These past few weeks have been emotional torment for me that's hard to even put into words. I just can't keep up with it any longer.
I'd like to think I was close to finally doing it two or three times already in the past two years, but right now I'm on the very edge. Closer than ever before. Doing hour long, active research on a plethora of different methods, only to come to the conclusion that there's no easily available, fool proof method that doesn't bear the potential risk of leaving you even worse off than before. Leaving me in even more desperation. Right now it's really effing tempting to just run straight into the nearest train or jumping off somewhere. Or if all else fails just grabbing a belt and trying my luck. Just taking that risk of ending up crippled or braindead. It's that unbearable.
I'm so insanely drained and tired, all the while this constant inferno of intense emotions blazes right beneath my skin. A viscous cocktail of anger, wrath, sorrow, loneliness, hopelessness and so much more, some of which I can't even describe myself at times.
I'm 29 and would consider myself a very attractive and charismatic young man with, even more importantly, a genuinely good heart and character. You'd think I should have no problems attracting potential partners and being in the prime of my life. But here I am, ever only having truly loved a single girl that I just can't get over. It's been 1.5 years and I'm still nowhere near capable of letting her go. Her very being I fell so endlessly in love with, forever etched into my soul. You could line up 100 of the worlds "most beautiful" women right in front of me and I'll escape into my thoughts and think about her instead. About how I loved everything about her with every fiber of my being. How she was the only thing apart from my early childhood, that's ever made me feel joy. The only person that ever made me feel loved. As if losing her wasn't enough, seeing her move on as if nothing ever happened between us, is what truly gives me the rest. All the things that were said between us. Words that are supposed to carry a lot of weight but ended up being nothing but thin air.
I guess most of you cherish every second of sleep you can get, and I'm no different. But I'm at a point where I even have recurring nightmares about her and how she moved on.
Waking up is already a burden. Coming to that realization, a few seconds after opening your eyes, that the suffering now keeps on going. And now I'm even tormented in my dreams...
Back then we were pretty sure she's got BPD. Now I'm wondering if perhaps I was the one afflicted with it all along. Or perhaps we both have it, and we're just on different sides of the spectrum. Whatever, doesn't matter now anyways...
I don't even know why I'm posting this. I do think it helped damping that emotional inferno at least a tiny bit, but I know it isn't going to last. It never does.
Thanks if you took the time and read through it.

First of all, I'm very sorry for deleting the previous post I simply was made aware I posted it based on my speculation. Now to the topic.
Like I said, the question is, do Transylians look like they do to vladats? In my opinion, it is possible, given the evidence:
First of all, let's consider that all Transylians look like zombies (scar skin, etc.), and the evidence allows us to assume that they really are.
1: They are resistant to cold, lack of oxygen, heat, or high voltage, they are also stronger and more resistant than humans. All these powers indicate that they do not have to be living creatures, as corpses are much more resistant to most of these factors. Add to it Transylians are not people, it can be assumed that their physical attributes are slightly different from ours, so their corpses may also behave differently than humans (rot slower, be more resistant, etc.)
2) Among the transylians seen in the Galactic monster arc, at least I didn't detect any newborns, only one small girl. If Transylians are zombies, then Zombies lose 100% of their reproductive abilities, therefore they cannot have children
3) Dr. Victor is a genius, and his knowledge is many times higher than that of humans. As we know, people only have as much knowledge in their lives as they can accumulate during their lifetime minus the period when they are too young to learn. Transylians, on the other hand, are a race with intelligence close to primitive humans (fear of fire, etc.) Ergo, to achieve his level of knowledge, Dr. Victor had to live long enough... put it simply to be long-lived like a zombie.
The question is how they became these zombies.
Now let's note that Transylians generate electricity through a symbiotic relationship with nanomachines and Tesla coils on their backs. Such a symbiosis is probably impossible to achieve naturally, so someone had to initiate it, but who and why? And this is where vladats comes in.
Note that this race feeds on energy and is known to be a predator of the Transylians, as Dr. Victor talked about it this way:
Lord Transyl and other Vladats used my people as slaves. We were nothing more than beasts of burden, and ultimately we were food!
Also, as the Ben 10 wiki notes:
Vladats are arrogant, cruel, and both literally and figuratively bloodthirsty. They consider other creatures to be inferior. To them, other creatures are only useful as slaves and/or food. They have an overwhelming urge to feed on the energy of their preys.
This means that here we have a cruel, energy-hungry race that sees others as food or slaves.
There is a well-known case in the history of mankind when people similarly treated people, and this cruelty always included various inhuman experiments. Now let's think what could such people do if they had better technology?
Exactly, most likely something indescribably cruel, so could Vladats have done the same? Well, their behavior and what Dr. said. victor points it out as possibility.
So how could it be?
In my opinion, the Transylians were not Vladat's first victims, but one of the next. The Vladat conquered other races and used them as a source of energy until they ran out of energy and then they switch to another. (In this way, Ormeowon could be born i.e. a race of zombies, because as we know from the Ben 10 Wiki, Vladat victims look like Michael Morningstar's victims, ergo zombies) However, this system was ineffective for them, because firstly, it forced frequent changes of feeding grounds, and secondly, it could cause an interplanetary rebellion. Therefore, to avoid such a scenario, they chose a stupid race that hardly anyone cared about... the Transylians and enslaved them. However, instead of eating immediately, they performed a cruel experiment on them... they connected them to nanotechnology, which turned their bodies into living batteries but also detached them from life. The Transylians became nothing more than an easy snack that, even if sucked dry, did not die, it was simply recharged. And everything was fine, but only until it turned out that now they couldn't die because the machinery kept them alive, and this terrified the other races of the anur system. Then probably the ectonurite race used this fear to overthrow the Transylians (ectonurites are not alive in the human sense, maybe they don't even generate energy like other races, ergo they wouldn't have to be afraid of the vladat turning them into batteries,and besides hates vladat guts, so could use it as opportunity), and became the new high ectonurites of the anur system. Meanwhile, the Transylians fell under the rule of new tyrants who had no intention of leaving them in eternal peace. They simply became zombie cyborgs, who life thanks to electricity current through their bodies, slowly rotting without chance of dying.
To summarize the current appearance of the Transylians, it may be the result of Vladat's attempt to obtain eternal food, but ended up in terrible mistake that created race of undead cyborgs.
And that's all from me,so what do you think?

This is just idle speculation, but I thought it might be fun to see if we can guess which "what if" episodes to expect.
We know from the into Door delivers that Night Springs DLC is likely to consist of several episodes in a what if style, attempts of Alan's to escape that didn't quite meet the criteria of "true fiction" and thus fell apart.
In bopping along to the Night Springs song off the soundtrack, I keep thinking it's describing several of these episodes. Who do we think will feature in them? If it's truly multiple playable characters that is (and not just Tim Breaker all the way through)
Lyrics here:
Space invader, looking cute in a human suit Secret agents with the down-down rays they shoot Psychic powers, hypno eyes and magic fruit Trees, machines, weird mysteries We got freaky fantasies In Night Springs, psycho killer on the run In Night Springs, I don the black hole sun 'Cause in Night Springs, we're just looking for the thrill All your nightmares come true Crashing through the warning signs, your car breaks down just outside In Night Springs Endless versions of this town, Buck hold off the Elder God Live inside a sleepless dream, better let her sleep in Night Springs If I died in your arms, I don't mind it I'd hunt you when you like it In Night Springs, caught in an endless time loop In Night Springs, a solar system in your soup 'Cause in Night Springs, we're just looking for the thrill All your nightmares come true Lost in mist for days and days, now you see the sunny seas Night Springs
1) Breaker even mentioned aliens I believe in one interaction with him. This feels like the most obvious one: an X-Files-lile episode, possibly featuring our favorite Director interacting with Breaker during some sort of alien event.
2) psycho killer seems easy enough! Perhaps Rose matching wits against a boss level Taken like Nightingale?
3) "Buck hold off the Elder God" sounds an awful lot like the Cult of the Tree might get some air time. Maybe in the same sense as they are in the main story: they're a cult dedicated to protecting the town, but in this case we get more cosmic horror style storytelling.
4) for some reason "solar system in your soup" makes me think of that Twilight Zone where the kid had omnipotent powers, sort of a St Elsewhere snow globe kind of situation. I don't know how you turn that into an episode of playable content though.
(Likewise the "crash through the warning signs, car breaks down just outside" is a classic Twilight Zone sequence)
5) Psychic powers, hypno eyes and magic fruit sounds groovy as heck but psychic powers obviously makes me think of Control, or perhaps even Hartman (with his MO or brainwashing artists to control them), or Zane from Nightless Night where he hit on themes of mind control and Manson-like levels of cult of personality and devotion.
6) related, possibly, black hole sun sounds like an eclipse, which is sort of the thematic opposite of Nightless Night, so might have another Zane tie in there.
I know we don't have any actual evidence but it is fun (for me) to speculate:D anyone have any alternate reads on the lyrics, or anything Breaker mentioned that I forgot?

So my ex and I were together for 2 years and everything was great. From the beginning we were almost everyday together and last year we even sort of lived together in his student room. He is a lovely boy who is always positive, brings a light into the room and made me feel the luckiest girl in the world. I had some bad relationships in the past and he was finally the one who loved me and cared for me in a way I would never imagine.
We both were students when we met and lived the typical student life: partying, drinking, going on vacation, etc. I graduated last June and had a job by the end of September. In the summer vacation we both went on a road trip together for 2 weeks and it was amazing. From the moment I started working, the relationship was not so exciting anymore: I came home, cooked dinner, ate together, we watch tv together or he is gaming with the boys and I’m doing my thing and then we went to sleep. My routine after work was boring if I look back at it, but it was new for me too. In the meantime we did some fun things, but not so often like we used to. I was into the adult life and even considered by moving in together and that kinda stuff.
Everything was fine and even the living together stuff was all fine by him too. We never argued (maybe 2-3 times in 2 years) and he always said “yes” or “fine by me” on everything, even if I asked his opinion 10x. So I thought we were still good. Until a couple weeks ago I came home from work and I noticed there was something wrong. I asked him a couple times and finally he said, out of the blue, that he had doubts about our relationship. I freaked out and cried so we couldn’t talk properly. He went home to his parents and the next day he came back to talk. He said he still wanted to be with me but some things had to change, for example my temper (I have a high temper and can get mad for the smallest and dumbest reasons and lately it did occur often that I got mad really fast). I said that I will work on it because it was true, it gotten worse and it wasn’t pleasant for the both of us, but he had to work on his communication as well. His doubts came for me out of nowhere because he never communicated with me about things that bothered him.
Our relationship went forward and I worked on myself and so did he. I thought it went good until 2 weeks laters the same conversation came up. He said he still have doubts about the relationship. I asked him why and what he wanted to do about it to fix it but everytime I got the answer “I don’t know”. So I suggested that we move on like we did but saw eachother less (like leave 2-3 days in between). So, then we did that because he agreed with the options I gave him to try and work things out.
Again everything went well. Couple weeks ago he was in his student room and I was at home by my parents. I noticed he wasn’t online on any social media and haven’t send me a message in 2 hours or so. Because of my past I panicked and spammed him with messages and phone calls asking what he is doing and where he is. I did this a couple of times and he got mad for my behaviour. After that, I came back to reality and realised that my behaviour is not healthy and apologised. He eventually calmed down too and said it’s okay and I love you. Later that week, we met up and he said “I think we shouldn’t see eachother for a time” and I broke down. The next day he deleted all my pictures on Instagram and removed me from the family groupchat so I was confused because this seems like a breakup instead of a break/pause. He came over and would only say “I made the decision so I stand by it”. So it was done.
Couple days later I went to his student room, where we ‘lived together’ to get my stuff. I made him a long letter which I read for him to say thankyou. After that he comforted me and we cuddled really long. We constantly kept eye contact and he admitted that he still loves me, felt butterflies in his stomach, felt happy, etc. I felt that he really had a hard time of keeping his hands of me and letting me go. At the end, we gave eachother a big goodbye kiss and it was magical. Despite all that, he still says he couldn’t be with me. He also said “maybe in the future” and “not right know” and that kinda stuff. I suggested that we go no contact for 2-3 weeks and then meet up again to see if his feelings have changed.
It’s been 2 weeks and he asked to meet up this tuesday. I want to feel hopeful, but in the meantime he deleted me on Snapchat last tuesday and unfollowed me on Instagram the same evening he asked me to meet up, which was last friday.
I have the feeling he is running away from his true feelings and is scared to get back because he thinks things will get better for 2 weeks and then the same conversation will end up. I am convinced we needed this because now I can truly see what behaviour from me is wrong and I need to get help to fix that for me. I already took the step to go to a psychologist. But he is stubborn and is convinced that it won’t work anymore.
I don’t know what else to do or say to him to get him back. I really love him and he is the man I see a future with. He does get the best out of me and supports me in things to make myself happy. I really think that if we gave this another chance it can work and we can get better out of this if we both work on our communication. How can I convince him that it can work between us and he doesn’t have to run away from his feelings? What do I do or say to him this tuesday? Is there a chance for us? I want my sweet boy back…

First off, feel free to comment about your own experiences. I would love it if anybody can relate. I'm also open to questions, advice, whatever you wanna write. This is gonna be a bit longer, just fyi. Excuse lack of proper chronological order and maybe some wonky sentences, English isn't my first language.
I was parentified.
For context, my mother has three children, I'm the youngest one, then there's my older half-brother (30) and my older half-sister (36). Their father was a violent alcoholic with schizophrenic tendencies (official diagnosis), luckily I never met him. I refer to them as brother and sister. I'm 21 now. I'm the only child of my mom and my dad, my dad has three other kids who are in the same age group as my maternal siblings. Lots of history with divorces and family fights, I'm the center of a complete patchwork family, everybody moved towns a lot, it's all a bit messy and disorganized.
My mother has severe borderline disorder and has massive trauma from several age stages, especially involving men. She was heavily parentified and yet socially cast out by her family herself. I don't remember a time where I didn't act like her father, emotionally. This is made worse by the fact that I'm trans so I was like her bestie before I began socially transitioning in my early teen years. Of course, this was a massive issue for her. She told me she had only ever wanted daughters. Materially she was taking care of things until I was about 11 - walked me to school and took care of the household, used to work, everything.
I remember sitting next to her during a talk/fight she had with my dad while she was sobbing, I can't have been older than 3 or 4. They got divorced around that time. As I grew older, I came to be my mom's sole emotional support person. We had moved to an isolated village with my step-father and she developed a severe agoraphobia for some time. My step-father avoided all emotionality with both her and me and therefore I was now her only friend. I overheard conversations that she shouldn't be having with her child next door and was told about her most severe fears and traumas from a young age. I was lashed out at on a near daily basis and punishment came unexpectedly. It would consist of being screamed at for minutes on end until I would cry and hyperventilate, but she wouldn't stop then.
In spite of her idea of punishment and raising children, she was incredibly attached to me, still is. This would include massive anxiety fits when she didn't know where I was or when I was getting into activities she didn't approve of. One time, when I was about 17, I went to a party in my friend's basement. She knew about this and approved it, knew my friends and where they lived. I didn't have any signal in that basenent so she couldn't reach me. She proceeded to look up my other friends' parents' phone number and call them to contact me. There was nothing she wanted except to know that I had arrived there.
Whereas my other siblings had long left the household years apart from eachother, both with specific and complex fights and banging doors and screaming fits, I was, as the youngest child, turned into a confessional and a therapist. I would mediate fights from a young age. I witnessed physical violence between my brother, my mother and my sister. My brother was the perpetrator for the most part (however, I was neither hurt nor threatened myself). Nobody proceeded to remove me from the situation or stop me from getting involved. From then on, every fight and every drama caused me intense bouts of anxiety and it, to this day, remains to be the only thing that makes me cry and/or lash out.
In a household full of anger, my anger was not tolerated. I was raised with some old-timey sort of black paedagogy (I'm German so it is something of a generational curse for some): I was to have unwavering respect for my parents, I was expected to be obedient, "let him cry it out" type stuff. At least when I was a younger child. When I got older, my emotions did not matter either. After stressful situations or fights that I proceeded to witness for most of my life, nobody ever asked me how I felt or explained to me what had actually gone down. I was left alone while not being left alone at all.
If I failed to provide emotional security for my mother or even attempted to call her out, I was made to feel immensely guilty. This could range from her crying/yelling things like "Why is it always me that must suffer" to guilt-tripping texts and blocking my contact for a while to very action-based suicide threats, depending on the situation. Her emotions were forced to be my emotions if I wanted to "stay alive".
At the same time, I still proceeded to excel in school. I felt like dying but nobody, and I tell you, nobody, noticed. I was a teacher's pet, I still had some loose friendships, I visited my dad once a month or more ever since my parents divorced. Nobody realized what I felt. I felt alone and had the worst depressive episode of my life when I was 13. I neglected personal hygiene. I never opened up to my father for many years. To this day I think he doesn't know everything. Especially during covid, him and my ex-stepmother were my safe space. When I first opened up to them, they welcomed me with open arms, my father was very strict and cold when I was young, but he softened, changed, and is everything and more I could ask for in a father. He is among the most positive examples of masculinity and especially of fatherhood that I know in my circles. He sends me postcards several times a month, wants me to visit, hugs me and tells me he loves me and that he's proud, gives me space. The dad who remembers the names of our childhood stuffed animals. Literally. I love him to death. He was also the only parent who engaged in activities with me and would play with me, later on take me to the movies, go to bars and restaurants, go to museums with me etc.
My mother got worse both psychologically and physically, she is chronically ill and needs immense support in a lot of things now. For about a year, my stepfather worked in a town far away and only came home during the weekends. This was during covid. Within a year, I developed a hatred so deep for my mother that I had thoughts that scared me. I took care of our pets and the household, was not allowed to get into any activities after school other than coming home and spent hours after my day listening to her rants, anxieties, fears. I get hateful goosebumps when I remember the way she used to call my name when she wanted me to do something for her. Sometimes she would make me stay awake for longer, knowing that I had to get up at 6am again. It was usually already around 12 at night. She wanted me to walk the dog before SHE went to bed because otherwise it would ruin her otherwise horribly insomniac circadian rhythm. Therefore I was not allowed to go to sleep. At that point she had not worked for more than 6 years and stayed home all the time. My stepfather and I did grocery shopping. She rarely ever leaves the house if she can avoid it. This was during the German version of my GCSE's.
I was denied medical care that could have potentially fixed my posture issues and other orthopedic issues. My mother deemed physiotherapy as inefficient and got mad when I asked her about it again. Money was always an issue. We were evicted once. I was denied certain things and never asked for extra cash because we ran low on money, my stepfather was blamed for smoking and consuming a lot of meat (which indeed is pricy), but my mother never reflected on her online shopping addiction and I'm aware that she is in an ongoing debt. Has been for years now.
Things got a bit better when my stepfather moved back and Covid cleared up somewhat. Regardless, I used pure spite to continue studying hard while they were yelling at eachother from the top of their lungs for hours on end and did the best I could to get the hell out of there. I've had therapy with several years' of breaks for a total of nearly 3 years now, that I partially applied for myself and I'm working on tackling everything. I live in a different city, studying subjects that I love. I get all my shit done, for the most part, I know how to do paperwork and know how all of the chores work. I can regulate myself in terms of sleep and food and cheap thrills. I have a (milder) case of anxiety. I keep meaningful friendships in which I find myself capable of avoiding all the harmful behaviors and attitudes I was taught. I'm learning to stand my ground and take responsibility for my own decisions and actions.
When I establish my boundaries with her now, she turns into some sort of anxious-attached mess. She over-apologizes to me. She puts me on a pedestal and I'm living a life that she is jealous of. She is intensely attached to me and considers me her favorite child and also hasn't properly gotten over my father, over 15 years of them being divorced. She will do anything to support me materially and then tear me down emotionally. Everything I tell her is followed by her mourning the life she doesn't have and never had instead of properly celebrating with me. She gets noticeably sad when I refuse to give her my full attention, she yearns for what she considered a deep and important relationship to me. But it was all just emotional neglect and emotional abuse. Now I sometimes can't help but meet her with the same attitude she gave me.
This is not perfectly chronological and all over the place. I have complicated relationships with my siblings and other relatives, which I don't mourn, but feel guilty about. My father and I are very good with eachother although I need to confront him about some things as well. With my mother I do the bare minimum to avoid conflict, yet without throwing my sense of self out of the window again. She is the only human who can easily cause anxiety attacks in me, no matter where or when. I sometimes wish I was not in contact with her. I have a tendency for smoking too much weed and being just a bit too careless with other drugs (although I rarely do those in comparison), but I also try and regulate this heavily (e.g. not finding a dealer but asking friends every once in a while etcetc). I think this stems from these experiences. Apart from that, I think I'm coping very well.
To everybody: it does get better. It does. Even when your emotions are a rollercoaster sometimes. You will be in a different place, maybe you already are, and you'll escape from these structures. I think the hardest pill for me to swallow is that I create my own reality and that nobody will give me my stolen childhood back. I am an (albeit young) adult now and I must do everything I can to avoid becoming like her. Her life is not a life I want to lead. There's hope and you won't always be in this place.

I (23-F) really like this guy (24-M) and he's been nothing but nice to me, but it's early days and we aren't official. (We have been flirting for months and confessed a week ago.) He says I look and act like his dream girl, and he looks at me with such adoration in his eyes, so I'm really thrown off by this.
He has a thing for gorgeous alternative Insta girlies, and my style at least already matches that because I've always liked it and I feel confident. The confusion comes in with a picture from a photoshoot I did during a modeling phase I had, and I sent him a fairly well taken - not my favorite, and fairly PG - professional photo to take his mind off the fact that he doesn't have to rely on a multitude of pretty girls on his feed anymore.
We had just had an amazing weekend together, but then, after myself already expressing that I was fairly unsure of the photo (however, also knowing that it's very typical "male gaze" orientated and similar to the photos he saved often before we confessed to each other) - he calls it unflattering and moves on to our normal, wholesome conversations.
It felt a bit like a punch in the gut, as nobody has ever made such a blunt comment about it, or even expressed their dislike. (It was for an ex-friend's photography portfolio, and Patreon, which he probably still makes money from. It's by far my most vulnerable professional photograph that I own too, with a lot of emotional attachment.)
He called me after I expressed that I was hurt, but that I know everyone has differing opinions. He was kind and sweet, but told me he's always blunt and didn't want to talk about the photo at all. I was crushed, and I don't know what to do. I wanted to talk to him about it, but he said "we" mustn't overthink it.
Currently I can't sleep and I'm now comparing myself to the girls he sent me photos of (I asked just so that I could see if I can match the styles, which was positive for me, but now feels sickening because I know what they were once for.)
I can't message him at the risk of being needy, and I can't wrap my head around how someone who has their "dream girl" would be so blunt and hurtful so early on and in such contrast to their usual, adorable personality.
My last relationship was incredibly toxic, and differentiating what is healthy and not is extremely difficult, so I'm very easily a target to be broken down for someone else's security if I don't stay on my toes and keep the confidence I've worked so hard on gaining.
I have so many questions. Any help would be appreciated as I don't know how to handle this or if it is a normal, healthy reaction from either parties. I really want to be with him, and think he's just wonderful, but I can't do it if I'm going to get hurt again. Please let me know how I should healthily handle this and proceed?

Someone posted this on Reddit as a response to a person who was struggling. I liked it a lot and I tried to google it but I wasn’t able to find anything, google just spammed me with mental health resources bc of the quotes context.
“So, you’re experiencing a crisis. I understand. I’ve been there, many times. And I want you to understand no matter how dire the situation may seem, no matter how slim the odds, there is hope. There is a way through this. But, I also won’t lie to you. If you genuinely want out, you’re going to have to fight your way out. The hard truth is that in all likelihood, no one is coming to save you. So, if you won’t work the problem, no one will. It’s important therefore that you approach this crisis with the proper mindset. A mindset of acceptance. You’re here. The problem is real. It’s happening to you, right now and it’s not going away. You don’t have to like it or pretend that it doesn’t upset you, but you must accept it. Because when you accept your circumstances and assume ownership over the state you’re in, something crucial happens. Your perspective begins to shift. Instead of viewing the situation through the lens of the luckless victim, you approach the problem with the mind of an appraiser. You begin to see the situation for what it is. The variables begin to emerge and with them, a more complete understanding of the problem comes into view. Through acceptance consequences, constraints and root causes all become clear. Armed with this knowledge, you’re ready to make the next mental shift to move from the mind of an appraiser to one who is focused on solutions. And with this mind you’re ready to work. A solution oriented mindset focuses on identifying pathways rather than dwelling on obstacles. It enables you to approach life’s challenges with a proactive attitude. Instead of becoming overwhelmed or stuck, you actively seek out answers, think creatively and explore options. By focusing on solutions, you avoid getting caught up in negativity or unproductive thought patterns. Above all, adopting a solution-oriented mind helps you stay focused on what is most important during any crisis. And that is taking action. Without action, there is no movement and without movement problems remain what they are. If you’ve calibrated your mind to seek out solutions, you must pair this mindset with a bias toward action. When the pressure is on and the crisis is real, staying put is never a winning strategy. You need to move and move with a purpose. If you’re feeling fear, anxiety or despair as a result of your present circumstances, you cannot allow these feelings to paralyze you. Instead, use your emotions to fuel your efforts to meaningfully execute upon the solutions you’ve already identified. When things get hard, you shouldn’t go at it alone. Sometimes, the problems we face are genuinely bigger than ourselves. To make progress toward addressing such problems, it’s ideal to seek out help from family, friends and colleagues who can compliment your strengths and supplement the areas where you’re struggling. Remember that many hands can make light work of weighty problems. Don’t neglect the resources available to you out of a mistaken notion that only you can carry your present burden. While others likely aren’t coming to save you, they may be willing to assist you if you’re humble enough to ask for help when it’s needed. Just remember to show the proper gratitude when aid is rendered and always pay it forward. I know the challenges before you are difficult and the long climb to a better outcome will be tough. But this isn’t the end for you. Not yet. You still have some fight left in you. Your strength isn’t spent. If you’ve accepted where you are and have identified where you need to be, the only thing left for you is to put boot to ground and take one determined step after the other. In time, and with the help of those around you who care, you’ll walk your way out of this mess. And perhaps someday, teach others to do likewise. Hang tough and know that whatever happens I’m rooting for you.”

If there's an attorney in here please feel free to correct me about objecting without saying what the attorney is objecting to.
I don't know if this was posted, but this is Lallys 1st criminal trial. I read he did small stuff, no criminal. I personally feel like the good lawyers weren't tagging their reputations to this shitshow. Morrissey is all in because he's involved in the cover-up. It's also my opinion that Bev is tight with big Mike and is trying to get this through without getting mud on Morrissey and limit the exposure of Canton and MSP. If Friday showed us anything, it's that Yanetti and Jackson aren't bringing evidence without Bev censoring it.
But, back to Lally.. so you have this idiot prosecuting a case so far out of his league it makes you wonder why it's not worse than it is. Remember the coughs and sighs ? Bev was even calling sustained before Lally called for an objection. My question for someone with more knowledge of the courts. From what I understand, it's almost never heard of for someone to ask for an objection with stating why. This is where a useful idiot like Lally comes in. The 1st week he was just playing off Bev. Then everyone started pointing out Bevs behavior. So all of that stops.. everything except the insane amount of objections and Bevs side bars. So how does Lally know? I think he has a device (buzzer) that a person who doesn't want to be on the stage. This way he can call an objection without having to know why. Bev then acts like he's a genius when he's wrong and says "I'll let this one go".
Sorry for the tinfoil hat.. lol this case just doesn't make sense to me. Just like Proctor., why did Bev have to be involved lally had no choice. He's like the guy prosecuting Turtleboy

So, did you manage to count all the re-cycled elements from Steven Moffat's first Doctor Who 2-parter The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances all the way back in May 2005 in Saturdays episode Blow - I mean, Boom...?
Did we have the Gas-Mask kid - no. We did not. But the main villain of the piece is indeed a combat ambulance, we have a kid - this time a little girl - searching (this time) for her Daddy who's been converted into something approximating what he originally was but not quite the original thing and the whole episode rests around a situation wherein everything's about to be blown to smithereens at any moment due to a bomb being on pause.
Oh yes, and the Doctor ends up dancing.
I'm a huge fan of Steven Moffat but, to be perfectly honest, Boom came across more a reject from the Droste Effect meta that became both the raison d'être and ongoing motif of his tenure as showrunner throughout his Matt Smith/Peter Capaldi era.
I got the gag right off the bat: Doctor Who instilled in this guy, at a very young age - that of Amy actually when 11 first meets her (a Scottish boy character would too on-the-nose and nowhere near as pretty to work with) - the urge to write, and I understand that: this fucking show got me at about the same age too.
So, when Steven Moffat gets his chance to write his own version of this thing, it's not just going to be a bunch of stories loosely strung together: this is going to be his dissertation on both the art of TV writing, as well as a history of Doctor Who.
If you want a free and actually very, very good course on both creative screenwriting as well as a crackingly good discourse on the art of writing Doctor Who - Steven Moffat's go as showrunner is an actually very, very witty, cleverly constructed and seriously well written Open University course in creative writing: he takes you through everything, the key core concepts being that writers - not just Doctor Who writers, but writers don't originate anything: they recycle.
The put it in the clearest terms, the screenwriter is The Silence: they don't originate anything, what they do is take whatever's already been done, chop it up into smaller bits and then tell an entirely different story to the "original" by simply moving the bits around to bring about a different outcome.
And you see this used over and over - the same motifs, the same story elements refused, often reversed from the original, and used as the basis of a new story effecting a different outcome, thus:
Say in the case of The Silence) (for example) you have a highly secretive religious order who go around manipulating everything to effect a history they want to replace another yet - at the same time - excise and remove all memory and trace of themselves from reality - whereas, when we come to Peter Capaldi's run we have The Monks who basically do exactly the opposite - they set out to write themselves into history making humanity believe they've always been there helping when, if fact the exact opposite is true...
But it doesn't just stop there: go back all the way to the Bill Hartnell era and the Peter Butterworth character The (Meddling Monk) - the idea of meddling Monks in the fabric of Doctor Who has its genesis far, far earlier - and The Silence too - go back to the David Tennant story Silence in The Library/Forrest of The Dead: Donna finds herself trapped in a virtual ream governed by a dapper suited Dr Moon who, the moment reality begins to creep in, just appears out of nowhere, gives you a "rational" reason why whatever glitch isn't important - and then, you forgot....
But even this has its roots in far, far earlier Doctor Who stories: the Mind Robber), The Land of Fiction - Moffat is perfectly candid about the fact he's not just simply a screenwriter, he's an incredible geek about Doctor Who - and he doesn't go to these lengths just for your benefit, this - his version of the show - is his oeuvre - he's not just a fan, he's a cleaver, cleaver bastard, and he never gets tired of letting you know that.
And so it goes on: Moffats take on the show is a meta involving his entire approach to both being a writer, the act of writing as well as knowing his stuff concerning the show - and, as you go through it, it's a joy to peel back the layers of exactly how many levels Steven Moffat likes to hold forth - confidently - about stuff he really does actually know a fuck of a lot about...
But here, in the context of the current show - this isn't what Moffats doing: he did all that, if you want to go back and stick your head inside Steven Moffats - by all means, go back and watch his version of Doctor Who.
Boom, however, is none of the above things, is just plain lazy: this is something he could have written with one hand tied behind his back and his eyes shut - and I wouldn't put it past him to have approached it that way were it not physically impossible for him to actually have done it.
This has all the superficial gloss of being a cleaver sci-fi concept - and. lest we not forget, the Villenguard Algorithm actually exists, if you're an NHS patient the acceptable cost of your long-term treatment is pre-determined and capped, controlled by an algorithm that just does the maths and decides to pull the plug after spending has reached a certain point: this is a real life thing, Steven Moffat hasn't made it up he's just become aware of it enough to feel as outraged as any right thinking person should - but, that's a different debate.
The point is Boom really is - for a fuck cleaver guy who never gets tired of pressing home how incredible cleaver he is - is a pretty lazy rehash of something he actually wrote far better, probably around 20 years ago.
Maybe that's the point - maybe this is a measure of the distance travelled and lessons learned: were this penned by anyone else, their parents would rightly (and proudly) give a copy pride of place magneted to the fridge - but this is Steven Moffat...
He actually does know better and he's ignoring it.
For Steven Moffat this really was going through the motions at turning in an original script - nice to see Davis's "snow" - and Ruby - are properly established as this season's Bad Wolf - but even this really is sticking to tried and tested crowd pleasing ground even on Russel's part.
Boom lacks, for want of a better word - everything that made Steven Moffat penned story the treasure it once used to be - I know the extended 5 years of the bugger running the show would drain anyone - but this was a rehash plain and simply just to have something to turn in.
Moffat wasn't trying here - he was coasting and, really, it shows. Great job on Russel's part pulling the show back from the brink BBC Studios had happily let the show slide perilously close to going over as far as domestic audiences were concerned - but I'm not seeing anything here that wasn't done better 20 years ago: and frankly it lacked any of the spark that actually made the show good when it first came back.
A few nifty tricks - the whole body thing - "Sharp scratch" - this is a guy who's been to the hospital more than he would otherwise like the past few years - you hit a certain age, I've been there.
But this was more a dud than an explosion - perhaps I should have tempered my expectations, but when the name Steven Moffat is attached to something - it should at least sparkle, and this wasn't even a sparkler.
Just a dud that didn't go off.
8/10 if it were written by anyone else - coming from Steven Moffat, however - I'm being generous with a 6/10.
I watched it, probably never going to go back.

Not to sound disgraceful and I’m kinda afraid to ask this question but I don’t feel like I’m watching one piece anymore. Manga is good, manga gives the chills, manga is great but while I watch the anime everything feels so out of place, it feels different and I don’t know how or why. Luffy will punch a guy, that’s it, it should take around 3-5 seconds at most. But it takes 2 minutes to land an attack, and it doesn’t feel like luffy either, I don’t know if I can explain myself but that’s just my opinion, I wonder what you’re thinking.

There's a lot of people who already had many or at least some more successful videos but now struggle to get a fair amount of views. As a creator myself, with almost 10M followers on tiktok via my main channel googlemapsfun, I frequently experience ups- and downs in my views. Especially because I have a theme-related page and not a personal prominence, my views depend a lot on the individual quality of my videos. However, I have always managed to go viral again regardless of what people have been saying.
So first, let's identify the potential causes of unusually low views:
The causes & individual solutions
I don't want to be one of those "prolly your content sucks" people, even though it might by true for many people, but a lot of times it's something different. And secondly, sometimes content seems bad for some people, but a sekect few might love it. If the videos have low views because of this, let's just say your niche is too small and the videos are just not a fit for a wider mass.
Besides, I believe we shouldn't just compare a person who genuinely doesn't have the ability to create engaging content with someone who just uses outdated trends for examples. So there have to be some nuances to it. However, in 99% of cases where tiktok isn't actively supressing your views, in some way or the other, your content strategy has to be changed. But in order to know what to do, figure out which of the following causes fits to you most:
Option 1: Your content has not gotten better or worse, but your target group has moved on, as you failed to gain a personal connection to them or advance your content to stay ahead of your competition. They have enjoyed your content in the past, but now it has lost relevance and interest, as they tend to watch other content that is more fresh. Perhaps they have even forgotten why they followed you at all in the first place, especially if you are a one hit wonder. Think about where they might have moved on to, and how to stay relevant for them. Can the content you are posting right now be a long term theme? There is also a possibility that you have a very weird target group that does not exist in its current form anymore, for example if you provided an entertaining video to a news topic that is not relevant anymore. Then, you are more or less at the same point you were before having success at all.
Option 2: Your target group is somewhere else, but they are just sick of your content. Maybe you used the same trend or content style for a longer time, and failed to notice that the sound you used is slightly overused, your videos become repetitive and new trends arise that you failed to notice. There is also a possibility that your competition just got ahead of you, while your videos are just as good as ever. But if you have consistently managed to gain success with a clear video structure, there is always a potential for a similar format to work again, in case you manage to identify the fundamental and distinctive aspects of it. In the meantime, try a few new content formats while you try to improve your existing video format and modernize it, maybe bring some new trends and fresh ideas into it. A lot of times, your old formats will work again in some way or another, and only in some cases you will really need to change your content fully.
Option 3: You are blind to the reasons that made you go viral. Maybe, you do not know your niche or target group. And interesting enough, your target group is still there and maybe even interested in your videos - if you just knew what is the Factor X that made them like your videos, that made a wider mass like your videos and not only a small niche. Maybe you are trying to hard and lost your authenticy on the way - there is a lot of possible further reasons. It takes skill to find out the important aspects in your video formats. Only good analysis skills, as well as trial and error will get you to that point. So keep trying and improving your content! Some might have been experiencing more views in their first videos ever posted, but then fell off. This is very common however, as tiktok tests your videos more in the beginning to find out which is your best target group.
Of course, you can always give tiktok the fault for knowingly restricting your account or something, but I would never expect that. I hoped this helped you, but at the same time I couldn't really get very specific here as there are a lot of different cases.
If you need individual 1:1 advice, feel free to DM me. Else, leave a comment especially if you think I forgot some causes. AMA in the comments aswell! Hope you'all have a nice day :)

Apologies in advance for formatting, I'm unfortunately on mobile :(
Title kinda says it. I'm currently a college student studying accounting, and I'm likely looking to work in a more corporate and formal environment. I know it's rather common in Asia to drink and go out with your boss and colleagues after work and it's often pseudo mandatory. I've heard about similar experiences here in the states in more business related jobs. I'm a very sober person and am adverse to any drinking and drug usage as a whole. I'm a woman so I'm even more uncomfortable with being around drunk people, especially when it's a male dominated environment. I wanted to ask, is accounting one of those fields where these outings are mandatory and not going makes you look bad in the sense of not being a team playewanting to bond? I'm in NY and looking to stay in the east coast if that makes any difference. Thank you for any responses!!

The myths of Aries always concur on the theme of action, enthusiasm, adventure and valiant efforts. The sign conceals a special meaning that is often forgotten in the simplicity of its planetary ruler, Mars, which explores the theme of outward, direct, unidimensional and raw expression of the instinct to conquer and attack. The underlying theme with Aries can be grasped once we take into account that it is the first sign of the zodiac, the life force and resurrection of the constellations and the path of the Sun into a new astrological year, following closely after the mystic and universal dimension of Pisces which seeks to integrate and unify opposite forces through subconscious processes. The force of the ram lies in its horns, which signify regeneration and rebirth. Here, the theme of unity and The Self or The One can be seen: Aries is the unmoved mover in the turning gears of existence. In this way, the planetary energies that match this idea are Mars and also the Sun. It’s the breath of new life which gives joy and excitement for exploration an adventure. The enthusiasm that comes with beginnings and the sense of awe coming from new places and new settings. Aries, along with Aquarius, are the signs most tied with the concept of freedom: the desire for the individual to be restricted by nothing. With Aquarius, the sense of freedom is more linked to independent thought, purity and the human right; with Aries, it’s expressed as a desire venture out into a world full of excitement and surprises, to become a traveler of the lands and seas, to be the optimistic newcomer eager to see the landscapes and meet the world with their own eyes.
Aries is the recruitment of the entirety of our selves in order to exert oneself with determination. It implies digging into the unconscious and resolving our doubts and fears in order to attack. This ties perfectly with its ruler Mars, a planet that lies in the personal unconscious of the individual and represents desires, anger, and need to exert oneself as well as embrace our own nature without fear. Aries modus operandi is by acceleration, physicality and impulse. It tells us that in order for our minds, bodies and spirit to work as one we need to exert ourselves physically — and truthfully, there is a lot of health benefits that one can obtain from physical exercise and liberation through the body. One can help heal and release pent-up emotions or even physical ailments unknown to us, and use them for a better purpose. One emotion that can make us quickly forget fear is anger, and the raw and blood-raising physical state of anger gives us the capacity to act with no hesitation, restraint or regard for consequences (whether for better or for worse).
Traditionally, the Sun has been regarded to anatomically rule both the heart (Leo) and the head, which is Aries. This gives insight into understanding that the significations of the Sun contain both the meaning of heart, purpose and pride (Leo) as well as direction, action and principle (Aries). The Sun is not just the raison d’etre, the muse and creative life force that keeps on giving life and joy and brilliance in what we do, but also the existential fact of the consciousness, the self and the trials, challenges and path we must go through in order to fulfill our purpose; the sense of meaning and transcendence to our existence which is reflected in our choices and actions.
The exaltation of the Sun in Aries, then, represents the latter part of this signification. It is the self in its most basic sense, the oneness that inhabits in every spirit of a human being, the idea of the self, and the reflection of God being succeeded in his own image by the first human or character. From here, the idea of hero's journey can be associated, for Aries represents the individual who steps foot into the world and must become a hero to resolve its own story - it is the act of mustering up the courage, casting away all doubts and focusing on a single idea in order to become and achieve. Unlike with Leo, the sign can only function psychologically exist once there is a world to go out to, forces to with which contend and obstacles to overcome.
With the sign of Aries, one has no doubt and has absolute resolve. It is the power of the will over matter, drawing upon the virtues of valor and heart (Sun) and acting out these principles. There is a sense of impending danger and urgency, and yet a greater amount of courage and decision. One knows they have to act now or never, needing self-definition. This connection to all-or-nothing, do-or-die mentality is what ties it to the themes of Pluto: the destruction of things in order to be born again. There is always the latent ability in Aries to be reborn, to go back into the depths of the self and give life to one’s core. The downfall to this is absolute stance is the lack of nuance and long term sustainability, which is the reason why the archetype also implies impulsivity, short-sightedness and the immediate and excessive waste of one’s energy and running out of stamina.
The downfalls of Aries are easy to pinpoint: lack of measure, unnecessary aggression, the need to step on others and the kind of person who perceives everything as a threat. The typical Aries can be the man with an inferiority complex that feels the need to show off as a macho, belittling others and trying to establish dominance to make up for low self-esteem; the male who has never felt manly enough on the inside, who feels like his entire value as a person is how much he can physically exert himself over others, typically going to extremes just to prove this, something which gains him no sympathy and some enemies, in which case he becomes the person which others antagonize, then being actual villain that he thought was fighting.
This is related to the common mistake of Aries which is forgetting its code and moral reason, to get too caught up in the thirst of battle and letting the fight become the end itself, letting oneself go to one’s instincts and lower nature, and forgetting the cause. Similar to the other fire signs, it is not particularly intelligent either, suffering from an overly simplistic view of things which lack depth, while also insensitive to others and to feelings in general, which they may regard as "weak" and "unnecessary".
An even darker side of Aries is observed especially with its before mentioned connection to Pluto, and particularly to the Aries point (the first degree of the sign) along with the first decan, ruled by Mars. It’s the turning point of transformation of the zodiac; the point of creation and destruction. Therefore a Plutonic Aries may be the person whose need of self-exertion is so animalistic and raw that it destroys everything other than itself - brutal force that exterminates everything in its way. The need that will never be satisfied until it reaches the ends of the world. It would be the country that is at war and then decides to annihilate the rest; to see the world flatten and become shreds of what it once was, whether out of incalculable amounts of pent up resentment that finally releases or just wanting to see the world burn.
There is the running theme of duel and contention with Aries. Along with Libra, the sign works from the perception of contrasting opposites. If we take the meaning of its ruler, Aries is the instinctual force and energy that overcomes the obstacles that are ahead of us. With its connection to the Sun, it's the relationship between the anima or higher self-consciousness paired against the shadow of the subconscious. It signifies the development of the individual and transformation, the dialogue that occurs constantly between self/other, between conscious/unconscious.
The sign has similarities to the word exaltation itself, representing the pace-gaining process of elevation and of accomplishment; to perception of opportunity and advantage. Similar to it being the beginning of spring, the point where the days start becoming longer than nights - where light starts taking over the darkness - it’s also the solar self gaining control over the saturnine shadow, being the process of evolving and displaying our higher qualities, with the promise of reaching a realm of serenity, wisdom, honor, consciousness, dignity, morality, victory, confidence and self-importance. The solar qualities of Aries are the journey of self-development, of one’s defining core, values and unbreakable principles; the process of integration and resolution of the personality, and the rewards we obtain from facing our fears.
So a typical image of the Arian hero is the one who ventures into a duel against the dark lord or monster that dwells in the caverns. On this level, Aries bestows the ability to become aware of one’s existence, sense of purpose, moral code and the willingness to act upright and with honor, to act as a hero in the names of others, and keep one’s core safe and wearing our heart on our sleeve. To face the challenge no matter how daunting it may seem. It’s the energy that gives us the courage to sacrifice our lives in heroic acts. It’s the brave step we take in order to confront what’s unknown, mysterious and possibly bigger than us, but nevertheless necessary.

I have been looking for a decent remote video editing job for like 2.5 years!
To give you my back story, I'm from a relatively poor country. I entered the video production field in 2017 through online courses, and got my first freelance job with a local English center. I didn't even make $100 a month from that job.
Past forward to 2020, I got a full-time remote job with an Australian company, and they paid me what's equivalent to like $500 a month. And at the end of 2021, I was laid off.
I also made a profile on Freelancer and from 2018 to 2022 I got like 10 projects or something for fewer than $750 in total. I also tried Upwork when I was a beginner, but my profile wasn't accepted.
Since the beginning of 2022, I applied for hundreds of jobs on indeed.com and other similar platforms and got no response at all except maybe from one or two companies and didn't end up getting a job. When I was applying, I was regularly trying to improve my resume, but to be honest, I didn't consult an expert to review it, I just followed online materials to learn how to improve it. (I can share an anonymous version of it if you can help me with it too.)
What I wanted was a job that pays like $1500 a month or something, not necessarily more than that, but I applied for jobs with various saleries as long as I meet their requirements, and as I said, nothing.
Then on October 2023 I got a job in a local company; a project-based video producer and editor job and made in total fewer than $1000 in the past 8 months. And now they paused producing videos and probably won't get back to it again
I also tried Upwork again recently. I activated my profile and applied for like 35 projects in the past 3 months and got only 2 real responses. I ended up doing a video for the first one for $80, and signed a contract for the second and expecting to meke like $800 a month from editing 8 videos for them. The problem with them though is that they've been stalling me for the past month and I haven't started yet. And even if I start now I'm not sure if I will end up making the amount of videos I was promised to make with them.
If you've read so far, then thank you. All what I want is just to have a stable income of like $1500 a month, and I just don't know what was wrong with all my previous attempts to get a decent job!

This is long and my first post on here so bear with me please.
I guess you can say in recovery from Anorexia/ED but I’ve never fully admitted to anyone, not even myself. A year ago I was at my lowest weight. I’m 5’8” and weighed in at 115lbs but I was in the best shape of my life. Even before I hit my lowest weight I was CONSTANTLY criticized by family for being “too thin” or for “not eating or not eating enough”. While my weight was dropping my family would tell me how bad or unhealthy I looked. It really hurt me.
Cut to now, I’ve started gaining weight back over the last year (20lbs to be exact). My Mom and my brother are doing the Mounjaro shot to lose weight and my sister says her weight loss is from working out and help from her dietitian but I know she binges. I hear her throwing up after every meal. My sister is ridiculously skinny now and all she gets is compliments from our other family members. Her legs are the same size that mine were a year ago if not skinnier. I look at myself now in the mirror and all I see is me being the “fat sister”. I hate it. She works out all the time just like I did. It’s just so hard because all everyone around me talks about is how much less they’re eating and how they have no appetite. Im really struggling and I’m just so angry!
All I want to know is why is okay for her to look the same way (size) that I did but it wasn’t okay for me. I look at all these people around me who are losing weight and everyone gets compliments but when I was losing weight I got nothing but cruel comments and family members trying to shove Ensure down my throat.
Is it normal to feel like this? Does anyone else feel this way? How should I handle these feelings?

In the beginning of us being together this wasn’t the case. When I would come over she would usually have a clean room and even if it was even a little bit messy she would apologize and/or not let me in until it was clean. Over time her cleanliness seems to erode (I guess) over time, especially after moving into her own place with her sister (who isn’t much better). It’s even started to feel like her being clean and tidy in the beginning was a mask and I’m seeing the real her now
Examples:

• Her car

is always (ALWAYS) messy. It’s become the norm for me to have to push away trash on the passenger floor with my feet, there’s usually a cup that she uses for a small garbage/ashtray. There’s even other peoples trash (usually sister’s but friends too) that she complains about but doesn’t stop them from doing.
I remember one time her phone fell under the seat so I helped her reach it. I saw so much trash and food and filters and weed crumbs under her seats.
Ive expressed about this before and she changed temporarily. Eventually I gave up on it because it’s her car and I’m never in it for long (I don’t have my own car). Plus if it really bothers I just don’t have to be in it

• her room

has become a consistent mess. It’s crazy that she always apologizes for it when I come over but nothing gets done about it. She has clothes and dishes and wrappers on the floor, her nightstand is always cluttered, there’s even been times when she “didn’t get a chance to do laundry over the week” so we will sleep on towels or t shirts over pillows instead of having pillowcases.
I’m no neat freak but I was raised to be a good host but it seems she wasn’t(?) One time after we had sex I accidentally left a used condom laying around (nothing inside, just used). The next day she had a friend over unexpectedly. No biggie, she hung out her in her room for a bit while I watched tv in the living room. She told me after that her friend left and she saw it and pointed out the condom. I sincerely apologized to my girlfriend for it as I know it would be seen as gross and embarrassing. My girlfriend didn’t care, saying “this is my house”.
A few days ago (let’s say Wednesday) she told me she accidentally spilled her ashtray on the floor. Weekend comes and that spill is still on the floor. I laughed about it initially, thinking she would get to it. She never did, despite us eating and watching tv in the living room all night and it being as simple as sweeping it up. I even accidentally stepped on the pile of ash, filters, and sticks and expressed it made me upset. Still nothing done about it, instead just walks around it every time
what am I doing about it?
You may be saying to yourself, “why not help out sometimes?” Well one, it’s her house so it’s not my responsibility. And two, I actually have. I’m someone who was raised to be a good houseguest as well. When I’m over her place I clean. Not only do I genuinely want to help sometimes but I try to take care of any mess I contribute to. I’ll wash dishes, take out trash from our food delivery bags, etc
You may also be asking, “well have you communicated this to her?” One, I feel this isn’t something a partner should have to bring up as it is her personal and basic well-being. I feel it’s weird to have to tell my partner about the importance of keeping her home/room clean. Plus if this basic thing is changed just for the sake of the relationship or because a partner brings it up, similar to her car, would be it be real change? Two, tactfully I mention it all the time: “the trash is getting full, you guys should do the dishes more often I don’t want y’all to get pests, I think you should throw out the food in that Tupperware in fridge being it’s been in there for a few months, etc
some understanding
She works too jobs, one at a daycare and another as an aba therapist. She was heavily abused as a child and endures emotional and financial abuse from her sister often. In my opinion, she has every reason to be burnt out and not have the energy to do even basic things sometimes. She does try to be better. Though she has back problems that deter her from being able to do the dishes in one go she has done it here and there. She has cleaned the bathroom, washed her clothes, and keeps bed bed clean. It sounds like I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel here, I know, but I’m saying these things to say ‘I don’t think she’s lazy. I think she’s dealing with more than she can handle externally and internally and it’s affecting how she lives. I see her efforts and I don’t want it to come across as me condescending’. (Therapy would be helpful imo but she lacks the time and desire, she says).

First of all, English isn't my first language so I (F, 25) apologize if things are oddly phrased.
There is this friend I've known for almost a decade. We were really close, he was like my best friend and I was his. We've been there for each other during tough time. About 4 years ago, I've ghosted him during a few months. I felt terrible about it and we eventually reconnected, even though he was really hurt and I felt really guilty. We got close again but never as much as before. About a year ago, I did it again. After thinking a lot about this, I think it's because I was seeing our relationship dying and couldn't stand it. We were both putting less effort in it but it doesn't mean I should have do this and I'm sure it could have been just a low phase. I also know there is something deeper which makes me ghost people I love. I know how awful and cruel I am for doing this. I feel terrible. I know I am miserable and need to sort this out with therapy.
I would like to reconnect with him and know if he's doing okay but I know I shouldn't because I already hurt him twice. That being said, I want to apologize to him. I'm not delusional and I know I also want to do this because the guilt is eating me. However, he deserves an explanation and I truly want him to know it is not his fault and there is nothing wrong with him. But should I reach to him to apologize and tell him all this or should I leave him alone and let him forget about me? What would you prefer?
I genuinely ask because I just don't want to hurt him anymore. I know it is too late, but I'm looking for ways to make it less terrible for him because I still love him. I'm thinking getting an apology might help him get a closure, but it might also awaken the pain?
Thank you for taking the time to read me.

So I'm doing a rewatch and as we all know, Season 1 is perfection. Firstly it's paced so damn quickly that characters and storylines go so quickly. You're exhausted by the end of it. However, the humour and lightheartedness is the number 1 thing of Season 1. Plus you've got the score by Christopher Tyng which is basically a character in and on itself. That plus the warm highly saturated lighting makes the show feel really warm and fuzzy. Like a nice big warm hug.
Now I'm on Season 2 and the fact that storylines slow down so much is the biggest shot in the foot. Here are a bunch of things I've noticed:
There's no "ending" to storylines. Like for example I feel like Seth is just obsessed with Alex for WAY too long. Just when you think it's ended the next episode Seth is like "so how do I get back with Alex?", it's like the writers just didn't know WTF to do with the storyline. Like move on!
The above paragraph is exactly the same with Ryan and Lindsay. How many times does she say "I think it's best we don't see each other anymore". Like for gods sake if this was Season 1, Ryan and Lindsay would only date for like 3 episodes and then he will be with another girl. Same with Seth.
DJ is so boring and had no chemistry with Marissa. He also never once interacted with any other character on the show??? Like huh? Have him talk to other characters. They really didn't know what to do with this guy and I feel like something happened behind the scenes?
Zach is too nice. I feel like he's always on the verge of tears.
Now one of the main things in my opinion is that they started giving Kirsten and Sandy really hard hitting storylines. Season 1 was perfection with them two because their storylines were serious but written extremely fun. Think of the episode of The Heights, or the episode where Sandy finds out about Jimmy kissing her. Those episodes are fun and yes they argue but by the end of the episode they are tight as hell, even stronger and ready to face a new episode of drama.
Also there's hardly any scenes with the kids and the adults. This gets even worse in S3 but once they introduce Rebecca and then Carter it just started to spiral to S3 depressing territory. Like S1 with Rebecca constantly flirting and trying it on with Sandy is how you should be doing a "cheating" storyline. Not dull Rebecca and Carter who looks like he smells of vodka all the time.
Like I'm watching while episodes in S2 and I swear there's an episode where Sandy doesn't talk to Ryan once.. I'm like wtf how did this get approved? Instead they focus on such dull voting soap opera storylines like Rebecca and if she's alive or dead.
The score was still made by Christopher Tyng but it takes a MAJOR back seat and instead starts to rely on "real singing music" all the time. Which means your kicking a "hidden character" off the show.
The lighting starts to get darker also but not as depressing as S3 lighting.
This season is at its absolute best once they bring Trey back. Because it forces Sandy and Kirsten to be there for Ryan and it makes Ryan more S1 esque with the broodyness, hardly talking and fighting drama. By the end of S2 they try to do what early S1 did best with the kids, which was fighting, beaches, sexiness, parties, Ryan and his family etc. it heavily brings back the Cohens being there for Ryan feeling that S1 thrived upon.
I also think that in S1 they were all so like tanned and brown which made them full of life. But in S2 onwards everyone is so pale (besides a few characters) which doesn't make you feel good.
Ok that's my mini rant done. I've just entered Rebecca territory and I'm always skipping scenes. God help me in S3.
By the way I didn't skip One. Single. Scene. In season 1.

As the shiny weekend comes to a close, I and I'm sure many others have played a lot of endless the last few days. While I do love this game, I can't help but notice how much of a drag endless is. Endless is basically just one big gambling simulator where you get dopamine when you get a shiny or legendary and it keeps you playing long enough to get the next hit. As someone who enjoys both making and balancing games, I wanted to take some time to dive into why endless has the problems it does and how they can be fixed. My hope in sharing these ideas is that endless will eventually be revamped into something more fun in the long term instead of just a shiny grind. So strap in as we discuss the problems with endless and how to fix them.

Part 1: Why play RogueLites?

I think the first step to understanding what is wrong with endless is to understand why we are even playing this game in the first place. I hear the terms roguelite and roguelike used interchangeably a lot so I wanted to quickly address the difference between them. The short of it is roguelikes complete reset your progress in between runs while roguelites have some progress carry over. This puts PokeRogue firmly in the roguelite category, since you can unlock new starters, and as such, I will be operating under the assumption that having progress carry over between runs is important to the game for the remainder of this post.
As for what makes roguelites fun, I think there are a few different factors. First and foremost is replayability. Since a run is never the same as any other, the genre has infinite replays built in, so long as you don't get bored of the core gameplay mechanics. However, the enemies and rewards you get during each run are not the only thing that can change between runs.
This leads me to my second point which is the fun of trying new builds. Most roguelites have a wide variety of weapons and approaches to progressing that can either be chosen at the start or unlocked during the run. Because of the random nature of the genre, even similar builds will fluctuate run to run and trying to get your build to function perfectly like you want it to is a fun challenge. You may have an idea of what you want to use but then you get an item that changes the way your build works and so next time you play this build, you actively seek out this item because it was a cool adaptation. Being able to not only try, but succeed, with a variety of strategies and builds is incredibly important to the long term fun and replayability of roguelites.
The final factor in why roguelites are fun is because you can constantly push for a new record. This is specifically something unique to endless. The game can never truly be beaten. You as the player set a goal for yourself and compete against that goal, trying to achieve it. When you eventually do, you set a new goal and push for that one. These goals can be personal to you, like trying to reach a certain round or seeing how far you can progress with a specific build, or they can be more competitive, like trying to push for a record in the highest round ever achieved.
Roguelites are addicting and fun because you never truly beat them, you just find new ways to play them. Now that we understand a bit about why roguelites are fun, let's look at PokeRogue to see how it matches up.

Part 2: Endless is a Solved Game

First, let's look at the good parts of endless. Endless has good rewards for playing it. As you go deeper into endless, you get more and more rare starters. Right now, starters are the only thing that carries over between runs so endless is the best way to progress your account. In theory, this should increase replayability as you can do an endless run, get new starters, do a run with your new starters, rinse and repeat. In practice though this simply isn't true.
While the progression endless gives your account is good, it's ultimately pretty meaningless and most of the actual experience of playing endless isn't fun at all. When you get deep into an endless run, which is arguably where most endless players will aim for since otherwise you would play classic, the game becomes stagnant. You one shot everything or you get one shot. Type matchups don't matter. Stats don't matter. Nothing matters except being able to oneshot the opponent through whatever tokens or abilities they have. This isn't a problem in itself but if we look a little deeper it becomes one.
There's nothing wrong with different builds simply being different ways to oneshot. What is an issue though is when the core mechanics of Pokemon stop mattering and there is only one way to win battles. Type matchups are arguably the most important mechanics in Pokemon, right after catching new Pokemon. The fact that these eventually are rendered useless means that there's no reason for this to be a Pokemon game in the first place. Additionally, even just having a really strong Pokemon that can cut through everything with strong STAB doesn't work because the only late game strategy that works is fixed damage and sturdy. When you finally reach rounds that push the limits of where you've been before, these should be the rounds that your build is online and being tested. Instead, you are forced to transition to a Pokemon with sturdy and metal burst or fixed damage like salt cure plus soak. There is no room for trying different builds to push boundaries because the game has been solved. We know what the best and only strategy is and if you aren't using it, you can't compete.
The fact that only one strategy is viable means that any progress you make between runs doesn't matter either. Why use new starters when you're just gonna end up using gargancl with salt cure or metal burst blissey? This means that the only thing that endless is actually good for, making your account stronger, is made irrelevant by the same mode. This is the biggest problem endless has but there are a few smaller ones I'd like to quickly address.

Part 3: Smaller Endless Problems

I'll try to keep this section brief and run through these problems quickly.
First, generic encounters are too time consuming. There is no reason the random, non-boss Pidgeott should ever take more than 5 seconds to defeat. Generic encounters serve the purpose of giving you a few rewards to make you stronger before the next major fight. Endure tokens waste so much time. If I'm overkilling this raticate by 5000%, I shouldn't have to sit through 30 seconds of dialogue telling me it endured the hit, raised all its stats, flinched, and then need to select my move again. Even boss encounters don't need endure tokens. They are already gated by segmented health bars. These are actually good and mean you have to think about how to get through them. Why then, does the boss get to live with 1 hp when I've finally overcome it? Simply put endure tokens need to go.
Second, boss battles are too repetitive. I don't mean pokemon labeled "boss" but instead the bosses you encounter every 50 floors. These should be the rounds that test your build but instead, it's the same as every other "boss" you encounter in the run. These rounds need to be made harder and all other rounds should be easier, that way there's a clear distinction between fodder and challenge. The Eternatus encounters are actually pretty good from a challenge perspective since they regularly take a while to beat. If the 50 floor encounters were more like this, and the Eternatus encounters were varied with some other Pokemon so you need multiple strategies instead of just a fairy/steel to wall it, the boss fights would be pretty good.
Finally, if you can't oneshot an enemy, it shouldn't be able to oneshot you. Essentially, bosses need to not be able to be oneshot. What this means though is that you will take hits and in that case, you need to be able to survive them. Damage Reduction tokens are actually ok but damage multipliers just make every move a oneshot. Boss fights should play out more like VGC matches, where there's constant switching of your Pokemon to have an advantageous type matchup. Your switches need to be able to survive hits when they come in, or else you need a way to correctly predict when you can make a switch for free to get a better Pokemon out.
I could go more in depth on all these problems and maybe I will sometime but for now just know they are there and will influence what the fixes need to fix.

Part 4: The Fixes

Now that we understand what's wrong with endless, let's talk about fixing it.
The first and easiest change is that endure tokens need to be removed. This speeds up the game and gets you into boss fights faster. Simple, done, this one change makes the game so much more fun and less tedious.
For some bigger changes, let's take a look at the rest of the tokens. Status tokens mean nothing since your Pokemon will always have infinite lum berries once you get 3 berry pouches and a mini black hole. Fusion tokens are cool. These throw wrenches at you and are fun and should stay. Damage reduction tokens are ok. These tokens prevent you from oneshotting the boss and as we discussed before, that's good. Damage multipliers increase the problem of oneshots though and for that reason need to either be heavily nerfed or removed. If my defensive Archaludon is getting onehshot by vine whip, that's a problem. Finally, recovery tokens are alright. The make it so you can't just stall out a boss completely. You have to constantly be damaging them so they don't heal back to full. I would limit these though to heal a smaller amount. Something like 1/16 of max HP every turn should be the maximum that recovery tokens can do. This is the same as leftovers in the main series and that is one of the best items for survivability in the entire game.
I would make the following changes to tokens: remove endure tokens, remove status tokens, remove damage multiplier tokens, heavily nerf recovery tokens, keep fusion tokens, and keep damage reduction tokens. Also, remove all tokens from any Pokemon without a boss health bar. You may think this is too big a nerf to enemies but in conjuction with this, I think the mini black hole also needs to be changed or removed. With status tokens gone, it's more important than ever that status is meaningful when it is inflicted. Without the mini black hole, you need to actually think about what to do about status instead of just letting your infinite lum berries solve it for you. Maybe now you need to spend some of your post encounter rewards on lum berries or items other than rare candies since you can't just steal them off wild pokemon for free. Of course, things like magician and thief still exist but these are ok because they are niche. The grip claw is also alright since it isn't guaranteed to steal something, it just gives you a little more breathing room.
Next up on the list is boss fights. For this section, I'm only referring to the every 50 floor ones. The token changes I believe would solve a lot of the problems with this fights but there are two big changes I would implement. First, these fights should all be 2v1 double battles like the final battle of classic. This gives room for more strategy and makes switching out more of a viable option if you can predict which slot the AI will target. Second change is to increase the movepools of all bosses. This may be controversial but I think bosses should not be limited to 4 moves. Bosses having a wider variety of options makes them much more formidable and means you need to prepare for more threats. As for what these movepools would be, I would say any egg moves or level up moves should be fair game. Maybe some tms as well but those would need to be hand selected which is harder to implement.
The last few changes I'd add focuses on making starter choice important and allowing for cooler builds. There needs to be more variety in held items. The main series has so many cool options to draw from and adding them makes for a lot of variety in what a given pokemon can do. Imagine a Pokemon with sniper and 3 scope lenses to always crit. Or a Pokemon with a bunch of leftovers and rocky helmets and rough skin. In return for the wider variety, there would need to be some limit on how many non-berry, non-consumable held items a pokemon could have. Without a limit, the best strategy would still be to just stack all the items on one Pokemon and let it sweep. I think 20 would be a good place to start though this could be changed. It also adds an opportunity cost. Your sweeper can't also be tank with 3 leftovers because you need to use those item slots for offensive items.
Finally, I would add one new item to the game with a unique effect. Similar to the DNA splicers, this would allow you to combine two Pokemon to get a stronger one. The new item would be ability capsule and here's how it works. The ability capsule allows you to select a pokemon from your party, sacrificing said Pokemon and adding its ability to another Pokemon. The catch though is that the ability can only be added to a Pokemon that was selected as a starter for the run. Some abilities would have to be non-transferable like wonder guard or stance change but I think this goes a long way in making really cool combinations to aim for late game. It also makes your starter selection more important since you can think about what abilities you want to add to your starter later.

Conclusion and TL;DR

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. To those of you who just scrolled to the bottom, here's the TL;DR of changes

• remove endure tokens, status tokens, damage multiplier tokens
  
• nerf recovery tokens
  
• remove mini black hole
  
• remove tokens from non-boss Pokemon
  
• Make every 50 floor encounter a 2v1 battle
  
• Increase the movepools of 50 floor encounters
  
• Add more held items from main series
  
• Limit non-berry, non-consumable held items to 20
  
• Add an item that allows you to sacrifice a party Pokemon to add its ability to one of your starters
  

I want to be clear that I love this game and am not trying to be super negative. I just want to see it do well months and years from now and believe these changes are the first step towards doing that. I have a lot more I could say but this post is already long so I'll leave it at that. If any devs happen to read this and want to hear more in depth explanation or thoughts on solutions to problems with the game, I'm happy to talk more. In the meantime, I'm gonna go back to my endless run and keep trying to get a shiny Rayquaza.

Hi everyone! I looked around the sub and didn't find anything pertaining to this specifically, so apologies if it's been asked before.
I'm planning on making a game someday in the future, and am currently developing a ttrpg. I wanted to make background music for both of them myself - but I don't know where to start.
Do you all know any good resources for starting to learn? I'd guess music theory and softwares to learn, things like that? To clarify, I don't really plan on making money from either of my projects, and will be/am making them just because I want to. So industry stuff, prices, portfolio tips and things like that aren't needed.
I only know bare bones basics - I played the acoustic guitar when I was a teen, and that was a while ago. Been a while since I even touched that guitar. So even bare bones steps are appreciated. I do partially remember how to read music sheets, but still, a refresher's always good.
Tysm in advance! Appreciate you all!