Where can i watch taboo charming mother on ipod

The room was quiet.
No one said a word.
I looked around at their grim faces, and decided to break the silence. "Ares?" I asked. "As in... the god of war?"
"The very one," Apollo acknowledged. "We are doomed."
"Well, actually," Artemis said from the doorway. "He is... just sort of walking around."
Athena lifted her eyebrows, "What? Explain, Sister."
"I do not know how to further explain," said Artemis, adopting a pained expression. "He is not tearing this lodge to shreds as he would if..."
"... If he knew we were here," Athena finished her sentence. "Do you think he hasn't detected us?"
"Impossible," Hephaestus huffed.
"I agree with Hephaestus," Apollo said, leering at the windows on the north side of the room. "Ares can detect us almost anywhere on Olympus. Certainly he can feel us from the other side of this wall, no?"
"Out there?" I asked, gesturing toward the north wall.
Artemis nodded gravely. "Yes. He must be preparing something."
I started toward the window when Apollo jumped in front of me. "Excuse me, are you mad?"
"He wouldn't recognize me," I said, scooting past him. He lifted a hand as if to stop me, but simply looked to Athena for help.
She tilted her head and shrugged, "He has a point. We're all finished anyway. What could it hurt?"
I stood at the window and peered out at the people gathered around the fountain. There was a taller than average man in gleaming golden armor standing among them. His donned a crimson cape that blew in the breeze— he was a magnificent sight to behold. It was as though his very being was shimmering-shiny.
"He's... asking people questions," I narrated. "He's the guy in the golden armor right?"
"Yes," came Artemis's voice next to me. "If he is speaking, I may be able to hear him if I sharpen my focus. I am good at this. Everyone, please remain quiet." She knelt down, closed her eyes, and pressed her ear against the wall.
I watched him speak to people and occasionally point to the sky. Everyone around him seemed taken by his fancy appearance, but they were all shoulders; they had no idea what he was on about.
"None of you?" asked Artemis. "None of you saw a group of people come from the sky?" She spoke slowly as she listened. "I sensed them here in this town when I arrived. Now they have disappeared. Have you done something?"
"I don't believe it," Hephaestus spoke, a spark of hope in his heart. "He cannot sense us. But how?"
"Perhaps this lodge is magical," Apollo said, a small smile appearing on his face. "What luck! What unbelievable luck!"
I couldn't help but smile at our good fortune as I watched them breathe sighs of relief. My gaze stopped on Athena however, as she was staring at me with narrowed eyes as though deep in thought.
"It is... possible that I was mistaken," Artemis spoke. "But I could have sword upon my steel that I sensed all of them this way." She looked up at me and smiled. "Buck, he is leaving!"
I watched through the window as the god turned and heaved a frustrated sigh. He looked up at the sky before leaping up and out of view. The people by the fountain gasped so hard I could hear it through the walls of the lodge.
"He's gone!" I exclaimed. "He took off!" I turned to find Athena right next to me and my back hit the wall. Her eyes were inches from mine. "Oh- uhh- hey, Athena," I said nervously, sidling away from her. "You, uhh... You good?"
"What is it?" asked Artemis as she stood up. "What do you sense in Buck?"
The others gathered near the window caging me in as Athena stared into my soul. I swallowed and glanced around. "What?"
"Nothing," Athena smiled.
"Nothing?"
"I sense... nothing." she clarified.
"Now that you mention it," Apollo leaned in. "I too sense no aura from the new god."
"Hm," Hephaestus scratched his temple. "You know... I cannot sense him either. Not even a little of him."
"Can't sense me?" I asked. "I don't know, you're all looking awfully hard at me."
"You have no aura," Athena clarified. "Every god and goddess has an aura without exception," she explained.
"To put it to you in terms you will better understand," said Apollo. "Think of when you go to visit someone you know at their house. Their house has a distinct smell, no?"
"Yeah," I nodded cautiously. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Not always like a bad smell, but a scent."
"Now imagine," Artemis chimed in. "That you can smell that person's home-smell when they are close."
"Within a mile," Athena added. "We can sense others of our kind in such a way. Some can sense it stronger than others."
"... And you're saying I don't have one?" I asked. "Like at all?"
"Perhaps because he was first human," Hephaestus offered.
"No," Apollo smiled, looking at Athena.
"We're on the same page, Apollo," Athena smiled back.
"Hm?" Artemis placed her hands on her hips. "If you have figured something out, please share it."
"I believe," said Athena, pointing playfully at me. "That our friend here is camoflauge, so to speak."
"A god of isolation," Apollo said in wonderment. "If he does not wish to be found..."
"My word," Hephaestus smiled. "If that is truly a power of yours... I am jealous."
"You think I'm hiding your auras?" I asked, a half-smile on my face. "Seriously?"
"Seriously," Athena answered with a relieved sigh. "I believe merely being close to you erases our presence from those that seek us."
I looked down at my own hands and tightened them into fists. It was amazing. I was emitting godlike powers without even trying. It was just a part of who I was now. What luck that I was lonely enough in life to assert a domain that could hide me in plain sight from those that would wish me harm. I was so happy to be useful I couldn't even form it into words.
"We should run further still," Artemis cut in. "I am a piece of Father, and if I know him, he will still not give up the search. Unable to sense our auras, he will still search high and low with his eyes and ears. He will follow our trail."
"Agreed," Athena answered quickly. "We must not stay here."
"Well, where do we go?" I asked.
"To Asgard," Hephaestus answered firmly.
"I believe it was you who said Odin would not take us in, yes?" asked Apollo.
"We are not going for shelter," Hephaestus smiled a devilish grin. "We are going... for materials."
Asgard wasn't what I expected. Truth was, I didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't this. The sky was a splauched watercolor painting of blues and violets, and even black in some places as the winds blew across the roiling water beneath. The plane seemed to be on the brink of a major storm that never quite arrived. The air was salty and cold as we were rowed across the noisy waters toward the great hall on the hill. I could see it through the fog with a mighty hearth fire burning at the port.
"It's kind of dreary," I noted as the Norseman rowed us to shore.
"I adore this type of weather," Artemis grinned widely. "It is so exciting, would you not agree?"
"I must admit, I too enjoy the calm before a storm," Hephaestus agreed. "Great power swells within the clouds. The potential is hair-raising."
"I would oft come to earth just for this feeling," Apollo spoke next. "There's nothing like it."
"Perhaps it is a sense of godlike nostalgia among Zeus's children," Athena said before taking a big wiff of the air. "We all love storms, it seems."
I preferred sunny weather, but it wasn't like I didn't understand. There was something exilerating about a storm so intense that it knocked the power out. We'd gather together in the living room and light all our candles, and play board games while we listened to the rolling thunder over our heads.
I missed that.
I missed my family.
And it was striking me just then as we pulled up to the shore that I might never see anyone I loved ever again. I had been so caught up in getting away from an angry deity that I hadn't really had the time to sit and think about the state of my life.
The longboat rumbled beneath us as it bore into the rocky shoreline. The other gods climbed out and onto the shore, and I followed quietly behind them. We marched up the torchlit path to the great hall under heavy fog. The rocks crunched under my boots as I moved up the incline. I never did tire or run out of breath— divinity had robbed me of such mortal difficulties. I should have been thrilled, but my heart was heavy. Would I never know the challenge of exercise again?
I shook the thoughts away. I kept thinking like a poet inside my head. It was so weird having my inner monologue change. Would I be speaking like Artemis eventually? Or could I keep a more natural sentence structure like Athena? At least she used contractions. Artemis sounded like a language model; like Microsoft Sam, or Starfire from Teen Titans or something— like she was still getting a grasp on the language after thousands of years.
When we reached the top of the path, we stood before the great hall's massive wooden doors. We beheld them for only a moment before they parted in the middle and creaked open. A tall man— taller than any of us strode out of the hall. He wore what looked like an animal pelt across his silver shoulder pauldrons, and the rest of his outfit was made up of dark leather that thinly veiled his abdominal muscles. He surveyed us through a single eye, brushing his long grey hair out of his face and behind his ears. I couldn't tell if he was smiling beneath his thick beard.
"You have ten seconds to explain," he spoke harshly.
It was a safe bet that he wasn't smiling.
"It's the new deity," Athena spoke quickly. "Brian," she clarified, turning and looking over her shoulder at me.
"Me?" I cried out in surprise. "I haven't done anything yet!"
"His domains are indulgence, isolation, and humor... so far as we know. It the second of his domains that concerns you."
"But we promise," Artemis interjected. "He cannot control it yet! And you will understand, soon enough, that it is best that we cannot be detected."
The man looked me over, his frown softening into a look of curiosity. "How about that?" he asked, moving through the crowd of gods nearer to me. "I didn't know about it," he said in a deep tone. "Do you have any idea," he asked, looking me dead in the eyes. "... How long it has been since I didn't know something?"
The valleys of age that ran across his face didn't for a single second betray the enormity of his might. I could feel the weight of his power on my shoulders as he studied me. I didn't have to ask who he was. I could feel it in my bones— this was Odin.
This was the All-Father.
Athena appeared at his side and smiled sweetly at him. "How does it feel?" she asked.
"Unnerving," he answered. "And yet... exhilerating, I could not sense any of you approaching. I didn't know you would be here before I heard the horns of the boatmen." he turned to her. "How is this possible?"
"Well, now," Athena said in her most charming voice. "How would you like to hear a story you haven't heard before? One you didn't immediately know as the pen met the page?"
"Ha," he placed a thick hand on her shoulder. "I knew I would like you, Athena." He turned to the others and smiled genuinely. "Come! Join me at my table! We have about an hour before Poseidon shows up asking for you."
I was in awe.
He was completely omniscient it seemed.
He knew all— except for me.
I couldn't help the feeling of unease as we followed him into the hall and the gargantuan wooden doors closed behind us. If Odin felt I was a threat to him...
I was certain none of us would be able to stand up to him.
Writing Prompt Submitted by u/blablador-2001

Disclaimer: I do not speak Korean. This is purely translated by machine with a lot of cleanup afterward. With that in mind, I am open to criticism to improve these translations. Enjoy!
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Chapter 425
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Thud!
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White Flames, having lost its mark, skittered across the ground.
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"Ah."
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With a snap of his fingers, the Arch Lich ensnared me, who stood frozen like a statue. Black hands, summoned from the void, clamped tightly around my body.
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He wielded his magic effortlessly, foregoing the incantations usually required for spellcasting.
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Step by step.
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With each stride, the Arch Lich's magic swirled through him like a dense fog.
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His left arm, obliterated earlier by my One Strike, began to regenerate. The shattered bones, now shaded darker, knitted together with eerie robustness.
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As the completion of the Gate approached, his power swelled correspondingly.
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- I wondered why I could smell death on you. That's quite a spectacular reason, isn't it? The friendship between a human and a monster is... quite touching.
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Creak.
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The sound of misaligned bones grated through my frame, yet my gaze drifted over the Arch Lich's shoulder.
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Focused on a sword embedded in the earth, its hilt clutched by a hand that refused to relinquish its grip.
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'Skeleton Warlord.'
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By divine decree, humans and monsters were eternal adversaries.
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Initially, it had been the same between us.
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But now... I realized. At some juncture, the Skeleton Warlord had transcended mere monstrosity in my eyes.
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'If I had still thought of him as just a monster, I would have annihilated him with my own hands.'
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Destroying the Skeleton Warlord could have provided a crucial boost through leveling up.
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Yet I faltered, and ultimately, I abstained.
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Not merely because he had spared my life, but because he had won a place as a friend in my heart.
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A hollow laugh burst from my lips.
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‘Damn it. I should have never gotten attached.’
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At that, the Arch Lich’s eyes narrowed slightly.
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- You're laughing? In this situation?
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“My mother used to say that laughter brings fortune.”
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- You must be out of your mind.
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“Why the fuss if I want to laugh? Are you my date or something?”
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I spat at the Arch Lich’s face. A thick, ambiguous mixture of blood and phlegm trickled down his brow.
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At that moment, a fierce red glow blazed from where his eyes ought to be.
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- I've heard your response well.
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“Fuck you.”
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If I claimed to have no regrets about my life up to this point, I would be lying. Regrets, however, always arrive too late, and I've fought hard enough until now.
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When I finally let go, everything seemed like a fleeting dream. My face, relaxed in a smile, was mirrored in the Arch Lich's sinister red gaze.
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- I've said this before. Your body will be torn to shreds, and your soul will wander the River of Death forever.
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I nodded, accepting this grim fate easily.
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“That sounds about right. Just like that demon bastard you serve.”
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- ...!
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“When I meet him, I’ll send your regards. Give me his address.”
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- ...Let’s see how long you can keep spouting such nonsense.
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With a mere gesture from the Arch Lich, the massive magical hands constricting me tightened their grip and began to tear at my limbs with incredible force.
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Slowly, bit by bit.
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Creak, crunch.
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A small cracking sound from within awoke the sense of pain I had momentarily escaped.
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Though I believed I had no energy left for screams, an involuntary howl tore through my lips.
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“Argh, aaaaargh!”
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- That's it. Much better.
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Blinded by agony, I braced for death as I unleashed the screams I had suppressed.
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But just as the pain began to ebb away, instead of death, a System notification chimed.
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Ding.
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- [Top-grade Potion] used!
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- The amount of potion used is too small. The injury has been slightly healed!
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- Your injuries are too severe. A more potent and higher-quality healing is necessary!
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​
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…What?
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As a refreshing sensation mingled with renewed pain, my eyes met the Arch Lich's, which gleamed mockingly.
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In his hand, he held a glass bottle.
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‘I see.’
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It was one of the potions from Lee Jeong-Ryong’s subspace pocket, previously pilfered by the Arch Lich.
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And now, he wielded the healing potion as an instrument of torment.
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The potion delivered just enough healing to forestall death, yet it intensified my agony to new excruciating heights.
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- Foolish human. Did you really think I would grant you an easy and comfortable death?
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“……!”
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- Continue to wail. Cry like a coward, thrash in pain, and only after you realize your foolishness will you be able to head towards the River of Death.
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The Arch Lich swirled the glass bottle, his tone laced with derision.
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The potion, diminished by barely a tenth, was a clear measure of the enduring pain yet to come.
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That torment seemed destined to stretch into infinity.
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Amidst the minimal relief and overwhelming pain, I gasped for air and managed a forced smile.
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"If I chant 'Long live the Demon King' three times, will you end it quickly?"
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- Well, if you put your heart and soul into it, I might consider.
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“I won’t, you son of a bitch.”
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- That's fine. We have plenty of time anyway. It wouldn’t hurt to think it over slowly…
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Crack!
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The Arch Lich’s glowing eyes flickered wildly, mirroring my own shock.
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It was something neither he nor I had expected.
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- What is this...
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His voice trailed off in suspicion as he glanced down at his chest.
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It was light. A brilliant, overwhelming radiance — bright enough to rival the sun - erupted from his chest.
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'No, it’s not just light.'
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I stared at it with a vacant gaze. It was a sword, emitting a brilliance greater than anything I had ever before.
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I knew the name of that all-too-familiar sword.
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‘Hero’s Soul.’
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Beyond the skeletal chest of the Arch Lich, I could see the steadfast hand that clutched the sword’s hilt.
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“……!”
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Time seemed to halt.
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In this nearly frozen world, I watched as hundreds, then thousands, of bone fragments coalesced.
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They were mere remnants of a skeleton, yet they drew together with magnetic force, beginning to reconstruct.
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Click, clack!
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The symphony of bones assembling.
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First, the limbs took shape, followed swiftly by the torso.
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The bones, once black and lustrous, were bathed in the radiance of the [Hero's Soul]. They soon took on a subtle gold hue, lengthening and hardening in the process.
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'Ah.'
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It was a miraculous transformation.
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The myriad bone fragments merged, reconstructing a body in a manner that seemed to reverse the flow of time. The light emanating from the sword expelled the darkness lodged within the joints, heralding the genesis of a new entity.
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And then, as the skull clicked into place atop the reformed body—
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Flash!
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Golden light exploded from the vacant eye sockets, emitting an aura both deeply familiar and intriguingly foreign.
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In the next moment, the suspended time resumed its course.
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- You asked me why?
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“……!”
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My body jolted as if struck by lightning, recalling a memory from barely an hour earlier.
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​
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'But why? ...Why?'
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​
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That had been my question. Why did you shield me, knowing it spelled your destruction?
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At the time, his response was uncertain, hinting that perhaps the sword had cast a spell over him.
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Now, the answer I had not heard before resonated clearly.
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- You're a cunning, wicked human...but also a pretty good guy.
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A pretty good guy.
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A phrase I had once said to someone else.
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I stared at him, astonished. His enlarged, solid form radiated a soft golden glow. The silver pattern etched on the forehead of his skull resembled a crown.
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No, it was clearly a crown.
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​
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[Lv.160 Skeleton King]
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​
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As the System window hovered above his head, laughter bubbled up from me uncontrollably.
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"My Golgol has grown a lot."
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- I wondered why I've been feeling itchy all this time. [Note: just a quick reminder: the Skeleton Warlord has previously complained, during one of the MC's abusive treatments, that his bones have been itchy and sensitive lately. For more details, look at novel chapter 409.]
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The once small, dark caterpillar had finally emerged from its cocoon, wings unfurled.
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The luminance of the Skeleton Warlord — now the Skeleton King — radiated outward like a crescent moon. Both of us shared a moment of laughter.
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Yet, there was one who could not share in our mirth.
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- Argh! Aaaaargh!
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The Arch Lich.
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This unparalleled Named Monster, commander of legions of the undead and bearer of undying, formidable magical powers, now contorted in torment.
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A sword impaled through the heart of his chest.
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The golden radiance from the [Hero's Soul] began to devour the magic, dissolving his form.
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Perhaps even his soul.
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- Human.
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Prompted by the Skeleton King’s gentle summons, I knew it was time.
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'Let's end this.'
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Ding.
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​
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- [Hero's Soul] bestows upon you the light of healing!
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- All status abnormalities have been removed!
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- All injuries and stats have been restored!
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- The soul of the departed smiles upon you.
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​
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Whoosh!
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A surge of light from the [Hero's Soul] enveloped me, its warmth mending my fractured bones and knitting my flesh back together.
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My organs, once damaged, and blood vessels, previously torn, now regenerated, the heat within them simmering like molten lava.
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'I can do this.'
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This newfound conviction was as solid as steel, surprising even to myself, yet unmistakably true.
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With such power at my command, there was nothing beyond my reach.
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'My turn.'
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Ssssssht! Thump!
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I picked up White Flames, which lay discarded nearby.
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Pop!
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Leaping into the air, I extended my foot.
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My trajectory aimed me straight at the Arch Lich, who, amidst his powerful sorcery, writhed in agony.
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- What in the world! What magic have you used!
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The Arch Lich bellowed in fury.
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His eyes, pulsating red, dilated with each pulse of agony.
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His pain was palpable.
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- Damn you, damn human! Aaaaargh!
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Ignoring his curses, I raised White Flames with deliberate calm.
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I positioned the mystical spear, its blade shimmering, to strike not just the flailing Arch Lich but also the ominous Gate looming behind him.
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Whoosh.
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From the core of my lower dantian, the fire dragon unfurled its wings, ascending as a fiery orb that exploded outward in all directions. The flames, kindled at my fingertips, climbed up the shaft of White Flames, cloaking it in layers of azure fire.
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- You bastard! How dare you!
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The Arch Lich flailed his limbs in a frenzy as his rage boiled over. Yet, the magic he cast fizzled out before it could reach me, snuffed by the searing barrier that cocooned me.
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Despite his faltering strength, the darkness around the Gate churned with renewed vigor.
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Then, it struck me.
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'Now!'
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As I twisted my body, the force of rotation surged from my legs through my waist, amplifying as it reached my shoulders and wrists. This caused White Flames to quiver with intense energy.
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An extraordinary power, harnessed from the depths of my being, ignited a flame more colossal than any before.
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This was the moment.
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Swoosh!
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In an instant, the distance between me and the Arch Lich collapsed, and time seemed to stretch thin.
​
Before his lips could complete his incantation, I struck with a force fueled by every ounce of my resolve and strength.
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- Blin...!
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One Strike.
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There would be no second chances. The azure dragon, unleashed from the blade, enveloped both the Arch Lich and the ominous Gate.
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Kaboom!
​
Previous Table of Contents Next

Hello; really loved the interaction with my first post, so thanks so much for that! I'll just reiterate: spoilers for all Star Trek, and everything is just my opinion.
900) Unnatural Selection (1989)
TNG 2x7
Writer: John Mason & Mike Gray
Director: Paul Lynch
We've seen this idea done before and better. Yeah, it's a little bit different this time: it centres around children genetically engineered to be free of disease (isn't that illegal in the Federation?). But the actual plot of the episode is little different from TOS' The Deadly Years, with Doctor Pulaski aging and trying to find a cure for the condition. An uninspired repeat of a TOS episode that wasn't even that good in the first place.
899) We'll Always Have Paris (1988)
TNG 1x23
Writer: Deborah Dean Davis & Hannah Louise Shearer
Director: Robert Becker
Bored me stiff. I'm not always a huge fan of time travel stuff in general, and this is one of the least dynamic uses of that story type I've ever seen. Picard also has some weak character development, in his reminiscence about the girlfriend he left behind to join Starfleet, after he runs into her in this episode. The resolution with Data is fine, though, and I do like that they used him, as somebody less affected by the Maddox Effect, to solve the problem. Functional, just really dull.
898) Angel One (1988)
TNG 1x13
Writer: Patrick Barry
Director: Michael Rhodes
I will say that, as a teenage boy and as a young man now, this episode did give me empathy for what women go through in real life: being dismissed as weak and soft and barred from meaningful work. Beyond that, however, this episode really says nothing. It feels like it wants to be a deep and compelling exploration of gender roles, but apart from that feeling of empathy it gave me it doesn't accomplish anything of the kind. It's just a rote story about an oppressed section of society trying to combat their oppressors, and Riker saves the dissidents from being executed with a dull speech.
897) Silicon Avatar (1991)
TNG 5x4
Writer: Jeri Taylor, story by Lawrence V Conley
Director: Cliff Bole
Oh, just what I always wanted: the return of the Crystalline Entity from Datalore! Most anticipated villain return ever! But seriously, this could have been an interesting episode exploring a decent creature, but all that ends up happening is the Enterprise chasing the Crystalline Entity while Data has conversations with the mother of one of the victims of its attack on his colony. I will say that her hatred of Data got some genuine emotion out of me, as I raise my hackles against anyone who dares attack that loveable android, and seeing her come round to him was reasonably satisfying. But I still wasn't intrigued by their conversations, or the story of her seeking revenge for her son's death. The actual murder of the Crystalline Entity was done with a decent weight, but the episode takes forever to get there, through a slog of boring conversations and virtually no emotional investment for me.
896) The Outrageous Okona (1988)
TNG 2x4
Writer: Burton Armus, story by Les Menchen, Lance Dickson & David Landsberg
Director: Robert Becker
An aimless, artless story of a rogue caught between two fathers hounding him for his misdeeds. I don't find Okona amusing or charming, so his heavy presence in the episode doesn't do anything for me, and the story surrounding him is weak too. Data's stand-up comedy stuff is quite funny; Brent Spiner plays it brilliantly. I particularly enjoy the scene where he's trying out his act on Guinan, and it's just so bad. Also love Whoopi Goldberg's delivery of 'No' after Data asks her if his act was good. But this B-plot has only a flimsy connection to the main story, and therefore its presence leaves the end product feeling messy as well as weak.
895) Bounty (2003)
ENT 2x25
Writer: Hans Tobeason, Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong, story by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Director: Roxann Dawson
An A-plot and B-plot that are both very bad. The story of Archer getting kidnapped by a bounty hunter is rote and uninspired, and definitely feels like it was one of the last ideas the writers came up with for the season. They were just filling time with a poor sequel to the earlier episode Judgement. His interactions with the Tellarite do not interest me at all, and I do not care about the Tellarite's lost ship. The B-plot with T'Pol prematurely going through the Pon Farr sees some of the worst sexualisation of the character, plus some cringey dialogue between her and Phlox. Archer's ending escape from the Klingons, with the Tellarite's secret help, is solid, though.
894) The Omega Glory (1968)
TOS 2x23
Writer: Gene Roddenberry
Director: Vincent McEveety
Goes from mundane to insane. For much of its runtime I would give this my label of dull but functional: there's a rogue Starfleet Captain trying to discover the secret to eternal youth on a pre-warp planet, and there's a lot of fighting with some of the savage natives. It's all very boring... until the last quarter.
It gets revealed that this is (yet another) TOS Season 2 Earth parallel, with the savages representing the US and the village people the Communists. There is no explanation given for how the aliens ended up with all the exact paraphernalia of that time on Earth, from the US flag to the American Constitution; it's all just ludicrous.
The crowning weirdness of the episode is Kirk's lauding of the American Constitution as the greatest thing ever invented. Now, I don't just not like this because I'm English; I would feel the same if the British (unwritten) Constitution was being lauded like this. I consider myself a pretty patriotic person, and I believe that every country has equal reason to celebrate themselves, but I feel it is utterly inappropriate in Star Trek for any one country or group to be held up as the ultimate shining example of civilisation. This is because Trek is meant to represent a future where everybody's come together under one banner. There's a lot to praise about the American Constitution, but it's inappropriate for it to be held up as the 'One True Way', if you will. Kirk's final admiring look at the US flag is so cringeworthily saccharine. So, yeah, this episode is boring for most of its runtime, and it certainly isn't in the end... it's much worse.
893) The Muse (1996)
DS9 4x21
Writer: Rene Echevarria, story by Rene Echevarria & Majel Barrett-Roddenberry
Director: David Livingston
The DS9 Lwaxana Troi episodes are largely not a good time, and this is the absolute worst of them. The story of her pregnancy feels so hammy and forced, and the drama with her and Odo doesn't interest me at all. She also doesn't feel like she has much of a presence in the episode, which is shocking given how she came on so wonderfully strong in TNG. The other plotline with Jake is also uninteresting. It's at least not as bad as the Lwaxana storyline, but it's still so very uninspired (you see what I did there?). Annoyingly our last Lwaxana appearance; they really should have stopped her episodes after TNG's Dark Page; that was the perfect ending for her character.
892) When the Bough Breaks (1988)
TNG 1x16
Writer: Hannah Louise Shearer
Director: Kim Manners
Gene Roddenberry did like his kiddie episodes, didn't he? The idea of 'Atlantis-but-a-planet' is interesting, but the episode wastes the concept on a tiresome kidnapping story. The kids are fine I guess, but I'd also rather not be watching them. Wesley feels kinda out-of-place among them, to be honest, considering how noticeably older he is. I will say that Picard's reaction to the abduction: 'You have just committed an act of utter barbarity!' is a superb bit of acting from Stewart, but other than that there's nothing else I'll praise about this outing.
891) Pen Pals (1989)
TNG 2x15
Writer: Melinda M Snodgrass, story by Hannah Louise Shearer
Director: Winrich Kolbe
This always feels like a short to me, despite its forty-five minute length. No time is spent building up Data and the alien kid's relationship; we just see the kid's first communication, then jump into Data confessing to Picard he's been in contact with a pre-warp individual. So I have no investment in this relationship, which is a shame because Data-plus-kid had the potential to be really sweet. They just didn't put the legwork into it. The resolution is fine.
890) Unforgettable (1998)
VOY 4x22
Writer: Greg Elliot & Michael Perricone
Director: Andrew Robinson
Got to be the most ironic title in Trek history, since this episode is extremely forgettable. It's also mind-numbingly boring: Trek does not have a good track record with single-episode romances, and this has got to be one of the worst. I feel zero connection to the guest character and zero investment in her relationship with Chakotay. The idea of a species that you forget after they've been gone for a while is intriguing, but it is wasted on this insipid romance. This was one of the longest forty-five minutes I've ever sat through.
889) Transfigurations (1990)
TNG 3x25
Writer: Rene Echevarria
Director: Tom Benko
Speaking of dull one-episode romances, here's another one. The idea of a species going through a butterfly-like transformation, that is feared and suppressed by the authorities, is again intriguing. It reminds me of the Jon Pertwee Doctor Who story The Mutants, if anyone's watched that, except it's done less well. Again, the good concept is wasted on a boring romance, this time between Beverly and her patient. This is another one that feels much longer than forty-five minutes.
888) Bread and Circuses (1968)
TOS 2x25
Writer: Gene Roddenberry & Gene L Coon
Director: Ralph Senensky
At this point in TOS Season 2, I just thought: 'Really, Mr Roddenberry? Another Earth parallel? I know you like them, but this is getting ridiculous!' Not only is this a tired repeat of an already done idea, but no explanation is given for why this planet parallels the Roman Empire. In A Piece of the Action and Patterns of Force clever reasons were given, but in this it's just presented as a weird fact. That doesn't fly with me.
And even if they had come up with another clever explanation, they have done this idea, which I don't like very much anyway, way too many times this season. I did have some minor interest in the concept of a Rome that never fell, but not enough to sustain me for fifty minutes. Boring and uninspired to the highest degree. I will say there's one really great scene between Spock and Bones in a prison cell, though, when Bones confronts Spock about how he keeps all his emotions carefully concealed.
887) How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth (1974)
TAS 2x5
Writer: Russell Bates & David Wise
Director: Bill Reed
Similar to Who Mourns for Adonais?, in that it gives us an omnipotent alien, who was once worshipped as a God on Earth, and has returned to take charge of his wayward children, only to ultimately discover they don't need him anymore. This is a much weaker version of that story, however, with a less sympathetic godlike character and less runtime to flesh out the idea.
The episode also takes a weird swerve halfway through, from the setting of Kukulkan's city (a nice location, I must say) to his zoo, which I find much less appealing. This episode had an idea, but it wasn't quite sure how to tell the story. Kukulkan genuinely scared me a little, though, and I did feel sorry for him when he flew off, knowing that his former worshippers had outgrown him. But again, that was done better in TOS.
886) Resurrection (1997)
DS9 6x8
Writer: Michael Taylor
Director: LeVar Burton
Michael Taylor is a curious writer for me. He has written both some of my favourite and some of my least favourite episodes, with little middle ground. This falls hard into the latter category. It's interesting to have someone from the Mirror Universe cross into the Prime Universe, rather than the other way around as normally happens, and it's doubly interesting to have that someone be Mirror Bareil. But the episode falls flat on its face: every scene is just so interminably dull, and, unlike his Prime Universe counterpart, this Bareil has no chemistry with Kira. So boring, so pedestrian, and the absolute worst of the DS9 Mirror Universe episodes.
885) The Paradise Syndrome (1968)
TOS 3x3
Writer: Margaret Armen
Director: Jud Taylor
I think this is the epitome of functional but dull. The story makes sense, the characters' motivations make sense, but that doesn't mean the episode is interesting. I do like the idea of the Preservers, beings who transplanted members of endangered peoples, here the Native Americans, to other planets, but the episode flops. Kirk's memory loss leads to a yawnworthy stay among the Native Americans, filled with predictable tensions and conflicts, and a bland romance. The Spock and Bones B-plot is also boring. I feel a little something for Miramanee's death, but only a little something.
884) Assignment: Earth (1968)
TOS 2x26
Writer: Art Wallace, story by Gene Roddenberry & Art Wallace
Director: Marc Daniels
Star Trek without the Star Trek. Deciding not to focus on the main characters for an episode isn't a bad idea in and of itself, but the characters put in their stead hold little interest for me. The same is true of the plot they work within. This was of course a backdoor pilot for a spin-off that never manifested, and maybe if it had come about I would like this episode much more, but as it stands I find the characters unintriguing and the plot uninspired. The climax is particularly poor, with about seventy different shots of the rocket going into orbit, while the characters mill about and do very little. I want me my Kirk, Spock and Bones back.
883) The Red Angel (2019)
DSC 2x10
Writer: Chris Silvestri & Anthony Maranville
Director: Hanelle M Culpepper
Down here for the same reasons as previous DSC Season 2 episodes I've put on this list. It engages heavily in the twin foul-ups of the Spock's sister storyline and the Section 31 portrayal. I hate the base concept of Burnham being Spock's sister, for reasons I've explained in my previous post, so I despise all their scenes together, that build out this relationship that I wish had never been. And Section 31 continues to be portrayed as a public wing of the Federation, with ships and resources provided by Starfleet, which is godawful.
I will say, however, that I do kinda like the sequence where Burnham has to strap herself to a chair and bare herself to the planet's toxic atmosphere in order to summon the Red Angel. And the reveal that the Angel is not herself but in fact her mother is cool. But this is still a really bad episode.
882) The Storyteller (1993)
DS9 1x13
Writer: Kurt Michael Bensmiller & Ira Steven Behr, story by Kurt Michael Bensmiller
Director: David Livingston
A really messy, weak outing. The A- and B-plots have nothing to do with each other, which isn't automatically bad, but here it just makes the episode feel untidy. Of the two, I prefer the Jake and Nog subplot; it's funny seeing them mooning over the female teenage leader of a settlement who comes to the station. Their getting in trouble to impress her is charming. The A-plot sucks, though: the whole business of O'Brien having to become the protector of this village, from an amorphous cloud villain, is just lame, and the resolution is whatever. It is funny to see O'Brien and Julian in their first episode together, though, and witnessing how much O'Brien doesn't care for the good Doctor at this point. Oh, how times will change.
881) The Arsenal of Freedom (1988)
TNG 1x20
Writer: Richard Manning & Hans Beimler, story by Maurice Hurley & Robert Lewin
Director: Les Landau
A ramshackle adventure with a medley of different storylines, all of which are underwhelming. The best is Geordi's plotline, where he asserts himself as commander of the Enterprise over the *rsehole Chief Engineer of the week, but the other two don't really have any redeeming qualities. The Riker and co storyline is repetitive and the Picard and Beverly storyline is dull. I do like that the threat is resolved when Picard agrees to make a purchase from this dead civilisation, though.
880) Move Along Home (1993)
DS9 1x9
Writer: Frederick Rappaport, Lisa Rich & Jeanne Carrigan-Fauci, story by Michael Piller
Director: David Carson
OK, so I said this wasn't the worst of DS9, but it's still really bad. Though I have to say that, after I watched this with my siblings last year, and had such fun doing so, I've never been able to see it quite so badly. It's bad, yeah, but it's so, so much fun. The best-worst bit is of course the alien hopscotch scene, and I also really have to give credit to Alexander Siddig for playing some brilliant cringey comedy with Julian. The scene where he's trying to wake himself up from a nightmare by screaming? So funny. These (sort of) praises made, this is still a stinker of an episode, with a messy plot, too-silly events, and some serious overacting from Armin Shimerman at the end. Definitely something best watched with friends or family.
Allamaraine, count to four,
Allamaraine, then three more,
Allamaraine, if you can see,
Allamaraine, you'll come with me!
879) Justice (1987)
TNG 1x7
Writer: Worley Thorne, story by Ralph Wills & Worley Thorne
Director: James L Conway
I love the basic idea of this episode: Wesley runs afoul of a law on another planet and is sentenced to death by their draconian justice system. Then Picard has to struggle with whether to obey the Prime Directive or save his life. But the episode is dragged down by some weird costuming choices and, most of all, the addition of an omnipotent entity that watches over the planet's people. This should have just been an episode about Picard struggling between duty and conscience; the addition of a mega-powerful being steals screentime from this fine idea.
878) A Simple Investigation (1997)
DS9 5x17
Writer: Rene Echevarria
Director: John T Kretchmer
Uuuuugh; another boring single-episode romance. It's an interminable chore to sit through, from beginning to end, with tired, uninspired romantic scenes and an unexciting criminalistic plot surrounding the Orion Syndicate. I also don't like how the Changelings' linking is equated with sex in that one scene. There are a few fun scenes with O'Brien, Julian and Jadzia when they're playing the spy holosuite program (Jadzia's 'Ooh, somebody stop me!', or O'Brien's 'Hi, Odo!'), but that's about it.
877) Such Sweet Sorrow Part Two (2019)
DSC 2x14
Writer: Michelle Paradise, Junny Lumet, & Alex Kurtzman
Director: Olatunde Osunsanmi
DSC wasn't merely content to introduce a sister for Spock who weakened the story of his childhood and family life. They had to make that sister so important in his life that he'd be willing to go with her into the future and leave his life behind. I hate that Kurtzman and co made this decision, as it makes everything in TOS, SNW etc feel like Spock settling for second-best, when in reality he is fulfilling his life's purpose in those series.
I also never connected with any of the DSC original characters, except for Saru, and even with him I don't feel any emotion at their grand final 23rd Century adventure to stop Control. As I've said before, this evil sentient AI story is a tired, repeated idea, and its connection to the terrible portrayal of Section 31 makes it worse. As a result of all this don't give a single crap about any of the grand-scale action in this episode, and I feel nothing for the loss of the Discovery crew to the far future. I will say that this episode did at least propel DSC into the 32nd Century, which would end up saving the series from being irredeemably awful, and it sets up the phenomenal SNW (although we didn't strictly need all this for SNW to work).
876) Vis a Vis (1998)
VOY 4x20
Writer: Robert Doherty
Director: Jesus Salvador Trevino
A vapid story about Tom feeling dissatisfied with his life on Voyager, and getting replaced by a shape-stealing alien. The concept for the alien is solid, but the execution doesn't fly. It ends up being a limp episode that drags quite a bit, with a bland character arc for Tom at its centre. Shoutout for the appearance of Dan Butler as the alien's main form, though; he played the testosterone-fuelled Bulldog Briscoe in my favourite comedy, Frasier.
That's it for now. Thank you very much for reading, and Live Long and Prosper!

Had this idea bouncing around in my head about the little ferret guy, Etholin Esila. I figured with him being a 'merchant lord' he'd want to start cutting deals with Emma once the initial curiosity and amazement over Earth tech would have passed. Not sure where this is going, if anywhere, but just wanted to get it out of my head and onto 'paper'.
Thanks to u/DndQuickQuestion for helping with feedback on earlier drafts.
Afternoon Transgracian Academy of Magical Arts
The hulking minotaur loomed menacingly over me. "Crawling along the floor suits you well, Merchant Lord Etholin Esila!” it boomed in an intimidating baritone. “Merchant Lord, pfah! Even a mangy cur such as that Mercenary Prince has a legacy of valor and martial prowess behind his dubious title, but you?”
An accusatory finger was jabbed in my direction. “Nothing but puffery and bluster to buttress your status as a glorified shopkeep! Your ilk claims to broker fair trade between the Realms, but those with integrity and honor recognize the deceit you employ to conjure false value from nothing." It was difficult to tell if Lord Auris Ping's tirade was aimed more at myself, the Esila clan, or the concept of inter-realm commerce in general.
At the moment, I was more concerned with herding my scattered belongings back into my satchel. While rushing to my next appointment, I had the dubious privilege of colliding with this mountain of a brute. Naturally I was on the losing side of that contest, and was sent tail over head to the floor, scattering the contents of my school satchel across the polished granite. Not one to pass up the chance at a crass display of dominance, Lord Ping had launched into the rant that everyone in earshot was currently enduring.
"Look at you, scrabbling on the floor to fetch your little trinkets, a fitting match for your base and covetous nature!" Fairly pedestrian, as far as character assassination went. I’d been called far worse while helping Father with trade negotiations, sometimes at sword or stave point. One had to develop quite a thick hide when engaging in cross-realm commerce. Especially with many realms having rather… absolutist opinions about the value of goods, like Lord Ping here. But I had zero interest in contesting his assertions, despite how idiotic they were.
Haggling or arguing with Pronarthians was a singularly wretched experience. They were infamous across the Realms for their single-mindedness and a compulsive need to have the last word that bordered on lunacy. I didn’t have the patience for the endless ingratiating flattery required to bore through such stubbornness. If that wasn’t enough, a gentleman of my stature also had to consider Pronarthians’ sizeism; specifically their intrinsic respect for the larger and taller races.
And that was merely the average Pronarthian! Arguing with a belligerent lout, accustomed to deference as Lord Ping? I'd sooner try my hand at flying out the nearby window. At least the loamy soil below would give me a fighting chance, or a jagged rock would grant me the mercy of a swift end.
Instead, I busied myself putting my things in order, taking special care with one item in particular. It was a set of memory crystals I received from the Earthrealmer, Cadet Emma Booker. It was part of a ‘transdimensional cultural exchange pilot program,’ as she had described it with her nation’s peculiar bureaucratic jargon. I had previously conducted similar transactions in my initial dealings with Cadet Booker, and it was those first tentative steps that convinced me to make Cadet Booker a full-fledged premiere trade partner of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company, the pride of the Esila clan.
The myriad tomes and treatises from Earthrealm, such as the riveting "The Wealth of Nations," amply demonstrated that Earthrealm had an extremely sophisticated understanding of commerce, finance, and logistics. But it was the ‘video archive footage,’ transferred onto memory crystals for ease of viewing, that convinced me at a visceral level that these Earthrealmers were a sound investment. I felt it on my whisker-tips, as the commoners back home would say.
"May I offer a helping hand, Lord Esila?" inquired a familiar voice. I looked up to see a scaly, clawed hand extended toward me. “And perhaps a sympathetic ear? After all, that was a rather nasty bit of slander from Lord Ping, would you not agree?”
Wonderful. This nonsense again.
While I had been lost in thought contemplating Ocean Breeze’s latest windfall, Lord Ping seemed to have lost interest and resumed going about his business. Taking his place, as always, was Lord Qiv Ratom, ever ready to sift through the rubble of Lord Ping's latest ham-fisted antics for personal gain. "You will find that my views differ considerably from Lord Ping's. I, for one, admire the manner in which you extract value from your trade partners. After all, does it not require skill and cunning to convince the customer that your wares are worth far greater than their true value? Such nuance and subtlety is lost on the likes of Auris Ping, content to strong-arm what he desires from others."
I paused for a moment, at a loss for words. His tone suggested his 'praise' was sincere, but only stoked my ire further. What in the thrice-damned Hells did he think he was accomplishing? Did he really think that telling me, "Well, I still regard you as a thief, but I APPRECIATE your thieving nature, unlike that uncouth lout!" was going to win me over? Dealing with parties with this attitude to commerce and trade was tedious at best. But ever since making acquaintances with Cadet Booker, whose people's understanding and appreciation of commerce rivaled the Nexians, dealing with the likes of Ping and Ratom was nigh UNBEARABLE.
I rattled off the usual rigmarole we used at Ocean Breeze for clients we wished to keep at arm's length. "With respect, Lord Ratom, the value of the goods we sell is determined by the customer's needs and circumstances. The merchants of my clan arbitrate prices taking such factors into consideration. We see it as our responsibility to provide equitable trade that is not only beneficial to all parties, but also provides fair compensation for the tradesmen involved in executing the transaction."
"But of course, it is as you say," replied Lord Ratom with his signature oily charisma. "Fair and equitable trade, according to the customer's circumstances. Thus, you are but a facilitator of the Fates, a most humble tool of Destiny itself. And one who collects a respectable commission, at that," he continued. He stopped short of winking conspiratorially, but the impish grin playing across his features was a fine substitute. Every mote of my being wanted to shake him until he shed his skin. He continued, "Your... humility aside, my admiration of your clan's cunning and resourcefulness still stands. The insight of one so skilled is always welcome within my inner circle, should you wish to grace us with your presence."
It took all my restraint to not tell him into which orifice he could jam his charity-case friendship offer. After all, I'd been keeping far better and more like-minded company of late. Company that the Baralonian lord was likely dying to ingratiate himself with, given how Cadet Booker and her peer group had taken pains to keep Lord Ratom and his entourage of gossips at arm’s length. Instead, I left the smug reptile’s offer dangling in the air, twisting in the wind for a few agonizing moments while I finished tidying my things. Rising to my feet, I finally replied, "An offer most generous and kind. I will of course, have to consider the circumstances of both customer and merchant. Surely you would not begrudge a humble servant of Fate for waiting for the most auspicious circumstances?" Even at my best, I was hardly a master of rhetoric, so crudely tossing his words back at him was the best I could do.
"As you please, Lord Esila," replied Lord Ratom, finally sensing his return on investment wouldn't be worthwhile, leaving me alone to stew in the hallway. Such was the game played among the aristocracy. I looked down at the bundle of memory crystals in my hands, contemplating on their origin, and how Earthrealm could change how the Esila clan, perhaps even all of Rontalis, played the game.
I continued on my way, thoughts heavy once more.
Evening Ocean Breeze Trading Company, Elaseer Offices, Private Chambers
The Elaseer branch office of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company was a modest affair by Nexian standards, a second-storey affair nestled on the edge of the warehouse district. The restrained yet tasteful trappings were a calculated decision of the Esila clan, proprietors of the trading company. A fine balance had to be struck when it came to outward appearances, after all. Some measure of artful decoration was necessary to appease the Nexian eye’s obsession with projecting might and wealth, but not so much that it would attract too much attention.
Only in the private chambers would a guest finally see some personality in the decor, and a generous measure at that. These were the chambers of the nobleman assigned stewardship of these offices, Lord Rikad Esila, uncle to Etholin Esila. Colorful murals with aquatic motifs adorned the walls, highlighted with tastefully matching lacquered panels featuring artwork done in mother-of-pearl inlay. Similar decor was present in the dining room, where uncle and nephew were currently enjoying what Rikad thought would be a leisurely dinner.
CRACK!
The sharp sound rang out loud and clear in the small room, the source being a steamed crab claw, dashed to pieces on a smooth river stone placed between the two diners at the table.
Lord Rikad's branch of the Esila line hailed from the wetlands of Rontalis that opened up into the sea, and they regularly partook of the ocean's bounty. In antiquity, they were known to smash shellfish and other armored morsels against stones they carried with them to lay bare the tasty prizes within. This dining set configuration was a modern interpretation of that old tradition, with a communal stone for guests to open their shellfish.
Of course, such a homestyle service was available solely behind closed doors and shuttered windows and only then to Rikad and his close associates. Here in the Crownlands, such a 'barbarous and unseemly' artifact would be frowned upon by the prevailing Nexian culture and their gold and mother-of-pearl seafood forks that split the shell with a simple tap. But young Etholin labeled that languid dining as a boring conversational backdrop, inferior to the communal excitement of a well-placed strike.
Etholin’s spirited strike had a strong measure of anger behind it, a fact not lost on Rikad. "Steady now, lad. The aim is to crack the shell, not grind it to powder," chided Rikad, an otter clothed in well-tailored robes that melded practicality with muted elegance. He looked aged and gray compared to the ferret-like Etholin, clad in sumptuous silks and embroidery that assertively declared the young lord’s wealth and standing. Etholin hung his head in embarrassment. "Apologies, Uncle. I lost the reins of my temper."
"Well now, aggravated enough to make a mess of my dining set," observed the older gentleman. "It takes a great deal to get your humors churning like this, from my experience. So tell me lad, what urchin needles you?"
"Ugh, more Academy theatrics, what else? With Lords Auris Ping and Qiv Ratom being today’s star players."
"Ah, The Dunce and the Devil," remarked Rikad, nodding with understanding. This wasn't the first time his nephew had related the pestilent pair’s antics. "What two-act farce did they put on this time?"
"Ping opened with the usual blather about merchants being honorless tricksters, with Ratom swooping in to capitalize on the aftermath. Textbook at this point, really," explained Etholin, waving his hand dismissively. "It... it was just the way those two put forward their thoughts. In isolation, each would have been merely irritating. But with one following the other, I was ready to grind my fangs to nubs! To be cursed as a thief on one side, only to be praised as a thief on the other! It was like they were wielding ignorance as one would a greatsword, and managed to cut me with both edges! Gods, I wanted to THROTTLE the idiocy out of them!"
"‘Tis to be expected," said Rikad in consolation. "A great many noble families, even entire Realms at times, came about their status through force of arms or magical prowess, and thus they hold a dim view of commerce as a profession. It is a routine chore for us, navigating around them to find those with less absolutist views on the worth of goods, or more forgiving definitions of 'honest work'. An Adjacent Realm that does not cheat its creditors by altering the weight of its coins or debasing them with base metals and insisting otherwise while hiding behind the safety of their portal is worth its weight in gold."
"Sometimes I feel we ought to cut them out of our affairs entirely and deal with the Nexians, directly and exclusively," mused Etholin bitterly.
"Now, now, though your anger is justified, that's hardly reason for it to take hold of your mind's rudder," cautioned Rikad with a frown. "The Nexians have well-developed philosophies on trade in line with our own, but we only have the resources of a single Realm at our disposal, while the Nexians can leverage the bounty of their never-ending and mana-rich lands. Dealing solely with a behemoth that can devour us with a thought, no matter how frictionless those dealings are, is hardly my idea of a beneficial partnership."
Etholin sighed. "As always, your counsel is sensible, Uncle. Like I said, I lost the reins of my temper in a moment of weakness."
"Don't be so sour on things like this, lad. Our base nature gets the better of us at times, that is the animal within that we all struggle with. That you acknowledged such a lapse and took back the helm is proof that civility prevails. But, enough moping about!" Rikad jumped out of his seat with a little pep in his step. "Looks like we need to guide you back into good spirits, and I know JUST the thing for gentlemen such as us," concluded the elder merchant, twirling his whiskers playfully.
"Somehow I think a night at the theater or music halls will do little for me, Uncle. Or are you suggesting we seek respite at the bottom of a tankard?"
Rikad snorted derisively. "Oh please, I'm not senile yet, pup! Since when has SPENDING money brought joy to anyone worthy of the Esila name?" That made Elothin perk up a bit. Rikad continued, "No, I speak of a PROPER good time, I speak of..."
"COMMERCE!" they cried out in unison, fists held aloft in a triumphant pose. "Does that mean..." began Etholin.
"Indeed, we've just received the latest prototypes for the centralized mana ampoule, linking cords, and so-called 'mana motors'. Perfectly timed with the parts delivery from Cadet Booker not two days ago. Sukie, be a dear and clear this up, and have the remainder bundled up and sent to the young master's rooms at the Academy." Rikad motioned for the housekeepers to clear the table, then ushered Etholin to his private offices where they could discuss business strategy in depth.
Uncle Rikad’s offices were more than just a cozy place where Etholin could get a taste of home. Officially, Rikad was stationed here to oversee the administration of this branch office of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company. In reality, the office was a means to circumvent the Academy's prohibition against students communicating regularly with their home realm. Many aristocratic families employed similar cheats and dodges involving ‘familial duties’ and ‘business obligations’ to skirt the rules. If the Nexians cared about closing such loopholes, they didn’t show it. Perhaps the quaint maneuverings of their lessers amused the elves, who could say?
In this case, Rikad and Etholin were leveraging this loophole to the fullest, as they strategized on how to execute the next steps of their latest commercial venture, which Rikad would then relay to the head offices in Rontalis. As their planning session drew to a close, Rikad remarked on the time. “Well, it would seem that evening has fast become night. You are welcome to stay overnight here, as always, or perhaps you would prefer to retire to the Academy dormitories? Either way, I doubt you’d want to watch an old man doze off in his reading room listening to music.”
At the mention of leisure time, Etholin's eyes widened in surprise, and he began rooting around in his satchel. "Oh goodness, I entirely forgot!"
"What is it, lad?"
"Oh, Cadet Booker has provided us with more of her 'video archive files', transcribed to memory crystal," explained Etholin as he produced the set of crystals from his satchel, perfectly sized for the compact projection device that Rikad kept in his rooms.
"Ah, splendid! Another of the young lady's documentary presentations on commerce? Or perhaps one of her theatrical serials? Both are fine ways to while away the night."
“I’m not sure, but Cadet Booker said we would enjoy them a great deal,” said Etholin as he placed the crystal into the office's projector. As the machine spooled up, a moving image was cast onto the whitewashed wall across the room. As with all Earthrealm recordings, it was entirely mundane, bereft of any sign of manafields. Compared to mana based memory shards, Earthrealm recordings felt like faded sketches. None of that hindered the recording's impact on the viewers.
"Hoh? This is-" exclaimed Rikad, eyes lighting up in recognition.
An Earthrealmer with a thick, lustrous beard strode into view, his confidence and enthusiasm palpable despite the muted colors of the recording. The Earthrealmer’s voice rang out from the projector, carrying that same confidence and infectious enthusiasm like a barker worthy of the title of Grand Master.
Rikad and Etholin cheered in unison.
"HI! BILLY MAYS HERE, WITH ANOTHER GREAT PRODUCT!"

My first reddit post, hope you guys go easy on me.

1. Her

I met her (let's call her missybusy) through a common friend group. My friends from my previous school were still connected to me and I often used to meet them. She was new to that friend group and it was her first time coming for a meetup. My friend has a pretty big place so a lot of us could accommodate at the same time. I am usually quiet and I talk less. I was sitting in the corner on the sofa and then I saw her enter through the door along with one other friend of mine. And oh my god, I was in awe and amazement because truthfully, I had never seen a girl so pretty and radiant. Her eyes were bright like the moon at night, her complexion fair like milk and her smile was just so beautiful I can’t even describe it in words. She was the quiet one as well so we both were seated in the corner having small to no conversation. This was my first meeting with her and then we met on multiple other meetups and it was always a few words of exchange. One of my friends (let's call him Dave) was actually sort of close to her and they both used to talk frequently. However, some problems arrived between Dave and missybusy and so Dave reached out to me for help. So, I tried to solve matters by talking to both Missybusy and Dave and this is how I started talking properly to Missybusy. I tried to solve the matter and, in the process, I became friends with Missybusy. And she was really fun to talk to! all this time I perceived her to be quiet and less talkative but when I started to talk to her, I realized that she has an amazing personality besides being so pretty. And around that time my friendship with her strengthened and we used to talk frequently but not every day. And somewhere among these conversations I developed a liking for her and so did she. We used to flirt a lot and it was so fun and pure. This went on for around 3 to 4 months and we continued to flirt and talk. And it was around the time of January when she had returned from the farewell of her high school and she showed me the pictures and she looked gorgeous. An absolute angel. And that night of constant flirting I always kept mentioning about another her in front Missybusy, I did that so she wouldn’t suspect that I liked her. But then she got serious and she confessed that she liked me and I was in a small shock but then I confessed to her as well. At this point one would think that this is it, this is where you guys get into a relationship. But no, I actually asked her to wait for our final exams to be over and even she wanted this. Around One and a half month later we went on our first date. And it was peaceful but it was a very dull date to be honest I took her from one place to another which I feel was terrible. I screwed up the first date. But she told me it was really peaceful and so I didn’t think much of it back then. We kept talking over WhatsApp and Instagram for almost another 2 months but we were not in a relationship yet because she said she wanted time and I believed I shouldn’t pressure her so I kept waiting thinking we have all the time in the world. She was an introvert and she didn’t go out much she liked staying at home more and I sort of found this trait cute, although it meant we didn’t get to meet a lot. 2. Dates and Love In the month of June, we went for another date and spoiler alert, this is the day I fell in love with her. We went to watch a movie- Spiderman, into the spider-verse, and to be honest the movie was decently funny and every time Missybusy laughed I looked at her and adored her smile. I noticed she was shivering, she felt cold because the cinema hall was actually very cold so I wrapped my arm around her so she wouldn’t feel cold and she just came closer and the annoying armrest was like a wall in between. In that moment, I made my purest and most honest wish to God (I’m very spiritual and religious). I asked God to always keep Missybusy happy no matter what. After the movie we exited the hall and we were standing near the exit of the mall and just talking and laughing. It was a blissful moment I can never forget that moment ever. She just jokingly pushed me and I literally fell down and I’ve got to say it was funny as hell. And while I was on the ground I saw her laughing so loudly and openly that I… I also fell in love. I was madly in love. We laughed and talked for another half an hour more and then the both of us went home. While on my way to home I realized that I had fallen for her and everything around me felt so soothing, so amazing and I was so happy. This was my favorite day with her and my best day yet. It was perfect, it was divine it was full of amazement and I for the first time felt what is it like to love. One problem I’ve always had is expressing my feelings. I end up thinking what the other person is going to think about my feelings and I’m going to be judged. But I still told her I love you but she hadn’t said it back yet. Another date we went on that she considered her favorite day with me was when we went to have pizzas. At first, we just walked around, talked a lot and laughed together. Held hands and roamed the paths. Then we came across a pizza shop and decided to have some pizza. Oh boy did I know what the day was going to unfold. She has two siblings so she always had been a fast eater when it came to pizzas and ice creams and at that time, I didn’t know that she ate pizzas so quickly. She finished her whole pizzas before I could finish two slices and to be fair, I’ve always been a slow eater and I didn’t eat very spicy food at the time. So, she was done with her pizza way before I had. She added chili flakes to my pizza slice which slowed my pace even more and she just sat there watching me eat and laughed at me while I was just trying my best to eat the pizza. I realized how much she was enjoying this so I just prolonged this whole thing, I ate slower, I made faces and I even called her a bully and she was laughing so much and, in my heart, I enjoyed that so much. I usually don’t allow people to mess with my food but seeing her laugh I just wanted this moment to last forever. A couple of time later, when everyone was busy filling applications for college, one of our friends (let’s call her jane) hosted a birthday party. The plan was that she will invite us all to our house and then from there we’ll go to a restaurant. So Missybusy and I went to buy gift for our friend and we bought two identical plushies for Jane. Anyways, that day was so special. Because when we all went back home and when Missybusy and I were talking over WhatsApp she said ‘I love you’. For the first time ever, I heard it from her, although it was still on text, I was jumping around screaming in joy and a few tears of joy appeared. I was beaming with joy. I was so happy. This should mean we were finally together, right? Nope. Our colleges were about to start soon and we both were enrolled in a different college, she said she wanted to see how our college life is going to affect our relationship. I didn’t think of it much since what could’ve gone wrong? College started and one month in and I could feel the distance increasing between us and she seemed busier than usual obviously but somewhere because of this she wasn’t giving me much time either. It was a Sunday afternoon when I confronted her about this and she seemed to have realized this as well and she said she’s really sorry about all this. But in the end, she said a relationship doesn’t seem possible. I was devastated but I didn’t shout or yell at her I tried to convince her in everyway possible. But it was futile. It seemed impossible to convince her. And the call ended with a goodbye.

1. The real end

Another problem that I had this whole time was not knowing when to give up trying and give up trying to keep her happy instead of myself. One day later she texted me and she asked if we could meet because she believed I deserved a proper goodbye. And I eventually went to meet her the very next day. And we talked a lot. She said she felt really sorry and she told me that I deserved the best. She told me she was overwhelmed by college; she saw so many faces together and it was difficult for her. I was just super sad but anyhow I controlled myself and I didn’t cry in front of her. But she did, she started crying and I couldn’t hold back then, I hugged her and patted her head telling it’s alright. After she stopped crying, she said she’s sorry and she told me she changed her mind, she had some expectations from a relationship and one of them was physical touch and since we lived far from each other that seemed less likely but she said one has to sacrifice something for love, and I was just confused. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I said I’ll let her know. Less than an hour after we went back to our homes, I messaged her saying that I’m ready and I want to be with her. Because I thought God had given us a second chance and I believed that it is very much possible and I shouldn’t take too long to tell her.
Everything was perfect for about a month. It was the month of October; we had a small quarrel over something and the next day I called her to apologize. But something seemed different, something felt off. She said it’s okay but I could feel something was off. The worst day of the year and the worst time of that day. She told me her brother had run away from their house because of something that happened with him and a girl and their family was in a lot of panic, and she was obviously worried and scared. She prayed to God to return her brother and she promised that she will never date someone again. I stood there, without movement, without words and I realized what it had meant. It meant an official goodbye. Breaking up in a way one could never expect. She told me to promise to not tell this reason for breakup to my friends (common friend group). I was the one who was given up. The call ended with both of us saying I love you but for the last time ever. I wasn’t at home; I was outside in a park. I felt as if someone had stabbed me right through the heart. I couldn’t feel the wind anymore. People seemed to have stopped talking. The sky lost its color, the birds stopped chirping. My whole world had come to a pause. I couldn’t think straight. I returned home acting normal. My father had come to visit, he rarely visits the city because him and my mother are separated so I don’t get to see my whole family together often so I didn’t want to spoil it. My mother and sister knew about Missybusy. Later that night I told my mom and sister that we broke up and my mom was worried but I told her to not worry because I was fine and I never told them the actual reason either, I just keep telling them I got bored of her so that they won’t worry about me, besides I had created such a wonderful image of missybusy for them I thought I should let it be that way. I couldn’t tell me friends what had happened, I didn’t tell my mom and sister what actually happened. I just kept it to myself and it hurt. It hurt really bad. I felt as if I had given her my heart and she shattered it and threw it away. I never hated her for it and I always blamed the circumstances.

1. Life goes on

I was broken. And as any person after a breakup felt sad and sorrowful, so did I. But I kept my emotions bottled and never told anyone the actual reason. I did everything possible to keep myself distracted, I played games for many hours in a day, I talked to multiple people at once, I scrolled Instagram for hours and I was even addicted. I was losing control and I was falling in a huge pit. Days went by, I was in a terrible mental state. I attended every meetup possible even the ones I didn’t feel like going to, I was spending money like I was a millionaire or something, and I was running out of it. In the month of December, I went to visit my father and when he went for work I was alone and bored so I re-installed snapchat and just took a snap and sent it to all, I didn’t realize it went to Missybusy as well. She replied to that snap and asked how I am doing and we started a small conversation, we were just catching up and all. I was still in a poor mental state but honestly it just felt good talking to her again. And I asked her one question- “When exactly did you move on” and she replied she hadn’t. I felt bad because I realized it must’ve been difficult for her as well, college was tough for her. She told me she dated someone for two days. I was devastated yet again. So that promise for which we had to break up meant nothing. But for some reason a part of me was relieved anyway because she didn’t deserve all this. But what about me? I felt self-pity at that point honestly. When she was gone, I felt as if a part of me was taken away. I never asked for this and I never thought that I’ll have to go through all this when I first said I love you to her. Although we decided we should keep talking but I just couldn’t, after everything I could not just see her as a friend, I’ll always see her as my first love. I always try my best to smile and fool around my friends because that's who I was before I met her but I didn’t force it back then. When I returned to my city, I knew I couldn’t let these bad habits be my future. I knew what happened with me wasn’t fair but I couldn’t let that destroy my career or life. I started learning new things. I got into the stock market learnt a bit of trading and made good sum of money. I was still playing games and was still somewhat addicted. But slowly but surely, I was recollecting myself. I tried avoiding meetups with my school friends’ group because they always bring up this topic and I just hated that. I wanted peace. No matter how the days went by the night were always difficult, I didn’t hate her but I hated that the thought of her kept coming in my mind. It was always hard to fall asleep.

1. The Present- I’m still not over her completely. A part of me will always have hope for her to come back even though my mind knows otherwise but the heart is just weird. I met my school group friends after a long time and I felt good. There were four of us (Me, Dave and let’s call the other two Bob and Marley). I get along with Marley very well, he has his college in a different city so whenever he comes here, I make sure to meet him separately. When I met Marley, we went to a café just to have food and talk really, he asked me why does no one know the real reason for my and Missybusy's breakup. I just told him that it’s complicated. Then Marley told me that he heard from Bob and Dave that they told him that Missybusy started to like someone else that is why you both broke up. It was unprecedented to me. I felt weird, I felt a weird sting. I went back home and I messaged her to confront about this, I was taken away by my impulses. She assured me that wasn’t it and then we started talking like normal people do, talked about each other’s friends’, each other’s college life and so on. Then she asked if it’s possible to meet because it had been so long! And I was honestly scared to meet her but I just agreed anyway. 30th of may we met at a bowling and pool café. We sat there and talked about each other’s life. And honestly it seemed God did listen to my wish for keeping her happy because she had made good friends at college and obviously, she did have some problems but overall, she did seem happy and I was happy for that. The moment I saw her again after such a long time I realized nothing changed, she was just as pretty, her eyes were glowing just as usual and her fashion game was on the top. We made several eye contacts throughout and I could see a little pain in her eyes. It was the pain of guilt or pain of just losing, I won’t know for sure. When we were talking about our lives and what all had happened in these 7 and a half months, I felt so peaceful inside. But as soon as I mentioned what all I had to go through after out breakup she kept saying sorry and it felt as if I was just there to make her feel sorry. So, I refrained from talking about that. But then what did I have to talk about? Most of these months I had spent in misery and apart from that I told her about the little breakthroughs that I made in the market and I told her how I made some good friends at college. But that was it really. So, she did most of the talking. I was just listening. I didn’t want to talk about what I had to go through all these months because I felt I’ll just pressure her with more guilt. I didn’t come here to meet her and just listen to her saying sorry. I only cared about her smile.

My failure of expressing came back to me, I couldn’t tell her that I still loved her, I couldn’t tell her I still miss her. I just listened to her and laughed with her. She asked me once more before we left the park where we were walking at the moment, can we still we be friends? I was hesitant. But I told her we couldn’t. I told her we won’t be able to give time to this friendship and besides I have my competitive exams in December so I need to focus on that. But that’s just a part of it, I can never view her as my friend but always as the person I loved.
When we exited the park, we were standing near her car (oh she drives great by the way!). I told her to go while I wait for my uber. I pushed her away (not physically), I kept telling her to go away. That was it, no hugs just goodbyes. I wanted to hug her but I didn’t want the part of me that still had hope to grow. As she drove away, I realized in the end, I did end up hurting her by telling her to just go away. I came back home, acted normal as usual. Lied to my mom and sister again and told them the 'meeting was fine but it was boring'. The next day when I was home alone. I burst out crying. I never cried this much before. Only I know what I have lost. I didn’t want the part of me that had hope to grow but I also didn’t want it to just die. I cried for hours until eventually I washed my face and waited for my mom and sister to return. Missybusy was gone. I know what I’ve lost. And I blame myself for it. I can physically feel the pain in my heart at this point. It hurts so much. I wish I never met her after she told me a relationship isn’t possible. I wish I was never in love. I wish I never love again. I wish to be never this vulnerable again. I had gone through so much pain in those months and tried to act normal in front of everyone. I can’t tell how many thoughts crossed my mind daily. I just kept it bottled up within me. In the end I think God doesn’t like my heart. When I was in my mother’s womb it was found that I had a very faint heartbeat. As soon as I was born, I was taken into the ICU for surgery. Five years later it was found I have a low BPM. And so many years later my heart was broken into pieces. God doesn’t like my heart.

My grandmother or abuela is the sweetest lady. She owned the convenience store I helped out at and would always tell me traditional Mexican stories. I never would have thought anything bad about her until the accident. I was about seventeen and had just received my drivers license and somehow, drove my car into the barrier of the highway. My parents would have been furious at me if I hadn’t been injured. It wasn’t anywhere near life-threatening, just a concussion that made me a bit lethargic and nauseous. After I was discharged from the hospital, I had to take this prescription medication to help deal with the pain. One side-effect was it could cause hallucinations, but these were very unlikely to happen so I instantly agreed to take them, thinking that I would much rather a couple of hallucinations than the extreme pain I was feeling.
My first shift back at the convenience store with my abuela, I had my first hallucination. It wasn’t the ‘stereotypical’ hallucination, more as if someone had turned up the volume of the sounds around me. Annoying, but not scary.
My second hallucination a couple weeks later at the convenience store was less so. My abuela was in the back restocking the fridge of the store. She was always stronger than your average 78 year old, surprisingly stronger than me. That was when it happened, the second hallucination. But this was different. Instead, I was in this hallway. It looked like the hallway to the stock room. I stumbled around, confused at the surroundings. “Abuela! Where are you? I’m having another one,” I tried to call out, but it was like my voice went hoarse, unable to speak. I tried to speak again but this time I couldn’t speak at all. I continued walking down the hallway, the tile was darker and covered in dust, like it had been here for much longer than 40 years. “Abuela…?” I managed to call out. I noticed a corner and slowly turned, making sure to not run into something that was actually there. My heart sunk. The same hallway. The same paintings, but slightly distorted. Colours were less saturated, faces were less recognisable. This continued on for around seven more hallways, becoming more and more distorted as I continued on. Every corner I reached, I called out for my abuela, tears welling in my eyes from fear like I was a little girl again.
Then I saw her. She wasn’t right. She looked stripped of emotion, a blank canvas. Like she was a shell of her soul. Just I went to call for her, I was back. I was sitting against the tiled wall of the convenience store. It had been five hours.
I grabbed my backpack and left. I immediately went home, climbing up the fire escape to not wake up my mother. But despite my efforts, she had already been awake, her eyes red from what I assumed was crying.
“Mama? Are you okay?” I asked her, she seemed less inconsolable and more in shock.
“Yes yes. Mija, your abuela is unwell. She cannot remember… a lot. Doctors believe it is dementia.”
My heart sunk. I swear she had been in the restocking room, but what if that was part of the hallucination as well? “I had another hallucination, Mama,” I told her as she grabbed some stuff around the kitchen. She sighed and shook her head, “Valeria, don’t play with me right now, you were off your medication a couple of weeks ago, remember when you had that first hallucination?”
My heartbeat accelerated. I had sworn that I had took that medication the morning of, and that hallucination was real.
I visited my abuela a week later. She didn’t know who I was, she only remembered memories from when she was a young girl. What shocked us the most is that she told us about when she had gone missing. A week she spent in the forest, and anything past that, she didn’t remember.
Maybe I was just scared and dreaded the news that she had dementia, so that night I scoured the internet for what could cause memory loss after an event like that. But without needing to search a single thing, my heart dropped as I remembered a tale my abuela used to tell me. She said it was not a famous Mexican folk tale, mainly in the rural town she grew up in. But La Somba was a creature that could take possession over your memories and life until it took over someone else. It was said to make the person appear normal until it tried to take over someone else. In these cases, the person would appear lifeless, unlike themselves. And the person would be stuck in an eternal maze until La Somba successfully took over their memories
I logged off the computer. My abuela. She was strong because of La Somba. She didn’t have dementia, La Somba took her memories. And I was the next victim. But I was fine? I had full control over all my actions. I tried telling my mother, but she told me to settle down and that I was hurting my family. Abuela has dementia, and that is final. But as I watch my abuela confused in a hospital bed of her surroundings, completely void of any memory, I wonder: How do I know that they haven’t already taken mine?
I’m writing this for my sake. Maybe if I write down this I can remind myself if I do lose my memory. Maybe.

1. Divide and Conquer - 4/5 (Slapper intro. Pretty good for a pilot episode, but it felt like they rushed into character drama a little too quickly. Like, I only JUST now met Robin and Cyborg for the first time, so this big breakup doesn't really hit as hard as I imagine it could had it been a later episode. The animation of this show is very fun and different from typical action cartoons, though. Stuff like the characters turning into chibis and going horrendeously off-model for gags is great stuff.)
2. Sisters - 3/5 (Immediately more character conflict and drama. I'd say this one works a little better, but again, I only really now just met Starfire, so there's not a hugely established friendship between her and the Titans enough yet. On the other hand, perhaps that's for this episode's benefit, as it's about her feeling replacable, which would not be very realistic after having been established as BFFs for several seasons. And I did think her and Robin's chat was really sweet, so whatever. Also, Blackfire is just a color swap of Starfire. Sunny Tennyson much?)
3. Final Exam - 4/5 (So this episode was the first to air, but is not the "real" pilot. Strangely enough, it would almost have worked better as a pilot, since it introduces the characters in their HQ immediately followed by showing how they work as a team. The H.I.V.E. aren't the most interesting villains but Gizmo was pretty amusing. What was with the lighting in the scene where they get out of the water though? Looked strange.)
4. Forces of Nature - 4/5 (Thunder's Sonic eyes is freaking me out. Please separate them... Anyway, decent episode, even if it's mostly just Thunder and Lightning wreaking havoc and getting moral lessons from Beast Boy.)
5. The Sum of His Parts - 5/5 (Fixit. Wow, clever name. Sarcasm aside, pretty great episode. It's interesting to see Cyborg's abilities explored, and the eerieniess of Fixit about to forcibly make him a full robot was highly engaging. Although while that IS the main story, the majority of this episode is spent with the other Titans fighting Mumbo Jumbo for some reason. Not that it's back, since I liked the zany wackiness of it. But it definitely didn't need take up that much time. Also, he briefly became a Canadian from South Park.)
6. Nevermore - 4/5 (Thunder and Lightning, Mumbo Jumbo, and now Doctor Light? So far this show has had really lame villains. Not that it's a huge detriment, because unlike other superhero cartoons, the focus in most episodes seem to be more on the inner workings of the Titans themselves as opposed to whatever villain they're facing, so I guess they just pick goofy ones to jumpstart the actual plots. Which in this episode was pretty amusing. Raven's a lot more mellow than her appearance would let on. I thought she would nearly murder Cyborg and Beast Boy for breaking into her room, but she was just slightly upset. Oh and, uh, what was up with intro being in Japanese?)
7. Switched - 4/5 (Just as I mentioned the villains being "lame" in the last episode, I thought Puppet King was pretty interesting. He's not like, compelling as a character or anything, but I found the puppet schtick fairly amusing to watch. As for the actual story, while "body swap" is not the most original idea for these kinds of shows, I still found it endearing how Raven and Starfire learned about one another. But the fact that they still keep their voices makes me go grrr.)
8. Deep Six - 3/5 (There's that Japanese intro again! Apparently it's used for episodes that are more comedic, while the English is for the "serious" ones. Guess I'll see if that assessment holds up under scrutiny. So this is mostly an underwater episode, which, while not a bad setting by default, feels pretty uninspired when it's nothing but blue backgrounds and rocks. Raven horning for Aqualad sure was a sight to behold, though. Felt a bit out of character.)
9. Masks - 4/5 (Wow, Red X was Robin? No way. It's not like they had the exact same voice or anything. Anyway, as good as this episode might be, it's really just some setup for Slade's schemes, which is really only vaguely hinted at whatever it is. As a result, I don't really have much to say. Starfire's lecture about Robin not trusting them was a bit "wha" though, because, yeah, if they knew Red X was Robin, they would've held back, and it would not be convincing.)
10. Mad Mod - 3/5 (Sheesh, this episode hurts my eyes. It's a funny one, though. And it has the Japanese intro, so I guess that fact about it was true. It's nothing but the Titans chasing some Brit for the entire episode. 20 minutes of pure zaniness. And Mad Mod was a pretty amusing gag villain. I also really liked the song "K2G" that played during that Scooby-Doo parody montage.)
11. Car Trouble - 3/5 (Gizmo drove away with Cyborg's car JUST as he arrived to confront the guys who initially stole it. He would have been right in the vicinity of it, how did he not notice it driving away? LOL. Also why do the two crooks calmly tiptoe around and vaguely say they "lost it" instead of just "some guy drove away with it right behind you like 10 seconds ago!".)
12/13. Apprentice - 5/5 (Slade merely wanting an apprentice is a bit of a confusing motivation. Like, for what purpose? Once he's fully molded Robin, what does he intend to do next? Take over the world? Not that it matters, since the conflict of Robin having to betray his friends to save their lives was thrilling enough. Although part 2 is obviously the better half, because the first is mostly just setup for that. Robin also makes a sick Batman reference, but can't directly mention him because of the Bat-embargo. LOL. Side note, the effect of the probes being the characters becoming...orange with a buncha circles wiggling around them was odd.)
14. How Long is Forever? - 5/5 (Robin just brooding in front of the speakers was funny. LOL. Anyway, the way time travel is handled here is confusing. I suppose it always is, but here it seems to function so that during the period Starfire was travelling 20 years, she simply did not exist during them. But she came back to the past in the end, meaning historically, she always returned. So instead of time travel looping around itself, I guess in this series when you travel, you're just gone. And if you return, the timeline you go back to will be a completely different one. That aside, it was neat to see the future Titans, although sheesh my guy Beast Boy aged horribly. And I find it hard to believe the entire city would become a dystopia like this, considering the Titans aren't the only heroes around.)
15. Every Dog Has His Day - 5/5 (Pretty solid for a zany comedy episode. Beast Boy becoming a dog to get bitches (pun intended) was funny. And the whole schtick of the Titans mistaking an actual green dog for him lent itself to a lot of good comedy. The reveal that that the dog is actually intelligent and can speak sort of "ruins" what made that aspect funny in the first place, but it doesn't affect the episode's quality or anything, so that's just a nitpick. Soto was pretty freaky though. Reminded me of Tiny from Ben 10.)
16. Terra - 4/5 (Yikes, Terra is scrawny. She's like a walking stick. I guess she has earth powers, although it's not really explored how or why. Though, at this point in the show, I've obviously learned that stuff is not something it prioritizes. Anyway, this episode is very good, but it's mostly just introduction to Terra and then a teaser that she is Slade's new apprentice victim. I'm interested for where that goes, but I don't have much else to say about this one specifically.)
17. Only Human - 4/5 (Not to go all Facts & Logic:tm:, but humans also have a limit to which they can use their muscles, so on a technical sense, Cyborg's conflict in this episode doesn't make much sense. Especially since he exceeds 100% by the end anyway, showing it was always possible. Not to diminish the story or anything, because I did find his conflict around it genuinely engaging. And the moment when he rises up to the challenge to actually beat Atlas is obviously very cathartic and rewarding. But also LOL that Atlas picked a beef with Cyborg over losing in a video game.)
18. Fear Itself - 4/5 (Here I spent the entire episode expecting the "obvious" reveal that everything scary that happened was a prank by the Titans to prove to Raven that she can be scared. Guess I was a little overconfident in that since it turns out she was just accidentally doing it herself.)
19. Date with Destiny - 4/5 (Hey, it's Spider-Man. I mean, Fang. That was a pretty freaky character design. Just a guy with a huge spider as his entire head. This episode felt like it ramped up the wacky animation to 11, particularly with nearly every motion Kitten makes. And that bit with Starfire's mouth falling into the punch stuck out, too. That aside, pretty cute episode. Starfire's jealousy is amusing.)
20. Transformation - 3/5 (Does the Titan Tower only have bathroom? That's ridiculous. It's huge! Anyway, not to complain about power inconsistency or whatever, but Starfire being able to instantly fly several hundred thousand kilometers away from Earth pretty much instantly, not to mention be able to breathe in space is a bit excessive. She's not Green Lantern... That aside, this was alright. It's neat to find out more about Tamaranians, but Starfire has already learned the "my friends will like me no matter what" lesson before.)
21. Titan Rising - 4/5 (Why is Raven so pissy at Terra? Like, I know she's moody and has a low temper, but raging at someone just trying their best? A bit out of character. That said, I still enjoyed the rivarly. I like Terra on the team. It's fun that they're expanding the roster.)
22. Winner Take All - 3/5 (Why does the Master of Games need people to lose a battle before he can absorb them and their powers? Why doesn't he just do it to all of them on the spot? I found it funny that Beast Boy lost the first round. When the episode began I was expecting some epic final battle between the three main characters. But nope, he just loses and is gone for the rest of the episode.)
23. Betrayal - 4/5 (That was a bit of a rushed betrayal. Terra is introduced in one episode, instantly leaves within the same one, makes a big comeback 4 episodes later, and betrays them in the very next while it's treated like some devastating loss to the team. Well, there is the game episode in between. But also she isn't even in that save for a silent cameo in one shot in the end, so that barely counts! That said I still liked the emotional beats of the story from Beast Boy's perspective and such, so I'm not hating on how this was done. I just think this could've meant more if she actually was a member of the Titans for the episodes leading up to this betrayal. On a lighter note, I liked Beast Boy's theatrical scenarios of how he should have asked her out.)
24. Fractured - 3/5 (So in-between the previous, serious, dramatic episode, and the upcoming 2-part finale which will obviously be about Terra, they felt they needed an episode about some annoying imp doing zany nonsense. Not that the show is a stranger to that stuff, but this wasn't nearly as charming as Mad Mod.)
25/26. Aftershock - 4/5 (Pretty standard "epic finale" fare, but obviously it's good because I liked this Terra arc, as rushed as it may have been. Her turning on Slade and even being the one who ends up killing him was pretty thrilling stuff. I didn't think they'd actually go that far, considering he's like the main villain of the series. But while that final battle between Beast Boy and Terra was pretty great due to the resonance and such it contains, I feel like the episode took up a lot of time having the Titans fight various miscellaneous characters leading up to it, that just wasn't as interesting. Side note, Raven and Terra just being colored completely brown to simulate being muddy stuck out to me. I don't know why. Mainly because most shows would draw wiggly lines to simulate the muddiness, not just one blank color.)
27. Deception - 4/5 (I know this show is episodic so stuff like this is bound to happen, but it is a bit eyerolling that characters seem to just learn the same lessons over and over. Like in this episode, Cyborg is beating himself up over being a cyborg, but by the end he accepts himself the way he is. A lesson he has learned in 2 episodes prior to this already. Not that I didn't think it was well done. His chat with Starfire was sweet, and the whole thing about him being undercover was entertaining too, so it's not much of an issue.)
28. X - 4/5 (So some guy steals Robin's Red X costume and takes up the mantle... But he also conveniently sounds exactly like Robin? Sure, because THAT makes sense. For the most part this episode is just baiting you into wanting to know who Red X is, but then NEVER answers it. Pretty rude. Nevertheless, it was still interesting. Also Professor Chang's design reminds me of Inspector 13 from Ben 10.)
29. Betrothed - 3/5 (Titans just casually flying to another planet like it's a mere road trip. OK. Is The Batman funding this or what? Also, that scene of Robin outside the spaceship made me LOL. Anyway it's interesting to see Tamaran thoroughly explored upon and such, but it's a bit absurd that every single person on the planet wears basically the exact same outfit.)
30. Crash - 4/5 (Cyborg's cybernetic features are confusing. Firstly, how could a digital virus affect his brain, which is clearly a biological component? Second, how and why are there red blood cells flowing in the "veins" of his mechanical parts? Nitpicking logic in a goofy joke episode aside, this was great stuff. I liked that they had to reluctantly get Gizmo to help, and Cyborg going nuts was just entertaining in its own right. I think the interior of his cybernetic parts were interestingly designed, and Beast Boy as an amoeba is just absurd but fun. Although it's inconsistent that he's able to talk while in that form, since he can't when he's any other animal.)
31. Haunted - 5/5 (This was pretty grim, but very thrilling. Given Slade was established as like the main villain of the show, even though it seemed obvious he was imaginary, I kept asking myself if he was actually real or not to come capacity, since I doubt the series would get rid of its main villain that easily. And well, they DID imply somebody else activated the hallucination chemical from the mask, so, like, yeah, he's clearly coming back. That said, if it was all in Robin's head, how did he get all those bruises and rips in his clothes? By punching the air? And why did Beast Boy have a cold in this episode? I guess they needed some comedic relief so it wouldn't be too grim for Cartoon Network.)
32. Spellbound - 4/5 ("Kardiak, you're under arrest". I get it. Because he is a heart. Pretty amusing. Anyway, yikes, Beast Boy sure was mean for NO reason. But the way they made up in the end with Raven even joining him and Cyborg's game of "stankball" was cute. As for Malchior, well, I thought he was a girl until he spoke.)
33. Revolution - 3/5 (Pretty much a rehash of the first Mad Mod episode. He has the Titans trapped in a maze of illusions and they chase him around and defeat him. Which I get is the whole gimmick since he's just a joke villain, so yeah. This was good, but not AS good. The pop-art backgrounds were pretty cool, and I liked how the British flag was the sky in the background the entire time. Plus, British Beast Boy was funny. The "message" about patriotism, democracy or whatever, felt a but muddled.)
34. Wavelength - 3/5 (I guess Brother Blood is growing to be Cyborg's arch nemesis or something. This was pretty average, so I barely got anything to say. Aqualad asks for help, so they take down Blood's underwater weapon and...Yeah. But I liked Bumblebee, and her fight scene with Cyborg had a lot of funny visuals. The bit where he shuts the door on her was amusing too.)
35. The Beast Within - 5/5 (This was great. You'd think it would be fairly predictable to tell a werewolf story with Beast Boy, but the execution really makes it work. Yeah, it's obvious he's acting strange because of the chemicals from the beginning. But his gradual shift from acting macho, to asshole, to picking a physical fight with Raven for NO reason was interesting because of how bizarrely out of character it is. Especially when his "beast" form took the Raven beef to the next level. But on top of that I especially enjoyed the twist that the Adonis guy from the beginning was a second werewolf, and the actual culprit. Robin seemed awfully quick to immediately lock Beast Boy away or straight up murder him though. For a guy who himself was blackmailed into being evil, you'd think he would be more considerate to other possibilities.)
36. Can I Keep Him? - 3/5 (This was alright. Pretty simple concept for a comedy episode is all. Beast Boy fosters a giant maggot and then it becomes bigger and dangerous. Kind of amusing how Starfire got more attached to it in like a day than Beast Boy did while hiding it for months. As a sode note, I liked the design of Rancids robot dog and dinosaur.)
37. Bunny Raven... or ...How to Make A Titananimal Disappear - 3/5 (Pretty good for a zany episode. The Titans as animals were amusing designs, and Beast Boy becoming a lamp instead was funny. Mumbo's song was catchy.)
38/39. Titans East - 4/5 (I like the concept of Titans East, although the only member I find particularly interesting is Bumblebee. I'm always fond of shrinking abilities for the potential practical uses that often go unacknowledged. She never really does anything with it besides shoot some lasers in the bad guys face, though. Speedy and Aqualad are kind of generic, and Más y Menos are just gag characters, so yeah. Cyborg's conflict here was pretty interesting, but the way he gets decapitated piece by piece was pretty brutal. But him sticking it to Brother Blood was pretty awesome, and I liked the sweet ending where he decides to stick with the Titans.)
40. Episode 257-494 - 3/5 (Steve Irwin gets mauled by a bear. Anyway, this episode is decent, but it's just an endless stream of references to other things, many of which I am not familiar with, so even as a comedy episode, a lot of the jokes don't work very well. That woman from the lame soap opera was still with Cyborg in the real world by the end because THAT makes sense. But it was funny.)
41. The Quest - 4/5 (Yeah, it was pretty obvious the old lady was the great master. Robin going through challenges was pretty entertaining though, but that snake one... He won by merely grabbing the snake? Sure, okay. The rest of the team dressing up as and pretending to be Robin was probably the best part, especially even Raven joining in.)
42. Birthmark - 4/5 (Welcome back, Slade. This was a very thrilling episode. Really just has you asking tons of questions. Like how is Slade back, why is he targeting Raven now, etc. But also, it was interesting how this potrays Robin and Raven as having a very close friendship. I mean I guess all the Titans are good friends, but these two haven't been explored as a duo at all, so it was interesting, if not a bit awkward.)
43. Cyborg the Barbarian - 4/5 (Silly concept, but I like it. Though given how time travel has been established in this show, Cyborg can't really do anything to affect the future, because everything he will do has already happened in the past. I like the design of the demon... Thingies)
44. Employee of the Month - 4/5 (I found it interesting how this acknowledges Beast Boy a physical task, as opposed to Raven or Starfire's breezy levitating. Beast Boy working at a meat shop itself was pretty funny, and the Tofu villain in the end sells the whole thing for me. LOL.)
45. Troq - 3/5 (The racism episode. The fact that we know what word "troq" is supposed to represent makes it very weird how often we see it used. I mean imagine an episode where they used the actual word this much... Yeah. I think this is pretty well done and what not in terms of being sweet and emotional, especially Cyborg's talk with Starfire and Robin instantly changing his mind on Val-Yor once he finds out. But the action plot they wrapped all this around didn't really have me hooked, and it's a pretty big chunk of the episode.)
46. The Prophecy - 3/5 (This is neat and all, but for the most part it really feels like nothing but setup for a grander plot than something to stand on its own. So while I'm sure the context of this will make the season finale more rewarding, this is just okay. I did get a kick out of Raven pulling up Slade as he was trying to leave just to jerk him around a little.)
47. Stranded - 4/5 (This is a fun episode, but it has one of the worst common TV tropes of all time; Character refusing to explain an easily explainable situation this creating conflict because of misunderstanding. I mean, yeah, Starfire DID describe what a "girlfriend" was, but then she just described what could also be platonic. Robin could have easily explained to her that there's a difference between platonic and romantic.)
48. Overdrive - 3/5 (I like the Billy Numerous theme music, but that's about it really.)
49. Mother Mae-Eye - 3/5 (Well, funny at times, I'll give it that. But ehhhh. Yeah, I don't know, there isn't much to be said here. Liked the scene where Robin spiked up his hair.)
50/51/52. The End - 5/5 (Yeah, pretty epic. The Titans using Raven's power was also cool. I was hoping to finally see Slade's face when his mask was knocked off, but I suppose a creepy half decomposed skeleton is also interesting... Don't really understand Trigon's motivation for, well, all of this though. He wants to take over the Earth and get rid of all life on it, just so he can sit in a giant chair and relax? I mean, the real story here is supposed to be about Raven, so I know it doesn't matter, but that's pretty thin for what's supposed to be the most threatening villain of the show to date.)
53/54. Homecoming - 3/5 (I love specific character focused episode where we see something more personal to them, but Beast Boy's background isn't that interesting and most of the team besides Elastigirl weren't very interesting. But I do find Negative Man's powers cool. Brain is a pretty cool villain too, I love his voice, really intimidating vibes. How are any of the Doom Patrol alive after what happened though? Never explained)
55. Trust - 4/5 (An entire Hot Spot episode? Interesting, since I always find it fun when shows divert from the main cast. Overall fun, but that ending was pretty frustrating though. Hot Spot was so obviously Madame Rouge!)
56. For Real - 3/5 (I do like the Titans East, but this was disappointing. I was hoping for more of a genuine episode in their own town, seeing their feats as a team and friends, as opposed to goofing off with Control Freak. Also one of the villains Brain had lined up two episodes ago is in jail here?? Were Más y Menos permanently translated to English for the audience to understand them? I mean I guess I prefer it, since having them two speaking what sounds like gibberish to the rest of the team makes it hard for them to appear as genuine friends, especially since they're mostly attached to each other as opposed to the whole team.)
57. Snowblind - 4/5 (Already loved Red Star and then he's immediately killed before my eyes!! Whyyyy! I was hoping he would gain control of his powers and aid the Titans. How has he still been getting tanks to fill up with radioactive liquid for so many decades though? And that's a pretty small room for two tanks a day over the span of decades.)
58. Kole - 3/5 (This entire season so far the Titans have just been around the world, given last time they were in what appears to be Russia, and now it's somewhere in Scandinavia. It's been an interesting change of pace, sure, but this episode wasn't terribly interesting. They meet some caveman with a little girl, Dr. Light is up to no good, etc.)
59. Hide and Seek - 3/5 (Bobby turning out to be real was a pretty fun "twist". Got dragged out for a while though.)
60. Lightspeed - 4/5 (Another non-Titan focused episode. Kid Flash is randomly horning on Jinx because why not, I guess? This Jinx redemption came out of absolutely nowhere, given how little we've seen of her prior. But Kid Flash is fun, so whatever.)
61. Revved Up - 3/5 (This episode is neat, but given how they are racing for the entirety of it, the constant action was pretty exhausting to sit through. Why did Raven sneezing and Starfire saying the Tamaranean equivalent of "bless you" inform all the villains they are Titans though? Also, infuriating we never got to see what's in the briefcase.)
62. Go! - 5/5 (Love seeing the origins of the team, though it's pretty oddly convenient that these 5 superpowered people (well 4 with powers) just so happened to stumble upon each other, same day, same time, same situation. I imagine shortly after this they occasionally stumbled upon each other trying to fight the same bad guy every so often and decided to start a team. Which would have been more realistic for their first interactions, not all 5 meeting at once. Pretty on the nose Batman reference but they still absolutely refuse to mention Batman.)
63/64. Calling All Titans!/Titans Together - 5/5 (Why is Beast Boy climbing up the mountain as a goat instead of just... Flying? This was quite the epic episode, I enjoyted the intensity of seeing nearly every hero be ambushed separately by different villains. It's a bit strange for the final part to mostly be from Beast Boy's perspective, and with the strange heroes he ends up meeting. I was expecting to see how the rest of the Titans made it to the Brotherhood of Evil base, but it's probably better this way, since it leaves it up to imagination, and it doesn't really matter. Seeing the brain finally defeated when all heroes went into battle was satisfying. Jericho's powers were pretty cool.)
65. Things Change - 4/5 (The amount of quiet and awkward scenes with that sad music was... Well, very strange. The whole Terra thing is a bit weird like, sure, if someone you don't know jumps up to you, acts as if they know you and tells you you've gotten amnesia, you'd think they were insane. But Beast Boy surely has photo proof? Or if not, he could get testimony from the rest of his team?? No??? It doesn't have to jog her memory back, but at the very least she'd realize the truth and know who she was instead of just being so vague and saying cryptic things. Some things she said implied perhaps she did know, because any real person would just yell out the weirdo stalking them, not give emotional speeches about the girl you once knew being gone etc. But all that aside, why did Slade send a robot out just to tell Beast Boy that he had nothing to do with what's happened to Terra? Also, that creatures ability to turn himself into any matter he touches is really cool.)
Movie: Trouble in Tokyo - 3/5 (This has pretty much one of the things I dislike most about movies based on TV shows; Instead of actually focusing on the iconic aspects of the series in question, it goes out of it's way to be as far removed from it as possible by setting it in a whole other country. Bummer, because an ideal Titans movie would really focus on the whole team, and THEIR city. Instead, they're just in Tokyo stopping a corrupt commander (who I knew was gonna be the bad guy from the get-go) who's creating crimes to be a hero. And the thing is with these kind of movies is, perhaps if they actually did focus on the characters relationships, it would be good. But instead they are mostly separated the entire time, just goofing off. And cue the obligatory relationship between Robin and Starfire. I mean, it was obviously going to happen, so it's not as if I mind it, but the drama feels pretty forced. They're heroes, yes, but they lounge around and take time off all the time when criminals aren't around. There really isn't much more to say about this. High-tier average. Although, admittedly, I was finding myself ready to close my eyes and fall asleep nearing the hour mark.)
-The Lost Episode - 3/5 (It's half the length of a normal episode, so it's hard to judge it, given it's not even serious at all. A fun little watch, for sure. Beast Boy walking around with a boombox on his shoulders was funny because of how dated it is.)
-New Teen Titans Shorts (Can't really rate them since they're just shorts, but here's a few throwaway thoughts: I like the artstyle. The lowercase T tower is a funny visual gag. Was Blackfire just killed? So, they finally actually showed Batman on screen (technically)? The hell was up with Cyborg's voice in one of these?)

This is my first post, as someone who's been exposed to lethal levels of kri content for years, here's my understanding of them. Detailed analysis, forgive me.
Akri - tries very hard to look nonchalant but is in fact very... Chalant. 😄 Cares a lot about how she comes across, makes it a point to put out an image of someone who's mindful and soulful. Might have realised too late that being pretty isn't going to cut it in today's media field with highly talented people, so tries to make it look like being a foodie and travelling are actual skills. Also being aesTHetic and organised. Lives for the "good girl " tag, from everyone . Puts in lots of effort and time into this. Kudos. As far from nonchalant as it can get. Will not ask for likes and shares in her vlogs like every other cheap vlogger (she does vlogging for fun and is in fact a film actor who deserves more film projects, as she'll tell you in every interview) , but will in fact give you a very meaningful advice, something that encourages you to be mindful about life. The nonchalance has gone way too far that it looks fake af when she tries to act excited about food, singing, dancing, etc. Takes grandparents for outings and vlogs about it, because how the fans drool over paasam for oldies. Preachy.
Dikri- deeply wounded middle child who didn't get a lot of validation growing up, probably the attention was hoarded by older sibling who proudly admits to disliking the younger one from day one. Might have tried to earn her family's love as a child, which should've been given unconditionally, but never measured up to the stds set by the older one, whose need for approval and admiration made for a sense of rivalry than feelings of siblinghood. Decided it wasn't worth it to try anymore, and turned into a rebel. Seeking validation from outside, falling for love bombing and a guy who'll praise her constantly, treat her like the main character and shower superficial compliments on skin color and beauty. Probably has low self esteem, having been contrasted against siblings who are more traditionally pretty. Will keep telling everyone she's pretty not realising how silly it sounds, because insecurities are loud. Posts for her mother's bday in the most impersonal way 'hbd mathaji' etc, acts rude with family in vlogs, bitter about the partiality and lack of attention given her as a child. Puts on hyper independence as an armour.
Ishkri- mentally checked out from the drama. Looks resigned and indifferent as a result. Seems like a nice person. Probably got a lot of validation from everyone growing up because how pretty can someone be! All the positive attention, halo effect probably helped her grow into that person who's actually low key, secure and content with herself.
Hakri- the pampered one, felt the effect of sibling rivalry the least among them owing to her young age, the older ones seem to want to be Hakris favorite, Akri especially going so far as to say it'd have been nice if it was just herself and the youngest as siblings, the bond would've been better. Seems to be closest to Ishkri, also very out of touch with reality thanks to being very privileged and cute. Comes across shallow but actually cares about being nice to others imho. Should've joined a college in another state away from..
Sikri: that parent who's extremely partial towards whichever child caters to her own needs the most. Openly tells the world who her favorites are, how she prefers travelling with one daughter for the expensive resorts they stay at etc. Probably feels like she could've married better and not for love, since she cannot stop telling everyone about her schooling in Ooty, childhood abroad and overall past glory. Realises her need for luxury through her kids, rewarding the one who affords the most luxury lifestyle for her. Immature. Never encouraged kids to pick up a book and read. Thereby limiting their sense of self to looks/money. Talking in English imo to rub in the fact, ooty educated formerly rich woman fallen to a life of normalcy. Favors the kids who are prettier and more successful. Lives in reflected glory.
Kriku: disdainful towards the wannabe attitude of his partner. Indifferent to the child who seems to pamper mamma just for cookie points and all the antics for attention and approval. Seems to sense the unfairness of parents picking favorites among their children, therefore chooses to hold Dikri close and tries to tell her she's valued. Except for the bjp thing, seems grounded and normal. Might not be very intelligent. But means well.
Tl;dr. Bad parenting resulting in rivalry among siblings. In a culture where toxic parenting is a taboo topic, a family of influencers who show us what not to do.
I wrote this because I know they love reddit as much as any of us. Also to say, people see through it all. All that said. Big fan. Grateful for the entertainment.
To Akri - it's OK to be human and flawed. Reading will enrich the mind and actually add substance. To Dikri - you've won at life, nothing as pretty as being humble.
Op suffers from acute joblessness, as you might have noticed. Not successful or pretty enough, sigh.😔

Here's a big fat receipt that should be added to the archive, I pulled an all-nighter compiling this into one post. Major credit goes to the vigilant members of this sub & the great information I was able to scour through .
Congrats on identifying Drake's bad behavior with women. I was unsure about the best way to present this because it requires some delicacy & subtlety. During one of my recent deep dives for another piece, I discovered something quite unsettling. I'm aware that there will be a lot of criticism to my post, but I had to say it. People will tell me it's nothing, but Drake's actions speak for themselves.
Before jumping in, I don’tunderstand why this behaviour is getting unchecked. My narrative is completely alleged & all of this is public information.
Let's start from the beginning shall we…
May, 2010: Drake calls a girl on stage fondles the girl and kisses her neck and the crowd cheers along with it. In his defense, he doesn't ask the girl her age but how does it make it any better. He still fondled her without asking for consent in front of a crowd of people.
When the girl tells him that she's only 17 he tries to remedy the situation by saying "how the hell she looks like this" and "you thick". He jokes he can't go to jail and the crowd cheers along with it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp5b9dW1nrA
If this was the only time that Drake did something like this, I would have called it an honest mistake but sadly it's not it.
Year 2016: https://mtonews.com/drake-groomed-hailey-baldwin-at-age-14-then-started-dating-her-at-18
Drake knows Hailey Bieber(nee Baldwin) when she was 14 years old and has been a "good friend" to her. They know each other 'cause Hailey is bestfriends with Kendall and Kylie.
In 2016, Hailey was just nineteen where as Drake was twenty-nine. It's legal but here is the deal. Drake knows her since she was fourteen and Drake is good friends with Justin Bieber, Hailey's then ex boyfriend. Him going after Hailey immediately after her breakup with Justin makes zero sense, ethics wise.https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/drake-is-pursuing-hailey-baldwin-w20858I mean why would someone go after his friends ex who's 10 years his junior?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-90gjG044IQ
Drake also got himself a similar "h" charm necklace that Hailey had a penchant for wearing. Ignore Justin in the background for a second and here it is. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/V_91WJgGVQw
Year 2018: Drake and Bella Harris met when she was sixteen. Her dad's a famous producer. https://www.kanyetothe.com/threads/drake-and-bella-harris-timeline.8088605/
When she turned eighteen Drake rented an entire restaurant for her birthday. Um what? I get that they can be friends but she's just 18 and he's 31. https://www.eonline.com/news/968171/drake-and-rumored-girlfriend-bella-harris-enjoy-intimate-dinner https://www.wmagazine.com/story/bella-harris-who-is-drake-girlfriend
Also, in 2018 Drake went after the weeknd's then ex girlfriend Bella Hadid. Abel and Drake have been mates and collaborates since 2010. Drake helped Abel to step in the spotlight while Abel helped with writing Drake's album, Take care and also lend his vocals.
After her split from the weeknd and around 2018, Drake threw Bella her 21st birthday party. Looks like drizzy really likes throwing birthday parties. https://www.elle.com/culture/music/a21999080/drake-bella-hadid-romance-references-in-finesse-lyrics/
Take note that this has happened two times where Drake has gone for his mates exes and I know Hollywood's chill with it but this just feels emotionally predatory. It's not like he doesn't know these girls, he knows them since they were teens. It's not random.
Year 2019: Billie Eilish defends her texting Drake. Drake's 33 and she's just 18. She even comments that Drake's at a level that he doesn't need to be nice to her but that's a whole different level of power imbalance. https://www.buzzfeed.com/terrycartebillie-eilish-revealed-that-drake-texts-her-creepy
Maybe I'm reaching and they are artists and Drake is interested artistically and helps her with the industry but it just weird.
Millie Bobby Brown: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYZPKh74Li8
I can't with this interaction. For one second I was ready to ignore all of the above but this? A 33 year old texting a 15 year old girl that he misses her? and talks about boys? Tf is wrong with people justifying this? People are saying it's innocent but she was 15 and I don't think any grown man should be talking about these things with a 15 year old. Also, Millie posting this https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2018/09/210592/millie-bobby-brown-defends-friendship-with-drake
There is also this thing with Drake and the Kar-jenners and I don't know what to think: https://people.com/tv/kylie-jenner-drake-spending-romantic-time-togethe
https://twitter.com/WizMonifaaa/status/1467919407095681028/photo/4
https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.56014/title.drake-does-damage-control-after-referring-to-kylie-jenner-as-a-side-piece-on-old-song
Drake performed at Kylie's sweet 16:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWX-I6n-AQg
I wonder why no one is calling this out in light of the overall situation. Do other people observe this too but are they ignoring it? or am I overanalyzing this? I'm honestly not sure if this is predatory behavior at this point or if something is being misinterpreted since Drake is in the spotlight. Drake is a wealthy man, so what is going on with his management? If all that is occurring is coincidental and benign, then why are they allowing this to happen? To be honest, I'm not sure about it. I just wonder what Drake is doing with all these horrible stories coming out of the industry. The narrative around him changed over night it seems even though a lot of this has been known, but many just turned the other cheek.
Taking Drake down is just cutting out one head from hydra & another will likely take his place but what it WILL do is send a message to the higher ups that we aren’t slow & it’s just a matter of time until the truth comes out & people will have to face the music.

Edit: The downvotes have begun but hopefully that means people are reading till the end too. Will have to try the BridgertonRants sub as that seems more accepting of discussions and debates. : )
Would super appreciate it if everyone reads this long-ass thesis of a post with an open mind and to the end...its me being vulnerable in an anonymous reddit sub because i think these things matter in the larger framework of a uniquely special show and the big, bright, beautiful, multicultural gorgeous world we all as humans live in. My last post in this sub was downvoted to hell which btw totally ok...and i dont depend on reddit currency for my livelihood so its all good. I just care about my posts being read...specially this one.
Some context:
I'm very new to this community and reddit as well. Currently have time off work and going ham on reddit and venturing very scared into the deep dark of world of rabid fandoms and small niche communities. Getting a little burnt along the way but also learning from some super talented fans with their own eye-opening ideas and funny posts. Fans of all kinds, Im peeping into profiles, so white, black, brown multicolored rainbow of the world right here.
I'm also an aspiring writer and well...some of my best ideas have come from reddit lurking on cool and active subs with bridgerton sub being new for me. Jet lagged, anxious and just a tad bit antsy, I'm trying to go down and deep and maybe open some deeper discussions here.
I am Indian and lived primarily in India my whole life and now for the last 10 years between London and Canada (why am I sharing all this like and am I also going to tell you my weight, my height etc too...No but hopefully you'll understand this revelation as you read ahead without me spelling it out)
So I've been trying to figure out why fan wars as they pertain to this show prick so personally, so particularly.
I think fandoms anywhere in every country are full of insane people, obsessive chronically online people who find comfort through living through their faves..your beyonce stans, your rihanna stans, your Taylor Swift stans, your harry styles stans, your k pop stans, etc etc..
This show also has some rabid fans..But there is a conversation I want to open up only because I think it's important...Is fighting extra hard for your poc fave because you know their representation in pop culture is limited, their getting jobs is limited, subconscious biases exist even though we have been making great strides and even eradicated overt biases in employment, in accessibility, in government service etc etc ..and their culture not as dominant, their worlds not as seen or coveted.
Our ideas of beauty are framed by the extensiveness and longevity of colonial rule across the world.
there are shit people across all ethnicities religions and genders and nationalities. Barbarians, conquerors, invaders, pillaging villages raping women destroying livelihoods suppressing the peasant class, mutilating and diluting cultures- exist in Africa, the Indian subcontinent, East asia, middle East etc so not just Britain. Basically being brown, black or East Asian and Middle Eastern doesnt grant you moral superiority over white people and you can be racist and casteist and colorist and bigoted and biased and just all around shitty and criminal as a black, brown, east asian middle eastern etc etc person just as much as white people.
So now that thats settled, lets look at specific issues that POC only face because that eventually streams into the show and its politics and its discussion as well.
But for whatever reason ...the British were able to colonize on a scale that the other countries and ethnicities were not able to.. African and the Indian subcontinent's conquests and invasions were limited in area and time period...their scale of conquest limited to a small radius around their own countries...and not foreign lands travelled via sea etc.
As a result and only as a result and not because and I cannot emphasize enough that black, brown or east asian invaders, rulers etc were morally superior, kinder, less assholes...the culture that became dominant was white british culture..or european culture...if Indians had conquered the world, they would have imposed their culture on the lands and countries they invaded, if different African countries invaded the world to the extent of the british colonists, same thing...the dominant culture that would have been forcibly imposed by the people of african ethnicity would be their culture... Black skin would have been considered beautiful, white fair skin would not have been the standard....thats history....thats something we know to be true even through modern wars...the victor dictates...But that simply didnt happen.
it's not because t Africans or Asians or basically non white people are morally superior, more virtuous, incapable of terrorist acts or colonizing or I don't know were like we don't invade and conquest, we so good. But because that's history. They just didn't manage it. thats simply our current historical reality.
Being that the country or countries that did manage to conquer the world or close to 9/10ths of it were Europeans or more specifically British white nationals..which means as would happen even if another nationality had managed to invade the world, the culture that is dominant across the world is a west/white slanted world..
Colorism as a concept didnt exist until colonization: Why would it? If everyone existed under the same harsh sun, had the same skin color with minor variances...why would they think fair is more beautiful. Its because they wouldnt...the first blond haired blue eyed people would have been introduced to India via early traders of east india company in India and dutch colonists before them...Its like if everyone around you is brown, you assume thats just how everyone else looks like...thats the only reality you know...you simply havent seen anyone look any different..you havent seen blue eyes or anything else....same for africans and within that framework as humans are wont to do you create ideas of beauty.
So yes. POCs across the globe had just as arbitrary ideas of beauty as white people (chiense mutilated young women feet cuz small feet more beautiful, in africa genital mutiliation) because humans are humans and humans mess everything up...and animals are so much better...but color as a construct is a colonial one and one which managed to find deeep deep roots because of the extent of the rule, the sheer longevity, For context, India has been independent for the last 75 years..from over 200 years of colonial british rule...Not even the length of the life of a single human. Not even as long as Britains former queen was alive. It will take some more time for that in fighting and ideas of colorism deeply penetrated from the inheritance of our rulers to get dismanted...and totally thrown own...because you can freee from literall bondage more easily, the mind takes longer to adjust and form independent thought. But it will happen.
White people are not more or less racist than POC. Thats not a thing. There are shit people and you can find shit people anywhere...I have shit people right in my own home country, bigots, destroying the diversity of India by bullshit tactics...
But as it stands...because this cultural superiority of British and white people took over, the framing of beauty, of whats fashionable, of whats cool, of whats civilized is all seen through the lens of white culture...eating with hands which many cultures across the world do uncivilized unhygienic, paris fashions and made in italy...mark of excellence...made in India and China...cheap, low quality, scammers and shit people, (thats not to say shit people and scammers dont exist in India and China and there arent industries of scammers across these poorer nations but there is also denying the equisite craftasmanship across fashion and beauty in both countries-China and India.
Brown skin bad, even darker skin even bad etc etc...We wear clothes that our colonial masters did across the world, you wont find people in china wearing Chinese clothes, same for India, african countries etc...everything from clothing, to beauty, to furniture, to houses everything indigenous was changed to a foreign ideal from our rulers. The same would have happened whoever whichever ethnicity had invaded the world...like i said above..
Now and thanks for reading whoever read till here and I hope a lot of people did-on to to the show...
There is this frequent refrain and accusation of oppression olympics that I read about when it comes to this show, in general online discourse and also this insanely disgusting article fat shaming Nicola Coughlan in The Spectator.
And i really really want to open up this conversation...cuz race gets discussed a lot on this sub and other bridgerton subs and therefore a perfect place to have that conversation...Do Non-POC really believe in the concept of oppression olympics and that all kinds of biases are equally treacherous to navigate?
So I was overweight in my teens...I had a close friend who was wheelchair bound. my life was hard and I was bullied but surely surely I do not think that my plight was the same as my friend in a wheelchair...In class 10th, a close friend's father passed away, the same year my grandmother passed away, surely, surely, I dont think we are experiencing the same pain the same setback to our life...Class 10th in India is akin to A levels in Britain and SAT in the USA..
You know why I didnt think any of this and why if I had i was wrong, because there is a hierarchy to opression, .to loss, to struggles. There simply is. Opression Olympics is rooted in reality.
Pain is pain, loss and bad foundations suck ass...but privilege is a thing and some pains some loads just lighter compared to others. I could lose weight and get over the oppression I was facing because of my weight in school. My wheelchair bound friend didnt have that option..I wouldnt get my grandmother back...but my fathers loss would have a more immediate affect on my life and my friend who lost her father and her loss was just simply deeper. She needed more support, more help, more people crowding around her saying you've got this Niharika..well make sure your life doesnt change permanently cuz youlve lost your dad.
So when show fandom compare Jonathon Baileys struggle to Rege Jean George or say Victor Ali, they are simply pointing out that yes while Jonathon Bailey is gay...there is a difference between being white and gay and being black and gay or simply harder being black. And therefore there is a hierarchy. Why POC are less loath to crticize the average acting of their POC faves because they know the opportunities for them are limited. Lets do an exercise name 5 shows led by a POC in the USA or Britain or Canada-any POC..brown, black i dont care. And im not talking about black or brown actors in a show or film, im talking leads...
Also biases are self perpetuating....When black or brown led films fail, the opportunities immediately dry up because it shows that its just fairness and the numbers dont lie..Except this is not maths.....Maths would be first making equal amount of shows starring black or brown people, and then comparing...Now if the end result is white led shows do better-that would be correct math...but ratios and comparisons and statistics need to first start with an even scale...thats not even me taking about diversity...thats just math formulas...
If lets say there are 500 actors who are white in hollywood and 200 who are Black in hollywood, and lets say all 200 black actors are shit...would you say the statement...god white actors are so much better than black actors...no cuz the maths is not adding up...you compared 500 actors who were white of which 300 were excellent 200 bad and you made that into the conclusion that white actors are better because you were comparing only with 200 black actors to begin with...the actual math formula yieled equal number of bad and good actors..
Why people defend Kanthony harder...or wanted Simone Ashley to be promoted as much as Polin is because (lets go with my Math analogy again) all things being the same) unless Nicola and Luke are really bad actors compared to Simone Ashley, theyll still have it easier in acting...they simply will. they wont have to change their confusingly, long foreign sounding name, they wont have to work at assimilation in other ways, lets say they were muslim they wouldnt have been trying hard to sell themselves as Im just as liberal as you, im not a threat. And I love Luke Newton and Nicola Coughland-both seem like throughly, likable, personable, kind hearted beans..
Now my own experience. I have stated in an earlier post on this sub that I'm a Shonda Rhimes fan...because I have personally benefitted from the diversity she has included so naturally, so elegantly in all her shows. My own ideas of beauty, have been tested and transformed. In fact I know exactly the moment it happened...watching Christina Yang as a 14 year old...and thinking god meredith is so beautiful and I want to see more of HER and Izzie but then seeing christina again and again and again over each episode over hundreds of hours of binging, school, college, masters, big move outside India, my own constant this show..my brain was soft mushy and impressionable and christina yang, korean Sandra Oh became suddenly but actually slowly and then all at once became beautiful to me...I dont know when it happened but like the book Colin telling Penelope I dont know when or how and why others dont see it but you ARE beautiful in the book carriage scene. I found her hot, I found her cool. I cared to learn more about her Korean mother and her Jewish father and it didnt matter that the show never covered that culture..Christina was atheist and could handle her shit..even around racists.. But I still wanted to learn more about HER..a woman I simply didnt think was beautiful comparable to meredith and Izzie..me an impressionable 14 year old..just made that turn because of a show.,..a fluffy...not that deep soapy as hell show.
But it was only possible cuz I saw 24 episodes day in day out,...over many many years....for that to happen. I had many more years of falling asleep to dawsons creek joey and dawson, joey and pacey, gilmore girls rory and jess rory and dean rory and logan..i imagined and dreamt of windswept Mr. Darcy...and of course I luckily had my own countrys pop culture cuz I grew up and lived in a country where I was repped plenty eveywhere... So i found bollwood heroes hot and I found White americans or british people hot...my brain simply didnt have a framework for East Asians hot. And I needed to seem them constantly and frequentlyn and in Hot front and center, desirable covetable-their culture, their families all respected, admired again and again and again over many years for that switch to happen.
So why do we fight for our POV faves.. fight hard (some fight really ugly too which....they are not my people ( as in I dont know them) so sorry for that)....because we know how much more repping they need...we know how much MORE MORE MORE important it is to see POC culture done right...because it simply is not accessible,...cannot be to people outside..
K POP is making waves super..., people love themselves some MANGA and kimchi...so good and progress...but a lot of countries pop culture is in the native tongue...people outside of it cannot access it...in the same way one would English language content-books, podcasts, news, films, shows etc etc. And hollywood does our culture wrong, played up for laughs, stinky curry, stinky indians, scamming Indians, uncivilized heathens, oh so funny that Sofia Vergara and her funny accent (The Ellen Show), niche shows that dont become popular behemoths because it stars all ethnic casts-Fresh Off the Boat.
You simply will not understand how brilliant and gorgeous my country's embroideries, temple art, clothing and fashion, actors and sculptors, museums and writing and authors are...not because YOU are racist..but because you dont speak-my language and my culture isnt dominant or wide spread enough-insert again-my above explanation of colonialism and dominant and suppressed cultures. History made one culture the most widespread...again not because white people = bad and racist...brown and black people = good and not racist and benevolent..but because some people simply were the victors...for centuries...plural.
We want to fight harder for Rege and defend him leaving the show (im not even black but when you live outside of your home country, all POC seem like a united underrepresented group and you find kinship everywhere) because any potential cancellation or quote unquote unlikeability and hes difficult accusations would hurt him far far more than Nicola Coughlan, Luke Thompson, Newton, Phoebe etc. for the same "crimes" And there just arent enough of us to begin with to lose even one. For what is quite honestly a mid Netflix show with seeds of promise but a lack of ambition.

Hey Cortney,

 First off I love your channel. I always watch your videos before bed as they help me relax. I know, I know, what psychopath can relax after some of the stories you read? It’s not really the story itself, it’s more like your voice is calming. Anyway onto my story. I have had many paranormal experiences, since childhood. I am an empath and I’m very sensitive to the living and the dead. Sometimes to things that were never human as well. However, this experience almost made me shit my pants. I was watching paranormal YouTube videos, as well as a few from your channel. I had seen a few where the kids call their mom “mother” instead of the usual “momma” or “mommy”. Usually because it’s not actually the child that’s speaking. As my eyes began to have trouble staying open, I turned off my phone and started to drift off the sleep. I heard my bedroom door open just before I knocked out. Figuring it was one of my 3 children, I huffed and asked what they needed. I heard my youngest son, 5, say “momma I don’t feel good.” I asked what was wrong, still struggling to stay awake. That is until he said “Mother, Mimi is going to die tonight.” In a voice that sounded like him and a grown man were talking in sync. I shot bolt upright in my bed and turned to look at my son. This thing was not him. It was the same size and shape but completely black and featureless. Kind of like his shadow would look if it could stand up off the floor. It giggled and ran out of my room back to the room he shares with his older brother. I stared at my open bedroom door, frozen. I knew I couldn’t just sit there, and hell if I was going to sleep. I got up, walked down the hall and opened their bedroom door. They were both passed out, mouths open, obviously in a deep sleep. The shadow creature had disappeared. I went back to my bedroom, grabbed my phone and called my mom (their Mimi). I had to call 3 times before she picked up. Understandable at 3:45 am. She sounded like she had been in a deep sleep also. I told her I was sorry I woke her up, then explained what had just happened. She said “unless a full bladder is going to kill me, I am fine.” I said ok and told her goodnight and sorry again that I woke her up. She said it was fine, she was going to the bathroom then back to bed. I felt a little better knowing my mom was ok, but still uneasy about the shadow child demon thing that had just impersonated my son. However, once I calmed down, I realized I was too tired to stay awake. No matter how creeped out I was. I was trying to get comfortable when my phone started ringing, making my heart almost leap out of my throat. It was my mom, panicking I picked up. I asked her what happened, was everything ok. She told me to calm down, everything was fine. She called me to tell me that as she walked to the bathroom, she smelled something funny. Turns out her gas stove had been left on. She said her and her boyfriend had been out late. They hadn’t gotten home till close to 2am. She made him some food, took a shower and laid down. Due to her being so tired, the stove must have not been turned all the way off. Even though the flame had died, the gas itself was still running for almost 2 hours. She said if I hadn’t called, they may have passed in their sleep due to carbon monoxide poisoning. Or even worse. Her boyfriend always smokes a cigarette in the morning before work, while he has his coffee. The whole trailer could’ve exploded with them inside. I don’t know why or how, but I think a demon/shadow creature saved my mom’s life. I just wish it didn’t have to use my son and scare the living crap out of me to do it. Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed. I have a lot more stories I can post if you want to read them. 

So basically i was watching the "Shlocky Horror Picture Show" with my mother today and something strange happened. At the end of the show and after the credits this strange short film started playing. It dont think it was meant to play as it didn't have a title it still just said "The Shlocky Horror Picture Show". It was about this guy who left his girlfriend in the morning to go to work, once he left some woman knocked on the apartment door where the girlfriend was and "claimed" that she was her boyfriends cousin. She said that she was supposed to be coming over but said "oh he must not have told you" to the girlfriend. She got let in the apartment and she sits down and gets a call from her "cousin" and he was apparently apologizing for him forgetting she was meant to come over. Then the girlfriend goes to the shower and i presume "the cousin" kills her. The guy comes back in the house and the two speak to each other and she says "i cant keep cleaning up your messes" or something like that. Then credits role and it moved on to the next show airing. I was so confused, it probably only went for like 5 or 6 minutes. Can anyone help finding what this was? (ps. i live in Australia and this aired on Foxtel which is basically cable for you Americans)

I'm just so tired all the time, it literally feels like I can sleep all day. I have a normal sleep schedule, but everyday I just feel so exhausted. I have dark circles under my eyes and I have no energy to do anything anymore. I just lay in bed all day and want to rot. I feel suicidal, I just want to die all the time and it's getting worse. I get nightmares of him, not of what exactly happened but just of different sa from him. I feel like there's no point in going on anymore, I don't think it's going to get better. I don't exactly know what it's like to have a flashback, but I think I've experienced them. I have really bad maladaptive daydreaming, but I don't think it's that. It's like I'm there again, I can't control it or stop it or rewind it. It's like it's happening all over again and that I'm there and I can feel it. When it's happening I just sit there and cry and I feel like screaming but I obviously can't do that so I have to hold it in. My head feels like it's burning constantly too, like the back of my head feels so fucking warm and hot. Like my brain is melting. And I just want to die and I'm so tired I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
•The one big thing that makes me feel valid is that, when I was 11, my stepdad fingered me in my bedroom. I won't go in to too much detail or anything, it's unimportant. But the entire time he just stared at me and everything was silent, like he was waiting for my reaction. Our relationship has always been odd, so I wanted it. But eventually I got scared and told him something, I don't remember what it was but it got him to stop immediately and he apologised too. I don't remember much after, as in I don't know if he left my room or I left first, but I immediately went to the bathroom. Which was when I discovered I was bleeding.
•Around this time, for some strange reason I would repeatedly say to him "fuck me daddy." This would either be in person, or over messages. I remember once, when I was in school, I messaged him that. He told me to stop in case one of my friends saw. I don't know why he didn't tell me to stop for other reasons.
•One day, after telling him that in person, we were in my parents bedroom. I was sat on his bed and he was in front of me in his weird chair. He then started going in to detail about how I wanted him to fuck me, I can't remember exactly what he said, it was like I zoned out. Everytime I try to recall it now it literally feels like bugs start to crawl up me, I don't understand why. I remember the last part, and his really disgusting hushed and gentle voice. He asked if I wanted him to "cum inside of me", or he was just explaining how that would finish. I'm not really sure.
•Still around this same time period of me being 11-12, I would ask him to 'squish me.' The reason why we would call it that is because I would be on my back, my legs would be up all the way to where my head is and he would be on top of me in a way that would 'squish me'. Basically like that one sex position. I would usually be wearing my school uniform when that would happen, so a skirt. During the 'squishing', he would push down on me, so our crotches would basically be against eachother. I don't know why, but I would continuously ask him to 'squish me' and during it I would even say the whole "fuck me daddy" thing. Only recently have I realised that he was probably just pretending to fuck me.
•Other things had happened around that age too, like how we would talk about how many times we masturbated a day and compare it to eachother. Sometimes if I was abruptly going to my room, he would ask if I was going to go masturbate, since we were 'close like that' I would tell him. He would often recommend me NSFW Instagram model accounts. I was once tricked in to sending feet pics to this guy, which really isn't that serious and whenever I brought it up with friends they find it fucking hilarious. But the detail I always leave out is that, I did bring that up with my stepdad and he proceeded to tell me that he already knew. Which means he was spying on me through the crack of the door. If that already didn't bother me, I don't understand why he just allowed me to send those pictures, if he was watching why the hell didn't he stop me?
•I'm pretty sure this also happened around the age of 11 as well, recently, a memory resurfaced but I barely remember it. Basically, I was sucking on his neck. I don't remember who said it, but either him or my mum spoke up and laughed, saying that I needed to stop otherwise I would "give him a hickey." The reason why I wouldn't be surprised if my mum was in the room at the time is because she doesn't care about what he does. She knows everything and just doesn't fucking care.
•I'm very sure that, around that age, my parents begun to expose me to their loud sex. I wouldn't be surprised if it started even younger, however. Obviously, I tried to bring it up with them at the ripe old age of 11 and my mum immediately shot me down with a "it's natural." This only stopped recently, around this year, because I had a big panic attack over hearing them and my mum finally felt guilty. I started getting panic attacks over it the minute it started, maybe the panic attacks were a sign of the trauma when I was younger, but I'm convinced it is now. I heard it so many times that I began to get paranoid every night, I would start to hear it even if they weren't upstairs (I sound crazy, I know.) I would get so anxious every night in case I would hear it, to the point I started to really resent them from it. I know fine well I could just go to sleep before them, but sometimes they even woke me up with it, on numerous occasions.
•I'm convinced my stepdad wanted me to hear it. Around the time of it finally stopping, I got mad because i was hearing it again (I'm unsure if it was due to me hearing shit or they actually were) but it caused me to take my bedding and go downstairs to sleep. In the morning, I was rudely awoken to my stepdad slamming the door open and storming past. He's not usually like that when people are sleeping, so it instantly gave me the impression that he was pissed off and the only reason I can think of is that he was angry I wasn't there to listen.
•He used to tease me for my paranoia to. As a way to discourage them from getting intimate, I would leave my door open at night. This happened around this year, but I was doing that again and I messaged my stepdad if they were actually going to sleep. It then somehow turned to him making a dig about how he knew I gets anxious at night and when I asked why he sent me "In case me and your mam have sex. 😜" Before, I tried to resolve this issue by begging them to just tell me if they were gonna have sex or not so I could sleep downstairs (because I was gonna find out the hard way anyways.) And they kept on refusing? Which just gave me the impression that they wanted me to listen more.
•Around 11 again, he would often tell me details about his and my mums sex life. Like how he was always good at pulling out and the only time he would wear a condom is right when he was about to finish. But the reason why my sister came to be was because he just failed to pull out that one time and my mum refused to get an abortion. Another time, he went on about how him and my mother had sex during her period and how they had to use towels and they didn't enjoy it because it was too messy.
•I don't know if he did things before the age of 11, my memories are very faded and it's like there are major gaps throughout everything. I'm worried that he did, however. When I was very young, I remember having no accidents at all during the night. But then, around the ages of 9, I would have an accident basically every night and would get a lot of water infections. I know that's a classic sign of child sexual abuse, but I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything.
•Another reason as to why I believe more things had happened to me than what I know of is because I always seemed to know what sex was when I was young, but I wouldn't know the name or anything specific about it like how to get pregnant or what cum was. Though, even though I didn't know what it was, it was like I always thought about it, I could never not think about sex, it was disgusting. This stayed until I was around 13. I remember where I even asked my 'boyfriend' at the time, we were both around 8, if he wanted to have sex, and I have no idea why.
•Over the years, he would flash me frequently. Everytime, I would always believe it was an accident because he'd never acknowledge it, besides from that one time which he always jokes about it and blames me. Everytime he would flash me, it would either be because of a convenient hole in the crotch of his pants or because he was wearing very lose fit shorts and it would just be hanging out. The more I think about it, I'm very sure he would have been able to feel such a thing, especially when it was poking out of the hole, but it was like he was just oblivious.
•For some strange reason, when I was younger, I would make comments about small dicks. I don't know if I was commenting on his dick specifically, but he would always say the same thing. "Width matters more than length."
•Recently, around 16-17, he made a joke about how he listens to me masturbating. Once he noticed how shocked I looked, he then went on saying about how my vibrator is too quiet to hear.
•Around 17 again, I went to use the shower. The shower I use is the one that's connected to my parents room. When I locked the door, he got madish and started making comments about it. I had to defend myself, saying how 'the door would open on it's own if I didn't lock it'. Eventually, he backed off.
•I don't understand the point in the fucking door and lock to my bedroom anymore. Whenever I decided to lock my door, my parents start shouting at me through the walls, asking why I locked my door. My stepdad barely knocks, it's like a tap and he doesn't even wait sometimes. I remember seeing a past message from an old friend saying how he tried to walk in when I was changing and that he knew I was changing. I didn't explain myself, I really wish I did because I don't remember this.
•(Around 17.) We were messaging eachother and it somehow turned in to him hinting if I saw this one animated video, it was a porn one. I said no, and to that he sent me a screenshot of it. It wasn't anything bad or anything, just the start of it and nothing was revealing, he then asked if I was sure. And how he was surprised that I hadn't.
•(Around 17.) I don't really get my period, we still don't know why. But as I was getting a lot of blood tests, my stepdad was trying to check things off the list of what it could be. One of those being that my opening is just extremely tight I guess, because he asked if I ever tried penetrating myself. I admitted that I did, but I couldn't get it to exactly go in. Which he then decided to make a comment saying how It's just my 'technique'. I wonder if the only reason he asked that was to see if I ever tried anything out of morbid curiosity.
•(Around 17 again.) He randomly bought me dildo's once, I didn't ask him for them, he just bought them for me and it was wildly uncomfortable. Once he gave me them, he asked if I wanted him to show me how to use them. I said no, which he then said something about how if I ever did then I could ask him. I worry what would have happened if I did say yes.
•When I was around 14, I went glamping. I ended up having to share a bed with him. One of the nights, I woke up to his hand just on top my crotch. I tried grabbing it and moving it away but it just fell back down on to it. I don't know if he put it back there on purpose. I still question if it was a dream, I'm very sure it wasn't because I remember going back to sleep, but it still just bugs me.
•Around 17, I was upset for some reason and he was comforting me. During this, he randomly grabbed the inside of my thigh. I usually just wear a shirt and boxers, so he basically just grabbed my naked thigh but I don't know if he was doing it in a comforting way.
•Usually when I draw, I have my knees up to my chest so it's easier to use my tablet. Considering what I wear for pyjamas, I can always see him looking at my crotch when he comes in to my room. If he really can see everything I don't understand why he doesn't just tell me to put my legs down.
•He's made a lot of uncomfortable jokes over the years too. One of the ones that upsets me sometimes is that, when he was measuring me for a binder, I was constantly moving around because it was uncomfortable since I was just in a sports bra. As he was leaving, I think I told him about how it was uncomfortable for me or something along those lines. He then turned around and shouted "oh come on, it's not like i was fingerings your pussy or anything."
•Very recently, I asked him if I looked okay before going to college. After a bit of back and fourth he said "I wouldn't kick you out of bed, maybe you could find someone in college who would do the same."
•Other times when I asked him if I looked okay, he'd go on tangents about how my ass is great or how he would date me or be too nervous to talk to me if he was my age.
•One of the more recent jokes was when I dropped a mayonnaise lid on my lap. Nothing got on me, but my stepdad turned to me then turned to my mum and shouted "if anyone starts accusing us, just tell them it was mayonnaise!" Or something like that.
•I remember after we watched the new mean girls film, he started going on saying about how he wanted to rewatch it for the Halloween seen (if you know you know) for the 'panty action'. Which rubs me the wrong way because I'm very sure the girls are supposed to be around my age.
•I'm very sure he also made this fake account, pretending to be one of my old groomers that I tried to cut off, just to message me about nsfw topics and ask for pics. It's a whole long yap about paranoia and just suspicions so I won't get into it though. If I tried to provide all the evidence I have, it'll take forever and there's no point.
There's definitely way more things that he's said, joked and done. But I'm only now beginning to realise that they're not okay. Even when I was younger, I was sort of uncomfortable around the jokes so I would just zone out, leading me to not remembering them now.
I probably will never accept that what happened to me was bad, or a big issue. Especially due to the 'lovely' people on here. Thank you for telling me immediately that I was a liar before you even knew what happened, that I shouldn't blame an 'innocent man', that you hope he comes in and rapes me to the point I split open and bleed. Thank you for telling me that my parents were just trying to promote a sex positive household, that some of the things were questionable at most. Thank you so much for saying I deserved it because I didn't send you pictures. You all made me feel like shit and I'm probably never going to tell people in person what happened to me, out of fear I would be ridiculed due to how much of a baby I'm being. I wasn't raped, so I have no place to cry or even think about it. I'm being overdramatic.
If you even read to this point, you're an angel.

Trigger warning. Also I'm sorry, this is a really long post but I'll bullet point most stuff down.
I'm just so tired all the time, it literally feels like I can sleep all day. I have a normal sleep schedule, but everyday I just feel so exhausted. I have dark circles under my eyes and I have no energy to do anything anymore. I just lay in bed all day and want to rot. I feel suicidal, I just want to die all the time and it's getting worse. I get nightmares of him, not of what exactly happened but just of different sa from him. I feel like there's no point in going on anymore, I don't think it's going to get better. I don't exactly know what it's like to have a flashback, but I think I've experienced them. I have really bad maladaptive daydreaming, but I don't think it's that. It's like I'm there again, I can't control it or stop it or rewind it. It's like it's happening all over again and that I'm there and I can feel it. When it's happening I just sit there and cry and I feel like screaming but I obviously can't do that so I have to hold it in. My head feels like it's burning constantly too, like the back of my head feels so fucking warm and hot. Like my brain is melting. And I just want to die and I'm so tired I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
•The one big thing that makes me feel valid is that, when I was 11, my stepdad fingered me in my bedroom. I won't go in to too much detail or anything, it's unimportant. But the entire time he just stared at me and everything was silent, like he was waiting for my reaction. Our relationship has always been odd, so I wanted it. But eventually I got scared and told him something, I don't remember what it was but it got him to stop immediately and he apologised too. I don't remember much after, as in I don't know if he left my room or I left first, but I immediately went to the bathroom. Which was when I discovered I was bleeding.
•Around this time, for some strange reason I would repeatedly say to him "fuck me daddy." This would either be in person, or over messages. I remember once, when I was in school, I messaged him that. He told me to stop in case one of my friends saw. I don't know why he didn't tell me to stop for other reasons.
•One day, after telling him that in person, we were in my parents bedroom. I was sat on his bed and he was in front of me in his weird chair. He then started going in to detail about how I wanted him to fuck me, I can't remember exactly what he said, it was like I zoned out. Everytime I try to recall it now it literally feels like bugs start to crawl up me, I don't understand why. I remember the last part, and his really disgusting hushed and gentle voice. He asked if I wanted him to "cum inside of me", or he was just explaining how that would finish. I'm not really sure.
•Still around this same time period of me being 11-12, I would ask him to 'squish me.' The reason why we would call it that is because I would be on my back, my legs would be up all the way to where my head is and he would be on top of me in a way that would 'squish me'. Basically like that one sex position. I would usually be wearing my school uniform when that would happen, so a skirt. During the 'squishing', he would push down on me, so our crotches would basically be against eachother. I don't know why, but I would continuously ask him to 'squish me' and during it I would even say the whole "fuck me daddy" thing. Only recently have I realised that he was probably just pretending to fuck me.
•Other things had happened around that age too, like how we would talk about how many times we masturbated a day and compare it to eachother. Sometimes if I was abruptly going to my room, he would ask if I was going to go masturbate, since we were 'close like that' I would tell him. He would often recommend me NSFW Instagram model accounts. I was once tricked in to sending feet pics to this guy, which really isn't that serious and whenever I brought it up with friends they find it fucking hilarious. But the detail I always leave out is that, I did bring that up with my stepdad and he proceeded to tell me that he already knew. Which means he was spying on me through the crack of the door. If that already didn't bother me, I don't understand why he just allowed me to send those pictures, if he was watching why the hell didn't he stop me?
•I'm pretty sure this also happened around the age of 11 as well, recently, a memory resurfaced but I barely remember it. Basically, I was sucking on his neck. I don't remember who said it, but either him or my mum spoke up and laughed, saying that I needed to stop otherwise I would "give him a hickey." The reason why I wouldn't be surprised if my mum was in the room at the time is because she doesn't care about what he does. She knows everything and just doesn't fucking care.
•I'm very sure that, around that age, my parents begun to expose me to their loud sex. I wouldn't be surprised if it started even younger, however. Obviously, I tried to bring it up with them at the ripe old age of 11 and my mum immediately shot me down with a "it's natural." This only stopped recently, around this year, because I had a big panic attack over hearing them and my mum finally felt guilty. I started getting panic attacks over it the minute it started, maybe the panic attacks were a sign of the trauma when I was younger, but I'm convinced it is now. I heard it so many times that I began to get paranoid every night, I would start to hear it even if they weren't upstairs (I sound crazy, I know.) I would get so anxious every night in case I would hear it, to the point I started to really resent them from it. I know fine well I could just go to sleep before them, but sometimes they even woke me up with it, on numerous occasions.
•I'm convinced my stepdad wanted me to hear it. Around the time of it finally stopping, I got mad because i was hearing it again (I'm unsure if it was due to me hearing shit or they actually were) but it caused me to take my bedding and go downstairs to sleep. In the morning, I was rudely awoken to my stepdad slamming the door open and storming past. He's not usually like that when people are sleeping, so it instantly gave me the impression that he was pissed off and the only reason I can think of is that he was angry I wasn't there to listen.
•He used to tease me for my paranoia to. As a way to discourage them from getting intimate, I would leave my door open at night. This happened around this year, but I was doing that again and I messaged my stepdad if they were actually going to sleep. It then somehow turned to him making a dig about how he knew I gets anxious at night and when I asked why he sent me "In case me and your mam have sex. 😜" Before, I tried to resolve this issue by begging them to just tell me if they were gonna have sex or not so I could sleep downstairs (because I was gonna find out the hard way anyways.) And they kept on refusing? Which just gave me the impression that they wanted me to listen more.
•Around 11 again, he would often tell me details about his and my mums sex life. Like how he was always good at pulling out and the only time he would wear a condom is right when he was about to finish. But the reason why my sister came to be was because he just failed to pull out that one time and my mum refused to get an abortion. Another time, he went on about how him and my mother had sex during her period and how they had to use towels and they didn't enjoy it because it was too messy.
•I don't know if he did things before the age of 11, my memories are very faded and it's like there are major gaps throughout everything. I'm worried that he did, however. When I was very young, I remember having no accidents at all during the night. But then, around the ages of 9, I would have an accident basically every night and would get a lot of water infections. I know that's a classic sign of child sexual abuse, but I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything.
•Another reason as to why I believe more things had happened to me than what I know of is because I always seemed to know what sex was when I was young, but I wouldn't know the name or anything specific about it like how to get pregnant or what cum was. Though, even though I didn't know what it was, it was like I always thought about it, I could never not think about sex, it was disgusting. This stayed until I was around 13. I remember where I even asked my 'boyfriend' at the time, we were both around 8, if he wanted to have sex, and I have no idea why.
•Over the years, he would flash me frequently. Everytime, I would always believe it was an accident because he'd never acknowledge it, besides from that one time which he always jokes about it and blames me. Everytime he would flash me, it would either be because of a convenient hole in the crotch of his pants or because he was wearing very lose fit shorts and it would just be hanging out. The more I think about it, I'm very sure he would have been able to feel such a thing, especially when it was poking out of the hole, but it was like he was just oblivious.
•For some strange reason, when I was younger, I would make comments about small dicks. I don't know if I was commenting on his dick specifically, but he would always say the same thing. "Width matters more than length."
•Recently, around 16-17, he made a joke about how he listens to me masturbating. Once he noticed how shocked I looked, he then went on saying about how my vibrator is too quiet to hear.
•Around 17 again, I went to use the shower. The shower I use is the one that's connected to my parents room. When I locked the door, he got madish and started making comments about it. I had to defend myself, saying how 'the door would open on it's own if I didn't lock it'. Eventually, he backed off.
•I don't understand the point in the fucking door and lock to my bedroom anymore. Whenever I decided to lock my door, my parents start shouting at me through the walls, asking why I locked my door. My stepdad barely knocks, it's like a tap and he doesn't even wait sometimes. I remember seeing a past message from an old friend saying how he tried to walk in when I was changing and that he knew I was changing. I didn't explain myself, I really wish I did because I don't remember this.
•(Around 17.) We were messaging eachother and it somehow turned in to him hinting if I saw this one animated video, it was a porn one. I said no, and to that he sent me a screenshot of it. It wasn't anything bad or anything, just the start of it and nothing was revealing, he then asked if I was sure. And how he was surprised that I hadn't.
•(Around 17.) I don't really get my period, we still don't know why. But as I was getting a lot of blood tests, my stepdad was trying to check things off the list of what it could be. One of those being that my opening is just extremely tight I guess, because he asked if I ever tried penetrating myself. I admitted that I did, but I couldn't get it to exactly go in. Which he then decided to make a comment saying how It's just my 'technique'. I wonder if the only reason he asked that was to see if I ever tried anything out of morbid curiosity.
•(Around 17 again.) He randomly bought me dildo's once, I didn't ask him for them, he just bought them for me and it was wildly uncomfortable. Once he gave me them, he asked if I wanted him to show me how to use them. I said no, which he then said something about how if I ever did then I could ask him. I worry what would have happened if I did say yes.
•When I was around 14, I went glamping. I ended up having to share a bed with him. One of the nights, I woke up to his hand just on top my crotch. I tried grabbing it and moving it away but it just fell back down on to it. I don't know if he put it back there on purpose. I still question if it was a dream, I'm very sure it wasn't because I remember going back to sleep, but it still just bugs me.
•Around 17, I was upset for some reason and he was comforting me. During this, he randomly grabbed the inside of my thigh. I usually just wear a shirt and boxers, so he basically just grabbed my naked thigh but I don't know if he was doing it in a comforting way.
•Usually when I draw, I have my knees up to my chest so it's easier to use my tablet. Considering what I wear for pyjamas, I can always see him looking at my crotch when he comes in to my room. If he really can see everything I don't understand why he doesn't just tell me to put my legs down.
•He's made a lot of uncomfortable jokes over the years too. One of the ones that upsets me sometimes is that, when he was measuring me for a binder, I was constantly moving around because it was uncomfortable since I was just in a sports bra. As he was leaving, I think I told him about how it was uncomfortable for me or something along those lines. He then turned around and shouted "oh come on, it's not like i was fingerings your pussy or anything."
•Very recently, I asked him if I looked okay before going to college. After a bit of back and fourth he said "I wouldn't kick you out of bed, maybe you could find someone in college who would do the same."
•Other times when I asked him if I looked okay, he'd go on tangents about how my ass is great or how he would date me or be too nervous to talk to me if he was my age.
•One of the more recent jokes was when I dropped a mayonnaise lid on my lap. Nothing got on me, but my stepdad turned to me then turned to my mum and shouted "if anyone starts accusing us, just tell them it was mayonnaise!" Or something like that.
•I remember after we watched the new mean girls film, he started going on saying about how he wanted to rewatch it for the Halloween seen (if you know you know) for the 'panty action'. Which rubs me the wrong way because I'm very sure the girls are supposed to be around my age.
•I'm very sure he also made this fake account, pretending to be one of my old groomers that I tried to cut off, just to message me about nsfw topics and ask for pics. It's a whole long yap about paranoia and just suspicions so I won't get into it though. If I tried to provide all the evidence I have, it'll take forever and there's no point.
There's definitely way more things that he's said, joked and done. But I'm only now beginning to realise that they're not okay. Even when I was younger, I was sort of uncomfortable around the jokes so I would just zone out, leading me to not remembering them now.
I probably will never accept that what happened to me was bad, or a big issue. Especially due to the 'lovely' people on here. Thank you for telling me immediately that I was a liar before you even knew what happened, that I shouldn't blame an 'innocent man', that you hope he comes in and rapes me to the point I split open and bleed. Thank you for telling me that my parents were just trying to promote a sex positive household, that some of the things were questionable at most. Thank you so much for saying I deserved it because I didn't send you pictures. You all made me feel like shit and I'm probably never going to tell people in person what happened to me, out of fear I would be ridiculed due to how much of a baby I'm being. I wasn't raped, so I have no place to cry or even think about it. I'm being overdramatic.
If you even read to this point, you're an angel.

Gamer Boy 🤝 Book Girl
Hello there,
I’m a nearly 32-year-old man from Iceland, living with a physical disability that means I use a wheelchair most of the time, though I can walk indoors. I'm writing this post from the heart, hoping to find a meaningful connection.
I've tried both local and international dating sites with little success, so perhaps Reddit can be my last hope. For a long time, I felt undeserving of love because of my disability, but I've come to realize that love transcends physical limitations. I’m a hopeless romantic who cherishes staying awake with my partner until they drift off to sleep.
Here’s what brings me joy:

• Driving with a good friend or enjoying a beautiful view
• The stunning nature of Iceland
• Video games, one of my few accessible hobbies (recently playing Helldivers, Slay the Spire, and Balatro)
• Football, though I’m not obsessed
• Binge-watching action, fantasy, sci-fi, and adventure TV shows
• Enjoying action, sci-fi, and adventure movies, as well as exploring various other genres
• Pillow talk and those meandering, joyous conversations
• Music, especially metal, though I appreciate other styles too
• Tattoos and piercings; I have four tattoos and plan on more
• Animals are a must; if you're not into them, we probably won't click
• Voice calls are my thing, so hopefully, you’re into that too
• And yes, I enjoy anime (favorites include Attack on Titan, Re:zero, Angel Beats, Fate series, and Akame)
• You ;)

Who am I? I am loyal, patient, passionate about my interests, and eager to share yours. I consider myself caring, nice, and humorous—but you'll have to be the judge of that.
While I'm content on my own, life feels more fulfilling with someone special. It’s not just about living, but living meaningfully and sharing that with someone. I want to explore the world and cherish those experiences with a loved one.
About you: Ideally aged 24-38, you should value kindness, understanding, and a good sense of humor. A penchant for dark humor is a plus. Physical traits aren’t my main focus, but I do find a soft voice and a shorter stature charming. (Lines up well with the height of the wheelchair)
Ultimately, I’m searching for someone who can laugh at life and themselves. Looks matter, but personality resonates more deeply with me.
I'm still defining my ideal partner; maybe it’s you. If you want a glimpse of me, just ask. I prefer chatting on platforms like Discord, given Reddit’s clunky messaging.
If you’ve read this far, thank you—you’re already a hero in my eyes. Let’s see where this could go?
Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful evening! I’m curious to see what this post might bring.

Gamer Boy 🤝 Book Girl
Hello there,
I’m a nearly 32-year-old man from Iceland, living with a physical disability that means I use a wheelchair most of the time, though I can walk indoors. I'm writing this post from the heart, hoping to find a meaningful connection.
I've tried both local and international dating sites with little success, so perhaps Reddit can be my last hope. For a long time, I felt undeserving of love because of my disability, but I've come to realize that love transcends physical limitations. I’m a hopeless romantic who cherishes staying awake with my partner until they drift off to sleep.
Here’s what brings me joy:

• Driving with a good friend or enjoying a beautiful view
• The stunning nature of Iceland
• Video games, one of my few accessible hobbies (recently playing Helldivers, Slay the Spire, and Balatro)
• Football, though I’m not obsessed
• Binge-watching action, fantasy, sci-fi, and adventure TV shows
• Enjoying action, sci-fi, and adventure movies, as well as exploring various other genres
• Pillow talk and those meandering, joyous conversations
• Music, especially metal, though I appreciate other styles too
• Tattoos and piercings; I have four tattoos and plan on more
• Animals are a must; if you're not into them, we probably won't click
• Voice calls are my thing, so hopefully, you’re into that too
• And yes, I enjoy anime (favorites include Attack on Titan, Re:zero, Angel Beats, Fate series, and Akame)
• You ;)

Who am I? I am loyal, patient, passionate about my interests, and eager to share yours. I consider myself caring, nice, and humorous—but you'll have to be the judge of that.
While I'm content on my own, life feels more fulfilling with someone special. It’s not just about living, but living meaningfully and sharing that with someone. I want to explore the world and cherish those experiences with a loved one.
About you: Ideally aged 24-38, you should value kindness, understanding, and a good sense of humor. A penchant for dark humor is a plus. Physical traits aren’t my main focus, but I do find a soft voice and a shorter stature charming. (Lines up well with the height of the wheelchair)
Ultimately, I’m searching for someone who can laugh at life and themselves. Looks matter, but personality resonates more deeply with me.
I'm still defining my ideal partner; maybe it’s you. If you want a glimpse of me, just ask. I prefer chatting on platforms like Discord, given Reddit’s clunky messaging.
If you’ve read this far, thank you—you’re already a hero in my eyes. Let’s see where this could go?
Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful evening! I’m curious to see what this post might bring.

Gamer Boy 🤝 Book Girl
Hello there,
I’m a nearly 32-year-old man from Iceland, living with a physical disability that means I use a wheelchair most of the time, though I can walk indoors. I'm writing this post from the heart, hoping to find a meaningful connection.
I've tried both local and international dating sites with little success, so perhaps Reddit can be my last hope. For a long time, I felt undeserving of love because of my disability, but I've come to realize that love transcends physical limitations. I’m a hopeless romantic who cherishes staying awake with my partner until they drift off to sleep.
Here’s what brings me joy:

• Driving with a good friend or enjoying a beautiful view
• The stunning nature of Iceland
• Video games, one of my few accessible hobbies (recently playing Helldivers, Slay the Spire, and Balatro)
• Football, though I’m not obsessed
• Binge-watching action, fantasy, sci-fi, and adventure TV shows
• Enjoying action, sci-fi, and adventure movies, as well as exploring various other genres
• Pillow talk and those meandering, joyous conversations
• Music, especially metal, though I appreciate other styles too
• Tattoos and piercings; I have four tattoos and plan on more
• Animals are a must; if you're not into them, we probably won't click
• Voice calls are my thing, so hopefully, you’re into that too
• And yes, I enjoy anime (favorites include Attack on Titan, Re:zero, Angel Beats, Fate series, and Akame)
• You ;)

Who am I? I am loyal, patient, passionate about my interests, and eager to share yours. I consider myself caring, nice, and humorous—but you'll have to be the judge of that.
While I'm content on my own, life feels more fulfilling with someone special. It’s not just about living, but living meaningfully and sharing that with someone. I want to explore the world and cherish those experiences with a loved one.
About you: Ideally aged 24-38, you should value kindness, understanding, and a good sense of humor. A penchant for dark humor is a plus. Physical traits aren’t my main focus, but I do find a soft voice and a shorter stature charming. (Lines up well with the height of the wheelchair)
Ultimately, I’m searching for someone who can laugh at life and themselves. Looks matter, but personality resonates more deeply with me.
I'm still defining my ideal partner; maybe it’s you. If you want a glimpse of me, just ask. I prefer chatting on platforms like Discord, given Reddit’s clunky messaging.
If you’ve read this far, thank you—you’re already a hero in my eyes. Let’s see where this could go?
Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful evening! I’m curious to see what this post might bring.

For Context
First Week: Two weeks ago my mother rescued Gwen, a feral pigeon that couldn't fly. We offered food and water hoping for a quick recovery, but on the third day we moved her to the living room window with some safety precautions and a cardboard house, in the process saving her from losing a foot to a string. We evicted a louse fly successfully with Neem mist. Resisted the temptation of bird keepers to buy Gwen off of me. Vitamin'd her up.
Second Week: Quick recovery, Gwen would flee from me and slap my hand whenever I had to handle her, and the rest of the day she spent hanging sunbathing, pecking at paper strips and receiving visits from feral pigeons. I noticed weird shaped in Gwen's droppings, suspected worms. My mother gave Gwen her name. My mother and me had a little disagreement over Gwen's safety in her window, I evaluated moving her to my room where she would be safer from the family cat.
For the Full Context: you may check my previous posts .
The Update: My suspicion was right, worms: Big, juicy and bloody... Researching online I saw that 26 Neem leaves on a liter of water was good for deworming purposes so I gave it a try, them nasties came out the next day covered in shit and blood, kept the treatment for three days, currently offering plain water. After a little unforeseen accident I ended up moving Gwen to my bedroom window, bought actual plastic chicken mesh and gave my window a deep cleaning, I'm not sure she likes my window, but it's definitely safe and has access to more sunlight. Her new accomodations didn't matter though, the rain season came upon us and trashed her little piece of heaven while I was at the factory, luckily my mother managed to save Gwen and her little carboard box house, for the time being, Gwen's been hanging in my bedroom behind a chair and pooping right in the middle of the room. Gwen's recovering good, she "runs", climbs chest-high (pigeon-wise) furniture and she also has begun vocalizing softly. Factory gave me a three month contract to start right after my internship ends, It seems I just cashed a fat wad of pigeon good karma, will definetly help me take care of Gwen more appropriately now that I don't have to manage my expenses as tightly.
The Game Plan: I'll cycle the neem and vitamins in Gwen's water: Three days of neem tea, a day of plain water, then two of vitamins; it should help Gwen get rid of intestinal nasties, while allowing her to recover. I'm trying to figure out the amount of food Gwen will eat in a day, as to reduce waste and mess. Gwen's going to be staying in room until we get some sun again, it'll probably be 2-3 months until then... I've been holding off on taming Gwen, as I still hope she'll be able to take flight soon, I'd feel sad is she'd never could be able to fly again, my mother is already on board on keeping her at home indefinitely in the event she never recovers. It would probably be a good idea to bag some bird toys so Gwen can distract herself now that she can watch the people and other birds from my window, nor bask in the sun, nor get the occasional visit from her bird friends (She's even been hanging out with non-pigeon birds)
Thanks once again for all the people who helped me along this journey, without your help I probably wouldn't have been able to nurse Gwen into recovery.

[INDEX]
I banked the fire and stared into the golden eyes of Beatale before I crept into my makeshift tent.
I still had my auric vision running and couldn’t help but notice the thin silver cord that ran from me to Horse. Firming up my aura, I reached out with my hand and grabbed it. I could feel the nearly imperceptible vibration between my fingers as I used my mind to probe at the thread. I could feel a bright spark of intellect, a light at the end of a tunnel. Pushing with my mind, I slid down the thread until the spark grew larger and eventually filled my inner vision with a hazy white light. Horsey thoughts nudged at me curiously.
I slid into the haze and immediately lost all sense of direction. If it wasn’t for the silver thread, I’d have no idea how to exit this shifting white fog. Horsey thoughts got stronger as I followed the thread while the haze thinned and cleared to reveal an endless prairie of green grass. I found myself standing before a naked man wearing a horse mask and I stared in shock. It was obviously me wearing a cheap costume horse mask — there was no mistaking my tattoos.
“What did you expect?” Horse neighed at me. “I am you and you are me and we are all together. Goo goo ga joob.”
Horse made a shooing motion with his hands and I accelerated backwards through the white haze and slammed into my own body with a gasp. I stared at the tarp overhead for a long minute, processing this new revelation. Horse was a part of me, a piece of my spirit. Whatever psychic stuff I did with that silver cord lead me into a house of mirrors where I got to look at myself pretending to be a horse. I can’t even deal with that right now.
Rolling into my blankets, I dropped off to sleep.
*Ding*
-=- - Welcome to the Dreamworld - Included in the Psychic Skills pack, the Inner Sanctum is your psychic domain. It is the mental fortress that you must secure and maintain to defend against psychic and spiritual assaults. All of your neurosis and fears are symbolised in this realm and must be defeated or subjugated before you can become master of the domain. Good luck. -=-
I banished the pop-up and looked around. I knew I was asleep, but everything was just as real as when I was awake. I was breathing, I could feel the floor under my feet, and if it weren’t for the pop-up, I would have sworn I had been teleported. The room I was in resembled an oversized luxury prison cell, maybe a thirty foot cube. No windows. Rough stone walls with thick mortar. Large brass wall sconces were set directly into the stone and suffused the room with a warm, golden light provided by glowing rocks. The stone floor had colourful Persian rugs tastefully placed. A high plaster ceiling was painted with a rendition of Michelangelo’s ‘Creation of Adam’, depicting me as both Adam and God.
There was a comfy sofa in front of a large screen television that hung from one wall and an ornate grandfather clock ticked loudly in the corner. It was currently 10:08 PM. Another wall was a floor to ceiling bookshelf, stuffed with books of varying sizes. The third wall was covered with pictures and I could see at a glance that they were images from my life. The fourth wall had a thick riveted steel door on the right side, a full sized mirror on the left, and a computer workstation in the middle.
The picture wall was my first target. A few were quite large, nearly life sized, while others were tiny prints no larger than the palm of my hand. Scenes of my life were displayed in each one. The largest was me riding Horse with a shit-scared expression, shooting at a pack of wolves. Others were smaller, each with different frames. Some ornate gold or silver, others plain wood, a few wrapped in briars or barbed wire. Nanny Ramsey holding me as a young child. My dog Jean with a red ball in his mouth. My parents, screaming at me. I turned my attention to the books. Books are safe. Books don’t judge you.
The sweet, musty scent of a used book store filled my nostrils as I drew close to the honey coloured shelves. Hundreds of volumes filled the wall from floor to ceiling, with a ladder that could be rolled along a rail to access the top. I smiled at the sight. I had always wanted a library like this. I pulled a book at random and read the title, “Confused Fantasies about Joseph Harris, part XXIV of the Middle School Years”.
I slid the book back onto the shelf. Let’s see what’s on TV.
The remote was a slim, futuristic looking affair with a minimum of buttons. I pointed it at the television and moments later the huge screen came to life and presented me with a simple menu for movies, divided into six categories: Happy, Surprised, Afraid, Disgusted, Angry, and Sad. I scrolled through the offerings for a minute, reading the titles and reviews about the movies of my life. It really bothered me that there were so few selections in the Happy section.
The number of Sad movies increased by one.
I walked over to the mirror and noticed there was a small sticky note pasted to it. “Astral Realm. Experienced users only.” I shoved the note in my pocket and stared at my image. Sturdy black boots, black denim jeans and shirt with mother-of-pearl buttons, deep brown gun belt slung at my hip, red bandanna and black felt hat. All I needed was a pencil moustache and I would look like the stereotypical villain in any spaghetti western. At that very moment I decided to grow out a goatee. I’d rather be mistaken for a bad guy than a victim.
So how does this astral realm thing work?
The mirror appeared to be nothing more than a mirror. It was cold, smooth glass surrounded by a wrought iron frame, and reflected my image. I didn’t necessarily want to go walking into danger, but I wanted to know how it worked. I pushed and prodded the glass in frustration until I noticed my image grinning at me. I jumped back in surprise and it doubled over in silent laughter.
“Hilarious, dude. You got me,” I huffed. “So how do I get in?”
My mirror-self tipped his hat and stepped to side.
I reached up to the mirror again and my hand passed through, vanishing as if cut off. Okay, just a quick peek and we’ll explore the rest of the room. I stepped through and the world shifted around me. I was standing back at the campsite. My body was insubstantial as a ghost and the tarp was a wisp of substance running straight through me. Non living things don’t seem to have much presence in this realm. Glancing down, I saw my sleeping body rolled up in the blankets, a thin silver thread running from it to me, and another thread running to Horse.
Looking around, I surveyed the campsite. My astral vision seemed to be on and had an unlimited range. I could see the life all around me, the distant forest was a sea of greenish-gold, grasses and brush nearby glowed with spectral light. Tiny ghost insects scurried while ghost mice nibbled at whatever ghost mice nibble on. Ghost seeds and ghost insects, I suppose. I turned my attention overhead and gaped at the sight of a monstrous serpentine spirit flying through the inky void. I dropped back through the tent and rolled inside my body. That was plenty enough for now.
I rolled through the mirror and landed flat on my back, staring at the fresco on the ceiling. Vinnie-God winked at me and Vinnie-Adam grinned. Climbing to my knees, I brushed non-existent dust from my trousers and watched mirror-me doubled over in soundless laughter.
“Hey, laughing-boy!” I yelled at him. “You’re like the guardian or something, right? You got it covered?”
Mirror-me stood and saluted with a smile, then gave me two thumbs up. A moment later, his face took on a serious expression and he wriggled his right hand in the ‘maybe’ motion. Then he pointed at me, tapped his wrist, and then a finger to his head.
It all depends on how fast I learn stuff, I guess.
Two thumbs up and a winning smile reflected back to me.
A large cork board was mounted to the wall over the computer and a small note was pinned to it. “Note to self: Don’t fuck with the Elvish womens.”
The computer screen featured a screensaver of me as Vitruvian Man doing callisthenics over the words ‘HumanOS’. I tapped the spacebar and was rewarded with the sound of powerful fans kicking to life as the computer emerged from sleep mode and prompted me for a password. Should I assume it’s the same as the password on the computer I pawned in my previous life?
Password: *******esi
I was rewarded with a sweet R&M desktop and a couple of icons. System, NeuralNet, My-Tunes, My-Movies, My-Office.
System was just what I expected, lots of .dna files and other confusing scariness that allowed me to tweak my physical body and mental state. My-Tunes was a collection of every song I’d ever heard and My-Movies was a collection of every movie I’d ever seen. Not that I’m complaining, but it would have been nice to have “My-Games” so I could play RDR. My-Office was a clone of the popular software by a similar name. I have no idea what I’ll ever need a spreadsheet for in this world.
NuralNet opened up a search engine called Me-Seeks, featuring a familiar blue guy.
I typed in “beer” and several thousand results were displayed, anything I’d ever read, heard, or watched about beer, including how to make it. This right here made the price of admission totally worth it, access to an exact copy of everything I’d ever read, and I was a voracious reader. Sadly, most of the stuff I read was futurology — solar panels, electronics, biotech advancements, quantum computing. The material for steam engines, blacksmithing, farming and the like, were slim pickings. That’s okay though, I could still reproduce the Gutenberg press, the cotton gin, simple internal combustion engines, and basic batteries along with some sketchy knowledge of metal alloys, acids, bases, and other things I had read over the years. All that wasted time watching “How Things Work” was finally going to pay off. I copied a few likely money makers to My-Office, saved the file, and exported to my Notes, just in case they didn’t exist on Aerth.
A popup covered the screen.
📱 [New Upgrade Available!] 📱
🎉 Enhance Your Experience with the Latest HumanOS Features! 🎉
🌟 Features Include:

• 🧠 Memory Booster: Increase your Memory for smoother multitasking and improved performance.
• 🔋 Energy Optimizer: Extend your battery life with advanced power-saving techniques.
• 🛠️ Utility Upgrades: Access new apps and utilities to enhance your daily life and adventures.
• 🗺️ Advanced Mapping: Never get lost again with enhanced GPS and location tracking.

🔥 Special Offer: Only 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0! 🔥
[Upgrade Now ✅] [Remind Me Later ❌]
Apparently I could upgrade myself, which reduced the cost of using my Utilities while providing other minor benefits. My Utilities would level up as I used them, which would increase their battery cost, so if I didn’t keep pace with an update to the OS they could become prohibitively expensive to operate.
Stupid pay-to-win world.
So, do I pay 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0?
I selected version 3.0 and klicked [Install]. After watching it download the update, it popped up another screen that asked if I wanted to update now, or wait until Midnight for the mandatory update.
I selected [No] just as the grandfather clock chimed 10:30 PM. I wondered if time ran slower in here, because it seemed like I had spent a lot more time on the computer than 15 minutes. Walking over to the imposing steel door, I noticed a bronze key with a thin chain in the lock. There was another sticky note on the door. “Subconscious. Please keep the key with you at all times.”
That’s not scary at all, is it?
I unlocked the door with a loud clunk and pulled it open to reveal a bedroom straight out of some royal castle. I could tell immediately that it had seen better days. The tapestries on the wall were frayed and fading. The canopy over the bed had a few holes in it. A thin layer of dust covered the mantle of a small fireplace set into the wall. There was a window letting in bright sunlight and I moved over to look outside.
I was on the third floor of a keep surrounded by the walls and turrets of a modest castle. A castle that had fallen into serious disrepair. Did this represent the state of my inner mind? One tower was shattered and the curtain wall under it damaged. The lower bailey was full of litter. I could see a few soldiers walking around the allure, keeping watch.
I have people in my subconscious?
Someone behind me cleared their throat.
Whirling, I discovered a familiar old man standing in the door of the bedroom. What was left of his hair formed a white halo around his head, his face was unshaven and covered with several days of growth. He was dressed like a poor and tattered manservant, but carried himself with a dignified air.
“Woodhouse?”
“It’s nice to see the master at home,” He said with a proper English accent. “There are many matters that require the master’s attention.”
“Uh, sure,” I said, hanging the key around my neck and tucking it in my shirt. “And who are you again?”
“Your personal manservant, of course” he said with a slight bow. Walking over to the steel door, he pulled it closed and it locked with a solid thunk. “Master should always keep his inner sanctum closed. One never knows if something nasty will creep in.”
“Thank you, uh, Woodhouse. I’ll remember that,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “So what needs tending and how do things work around here?”
He smiled and beckoned me with a white gloved hand. “If master would be so kind as to follow me, I’ll introduce him to the staff and explain the duties and obligations of his domain.”
I’m 99.9% certain that everyone here is just me wearing a mask, so I shrugged and followed Woodhouse out of the bedroom and into the rest of my subconscious.
Five minutes later I was on the ground floor and seated on a shabby throne with the cast of a popular —and probably very copyright protected— animation in front of me. Woodhouse was the head butler and my personal manservant. Pam was the cook and demanded that I start importing sugar and alcohol before she was shushed by Woodhouse. Carol was a maid. Krieger was chancellor and Cyril was the steward. Archer and Lana were in charge of security. Ray was the marshal in charge of everything from the stables to the blacksmith.
I stared in disbelief at the motley crew kneeling in front of me. No wonder my inner mind was in such shambles. I was overcome with an irrational sense of anger at myself.
“Arright, listen up,” I barked, my voice echoing around the room. “I swear to God that I will fire every single one of you and hire circus clowns to replace you if you keep fucking things up. No joke. Circus clowns, got it?”
I ran a hand over my face as Ray pissed himself. “The only reason I’m not putting a boot in your asses right now is because I realise that you’re aspects of me, and the people you represent are pretty damn good at their jobs when they give enough of a shit to actually do them. As a team, you’re dysfunctionally fantastic and always seem to come out ahead no matter the odds.”
Heaving a sigh, I continued. “Things have changed and I need to get my shit together. I’m going to need every one of you to pull your weight and help me help you. Get back to your duties, I’ll meet you one on one later.”
My subconscious caretakers scurried out of the room.
“I’ll have one of the maids tend to the piss,” Woodhouse assured me.
“Never mind that,” I snapped. “I honestly had no idea my mind was such a shit show. I’m very disappointed in myself.” I pictured the Angry, Sad, and Disgusted counters on my personal movies clicking up. “Show me what needs to be done and let’s get started.”
During Woodhouse’s walking tour, everything clicked into place. This was some altered version of Bodiam castle, a location that was on my bucket list of places to visit. The royal council room, located behind the throne room, contained a “living” tapestry on the wall that showed the castle and surrounding land in real time. The castle was located in the middle of a small lake, and a single wood bridge led to the mainland. A small town surrounded the lake and a wall encircled the town. Outside the wall, the land was an irregular patchwork of forest and field, with a stinking swamp to the south. The entire “kingdom” was maybe ten miles across, surrounded by impassable mountains with innumerable creeks that fed the lake which drained into the southern swamp.
“Zombies are the problem, sir.” Woodhouse said, as I surveyed the living tapestry of my mental domain.
“Zombies?” I prompted.
“Yes sir, Zombies” Woodhouse continued. “Nasty bitey things that come in from the mountains and harass the peasants. They’ve gotten especially worse over the last few months. The soldiers do what they can, but they seem to have lost all motivation. Probably because they haven’t been paid.”
“And who pays them?”
“Typically chancellor Krieger is in charge of financial matters, although Steward Figgis has taken over the duty, sir.”
“Then let’s make Figgis our first stop.”
“Very good, sir.”
The office of the steward was run by Cyril Figgis, who managed the kingdom in my absence. It was overflowing with paperwork and charts, books and scrolls piled high on every flat surface. Cyril was desperately attempting to tidy things when Woodhouse and I walked in.
“Yo..you..your majesty,” Cyril stuttered, bowing low. Scrolls fell from his overloaded arms, spilling across the floor. He dropped to his knees and scrambled to gather them up. “I didn’t expect you to visit so soon. Please forgive the mess, housekeeping has been slacking…”
This was the guy who ran things while I was conscious.
“Shut up, Cyril” I said. “You’re responsible for everything in this office. That includes keeping it organised and tidy.”
“Y..yes milord.”
“It’s my understanding that you’re in charge of making sure everyone gets paid. So why aren’t we paying people?” I asked.
“We’re nearly out of Fuks, your majesty. I’ve been saving them for emergencies.”
“Fucks?”
“Fuks,” Cyril explained, pushing a pile of books off a large chest and opening it. Reaching inside he pulled out two small bags and emptied them on top of his cluttered desk. “Gold and Silver Fuks, the currency of the kingdom. I can’t maintain the kingdom when I have no Fuks to give.”
Behold the subconscious kingdom of Vincent J. Carter, it runs on Fuks.
“So how do I get more fuks?” I asked, examining one of the coins. It had an image of me on one side and symbol on the other that could be interpreted as “peace among worlds”.
“You kill the zombies, your majesty.”
Of course I do.
Woodhouse and I left Cyril’s office and headed towards the office of the chancellor where Krieger worked. It seemed that Cyril took over financial matters when Krieger became erratic and proposed luring all the zombies into the city and setting it on fire. Not sure how that corresponds to my own self-destructive behaviour, but I’ve had some dark thoughts over the last couple of months and I’m sure they’re reflected here.
Krieger’s office was much neater in comparison to Cyril’s, but it wasn’t by much. Shelves lined the walls and were filled with an array of questionable items, including a still snapping zombie head in a jar. While the office of the chancellor was supposed to be in charge of financial matters, it looked more like a dodgy rummage sale.
Krieger was launching sword blades at a pig carcass when we walked in.
“What exactly are you doing?” I asked, standing in the doorway.
“Hm? Oh, your majesty!” he said, turning around and bowing deeply. “I’m testing a new invention. It’s a spring loaded hilt that shoots sword blades. Very useful for our soldiers.”
“Stupidest idea ever,” I snapped. “I hate everything about it.”
“Okay,” Krieger said, tossing the hilt into a nearby pile of junk. “But don’t blame me when you need to shoot a sword at a zombie and don’t have one.”
“So why aren’t you managing the financial affairs? Collecting taxes, paying people, stuff like that?”
“Because the population has declined so much none of that matters?”
“What do you mean?”
“Wellll, the population represents things you care about,” Krieger said, going into lecture mode. “And the zombies and other monsters are real or imagined problems in your way. Since you don’t care about too many things the population has shrunk to just what’s needed to keep everything running on the bare minimum of fuks. And since you don’t seem to have any long or short term goals, there’s no need to kill off the zombies and get more fuks. Everything is fine just the way it is.”
“No, it’s not Krieger” I said, grinding my teeth. “My mind is in a shambles. It’s a joke. I want it fixed. No, I want it better than fixed. I want it improved.”
“Oh! I’ve got just the thing for that!” He said, digging around in his pockets, “It’s a spring-loaded hilt that shoots swords!”
Pam and Cheryl were hanging out a gallery window jeering at Archer and Lana sparring in the inner courtyard.
“What the hell are you doing!” I snapped
They whirled in surprise and then dropped into deep curtseys.
“Your majesty!”
I took a deep breath, trying to regain my centre. “Get to work cleaning this place up. Find a room, clean it, and move on to the next. Start with my bedroom, then the throne room and the council chamber, then everything else.”
Cheryl spoke up. “Can’t do it. We got no fuks to clean with.”
“You need fuks to clean?”
“Gotta buy stuff,” Pam said. “Cleaning supplies, food. You wanna eat, you’re gonna have to spend some fuks.”
“Talk to Cyril,” I ordered. “Tell him I said to get you supplied.”
They ran off in the direction of the stewards office.
I watched Archer and Lana bashing each other enthusiastically through the window.
Several minutes later the sparring couple stopped and bowed when Woodhouse and I stepped into the inner courtyard.
“Your majesty”
“My liege”
“Enough,” I said. “If you have enough energy to smash each other, you have enough energy to smash zombies. Tell me what I need to know so I can start gathering fuks.”
Archer shrugged and spoke first. “You just kill the zombies and other monsters. They drop fuks.”
“Anything special about the zombies?” I asked. “Are they fast? Do people get turned into zombies when bitten?”
“Nope,” Lana said, resting her wooden sword on her shoulder. “Most of them are slow shamblers and just need a good wack to the head to kill them.”
“Some are special,” Archer interjected. “Occasionally you’ll have some fast ones, or those that need holy water to kill. They’re just bad memories, figments of your personality that need to be eliminated. Some are worse than others.”
“The zombies are bad memories?” I asked, imagining all the bad memories that I had.
“Memories, thoughts, insecurities, metaphysical mumbo-jumbo,” Woodhouse supplied. “They are endless, but constant vigilance can keep them under control.”
“So let’s get started,” I said. “Lead the way.”
Lana and Archer lead me up to the parapet over the front gate where I looked over at the dozens of zombies milling about aimlessly in front of the entrance to my mind. Pulling out my gun, I began to pick them off, easy as shooting fish in a barrel. The crack of my spell pistol attracted more zombies and I dispatched them with ease until no more were left around the gate. As I fired each shot I could feel some sort of existential energy flowing from me, draining some hidden reserve.
“Gather up the Fuks,” I commanded. “And Lana?”
“Mi’lord?”
“There’s no excuse for this. From now on, I expect the walls to be clear of all zombies.”
“Yes mi’lord,” she said, giving me a small bow.
Turning to Archer, I shook my head. “You’re obviously my personal narcissism, so just try to stay out of Lana’s way, or better yet - try to kill more zombies than her. If you think you can.”
Archer scoffed. “No contest. I took top marks in sharpshooting.”
“That means I should expect to see results by tomorrow. I look forward to it.”
Archer looked panicked for a moment then smiled. “Sure, I can give you results.”
Turning back to Woodhouse I said “Show me what else need attending.”
Woodhouse led me through the town that represented my mind, pointing out each business that had fallen into disrepair, suggested others that needed improvements, and additions that would benefit me. In the distance, I could hear Lana and Archer shooting at the crowd of zombies and with each echoing shot I felt a tiny bit better about everything.
[INDEX]

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- - - - -
Ceele strolled through the damp grass along the outskirts of the village, a spring in her step and the dwindling scent of dew following behind. It rained yesterday, which had prevented her from going out to gather supplies, but the mild morning air had been accommodating enough for her to get an early start and make the trip. She was glad she did.
One hand clutched her new prize to her chest, while the other held a fraying wicker basket filled with herbs and some edible roots she gathered by exploring the forbidden forest. Despite her reservations regarding where she chose to go, her excitement now lingered like a steady thrum of shifting stones, giving her energy that defied how long she had been walking. She all but pranced beneath the burgeoning night's sky, gleefully toeing the line between the dirt pathways of the settlement’s outskirts and the trees of unclaimed land. Normally, her path back home would never be so close to the village, but she was far too gleeful to mind. She had come back with a sense of fulfillment and a rare object—or if not rare, then hopefully of great value.
It was hard to point to any one specific reason that she came across the orb. There had always been a ‘draw’ during her travels, urging her that there was something missing in her life, yet it was no more than a mild whim to walk in a particular direction more often than not. Once she reached this part of the continent, she was compelled to wander, never quite able to explain why she obliged the sensation besides having nowhere in particular to be. Even when she finally settled somewhere, it stayed in the back of her mind, suggesting that she was close to whatever would make the pit of vacancy go away. She ignored it, purposefully distracting herself with her work and responsibilities, yet that could only last so long. When she awoke this morning with plans to resupply, and all of her newfound spots had been picked clean by wildlife, she turned to the depths of the forest where she was warned not to tread. It was all too easy to follow the subtle tug in her chest through the loose justification.
The urge to be somewhere grew unbearable with every step closer to the forbidden area. That sense of having a direction she needed to go became stronger and stronger, until she was well into land long since forgotten. She came across an overgrown depression in the hillside, and was entranced by the foreboding image. Something about the cave just…beckoned her. She was far too weak to resist.
Horrible tales echoed into her ears as whispers of fearful voices, warning and unending, yet but a dull drone compared to her hammering heart. She navigated the trees and brushed aside unkempt vines, stepping into the cavern with a mix of expectation and trepidation, then laid eyes on the small obsidian stone perched atop a crumbling pillar. The feeling of needing to travel somewhere…stopped.
The pull was absent, which was why she held the orb close instead of placing it into her basket. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but she recalled overheard tales of hidden gemstones, deep cavernous expanses, and the untold terrors that lay within. Comparing the scenes of those fables to the cave seemed foolish now; it wasn’t some torturous chamber, but a dusty depression in a small hillside. Besides, anything this pretty was sure to be worth a fair sum, and she needed the coin. Yet the thought of selling the precious-looking stone was a conflicting one. She shook off the thought for the time being, turning her attention back towards where she was going.
Shadows stretched and faded as the moon stole the last of the illumination afforded by the sun, replacing it with a calming glow that caressed the log frames and thatched roofs of various homes. A star-filled sky came into prominence as clouds lazily drifted away, revealing the promise of tomorrow’s fair-weathered arrival. It was too late for anyone to notice her treading on the edge of their town while lost in thought, but she was still careful not to get too close to the houses or livestock pens where people might be finishing the evening’s duties. It was best that they didn’t see her returning from a place she was told not to go. Still, her feet carried her near the dwellings as she took in the noises.
Ceele enjoyed the comforting chatter from a distance. Indistinct words floated freely. Meaningless gossip and warm goodbyes were exchanged between friends and family. Places of various occupations were dark and quiet, only the faint contented mewls and clucks of livestock coming from their pastures as they ate what was recently put out for them. No metal rang throughout the streets as it was struck inside a centralized smithy, no heated bartering came from an overactive trade house, and the crunch of dirt beneath transport or merchant wagons was absent, replaced by the rapid steps and yelps of children rushing to their homes before it got too dark out. It was all just gentle conversation and life drifting through the wind, taking the rustle of leaves along for the ride, just so she could hear it. Tranquil, in a word.
She wondered what it would sound like if she were yet one more voice within that crowd of kindness. Would it be loud like the larger cities? Would she struggle to maintain a thought with so many stray topics floating about? Would she once more yearn for the peace and quiet of solitude that she had grown used to, or would she immerse herself, free of judgment and laughing like the carefree young that scampered about? Did thinking about it even matter?
Her smile fell from its genuine intensity—still worn, but not as fully. She glanced downward as her stride lost its jubilant bounce, her tail losing its sway as her grey eyes examined the dry black scales that adorned her body against her wishes. It was the ugly hue of tarnished oil, unlike the skin of any other kobold she had met. Some had reds or greens, yellows or whites, while most were between a sandy tan or earthen brown. The rainbow of peculiarities was displayed by the lucky few, and she was one of them…
…Yet she was different in the worst of ways.
Even if she would rather any other colour, she supposed it was that way to make sure no one came near without accepting the unspoken risks. That was what her mother always said, anyway, though the woman hardly feared much of anything in her old age, and dedicated herself to giving her offspring all the love she had left to give—a perk of living a full life. She would always help her daughter bathe, complimenting the colour of what most were unnerved by. That was more than a decade ago now, however. Ceele’s parents had passed on while she was still young, and she took to travelling not long after, working at what she could to afford what little she needed. Never for long, though—just enough to get to the next town between where she was and where the urge to go lay. There were certainly moments she looked back on fondly, but the journey had taken its toll.
The crude material of her ‘dress’ was coarse, old, and heavy, but it helped ease the worst of spring's chill—even if it was more of a modified sack than proper attire. Still, it was all she had after the last of her clothing fell apart, and giving the repurposed material a name that reminded her of something else made it less uncomfortable to wear, somehow. It would have to do until she could afford a pitying seamstress or the like. Until then, she would pretend she didn’t look so desperate, even if it only highlighted her status and made finding work difficult.
But it did. The dishevelled garment was a far cry from the wonderful silks or breathtaking designs she had seen some women wear, harshly marking the distinction between herself and those of affluence. The clothing of commoners was also a leap in style and quality, so she couldn't say her attire was up to even modest standards. No matter how hard she squinted, and no matter how much she fantasized otherwise, she seemed every bit like the vagrant she was, down to the soil embedded in the curvature of her claws and the stains throughout her fabrics. She looked like a serf from the more oppressed lands, yet they too wore crude cottons, which said a lot about how she appeared to those who had never lived a life of servitude. It was obvious that she was an outsider. That she didn't belong amongst the rest. It made changing something as simple as her appearance all the more difficult; prospective employment always saw a young woman who seemed more likely to steal or swindle than make an honest day’s living.
There was one good twist of fate in recent memory, however, and she came upon the result of it after leaving the slowing bustle of the village behind. Her steps carried her through a small copse of trees on the outskirts of town, the small shaded path leading to the back of a large, carefully pruned clearing, a scattering of fruit-bearing trees providing even darker shadow than the already dim moonlight. She skirted along the aging fence on the border that kept predatory animals away, carefully hoisting herself over the barrier where a large vegetable garden she was responsible for tending resided. If one were to tell her she would be living in such an area several months ago, she would have smiled politely and walked away, yet here she was.
A modest, warmly lit home occupied the middle of the clearing, sitting front and centre when one approached from the village path. It looked quite cozy, surrounded by berry bushes that were just beginning to bloom as the last dregs of winter slipped away. A front patio displayed a nice table and well-loved chairs, the rustic appearance only adding to its charm as a place where friends and family spent the warm summer afternoons. A smithy to the left of the house functioned as an additional heated building during the colder months, but usually served as a storefront and to muffle the sounds of hammered iron, though that had become less common. An old stable was nearby, close enough to be accessible, but not so close as to disturb the once occupying animals with sounds of iron craft. It hadn't seen a horse in quite some time, apparently, so it was mostly a workshop for whatever tasks didn’t require fire or metal.
There was a long history attached to each little detail—from the scuffs along the wooden siding to the depressions in the ground where daily routine wore into the earth. Every fault suffered throughout the years was matched by a thousand quirks that made it feel welcoming, like the house itself was merely waiting for the next friendly face with one of its own. She knew that the inside of each building would look just as cared for.
Her concern lay outside, however. It was a comparatively miniscule space just barely visible through the sheltering trees, true, yet it was where her efforts turned into tangible results, and where a stranger’s trust was painstakingly repaid. Once overgrown grass had been laboriously trimmed, the weeds plucked and disposed of, and now nothing distracted from what she could claim she had done.
The small plots of rock-bordered soil had little buds of growing vegetables, a sense of pride never failing to bloom in her breast with the knowledge that it would be barren without her touch. When her troubles and concerns grew heavy, and fears of the future or spectres of the past loomed over her head, she could look at where she had brought life where it wouldn't otherwise be. Some days, that was enough. She smiled in appreciation at what was admittedly amateur work, the night’s sky helping to hide any inevitably made mistakes.
She enjoyed the sight for a moment longer, then turned to walk towards a neglected old tool shed that was well out of sight within the trees, far away from whatever warmth and comfort the larger house offered to everyone and anyone. She put a hand on the degrading wood of the entryway, giving one last sad smile at the garden as she dismissed selfish thoughts of taking the eventual harvest for herself. A breath cleared the uncertainty from her voice, and she pushed open the door.
“I'm home!”
= = = = =
It took a while for Altier to adjust to his situation, and even once he accepted that his mana wasn't being siphoned, he was still reeling from confusion. He had spent centuries with every year passing by without his notice, yet now he was painfully aware of each creeping second languidly dragging on with the expediency of growing grass. It was as disorienting as it was painfully nostalgic.
Time was something he was never good with, and it only got worse as a dungeon. He'd get lost in creating rooms, corridors, creatures, and whatever else needed doing, only pausing to watch or listen to the few adventurers he became interested in. There was a stint where he spent what felt like hours agonizing over new abilities or options while he let the system manage things in the background, though he supposed it might have been much longer. So many wasted days, yet he still hadn't managed to try everything he had gained access to. Some abilities were simply too niche, came with concerning titles, or held descriptions that made him wary. Anything with ‘Decay’ in the name was instantly ignored—he didn't need more reasons to fear his affinity, and from the few he took the effort to read through, they were always vile.
But his existence for the moment was no longer like those endless stretches spent pondering the minutiae of what would help his adventurers grow stronger. Now, he could follow the rhythmic sounds of footsteps and steady breathing that set a calming pace. They were someone else's, yes, but they contextualized how easy it was to slip away without the subtle noises of life that he had long since surrendered to help his family. Of course, there were more differences that he noticed since being removed from his crumbling cavern, and his sight was the newest change.
He never gave much thought to how far he could see before. Why would he? As a man, his world extended as far as he could fathom, yet was also confined to the room where he spent his days, and as a dungeon… Well, who was he to consider distance when an event happening miles away could be seen with a flicker of thought? Nothing was too far when it was within his creation. Or his ‘body,’ he supposed. Sadly, his entire perception currently consisted of the small sphere of his obsidian core, and maybe a finger's length beyond it—which is to say, not much. He could make out the fine details in the dirty burlap he was held against, and how pale moonlight slowly took over the blurred reds of sunset, but hardly anything more. It was all just frosted colours after a certain point, and he found it infinitely frustrating. He just wanted to peer beyond the haze and scaly hand holding him to confirm that the sky he remembered was still there. Alas, the sunlight faded at too quick a pace, yet one oh so agonizingly slow.
The ensuing darkness gave him nothing to do but think about where he was, not that he had any ideas. He was too curious about why he wasn't dead to bother much with his blurry surroundings after the soft-spoken kobold abducted him, thus why he only belatedly noticed how limited his worldview had become. There might have been a forest beyond his cave, but the greens and browns were gone, and the sounds of steps through brush was replaced by the distant din of a village. An idle curiosity pondered if he would recognize any descents of his ‘family tradition’ adventurers there, but he was being carried by what most considered a monster, so likely not.
That short musing was short-lived, however, and he brought his focus back to the matter at hand. He supposed he was being taken somewhere specific, but that was an obvious deduction, considering he was taken at all. The why of the matter was less so; for what purpose would someone want a Decay-aligned core? He hadn’t heard of them before…well, before he was made into one, but he couldn’t imagine many uses. Maybe he was being sold? His…kidnapper? His sudden companion seemed rather pleased by their discovery of him, so that might be the case, and it was morbidly amusing to think that a frail, sickly young man might one day become a coveted, highly valuable item. His abduction could also be a part of some cult’s nefarious activities, but he didn't want to think about that too hard. He experienced enough odd ceremonies from the adventurers who took the time to tell him their tales.
Either way, he wasn't in the dungeon anymore, and he couldn’t see where he was going. He tried to query his menu to glean an answer, but was met with a scrambled mess he suspected read ‘Synchronizing…’ and little else. It gave him a headache trying to make sense of it—which he didn't know was possible anymore—so he dismissed the text and distracted himself with blurs from whatever diluted senses he still had. There wasn’t much to observe other than the constant footfalls and the flicker of shadows on his companion’s burlap garment. They might have travelled through brush again, but it was too dark to really say for certain.
Eventually, there was something new. He heard an old latch rattle and rusted door hinges groan, then a shuddered clack that confirmed he was now in a building. His kobold acquaintance gently cooed at something before moving about the nearly pitch-black space, finally setting him down on a… He wasn’t sure what it was, besides old and wooden.
[D$#@m$n E@$*ded]
The headache from before became a blinding migraine that suffocated him under a flash-flood of suffering. Seconds passed in abject torture until it blissfully abated, the mental blinks clearing his mind enough to notice a change in his existence. Specifically, he could actually see something besides the rotting wood grain he was placed on top of.
And it wasn’t anything promising…
He was more or less in the centre of a room no bigger than twelve paces by maybe ten. Not a terrible size for a space, but it was clearly never meant to house someone. His resting place looked about as neglected as he surmised; it was an upturned feeding trough, he supposed, since calling it a table seemed too generous. The surface was rife with holes and degraded iron, so it was something that once saw regular use before being replaced and tossed into storage, never to see the light of day again.
Actually, most things in the room seemed to fit that description. The window shutters were installed with metal hinges that had since rusted them closed, the misalignment letting in a draft—and whatever weather was outside as well, most likely. A poorly carved bowl sat on the floor, the stain beneath it hinting that it collected any rainwater that slowly dripped from the leaky roof. The wooden floorboards looked old, splintered, and in need of maintenance or replacement, though an effort had been put into abrading it somewhat smooth lately.
A tiny and decrepit fireplace was to the left of the door upon entry, its brickwork slowly crumbling due to weathering and age. It was sized more for keeping the room warm during mild days than to keep away the frigid chill of night. Its base only held cold ashes, but there was a collection of deadwood and scraps nearby, so that would probably be rectified soon. A small wheel-less cart had been turned into storage against the opposite wall, some herbs and other foraged items stowed away in it for future use. Various things he remembered seeing his father and brothers use in the fields were scattered about, too. It was nostalgic to see, honestly, even if his recollections had blurred over time.
Bundles of tattered blankets formed a pair of nests in the far corner, the smaller of the two had a pile of rough plants nearby. That answered his silent pondering of the room's purpose somewhat, though he was pretty sure the bedding material was salvaged, and there didn’t seem to be any hay or padding underneath whoever was sleeping on it. He didn’t know what to think about the weeds; they were purposefully placed there, and whoever did so had taken the time to wash them, but it was still strange.
He couldn’t see a doorway besides the entrance, yet most of the hallmarks of residency were put where space could be afforded, however crude. All in all, he surmised that it was a gardening shed of sorts, and his new acquaintance apparently lived here. He wasn't sure what he was expecting when a creature he had only read about came into his dungeon, but it wasn't being brought to a rundown and decrepit shack for unknown purposes.
Even if he had been raised by parents who made a humble living at the best of times, and they had emptied their coffers for unsuccessful attempts to ease his ailments, his acquaintance's living space made him uncomfortable. His family's house was never anything fancy, true—it shared some of the worn qualities that inevitably gathered over the years—but it was never this bad. His home benefited from a father's touch keeping it robust and a mother’s love keeping it warm, whereas this place had seen neither in quite some time. Oh, there was evidence that such was once the case; a wall was adorned with carefully made and well-spaced hangers for the various gardening tools, though the implements themselves had become a victim of neglect. That being said, he could make out the fresh soil and recent scratches exposing furrows of silver, so they were seeing use again.
A scrape and clack of flint drew his attention to his kobold companion. They were kneeling in front of the fireplace, methodically sparking life back into a dead flame with twigs and dried leaves. A slow, steady breath into the reddened base illuminated its face with a dull orange glow, revealing its weary visage and the permanently etched smile that rested beneath its cold grey eyes. The black-scaled kobold looked tired, if he were to guess—much the same as Altier did when he spent countless days watching everyone living a life he could never have through the mossy window of his bedroom. He was probably humanizing it too much. Still, he was surprised by the muted pang of sympathy, and how he would feel much more than blithe curiosity after spending so much time alone in the crumbling crypt of his own making.
A mental breath cycled through him as he looked at the odds and ends yet to be observed. Hardly anything else was of note—everything else was degraded and neglected, too. He did notice a nest of blankets move though, which was as good a distraction as any. The answer to his previous ‘pile of weeds’ inquiry poked a tiny nose from a crease in the fabric, then rapidly pawed at the blankets to dig itself out. Altier stared at the creature in both recognition and confusion.
It was a rabbit…or at least it looked like one, assuming you were to also describe a porcupine and a sea urchin as well. He was pretty sure he didn’t remember any hare that had jagged metal-tipped fur, nor that had said fur arranged into a row of spiked horns that flowed down its spine, terminating at a large fluffy tail, which was equally bizarre to see. The whole of its coat could double as a weapon, with semi-sharp barbs sticking off seemingly at random, yet he remembered an adventurer saying most animals used that sort of thing defensively. He increased his focus as he tried to make sense of the odd creature. Surely he would have heard about—
[Hoppittttttt#%%÷ — Ferro-o-orabbit-it (Ma%$le)
Abil—]
[Null]
[Er0Rrrrrrrr—]
[Und#$f—]
He bit back the pain caused by the sudden intrusion of his menu, blanking out the text and mentally retreating to hide from the source. Did he just inspect something? How? Shouldn’t his entire…‘framework,’ was it…? Yes, that was it. Shouldn’t that have been corrupted? Why could he see the creature’s information when his entire framework was damaged? That was the first ability he lost, so why is it the first to be functional? How was it functional? Was it? It did just spit garbled text at him, but it was something, and that was more than he had gotten from it in a very long time. If it was somehow working—no matter how poorly—then that left the question of why he hadn't heard of anything called a ‘ferrorabbit’ before, assuming he read that correctly.
A soft thud vibrated the tro— table, startling him out of thought. He turned his attention to the button nose wiggling erratically at him, the short, stubby muzzle leading to surprisingly expressive and curious red eyes. Dull brown fur jutted off in random tufts and patches, changing to a darker tint on its paws and the upper half of its ears, while the tips of its spikes were a muted hue of iron. It still seemed just as soft as the less pointed variety he remembered, if a touch dirty. Upright ears twitched this way and that way as its head vigorously shook, eventually settling on pointing in his direction when it calmed down enough.
It was apparent that he had its undivided attention…for all of a few seconds. His scaly companion called something out in their foreign tongue, and whatever conclusion the pointy-furred animal came to, it seemed more interested in the kobold, parting from him after nudging his core with its nose.
[Cre-e-e—]
[Errrrrrr0r: Undefiiiiiiii—]
[Acceeeeep-t-t-t??]
[Yeeee— s s / Nnnnnnn—]
He winced at the intrusion, but the contents detracted from the pain. He couldn’t remember the system ever asking him a question without his explicit intent being involved. It wanted him to…accept something? Was it the system prompting him, or the animal? What was he to accept?
[Creatuuuuu—]
[Acce-e-e-%#@ed!]
…What?
= = = = =
“Hoppit, that's not food!” Ceele admonished half-heartedly, placing a larger branch on the burgeoning flame before she got to her feet. She wasn’t actually that worried; the stone was as big as his head, and she was pretty sure he couldn't bite into it. Hopefully. “Come here, momma has a treat for you!”
The ferrorabbit playfully bumped the gemstone and jumped off the low table, landing with a soft thud that belied how heavy he was for his tiny size. He wiggled in excitement, his ears flailing and releasing a slight clack whenever the two connected. It got even louder when she grabbed her basket and put away the useful herbs, taking out a specific item that she had gathered just for him. The little bun wasted no time in scurrying over and standing tall on his hind legs to judge if the offered plant was to his liking—and it was, based on how he dug in with enthusiasm. She stifled a laugh as she contentedly watched him nibble away on the treat, ignoring the guilt that came with knowing she couldn't afford proper vegetables for him. He had a hard life too, and it tore at her to have so little to give.
She came across Hoppit a year ago, during a storm that worsened while she was travelling between towns. The day had darkened to night in spite of it still being about noon, but the weather didn't care for how bright it was supposed to be. Wind and rain became a typhoon, forcing her to seek shelter in a thankfully abandoned den of what was probably a larger animal. She was fine with waiting out the squall, since the stone roof over her head was more than she usually had back then, but the sounds of dull bangs and thuds near her hideaway was followed by cries of animals yelping in pain. Curiosity won over reason, and she left the safety of her shelter to see what was causing the disturbance. Truthfully, she was hopeful that she'd come across scraps or the like, her hunger driving her forward, and she could always turn back if it seemed dangerous. Yet when she arrived at the source of the commotion, she found herself thinking of anything but food.
Two predators had fought over a small burrow, both trying to dig out a meal and taking offence to the other doing the same. What they didn’t know was that they were assaulting the home of ferrorabbits. Specifically, the home of an angry, protective, and well-fed mother that was keeping her newborns safe from the storm when predators decided to try their luck. From the scene Ceele came across, it was certainly obvious why most people dislike trying to hunt the creatures.
Sadly, the rabbit didn't survive an attack from two predators, but she did make their victory pyrrhic; neither could do much about their hunger with their bodies full of cuts and holes, and it was only a matter of time before they succumbed to blood loss or infection. The mother's sacrifice meant that the babies had avoided the imminent threat, but they were left unattended as a consequence, and it took an opportunistic bird swooping down to shake Ceele out of her shock. Despite her subsequent hurry, she only acted in time to save one of the orphaned young. The warren was new and barely dug out, which meant that it didn’t take much effort for the kits to be found—by both her and hungry maws. All she could do was scoop the ball of fluff into her arms and run back to the cave before anything else tried to eat it.
In retrospect, it was a stupid decision for a number of factors. She barely had the resources to supply herself, and an attempt to raise offspring of any type would only make the inevitable heartbreak worse. But when she saw how quiet and scared he was… How his tiny, shaking body calmed in her arms, those terrified red eyes seeking comfort… She should have just walked away when she knew there wasn’t going to be anything to fill her stomach. She should have put the baby animal down and let nature take its course…yet the preciously furry face stole her heart far too quickly for it to grow so cold. The next day was spent backtracking to the nearest town to get him something suitable to eat, which used most of her meagre savings. Still, it was worth every coin.
Hoppit had been accompanying her ever since. He grew quickly, transitioning from something she saved that stormy night into a presence she had grown to love like a child. The little lagomorph would bounce along beside her during her travels, then ride in her arms as he rested—though the latter happened with worrying frequency as of late. She hadn’t learned much about the springy herbivores, but she knew enough to say that he wasn't as big as he should be, nor was his fur as sharp. No matter how startled he was, his spiky coat never managed to do more than stiffen slightly, which was apparently a side effect of poor diet, according to snippets of conversation she had overheard on the topic. She wanted him to be healthy, but she didn't know what he needed. Not many farmers raised ferrorabbits, and those that did were far away, so she didn’t have anyone to ask what she should be doing. Her best course of action was to give him what little she had.
Ceele was well aware of how he would be better off on his own, but he followed her whenever she tried to set him free. Hoppit just kept launching into her arms and wiggling his ears, ecstatic that he was with her again, uncaring that food was scarce and that they spent most of their days travelling. No amount of cold nights spent bundling up under the tattered blankets she managed to find ever dampened his spirits, and he was content to eat the grass or flowers whenever he felt like it, oblivious to the fact that he wasn’t getting enough nutrition. He would dig and excitedly drag back oddities that he found, and the one time he found a plant that looked particularly good for him, he insisted that it be shared with her.
A black pit still lingered in her chest when she recalled how pleased he was while he munched on the rare vegetable he discovered, then how distressed he became when she wouldn’t have any as well. He bumped and nipped at her, all but begging her to eat. His ears pinned back against his head, his fur bristled in a way she hadn’t seen since. It was only when she took a small bite and let him inspect the new teeth marks that he seemed to calm down, but perhaps she had been looking too deep into the actions of her tiny friend. All she could say for certain was that he was scared she was going hungry.
A morbid thought wondered if his first mother had refused food shortly before being attacked, and he—as small and simple as he was—had connected the two events in his mind, making him absolutely terrified that something would happen if Ceele didn’t have something too. All of that fear, and desperation overwhelmed him, just because she was happier watching him eat. She was determined to erase that issue. She would find something that needed a worker and earn enough to feed them both. One day, she would be able to smile at how big and healthy her little fluffy boy had become, but until then, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to think about how she was spending so much time growing vegetables and fruit that he couldn’t have…
Every morning was an exercise in tending to the gardens while actively shoving down images of a pleased ferrorabbit happily eating the results. That never went well; no matter how determined she was to complete her duties without a single selfish thought, most tasks were done while picturing his full belly and delighted bounces. There were a few weeks until the fastest of the crops would be ready for harvest, and Ceele would have to collect them while fighting the urge to bring back just a few for him.
She couldn’t, because she knew exactly how quickly that could escalate. It would start small—A vegetable here, a fruit there—but seeing Hoppit happy was one of the precious few good things she had in her life. Crossing the line would only become easier each time. They couldn’t risk losing their new home over greed, and she was already betraying the trust given to her by housing a wild animal, especially one known to be a pest for crops. She didn't want to know how angry it would make her benefactors if she was caught taking their vegetables for one.
No matter how tame and precious Hoppit was, and no matter how well he listened, they would only see him as the same creature that ruined harvests in droves. Thus was why she had to tell him to stay cooped up by himself while she was working or scavenging. And to her surprise, he did.
Honestly, she had made the initial request with the expectation of needing to carry him back into their home until he understood that she wasn’t leaving him forever. There wasn’t much she could do to stop the ferrorabbit from digging through the old wooden building if he wanted to get out. He wouldn’t need to damage anything either—a rotting board on the door only needed a little push to nudge it out of the way, and his natural curiosity made sure he was aware of it. But no, Hoppit was well-behaved as always, keeping hidden until she walked through the door, where he would leap from the shadows to personally show her how good he was and how he stayed put like she asked him to. It never stopped amazing her that he had such a surprising level of understanding despite being an animal, and that was to say nothing of how young he was.
All that intelligence, joy, and companionship he offered her…and yet the best she could give back to him was the weeds from the garden and the odd plant she found while scavenging…
Soft clacks of flicking ears dragged her from her pondering, her mind returning to the present. Hoppit finished his treat of the small plant, then bounced in place and scurried over to his bowl of water, perfectly happy to have eaten only that. He was so joyful with how little she provided, approaching every day of scarcity with the same enthusiasm she could never muster, as if certain that everything would be alright.
“It’s bedtime, Hoppit,” Ceele announced through a soft sigh, stoking the fire with enough branches to hopefully last the night. The ferrorabbit perked an ear in her direction, then sat on his haunches to extend the rest of himself up, his two little forepaws adorably held to his chest as he inspected the room like he always did. She smiled and made sure everything was stored away, then laid down on her bundle of blankets, covering herself with the warmest one. Hoppit bolted over to snuggle once he decided everything in the shed was up to his standards, throwing himself to the floor in a dramatic flop of comfort. Her quiet laughter subsided as they both settled in for the night, her tail completing the rabbit’s encompassing cuddle, but her eyes fell towards the obsidian orb on the table, her thoughts following suit.
It sat there, just as she left it, as benign as anything else ever placed atop the improvised furnishing. Yet there was a sense of ease and purpose as well. The old wooden trough seemed…important with its adornment firmly laid upon its surface, and she couldn’t puzzle out why. She was starting to doubt her earlier excitement.
Should she sell it? Would anyone know where it came from? Would anyone know what it was, or if it was worth anything? If she could get even a modest sum for it, she would be able to buy clothing, food, and new bedding. It would be easier to convince someone to give her work if she was dressed better and wasn’t so thin, and then she would have the income to slowly improve both of their lives. She could pay for a wandering merchant to ask a ferrorabbit rancher about the animal, even if it would take time to get back to her, or maybe she could hire a local if they needed to go near one for some reason. The cost didn’t matter to her as long as it happened.
But there was something else bothering her about the idea of selling the stone. She had travelled so far with a tug in her chest, only for the feeling of wanderlust to dissipate as soon as she held it. Was that a sign? She was never one for things like ‘fate,’ but a niggling doubt in her mind discouraged the idea of making a profit off her discovery. Even if what she could gain was so very tempting, and even if Hoppit would be happier if she did…
She tore her dampened eyes away and closed them, ignoring the burning trails running across her face. It would be another early morning, and she needed to sleep so she could take care of the garden. Decisions like this could wait. Once she had nothing else distracting her, and she had time to properly think about it, she would see how she felt about the stone.
Eventually, she dozed off with Hoppit pressed against her chest, and a longing in her heart.
Next
—
A/N: Patreon and Ko-fi will be 1 chap ahead this time around, and I've set it so everything from the lowest tier up can read the newest trashfire! Anything above that is sheer show of love. Hope you enjoyed!

Hi I just came across a novel, chosen by the moon novel by izabella W. Its on pay by chapter websites, I've opened and read a few chapters but I can't seem to find any free version or chapter version anywhere. Please help. If anyone has read it I'm willing to take spoilers. Here's the advert I found below of it on Facebook.
Lycanthrope species is a disgusting race. And I, Delan Riley, am nothing more than a human scum in their eyes never expected those species would turn my world upside down. Since when the lycans managed to penetrate our town, like in the early 1900's we have a hierarchy, upper class = the lycans, middle class = mated humans, and lower class = the normal humans, who were basically considered scum. I endured their torment day after day, vowing to run away from them one day, until that day came and everything changed.
Dylan POV "Humans," I scowled at the principal's words from tannoy. "The Alpha twins will be celebrating their birthday tomorrow, as such, festivities are in order." Oh great, the Alphas twin children. Adrian and Arya are the worst lycans alive. I swear just because they are the alphas kids they literally get away with everything. If their birthday is tomorrow, then the wolves are going to be worse than ever. "All students will be present to greet them, two lines will be made, with humans on the left and the lycanthrope on the right. Any mated human will be at the front of the line for their year, you will all also be in order of your school year. That is all." Chat broke out the minute the tannoy was finished. "We haven't had a school gathering since the alpha king visited three years ago, before his sons coronation." Nick was right, the last time we all gathered like that was for the king and queens visit, when he decided to let the world know that he was to renounce his title to his only child, son Josh. "That sick bestard, he wants to make sure everyone is there so those idiot twins can find their mates." Yes I was mad, my fists connected with the table in front of me once more as I thought about how disgusting the situation was. You see the twins will be turning 17, so it's very possible someone in our school could be their mate, finding a mate is sacred to a wolf, the minute they say that one word your fate is sealed. They will turn your mind, morph you into being a lover of their kind, and then you'll give in.

That won't happen to me, I'm growing old to see the world as it once was, and I'm going to choose who I'll be with. No one will take that dream away from me.

Once dinner was finished, I just wanted to sleep. I'd had a very long tiring day, I quickly sat down on a small stool my mother kept in the storage closet and removed my shirt while my brother Freddy sat at the table to do his simple homework. It wasn't long before my mother came in with a large bowl of warm salt water and some cotton, this was going to sting I just knew it. She was here to help me with the wounds caused by wolves yesterday. She slowly began to unwrap the bandage from around my torso and slowed down drastically when it came to the final layer, I felt it peel off every wound and my fists clenched in pain. "Jesus!" I heard my mom exclaim once the dressing was completely removed. The air on my back was nice though and I sighed as my arm covered my once again exposed brests. "This is more than 15!" I began to hear sniffles coming from her and sighed turning round to look at her face, only to notice tears streaming down it. "Mom I'm fine, it's alright." She shook her head. "It's not alright, I'm your mother I shouldn't let these things happen. I'm so sorry. Your father would have..." here she goes again. Every single time something happened she'd always bring up dad, it really annoyed me because no matter how much we all wish he was here, he just isn't. My father was kiled by THEIR kind, almost 5 years ago when they actually managed to take over. When the lycans managed to penetrate our town my father rose up with some people from the neighborhood, to defend our livelihood, it was futile to say the least. We lost many people and I watched as my dad was ripped apart by two fully shifted wolves, I ended up shoting him to stop his suffering before they dragged me to the courtyard, i was the person to receive the first lashing of the town when I was 12! The wolves have been pretty strict with me since that day. "Stop being stvpid!" Was I harsh? Definitely! Did she need to hear it again, absolutely. "Dad is dead, we don't know what he'd do because he never knew this life. He never knew this world." I know what he'd have done, most likely attacked the guy who held the whip and got himself kiled in the process. "The best thing you can do for me, is stop crying and help me, next time don't insist on helping if you can't handle it." She began to wash my open wounds with the warm salt water causing loud winces to leave me, I knew it was necessary to prevent infection, but my god it hurt like a betch. "Some of these are really deep Dylan!" She sniffed again and my eyes rolled in my head. "I told you, I'm fine, just wrap me back up so I can get to bed." My mom was obviously more impacted by my injuries than I was, I suppose that always the case though. When it's happening to you, you've just got to get through it but when it's happening to someone you love, you just want to take their pain away. She quickly placed a fresh bandage around my waist and chest and wrapped it tightly for compression. The bowl of water that was used was now red in color, I guess from the blood my back was dripping with. "Can you keep your head down please? At least just this week. You can't take any more lashings." I simply nodded before standing up away from the stool, I walked over to Freddie and ruffled his hair in affection. "Good night squirt." He giggled and fixed his hair slightly. "Night Dilly." I smiled walking upstairs to my little bedroom, as soon as I was inside i shut the door and flopped down on to my bed on my stomach and I took a minute to cry to myself at the pain in my back, what my mom did was important but it hurt, not that I'd ever tell her. My hand covered my mouth quickly to muffle any noise I might be making. I couldn't tell anyone, I had to be strong because more and more people were crumpling these days, and my mom would break if she knew how much I was suffering. Sleep followed me shortly after, she was right though about me needing to keep my head down for the time being, I could not take another lashing! After a long night and an even longer morning, we were all finally stood in the hallway at school waiting for the twins to arrive. "Mine!" Everyone that was stood in the hallway tensed up, as we were seniors, me and Nick were stood towards the very back of the human line. All the mated people were situated directly opposite their wolf mates in their years. We stayed silent and still as Arya walked down the hall and stopped directly in front of Nick. His eyes widened in fear, unsure of wether to look up or keep his head lowered. "Look me in the eye, mate." He glanced at me slightly as if asking what he should do. "I said, look me in the eye." He slowly moved his eye line up to look at her face. I took a glance myself to see her eyes pitch black with lust. "I... can't... I mean... erm." Before he was able to mutter anything else, two wolves from opposite, grabbed him out of the line and dragged him behind Arya. "Hey!" My head shot up before I could stop myself. My mouth also forgot its place as I jumped out of line. Everyone's head shot to me as my eyes widened in realization at what I'd done. Adrian, the other twin, walked up to me before punching me right in the stomach, I doubled over instantly. Feeling the sting in my slightly healed back. "I know you... You were publicly flogged only two days ago." God I hate this guy. "I also have it on good authority, that you openly spoke out against our rules and regulations in yesterday's class." My head shot down the line slightly to see Erin, looking a little frightened, her mate, the beta to be was looking at her, nodding his head in reassurance. "You traitor, you grassed on your own kind?" I yelled at her before feeling a fist connect with my cheek. My head whipped to the side from the force, while my class members gasped. I'm so done with this treatment, right then, I wasn't in charge of my actions. My fists curled up and my stance became a lot more defensive. My head snapped up to the alpha to be, and I looked him in the eye. "You don't know the meaning of the word disrespect." I suddenly hurled my fist towards his head, which he easily dodged, but my foot came up and kicked him instead. He stumbled backwards from the force with wide eyes. "You... you Actually hit me!" He didn't even sound annoyed, more shocked. Everyone in the hallway was watching, waiting for the alpha to do something but instead he simply stood up straight, regaining his composure. "I think everyone should get back to class." He began to walk away, following his sister when I called him back. "What about Nick?!" "Simple, He's my sisters mate. He now belongs to her." Argh, he's not an object. "He's not her property." A chuckle left his mouth, before turning his back to me again. "All humans are property." A short while later everyone made it to science class, our teacher Mrs Mathews is mated to the lycans pack doctor, she also now has a four and two year old with him. She was one of the first humans to be cohered into a false relationship. "What were you thinking young lady?" I rolled my head at her before looking at the empty seat next to mine. Nick was with that stvpid wolf girl right now. Being changed, I'm so angry it's ridiculous. "I was thinking, this guy is being a prick. Did you hear him? 'All humans are property.' It's bull shet." I looked up and the whole class looked at me like I had three heads. Talking shet about wolves is one thing, but talking about an alpha is punishable by death, attacking an alpha is an even worse offense. There was then a knock at the door and in walked Erin and her band of mated bestards. "Sorry we're late Mrs." "Erin, how are things between you and bata Monroe?" She blushed, the traitor actually blushed at the mention of his name. "He spoke to me last night about trying for a baby. We need a good strong boy to take over as beta." I scoffed looking at her as she took her seat. "You guys are actually pathetic, why can't it be a girl? Those mutts are basically Neanderthals" I voiced my opinion and saw all the shocked faces around me. Calling the lycans mutts, is the same as them calling us scum. After lesson had ended the entire school was called into the hall for assembly. This is where any human who has been found to have broken the rules were punished, usually 10 lashings were goven out or something similar. "Welcome to the school assembly, congratulations to the alpha twins for finding both your mates. Now on to the business at hand, as the 5 year anniversary of the new world is coming up, we have been informed that the alpha king will be visiting our district next week, this is very exciting news. We want you all to look your absolute best, she wolves and mated females will wear exemplary dresses made by seamstress. Male wolves and mated men will wear tailored suits. Anyone who doesn't comply will be reprimanded." The Alpha King?! No one has met him yet, he took over the throne three years ago when he turned 18. He really didn't make any appearances though, great, this month is going to be a nightmare. "As for the humans, you will be given a new uniform to wear for the visit, these are to be neatly ironed and worn to the highest standard. As for the following humans, based on your attitude this past week, you will be coming to the front and facing punishment. Tony summerset?!" Tony's head shot up as he looked around, he was in the year below but he shared my views when it came to the lycans. He slowly walked up to the front of assembly, almost instantly his top was t0rn in two and he received 10 lashings. A girl named Kara was next and she too received 10 lashings. A few more people went up slowly accepting their fate then suddenly my name was called. "Dylan Riley." Inside I was terrified but I simply shrugged my shoulders, I guess I did kind of expect this. Although I'm not sure if my back can take any more damage. "You attacked an alpha, correct!" His eyes bored into mine as I bowed my head submitting to his authority. "Technically, no." Everyone in the school gym looked on in fear, as my head moved to the front row of the wolf side. Adrian sat, with a werewolf girl in the year below, her name was Jana, I guess he found his mate. Nick and Arya were no where to be seen though. Adrian gave me a shrug as if to say he didn't tell, before smirking at my comment. "He hasn't officially taken the alpha title yet, so he's just..." i looked at the principle and noticed his eyes black and his claws out, he was in what lycans call a half shift, triggered when the subject has become angered. He turned to two security wolves and gave them a nod, Almost immediately i was forced onto my knees, my arm was slammed on a table and held in place by one wolf, while my body was held in place by the other. "Ok, I don't think this is needed, I have alpha blood, a stvpid human girl can't hurt me." My head snapped to Adrian who had stood up in front of the school to stop what was happening. "Nevertheless, humans need to know their place." With that the pressure on my arm increased as our principals hand pulled my sleeve up before a long claw punctured my skin. The searing pain shoting from the fresh wound had my eyes scrunched and my fist clenched, I bit the inside of my cheek hard instantly tasting blood, however no sound left my mouth. He continued to write, using my skin as a canvas and his claws as a marker, it went on forever, my vision blurred slightly at one point as I turned my head away. After minutes of torture, he was done and the pressure on my arm eased, instantly I snatched my arm away, hissing through my teeth at the pain. I was about to scurry off stage, when I was roughly grabbed yet again, my arm being held in the air by the principal while my feet were inches off the floor, blood dripped from the wound and the pattern he had made was on show for everyone to see. Loads of people gasped, even the wolves looked slightly horrified at what had happened. "This is what happens when a human decides to speak out. I can promise, anyone who so much as says one word about our way of life, will have the same punishment." My arm was starting to seriously ache from being held in the air for so long, and the lack of blood flow to my suspended arm was causing me pins and needles, still I refused to make a sound. I held the tears back and I bit my cheek harder causing more blood to fill my mouth. "That's enough Bradley!" Adrian growled, he was still stood up and looking at the scene in front of him. His eyes hard as he stared at the principal a low warning growl erupted from his chest which had the head teacher gulping, he quickly let go of my arm causing me to crash to the floor. A small cry left my mouth as I hit the hard floor. Immediately I scrambled away, my foot just missed the high step leading to the stage and I fell, waiting for the impact of the ground, but it never came. Two strong arms wrapped around me catching my weak body causing me to look up, my eyes widened as I noticed Adrian had caught my falling form. "This isn't part of the human punishment program!" Adrian growled causing me to tense in his grip, I pushed him away from me before fixing my uniform top. The room was deadly silent, taking in the scene in front of them, while I stole a glance at my forearm. Carved into my skin by his devastating claws were two words, words that would most definitely scar my body for life. 'Human scum' "Lessons must be learned, she received lashing merely two days ago, and clearly it had no effect on her." Another growl left Adrian's chest as he stepped on to the stage, I wasn't bothered though, you would think I'd be ashamed but I simply smiled slightly. I fixed my sleeve a little so it wouldn't rub on the fresh wound before speaking. "It doesn't matter," the whole room looked at me shocked by my attitude. "I would rather be labeled human scum, than have any resemblance to your kind. I'm proud of what I am, how many of you can say that?" After my amazing little speech, I walked right down the middle between the humans and lycans and out the door. No more compliance, I'm going to get away with as much as I can without getting into too much bother. There will come a day when the lycans power will fizzle out. When it does I'll be ready, I'll be waiting for the day we take our world back. As for the best part about my plan...

No one can stop me.

"Ouch, not so hard." I seethed as the school nurse cleaned my new wound with antiseptic. "If you had of just kept your mouth shut, this wouldn't have happened." I turned to my right looking out the window at the few clouds that were floating in the blue sky. "Like I said, I'm proud to be human, and now everyone knows what I am." I clenched my fist together as the nurse began wrapping a bandage around my forearm. It had been a good few hours since the incident in the hall, and I had been forced to come to the nurces office after I had tried to clean my wound by splashing it with water from the tap, it also refused to stop bleeding. "You are impossible. Can you please just try and stay out of trouble? For one day, that's all I ask." Our school nurse is a wolf, she's one of them. However she hates the way they treat us mere humans, she thinks we should all just live in peace with equal rights. Like that would ever happen. "All I've done is stay out of trouble, but you are just going to humiliate me anyway, so what's the actual point?" "The pack were discussing a public execution, Dylan. You need to walk on egg shells from now on, not just for you but for your family as well." No ones been publicly executed in over 4 months, I'm flattered they're considering it. They only execute people who they believe are the biggest problems to society. "Well then... I'm flattered." I chuckled, before looking at the patch job. 'Huh, not too shabby.' I quickly stood up from the human nursing station and pulled the sleeve of my shirt down covering the evidence of ever being hurt. "This is serious!" I just gave her a blank look before leaving the room. On the way out I heard her call back to me. "Please just think about it." I gave a clipped nod as I walked away wondering how I'm going to tell my mom about this. Later in the evening... "Dilly why you say that?" Freddie looked up at me with a mouth full of bread. "Don't speak with your mouthful!" My mom scolded him as a bashful blush made its way to his cheeks. "Sowwy mommy." His reply was muffled as he swallowed the last chunk of food. "I said it Freddie, because it's the truth. The wolf race are a pathetic excuse for..." my mom cut me off with an extremely stern look. "Dylan! They have ears everywhere, one more word out of you and it's your room." I scowled, my hatred for the Lycan kind growing stronger as each day passes. "What more can they do to me, lash me? Beat me? Brand me? They've ran out of options." I stated slamming my hands down, then severely regretting it as sharp pain shot though my wound. "What was that?" My head shot to regard my mothers worried expression. Her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were dull and judging as she looked at me. "Nothing, it was nothing." I quickly took my plate in my hand and began to walk to the kitchen. "I'm not really hungry, and I have homework to do!" My mom caught hold of my forearm causing me to drop my plate suddenly, I watched it slowly fall before shattering on the floor. I retracted my arm quickly and turned to Freddie. "Stay there and don't move until it's cleaned up ok sport?" He just nodded with wide eyes, I turned back to my mom and noticed her curious stare on my arm. Her grip shifted to the other side as she turned it around before pulling my sleeve up. The bandage was showing and a bit of blood was seeping though after the wound had been disturbed. "What the hel happened?" My moms eyes widened as she began to fumble with the bandage. Before she could unravel any of it I snatched my arm away. "I had an accident at school. No big." I began to gather the large pieces of the broken plate up ready to put them in the bin. "What did you do Dylan?" She looked at me with pure worry and only then did I realize what the wound must look like to someone who didn't know. "For gods sake! I didn't do it to myself! I got publicly punished at the assembly alright? It's no big deal." Her face dropped instantly and she stepped towards me, causing me to step backwards. "Mom, I'm ok. So back off will you." "What did you do? I've never known them to cut someone's arm as a punishment." Her shock and accusation was evident in her voice and I sighed heavily. "I spoke against the alphas son." I may have hit him too, but I wasn't going to divulge that part to her. "It's not one big cut, mom, it's a brand, 'human scum' carved onto my arm." "They've branded you now too?!" My eyes rolled at her hurt tone as I went to get the dustpan and brush. "You're so much like your father." A sigh left her mouth as she spoke, running a hand through her hair, while I quickly swept up the little pieces of the broken plate. "You've had a new uniform delivered. It's laid out on your bed. Dylan, Please just try and stay respectful in the future, I don't want my daughter to be completely mutilated. Although you're not far off." "Gee, Thanks." I then walked over to my little brother Freddy before blowing a kiss into his neck and hearing him giggle. "So sport, how's school going?" "It's ok." He shrugged before going back to coloring a dinosaur picture in. "Well that's good, stay out of trouble, ok little man?" Heading upstairs and into my room, my thoughts wandered to the permanent graffiti scar very slowly healing on my arm. Disgusting beasts. Think they own the world because they're faster, stronger and can shift. Pah. If you ask me they are not all that.

The second I walked into my room my mouth dropped open. On my bed was some grey pants laid out neatly, which wasn't the surprising part, no, what shocked me was the grey high neck no sleeved button down shirt, every single set of uniform had sleeves except this one. They've done this on purpose those, mutts. They want the world to see my arm and know what a disgusting creature I am. They want the world to know that I, Dylan Riley, am nothing more than 'human scum'.

During the last week, I've been horrible, in class I've been loud in voicing my views, I've insulted at least everyone to some degree, I didn't care about the consequences, and I certainly didn't think about them. I haven't seen Nick at all since he was claimed, and to make matters worse today was the royal visit. Oh yes, werewolves and mated humans alike were spending every waking minute preparing themselves to meet his royal majesty, king of the wolves. Unclaimed Humans however would rather stick pins in their eyes. "Dylan, get down now... you're going to be late." She was right, I was dawdling this morning, I really couldn't be bothered today, I gave myself one last look in the small mirror and sighed when my eyes met my newly uncovered brand. It had bad bruising around the letters, and was still extremely tender to touch, it was definitely healing now though. I made my way down the stairs and came face to face with my mother who was seeing to Freddie, she was helping my brother get his coat on when she turned to me. "You ready sport?" Freddie nodded his little head at me and smiled while I quickly slid my shoes on. "Just Remember, the alpha is bad enough, Dylan, please, please don't do anything to anger the king." My mother stopped us from walking out the door to tell me something she had been telling me continuously for the last couple of days, it was almost as if the entire human population of our district was expecting me to do something stvpid. "Try and have a good day." I rolled my eyes but nodded, even I know not to push the king, he could kil me in the hallway like it was nothing. In fact I plan on staying out of his way for the entirety of the day. "We will see you tonight mom." I stated before me and my brother began our walk to school, his little hand clutched my own tightly as we went. Usually Nick would be with us, as he lives next door, well he used to, now he's residing in the main pack house. I quickly dropped Freddie off at his school and watched him get the wolfsbane neutralizer before walking into him building giving me a small wave before he went in. With my new scar on complete show, and my figure being complimented by the skin tight shirt I was wearing, I sauntered down the street to school, I gave my name and year in and took the wolf's bane neutralizer injection with no problems at all. It was finally getting into school that the problem occurred. Walking through the halls I was met by many looks, some of pity some of disgust. You see every single non mated human in the school was wearing a long sleeved version of the uniform I was given. All the Wolves and mated couples were scattered around in fancy floor length dresses or tailored suits. As I turned the corner I noticed a couple, now this couple happened to catch my eye the most out of all of them because it consisted of Arya and Nick, eating each other's faces off. "What the hel!" Nicks head shot to me as his eyes widened. He too was dressed in a tailored suit, a navy blue tie hung on his neck to match Aryas dress. Why was this happening all the time? It's always my friends that get completely brain washed. I shook my head in disbelief before turning my back on him. I heard his fast footsteps behind me as I rounded the corner. "Dylan?!" He ran right in front of me, stopping me in my tracks, making me drop my bag off my shoulder and almost causing me to bump into him. "Let me just explain..." "Has she marked you?" I mean you could almost see it in his eyes, she had marked him, and knowing the way life goes he's probably even mated with her. "Actually... Don't even answer that." I aggressively picked my bag up off of the floor and stormed off down the hall. "Dylan, just listen to me, Erin was right, it's so hard to resist your soulmate, and Arya is actually ok once you get to know her." I just kept walking, he caught up to me walking beside me but it didn't matter, I completely ignored everything and everyone. 'I'm so not in the mood today' getting into class was good though, I said hello to Mr Foley and took my usual seat. Nick sighed then took his bag off ready to sit next to me, but I snapped before he had the chance. "Traitors and mated idiots sit on that side of the room." I didn't look him in the eye as I pointed to a seat right at the front of the classroom on the opposite side. His eyes widened as he turned his attention back to me. "You can't be serious Dylan." I gave him a blank look before grabbing my book out of my backpack, I placed it on the desk then began to write the date on the top line. "I've sat in this seat for as long as I can remember." I ignored him, his voice sounded sad and shocked. "Dylan? Wait! What is that?!" Before I could react Nick had grabbed hold of my branded arm and turned it to see the letters. "Oh my God! What happened?" I snatched my arm away from him and shrugged as I continued to write in my book before grabbing my water bottle out of my bag. "The principal happened, it was my punishment for speaking out against Adrian and Arya. I wear it with pride." He just held a complete look of disbelief. "You spoke out against them?" I shrugged, what did he think I'd do. "It's no secret that I despise this stvpid new world and the mutts that control it. You were my friend, I wasn't going to let them just take you without saying something, although that is exactly what you seem to have done. Enjoy the view from your new seat!" "Don't be like that, Dylan, I'm your best friend, I'm sorry about your arm, but..." my eyes rolled inside my head at my friends words. "Anything with the word 'but' in, isn't an apology, it's a rationalization." I took a drink of water from my bottle and kept my eyes facing forward, ignoring his every attempt to try and talk to me. "Dylan?.. Dylan?... Do you know what? Erin is right, if you push us all away you won't have any friends left." He huffed before walking over to the empty seat and sitting down, I could feel him glancing up at me every now and again but I didn't respond. "Good morning class, please settle down." He looked at me then at Nick and frowned, we've never sat apart, we were friends before the new world even began. I just shook my head telling him to forget it. "So... as you know the king will be arriving in a short while, but until then lessons will go on as normal." Its funny seeing teachers in the same uniform your wearing, mr Foley and his wife are the coolest. Human teachers and doctors only have slightly more respect than we do. Because of Mr Foley's status him and his wife have better access to food and drink, Mrs Foley is cool, sometimes she even makes sure mr Foley brings some in for me. Ya know, coz I'm their favorite student. It's not in a weird way, it's just they were friends of the family before the new wold took effect. Mr Foley and my dad were buddies from high school, so it goes without sayin really. "All the mated humans will be at the front of each years line again, after that you will all be placed in status, Nick, as your mated to Alpha Arya, you'll be at the front of your line. Dylan as you have been branded..." his voice trailed off as he looked at me. "Yeah yeah, I'll be at the back of the line behind everyone. I get it." I huffed, moving my sight towards the window once more. "I am sorry." I turned to face Mr Foley again, he looked genuinely upset and that look of pity wasn't something I wanted to see. I gave him a clipped nod then turned away again. "Anyway, on to the subject matter, 'Of Mice and Men, page 64, Nick why don't you start us off with the reading."

"Of course sir." Nick began reading the book but I switched off, today is going to be a long day. After almost an hour and a half of reading comprehension, the bell chimed signaling lunch. I shot up and out of the classroom before anyone could say anything. Today, I was avoiding drama like the plague.

I wandered the corridors straight to the lunch hall. All the people I would normally hang out with we're all mated so I grabbed my lunch quickly, and sat down at the end of the human table. Let me lay the lunch hall out for you. On one side of the room you have two long rows of tables, with simple benches that make it look like prison, on the other side of the room you have multiple round tables with fancy chairs. Yup you get it. The humans sit at the prison tables and the wolves and traitors sit on the fancy tables, they get fancy food, fancy drink and most importantly they get pudding. what I would give to have some pudding. "Dylan can we just talk?" Nick quickly took the spot next to me as he set his lunch tray down. I looked at his food which had been placed on a ceramic, circular white plate. God that looked good. I sighed knowing he was going to talk anyway. "Fine, you have two minutes." I used my fork to take a bit of pasta off his plate and shoved it into my mouth. God that was good. "After I left school, I was taken to the pack house with Arya, and I really got to know her. It took a few days for me to finally accept being with her, but ever since life has been ok, and the sax... well that's a whole other story." Eww, I didn't need that mental image in my head. "I'm glad your happy." I stated before deciding I had no appetite. His face held shock before he sighed in relief. "That means a lot Dylan, I mean you know that your opinion matters to me." I cut him off before he could say anything else. "I said I was glad your happy. I didn't say I approved of what you've done. You've basically turned into one of THEM, I can't ever forgive you for that." He looked hurt, but I couldn't care less about his feelings. He placed his hand gently on my arm and went to open his mouth when a growl sounded out. All heads whipped to where it came from, Arya was stood holding a glass of soda and a plate, she was looking right at me and Nick and I would totally be dead if looks could kil. Nick quickly retracted his hand, his whole face fell and you could see sorrow flood his irises. "You sit with me now, get away from that, that... scum!" Wow, Nick was such a lucky guy. NOT. "You heard her. Get away from me, go sit with your new friends. I'm happy for you, and I understand where your coming from, but don't come up to me again and pretend you didn't betray your own kind. Don't pretend you didn't betray me." I shoved a little bit of food into my mouth before standing up and walking out of the cafeteria, leaving my tray on the table. I was walking through the hallway to the classroom, you see I decided to spend lunch with Mr Foley in his room, when I happened to hear voices in the corridor. "Is it wise for her to actually be present when the king arrives? Surely she could be placed in the dungeons, it might actually teach her some respect?" My principal was speaking to the alpha of our district, huh, if I stayed and listened do you think they'd notice, maybe they could smell me?! "Everyone is to be present, if the Riley girl does one thing out of line she will be dealt with severely, child or not. That girl has been a blight to the district since day one, she's dangerous, if she puts one hair out of place I will personally break her into submission." Oh shet, they were talking about me specifically, and they mentioned the dungeon, that's not been used in months. Normally I would have listened in more but something about the entire situation didn't sit right with me, all of a sudden, I was on edge, and simply wasn't interested in the slightest in hearing how my misery was to be enhanced. I backed up slightly before turning around and bumping head first into one of the hottest man I had ever seen. I lost my balance immediately and fell straight on to the floor letting out a small grumble in the process. His eyebrows knitted together quickly and his breath hitched in his throat as he looked upon my fallen state and gasped. "Mate!" He whispered, his eyes fixated on mine. Now, I had seen and heard that many times to know what that means, I gasped before taking a step back. 'No, no, no, no, no. This can not be happening.' He growled slightly before stepping towards me. Oh Shet!