Aunt mom poems

I'm feeling quite heartbroken and could use some advice and support, prayers. I was talking to a brother, and things seemed to be going well. We discussed various aspects of our future together, including religious practices and family values. He would often talk about our future, which made me hopeful and excited. However, after not hearing from him for a day, I was suddenly hit with a message saying we are not compatible and that it's not his fault for wanting someone who comes from a fully Muslim household.
He mentioned my Christian mother as a negative, despite me being a practicing Muslim (I was born Muslim) and striving daily to get closer to the deen. My dad is Muslim, and my parents are still married. I grew up primarily with my dad's side of the family and was raised with strong Islamic values. My mom, although Christian, pushed me to learn how to read the Quran and to understand its meaning, and she raised me to be Muslim. On top of that, I have aunts who are devout Muslim women and all wear hijab..... So him saying I have no Muslim role models is hurtful and false. The thing I agree only with is me traveling alone which I think was really the main factor but I had said if we were married I wouldn't travel alone without a mahram (Mahram means a person who you are not allowed to marry, and it is permissible to see them without a headscarf and shake their hands and hug them if you like. )
i'd obliged to the Hadith. This is the first and only time I'm traveling alone.
I pray all five prayers and Tahajjud, and I'm committed to living according to Islamic principles. I even agreed with him and expressed my desire to adhere to traditional Islamic roles as a wife. I'm well-educated and career-oriented, but my ultimate goals are marriage and motherhood.
Despite my efforts to explain my commitment to our faith and my willingness to grow, it seems like his mind was made up. I had even told my parents about him, and they were willing to meet him and his family. I feel like I'm being penalized for having a Christian mother and for growing up in the West.
I'm struggling to cope with this sudden change and the hurt it has caused. I really liked him and even saw a future with him. Any advice on how to move forward or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I really do want to get married and complete half my deen😞😩 but I feel being highly educated and having a career before marriage and my age is frowned upon.

Hi I’m Li 14 (f) and my sister Dia is 17. It all started in December, my sister asked me and my mom if we could got to our schools rival basketball game, of course me being happy that my sister wanted to hang out with said yes. Little did I know that was a big mistake. During the game me and my sister got separated and she snuck off and left the building so I was alone with a lot of people that I didn’t know. I have extreme social anxiety and I have to calm myself down in big crowds. During that time my sister was hanging out with her foolish friends and got Sa’d. After that there was a shooting that we were caught in the middle of. Thankfully me and her got out because I observed the crowd and noticed that the police were not calm and were putting on vest. Fast forward to January my sister got raped. She snuck out again and I was the one that had to tell my mom. And my mom is really sensitive. But when I told her the only thing that she was talking about was different ways to beat Dia and the scary thing was that she would actually do it, si I begged her to be optimistic about why she might have snuck out. I told my mom to wait to call the police until 9 a.m. During that time I went to what I knew best which was going mute and not talking, crying, and cleaning. I didn’t have thoughts, ideas, it was like there was a black hole inside of me. When I felt like the time was right it told my mom to go outside, and there was a police officer driving past and my mom flagged him down, when the police officer was in the house, I heard crying but when I saw my mom it was her fake cry, not her real one, it made me feel disgusted, and like she only wanted the attention. There was only one person that I knew she could be at but we were on bad terms, and that was my dad. He was the first person that I called, after one ring he answered, and I asked where is she to him crying and sounding defeated, he told me to calm down then we need to talk and that she is okay and it would be best if we meet up. So we all meet up at my great aunts house. I saw my dad for the first time in over a year, and although it wasn’t on the best terms, I still wanted to run up to him and cry, but I didn’t because it wasn’t about me it was about Dia. She told me, my dad, my mom, and my great aunt that she was raped and threatened. My dad being the protective guy that he is said that we should go and talk to the police and got to the hospital to confirm that she was sa’d. We stayed in the hospital for about 10-12 hours taking shifts, because there could only be 2 people back there at a time. My mom and stepmom talked to each other for the first time, and I hung out with my dad and younger sister Ayah. The process took a long time, but it was confirmed that she was raped. After we left the hospital, we went back to our moms house and started packing to stay with our dad until everything was situated. When I got done putting the last suitcase in the trunk, my mom leaned down at the window at 11:50 p.m. and said “ I hope y’all are up and ready for school” after she said that I started crying, like what did she not get by her daughter was raped, it’s not something that goes away in a few hours. I lost so much respect for her after that. And for the next couple of months we were living with our dad full time until the case was figured out. During that time me and Dia would make jokes on our moms mental and physical abuse. One day our stepmom overheard me and asked what we were talking about, and if everything was okay at my moms house, and me and Dia saying yes, because she had normalized the abuse for years. But my stepmom told my dad and they had a talk on abuse and how it wasn’t normal. My dad and stepmom then contacted their lawyer and told him what happened. Then my sister Dia said that we should write letters on how the abuse was carried out, and why. And I agreed that it should be fine, but it wasn’t, during the time of her writing her letters, she would stay up trying to perfect them, she started sleeping in my room because she felt scared, and me being comforting, said yes, but that would be my biggest mistake inviting her in my personal space. One night she climbed up my stairs on my bunk bed and held my hands and stared into my eyes at like 3 in the morning and that scared the heck out of me. I’m not one to have any fears but whenever she came near me she scared me so much as if she was possessed and I can feel when something isn’t right but that’s were she got me. Every time me and her were alone she would say something that made no sense, and I felt like I was going crazy until she left to go to the bathroom and it was me, my stepmom and my dad, I had a panic attack and told them how she was acting, and at first they thought I was jealous, because she was getting all of the attention, but I don’t blame them for thinking that way. That night when they all went to sleep, Dia cried at my doorway where I couldn’t see her face, but there was light behind her, she said “I’m the sacrifice” and then left out of the room and went down to the second floor. I was so scared that night because I thought she was going to be harmed, or do the harming. It didn’t take me that long to fall asleep but I told me too long to wake up. All I could hear was my dad calling my name and I eventually got up. I unlocked my door, I walked out to my sisters outside my room. My little sister playing with cards, cards that I had never seen. And Dia looking menacingly in the corner of her room. My stepmom had jury duty that day and my dad was going to take her. As soon as they left my sister had two phones in her hand, and started talking about how we’re Dominican, mind you we are African American and Indigenous, and my little sister is mixed with African American and Haitian, so I was so confused and I looked at my phone for the time and Dia tried to take it say that the wasn’t real and that everything was fake the she started yelling. And attacked me, I was on the edge of my lower bunk, and my litter sister was right next to me. I put her in the corner of my room, to protect her because I thought I was going to have to fight Dia physically, which I’m 5”2, 115 pounds and I’m buff, and do weightlifting and know mixed martial arts, so I kinda of could hold my own, but she didn’t know her strength, she’s smaller than me, but it felt like I was trying to fight a leopard. But my dad ended up calling me and telling me to bring my little sister down to the car because they didn’t have a good feeling, and by the time he took her in the car Dia was acting as crazy as the joker. And apparently she called the police with my mom and made it seem like there was child abuse going on at my dads house but honestly it was the complete opposite, I’ve never felt a sense of normalcy in years. We went down to the first floor and the police were at the front door, they asked specifically for all the women in the house, because there was an incomplete call and they said it was a women’s voice. The only person that I thought of was my sister Dia because she was the only one with the house phones in her hands. And the police asked if everything was okay and she turned to my stepmom and said she needs to leave and said a lot of bad stuff, but in conclusion, she assaulted two police officers, recorded like she wasn’t acting completely insane, and she also lied and said that me and her were kidnapped and that she’s 18 and I’m 16, which I talked to the police separately and told them that she had been through a lot, and that we were not kidnapped and that we came here on our own terms, and that I’m 14 and she’s 16. The police were very nice and understanding. Because we are black in a mainly white neighborhood my dad begged them to please have mercy on her and I’ve never seen him cry like he did that day, it broke me mentally and cause my trust issues to go up. That day was long a traumatizing because I get really scared when people are yelling at me are shouting. My stepmom and dad fought so hard for my sister and me and now they have major trust issues with everyone, I feel really bad for them because Dia has put our younger sister on the line of possibly being adopted because of her false lies, she also lied and said that I was doing heavy drugs and I had to take a drug test in front on my dad and stepmom which was humiliating and I degraded my name and I felt like I didn’t have purpose on this earth because of my sister Dia. We had court and the judge said that I had to go back with my mom, hi to therapy, and that I wouldn’t be able to see my dad until the next weekend, I took a walk during the court case and I was apparently wanted by 50 different sheriffs, they found me and I was really confused, I gave my dad and stepmom one last hug that day and cried profusely, I saw about three other sheriffs crying as well. My mom made two walk me to her car, and made it seem like I was a prisoner just missing the chains and jumpsuit. I ended up talking to one of the sheriffs and he gave me some good advice to keep my head up and keep going, so that’s what I did and I talked to him about possibly getting myself emancipated, which I don’t really want. I went in the car with my sister and she was yelling a crying the entire time I was in the car and scared the absolute crap out of me. That next Friday I packed my clothes and stuff that I wanted to go to my dad’s house, and my sister started coming at me with words and I tried to take my water bottle back from her and she kicked me in my stomach and told me to start crying but I didn’t and I pushed her back off of me, I’m self defense and I got so mad at the fact that I couldn’t really fight her, so I let out every word that would hurt someone and I never cussed that much in my life but I didn’t notice how much I was cussing until I heard my Nana at the bottom of the stairs, my sister went downstairs and laughed at me, and then she went into the living room where I sleep every night and she took my Beats, phone charger, and epi pen and hid them throughout the house. She’s had so many episodes that I feel like I’m going crazy, I have multiple videos of her episodes out of self defense. My mom told me that I couldn’t text or call my dad, so I snuck and called him to inform him of what has been happening, I believe that it’s child endangerment if my mom leaves me alone with my sister. She honestly does stuff or says stuff when my mom leaves me alone with her. She was jealous of me and tried to attack me, she even threw a full candle at my head because she thought I was the cause of all of the false and childish decisions she made. She still has episodes a lot, and I want to live with my dad. She put such a negative effect on their lives, and now we all have to go to court because of her lies. She even knows who raped her and she protects them with her whole life and lies for them, and she lied about my dad trying to kidnap us, she ruined her relationship with a lot of people and all for what? Just to fit in, it’s really sad how much people change their lives for other peoples judgment. Today is my birthday and I’m at my dads house. I really don’t want to go over to my mom’s house. I really need advice. I just want a better and more peaceful life.

Bear with me as English is my second language.
My (27M) MIL (60F), SIL (25F), niece (2F), and BIL (12M) stayed over at my wife’s (28F) and my apartment for the weekend because they live in another city, and there's a family event at my aunt-in-law’s (AIL) house. Since our apartment is not that big, my BIL slept on the couch while my MIL, SIL, and niece shared a room and slept in the same bed.
Today we went to the mall so that my wife could hang out with my MIL since she rarely sees her. Since it was already late, my MIL decided to stay another night because she didn't want to drive in the middle of the night. When we arrived at the apartment, my MIL suddenly threw up and felt dizzy. So we rushed her to bed so she could rest. After a few hours, my niece’s diaper overflowed while she was sitting on the bed, and some of it got on the bed, which smelled bad (you know how "it" smells). Since my MIL was laying on the bed, I asked her to move a little so I could change the sheets and bed cover. When I got back, my MIL was on the floor crying, saying that I am a terrible son-in-law for not letting her rest. She cried, saying that she wanted to go home because she didn't feel welcome. To be honest, at that moment I got angry when I heard she wanted to drive home while being sick (it's a 3-hour drive). After a while of persuading her to go back to sleep, I lost my temper and said, "Mom, I am so sorry for screaming at you, but YOU ARE SICK AND YOU NEED TO REST. SO GO LAY DOWN AND REST!" (screaming tone).
So, AITAH?

Backstory: When I was 6 or 7, my 15 y old cousin manipulated me into having sex with him multiple times. I had no idea what I was doing at the time, but when I was older and the flashbacks came back I knew what happened was wrong of him. I told my mom, and a few of my aunts, but no one really seems to care. They feel like our age gap at the time was no big deal. They don’t want to “mess up” the family over something that happened 15 years ago. So, no one has confronted him, and he is someone I still have to see at every family function and act like everything is fine. I really do hate him, I have no romantic feelings for him at all. (Obviously)
My dream: My dream was that I confronted him and I’m not exactly sure what happened but I was satisfied with the way he responded. I felt like complete and at peace with it. Then one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. We then continued to have a sexual relationship, And we would sneak around and have sex. We kept it hidden from everyone in our family, but he was like the love of my life in this dream. It wasn’t just sexual I felt a romantic pull as well, and wanted him to be like my boyfriend.
This topic is something I think about from time to time but I never had a dream like this (even when I was going through the thick of it telling my mom a few years ago)
What does this mean!

Backstory: When I was 6 or 7, my 15 y old cousin manipulated me into having sex with him multiple times. I had no idea what I was doing at the time, but when I was older and the flashbacks came back I knew what happened was wrong of him. I told my mom, and a few of my aunts, but no one really seems to care. They feel like our age gap at the time was no big deal. They don’t want to “mess up” the family over something that happened 15 years ago. So, no one has confronted him, and he is someone I still have to see at every family function and act like everything is fine. I really do hate him, I have no romantic feelings for him at all. (Obviously)
My dream: My dream was that I confronted him and I’m not exactly sure what happened but I was satisfied with the way he responded. I felt like complete and at peace with it. Then one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. We then continued to have a sexual relationship, And we would sneak around and have sex. We kept it hidden from everyone in our family, but he was like the love of my life in this dream. It wasn’t just sexual I felt a romantic pull as well, and wanted him to be like my boyfriend.
This topic is something I think about from time to time but I never had a dream like this (even when I was going through the thick of it telling my mom a few years ago)
What does this mean!

Yesterday my husband and I (Im 22 hes turning 22 next week) eloped we had a small ceremony in the town by his college with our two best friends and a hired officiant. No one but those present and a few other close friends know about us getting married.
Basically we're high-school sweethearts we've been together for 6 years but his mother has never approved of me because I'm not Asian like him and I didn't get into an Ivy league college like him. At the beginning of our relationship only she has had an issue with me but over the years she's turned his whole family against me because I listen to metal and go to metal concerts so she assumes I do drugs, sleep around, and worship the devil. She also tell hers family that its my fault that hes gotten rebellious and talks back to her and because of me he keeps secrets from her so I'm apparently tearing apart the family. She also blames his mental health on me saying his ADHD got worse because of me even though he was diagnosed as a kid and she hid it from everyone and kept it untreated because she refused to believe something was wrong with her son. And when he constantly told his family he had trouble focusing they told him that he wasn't trying hard enough and finally one of his aunts took him to a phycologist behind his mom's back and he was diagnosed with ADHD, sever depression, and anxiety and it was revealed that he was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and treatment should have been started then. She also is convinced that I'm only with him because I'm after her money. Ironically she's psychotherapist and college professor that teaches child development so they're relatively well off. She's met my family and the fact that we live in a poorer part of the city and my dad made a comment about taxes she assumed that we're poor white trash Trump supporters so I must be after their money. She also tracks his location like a hawk if he goes somewhere he doesn't normally go she assumes he's with me. His freshman year I would come up and get a hotel because I couldn't stay in his dorm because of covid and we'd get food together after his classes he wouldn't even come to my hotel and she'd freak out about him going to cafes and restaurants. His Sophomore and Junior years id come up once every like 3 months and stay in his dorm with him but during his junior year he wasn't doing well in classes because he was finally on medication for his ADHD, depression, and anxiety but because it was pretty severe they changed his dosage a bunch of times and it messed him up. She came up unannounced and caught me in his dorm and then blamed his falling grades on me and berated me saying I'm not good enough for him and I'm tearing their family apart and I'm just some devil worshiping whore and she asked me if I've slept with him and was like "he's going to have to get std tested now" and "he only likes you because you opened your legs for him like a whore". Unfortunately he would have moved out already but she's paying for his tuition and everything which is over 50k a year so he's stuck with her for now but he's graduating in 6 months. (He's a half a year behind because of when we wasn't doing well because of the meds). We decided to get married because we weren't going to let his mother separate us again because she caused us to split once and we realized the only problem with our relationship is her.
Yesterday my husband's childhood friend drove up to be a witness in our wedding but also to be the distraction to get my husband out of the house so he came up and told my husband's mom that he was here to see him because his birthday is next week and his mom was immediately suspicious. She tracked my husband and thankfully after our ceremony after everyone had changed and the officiant had already left she pulled up in her car next to my husband's friends car, saw me and my best friend in the back seat and my husband and his friend in the front and she staring banging on the windows and screaming that I'm a psyco and I'm not good for him and that my husband was manipulated by me and that she was disappointed in my husband's friend for lying to them. We immediately drove off, we dropped my best friend off at the airport and she begged me to go with her (we both work for an airline so if there's open seats we can just list and get on for free and there were plenty of open seats) because she was scared my mother in law would do something to me but I told her I'd be fine. After we dropped her off we drove to my hotel which my husband's best friend also got a room at and we both checked in and during that my husband's mother called demanding to know why we were at a hotel and he said I left to the airport and his friend was just checking in. His mother threatened him saying if he didn't come home she would kick him out. So my husband and his friend left and his mother drove out to the hotel and told my husband she was going to raid the hotel and find me and that I'm dead after this. She literally sat in her car in front of the hotel for like 20 min and then went home his family berated his friend and then said he could stay there for the night so which he said absolutely not you people are crazy so I got a hotel.
It seems like she didnt piece together that we got married at least but she flipped out from me just being there. To make matters worse she apparently watched some documentary called Jennifer did it and now she's convinced that me and my husband are plotting to kill her. I know he has to deal with her for now but after seeing how crazy she was yesterday I think even when he graduates and he moves out (which he'll be moving in with me and I'm already prepared to financially support him until he gets a job too, I make almost six figures I'm not some poor kid like his mom thinks) I think she'll stalk us or harass us. I told him when he packs all his stuff and I pick him up to be like "bye I'm moving in with my wife" but like even then I'm sure she's still going to be insane. I talked to lawyers about restraining orders but they've said it probably won't work because she is his mom so it's unlikely we'd actually get the restraining order.
Any advice?

I (15 Female), My sister (13 Female) we will call her celine. So 3 years ago when my mom was at work, my father was at home and it was the last week of school so i didn’t go to school so did my sisters. I was on my period that morning and i didn’t want to eat anything and i was staying at my sisters room. That morning my father came to her room and asked if we’re hungry we said no but he told me “Don't eat, you're already like a jerry can.” To this day i never forget that and i never will. After my father said that to me at our every fight my sister called me “Fat, Pig, Obese” and etc. I cried every time, i starved myself but i gave up and ended up eating and i swear when she insulted me my mother didn’t do anything, i swear over my life, i swear over everything i have and will have she just sat there and didn’t say anything to my sister but every time she insulted me i opened my mouth to call her bitch but before i could finish my word my mother would scold me for calling that word to my sister “Do you even know what that means?”, “I’m calling your father and you’ll see after he gets home.” It was always like that. I cried to my mother about what she says and she just buries her faca in her phone or just tell me that she always warns my sister but i haven’t heard that. Obviously i never believed that sick lie, I wasn’t obese i was kinda overweight. It all started when they drop me at my grandmas house for a week or two. she would make food with butter but really much butter and when i said i was full and couldn’t eat more she would be like “Oh but i made them only for you”, “I thought you liked those.” so i ate and i did the same thing for my mother too i started eating the second plate to make my mom happy because i thought she would get sad when there was leftovers. Yes i ended up being the fay kid, being the one my mom says “Oh i thought you were just like me, when i was young i ate and i never gained weight i guess you’re like your aunt.” It hurts but i never confronted my mom about it because i knew i would start crying when i bring up my weight. So last year at summer i started throwing up after i ate. It was hard but not impossible, i saw blood coming out with food, sometimes just blood and a little bit of food. I stopped for a while and starved myself and i lost a noticible amount of weight, the jeans that won’t fit me last year started fitting, i could wear normal shirts, not the oversized ones, my face gets smaller than before and i feel more confident. Yet it didn’t stop my sister from insulting me. So around a month ago we went to my grandma’s house and her house was full i mean my aunt, her son, my mom, my dad, me, celine, my little sister, my little brother and my grandma was there and i had to share the room with celine and my aunt told me before i sleep “You lose a lot of weight, your face was puffy last year but now you look beautiful” and my uncle said “What did you do? Tell me so i’ll lose weight too.” I felt so happy but when we went to the room to sleep my sister immediately said “You didn’t even lost that amount of weight, they exaggerate.” and i feel lost again.
So my parents learned that i was throwing up after i ate, i first told my mom for four times but she ignored me, i swear that woman just kept her mouth shut and j was very shocked when she told my father about it and they scolded but guess what? They didn’t told a word to my sister. Now i’m preparing myself to starving again because i can’t keep up like that i’m doing exercises but throwing up works much faster.
I forgot to add before i lose weight Celine would buy crop tops and tells me “Oh why don’t you buy yourself one?, Try one of mines.” she knew i was insecure and i wouldn’t even wore a top that over my fucking lower belly, she would just mess with me and she enjoys that i swear.
I kinda need advice but the main reason why i’m sharing that is i need to get this out of my chest.
English is not my first language, sorry for the grammar mistakes and I’ll be very happy if i saw my story on tiktok because i want to send this to my parents but i don’t want them to find my reddit acc, when i send them video i want to be able to say “You guys don’t care but strangers care about your daughter. how weird.”

I (15 Female), My sister (13 Female) we will call her celine. So 3 years ago when my mom was at work, my father was at home and it was the last week of school so i didn’t go to school so did my sisters. I was on my period that morning and i didn’t want to eat anything and i was staying at my sisters room. That morning my father came to her room and asked if we’re hungry we said no but he told me “Don't eat, you're already like a jerry can.” To this day i never forget that and i never will. After my father said that to me at our every fight my sister called me “Fat, Pig, Obese” and etc. I cried every time, i starved myself but i gave up and ended up eating and i swear when she insulted me my mother didn’t do anything, i swear over my life, i swear over everything i have and will have she just sat there and didn’t say anything to my sister but every time she insulted me i opened my mouth to call her bitch but before i could finish my word my mother would scold me for calling that word to my sister “Do you even know what that means?”, “I’m calling your father and you’ll see after he gets home.” It was always like that. I cried to my mother about what she says and she just buries her faca in her phone or just tell me that she always warns my sister but i haven’t heard that. Obviously i never believed that sick lie, I wasn’t obese i was kinda overweight. It all started when they drop me at my grandmas house for a week or two. she would make food with butter but really much butter and when i said i was full and couldn’t eat more she would be like “Oh but i made them only for you”, “I thought you liked those.” so i ate and i did the same thing for my mother too i started eating the second plate to make my mom happy because i thought she would get sad when there was leftovers. Yes i ended up being the fay kid, being the one my mom says “Oh i thought you were just like me, when i was young i ate and i never gained weight i guess you’re like your aunt.” It hurts but i never confronted my mom about it because i knew i would start crying when i bring up my weight. So last year at summer i started throwing up after i ate. It was hard but not impossible, i saw blood coming out with food, sometimes just blood and a little bit of food. I stopped for a while and starved myself and i lost a noticible amount of weight, the jeans that won’t fit me last year started fitting, i could wear normal shirts, not the oversized ones, my face gets smaller than before and i feel more confident. Yet it didn’t stop my sister from insulting me. So around a month ago we went to my grandma’s house and her house was full i mean my aunt, her son, my mom, my dad, me, celine, my little sister, my little brother and my grandma was there and i had to share the room with celine and my aunt told me before i sleep “You lose a lot of weight, your face was puffy last year but now you look beautiful” and my uncle said “What did you do? Tell me so i’ll lose weight too.” I felt so happy but when we went to the room to sleep my sister immediately said “You didn’t even lost that amount of weight, they exaggerate.” and i feel lost again.
So my parents learned that i was throwing up after i ate, i first told my mom for four times but she ignored me, i swear that woman just kept her mouth shut and j was very shocked when she told my father about it and they scolded but guess what? They didn’t told a word to my sister. Now i’m preparing myself to starving again because i can’t keep up like that i’m doing exercises but throwing up works much faster.
I forgot to add before i lose weight Celine would buy crop tops and tells me “Oh why don’t you buy yourself one?, Try one of mines.” she knew i was insecure and i wouldn’t even wore a top that over my fucking lower belly, she would just mess with me and she enjoys that i swear.
I kinda need advice but the main reason why i’m sharing that is i need to get this out of my chest.
English is not my first language, sorry for the grammar mistakes and I’ll be very happy if i saw my story on tiktok because i want to send this to my parents but i don’t want them to find my reddit acc, when i send them video i want to be able to say “You guys don’t care but strangers care about your daughter. how weird.” Soo let me know if this post ends up being on a tiktok video.

Ive this friend, know him since school. A long time now. Hes aspergers, and very obviously so. Hes sluggish, very clumsy, and has this specific, slow voice tone that aspergers have. We used to hang out a lot, and he was the only friend I spent my break time with in school, we isolated ourselves in a corner and drew goofy comics. Funnily enough, he wasnt bullied, but I was. Different story though.
Anyways, nowadays we are still friends and still hang out but... Im finding it harder and harder to have a good time hanging with him. Hes just... sorry but he is slow, in all ways. Its hard to keep a mature conversation with the guy. And he is very naive and ideas get easily in his head, he uses a lot of this brainrot bullshit in his actual language, especially while texting, and it doesnt feel sarcastic most of the times. I dont wanna tell him any of this because Im pretty much the only... consistent? friend he has and it would wreck him. Hes already in a bad state of mind since his life is obviously harder than other people's, plus his family is pretty poor and his apartment is crowded (guy lives in a tiny apartment with his mom, brother and aunt. Not enough rooms for everyone, so no privacy). Recently I helped him get a job and I keep telling him that he needs to fix his self esteem issues which he refuses to acknowledge most of the times. But I think I do it more to convince myself that Im not an asshole for partly faking this friendship than out of altruism. I mean he is my friend, but I just cant spend normal time with him cause hes admitedly not normal. I cant mock him like I mock my other friends very often cause he would take it to heart, not as a joke. I cant go do sports with him or hiking or any of that cause hes sluggish and doesnt like doing anything physical out of fear or shame or whatever. I cant generally have serious convos with him cause he gets bored unless its about animals. Yknow how autism makes people fixate on one specific thing and be really good at it? Thats animals for this guy. Its not a bad thing, its just hard to speak with him sometimes cause it seems the only thing he can be interested in for extended periods of time is animals. I love animal talk, but not all the time, every time.
He keeps asking me to hang out and I do go out with him when I can, but I cant help to think "ugh, guess I gotta do it" whenever I recieve a text from him, and then I feel like an ass for it.
Hes also very gloomy and pessimistic. He says hes just joking but I know its not true. He "jokes" about how worthless he is all the time, but almost never about others. He compares himself to others, to myself, very often. "You can do this, but I cant. Youre good at this, but I suck. Girls at least talk to you". Etc. I keep telling him to drop all that emo bullshit or he will go into a spiral of depression, I tell him he needs to acknowledge hes insecure and work on fixing it. He always says "bro its just jokes Im not insecure". Ive known him for many years, and Im also very familiar with insecurity (I was very insecure and still am to some degree), so I KNOW Im right. And its harder every day to keep trying to stop him from insulting himself so much. Im no therapist yknow? I can help but I can also be drained from so much negativity.
Hes a great guy and I think he deserves some friend who apreciates his friendship as much as he apreciates mine. Cause damn, sometimes it feels like he idolizes me. And I hate it cause I cant reciprocate any of it. He deserves a friend who wont just hang out with him out of pity. I feel like shit for doing it but as I said, I know that if I didnt do it he would probably fall into depression. I try to help him, I do it to cope with the fact that I dont really wanna hang out with him, to feel better with myself. Not out of altruism. And its sad cause we used to hang out all the damn time. But it feels like Ive grown into a different person than I was, while he hasnt. Or maybe Im just making up excuses, maybe Im simply a bit of an asshole after all.

Recently, i suddenly remebered a conversation i'd had with one of my cousins (i think he's 21 now?) who got out of prison a while back. While we were chatting over the phone one day, the discussion on how out family is kinda messed up came up in conversation. He mention that while in prison, he and his cellmates would chat and occasionally talk of home life came up. Whenever he'd bring up his past life, his cellmates would be shocked and try to explain to him some of the stuff he was saying/happening at home was pretty f***ed up. (He never thought his mom was abusive but turns out she was a nightmare incarnate, wont go into details) Mind you, he only realized this IN PRISON, when he was finally away from her & was forced to look at things from a more outside perspective. Recently, i've begun to wonder, what things in my life are like that? How many others have had a similar epiphany? Naturally, i cant identify all the traits, but i've begun to suspect some. Am i overthinking it? am i just privelaged? or are things really not quite right?

1. My mom and I moved constantly, to the point we never stayed in one place longer than a year. This persisted until i was 15 and she couldn't afford to move due to rent raising in places.
   
2. Mom never really hugged me/ had an aversion to physical (and somewhat verbal) affection. This also persisted until i was 15-17 before she made a friend who was a hypnotherapist & helped her with some issues.
   
3. I frequently had to remind mom to praise me for things (say thank you) , as otherwise i wouldn't get the positive feedback 9.5 times out of 10.
   
4. I think i've been homeless at least 3 times growing up/ we were always hella broke.
   
5. I went to the dentist maybe 1-2 times a year. I've been to an optometrist maybe 1-2 times in my life.
   
6. Mom didn't care about my grades and never told me them before i was in fostercare. She would just ask "did you do your best?" and the answer to that question was more important than the letters/numbers on my report card. When i was in fostercare, grades were everything. I didn't know c was a passing grade until i was in college. (mom wasn't aware i had this misconception & i didn't mention it cuz i thought it was true)
   
7. (not mom this time shockingly) when i was 9, i often found myself trying to be 'responcible'. I took pride in being the 'responcible' one. There was a toddler in our neighborhood who would wander into the parkinglot on her own (even the street once or twice) & I would go over and kinda babysit her in the front yard or bring her back to my house until her mom noticed she was gone. I thought this was just expected, since i was older & sometimes people are just forgetful. Nobody is perfect after all.
   
8. I was a 'tattletail'/ teacher's pet & Being ostrasized and put down by others was a normal thing, i just had really thin skin.
   
9. When i was 10-12, I was often home alone all day when mom would work. We lived in a trailer park at the time.
   
10. This one i'm just kind of annoyed about still. Mom has that thing where if you see puke, you start to gag/puke too. So, since i could remember, i was always the one to clean up whenever one of our pets threw up. She once called me out of the shower to come take care of it.
    
11. Me and the older kids were expected to look after the younger ones so the adults could have a break/talk.
    
12. mom never went about seeing someone till after i was in college.
    
13. each time my aunt & little cousins moved in with us, i had to vacate my room so they could move in. after mom eventually got custody over the 2, & i was in college, i never got my room back and was essentially homeless/couch surfing when i wasnt in a dorm.
    
14. You shouldnt bother people with your problems when they're dealing with their own stuff.
    
15. If i was going to cry/meltdown, i should leave the room/ get away from people first.
    

Those normal or not really? any similar stories/ misconceptions/preconceptions?
Edit: oh yea, forgot a couple improtant ones "Adults need to deal with shit on their own/ adults don't ask for help, when you get older you just get strong enough to deal with stuff" "Always think of/prioritize others first." "struggling with and failing to do things was just making excuses/not trying hard enough

My parents don't speak Circassian and I don't have anyone to practice with, Do you think I can learn it? Haha. Also I don't know Cyrillic alphabet so sources here didn't helped much haha. Any tips? My moms aunt speaks Circassian but we don't get to see each other much. Also she is old and mixing it with Turkish I think :[ need help haha.

Assalamu Alaikum,
I'm feeling quite heartbroken and could use some advice and support, prayers. I was talking to a brother, and things seemed to be going well. We discussed various aspects of our future together, including religious practices and family values. He would often talk about our future, which made me hopeful and excited. However, after not hearing from him for a day, I was suddenly hit with a message saying we are not compatible and that it's not his fault for wanting someone who comes from a fully Muslim household.
He mentioned my Christian mother as a negative, despite me being a practicing Muslim (I was born Muslim) and striving daily to get closer to the deen. My dad is Muslim, and my parents are still married. I grew up primarily with my dad's side of the family and was raised with strong Islamic values. My mom, although Christian, pushed me to learn how to read the Quran and to understand its meaning, and she raised me to be Muslim. On top of that, I have aunts who are devout Muslim women and all wear hijab..... So him saying I have no Muslim role models is hurtful and false. The thing I agree only with is me traveling alone which I think was really the main factor but I had said if we were married I wouldn't travel alone without a mahram id obliged to the Hadith. This is the first and only time I'm traveling alone.
I pray all five prayers and Tahajjud, and I'm committed to living according to Islamic principles. I even agreed with him about the dangers of the West trying to modernize Islam and expressed my desire to adhere to traditional Islamic roles as a wife. I'm well-educated and career-oriented, but my ultimate goals are marriage and motherhood.
Despite my efforts to explain my commitment to our faith and my willingness to grow, it seems like his mind was made up. I had even told my parents about him, and they were willing to meet him and his family. I feel like I'm being penalized for having a Christian mother and for growing up in the West.
I'm struggling to cope with this sudden change and the hurt it has caused. I really liked him and even saw a future with him. Any advice on how to move forward or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I really do want to get married and complete half my deen😞😩 but I feel being highly educated and having a career before marriage and my age is frowned upon.
JazakAllah Khair.

A few years ago my parents moved into my home (in a private in-law suite) when maintaining their own home became too difficult. They had excuses such as harsh winters in their home state, their advanced age combined with mild medical issues, cost of living, etc. In reality my parents just wanted to enjoy their golden years closer to me and their grandchildren.
My father died last Monday. He was hospitalized 3 weeks prior, had major surgery, and then was released into my mom’s & my care the week after surgery. He was doing so well. He had been home for a week, was up moving around, eating well, doing all recommended exercises, taking all his medications and all his readings (PR, BP, O2) were excellent. The Dr’s and home health nurse said his ongoing symptoms (mostly pain, bruising, and mild weeping at incision) were normal for the type of surgery he had. Then he died in his sleep Monday morning.
My entire family is devastated but I am inconsolable in my grief and overwhelmed with guilt. I keep thinking there were signs I ignored regardless of what the health professionals said. I promised my dad I’d take care of him. I promised him everything would be okay. I told him not to be scared everything would be alright… but it wasn’t.
In my mind my daddy wasn’t anything other than invincible. He was so active, normally healthy, and had such a zest for life everyone who knew him thought he’d outlive his children. Even knowing how serious his surgery was no one ever thought anything other than he’d be better than ever after he completely healed. We joked he was “the (real) six million dollar man.” Now I’m faced with the reality of his sudden death.
My dad has always been a ray of sun on my gloomier days. I’ve lost my sunshine.
I have suffered from depression my entire life. I have bouts of extreme lows but recognize them for what they are and manage them. I have an excellent support system through family & friends, therapy, a great primary care physician, and an antidepressant regimen.
I am embarrassed to admit that right now I’m incapable of being a supportive & loving:
-daughter (to my mom who just lost her spouse and best friend of over 50 years)
-mother (to my children who are grieving a grandfather that gave Disney characters a run for their money)
-spouse (he was extremely close with my father and has recently lost his own father)
-sister and aunt (to my sibling and his family who are all grieving the loss just as much as the rest of us)
I am incapable of talking to people without crying. I can’t sleep longer than 45 minutes. I am paranoid I will lose my mom, literally checking on her while she’s asleep. I sob uncontrollably throughout the day without a recognizable trigger. I become hyper fixated then just as quickly become lethargic. My grief is starting to manifest in physical pain. I’m starting to have panic attacks. I have to force myself to eat then feel nauseous for hours.
How do people get through this grief? My usual coping mechanisms do not work. Honestly, I can’t focus enough to utilize any coping mechanism. I am spiraling.

(Sorry about all the initials, I'll put a list as to who is who at the end of the post.)
I(16f) have four aunts, and all of which have told me they have favorites when it comes to me and my four siblings. I noticed pretty early on that my aunts all treat their nieces and nephews differently, and asked them right out if they had favorites. They all confirmed it. (I was 13-14 then, so this was a while ago.) I had asked them who their favorites were, and here were their answers. Li(30f) chose G[oldest boy(15m)], Candy(26f) chose A[Middle child(13m)], Meg(22f) chose G(which wasn't a surprise, she's always favoured him, ever since we were kids.), and No(19f) chose both W(6m) and S(3f).
Due to how much time it has been since this conversation, I thought the favoritism had died.... Boy, was I wrong.
This past Mother's Day, my aunts decided on hosting a day of which we go to a different aunts house and help out. It was my GJ(grandmother's) turn. Both Sel and I had been the only siblings that had tagged along with Mom, leaving the boys with Dad.
When I walked in, the only one that had actually said hi to me was my younger, spoiled cousin, Eve(10f). Nobody said hi, and avoided conversation with both my mother and I. I was fine with it for a while until I got annoyed, and pulled Meg outside, forcing her to acknowledge that I was there, not her precious G (I made a previous post on G, we do not get along.) which was all she spoke about. Why G wasn't there, where he was at, why he didn't come. Eventually, she told me she had to go but would be back out to speak to me... Only to have her completely ditch me. I was fed up with it all, and shut myself off, working with everyone else, but ignoring all the drama revolving around my aunts. I did what I was supposed to, but without the effort of conversation. I was ready to leave after an hour of staying, but Mom had us there for a good four and a half hours.
I was pretty pissed I had wasted my time on a day dedicated to mothers, but hadn't been able to celebrate my own mother, had been blatantly ignored, and had been asked about G. I was more than ready to go home after that. There are three birthdays this month (my aunts have not attended any birthday of mine since I was 13 and I do not intend on inviting them for my 17th birthday which is later this year), which are A's birthday, W's birthday, and S's birthday. I do not want them there, and Mom knows how I feel on the matter. Li and I have had arguments in the past when she tried forcing me into a religion when I was nine, and I told her to leave me alone and screw off. We have never gotten along so I completely expected her to say that I was not a favorite, but I was hurt when everyone had a favorite, and completely rubbed it in my face on Mother's Day. Am I the asshole for not wanting anything to do with them?
On the grandmother's note, the two youngest are from this marriage, while G, A, and I are from a previous marriage. My Mimi has displayed that she clearly favors the youngest two, from giving them constant gifts and candy, to outright denying my brothers the same thing. She's been badmouthing A and I about each other, and we have been sick of it. Dad knows and has confronted her on it, only to deny it, but we see it. We know she favors them, but I hold no resentment towards my youngest siblings, just towards the people choosing favorites.
Family Members mentioned (age ranged!) GJo(Grandmother) Mimi(Grandmother) Mom Li(30f) Candy(26f) Meg(22f) No(19f)
Siblings: Me(16f) G(15m) A(13m) W(6m) S(3f)

Hello everyone. I am writing here because I am experiencing symptoms that might be related to TN. I am experiencing a very strange feeling in my right cheeck, it feels somewhat numb. It start at the beginning of May when i got a a tooth filling. Now I don't really know if it's only the dental procedure that started this or sitting in draught at work had some role in this too. First I taught it was only the draught, since here in Balkans where I live, people are more afraid of draught than any other illness's. I started taking muscle relaxation meds, and anti imflamatory meds like ibuprofen, the pain went away for a couple of hours and then came back. I started taking vitamin b complex and I feel better now. But, I am a coffee lover and feel that whenever I drink coffee, it triggers the trigeminal nerve and all that feeling comes back. Now, I have spoken to my aunt who is a physician and she told me that she'll bring me some antibiotics and she mentioned that it could be an inflammation of the trigeminal nerve. Btw I feel very scared because I am a single mom of a one year old, and I am afraid of how this can change my life.

This is kind of long, I'm (m38) my mother (f65) had always been close, until I met my gf(f41). Three years ago, My gf and I were redoing our dock home on the water in florida. My mother, when I was younger, always talked about doing RE together. The first time my mother and gf FaceTimed (mom lives on the west coast) my mother insulted her, by saying, she was using me for free construction work ( my gf had hired plenty of contractors to do the work ) I was doing the easy stuff, painting, dry wall repair, demo the kitchen, etc. And my gf and I were really enjoying the work together. We were young into the relationship, and we were finding out if we were compatible... it wasn't work to us, it was fun. We ended up selling the house together, we did VERY well, we ended up buying a house in the beaches area of Jacksonville where she wanted to go, we currently reside here. My mother, a nurse, over the last 20 years, has always had a friend who has cancer, the first was a close friend from Florida- but as her cancer got worse, my mother was closer and closer to her. When she died, the cringiest experience of my life, was the next day my mother asked me to go to the bank with her, she walked into the bank, and gave an account number to the bank manager, apparently the friend said she would have access to a checking account. I remember the bank manager telling my mother, she was not on the account and she had no access to it. I remember my mother was pleading to the guy- she's my best friend, she told me to come to the bank, etc.... that's the first time I looked at my mother differently. The lady died less than 24 hours ago. Fast forward my gf and I moved to Jacksonville ( a lot of hospitals ) my mother has another friend with cancer, and starts flying across country to be with her, now "bf" and she takes her to Jacksonville, my gf and I didn't find out she was driving up to Jacksonville a few times a year until she had done so for probably already a year or so. The hospital is less than 5 miles from our house. One time my mother is in the town my family lives visiting and decided she was going to come up and visit us, july 4th weekend. My gf who is very organized texts my mother and gives her a detailed plan of what we are going to do, which included riding our golf cart to the beach, grilling out at her parents house, having some drinks, watching fireworks, she invited my mother to stay in our guest room. My mother responded back, "I will handle plans with my son, thank you" my gf didn't respond. My gfs sister, BiL, niece, friends, and my gfs mother go to the beach, her mother specifically went to the beach to meet my mother, my gf father went to the store to buy to hotdogs and hamburgers in anticipation my mother was coming to town. My mother was driving up to Jax, I take my gf and the beach chairs to the beach.... that's about the time my mother pulls up to the house... I get a phone call, my mother is irate, and says she is leaving since no one was at the house when she arrived. And she leaves this little card, something to do with a mother and son's relationship on our door sill. I get back to the house my mother is pissing vinegar. I tell my mother, that I took my gf to the beach, and her family is there. My mother fires back, I should've been there waiting she flew across the country to come to an empty house ( not the case ). I told my mother, that her family, is at the beach waiting to meet her, her father is at the store buying skyline chili for her ( we are originally from Cincinnati ) and she needs to realize all these people are doing things for her arrival. She stopped talking, you could tell she felt like an ass. She immediately tells me she doesn't have a swimsuit - she knew we were going to the beach, she was in an outfit you should never wear to the beach. We get to the beach, she has this attitude and although my gfs mother is being friendly, she has these snarky one word answers. We go to the house for the cook out my mother starts talking about the money we had when my parents were still married..my gfs family wasn't having any of this, you could cut the tension with a knife... after we eat, my mother makes a statement that now she needs to leave to get back to Daytona immediately. She leaves, and then it turned into a great day. Fast forward to the beginning of this year, my mother and I hardly talk. She has gone off on my gf a few times, at this point my gf doesn't hold back, and refuses to talk to her, especially after my mother made a comment about her weight. In the beginning of the year, I told my mother I would paint the house she bought 90 miles away from Jacksonville, since I owed her some money, the walls turned into the ceiling, the ceiling turned into ceiling fan installation, that turned into refinishing floors, that turned into moving some walls. What started as a week worth of work, turned into about 2 months, I may have been in jax 3 nights in 2 months. My gf and I had a family party and my gf said, if I didn't come up, it would be a problem as at this point her family was starting to ask why I wasn't around... I went to the party, I told my mother, I was going- that's when an emergency came up at the house and I needed to be there, I obliged. Two weeks later, things were okay between my mom and I, and one night we were talking, and she venmos me 2k for the work, while we were on the phone. It was a pleasant surprise until I told h er we had a wedding this coming weekend, it was non- negotiable I was to be there. I told my mother, I was going to be gone that entire weekend. She insisted that she gave me money and to quote, if I'm going to take that money and be footloose and fancy free on her dime, give me the money back- I immediately venmoed her money back and said Do not think I'll be at you house, I will not be there until Monday, I am leaving Friday, wedding on Saturday night. That saturday, My mother texts me and says, I need help, furniture is be delivered on Sunday at 8am. I went to the wedding, didn't drink, had fun, went home at midnight, left my house at 6am only to get to mom's house to find out furniture got delayed won't be delivered until 4pm later today. My mother decided that she was going to show up that following week, since the contractor I found, she could work with directly while working her job remotely. Now my debt was paid, I found this contractor, who my mother loved, she hasn't paid me, requested the money she gave me I give back since I went to a wedding with my gf. My mother tells me that the contractor I found, is willing to pay me to help her do work- I'm furious, so my mother is paying a lady, who is going to make money off me for working for her. Sidebar, I found this contractor who had done work for other clients of mine and her work is good, but she doesn't know her capabilities, but oh well, mom is running the show. I tell my mother absolutely not, will the contractor I found, she hired, pay me an hourly rate, that my mother is paying, that she is going to make money off of. My mother claimed, that my money was going to be made, when I sold the house and I would get the listing- I have my real estate license. I'm about done with my mother and her non sense at this point and I'm seeing right through it. As my mother was staying in the house, I didn't want her to be alone, so I would stay with her at night. Both my mother and I are big drinkers, and my sister is in recovery ( who lives with my father and doesnt come around at night because she knows wed be drinking ), so while i have beer in the fridge, my mother is staunchly not drinking and making a big deal about how she doesn't drink, and all I want to do is drink... at this point I'm letting it pile on. Until the straw that broke the camels back, one morning back in March- its around 7am, I drank 12 beers the night before, I'm awake, laying in my bed watching YouTube videos...as I just woke up, my mother knocks on my door and says we need to have a discussion. We go outside and she says do I think it's fair that she is outside doing yard work while I am laying in bed watching TV. I said, yes, it's 7am and there is no reason she should be doing yard work, unless she is looking to fight. She fires back and says, you are living in my house and haven't done a fucking thing.... I stood up and said I AM DONE, I will never step foot in this house, she gets up an walks away, and I yell go call whoever the fuck you need to call and tell them what a piece of shit I am- i have literally walked in on her talking to my aunt saying I shitty person, and wonders why I wont go around her family ( my aunts and uncles ). I go in to the house get my air mattress and what little clothes I had there and left. Now, there was a remote to one of her fans in my car, I grabbed it and put it on the tool bench in th garage, and it fell as I'm walking out...she says- did you really throw that into the garage. I said no, which that's not my personality anyways I wouldn't do that. She says this dramatic "best of luck to you" and I get in the car and leave. I sent her a card for mother's day, but I haven't spoke to her since, and I don't plan too. She fired the contractor, of course is blaming me for the fact that she is completely underwater in this house. And now when she talks to my sister she says I'm out of her will and I am a terrible person, etc.... AITA For wanting nothing to do with her, and happy with her not in my life?

At a wedding last night with MIL, husband’s aunt, an aunt through marriage and me at a table. I was sitting to the left of Aunt though marriage. MIL was to her right.
Someone was taking a picture with a phone. Aunt tried to pull me in and MIL says “no get her otta here….” And made a face at me. That stung a lot and was really embarrassing.
Aunt goes wow… I told my husband “your mom wouldn’t let me in the picture.” He said “I’m gonna talk to her about this stuff”

Sunday, May 26 - Saturday, June 01, 2024

Art

score	comments	title & link
1,150	155 comments	[Art/Creative] Blessed Pride to Queer Theists ♥
431	42 comments	[Art/Creative] Thoughts
171	12 comments	[Art/Creative] Happy pride month everyone!!!
157	8 comments	[Art/Creative] Happy Pride Month! (OC)
150	6 comments	[Art/Creative] this is me :3 if you even care _^

 

Memes

score	comments	title & link
4,495	113 comments	[Meme] Don’t stop at the title
1,257	93 comments	[Meme] Rainbow capitalism
1,254	60 comments	[Meme] Lgbt-alian
1,234	36 comments	[Meme] Happy Pride remembering some good representation in the Marvel & DC✨ world
1,192	27 comments	[Meme] I found these tumblers in my aunt's house I'm assuming they thought they were his and hers.

 

Politics / News

score	comments	title & link
2,343	106 comments	[Politics] Finally some good news
1,220	218 comments	[News] Harrison Butker breaks silence on his speech controversy
790	14 comments	[News] It's now illegal for Minnesota libraries to ban LGBTQ+ books under this new law
573	100 comments	[Politics] The whole fear that people get indoctrinated into being LGBTQ is 100% imaginary and I have yet to see any legitimate evidence of children being conditioned to be LGBTQ. Why do people insist on believing this lie?
464	185 comments	[News] To our christian/catholic siblings: why do you choose to stay there?

 

Advice

score	comments	title & link
2,260	454 comments	[Need Advice :snoo_thoughtful:] cant use “cis” anymore?
1,727	175 comments	[Need Advice :snoo_thoughtful:] my mom wants me to shave my legs.
1,584	362 comments	[Need Advice :snoo_thoughtful:] Gender neutral alternatives for “good girl”
979	74 comments	[Need Advice :snoo_thoughtful:] I found this flag in my house but dont recognize it
529	121 comments	[Need Advice :snoo_thoughtful:] Is my (ftm) tattoo too feminine?

 

Coming out

score	comments	title & link
398	36 comments	[:usrrainbowupvote: Coming Out!] Mini dresses make my legs go🥵
71	20 comments	[:usrrainbowupvote: Coming Out!] A message for everyone
37	8 comments	[:usrrainbowupvote: Coming Out!] Damn near 40 years on this planet, I still don't know WTF I am and I have given up, it's OK if you don't either.
33	36 comments	[:usrrainbowupvote: Coming Out!] I think I'm gay
12	3 comments	[:usrrainbowupvote: Coming Out!] UPDATE I'm telling my mom i'm pansexual!!

 

Other Posts

score	comments	title & link
4,024	121 comments	[Community Only] Another year of teaching as an openly trans teacher under my belt 😎
3,906	339 comments	I noticed in mainstream cartoons that there are plenty WLW couples, but there are few MLM couples. Can anyine explain why? And does it have to do with censorship and society in their opinions on MLM?
3,747	315 comments	I’m proud to be “frociaginne” in reply to Pope using Italian slur word
3,624	216 comments	On a scale of 1/10 how much is this accurate 🤣🤣
3,240	252 comments	Christian group launches petition against ‘ugly’ and ‘divisive’ Pride flags in London
2,772	56 comments	“Transvestigating” hurts everyone, not just cisgender people !!
2,690	99 comments	[Community Only] Had to decline a job because of their transphobia
2,648	166 comments	[Community Only] Donald Trump was just convicted on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records.
2,601	53 comments	Florida won't light bridges in rainbow colors. So Jacksonville's LGBTQ community did.
2,548	923 comments	How does everyone feel about LGB without the T people?

 

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3,758	Commander_Merp said Discourse from Musk on his personal echo chamber, X, attempted to convince people that cis is a slur. It’s not, they’re snowflakes. If someone is saying not to use cis they are either: A: Woefully un...
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I (female 28) and fiance (male 30) have been dating for three years engaged for one year. We are both from the Caribbean. My fiance has a very small family. It is just him his mum and his little brother. I have a great relationship with his brother however, building a relationship with his mother has been very difficult. My fiance’s mom is a very judgemental person but that is just her as a character from the first day I met her the first words that came out of her mouth was “oh my God you are really pretty is that outfit from Primark but you look really nice”.
She has often made passive aggressive comments about the way I dress the way I look and my weight. when I came back from holiday with my family. The first comment she made when she saw me after three weeks away in sunny Jamaica and Miami, was “oh my God, you’ve put on so much weight you look much bigger”. This isn’t the first time she would make comments like that about my weight or how I dress. I would also like to point out that my fiance‘s mum has a very high-quality taste when it comes to fashion she would often buy and wear a lot of designer clothes such as Louis Vuitton,Gucci, Chanel and many more brands.
I have bought this up to my fiance saying how I feel disrespected by the comments his mum has made about me how I dress and my appearance he does bring it to his mum and defends me but she just says I didn’t mean it like that. I love her. I love how she dresses and it would just get dropped very quickly. I have also brought up to my fiancé that there are times when I come to the house and I say hello to her and she ignores me and there’s times that I’ve gone to give her a hug and she backs away or doesn’t return the hug. therefore I decided she must be somebody that doesn’t like hugs so I just say hello to her even if she doesn’t say hello back. However, my fiance Mum said to my fiance that she finds me rude because I don’t give her a hug when I see her and I explained to my fiance that I always do.
But fast forward to present I am now planning for the wedding. My fiance Mum has had a lot of opinions on my wedding. I want to just add that my mum and dad are not very fond of my fiance’s mum as she has also made passive aggressive comments around them.
For example I threw a surprise party for my fiance for his 30th birthday his mother didn’t want to be involved in the party planning as she said she wasn’t sure if her son would want a surprise party because he’s not that type to like parties. I know my fiance and he would love something like that and he did love it as he stated that was the best birthday celebration he has ever had. His mother wasn’t very happy with that comment. But whilst she was at the surprise party that was at my house this was the first time my parents were meeting my fiance Mum and brother. my mum was about to serve the food at the party and coming from a Caribbean household we always have lots of food when having parties and we usually give people paper plates to eat their food from , as we were catering for about 30 people at the party. The first thing my fiance Mum said to me was “ I need a proper plate and a proper knife and fork. I am not degrading myself by eating on a paper plate” Other people were around and they just gave a weird look. But I just brushed off the comment and said to my fiance Mum I’ll be happy to get you a plate and a knife and fork. She then followed me into the kitchen. I then said to my mum, can she grab a plate for me? My mum being the sweet person she is went to get my fiance‘s mum one of our nicer plates from our China set. My fiance Mum then turned to me and said “ what your mum doesn’t have any clean plates in the kitchen?” my fiance‘s mum would often make rude comments like this to me however she didn’t realise my auntie was also in the kitchen at the time and my auntie turned to her and said “she’s getting the plate for you now why don’t you just wait” My fiance‘s mum looked shocked as she wasn’t expecting my aunt to be in the kitchen. My fiance‘s mum, quickly tried to mask it by saying “oh I was just joking thank you so much for getting me the plate.”
From this encounter that my family have had with my fiance’s mum and the overall rude comments that she makes about me my family are not very fond of her and how she talks and addresses people overall it can come across belittling and rude. My fiance Mum always backs herself up by saying it’s a Caribbean thing we just talk like that. However, I am from the Caribbean and so is my family and we do not speak to people like that we talk to everybody with respect especially when we are in other peoples homes.
A couple months after that My mum and dad then decided to throw me and my fiance an engagement party at our house. My mum and dad warned majority of my family of my fiance’s mums behaviour as coming from a Jamaican background a lot of my family take disrespectful comments very personally . They already find my fiance Mum to be rude and my parents had to speak to a lot of them before the party just to ask them to not react when my fiance‘s mum says something disrespectful as they wanted the engagement party to be something positive for my fiancé and I. However that didn’t stop my fiance’s mum for being disrespectful to nearly all of my family members and friends but other than that we had a great time at the party. Fast forward to the day after the engagement party my fiance and I were opening cards from our family and friends. A large proportion of the party was my family as I said before my fiance has a small size family. as we were opening the cards there was large sum of cash in a lot of the cards in total we had a little bit over £600 from all the cards.
The plan was to open a bank account and store the money in there to go towards any other wedding funds. as we were opening the cards my fiance’s mum called my fiance and said to him make sure you bring back the cards and the money .
I found this comment to be weird and I asked my fiance why did your mum ask for the money? He said I’m not sure. Maybe two days after the engagement party, my fiance had called me and said the engagement money has gone. I then said to my fiance wtf where is are money? Did you miss place it? He said no my mum went into my room and took our money as she said she needed it urgently. I was absolutely livid. I couldn’t believe that she went through my fiance’s room looking for the money and stole it.
I was so mad at my fiance for not saying anything to his mother I had to then call her and tell her put the money right back. She tried to argue with me telling me she needed the money urgently and it was a family emergency. She needed to send money to someone in the Caribbean. This caused a huge problem between me and my fiance and I told him he needs to stand up for us or else I will do it then spoke to his mum about the money and she gave it back. When I sat down with her and spoke to her about how upset I was over the fact that she took the money, she said to me you are clearly not someone who is not family orientated I don’t care what money I have or where it’s comes from if my family needed it I will give them the money if I go to my sons room and I see £20 sitting on his desk if I want it, I will just take it and now I know if I was laying dead on the street I wouldn’t call you for a pound cos I know what you are like with money.
I cannot believe that this woman turned it on me making it seem like I was crazy for being upset with her for stealing our engagement money. I had enough of this and I said to my fiance if he doesn’t start sticking up for me and our relationship I don’t see a future.
My fiance was very apologetic and said that he will start sticking up for us as he knows this is wrong but He said his mom has been taking money off of him and his little brother from when they were children any birthdays money, big events or any money he would get from family his mum would just take it so he was so used to his mum taking money from him that he didn’t see a problem with it. I have made sure that moving forward with this wedding that all financial costs are done by me and my side of the family.
my mum has stated that she does not want my fiance ‘s mum involved in any of the wedding planning as she’s very judgemental and rude and does not trust her with money as she’s afraid that if we ask her to book something that she would take the money and use it for herself.
My fiance‘s mum has been very vocal about the wedding she has said I want this wedding at my Catholic Church or I won’t be happy . I am born again Christian I have a church that I have been going to since I was born. My pastor has known me from birth and has been an active person in my life and has always been there for important mild stone in my life. I have always told my fiance that I want my Pastor to do the ceremony. My fiance agreed and said he wants the wedding wherever I want the wedding as he couldn’t care less whether it was in a catholic Church or a normal church.
My fiance and I picked this beautiful Riverside garden club venue for the wedding that we decided we were gonna have the ceremony there as well as the reception. My fiance’s mum was not happy about this and said that if it’s not at her Catholic Church, she is not gonna come and I should convert to Catholic religion.
I said I would absolutely not be converting and this is the decision that we have made as a couple and if she doesn’t want to come that’s on here. My fiance spoke to his mum and said to her she needs to start respecting our decision and she then apologised and said I just want this for you as it’s important to get married in a church, especially as a catholic but I respect your wishes. Which I know was bullshit. She only said this because my fiance was visibly upset with her and was cold to her for a little while. Because she is so negative about the wedding I do not involve her whatsoever in anything to do with the planning.
I just recently had a long conversation with my fiance and I expressed my feelings about his mother and I decided for my own mental health and from speaking to family, friends and speaking to a pastor about this as it’s gotten so serious it has made me feel so depressed at times as I really love my fiance and if it wasn’t for his mum, our relationship would be so perfect as we literally have no issues. Anything we argue about is always to do with his mother. So I expressed to my fiance that I do not want to have a relationship with his mother until I see some change in the way she treats me. As she is so judgemental and doesn’t respect boundaries. I do not feel safe to have a relationship with her.
She has asked my fiance if I would like to go out to dinner and overall meet up with her more often just her and I. I told my fiance I would absolutely not be meeting up with this mother on my own any encounters I have with this woman I want my fiance to be there as I do not trust her. My fiance Said he is fine about me not having a relationship with his mother however I can tell from his facial expressions that he really wants me to try and have a relationship with her.
So am I the arsehole for not wanting a relationship with my fiance Mum?

Seems like the more I find out, the less I know. I kept telling my young twenty-something nephew (we are researching his late mom's family, specifically her dad born in Poland/Russia, served in the U.S. military WWII) that we have to plan to go to the archives in person because it will take a year to hear back from NARA. But even as I am repeating these wise words to him on the phone he gets a response from NARA on the request he submitted a week ago!
So, other than an elderly-ish aunt losing a little face, that was good news. But I'm confused. Was NARA so quick to respond because there was so little information to give, or did we just somehow hit the jackpot in hearing back within one week, or was the request my nephew made so narrowly crafted that NARA really just had only one place to look? Their cover letter was a pastiche of actual information you could take to the bank and what could be read as cya bureaucratese.
Anyways, what they did send was his "Final Pay Voucher" (which contained an AMAZING amount of information). They said that if they'd had other records on file for him, these were likely lost in the July 12, 1973 fire. They said they could reconstruct a lot of information from other documents, but could not reconstruct the original records themselves. Because of the fire, they said they did not have his DD214/Separation Document.
Not complaining about what we did get. The Final Pay Voucher gave us tons of information we did not have. We learned how long he had been overseas (almost 3 years). We learned that his "original organization" had been the "820th Engr Bn Avn" which we figured out 820th Engineering Battalion, Aviation, and which matched with the info we'd already found online (from Fold3 free weekend) and with also the family story about him being in the U.K. and "gliders" as well, or at least that he was associated in some way with aviation. It also matched the information we'd found from Fold3 (only transcriptions, no original records) that he had been wounded (which was news to us) because it showed he was discharged (honorably) from the AAF Convalescent Hospital in Plattsburgh, NY. Learning that it was an honorable discharge put to rest (I think) the speculation that he had shot himself in the foot.
But still we are left with so many questions! For example, why was part of his "medical diagnosis" in the Fold3 abstract we found "omitted by NARA"? And I don't know how carefully we should try to parse the language in the NARA cover letter in trying to figure out if there's anything else we could find if we went in person. They hedged some statements, made super-generalizations in others, and only outright stated they didn't have his DD214/Separation Document (whatever that is).
I also don't know where Fold3 got the information it had. None was an original record. They were abstracts, or indexes maybe you call them, transcriptions of other records. Where did they get that info, if not from NARA? I suppose we'll just have to go and find out, but now it looks like we won't be doing that before late fall. Just getting some questions out of my system here. And also giving the news that sometimes it doesn't take a year!!