Matt wertz i just realized lyricssx
Motern Media
2014.01.30 14:30 dillonflynn Motern Media
A hub for any information relating to the music, the films & the cult of Matt Farley.
2024.05.20 08:23 GClassGTRoad Nanak Says There Is No Need For Gurdwaras
 | Page 795 Mahala 1 submitted by GClassGTRoad to sikhiism [link] [comments] ਬਿਲਾਵਲੁ ਮਹਲਾ ੧ ॥ bilaaval mahalaa pehilaaBilaaval, First Mahala: ਮਨੁ ਮੰਦਰੁ ਤਨੁ ਵੇਸ ਕਲੰਦਰੁ ਘਟ ਹੀ ਤੀਰਥਿ ਨਾਵਾ ॥ man ma(n)dhar tan ves kala(n)dhar ghaT hee teerath naavaaFollowers of various faiths think that the temple (ma(n)dhar) is a place where God resides. Temples in different faiths means a physical place of worship. According to aad Granth, the creator does not reside in just one place, he resides everywhere within everything. He is with us all the time since our conception. Hence, our mind is the temple of the creator (man ma(n)dhar). When the creator resides in our mind then all our body’s sensory organs (tan ves kala(n)dhar), which provide input to our mind, do not provide any faulty/wrong/bad information to our mind. With both mind and body aligned, we don’t need to go to temples/shrines/ritualistic bathing places etc. to purify ourselves. The purification which according to other faiths happens at temples/shrines/ritualistic bathing places happens within our mind (ghaT hee teerath naavaa). Our mind is our place of pilgrimage. ਏਕੁ ਸਬਦੁ ਮੇਰੈ ਪ੍ਰਾਨਿ ਬਸਤੁ ਹੈ ਬਾਹੁੜਿ ਜਨਮਿ ਨ ਆਵਾ ॥੧॥ ek sabadh merai praan basat hai baahuR janam na aavaa 1Mahala 1 says that when our mind becomes the house/temple of creator within us, then the satguru’s(creator within us) shabad is firmly entrenched in our mind (ek sabadh merai praan basat hai). In such a situation our mind does not wander around, only following our satguru. Wandering of the mind is defined as a cycle of life and death in aad Granth. Once the mind is stabilized and follows the satguru, the cycle of life and death is terminated (baahuR janam na aavaa). Aad Granth does not subscribe to reincarnation. The cycle of life and death as defined in aad granth is applicable when we are alive, and it relates to ups and downs of our mind. ਮਨੁ ਬੇਧਿਆ ਦਇਆਲ ਸੇਤੀ ਮੇਰੀ ਮਾਈ ॥ man bedhiaa dhiaal setee meree maieeMahala 1 says that O’ mother (meree maiee), my mind is connected (man bedhiaa) to the compassionate and merciful creator within me (dhiaal setee). ਕਉਣੁ ਜਾਣੈ ਪੀਰ ਪਰਾਈ ॥ kaun jaanai peer paraieeMahala 1’s mind is connected to the creator as he lives his life based on habits, characteristics and mindset which is aligned with his satguru. One of the aspects of connection with satguru is the realization that there is nothing or no one else in the world we can count on for mental support than him. Besides satguru, no one truly knows what troubles our mind (kaun jaanai peer paraiee). ਹਮ ਨਾਹੀ ਚਿੰਤ ਪਰਾਈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ ham naahee chi(n)t paraiee 1 rahaauBesides satguru, no one else can help stabilize the ups and downs that goes on constantly within our mind (ham naahee chi(n)t paraiee). Since these are the Rahao lines the central message of the Shabad is contained within these lines. The ups and downs of the mind are bad thoughts, habits, or characteristics that bring you away from the creator within(satguru). These ups and downs of the mind is also termed as a cycle of life and death. The summary of the Rahao lines is that connection with satguru happens if we live our life based on habits, characteristics and mindset which is aligned with our satguru’s hukam within ourselves. Only satguru can help us deal with the trials and tribulations (ups and downs) of our mind. Once such a connection happens the wrong desires of the mind are controlled and the cycle of life and death due to the trials and tribulations of the mind is broken. ਅਗਮ ਅਗੋਚਰ ਅਲਖ ਅਪਾਰਾ ਚਿੰਤਾ ਕਰਹੁ ਹਮਾਰੀ ॥ agam agochar alakh apaaraa chi(n)taa karahu hamaareeMahala 1 calls the creator as forever stable (agam), inaccessible (agochar), unfathomable (alakh), invisible and infinite (apaaraa). The creator is forever stable within our mind. He is not directly accessible to us, indirectly he is via our thoughts and consciousness. Our mind is not capable of comprehending the limits of the creator. Mahala 1 says that the creator is always taking care of his creation, us (chi(n)taa karahu hamaaree). ਜਲਿ ਥਲਿ ਮਹੀਅਲਿ ਭਰਿਪੁਰਿ ਲੀਣਾ ਘਟਿ ਘਟਿ ਜੋਤਿ ਤੁਮ੍ਹਾਰੀ ॥੨॥ jal thal maheeal bharipur leenaa ghaT ghaT jot tum(h)aaree 2He is not only within us but within all his creation (everything around us). He is within water (creatures living in water, Jal), within land (creatatures living on land, thal), within the sky (creatures living in the sky, maheeal) and other places that we cannot comprehend (bharipur leenaa). The creators light, influence, and control is on every creature and within their minds (ghaT ghaT jot tum(h)aaree). Here Mahala 1 talks about various characteristics of the creator, including the fact that his light, influence, and control is on every living creature and within their minds(through their satguru). ਸਿਖ ਮਤਿ ਸਭ ਬੁਧਿ ਤੁਮ੍ਹਾਰੀ ਮੰਦਿਰ ਛਾਵਾ ਤੇਰੇ ॥ sikh mat sabh budh tum(h)aaree ma(n)dhir chhaavaa tereMahala 1 continues to give credit to satguru for every aspect of our life. He says that everything I learn (sikh), and my intellect (mat) and my understanding (sabh budh) of anything around me and life in general comes to me from satguru(tum(h)aaree). All the good thoughts/habits/virtues/characteristics that are part of my mind is because of you satguru(ma(n)dhir). Satguru/ the creator is the owner of my body as-well (chhaavaa tere). ਤੁਝ ਬਿਨੁ ਅਵਰੁ ਨ ਜਾਣਾ ਮੇਰੇ ਸਾਹਿਬਾ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਵਾ ਨਿਤ ਤੇਰੇ ॥੩॥ tujh bin avar na jaanaa mere saahibaa gun gaavaa nit tere 3Mahala 1 is full of gratitude towards the creator and nobody else (tujh bin avar na jaanaa mere saahibaa). His gratitude towards the creator is based on everything that he has given us (qualities of the creator and body to cultivate them). The only way we can show our gratitude towards the creator is by continuously adopting qualities/virtues of the creator within our mind/life (gun gaavaa nit tere). ਜੀਅ ਜੰਤ ਸਭਿ ਸਰਣਿ ਤੁਮ੍ਹਾਰੀ ਸਰਬ ਚਿੰਤ ਤੁਧੁ ਪਾਸੇ ॥ jeea ja(n)t sabh saran tum(h)aaree sarab chi(n)t tudh paaseAs he did in the preceding lines Mahala 1 praises the creator here as well. He praises the creator by saying that all living being are dependent on you and only you.(jeea ja(n)t sabh saran tum(h)aaree). You create and provide for everything and everyone within your creation. You take the onus of taking care of your creation (sarab chi(n)t tudh paase). ਜੋ ਤੁਧੁ ਭਾਵੈ ਸੋਈ ਚੰਗਾ ਇਕ ਨਾਨਕ ਕੀ ਅਰਦਾਸੇ ॥੪॥੨॥ jo tudh bhaavai soiee cha(n)gaa ik naanak kee aradhaase 42In life we experience good and bad within the boundaries/rules of the creator. Mahala 1 concludes the poem with the assertion that he considers whatever the creator does to him (good or bad) to be good/acceptable (jo tudh bhaavai soiee cha(n)gaa). He reaches such a conclusion though understanding that the creator resides within him. He concludes that we (naanak) must always pray to satguru that our mind always accepts the decisions of the creator as good for us (kee aradhaase). Here Mahala 1 says that the creator takes the onus of taking care of everyone within his creation. We must all accept the decisions of the creator (whatever happens to us in life) as good for us |
2024.05.20 08:23 primroseferal Call me dumb but I just realized she had three eyes
 | No I haven’t read the comic she’s from 😢 submitted by primroseferal to MLPIOS [link] [comments] |
2024.05.20 08:23 LostManufacturer7316 Adderall induced psychosis I feel like ruined my time & chance with someone who felt like the one
Basically that. When we met I was recovering from a psychotic episode and was doing okay. He was extremely sweet and understanding and we clicked like something out of a fairy tale. I had that feeling of being around someone I’d known all my life but forgot that you knew them. The sexual chemistry and compatibility was amazing. The romantic attraction was strong, deep emotional connection, lots of similar hobbies and goals, similar values. Enough discrepancy to keep our conversations interesting. He communicated well and wanted to make me happy. We were comfortable enough to tease each other and talk about anything basically from the get go. And it just flowed really naturally, everything felt natural.
I didn’t know that my psychosis was either caused or made worse by my being on adderall. My doc put me back on it and everything changed. It started out with just paranoia, getting these intense anxious preoccupations that I’d ask him to reassure me weren’t true. He was as patient as a saint and didn’t mind reassuring me at all. But the anxiety never really left. I became uptight and easily irritated. Emotionally detached and either distant or worrying about something. I became convinced he didn’t actually like me and was using me for sex and I got mean and accusatory with him. I treated him awfully. But I didn’t know what was happening, I was confused too, so I tried really hard to prove that I did actually like him… after the adderall wore off in the evening I would get extremely depressed and realize how much of a jerk I was being because I couldn’t control or reason with my thoughts.
I’d apologize, we’d kind of talk it through sometimes and think we were okay but it just kept getting worse. When we’d hang out we would barely talk but couldn’t leave each other alone because of the connection in the beginning. And I think it was clear to him that I wasn’t trying or wanting to act like this but he didn’t know what was happening either. At one point he said that he just felt like who he was didn’t make me happy and nothing he did was right. I tried to convince him that it wasn’t him at all and I was just dealing with these issues but I was lost in this delusional state where I forgot I wasn’t always like this and had delusions about both myself and him… that I didn’t know were delusions. Anyway it got so bad that he ended up blocking me, but before he did he told me that he truly felt like this was a case of right person wrong time.
And I feel haunted by him. By this whole thing. I’m starting to feel more like myself at least a little bit and I am haunted by all the times I sat there paralyzed in fear when I just wanted to hold his hand or say something sweet. I get hit with flashbacks when I sing in the car or act goofy and remember when he tried to help me loosen up again and I just rolled my eyes to cover up the terror I felt and how I was convinced I was broken and didn’t know how to be silly anymore. I’m horrified at the thought that he thinks he did anything to make me feel that way. He never did. I projected my delusions onto him. It’s been years since I’ve been attracted to anyone until him. And I would say I’ve even been with people who felt like soulmates before but never felt like everything was so right for me about someone like that. Like there you are, I’ve been looking for you my entire life. And I obliterated it. Completely ruined it. I was too proud to admit to anyone how fucked up my thoughts were and not sure I even understood how far removed I was either. Psychosis took a lot from me but this I’m having a really hard time getting over.
I think because if I had at least been myself and it didn’t work out, I could live with that. But the fact that I wasn’t and I’ll never know… I don’t even want to move on in case he decides to reach back out at some point. It’s awful. I have this nagging feeling that we could have been really good for each other. Has anyone else ruined a relationship because of psychosis?
submitted by LostManufacturer7316 to Psychosis [link] [comments]
I didn’t know that my psychosis was either caused or made worse by my being on adderall. My doc put me back on it and everything changed. It started out with just paranoia, getting these intense anxious preoccupations that I’d ask him to reassure me weren’t true. He was as patient as a saint and didn’t mind reassuring me at all. But the anxiety never really left. I became uptight and easily irritated. Emotionally detached and either distant or worrying about something. I became convinced he didn’t actually like me and was using me for sex and I got mean and accusatory with him. I treated him awfully. But I didn’t know what was happening, I was confused too, so I tried really hard to prove that I did actually like him… after the adderall wore off in the evening I would get extremely depressed and realize how much of a jerk I was being because I couldn’t control or reason with my thoughts.
I’d apologize, we’d kind of talk it through sometimes and think we were okay but it just kept getting worse. When we’d hang out we would barely talk but couldn’t leave each other alone because of the connection in the beginning. And I think it was clear to him that I wasn’t trying or wanting to act like this but he didn’t know what was happening either. At one point he said that he just felt like who he was didn’t make me happy and nothing he did was right. I tried to convince him that it wasn’t him at all and I was just dealing with these issues but I was lost in this delusional state where I forgot I wasn’t always like this and had delusions about both myself and him… that I didn’t know were delusions. Anyway it got so bad that he ended up blocking me, but before he did he told me that he truly felt like this was a case of right person wrong time.
And I feel haunted by him. By this whole thing. I’m starting to feel more like myself at least a little bit and I am haunted by all the times I sat there paralyzed in fear when I just wanted to hold his hand or say something sweet. I get hit with flashbacks when I sing in the car or act goofy and remember when he tried to help me loosen up again and I just rolled my eyes to cover up the terror I felt and how I was convinced I was broken and didn’t know how to be silly anymore. I’m horrified at the thought that he thinks he did anything to make me feel that way. He never did. I projected my delusions onto him. It’s been years since I’ve been attracted to anyone until him. And I would say I’ve even been with people who felt like soulmates before but never felt like everything was so right for me about someone like that. Like there you are, I’ve been looking for you my entire life. And I obliterated it. Completely ruined it. I was too proud to admit to anyone how fucked up my thoughts were and not sure I even understood how far removed I was either. Psychosis took a lot from me but this I’m having a really hard time getting over.
I think because if I had at least been myself and it didn’t work out, I could live with that. But the fact that I wasn’t and I’ll never know… I don’t even want to move on in case he decides to reach back out at some point. It’s awful. I have this nagging feeling that we could have been really good for each other. Has anyone else ruined a relationship because of psychosis?
2024.05.20 08:22 Lawler33 Frogs Farm, i don't get it
So after a couple of hours reddit and other part of the WoW-Community get flooded with posts about, how bad Blizz handled the Frog Massacre. I don't know if i get this wrong but, the Frog nerf had to happen ASAP. I don't think complaining about the "oh i don't hit bronce cap in the first 5 days" is a valid reason to shit on the fact that they had to nerf it. I think alot of people just jumped on it bcs of videos and posts and didnt even realize what made the frog farm so broken. The insane powercreep by turning the lesser coins into threads had to be stopped sooner than later. You can up the bronce gain on a week day or in a later point, like its still +90days, but the insane amount of stats people gained is not something they can just overlook.
So in my POV, Blizz could have handled it better, but lets be real. Should they really work something out smart for some guys and their bronce obsession in the first 3 days on a weekend or just bandaid-fix it before more people get insane stats oneshotting every boss.
IMO classic WoW-Community whining again
submitted by Lawler33 to wow [link] [comments]
So in my POV, Blizz could have handled it better, but lets be real. Should they really work something out smart for some guys and their bronce obsession in the first 3 days on a weekend or just bandaid-fix it before more people get insane stats oneshotting every boss.
IMO classic WoW-Community whining again
2024.05.20 08:22 Jumpy_Routine69 Looking for some “hard to get to” hikes in the mountains
Hi, as the title suggests, I’m looking for some beautiful hikes that take a bit of rough roading to get to the start of In the mountains.
I have an older truck with decent off-roading capability that I’m going to sell soon, and I just realized I’ve never actually taken it to the mountains and enjoyed so I’m looking for a hike that takes a decent bit of gravel or dirt/unkept road driving to get to.
I’m not looking to rock crawl or anything, just something that can make me feel like I went somewhere with my truck that I wouldn’t be able to in my tiny car. Thanks
submitted by Jumpy_Routine69 to HikingAlberta [link] [comments]
I have an older truck with decent off-roading capability that I’m going to sell soon, and I just realized I’ve never actually taken it to the mountains and enjoyed so I’m looking for a hike that takes a decent bit of gravel or dirt/unkept road driving to get to.
I’m not looking to rock crawl or anything, just something that can make me feel like I went somewhere with my truck that I wouldn’t be able to in my tiny car. Thanks
2024.05.20 08:21 Count-Daring243 Best Charter Arms Holsters
 | submitted by Count-Daring243 to u/Count-Daring243 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/gooqdu8sxi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1cfbbe85c3fca8ff4a8c8e8c3b6775dd6cd8533 Welcome to our comprehensive review of Charter Arms Holsters, where we delve into the world of high-quality and customizable solutions for gun enthusiasts. From concealed carry options to holsters designed for specific gun models, we aim to provide you with an engaging and informative read that covers the wide range of holster options available from Charter Arms. The Top 10 Best Charter Arms Holsters
Reviews🔗Quality Belt Holster for Ruger SP101 Revolvershttps://preview.redd.it/himovpdyxi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88f5f9ca246f4c35a96832db9ff14720f53a2ef7 In my quest for a reliable holster to carry my trusty Colt Detective Special, I stumbled upon the Galco Hornet Holster. Made from the finest horsehide and backed by Galco's reputation for quality products, I was eager to test it out. I was not disappointed. Right from the get-go, the fit and finish of the Hornet were impressive, with even the tiniest details accounted for. The initial fit was snug, but following Galco's break-in procedure resulted in a perfect match. The minimal profile of the belt holster made it ideal for concealed carry. As a holster for everyday carry, the Hornet truly excelled. It fit my Colt Detective Spl perfectly, as if it were made just for it. The comfort and security it provided were unmatched. I could confidently wear it throughout my daily tasks, knowing my firearm was safe and secure. The Galco Hornet Holster made a significant difference in my concealed carry routine. Its high-quality materials and exceptional craftsmanship made it a reliable and trustworthy companion. If you're looking for a well-made holster to carry your revolver, look no further than the Galco Hornet. 🔗Versatile Black Vault OWB Holsterhttps://preview.redd.it/6gtjaq4txi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9dbf20a08e50fcd3a7aef558ee1c2cab23c61cfc As a recent convert to Versacarry's Guardian Black Vault (OWB) Holster, I must say I'm impressed. The holster offers a universal fit, which is perfect for those who own multiple handguns and don't want to invest in a separate holster for each one. One of the standout features I noticed is the gun retention - it's secure and reliable without causing any discomfort. The belt loop slots are another highlight, as they're wide enough to make the holster easy to put on. Plus, the variety of designs available means there's something for everyone - I found one that truly complements my style. Lastly, the affordable price point is a great advantage for those on a budget, like myself. Of course, no product is perfect, and I did encounter a minor issue with the holster being a bit uncomfortable during the break-in period. However, it's nothing a little patience and persistence can't fix. Overall, I'm thoroughly satisfied with the Guardian Black Vault (OWB) Holster from Versacarry, and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a versatile and affordable option for their handguns. 🔗Vedder Holsters - Premium Sig Sauer P365 X-MACRO Holster for Optimal Concealment and Comforthttps://preview.redd.it/gas11s8txi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e05be6a193aed69cf902639f04f4e8fde82b40e7 As a responsible gun owner, I was always on the lookout for the perfect holster that would provide me with the ultimate security and convenience. Recently, I had the pleasure of trying out the Sig Sauer P365 X-Macro w/out Thumb Safety OWB Holster Prodraw by Vedder Holsters. One of the first things I noticed about this holster was its customization. Each holster is crafted with precision to fit your gun perfectly, allowing for a snug fit that provides security without limiting your movement. The audible click when securing my gun in the holster was a nice touch, providing reassurance that my firearm was safely in its place. The convenience factor of this holster is excellent, with an adjustable retention feature that allows you to decide how secure you want your holster to be. The paddle design makes it easy to put on and take off, without the need to undo your belt. The minimal bulk and weight make it ideal for everyday carry. The quality of the holster is evident, with reinforced shells that ensure a convenient one-handed re-holstering experience, perfect for range days. This holster offers the perfect blend of lightweight, sturdy, and secure, perfect for both concealed and open carry situations. Although I couldn't find any major drawbacks during my experience, it's always essential to note potential cons for the readers. However, based on the holster's outstanding performance and benefits, I would highly recommend the Sig Sauer P365 X-Macro w/out Thumb Safety OWB Holster Prodraw by Vedder Holsters to anyone in search of the ultimate paddle holster. 🔗Vedder Holsters Charter Arms Holster Claw Add-On Kithttps://preview.redd.it/l6k1a2ntxi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efddac673fa38cd3ea31a205aa12d0de4c02160f Recently, I got my hands on the Vedder Holsters Holster Claw Add-On Kit. Now, I've always appreciated the minimalist yet functional design of Vedder holsters, but with this new addition, I have to say, it's been a game-changer for my daily carry. One of the standout features of this kit is the ease of installation. It's simple, and once it's in place, you can truly feel the difference it makes in concealing your firearm. The claw really does its job, pushing the grip closer to your body, a huge plus for those of us who like to stay concealed. However, it's not all sunshine and roses. The one-screw attachment for the claw can be a bit frustrating. It's tough to find that perfect balance of retention and ease of draw. I had to loosen it just a bit to make it work smoothly, but it still leaves a bit of play that I'd prefer weren't there. Overall, the Holster Claw Add-On Kit is a solid addition to the Vedder Holsters roster. It adds a level of function and style that has quickly become a staple for my daily carry. Despite the odd hiccup or two, the pros of this product far outweigh the cons. 🔗Vedder Holsters Charter Arms Holster Claw Add-On Kithttps://preview.redd.it/cvjosu5uxi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=986a098a004c818d195f2b7b88395259b75521ac I've been using the Vedder Holster Claw Add-On Kit for a while now, and let me tell you, it's been a game-changer for my everyday carry. With three claws in hand, I was excited to see how they would enhance my experience with my Vedder Lighttuck holsters. The claw system, once properly installed, does an amazing job of pushing the handle of my firearms closer to my body, minimizing the printing, especially for my smaller firearms like a Kahr CW380. One aspect that could have used some improvement is the lack of a second screw for a more secure attachment, making it difficult to maintain a tight enough grip on my pistol without hindering the draw. Additionally, compatibility with smaller revolvers or light-bearing holsters may not always be consistent, as evident by some of the other reviews I've come across. Despite these minor cons, I'm pleased with my purchase, and the Vedder Holster Claw Add-On Kit has made my concealed-carry experience even smoother and more comfortable. 🔗Ultimate ComfortTac Belly Band Holster for Quickdraw Access and Concealmenthttps://preview.redd.it/7kaf2e6uxi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=244b94d9ab559d87673f484ede77705edda877e7 As a reviewer, I've had the chance to try out the ComfortTac Belly Band Holster in my daily life, and I must say, it's been a game-changer. The holster is designed for deep concealment, and its quickdraw access system allows me to draw my weapon in one smooth motion. The retention strap with the deep concealment buckle is a standout feature that ensures my gun stays secure in its place. One of the things I appreciate most about this holster is its versatility. It fits a variety of gun sizes, making it perfect for those who own multiple firearms. The holster is also versatile enough to be worn in most positions, which means I can use it both under and over clothing. The perforated holes promote less sweating, and the stretchy elastic adjusts to any body type, making it comfortable to wear for extended periods. However, there are a couple of cons I've encountered while using this holster. The built-in pocket is a great feature, but it could be more secure and prevent accidental exposure. Additionally, the removable magazine pouch is handy for quick access to spare rounds, but it can be a bit difficult to use with larger caliber magazines. Overall, the ComfortTac Belly Band Holster is an excellent option for those seeking a comfortable, versatile, and secure way to carry their firearms. With its deep concealment, quickdraw access, and custom fit options, it's no wonder why it's a top-selling holster on the market. 🔗Small of Back Holster for Concealed Carryhttps://preview.redd.it/ncdf49luxi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=54c45e5ac7ecaaea62ddce760a8ffc935527341d As a fellow gun enthusiast, I've been in search of the perfect concealed carry holster for quite some time. That is until I stumbled upon the Palm Out Draw Small of Back Holster by Dara Holsters. This holster is nothing short of a game-changer for all those struggling to find the right one. What stood out to me was the holster's versatility. Despite my body's particular needs, this holster managed to secure my gun in a comfortable position without any hassle. The angle and design of the holster also ensured that the grip was always in reach and the trigger safely covered. It's clear that Dara Holsters put a lot of thought into the positioning of the pistol, making it easier to draw and maintain a balanced stance. However, no product is perfect, and I did find one minor drawback. The clip that holds the holster to my belt was quite stiff, making removing it at the end of the day slightly more difficult. But that doesn't take away from the holster's overall functionality and the fantastic job it does at concealing my weapon. In conclusion, the Palm Out Draw Small of Back Holster by Dara Holsters proved to be an excellent investment. It's not only comfortable and efficient in its job, but its construction also highlights the company's commitment to quality and attention to detail. It may have a bit of a learning curve to get the perfect fit, but once you do, it's smooth sailing. I highly recommend it to anyone in need of a dependable concealed carry holster. 🔗High-Quality Belt Holster for Charter Arms Undercover 2" Barhttps://preview.redd.it/gbjmlsavxi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f67eab1727c25668d6639f3f6e72fb0920a4241e I had the pleasure of trying out the Bianchi 111 Cyclone Belt Holster for my Charter Arms Undercover 2? Bar handgun. As a dedicated gun owner, I always prioritize safety and convenience when it comes to my holsters. This particular holster stood out to me right away. The moment I slid my handgun into the holster, I appreciated the snug fit that it had. The soft and supple leather felt luxurious on my handgun. I loved how it secured my handgun while still allowing me to easily draw it from the holster when needed. One of the best features of this holster was its ability to be worn cross-draw style, which I found to be a great option when spending time in the car. However, there was a bit of a downside. The snug fit that made me feel secure also made it a bit challenging to remove my handgun from the holster. I occasionally had to use extra force to get it out, which might not be ideal for some. Overall, my experience with the Bianchi 111 Cyclone Belt Holster has left me impressed with its level of craftsmanship and comfort. While there might be a slight learning curve when it comes to removing the handgun, the holster's build quality and versatile design make it a worthwhile investment for frequent users. 🔗Custom Kydex Holster for Charter Arms Undercover 38 Specialhttps://preview.redd.it/dzad57hvxi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=075973c942acd4cd6dd2252959a0200ed97935d8 I recently purchased the Charter Arms Custom Kydex Holster for my Charter Arms Undercover 38 Special and was quite impressed with how well it fits my gun. The holster is made from high-quality Kydex material and has a sleek, low-profile design that fits comfortably in my front pocket. The fast draw feature is a great addition, making it easy and quick to access my firearm when needed. One of the standout features of this holster is its customization options, with 12 different colors to choose from. I opted for the black color, which adds a subtle touch of style to my everyday carry. The holster also comes with a 100% no-questions-asked lifetime warranty, giving me peace of mind as I use it. The only slight drawback I encountered was that the holster had a slightly different shape from the product photos. However, this didn't affect its overall functionality, and I soon realized it was because each holster is handmade, which adds to their unique appeal. Overall, I'm very pleased with my purchase and would highly recommend the Charter Arms Custom Kydex Holster for anyone looking for a high-quality, convenient, and stylish way to carry their Charter Arms Undercover 38 Special. 🔗Charter Arms Undercover 38 SPL Revolver Leather OWB Holster - Comfortable and Secure Fithttps://preview.redd.it/3c4b0zkvxi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e81f6054328420d76bc8566fd5422d5909cf075e For the past few weeks, I've been using the Charter Arms Undercover 38 SPL Revolver 2-3 inch Leather OWB Holster in my daily life. This holster has been a game-changer when it comes to carrying my firearm securely while on the go. One of the best features of this holster is its fit. The leather is carefully molded to perfectly fit my specific firearm, providing a comfortable and secure holder. The hand-dressed and burnished edges give it a classic yet stylish look that blends well with my personality. However, there have been a couple of drawbacks. The shipping time did take a bit longer than expected, but it was understandable considering the product's origin. Additionally, I encountered some issues with the warranty process, which required a bit more communication than I would have liked. Overall, the Charter Arms Undercover 38 SPL Revolver 2-3 inch Leather OWB Holster has been a steady companion, providing both security and ease of use during my daily activities. While there have been a few hiccups along the way, the pros definitely outweigh the cons, making it a reliable and stylish option for concealed carry. Buyer's GuideWhen purchasing a holster for your Charter Arms firearm, consider several factors to ensure you make the best choice. Our buyer's guide features crucial aspects to consider, such as material, retention, and concealment. By following these guidelines, you can find a high-quality and functional Charter Arms holster that suits your needs and preferences.Choose the Right Holster Materialhttps://preview.redd.it/lcxkrm7wxi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f9c1b3b1fe7482d8f7791cd1824dddbe9da9a233 There are multiple holster materials to choose from, including leather, Kydex, and nylon. Leather holsters are known for their durability and stylish appearance. Kydex holsters are lightweight, durable, and maintain their shape well. Nylon holsters are cost-effective, but they may not last as long as leather or Kydex. Consider RetentionRetention is essential for a secure holster. It ensures that your firearm stays in place when you need it to, and it prevents accidental discharge. Look for a holster that offers adjustable retention, as this will allow you to fine-tune the level of hold your firearm experiences. Retention methods may include thumb snap locks, locking latches, or passive retention systems.Focus on ConcealmentA concealable holster is crucial for everyday carry as it helps protect your firearm from potential threats. In this regard, consider the holster’s design, such as an inside-the-waistband (IWB) or outside-the-waistband (OWB) configuration. Some holsters also feature concealment clips that help minimize the profile of the holster and its contents. https://preview.redd.it/3s1v4sgwxi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=84a52cd3103f067bbbaea10bbda29617ea65720e Holster CompatibilityBefore committing to a holster, make sure it is compatible with your Charter Arms pistol. Check the holster’s model, brand, or dimensions to ensure it will fit your specific firearm. Some manufacturers provide a list of compatible pistols to simplify this process. It's essential to consider the correct grip width as well.Fit and ComfortA well-fitting holster contributes to your overall comfort. Ensure that the holster is designed for your particular Charter Arms model, as this will ensure a proper fit. Pay attention to any adjustable features that might affect the fit and comfort of the holster. A comfortable holster with proper retention can make a significant difference to your carry experience.Warranty and Customer Supporthttps://preview.redd.it/5eh62gbbyi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aab4fc39c38a752568fcaee4a411f3d49a7d07b8 Before purchasing a Charter Arms holster, consider the warranty and customer support provided by the manufacturer. A reputable company will typically cover their products with a warranty and offer excellent customer support to address any issues or concerns that might arise. When choosing a Charter Arms holster, prioritize features such as material, retention, concealment, compatibility, fit, and comfort. Don't forget about warranty and customer support from the manufacturer. By taking these factors into account, you’ll be well-prepared to find the ideal holster for your Charter Arms firearm and ensure a safe and comfortable carry experience. FAQWhat types of Charter Arms Holsters are available?Charter Arms offers a variety of holsters to suit different preferences and needs, including leather, nylon, and Kydex holsters. They produce holsters for both concealed carry and open carry styles. https://preview.redd.it/8cq13h2byi1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b9062698917874c13900f42ad9c8d98ad520755e Are Charter Arms Holsters compatible with other firearms besides Charter Arms?Yes, Charter Arms Holsters are designed to be compatible with a wide range of firearms. They offer customizable mounts and variations to accommodate different firearms models.What is the quality of Charter Arms Holsters?Charter Arms is known for producing high-quality holsters with attention to detail. They use premium materials and implement durable construction techniques to ensure longevity and reliability.What are the price ranges for Charter Arms Holsters?The pricing for Charter Arms Holsters varies depending on the material, size, and customization options. They offer a range of budget-friendly options as well as premium products for those with a higher budget.Do Charter Arms Holsters come with a warranty?Yes, Charter Arms typically includes a warranty with their holsters to assure customers of the product's quality. The warranty details and duration may vary depending on the specific model.What color options are available for Charter Arms Holsters?Charter Arms Holsters come in various colors to suit individual preferences. They offer both classical, traditional colors such as black, brown, and tan, as well as more contemporary and unique shades.What is the shipping and delivery process for Charter Arms Holsters?The shipping and delivery process for Charter Arms Holsters can vary depending on the seller. Generally, they provide timely shipping with trackable options. The estimated delivery time may depend on the shipping method and destination.How can I be sure that a Charter Arms Holster is a good fit for my firearm?Ensure that you select the appropriate model based on your firearm's make and size. Charter Arms Holsters typically provide detailed dimensions and compatibility charts to help customers make an informed decision. For extra peace of mind, it's always a good idea to speak with a representative from Charter Arms or the seller.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.20 08:21 Travellinglense PRS Dead spec on display at Dead Forever
 | submitted by Travellinglense to JohnMayer [link] [comments] |
2024.05.20 08:20 jennylala707 I was considering BE when the most generous offer ever came my way...
I have a 16 month old GSD/APBT/Husky rescue dog that we adopted a year ago when she was just 4 months old. IDK anything about her history, but when she came to us she was extremely underweight and had drooped hocks.
A month with us and the vet declared her fit as a fiddle. She put on weight and her legs straightened up in that short month.
When she was about 8 months old she started showing more extreme signs of reactivity towards people and animals outside our family, despite our trying to socialize and train her ourselves.
We have 4 kids so we decided to try and rehome her or find her a rescue to help her deal with her issues. But I was very honest about her issues and with shelters and rescues as impacted as they are, no one would or even could take her.
And honestly, we do love her. With our immediate family, including our kids and other dog, she is absolutely the most gentle loving sweet dog. Not one ounce of aggression towards any of us. Like you would never imagine the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde switch this dog does when an "outsider" interferes.
Anyone outside her select few, is met with a barking, snarling, lunging, nipping dog. She had 2 level two bites - but neither left a scratch. Literally her teeth made contact but both people said it didn't hurt.
I had two different dog trainers flake on me and another turned me down without even meeting my dog. I couldn't rehome her either. I didn't want her alone and scared and euthanized in a shelter without me.
So I started researching BE and called around asking vets if they do them bc a lot don't.
I did an anon post on a local facebook group asking if anyone knew a vet that did them, and of course it blew up with a ton of people ripping me a new one, like I'm not already torn up with guilt and sobbing over thinking I have to put my PUPPY down bc her aggression is increasing and NO ONE will help me.
I had two people offer to adopt her from me, but one turned out to be out of state, and one, after speaking to them, I realized they had a kind and generous heart wanting to help my dog, but not realizing what they were getting into - and I felt it would irresponsible of me to rehome her to them.
I had just gotten off an emotional phone call to my local animal shelter asking about BE and asking if I could be with her and they said no. And I was sobbing.
One of the Facebook messages had suggested a specific dog trainer, so I had gone to his website and filled out a request for him to contact me. He commented on the post and told me to contact him so I replied that I had.
Minutes later, still choked up from the phone call with the shelter, I get a phone call, and it's this dog trainer. We talk in depth about my dog and he says he feels confident he can train her and that her problem sounds like something we can correct especially since she is not aggressive towards us at all.
He tells me his intense 2 hr session at my home is $400.
I definitely do not have $400. In my brain I'm trying to come up with ways to get $400 but I had recently missed a lot of work bc my child had been ill for over a week.
I don't tell him any of this - I'm still just listening and in my head thinking of ways to get $400 quick.
This guy, this KING, then offers to do it pro-bono. He asks that in return I blow his name up, so that is what I am doing. I literally sobbed and thanked him.
We booked a session for this Friday. After this intense session and some homework, he has follow up group classes at a local park for $40 each, so you can keep working on skills. Looks like they go about once a month. Which to me seems very reasonable and easily doable!
I'm so beyond grateful and excited to see if we can turn my dog's behavior around. And let her be the amazing dog I know she can be!
Big Shoutout to Ridley K9 Academy!!!!
Thank you for your kind and generous heart!
submitted by jennylala707 to reactivedogs [link] [comments]
A month with us and the vet declared her fit as a fiddle. She put on weight and her legs straightened up in that short month.
When she was about 8 months old she started showing more extreme signs of reactivity towards people and animals outside our family, despite our trying to socialize and train her ourselves.
We have 4 kids so we decided to try and rehome her or find her a rescue to help her deal with her issues. But I was very honest about her issues and with shelters and rescues as impacted as they are, no one would or even could take her.
And honestly, we do love her. With our immediate family, including our kids and other dog, she is absolutely the most gentle loving sweet dog. Not one ounce of aggression towards any of us. Like you would never imagine the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde switch this dog does when an "outsider" interferes.
Anyone outside her select few, is met with a barking, snarling, lunging, nipping dog. She had 2 level two bites - but neither left a scratch. Literally her teeth made contact but both people said it didn't hurt.
I had two different dog trainers flake on me and another turned me down without even meeting my dog. I couldn't rehome her either. I didn't want her alone and scared and euthanized in a shelter without me.
So I started researching BE and called around asking vets if they do them bc a lot don't.
I did an anon post on a local facebook group asking if anyone knew a vet that did them, and of course it blew up with a ton of people ripping me a new one, like I'm not already torn up with guilt and sobbing over thinking I have to put my PUPPY down bc her aggression is increasing and NO ONE will help me.
I had two people offer to adopt her from me, but one turned out to be out of state, and one, after speaking to them, I realized they had a kind and generous heart wanting to help my dog, but not realizing what they were getting into - and I felt it would irresponsible of me to rehome her to them.
I had just gotten off an emotional phone call to my local animal shelter asking about BE and asking if I could be with her and they said no. And I was sobbing.
One of the Facebook messages had suggested a specific dog trainer, so I had gone to his website and filled out a request for him to contact me. He commented on the post and told me to contact him so I replied that I had.
Minutes later, still choked up from the phone call with the shelter, I get a phone call, and it's this dog trainer. We talk in depth about my dog and he says he feels confident he can train her and that her problem sounds like something we can correct especially since she is not aggressive towards us at all.
He tells me his intense 2 hr session at my home is $400.
I definitely do not have $400. In my brain I'm trying to come up with ways to get $400 but I had recently missed a lot of work bc my child had been ill for over a week.
I don't tell him any of this - I'm still just listening and in my head thinking of ways to get $400 quick.
This guy, this KING, then offers to do it pro-bono. He asks that in return I blow his name up, so that is what I am doing. I literally sobbed and thanked him.
We booked a session for this Friday. After this intense session and some homework, he has follow up group classes at a local park for $40 each, so you can keep working on skills. Looks like they go about once a month. Which to me seems very reasonable and easily doable!
I'm so beyond grateful and excited to see if we can turn my dog's behavior around. And let her be the amazing dog I know she can be!
Big Shoutout to Ridley K9 Academy!!!!
Thank you for your kind and generous heart!
2024.05.20 08:20 futurevisioning Was my neighbor hitting on me?
So obviously there is no way to know 100% but I had a fairly awkward encounter this weekend with a neighbor in my building in the garbage area and would appreciate any input.
I was putting away my garbage and recycling in the bins which are in a caged area in the back. I look towards the front of the cage as I’m finishing up and there is a woman grinning at me. Maybe 5 years younger than my mom, 60s. All in black, lots of makeup. I legit get startled. Anyways I open the door to leave the area. She’s standing there with two full bags to throw away and starts a conversation with me. “Isn’t it crazy how much garbage we accumulate? These are bags of food that will go bad bc I’m going on trip” I ask where and she says the destinations. I ask how long and she says for three weeks. I say have a good trip. I’m thinking convo over. There is an awkward pause and she says “my name is Sandy”. I say my name. She then asks what floor I’m on after saying she’s on floor 2. I tell her my suite #. “Oh I knew the people who used to live there” I told her those were my grandparents. I feel she got the suite # wrong lol.
Anyways it was some weird energy. It felt like she was looking for the conversation to continue while I was taking steps to wrap it up. I realized later I’ve talked to her in elevator before briefly a long time ago. Hard to tell if she is just socially awkward or if she was trying to build rapport for other reason. I live with my partner now so I am not looking for anything. But I wonder if I should be cautious given the interaction to not raise any expectations with Sandy if we run into each other again. Or maybe I’m wildly off base here and am making way too many assumptions.
submitted by futurevisioning to socialskills [link] [comments]
I was putting away my garbage and recycling in the bins which are in a caged area in the back. I look towards the front of the cage as I’m finishing up and there is a woman grinning at me. Maybe 5 years younger than my mom, 60s. All in black, lots of makeup. I legit get startled. Anyways I open the door to leave the area. She’s standing there with two full bags to throw away and starts a conversation with me. “Isn’t it crazy how much garbage we accumulate? These are bags of food that will go bad bc I’m going on trip” I ask where and she says the destinations. I ask how long and she says for three weeks. I say have a good trip. I’m thinking convo over. There is an awkward pause and she says “my name is Sandy”. I say my name. She then asks what floor I’m on after saying she’s on floor 2. I tell her my suite #. “Oh I knew the people who used to live there” I told her those were my grandparents. I feel she got the suite # wrong lol.
Anyways it was some weird energy. It felt like she was looking for the conversation to continue while I was taking steps to wrap it up. I realized later I’ve talked to her in elevator before briefly a long time ago. Hard to tell if she is just socially awkward or if she was trying to build rapport for other reason. I live with my partner now so I am not looking for anything. But I wonder if I should be cautious given the interaction to not raise any expectations with Sandy if we run into each other again. Or maybe I’m wildly off base here and am making way too many assumptions.
2024.05.20 08:19 BronyRick i just snorted some Niacin and realized something...
Earth Tour is approximately the same length as the entire Lord Of The Rings trilogy (extended editions). This must be a clue!
submitted by BronyRick to horsetheband [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 08:17 Jstar338 Ranking the True Org deaths in 3
1: Vanitas. Something about that speech is just... there. The way HJO delivers lines as Vanitas is so good man. It gives more on the relationship between light and darkness too
2: Xion. subverted bitches, not #1. I love the character of Xion, and having her come back and be the replacement Guardian is so nice. and Roxas comes back
3: Xemnas. You can almost feel bad for him, realizing that he might even regret all the pain Sora through.
4: Ansem. goodbye evil dad, we'll miss you.
5: Terranort. Not a huge BBS fan so this doesn't hit as hard, but even I know this is fantastic
6: Dark Riku. Repliku getting redeemed at the end is a nice ending, and his goals never truly changed.
7: Saix. this is getting hard. Nice to get backstory that some people didnt know
8: Xehanort. whatever it's just the end of it, sure he wanted to save the world but he's still a douche
9: YX salty little gamer boy
10: Luxord. The dynamic between Luxord and Sora has always been strong
11: Marluxia. same as Larxene, just better
12: Larxene. Not super fun, but again, she'll probably come back to some degree
13: Probably Xigy. It wasn't meant to be super cool or climactic, since his time will come later
submitted by Jstar338 to KingdomHearts [link] [comments]
2: Xion. subverted bitches, not #1. I love the character of Xion, and having her come back and be the replacement Guardian is so nice. and Roxas comes back
3: Xemnas. You can almost feel bad for him, realizing that he might even regret all the pain Sora through.
4: Ansem. goodbye evil dad, we'll miss you.
5: Terranort. Not a huge BBS fan so this doesn't hit as hard, but even I know this is fantastic
6: Dark Riku. Repliku getting redeemed at the end is a nice ending, and his goals never truly changed.
7: Saix. this is getting hard. Nice to get backstory that some people didnt know
8: Xehanort. whatever it's just the end of it, sure he wanted to save the world but he's still a douche
9: YX salty little gamer boy
10: Luxord. The dynamic between Luxord and Sora has always been strong
11: Marluxia. same as Larxene, just better
12: Larxene. Not super fun, but again, she'll probably come back to some degree
13: Probably Xigy. It wasn't meant to be super cool or climactic, since his time will come later
2024.05.20 08:17 Haunting_Sale1858 I have no idea how my mom didn’t know something was up
I didn’t realize something was wrong with me until I started College at 18 (homeschooled my whole life because of family stuff). I never developed any coping mechanisms because I always did my work at the last minute and for test I would cram the night before. That was normal to me. I didn’t even study for my college entrance exam because I struggled with studying. I would get task paralysis and my mind would just go blank. I somehow scored high enough to not take any remedial classes.
I cruised through freshman and sophomore year of college until junior and senior year. My gpa started dropping because cramming was not working anymore. I graduated last year and now getting my masters and writing a thesis. I am still struggling even though I am on meds now.
I’m not sure how my mom never noticed something was up. I was with her 24/7.
My mother made sure to I read a lot. She would test me on books, but I did terrible because I would just read the words but never process it. We would spend hours going back over lessons plans that I was taught before because I would forget how to do it. Math was the worse, she was going to hold me back a grade.
I had many crying sessions and tear stained homework . I used to hit myself because I couldn’t understand simple stuff. She would ask me what was wrong with me and yell at me. I hated it.
I guess because I wasn’t the jumping and running around type? I never did that because I knew I would get in trouble for acting out.
Anytime I was faced with homework that was difficult I would day dream and draw pictures, chew on my pencils, paper or eraser ( realize I was stimming now). I would get yelled at for staring off into space. Always told I move too slow, I need to work harder, I need to listen more and follow directions (terrible at verbal directions). Extremely disorganized room always a mess. I didn’t realize I used to mouth peoples words when I was little either would get yelled at for that.
Also sensitivity to smells ( any time I smelled something I didn’t like I would gag), clothing: I hated turtle necks, scarves, hats, the puffer coats (the noise sends me into a completely rage) and when the line of my socks wouldn’t match up. Getting my hair done eugh the worse.
I’m glad I was able to figure out what was wrong , I thought I was stupid my whole life. I still hold that feeling sometimes.
Anyone experience the same?
submitted by Haunting_Sale1858 to adhdwomen [link] [comments]
I cruised through freshman and sophomore year of college until junior and senior year. My gpa started dropping because cramming was not working anymore. I graduated last year and now getting my masters and writing a thesis. I am still struggling even though I am on meds now.
I’m not sure how my mom never noticed something was up. I was with her 24/7.
My mother made sure to I read a lot. She would test me on books, but I did terrible because I would just read the words but never process it. We would spend hours going back over lessons plans that I was taught before because I would forget how to do it. Math was the worse, she was going to hold me back a grade.
I had many crying sessions and tear stained homework . I used to hit myself because I couldn’t understand simple stuff. She would ask me what was wrong with me and yell at me. I hated it.
I guess because I wasn’t the jumping and running around type? I never did that because I knew I would get in trouble for acting out.
Anytime I was faced with homework that was difficult I would day dream and draw pictures, chew on my pencils, paper or eraser ( realize I was stimming now). I would get yelled at for staring off into space. Always told I move too slow, I need to work harder, I need to listen more and follow directions (terrible at verbal directions). Extremely disorganized room always a mess. I didn’t realize I used to mouth peoples words when I was little either would get yelled at for that.
Also sensitivity to smells ( any time I smelled something I didn’t like I would gag), clothing: I hated turtle necks, scarves, hats, the puffer coats (the noise sends me into a completely rage) and when the line of my socks wouldn’t match up. Getting my hair done eugh the worse.
I’m glad I was able to figure out what was wrong , I thought I was stupid my whole life. I still hold that feeling sometimes.
Anyone experience the same?
2024.05.20 08:16 thinebanned He can’t handle the heat. He’s getting a MOD.
 | He is hiding. Trying to deal with his newfound fame and all the hate he’s getting. Everything that he’s getting he brought upon himself, just like Nika. submitted by thinebanned to AnyOneCanChange [link] [comments] I’m starting to realize that he probably deserved to be tossed out. Not defending her of course but this guy is obnoxious. He failed to help one person on his channel for real. Actually really helped that person. And he failed. And now he’s crying. |
2024.05.20 08:16 LostMind420 Are these symptoms of DID I'm experiencing?
Disclaimer- I am planning to talk to a doctor or therapist about this soon but thought I'd ask those who already have been diagnosed have have the same experiences/symptoms
So I've been suspecting if I really do have DID, I've been doing excessive research on dissociative identity disorder after hearing about it and been relating to others experiences, I've been closely monitoring myself more recently I've realized I tend to loose a lot of time and not remembering multiple days in a row occasionally, I can tell there's others like I'm not spending time alone with myself. There would be times where I'd zone out, almost like sitting in school listening to a long lecture, but it would be different where i would zone out and then come back either doing something else, in a whole different room, or just waking up when I know I was just awake playing a game or talking to someone. I've also noticed myself almost slipping from conversations, where mid sentence I'd just stop- like everything in my head that I was just thinking about basically gets memory wiped and it usually takes me a good minute to recollect myself and remember what I was just talking about even asking the person what I just said. There's a lot more I could say but these are the main things I notice basically all the time.
submitted by LostMind420 to DID [link] [comments]
So I've been suspecting if I really do have DID, I've been doing excessive research on dissociative identity disorder after hearing about it and been relating to others experiences, I've been closely monitoring myself more recently I've realized I tend to loose a lot of time and not remembering multiple days in a row occasionally, I can tell there's others like I'm not spending time alone with myself. There would be times where I'd zone out, almost like sitting in school listening to a long lecture, but it would be different where i would zone out and then come back either doing something else, in a whole different room, or just waking up when I know I was just awake playing a game or talking to someone. I've also noticed myself almost slipping from conversations, where mid sentence I'd just stop- like everything in my head that I was just thinking about basically gets memory wiped and it usually takes me a good minute to recollect myself and remember what I was just talking about even asking the person what I just said. There's a lot more I could say but these are the main things I notice basically all the time.
2024.05.20 08:16 Wacky_Does_Art I have ruined art for myself and it has been damaging my mental health
I know literally nobody is going to see this, but I just want to finally be honest because I've been lying to myself and others for years.
For years I've tried centering my life around drawing, it's the only thing that makes me feel like I have purpose. But I'm starting to realize that I haven't been drawing because I want to, but because it brings me attention and validation from others. I've been drawing for about 6 years now and can't remember the last time I just drew for the sake of drawing. I always do it to impress myself or others otherwise I feel meaningless. I try to act like a better artist than I am, which inevitably leaves me frustrated when I just can't draw something. I compare myself to literally everyone around me and always feel like I'm just not good enough and never will be, I'll never be the artist that I want to be.
For the past year I have been constantly forcing myself to draw when I can't or know I don't want to, just so I can feel validated by my friends and strangers online. I've centered my whole identify on drawing to fill an empty void in my life, to feel like I matter, and I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not and I'm tired of making art with no passion just to impress people. I don't want to stop making art, but I dont know what else to do or how to fix this. I've tried taking breaks, several times, and it's never worked. I don't know what to do, and I'm sorry to everyone I've lied to, I'm not a real artist. I'm sorry Ban.
submitted by Wacky_Does_Art to u/Wacky_Does_Art [link] [comments]
For years I've tried centering my life around drawing, it's the only thing that makes me feel like I have purpose. But I'm starting to realize that I haven't been drawing because I want to, but because it brings me attention and validation from others. I've been drawing for about 6 years now and can't remember the last time I just drew for the sake of drawing. I always do it to impress myself or others otherwise I feel meaningless. I try to act like a better artist than I am, which inevitably leaves me frustrated when I just can't draw something. I compare myself to literally everyone around me and always feel like I'm just not good enough and never will be, I'll never be the artist that I want to be.
For the past year I have been constantly forcing myself to draw when I can't or know I don't want to, just so I can feel validated by my friends and strangers online. I've centered my whole identify on drawing to fill an empty void in my life, to feel like I matter, and I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not and I'm tired of making art with no passion just to impress people. I don't want to stop making art, but I dont know what else to do or how to fix this. I've tried taking breaks, several times, and it's never worked. I don't know what to do, and I'm sorry to everyone I've lied to, I'm not a real artist. I'm sorry Ban.
2024.05.20 08:14 xnasty I desperately need a nudge for what to do next
Basically, I rolled credits, have 36 eggs, the lantern, top, b. bubble wand, remote, UV lantern, ball, yoyo, disc, slinky, whistle. I opened the door to the house. I am now at a complete utter loss for what to even do with as much of the map uncovered as I can see.
Everywhere I look runs the risk of just spoiling literally everything in the game for me but it's making me feel far too dumb to see the clues for where to go so I need someone to help me get the ball rolling again. I'm realizing so many things I probably saw in the game that I never marked down and now I don't have any clue where they are.
submitted by xnasty to animalWell [link] [comments]
Everywhere I look runs the risk of just spoiling literally everything in the game for me but it's making me feel far too dumb to see the clues for where to go so I need someone to help me get the ball rolling again. I'm realizing so many things I probably saw in the game that I never marked down and now I don't have any clue where they are.
2024.05.20 08:14 123choco123 I (21M) am still in love with my ex (21F), should I keep pursuing her?
I 21M dated my ex 21F for almost two years. Prior to this we knew each other for about half a year but never dated due to being unable to visit each other in person. After a year of not talking to each other, we reconnected and hit it off just like before and started dating.
Our relationship was great. We were madly in love and did everything for each other. There were no red flags, we would rarely argue and both wanted a future together. However, her parents come from India and are very traditional and strict. My background is Pakistani so her parents would absolutely not approve of the relationship.
Back in January we had to plan for our future together as she was going to graduate college while I was going into my senior year. She told me that by continuing a relationship with me, she would likely end up losing and hurting her parents. Her parents would be ostracized in their community and would likely disown my ex. It was either her family or me. She chose her family.
The breakup was amicable and ended on good terms as we were both aware of the situation and didn't end things because there were any problems itself in our relationship, but rather the situation our relationship was placed in.
We decided to go no contact, however this was broken a few times (only through text never in person). At first things were rough for me and I spiraled pretty bad. Over time I was able to come to terms with things and make peace with losing her while growing as an individual. Recently I wanted to catch up with her as next year she goes to graduate school, so it would likely be the last time to see her. I figured it would be cathartic and nice to reconnect. My intentions were solely to just catch up, nothing more. Yesterday we met and did just that. We talked about how the breakup affected us, our future plans, and other random things. I felt as if she was dropping hints that she wanted to hookup and she even invited me to her room in her apartment. Being afraid of doing something immature, I told her I was going to leave and that was that.
This is where I fuck up and am now lost. That evening I met up with some friends and we went out to eat. I got a little a drunk and later at night, even with all my friends telling me I shouldn't, I decided to text her and ask if she wanted to hang out later. The alcohol really got the best of me. Once sober enough to drive, I went over to her place and we hooked up. I know emotions were running high, especially with sex involved, but we told each other we still loved and missed each other. She has told me numerous times including last night that if it wasn't for the situation with her parents, she would still want to be with me. I realized last night that I never fell out of love with my ex, rather, I had just made peace and had accepted the situation at hand. Obviously there were aspects of the relationship I didn't like, but I really feel as if she is my person. My ex is here for all summer then moves away for graduate school in the fall. Would it be bad to keep asking her to hang out and pursue her? I just feel so helpless and lost. I have always felt so in love with her and she has consistently expressed the same, yet it feels as if there is no right option. Is it fair to dismiss her expression of love towards me since she chose her family over me? I mean, it's her family right??? She is likely going to get an arranged marriage now with someone her parents approve of.
TL;DR : Broke up with ex because her parents didn't approve of the relationship, recently reconnected and hooked up, she moves away soon, not sure if I should keep pursuing her and hanging out.
submitted by 123choco123 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Our relationship was great. We were madly in love and did everything for each other. There were no red flags, we would rarely argue and both wanted a future together. However, her parents come from India and are very traditional and strict. My background is Pakistani so her parents would absolutely not approve of the relationship.
Back in January we had to plan for our future together as she was going to graduate college while I was going into my senior year. She told me that by continuing a relationship with me, she would likely end up losing and hurting her parents. Her parents would be ostracized in their community and would likely disown my ex. It was either her family or me. She chose her family.
The breakup was amicable and ended on good terms as we were both aware of the situation and didn't end things because there were any problems itself in our relationship, but rather the situation our relationship was placed in.
We decided to go no contact, however this was broken a few times (only through text never in person). At first things were rough for me and I spiraled pretty bad. Over time I was able to come to terms with things and make peace with losing her while growing as an individual. Recently I wanted to catch up with her as next year she goes to graduate school, so it would likely be the last time to see her. I figured it would be cathartic and nice to reconnect. My intentions were solely to just catch up, nothing more. Yesterday we met and did just that. We talked about how the breakup affected us, our future plans, and other random things. I felt as if she was dropping hints that she wanted to hookup and she even invited me to her room in her apartment. Being afraid of doing something immature, I told her I was going to leave and that was that.
This is where I fuck up and am now lost. That evening I met up with some friends and we went out to eat. I got a little a drunk and later at night, even with all my friends telling me I shouldn't, I decided to text her and ask if she wanted to hang out later. The alcohol really got the best of me. Once sober enough to drive, I went over to her place and we hooked up. I know emotions were running high, especially with sex involved, but we told each other we still loved and missed each other. She has told me numerous times including last night that if it wasn't for the situation with her parents, she would still want to be with me. I realized last night that I never fell out of love with my ex, rather, I had just made peace and had accepted the situation at hand. Obviously there were aspects of the relationship I didn't like, but I really feel as if she is my person. My ex is here for all summer then moves away for graduate school in the fall. Would it be bad to keep asking her to hang out and pursue her? I just feel so helpless and lost. I have always felt so in love with her and she has consistently expressed the same, yet it feels as if there is no right option. Is it fair to dismiss her expression of love towards me since she chose her family over me? I mean, it's her family right??? She is likely going to get an arranged marriage now with someone her parents approve of.
TL;DR : Broke up with ex because her parents didn't approve of the relationship, recently reconnected and hooked up, she moves away soon, not sure if I should keep pursuing her and hanging out.
2024.05.20 08:14 DoctorBibonic Peer Pressure
It's stuck in my mind, trapped and buried in the deepest regions, only to resurface when my mind wonders. I'll be on the brink of sleep, drifting off when the haunting memories return to me. It was to become a man they told me, but it simply made me less of a human.
Decades ago, the summer heat rained down on our small town in Texas. The only safety for the younglings was the shade of trees as our parents forced us outside til the dinner bell rang. School was out, and there was almost nothing to do. Worse of all, my parents refused to take me to the local pool, citing health concerns.
Alas, there was a saving grace. Within the roughly 50-acre plot of forest at the end of the culdesac resided a sprawling stream system. Most of it was muddy or sandy with shallow water, but a specific section sported a large rocky cliff and up to neck-high depths.
I remember the first time I saw him. Rumors and gossip were all I had known at the time. Tales that his eyes stared blankly, the way he acted like a toddler, and his limping gait. I'll admit that most were lies, but the first was most definitely true.
At a gas station, I eyed a candy bar to my right. I almost went to ask my mother for it before I felt a sensation of being watched. Turning to face the people ahead of us in the line, I caught his gaze. His brown eyes stared into mine, still and unmoving.
It was a quick encounter, his mother finalizing the purchase and leaving with him. He stared as he walked out the door, continuing til he was placed into the beaten red truck. Even though it was a short encounter, I already felt the weird feelings the others described.
Laying in my bed, I couldn't help but to think about his stare. It was almost as if there wasn't a mind behind those eyes, simply the shell of a person. The next day, I sat in the living room playing with my action figures. Suddenly a knock rang out from the front door, and I quickly made my way to open it.
Jake and Ethan stood in front of me. They were barely older, but at that age, it made all the difference. I considered myself the luckiest boy in the world to be able to play with older kids, even if the age gap was only a year.
"We're gonna go to the hole, wanna come?" Jake said enthusiastically. He was the leader of our little trio, his ideas of what to do clashing with the boredom of summer.
Enthusiastically I agreed. And quickly after that, I slid on my already tied shoes, following them as we began down the street. Just a minute after leaving the house, I already wished that I didn't. The heat was severe, made worse by the almost zero humidity. I couldn't wait to submerge myself into the refreshing waters of the creek.
Suddenly a bang erupted from the yard to my right, and my head instantly shifted in that direction. The boy was out there, a stick in his hand striking one of the large pines on their property.
Upon noticing me, his arms went limp, his eyes trailing me. Thinking back now, it was obvious that he wasn't smart. He probably had some type of learning disability, autism, or something. I'm not a doctor, but he simply wasn't like the rest of us, and that was why he was outcasted by the kids of the neighborhood.
That didn't matter though, the boy never left his yard. After we came back, our boxers drenched, I saw him attempt to follow me. A shout came from the open window, and the boy stopped, turning and beginning to make his way to the front door. I never saw his father, though, I wouldn't blame him if he packed his bags and left.
The day it happened was humid. Jake and Ethan had invited me to go play at the hole, and I gratefully accepted. As we made our way to the tree line, I noticed the boy hiding behind his tree, a large stick in his hand. Paying no attention, we continued forward, pushing through the thick undergrowth. As we walked, I began to hear what sounded like a set of footsteps behind us. Though every time I turned my head, I would see nothing.
"Do you guys hear something?" I questioned, the others stopping to examine me.
"Are you really scared of the woods?" Ethan asked, a smile on his face.
"What?! No!" I rebuttled as they laughed. Both of them began to walk forward, and after a final glance behind, I followed.
Suddenly he appeared in front of us, his stance wide as he held the stick like a baseball bat. I let out a scream as he jumped out, settling down after I realized it was just simply him.
"What does this idiot want?" Jake questioned, watching as the boy began to approach.
Suddenly and without warning, he began to charge toward us. Jake backed up a little bit, as no matter the age or size of someone, a boy wielding a stick is terrifying, especially when you don't have one yourself. Turning tail, we began to flee, hopping over logs and stones as the boy gave chase.
After a minute of running, Jake skidded to a stop. We were atop the peak of the cliff, around a twenty-foot drop. Rumors of a child jumping off into the water and surviving was prevalent at the time, but none attempted to recreate it.
He approached from behind as we turned in unison. Taking the role of our protector, Jake stepped in front, ready for a fight. The boy slowly stepped forward, his pace steady with intent, and his eyes locked onto Jake. His jaw was limp and open, an obvious stain where drool sept out.
It was quick. It was just so quick. The boy rushed forward, swinging and hitting Jake in the side. He was weak though, and Jake was strong. Grabbing hold of his shirt, he spun him around, sending him flying off the cliff. I heard three impacts, the last one being a splash of water.
Peering over the edge, I stared at his limp body at the bottom of the cliff. The water around him was tinted red, his landing pad being a thin layer of water with sharp rocks under the surface. Glancing at each other wearily, we left, abandoning the crime scene.
When his mother realized her little boy was nowhere to be seen, she called the police. The search efforts were halted by a ravenous storm. His body was carried five miles down the stream, eventually catching onto a fallen tree. By the time a hiker found him, he was barely recognizable.
Animals had feasted– NO! After all these years, I can't even tell the truth. No no no. I need to say it, I need to SAY IT! After he fell, we made our way down, approaching his mangled body. He was gasping for air whilst crying. His jaw was crooked, blood seeping out of a wound on his forehead.
He must've broken his back because he didn't move much. His eyes, oh god his eyes. They stared into mine, wide and terrified. They... They made me do it. It wasn't my choice it was... It wasn't me! I wish I could go back, I wish I could fix things. They made me do it, THEY MADE ME DO IT...
They made me pick up a rock.
submitted by DoctorBibonic to nosleep [link] [comments]
Decades ago, the summer heat rained down on our small town in Texas. The only safety for the younglings was the shade of trees as our parents forced us outside til the dinner bell rang. School was out, and there was almost nothing to do. Worse of all, my parents refused to take me to the local pool, citing health concerns.
Alas, there was a saving grace. Within the roughly 50-acre plot of forest at the end of the culdesac resided a sprawling stream system. Most of it was muddy or sandy with shallow water, but a specific section sported a large rocky cliff and up to neck-high depths.
I remember the first time I saw him. Rumors and gossip were all I had known at the time. Tales that his eyes stared blankly, the way he acted like a toddler, and his limping gait. I'll admit that most were lies, but the first was most definitely true.
At a gas station, I eyed a candy bar to my right. I almost went to ask my mother for it before I felt a sensation of being watched. Turning to face the people ahead of us in the line, I caught his gaze. His brown eyes stared into mine, still and unmoving.
It was a quick encounter, his mother finalizing the purchase and leaving with him. He stared as he walked out the door, continuing til he was placed into the beaten red truck. Even though it was a short encounter, I already felt the weird feelings the others described.
Laying in my bed, I couldn't help but to think about his stare. It was almost as if there wasn't a mind behind those eyes, simply the shell of a person. The next day, I sat in the living room playing with my action figures. Suddenly a knock rang out from the front door, and I quickly made my way to open it.
Jake and Ethan stood in front of me. They were barely older, but at that age, it made all the difference. I considered myself the luckiest boy in the world to be able to play with older kids, even if the age gap was only a year.
"We're gonna go to the hole, wanna come?" Jake said enthusiastically. He was the leader of our little trio, his ideas of what to do clashing with the boredom of summer.
Enthusiastically I agreed. And quickly after that, I slid on my already tied shoes, following them as we began down the street. Just a minute after leaving the house, I already wished that I didn't. The heat was severe, made worse by the almost zero humidity. I couldn't wait to submerge myself into the refreshing waters of the creek.
Suddenly a bang erupted from the yard to my right, and my head instantly shifted in that direction. The boy was out there, a stick in his hand striking one of the large pines on their property.
Upon noticing me, his arms went limp, his eyes trailing me. Thinking back now, it was obvious that he wasn't smart. He probably had some type of learning disability, autism, or something. I'm not a doctor, but he simply wasn't like the rest of us, and that was why he was outcasted by the kids of the neighborhood.
That didn't matter though, the boy never left his yard. After we came back, our boxers drenched, I saw him attempt to follow me. A shout came from the open window, and the boy stopped, turning and beginning to make his way to the front door. I never saw his father, though, I wouldn't blame him if he packed his bags and left.
The day it happened was humid. Jake and Ethan had invited me to go play at the hole, and I gratefully accepted. As we made our way to the tree line, I noticed the boy hiding behind his tree, a large stick in his hand. Paying no attention, we continued forward, pushing through the thick undergrowth. As we walked, I began to hear what sounded like a set of footsteps behind us. Though every time I turned my head, I would see nothing.
"Do you guys hear something?" I questioned, the others stopping to examine me.
"Are you really scared of the woods?" Ethan asked, a smile on his face.
"What?! No!" I rebuttled as they laughed. Both of them began to walk forward, and after a final glance behind, I followed.
Suddenly he appeared in front of us, his stance wide as he held the stick like a baseball bat. I let out a scream as he jumped out, settling down after I realized it was just simply him.
"What does this idiot want?" Jake questioned, watching as the boy began to approach.
Suddenly and without warning, he began to charge toward us. Jake backed up a little bit, as no matter the age or size of someone, a boy wielding a stick is terrifying, especially when you don't have one yourself. Turning tail, we began to flee, hopping over logs and stones as the boy gave chase.
After a minute of running, Jake skidded to a stop. We were atop the peak of the cliff, around a twenty-foot drop. Rumors of a child jumping off into the water and surviving was prevalent at the time, but none attempted to recreate it.
He approached from behind as we turned in unison. Taking the role of our protector, Jake stepped in front, ready for a fight. The boy slowly stepped forward, his pace steady with intent, and his eyes locked onto Jake. His jaw was limp and open, an obvious stain where drool sept out.
It was quick. It was just so quick. The boy rushed forward, swinging and hitting Jake in the side. He was weak though, and Jake was strong. Grabbing hold of his shirt, he spun him around, sending him flying off the cliff. I heard three impacts, the last one being a splash of water.
Peering over the edge, I stared at his limp body at the bottom of the cliff. The water around him was tinted red, his landing pad being a thin layer of water with sharp rocks under the surface. Glancing at each other wearily, we left, abandoning the crime scene.
When his mother realized her little boy was nowhere to be seen, she called the police. The search efforts were halted by a ravenous storm. His body was carried five miles down the stream, eventually catching onto a fallen tree. By the time a hiker found him, he was barely recognizable.
Animals had feasted– NO! After all these years, I can't even tell the truth. No no no. I need to say it, I need to SAY IT! After he fell, we made our way down, approaching his mangled body. He was gasping for air whilst crying. His jaw was crooked, blood seeping out of a wound on his forehead.
He must've broken his back because he didn't move much. His eyes, oh god his eyes. They stared into mine, wide and terrified. They... They made me do it. It wasn't my choice it was... It wasn't me! I wish I could go back, I wish I could fix things. They made me do it, THEY MADE ME DO IT...
They made me pick up a rock.
2024.05.20 08:14 Away-Variety-5 Help needed, CC stopped working after messing around with subtitles
Hallo, I'm a new creator, and after receiving some comments regarding subtitles, I tried to mess around with that menu just to see how it works, just to seeee
So I added the wrong language as the video subtitle, freaked out and then realized how to change the video language back to mine (pt-br)
But now CC stopped working for those videos I messed around with.
update:
I then changed the language to "none", or "irrelevant", for the subtitle count to go to 0 and be like the videos that still have a working CC, but it didn't work
How do I fix this? Any idea? If you mess with that menu CCs are just gone 5ever?
submitted by Away-Variety-5 to NewTubers [link] [comments]
So I added the wrong language as the video subtitle, freaked out and then realized how to change the video language back to mine (pt-br)
But now CC stopped working for those videos I messed around with.
update:
I then changed the language to "none", or "irrelevant", for the subtitle count to go to 0 and be like the videos that still have a working CC, but it didn't work
How do I fix this? Any idea? If you mess with that menu CCs are just gone 5ever?
2024.05.20 08:13 pandr3a I think this is the first ex I hate
It’s 2 am and I cannot sleep. I have to vent - realized that I hate my ex. We broke up a month ago and have spent the past three weeks crying and blaming myself for our breakup. All of my friends were telling me, “I think you should be mad.” But I genuinely thought I was too much of a lover girl to ever be mad at an ex. I wish them all well.
But the anger just hit me. I think I was holding it down, trying to let it go, but holy shit. He was a terrible partner. Cold, unaffectionate. I was begging for crumbs the entire relationship while treating him so well. How we broke up? I was planning on surprising him with his favorite meal and asked four times for dinner plans. He ended up standing me up for dining plans with a friend. I got mad and sent him a text telling him how I felt. No response for 8 hours and he randomly walked into my room and gave me the coldest breakup I had ever had. Nothing behind his eyes as he told me I was emotionally exhausting and we were incompatible.
I blamed myself for caring so much and for being too intense (I wasn’t). This man had serious communication issues, and I highly doubt he ever liked me in the first place. He was the one who asked for the relationship, was the first to say ily, but just so unloving?? I definitely had problems in the relationship (past trauma I communicated), but dammit I’m so sick of feeling bad!! I found out today Someone in his frat apparently asked my best friend to set him up with someone. And I think it just finally hit me. Guy probably didn’t reflect at all on this relationship. Fully used me up, spit me out. Will 100% have communication problems in his next relationship. And if he doesn’t? I pray for the unlucky wife of his who asks for breadcrumbs of his attention.
submitted by pandr3a to BreakUps [link] [comments]
But the anger just hit me. I think I was holding it down, trying to let it go, but holy shit. He was a terrible partner. Cold, unaffectionate. I was begging for crumbs the entire relationship while treating him so well. How we broke up? I was planning on surprising him with his favorite meal and asked four times for dinner plans. He ended up standing me up for dining plans with a friend. I got mad and sent him a text telling him how I felt. No response for 8 hours and he randomly walked into my room and gave me the coldest breakup I had ever had. Nothing behind his eyes as he told me I was emotionally exhausting and we were incompatible.
I blamed myself for caring so much and for being too intense (I wasn’t). This man had serious communication issues, and I highly doubt he ever liked me in the first place. He was the one who asked for the relationship, was the first to say ily, but just so unloving?? I definitely had problems in the relationship (past trauma I communicated), but dammit I’m so sick of feeling bad!! I found out today Someone in his frat apparently asked my best friend to set him up with someone. And I think it just finally hit me. Guy probably didn’t reflect at all on this relationship. Fully used me up, spit me out. Will 100% have communication problems in his next relationship. And if he doesn’t? I pray for the unlucky wife of his who asks for breadcrumbs of his attention.
2024.05.20 08:12 Rz_27 Confused about my sexuality
I think I might be bi, but it's really confusing. I always knew I was into girls ever since kindergarten. But up until I moved away for college I was only seeing guys. Then in college I experimented with girls and realized that for the past three years l've only been seeing girls and have felt so put off by guys. So I started thinking maybe I'm just into girls.
But what really confuses me is that I'm into guys sexually but not emotionally. Like the idea of dating a man makes me so uncomfortable, I see it more of a platonic relationship. On the other hand I’m into girls emotionally and somewhat sexually. Like I would want to be with a woman but I know sexually it’s not as fulfilling as being with a man. I'm not sure if this is something I need to work on or if it's just who I am. I know I have my whole life ahead of me but I feel so out of place because when I talk to other bi people, they don't seem to relate to my experience.
submitted by Rz_27 to bisexualadults [link] [comments]
But what really confuses me is that I'm into guys sexually but not emotionally. Like the idea of dating a man makes me so uncomfortable, I see it more of a platonic relationship. On the other hand I’m into girls emotionally and somewhat sexually. Like I would want to be with a woman but I know sexually it’s not as fulfilling as being with a man. I'm not sure if this is something I need to work on or if it's just who I am. I know I have my whole life ahead of me but I feel so out of place because when I talk to other bi people, they don't seem to relate to my experience.
2024.05.20 08:11 PTSDisney Today is my birthday
Well, it ended like two hours ago, but anyways. This was supposed to be a happy cheerful day. Because of trauma and “trauma anniversary” my birthday has been awful for 6 years. Last year I started healing mentally and my birthday was finally happy, after 6 very painful years, it was a good one.
I was expecting this year to be the same or even better! My boyfriend came to my country to visit me and spent my birthday with him. My first time celebrating my birthday with him in person (last year he was at his country at the time but came a week later).
But it wasn’t. I kept self sabotaging. On Saturday we had a family lunch with cousins and all and then dinner to wait until midnight. We went to this nice restaurant with my family and I was very excited! But for some reason that excitement disappeared. There was this specific dessert I’ve been wanting from this place, and I would not order it, just because I didn’t feel I deserve it. Or maybe I wanted them to realize I wasn’t okay?
The night was sad. My boyfriend tried to make me smile when we got back to the place he’s staying, but I just couldn’t. And Sunday I kept feeling sad and I feel so so lonely. Which I know is not fair. I have my family and my boyfriend and I know they love me. But I feel lonely still. And I feel guilty about it.
We also had dinner plans for Sunday night. We were supposed to go to this fancy restaurant which I’ve been wanting to go for years! This was the opportunity. But then I told my boyfriend to not go and just order something, though I truly wanted to go.
The day was so pretty and I wanted to go for a walk, but I stayed, though I know I was missing this opportunity to exercise (which I need) in a sunny but not hot day. It would’ve been perfect.
We watched a movie with my boyfriend and I kept being sad during the whole movie.
The worst part is that he feels guilty. F*ck. He couldn’t make me happier. I love this man and I know all the effort he puts on me. He’s so patient and caring. I LOVE HIM. I tried to explain him that I wasn’t sad because of anything he did or not but he still seemed disappointed at himself, and that breaks me. If he was in his country instead of being at my side right now, my day would’ve been hundreds times worse.
I’m feeling so guilty and so ashamed of how I’ve been feeling on the weekend. The past weeks I’ve been doing pretty great mentally so this really caught my out of guard.
I’m so so so sad and I’m hating myself really bad
sorry for the long post. I appreciate your time reading it
submitted by PTSDisney to BPD [link] [comments]
I was expecting this year to be the same or even better! My boyfriend came to my country to visit me and spent my birthday with him. My first time celebrating my birthday with him in person (last year he was at his country at the time but came a week later).
But it wasn’t. I kept self sabotaging. On Saturday we had a family lunch with cousins and all and then dinner to wait until midnight. We went to this nice restaurant with my family and I was very excited! But for some reason that excitement disappeared. There was this specific dessert I’ve been wanting from this place, and I would not order it, just because I didn’t feel I deserve it. Or maybe I wanted them to realize I wasn’t okay?
The night was sad. My boyfriend tried to make me smile when we got back to the place he’s staying, but I just couldn’t. And Sunday I kept feeling sad and I feel so so lonely. Which I know is not fair. I have my family and my boyfriend and I know they love me. But I feel lonely still. And I feel guilty about it.
We also had dinner plans for Sunday night. We were supposed to go to this fancy restaurant which I’ve been wanting to go for years! This was the opportunity. But then I told my boyfriend to not go and just order something, though I truly wanted to go.
The day was so pretty and I wanted to go for a walk, but I stayed, though I know I was missing this opportunity to exercise (which I need) in a sunny but not hot day. It would’ve been perfect.
We watched a movie with my boyfriend and I kept being sad during the whole movie.
The worst part is that he feels guilty. F*ck. He couldn’t make me happier. I love this man and I know all the effort he puts on me. He’s so patient and caring. I LOVE HIM. I tried to explain him that I wasn’t sad because of anything he did or not but he still seemed disappointed at himself, and that breaks me. If he was in his country instead of being at my side right now, my day would’ve been hundreds times worse.
I’m feeling so guilty and so ashamed of how I’ve been feeling on the weekend. The past weeks I’ve been doing pretty great mentally so this really caught my out of guard.
I’m so so so sad and I’m hating myself really bad
sorry for the long post. I appreciate your time reading it