall Guy will be available for streaming first on Starz for subscribers Later on the movie will also be released on PeacockThanks to the agreement between distributor Crunchyroll and the NBC Crunchyroll streaming platform Determining the exact arrival date of the movie is a slightly more complex matter Typically Crunchyroll movies like John Wick 4 take approximately six months to become available on Starz where they tend to remain for a considerable period As for when Songbirds Snakes will be accessible on Peacock it could take nearly a year after its release although we will only receive confirmation once Crunchyroll makes an official announcement However if you The Fall Guy to watch the movie even earlier you can rent it on Video on Demand (VOD) which will likely be available before the streaming date on Starz
Where Can I Stream the Original The Fall Guy Movies in the Meantime?
In the meantime you can currently stream all four original The Fall Guy movies on Peacock until the end of November The availability of The Fall Guy movies onPeacock varies depending on the month so make sure to take advantage of the current availability
How To Watch The Fall Guy In English Online For Free:
As of now, the only way to watch The Fall Guy is to head out to a movie theater when it releases on Friday, September 8. You can find a local showing onFandango. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait until it becomes available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Vudu, Apple, YouTube, and Amazon or available to stream on Max. The Fall Guy is still currently in theaters if you want to experience all the film’s twists and turns in a traditional cinema. But there’s also now an option to watch the film at home. As of November 25, 2024, The Fall Guy is available on HBO Max. Only those with a subscription to the service can watch the movie. Because the film is distributed by 20th Century Studios, it’s one of the last films of the year to head to HBO Max due to a streaming deal in lieu of Disney acquiring 20th Century Studios, as Variety reports. At the end of 2024, 20th Century Studios’ films will head to Hulu or Disney+ once they leave theaters.
Is The Fall Guy Movie on Netflix, Crunchyroll, Hulu, or Amazon Prime?
Netflix: The Fall Guy is currently not available on Netflix. However, fans of dark fantasy films can explore other thrilling options such as Doctor Strange to keep themselves entertained.
Crunchyroll: Crunchyroll and Funimation have acquired the rights to distribute The Fall Guy in North America. Stay tuned for its release on the platform inthe coming months. In the meantime, indulge in dark fantasy shows like Spider-man to fulfill your entertainment needs.
Hulu: Unfortunately, The Fall Guy is not available for streaming on Hulu. However, Hulu offers a variety of other exciting options like Afro Samurai Resurrection or Ninja Scroll to keep you entertained.
Disney+: The Fall Guy is not currently available for streaming on Disney+. Fans will have to wait until late December, when it is expected to be released on theplatform. Disney typically releases its films on Disney+ around 45-60 days after their theatrical release, ensuring an immersive cinematic experience for viewers.
IS The Fall Guy ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO?
The Fall Guy movie could eventually be available to watch on Prime Video, though it will likely be a paid digital release rather than being included with anAmazon Prime subscription. This means that rather than watching the movie as part of an existing subscription fee, you may have to pay money to rent the movie digitally on Amazon. However, Crunchyroll. and Amazon have yet to discuss whether or not this will be the case.
WHEN WILL ‘The Fall Guy’, BE AVAILABLE DVD AND BLU-RAY?
As of right now, we don’t know. While the film will eventually land on Blu-ray, DVD, and 4KUltraHD, Crunchyroll has yet to reveal a specific date as to when that would be. The first Nun film also premiered in theaters in early September and was released on Blu-ray and DVD in December. Our best guess is that the sequel will follow a similar path and will be available around the holiday season.
HERE’S HOW TO WATCH ‘The Fall Guy’ ONLINE STREAMING IN AUSTRALIA
To watch ‘The Fall Guy’ (2024) for free online streaming in Australia and New Zealand, you can explore options like gomovies.one and gomovies.today, as mentioned in the search results. However, please note that the legality and safety of using such websites may vary, so exercise caution when accessing them. Additionally, you can check if the movie is available on popular streaming platforms like Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video, as they often offer a wide selection of movies and TV.
Mark your calendars for July 8th, as that’s when The Fall Guy will be available on Disney+. This highly anticipated installment inthe franchise is packed with thrilling action and adventure, promising to captivate audiences and leave them craving for more. Captivate audiences and leave them craving for more.
Here is a comprehensive guide on how to watch The Fall Guy online in its entirety from the comfort of your own home. You can access thefull movie free of charge on the respected platform known as 123Movies. Immerse yourself in the captivating experience of The Fall Guy by watching it online for free. Alternatively, you can also enjoy the movie by downloading it in high definition. Enhance your movie viewing experience by watching The Fall Guy on 123movies, a trusted source for online movie streaming.

Still Now Here Option to Downloading or Watching The Fall Guy Full Movie Streamings Online for Free. Do you like movies? If so, then you’ll love the New Action Movie: The Fall Guy. This movie is one of the best in its genre. The Fall Guy will be available to Watch Online on Netflix very soon
Offers a versatile means to access its cinematic wonder From heartfelt songs to buoyant humor this genre-bending work explores the power of friendship to upThe Fall Guy communities during troubling times Directed with nuanced color and vivacious animation lighter moments are blended seamlessly with touching introspection Cinephiles and casual fans alike will find their spirits The Fall Guyed by this inspirational story of diverse characters joining in solidarity Why not spend an evening immersed in the vibrant world of The Fall Guy? Don’t miss out! #The Fall Guy Movie
** LAST UPDATED : MAY 19, 2024.**
Crunchyroll. is continuing to beat out Crunchyroll. and Crunchyroll, over the New Year’s holiday weekend, with “The Fall Guy” now rising above “The Fall Guy” and “The Fall Guy.” With that trifecta, the studio has laid claim to the three of the top five slots at the domestic box office throughout the holiday season.
The Timothéee Chalamet-starring musical added another $8.6 million on Friday, up 32% from one week ago. The Paul King film has emerged as the theatrical favorite for the holidays, crossing $100 million domestically earlier this week. With a $119 million cume to date, the film continues to show strength and will reach $300 million globally before the calendar turns.
Though it slid into second place for Friday with $6.75 million, Crunchyroll. “The Fall Guy” fell 51% from its opening day last week. The latest and final entry in the current continuity of DC Comics adaptations has struggled for air, only reaching $65 million in its first week of release. The first “Aquaman,” released in 2018, surpassed that figure in its opening weekend alone. Bad reviews and superhero fatigue have plagued “Lost Kingdom,” which more than likely won’t even reach half the $335 million domestic total of its predecessor, much less justify a $205 million production budget.
Taking a close third place, Illumination and Crunchyroll’s“The Fall Guy” is maintaining its footing with $6.7 Friday after a muted $12 million debut lastweekend. “The Fall Guy” has underwhelmed so far, but its 17% increase over last Friday remains encouraging, especially for an original animated film with a production budget of only $70 million.
However,Here’s when you can bring The Fall Guy of Atlantis into your home.
Where and Can I Stream The Fall Guy? Is The Fall Guy Be Streaming?
The new "The Fall Guy" prequel The Fall Guy will be available for streaming first on Starz for subscribers Later on the movie will also be released on PeacockThanks to the agreement between distributor Crunchyroll and the NBC Crunchyroll streaming platform Determining the exact arrival date of the movie is a slightly more complex matter Typically Crunchyroll movies like John Wick 4 take approximately six months to become available on Starz where they tend to remain for a considerable period As for when Songbirds Snakes will be accessible on Peacock it could take nearly a year after its release although we will only receive confirmation once Crunchyroll makes an official announcement However if you The Fall Guy to watch the movie even earlier you can rent it on Video on Demand (VOD) which will likely be available before the streaming date on Starz
Where Can I Stream the Original The Fall Guy Movies in the Meantime?
In the meantime you can currently stream all four original The Fall Guy movies on Peacock until the end of November The availability of The Fall Guy movies onPeacock varies depending on the month so make sure to take advantage of the current availability
How To Watch The Fall Guy In English Online For Free:
As of now, the only way to watch The Fall Guy is to head out to a movie theater when it releases on Friday, September 8. You can find a local showing onFandango. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait until it becomes available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Vudu, Apple, YouTube, and Amazon or available to stream on Max. The Fall Guy is still currently in theaters if you want to experience all the film’s twists and turns in a traditional cinema. But there’s also now an option to watch the film at home. As of November 25, 2024, The Fall Guy is available on HBO Max. Only those with a subscription to the service can watch the movie. Because the film is distributed by 20th Century Studios, it’s one of the last films of the year to head to HBO Max due to a streaming deal in lieu of Disney acquiring 20th Century Studios, as Variety reports. At the end of 2024, 20th Century Studios’ films will head to Hulu or Disney+ once they leave theaters.
Is The Fall Guy Movie on Netflix, Crunchyroll, Hulu, or Amazon Prime?
Netflix: The Fall Guy is currently not available on Netflix. However, fans of dark fantasy films can explore other thrilling options such as Doctor Strange to keep themselves entertained.
Crunchyroll: Crunchyroll and Funimation have acquired the rights to distribute The Fall Guy in North America. Stay tuned for its release on the platform inthe coming months. In the meantime, indulge in dark fantasy shows like Spider-man to fulfill your entertainment needs.
Hulu: Unfortunately, The Fall Guy is not available for streaming on Hulu. However, Hulu offers a variety of other exciting options like Afro Samurai Resurrection or Ninja Scroll to keep you entertained.
Disney+: The Fall Guy is not currently available for streaming on Disney+. Fans will have to wait until late December, when it is expected to be released on theplatform. Disney typically releases its films on Disney+ around 45-60 days after their theatrical release, ensuring an immersive cinematic experience for viewers.
IS The Fall Guy ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO?
The Fall Guy movie could eventually be available to watch on Prime Video, though it will likely be a paid digital release rather than being included with anAmazon Prime subscription. This means that rather than watching the movie as part of an existing subscription fee, you may have to pay money to rent the movie digitally on Amazon. However, Crunchyroll. and Amazon have yet to discuss whether or not this will be the case.
WHEN WILL ‘The Fall Guy’, BE AVAILABLE DVD AND BLU-RAY?
As of right now, we don’t know. While the film will eventually land on Blu-ray, DVD, and 4KUltraHD, Crunchyroll has yet to reveal a specific date as to when that would be. The first Nun film also premiered in theaters in early September and was released on Blu-ray and DVD in December. Our best guess is that the sequel will follow a similar path and will be available around the holiday season.
HERE’S HOW TO WATCH ‘The Fall Guy’ ONLINE STREAMING IN AUSTRALIA
To watch ‘The Fall Guy’ (2024) for free online streaming in Australia and New Zealand, you can explore options like gomovies.one and gomovies.today, as mentioned in the search results. However, please note that the legality and safety of using such websites may vary, so exercise caution when accessing them. Additionally, you can check if the movie is available on popular streaming platforms like Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video, as they often offer a wide selection of movies and TV.
Mark your calendars for July 8th, as that’s when The Fall Guy will be available on Disney+. This highly anticipated installment inthe franchise is packed with thrilling action and adventure, promising to captivate audiences and leave them craving for more. Captivate audiences and leave them craving for more.
Here is a comprehensive guide on how to watch The Fall Guy online in its entirety from the comfort of your own home. You can access thefull movie free of charge on the respected platform known as 123Movies. Immerse yourself in the captivating experience of The Fall Guy by watching it online for free. Alternatively, you can also enjoy the movie by downloading it in high definition. Enhance your movie viewing experience by watching The Fall Guy on 123movies, a trusted source for online movie streaming.

Still Now Here Option to Downloading or Watching The Fall Guy Full Movie Streamings Online for Free. Do you like movies? If so, then you’ll love the New Action Movie: The Fall Guy. This movie is one of the best in its genre. The Fall Guy will be available to Watch Online on Netflix very soon
Offers a versatile means to access its cinematic wonder From heartfelt songs to buoyant humor this genre-bending work explores the power of friendship to upThe Fall Guy communities during troubling times Directed with nuanced color and vivacious animation lighter moments are blended seamlessly with touching introspection Cinephiles and casual fans alike will find their spirits The Fall Guyed by this inspirational story of diverse characters joining in solidarity Why not spend an evening immersed in the vibrant world of The Fall Guy? Don’t miss out! #The Fall Guy Movie
** LAST UPDATED : MAY 19, 2024.**
Crunchyroll. is continuing to beat out Crunchyroll. and Crunchyroll, over the New Year’s holiday weekend, with “The Fall Guy” now rising above “The Fall Guy” and “The Fall Guy.” With that trifecta, the studio has laid claim to the three of the top five slots at the domestic box office throughout the holiday season.
The Timothéee Chalamet-starring musical added another $8.6 million on Friday, up 32% from one week ago. The Paul King film has emerged as the theatrical favorite for the holidays, crossing $100 million domestically earlier this week. With a $119 million cume to date, the film continues to show strength and will reach $300 million globally before the calendar turns.
Though it slid into second place for Friday with $6.75 million, Crunchyroll. “The Fall Guy” fell 51% from its opening day last week. The latest and final entry in the current continuity of DC Comics adaptations has struggled for air, only reaching $65 million in its first week of release. The first “Aquaman,” released in 2018, surpassed that figure in its opening weekend alone. Bad reviews and superhero fatigue have plagued “Lost Kingdom,” which more than likely won’t even reach half the $335 million domestic total of its predecessor, much less justify a $205 million production budget.
Taking a close third place, Illumination and Crunchyroll’s“The Fall Guy” is maintaining its footing with $6.7 Friday after a muted $12 million debut lastweekend. “The Fall Guy” has underwhelmed so far, but its 17% increase over last Friday remains encouraging, especially for an original animated film with a production budget of only $70 million.
However,Here’s when you can bring The Fall Guy of Atlantis into your home.
Where and Can I Stream The Fall Guy? Is The Fall Guy Be Streaming?
The new "The Fall Guy" prequel The Fall Guy will be available for streaming first on Starz for subscribers Later on the movie will also be released on PeacockThanks to the agreement between distributor Crunchyroll and the NBC Crunchyroll streaming platform Determining the exact arrival date of the movie is a slightly more complex matter Typically Crunchyroll movies like John Wick 4 take approximately six months to become available on Starz where they tend to remain for a considerable period As for when Songbirds Snakes will be accessible on Peacock it could take nearly a year after its release although we will only receive confirmation once Crunchyroll makes an official announcement However if you The Fall Guy to watch the movie even earlier you can rent it on Video on Demand (VOD) which will likely be available before the streaming date on Starz
Where Can I Stream the Original The Fall Guy Movies in the Meantime?
In the meantime you can currently stream all four original The Fall Guy movies on Peacock until the end of November The availability of The Fall Guy movies onPeacock varies depending on the month so make sure to take advantage of the current availability
How To Watch The Fall Guy In English Online For Free:
As of now, the only way to watch The Fall Guy is to head out to a movie theater when it releases on Friday, September 8. You can find a local showing onFandango. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait until it becomes available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Vudu, Apple, YouTube, and Amazon or available to stream on Max. The Fall Guy is still currently in theaters if you want to experience all the film’s twists and turns in a traditional cinema. But there’s also now an option to watch the film at home. As of November 25, 2024, The Fall Guy is available on HBO Max. Only those with a subscription to the service can watch the movie. Because the film is distributed by 20th Century Studios, it’s one of the last films of the year to head to HBO Max due to a streaming deal in lieu of Disney acquiring 20th Century Studios, as Variety reports. At the end of 2024, 20th Century Studios’ films will head to Hulu or Disney+ once they leave theaters.
Is The Fall Guy Movie on Netflix, Crunchyroll, Hulu, or Amazon Prime?
Netflix: The Fall Guy is currently not available on Netflix. However, fans of dark fantasy films can explore other thrilling options such as Doctor Strange to keep themselves entertained.
Crunchyroll: Crunchyroll and Funimation have acquired the rights to distribute The Fall Guy in North America. Stay tuned for its release on the platform inthe coming months. In the meantime, indulge in dark fantasy shows like Spider-man to fulfill your entertainment needs.
Hulu: Unfortunately, The Fall Guy is not available for streaming on Hulu. However, Hulu offers a variety of other exciting options like Afro Samurai Resurrection or Ninja Scroll to keep you entertained.
Disney+: The Fall Guy is not currently available for streaming on Disney+. Fans will have to wait until late December, when it is expected to be released on theplatform. Disney typically releases its films on Disney+ around 45-60 days after their theatrical release, ensuring an immersive cinematic experience for viewers.
IS The Fall Guy ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO?
The Fall Guy movie could eventually be available to watch on Prime Video, though it will likely be a paid digital release rather than being included with anAmazon Prime subscription. This means that rather than watching the movie as part of an existing subscription fee, you may have to pay money to rent the movie digitally on Amazon. However, Crunchyroll. and Amazon have yet to discuss whether or not this will be the case.
WHEN WILL ‘The Fall Guy’, BE AVAILABLE DVD AND BLU-RAY?
As of right now, we don’t know. While the film will eventually land on Blu-ray, DVD, and 4KUltraHD, Crunchyroll has yet to reveal a specific date as to when that would be. The first Nun film also premiered in theaters in early September and was released on Blu-ray and DVD in December. Our best guess is that the sequel will follow a similar path and will be available around the holiday season.
HERE’S HOW TO WATCH ‘The Fall Guy’ ONLINE STREAMING IN AUSTRALIA
To watch ‘The Fall Guy’ (2024) for free online streaming in Australia and New Zealand, you can explore options like gomovies.one and gomovies.today, as mentioned in the search results. However, please note that the legality and safety of using such websites may vary, so exercise caution when accessing them. Additionally, you can check if the movie is available on popular streaming platforms like Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video, as they often offer a wide selection of movies and TV.
Mark your calendars for July 8th, as that’s when The Fall Guy will be available on Disney+. This highly anticipated installment inthe franchise is packed with thrilling action and adventure, promising to captivate audiences and leave them craving for more. Captivate audiences and leave them craving for more.
Here is a comprehensive guide on how to watch The Fall Guy online in its entirety from the comfort of your own home. You can access thefull movie free of charge on the respected platform known as 123Movies. Immerse yourself in the captivating experience of The Fall Guy by watching it online for free. Alternatively, you can also enjoy the movie by downloading it in high definition. Enhance your movie viewing experience by watching The Fall Guy on 123movies, a trusted source for online movie streaming.

I made a map of bike routes in and around Vancouver, with videos: https://kr-matthews.github.io/bike-route-map/
Features:

• A zoom-able map, with several 'background' OSM maps to choose from.
• Segments are colour-coded by type (physically separated, quiet street, painted lane, shared lane, shoulder).
• Segments show whether they are one-way, two-way, or one-way-recommended (for example, Heather bike route around 49th, which splits northbound vs southbound).
• A legend to explain the above.
• Filter by segment type (for example, only show physically separated and quiet streets).
• Routes are labelled (to match 'official' routes/names, as best as I can tell), and hovering over one highlights the whole route.
• Routes can be opened to show more details, such as distance, proportion of types (separated, quiet, etc.), and videos.
• Many but not all routes (it's a work in progress) have videos attached to them, so you can see exactly what a particular part of a route is like.
• Right-click on a segment to get a video (if one exists), with the specific path highlighted. Videos have chapters to make it easier to find a specific portion.
• Show your current location (works best on mobile).

Note: most of these features are only available on a sufficiently-large screen (ie not a phone) due to screen space issues.
I think videos are more useful than google maps street view, because you can get a better sense of traffic (flow and speed) and the video guides you along the route whereas in street view you might not know where you're meant to be/go.
I've stuck to official routes/infrastructure, and not included unofficial routes. The map's not perfect, and I know the data isn't 100% accurate (for example, Bute and Chilco have some physically separated half-blocks in reality, but the whole thing is just marked as 'quiet street' on my map for simplicity). But I don't think any existing discrepancies are confusing or would lead to misunderstandings. If you do see anything substantially incorrect, then let me know.
There are some routes missing around Steveston and at YVR, and there's almost nothing in North/West Vancouver. Will I add those? Maybe/probably at some point, in that order of priority. But the bigger it gets, the harder it is to maintain.
There are lots of single-block protected bike lanes on random streets (especially in Burnaby); presumably these will form a good network many decades from now, as each block is individually redeveloped, but for now they are pretty useless so I haven't included things like that on the map (for the most part).
Other relevant cycling maps:

• Official Vancouver map: https://vancouver.ca/files/cov/map-cycling-vancouver.pdf
• Official Vancouver bikeway dataset: https://opendata.vancouver.ca/explore/dataset/bikeways/information/
• Translink: https://www.translink.ca/-/media/translink/documents/rider-guide/cycling/2021-cycling-maps/tl-cyclerouteseastwest_v2021web.pdf
• CyclOSM: https://www.cyclosm.org/

On a related note, while filming these routes I saw a lot of bad driving, and compiled clips of that periodically. It's a bit worrying how easy it is to maintain a driver's license. Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhvOVsa597oi4w2Me7vl5Rq6LCegM6Til
For the more technically inclined:

• I created all the data myself, rather than pulling it from an existing source like OSM. There are a few reasons for this. First, when I initially started this project, I wasn't planning on making it this big and detailed, I just wanted a relatively simple map to lay out my videos (the videos came before the map). But it slowly got more complex and detailed over time. Second, I didn't fully realize exactly what data OSM has and how it could be useful at the time. And third, I'm not sure how to attach videos to ways if those ways might be changed/different next time I fetch OSM data (or even if they haven't changed, how to maintain the association between ways and videos each fetch). If I were starting again today, I would try to use OSM data if possible.
• If you think that are already tons of bike maps out there, and adding yet another one isn't helpful and just means more data that needs to be updated, then that's a good point. However, I think this map provides several features that existing maps don't (videos, filtering, interactive route labelling). And I have been updating the OSM Vancouver data to reflect the data in my map; anything that I add to my map, I also try to check and update in OSM.

I sought oblivion and calm respite, my path forged through sensation and blinding excess. I explored depravity, ventured into the darkness never mapped, until I swept past Experience witnessed only by the gods.
Thus became I a voyager upon delights unknown, my ship named only, 'Sweet Departure.'
Erasma, the One we Forgot
It begins with hope...
An escape from the Kinstrife and the Fall of Cyr'Cairn. Refuge from the Wyrm Hunt and the retribution it brings on wings of fire. Safety from the Gallow Night - safety from the hell created piece by piece from our own hands. Something different, a chance for change amidst a world trapped in its clockwork permenance; forever onwards, forever forwards, no rest nor peace for the engine.
And it begins with hope, but by its very nature it cannot end the same way - hope either comes true...
Or it does not.
The ships have brought to sail - the great winds brings us ever further from the madness of our home caught in self-inflicted self-annihilation, and we march towards the great unknown knowing whatever secrets it hold must be better than the certainty of our past lives. Even in death we will bring discovery and new fortune, excitement, and most importantly...
We will bring hope - that the sins of our fathers are not the sins of the son. That the madness we flee is not carried within our every waking breath. Hope... Hope eternal that we are different than from what we were forged. Always hope...
Because only time will tell if it is true.
Welcome to The Eastland Expedition, a Pathfinder 2nd Edition Campaign for 4-5 Players set in the Homebrew setting of Clockworld that has recently started and is in need of new players due to scheduling conflicts discovered early on. We are welcoming group who enjoy the social interaction, humour, and general companionship of the game - as much as we enjoy a serious story with well-defined characters taking part in an epic struggle of exploration and survival against the bleak unknown.
This campaign features our party, freshly set sail from the distant west of Amilyn - voyaging to a new world across the Ashuran Ocean in search of... Wealth? Power? Glory? A chance to be part of something great? The character's motives are as varied as the novelities we shall discover, from blackguards of bitter repute to knights in shining armour and gallant repose to mercenaries and thrill-seekers without a care for anything but the chance to make it somewhere else.
The story will take us across the breadth of the New World in discovery of where it is you have landed - feature the political difficulties of bridging your patron's desires with the necessity of surviving in a realm that does not welcome you, and more important - the freedom to not just build your nation and settlement as you see fit, but to impact the very story of Clockworld itself.
This game is welcoming to players new to the system, as we as a group ourselves have only recently started to learn the game - and we are happy to learn alongside you. I am a relaxed and patient Storyteller who enjoys the social fabric of OOC conversation as much as the in-game narrative - provided it does not serve to derail the campaign too much. I am happy to answer questions as often as needed, and provided any explanations regarding the rules or lore as required; no matter how simple the request might be.
My door is always open - and I am happy to field any feedback, criticisms or complaints that you may have. I do my utmost to ensure this is a safe game where everyone can have fun and relax. As part of this, we are entirely LGBTQ+ Friendly, and the setting itself is free for characters of all persuasions, creeds, and ethnicities. This is a Flat-World Fantasy set upon a Giant Clock - as long as the characters fit within the general fabric of the setting, there will be no complaints.
Since I do put a lot of effort into my campaings - from the World Anvil I maintain to the battlemaps and the effort required to create a story as wide-reaching and free as this; I do expect a certain modicum of respect in return. Primarily, while real life must always come first - repeated lateness and missed sessions without a good reason can cause me great difficulty in keeping the rhythm and momentum of the story, and will not be appreciated over any extended period. The same can be said to rudeness aimed at other players, and while I understand humour can take a while to get used to, and come in many different styles - targeted harrassment will not be tolerated in the slightest, and you will be removed from the game.
Lastly - the game will detail violence and graphic content. Concepts such as homophobia, transphobia, and sexisim do not exist within the setting as I do not feel I could give them due deference with the story I am telling, and while mental illness and addiction may feature - I will only do so when I feel I can treat them with the respect and seriousness the conditions deserve. Any limits provided to me by players however, will be respected immediately; without any explanation required - and a red card system is utilised should a scene stray too close to a previous-stated limit, or steps upon something that was not discussed prior but is causing distress. At any point this is happening, you may message either me or the server and we will immediately end the scene and discuss where we went wrong - so that we can avoid such a thing occuring again.
If this rambling wall of text did not put you off - then please feel free to leave a comment or send me a DM with your interest in the campaign. The application is mostly up for you to determine - though at least a vague concept of a character and a reason this campaign drew you to apply would be appreciated. You may send a Reddit Chat - but I cannot guarantee I will see the message quickly.
Should I like what I see, I will send an invitation for a brief interview to see how we get along as player and storyteller. There is nothing to prepare, just a simple chat with a few questions to get a baseline for each other and whether we'll be a good fit.
The game will be taking place on Discord and Foundry - Characters will be starting at Level Two in line with the rest of the party, and all classes are available to be played. Where possible we will be sticking with Player Core Content, but where Legacy Options exist that have not yet been updated, we will be open to including them as well.
Thank you all very much for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
World Map
Player Guide

I sought oblivion and calm respite, my path forged through sensation and blinding excess. I explored depravity, ventured into the darkness never mapped, until I swept past Experience witnessed only by the gods.
Thus became I a voyager upon delights unknown, my ship named only, 'Sweet Departure.'
Erasma, the One we Forgot
It begins with hope...
An escape from the Kinstrife and the Fall of Cyr'Cairn. Refuge from the Wyrm Hunt and the retribution it brings on wings of fire. Safety from the Gallow Night - safety from the hell created piece by piece from our own hands. Something different, a chance for change amidst a world trapped in its clockwork permenance; forever onwards, forever forwards, no rest nor peace for the engine.
And it begins with hope, but by its very nature it cannot end the same way - hope either comes true...
Or it does not.
The ships have brought to sail - the great winds brings us ever further from the madness of our home caught in self-inflicted self-annihilation, and we march towards the great unknown knowing whatever secrets it hold must be better than the certainty of our past lives. Even in death we will bring discovery and new fortune, excitement, and most importantly...
We will bring hope - that the sins of our fathers are not the sins of the son. That the madness we flee is not carried within our every waking breath. Hope... Hope eternal that we are different than from what we were forged. Always hope...
Because only time will tell if it is true.
Welcome to The Eastland Expedition, a Pathfinder 2nd Edition Campaign for 4-5 Players set in the Homebrew setting of Clockworld that has recently started and is in need of new players due to scheduling conflicts discovered early on. We are welcoming group who enjoy the social interaction, humour, and general companionship of the game - as much as we enjoy a serious story with well-defined characters taking part in an epic struggle of exploration and survival against the bleak unknown.
This campaign features our party, freshly set sail from the distant west of Amilyn - voyaging to a new world across the Ashuran Ocean in search of... Wealth? Power? Glory? A chance to be part of something great? The character's motives are as varied as the novelities we shall discover, from blackguards of bitter repute to knights in shining armour and gallant repose to mercenaries and thrill-seekers without a care for anything but the chance to make it somewhere else.
The story will take us across the breadth of the New World in discovery of where it is you have landed - feature the political difficulties of bridging your patron's desires with the necessity of surviving in a realm that does not welcome you, and more important - the freedom to not just build your nation and settlement as you see fit, but to impact the very story of Clockworld itself.
This game is welcoming to players new to the system, as we as a group ourselves have only recently started to learn the game - and we are happy to learn alongside you. I am a relaxed and patient Storyteller who enjoys the social fabric of OOC conversation as much as the in-game narrative - provided it does not serve to derail the campaign too much. I am happy to answer questions as often as needed, and provided any explanations regarding the rules or lore as required; no matter how simple the request might be.
My door is always open - and I am happy to field any feedback, criticisms or complaints that you may have. I do my utmost to ensure this is a safe game where everyone can have fun and relax. As part of this, we are entirely LGBTQ+ Friendly, and the setting itself is free for characters of all persuasions, creeds, and ethnicities. This is a Flat-World Fantasy set upon a Giant Clock - as long as the characters fit within the general fabric of the setting, there will be no complaints.
Since I do put a lot of effort into my campaings - from the World Anvil I maintain to the battlemaps and the effort required to create a story as wide-reaching and free as this; I do expect a certain modicum of respect in return. Primarily, while real life must always come first - repeated lateness and missed sessions without a good reason can cause me great difficulty in keeping the rhythm and momentum of the story, and will not be appreciated over any extended period. The same can be said to rudeness aimed at other players, and while I understand humour can take a while to get used to, and come in many different styles - targeted harrassment will not be tolerated in the slightest, and you will be removed from the game.
Lastly - the game will detail violence and graphic content. Concepts such as homophobia, transphobia, and sexisim do not exist within the setting as I do not feel I could give them due deference with the story I am telling, and while mental illness and addiction may feature - I will only do so when I feel I can treat them with the respect and seriousness the conditions deserve. Any limits provided to me by players however, will be respected immediately; without any explanation required - and a red card system is utilised should a scene stray too close to a previous-stated limit, or steps upon something that was not discussed prior but is causing distress. At any point this is happening, you may message either me or the server and we will immediately end the scene and discuss where we went wrong - so that we can avoid such a thing occuring again.
If this rambling wall of text did not put you off - then please feel free to leave a comment or send me a DM with your interest in the campaign. The application is mostly up for you to determine - though at least a vague concept of a character and a reason this campaign drew you to apply would be appreciated. You may send a Reddit Chat - but I cannot guarantee I will see the message quickly.
Should I like what I see, I will send an invitation for a brief interview to see how we get along as player and storyteller. There is nothing to prepare, just a simple chat with a few questions to get a baseline for each other and whether we'll be a good fit.
The game will be taking place on Discord and Foundry - Characters will be starting at Level Two in line with the rest of the party, and all classes are available to be played. Where possible we will be sticking with Player Core Content, but where Legacy Options exist that have not yet been updated, we will be open to including them as well.
Thank you all very much for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
World Map
Player Guide

In a fascinating study, evidenced for a possible landing sight for Lehi in America has been discovered within easy travel distance to Palmyra, NY. If substantiated, it could add weight to an Atlantic migration, the controversial Solutrean Hypothesis, in addition to the traditional Siberian route. https://www.washingtonpost.com/science/2024/05/19/first-americans-chesapeake-parsons-island/
The link is behind a pay wall. Here’s the article
PARSONS ISLAND, Md. — With the Chesapeake Bay sloshing at his knee-high boots, Darrin Lowery stood back and squinted at a 10-foot-tall bluff rising above a narrow strip of beach. To the untrained eye, this wall of sandy sediment is the unremarkable edge of a modest island southeast of the Bay Bridge. To Lowery, a coastal geologist, its crumbling layers put the island at the center of one of the most contentious battles in archaeology: when and how humans first made their way into the Americas. The story of the first Americans has long been a matter of public and scientific fascination, undergirded at times by vicious disagreements. The timeline of when people arrived has shifted earlier in grudging steps over the past century, and scientists today mostly agree people were in the Americas at least 15,000 years ago. Story continues below advertisement
Lowery’s site and others like it could revise the story again, pushing back the timeline earlier than most experts thought possible. In total, Lowery and a motley crew of collaborators have discovered 286 artifacts from the site on the island’s southwestern edge. The oldest, they reported, was embedded with charcoal dated to more than 22,000 years ago, a time when much of the continent would have been covered in ice sheets. If Lowery is right, Parsons Island could rewrite American prehistory, opening up a host of new puzzles: How did those people get here? How many waves of early migration were there? And are these mysterious people the ancestors of Native Americans?
Casts of tools found at Parsons Island are seen on display. Lowery and his team have unearthed 286 artifacts from the site so far. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) New claims of sites dated this far back face a wall of skepticism, rooted in legitimate scientific scrutiny and in the threat they pose to long-entrenched views. To complicate matters, Lowery — who has been affiliated with the Smithsonian but does much of his work independently — presented the results of his study of Parsons Island in a 260-page manuscript posted online rather than in a traditional peer-reviewed journal. The peer-review process is designed to help validate scientific claims, but Lowery argues that in archaeology it often leads to a circle-the-wagon mentality, allowing scientists to wave away evidence that doesn’t support the dominant paradigm. He says he isn’t seeking formal publishing routes because “life’s too short,” comparing this aspect of academic science to “the dumbest game I’ve ever played.”
The island is also a challenging site to study for a variety of reasons — most poignantly because it is rapidly eroding as the land subsides and sea level rises. The spot where the artifacts were found is now covered by the choppy waters of the bay. “The visit reinforced my will to invest my time into this time period, because it’s a very fragile record,” said Sebastien Lacombe, an archaeologist at Binghamton University, who visited the island in 2017. “It’s at risk of disappearing, and we’re at risk of [allowing] these sites and artifacts to lose their meaning forever.” ‘A weirdo kid’
Darrin Lowery walks a beach on Parsons Island. Most of the artifacts were excavated by erosion, discovered on the beach after they had already fallen out of the bluff. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery began exploring the Chesapeake shoreline as a child, wandering his backyard on Tilghman Island, about 15 miles southwest from Parsons Island. In 1977, 9-year-old Lowery picked up a distinctive fluted stone projectile point. A few years later, he saw something similar on a documentary on public television, in which a Smithsonian archaeologist explained it was a Clovis point, a relic of what most people then believed were the first Americans. For the last half of the 20th century, the peopling of the Americas followed a tidy narrative. Humans traveled from Siberia across a land bridge that connected Asia and North America during the last Ice Age, when sea levels dropped. They then migrated southward around 13,000 years ago, when the ice sheets covering the continent retreated and exposed a previously impassable inland route. These people — named after a site in Clovis, N.M. — left behind distinctive, fluted stone points that have since been found scattered across North America. Story continues below advertisement
Lowery turned to his dad and said, “I found one of those.” He found more by walking the shoreline every day. Lowery made discoveries as he meandered, and he began to understand how seasonal patterns, sediment movement, wind and waves could unearth ancient treasures. “I was a weirdo kid,” he recalled. He trained as a geologist, and it was geology that initially attracted Lowery to study Parsons Island. In 2010, he published an article in Quaternary Science Reviews describing layers of windblown silt deposited between 13,000 and 41,000 years ago at Miles Point in eastern Maryland. But the geological record is like reading the CliffsNotes version of a book, and he was frustrated by an “unconformity” in the sediment layers where thousands of years were missing, like someone had ripped out those chapters.
Parsons Island is rapidly eroding. The archaeological site is now covered by the Chesapeake Bay. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery and a colleague were prowling around in a whaler, looking for a spot that might fill in the blanks, when they spotted a black streak of sediment rising up out of the bay. They pulled up to Parsons Island and thought they had found “the Rosetta stone” to decode the geology. Parsons is a 78-acre island less than a mile offshore that is privately owned by the Corckran family, which uses it as a family retreat. With the Corckrans’ permission, Lowery and colleagues began to visit regularly. The bluff layers preserved a remarkably intact geologic timeline going back more than 40,000 years. Then, one morning in August 2013, the team discovered a leaf-shaped prehistoric stone tool jutting out of this crumbling wall. They knew from the work they’d already done that it was probably quite old. Story continues below advertisement
On a recent visit to the island, geoarchaeologist Daniel Wagner demonstrated why. He stepped back to scan the cliff, then tapped a narrow spade into a light tan sediment layer just above his head. That, he said, is the geologic “chapter” where they’d expect to find Clovis artifacts. Lower layers were set down before Clovis. The palm-size tool Lowery and his colleague found came out of the dark sediment layer near their knees. The scientists used two methods to date the sediment around the artifact, both showing it was more than 20,000 years old. They scoured the beach on 93 visits and conducted a formal, top-down excavation, collecting the 286 artifacts. They sent out sediment to labs that specialize in studying ancient pollen and microfossils called phytoliths to help reconstruct the ecosystem at the time. Back then, this region wouldn’t have been a coastline. The sediment the tools are embedded in dates to the “last glacial maximum” — the scientific term for the most recent coldest period of the Ice Age. In the final analysis, Lowery thinks the artifacts may have been transported downslope before they were buried, making them between 15,000 and 20,500 years old. “This was a swale, where water was collecting,” Lowery said, envisioning the ancient landscape. “You’ve got a dune. It’s got sedges and small trees on it that are windblown and all contorted, and then behind it you’ve got a little pond.” That pond may have attracted prehistoric bison, musk ox and llamas, whose fossilized molars he’s found scattered on the island shore. And it may have been what attracted the mysterious people who left behind a cache of stone tools. A story in flux
Parsons Island is seen from nearby Kent Island in the Chesapeake Bay. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Parsons Island is the latest addition to a growing list of what are called pre-Clovis sites. But while the long-held “Clovis First” theory has crumbled over the past three decades, that has only deepened the debate about how much earlier the first Americans arrived. Claims of early sites present a challenge on two fronts. The first is technical: Dating a site convincingly can be difficult, depending on the context. Sediments can shift or be disturbed. What at first look like artifacts can turn out to be “geofacts,” created not by humans but by natural processes or animals. As a result, many pre-Clovis sites “enjoy a Warhol-esque 15 minutes of fame, and then they disappear” because of real problems with the geology or the methods, said archaeologist James Adovasio. In 1973, he began excavating Meadowcroft Rockshelter in Pennsylvania, which dated back 16,000 years. It was instantly mired in controversy, and the site still has its critics today. The second challenge reflects the culture of science. For a long time, people who claimed to find pre-Clovis sites were swimming upstream against deeply entrenched thinking. Tom Dillehay, an archaeologist at Vanderbilt University, began working on a site in southern Chile called Monte Verde in 1977, which was dated to 14,500 years ago. He recalled a group of researchers he calls the “Clovis police,” scientific gatekeepers who summarily rejected any pre-Clovis sites, sometimes for valid reasons and sometimes as a knee-jerk reaction. Monte Verde began to change that. In 1997, a group of respected archaeologists visited the site and declared it authentic. “It took about 25 to 30 years for Monte Verde to be accepted,” Dillehay said. “We went through hell.”
Holly, a German shorthaired pointer, runs across a bluff top on Parsons Island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery says he isn’t interested in running that gantlet. He noted that he drew on multiple labs and methods for dating the Parsons Island artifacts in an effort to ensure that any one extremely old date isn’t a fluke. He’s also invited other researchers in to visit and study the site. That approach irritates some scientists. David Meltzer, an archaeologist at Southern Methodist University, said in an email that he would not discuss Lowery’s claims “until they go through the wringer of peer review and get published.” Others like Stuart Fiedel, an independent archaeologist based in western Massachusetts who has been skeptical of other sites, say the site should not fly under the radar just because of Lowery’s unconventional process. Story continues below advertisement
“There are people I know in the field who will not pay any attention to it, because it has not been peer-reviewed, which I think is kind of sticking your head in the sand,” Fiedel said. “It’s there. We can’t act as [if] nothing’s been found there.” Share this article Share
A bigger issue may be the site’s rapid erosion. Most of the artifacts were found after they’d fallen out of the bluff, which means their place in the geologic timeline is obscured. Nine artifacts were found in place, and only three were able to be dated using charcoal flecks found next to them. Steven Forman, a geoscientist at Baylor University, helped date the sediment layers at Parsons Island, corroborating findings from another lab. He said that it’s hard to find the artifacts in the kind of bulletproof geological context needed to support extraordinary claims. “The case is not as tight as we like to see it with other sites,” Forman said. Michael Waters, an archaeologist at Texas A&M University who has worked on pre-Clovis sites and excavated at Parsons Island, thinks he probably got there too late, when most of the artifacts had already been eroded out. Still, he pays someone to monitor the bank profile on a regular basis, because he’s ready to jump on a plane if they see something in place. “Too bad we didn’t get there four to five years sooner,” Waters said. Enter ancient DNA
An ancient bovine tooth is among the fossils found so far on Parsons Island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Parsons Island isn’t the only site that could dramatically push back human arrival in the Americas. Last fall, a study published in the journal Science described fossilized human footprints discovered at White Sands National Park in New Mexico that have been dated to between 21,000 and 23,000 years ago. That stunning finding suggests people were here during the Ice Age — much earlier than most experts thought possible if the first humans arrived via the Bering land bridge and inland corridor. The dates at White Sands are still being disputed because of questions about the methods. But the timeline collides head-on with another exciting line of evidence: studies of ancient DNA. By examining genetic material preserved in bones and teeth and comparing those samples to modern populations, scientists have been able to track when populations mingled and became isolated from one another, offering a new window into patterns of human migration. Story continues below advertisement
In broad strokes, they’ve found that the ancestors of Native Americans split from ancient Siberian populations no earlier than 23,000 years ago. The studies can’t say where such splits took place, but many scientists interpret genetic evidence to mean that the ancestors of modern people weren’t in the Americas until much later. Genetic studies suggest that Native American ancestors traveled into what is now the United States between 17,500 and 14,600 years ago. Joe Watkins, a senior consultant for Archaeological and Cultural Education Consultants in Tucson and a Choctaw tribal member, said that he sees a few problems with using the still-evolving DNA evidence to decide how ancient sites are related to modern-day people. “The reality is genetics does not equal culture,” Watkins said. He also argued that there are still too few samples of ancient DNA in the Americas to be sure they capture the whole story. “Trying to create population histories based on 10 people, if you will, is a little bit of a scientific conundrum,” Watkins said. It could be that additional ancient genomes will one day help fill in the blanks. Another possibility is that earlier sites could represent small, isolated groups of people who didn’t contribute to the ancestry of living Native Americans.
A tree-lined path leads to a beach on Parsons Island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) “Let’s suppose you have a successful population colonizing an area, and then one day, 15 males go out and get eaten by a short-faced bear,” Lowery said. “You reduce the genetic diversity, and bada boom, bada bing, game over.” All this explodes the neat picture of one population migrating into the Americas as ice sheets retreated, hunting big animals like mammoths and giant sloths, driving them into extinction as they went. If there were small groups making their way into the New World, with different stone tool technologies, and far earlier than previously believed, how did they get here? People could have migrated along the coast by boat, following a “kelp highway.” It’s also possible the ice sheet was not as impenetrable as experts have long thought. Lowery’s longtime collaborator, Dennis Stanford, proposed that people crossed the Atlantic Ocean in what is known as the Solutrean Hypothesis, though that idea has been rejected by many archaeologists. To resolve the question, scientists need to keep looking for more evidence. Archaeology is a historical science, and unlike chemistry or biomedicine, where researchers can perform the same experiment over and over again to see if they get the same results, consensus is built by argument, counterargument and new evidence. To a certain extent, older ideas and prejudices also fall away as new people enter the field, said James Feathers, who performed dating on samples from Parsons Island before he retired from the University of Washington. “Sometimes you have to wait for people to die off,” Feathers said.
Alex Corckran, whose family owns Parsons Island, stands on a beach on the southern side of the island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery is determined to keep motoring around the Chesapeake, researching the ephemeral landscape that he loves and that may contain clues about human prehistory. He acknowledges that the sites, perhaps a little bit like him, are “persnickety” but that shouldn’t deter interest in them. Instead, it should spur more. He noted that if a pod of silverfish was found gnawing on documents in the National Archives, people would be galvanized to act. “I view it as my swan song,” Lowery said, “to say you can learn a lot from [an] eroding site if you do a little bit of effort and look at it systematically.”
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-My husband & I have been together for 8yr. Below is a timeline of my MIL issues starting when we first began dating, to now, several years married.
Before meeting my now-husbands mother, VERY early on in our relationship and before we were even official, his mother requested to follow me on all my social media accounts. I had not met her at the time and found it way too soon & creepy. Even at this point I got the initial feeling she was the type who forces levels of intimacy that she has not made the effort to genuinely attain.
-In the beginning I did make a concerted effort w/ his family. I quickly learned his Mother asks v. intrusive questions. It’s clear her questions aren’t genuine, but for the sole purpose of having ‘intel’. As if it’s ’information gathering’ for her benefit.
-The 2nd time meeting his mother she immediately asked me what year my parents got married. I told her I wasn’t sure & she began asking me if I knew what decade.. followed by questions re: my mom’s birthdate. Then she told me what she really wanted to know was my mom’s age (always an ulterior motive..). She was beyond giddy to discover she was younger than my mom. I told her my mom was slightly older than some of my peers mothers bc she had a daughter (my sister) before I was born who passed away and she had trouble conceiving afterwards. His mom didn’t react or respond to this as she was still so giddy to over the fact she was younger than my mom. Red flag..
-When my husband and I were first dating, he lived in a house w/ several guy friends. He was 26. Whenever we’d visit his family his mom would beg him to move back home so he could save money. I found this odd behavior for a mother wanting their son to grow & flourish as an adult.
-After a year & a half dating we decide to move in together. My future MIL pulls me to the side for a 1 on 1 conversation & tells me, “if things don’t work out, don't worry, there’s always a way to break a lease & get out of living together if things aren’t going well” (..why would things not go well…?). She continues on, quizzing me ab my prior relationships and how they ended. Before reverting back to the topic of me and her son moving in together, basically letting me know she didn’t approve. The conversation leaves me feeling unaccepted, awkward and gross, and I didn’t like how she’d treated me like a child when I was an adult with a great career and a lot going for me (it’s not like I’m some lost puppy with no hope/life goals). But! It made her feel important. I immediately told my partner how uncomfortable the conversation made me. He was upset and went to have a talk with her. In their conversation- she gaslights him, telling him she feels like she’s walking on eggshells w/ us & she did nothing wrong, we are so sensitive, how she doesn’t do anything right, etc.
-She begins incessantly planning get togethers with us, telling us she never gets to see us (when we visit 1-2x/month). We don’t even live in the same city. Not to mention we’re busy in our 20’s w/ friends & establishing our own lives. Every time she sees us she leads w/, ‘oh I’ve missed you sooo much. when did I see you last? Why has it been so long? I’m soooo happy to see you. (On & on, guilt trip behavior).
-Our first Christmas dating we spent w/ his family, the 2nd year w/ my family. When we told her we planned to spend the 2nd Christmas w/ my family, his mother had a huge outburst which I’d describe as frantic/triggered/unhinged. My husband and I were upset by her reaction and left shortly after. The following day I txted her we were upset she reacted to our plan that way, we spent the prior Christmas w/ them & it was our decision.. and that moving forward we’d be splitting holidays. She played it off, said: “I wasn’t upset at all if you thought that I really wasn’t! I don’t think I came off like that, sorry if you felt that way” then proceeded to change the subject. Once again gaslighting (this being the last time I confront her on my own. My husband handles from here on out).
-She begins asking where I buy all my clothes. Nonstop questions ab my material possessions. Then starts going out and buying the same items for herself.
-She starts constantly telling my husband on the phone how she never sees him, leaving him feeling guilty (he’s improved a lot on the guilt-front, since our early dating era). When we see his parents 1-2 times a month.. and live 2 hrs away.
-Around this time, If I stated an opinion ab something (as in I would bring a topic up on my own) she’d debate everything I’d say as if I wasn’t allowed to have my own opinion.
-Pulls me to the side of a party 1 on 1 & tells me in private ‘you’re so lucky to have my son, I just want you to know that you’re really lucky.. I hope you know it’ she wasn’t being nice when she said it.
-Around this time she tells us how my partners sister is so sad he has a gf (me), yet she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Triangulating her 2 children, w/ the goal of wanting her son to feel guilt for being happy and in a successful relationship.
-Husbands mom starts getting jealous when we go on family beach trips w/ my family. We go for a week every year. She makes disapproving comments to us/ is generally unhappy her son is enjoying vacations.
-She starts making comments to my partner ab how I’m so closed off and won’t open up to her (making me look bad while playing the victim) and crying to him about never seeing him and how he doesn’t make enough effort..
-Begins incessantly micromanaging my husband: texts him reminding him of this and that, tells him my (as in me…) birthday is X days away, to make sure to get me something, to get his sister something, reminding him he should ‘make plans with his dad soon or go see his dad soon’ or ‘have you called your sister recently? You need to call her it’s your job as a brother’
-Begins generally undermining how we live our lives and casting judgement on any and every decision we make unless we do exactly as she sees fit/what she believes is ‘the right way’. It feels like she believes we were put on this earth to obey her and there is only one way, her way. She does out of her way to show us she thinks she is smarter and more savvy than us, in this game of life.
-Around this time his sister who is only 2 years younger begins acting bratty- we give her furniture, tvs, clothing large items she says she wants and she is super ungrateful, complains about the items we give her, tells us they’re too heavy for her & that we need to carry it for her and put it In her house for her. Only calls or texts us when she needs something, wants advice, or wants to complain to us. Never any other times. It’s always all ab her.
-His sister then keeps our dog for us when we are out of town for a few days (which we were shocked she even agreed to since isn’t exactly supportive or helpful). We stocked the fridge w/ 7-8 bottles of wine for her and made our home lovely/ special for her stay. Her new boyfriend even came to stay at our home with her (they both have roommates so this was also an opportunity for the 2 of them to be alone together). After our trip we were over the top grateful, thanking her many times. She then pitched a fit to my now husband telling him we bought her cheap Trader Joe’s wine and she can’t believe we didn’t bring her back a tshirt from our trip or pay her money for the sacrifice she made, complaining on and on while yelling at him. I would personally never keep my siblings/family members pets for them and expect payment. I would however pay a friend.
-My partner and I get engaged and his mom/sister begin trying to force get togethers, my husband sister starts asking me to go to workout classes with her, painting classes, massages, etc.. which is v. out of character for her. It continues & becomes apparent this is happening only bc I’m now engaged to her brother. It feels disgenuine as she never made these efforts in the 5 years before we were engaged…
-My bridesmaids are my closest, nearest dearest friends who I’ve known for 10+ years. My husband’s sister cried when she found out she wasn’t a bridesmaid and started calling my husband weekly crying / begging him to be a bridesmaid. Then my MIL starts calling, telling him how disappointed she is. He tells his mother, I’m not sure why she’d expect to be a bridesmaid, she’s never made an effort, they aren’t close, she gets to select her closest friends to stand by her side. This has nothing to do with not liking or leaving anyone out on purpose. His mom cries, repeats how deeply disappointed she is, how wrong this is, etc. My husband tells his mother he plans to ask his dad to be his best man. Disclaimer: neither of my brothers were by husbands groomsmen, they couldn’t have cared less…
-My husband asks his father to be his best man. His father declines and says ‘no, not unless your sister can be a bridesmaid’………………….
-My MIL creates her own wedding hotel block for her friends and family, sending out a mass email to them. This is outside of the 4 hotel blocks we already have on our wedding website.
-I start hearing my MIL is saying to friends/family, ‘As long as my son is happy that’s all I care about, I just really hope that he is. All I can do is hope’ and telling people how devastated she is that her daughter isn’t a bridesmaid and how messed up and wrong it is and how weddings are a family celebration for the family. No one ever confronts me once about the bridesmaid situation.
-My husband ends up telling his mother to never mention the bridesmaid topic again, how he won’t tolerate it and is done hearing about it.
-We ask my SIL to give a reading at our wedding. Her response: ‘if I have to’. She is a pill our entire wedding, in almost every photo she is scowling.
-When we receive our wedding photos & upload online, my SIL/MIL text and ask me where all the photos of them are (there were plenty…). I told them I uploaded every photo our photographer sent. They told me this wasn’t true, were extremely disrespectful to me, basically told me I was lying when I wasn’t. I uploaded every single one. I even reached out to my photographer to ask if she’s deleted any of the photos before sending…
-My husband & I got into a disagreement with my SIL where we had a huge argument resulting in a 6 month period of no contact. This arises after we confronted her, calmly & maturely about an issue we had to which she cussed us out and called me every terrible curse word you can imagine. My husband was livid- told her she would not talk to/ab me that way & how childish she was behaving, how we should be able to confront her when we are upset about something she’s done, etc. After several months of no contact w/ my SIL, my MIL begins calling my husband saying: you ‘will/must’ resolve things w/ your sister. He says no & it’s not her business. My husbands father then calls him, clearly deployed by MIL (as he’s very chill/no-drama). The situation becomes even more stressful due to my MIL pressuring my husband re: a topic that doesn’t involve her. I too become stressed, seeing my in laws trying to control him. My in laws then have my SIL’s bf text my Husband saying, ‘I really hate seeing this for the family I want everyone to be ok’ (although once has my SIL attempted to reach out & apologize for calling me a bit** cu**, etc). When his attempt doesn’t work on my husband, my MIL then sends my husband & me a joint text message ab How she wouldn’t be intervening if her daughter could handle this on her own & how we need to fix it. My husband responds & tells his mom off, essentially saying: This isn’t your business. My wife is owed an apology, you guys also have never apologized for how horribly you treated us during our wedding.. the happiest time of our lives, a day we get to have exactly how WE want. My sister can handle her own problems she’s an adult, shes never going to learn bc you meddle in every problem she has bc you want things your way. Then when you don’t get what you want, you get everyone to do your dirty work for you in hopes you can bulldoze & get your way. You make everything ab you, what you want, when & how you want it. Those days are over (this is a summary of his response).
(hmm wonder why my SIL doesn’t know how to handle adversity, bc you handle everything for her even though she is an adult)
-SIL reaches out to my husband and says she wants to talk. He says no, you treated my wife poorly. You will reach out and apologize to her, not me. You won’t disrespect my wife. And she does do this although it takes her a week or so. And it did seem genuine.
-I think this all stems from drama my MIL creates, and when things don’t go her way she pulls others in to manipulate them & do her dirty work for her.
-husband and I lived 2 hours from his parents. We end up moving 10 hours away to create distance from his family. They disapprove and generally disapprove of any and every decision we make, as they don’t act with love and support our decisions as loving parents would.
-In laws announce they are starting an annual family vacation…to the private beach MY family has vacationed at since I was born (it’s not a mainstream location…it’s rather obscure). My in laws have never even been there before. I tell my husband I absolutely refuse to go & will not enable the intrusive/copying behavior.
-My husband & I take a trip just 2 of us. We stay in an airbnb. 3 months later his parents tell us they planned a trip to the same location for the 2 of them & they’d also found & booked the exact same airbnb we stayed at so they could experience the same exact trip my husband & I went on….
-Additional overstepping, intrusive, creepy behavior like above persists. They start buying many of the same exact material items, or furniture we own (obscure antiques, designer items, etc….), essentially copying everything we do. We want to have our own life and individuality & per their behavior it seems they refuse to allow us to have that for ourselves under any circumstance. Almost like, if they aren’t entitled full access to our lives, they will bulldoze and access our lives in their own ways in order to feel in control.
-There’s no major animosity now but we have majorly pulled away from them. My husband calls his parents once a month or so. We now see them 3-4 times a year.
-Things will be nice & relaxing for a month or 2 then out of the blue my MIL will blow up out of nowhere calling my husband 8x in a row telling him he will speak to his mother he will do this and that. Often he simply ignores her or waits several days to respond. She likes to tell him ‘you need to call your father and speak with him’ ‘hey it’s dads birthday make sure do this and that’ (obviously we know when their birthdays are… we are pretty on top of things, still she cannot stand not being in control).
-MIL just flipped out on my husband for not calling her on Mother’s Day, though we send a gift, card, and send multiple texts first thing in the morning. My husband received multiple messages from his dad : why have you not called your mother??? Did you forget? Call your mother now. We’re skeptical the texts were actually from his dad..
-Although we’ve distanced ourselves, the every 2 mnth outbursts are exhausting. I am now 6 weeks pregnant. So excited! BUT Dreading telling them as I envision MIL & SIL making it all about them, freaking out ab how we aren’t involving them enough.. I imagine my MIL starting to disgeuninely call/text me constantly, demand to be involved at the level she expects & believes she deserves, will probably buy high chairs, cribs, etc for her own home.. and make it about her In any way possible.
Any advice on how to deal with a woman like this? I feel like I have to constantly prepare for her actions, outbursts, or things she might say. She’s draining, the pressure she puts on my husband is absurd, her expectations are outrageous, she’s judgmental and controlling, everything is about her, and she is emotionally immature in every way. I feel protective over my husband and our marriage and can’t stand them constant trying to order him around with their high expectations and demands. Help!

If you're curious about my thoughts on previous Yakuza games, here are my much shorter (except for 4, thats pretty long too) reviews for Kiwami 1, Kiwami 2, Yakuza 3 (Remastered), and Yakuza 4 (Remastered).
All of my reviews are made pretty quickly after I finish the game, this was written right after I finished but I haven't posted it till a month later because its so long I thought no one would ever read this but whatever I gotta get my truth out there.
Per usual I played the remaster of Yakuza 5. I'm not sure of any outstanding changes or things of note like with 3 or 4, but if something I say is exclusive to the remaster please let me know! I may sound overly praising or overly critical of this game, who knows but please be kind when you tell me i'm an idiot for feeling the way I do! Lastly and most importantly please please please don't spoil future games in the comments! Also warning I'm way too active in the comments section.
Because I am an utter psycho and decided to write a fuckin bibles worth of yakuza 5 ramblings, Part 1 is just reviewing the plot and Part 2 goes over everything else. I split this up last second so there's likely some spots where I say something like "we'll expand on this later" then I never bring it up again, that's because it's probably in part 2. If you want my thoughts on things like the substories, side stories, gameplay, and settings you can read Part 2 here: https://www.reddit.com/yakuzagames/comments/1cvrybw/yakuza_5_a_mega_big_ole_reviewsummary_for_a_big/
The Plot:
Like with Y4, I will discuss my thoughts on each section of the game rather than in one long chunk just because I find it more fun. I'm not even gonna try to not summarize this time because this game is so big it needs broken down.
Part 1: Kiryu
You might often find me compare Y5 to Y4 a lot in this review because they're honestly quite similar games and feel like a package. When I started playing 4 I was worried I wouldn't like playing as primarily strangers for a majority of the game, but one thing they did absolutely right was making Kiryu the final protagonist you play as in that game. So going into 5 I was very apprehensive about starting off with Kiryu, I worried they showed their hand too soon and that it would be difficult to stay invested the whole time.
With this feeling going into the game, I was immediately somewhat losing it over Kiryu being an incognito taxi driver with the worst disguise of all time (some sunglasses and a face mask, don't worry he's literally the only one in the game that seems to think it's a good disguise). Right off the bat, this game feels...sad. Kiryu watching Haruka giving an interview on the TV and storming out rather then defend her to some losers who don't get what ART is, was SAD. This part of the game felt so mundane for awhile, but not in a bad way! You wakeup as Kiryu, walk to work, drive your taxi, and go home late at night (usually) alone. The whole time my eyes were drawn to a facedown picture frame and wondering what it could be, but I certainly had a guess. Kiryu is going through a hard, isolating, and depressing time and you can feel that so well from the game and how they have you play as him. Anyways there's also a random gal named Mayumi that will not leave Kiryu alone despite him asking her to. All you're doing by the end of chapter one is going "Huhhhhhhh?" Anyways Kiryu is approached by two dudes named Morinaga and Aizawa in chapter 2, telling him Daigo was???? Kidnapped?? GASP.. Admittidly I wasn't too fond of this duo at first. One thing that was consistent through my playthrough is that I was completely incapable of predicting anything correctly, and it had felt like these two were gonna be my pals for the rest of the game and I just wasn't clicking with them. Not to mention this weird semi-one sided-romance going on with Mayumi.
In chapter 3, we begin with the most heartbreaking thing that could ever happen to me, Yakuza 3 superfan. Kiryu has been pushed out of running the orphanage by a lady named Miss Park. It's all making sense now. He does it so the orphanage can have money and so Haruka can follow her dreams. DOESNT MAKE IT EASIER TO DEAL WITH FOR ME :( . Then we meet Watase, first thoughts? I was like "god I hope this guy isn't the main villain he's kinda lame" Soon after we meet Aoyama and I thought literally the same thing. Clearly by this point in the game I didn't have the highest hopes. I was mostly sad and not liking most of the new characters. But then... things take a turn.
Mayumi was actually a spy! thank god honestly. Kiryu meets Aoyama again but then Morinaga shows up and fuckin kills Aoyama and says he buried Aizawa alive HOLY SHIT? and then soon after I'm told Majima is fucking dead. Figured he wasn't actually dead cuz I've seen pictures of him from later games but holy shit I somehow cried just at the THOUGHT of him being dead. Also at some point here we met a detective who is an important player in this story but at this point not too integral. Also before Kiryu leaves he picks up the picture frame and its the orphanage ;-;
Kiryu final thoughts: This part of the game was fantastic. I'm so glad they started with Kiryu in this case despite my initial unsureness with it. Chapter 4 especially is when everything really falls into place and starts going 100 miles an hour but I also love the slowness of the previous 3 chapters. I do wish we got more Morinaga as this is unfortunately the last we hear of him despite this being a wonderful set up to a really interesting villain. Mayumi was a pretty shit character per seemingly always with any full grown woman in Yakuza games. While I think it's cool she was secretly a spy she was clearly an afterthought as we never hear about her again so that's cool. Basically a mixed bag of new characters overall.
Part 2: Saejima
I jokingly said to myself "Wouldn't it be funny if I had to spend half of this section breaking out of prison again. Thank god that's not the case." and continued hanging out with Majima until I was arrested for two more years of serving my sentence and OH NO IM BACK IN THE BUILDING.
Yeah I was VERY unsure about breaking out of prison again being a good call. Thankfully, and sorry to Y4, this is a much better prison sequence. Another thing I was really unsure about was BALD SAEJIMA! But actually... it kinda slays harder? In Y4 he looks like that guy from the game The Hatred (an insult) maybe it wouldn't be so bad if bro washed or brushed it but he never did and so instead bald was a slay. Anyways We're dropped in at nearly the end of Saejima's serving period with his group of friends/cellmates, newest one being some dude named Baba. We are relentlessly tortured by the scariest man I've ever seen, Viktor Zsasz-I MEAN! Kugihara. Who's honestly scarier looking then Zsasz somehow. But it is ON because Viktor Zsasz framed my bestie Baba and I will not let that slide so I beat the fuck out of him and it's revealed Zsasz was instructed to be a dick to me. By who??????????????????? Then it's double revealed to me that Majima is dead and I'm sad all over again :(
Turns out our warden is actually really chill and nice and somewhat tries to help us survive. What a breath of fresh air after Satan (Saito) from Y4. This guy is so cool infact we are encouraged to break out by him. So Baba and I do in the dead of the night and tell me why I cried over leaving my two other cellmates ;_; they were such bros. Zsasz hinders my escape and we fight, but my absolute PAL Himura fuckin shoots him it was an amazing turn of events and I cheered so loud and was devastated to leave him behind but anyways-
FUCK YEA SNOW MOBILES (they were kinda jank to control honestly but its the thought that counts). I am so glad I didn't know I was going to be fighting a bear going into this because that was easily the most camp thing ever and so hilarious. Then some old guy saves me (and later Baba) and we chill in the mountains for a little while. The mountain has a whole crazy detailed side story of it's own that I'll explain in more detail later but basically it was cool.
So then a ton of important stuff happens in Tsukimino, most notably we hang out with Baba in a bar which is great because I love Baba and him and I are super tight and he's easily the only person I could ever trust at this point without potential for betrayal! :)
Anyways me and Baba fuckin kidnap this guy because his chair is by a sewer manhole? He's gone in a flash so all I can imagine is dragging him down the hole by his ankle or something. Then we talk for awhile, Majima is mentioned woohoo, THEN HE'S sniped! The way I gasped. Longstory short :( Baba is the one who sniped him and not only that he kind of set everything up and wasn't my best pal all along :( Why Baba Why? Then Baba basically confesses his love for Saejima and can't go through with killing him, AAAAAAND Im back on the Baba train. That detective I mentioned from earlier arrests Saejima but not to throw him back in jail, to assemble the Yakuza avengers.
Final Saejima thoughts: This was shockingly fantastic. I was probably least impressed with Saejima's section in Y4, so it was shocking to have basically the same structure and general narrative beats but done well. It wasn't perfect, I didn't love it as much as Kiryu's section as I'm partial to a slow burn, but it was fun I have no real complaints, except MAYBE more then one chapter in Tsukimino would be a better choice.
Part 3 (first half): Haruka
I did not know I was going to get the HONOR of playing Haruka going into this game. We start off very strong, dancing to the greatest song of all time "So Much More." I mean we really get the full idol experience here with mean ass teachers and shady management. I didn't expect to get an Idol simulator in my Yakuza game but it might be the best thing ever. I decided right off the bat to put everything I had into this section of the game so immediately I did literally everything I could. Most of this chapter feels like a bit of a reflection of Kiryu's were working and going back home alone, it's all as monotonous and isolating as can be (except you're a predebut idol) and I love this. We quickly meet a girl who will serve as my bestie named Akari and yes I indeed would die for her thank you. Meeting Akari introduces us to this sections version of combat, DANCE BATTLES! I know some people might be disappointed you don't get to punch people as Haruka, and I get that, but this feels like a more genuine gameplay style for her character. It's hard to imagine Haruka fighting thugs in the street due to her personality (not that i'd be against it, especially after that weird virtual reality game where I get to wack dudes with a wand) plus I found this gameplay style so refreshing. I was never groaning or sighing because I had to dance against someone. I think it helps that I wasn't forced to do it 15 times in a row walking down the street, but I had the option to most of the time unless it was part of a quest. Maybe that's how all the gameplay should be? I don't mind being approached by thugs sometimes but it always feels like it happens too often in these games and with getting the option to while getting to walk around carefree otherwise in Haruka's section was just SO NICE.
Anyways, We get the whole set up here, we are participating in a competition show that will single handedly set the course for our debut. We're competing against this band called T-set. I hate them so much. They're so mean :(. At some point we see Miss Park absolutely SLAY and tell off Haruka's dance teacher and she doesn't take his shit at all. At this point I was like "Uh ohhhh I don't wanna like her but...she kinda rocks" my decent into stanning Miss Park only continues from there. We have to go convince some guy named Christina (interesting name to take but also a slay, much respect to Mr. Christina and his fedora) to be our new dance instructor. This causes drama with me and Akari which devastated me because I love Akari but we made up like immediately so it's chill.
Then at one point, I forgot the context, Haruka is shopping for a gift for Miss Park when stupid T-set shows up and STEPS ON THE BROACH I BOUGHT FOR HER. I was back and forth on them until now, now they may burn in hell. Especially after they made Haruka get on her knees and beg for forgiveness like ???? what gives ??? Park shows up and SLAYS and gets rid of them. Park then wears the broach :(((((((((
Then one of my favorite parts happen in chapter 2, Haruka and Miss Park go hit the town and just bond together. It's so stinking cute I wanted to cry. This whole time I was trying to not get emotionally attached to Park because it really felt like she was gonna end up betraying us. But the night continued and we get some mother daughter vibes going, even so far as holding hands????? Also Im somewhat glad I didn't get to wear the outfit I bought at the store with Park because I was going for a Cheetah girls inspired look then realized far too late how tacky that might come off, not everyone is Raven Symone ya know?
Anyways at this point I'm like wow this is the cutest game ever, nothing can ever go wrong, Park MIGHT betray me but I don't even care. She gives us a cool pen and a tragic anime backstory with an abusive ex husband and everything and we call it a night Well the next fuckin day my world crumbles because PARK IS DEAD! She "committed suicide" as if!
Part 3 (second half): Akiyama
I can't tell you how devastated I was to realize I'd only get to play as Akiyama for half of a section of the game. However, I was also thrilled to see him at all. Apparently he's opening a Satenbori office and also he is the one who financed Park's dream to debut Haruka so that's how he has a hand in all this. There is tragically very little Hana, she calls you twice and both times were fantastic but I wish I had more :(. Anyways Akiyama has heard about Park's death and goes to the office and meets Haruka. I didn't think they'd even really know each other and assumed we'd have an interesting reveal that they both know Kiryu later but nah they know each other. It honestly probably works better this way because we don't have time for such trivial things! Akiyama is a fuckin detective now. I don't know why he has been tasked to do this but he does it so well I don't even mind. He quickly figures out Park didn't actually kill herself and they simply need evidence to prove this. I'm unsure when this happens but at some point while talking about the mystery SOMEONE FALLS OFF THE ROOF! It was Horie :( who I haven't mentioned yet but he's my manager and a real pal. Thankfully he lived but we found out that the former dance teacher pushed him off. I think he also killed Park or Kanai did, who knows, either way someone did and they suck for it.
Chapter 4 has a lot going on, but basically the president of Osaka talent is sus and he's also the secret chairman of Ousaka Enterprises, which is a different thing... but sounds similar. Ousaka is basically a higher up family in the Omi alliance, so he's part of the bad yakuza!!! Haruka keeps doing the competition and T-set keeps sucking. She wins the princess league by a landslide. I don't even see the point in a third round if she won both of the other rounds? Is the third round just worth more points? Either way Haruka destroyed them and they suck. Her poor vocal instructor is working as her manager now. At some point we find out Parks ex husband was none other then Majima! Which is quite the revelation. Japan is such a small world, everyone seems to know each other. This does mean that Majima at least hit Park (I think after her abortion) and I think he's like 10 years older then her yet they were already married when she debuted at eighteen... Is it time for me to confront the possibility that my favorite crazed murderer might not be the most upstanding citizen?
It ends with Haruka being kidnapped, (nothing out of character there), and Akiyama saving her. He and Haruka make their way to Japan for the big ole concert Park had been planning. Wow this story is really picking up! I hope nothing grinds it to a sudden stop!
Part 3 final thoughts: God this was amazing, every step of it. My only complaint is I wanted more, more Akiyama and MORE dancing but I might be the only one who wanted 40 more hours of dancing. Detective Akiyama and Haruka duo was not the team I knew I needed but Im glad it happened. I found all of the music and gameplay here SO fun and I loved the plot too. I really liked Parks character. I wouldn't necessarily hang out with her, but I found her to be pretty well written and its hard to hate anyone Haruka clearly treasures, I am very sad she is actually dead because up until the end of the game I kept thinking she was going to come back.
Part 4: Shinada:
We have come to a sudden stop. We start with a flashback to 1997 where Shinada has debuted as a baseball player for the wyverns, don't forget this moment because the rest of this section of the game constantly calls back to it. In the modern day Shinada is a loser who is really heavily indebt and lives in a weird grimey rooftop shack. He also now writes like ? smut articles ? And he's friend with a girl named Milky which is the craziest name I've ever heard. A loanshark who talks about his kids a lot constantly follows Shinada around and takes his money. There was a lot of promise with this gag, like maybe instead of letting me keep the 100k and still acting like I'm broke he shows up after every side mission to rob me but nope. At the end of the chapter we run into a masked man who is frankly just Daigo stealing Kiryu's disguise idea.
Shinada and loanshark (his name is Takasugi) walk around town looking for leads on uncovering the truth of Shinada's past. Because you see, Shinada one time got fired from baseball cuz everyone thought he cheated, oh you already knew that? yeah same but don't worry you'll hear it at least 40 more times. Daigo asked him to go look for clues about this, why does he care? I still don't know honestly. Takasugi is forcing him to go because...I guess money? and he's walking around with me and were acting like friends now for some reason. Shinada is incapable of having any agency for himself, he just does what people tell him to. He also keeps nearly dying like a looney tunes character with shit falling out of the sky and stuff. Eventually we find out the Nagoya family fixed the match and then some guy Shinada used to know does get smashed like a looney tunes character. Skip ahead, were called to help by Milky and she betrayed us. I am sad cuz I thought Milky was a friend for life. Turns out literally everyone Shinada knows aside from the fkn loanshark are evil, even the old baseball lady. This plot was so convoluted I frankly don't understand why they were doing what they were doing, all I know is they were more like a neighborhood watch situation then Yakuza even though they seemed to do the exact same thing. Also when I say literally everyone he knows is evil I mean everyone, even his old coach or whatever. For way too long I thought they meant the middle school baseball coach so I was hella confused. Anyways we then find out that actually Takasugi is Shinada's number one baseball fan. Okay? Anyways
Chapter 4 things finally pick up a little. Daigo reveals himself like anyone ever was doubting it was him, and he also reveals he cares because he went to highschool with Shinada. Is that fr how were connecting this? Daigo got expelled from highschool because he protected Shinada from a rival school. Once again, okay? I guess Shinada doesn't like that Daigo is a yakuza and punches him out the door. I wasn't a fan of this. Daigo goes down pretty easily, pitiful Daigo strikes again. I love him but can he do anything right? Anyways I guess the fight meant nothing cuz they're pals now and go to Tokyo together. We get a cut to Takasugi getting his money back from Shinada as well as a signed baseball...okay that's really cute I nearly cried. I wish they actually left it there but instead Shinada runs away last minute to meet up on that stupid baseball field from 1997 that we cant go 5 minutes without hearing about and we fight this guy named Sawada who was like the kind of mastermind and also the pitcher. Had Sawada not thrown an easy pitch, Shinada wouldn't have hit it and thus been kicked out for cheating. We fight some Omi then play baseball and OMG WHY ARE WE DOING THISSSSSS
Finally it ends and we go to Tokyo
Shinada final thoughts: If you cant tell I was not a fan of this. I found Shinada to be really inconsitently written. In side missions or when he's playing off of certain characters he's quite entertaining and un, but most of the time, he seems to just be a blank slate who does whatever and only talks about baseball. And omg maybe if I liked baseball this would have been the best thing ever but we did not need THAT much baseball talk or constant referencing to that baseball game in 1997. I get its central to his character but it became a meme how often he'd get misty eyed and talk about getting kicked out. Why did he move Nagoya to escape his image as a cheating baseball player when 1) he constantly talks about it anyways, 2) everyone literally knows who he is here anyways. They make it seem like at first he wants nothing to do with baseball anymore but he also goes to the batting cages all the time and also thinks about nothing but baseball. The plot here is just SO hard to follow and not at all what I want to be dealing with after we were really in the thick of things with part 3's ending. I'm not saying it was impossible for this to be good, I think there was so much potential here! Like seemingly all of Yakuza 4, the concepts are there but the execution is iffy. I think it's biggest downfall is when it happens. It would have made so much more sense to make the last section before the finale the Haruka section. Shinada would have felt much better to play as maybe as a part two or even a part three, but NOT part four. The odds were stacked against him being amongst a cast of characters that I already know and love. I definitely was more of a Tanimura fan, but I liked Shinada as a person. His inconsistent writing, unfortunate story, and tendency to be a little annoying really dragged this part of the game down for me.
Part 5: The Finale
This finale is crazyyyyyyy so strap in. I would expect nothing less then insanity from this game. First Kiryu shows up in Kamurocho WERE HOME BABYYYYYY. Were being followed by BABA!! I missed him. We fight for fun or something then we cut to Saejima who is meeting with the detective who tells us we gotta find Morinaga. OH YEAH THAT GUY. So we go to the Florist and we go to the arena only to find... AIZAWA??? The fuck? I thought Morinaga fuckin killed him cold blooded and made me think he was a cool as fuck villain. Only to find out that GASP Morinaga is actually dead. At this point I literally don't believe it because I guess I was in my era of not believing anyone ever dies.
We go to Akiyama who is told by Osaka ceo to not let Haruka perform. Akiayam says hell no. We also find out that Park and him planned to make Haruka and T-set a group and debut them at the same time but I somehow missed this when playing and didnt realize that till way leter. ANYWAY At some point we also see the CEO doing naked push ups in his penthouse which was so weird. ALSO there is a Date-san reveal. The scream I screamt! I didn't know I missed him or needing him so much in a game till I saw him again. Usually I'm wondering why he's even there or what he adds but I finally get it now, he adds being Date to the table and that's all you need.
Then I do a tower sweep at Kamurocho hills and OMG is this what Majima was building the whole time? To be fully honest it's beautiful and im very proud but its so different and lowkey off-putting. Kind of like Majima himself. I miss him. A whole game and I only be hearing about him second hand its not fair. Question, did literally anyone choose Saejima to do the tower sweep? Anyway were on the top of the tower; Kiryu, Saejima, CEO Katsuya, and Watase. We all have to fight eachother to draw out the one true bad guy and also cuz this is a yakuza game, so off our shirts go and everyone fights. Basically everyone gets shot and the bad guy is revealed... THE DETECTIVE. Who saw it coming? I still kept thinking Park would come back or Morinaga but by this point I was definitely suspecting him too. I don't fully get why he's doing all this but long story short he's purging both the Omi and Tojo of nice? Yakuza? I guess? I think it mostly has to do with him making way for his son to inherit a role in everything but thats not further explored till later. Not to worry tho! Daigo has shown up!!!! But because he is Daigo you should definitely be worried because once again he cant do anything right and he gets shot by Kanai. God dammit Daigo. He is now in critical condition, this is the SECOND TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED DAIGO. He's such a damsel in distress, never change.
Baba tells Haruka the message Kiryu had for her, to never give up. He also asks her to come with him to convince to Kiryu to chillax but she refuses. Sad for no one but me. At the New Serena, where that absolute BOP of a song is blaring, Kiryu is sleeping, while the rest of the crew are chilling and chatting. I forgot to mention Akiyama and Shinada briefly teamed up but frankly who cares. Shinada talks about baseball alot here too just incase you were worried he wouldnt. They conclude that detective bad guy is gonna attack Haruka's concert which I will NEVER allow. I guess Shinada's purpose here is actually tha the knows the stadiuk layout pretty well which I will buy in to. Also I believe here Haruka gets told about her and t-set being a band together now called Dreamline. I also dont love this. The idea of it is fine, Im all for a disney channel original movie plot where the bullies are actually great and we all become friends at the end but the issue is they don't properly develop T-set to do that. The short haired girl gets one little moment of being somewhat nice to Haruka then the very next time I see her she's stepping on my boss's broach and making me beg on my knees like sorry but it's really hard to come around on liking them. Even now when Haruka stumbles duing practice they're rude! This is a tragic ending if anything but Haruka seems happy I guess... Dont worry they will be nothing more then Haruka's glorifed backup dancers.
Okay final chapter, and it's a doozy. We send Shinada of all people to go help Haruka at the stadium, I know i just said I get he knows the layout of the stadium but like :( he's literally the only one who hasn't met her. I guess they don't end up interacting really anyways. Saejima is going to go after Majima because btw he's alive and at the top of the millenium tower. Akiyama and Kiryu stay on the ground to defend against attackers and they probably punch/ kick at least 10000 men. All the while Haruka gives her concert. But Baba is lurking and gonna shoot her, I thought he learned to be good again but whatever. Him and Shinada end up having a confrontation that ends in Baba losing and he's about to kill himself when !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my prison besties and the wardon show and up stop him! Oh my god I loved that so much what a nice resolution for Baba and I love that those guys went straight to a Jpop concert just for their pal. Meanwhile Saejima confronts Detective evil man on top of the millenium tower and !!! there he is, finally Majima is here. But he is not having a good time, turns out he's allowed himself to be captured and tortured for the sake of Haruka and now Majima and Saejima have to fight for the same reason. Then! Daigo shows up, while im literally begging him to actually shoot the bad guy but instead they all talk. Haruka is safe from harm (Baba wouldn't have done that shit anyways) and we officially learn about the plot of him attempting to put his son in charge of everything. Kiryu goes to Tojo headquarters to stop whoever this suspicious son is and Akiyama fights Kanai. Then literally all our friends ever show up to help and that was damn cute.
Kiryu shows up and it's eerie, completely silent with dead people everywhere. We go to the meeting room and the guy behind it all along was Aizawa. I definitely did not see that coming because I forgot he existed. But I suppose thats the point, he was so unassuming. I guess that means Morinaga actually was dead all along. We fight Aizawa while Haruka sings a song that seems very pointed at Kiryu wins (duh) but he is not doing well and tries to make his way through the streets. Meanwhile Haruka announces her retirement because she cant hide who she is or stay away from her family any longer and runs away to find Kiryu and THE GAME ENDS. Other games gave me a after credits scene that somewhat eased my concerns, but 5 is a overall very sad game and it's scene is her managing to him but he's bleeding out in the streets and falls unconcious in her arms.
Finale final thoughts: This was quite the finale! It was much better then Shinada's section but it was still a bit messy and left a lot of plot threads up in the air or had some unfortunate revelations. Nothing bad but things I think shouldve maybe been revealed earlier, like Aizawa. Only finding out with like 20 minutes of the game to go makes it feel too empty or even rushed when we know this game is otherwise not rushed at all. I was a little sad about the ending, I don't think it was bad at all I was just sad. The whole time I imagined it ending with the whole gang going to Haruka's concert and having a good time. For once I dont think the game fully dropped the ball on the finale like they tend to do so I commend it for that.
TLDOverall plot final thoughts: As a whole this is one of the most well written Yakuza stories since Yakuza 3 (obviously in my opinion). I can see that for some people all the plot twists and surprises might have felt like too much but I loved it, I never once could predict where this game was going. Morinaga dying off screen was such a let down and missed opportunity, at the end of Kiryu's section I was thinking he was going to be the best Yakuza villain in awhile but instead he went out in such a lame way. I do kinda wonder who killed him, I assumed it was just the detective guy but Aizawa seemed at least somewhat sad about Morinaga's death. I wonder if that was all a show? Another thing I dislike not just because of how it went, but also that it ended up going no where, Mayumi. They made quite the big deal about her at first and I do like the plot twist that she was a spy, but she wasn't even really acting any different when she was in spy mode and in normal mode. Plus you literally never see her again. I think Saejima's section was just very reminicent of his in 4, but done well. Aside from it taking quite so long to get to the city, by the time you leave it feels slightly rushed. I think the chapter in the woods didnt need to be its own thing. Absolutely no notes with Haruka, only that I'm sad this is all we will see of Park, I found her to be a really interesting character. Akiyama is where my main issues arise, only because I really do think he needed his whole section. He felt a little tacked on otherwise when I think he really didn't need to feel that way. I had hoped he would be part of half of Haruka's section then half of Shinada's where he is used to introduce us to Shinada as a character. But instead we get dropped into that like nothing. I know im probably the only one who cares about Hana this much but I really wish we got more of her. I basically said all my issues with Shinada at the end of his section but once again, I really didn't enjoy that plot. The finale was a mess and unfortunatly left at quite a cliff hanger which I wouldve rather it didn't but Im also okay with how it did. Some other things I wanted in this game was MORE MAJIMA I get why he wasnt for narrative purposes but Im gonna say that in every game. I wouldve loved more Okinawa orphan content. That being said there is way more content for them in this then in Y4 which is wild considering we spent like 5 seconds in Okinawa during a flashback and you never actually see them. It was so nice to hear what theyre up to second hand and some of the side missions expand on them a little more but I am devastated they werent there.
Lastly to briefly compare it to Y4, as they do feel like connected games. Y5 realy does feel like they took all of the concepts of the 4th game that needed to be reworked, and then re-did them to be better. The villains are better, prison break outs are better, and just like way more. I do think there are things in Y5 that are lacking compared to Y4, like general atmosphere, and I do think Tanimura's section in 4, as flawed as it is, is better then Shinadas. Akiyama's in 5 is great, but I love his in Y4 more simply because he doesn't have to share the spotlight. But I really have to emphasize, story and character are done better in Y5, ATMOSPHERE is done so much better in Y5.
TLDR for the TLDR: I liked this game :)
And there you have it, the longest goddamn review of all time. It was a really great game and I wish I could play it for the first time again because it was just SUCH a great experience. If you read this far I am so impressed by you and eternally grateful you even cared to. Please let me know your thoughts! I'm so excited to talk about this game with people. As for my rating, It was going to be a 10/10 until I got to Shinada's section now I'm in between an 8 or a 9. Ill just say 8/10 to be mean.
I am already neck deep in Yakuza 0 so I'm excited to write a much shorter review for that one soon.
Thank you for reading!