***ads play and podcast starts at 1:47
Intro (Timestamp: 1:47) - Rachel: Welcome back to another episode of Rachel Goes Rogue. This is your host, Rachel Savannah Leviss. Today, we are talking about part three of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. - Rachel: It has finally come to an end, season 11. It's been a long time coming, and we're here to react. I have my producers with me, and as usual, they will be asking me some questions to get my perspective on what we just watched during the reunion.
Well, first of all, I want to start off with asking you just your overall thoughts on the reunion, watching it. How do you feel? (Timestamp: 2:19) - Rachel: Overall, I just feel tired at this point. I don't enjoy watching this show, and (Rachel starts to get emotional) I'm just happy that it's over. It was good that they didn't talk about me very much this last episode, part three. - Rachel: That's great, but it's been really difficult watching each week. And I feel like I can finally start to move on from all of this, because it's been really difficult. It was really heavy and sad. - Rachel: And I think everyone on that cast is struggling. And I would be too if I was there. I mean, I'm struggling just watching it from the sidelines, so I can only imagine what it's like being on that stage.
So you're getting really emotional right now. Where is this emotion coming from? (Timestamp: 3:28) - Rachel: It's coming from a place of feeling like I haven't had much room to go. Feeling like stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. Because this entire time, I have been preparing for them to slander my name, to paint me in the worst light. - Rachel: And my goal with this podcast was to be able to represent myself, to defend myself, to share what I've learned through my time that I took away and my recovery, and just to shed more light on the situation. - Rachel: And it hasn't been easy. It's been an extreme rollercoaster of emotions in a lot of different phases, getting sucked back into it, and then feeling like all consumed by all the comments and everything, and then completely cutting off communication with the outside world and living in my own reality in the moment. It's all about that balance, and it has not been easy to move on. - Rachel: I don't think it's been easy for any of the cast to move on rehashing it and talking about it and having other people tune in. It's not typical. It's not normal. And the day has finally come that the show, season 11, is over, and it's a relief to me because I don't have to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. - Rachel: I don't have to think about what lies they're going to spread about me, and I don't have to think about what I need to defend myself about. And then following week, I feel like I can finally start to live my life again.
And so you're kind of talking about the boundaries that you've been setting by staying away and cutting people off, which obviously boundaries was a really big topic at the reunion. You obviously set some really strong ones by not returning to the show. What's your take on this discussion of boundaries? Do you agree with Lala or do you side more with Ariana when it comes to boundaries when it's in regard to filming the show? (Timestamp: 5:40) - Rachel: I could see both of their points of view. Setting a boundary for yourself is not an easy thing to do. And when other people are upset that you set a boundary for yourself, that's usually a telltale sign that that person is using you in some way and is not happy that you have this new boundary because it's not serving them. - Rachel: So, I can see why Ariana upholded her boundaries by not speaking to Tom, even though she actually did film with Tom this whole season, or for the later part anyway. But she refused to have that conversation with Tom at the end of the show, and I commend her for it because it would have been a fake conversation. You could tell that Tom, his only motive to having that conversation with her is for camera purposes and storyline purposes. - Rachel: Therefore, it's not an authentic conversation. It would have been crocodile tears, the whole thing. And I completely understand Ariana walking away. I walked away too, and people weren't happy about that either. - Rachel: For Lala's point of view, I can understand her perspective in wanting to have a good TV show for her livelihood and the longevity of her career. If you're going to commit to filming, then I can see why Lala is upset, because you are not only committing to filming with this person, I can see her point in that she is living under the same roof as Tom. - Rachel: They're living together, they're filming together, yet in Lala's eyes, Ariana is being stubborn by not filming with Tom, or that one scene. Who even cares about that one scene? I don't know. - Rachel: It's all so silly to me, but boundaries are important. I was in a place where I didn't have boundaries, and I was really trying to appease production and put on a good show. That became my priority season 10.
And where do you think the line needs to be drawn, you know? When at the end of the day, this is a paycheck and this is a job, versus this is someone's real life. You've talked a lot about wanting to live in reality. Where do you think that line should be drawn? (Timestamp: 8:32) - Rachel: I think that's an impossible question to answer when you're filming a reality TV show, because the line is so blurry, it's impossible to know what's real and what's not. And the more I'm out of it, the clearer I can see that. We see it with Tom Sandoval when he talked about production. - Rachel: He did the New York Times article, and he stopped talking mid sentence when a plane flew over or a truck drove by, whatever it was, because the audio, typically when we're filming a show and a plane flies by, you stop talking so that the audio can pick up normally without the distraction in the background. - Rachel: So it's like programmed in your mind to think a certain way, to act a certain way, to talk a certain way, to pursue certain things, where it becomes a part of your patterning. We also see the lines get blurred with Scheana and the comment section, and what is real life and what is not, what is her own true motivation for doing certain things, and what is influenced by outside commentary. - Rachel: That gets so blurry, and when you're all consumed in the perception of yourself, how can you really be sure that you're operating from a place of an inner knowing? That's a boundary that's blurred. With Lala, she clearly prioritizes the success of the show because she wants to secure her paycheck, and when people are setting boundaries for themselves and it's conflicting with what she wants and what is successful in her eyes, that sparks an anger within her. - Rachel: And it's all fabricated to a certain point because the bottom line is this show. So, I think it truly is impossible to live a real life and be on a reality TV show.
So, do you think it's fair for Lala to direct that anger towards Ariana? Or do you think she should be directing it more towards the show? (Timestamp: 11:12) - Rachel: Oh, no, not at all. I don't think that it's fair that Lala is directing that anger towards Ariana because Ariana has been very clear with her boundaries since the very beginning and…
I guess if she's feeling this way, do you think maybe she should have upheld her boundaries more if she was feeling so resentful towards someone doing the same? Do you think she's feeling like she regrets things that she had said in the past? (Timestamp: 11:35) - Rachel: I think she did uphold her boundaries. I think that she feels like she hasn't been supported the same way that Ariana is being supported. And it's probably not a good feeling, but she maneuvered differently than Ariana has. And Lala doesn't extend the same empathy towards others. So it's harder to support her, I believe.
She does make a point to say, many times, that she feels like things are not being honest on camera. She points out Tom and Ariana’s relationship being one of those things. Katie has a flashback moment where she also calls it out. Do you agree that things are not always honest on camera? (Timestamp: 12:12) - Rachel: Totally. Yeah. I think the point that Lala is making is that Tom and Ariana haven't been honest about their relationship on camera. - Rachel: And I think people are getting caught up in Lala being hypocritical because she wasn't honest about her relationship with Randall. Okay, yes, that might be true. But the point is that Tom and Ariana haven't been good for quite some time. - Rachel: And their relationship that was portrayed on camera for fans to see was not an accurate representation of their relationship. I see the frustration because I agree with that too.
Even on your part, how does it affect you as someone on the show when people aren't fully honest on camera? How does that affect the rest of the cast? (Timestamp: 13:21) - Rachel: Yeah, it affects everyone when people aren't fully honest on the show. I mean, I wasn't fully honest the season 10 reunion. I was still covering up for Tom Schwartz. - Rachel: I was still covering up for Tom Sandoval. I was still going along with that narrative, and it would have been much better to just be open and honest about it. But of course, Tom was like, no, that wouldn't be good for business. - Rachel: It wouldn't be good for Schwartz and Sandys if people knew that the Schwartz kiss wasn't authentic and we need that to seem real. So it does affect everyone when you're not being honest, because it portrays a certain picture that isn't reality, and the whole point of reality TV supposedly is to be real, following these real people's lives. - Rachel: So honesty would be like the most important value characteristic you would think that everyone on this show should have. But it seems like nobody does.
Well, speaking of honesty, Ariana kind of called out Tom and his motives behind wanting to apologize on camera. He finally does get that moment during the reunion to apologize to Ariana. He has some words when he does, he calls the affair something he regrets every day. He says that he wears it like a badge of shame. On your end, how did that feel watching that? (Timestamp: 14:46) - Rachel: It's hard to tell if Tom is being honest or not. Even in the Secrets Revealed episode, when he was asked how many girls he had sex with since me, and he had to pause and think about if he was going to be honest or not, he's just been caught in so many lies that it's hard to tell if he's being truthful. - Rachel: But hearing Tom say that he regrets getting involved with me every single day, I regret it too, so it is a little bit painful, but it's also like maybe something is registering for him. - Rachel: I don't know. But then again, his actions speak a lot louder than his words. He knows what words to say, and then it seems that he fails to follow through with meaningful action. And that's where true amends come into play.
There was just, I feel like, a lot of pain in the room all around. You kind of acknowledged that at the beginning of this episode. What do you think that this pain, and even Lala saying that she was okay seeing some of those friendships end, what do you think that means for the future of this group? (Timestamp: 16:07) - Rachel: I don't see much of the future for this group. It looks pretty shattered. It looks like these friendships are not healthy friendships. - Rachel: The dynamic between Lala and Scheana is not a healthy dynamic. It seems to be like a power imbalance. It seems like Scheana is trying to appease Lala to make sure she's secure, and she's getting certain needs met in that friendship because Ariana hasn't been around for Scheana the way that she's used to. - Rachel: Yeah, you could tell that Scheana’s struggling with coping with that. It seems like Lala's really on a wavelength of not effing with anybody on the cast right now. It seems like her friendship with Katie isn't strong because Katie's gotten really close with Ariana. - Rachel: It seems like even her friendship with Scheana is a little rocky. I think she sees Scheana as someone that's not...How do I want to say this? - Rachel: And I hate saying this word, because I don't want to like categorize somebody as something, especially because I've been called this before too. But I think seeing how Lala reacted to everything and how Scheana was trying to be the fixer and appease Lala, and it just didn't seem like enough for Lala. I think Lala sees Scheana as someone who is weak, perceived weakness. - Rachel: I'm not saying that Scheana is weak. And I think that there's a lot of alliances and manipulation happening, and none of that is healthy for our friendship dynamic. I can see why the show is taking a hiatus, because it just seems so fractured
Well, it definitely seems like at the very end of the episode, Scheana was very sure to get that last word in. I felt like she was looking directly at Lala and almost begging for her to hear her out that she was on her side. And it really did seem like the very end, Scheana had to choose. Is she Team Ariana or Team Lala? Do you think she made the right choice? Do you think she needed to make a choice, or do you think that she's putting this pressure on herself? (Timestamp: 18:21) - Rachel: Ooh, that's a good question. I think she feels a lot of pressure from the outside perspective, and she doesn't want to, obviously, like burn bridges with Ariana or anything. And I think Ariana has been very gracious towards Scheana. Do I think that she needed to choose sides? I don't think so. I don't know. - Rachel: I can see Lala's frustration probably because I'm sure Sheena and Lala have had conversations about the whole situation. And without Ariana there, I'm sure Sheena's singing a much different tune than what we're hearing at the reunion, and that's sparking some frustration in Lala. And I'm sure that was a similar feeling when she called out Katie about it too. - Rachel: So yeah, I think that Lala feels pretty isolated, I want to say, in her feelings. And now that it's aired, and I did check Reddit for the first time in a very, very long time, it seems like the majority of people are hating on Lala right now. I'm human. - Rachel: I do hold some resentment towards Lala for the way that she's treated me over the years. I do empathize with her a little bit because all the hate online is just a little bit ridiculous. And I think also people are afraid to speak a differing opinion than the team Ariana side because people are just ruthless online and they don't want to hear a differing opinion. - Rachel: And if you do, then you get shunned out, too. It's very, my therapist calls it tribal shaming, where if you're not following the rules of the tribe, spoken or unspoken, then you're cast out and you're shunned.
***ads play and podcast resumes at 23:24
I mean, it does feel like the fans have had more of an impact on this season than ever. Would you agree with that? (Timestamp: 23:24) - Rachel: Yeah, especially because as they were filming this show, the fans were boots on the ground. We're going to production, we're going to filming, and we're going to take photos and document what we saw and all that stuff. Like it was very interactive in a way. - Rachel: I think with after show this year, it was a little bit different because some things have changed since the ending of filming last summer. One of the things was me starting my own podcast and speaking freely about my experience and my opinion and the after show gave the cast an opportunity to rebut what I was saying and it provided more of a context. - Rachel: And I think with more time passing from the end of filming last summer to, you know, early January, February of this year, when they filmed the after shows, cast dynamics shifted because as we all know, now watching the finale, Lala and Ariana did not end on a good note whatsoever. - Rachel: And so, you know, she had some choice of words to say during the after shows. And it seemed like she really got Sheena to support her with that.
Speaking about the fracturing of this cast, something about her did recently open. Not many cast members were in attendance to this opening. What's your take on that? (Timestamp: 24:56) - Rachel: Interesting. Do you know who went? - iHeart Lady: I know Schwartz went - Rachel: It seems a little telling that maybe Sheena and Lala aren't on the best terms with Ariana right now, because they went to like the Broadway opening that Ariana did for Chicago. And they also went to Dancing with the Stars. But this is all before they knew that she didn't watch the show. And so that was all before the reunion and everything. So yeah, it seems like maybe they're not on the best of terms right now.
What are your thoughts on production holding the last five minutes until the reunion to show to everyone? (Timestamp: 25:47) - Rachel: I wonder if they got word that Ariana wasn't watching the season. And they did that as a way to ensure that they would get a reaction from her, kind of like forcing her hand a little bit, forcing her into a situation that she did not want to be in. It was very strategic in that way. And it was something new. Like, we've never done that before. It was creative, for sure, on production's part.
Do you think it was fair to Ariana? (Timestamp: 26:27) - Rachel: There's a commitment, and part of that is watching the show and having an opinion on what's happening besides your own story that you're sharing. So in a way, it's like ensuring that Ariana did have an opinion on it. So very eye opening, to say the least.
I want your take on Tom's final words. He says, I love it. It's good for me. A lot of people in the room were very shocked by that. Tom even has a reaction to it, where he shakes his head no. They didn't even really press him on what he meant by that either. What's your take on all of that? (Timestamp: 26:49) - Rachel: I wish they pressed him on what he meant by that a little bit more. And Ariana was pretty much the only person that called him out on it too. She caught it. - Rachel: She was like, that exactly proves my point, that you are doing things for the audience, for the production value, and for his own story purposes. I guess in Tom's eyes, having Ariana refuse to film and walk off was good for him because he felt like he completed his job and fulfilled his duty with what production was asking from him. And Ariana was not. - Rachel: And I think selfishly, he probably thought that it would give him a better chance of having more of a redemption story. - Rachel: Because, ultimately, production is the one picking and choosing what they're going to share on the show and edit and put certain music behind certain scenes to make it seem even more of a certain way. Tom knows how to play into that. But I would have loved to hear what his explanation for that comment would be.
Why do you think they didn't press him? (Timestamp: 28:34) - Rachel: I think that they're protecting him, like they always have been.
We did see something interesting at the very end with Lisa stepping up and taking Ariana's side, which is kind of a different tune. You've talked about this before, where she seems to protect the guys a lot of the time, but then she changes her tune at the very end of the episode and takes Ariana's side. What are your thoughts on that? (Timestamp: 28:39) - Rachel: I think Lisa is very strategic with what she puts out there as well. And she knows what people are saying about her, with her always supporting the guys. So that could have been a motivation behind her changing her tune and supporting Ariana in that way. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard because I think also Lisa is very aware of who the fan favorites are. It's her show. - Rachel: She's an executive producer on this show. So she's not a dummy when it's coming to that. I think it helps her if she is supporting Ariana because she'll praise Ariana for walking away and end up holding her boundaries. - Rachel: But then when it comes to me, I don't even remember what she said about me. But when it comes to me walking away and setting a boundary for myself, I've been told that I'm a coward and I'm running away from my problems. - Rachel: So that part for me gets a little frustrating because it's like, and also the fans praising Ariana for upholding her boundaries and walking away and supporting her and telling her like, you know, she's outgrown this show. - Rachel: She should move on and do something even better with her life. And she's finding out now that these aren't her true friends and like good for her for upholding her boundaries and walking away from this situation. And I've done the same thing and it has been met with scrutiny.
Lala compares her situation with Randall to Ariana a lot throughout this reunion. Do you think the two are similar at all? (Timestamp: 30:37) - Rachel: I don't think that the relationship that Lala had with Randall is comparable to the situation that Tom and Ariana were in. It's hard to get on Lala's side with some of the things that she's saying, because the way that she spoke about her relationship with Randall is like bragging about doing BJs for PJs and getting gifted a Range Rover very early in their relationship and not being honest about who she was seeing and the situation that was happening basically. And it just seemed like she was in it for the money and like to secure her success and fame. - Rachel: So it's hard to get behind that, especially when she's been so outright about it. Unfortunately, Randall wasn't the stand up guy that she was selling him to be. We weren't buying it. - Rachel: In Ariana's case, viewers got to see that relationship develop over the years, whereas with Lala's, he wasn't around, like it was secret for a while. And, you know, it's harder to develop feelings towards a person or a relationship when you're not seeing it play out on camera. I think Lala has a lot of anger, maybe even towards herself, for the situation that she allowed herself to be in. And I think she might be taking that out on Ariana.
How hard is it to be really honest when you're in this position? And do you think certain cast members have an easier time doing this? (Timestamp: 32:22) - Rachel: So this is like where your own values come in. Like, are you an honest person or are you not? Because there are people in this cast that are not, and we know who they are, and they have no problem lying, and it doesn't bother them when they lie. - Rachel: And for me, I'm working towards living a more authentic, honest life. And part of that is being honest with my emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and expressing that, and doing that in a way that is still respectful, because I'm not trying to hurt people in the process. And I am trying to express myself honestly and be true to myself. - Rachel: So I think it just depends on who you're asking. I mean, it's definitely not easy. It's definitely hard because you're on this platform, this public arena where you're opening yourself up to scrutiny. - Rachel: And if other people have differing opinions than you do, or if your opinion is the minority, you're basically going to be harassed and scrutinized. And so sometimes for people, it's easier to not be fully honest with their thoughts and feelings in order to save face or in order to go with more popular opinion because it's perceived to be safer that way. But I don't know. - Rachel: At this point, it's like your words aren't going to hurt me. You can say whatever you want to say about me online, and I've survived this far. So whatever else you say about me is not going to affect me any more than it already has. - Rachel: I've developed thick skin through this process, and I've come to the point where I value my friendships that are real in the sense of I interact with these people in real life. I care more about people's perception of me when they actually meet me and interact with me and the vibes I give off that way. So you get to a certain point where it's almost your duty to show up for yourself and be honest with how you feel and how you think about a certain thing in that moment. - Rachel: And your opinions can change with time too and with more information. It's not like I'm going to say this one thing and I'm always going to feel this way. It's always changing, it's always developing, we're always getting more information, and we're always experiencing new things that change our perspective on life. - Rachel: So it's just your duty to represent yourself in the most authentic way so that your people will find you.
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Well, I think there was one kind of shining moment, I'll say, even though it was a really emotional moment. But the moment between, and this is a little bit of a pivot, but the moment between Schwartz and Katie, I found really interesting, where Andy was asking about their relationship. It seemed like this season, they had a little bit more of a playful dynamic. But Schwartz gets really emotional, saying that he doesn't regret how their relationship ended. But you can kind of see in his eyes that he tears well up. He gets really emotional. What did you make of that moment? (Timestamp: 38:08) - Rachel: We don't think we've really seen a moment like that between Tom, Schwartz, and Katie. It really seems like they've come to terms with how the relationship ended, and that it was for the best. But it seemed like there was a lot of fond memories and just appreciation for one another, that I don't think I've really seen that dynamic between them before. - iHeart Lady: To me, it seemed like in a season where there was a lot of hurt, that seemed like the one moment of maybe seeing two people that are going through the process of healing. - Rachel: Viewing that, it did seem like they were both coming from a place of healing, because they weren't throwing insults at each other or trying to bring each other down. It was very respecting one another and appreciating the moments that they did have together while it lasted. And that's refreshing to see on this show.
Lala said something at the very end where she said it was really hard for her to show up to season nine reunion, I believe it was. You know, she didn't want to talk about certain things, but she showed up. Ariana said the same thing where she could say the same about the season 10 reunion. She didn't want to be there. You could probably say the same thing about the season 10 reunion. You didn't want to be there as well. Is it fair to say everyone's been in a position where they didn't want to be somewhere, but they did anyway? (Timestamp: 39:44) - Rachel: 100%. Yeah, totally. And that's like the part of committing to this show. It's a commitment. And even though you don't quite know what you're signing up for, you know that it's not going to be necessarily easy. And there's a challenge in that. - Rachel: And I think, just speaking for myself, there was an opportunity for growth for me in that. Yeah, I think we've all been in a situation where we didn't want to show up for something and felt, I don't think obligated is the right word, but we made a commitment to being there, and we followed through with our commitment. And it's hard.
You started this episode off by acknowledging that there was a lot of healing that this cast needs to do. As someone who has taken a step back from filming, you've had this time to kind of come back to your own reality. What can this cast expect when you have that moment to kind of breathe and have that separation and you rejoin reality for a minute? (Timestamp: 41:07) - Rachel: Oh, okay. That is a loaded question. Because I think that there's a little bit of fear with not being the current topic of conversation. - Rachel: I think addiction is the wrong word, but there's a little bit of the dopamine hits that you get when you're being talked about on a reality TV show and the fear of that going away permanently could be a scary thing. But taking time off and re-centering with yourself, I think is like the best thing for this cast right now, because we don't want to be forced into situations that we don't want to be in. That's not living an authentic life. - Rachel: I mean, I've been worrying about scenes and storylines, and I haven't even been a part of this show, but now it feels good not to worry about that. And I do have to say, just like reading all the comments on Reddit right now, it's like hardly anybody is talking about me, which is a great feeling. It's just so much more freeing when you're not living your life for somebody else's entertainment anymore. - Rachel: It just feels like you get your life back a little bit. It's so complex, and I think it's hard to understand if you haven't been through being on a TV show for millions of people to comment on and judge your life. I don't think humans are meant for that, and there's no way that that's healthy. - Rachel: Yeah, I said that I think the cast, we have a lot of healing to do. We, as in, I still do too, and part of that is coming back to reality. And I really don't think that we've had a minute this whole season. I think it's going to be good for everyone.
Has this year though felt different to you? I feel like you're like half in, half out (Timestamp: 43:42) - Rachel: Oh, yeah, it's felt so different. But I think like a large part of that has to do with going to the meadows and really reconnecting with myself and learning about my issues and how it was showing up for me and really coming to terms with like, what is this piece of external validation and how is that motivating me? And is it even real? - Rachel: And just like really re centering back into myself and gaining a lot more perspective with that. Without the meadows, I would not be where I am right now. There's no freaking way. So it is. I'm living a new life. I really am. - Rachel: And I feel like I haven't really been able to truly have the opportunity to live my new life to the fullest because this show has been holding me back. And I know that that's partially my fault too because I'm indulging and speaking about it, but I'm really looking forward to the days when I can truly move forward and evolve into something even more magnificent.
Outro (Timestamp: 45:02) - Rachel: Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive video content at Rachel Goes Rogue Podcast.
***end

The Context:

Silent Hill 2 is a 2001 psychological horror video game from Konami. A trailer was recently revealed for a remake of the game, with updated graphics and gameplay.
Angela Orosco is a character in Silent Hill 2. She is 19 years old, suicidal, and implied to be the victim of sexual assault by her father.
With the release of the trailer for the remake, some have noted changes to character designs and models — specially Angela’s.
Our drama begins when a user posts a screenshot of a reply to a tweet. The original tweet includes Angela’s redesigned model and a “non-woke” edited version. The reply tweet points out that the character is a 19 year-old sexual abuse victim.
Our drama spans over two threads as the new trailer and changes have sparked debate in the sub.

The Drama, Pt. 1

One user objects that the character isn’t real:

She's not real

so ?

So that's not a picture of a 19 year old abuse victim. The outrage isn't based on reality

it IS the picture of a 19 year old abuse victim FROM silent hill, just because she isn’t real doesn’t mean she doesn’t signify or carry a message from the real world

Silent Hill isn't real. The events in Silent Hill 2 never happened

[Continued:]

u really are close minded.. sexual abuse and people dying from diseases, depression, etc does happen irl

I never said that doesn't happen in real life. I said angela sn't real, silent Hill isn't real, and all the events that take place in silent hill 2 are a work of fiction, it's made up, it never happened.

Sure, but that's no reason to justify people reacting like they are. One cannot argue 'None of it's real' while also arguing 'these characters are important to me' or 'I want to invest in this series/game' because the point of the game is for you to immerse and invest in it. You're meant to care about the characters intrinsically, and not about 'what they do for you'. It's absolutely fine to be upset if some 15 year old idiot 'consoomer' whose first thought when he becomes upset about how a female in the game looks responds with "You want my money~! I am your demographic!" makes such an ignorant, room-temperature IQ take like this, and it's fine to let them know why.

I didn't say these characters are important to me. Real people who exist are important to me. People who get emotional about other people having opinions on made up characters must have some deeper issues. This is a subreddit for discussing a video game series, it's not Doctor Phil.

You don't seem to understand the concept of context very well

[Continued:]

The context is that you and some others don't like anything I've said because it hurt your feelings. I understand the context that you are implying, but I want you to find a way to say it before I go on

[…]

It's story telling, dude.

I say this with relief, but most people have not expirienced sexual abuse. Obviously, this is a good thing. However, it's pretty clear these days that empathy for people who have isn't wide-spread. The point of storytelling is broadening horizons, through different perspectives. It should not just be about catering to the audience.

Storytelling is that means of spreading empathy. There is value to the experience it has to share, and regardless of if Angela is real, the experiences she's there to portray are not without inspiration sourced in reality. If your argument is "She's not real. It's not real. Why care?" then you don't get the point of the whole of storytelling. Not just games, like, all of storytelling.

I just want to draw you attention to the OP's post, the original commenter in the image said nothing about SA, it's not mentioned instead the OP brings it up as a shield to prevent any criticism of the characters redesign. That's manipulation, and only an idiot wouldn't see it.

But what about word choice?

Calling someone a “fucking worm” is just as childish as the post they’re criticizing

if someone doesn't want to be called a worm they shouldn't act like a worm. even the engagement bait excuse doesn't work, it's gross behavior.

I would never call someone a disgusting worm but that’s just me 👌

lol ok snowflake
Boo hoo
it's very noble of you to come to the defense of some insane misogynist on twitter

No calling someone a worm is objectively hilarious tbh

”Vulnerable beauty:

She was still the poster girl for the original SH2. Yes she was a sexual abuse victim but there was a certain vulnerable beauty to her that Team Silent/Konami wanted to convey in that iconic knife closeup shot as well as using her face for the actual cover art of the game.

"abuse victim"
"certain vulnerable beauty"
You actually wrote those two things together mate. Get therapy.

a lot of people who apparently have played and think they like silent hill 2 completely lack the maturity to handle any of the themes of the game apparently. angela's attractiveness should not be part of the discourse around her character at all.

A base level of attractiveness is relevant for almost all characters except Eddie. Thats the uncomfortable truth of human nature.
Attractiveness enhances a character’s charm. It enhances melancholic and profound musical performances, it enhances melancholic and profound movies. See Mazzy Star. See 500 Days of Summer. It wouldn’t have been the same if those musical artists and actors had unappealing annoying faces.

just because you are too shallow to empathize with people you don’t find attractive doesn’t mean everyone’s brain is broken in the same way man.

[Continued:]

This isn’t about me. This is about human nature. Look at the top YouTube comments on a Mazzy Star performance. They are praising her visual beauty. And we all know it feeds into the tenderness of the song. Nobody goes “Wtf is wrong with you- her face has nothing to do with the artistic value of the song!!!” You might call it shallow but it’s nothing to be faulted for. We are human.
Angela’s story is melancholic and profound. But Konami wouldn’t have made her the cover art had she been morbidly obese with a pudgy unappealing face. Nor would we SH2 fans hang the game poster of her on our walls if she was morbidly obese with a pudgy unappealing face. That knife pose shot wouldn’t have been nearly as iconic.
Saying all this stuff is very not PC. But there’s a difference between being bothered by the truth and refusing to accept it as the truth.

[…]

You misunderstand the term “vulnerable beauty”. You’re thinking about it negatively in terms of being taken advantage of. It’s not that. Im talking about tenderness and sorrow that is enhanced by natural beauty- and vice versa.
Go on YouTube and look at all the musical performances of songs about melancholy/ vulnerability/tenderness played by legendary artists. Like “fade into you” by Mazzy Star. The top YouTube comments are full of praises on her natural beauty. We know that aesthetic beauty enhances the artistry and vice versa.
Human nature tends to gravitate toward certain types of faces. It wouldn’t be the same if she had a derpy face. There is a reason why Konami decided to use Angela’s face as the cover art for the original SH2 game. Because her vulnerable beauty is a key component of her character. And her character is a key component of the game.
Even for James. The artistic value would be diminished if James had an ugly douchey and generally unlikeable face.

The Drama, Pt. 2

In a second thread, it is confirmed that this is the character’s final design.
DEI is blamed:

i vision apparently given by a DEI consultancy group named Hit Detection.

Holy shit you people treat DEI like it’s the fucking boogeyman. You realize that most games hire DEI consultancy, and they’re not some evil org pulling the strings changing the game, they almost always just check the game to ensure there isn’t any content that will unintentionally offend people?
It’s not some crazy scheme, it’s literally just checking that the writing has the intended response. It’s proofreading.

Because it is. Go actually read the ideology they are based of. DEI is the new fascism

Jesus, you have no idea what fascism means.
Just use pornhub man, this isn't something to go to war for lmao
You know, I was gonna debate you and use logic and sense, but the moment you threw out “facism” because it’s the buzzword of the day, I knew I’d be trying to debate someone with the IQ of a single cell amoeba

Insult to the single-cell amoebas tbh
Sure. Insult the person and not the argument.
Just so you know, I read most of post modernism general theories. It is amazing how it resembles fascism but just much better worded.
So, if you feel so insulted maybe go actually read the texts about DEI,instead of going hating on people.

[Continued:]

They insulted your argument too though. It's just the same basic rhetoric that everyone who thinks this way speaks. It's like you all subscribe to the same newsletter and read the weekly approved script. It's tiring and a waste of everyone's time, including yours.

Dudes never had an original thought in his life, if he didn't just parrot what the other incels say he wouldn't speak at all and the world would be all the better for it.

[…]

Or you could stop being incel
You didn't make an argumeny. You basically said "DEI is fascist go look it up". I looked it up ages ago when all these gamer dudes started scaremongering and it was the biggest non-issue I've ever seen. Like the whole SBI thing that got debunked fucking instantly. Outrage youtubers just found their new target to farm clicks, that's all.
User from kotakuinaction probably gonna link Jordan Petterson video if you ask for links

[…]

Just say the n word, man. We all know what you mean
Yup. People can stick their heads in the dirt and pretend these firms don't affect character designs but it is what it is.
Oh boy. Fuck DEI. Those people came to ruin games. The same way they ruined the other media.

There are allegations of gaslighting:

I cant with so many people gaslighting themselves into liking this design, OR the horrendous voice acting. So many of you guys are in pure copium mode right now, Just like with the trainwreck that is SH short message. This game looks worse and worse every time they show more of it, and everyone sticking up for the hideous character design and pretending the game looks good only because some of you compare it to the miniscule ps2 era gameplay of the OG isn't going to change how crap this remake's vision is. As someone who encourages people to take risks when it comes to remakes and reboots, I will be open minded. But it’s not looking good.

This sub is deleting any comments or posts that even slightly suggest there is something weird with how she looks. Her face does not look like a normal 19 year old girls and if you think it does your on some of that high dose copium.

People on the sub won't take any form of criticism, they'll just downvote you to doom. Her face is rather uncanny imo. I feel like they could've done it better

I don't mind being down voted. I've expressed my opinion and anyone who disagrees is welcome to express theres. What I do find amusing is the "you're just an incel" cope. These are supposed to be people against sexualization but make fun of other people's sex lives. But this is Reddit, so I'm not expecting anything better.

Comparisons are made:

I agree. If they feel inspired by Quagmire from Family Guy, then they should stick to their vision.

Bait used to be believable

I swear Silent Hill “fans” have to be the most obnoxious, I kinda see why we got nothing for such a long time.

Make Genshin fans look almost sane.

Denial used to be believable. Hit Detection worked on this game and that explains a lot.

”Hideous:

She looks hideous. Can't believe this is what Blooper is doing.

Trust me brother you absolutely look worse than her

Yet you don't know what he or she looks like.
Stand on business and post yourself then lil bro
Sad to see people lack the critical thinking to critique this game. Blooper gave this woman a man jaw and it looks downright ugly. How does a character model from 2001 look better than one from 2024? Goes to show how much team silent cared about their game while blooper is just trying to make a quick buck.

The Flairs:

• “the trend of uglyfying formerly ok looking characters just for the progressive checkmark”
  
• “you’re all shit with your toxic positivity”
  
• “if a female doesn't give them a boner then it's woke”
  
• “theyre mad cuz they cant nut to a trauma victim”
  

Welcome to TarotDecks' monthly resale/trade megathread which now takes place every 1st of the month!
Please read the full rules for resale here before posting.
Failure to comply with the rules will result in your comment being removed (and possibly banned from future threads depending on severity). The rules are in place as the best safety net we can offer as mods and not because I enjoy deleting comments. They will be strictly enforced!
KEEP RESALE TO THIS THREAD ONLY! Don’t even post comments linking back here in other threads. To keep a happy middle ground (aka not annoy the people who voted against this idea), any comment about resales outside of here will be removed. These posts will be pinned and announced on a weekly schedule making them easily accessible to everyone!
​
SELLER’S GUIDELINES:
Each seller may have ONE main resale comment per megathread. You may add as many GENUINE decks to that comment as you want as long as they follow the following criteria:
Post a picture of your deck(s) for sale with a handwritten note that includes the date and your username. (Pictures will be valid for one month so no need to redo them if you need to repost next week!) Any comment without a verification photo of the item for sale will be removed.
To post multiple pictures to Reddit comments, please upload them to imgur or imgbb and link back to them in your comment. You can always reply to your own original resale comment, but they may get buried with buyer’s comments.
Reminder: Counterfeit decks are not allowed in Saturday’s resale megathread.
Tips on How to Spot Fake Decks!
​
​
Copy/Paste this description with your photo in your comment:
[ YOUR IMAGE TITLE ]( YOURLINK )
Remove spaces, edit the title, and insert your link to post the above as a nice link.
DECK TITLE:
ARTIST:
CONDITION OF CARDS/BOX: (SEALED/LIKE NEW(free of defects/marks)/MODERATE USE (note any defects here)/VERY WORN (note any defects here)/MISSING CARDS (note missing cards here)/SCRAP DECK)
CONDITION OF GUIDEBOOK: (LIKE NEW (free of defects/marks)/MODERATE USE(note any defects here) /VERY WORN (note any defects here)/MISSING PAGES (note which pages here)/WRITTEN IN/NOT INCLUDED) (Note: If your deck has a QR code, it is probably counterfeit and not allowed to be resold here.)
ASKING PRICE: (**Must include a price. Best offer is fine, but no bidding wars, please!**)
SHIPPING INFO: (Included? If not, price? How? (USPS, FedEx, Royal Mail, etc.) When? Where? (Your country only? Worldwide?))
AVAILABILITY: (FOR SALE/PENDING/SOLD) (Please update this accordingly.)
​
​
EXAMPLE COMMENT FORMAT
POSTED COMMENT EXAMPLE
​
BUYER’S GUIDELINES:
You may comment on however many decks you are interested in buying, but you must post a public reply to the seller on the megathread before DM-ing them.
Use PayPal Goods & Services for all payments or risk losing your money. Mods are not responsible for any loss you may incur from not doing so.
Don’t start haggling sellers over pricing. It’s annoying. Unless best offer is stated, assume that’s what they want for their stuff.
Please leave a small review for the seller once your item is received to help others find legitimate users. Even just a confirmation you received the deck is fine!
​
​
Did you read the rules that are posted here yet?
Okay… but if you don’t read them, it won’t make them go away ;) REPORT ALL SUSPICIOUS ACCOUNTS. PERIOD. We are expecting an uptick in new users due to these threads.
​
**Trading guidelines are more relaxed!**
TRADE GUIDELINES:
Each trade may have ONE main comment per megathread. You may add as many trades to that comment as you want as long as they follow the following criteria:
Post a picture of your trade(s) with a handwritten note that includes the date and your username. (Pictures will be valid for one month!) Any comment without a verification photo of the item for will be removed.
Let’s try to keep trades to where they’re as even as possible. (indie for indie, mass market for mass market, fake for fake, etc.)
​
Each trader should pay for shipping (unless there is a huge difference in what you are shipping, then it’s okay to ask the receiver to help cover the difference).
​
LEAVE A PUBLIC COMMENT ON TRADES BEFORE MOVING TO MESSAGES. New, low karma, and/or bannned users cannot comment here. They can still message you, so be aware who is trying to contact you first. Report anyone breaking this rule to the modmail!
​
Please leave a small review for the seller once your item is received to help others find legitimate users. Even just a confirmation you received the deck is fine!
​
REPORT ALL SUSPICIOUS ACCOUNTS. PERIOD. We are expecting an uptick in new users due to these threads.
​
Reminder: Counterfeit decks are allowed as trades as long as they are disclosed.
Posting a fake deck without disclosing it is an immediate ban!
Tips on How to Spot Fake Decks!
​
Copy/Paste this description with your photo in your comment:
[ YOUR IMAGE TITLE ]( YOURLINK )
Remove spaces, edit the title, and insert your link to post the above as a nice link.
DECK TITLE:
ARTIST:
CONDITION OF CARDS/BOX: (SEALED/LIKE NEW(free of defects/marks)/MODERATE USE (note any defects here)/VERY WORN (note any defects here)/MISSING CARDS (note missing cards here)/SCRAP DECK)
CONDITION OF GUIDEBOOK: (LIKE NEW (free of defects/marks)/MODERATE USE(note any defects here) /VERY WORN (note any defects here)/MISSING PAGES (note which pages here)/WRITTEN IN/NOT INCLUDED) (Note: If your deck has a QR code, it is probably counterfeit and not allowed to be resold here.)
LOOKING FOR: (Try to keep your looking for to as close to the value of your trades as possible.)
AVAILABILITY: (Available/Pending/Traded) (Please update this accordingly.)
​
​
[EXAMPLE COMMENT FORMAT]
[POSTED COMMENT EXAMPLE]
​
(Please note that the formatting for this post may change next week as I’m working everything out with it.)
Have fun!

Location Sound related Self-Promotion is welcome in this post

Welcome to the subreddit regular feature post for self-promotion and discussion about your latest site/film/work/product/business. Here is where you can link to and discuss things you are affiliated with. We encourage you to add a comment to this post providing info and links regarding your support site, blog, videos, sfx kickstarter or whatever else you've got related to Location Sound.
Remember to maintain privacy of your personal information on any public comments.
In trying to balance the Reddit policies on SPAM and self-promotion with the understanding that you may have something that our readers will want to know about, we have created this regular feature post for the subreddit. Instead of banning or removing your info outright, this post allows you to get your info to our readers while keeping our front page free from being used as a billboard. Furthermore, we see this as an opportunity for you and our readers to have a regular go-to for discussion regarding your latest news/info, something for everyone to look forward to. Please keep in mind the following:

• Posters and responders to this thread MAY NOT include an email address, phone number, personal facebook page, or any other personal information. Please use PM's to pass that kind of info along.
  
• Posters and responders to this thread CAN respond with appeals for work.
  
• Note that some links may be removed by Automoderator as it checks certain URLs to keep them off the front page. We will manually approve these posts here (except those against the rules stated above) but may need a little time to catch them and approve them.
  

Chat with us in the /LocationSound Discord channel

Parents living in Paschim Vihar, this article is here to help! Choosing the best Public school for your child can be difficult. We are here to help you make it easier. This article highlights the factors to consider when choosing a Right public school, such as the academic standards, school building, sports and other activities, support services available for children and the school environment. With detailed information and tips, our aim is to help you choose a school that will give your child the best education and prepare them for the future.Paschim Vihar, the western district of Delhi, has fast become an important hub of education. The area is known for its high-quality education, modern facilities, and a wide range of activities. With a mix of traditional and modern educational institutions, Paschim Vihar provides an ideal environment for all-round education. Schools in Paschim Vihar are equipped with modern facilities, including computer labs, modern science classrooms, large playgrounds and excellent libraries. It also has some of the top government schools in Delhi, which attract students from all over the city, creating a vibrant and competitive educational environment.

Importance of Choosing the Right Public School

Choosing the right public school for children is one of the most important decisions parents make. The public school environment greatly influences learning, social development and overall growth of children. A good public school in paschim vihar not only provides good education but also promotes the development of children, instills good values ​​in them and prepares them for the challenges of life.The right school can arouse curiosity in children to learn, increase their confidence and help them excel in every field. Therefore, choosing a public school in paschim vihar that meets their needs and your educational expectations is important for your child's success and happiness.

Factors to Consider When Choosing a Public School

• Academic Reputation

You should consider a school's learning atmosphere before making your decision. You can observe how the school's pupils fare on competitive examinations such as the board exams for classes 10 and 12. A concentrated study atmosphere and consistently strong performance show that the school is giving the students a quality education.Research the curriculum the school offers to make sure it matches your educational goals and your child's learning style.

• Good teachers:

Make sure that the teachers in the school are experienced and have good degrees. Also, they should be interested in teaching. Such teachers can make the child's studies better. Also, see if the school helps its teachers to learn new things.

• Safety of the Surrounding Area

School safety is important to your child's safety. Verify whether the school is located in a safe and convenient area. Verify that safety precautions are in place, including controlled entry points, CCTV cameras, and vigilant security personnel. Also take into account the general safety of the neighborhood, taking into account traffic flow and the presence of walkways.

• Infrastructure and Facilities

Children can learn more well in an environment that is more modern. Examine the classrooms, labs, library, and outdoor areas of the school. Large, well-lit classrooms with contemporary technology are ideal. Children who have access to a modern computer lab and a strong library are more likely to achieve academically. Playgrounds and recreational areas should be available at the school to encourage kids to get interested in sports.

Best Public School in Paschim Vihar : Doon Public School

Located in the heart of Paschim Vihar, Doon Public School is a great example of excellence and innovation in education. The school not only excels in academics but also develops them in an all-round manner. With facilities like large and bright classrooms, well-equipped library, modern science and computer labs, and playgrounds, Doon School provides children with a rich learning experience. Doon Public School provides education with the holistic development of the child in mind. Experienced and continuously learning teachers provide individual attention to the children. Participation in activities such as sports, art, music and drama helps children develop leadership skills, teamwork and important life skills. Overall, this school is dedicated to giving children a strong foundation and helping them succeed. Facilities like counseling, special education programs and regular health checkups are also available. Overall, Doon public School is committed to giving children a strong academic foundation, honing their talents and making them successful and responsible global citizens.

Why Choose Doon Public School?

• Academic Excellence

Doon Public School takes great pride in its outstanding academic performance. The methods of instruction used here have shown to be quite successful. Our pupils' regular success in both board exams and other competitive examinations serves as evidence of this.We ensure that our students are fully prepared for further studies and success in life. Hence, we follow a comprehensive curriculum that emphasizes critical thinking, creativity and practical knowledge.

• Highly Qualified Faculty

Doon Public School takes great pride in its committed and experienced faculty! These educators serve as mentors and role models for the kids in addition to being subject matter specialists. These educators support each child's talent development by giving them their full attention and encouragement.These teachers instill a curiosity in the children to learn so that they are always eager to learn new things. The teachers themselves are constantly learning and teach using modern methods so that children get the best education. Small class sizes allow the teachers to pay individual attention to each child, identify their strengths and weaknesses and teach according to their learning style. The Doon School teachers are not just teachers but also friends, counselors and guides to the children.Teachers at Doon public School are not just teachers but also friends, counselors, and guides to children. In addition to being educators, the teachers at Doon Public School serve as mentors, friends, and counselors for the students.

• Modern Infrastructure and Facilities

The campus of Doon Public School is equipped with new technology for the qualitative development of children. The school has modern classrooms with smart boards and interactive equipment. Also, the science and computer labs are state-of-the-art. The library is full of books and a storehouse of knowledge. Apart from playgrounds, courts and space for various sports are also available. All these facilities give children the opportunity to grow in sports and other activities along with studies.

Conclusion

Choosing the best Paschim Vihar public School is very important for your child's educational success and general development. When choosing a school, there are many things to keep in mind, such as the education criteria, teachers' credentials, facilities, safety and adjunct activities. Doon Public School is one of the top institutions, renowned for providing students with the best education, comprehensive development and state-of-the-art facilities. The Doon public School provides children with a comprehensive learning experience that prepares them for the future, including qualified teachers, a safe environment and a wide range of activities. By taking all these aspects into consideration and doing your research, making an informed choice that will improve your child's future can be achieved. Choose wisely and take care of your child's education .

My previous post about this was removed as it requested two games at once...
One of the mobile games I'm looking for is a racing game, a Mario Kart clone type of thing. What I can remember from it is that one of the playable characters were dressed like a baseball player.
One of the stages had a crowd of recolored versions of another one of the playable character in the background while the soundtrack was probably a 3/4 time signature club music with happy synth lead. The graphics were in 3D and had a cartoonish style.
I would like to play it again just for the sake of nostalgia.

Hey guys, currently I am now 5 months pregnant with my 10-year relationship boyfriend, and he's a cheater. I caught him a couple of times. The first that I caught him, I just can't believe he would do this to me, because he knows that I am pregnant. I caught him chatting and flirting with another girl, and took note she was a co-worker. I forgave him at first because he said he would stop it and I thought that he's gonna change but I was wrong. All I was thinking about was the baby. A few weeks later, I found out that he hadn't cut his connection and relationship with the same girl, and they kept on chatting and flirting 😞 I was so down.
That time, I just don't know what to do l, I was overstressed and the baby. I wanted to break up with him but he didn't want to let me go. He asked again for my forgiveness and I was the martyr here, and for the second chance, I forgave him that I thought again he would change. I just want to have a complete and happy family 😞
Then another few weeks later, just recently I caught him again that time thru the deleted text message on iPhone. They were secretly seeing each other and with all those lies, I've connected all the dots with the same girl!!! He was so sweet and gave so much reassurance that I didn't know there was another girl. I begged him so hard to break up with me but he didn't want to and it hurts so much.
And now, I just don't know what to do if I should let go or stay for the sake of our baby. My baby feels so much stress coming from me 😞 He says that he's changing now, but I don't know how to believe him. I also told him so many times that I would go just for the sake of their relationship, that he should choose her and break up with me. But he still wants to hold onto our relationship, he doesn't want to let me go. I don't know why he's doing that, he knows that I am so much in pain right now because of what he did. I don't know if I am right thinking of making our family work right now or should I let him go. All I want is a stress-free pregnancy 😞

Hey there, I need some advice on whether it's appropriate or just absurd to send a birthday letter and a small gift to my ex-girlfriend. Our situation is a bit complicated, so here's some background:
My ex and I had a relationship that spanned two significant periods. We met, got together, separated (without discussing it at all; we just drifted apart), and then almost a year later, we got back together. We broke up for the second time about three months ago.

• In our first relationship, we had significant lack of communication. I was very avoidant and stressed, which made me distant even though I wanted to be with her and truly loved her. She tried to connect with me, but I just couldn't reciprocate. After our first breakup, I realized what went wrong and started to work on myself, digging deep into my issues and aiming for personal growth. She unknowingly pushed me towards this self-improvement journey.
• We rekindled our relationship around six months ago. This time, I was the one trying to connect, but she had been through a lot in the past year, including a traumatic event, which I won't go into detail about. She wanted the relationship mentally but was emotionally too hurt and tired to commit fully. She has a lot on her plate: a full-time job, started her Bachelor’s studies, and has issues at home with her parents. After two months, she chose not to continue the relationship, feeling it wasn’t fair to me as she couldn’t be fully present, although she saw that I was willing to stay, fight for us, be patient with her, and sit in the mud with her.
• During our breakup talk, I gave her a therapeutic gift so she can draw in her alone time or whenever she likes (she loves to draw but didn’t have many opportunities to do so in the past year). We ended things positively, holding hands while walking around the park and saying "see you later" instead of a formal goodbye.
• I've been focusing on personal growth since then and am not looking to get back together. I genuinely see it as better for her to have the time to heal and get stronger. I wish her all the best because she deserves to be happy.

Her birthday is coming up, and I want to send her a short positive WhatsApp message to congratulate her and say that I've left her something small in her mailbox, hoping it will bring a smile to her face. The gift I want to make it handmade, along with a letter expressing my congratulations and appreciation.
My Conflict: I don't want to overstep any boundaries or make her feel uncomfortable. My wish is simply to make her something special. I aim to respect her space while showing this kind gesture. However, I worry about the potential of triggering negative emotions or discomfort.
So, the question is: Should I go ahead with this, or would it be better to keep my distance and let her celebrate without any of my input?
Any advice or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated.
P.S.: I'm ready for any feedback, and if I seem like I was or am a jerk, believe me, I have heard it all from myself. I really don't like the version of myself from the past year and there is really no excuse for my actions and the way I neglected her and our relationship. I also see things I still need to improve.
TL;DR: Ex-girlfriend's birthday is coming up. We broke up three months ago after a complicated relationship. I want to deliver her a handmade gift and letter but worry it might be inappropriate or make her uncomfortable. Should I go ahead or keep my distance and just send a normal message not too long and not too short?
Thank you in advance!!

Hello. As you can tell by the title I found out something that I thought was interesting and thought that I could share it with you all. It's obviously Technoblade's birthday on June 1 and I wanted to write Happy Birthday to the Legend himself Technoblade. Technoblade will always be Remembered, Honored, and Loved. Here's the interesting part that I found out. So Markus Alexej Persson AKA Notch was also born on June 1. When I realized that I was really surprised and shocked to find out that Technoblade and Notch are birthday buddies. If Technoblade was still alive I just wonder how he would have reacted knowing that Notch is his birthday buddy. I am also wondering how Notch would react knowing that Technoblade is his birthday buddy. I mean Notch is known for creating the video game Minecraft and Technoblade is known for playing Minecraft as a Legend. That is just so amazing, interesting, unique, meaningful, and fascinating to learn about.
Always Remember, Honor, and Love Technoblade as a Legendary man! Always Appreciate, Love, and Support Technoblade's family and friends!

1) I hate restrictions. I hate things and relationships that make me unable to act naturally and freely. 2) I am suspicious of most things, and cannot quickly trust people or information, even if it is from fairly reliable sources, etc. 3) Confidentiality. 4) I love to learn a lot, especially if it is related to topics that interest me. 5) I always like to think rationally and logically, and I always try to be logical. 6) I am able to relate events well. 7) I don't like to depend on anyone or anything. I like to rely only on myself. 8) I prefer to be alone and do the things I love alone. 9) I like to learn through my previous experiences. 10) My style of discussion is: I listen to the other party and wait for him to complete his point of view, even if his point of view conflicts with mine. I try to understand his point of view and see the evidence and arguments. If I am convinced, this is normal, and if I am not convinced, this is normal. I am one of the calmest people in the debate and the type who does not attack, does not rush, or gets angry because the other party does not resemble my point of view. 11) The first impression of me is always that I am quiet, I don't talk much, and I am somewhat serious, and people almost avoid me at first because of my semi-serious appearance. 12) People call me cold.. 13) I don't take the initiative. 14) If I'm with people I care about, I'll talk and laugh normally, but if I don't like people, they'll see me as cold and not talking much. 15) I ignore a lot. 16) I do not like for anyone to praise me because I do not know what to do or what is the appropriate reaction to give, so I try to ignore the praise and treat myself as if I do not hear it, and if I want to say something, I will just say thank you. 17) I always hide my feelings, I do not like to show them to anyone, and I always suppress them. 18) I value personal space very much, and I do not like anyone to enter my life, nor do I like to enter people’s lives. 19) I like to help people I care about. 20) I am afraid to show people facts about me because I am afraid that people will use them against me 21) I do not like to be a leader, but if there is no leader and I see that everyone is not good at assuming the leadership position, then I donate and take it and be strict and harsh because I believe that the quality of strictness should be in a leader. 22) Care a lot about how some things work. 23) I love sports. For example, I love martial arts, I love running, I love playing football, etc., but I do not practice them because circumstances do not allow me. 24) I love scientific things such as mathematics and physics, and I love learning them and delving into them. 25) I don't make detailed long-term plans for the future. If I want to make plans, I'll make plans with bullet points or simple details, but more often than not I make plans with bullet points to the point that it's very natural for me to keep them in my head, and not have to write them down on notes or paper so I can remember them. 26) I hate emotional talk. 27) I hate physical contact. 28) I like to take things apart to see how they work and what they are made of. I don't fix it, but I would like to know how it works. 29) I don’t like compliments, so I don’t always compliment and be honest. 30) I get bored quickly sometimes. 31) I don't care about people leaving my life, this is very normal for me and I get over it very quickly. 32) I don't think about the future or the past much. Mostly, I focus on the present. 33) To be honest, sometimes I like rules and follow them, but not always. 34) I always like to search for the exact meaning of words. 35) I am always interested in developing myself scientifically. 36) I like deep and realistic thoughts. 37) I love and appreciate respect, and if I respect someone and he does not respect me, I will get angry and perhaps hurt him. 38) I do not like when others underestimate my abilities, and if someone underestimates my abilities, I try to prove my abilities to him. 39) I show my interest in a person through actions, not words. I show this by encouraging and supporting him with what he does, sharing tips, sharing my knowledge with him, asking how he is doing, helping him when he needs me, but I never like emotional talk. 40) I'm not a bit of a nervous person. 41) I know a lot about my surroundings without any effort on my part, but I do not talk about it. 42) I like to go to the library and read books there, but circumstances do not allow me to read books on the Internet. 43) I can do things even if I don't know how. I mean I can draw even though I don't know. I mean my senses are almost ready to do anything, even if I don't know. 44) I prefer to learn by myself. 45) At first people are always afraid to approach me because I look serious and sharp, but only when you get to know me. If people I feel comfortable with and care about. I will be helpful, I can be kind, I will joke with them and laugh. I'm the exact opposite when I'm with people I don't feel comfortable with and I don't care about them. 46) If someone asks for an opinion on something, I will give him my advice based on my previous experiences, analysis of the situation, and the information I have on this topic. 47) I hate being controlled by people. 48) I have good self-confidence. 49) I love realistic and tangible things, and I can use my senses with them, and I love applying them to reality if they can be applied to reality. 50) I like isolation and do not like meeting people. 51) I don't laugh a lot, but I smile and not a lot either. 52) Almost everyone around me says I'm complicated. 53) I do not like noise, loud voices, and screaming. 54) I don't cry much and it's rare for me to do so. 55) I have a kind of apathy. 56) When I am with myself, I feel comfortable, entertained, and happy, unlike when I am with others. 57) I don't care about the things that surround me if they don't interest me. 58) I hate memories, and if people give me a memory, I will throw it away. The thing is, I hate memories and I hate making memories in general. 59) I have a fairly good sense of humor, but it doesn't show to anyone and doesn't always show. 60) I don't complain, I hate complaining, and I hate people who complain a lot. 61) I have an obsession with education and knowledge. I'm literally afraid that I won't be able to think logically and correctly because I don't have enough knowledge, so I love learning and I love knowledge. 62) Maybe I am mysterious and I keep many things in my life and do not reveal them. 63) Not committed most of the time. 64) I don't care about criticism. 65) I never, ever give up, whenever I fail, I try again. 66) I have a little bit of narcissism and a little bit of paranoia to a degree that is not always obvious. 67) One time a family member told me that you always answer me (it's normal, it's not a problem, I don't know....) My answers are like this because the topic does not interest me. This means that if something doesn't matter to me, I can't pretend that I do. 68) I was described as not caring about people’s feelings, cold and very frank, not interested in relationships, quiet, mysterious, flexible in speech, with a courageous personality, good at school, intelligent and introverted.
Note: I will take your opinions as a guess only because no one knows themselves better than themselves.

1) I hate restrictions. I hate things and relationships that make me unable to act naturally and freely. 2) I am suspicious of most things, and cannot quickly trust people or information, even if it is from fairly reliable sources, etc. 3) Confidentiality. 4) I love to learn a lot, especially if it is related to topics that interest me. 5) I always like to think rationally and logically, and I always try to be logical. 6) I am able to relate events well. 7) I don't like to depend on anyone or anything. I like to rely only on myself. 8) I prefer to be alone and do the things I love alone. 9) I like to learn through my previous experiences. 10) My style of discussion is: I listen to the other party and wait for him to complete his point of view, even if his point of view conflicts with mine. I try to understand his point of view and see the evidence and arguments. If I am convinced, this is normal, and if I am not convinced, this is normal. I am one of the calmest people in the debate and the type who does not attack, does not rush, or gets angry because the other party does not resemble my point of view. 11) The first impression of me is always that I am quiet, I don't talk much, and I am somewhat serious, and people almost avoid me at first because of my semi-serious appearance. 12) People call me cold.. 13) I don't take the initiative. 14) If I'm with people I care about, I'll talk and laugh normally, but if I don't like people, they'll see me as cold and not talking much. 15) I ignore a lot. 16) I do not like for anyone to praise me because I do not know what to do or what is the appropriate reaction to give, so I try to ignore the praise and treat myself as if I do not hear it, and if I want to say something, I will just say thank you. 17) I always hide my feelings, I do not like to show them to anyone, and I always suppress them. 18) I value personal space very much, and I do not like anyone to enter my life, nor do I like to enter people’s lives. 19) I like to help people I care about. 20) I am afraid to show people facts about me because I am afraid that people will use them against me 21) I do not like to be a leader, but if there is no leader and I see that everyone is not good at assuming the leadership position, then I donate and take it and be strict and harsh because I believe that the quality of strictness should be in a leader. 22) Care a lot about how some things work. 23) I love sports. For example, I love martial arts, I love running, I love playing football, etc., but I do not practice them because circumstances do not allow me. 24) I love scientific things such as mathematics and physics, and I love learning them and delving into them. 25) I don't make detailed long-term plans for the future. If I want to make plans, I'll make plans with bullet points or simple details, but more often than not I make plans with bullet points to the point that it's very natural for me to keep them in my head, and not have to write them down on notes or paper so I can remember them. 26) I hate emotional talk. 27) I hate physical contact. 28) I like to take things apart to see how they work and what they are made of. I don't fix it, but I would like to know how it works. 29) I don’t like compliments, so I don’t always compliment and be honest. 30) I get bored quickly sometimes. 31) I don't care about people leaving my life, this is very normal for me and I get over it very quickly. 32) I don't think about the future or the past much. Mostly, I focus on the present. 33) To be honest, sometimes I like rules and follow them, but not always. 34) I always like to search for the exact meaning of words. 35) I am always interested in developing myself scientifically. 36) I like deep and realistic thoughts. 37) I love and appreciate respect, and if I respect someone and he does not respect me, I will get angry and perhaps hurt him. 38) I do not like when others underestimate my abilities, and if someone underestimates my abilities, I try to prove my abilities to him. 39) I show my interest in a person through actions, not words. I show this by encouraging and supporting him with what he does, sharing tips, sharing my knowledge with him, asking how he is doing, helping him when he needs me, but I never like emotional talk. 40) I'm not a bit of a nervous person. 41) I know a lot about my surroundings without any effort on my part, but I do not talk about it. 42) I like to go to the library and read books there, but circumstances do not allow me to read books on the Internet. 43) I can do things even if I don't know how. I mean I can draw even though I don't know. I mean my senses are almost ready to do anything, even if I don't know. 44) I prefer to learn by myself. 45) At first people are always afraid to approach me because I look serious and sharp, but only when you get to know me. If people I feel comfortable with and care about. I will be helpful, I can be kind, I will joke with them and laugh. I'm the exact opposite when I'm with people I don't feel comfortable with and I don't care about them. 46) If someone asks for an opinion on something, I will give him my advice based on my previous experiences, analysis of the situation, and the information I have on this topic. 47) I hate being controlled by people. 48) I have good self-confidence. 49) I love realistic and tangible things, and I can use my senses with them, and I love applying them to reality if they can be applied to reality. 50) I like isolation and do not like meeting people. 51) I don't laugh a lot, but I smile and not a lot either. 52) Almost everyone around me says I'm complicated. 53) I do not like noise, loud voices, and screaming. 54) I don't cry much and it's rare for me to do so. 55) I have a kind of apathy. 56) When I am with myself, I feel comfortable, entertained, and happy, unlike when I am with others. 57) I don't care about the things that surround me if they don't interest me. 58) I hate memories, and if people give me a memory, I will throw it away. The thing is, I hate memories and I hate making memories in general. 59) I have a fairly good sense of humor, but it doesn't show to anyone and doesn't always show. 60) I don't complain, I hate complaining, and I hate people who complain a lot. 61) I have an obsession with education and knowledge. I'm literally afraid that I won't be able to think logically and correctly because I don't have enough knowledge, so I love learning and I love knowledge. 62) Maybe I am mysterious and I keep many things in my life and do not reveal them. 63) Not committed most of the time. 64) I don't care about criticism. 65) I never, ever give up, whenever I fail, I try again. 66) I have a little bit of narcissism and a little bit of paranoia to a degree that is not always obvious. 67) One time a family member told me that you always answer me (it's normal, it's not a problem, I don't know....) My answers are like this because the topic does not interest me. This means that if something doesn't matter to me, I can't pretend that I do. 68) I was described as not caring about people’s feelings, cold and very frank, not interested in relationships, quiet, mysterious, flexible in speech, with a courageous personality, good at school, intelligent and introverted.
Note: I will take your opinions as a guess only because no one knows themselves better than themselves.

Hello friends! I recently bought a 2008 BMW X3 for my son and while it is a great car and we are both very happy with it, I would love to install an Apple Car play system and backup camera. I’ve been looking online and there are quite a few options but the majority are actually Android systems (even though they claim to be Apple car play). Also, the prices range from less than $200 up to a couple thousand, and non seem to include a backup camera that integrates with the screen.
I would really appreciate any advice or recommendations on a decent unit, preferably around $500ish, as I’m not looking to put a thousand plus dollars in a 16 year old vehicle that I only spent $5,000 on to begin with. I can install the unit myself, so I’m not concerned with factoring in installation costs.
As a side note, my wife drives a 2019 X7 and I drive a 2018 X5. My son fell in love with my car and tried his best to talk me into buying myself a new car and give him my X5. I’m still making payments on it so no way am I giving that to a 16 year old to probably reck or ding up lol.
I have a good friend who is a BMW enthusiast and works on BMWs but is old school and will only drive older models. He sold me his X3 for just under $5,000, which is a great price (nowadays) for a first car for a teenager. He, of course, was not much help when asking for advice on this upgrade as he dislikes any technology in his cars.
Thank you all in advance or your help!

Allow me to introduce you to Dana Strout, a true Renaissance individual whose talents span far and wide, leaving an indelible mark on Maine's landscape. From his expertise as a seasoned attorney to his passion for capturing timeless moments through photography and his captivating presence on the airwaves, Dana embodies the essence of versatility and creativity.
Mastering the Legal Landscape
In the heart of Camden/Rockport, Dana is renowned for his prowess in construction law. With over three decades of experience, Dana navigates the intricate legal terrain with finesse, providing clients with invaluable guidance and representation.
Capturing Timeless Moments Through Photography
Beyond the courtroom, Dana's lens captures the essence of Maine's beauty. His expertise in 19th and early 20th-century photographic processes lends a nostalgic charm to his work, transporting viewers to a bygone era of simplicity and elegance.
A Voice on the Airwaves
For years, Dana has graced the airwaves of WERU Community Radio, captivating listeners with his engaging programming. Through storytelling and music, Dana fosters connections within the community, sharing tales that resonate deeply with his audience.
Embracing Life's Joys
Outside of his professional pursuits, Dana finds solace in life's simple pleasures. Amidst the picturesque backdrop of Camden, Dana and his wife, accompanied by their two feline companions, relish moments of laughter, gymnastics, and the occasional good story.

Hey everyone, I don't expect anyone to reply to this as it'll probably be shrouded by the other posts. Just needed somewhere to write it all down.
My life has never been good. I've had moments of happiness, even for extended periods of time, but never for longer than a few months at most. I grew up in a horrible environments in and out of CPS where my Mum finally got custody of me at age 3, after I remained in a foster home for around 6 months. My Mom tried so hard for me, even until she won her court case against my birth Father. Until I was around 12, I was raised in a fairly normal environment by myself. Most of my childhood I never endured abuse or anything like that. It wasn't until I was 12, shit got real. At that age, people deemed my problems invalid because I was so young and "it couldn't be that bad" or "other people have it worse". I could never tell my Mum because I didn't want to dissapoint her and make it seem like all her efforts were for naught. As such, I sat alone with my problems, occasionally talking to people online, but nothing helped. When I turned 13, I discovered herbal cigarettes for the first time. I would roll a herb (usually something that produced a relaxing effect or a minor hallucinagen) and smoke it on my porch when my parents weren't home. After I first tried it, I told myself, "It was a good stress reliever, but I'm not gonna do this again. It's bad for me." This cycle repeated daily for around a month. Eventually, my parents found out. Despite my worries, they weren't mad. But the dissapointment in my Mum's eyes were unreal.
This was the moment where I first lost my parents trust.
Eventually, I stopped, as my parents hid everything away from me. Because of this I never wanted to be at my house, so I was with a new group of "friends: I had made. There was this one guy, who I'll name John. John shared a lot of my common interests, and would talk to me during class and we'd hang out at the centre of our city pretty often, just us two messing around and having fun, like a bunch of 8th grade boys. This lasted for a few months. I had one of the best birthdays ever with him. Around a month afterwards, this man somehow tricked me into sending nudes to him. I'm a straight man. I thought this was another one of his jokes and we'd be chill afterwards.
I was wrong.
The next day, I went to school surrounded by weirded stares and comments on the situation. I knew then, that I seriously fucked up bad. I somehow got myself out of the situation by saying it wasn't me, but my friendship with John was diminished. Despite this, he was the only friend I actually hung out with consistently after that. I dealt with his remarks in the times in the future, which grew more and more consistent as the times went on. I knew I had to let him go after he told my principle that I had a weapon on me for self defense (which basically everyone in my city does), which nearly led to me being suspended. Eventually, I abandoned him all together, and ran with whatever little amount of pride I had left. I fell into a huge state of depression after this. Even my online friends didn't want me anymore. Someone had accused me of being a pedophile and falsified screenshots. I had no one.
One day, after school, a friend who I wasn't particularly close with wanted to hang out with me after school. He mentioned his parents had a cabinet full of alcohol.
Seeing no danger with this, I accepted without hesitation. This was my first experience with alcohol. I got wasted with him, and for the first time in months, my worries washed away. Eventually, this became a weekly occurance. I would tell my parents I was going to the park, but instead I would get drunk with my friend. This soon became the only way I could live without stress. Around this time, I became closer with an acuqainted friend and his friend group, who we'll call Terry and his friends. Terry was a chill guy. We didn't share all the same interests, but he liked me for who I was. He didn't care about my past. I became closer with his friends, too. Eventually this became my new friend group. Around the time I formed this new friend group, I stopped going drinking with my other friend. Not because I didn't want to, but because he stopped pestering me to hang out with him like he did the months before. Instead, the roles were reversed at that point. Me and this friend group started hanging out more, and more, and more.
During this time, I met my first love. It was online, but it felt like the best thing in the world. We were young, and stupid. She was beautiful. I remember first talking to her on the phone on the plane ride to my Uncle's wedding. I decided to myself that I really liked this girl. I wanted her more than anything. I remember she was the only thing I dedicated myself for. Something I felt was worth being there for. I finally felt like I had some worth for the first time in forever. I should mention this was slightly before the drinking thing. We talked, we called, we loved for two whole weeks. Towards the end, I made the stupid mistake of telling her that "if I didn't meet her I probably would've killed myself". This wasn't entirely true. I was depressed before talking to her, but I don't think I was suicidal. However, this seemed to be a problem for her. Apparently, she felt trapped. Thus, she left me. I remember having to hide my heartbreak from my parents. I shortly got over it, however, and met a new girl from my school. I realize now I didn't love her, I loved the idea of being in a relationship. I remember joking to my ex about how bad my girtlfriend at the time was. After a while, she found out I was following other girls on instagram. I denied it at first, but discovered it was an opportunity to pin a breakup on her not trusting me enough, so I used that reason and dumped her. She later told the whole school I was unloyal (which I wasn't, I didn't even talk to the girls I followed). She proceeded to post shitty photos of me on her tiktok account. I remember being fuming. If sonething so small was the worst of my problems now, I would be blissful happy right now. A few weeks afterwards, I got back with my first ex. This time, it was one sided. After just over a month, I began to look at girls in my class with desire. I completely broke it off with my ex, telling her I didn't love her anymore. Years later, I still regret this decision. She accepted this, and we remained friends. Every time I felt lonely, I would talk to her again, and we would begin talking like we were together again. This repeated for around 6 months. We kept talking until around a few months ago, where I discovered she blocked me out of nowhere. I believe it was out of respect for her new boyfriend, which I respect.
After we had broken it off for the final time, I began spending time outside of school with my new friend group. Slowly, we began to hang out more and more. I even found a new girlfriend, which I had found off of quick add on snapchat, lol. Around Christmas, things went downhill. My friends asked a personal question, which was whether my girlfriend had sent me explicit pictures (i thought it would make me sound cooler if I said yes), but then they caught me in the lie, and they immediately lost trust for me. I saw the same look in their eyes as I saw in my Mother. Distrust. I tried to salvage the friendship, but I new it wouldn't be the same ever again. It still isn't. I saw the cycle repeat itself. Like last time, I left my girlfriend because I lost interest. I began to become depressed again. I started vaping and drinking to escape the pain. I didn't care as much about my looks anymore. I remember having one of the worst heartbreaks of my life afterwards. I told myself I wouldn't date ever again. I still hung out with my friends, but we all knew inside that we didnt care for each other as much as we acted. For around a month, I lived life in a cycle. A depressed cycle. One day, I caught a glimpse of a girl in my class who was exactly my type in a woman, physically and mentally. I knew she was far too good for me. I barely talked to her, and didn't have her on any social media. I eventually got the courage one afternoon to add her on snapchat, after one of my friends gave me her snap. This was after a mutual friend informed me that she found me attractive, which I didn't buy. The night I added her, we talked, and I rememebr playing games with her and her friends. It was one of the best nights I've ever had. I fucked up my sleep sdchedule just to speak to her longer. I got to know her more, and more. She was the most beautiful and perfect girl in the world. My eternal bliss lasted for a week. I had ordered flowers to ask her out with and I had the whole thing planned out with her friends. I remember going to my first work shift, and coming home, and getting a message from her:
"Hey, I think I'm lesbian. It's not your fault, I promise. I'm so sorry."
I was heartbroken, I kept tryna suffocated myself over and over again. I asked her why, what her thought process was. She eventually tired of my questions and she said that I was being a dick about it. I ended up sending her a message later that day telling her that I was sorry for being a dick about it (I still don't know what I did wrong). I didn't go to school the next day. I remember avoiding her hard for the whole rest of the school term. I was insanely depressed afterwards, the worst I've ever felt. she was the best thing that ever happened to me. I tried weed for the first time afterwards, it was mesmerising. It nearly compared to the feeling of being with her. But it was only a temporary escape. As the weeks went on, I became more and more depressed. Then, my parents found out I smoked weed, and my own mother told the police (I still dont know if thats morally right and im overthinking it) and my whole family found out and now hates me. I'm scheduled to see them tomorrow. I'm being illegally overowkred by my job, and I can;t do anything about it. I didn;t show up today, I'm probably already fired. I tried a cigarette today, it was one last thing I wanted to know before I pass. I went to one last convension today, and asked God for a sign to keep living. I ended up meeting a girl, asking for her number, and she gave me her insta and messaged me "You really thought I'd date you? Not tryna be mean".
In three hours, it'll turn midnight. I'll go to a store, find nitrous oxide, and overdose on that. Asphyxiation isn't that painful. I have nothing at all.

Hi, I wanted to know what my rights are and what options I have available to me for the below situation. I've only been in this job for 6 months and am currently off work with stress (my GP has signed me off for a month).
I started a new job in January this year. Before I started I was made aware that one of my direct reports. let's call them Bob, had unsuccessfully applied for my role and would I be happy to coach them to help them should any other senior roles became available. Which I was and did! Bob didn't want to be coached by me.
My second day in my new job and Bob is notably not happy. There's atmosphere but I don't feel it's directed towards me as they are also cold towards others. In contrast, they happily chat away to two of their colleagues, who I later discovered are a clique.
We have our first team meeting, during which I wanted to discuss how the team work so I can get a feeling of the team culture. One of the questions I ask is how do they inform each other their location; working from home, in the office, sick, holiday, training, etc, is there a team calendar? I'm told they don't, so I show them a location tracker that was used in my previous job. Bob speaks up and says they think I am a micromanager and it's no business of mine where the team are. My response is that I'm sorry Bob feels that way but as a manager I do need know where my team are. Bob continues on this 'micromanaging' trajectory and says the person they will inform is Sue because Sue won't come into the office if Bob is not there. I ask the rest for their opinions, they all put their heads down and say nothing; Bob says they're speaking for the team. I assertively interrupt Bob and move on to a different subject, which is also heavily criticised by Bob.
I was shaken by Bob's behaviour during the team meeting but I thought it through and decided that perhaps it was the way I approached the subject. I set-up in-person 1:2:1s with my team, and mention to Bob that I would discuss what happen during the team meeting to gain an understanding of how they felt it went and to discuss their ideas. Bob refuses to meet with me, to which I remind them that it is important that we have 1:2:1s and that we discuss what happened in the team meeting as from a new manager's perspective I want to learn if I could have handled the subject better; if it made Bob feel comfortable we could have the meeting away from the workplace, in a nearby cafe. Bob replies that I am harassing them, could I please leave them alone. I eventually convince Bob to talk to me, but it's on-line only (I'm in a private meeting room, Bob's at home). Bob denies they called me a micromanager, however, when pressed they suddenly remember that I am a micromanager and call me some unsavoury names. Before I have a chance to retort, Bob says they want to move on from all this and could we start again. I agree to. I don't want this hassle during my first week.
Shortly after my meeting with Bob, my manager asks if everything is okay. When I say everything is, they say that's not what they've heard, could we have a private chat. I tell them about the micromanaging accusations and the name calling. They're appalled and state that they have also had similar problems with Bob, as has others, so it's off to HR we go. HR's advice is not to take formal action but to keep a diary of events, which I start doing.
Bob's behaviour doesn't improve, they don't follow my instructions and everything I say is because I'm out to get them. There was one incident whereby Bob wanted to take time off just before a big project deadline was due. I ask how they were getting on with the project and were they on track to meet the deadline. I get no response. I state that I can't approve any leave until I'm satisfied that the deadline will be met because the deadline cannot be moved. Bob says that our dept director approved their leave. I say, that's fine and I will speak to the director. No response from Bob. I instead speak to my line manager who agrees, no leave until they can prove that they are on track with the deadline ahead of schedule. I report this back to Bob, no response.
The next day I'm called into HR, Bob has raised a formal complaint against me. HR have told Bob that they have no grounds to raise a formal grievance as I am within my right to decline leave for the reason I gave but recognise there are issues with our working relationship therefore they would like explore mediation. Bob initially refuses the mediation. In the meantime, I discover that Bob has been having regular meetings with my line manager to gain clarification on my instructions and to complain about me. They started to going HR when my manager refused to take their complaints further. Not once did Bob ask me to clarify anything nor did they raise any issues with me.
We eventually have the mediation, during which Bob reads out a statement which was an attack on my personality and there was very little about our working relationship. During the statement Bob states that no-one in the organisation likes me as they see me as problematic and I have created an unsafe environment for all to work in (there are 1000+ staff - so I know this isn't true). I'm a liar and I'm not to be trusted. Bob is scared of me because they've seen what I am capable of and are scared I will turn violent. Bob has had to take over management of the team because of my actions. Again, not true.
I leave the mediation visibly upset, my colleagues show concern and my manager clears their calendar for the afternoon. I'm sent home and HR contacts me as my manager has said I may want to raise a grievance. HR advise I can't raise anything based on the mediation nor can I discuss what happened in the mediation with anyone, including my line manager (which I already have but they kindly chose to ignore this), but I can regarding the alleged malicious complaints and upward bullying. So, I do.
Bob raises a counter grievance, which I expect they would. In their grievance, Bob included what I allegedly said in the mediation, what others (their clique) has said about me, and also raises my health issues. Bob says I only disclosed my health issues because I wanted to gaslight and control the team. My health issues are/were; I'm going through the peri-menopause and was experiencing adverse side-effects with the HRT I was prescribed; I experienced heavy bleeding to the point I couldn't leave my home. Just as I was starting this job, my GP changed my prescription which would eventually stop the heavy bleeding but it brought on vertigo attacks. As a result I needed to work from home most days and thought it was best to explain to my team why. Prior to doing so, I referred to company policy, spoke to my line manager, and referred to ACAS's advice on disclosing menopause to staff. I'm now fine, the side-effects are no more.
It's this counter-grievance which is worrying me, why is Bob able to use:

• what was said in the mediation to form a grievance, while I'm not?
• someone's health condition, which is unavoidable, to form a grievance. Is this ageist or ableist?

Following the union's advice I have pushed back on point one with HR. HR have said they would add my concerns to the grievance. Please note that the union are unable to formally help me because my membership started after the first complaint which lead to the grievances.
I'm also worried about my sick leave, a month is a long time and I am still my probation. But I can't work, I'm paranoid that people do hate me plus if I do go to work that Bob will find more things to complain about - honestly, I get a new complaint every week, even when I was holiday I offended Bob. I can't deal with the constant complaints, they've taken over my working life. I've spoken the Occupational Health nurse and they've reassured me that the best place for me is home to recover, at this time they wouldn't agree for me to return to work before the sick note expires.
While I'm awaiting the outcome of both grievances, what should I be considering? I know that in the UK I have limit rights as I've only been in the job for 5 months, but is there something I can consider? Or should I just wait for the outcome and deal with it then?
Thank you

I'm ready to burn some shit down, but I don't want to do it with my FB profiles that are in the groups. I have two questions about enhanced support:
Do you need to use your real name on your FB profile in order to get the enhanced FB support to report the groups successfully?
Do you need to be the person in the photo, or can you report any post?
I no longer have a "real" Facebook account. I have several fake ones so I can copy screenshots and take notes. I'm in four groups and have been quietly collecting evidence. I have each of their last 2,000 members in a spreadsheet, including their Usernames and URLs to their profiles, which I hope to release somewhere publicly (where? Can I put this in one of the Exposed groups? Is it allowed?).
I have full-page screenshots of posts going back to 2023 for all of the groups. I am in the process of cropping out and blurring the ones that need to be shared or reported. Those that should be reported are put in a folder along with a text file that has the URL to the post and, if not anonymous, the URL to the poster's profile.
I'm itching to release all of it, but I want to do it all at once and there's one more group I'm trying to infiltrate first in case releasing everything causes them to lock out all new members.

When you’re experiencing love bombing in the initial stages of a narcissistic relationship, there is always that wish that it goes on forever. You’re being treated like royalty, your ego is being stroked, you’re going on great vacations, and everything seems to be going perfectly well, and you are just ‘madly in love.’ It’s those moments that stick with you forever, and your only wish is for you and your love bomber to maintain those highs till the end or even infinitely. On top of that, in the love bombing phase, there is always the aspect of having fantasies about the future. So, the present idealization and the promised future looked so bright, and you end up getting swept off your feet.
So, you may be asking yourself is a narcissist or just anyone can maintain that love bombing phase forever and that’s what I’m going to answer today and explain why it’s impossible to maintain that love bombing phase for a lifetime.
The Hard Limits of the Narcissist's Mind
While their skills at love bombing can feel so intoxicating and almost magical in their intensity, it's important to realize the limited ways a narcissist’s mind functions. On a deeper level, a narcissist got through life feeling cut off from their own deeper feelings and dealing with serious insecurity, shame, and problems with staying connected to people.
Instead of developing the emotional capacity for genuine intimacy, narcissists depend on a pattern of idolizing their romantic partners and enjoying the idealized image they’ve created. It's a give-and-take arrangement that fulfills their need for attention and constant reassurance that they've found an ideal, flawless partner.
Their strong desires and the initial intense affection they show come from a deep emptiness inside them that they can't fill, no matter what. When you no longer meet their unrealistic expectations, they realize this emptiness, leading to them treating you badly or discarding you, as they struggle with their own deep emotional issues.
Analogy: Thirsty Wanderer
Imagine someone wandering through a vast, empty desert, dreaming of finding an oasis their mind conjures up. They're so thirsty that they see it vividly - palm trees swaying, a sparkling lake with clear water, a peaceful escape from the harsh desert. Driven by desperation rather than reality, they eagerly rush toward each mirage, only to watch it vanish before their eyes every time. Despite knowing they're just illusions, they rely on these false hopes to survive, even though they never quench their thirst.
The tough environment only allows those mirages to show up briefly. It's not because the wanderer doesn't deserve a real oasis, but because their own inner emptiness stops them from seeing anything beyond those short-lived mirages.
That's the tricky thing about narcissists' love bombing - even though their affectionate gestures might feel wonderful and long-lasting, their inner emptiness and emotional detachment will eventually ruin those fantasies. As their ego gets more fragile and they become more afraid of being left alone, any perfect images they've created will crumble.
Do not Wait for the Love Bombing
While you may really wish for the lovebombing phase of the relationship, or even dream about it each day and each night, do not let it stop you from seeing the reality for what it is. It was intense and enjoyable, but it felt that way simply because it was also feeding your deep insecurities and stroking your low self-worth. When you don’t believe in yourself on a deeper level or when you’re not full on the inside, you will fall for those cheap love bombs or those brief intense moments of affection as they seem rare to your insides.
So, the love bombing may not actually be intense, but it could just be that you're feeling so empty, poor, and thirsty on the inside that any tiny bit of affection feels like a huge deal. If you long for love bombing, it's because your mind doesn’t want you to confront the emptiness inside. But true healing and transformation come from acknowledging and understanding that emptiness, rather than filling it with fantasies and wishes. By recognizing it for what it is, you can start to address the negative influences that fill this void.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.