Yellow blow nose mucus

so my septum piercing is about nine years old. it healed quite fast and has never been painful since then.
however, I got covid for the first time a little over a month ago and my septum has been quite sore since then. I had a lot of sinus issues and nose-blowing during the fact, so I'm sure that exacerbated it. I can't see any swelling or anything, but it's hard to tell since it's up in my nose lol.
has this happened to anyone else? should I be worried? i've made sure my jewelry and my nose are both clean but it still hurts. any particular methods of caring for it you would recommend?
also, in case it's worth mentioning, my jewelry is a stainless steel circular barbel and I have not changed it for a few months (during which time I used a retainer due to a classroom job. before that period I was wearing the same barbel for several years and experienced no problems)
thx!

Hello everyone, thanks to anyone who gives this a read and can give me some advice! It’s quite late in the evening where I am, so there is no way to contact a doctor or go to a clinic until tomorrow morning. TMI incoming: My discharge is normally white and has a liquid-like consistency. Today, when I went to the bathroom I noticed that there was some discharge that was slightly yellow in colour and very clumpy/sticky. Not quite a cottage cheese texture, it stayed together and was in a small oblong ball shape. Kinda like sticky silly putty, that’s the best way I can describe it. It is also virtually odourless. Literally picked it up from my underwear with some toilet paper and brought it up to my nose; there was no smell at all.
Google is giving me some quite contradictory information. Lots of things saying I may have a yeast infection but then others saying that discharge associated with yeast infections have strong odours. Still others saying that yellowish discharge can be normal. I also have no other symptoms; no itching or burning or anything else. I would just love some peace of mind until I can see a doctor tomorrow. Does anybody know what this type of discharge can indicate?

First and foremost, it was sighted about 30 years ago by a friend of mine in Upper Darkwood via Bellingen NSW Australia. He’s never known what it was and he’s 84 now, but he’s always talked about it.
Straight to the point. He saw it at night digging through his garbage. He said it had jet black, curly fur that had mange down its back into its scruffy tail. It was about hip-height and had a very bear-like head (he’s never heard of a thylacoleo so he’s not just referencing depictions) it had a yellow eye-shine under torchlight and didn’t really show signs of aggression, more of fear.
They looked at each other, and it turned and loped over the back fence (into a dense rainforest) and was never seen again. What I find really strange is the smell. My friend said it let off the most putrid, vile smell imaginable. It burnt the inside of his nose and blinded him (after the sighting, his vision wasn’t impaired when he saw it). A while Later on he saw massive paw prints that were about 7 or so inches wide it had left on the ground.
He specifically described how its face was broad, flat, and bear like. It didn’t have a snout like a dog. It also had very small ears.
I’ve never been one to care much about sightings, I’ve never believed in them. But he so vividly seemed I describe an animal he’d never heard of. And all I can say is that he doesn’t lie, never.

Isa akong batang laking mahirap. All the kinds of bullying naranasan kona and kahit I am on my adult stage na bakat na bakat padin sa ala ala ko kung ano ang mga napagdaanan ko during my years of schooling.
During my elementary days way back mga 2004-2010, baon ko 2 pesos a day pero hindi pa araw araw may baon. Minsan nag aabot sila mama at papa ng 5 pesos ng monday and that's it for the whole week. I am too innocent in those time kasi Im proud to say na never ako nag cocomplain to my parents regarding that,siguro dahil alam kong wala din naman magbabago if I ask them kasi I know na walang wala din naman talaga sila. Minsan yung mga kaklasmayt ko pa noon tinatawanan ako pag tinutulog ko lang ng recess time namin kahit yung tiyan ko tumutunog sa gutom, while them enjoying their meals and have money on their hands to show off. They don't wanna be friend with me either kasi di ako nakakasabay sa kung anong meron sila kaya ako yung typical na batang PAPASOK sa skul ,UUPO,TAHIMIK at magsasalita lang pag kinakausap. Ang tanging alam ko lang non is disiplinado ako ng mga magulang ko kaya naman never ako nanlimos ng kahit ano or nainvolve sa gulo or na guidance sa skul, if my conflict man non sakin at sa klasmayt ko, umiiwas nalang ako at mananahimik kasi takot akong magkamali eventhough sinasabihan na nila ako "DUWAG" "LAMPA" etc.... One time may pinapa project si teacher sakin that requires money to buy it. Sinabi ko din naman kila mama pero they can't provide so pagpasok ko ng umaga sa skul, sobrang kabado ako kasi lahat sila may maipapasang project and ako lang wala. Then when my name called by our teacher sinabi ko yung totoo but the teacher just say "Baka gusto ako pa magprovide para sayo" sabay tawa. Until then naging hobby na nya akong pagtawanan infront of his co teachers at sa mga students at ako lagi inuutusan taga bunot ng puting buhok nya.🤣 well nakakatawa nalang sya sakin now pag naaalala ko
Fast forward... 2011 Highschool days... I enter highschool like elem na walang wala din. All my things are old, from bag to notebooks, yung lapis ko parang nasa 3 inches nalang ang haba kasi di ko napapalitan. Even my slippers have butas na which is naging reason ng bullying din. Yung ibang klasmayts ko laging kinukwestyon bakit daw ganun di ako mabilhan ng mga magulang ko pero di ko sila sinasagot. Just like elem days, ako yung tipo ng stujanteng tahimik lang sa upuan, kaya ang tingin ng guro namin sakin "MABAIT" pero may mga guro padin na hindi talaga ako nagugustuhan dahil sa bagay na wala ako na meron madalas mga klasmayts ko. Malayo ang skul namin sa mga bahay namin kaya nagbabaon kami ng pang lunch namin. Madalas baon ko araw araw is itlog,pancit canton na isang piraso tapos ginagawa kong pang recess at lunch na yun. Even that thing I was questioned lagi by my klasmayts but I don't answer them. I was so lonely nun kasi wala naman gustong makipagkaibigan sakin, even if may groupings, I was left alone and doing my activity alone. If you guys are wondering how's my marks in school? I was a regular student and never ako na fail sa subject ko kasi yun din habilin ng magulang ko sakin. I was so obedient to my parents even those times na pinag aabsent nila ako para magtrabaho sa bukid at para may baon ako sa school.Then the next day, I will be punished in school for being absent without telling them my reasons. I know how hard my life is kaya nangangako ako sa sarili ko na I have to finish my studies kahit anong mangyari. There are some teachers who love humiliating me in front of many students for the things I have, such meron daw ako shoes na old pero walang socks, butas ang pantalon, and ngilaw na ngilaw ang puting uniporme signs of it being old enough. One thing I am struggling about is yung yellow pad paper, yun kasi gamit namin ng highschool and most of them have it tapos ako pag humihingi ako ayaw din naman ako bigyan, kaya ang ending I'm using notebooks as alternative for it. My teacher would question it again pero same thing, my silence is my response. In those years, teachers are allowed to beat students as sign of disiplina and I was beaten as a punishments for not providing projects and unattended classes dahil sa need ko kumita ng pera para may pambaon. Pag binabalikan ko siya, awang awa ako sa sarili ko. And those people who treated me that bad, I still remember them but I forgave them. Masakit lang pag naaalala ko😭 I just can't imagine na nalagpasan ko siya na ako lang magisa at walang nasandalan even my parents. All those bullying I have received from my society, inako ko lang magisa yun at none from my siblings and parents knows about it.
Fast forward...2015- 2019 College... This one is the most legit na sobrang hirap. Pero bago pa mag umpisa ang semester nun I confront my self na kahit anong mangyari " I have to be a regular students,walang bibitiw at wag na wag babagsak sa kahit anong subjects
1st -2nd year college ko, I tried everything I can, to provide for my own tuition fees and allowances. Yes nagbibigay sila mama at papa pero hindi kasya, minsan 150- 200 lang kaya nila iabot for a week allowance, ang bording house ko laging delayed ang bayad, and my tuition is always on hold kaya laging suki ako ng special exam. Pinasok ko mag work as taga dilig ng halaman and care taker ng isang bar and grill for the night and study in the morning. I have no choice but to do it cause ayokong mag stop sa pagaaral. Kaya naman pag sumasahod ako sa part time ko, binibili ko ng mga sapatos sa shoppee and then I resell it on facebook market online around the city. After my class ng afternoon dun ko sila minimeet up sa city and there I earned money. Tho, of all the efforts and hardships na ginagawa ko still my studies is my top priority. I was so payat sa sobrang pagod, puyat at stress.lagi pa akong nag nose bleeding and I was so worried for my health pero tuloy ang laban. Again, none from my siblings and parents knows about it. I kept it all alone and di din naman sila nag tatanong kasi they thought I am doing fine dahil wala din naman silang narerecieved na reklamo sakin. BULLYING? ofcourse di padin ako nakaligtas jan, I was called "EWW ANG ITIM, MUKHANG MATANDA kasi di nakakapag ahit ng balbas at nakapagpagupit" minsan sasabihin pa nila "Huy kumain ka naman para ka nang kalansay" without knowing my whole story. One time I cried inside the confort room kasi I couldn't help myself na mainggit sa mga classmates ko nun na after class they will be having a talk about san sila mag lulunch if sa Jollibee ba, mcdo or sangyup. Samantalang ako, after class I was so busy meeting people with their orders. Minsan nadadaanan ko pa sila sa fast food having a good time while ako may bitbit na malaking basket puno ng sapatos na idedeliver.🙂 If my mandatory na event sa skul na need attendan, I used to ask people I don't know if may pwede ba akong mahihiraman ng susuotin tapos sasabihin nila try nila hanapan ako pero they then laugh at me afterwards. I feel so ashamed of doing it but I have to. So ayun na nga iniignore ko lang yung mga moment na tinatawanan ako sa looks ko, sa mga bagay na wala ako na meron sila. Basta focused ako sa acads ko nun at sa pagkita ng pera.
During my 3rd yr college. Yung part time kong work nagsara so I was forced to stop working with them na. And so yung pagbebenta ko ng sapatos nalang ginagawa ko. I was so lost that time kasi diko alam ako gagawin ko. Malaking tulong yun sakin lalo na 2yrs nalang kailangan kong tapusin sa pagaaral at mas malaki ang expenses ko na.Isang araw papasok ako ng gate sa skul and there are posters around our campus about scholarships and yung minimum qualified average. I have know idea if abot ba ng average ko dun sa offer ng scholars. so I run towards our registrar to request for a certificate of my grades. My world just stop for a while and I'm in tears kasi naabot nga. 86.04 yung average ko and the asking is 85.0.lang. moving forward, I got the scholarship and it helps me with my tuition fees. Kaya ang pinoproblema ko nalang non is bording house ko. Until meron na namang ibang offered na scholarships sa city so kahit sobrang haba ng pila,tiniis ko kasi I know it will save me. Luckily God is so good to me kaya I got them. That's why sa huling taon na pagaaral bago grumaduate, everything goes well and smooth because of those 3 scholarships. I Gave up selling shoes and focus sa exams nalang until I manage to graduate.....
July 2019.... FINALLY GRADUATED AND A CERTIFIED DEGREE HOLDER OF PSYCHOLOGY....
2024 update about me? I am now in a good path, I took a career that is relevant to my degree and still want exploring more things...

On April 18th, I had a sinus reconstruction surgery and a Eustachian tube dilation. My eardrums still click after my saline rinses when I try to pop them back y blowing my nose while pinching.
Nothing has helped and the ENT just says to give it time then they’ll check my ear pressure next month. Been having ear problems since Dec and idk what else to do to pop my ears. I take fluticasone and Allegra for allergies. Prednisone didn’t do shit either except help the swelling of my face post op.

When I was 9 years old, I came down with a bad cold during a ski trip, and after recovering, I was left with chronic sinusitis. For the second half of elementary school I was clearing my throat and blowing my nose excessively every day. I also used to get severe spikes in post-nasal drip that may or may not have been caused by infections.
Then when I was 14 I got an adenoidectomy, a turbinate reduction, and clarifix, which basically eliminated my post-nasal drip, congestion, and excess mucus that caused me to blow my nose 20+ a day. Then after a year, the clarifix stopped working (it only works for around a year), and my congestion and excess mucus would slowly creep up again, although no where near as bad pre-surgery. Post-nasal drip has been mild to none ever since.
The surgeon also told me that I had acid-reflux that trigged my sinuses and recommended a diet change as well as these acid-reflux pills to take before every meal. My then 15 year old self didn't have the discipline to follow his suggestions and my sinus problems were only 50% eliminated because of it.
I'm currently 18, and following a recent cold that really spiked my congestion, I've been motivated into taking action again to resolve my sinus issues. After having changed my diet (cutting out everything sweet, spicy, sticky, oily, sour, and acidic, and I mean EVERYTHING), as well as eating no later than 4 hours before bed, and at least 8 hours of sleep, I would say that all of my mucus-related problems are now about 75% less than before my surgery, but the congestion is still there. Everything counts. And nothing alleviates/aggravates your symptoms more than your diet. My diet entirely revolves around soups, rice, veggies, and clean meats.
I've also met with an ENT during my recent sinusitis spike following the cold, and after taking a look in my sinuses, she found that everything was structurally fine with no abnormalities, except that my sinus passages were smaller than average. A balloon sinuplasty to enlarge them is on my mind.
I've also began meeting with a Chinese acupuncturist. I used to meet with her several years back, before my surgery, and although she could somewhat alleviate my symptoms, it was never significant. She had also never met with a patient with chronic sinusitis. She told my mother after my latest appointment (5/14/2024) that after dealing with my symptoms, she began looking into more acupuncture points for the sinuses. After her research, she says she began to use this point on a lot of other patients (I had stopped meeting with her at this point), which she says has revealed a ton of positive results. She does this one spot, on the upper left and right sides of my nose, and she inserts the needle from above and into the area of congestion. Apparently it also activates the tear gland connected to the sinuses or something like that. Hurt like hell the first time, but in acupuncture, if a pressure point hurts a lot, that means the part of the body it's connected to is not functioning properly. That's why they insert needles into the pressure points that hurt you, specifically, the most. In the past 5 days, my mucus-related problems have been 95% - 100% resolved. Congestion is still there, but I am hopeful that further treatments will help, as I've only had 2 appointments since the 5 or so year-ish break. If not, I'll see an ENT for a balloon sinuplasty. The acupuncture has also significantly helped with my sleep quality and energy levels, which I believe have been severely negatively affected because of my chronic sinusitis.
Basically, the acupuncture only REALLY works after you've resolved the structural sinus issues. Also acupuncture may take 2+ sessions for results to kick in. Results will become permanent over time as your body adjusts to the temporary post-treatment improvements.
oh and lower your body-fat levels because that will reduce your overall inflammation, which is what sinusitis is: the inflammation of sinus tissues. Exercise regularly and incorperate cardio. A little cardio goes a long way.
My treatment to runny nose: NeilMed Sinus Rinse. My treatment to congestion: push-ups and cardio. Take afrin if the congestion is unbreathable. Drink warm liquids for post-nasal drip. Take tylenol/ibuprofen for sinus headaches. Relief is part of recovery. Less stress and more oxygen means less inflammation.
TLDR : Fix your diet & sleep, meet with an ENT to fix structural issues, and meet with an experienced acupuncturist (preferably highly-rated and Chinese) if you think your issues are immune-system related.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask in comments or dms.

I’m about to lose my mind. The nose tickles, the constant need to wipe/blow my nose, the dry, irritated skin from constantly wiping my nose…I’m in sensory overload hell. If anyone has tips on how to get rid of this ASAP, it would be much appreciated.

Alright! Look, listen…this here story is somethin’ I’m not too keen on sharin’, mainly because I ain’t got too much to say about it all but, also, because it’s more a flashback of something from my ravaged brain. Due to it being from my ravaged brain, I ain’t to certain it’s a real memory or something implanted to make me a more sympathetic type person. Either way, if you ask me to explain who I am, it might start like this: A long, long time ago…
18 years ago…
The icy clash of shattered glass mixed with the shrill scream of twisting metal as the crushing weight of the cylinder bared down on the old car. First, its hood crunched down to pop the headlights, and to make the fenders press and slice into the tires, tires already flattened by time and now made completely useless. Then the windshield crackled and the cabin crumpled. One rear tire still inflated suddenly deflated as the load of weight popped the sidewall to release a long, loud hiss. The rest of the car’s windows were missing already and, as the conveyor fed the last of the junkheap in the crusher, Alex looked on in satisfaction.
“Didn’t think we’d get that pile finished before sundown!” Alex said as he reached up to pull off his hat and wipe sweat from his brow. As he let his foot off from one actuator on the ground and, also, he let go of a large handle that sprung back into place. As he did so, the large crusher came to a slow grinding stop. When the glass settled and all was quiet, he pulled off his gloves and breathed a sigh of relief.
“You want me to get the truck?” Little Alex, his young daughter asked, her high voice came from behind to surprise her father.
He turned around with a jump. “What in the?!” He was startled, not just by his little girl, but by the fact that she was in the wrecking yard at all. “Who let you back you here?” he looked around before looking to his girl. “You know you’re not supposed be back here, LA.”
The little long-haired brunette did not shy away as she used her thumb to point over her shoulder, back at the door. “Mom said I’m big enough to be back here,” she smirked.
“Listen…” he knelt down to her, eye to eye and placed his hands gently on her shoulders. “Where the truck is at…” he nodded in that direction, over her shoulder, but was careful to keep eye contact. “And…out around the side-yard with Butch and Cassidy…yes…you’re big enough to be back there. But, look,” he pointed to a sign that said ‘Hardhat Area.’ “Signs like that are important and you need to pay attention to things like them.” He stood and took off his hard hat and looked at it as he continued. “LA, when your mom or I say the phrase ‘back there…’ well, it’s what we say when we go behind the office…it makes things easy for the customers to understand. But, you’re old enough to know the difference now, so, let me show you something.” He took the hardhat and placed it on little Alex’s little head. “First thing’s first: you’re gonna’ need one of these.”
“Are we going to get the truck?”
“Not just yet. You need to learn about the signs of danger back here.”
Only a few minutes had passed before the two found themselves standing at the back door entrance to the office. LA could hear her mom faintly talking with a customer up front, and started to reach for the doorknob, but Alex spoke up to say, “Hey, take a look at this.” LA stopped and turned to look. There, covered in years of grime and smudged with all manner of grease and oil, an assortment of signs had been nailed to the wall, adjacent to the threshold. “Have you ever noticed these before?” he looked to LA as she scanned the signs and slowly nodded. “Have you figured out what they mean?” Again, he watched her slowly nod. “Okay…” he raised his head in curiosity and pointed to a Hardhat sign, one that resembled what he had pointed out earlier near the crusher. It did not have any of the wording, it only had a little black figure of a man with a bright yellow hardhat, all surrounded by a thick bright-red circle. It did not click with LA, and Alex could see that. “Here, let me give you a hint.” He reached out and took the hardhat from her head and put in on his own, making sure to take a step sideways, just right enough to be in the same view of the sign so that LA could visually compare them.
She gasped with realization and a smile. “You need a hard hat!”
“That’s right!” Alex said excitedly as he bent down, grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her up into his arms. Even being nine, LA felt as light as a leaf in Alex’s muscled arms and, with one arm, he held her close as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He was about to point to the sign about needing to wear gloves in the back but, just then, he caught the scent of something unwelcome and, with his free hand he pointed to another sign. “What’s this one mean?” He asked as he scanned the area.
LA looked at it with concentration on her face.
The sign had what she knew to be a cigarette on it with a huge red circle that crossed through the cigarette. She crooked her head in slight recognition and pointed at it, “I’ve seen that at the diner, but…”
Alex found what he was looking for, and, with a smile and raised brow, he nodded. “That’s right. Do you know what it means though?” Trying not to break LA’s focus, Alex wiggled off the glove of his free hand and began snapping his fingers towards Jim, a man standing towards the back of the room.
As Jim looked up, a cigarette dangling from his lips, Alex’s face became stern as he discreetly motioned about the cigarette.
LA thought about it and, finally, shook her head to make her pony tail lightly whip and tickle against Alex’s neck, bringing his attention back. “What’s it means, dad?”
“It means No Smoking,” he said just loud enough for Jim to hear, looking at him one more time. “Cigarettes are bad for many reasons but, back here, they can set things on fire.” He watched as Jim, dejected, snuffed out the little fire-starter. He looked back to LA, then, the sign and pointed out a couple more items. “There’s lots of things back here that can hurt you. Corrosive stuff. Electrical things…you remember what happened in Robocop 2, when Murphy grabbed that electrical box?”
LA’s eyes went wide. “His name was Alex, too!”
Alex let loose a roaring laugh. “Yes! But you’re missing my point…remember how he got fried?”
LA nodded with her eyes growing even wider.
“Well…I don’t want THIS Alex fried!” He bopped her on the nose with his index finger. “You understand?”
With a giggle and a smile, LA gave a short little nod.
Hoping she understood, Alex turned to make sure Jim had really put his cig out but found no sign of the man. He set LA down, turned and opened the door and, in an instant, he saw the orange flick of firelight flash up. Not wanting to hurt LA, but it was all he could think to do in such a short time, he kicked her in the butt to send her sailing up the hall.
LA tumbled to the floor as thunder and orange light slammed the door closed behind her, throwing off the Employees Only sign that skipped across the floor to a stop at LA’s feet.
Present day…
When I woke up, the Crossout was well underway but enough about me, that’s a story for another time…right now, we need to get to the real story of things.
It all started when…

Or are they just separate entrances from the nostril, next to each other, but not connected?
I’m asking because every time I get sinusitis, whenever I blow my right nostril my right ear pops/crackles, it feels as if I’m blowing mucus into the tube. Since I rinse the nose regularly I assume all the mucus is typically sitting in the sinus, the actual nostrils are clear. So I’m probably blowing it out of the sinus and into the tube.
Currently I’m already on day 10 of Augmentin, I feel great, but there is still a ton of mucus, and the tube is still popping. It never ends.

I love spring with all the flowers blooming, birds chirping, and feeling the warmer air. However, when the blanket of pollen wraps around you, it’s nothing but a nuisance. I’m currently waiting to have my nose plugged up with mucus as my eyes get watery from all the congestion.

anyone blowing out dried red nose chips and having nose bleeds sometimes
not snorting anything just existing

My husband and I had a cat once, and he was very healthy until he reached 5 years old and developed hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. We had to put him down. After many years, and once the kids were old enough to be gentle around pets, we decided to adopt again. We went to a cat café to meet cats and see which one would fit well with our family. The café was small but had many cats running around. We decided to pick a gentle but friendly 9-month-old cat. Within a few days, I took her to the vet for a general wellness checkup. We had no concerns except for eye discharge and dirty ears. After the vet visit, she got a shot for rabies and was given thrombomycin for the eye discharge. They didn't say anything about her ear; they just cleaned it. The next day, we were told that her stool sample was free from worms. Great! Well, that wasn’t the case.
We have since visited the vet about twice a month for this cat. She has had giardia, trichomoniasis, chronic diarrhea (not caused by giardia or trichomoniasis), an ear infection that won't go away (after 3 weeks of Tresaderm and 2 weeks of an enrofloxacin/miconazole/dexamethasone mix), bloody mucus on her nose, eyes, and mouth, a heart murmur, panleukopenia, and FIP. It's been 4 months of intense and very expensive care for the cat. Despite all this, she keeps gaining weight (from 6 lbs to almost 8 lbs). We have been fighting for her to get better, but it’s been exhausting. My husband and I are tired (not only due to giving meds every day 2-3 times a day) but also having to constantly clean her and the house from diarrhea and clean her ear every day. Now, we found out that she’ll need TECA-BO ear surgery. Although it won’t bankrupt us, it will definitely hurt financially. Do we keep fighting, or is it time to let go? We are sooo stressed.

Sionia
Chapter 14
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“Lord Wyatt, you are needed” Called Lars that shook me out of my fascinating reading about dragon neuts.
“Yes.” I said as I pulled back the curtain.
“The city guard requests to speak with you. They are restricting entrance to Avalon given the latest attack by Mardor at Black Gate of Rowan.” Lars explained with a salute and chest bump
With a sigh, I handed my book to Gus and exited the carriage and was very impressed with the massive three story gatehouse and huge stone block readouts connected on each side. I was met by a forty something looking man of average build with black hair and dark eyes flanked by six fully fitted out soldiers.
“I am Rhys Redith captain of the guard here in Avalon. You must be Count Ryan Wyatt.” Rhys introduced himself with the question.
“Yes, I am Ryan Wyatt.” I responded with a frown and knotted brow.
“We have been expecting your arrival. The king has ordered us to assist you and provide hospitality. I am to escort you to the fortress and the rest of your party to Duggan's inn.” Said Rhys with a salute and formal bow.
“That will not do! I have several wards under my care which several are nobility.” I objected to the plan given.
“I was not aware. I will of course take you to the fortress where Lady Ludmilla will address your concerns.” Replied Rhys with a salute and bow then motioned for me to follow.
“Follow him, Jace .” I said to my new driver and climbed into the carriage.
The bridge over the north side of the Paradise River to the island of Avalon was very long at around a quarter mile or so. The readouts of the gatehouse extended a good ways into the river which had several firing positions. I suspected that the river rose and fell with a possible rainy and dry season which was why the readouts could prevent an army from getting behind the gatehouse or access to the bridge from land. The island side gatehouse was flush with the city walls and protruded into the river was equally as impressive with a descent sized recessed portico and draw bridge porch extension.
Thinking back to my travels through Europe, I decided Avalon looked like the city of East Looe, Cornwall in England but not as topographically elevated and with more renaissance style architecture than back on earth. The Roman style arched bridge was very much what we just rode across. The fortress of Avalon itself was at the highest point which was off to the left on the far east side of the island and most up stream point on the islands.
The Fortress keep was decent but still half the size of Duke Boasag's Buanna. I realized that the reason for putting my servants at an inn was because of the lack of space. However, I was determined to stay with my wards no matter the violation of etiquette it might cause. As my carriage pulled up to the entrance with the fortress that had both iron gates and metal reinforced wooden doors that were a good six feet wide and twelve feet tall each. These doors were set into no less than a three foot thick wall.
Passing through the gate was a small bricked paved courtyard that was about forty to fifty feet wide in a more or less oval shape. I saw a host of servants and two well dressed ladies waiting at the main doors to the fortress's central keep.
“Lord Wyatt, welcome to Avalon. I am Viscountess Ludmilla Skafhoggr and this is my mother Baroness Grogda Wode.” Stated a quiet plump pretty faced brown haired woman in a gaudy yellow with purple accented dress with unicorns all over it and a matching unicorn hat whose horn protruded a good foot from her forehead.
“Yes, it is a very deep pleasure to meet you as well.” Stated Lady Grogda a good looking woman who seemed to be in her mid to late thirties with black hair and unusual olive colored eyes. Her lite brown dress was quiet plain compared to her daughter's which was kind of comical in their contrast.
“The pleasure is mine for sure in meeting you ladies.” I said pouring it on a bit thick with a formal bow and sweep of my arm.
“I do not understand. Why are all your people with you?” Lady Ludmilla asked looking toward Captain Rhys but speaking to me.
“I have many wards under my protection. Thus, it is impossible to leave them alone without my presence as there are many who would try and take advantage of helpless young girls.” I stated but that failed miserably when Freya and the other three Asgardians approached fully armed with their swords.
“I would hardly call them helpless!” Spat Lady Grogda with a bit of contempt as the Asgardians were better looking than her.
“Despite appearances, they need my protection. After all, I am their guardian as I freed them from captivity.” I responded with a bit of admonishment in my voice.
“Yes, we have heard the tale. You are quiet the knight in shinning armor.” Lady Ludmilla said with obvious sarcasm.
“It is what it is. The wards will be with me wherever I am. If that is at an inn or camping on the side of the road, so bit it.” I stated with irritation.
“Do not be silly. We can host your wards and personal attendant. However, we must insist that the rest stay in the inn over there.” Lady Ludmilla said pointing to a three story building that was about fifty yards away.
“That is closer than expected. However, I accept. My people can stay at the inn while you host me and my wards.” I stated with another formal bow.
“Good, now come and we will see to your comfort.” Lady Ludmilla said with a bit of a laugh with Lady Grogda giving a small laugh and a wicked grin.
I immediately turned to Lars, Razor and Meowth and ordered that they maintain a watch on the carts and carriage around the clock as I did not want any lapse where someone would try to take advantage. I called to the wolf kin brothers to continue to protect the girls inside the fortress. Pointing to Lars, I told him to take our prisoner Andros to the adventure's guild office and turn him over and letting them know he was caught trying to steal from me. Tell them I will see them on morrow to see if Andros was telling the truth or just lying. Turning with a smile and motioned to Freya and the girls to follow me with Gus right behind me.
The inside of the fortress was decently furnished though it had more of the appearance of a military outpost than a holding of wealth as it looked quiet spartan. I was led to an upper chamber where Lady Grogda had already ordered a bath filled by the time we had arrived.
“I will see to you personally” Lady Grogda stated with that same wicked grin again.
I suddenly felt as though I was a piece of meat put on display before a hungry wolf. I steeled myself to not recoil as I just felt off with this lady.
“See to your master's baggage.” Lady Grogda ordered Gus who was surprised by the command.
Gus gave me a slight shaking of his head and left the chamber. Lady Grogda then proceeded to strip me with efficiency. Once I was naked, she suddenly took her time looking at my nakedness. She even traced my scars on my back with a click of her tongue. Walking over to the tub, I climbed in and sat down.
“Spoil sport” Said Lady Grogda as she grabbed a wash cloth.
“Do not get my wounds wet.” I said warning Lady Groda of what the doctor had told me.
“Why? Your wound is almost well healed. The stitches can be pulled out except here” Stated Grogda and tapped me on my left shoulder blade.
“I have been using a special salve from the high elves. I did not realize it was healing that fast. However, I was warned that getting my wound wet would effect my healing.” I repeated what Doctor Zalzwarth told me.
“Very well.” Groda conceded.
Lady Grogda began washing me where she was absolutely taking her time. It was obvious that she was deliberately feeling me up for her own pleasure. When she grasped my manhood. I stood up and said, “The water is cold and I am tired and hungry!”
“Humph” Pouted Lady Grogda her displeasure but began to rinse me.
Just as I was stepping out of the tub, Gus entered slightly out of breath as he had run to get my clothes with Lukas my footman helping. I sighed with relief as Gus helped me don my dressing gown.
“Old Maude will be here momentarily to apply your salve.” Gus said with a salute.
“Very good.” I replied to Gus then turned to Lady Grogda and said, “I was told you are a Dowager Baroness. Is that not so?” I blatantly asked appearing as innocent as I could.
“I will see you at the dinner bell hour.” Lady Groda said with a sort of half wave salute and stormed out of the chamber in a huff.
“Thank you, Gus. I actually thought I would have to literally fight to save my personal honor.” I remarked with a laugh.
“It was my pleasure, Lord Wyatt.” Gus responded and joined me in laughing.
Old Maude came about twenty minutes later and applied my salve and chatted about how excited she was to be in Avalon and wanting to visit one of the apothecary shops. I gave her permission but have one of the guards accompany her.
About an hour later and I was fully shaven and dressed, I heard a large bell ringing from a bell tower not far away from my chamber. With that, I headed down to the great hall that was just off the main entrance way. I was met by Lady Ludmilla who escorted me to Viscount Skafhoggr chair where she seated herself to my left. Lady Grogda appeared wearing a new pink dress and seated herself to my right. The one missing was the Viscount.
“Where is Lord Skafhoggr?” I asked Lady Ludmilla with a raised eyebrow.
“He is meeting with one of the military commanders. I believe they are deciding on how large a levy they must raise to battle the bastards of Mardor.” Replied Lady Ludmilla as she clapped her hands for servants to begin serving the evening meal.
Four exhausting hours later, I was back in my chamber with my nerves completely shot. The constant fawning and mindless chatter from Lady Ludmilla as well as the constant groping from Lady Grogda under the table had stained me to the max. I was ready for bed and was glad to sink into the lavender scented sheets. Gus grabbed a thin pallet and two blankets. Blowing out the candles he stepped into the hallway closing the door behind him. He would outside my door as custom demands while traveling.
A little over a half an hour later after Gus left, the door opened and closed quickly. I could not see in the darkness but relaxed when Freya spoke softly and slipped into bed with me. Freya did her magic on me as she mounted me taking me to new heights of pleasure. I quickly forgot all about the overly eager pursuit of the Dowager Baroness as I shared the pleasures of being with Freya. After we had sated ourselves completely, we slept peacefully in a loving embrace.
The morning came with a knock on my door that woke both Freya and I. I moaned but Freya nudged me on the chin.
“Time to wake you lazy bones.” Freya said with a laugh.
“I am not a morning person.” I said with a groan.
“Don't I know it! You were quiet the beast were you not?” Freya teased then laughed at me.
The knock on the door was more instant as I rose and put on my dressing gown. Opening the door slightly was Gus and the Dowager Baroness.
“It is early, what is it?” I asked.
“We have prepared a very special meal for you this morning.” Said Lady Grogda with a frown while she tried to look around me into the chamber.
“I see. Well, give me some time to properly dress and I will be down shortly.” I stated and continued to Gus “Have Lukas bring my shaving kit.”
“Right away, Lord Wyatt.” Gus said as he motioned down the hall where I assumed Lukas was.
About forty five minutes later and having snuck Freya out of my chamber, I was fully shaved and dressed in my dark red outfit and black beret hat that actually looked really good on me. Upon entering the great hall, I saw Lady Ludmilla seated. Lady Grogda taking me by the arm led me again to the Viscount's chair where she seated herself next to me.
“Where is Lord Skafhoggr, Lady Ludmilla?” I asked her directly.
Lady Ludmilla was quiet for a moment then said, “I guess he is sleeping. The meetings with the military commanders drag on for hours and hours. I hardly ever see him these days.” Lady Ludmilla said with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Is that so. Very well as it can not be helped. Please send my regards to Lord Skafhoggr for his hospitality. I was informed that the king would have a messages for me that Lord Skafhoggr was to give me. Could you ask Lord Skafhoggr for them?” I asked as I suspected something was just not right.
“Oh. Ah. I will of course ask my Lord Vincent for the king's message once morning meal is finished.” Lady Ludmilla said and looked discombobulated.
“I see. Please do so. The king ordered me to arrive in Camelot immediately. I can not dally and spend extra time as I normally would do. I hope you understand.” I said making extra emphasis on the king's order part.
“Yes. What the king commands we all must obey.” Lady Ludmilla said sourly but not looking at me.
Lady Ludmilla then clapped her hands and the servants brought in the morning meal. What surprised me was my meal was different from everyone else. Looking at both Lady Ludmilla and Lady Grogda something in the back on my head screamed warning warning.
The silver plate before me was a type of stew with a strong overpowering spice scent. I frowned and began to think hard and fast.
“This is a specialty from the High Valley region. I hope you like it.” Lady Grogda said with no expression at all.
My alarm bells went off even stronger this time. A footman came over to fill my cup which I deliberately knocked over and profusely apologized for my clumsiness.
“You know, I am from the High Valley region too. I have never been a fan of overly spiced foods. Lets see how spicy it is.” I stated and took a scoop with a spoon and handed it to the footman to taste.
The footman was surprised but more than happy to taste the food as it was obvious that food for the staff was very plain and simple.
“You should not do that! It is not right!” Lady Grogda said as she stood up showing more alarm than outrage.
The footman had already consumed the sample where he at first looked like he liked it. However, he suddenly started to choke as his face turned bright red and falling to his knees. Lady Ludmilla stood up in horror as the footman was gagging begging for water. I handed him my silver chalice with what I assumed was apple cider where he chugged it down then begged for more.
Finally, after three more cups of water given by another footman, first footman just lay on his back almost in a stupor. It was as if his mind was blank.
“What is this?” I asked as I pointed to my meal looking at both Lady Ludmilla and Lady Grogda.
“I do not know!” Said Lady Ludmilla looking at her mother with a strange look.
“Do not give me that! What did you do?” I demanded with a my voiced raised and now pointing my finger at them.
“It was a love potion. It was to make you like me.” Said Lady Grogda meekly and looking sheepishly at the ground.
“Seriously! That was more than a simple love potion!” I yelled my outrage.
“I swear that is all it was. I had to hide its not so pleasant taste with spice.” Lady Grogda stated her defense but still not able to look me in the eye.
“Lady Ludmilla, I must now ask that you bring me the king's message as I am now leaving Avalon.” I commanded with rage in my countenance.
Lady Ludmilla fled the great hall without replying. Lady Grogda just sat down with her head down looking at the floor saying nothing.
With exasperation, I called out to my people. “House of Wyatt, Ladies and girls we are leaving! Quickly gather your things and be out front within a little span!”
With that, I stormed out of the great hall to the shock of all present. Up in the guest chamber, I changed clothes into my bluejeans, a blue shirt and a tan leather vest. Pulling on my boots and strapping on my weapons belt, I looked over seeing Gus and Lukas already packed up my discarded clothing and was ready to leave as they were staying clear of my angry outbursts.
Down at the carts, I ordered my guards to ready themselves to leave. I sent Lukas to call all the servants in the inn to be ready to leave immediately. Razor and Meowth jumped down from their perch on the first two carriages with questioning looks.
“They tried to poison me! Can you believe it?” I said angrily as I swept my arm to point at the fortress.
“Meow Lord Wyatt, that is clawful. Do you want meow to use them like a scratching post?” Asked Meowth as her tail went straight in what I assumed was either surprise or anger.
Razor just gave a low grumbling growl with teeth bared as he looked at the fortress.
Forty minutes later as my people were loading up, Lady Ludmilla approached with her head down.
“I am sorry Lord Wyatt. It seems you do not have any messages from the king.” Lady Ludmilla said never once looking me in the eye.
“I see. Send a message to the king that I left Avalon today and as commanded traveling as quickly as I can. The king is expecting my update so make sure it is properly sent!” I said with a warning.
I ordered a florse saddled for I needed fresh air as I was still furious. I actually led our people out and toward the main north south road which Nick panicked a bit and settled with riding next to me. As we approached the main crossroads of the city, I saw a large dinning hall and ordered a halt for all of our people to have breakfast. The meal consisted of roasted mutton, eggs, apple pancakes and apple jam. They also had fresh chilled milk and apple cider which really went well with the sweet dishes. Our group apparently cleaned them out and they had to turn away a few customers until mid day.
After breakfast, I went to the adventurer's guild that was a few buildings to the south. It was a four story building of decent size. I allowed Old Maude with a one of the house guards to go to the apothecary shop across the road along with the two Alphardian servants Aura and Sylvia. Inside the adventurer's guild, I asked for Marine as instructed. It was then I learned that Marine was Zack Talley's girl where they were to marry soon as she proudly let me know her good news.
“Zack said to tell you this is a level one escort. Whatever that means.” I repeated what Zack had told me to say.
“Thank you. It simply means Zack thinks there would be no problems and just being present is enough to discourage any potential thieves. The total is two hundred fifty denari for basic escort with an A ranked adventurer.” Marine said with a smile
After paying the fee for the job request, I asked Marine to speak to someone about Andros that was brought in by man guard Lars.
“I am Supervisor Etan Borg and assistant to Guild Master Henry Stewart. It is a pleasure to be at your service Count Wyatt.” Stated Etan with a salute and bow.
“Pleasure is mine.” I replied with a salute and nod of my head.
“We have investigated Andros. His party the Finders of Avalon specialize in retrieving lost items or stolen goods from thieves. It appears his party was specifically requested to recover a lost ventu volpis. We do not have any more details for the job other than this.” Etan stated as he read from a page in his hand.
“Who hired them to steal from me? Make no mistake, they were hired to steal from me!” I said as I was showing my anger and frustration.
“Normally, we would not disclose who posted job requests to those not apart of the contract. However, given the circumstances, I was instructed to tell you it was Viscountess Lady Ludmilla. It seems she contracted and paid a merchant from Xanadu for a ventu volpis. It is our understanding that merchant was placed on a Quenya trade ship where he will go on trial for his many crimes in Svarta. The Finders of Avalon should not have tried to take your ventu volpis. Nor should they have taken on the job given the crimes of the merchant without more information.” Etan explained what the guild knew.
“What will happen to Andros?” I asked frankly.
“The Guild Master will hold a hearing with S and an A ranked members who will advise on the issues. I expect he will be found guilty but will escape the ten year punishment. More like one to two years of labor for the guild doing low ranked jobs that no one wants while being supervised by myself or a C ranked or higher adventurer. His pay will be one third of normal with the rest going to repay the guild and costs associated with his lapse in judgment.” Etan replied with a shrug of his shoulders.
“I see. The thing that irks me is they attacked my people and wounded one of my guards with a slinger's stone.” I explained my outrage.
“I was not aware of this fact. Master Stewart will compensate you as the law requires. Unfortunately, Master Stewart left for Camelot for meetings with the war counsel on Astria's response to the Empire's latest invasion. I will send a filoxis to let Master Stewart know that there was injury, offense and honor requirements. I understand you will be traveling to Camelot and am certain Master Stewart will seek you out to give you a formal apology and see you are properly compensated.” Etan stated with a salute and bow.
“Good enough. Let me know the outcome of the hearing for Andros. I do not like loose ends and a potential enemy looking for revenge.” I said mater of factually.
“Understood. I will relay your concerns to Master Stewart. Etan replied with another salute and bow.
Leaving the adventure's guild, I decided to visit the tradesman's guild and merchant's storefront while Old Maude was still busy across the street. The girls came with me as they had been requesting things like combs, brushes and scented oils plus a few other special feminine items they needed.
Once all the girls got what they were needing and getting those items stowed with their baggage, Old Maude came back with a small crate filled with items to make medicines. While the baggage was being loaded and sorted, I went to see the information broker's desk and inquired about Chamberlain Robert Duffy. I paid the requested fee of one erythro given his status in the city. I was shown a file which listed the qualities, character and known habits of Robert. There was a section about vices and food preferences. The only vice was seeing a woman who was a widow listed as a paid mistress. Basically, Robert was a straight as an arrow honorable man. I smiled as the report made me feel better about who I was helping.
Finally, with everyone loaded up, we headed out of the city of Avalon over the southern main bridge and gate that was just like the north one but slightly longer with a guard tower protected draw bridge section to let ships pass. After about two hours, I had calmed down enough that I rode in the carriage as was expected of a person of rank. I just looked out seeing nothing but the vast wheat fields of the Capital Region realizing how lucky I had been to escape the evils of the ladies of Fortress Avalon.

One night,I was collecting data-the main points- and writing it down on a journal for my essay I was about to submit for an assignment.Until,I received a call from an unknown number.I answered the phone and started off with a confused hi. "Ummmm. Your voice sounds steamy".It was a deep voice of a man. I thought it was a pervert and hang up.
But the creep didn't budge and continually called. Then,I blocked the number,and kept it on silent mode during my classes.
One night,my phone was buzzing which got me really worked up while I was trying to sleep.I got up, answered the call and blurted out in fustration: "What do you want?". "You and your best friends,who else? Meet me at the sidewalk of the local store you work in".Then,he hang up.
I gathered some courage and invited my six friends-three girls and three boys. It was 10:00 pm.We all headed to the sidewalk.There,we saw a white van parked beside it.We started yelling,and banging our fists on the van. When the tinted windows let down,there was two huge fists-as big as pumpkins-punched Rishalaya and I on the face,laying flat on the ground holding our noses.He got out and appeared to be a jacked man. As he was about to drag us into the boot,Zion jumped on his back,attempting to strangle him.We got up and started beating the guy.That guy pushed us all in one blow and we feel to the ground.He got up and smirked. "You all thought that you were so strong.Well,I'm here to take you to my mansion and spend some time with you guys". I got up and licked him in his loins.
We got up and ran for our lives.The man was running after us in such a speed that he pounced on me like a spider.He got on me and tried throttling me.I felt as if I couldn't breathe,and feeling like I was about to die.Ryan pounced on him,and gave a hard punch on his face.I was breathless.Coughing,I got up and ran home with my friends.I never told this incident to anybody,nor did my friends told anyone.
I cleaned the blood of my face,and covered the scars.
A few weeks later,I saw the same van parked near my house.I was angry.I came up to him and said, "What the hell do you actually want?". A large shadow cornered and I turned around to see him. I gulped in fear. It was scary to see such a huge man.He then pulled the back of my hair-it felt like he was about to rip my hair from the scalp.He dragged me to my bed,and took out his belt.
That's when the police came in,aiming a gun at him.He got a gun and tried shooting bullet at the officers but he missed as they officer dodged the bullet.Other cop got on him and handcuffed him.Grabbing his arms trying not to let go of him,he laughed at me.The female cop told me that he was a pedophile with mental health issues.He was a manager of an illegal drug business.
The next day,I told my friends about it. He got one year in prison.
A year has passed and I'm extremely scared of that guy.He must be lurking around somewhere.

I'm a 26M, 170cm, 83kg, Southeast Asian (living in Indonesia).
Yesterday when I woke up, the area inside my nose felt sore and dry. Inside my nose it felt like there are snot but I couldn't blow it out, but had to suck it in and throw it out from my mouth. Sometimes later my throat area then felt dry and hurting a little bit. I dont know if this will help but my snot is mostly white, but there are yellowish in color and sometimes mixed with a little blood. I googled up my simptoms and is what happened to me really post-nasal drip?
It's been two days ive felt this. Also in previous years, ive never felt sick this often before, but since January it has been the 5th/6th times ive felt like this. Should i be worried?
currently im not in any medication, i'm not drinking alcohol, or smoke, or consuming any drugs.
please help me out and thank you! :D

Despite being a heavier person, I'd never experienced any signs of sleep apnea until my roommate gave me covid in 2022. The very first day I started showing symptoms I also started waking up gasping for air every time I tried to sleep. Did a sleep study which showed "mild apnea" according to the Dr, who then prescribed me a ResMed Airsense 11.
I'm a stomach/side combo sleeper- kind of on my stomach but with one leg up and arm under pillow, face sort of half buried in the pillow. I also have bad insomnia and toss and turn a lot. I've yet to find a mask that doesn't leak, doesn't flood, and doesn't leave red marks and dry flaky skin on my face that never seems to go away. I feel like I wake up a lot more at night now than I ever have and I'm constantly exhausted. I hate fighting with the machine every night, but waking up gasping for air feels terrible. Any recommendations on masks, or just how to make any of this more bearable, are greatly appreciated.
I've tried - a hard plastic full face mask (pushed into my face to hard for the position I sleep in, plus hose in front is a no-go) - a silicone nasal mask with both the individual little nose pillows (hurt my nostrils, apparently I have a small nose), as well as the long single nose piece with the slit that just sits under your nose (leaks air) - the one I seem to struggle with the least is the Phillips Dreamwisp nasal mask, which I have to pay out of pocket for because it was discontinued because it used magnets on the straps. It's great for about 4-5 weeks and then the silicone gets loose and it starts to blow air in my eyes. Plus they positioned the strap in a way that digs into your ear.
TL:DR looking for mask recommendations for sleep style described in paragraph 2

I’ve been smoking carts for a few months and i don’t think i’ve ever really been high my eyes get a little red but that’s it im wondering if i just don’t know that im high or if i just don’t get high i also have no reaction to nicotine but thats normal since all it gives you is like a buzz mostly of like energy or whatever but im so confused on why i never feel high (also please give me advice on how to inhale cause i might be doing it wrong) when i inhale i act like i just breathing like normal then when im ready to let it out i press im tongue on to the roof of my mouth to get the smoke out through my nose (i don’t every time) then i blow it out of my mouth idk if im doing something wrong

Hi,
Title. Especially when I take pseudoedepherine it can go down to 90/60 and causes tightness on the chest. Which doesn't make any sense because normally this medicine should increase the blood pressure. But while I was under antidepressant last year I didn't have the low blood pressure even when I took the maximum daily dosage of pseudoedepherine.
Anyways I'm 29M, EU, GAD and IBS/reflux sufferer whole my life but last two years symptoms turned into more physical. At least escitalopram and psychotherapy helped with managing many symptoms but I still have these below last two years which never gave me a break if you can relate:

• Nasal inflammation from inside the nose. No infection or mucus, no polyps, no deviation. Nostrils just becomes enflamed and no air goes through. ENT doctor couldn't find anything, allergy test didn't show anything but I will be seeing an allergist itself on July. My symptoms actually went really bad when I moved into an apartment with underfloor heating two years ago. There is a whole different thread about that if you are curious https://www.reddit.com/Sinusitis/s/ooSgICdkju
• Aching and unstoppable stiffness from under the chin to tip of fingers. Throbbing pulsation and muscle soreness on the neck, rarely on the limbs.
• Increase on IBS and reflux symptoms. I had them since 14 but last 3 years they are crazy most likely since I gained a lot of weight that my BMI was almost 30 but luckily losing weight since last year.
• Not everyday but every couple of days a month burning eyes with teardrops especially laying down in the mornings or evenings.

Thanks.

So, did you manage to count all the re-cycled elements from Steven Moffat's first Doctor Who 2-parter The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances all the way back in May 2005 in Saturdays episode Blow - I mean, Boom...?
Did we have the Gas-Mask kid - no. We did not. But the main villain of the piece is indeed a combat ambulance, we have a kid - this time a little girl - searching (this time) for her Daddy who's been converted into something approximating what he originally was but not quite the original thing and the whole episode rests around a situation wherein everything's about to be blown to smithereens at any moment due to a bomb being on pause.
Oh yes, and the Doctor ends up dancing.
I'm a huge fan of Steven Moffat but, to be perfectly honest, Boom came across more a reject from the Droste Effect meta that became both the raison d'être and ongoing motif of his tenure as showrunner throughout his Matt Smith/Peter Capaldi era.
I got the gag right off the bat: Doctor Who instilled in this guy, at a very young age - that of Amy actually when 11 first meets her (a Scottish boy character would too on-the-nose and nowhere near as pretty to work with) - the urge to write, and I understand that: this fucking show got me at about the same age too.
So, when Steven Moffat gets his chance to write his own version of this thing, it's not just going to be a bunch of stories loosely strung together: this is going to be his dissertation on both the art of TV writing, as well as a history of Doctor Who.
If you want a free and actually very, very good course on both creative screenwriting as well as a crackingly good discourse on the art of writing Doctor Who - Steven Moffat's go as showrunner is an actually very, very witty, cleverly constructed and seriously well written Open University course in creative writing: he takes you through everything, the key core concepts being that writers - not just Doctor Who writers, but writers don't originate anything: they recycle.
To put it in the clearest terms, the screenwriter is The Silence: they don't originate anything, what they do is take whatever's already been done, chop it up into smaller bits and then tell an entirely different story to the "original" by simply moving the bits around to bring about a different outcome.
And you see this used over and over - the same motifs, the same story elements refused, often reversed from the original, and used as the basis of a new story effecting a different outcome, thus:
Say in the case of The Silence) (for example) you have a highly secretive religious order who go around manipulating everything to effect a history they want to replace another yet - at the same time - excise and remove all memory and trace of themselves from reality - whereas, when we come to Peter Capaldi's run we have The Monks who basically do exactly the opposite - they set out to write themselves into history making humanity believe they've always been there helping when, if fact the exact opposite is true...
But it doesn't just stop there: go back all the way to the Bill Hartnell era and the Peter Butterworth character The (Meddling Monk) - the idea of meddling Monks in the fabric of Doctor Who has its genesis far, far earlier - and The Silence too - go back to the David Tennant story Silence in The Library/Forrest of The Dead: Donna finds herself trapped in a virtual ream governed by a dapper suited Dr Moon who, the moment reality begins to creep in, just appears out of nowhere, gives you a "rational" reason why whatever glitch isn't important - and then, you forgot....
But even this has its roots in far, far earlier Doctor Who stories: the Mind Robber), The Land of Fiction - Moffat is perfectly candid about the fact he's not just simply a screenwriter, he's an incredible geek about Doctor Who - and he doesn't go to these lengths just for your benefit, this - his version of the show - is his oeuvre - he's not just a fan, he's a cleaver, cleaver bastard, and he never gets tired of letting you know that.
And so it goes on: Moffats take on the show is a meta involving his entire approach to both being a writer, the act of writing as well as knowing his stuff concerning the show - and, as you go through it, it's a joy to peel back the layers of exactly how many levels Steven Moffat likes to hold forth - confidently - about stuff he really does actually know a fuck of a lot about...
But here, in the context of the current show - this isn't what Moffats doing: he did all that, if you want to go back and stick your head inside Steven Moffats - by all means, go back and watch his version of Doctor Who.
Boom, however, is none of the above things, is just plain lazy: this is something he could have written with one hand tied behind his back and his eyes shut - and I wouldn't put it past him to have approached it that way were it not physically impossible for him to actually have done it.
This has all the superficial gloss of being a cleaver sci-fi concept - and. lest we not forget, the Villenguard Algorithm actually exists, if you're an NHS patient the acceptable cost of your long-term treatment is pre-determined and capped, controlled by an algorithm that just does the maths and decides to pull the plug after spending has reached a certain point: this is a real life thing, Steven Moffat hasn't made it up he's just become aware of it enough to feel as outraged as any right thinking person should - but, that's a different debate.
The point is Boom really is - for a fuck cleaver guy who never gets tired of pressing home how incredible cleaver he is - is a pretty lazy rehash of something he actually wrote far better, probably around 20 years ago.
Maybe that's the point - maybe this is a measure of the distance travelled and lessons learned: were this penned by anyone else, their parents would rightly (and proudly) give a copy pride of place magneted to the fridge - but this is Steven Moffat...
He actually does know better and he's ignoring it.
For Steven Moffat this really was going through the motions at turning in an original script - nice to see Davis's "snow" - and Ruby - are properly established as this season's Bad Wolf - but even this really is sticking to tried and tested crowd pleasing ground even on Russel's part.
Boom lacks, for want of a better word - everything that made Steven Moffat penned story the treasure it once used to be - I know the extended 5 years of the bugger running the show would drain anyone - but this was a rehash plain and simply just to have something to turn in.
Moffat wasn't trying here - he was coasting and, really, it shows. Great job on Russel's part pulling the show back from the brink BBC Studios had happily let the show slide perilously close to going over as far as domestic audiences were concerned - but I'm not seeing anything here that wasn't done better 20 years ago: and frankly it lacked any of the spark that actually made the show good when it first came back.
A few nifty tricks - the whole body thing - "Sharp scratch" - this is a guy who's been to the hospital more than he would otherwise like the past few years - you hit a certain age, I've been there.
But this was more a dud than an explosion - perhaps I should have tempered my expectations, but when the name Steven Moffat is attached to something - it should at least sparkle, and this wasn't even a sparkler.
Just a dud that, in the end, failed to go off.
8/10 if it were written by anyone else - coming from Steven Moffat, however - I'm being generous with a 6/10.
I watched it, probably never going to go back.