Examples of letters to ex boyfriends

Hi all, I was gifted a custom built PC about 4 years ago and it worked great at the time with mostly refurbished parts, until about a year and a half ago my ex boyfriend downloaded a virus (and effectively destroyed) my PC. We boiled it down to a corrupted hard drive and a shorted motherboard. I replaced the motherboard and hard drive and still was facing crashes, namely during Valorant. When playing the game, it would show a muted green screen with no error messsages or text like a blue screen would.
It happened repeatedly and I figured it was the graphics card. I upgraded to a Radeon 6650 xt, nothing special, and when I played Val it would say the drivers timed out (amd crash reporter would pull up). So my next logical step was to upgrade the power supply from a 500W to a 750W. I know this all seems ridiculous, but I know so little about computers and was never told the specs of the original state of the PC. Now, I'm having the same exact issue still, except it's happening later into playing the game. The only other game this happened during was Pico Park, but everything went smooth for The Binding Of Isaac and for Apex Legends. It functions for Internet related work, just struggling in the gaming aspect. To confirm, it still sometimes does the green screen as well as the regular driver crash. Drivers are up to date. Is all hope lost?
Here's my current specs:
GPU: Radeon 6650 xt CPU: Ryzen 5 2600 PSU: Corsair 750W
If I left anything out let me know. Thanks for any and all help in advanced :)

My friend and groom (27M) is getting married next month. There’s 6 people in the bridal party, me (28F) and my best friend (28F) included. Let’s call her Ellen for this story.
Me and Ellen had boyfriends for about a year at the same time and coincidentally broke up with our boyfriends around the same time this past February. The rest of the party has spouses, so naturally they receive a plus one. And since me and Ellen are now single, we did not receive a plus one which makes sense.
Cut to today, the groom texts Ellen offering her a plus one. Ellen had started talking to her ex for less than a week and she’s taking it slow. I’m happy if she’s happy, but this is the third time she’s trying to make it work with the same ex and I would argue not a lot has changed. I’m the opposite and have moved on from my ex.
So if Ellen decides to invites her ex on wedding day, I would be sitting at the table with only couples. I personally think this is strange.
I haven’t booked a wedding so I don’t know if you have to hit a certain number of people with a venue or something else I’m missing.
But I can’t wrap my head around this… am I’m being singled out or am I taking it personally?

I'll try not to talk much with all the crazy tiny details. But basically, I (F17) have gotten in my first relationship with my boyfriend (M17). We've known each other since middle school, but both of us were kinda the secluded type that only really hung around with our friends - so we never talked. He suddenly messaged me one day, and from there we got together. He entered my life during a pretty crazy time, I was dealing with my ex-best friend leaving me and her talking badly about me, and I was also dealing with this guy that I liked for a while who kinda led me on. I had just cut that guy off, and that intersection between losing my best friend and being on friendly terms with the old guy was right where my boyfriend found me. I just want to note that when it comes to the guy who led me on, I had already cut him off for about a month and gotten over him, he's not an issue at all.
We've been officially together for about 5 months now, but we started talking 8 months ago. Our relationship has been "perfect". We do cute things for each other, we're respectful of each other's boundaries, we communicate well whenever someone does something wrong, I'd say we're both very emotionally intelligent for our ages, or at the very least, we match each other when it comes to that. However, I've always kind of felt that underneath all of these cute couple things, all the nice words and compliments, that there isn't any true friendship underneath. I love talking about so many different types of things and going on tangents for hours, and being able to learn something new when talking to someone, but I don't really get that with him. Our conversations aren't dry, but sometimes I'll say something personal about myself or a funny story and he responds with "I understand". I feel like he holds himself back around me, I just feel like there should be something more to this.
Recently, he told me about how he wouldn't mind if I wanted a break from him if I ever found him unattractive, this was instigated by him not feeling the best about himself physically. I was kind of shocked that he said that, he clarified that he meant to say that he would support any decision I make no matter what - but I took it a little differently. Is it selfish of me to want him to fight for me a little bit? He also said that once we go to college he'll distance a little bit because it's really important for me to focus, but I never ever said anything that even notioned to my wanting to distance. I appreciate that he wants the best for me, but it just feels weird. I tell him that he's handsome, I tell him how happy he makes me and how much I've realized that there's more to life than school, and yet I get this in response. I just feel like he doesn't truly know me sometimes, and I know that's something that'll solve itself with time, but how is that supposed to happen when he seems to be so willing to let me go, to keep me at a distance?
I also am a little bit nervous because I always get so moody nowadays. I cry so easily, one tiny thing can devastate me and make me lay in bed for hours tearing up, while 3 hours later I'll get one text and be all happy and kicking my feet. I just don't know what to do, or how to talk to him about this. There's probably a lot more details I could say but I don't want this to get too long.

Well. I am in a tough spot. My wife and I were divorcing. Together 12 years. She was talking to a guy she knew before me on and off for a long time. We separated (not legally) last year and now the girl I had been talking to/getting close to for almost year (a friend in another state that I have set boundaries with but she pushes them a lot.) has made things typical because I've been there for her just as much when her BOYFRIEND treats her like shit. Every other night she seems to complain to me, but then goes back to him. She said she's bipolar and autistic but she hasn't actually gotten any tests done.
Idk if she is or not. For example. Every other night she chooses all kinds of stuff to rip me apart with. She was complaining about her boyfriend who constantly calls her terrible names and treats her like shit. (He did hit her a few times around Christmas) and then lumped me in with "all other men". She went on a rat saying that I'll end up just like him, but in ways I'm worse because I'm legally blind and "cripple" (just had arm surgery 4 weeks ago... Not crippled.. 😑) and that I'm balding. Then she'll come back 20 minutes later or so and apologize like crazy.
I just feel like I'm a lightning rod for all her bad stuff and then she'll disappear hang out with him or do whatever she does. And then I'm taking care of all the emotional stuff with her. I stay up two hours later and get up earlier ever since we met (almost) just to be available if she needed to talk because everything always seems bad with him...
I'm struggling because I am a people pleaser and everyone is telling me block her. Get away. Delete her. Focus on my (still technically) wife. But I hate feeling stuck in between.
I didn't plan on falling for this girl but it happened and idk what to do next. I'm losing sleep. My vision already causes migraines so the stress is just causing more. Idk.
It's hard to explain because I took care of my wife through a brain tumor surgery and five or six other surgeries that were really serious. And I can't get that spark back with her. The girl wants a guy like me but she berates me a LOT. Some people think I might be just going from a bad relationship where all I did was take care of the one to an even worse one. It hurts.

I was thinking about when Cristina's ex-boyfriend visits and tries to get her back so Cristina tries to make a show out being a bride to be- she tells a patient that she's soon to be Mrs Burke and she was wearing different sorts of nails on her fingers to suggest that she's thinking a lot about what colour they should be on the wedding day. Burke asks her what she's doing and she explains she's trying to scare her ex-boyfriend away by pretending to not be the same person he dated anymore. Burke says he's fine with her doing that and they have some banter:
Cristina: You're going to have to put up with me being nice and sweet for a while
Burke: That will be a nice change of pace
Cristina: Shut up!
Burke: That's more like it
​
I feel like Burke was really stuck being loving and finding Cristina's personality amusing but then he acted like he actually would like a bride to be who acted naturally the way Cristina was pretending to act to get rid of her ex.
Do you think the same?

I (f19) and my ex boyfriend (m19) dated for about 2 years. Throughout our whole relationship there was always some issues, like all relationships have, but as time went on there would be times when everything was amazing, and then there would be periods on time when it seemed like everything I did upset him and I was always doing something wrong. He always had a lot of trust issues with me, even though I never gave him any reason to not trust me, he just was never able to fully trust that I wasn’t cheating on him, wasn’t looking for another guy, wasn’t thinking about how much hotter other men were, things like that. Anytime I went to work he asked about every conversation I had with another male and what every little thing we talked about was. He basically could be the only male in my life or he thought something fishy was going on. He would always get mad at me for the smallest things especially near the end. What lead me to break up with him was that I felt like I never made him happy, every day, multiple times a day there was always something that I did that would make him upset. I just felt like I was always making the wrong decisions. He also didn’t let me fully be who I was because he wasn’t accepting of the things I like and wanted to do. It was hard being myself when he didn’t like who I was so much. I was also made guilty for everything that happened. I started hanging out with a group a friends and he made me feel guilty that I liked spending time with them, and that I liked having friends. If there were times I wasn’t in THE MOOD to do something he would get sad and turn away and make me feel guilty that I didn’t want to. Whenever I would try to voice my concerns about our relationship he would turn it on me and make me feel like the bad guy, or would get defensive and get mad at me that I felt a certain way. I was sick of feeling like a terrible person all the time for reasons I should not have, so I broke it off and he started realizing that things he was doing weren’t that good. For a bit it seemed like he could change and get better.
A little bit before I broke up with him, I met this guy from the group of friends I would hangout with, he kind of popped up out of no where and was treating me better than my own boyfriend, he liked me for who I was, he showed me what being accepted felt like, what not getting upset for silly things felt like, it was just a whole new world and it was a little relieving to have around. After we broke up I made some decisions that weren’t my best decisions. My ex boyfriend and I were saying that we could work on us again after we have been alone for a bit and he works on himself. I ended up cuddling with this guy and kissed him once. My ex would ask me if I had done anything with said friend and I was so scared that I lied and I said no. I ended up lying a lot and I regret every single one. I’m not perfect and I’m going to make mistakes and I am certainly not proud of how I handled that situation. Recently my ex went through my phone without me knowing and saw that some things were going on with my friend and he got very upset with me. Which I totally understand I lied and said nothing was happening. He hates me so much he keeps telling me how terrible of a person I am and “fuck you” and just keeps rubbing it in that I hurt him. I know I did he doesn’t need to keep putting salt in the wound. I e apologized which I know isn’t going to make it better, but I’m learning from all of this and I really am going to be alone and work on myself for a while. I’ve never felt worse about myself, I’ve gotten low points in my life but I have never been this low. It doesn’t make it easier when I keep getting told how awful I am and all the shitty things I did.
My ex is telling me that in order for him to not block me I have to cut this friend out of my life for good. It was weird feeling so accepted and loved by someone, it was weird not fighting and getting “in trouble” over small things. It was weird feeling like I actually made someone happy to be around me. I was just getting all confused when a guy came in and was being better than my own boyfriend was. I feel so stuck because with this friend it feels so much more freeing and he’s said he will always cheer me on no matter what, and that he likes me for me and he doesn’t expect me to change for anyone. He’s always going to stay by my side and always makes me feel good about myself. But then there’s my first love, I love him so much and I would love to see things work out between us but the cycle of things I was put in with him were not healthy for me. It was a very manipulative relationship and I would have to cut my friend out which might result in me losing all of my friends.

About 2 weeks ago my best friend and housemate got back with her ex boyfriend after 5 months of being broken up. I found out through bumping into the two of them crying outside my bedroom and him not leaving until the following morning. I asked my friend if everything was okay and her last words were basically "don't worry, I'm okay. I love you and I'll tell you everything tomorrow." The following day I heard nothing, just saw them walking down the street arm in arm. After a couple of days of radio silence (not including me hearing the two of them around the house since we live together) she reached out asking to speak to me to explain her situation. I told her I'll be home from work at 6pm and that she'll have an hour to speak to me because I had plans later in the evening. I got home at 6:08 and messaged her immediately to let her know I'm home. I didn't get a response until 7:30 when she messaged me apologizing saying she fell asleep after she laid down on her bed because she was nervous to speak to me and that she would never do it intentionally. I had heard that excuse before when she missed my birthday earlier this year to go to a gig. I was firm and told her I'm busy, feeling stupid after shifting my evening plans around to give her an opportunity to speak to me, just to sit in my room for over an hour waiting for her to respond.
Her return to her ex is a huge shock to me and I never saw it coming. It seemed to me that she understood how toxic the relationship was, it ending with her cheating on him. I initially met her when they were dating the first time around, and quickly learnt that he wasn't a good person or a good partner (misogynistic and controlling). I did my absolute best to support her, and she never failed to tell me that she trusts me and loves me like a sister. I think because I'm a few years older than her and we got close really quickly, I felt protective of her. In hindsight I probably should've set more boundaries.
There have been multiple times over the past 6 months where her life choices and behaviours have worried me, predominantly pertaining to drug use, eating disorders, and selfish behaviours. I recall at least two instances where I've tried to set boundaries and explain to her that I may have to take a step back from the friendship because her behaviours are triggering to me, and whilst she is an adult and will make her own decisions, I need to protect my sanity and not be so involved and available in her life if she doesn't think her behaviours are an issue. All of these instances were followed by her promising she loves me and appreciates me so much and that she's going to change. After the birthday incident she left a bag of gifts outside my bedroom door with a handwritten letter telling me how much she loves me. I cried and forgave her.
Because of all of this, I'm hurting so much more. I don't understand how she can tell me she loves me one day and then the next act like I don't exist and never mattered to her. She's taken me off her "close friends" list on Instagram, and any communication we've had since has been limited to brief texts about bills and household chores. She won't even look at me when I pass her in the kitchen. She's become even more disrespectful about keeping the house clean, promising she'll tidy up in the groupchat but then not doing it and ignoring my messages. I feel like she's being deliberately spiteful; yesterday I woke up to dog poop smeared outside my bedroom where she must've wiped her shoe on the carpet and left it overnight for whatever reason.
I've been in touch with one of her other friends whom she's close with, and he said she's been avoiding any conversation about her boyfriend with him also. I understand that she might be embarrassed to open up to me about it because she knows how poorly I think of the guy, but I don't understand her acting like she's angry with me or like I've done something wrong. Doesn't she understand how much this is hurting me? We've already signed our contracts to live here for another year and the tension in the house is killing me.

About 2 weeks ago my best friend and housemate got back with her ex boyfriend after 5 months of being broken up. I found out through bumping into the two of them crying outside my bedroom and him not leaving until the following morning. I asked my friend if everything was okay and her last words were basically "don't worry, I'm okay. I love you and I'll tell you everything tomorrow." The following day I heard nothing, just saw them walking down the street arm in arm. After a couple of days of radio silence (not including me hearing the two of them around the house since we live together) she reached out asking to speak to me to explain her situation. I told her I'll be home from work at 6pm and that she'll have an hour to speak to me because I had plans later in the evening. I got home at 6:08 and messaged her immediately to let her know I'm home. I didn't get a response until 7:30 when she messaged me apologizing saying she fell asleep after she laid down on her bed because she was nervous to speak to me and that she would never do it intentionally. I had heard that excuse before when she missed my birthday earlier this year to go to a gig. I was firm and told her I'm busy, feeling stupid after shifting my evening plans around to give her an opportunity to speak to me, just to sit in my room for over an hour waiting for her to respond.
Her return to her ex is a huge shock to me and I never saw it coming. It seemed to me that she understood how toxic the relationship was, it ending with her cheating on him. I initially met her when they were dating the first time around, and quickly learnt that he wasn't a good person or a good partner (misogynistic and controlling). I did my absolute best to support her, and she never failed to tell me that she trusts me and loves me like a sister. I think because I'm a few years older than her and we got close really quickly, I felt protective of her. In hindsight I probably should've set more boundaries.
There have been multiple times over the past 6 months where her life choices and behaviours have worried me, predominantly pertaining to drug use, eating disorders, and selfish behaviours. I recall at least two instances where I've tried to set boundaries and explain to her that I may have to take a step back from the friendship because her behaviours are triggering to me, and whilst she is an adult and will make her own decisions, I need to protect my sanity and not be so involved and available in her life if she doesn't think her behaviours are an issue. All of these instances were followed by her promising she loves me and appreciates me so much and that she's going to change. After the birthday incident she left a bag of gifts outside my bedroom door with a handwritten letter telling me how much she loves me. I cried and forgave her.
Because of all of this, I'm hurting so much more. I don't understand how she can tell me she loves me one day and then the next act like I don't exist and never mattered to her. She's taken me off her "close friends" list on Instagram, and any communication we've had since has been limited to brief texts about bills and household chores. She won't even look at me when I pass her in the kitchen. She's become even more disrespectful about keeping the house clean, promising she'll tidy up in the groupchat but then not doing it and ignoring my messages. I feel like she's being deliberately spiteful; yesterday I woke up to dog poop smeared outside my bedroom where she must've wiped her shoe on the carpet and left it overnight for whatever reason.
I've been in touch with one of her other friends whom she's close with, and he said she's been avoiding any conversation about her boyfriend with him also. I understand that she might be embarrassed to open up to me about it because she knows how poorly I think of the guy, but I don't understand her acting like she's angry with me or like I've done something wrong. Doesn't she understand how much this is hurting me? We've already signed our contracts to live here for another year and the tension in the house is killing me.

tl;dr: Ex-wife cheats on me. I get my revenge in a perfectly legal way.
• • •
Ex-wife cheats on me with an insurance agent who had 'connections' with my employer. He gets me fired and pays for her divorce. I sign a "Quit Claim" document on the house, which she receives as her settlement in lieu of alimony. The divorce is finalized, and I enlist in the military.
Que the Malicious Compliance
The bank forecloses on the house due to her defaulting on the mortgage payments. I am not at fault because of the "Quit Claim". She cannot get alimony because the Soldiers' and Sailors' Civil Relief Act of 1940 prohibits this while I am on active duty. She pressures her boyfriend into marrying her. I leave the military (Honorably, I might add), and she still can not get alimony from me because she has remarried. He repeatedly cheats on her, but she won't divorce him because she is afraid of poverty. She now lives in quiet desperation with a man who does not respect her. Nobody listens to her sad sob stories, either.

This took place when I was in 8th grade. My best friend Julie and I were at her birthday party and while she was hanging out with her friends, 5 of her female friends locked me in a walk in closet in her room with my ex boyfriend. That was the day I first got r*ped. When she came back to the room she tore everyone off the door and unlocked the door and found me with him. Everyone immediately left and me and her had a long talk about what happened. She had mental issues and I tried to make sure she didn’t blame herself for what happened. The next day she got suspended from school for fighting the girls who locked me in the room. I was currently grounded from my phone and it was a Friday night, so that was the last time I saw her. The next day I got my phone back and I saw that she had called me 4 times and left me 3 voicemails and sent me a video the night before. I listened to the voicemails, she was screaming and crying telling me she couldn’t take it anymore and she needed me to answer the damn phone. By then I was feeling overwhelmed with fear. Next I opened the video to something so mortifying. She was recording herself and she said for me to break up with her boyfriend for her, she swallowed 100 benedryl and slit her wrists vertically and blood was all over the camera and the video ended after she grabbed it and sent it. I called her little sister immediately and she didn’t pick up. I had to wait until Monday when I saw her little sister and she told me she died that night. I told her boyfriend that she was sent to a boarding school, because I really didn’t want to hurt him.

TLDR: I’m trans and part of the reason I realized that was was because I didn’t like the way girls would cope with their daddy issues by dating me and treating me like a man
Something that has always bothered me especially in regards to my daddy issues, gender identity and transition is that all my ex girlfriends and girls in general that were interested in me treated me like a man. And more specifically they were clearly more attracted to me as a male figure than as a person. Let me explain. Something of note here is that I live in a small hick southern town. So part of the reason I think this happened was because the dating pool of people who aren’t raging racist republicans is small.(I’m very visibly of the brown complexion)I came out as bisexual when I was 11. And was always both subtly effeminate and feminine. When high school started I sometimes wore skirts and put on make up sometimes. I did get a lot of shit for it. I realized I might not be a boy. And soon after I started dating. But I noticed a pattern with my partners.
Even before I would date these girls I would always remind them that I’m Bisexual. And that I was also questioning my gender and didn’t like being gender typical boy(turns out I didn’t like being a boy at all). Despite this the girls I dated would always treat me like a man. Always wanting me to hold them, comfort and reassure them. Telling me things like “You’re such a good boyfriend” “You’re the kindest boy ever” and even with my skirt and make up they would still use “handsome” instead of “pretty” to compliment me. Even when I told them I didn’t like the word handsome to describe me. What didn’t help was most of them straight up admitting and making jokes about having daddy issues.
The breaking point in all of these relationships is that they eventually wanted me to be sexually dominant and were very submissive to me. I kept trying to get them to understand how strong each of them was. How they didn’t and shouldn’t rely solely on me to lift them up emotionally. But none of them understood. Anytime they tried doing something submissive whether both physically or emotionally it was always upsetting. They wanted to be submissive to me and I wanted an equal. They were looking for a strong male figure to guide them emotionally and dominate them physically but I wasn’t that. My dad was never around. He abandoned me and my family. I never had a male role model. And each time I dated one of these girls they were looking at me as a male role model and it made me uncomfortable. Because I feel as if I was the last person in our town to ask that of.
Because while I know not having a dad has affected me. I’ve mostly moved on. My daddy issues make it so that I find it hard to accept and truly respect any male authority figures. It doesn’t make me interested in older men. But it was always so uncomfortable for these girls to date me and look for a strong male figure when I myself also needed that. I would have loved having a dad growing up and even now as an adult at 19 I wouldn’t mind a father.
But I have to be realistic and I have been. I haven’t looked for a male figure. I was 15 when I started accepting that that was never going to happen.
I know this vent might be better suited for a trans sub but the daddy issue aspects are something I’ve been wanting to address. Because now I’m about to start HRT, and I have no idea when I’ll start dating again. I go into college this fall so I hope I can meet someone there? Hopefully with HRT I’ll start to pass and people will stop treating me like a man if I were to get into a relationship with them.

I had an argument with my husband, and in my anger, I called the police. The next day, CPS showed up and interviewed me and my children. I have a 5-month-old and a 5-year-old from a previous relationship. I tried to inform my son's father, but he immediately started making judgments. On Monday my 5 year olds father, filed for an ex parte and began lying about my husband hitting my 5-year-old son and claiming that my son is traumatized and unable to sleep (he said this at mediation). In court, I was essentially forced to file a restraining order against my husband; otherwise, his father would get custody (we have 50/50 custody). I don't think it's fair for my husband to be away from his son and I felt pressured. The allegations that my son is traumatized are not true; my ex's family is on my side, as they know it's all lies. I have been in contact with CPS, and she said she sees no threat for my children being at home, but we are still waiting on the report. The hearing is in 4 days, and I don't know what to do. Should I cancel it and get some type of document saying my husband won't be near my 5-year-old until the CPS report is ready? Is that even possible? Or should I just go to the hearing and explain to the judge that I was pressured? I have already written a letter to the judge for the hearing. I know many people are going to say this is what I get for calling the police. I acknowledge that I made a mistake and I'm paying for it.

Hey there, I feel I need to exteriorize my feelings. I've been with this super guy for 5 years, I had just ended a relationship with my ex (35M), who I'm still super friend with (important for later), and I barely had time to be with myself and I just met my actual boyfriend. The thing is, from the start I never actually wanted to be in a super long term relationship. I was feeling down, he was too and we just ended up together because we kinda got used to seeing each other, and then covid hit and instead of him being stuck in his tiny student appartment, I told him he could move in with me. Things were going super easily, so we just kept at it after covid.
Problem is I know he loves me with all his heart, but I'm not really feeling the same. What I feel for him is a deep incredible tenderness. I would despise myself for making him feel bad, I'd love to be here for him as long as I can. But I feel it's more and more because I want him to be my friend, like my ex I talked about, with whom we have an impeccable relationship (him and his actual boyfriend are super close friends, and no weird things about it)
First time I tried to end it up was right at the beginning. And he just sat there, face down, and told me "Well, you're gonna do it so do it..." with the saddest face I've ever seen, it kinda traumatized me. I just got cold feet and told him I'm gonna reassess...
The years passed, and I knew he wasn't really for me. He's got some great qualities that I'll detail, we're really close, but the way he "is" is not something that attracts me generally... So I tried to end it a few months ago. I was kinda cold and distant, trying to get my speech and everything I wanted to tell him in order, and he catched on and asked me, crying "what is it ? Are you leaving me ?" And he cried and screamed and cried some more, telling me I am supposed to be the man of his life, telling me about our future life together, and most of all, telling me he's leaving far away. Most of our friends are mine to begin with and he doesn't want a reminder, but our friends love him still. Yet he still wanted to leave and end up all alone because of me. So I just ended up being weak and said well okay, I'll reassess
Problem is, he's unconsciously using "pity" or "sadness" as a weapon. I don't mean he's manipulative or anything like that, far from it. But he's instictinvely driving me to the idea that I will be stuck with him because I don't want to hurt him. I also wanna stay with him for a bunch of reasons I'll list below. Also sometimes I feel I'm gonna leave him and the moment he'll get out I'll be just a miserable son of a bitch, because I had a tendency to destroy everything that's good for me when I was in depression 10 years ago.
On the pros :
He's super nice and attentionate to me. He always think about me, tries to have moments together. He's really in love with me and wants to do his entire life by my side. I feel this is not something you find everywhere you go. And I must admit he really thinks highly of me.
Also we have a lot in common, we're pretty much inside animals, we like to geek, we enjoy fantasy and scifi, we laugh at the same things and enjoy most the same shows. I'm an "artist", I kinda write and draw my own little scifi world and he writes his own little fantasy world the same, and we exchange notes, that's also a thing I fear I might not be able to have with someone else who would be more "down to earth".
Also I must love him, because the simple idea of imagining him suffer because of me is making me almost nauseus, this is not something I can do to him...
There might be a "me", a bad "me" who's gonna be in shock about a breaking up with him and who's gonna get back into booze like I used to, and it really wasn't something great for me... He's kinda giving me lifelines, at least a presence that makes me obligated to be a functional person, and not a chaotic alcoholic.
Cons :
I'm not super attracted to him. I'm not disgusted at all mind you, I just... kinda force myself to have sex to make him happy (the first thing I think after sex is "that'll make him happy" or "that'll buy me some days"), otherwise, kisses and hugs absolutely. On the other hand, we kinda have the exact same particular taste when it comes to sex it's mind boggling. I might end up with someone who's basically vanilla and I'll get bored to death.
I feel I do a lot to work on myself, and I feel he doesn't. I try to do my workouts regularly, I actually lost 20 pounds in two months lately, getting buffed and all. I don't really care about him being a muscular guy, I just wish he'd... do some efforts. He's got incredible hair, but a good sized beard he just lets grow despite me begging him to tame it. He's got a little belly which I don't generally mind, but he doesn't try to accessorize it super well, he just kinda let his pants down and let his belly proud and open whereas I'm super self-aware about that kind of things.
He's got some mood swings, sometimes he just stop talking because something is bothering him which drives me crazy. It might be me who offended him, or his job, or he's feeling a little down, but he never communicates it, he just stays silent in his corner and I end up feeling guilty for actually getting shit down or enjoying myself.
Finally and this might be the most superficial but it's still something... He's not super assertive, or what people in another age would have called "manly". It's not that he's feminine, that wouldn't bother me at all. It's more that he's... "weak". Physically he can't carry anything heavy, climbing on a ladder and he's making noises because it's too high, he's scared about everything, he doesn't generally take the lead and he's super shy. I feel like I gotta fill these roles.
That's mostly it, sometimes I fantasize about having a guy who's assertive and gets shits done and who's direct. But I'm in no way sure I would meet someone like him who's checks all the things above as well as he does. And I'm ending up telling myself I could never leave him, and I'd have to spend the rest of my life with him when really... I don't feel like it.
And we're getting to the heart of my question... How do I leave someone who's so sweet ? All our common friends are mine to begin with, and from the second time I tried to break up with him he wanted to leave 1 hour away. So if I leave him, he'll just leave and end up all alone, that makes me just sick... Seeing him happy and full of joy with our friends is just great, and I wish he could just accept its over, stay in the region, and still see our friends (without me present) so I could at least not feel guilty about him being all alone. I would feel like the worst human being on the planet for doing something like that to him.

I (25F) feel like my boyfriend (25m) is physically and emotionally distancing away from me and I don’t know what to do. How do I tell him?
Hey all, as the title suggests I feel as though my bf is slowly but surely slipping away from me and I am at a loss of what to do. For some background my boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years and those 4 years have been a dream. Our relationship has had some ups and downs, like many relationships, but we’ve always had a clear line of communication. Recently we’ve gotten into a car accident and have been dealing with legal and medical issues (we weren’t at fault) and ever since I’ve noticed that his attitude has begun to take a nosedive. He’s been snippy, less affectionate (he doesn’t tell me he loves me as much as he used to, he completely stopped holding my hand while driving these past two weeks and I’m the one who mostly initiates the kissing now) and overall just plain rude. I’ve tried asking what’s wrong but he either changes the subject or denies anything being wrong and ignores me. This week has been something else and that’s why I’m here. I ask that you bear with me while I write this next part because it might be all over the place since my brain is jumbled. My boyfriend likes to see me get riled up but he normally knows when to stop to keep it from going to far. An example would be starting a silly tiff and then dropping it when I get a little annoyed and we laugh about it. Recently however he’s been taking it too far, he’ll keep pushing and pushing till I want to cuss him out and I have to leave because I’m so frustrated. I’ve even been crying more this week than I have in a while and it’s all because of the frustration I feel. Not to mention when I do bring it up to him he just dismisses my feelings as me being too sensitive and I need to “stop being in my feelings”. I feel like I’m going crazy. I love him so much and I just need advice, any advice on what I can say or what I should do to shorten that gap and understand what’s going on. I know the legal stuff with the accident may be taking a toll on him but is there a way I can ask him if his annoyance with the accident is why he is behaving like this with me? Any advice that you can give will help a lot and if there are any questions feel free to ask and I’ll answer to the best of my abilities, thank you.

Hi everyone. I experience intense anxiety and stress around college. I've recently begun therapy, and my therapist emphasized that it's okay to take some time off to reassess things. However, I find myself feeling incredibly bored. My only activities are going to the movies and spending time with my boyfriend. Even casual hangouts with college friends feel exhausting because college-related topics inevitably come up. I have a tendency of locking in when things get overstimulating or hard.
What I'm truly afraid of is the possibility of running into my ex or former friends on campus. It's the idea of encountering people I fear, even though I know it's irrational. I've been trying to cope by planning to return to school, watching guided tours of the campus, and so forth. But it's overwhelming, and I'm experiencing physical symptoms like nausea, stress-induced neck pain, panic attacks, and sudden drops in blood pressure. Strangely, these symptoms only occur when I'm on campus. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this?
I recognize that this is a very specific issue, and I'm still able to manage other activities like work and grocery shopping. It's just college that feels overwhelming right now. I'm on medication, but I feel like it's no longer effective (though I continue to take it).
I don't meet the criteria for agoraphobia, but I do think it's a symptom of PTSD as a larger issue. Could that be possible? Has anyone been through this and overcome it?
I also tend to avoid people who have been aggressors or who have harmed or humiliated me in the past, which often leads me to stay away from certain situations due to feelings of shame. I've endured numerous traumatic experiences, including being involuntarily confined to a mental health institution, experiencing sexual abuse, and facing many adverse experiences during childhood. Additionally, I've been a victim of domestic abuse, among other things. I believe I carry a significant weight of trauma, and I may be afraid that these individuals will hurt me again, even if they do not directly interact with me or say anything. I know this is irrational and I struggle with it because I feel like it doesn't make any sense, like I'll never get over it and live a normal life. Especially when I'm trying to accomplish certain academic goals.
PD. This guy I used to talk to and flirt with has recently become a professor at uni, so I'm terrified of running into him. I feel like it's very humiliating but there's really no reason for it. He didn't do anything bad to me.

basically me and my ex boyfriend were together sophomore year of high school for like a month than i broke up with him and didn’t talk to him again until senior year through a mutual friend so we became friends and started dating for almost 2 years. he broke up with me on mother’s day, i didn’t talk to him in person until today but for those few days i felt like he just fell out of love with them and found him someone else and i knew he was being distant for a while before we broke up but when we actually had a conversation in person he was crying so bad like genuinely looked heartbroken & he explained to me that he didn’t feel that we were happy anymore because we would argue than make up than argue about the same thing over and over again. he said he still loves me and cares for me but he didn’t feel like he was making me happy anymore & he just need his space for now & truly wants me to be happy. i don’t know how to feel like should i wait for him or just let time tell? i have a feeling we are gonna get back together months down the line and i really feel like we need this space from each other for now but i don’t think our connection is over.

Hi all! I'm posting because I'm interested in getting to know people! I've been on dating apps for over a year and I just haven't had any luck finding someone that fits the nerdy personality that i have 😕 no one on dating apps seems to want commitment or a relationship so here i am posting here😅I'm from Georgia, I'm 22 years old, I'm 5ft 4in tall! I'm a black girl that mainly dates white men and asian guys! I'm definitely a big ole bubbly nerd that likes to stay in some days, and go out other days! I don't like partying or clubs, I do not smoke either! And would prefer that you do not smoke too! Please do not be a smoker bc I will not date a smoker! I'm looking for a man between the ages of 23-29 from Georgia that's interested in getting to know me! I'm also willing to date someone from out of state and do long-distance as long as you're ok with LDR as i desperately want to leave GA one day!! I would also like a man thats a bit taller than me and not at my height if possible😊 I would like someone to be at least 5ft10in and taller☺️! I'm also more into skinny/lanky men😊 If you have a motorcycle i will not date you due to a previous relationship years ago that involved a motorcycle accident and i almost lost my ex boyfriend at the time. Speaking of vehicles, i currently do not have a car as it broke down 2 weeks ago as im writing this, but i have a scooter that gets me to and from work. If you do not want to deal with a person without a vehicle until I get it fixed in the next few weeks you may skip past me! I understand if not having a vehicle is a turn off! If we are in long distance i will rent a vehicle if we plan to meet! I love reading! Mainly Harry Potter books and self care mental health books! I visit bookstores all the time! I also do not plan on ever having kids, so I'm trying to find a man that also does not want kids😊I love playing video games, my favorite genre is rpgs and jrpgs! But I do play other genre of games too! I like to paint in my free time, I love asian food, especially Korean and Japanese food! I love camping and hiking! Last summer I went to Tallulah Gorge and Brasstown Bald with a couple of friends on a 3 day camping trip! I am also a big lover of coffee and teas! I am also in school majoring in Dental Assiting! I am a huge fan of kdramas and kpop! And I love going to the arcade! If any of this sounds interesting to you just send me a chat telling me about yourself, and whether you're from the same state as me!😊

Hi all! I'm posting because I'm interested in getting to know people! I've been on dating apps for over a year and I just haven't had any luck finding someone that fits the nerdy personality that i have 😕 no one on dating apps seems to want commitment or a relationship so here i am posting here😅I'm from Georgia, I'm 22 years old, I'm 5ft 4in tall! I'm a black girl that mainly dates white men and asian guys! I'm definitely a big ole bubbly nerd that likes to stay in some days, and go out other days! I don't like partying or clubs, I do not smoke either! And would prefer that you do not smoke too! Please do not be a smoker bc I will not date a smoker! I'm looking for a man between the ages of 23-29 from Georgia that's interested in getting to know me! I'm also willing to date someone from out of state and do long-distance as long as you're ok with LDR as i desperately want to leave GA one day!! I would also like a man thats a bit taller than me and not at my height if possible😊 I would like someone to be at least 5ft10in and taller☺️! I'm also more into skinny/lanky men😊 If you have a motorcycle i will not date you due to a previous relationship years ago that involved a motorcycle accident and i almost lost my ex boyfriend at the time. Speaking of vehicles, i currently do not have a car as it broke down 2 weeks ago as im writing this, but i have a scooter that gets me to and from work. If you do not want to deal with a person without a vehicle until I get it fixed in the next few weeks you may skip past me! I understand if not having a vehicle is a turn off! If we are in long distance i will rent a vehicle if we plan to meet! I love reading! Mainly Harry Potter books and self care mental health books! I visit bookstores all the time! I also do not plan on ever having kids, so I'm trying to find a man that also does not want kids😊I love playing video games, my favorite genre is rpgs and jrpgs! But I do play other genre of games too! I like to paint in my free time, I love asian food, especially Korean and Japanese food! I love camping and hiking! Last summer I went to Tallulah Gorge and Brasstown Bald with a couple of friends on a 3 day camping trip! I am also a big lover of coffee and teas! I am also in school majoring in Dental Assiting! I am a huge fan of kdramas and kpop! And I love going to the arcade! If any of this sounds interesting to you just send me a chat telling me about yourself, and whether you're from the same state as me!😊

If you introduced a girl to your parents, then sent a warning message to the ex-boyfriend to cut communication with your wife to be and he responds with a video of the girl naked twerking in his bedroom?
How would that make you feel?
For context: the girl is 21 and a few weeks pregnant for the guy and is wondering whether to keep it or abort.

Non native 3 in the morning- typical ‘Im a wake and my brain goes crazy’- thought
A while ago, I read a post, that people having difficulty talking out loud about their feelings/needs but are good in typing go just non verbal (autistic). I looked into it - didn’t hit the boxes for me.
So I just woke up an hour ago (pregnancy night pee) and had a thought stuck in my head. Please feedback/give your thoughts on it.
Tasks which are not learned ’at the right time’ become much harder to master later. And something ‘natural’ needs to be learned with way more effort. And probably never mastered as good, compared to ‘learned at the right time’.
My initial example was talking, writing with your hand and typing about feelings/needs. But it applies to every example I can think about right now. That’s why my brain can’t stop thinking about it… thanks brain. I want to sleep.
Sooo
Talking out loud- basics should be done by age 5 or 6. Including the right/empathic feedback from the receiver.
Writing with your hand -should be doable at 6/7 and by the age of 10 you should be set. I see journals as a perfect example here. Which need to be introduced and explained.
Typing (in my old age, computer keyboard - Im 37) - but phone works now as well. Depending on the situation - I mastered typing by the age of 15-18 (hard to remember…). General basics were thought at school amd I masteredit while playing World of Warcraft 😂
Now my theory: I was never thought how to explain my feelings, speaking out loud. Even feelings were never explained. Huge issues today.
Writing (journal) was never explained as well. I can do it now (writing a letter) but the idea of journaling is a complete not understood concept for me. Why writing if there is zero feedback and no receiver?
Typing - oh Im good at this - I had some guidance on the technical details and mastered them. Then I had a lot of online friends and we typed a lot. The mixture of ‘being away’ and I don’t habe to see the reaction (text messages or back in the day, aol, etc) and games with chat function. Or like here - where I have ‘an audience’ but I don’t have to see /experience the reaction. I couldn’t do a digital journal, but typing it out here: easy.
And it applies to so much. Reading Riding a bike Swimming Having an organized home (> putting stuff away) ….
You can learn it later on. Even if you invest a lot of time, the person who learned it ‘at the right time’ has just a massive advantage. You still can become good, but it takes a lot of practice and time.
Happy to read your thoughts on it - I hope my brain is now happy. The thought is typed out - Im going to bed

hello all!! my name is cassidy and i’m 20 years old. my story started as most of yours did, and im open to any opinions/words of any kind :))
my symptoms currently are frequency and pressure on my bladder // over-awareness in my downstairs area
honestly i got my first uti when i was 17 years old (2022). it was when i lost my virginity and i didnt pee after sex. i got the antibiotics and never thought about it again. then i kept getting them every 3-4 months. i genuinely thought it was my boyfriend (now ex) at the time so i was put on a long term low dose of macrobid to take after sex. all was well with that. fast forward to february 2024, i had severe uti symptoms so i went online to a teledoc service and had them prescribe me antibiotics (without a urine culture I KNOWWWWW I KNOW it was a stupid decision). they gave me cipro which i thought was odd but i took it anyways. i didn’t feel better after the course so i went and got retested. the culture came back negative but they gave me a full course of macrobid because i still had symptoms. those didnt work either
in april, i finally got in with urology. she told me my urine looked “perfect” despite my symptoms, threw an “IC Diet” package at me, and said i was being dramatic, so of course i cried. and she told me my expectations were too high and she couldn’t fix me. and she denied me a cystoscopy when i questioned her for it.. OH and about 4 days later guess what? i get a call from that same doctor saying my culture had bacteria and i had a uti.. go figure. took antibiotics and no change.
a few weeks later i find out what ureaplasma is. i get tested for it, comes back positive. i took the meds for that and actually felt a little better but not 100% (this was about a month ago). i have okay ish days then i have really bad days.. better than it was in the beginning but i want to be 100% like i was before this all happened 😕 i have an appointment in august with a urogynecologist which i hope will go better
just wondering if anyone else has felt similar. i just feel so bad that i have to wait so long to be seen because what if waiting permanently damages something.. 😭😭😭😭