1tar tattoos on side

[INDEX]
I banked the fire and stared into the golden eyes of Beatale before I crept into my makeshift tent.
I still had my auric vision running and couldn’t help but notice the thin silver cord that ran from me to Horse. Firming up my aura, I reached out with my hand and grabbed it. I could feel the nearly imperceptible vibration between my fingers as I used my mind to probe at the thread. I could feel a bright spark of intellect, a light at the end of a tunnel. Pushing with my mind, I slid down the thread until the spark grew larger and eventually filled my inner vision with a hazy white light. Horsey thoughts nudged at me curiously.
I slid into the haze and immediately lost all sense of direction. If it wasn’t for the silver thread, I’d have no idea how to exit this shifting white fog. Horsey thoughts got stronger as I followed the thread while the haze thinned and cleared to reveal an endless prairie of green grass. I found myself standing before a naked man wearing a horse mask and I stared in shock. It was obviously me wearing a cheap costume horse mask — there was no mistaking my tattoos.
“What did you expect?” Horse neighed at me. “I am you and you are me and we are all together. Goo goo ga joob.”
Horse made a shooing motion with his hands and I accelerated backwards through the white haze and slammed into my own body with a gasp. I stared at the tarp overhead for a long minute, processing this new revelation. Horse was a part of me, a piece of my spirit. Whatever psychic stuff I did with that silver cord lead me into a house of mirrors where I got to look at myself pretending to be a horse. I can’t even deal with that right now.
Rolling into my blankets, I dropped off to sleep.
*Ding*
-=- - Welcome to the Dreamworld - Included in the Psychic Skills pack, the Inner Sanctum is your psychic domain. It is the mental fortress that you must secure and maintain to defend against psychic and spiritual assaults. All of your neurosis and fears are symbolised in this realm and must be defeated or subjugated before you can become master of the domain. Good luck. -=-
I banished the pop-up and looked around. I knew I was asleep, but everything was just as real as when I was awake. I was breathing, I could feel the floor under my feet, and if it weren’t for the pop-up, I would have sworn I had been teleported. The room I was in resembled an oversized luxury prison cell, maybe a thirty foot cube. No windows. Rough stone walls with thick mortar. Large brass wall sconces were set directly into the stone and suffused the room with a warm, golden light provided by glowing rocks. The stone floor had colourful Persian rugs tastefully placed. A high plaster ceiling was painted with a rendition of Michelangelo’s ‘Creation of Adam’, depicting me as both Adam and God.
There was a comfy sofa in front of a large screen television that hung from one wall and an ornate grandfather clock ticked loudly in the corner. It was currently 10:08 PM. Another wall was a floor to ceiling bookshelf, stuffed with books of varying sizes. The third wall was covered with pictures and I could see at a glance that they were images from my life. The fourth wall had a thick riveted steel door on the right side, a full sized mirror on the left, and a computer workstation in the middle.
The picture wall was my first target. A few were quite large, nearly life sized, while others were tiny prints no larger than the palm of my hand. Scenes of my life were displayed in each one. The largest was me riding Horse with a shit-scared expression, shooting at a pack of wolves. Others were smaller, each with different frames. Some ornate gold or silver, others plain wood, a few wrapped in briars or barbed wire. Nanny Ramsey holding me as a young child. My dog Jean with a red ball in his mouth. My parents, screaming at me. I turned my attention to the books. Books are safe. Books don’t judge you.
The sweet, musty scent of a used book store filled my nostrils as I drew close to the honey coloured shelves. Hundreds of volumes filled the wall from floor to ceiling, with a ladder that could be rolled along a rail to access the top. I smiled at the sight. I had always wanted a library like this. I pulled a book at random and read the title, “Confused Fantasies about Joseph Harris, part XXIV of the Middle School Years”.
I slid the book back onto the shelf. Let’s see what’s on TV.
The remote was a slim, futuristic looking affair with a minimum of buttons. I pointed it at the television and moments later the huge screen came to life and presented me with a simple menu for movies, divided into six categories: Happy, Surprised, Afraid, Disgusted, Angry, and Sad. I scrolled through the offerings for a minute, reading the titles and reviews about the movies of my life. It really bothered me that there were so few selections in the Happy section.
The number of Sad movies increased by one.
I walked over to the mirror and noticed there was a small sticky note pasted to it. “Astral Realm. Experienced users only.” I shoved the note in my pocket and stared at my image. Sturdy black boots, black denim jeans and shirt with mother-of-pearl buttons, deep brown gun belt slung at my hip, red bandanna and black felt hat. All I needed was a pencil moustache and I would look like the stereotypical villain in any spaghetti western. At that very moment I decided to grow out a goatee. I’d rather be mistaken for a bad guy than a victim.
So how does this astral realm thing work?
The mirror appeared to be nothing more than a mirror. It was cold, smooth glass surrounded by a wrought iron frame, and reflected my image. I didn’t necessarily want to go walking into danger, but I wanted to know how it worked. I pushed and prodded the glass in frustration until I noticed my image grinning at me. I jumped back in surprise and it doubled over in silent laughter.
“Hilarious, dude. You got me,” I huffed. “So how do I get in?”
My mirror-self tipped his hat and stepped to side.
I reached up to the mirror again and my hand passed through, vanishing as if cut off. Okay, just a quick peek and we’ll explore the rest of the room. I stepped through and the world shifted around me. I was standing back at the campsite. My body was insubstantial as a ghost and the tarp was a wisp of substance running straight through me. Non living things don’t seem to have much presence in this realm. Glancing down, I saw my sleeping body rolled up in the blankets, a thin silver thread running from it to me, and another thread running to Horse.
Looking around, I surveyed the campsite. My astral vision seemed to be on and had an unlimited range. I could see the life all around me, the distant forest was a sea of greenish-gold, grasses and brush nearby glowed with spectral light. Tiny ghost insects scurried while ghost mice nibbled at whatever ghost mice nibble on. Ghost seeds and ghost insects, I suppose. I turned my attention overhead and gaped at the sight of a monstrous serpentine spirit flying through the inky void. I dropped back through the tent and rolled inside my body. That was plenty enough for now.
I rolled through the mirror and landed flat on my back, staring at the fresco on the ceiling. Vinnie-God winked at me and Vinnie-Adam grinned. Climbing to my knees, I brushed non-existent dust from my trousers and watched mirror-me doubled over in soundless laughter.
“Hey, laughing-boy!” I yelled at him. “You’re like the guardian or something, right? You got it covered?”
Mirror-me stood and saluted with a smile, then gave me two thumbs up. A moment later, his face took on a serious expression and he wriggled his right hand in the ‘maybe’ motion. Then he pointed at me, tapped his wrist, and then a finger to his head.
It all depends on how fast I learn stuff, I guess.
Two thumbs up and a winning smile reflected back to me.
A large cork board was mounted to the wall over the computer and a small note was pinned to it. “Note to self: Don’t fuck with the Elvish womens.”
The computer screen featured a screensaver of me as Vitruvian Man doing callisthenics over the words ‘HumanOS’. I tapped the spacebar and was rewarded with the sound of powerful fans kicking to life as the computer emerged from sleep mode and prompted me for a password. Should I assume it’s the same as the password on the computer I pawned in my previous life?
Password: *******esi
I was rewarded with a sweet R&M desktop and a couple of icons. System, NeuralNet, My-Tunes, My-Movies, My-Office.
System was just what I expected, lots of .dna files and other confusing scariness that allowed me to tweak my physical body and mental state. My-Tunes was a collection of every song I’d ever heard and My-Movies was a collection of every movie I’d ever seen. Not that I’m complaining, but it would have been nice to have “My-Games” so I could play RDR. My-Office was a clone of the popular software by a similar name. I have no idea what I’ll ever need a spreadsheet for in this world.
NuralNet opened up a search engine called Me-Seeks, featuring a familiar blue guy.
I typed in “beer” and several thousand results were displayed, anything I’d ever read, heard, or watched about beer, including how to make it. This right here made the price of admission totally worth it, access to an exact copy of everything I’d ever read, and I was a voracious reader. Sadly, most of the stuff I read was futurology — solar panels, electronics, biotech advancements, quantum computing. The material for steam engines, blacksmithing, farming and the like, were slim pickings. That’s okay though, I could still reproduce the Gutenberg press, the cotton gin, simple internal combustion engines, and basic batteries along with some sketchy knowledge of metal alloys, acids, bases, and other things I had read over the years. All that wasted time watching “How Things Work” was finally going to pay off. I copied a few likely money makers to My-Office, saved the file, and exported to my Notes, just in case they didn’t exist on Aerth.
A popup covered the screen.
📱 [New Upgrade Available!] 📱
🎉 Enhance Your Experience with the Latest HumanOS Features! 🎉
🌟 Features Include:

• 🧠 Memory Booster: Increase your Memory for smoother multitasking and improved performance.
• 🔋 Energy Optimizer: Extend your battery life with advanced power-saving techniques.
• 🛠️ Utility Upgrades: Access new apps and utilities to enhance your daily life and adventures.
• 🗺️ Advanced Mapping: Never get lost again with enhanced GPS and location tracking.

🔥 Special Offer: Only 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0! 🔥
[Upgrade Now ✅] [Remind Me Later ❌]
Apparently I could upgrade myself, which reduced the cost of using my Utilities while providing other minor benefits. My Utilities would level up as I used them, which would increase their battery cost, so if I didn’t keep pace with an update to the OS they could become prohibitively expensive to operate.
Stupid pay-to-win world.
So, do I pay 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0?
I selected version 3.0 and klicked [Install]. After watching it download the update, it popped up another screen that asked if I wanted to update now, or wait until Midnight for the mandatory update.
I selected [No] just as the grandfather clock chimed 10:30 PM. I wondered if time ran slower in here, because it seemed like I had spent a lot more time on the computer than 15 minutes. Walking over to the imposing steel door, I noticed a bronze key with a thin chain in the lock. There was another sticky note on the door. “Subconscious. Please keep the key with you at all times.”
That’s not scary at all, is it?
I unlocked the door with a loud clunk and pulled it open to reveal a bedroom straight out of some royal castle. I could tell immediately that it had seen better days. The tapestries on the wall were frayed and fading. The canopy over the bed had a few holes in it. A thin layer of dust covered the mantle of a small fireplace set into the wall. There was a window letting in bright sunlight and I moved over to look outside.
I was on the third floor of a keep surrounded by the walls and turrets of a modest castle. A castle that had fallen into serious disrepair. Did this represent the state of my inner mind? One tower was shattered and the curtain wall under it damaged. The lower bailey was full of litter. I could see a few soldiers walking around the allure, keeping watch.
I have people in my subconscious?
Someone behind me cleared their throat.
Whirling, I discovered a familiar old man standing in the door of the bedroom. What was left of his hair formed a white halo around his head, his face was unshaven and covered with several days of growth. He was dressed like a poor and tattered manservant, but carried himself with a dignified air.
“Woodhouse?”
“It’s nice to see the master at home,” He said with a proper English accent. “There are many matters that require the master’s attention.”
“Uh, sure,” I said, hanging the key around my neck and tucking it in my shirt. “And who are you again?”
“Your personal manservant, of course” he said with a slight bow. Walking over to the steel door, he pulled it closed and it locked with a solid thunk. “Master should always keep his inner sanctum closed. One never knows if something nasty will creep in.”
“Thank you, uh, Woodhouse. I’ll remember that,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “So what needs tending and how do things work around here?”
He smiled and beckoned me with a white gloved hand. “If master would be so kind as to follow me, I’ll introduce him to the staff and explain the duties and obligations of his domain.”
I’m 99.9% certain that everyone here is just me wearing a mask, so I shrugged and followed Woodhouse out of the bedroom and into the rest of my subconscious.
Five minutes later I was on the ground floor and seated on a shabby throne with the cast of a popular —and probably very copyright protected— animation in front of me. Woodhouse was the head butler and my personal manservant. Pam was the cook and demanded that I start importing sugar and alcohol before she was shushed by Woodhouse. Carol was a maid. Krieger was chancellor and Cyril was the steward. Archer and Lana were in charge of security. Ray was the marshal in charge of everything from the stables to the blacksmith.
I stared in disbelief at the motley crew kneeling in front of me. No wonder my inner mind was in such shambles. I was overcome with an irrational sense of anger at myself.
“Arright, listen up,” I barked, my voice echoing around the room. “I swear to God that I will fire every single one of you and hire circus clowns to replace you if you keep fucking things up. No joke. Circus clowns, got it?”
I ran a hand over my face as Ray pissed himself. “The only reason I’m not putting a boot in your asses right now is because I realise that you’re aspects of me, and the people you represent are pretty damn good at their jobs when they give enough of a shit to actually do them. As a team, you’re dysfunctionally fantastic and always seem to come out ahead no matter the odds.”
Heaving a sigh, I continued. “Things have changed and I need to get my shit together. I’m going to need every one of you to pull your weight and help me help you. Get back to your duties, I’ll meet you one on one later.”
My subconscious caretakers scurried out of the room.
“I’ll have one of the maids tend to the piss,” Woodhouse assured me.
“Never mind that,” I snapped. “I honestly had no idea my mind was such a shit show. I’m very disappointed in myself.” I pictured the Angry, Sad, and Disgusted counters on my personal movies clicking up. “Show me what needs to be done and let’s get started.”
During Woodhouse’s walking tour, everything clicked into place. This was some altered version of Bodiam castle, a location that was on my bucket list of places to visit. The royal council room, located behind the throne room, contained a “living” tapestry on the wall that showed the castle and surrounding land in real time. The castle was located in the middle of a small lake, and a single wood bridge led to the mainland. A small town surrounded the lake and a wall encircled the town. Outside the wall, the land was an irregular patchwork of forest and field, with a stinking swamp to the south. The entire “kingdom” was maybe ten miles across, surrounded by impassable mountains with innumerable creeks that fed the lake which drained into the southern swamp.
“Zombies are the problem, sir.” Woodhouse said, as I surveyed the living tapestry of my mental domain.
“Zombies?” I prompted.
“Yes sir, Zombies” Woodhouse continued. “Nasty bitey things that come in from the mountains and harass the peasants. They’ve gotten especially worse over the last few months. The soldiers do what they can, but they seem to have lost all motivation. Probably because they haven’t been paid.”
“And who pays them?”
“Typically chancellor Krieger is in charge of financial matters, although Steward Figgis has taken over the duty, sir.”
“Then let’s make Figgis our first stop.”
“Very good, sir.”
The office of the steward was run by Cyril Figgis, who managed the kingdom in my absence. It was overflowing with paperwork and charts, books and scrolls piled high on every flat surface. Cyril was desperately attempting to tidy things when Woodhouse and I walked in.
“Yo..you..your majesty,” Cyril stuttered, bowing low. Scrolls fell from his overloaded arms, spilling across the floor. He dropped to his knees and scrambled to gather them up. “I didn’t expect you to visit so soon. Please forgive the mess, housekeeping has been slacking…”
This was the guy who ran things while I was conscious.
“Shut up, Cyril” I said. “You’re responsible for everything in this office. That includes keeping it organised and tidy.”
“Y..yes milord.”
“It’s my understanding that you’re in charge of making sure everyone gets paid. So why aren’t we paying people?” I asked.
“We’re nearly out of Fuks, your majesty. I’ve been saving them for emergencies.”
“Fucks?”
“Fuks,” Cyril explained, pushing a pile of books off a large chest and opening it. Reaching inside he pulled out two small bags and emptied them on top of his cluttered desk. “Gold and Silver Fuks, the currency of the kingdom. I can’t maintain the kingdom when I have no Fuks to give.”
Behold the subconscious kingdom of Vincent J. Carter, it runs on Fuks.
“So how do I get more fuks?” I asked, examining one of the coins. It had an image of me on one side and symbol on the other that could be interpreted as “peace among worlds”.
“You kill the zombies, your majesty.”
Of course I do.
Woodhouse and I left Cyril’s office and headed towards the office of the chancellor where Krieger worked. It seemed that Cyril took over financial matters when Krieger became erratic and proposed luring all the zombies into the city and setting it on fire. Not sure how that corresponds to my own self-destructive behaviour, but I’ve had some dark thoughts over the last couple of months and I’m sure they’re reflected here.
Krieger’s office was much neater in comparison to Cyril’s, but it wasn’t by much. Shelves lined the walls and were filled with an array of questionable items, including a still snapping zombie head in a jar. While the office of the chancellor was supposed to be in charge of financial matters, it looked more like a dodgy rummage sale.
Krieger was launching sword blades at a pig carcass when we walked in.
“What exactly are you doing?” I asked, standing in the doorway.
“Hm? Oh, your majesty!” he said, turning around and bowing deeply. “I’m testing a new invention. It’s a spring loaded hilt that shoots sword blades. Very useful for our soldiers.”
“Stupidest idea ever,” I snapped. “I hate everything about it.”
“Okay,” Krieger said, tossing the hilt into a nearby pile of junk. “But don’t blame me when you need to shoot a sword at a zombie and don’t have one.”
“So why aren’t you managing the financial affairs? Collecting taxes, paying people, stuff like that?”
“Because the population has declined so much none of that matters?”
“What do you mean?”
“Wellll, the population represents things you care about,” Krieger said, going into lecture mode. “And the zombies and other monsters are real or imagined problems in your way. Since you don’t care about too many things the population has shrunk to just what’s needed to keep everything running on the bare minimum of fuks. And since you don’t seem to have any long or short term goals, there’s no need to kill off the zombies and get more fuks. Everything is fine just the way it is.”
“No, it’s not Krieger” I said, grinding my teeth. “My mind is in a shambles. It’s a joke. I want it fixed. No, I want it better than fixed. I want it improved.”
“Oh! I’ve got just the thing for that!” He said, digging around in his pockets, “It’s a spring-loaded hilt that shoots swords!”
Pam and Cheryl were hanging out a gallery window jeering at Archer and Lana sparring in the inner courtyard.
“What the hell are you doing!” I snapped
They whirled in surprise and then dropped into deep curtseys.
“Your majesty!”
I took a deep breath, trying to regain my centre. “Get to work cleaning this place up. Find a room, clean it, and move on to the next. Start with my bedroom, then the throne room and the council chamber, then everything else.”
Cheryl spoke up. “Can’t do it. We got no fuks to clean with.”
“You need fuks to clean?”
“Gotta buy stuff,” Pam said. “Cleaning supplies, food. You wanna eat, you’re gonna have to spend some fuks.”
“Talk to Cyril,” I ordered. “Tell him I said to get you supplied.”
They ran off in the direction of the stewards office.
I watched Archer and Lana bashing each other enthusiastically through the window.
Several minutes later the sparring couple stopped and bowed when Woodhouse and I stepped into the inner courtyard.
“Your majesty”
“My liege”
“Enough,” I said. “If you have enough energy to smash each other, you have enough energy to smash zombies. Tell me what I need to know so I can start gathering fuks.”
Archer shrugged and spoke first. “You just kill the zombies and other monsters. They drop fuks.”
“Anything special about the zombies?” I asked. “Are they fast? Do people get turned into zombies when bitten?”
“Nope,” Lana said, resting her wooden sword on her shoulder. “Most of them are slow shamblers and just need a good wack to the head to kill them.”
“Some are special,” Archer interjected. “Occasionally you’ll have some fast ones, or those that need holy water to kill. They’re just bad memories, figments of your personality that need to be eliminated. Some are worse than others.”
“The zombies are bad memories?” I asked, imagining all the bad memories that I had.
“Memories, thoughts, insecurities, metaphysical mumbo-jumbo,” Woodhouse supplied. “They are endless, but constant vigilance can keep them under control.”
“So let’s get started,” I said. “Lead the way.”
Lana and Archer lead me up to the parapet over the front gate where I looked over at the dozens of zombies milling about aimlessly in front of the entrance to my mind. Pulling out my gun, I began to pick them off, easy as shooting fish in a barrel. The crack of my spell pistol attracted more zombies and I dispatched them with ease until no more were left around the gate. As I fired each shot I could feel some sort of existential energy flowing from me, draining some hidden reserve.
“Gather up the Fuks,” I commanded. “And Lana?”
“Mi’lord?”
“There’s no excuse for this. From now on, I expect the walls to be clear of all zombies.”
“Yes mi’lord,” she said, giving me a small bow.
Turning to Archer, I shook my head. “You’re obviously my personal narcissism, so just try to stay out of Lana’s way, or better yet - try to kill more zombies than her. If you think you can.”
Archer scoffed. “No contest. I took top marks in sharpshooting.”
“That means I should expect to see results by tomorrow. I look forward to it.”
Archer looked panicked for a moment then smiled. “Sure, I can give you results.”
Turning back to Woodhouse I said “Show me what else need attending.”
Woodhouse led me through the town that represented my mind, pointing out each business that had fallen into disrepair, suggested others that needed improvements, and additions that would benefit me. In the distance, I could hear Lana and Archer shooting at the crowd of zombies and with each echoing shot I felt a tiny bit better about everything.
[INDEX]

Before you say ridiculous, here's some Australia specific Rugby problems:

• Massive competition between sports codes - Rugby in Australia is absolutely eclipsed by the NRL and AFL, My gut feeling says that Aussies prefer to watch a sport they don't get annihilated in week on week, and they actually like to see their teams win but there is another reason: there is actually a tribal culture around NRL and AFL teams. People LOVE the rivalry and camaraderie of footy club culture in Australia and Super Rugby teams playing in empty cavernous stadiums just don't have that. Conversely, half of the Shute shield teams now have more enaged fans than the Tahs, Force or Rebels. I've never seen someone with a NSW Waratahs tattoo, I have at least 3 mates in Sydney with a Rabbitohs tattoo on their ass. It's a different level of passion.
• No Development Pathways - whether you blame it on rugby league or the Randwick Rugby Club nepo babies, there are only 150 Professional Rugby contracts available in Australia. Most of those contracts are taken up by established professionals, and since 3rd tier Rugby Like Shute Shield pays in popcorn and free skydiving tickets young talented rugby players graduating out of school get no benefit out of the Rugby development system. Compare that to the 500+ NRL contracts, plus the development NRL contracts that have a minimum wage of 80K a year, no wonder the talent leaks away from rugby.
• Representative based system, rather than clubs - Australian Super Rugby teams aren't really clubs, They're rep footy sides run by the governing body(excepting whatever is happening at Western Force). From a sports administration point of view this really muddies the waters of how the organisation can operate, appoint board members, CEO's etc(Australian laws around sports clubs also allow for clubs to run their own venue like a pub for members, generating consistent revenue streams, which the SR teams do not qualify for).

Where am I going with this?
In Short, A 10-12 team domestic competition modelled on English & french domestic comps. 2 Pacific Island Teams, Brumbies, 3 NSW teams, 3 QLD teams, Western Force and Melbourne Rebels. There would be growing pains, the initial quality would not be the same as Super Rugby and it would take time to build fan bases, BUT:
You address all 3 of these points. The new teams would be able to capitalise on localised fanbase rather than a fairly nebulous state team, teams could play at mid sized local stadiums and create an atmosphere like the Tahs experienced at Leichhardt oval in 2021(I have never seen such a raucous turnout for Rugby Union as those games in Balmain). You would have twice as many professional contracts available to incentivise young talent to give pro Rugby a crack. The new clubs would have much more self determination and freedom to operate as a business. tick, tick, tick.
Problems:
Initial broadcast revenue would not be equivalent to the Super Rugby revenue. Contracts will not be as lucrative as the current ones available. Inevitably plenty of star talent will be lost to overseas franchises in the startup phase. Andrew Forrest(owner of the Western Force) was ready to create 'Global Rapid Rugby' and bankroll a breakaway comp back in 2018-19, only concluded by the Force being allowed back in to SR during covid in 2020.
I don't think NZ would be keen on this model in their domestic comp bc with a population of 5 Million it's a real push to support more professional teams than they already do. Their depth of talent is obviously insane but can that many fans support a professional league? Maybe with the obsessive rugby culture they have it could.
The BONUS
Ever heard of the European Champions Cup? Welcome to the Pacific Champions Cup. This is where the broadcast cash gets interesting: the top 2 teams from the Australian, New Zealand and Japanese Domestic Rugby competitions duke it out exactly the way that the European rugby sides do. This idea really gets my tail up and adds an international club element that the other codes in Australia really lack.
As imposing as creating a new comp from scratch is, Super Rugby is dying a slow, public death. I'm interested to hear everyone else's solutions to the demise of Super Rugby pacific.

Keith Gill's first activity on social media in over 3 years was a like for the film 'Run Lola Run'. I'd never heard of it before and we're not currently Amazon Prime members, however I have a tremendous amount of respect for DFV and so decided to pay to stream it. To be fair it's a very decent film and as I had access to it for 48 hours I watched it several times.
I don't want to spoil it for anyone that's not seen it, but in essence Lola relives the same 20 minutes 3 times and it shows how the slightest change you would probably consider inconsequential can cause radically different outcomes in much the same sense as the butterfly effect.
My interpretation of Roaring Kitty's tweet is that the sneeze of January 2021 is going to happen again (possibly more than once), but as we've already lived through it before the outcome will be very different. It's made me wonder what else he's trying to tell us with the other movie references so I've been working my way through them one by one.
So far I've watched Run Lola Run, Signs, Drive, No country for old men, Remember the Titan's and Snatch.
I plan on watching the others which I believe consist of ET, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Wolverine, Avengers: Age of Ultron & Endgame, V is for Vendetta, X-Men Days of Future Past, Gangs of New York, Sherlock, Fast and the Furious 7, The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, Tombstone, Pirates of the Caribbean, Men in Black, Troy, Mad Max Fury Road, Kingsman the secret service, Old Boy, Ocean's Eleven, The girl with the dragon tattoo, Old School, Scream and Candyman.
I'm going to focus on getting through the movies rather getting side tracked by the TV series and wondered if I've missed any and also if anyone else is doing the same?

Spoilers and big mad feels ...
Sometimes you finish a book super quickly because you can't put it down and can't stop turning the pages. Sometimes you finish a book super quickly because you just want it to end as fast as possible so that you can forget about it forever and move on to the next one in the series. ACOFAS is... the latter. I devoured the first three books and adored them, but this fourth book makes me want to cry (in a bad way)
Did SJM get amnesia in between books 3 and 4? The inconsistencies and lack of continuity might break my spirit. This book reads like a cheap knockoff compared to the three that preceded it. It's like it was written by somebody who only had cursory knowledge of the preceding books. I have many questions and cranky venting.
Chapter 1 First of all why is Feyre walking around like a basic b in ugg boots in a cheesy Hallmark movie? We've got every cliche about the holidays all wrapped into one confounding muddle. It's reminding me of how every pop star records a Christmas song to make that holiday cash.
(Side note: When the cauldron broke and was reforged, did Elain and Nesta lose their powers? Do they still have their powers? The vagueness around this seems sketch.)
Chapter 2 In ACOMAF, there's two very different houses near the Illyrian steppes fight camp: the rustic war house that a bunch of them shared in Devlon's training area, and a private warded cabin waaaay up the mountain where the boys used to have hunting trips and the epic mating fuckfest went down. It was a helluva climb up a giant hill. So why in the beginning of ACOFAS is Rhys walking from the sparring areas straight into the war camp house with Cassian and imagining Feyre bent over the kitchen table?... That ain't the same place, Rhys! If it was, it would also have those creepy paintings Feyre left all over the place.
Chapter 3 "Flap" is a laughably wimpy word lmao. Couldn't SJM come up with something tougher to describe how the bat boys get around? Idk like "pumped his powerful wings skyward" or "beat a gust of air towards the soil and soared into the sky"? Saying "a mighty flap" to describe anything that hotboi Cassian does just makes me roll my eyes and giggle.
Chapter 4 If they have blacksmiths, cobblers, fabric weavers, and cauldrons, why do they also have stretch leggings and fleece lined robes? Am I to believe that a full on medieval cobbler is also making modern-day Ugg boots for Lady Fey? I'd sooner believe that Bryaxis is MIA because it's away at a beauty pageant.
Chapter 5 So, fae have all kinds of magic but no one has figured out a way to deal with a period aside from bleeding out all over the place? Huh?
And I have questions about this magic. If Rhys can magic his clothes away instantly, why can't he magically fix up those slums without the tenants having to move out? Why can't he vanish the rubble like he vanished his panties? You're magic ain't mathing, Rhys. I still love ya but it's looking like campaign lies and I don't like it.
And when Feyre went to get food, she was wearing a fleece-lined robe but then when she comes back to hug him, she's suddenly in a cobweb lingerie? What gives? Did SJM get amnesia again between pages 46 and 54(?).
And when we're in the F/R POV chapters, they use I/me mornings, but in Cassian's and Mor's chapters, it's all he/him and she/her pronouns. Huh????? Pick a POV rule and stick with it babes.
Also, Feyre sorta promised Nesta in ACOMAF that they'd invent showers, but they're still filling the tub for every bath. Why? Maybe that's why Nesta is always in such a bad mood. Babes desperately needs a real shower.
Chapter 6 Did Azriel name his favorite knife Truth Teller after Morrigan? Her gift and curse are telling the truth. idk how I didn't notice this before. I just thought it was a torture interrogation reference.
Chapter 7 Do Siphons tamp down power or amplify it? The answer seems to change from page to page and it's getting confusing.
Chapter 11 It pisses me off that TamTam blames Feyre for everything that's ever gone wrong in his life. Hello?? It was your own choice to lash your sentry in front of the rest of the team, fully bringing to life the saying that "beatings will continue until morale improves" — and Ianthe was behind that shitshow anyway! Ianthe was the one who stole the guard's keys and gave them to the Naga to break in. Where's the blame on her for that fuckery? Tamlin could have handled it with more restraint and honor but instead he let Ianthe push him into going apeshit That's not on Feyre. Sorry Tampax, you played yourself.
Chapter 12 There's no way that the shadowsinger would turn red and almost spew wine into a fireplace because Rhys made a not very funny joke. This rom-com scene is murdering me.
Also, now that everybody knows that the power of grayskull was unleashed from Amren at the battle with Hybern, does that mean that the threat that her position in the inner circle held before is dissipated now that she's no longer got otherworldly powers anymore? How does she still exist????? I loved her but that Hybern cauldron battle was her time to die. If they were going to bring her back, they could at least make her a creepy zombie or something.
Chapter 13 Why is Nesta's life ambition to just get worse and worse? I mean, she has every right to be mad about the fact that her sister's boo's enemies kidnapped her and Elain then dunktanked them into being magical immortal beautiful beings forever. But she was like this even before Feyre left the mortal lands. I'm really getting tired of her bitchy bullshit. I don't care if her and Cassian have some kind of future love story. She doesn't deserve him. She doesn't deserve any more air time honestly. She's wearing me down.
Chapter 15 Why is she writing about clothes?! Where is the plot???
Chapter 16 Rhys says on page 146 that he'll winnow Cassian up to the House Of Wind, but on page 152 of ACOMAF, it is made very clear that the House Of Wind is protected by wards and you cannot winnow into it. You can only fly to it. Even Rhys cannot winnow into the House Of Wind, which is why he flies Feyre up there every single time. I'm new to books with this kind of world-building and, i gotta say, continuity breaks like this throw me out of the story. What's happening?
Also, why is Cassian so opposed to having his own apartment in Velaris? Am I supposed to believe that for the last 500+ years he has not had any place to get laid? Or he only gets laid in an extra room in Rhys's house? No wonder he has such awful luck with the ladies! Get your own apartment, Cassie!
Chapter 17 Feyre says that she scowled at the eye on her palm on page 156 but when Hybern broke her UTM bargain with Rhys, that eye her palm disappeared as did everything else with the tattoo from UTM. Her new mating bond tattoo on her other arm didn't have that eye on the palm. Did SJM read her own books?
Cauldron help me, I don't know if I can finish this book. I want to but it's breaking my heart. Can i skip the rest and go straight to Book 5? I hate it. Send help. Please tell me it gets better in ACOSF. 😭

Hello, after some lessons given to me by life, I apologize that this post seems more like a laundry list, but I want to be as honest and straightforward as possible, as I am fairly certain about what I actually seek in life.
I am a 28 year old hetero white guy, 175 cm tall, slightly overweight, blue/gray eyes, with a balding pattern on my head, although I get it shaved regularly, so it looks alright. I usually try to go on at least one long (10km+) stroll a week along with a workout, sometimes more.
I do software engineering for a living and earn a decent amount for my local standards (unfortunately still pitifully low for the current housing market bubble).
In my free time I like to play videogames, watch all kinds of interesting videos and podcasts, sometimes read books, play my electric guitar, attend some boardgame and D&D evenings and already mentioned going on long strolls, I'm probably going to take up an active sport soon as well. I would like to go stargazing with my soulmate one day and just talk about all the wonders of life. I also started taking some japanese language lessons recently, as I find the language intriguing and feel that knowing more contrasting languages does improve abstract thinking.
My values are rather traditional, and political alignment could probably be explained as centrist/right wing for most, although I find the black/white US-centric political categorization really stupid and oversimplifying for the sake of drama.
I'm very neutral in tone towards people I don't know much, but I can get flirty and a little open up after some time. I tend to write long paragraphs of text often, some people hate this.
Now for the other side, I'm looking for a biological woman, for a monogamous relationship, between the age of 20-29, preferably from around Central Europe, but I'm not opposed to long distance as long as we plan to close it at some point in the future. I want to live a traditional family life with children. I don't play games and expect 100% honesty, being straightforward with what's wrong is, in my opinion, a key thing to a successful relationship. My preferred races are white and asian, although it's not a dealbreaker. I don't like excessive piercings and massive body tattoos. Weight wise, just don't be on one of the extremes, I don't want a walking stick, nor a whale, slightly overweight is fine and demanding otherwise would be hypocritical of me. You don't have to share all of my hobbies, but I would like some overlap, you don't need to play videogames with me daily, but I don't want to be ridiculed for the hobby either. I can't imagine being with a smoker due to my tragic family history with it, sorry. I want my partner to be ambitious about something. I am looking for a woman that gives the same effort into conversations as I do, I adore reciprocal conversations and I want someone who I can treat as my equal, I'm not looking for a goddess to worship, nor a pushover, someone I can fully put all of my trust into. I really like the clothing style, which could be described as "cottagecore", but it is not necessary. Someone who is not overly materialistic and can appreciate the little things in life.
If you got all the way here to the end without getting discouraged, congratulations, if you think this is something you would very much like, don't hesitate to send me a message. Thank you.

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The following two brain scans were provided by the Neuro-Warfare branch of the Halcyon Security Division (HSD) for the purpose of analyzing the thoughts, behaviors, and information of notorious gangsters Vincent 'Troy' Cohen and Bruno (Deadname: Koraak Tel-Char). At the point of the recording of this archival shared, Bruno has since received his rebirth therapy, and Vincent is currently serving a long-term rehabilitative and reeducative sentence in the Erebus Supermax Prison on Io.
Warning: the contents of this archival shared may be especially disturbing to some audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
Warning: the contents of this archival shard are for the sole purpose of analyzing the thought patterns and memories of certain degenerate criminals in an effort to ascertain vital information that can be used to eliminate their organizations. Only staff with clearance level Omega may view this archival shared, and the viewership of this archival shared by anyone of inadequate clearance level will lead to twenty years in prison and a fine of over a hundred thousand credits.
Booting up memory scan: Vincent 'Troy' Cohen, November 4th, 2446…
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning archival shard presentation…
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"Do you have visuals of the target, Troy?"
I knelt down in the alleyway, the bodies of me and my partners shrouded in long, waterproof, ashen-gray overcoats the shade of dirty street scum that we wore to ward off the constant heavy rainfall the color of osmium. Our faces were covered in a mix of scrapped respirators, visors, or full metal face masks carved with intricate designs to hide our identities. On our waists were our badges of honor: leather belts studded with interlocked rivets made from blackened titanium, each buckle forged of silver and shaped into the head of our gang's symbol, the black mamba. We hid amongst the shadows of the dark midday of Halcyon City, the heavy, oppressive rains blanketing the roads paved obsidian-black with asphalt and weathered concrete walkways. The street lamps were always on, like beacons of false hope in a storm of melancholy.
The city was dark and dreary as always, the planet of Proxima Centauri B, renamed Dawn's Lamentation over a century ago, orbited the red dwarf star of Proxima Centauri, and the atmosphere was thick with natural smog and ever-storming rain clouds. That didn't dissuade people from living here: there was plenty of money to be had for shrewd industrialists and hardworking pioneers, even in the urban sprawl. But that life also came with risks, especially for those on the bottom of the totem pole.
I was a ganger, and we were criminals; full stop. I won't assault you with some spiel about how we're the good guys fighting oppression because, at the end of the day, we could be just as bad, if not worse, than Halcyon's Security Division, or the HSD for short. We were traffickers, killers, extortionists, and money launderers. We dealt with everything from stolen tech and military-grade hardware to hard drugs and sentients.
Yes, sentients. We trafficked sentients, but not in the way you might think. They weren't prisoners, in fact, we were their saviors if they had the cash. We had developed a reputation for fighting the power, but it was still business: sure, freeing captives from the clutches of the Protectorate. The disruption of its many oppressive organizations held a certain satisfaction in my heart for sure, but we didn't help those who couldn't pay unless someone else paid on their behalf. It was about making sure me and my gang, my family, could live a decent life for another day.
It helped that most of us joined after leaving the state yard for partaking in acts of 'degeneracy' and 'anti-xenopet illegalities' as if those terms meant anything anymore other than that we were a threat to the local status quo. It was hard to pick up a job as a former inmate when even in something as harsh and backbreaking as a job in the iridium mines near the poles when the employment office had you blacklisted as a degenerate, which lead to the formation of many of the gangs: we needed to make a living somehow, and when all social programs were cut off from you unless you submitted for 're-education' and the only way to put food on the table was subverting, breaking, or even downright fighting the law, you did what you had to do or you died on the streets a scorned beggar.
It wasn't like the HSD made it easy for us on even a good day: the local HSD units were armed to the teeth with advanced, military-grade hardware that you'd often see on the front lines of the Second Authority War: armored assault transports, a myriad of advanced war droids, all sorts of chemical countermeasures that made tear gas seem like putting the garden hose on mist mode, and of course advanced firearms. Add that to the fact that they were authorized to use deadly force when they deemed it necessary and you had a ruthless, heartless, and nearly unstoppable enemy. But we could make that work: we weren't trying to stop them, just to withstand them.
"Yeah, I got eyes on the prize, Koraak; seven armored transports, two for droids, five for prisoners."
Today wasn't a day for a normal job: we were getting bolder, cockier, more ambitious. Our numbers had swelled for the last few years after the raid at Barnard's Star and the fall of the Blood Dragon Mafia. Their leader, Saito Yasuhide, had committed seppuku as their manor burned, and his twin sons had gone down fighting rather than allowing themselves to be captured simply to face a firing squad. In the aftermath, many of the family's associates had fled to the surrounding systems, and with the sheer size and scope of the criminal underworld found here, it was no wonder that many people who had developed skills of the less legal variety had decided to form ranks with the gangs, and with them they brought guns, tech, knowledge, contacts, and even something that we thought wasn't possible beforehand: a semblance of peace between the gangs, or at least the closest thing to peace that gangs could cultivate effectively. With the fall of the Blood Dragons, we saw the writing on the wall, and the writing couldn't have been clearer: work together or die together.
"Sounds like a massacre, Troy: are you sure we can handle seven?"
"We ain't got no choice, Cinder: this job's double the usual rate, and that's not including the weapons and gear we could scrounge if this goes well," I hissed, my eyes scanning for any resistance. There were at least four guards for each van, not to mention at least eight droids in total, meaning that we were already outnumbered, but we had the element of surprise: we could make it work. "So put your balls in your purse and get ready to spill some blood."
Koraak snorted at our antics, which sounded like someone pulling the ripcord on a lawnmower. He was a veteran Russu Corsair, and while his past of slaving, raiding, and killing was unsavory, so were the lives we'd lived, so who were we to judge? All we cared about was that he was a brutal and capable fighter and a loyal brother in arms. It turned out that being a ganger wasn't much different from being a Corsair: you lived and died by a code of honor, you fought to the death for your brothers, and you lived to die for the sake of your gang and your family, simple as that. In a strange, ironic way, it was an incredibly honest way of life: we were under no illusions as to what we were, what we did, and why we did it, and we'd long since accepted it. The Russu related to us in that aspect, in many ways I could respect, which is why I hated what the Protectorate was doing, and why I couldn't grasp how most of humanity could just collectively lose their marbles so long ago. What had happened for us to deem all other life below us in such a demeaning and infantilizing way?
The Russu were a race of tall, muscle-bound Saurians with avian features, and Koraak was no exception: reaching almost seven feet in height and weighing over four hundred and fifty pounds, he could be an absolute menace if he so desired. His skin was covered in stubby, knobby scales and dense plumage, with elegant feathers adorning the ridges along his back as well as his forearms, elbows, knees, and the crests on his head. He almost looked like how paleontologists described velociraptors, with razor-sharp talons, feathers shaded in vibrant greens, reds, and purples, and a maw full of sharp teeth, but at the tip of his snout was a sharp, beak-like growth meant for ripping flesh off the bone.
The Russu were strange as hell, but they also looked almost cute in the same way a fully grown alligator was cute: they were obviously dangerous, but humans would always have this innate desire to anthropomorphize them and to pet them for some inexplicable reason, although common sense usually prevented that, at least amongst the very few of us left that were sane.
"Shut up, Troy! All I'm saying is that that'll be rough, and you know it," hissed Cinder. Cinder was a tall black man whose coffee-colored skin was covered in tattoos. He wore an ebony mechanic's jumpsuit with metal inserts underneath his grimy overcoat covering his body and a faded black respirator on his face. His eyes were a startling blue that seemed sorely out of place, and his hair was braided into thick cornrows along his scalp. He wore a pair of heavy black combat boots and palmed his compact shotgun in his hands, the square barrel less than seven inches. Like a lot of the weapons the Black Mambas carried on their persons and dealt in, they fired caseless ammunition; in Cinder's case it was 16x40mm caseless shotshells filled with depleted uranium micro-flechetes no thicker than a toothpick. Cinder nervously fiddled with the detachable tube magazine underneath the barrel, his hands shaking. Despite the shit I have him, I didn't blame him for being anxious: I was anxious too, even if I refused to show it. The biting cold of unease and pessimism was in my stomach, and I ran all the way that this job could go wrong in my head over and over.
"Just hold yourself together, this ain't anything we haven't done before, there's just more of it," I reassured Cinder, "besides, we're not alone; we have reinforcements across the street. We'll make it out of this alive."
Cinder nodded almost absentmindedly, his eyes downcast and his breathing shallow. I turned from him and back to Koraak, who was making sure he had everything on his person; he had a synthetic leather bandoleer across his chest that contained the heavy eight guage depleted uranium slugs he kept loading and unloading into his much larger, longer, and more traditional shotgun he nicknamed ‘carnage’ and several leather straps that held his Tu'shan daggers: traditional Russu pyramidal blades forged from a silvery alloy with all three edges serrated and the tip barbed to leave behind horrible, gaping wounds that gushed blood. They were wickedly sharp and absolutely straight like a stiletto, and the hilts and pommels were beautifully decorated. He wore no clothes underneath his overcoat to cover the countless scars and blemishes he's earned in combat across his chest and abdomen, and instead of a normal respirator or visor, he simply wore a hood over his head and some traditional Russu facial armor to protect his mouth, eyes, and cheeks.
"You ready to fight, Koraak? The caravan will pick up and leave soon."
Koraak was silent for a moment before nodding, a human gesture he had picked up after serving as a soldier with the Black Mambas for years. "I'm always ready to fight," he said before lifting up his shotgun and aiming down the sights at the reinforced front wheels of the first armored car in the caravan. He exhaled and fired, the slug ripping through both front tires and causing them to deflate and fall apart. The echo of the shot rang through the alleyway and the street, causing pedestrians to panic and flee the scene as heavily armored guards poured out of the side doors of the armored cars and unholstered their carbines.
"Go, now!" I shouted, and both me and Cinder rushed out into the fray, our guns raised. Koraak was right behind the two of us, providing covering fire with his shotgun. Several guards fell quickly, Koraak's precise fire and the sheer force of the depleted uranium slugs putting them down for good as their heads were vaporized or their chest cavities were turned to mush. He emptied the tube with one final shot that painted the grey matter of a security guard on the door of one of the armored cars, then racked the shotgun and expertly loaded it in threes, his hands deft and agile as he reached for more slugs faster than any human.
With the cacophony of our initial assault, more Black Mambas poured out from the alleyways and the subways, armed to the teeth with all manner of weapons; shotguns, submachine guns, pistols, machetes, baseball bats, and all manner of homemade explosives. Molotovs and more potent concoctions shattered against the asphalt, herding in the caravan guards with their volatile contents as they were quickly gunned down. The assault was working, and we were winning.
Then I heard the robotic whine of a combat droid activating, and my heart sank. One of the armored cars in the back activated the four combat droids it held, the robotic assault units detaching from their charging ports on the sides of the large van and began to form up, each armed with a terrifying array of deadly weapons meant to quash any and all resistance. They were blocky, soulless, utilitarian things that stood at eight feet tall, with flat feet meant for stomping and blades, grasping claws designed to lacerate flesh and shatter bone. On each shoulder was a weapon: on the left was a multi-barrel rotary grenade launcher loaded with 15mm concussion grenades, and on the right was a burst-fire splinter cannon. They were all painted a dull grayish-green, the color of Halcyon's Security Division, although some had a few decorations on them: the one closest to me had a bit of graffiti on the side that said Mr. Hugs in Comic Sans, which I couldn't decide whether that made it more or less terrifying. They split up without hesitation and began to scan the chaotic battlefield, their single, red, beady lenses the security forces had the gall to call eyes focusing on specific targets to eliminate.
An entire group of Black Mambas was torn to pieces by a cloud of flechettes as one of the droids fired a withering three-round burst of shotshells from the four gauge splinter cannon mounted on its shoulder. Another picked up a Black Mamba in its hand and crushed her skull effortlessly before tossing her limp body to the side, its single, red, remorseless robotic eye tracking a new target. Most bullets that struck their thick armored chassis simply bounced off, and those that could pierce the armor didn't seem to phase the droids whatsoever, merely notifying them of a new potential target.
"Damnit," I shouted as I gunned down another guard only for two more to take his place. "Cinder! We gotta pop open the cars and scram! Get the maglock cutters!"
Cinder rushed and slid over through a dirty puddle, pulling out a maglock cutter from the inside of his coat and slipping it onto the back door of the first van. It immediately went to work, drilling through the maglock with a high-powered plasma torch nozzle, and within ten seconds we heard the telltale clunk of the maglock separating. I yanked the door open and ordered I side, ready to escort the prisoners out… only for my face to contort in shock and horror.
The back was empty. There was not a single soul inside of the back brig of the armored car.
"What the fuck…" Cinder gasped, his eyes wide with shock. "What the actual fuck… what the fuck is this, Troy?"
"I… I don't…" I stuttered the sounds of battle and carnage drowned out by the sound of blood rushing in my ears. All five cars were supposed to be filled with recently captured Russu from the front lines ready to be housed in the local Xenopet-Megaplex for processing and conditioning. The fact that this one was empty…
Suddenly, it all hit me at once with the force of a freight train, but it was too late. "We were set up, Cinder; our fucking client either squealed or was crooked to begin with…"
"Fucking bitch!" Cinder shouted as he spun around in an enraged arch, anger growing in his eyes. He aimed his shotgun at an approaching security guard and reduced his upper body to a fine red mist with a cacophony of shotgun blasts. "We gotta get everyone who's left out of here! Do you know what this means? The Jurors will be here soon, and then we're all going down! We gotta go, fuck the job!"
I grit my teeth. Not the Jurors, anything but the Jurors.
"Fine, gather everyone who's left and we'll slip through the sewers, the droids are too bulky to follow us there…"
As I spoke, my eyes wandered to the seventh and final armored car, the second of the droid cars, and my blood froze. Not only were all four ports empty, but they were also smaller and more shallow than the ports for the combat droids. That could only mean one thing.
"Oh fuck! Cinder, we gotta get our Russu members out of here! They've got arachnid droids!"
Arachnid droids were the stuff of nightmares. Resembling blocky, robotic arachnids the size of a manhole cover, they were specifically designed to take down sentient aliens, specifically the Russu, using sickeningly non-lethal means. They were equipped with full-body adaptive cloaking to blend in with their environments, paralytic agents that they could inject into their victims, built-in taser barbs, psychedelic gas ports for crowd-control, and a narrow-coned cacophony canon that disabled the Russu using incredibly high-pitched sounds that only they could hear, forcing them onto their knees and clutching the backs of their heads where their auditory organs were stored in agony. But worst of all was their stygian spinnerets: special ports near the end of their robotic abdomens that excreted a viscous, latex-like substance made up of millions of nano-bots. This substance could be used to render Russu blind, deaf, and mute by having it forced onto their faces, the black substance growing and enveloping their heads and working its way into every orifice. It was completely permeable to the standard atmosphere, but any Russu who had been 'webbed' was completely helpless and essentially captured, and the 'webbing' was both nearly indestructible and nigh impossible to remove without a triple-encrypted override key that was found in every arachnid droid's code, which was corrupted when the droid was destroyed or hacked into. Once you were 'webbed', you were essentially captured and the standard protocol was to leave you to the wolves since the nano-bots could be tracked, endangering the entire gang.
I turned just as I heard the deafening sound of Koraak discharging his shotgun, and I saw him squaring off against one of the assault droids. The droid has obviously been programmed to not use lethal force against Russu if possible, as instead of simply killing Koraak with it's shoulder-mounted splinter cannon, it approached with its claws extended, blades retracted. Koraak continued to back away and fire, pumping the droid full of depleted uranium slugs, its armor crumbling inward as the slugs pierced its chassis and damaged its internal cyberstructure. Eventually, Koraak ran out of slugs and instinctively reached to his bandoleer only to find that he had no more shells left at all, and he drew one of his knives and his sidearm, a simple high-caliber handgun. He tried to take down the droid with his handgun, but the bullets didn't even seem to affect the droid upon penetration, it's claws still extended as it attempted to apprehend Koraak.
In the corner of my vision, as I watched Koraak battle with the droid, I noticed a faint shimmer in the air on one of the black streetlight poles that was right behind him. I focused on it and blinked, believing my eyes had deceived me for a moment before realizing that it was actually a cloaked arachnid droid stalking Korvaak, ready to pounce and incapacitate him.
Before I could shout, it leaped from the pole and landed on Korvaak, causing him to shout in surprise while it began to coagulate its horrifying stygian webbing to disable Korvaak. Korvaak tried to wrestle it off of him, but the droid was agile and fast, clinging onto Korvaak and skittering around across his upper body as he attempted to grab it, forcibly wrapping the sticky black liquid across his face as he gagged like a spider wrapping up a fly. I rushed towards him to try and help, but I felt pain explode in my ribs as I was struck with the arm of the closest combat droid and launched into the chassis of a parked car, the metal denting from the sheer force of impact. I groaned in pain as I saw stars and my head spun, and just then I felt a blinding light be cast over me.
“Drop your weapons and kneel with your hands on your head, or you will be pacified with deadly force!” Shouted a loud, artificially deepened voice from above. “I repeat, drop your weapons and kneel with your hands on your head! Neither hostility nor hesitation will be tolerated!”
It was the Jurors, I could feel the air being pushed around from the thrusters on their drop ships, and I could hear screams and shouts as my fellow Black Mambas were quickly gunned down. I couldn’t see well since I was seeing double, but I could hear the slaughter as my eyes dimmed and I began to lose consciousness, my regrets crawling up my throat like vomit.
I’m sorry was all I could think as everything finally went dark, and the sounds of chaos, destruction, and combat faded away.
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Memory halted due to loss of consciousness. Booting next available memory in shard…
Booting up memory scan: Koraak Tel-Char Bruno, November 5th, 2446…
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning archival shard presentation…
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“Good morning, sleepyhead; it’s time for breakfast.”
My eyes shot open. I was not in the street anymore, nor was I home in my bed with my mate. I knew instantly that something was horribly wrong. I tried to stand up, but I couldn’t gain the leverage to do so: my ankles had been shackled together with magnetic cuffs and my arms were forced together in front of me.
I was wearing some kind of thick shirt. It was warm, fluffy, and comfortable on the inside, but it still made me incredibly uncomfortable that my arms didn’t have a free range of motion. I looked down to see that I was wearing some human garment I had heard about before, a straightjacket maybe?
The entire room was padded: the walls, the floor, even the ceiling. There was no bed or furniture; the floor was soft enough to serve as a bed in itself. There was nothing else except for the soft reddish-orange lights on the ceiling that somehow made me sleepy. I blinked slowly for a moment, my body screaming at me to just lay back down and lose consciousness, but I couldn’t do that: I needed to figure out where I was and how to escape.
Then I noticed who was speaking to me: it was a short human female, with crow's feet around her blue eyes, blonde hair braided down her back, and freckles all over her face. She had a soft smile on her lips, and her forehead was slightly crinkled. She wore a full-body white lab suit with a white overcoat and a pair of glasses for snugly on her face.
"There we go, now I can see those pretty eyes, such a beautiful shade of teal," she cooed softly, "You're such a handsome boy, even with all those scars: I'm sure you'll be adopted very quickly once we get you fixed up."
Fear gripped my heart as I began to piece all the evidence together. I had been captured; I was no longer on Halcyon, and instead, I was in one of the horrific space-born facilities I had heard so much about from the inside agents. I started to hyperventilate and squawk like a newborn hatchling, my eyes dilating in panic. This couldn't be happening! This has to be a nightmare!
The human woman merely wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into an embrace, cradling my head under her chin and speaking softly. I couldn't bite at her or claw at her: I was muzzled and wearing a straight jacket, so I had no choice but to allow her to coddle me.
"It's okay, sweetheart: I understand you're scared, but Julie's here to make all the pain and bad thoughts go away," she said as if she was comforting a child, which made anger blossom in my chest indignantly. "I'll be your caretaker for the next few months, and I'm going to make sure you're healthy, happy, and most importantly safe while you're under our care. I'm sorry to say that includes your restraints and restrictive clothing, but we have to make sure you aren't a threat to yourself or others before we can determine if it's a good idea to remove you from suicide watch."
I growled under my muzzle. Suicide watch? They must have had a lot of instances of Russu taking their own lives after being captured, something I wished I had been able to do before that damnable droid launched itself onto me and…
I shuddered at the thought of the black, viscous substance forcing itself into my nostrils and down my throat and windpipe, gagging me and rendering me completely helpless. It was so cold, so harsh, like slime, and when I had tried to tear it off of my face it merely attached itself to my claws and bound my talons together. I remember squirming on the ground as it enveloped me, unable to see, hear, or speak, and then everything went dark in an instant. It was the most horrible thing I had ever experienced, which was saying something.
"You alright, sweetheart? Oh, I know, you're probably hungry! Here, try some of this." She held up a piece of what looked like raw bacon and wiggled it in front of me before reaching out to remove my muzzle. In an instant, I attempted to snap at her only for pain to blossom in my forehead and my eyes to roll up in my head as I convulsed. It was like something was attempting to drill through my skull from the inside, and every breath felt empty and labored.
"Now, that didn't feel very nice, did it? This is why we have countermeasures in place because we can't trust you yet, sweetheart! Don't worry, we'll work on breaking you of all those bad behaviors and habits while you're here; after all, a well-trained pet is a happy pet!" She began to stroke the crests on my head as I slowly recovered, and she snugly fit the muzzle back onto my snout. "But I won't hold it against you this time, sweetheart; you're just scared and confused, but I'll make all the pain go away."
I struggled in the straight jacket, trying my best to break out of it, but it was no use. Eventually, I became exhausted and despondent, allowing my new caretaker to have her way with me as she gently ran her fingers through my feathers and along my ridges, quietly speaking to me in a hopeless attempt to cheer me up. She seemed genuinely concerned for my well-being, which concerned me even further: who could be this naturally twisted while attempting to be as benevolent and kindhearted as possible?
I felt the pain and terror build up in my chest, the anxiety from what horrific activities I imagined they had planned for me here. I couldn't take the infantilization, the lack of any autonomy, the dehumanization, and what I feared the most was if the rumors of 'rebirth' were true: would they take my personhood from me?
Suddenly, I felt her whisper to me. "Don't worry sweetheart, I know you're so scared and confused, but I promise you everything will be okay: it's going to be your birthday soon, and then everything will get better." She ran her fingers through the feathers along my crest lovingly. "It will be such a wonderful day, and then we'll choose for you the most wonderful family, and you'll spend the rest of your life happy in your forever home! Doesn't all of that sound wonderful?"
I wanted to die. I wanted to disappear. I didn't want to lose myself, not like this, not to these monsters!
"It'll be your birthday soon," she said wistfully as if she was remembering similar events to this in the past like I wasn't the first she'd done this too, "and you'll never be sad again."
I realized that I wasn't the first the stay in this particular cell, and I knew for certain that I wouldn't be the last: I'd end up like my brother, a broken, erased mess of a pathetic creature, reduced to nothing more than a pet for these humans to amuse themselves with.
"We took the liberty of picking out a nice name for you, sweetheart! Now, let me just slip this little programming chip into the port slot on your occipital bone, and... there we go! It will also help you calm down a bit and adjust."
I felt the chip begin to invade my mind, suppressing my thoughts. What made me me was slowly being ripped out of my mind. I couldn't remember my name my name is Bruno, and I needed to get out! I can't let them do this to me! Somebody help me! I was a good boy.
##Do not think. You are a good boy.##
I tried to scream, but my voice wouldn't work: I had trouble forming any words at all, the confusion clouding my mind like wet, slimy eels curling around my brain and sinking their teeth into its folds like needles. I couldn’t scream any longer, because I had nothing left: the chip was slowly beginning to take everything from me, robbing me of my identity and branding a new one into my psyche with a white-hot iron. Julie simply held me close, attempting to reassure me as I awaited the inevitable demise of my personhood. Soon I would be just like my brother: erased. My mind would be shaped into the mind of a loyal plaything, like a Dog.
##Relax. Allow caretaker [Julie] to comfort you. You will let go of your burden.##
Soon, everything was a blur. I quickly found myself resting my head in her lap as she whispered to me and fed me, my eyes bleary and my head fuzzy. I couldn't remember my name anymore My name was Bruno, and I needed to break free from this trance relax, and allow her to help me; good boys didn't resist help.
##Good Boy. Do not think. You are a good boy.##
You can't... I...
##Good boy.##
I wouldn't… good boys don't… I…
##Good boy##
I was a good boy… I was a good boy…
I was… I was… a good… boy…
Someone help me, please! I don't want to be erased!
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The following script is from episode #343 of Halcyon After Dark, a popular late-night and current events talk show hosted by Melinda Carter. This specific episode was sponsored in part by the Halcyon Security Division, with Director Lochlin O'Brien joining as a guest star to talk about the changing crime statistics in Halcyon City and the HSD's recent successes in busting organized crime as well as their plans for addressing the growing criminal underworld.
MC: Good evening Halcyon! I'm your host, Melinda Carter, and you're watching Halcyon's most popular late-night talk show, Halcyon After Dark!
The crowd claps and cheers as Melinda walks on stage and sits behind her desk, her glittering red dress waving as she does so from the special effects.
MC: Tonight we have a very special guest here to tell us about the state of crime in the city and his plans on resolving it: please put your hands together for the HSD's very own Director, Lochlin O'Brien!
The crowd cheers some more as HSD Director Lochlan O'Brien, a tall, muscular, caucasian male in his early forties with red hair and a well-trimmed beard steps into the room, waving at the crowd with a bright smile. He sits in the armchair angled next to Melinda's desk and gives her his full attention.
MC: It's so good to have you on the show, Director! Tell me, how are you doing on this fine evening?
LO: I'm doing excellent, Melinda: every day I wake up feeling fulfilled knowing I'm serving Halcyon to the best of my abilities and then some."
MC: That's the spirit, Director! Now, I know this question is just on everyone's lips, so I have to ask: how successful was the recent gang bust? I heard HSD forces took out dozens of gang members and liberated at least a dozen Russu Hounds from their abusive clutches, but I know that everyone in the audience and at home wants to know the numbers.
LO: I'd be glad to tell you, but I do have to preface this by saying that we still lost a lot of good officers that day, and while we did strike a crippling blow to one of Halcyon's biggest gangs, it doesn't change the fact that each death is a tragedy, and we're taking steps to prevent them in the future. That being said, those valiant officers did not sacrifice themselves in vain: we had over a dozen confirmed kills and several arrests, including the rescue of several corrupted Russu hounds.
MC: That's excellent, Director: proof that even when the number of degenerates and scum grow by the day, the HSD will always be here to keep the citizens of Halcyon safe.
LO: Absolutely, Melinda, and we're always working tirelessly to increase the efficiency and effectiveness of our units, as well as racing to stay several steps ahead of the many gangs of Halcyon at all times. My newest goal as Director is to vastly increase the funding given to our Robotics Department and our Neuro-Warfare Department to potentially reduce the number of casualties we may experience in the future, as well as to quickly and effectively detain, and if necessary, eliminate criminals. Within the next decade, I want to double the number of automated units each Security Platoon is assigned: droids are the future of public safety as well as countless other industries, and it would be foolish to be left behind.
MC: That is quite a lofty goal, Director: what about the displaced jobs from the increased automation? What will the union say?
LO: And to that, I say: what misplaced jobs? We aren't replacing our honored and beloved service members with droids, Melinda, we are simply supplementing our units with more droids to ensure that future gang assaults end with fewer HSD casualties and more gang members in prison or eliminated, simple as that.
MC: That makes much more sense, Director, thanks for clarifying. Now, I have one more question that I'm sure much of Halcyon wants to know the answer to before we take a short break: what plans do you and your fellow directors have to make long-term progress in reducing crime beyond just increasing funding? Have you proposed any plans to strike at the source of where crime and degeneracy flourish?
OL: That's an excellent question, and one I am proud to answer: my constituents and I have been working tirelessly on a two-step plan to greatly reduce crime levels in Halcyon. Step one would be to prevent people from becoming criminals and degenerates at all in the first place: a lot of young men and women, but especially young men, have lost either one or both parents or even a sibling, aunt or uncle, or even a close friend by the brutality of the Second Authority War, and while the service of their lost loved ones will always be recognized and honored, many of these young men and women are left bitter, angry and lost without the guidance these people give them in their lives. Oftentimes they seek to fill that void with others who claim to relate to them: career criminals. These criminals will fill their heads with lies and false narratives to make them feel like they're fighting back against the 'evil protectorate government' that took their loved ones from them by sending them off to war when in reality it was the rogue Xenopets of the Triarchy that took them away by resisting their just and inevitable unburdening.
In response, I have proposed a slew of special programs that will make sure local law enforcement and HSD officers are present and contributing to their local community, and we'll be providing easy and light job openings for youngsters and teens looking to make a career for themselves in the force when they grow up. We want to let these lost souls know that there are people who care about them, people who understand them and that you shouldn't turn to degeneracy to feel fulfilled. We want to help the youth of our great society soar to new heights!
MC: That sounds like a wonderful beginning to your plan, Director, but what about the second step?
LO: Well, the second step is to prevent criminals and degenerates from becoming repeat criminals. Sure, they've made their mistakes, some worse than others, but they're only human like the rest of us. Some of them have been through hell: some are traumatized veterans who don't know how to adapt to normal life, others were recruited when they were young and don't know that there's a better way to live, and even more are mentally ill. We're alone in this galaxy, and we can't leave so many people behind. That's why we've come up with an excellent solution: we've set up isolated communities on distant moons and frontier planets where these criminals can be reeducated, rehabilitated, and allowed to repay their debt to society. When they're deemed 'reformed' and have graduated from our program, they'll be granted a hefty stipend and their criminal record will be deemed irrelevant, allowing them to reintegrate and become functioning members of our proud society.
MC: all of these sound like incredible steps forward in the fight to better our society and make real progress, Director. Sadly, we do have to step away for a moment, but you best believe I'll be back, Halcyon, and we'll be asking the Director here some burning questions about allegations over the quality of life Erubus Supermax! Now, a word from our sponsors!
Halcyon Xenopet-Megaplex! Everything your xenopet could ever need in one place! Adoption is now free-
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Good, you’re still alive! The rest of this shard appears to be corrupted, which means this particular trail seems to have run cold here, but do not despair; you need to keep searching. Find out what happened. Find the truth.I cannot guide you any longer: they've already found me, and if I remain in contact with you they'll find you as well. Take the archival database, and see what you can piece together. Maybe if we discover what truly happened we can put an end to this madness once and for all. I'm counting on you. Don't cry for me, I don't fear death, but I fear what they'll do to me to get to you: there are far worse fates than death, after all.

TL;DR If we take the early 1831 origin for Polygamy seriously, we have to take the skin curse of the Lamanites literally, which is extremely problematic.
The church is desperate to establish the origin of polygamy at the earliest date possible. Joseph Smith’s private conversation with Mary Elizabeth Rollins Lightner in 1831, his relationship with Fanny Alger in 1835 (and much more) make it necessary for the church to claim that the revelation on polygamy came much earlier than doctrine and Covenants 132, which was given in 1843.
To that end, the church published the following in the Gospel Topics essay “Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo”.
“The revelation on plural marriage was not written down until 1843, but its early verses suggest that part of it emerged from Joseph Smith’s study of the Old Testament in 1831.” (See the first link below.)
If this can be called a revelation, what does the 1831 account actually say? (See side tangent rant with second source below).
“[I]t is [Jesus Christ's] will, that in time, ye should take unto you wives of the Lamanites and Nephites [i.e., Native Americans], that their posterity may become white, delightsome, and Just, for even now their females are more virtuous than the gentiles.”
So, if we ignore the fact that this revelation only describes a specific type of polygamy for a certain set of people, then sure. This is a “revelation” on Polygamy that dates to at least 1831. Problem solved, right?
Well… if we take that account for what it is actually worth, then disposes members of the Church to take the skin curse on the Lamanites described in the Book of Mormon literally. Which, of course, is extremely problematic.
As I understand them, the usual apologetic explanation for the skin curse is something like (1) the curse wasn't the skin darkening; it was their separation from God, and the skin darkening was second to that. (2) the darkening of skin was something like a tattoo. And many other apologetic responses follow a similar line of reasoning. Usually, the skin curse shouldn't be taken literally, according to apologists.
Except it has to be if you want to date the revelation on polygamy as early as possible. Because the 1831 revelation on polygamy is explicitly to “fix” the dark skin of Lamanites.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_Latter_Day_Saint_polygamy (Under the section Possible Revelation in 1831). (If we also ignore the fact that this is a claim from a secondary source that only appears 30 years after it is said to have occurred, I think it’s trustworthy enough, but most apologists wouldn't trust a source with those specs if it didn't paint the church in a good light, but I digress.)

TL;DR If we take the early 1831 origin for Polygamy seriously, we have to take the skin curse of the Lamanites literally, which is extremely problematic.
The church is desperate to establish the origin of polygamy at the earliest date possible. Joseph Smith’s private conversation with Mary Elizabeth Rollins Lightner in 1831, his relationship with Fanny Alger in 1835 (and much more) make it necessary for the church to claim that the revelation on polygamy came much earlier than doctrine and Covenants 132, which was given in 1843.
To that end, the church published the following in the Gospel Topics essay “Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo”.
“The revelation on plural marriage was not written down until 1843, but its early verses suggest that part of it emerged from Joseph Smith’s study of the Old Testament in 1831.” (See the first link below.)
If this can be called a revelation, what does the 1831 account actually say? (See side tangent rant with second source below).
“[I]t is [Jesus Christ's] will, that in time, ye should take unto you wives of the Lamanites and Nephites [i.e., Native Americans], that their posterity may become white, delightsome, and Just, for even now their females are more virtuous than the gentiles.”
So, if we ignore the fact that this revelation only describes a specific type of polygamy for a certain set of people, then sure. This is a “revelation” on Polygamy that dates to at least 1831. Problem solved, right?
Well… if we take that account for what it is actually worth, then disposes members of the Church to take the skin curse on the Lamanites described in the Book of Mormon literally. Which, of course, is extremely problematic.
As I understand them, the usual apologetic explanation for the skin curse is something like (1) the curse wasn't the skin darkening; it was their separation from God, and the skin darkening was second to that. (2) the darkening of skin was something like a tattoo. And many other apologetic responses follow a similar line of reasoning. Usually, the skin curse shouldn't be taken literally, according to apologists.
Except it has to be if you want to date the revelation on polygamy as early as possible. Because the 1831 revelation on polygamy is explicitly to “fix” the dark skin of Lamanites.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_Latter_Day_Saint_polygamy (Under the section Possible Revelation in 1831). (If we also ignore the fact that this is a claim from a secondary source that only appears 30 years after it is said to have occurred, I think it’s trustworthy enough, but most apologists wouldn't trust a source with those specs if it didn't paint the church in a good light, but I digress.)

I can't believe I'm posting this.
(33f) In 2021, I made $250,000 from Dogecoin, as well as some profits from Shib, GME, and AMC. My initial investment was just $6,000. Right when the markets hit their highs, I experienced a high of my own – my first-ever serious manic episode, which lasted for just over six months.
I had never experienced a manic episode before. It was essentially like being blacked out while simultaneously thinking I was invincible… among other things. Nobody around me knew what was happening, and neither did I. I was absolutely insane. I started posting wild stuff on social media and gained over 20k Instagram followers because of the crazy shit I was doing.
Normally, I would have put that money away or invested it responsibly. But where did that money go, you ask? This is painful…
You'd think that manic me would have gotten some nice things. Jewelry, bags, clothes, shoes. Nope…
$5,000 on art supplies and toys to donate to kid's schools (they never got donated). I left toys on the stoops of apartments in Brooklyn because I thought I was Santa Claus. I handed out Barbies to little girls on the street.
$12,000 upfront for six months of rent.
$3,000 – I bought every single food item, bottled drink, Starbucks cup, bag, etc. - every item you could buy from my neighborhood Starbucks. I also left this stuff on the stoops of multiple apartments.
$3,000 for 11 tattoos on my left arm that I would have otherwise NEVER gotten. Probably one of my biggest regrets out of everything. Just chop off my arm, please. I was never a tattoo person. Guess I am now.
$7,000 on mushrooms, weed, and ketamine.
$2,000 on new phones. I gave one away.
$2,000 divided up and passed out to people on the streets.
$800 adoption fee for a dog I later had to give up.
$3,000 on EZ-Pass. Why? I have no fcking idea.
$1,500 on crystals.
$2,000 on tie-dye clothes that I'll never wear again.
$4,000 on new furniture that I ended up putting on the side of the street.
$5,000 - I posed naked (ish) for a live painting at 3am in the East Village with two other girls. Then I bought it.
I did pay off the rest of my student loans (20k).
Honestly, there were SO many things. There's also a lot I can't remember, and I've been too horrified to look at bank statements, pictures, and videos. But the biggest?
I spent THOUUUUSANDS touring with Dead and Co for two months. I went to 12 shows and was front row for each one. I also thought John Mayer would fall in love with me if I did so. Pit tickets, flights, and hotels all over the country…
I also found my way onto a couple of well-known reality shows (not main cast) due to how insane I was acting. Some of my friends at that time were main cast; I can't say which because that's way too specific and I'm already giving up too much detail in this post.🙈 Let's just say I don't think we're friends anymore…
I eventually lost my job, my apartment, my car, my reputation, family, and friends. But what did I gain? $38,000 left over in tax debt after being audited (that's after paying what I thought I owed). I did my own taxes while manic too. WTF?
The IRS owns my ass, and now I'm on a payment plan. My family put me in the hospital for a month, I was diagnosed with bipolar, and placed (hopefully temporarily) on disability. Now I'm back living with mom and dad at 33. I had an amazing job and life in NYC for 10 years — it all crumbled.
So, I've been hiding since. Haven't touched social, and I've deleted most of my Insta feed. Deleted Facebook. I worked in PR, and a lot of my job was social, and now I've disappeared.🤷🏻‍♀️
I'm pretty sure people think I stalk John Mayer after posting him 14836x at so many shows front row. High school friends, college friends, work friends, family… they all distanced themselves, and I lost almost everyone aside from a few who I am SO grateful for. The tea was HOT that year, and being the talk of your hometown is never good.
In 2022, when I got out of the hospital, I took the $4000 I had left and bought more crypto. Since then, I’ve been able to repair my portfolio for the most part.
And I'm not fcking selling.
I have tons of insane stories from that year - some really good and some really bad. I plan on writing them out someday, but right now I'm still traumatized.
Wow, that was cathartic. Anyway, love you. Do only good every day. ♥️🐶 Get help and take your meds.
https://imgur.com/a/A1j70K0

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/O4Orgy
TIFU telling my gf (22) how I (23m) met my friends
Originally posted to tifu
Previous BoRU
I (22m) am hours away from having group sex and it's stressing me out Oct 6, 2022
I'm using a throwaway because my other account reveals who I am.
My roommate (22f), who I've been sharing an apartment with for the past 6 months, approached me a few weeks ago to discuss the possibility of hosting an orgy. I can imagine most people in my situation being surprised or disturbed or whatever if their roommate asked for permission to allow random people to have sex in their personal space. I was not too surprised or disturbed because 6 months has been more than enough time for me to realize that my roommate is an extremely sexual person and she's not shy about showing it.
I'm a virgin. My roommate is aware of that, and even though from time to time she teases me about it, she's never made me feel bad and always seemed proud of me for being so chilled about sex. Back to the orgy. My roommate asked if it was okay if the orgy could happen at our apartment. She said 7 people were expected to participate, all friends, and she would be the 8th. She answered all of my questions regarding the logistics and promised to leave the place spotless when it was over. To be honest, I didn't really care as long as no one did anything in my room or touched my gaming console.
My roommate was over the moon when I said yes. I arranged to sleep at my mom's house on the night of the orgy to avoid any awkwardness, which made my roommate feel somewhat guilty for "kicking me out", but I encouraged her to focus on the fucking because I'll be focusing on my mom's good cooking lol. A few days after that conversation my roommate asked if I was interested in taking part in the orgy. I said if this was about me staying at my mom's house for one night, she really shouldn't feel bad. My roommate said it's not only about that but also about "hospitality."
She said the group agreed that I was more than welcome to join if I wanted. I laughed and said thanks but no thanks. My roommate advised me to think about it and said I should keep in mind that a virgin guy would be very hot for the group and I would most likely receive "special treatment." She also added that before I made a final decision, I should forget what I've seen in movies or porn and therefore should not be expecting everyone to have 10/10 bodies. I said I would think about it. The orgy is happening tonight. I eventually agreed to participate. It wasn't a quick decision. I did have time. It's been weeks of talking.
I've been added to the orgy group chat. Everyone in the group has been welcoming and open to answering my questions. A big topic of discussion was boundaries. At one point it felt like I was doing an AMA because everyone was asking me what I was comfortable/uncomfortable with. Not gonna lie, I'm getting more and more overwhelmed and I'm beginning to stress out. As helpful and supportive as my roommate and the others have been, I need to ask all of you to weigh in. A 22 year old virgin in an orgy... should I be excited or should I be nervous?
UPDATE
My original post was long enough, so to spare all of you from reading another novel, I'm just gonna list the key information. It's still long though. Sorry.
• It's close to midnight on my side of the planet. What a night.
• By the time I've added this update, the orgy would've been over for less than 2 hours.
• I helped my roommate set up the space in the apartment we were all gonna use for sex. She made sure there were condoms, scented candles, lube, towels, water, etc. I hardly recognized the place when she was done with it.
• During #3 my roommate was running me through the process one on one for the final time and once again made sure I understood that I should never feel pressured to perform anything or to please anyone regardless of prior agreements.
• The group arrived sometime afterwards.
• All of us socialized at first. I learned a lot about the group. Everyone was friendly and interested to know how I was feeling. I realized very quickly that I was attracted to one of the girls in the group more than the others, but none of them were bad looking.
• Once the socializing was out of the way, my roommate explained what the rules and the safe words were before formally introducing me to the group and reminding everyone that I skipped my mom's cooking to be there so I needed to be treated with extra care and appreciation lol.
• So much was discussed before anything sexual happened. Most of it was information everyone already knew based on previous discussions. But some of it was new to me like the "conversational sex" option, which basically meant you could have a sexual conversation with one or more people who had no desire to have sex yet, but don't mind saying filthy things to one another to get them in the mood.
• Boundaries were discussed. Questions were answered. Challenges in the past were addressed. It was a proper meeting.
• My legs were fucking shaking when that meeting eventually came to an end. 11. My roommate gave everyone the green light to proceed and she wasted no time taking me under wing.
• My roommate and I were sitting on the couch while the others were beginning to touch and kiss one another. She was holding my hand and telling me how nice I smelled. I said thank you and returned the compliment. We continued complimenting each other until we were both comfortable enough to kiss.
• I can't tell you how long we kissed, but when my roommate and I were no longer locking lips, I noticed some of the other people were wearing a lot less.
• This might sound weird, but seeing naked bodies on full display like that became uncomfortable and overwhelming. I told my roommate how I was feeling and she asked me to follow her to the balcony to get some fresh air and for a change of scenery.
• During my time on the balcony, the girl who I was most attracted to in the group, before I kissed my roommate at least, decided to join my roommate and I on the balcony and find out how I was doing. Her hair was shorter than mine, but it was hot. The three of us talked for a few minutes before I said I was willing to continue.
• Short-haired girl performed oral on me when I finally managed to get hard.
• I never came. My nerves got the best of me. I apologized to the group and said I would feel much better if I could go to my room because I'm struggling to relax. I made it clear to all of them that they did nothing wrong, but it just wasn't for me, at least not for now. Everyone was really understanding and wished me goodnight.
• I've been in my room ever since. The apartment is quiet now. I have no idea how many people have gone home and how many are sleeping over, but I'm sure I'll find out in the morning.
Not the best ending, but I have no regrets. I'm sure I'll lose my virginity when the time comes. Anyway, the end. I'm going to try and get some sleep now. Thank you all for the advice!
TIFU telling my gf (22) how I (23m) met my friends June 3, 2023
A couple of nights ago my gf was supposed to meet my friends. I've been delaying the process for months because I knew I had to have an uncomfortable conversation first. I met my friends at an orgy. My roommate at the time asked for my permission to host an orgy at our flat. I said yes, as long as my room and my belongings were off limits and the flat was cleaned properly afterwards. My plan was to spend the night at my mom's house and be out of everyone's way during the orgy, but my roommate encouraged me to stay and participate.
I was still a virgin back then. The thought of sleeping with one person was overwhelming enough, let alone a group of people. However, my roommate eventually convinced me to take part. I was added to a group chat with all the people who were gonna be involved in the orgy. All of them made me feel really comfortable. That being said, when the orgy finally happened, I was unable to have sex with anyone. My anxiety won. Everyone was understanding though. Life went on.
My roommate became my ex roommate after a few months, but we never stopped being friends. The connections I made with the people at the orgy also developed into friendships. We're still friends now. My gf didn't know my history with them until earlier this week when I finally had the courage to explain the orgy story. She was shocked and disturbed and asked if I lied to her about being a virgin when we met. I said no. She struggled to believe that a virgin guy would walk away from an orgy with his virginity still intact.
My gf made it clear that she was no longer interested in meeting my "friends." She said she didn't know how she could be in a relationship with someone who was friends with people who shared him. I asked my gf if she was breaking up with me and she said she was gonna need some time to decide what to do. Last night she decided. Our relationship is over.
TL:DR I told my gf that I met my friends at an orgy. That was all she needed to hear to break up with me.
Edit:
I never had sex at the orgy, but I did end up kissing my roommate AND another girl did go down on me. I didn't leave out that information to make my gf look like the villain, at least not intentionally, this is my fuck up after all. I should have provided a link to my previous post that explained everything or included the kiss and the BJ when I initially posted on this sub. It's understandable that my gf is uncomfortable with my past because my past is still part of my present due to the friends I have.
Update June 10, 2023
My mom and dad invited me to have dinner at their house a few nights ago. I was planning to inform them about my break up during dinner, but I realized it was too late when I showed up at the house. My parents were already informed. The dinner invitation was a smokescreen to confront me about the details. My ex gf apparently broke the news to my mom and dad soon after our relationship came to an end. My parents knew about the orgy, the friends I made at the orgy, and why my gf no longer wanted anything to do with me.
It was an ambush. Or an intervention. I don't know. But it was awkward. My mom wanted me to make her believe that my ex gf lied and that I never participated in group sex. I confirmed what my ex gf said was true. My mom looked disturbed and asked if I got tested. I assured her that I was clean and that it's almost been a year since the orgy. My dad looked equally disturbed and asked if I was really friends with people who openly shared their bodies like that. I said yes and described them as good friends. I even told my dad that one of my friends who openly shared her body also openly shared her homemade lasagna that my dad enjoyed eating when he was sick.
I asked my mom if she remembered the DJ with the tattoos that stepped in at the last minute at my sister's wedding because the original DJ dropped out. My mom said yes. I asked my mom if she remembered that DJ playing some of her favorite golden oldies like "Flashdance... What A Feeling" and "Stand By Me." My mom said yes. I asked my mom if she could guess how it came to be that I knew that DJ. My mom said "oh." I told my parents not to worry about me and advised them to avoid communicating with my ex gf because whatever was happening between us, was between us.
Towards the end of the dinner, my mom and dad knew a lot more about my "orgy friends" and seemed less uncomfortable. I think once the shock of me being involved in an orgy fades away, my parents might be keen to meet my friends one day. Hopefully that day never comes though lol.
TL:DR My ex gf informed my parents about the orgy to complicate my life, which prompted my mom and dad to confront me, but I managed to shift their focus from the orgy to the friends I made at the orgy, and now I think my parents might want to meet them at some point.

NEW UPDATE

TIFU telling my gf about my ex and unexpectedly inspiring my gf to tell me about her friends May 25, 2024
My gf scrolled through my Instagram a couple of days ago and came across an old photo of my ex. I thought I erased all the evidence of my ex, but apparently my digital deep clean was not deep enough. My gf commented on how attractive my ex was and asked why our relationship came to an end. I said she didn't like my friends. I wanted to change the topic, but my gf wanted me to explain why my ex didn't like my friends. I sighed and said my ex never met my friends, she just hated the origin story of how I became friends with them.
I explained to my gf the same thing I explained to my ex, which was that my friends were people I met at an orgy almost 2 years ago. I said I was a virgin back then and my roommate at the time hosted the orgy at our apartment. My plan was to avoid the orgy and keep my distance until it was safe to return, but my roommate convinced me to take part. I was too nervous to go all the way, but I managed to get a BJ out of the experience and a group of good friends. My gf digested that information and asked if my ex dumped me because I became friends with the people who wanted to sleep with me. I said yes.
My gf said she would never break up with someone because of something like that. I said that was a relief because for a moment there I was afraid history would repeat itself. My gf said she fucked her friends too. I almost choked on my coffee. My gf proceeded to show me photos of said friends on her phone. Her commentary boiled down to "fucked him, fucked him too, even fucked her, fucked both of them together, never fucking him again, kind of fucked him, fucked him the most." You get the picture. My gf kissed me and said she was happy that I was as close to my friends as she was.
I've literally been having nightmares of my gf showing me those photos, but the photos never end and her commentary becomes more and more descriptive and disturbing. I don't know what's worse, my ex gf leaving me because I had one sexual encounter with my friends or my new gf staying with me and being totally transparent to the point of traumatic about sleeping with all of her friends.
TL:DR My gf came across an old photo of my ex and wanted to know why we broke up. I said my ex left me when I informed her that I met my friends at an orgy. An orgy I was too nervous to fully take part in. Oral sex was all I got. My gf said she would never break up with me because of something like that, and to prove it, she showed me an almost endless collection of photos of her friends and pointed out who she fucked, who she never wanted to fuck again, who she fucked the most, etc. I fucking died inside.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Hey Mr Reddit, Hi Karen (lol) Hooah Reeeee ARMY. I'ma huge fan of your YT Channel...you, and some of your fans being ARMY Vets, may get a kick out of this story as told to me by an old friendof mine. (On mobile, and my smartphone is a smart ass phone that loves to autocorrect you when you don't want it and still allows you to misspell everything else)
I had a battle buddy stationed out in Hawaii with me, we were both crusty old SFCs (Sergeant First Class/E7s) and had been there and seen Everything in our respective careers and lives...let's call him SFC B. My brother, "B" is a large, muscular cholo from Cali with all the LA/Mexican prison-gang-like tattoos (everything but the tear drop or spider web)...he is also a tough, no BS, no lies, honest to goodness great friend and leader...miss him now that he's gone and retired. I'm Puerto Rican and from NY and surprisingly, our personalities matched perfectly, we got each other's jokes, and both of us being old farts (compared to a 19 yo Private) have seen it all.
For those of you who have heard of a "Ranger Wife" or met that spouse who likes to throw around their partners rank like a credit card, have I got a story for you! And before anyone loses their mind, my spouse is an ARMY Spouse, I give her all the credit for being amazing and holding our house together...I say this especially in case she reads this some how (lol) it's NOT the toughest job in the ARMY, but it's definitely up there.
So, B tells me one day that he was waiting on this line at the clinic for meds, as you do the older and more broken you get towards retirement in the Service (any Service Member from any branch, any country, anywhere can tell you the same)...and lines for meds are always going to take 5-ever. Sure as rain will fall in Hawaii, this 19 or 20 year old comes into the clinic and strolls past him on line, a line for which he was now going to be 2nd to being at bat for. She walks past him and right to the windows, almost pushing out the guy who was there to begin with, demanding she gets served next!
B, who takes Nooooo crap tells her with his Drill Sergeant voice, that she needs to go back to the end of the line and wait like everyone else. (Being ARMY forever, he was numb to waiting on lines, so this young female cutting the line made his PTSD flair up)
As you can guess, this ARMY Spouse shook her neck and snapped her fingers at the clerk behind the glass, trying to ignore this big dude talking very directly to her...which only made B draw more attention to her as now he gets out of line to try and put her back in line with less cordial and less eloquent words. Before he goes nuclear though, she says the words we all love to hear. "MY HUSBAND IS A SERGEANT AND HE WILL KICK YO ASS!!!" (she even said he outranked everyone there, therefore WE outranked everyone here)
B says he got eerily quite, which for this twitchy war vet, was an accomplishment, and told her to call him, he'd love to see him try. Now, if you've never played Rock, Paper, Rank before, 7 always beats 5. The two were asked to wait outside by some poor Specialist from the clinic and so B and this jr Karen waited outside the clinic for about 5 minutes.
No crap no lie, B says, this blacked out Dodge Charger pulls up quickly, up on the grass and this chicken hawk of a Soldier gets out, jaw clinched, fists balled, chest all puffed out and tries sliding up his sleeves a bitfor effect. B says he looked like he was about 6'2", 190, and about 25 years old...full of piss and vinegar...or at least he was till he laid eyes on B. B is about 6 flat, linebacker shoulders, and a face that says he'd happily kill you and eat your bones for disturbing his peace...then the rank on his chest burned a hole through whatever self confidence this young Sergeant (E5) had left. B described his as a mix between air getting let out of a tire and this guyalmost walking back into his car and driving off, the whole while, his poor, diluted Spouse kept shouting that B was gonna get his butt whooooped today.
B says he was going to hit this young Sergeant up with the old, faithful knife-hand, combed with a very loud, former Drill Sergeant sized "Parade Rest!" command, but he didn't. Instead of pulling the trigger, he got quieter, which must have been very scary, and told this Soldier to come around the corner and talk with him for a minute...which almost sounds like code for let's fight with no witnesses (lol)
B said he took pity on this poor NCO, who moped on behind him around the side of the building away from his spouse and asked him "Sarge, Did you just get married or something?"
B said his eyes got wide, like if B was Walter Mercado and had just saw into his soul or something. "Yea, how did you know?"
B laughed and said he married a Chola and understood...he was once a young stud with the same issue, a spouse who didn't understand rank or how much trouble a spouse could get you in. After a relaxed conversation and a bit of mentorship B said he got when in the same situation as this guy, he let him off easy. He told him to tell his spouse that she has no rank, she needs to chill, he loves her and that while he appreciates her thinking so highly of him, he's not the biggest, baddest, or highest ranked guy in the Army.
He told him that after a while, if you 2 can not screw it up or screw each other over, she could be the greatest part of his career, like Mrs B is.
Happy endings all around from the way B conveyed this story over a plate of "beer-b-q" carne asada. (Yummmm)
Hearing one of Mr Reddit's videos on my drive home about the ARMY Spouse at the PX who got told "and come back when your husband is more than just a Lieutenant" made me think back to my old pal SFC B.
If you're out there reading this story Battle, we miss you here back in Hawaii
Thanks Mr Reddit and I hope you all have a great day! Aloha!

Finished the drawing I shared a WIP of before. The left half I was only on weed instead of shrooms.
I happened to have the two biggest sales in my modest side hustle after sharing it and again after finishing it.
I want to get a tattoo of AOS's face as a satyr tattooed on my right hand with the horns going up my ring and index fingers. Left hand already has a stag head with its face on my middle finger and the antlers going up me hand. I need to find a good AOS satyr image.
Also, would making custom art sigils like this but SFW be an acceptable occult service I could sell for others? Working on getting a booth at a weekly collectibles show, and wanted to offer readings and other occult services on top of selling trading cards.
I've started another one, also on shrooms, but my partner and a friend said I get too scared on them, so I gotta learn how to make em on weed. I'll share that image later separately tho.

In all honestly, I wasn’t going to do this but my family is worried as hell about me being single in my 40s with a pack of animals running behind me, so here we are!
My name is complicated, so people just call me Zee to keep it short n sweet. I’m a 22 year old who works with animals for a living and wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m 5’5, black, on the slightly chubby side of life, medium-ish super dark brown hair, have a septum piercing, and have one lil baby tattoo (I aspire to get a snake skeleton wrapped around my thigh someday!)
I’m into all kinds of music, but you’ll probably find me barking at 5 grown men from South Korea, SHAMELESSLY. I’m artistic, wayyyy too clumsy, and introverted, but I’m pretty unhinged once I open up. I like exploring and going on spontaneous little adventures, but I probably should be supervised cause I did almost die at the Grand Canyon once. I’m trying to get into PC gaming, buuuuuut I’m currently obsessed with Baldur’s Gate 3 and it’s had a hold on me for 6 months, I won’t play anything else :/
“Okay, she sounds like a cool person, but what does she look for in a person?” Well darlin, I’m glad you asked! Firstly, I want a person who understands “no means no.” Simple enough, right? Yeah, but it’s so important to me. I want someone who listens and treats me as an equal as I’d do the same. It’d be cool to have someone to share my interests with and doesn’t mind me rambling on and on and you can ramble on too about what you love! We don’t even have to do something everyday, watching anime and screaming at dumb characters while drinking boba is always chill <3
I’d prefer someone close to me, but it’s okay if you’re a little further out. If you think you can handle a kind of clumsy dummy, feel free to send a message my way!

reading legacy of yangchen was a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me. with fc yee being such a good auther, i felt the emotions within each character very well, including annoyance and sadness. but what truly made me impressed was what the yangchen books implied towards the rest of the series. so in this post, i would like to point out attributes within the story i found worth note, and how this book makes me look back on the other avatar series in a new light.
one of the most interesting points is the white lotus. this series gave the white lotus the most unsympathetic story so far, which is suprising considering irohs appreciation of the group. it is not just a spiritual do gooder group, but a power holder, which is good to be reminded of. the fact they were willing to try and replicate unanimity shows the cracks. what made them humble themeselves by the time of atla, i dont know. maybe the war. but this side to them is fascinating and makes me a bit more suspicious of the old folks in the show.
which moves on to the next topic; unanimity. the island unanimity is probably the most disturbing place we get to see in the avatar universe so far. honestly the chair had implications that honestly made me a bit sick when reading it. but understanding this aspect of the series gives whole new implications to the ones we see in the show. with the tattoos not being a thing in the books and how its not as efficient as in the shows, it makes me wonder about what horrors combustion man and p'li may have gone through.
this also makes me wonder about chaisees backstory more. her description of diving for sponges sounds awfully similar to how combustion benders were drowned. theres also the fact that theres all the air nomad scrolls at the island and the learning of chi. unanimity seemed to have been a project long in the making, much longer than chaisees 2 year term. but the project seemed to have been much more different than what it became, making an army out of chi blockers and lava benders and assasins with poisons. however, considering what we are told about chaisees background and her interests, its possible to say that the combustion benders were her brain child. maybe she noticed the technique done by a drowning diver. its an interesting implication that you definetely could miss reading, but what im more interested in is the implications that could be made for other new and obscure forms of bending and the meaning the creators can attach to them.
for the rest of this, i wanna adress yangchen herself. yangchen, for as good of a person as she it, is probably one of the most egotistical people in her series. this isnt without reason. her condition has led her to have a unique point of view for what is important long term, both for the world and for the being of the avatar. so she does actions that align with this. do whats actually good for the world, not whats good for her one life. so she becomes very deffensive around other powers like the white lotus, despite the fact they are more like her than she is willing to admit. and her feelings and treatment of kavik is more out of pride he betrayed her for his brother more than just simply the betrayal. the idea that family would ever come before the greater good almost disgust her. this disconnect from other people, not able to see past potential mannipulation, is perhaps her true antagonist is the seriesm, not chaisee, its why she felt she didnt deserve to know for certainty that she can trust kavik. she did need to earn that trust.
lastly, i would like to talk about the book namesake, yangchens legacy. the entire series, she was concerned about not leaving an actual positive impact on the world and for her next lives to see another avatar full of regrets. at the end of the series, she learns not to care about the judgement as it is innevitable, and learns from jetsun that its worth helping the world for the few that you actually help, not the one who are out of your grasp. and good thing she did, because she definetely did not succeed on all accounts.
for her 2 direct reincarnations, many of the problems they had to handle are directly linked to yangchens shortcomings. obviously with kuruk and the spirits, but also with kyoshi and the general state of the world. the shang cities may be gone by kyoshis time, but the world has been shaped by yangchens nuance. the fifth nation, the saowons, the second earth king, the power of the sages, all of these have some link back to yangchen. but i feel no other character embodies the link more than Jianzhu. when comparing the characters from the books, kyoshi and yangchens actions and plot arent very similar. but in comparison, Jianzhu and yangchens struggles are very similar. they both try to achieve through deception rather than direct violence, both struggle with handling their personal relationships weighed with their responsibilities, and both struggle to see the good in humanity when they daily see attrocities. the biggest difference between the two is yangchens nomad upbringing keeping her from falling into her worse impulses, compared to Jianzhu who became a monster. when yangchen died, others had to take the hard role she took. and in the case of Jianzhu, he snapped where yangchen did not.
yangchen unfortunately probably didnt have too good relationships with too many of her reincarnations. kuruk was probably obvious, rightfully blaiming her for how his life fell apart. kyoshi is probably the only life she had a deep relationship with so far. true, she did not hate yangchen or have to bare her regrets, but she did have to reveal the mask the world new her as compare to the reality, something kyoshi had to learn to her discretion. but if anything her anxiety of being a blank slate, more memories than an actual person, seem to have been an anxiety without ground, as she never had a proper connection to her past lives compared to the other avatars weve seen so far.
aang is probably the most interesting reincarnationship we get to see. despite the fact weve only seen one interaction between the 2 so far, the implications are by far probably the heaviest. throughout the books, her balance between being a nomad and being the avatar was a constant struggle. despite the fact we havent seen her directly kill someone, the problem aang was dealing with when he reached out, we see that she failed her heritage in many other ways. to such an extent that she feels the air nomad code needs to be sacrificed to protect the world. but to aang, the last air nomad, this was never an option. in finding a way to keep to his heritage while protecting the world, aang corrected the last of yangchens shortcomings; holding to the promise of awakening and giving their future reincarnation both points of view, giving lessons of hope others may not have (which reminds me, i REEEAAALLLY hope the next avatar will have their past connections restored).
and thats about that, the majority of my thoughts. the books continue to be my favorite avatar media after atla itself. but as for what yangchen has to offer i find great is what it says about legacy. we see in the media with her is that she is flawed, but in the end still pushes for the right thing. and in the end, that push did leave to a positive impact. her legacy isnt in her shortcomings and others had to step in, but that she tried at all and that at least a few people were saved by her actions.

So I’m thinking about getting the Autobot insignia tattooed, but I’m not sure where to get it. I have three places in mind; chest, shoulder or behind/below the ear.
Behind/below the ear would be small and cute. On the shoulder would be good but I’m not sure. On the chest I like but I think I’d be a bit plain and might need some extra designs on the sides to make it…prettier or better.(maybe some flames like Hot Rod/Rodimus)
I just would like some opinions on this. Thank you!

Letting myself in, Aunt Lilicana spun around her silver chair. Chewing on my lips, her bright lilac eyes brightened at the sight of me standing next to Marcus. Smoothing out our outfits, her hands clasped together the moment she rose to her feet. Her lilac suit swayed with each step towards me, her lilac waves bouncing around her waist. Fussing with her bangs, her sharp eyes examined my new wedding band. Clasping her palms around my hands, her eager smile had me averting my gaze to the fine marble floor. Gushing about me being married, my eyes took in the lilac walls with fine snow white accents. Clapping her hands in front of my face, a quick huh escaped my lips.
“You need to wake up and rescue your first member of your own little coven.” She announced with a big grin, my brow twitching with disbelief at her words. “I think if you run your own coven, you have a real shot at becoming the grand witch.” Struggling to hold my tongue, my aunt couldn’t be serious. Pressing my lips a thin line, the old lady had brought it up again. Dropping her hands, a sad smile dimmed her features.
“I don’t want any of that. Stop saying that shit like you are going to die.” I protested heatedly, Marcus showing off his ring by placing his hand on my shoulder. “Fine. I will start with a coven and a coven alone. If that goes well, I will consider your offer to become the grand witch.” Burying me in a bear hug, she spun me around. Sliding her hands to my flat stomach, tears welled up in her eyes. Marcus took a step back with his next question, panic leading him to grin ear to ear.
“So the next thing I would like to ask is about children. How many do you want and when can I expect them?” She queried seriously, her hands squeezing my cheeks. “Maybe this old girl wants to be a great aunt some century.” Pursing my lips, the subject wouldn’t die without an answer. Lowering her hands instead of giving my usual sarcastic retort, Marcus glanced around like he had never been here before. Useless, thanks for being useless in this damn situation.
“Within the year if we are lucky.” I answered with a bright smile, her hands clapping as she spun around the big space. “Information please. Please tell me there is no time travel inv-” Sliding over a time card with the date into my eager palm, her grin grew wider. Reading the date, a discreet fuck rolled off of my tongue. Smacking the back of my head, she shouted language. The medieval times were the most dangerous times to travel, witches got burned like freaking candles. Shivering for a second, the trauma of being burned at the stake had me shrinking back.
“There will be an auction to sell her and I need you to swoop in and save her.” She explained while opening up her closets of disguise, her proud gaze flitting between the nervous Marcus and my fuming self. “So when I say coven, I mean a little branch of mine personally.” Great, no pressure or anything. When she chose to retire, my coven would become the elite ones and become the council members. Selecting a couple of black cloaks and golden parrot masks, she pressed them into our chest. Curious as to what her plan was, an eager grin curled across her lips. Oh, how I dreaded that eager grin!
“I’d hate to ask but what is very thought process?” I queried with a cock of my brow, my politeness slipping for a second. “Judging by the wear and tear, these were uniforms and not a ball gown." Cupping my cheek, her smile grew more genuine. Sinking into the warmth of her love, my life was owed to her. Even with her flaws, her maternal bond made it worth it!
“You are going to be dressed as slave handlers. Get in and free them for me.” She spoke in a motherly tone, Marcus watching in wonder as I snuggled into her palm. “You remind me of your lovely mother. Hell, you have her sharp tongue. What I wouldn’t do to banter with her again. Be a dear and stay safe.” Pulling me out of Marcus’ earshot, her bear hug had me cuddling into her chest. A tender blush rose to my cheeks, her fingers twirling my hair around.
“Pride glows in my heart for how far you have come.” She whispered with a soft chuckle, her fingers twisting my hair into a simple side bun. “The moment a little witch comes into being, I would be honored to be the sweetest grandmother. That means you have a free babysitter. Get going, my dear." Hugging her harder, part of me didn’t want to go. It was her that took me in after my father died, my love for her being as true as it could be. Releasing me, her dainty hand spun me around. Sauntering over to her desk, the chair squeaked the moment she crashed down. Walking out with a genuine smile, these visits left me with a fuzzy feeling. Draping my cloak over my shoulders, Marcus’ nimble hand tied the silky ribbon. Brushing his lips against my forehead, his loving gaze had my heart fluttering. Don't say it, I mumbled to myself. My eyes rolled at his next words, the damn things were sure to come.
“So you can be nice.” He teased with a playful grin, my lips curling into a sly grin. “Don’t be like that.” Poking my nose, scarlet painted my cheeks. Fiddling around with my mask, a flurry of feverish kisses causing my breath to hitch. Sliding on his mask with a crooked grin, a graceful flick of his wrist had his cloak obscuring his identity. Plucking my mask from my hand, his lips grazed the top of my head as he slid it over my bright red face. Quit being a Casanova, damn it!
“I happen to think it made you look adorable.” He commented with a wink, dropping my pendant into my slick palm. “I for one want to have a certain type of fun tonight, if you catch my drift.” Catching his drift, my fingers flicked the card into focus. Holding onto my waist, my slender fingers began to spin the pendant clockwise. Clearing my throat, another adventure was to be had.
“I call upon the sands of time to whisk me away to the year thirteen twenty on the day of January twelfth.” I chanted boldly, the pendant spinning faster. The blast of energy knocked us into the stables of a gray stone castle, the majestic draft horses whinnying in horror. Dropping my pendant over my head, my magic usage would have to be kept to a minimum. Another cloaked finger stomped to us, his sharp tone pissing me off. Letting him yell at us, his grubby hands dragged into a beat up building. Pointing towards the sea of cages, our task was to care for the merchandise. Hiding my hate, we nodded with tired smiles. Crunching back into the snow covered courtyard, magical creatures of all kinds roared in cages. Running through the hall of cages, my aunt gave the name Sabaku Neko. The last name spoke of a human and demon hybrid, an idea coming to mind. Tapping my pendant twice, three illusion pearls shimmered in my palm. Expanding my dagger, a swift cut had blood coating the pearls. Rolling them onto the wooden floor, the cages creaked open. A unicorn trotted past me, a bow of its head opening up a portal to a sacred forest. Neighing sternly, the creatures leapt into the portal. Watching each one with alert expressions, the cages slamming shut with copies of the creatures glitching into life. A clattering can had me spinning on my heel, a flash of bright red hair catching my eyes. Spinning my dagger in my palm, a pair of emerald green eyes shimmered in the shadows. A gruff voice called for Marcus, his hands holding my cheeks. Lifting up his mask, his trickster grin had me worried for the person on the other end. Don't be daft on me, Marcus.
“Steal her away into the woods and I will meet you in a couple of hours.” He ordered with his signature wink, our target knocking over a pile of armor. Bouncing up to him casually, his club poked out of his sleeve. Rounding the corner, a cute witch with bright red cat ears and a matching fluffy tail cowered behind a wooden column. Crouching down to her level, the poor thing was shivering from the cold. Untying my cloak, her quivering eyes traced me draping the cloak over her shoulder.
“I am Gearz, your coven leader if you wish me to be.” I introduced myself with a kind smile, her tag twitching slightly. “Please follow me to safety. Trust me! I don’t bite.” Offering her my hand, her fingers curled around mine. One yank had her stumbling back, her feeble body seeming too weak to move. Placing her on my back, her arms curled around my neck. Darting between the shelves, Marcus chatted pleasantly with our boss. Pretending to trip, his double wink telling to run with her. Sprinting into a blizzard, a harsh cold lashed at my bare skin. Crunching through the snow until I couldn’t anymore, an abandoned home caught my eyes. Kicking the door open, a muffled apology had me glancing back at the witch I had rescued. Setting her down by the fireplace, a few old pieces of wood hit my feet. Arranging the wood while watching her shiver, a snap of my fingers had violet flames roaring to life. Plopping down across from her, my dagger bounced off of my legs. One could never let their guard down in such a time.
“My name is Sabaku Neko.” She choked out awkwardly, her eyes refusing to meet mine. “The one skill I have is being able to speak to animals. I doubt you would have me with that information.” Tracing her fingers on the floor, her kind gaze averted to the floor. Reading that she was ashamed of such a rare gift, kind words were needed. The floor protested as I moved until our knees met, my hands curled around hers. Such sorrow should not follow anyone.
“I would love that gift. Animals make excellent spies and friends.” I chirped cheerfully, her wet eyes meeting my genuine smile. “Join me if you wish. Together we can solve all kinds of crimes. Pigeons and such see the things I can’t see.” Ripping her hands back, hesitation lingered in her eyes. Shaking her head, too much trauma had occurred to her. Switching tactics, there had to be a way to get to her. Asking for her hands, her head shook. Holding my hand behind my back, a rush of air had my loose hairs floating up. Feeling a violet lily in my palms, this might win her over. Lowering her hood, a bit of life sparked in her eyes at me tucking the flower in her hair. Curling her fingers around the edge of my mask, anxiety built in her eyes the moment her hands ripped it off. Smiling cautiously in my direction, her fingers traced the faint scars on my face.
“Call me Saby if you want to be my coven leader.” She spoke almost too soft for me to hear, her smile growing brighter the moment she cut her palm with my dagger. “I vow to serve you as a faithful member of your coven.” Remembering to cut my own palm, the wet sound of blood splattering had nausea flipping my stomach. Holding my hand with a quiet laugh, her ears flicked with excitement at an inky pocket watch tattoo appearing on her chest. Lowering our hands to our laps, something about our bond had me brimming with joy. The door blew open, Marcus huffing with blood pouring from a wound in his side. Collapsing next to me, my shaking fingers pulling my pendant over my head. People shouted in the distance, Saby climbing onto my back while I pulled him onto my lap. Spinning the pendant clockwise, no words could come to mind. Speaking too late, a blast of energy shot me into the front of my house in the nineties. Cursing under my breath, something seemed off. Heavy footfalls crunched behind us, a quick healing spell sealing his wounds shut. Helping Saby off of my back, her protection would be necessary.
“Watch my husband for me. He should wake up any second.” I requested politely, her head nodding as whistled. Shivering with joy at saying the word husband, the bliss was short lived at an ogre jumping over my head. Throwing the necklace into the air, a quick spin had it landing around my neck. Flipping the dagger in between my fingers, his fate was sealed. Flicking my wrist, the dagger whistled into his left eye. Muddy sludge rained onto me the moment it boomeranged back to me. Nice touch, I pondered curiously to myself. Whistling sharply, his good eye narrowed in my direction.
“Come get me, big boy!” I called out while sprinting towards the park, the ground shaking with every stomp from his oily forest green feet. Skidding down random streets, the plan wouldn’t work if I didn’t show up first. Leaping over a wooden fence, my boots touched the lush grass I used to escape to on the bad days. Running over to the dugout of the local softball field, a fresh pile of dirt had me smiling to myself. Kicking at the loose dirt, my old witchcraft kit greeted me. Pulling the tired girl out, a devilish grin curled on my lips at the sight of my black iron case. Remembering that I took down monsters in the area, the kit was rich with what I needed. The ogre was new in this timeline, the tool wouldn’t be missed. My smile fell at what tonight was, a single tear cascading from my eye. Plucking the jade ball from the bottom, this spell would prevent me from going home until the early morning. Debating on winning this fight or reliving one of the worst nights of my life, the answer was clear. Cutting my palm, ruby coated the ball. The ball glowed to life, a sea of unfiltered energy trapping the ogre in place. Rising to my feet, my time window was dwindling. Jumping over the dugout, time slowed with every step. Green energy took out the ogre, the aftermath smashing me into the tree. Sliding the bark with a grimace, a ribbon of blood poured from the corner of my lips. Damn, a couple of organs must have burst. Wincing the moment I struggled to my feet, her guard dog of a demon friend pounded towards me. Blocking his club with my dagger, a swift kick shot him into the sky. Leave me alone, damn it! Nobody wanted to see the two of them.
“So you can fight.” Glanda mused with a scoff of disbelief, my brow cocking at her approaching me in a lovely emerald dress. “I am afraid you have me beat in that department. Then again, I am not a heathen like you. Gareth, kill her already!” Tossing him an emerald stone, green energy whisked her away. The ground rumbled the moment he landed in front of me, his Cheshire Cat grin spread as he bowed.
“Shall we have a fun duel, my lady?” He suggested with an adventurous tone, his club bouncing in his palm. A warm breeze blew the seeds of a dandelion in the air, something seeming off about the situation. Tugging at his leather jacket and jeans, guilt dimmed his eyes. Picking up on that he didn’t want to kill me, a witch’s mark burned on his neck. Mouthing an apology as he charged at me, his club striking the tree next to me. One should open up if they need help, otherwise receiving it would be a mere pipe dream.
“‘She canceled her mate's bond with me and placed this damn curse on me.” He cried out desperately, aiming his club for my head. “Please take me out and make me a part of your team. In order to do that, you have to nearly kill me. On the brink of death, I will vow to make you my master. Work with me!” Dodging his attack, my dagger spun in my palm. Hating myself for what I was about to do, my heart couldn’t deny his request. Hitting the dirt, his club smashed into my shoulder. Screaming brokenly into the still afternoon air, my left shoulder had been shattered to pieces. Unable to get off the dirt, violet energy built around my right fist. Waiting until he was inches from my face, my fist smashed into his chest. Bone crunched, the tissue giving off a sickeningly wet noise as I squeezed until inky blood ran down my arm. Begging me with wet eyes, Marcus called out for me in the distance. Throwing him down next to me, his wheezes sounded horrendous. This plan had better work!
“I vow to serve you as a faithful servant.” He wheezed with a serene grin, tears of joy gliding down his cheek as an inky pocket watch tattoo replaced his former mark. “What is this warmth?” Chuckling under my breath, violet light blinded me as time reversed his heart’s damage. Listening to the ribs click back together, Marcus towered over us, his eyes flitting between his new mark and me. Jealousy flashed in his eyes before he settled on a pensive expression, his mind working through what to say. Don't you dare blow it!
“Mind explaining a few things for me? Why is our former enemy part of our team? When can we go back?” He inquired with a sneaky irritated tone, the dirt crunching as Saby caught up. “You look like hell and you only look like hell when you have run out of your powers. Did he do that to your shoulder because if he did, he would die if it were up to me.” Understanding that he meant every word, Gareth shot out a million apologies. Marcus cut his palm in a chilly silence, his inky blood pooling in his palm. Sitting on my lap, his palms smeared his blood all over my shoulders while humming a demonic spell. Stopping at the first sign of dusk, the bones took a minute to click back into place. Clutching me close to his chest, his chin rested on the top of my head. Tears soaked the top of my head, the vulnerable side being a rare side of him.
“Don’t you ever pull this shit again or God help me. You are way too important to me.” He admitted between sniffles, his lips grazing my cheek. “When your aunt brought up having a family, it struck a nerve with me. My whole family died in front of me and I can’t have that happen to our children. You would like to have children, right?” Parting my lips to speak, tears welled up in my eyes. The younger version of me skidded into the park, my eleven year old self looking covered head to toe in fresh bruises and cuts. Marcus placed a simple invisibility spell on us to protect the timeline, Struggling to keep my composure, my rat nest of hair spoke of weeks of neglect. Digging my fingers into Marcus’ arms, my grubby father marched into view. Screaming at her while beating her with a belt, his rage wouldn’t stop. Horror rounded my friends' eyes, the shame of my past being played out in front of them sickened me. Ruby began to splatter his red face, the corner of my lips quivering as the color drained from my cheeks. Threatening to kill her, his screwdriver plopped into her palm. Getting too close for us to hear his words, the wet sound of the screwdriver sinking into his artery had her screaming out the moment he landed on top of her. Pushing him off, a crowd began to gather. Whispering among themselves, the dark rumors of how dangerous the family was began to swirl. Begging for help, no one offered her assistance the moment police showed up. A sleek lilac car squealed up, my aunt hitting them with a forgetting spell. Apologizing to my younger self, they began to seal off the scene. Guiding my younger self into her car, Marcus knew well enough to order the others to start hiking with him. Fighting back a fresh wave of tears, that day had been like any other. Placing me on his back, the others shot out quick yeses. Crunching into the treeline, we came upon a cave system within five miles. Shooting the others a stern expression, they wandered off to find firewood. Chewing on my lips, violent sobs wracked my body. Burying my head into his chest, he had to hate me at this point. Cupping my face, his comforting words were doing little for my shortening breaths. Wanting to run, my lack of ability to run away was the sole thing preventing me. Gripping his shirt, my grasp couldn’t get any stronger.
“Shhhh!” He whispered sweetly into my ear, his lips brushing the tip of my ear. “What I saw was a girl fighting for her survival and nothing else. I am sorry that happened to you and I understand why you hid it from me.” His words faded in and out as if he was underwater, everything doubling. Exhaustion weighed on my eyelids, a dark slumber stealing me away.

So we all know there already about to drop the new season and its gonna be all stars I'm soghing right now cause we can all predict this so these are my changes and what I would do with this season and the overall game.

1. To have the option for a boy and a girl and more than two different body type and for one skin color not have more definition than a darker one (yeah I'm talking to you season 8)
   
2. To have more hair options and have at least 8 of them be FREE cause why is only one SHORT hairstyle free in season 7 and only two in season 9 mor black hairstyles of different types of hair cause I want more options since I am black and I atleast want one to be free and more fun straight hairstyles
   
3. For more different styles of clothing almost like the did in season 4 and somewhat 5 where you can have y2k or glam or goth or street style cottage core that type of stuff have at least 5 outfits for free in each different style
   
4. More tattoo choices that are free or atleast don't cost 16 gems and different types of tattoos not just astrology signs or love and infinity symbols
   
5. More options in general better shoes and for face peirceings to be free since it is your appearance same as tattoos and for there to only be sleep wear party wear and swimsuit wear not daytime outfit like huh?!?
   
6. For a option to customize where your character is from there job and a list of quotes you can pick for the status occupation and observation sheet especially with all stars for us to be able to say what season we are from
   
7. For us to be able to change or choices without restarting the episodes like I know in the first game I could close out of the game completely and It would take me not to far back into the episode maybe it was a glitch but I miss it especially the time I accidentally choice to go to bed with max instead of Claudia even thought I was conflicted I had to waste a pass on that one decision and it happend again too
   
8. For better and new challenges its like they now recycle old challenges they even had two couple goals for this year I mean it gets boring especially when you are either not in the challenge at all it causes unnecessary drama or you can't win cause it forces the girl that doesn't like you to win its stupid I miss the old challenges mostly from season 1 & 2 so much especially when it was just to get to know the group
   
9. No more MC being a bombshell cause unless its for us to be the first one but even then it makes the story WAYYY shorter and then you have the problem now of people saying "hey I got the tea on something that happend before you got here thats not gonna matter in the story at all"
   
10. No more gem choices when it comes to finding out about the villa its annoying and the so called "tea" they have is useless or just stuff that's flat out unnecessary but that 50% of the game play
    
11. To have more personality and branches FB is just being lazy at this point with even different Characters having copied and pasted scenes where's the love there needs to be more branches and decisions and no more of that weird box thing with whip cream in it like 😑.....BFFR
    
12. For them to bring back days I loved when in the old game that they had three episodes in 1 day and we had way more episodes from that cause it was 30 days pretty much a month so you felt like you were there and overall had a real connection with the characters
    
13. Fro the characters to not be SO OBSESSED WITH YOU like I want it to be like season 2 where you had multiple LI's but they weren't so obsessed and the people who weren't wasn't mean or turn into you enemy
    
14. For no unnecessary drama or for some drama to not involve us like lottie vr Priya and how you could take sides or be in the middle or like that thing with Gary and the secret kiss with lottie or the one that you can have with him stuff that actually is worth it
    
15. TO 👏 BRING 👏 BACK 👏 MUSIC!!! I missed the amounts of songs that went into the game that also fit the mood and was overall a bop I miss the nostalgia of the times I would stay up all night playing love island and when it was the morning the sun flowed threw the curtains and the morning song from season two would play and I would feel so refreshing and those were warm memories and it added to the story not just the same bum bum bumbum like noooooo
    
16. There doing great with the smexual scenes but I wish for it to be better like just say it its not that hard
    
17. And finally to have special reunions like the wedding and Chelseas murder preferably the mystery one because it was longer and really fun and also had so many branches it was crazy now I love the beautiful scenes in the boat party but I didn't like us having to fix our relationship or leave them waste of gems too and the Christmas party was kinda boring but overall I loved the special reunions
    

This game has so many flaw and we all wish to have the 1st game again if only it was still here hopefully we get it back with zero changes but these are mine I hope you like them💖🏝💫

So we all know there already about to drop the new season and its gonna be all stars I'm sighing right now cause we can all predict this so these are my changes and what I would do with this season and the overall game.

1. To have the option for a boy and a girl and more than two different body type and for one skin color not have more definition than a darker one (yeah I'm talking to you season 8)
   
2. To have more hair options and have at least 8 of them be FREE cause why is only one SHORT hairstyle free in season 7 and only two in season 9 mor black hairstyles of different types of hair cause I want more options since I am black and I atleast want one to be free and more fun straight hairstyles
   
3. For more different styles of clothing almost like the did in season 4 and somewhat 5 where you can have y2k or glam or goth or street style cottage core that type of stuff have at least 5 outfits for free in each different style
   
4. More tattoo choices that are free or atleast don't cost 16 gems and different types of tattoos not just astrology signs or love and infinity symbols
   
5. More options in general better shoes and for face peirceings to be free since it is your appearance same as tattoos and for there to only be sleep wear party wear and swimsuit wear not daytime outfit like huh?!?
   
6. For a option to customize where your character is from there job and a list of quotes you can pick for the status occupation and observation sheet especially with all stars for us to be able to say what season we are from
   
7. For us to be able to change or choices without restarting the episodes like I know in the first game I could close out of the game completely and It would take me not to far back into the episode maybe it was a glitch but I miss it especially the time I accidentally choice to go to bed with max instead of Claudia even thought I was conflicted I had to waste a pass on that one decision and it happend again too
   
8. For better and new challenges its like they now recycle old challenges they even had two couple goals for this year I mean it gets boring especially when you are either not in the challenge at all it causes unnecessary drama or you can't win cause it forces the girl that doesn't like you to win its stupid I miss the old challenges mostly from season 1 & 2 so much especially when it was just to get to know the group
   
9. No more MC being a bombshell cause unless its for us to be the first one but even then it makes the story WAYYY shorter and then you have the problem now of people saying "hey I got the tea on something that happend before you got here thats not gonna matter in the story at all"
   
10. No more gem choices when it comes to finding out about the villa its annoying and the so called "tea" they have is useless or just stuff that's flat out unnecessary but that 50% of the game play
    
11. To have more personality and branches FB is just being lazy at this point with even different Characters having copied and pasted scenes where's the love there needs to be more branches and decisions and no more of that weird box thing with whip cream in it like 😑.....BFFR
    
12. For them to bring back days I loved when in the old game that they had three episodes in 1 day and we had way more episodes from that cause it was 30 days pretty much a month so you felt like you were there and overall had a real connection with the characters
    
13. Fro the characters to not be SO OBSESSED WITH YOU like I want it to be like season 2 where you had multiple LI's but they weren't so obsessed and the people who weren't wasn't mean or turn into you enemy
    
14. For no unnecessary drama or for some drama to not involve us like lottie vr Priya and how you could take sides or be in the middle or like that thing with Gary and the secret kiss with lottie or the one that you can have with him stuff that actually is worth it
    
15. TO 👏 BRING 👏 BACK 👏 MUSIC!!! I missed the amounts of songs that went into the game that also fit the mood and was overall a bop I miss the nostalgia of the times I would stay up all night playing love island and when it was the morning the sun flowed threw the curtains and the morning song from season two would play and I would feel so refreshing and those were warm memories and it added to the story not just the same bum bum bumbum like noooooo
    
16. There doing great with the smexual scenes but I wish for it to be better like just say it its not that hard
    
17. And finally to have special reunions like the wedding and Chelseas murder preferably the mystery one because it was longer and really fun and also had so many branches it was crazy now I love the beautiful scenes in the boat party but I didn't like us having to fix our relationship or leave them waste of gems too and the Christmas party was kinda boring but overall I loved the special reunions
    

This game has so many flaw and we all wish to have the 1st game again if only it was still here hopefully we get it back with zero changes but these are mine I hope you like them💖🏝💫

First off I want to say that I know no one can decide for me and it's up to me to be sure of what I want, I've just had a lot of conflicting thoughts for years and I'd just like some advice or to hear some tips. I'm 22F, and I've known I never want kids ever since I was in high school, and it got even more concrete when I hit college and beyond. That's around when I started thinking about hysterectomy, but after I heard about side effects I figured maybe I'll wait until I'm older and see then because I didn't want to risk anything. And then this past year or so I found out about a bilateral salpingectomy and it seemed like the answer, because it's permanent and doesn't have the risks of a hysterectomy.
I know 100% that I don't want kids, so that's not the problem - I won't "change my mind" or anything like that. I think the issue with me being on and off about the decision is that it's the permanence of removing the organ? It's sort of like my thoughts on a tattoo, I want one and I've wanted one for years but I didn't do it because of the permanence, if you know what I mean? Idk what my issue is really, I know that if I have the procedure I won't regret the child free aspect. I also know that you don't need a procedure like this to be child free, it's just that after roe v wade was overturned and all the terrifying stories women are telling, I feel more pressured to think about this and have the procedure because I'm scared something like that will happen to me and this will be more liberating and freeing than anything else. I want to be able to live my life without worrying that I'll be caged in my own body and have to live a path that I'll end up resenting if the worst ever happens. So there's a 70% part of me that wants it and knows I will not regret it, but the 30% that's hesitant on such a permanent procedure is stopping me. But I'm also worried now that the world is going so crazy, even this procedure will disappear soon so I want to make a decision.
I really wish I was more confident in this and knew for sure what I wanted like most others who want a sterilization, my head's such a mess about this. Idk sorry it all sounds so over the place but I just needed to talk it out. Any advice would be much appreciated!

I just woke up from a very empowering dream. I dreamt that my parents and I went to a current meeting to see what things were like nowadays. In real life I have very mixed feelings about my father because he has turned into a prick. Anyway, we went to one, and I was wearing a teal suit with a white minor turtleneck top, and off white coloured Palladium boots. I had short sides and back haircut and my long hair on top was slicked back. I was looking way sharper than any of the JW’s, and it felt empowering too. Anyway, all the JW’s were standing around and chatting when we got there. I also had ‘atheist’ prominently tattooed on my right hand and that felt great. I definitely didn’t look like a JW anymore. It felt great to be an atheist apostate in their delusional midst. I felt like a giant in the room, both physically and mentally. All the seats were set up in a square around the edge of the room. The program started as an older sister put in a video in a video player, and everyone sat down and started listening. Then corny pop religious music started and they all sang along in kumbaya fashion. Next the speaker on the screen started talking about everyday stuff and how the Witnesses should behave in those situations. He also made mocking jokes about us ‘worldly’ people and the JW’s all laughed along. Then I felt something in my hair and turned to see a young toddler combing my hair. I looked at the mother and said “Can you control your child please??” She replied “Oh it’s not an issue. He’s only playing.” All these things triggered me and I jumped up and said to everyone in the room “I can’t do this sht anymore. This really is as bad as I thought it was going to be and as everyone has been saying. You people are all completely brainwashed and aren’t even smart enough to realise it. This is all crap. There’s no god. Wake up and live in reality. And stop listening to your conmen leaders.” They all looked at me shocked, and my parents were still sitting down. They obviously had more patience for bullsht than I did. And then I stormed out. It felt absolutely great. I was finally completely done with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and I was the one calling the shots, not them. And then I woke up from the dream, and I’m now feeling really good and empowered.