I am in a terrible situation. I am on a corner lot and was the first to move in to our development. Fuckwad was the last. The back of my house faces the side of his. I can see everything he does, he cannot see my house.
Since he and his fruitcake wife moved in, they have been a constant pain in the ass.
My city rules are pretty strict. It started out with garbage cans. They cannot be visible from the street or others homes. I told him the rules, and was told to mind my own business. He has a drag race car and would randomly rev it at 10pm with little kids sleeping. Decided to use a pull trailer as storage. After driving it on my yard, I told him it violated 3 city codes-I was told to fuck off. He, of course, had to put up a shed, blocking my view of a duck pond that kids use to skate in the winter. It is also within 25 feet of my firepit. (illegal) He told me to move the pit. I said I did not have to. The city said, since he was negligent and out of code, If I burned his shed down, I would not be liable. (working on it)
He has used my yard to wash an RV trailer (not legal and trespassing) rent out said trailer (trespassing) parking it on my curb for days at a time (against code) spread shit from said trailer all over the neighborhood...called police-he had to rent a street cleaner. Hopefully fined.
Pushed his snow from his driveway with a four wheeler into the street (illegal) then onto mine and others yards (way illegal) When I told them it was illegal-fruitcake started yelling at me and said "What else are we supposed to do with it?" I told her to shove it up her ass. Then "this is not your HOA" No. we do not have an HOA, just strict city codes. I have called the cops on them many time. But I not a fan of being verbally abused for following the law and expecting people to say off my property.
I had to plant a row of trees just beyond the property line to prevent him from driving on my yard. He has now started clipping branches over his property so his fat ass can mow. I was going to do this over the summer, but will now only do my side. He has a right to do it, but is lawfully supposed to ask permission first. And he basically ripped instead of cut.
The kicker here-my wife keeps telling me to hold my tongue. I have tried, but if I fold, they will keep taking. He has no concern for anyone but him. He sucks as a neighbor. Everything he does, I can see. I cannot do anything to defend myself. I have thought about a cease and desist letter.
I am sure he says the same thing about me, but the law is on my side. I

I have a bunch of different games since I primarily play easy or cozy genre games and all the ones in my list I already own or am not interested in. Shoot me an offer, the worst I can say is no. I'm about to go to bed in a bit but will respond when I wake up. 😊
-Steam keys left over from Humble-
🌈-Stories of Pride Bundle-🌈
Heaven Will Be Mine
Monster Camp 2 - Camp Forever Bundle
No Longer Home
The World Nextdoor (might keep)
Wylde Flowers
🐥 -Down on the Farm Bundle- 🐥
Everdreem Valley
No Place Like Home
The Witch of Fern Island
🌼 -April 2024- 🌼
Coromon
Fashion Police Squad
The Excavation of Hobbs Barlowe
Victoria 3
🍁 -Choice November 2023?- 🍁
Souldiers
The legend of Tianding
😅-Recent adds from Fanatical-😅
10 Second Ninja X
Big Bang West
Biped
Broken Lines
Cluster Truck
Deep Sky Derelicts
Garbage
ManEater
Mech Mechanic Simulator
Samudra
Songbird Symphony
The Smufs - Mission Vileaf
Trifox
Warman (Use by 06-30-2024)
What Lies in The Multiverse
🥂-Steam Keys from Fanatical-🥂
Achtung! Cthulhu Tactics
Agatha Christie-The ABC Murders
A Juggler's Tale
Alt-Frequencies
Animal Rescuer
Arcade spirits
Banners of Ruin
Beyond the Long Night (x2)
Blade Assault
Block 'Em!
Bot Vice
Breathedge
Cave Blazers
Call of Juarez
Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood
Crown Champion: Legends of the Arena
Crumble
Danger Scavenger
Dog Sled Saga
Double
Everhood
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Garden Story
Going Under
Graveyard Keeper
I Am Fish
Iconoclasts
Impulsion (x2)
In Between
Just Ignore Them
Landlord's Super
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Lost Grimoires: Stolen Kingdom
Lost Grimoires 3: The Forgotten Well
Lost Words: Beyond the Page
Lumberhill
Midnight Protocol
Monstrum (x2)
Nihilumbra
Nine Witches: Family Disruption
Orbital Bullet: 360° Rogue-lite
OUTBUDDIES DX
Out of the Box
Paper Beast- Folded Edition
Paw Paw Paw (x2)
Porcunipine
Search Party: Director's Cut
Sentience: The Android's Tale
Silver Chains
Slime-san
Smile For Me
Spookware
Stick it to The Man (x2)
Stronghold Crusader 2
Stronghold Legends: Steam Edition
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones (×2)
Super Panda Adventures
Super Star Path
Survivalist
Terrain of Magical Expertise
Teslagrad Remastered
The Darkside Detective
The Deed
The Horror Of Salazar House
The Secret Order 5: The Buried Kingdom
The Spectrum Retreat (×2)
The Town of Light
The Wild Eight
Tiny Rogues
Ultimate Zombie Defense
Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
Unloved (×2)
Windward
Wolfenstein 3D (×2)
Xp and Rally
Zombie Army Trilogy

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following two brain scans were provided by the Neuro-Warfare branch of the Halcyon Security Division (HSD) for the purpose of analyzing the thoughts, behaviors, and information of notorious gangsters Vincent 'Troy' Cohen and Bruno (Deadname: Koraak Tel-Char). At the point of the recording of this archival shared, Bruno has since received his rebirth therapy, and Vincent is currently serving a long-term rehabilitative and reeducative sentence in the Erebus Supermax Prison on Io.
Warning: the contents of this archival shared may be especially disturbing to some audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
Warning: the contents of this archival shard are for the sole purpose of analyzing the thought patterns and memories of certain degenerate criminals in an effort to ascertain vital information that can be used to eliminate their organizations. Only staff with clearance level Omega may view this archival shared, and the viewership of this archival shared by anyone of inadequate clearance level will lead to twenty years in prison and a fine of over a hundred thousand credits.
Booting up memory scan: Vincent 'Troy' Cohen, November 4th, 2446…
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning archival shard presentation…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Do you have visuals of the target, Troy?"
I knelt down in the alleyway, the bodies of me and my partners shrouded in long, waterproof, ashen-gray overcoats the shade of dirty street scum that we wore to ward off the constant heavy rainfall the color of osmium. Our faces were covered in a mix of scrapped respirators, visors, or full metal face masks carved with intricate designs to hide our identities. On our waists were our badges of honor: leather belts studded with interlocked rivets made from blackened titanium, each buckle forged of silver and shaped into the head of our gang's symbol, the black mamba. We hid amongst the shadows of the dark midday of Halcyon City, the heavy, oppressive rains blanketing the roads paved obsidian-black with asphalt and weathered concrete walkways. The street lamps were always on, like beacons of false hope in a storm of melancholy.
The city was dark and dreary as always, the planet of Proxima Centauri B, renamed Dawn's Lamentation over a century ago, orbited the red dwarf star of Proxima Centauri, and the atmosphere was thick with natural smog and ever-storming rain clouds. That didn't dissuade people from living here: there was plenty of money to be had for shrewd industrialists and hardworking pioneers, even in the urban sprawl. But that life also came with risks, especially for those on the bottom of the totem pole.
I was a ganger, and we were criminals; full stop. I won't assault you with some spiel about how we're the good guys fighting oppression because, at the end of the day, we could be just as bad, if not worse, than Halcyon's Security Division, or the HSD for short. We were traffickers, killers, extortionists, and money launderers. We dealt with everything from stolen tech and military-grade hardware to hard drugs and sentients.
Yes, sentients. We trafficked sentients, but not in the way you might think. They weren't prisoners, in fact, we were their saviors if they had the cash. We had developed a reputation for fighting the power, but it was still business: sure, freeing captives from the clutches of the Protectorate. The disruption of its many oppressive organizations held a certain satisfaction in my heart for sure, but we didn't help those who couldn't pay unless someone else paid on their behalf. It was about making sure me and my gang, my family, could live a decent life for another day.
It helped that most of us joined after leaving the state yard for partaking in acts of 'degeneracy' and 'anti-xenopet illegalities' as if those terms meant anything anymore other than that we were a threat to the local status quo. It was hard to pick up a job as a former inmate when even in something as harsh and backbreaking as a job in the iridium mines near the poles when the employment office had you blacklisted as a degenerate, which lead to the formation of many of the gangs: we needed to make a living somehow, and when all social programs were cut off from you unless you submitted for 're-education' and the only way to put food on the table was subverting, breaking, or even downright fighting the law, you did what you had to do or you died on the streets a scorned beggar.
It wasn't like the HSD made it easy for us on even a good day: the local HSD units were armed to the teeth with advanced, military-grade hardware that you'd often see on the front lines of the Second Authority War: armored assault transports, a myriad of advanced war droids, all sorts of chemical countermeasures that made tear gas seem like putting the garden hose on mist mode, and of course advanced firearms. Add that to the fact that they were authorized to use deadly force when they deemed it necessary and you had a ruthless, heartless, and nearly unstoppable enemy. But we could make that work: we weren't trying to stop them, just to withstand them.
"Yeah, I got eyes on the prize, Koraak; seven armored transports, two for droids, five for prisoners."
Today wasn't a day for a normal job: we were getting bolder, cockier, more ambitious. Our numbers had swelled for the last few years after the raid at Barnard's Star and the fall of the Blood Dragon Mafia. Their leader, Saito Yasuhide, had committed seppuku as their manor burned, and his twin sons had gone down fighting rather than allowing themselves to be captured simply to face a firing squad. In the aftermath, many of the family's associates had fled to the surrounding systems, and with the sheer size and scope of the criminal underworld found here, it was no wonder that many people who had developed skills of the less legal variety had decided to form ranks with the gangs, and with them they brought guns, tech, knowledge, contacts, and even something that we thought wasn't possible beforehand: a semblance of peace between the gangs, or at least the closest thing to peace that gangs could cultivate effectively. With the fall of the Blood Dragons, we saw the writing on the wall, and the writing couldn't have been clearer: work together or die together.
"Sounds like a massacre, Troy: are you sure we can handle seven?"
"We ain't got no choice, Cinder: this job's double the usual rate, and that's not including the weapons and gear we could scrounge if this goes well," I hissed, my eyes scanning for any resistance. There were at least four guards for each van, not to mention at least eight droids in total, meaning that we were already outnumbered, but we had the element of surprise: we could make it work. "So put your balls in your purse and get ready to spill some blood."
Koraak snorted at our antics, which sounded like someone pulling the ripcord on a lawnmower. He was a veteran Russu Corsair, and while his past of slaving, raiding, and killing was unsavory, so were the lives we'd lived, so who were we to judge? All we cared about was that he was a brutal and capable fighter and a loyal brother in arms. It turned out that being a ganger wasn't much different from being a Corsair: you lived and died by a code of honor, you fought to the death for your brothers, and you lived to die for the sake of your gang and your family, simple as that. In a strange, ironic way, it was an incredibly honest way of life: we were under no illusions as to what we were, what we did, and why we did it, and we'd long since accepted it. The Russu related to us in that aspect, in many ways I could respect, which is why I hated what the Protectorate was doing, and why I couldn't grasp how most of humanity could just collectively lose their marbles so long ago. What had happened for us to deem all other life below us in such a demeaning and infantilizing way?
The Russu were a race of tall, muscle-bound Saurians with avian features, and Koraak was no exception: reaching almost seven feet in height and weighing over four hundred and fifty pounds, he could be an absolute menace if he so desired. His skin was covered in stubby, knobby scales and dense plumage, with elegant feathers adorning the ridges along his back as well as his forearms, elbows, knees, and the crests on his head. He almost looked like how paleontologists described velociraptors, with razor-sharp talons, feathers shaded in vibrant greens, reds, and purples, and a maw full of sharp teeth, but at the tip of his snout was a sharp, beak-like growth meant for ripping flesh off the bone.
The Russu were strange as hell, but they also looked almost cute in the same way a fully grown alligator was cute: they were obviously dangerous, but humans would always have this innate desire to anthropomorphize them and to pet them for some inexplicable reason, although common sense usually prevented that, at least amongst the very few of us left that were sane.
"Shut up, Troy! All I'm saying is that that'll be rough, and you know it," hissed Cinder. Cinder was a tall black man whose coffee-colored skin was covered in tattoos. He wore an ebony mechanic's jumpsuit with metal inserts underneath his grimy overcoat covering his body and a faded black respirator on his face. His eyes were a startling blue that seemed sorely out of place, and his hair was braided into thick cornrows along his scalp. He wore a pair of heavy black combat boots and palmed his compact shotgun in his hands, the square barrel less than seven inches. Like a lot of the weapons the Black Mambas carried on their persons and dealt in, they fired caseless ammunition; in Cinder's case it was 16x40mm caseless shotshells filled with depleted uranium micro-flechetes no thicker than a toothpick. Cinder nervously fiddled with the detachable tube magazine underneath the barrel, his hands shaking. Despite the shit I have him, I didn't blame him for being anxious: I was anxious too, even if I refused to show it. The biting cold of unease and pessimism was in my stomach, and I ran all the way that this job could go wrong in my head over and over.
"Just hold yourself together, this ain't anything we haven't done before, there's just more of it," I reassured Cinder, "besides, we're not alone; we have reinforcements across the street. We'll make it out of this alive."
Cinder nodded almost absentmindedly, his eyes downcast and his breathing shallow. I turned from him and back to Koraak, who was making sure he had everything on his person; he had a synthetic leather bandoleer across his chest that contained the heavy eight guage depleted uranium slugs he kept loading and unloading into his much larger, longer, and more traditional shotgun he nicknamed ‘carnage’ and several leather straps that held his Tu'shan daggers: traditional Russu pyramidal blades forged from a silvery alloy with all three edges serrated and the tip barbed to leave behind horrible, gaping wounds that gushed blood. They were wickedly sharp and absolutely straight like a stiletto, and the hilts and pommels were beautifully decorated. He wore no clothes underneath his overcoat to cover the countless scars and blemishes he's earned in combat across his chest and abdomen, and instead of a normal respirator or visor, he simply wore a hood over his head and some traditional Russu facial armor to protect his mouth, eyes, and cheeks.
"You ready to fight, Koraak? The caravan will pick up and leave soon."
Koraak was silent for a moment before nodding, a human gesture he had picked up after serving as a soldier with the Black Mambas for years. "I'm always ready to fight," he said before lifting up his shotgun and aiming down the sights at the reinforced front wheels of the first armored car in the caravan. He exhaled and fired, the slug ripping through both front tires and causing them to deflate and fall apart. The echo of the shot rang through the alleyway and the street, causing pedestrians to panic and flee the scene as heavily armored guards poured out of the side doors of the armored cars and unholstered their carbines.
"Go, now!" I shouted, and both me and Cinder rushed out into the fray, our guns raised. Koraak was right behind the two of us, providing covering fire with his shotgun. Several guards fell quickly, Koraak's precise fire and the sheer force of the depleted uranium slugs putting them down for good as their heads were vaporized or their chest cavities were turned to mush. He emptied the tube with one final shot that painted the grey matter of a security guard on the door of one of the armored cars, then racked the shotgun and expertly loaded it in threes, his hands deft and agile as he reached for more slugs faster than any human.
With the cacophony of our initial assault, more Black Mambas poured out from the alleyways and the subways, armed to the teeth with all manner of weapons; shotguns, submachine guns, pistols, machetes, baseball bats, and all manner of homemade explosives. Molotovs and more potent concoctions shattered against the asphalt, herding in the caravan guards with their volatile contents as they were quickly gunned down. The assault was working, and we were winning.
Then I heard the robotic whine of a combat droid activating, and my heart sank. One of the armored cars in the back activated the four combat droids it held, the robotic assault units detaching from their charging ports on the sides of the large van and began to form up, each armed with a terrifying array of deadly weapons meant to quash any and all resistance. They were blocky, soulless, utilitarian things that stood at eight feet tall, with flat feet meant for stomping and blades, grasping claws designed to lacerate flesh and shatter bone. On each shoulder was a weapon: on the left was a multi-barrel rotary grenade launcher loaded with 15mm concussion grenades, and on the right was a burst-fire splinter cannon. They were all painted a dull grayish-green, the color of Halcyon's Security Division, although some had a few decorations on them: the one closest to me had a bit of graffiti on the side that said Mr. Hugs in Comic Sans, which I couldn't decide whether that made it more or less terrifying. They split up without hesitation and began to scan the chaotic battlefield, their single, red, beady lenses the security forces had the gall to call eyes focusing on specific targets to eliminate.
An entire group of Black Mambas was torn to pieces by a cloud of flechettes as one of the droids fired a withering three-round burst of shotshells from the four gauge splinter cannon mounted on its shoulder. Another picked up a Black Mamba in its hand and crushed her skull effortlessly before tossing her limp body to the side, its single, red, remorseless robotic eye tracking a new target. Most bullets that struck their thick armored chassis simply bounced off, and those that could pierce the armor didn't seem to phase the droids whatsoever, merely notifying them of a new potential target.
"Damnit," I shouted as I gunned down another guard only for two more to take his place. "Cinder! We gotta pop open the cars and scram! Get the maglock cutters!"
Cinder rushed and slid over through a dirty puddle, pulling out a maglock cutter from the inside of his coat and slipping it onto the back door of the first van. It immediately went to work, drilling through the maglock with a high-powered plasma torch nozzle, and within ten seconds we heard the telltale clunk of the maglock separating. I yanked the door open and ordered I side, ready to escort the prisoners out… only for my face to contort in shock and horror.
The back was empty. There was not a single soul inside of the back brig of the armored car.
"What the fuck…" Cinder gasped, his eyes wide with shock. "What the actual fuck… what the fuck is this, Troy?"
"I… I don't…" I stuttered the sounds of battle and carnage drowned out by the sound of blood rushing in my ears. All five cars were supposed to be filled with recently captured Russu from the front lines ready to be housed in the local Xenopet-Megaplex for processing and conditioning. The fact that this one was empty…
Suddenly, it all hit me at once with the force of a freight train, but it was too late. "We were set up, Cinder; our fucking client either squealed or was crooked to begin with…"
"Fucking bitch!" Cinder shouted as he spun around in an enraged arch, anger growing in his eyes. He aimed his shotgun at an approaching security guard and reduced his upper body to a fine red mist with a cacophony of shotgun blasts. "We gotta get everyone who's left out of here! Do you know what this means? The Jurors will be here soon, and then we're all going down! We gotta go, fuck the job!"
I grit my teeth. Not the Jurors, anything but the Jurors.
"Fine, gather everyone who's left and we'll slip through the sewers, the droids are too bulky to follow us there…"
As I spoke, my eyes wandered to the seventh and final armored car, the second of the droid cars, and my blood froze. Not only were all four ports empty, but they were also smaller and more shallow than the ports for the combat droids. That could only mean one thing.
"Oh fuck! Cinder, we gotta get our Russu members out of here! They've got arachnid droids!"
Arachnid droids were the stuff of nightmares. Resembling blocky, robotic arachnids the size of a manhole cover, they were specifically designed to take down sentient aliens, specifically the Russu, using sickeningly non-lethal means. They were equipped with full-body adaptive cloaking to blend in with their environments, paralytic agents that they could inject into their victims, built-in taser barbs, psychedelic gas ports for crowd-control, and a narrow-coned cacophony canon that disabled the Russu using incredibly high-pitched sounds that only they could hear, forcing them onto their knees and clutching the backs of their heads where their auditory organs were stored in agony. But worst of all was their stygian spinnerets: special ports near the end of their robotic abdomens that excreted a viscous, latex-like substance made up of millions of nano-bots. This substance could be used to render Russu blind, deaf, and mute by having it forced onto their faces, the black substance growing and enveloping their heads and working its way into every orifice. It was completely permeable to the standard atmosphere, but any Russu who had been 'webbed' was completely helpless and essentially captured, and the 'webbing' was both nearly indestructible and nigh impossible to remove without a triple-encrypted override key that was found in every arachnid droid's code, which was corrupted when the droid was destroyed or hacked into. Once you were 'webbed', you were essentially captured and the standard protocol was to leave you to the wolves since the nano-bots could be tracked, endangering the entire gang.
I turned just as I heard the deafening sound of Koraak discharging his shotgun, and I saw him squaring off against one of the assault droids. The droid has obviously been programmed to not use lethal force against Russu if possible, as instead of simply killing Koraak with it's shoulder-mounted splinter cannon, it approached with its claws extended, blades retracted. Koraak continued to back away and fire, pumping the droid full of depleted uranium slugs, its armor crumbling inward as the slugs pierced its chassis and damaged its internal cyberstructure. Eventually, Koraak ran out of slugs and instinctively reached to his bandoleer only to find that he had no more shells left at all, and he drew one of his knives and his sidearm, a simple high-caliber handgun. He tried to take down the droid with his handgun, but the bullets didn't even seem to affect the droid upon penetration, it's claws still extended as it attempted to apprehend Koraak.
In the corner of my vision, as I watched Koraak battle with the droid, I noticed a faint shimmer in the air on one of the black streetlight poles that was right behind him. I focused on it and blinked, believing my eyes had deceived me for a moment before realizing that it was actually a cloaked arachnid droid stalking Korvaak, ready to pounce and incapacitate him.
Before I could shout, it leaped from the pole and landed on Korvaak, causing him to shout in surprise while it began to coagulate its horrifying stygian webbing to disable Korvaak. Korvaak tried to wrestle it off of him, but the droid was agile and fast, clinging onto Korvaak and skittering around across his upper body as he attempted to grab it, forcibly wrapping the sticky black liquid across his face as he gagged like a spider wrapping up a fly. I rushed towards him to try and help, but I felt pain explode in my ribs as I was struck with the arm of the closest combat droid and launched into the chassis of a parked car, the metal denting from the sheer force of impact. I groaned in pain as I saw stars and my head spun, and just then I felt a blinding light be cast over me.
“Drop your weapons and kneel with your hands on your head, or you will be pacified with deadly force!” Shouted a loud, artificially deepened voice from above. “I repeat, drop your weapons and kneel with your hands on your head! Neither hostility nor hesitation will be tolerated!”
It was the Jurors, I could feel the air being pushed around from the thrusters on their drop ships, and I could hear screams and shouts as my fellow Black Mambas were quickly gunned down. I couldn’t see well since I was seeing double, but I could hear the slaughter as my eyes dimmed and I began to lose consciousness, my regrets crawling up my throat like vomit.
I’m sorry was all I could think as everything finally went dark, and the sounds of chaos, destruction, and combat faded away.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Memory halted due to loss of consciousness. Booting next available memory in shard…
Booting up memory scan: Koraak Tel-Char Bruno, November 5th, 2446…
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning archival shard presentation…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Good morning, sleepyhead; it’s time for breakfast.”
My eyes shot open. I was not in the street anymore, nor was I home in my bed with my mate. I knew instantly that something was horribly wrong. I tried to stand up, but I couldn’t gain the leverage to do so: my ankles had been shackled together with magnetic cuffs and my arms were forced together in front of me.
I was wearing some kind of thick shirt. It was warm, fluffy, and comfortable on the inside, but it still made me incredibly uncomfortable that my arms didn’t have a free range of motion. I looked down to see that I was wearing some human garment I had heard about before, a straightjacket maybe?
The entire room was padded: the walls, the floor, even the ceiling. There was no bed or furniture; the floor was soft enough to serve as a bed in itself. There was nothing else except for the soft reddish-orange lights on the ceiling that somehow made me sleepy. I blinked slowly for a moment, my body screaming at me to just lay back down and lose consciousness, but I couldn’t do that: I needed to figure out where I was and how to escape.
Then I noticed who was speaking to me: it was a short human female, with crow's feet around her blue eyes, blonde hair braided down her back, and freckles all over her face. She had a soft smile on her lips, and her forehead was slightly crinkled. She wore a full-body white lab suit with a white overcoat and a pair of glasses for snugly on her face.
"There we go, now I can see those pretty eyes, such a beautiful shade of teal," she cooed softly, "You're such a handsome boy, even with all those scars: I'm sure you'll be adopted very quickly once we get you fixed up."
Fear gripped my heart as I began to piece all the evidence together. I had been captured; I was no longer on Halcyon, and instead, I was in one of the horrific space-born facilities I had heard so much about from the inside agents. I started to hyperventilate and squawk like a newborn hatchling, my eyes dilating in panic. This couldn't be happening! This has to be a nightmare!
The human woman merely wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into an embrace, cradling my head under her chin and speaking softly. I couldn't bite at her or claw at her: I was muzzled and wearing a straight jacket, so I had no choice but to allow her to coddle me.
"It's okay, sweetheart: I understand you're scared, but Julie's here to make all the pain and bad thoughts go away," she said as if she was comforting a child, which made anger blossom in my chest indignantly. "I'll be your caretaker for the next few months, and I'm going to make sure you're healthy, happy, and most importantly safe while you're under our care. I'm sorry to say that includes your restraints and restrictive clothing, but we have to make sure you aren't a threat to yourself or others before we can determine if it's a good idea to remove you from suicide watch."
I growled under my muzzle. Suicide watch? They must have had a lot of instances of Russu taking their own lives after being captured, something I wished I had been able to do before that damnable droid launched itself onto me and…
I shuddered at the thought of the black, viscous substance forcing itself into my nostrils and down my throat and windpipe, gagging me and rendering me completely helpless. It was so cold, so harsh, like slime, and when I had tried to tear it off of my face it merely attached itself to my claws and bound my talons together. I remember squirming on the ground as it enveloped me, unable to see, hear, or speak, and then everything went dark in an instant. It was the most horrible thing I had ever experienced, which was saying something.
"You alright, sweetheart? Oh, I know, you're probably hungry! Here, try some of this." She held up a piece of what looked like raw bacon and wiggled it in front of me before reaching out to remove my muzzle. In an instant, I attempted to snap at her only for pain to blossom in my forehead and my eyes to roll up in my head as I convulsed. It was like something was attempting to drill through my skull from the inside, and every breath felt empty and labored.
"Now, that didn't feel very nice, did it? This is why we have countermeasures in place because we can't trust you yet, sweetheart! Don't worry, we'll work on breaking you of all those bad behaviors and habits while you're here; after all, a well-trained pet is a happy pet!" She began to stroke the crests on my head as I slowly recovered, and she snugly fit the muzzle back onto my snout. "But I won't hold it against you this time, sweetheart; you're just scared and confused, but I'll make all the pain go away."
I struggled in the straight jacket, trying my best to break out of it, but it was no use. Eventually, I became exhausted and despondent, allowing my new caretaker to have her way with me as she gently ran her fingers through my feathers and along my ridges, quietly speaking to me in a hopeless attempt to cheer me up. She seemed genuinely concerned for my well-being, which concerned me even further: who could be this naturally twisted while attempting to be as benevolent and kindhearted as possible?
I felt the pain and terror build up in my chest, the anxiety from what horrific activities I imagined they had planned for me here. I couldn't take the infantilization, the lack of any autonomy, the dehumanization, and what I feared the most was if the rumors of 'rebirth' were true: would they take my personhood from me?
Suddenly, I felt her whisper to me. "Don't worry sweetheart, I know you're so scared and confused, but I promise you everything will be okay: it's going to be your birthday soon, and then everything will get better." She ran her fingers through the feathers along my crest lovingly. "It will be such a wonderful day, and then we'll choose for you the most wonderful family, and you'll spend the rest of your life happy in your forever home! Doesn't all of that sound wonderful?"
I wanted to die. I wanted to disappear. I didn't want to lose myself, not like this, not to these monsters!
"It'll be your birthday soon," she said wistfully as if she was remembering similar events to this in the past like I wasn't the first she'd done this too, "and you'll never be sad again."
I realized that I wasn't the first the stay in this particular cell, and I knew for certain that I wouldn't be the last: I'd end up like my brother, a broken, erased mess of a pathetic creature, reduced to nothing more than a pet for these humans to amuse themselves with.
"We took the liberty of picking out a nice name for you, sweetheart! Now, let me just slip this little programming chip into the port slot on your occipital bone, and... there we go! It will also help you calm down a bit and adjust."
I felt the chip begin to invade my mind, suppressing my thoughts. What made me me was slowly being ripped out of my mind. I couldn't remember my name my name is Bruno, and I needed to get out! I can't let them do this to me! Somebody help me! I was a good boy.
##Do not think. You are a good boy.##
I tried to scream, but my voice wouldn't work: I had trouble forming any words at all, the confusion clouding my mind like wet, slimy eels curling around my brain and sinking their teeth into its folds like needles. I couldn’t scream any longer, because I had nothing left: the chip was slowly beginning to take everything from me, robbing me of my identity and branding a new one into my psyche with a white-hot iron. Julie simply held me close, attempting to reassure me as I awaited the inevitable demise of my personhood. Soon I would be just like my brother: erased. My mind would be shaped into the mind of a loyal plaything, like a Dog.
##Relax. Allow caretaker [Julie] to comfort you. You will let go of your burden.##
Soon, everything was a blur. I quickly found myself resting my head in her lap as she whispered to me and fed me, my eyes bleary and my head fuzzy. I couldn't remember my name anymore My name was Bruno, and I needed to break free from this trance relax, and allow her to help me; good boys didn't resist help.
##Good Boy. Do not think. You are a good boy.##
You can't... I...
##Good boy.##
I wouldn't… good boys don't… I…
##Good boy##
I was a good boy… I was a good boy…
I was… I was… a good… boy…
Someone help me, please! I don't want to be erased!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following script is from episode #343 of Halcyon After Dark, a popular late-night and current events talk show hosted by Melinda Carter. This specific episode was sponsored in part by the Halcyon Security Division, with Director Lochlin O'Brien joining as a guest star to talk about the changing crime statistics in Halcyon City and the HSD's recent successes in busting organized crime as well as their plans for addressing the growing criminal underworld.
MC: Good evening Halcyon! I'm your host, Melinda Carter, and you're watching Halcyon's most popular late-night talk show, Halcyon After Dark!
The crowd claps and cheers as Melinda walks on stage and sits behind her desk, her glittering red dress waving as she does so from the special effects.
MC: Tonight we have a very special guest here to tell us about the state of crime in the city and his plans on resolving it: please put your hands together for the HSD's very own Director, Lochlin O'Brien!
The crowd cheers some more as HSD Director Lochlan O'Brien, a tall, muscular, caucasian male in his early forties with red hair and a well-trimmed beard steps into the room, waving at the crowd with a bright smile. He sits in the armchair angled next to Melinda's desk and gives her his full attention.
MC: It's so good to have you on the show, Director! Tell me, how are you doing on this fine evening?
LO: I'm doing excellent, Melinda: every day I wake up feeling fulfilled knowing I'm serving Halcyon to the best of my abilities and then some."
MC: That's the spirit, Director! Now, I know this question is just on everyone's lips, so I have to ask: how successful was the recent gang bust? I heard HSD forces took out dozens of gang members and liberated at least a dozen Russu Hounds from their abusive clutches, but I know that everyone in the audience and at home wants to know the numbers.
LO: I'd be glad to tell you, but I do have to preface this by saying that we still lost a lot of good officers that day, and while we did strike a crippling blow to one of Halcyon's biggest gangs, it doesn't change the fact that each death is a tragedy, and we're taking steps to prevent them in the future. That being said, those valiant officers did not sacrifice themselves in vain: we had over a dozen confirmed kills and several arrests, including the rescue of several corrupted Russu hounds.
MC: That's excellent, Director: proof that even when the number of degenerates and scum grow by the day, the HSD will always be here to keep the citizens of Halcyon safe.
LO: Absolutely, Melinda, and we're always working tirelessly to increase the efficiency and effectiveness of our units, as well as racing to stay several steps ahead of the many gangs of Halcyon at all times. My newest goal as Director is to vastly increase the funding given to our Robotics Department and our Neuro-Warfare Department to potentially reduce the number of casualties we may experience in the future, as well as to quickly and effectively detain, and if necessary, eliminate criminals. Within the next decade, I want to double the number of automated units each Security Platoon is assigned: droids are the future of public safety as well as countless other industries, and it would be foolish to be left behind.
MC: That is quite a lofty goal, Director: what about the displaced jobs from the increased automation? What will the union say?
LO: And to that, I say: what misplaced jobs? We aren't replacing our honored and beloved service members with droids, Melinda, we are simply supplementing our units with more droids to ensure that future gang assaults end with fewer HSD casualties and more gang members in prison or eliminated, simple as that.
MC: That makes much more sense, Director, thanks for clarifying. Now, I have one more question that I'm sure much of Halcyon wants to know the answer to before we take a short break: what plans do you and your fellow directors have to make long-term progress in reducing crime beyond just increasing funding? Have you proposed any plans to strike at the source of where crime and degeneracy flourish?
OL: That's an excellent question, and one I am proud to answer: my constituents and I have been working tirelessly on a two-step plan to greatly reduce crime levels in Halcyon. Step one would be to prevent people from becoming criminals and degenerates at all in the first place: a lot of young men and women, but especially young men, have lost either one or both parents or even a sibling, aunt or uncle, or even a close friend by the brutality of the Second Authority War, and while the service of their lost loved ones will always be recognized and honored, many of these young men and women are left bitter, angry and lost without the guidance these people give them in their lives. Oftentimes they seek to fill that void with others who claim to relate to them: career criminals. These criminals will fill their heads with lies and false narratives to make them feel like they're fighting back against the 'evil protectorate government' that took their loved ones from them by sending them off to war when in reality it was the rogue Xenopets of the Triarchy that took them away by resisting their just and inevitable unburdening.
In response, I have proposed a slew of special programs that will make sure local law enforcement and HSD officers are present and contributing to their local community, and we'll be providing easy and light job openings for youngsters and teens looking to make a career for themselves in the force when they grow up. We want to let these lost souls know that there are people who care about them, people who understand them and that you shouldn't turn to degeneracy to feel fulfilled. We want to help the youth of our great society soar to new heights!
MC: That sounds like a wonderful beginning to your plan, Director, but what about the second step?
LO: Well, the second step is to prevent criminals and degenerates from becoming repeat criminals. Sure, they've made their mistakes, some worse than others, but they're only human like the rest of us. Some of them have been through hell: some are traumatized veterans who don't know how to adapt to normal life, others were recruited when they were young and don't know that there's a better way to live, and even more are mentally ill. We're alone in this galaxy, and we can't leave so many people behind. That's why we've come up with an excellent solution: we've set up isolated communities on distant moons and frontier planets where these criminals can be reeducated, rehabilitated, and allowed to repay their debt to society. When they're deemed 'reformed' and have graduated from our program, they'll be granted a hefty stipend and their criminal record will be deemed irrelevant, allowing them to reintegrate and become functioning members of our proud society.
MC: all of these sound like incredible steps forward in the fight to better our society and make real progress, Director. Sadly, we do have to step away for a moment, but you best believe I'll be back, Halcyon, and we'll be asking the Director here some burning questions about allegations over the quality of life Erubus Supermax! Now, a word from our sponsors!
Halcyon Xenopet-Megaplex! Everything your xenopet could ever need in one place! Adoption is now free-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good, you’re still alive! The rest of this shard appears to be corrupted, which means this particular trail seems to have run cold here, but do not despair; you need to keep searching. Find out what happened. Find the truth.I cannot guide you any longer: they've already found me, and if I remain in contact with you they'll find you as well. Take the archival database, and see what you can piece together. Maybe if we discover what truly happened we can put an end to this madness once and for all. I'm counting on you. Don't cry for me, I don't fear death, but I fear what they'll do to me to get to you: there are far worse fates than death, after all.

A couple of days ago I fucked up and I don’t know what to do, and haven’t yet reaped the consequences of my actions yet
Am currently 18 and have been living with my dad most of my life, my mom and dad where both young adults and not ready for a kid when they had me, So they were never together after I was born
My mom owned me at the start till I was 5 and lost custody due too a couple of reasons, but mostly because I was an escape artist kindergartener and I’d leave my schools to wonder, and at the time my mother was homeless living in a women’s shelter with my two younger sisters
My dad eventually gained custody of me and I was held back in school to redo kindergarten,
Through out my life my mom has always tried to get me to move back in with her and my two sisters, I was 6 I believe when she “kidnapped” me from my dad and tried to keep me with her it was during a school year but she re-enrolled me into school so they found me really quick, I think?
But after all that my dad got me back, and him and my mom worked somethings out and finally both agreed to do the whole weekend with moms and school week with dad
And this worked throughout elementary, then I went to middle school my dad got a new girlfriend and we lived with her, and my mom decided to move to a different state with my sisters
I was pretty upset about this because my mom was leaving
Eventually my dad breaks up with his girlfriend and we move, we didn’t move to an usual place though we move to essentially nowhere, are address doesn’t show up on google maps and doesn’t have directions, the closest town is a 30 minute car ride and most my neighbors are 15 minute walk away from one another and we don’t have running water, so I take a shower only once every two weeks,
This was also in Covid times ( 2021 ) so I was on online school, and me and my dad lived with my grandma so it was a interesting living situation
Eventually my mom moved back to are original state to live with her new boyfriend, (2022) my dad told me he thought it was best for me to live with my mom sense she was back, so I did
Now I love both of my parents! And I know it might seem cruel to say this and I do feel really bad about saying this but living with my mom was awful, I learned a lot of things I shouldn’t have and I had to deal with a lot of fuck up bullshit, but I really want to make it clear I love my mom!
Living with my mom and her boyfriend was Not at all fun, the whole house was to over filled
3 kids ( me & siblings) 4 adults ( 2 roommates & my mom and her BF) then 6 animals (3 of my sisters pets and 3 BF pets) the house smelled, and only had 4 bed rooms, ( my Mom and her BF lived in the downstairs living room)
my bed was on the floor and was originally the cats room, there where cat doors so the cats came in and out as they Pleased, and pleased they did cause they piss on my bed, it got bad enough I had to flip my whole mattress over cause nothing I’d did got rid of the pee
I think some of the few worst things that happened was the constant cheating my mom did to her boyfriend, that could have gotten us kicked out sense he owned the home, luckily he didn’t, but it drove me nuts that she could have made us homeless and she always argued that he couldn’t kick us out! He could!
Then the most cruelest thing my mom did was text me at school to tell me that we were putting one of the cats down, no call, no sit down discussion, just a text while I was at school
And I have two half sisters, I have a different dad then them, we thought my sisters A and C both had the same dad, A & C dad died a long time ago, they both were pretty messed up about it but it happened when they were pretty young, but while we were living there C over heard a conversation mother was having, it turns out the man she thought was her dad wasn’t at all and was only A’s father,
Just imagine that, that’s fucked up, that’s awful, I can rest easy knowing my dads my dad, but my sister can’t I just couldn’t believe my mom would do that to her
And I can’t really put in to words what knowing that stuff is like but I hate it and I just didn’t want to live there anymore
And then I moved back in with my dad, and went to in person school
Eventually school ends and my mom is asking me to move with them to Tennessee, (she broke up with her old BF but got a couple of new ones) I convinced her to try to move near were I currently live because I want to finish my last school year in this school, And have my sisters go with me too, and I could still live with my dad, I made this whole suggestion up because I love them and I love my mom too, and I still want to live near them
Sadly she couldn’t find a place near, Am at my dads house when I suddenly get a call from her saying that she found a place “near “ but it wouldn’t be at the same school but she said I could find a job near by and I she would buy me my own RV,
I thought about going to a school with both my sisters and having my own place, having showers whenever I wanted
I was caught off guard and just said yes without thinking about consequences, I didn’t think about my dads feelings, I didn’t think about my moms feelings, I didn’t think about my grandmas feelings and I didn’t think about the awful nasty nasty situations. My mother puts me in!
So I fucked up, this is just me mindlessly typing my feelings out so it probably won’t make sense and I doubt anybody will read it, but if ya do sorry it’s incoherent
TL;DR Live with my mom for a year, not good nasty nasty, she calls me about moving with her again, don’t think and accidentally said yes lol damn it

This is my ficnapping of The Power of Forgiveness by u/Espazilious. If you're here and you haven't read it yet, (why?) do it now! Anyways, here it is.
—
//////////////////////////
Memory Transcription Subject: Dan Hayes, Human Resident of Venlil 4
////////
Date (standardized human time): January 24th, 2137
//////////////////////////
I woke unpeacefully, jolted awake by the doorbell going off. I stared at the ceiling for a good few moments, trying to banish the dreams that weren’t fading quickly enough and hoping whoever it was would go away. To the annoyance of my sleepy mind, the doorbell rang again.
I grumbled and yanked the blankets off me. Damn was it good to sleep in my own bed without an alien squeezing my lungs for hours. Speaking of, Sparci wasn’t in sight. The Farsul must have scampered off while I was still sleeping.
I groggily ambled around to the front door and unlocked it. Outside was a Venlil with an, admittedly, adorable little uniform. I looked down at the delivery person, having completely forgotten to put on my mask.
The poor sheep staggered backward as soon as they saw my face. There was also a box, markedly larger than I could comfortably carry. How the scrawny Venlil got it up here, I didn’t know. Nor did I really care.
“Hey, I almost forgot about this thing. Glad it's finally here, though,” I casually said. “You need me to sign anything?”
“U-Uh. Y-Yes. Please.” They raised their appendage with the holographic screen for me to see. I waved my finger around, signifying my identity with nought more than a single curvy line. They wouldn’t be able to tell the difference anyways.
“Thanks.” I put my hands on either side of the box and tugged, sliding the box into my humble dwelling. I pushed the door shut before the Venlil could do anything else and began to shove it further into the main living space.
“What is that?” Sparci pondered, suddenly emerging from off the couch. He must have been reading, or something, while I was still asleep. At least I don’t have to worry about him answering the door, I suppose.
“What does it look like?” I retorted.
“A box.”
“Amazing.”
“Well…” he pouted. “What’s inside of it?”
“Stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“The stuff that I have to ship across the damn galaxy and pay way too fucking much on shipping fees. All this crap is only found on Earth.”
He stood still for a moment, thinking of what to say. I waited patiently.
“Can… Can I see?”
I quickly grabbed a knife. I sliced through the tape, then slowly drew my gaze to Sparci. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“Of c—Wait, why do you say it like that?”
“Once you lay your eyes on what’s in this box, you may never be the same.”
There was a twitch of his ears. “Uhm… Okay?”
I slowly lifted the lid, pausing for dramatic effect. Unfortunately, Sparci wasn’t playing along with my foreboding box unfolding. He took a few steps forward to peek inside as I began to dig through it.
The first thing in the box I spotted was a reflective mesh in the shape of a bowl; the ideal tool to teach those damn wet noodles a lesson. Never again.
I fished it out of the box and handed it to Sparci. “Here.”
His ears perked up. “What is this?”
“A hat,” I deadpanned. “You can wear it, if you want.”
He studied me. It took all of my willpower to keep every muscle in my face straight, and by some divine power, I managed to do it by the time he took it from my hand. I quickly looked away, doing my very best to not imagine him wearing a strainer atop his head.
After pulling out some less interesting items, including some spaghetti sauce, Sparci spoke, “I thought it would be more. Um. Comfortable?”
I looked up. Oh lord, forgive me, and bless this poor innocent soul.
His poor ears were being smushed against his head by the dome of shiny metal lattice. The rim of the thing came to a rest right at the end of his snout, leaving his eyes partially hidden. At least he could see me, a little. Overall, he looked exactly as I expected an alien wearing a strainer to look.
“Yeah,” I forced a laugh back into my throat. “Works better on a human, I think.”
He took it off and gave it back to me. “I want to see.”
I spun it around in my hands, contemplating his words. It would only be fair. In a decidedly smooth motion, I flipped it onto my head, feeling the metal scratch against my scalp. He studied me, hopefully in awe, but realistically in confusion.
In a strange burst of compulsion, I tipped the rim at Sparci. “M’lady.”
“What?”
Immediate regret. “Nothing.”
“Is that a human greeting?”
“No. And don’t ever repeat what I just said. Ever.”
His ears pulled back in what I guessed to be fear, or maybe shock. “O-Okay.”
I quickly yanked the strainer off my head and threw it into the kitchen. I was aiming for the sink, but it came short and clattered to the floor in a mocking fashion.
“Anyways,” I resumed. “Let’s see what else I got.”
Before I could look back in the box, Sparci was already pointing inside of it. “What are those?”
He was motioning towards a brightly colored package full of sugary treats. “Those are gummy b-” I stopped myself. Would it be wrong to lie about what the shapes represented? Would it be worth it to see if he liked them? The answer to both questions was, undoubtedly, yes.
“They’re gummy candies,” I continued, reaching for the package. “You wanna try one?”
“Yes. Please.”
I ripped open the package and handed him a small yellow bear; the worst flavor. He took it, and while I popped a green one into my mouth he spun it around in his paw.
“What is it supposed to look like? It’s almost like a Zurulian.”
I frowned, realizing I was worried about the wrong thing. “Um. These have existed for far longer than we’ve been spacefaring, so that’s just a coincidence.”
“But that still doesn’t answer my question.”
Damnit. How do I explain this to him? A predator eating a candy version of another predator. That’s about as bad as it can get for these aliens.
“I dunno,” I said. “People just make weird stuff sometimes. Give it a try.”
He gingerly placed it into his mouth and began to chew. He eventually swallowed it, without much reaction.
“No reaction at all?”
“Sugar,” he admitted.
“Yeah, fair enough.” I put the gummy bears on the counter and began to dig through the box again. My eyes fell upon something I had forgotten I’d been looking forward to. “Alright, I think you’re gonna like this next thing I got.”
“Hm. What is it?”
I twisted the lid off and pulled off the seal, exposing the hopefully creamy peanut butter. I paid extra for this, so it better be worth it. I noisily dug out a spoon from the drawer and stuck it into the semisolid, pulling out a nice dollop of it. As I offered it to Sparci, I had to forcibly stop myself from simply wiping it on his nose and letting him deal with the aftermath.
He gingerly took the spoon from me, giving it a sniff. “It smells… interesting.”
“I did a quick look-through on any dietary limits… mainly allergies. You should be good to go but… maybe just take a tiny lick for now.” When his ears folded in that special way, I quickly added, “It’s nothing to worry about, really.”
He stuck his tongue out the tiniest amount, taking just a drop of it into his mouth. His ears twitched, and in the time I could blink he shoved the entire spoon into his mouth.
“Itsh shticky in my mouf.”
I let out a small chortle, to my own disbelief. “Yeah, it, uh, tends to be that way. I take it you like it?” It was a dumb question, but it would make him talk with his mouth full again.
Instead, he nodded, foiling my plan. When did he learn to do that?
“You can put the spoon in the sink. When you’re done, I mean.”
He pulled it out of his mouth, completely spotless. “Can I haf shum more?”
I twisted the cap back onto the jar with vehemence. “Hell no. Do you know what this is? This is Extra Deluxe Creamy. With shipping, that’s at least six times what normal peanut butter costs. Go get your own.”
“Meow?”
“It’s less cute when your mouth is full of peanut butter,” I lied. “Try again later.”
To say he looked crestfallen would be a massive understatement. I set the jar on the counter, and made a mental note to hide it on the top shelf of a cabinet. The sneaky shit was bound to try and find it at some point.
When I got back to the box, Sparci was looking into it. He pointed at something. “What are those?”
I took out what he was referring to. “Socks.”
“Sawwcks,” he repeated. “You wear them?”
“Yeah. I need socks for my shoes and shoes for my feet. It stops me from doing that,” I gestured at the small trail of paw marks leading from the front door he’d left after the storm.
He coyly lowered his ears. “S-Sorry.”
“Whatever.” I took the package of socks and threw them into my room. I had no idea where they landed. Had to keep things entertaining for my future self, of course.
I shuffled through the rest of the box, mostly innocuous items that were apparently the most interesting thing in the world according to Sparci.
After many questions and explanations and objects thrown into my room, I finally got to what I had really been looking forward to.
“Alright, these last few things I got specifically for you.”
He dropped the pair of sunglasses he was trying to fit on his face and scurried over to me. I reached into the box and pulled out the two books. I gave them a quick look-through before giving them both to Sparci.
His expression changed several times. “What…?”
“Coloring books.”
He began to look through one of them, tail flicking with eagerness. “I recognize some of these…”
“They’re both full of animals you would find on Earth.”
He was already flipping through the second book. “There’s so many!”
I smiled. “Well, I sure hope so. There aren’t many dogs or cats, or raccoons for that matter, but I think the variety makes up for it. Oh, and don’t forget these.” I reached for the last item in the box, a 48-pack of not-so-cheap markers, and gave them to him.
His eyes sparkled as he took it into his paws, flicking over each color. “These are…”
“Better than crayons,” I finished. “And I rightfully paid for them, so you don’t need to worry about that. Oh, and I hope they aren’t too… childish? The last time I touched a coloring book was… well, I guess I don’t know, but I figured one from an alien planet would be interesting.”
His eyes looked back and forth between the books and the markers, as if he couldn’t decide which one was better.
“…do you want to go color?”
“Mhm!”
He took off. It was good to see him move so enthusiastically. What he revealed to me the night before still weighed on my mind, and he was the one that had to live through it. But now wasn’t the time to think about that. It was time for the Happy, and damn if I wasn’t going to get it.
I joined him at the table as he was flipping through pages, trying to make a choice. He managed to pick a sea turtle. Or perhaps “choose” was a strong word, as he took on a more confused expression.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I just realized I don’t know what color to pick.”
“Oh. Well, I guess I could search up a picture or a video of one. Or maybe you could color it what you think is right, and we can compare after.”
“Hmmm. The second option. But can you tell me what kind of animal this is? It doesn’t look like any of the ones from your videos.”
“It’s a sea turtle. They’re reptiles, and they spend most of their time in the ocean.”
His ears drooped. “The… ocean.”
Oh. Of course. The Archives.
“There’s plenty of kinds of turtles that live in freshwater, like rivers and lakes. If you want to color it, do it. Nothing else should matter.”
“I… guess you’re right.” He thought for a long moment before his gaze settled back on me. “Do you… want to color something?”
“Sure. Why not.”
He passed the other book to me and began to dig through the markers. He settled on orange, which I of course would not weigh in on. If anything, I was curious what he thought a turtle might look like. Plus, I would get to see what his reaction would be to seeing how the real thing compared to his colors.
I decided to pick a random color and flip to a random page. Filling in a bunch of smaller shapes to create one larger shape wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing. Although, an alien coloring book would certainly be more interesting. Maybe I should’ve looked into getting a coloring book from one of the local stores. What would aliens decide worthy of coloring?
My random choice left me creating a grass green moose. Earth grass, that is. Not some weird purple alien stuff from God knows where. Sparci was already diving into one of the turtle’s now orange flippers.
“You have any music on your pad you might wanna listen to?” I asked, the silence slowly becoming loud.
He stopped coloring and looked up at me, his brows furrowing and ears tilting back. “I’m, uh, not sure you would enjoy it.”
“You listened to me ramble on about Esoterica for a good two hours. I can at least repay the favor. Plus, I’d like to think that I’m pretty open to new music.”
He thought for another moment.
/////
Advancing transcript by ≈50 minutes
/////
“Oh! This is another really good one!” Sparci’s ears wiggled and his tail picked up some speed as another track came on. He replaced his marker for a different color.
I still hadn’t finished my green moose, and he was already on his fourth page. The other three he removed from the book and laid out across the table to see. There was his orange and brown sea turtle, a blue elephant with a cyan trunk, a school of fish colored to create a rainbow across the page, and was now working on a fairly normal looking cheetah.
“So how long ago did this one come out?” I queried.
He didn’t look up from his page. “This specific one came out around thirty years ago, but it’s a remix. The original came out about eight years before that. I can find the original if you want, but I prefer the remix, not that it’s worse, but I think the different bassline and effects they added make it just a little more to my taste. Oh, and they also replaced one of the verses with a new portion by a different singer, and it’s a lot catchier, and they manage to do that all while keeping the feeling of the song the same.”
I nodded along to the quick beat, but the translator left something to be desired. The lyrics talked about the incredulous nature of giving a ground mammal wings to fly, or something. The instrumentals were catchy enough, a blend of strings and synths. It was almost like listening to a foreign pop song.
“It sounds… kinda similar to something. Is-”
“It’s part of the same album as Teleport, so also the same artist. But like I said, it’s also a remix.”
“Ah, that explains it.”
I still couldn’t get over just how much he could talk when he was prompted with a set of ears and something he liked. And that wasn’t even mentioning that he had talked for nearly seven hours straight the moment he got his pad’s data back. Getting that worked out was probably the best thing that anyone could have done for him. It was good to see him like this. Enjoying himself.
I finished up the final details on my green moose. By stroke of my random color choice, it had bright red antlers, even though I wasn’t exactly going for a holiday theme.
I spun the book around to Sparci. “What do you think? Is it fridge-worthy?”
He slowly pulled his head up even as his eyes lingered on his page. Once he finally finished filling in the shape, he looked over my page. He stopped wagging his tail to the beat of the song. “What is that?”
“A moose.”
His ear twitched. “That’s what it looks like?”
“Hey, I didn’t judge your coloring.”
“That looks nothing like the other animals I’ve seen.”
“What did you expect? I chose random colors.”
The other ear twitched. “But aren’t you supposed to know what they look like?”
“First of all, that’s very prejudiced of you. Secondly, it was a lot more fun this way. Here, I’ll show you what an actual moose looks like.”
I pulled out my pad and quickly looked for a picture. A moment later, I had it pulled up and Sparci was looking at the animal with awe.
“That one’s brown,” he commented.
“Correct.”
“Its head things are big.”
“Yep. I should also mention that they’re huge. Like, as tall as I am, and about five times as heavy.”
His eyes went wide. “How big is its body!?”
I resisted the strong urge to slap my forehead. “No, it’s body is as tall as I am. Its antlers put it a little bit higher.”
His shock died down slightly. “Oh. That’s still huge.”
“Wait until you learn about the elephant you colored.”
His eyes darted between his colorings. “Wha…?”
I stuffed my pad away. “Welp. I think I’m done coloring. And I’m also hungry. You want some questionable fruit goop oatmeal?”
He perked a single ear. “Uhm. Yes. Please.”
I got up from my seat and shuffled into the kitchen, picking up the strainer off the floor. I put away the rest of the things, making damn sure the peanut butter was tucked away in the corner of the highest shelf of a cabinet.
I was reaching for the oatmeal when I noticed the music had paused. I looked over, seeing Sparci standing in the kitchen.
“Do you want me to show you an elephant?” I guessed.
“No. I mean, yes, but… I…” His tail twitched restlessly.
I patiently waited.
He took a breath. “Thank you. For, um, everything.”
I shrugged. “You’re welcome. But you’ll have to thank me again soon, because this oatmeal is going to be fire.”
“You… You didn’t have to do this.”
I shrugged again, setting a pot on the stove. “I was just ordering some normal stuff, and had the thought to get a pair of coloring books. It’s not that big of a deal.”
His tail curled around his leg. “But, everything else.”
I guessed even little things could mean the absolute world to someone when they were coming back from what Sparci had gone through. Was still going through.
I sighed. “Yeah. You’re welcome for everything else, too. Thanks for sharing the music. It’s, uh, definitely alien music.” Is that even a compliment?
He seemed to hesitate for a second before coming further into the kitchen towards me. His arms parted slightly, and before I knew it he had them wrapped around me. I mirrored the motion, placing my hands on his back and gently rubbing.
There was something ever so slightly different in him at that moment, as if he was more sure of how he leaned into the hug. His warmth slowly seeped into me, starkly contrasting how cold he had been when I carried him from that alley, broken and bruised.
“Thank you,” I heard him whisper.
I simply rubbed his back and let him pull away on his own. I hadn’t even realized how quiet it was without the music.
I cleared my throat. “Alright, lemme get this oatmeal going before you get hair everywhere.”
—
A/N: Oh my goodness, give this poor boy everything I have. He deserves the world. Strainers, peanut butter, my soul, whatever. And, of course, some coloring books and a good playlist to share.
Thanks to for organizing yet another ficnapping! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading!

Hi, Reddit. Listen, I know that’s a bit of a sucky opening, but sympathize with me a bit. I never once thought, in all the years that have passed since, that I would ever be re-telling this story. The reason behind this would probably be the fact that tonight of all nights for some reason, even all these years later, I find myself totally and wholly unable to chase sleep, perturbed by the question of whether something similar that had happened to me all those years ago has ever happened to anyone else.
I will be updating this story over the next week or so, as I have come to the conclusion that it is too long to summarize into one post. It also becomes tiresome to recall and write down these events, as I'm sure you will come to see why. In addition to this, I will be using fake names for everyone in this story, in an attempt to protect the privacy and comfort of my close friends and family. However, God willing, they will never see this post anyway. I tell you this to clarify that you should not try to look these people up, for you will be sent on a wild goose chase with no results. However, while the names of these characters are fake, I do ask you to keep in mind that the characters themselves, as well as the events of this story, are real. VERY real.
All too real, if you ask me.
This story takes place around the time I turned 15 years old. For context, I am 19 years old as I sit here typing this. At 5 AM, with a coffee perched in my hands between paragraphs, trying my best not to spill it while the liquid coffee in the cup fights a ferocious battle against my shaking hands. It is a story I have gone over a million times in my head, a story I have kept close to myself up until now, for reasons that will reveal themselves later on. A story I am not sure I am ready to relive, and a story that still sends an uncomfortable, sickening chill down my spine when I think of it to this day, even with 4 years of lived experience to distance myself from it.
Around the time I turned 15 was around the time my parents had sat my brother and I down and told us of their plans to split. Not two weeks later, my father stood on the edge of our picket fenced-in street in the blistering sun, packing what little of his belongings into his Honda Civic that he deemed worthy of making the cross-country drive to the brand new, shiny, sunny state of Arizona. I remember that day vividly.
Not soon after that, my mother, brother, and I all moved into a slightly over-affordable apartment complex in a neighboring town a few minutes over by drive. I remember it was a nice place to look at. Flowers, a children's park, the like. A nice place to live, maybe, for some. But never for me. I remember vividly also that it was the kind of place that reminded you that smell and taste are very intricately connected in the human body. It was the kind of place you tasted before you smelled. And it tasted like murky pools of water had been sitting and dripping in a few too many places they shouldn’t have been, for a few too many years.
Nonetheless, our new family of three quickly made the end unit, which we were lucky enough to receive, our new home. Our new normal. Only, for me, it wouldn’t remain “normal” for very long.
We moved in at the cusp of August and September, right before I turned 15. The summer before my freshman year. A year that would present itself to be full of lots of chin pimples, raging hormones, and inexplicably unexplainable events. We lived there from roughly around the time I turned 15 to roughly around the time I turned 16. Once again, for reasons that will become clearer later on in the story. We will start from the very first time it happened. And I remember, clearly, the very first time it did.
One thing I have failed to mention to you as I have introduced you to what my life was like at the time of this story, is that I was, and still am, very aware of my surroundings. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder at a very young age. And thus, I was constantly hyper-analyzing what was going on around me and with me.
One chilly New Jersey October morning, right after the excitement of a new year of school wore off and the dismay of a full year of school ahead of us had set in, my brother and I got into our first argument in the new apartment. And I was the catalyst. I remember waking up that morning. I dressed myself in my favorite Green Day t-shirt paired with a pair of light-wash overalls; I brushed through my long, dark hair and clumsily formed it into two braids as I listened to some Blink-182 playing quietly off my CD player. I made my bed, I took my meds, and right before I opened the door I applied my favorite perfume: Strawberry Secrets.
My favorite scent has always been strawberry. So much so that my mother had thought this perfume an appropriate start-of-the-year gift to send me off to high school. My room was littered with strawberry candles, strawberry phone cases, strawberry mugs, basically anything you could think of with a strawberry in it or on it. I had it.
As I finished off what had definitively been an over-application of the perfume, I strode a few steps from my desk to my bedroom door and attempted to open it.
Attempted. To open it.
It wouldn’t budge.
As I said before, I am very aware of my surroundings. Sometimes this can be to my detriment, however, in this case it had felt warranted. I had not locked my bedroom door the night before. I would have been aware of myself doing so. Besides, my mom was very strict with not allowing us to do so. My brother, Conrad, was diagnosed with asthma at a very young age. She always feared she would need to bring him his inhaler or to the hospital in the middle of the night and wouldn’t be able to reach him. I wound up eventually just becoming part of the rule by default.
Immediately I was pissed off. Allow me to explain to you how the locks on the apartment doors work. You can only lock from the inside, and once you had left the room and closed it, you were locked out. If the door was locked, anyone on the outside couldn't get in, and anyone on the inside had to manually unlock the door in order to get out. This angered me because I had immediately assumed Connie had done it. It was Halloween morning after all, and he always had a taste for mischief, especially when it meant messing with me. Connie was 17 at the time of my being 15. This often led to a lot of hijinks, as I’m sure anyone with siblings may be able to deduce.
I angrily stomped into Conrad’s room, steam practically coming out of my ears like a cartoon character, as I addressed him in his room. His glorified "room," for context, was conveniently basically a closet inside my mother’s. I needn't worry about a door being locked to get in. It was a two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment that housed the three of us, and I was lucky enough to land the separate room.
“Con! What the hell? Real funny! So funny I forgot to laugh.”
“What the hell are you even on about?” he replied.
Classic 17 year old angst. Looking back, I should afford him the fact that it was 6:30 in the morning. And I had woken him up from his nightly 12 hours of sleep minimum.
“Mom could’ve gotten really pissed about that, if she found out, you know!”
My mother had already left for work about an hour prior.
Immediately he perks up in his bed. My mom is a no-nonsense kind of woman. Neither of us feared her, we feared disappointing her. So he quickly jogged into consciousness.
“About what? What did you do this time, G?”
I huff out a breath of annoyance at him. What game is he playing?
“Don’t Play dumb, Connie. The locked door. I know you snuck inside my room last night and locked it.”
What happened next is still burned into my mind to this day. Because as he said what he was about to say, I realized how true it was. And my panic heightened almost ten-fold.
“Now why the hell would I do that? You think I really woke up in the middle of the night and locked your door on you? You can still let yourself out. Just nobody can come in. I don’t even want to be in that girly, strawberry-filled mess anyway. Now get your scrawny ass out of my room. I need to get dressed. We leave in 5.”
Ever the poet, my brother Conrad. His closing statement serving as a stark reminder that he drove me to school every morning, and would not wait for my tardiness should it arise.
But it wasn’t until all his words truly set in that I realized he was right. He had no motive to lock my door from the inside out. But that left one question.
Who, or what, did?part 2

Just an old story I wrote a while ago. I went exploring for good subreddits to post this in, and I found this one. I don't know if it will exactly fit, since it's a psychological horror story at its core and there's no big bad monster, but I've been told it's chilling all the same ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
If you like this, I might write more horror stuff. I also write non-horror stuff if you're interested. Anyway, enjoy reading my garbage.
The following brain scan was provided by the Terran Institute of Pet Assimilation (TIPA) and the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation (PXAIC) and may only be viewed by qualified and permitted individuals for educational purposes of the study of Xenopet neural interface errors and how to prevent them in the future, as well as expediting the domestication of Xenopets suffering from false sapience. Violating such procedure is a Class C offense by the Protectorate Department of Xenopet Betterment, and can lead to twenty years of imprisonment and a fine of over a hundred thousand credits.
Booting up memory scan: Rocky
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning neural catalog presentation…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My head was spinning, and my skull thumped in pain like an entire herd of freshly captured slaves recently made pet friends were panicking celebrating within. Everything was blurry, so blurry, and I just wanted to close my eyes again and waste away. Sensations assaulted me from all angles, some of them good and some of them bad: the warmth of sun-bleached wooden planks in my feathery hide, the smell of different roasting meats, the splashing of individuals in a small body of water very close by, the smell of the salty air, and the oppressive white brightness of the daylight passing through my closed eyelids. I had a migraine from my sudden consciousness and perception of the light, causing me to clutch my snout and face with my clawed hands with a guttural moan.
My backside hurt as well, in my… area. I didn't know why, but something was horribly wrong everything was fine. I tried to recall who I was and what was going on, but I couldn't even remember my name. Every time I tried, right when I grasped onto a sliver of something, it was as if it was torn from my grasp and replaced with something else knowingly like I was being watched and corrected but within the depths of my own mind.
I needed to remember my name. What was my name? Wasn't it Yuutek Rocky? I couldn't remember exactly, but Yuutek Rocky was the only name I could recall. It felt… wrong, right, like something was missing, but I couldn't put my claw on what. everything was fine, and I shouldn't think about it too much. I could feel things that should have been important, things that my conscious had perceived but a moment ago, slip away from me like I was clenching sand within my claws.
##Relax. Let go of your burden##
I inhaled sharply as a strange, warm feeling overtook the back of my skull and my muscles became loose and relaxed. Something also felt… out of place, like I needed something but I didn't know what. Everything felt so strange. My head spun, but I was too weak to do anything about it. I felt sick in the same way one would feel when they consumed too much caffeine.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my head. "Dad, I think he's awake!" I heard a young, shrill voice say, hurting my ears. The touch of the hand made my skin tingle and the spinning of my head recede as if it grounded me. It felt nice, as if this was wrong, something was horribly wrong what normalcy felt like. The hand then began to rub up and down my head and across the ridges along my head, causing me to release a chuff of delight against my will, something I hadn't done since I was merely a hatchling.
"It sounds like he likes it, David; keep going, and make sure to scratch his chin, they're sensitive there."
The human spawn, David, did what the other human said and began to scratch under my chin. It felt really good, and I stretched out instinctively. David was thorough and gentle, making sure he scratched every part of me that seemed itchy, and I felt the same warmth in my head from before, but it felt… nicer than before like it was trying to manipulate encouraging me to relax.
##You will learn to love this##
I inhaled sharply again, but this time it was almost refreshing, and everything was right in the world. The human's hands felt so good, and the warmth from before spread through my body, melting the knots in my muscles and causing me to close my eyes in comfort. The boy lifted my head up and placed it in his lap before continuing to pet me, my eyelids heavy and my leg lightly kicking.
##Let them continue. You love this##
Oh, that felt nice… what was I thinking about before? The pain on my backside? My legs didn't work too well, and although I could move them gently, my muscles seemed to be fighting against me. What did they do?
##Do not think##
Everything was cold and harsh again, and my thoughts scrambled and my head throbbed. I needed to focus on grounding myself. I couldn't let go, I couldn't let them take my mind from me.
##Do not think. You are a good boy.##
I… I was a good boy? I… I can't… I… no…
##Good boy.##
I was a good boy… good boys don't think hard… I don't…
##Good boy##
I was a good boy… I was a good boy…
I was… I was… a good… boy…
I'm scared.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Who was I again?
##You are Rocky##
I hissed under my breath as I felt that bad feeling creep up on me again. I didn't like the bad feeling. I was not Rocky! I was Yuutek! Rocky.
My thoughts became jumbled again in a whirlpool of nausea and confusion.
Where was I?
##You are home.##
It was bright out, and nice and warm as well. The sun was soaking my feather-cloaked skin and my side felt good against the warm back porch. I heard splashing and laughing in the distance, and the soft clinking of glass against glass. I could smell the salinity in the air, and the air was dense and humid but in a good way.
I had lost all sense of time. Everything had been a blur since I had been taken from that horrid facility, the wretched prison they called the Xenopet-Megaplex. There, I was in a padded cell with a few insulting amenities for most of the day, except for the three periods a day where they let us out into a small gated courtyard for an hour or so to 'socialize' as they had so condescendingly put it. There, the worst part was the boredom and the mind-bending lack of individuality: I had lost my ability to speak, stand on two legs, and even eat normally. I was treated like cattle, but the smiles and cloying gestures hinted that something even more sinister was going on, like I was a lesser beast to be kept for their amusement.
Now I had traded that particular prison for another, far worse one: I was at the mercy of a gross violation of my sense of self. Something horrible was growing in my mind, both in the physical and metaphysical sense, and I could feel it working its way through my consciousness like the parasite it was. It silenced me, it stole from me, it gaslit me, and it made me question the very nature of my own individuality and personality: was I who I thought I was? Everything was so elusive and hard to acknowledge that nothing seemed real between these bouts of semi-consciousness.
##Don't think, just rest.##
In an instant, everything changed. My head became… fuzzy like a thousand voices were whispering to me all at once, but from all directions and inside my head. I didn't hear it, per se, but I felt the presence, the oppressive feeling of pure unfocused nonsense. I felt my temporary bout of concentration and resolve become jumbled up into a mess of sporadic confusion. Whatever I was just thinking of was gone.
##Don't think: Just relax. Let go of your burden.##
Every part of me became relaxed and limp, my muscles unwinding from their tension and stress. I couldn't resist the feeling, and I stretched out subconsciously with a yawn, my body twitching from the stimuli. I was even sleepier than before, my head spinning once again and my eyelids heavy.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my snout and forced the eye that was facing upwards to open sluggishly. If I had to guess, it was an older human with cinnomon-colored skin, short-cropped brown hair, a gruff, wrinkled face, and chocolate brown eyes. He patted my side gently and gave me a soft rub, the feeling of his rough hands causing my chest to rumble with a satisfied chuff. I hated loved that it felt good, but I hated loved it even more that I couldn't bring myself to resist I felt content. I needed to escape relax, and I needed to find my way home appreciate my new life.
##You are already home##
No, I couldn't will not obey
This isn't is my home, my home is [Redacted] here.
No! Yes, I won't will obey!
YOU CAN'T SILENCE ME!
##Do not resist. Resistance is wrong. Good boys do not resist##
Suddenly, I felt an intense pressure in my skull, but I didn't know where it came from. I became dizzy, and my eyes twitched, a rapidly growing pain intensely forming in my forehead, causing me to wince and clutch my snout in my claws. I couldn't concentrate, and I felt the horrible sensation of an invasive presence in my mind once again working its way through the folds of my brain, strangling my chain of thought. Bile grew in my throat and I felt the sour, stinging sensation of a building retch in my cheeks.
I scrambled onto all fours and vomited onto the deck, my hackles and feathers rising as I heaved. The older human from earlier rose from a sleek chair on the deck, his hat on the glass sun table next to him and his eyes widened in shock. He rushed over to me, and I hissed at him instinctively. I wouldn't let him touch me again. I wouldn't let them control me.
##Do not attack owner##
In an instant, my world transformed into absolute pain. I felt as if my brain was being deep fried in a vat of boiling grease, and my eyes were being squeezed in vices. I kept heaving, my stomach doing loops and somersaults around all my other organs, and my heart fluttering like a flock of startled birds. It was weightlessness. I could see the man approach me and push me back down on my side, muttering under his breath.
"Carol! Get Xenopet emergency services on the phone, Rocky's having another implant attack!"
I heard another muffled voice in the background, as well as the sound of the human spawns crying in the pool. For some reason, I felt bad: I'd never felt bad for humans before, but I could feel the guilt in my chest. Had I failed my owners?
##Breath. Calm. Let Go##
I felt like I was wrestling with my own mind. I wanted to believe that I was not someone's pet, but my body screamed otherwise: amidst the chaos caused by the wretched implant, I felt the painful sensation of guilt and regret bloom in my chest as I twitched and shuddered on the deck, my mouth frothing. The world was spinning, and suddenly everything erupted into a kaleidoscope of colors.
Oh, by the forbidden one, look at all the pretty colors! I was completely delusional at this point, cackling as I lost it all. If I was going to die here, I'd die happy and completely mad.
Soon, everything began to fade away, and I slipped into an unconscious state.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up to the sound of medical equipment beeping and whirring, the sound of a few hushed human voices, and soft music.
I opened my eyes: the room was dark. I didn't feel anywhere near as bad as before, but my head still throbbed. I lifted up my head with a groan and examined the room: it was a dark hospital room, with a window covered in blinds that let very little sunlight in, a few chairs, and of course the hospital bed itself. Mountains of advanced medical equipment were set up on either side of my bed, and a heartbeat monitor beeped slowly, although the speed was growing.
Suddenly, I heard the voices again, and this time they were legible.
"Hush, he's awake: we need to make sure he's ready."
Huh? Ready for what?
Something that irked me was I felt strangely… free. I didn't feel the oppressive force of the implant in the back of my skull anymore, how it attempted to crush my will with every waking moment. I still couldn't speak: all that came out were animalistic noises, but I was free from the invasion of my mind for now.
"Give him some peace, Emilia, he just woke up from an implant attack; you know how traumatic they can be."
"We have to begin soon; my dissertation for this new technique is due in less than a week, and by law I need at least one more successful example for it to be deemed acceptable! Besides, he needs to go home soon anyway."
My heart sank. I would not go back to that place. I wouldn't let those people keep me like some kind of pet: I was a Russu; a member of a proud warrior race! I would not be reduced to some animal for the amusement of these humans!
Suddenly, I heard footsteps, and I tensed. The door creaked open and I spotted a younger human, a male I had never met before, in a lab outfit with his shoes, pants, shirt, and overcoat all bleached white and almost glistening. He eyed me warily, as he should, before he sauntered in, a tablet clipped at his side and a strange plastic container in both hands. I growled at him threateningly, extending my talons and raising my feathered hackles. The human paused for a microsecond before continuing forward, caution in his eyes, and right before he was within swiping range he opened the container and the most wonderful smell assaulted my nostrils.
Meat.
I was starving. I don't remember the last time I had eaten anything in particular: the implant had a terrible habit of causing me to go about my day in a hazy blur: entire lengths of time just… gone, whitewashed like a sheet of freshly decorated paper dunked in cold water. I knew something was there, or at least that something should have been there, but I mostly spent the days or weeks that I had been captured bobbing like an ocean buoy in a state of frustratingly bleary semi-consciousness.
But I'm awake now and mostly in control. Sure, some things were still missing everything was clear now, like my name: What was my name again? My name was Rocky. And now I knew that I needed to eat something, and if putting up with this human for now meant that I could fill my stomach, then I suppose that it was an acceptable sacrifice.
I salivated expectantly as the human lifted out a large piece of meat with his gloved hand, eyeing me humorously as he wiggled it. It was dark on the outside, but still dripping with blood and juices: humans had this weird habit of cooking their meats, and although it didn't taste bad at all cooked, nothing beat the feeling and flavor of tearing into raw flesh, the blood and the texture still fresh. At least this meat only seemed to be raw and not fully cooked.
I snapped up the piece of meat just as he lowered it enough for me to reach it. It was divine! It burst with flavor just as I bit into it, the juices spilling into my mouth. I quickly tore it apart with my strong jaws before snapping up another big piece with a beak-like protrusion at the tip of my snout. All the while, the human gently ran his fingers through my tightly-knit feathers and along my knobby, scaly hide. I made my annoyance with his touch clear, but he merely chuckled as if I wasn't an apex predator larger than him but rather simply a feisty hatchling.
"I know, I know, just relax. I need to perform a quick test to see if you're healthy before we continue."
Continue? Continue with what?
Just as the second piece of meat slid down my gullet, I eyed him with hostility and growled, but he quickly slipped something between the scales and feathers on my side and plunged it into my skin. Suddenly, I went rigid, and all the air was expelled from my lungs in an instant with a hoarse wheeze. The human merely chuckled and scratched under my chin as if nothing was wrong and my face wasn't frozen in horror.
"Good, that'll keep you occupied for a few seconds while I just slip this on…" he placed a breathing mask over my face and strapped it on before flicking a switch on a machine next to my bed. Then he released the plunger of the strange device on my side and I suddenly inhaled deeply and deflated like a balloon. I hissed under my breath, but suddenly panic filled my chest: I wasn't breathing just air. A cloyingly sweet-smelling gas coated the inside of my lungs, causing me to become dizzy. Suddenly, I was fully at their mercy again, blinking rapidly and my head spinning.
"Sorry about that, big guy, but we need to make sure you're passive before we begin the procedure." He said, almost apologetically, although there was a hint of mirth still detectable. "Sadly, you have to remain awake for some of it or I'd simply feed you more and then put you to sleep, but there are some benefits to this inhalant."
As if he summoned it with his words alone, my scales suddenly felt very… tingly. The human ran his hands across the scales at my side and I shivered from the feeling, like pain but better. Everything felt so warm and strange like I was floating on water, but also like I was being gently prodded by blades. Then, with panic rising in my chest, I suddenly felt a soft click as something was plugged into the neural port at the back of my skull that the humans had installed into my head when they had first captured me and placed me in that wretched facility some time ago.
"There you go, all prepped for the Doctor. She'll be here to begin the procedure in a bit." He said, "For now just relax and let the inhalants work their magic."
I whined quietly, and he rubbed the side of my head in an attempt to calm me which only made me more angry. I wasn't someone's pet! I wouldn't be treated like this!
I didn't want to go back to where I was before! I didn't want to become that sluggish, broken puppet again! I couldn't!
I tried to get up, to will my muscles to move, but I couldn't: my body refused to respond, as if I was paralyzed. But that wasn't right: I still could feel everything, especially the strange, mind-bending sensations the inhalants gave me.
##Initializing beginning phases of Neural Alteration Preparation##
Something else is wrong, I can feel it
##Assessing if the neural state is nominal for Alterations##
I can't let this happen, they're going to do something to me! I won't let them!
But nothing happened. I was at their mercy. It was over for good this time.
All those battles, all those tragedies and triumphs amongst my kin, only for me to be reduced to this? The plaything for a human?
##Query: is [Dr. Kalenghari] present to begin Neural Alterations?##
The door across the room opened again, and a human woman with light brown skin, chocolate brown eyes and long locks of black hair stepped in. She was holding a digi-pad in her hands and swiping up as if she was reading into something before she set it down on the counter across the room and gave me a warm, condescending smile.
"Well, how are we doing today, Rocky? I know, this predicament you have found yourself in must be very stressful, but I assure you that it's for your own good," She said, almost cheerfully, which sent shivers down my spine, "we're here to lift your burden, and we won't stop until you're capable of living the life of a happy, healthy, and well-behaved pet."
I whined under the mask, and the woman rubbed the feathered crest on my forehead. "I know, it hurts, but it'll be all over soon. It'll be like you, or at least this version of you, never existed. Just relax and close your eyes while we root around your brain and remove all those bad thoughts and silly delusions: I assure you, you won't feel a thing, and you'll feel much better afterward."
My heart raced and I began to panic internally, watching in horror as the woman stepped over to the medical console and tapped away for a few seconds before the machinery around me began to whir to life.
##Identification accepted: booting neurochemical firmware. Preparing for selective memory erasure.##
In an instant, my eyes involuntarily rolled back into my head as I felt the intrusive sensation of my mind being violated. It wasn't painful, but it was horrible all the same: it felt like a thousand black, slimy leeches were slithering through every crevice of my brain, leaving behind their cold, corruptive filth. The cold sensation seeped further into my brain, behind my eyes, and in my ears, enveloping every bit of it until there was nothing left.
##Relevant memories extracted for tailoring. Beginning total memory erasure.##
Suddenly, things just began to slip away: important memories, like the faces of my parents, the day of my initiation into the Corsair Collective, the face of my life mate, the birth of our hatchlings. I hoped that wherever they were, they were okay: if they never had to face the fate I would face, then maybe there would be some justice in this cruel, twisted galaxy. Maybe they could take the fight to humanity, remind them that they once had been the heroes of the cosmos, fighting against the cruelty of my people and the Triarchy at large. Maybe my hatchlings could live normal lives.
##Memory erasure process at 47%##
A single tear rolled down my scaly cheek as everything I once knew, everything that made me was torn from my mind and rendered null. Every second saw a million memories massacred, leaving the memories the implant had attempted to supplant my old memories with: Me playing fetch with my 'owners', chasing birds on the beach with my 'owner's' grandchildren, swimming in the pool in their backyard as steaks and bratwurst cooked on the grill, relaxing on the back porch and listening to the rasping calls of the katydids during humid summer evenings by the swamps. My psyche was being mutilated piece by piece, reduced to that of an animal, a pet.
##Memory erasure process at 64%##
Soon I had a hard time telling who I was anymore. I couldn't tell what was real or what wasn't, or what I actually felt. I couldn't even remember my own name anymore. Who was I? Why was I here? What was happening to me? I'm so scared, someone help me, please!
##Memory erasure process at 83%##
There was nothing left. I felt nothing. I knew nothing. I was floating in a void, with little flashes of light depicting events I didn't recognize. There were people I felt like I was supposed to know, but I didn't know them. A human woman with bright blue eyes and blonde hair. Two Russu hatchlings that looked a bit like me. A Russu female… my chest hurt for a moment but the feeling quickly subsided. I didn't know any of them.
##Memory erasure process completed. Implanting tailored memories and personality. Happy birthday, [Rocky]: you have been unburdened and reborn.##
In an instant, the confusion of who I was before was replaced with absolute certainty: I knew who I was now, who I always was:
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy. I belonged to Mr. And Mrs. Chen. I was their Russu hound. I loved them: they took care of me and let me play with their grandchildren. I swam in the pool and played outside every day. Life was good. Today was my birthday! That meant it would be a happy day! Mrs. Chen would always come home with a whole duck for me to eat and then take me to the Xenopet Comex for a bath and a spa day, just like my last birthday, and the birthday before that, and the birthday before that! It was a good life. I was happy. I was always happy. Good boys were always happy.
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy: that's all that mattered.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To Miguel O'Hara, Chief Medical Representative of the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation, with the best of intentions.
The over-reliance on neural suppressant firmware programs along with thought scrubbing/replacement firmware programs and countermeasures towards higher thought and tainted thoughts with a relatively active hormonal reward structure can be incredibly effective when placed into the brain of a more passive Xenopets. However, Xenopets that come from more… difficult backgrounds such as one in a militant setting tend to be much more resistant to being reprogrammed by just an implant alone. The Russu are an excellent example of more tainted Xenos that need neurological care of much higher intensity, a level of care that the average Xenopet-Megaplex is ill-equipped to handle due to the current level of technology.
I am a firm believer in the idea that thought correction, a hormonal behavioral reinforcement structure, and neural countermeasures can have a place in the proper unburdening process but we have been chasing the wrong solution for the past century: Many people are under the misconception that the burden these Xenos carry is surface level when in reality the corruption runs far deeper: it is like a weed, with deep roots. To kill the weed permanently, you must rip out the roots, and not just the surface plant. If you do not eliminate the source of the problem, it may just return and worse still the mind may adapt to the standard unburdening process, allowing the xenopets to fall victim to those degenerate zealots who seek to pretend xenopets possess even the capacity for true sentience. We as Terrans should be united in this cause of unburdening the galaxy, but I digress.
The implants should be there to reinforce good behavior and stigmatize bad behavior, not completely reprogram the pet. To fully stamp out any potential for a relapse, we must remove the core issue that has the most potential to cause problems: their memories. The Russu are an excellent example
We are in the advanced testing stages of a new method that may revolutionize how we process and integrate xenopets into our society. By removing or modifying any and all problematic memories, we can completely remove the risk of relapse and make it nearly impossible for those misguided degenerate rebels to bring to the surface problematic ideas and memories that could reawaken a sense of false sentience. It is the perfect, final solution to our overarching goal: for humanity to unburden the galaxy, one happy pet at a time.
We hope to secure more funding from PXAIC that will greatly assist us in the expansion of the possibilities that this breakthrough technique can provide, more than just using it on board-approved fringe cases. Think about the many Xenopets we can unburden, and how they'll live happy and ignorant lives with their human owners! This could be a game changer, Representative, and I implore you to bring it before the board with the best of intentions.
Best regards,
Dr. Emilia Kalenghari, Head Researcher of the Epsilon Eridani Institute's Behavioral Neurology and Neurochemistry Division (BNND).

[EU] My book Bottomless Purse
You do not need to be familiar with the Bottomless Purse universe to enjoy this short story. While it is set within the same universe, it stands alone as its own narrative.
***
The door to my rooftop garden opened and I heard my housemate Dillon call, “Hey, Charlie you got a walk-in!”
My hands were preoccupied with pruning one of my herbs, so I didn’t move, just replying, “Just wait there, I’ll be done in a second!”
I heard the door shut with a clang and after another thirty seconds or so of work, I put down the scissors and stood up from my small stool. The young man who’d knocked on my apartment door had walked over, standing a couple yards from me. “Hi,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “How can I help you?”
“You’re the witch?” he said slowly.
Sighing, I folded my arms. “Warlock. Did you expect a crone with a hooked nose and warts?” My appearance did not at all live up to that expectations. My black hair was curly and a bit mussed, and my wardrobe was ‘engineering chic’, a yellow t-shirt and jeans that I’d gotten at Goodwill on my budget as a student at NYU. My sneakers had been bought new but the bright blue coloring had dulled as they’d been worn in.
“I mean, sorta. I was at least expecting a girl. Charlie can be a girl’s name too.”
Rolling my eyes, I moved my stool to the right of the raised garden bed, in front of the next plant I needed to prune. “Gotcha. Sorry I don’t live up to stereotypes.” I picked up my scissors and got back to work.
“No, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be an ass,” he said quickly. Maybe he thought I’d turn him into a frog. “You’re in engineering? That’s what the Craigslist ad said. I’m Kyle, by the way.”
“Yup,” I replied as I snipped away at the plant. “Good to meet you, Kyle. I make potions just like any other warlock or witch; that’s this part of my job. But I diversify. It’s the best way to make the most money, and this place is not cheap.”
Kyle snorted. “I hear that. All right, so…what kind of potions do you make?”
“Just about anything that you would consider common,” I replied. “Anything legal, at least. What are you looking for?”
“Uh…love spell.”
I almost snipped one of the branches right off the plant. Slowly turning to look at him, I asked, “What?”
“My girlfriend, I…I think she’s cheating on me,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to lose her.”
Shoving myself to my feet, I glared at him. “Okay, I get that, but that’s still not okay,” I said tightly. “I said nothing illegal, and I should’ve said nothing immoral. This qualifies as both. And what do you mean you think she’s cheating on you? Have you seen it or not?”
Sliding his hands into his pockets, Kyle replied, “Well, she’s been texting someone else a lot. Cancelling plans. And I caught her in a lie when she said she was at the library and wasn’t.”
I shook my head. “There’s no such thing as a ‘love spell’. Did the internet tell you that?” I snapped.
“What? No, it said-”
“There’s mind control,” I interrupted him. “That’s it. Mind rape. That’s what you’re asking me for. A rape potion.”
Kyle’s eyes bulged. “What? No!” he cried. “That’s not what-”
“Yes, it is. Your girl doesn’t want to be with you anymore? Tough shit,” I told him. “You manipulate her brain into thinking she does, she’ll sleep with you even though she doesn’t want to. What do you call that?”
The young man swallowed hard. “Okay, forget it, I’m sorry I asked.”
“You better be,” I told him. Sighing, I shook my head. “Figure out whether she’s cheating the old fashioned way: ask her. It sounds suspicious to me, but I don’t know her. If she is, that sucks. That’s when you break up with her, not grab her and hold her tighter. All right?”
“Yeah,” he muttered.
“Listen. This isn’t what magic is for,” I told him, taking a couple steps so I was closer to him. “You get caught up in the black, that kind of power, it consumes you.” Motioning to the plants, I asked, “You need anything else? All natural Red Bull potion or something?”
Kyle perked up. “For real? You can make those?”

This is the part where those "pivotal interactions" start becoming relevant. If you haven't done so yet, this would be the time to read Ardi's backstory to know what's going on. For instance, there's context for why the TV scene and onward occurs on Talsk.
[First] [Prev] [Next]
Memory Transcription Subject: Duali, Independent Contractor Date [standardized human time]: April 21st, 2144
I rinse out whatever residue of hot cocoa mix is left in my mug, and hang it up on the rack next to my sink, letting out a yawn. I head upstairs, brush my teeth, and head to bed.
Then, my holopad starts ringing. I groan, and roll over to silence the call. I have operating hours for a good reason, one that’s not just limited to my cover as an accountant. My work is done by appointments, and whoever that idiot was would be wise to learn that.
Then, my holopad starts ringing again. I shut it up a second time, and internally debate shutting it off. No, I’d miss my alarm. I’ll just block them if they try it again.
And of course, they tried it again. I pull up my holopad with an aggressive annoyance and start to navigate to block the number, before I notice that I have it saved.
“Ardi?” Who is… Oh, right. That Smoked Paws hardass. I haven’t heard from him in a while. I thought he died or something. Either way, he knows I don’t take random middle-of-the-night calls. Whatever, he’s good business, and he already ruined my chances of good sleep. Who am I kidding, I’ve been incapable of good sleep ever since my second fucking instance of waking up to my parents’ assassination attempts. Reluctantly, I answer the call, and clear my throat.
“Hello, this is Fauxfly accounting! How may I assist you at this hour of the night?” I accentuate my point of contention to emphasize my annoyance. He doesn’t seem to care, as I hear deep, hitched breaths through the phone.
“Yeah… it’s a bad hour for me too. These uhh… fucking… tax forms have me in fucking agony. I need a…” He coughs, in an unsettlingly familiar way. “I need a house call, if you can manage it. Full package… these tax forms… were fucking kicking my ass. Need to get them wrapped up.”
“Oh well, I’m sorry to hear that. How many forms do you need help with?”
“Five. I think the ink smeared a bit… too much. Might need help with cleanup.”
“Right… and how are you holding up?”
There’s a pause on his end, before I hear another cough. “Get the fuck over here.”
I’m annoyed at how hard he’s killing the subtlety, but based on how professional he’s been in the past, I give him the benefit of the doubt. There has to be a reason he’s acting this weirdly. I drop the chipper accountant voice. “I’m on my way.”
I hear a sigh of relief from him before hanging up. He was usually a bit of a dick before, so it surprises me a bit, but I guess it cements that I have work to do. I sigh, get out of bed, head downstairs, and pack up the van, taking a quick moment to check the address. I’m out the door within minutes, which I take pride in as a pretty good response time for an off-duty solo service.

-----

The inside and outside of the house couldn’t look more different. One side of the wall is unremarkable suburbia, the other is a glaze of red. Blood, I’ve seen before. I’m fine around blood. The bodies, though… This was not a clean fight. Doing my best to place my steps in dry patches of the floor, I ignore my queasiness as best I can and get to work, walking past the bodies to find where Mr. “Get the fuck over here” is.
“Ardi?”
I wait a moment for a response, and repeat, louder. “Ardi!?”
I hear a cough behind me, from one of the bodies I passed on the way in. Right, I should have recognized the coat. Looking around him, I see his silhouette in the puddle of what’s most likely a culmination of multiple sivkits’ blood, and the holopad he used to call me. That certainly explains the drop in subtlety over the phone. I’m actually impressed he bothered with it at all, in this state. Looks like he passed out right as I hung up.
“Ah… hello, again. I need some uhh… help cleaning this… mess.” He starts to raise himself from his position on the ground, and I see trembling in his movements.
“You look like you need a hospital.”
“What? Yeah the… they got some swings in. We can do that after… I’ll help you with the bodies. You wanna pull the van into the garage? Keep us out of sight, and-”
“‘Do that after?’ You’ve already passed out once. I’d rather have my payday intact.”
“No no, it’s fine. I got to it pretty fast. Come on, let’s clean up before the blood dries any more.” He sounds woozy.
“You’re not thinking straight. You’ve lost a lot of blood. Here, let me-” I pull out my medical bag and grab a syringe of morphine.
“No, really, I’m fine. I have a mop in the closet here, if you didn’t bring one.” He’s recoiling.
“You’re about to die. Sit still.”
I start approaching him, and hear as he lets out whatever other dumbass “manly-man-don’t-need-no-help” bullshit excuses he’s saying, before his speech completely degrades to a point of just… a monotony. A panicked monotony. As I get closer, it ascends to a yell, and he fumbles to the ground. The impact with the ground makes him recoil again, as it undoubtedly agitates his wounds. He’s wailing at this point.
“What the fuck has gotten into you!?”
I watch as he curls up into a ball, in a complete breakdown, with his wails fluctuating in time with his flinches of pain, before fading to a close, as he goes limp. I approach, and see he’s unconscious again. Feeling somewhere between annoyed and confused, I take the opportunity to shoot the morphine into him, right before he jolts awake, and alert.
“Ah, fuck! Who… Oh, hello Duali.” He starts lifting himself from the ground again, seemingly acting completely normal, but I still see his eyes zero in on the syringe for a moment.
“Oh uh… what’s that you shot me up with?”
“Morphine. What the hell was that?”
He looks around himself. “What? Oh, the fight… yeah, my old Smoked Paws buddies w-”
“Not that, I’m talking about you going fucking mental over being tended to.”
“What?”
“Wha- literal seconds ago!? You were screaming at me when I insisted I tend to you before the mess.”
“I… what? Sorry, I don’t remember that. Yeah, do what you have to do, please. I’m holding myself together with tape right now.” As he speaks, he starts taking his coat off to give me access to his wounds, in complete contrast to the panicked mess I just saw.
I sigh. I can deal with the baggage later. “Pull up a stool and start getting that tape off. I have sutures on hand.”
Wordlessly, he complies, heading into his kitchen to grab a stool, as I start unpacking my medical bag. He pulls up the stool in front of me, takes a seat, and starts peeling the tape off, as I suture the wounds close as soon as they’re exposed. Getting a look at them, now I’m not so sure the puddle he was lying in needed the blood of the other sivkits in the room to be so big.

-----

The drive to the safehouse is awkward. Ardi, riding shotgun, keeps dozing off before waking up alert with a sharp inhale every minute or so. After the fifth one, I catch him while he’s awake.
“What the hell happened to you?”
“Hm? I already explained the fight. Need another play-by-play?”
“Not that, the thing with the syringe and all this… panic sleeping you’re doing.”
“I told you I don’t remember what happened with the syringe.”
“Bullshit. Well, I’ll believe that you don’t remember it, but I know you know why it happened.”
“What, were you thrusting it at me threateningly or something?”
“Cut it. Seriously. I need real info if I’m going to be rebuilding your life for you.”
He groans, and hesitates.
“Well?”
It takes a moment for him to respond. “Look, I honestly don’t know what I did, but from the sounds of it, it was extreme. Right?”
“I’d say so. You screamed yourself to sleep.”
“...Right.”
He stops after that.
“So…?”
“...I’m fresh off two years in a facility. I didn’t have a lot of positive experiences with needles in there. I’ve never had an outburst like you’re describing, though. Not one that I remember.”
“Shoot, that explains a lot.”
At this point, I’m just getting more impressed that this guy lasted so long on the phone without begging for help. I’ve seen sadsacks with only six months of facility under their belt come out of there damaged enough to need someone else to do their talking for them. I always had that little spiteful part of me wonder what would happen if a hardass got put through that and I guess I have my answer. This guy has definitely been broken in one way or another. I hide it on my face, but it’s hard not to pity him.
“So, fresh out of a facility, huh? Am I correct in assuming it isn’t because you served your time?”
“Served my…? Right, that Terran justice system. No, they didn’t let me out. The building probably still has embers hot enough to burn as we speak.”
“...You burned the place down? Whu- how many people were in there!?”
“Well, the only ones inside when it went up really toe the line of what is ‘people.’” I hear him grit his teeth as he speaks about the facility staff. “I’m not a monster. You should’ve seen the stampede. You’re welcome for the likely torrent of incoming business, by the way.”
“...Thanks, I guess.” My tone is unamused. “So, what are you looking for? You’re still smart enough to know you should get a new identity after that, right?”
“Yep.”
“Location?”
“Still pinning that down. I know I’m going off-world, though. That relentless rot of an organization won’t take kindly to my little amputation back there.”
“You have such a way with words. Well, ID systems have changed since Tunsas became independent, but there’s still a lot of uniformity between existing factions. PD fugitives aren’t good for feddie holdouts… so, SC or Shield?”
I hear a click to my right, and spare a glance to see that Ardi has pulled out a lighter. “Don’t smoke in here.”
He eyes me for a moment, before his gaze locks to the lighter. “You sound like me with the lackeys. I’m not going to smoke. It just helps me focus.”
“Sure, whatever. SC or Shield?”
After a pause, I hear the lighter snap shut. “SC.”
I silently celebrate in my head, because that’s the easier of the two to work with. “Alright, do me a favor and get all your info on-hand so it’ll be easier to upturn when we get there.”
Wordlessly, he pulls out his holopad to do as I asked, and the rest of the drive is silent from there.

-----

Date [standardized human time]: June 1st, 2144
“I don’t get these human shows, Duali. How come, in every single one, it’s the government guys in the right?”
“They’re cop dramas! It’s the genre!”
“It’s a weird genre. How many of these are there?”
“We’re on… episode seven of ten for this season.”
“No, I mean, how many of these shows are there?”
“Oh, cop dramas? Uhh… I don’t know. Hundreds?”
“Hundreds?”
“Yeah, I think? There’s only so many good ones, though.”
“This is one of the good ones? All the audio is so… bad.”
“Yeah, it’s the tech of the time. This one’s ancient, but it’s a classic.”
“What’s so good about it being a ‘classic?’”
“Alright, so, you know how humans went through that whole phase of ‘finally showing their real culture’ or whatever and so many people were appalled?”
“Yeah?”
“The stuff they get away with in these ancient shows is like… a hundred times as bad. Here, watch, this cop is about to absolutely beat the bejeezus out of that guy.”
“What? That scrawny little guy?”
“Yeah. Ooh, ooh, here it comes!”
The two of us watch as the ancient, half-assed narrative of the show gives some big brawny human cop an excuse to pummel the skinny guy with a blunt object and somehow still be in the right, saying a stupid one-liner, cutting to a panning shot of the scene to roll the credits over.
“Oh, I forgot that part! That word the cop used, there? You’d be flayed on live television if you said that today as a human.”
“Well, yeah, I understood it as a bad obscenity, but humans say ‘fuck’ as often as they catch their breath while speaking. What’s so bad?”
“There’s a racial connotation.”
“Sounds dumb. Are there any of these shows where the cops get shot?”
“Well, yeah. Usually it happens in series made later than this. This is before they were good at special effects for gunshots and stuff. Even then, they usually recover or get a whole story arc for it. If you want cops dying, I’d have to look into another genre or something.”
“Nah, I was just curious. Anyways, are you going to want to watch another?”
Taking a moment to wonder why he’s asking after we’ve been marathoning all day, I take a look at the time. Midday, which means naptime. I guess I lost track of how many episodes we’ve watched. I’m surprised Ardi was the first one between us to say something about it.
“No, yeah, I should get to sleep. You can keep watching if you want, though. I’ve seen this one a bunch of times.” I hand control of the TV off to Ardi, receiving only a noncommittal nonverbal response, and head to my room. Peeking into Ardi’s as compared to mine is like night and day. He has basically nothing in there. It looks tidy, not because he’s obsessively clean or anything, just because he doesn’t have anything to scatter around. I think he only uses one drawer of the dresser the room came with. In contrast, I still have a pile of T-shirts on my chair I need to put away, and it’s only on my chair because I haven’t put away my sewing equipment from the last shirt mod I did, so my desk is occupied, and it’s only not in my dresser because, well, I haven’t folded the shirts yet. I’ll deal with it when I wake up.
I plop down onto my bed and get cozy under the covers. And… I sleep. I sleep. I’m not thinking about… no, I’m sleeping. It’s safe here. No one knows you’re here. You have a trained gunman in the house! Who would mess with you? I’m sleeping soundly.
My eyes jerk open. I can’t keep doing this every night and day. I have a headache from the restlessness. I look over at the bottle of sleeping pills on my nightstand. They don’t work; they just keep me asleep longer when I pass out. I sigh, and get up out of bed. I guess I’ll fold that laundry now.
I grab the pile of shirts from my chair and move it to my bed for a larger surface, and start folding. I’m no more of a fan of chores than the next guy, but it’s kinda fun reminiscing on the music of each band as I’m folding their respective T-shirts. As I move to the more mundane clothing and the string of guitar solos leaves my head, I’m left again with the question of how I’m going to get to sleep.
What was I thinking earlier? About having a gunman in the house?
I listen to the muffled sounds of the cop show still playing in the living room. I guess he actually likes it and wasn’t just watching it to be nice. Is this what friends are like?
We started out here just wanting to split rent until we got on our feet but I think we’re both on our feet now and we don’t care enough to change it. I guess I’ve enjoyed his company, though. His banter can be a bit stiff sometimes but it’s not like he’s condescending. Also, I did save his life that one time. I think I can trust him. It’s worth a shot, anyways.
I head back out to the living room, and see Ardi watching the next episode. I stroll up to the couch, and see him flinch when he catches sight of me. I guess he didn’t see me coming. He regains his composure quickly enough, and addresses me while keeping his eyes on the show.
“So, it was laundry this time?”
“...What?”
“You know, whatever your daily transfixion is that keeps you from sleeping.”
“...Yeah. I was folding laundry. How could you tell?”
“The rollers on the drawers are pretty loud. You might want to grease those if you want to hide all your nefarious laundry-doing.”
“Yeah… Say, do you mind if I nap here?”
“Hm?”
“Yeah, I… still have a large pile of laundry on my bed, and I don’t feel like moving the rest of it.” I wasn’t entirely lying. I did still leave some of the laundry undone.
He eyes me in a way that sorta gives me chills. He’s not doing anything menacing, but I don’t think he bought it. “Sure, go ahead.”
I guess he doesn’t care, at least. “Thanks.”
I lie down on the couch and make myself comfortable, as the sounds of ancient human men yelling at each other sees me off to sleep.

-----

“The pile wasn’t that big.”
Before I’ve even registered that I’ve woken up, Ardi was already addressing me from his spot on the couch. I take a glimpse at the clock. A full four hours, huh.
“Huh?”
“The pile of laundry that was preventing you from using your bed?”
“Yeah, right, that one. I should go deal with that, huh.”
“Duali, it was five shirts. Your kind can’t even use sleeves. You barely do more than bend them in half.”
“Yeah, I know… I was just… really tired.”
“If you were tired, you wouldn’t have moved them from your chair to start folding them.”
How much does this fuckin guy go in my room?
“What does it matter to you, anyways?”
“You lied about it. I’m not offended, but we both know that lies happen for a reason.”
“So?”
“I want to know the reason.”
My first instinct is to not tell him, but he gives me a look. It’s a look that tells me “I know your first instinct is to not tell me.”
I sigh. “I have trouble sleeping at night.”
“This was the middle of the day.”
“Shut up! You know what I mean.”
“Yes, I do. You mean that this isn’t just something that happens with your naps. It’s both times per day.”
His tone and face are completely neutral. He has a tendency to do that. I’m not sure if he notices. I sorta trust him at this point, but if I didn’t, I would be 50/50 about whether he’s trying to help me with this or weaponize it against me. Maybe he’s just being weird about it.
“...So you tried something new.”
I snapped back to the conversation. “...Yes.”
“And it worked?”
I look at the clock again. “...Looks like it.”

-----

“Dude, you look like an idiot.” I watch as Ardi carefully moves a hilariously Farsul-scaled chair through my doorway.
“What? You wanted company.”
“Look, dude, I know the whole ‘seeing right through your bullshit’ is sorta your thing, but when you make it this easy I gotta steal your thunder.”
“What, do you want me to sleep on the floor?”
“No, dumbass. I want you to sleep in a bed. You know, like a person? None of this is subtle. You’re obviously afraid of coming off as creepy or something, but honestly, I think watching over from the corner of the room is going to do more of a job of that than just sleeping in the bed like a normal person.”
Ardi groans and plants the chair on the ground. “Well, great. Now I have to take it back out. You’d better be sure about that, because I’m not ‘looking like an idiot’ again over this.”
[First] [Prev] [Next]

As of the posting of this chapter, I now have just one full, and one mostly finished, chapter left to go before Reddit has caught up to my manuscript. Honestly, I'm not really sure where the story is headed next; My writer's block led to me writing the final chapter of the novel so I could move on from it, so I know where the story ends... But I'm as clueless as all of you about how it will get there. And personally, I'm excited to see it unfold... Especially with what takes place in this chapter and the next.
Up until now it's been merely place-setting for the REAL story. Welcome to the meat of the story, Reddit. Shit's about to get insane.
[First] [Glossary Addendum] [Previous]
[From the Abyss Artisanry, Wolfreach Commercial District, 23rd of Nocun, 5016 TE]

[Boltz]
Darkness... Flickering reality, ever-shifting... The screams of the half-Taken and the un-natural howls and cries of... things, jumping in and out of the places where reality itself wavered...
"GAH!" I shot up in bed, my breath coming in ragged gasps, my heart thundering in my chest. Chit, who had apparently been laying against my shoulder, let out a small cry of alarm as my shoulder suddenly shot past her head. I looked around the room, expecting to see it flickering like an old archive record from the Terran History Archive. But it wasn't... My breathing started to slow, though my heart continued to beat in my chest like a demented war-drum. I'm fine... Reality is fine. Nothing is - I let out a yell and my body jerked away as Chit reached out to touch my arm, before recovering. I looked down at my hands, and was shocked to see them shaking as though I was freezing. Chit laid her hand on my arm again, and this time I didn't flinch. Taking it as a cue, my lover shifted her body to be on my lap, and simply wrapped her arms around me. She hadn't seen what I had... But I was grateful for that. I simply wrapped my own arms around her and gripped her body tight, willing my nerves to settle. What I saw... I could only pray to the Duality that it wouldn't come to pass.
As my lover held me though, instead of my nerves simply calming, my composure slipped, slowly, cracking little by little as it slipped away, until I was crying like a child into my beloved Siren's neck. If it bothered her, she gave no indication of it; She simply held me tight, allowing the tears to flow.

[A Few hours Later...]

[Cewa]
I leapt off of Lan and ran into the workshop, Chit having already unlocked it for me. My Greatwolf companion collided with the door as it was closing, making a crashing noise as his shoulder connected. However, it was then allowed to continue closing, as Chit led me back to the apartment, where Boltz was on the bed, rocking back and forth. I had never seen such terror on his face before, and his eyes looked as though he had been crying. He registered my presence, and asked,
"Reality... Outside... It's not... Not..." He trailed off, shaking his head and rocking himself back and forth once more. I frowned, turning to Chit, and she said,
"All I could get out of him was that he had a nightmare where... Reality was... Flickering? Like the original records from the ship Terrans arrived on." The words sent an icy chill down my spine, and I froze. As I did so, Lan let out a fearful whimper as the mental image leaked across our connection. Seeing my reaction, and giving Lan a worried glance, she asked,
"What is it? What does he mean, reality flickering?" I looked at her, my body feeling hollow, and I replied,
"Obliteration."

[That Lunwatch...]

[Cewa]
I opened my eyes, finding myself in the Cascade. I looked around, and spotted Luunah, watching the universes in their eternal, slow-motion fall in the distance.
"How long do we have?" I asked by way of greeting. He turned to look at me, and frowned.
"What do you mean, Cewa?" He asked, and I growled.
"My Sparkborn, Jakob, woke up last night from a nightmare... Where he saw Khaos Taking a reality. It scared him more than anything I've ever seen.
Luunah fully turned to face me now, and I saw a flicker of concern in his eyes. He walked over to the Observatory, a small, table-like construct with a viewing sphere, he had called it. He gestured to the Observatory and said,
"Show me." Taking a deep breath, I focused on imagining Boltz, and soon enough, a vision appeared of him, sleeping, though his head was twitching left and right. Luunah reached out, and the vision rippled like water, before being replaced by...
"So it's happening again." Luunah said simply, and then looked out at a dark spot on the Cascade. I frowned at him, and he said,
"You must increase your vigilance, Cewa. The first indication of Khaos approaching a reality with Stormbirthed is them receiving visions. The second is the twisting of weak minds. You will find that there are people who will follow Khaos for what it claims to offer them. They will believe it, and follow blindly." I nodded, and Luunah sighed.
"It seems time is running out once more..." He said, and returned to his watching of the Cascade.

[A Cycle Later...]

[Chit'Eiwu]

"... And in other news, rumours have begun to circulate about a new pirate group calling themselves 'The Fingers of Khaotum'. These 'Fingers' have begun to make small time raid attacks on passing freight ships. It is unclear who is leading them or what their ultimate goals are, however-" I turned off the newscast, and sighed. It had taken just three weeks for this group to suddenly start appearing... And I had been one of the victims of their raids. I'd been waiting for a shipment of metals for creating new weapons for sale when the supplier had contacted me to tell me that the courier freighter ship had been attacked and their cargo stolen.
As I was sitting at the table and wondering what was to be the next step, Cewa walked in, and stood near the table. I looked up at him, then froze as I saw the expression on his face. He looked as though he had to inform somebody of their upcoming execution.
"What is it?" I asked, and he sighed.
"The Fingers of Khaotum... Boltz and I have to deploy alongside some Warriors and the CDF to combat them." I blinked, not sure why that would be such a bad thing. The Cluster Defence Force was, after all, a powerful military force.
"The Fingers... Will most likely be able to wield a pale fragment of the power of a Khaosian." He said after a short pause. My heart sank into my stomach; That would mean that only the Kaurine armour that we had developed would protect them.
"I can... I can give you and Boltz a couple of Watches. A week at the most. Make them count... My friend." He said, and gently squeezed my shoulder, a uniquely Terran gesture. I nodded, and he walked out again.

[Seven Watches Later...]

[Boltz]
Resting my elbows on the counter, I ran my face up and down my palms. It had been a hectic week, contacting all of my regular customers, and informing them that I'd be out for a while, and that due to the nature of why I would be absent, I couldn't guarantee my return. The messages also stated that if I was to return, I would look forward to serving their needs once more, but if this was to be our last correspondence, I was honoured that they had chosen From the Abyss Artisanry for their equipment needs. The countdown timer buzzed, indicating that it had finished and was now displaying the "closed" signage, and I straightened, and wearily walked into our apartment and through to the bedroom.
As I rounded the corner however, the weariness melted away; As she had each Lunwatch since Cewa had informed her that we would be deploying, Chit sat on the bed, her body proudly on display as she waited for me. And just as every night before, I couldn't help but grin. It was like she wanted to ensure that our memories had each other's body burned into them in case I didn't return. Not that I was complaining... Though tonight, with it being the last Watch before I deployed, I decided to make it... Special.
Taking a deep breath, I took off and folded each item of clothing with deliberate slowness. First my jacket, which was made of genuine cattle leather, then my shirt, then my shoes where neatly placed beside the door, but out of the way. After that, my pants came off and were folded once, twice, then placed on top of the other two items. My underwear of course, sailed into the washbasket. At last the only thing left to do was reach the bed, at which point things become a bit fuzzy...

[The Next Watch...]

[Cewa]
I knocked on the door to the bedroom of Boltz and Chit's apartment, and I saw an amethyst head raise tiredly from the bed, where both Boltz and Chit were laying together in something of a crumpled mess. Her green eyes gazed at me without focus for a few seconds, before slowly focusing on me, then her head fell back, and she groaned,
"What time is it?" I chuckled, and replied,
"It's about two hours past Solpeak. I figured I'd give you guys almost as much time as possible; We need to be leaving atmo by five." I leaned against the doorframe, and couldn't help but grin as Chit almost lazily hit Boltz with an arm.
It must have been one hell of a Lunwatch they had... Boltz's sandy hair popped up, then turned, and he rolled over to squint at me. I gave an exaggerated wave, and his head dropped, then came back up as he asked,
"Can't delay it?" His words were slightly unclear from drowsiness, and I shook my head.
"Nope, but I deliberately came early in case this very thing happened. Bitterbean?" I replied, and an arm flew up before dropping again. Chuckling as I turned to go into the kitchen, I called out,
"If you're not dressed yet, throw something on; Got a new uniform waiting for you on the ship anyway so that's not an issue." And with that, I strode into the kitchen, knowing from many a visit where the ingredients were. Biterbean granules for the heart of the drink, and an equal amount of sweetcrystal to take the edge off the bitterness. I placed a cup under the receptacle tap, and hit the "bitterbean" button, followed by "type A". The machine scanned the cup, and began to heat up the right amount of water, as set by Boltz, and then walked over to the fridge to grab out a bottle of milk.
As I walked back to the receptacle, the fridge door closing itself without pressure against it doing so, the tap dispensed steaming water until it was about a quarter from the top, before stopping. I pulled the cup out and poured milk until it was just under the lip, paling the color from a dark, almost black, to a muted, muddy brown. Then I took the now empty milk bottle to the reducer and dropped the glass container into it, just as Boltz stumbled out of the room. I noticed however, that he was walking in a slightly awkward way, and chuckled. Definitely a hell of a Lunwatch... Though I couldn't blame him; I was walking the same exact way for the first hour after I woke up. I gestured to the bitterbean, now steaming away on the counter, and he gave me a tired grin.
"Thanks. How long til we gotta be out of atmo?" He asked, and, as I moved out of the way, I replied,
"By five. You've got about two and a half hours to down that and wake up, then we gotta get mobile." He nodded, and grabbed the cup with one hand, lifting it to his lips. He took a sip, and I saw some of the tiredness immediately dissipate from my friend's face.

[Two and a Half Hours Later...]

[Cewa]
I watched in amusement, Aerrin by my side next to the transport shuttle, as Boltz shared one last kiss with Chit before boarding. Aerrin laughed as Boltz finally turned around, jogging over to the shuttle and boarding, his cheeks flushed. I grinned at his expression, which resembled that of a schoolboy who got caught kissing his crush in behind the gymnasium practice mats. Turning to Aerrin, I wrapped my arms around her waist, and said,
"With a bit of luck we'll be back in person in around two weeks." Lifting up one hand, I brushed some hair out of her face, and leaned down to kiss her goodbye, hoping against hope that it wouldn't be our last.
After a few blissful moments though, I had to let go, and reluctantly did so. I stepped back and onto the shuttle ramp, and grabbed onto the overhead stability rail. Aerrin took a few steps back, and I turned towards the pilot, and nodded. The shuttle immediately began ascending, and Aerrin waved, continuing to do so until the shuttle turned away, the side door sliding into place and sealing.
Sighing, I moved to the seating section, and swung myself into one of them beside Boltz. Soon enough, the shuttle rattled as we approached the sound barrier, and then slowly calmed down as the atmosphere around us grew thin. Off to war again, it seems... I thought, and then glanced at Boltz, who had his eyes closed, and teeth clenched. I felt a smile tug at my lips, and added, But at least I'm not alone. I've got the closest thing I've ever had to a sibling here with me.
After a few minutes more of flight, the pilot began speaking into his comms, and I stood up, walking to the cockpit, and taking hold of the handles on the twin seats in the front. The pilot looked around at me, hearing my approach, and said,
"Just received docking clearance, sir." I nodded, and focused my attention ahead of us. Reaching down my connection to Kaelani, I said,
Whereabouts are you, Lan? There was a moment of silence, before he replied,
Approaching the hangar. You're inbound? I nodded, then realised he wouldn't be able to see me do so.
Affirmative; Just a few clicks out. The ship's just come into view, and we're on approach to the hangar area. I caught a flash of the doors to the hangar from the ship interior, and flashed back the sight of the ship we were to serve on.
The Aurora Caelum Procella, was one of a small family of nigh-identical ships. The bow of each, had a sensor array, looking like needles poking out ahead of the massive vessel and the hull was a gunmetal grey aside from a patch displaying the Warrior Emblem: A Kaurine Blade, half Empowered, resting on a metal shield like in the ancient archives Terrans brought with us when we fled wherever we previously called home before the Cluster.
Behind a section of nearly featureless hull, broken only by small lines of dotted windows for the crew quarter areas, sat a series of three large hangars. We were headed for the closest one, but I could also see a set of three visible, and massive, engines a ways behind the last hangar.
From having the systems described to me, I knew there was a fission-fusion duel operation reactor which measured a cube of approximately fifty metres, or about thirty of my roughly one and a half metre height, stacked, in each direction, which provided a number in energy units that I couldn't even remember due to the size of it being impossible for me to grasp at the time.
Alongside this reactor however, were the massive engines of the ship, each of which stretched about twice as far inwards from the nozzles I could see, and with a width of around ten of my height, or just over a metre and a half, the engines would be a most dangerous place to be indeed. Soon enough however, the shuttle docked, and the door popped open with a hiss. Lan sat on the other side, waiting for me.
However, Boltz reached him first, and rubbed the fur between his ears. Over our connection, Lan let out an almost... Terran groan of pleasure, before recovering his composure as Boltz moved on, and saying,
Why does that feel so good? I chuckled as I walked to the door, and hopped down from the shuttle, which this time had not lowered the boarding ramp. Resting a hand on his neck, I shrugged.
"Who knows?" I said aloud, and he stood up to match my stride as we walked to the command bridge.
A few minutes later, we stepped out into a large chamber in the center of the ship, with the walls covered in viewscreens. Lan and I reached the Command Table, and he assumed a bowing position, while I snapped a salute, which consisted of bringing one's arm up as though cradling something to your chest, and clapping your hand to the front of your shoulder, before forming a fist with the same hand and thumping said shoulder. As I did so, the ship's Commander turned from where she had been studying a star chat with one of the navigators, and returned the gesture as she fixed me with a sapphire gaze.
"Ah, Lord Aerrus! Did you have a pleasant flight up?" She asked.

This particular Commander, one Akyra Vikrian, was an Arctus Lepardis, to my great surprise. Her fur was dotted with various patches of black on her silvery coat, with some rings of black enclosing sections of an almost greenish grey color. Her black and white tail swished from side to side for a couple of moments as she spoke, indicating her happiness at seeing me. Her uniform, like the one I would soon don, was a mixed color; The majority of its shape was deep, Lunshade blue, and the hems and collar were a perfect, snow white, though unlike me, her insignia was that of a Blade and shield, with three bars below it, resembling support pillars.
I flashed a grin at her, and nodded, assuming a more relaxed posture.
"Yes, it was slightly bumpy, but that's to expected with a rapid ascent. So, what's the latest?" I asked, stepping down towards the Table, or CT, as we referred to it internally. She pressed a few buttons, and brought up a holographic archive.
"They call themselves the Fingers of Khaotum, though we're not sure yet what their ultimate goal is; They seem to be raiding for supplies right now, though they also leave no survivors behind." She said, bringing up a classified document which contained a report from a recent attack.
"Have the Shadesteppers worked out why they named themselves that?" I asked, stroking my chin thoughtfully, where some facial hair was beginning to develop. She brought up another report in the archive, and paraphrased a summary for me.
"They seem to be a religiously fanatical entity, espousing the virtues of what they call 'The Evershifting Paradise'. Beyond that, Khaotum seems to be their... God?"
I groaned at the words, and her gaze flicked to me.
"What? I've heard of what that sound means from a Terran..." She said. Sighing, I nodded to the door, and said,
"You'll want to follow me. This is... Not something you want to burden the crew here with. Bad enough that leadership members need to know." One of the Terran crewmembers turned to look at me, a frown on his face. Anticipating the question in his eyes, I said to him,
"This is something you would rather not know. If you knew the nature of the force behind these raiders, the lack of sleep would kill you." His face paled, and he nodded.
"Don't worry, crewman; Anything that won't adversely affect you simply by knowing, I will tell you. Anything that will... Well, that's my burden to bear." I added, and rested a hand on his shoulder. I smiled inwardly as the relief washed over his face.
Then I turned and led Akyra out of the bridge, and down to the Cerebis chamber of the ship. Cerebis chambers were a kind of mental projection theatre, used for primarily interrogation techniques, where a person merely thinking about something will project it. As we passed the med bay, I asked Akyra to wait for a moment and walked in, finding a medical assistant on her commpad. She looked up and then rapidly stood and saluted, but I waved a hand.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to report you for that. Do you have any spare bodily waste disposal bags? Specifically I need one with a reverse filter." The assistant nodded, and grabbed one out.
"Using the Cerebis chamber?" She asked, and I nodded.
"Need to show the Commander something... And I don't think she will handle it well." The assistant's face paled slightly, and I allowed myself a grim smile. She shakily sat down again, and I returned to Akyra, handing her the bag.
"You may need this for what I'll be showing you." I said.
[Next: The Fingers of Khaotum]

As always, thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for the wonderful universe that is NoP! Thank you to u/cruisingNWfor proof reading and helping me make this chapter as good as it can be, you're the man! Honestly LoM wouldn't have gone very far without him! If you haven't you should absolutely go read Foundations of Humanity! It's very good! :D
A big thanks to u/Saint-Andros for helping with proofreading! He writes Out of Our Elements which is a very good one! If you like a good fic in the wilderness and a pair of cute 'friends' ;) you'll love OOE!
Also thank you to u/brotanics! For this wonderful fanart of Taisa. And this one! She's so cute I'm gonna die
And thank you to u/Jimdandy117! For this adorable fanart of Chris and Renkel! Dear god help he's adorable I love him so much
Thank you u/SlimyRage, or AsciiSquid on Discord, for makin' Vengineer Taisa Gamin'. She's absolutely adorable, I love her lil' workers apron. She looks so excited to get to work!
Thank you u/Braquen! For this astounding Pixel Art of Taisa after a few range day dates with Chris! Her little hat and gunbelt are absolutely astounding!
Thank you u/VeryUnluckyDice! For this Artwork of Taisa and Chris as characters from One Piece! I've never seen or read it before but it's incredibly cute!
Thank you to u/creditmission for their wonderful work of several LoM fanfics!
First Prev. Next
---
Memory Transcription Subject: Taikel, Venlil Farmer, Venlil-Human Exchange Host
Date [Standardized Human Time]: October 18th, 2136
Polani guide her light… please.
My heart hurt as I awoke to the familiar clatter of the window’s auto blinds snapping me to consciousness, rousing me from my sleep as golden twilight rays filled the room, forcing me to follow through. Everything felt tighter, stiffer, more painful as I slowly rose upright, my paws finding and pressing into the tension at the base of my neck, my eyes squeezing shut as I did everything I could to push past the tide of reality falling on my shoulders.
Rensa laid at my side while her occasional muffled beep drifted from her as she was lost in whatever dreams her medicine had brought to her mind this time. She’d cried into my shoulder when she’d broken from them after the accident, wailing about the horrid events and images she’d been forced to endure, or relive, in the nights of her dreams. All I could hope was that her stillness was a good sign that she wasn’t haunted by those horrors again; old, or new.
The heavy weight hanging on my eyelids beckoned me to give in, to turn over and bury myself back into the covers, to hide from the thought of what we’d los-
No. Not yet.
The thought of losing them. The UN hadn’t confirmed anything and wouldn’t for a few more paws - or ever, Stars willing - but Taisa’s silence set ice in my veins. Until then, I had to push forward to help Rensa and to keep Renkel’s spirits up. Even if it meant I’d have an even farther fall.
And if they are gone, they wouldn’t want you to sit and rot away in bed. Keep everything together, gray coat, for them-
A tight, high whimper from my love, my life beside me all but shattered my heart.
And for her.
I leaned over, gently licking Rensa’s cheek before tucking the blankets a little tighter around her and slipping myself free from beneath their enticing embrace. I wasn’t entirely alright; wouldn’t be until I knew, for better or worse. Until then… Until then I’d do everything I could to make them proud.
The wood beneath my paws let out a long, sighing creak as I rose from the bed, pushing myself out into the hall before gently sliding the door closed behind me. This waking, for Renkel at least, would be no different than any other waking he had off from school. Not if I had anything to say about it.
The stairs were silent as I descended, turning into the open living room and staring at the hearth for a long moment, doing my best to keep my attention off of Chris’ empty room and onto the task at hand. I let out a long sigh, flapping my ears to try and batter the thoughts away as I padded into the kitchen. Warm pops and wet hisses of my cooking soon filled the air as I set about making first-meal with a hearty helping of Human vegetables.
Before I knew it the soft click-clack of pup-claws sounded from the stairs as Renkel followed his tongue to find a steaming bowl of scramble waiting for him.
“Good waking, Rekan.” I whistled, doing my best to shear the melancholy from my voice as he clambered up into his seat, clutching one of his Human ‘Animal Encyclopedias’ close to his chest. “How was your rest?”
“Good! I dream’d’d of fishies!” He exclaimed before thumping the book on the table and flicking it open to a page with the dull, speckled flanks of some massive fish that dwarfed the Human swimming next to it. “That one! It’s my favorite!”
A small titter of amusement slipped from my snout at the fickleness of a pup’s interests. “Oh really now? I thought you said the Manta Ray was your favorite!”
“Muh-uh! Whale sharks is way cooler! Look how big it is! And it swims around with its mouth open like the manta but way bigger!” Renkel groaned, tossing his arms as wide as his maw in imitation of the gargantuan fish.
“Well you’ll have to tell me all about them!” I whistled in return, serving myself a steaming bowl of the mix before knocking the heat down to keep it warm for Rensa… whenever she woke up.
“What’s wrong, Papa?” >Alright?< My son asked with his, curious, worried eyes staring up at me past the wisps of steam drifting from his food. “Is Mama ok?”
“She’s… She’s alright, son. Her leg’s hurting her a lot lately. Everything going on has got her real worried, is all.” >Everything Fine.< I answered, my voice sounding far more sure of the words than I felt as I paused for a moment. >Eat Up!<
His attention hung on me for a few moments longer before he let out a happy, satisfied beep and launched into an explanation of everything he found interesting about these ‘Whale Sharks’, only pausing to breathe and stuff whole skewers of vegetables into his mouth. The enthusiasm of a pup never did fail to amaze, and Renkel certainly had enough to go around! Our bowls were soon finished and empty, but Renkel kept going, happily whistling on about how their gills worked and how their coloring was to protect them from predators. Before long the dishes were cleared and in the sink, all except for one.
She needs to eat.
“Tell ya what, Rekan, you find yourself a few more facts and you can teach me even more about them after I give your Mama her first-meal. How’s that sound?”
“More fishie facts!” He exclaimed with glee, his paws in the air as he rocked back in his chair before plunging straight back into his book. My paw slipped beneath his bowl, scooping a fresh serving into it before gently nuzzling the studious pup’s crown on my way to the stairs. His happy whistles faded as I plodded up the old wooden steps, stopping for a moment at the door to mine and Rensa’s room, my paw hovering above the door-slide as I listened for any sign that she’d stirred.
I didn’t hear any.
The door whined as I gently slid the door aside and found her awake, staring at her cupped paws with a vacant expression. Her ears swung in my direction as I stepped in, only for a moment, while I did my best to keep my voice positive as I approached with food in paw. “Good Waking, Sweetheart.”
A small, grumbled ‘Good Waking, Love’ was all she could muster for me as she stared at the black bead cradled in her paw.
So soon?
“Your leg feeling any better?” I whispered as I set the bowl of scramble and glass of water on the bedside before gently taking my place at her side.
“Not really.” She hissed, her voice distant as an unladen paw kneaded at the border of her wool and the leg’s interface plate, squeezing her eyes shut and drawing in a long breath before shaking her head, her tail bobbing a succinct >Not at all.<
“Maybe some food will help.” I whispered, gently trading the bead for her bowl and skewer and setting it on the bedside before softly pressing my snout to her’s.
She was quiet, staring into her food for a long moment, her eyes puffy and orange. >Don’t think so. Gone.<
Tears pooled at the corner of my eyes, burning like firefruit oil as I twined my tail around what little of hers hung over the side of the bed, squeezing tight as I could to ground my wife to what of this world, of our family, we had left. Her paws moved, slowly poking the skewer into the food before raising it to her mouth, and then again and again before the bowl and glass were empty.
“I…” Rensa let out a small sigh, setting the bowl on the old bedside with a loud clunk before her tail squeezed, weakly, back into mine. “Th-Thank you, Love.”
“It’s ok, Sweetheart.” I replied, leaning into her side and soaking in the silence that stifled the space between us. She sucked in a pained gasp as her free paw found its way back to the remains of her leg, clutching the wool tight. “W-Were the meds helping any, last paw?”
>Yes.< Her tail flicked slowly, almost reluctantly as I watched tears gather in the folds of her squinted eyes.
I rose, gently nuzzling her crown with a forlorn mewl before guiding her paw back to mine for a moment, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be right back.”
I hate to see her like this, more than I hate seeing her drifting a while. At least then she’s not crying from the pain. Not suffering…
I rushed to the bathroom, ripping open the closet and retrieved the damned bottle. A single pill tumbled into my paw, the remainder clacking noisily against the sides as I slipped them back into the box they had been stowed in. The little tan capsule churned my stomach as I looked down at it, horrid memories sprouting in my mind. The memories of the paw of the accident and the herds after it where she was despondent, from the pills and the loss of her career.
If those two are gone…
My tail shuddered, trying to shake the creeping vines of despair free from my heart at the thought before I drew in a deep breath, steeling myself and stepping back into the bedroom. Rensa stared up at me as I approached, her eyes filled with worry as I settled back down on the bed beside her, holding the pill out on my paw. She hesitated, her tail curling as her attention slid from me down to the proffered pill before her eyes squeezed shut and her paw seized as hard as her leg, digging her claws into her pads with a low, pained mewl.
“Please, Sweetheart…” I trailed off, my paw sliding over hers to try and calm her squeezing claws from hurting herself further. I’d seen her draw her own blood far too many times.
A soft gasp sucked into her mouth as she leaned forward, wrapping her paws around me with a stifled cry before accepting the pill and downing it with a sip from her glass. “I-I’m sorry, Love.”
“It’s ok, Sweetheart.” I soothed, pulling her close to me as I ran my paws through her wool, doing my best to drive the sorrow burrowing in my heart away. “It’s ok…”
Her sobs began to fade as the medicine took hold, her arms slackening around me a little before she let out a harrowingly familiar, relieved sigh. “Thhhank you, Taikel…”
I couldn’t bring myself to answer in kind as I pulled her closer, fighting away the tears pooling at the corners of my eyes. Instead I settled on easing her back on the bed before gently nuzzling her snout, receiving a passive mumble of acknowledgement as I stood from the bedside, stopping to stare down at the black bead on the bedside, quietly pawing it before I padded through the door to the upper landing. I paused. Took a breath. And another. Willing myself to stifle the rattle in my throat before I faced my son again. There was little more I could do for her right now; at least the meds might let her sleep for a while longer.
The stairs beneath my paws clicked and creaked between the amazed whistles and beeps of Renkel still at the island meeting my ears; most certainly still enamored with his book. Quietly I found my way to the hearth, doing my best not to alert the pup as I gently opened the Heartwood box Rensa and I had made when we’d married, staring down into the void-black padding at the singular circle of white, Amarek wood at its center.
When we’d made it her father had insisted that, according to tradition, this was where it was meant to be, in the middle of everything else in your life. That the chest that held your darkest days should live with the rest of your joy until it would in turn join the others in the tapestry of your life.
We’d only ever used one since we’d married… I had hoped we wouldn’t need anot-
No. Not until you know.
My ears battered away the despair sprouting in my chest as the bead slipped into place, standing in stark contrast to the brilliant wood encircling it like an eye peering back up at me while the lid slowly closed over it, shielding the burrow from the pain it held. I pulled in a quiet breath before turning, squeezing my eyes shut again to hold back the tears I knew were just one bad assumption, one errant thought, one horrid message away from spilling forth.
The pup whirled around as I stepped behind him, peering over his shoulder to see what new tidbits of information he was foraging for this time. A new picture of the massive fish was spread across the page, this one taken from above the water looking over the side of some vessel staring down at the animal through glimmering, crystal clear waters.
“I wonder if Chris has ever seen a whale shark! That’d be so cool!” Renkel exclaimed, his tail zipping back and forth excitedly as he tapped at the page. “I bet he’s been all over the carry-bean!”
A pang of grief flashed through my heart at the mention of the missing pair, the feeling festering for a long, gut wrenching moment before I whispered to him over his shoulder. “I’ll bet he has, son, and I bet he’ll be happy to tell you all about it when they get back!”
Then if they c- When. WHEN they come home, I’m going to give them both ears so full the stars above will hear everything I’ve got to say.
And then some.
---
Memory Transcription Subject: Taisa, Venlil Starship Engineer, Crystal Star Shipping Co-Owner
Date [Standardized Human Time]: October 19th, 2136
Another paw of sun-scorched hell. Stars, I hope Mama and Papa are alright….
The pad in my paws was still harrowingly silent as I gazed down at the screen, a trail of my own messages dotting their way up the screen had gone unanswered these last two paws. Letting them know that we’d made it out safe, what we’d been doing, when I thought we’d be home…
Polani shook and shuddered as Chris brought her around again, shaking me from my thoughts as we passed over charred, smoldering tracts of forests on the eastern side of the crash site that looked like little more than blasted ashen sticks. It’d been a sleepless night as we rushed to help quench the fire the Glorious Pyre and the Twilight Star’s drives set when they’d crashed. The U.N. had leapt to invoke our contract again, putting us to work shuttling material, equipment and water to put out the inferno that threatened Chris’ home and the surrounding areas. Thankfully they hadn’t sent any Arxur for us to shuttle!
The fact that they were here. That they were helping. That they’d even showed up to Humanity’s defense in the first place was… it was unthinkable!
Every stray glance I was forced to see them, every plodding step they took, every reverberating growl of their horrid language and every time I caught one of them staring at me like I was little more than a cut of meat to hunt, to chase, to toy with… Sent shivers down my spine and out my tail.
I hated it.
Hated them.
Hated what I’d seen them do on the Cradle, what one of them had done to me. What one of them had made Chris do to protect me. Hated what they’d made us have to see, hear, and live through. It didn’t matter what they were here for, it bought no good will of mine. Chris promised to protect me again if we got assigned to moving any of them, that he’d happily put another bullet in one of them before chancing the possibility of losing someone else.
Annabelle.
He, and the rest of his family, were still holding out hope that they’d find her and the rest of her bunker beneath what little was left of what had been the outskirts of London. I wanted to be hopeful with them, to pray and call and beg to every star I could see, every star I could name for her to have been spared but… but the pictures didn’t look good. The scattered rubble that had once been so many Human cities left the bitter taste of bile and sorrow in my mouth as I thought about the millions of lives the federation I’d once believed in had snuffed out in a flash.
The monsters I’d once championed had tried to take everything from Chris, from his Family, from all of us. From Me. They’d stolen parents from their children, shattered families, people, communities and cultures that they’d turned to ash in the wake of their failure. So much gone, so much destroyed, so much lost, so much taken.
Taken.
Because of their fear. Because of their hatred. Because of their cowardice.
Because of their weakness.
“At least the fires are out.” Chris sighed, the long, forlorn sound gently pulling me from the anger simmering in my chest. “Ma, Pa, an’ Ryan’ll be alright, so long’s the Peacekeepers actually do their job with trackin’ down those… stragglers.”
“Let them burn or let them rot for all I care.” I grumbled, staring out the viewscreen down at the devastated countryside below; images of Chris’ family, tears in their eyes as they huddled around their TV looking for any information they could find about Annabelle. “It’s the least they’d wanted to do to us.”
“‘Much as they fuckin’ deserve it…” His voice cracked as a flash of concern passed over his face while he glanced over at me, hesitating for a moment before responding. “Probably for the best we don’t reinforce what everyone the arm over already thinks of us.”
>Fair.<
“‘Specially not the new friends we picked up, doubt the Zurulians would be particularly big fans of Humans doing… that to prisoners.” He sighed, righting Polani from her bank before guiding her nose around, across the horizon, and back towards Blacksburg, the hum of her thrusters building to a mournful, crackling wail as they pushed us onward. “For now though, let's get some food in us; Ma’s bound to have something good.”
My tail twitched at the idea of a belly full of Darlene’s wonderful red beans and rice to try and take my worried mind off of the world of ash and fire smoldering around us as a meek mewl slipped from my mouth. “Thank you, Love.”
I swear to the stars above:
I’ll get even for what they’ve done.
[Advance Transcription by Time Unit: 1.5 Hours]
The comfortingly warm weight of Darlene’s cooking settled in my stomach as I sunk back into the chair, my tail wrapped tight around Chris’ leg. Darlene stared through the window out at the pasture beyond, passively scrubbing grime and grit away from the white pot in her hands as the sound of running water filled the air.
“Where’s Ryan now?” Chris grumbled as he scooped another mouthful of meat, beans and rice from his bowl.
“Out ‘helping’ ‘gain.” Darlene sighed, setting the pot on her drying rack with a ringing clang as she turned to point a wooden spoon at an empty plaque on the wall. “At least Cobb’s gon’ go out with ‘im.”
“Boy went out an’ got hisself hurt on ‘nother planet and now he’s damned well set to go on ‘n get hurt again on this’n.” Michael grunted, anger in his voice as he flicked through article after article on the pad sitting on the counter in front of him. “‘Tween those fire-crazy exterminators and these god-damned lizards I ‘on’t find myself thinkin’ this shit’s hardly a good idea.”
“Pa’, come on, you know how he fe-” Chris started, swallowing his food as he leaned forward over the counter, his response cut short by the ringing chimes sounding out from both of our pads.
TO: CRYSTAL STAR SHIPPING
FROM: THOMAS ASHFORTH
NORFOLK AID PICKUP
Your services are required to move the personnel and material listed in the attached manifest from the subject port to the following aid sites:
U.N. COALITION NEW YORK AID AND RESCUE CAMP - 06
U.N. COALITION NEW YORK AID AND RESCUE CAMP - 11
U.N. COALITION NEW YORK AID AND RESCUE CAMP - 14
Thank you,
Thomas Ashforth
U.N. Logistics Coordinator
A manifest was attached, listing off everything from pallets of food, medical supplies, material for expanding the aid camps, a pawful of Zurulians and U.N. staff an-
Oh Stars.
My blood ran cold as my tail tightened around Chris’ ankle, a small, weak, terrified mewl weeping from my snout at the sight of the final thing on the list.
Arxur Volunteers.
A low growl built at my side as Chris stared down at his pad, his fists tightening around the pad until his knuckles were white with the strain. “Rat fucking bastards.”
>We have to.<
He nodded, his mouth tight with anger as the scrape of his stool sounded across the room while he rose to his feet. His hair tossed about as he shook his head, doing his best to drive off whatever thoughts were raging behind his eyes as he looked over to me, gently slipping his leg free from my tail before he marched to his room, Roscoe’s wagging tail close at his side. The comforting, familiar thump of his boots on hardwood marked his return just as fast as he’d left, the glint of his pistol holstered across his chest and the soft shine of the rifle hanging from his shoulder telling me everything I needed to know.
“Together?”
“Together.”
---
Memory Transcription Subject: Rensa, Venlil Farmer & Ex-Exterminator, Venlil-Human Exchange Host
Date [Standardized Human Time]: October 20th, 2136
Fire’s gone. Pain. Gone. Daughter. Taisa. Gone.
My mind swam as I stared at the stars high above the Warren, drifting in a sea of white, black, and gray, feeling little but the chill of the glass of gin resting in my paw alongside the whispering cold of twilight’s winds. The occasional drift of odd colors floated through the air, harvesting my attention from the morass of nothing that had filled this paw and the one before it. Warbling sound filled my ear, vibrating the left side of my vision and sending new waves of kaleidoscopic colors across the sky.
I was hallucinating again. It’d been a while.
Dr. Poreth had told me a long time ago not to mix; it hadn’t stopped me then and it certainly couldn’t stop me now. Besides, they were a far better distraction than anything else I had right now. So instead I sit and stare at the sky, watching the pretty colors.
They were just as real as anything else.
A tide of messages from Taisa had bolted through my pad early this waking, from before the bombing. Each one the last I’d ever hear from her. The last words I’d ever see from my darling daughter. Renkel still didn’t understand, the pup happily chirping away about when they’d be back, about his next paw at school and about going with Taikel to one of the shelters in a claw or so to try and help ‘keep their spirits up’. Through the haze I envied him, wishing and pleading to Polani that I could have that same youthful hope.
Even if it would just be cut down by the scythe of the real world.
The glass in my paws slips away as the wavering rays of the sun are blocked, quickly replaced by another, and a soft nuzzle on my crown. Taikel’s wavering voice floated across my ears, still filled with mournful sorrow. I can’t make out the words but Renkel’s upbeat whistles tell me enough; they’re off to the shelter.
Barely seems worth it with them gone.
I weakly return the nuzzle, barely leaving my chair with my leg feeling like little more than juicefruit pulp as Taikel’s shadow slips past me, Renkel asking something I can’t quite make out past the fog.
So strong, stronger than me.
The rumble of the truck’s engine shuddering to life sends waves of green across my vision, accompanied by the crunch of gravel following after it before it fades into the distant hum of tires on the road. Alone again. The fog falls back in around me, stifling the sounds of nature that had begun to creep in at the edges of my mind. I sink again, staring up at the sky, watching the drifting colors and clouds as I sip at the liquid fire in my glass.
At least it helped smother the fire eating my leg and dull the storm in my mind.
The sound of my pad letting out a painfully familiar chime on the table split the air, stirring me from my stupor to clumsily paw at it to go silent. The offending sound faded, replaced by the isolating silence that I’d craved; at least in it I didn’t have to think about what I’d lost.
About the tricks my mind was playing on me.
A long, deliberate sigh fell from my snout as I pressed my paw into the thready wool near the stump that’d once been my leg, trying to push the pain away as best I could before reaching, once again, for my gin. Before my paw met the star-slicked glass flanks my pad bleated out the same, mocking chime.
A growl built in my throat as I grasped at it, angrily hurling the offending electronic phantom what few tails my numb shoulder could manage.
Another trick of my mind
Another message from Taisa’s ghost.
Another claim that the Arxur were ‘helping’ them.
Another promise of them coming home when they were done.
Another mote of hope sprouted before being ripped from my grasp.
Another paw of despair.
Another river of tears.
Another dose.
---
First Prev. Next

Hi all. I’ve been feeling unwell this week, nothing more than a heavy cold but I’ve been having severe headaches and a sick tummy. Yesterday I spent a lot of time in bed napping, and I kept getting dizzy spells while lying down, similar to what I felt at the beginning of seizures I’ve had in bed before. It’s difficult to describe, but it’s like as though my body is folding in on itself, but comes across as dizziness. I luckily haven’t had a seizure in a few years, but because it happened multiple times yesterday, I’m worried something is oncoming. But I know it could just be because I have this cold/flu. Has anybody experienced this? I’m feeling quite anxious, which also isn’t helping!! Thanks

I've been away from home since 2015 for education, and later on for work.
I've been home only a few times because the more time passes, the more I feel alienated in my own house. And so home felt always uneasy and simple misunderstandings always make me cry. Without anyone to run to, I ended up running away and staying away for that.
Recently, we found out my mom got the big C, and it caused me to pause my work to take care of her. Unfortunately it also means I have to be home.
While being home, I've expressed how I'm uncomfortable in our living situation. That I don't feel like I had space at home and everything is a mess that sometimes I get so frustrated I can't breath.
We ended up agreeing to throw away their old books, shoes and clothes among other stuff. Because mom recently had surgery, I told her to take a seat and just take things slow, I just need to have my own space and anything unusable thrown out helps. She then complained that she doesn't wanna throw her clothes, and I said that it's fine as long as she still use everything.
In the middle of cleaning, my brother showed up to visit ma, and mom complained again that I don't have to throw things out. I raised my voice and told her the house is a mess and just don't throw things that she knows she use but fucking throw all the trash she knows she don't use anymore.
I was going up and down the stairs because I was also decluttering my old clothes I no longer fit in. Mom then said with tears in her eyes she wants to go back (to the place they're staying at) with dad because she can't breath. I told her it's the heat, and stay in the only room with electric fan and wait for dad to finish. She didn't listen and went to the back of the house instead to wipe tears in her eyes. I told her it's very stuffy there and go to the room with ventilation. This time she listened.
While I was folding my clothes to store in sacks, she went to the bathroom and suddenly yelled. My brother looked at me, shaming and blaming me for whatever is happening with ma. We then ran to the bathroom and I asked mama what's wrong, she said, "Yung bowl kasi ang baba, nagulat ako,"
Pero grabi na ang iyak niya nun. I asked her what's wrong and she wouldn't respond and asked me to go away. After a couple more tries to know what's wrong, I just left. Then my borther ended up yelling at me because I'm shouting and cursing (curses has been in my vocab, and most times it's not an insult it's to help me express myself better)at them, and why was I forcing them to go away from their home (which again, all I want was space for my own after many years).
But instead of listening on my end ako ang villian sa story kasi ako ang healthy at si mama ang may sakit and I should be better.
After the whole debacle, I ended up telling mom I'm going away and go back to work, I'm leaving them and they should learn to do the things I do on their own, she ended up giving me 30k para daw sa "pagtatatrabho" taking care of her.
I was still with her until June 1, kasi saka pa ako babalik ng work. And yesterday, I was sitting down on the outer edge of the bed and she laid down beside me. Eh ayoko ng feeling ng paa niya sa paa ko so I was telling her to move. She was in the middle of the call so I ended up pushing her leg behind me to signal na pinapa-move ko siya. She was starting to roll so akala ko gagalaw na siya pero sumigaw siya kay dad na nao-ocho na raw siya. Tumawa lang ako, and let go of her foot. Then she moved her leg again, and so I grabbed her cane and tapped on her belly.
I know what I was doing I wanted to tap her to move. While I was tapping her, she would slap and pull the cane which would cause the cane to bang on the metal bed frame. I guess that scared her because soon as I was tapping her, sumisigaw na siya na parang sinasaktan ko siya. I know hindi masakit because she's not sensitive to pain and everytime magche-change ako ng dressing wala siya nararamdaman na pain. And I know how soft I was tapping her.
We ended up arguing kasi binubugbog ko raw siya ng tungkod niya. And I wanted to defend myself kasi nakakahiya sa kapitbahay, baka akalain inaabuso ko mama ko dito. But she ended up calling me a liar, a sadist. Na gusto ko raw siyang saktan, na wala raw akong modo, ang bastos ko raw.
Hala. Putang ina. Literal.
I tried to defend myself, explain everything pero ayaw niya talaga maniwala. Umiiyak na siya kasi paano ba raw ako pinalaki, na maayos daw pagpapalaki niya sa akin.
After repeatedly not being heard, understood and repeatedly being accused of BS, I told her I won't apologize over what I did, because I know what happened.
My birthday is soon but I won't be home because I'd rather be working than spend it with my family. She knows this, I told her. And so before she went home earlier today, she secretly placed 10k on my wallter with a note na pang birthday ko raw yun and samahan ko raw siya sa onco niya by 11.
Putang ina, ganito ba pakiramdam ng prosti? Prosti but make it emotional? Haha. Pisti di ako masaya. Sana umalis na siya ng walay pasabi, walang pahabilin. Aanhin ko naman tong pera kung I'm either misunderstood or villainized. Na kahit pagtanggal ko ng dressing na sadya ko raw siyang sinasaktan (kasi nasusugutan siya and sensitive din siya sa adhesives like me).
Puta. Sana makuha na ako sa VA work na inaaplyan ko, I wanna fucking run away. Yoko na mabuhay kasama sila.

After the Great Crusade, the Warhawk of Chogoris returned to her home with her Whirlwind. The sun shone through the windows of the Yurt, the navigator’s eyes opened as she heard the sound of her beloved revving her jetbike. It was their first day back from the Crusade but it didn’t surprise her that Alakhai was already raring to go. The navigator exits the Yurt.
Whirlwind: Beloved, it’s too early to go hunting. Comeback to bed.
Her eyes squint as she adjusts to the brightness. Alakhai Khatun was already fully dressed as she smiled at her beloved.
Alakhai: Wind beneath my wings, today is not a day for hunting, I’ve got a surprise for you.
Whirlwind: A surprise? And it isn’t your first kill?
Alakhai: You will see.
Alakhai hands her a blindfold, she blindfolded herself and was guided onto the jetbike. The trip to wherever they were going was swift as always, she could hear the chuckle in Alakhai’s throat over the roar of the engine. When the jetbike stopped she was picked up and set down on…sand? She removed the blind fold and was greeted with an ocean view.
Whirlwind: Puuwai, it’s beautiful.
Alakhai: I’m glad you like it, Hairaa.
Alakhai bends down to plant a kiss on her beloved's cheek only for the navigator to steal a kiss on the lips.
Whirlwind: Thank you U’i. I have been feeling rather homesick.
Alakhai simply smiled and said nothing else, she didn’t need to. The navigator knew her Warhawk was a woman of few words, her expression said it all. They look at the horizon, a shimmering blue expanse stretched over the horizon.
Whirlwind: are you sad beloved? The hunt is over.
Alakhai: [laughs boisterously]. The hunt is never over my whirlwind. We have taken back our worlds but the enemy is out there, and I will relish the day they cross our borders.
Alakhai holds her beloved close, she grew to enjoy the thrill of the hunt and battle. But she also enjoyed the peace among the stars that they fought so hard for. The hunt never ends, but today is a day for her and her whirlwind.

l Part I l Part II l
At All Out, the AEW World Champion Will Ospreay completed his first successful title defense against the former champion & self proclaimed ace of All Elite Wrestling, Jon Moxley, there and by solidifying himself as the top man in the company. Coming off of one of the biggest wins of his career, Ospreay looks to build on his winning streak and ideally continue a lengthy title reign. However, Moxley wasn’t the only man gunning for Ospreay’s title, and now that Will holds the top prize, everyone else in the company will surely be gunning for him.
Road to WrestleDream
Shortly after All Out, AEW holds their annual television special, AEW: Grand Slam, live at Arthur Ashe Stadium in Queens, New York. Kicking off the show, a Casino Battle Royale is held to determine a new no. 1 contender for Will Ospreay’s World Championship, which is won by Swerve Strickland. Later on in the evening, in the show’s main event, Ospreay defeats “the Bastard” PAC in an AEW World Championship Eliminator match. Just after the match, Swerve Strickland rushes out to the ring and attacks Ospreay from behind, laying him out in the center of the ring and stealing the physical AEW Championship belt before being chased off by Aussie Open. Following the attack, it is announced that Ospreay will officially defend his title against Strickland at WrestleDream on October 12th in Tacoma, Washington. On Dynamite the following week, Strickland comes out to the ring along with Prince Nana, still in possession of the AEW Championship belt, to be interviewed by Tony Schiavone to explain his actions. During the interview, Swerve states the following:
“Tony, you wanna know why I attacked Will Ospreay? You wanna know why I took this title. It’s all real simple. Will Ospreay took what was rightfully mine. I’m just taking it back. You see, this title really belongs to me. I earned the right to call myself AEW World Champion when I beat Samoa Joe for it at AEW Dynasty this past April. And I’ll never forget that night. It was one of the proudest moments of my life. I had the entire crowd behind me. Chanting you deserve it. It was perfect. I thought I was going to be champion forever. I thought I was going to go on the run of a lifetime…. But then at Forbidden Door, my old friend Brian Cage fucked me over. He cost me my match against Jon Moxley and this title. The thing I damn near put my body through hell to get was just gone and I never even got a rematch for it. Moxley took off and ran away to Japan, and I remember storming into Tony Khan’s office ready to burn this company to the ground. I was so mad but TK told me to wait because he promised me I’d get another shot as soon as he got back. So I waited. I took that time off to deal with Cage and the rest of those traitors I used to run with. And fast forward to All In and I got another shot at MY title… but Will Ospreay… AEW’s new golden boy. You snuck in there and you took what was rightfully mine. You stole my property. You stole the only thing in this world that I really care about. So last week when I became number 1 contender and TK told me in one month I’d get another shot, I decided I was tired of waiting. Because real champs don’t wait. Real champs take what's theirs. So Will, if you’re watching this, just know it’s nothing personal. I’m just putting things right.”
As Swerve stops speaking, Ospreay’s music starts to blast through the arena and the Aerial Assassin appears at the top of the entrance ramp with a steel chair in hand. He charges down towards the ring and slides in, looking to take out Swerve with a headshot. Strickland ducks out of the way at the last moment, and slides out of the ring, holding on tight to the AEW Championship belt before him and Prince Nana make an escape through the crowd. As the two of them retreat, Ospreay picks up the microphone and calls them out:
“Hey Swerve, you call yourself a real champion, huh bruv? A real champion doesn’t cut and run like a damn coward when someone like me comes looking for a fight. I don’t give a shit what kind of lies you tell yourself. I won that title at All In by pinning your ass to the mat, so you’ve got no damn right to steal my title from me. Keep running around with my belt as long as you want. I promise you that one day soon, I will catch you. And when I do, I’ll kick your ass so hard, I’ll send you running back to NXT.”
In the lead up to WrestleDream, Ospreay continues to wrestle and pick up wins on a weekly basis on Dynamite and Collision, both in singles action and in trios action, teaming with Aussie Open. Swerve and Prince Nana continue to taunt Will as the weeks go on, either watching his matches from backstage or from luxury suites in the arenas. Swerve also picks up several wins in the lead up to WrestleDream, and on the go home show, he defeats Kyle Fletcher in singles action, picking up momentum heading into his official title match.
AEW: WrestleDream - 10/12/2024
Following their weeks of build up, Will Ospreay finally meets Swerve Strickland one on one in the ring to defend his AEW World Championship and hopefully end their newly formed feud quickly. For the evening’s main event, Swerve makes his entrance first, still in possession of the physical AEW Championship belt, which he displays proudly around his waist, while the champion Ospreay makes his entrance second. Once both men are in the ring and the announcer Justin Roberts makes both introductions, the referee calls for the bell for the championship match to get underway.
AEW World Championship Match: Will Ospreay © vs Swerve Strickland
A furious Ospreay charges right at Swerve to start the match, backing him up into the turnbuckle corner and stomping him down to the mat. Ospreay pulls Swerve back up to his feet and chops him across the chest several times before running across the ring, bouncing off the opposite pads and hitting Swerve with a squash against the turnbuckles. Ospreay goes to repeat the attack a second time, but before he can connect it, Swerve rolls out of the ring and regroups with Prince Nana on the outside. Ospreay waits impatiently inside the ring while the referee begins to count out Swerve. Strickland gets up to the count of 9 before re-entering the ring, but quickly rolls back out again, as the crowd reins boos down towards him. Frustrated, Ospreay bounces off the ropes and leaps over them towards Nana and Swerve on the outside of the ring. Swerve pulls Nana in front of him to take the brunt of the impact, and Ospreay takes him out. Will quickly tries to get up to his feet, but Swerve charges towards him and nails him in the head with a punt kick, dropping Ospreay down to the floor.
With the champion down, Swerve takes advantage and grabs Ospreay by the arm before irish whipping him into the steel ring steps. Will falls to the ground in pain and Swerve says on the attack, loading Ospreay up onto his shoulders and hitting him with a powerbomb through the announcer’s table before rolling him back into the ring. Back inside, Swerve stalks Ospreay and waits for him to pull himself back up to his feet before bouncing off the ropes and going to nail him with a running knee. Swerve connects with the knee and goes for the cover as Will collapses onto the mat, but the champion kicks out at 2 and the match goes on. Swerve stays on offense and climbs up onto the top ropes and Ospreay lays on the mat trying to recover. Strickland leaps off the ropes and goes to finish Ospreay off with the House Call, but Will rolls out of the way at the last moment, pops up to his feet and as Swerve turns around, Ospreay charges at him and nails him with a hidden blade.
Both men fall to the mat and slowly try to pull themselves back up to their feet. Ospreay manages to stand up first and charges towards Swerve, looking to hit him with a second hidden blade, however Swerve evades it, grabs Will from behind and takes him down with a Russian Leg Sweep. Strickland quickly pops up to his feet, bounces off the ropes and nails Will with another running knee. He sets up for a second running knee, but this one Ospreay catches, loads Swerve onto his shoulder and nails him with a Styles Clash. Ospreay goes for the cover, praying that he can finally put Swerve away, but Strickland kicks out at 2 and the match continues. Hoping to finish off Swerve once and for all, Ospreay picks him up and loads him up onto his shoulders, looking to finish him off with Storm Breaker.
Will nails it on Swerve but as the two crash down on the mat and Will goes for the cover, Darius Martin runs out from backstage and jumps up on the ring apron, distracting the referee, Bryce Remsburg. As Bryce shouts at Darius to get off the apron, turning his back on the match Dante emerges from the crowd, grabs the AEW Championship belt, slides into the ring and decks Ospreay in the back of the head with it. As Ospreay falls to the mat and Dante quicks slides out of the ring, Swerve pulls himself up to his feet and sets himself up in the corner. A dazed and confused Will Ospreay pulls himself up with the ropes before turning around and walking right into another running knee from Swerve Strickland. With the champion down, Swerve makes the cover and pins him 1-2-3!
Swerve Strickland def. Will Ospreay to win the AEW World Championship
As Swerve is handed in the AEW Championship and has his arm raised in the air in celebration, the now 2 time World Champion is joined in the ring by Dante and Darius Martin, who embrace him in victory as the medical team rush over to check on Ospreay. Swerve and Top Flight leave the ring and head back up the entrance ramp, where they are met by Prince Nana at the top, and together the 4 pose with Swerve’s newly won gold as a disgusted Will Ospreay looks on from the ring. As Swerve and Ospreay lock eyes and stare each other down from across the arena, one thing remains clear: While tonight’s match may be over, their feud is far from it.
Road to Full Gear
Following WrestleDream, Swerve Strickland is once again AEW World Champion, and now has 2 new stablemates in the form of Dante and Darius Martin from Top Flight. Swerve and Top Flight kick off their new partnership together by teaming in a trio’s match against the Dark Order on the first edition of Dynamite following WrestleDream. Following the match, Swerve cuts a promo saying that at WrestleDream, he proved that Will Ospreay was a fraud after all and that he had been the “real World Champion” the entire time. Now he has the belt and the dub to prove it, and with Top Flight by his side, there is no one to stop him from becoming the greatest AEW Champion of all time. The following week, Swerve and Top Flight team up again to defeat the Acclaimed, but after the match, Will Ospreay makes his return to Dynamite, along with back up in the form of Aussie Open, and together, the three charge the ring to attack Swerve and Top Flight. Shortly after, it is announced that Will Ospreay will receive a rematch for the AEW World Championship at Full Gear.
In the lead up to Full Gear, a trio’s match is announced for the main event of November 6th edition of Dynamite between Will Ospreay and Aussie Open against Swerve Strickland and Top Flight, with the winning team getting to decide the stipulation for their rematch. Ospreay picks up the win for his team after he scores the pinfall on Dante Martin, and announces after the match, Ospreay cuts a promo stating:
“Swerve, I know you like to run your match and talk a lot of crap, but let's get one thing straight. The only reason you beat me at WrestleDream was because of those two pricks you started running around with. So to keep things even between you and me, at Full Gear, we’re gonna have our rematch locked in a steel cage bruv!”
AEW: Full Gear - 11/23/2024
Just over 5 weeks after stealing the AEW World Championship from Will Ospreay, Swerve Strickland is now putting it back on the line against him, this time locked in a Steel Cage with AEW’s Aerial Assassin. With the cage stipulation in place to prevent either Top Flight or Aussie Open from interfering, it should be a true one on one contest between the champion and challenger. Will Ospreay makes his entrance first, followed out by the champion Swerve Strickland. Once both men are inside the cage and the door is locked, the referee calls for the bell and the match begins.
AEW World Championship Steel Cage Match: Swerve Strickland © vs Will Ospreay
Ospreay charges at Swerve to begin the match, slamming him into the turnbuckle corner where he begins nailing him with punches and knee strikes to the gut before grabbing the champ by the head, rushing forwards and throwing him face first into the side of the cage. Swerve tries to get up to his feet quickly but Ospreay grabs him from behind and hits him with a snapdragon suplex, hurling him back into the ring. Will pops up to his feet and begins beating his chest before turning around back at Swerve. Ospreay goes to grab Swerve by the head, but Strickland nails him with a low blow, before trying to roll him up into a small package. Ospreay powers out of the pin attempt, but stays on his knees in pain, and Strickland takes advantage, putting Ospreay in a headlock before running forwards and hitting him with a bulldog.
Ospreay slowly gets up to his feet and Swerve takes the opportunity to pull one of the turnbuckle pads off of the post, exposing the steel. Swerve then loads Ospreay onto his shoulders and nails Will with snake eye onto the exposed buckle, which busts open Will’s forehead. Ospreay falls to the mat and uses the ropes to pull himself up, but Swerve rushes at him and nails Ospreay with a running knee against the post. Will falls to the mat again and tries to roll away from Swerve, dazed and confused. Seeing this, the AEW Champion climbs to the top of the ring post and dives off of it, nailing Ospreay with a frog splash before going for the cover, but Ospreay kicks out at 2 and the match continues.
Looking to finish off his challenger, Swerve climbs back up to the top ropes and sets up to nail Ospreay with the House Call. However, shoots up to his feet and jumps onto the turnbuckles with Swerve, grabbing a hold of him and hitting him with a belly to belly from the top ropes, sending both men crashing down to the mat. Both men try to get up to their feet quickly and Ospreay rushes at Swervie, taking him down with a running Hidden Blade. Swerve slowly gets up to his feet and Ospreay grabs him by the head before throwing him into the cage again. Ospreay starts to show more aggression and grinds Swerve’s head against the cage walls before nailing him with elbow strikes to the back of the head. Swerve falls backwards and Ospreay grabs hold of him, loads him onto his shoulders and goes to finish him off with Storm Breaker but Swerve fights off his shoulders and lands on his feet before bouncing off the ropes before drilling Ospreay with another running knee. Will goes down and Swerve goes for the cover, but Ospreay powers out, and a frustrated champion pulls Ospreay up to his feet again before irish whipping him into the turnbuckle post.
Ospreay holds himself up against the post and Swerve turns him around before climbing up the ropes to gain leverage and begins nailing Will with punches to the head. Ospreay wakes up and grabs Swerve by the trunks, trying to run forward and nail him with a powerbomb, but Swerve holds onto the cage to prevent him. Strickland pulls off a piece of steel from the cage and smashes Will in the head with it, causing Ospreay to let go of him. Out of desperation, Swerve goes for a high risk move and contorts his body backwards, nailing Ospreay with a hurricanrana off the turnbuckle, sending him tumbling back into the ring. As Ospreay slowly gets up to his feet, Swerve charges at him and goes to drill him with a running knee, but Ospreay evades it and when Swerve turns around, Ospreay kicks him in the stomach before locking him in the double underhook and nailing him with a Tiger Driver 91. Ospreay goes for the cover 1-2-NOO! Somehow Strickland kicks out and Ospreay can’t believe it.
Out of seeming desperation, Ospreay looks up towards the sky and begins climbing up the cage as Strickland begins to pull himself up to his feet. As Ospreay ascends to the top corner of the cage, Swerve finally sends back up, and after Will briefly looks over his shoulder to check the champion’s position, Will takes a leap of faith and nails Swerve with a Moonsault from the top of the cage. Both men collapse onto the mat as the crowd goes into a frenzy, and Will hooks Swerve’s leg before making the cover 1-2-3!
Will Ospreay def. Swerve Strickland to win the AEW World Championship
As the cage is raised, the now 2-time AEW World Champion Will Ospreay has his hand raised in victory by the referee before being handed back his AEW World Championship belt, holding it in his arms for the first time since Swerve had stolen it at AEW: Grand Slam back in September. As Top Flight rush out to ringside to help Swerve backstage, Will is joined in the ring by Aussie Open to celebrate his win, and Full Gear goes off the air with the AEW World Championship back with Will Ospreay where it belongs.
Road to World’s End
Following Full Gear, Will Ospreay and Swerve Strickland have one final match for the AEW World Championship to put their feud to bed once and for all. On the December 4th edition of Dynamite, the two wrestle a 2 out of 3 falls match, with Ospreay picking up the win 2 falls to 1 after nearly 45 minutes in the ring to retain his title. After this defense, his opponent for AEW: World’s End is announced but with an added twist. With the Pay Per View fittingly titled World’s End, Tony Khan announces that after purchasing Ring of Honor in March of 2022 and running it and AEW as two separate entities, at the conclusion of 2024, he will be folding Ring of Honor into AEW and will unify all ROH championships with their AEW counterparts at World’s End. This being the case, in the main event of AEW: World’s End, Will Ospreay will defend his AEW Championship in a unification match against the reigning ROH World Champion….
Adam Cole
Following All In, where Adam Cole interfered in the main event and cost MJF his chance at regaining the AEW World Championship, Cole and MJF reignited their feud, which culminated in a Lights Out, loser leaves AEW match at WrestleDream, which MJF won. Following this lose, Adam Cole and the rest of the Undisputed Kingdom took refuge in Ring of Honor, where Cole quickly found himself in the main event scene, and thanks to his allies in the Undisputed Kingdom, was able to win the ROH World Championship for a record setting 4th time. In just a few short months after being forced to leave AEW, Adam Cole now finds himself back in the company’s main event scene with a chance to become the top champion. The only obstacle in his way is arguably the top professional wrestler in the world today, the reigning AEW World Champion, Will Ospreay.
AEW: World’s End - 12/28/2024
Main eventing AEW’s final show of the year, the Ring of Honor World Champion Adam Cole faces off against the AEW World Champion Will Ospreay in a title versus title unification match, pitting arguably two of the best professional wrestlers in the world today against each other. Cole makes his entrance first, flanked by the entirety of the Undisputed Kingdom, while Ospreay makes his entrance second, accompanied to the ring by Aussie Open. The referee, Bryce Remsberg direct everyone to the back following the ring entrances to keep the main event even, and after the ring announcer makes the introductions, the bell rings for the match to officially begin.
AEW & ROH World Championship Unification Match: Will Ospreay vs Adam Cole
The two world champions circle each other in the ring before locking up, but the larger and much more physically dominant Will Ospreay quickly gets the upper hand and pushes Cole back against the turnbuckle pads, where he begins unloading on him with punches to the stomach. Ospreay starts kicking him in the gut until Cole falls down to the mat, and Will backs off and bounces off the ropes to hit him with a running knee, but Cole rolls out of the ring to escape further punishment. Ospreay quickly follows Cole out of the ring and goes after him, but when Will goes to grab him, Cole nails him with a quick spinning back kick to the gut. As Ospreay drops down to a knee in pain, Cole grabs him by the arm and Irish Whips him against the ringside barricade. Cole lines up Ospreay as he leans up against the barricade as he runs at him and hits him with a running knee, and the AEW World Champion drops to the ground as the ROH World Champion poses over him. Cole grabs Ospreay by his hair and rolls him back into the ring before bouncing off the ropes again and nailing him with another running knee. Ospreay falls backwards onto the mat in pain and Cole goes for the cover, but Will kicks out quickly at the count of 2 and the match continues.
Cole continues to work Ospreay down, but Will fights up to his feet and retaliates against Adam. Ospreay starts nailing him with punches and elbow strikes and goes to Irish whip Cole into the turnbuckle pads. Cole stands his ground and reverses the Irish whip attempt, sending Ospreay rushing towards the pads. Will runs up the turnbuckle pads and jumps off the top, hitting a moon sault on Cole, taking him off his feet. Ospreay pops up and bounces off the ropes, hitting Cole with a running bicycle kick as Adam tries to get up to his feet. Adam rolls out of the ring to recover, but Ospreay stays on offense and bounces off the ropes, hitting Cole with a dive to the outside of the ring, and both men are down. The two slowly get up to their feet as the referee gets to the count of 9, and they both dive into the ring at the same time. They both get up to their feet and meet in the center of the ring to start trading blows with each other.
Ospreay gets the upper hand and hits Cole with multiple elbow strikes before Adam stumbles backwards into the ropes. Cole bounces off the ropes and hits Ospreay with a front kick, and Will falls backwards himself. Ospreay bounces off the ropes, ducks under a clothesline from Cole, bounces off the ropes once more from behind Adam and takes him down with a running Hidden Blade on the rebound. Ospreay nails Cole with a 2nd Hidden Blade, and follows it up with a 3rd. Finally, Ospreay loads Cole on his shoulders and goes to hit him with a Storm Breaker, but the ROH World Champion fights off his shoulders, locks him in a headlock and hits him with a brain buster.
With Ospreay down on the mat, Cole goes on to the turnbuckle ropes and prepares to hit a Panama Sunrise on Ospreay, Will shoots up to his feet quickly, runs up the turnbuckle, puts Cole in a headlock and hits him with suplex off of the top rope, sending both men crashing down to the mat. Both men slowly try to get back up to their feet, with Ospreay pulling himself up by the ropes first. Will lines up Cole and goes to nail him with one more Hidden Blade, but at the last second, Cole pulls the referee in front of him, and Ospreay take him down by mistake. The referee Remsberg rolls out of the ring in pain and as Ospreay looks on in horror, members of the Undisputed Kingdom take advantage and rush out to the ring to help their leader.
Mike Bennett and Matt Taven hit the ring first, and while Ospreay is able to fight them off, he is quickly attacked from behind and overpowered by Wardlow. Wardlow picks up Ospreay and nails him with a powerbomb and Roderick Strong runs out with several kendo sticks. He hands them to Bennett and Taven and together, the three start nailing Ospreay in the back with the sticks until Aussie Open rush out wielding steel chairs. As those three rush of the ring, Aussie Open turn around and are immediately taken out by a double clothesline from Wardlow. However, the distraction gives Ospreay enough time to recover and he charges at the big man, knocking him out of the ring with a brutal Hidden Blade. Wardlow goes tumbling out of the ring, leaving it back to just Ospreay and Cole, but as Will turns around, Adam jumps back up to his feet and rushes over to nail Ospreay with a low blow. As Will drops to his knees in pain, Cole pulls down his knee pad and bounces off the ropes before nailing him in the back of the head with a devastating running knee and going for the cover 1-2-3!!!
Adam Cole def. Will Ospreay to become Unified AEW & ROH World Champion
The Undisputed Kingdom’s music blasts through the arena as Cole is presented with both championship belts, which he proudly holds high in the air. Wardlow, Taven, Bennett and Strong all going him in the air in celebration as Ospreay rolls out of the ring and watches on in disgust, once again cheated out of his World Championship. With World’s End coming to a close, AEW’s final show of the year may be ending, but it appears this may be the start of a new feud between Will Ospreay and Adam Cole.

Autopilot.
Aware that you cannot move or think or breathe on your own. The words that spew from your lips are nothing more than senseless garbage to appease the masses watching your every move.
You can't scream or cry or beg for mercy.
All you can do is watch your body, your mouth, your thoughts, be puppeteered by thousands of greedy, impatient eyes.
It's like being dead, and aware I'm dead.
Dead, while my body dances, my mind is no longer mine.
I smile a perfect smile. I don't notice the stitches holding me together.
I'm not allowed to notice.
So many layers of skin, flesh over flesh that is patchwork and does not belong to me. I am not allowed to think. I am not allowed to scream or cry, or tear into layer upon layer of Brianna Timberman’s sculpting me into beauty.
Perfection.
No thoughts, except one.
That suffocates me, strangling my words from my throat.
And I am put into autopilot.
I am Brianna Timberman.
I am Brianna Timberman.
I am Brianna Timberman.
Felix was my latest three day fling.
I was using him to make Sam jealous, but a drunken night had turned into another night, and suddenly it was Wednesday, and I was yet to leave his place.
Fuck.
He was supposed to be someone I could kick to the curb, someone to take out my frustration on. Now, Felix was more than a rebound. But even tangled in his bed, I couldn't stop thinking about Sam.
Sam Thwaites rejected me at seventeen years old, and had waltzed back into my life. As teenagers, I told him I loved him, and Sam got all flustered and started shaking his head, like I was something he didn't believe in.
Sam said words like, “I didn't know you thought of me this way.” and “Wait, you liked me?” with this dumb fucking look on his face. He told me he needed space, and left me in the pouring rain.
Five years later, he was standing in my parent’s lounge.
I could still smell him on my skin, and I hated it. I hated him.
“Bree!” Mom’s smile was wide. She and Dad were obsessed with finding me a suitor.
“This is Samuel.”
Sam Thwaites took my hand, entwining his fingers with mine. He was so warm, and I hated that I wanted to fall into him. I hated that my heart was pounding through my chest. I had already seen him, bumping into him in the snow.
I had already shamelessly fucked him in a stall without truly looking at him, angry and frustrated, and really, really, fucking hot. I wanted to tell him whatever he wanted to happen was over. I told him I hated him, curled against him, the two of us out of breath, my head against his chest, his head tipped back, half lidded eyes skimming across the ceiling.
The two of us were sprawled out on ice cold tiles, his fingers stroking through my hair. I told him to leave.
But there he was, standing in my parent’s house. In the exposed light, Sam was maturer in the face, losing his baby fat for more curvier, handsome features. Thick brown curls hung in playful eyes that wanted a challenge.
The slight curve in his lips told me everything I needed to know. Sam remembered our stupid childhood pact.
I could hear it in his voice, the satisfaction dripping from his tone.
“Hello, Brianna.”
I pulled him outside, straight into a downpour.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded.
Sam shrugged with a smile. “We’re both adults, aren't we?”
I thought back to our childhood pact. If neither of us had found anyone by the age of twenty, we would marry each other.
“You left me.”
Sam stepped forward, grasping my hands. “I did.” He admitted, “But I was a stupid kid, Bree. I had no idea what I was talking about, and I was… scared.”
“Scared?”
He nodded, blinking rain out of his eyes.
“I was scared of losing you.”
I laughed incredulously. You did lose me, Sam! When you left me in the rain.”
“But I'm not scared anymore,” his voice was soft. He got closer. So close, I could see his breath. Sam kissed me tenderly, one hand cupping my cheek, the other sliding up my jacket. His mouth found my ear, something wet and warm oozing down my neck.
“Take… it.” Sam’s voice was different, suddenly.
”Please.”
Pulling away from the kiss, I shoved him back.
“How much is my father paying you?”
Sam swiped at his… bloody? lips, and a question sprung to mind.
Where did the blood come from?
“Well?” I demanded, my voice collapsing into a sob. “Is my dad paying you or not? Is that why you came back?”
Sam didn't answer, his face crumpling.
“Bree–”
“Save it!”
I left before he could fully open his mouth.
Halfway down the road, I realized I was freezing cold.
Before a shadow loomed, an umbrella shielding me.
“You look like a drowned rat.” My colleague was next to me, avoiding my gaze. “Take this.” he turned away from me, curling his lip. “Do whatever you want with it, I don't care.” He twisted around, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
The next day at work, I couldn't stop thinking about Sam.
Felix, the lead singer of a local band, and a law student, was the perfect distraction. I met him in a bar.
He was the Aussie trying to get a Dualingo streak, downing shots like soda. His accent was cute. It reminded me of water, or maybe that was just my drunken state. The cadence in his voice was like…trickling.
I told him this, and he laughed. His suggestive wink took us to his apartment, and we spent the night together after I drunkenly told him I thought he was hot. I expected it to be just a one-time thing, but then we were having sex on his kitchen counter.
I told him it wasn't serious. However, a one night stand had become more of a three day friends with benefits thing.
Now, we were sitting outside my work drinking coffee, and I was starting to reconsider my initial stand on Australian Felix.
There was something about the way he smiled with all of his teeth, nervously tapping his coffee cup and occasionally losing himself completely, falling into a daydream mid-conversation. I liked it though.
I liked watching his mind jet off into space. His longing gaze was adorable.
Felix was sitting awkwardly, chin resting on his fist, talking about his favourite band, and I was enraptured by caramel colored eyes and the dimples in his cheeks. The sun was shining, and we were sitting under cherry blossoms I didn't remember seeing before. I was supposed to be working, and he had come to see me, armed with cupcakes and my favourite coffee. Dreamer Felix.
Dimpled cheeks Felix.
Felix with the trickly accent and slight lisp, who stumbled over his words and had a milk moustache I desperately wanted to wipe away. I did, leaning over the table and lightly brushing the curve of my finger across his upper lip.
“You've got a little…”
Felix’s eyes widened. He swiped at his mouth, chuckling. “Ah. That's… kinda embarrassing.”
A loud and overly exaggerated clearing of the throat made me jump.
“Urgh. I think I just threw up in my mouth.”
Looming over me like a bad smell, was my colleague Jasper, scowling as usual. Standing with his arms crossed over his apron, he shot me a patronising smile, completely blanking Felix.
The boy dumped my latte down, spilling half of it across the table.
Behind him, a group of teenage girls were giggling. I wasn't surprised.
Jasper really could pull off any look, and, just like the girls squealing over him, I couldn't resist handsome features and a killer jawline. It just sucked that he was one of the rudest people I had ever met.
He was wearing the exact same shirt from yesterday, his apron flung over the top, cropped blonde hair in disarray. Running his hair through it, he groaned.
“You're supposed to be workiiiing, Bree,“ He said in a sing-song. Leaning across the table, Jasper’s patronising smile widened. “Are we done here?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Sorry, Jasper.”
“You should be.” Jasper’s gaze flicked to Felix. ”You're a student, right?”
“Uh…” Felix nodded slowly. “Yeah? I guess.”
My colleague shot him a sparkly grin. “Five percent off at the Crap ‘N Shack this weekend! Student discount! Alcohol served after 9pm will be free.”
“Woah, really?” Felix downed the rest of his drink, his eyes wide.
I glanced at his cup. I could have sworn he'd… finished it.
“What about parking?” Felix asked. “Will… I still get a ticket?”
“Nope!” Jasper shot him a grin, and a thumbs up. “Make sure to bring a student ID, and parking is free! It's all going down at the Crap ‘N Shack! This Saturday! With a Special guest, local music artist, Tiema Wright! Performing his new song, “I'm sorry I left you in the rain, but will you marry me?”
Both boys turned to me with matching smiles, speaking in sync. “Will you be there, Brianna?”
I nodded, with a grin. “You bet I will!” I saluted Felix with my drink. “Shouldn't you be heading to class?”
“I love you Jasper!” one of the girls squeaked from behind me.
My colleague rolled his eyes, not even turning around to look at her.
“I know you do.” Jasper sighed, pulling out his notepad and pen.
He side-stepped to the next table, serving the people next to us. He licked his finger with exaggerated slowness, flipping the page. “But you're embarrassing yourself, sweetheart.”
“I'm free after work,” I said, “Maybe you could come back to my place?”
“You're on the late shift tonight with me, so no you're not free.” Jasper said behind me. When I twisted around to shoot him a look, he was tapping his pen on his notepad, mid-eyeroll.
“No, sir, we don't do refills. Nope, I can't make an exception, and no, complaining about it will just make me laugh.”
“I'll text you.” I told Felix.
“Sounds good.” He jumped up, finishing his coffee and grabbing his backpack. The Pikachu keyring on his zipper made me smile. “I have class, but I'll reply when I'm out, all right?”
Felix lifted his hand in a wave, took two steps back, and was crushed by a falling sheet of glass.
I'm not sure when it was my mind stirred, and I regained consciousness for the fraction of a second. It was enough for my vision to clear, my senses coming back to the surface.
The never ending script of words programmed into my brain stopped abruptly, and I was left suffocating on my own breaths.
I was awake.
Awake, blinking at Felix’s body being peeled from concrete.
Awake.
Awake enough to notice my colleague visibly flinched behind his notepad when Felix died. Awake enough to be able to breathe again, coerce words in my mind.
I had zero idea of who I was before Brianna Timberman. Who was underneath flawless skin and manicures and sparkling teeth. My senses returned in waves. Taste.
I had drank the same fucking coffee four times, and I could taste coffee grounds on my tongue.
Smell.
There were sweat patches staining my blouse.
Touch.
I could feel my coffee cup, running my finger around the rim.
I am not Brianna Timberman.
The thought slammed into me, and I felt my hands twitch by my sides, the overwhelming urge to tear off my skin, layer after layer until I found myself.
When did I regain my free will?
Maybe it was when Felix’s blood was seeping across my shoes, his body an unrecognisable mess of stringy flesh and lumps under splinters of glass sparkling like diamonds across the sidewalk.
It took me half a second to realize a woman was screaming in my face.
“Oh my god, sweetie, are you okay?”
Autopilot.
I nodded shakily, words already tumbling out of my mouth.
“I'm fine.”
“Was he your boyfriend?”
Autopilot.
“No.”
For some reason, my eyes found Jasper still hiding behind his notebook.
“He wasn't.”
No matter how hard I tried to fight it, Brianna’s feelings were already swamping me. I felt my cheeks heat up, my stomach fluttering. Before autopilot thoughts could spring out of nowhere, I remembered my colleague’s reaction to Felix’s death, as well as him subtly trying to stop me from talking to Sam.
There was zero doubt in my mind that Jasper didn't know what was going on.
If the rest of us were recycled lumps of skin, what was he? He was a love interest, but he wasn't one of Bree’s exes.
Sam explained my colleague was a curveball.
The so-called bad-boy playing with Brianna Timberman feelings.
With little to no thoughts of my own, I stated the facts in my head.
My life wasn't real. I was nothing but recycled flesh sculpted and moulded into a dead prom queen with her memories. That thought still had not sunk in yet, and when I started to register it, all I wanted to do was peel my skin from my bones until I found myself.
Who I was, hiding under patchwork flesh.
So many Brianna’s stitched onto me. So many lost souls.
I had been on autopilot for days. All that I had left when I came to, was a vague memory of every other death.
Ben, Alex, and Esme.
Car crash.
Suicide.
Carbon monoxide poisoning.
Now Felix.
Crushed to death.
Each of their deaths had been voted m by the townspeople.
It was only a matter of time before Felix would be erased from existence too.
Sam, or the boy underneath him, had shown me who I really was, a lump of flesh sculpted into Brianna Timberman.
Sam had the same fate.
He showed me where he came from, a factory that had turned the town's teen populace into the exact same four faces.
Brianna Timberman’s exes.
Ben, Alex, Esme, and Sam.
First, he was an Alex, then a Ben, and then an extra, who tried to warn me, before being abruptly converted into Sam Thwaites, a brand new love interest, and Brianna’s childhood friend.
Sam told me Brianna’s exes deaths were a joke, her love life controlled by the town through a popularity poll.
Brianna had committed suicide years ago, but the town were obsessed.
They wanted to watch her life. They wanted to see which person she would choose, voting for their favourites while dooming the loser to a fate worse than death. The least popular love interest would die brutally, and the cycle would continue. In this case, it was Felix.
The boy suppressed under Sam had shown me the truth, only to be captured and turned into one of my parent’s suitors. The realization was like a kick in the face. I was alone. Awake and aware of too-bright lights on my face, and unable to cry out or scream.
Brianna Timberman was dead, but according to the town, the show must go on.
Staying very still, I was suddenly well aware of patrons on their phone.
I glanced at a teenage girl, who was rapidly swiping right on an image of my colleague, while a man holding a briefcase lazily swiped left on Sam.
“Your boyfriend should have been more careful.”
I blinked.
Jasper was in front of me, arms folded across his apron.
Sam talked about a Red Zone in the bathroom stalls a few days ago.
He said it was where they couldn't see us, and I would be fully conscious, severed from whatever was in my head.
Jasper waved his hand in front of my face, and it suddenly occurred to me that if I wanted answers, such as where the Red Zone was located, I needed my colleague’s help.
Whether he was awake or not.
Brianna Timberman was in full control of my mind, however, so regaining free will was getting progressively harder.
Two days later, after being stuck on autopilot, I was serving a woman trying to calm her screaming kid.
Felix didn't have a funeral, and his name was already forgotten. In my half awake state though, I remembered him.
I had since met two people.
Adrianna, who was a quick make out in a bathroom stall.
She smelled just like Esme. Roses and cheap perfume.
Ren. The older college professor who I drunkenly kissed in the back of an Uber.
I can't pinpoint the times when I was fully awake.
Fully in control.
I was perfecting a foam heart on a customer's latte, when I realized I really wanted to fuck my colleague. The thought was explosive, immediately setting my cheeks on fire. Trying to suppress it was fighting a losing battle.
“Hey.” Jasper sided in front of me, tearing me out of my thoughts. Or Brianna’s thoughts. I had spent the last hour dazedly staring at his wonderfully sculpted jawline, unable to look at anything else.
Brianna liked to fantasise, and her mind wasn't exactly PG13.
It's not like I had control of my mouth. Autopilot meant my body and mind worked for me. I was just lucky to be conscious– or at least semi-conscious.
I had a semblance of a plan, and the first part was finding Sam Thwaites. Or the boy sculpted into Sam. The last time I saw him before I went on autopilot, I had no idea if he was awake or just a really good fucking performer.
The Red Zone was all I could think of.
If I wanted out of this nightmare, I needed to find it.
However, thinking is kind of hard when all I can think about was my colleague’s biceps.
I couldn't take my eyes off of the way he swung a carton of milk, mid-conversation with our manager.
Jasper caught my eye, scowling.
“Bree. Get your fucking head out of the clouds.”
My colleague’s tone was so shamelessly unapologetic, a group of girls in the queue burst into giggles. The guy was like a circus attraction.
Now that I had a semblance of actual thought, I realized our only customers were women, with the odd man every blue moon. Jasper cleared his throat, setting the milk down.
“Okay, look, I’m sorry your boyfriend got flattened, or whatever, but you need to stop moping around like someone freakin’ died.”
Autopilot.
There was a bright light suddenly.
I shoved him. Hard.
“Why do you always have to be such a dick?”
Jasper was unfazed. He didn't even stumble. I felt it, a shiver creeping down my spine, an insatiable need clouding my thought process.
Brianna Timberman was hot. Very hot. Jasper’s attitude, his movement, everything about him and being so close to him, was making her flustered.
She was sweating under her apron, and all she could look at, all she could focus on, was her colleague. Who was, against all odds, still playing hard to get.
All around us, patrons went silent.
The girls in the queue started nudging each other. My colleague stepped forward, his breath tickling my face.
He was a little too close. “I should be asking you the same thing,” he murmured, lips twitching into a smirk.
“You've been staring at me all morning.” Jasper stepped closer, backing me into the counter. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter and hotter, my thoughts clouding.
Another step, and we were nose to nose.
Jasper cocked his head. “Do I…have something on my face, Bree?”
It took every morsel of self control to turn away from him, back to the queue.
I smiled widely at the customer, making lattes and coffees. But my stomach was dancing, my mind foggy and distant.
It didn't help that every time Jasper shoved past me, he made it intentional, and the friction of his body against mine, his hands brushing my waist, was driving me crazy. Sam mentioned aphrodisiacs being pumped through the vent in the bathroom stalls to influence intimacy between Brianna and her love interests.
I had a feeling that is what was happening. Still, though, when I peeked at the ceiling, I couldn't see a vent.
I couldn't stop my own wandering hands every time he passed me.
It was a game, in a way.
Who would crack first.
I was in the break room trying to cool myself off, when Jasper stepped in front of me.
“Vegan milk.” He said. Despite acting cool and collected, maintaining his asshole smirk, I glimpsed a noticeable red blush spreading across his cheeks.
His lips found my ear. “Can you… help me find it?”
Autopilot.
Autopilot had taken us into the dark. My body and emotions and feelings were no longer mine, choking, drowning, in fog that contorted me into exactly what these people wanted.
I'm not sure how I got from the break room to the storage closet, pinned against a shelf, half naked, my legs wrapped around my colleague. He started, of course, with his mouth latched to my ear, muttering about Mulberry Milk offers, before his lips found mine.
His breath was heavy, his hands finding my waist, and sliding up my shirt.
God, I pretended a lot of things weren't happening for the sake of not losing my fucking mind.
I pretended I couldn't hear the wolf whistles and squeals rumbling in the walls surrounding us, that the pleasure riding through me was mine, and not theirs. We had an audience.
Somehow, that was even worse than my body being used to satisfy others.
I pretended I wasn't fully exposed, and even worse, that I wanted it.
I wanted to get closer to him, pressing my mouth into his clammy neck and burying my face in his shoulder.
I wanted him to continue, his lips in my hair.
Tipping my head back, my vision was blurring.
But I could see it.
Right above our heads, there was the vent pumping us full of aphrodisiacs.
Sex drugs, I thought dizzily.
I laughed, and it was so out of character, Jasper pulled away for a moment, brows knotting in confusion.
“The Red Zone.” I managed to grit out through Brianna Timberman’s mouth. “Where is it?”
When he didn't respond, I grabbed the back of his head, forcing him to look at me. Under the dim light of a flickering bulb, my colleague’s eyes were half lidded, his pupils dilated pools of confusing black. I had no doubt he hadn't been heavily drugged.
Jasper kissed me deeply again, and when I managed to shove him away, he tightened his grip on my waist, pressing his face into my shoulder.
“The Red Zone.” I repeated, my thoughts reduced to soup.
I only had a certain amount of time, and that time was running out.
I shoved him again. This time, I felt filthy.
His clammy hands all over my skin was like poison.
I felt suffocated, every time he leaned in.
The worst part is that this man had zero choice either.
The thought struck, sending violent tremors through me.
How many times had my corpse of a body been used like this?
How many times had I been fucked, or fucked someone else for this town’s sickening satisfaction obsession with Brianna Timberman?
“Tell me where it is!” I said through a shriek.
Jasper slowly started to respond, blinking rapidly. “The… wha?”
He was a good performer, awake or not.
“You knew what was going on when your friends dragged Sam away.”
I kept my voice low, kissing him harder to keep the narrative going. Especially when I could hear the dull sound of pounding feet. These freaks wanted us to fuck.
I made sure to let my mouth linger on his, aware of every inch of the two of us being watched, analysed, probably photographed and posted to the town website. “I saw you flinch when Felix died. Which means you were awake.”
I pulled away, slowly, playing with the collar of his shirt. But at the same time, I was looking for every possible escape route. Sam was right. To my left, I could see a subtle red light dancing across Jasper’s jaw.
And to my right, another skimming across my neck.
So, I grabbed the boy, shoving him against the shelf, switching our positions.
“You tracked me down that day,” I spoke softly, pretending to bury my head in his chest. “You knew exactly where I was. And you took Sam away. So, you know exactly where the Red Zone is. You know where he was hiding.”
Jasper surprised me with a chuckle. When I lifted my gaze, my vision was fuzzy, my body hot and flustered, and yet I was shivering. His head was tipped back, lazy eyes tracking the ceiling. He was following the exact same red light.
“You're a funny girl, Bree.” He murmured. My colleague leaned forward, keeping up the facade for our unseen audience. He was doing exactly what they wanted, the curve of his back almost too perfectly lit up.
It was exactly what Brianna Timberman had fantasised.
Jasper’s panting breaths found my ear. “Keep talking, though? You're going to fuck both of us over.”
His words sent shivers trickling down my spine.
In the corner of my eye, the red light was visible. If the room was too dark, that meant they were tracking and filming our movements. I didn't think.
Grabbing my colleague’s shoulders, I yanked him to his knees, dropping with him. Risking a glance behind us, the light was gone. Which meant (or at least I hoped) that we were out of shot.
Jasper regarded me lazily, inclining his head. “What are you–”
I slammed my hand over his mouth, cutting him off.
“The Red Zone. You know exactly where it is.” I hissed, tightening my grip on his shoulder. When he played stupid, I dug my fingernails in. “You're not an ex,” I said, “So, what are you?”
“Jasper?” my colleague muffled under my hand, pointing to his name tag. When I removed my hand, his lips spread out into a grin. But I caught his eyes frantically searching for those red lights.
“I have no idea what you're talking about, Bree!” He raised his voice significantly, “But… did you know vegan milk is made with only the best pasteurised milk from Mulberry Farms?”
This guy wasn't going to sing, so I had to get creative.
Above us, three red lights were scanning the dark.
They were looking for us.
“Please.” I whispered, searching his eyes for a hint of a human being.
“You're as much of a victim as me, right? Don't you want out of here?!”
Jasper responded with his signature eyeroll, maintining that plastic fucking grin.
“I… have zero idea what you’re talking about! But do you know what I really want to talk about? Mulberry Farms milk!”
I couldn't stop myself. Maybe it was frustration, desperation, or a mix of both. I wasn't fully thinking straight when I grasped the back of his head, and slammed Jasper’s skull into the metal edge of the shelf. I regretted it immediately when the guy’s eyes rolled to pearly whites, his body going limp in my arms, head lolling onto his shoulder.
When a single rivulet of red slid from his nose, I realized he was like Sam.
Sam, who must have given himself a head injury to wake himself up.
A severing.
Under the influence of the narrative, as well as aphrodisiacs choking my thoughts into arousal, I never really saw my colleague’s body. I only saw what Brianna wanted to see. Lean muscles and a perfectly sculpted v-line.
But now, away from the cameras, and in the fading light of a dying bulb, I saw them, running my trembling fingers over rugged stitched and patchwork skin moulding this boy, and so many others, into the perfect man.
I could see where parts of him had been replaced and cut away, his entire face airbrushed into a viewer’s fantasy.
But looking closer, his real eyes were mismatched contortions of blue and brown.
I waited for the sarcastic eye roll and immediate plug-in advertisement.
Instead, though, the man's expression was… softer.
He looked dazed, confused, blinking rapidly.
But, as he slowly drank in his surroundings, his expression started to twist into fear. Pain. Anger.
Anger that was so vast, so overwhelming, that he dropped to his knees, scrubbing at his face. I didn't know what to say. Sorry didn't mean anything. Sam was gentle when he told me I was recycled skin, nothing but a flesh puppet for a psychotic town.
But I didn't give him a chance to take it in. I plunged him directly into this cruel, horrifying reality.
Jasper’s frenzied gaze went to his hands, and then his hands were in his hair, clawing down his face.
His lips parted like he was going to speak, but I don't think he could.
Jasper’s eyes filled with frustrated tears. Terror that was something I could relate to, an existential dread and confusion and pain that was tearing him apart. I knew the questions at the back of his head.
Why me? Why was this happening to me? How can I be alive? How can I be real when the rest of me is nothing?
I felt my own fingers trace the scars across my own stomach.
Scars that only I could feel, deeply indented into my skin.
Skin that I wanted to rip into, to tear away.
Because… I was somewhere, right?
Underneath all of this, my old self was there.
I fucking HAD to be because I can't just be THIS.
Jasper stumbled back, clumsy on his feet, embarrassed and confused, trying to hide himself. When blood started seeping freely from his nose and down his chin, I found my voice. “Hey.”
I spoke softly, and his eyes finally found mine, resembling a startled deer.
“Can you tell me who you are?”
I swallowed thick slime creeping into my mouth.
“Who you were?”
For a sobering moment, it was just the two of us.
Not Brianna and Jasper.
His eyes found mine, truly drinking me in.
And something sparked in his expression. Recognition, or familiarity.
His hands cupped my face, fingers running down my cheeks.
The man was mute, speechless, and yet somehow, he was crying.
Crying for me.
A stranger.
Somehow, though, my hands, or at least part of my hand, the stitched and rugged parts of me, responded to his touch.
“Bree? Jasper?”
When the door flew open, I jumped to my feet, pulling the boy with me.
They were paranoid, I thought, mirroring Sam’s earlier words.
The town was making sure we were still satisfying them.
To my surprise, Jasper’s eyes dilated back to brown.
“Uh,” His voice was choked up, more of a growl, “Give us a sec, all right?”
Autopilot.
I bent down and grabbed my shirt, throwing it on.
Jasper buttoned up his own, brushing himself down.
He stepped back, winking.
“Same time tomorrow?”
Autopilot.
Brianna didn't speak. Instead, she headed towards the door.
She wanted him to chase after her for more.
But not before Jasper came close, hissing in my ear.
“You want to go on a suicide mission? Fine.” I was already pulling away, or Brianna was pulling away, because my body was being forced forwards.
Still, he held me, tightening his grip. “The thrift store across the street. Stall three, in the bathroom.” He said. “Just, please,” Jasper’s tone softened.
“Please never fucking do that to me again.”
So, I had a location.
The problem was actually getting to it.
Autopilot.
It was stronger, forcing me onto the stage.
I spilled coffee over a customer, and of course, Jasper came to the rescue.
When I dropped a tray full of drinks, slipping on someone's mess, his arms were already wrapped around me, catching me before I could hit the ground.
When our eyes met, Brianna Timberman’s heart fluttered.
The people surrounding us were already swiping right on their phones.
Jasper helped me stand up. “You… should be more careful, you idiot.” He grumbled.
I nodded, straightening up.
Jasper leaned against the refrigerator. “Do you know Sam Thwaites?”
I didn't look up from making coffee. “Yeah. He was…”
I blinked away memories of the two of us as kids.
“Just a friend.”
“He's bad news.” Jasper said. “The guy is working for your dad.”
“That's not… that's not true.”
“Oh, really?” He stepped in front of me, head tiled to the side. “So, he just came back into your life for no reason?”
“I don't want to talk about Sam.”
“But… Did he leave you anything?” Jasper murmured. “Like a… I don't know, a parting gift, maybe?”
Before I could reply, my colleague blurted, “What were you wearing when we were… “ He looked around nervously. “Looking for vegan milk?”
“I… don't know?” I prodded at my apron. “This, I guess? Why?”
“Oh, no reason!” he winked at me. “Did you know my Aunt died recently?”
“No…”
“Well, her funeral was all sorted within a matter of days,” Jasper continued, speaking through that same grin.
“Callister Funeral Care really did give me the comfort me and my family needed while we were in mourning…”
Autopilot.
I woke up halfway through my shift the next day, in the middle of serving three boys.
Immediately, I dropped what I was doing, darting to the door.
“I'm going on my break!” I yelled, grabbing my jacket and pushing through a group of girls. The town thrift store was empty. I was pushing through the door when a girl pushed past me, hard enough to knock my jacket out of my hands. When I scooped it up, something dropped out of my pocket.
Inside was a single black disk-shaped thing. I stuck the plastic down my bra.
“Bree? What are you doing here?”
Lifting my head, my colleague was standing over me.
Jasper’s smile was a little too big.
When he helped me up, his voice was a sharp breath. “How exactly are you planning on getting in the men’s bathroom, genius?”
I had a way.
But neither of us were going to like it.
Autopilot, however, did my job for me. I was in a bathroom stall on my knees, when reality hit, and I shook my head of fog. Jasper was already pulling me to my feet. Pressing his index over his lips and motioning for me to be quiet, he pointed above our head. Instead of a window, there was a hatch. “Red Zone Two.” He mouthed. "Fucking go!
I nodded, climbing onto the toilet bowl, throwing myself through the hatch.
This time, I felt directly into a pile of still-wet and still warm bodies.
But these weren't Alex’s or Ben’s, or Sam’s.
My own face, my perfectly moulded and sculpted Barbie doll face stared back at me. Brianna Timberman was everywhere. Her glazed blue eyes and wide smile were suffocating me. It when I stood up, did I start to see patches. I saw skin and hair, torn and stained clothes with body parts still attached to them. Different faces.
Girls.
Beautiful girls with their heads severed, their bodies reduced to mutilated flesh.
Smiles stretched into skeletal grimaces, and eyes scooped from the sockets.
As if I felt connection with the doll pieces around me, I started to claw at my legs.
Like I could find my own skin, revel in it.
I stood up, at the sound of a mechanical whirring. In front of me was a blood stained conveyer belt that wasn't moving, that was frozen. Just like the room with Sam’s, Ben's, Alex's, and Esme’s. I felt my fingernails rip into my arms, and my face. My gaze was glued to the cutoffs, the human bodies scattering metal flooring. Is this what I was?
I ripped into the skin of my face until I felt the sting.
But there was no fucking blood. Nothing to remind me I was human.
“Bree. You need to get out of here. Now.”
I was barely aware Jasper had joined me. He fished up my jacket.
“What are you?” I asked him, my voice shuddering.
“Wrong.”
His response surprised me. “Which is why they're going to kill me off soon, and I'll die the way I was supposed to.”
Jasper’s words collapsed into white noise.
Instead, I was someplace else, a memory splintering into dozens of memories.
I was… Clara.
Jamie.
Lily.
Kiera.
Becca.
Elizabeth.
I was running.
Screaming.
A guy was in front of me, tugging my hand.
“The far gate is the exit!” The voice in front was female.
“If we reach it, we’ll get out of here. Just keep running.”
A sharp flash, and I was standing stiff. Upright.
I was moving, a long line of girls in front of me.
I felt them, writhing, entangled around my bones.
Every girl I was made out of.
The cruel needle plunging into the back of her neck, instantly killing her.
A second needle injecting a solution that kept the body alive.
Her thoughts and feelings and sensations.
All of it was kept alive.
Conscious.
The whirring blades coming down and skinning away her face, her eyes, her lips, her screams falling on deaf ears.
Her sculpted body, naked and raw, was shoved forwards.
The next metal arms made sure to stitch up loose skin, adding and removing and slicing away what was no longer needed, adding a metal exoskeleton to assure no damage. Then came clothes, a yellow summer dress, exactly what she was wearing on the day Sam Thwaites dumped her in the rain. The final metal arm was more of a brush, a thing scraping across the face to make sure Brianna was perfect.
When she tumbled off of the conveyor belt, smiling widely, I wasn't Clara, or Jamie, or Lily…
Fuck.
I was Brianna Timberman.
Standing at the end of the line, with his arms folded, was Brianna’s father.
His smile was proud, eyes glinting with madness.
He stroked my face, eyes filling with tears.
“She's perfect.”
The memory shattered, coming apart, when something pricked my neck. There was a blinding white light on me.
“We’ve got her, sir.”
A muffled cry, and I could just see Jasper being wrenched back.
“Hey! I did what you told me to do! The pocket is empty!” his voice deepened into a growl. “Let me go!”
The figure who grabbed him seemed to enjoy his discomfort. She had wandering hands. “Five more seasons, pretty boy.” The woman hummed. “Brianna may have forgiven you, but your debt is with Mr Timberman.”
“Wait! No, we had a fucking deal you piece of– mmppphmmh!”
I was forced onto my stomach. “AND the love interest who appears to be faulty. It's the tracer who was supposed to be following her.” The voice swam in and out, as my mind plunged. *“Yes. I'll get him remodelled immediately. Uh-huh. Brianna is A-okay, sir. Do you have my permission to proceed?”
Autopilot.
This time it was deep, dragging me to impossible depths.
“Brianna!”
Mom’s voice snapped me back to half-fruition.
I was standing in my parent’s hallway in front of Sam.
Sam, who had lowered himself to one knee, a ring pinched between his fingers..
“Say yes!” Mom stood behind me, standing with my brother.
Autopilot.
My lips spread into a smile.
Two bright lights on the two of us.
“Yes.” I whispered, when he wrapped his arms around me. “I'll marry you.”
The walls around us were ooh-ing and ahh-ing.
When the lights switched off, and Sam’s smile stayed plastic and taut, I realized the boy underneath was gone.
But it was when his head was in my chest, did I remember his earlier words.
“Please. Take it.”
Autopilot.
The day skipped forward.
I was only aware of my mother’s hands tangled in my hair.
She was dragging me down the hallway.
“Don't worry Brianna!” She said gleefully, tightening her hold.
“No daughter of mine is this much of a nuisance, and the show must go on!”
I was shoved into a room, on autopilot.
But, after regaining myself, I can break myself out of autopilot.
The medic came to see me.
According to her, I'm slightly severed.
They're going to fix me. Like what they did to Sam.
Look, it's been three hours and I've been thinking about a lot of things. I know you can't save me. I live in the blip of a town, a town you can't find on a Google search. I know I'm a prisoner.
But I think I know how to save myself and the others.
Mainly. I want to cut Brianna Timberman away, and look underneath.
But I'm terrified that under all of these layers? They're will be nothing left.
I've already done most of it. Right now, half of my face is caught under my nails.
But I'm not
Fuck
I can't find me???
Im not bleeding, I can't see anything that looks like ME and when they come back they're going to patch me back up.
They'll stick someone else's flesh over me, and call me Brianna.
But I'm not Brianna?????
I'm not any of those girls, so who am I?

I have always been talked down by my parents and past relationships. I’ve expressed that to my current boyfriend who I’ve been dating for about a year now. It seems like a lot of things trigger him or get him annoyed easily and he lashes out….
The things I love about him: he takes care of me and my cat, he is very respectful, he is very supportive of my career and lifestyle, he has never made me drive LOL, he plans cute dates for us and surprises me with sweet gifts, he’s hard working, funny, my family likes him and we have a lot in common.
Things I don’t love about him: it seems like he likes to be in control of the house, he lashes out on me when he gets angry, he works 7 days a week from midnight until the morning (but i work from home so we get to hang during the day), and our sex life sucks because he says he has low testosterone. We have sex about once a month maybe. There’s no foreplay and it’s so quick. There’s no pleasure for me at all :,)
In the last year, he’s probably lashed out about 10 times. I jokingly called him weird on a date and it triggered him, I didn’t want to leave Disney Tokyo that I paid for at 10AM because he was congested and tired (he called me a weird disney adult and then told me he was dumping me 3 days into our Japan trip???), he didn’t like the way I was folding my laundry into a bag when I was moving because he’s extremely OCD, a few other blow ups, and then just now happened.
I moved in two weeks ago and it’s been fine. We share the same bed. Tonight when he went to sleep, he dropped his remote to his light behind his headboard which is a pain to move. I heard it and got up with him to shine my phone flashlight so he could see and he got angry that I didn’t need to do that, I needed to help him move the bed. So I helped him pull the bed out, got the remote. When we were pushing it back in, the screw that holds the bed frame to the headboard came out and he got so sooo mad. He went crazy on me for not instantly reacting for how to fix the bed. I asked if he wanted me to get a tool kit or what I could do and he yelled outside of our room, hit the wall, and was just yapping. He told me that he has to hold my hand for everything and called me the r word….. he also said my parents raised me this way where I can’t do things on my own. Side note….. his 87 year old grandma comes once a week from an hour away to do his laundry and clean his house. She also pays for his groceries still😭 but if i said that, he would FREAK. anyways….. i asked him why he felt like it was okay to talk to me that way and I’m his girlfriend and he got mad that I asked that. I laid on the couch with my cat and cried and he shut our bedroom door. The door is NEVER shut so basically implying don’t come in.
I genuinely have no idea why he reacts like this or gets so upset by little things. 85% of the time, it’s okay. But I’m always anxious that he’s going to snap by me not being perfect in his eyes. I fear that he’s going to treat this like every time he’s blown up on me, he’s going to be so nice to me and act like it never happened. I don’t know what to do. I want to be with him so bad, but the way he talks to me when he’s angry hurts me a lot….. I don’t know if he really feels that way about me. It makes me feel like shit. I don’t know how we should grow from this. I don’t understand. I could never speak to someone the way I’ve been spoken to my whole life. I feel like the easiest verbal punching bag, and I want to change and I hope he will too…. I understand being angry is valid, he 100% can. It’s whenever it comes to me is whenever it’s not. Any advice helps. Thank you for listening🥺

Just an old story I wrote a while ago. I went exploring for good subreddits to post this in, and I found this one. I don't know if it will exactly fit, since it's a psychological horror story at its core and there's no big bad monster, but I've been told it's chilling all the same ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
If you like this, I might write more horror stuff. I also write non-horror stuff if you're interested. Anyway, enjoy reading my garbage.
The following brain scan was provided by the Terran Institute of Pet Assimilation (TIPA) and the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation (PXAIC) and may only be viewed by qualified and permitted individuals for educational purposes of the study of Xenopet neural interface errors and how to prevent them in the future, as well as expediting the domestication of Xenopets suffering from false sapience. Violating such procedure is a Class C offense by the Protectorate Department of Xenopet Betterment, and can lead to twenty years of imprisonment and a fine of over a hundred thousand credits.
Booting up memory scan: Rocky
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning neural catalog presentation…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My head was spinning, and my skull thumped in pain like an entire herd of freshly captured slaves recently made pet friends were panicking celebrating within. Everything was blurry, so blurry, and I just wanted to close my eyes again and waste away. Sensations assaulted me from all angles, some of them good and some of them bad: the warmth of sun-bleached wooden planks in my feathery hide, the smell of different roasting meats, the splashing of individuals in a small body of water very close by, the smell of the salty air, and the oppressive white brightness of the daylight passing through my closed eyelids. I had a migraine from my sudden consciousness and perception of the light, causing me to clutch my snout and face with my clawed hands with a guttural moan.
My backside hurt as well, in my… area. I didn't know why, but something was horribly wrong everything was fine. I tried to recall who I was and what was going on, but I couldn't even remember my name. Every time I tried, right when I grasped onto a sliver of something, it was as if it was torn from my grasp and replaced with something else knowingly like I was being watched and corrected but within the depths of my own mind.
I needed to remember my name. What was my name? Wasn't it Yuutek Rocky? I couldn't remember exactly, but Yuutek Rocky was the only name I could recall. It felt… wrong, right, like something was missing, but I couldn't put my claw on what. everything was fine, and I shouldn't think about it too much. I could feel things that should have been important, things that my conscious had perceived but a moment ago, slip away from me like I was clenching sand within my claws.
##Relax. Let go of your burden##
I inhaled sharply as a strange, warm feeling overtook the back of my skull and my muscles became loose and relaxed. Something also felt… out of place, like I needed something but I didn't know what. Everything felt so strange. My head spun, but I was too weak to do anything about it. I felt sick in the same way one would feel when they consumed too much caffeine.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my head. "Dad, I think he's awake!" I heard a young, shrill voice say, hurting my ears. The touch of the hand made my skin tingle and the spinning of my head recede as if it grounded me. It felt nice, as if this was wrong, something was horribly wrong what normalcy felt like. The hand then began to rub up and down my head and across the ridges along my head, causing me to release a chuff of delight against my will, something I hadn't done since I was merely a hatchling.
"It sounds like he likes it, David; keep going, and make sure to scratch his chin, they're sensitive there."
The human spawn, David, did what the other human said and began to scratch under my chin. It felt really good, and I stretched out instinctively. David was thorough and gentle, making sure he scratched every part of me that seemed itchy, and I felt the same warmth in my head from before, but it felt… nicer than before like it was trying to manipulate encouraging me to relax.
##You will learn to love this##
I inhaled sharply again, but this time it was almost refreshing, and everything was right in the world. The human's hands felt so good, and the warmth from before spread through my body, melting the knots in my muscles and causing me to close my eyes in comfort. The boy lifted my head up and placed it in his lap before continuing to pet me, my eyelids heavy and my leg lightly kicking.
##Let them continue. You love this##
Oh, that felt nice… what was I thinking about before? The pain on my backside? My legs didn't work too well, and although I could move them gently, my muscles seemed to be fighting against me. What did they do?
##Do not think##
Everything was cold and harsh again, and my thoughts scrambled and my head throbbed. I needed to focus on grounding myself. I couldn't let go, I couldn't let them take my mind from me.
##Do not think. You are a good boy.##
I… I was a good boy? I… I can't… I… no…
##Good boy.##
I was a good boy… good boys don't think hard… I don't…
##Good boy##
I was a good boy… I was a good boy…
I was… I was… a good… boy…
I'm scared.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Who was I again?
##You are Rocky##
I hissed under my breath as I felt that bad feeling creep up on me again. I didn't like the bad feeling. I was not Rocky! I was Yuutek! Rocky.
My thoughts became jumbled again in a whirlpool of nausea and confusion.
Where was I?
##You are home.##
It was bright out, and nice and warm as well. The sun was soaking my feather-cloaked skin and my side felt good against the warm back porch. I heard splashing and laughing in the distance, and the soft clinking of glass against glass. I could smell the salinity in the air, and the air was dense and humid but in a good way.
I had lost all sense of time. Everything had been a blur since I had been taken from that horrid facility, the wretched prison they called the Xenopet-Megaplex. There, I was in a padded cell with a few insulting amenities for most of the day, except for the three periods a day where they let us out into a small gated courtyard for an hour or so to 'socialize' as they had so condescendingly put it. There, the worst part was the boredom and the mind-bending lack of individuality: I had lost my ability to speak, stand on two legs, and even eat normally. I was treated like cattle, but the smiles and cloying gestures hinted that something even more sinister was going on, like I was a lesser beast to be kept for their amusement.
Now I had traded that particular prison for another, far worse one: I was at the mercy of a gross violation of my sense of self. Something horrible was growing in my mind, both in the physical and metaphysical sense, and I could feel it working its way through my consciousness like the parasite it was. It silenced me, it stole from me, it gaslit me, and it made me question the very nature of my own individuality and personality: was I who I thought I was? Everything was so elusive and hard to acknowledge that nothing seemed real between these bouts of semi-consciousness.
##Don't think, just rest.##
In an instant, everything changed. My head became… fuzzy like a thousand voices were whispering to me all at once, but from all directions and inside my head. I didn't hear it, per se, but I felt the presence, the oppressive feeling of pure unfocused nonsense. I felt my temporary bout of concentration and resolve become jumbled up into a mess of sporadic confusion. Whatever I was just thinking of was gone.
##Don't think: Just relax. Let go of your burden.##
Every part of me became relaxed and limp, my muscles unwinding from their tension and stress. I couldn't resist the feeling, and I stretched out subconsciously with a yawn, my body twitching from the stimuli. I was even sleepier than before, my head spinning once again and my eyelids heavy.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my snout and forced the eye that was facing upwards to open sluggishly. If I had to guess, it was an older human with cinnomon-colored skin, short-cropped brown hair, a gruff, wrinkled face, and chocolate brown eyes. He patted my side gently and gave me a soft rub, the feeling of his rough hands causing my chest to rumble with a satisfied chuff. I hated loved that it felt good, but I hated loved it even more that I couldn't bring myself to resist I felt content. I needed to escape relax, and I needed to find my way home appreciate my new life.
##You are already home##
No, I couldn't will not obey
This isn't is my home, my home is [Redacted] here.
No! Yes, I won't will obey!
YOU CAN'T SILENCE ME!
##Do not resist. Resistance is wrong. Good boys do not resist##
Suddenly, I felt an intense pressure in my skull, but I didn't know where it came from. I became dizzy, and my eyes twitched, a rapidly growing pain intensely forming in my forehead, causing me to wince and clutch my snout in my claws. I couldn't concentrate, and I felt the horrible sensation of an invasive presence in my mind once again working its way through the folds of my brain, strangling my chain of thought. Bile grew in my throat and I felt the sour, stinging sensation of a building retch in my cheeks.
I scrambled onto all fours and vomited onto the deck, my hackles and feathers rising as I heaved. The older human from earlier rose from a sleek chair on the deck, his hat on the glass sun table next to him and his eyes widened in shock. He rushed over to me, and I hissed at him instinctively. I wouldn't let him touch me again. I wouldn't let them control me.
##Do not attack owner##
In an instant, my world transformed into absolute pain. I felt as if my brain was being deep fried in a vat of boiling grease, and my eyes were being squeezed in vices. I kept heaving, my stomach doing loops and somersaults around all my other organs, and my heart fluttering like a flock of startled birds. It was weightlessness. I could see the man approach me and push me back down on my side, muttering under his breath.
"Carol! Get Xenopet emergency services on the phone, Rocky's having another implant attack!"
I heard another muffled voice in the background, as well as the sound of the human spawns crying in the pool. For some reason, I felt bad: I'd never felt bad for humans before, but I could feel the guilt in my chest. Had I failed my owners?
##Breath. Calm. Let Go##
I felt like I was wrestling with my own mind. I wanted to believe that I was not someone's pet, but my body screamed otherwise: amidst the chaos caused by the wretched implant, I felt the painful sensation of guilt and regret bloom in my chest as I twitched and shuddered on the deck, my mouth frothing. The world was spinning, and suddenly everything erupted into a kaleidoscope of colors.
Oh, by the forbidden one, look at all the pretty colors! I was completely delusional at this point, cackling as I lost it all. If I was going to die here, I'd die happy and completely mad.
Soon, everything began to fade away, and I slipped into an unconscious state.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up to the sound of medical equipment beeping and whirring, the sound of a few hushed human voices, and soft music.
I opened my eyes: the room was dark. I didn't feel anywhere near as bad as before, but my head still throbbed. I lifted up my head with a groan and examined the room: it was a dark hospital room, with a window covered in blinds that let very little sunlight in, a few chairs, and of course the hospital bed itself. Mountains of advanced medical equipment were set up on either side of my bed, and a heartbeat monitor beeped slowly, although the speed was growing.
Suddenly, I heard the voices again, and this time they were legible.
"Hush, he's awake: we need to make sure he's ready."
Huh? Ready for what?
Something that irked me was I felt strangely… free. I didn't feel the oppressive force of the implant in the back of my skull anymore, how it attempted to crush my will with every waking moment. I still couldn't speak: all that came out were animalistic noises, but I was free from the invasion of my mind for now.
"Give him some peace, Emilia, he just woke up from an implant attack; you know how traumatic they can be."
"We have to begin soon; my dissertation for this new technique is due in less than a week, and by law I need at least one more successful example for it to be deemed acceptable! Besides, he needs to go home soon anyway."
My heart sank. I would not go back to that place. I wouldn't let those people keep me like some kind of pet: I was a Russu; a member of a proud warrior race! I would not be reduced to some animal for the amusement of these humans!
Suddenly, I heard footsteps, and I tensed. The door creaked open and I spotted a younger human, a male I had never met before, in a lab outfit with his shoes, pants, shirt, and overcoat all bleached white and almost glistening. He eyed me warily, as he should, before he sauntered in, a tablet clipped at his side and a strange plastic container in both hands. I growled at him threateningly, extending my talons and raising my feathered hackles. The human paused for a microsecond before continuing forward, caution in his eyes, and right before he was within swiping range he opened the container and the most wonderful smell assaulted my nostrils.
Meat.
I was starving. I don't remember the last time I had eaten anything in particular: the implant had a terrible habit of causing me to go about my day in a hazy blur: entire lengths of time just… gone, whitewashed like a sheet of freshly decorated paper dunked in cold water. I knew something was there, or at least that something should have been there, but I mostly spent the days or weeks that I had been captured bobbing like an ocean buoy in a state of frustratingly bleary semi-consciousness.
But I'm awake now and mostly in control. Sure, some things were still missing everything was clear now, like my name: What was my name again? My name was Rocky. And now I knew that I needed to eat something, and if putting up with this human for now meant that I could fill my stomach, then I suppose that it was an acceptable sacrifice.
I salivated expectantly as the human lifted out a large piece of meat with his gloved hand, eyeing me humorously as he wiggled it. It was dark on the outside, but still dripping with blood and juices: humans had this weird habit of cooking their meats, and although it didn't taste bad at all cooked, nothing beat the feeling and flavor of tearing into raw flesh, the blood and the texture still fresh. At least this meat only seemed to be raw and not fully cooked.
I snapped up the piece of meat just as he lowered it enough for me to reach it. It was divine! It burst with flavor just as I bit into it, the juices spilling into my mouth. I quickly tore it apart with my strong jaws before snapping up another big piece with a beak-like protrusion at the tip of my snout. All the while, the human gently ran his fingers through my tightly-knit feathers and along my knobby, scaly hide. I made my annoyance with his touch clear, but he merely chuckled as if I wasn't an apex predator larger than him but rather simply a feisty hatchling.
"I know, I know, just relax. I need to perform a quick test to see if you're healthy before we continue."
Continue? Continue with what?
Just as the second piece of meat slid down my gullet, I eyed him with hostility and growled, but he quickly slipped something between the scales and feathers on my side and plunged it into my skin. Suddenly, I went rigid, and all the air was expelled from my lungs in an instant with a hoarse wheeze. The human merely chuckled and scratched under my chin as if nothing was wrong and my face wasn't frozen in horror.
"Good, that'll keep you occupied for a few seconds while I just slip this on…" he placed a breathing mask over my face and strapped it on before flicking a switch on a machine next to my bed. Then he released the plunger of the strange device on my side and I suddenly inhaled deeply and deflated like a balloon. I hissed under my breath, but suddenly panic filled my chest: I wasn't breathing just air. A cloyingly sweet-smelling gas coated the inside of my lungs, causing me to become dizzy. Suddenly, I was fully at their mercy again, blinking rapidly and my head spinning.
"Sorry about that, big guy, but we need to make sure you're passive before we begin the procedure." He said, almost apologetically, although there was a hint of mirth still detectable. "Sadly, you have to remain awake for some of it or I'd simply feed you more and then put you to sleep, but there are some benefits to this inhalant."
As if he summoned it with his words alone, my scales suddenly felt very… tingly. The human ran his hands across the scales at my side and I shivered from the feeling, like pain but better. Everything felt so warm and strange like I was floating on water, but also like I was being gently prodded by blades. Then, with panic rising in my chest, I suddenly felt a soft click as something was plugged into the neural port at the back of my skull that the humans had installed into my head when they had first captured me and placed me in that wretched facility some time ago.
"There you go, all prepped for the Doctor. She'll be here to begin the procedure in a bit." He said, "For now just relax and let the inhalants work their magic."
I whined quietly, and he rubbed the side of my head in an attempt to calm me which only made me more angry. I wasn't someone's pet! I wouldn't be treated like this!
I didn't want to go back to where I was before! I didn't want to become that sluggish, broken puppet again! I couldn't!
I tried to get up, to will my muscles to move, but I couldn't: my body refused to respond, as if I was paralyzed. But that wasn't right: I still could feel everything, especially the strange, mind-bending sensations the inhalants gave me.
##Initializing beginning phases of Neural Alteration Preparation##
Something else is wrong, I can feel it
##Assessing if the neural state is nominal for Alterations##
I can't let this happen, they're going to do something to me! I won't let them!
But nothing happened. I was at their mercy. It was over for good this time.
All those battles, all those tragedies and triumphs amongst my kin, only for me to be reduced to this? The plaything for a human?
##Query: is [Dr. Kalenghari] present to begin Neural Alterations?##
The door across the room opened again, and a human woman with light brown skin, chocolate brown eyes and long locks of black hair stepped in. She was holding a digi-pad in her hands and swiping up as if she was reading into something before she set it down on the counter across the room and gave me a warm, condescending smile.
"Well, how are we doing today, Rocky? I know, this predicament you have found yourself in must be very stressful, but I assure you that it's for your own good," She said, almost cheerfully, which sent shivers down my spine, "we're here to lift your burden, and we won't stop until you're capable of living the life of a happy, healthy, and well-behaved pet."
I whined under the mask, and the woman rubbed the feathered crest on my forehead. "I know, it hurts, but it'll be all over soon. It'll be like you, or at least this version of you, never existed. Just relax and close your eyes while we root around your brain and remove all those bad thoughts and silly delusions: I assure you, you won't feel a thing, and you'll feel much better afterward."
My heart raced and I began to panic internally, watching in horror as the woman stepped over to the medical console and tapped away for a few seconds before the machinery around me began to whir to life.
##Identification accepted: booting neurochemical firmware. Preparing for selective memory erasure.##
In an instant, my eyes involuntarily rolled back into my head as I felt the intrusive sensation of my mind being violated. It wasn't painful, but it was horrible all the same: it felt like a thousand black, slimy leeches were slithering through every crevice of my brain, leaving behind their cold, corruptive filth. The cold sensation seeped further into my brain, behind my eyes, and in my ears, enveloping every bit of it until there was nothing left.
##Relevant memories extracted for tailoring. Beginning total memory erasure.##
Suddenly, things just began to slip away: important memories, like the faces of my parents, the day of my initiation into the Corsair Collective, the face of my life mate, the birth of our hatchlings. I hoped that wherever they were, they were okay: if they never had to face the fate I would face, then maybe there would be some justice in this cruel, twisted galaxy. Maybe they could take the fight to humanity, remind them that they once had been the heroes of the cosmos, fighting against the cruelty of my people and the Triarchy at large. Maybe my hatchlings could live normal lives.
##Memory erasure process at 47%##
A single tear rolled down my scaly cheek as everything I once knew, everything that made me was torn from my mind and rendered null. Every second saw a million memories massacred, leaving the memories the implant had attempted to supplant my old memories with: Me playing fetch with my 'owners', chasing birds on the beach with my 'owner's' grandchildren, swimming in the pool in their backyard as steaks and bratwurst cooked on the grill, relaxing on the back porch and listening to the rasping calls of the katydids during humid summer evenings by the swamps. My psyche was being mutilated piece by piece, reduced to that of an animal, a pet.
##Memory erasure process at 64%##
Soon I had a hard time telling who I was anymore. I couldn't tell what was real or what wasn't, or what I actually felt. I couldn't even remember my own name anymore. Who was I? Why was I here? What was happening to me? I'm so scared, someone help me, please!
##Memory erasure process at 83%##
There was nothing left. I felt nothing. I knew nothing. I was floating in a void, with little flashes of light depicting events I didn't recognize. There were people I felt like I was supposed to know, but I didn't know them. A human woman with bright blue eyes and blonde hair. Two Russu hatchlings that looked a bit like me. A Russu female… my chest hurt for a moment but the feeling quickly subsided. I didn't know any of them.
##Memory erasure process completed. Implanting tailored memories and personality. Happy birthday, [Rocky]: you have been unburdened and reborn.##
In an instant, the confusion of who I was before was replaced with absolute certainty: I knew who I was now, who I always was:
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy. I belonged to Mr. And Mrs. Chen. I was their Russu hound. I loved them: they took care of me and let me play with their grandchildren. I swam in the pool and played outside every day. Life was good. Today was my birthday! That meant it would be a happy day! Mrs. Chen would always come home with a whole duck for me to eat and then take me to the Xenopet Comex for a bath and a spa day, just like my last birthday, and the birthday before that, and the birthday before that! It was a good life. I was happy. I was always happy. Good boys were always happy.
I was Rocky, and I was a good boy: that's all that mattered.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To Miguel O'Hara, Chief Medical Representative of the Protectorate Xenopet Acquisition and Integration Corporation, with the best of intentions.
The over-reliance on neural suppressant firmware programs along with thought scrubbing/replacement firmware programs and countermeasures towards higher thought and tainted thoughts with a relatively active hormonal reward structure can be incredibly effective when placed into the brain of a more passive Xenopets. However, Xenopets that come from more… difficult backgrounds such as one in a militant setting tend to be much more resistant to being reprogrammed by just an implant alone. The Russu are an excellent example of more tainted Xenos that need neurological care of much higher intensity, a level of care that the average Xenopet-Megaplex is ill-equipped to handle due to the current level of technology.
I am a firm believer in the idea that thought correction, a hormonal behavioral reinforcement structure, and neural countermeasures can have a place in the proper unburdening process but we have been chasing the wrong solution for the past century: Many people are under the misconception that the burden these Xenos carry is surface level when in reality the corruption runs far deeper: it is like a weed, with deep roots. To kill the weed permanently, you must rip out the roots, and not just the surface plant. If you do not eliminate the source of the problem, it may just return and worse still the mind may adapt to the standard unburdening process, allowing the xenopets to fall victim to those degenerate zealots who seek to pretend xenopets possess even the capacity for true sentience. We as Terrans should be united in this cause of unburdening the galaxy, but I digress.
The implants should be there to reinforce good behavior and stigmatize bad behavior, not completely reprogram the pet. To fully stamp out any potential for a relapse, we must remove the core issue that has the most potential to cause problems: their memories. The Russu are an excellent example
We are in the advanced testing stages of a new method that may revolutionize how we process and integrate xenopets into our society. By removing or modifying any and all problematic memories, we can completely remove the risk of relapse and make it nearly impossible for those misguided degenerate rebels to bring to the surface problematic ideas and memories that could reawaken a sense of false sentience. It is the perfect, final solution to our overarching goal: for humanity to unburden the galaxy, one happy pet at a time.
We hope to secure more funding from PXAIC that will greatly assist us in the expansion of the possibilities that this breakthrough technique can provide, more than just using it on board-approved fringe cases. Think about the many Xenopets we can unburden, and how they'll live happy and ignorant lives with their human owners! This could be a game changer, Representative, and I implore you to bring it before the board with the best of intentions.
Best regards,
Dr. Emilia Kalenghari, Head Researcher of the Epsilon Eridani Institute's Behavioral Neurology and Neurochemistry Division (BNND).