My goal was to build hard but balanced, immersive survival experience.

√ New game on survival difficulty required √ All six DLCs are needed √ Adding/removing mods later might break your game √ Only PS5 game version was tested

√ Very stable, no crashes

CHANGES:

• You start weak, tired, with barely any gear and 1 point in each SPECIAL stat.
• Enemies will flank, charge, take cover, pick up weapons and use up ammo.
• Added over thousand zombies plus another thousand of various creatures.
• Weakspot hits cause significantly more damage than attacking torso, armor matters.
• A lot easier to cripple and remove limbs and disable enemies.
• Ammo type/size greatly affects damage, explosives are powerful.
• Foes have special moves, wolves will bite and hold your limbs, humans know wrestling moves.
• Audio tweaked, added reverb and removed irritating sounds.
• Nights are dark and now you own very helpful flashlight.
• Improved colours, lighting, weather, sunrise, sunset and tweaked moon.
• Fire sources create atmospheric orange flickering light, old corpses attract buzzing flies.
• Flying bullets illuminate environment and have better physics.
• Tweaked animations in first person, corrected physics of dead bodies and enemy ragdoll.
• Creating gunpowder, scrapping bullets and crafting ammo available.
• Most clothes are wearable under armor, glasses can be slightly modded.
• Added rings as rare find in containers and in shops plus ability to scrap and craft legendary rings.
• Balanced legendary gear effects, crafting with technical documents, added swaps.
• Added possibility to craft few more explosives, and adhesive from plants.
• Crafting most turrets require plenty of ammo and special parts.
• Each SPECIAL stat is equally useful, well balanced and affect things like speed, accuracy, HP, AP, XP.
• Refreshed perks with bonus changes - ability to tackle, crits outside vats, reverse idiot savant etc.
• Building important structures and cooking better recipes require appropriate perks.
• Most magazines and companion bonuses changed.
• Majority of junk lying around was removed, less time spent on looting, better scarcity feel.
• Diverse mortal settlers with unique names and better awareness.
• You can hire guards in settlements for caps after completing important faction events.
• Leveling up does not give health, increasing SPECIAL is locked behind character levels.
• Restricted harvest of planted (not wild) fruit and veggies, scavenging stations more important.
• Added different [Tags] to majority of items for convienience.
• Quick travel available only to discovered settlements, travel won't pass in-game time.
• Only rare enemies like bosses and unique NPC's drop legendary gear.
• More objects to build in bases, plenty of decorative options.
• Loot and enemies don't respawn, day/night cycle length doubled.
• Saving the game through Pip-Boy on survival difficulty, new simple colors skins can be set.
• Disabled not important radiant Minuteman quests and hammering in Sanctuary.
• Music and weather are dependent on map regions.
• Dialogue fixes and camera focused only on NPC's.
• Reduced amount of grass, rubble, twigs, fog and removed unimmersive puddles.
• Access to tag and see actual number of components owned on a cooking bench.
• No build limit, raised amount of maximum settlers per settlement.
• Longer wire and conduits range, settlers awareness tweaked.
• Replaced combat scopes, improved recon scopes.
• Few more map markers, VATS cameras in 3rd person, agressive radstags, some blur removed.

* And many more...

KNOWN PROBLEMS:

• Ground textures flicker black around Sanctuary (Fixes itself after some time).
• Locksmith doesn't make lockpicking any easier. FIX: Install "Quick Hack and Pick" mod after getting all levels of locksmith perk. Just replace "[PS4] Starting SPECIAL = 7".
• Hacking rank 4 does nothing. (Just skip it).
• Action girl perk have only one rank on female character and two on male.
• Few perk texts slightly incorrect.
• Incorrect build cost of concrete foundations, barn menu, 3 street lights and subway light.
• Some Creation Club items might not be properly balanced.
• Occasional visual glitch when moving underwater (Water surface flashing).
• Access to 'Hubby Basement' full of supplies in Sanctuary (Easy quick start).
• Animal fat wont drop at all (Not important).
• Green chest outside vault 111 containing 10k flares and flare gun (Just ignore it).
• Sound of some wall mounted turrets glitches and plays on repeat.
• Perception debuff vanilla FO4 glitch ("Vrexia's Magical Rings" mod to offset stats safely).
• Pip-Boy light wont transfer correctly from 3rd person to 1st (Turn flashlight off and on).

* Can't open Wattz Consumer Electronics terminal (Kill roach behind wall using melee/explosives).

LIST WITH CORECT ORDER:

Mods and entries in bold are neccessary, don't skip them! 1. •Unofficial Fallout 4 Patch [UFO4P] [PS4]• Thousands of small bug fixes for FO4. 2. •Looted World - PS• - Removes 90% of loose loot in the world. Easily accessible and obvious places are almost empty. Some areas like habited settlements or vaults still have items. Makes you pick up less, play more. You can still buy shipments of components and now scraping settlements is a great early source of materials. Small boost to performance. If you are tired of constantly picking up loot, this is a good choice. 3. •[PS4] Pip-Boy Paint Jobs - Colors Of The Wasteland Pack (Club Freedom)• - Adds simple Pip-Boy skins. Remember you can click touchpad while using pip-boy to zoom. Again a master file. 4. •Kane's Items Sorting (PS4)• - Tags quest items, components, bones, bobbleheads, holotapes, notes, chems, liquors, syringes, 99% of junk for better item management and easier looting (water, aid, stealthboys, few food items and some mags are marked by Immersive gameplay). Empty bottles/vases are not marked. 5. •[PS] Useful Technical Documents - Legendaries• - You can swap legendaries for free, create new ones using technical documents. 6. •Named NPC Protection [PS4]• - Protects named quest npc's, merchants, important characters from random encounters with enemies. 7. •Ghouls Of Commonwealth• - Adds over 1100 feral ghouls for zombie apocalypse and chaos. 8. •Tribals of Commonwealth• - Adds tribal groups, often found in wilderness. 9. •Snipers Of Commonwealth• - Adds over 150 snipers including few unique ones. 10. •Rabbits, Chickens, Crabs, Wolves, And Gulpers In The Commonwealth• - Adds more creatures and enemies. 11. •Hermit Crabs Of The Commonwealth• - Adds 12 hermit crabs to the map. 12. •Wolves Of The Commonwealth• - Adds wolf spawn points to the map. 13. •More Behemoths In Commonwealth• - Adds 5 more behemots to the Commonwealth. 14. •DLC Creatures In The Commonwealth [PS4]• - Adds 200 creature spawns to the commonwealth for constant war, danger and chaos. 15. •Behind Enemy Lines• - Adds plenty of enemies to the glowing sea region. 16. •Roving War Parties, Raiding Packs And Hordes Of MY• - Adds wandering groups that attack some key locations. Some groups are very strong. 17. •More Radstags• - Adds plenty of radstags, especially north and into forests. 18. •Better Radstags• - More agressive radstags. 19. •Not a Princess• - Humans can grab you/others and slam on the ground, make karate moves, dogs can hold your legs/arms, bloodbugs suck your blood. 20. •Disable Minutemen's Annoying Quests [PS4]• - Disables 7 types of repetitive and not important radiant quests. 21. •[PS4] Grounded Updated By Sarinia• - Adds tons of ground foundations, floors, walls, mounds of dirt to Structures-Concrete menu. 22. •Miscellaneous Settlement Items Unlocked [PS4] By Callias• - Adds 49 objects to build in settlements. 23. •Cinder Block Walls And Sandbags Unlocked [PS4] By Callias• - Adds 16 objects like cinder blocks and sandbags. 24. •Constructible Faction Guards• - Adds ability to hire guards for caps in build menu, but only after allying with a faction. 25. •[PS4] OCDecorator• - Adds inventory items as a decorational building objects. 26. •[PS4] OCDecorator DLC• - Support for addons for the above mod. 27. •Tweaks - Survival Fast Travel Settlements All DLC• - You can fast travel to settlements on survival difficulty. 28. •1st Person Animation Tweaks [PS4]• - In first person mode you lower your gun automatically. 29. •[PS4] Swinging Animated Meat Bags• - Adds animation to supermutant meat bags and flies with buzzing sound to corpses. 30. •No Sneak Indicators• - Completely removes all sneak indicators. 31. •[PS4] Dogs Not Brahmin• - Provisioners and traders use dogs instead of brahmin. 32. •[PS4] Simple Settlers (Mortal Edition)• - Provides bigger settlers pool (five times more) and names them. Immortal version available. 33. •Quieter Settlements PS4 - Vanilla• - Generators, turrets and hammering are much quieter. 34. •Fallout 76-Style Region Music• - Changes music in regions for less boring/repetitive background tracks. 35. •Reverb And Ambiance Overhaul - ALL DLC [PS4]• - Tweaks sounds for better ambient and reverb and adds sliders to options. 36. •Better Dialogue• - Camera focuses on NPC, changes made to some irritating generic dialogues and tweaked dialogue interuption. 37. •Esk QuietPerks [PS4]• - Muted five annoying perks like idiot savant. 38. •No Experience SFX• - Silences sounds when gaining experience from various sources. 39. •[PS4] Dead Beat• - Removes heart beat sound at low HP. 40. •Combat Music Remover• - Mutes combat music, so there is silence and suspension when enemy detects you. 41. •Commonwealth Visual Overhaul & DLC [PS4]• - Changes colours, atmosphere and makes nights darker. 42. •UCW - Unified Commonwealth Weather• - Adjusted weather for regions and integrated DLC weather for Commonwealth. 43. •[PS4] No More Fake Puddles• - Removes ugly puddles that stay 24/7. 44. Reduced Rubble Etc. - Decreases intensity of grass, rubble, twigs and other unimportant objects. 45. •TLS Fallout 4 Subtle FPS Improver• - Small changes like decreasing grass and water movement speed, and tiny radius decrease of some light sources. Windy weather grass/branches fix.* 46. •[PS4] Enhanced Flickering Firelight• - Better light effects for fire sources including oil lamps. 47. •Sunlight Alignment Tweak - Better Dawn And Dusk [PS4]• - Changes sun and moon movement for better lighting and atmosphere during dusk, dawn and night. 48. •Vanilla Moon (4x)• - Much bigger moon. Anything bigger looks low quality. 49. •Crafting Blur Removal (PS4)• - Removes blur while looting containers, from crafting screen, power armor. 50. •Ironsight Blur Removal (PS4)• - Removes blur while aiming. 51. •More Map Markers (PS4)• - Adds some new markers on map. 52. •VATS Third Person Only• - As the name says, just changes the cameras used in VATS. 53. •Component Tagging Helper• - Allows to easily tag basic components on cooking bench and you can quickly view how many you have in total. 54. •Grenade and Mine Pack• - Adds some new weaker, but modified explosives. 55. •Animations Be Gone• - Removes plenty annoying hammering spots in sanctuary. 56. •Power Goggles (All DLC) - Power Armor Mods For Goggles, Visors, And Glasses• - As the name says. Two mods for glasses for high level characters. 57. •Clothes For Every Stats Wz• - Most clothes can be worn under armor and you can upgrade them after unlocking ballistic weave. 58. •Bear Trap and Caltrops Fix [PS4]• - Bug fix and small changes in how traps work and balance to them. 59. •See-Through-Scopes [PS4]• - Adds new combat scopes in place of 2.5x and 4x magnification. 60. •See-Through-Scopes - Nuka World [PS4]• - Different combat scopes for handmade rifle and western revolver. 61. •See-Through-Scopes - Far Harbor [PS4]• - Different combat scopes for radium and lever action rifles. 62. •Legalized Top Tier Legendary Effects [PS4]• - Balances few legendary effects. 63. •Targeting Sensors On Recon Scopes(Colour Coded NPCs Version)[PS4]• - Modified recon scopes that highlight enemies, friends and dead bodies in specific colours. 64. •Immersive Gameplay Combat Mostly PS4• - Core of this modlist. Hundreds of changes. 65. •Immersive-Gameplay. Low Tech, No Powerarmor Justification Patch. (PS4)• - Makes fusion cores worn. Balances the game around power armor. 66. •Immersive Gameplay Seasonpass Patch (Playstation)• - DLC compatibility for IG. 67. •Immersive Gameplay Rough Start (PS4)• - Overwrites starting level to 1. 68. •Medium Settlement Raids PS4• - Makes enemy raids less ridiculous and balanced. 69. •Zombie Walkers (PS4)• - Most feral ghouls act like slow rotten zombies. 70. •Curse Of Darkness - Normal Edition -• - Zombies are faster and more dangerous after midnight. 71. •Esk No More Teleporting Creatures [PS4]• - Molerats and radscorpions don't teleport. 72. •Realistic Insects Health [PS4]• - Makes insects easier to kill and more balanced. 73. •Loot Logic And Reduction Complete - Enhanced• - Restricted harvest, lower and/or different production output for settlements, empty bottles renamed, Scrounger perk less ammo, less meat, less loot. 74. •Rough Start - Less Handouts• - Removed some workbenches in starting locations. Different loot in Vault111, radroaches balanced, 14 starting stats (overwritten if mod #99 used). * 75. *•Food, Drink and Crop Overhaul•** - Improved cooking, lead belly perk, farming magazines give important upgrades. Better recipes are locked behind perk ranks, added milk and crop seeds. 76. •PreWar Food +• - Prewar food is more useful. Balance and fixes. 77. •Settlement Progression-Local Leader (UOF4P)• - Changes cost and perk requirements of some important structures, changes local leader perk and adds rank 3. 78. •Wasteland Baubles Ring Overhaul! PS4• - You can find unique rings at traders, in suitcases, cabinets. Allows scraping and modifying and even crafting legendary rings. 79. •(PS4) Improved Lighting Ballistics• - Improves lighting for projectiles such as bullets, lasers, gauss, plasma, missiles, flares and explosions. 80. •[PS4] Realistic Bullets: Improved Lighting Ballistics Edition• - Makes bullets travel faster, more realistic and fixes some shooting bugs. 81. •Immersive Gameplay Dismemberment - A Patch Or Standalone Feature• - Higher damage to headshots, easier to dismember limbs. 82. •Tackle! Immersive Gameplay Knockdown Version• - Lets you stagger enemies by sprinting into them after aquiring a perk. 83. •Idiot Savant & Better Criticals Redone (PS4)• - Idiot savant is better the more INT you have, muted perk chart, better criticals perk for crits outside VATS. 84. •[PS4] STS - All-In-One• - Allows scraping almost all settlement objects for extra resources and clean bases. 85. •Faster Positive Affinity For Companions• - Removes cooldown between companions liking/hating your actions and gain five times more positive affinity. Or use extra mod #4. 86. •[PS4]More XP Per Level (Base:600, Bump 120)• - Increases experience required to level up for balance purposes. 87. •Increased EXP• - Increases the amount of EXP gained to make Immersive Gameplay and mod list balanced and playable. 88. •No Building Houses XP Gains PS4• - Building settlements don't provide experience. 89. •Realistic Death Physics - No Animation - ALL DLC [PS4]• - Decreases the amount of force of both melee and ranged attacks, so bodies wont fly away. 90. •Increased Settler Limit - Awareness - Wire Length - Corpse Collisions [PS4]• - More aware settlers with limit of 50 per settlement and longer wires. Mind the limit. 91. •Power Conduits Radius Increase And No Build Limit - All DLC [PS4]• - Infinite build limit and two times longer range electricity conduits. 92. •Settlement Attack Spawns Outside The Settlement PS4• - Moves attack spawns outside the settlement borders. 93. •[PS4] Creation Club Skins (Weapon & PipBoy) Generic Compatibility Patch• - Makes weapon paints from Creation Club show up in crafting menu. 94. •Pip-Boy Flashlight• - Pipboy light is now a flashlight. 95. •PS4 - Longer Headlamp Light• - Makes flashlight much bigger and changes headlamp and power armor light. 96. •No Enemy Respawns• - Game areas don't respawn loot and enemies, after time have passed. 97. •Accelerated Fast Travel• - Fast travel takes less in-game time, should be also relevant to survival needs. 98. •Time Scale Changed From 20 To 10 [PS4]• - Day and night lasts twice as long. 99. •[PS4] Starting SPECIAL = 7• - Changes starting SPECIAL stats to 1 in each category so you start weak. ---•If you decided to skip some mods, go check out 'Extra mods' below and add any you like.• ---•After installing above mods RESTART YOUR PS4/PS5!• ---•In options change game difficulty to survival.• ---•Play on performance 60fps mode (visual 60fps is not very smooth).• ---•Complete vault 111 until you get to the surface, do exit autosave and install below mod.• 100. •Saving Survival Mode• - Adds ability to save in survival difficulty through pip-boy MISC category. Option to save are always on top (3 autosave slots plus 1 main save slot shared by all survival characters). ---•Go to options, sound and reduce ambience level by 7 clicks and reverb by 3.• ---•For even more immersive settings, go to settings, gameplay and turn off quest markers.•

---•Set music volume to half, camera sensitivity to max or your choice, hud color to minty blue, pip-boy to red or any colour you like.•

Extra mods:

1. •No Bugs In Vault 111 [PS4]• - No radroaches in starting area. Add as a last mod and leave or delete it afterwards.
2. •Immortal Cats - PS4• - Invincible cats. Add after mod #84.
3. •Vertibirds Unghosted• - Tweaks invincible vertibirds for danger and realism. Add after dogs not brahmins #31.
4. •No Affinity Cooldown• - Removes cooldown between companions liking/hating your actions. Swap with mod #85.
5. •Quieter Settlements PS4 - Contraptions DLC• - Quieter production lines. Add after mod #33.
6. •Quieter Settlements PS4 - Wasteland Workshop• - Quieter fusion generators. Add after mod #33.
7. •Pip-Boy Flashlight (Brighter)• - *For small, bright flashlight swap with mod #94 and move #95 one space above.
8. •CleanVATS - Green Tint Remover PS4• - Removes fullscreen green tint effect while in VATS. Add after mod #51.
9. •Longhorns Of The Commonwealth• - Adds longhorns to more empty areas on the map. Add after mod #9.
10. •Gulpers Of The Commonwealth• - Adds gulpers to more empty areas on the map.
11. •Radium Rifle Suppressed Sound Fix• - As the mod name suggests. Must be on top of mod list, its a master file. Add after mod #1.

12. •Explorer Restored - Cut Perk Mod PS4• - Adds rank two of VANS. New perk shows map markers. Add after #82.

V. 1.00 - Old version. V. 1.03 - Previous version. V. 2.00 - Completely remade. Have fun.

10 Hotels and Resorts With Waterparks

Posted on June 2, 2024 by Andrew Larder

10 Hotels and Resorts With Waterparks

Heart-pumping slides, lazy rivers and rockin’ wave pools, nothing quite beats an exciting day at the water park. Luckily, at these 10 hotels and resorts, travelers will never be far from the thrills of a memorable aquatic adventure.
Atlantis Paradise Island Bahamas Most famous for its Leap of Faith waterslide, Atlantis’ Aquaventure Water Park has been heavily featured on TV shows, travel blogs and YouTube videos for its unique Aztec-themed full-body waterslide. A thrilling glimpse of undersea life, the Leap of Faith delights with a near-vertical drop that plunges riders into an acrylic tunnel surrounded by sharks and other marine life. If they want the same incredible views without the drop, guests can take slides like The Abyss and Serpent Slide for a spin for an up-close-and-personal view of the resort’s underwater friends.
Great Wolf Lodge, Wisconsin Dells Known as the “Waterpark Capital of the World,” the Wisconsin Dells is home to the largest concentration of indoor and outdoor waterparks on Earth. To visit one of the best of said parks, travelers won’t want to miss a visit to the Great Wolf Lodge, a popular resort featuring an impressive 80,000-square-ft water park. Inside, visitors will find endless opportunities for fun with 13 slides, nine pools and a massive 1,000-gallon dump bucket. The hotel’s attractions are both indoors and outdoors, and the water is kept at a comfortable 84 degrees year-round. Take that, Wisconsin winters.
Hard Rock Riviera Maya Fun in the sun and water adventures go hand-in-hand at Hard Rock Riviera Maya, an all-inclusive resort in the heart of Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula. Home to Rockaway Bay Waterpark, visitors will love spending their days conquering the park’s many slides and water attractions including nine slides designed for children and teens, six high-speed slides for teens and adults and eight kid-friendly slides for the littlest of the bunch. And when they realize they’ve worked up an appetite from splishing and splashing, guests can chow down on poolside eats and refreshments.
Iberostar Selection Paraiso Lindo With 200-ft worth of water slides, a lazy river and a variety of pools to choose from, Iberostar Selection Paraiso Lindo takes the cake when it comes to aquatic fun. Whether they’re in the mood for some friendly competition or are looking for an action-packed pool day, visitors will love riding the resort’s four turbo racer, stuka, aquatube and open slides. Also on deck is a kid-friendly splash pool, a whirlpool bath, an athletic pool and the Aqua bar where visitors can partake in poolside activities organized by Iberostar’s entertainment team.
Kalahari Resorts & Conventions, Sandusky Home to not one, but two onsite waterparks, Kalahari Resorts & Conventions’ Sandusky location is an aquatics enthusiast’s dream. Inside the resort, visitors will discover 173,000 square ft of wet and wild fun as they surf, slide and soak their way through the indoor waterpark’s exciting attractions. Outdoors, the action continues with sprawling outdoor pools, adrenaline-inducing slides and more.
Nickelodeon Riviera Maya Spanning six acres, Nickelodeon Riviera Maya’s Aqua Nick transports visitors to an aquatic world unlike anything they’ve seen before. Featuring 21 waterslides, two lazy rivers and one activity pool, thrill seekers can expect the full Nickelodeon experience at this unique themed land — complete with character encounters and their chance to get “Slimed.” In addition to water-themed fun, guests will find one bar, one restaurant and four “Aqua Bites” stations to rest and refuel throughout the day.
Nickelodeon Punta Cana Similar to its sister resort in the Riviera Maya, travelers can enjoy the full Aqua Nick experience at Nickelodeon Punta Cana. Here, visitors can conquer winding waterslides, chill out on the lazy river, play at Nick-themed splash pads and more. And, with their favorite characters lurking around every corner, visitors never know who they’ll see. From SpongeBob and Dora to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Paw Patrol, cartoons come to life at Nickelodeon Punta Cana.
Orlando World Center Marriott Featuring three multi-rider waterslides, a kid-friendly aqua playground and a 575-ft lazy river, Orlando World Center Marriott’s River Falls Waterpark has fun for travelers of all ages. And when they’re done catching thrills, guests can relax and recharge from the comfort of a poolside lounge chair or cabana as they sip light refreshments and enjoy the resort’s Intsa-worthy tropical vibes.
Royalton Splash Punta Cana Whether they can’t get enough of adrenaline-inducing slides or prefer to bob and swim in the wave pool, Royalton Splash Punta Cana will keep travelers coming back for more at its onsite waterpark. Waterpark access is included for all resort guests who can spend hours catching thrills — and some air — on the property’s multi-lane waterslide that tops out at speeds of nearly 45 feet per second, roller coaster waterslide and variety of what Royalton calls “Monster Waterslides.” In addition to heart-pumping fun for those 3.93ft and taller, Royalton Splash Punta Cana also plays host to a mini slide waterpark which is perfect for kiddos looking for something a little milder.
Westgate Smoky Mountain Resort & Waterpark At Westgate Smoky Mountain Resort & Waterpark, the spirit of one of America’s favorite national parks comes to life with slides and rides inspired by some of the Great Smoky Mountains’ most recognizable names like Clingman’s Dome, Laurel Falls and Cades Cove. With attractions suitable for travelers of all ages, adults will find solace in places like Grotto Falls and Moonshine Hollow with their relaxing atmosphere and warm waters, while youngsters will love causing a ruckus at the splash pad and getting dumped on by a 300-gallon bucket.

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Andrew Larder, FORA Travel Advisor

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“Is that a threat?” I countered plainly, simply, and with my hand brushing against the back of my pistol.
“No, newrealmer.” The apprentice replied with a nonchalant, conversational tone of voice, having dropped that momentary rise in intensity. “I am merely referring to this little mixer. Which, I believe, I should allow you to get back to. But just be warned, it would be wise to heed my words. Though I highly doubt this will be the last you’ll be hearing of this, as perhaps clarification will be needed to address exactly what is and isn’t acceptable and tolerable. Then again, I doubt even that will be my purview. Oh well…” The apprentice shrugged, cutting himself off and removing the little blanket of darkness before he could get into another one of his long-winded tirades.
The darkness disappeared as abruptly as it’d arrived. Moreover, if the sensor readings didn’t already make it clear, it was now very much evident to me that the shadowy bubble I’d been thrust into wasn’t some kind of portal or spatial anomaly, but a careful manipulation of light; separating our small space from the rest of the gathered crowd. A crowd which, much to my surprise, didn’t seem at all fazed by the scene. If anything, the sudden and inexplicable appearance of the apprentice seemed to only result in the expected nods of respect, and bows of deference.
No words were exchanged between the shadowy apprentice and the gathered group. Instead, only a glare and a nod of respectful warning was given; generating an immediate shift in the atmosphere.
A vibe that immediately read as: Tread Lightly.
Silence permeated the immediate aftermath of that encounter. Whilst concern over the apprentice’s actions brewed inside of me, forcing me to consider the implications of this first open attempt at information control, and more worryingly… if he was acting on his own volition or at someone else’s standing orders.
However, despite the general submission to the apprentice’s presence and the unspoken warnings toward the group as a whole, the mileage by which the warning was taken… varied considerably.
The tortle-like-turtle, along with the rest of his group and some scattered compatriots, simply left.
Ladona and a few others remained there for a second longer, before likewise breaking course, returning back to Auris Ping and the rest of their group.
Etholin and the group of crocodiles however, whilst relatively unnerved and cautious, actually took a few steps towards me.
“Well then.” The orange and yellow Viscount Gumigo broke the silence first. “You, newrealmer, are now officially on our sight-map.” He spoke in a manner that because of his cocksure and gung-ho demeanor, made it difficult to determine if that was a particularly good, or a particularly bad thing. Though the fact he also left quickly after saying that, probably implied the sentiment lay somewhere in between.
“We'll have our eyes on you.” One of the crocodiles spoke, using two of his three fingers to point towards his eyes, before shooting them back towards me.
“And our ears too!” The smallest crocodile yapped through a confident grin, before just as quickly bolting off.
This left only the small ferret as the last one standing, as he once more craned his head up higher and higher, just to meet my eyes.
“T-the offer from before still stands, earthrealmer.” Etholin began, generating a brief instance of a privacy screen around us. “The offer to parlay that is. W-with the added caveat of guaranteed discretion on my part.” The ferret’s mild-mannered demeanor remained all throughout, even as he tried his best to infer something other than skittish nervousness through his words. “You were leading towards something, a topic which… while admittedly taboo and borderline preposterous, entering the realm of absurdity, is one that I very much wish to hear more of. Will you walk with me, Emma Booker?” The ferret gestured towards the second nook. “We don't have much time before the end of this mixer, after all.”
I nodded cautiously, prompting the ferret’s privacy screen to grow stronger with mana radiation, a confirmation that these things did take more effort to maintain when in motion.
“I’m flattered they even bothered to entertain my explanations in that case.” I offered, trying to keep the conversation rolling as it naturally veered towards one of the points I wanted to touch on; gauging the crowd from earlier using Etholin’s insight. “After all, it would’ve been much easier to simply disengage and disregard, rather than to engage and actively humor my points.”
“Indeed. Though this perhaps due in no small part to the… unconventional and daring plays of your vastly inferior hand.” The ferret paused, before quickly correcting himself just as we arrived at the third nook. “I… I meant no disrespect with that of course!”
“No offense taken, at least not at this junction, Lord Esila.” I offered with a sigh, urging him to continue.
“A newrelamer’s deck is often composed of cards stacked against their favor from the moment they step into the nest of intrigue that is the Academy. Your… unique predispositions, whilst seemingly a handicap, have been overshadowed by your peers’ classroom performance in the form of your current points, and most notable of all… your library card. Whilst the former is subject to the whims of the academic game, the latter… has become a foundational cornerstone to your lore. This, amongst a few other rumors and whispers, has forced the student body to reassess its stance on what would otherwise be an easily-dismissed existence. Indeed I… applaud your risk-taking maneuvers during that fateful assembly. Though I can imagine it did not come without its price.”
That latter, almost ominous statement, immediately put me in mind of Auris and the resultant cold war stemming from our two fates that’d become inexplicably linked after that assembly fiasco.
A pause quickly punctuated the scene, with Etholin looking up expectantly, as I took a moment to get a closer look at the third nook and all of its magically-derived shenanigans; namely the battle-lines now drawn into what appeared to be a fully actualized, highly-rendered battlemap, and miniatures of several towns and cities scattered across it.
“All decisions have their prices, Lord Esila.” I offered earnestly, just as the lines in whatever magical RTS game happening in the background behind him were shifting. “Indeed, as much as I appreciate your insight on this matter, this does raise the question—”
“You backstabbed my third guard unit, Lord Etale!”
“Well, YOU lied to me about the shipment of grain, Lady Evrail!”
I paused, momentarily distracted by the drama quickly manifesting in the background.
“—why exactly do you seem to be more invested in me than most? Now, I’m not saying I’m not appreciative of course. I genuinely, and wholeheartedly, wish to form more bonds amidst an… in your own words — nest of intrigue. However, I am merely curious.”
“Perhaps I see this as a risk worth taking, Cadet Emma Booker.” He offered with a twitch of his ears. “Perhaps, I see that the benefits of discussing matters, of forming at the very least a working relationship, is now worth the potential risks following your elevation from a mere newrealmer, to a potential player in the game.”
A momentary silence once more descended following that answer, as I paused to ponder the sincerity behind the ferret’s voice, amidst the growing chaos and rapidly deteriorating battle-lines of the game behind him; towering high-rises and windmills alike, crumbling amidst a barrage of tiny magical missiles hurled to the tune of tiny mana radiation signatures.
However, just before I could formulate an answer, a series of bells suddenly sounded above us, eliciting the attention of not just me and my gathered audience, but the rest of the room as well.
It was around this time that the musical ensemble from one of the nooks came forward, carried aloft on a floating invisible platform, as the ‘MC’ began addressing everyone in the room. “Princes and Princesses, Lords and Ladies… newrealmer… may I have your attention, please! The time for dinner has arrived! As a result, it would be our pleasure once again to serenade the end of today’s mixer.” The ‘MC’ quickly turned towards the only other noble on stage, who just as quickly began performing.
The question of just how a singular person would be able to play a quartet’s worth of instruments quickly became clear, as disembodied white-gloved hands manifested out of nowhere, and began playing a sharp and whimsical tune.
“It stands to reason that perhaps fate has deemed our conversation stops here, at least for now, Cadet Emma Booker.” Etholin offered.
“There’s more you wanted to touch base on?”
“Y-yes. There is a proposition I wish to pose to you, on the matter of this weekend’s sojourn into Elaseer, and on another matter more pertinent to your time here within the Academy and its many, many factions.”
So that’s what his angle is?
“If it’s a simple nonbinding talk, then sure. Maybe tomorrow after class? Or maybe after Friday’s PE class? As long as nothing else comes up of course.”
“Those are indeed acceptable time frames, Cadet Emma Booker.” Etholin nodded deeply, before taking a few careful steps back. “Till we meet again.”
The sun had begun setting at this point, and as the music prepared to draw to a close, so too did everyone’s formerly talkative spirits.
The wrap-up process was somber, and was rather distinct for each of the little nooks within the lounge. The first nook, with Ilunor and Rostario, seemed to be tallying up some sort of a scoreboard that floated in mid air, far above the reaches of the pair’s short little arms.
The second nook however seemed to be dealing with a lot of cleanup work, as the animated paper birds, dragons, gryphons, and dragon-wyvern-gryphon hybrids were practically torn to shreds by the end of it. Whatever animated battle had transpired, I was apparently not privy to. But I made an immediate mental note to both myself and the EVI to focus on that nook the next time around.
The third nook, the one I’d seen towards the tail end of the mixer, was my main fixation at this point however; as the students here seemed to be tallying and wrapping up what was effectively a magically actualized version of a hybrid between a real-time strategy and a table-top roleplaying game. Except instead of holograms, they dealt with fully autonomous physical miniatures, small representations of anything from your archetypal knight to what looked to be a heavily armored… dare I say it, renaissance looking APC… if that was even a thing. I tended to stay away from fusion fantasy stories, being known as a stickler for minimally invasive crossover settings, so I’d need to look this over with the EVI after work was done. Many of the miniatures however lie in tatters, mauled and torn apart across the mini battlefield. But just like the second nook, this mess didn’t seem to be a problem; a series of magical spells restored every model back to their original condition.
Though following the cleanup, I’d expected the tensions from earlier to spiral into some form of a duel. Similar to how Ilunor and Rostario had seemingly been riled up from what amounted to a minor confrontation.
This, surprisingly, didn’t happen. Instead, and much to my surprise, the group just ended up shaking hands in a surprising display of sportsmanship.
But while the first three nooks were rather straightforward, the fourth nook… I just couldn’t comprehend. Their incantations of darkness seemed to have brought about some sickening creature that disintegrated into what I could only describe as liquid shadow following the call for dinner.
Which left only the fifth nook, who were essentially already packed up, with their musical instruments disappearing either into a burst of smoke or into a small dimensional rift-in-the-wall.
That, I’d need to investigate down the line.
For now however, I turned towards the exit, towards the animated painting that had acted as the entryway to the space. One that had now just given up on all pretenses and opened up like a traditional door; exactly as I recalled it on the night of the warehouse explosion.
“So much for all the magical effort that goes into entering the place.” I groaned out, as I regrouped with the rest of the party, but not before Ilunor turned around for one final jab at the hamster.
“You’re a guinea pig, Prince Rostarion!” He seethed, before seemingly out of nowhere, pulling a fruit that looked like a cross between a pineapple and a cantaloup out of his cloak. At which point, he lobbed it, directly towards the hamster who deflected it with a flick of his wrist.
This led to what amounted to an impromptu tennis match that followed us from the lounge, into the halls, and even all the way down the stairs, before it finally came to an end at the end of an upper yearsman’s wand. At which point, a few words were exchanged, and the pineapple found itself floating and following the Vunerian down and into the dining hall. It seemed to get closer and closer to his head, only halted when he turned around to glare at it.
“I… I don’t understand what’s going on anymore, Ilunor.” I offered in an exasperated breath.
“It’s humor, earthrealmer.” The Vunerian responded somehow pridefully, yet defeatedly at the same time. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Dragon’s Heart Tower, Level 23, Residence 30, Living Room. Local Time: 2000 Hours.
Emma
“So what do you make of it?” I asked the gang after more or less divulging the entirety of my encounters during the little ‘mixer’, now that we’d plopped ourselves down on the couch, with a cone of silence deployed for good measure.
“Lady Ladona was attempting to assert some level of social dominance and intimidation.” Thacea began, taking a sip of some tea she’d ordered in from dinner. “Whether or not that is at the behest of Lord Ping’s request, or one committed on her own volition, does not detract from the fact that her actions are invariably representative of her peer group.”
“To which Emma responded in the best way possible.” Thalmin offered with a snarky grin. “Care to revisit that moment you stood your ground against her on your memory shard again, Emma?”
“I’m afraid I have to insist on moving forward with the conversation, Thalmin.” Thacea countered, prompting the lupinor to hold back and to simply shrug, urging the avinor to continue.
“The rest of the crowd seemed… as you pointed out to Lord Esila, surprisingly accommodating all things considered. Though it’s the encounter with Apprentice Arlan Ostoy that I am most worried about.”
“As am I.” I offered, prompting both of us to stare intently in deep thought.
“The man is obviously trying to halt the divulgence of hard evidence to your manaless existence.” Thalmin offered.
“But the enforcement aspect of it is nebulous at best.” Ilunor chimed in. “I believe you will see further expansion upon this warning sooner rather than later. For now I believe it would be best if we heeded those warnings, especially considering the delicate situation we are already embroiled in.”
I took a moment to take all of that advice in, pausing to consider my next course of action with that particular development.
Exhaustion certainly wasn’t something I’d expected to feel this early on in the night. This was especially true when considering that all that had transpired was what amounted to a small social gathering.
Though as my time with the Director had taught me, ‘parties’, and ‘social events’ were two very distinct things. With the latter being less of a party and more of a thinly veiled networking expo disguised under layers of booze, food, and whatever shiny distractions your budget could afford.
But while the social mixer seemed to have opportunities for those to pursue their hobbies, namely in the little nooks… the social event aspect of it was definitely still there. And as a result, it was still something I desperately wanted to recover from.
Though given my track record…
“INFIL-DRONE01a has returned-to-base, Cadet Booker.”
… I should’ve expected that work was going to rear back its ugly head somehow.
Moreover, this was all part of the plan, after all.
The expected downturn in activity was expectedly replaced with the anxiety-inducing apprehension of what was to come.
“Alright.” I announced, both towards the EVI, and outwardly towards the rest of the gang. “The spy drone’s back. Are you guys ready to see what’s on it?”
A series of nods quickly followed, with all eyes averting from the dragon-fly like drone currently docking itself back into my suit.
I held my breath as the data began its tentative upload, a nagging feeling coiling from the back of my spine urged me to prepare for the worst.
“Alert. Probability of stealth compromisation and discovery at 50.27%. Isolate and play moment of stealth parameter endangerment?”
And I just about let loose the largest sigh of internalized stress I’ve released over the past 48 hours.
This clearly brought on the attention of the rest of the group, as each of them leaned closer towards me.
“There’s a near fifty-fifty chance we’ve been found out.” I explained bluntly. “But there’s only one way to find out.” I quickly began setting up the tablet and its on-board projector, flipping it on its kickstand as the recorded footage started playing, zeroing in on the exact instance of mission endangerment.
The footage revealed what appeared to be the same blank void from my long-winded journey towards the man’s office. The blank unrendered walls, the shadowless bright white fixtures, and the floatiness of it all, made it clear exactly where we were.
“At least we’re headed towards Mal’tory’s office.” I offered with a half-hearted laugh.
However, as the footage continued, it quickly became clear to all of us that it wasn’t just the apprentice that was on the prowl towards the black robed professor’s offices.
In fact, as the camera panned up, it became readily apparent exactly who had triggered the stealth alarm.
As it became undeniably clear that the armorer of all people, was now side-eying the drone, cocking his head if only so slightly in the direction of its flightpath.
Throughout all of this however, the apprentice remained locked in her own little world, as she continued talking about subject matters not particularly important, most of which simply related to the class and the more mundane aspects of teaching.
“This is bad.” Thalmin managed out first, sinking the bottom half of his face into his hands.
However, just as those words were uttered, so too did the footage reveal something… peculiar about Sorecar’s unfettering gaze.
He winked.
Or at least, in his own little way, as a gleam of light reminiscent of a lens flare emanated from the left visor currently in view of the drone.
All four of us just about lost it at that point.
As Thacea turned towards me expectedly, looking up at me as if I had the answers.
“I… I’m guessing… I mean… He’s perceptive, I’ll give him that. He’s doing something none of the professors could do so far. Heck, not even the apprentice seems to notice. But that wink… I guess…” I paused, before turning towards the EVI. “EVI, any other instances of potential discovery?”
“Negative, Cadet Booker. This is the only recorded instance that surpasses the tolerable threshold.”
I took a moment to sink into the armor. “Well, this seems to be the only instance the drone caught anyone or anything else staring directly at it.” I explained to the group. “Moreover, there were no instances in which Sorecar actually notified the apprentice about this it seems.” I continued, once more reviewing the EVI’s risk of discovery reports.
“The man seems to be somewhat endeared to you, Emma.” Thacea reasoned.
“Yeah… funny the way things turn out, huh?” I offered, before scrolling towards the start of the mission proper, and began playing.
Everyone now became intently focused on the long stretches of silence as the apprentice and professor duo made their way from the class and towards the dark and imposing double doors of Mal’tory’s office.
It was here however, that the first words from the apprentice directly referencing the man were finally spoken.
“Well here we are.” Larial spoke through a tired sigh.
“The office of the great man himself.” Sorecar chuckled darkly, crossing his arms in the process. “Well go on then. Be my guest, Apprentice.”
To which the apprentice nodded, but instead of simply opening the door… she grabbed what appeared to be a small notebook, turning to a page stamped entirely with seals and runes. She took a few steps forward, holding the book up, and outstretching her other hand in what amounted to the most archetypal image of a mage casting a spell I could ever dream up. “Ars la tal te al…” She mumbled in rapid succession, looking visibly silly without my drone’s ability to pick up manastreams due to its limited onboard sensors, and thus giving the gang a small slice of what it was like to see the world through my eyes.
These mumblings however eventually resulted in the doors creaking open, slowly, but surely, and with great strain, being pushed inwards by an unseen force.
“That wasn’t an Academy spell.” Sorecar noted accusingly.
“No, it wasn’t.” Larial acknowledged cryptically, pocketing the book and stowing it away.
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Apprentice.” The armorer spoke with a hint of ominous foreboding, visibly hesitant to cross the threshold and into Mal’tory’s office.
“I’m merely carrying out my duties, and the last I checked, those who carry out their duties are impervious to the ministrations of the games fought amongst the issuers of said duties.”
“You see the world in black and white, Apprentice; a fatal misstep once one enters the throes of the game. And the longer you remain in this rat race, the sooner you will come to realize that you must pick a side. Lest you become a liability, or worse, be an intolerable threat to be dealt with.” Those words carried with it what seemed to be a genuine sense of care and concern. Though dour and colored with a severity I hadn’t seen from the armorer so far. Part of me even felt like he could be speaking from experience.
The apprentice only paused for a few seconds, her whole body freezing for a moment as if considering the very real looming threats.
However, no sooner did that realization come did it also dissipate, as she let out a sigh, before pulling out a monocle from beneath her cloak. “You speak as if I have a choice, Professor. Where in reality, the only choice I have is to resign or to obey. In which case, I have little choice at all.” Larial’s eyes wavered as she said that, if only for a moment. “My choice was made the moment I left the crownlands. Moreover, I try my best to see the light in this dire situation. I still see this responsibility as an opportunity for me to also work for myself.”
“So you do have aspirations for the black-robed position.” The professor surmised.
“No. Not particularly anyways. No, what I meant by my personal responsibilities… is a debt that I must uphold.”
“A life debt, perchance?” The professor reasoned, prompting the apprentice to once more pause.
“A debt is a debt, which must be paid in full all the same.” She reasoned, before once more urging the man across the threshold.
Sorecar did so with a nervous hop, as if preempting some sort of trap which never came.
It was at this point that the pair became silent, as if in awe of the room they were now standing in.
Everything about it… was exactly the same as it was on that fateful night. From the dark and moody bookshelves that lined most of the walls, to the somber and almost mournful pieces of art, furniture, and knick-knacks that looked eerily fluid this time around.
Moreover, the centerpiece of the whole room, that anatomical live-model of a dragon, remained exactly as it was.
And even now… I could swear that its eyes were staring at the sole occupants of the room, in a permanent expression of shock and dread.
“I assume you’ve never been in the prime iteration of the man’s offices before.” Sorecar reasoned, his gait becoming paradoxically more confident, whilst Larial’s became more and more nervous.
“No. It would seem not.” She expressed through a tentative breath, closing the doors behind them, before going over practically every nook and cranny in the room with both her eyes, and a flight of magical gloved hands. “It would seem as if he didn’t trust me enough to allow me entry into his true domain.”
“Understandable.” Sorecar shrugged. “But that begs the question, exactly how did you come across that seal-breaker?”
“As I said before, Professor. I’ve been assigned this responsibility by three authorities simultaneously.”
“Let’s see… the weak-willed young Vanavan?”
“Yes.” The apprentice nodded, now kneeling in front of the chair I’d broken out of half a week ago.
“And the Dean as well, I imagine?”
“Correct.” She nodded again, this time placing her hand over top of the damaged chair, as if inspecting it for signs of tampering.
“And the third, the only one with the key to the prime iteration of the black-robed professor's offices… I assume this is a third party?”
The apprentice finally paused at that latter question, though it wasn’t clear if it was because she discovered something about the chair, or was more concerned about the question itself.
“Yes.” She finally responded after a tentative few seconds, moving over towards the back of Mal’tory’s desk.
“Am I correct to assume then, that this mysterious third party is some young and aspiring member of the inner guard? A Captain perhaps? Maybe even a Major?”
“I am not at liberty to discuss the nature of my superiors, Professor.” Larial concluded sternly, placing both of her hands atop of Mal’tory’s desk.
“But you just did.” Sorecar shot back with a tone of voice that could only be described as amused and cocky.
“I did so in the hopes of appeasing your curiosities, professor, to the point where perhaps you would be satisfied with two answers out of a total of three.” The apprentice responded with a hard sigh.
“And you just so happened to have chosen to stop at the mystery individual because that was perhaps the juiciest insight out of all three?”
“I stopped because that just so happens to be the third question on your roster, professor. Now please, I need a moment of concentration.”
“Apologies, apprentice.” The man craned his head down in a show of apologetics.
The silence finally prompted Larial to bring out what looked to be a bespoke, intricately crafted, and fancifully adorned magnifying glass. One that was tastefully sized, and looked genuinely cool to hold with its cherry-oak handle and its gold and silver decals. I would’ve killed to have something like that commissioned out-of-pocket for a Victorian steampunk cosplay. This, coupled with the monocle she had put on not a few moments prior, gave an almost period-appropriate air of some Sherlock Holmes flick; vibing quite well with the room’s Victorian aesthetic.
Even Sorecar of all people seemed to fit weirdly well, as some sort of an eccentric overly curious sidekick to the serious and strait-laced Detective Larial. These dynamic duo vibes would be further tested, as Sorecar continued pushing on his previous talking points. “Though, forgive me if I am overstepping my bounds here… but I do assume that the seal on your notebook belongs to the inner guard. Dare I say it, it reminds me of a sub-order within the guard, the Beholders of His Eternal Majesty, to be precise.”
“And what makes you think that, professor?” Larial shot back curiously, cocking her head, but still completely engrossed in whatever it was she was eyeing through that magnifying glass.
“This room we’re in.” Sorecar gestured aggressively. “This is its prime iteration, the real deal, the actual room, not a tertiary, let alone a secondary decoy to be accessed by a lesser seal or an attempt at physical trespassing. Now, for any other office within the castle walls, that access could easily be explained through the utilization of the Dean’s seal. But for a black robed professor’s office? Well… you know as well as I, that no academic authority can grant you access into what is effectively the crownlands’ consulate. I know for a fact, that the last time I entered a black-robed professor’s office with the Dean’s Seal, all I saw was the most unconvincing facsimile of the prime iteration.”
“I forget sometimes that you were once perhaps an apprentice as well, professor.”
This attempt to connect with the apprentice through personal anecdotes seemed to work for a little bit, before something caused the warmth from the apprentice’s face to fade entirely.
“What is it?” Sorecar urged, noticing the radical shift in their back and forths.
No sooner was that question raised did an audible CLICK soon follow, and the sound of a desk drawer opening filled the stale and stagnant air soon after.
From there, the now-silent apprentice cautiously pulled up two items from the unlocked drawer using some sort of levitation spell; only one of which I recognized from that fateful day.
In one of her hands was the crystal ball I saw Mal’tory stowing away prior to our conversation.
And in the other, was a small notebook bound in bright green leather, one that prompted Ilunor’s eyes to grow wide with worry.
“I believe I have found the last instance of the professor’s personal correspondence to the crownlands.” She spoke, placing the crystal ball down on the professor’s desk. “And I also believe, I have found exactly what our dear Dean, and indeed… my third party is looking for.” She placed the notebook on the table. “A list… containing a number of books marked as recommended reading material for the studious student… all to be issued not by the school’s library, but the Library.”
“None of those books are on the course’s recommended reading material list, I imagine.” Sorecar responded darkly and facetiously.
“No. Not a single one, professor. Which can only mean one thing.”
"We found The Library's burned catalog."
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(Author’s Note: Apprentice Arlan Ostoy, the shadow-obscured apprentice, seems to be rather serious in his attempts at obfuscating the truth! We'll just have to see how that plays out haha. However, in spite of that, we see Etholin's interests in Emma growing, as he speaks frankly with her on several matters, and Emma finally confronts him about just why he seems to be so eager to talk to her despite the taboo nature of her very existence! We also see exactly what the five nooks in the student lounge are up to, as I've always wanted to give the magical world just a little bit more whimsy and a lived in sort of vibe with these things happening all around Emma, and just demonstrating that there is indeed multiple stories and characters just living their own lives outside of Emma's story! That's the sort of vibe that I always love and that I hope I'm able to capture with this haha. Also, most importantly, we start to see the footage gathered from Emma's snooping, as we get to see the nitty gritty of Larial's investigation on Mal'tory! I hope you guys enjoy! :D The next Two Chapters are already up on Patreon if you guys are interested in getting early access to future chapters!)
[If you guys want to help support me and these stories, here's my ko-fi ! And my Patreon for early chapter releases (Chapter 83 and Chapter 84 of this story is already out on there!)]

Narcissistic grandmothefamily ( mostly grandmother )
Where do i begin.... So my grandmother has always been abusive to me. For as long as i can remember.
As a child my mum and dad practically dumped me on my grandmother and grandfather's step. They took me in. My grandad was always my angel. He loved me so much and I was always the apple of his eye. Sadly in 2009 he died from leukaemia. He was diagnosed on his birthday. Died a year later on his birthday 😔 me and my grandmother never really got along. She always looked down her nose at me. Like I was a piece of shit under her shoe.
It was just me who got dumped on my grandparents step. My sisters went with my mum and my brother with my dad when they split up.
Now.... I don't know much about her upbringing because I literally can't speak to the woman. She is very... Undermining and passive agressive. So I just don't bother as its never pleasant to speak to her. Never has been.
So I have 2 sisters and a brother. My grandmother idolises them. Very openly, almost like it's done purposely to make me feel as low as possible. I am constantly left out of family outings, holidays, meals. You name it. It's making me resent my own siblings.
I became the black sheep very quickly. I have to watch my family doing things together, while I'm constantly left out. Watching from the sidelines, Unacknowledged, Forgotten about if you will.
Fast forward... At this point id had enough. So I moved in with my then boyfriend. I was obviously extremely happy to get away from my grandmother and family. I moved to a different city.
Things were great at first... Sadly he started to change after a while. He started to abuse me also and get violent towards me. I found out he had abused 2 women before me. I escaped with my life barely. But I had nowhere to live or any money as my ex had taken everything off me and used me for my money the entire time and I would like to add that this man also made me disabled. ( trauma induced fibromyalgia, chronic pain and fatigue, ptsd, depression, the whole lot )
So I had to move back in with my evil grandmother, but this time... I'm disabled at this point 😔 the trauma and stress of previous life abuses and obviously the trauma of domestic violence had made me extremely ill. I couldn't even walk. I've been in and out of hospital and doctors you name it.
So now, my grandmother has an evil new tactic up her sleeve. Because I'm now disabled, she uses my illness as a weapon to abuse me. Saying "your brain has gone" " you're crazy " . And calling me and i quote a " fat tw*t " obviously because of my ptsd, I was terrified to leave the house and now my own grandmother is attacking my appearance and mental health and disability all at the same time. My illness has turned my life upside down.
She is taking nearly all my money from me, so I'm unable to save up to leave. Shelters are only offering me places half way across the country, alone, which would absolutely terrify me.
I have had a pretty lonely existence and still live a lonely existence. My pets are my everything and shelters also do not allow pets. So I feel trapped now. I cannot survive without my pets. They're all I have.
I'm trapped with a woman who causes a fight with me any time I leave my bedroom. She attacks my disibilty, my mental health, calls me names, she bins my belongings and throws my stuff around all over the floor. She purposely breaks my belongings. Then she gaslights me.
She literally says I'm imagining things when she does all this stuff to me. All while turning the rest of my family against me by telling them, I'm unruly. Because I'm defending myself and standing my ground on what I know to be true. I've even resorted to recording her when she starts these fights with me. But even when I show my siblings. They instantly side with her or say it's nothing to do with them. Even if I tell my mum. She doesn't care. My mum is a very selfish woman. She has a drug addiction. So she only cares about herself and herself only. My dad has just got a whole seperate life now and a new gf. Wants nothing to do with me or anyone else besides his gf.
I've been abused my entire life. I'm still being abused. I've had enough.
What do I even do about this? I feel like I'm getting more sick by the day because of all this trauma. I'm literally trapped. I'm tired. My soul is literally tired.
If I alert authorities. My entire family will turn on me. All but one. My grandmother's daughter. My auntie. Is also cast out by her. So I do speak to her about the abuse which helps.
But it doesn't help my situation. I'm still trapped here. My auntie has a full house and is also dealing with illness herself. So that's not an option unfortunately.
Has anyone experienced anything like this with their grandmother?
It makes me sick because everyone thinks she's a lovely old lady. She puts on this false image in public. But behind closed doors. She's a monster. An absolute monster. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff she says to me I can barely believe it myself. She's told me to unalive myself and that nobody loves me and she hates me.
I know it's awful to say. But I cant wait until she passes 😢 I can then be free of her abuse once and for all. I hate that I think this way about someone. But when theyve abused you your entire life, Belittled you, called you names, attack you, bullied you, destroys and bins your belongings and has trapped you, then blames you for it. You will think and feel the same way. All whilst rubbing how much she loves my siblings in my face.
She makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. Like I'm unlovable. What did I ever do to her!?!
I remember asking this question once and she said I'm imagining things and im being childish and told to grow up and stop being crazy and that I'm weak.
She loves calling me weak and keeps telling me I'm playing the victim. Well.... I am the victim. You're literally abusing me.
It's not crazy if it's reality right?
Sometimes I feel like Im just not from this family. Even my siblings have nothing in common with me and look down on me and don't bother with me. We are 100% from the same mother and father. I just can't understand how I'm cast out and treated like this. I've never done anything wrong to anyone 😔😔
I've asked many times what I've done to deserve this treatment and they just keep saying the same thing. Stop playing the victim or I'm imagining things and to grow up. My feelings are not valid.
I'm constantly just in my bedroom, because if I come out. I become a target. I barely even eat 😢😢 I have 2 meals a week if that and that's when my grandmother goes out. I go down and make something quick to eat. I tend to buy a lot of snacks online. Things I can keep in my bedroom to snack on when I get real hungry, just to avoid coming out of my bedroom.
Not sure how much more heartbreak I can take.
I've planned a day out at the weekend for the first time in 2 years to go see all my friends. To a rave. Because my legs have gained a bit of strength recently after being bed bound for over a year because I've been so ill. Obviously I'm extremely nervous about leaving my house, but I'm trying to force myself to try get myself out of this rut I'm in. My grandmother has done nothing but attack my image, calling me fat and basically trying to destroy my confidence, so I don't go out and calling me other horrible names because it's a rave I'm going to.
Now I used to rave a lot. So it's the only time I get to mix with like minded people. It's always the same people who go and i class them all as my rave family. I've been super excited and obviously nervous about this rave. I planned it just a week ago. My grandmother of course. Is doing everything in her power to try get me to not go. My friends all live dotted around the country, so i barely ever get to see anyone.
I'm not allowed to be happy. Or have a life or do anything for that matter.
I've been trying to exercise using my hula hoops and other flowtoys. Like my leviwand for example. It cost over 300 pound and my grandmother has gone into the tube it's kept in and binned the chargers and string for it. Rendering it useless and saying she's not touched it and im making stuff up and im going crazy!!!
I know she had done it as it was in her cupboard in her room. It had moved completely from where I actually put it. My room is very cluttered as I've had to cram me, my things and my pets all in here with me, due to having left my ex in such a hurry. I feel like I'm living in a closet. So I thought this one item would be safe in that cupboard as it was expensive. She had moved it and shoved something in its box that I know wasn't in there when I put it in there. She's lost all the attatchments, which I know was all together in that box. So now I can't use it at all. Of course.... It's all in my head and I'm the one who's lost these things even though i know for a fact I kept it all safe and together.
She's constantly sabataging me and saying it's all in my head.
I'm Quickly fading. Giving up. But then.... She will attack me for that too. Fcked if I do. Fcked if i don't. I can't win. No matter what I do.
Even if for example... Something has been on its way out... Breaking for a while and she's aware of it, if it breaks, it's automatically my fault.
According to her... Anything that breaks. Even if I haven't touched it. It's my fault. She will deliberately leave things to deteriorate and then blame me when it finally breaks completely. I'm at my wits end.
I'm so lost and just devastated at how horrible my life has been.
Can anyone give me any advice on what I should do about this situation?

The fate has led you here. Sit down by the campfire and rest. We got Starbucks coffee or whatever the cool kids drink these days.
Thank you for stopping by! Are you looking for the best friendship you ever had. "Best friendship?" You might think. "I ain't insane lmaooo".
Someone who will always be your shoulder to cry on whatever it is? Your personal 24/7 hype person who will make you wake up to the craziest memes, cursed images, messages, fun facts, cringe stories, boring facts and conspiracy theories? Someone who will watch movies with you, anime, tv shows, play dumb games, or perhaps start new MMORPG that we will invest into together? Someone who will discuss fashion with you, exchange gym/workout videos and pics, or just discuss deep meanings behind life, books and other media? Someone you could tell all your secrets and deepest desires without fear of being judged? Do not look any further... for I am not that person. I AM KIDDING, yes that's me I am absolutely that person. I am here to invest my full free time into you!
Do I sound like Skyrim NPC to you? Good. Here are my stats:

• Based in Europe
• Interested in other languages and cultures (If yo DM me your country I will tell you everything I know about the politics, language, history, culture and heritage)
• Big fan of rock and metal
• I consume Greek and Roman philosophy books like drug addict steroids
• Owns a pet
• used to model
• big gym rat & combat sports enjoyer
• big nerd/gamer, I play WoW alot and... Metal Gear Solid and much more
• I collect mangas, watch anime and collect katanas
• Student in early 20s
• Saw a guy shave his beard once in 5 years and his dog shit himself on the spot
• banan👍

Now to avoid writing whole-ass Old Testament here, I cannot wait to hear from you and invest all my time into you and getting to know you! Let's face the deepest depths of despair together. Hey, if ya do not like me, you can always run away like Romanian with a TV. If you aren't interested, that is fine as well! I wish you an amazing day stranger and love you lots. Ant-eaters be like "what am I gonna eat today? let me take a wild fuckin guess"
Comment Christiano Penaldo if you came this far
Alright now I gotta dip, my cat is mooing
See ya
Sincerely,
Tarzan of Chernobyl

Michael Cera is walking down the hall of his school when a school shooting starts...
He and some of his classmates find a room to hide in.
While they're all hiding, crouched behind desks (listening to the screams and gun shots outside), Cera sees a girl among them that he has a crush on, "hot girl #1",
She starts looking over in his direction.
She makes a hand motion for him to come over towards her.
So Michael Cera smiles nervously and starts moving over.
But then as he does, another hot girl (hot girl #2) crawls past him, and he realizes that it was actually HER that hot girl #1 was summoning.
They both glare at him as a result of seeing his mistake.
hot girl 1 (whispering): "ugh, GROSS! like i would EVER want to hide from a shooter with YOU!"
hot girl 2 (whispering): "um...AWK-waaaaarrrrrrrrrrrd...."
but then the shooter walks into their room and shoots the hot girls first. their heads explode.
the shooter kills everyone else in the classroom too, except michael cera.
the shooter instead walks over to michael cera, like a zombie.
michael cera just sits there like a dear (not a typo) in the headlights, screaming.
but then the shooter just shoots himself in the head instead.
the shooter's body falls onto michael cera, who is now too scared to even screem.
meanwhile, outside, the police department is hiding.
gay officer: "i don't want to go in there, sherriff. he has a GUN! what if he SHOT it at us!? it's TOO SCARY."
sherriff: "don't worry, we're not goin in. i got special orders..."
the sherriff then makes the "sshhh" gesture with his finger on his mouth.
but then michael cera comes out, holding the gun away from himself, like it's a used condom, when he finds the cops hiding behind a corner.
michael cera: "um, ...hello?"
gay officer screams bloody murder and bolts outta there.
sherriff (looking at Cera): "what the hell are you doin son?"
michael cera: "uh, i don't know what's going on. there was a shooter, he had this gun. please take it before it gets into the wrong hands."
sherriff (points his gun at Cera and cocks it): "i don't think so.."
michael cera: "...wait, what?"
but then the news cameras are on the scene, and they can see the two of them
so the sherriff lowers his weapon and says: "you're under arrest for the Maple Park School Shooting^tm "
michael cera: "the what?"
sherriff puts cuffs on him and says: "it's what they're gonna call this event here today."
michael cera: "but i didn't... ok. fine."
michael cera goes to jail, pleading all the while that he didn't do anything.
he sees scary faces of big-ass gorilla-lookin niggas, in the jail cells that he passes by.
the guard tells him that his attourney will be with him soon, that he should try to just get a good nights sleep, cause he's gonna have a long day tomorrow.
we cut to a montage of news coverage of the shooting.
classmates that never actually met michael cera (don't even get his name right) are now on tv claiming that they did everything they could to make him feel accepted, but say that there was nothing they could do beceuse he was always just a twisted, fucked-up psycho.
these classmates also take this oppourtunity to plug their movie-review youtube channels, diy cooking instagrams, and celebrity-parody twitter accounts.
the next morning, michael cera is given a big bin of mail that he's recieved already, and is told that his lawyer is arriving now.
michael cera reads a letter from the bin while he waits.
we only see Cera's shocked reaction to the first letter, while his lawyer(played by Matthew Mcconahay) comes in.
lawyer: "hi there, Michael, I'm your lawyer Matt. Before we get started, is there any questions you might have?"
michael cera: "yeah, how am i getting mail for this already? this just happened yesterday..."
lawyer: "yeah, but it happened yesterday MORNING. so there was plenty of time for some people to see you on the news and write letters before the mail went out for the day. this is just the batch of letters that made the cutoff."
michael cera: "wow."
lawyer: "yeah. it's a lot. you'll get used to it."
michael cera: "uh, i noticed a lot of these are love letters. from girls. in fact it seems like all of them are."
lawyer: "right, well i wouldn't worry about that. i deal with a lot of mass shooting, terrorist attack, and serial killing cases. the accused man always get a whole forest's worth of letters from nubile young women begging for him to fertalize their ovaries and defile them in every concievable way. it's something to do with the primal effect of a man asserting dominance through a public violent act or something. Oh and by the way, under this state's laws, the accused are also given full access to conjucal visit privilages no matter the crime, so a lot of men like you have that option available when they feel inclined and they usually do. Anyway, if we can get started on where you were during the events of the crime scene, i can try to--"
but we see that michael cera is not listening anymore.
we cut to a montage of michael cera plowing one groupie after another, in a trailer, to the tune of Hallelujah played by leonard cohen.
we cut to a news clip, telling us that the case will soon go to trial.
we cut to michael cera meeting with his lawyer again.
lawyer: "michael, listen to me, we have all the evidence in the world that you're innocent. if you just give me permission to plead that way, we can get you off the hook!"
lawyer is rubbing his head like he has a headache, as a result of dealing with Cera. he opens up his bottle of asprin to get a quick pill for himself while he listens to Cera's response.
michael cera: "yeah, maybe. i just dunno..."
lawyer: "if you don't give me permission, then i'll just have to do it without your permission. i will not lose this case just because you're too scared to fight back!"
but just then, another lawyer (a Men-In-Black lookin chick), we'll call her "lawyer 2" steps in.
lawyer 2: "michael cera, i'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your lawyer, but I want to let you know that as your NEW lawyer, i-- oh shit, you're still here."
lawyer: "yeah I'm still here, what the hell are you talking about?"
lawyer 2: "oh, nevermind. i'll see myself out."
...
lawyer: "anyway, as i was saying..."
lawyer takes his pill, then starts foaming at the mouth, with some kind of chemical gas fumes spilling out, he then keels over.
lawyer 2 pops back in.
lawyer 2: "ok, you remember my shpeil from earlier, right? i don't have to repeat that?"
michael cera: "is he ok?"
lawyer 2: "no, i'm afraid it appears he's had a heart attack."
michael cera: "THAT'S what a heart attack looks like?!"
lawyer 2: "i know, it's not like in the movies at all, is it?
lawyer 2 pushes lawyer 1's body out of the seat so that she can sit there instead.
lawyer 2: Anywho, i've taken the time to look over your case and i must say it's not good news. i'm afraid we don't have much of a chance on this one, i'm gonna reccomend you plead guilty."
michael cera: "...oh...ok!
Michael cera now has tattoos on his face and body, and wears a doo rag.
he is now open about his phony role in shooting. He looks straight at us, the audience, and says "i don't give a CRAP anymore."
As a result, one day, he is in a conjucal visit trailer with a fan, and he tells her "before we get started, i just want to make sure if it's ok if we only do it in the missionary position? everything else feels too kinky for me", just like he always does, but the new girl ISN'T interested in fucking him at ALL.
She's an undercover reporter for Alex Jones' Infowars network. she wants info for their war on the official msm narrative about the shooting.
So he tells her that he's willing to testify the real story in court.
But time is running out. Fights are escalating in the prison, and it looks like they may soon turn into a full blown riot.
But then, once the undercover reporter leaves, some secret agents show up and introduce themselves to michael cera as Agent Zog (male) and Agent Henderson (female).
Agent Zog: "we can offer you protection. and in exchange, not only will you not testify, you'll give a new detailed confession with new motives added from this list so that the media can demonize people on the outside who have the same goals as your stated goals.
Agent Zog hands Cera the list.
Agent Zog: "just remember, if you refuse to cooperate, we can just have you eliminated.
michael cera: "wait.. so you guys really were behind the shooting?!
but just as they're talking the riot erupts into a full-on jail break.
while agent zog is distracted by this, michael cera grabs his gun from him and shoots him to death.
michael cera: "framing someone for murder ISN'T NICE!"
michael cera looks around for an escape. but agent henderson just saw him commit a brutally violent act...
agent henderson: "oh michael..." <3 <3 <3
henderson starts stripping off her clothes and chasing down michael cera.
michael cera: "aw geez, what the heck?"
agent henderson (buck naked): "take me now! i want your seed inside me!"
michael cera: "i don't have time for this!"
michael cera tries to keep moving, but agent henderson climbs on to him and ravages him.
michael cera: "ugh! FINE!"
meanwhile, in a helicopter above...
sniper: "wow. he's plowin' henderson."
agent 3: "nice"
agent 4: "yeah, not bad"
sniper: "tell me about it!"
...
agent 3: "you can take the shot now."
sniper takes the shot. michael cera's head explodes.
agent 3 (looking over to agent 4): "and uh, have someone send a car to pick up henderson, i guess."
agent 4: "roger, that's a wrap."
Directed by Stephen Speilberg.

It's a very long and strange story, but I'll do my best to make it shorter and understandable. First of all, I won't try to make this reasonable, I know it's abnormal. I don't wanna making it even longer. The only info you should know is he was my first love and bf, and I met him through his anon FB page where he made comments about daily and political issues. I was 16 back then, and I fell in love with him even though I didn't even know his name. Over time, I found out who he actually was, but didn't even have the courage to talk to him and knew that it was impossible for us to ever meet and be together, which led me to extreme depression. It took me almost two years to heal. I was alright, but I still didn't get over him at all; I still loved him, and it went on for five years.
But 3 months ago, I texted him from a fake acc& told him what happened and expressed my feelings. I didn't expect any positive response at all; I thought he'd either block or ghost me. But things turned out very different from my expectations. He was shocked and thought it was a cruel joke from his exes or friends. He said this is all too good to be true. I was too good to be true. And somehow, we ended up together. We shared so many things, said a ton of deep shit. He did everything to convince me to spend my life with him. He admitted he actually loved someone after 15 years. He said I'll be his, I'll live with him after I graduate. He always told me I was a super rare exception to him; he doesn't have any respect and expectations from women at all; he was single for four years by his choice. He described himself as an MGTOW, and a lot more. I'm just telling you these to explain it was not something basic at all; it was very special (or maybe I just believed it was).
So, 6 days ago, when he received my package, he suddenly broke up with me. He apologized for not choosing his words carefully. He exactly said: 'I do care for you and like you, but I'm not in love with you. Actually, I can't fall in love with you or anyone for that matter. I can't love, I can't yearn for, I can't desire anyone. I'm too far beyond saving, too black-pilled. You will be messed up with me. I don't cheat, but I can't react to any of your words full of intimacy. I'd never forgive myself if I ever make you this upset. I can't trust myself with you. Let me be your hero and protect you from myself.' That's the only reason he stated. I literally begged him to not ruin everything, not even caring about any self-respect at this point. I asked him: 'You always said everything will be alright with time. You calmed me down. But why are you throwing everything away now?' He got mad. He said he can't fall in love with me no matter how hard he tries. Nothing triggers him. He yelled at me, saying, 'How could you be this dumb to not realize how bad I am?' And eventually, I had to accept it. I realized there was nothing left for me to change his mind. Hours later, he texted, 'Don't think I don't feel like shit. Saving you from myself was one of the hardest things I did, even though you don't believe it.' I couldn't say anything. 2 days later, he texted a very long paragraph expressing how he'd never forgive himself for making me so upset again, that I did nothing wrong, I'm one of the good girls. My voice won't leave his head. I just said, 'You are not brave enough to make efforts for this relationship at all.' And that's it, actually.
I'm just so lost and in a loop. I get angry with him and convince myself that it's his loss, but seconds after, I can't help myself missing him and crying. How do I get over him and start to have self-esteem after that? And how can i understand the whole situation and stop being confused. All the confusion about whether he's actually blaming himself and feeling very bad, just like he stated? Did he ever love me? Is he going to regret it? I don't know what is real about this relationship anymore. Please help me to understand the issue objectively.

Narcissistic grandmother.
Where do i begin.... So my grandmother has always been abusive to me. For as long as i can remember.
As a child my mum and dad practically dumped me on my grandmother and grandfather's step. They took me in. My grandad was always my angel. He loved me so much and I was always the apple of his eye. Sadly in 2009 he died from leukaemia. He was diagnosed on his birthday. Died a year later on his birthday 😔 me and my grandmother never really got along. She always looked down her nose at me. Like I was a piece of shit under her shoe.
It was just me who got dumped on my grandparents step. My sisters went with my mum and my brother with my dad when they split up.
Now.... I don't know much about her upbringing because I literally can't speak to the woman. She is very... Undermining and passive agressive. So I just don't bother as its never pleasant to speak to her. Never has been.
So I have 2 sisters and a brother. My grandmother idolises them. Very openly, almost like it's done purposely to make me feel as low as possible. I am constantly left out of family outings, holidays, meals. You name it. It's making me resent my own siblings.
I became the black sheep very quickly. I have to watch my family doing things together, while I'm constantly left out. Watching from the sidelines, Unacknowledged, Forgotten about if you will.
Fast forward... At this point id had enough. So I moved in with my then boyfriend. I was obviously extremely happy to get away from my grandmother and family. I moved to a different city.
Things were great at first... Sadly he started to change after a while. He started to abuse me also and get violent towards me. I found out he had abused 2 women before me. I escaped with my life barely. But I had nowhere to live or any money as my ex had taken everything off me and used me for my money the entire time and I would like to add that this man also made me disabled. ( trauma induced fibromyalgia, chronic pain and fatigue, ptsd, depression, the whole lot )
So I had to move back in with my evil grandmother, but this time... I'm disabled at this point 😔 the trauma and stress of previous life abuses and obviously the trauma of domestic violence had made me extremely ill. I couldn't even walk. I've been in and out of hospital and doctors you name it.
So now, my grandmother has an evil new tactic up her sleeve. Because I'm now disabled, she uses my illness as a weapon to abuse me. Saying "your brain has gone" " you're crazy " . And calling me and i quote a " fat tw*t " obviously because of my ptsd, I was terrified to leave the house and now my own grandmother is attacking my appearance and mental health and disability all at the same time. My illness has turned my life upside down.
She is taking nearly all my money from me, so I'm unable to save up to leave. Shelters are only offering me places half way across the country, alone, which would absolutely terrify me.
I have had a pretty lonely existence and still live a lonely existence. My pets are my everything and shelters also do not allow pets. So I feel trapped now. I cannot survive without my pets. They're all I have.
I'm trapped with a woman who causes a fight with me any time I leave my bedroom. She attacks my disibilty, my mental health, calls me names, she bins my belongings and throws my stuff around all over the floor. She purposely breaks my belongings. Then she gaslights me.
She literally says I'm imagining things when she does all this stuff to me. All while turning the rest of my family against me by telling them, I'm unruly. Because I'm defending myself and standing my ground on what I know to be true. I've even resorted to recording her when she starts these fights with me. But even when I show my siblings. They instantly side with her or say it's nothing to do with them. Even if I tell my mum. She doesn't care. My mum is a very selfish woman. She has a drug addiction. So she only cares about herself and herself only. My dad has just got a whole seperate life now and a new gf. Wants nothing to do with me or anyone else besides his gf.
I've been abused my entire life. I'm still being abused. I've had enough.
What do I even do about this? I feel like I'm getting more sick by the day because of all this trauma. I'm literally trapped. I'm tired. My soul is literally tired.
If I alert authorities. My entire family will turn on me. All but one. My grandmother's daughter. My auntie. Is also cast out by her. So I do speak to her about the abuse which helps.
But it doesn't help my situation. I'm still trapped here. My auntie has a full house and is also dealing with illness herself. So that's not an option unfortunately.
Has anyone experienced anything like this with their grandmother?
It makes me sick because everyone thinks she's a lovely old lady. She puts on this false image in public. But behind closed doors. She's a monster. An absolute monster. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff she says to me I can barely believe it myself. She's told me to unalive myself and that nobody loves me and she hates me.
I know it's awful to say. But I cant wait until she passes 😢 I can then be free of her abuse once and for all. I hate that I think this way about someone. But when theyve abused you your entire life, Belittled you, called you names, attack you, bullied you, destroys and bins your belongings and has trapped you, then blames you for it. You will think and feel the same way. All whilst rubbing how much she loves my siblings in my face.
She makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. Like I'm unlovable. What did I ever do to her!?!
I remember asking this question once and she said I'm imagining things and im being childish and told to grow up and stop being crazy and that I'm weak.
She loves calling me weak and keeps telling me I'm playing the victim. Well.... I am the victim. You're literally abusing me.
It's not crazy if it's reality right?
Sometimes I feel like Im just not from this family. Even my siblings have nothing in common with me and look down on me and don't bother with me. We are 100% from the same mother and father. I just can't understand how I'm cast out and treated like this. I've never done anything wrong to anyone 😔😔
I've asked many times what I've done to deserve this treatment and they just keep saying the same thing. Stop playing the victim or I'm imagining things and to grow up. My feelings are not valid.
I'm constantly just in my bedroom, because if I come out. I become a target. I barely even eat 😢😢 I have 2 meals a week if that and that's when my grandmother goes out. I go down and make something quick to eat. I tend to buy a lot of snacks online. Things I can keep in my bedroom to snack on when I get real hungry, just to avoid coming out of my bedroom.
Not sure how much more heartbreak I can take.
I've planned a day out at the weekend for the first time in 2 years to go see all my friends. To a rave. Because my legs have gained a bit of strength recently after being bed bound for over a year because I've been so ill. Obviously I'm extremely nervous about leaving my house, but I'm trying to force myself to try get myself out of this rut I'm in. My grandmother has done nothing but attack my image, calling me fat and basically trying to destroy my confidence, so I don't go out and calling me other horrible names because it's a rave I'm going to.
Now I used to rave a lot. So it's the only time I get to mix with like minded people. It's always the same people who go and i class them all as my rave family. I've been super excited and obviously nervous about this rave. I planned it just a week ago. My grandmother of course. Is doing everything in her power to try get me to not go. My friends all live dotted around the country, so i barely ever get to see anyone.
I'm not allowed to be happy. Or have a life or do anything for that matter.
I've been trying to exercise using my hula hoops and other flowtoys. Like my leviwand for example. It cost over 300 pound and my grandmother has gone into the tube it's kept in and binned the chargers and string for it. Rendering it useless and saying she's not touched it and im making stuff up and im going crazy!!!
I know she had done it as it was in her cupboard in her room. It had moved completely from where I actually put it. My room is very cluttered as I've had to cram me, my things and my pets all in here with me, due to having left my ex in such a hurry. I feel like I'm living in a closet. So I thought this one item would be safe in that cupboard as it was expensive. She had moved it and shoved something in its box that I know wasn't in there when I put it in there. She's lost all the attatchments, which I know was all together in that box. So now I can't use it at all. Of course.... It's all in my head and I'm the one who's lost these things even though i know for a fact I kept it all safe and together.
She's constantly sabataging me and saying it's all in my head.
I'm Quickly fading. Giving up. But then.... She will attack me for that too. Fcked if I do. Fcked if i don't. I can't win. No matter what I do.
Even if for example... Something has been on its way out... Breaking for a while and she's aware of it, if it breaks, it's automatically my fault.
According to her... Anything that breaks. Even if I haven't touched it. It's my fault. She will deliberately leave things to deteriorate and then blame me when it finally breaks completely. I'm at my wits end.
I'm so lost and just devastated at how horrible my life has been.
Can anyone give me any advice on what I should do about this situation?

Think about this question with me: Losing $500 or Finding $500 on the Ground?
Is the feeling you will feel when you lose $500 the same feeling you will feel when you find $500 on the ground?
Personally, no. The feeling of loss will be greater for me than the feeling of joy if you find money.
I once lost money because I was saying, "If only I found a bag full of money next to the tree in front of me." So I was forbidden to imagine again.
On this topic, there is a consensus among psychologists, that there is one thing that I, you, and the audience have in common, the beauty there:

If you want to delve deeper into this topic, do a search for something called Loss Aversion.
As humans, fear is our main driver every day.
Fear is present with you all week long, and it doubles on Tuesdays.

• When you submit a campaign, the thing you fear most is that it will be rejected.
• When you come to write a copy, the thing you fear most is that you won't be able to write something nice, or that you won't be able to write at all.
• The more you succeed at something, the more afraid you are of ruining it.

Why are we like this?, and why are we so afraid?
Because if what you fear comes true, you will feel pain afterwards.
We do everything to stay away from any pain, our desire to stay away from pain is greater than our desire to be close to any gain - think about it for a while and go back in time, you will find that the subject is Valid.
I know that until now I have not done anything but make you miserable, but I want to clarify the subject for you so that you understand that the audience you sell to in your work is also like us.
"They also want to stay away from pain in any way possible."
And your role here as a copywriter or content creator is to create specific content for the audience, to revolve and revolve around this pain they have so that they take action with you.
But to do this, you need to apply an equation in your copy correctly, this equation we will divide together into 3 steps:
✅ 1. Define the problem: What is the problem that your audience has that is causing them pain? Defining the problem here must be in the simplest possible form on As much as you can, so that the reader can see it clearly and continue reading in the copy.
✅ 2. Show the problem to the customer.
✅ 3. Provide the solution: Present the product or service you have that provides a solution to the problem of the audience and talk about its benefits and advantages, and why it is the best solution?
These are the 3 steps that you know how to write a light copy like this on the pain point of the audience, the problem is that most of those who apply this equation forget the second step, which is:
Put more pressure on the pain.
After you define the problem, you need to put more pressure on the pain than the audience, you need to play on a feeling such as anger, regret, embarrassment, fear, or any negative feeling resulting from the pain caused by the problem.
In other words, you want the person reading your copy to say to himself:

• "Yes, this is true."
• "Enough of what I'm going through."
• "Yes, I want to take action, where is the solution?"

All of this will not happen when you forget to apply the second step.
❌ It is not possible, for example, to sell a weight loss product, and the summary of your copy is:
"Do you want to lose weight and you don't know how? Take this amazing product that burns fat, it's great and beautiful."
"Your journey from A to Z in copywriting."
Before anything, let me tell you that I was in your place at the beginning and exactly like you.
I heard from many people that I write well, but I always felt that there was something missing from me. Many times I repeat the same style and the same methods in writing my copies and I feel that I am not improving.
Researching on Google was confusing me more than it was useful to me, I did not know what I was supposed to do before, and I hear some people give me advice, others tell me the opposite.
And the result in the end is that I do neither this nor that, and I stay the same.
So do you want to be a good copywriter and make more sales?
Are you tired of wasting money, time and effort in the wrong places?
I'm not trying to sell you anything. I'm just here to help you because I was like you. How about starting with a free book? It would be great, right?Get your copy now here for free and for a limited timeunless I delete this post on reddit

Platform: PC Windows
Genre: Educational point and click
Estimated year of release: early 2000s
Graphics/art style: 3D modeled playground of stuff that would do something upon being clicked on. There was a level with interactive village full of cars and people, then there also was a level with a fork and shopping cart and some kind of a ball that would active a dominoe effect on other stuff clicked. The player camera was static, looking at the whole level at once.
Notable characters: No characters, just a bunch of object jiggling and moving and making sounds.
Notable gameplay mechanics: I believe there was a menu with the game’s name in the middle and levels aside. As described previously, the only goal was to click on stuff.
Other details: Last I played it I must have been like 5 years old max, so maybe in 2005-2006. I was also playing Unreal Gold and The Neverhood during this period. Now that I think of all of this, I really wish there was also an English version of this game, as I believe, though I am unsure, that whatever I clicked on, there was this Czech woman’s voice that named what that thing is.

Shortform

• Massive exploration of the Society beyond the big names we've spent time with in Across
• Villains forsaking their rivalries for survival and universes paving their own roads
• Gwen temporarily eating it but coming back, then leaning on her comic self (A variant)'s new Ghost-Spider ident to mark her defying fate's scythe

Premise

Here is the textual taxonomy of trilogys as I've heard in (obscure, hard-to-find) writing structure lessons

• Installment 1: Exposit - What is the subject
• Installment 2: Analyze - What is the subject's meaning
• Installment 3: Perspectivize - What is the subject's value and suasoria

Across may not have been a conclusive Act 2, but it is definitely a valid standalone one

• Expanded the 'verse and the major cast by throwing a curve into their relationships and own philosophies
• Delved deeper into what makes a Spider-Man by presenting a free will vs. determinism arc a la Civil War that also happens to have metacommentary

"I'ma do my own thing."
"We're supposed to be the good guys."
Miles summarized his new path throughout the movie, then Gwen called out the Society for their enabling of so much death and suffering to serve a misguided dogma.
Processing img 3dfm3svn964d1...
There's almost certainly gonna an all-out ideological civil war (fists or not, composite of MCU and comics, but Spiders-only) like that split poster teased.
Gonna be grimly hilarious seeing Spinneret/Spiderling fight Peter B. and Mayday (the former are on Miguel's side to the left, along with Insomniac Spidey)
Yes, I believe there will be a few more new support characters in Beyond - there's a reason certain folks were at the front, and it's just really curious and a wasted opportunity that this Spider-MJ didn't interact at all with this active version of her other (stillborn) daughter or her (Mayday-616B) dad.
I very much appreciate the lifting of other Spidey variants to the zeitgeist fold - Noir, Ham, Gwendy-65, the UK/Punk and Indian ones, the weirdos like Parkedcar from Not! Pixar's Cars, a damn popsicle possibly (lol), a plushie, etc. - but they

Events and Themes

1. Universes

Serving the Installment 3 role, Beyond will probably tie up loose ends and make the above themes reverberate across universes. Like, for 42:

• Miles Prowler can prove that the world doesn't always need Spider-Heroes to save itself, only the spirit of the concept - Spider-Man isn't the center of the multiverse, and given the last movie's title, it will navigate its own fate independent of any Spider at all - let the world do its own thing

Beyond the 'verse of men of spiders, Reality-42 rises up against villainy.

• Maybe Kingpin and Dr. Octopus return someway, then emulate their TAS 1994 counterparts in allying with the Spiders out of existential pragmatics

2. Characters and Developments

By "reverberate," the Spider-Hero question is going to strike real nerves that change the Society and the world, making them examine the morality of the war they fight against anomalies like Spot; survival at all means and costs vs. idealistic stand against fate. And for certain Spiders, we could get more screentime with certain Society members and ex-members - preferably Spinneret and Spiderling, the Insomniac Spideys, and Scarlet Spider - and Endgame-ify Beyond's length.

• The RYV (Reality-18119, Renew Your Vows) Parkers confide with the others including Peter B. on family and how do they keep it together in light of their role as preserving fate and existence itself
• PS4/5 bros relate their experiences of loss and keeping going, especially to 1610B Miles. A great way of giving a layman on the games' plots while relaying their themes to the wider non-gamer audience
• Ben Reilly (Scarlet bro), being a Pete clone and a technical predecessor to Miles, will have his status put to address. His struggles with his inheritance and identity - bearing the names of Peter's parental figures - will probably mirror Ultimate Spider-Woman, and hopefully, he's a major outcrier against Miguel's misguided cause
• Jess-332's and Peter B's babies will interact, leading to the former's moral realization due to Peter B's time with Miles being the reason for his family's reconstruction - influenced solely by extrauniversal (of course anomalous) factors. Throw that Madame Web Spidey (Julia Carpenter) into the fray somehow?
• Interuniversal linkage like in the comics (616/928 and 65/8) can be explored to further the fate-changing theme; whether 928B the bad future of 616B is an inevitability - we haven't really explored 928B - and whether 42 is 1610B's worst possible self and how it can change. The Miles/Gwen dynamic could play here too, 65B and 1610B and the references to the number 8 (which happens to resemble the infinity sign - "infinite Spider possibilities") in Across. Not suggesting that Comics Earth 8's characters play any role, tho, 'cuz per the themes, the duo should connect on their terms
• Variant Miguels when, Sony - like the variant MJs, Harrys, Normans, Flashes, and Gwens, etc. Get freaking Edge of Time, not just Ultimate and 1994, in it
• The locked-up anomalous villains perhaps even helping stop Spot - like Kingpin and Ock above. Basically No Way Home's scenario but tweaked a bit and writ large; let them decide whether to have a new lease of life or to keep their exploits going - their outcomes, their terms as usual. I wonder how would Atari Osborn fare, though, XD

Feel free to add more :) Not quite a Marvel binger yet, XD

3. Fates

Another element to be addressed is the room elephant of canon events. Their loopholes, their flexibility have to be expanded upon: They are fluid like time's arrows and oceans. For one:

• George lives? Sorry, but Gwen's relationship with him remains strained, on top of her guilt from treachery and deception. Also, the canon event ain't really death, but the Captain losing their job

Maybe we even trade one event for another, as in a major death of sorts. In my opinion:

• Not Peter B., because he's a living meta rebuttal to people holding off (at the very least) on an aged-up/married/parent Peter, the 616 editorial included. Him dying, let alone Mayday (toddler, so definite write-off), would undermine this subtext
• Not Jess, 'cuz she's a mother and despite her jerkish mentor habits seems willing to look the other way for turncoats like Margo/Byte
• Not Jeff, 'cuz that would just prove Miggy's point in light of George being living proof, as well as utterly render worthless all the effort thrown into saving him
• Not Miguel (yes, how dare I), 'cuz for all his pain-motivated harshness, he deserves better than the cliche'd fatal redemption trope of villains, of which he technically ain't one (and don't "Thanos" this as unlike Migs, he knew of better options but foregone it)

Here's a unique twist: The mastermind behind this Spider- conspiracy grows a conscience after all the breaking lectures against his warped view of canon events, then resolves to save as many lives as possible, dropping all pretenses of controlling the Spider-War
At risk to himself, he'll unhesitatingly save lives while one/some of those who blindly followed him give theirs. As shitty as his Society's turned out to be, they still have their main directive of fixing multiversal incursions, and someone has to keep giving the orders, someone with the most drive and commitment (especially for atonement)
Why on Miguel? Matured thinking aside, it evokes how science and philosophy works; cognitive science has this cliché of at least two sides theorizing extremes that are contrary to one another, and as time passes with discovery, the proof points to both sides having a point and deciding on a compromise; this of course goes beyond simple personal disagreement
So who'll it be?
Spider-gents and ladies, none other than Gwendolyn Maxine Stacy of Earth-65B
In the vein of MCU Aunt May being her Pete's Uncle Ben delivering that responsibility quote, and through it occurs the Spider-Verse's true Ultimate Fallout/Death of a Spider event this way
Gwen being slain and (certainly) coming back would be a wakeup call to both her world and the Society, as well as the latter group's morality in their internal strife and conflict against Spot. Redeem her image to everybody, Miles included, while allowing them to get together on solitary terms
That way:

• Miguel's right that being a Spider is a sacrifice, it's just their assigned canon events ain't 1:1 across every universe
• Miles' right that you can have and eat two cakes - meaning canon events can be alleviated (such as debris falling on Singh without killing him) - it's just that there's a cost

It'd also be a roundabout redemption for blindly following the Society's beliefs and causing unnecessary pain to Miles, deeper than "My well-meaning side right, your well-meaning side wrong" - no, both sides can have their two cakes; say, the rest save Jeff, Gwen herself - the motherless one - saves Rio, let 1610B not be 1610A in this particular way
I'ma spitball here, but it's kinda like Nolanverse (TDKR) Batman, come to think of it. Maybe George is informed of and reveals his daughter's "demise" and publicizes her ident? The latter I admit is questionable
Maybe Gwen goes to 1610B and RVs with Miles to Florence - there's this café on the banks of the Arno - for a fine evening sitting there and ordering a Fernet Branca
XD

(Potential) Foreshadowing

• Proof for the 42 antiheroes' case:

... "We wanted to craft this moment where Miles encounters this powerful figure in his life that he loved so much and he lost," says director Justin K. Thompson. "That's when he realizes that he is not really in his own dimension, as well as the gravity of what he has lost. In this reality, Aaron had to shake off his life of crime and became a surrogate father figure to Miles."
... In this alternate reality, the Sinister Six have been able to flourish and take over the world. "Criminality runs rampant," says Thompson. "We wanted to create a world where it felt like Aaron and Miles G. Morales of Earth-42 [this reality's counterpart to Miles Morales] are the only heroes.
Zahed, R. (2023). Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse: The Art of the Movie. Abrams Books. THE WORLDS → Earth-42, p.190
... This version of the character was never bitten by a radioactive spider and doesn't have any superpowers, but he has fallen into the role of becoming the vigilante the Prowler, under the tutelage of his uncle Aaron. ...
Zahed, R. (2023). Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse: The Art of the Movie. Abrams Books. THE WORLDS → Miles G. Morales: The Prowler, p.200

• Here's a pattern: We meet multiple Spidey-Peters and our intro hero is, well, RIPeter, then some podcast revealed we'd be meeting multiple Gwens in Beyond; timestamp 17:51-18:45

Interviewer: Will we see other multiversal variants of Gwen Stacy in the future even if they don't have spider powers, like you do with MJ, Uncle Aaron, and Miles?
Lord: Currently yes. ... But there’s one I’m very excited about.
Miller: Yes, yeah, I know exactly the one you’re talking about.
Lord: You know the one I’m thinking of, which is based on... I’m not gonna say anything, I’m not gonna say anything.
Miller: But it is sort of plot-integral, I would say.
Interviewer: If there are other multiversal variants of Gwen in Beyond the Spider-Verse, will they impact her arc, her relationship with Miles?
Lord: I would say yes.

The Pete variants showed up after Blondie's demise, so they might reverse the sequence here - as I said, a bookend.
Yea, all these signs totally bode well for the other blonde Spidey here
Processing img kpz7vzvub64d1...

• Friendly reminder they referenced fuckin' Ultimate Fallout of all storylines in Gwen's room, under which she mostly lingers while speaking with her dad. Are you telling me that scene just happened to be shot like that? No, they orchestrated it! L&M! The story that deals with Miles' overall debut and the (of course, cue pathos) fallout of 1610A Spidey's demise! Been struggling to find and spot it honestly, damn lighting and coloring
• Guess what's 1610A Pete (the original Ultimate comics version, not blond RIPeter)'s death age? 16, exactly 65B Gwen's present age. MCU Pete's too when he was snapped
• Notice the last part of the Canon Event exposition scene; Hobie's got the Spider-Man No More comic panel, Jess-332 the If This Be My Destiny one, Peter B. the wedding, and Gwen? Spidey rising from the grave in Kraven's Last Hunt, modified with herself doing the feat. The kicker here: Neither Hobie nor Gwen's displayed events have official releases yet, although Hobie did say he opted out of chasing Miles - which is to say she's next and last, as well as #4 (so deathly the connotations) on the shown list

In Defense

Now calm down before you web pitchforks on me

• People keep saying there has to be a much more nuanced wrap-up - an idea with traction around these subs in a good way; to this day, people argue whether that Mumbattan hole was Spot BS or a canon event's unraveling. Mine has that nuance IMO
• Migs up and stated Mumbattan wasn't their first canon event ruptures rodeo and they couldn't save some 'verses from them, why would he be bullshitting or even fully wrong on CEs if he had that Spider team with specialized equipment for canon event containment? They were conveniently there right as that hole formed, and hell, they could reconcile that hole with the Dead Migs dimension where everything digitally evaporates as the latter being the end result
• He put on his shitlist Spider-Holland (maybe along with Maguire, Garfield (the light one)) for a reason - not hesitating to save MCU MJ (Michelle Jones-Watson) rather than let her be Spider-Tom's ASM-121 moment - although one can argue the memory wipe counts as first love loss, along with his Iron Man being his police captain canon event - and Raimi-verse Gwen is very much (per that meme) hot, single, and alive. Observing Sinister, Supreme, and 838/Illuminati-Strange's destroyed realities made him a rage button for 2099
• Showing the other 'verses like the comic-based What Ifs and that Armored Spider-Man one from the 1994 cartoon? It's kind of like a cheat out of the dilemma, and I'm not sure the other viewers would agree. Miguel also knows of Dr. Strange and possibly his What If? versions
  • Before someone "Absolute Points solve themselves, Society's unneeded" me, we know too the APs are a nascent concept and Miguel probably thought no two universes will always solve themselves and CEs are probably spontaneous - maybe a day, a week, or even a year plus, they will happen, scapegoat or not
  • To the people who say Migs was mistaken in how he destroyed that reality and that it was an Incursion: IT WASN'T ONE, because it would have caused a collision course between that 'verse and 928B, which I don't think they have any means to stop - only someone like Strange. Aside from the trolley sacrifice of one Earth, we're not privy to what are the other seven ways to averting Incursions. Guess what, Gabri's reality went poof on its apparent own while 928B stayed very much alive. Didn't even look like 928B was approaching from the skies at the time either
  • Returning to Miles' side, I also hear of the fixed time points comparison from Dr. Who; I'd like to point out the Doctor was able to fake his death by hiding inside a, uh, humanoid ship at Lake Silencio, so I've read, despite records saying so
• They keep insisting "First time for everything," right, plus the cake stuff? Why not a Venom Blast resuscitation somehow on the brink of death, then being comatose or some other critical injury so the "lost Lenore" event doesn't stick? Or! In the style of BvS Dawn of Justice and What if? Spider-Man The Other (plus Ultimate Gwen ofc)...symbiotic resurrection (possibly even transporting that one symbiote drop in that bar in the MCU), and cue Gwenom arc in some spinoff like Spider-Women
• Alternatively, to avoid the fridged LI trope absolutely, Rio gets the Ultimate comics treatment of death somehow - but as said repeatedly, doing one's own thing, and I think this Spider-War's seen enough dead Moraleses. Miles has already grown and seen enough from the other Spiders' losses and his own. Honestly, people need to hear comic quotes often, take Mark Waid's Daredevil run:

Rachel Cole: You know what gives me the strength? My loss. We're alike that way, I imagine. Admit it, nobody who's a stranger to that particular pain could ever be as driven as us.
Daredevil: Never... Don't you ever say that to me ever again, that is a repellent statement, it's a vomituous insult to every cop, every fireman, every soldier alive who steps up to fight for those who can't! I am sorry for your loss, but if you genuinely believe that only the death of a loved one can motivate a human being to take up a cause...then get your pathetic cynical ass out of my way so I can do my job!

It's relevant because Rachel's stance here was that people like them who fight for causes are solely inspired by loss, only for Matt to verbally skewer her. The subtext here, synthesizing it with the Spidey mythos is that it's misguided to think that losing forever more loved ones is the only way to make a true Spider-Hero.
Flip the narrative and say "Villainy only happens if they're abused/poorly raised, alas, poor villain;" one is warranted to call it a vomitous insult to every abuse victim/improperly raised junior out there who became better than their elders/superiors - i.e. not go evil.
Either way, the greater gist of this is losing a close one for good isn't the way, emphasis on "for good"

Future Implications

Wrapping everything up like above (I mean the objectives), one way or another (not necessarily mine), would show full commitment to the theme of forging one's own destiny right down to the metatextual. The Spidersoc let confirmation bias blind themselves to possibilities and seemingly have yet to expose themselves to the preestablished branch realities where, say, Spider-People lose nobody or a Gwen Stacy ties neatly her romance quest with a Spidey. The themes of doing your own thing openly and honestly and in safety - rather than requesting permission from broken systems - resonate much with an Excel list: People who are queeof colowomen/disabled
Beyond that obviousness, we have disabled Spideys, Muslim Spideys (that female UK one), Blob-fat Spideys - even PLUSHIE Spideys, just to name a few, all to show the movie being the most diverse and inclusive Spidey work to date. These themes are so incredibly applicable to the lives of atypical people or otherwise people who live under systems that aren't designed for them to succeed. IE: POC, women, queer people, people with disabilities, etc. One can argue "doing your own thing" was what made ItSV such a breakthrough success and a decade phenomenon: Everything about the animation
I get that a teen girl dying, even temporarily - especially one who resonates much with LGBT (transgwender specifically) themes - is real bad optics, but we went through this before with Luz Noceda (bi rep exactly) from The Owl House, and things landed on their feet :)
If/When she comes back to crimefighting, this would be the moment she goes by Ghost Spider like her A self - a Gwen who fought fate and died for it, but another Spider loved her so much, he raised her from death to life in Ultimate defiance (getting flowery prose here) that prevails

Narcissistic grandmother.
Where do i begin.... So my grandmother has always been abusive to me. For as long as i can remember.
As a child my mum and dad practically dumped me on my grandmother and grandfather's step. They took me in. My grandad was always my angel. He loved me so much and I was always the apple of his eye. Sadly in 2009 he died from leukaemia. He was diagnosed on his birthday. Died a year later on his birthday 😔 me and my grandmother never really got along. She always looked down her nose at me. Like I was a piece of shit under her shoe.
It was just me who got dumped on my grandparents step. My sisters went with my mum and my brother with my dad when they split up.
Now.... I don't know much about her upbringing because I literally can't speak to the woman. She is very... Undermining and passive agressive. So I just don't bother as its never pleasant to speak to her. Never has been.
So I have 2 sisters and a brother. My grandmother idolises them. Very openly, almost like it's done purposely to make me feel as low as possible. I am constantly left out of family outings, holidays, meals. You name it. It's making me resent my own siblings.
I became the black sheep very quickly. I have to watch my family doing things together, while I'm constantly left out. Watching from the sidelines, Unacknowledged, Forgotten about if you will.
Fast forward... At this point id had enough. So I moved in with my then boyfriend. I was obviously extremely happy to get away from my grandmother and family. I moved to a different city.
Things were great at first... Sadly he started to change after a while. He started to abuse me also and get violent towards me. I found out he had abused 2 women before me. I escaped with my life barely. But I had nowhere to live or any money as my ex had taken everything off me and used me for my money the entire time and I would like to add that this man also made me disabled. ( trauma induced fibromyalgia, chronic pain and fatigue, ptsd, depression, the whole lot )
So I had to move back in with my evil grandmother, but this time... I'm disabled at this point 😔 the trauma and stress of previous life abuses and obviously the trauma of domestic violence had made me extremely ill. I couldn't even walk. I've been in and out of hospital and doctors you name it.
So now, my grandmother has an evil new tactic up her sleeve. Because I'm now disabled, she uses my illness as a weapon to abuse me. Saying "your brain has gone" " you're crazy " . And calling me and i quote a " fat tw*t " obviously because of my ptsd, I was terrified to leave the house and now my own grandmother is attacking my appearance and mental health and disability all at the same time. My illness has turned my life upside down.
She is taking nearly all my money from me, so I'm unable to save up to leave. Shelters are only offering me places half way across the country, alone, which would absolutely terrify me.
I have had a pretty lonely existence and still live a lonely existence. My pets are my everything and shelters also do not allow pets. So I feel trapped now. I cannot survive without my pets. They're all I have.
I'm trapped with a woman who causes a fight with me any time I leave my bedroom. She attacks my disibilty, my mental health, calls me names, she bins my belongings and throws my stuff around all over the floor. She purposely breaks my belongings. Then she gaslights me.
She literally says I'm imagining things when she does all this stuff to me. All while turning the rest of my family against me by telling them, I'm unruly. Because I'm defending myself and standing my ground on what I know to be true. I've even resorted to recording her when she starts these fights with me. But even when I show my siblings. They instantly side with her or say it's nothing to do with them. Even if I tell my mum. She doesn't care. My mum is a very selfish woman. She has a drug addiction. So she only cares about herself and herself only. My dad has just got a whole seperate life now and a new gf. Wants nothing to do with me or anyone else besides his gf.
I've been abused my entire life. I'm still being abused. I've had enough.
What do I even do about this? I feel like I'm getting more sick by the day because of all this trauma. I'm literally trapped. I'm tired. My soul is literally tired.
If I alert authorities. My entire family will turn on me. All but one. My grandmother's daughter. My auntie. Is also cast out by her. So I do speak to her about the abuse which helps.
But it doesn't help my situation. I'm still trapped here. My auntie has a full house and is also dealing with illness herself. So that's not an option unfortunately.
Has anyone experienced anything like this with their grandmother?
It makes me sick because everyone thinks she's a lovely old lady. She puts on this false image in public. But behind closed doors. She's a monster. An absolute monster. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff she says to me I can barely believe it myself. She's told me to unalive myself and that nobody loves me and she hates me.
I know it's awful to say. But I cant wait until she passes 😢 I can then be free of her abuse once and for all. I hate that I think this way about someone. But when theyve abused you your entire life, Belittled you, called you names, attack you, bullied you, destroys and bins your belongings and has trapped you, then blames you for it. You will think and feel the same way. All whilst rubbing how much she loves my siblings in my face.
She makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. Like I'm unlovable. What did I ever do to her!?!
I remember asking this question once and she said I'm imagining things and im being childish and told to grow up and stop being crazy and that I'm weak.
She loves calling me weak and keeps telling me I'm playing the victim. Well.... I am the victim. You're literally abusing me.
It's not crazy if it's reality right?
Sometimes I feel like Im just not from this family. Even my siblings have nothing in common with me and look down on me and don't bother with me. We are 100% from the same mother and father. I just can't understand how I'm cast out and treated like this. I've never done anything wrong to anyone 😔😔
I've asked many times what I've done to deserve this treatment and they just keep saying the same thing. Stop playing the victim or I'm imagining things and to grow up. My feelings are not valid.
I'm constantly just in my bedroom, because if I come out. I become a target. I barely even eat 😢😢 I have 2 meals a week if that and that's when my grandmother goes out. I go down and make something quick to eat. I tend to buy a lot of snacks online. Things I can keep in my bedroom to snack on when I get real hungry, just to avoid coming out of my bedroom.
Not sure how much more heartbreak I can take.
I've planned a day out at the weekend for the first time in 2 years to go see all my friends. To a rave. Because my legs have gained a bit of strength recently after being bed bound for over a year because I've been so ill. Obviously I'm extremely nervous about leaving my house, but I'm trying to force myself to try get myself out of this rut I'm in. My grandmother has done nothing but attack my image, calling me fat and basically trying to destroy my confidence, so I don't go out and calling me other horrible names because it's a rave I'm going to.
Now I used to rave a lot. So it's the only time I get to mix with like minded people. It's always the same people who go and i class them all as my rave family. I've been super excited and obviously nervous about this rave. I planned it just a week ago. My grandmother of course. Is doing everything in her power to try get me to not go. My friends all live dotted around the country, so i barely ever get to see anyone.
I'm not allowed to be happy. Or have a life or do anything for that matter.
I've been trying to exercise using my hula hoops and other flowtoys. Like my leviwand for example. It cost over 300 pound and my grandmother has gone into the tube it's kept in and binned the chargers and string for it. Rendering it useless and saying she's not touched it and im making stuff up and im going crazy!!!
I know she had done it as it was in her cupboard in her room. It had moved completely from where I actually put it. My room is very cluttered as I've had to cram me, my things and my pets all in here with me, due to having left my ex in such a hurry. I feel like I'm living in a closet. So I thought this one item would be safe in that cupboard as it was expensive. She had moved it and shoved something in its box that I know wasn't in there when I put it in there. She's lost all the attatchments, which I know was all together in that box. So now I can't use it at all. Of course.... It's all in my head and I'm the one who's lost these things even though i know for a fact I kept it all safe and together.
She's constantly sabataging me and saying it's all in my head.
I'm Quickly fading. Giving up. But then.... She will attack me for that too. Fcked if I do. Fcked if i don't. I can't win. No matter what I do.
Even if for example... Something has been on its way out... Breaking for a while and she's aware of it, if it breaks, it's automatically my fault.
According to her... Anything that breaks. Even if I haven't touched it. It's my fault. She will deliberately leave things to deteriorate and then blame me when it finally breaks completely. I'm at my wits end.
I'm so lost and just devastated at how horrible my life has been.
Can anyone give me any advice on what I should do about this situation?

In which this ficnapping first-timer tackles An Introduction to Terran Zoology by u/Still_Performance_39. I'm still a newbie author, so imagine my surprise when I'm handed one of the most popular stories on the sub. One that's received the rare honor of being approved by the fifteenth holy knight of space himself. No pressure I guess lol.
I knew what I wanted to write about, at least. I've been waiting for this series to cover the ocean, so this was the perfect opportunity to do it myself! I had to think hard about what to include; the ocean is a big place after all. See if you can guess the secret (really obvious) theme I went with! Fingers crossed I did this story justice! (Shoutout to Wikipedia btw)
Memory transcription subject: Rysel, Venlil Environmental Researcher
Date [standardized human time]: Idk sometime after Cilany’s broadcast
Brahk, brahk, brahk!
I tore across the campus, sprinting for the Terran Zoology lecture hall as fast as my legs could carry me.
I can’t believe I overslept! Of all days, it had to be today.
Dr. Bernard had teased today’s topic last time. “By now we’ve learned about animals from all over Earth, and through our simulation exercises you’ve seen for yourselves how intricate Terran ecosystems can be.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Everybody’s simulated ecosystems had failed catastrophically on their first attempts. It’d taken a herd of paws for everyone to accept how necessary predators were to maintain balance in Earth’s ecosystems.
“With what we’ve learned so far, we are ready to finally tackle one of if not the most complex and vibrant ecosystems on Earth: the coral reef. This lesson even has some direct relevance to us here on Venlil Prime. You might have heard the recent news about those biologists exploring Venlil Prime’s oceans not far from here. Well, the region they’ve been studying shares many things in common with Terran coral reefs. Learning about reefs on Earth could be a useful reference point for uncovering the secrets of your own oceans. I hope to see you all tomorrow!”
I’d been so excited I could barely fall asleep. I’d also completely forgotten that Milam was away visiting family. Why did that matter? Well, without the raucous squawking of her alarm, I’d overslept, and now I was about to be late!
My lungs and legs burned, but I pressed forward. There, the lecture hall’s door was still open! I dashed inside and scrambled to my seat, gasping and wheezing as I tried to still my beating heart. I’d made it.
“Wow, Rysel, you’re right on time. That’s the latest you’ve been yet!”
I glanced to my right and saw Sandi chuckling heartily at my expense.
“I -hrrf- over -hrrf- slept,” I wheezed, “didn’t -huff- want to -huff- miss this -huff- though.”
“Hmph. Rysel, of all Venlil, oversleeping for one of the Doctor’s lessons. Never thought I’d see the day,” Kailo scoffed from my left, snuggled deep into his duvet. I supposed it was technically an insult, but there was no hostility in his tone. I knew what real anger and hostility sounded like from him, and he hadn’t done or said anything like that for some time. No, this was just Kailo being Kailo.
I flicked my tail at him in a friendly greeting. “Good paw to you too, Kailo.”
He huffed and turned away, but I didn’t miss his tail swishing under his seat.
Kailo’s changed so much since our first day. It’s like he’s a different person. Honestly, I sometimes feel like a different person too.
I’d come a long way from being scared of humans and enrolling in the exchange program for money. Now, these classes were the highlight of every paw, and I couldn’t imagine wanting to do anything else.
My reminiscing was cut short by a familiar series of sharp knocks on the doorframe. My tail whirled with glee at the sight of the familiar figure.
“Good morning everyone! How’re we all doing on this very fine paw?” Dr. Bernard greeted us with a beaming smile.
Most of us beeped out a cheery hello in response. I glanced around the room, warm contentment welling in my chest. We were no longer the nervous, skeptical, and borderline hostile class Dr. Bernard had to put up with on the first day. Now, even the shyest participants flicked a friendly greeting in his direction.
“Excellent! I’m always delighted to hear your enthusiasm. Now, just to remind you, today we’ll be taking our first proper look at one of the most beautiful biomes Earth’s oceans have to offer. I always enjoy chatting with you all, but we do have a lot to get through today. Would anyone object if we skipped the banter this time and dive straight into the material?”
Yes, I’m ready! Let’s go!
The rest of the class echoed my sentiment, beeping with varying levels of excitement and curiosity. Bernard smiled as he glanced over everyone, his gaze lingering on me. “I’m happy to see that everyone’s excited for today’s lesson.”
It was at this point that I noticed that in my excitement, I’d jumped out of my seat and lunged onto the table. Sandi was chuckling merrily, and I heard a cough from Kailo underneath his blanket cocoon. Did I say that out loud? I slowly slid back into my seat, my ears blooming hot orange from embarrassment. I knew at this point that Bernard wouldn’t take offense to my outburst, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing for a grown man to be jumping up and down like a pup.
“Since everyone seems to be on board,” Bernard said, graciously distracting everyone from my faux pas, “let’s dive right into our ocean lesson, shall we?”
His pun was met with scattered beeps and groans, though most of the class let out merry bleats to express their excitement for the lesson. The classroom’s monitor flickered to life, and gasps echoed throughout the room. The image showed a rocky seabed covered with what looked like strangely shaped rocks in a wide array of bright colors. The fish swimming among the rocks, many of them as colorful as their environment, stood out against the deep blue background of the ocean water. Of all the gorgeous pictures of life on Earth I’d seen, none had ever been this vibrant, this full of color. It almost felt like I was looking at an art exhibit.
Wow… this develops naturally_? It’s so pretty! I wonder how the rocks form those bright colors._
“There’s really only one way to start a lecture about coral reefs, and that’s with the animals that give them their name. Coral!”
Bernard changed the screen to a close-up of the weird rocks.
“Now, at first glance, these may just look like a bunch of weird rocks.” Wait, they’re not? “But they are actually colonies of living creatures.”
Confused beeps and whispers broke out in the audience, as people tried to wrap their heads around how the objects on the screen could possibly be animals. My mind went back to our first day, when we classified a bunch of Earth creatures as prey or predator. There had been quite a few aquatic animals, and several of them hadn’t looked anything like animals. Maybe this was something like that?
It seemed my seat neighbors had come to similar conclusions, as both of them looked relatively unfazed by Bernard’s reveal, Milam instead flicking her ear in thought while Kailo leaned forward with intense focus.
“Each of these colorful formations is made up of hundreds of tiny, genetically identical individuals called polyps.”
The screen changed to a close-up shot of what at first glance looked like a fleshy plant that had grown roots into the rock, but the diagram next to it had labels that read things like “tentacle,” “mouth,” and “stomach.” Animal parts, not plant parts.
“This is an individual polyp. They are very small, typically only a few millimeters in diameter and a few centimeters in height. They anchor themselves in one place by secreting an exoskeleton of calcium carbonate from their base. From their anchored spot, they catch and eat any food that drifts by with the tentacles by their mouth. The exoskeleton they make gets left behind, allowing new generations of the colony to build on top of it. Thus, over many generations, the colony can build a skeleton like the ones you saw in the previous photo, up to several meters in size.”
So that was how it worked! It made sense once he explained it. Colonial organisms were an uncommon but familiar concept in the Federation, though they mostly consisted of various small insects. The idea of invertebrates secreting an exoskeleton was also a known concept. This was the first time I’d seen both traits in a single creature, though.
“These skeletons are the structure upon which the reef ecosystem grows, providing shelter for thousands of different species. Even though they occupy less than 0.1% of the world's ocean area, they provide a home for at least 25% of all marine species, making them one of the most diverse ecosystems on the planet.”
With the truly staggering variety of species on Earth, 25% was no small number. My ears tilted back in awe at the pictures of the reefs on screen. They were like… underwater cities! Living cities that built themselves and teemed with all kinds of wonderfully fascinating creatures.
Bernard glanced around the room, wearing his “I’m about to ask a question” smile. The question arrived soon after. “Would anyone like to guess what corals’ diet consists of?”
Let’s see… they grab things with their tentacles, but they don’t move, meaning that they have to subsist on whatever floats by. Hmmm, why does that sound familiar…
The images from our first day still floated around in my mind. Wait! That’s it! I raised my paw.
“Yes, Rysel?”
“Is it like the jellyfish from our first day? Snagging small creatures in their tentacles and pulling them into their mouths?”
Bernard grinned widely. “Excellent conclusion, Rysel. You are right, coral polyps do indeed have similar feeding habits to those of jellyfish. Both coral and jellyfish belong to the phylum Cnidaria, so you were correct to draw parallels between the two. Obviously, due to their size, any prey they catch must also be microscopic.”
My tail wagged proudly at his praise. The feeding behaviors of jellyfish had horrified me back then, but now I could take it in stride. The fact that I could even remotely navigate the humans’ complicated classification system gave me even more satisfaction. I glanced around the room. A few classmates seemed a bit uncomfortable at the mention of coral’s predatory nature, but most remained fascinated and engaged. It’d taken months, but we were finally beginning to appreciate predators as something more than monsters, even if they had to be predators that didn’t even look like animals.
“However, while corals do feed with their tentacles, that isn’t actually where most of their energy comes from. You see, most corals have evolved a symbiotic relationship with certain types of algae that live in their tissues, which they acquire from the surrounding environment. The algae produce energy through photosynthesis, which the coral can then use. Algae also aid the coral in calcification for the coral skeleton and waste removal. The algae, in turn, benefit by having a safe place to live, and by consuming the coral’s carbon dioxide and waste products as nutrients. Truly an excellent example of two species coming together for the mutual benefit of one another.”
I knew what symbiosis was, of course. Traditional Federation classes loved to highlight how different prey species united together to benefit one another. It was considered a major part of the innate empathy in prey species that predators lacked. Not only was Bernard showing us a symbiotic relationship involving what would traditionally be considered a predator, but said predator was allied with a plant, of all things!
Was this phenomenon unique to Earth, or was this yet another thing the Federation hid from all of us?
“The coral reef is filled with mutually beneficial relationships like this. Take, for example, one of the most iconic reef creatures, the sea anemone.”
With the push of a button, the screen changed to show a creature that loosely resembled a coral polyp, only bigger, more colorful, and with longer tentacles.
“Now, sea anemones are close relatives of coral, and they share many similarities. They feed in much the same way as coral, snaring prey with their stinging tentacles and drawing it into the mouth. Their diet mainly consists of small fish, crustaceans, and other appropriately sized organisms. Despite its predatory nature, the sea anemone is often considered the poster child of mutualism in the ocean.”
Bernard’s words prompted hushed murmuring throughout the classroom. I was a bit unsettled by the anemone’s predator status, but those feelings were overwhelmed by my sensation of curiosity. What was it about anemones that made their relationships so notable? I just had to know!
I turned my ears to the conversations around me. Some classmates were saying that any mutualistic relationships an anemone could have must be predatory in nature: a union with other predators to hunt and kill more efficiently. Others argued it could be something else, like the coral and algae from before. Someone suggested that the humans were wrong about them, but that notion was quickly shot down.
Everyone’s reactions made me realize just how desensitized we’d all become to “predatory” things. While the term was still uncomfortable, Bernard had, through his lessons, patiently instilled in us the idea that predators were more than wanton bloodlust and violence. There existed predators like that, of course, but with such a broad and diverse class of animals, one would expect some horrible ones due to sheer statistics. Likewise, there would be plenty of good ones.
Sea anemones are predators, yet they’re famous for their mutually beneficial relationships with other lifeforms. If someone said something like that to me months ago, I’d never have believed them. I was so certain that I knew the fundamental mechanisms of ecosystems like the back of my paw. I chuckled to myself. Stars, so much has changed since then.
“First of all, many sea anemones form symbiotic relationships with algae in the same way corals do, benefiting from their photosynthesis while offering shelter and protection in return. But that’s hardly the only relationship they’re known for.”
Bernard changed the screen to a video of an anemone. Bright orange fish with white stripes swam around its tentacles. My heart skipped a beat as one brushed up against the tentacles, but the fish seemed unaffected by the anemone’s venom, much to my relief.
“This right here is one of the most famous symbiotic relationships on Earth: the sea anemone and the clownfish. These small, colorful fish have adapted to the anemone’s stinging tentacles, allowing them to nestle among them. The anemone protects the clownfish from predators, functions as a safe nesting site, and provides food from the leftover scraps of the anemone’s meals. The clownfish, in turn, defend the anemone from its predators, provide nutrients through their excrement, and circulate the water around the anemone, improving its respiration.”
As Bernard talked, the fish on the screen frolicked around their tentacled friend, the adorable sight eliciting pleased mewls from several audience members.
They protect each other, they feed each other, and they play together too! Who knew that two wildly different species could have such a beautiful friendship, even when one of them doesn’t have a brain!
Vlek spoke up, his voice skeptical. “Excuse me Doctor. You said that clownfish feed off of anemones’ meals. They are predators as well, then?”
“One could make that argument,” Bernard replied, “clownfish are omnivorous, and primarily feed on ambient zooplankton, with their diets supplemented by their anemone’s scraps and algae. The microscopic organisms they eat are so abundant that they don’t really need to hunt; they can just munch on whatever happens to drift by.”
“Like their anemone friends!”
“Yes, Rova, like their anemone friends!”
The class seemed to have mixed feelings about the clownfish’s diet. Zooplankton being tiny, simple creatures made it easier, but some still squirmed at the thought. Personally, I didn’t think it took away from how fascinating this duo was. As I’d come to learn with most predators, their diets weren’t what defined them; they were just one of many facets of their nature.
Bernard changed the slide to a photo of a different fish. “While clownfish are the most famous species to form mutualistic relationships with sea anemones, they are hardly the only ones. Take this cardinalfish, for example…”
Bernard went on to highlight several more species with special relationships with sea anemones, each one fascinating in its own way. Fish that laid their eggs among their tentacles. Snails that used them as shelter from predators. Crabs that mounted them on their shells for defense. One type of crab even attached anemones to its claws, using them as living weapons!
Such a simplistic creature, yet it’s evolved a rich network of relationships with so many different species. No wonder Bernard called them iconic.
Kailo fidgeted next to me. Something was obviously bugging him, but he seemed hesitant to speak up.
“Before we move on, does anybody have questions?” Bernard asked smoothly. He probably noticed Kailo’s uncertainty too. He had a teacher’s eye for that sort of thing.
Kailo huffed with determination and raised his paw. “Yes, Kailo?”
“Um, all the animals you’ve talked about so far have been pred– carnivores and omnivores. Where are all the pre– herbivorous fish?”
Bernard grinned. “That’s an excellent question, Kailo. There are herbivorous fish that graze on the algae of the coral, such as the parrotfish and the rabbitfish. That said, true herbivores are relatively uncommon in the ocean. After all, there aren’t many plants around besides algae and seaweed, and a lot of the algae that is there is integrated into the bodies of coral polyps. Thus, thanks to natural selection, most underwater species consume flesh in some form.”
A few months ago Kailo would’ve exploded in anger and denial at that response, but now his ears just tilted in confusion. “But… how can that work?? How can an ecosystem with so many pred– meat eaters sustain any sort of population, let alone the vast numbers you told us?”
Several sets of ears flicked in agreement at Kailo’s question.
“Of course, given what we know about land ecosystems, it makes sense to assume that the base of the food chain would be mostly herbivores. Under the sea, however, plants are much less abundant, so that role is filled by other animals. Some creatures derive nutrition by filtering food from the water or sand, much like a plant would pull sustenance from the air and ground. Many species, especially smaller ones, reproduce frequently and in large quantities, allowing them to sustain significant populations even when predators regularly hunt them. Finally, and this is a good transition into our next section, not all carnivores are predators.”
Wait. Huh? How does that even work? Isn’t that an oxymoron?
“Well, technically they are predators to the microscopic organisms they feed on, but they certainly aren’t predators in the traditional sense.”
A new set of images appeared on the monitor, showing off a handful of small fish and crustaceans.
“Now, as I’m sure you all have noticed, most fish don’t have hands or paws.” My brain conjured an image of a fish with furry Venlil arms. I stifled a whistle at the silly thought.
“This means that they can’t groom themselves. Dead skin, infected tissue, and nasty parasites can just accumulate on their bodies, and there’s nothing they can do about it. What’s a poor fish to do? Well, that’s where these guys come in. These are cleaner fish and cleaner shrimp. They are carnivores whose diet consists of dead or infected skin and parasites from the bodies of bigger fish, like so.”
He switched the screen to two photos: the left showed a fish (the parrotfish he mentioned just now?) floating by some coral with two cleaner fish picking at it. One was nipping at its scales, the other nestled all up in its gills. On the right, a cleaner shrimp mounted the back of a different fish, presumably using its claws to pluck things off its skin.
“These cleaners congregate in areas called cleaning stations, and animals from all over the reef swim to them to get cleaned. The cleaners remove parasites and dead skin from all the hard-to-reach places, like their gills and even inside their mouths!”
The monitor now showed a video, the contents of which elicited several gasps from the audience. The spotty fish in the video had its mouth open, revealing rows of sharp, mean-looking teeth. Side-facing eyes notwithstanding, this was definitely a predator. And a cleaner fish was swimming into its mouth. On purpose. And the predator just let it. We watched for a tense moment, waiting for those jaws to clamp down, but the cleaner swam out of the mouth with no issue, and the predator fish just… left, revealing a surprisingly long body to the camera as it did.
“That was a moray eel, considered an apex predator of the coral reef. Despite that, it allowed that cleaner wrasse to clean its mouth safely, and the wrasse clearly wasn’t concerned about being eaten. Would anyone care to guess why?”
Silence filled the room as everyone thought, until Sandi raised her paw. “Well, the eel wanted to be cleaned, and it couldn’t be cleaned if it ate the cleaner, so it resisted the temptation.”
As usual, Bernard paused to allow us to digest the answer before replying. “You pretty much got it! Even predators like the moray need cleaning, and eating the cleaners is a good way to get refused service from the rest of their kin. One minor correction, though. The average customer is not tempted to eat the cleaners, even when it’s a predator. There are exceptions, of course, but customers generally aren’t hungry when they show up for cleaning, or else they’d be out hunting instead. Moreover, the cleaner’s size makes for a poor meal; hardly worth the cost of being refused service at the cleaning station in the future.”
A chatter of discussion erupted after Bernard finished his explanation. It made sense, but it was still so… odd, to think about. I listened to the scattered conversations around me.
“How could a predator ever not be hungry? Sure, humans aren’t like that, but they’re sapient! An animal couldn’t possibly control…”
“...such a beautiful relationship. To think these cleaners get their food by helping others…”
“...wonder if there are others like them?”
The chatter hadn’t yet died down when the break bell rang.
“Ah, looks like we’ll have to end our conversation here for now,” Bernard chuckled. “Not to worry, though! Part 2 of this presentation will be after lunch, in which I will talk about humanity’s relationship with reefs and highlight some more of the amazing features of reef creatures. See you in a claw!”
Aw come on, you can’t just tease us like that! I have so many questions!
Coral reefs were so cool! I’d always thought the ocean was a dark, scary place where incomprehensible terrors lurked in the depths. Who knew the seas could be so lively, colorful, and fascinating?
I can’t wait to learn more!

Let me start by saying I've been very excited about this game; as someone who quite enjoyed building structures in the sims (my first foray into Gaming) and other building capabilities within games, the whole premise of this idea is extremely appealing.
So far I've dipped my toe in twice to the demo and very much enjoying exploring the tools. I've watched some of the advice and instructions on Youtube but even so, once in game, I have struggled to find the controls (more so in terms of the camera swivel and zoom in/out functions) as as intuitive as I would like. I did fiddle around with the Y Xis and this seemed to help a bit. I think and hope that more experience will allow me to get more used to these tool elements.

• That said, how on earth are people able to post screenshots of their creations please? I'm completely flummoxed how people are able to do this. I can take screenshots in game but no idea where these have gone?
  
• Movement of doors - I hope that the game will have the ability for you to grab an existing door and move it; I didn't like where a door was placed but couldn't for the life of me move it or adjust the path without creating a secondary door. Hopefully this will become easier to understand and manipulate at the launch.
  
• Freestyle cursor tool - I found it tricky sometimes to cease the element I was working and would love the ability to click like a freestyle cursor tool which allows you to click and edit pre-existing aspects of the building.
  
• How to edit an existing wall? I tried to adjust the wall which the demo has when you first launch the game, but I was not able to - it just started creating a duplicate wall which was not desired. Again hopefully this will become more intuitive at launch.
  
• More floweplant options and outdoor items to add (I'm sure this will come in due course)
  

Can't think of anything else but am excited to try and do more in the game and will await the full launch. I really hope the game will eventually come to Playstation as I am not as fond of PC gaming as I am of console and controller based gaming, which is more intuitive to me. However I will play on Steam currently and hope over time that the game becomes available on more devices.
Thank you so much to the Devs for their hard work in creating a relaxing and chill building game - very much looking forward to seeing more and creating more! <3

The fate has led you here. Sit down by the campfire and rest. We got Starbucks coffee or whatever the cool kids drink these days.
Thank you for stopping by! Are you looking for the best friendship you ever had. "Best friendship?" You might think. "I ain't insane lmaooo".
Someone who will always be your shoulder to cry on whatever it is? Your personal 24/7 hype person who will make you wake up to the craziest memes, cursed images, messages, fun facts, cringe stories, boring facts and conspiracy theories? Someone who will watch movies with you, anime, tv shows, play dumb games, or perhaps start new MMORPG that we will invest into together? Someone who will discuss fashion with you, exchange gym/workout videos and pics, or just discuss deep meanings behind life, books and other media? Someone you could tell all your secrets and deepest desires without fear of being judged? Do not look any further... for I am not that person. I AM KIDDING, yes that's me I am absolutely that person. I am here to invest my full free time into you!
Do I sound like Skyrim NPC to you? Good. Here are my stats:

• Based in Europe
• Interested in other languages and cultures (If yo DM me your country I will tell you everything I know about the politics, language, history, culture and heritage)
• Big fan of rock and metal
• I consume Greek and Roman philosophy books like drug addict steroids
• Owns a pet
• used to model
• big gym rat & combat sports enjoyer
• big nerd/gamer, I play WoW alot and... Metal Gear Solid and much more
• I collect mangas, watch anime and collect katanas
• Student in early 20s
• Saw a guy shave his beard once in 5 years and his dog shit himself on the spot
• banan👍

Now to avoid writing whole-ass Old Testament here, I cannot wait to hear from you and invest all my time into you and getting to know you! Let's face the deepest depths of despair together. Hey, if ya do not like me, you can always run away like Romanian with a TV. If you aren't interested, that is fine as well! I wish you an amazing day stranger and love you lots. Ant-eaters be like "what am I gonna eat today? let me take a wild fuckin guess"
Comment Christiano Penaldo if you came this far
Alright now I gotta dip, my cat is mooing
See ya
Sincerely,
Tarzan of Chernobyl

Hello PleX community,
Please help!
I am currently experiencing issues with transcoding 4K content to FullHD on my Beelink S12 Pro miniPC using Plex. Despite having what seems to be a capable setup, I can barely manage even one stream of 4K to FullHD efficiently, whereas I've read about others handling 3+ multiple streams 4k -> 1080p seamlessly.
In my case, I can watch a 4k movie with transcoding into 1080p only for 2-3 seconds and then I need to wait for another 3-5 seconds to play it again and then again watch for 2-3 etc. etc. (CPU 100% load, RAM 20% load, GPU random numbers from 0 to 100%)
https://preview.redd.it/i3plwy0mm64d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=bff0e30190897e8cca66c0e0e7218e5659e30863
System Specifications:

• QNAP NAS (media storage)
• Device (Plex client): Beelink S12 Pro (N100),
• CPU: Intel N100
• GPU: Integrated Intel Graphics (VGA compatible controller: Intel Corporation Device 46d1)
• RAM: 15GB
• OS: Ubuntu 22.04.4 LTS (Jammy Jellyfish)
• Kernel Version: 6.5.0-35-generic
• Docker Version: 24.0.5
• Plex Container Setup: linuxserveplex, configured for hardware acceleration.

BIOS Settings Checked:

• Internal graphics enabled

Current Issues:

• Unable to efficiently transcode 4K content to FulHD. The GPU seems underutilized with no significant load observed during transcoding processes. I have checked the output fromintel-gpu-top only one parameter changing Rende3D sometimes in goes randomly sometimes to 17, 38, 100% and immediately goes to 0. When I turn off the Plex it is still occasionally can go for some numbers, so still not sure if It is using GPU.

Troubleshooting Done:

• Ensured Plex has permissions to access /dev/dri for hardware acceleration.
• Checked and confirmed that hardware acceleration is enabled in Plex's settings.
• Updated Intel GPU drivers and verified with vainfo, which confirms support for various codecs needed for transcoding.

Additional Configurations:

• Plex is set to use a dedicated transcode directory on tmpfs to improve speed and reduce wear on SSDs.

Here's the /etc/fstab

... # NAS 192.168.1.200:/Multimedia/Downloads /mnt/nas/Downloads nfs defaults,vers=4.1 0 0 192.168.1.200:/Multimedia/Movies /mnt/nas/Movies nfs defaults,vers=4.1 0 0 192.168.1.200:/Multimedia/TVshows /mnt/nas/TVshows nfs defaults,vers=4.1 0 0 # Transcoding: tmpfs /transcode tmpfs rw,nodev,nosuid,noexec,size=4G 0 0 

Portainer docker compose file:

 plex: image: linuxserveplex:latest container_name: plex network_mode: host environment: - PUID=1002 - PGID=1000 - TZ=Europe/Zurich - VERSION=docker - PLEX_CLAIM=KTQW volumes: - /mnt/nas/Movies:/movies - /mnt/nas/TVshows:/tv - /valib/plex/config:/config - /transcode:/transcode - /dev/dri:/dev/dri ports: - "32400:32400" restart: unless-stopped 

Question: I'm reaching out to see if anyone has experienced similar issues or has any suggestions on what might be going wrong or what I could try next to resolve these transcoding inefficiencies. Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated
Thank you in advance for any help!
https://preview.redd.it/p3mta1jrm64d1.png?width=1018&format=png&auto=webp&s=a409bade4679a8e42780e59adecce8411a454a59
https://preview.redd.it/0gxalyp3o64d1.png?width=1313&format=png&auto=webp&s=2457d5634e63ae3fa8f31330d0e960c9b6032917
Please help!

I originally wrote this for Letterboxd and thought I would post it here, I hope that's okay; I never see this film being reviewed anywhere.
This was quite a surprise, to be honest. I wasn't sure how much I was going to enjoy the film, but I was immediately sucked in. The real genius here is the "documentary" parts spliced in between the faux horror film "Pumpkin" created by no-budget filmmakers and doomed lovers Warren Werner and Samantha Dixon who commit suicide (this is explained in the opening monologue so it's not a spoiler and you need to know it going in) when the entire town crucifies them for their graphic homemade serial killer gorefest. I (appropriately) wanted to shake the hell out of the interviewees who seem to blame the double suicide on Warren and his "dark personality" which seems to consist of a perhaps overly exuberant young love affair and an obsession with horror filmmaking; hardly anything to get in a snit about and certainly a far cry from the devil worshippers the town brands Warren and Samantha.
The other part of the film consists of the remaining footage of Warren and Samantha's film "Pumpkin" and I have to admit I thought this part was going to be awful but I loved it! Was it ridiculous? Yes. Was it cheesy? Sure. No budget? Terrible acting? Bad special FX? All present and accounted for. Technically terrible? Oh yeah. Maybe it's just me but I often end up enjoying the kind of SOV gore-and-tit-fests "Pumpkin" would've turned out to be and this one I would've likely watched more than once. It's in such incredibly poor taste that it becomes kind of delightful really, a harkening back to the era of analog without overdoing it. It concerns a serial killer named Taboris DeWitt who is hitchhiking across the country, or well, at least Alabama. But first we sit through a pretty pointless scene involving two bimbos having a pillow fight in their underwear in a seedy motel to the absolute most ear-splitting song I have ever, ever heard... and don't get comfy 'cause it plays many times throughout the film. First one girl gets a room with a "sexy guy" (god help me) named Johnny Knickerbocker, a loser hung up on his ex-girlfriend and traveling aimlessly across the country even though last Halloween he had his arm hacked off by a psycho clown and an old man traveling in a van (this part is important, for what it's worth, lol). The actor is clearly not an amputee by the way, his arm is just under his shirt. He also looks like a junkie about halfway into their nod but far be it from me to cast aspersions. They've only just seated themselves in their new temporary digs when Bimbo #1 (don't expect me to keep track of everybody's names) proceeds to immediately call up her gal pal, Bimbo #2, telling her she's got a hot guy in her motel room (yeah, no, sorry). She shows up, they have their pillow fight, they try to rouse Johnny from his opiate-esque stupor, and he then throws both bimbos out saying he's not ready to be with a woman because of his ex. He's clearly an idiot because these girls were actually pretty cute, especially for a movie like this! It's kind of a weird trend, all the girls bar one (who we'll get to later) are cute. Well I can't tell if the strippers are cute because you only really see their asses, but the asses were decent I guess. I mean, it ain't no high-class club is what I'm sayin'.
Okay, now we switch to storyline #2. Yes, these filmmakers were quite ambitious with their project, adding a whole other storyline, which means we're back with Taboris the serial killer from the beginning. They actually do a pretty decent job of switching between storylines considering. So we're back with Taboris now, who in what can only be dubbed a Tarantino-esque move has the serial killer walk right past Johnny Knickerbocker and get a room at the same motel! He's playing drunk but isn't and is in the process of dragging a very inebriated, rather portly woman (I'm sorry if you're reading this, actress) with the most irritating accent I have ever heard into a motel room. She seems amenable but simply unable - that is, to stand on her own. By some sweet miracle we do not have to watch the first sex scene between these two. He wants a ride in her Cadillac - but whoops, when she said her Cadillac she meant her pussy. Um, yeah. It's not a Cadillac. I admit to knowing this with shame. If you somehow wanted to see these two vastly unattractive people have sex, great! Because that's what happens after the Cadillac convo. And it's doggy-style. Oh yes, this glorious actress and all her rolls hanging down kind of makes her look like a pregnant... you know I'm not gonna say that. In any case, you get a good view of them doin' the nasty with great enthusiasm. He then strangles her and mutilates her body in the bathtub, talking to no one, and then washes all the blood off in the sink and kind of seems to have some sort of orgasmic experience while toweling off. It was weird.
Our two storylines (those being the serial killer plot and the Johnny Knickerbocker plot) are about to merge. Again, being quite ambitious. But you know, the editing's not bad for a camcorder production. I've certainly seen much worse. Anyway, right, so our two malcontent stars finally meet as Johnny picks up Taboris hitchhiking. Now I KNOW your mother told you not to pick up hitchhikers Johnny. Bad boy. Taboris tells him he just needs a lift for a few miles up the road. But oh no! Johnny doesn't realize he's picked up a crafty killer with a fake southern accent masking what I presume is this actor's "I am playing a serial killer" voice; a little bit Lecter-esque but mostly just pretentious. He chokes out Johnny and here I was almost certain they were gonna try and pull a Hitchcock and kill off their star (or at least one of them) early. But no, he merely chokes Johnny into unconsciousness and then ties him up, yes, at that same goddamned motel where you'd think the employees would be suspicious of this guy carrying a giant teddy bear (way to keep your cover doofus) and looking like - and answering to the name of - Taboris DeWitt, the serial killer on all the TV stations that two lamebrain detectives are trying to catch in yet ANOTHER storyline. One guy's words are barely intelligible through a thick accent and hardly any teeth. He tends to kind of force lines out in chunks but he does... okay? I mean you obviously have to keep your expectations in check here. The other guy is chubby and apparently hiding the fact that he's having gay hookups, possibly on the job? This movie has a lot of gayness, but not the good kind. More like the kind that would've been in a splatter movie from Alabama in the early 90's. Again, expectations.
Now that he's cast off the chunky paramour and left her body for motel employees to find, Taboris is moving on to Johnny. He's got him tied to a chair, listens to his story about having his arm hacked off by a psycho clown and an old man on the move in a van (but of course) and then subjects him to what feels like a very, very long and obscene dance in his underwear... to the same fucking song from the double-bimbo room earlier. This movie was starting to give off Greasy Strangler vibes, no shit. Speaking of which, that's the next thing Taboris does... with sound effects. I'm making this movie sound like torture but by god I enjoyed myself. So let's go on. Taboris is now in the mood for action (send help) and we thankfully do not witness this nor does Taboris get to fulfill his desires because... reasons. What, you gonna come for me now because I don't remember the details of the movie I literally just finished? Well, you do you I guess.
Alright, next I remember Taboris meets up with his beloved daughter Dana, who is a stripper in that sleazy-ass club I told you about earlier, but before we see her we see some pole dancing by some, uh, lovely ladies... TO THAT SAME SONG. The one difference with Dana is we can see her face and I don't think she actually gets naked in the film. She is, again, a pretty cute girl (I presume I no longer need to amend these sentences with "...for a film like this.") No really, she is cute and she does pretty much fine in her role, better than a lot of the others, not perfect but fine for... oh, I almost did it again. For some reason, Dana decides the right course of action is to tell her dad to get the hell out, allow him to leave the premises as a wanted murderer (and she knows this) and not inform the police of this amazing new lead. Oh yeah, Dana also knows where Daddy Dearest is heading. Where is he heading you ask? Why, to a horse farm on a rural road where an old man and a strangely-acting clown live. Alarm bells ringing for you? They should be; Johnny mentioned two such characters in his story about losing his arm. For some unknown reason under the sun, Taboris claims he has come seeking revenge for Johnny Knickerbocker, you know, the guy he choked, tied up, molested and almost killed? Right. Taboris gets the clown to come out to look at his car, which is beyond me because the clown is supposed to be intellectually challenged but of course that's not the term they use (which shall remain unnamed for those who can't read the goddamned room). Taboris sneaks up behind him and beats the clown to a bloody pulp with a baseball bat yet doesn't manage to kill him. I think he wanted to um, have relations with the clown. Ugh, some of this is kind of weird recounting. But if you fuckers can sit through Kuso you can sit through this!
Taboris goes back to the house under the presumption of talking about horse-racing with the old man. Uh-oh, twist incoming though! The old man and clown are no strangers. Taboris had found out previously that his real father wasn't who he thought it was, oh no. His real father was some schmuck his mother fooled around with a few times and who was married and unaware of the child's existence. Don't feel bad for him though because as soon as Taboris leaves him unattended, old Pops is getting out of his restraints and grabbing for a kitchen knife. Who will win this most epic battle of wits? Just who will survive and what will be left of them? Will I in turn ever regain my sanity? The answer to the last one is probably no, but there's hope for you (not really, there's no hope for you) if you like the sound of any of this. Oh, you thought this was the end of this gargantuan dictionary of a review? Sorry, not done with you yet. One last important piece of the puzzle has not been placed. That piece of the puzzle is the story of Warren and Samantha, dogged by rumors of devil worship throughout the town after a packed opening turns into a disaster. There are some short bits of what purports to be a local TV program who interviewed Warren on the show and you can see the light slowly going out of his eyes as he's grilled by the somewhat horrified host who clearly doesn't understand horror films or filmmaking or art. It's actually a really good acting job and very subtle and kind of brutal to watch. One can't help but think though that if the entire town hadn't made these two kids out to be some cockamamie cult and demeaned their artistic expression (such as it is), there probably would never have been a tragedy at all. Ignorance kills, and we know it. I think that is part of the story the film is trying to tell.
There's no sugarcoating that "Pumpkin" isn't great, but the documentary portion is also very sympathetic to Warren and Samantha. If a couple of kids in the middle of nowhere with a camcorder, some friends and some Karo syrup can't make an amateur movie without their lives being ruined then what the hell does that say about us as a nation? And no, you're right, it's a fictional story, but it's still a message worth sending, even though it will likely only be preaching to the choir. This type of film was never for normals anyway. What does it matter what their opinions are? They're never gonna get it. Don't chase after these type of "audiences" because they will never get or enjoy anything you make. And if Warren and Samantha had the gift of years to understand that, they would still be alive in their fictional universe and maybe even still making movies. Who knows? All that potential went to waste. And honestly I felt pretty sad after the ending, which I never expected to feel.