So, this is really long but I think it's worth the read as there has been nothing else like this in the Gtag community before. I have been working on this almost every day since Valentines Day Update 2022. I have changed it, restarted it, and updated it for every new Gtag update. I will make Updates to the in the future as it seems like we are getting more updates and more maps in the future.
Updates are not always literal, for example, the Human Tag Update only shows that humans exist or once existed in the Gorilla Tag world. The Monkes are not literally wearing masks that resemble humans. This logic applies to every update unless it's just cosmetics or a new map. Also, it's really weird at the first few Chapters so just stick with it or skip ahead. Ask any question in the comments about why I put the things I put and if you want evidence.
Most recent Updates to this are in Chapters 8, 14, 15, and 16
BI = Before Infection AI = After Infection
Prologue: Gods
4,500,000,000 BI - 212,001 BI
When Earth is formed, two gods form with it to rule over the planet. Mother Nature, the god of life and nature, and the Illuminati, the god of chaos and ice. Mother Nature usually takes the form of a 3,000-foot-tall tree called the Tree of Life, while the Illuminati takes the form of an ice pyramid with an ice eye in the center. Mother Nature creates life to populate Earth while the Illuminati constantly tries to kill it.
Chapter 1: The Rise and Fall of Humanity
212,000 - 200,001 BI
Humans, the most powerful species on Earth has cut down the Tree of Life and taken Mother Nature out of control. This leaves the Illuminati to slowly creep into the modern society. Some Humans form a cult around it, and they are the most powerful people on Earth. That means, the Illuminati can tell them to do something, and they can affect the most powerful nations on the planet.
Eventually, the Illuminati tricks the humans into fighting each other. The biggest nations on the world begin to go to war with some of the biggest possible nukes. They destroy the surface of the Earth causing it to go into a nuclear ice age. The Illuminati, an ice god, now has full control over Earth. Anytime life appears, it almost instantly dies. However, some humans were able to survive and eventually, the ice age comes to an end, and no god is in control of Earth.
Chapter 2: Monke
200,000 BI - 1,001 BI
After hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, Humans have evolved into a new species called Monkes. Monkes are gorilla-like apes that can survive the harshest of conditions. Their diet consists of grass and bugs. Some bugs and patches of grass have survived over the past few million years.
Mother Nature has started to take back control of the world as she creates the Tree of Life and a whole forest around it in a crater from a nuke. Many Monkes travel to this crater and end up being trapped as the forest is on a lower level then the rest of the crater.
Chapter 3: Rise of the Monkes
1,000 BI - 601 BI
All other Monkes go extinct meaning that the only remaining Monkes are in this crater. One day the Monkes decide to finally make the jump as they all jump down into the forest. Most of them die, but the few that survive are left without legs. About 100 Monkes are alive and they quickly learn to use their arms like legs.
Unfortunately, just like there Human ancestors, the first thing they do is cut down the Tree of Life and use its wood. This leaves Mother Nature powerless again. The wood from the Tree of Life will last them for thousands of years. They build bridges, tree houses, ramps, and a gazebo in the forest. All the children of the surviving Monkes also don't have legs making it now a fundamental part of their species.
They hollow out the inside of the Tree of Life's stump and start to build tunnels out of it. These tunnels reach out to all over the crater. One tunnel leads to a small set of canyons covered in sand. Another tunnel leads to a massive flat, rocky, landscape in the other side of the crater. The final tunnel goes straight down into the ground until it hits a large cave filled with crystals.
They build mines underneath the cave and harvest the large crystals. These crystals are radioactive because of the ancient nukes. The Monkes harvest the crystals and start to use them in technology. They create lamps, litghtposts, lights, signs, and even their greatest accomplishment a computer.
Chapter 4: The City
600 BI - 30 BI
The large, flat, rocky landscape they discovered has a lot of useful recourses in it. Over the next few hundred years they build an entire city with large skyscrapers and new technology that is widespread. There are thousands of Monkes now living in The City. The forest and canyons have become vacation places for most Monkes, and the homes of the most rich or important Monkes.
The Monkes decide to have a leader, so a rich family decides to step up and become the royals of the Monkes. There king is named Yorick, and their queen is named Lucy. They both live in a basement-like area rights next to the main entrance into The City. Queen Lucy also turns the canyons into an industrial area and improves quality of life for the main populous.
King Yorick and Queen Lucy have a son named Blue. By the time Prince Blue was 13 he already starting his dream job of being a scientist.
Chapter 5: The Hunt War
29 BI - 21 BI
A tunnel is dug in city after, and they dig all the way until the edge of the crater. The walls of the crater look like large mountains from down below and they are extremely cold. They accidentally cause an avalanche, and the base of the walls are filled with snow and ice. From this avalanche comes the god of chaos and ice, the Illuminati. The Illuminati causes many snowstorms and causes a sort of Ice Age.
Queen Lucy tries to keep everyone calm and civil. However, the Illuminati is able to influence the Monkes minds and causes chaos and destruction to happen all throughout Monke society. After years of pure chaos, the Monkes are able to split into two factions, The Monkes, and the Smiles. They also are helped by newly discovered species that came with the Ice Age. These species are Penguins, Polar Bears, Snow Owls, and many other species that live in the cold. These species were the only survivors of the ancient human war that nearly killed Earth. Over the past few hundred thousand years, they have all migrated across the world, and have worked together even if they were from different poles of the Earth.
The royal scientist, Prince Blue has created many new technologies before. During the war, he creates a Hunt Watch. A Hunt Watch is a watch that targets the nearest enemy to you. Once you touch that enemy with the watch on, they turn into an Ice Monke and can easily be shattered to bits. Over time, this technology allowed them to win the war and bring somewhat order back.
Chapter 6: The Ice Monkes
20 BI - 1 BI
Many Ice Monkes were not killed in the war, usually they were turned into Ice Monkes but were able to get away before being shattered. The Ice Monkes are still just regular Monkes except they are made of ice, can't go near heat, and are fragile. Even though the war was over, the Ice Monkes were still treated horribly. In this already hard time period, the Ice Monkes had absolutely nothing. Many veterans of the war still had their Hunt Watches, causing many more Ice Monkes to be formed.
Meanwhile the Illuminati builds snow castles for itself in the forest. This means that the mountain base was safe to enter now. To lighten the spirit of this dark time they built a large waterslide in this new area. Many murders and crimes still happen throughout The City, but one day it gets out of hand. King Yorick is assonated, his head was chopped off in the middle of The City. The now lonely Queen Lucy keeps his skull in her home.
Chapter 7: The Infection
0 AI - 3 AI
Ever since the bombs dropped hundreds of thousands of years ago, a volcano has slowly been forming in the crater. Now, the volcano has fully formed and is erupting. All the snow and ice are melted, the Illuminati is gone, the caves are flooded, and the mines are caved in. The base of the walls still has snow but lots of it melts and reshapes its surface.
In the lava was an extremophile virus that can survive the lavas heat. It is radioactive and spreads very quickly. This virus is called the Infection, and many Monkes get it. The infected Monkes get resistant to lava, they get stronger, they get faster, there skin is replaced with lava, and they have an uncontrollable instinct to hunt down normal Monkes and infect them.
The infected spread everywhere but The City is able to be kept safe and nobody can enter or leave The City. After a few years the volcano stops erupting, but the Infection stays around.
Chapter 8: Calming Down
4 AI - 6 AI
Prince Blue finds a cure for the Infection, some Monkes are given jobs to specifically leave The City and cure a ton of infected Monkes. They start doing this and it actually works. The cure is called Kai Juice. Anytime someone enters The City, they are given Kai Juice just in case. It is no longer dangerous to leave The City as if you get infected you can immediately drink some Kai Juice and go back to normal.
The caves and mines are drained and dug up. The old caves and mines completely caved in and revealed even more caves underneath. They start mining again and find loads of dinosaur bones along with a 40-foot-long crystal. Prince Blue has a son named Pink, but unfortunately during such great times, Queen Lucy dies of old age. Blue becomes King Blue and Pink becomes Prince Pink. There is a massive funeral for Queen Lucy that spans from The City all the way to the forest. They burn her body and put her ashes in a vase beneath a grave.
Chapter 9: Exploration
7 AI - 17 AI
A large tunnel is found on the forest walls, they follow it, and it leads out of the crater. Just on the other side of the crater is a beach covered in ancient, broken, human buildings. King Blue sees this and is the first to figure out that there was a complex civilization before them.
A few years later, they have made boats to sail out into the ocean and have built shops to supply the ships on shore. The ocean and beach are also home to many new animals. Meanwhile, King Blue discovered that if an infected Monke stays infected for multiply years, they harden and become rock. When they harden, they can't infect anything, but they can't be cured either. They also get even stronger, even faster, and their rock skin is almost impenetrable.
Chapter 10: The Tree of Life
18 AI - 47 AI
King Blue has been studying everything he can since he became king, and he has noticed that it is possible to revive the Tree of Life. For hundreds of years the Tree of Life's stump has been sitting in the forest, so King Blue is going to be the first one to do anything about it.
Over the next decade they nurture the stump and help it constantly until the Tree of Life has fully grown back. The only problem is that the Tree of Life is almost a mile tall, and they can't climb up that. King Blue and his engineering team spend the next few years building a rocket. When they are finished, they put it in the middle of The City and launch it. On the rocket is a team of explorers and engineers to work on top of the Tree of Life.
When on top of it they build large platforms along with massive rocks wheels and other things powered by winds. When they come back down, months later, they tell everyone what they built. The rocket becomes the main form of transportation in between The City and the Tree of Life’s top. The public uses that rocket to get up there because now people live on top of the Tree of Life in a place called Cloudtown.
Chapter 11: Calm Before the Storm
48 AI - 54 AI
King Blue and his team start to develop a new rocket after realizing how well they built the first rocket. The second rocket they build is not in The City and much larger. They build this rocket for years before eventually, it is done. It launched, flew out of the atmosphere, and took a 3-day journey through space until they landed on the Moon.
The Illuminati has created a being named Humbug. Humbug appears as a 30-foot-tall snowman. Humbug also has the abilities to change size, change the size of other things, transform, and transform other things. He takes the form of an old Monke named Santa Claus. In the form of Santa, he would give out presents to everyone and create ridiculously large birthday cakes for everyone. Everyone loved him and had no idea of his true form. He would use his powers every now and then to shrink people down and kidnap them. Over time he would slowly transform them into children's toys that he would give out to the people. However, the Santa form broke down over time. His red clothes and white beard becoming gray. But the public still loved and cherished him.
Chapter 12: Humbug
55 AI - 62 AI
Humbug reveals his true form and takes over The City. He shrinks down King Blue and Prince Pink. He then mutilates and transforms them into monsters called the Monkeyes. He traps them in a miniature maze and throws Monkes in there to be killed by their previous leaders. Everything is covered in snow once again by the Illuminati, but he still is not fully in control. Humbug takes over everything the Monkes have made before climbing his way up the Tree of Life. Humbug makes it up there and destroys Cloudtown in an attempt to take control over the Tree of Life. This does not work.
Over a few years, the Monkes have been able to create something called a Tesla Coil. The Tesla Coil is a machine that can take away Humbugs powers and use it against him. Humbug's powers are stripped away, and the Monkes take back control. Humbug is shrunken down and trapped in a miniature maze. The Monkes also start to use his powers to make themselves super big. However, with King Blue and Prince Pink turned into monsters, and Humbug overthrown, the Monkes have no leader.
Chapter 13: The Giants War
63 AI - 75 AI
The Monkes have been living peacefully for a few years, but eventualy, the different sizes start to look down on each other. This leads into the Giants War, where the different Monke sizes fight for 9 years. Eventually, the Monke population dwindle so much, that the war ended. The Monkes that did not change their size did not interact with the Monkes that changed their size. Now, tiny Monke skulls and giant Monke skulls are littered everywhere, and the only surviving Monkes are the ones that never changed their size.
Chapter 14: Peace
76 AI - 90 AI
The Tree of Life grows massively and repairs the damage done by Humbug years ago. Countless new branches and huge leaves sprout from its trunk. This allows the Monkes to make their way back up to the treetop with a newly repaired rocket. Cloudtown is rebuild, slowly, but rebuilt nonetheless. This is called, New Cloudtown.
A year after the Giants War ends, the skulls and bodies are cleared out. The City was practically empty as most buildings were either destroyed, damaged, or tilted over in the war. Many Monkes just went to New Cloudtown to survive as going anywhere else other than The City would mean being attacked by Infected Monkes. Also, during this time, the mutated monsters that were once King Blue and Prince Pink were killed by another Monke for sport. Their souls go on to become ghosts that wander the city. King Blue's soul becomes a ghost called the Ghost Wanderer, and Prince Pink's soul becomes a ghost called the Ghost Lurker.
The population has grown more, and the Monkes have created sports to celebrate the era of peace. These sports are Hockey, Watersoccer, and Paintbrawl. This happens during the fall where Lucy's spirit flies out from her grave and starts playing with some random civilian Monkes. She then reunites with the souls of her son and grandson in the forms of the Ghost Wanderer and the Ghost Lurker.
Chapter 15: Advancements
91 AI - 100 AI
A new type of plant is found in New Cloudtown. This plant sprouts large leaves with handle-like stems. These plants are called Glider Vines. The leaves of Glider Vines are used as gliders to fly around New Cloudtown.
The Monkes are unable to explore anymore. The ocean is too vast, they never got back from explorers they sent into the ocean, and the crater walls are too high to climb. So, they spend a few years creating an artificial environment that they can change on a will. They do this by using a Tesla Coil that harness Humbug's powers. In the first testing of it, they try to bring back the vast cave systems they found hundreds of years ago. It was an attempt to make infinite recourses. It turns out as a failure, everything is extremely broken and blocky. After much testing, they have it so it could be a tundra, a swamp, an ancient temple, and basically anything else. This underground, artificial environment is called Rotation.
They decide to excavate a larger area for Rotation. They then finish their original plan of recreating that same ancient cave system. This time it works, and it looks just like how it did hundreds of years ago. However, during the excavating of the larger area, the long dead Queen Lucy's vase finds itself in Rotation. Minor Monkes enter this cave and start mining, but when they discover Lucy's vase, they open it. From her long dead ashes rises the confused, lost, and insane spirit of Lucy. She has been trapped underground in the dark for almost a century now and has gone insane. The minors call her the Burnt Lucy, a dark reflection of their long dead Queen.
Chapter 16: The Return of Humbug
101 AI - ??? AI
The usage of the Tesla Coil attracts Humbug. He is able to escape the miniature maze the Monkes trapped him in, and slowly make his way to Rotation. When he arrives, he is able to get some of his powers back from the Tesla Coil, but he is noticed by the Monkes.
One of the first things Humbug does is kidnap three Monkes and turns them into small monsters called Monkeyes. He places them in the tiny maze that he was once trapped in.

Reserved AWD 11/23/2019
Foundation Series order submitted 3/13/2024
Delivery notification 5/09/2024
Delivery Scheduled 5/10/2024
Sharing my experience as other experiences greatly helped me out.
On the day of, delivery technician noticed multiple deep scratches on the tailgate and rescheduled me a week out. I had already done the paperwork for insurance and swapped cars, so I told them Ill take it as is and come back at a later time.
Brought my wife out as I knew from other deliveries it was good to have a second eye. We noticed additional scratches. According to the technician, more serious ones are measured by if they can feel the depth with their fingernail. There were a couple on rear fender, driver door, front lid. There were other scratches that weren’t that deep but popped in the sun.
They mentioned that like that tailgate, deeper scratches can’t be buffed out and they would need to replace the panel. Interior was dirty but I’ve seen worse. Weather mats were thrown in the bed. One thing I couldn’t get over was an employee’s bubblegum was stuck to one of the “new” mats. Bright blue, on top of black. Scratches I could get over, the gum was unprofessional in my opinion. I requested it to be replaced so they ordered new mats for me.
For the panels, I saw online from others that they might mess it up even more trying to buff it out, or one panel would look different than the rest. I didn’t want to risk it and based off past experiences, I asked for alternative compensation instead. He said it shouldn’t be a problem.
Delivery tech said he would create an expedited appt for me, assigned to a service center closer to home, to have all the issues resolved, including the tailgate. He says usually there are a couple tailgate replacements in stock and because of my late in the day delivery, they had already replaced it to another earlier delivery. Delivery tech went away and said he would be right back after putting in all the notes, never came back. We were standing around waiting for about 30 minutes until another employee said we were good to go. They were closing at this time. Weird but alright we went on our way.
I know that Tesla gives 100 miles to log anything from delivery. I expected the tech to have completed the notes. 2 days later, no notes, no appointment. So at 99 miles (50 from drive back on service center) I made an appointment with my local center, included as much as I could that I wrote down myself and told them to reference the delivery center.
Scheduled and dropped my car off to have it wrapped. The local service center gave me a call to schedule service. I asked if this was regarding delivery appt and if they had the notes. They mentioned they haven’t heard anything from the other service center and are just following up from the appt I made myself. No notes had been received on any of the other scratches, tailgate or talks of compensation. I basically told them to check in with the delivery center as they recorded everything on their tablet. For some reason, they were not able to obtain any details other than the tailgate issues marked before delivery and asked me to come in to look at everything.
Had the wrap job stopped, brought it into service center, basically did another delivery appointment note taking procedure. They wanted to try to buff every scratch (even though we agreed at delivery tailgate was to be replaced) and take who knows how long to even the surfaces and basically do ground up evaluation. I told them it has already been done and we are backtracking and reiterated my ask.
I had previous settlements from tesla before for a M3 and MY, where the car went back and forth and after half a year they ended up settling, arguably it costed them more trying to fix issues they caused. Every time the car went in, it came out worse. I told them I just want to be on my way and am fine with the current scratches. They were able to offer me service credit. Took it and went to get it wrapped. Tailgate scheduled nearly a month out because parts wouldn’t come on time, even though the other delivery center said id be prioritized. Didn’t wrap tailgate for now.
All in all, delivery experience was lacking but better than the others I’ve had. The product was better than the rest I’ve received. I honestly expected worse. I’ve had a model 3 2019 where the side mirror panel was upside down at delivery. Model Y 2022 where gaskets were coming off, trunk panel crooked (battery cooked after 500 miles. All among other things.
I would say for anyone taking delivery, issues are not notated until you see it yourself. Appointments are not made for you until you see it on the app. Triple check and confirm or you’re going to be in a world of headache. I’m experienced dealing with the centers and still went over a bump on the road. Thankfully Tesla backs their product. The managers reach out to me, employees have always been helpful (at my center). Tesla resolutions always get things done. This is one of the biggest reasons I stick with Tesla, I’ve had other dealerships and manufacturers tell me go to kick rocks.
I wanted to keep the original look of the truck and did PPF Matte. I like it as it turned it into a more titanium look compared to the original. Gloss looked a bit too shiny for me. Went with a wrap because I didn’t want to maintain it as much, fingerprints, swirl of scratches popping in the sun like other trucks. PPF has saved my other vehicles from damages across mountains in the Midwest.
Love the space and utility of the truck. Feels and handles like a Toyota Tundra. Bigger than I thought it would be. Very nimble, great with turns. Finding parking is difficult. People wave to you, kids scream. Not sure why there is so much space from the front windshield to the steering wheel but the frunk is so small. After Matte PPF, fingerprints no longer an issue. Don’t really like all the attention it gets, people looking into the truck etc. Scared someone will vandalize it. I still enjoy it though, probably will more when there’s a lot more on the road. Going to use it for business purposes across a couple states, hopefully the battery doesn’t pop like the model y.
Forgot to mention, many people were trying to get into the vehicle as I was taking pictures with the delivery tech. Even though it has a sign with my name on the front, 5 different families came by trying to go inside and they did touch up the truck.
Didn’t have a chance to take it out yet but had some backyard “offroad” shots haha.
Included are pictures of Delivery, scratches, prewrapped, and wrapped.
Big thanks to all the other owners here posting their experience. Definitely helped me make my decisions and steps along the way.
https://imgur.com/a/cybertruck-UwpmPPc

So I have a 2001 Tundra 2wd 4.7. I’ve seen some people do a 4x4 conversion and it’s a pain due to all the electronics. Would I be able to put a manual transfer case in and avoid the pain part of the conversion??? Similar to a divorced transfer case idea??

Nature of Humanity Ch 67 A NoP fic
Under Pressure Part 10
A Fanfic of u/SpacePaladin15’s work “The Nature of Predators.” Thank you for the story!
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Memory transcription subject: Silvera, Factory 13 Manager
Date [standardized human time]: November 4th, 2136
If it wasn't for the clearly artificial sky above my head someone could possibly convince me I was outside in a new park. The neon blue screen with a white dot to represent the sun was nothing like the actual pale gray visage a mile above. Yet, it did have an enjoyable warmth to it.
A smooth artificial wind swept through the saplings ensuring that they would develop healthy stress wood. It also pleasantly cooled the fur of anyone in here, providing a nice little respite from the heater simulating the sun's unbearable hatred of us. Fuck you fake sun!
Any flora used to decorate the park would be exotic to Frozen Mountain, even if it came from the nearby tundra, but my humans decided to do something interesting. While they had covered most of the ground with a soft short-growing Terran clover, they chose to make the rest of the decorative plants functional. All of the saplings were different types of fruit trees that, when mature, would be free for anyone to harvest as much as they want. Even the decorative topiary isn't hardy tasteless plants, but berry bushes that would provide a variety of sweet treats relatively soon.
Agurcorp was more than happy to allow its failed startup out here to be turned into a local park. Well, so long as they didn't have to pay for this expensive mistake of theirs. The Mayor was all too happy with this, especially since my humans were happy to let him have all the credit so long as they got to design the park. With voting season right around the corner, the Mayor that ‘Brought life to this blighted land’ was a shoo-in to get re-elected. Or would be if he also wasn't ‘The idiot who allowed predators into the city.’
With everything that's happened I am still a bit surprised at everyone currently enjoying the park. A small herd of Venlil are exercising in the open field. A family of Gojids are walking along the cobblestone path. All the while, some humans are playing a very weird game of throwing a round plastic plate into chain nets. It's almost as if this city didn't have two separate riots on the same day.
The sound of wheels traveling across a bumpy path caught my attention. I glanced across the way to see an embarrassed-looking John driving an electric wheelchair over to me. His eyes locked onto mine before quickly switching to the ground. He tried to laze in a chair designed to enforce good posture and looked rather silly as he adjusted himself.
He came to a stop just a foot away from where I sat, “Hey Silv… I, uh… I don't actually need the wheelchair but Mikvia threatened to break my legs if I didn't use it, so I'm just humoring her.”
Oh, don't freaking tell me. Why are humans like this… “John… you were hospitalized with a punctured lung. Sure, doctors have some miracles they can perform these days, but you know you shouldn't be stressing yourself by walking.”
He huffed, “Please, I'm fine. Really. It wasn't as serious as everyone is making it out to be.”
I thumped my hind paw against the ground, “John.”
He threw his hands into the air with a huff, “I'm in the damn wheelchair ain't I? Gawd…”
He grasped his nose before calming down, “I apologize. Shouldn't have raised my voice like that. I mean… I am using the wheelchair and not lifting stuff. Doctor's orders. They even said getting out in this park would be fine. Said it might even help!”
We let out a deep sigh together. I hopped down from my bench and back up onto his lap, “Let's go for a ride… while we figure… us out…”
I could see John's guard drop as the exhaustion crept back onto his face, “...alright...” He pressed his controls forward, and we slowly began our first lap of the park.
John wrapped one of his lanky ape arms around me like a fleshy seatbelt and I laid my head on his chest appreciating the contrast of his warmth with the cool artificial breeze. I could have slept like this. The beating of his heart was rhythmic, and his deep breaths sounded a bit like waves washing up on a shore.
I even heard his heart quicken as I cleared my throat, “So… we aren't really dating are we?”
His exhaustion was quickly replaced with unease as he started to fidget a little, “I'm sorry…”
I held his hand and stared into the ocean blue eyes of his, “Don't be sorry. I think we were both drunk when we agreed to go on a date…”
He shook his head, “I still should have said something before then.”
It wasn't like I couldn't have taken the initiative and talked to him sooner too, “I know you were going through a lot. Actually, I know you still are… I'm really only able to guess but… Are you one of the types that thinks Xeno-dating is weird?”
He looked ashamed as he scrambled to smooth things over, “I- No- well, yes- but- it's just… ok. Let me start over… alright… yeah… so… uhm… the thing is… how do I put this… it sounds bad… well, it is bad… it’s just…”
My tail wagged involuntarily at the rather cute display of embarrassment radiating from John. I leaned in and let him have a doey-eyed look to help heap the embarrassment on.
It felt like John tried to stop the next words from rolling out of his mouth, “Sometimes I have trouble thinking of you all as people.”
John came to a complete stop as I just stared at him wide-eyed. My brain struggled to grasp what he was saying and the implications of it. He cringed and covered his face with his hands, “Gawd, that sounds horrible. It's just… It's not as bad with you and the others… I talk to y’all a lot. It's easier for it to click that you are people too.”
I was desperately trying to see this from his angle, “Wha- why does this happen in the first place?”
His hands drug down his face trying to drag the flesh with it, “I think it’s cause you are always naked. Like your back brace helps a little bit, but still everything else is… That and I hear your voice and the chip in my head then gives it meaning. Like its disjointed. Then it's the way your body language works and- and- fuck. Just…. Fuck me man. I don't even think that's all that's wrong with me. It’s just… like you look, sound, and smell like animals. It's just not really what my mind had in place for aliens. So- like- ugh! Why can't I just explain it!?”
It's difficult to explain, but his words connected to a deep sad memory, “It's like everything is just too… slightly wrong…”
It felt like I had been whisked back decades to my own childhood. I could still smell the bleached halls of the Venlil orphanage on Nevis. My heart whimpered when the Sivkits who came to adopt me shuddered with fear and disgust. Their strange voices sounded slow as they spoke a strange version of Klipic. Like hearing a pale imitation of yourself, try and pretend to be just like you.
My eyes locked with his as I carried on “It’s like you look at them and a part of you knows what they are, but your brain just snaps back to… to what you think reality is.”
I could see a glimmer of hope well up with his tears, “Y-you know? I-Iv've felt like such a monster! How can I- How can I look them in the eyes when they took me in and say- say- that I can't see them as people sometimes!? After everything they've done for me?! They want to adopt me and I- I- I can't even!”
I wrapped my arms around his neck as he buried his face in mine. It felt like he could crush me with his arms, yet they held me gently. What was causing me pain was this damn back brace. The blasted thing was trying to force my arms down while it hunched me over. I wiggled out of John's embrace and ripped the freaking thing off and chucked it as far as I could before burying myself in his embrace again.
We held each other as he drew in shuddering breaths and let his emotions flow out. John’s grip eventually began to loosen and we both took a moment to calm down. I gently tugged at the shirt covering John's torso, “So… Us not wearing clothes constantly is… disconnecting for you?”
He nodded his head, “Y-yeah… It’s like… every person I have ever known wears clothes. Animals never wear clothes and at most wear like a collar or harness if someone owns them. Then a few months ago, a bunch of nudist aliens show up and… well, my brain lops them into the animal category and the translator isn't helping.”
I glanced down at my body and suddenly felt… exposed, “So now that I am no longer wearing clothes…”
He cringed, “You look more like a large rabbit thing than a person… when you had the brace on it helped a little, but you were on all fours… When you were wearing your weather suit and had your hood off, It felt like you were a person, just different.”
An idea crossed into my skull, “Ok then… so your brain attaches personhood with a level of nudity, body plan, and familiarity… take your shirt off and give it to me- Don't give me that look! I know you’re male and are far less sensitive about people seeing your nipples. So gimme.”
He begrudgingly took off his shirt, revealing a pelt of fur that caught me off guard. I shook off the confusion as I slipped his shirt overhead and stuck my arms through the sleeves. It immediately tried to slip down my body and off. Mostly due to how large the hole for his head is, but also due to my utter lack of true shoulders. Another gift of my freak mutation. The ability to walk upright as well as sprint on all fours like a fucking Arxur.
I bunched up the collar and knotted it on itself, solving the slipping issue. With a small twirl, I spun in a circle, “So how is this?”
A smile formed on his face, “You look adorable!”
I happily flicked my tail, “Is that girlfriend adorable or pet animal adorable?”
His grin beamed with happy, mischievous energy, “Little sister adorable.”
I stomped my hind paw again, “Wha- why?!”
He held out his arms and I hopped back into his embrace, “Its cause it's my shirt. Jamie would wear my clothes sometimes, and they were so baggy on him, and well… on you that's practically a sundress! … you’d look really nice in like… a yellow sundress with like a straw hat.”
My mind tried and failed to make an image to match his description, “Hrm… well… I wouldn't know where to even start getting a… sundress.”
John carried on like clothes shopping was a normal intergalactic thing, “You would have to go to a tailor and have it custom-made. Like you already had to adjust my shirt cause you don't have shoulders like we or the Gojids do.”
We sat in a comfortable silence as John started the wheelchair back on its path. I almost fell asleep in his arms before I asked, “So… Are we dating?”
John didn't hesitate to bend over and freaking bite the top of my head! I, rather fruitlessly, slapped my paws against his face as fast as I could and only managed to elicit a laugh from him. Jumping up, I got a mouth full of his cheek in my teeth.
I made sure not to crush as I mimicked what he had done to me back, “Ah! The turns! They've tabled! I'm sorry! We're dating! Augh!” I spit out the lump of flesh between my teeth and sat down rather proudly.
It was only then I looked around to see most of the nearby groups staring at us. As well as three silver suited flame whack jobs walking our way. One of them held up his paws to try and seem as big as possible, “YOU! PREDATORS! DON'T MOVE!”
John growled at them, “YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”
The trio froze in their steps and reached for weapons they didn't have. The boldest one took another step forward and shouted, “SHUT UP PREDATOR!”
John held his issued jacket up, letting the reflective emblem of the guild shine for all to see, “I WORK WITH YOU NUMB NUTS! I'M JOHN! ADOPTED SON OF YOUR FUCKING CHIEF! RING ANY BELLS?”
The trio halted in their tracks and the most skittish of them turned a one-eighty on their paws and began to walk away. The boldest one’s paws slowly dropped, “J-John?! I- I've never seen you without the mask or artificial pelt… wait! You're supposed to be in the hospital!”
Johns voice grew cold, “They said I could go out around the park so long as I mostly stayed in the chair. If it pleases you, you can talk to Loke. He's right over there with his wife and two kids. I bet he'd be thrilled to learn you three are going around accusing people of being predators.”
The bold moron took a fearful half step back, “D-d-d-d-don't twist my words! You bit her and she bit you back! I have witnesses! That's predatory!”
John leaned back and stroked the fur on my cheek, “No, it’s erotic.”
I could see the gears turning in the bold one's head grind, “What.”
John pressed his lips into my neck, “Ya know… sexy. It’s like… gently grooming your significant other's neck from behind but more playful.”
They looked revolted, “That's disgusting.”
John cocked his head to the side like a confused Gojid, “That’s odd.”
The look of revulsion quickly transitioned back to confusion, “What?”
A smirk grew on John's face as his fingers massaged into the sore muscles on my back, “It's just, that’s exactly what your mom said last night, but she grew to like it.”
I slapped my paws to my mouth to avoid laughing as the rage flared up in the bold one's eyes, “WHAT!?”
I let out a happy purr as John began to work at my sore muscles and utterly humiliate the idiot bothering us, “Yeeeeah. You weren't supposed to find out like this, but I'm your dad now.”
Their ears pinned back in rage, “You're lying to me.”
John waved a hand at our surroundings, “We are in a hermetically sealed park. There is no way for any significantly threatening animal to get in here. You are only here looking for trouble and I assure you, this will be looked into. Go clean your nose and keep it clean. Understood?”
They both tucked their tails, “Understood, sir.”
John nodded his head and calmed his tone, “Dismissed.”
As the trio of troublemakers left, we sat in relative silence as John continued to work away at the stress in my muscles. If you proved this was how humans prepared their food before eating it, I would argue that it's still worth it.
His rough voice messaged my ears, “Hey Silv?”
I stretched and enjoyed the pops my spine made as it took its natural shape, “Hrm?”
A hint of curiosity hung in his voice, “Why did you understand what I meant? Shouldn't… You've lived with aliens being a part of everyday life for… Like… ever right?”
I slumped against John and thought. Dredging up old memories that I almost wished I didn't have, “It was… a very long time ago. My doctor told me I was making up false memories to cover up a traumatic event and make it to where I was normal and everyone around me were the weird ones…”
I could hear John doubt my doctor's claims, “That sounds… fishy.”
Despite John's odd word choice, the meaning still fit perfectly, “It feels like it, but I just have no proof. I swear to you, I remember running along a beach, with my parents on two legs. Every Sivkit I knew as a child walked on two legs. It’s like… well…”
I grabbed John's hand to stop it from distracting me, “One day I woke up, and I was unbelievably cold. I thought I was a corpse. There was this strange… tentacle thing with bulgy eyes standing above me. His words didn't match his lips, but I understood him. It was terrifying.”
“He scooped me up and started running. Said I was in grave danger, and he was going to keep me safe. I didn't trust him one bit. He jumped into some strange ship and told me I had to be very quiet. The bad people would attack us if they heard either of us talking.”
“Eventually, he crashed the ship into something and pulled me out of it. I was surprised to see we had been on a submarine that entire time. That and the sky was the wrong color. I didn't even have an opportunity to think about it as he carried me to a weird looking vehicle that once again surprised me as a giant wall turned into a window.”
“I had never even heard of spaceships before, and I watched as we went up and just moved into space like it was nothing. He tried to calm me down, but he told me my parents were dead. I- just remember sobbing in his tentacles for hours. Eventually, I calmed down enough for him to play with me.”
“For a few days it was just me and him. Then we met up with another ship, and he left that one to drift in the void. He said we were meeting his friend Aylin on Nevis… a Venlil colony not too far from here, actually. I got to meet more aliens on that ship but Kalova- sorry that was the name of the Kolshian who took me out here. Kalova didn't want me to talk about anything to anyone. Said to just say I was his adopted daughter, and he just got a job on Nevis managing the new colony.”
“He never saw it. I didn't know what they were at the time but the Arxur attacked. They were trying to raid the colony and the Gojids and Venlil where desperately trying to protect it. I remember the alarm going off the second the ship’s captain announced we were leaving FTL. Kalova sprinted through the ship carrying me. He placed me in an escape pod just before that terrible lizard spotted us. He pulled the lever and my pod jettisoned down to the surface.”
“I was in that pod for three days before the Venlil found me and put me in an orphanage. Every time I met other Sivkits… they made my skin crawl. There's something wrong with all of them. I swear to you, we Sivkits are supposed to walk on two legs. We also aren't supposed to be that… stupid. Between how they talk being just… off, and the fact what they said was often either retarded or downright wrong, I couldn't ever feel like one of the so-called Grand Herd.”
“Eventually, I aged out. Graduated college, top of my class. And started working out here when they began to rebuild my plant after it burned down. That’s all there… Well, there is more, but It's not actually relevant to your question.”
John leaned down and kissed the top of my head, “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
I groomed the tip of his nose in return, “You're welcome. … Hey John?”
I could see a small bit of… hope in the back of his eyes, “Yes Silv?”
“Can you tell me about your past?”
He frowned as memories came back to him, yet he smiled still. “Yeah… it’s not a happy story either.”
I pressed myself into him, “Well… we can both be sad together, at least.”
John's hands began to absentmindedly work through my fur again, “Yeah… That doesn't sound as bad.”
___/\___
Important question, do you want a chapter dedicated to John retelling his story? Or would you like it smash cut out in favor of more of their first real date? I am not sure how I want to do it and am happy with both, so please let me know.
John and Silvera finally had the relationship talk! Woooooo! John's confessed something he'd rather never bring up, but knows he needs to address to start living a happy life with his new family. Aaaaand, It's time for Silvera’s tragic backstory! (Trademark pending). Strange names though, right? Kalova… weird how John's old boss has a missing brother with the same name as an alien Ivan the Arxur knows! And Aylin… strange they share a name with Talen's dead wife! Man that's just weird!
Special thanks to u/JulianSkies for proofreading! Seriously it felt like my eyes were melting out of my skull and your feedback was everything I needed!
___/\___
Directory
Library of BiasMushroom contains every link for everything I have written! Check it out as some stuff related to Nature of Humanity may not appear on HFY! As well as my little side stories and Fanfics of other NoP fanfics!
The Nature of Humanity
First / Previous / Next
Under Pressure
First / Previous / Next
For anyone posting to HFY do NOT select HFY first. It bugs out and doesn't work nice with copy/paste from google docs.

Hello all. After getting all the way up to D10, I'd like to hit legend with decks I built myself. To me, part of the fun is the deck-building. I either go for original ideas or variations of popular ones to mix things up. This may be incomplete, and could possibly succeed with some adjustments.
Anyway, here is one of my deck ideas:

charge res

Class: Hunter

Format: Wild

2x (1) Costumed Singer

2x (1) Play Dead

2x (1) Tracking

2x (1) Trinket Tracker

2x (2) Bait and Switch

1x (2) Dun Baldar Bunker

2x (2) Explosive Trap

2x (2) Greedy Partner

2x (2) Hidden Meaning

2x (2) Wandering Monster

1x (3) Wild Spirits

2x (4) Yelling Yodeler

1x (5) Lesser Emerald Spellstone

1x (5) Mystery Egg

1x (5) Tundra Rhino

1x (7) Charged Devilsaur

2x (7) Toyrannosaurus

1x (8) Stranglethorn Heart

1x (9) King Plush

AAEBAR8IuwXGwgKZrQTQ5ATT+AXopQb+pQaA5gYLnM0C39ICqZ8E458EqqQF6OgF8OgF6vIFkIMG7ZsG+qUGAAA=

To use this deck, copy it to your clipboard and create a new deck in Hearthstone

Notes:

1. King plush used to be king crush before they changed it for some reason.
2. Maybe 2 Mystery Eggs would be better, I simply don't want to craft another one without knowing whether it will work or not.
3. Used to have terrorscale stalkers with nerubian eggs and devilsaur eggs instead of this many secrets. That eventually got too slow however.
4. I tried using secrets to compensate for the previous point. Turns out that they may be counter productive after all.
5. I've had this deck for around 5 months, and it was a beast. But nowadays it isn't so viable anymore, and the huhuran deck seems to do the same, only more effectively. Would it be possible to make this viable again?

(Part 2 out now)
I woke up with a cough of blood and pain. I felt something metal with my hands as I looked down. A long stint of rebar poked out of my ribcage and through my chest plate, covered in a mix of my blood and the bile of a bug.
I reached down and grabbed my Senator, feeling its trusty weight in my hands. I haphazardly tried to place the barrel against the portion of rebar sticking out of my back. This had better work, I thought. I pulled the trigger once and with a loud Crack I felt the vibration from the shot in my stomach. I tried to choke down vomit and pulled the trigger twice more Crack, Crack. With the third shot the rebar gave way and I rolled to my side and collapsed on the ground. Agony shot through my body as I hit the dirt.
I realized then, Hmmph, they left me. During Extraction one of the other divers called in a 500kg as we were about to board Pelican 1. She had thrown it over one of those damned chargers in an effort to kill one last bug but... it started charging us. I was the last one in line and just as I was about to board... i was thrown 200 feet away from extraction site. I don't blame them. I'd have left me too. We had successfully evacuated a number of scientists and other military personnel, but we'd lost the planet. No hard feelings I guess.
I tried to pull my mind away from those thoughts and just focused on one. Survive. I pulled myself to my knees and looked at the rebar again. Cant park there bud, I thought tryna cheer myself up. I had dropped my senator when I fell and ended up with two free hands. I reached down and with the assistance of my servo-assited armor prepared to wrench the rebar from my chest. Alright, count of three, I thought. One my heartrate quickened. Two I adjusted my grip ever so slightly. Three I ripped the metal rod out and felt a hot stinging pain shoot through my body. I quickly grabbed a stim and applied it.
I winced as the stim numbed my broken ribs and began rapidly working to heal them and my open chest wound. After a couple seconds, I could stand.
I took quick stock of my inventory. My Senator with 23 rounds left, two ration packs, a canteen of water, 1 stim, a knife, and a bag of oatmeal. Oatmeal? Seriously? I'd rather have ammo but... beggars can't be choosers.
I looked around me. Snow and beaten down rubble surrounded me. This was some kind of research station, I think. Didn't bother grabbing the name. Cold as hell and nothing really around to get my bearings. Great. I thought. Im gonna die inside a freezer. I started looking through the rubble for anything useful. I found a corpse of one of the scientists that hadn't made it to evac. I grabbed the ID card off his jacket. Figured It'd get me inside a building if there were any left standing. I crawled out of the rubble and onto the snowy tundra.
The sun had set and with it most of the light I would've been able to utilize. I scanned the horizon for a blinking light. Blinking like meant beacon. Beacon meant possible radio, maybe some ammo. I clocked one to the southwest and began walking that direction senator drawn.
I spotted a few distant bug patrols illuminated by moonlight but they had no interest in me. I kept my head down and kept moving towards the light. Details started to take shape and I could see this was a research station. Perfect I thought.
I reached the door and used the key card. There was a Beep and the red light flashed green. The door cracked open before jamming. Oh no you dont, I thought and with one hand yanked the door open. I closed it behind me with the same hand to keep the wildlife disinterested.
Inside was dark and damp. I had lost the seal integrity on my suit so there was barely any oxygen regulation. Didn't need it on this planet but still, it's a bitch to fix. I turned my flashlight on and started scanning the room for a light switch. I found one but wouldn't ya know it... dead. At least the beacon had power. I walked over to the radio and pulled off my helmet. I wedged the flashlight in my neck and leaned my head to the side. I started flipping switches and turning dials to see if there was a response. Nothing. Id have to find the master terminal. I grabbed the flashlight and donned my helmet again. I began scanning the room again before I heard it. A little shuffle behind me. I turned quickly and drew my senator raising it at the source of the sound.
It was a small child. At least... thats what it appeared to be. At first glance I could see bindings on its legs and arms. A hospital gown with little ducklings on it and a teddy bear tucked under its arm. I lowered my senator as it spoke.
"Dr. Mehon told me to wait here. He said hed be right back."
Dr. Mehon was probably dead I thought. I knelt down and put my hand on the child's shoulder. "Whats your name kid?"
"3". I felt a rage build up. I swallowed it quickly.
"Well 3, what uh... why.. why do you have bin.." I stopped myself. Whatever those scientists were doing here...
3 looked up at me and I noticed it. A cat like set of eyes. Other little details started to click as well. Four fingers on each hand, slightly pointed ears, a discoloration of skin and a rigid scale-like spine on the shoulder.
"The radio doesnt work mister." 3 seemed to have understood their situation. "Dr Mehon destroyed it before he left."
I realized then that it was unlikely either of us would make it off this planet alive.
EDIT: Part 2 out now! (Part 2's a lil shorter) I Didnt think itd get this many upvotes and comments. Ill keep writing then. Feel free to suggest names for 3!

I woke up with a cough of blood and pain. I felt something metal with my hands as I looked down. A long stint of rebar poked out of my ribcage and through my chest plate, covered in a mix of my blood and the bile of a bug.
I reached down and grabbed my Senator, feeling its trusty weight in my hands. I haphazardly tried to place the barrel against the portion of rebar sticking out of my back. This had better work, I thought. I pulled the trigger once and with a loud Crack I felt the vibration from the shot in my stomach. I tried to choke down vomit and pulled the trigger twice more Crack, Crack. With the third shot the rebar gave way and I rolled to my side and collapsed on the ground. Agony shot through my body as I hit the dirt.
I realized then, Hmmph, they left me. During Extraction one of the other divers called in a 500kg as we were about to board Pelican 1. She had thrown it over one of those damned chargers in an effort to kill one last bug but... it started charging us. I was the last one in line and just as I was about to board... i was thrown 200 feet away from extraction site. I don't blame them. I'd have left me too. We had successfully evacuated a number of scientists and other military personnel, but we'd lost the planet. No hard feelings I guess.
I tried to pull my mind away from those thoughts and just focused on one. Survive. I pulled myself to my knees and looked at the rebar again. Cant park there bud, I thought tryna cheer myself up. I had dropped my senator when I fell and ended up with two free hands. I reached down and with the assistance of my servo-assited armor prepared to wrench the rebar from my chest. Alright, count of three, I thought. One my heartrate quickened. Two I adjusted my grip ever so slightly. Three I ripped the metal rod out and felt a hot stinging pain shoot through my body. I quickly grabbed a stim and applied it.
I winced as the stim numbed my broken ribs and began rapidly working to heal them and my open chest wound. After a couple seconds, I could stand.
I took quick stock of my inventory. My Senator with 23 rounds left, two ration packs, a canteen of water, 1 stim, a knife, and a bag of oatmeal. Oatmeal? Seriously? I'd rather have ammo but... beggars can't be choosers.
I looked around me. Snow and beaten down rubble surrounded me. This was some kind of research station, I think. Didn't bother grabbing the name. Cold as hell and nothing really around to get my bearings. Great. I thought. Im gonna die inside a freezer. I started looking through the rubble for anything useful. I found a corpse of one of the scientists that hadn't made it to evac. I grabbed the ID card off his jacket. Figured It'd get me inside a building if there were any left standing. I crawled out of the rubble and onto the snowy tundra.
The sun had set and with it most of the light I would've been able to utilize. I scanned the horizon for a blinking light. Blinking like meant beacon. Beacon meant possible radio, maybe some ammo. I clocked one to the southwest and began walking that direction senator drawn.
I spotted a few distant bug patrols illuminated by moonlight but they had no interest in me. I kept my head down and kept moving towards the light. Details started to take shape and I could see this was a research station. Perfect I thought.
I reached the door and used the key card. There was a Beep and the red light flashed green. The door cracked open before jamming. Oh no you dont, I thought and with one hand yanked the door open. I closed it behind me with the same hand to keep the wildlife disinterested.
Inside was dark and damp. I had lost the seal integrity on my suit so there was barely any oxygen regulation. Didn't need it on this planet but still, it's a bitch to fix. I turned my flashlight on and started scanning the room for a light switch. I found one but wouldn't ya know it... dead. At least the beacon had power. I walked over to the radio and pulled off my helmet. I wedged the flashlight in my neck and leaned my head to the side. I started flipping switches and turning dials to see if there was a response. Nothing. Id have to find the master terminal. I grabbed the flashlight and donned my helmet again. I began scanning the room again before I heard it. A little shuffle behind me. I turned quickly and drew my senator raising it at the source of the sound.
It was a small child. At least... thats what it appeared to be. At first glance I could see bindings on its legs and arms. A hospital gown with little ducklings on it and a teddy bear tucked under its arm. I lowered my senator as it spoke.
"Dr. Mehon told me to wait here. He said hed be right back."
Dr. Mehon was probably dead I thought. I knelt down and put my hand on the child's shoulder. "Whats your name kid?"
"3". I felt a rage build up. I swallowed it quickly.
"Well 3, what uh... why.. why do you have bin.." I stopped myself. Whatever those scientists were doing here...
3 looked up at me and I noticed it. A cat like set of eyes. Other little details started to click as well. Four fingers on each hand, slightly pointed ears, a discoloration of skin and a rigid scale-like spine on the shoulder.
"The radio doesnt work mister." 3 seemed to have understood their situation. "Dr Mehon destroyed it before he left."
I realized then that it was unlikely either of us would make it off this planet alive.
EDIT: Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/helldivers2/s/ILjsiH5rkw
Part 3: https://www.reddit.com/helldivers2/s/bbH7XdBYYt

I apologize in advance for this being a long post. The pro shop at the house I bowl league in is part of the bowlingworld.biz group. This particular pro shop is a Brunswick focused pro shop and I have purchased several balls from them over the last year. My family bowls as well and we all managed to add a couple of HK22 balls to our arsenal. We have all experienced the same thing with those balls. There is a tremendous drop off in performance in a short period of time with HK22. They need to be rejuvenated about every 30 games. All of our Brunswick stuff that is not HK22 has been really easy to maintain and continues to perform at a high level. Recently I noticed that there were a good number of bowling balls that went on sale in the pro shop. Most of them were HK22 balls. Top Speed, Tundra Fire, GB4 hybrid, Verge Hybrid, and others. Really “good balls”. Even after being marked down between 40 and 60 bucks and including free inserts, they are not selling. I don’t think they have sold a single one of the HK22 balls. I bought one of the non HK22 balls a couple of days ago and that only leaves the Rhino Pro and a Messenger Solid as the non HK22 balls on sale. On the most recent Perception vs Reality podcast it was mentioned that Radical had gone back and developed an old pre HK22 coverstock and is going to release it on a ball. It will not have HK22 added to it. I’m starting to wonder if HK22 in 2025 is going to be referred to as the great mistake… I have seen enough and heard enough of these HK22 balls rapidly degrading to know that it’s a trend. One of my family members bought a BW 2.0 hybrid and it has lost 75 percent of its original performance in about 6 months. The ball might have 40-50 games on it and has been cleaned after each use. I can see some degradation being there but not going from a medium heavy oil ball to a dry lane ball degradation. I have a solid BW 2.0 that probably has close to 100 games on it and it still works great. I bowled against a adult and youth bowler the other day in a league and the kid was throwing the adult’s old 2.0 hybrid because it didn’t hook any more and the youth bowler rolls a straight ball.. Brunswick is going to continue to promote this until the very last HK22 ball is released, but I’m wondering if behind the scenes they are easing away from HK22. I may be jumping to a conclusion too soon but it’s just an observation. Plus I have seen a ton of SPI balls being brought into the pro shop to get drilled. Tells me they still like the guy that drills their balls, but they don’t like the balls he sells anymore.

6’5 inch driver. Family of 4. Head and leg room for driver matter but a 15 year old is gonna have to sit behind me. So 2nd row seating matters.
Ford has ticked me off greatly. Not addressing paint issues on aluminum body f150 and now the Body Control Module failing at 113k. I had to do front bearings at 90k but at least that is a wear and tear part. It took me calling 4 dealers to try and get in somewhere. (And if anyone had a BCM I probably would have tried programming it myself with ForScan) But I am really starting to have some trust issues with Ford right now (there have been some other minor issues). This is just infuriating b/c I do the maintenance.
Need a roomy (and I hate minivans) 4wd/awd SUV or truck. Considering looking for a 4 runner with less than 30K miles. Or maybe a tundra (mid size trucks just don’t leave enough room in back seat). I like the idea of a Tahoe but heard reliability is not very good.
Any suggestions for something reliable and can haul family plus luggage and beach stuff on road trips? And I don’t care about a 3rd row. Just as soon not have it and have that much more cargo or leg room for our fam.
And I really don’t want to spend 50k or more if I don’t have too. I want to actually retire SOME day.
Thanks

Hey all, I've been looking at doing a 2jzgte swap in a tacoma for a while now. However it doesn't seem like there's a lot of info around related to the subject, and I don't love searching through 10+ year old online forums. I have a lot of questions and I'd love some answers if they are available!
What generation of tacoma is best for a swap? What year? Are the Hilux and Tundra good options?
Would a 1jz be a better more realistic option?
Can I still use 4wd and A/C?
Besides the engine, what other parts and things would I need to buy?
Which transmissions do I need to look out for?
Single or twin turbo?
What is the general cost range for the project, minus the cost of the truck?
How much general car experience is needed?
I appreciate any answers and help yall are able to provide. I know its a niche topic for this sub but I'm not too sure where else to look.

I am not the OP. That is u/No_Chrysler-4-Me. Originally posted on EntitledPeople and pettyrevenge.
​
There are two previous BORUs I posted last year:
First Post Jan 8, 2023
Second Post Jan 8, 2023
​
Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence
​
Editor's Note: THIS IS VERY LONG! OP posts a lot about his family. I will include links to other posts at the bottom of this BORU, but I will keep this post focused on the brother and OP.
​
TL;DR of the above BORUs: OP's older brother is lazy and a cheapskate. OP bought a truck, an '03 Toyota Tundra. Brother gets jealous and buys a 01 Dodge Ram 1500, but it's crap. OP tries to help brother fix up the truck despite warning him not to buy it. Once it was running a little better, brother challenges OP to a race. Brother loses and becomes obsessed with practicing racing, ruining the truck further. Eventually they go camping, have more shenanigans, brother finally blows the transmission. Brother has to drive his ex-girlfriend's minivan, which he hates, tries to LS Swap the Ram, but no one will lend him the money. He eventually sells it. Brother doesn't stop there. He NEEDS a truck, so he has the brilliant idea of chopping the minivan up to make it into a truck. He needs money to Frankenstein the minivan, no one will pay, but eventually he cuts it up, uses recycled wood to make the truck bed, etc. He calls it the "Mini-Ram."
​
My brother sold the Mini-Ram and got a Silverado. That was fine. It's what happened after that made things worse May 5, 2024
​
I've been gone for some time. But I'm back with a bad one. I've spoken before about how my older brother competed with me needlessly. And he did a lot of beyond stupid shit. Well he finally pushed the whole family over the edge, and got disowned. And I'm going to be explaining a lot of what happened the past year, and then some from before that. But it's too long for one post.
Well going back more than a year. Some may remember my brother getting a free minivan from his ex after the Dodge Ram truck I warned him not to buy became a moneypit. I helped him work on that truck and even repaint it. And I helped him remodel his camper trailer too. Why? Because he's my brother. And I guess some part of me deep down kept hoping he'd one day change. But he tried to take credit for things I did. Especially with remodeling the camper. And he had tantrums when called out on his lies. He also became temporarily obsessed with my truck, and even implied he'd just take it from me because he hated driving a minivan. He referred to it as a chick car. He acted like a complete child because I refused to trade vehicles, and even got our parents involved. It was just a really stupid and needless situation that my brother tried to make a hill to die on.
It started when my brother bought his Dodge Ram simply because I bought a Toyota Tundra. He had a perfectly running Subaru Baja before that. Then he said he wanted a man's truck and bought the worst barely running pile he could find that was also overpriced considering the condition. He could have at least aimed for a diesel since he wanted a dodge so bad. Lots of dumb shit happened after that. Including my brother wanting to LS swap the Ram after destroying it's engine and two transmissions. But I'm pretty sure the person who offered to do the LS swap for him was a scammer. Not to mention LS swapping any vehicle basically means replacing the ECU. But it never happened anyway since the engine and transmission my brother wanted sold before he could get them. And he had no running vehicle anymore. So my brother's ex, whom he has a young child with, gave him her old 90s Ford Windstar van. It was admittedly an ugly, dent riddled POS with the rear window busted out. But it still ran and drove surprisingly well, considering that's not one of Ford's better vehicles. And then my brother decided to cut it up into some sort of van/truck. Or a ute as they're called in some places. But he made this thing ugly. Lots of spray foam, recycled wood, and rattle can paint. Even mismatched sub-lights above the cab. He frequently raided the junkyard for parts. And he even glued a Ram badge onto the grill of that van/truck. He called it the Mini-Ram. Lots of stupid cheap mods done to that vehicle too. Someone once asked me how ugly the Mini-Ram was on a scale of 1 to 1000. And I said about a 667.
My brother did a lot of other dumb things in this time. Like following me camping just to piss me off. He was a general leech who stole power from my generator, and tried to steal beer from my camper fridge repeatedly. He was so brazen as to just walk right in, and then tried to pretend to be so drunk he didn't realize what he was doing when caught. I've spoken many times about how he stole booze from me. Until my friends and I revenge pranked him and his near equally douchey friends with a growler full of laxative tainted beer. We admittedly used way too much laxative. But my brother never stole from me again because I threatened to tell everyone about his humiliation. He crapped on his own shoes squatting in the woods. And that's just a bit of it.
Eventually my brother seemed to learn his lesson. He sold the Mini-Ram to someone who actually paid him well for it. And no, I don't know what they did with it. And I don't care. But, when the 2K he sold the Mini-Ram for was combined with his savings, my brother had a bit over 4.5K to buy a better vehicle with. And he spotted a 99 RWD Silverado truck with an extended cab for sale online. He really shouldn't have sold his only method of transportation before having a replacement vehicle ready. But I couldn't fault him for taking the deal when presented, considering what he sold. And as much as my brother annoyed me, I still cared about him enough to help. He showed up begging me to drive him over 60 miles to look at this truck he found on Market Place.
So I reluctantly drove him out to see this truck. It wasn't that bad actually. Save for the rough mismatched paint, the rusty hood, the dents, the cracked windshield, and.... Actually, I guess it was kinda that bad. But not compared to the clapped out Ram my brother bought previously. The Silverado had a manual transmission, which we both confirmed shifted great as the records showed it had been rebuilt a few years before. The engine had been swapped at one time too. So it was kinda hard to gauge the odometer as it had not been rolled back for the new engine. It was at about 350.000 miles, but those numbers don't really mean jack when the engine and tranny have been replaced or rebuilt. Admittedly the engine ran like a top. The tires on the truck were in pretty damn good shape too. And on steel rims. Which I like. Very practical. I asked my brother if this was the manly kind of truck he'd been looking for. And for once he spoke logically and said that he'd rather have this than risk what happened with the Ram again. Fair enough. Besides, Chevy trucks are cool and reliable. I've always liked them. Like a rock as they say.
My brother and I scrutinized this truck in detail like a pair of pawn brokers, and talked the price down to 3K. They wanted 4K. But we could hear a sound while test driving it that was either bad ball joints or wheel bearings. We jacked up the wheels, and the bearings felt and sounded fine. But the ball joints were pretty bad. And that's not a cheap fix unless you can do it yourself. The truck was owned by the seller's father, who'd passed away a year prior. So the guy took 3K for it after we listed the problems. After driving it back, I insisted my brother get the truck to a mechanic ASAP. And he listened that time. The mechanic said the ball joints were about to come apart, and it's have caused a very bad situation if they had. And it cost him a grand to get them replaced. The truck also needed new plates ant the title registered. Which ate up a lot of the remaining budget. Then came the paint. My brother wanted the Silverado painted black right away. I told him to wait. But he didn't listen and DIY'd some body work, and then rattle-canned it with Rustolium turbo cans. The paint was full of orange peel, and overspray. He didn't even use primer. And the truck looked kinda mediocre. Then the southern weather had at it. Already numerous chips, scrapes and fades. Whatever. I stopped caring.
You'd think that'd be the end of this part. But no. There's more. What's behind door number 3? If you guessed a dumbass with a knife stuck in his ass. Then you'd win the gold! Yeah that's right. My brother got a knife in his ass.... How? How else... He and his friends all got high and decided they were gonna go outside and build a fort in the back yard of the house they rent out of scrap they found laying around. My brother while stoned wanted to show off how he can flip out a butterfly knife really fast, and decided he was gonna act like he was in an action movie, and did some sort of stupid thing where he was running and flipping out the knife really fast. The ground was wet, he slipped, and somehow got the knife in his right butt-cheek. They called me to come take him to the hospital because they were all too stoned to drive. I had to lay my brother down in the bed of my truck on a mattress because we were too scared to pull the knife out, and I drove him to the hospital like that. They rushed him in, and thankfully he only needed about 5 stiches on his butt and some antibiotics. Then I drove him back home the same way, and he insisted I take him to a drive through. He also tried to get me to pay, because...reasons! I told him to buy his own damn food.
After that there was more dumb BS that I won't bother getting into. But eventually my brother was seemingly getting bett...er...less bad. He was a bit sore his Silverado wasn't a 4X4, and my Tundra is. But being RWD kept him from trying to take it off-roading. He did try once, and had to pull the truck out of mud with a come-along. And he didn't try it again. He did want to drag race my truck again too. I said hell no. Not gonna risk either of our piles breaking down. And he was a complete douche about that too. I told him to stop acting like his dick was bigger than it is, and act his age. He didn't take that well. But he seemingly really was improving. Even being a much better dad to his daughter. Things got pretty good for him. Until I decided to buy a house. That's when the serious drama started.
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My entitled brother threw a massive fit, just because he was mad I bought a house May 6, 2024
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Yeah, I'm aware of several similar stories involving entitled family members wanting houses they have no claim to. But I guess this shit really happens. And it's no picnic when it does.
I suddenly became a homeowner some time ago because friend of mine's grandfather was moving to Florida. And his house was ripe for picking. I knew the old man well. RIP, he passed a few months later from a sudden stroke. Anyway, he offered the house and property to me for 200K. I practically ran to the bank to apply for the loan. The house is a manufactured home from the 80s. But it was remodeled repeatedly by the former owner, and has a separate garage building. The home and property could have gone for more. But he offered the house to me because he knew I'd take care of it. I had 30K saved that made a good down payment. And I was happy to leave my apartment. I'd wanted to eventually move out of there after what my cheating ex did anyway. But that's a story for another time.
As for my brother. Well he went bonkers when he found out I bought a house. He had this repeated history of copycatting me for the past decade. But this... There was no way in hell he could copycat buying a house with his terrible credit and inconsistent income. And he got in an argument with me over how I was just trying to make him look bad by doing something he couldn't. No, I just wanted a damn house. And the price was too good to refuse. Then he told me I should have turned it down because...(He had no good reason) I could practically see his screws getting looser with every dumbass excuse he made as to why I shouldn't have done it. But I pointed out all those excuses were just because I did something he currently can't. And when I bought the house, it had nothing to do with him. I just wanted to be a home owner for the security and extra space. I finally don't have to store my camper at my parents' house. And I have a garage that I can store stuff and tinker in.
I bought a camping cot, he bought a camping cot, went to the gym, he went to the gym, bought good booze, he bought good booze (Or stole it from me), I bought a new TV, be bought a new TV, I bought a truck, he bought a truck, I bought a camper, he bought a camper, I bought a used portable DVD player, he bought a used portable DVD player, I went camping in a specific place, he went camping in that specific place, I bought a house, he...(404 Error! Insert tea kettle noises and Benny Hill chase). He also acted like a complete child toward me when he built his Mini-Ram thing. He actually confronted me and said it was keweler than my boring Tundra, because it was something original. I swear, he did the dumbest mods to that vehicle. Like putting twist studs in the suspension coils to raise the ride height.
Well after weeks of openly fuming about me being a home owner, my brother suddenly acted like he had another brilliant idea. He wanted to move in with me. I laughed at him. Then he ended up demanding I rent one of my rooms to him. And for only $200 a month (Utilities included) because he shouldn't have to pay any more than that since we're family. He flipped his lid when I said fuck no! Then he got our parents involved again. Only this time they actually sided with him at first. Though it was mainly our mother. She and my brother showed up demanding I let my brother move in. And my brother had a shit eating grin on his face that I could tell he was thinking he was getting his way thanks to mommy dearest. I said "FUCK NO!" to both their faces, and my mother cried that I was using foul language to her and being an ass when I had the space now. I called my dad, and he told my mom that he'd warned her I wouldn't do it. And to leave me the hell alone. Mom whined my brother was living out of his camper next to a shabby house he was renting space from. I said that wasn't my problem to fix. And my brother has proven countless times that he cannot be trusted. My brother was fuming to the point of being red with veins popping out. My mom tried one more time to convince me with tears. And that just made me angrier.
I went on a rant that was something like this. Bro can't buy a house, so he wanted to invade mine. I refuse to ever live with my brother again. I would sooner live in the woods without electricity than with him. He's intentionally irritating as all hell. And if I had him as a roommate, I just knew he'd steal my booze, take my stuff, and invade my privacy none-stop. Not. Fucking. HAPPENING! No matter how many tears mom tries using on me. My mom broke down and finally conceded she'd never convince me after that rant. And she had to take my brother by the hand and leave with him because he initially refused to go, and kept begging her to turn back and make me let him move in. And then I yelled to him that it was a laugh that he called me a mama's boy before. Because he'd become exactly that. And this was just like the time he tried to get our mother to make me trade vehicles with him because he felt ashamed to be driving a minivan. He yanked away from mom, then told me to go fuck myself and the horse I rode in on. I laughed and pointed out I didn't ride in on anything, because I was already home. But his rattlecan horse was waiting for him in the driveway. He flipped his lid again, and looked like his head was going to explode. But mom got in front of him, and told him to just go. Then he drove off in his rattlecan Silverado without her. He'd driven her there. And then I had to take her home.
While taking her home, I made things very clear with my mother over why I could never trust my brother again. And his life was not my burden to bear. And then told her how little my brother was offering for rent anyway. Which he'd conveniently not told her. Then I later rented that same room to one of my best friends for $600 a month, and he pays for utilities. The other two rooms are my bedroom and a home office. There's an extra room in the separate garage too. So my mother tried to make me let my brother live in the garage instead. There's enough room in it's storage room for a bedroom. Again I said fuck no. And that's since been turned into another friend's rented room with a bit of a plywood remodel. Yeah, I kinda rented both the spare bedroom and garage room out to friends out of spite. But I wasn't letting my brother live with me in any capacity!
My brother later ended up having a complete meltdown in front of our parents over how he's the older brother. He should be the one who owns a house first. He's supposed to be successful, and I'm supposed to be the big loser in his shadow. Our dad poked him with his cane and told him that's not how life works, and they had a big argument. They told him to get out and not come back until he's cooled off and learned that he's just being a pointlessly jealous asshole.
The next part I post, my brother did the dumbest thing of all.
Edit: I came home late to over 600 comments, and still more pouring in. Far too many for me to answer. So I'll clear some things up here. Yes, I am no contact with my brother. And he's NC with the rest of the family as well. I do have cameras inside and outside my home. And a dash cam too. My brother knows this, and has stayed the fuck away since he left town. I'm told I'm an asshole too. Not arguing that, because it's true. I'm not exactly the nicest guy. But have someone like my brother in your life, and see how peachy you turn out.
Some have mentioned to having siblings just like my brother. Sadly I know very well people like him are increasingly common these days. My dad said a number of times that my brother probably would have ended up dead in an alley if he lived here 50 years ago with the way he behaves. As for our ages. I'm 30, and my brother is 32. I have not given my parents a spare key to my house. One is with a friend, and another is very cleverly hidden.
My house is a manufactured home. But it's not in a trailer park, and has been significantly modified with new siding and a new roof, and has a separate garage building. The previous owner was a former general contractor, and he loved to build and repair. And yes, I do have good insurance.
I keep seeing comments about a clock radio. Pardon me for not getting the reference. But I do own a digital alarm clock that has a built in CD player. Currently plays Tina Turner's Proud Mary to wake me up.
My brother and I were raised pretty evenly. He was always a jerk. But went full asshole after moving out. But our mother didn't favor him. She chewed him out plenty. And she didn't normally side with his stupidity. She just wanted him to live in a better place than in a camper next to a house filled with potheads. Addition: My brother willingly moved into that camper. He was renting half a room in that house of potheads. Then convinced the landlord to let him live in his camper on the property for the same price instead. And he bragged about his camper a lot. Which he has a full gaming center in, complete with PlayStation. He only wanted to invade my house to piss me off and make his cost of living even lower. He also doesn't like camping nearly as much as me. He mainly liked just pissing me off by following me. He loved to make me miserable. In fact, he felt entitled to make me miserable. That's the kind of person he is.
Do I have a restraining order against my brother? Not really. Just didn't bother. Because even if I did, it'd only be for like a year. And my brother wouldn't let something like that stop him if he was truly determined anyway.
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My entitled brother lost his mind and attacked me, his ex, and our father. That got him disowned by the family. But not before I beat the crap out of him May 8, 2024
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Warning: Contains domestic violence, small town drama, and idiocy. Read at own risk.
My brother's major downhill spiral started with jealousy over my house, but only got worse thanks to this next part. He started smoking pot more heavily and drinking harder. And that was making him more aggressive and violent. He got in a brawl outside of a bar for reasons I still don't know. But he got his ass handed to him on a platter. He eventually found out his ex has been seeing someone else. And ironically that someone is another friend of mine. Which was news to me. But it's not like he wasn't around my brother's ex a fair bit. They're both fairly social people, and were also friends for years. Once the secret was out, he confessed to me it wasn't planned. But my brother's ex Sara (Fake name) and my friend just clicked one day about a year ago. This sorta thing can only happen in a town like ours. I admit, Sara is very beautiful. But I've always seen her as a big sister figure ever since she started dating my brother in high school. So I never thought of getting with her myself. She kept her new boyfriend a secret for some time. I didn't even know until someone else spilled the beans. And the word traveled. When my brother found out, that was the last he could mentally take.
My brother was hoping for years that Sara would take him back. But no such luck there. When he lost his mind over the fact my friend was dating Sara, he started hunting for the poor guy. My friend is not a fighter, and a self described beanpole. So that's what I'll call him. Sara seems to like Beanpole because he's everything my brother is not. He isn't really a brave person. And came to me when he found out my brother was looking for him. He has a rather distinctively painted car. So it's easy to spot. My brother caught wind Beanpole was at my place, and came roaring his truck down the street.
When my brother showed up to my house, he started screaming and banging on my door because he wanted to kick Beanpole's ass. And when I refused to let him in, he attacked me. We had a redneck brawl right there in my front lawn. I want to say I won. But the fight only stopped when one of my friend/tenants yelled he was gonna call the cops. I sucker-punched my brother while he was distracted, and told him to never come back to my house again. And if he ever tried to hurt Beanpole again, I'd make sure he'd up in the hospital with two broken legs. This was backed by the other friends/tenants I had there. My brother is an idiot. But even he knew that pissing off my entire friend group was not a good idea. So he picked himself up off the ground and started leaving. But he clearly looked like he wanted to do something to my truck because he stopped and just stood there staring at it with his hands in his pockets, like he was debating scratching the paint with his keys. I yelled at him that I have CCTV. But then he turned around, pulled his pants part way down, and started rubbing his ass directly onto my truck's passenger side door. Then he forced out a nasty fart and said he sharted a little, and laughed like a nutbar when he took off. I immediately got the hose. I'm just glad I didn't leave windows open or doors unlocked. Otherwise he'd have done far worse. And the smell of what he did was pretty much what you'd think.
Everyone already knew Sara was never going to take him back. She avoided dating for years because my brother is so unhinged that she knew he'd do something like this. That's why she and her new boyfriend kept it secret. I went to ice my bruises and call Sara. But my brother was already calling and texting her. Over and over again, he wouldn't stop. He was begging she break up with her boyfriend and take him back. He even said he wanted to marry her and move to the northwest. Not sure why he specified that part of the US. Maybe because we live in the southeast. But she flatly told him no, never again, not happening even if hell froze over. He cried that it wasn't fair, because she was his first love (she wasn't), and they have a daughter together. Then he started sending her flowers, love letters and gifts. She sent them all back. Then she announced online that she and Beanpole had been dating for some time, and recently made plans to eventually move in together. That's when my brother really went off the deep end.
A few hours after he saw that post, my brother got wasted and then barged into Sara's parents' house by body ramming the back door. He actually cut his face because the door had a glass window. But he was so drunk that he didn't notice he was bleeding. Sara understandably freaked out, and my brother grabbed and tried to force her to kiss him. She pushed him away and he hit her for refusing him. He slapped her and threw her to the floor really hard like an angry pimp wanting his money. And his daughter saw it all and started screaming at the top of her lungs. Sara screamed too, and my brother fled. Police were called, and Sara was taken to the hospital. My brother threw her down so hard that she had a dislocated shoulder. My brother was found by police at his camper, where he was even more drunk than before, and half his face was covered in blood. He had to be taken to the hospital, where he got stitches. Then taken to jail. He got charged with trespassing, breaking and entering, and assault. (Surprisingly not DUI too, as he'd actually walked there) When our parents and I found out, well the family finally couldn't take it anymore, and went into an uproar. Our parents had it out with my brother after he bailed himself out from jail, and then he tried to fight our dad when they argued. And no surprise, he tried to blame everything on me.
My brother actually said I let Beanpole steal his woman. But couldn't really explain how. He also refused to believe I did not know until recently. Then he said that Sara was supposed to be his. Dad not only disagreed, but told my brother that he was a fucking disgrace, and that was an absolutely disgusting way to talk about Sara. She's not his property. And then my brother shoved dad as hard as he could. Dad got knocked to the floor, and my brother started kicking him. Dad isn't a small man. But he's old with a bad back and a bad knee. And needs a cane just to get around. Since we knew my brother would only have gotten crazier if he saw me, I was hiding in another room with the door cracked and listening in. I knew he might do something crazy. So I insisted on secretly being in the house when he was confronted. And I'm glad I was, because I came to dad's defense before my brother could do too much damage. I knew we were roughly even in a fight. So I ambushed and hit him in the back with a rubber mallet, and then beat the shit out of him. No police were called that time. I attacked him in defense of our dad. So he probably would have been screwed if he tried to get me charged anyway. And then he'd have gone right back to jail. Someone also once asked me if I enjoyed beating up my brother that day. I did not. I was just in an adrenaline fueled rage protecting my dad. But all things considered, I could have done far worse to my brother with that rubber mallet, as he only really got bruises. My dad gave hm a good smack in the face with his cane too though. But it's just hollow aluminum. Not exactly a damage dealer.
Our parents (mainly my dad) disowned my brother as I threw him out the door. And he spent some time crying on the porch and saying he was sorry and didn't mean it, then switched to saying we could all regret this, and we could go fuck ourselves before finally leaving. My mother spent hours crying. She'd stuck up for him before, and this was how he repaid her. My brother managed to avoid real prison time, or a trial for attacking Sara by taking a guilty plea deal. He signed away custody of his daughter. And Sara got a restraining order against him. My brother got a fine, somehow only a couple months in county jail, probation, has to abstain from alcohol for six months, and he had to pay for the property damage. Sara's dad already put in a new door, and billed my brother for it. My brother also understandably lost his job due to the situation.
Our mother secretly kept in contact with my brother, and agreed to look after my brother's truck and camper while he was serving his two month sentence. And she didn't ok it with dad first. He was pretty pissed at her for going behind his back. But she reasoned that it would be the last thing they ever did for him, because she didn't want my brother to have no place to go after getting out of the clink. And even she made it clear it was the last of her good will towards him too. Once my brother got out of jail, mom drove his truck and camper to a store to meet him, and gave him back the keys. She told me there was barely a word of thanks from him. Mostly just grunts when she tried to get him to talk to her. Dad said he still looked like an ungrateful sod. After that my brother lived wherever he could park his camper for a while until one of his remaining friends somehow got him a new job as a welder in another town 40-ish miles away that he was having to commute to with his camper for a while. But he was back every weekend. Apparently he only got the job by agreeing to work for less than what the job would normally pay. So he could move there permanently as soon as he got the ok from his probation officer. Which said officer didn't make easy I heard. I don't know the red tape of it. But he managed to pull it off. He can't leave the state. But he could still move to another county it seems. He's probably renting a space in a trailer park right now or something. And maybe he's back to doing his side hustle of hauling trash for people.
Before leaving town, my brother showed up outside my house to give me the double middle finger and dance around like a monkey while cursing at me in the street when he knew I was watching from the window. I guess it was his stupid way of trying to get in a last laugh without breaking the law or something. But then I got an idea. I've heard plenty of people say to kill with kindness. So I tried it in my own way. I grabbed an unopened bottle of my favorite honey whisky from the pantry because I know my brother really loves that stuff too. Then I went outside and walked right up to him, and shoved the bottle into his hands. I think it was the last thing he expected me to do in the moment. And I know he'd NEVER willingly break a bottle of good booze. Especially when it's free. Then I told him to have a drink on me to start his new life. I could barely keep myself from laughing when I turned to walk away. When I looked at my CCTV footage later, he actually stood there looking really glum while just staring at the bottle, and then moped back to his truck.
And then he was gone. Off to start his new life as a career welder. My brother is a childish, narcissistic, misogynistic, asshole to an extreme degree. But he's actually damn good at welding. Both with steel and aluminum. Mostly self-taught too. It's practically his only real talent. He's even done basic forging and auto body work. I've seen him do shit with scrap metal I wish I could. But that's the only real compliment I can still say about him. Maybe he'll make a decent new life and career for himself doing metal work elsewhere. He's better off away from us, just like we're better off away from him. He deleted all his social media, and I assume blocked us on everything. Not that we'd bother to contact him. One of his few remaining pothead friends in town told me my brother wants to legally change his name when his probation ends. Knowing him, he'll likely do it.
Things are much more peaceful and far less dramatic without my entitled leech of a brother here. Some part of me missed him for a while. But he's just a terrible person. And the only one who's still missing him, is our mother. She's still kinda broken up about it. But dad has been unwavering that they did the right thing by disowning him. He made his own bed. Now he's lying in it. I doubt my brother will come back any time soon. And if he does, he will not be welcome.
Edit: Got home and cracked open a bag of salt & pepper pork rinds, and was half expecting hundreds of comments like last time. I'm thankful it wasn't. Still, I'm also thankful to everyone who gave their support. To answer some questions I got in comments and DMS. I've got cameras inside and outside my house. Beanpole and Sara are still dating. But they've put off moving in together for now. My niece is doing good. But says she has no daddy anymore. My brother was barely a father to her anyway. Yes I know it was a bit much giving a known alcoholic a bottle of booze. And good booze at that. But I knew he wouldn't be able to drink it for months anyway. Which is why I was trying so hard to hold back laughter when I gave it to him. Besides, he's just gonna drink like a fish on his own dime when his court ordered sober time runs out.
I'm hoping this is the last post about current antics involving my brother. Maybe I'll tell other past stories about him. Or the story of my cheating ex. Still couldn't bring myself to post that. I typed it out and everything. But I guess it still ate at me because I really liked that woman. And yeah, this situation with my brother eats at me too. But he's toxic. And I'm better off without him in my life anymore.
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Related Posts:
My entitled brother wanted my cot and tent for the camping trip
The time my brother stayed over and stole all the alcohol from my fridge
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THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Hey everyone ! I've played through the trilogy a few time and really enjoyed all parts of it, but there's one arguably small thing that always had a great impact on me : the moments of caravan travel.
There's something about these moments, with the grand scale of the world and it's beauty, juxtaposed to our small characters that really clicks and that leads to very powerfull moments (the wyrm, the floating bridge, etc.)
Here comes my idea : I'm a DM, and i love to put some animated background video on my TV when playing TTRPGs, to set the mood and create a visual ambiance fitting the setting of the world.
I'm curently preparing a campaign set between mountains, taiga and tundra, and i would love to use some banner saga footage as a backdrop. However the footage of the game i find obvisouly has text and combat mixed in it.
Has anyone already made a compilation of all the caravan travel moments ? Or is it possible maybe to extract these files in order to create scenes from scratch without the text events popping up ?
Thanks for reading !

Tier List: https://imgur.com/a/RjE3PTc
There's something special about this battle from the very beginning, with how the announcer is doing these hushed whispers with this ominous music playing.
"Look alive, crème de la Kremlin's arriving! Try to serve Ivan; no surviving!" Ivan saying "look alive" as we get a close-up shot of his face is an attention-grabbing opener. The wordsmithing here with crème de la Kremlin and serve Ivan/surviving is magical. The background looks gorgeous too, great use of colors. "You're a land rover; I'm a land expander! Here to hand you your first loss, Alexander!" Well this is simultaneously a top-tier boast and diss; Alexander's empire fell apart when he died while Ivan's conquerings remained a part of Russia, so he's already making a strong case for being better at the thing Alexander's famous for. "I'll school you like Aristotle; smack you harder than you hit that bottle!" This is fine. A reference to the fact that Aristotle taught Alexander and a diss against Alexander for being a drunk. These aren't particularly powerful lines, but they're functional. I do love the way Ivan's eyes wander to the rhythm when he says 'hit that bottle'. "You're nothing but an overrated lush; I'll crush ya! I'm the first Tsar of all of Russia!" Interesting tidbit that does make Ivan the Terrible seem like a much more significant historical figure than he otherwise would have if you didn't know that. Getting all the guys from the Russian battle in the background is a fun touch, even if the dancer dude does not feel like he remotely belongs up there with the rest of those guys. "You're an asshole with an anastole! I'm heaven-sent, divine and holy!" The first line is quite mediocre, and the second line is mostly just serving to build up to the next line. "So don't even try to approach the God, or you'll get a huge sack like Novgorod!" God fucking damn, this is easily in my top ten closing lines. Not only is it a clever line and a gloriously epic boast, but the line delivery. His voice is so low and monstrous-sounding, especially with how they seem to have layered extra copies of the line recording on top of it. And the visual with all the Ivans on-screen, and the versions on the right and left turning to the camera join the one in the center in delivering this wham line... UNF. I love this!
"Hey fella, swell diss." Gotta cut in early here to acknowledge how funny and iconic this reaction is. "But now you got the Panhellenist from Pella hella pissed." This line speaks for itself, it's got some of the best wordplay ERB has ever crafted. "Stepping up's foolish as well as useless, little Vasilyevich! Let me spell out the list!" Pretty cool wordsmithing here, nice setup to something bigger though I don't think what follows quite lives up. "I brought foes to their knees in Phonecia! Breezed through Gaza to Giza! Had the Balkans, Persia, Syria, Iraq, and Pakistan in my expansion pack!" This comes pretty close to just being a straightforward history lesson, there's not a ton of cleverness here. The expansion pack joke is a little corny. There's a little bit of wordplay going on with bits like knees/Phonecia and Gaza/Giza. Flow's weaker than in the rest of his verse too. The visual with the map is a nice touch. "While you died in the middle of a game of chess; you got vodka bars: flavorless!" Some competent disses here. I really like the visual of the chess board: he even knocks over a King, which is presumably supposed to represent him defeating Ivan. I think the way Alexander paints Ivan as a disconnected figure who's just playing games whilst Alexander is actually out conquering in-person is a nice way to preserve his credibility after that land expander bit from Ivan. "And what I'm about to spit will be the craziest, so go fix me a drink so I can stay refreshed!" Nothing too great here, although I do like the dismissiveness inherent in Alexander ordering Ivan to make him a drink. "Kudos! Greek for the glory I got from winning every single war that I fought." Nothing much to say, this is a good boast, it checks out. "So this will be straightforward: I'll take up this sword that I brought, and slice you in half like the Gordian knot." This isn't the most substantive way of saying he's better than Ivan, but referencing the Gordian knot legend is something. "And I'll soar to the top, like the eagle whose feather I would sport in the helmet I wore, as I swatted my many enemies; shattered them like a porcelain pot, and they'd be praying for the torture to stop!" Okay, now Alexander is just witlessly rambling. This is easily the low point of his verse. "But I would leave 'em contorted and they'd be screaming and roaring until their vocal cords were torn up and shot!" Again, he's just rambling, but I will say that his flow and line delivery starts being so awesome here that I can give it a pass. I also like how the way the music stopped after he yelled "stop!" last line before dropping into this one. "And I would holler "Bucephalus!", hop on my horsey, and trot! I win, Ivan; I vanquish! I'm an immortal; you're not!" He's still mostly just rambling about how great he is without being clever about it, but again, he sounds so awesome here that it works. And the Ivan/I vanquish is good wordplay and a nice parallel to the serve Ivan/surviving bit, so it does have that much going for it in terms of substance. Also the visuals cutting back to Ivan pouring a drink in the creepiest possible manner are fan-fucking-tastic.
Ivan concedes defeat, having actually prepared Alexander a drink. You'd think a little interim bit like this would hurt the battle in repeat viewings/listens, but I enjoy it every time. Zach Sherwin's line delivery of "I WEEP, it's all so EEEEAAAASY!!!" is hilarious. Love the way Ivan comes poking out of the shadows all rat-like as he asks what's wrong. I also dig the way Alexander's facial expression changes when he says 'queasy' and he falls down and his head moving out of the shot gives way to Ivan standing behind him celebrating and it's just so GOOD. This battle is so much fun! The "HA!!! You've been poisoned!" is fun, as is Zach Sherwin's deliberately bad acting with his final words. Ivan declares that he is Terrible and that there's no Great who could defeat this Russian, but a mysterious shadow materializes and quietly suggests a flute-busting Prussian might manage it.
What the FUCK. The flute solo! The chanting of "Old Fritz!" The bird's eye camera angle that Lloid looks up at as the emblem of what is probably his house or country or some other organization related to him is on the floor! That dapper-ass outfit! The little pose he strikes as his title card appears! This is without a doubt the greatest entrance any contestant has ever had in ERB to this day. This new music track kicks ass too. "Out the gate, first servant of state! Oblique attack tactics, ain't exactly straight!" As if he wasn't cool enough already, the king is a queen! Good use of consonance too. Also apparently this is referencing a famous tactic for battle that Frederick used. I looked up 'first servant of state prussia' and was informed that Frederick pursued a policy of religious tolerance and abolished torture immediately when he came to power. What an absolute chad. I wish he brought that up here; at best he vaguely alludes to it. "I've got creative talents and battle malice; hard as steel on the field, genteel in the palace!" These lines aren't substantive, but the line delivery is a ton of fun. And the visuals with him jabbing his cane and sipping from a cup are immaculate. "Russia's fucked up but no wonder why; with your tundras and taigas and bears oh my!" Great flow, the visuals are absolutely top tier. The line itself is competent, definitely getting carried by the presentation, but the tigers/taigas swapout is good. "I would pay a guy to tear out my eyes if I had to look at your troll face every night!" Man... why can't mediocre lines in all of the battles get such good line deliveries? Lloid is selling the absolute fuck out of this weaksauce diss and making it work. "Now, bring me my chair! I'm weary from tearing you a new derrière from here to Red Square!" Wait a minute, is that... chair... wear... tear... derrière... square... IT IS!!! IT'S A 5X RHYME COMBO!!! "Fought a Seven Years' War, I ain't scared of a Tsar! 'Cause beating you only took me twelve bars!" A truly fabulous boast and iconic verse closer.
These interims continue the trend of being hilarious by having Frederick die in his chair without the need for Ivan's intervention, which is a reference to how he actually died! Fancy that. I do think this one doesn't quite stand up to repeat encounters the way the first intermission did; the line about saving money and the little song Ivan sings are a bit drab to sit through again and again, but hey, they were funny the first time and it's still a fun performance from Peter. Pompey comes in to seemingly start rapping, but immediately gets decapitated by Catherine the Great. Poor guy. I would have liked for this to be a five-way battle and to have gotten a verse from Pompey first, but ah well.
"Macedonians, Prussians, and Romans; those aren't worthy opponents. It takes a Russian to take down a Russian. I'm Cat; I'm a cat; you're a rodent!" This is a pretty good opener, except for the fact that she's singing. Introducing singing into these rap battles is always a serious momentum-killer. She's got a great costume, though. "How are you the head of our state when the state of your head was such a crazy one? Such sick shit going through your brain that you stuck a spike through your own son!" Good wordplay in that first line, great visuals with these dancers up to chicanery in the background. "You're unbalanced like I unbalanced the European powers with the wars I waged! I brought the Russian empire straight out the olden days and right into the golden age!" That first line feels a little forced, competent boast in the second line. "I'm the boss bitch that you just can't meddle with! This whole battle's like Alaska 'cause I settled it!" Nice closer.
Ivan briefly interjects as he tries and fails to seduce Catherine with a horse. Peter continues giving the best performance of his career, though I can't help but wish we got a little more here. Feels weird that this is the last we see Ivan onscreen. Would've been nice to at least see an upset reaction to his ploy failing.
Catherine proceeds to inform Ivan that this rumor about her sexual proclivities is false: "That horse story is a pile of shit, though I do keep 'em chomping at the bit." There's three different layers to 'chomping at the bit' going on here, and that's cool. "But you're never gonna get it, nyet! Couldn't spin in my chamber of this were Russian roulette." This is pretty funny, and I think it's for sure her best line. The little interjection of 'nyet' is great. "I'm picking up where Peter the Great left off! Bringing sexy back to House Romanov!" Not much to say here. Kind of filler. "So don't call me Queen, I'm far more great! Empress to Tsar 8, bitch! Checkmate!" This is literally a killer closing line; she's referencing how Ivan died in the middle of a game of chess, as Alexander said, and years later I'm only just getting that now.
So all of these verses have considerable flaws, I think. Ivan's is too short, for as much screentime as he gets he doesn't get much in terms of actual rapping. We could have at least used a few more lines in his first verse. There's a lot of Alexander the Great's verse that is just him droning on about how great he is without actually having much substance or cleverness to what he's saying. It's his godlike FLOW that is carrying him through a lot of this. And that's a legitimate factor to consider in his performance and it does make his verse great to listen to, but I wish there were more meat there underneath Sherwin's kickass performance. Frederick the Great is the most entertaining part of the battle(saying a LOT when Ivan the Terrible is present) and his lines are probably the most consistently good, but none of them are great, y'know? He could have used a killer burn or two in there, his diss game wasn't great. And Catherine the Great... well, she sang for both of her verses. I hate it when rappers sing, it kills the energy, and when going back to listen to this battle(which is very often!) I usually stop once her verse starts. She's got some good lines, they're decent verses on paper, and her actress is obviously a good singer, but I just do not want to listen to a solid minute of someone singing in a rap battle.
And really, having so much of this battle be skippable to me is reason enough to justify putting it in A Tier rather than S. I certainly intended to put it in A Tier for a long time. But... even if I feel Catherine's verse ends up being a drag, and even if the verses that come before have some flaws that might keep them from being S Tier on their own... it's all just so fun. Peter and Lloid and Zach are all at their best, and I genuinely do think Ivan is the best character Peter ever played. I love the performances, and the visuals, and the music(mostly), and the structure of having all these Greats dying off to the Terrible. This has got to be in the top five rap battles in terms of which ones I go back to the most; probably exactly number five. And if that isn't worthy of S Tier, then there's only gonna be four S Tiers on this list, and that seems like too few. Bottom of S Tier.
Ivan = Frederick>Alexander>Catherine. Maybe a little controversial, but I do think that you could make a valid and substantive case for any one of these rappers being the winner.

Server Features
-Game Changer

• Almost every City/Town/Village has been Overhauled with an Overgrowth look to give the game more of that Post Apocalyptic feel.
  
• 3 Vanilla houses have been remodeled with a Post Apocalyptic Design. There’s roughly 250 of them Map-Wide.
  
• Dozens of Custom Structures throughout the map that could be used as player hideouts/bases.
  

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-A Hardcore Experience

• Fairly Boosted Loot although Pristine Items are still Rare.
  
• Zombies spawns are increased drastically. Be careful if you don’t have a suppressor, as a single shot in some areas can cause Hell. Even in the mountains.
  
• Certain Military Zombies will let off Chemical Gas when killed!
  
• Bear & Wolf spawns have been increased fairly.
  
• Most Vehicles do indeed come full, but may have damaged parts.
  

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-Rarest Weapons

• AKM (300Rnd Mag spawns around the map)
  
• AUR-AX (One hits Zombies)
  
• M70 Tundra
  
• CR-527
  

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—More to come!!—
https://discord.gg/eJd9xgpb

My character of 4-5 months got killed in a gunfight 2 nights ago, 2v1 but I killed one of the bastards. As the "you are dead" text appeared on my screen I just sat there feeling sick, about the only thing I didn't have was an M4, I was kitted to the brim. This life around I actually took the time to make a couple of crates and improvised shelters for storage for the first time ever, and in these 4-5 months I didn't realize how much I had actually been storing away.
I spawned in elektro (can't think of a further spawn), hit a couple houses and the hospital and was on my way. Hit 2-3 water pumps and got real lucky with a few canned foods and zucchini's and sprinted the entirety of the way. To my surprise I made it to my little confinement just east of Tisy in about 55 minutes! Knowing I had tetra pills and a fishing poll in my storage kept the fear of getting sick away and it never even happened.
So from the time I died to about an hour later I went from freshspawn to SVAL w multiple mags, tundra on my back, and a full belly of fish. One military run and I had top tier clothes, helmet and a back pack. I was always under the impression that once I died it would take minimum of 3-4 hours to loot spawn towns and towns along the way to get back to NW part of the map. If you just sprint the entire goddamn way it's so quick!
I'm sure most of you vets already know this and do this exact thing, but this was a major breakthrough for me, realizing I don't need to be afraid of dying since it actually doesn't take that long to get kitted again if you've taken proper steps prior to your death. Now I'll def go chasing all gunshots and the games about to get a lot more enjoyable.
TLDR: Make crates and shelters so when you die you can just sprint your ass back to your base, gets rid of gear fear IMO.
*bonus* Had been looking for NBC gloves for at least a month to complete the suit, found them in the elektro hospital right after dying so now I'm ready to hit gas zones too. Such a blessing in disguise!

here's my best kam impression;
i believe that who fell asleep in is one of, if not the best lc! songs ever made. while the sea is a good place seems to be praised highly above it, and to tundra is adored, i rarely see discussion on this particular song. but i believe it to be a masterpiece that rises above the rest, possibly being the best song i have ever heard.
the way the violin ties the entire thing together so effectively, the flowing guitar line, and the lyricism is just masterful. i don't believe any other person could've written this song, a combination of his life experiences in graveyards and love life. this is gareth's best lyrical work by far in my opinion, almost perfectly tying together two ends of lc! history; the first three albums, more sort of childish in their nature and with their unique sound, and the more serious and lyrically driven second half of the lc! discography, and it's abundance of songs with deep, masterful lyrics that just didn't really occur in hon,y or wabwad too often. this song has that immense, masterful lyricism but it also has the iconic sound of the first three albums
"in a note, i wrote 'i think too much about the end, but being around it makes me feel like im coping, now when i view the cemetery, i dont see headstones, i see rows of engraved milk teeth, hungry, waiting for me'" i feel like i can see this scene, every time i listen this bit hits the hardest. i can feel that fear, i personally relate to a fear of death anyway, but even beyond that, it's so descriptive, it's so poetic in its nature.
maybe it's the topic of the song being so relatable to me, or maybe it's the instrumental being so hauntingly beautiful, or maybe it's every aspect of it. because i think if any part of this song, be it the guitar, violin, vocals, was taken out, it would ruin it. like a beautifully created wine glass tower.
this song is peak lc!

Around 3 weeks ago, I bought a '21 XLT 2.7 4x4 Supercrew in Antimatter Blue with the 302a high package and ~25k miles on it. Overall, I loved my first 2 weeks with the truck. It felt good to drive, the interior was well thought out and felt quality, and the truck looked great with the color and the chrome appearance package. I was super excited to have a dependable, low mileage vehicle, with a warranty if necessary, that I didn't have to hesitate to take on longer road trips. My two vehicles before this were an 02 Tundra with 240k miles and an 09 Corolla with 200k miles, and the main reason I decided to replace them was while they were still Toyotas, they were starting to nickel and dime me on maintenance and I just didn't trust them on longer road trips.
Before deciding to go with the F-150, I test drove a Tacoma and a Ram.
-The Tacoma felt like, well, a Tacoma (I had a 99 for 9 years and beat it to death and it just kept ticking). It felt rock-solid and you could just tell it was gonna be a quality vehicle. However, even in the quad cab, the backseat was a joke. I wanted usable space for adults on longer trips so this was a no-go for me. Other things that kinda made me feel meh were gas mileage, and standard features. The rig I drove was a 2023 SR5.
-The Ram also felt like a great drive. The pairing of the hemi with that transmission is just smooth as butter. The steering felt nice and responsive, but not overly responsive, and the ride quality was great. They really do ride more like luxury vehicles than pickup trucks. The trim I drove was fully loaded. It was a BigHorn/Backcountry that seemingly had every option available. The things that made me shy away from the Ram was the gas mileage (in that truck it would have been even worse due to gearing), and there was just something about the "quality" feel of the truck that just didn't sit right with me.
This brought to the F-150 I purchased. To me, the 2.7 engine is a no-brainer if you don't plan on doing any heavy towing. The reliability of the engine seems pretty solid, and the gas mileage is a huge plus. I also would have never guessed how much fun that thing is to rip around. It is quick. The quality of the interior, to me, seems to be a notch better than that found in the Ram, though I think the Ram may utilize available space a bit better in some aspects. After a few drives around down was I getting ~19-20 mpg in town, and I did a few 4 hour trips into the mountains where I averaged 24-25 mpg. It was performing as I had hoped.
Now onto the dislikes:
-The shifts in the transmission, sometimes, are garbage. It's always into 3 and 4 that are most notable, Once you get 5+ you don't even notice you are changing gear.
-The vibration in the gas pedal is obnoxious. How could Ford call that operating as intended. That should be a recall. It's just flat out unacceptable.
-Rough idle. Its annoying, and is intermittent. I did an idle re-learn and I know it takes time, but it should be better.
Now to the reallll good stuff.
I was driving down the road normally with my buddy and his wife on Saturday morning headed to play some golf. To add an important detail, I am visiting them out of town, about 4 hours away from where I live. Everything seems as normal, going about 45 down the road, and then it was like my truck was in neutral. Engine running and revving fine, just not getting any power to the wheels. I coasted to the stop light where the service light came on and I got a "shift module fault" (I think that's the exact verbiage, cant remember). When I came to a complete stop the truck shifted itself back into Park. When I would try to put it back into gear. Same thing. Turning off and on did nothing. I was stuffed. Had to get it towed. The really awesome part, being a Saturday, is the the only services at the Ford dealers were what lube techs could perform. So I opt to get it towed to a smaller garage to get them to scan it see if its something simple they can either diagnose or fix. Unfortunately it was not. Luckily they were awesome and hooked me up on the troubleshooting cost and let me keep the truck there until I figured out what to do with it Monday.
So now I am stuck, squatting at my buddies place until I can figure out what is going on with the truck. First thing Monday morning I get on the phone and start calling every Ford dealership within 20 miles, and let me tell you I was not impressed at all. Left message with one service advisor and never received a call-back. One dealer had a 2 week lead on transmission work, Another one just said they were backed up. Another one said first they could see me was Wednesday. Another dealer said they couldn't even work transmission problems because their transmissions guys quit a couple of weeks ago. WT actual F, Ford.
I called the Ford customer service line, trying to see how far they will tow and what my temporary vehicle options are. They say I can get towed out to 50 miles for free. So I call a dealer 40 miles away and they can see it and start working on it that day. Good on them, that service advisor was the first guy I spoke with all day that was willing and able to solve a problem and help me out.
Got the update today, they found metal shavings in the fluid, and they were continuing to troubleshoot and I think were in the process of reaching back to Ford to see what they were going to do (under warranty). I will call back tomorrow for another update.
Fortunately, I took my work stuff up with me, so I only missed 2 half days of work. And as irony would have it, I made it back home using a borrowed Ram 1500. That may have been the sign I made the wrong choice.
TL; DR; Have owned truck for less than 3 weeks. Driven 1200 miles. Transmission seemingly took a dump. Truck left me stranded 4 hours away from my house, causing me to miss time at work. Service is not readily available, even with multiple Ford dealers around. ETA on repair of truck: unknown. Will keep updated.
Edit 1: dealership called today and said the transmission is done. Said there was significant presence of glitter and larger metal chunks found throughout. Placed the order for a new one already and it should be here in 3-4 days and they hope to have it buttoned up by next Friday.

TLDR: i posted some things previously about how I was developing out my biomes, and thought I would share the chart that came out of it.
So, here is the revision to the overall biomes I did, as part of the larger project of determine the number and type of larger life forms present and how they all fit into the broader ecology of Wyrlde.
The chart lists the Biomes that are present (revised from even my prior note), and organizes them according to the latitude that they exist in (or how they affect the surrounding biome, in some cases).
It then gives the Biomass for that region (which is "grams of carbon per cubic meter over a year net"), the general temperature range information, the amount of rainfall, and then, because I not only am using the world fro an active game, I also like to roll dice when writing so that I have the sense of randomness for certain things, it also includes a relatively random chance for an encounter with a "Critter" or large lifeform, as well as the chances for the storm. I use a 30 sided die for this, because I like to work in 3's, and the die is decent enough.

Biome Chart

BiomeBiomass ProductivityEncd30Avg Yearly LowMax Yearly LowAvg Yearly TempAvg Yearly HighMax Yearly HighAvg Yearly RainfallStorm D30
Frigid These biomes are always very cold, and are based in altitude or proximity to the Arctic Circle. Note that passes in Wyrlde through Mountains are often in Alpine areas.
Arctic501-20-30-15-10011 Alpine5004-40-50-30-20-10105 Taiga34023025404538754 Tundra140120-20253038102
Steppe Cold, Cool, Warm, and Hot Steppes. These are generally rough country, hilly, rocky, and windy; transitional areas.
Moor1,00095040505060502 Scrubland1,100105545586070603 Chaparral1,200106555687080603 Veldt1,300117565788090603
Grassland Cold, Cool, Warm, and Hot Grasslands. They may have small thickets or stand alone trees near riparian areas or where water is easily reached.
Heath1,500123020305060452 Prairie1,750143525506070653 Meadow1,800150-10406575854 Savanna1,6501370607580901106
Forest Cold, Cool, Warm, and Hot Wooded biomes. Wyrlde does not appear to have any temperate rainforests.
Timberland340230254045381754 Woodland1,25011423249556520012 Rainforest2,00018706070809027518 Jungle2,50021706070809032523
Wetland Cold, Cool, Warm, and Hot Wetlands.
Bog1,500125040556070704 Fen2,000185545606575756 Marsh2,500216050687590805 Swamp3,000256555738095905
Sylvan Sometimes called Mediterranean, these are areas where the weather is much kinder to the needs of people.
Arcadian1,480122525505565453 Bucolic1,750143525506070453 Idyl1,750143525506070454 Sylvan1,980184535506575455
Sheltered Small pockets where the unique terrain creates a distinct microbiome.
Glen78066050606070252 Dale96586050606070252 Vale1,327116050606070252 Cove1,480126050606070252
Riparian Where water meets the land, the biome is always different fro the area around it.
Stream1,80015-10-15-5-2+5---- Lake2,00017-10-15-5------25 Oasis1,75014-10-15-5-2+5---- Shoreline1,85015-10-15-10-5-5252
Deserts Cold, Cool, Warm, and Hot Arid regions, divided bytheir underlying nature.
Barrens201-40-50-30-20-1021 Badlands40145407010011051 Aridlands30150457595120102 Sand Sea10140357310513061
Croft Areas settled and impact by the presence of people.
Agrarian2,000-5-------5------ Range1,560-2-5-----10------ Settled650-7--+3+5+3+3---- Ruined1,100+1-5----+2+2----
Agarthan Underground Spaces
Caverns650+26555656575---- Agartha1500+3706580100110--1
Oceanic Surface and below, by general climate.
Ocean, Littoral, F5004-10-15-10-5-5252 Ocean, Littoral, C125010-10-15-5-4-4504 Ocean, Littoral, W160014-10-15+5-3-3758 Ocean, Littoral, H225018-10-15+5-2-210016 Ocean, Benthic, F5004-10-15-10-5-525-- Ocean, Benthic, C125010-10-15-5-4-450-- Ocean, Benthic, W160014-10-15+5-3-375-- Ocean, Benthic, H225018-10-15+5-2-2100--
Now, I did things this way because as I go through the animals, I am generally seeking to establish a few broad "types" of animal, and then demonstrate a bit of variation according to the latitude of the biome. What that means is that I want to have "foxes" -- so there will be a version of a fox that exists in most of the biomes, adapted to the particular biome (so I have a larger speciation profile).
That will carry over in a lot of ways, across trophic levels and throughout the foodwebs, which are also being created as a whole. For the food webs, i am going to use a variation on the larger model, with a 20 part web and 5, 7, or 9 trophic levels.
For those wondering what the hell those are, well, a foodweb is "the circle of life" -- what eats what, in a cycle. The parts are based in that, and I will have 20 creatures in each foodweb and at least three foodwebs in most biomes. The trophic level is the stuff that gives us Predators and prey, and where they sit within a foodweb -- the apex predator concept comes from that. Also, I am not an ecologist, so if an ecologist corrects me, they are probably right, but I am doing this for world and this is how it works there.
Since my world is a fantasy style one, I also have magical creatures and assorted horrible stuff out there, and this is going to help me to determine when and how they appear, as well, so that I have a stronger sense of how the ecology of the planet works, even with the disruptive influence of these problem critters.
I know it’s boring, but I just feel really good about, so thought I would share.
————— - - - Context Basis - - - —————
Wyrlde is a complex planet with a structured ecology maintained both inherently and through divine grace.
The study of this larger natural world, and in particular of the Boonies (as places beyond the settled lands are known), is of ongoing and persistent interest and importance as the scholars seek to understand the way that the world functions.
As part of the series of discussions that have been taking place, the scholar Disōnans has given her detailed accounting of her studies over the last decade, spent within the boonies and through the Empire, herein as reported to this most illustrious body, in the fair hopes of it proving useful to other explorers, especially in light of the future Expedition.

This story takes place over the course of about 2 ish years so details may get a little jumbled, so please bare with me. Let me start this story by setting the stage and important characters.
Dm - pretty okay guy but a little hot headed at times (This is mildly important)
Me - warlock fighter multi class
K - monk and problem player
There are a few other players but they don't really play too much of a role in this story, so I'll bring them up as needed.
We were playing Rime of the Frostmaiden, my first long term campign and the first character that I geniunely enjoyed and charished. Like I said above, I was playing an Aasimar warlock fighter, who was in the rime escaping a bounty on her head and was making ends meet by smuggling goods in and out of the ten towns. I loved her so much.
The campign starts and everything is fine for the most part, there are some in character disagreements but it was all in good fun, or so I thought. K's character constantly called my character evil for worshipping the Raven queen (hexblade warlock), before any of the problems actually start to arise its non stop and I quote, "Your a smelly stinky warlock drow!" I worked with my dm when making my charcter, and we decied that she was techinally a half helf, her fatehr being a dark elf. The only thing that made her stand out as anything else was the fact that she was well over six feet tall and build like a brick shit house.
I found out after these first few sessions that this player was the kind to run ahead of the party, without telling anyone in character, and get into trouble. The first time this happened and they showed their true colors was when we were exploring a mineshaft and turns out there was a Grell hiding in there under the specific condition, written IN THE BOOK mind you, that it would only come out if someone were in the room ALONE. Can you guess who found it and almost died as a result? If you guessed K, then you would be right. After a battle and K almost going down, almost, they start to raise hell and say that it wasn't fair and they couldn't do anything (The grell had them grappled and held in the air the majority of the fight while everyone else peppered it with spells). The DMm had to tell them that it wasn't an encounter that he made, that it was in the book and supposed to be there.
We continue with our sessioned and what not, having an occational out burst from K about the game being too hard from them splitting the party and running off. Things do start to bubble when the dm punishes K in game for their antics. For example, they start acting out of line with their gods beleifs and their god stops talking to/interacting with them, to which K whines and throws a fit over. A few more issues that we run into along the way include, but are not limited to

• K threatening to burn down a mans house because they losyt a fight. This fight was something set up by a fight club, with rules. The whole point of the fights were to rank up and challenge the champ.
• K breaking into their moms house through the chimmney and getting their ass lit on fire.
• K constantly stealing from the people of the ten towns, which if you know, are starving and activley dying.
• K complaining during almost every combat that it was unfair, unbalanced, and not fun. All the while everyone else, myself included, was having a great time
• K leaving call multiple times during session, espesially during combat, and blaming it on ADHD. This specific one pissed both me and the dm off, who I stated was a hot head before. He did not take kindly to his time and resourses being wasted. I was upset because I also have ADHD and found a ways to manage it during sessions, even offered to help K! But they always turned me down and just continued with leaving session and upseting the dm over it, while contining to blaim it on a mental illness that them and I shared.

The major two events that earn this post its title goes as follow, in this order.
My charcter was assasinated.
Her past caught up with her and she was killed, bled out in the middle of the tundra. But the dm and I talked about this, and it was meant to happen. You see, the dm sent me some cool prostetic homebrew that I really wanted to use. So we made a plan for my character to get killed, lose an arm in the process and be brought back as a reborn with an arm made of magic from the Raven Queen. What I wasn't expecting was the dm to give me a choice in letting my character die or taking the reserection in exchange for soemthing. The original trade would have been that she comes back to life but no matter what she or her father did, she and him would forever have their fates severed and couldnt do anything to save eachother.
This is a deal my character would not have taken, and I would have let her stayed dead to keep in charcter. But the dm threw me a bone and gave me a different deal instead. To which every time she died here after, she would have to stay dead for a longer and longer time, each time. Like that stop motion Pinoccio moive if you've seen it. While the dm and I were talking about it, I thought it would be funny to just roll new stats to keep everyone on their toes as we ended session before I made my decision.
Que K absolutly losing their mind in our general chat, saying that if my character dies then they wanted a new character too. The only reason this would be an issue was because we had lost a lot of the original party, K and myself being the only characters left. The Dm had even stated a while before that if we lost all the pcs that he would consider ending the campign, as no ones character would have the same inititave to act and all that. So K threaning to make a new character because I might make a new character, made things more complicated. I had put almost a year of my time at this point and didn't want it to go down the drain because of this. Which also plays into why the dm game be an easier deal for my character to take for her life back.
They had an actual break down over this, why? I still have no clue.
The second event was a dragon encounter. An Adult Black Dragon that was destorying the Ten Towns.
It was the most high stakes encounter we had ever had at that point, and everyone was stressed to say the least. My self and the artificer cast fly on eachother so we can actually reach the dragon who keeps doing fly by breath attacks. After almost an hour and a half of combat we finally slay the dragon, with myself landing the final blow. I was fucking estatic! My first dragon encounter and was the one to kill it. K however, wasn't happy.
Imeadiatly they start screaming about how they couldn't land a hit on the dragon and were useless for the fight. Saying that the Dm ran the encounter wrong, which upset the dm who was once again running a written encounter from the module. They kept screaming over the vc while we all tried to calm them down. It ended with the relativly calm barbarian pc who snapped and went off on them. There was so much yelling and fighting that I just left. I heard from the dm after the fact that K threatened to leave, which I guess they thought would work like it had in the past, but everyone who was left in vc told them to go ahead.
They stayed and we continued to have issues with them threatening to kill off their character if things didn't go their way or they weren't the mvp of every session. Needless to say, the dm kicked them after a few more sessions.