Lego batman and robin birthday party

I have been seeing a guy for a few weeks now. We went on 5 dates and he seemed to be long term material (similar values etc.,). He opened up to me and mentioned a few things that seemed to indicate he was on the introverted side (cannot mingle with new people easily, takes time to warm up in new settings, prefers to spend weekends curled up with books more than socializing etc.,). I was concerned because I am a fairly socially active person and would like my partner to be able to take part in these as well.
I decided to invite him to a birthday party (~25 people) hosted at a close friend’s place to see what we are like in social situations with each other. He came off detached and not as enthusiastic as I would have liked him to be. We asked him a few times if he was uncomfortable at the party and he said he was fine there and that as he had mentioned before he takes time to warm up to new people and also he was tired that day. We also pointed him to employees from his company who were at the party so that he could have something common to talk about.
Overall, what he was telling us was not adding up to the behavior we were seeing so we thought he was hesitant to mention he was uncomfortable being there. Also his being that way was making my friends feel like they were doing something wrong and we were not very happy. I talked to my friends and suggested he should leave the party. He pushed back and insisted he was fine being there and that he liked to listen and observe in large settings as he had told me before. And he continued to stay. We gave up trying.
Next day a huge argument broke out between us. He said the realization that I took him to the party to see what he is like in social situations felt like a covert test to him because there was an “underlying motive” to why I took him there and there was no conversation about it my concerns beforehand. And that he felt his openness about his introversion was used to put him in a situation to “assess” him like that without talking about it with him. I mean, all I was trying to do was understand our social compatibility and I didn’t mean it to be some test. I don’t understand why taking someone to a party is such a big deal. He also says he felt humiliated being asked to leave like that since he was not being harmful to anyone there. I really don’t understand that either - all we were trying to do was spare him some discomfort.
Apparently he shared his version of what happened with some mutual friends and now they are grilling me. Am I am the asshole here? All we thought we were trying to do was make him feel comfortable there and I don’t like how he is spreading negativity in my friend group. What do you all think? Am I the asshole here?

i'm really upset right now my f15 birthday is on tuesday and i organised a birthday dinner with my friend group of 15 people. 10 out of 15 cancelled . i'm really upset because whenever its one of their birthdays i always go all out and put in so much effort so they can be happy on their special day and it hurts to see they won't do the same for me. even though 3 didnt cancel on me i decided to just cancel the whole thing because those who did cancel just completely crushed me and any excitement i had towards my birthday. especially because its my 16th birthday and i've always imagined having a big party with my friends, does anyone have any ideas on what i can do because honestly im really sad right now and doubting our friendship

My brother and his wife have 3 children 8, 5 and 3.
I am his younger sister, childless myself and recently left uni because of my severe depression, living at my parents house until I find a different career path. (But I also provide care for grandma and mother.)
The older two children get ready for the day alone, which the parents are very proud of. Basically they just get dressed in unmatched clothes. They are not washed, dressed for the weather or have brushed hair. (If they do, they forget the back.)
I actually forgot how it became the topic at my father's birthday dinner. But they said their oldest doesn't like to brush his hair. I said then they should do it, because it needs to be done. His decision if he does it or his parents. She told me she didn't want to brush his hair, when she wants to get out of the house to work. (Mind you, she wears make up daily and my brother drives the children.) I stated how wrong I think this is and one should care for their kids after getting them.
She exploded. Told me she will not discuss this with a childless person without a degree. I told her quietly to watch what she sais. "No,you watch what you say."was the answer. Proceeds to tell me she always hated me and I am not to come to her youngest birthday party tomorrow. I said: "Didn't you observe I have not visited you in over a year now?" Then got told she wouldn't visit me either. I said: "I wouldn't invite you. I don't even know why you come here." It's not my decision,because this (parents place) is not my house.
I told her I am proud of her for finally showing her true colours, not communicating by putting my brother between us.
Today on the little one's birthday the oldest let slip "We are not allowed to visit grandparents anymore because of aunt xyz."
This is not the first time they are keeping the kids away from my parents. They regularly extorted my parents and her's. (Until they were desperate for a baby sitter.)
My brother sits through all this and comments "It's statistically proven that childless people comment more on other's parenting."
This was the second time I ever commented on a parenting issue of theirs. My field of study involved child sociology and developmental psychology. And I stand by keeping basic hygiene on a regular basis. We were not talking about arriving once with unkempt hair...
I feel so sad for my mom, who has been through this already and keeps her mouth shut for the sake of seeing her grand children...
So, am I the asshole for not having kept my mouth shut?

I (19m) am the youngest of four siblings (27F, 22F, 20F), the two older having a different mother, from one of my dad's past marriages. Me and my youmgest sister were born to the same mother, but my parents have been divorced since 2019. My parent's divorce was a result of my dad cheating on my mom.
He ended up dating the woman for 8 years total (the relationship began years before anyone knew about it, so around 2015, and this relationship ended mid 2023). Following this relationship he then dated a woman 1 year older than my oldest sister, to which he then cheated on with his current woman, E (short for entitled).
Regarding my dad's current woman, she has been constantly trying to get involved in all of mine and my sister's lives, one way or another, such as showing uo to our birthday and christmas parties, but the issues being that she was either uninvited, would twist every conversation onto herself or her children, or make a big deal about how she would get really bad headaches and have to be carried to my dad's car to lay down. E constantly tells my dad about how his kids haven't done anything with their lives (I'm the only one not in college/graduated atm, and I'm working a full time job so I can afford to go), meanwhile she has children who dropped out of highschool and have been expelled, multiple times.
Today we had a party celebrating my older two sister's birthday and college graduation respectively. It was us four siblings, 22F's fiancé and 20F's boyfriend, and what we thought would by my dad and E (we don't really invite her, but if my dad is invited she has to go). When those two finally arrived (about 30 minutes late), we were surpised to find out that there was "a few" other people coming. We thought it would be her children, who have shown up for past events such as my birthday, but to our surprise E thought it was a great idea to bring her youngest son, and two people none of my sisters have ever met. One of the two I did recognize as one of my dad's employees at a bar, but the other was also a new face to me. As for the guy, he was just very downright racist and made us all uncomfortable with sexual remarks, and when we asked my dad about it E chimed in and said to 'not take him seriously'.
After we ate our food and played a bit of bags (cornhole), we tried to play a trivia game like we usually do, where we take turns and answer questions on a card, we have a turn system for this game, but none of the random invites nor my dad and E were following it. This combined with the group collectively trying to cause havoc throughout the entire party by looking at the trivia cards and guessing out if turn, and my sisters had enough and wanted to just leave. A couple comments were said by the 'guests', which caused an all out screaming war between my sisters, my dad, and E, where my dad and E were arguing that we had to get used to these people as they were family. I said that they weren't our family so they can leave. (They did end up keaving for a short period) This is where we found out my dad and E had gotten secretly married in March, and they would've announced it sooner (at my birthday party), and had I not been 'selfish' during my party, they would've announced it at the restaurant I chose to eat at (E said it was selfish because she was allergic to cinnamon and I got a cheesecake for dessert that had cinnamon in it so she had to leave). E said that since she was our stepmom now we had to listen and respect her, which is not how that works. She told us we were the ones that were not a part of my dad's family, and we should leave. This is around where I was tokd to leave so I sat in my sister's fiancé's car until my mom came and got me, (my youngest sister and her boyfriend had to leave early so they didn't know about this until I told them).
I don't know much of what was said after I left, but I did see the guests return for a minute, followed by my older sister shoving them right back out the door, to which they did not return.
I feel bad for my sisters. This was their day to celebrate, and not only did it end this badly, but my dad is threatening to cut off all communications with them because of this incident. He said if we return to the building we were celebrating at (which he owns), he will call the cops on us for trespassing. E is threatening to take my oldest sister's dogs because she 'doesn't deserve them', and E is likely now uninvited from my sister's wedding. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR - my sisters' combined graduation and birthday party is cut short because my dad got secretly married to an entitled woman, who now wants us cut off from 'her' family.

I'm pretty new to this. I've done a week liquid pre op and I've officially done a week post op and I still have another week to go. I'm not tired but I feel weak. I feel sad inside. I reaaaalllllyyy want to bite into something more than a drinkable liquid. Jello and pudding cups aren't doing it for me.
My birthday party is in a few hours and I'm having more Jello. I wish I could have a bite of pizza or just scrape off the top and eat the toppings, sauce, and cheese. I feel like a broken man. My morale is really low for the day. I wish I could just skip this week to soft foods and have some beans and cheese. Or skip this month and eat some eggs or ground beef or toast.
I'm going to see them Wednesday, is there any chance you think they'd let me start soft foods earlier than 2 weeks post op?

So this is kind of ongoing??
Hi everyone I'm just going to make this the shortest I can do it so if anyone wants me to clarify I will.
My dad and I are both only siblings. My mom is not. Both of them turn sixty this year. (My dad had his birthday in January) My mom's is in July.
So my maternal uncle on his own is usually a kind and loving man who is always lovely, but this, and his partner (and their roommate)'s intervention is making me think that they don't really value us.
Ok, sounds stupid, but basically, last July when my mum turned 59 I asked my dad if we could ask to use my Uncle and partner and roommate's house for a surprise party (a place they use to hold most 'family' occasions), he liked it we asked to use their house in October. They accepted. (Let me be clear, I have always understood that it was their house and if they said no, of course I would've been a little upset, but I would've moved on) But no, they gave us the number of 46 people.
I clarified this number with the two of them (uncle and partner) that November by giving them my idea of a guest list, and they weren't fazed as our idea was a little under the max but counting myself, my mom, my dad, my uncle, his partner and his roommate it would make 41 people. They later backtracked to 20 people in January, and blamed us for the original number of 46 people. Then after talking to my uncle's stepdaughter (partner's daughter) realised she'd been telling other people that the maximum was 30 people.
Now we're in a massive mess as even though my uncle's house as a location has been cancelled. We've found another place, but they're mad at us for going over the original number they said they'd given us.
Now I feel really stupid for even asking to use my uncle's house in the first place.
TL;DR: My dad and I asked to use my uncle's house for a birthday party when they use it for almost every other occasion regarding his partner and roommate's families. They accepted, backtracked a couple of months later, and now we're in a he-said she-said situation and my mom is blissfully unaware of what's going on.

We only get super anxious and triggered when our birthday falls on Father’s Day. I mean, we still get triggered on “normal” birthdays but this is a different level. We count the years, months, days, and even the hours til the next time it falls on Father’s Day.
We are staying with an older couple who have kids and grandkids. I’ve been told that the man just prefers quiet, relaxing days with alone time. They have told me that they would do their best to make my birthday happier and less…scary? They offered to rent a shelter or invite some people over but our anxiety has been through the roof.
I just feel really guilty taking up Father’s Day when they might have grandkids or kids who want to visit. I also feel really guilty that I’m not going home this year. (Mostly because my work will be super busy and I need to be there the Friday before and Monday after.) We plan on making some homemade goodies for our dad and sending them via mail.
Last year, we had a Minecraft party per littles request. It was triggering but we tried to make the most of it. That is until people starting making unkind remarks about a 25 yr old having a party that’s meant for little kids.
I know if we try to do something, we will feel guilty and ashamed. If we don’t, there will be some very upset headmates.
We suggested maybe doing something that we would both like. We also brought up giving him Father’s Day for alone time and we can do ours a different day.
I don’t know what to do and the system is in chaos about all of this. Some are wanting to do nothing, some want a party. Still some would like a day trip. There’s a bunch of guilt and sadness.
Sorry for a rambling post!

The title should say enough as TL;DR. The longer story is that my bf and I, as well as his friends attended a smaller, more east asian media oriented convention months ago, where he and I cosplayed as Misa and Light a little last minute, but still enjoyed ourselves. Now, the bigger variant would be next month, and my bf (M22) wanted to attend again. My bf and I have talked about this for months, and even when he was over at my birthday, we talked about cosplaying as something I really liked again, just as a way to make it an enjoyable experience for both parties (he's more into the convention thing, and I am into fashion).
So, a few days ago I brought up we should go in june again, to my bf, since nobody at home was really against it and said it'd be fun (I live with my mom and sister, as well as her kid—my nephew). That same day I showed my mom and sister a couple of outfits that Tifa wears, which they said is actually cool, especially my sister (who liked her cowboy one most) cos she plays the games too. Fast forward, my bf gets two tickets, so I'm showing my mom again; hey, I have tickets now, this is what we want to go as. She suddenly starts saying the outfit is too slutty, etc. i said I'd wear safety shorts and my pleated skirt would be longer anyway, as well as the crop top, so she wouldn't have to worry about it, especially because in real life I wear short stuff too. She calls me names, says me going one time was enough, keeps going at it, and I say "okay then I won't go". She keeps this whole thing up, so I just decide to go to my room and close myself up, because I know arguing against her will leave me outside with nothing for hours again (speaking from experience), and I just can't be bothered.
I do the same today, because I just don't understand her problem, she says I shouldn't have allowed my bf to buy tickets before I got consent over what to wear. Which, fair, because I'm middle eastern and that put me in the luck of needing consent for everything, which is where I think I'm the asshole, as well as for ignoring her. But at the same time, I feel like it's completely reasonable I got upset over this too?
I don't party, go out, not even with friends, on dates I constantly text my mom so she knows I am not "doing anything wrong" (as well as me trying to get home early always, and 5 pm already gets her screaming off of her lungs that it's late), I get good grades and only occpuy myself with work and school. I've had recitals for my own music, she's never attended one. At the same time, she polices my body and what I do, and even though I live under her roof, which makes me TA in this situation in her opinion, wouldn't I still be allowed some? Liberty? I feel like a 15 year old asshole even crying about this idk... AITA?
TLDR; Mom won't let me (f21) cosplay as Tifa for a convention because she thinks it's too slutty and I should've told her I wanted to look "like a whore" before letting my boyfriend (m22) buy tickets.

Context:
I’m rewriting my WIP for the fifth (and hopefully last) time to make the story more character driven and make my characters motivations stronger. I’ve changed the first three chapters so many times I have no idea what’s good anymore. It’s a portal fantasy Reverse Harem with fated mates. You only meet two love interests in the intro (and one of them only shows up towards the very end of the set up), but I am just looking to see if my FMC's motivations make sense, or if I have made the Set Up too convoluted and given her too many goals.
**Please note the scenes I am posting have been written as an outline, and is not intended to read line by line like a finished manuscript. I will be writing it in First person POV when I finish plotting.**
Backstory (TLDR; Character A needs to gain access to the Other World so she can make a bargain to trade her Father's life for hers, we open on the 6th anniversary of him being taken, her 24th birthday. I ramble on for quite a bit so if you would like to get right into it please skip to Intro/Set Up)
Motivation:
Character A’s Father was stolen by otherworldly creatures 6 years ago and taken to their lands. Character A harbours guilt and blames herself because she disobeyed her Fathers rules and snuck into the woods with her friends on her 18th birthday to go swimming. Her Father came looking for her and that is when she witnessed him being taken.
In the area they live in, disappearances around the full moon were common, with many losing their loved ones over the last 50 years with no explanation. There were a lot of theories of aliens, bigfoot, cougars, werewolves, and only her Father claimed that magic wielding creatures were responsible.
Character A grew up being told stories about these lands, how the creatures enslaved humans to play in their games until they died for entertainment. Her Father told her magic was real but it was to be feared and to run from any sign of the unusual, forbade her from leaving her house after sunset or from ever going into the woods, and he always tried to keep her close to him.
He had a hard time holding down a job due to the grief he felt from losing Character A’s mother during childbirth and when he would drink he would make it known that he resented Character A for derailing his life, because now he was burdened with protecting her instead of living as a family. Her mother was buried there and her father refused to move away from her body. Character A internalized this, feeling guilty for being the reason he struggled so much, and spent her life caring for her father the way she would a child. Cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc. She would even get revenge on his bosses for firing him. Her Father always claimed it was never his fault, that they were abusing their power and couldn’t handle somebody smarter than them, and losing his job would send him into an alcoholic depression.
Character A heard her Fathers words, and combined with the way out-of town business men had turned her small mountain town into their own personal resort, developed a deep hatred for anyone that held power. She would find little ways to get revenge on her Fathers bosses, and when she was older, spent her spare time getting revenge on the trust fund kids who didn’t care if their actions had consequences for the people living there.
She had a big dream of leaving her small town and exploring the world, but she felt responsible for her Father. She took care of him, and she was afraid of what would happen to him if she left, but she knew she was suffocating under him. Although her guilt and love for her father prevented her from seeing the full truth of what he was, narcissistic and abusive, deep down she knew and she became restless under his restriction.
When she was young she believed his stories but as she got older and never saw any evidence to back up his claims, the more she chaffed against his rules and started sneaking out. She wasn’t dumb, she always carried a knife and bear spray. She read up on what to do if you encountered a predator in the forest, and she begun stealing what little freedom she could for herself. She didn’t believe in magic, wolves and mountain lions were the only things that made sense to her.
Wound:
After her Father is taken Character A is broken. Everything her Father said was true, all he was trying to do was keep her safe, but she disobeyed him and now he was taken to a magical land to be tortured by never ending games. She is distraught and depressed. She begins sleeping in the woods, hoping to be taken too so her pain can end.
A few months later, at the end of summer, her best friend and boyfriend, the only people her father approved of her spending time with, tell her that they still plan to leave for the year long trip they were all going on. They want to start their lives, they think Character A has become delusional in the wake of her Fathers disappearance, they can’t be stuck there taking care of her, they can’t handle her emotions, they need a fresh start. She realizes they have been having an affair, she internalizes them telling her she is too much to handle and that she is unlovable. She was a burden on her father and then a burden on them. She doesn’t see them again for six years.
Present Day:
Character A has spent the last six years trying to get to the other world during the full moon. The weeks in between she spends physically training, researching anything she can, working just enough to cover her bills for the month, and distracting herself with casual flings or sleeping with the trust fund kids in order to gain access to something she wants to steal from them as payback for something they have done. She never lets herself get too close to anyone, knowing that she plans to disappear, but she partied with whoever is willing to distract herself until the next full moon.
Every passing year on her birthday she grows more and more desperate. She begins researching magic spells and rituals that might show her the entrance to the otherworld. She finds a newly discovered mushroom being sold that claims to help you see what is hidden from human eyes.
Character B:
A month ago Character B was sent from the other wolrld to retrieve Character A. She is the descendant of a lost royal line and they have received a vision from the goddess that she is her Heir, the key to defeating the darkness and restoring balance to the land. Character B does not live a good life in the other world, he is nothing but a glorified prisoner in his own life, and all he’s ever wanted was a family of his own, but because of the queen and his father, he cannot have that. He avoids confrontation, always choosing to run from his problems instead of fight. He first lays eyes on Character A as she is driving a motorcycle into a lake.
He is unsure if the vehicle is supposed to drive under water, so he waits a moment before trying to do a rescue. He doesn’t know it’s her until she swims up into the shore, and begins gathering weeds from the lakebed. he thinks she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and can’t imagine dragging her back to his world where she could be in danger. He wants to watch the curious human for a bit longer to see what she does
He silently follows her and watches her climb into a window and place the weeds around a man sleeping in a bed, then creep down the hallway to an office where she unlocks a safe and pulls out a stack of papers. She then meets up with somebody, hands over the papers with a hug, then walks into the forest.
She walks and walks and he realizes she heading towards the portal and gets nervous, until she reaches a tree with five different coloured ribbons tied around one branch. She takes a new yellow ribbon , adds it to the branch and continues walking until she reaches another tree with ribbons where she adds another ribbon, then walks to the very centre of both trees and sits down. She softly hums a tune to herself.
She seems relaxed, strong and confident, he thinks this must be some new human ritual he hadn’t heard of yet and her humming is soothing to him, but he notices a shiver. He feels a strong need. To wrap her up in a blanket and make her warm. He decides right then that he cannot take her back and ruin her peace, that he himself would not go back, that he would befriend her and they would hide together her in her world and they would be safe and happy. It was pointless trying to fight anyway, they were never going to win and it would be better for them both to be safe and far away from the evil queen.
The next morning he follows her to her favourite coffee shop, glamoured to look more human and remove his pointy ears, and introduces himself as a man trying to get away from his overbearing parents and family he doesn’t get along with.
Intro/Set Up
Chapter 1
-Character A is thinking about how she has to get laid tonight, because it will be her last chance before she disappears and probably dies. Character A is stealing some documents and a bunch of cash from a safe in The Guys home office, she pulls a bag out of her pocket and with it, a card for the bookstore she works at flutters under his desk. She puts the documents and money in the bag and bends down to pick it up when she notices the family photo on the desk and she stops.
It is a picture of The Guy, His Son that she stole and crashed his bike into a lake last month, and The Other Son that she may have killed nine months ago when she burned his cabin down. She is filled with rage when she looks at the photo and thinks she doesn’t regret what she’s done. Character B calling her phone snaps her out of it and when she hears someone come home, she leaves, but she forgets the card.
-She stops at the bookstore to give Coworker 1 the documents and money. Coworker 1 says she will never be able to thank her, that this was the last thing she needed she could get out of town. Character A tells her good luck and to give them hell. Coworker 1 is leaving town tomorrow, she connected with a journalist who can help her expose The Guy and once she does she won’t be able to come back. Coworker 1 is very grateful to her, and Character A makes sure to tell herself that they aren't friends, because friendship requires a level of vulnerability that Olivia could not give her, but she knew Coworker 1 was a good person and deserved so much more than what she got when The Other Son sexually assaulted her at work while His Son filmed it. How when she received a payout in exchange for her silence they knew it wasn’t the first time. They were determined to find further evidence, and they did. Signed NDA’s from all of the employees they had paid off in the past.
Character B joins them at the store. Character A is petting her beloved bookstore cat and goes to pull some treats out of her bag. Her hand brushes against a vial of red and white mushrooms and Character A hopes that they are the key she has been searching for. For six years she has felt like she has been brushing up against the edge of something, but has never been able to get herself to the other side. She was deep in a witchcraft discussion forum when somebody posted about a new discovery of mushrooms, one that allowed the ingestor to see through the Veil, to show them all the magic they cannot see. The poster was pretty insistent that it wasn’t just a trip, that they were able to see threads of magic. After years of failed meditating, drinking teas, burning herbs,and chanting spells around the ley line conversion and not finding anything, what did she have to lose with some magic mushrooms?
Character B calls her name, startling her from her thoughts and she knocks over a box of alien and bigfoot merch. Coworker 1 cracks a joke about being careful with the product or else the alien truthers will riot, Character A rolls her eyes at the people who flocked there in search of the wrong thing. Character B apologizes for startling her and says he was just admiring one of her new Boxwood Topiaries, three trees of varying height that ended with hearts on top, and she says she finished it yesterday.
She loves plants but, like a cat, she can’t commit to having them because she doesn’t plan to be around long, so she does topiary art as a compromise, and the extra money she earns goes towards buying her herbs and mushrooms. Her Father never managed to save much money and she wasn’t left with much after he was taken. She had to use her savings replacing the furnace in her home shortly after her Father was taken, and now she only worked enough to keep her living until the next paycheck. She spent the rest of her time training and researching. Preparing to go to Wonderland in search of her Father.
Character B is making friends with the cat, having charmed it onto its belly, and Coworker 1 gives Character A a knowing look. Character A shakes her head, says they are just hanging out, nothing serious. Coworker 1 says he could be good for her. She knew they had been hanging out, that Character A had let him stay at her house for the last two weeks. She wasn’t judging though, Character A seemed lighter around him, and he was so nice. She had seen him helping Mrs. Smith with her groceries the other day.
Character A thinks that was what initially warmed her up to him. Coworker 1 was right, she never brought guys home, but the first week that he was here he had never failed to notice when people needed help and always offered to lend a hand. Plus he was fun, and fun to look at, and he was always looking for a new adventure. He took her mind off of what a failure she was for not saving her Father yet, and he seemed relatively harmless. So when he said he had never seen her favorite comedy movie she just HAD to take him home to watch it. And he hadn’t left, she hadn’t asked him to. It was becoming a problem. Because she was going to disappear tonight, and a small part of her was beginning to feel sad she would never see him again. It was why she hadn’t slept with him yet, she knew she enjoyed his company just a little too much and wouldn’t risk any further attachment. Character A agreed that he was a good person but emphasized that it was just casual. Coworker 1 says alright, she will back off, and she will let them get to the party. She needs to finish packing and wants to leave as soon as possible. Character A says she understand, they hug and say goodbye.
Chapter 2
-Character A and Character B are walking to the Board Game party. They are dressed as Clue characters, she is Miss. Scarlet and Character B is Mr. Green. They had played every board game she owned, which was a lot of them, in order to decide what to dress up as for the Your Favorite Board Game Party. He turned out to be a good competitor and got way more into the games than she expected him to.
He hands her a cinnamon bun, her favorite, and tells her he had made a whole batch for her, claiming that he knew she hadn’t gotten one since they were hiking that morning, and all she had eaten that day was trail mix and beef jerky and he refuses to let her party on an empty stomach. She happily takes a huge bite, grateful for this one thing she loved before she left this world forever.
He says he’s been thinking and asks her to go traveling with him. She almost chokes on her food. His words rush out and he assures her he has money and can pay for everything and they can go anywhere she wants. Her heart sinks into her stomach. Before her Father went missing, an offer like that from a hot guy would have been her dream, but she couldn’t now, or ever. She looks at the half eaten cinnamon bun, thinks how he had made them because he had gotten coffee with her every morning for the last three weeks, and he saw how every Saturday and Sunday morning she would get a cinnamon bun the size of her face and eat it. She looks at the Green jacket he wore and remembers laughing in the thrift shop as he tried on a full leather catsuit while they searched for the perfect outfit for the party. He was too good. She begins to think that in another life, they could go. They could adopt an adventure cat and take it with them on their world travels, but that wasn’t possible for her. She wasn’t staying in this world, and even if she was, she was too messed up. Too broken. Too much of a burden. And she could never give all of herself to one person ever again, she did it twice, and was broken by both of them because she was too much.
She decides he’s gotten too close and she needs to push him away, so in the hopes that it will scare him, she explains that she can’t leave because her Father was stolen by a magical creature and taken to the Other World. She tells him the entire story her father told her, of creatures luring people to the Other World and keeping them for the Queen's entertainment, forced to be pawns in her games. They are ruthless and obsessed with games and everything reeks of roses. She tells him its her fault that he got taken and she can’t live with herself until she either gets him back or gets revenge for his death.
Character B begins pleading with her, telling her she shouldn't go. She is surprised he doesn’t balk or think she is crazy. He isn’t looking at her the way Ex-Bestfriend and Ex-Boyfriend did, like they feared she would infect them with her crazy, no, he looks at her with genuine terror in his eyes. She stops walking, they are just outside the party house. What do you know? She says. He inhales and steps forward, desperation etched into hs features, and says that he knows that everything she said was true, and that it is much worse than she even thinks. That if she goes, she will not make it back here. It’s too dangerous, and he just wants to keep her safe. She is flabbergasted, and checks over his features for signs. No pointed ears, no animalistic features such as scales or a tail, no strange eyes. How do you know all this? He doesn’t answer, his mouth works like he’s trying to come up with something and betrayal starts to roil in her gut.
Before he has the chance to lie, two men throw their arms around their shoulders. It is the couple that Character A hooks up with on occasion. They start walking them into the house and the one with Character A asks if she wants to come over later for a joint and to hook up. She tries to muster up a yes, it is what she wanted after all, but she can’t think straight after her conversation with Character B. She turns back to see he’s been steered into a conversation with a few other people and thinks she needs a drink to calm herself and give her some courage.
-She walks into the kitchen for a glass and bumps into her Ex-Boyfriend. She is thrown for a loop again. He says Happy Birthday and remarks that he didn’t think he would find her at a party today, since he knows how much she hates her birthday. Character A is surprised to see him and momentarily forgets about Character B, and asks what they’re doing back in town. He says its because Ex-Bestfriends mom is still missing. Character A says, oh, right. And feels stupid for thinking she wouldn’t run into them. She was devastated to hear Ex-BFFs Mom had been taken, she was like a second mother to her, but after Ex-BFF left she couldn’t stand to look at her Mom anymore and remember what she had lost.
He mentions something about the baby coming soon and Ex-BFF wanting to be as close to her mom as she can. Character A questions the baby and he tells her they are pregnant. Character A flashes back to both of them telling her they were leaving and couldn’t stay in contact with her anymore, that she had become too much for them to handle on the horizon of their new lives. She noted the way they looked at each other and how their knees pressed together, and that was when she knew they had been having an affair. She comes back to the present when he leans in close and says he actually wants to ask her some questions about her dad. She sees a familiar head with a mop of blonde hair moving through the crowd towards them. Seeing Ex-Boyfriend was bad enough, she cannot see Ex-Bestfriend. See her pregnant. And now he wants to hear what she has to say about the disappearances? You can go fuck yourself, she spits and walks away before he can say anything else, and thankfully, before Ex-Bestfriend reaches her. She thinks his betrayal hurt her, but her betrayal broke her.
-She is fleeing the kitchen, heading for the back door, desperate to get away from them, when she bumps into an attractive man in a red velvet sport coat with a red velvet top hat. They are both imprinted with roses. He apologizes for bumping into her and her heart skips a beat, thinking of the Queen's obsession with roses. She asks him who he's supposed to be and he smiles but pauses before saying his name is Character C, he’s friends with Character B, and her heart stops all together. A chill runs through her and Character B interrupts and asks him what he’s doing here. Character C hugs him and says its good to see him and says he thought he was dead. Character C turns to Character A and says that he took off for a month without saying anything, could she even believe it? And they had an important event that the three of them needed to attend tonight. Character B starts to argue with Character C when Character A hears her name called. The Guy she stole from is there, he holds up the card to the bookstore that fell under his desk and said he wants the contents of his safe back, and maybe the sheriff will go easy on her if she returns it, or maybe he won't since he will also be investigating his cabin burning down and one of his sons going missing. Character A plays dumb but he grabs her around the neck and says he knows it was her, she’s a pathetic bum just like her father. Character B punches him, forcing him to release her and they begin fighting. The other partygoers jump to Character A’s defense and start fighting the other guys that came with him. Character C picks up Character A after she was knocked over to keep her from being trampled, and Character B breaks away when The Guy starts fighting with someone else. So they turn and head for the door, but The Guy's Son, the same one from last month who she stole the bike from, blocked the back door.
-Character A turns and together they run into the basement, locking the door behind them. They run down the stairs and into a bedroom where she locks the door again. She whips out her knives and points one at Character C. “Why do you want me to go to the Other World?” He holds up his hands and smiles, “I need your help finding a weapon that will help me defeat the Queen .” “Why me?” “The Goddess showed me in a dream that it is you. I will pay you in gold and return you back here, unharmed, once you find it.” Character A hears them break through the basement door and descend the stairs. “Fine, I’ll help you do it.” Character B protests and steps forward but she gestures the knife at him and he stops. “But first, you will help me find my Father and send him back here. Alive. And healthy.” All she knows about the Other World is what she could glean from her Fathers stories and what she was able to research about lore, but she had no idea what was accurate and what was not. She would be a fool to think she should turn away help if she could bargain for it. “I will help you find you Father, but it won’t be until after tonight, we must attend the Queens party so you can search for the weapon, this is the best opportunity we will have for another year.” The Guy begins banging on the door. She took it back, she was being a fool, she had very little hope that she would be able to fulfill her end of the bargain, but she was out of time, and she may never have a chance to get to the Other World again. “Deal.” She says as she steps forward to shake his hand. Character C grasps it and an electrical charge runs up her arm. He pulls a small vial out of his pocket. He dumps some black sparkly powder on his tongue and a hole appears in the floor. Grabbing Character B’s hand as well they jump through it just as the door breaks open.
If you have read this far, seriously thank you so much and I love you and if you want feedback on anything please direct me to where I can provide it!
I wanted to note that the mention about her potentially killing The Other Son is relevant to the plot because he did not die in the fire, he was lured to the Other World and will be there as an antagonist when Character A shows up. Also, the mushrooms become relevant to her finding the weapon in book 2. She gets sidetracked this book by finding her father and bargaining to take his place in the game (the party they are attending is to watch this game take place) and having to fight her way out of them. The entire first book takes place over the course of one single night.

Let's start by saying that I am in a group of friends in which there are several boys and several girls. I live on a university campus and so we often meet up just to smoke a cigarette or study together. Every month or so, they organize a party here where there are always a lot of people and usually my group of friends and I have fun together. In September 2023, a friend (who is the closest to me in the group and who we will call by the name of "Stella") introduces me to a girl, with whom I talk all evening, we have the same interests and in general we get along well talking, but nothing much happens that party night. To shorten it, we get together after a few days. For the first few days I was hesitant and then I completely fell in love with it. Months pass, the university session arrives and I can't pass any of the exams I had to pass. Small aside, since I live on campus with a scholarship, by July 2024 I have to pass all the first year exams with an average of 24/30, I have four to go. In that period I don't know what came over me but I tightened my hands around her neck almost to drown her, and then removed my grip and apologized for the gesture I had made. What I did doesn't make logical sense, but I attribute it now thanks to a therapy I'm following, which was associated with the study. The first time we "underestimated" it, or rather she had nightmares and difficulty sleeping at night but we had never had a serious discussion about this thing, also, and here I admit it, because I hadn't started talking seriously about this either. Some time passes and classes start again, I felt like sometimes I wasn't focused on studying, I had difficulty studying and I took refuge from her. Well this frustration was repeated a second time with the same gesture towards her. This time we talked about it, and seriously considered starting therapy because it was clear I needed help. A week goes by, in which I don't notice anything special, and she writes me a message: "I don't feel well, I want to sleep alone tonight", thinking that she might have a stomach ache or a headache, I decide to go up to her and see how are This time we talked about it, and seriously considered starting therapy because it was clear I needed help. A week goes by, in which I don't notice anything special, and she writes me a message: "I don't feel well, I want to sleep alone tonight", thinking that she might have a stomach ache or a headache, I decide to go up to her and see how she was doing. She opens the door for me, I ask her how she is, and she replies with "everything is fine but I have to talk to you". She tells me that she no longer has feelings towards me and that she can't continue, I tell her that we can always help each other but she, undaunted, decides to end it anyway. Days go by in which I try to "win her back" without success, I go to talk to her and tell her that I would move on. The problem is that often when I'm with my friends, she's there too and after talking to her, seeing her often gave unwanted results. I felt bad again, and I couldn't stop thinking about what I did. I decide to go and talk to her, this time asking her to try again. I get a categorical no. He tells me he's getting scared and wants his space, and I rightly agreed. Let's get to the point, what happened yesterday. After the last time we spoke, I didn't write to her anymore and at most I said hello when we passed each other around campus, nothing more. Obviously we take into account the group dinners where we were both there or during the study. Last night, it was Stella's boyfriend's birthday, and both my ex and I were there. Towards the end of the evening the girls, talking to each other, raise the topic of dating and, since I was literally half a meter away from them, I hear my ex say that she is dating a boy off campus and that it's nothing special though. serious and that there was only something "carnal". I stare into space for 20 seconds to say I feel sleepy and go home. Needless to say, I cried late into the night because deep down I still have feelings for her and knowing that she was able to move on from our relationship in less than a month pretty much killed me. In the end that's all. I would like your opinion and you are free to tell me anything that comes to mind.

Avid gym goer x occasional gamer looking for anyone really. Send in a dm even if you see this post is a few days old!!
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Hey everyone‼️ I’m 20M from the UK (and as the title suggests) looking for a long term connection with anyone from anywhere really
Just wanna say that I’m active pretty much any time throughout the day so if you see that my post is old by a few days don’t be afraid to hmu
I enjoy gaming (usually single player and campaign driven games since that’s like 80% of my roster but I do play online comp games too sometimes) and read too. Recently got into self help for some reason lmao and enjoy listening to podcasts as well.
Film enthusiast also. Particularly love the sci fi horror genre but I’m open to loads of others too. If you have a favorite film, chances are I’ve already seen it 🤷‍♂️
And yeah, love the gym for the most part. Gave myself eternal body dysmorphia. If you go to the gym then you’re either gonna get it soon or already have it so let’s talk and we can cry over it together lol.
And one more thing, I love Lego. Huge collector of the batman sets idk why this feels important to mention
Hope this blossoms into something long term and maybe we can vc or whatever floats your boat. Don’t be afraid to slide in a dm‼️

Hey I ordered a ton of perfume during a mental breakdown. Here are my thoughts on some of them.
— Black-Hearted Tart —
We Fell In Love In October (Fluffy, hot off the griddle pancakes topped with butter and smothered in golden maple syrup. Accompanied by a side of spiced baked apples with notes of nutmeg, cinnamon, and ginger): Buttercream, cinnamon yankee candle, nothing. That’s the extent of my journey. Honestly, it’s fine, it’s a very inoffensive fall scent, if you want to smell like you’ve crushed a craft store on your wrist it’s great, but a lot is missing. If notes are a choir, the cinnamon has a megaphone. Honestly, I’ve been looking for a good pancake or waffle scent for a while, and this misses the mark. 3/5, not bad at all, but not was I was looking for and definitely not fit to wear yet in the Hell Summer I have coming up.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Gifting to people who still use the word “spoopy”
• School bake-sale days
• Smoking cigarettes on the roof

Boys Wanna Be Her (Uplifting basil and bergamot add freshness. Enhanced with an earthy blend of buddha wood and oak moss. Tonka bean and white patchouli evoke a bohemian vibe): Boys Wanna Be Clean too, apparently, because the crux of this frag is SOAP, lots of it, and nothing but it. I have no clue where it’s coming from based on the notes, but it’s undeniably suds. It smells like those industrial strength white bars. Like “I just worked a twelve hour shift and the first thing I did when I got home was scrub myself down so hard my nose forgot what work smelled like.” This would probably be great for layering, come to think of it, but I like “violently clean” scents and will probably wear it on its own anyway. 3.5/5 if you’re like me and soap is a comfort scent, or if you’re some kind of Patron Saint of Laundry Detergent, you’d probably like this too.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Showing up Febreeze
• Infiltrating rich person bathrooms where the shower has fifty nozzles that move and every surface is marble
• Feeling peppy and awake on mornings where you just want to crash

— OSMOFOLIA —
Finally A Star (The glitz of cardamom and sparkling grapefruit stars, outer space ozone, dreamy tuberose, searing gunpowder, and a ham hock for a head): I’m so mad that this is good. The joke with my IRL friends regarding this order was “you know I wasn’t in a good place when I made this purchase because I got ham perfume.” And I'm the joke now, because I ended up liking it a lot. Like, this is currently the only Osmo frag that has ever worked on me, and I’ve tried a sizable chunk of their library. (Seriously, I was going to include another perfume of theirs to compare and contrast, but everything I said felt too mean.) To make matters worse, you can definitely smell the ham and the gunpowder in the beginning! It’s in the background behind a really juicy grapefruit note, but it’s present. Part of the way this perfume was sold to me were reviews that assured me the ham was more of a bacon note, but no. This is honey baked ham. Deli-core. But the grapefruit note is so juicy that it takes over and makes it manageable. It’s pretty and weird and vaguely delicious and I’m worried someone will try to take a bite out of my facemeat when I wear this, but I will wear it. 3.5/5, I guess?
Potential Practical Uses:

• Ill-advised bereavement meals
• Going poolside but your bathing suit is hotdog-themed
• Happily single manic pixie dream girls

— Sorcellerie Apothecary—
Cake For Breakfast (Birthday cake, ripe mango, pineapple, coffee, maple syrup, and a hint of cardamom): Okay, I get it, coffee doesn’t like my skin. This is a bitter burnt caramel on me, though according to my friends with working noses, it reads more vanilla to them. I wish I could get what they got: as the day goes on, it started pulling borderline savory on me. It’s like… okay, you know when you make pancakes and little drops of batter get stuck to the pan? And then they stay there and slowly burn into little balls of ash? It smells like the process of that happening, but someone is chugging coffee syrup. I can’t say I got the mango or pineapple, which I was kinda pulling for; there’s a possibility it was there in the opening, but I also could have been hallucinating considering how fast it vanished. I’m giving it a 2/5, I can’t fully say it’s bad, especially because the drydown is okay if you like your caramel overdone, but I don’t think I’ll be keeping this.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Manifesting disappointment
• Becoming the exhausted diner waitress you’ve always dreaded being
• Reconnaissance in Seattle

Your Girlfriend Is A Badass (Yellow cake with fudge icing, oakmoss, Himalayan cedar, forest floor): By all accounts, this shouldn’t have worked. I hate chocolate as a perfume note, because it tends to go tootsie roll on me, and I’m not the biggest fan of yellow cake because vanilla is a death note, and “forest floor” implies dirt, which I’m also not an enjoyer of. This is all to say I honestly don’t know what possessed me to buy this, but I’m extremely glad it did because I’m in love. When they say fudge icing, they mean it: it didn’t go cheap or artificial on me, it was honest to god chocolate the whole time. I know “I wanted to lick my wrist” is a cliche in reviews, but it did smell like my arm was edible. That dirt note is prominent, but it works in harmony with the chocolate and gives the whole thing depth. As it dries down, an unexpected party joins: incense. I can’t name which exactly, but it has undeniable headshop vibes to it. It sounds weird, especially because it’s not in the notes (unless this is just Sorce’s base), but it works. It’s like… a joint retirement cake between Joni Mitchell and Walt Whitman. Or like you’re making s'mores in a log cabin with a bunch of your stoner friends who super aren’t going to die to a slasher later. It’s definitely greater than the sum of its parts, and pretty much seals the deal on me crawling back to Sorcellerie for another order. 4.5/5, easy, would annoy the Haunted Forest No One Should Step Foot In for cake again.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Tracking down the man who killed your parents
• Hiking on a cold Midwest evening, alone with your thoughts
• Daphne specifically

Today's my (f17) birthday (May 19th) and my family and three of my friends had a little barbecue party. Two of my friends J (my best friend) and A (J's and my mutual friend) haven't met F (a friend and classmate; he even said himself that we're friends :D). Fast forward, my best friend (J) is convinced that he also likes me the way I like him. Even A agreed. But I'm really not sure.
A and J both said that F always looked at me with a smile and was laughing a lot when looking at/talking to me. Us four played monopoly together and at one point F had to go to the bathroom and asked me if I could play for him.. ME!! HE ASKED ME!! (okay he doesn't know J and A, but still!!!!) At another point I had to go downstairs to help my mom. I asked F if he would play 'for' me. J said that he was paying more attention to my streets than to his and he even put our money together!! Omg, this sounds so ridiculous 💀🥲
J and A think that F and I look good together, even our names sound good. But tbh I think J and A are trying to feed my delusions ✨✨
And when everyone was downstairs in our yard F asked me if I wanted to visit him again so we could work out again. (Backstory: I was over at his house and went downstairs into his basement where his home gym is. That day he motivated me to try it. At first it was very uncomfortable but after a few minutes I had fun, which is so unusual for me lol) Now that I think about it, I'd love to do that again, it was really fun.
Edit: I just remembered that I accidentally hurt myself with a safety pin (don't even know how I managed to do that 💀💀💀💀) and I whispered an “ow..” and only he noticed that, even though it was so quiet he asked if I was okay and what I had done lol

Hey everyone‼️ I’m 20M from the UK (and as the title suggests) looking for a long term connection with anyone from anywhere really
Just wanna say that I’m active pretty much any time throughout the day so if you see that my post is old by a few days don’t be afraid to hmu
I enjoy gaming (usually single player and campaign driven games since that’s like 80% of my roster but I do play online comp games too sometimes) and read too. Recently got into self help for some reason lmao and enjoy listening to podcasts as well.
Film enthusiast also. Particularly love the sci fi horror genre but I’m open to loads of others too. If you have a favorite film, chances are I’ve already seen it 🤷‍♂️
And yeah, love the gym for the most part. Gave myself eternal body dysmorphia. If you go to the gym then you’re either gonna get it soon or already have it so let’s talk and we can cry over it together lol.
And one more thing, I love Lego. Huge collector of the batman sets idk why this feels important to mention
Hope this blossoms into something long term and maybe we can vc or whatever floats your boat. Don’t be afraid to slide in a dm‼️

We’ve been exclusive for four months now and it’s been close to six months since our first date. My gf hosted a breakfast for her friends when her sister was in town. Her sister had hinted me that my gf’s friends are a lot to handle. I didn’t really had the context so I didn’t give it much thought. At the breakfast there were 8-10 people and other than introducing each other anyone barely talked to me and tried to have a conversation. Out of these 10 people two were her best friends and all her friends have known each other for 10-12 years. I felt very insecure after and I did discuss this with my gf. She said it might be a one off situation but they’re not like this. Met them all again at a birthday dinner party and the birthday person didn’t even make an eye contact with me neither her husband who hosted the dinner. Other than exchanges of hi how are you nothing more. I’m very hurt by this and to top this my gf asked to go out for a pool day with the same group and I said I’m not going cause I feel unwelcomed which hurts my self respect. She was okay with it but she still ended up going. Idk for some reason this action by her is making me overthink she doesn’t validate my feelings. I’ve made her meet my friends and they’ve been nothing but sweet to her. Having genuine conversations and getting to know her so they can give their opinion on stuff I might not be noticing. I feel this is important for your friends to do at least subtly. Her friends doesn’t seem to be interested in her partner at all and me being asked to go to things with her where I know I’ll not be acknowledged seems very demanding. And when she still ends up going my ego is getting hurt.
What am I missing here? Or am I overthinking and making this too big of a deal? If someone disrespects my partner I’d seriously evaluate my friendship with them. If my friends don’t want the best for me why even go out with them.

It's been a feeling I've had for a long time. I know logically that it doesn't make sense and that things don't work like that, but it's happened too much. Especially on or around my birthday. I've had a friend fall and need stitches on my birthday, I've had one get accidentally set on fire going too close to a tiki torch. I was essentially kicked out of a school I went to because of my disability (long story, it was a private school so we weren't really sure what the legality of that is, and didn't want me going somewhere they died want me even if we could force them). I've had the typical experiences of being forgotten by family or friends, invited people to parties or hangouts nobody came to.
But my luck isn't only bad on my birthday, at this point things have gotten comically bad, one thing after another before I've even had time to recover. A pet recently had to be put down, his brother was showing signs of the same issues THAT DAY. And he's had to have 2 surgeries already that I really can't afford, and literally less than a day after the surgery it looks like it's back and I'm crushed that I spent a grand of money I don't have begging and pleading to help him because I can't lose another so soon, and it was all for nothing. I've had a series of failed relationships, including a long term girlfriend who started dropping L-bombs and then ghosted me completely, I went on a couple dates after that, even ones I thought went really well and poof, they ghosted me too. And one of the people who ghosted me ended up pulling some cruel prank on me a while after. I started seeing someone recently I really liked, and despite us working really well together there a re other complications that make it pretty clear we will never be a thing. A friend brought me out to distract me from the BS? I drop my phone and the screen shatters while we are out. I scheduled a tattoo as a birthday gift to myself before my second pet started having rapidly spreading health issues that I knew were going to cripple me financially, and I have someone who's helping me with that but won't be able to for a while, the day I was gonna get the tattoo it had to be canceled for unrelated reasons qnd pushed off, she already made the design and set asside a day for my appointment so I'd hate to cancel know, especially when I really really wanted this one thing for myself, but id hate to just keep chucking expenses on my card.
Oh and it gets so much better, I come to pick up some food from my mom today, who tells me my dad probably has cancer. He's getting the tests done tomorrow and they're saying that even if it is cancer it's a very slow moving one, but he's already in his 80s...
I legitimately feel cursed, I feel poisonous, like anything that makes me happy just keeps slipping through my fingers small or large, and all I do is bring suffering to the people around me, weather it's directly because seeing all this shit keep happening is causing them pain when they can't help, or honestly sometimes I feel like my luck is contagious and bad things start happening to people's who try and get close to me.
I had a confrontation with my girlfriend who ghosted me after like a month had passed to air things out and she basically admitted that she doesn't really have an excuse, that she loves me but my feelings can be catchy, and she's got too much going on in her life right now to be able to handle my pain amd need for support on top of that, and was too cowardly to tell me this and face the facts.
I couldn't even bring myself to be mad. I was just numb. I feel cold and I feel alone, like everything is on my shoulders and it's all on the verge of falling apart if not actively doing so. It's never enough. People keep telling me I'm so strong for managing all of this but I'm tired. I don't want to be strong anymore. I just want to be happy. I just want to feel at peace and have SOMETHING in my life that I don't think is going to crumble at my touch.
It's been plaguing my mind. I know it doesn't make logical sense but I just can't shake the feeling that the universe is out to get me, or that I'm being punished for something, the idea that I'm being punished for trying to be happy or thinking I deserve to be keeps coming up. I know it does make logical sense but every time I think I've reached my limit or found SOMETHING to enjoy about life some other huge curveball heads my way. I'm just so tired and I don't know how much more of it I can handle.
I know I have certain privileges and advantages others don't, I know there are people out there with far worse lives than me but that doesn't change how burnt out and empty I feel. I feel like I have nothing left in me and I just keep being squeezed for more and more, i keep pushing, keep trying, but what choice do I have?

My husband and I were high school sweethearts and got married very young (I was 19), but more on that later.
For now, backstory: we both come from rather toxic families and are both black sheep. The difference being I realized early on and my husband, being very sweet and naïve at times, didn’t realize his until I started pointing it out. My intentions were never to alienate his family, however, I’ve never liked the way they treated him. Especially his mother’s side.
One of the biggest examples that comes to mind was how he worked over the summer for his Aunt one year before we even met, and instead of giving the money to him, the money was given to his mom‘s parents who kept it in an account “for him“ that he couldn’t access. Later, they bought him a car with it, but put it in their name. When I found out, I immediately pointed out that that was kind of messed up, it’s nice that he got a car, but that money should’ve been given to him and at the very least the car should have been in his name. But as he usually does, he chose to see the bright side of things, so for the most part he was just happy that he had a car. Fast-forward a year or two, and he was driving up most weekends to visit me in college when he wasn’t working (about 1 1/2 hours each way, so not very far by Texas standards), when his grandparents decided that they didn’t like that and they tried to stop him, but that argument didn’t last very long and they relented. It wasn’t until they started telling him that he couldn’t visit his dad using the car that things really got dicey.
And it’s not like his dad lived very far, he lived in the same neighborhood as his mom, and in the same neighborhood that we had grown up in. And this time they would not relent, they absolutely despise his father. The divorce was messy and even though neither is completely blameless, she definitely had the worst offenses. Just trust me on that. Since then, it’s like she never learned how to be an adult and has been a perpetual 16-year-old, always complaining about everything and with her parents always holding the purse strings (though you could argue it’s always been that way, her parents paid for her schooling to be a dance major and she never did anything with that, they defended her bad decisions during the divorce, paid the mortgage on her large house afterwards, and even now after expressing how much she doesn’t enjoy being around her parents, she refuses to leave and still lives with a family member).
Anyways, after his grandparents threatened to take away the car (which he used for work as a pizza delivery man and obviously his mom didn’t stand up for him) if he tried to visit his dad, he let his dad know and I helped him move out of his mom‘s house that night while she was at work. It made him terribly unhappy at first, especially to leave his younger siblings behind, but he knew what they were doing was wrong, and he was over 18 and thats simply a line you don’t cross. His dad baught him a car to use.
It should be noted that he likely would not have said anything to his father or moved out if I hadn’t pushed him to, and that’s probably why a good portion of his family aren’t really big fans of mine. Even several years after we were married and possibly even to this day, they think I make all of the decisions in our relationship and force him to do what makes me happy even if he doesn’t want to, which of course is not the case, we discuss and agree on every major decision. When I was pregnant with our son, our first child, we were at his dad‘s mom‘s house and I was often sitting and asking him to get things for me and the like and he ended up going to get food with one of his sisters and she literally told him that she didn’t like how I was constantly asking him to do things and I wasn’t doing anything for myself. The pregnancy was very hard on me, I LOST 11 lbs and had to work the whole time and had no paid leave, so yes I tried to relax as much as I could. These are just a few examples of their behavior, his mother and her parents are also often emotionally and psychologically manipulative and abusive, comparing him to his cousins which they often consider “more successful“ especially since he decided he didn’t want to be a doctor and wanted to work in a lab instead, and anytime he tries to argue back with his mom she does the whole “I guess I’m just a horrible mom“ thing. Something I am very well familiar with in my own life. Needless to say, I am not the biggest fan of his family.
I did one year of my university before I decided it wasn’t the right path for me and about that time he was about finished with community college and was looking to go to university next. He ended up getting excepted into the university that I had gone to, but didn’t really want to move into the dorms as someone who was older than most freshman, but also couldn’t afford an apartment on his own. So we decided that we would get married and move up there together, we were already engaged as he proposed to me on my 18th birthday. It was the perfect set up as being under the same roof as my mother again really sucked.
I don’t quite remember why we decided to get married three months from that point, it was kind of stressful. But during that time him and his mother had another huge falling out, of course with her parents being on her side, and the deal with the car was still fresh in everyone’s minds. After that I didn’t want her at the wedding, or her parents, and while it did upset him a bit(notice a trend? He is very sweet and has a tender heart and is a recovering people-pleaser) he agreed that it would just be unnecessary drama.
It was a very small wedding as my parents gave me $2000 and I used half of that on a weekend honeymoon and the other half to cover the cupcakes and the photographer (who was an old friend of ours from high school). My youth pastor who at this point also knew my (soon to be) husband was the officiant and graciously let us use the foyer the youth building free of charge for the ceremony. This was a small neighborhood church so the room wasn’t very big but we weren’t inviting a ton of people so we were fine with it, especially since it was mostly windows and it was pretty nice especially since we didn’t have to pay for it. We ended up inviting both sets of my parents, my sister and her small family, and my little sister and my mom‘s parents. (note the parents, siblings, and my closest grandparents) In the end, after his mother begged, we did end up letting her come, and then of course his father came and his siblings and his father‘s mom. (Note the parents, siblings, and his closest grandparent). Our closest friends were there which was 6 people, and then my small group from church had spent the night decorating the foyer for the ceremony so of course they were invited too. The numbers were slightly skewed in my favor as both of my parents have remarried, my sister was married with 2 kids, and both of my grandparents were still alive at the time. So yes, technicality he had less people there, but he told me that he didn’t mind after I pointed this out to him back when we were talking about who to invite. And his family really didn’t like this. We both have large families. Only mine was scattered to the four winds and his lived exclusively in Texas. If his mom‘s parents hadn’t been treating him like dirt I happily would’ve invited them too, and seeing as I didn’t even invite my step sisters who had been in my life since I was two, I didn’t think it would be appropriate to invite his cousins, especially since the room was plenty full as it was. Again, he understood and was OK with all of this.
In the end, it was very sweet and small and the reception just took place at one of our favorite restaurants.
To this day, he still catches flack for more of his family not being invited, especially is mom’s parents, and we are always told by third parties about things his family say about us and especially me. (one of them even called me a gold digger, even though at the time was working at Domino’s. His mom told us she was the only one who “stood up for me” in that moment, but the best response she could come up with was “my son doesn’t have money“).
I have no qualms about what we did. We have since moved halfway across the country, recently celebrated our 8 year anniversary, and are very happy. The things they say still weigh on us though, so I was hoping to prove a point with this post.
So, are we the assholes for not inviting most of my husband’s family to the wedding?