Does antabuse show up on a blood test

Im aware this is not medical advice, im looking to learn and to hear first hand experiences. I have issues for nearly a decade and im no wiser, while my symptoms are getting worse.
Should i ask my doc to do an EMG anyway? Do you all think tests for dysautonomia would make sense now, and if so why?
Short recap: first i gained weight, then as i exercised i started blacking out, then my stamina decreased over years, until now i have "CFS like symptoms" meaning i cant really do anything physically taxing without collapsing and regretting it for days.
I get "Lightheaded" which i fail to properly describe. It feels like being hit with a heavy cold out of nowhere, feeling extremelly tired, like a form of head pressure, which can turn to headache if i persist doing something exhausting.
From what i gathered on my own if you have chronic inflammation (like i do) and anemia (like i do), having dysautonomia is like a secondary symptom that can happen. Am i correct that basically i couldnt get a diagnosis until the other things are figured out?
I currently have no treatment for my chronic inflammation, and im gonna have an iron infusion as a last attempt to fix my anemia. Meanwhile im wondering if i can do something about this as its often been recommended to me by kind strangers online ?

After my neurologist has seen my bloodwork (including my thyroid hormones) he said he wont do future musculary tests because for him the cause of my muscular pain and issues is clear - hypothyroidism.
OK I go to the endocrinologists who disagreed. He said its my anemia.
So i go to the hematologist, who tells me yes im anemic but the symptoms cannot be explained by it.

Hence I walk in cycles from one doc to the next, and now they all kinda agreed to call it CFS and give up on me. Now i wonder if i should pursue this route anyway? Or focus on a muscular issue?
Could some sort of neurological autoimmune condition cause inflammation and consequently the weakness? I dont have the protein in my blood that would indicate muscle atrophy, thats all that was tested so far. And an action potential test on my legs.

I have sinus tachycardia, which my doc linked to the inflammation and my blood being thick (too many erythrocytes or something like that along with anemia). My cardiologist found nothing else wrong, and my blood pressure is always perfect even during exercise when my heart rate spikes.

Yea basically my resting heart rate is 45bpm and if i get up its between 80-90bpm, and when i do the lightest of activities its 130bpm, if i walk uphill etc its 160bpm and if im really straining myself its 180bpmp+ and thats when i usually black out and collapse (i dont faint but i cant move or see). Mind you that straining myself can be as simple as carrying a flower pot or watering my plants.
Moving in 3D space does not influence my exhaustion or my blacking out. I tried doing things like yoga, handstands and so on; and this doesnt make me dizzy. I can easily lay on the floor with my dog, and then whip myself up with no issues. However, the HR is a bit concerning to me.
I couldnt do a proper table tilt test, only the at home test where i go from laying down to standing (45bpm-85bpm).
Im still waiting for a proper rheumatological reply. So far a lot of antibodies were negative and my bloodwork is just all over the place. Im just wondering if i could potentially help myself, even if its not the core of my issues by somehow handling the symptoms. And aside of dysautonomia and CFS i havent found anything that would explain my symptoms, so here i am.
In addition a lot of doctors dismiss my symptoms due to my weight. But like i said, weight gain was my first symptom, and since then i been asking doctors for help but being constantly dismissed.

This is from a comment I made over in the main sub yesterday. I’m working through my own understanding of this and an interested in feedback and criticism. If this doesn’t fit under philosophy, then let me know. But part of my view is a critique of the moral/civil/ceremonial division of the law. I understand that a division of the law is seen by both Sts Augustine and Thomas Aquinas (though a bit differently). I’m not debating the patristic tradition, but rather the underlying logic those saints used.
I also recognize there is another tradition which states most of the laws given at Sinai were given because of the golden calf incident and thus were abolished by Christ (this is found in the apocryphal apostolic constitutions If I remember correctly). But again, I question the logic.
The reason I question this logic is this: why would Matthew include the “fulfill not abolish” language in his Gospel if this statement ceased to be of importance after the ascension (when the book was written).
Anyway, on to my proposition. I don’t claim to have patristic evidence for this framework. But this framework does arrive at a very similar effect for the average Christian as the tripartite division does, but it gets there in a very different way, one that makes WAY more sense in my brain. So if y’all can poke holes, please do. If yall can show I’m wildly misunderstanding the tripartite division, please do.
This particular area I’ve been doing A LOT (last 6-9 months) of soul searching/prayer and study on because I don’t like the “moral/ceremonial/civil” distinction. I don’t think the Torah makes any such distinction and that the distinction only works when read back onto the Torah in light of church teaching. Which is FINE and good for arriving at an answer as a Catholic. But I don’t think it’s the logic the 1st and 2nd generation church would’ve used.
We keep the whole law of the Old Testament; Christ came to fulfill, not abolish. The difference is that it doesn’t quite look the same because

1. ⁠We assume the ancient Israelites enforced the Torah EXACTLY the way it’s read. Break a law? Straight to stoning. But this isn’t how it worked. There were courts and burdens of proof. AND there was a chance for repentance. King David, a man after God’s own heart commits murder AND adultery (and tacitly admits to it when confronted) and yet he repents! By some modern folks reading he should’ve been executed according to the Torah.
   
2. ⁠Christ has come. The thing that the entire OT was building up to happened. So our understanding of things changed. The covenant with Noah didn’t negate the covenant with Abraham, but things certainly look different after Noah. Same with Noah to Abrahamic covenant. Same when the covenant is given through Moses as Mt Sinai. The old is not abrogated, but it is built upon and things after look very different.
   

So, where are all the cleanliness laws, sacrificial laws, feasts, ritual washings etc etc? Well, it’s baked into the new covenant and by extension the church. Some examples:

1. ⁠Sacrificial law: Christ IS most of those sacrifices. He is a sacrifice of thanksgiving (Eucharist literally means thanksgiving), a sacrifice for sin (by his stripes we are healed), a Passover sacrifice (through which we are spared death and brought to life), the day of atonement sacrifice (he is both goats, the goat that takes away the sin and the goat who’s blood purifies the whole camp, now understood to be the whole earth). We still have morning and evening sacrifices (Lauds and Vespers, sacrifices of praise, in the Latin tradition). We still do incense offerings even at Mass and more traditional lauds and vespers celebrations.
   
2. ⁠Cleanliness: this one is entirely wrapped up in the day of atonement. If his blood cleanses the whole world, how can something be called intrinsically unclean? This means that nothing (including food, clothing, or people) are intrinsically unclean. Rather we (and objects) are defiled by what we do (or how it is used). Thus we are still not to have anything to do with unclean things, but what exactly is unclean has changed. You can see this in the fact we purify/cleanse altars that have been desecrated.
   
3. ⁠Ritual washings: baptism, holy water before entering the church, sprinkling over people at high feasts, foot washing
   
4. ⁠Feasts: Pentecost was an Israelite holiday that we still celebrate, Passover is Easter, feast of booths is transfiguration, etc. we just have them renamed for they BECAME to us through the establishment of the new covenant
   
5. ⁠Tabernacle/temple construction: traditional church architecture still abides by the general layout. Holy of Holies: tabernacle and sanctuary. Holy place: knave. Inner court: vestibule. Outer court: the world. Through Christs redemption everyone has moved a step closer to God. Those of relegated to never being in the temple are always in the outer court. But we can all enter the inner court (vestibule). The holy place is not relegated to just priests, but the priesthood of all believers (Catholics in the knave). The priests can all now go into the holy of holies (sanctuary/tabernacle). And instead of one priest once a year going in to God, God comes out to us in the Eucharist.
   
6. ⁠As for the remaining punitive laws, most people only have issue with the penalties assigned. But we’ve already talked about under what circumstances those penalties would be enforced. Basically you had to be unrepentant. So in the Christian understanding, what is consequence of sin? Death. What is death? Well there’s physical death (separation of soul from body) and there’s spiritual death (separation of soul from God). A person who lives in sin without repentance is dying or dead (venial vs mortal sin). And when recognized by the church in a lot of cases an excommunication would be pronounced. This separation from the church, separation of a branch from the true vine. A branch separated is dead. So we don’t execute people as the church, but the church long recognized the civil government’s authority to do so. And even without that, sin is death, and excommunication is death. But it’s important to note that in NO way was the average Israelite running around pronouncing death penalties on people. They had courts and priests that did this. Same as we have tribunals and priests and bishops who do this.
   
7. ⁠Circumcision: this is fulfilled with baptism. It’s the outward sign of entrance into the people of God. Circumcision to become a part of the OT people of God and baptism for the New covenant people of God.
   
8. ⁠A lot of the specifics are alterable with time and circumstance (Jesus gives the apostles this authority with the ability to “bind and loose”). Even in the OT this happened between exodus law in the wilderness vs changes that happen with Leviticus and Deuteronomy since they’re readying to enter the promised land and not be a nomadic people in the wilderness. And even by extra biblical accounts, the specifics had changed a bit in the rituals by the time of the second temple era. Yet Jesus still tells the people to submit to the valid authority of the religious leadership of the day; he notably doesn’t tell them to interpret the Torah for themselves and correct the instructions of priests and rabbis.
   

So practically speaking, yes the triple category can still be laid out. Our ceremonial law is more governed by our liturgical books than Leviticus on a literal front, and our civil law is found in Canon law now, and moral laws (as we have defined the moral life) is still found in the OT among many other places. But all of it is still rooted in what the people of God have been practicing since Mt Sinai though.

11/20/2017
Log book of Det. Ryan Snow
Case #2798: The Appalachian Murders
The past couple of days are events I pray no one else ever has to go through what Kate and I had. I had her and Mr. Raines cleared of all charges, having found the proof we all needed to end this case and find the true killer. Kate no longer has to go into witness protection and I had given the police a good enough lie to keep myself from looking insane in the eyes of my co-workers. I know no one will ever know the true story or believe it, but I’m writing it out here. It at least needs to be known written somewhere. Even if my and Kate’s eyes are the only ones that will ever read it written out and forever imprinted in our memories.
The morning Kate had run off to the mountains on her own, I had made my way to the Blackwell home where I was immediately met with Mr. Blackwell charging at me and wrapping his large hands around my neck. He was shaking me and blaming me for getting his daughter killed and not doing more to keep her safe. The police who had been called to examine the scene and read Kate’s letter had to sedate Mr. Blackwell to get him off of me, lying him down on the couch, his head resting on Mrs. Blackwell’s legs. Though the woman was distraught and begging the police to bring her daughter back, she still took the time to shoot that cold, death glare my way. The ice in my chest growing. I couldn’t tell these people that this thing had come after me to get to Kate. I knew it wouldn’t change anything. If anything they’d hate me even more for keeping it to myself.
The sheriff was there and he pulled me away from eye sight of the Blackwells, trying to tell me that this wasn’t my fault. But I couldn’t help but blame myself. I should have done everything I could to keep Kate as far from those mountains as possible.
There were no signs of a struggle in Kate’s room and the letter was definitely written in her hand writing. Her father’s rifle missing from the study, a backpack and some food and supplies gone as well. She had only grabbed one set of clothes from her drawers, showing she did indeed have plans on returning after only one night in the mountains to confront whoever or whatever the killer was.
I told the sheriff to keep any police from going up to the mountains without first allowing me to go up there first to find Kate. He of course argued, telling me that he couldn’t break protocol based on any hunches I may have had. However, I told him that I could get Kate back without her putting up much of a fight, whereas she may struggle with a group of cops who didn’t understand the situation she was in. I was close enough to this case to have built a trust with her after all. I was mentioned in her letter about ending this case for me.
It took a good hour to get the sheriff to eye the Blackwells, Mr. Blackwell beginning to stir from his sleep, and allow me to go to the mountains to find Kate. He didn’t bother to call off the search to the police that had already begun making their way to the mountains, but did radio to tell them to not try getting Kate home without first allowing me to speak to her. He then gave me twenty-four hours to find her to which I told him I’d only need at most ten.
Without telling him about the disturbing scratches on my car, I sped to the mountains, taking the same path Kate had that day she took her friends on their trip. The route, as the sun began to rise was scenic. A drive that may have been a sign of a bright future ahead with a beautiful week in the mountains of nothing but nature, was now a reddening sky of horror. I couldn’t understand how Kate felt, going down the same roads that led to her only friends’ fates to avenge them, but the feeling of guilt did weigh heavy on my chest as I saw the signs of the Appalachian Mountain trails grow bigger on the horizon. Guilt for not doing more to prove Kate was innocent, for allowing Mrs. Mayfield for getting killed right before my very eyes, and for Liam for not being lucky enough to save him.
When I finally arrived to the cabin, there didn’t seem to be any change since the first day I was called to the crime scene, the only thing out of place being Mr. Blackwell’s truck parked precariously near the cabin. The police tape was still up, the cars of Kate and Mr. Woolfe still left where they were, the tires still slashed, the door wide open from when Kate, Ms. Greymoore, and Mr. Woolfe ran out of the cabin upon Mr. Billings was killed by an unknown force. All the bodies had been found and were now being prepared by their families to be buried or cremated. Only one body of the five still roaming around to avenge each and every one of their deaths.
I called out for Kate as I made my way into the cabin. The Ouija board was still on the coffee table, the white line of where Mr. Billings had been found lying face first on the floor with his head bashed open remained on the spot. The planchette was still missing. I kept calling out for Kate as I made my way up to the attic, the door left unlocked, using my flashlight to shine down on the white outline where Mr. Steele had been found completely torn apart. To think Kate had done such a thing, I now realize made me look like a complete dumb ass for believing it.
When I couldn’t find Kate in the cabin, I made my way out the cabin, still calling for her. I called out to her, promising that she just needed to come back home with me and we could solve the murders together. I knew it was a lie and that the sheriff would immediately have her take away to some secluded place where the killer couldn’t find her, but it was all I could think of to try luring her out to meet me. Still, she never appeared.
The sun was soon beginning to set as I tried retracing the very steps Kate and Ms. Greymoore had taken to outrun the killer. I had passed the small shrine of flowers and the pictures of Mr. Woolfe where the boy had been found, his face permanently remaining nineteen forever in the photos of him with Kate and their friends. I kept going, trying my best to follow the same path to the cliff where Ms. Greymoore was found, calling for Kate along the way.
It wasn’t until I found the place Kate had buried her best friend that I found Kate. She was on her knees before the rock where she left her bloody handprint, sniffing as her head was lowered, her dad’s rifle in her hands.
“Ms. Blackwell-“ I began as I took a step toward her. I was immediately cut off as Kate jumped to her feet, raising her father’s rifle at my head. I jolted back, raising my hands up to show her I meant no harm to her. “Ms. Blackwell, it’s me, Det. Snow!”
“Detective…?” She gasped, slightly lowering the rifle, but keeping it on me. “P-Prove it!”
“I’m sorry?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I… I thought I saw Sonja…” Kate breathed between tears, the rifle shaking in her hands, “it… It was wearing her face… It had her voice… How… H-How do I know you’re really Det. Snow?”
“You… Saw Sonja?” I asked as gently as I could with a terrified woman pointing a gun my way. “She spoke to you?”
“Prove you’re Det. Snow!” Kate demanded as she stilled her arms, readying the rifle as she pointed straight between my eyes.
“Alright! Alright!” I kept my hands up, backing up slightly as I tried thinking of how I could prove to her I was really me. “I… I, ah… I have… Had a brother… We went to get ice cream together once and… I dropped a dime and went to grab it… I was five… I followed it out to the road and despite how trafficked it was, I didn’t get hit. I grabbed the dime just as a truck was speeding my way and it swerved just before hitting me… Seeing how close I was to death, I dropped the dime and it rolled into the sewer. My brother called me Lucky Dime since then… Saying the dime was lost to me because it did its job in protecting me… I haven’t seen my brother since I was seven and I haven’t spoken to my parents in…” I looked at my watch. “Five years… No one else calls me Lucky Dime… Not even the people at the station know that was my nickname.”
With this, Kate lowered the rifle, her eyes softening from her furious fear to a more melancholy terror. She looked to Ms. Greymoore’s grave marker, her hand print just barely visible In the approaching darkness.
“It… It looked just… Like her…” She sniffed, “it had her voice… Why did it have her voice… Why did it look like her…?”
“Ms. Blackwell,” I soothed, relaxing now that there was no weapon in my face, “we need to head back, your parents are worried about you and the police are looking for-“
“I can’t go back yet!” She snapped at me as she spun to look at me, tears in her eyes. “That thing is still out there and will kill again unless I end it!” She held up her dad’s rifle as if to show me how she meant to “end it.” “I’m not leaving until I end that… Thing that had the balls to wear Sonja’s face and have her voice!”
“Ms. Blackwell, we will catch the killer, I promise, but right now, we need to get you home before your dad ends up killing a police officer for keeping him from looking for you.”
“I told him in my letter I’d be back tomorrow! I’m twenty-years-old, he can’t force me back home if I don’t want to! I just want to stop this thing before it-“
A howling in the distance cut Kate off. Coyote from what I could hear. If I couldn’t get Kate home, I’d have to get her somewhere safe. I turned to begin talking her down and taking her to one of the other two cabins for shelter. However, when I looked back at her, her face had turned to a bone chilling terror I’d never seen on a person before. She looked like hunted prey that had been found by its predator. She gripped her dad’s rifle to her chest tightly, her hand reaching for the trigger.
“Ms. Blackwell, it’s just a pack of coyote,” I tried telling her calmly, “let’s get to one of the other cabins and-“
“No, no, no,” She stopped me as she stepped back, looking around for where the howling was coming from, “I… Heard that same howling just before I saw Sonja! I thought it was far away, but she… She was right in front of me… She… Something was off, but it looked just like her!”
“Ms. Blackwell, you didn’t see Sonja,” I assured her, “I don’t know what you think you saw, but it wasn’t-“
“Lucky… Dime…”
I froze. My blood turned to ice. The fear on Kate’s face grew as she began backing away, her back hitting the grave marker. I spun around to see a figure in the darkness limp toward us, a scratched and garbled familiar voice coming from it.
“Lucky… Dime…” It wheezed, “You brought her… Back… Give her… To me…”
I whipped out my gun, pointing it at this thing that had his voice. I stepped back to stand directly between this thing and Kate.
“Stay back!” I demanded. “Don’t come any closer!”
“Lucky… Di-“
“Shut up! Stop calling me that! Who are you? Not another step or I’ll shoot!”
The thing stopped limping toward us, its body shuddering in place as it stared us down. I took the safety off of my Glock, ready to blow this thing’s head off if it got any closer or even dared using that voice on me again.
“Kate…” It turned its attention to Kate, a completely different voice coming from it, another male’s voice. “Kate… I’m cold…”
“J-Jasper…” Kate began to sob, “Please, stop using their voices… Please stop!”
“Kate… Kate why did… Did you leave me…?” Another male voice asked. “I… I was in so much… Pain…”
“Shut up!” Kate cried out.
“I thought we… Were friends… Kate…” A female voice. “You said you… Loved me… Why won’t… You let me have… Your warmth…?”
“I said shut up!” Kate screamed as she pointed her rifle and shooting at the creature. She had missed, but the thing still let out an ear piercing shriek as it dodged out of the way of the bullets Kate was shooting. It ran off into the darkness, but Kate kept pulling the trigger of her rifle.
“Stop!” I shouted as I snatched the barrel of her rifle, shoving it to the ground before us. “It’s gone, you scared it off, get to the cabins, I’m right here with you!”
I began shoving Kate back toward where the cabins were, the sounds of that thing screaming out in a symphony of different voices ringing out throughout the woods. I shoved Kate into the first cabin we had arrived to, Cabin #1 I could only assume as I slammed the door shut behind us. It smelled God awful, like the smell of the corpse I found on my first murder case, and it was getting darker as the sun began to sink behind the trees outside.
“Detective, it smell terrible in here!” Kate cried out, covering her mouth and nose, but the tears still falling from her eyes were still visible as they rolled down her cheeks.
I pulled her close and kept her behind me as I took my gun and flashlight out. “Stay close to me,” I ordered, leading the way through the cabin, “do not run off or use that rifle without may say so, understood?”
Kate didn’t answer, but I could feel the heat from her body following after me as I made my toward the smell. It was getting worse as we inched closer to a closet door in a hallway that connected the living room to the kitchen. The door was locked, but after a couple of kicks I was able to get the door to swing open, the smell blasting us in our faces making us gag and nearly throw up on the floor. I fumbled around the sides inside the room to find a light switch that I was able to find to the side of the entryway. A yellow light flickered on, revealing the door led to a staircase. I led the way down the creaking steps, Kate close by as she kept her mouth covered with her shirt.
Once we had made our way to the bottom, Kate dropped her dad’s rifle and let out a scream as we stared at what was waiting for us at the bottom of the steps. In a large pile at the corner of this basement room were nothing but skin and bones of humans and animals covered in maggots and flies. Some of the human bodies being small and child-like in size. The missing people who were never found after vanishing when they came to Cabin #2.
I grabbed Kate’s rifle off the floor and began pushing her back up the stairs, her screaming and sobbing all the way back up to the cabin. I slammed the door shut behind us and pushed Kate to the front door.
“We need to leave,” I had told her, trying to calm her down as we made it outside, “we need to get you home and away from here as soon as possible.”
“N-No… No!” She began fighting me, trying to escape my grasp on her. “No! That… That thing is still out there! You saw it! You can’t say you don’t believe me now! It even called you Lucky Dime! It said you brought me back!”
“I’m not saying I don’t believe you!” I shot back. “I do, I saw exactly what you saw, but it’s way too dangerous for you to be out here while you’re the one it’s after!”
“I escaped it once, I can do it again!” Kate pointed out as she struggled against me while I tried getting her into my car. “I’m not running away this time, I want to kill it!”
“God damn it, Blackwell, we’ll let the police handle it! Just because you have a weapon doesn’t make you safe or ready to handle something like… Like that… That thing!”
“It killed my friends! It wants me! I’m going straight to it so I can blow its head off! It’ll come right for me!”
“I came here to bring you back home, not let you accomplish some stupid ass revenge plot! Get in the fucking car, unless you want to end up like those bodies down that-“
“D… De… Detect… Detective…”
A scratched and moaning voice cut me off. Kate and I both froze at the sound of something approaching. I turned to see a police officer stagger toward us from the tree line. I could barely tell who he was or who he used to be, his head held low and blue uniform covered in blood.
“H… Hel… Hel… Help… Help me…" It croaked as it stumbled closer.
I held up Kate's rifle. "Stay back!" I barked. "Not another step!"
The thing that stood before us wearing the cop like a full-bodied suit stopped in place. It swayed where it stood, blood water falling from its head and down to its chest.
"It… It… It's inside… Inside me…" It breathed painfully. "I… I can't… Help… Me…" Its voice then changed to that familiar voice that made my skin crawl. "Lucky… Dime… I… I'm so… Hungry… Give her… To… Me…"
I pulled the trigger of the rifle, hitting the creature in the head, the rest of it staggering backward from the blow. Still though, it remained on its feet, turning itself to look toward us once again.
"Give… Her… To… Me…" It wheeze, blood and brain pouring from where I had shot it, it beginning to stumble toward us once again. I continued shooting, hitting it in the shoulder, the arm, the leg, the head again, but it just kept coming toward us faster, demanding I give Kate to it.
I was about ready to ram it with the rifle, having run out of bullets, when a voice off in the distance made the creature freeze just an inch before us.
"I'm here! I'm here!" It called out in an almost sing-songy way, using the voice of a little girl. "I'm here! I'm here!"
"I'm… Here…" The creature repeated as it jerked its body to look to where the voice was coming from. "I'm here… I'm here… I'm here! I'm here! I'm here!" It began shrieking in a high pitch wail. It sounded like a mixture of different voices ranging from child, to woman, to man. Keeping flat on its feet, its upper body fell forward onto its hands before speedily crawling off like a spider.
We stood in shaking silence for a moment, Kate digging her fingers into my arm while I was too numb from shock to care about the pain she was unknowingly inflicting. It wasn’t until the radio from my car buzzed to life that jolted us back to whatever reality was at this point. I scrambled to the driver’s side, swinging the door open as I fell inside to grab the intercom to respond to the voice yelling for me over the receiver.
“Det. Snow, what the hell is going on up there?” The sheriff’s scratched voice called out over the receiver when I could barely get my name out of my mouth.
“Sh-Sh-Sheriff…?” Was all I could respond with, still trying to wrap my head around what I had just seen.
“Y-Y-Yeah,” he responded in mock shudder, “what the hell is going on up there? I’ve tried radioing every man I’ve got up there and am constantly being left on red! Do I need to send back-up?”
“No!” Immediately, I returned to full reality, finally understanding the severity of the moment and putting that knowledge into my tone. “Landon, do not send any more men up here, call everyone back immediately! I don’t know what this thing is, but it’s too dangerous! Call everyone back, we’re heading back to the Blackwell house now!”
“We?” The sheriff questioned, skepticism in his voice.
“I found Ms. Blackwell, she’s here with me.”
I was met with statice before the voice of Mr. Blackwell blasted over the intercom.
“Bring my daughter home, right now, you son of a bitch!” Mr. Blackwell demanded. “You bring her home this instant before I decide to kick your teeth in!”
I opened my mouth to respond, but the radio was snatched from my hand from Kate. “I’m not coming home until I kill this thing!” She snapped into the radio. “I don’t know what it is, but I at least know I’m not crazy and that it needs to die before it kills anyone else!”
I grabbed the radio from Kate’s hand, beginning to tell her off when a agonized scream erupted from the intercom. I dropped the radio to cover my ears as Kate did, the scream piercing from my car to throughout the forest around us. The voice screaming and crying for help sounded male and it seemed to echo all around us.
“GIVE HER TO ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!” A mix of the screaming voice and Mr. Blackwell’s hissed out after a good five minutes of screaming before the radio short-circuited and puffs of smoke flowed out.
After allowing my ears to adjust to the sudden silence, I grabbed the radio once again and tried calling for the sheriff, for the cops with us in the mountains, for anyone. When I was met with more silence, I slammed the radio back down on the holder and cursed loudly, hitting the wheel as if it were the source of all my problems.
After a moment to take some deep breaths, I told Kate to get in the car as I placed her rifle in the back seat.
“Didn’t you hear me?” she shot back. “I’m not-“
“Damn it, Blackwell, we have no idea what we’re dealing with, it can mimic peoples’ voices, and it just ran off like a fucking black widow!” I snapped, stepping out of the driver’s seat to glare down at her. “The last thing I’m doing to leaving you here alone and I’m not staying here another second until I can wrap my head around what the fuck I just saw! So, you either get yourself killed out here while I try talking you down this hero complex high, or you’re going to do what I say and get in the damn car!”
We stood in heated silence, glaring each other down before Kate huffed and stormed over to the passenger side of my car and slamming the door shut as she climbed in. I jumped in after her and began driving away from this nutty nightmare I had found myself in.
We drove down the trail back to civilization in silence, Kate staring out the window and trying to keep her tearful sniffs quiet. I had finally begun calming down and was starting to feel bad for snapping at her. She had only gone there to avenge her friends by killing that thing that had most likely killed a whole bunch of cops to find her. However, I still couldn’t just let her stay to hunt it and I didn’t want to stay out in those mountains with some kind of creature that could take the form and voice of someone I knew. I still couldn’t understand what is was I had even seen.
“Wendigo,” Kate whispered, breaking the silence in the car first. She had said it as if she had just remembered something important.
“What?”
“A Wendigo,” She repeated, turning to look to me with wide scared eyes, “that’s what that thing is! It’s a Wendigo!”
“Slow down, what’s a Wendigo?”
“It’s… Oh, just forget it! You wouldn’t believe me anyway.”
“Ms. Blackwell, I just saw a cop being used as a puppet and then run off at inhuman speed on all fours; I doubt I’m not going to believe a single word that comes out of your mouth now. What’s a Wendigo?”
Kate eyed me for a moment before releasing some of the tension from her face as she took a deep breath and began explaining to me. “They’re a Native American myth; it’s believed they’re the spirits of people who would lose themselves in the woods and would end up eating other people to satiate their hunger. I think that’s what that thing is. They can mimic the voices of people who died and use it to lure people to them, they can take the form of that person too.”
“Why does it want female hearts?” I asked, not realizing I had yet told her what my mysterious caller kept asking for when they called me.
“It… It wants my heart?” she asked shakily.
I cursed to myself before letting out a frustrated sigh. “I think this thing wants hearts, but it only wants female hearts. Why? I don’t know yet. But the only other person to be found after killing someone in those cabins was found with his partner’s heart missing to which he was blamed for taking out of her. Recently, I’ve been getting calls from some… Thing wanting me to bring you back here so it could take something from you. It would have taken Ms. Greymoore’s, but you hid her well enough that only the police could find her in time. Now, I’ve been getting calls asking for you and to get something from you.”
Kate looked to me in shock before a wave of guilt twisted her face in pain. “I… I’m so, so… So sorry, Detective!” She cried out. “I… I had… I had no idea you were being… Harassed by it! Had I known it wanted me back and was demanding you brought me here, I never… I didn’t… That’s why it said you brought me back! Oh, I’m such an idiot!” She pressed her hands to her face, grabbing at her hair between her fingers and tightening them around her eyes.
“No, no, no, stop, stop that!” I ordered, screeching the car to a halt, having to bring it to a crooked stop so I could stop her from hurting herself. I snatched her arms from her head and pinned them to her lap, tears flooding her face. “It’s my fault for not telling you sooner! I was too focused on trying to solve this case with the most efficient evidence I could, but that just kept me looking to you as a suspect. I should have stopped thinking you were the killer the moment I got that first call. There’s no way any of us could have seen… This coming… Except people who probably already believe in that kind of stuff or don’t stop to assume a more rational explanation like a cult… I’m… I’m sorry. But, I won’t let it take anything from you, not anymore. I’m going to get you home and then I’ll deal with this with the rest of the police department. You don’t have to deal with this thing anymore, it’ll be my burden from now on. You need time to finally get some rest and mourn your friends with your and their families. It’s already fucked your life up enough, I won’t let it go on making it worse.”
I stopped her before she could argue with me with a wave of my hand. “Your friends’ deaths shouldn’t be your burden to handle. I know you want to be the one who kills that thing and do right by them, but that’s not what they would want. They’d want you to remember them and continue living. They know you didn’t do it, so stop blaming yourself and stop acting like you’re the one who has to make it up to them. I will put an end to this die trying, but you need to go home and be with people who are happy you still get to live.”
Kate looked down at her hands that I kept down on her lap before nodding weakly and letting out a broken “okay.”
“Good, now let’s get you home before-“
My words were cut off when the honk of a car barreling toward us echoed through the woods. The headlights were fast approaching and I barely had time to grab the gear shift to put us back in drive as the other vehicle hit us, forcing us back and forth in one violent motion. It took me a moment to check myself to be sure I hadn’t hit my head on anything or got whiplash from the crash before I immediately returned my full attention to Kate who was kneeling over holding her head. I gently grabbed her shoulder and pulled her up to examine her head. It didn’t appear to have been busted and bleeding, but she was holding the front side of her forehead.
“Are you okay?” I asked her, prying her hand away from the spot on her forehead, seeing that it was beginning to bruise. “Can you hear me? Blink twice if you can understand me!”
“I… I’m f-fine…” she mumbled as she looked to her hand to check if there was blood on her palm, “I… I think I just… Hit… Hit the w-window…” She then blinked twice in my direction before looking to the car that had rammed us.
I turned my attention as well to the car to see it was a police van, it’s front crushed into the left of my front. I quickly jumped out my vehicle and stormed to the van, yelling at who ever was driving the van to come out and explain what the hell they were doing.
The driver’s side of the van swung open once I was near enough and a man in an orange jumpsuit climbed out, staring familiar daggers at me. The moment realization set in, my mixed emotions of confusion, frustration, and fear turned to fury.
It was Leighton Raines.
“Jesus, you really are a shitty detective.” Was all he said to me before reaching into the can and retrieving a rifle out from the passenger seat.
[END OF PART 1]
Part 6

I took my rabbit to the vet because he seemed to be losing weight (though eating normally?)
The vet said he was way too thin (not enough muscle or fat) and had some signs of pain. A blood test showed some infection (not specified) so she prescribed Metacam and Bactrim.
He was still active and eating well up until this.
We are waiting for the results of various tests to come back to identify what he might have but since starting the Metacam and Bactrim:

• his appetite has decreased and he is no longer really eating hay, and slowly eating but barely finishing 2tbsp of pellets a day. He will however accept and quickly eat fresh vegetables and fruit.
  
• he seems significantly less active though flopping out and showing no signs of pain that I can identify
  
• I woke to find 6 large collections of uneaten cecotropes this morning
  

It has been warmer than average here but he's indoors. It's probably 24 in the apartment.
I'm worried. The vet doesn't open until tomorrow. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Species:rabbit
Age:3
Sex/Neuter status:male neutered
Breed:Holland lop
Body weight:1.66kg
History:lost weight once before for seemingly no reason
Clinical signs:weight loss, some pain, some sort of infection on blood tests
Duration:unknown ... Has been losing weight steadily and I didn't notice
Your general location:Sweden
Links to any test results, X-rays, vet reports etc. that you have:nothing yet, will update as results come in, on Metacam and Bactrim

Was trying to find an efficient way to use leverage to stack equities, bonds, and managed futures, while getting a strong factor tilt in. Here are three theoretical portfolios:

1. 1.7x leverage (93% stocks + 50% ITTs + 30% MF)
   1. SCV = 45% = 20% AVUV + 15% AVDV + 10% AVEE
   2. Stacks = 55% = 30% RSST + 10% NTSI + 10% NTSE + 5% TMF (50% "ITT exposure")
2. 1.9x leverage (90% stocks + 75% ITTs + 25% MF) - simplified version of option 1
   1. SCV = 45% = 20% AVUV + 15% AVDV + 10% AVEE
   2. Stacks = 55% = 25% RSST + 20% VXUS + 10% TMF (75% "ITT exposure")
3. 1.6x leverage (80% stocks + 40% ITT + 20% total bonds + 20% MF)
   1. SCV = 40% = 20% AVUV + 10% AVDV + 10% AVEE
   2. Stacks = 60% = 40% RSSB + 20% RSBT

TMF to ITT exposure estimation: TLT's duration is 16.76 years, so TMF's interest rate sensitivity is similar to that of a 50 year duration. NTSX/I/E have duration of 6.68 years & RSSB 6.48 years, so overall, 1% TMF = 7.5% intermediate term treasuries for volatility purposes - not exactly how it works, but this is just to calculate leverage versus RSSB, NTSX/I/E, and BND.
I had originally settled on 50% SCV + 50% RSSB, but giving up some equities for managed futures seems to make sense given their low correlation.
Backtest Changes/Limitations:

• Obviously, past performance does not indicate future returns
• DFA funds were used in place of Avantis, since they're older
• Anytime I filled in an ER, I estimated a little bit higher, just to get a more conservative backtest
• KMLMX allocations are 2/3 of RSBT/RSST since they seem to target DBMF's volatility, but KMLMX has simulated backtests that go farther back
• VXUS is used in place of NTSI and NTSE, so the ratios don't match the theoretical portfolio above
• FUSGX is one of the oldest treasury funds I could find, but high ER, so changed the ER to 0

Backtesting Options 1 & 3 seems to show that:

• Going from VT to RSSB increased real returns significantly, and risk-adjusted returns slightly.
• RSSB to RSSB + SCV increased real and risk-adjusted slightly.
• RSSB + SCV to RSSB + SCV + RSBT increased returns slightly, but greatly reduced risk.
• RSSB + SCV + RSBT to our Test portfolio increased returns significantly, and risk-adusted returns slightly.

Separately backtesting Options 1 & 2 let's us go slightly further back, to find Option 1 has slightly higher returns, but slightly worse risk adjusted returns. This is probably just noise and could easily flip either way depending on time periods and whatever randomness the future holds.
Adding Gold reduces max drawdown, but reduces CAGR. Similar Sharpe and Sortino to Options 1 & 2.
Would love to hear this community's thoughts on these portfolios.

I have a ccr2004-1g-12s+2xs set up as the router, and a crs312-4c+8xg. I upgraded from 7.14.2 to 7.14.3. My internet speeds slowed down. I then discovered it was the entire network that slowed down. My wireless (Omada with local software controller), main computer(connected to mgmt vlan on router,, and work laptop (on separate VLAN on switch) are both slower than normal, and it was normal speeds before the update, so it doesn't appear to be an issue with config of vlans or network cards. A test connected directly to the att Router shows good speeds. Does anyone know of any reason this would happen? I'm not home at the moment, so I can't upload the config, but if it's necessary, I definitely can when I get home. (Speeds before were 2gbps up and down. Now the main computer shows 82down, 32up, while work shows 350down, 900up, and directly connected shows 2gbps up/down.

Well, fellow apes what a week that has been. Quite a roller coaster ride (again) surely leaving all of us a bit exhausted after having to digest all the things that happened over the past days. Some were busy with having their eyes glued to the screen during work frantically switching between X, Reddit and chart, others with burning through their last brain cells by trying to decipher all those memes and some with finding some spear cash in their couch to buy more. And probably many of us doing all of that together. Below the line that week brought us many SIGNS including the ultimate SIGN so let’s recap.
FIRST THE OUVERTURE
After 3 YEARS OF NIGHT many of us found ourselves confronted with the question “YOU ARE STILL HERE ? IT’S OVER.” And let’s face it, somehow that was an understandable question. After such an incredible long time, with the engagement and the hype fading, with the price in an undeniable huge downward channel, any outsider making such statement had a point. IT APPEARED THAT WE HAD TAKEN THE DEMISE OF OUR STOCK RATHER LIGHTLY. All you could put against it was I LIKE THE STOCK.
Then the week before, the price started turning up. From 10 towards 18. Nice move but nothing out of the ordinary. Just one of the usual periodic run ups within the big downwards channel, nothing to get excited about it.
However then this week we started to break out of that death spiral and managed to hold above.
After 3 years being in coma some BLEEPS ON THE MONITOR appeared. You’d watch that bleeps carefully but holding back on excitement. What are the ODDS that your beloved stock after that long time would suddenly WAKE UP FROM SLEEP.
But the bleeps got stronger and faster and clearly something was going on. The signals on the monitor showed odd SHAPES LIKE A WELL KNOWN ANIMAL. You were still not convinced. How often had you been tricked over the past years, just to see your hopes crushed again.
Yet this time it’s different. Out of nowhere THE KITTY RETURNS, THE DRAGON AWAKES and price rockets up to 80. THE DOG DAYS ARE OVER.
WE ARE BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN.
So all fine and dandy ? Not yet. IT’S GONNA BE A BUSY FEW WEEKS. Or months or years. Who knows, who cares. After WALKING BACKWARD for quite some while we started to WALK FORWARD again and JUMPED OVER SOME WALLS.
Maybe there is a big PLAN. Maybe there is even no PLAN needed as it it’s anyhow inevitable so we just need to wait it out.
YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE SECRET ? Maybe it’s LEAPS, maybe it’s option chains and gamma ramps, warrants, dividends, NFTs,a default of a bank or hedgefck, a market crash, or some other crap.
Maybe someone pulls a KANSAS CITY SHUFFLE or plays the REVERSE CARD.
Nobody really knows as IT HAS NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE.
But ONE DAY YOU’LL UNDERSTAND.
Whether it will be a sequel or a REQUEL I don’t have a clue and I don’t really care. I’m dumb money and definitely not a successful investor. In fact I hate it. I only invest some money in stocks because the f*ing governments and central banks are destroying FIAT by creating money out of thin air, creating mega inflation and with that steal our savings. So you are forced to look for ways to preserve the little you have.
Sure I spent quite some time on trying to understand the market and all ist fancy instruments. If you join a GAME you better make sure to understand the rules. But what’s the point of knowing the rules when the opponent can bend and manipulate them in broad day light and the referee looks conveniently away. So I’m done with that crap.
But with GME it’s a different game. AS STUPID AS WE APPEAR we have something which makes us unbeatable. Resilience, patience and strong beliefs. And we are many. STAY WITH YOUR FRIENDS and activate PREP MODE AND HOLDING PATTERN.
We know who THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY is in this game. But IT’S NOT ABOUT REVENGE IT’S A RECKONING.
So stay cold blooded and level headed. Don’t let yourself get over-hyped, don’t let yourself get FUDed. No targets, no limits, JUST UP.
Obviously the kitty wouldn’t have returned and put so much time and effort in hitting us with a stakkato of well prepared high level MEMES if he wouldn’t know that something BIG is in the making. So IF HE MOVES I’m MOVED.
However, the ultimate SIGN this week that we are still game on, always were and always will be was not delivered to us by the kitty, RC, corporate filings or some DD.
No, the ultimate undisputable SIGN was delivered by our opponents themselves and I’m sure they hate that they had to give it to us and show their dirty hand.
Having the price RUNNING up from 10 to 80 (let’s not forget that’s 320 before split) delivered waterproof evidence that they indeed never closed, never settled. That SIGN IS A WARNING to all of those still badly TRAPPED that there is no escape, nowhere to RUN nowhere to hide. There is no STRATEGIE SORTIE.
That’s all we need to know. As it’s clear who will win this GAME OF CHICKENS. Not those greasy desk warriors who are hanging at a thread and having billions at stake but a bunch of battle tested DUMP APPEARING apes who found the LOOPHOLE and don’t even blink no matter what crap you throw at them and who have nothing to lose by just holding on.
So whenever it will be and however it will be, we never had and after this week absolutely don’t have any reason to doubt that one day we will

 GO OUT WITH A BIG BANG ! 

Just HANG IN THERE and and STAY WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

Link to download app:
~https://rewards.cslplasma.com/referral/referral-unique-code/eyJkb25vcklEIjoiMDBEMjNEVSIsImNvZGUiOiJaVUxNSFhYVkNCIn0~
I have advice for new plasma donors who may be considering to try it out and earn extra money:

• Plasma is 92% water and the rest is mostly protein elements.
• The plasma is separated from your blood and your red blood cells are returned to you in cycles.
• Per FDA regulations, you're only allowed to donate plasma twice in a 7 day period, with a 48 hour wait inbetween those two times. Don't risk your health by hopping around to different plasma donation centers to circumvent these regulations, and you may get caught if you do.

1. Eat a meal high in protein 2-3 hours before donating, but your plasma protein levels depend on what you ate the day before.
2. Drink plenty of water and/or non-caffeinated juice before donating to stay hydrated.
3. Avoid caffeine such as in coffee or soda before donating or you may get nauseous and vomit or faint during your donation.
4. No alcohol 24 hours before, and for a little while after donating.
5. No exercising for at least 6 hours after donating as it can put too much stress on the vein.
6. Some people get away with smoking or vaping nicotine before and after donating, but it's recommended not to for 2 hours before and after. The nicotine can raise your heart's pulse rate.
7. If your pulse rate is 100 or above, you'll be able to do a vitals retake after a 15 minute wait. But if it's 100 or higher again you'll be deferred for the day. If your pulse rate is an issue, listen to "Pink Noise" or "Green Noise" at a low volume before donating which may help reduce your pulse rate, along with its effect on lowering your blood pressure.
8. There is a risk of getting a blown vein if the worker is having a hard time finding your vein when they're sticking you with the needle or if you have small veins. You may get deferred until your vein heals if that happens. But it's ok, your body is able to regenerate your veins with a process called Angiogenesis.
9. There is a risk of blood clots, but when your blood is constantly moving through the machine it prevents that from happening.
10. You may be subject to drug screening. The drug screening tests for methamphetamines, cocaine, and heroin. Certain pharma prescription meds may show up as a false positive so you'll want to let the plasma center know what meds you're taking. Testing positive for these drugs can result in a permanent deferral from donating plasma.
11. A sample of your blood will be drawn periodically to test for certain sexually transmitted infections (STIs). A positive test will result in either a temporary or permanent deferral from donating plasma. If you've ever been diagnosed or received treatment for HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis B (HBV) or Hepatitis C (HCV) you will be permanently deferred from donating plasma.

Donating Plasma with Managed Diabetes
Individuals with well-controlled diabetes can contribute to plasma donation, but certain criteria need to be met:
Absence of Complications: This means no existing diabetic complications affecting your kidneys, heart, blood vessels, or eyes.
Insulin Independence: If you rely on insulin for diabetes management, a three-month waiting period is required after using needles for non-prescribed medications. Additionally, you must be free of symptoms or treatment needs related to blood sugar fluctuations (high or low) for the past three months.

1. Healthy Feet: Active foot ulcers requiring medical attention will disqualify you from donation.
2. Steady Balance: You shouldn't experience dizziness or lightheadedness upon standing.
3. Type 1 Consideration: For Type 1 diabetics, eating within two hours of donation is mandatory.

• Wait a few hours before taking the bandage wrap off of your arm after donating.
• It's recommended to use Vitamin E oil/Mineral oil on the needle site for the puncture area to heal better. A Q-tip can be used to apply it easier. I simply dip the Q-Tip in the bottle, but never dip the used cotton back into the bottle.
• Frequently donating over a prolonged period of time may lead to your body having decreased vitamin D levels.
  
• Red meats are particularly high in the protein vitamins and minerals found in plasma.
  
• Personally, I take a Now brand Vitamin D supplement that contains vitamin D3, Calcium, Magnesium, and Zinc. But I only take a half a dose, 1 gel capsule instead of 2, since I get these from eating meats and other foods as well. It's bad for your health if you take too much of these vitamins and minerals over time. I also take an Iron supplement. I also drink a protein shake before donating. Just to be safe.
  

Link to download app:
~https://rewards.cslplasma.com/referral/referral-unique-code/eyJkb25vcklEIjoiMDBEMjNEVSIsImNvZGUiOiJaVUxNSFhYVkNCIn0~
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Code: ZULMHXXVCB

Vana Galvenniere, "Rightful" heir to the Throne of the Marble Steppes
Pre-Sisters Coronation: Vana Galvenniere, daughter of Avasa Galvenniere, was born nine years prior to her sister Vala. This period of her life was what one would expect for one born into her family; being taught history, that in the past first borns take the Throne, and that she'll have to learn how to take over once her mother passes. During this time, Vana's mother seemed to care for her as any other mother would. However, her mother's attitude towards Vana would shift dramatically when Vala was born. Vana would now suddenly be treated with cruelty by her mother. Vana's grades when being taught were never enough for mother. Vana's combat abilities were never good enough for mother. And when Vana "underperformed", mother would punish her in extreme ways. Beatings, withholding food, and making her sleep in the castles stables were what Vana's mother would deem appropriate for her daughters "failings". To others, Vana did extremely well in every subject she was being taught, but mother seemed to think otherwise. Or worse, simply enjoyed causing her daughter pain.
During this period, Vana would rarely see her sister, and the few times she did only grew her jealousy. Vala was given all the love and praise Vana wanted, and occasionally their mother would have them duel. Vala always won. After these sparring sessions and any "disappointing" test results, Vana was to spend the night in the stables. It was dark, cold and there was nowhere to sleep. She would only be allowed to take the clothes she had already been wearing at the time. These made the worst days in Vana's life. Some nights, servants and guards, who either had issues with her mother or simply wanted to hurt someone, would pay Vana visits. The men and women who would come to hurt Vana as some form of retaliation were bad enough, but the ones who simply wanted something to torture were far worse than Vana could have ever imagined.
There was only ever one period of time when Vana would be treated well while staying in the stables. One night, a boy about her age was sent to fetch a tool, but came across Vana, curled up and crying. He took the tool he needed, but returned shortly after with a blanket and some food. He would spend time each night with her, simply talking or letting her vent her sadness and anger. After two weeks, he stopped showing up. Unknown to Vana, her mother has transferred the boy and his family to another part of the city when she found out what the young man had been doing. Vana never found out that it was her mother's doing, and had thought that she herself was what pushed the boy away. This was the happiest she had been in years, and she couldn't help but have grown feelings for him, so once he had "left her" a bitter sense of betrayal lingered.
Post-Sisters Coronation: Years later, Vana and Vala's mother was finally dead, leaving a will that would be read before the most powerful families in the empire. Vana, naturally, could not be more relieved. She would finally become Empress and prove her mother wrong after all the horrors she had been put through. As the event went on, Vana only grew happier, she felt as though her excitement knew no bounds. As the will was about to be read before the guests, Vana stood at the ready. She was going to walk up to that podium and retrieve the title she so desperate craved. The title she had quite literally suffered for. But their was something unique in that will, something the Empire hadn't seen in generations. In it, Vana's mother specified that Vala would be her successor. Vana dropped the glass she had been sipping from, as tears began to form in her eyes. Even after all this, her mother still won. Vala stepped up, somewhat confused but apparently excited all the same. Vana retreated into the castle halls to leave the ceremony altogether.
As the ceremony began to slow down, Vana returned, donning an outfit more suitable for combat and her favorite sword. Before the empire itself, Vana challenged her sister for the rights to the Throne. Vana knew she would lose to her sister. She always did. There were a couple of ways Vana hoped the duel would end: either she manages to defeat her sister and become Empress, or she would perish by her sisters hand. She believed either way would work well enough, even if the odds of winning were astronomical. In front of the entire empire, Vana fought Vala and was down within minutes, losing not only the match in the most humiliating amount of time possible, but also a small piece of her veil (frill). She could remember the silence that overtook the room, where even though there were over one hundred guests, the only noise she could hear was the blood dripping to the floor from her new injury. Vana remembers clearly looking up from her kneeling position to her sister, the one whom mother pampered with everything she could ever want. Without saying a word or retrieving her lost flesh, Vana stood and left her sister behind. Before she left, accessed the family treasury, taking as much as she could before leaving for good.
She purchased a large plot of land far away from the city, on a plateau high enough she would still be able to see her old home in the distance, towering into the clouds, a massive spire that would always serve as a reminder of what she deserves. Despite being so far away, however, she can't outrun her past. Most nights, she can hardly close her eyes without being back in the stables, the hungry eyes of those who committed such unspeakable acts upon her when she was younger closing in around her. It's a rare luxury when she doesn't wake up frightened or crying. Despite her living so far away, she still travels to the city occasionally for large parties and events to keep up her image and to gather possible allies that may be willing to help her in the future. That being said, the Vana the public knows isn't the real Vana. She puts on an act, a friendly facade to interact with those she doesn't trust or know well. And those she does trust and know well are few and far between. At the end of the day, however, she really only has one goal to work towards. And she will wait as long as she has to to make sure it's perfect. Eventually, she will be Empress, or die trying.

I did an at home blood test (MediChecks in the UK) due to feeling lethargic for a few weeks and also noting that my mother, father, and aunts and uncles have high cholesterol so wanted to see what mine was. Additionally I have been supplementing d3 and k2 for about 6 months now due to suspected SAD which has improved so I intend to keep taking that as it doesn’t say I’m over supplementing. Also I was already taking magnesium bisgylcinate 100mg and melatonin 3mg for sleep and a multivitamin vegan health spray (b12 240% NRV, d3 3000IU or 1500% NRV, Iron 36% NRV, iodine 100% NRV - the bottle doesn’t give other mg info) and cbd oil 68mg.
My results showed acceptable but low b12, low iron, high cholesterol and high inflammation markers.
Due to these results my full stack looks like:
Morning Vitamin D3 and K2: 7000 iu Iron: 20mg omega 3: 1000mg (says 400mg of DHA) B12: 1,000 ųg or 40,000 NRV health spray: mentioned above Cbd: 68mg
Noon fiber gummies: 10mg
Evening Magnesium: 100mg Melatonin: 3mg Iron: 20mg Turmeric with black pepper: 600mg turmeric, 5mg pepper
I have not been sick at all but have been going through immense stress at work, could that be contributing to the inflammation?
I have a history of poor relationships with both food and excerise but have been working in the emotional side of this and will be working on upping my exercise as well as eating better in addition to the supplements. Additionally I’ll be contacting my GP for a full official blood test.

Hi, So, now i can say for sure i got rhinophyma. I think i will say something about my nearly 2 years journey and how all started. It is very hard to find something on the internet, so i hope it can be useful for some people. Well, so first my problems with redness on face started 15 years ago. I was misdiagnosed with sebderm, later with allergies, but never with rosacea. After 2, 3 years i gave up on all creams and started enjoing my life with sun. And boom, all redness disaperad, at summer my face was looking normal, per winter little bit red but it was not so bad. And then after 10 years, so 2 years ago i wake up one day with a swelling on my left cheek, and pain in this area. I have extremely sensitive skin and can feel even smallest changes. I went to GP and because redness was very small they said it is not dermathological.I was sure from begining it is some kind of phyma, but....i went to whole procedures. First CT scan and ENT visit...all clear.Then MRI, also shows nothing. It was september 2023 when i developed big butterfly red rash on my cheeks. And finally was directed to Dermathology. First doctor said he doesn't see nothing and this type of redness is normal, i could not believe it. Luckly i made revisit and seen another doctor. He examined me and said it is rosacea or lupus, but more like rosacea, prescribed me with ivermectin, metro and doxycyline 40 mg, also has done bloodtest for ANA and ENA to eliminate lupus. Tests came back negative but medications was not helping. At february they done biopsy from my cheek. It was the time( january, february) when i started to notice shape change on my nose. It bacame more boulbus, larger and more bumpy with more thickened skin on right side.At january i mentioned it to my derm but he started laughing and said for sure it is not rhino. Well, again doctors who are not listening patients, they do not understand that patient can see the changes and feel them. But whatever, my biopsy results came back and three weeks ago i had a visit with new derm.Biopsy eliminated lupus but shows skin thickening, and i again mention about my nose, she examinated it( first doctor who touch it) and said, yes skin is more thicker at this places, there is also diffrent skin texture and colour.It is early rhinophyma, she sent me for bloodtest to start isotretinoine, and after 2 weeks i got visit with diffrent derm, if the bloodtest will be ok and he will diagnose rhino as a second opinion i am starting isotretinoine/accutane. I am devastated. My mental is so low that i am afraid of mirrors, i reduced social contacts to minimum. But....couple more sympthoms that i got: 2 years ago on my nose developed two small tiny red spots, it never dissapeared. In this 2 years more of them appeared, always 2 close together. They not disapearing. Too small to squize them, even if i tried there was only blood. Feeling pressure on my nose all the time, right side is bigger and i can feel it is heavier. Itchy mostly on the tip of the nose. Of course bulbous shape, tip is larger, left side at the bottom, right side from the middle of the nose to the bottom, whole nose looks bigger. Oily skin,large pores on the nose. Redness, or more pinkish, more like big pink spots, not whole nose is pink, where the skin is overgrowing it is more like blindspots and skin is tough, when i touch it i can feel like a lizard skin. And the best, sympthom that i never found on the internet but maybe someone got it as well: I can hear, feel some cracking, poping sounds from my nose. First i thought it is from inside, but now i am sure it is skin overgrowing making this sound, maybe because it is pressing airtubes inside the nose, i do not know, but it is horrible. I wake up at night and can't sleep because of that sound. Ok, long post, but i tried my best to mark all the sympthoms.Hope it will help someone else to diagnose it asap. Good luck.

Hello!
I have a 14 yo male neutered golden retriever, 31 kg/68 lbs. in Canada. He’s been fairly healthy for the most part: active and playing, pees/poops normally, eats normally, we noticed last July that he was drinking more water than normal, found a splenic mass but with his age we didn’t do any further testing other than x-rays of his chest that came back clear as well. Every once in a while he wheezes for a couple seconds but it goes away, more recently he’ll make choking sounds but nothing comes up. He’s slowed down with his age but always got a clean bill of health during annual vet visits.
On May 5 he suddenly presented with hard swelling on his right hind hock, there was a bit of limping and he seemed wobbly and wasn’t putting weight on that leg. He was completely fine the day before.
On May 6, I told him to the vet and we started him on metacam thinking it was arthritis and took X-rays to rule out injury. X-rays came back clear. No improvement in swelling after a couple days on the metacam, although the hard swelling turned into a soft/edema like swelling. Did another set of X-rays to send to the specialist to rule out bone cancer, report came back clean - see link.
Since it wasn’t bone cancer, the vet started him on clindamycin on May 12 to rule out infection. Still no improvement in the swelling. Vet has tried to draw fluid twice but unsuccessful each time. We did blood work on May 16 and results didn’t seem to pinpoint what was causing the swelling. The vet did mentioned his splenic mass might be bleeding a bit.
Compression/vet wrap helps but swelling returns once we take it off. Swelling/edema remains in the right hind leg. He’s still willing and able to go for walks. This morning he struggled to finish his breakfast and drank more water than typical. I know he is a showing signs of discomfort in the way he has trouble laying down and getting up on the couch.
The vet will be sending us to internal med/oncology specialists but I wanted to post here and see if anyone has any insights.
I realize that with his age, whatever the prognosis is, likely isn’t good, but I’m hoping for a miracle that whatever this is is less dire than it seems. It just came on so suddenly.
Link has last summers urinalysis, ultrasound results, and more recent X-rays and bloodwork, and a picture of my sweet boy.
Thank you!

I am 31 years old and a nurse. I have multiple sclerosis but am not affected by it in my daily life 10 months ago I woke up with the taste of blood in my mouth. I got up and spat in the sink and yes there was blood. I tried to calm myself down and bought some more toothpaste For gingivitis. It helped. But I still had that in the back of my mind, what if I have lung c. The worry subsided. Until 4 months ago when I again tasted blood in my mouth. I reported that there was also some blood from it I really worked myself up. Googled, Googled and Googled. I didn't dare go to the doctor. In connection with a change of medicine for the multiple sclerosis, I asked to have a scan of the lungs. It came out fine.Then it went completely wrong. Because in the meantime I had started to experience nausea. It came and went and I ended up going to the doctor, I had discomfort in my stomach and my body was under maximum pressure. I googled and googled Could I have bowel c? Had I lost weight? My blood tests came out fine. But I was sent to Gastro and colonoscopy. I was not human during the 14 days the tests had to go through. I had halicobacter bacteria. I got on antibiotics. Which then gave me fungus in my mouth. I was then treated for the fungus which gave me an allergic reaction. I subsequently came on antihistamines And adrenal cortex hormone. I am now healthy again. But now I'm left with massive anxiety. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I should handle this situation?

THE MEXICAN THINKER TO THE MOST EXCELLENT LORD GENERAL OF THE AMERICAN IMPERIAL ARMY DON AGUSTÍN DE ITURBIDE
TO HIS EXCELLENCY LORD:
When at times opinion grows in favor of your excellency, wishing to seat him on the Throne of Anahuac, when proclamations in favour of your excellency are heard everywhere: Augustine I, emperor of America, when the Nation has nothing else to reward the singular merit of your excellency, but starting her sovereignty with her liberator and, finally, when your excellency has just made us happy, it is precisely when you want to make us miserable, announcing to us that you wish to separate yourself from the government.
It won't be like that, God lives! No, your excellency will not achieve it even if you want it, nor will there be a single American who will consent to it, because seven months ago your excellency was his, and today he belongs to the nation that he has liberated: he belongs to it and not to himself.
Your excellency himself indicates this truth to us when in his tender and laudable Proclamation of September 27 he tells us: "You already know the way to be free, it is up to you to point out the way to be happy", since to be happy it is necessary that your Excellency not be apart from us.
No, sir, either Emperor or nothing; and if your excellency is not emperor, may our independece be damned. We do not want to be free if your excellency isn't leading his countrymen.
America is not a fatuous nation, it is not a barbaric or ungrateful nation, it wishes to reward your services, and it only wants you to be the one who wields the scepter of its government.
You renounced, generous ITURBIDE, even the three stripes of a colonel, you never even wanted the title of excellency, content only with liberating your country, you long, like the Washington, wish to recommend the law to us, and then retire to rest to the bosom of your illustrious family; But let my country perish, and be confused among the enslaved nations if permits such thing... No, great man, not American hero, you do not deserve such oblivion, and if my country does not put you in Montezuma's throne,she will be the most ungrateful in the inhabited globe.
Let anyone who is your enemy, who opposes this glorious idea, come out through the press, use your Plan of Iguala as a pretext and do whatever they want to show that the crown does not belong to you, I will prove to them to the point that it is very much yours, because you have won it. with your sword, with your religion, with your politics; And if there is any enemy of yours who hates you, let him come out and fight me with the sword, and then... oh! I will have the satisfaction of tearing out his vile heart and bathing my hands in ungrateful, horrible and... blood. . My God! Stop my impetus and rage that excites in me the consideration of even supposing that there is even a single American who does not want the immortal ITURBIDE to wear the crown.
I swear to God, most excellent sir, that my tears moisten this paper when I remember your merit and your tender farewell; But I console myself with the fact that my country is a heroic, great and grateful nation, and will not allow anyone but one of its countrymen to sit on its throne who has just removed the chains of a long servitude and placed it in the rank of sovereign. If he does not do so, Europe, the entire world will abhor this behavior and his ruin will be infallible.
Yes, I predict it: if your excellency is not the emperor of America, anarchy or despotism stalks us. They are in front of us, and in less than a year the kingdom will be involved in the misfortunes from which we have just emerged.
Your excellency does not read this paper with pleasure; I know it well: his moderation and humility scare him and make him conceive of a crime where there is nothing but a very brilliant virtue.
For this reason, your excellency will do very well not to aspire to the crown, and the country will do very wrong if it does not gird his heroic temples with it, because it will not pay him with anything else.
The enemies of your excellency will say that you have sworn to preserve this kingdom for the Bourbon dynasty, and I say that this oath does not bind the nation, because it did not do it and your excellency did not have, when you did it, any investiture, granted by her, to constitute him as her representative. So, your excellency, ignoring the vote of the nation, could not dispose of it, nor is it obliged to succumb to the will of your excellency against its expresses will, and when he knows that some harm may follow.
In those days we writers remained silent, because it was convenient to consolidate opinion, and achieve freedom for the country; But today that we have achieved it, it is necessary that we speak the truth.
This is that everyone, the army and the people, want your excellency to be the emperor. They have given the necessary proof, proclaiming your excellence everywhere. The only thing left is either for the Imperial Army to do it with violence, or for the kingdom to declare it through its representatives gathered in the Cortes, and it must be done in one of two ways, under penalty of accrediting the army and the nation of ungrateful and ignorant.
I know well that Mr. Lord Don Ferdinand the Seven cannot come, because he would have to abdicate the crown of Spain to one of the infantes. Nor should any of these want to come to a kingdom that they don't know, whose climate will be harmful to them and the customs repugnant.
Furthermore, as long as our Constitution is not approved, this should not be discussed, and the Cortes must establish so many restrictions on the King who comes, that no European will want to come.
For example: they must decree that he is not married, and that he marries an American; that he comes alone and that he cannot place his relatives in the governments of the capitals or sea ports, much less make them army generals. That his correspondence with overseas states must be public and seen by the Cortes, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
With such obstacles, essential to put in place in any good policy, who would want the throne of America? No one, and then who does it belong to but your excellency, who has earned it, who is our friend, our brother and our compatriot?
Let it not be said that your excellency is not descended from royal blood, because that is a concern as old as it is ridiculous, since the lord is not the one who is born but the one who knows how to be, and only your excellency has known how to be the liberator of his homeland.
Furthermore, to be an emperor by merit, like your excellency, it is not necessary to be the son of kings. Augustus, in glorious Rome, was nothing, and afterwards he was an emperor of the empire he founded; and Napoleon, in glorious France, was less than your excellence in this America. So why should your excellency, having done the same as Napoleon and Augustus, elevating your country to the kind of sovereign empire, not deserve the title of emperor that they deserved?
Nor should it be believed that the exaltation of your excellency to the Mexican throne would cause jealousy among the leaders of the Imperial Army. They are all prudent and know the indisputable merit of your excellency, and thus, I am of the opinion that they themselves would be the first to fly to offer their obedience.
If the freedom of the press allows us to publish our political ideas without offending before the law, I have said what I feel, and time will show that this vote is that of the nation.
Therefore, most excellent sir, do not even think about separating yourself from us. If Washington did it in North America, the government he installed was also diverse, and his homeland could not make him sovereign. Your excellency is in various circumstances, and if the American nation, always grateful and generous, tries to affirm you on a throne that it has won, your excellency has no discretion to renounce.
Sovereignty resides in the nation, and, under this most brilliant principle, it is up to it to give itself laws and appoint itself an emperor that suits it. And will anyone be able to accommodate her other than your excellency, who has just removed her from the class of slave, placing her in that of mistress? Will no European prince be able to compare in merit with your excellency? Will he love us as your excellency loves us and should love us? And could America see itself indifferently dominated by a strange monarch, leaving its favorite son in dark oblivion?
The ungrateful say what they want, but the country, reason, justice and gratitude say no, and that the throne of Anáhuac has been designated by the immortal monarch for the dynasty of the worthy ITURBIDE.
Far be it from me vile flattery. The general opinion is that which is expressed by my pen; The interest of the country directs it and not my personal interest, whose springs move with exclusion of only the low souls.
I know that there is no right to force my country to receive a foreign monarch on its throne, if it does not voluntarily call him. I see that the people proclaim your excellency everywhere, and this makes me know that they do not want a king of the street, but of their own house. I warn of many difficulties for, even when called by the nation, any European prince to admit a foreign throne, and in the circumstances of the day. And lately I consider that this very important matter is only for the Cortes to resolve: they can only choose the dynasty that suits them, as they alone are sufficiently authorized to represent the nation and defend its rights.
In such a case, if, as is not doubtful, the nation is solemnly declared in favour of your excellency, there is no further discretion left but to admit.
Your excellency knows well how much the power of a sovereign nation is, and remembers that in other times the Spanish offered the humble and virtuous Wamba with her throne; He constantly resigned until the determined people gathered, searched for him, found him and, presenting him with a crown and a sword, said to him: "The nation wants you to reign and command it; you have resisted many times. Here is the crown that points you to the throne, or this sword that will kill you if you do not admit it." Wamba was surprised by such an injunction, he admitted the throne and reigned for some years with the benefit and appreciation of the people.
Everything must be, sir, the work of time, and we will soon know what we will end up with. Meanwhile, your excellency do not think of separating from us. The country needs your person, and your excellency must sacrifice yourself for the country. Does your excellency want to be in the bosom of his family? Bring her to Mexico, which is his home everywhere, but never try to separate yourself from the government.
Whether with the sword at the head of the armies, or with the pen at the head of the government, it must always be useful to us, as it brings together courage and prudence; and what is more, he has conquered the hearts and has become master of the general opinion of the entire kingdom.
May your excellence live many years, and live with us for the happiness of the nation.
Mexico, September 29, 1821.
Your Excellency Sir
José Joaquín Fernández de Lizardi.
NOTES
1st Once the layout of this paper had been laid out, I was pleased to see that the Supreme Junta appointed the most excellent Lord ITURBIDE as generalissimo of sea and land. Congratulations to all the members of the JUNTA, as they know how to appreciate the merit of the hero ! But will this be the reward he deserves? Will this reward his services? Has the country given him what he can and what he should give it? No way.
Generalissimo became his excellency with his courage and prudence. So in reality nothing has been done by declaring the same thing that we know.
The nation alone, I repeat, is the one that can and should reward its liberator, sharing with him the same as he gave it, and it will not do much.
Mr. ITURBIDE removed the country from a servile dependence and restored the rights of sovereignty that had been usurped for so many years. Then what will this grateful nation do to share with your excellency a sovereignty that it owes you?
I hope that, in the first session of Congress, the throne will be assigned to him by acclamation. Oh, may I have the pleasure of once kissing the hand of the Emperor of America, and may death close my eyes forever! Then our freedom will be certain and lasting, and the nation will reach the degree of opulence and majesty that corresponds to it.
2nd The day of the swearing-in is approaching, and, as an organ of public opinion, I must warn that it is not advisable to say a word about this kingdom being preserved for any part of Europe. Because if such is sworn, the oath will be void, null and of no value, because the nation does not love anyone but Mr. ITURBIDE, and with my head I answer for this proposition.
The nation becomes uncomfortable when it reads in some public newspapers that a king is asked from Spain, and that if it does not give one, it will be asked from Naples, Sicily, Austria, France, etc.
This bothers us too much, and it is necessary not to say it again. No foreign prince has any right or merit to occupy the throne of Anáhuac, which falls solely and by right to AUGUSTIN I, Emperor of America.
Besides, it is a shame that our writers go around with those requests and prayers. Europe will say: How foolish will the Americans be that, having a hero to crown at home, they ask a stranger to command them? Or were they so happy with slavery that, at the time of becoming independent from Spain, they wanted to depend on any house in Europe, so as not to have a king from their own?
So they will say, and they will say well. Therefore, it seems to me that the oath should be reduced to preserving the Catholic religion, to supporting independence, as declared by the Cortes, and to maintaining the union with Spain as a friendly power. This is my opinion, and I think it is everyone's opinion.
Mexico, September 29, 1821, the first of our freedom.

So I’ve searched high and low and can’t seem to come to a conclusion:
Jumped another car with my car that has about a year old battery. The dead car still wouldn’t turn over after a few tries.
Ever since then, my battery has been on a 60-75% charge and needs to be jumped as well. Three different tests from shops show a positively healthy battery, healthy alternator and nothing amiss, just a consistently low ish charge.
What else could be going on here? Was it just a coincidence the battery started to not hold a charge as well or did trying 3-4x on the dead car do some damage? Wouldn’t that damage to the battery show up on the tests?
Additionally, the car generally only does shorter trips of 15-20 mins of driving, BUT, this has never been an issue prior.

Have had inner ear discomfort both sides, neck discomfort, inflammation, slightly swollen feeling, for over a year straight. Tinnitus and hyperacusis started 3-4 months ago. Tinnitus has slowly been increasing in loudness. Gets louder when I turn, move my head, open mouth wide. Have had extreme fatigue, heavy brain fog for over a year. Dizziness for about 3 months. A nuero ordered mri of brain which showed nothing. They were ruling out stroke, etc.
ENT did vestibular testing after 4 visits over 3 months of not getting better, got diagnosed a month ago with vestibular neuritis. Seen 3 different practitioners as same ent clinic. They don’t have much to offer or seem willing to help much further other than vestibular physical therapy order. One PA says Eustachian tube dysfunction as well, and says the tinnitus, hyperacusis, inner ear discomfort both sides, occasional distorted sound and slight sound fluctuation in right ear, which tested weak on VNG vestibular test, is probably from ETD. He prescribed nasal sprays and a month after starting fluticasone is when tinnitus started followed by hyperacusis. If it is etd it’s affecting both ears. Blood Allergy tests didn’t show much. Hearing test 4 months ago was normal, tho the test seems biased and not great and was before onset of T and H. Have had jaw discomfort and crackling more frequently the last 2 months. Neck muscle pains as well. Seeing dentist this week about tmj.
Feel like I’m in constant motion, dizzy, which lessens when laying down.
Current pcp said it was all mental, mentioned anti depressants, which I was on for years prior to health issues and it stopped working. He would only refer to a mental health counselor who knew something was not right and then I got VN diagnosis. Pcp makes me feel like a bad person, him and PA dismissed me at every one of 4 visits, so I can’t go there anymore and am waiting for new pcp.
Another un linked issue is heavy eye floaters both eyes, strange vision sensation, light sensitivity. This came on within weeks of feeling inner ear issues. Ophthalmologist did not see anything alarming. They are saying floaters with age. I am 35, nearsighted. He did not know much about autoimmune, Lyme, other possible causes, so he Agreed to send me to a retina specialist, which is in a few weeks.
I’m lined up to get a different opinion from a different ENT clinic, tho I don’t have my hope up for much help.
Was originally told I had mold toxicity.
Have had 2 aura migraine type events in the last 2 months. Some days wake up with headache at back of neck, head joint area. I’ve been to so many doctors and practitioners in Tx and Massachusetts, where I am now. My life has been destroyed for over a year and getting new issues and symptoms as time goes on vs better. Working with a dr on possible late stage Lyme, tho no 100% diagnosis. I am beyond exhausted and desperate to get better. I haven’t been able to work, given up my second job and big love of playing live music, singing, guitar. And my life career of woodworking has been impossible. The fatigue and brain fog, cognitive issues are terrible. Exertional malaise mental and physical activities happens quickly. Feel like I’m in a daze. Weak and achey busy. At the beginning of health downturn I had soow onset of fatigue turn heavy pain from herniated low spine discs 18 months ago. That nerve pain still exists most days, especially if I try to be even lightly active and lift anything over 15 pounds. I’m not overweight. All lab tests that have been done have been normal aside from a vibrant labs test showing 5 bands reactive igg Lyme. And 2 bands igg Babesia. Have tried so many supplements, clean organic diet. If you’ve read this far thank you. Any insight would be appreciated.

I have had a mystery illness over the past year with symptoms of constipation, nausea, reflux, discolored stool, shaking, heightened nervous system, tinnitus, anhedonia. I also lost 40 lbs of weight (but I did have diet restrictions). Some symptoms would come and go (reflux) but other symptoms like constipation are constantly there. I've become severely depressed and hopeless.
I did an endoscopy/colonoscopy and it didn't show anything other than a polyp that was removed and mild chronic gastritis. GI said it's IBS and told me to go away despite my symptoms continuing.
However, I have learned from the experiences of others that the small bowel isn't properly imaged during endoscopy/colonoscopy and the entire middle part of the small bowel (jejunum) isn't seen. I also did a regular full abdomen contrast CT Scan that didn't show anything. As for blood test, my ferritin is elevated (323) but CRP(1.7) and ESR (2) seems normal. I also did a lactulose breath test that showed I had high methane and hydrogen gas
My doctors don't know what's going on and tend to eventually get rid of me. One of them told me I can't have crohns because I have constipation which is not consistent with the frequent diarrhea pattern that crohns patients have. They also told me that crohns usually shows up on CT scan with thinning of the intestine lining but I've heard some articles say that it's not that accurate for the small bowel.
Has anybody suffered from small bowel crohns? Is it likely for small bowel crohns to cause more constipation rather than diarrhea when compared to crohns in the colon? Would an MRI be more useful?

I was recently having major concerns with severe fatigue, erectile dysfunction, vision changes, and other issues that seemed to creep up randomly over a few weeks. My doctor ordered a blood test that showed incredibly low free and bioavailable testosterone. My doctor decided to order another test for 30 days later to see if the numbers were still low. I have never had my A1C checked, however my total glucose on my annual bloodwork is always well within range. I have some issues with anxiety (which I'm aware spikes cortisol and blood sugar), in my mid thirties, and have a family history of type 2 (mothegrandfather)
While waiting for my second testosterone test to come back, I decided to get a glucometer. I was stunned to find my fasting blood sugar every morning was between 124-128, and didn't seem to matter if I checked it right after I woke up, an hour after, or an hour after a fasted morning workout. Interestingly 2 hours after carb-filled meals, it was only 130-135 the few times I checked.
I started playing with my diet a little bit, and cutting out as many carbs as possible, eating more fiber and protein over the last 2 weeks, and switched my workouts to morning fasted workouts. Yesterday, I did not exercise, had a large salad with grilled chicken for lunch, skipped dinner, and skipped breakfast the next morning. This wasn't intentional but the day got away from me.
Anyway, I decided to check it right before I ate lunch today at 12:30- And it was 104. This is my lowest reading since playing with the glucometer. I'm not sure if it's been the cleaner eating for the last week, skipping the workout 2 days in a row, or the fact that I have fasted for almost 24 hours now that contributed to it being lower. Probably all 3- But I was relieved to see that my body could actually get it that low lol.
A few days prior to this, my second testosterone test came back, the numbers were actually in range this time, but at the bottom end of the range- so who knows if I have low testosterone that might be messing with my blood sugar, or if my blood sugar is messing with my testosterone, or something else altogether.
I've been seriously into physical fitness (weight lifting and at one time competitive running) for the last 15 years. So I have some self-educated insight into proper diet based on what your goals are.
Over the last 5 years or so, I have kept up with lifting and running 3-6 miles a week. I haven't focused on my diet too much as I'm not doing anything competitively these days and my weight has been unchanged. However I am health-conscious with most of my food, and anything "bad" I do in moderation. I am physically in great shape though I don't pay a lot of attention to my carb intake.
The high fasting blood sugar had me pretty stressed out, taken in context with the low testosterone and everything else. While it has obviously been a good thing to tweak my diet and pay a bit more attention- at this point I'm at a loss to what I'm trying to accomplish or where to go from here. Obviously I should probably have my doctor check my A1C. I am also thinking of getting a continuous glucose monitor because I am a numbers nerd, and really am curious how different foods and eating windows affect my blood sugar while I continue to cut carbs and eat healthier.
I read about the "dawn phenomenon" so several times I took my blood sugar an hour after I woke up and before eating anything- It was still in that 124 range.
What I'm not sure is, is it possible to just have a high fasting blood sugar and not be prediabetic? If I truly was prediabetic, wouldn't my blood sugar 2 hours after a carb filled meal be pretty high, rather than almost the exact same it was when I checked it fasting? To me it seems my body doesn't have a problem lowering it after a meal.
Is it possible that anxiety in the morning is causing the high fasted blood sugar and would that still be categorized as prediabetes? I think it's possible my workouts are too intense, but I'm not sure how to check if that's factoring in other than checking my blood sugar after a few days of not working out, but still eating normal.
Is there anything else I can test, tweak, or look for besides an A1C test and a CGM?
TL, DR: High fasting blood sugar and physical symptoms of prediabetes despite having a decent diet and exercise routine for the last several years. What next?

(F21, M21, together for 2 years, found out 6 months ago)
TL;DR: relationship is healing after his porn addiction and micro-cheating. We have had many conversations, he makes a solid effort and seems to be a changed man. The problem now is the constant flashback reminders. How do you trust again, seeing daily triggers, when the relationship is seriously improving? How to reprogram the mind into renewing trust once more, so I’m not stuck in the past?
**I know people don’t read long posts but if even one person has advice I will seriously appreciate it! PSA: our first relationship. **
Been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He was my best friend before that for 3. I get it, we’re young and it’s normal for guys to watch porn blah blah blah. But this was cheating.
The week we were official, we discussed porn. I asked him how he would feel if I watched porn and vice versa. He expressed strong discomfort. I asked if it would be beneficial to us, he agreed it wasn’t. Since neither of us thought to gain sexual gratification through anybody else, and wouldn’t walk into a strip club or brothel, we decided not to do it online either. We agreed in the conversation that porn is now considered cheating, and off-limits boundary. He admitted to having a porn addiction before, since he was 12.
Fast forward to 6 months into the relationship. I noticed he became far more degrading in sex and also far less interested in me. He would make up excuses for being busy (despite living with me, I know it was quick but this wasn’t official living, he was with me 6 nights a week in a flat on my parents property. We basically lived together as I moved into the flat instead of the main house). After sex, I would explain that I don’t like being degraded THAT much (I normally don’t mind a bit but this was a noticeable difference). He apologised. I asked him if he was watching porn on countless occasions after that, feeling as though the sex was scripted or weirdly unnatural. I told him it was okay if he was watching, I would just prefer to know. He said “of course not” every. Single. Time.
Fast forward to 10 months in. At this point we had been official for that long, but “seeing” each other for roughly a year. I had consistent dreams about him cheating on me with the girl he slept with (my toxic ex-best friend, before we were together in school). She used to judge me for being close friends with him then one day said “I had sex with him last night” as if it was a power move that she got the guy who was flirting with me.
I had insecurities because she is tiny and petite, would talk shit about me to him and brag about having sex with him when he first showed signs of interest in me back at school). Before the porn I struggled with this history and used to cry mid-sex over it because I felt annoyed I wasn’t as sexually experienced or petite as she was. I hardly thought about her after overcoming this so it was weird I saw her fucking him in my dreams after 3 years no contact. My gut was screaming something is wrong.
He left his laptop at mine, (this never happens so I took the opportunity) he had openly told me the password to it before so I knew. Anyway, only come to find that in his search history he has Grace Charis, Kim Kardashian’s tits (he typed a typo so he searched 9 times to find the images) and other girls scattered through his timeline since the last time he cleared his search history. This was without incognito, I could only imagine what else was hidden. It killed me because he told me one of his friends’ girlfriends looked like Kim Kardashian once, I instantly remembered. Yuck.
What hurt most was his instagram. He “never” uses it, and often takes days to respond to cute stuff I send him on there. Turns out he was searching Asian AI pornstar models on instagram (hana_bunny bunny or something), 2 DAYS after my birthday! (Which he put barely any effort into. My 21st he bought me a bucket of cheese and flowers. Thanks I guess?? I spent hundreds for his 21st and made him a book of personalised memories and drawings).
Fast forward. I felt sick to my stomach like never before. Left work early and he knew I went home because he noticed my car wasn’t at work, so he came over. I confronted him. Asked him if he remembered how we talked about porn being cheating? He said yes. I asked him why he thought I deserved to be cheated on then, to which he was silent. I explained how I felt and cried to him saying I would never look like them, and we agreed not to do it.
He confessed straight away. I asked him what genres he normally went for, of course he said “college girls fucking”. Also said he mostly used the top pornhub results that week and did it roughly twice a week for the past 8 months despite the conversation. I believe it was more times than this. At least he was admitting to some of it.
Lots of discussing followed and has ever since. Lots of empty-handed apologies when it was brought up. He purchased porn blockers that I could easily outwit within half a second of testing. But at least he was spending money to fix the problem and it was his idea.
He offered couples counselling but it’s so expensive, I can barely afford rent. He’s offered to pay but I think I need private sessions first, I’m exhausted even explaining this in writing let alone talking to a stranger. I think it’s just a me problem now.
He then decided living with his mates would be better than living with me, despite us going to the same city and same university for the next year ahead. I had turned down moving to another state because he said he would never move there. He told me I had “no chance” of ever living with him and his friends in a heated argument. He said he didn’t want me to “become an accessory to his life”, words he has apologised for but I never forgot.
He moved in with them… but here’s the thing. One of (our mutual) roommate friends has a girlfriend (different girl⁾ whom he has admitted he used to be really attracted to. I told him I would feel gutted that he couldn’t just choose to live with strangers instead so I don’t have to deal with the discomfort of him seeing her potentially more than me, and also that way we would both be in the same position, starting fresh (not choosing his friends over living with me). He then tells the boyfriend I’m upset because he used to like his girlfriend and sugarcoated it, which obviously isn’t the whole story. He told me his friends say I’m crazy for being upset over that, lessening the chance of me ever mingling with them again. Mind you, these guys have all cheated on their partners before and discouraged him from living with me.
Fast forward again. I’m struggling to find a job. I have to pay triple rent because he doesn’t want to live with me at this new place. He has job offers left right and centre, one of them being at a hostel, which is also a club. I told him any of the other 8 jobs sound really good, that’s the only one I’m uncomfortable with due to his porn addiction. I’m worried he will just be flirting the whole time. I was right. He chose that job despite the sadness and anxiety he knew it would bring me.
One day, he BUTT DIALLED me at work (lmaooo). I could hear him flirting with girls in another language (I didn’t know he was learning another language!) and laughing with them like I’ve never heard before. Then he bragged about it to his coworkers and said “she’s so nice, such a great girl”. They cheered him on for speaking the language.
I was fuming. I nearly called it quits that night but since, he has been making an effort. He has drastically improved his behaviour and genuinely makes an effort. He said he has changed his ways, he has apologised many times and though I don’t think he’s necessarily watched porn since I found out, it has been 6 months since, and I’m devastated like it’s the day it happened. The flirting. The way he behaves when I’m not around. I will never know when he’s being disloyal, which sucks. But it’s not like he’s actively messaging or sleeping or hooking up with anyone, it’s only small stuff.
He has done little things here and there to try and reignite the passion: flowers, cards, chocolates and dates etc. which I really appreciate. He doesn’t leave his laptop at mine, even if he knows he is coming back over the same day with it, which was a red flag to me. But so far, I don’t think he’s watching porn. And I have seen a huge improvement in the relationship overall.
My problem now is the reminder. I can’t trust him the way I used to. Every time I see a model I want to crumble. Every time I see Kim Kardashian or Kanye or golfers (Grace) or ads or beautiful women from different countries, it kills a part of me. I have no idea how to move on from this. I get flashbacks all the time. Our intimacy is pretty good still. But every time he calls me beautiful I don’t buy it. There’s always someone better, I feel worthless and I can’t control it anymore. I feel terrible because whilst he’s making great efforts, I still don’t trust him and feel insanely insecure at the thought of him getting to live a double-life. He is a beautiful soul who really does bring out the child in me and I don’t want to lose that. I feel so bad that my brain has changed its thought process. We are now in a much better place together.
He has been proving himself but it still makes me feel like shit knowing I was never good enough for him in the first place. I was his 7th, he was my 1st, not that I care but it explains my devastation. Hence why it’s so heavy for me. I gave him everything and it still wasn’t enough. He was happy to keep secrets and risk the relationship on multiple occasions, but now that things are fine I’m starting to process more. I need a quick fix to changing my mindset and believing him again to save our relationship. Because things are different now and I have hope for us in the future.
—————————- I would LOVE advice on ways to reverse negative thinking. Ways to forgive, truly, and to learn how to believe partners again. I need new tools to be more resilient and confident again, otherwise this won’t survive. I wouldn’t have stayed with him if I didn’t think it was worthwhile, I don’t want to put 5 years down the drain and would like advice other than merely breaking up. I’ve seen a difference, I am the problem now.
Does anyone have any healthy mind habits they can share, or positive ways to overcome this situation? How do you trust again and stop comparing when triggers arise?

If we fast forward GPTs capabilities, pretty soon it should be able to make some things very accurately that take humans a long time to do, by compounding a lot of academic knowledge, for example.
One case I am thinking of is constitutive modeling. I have done some of this myself, for doing vibration analyses, stress and strain, static failure, etc. It's hard and you kind of need to be an expert (as an example, a top professoresearcher in the field might reasonably spend a lot of research time on detailed constitutive modeling of human thorax, or etc).
Sooner or later I should be able to ask GPT, "Please make me an accurate, detailed Constitutive model of the entire human body, with all mechanical and chemical processes handled in every system. I need it to be flexible as male or female, from infants to late old age (with stochastics on various infirmities of the older subjects) I will be using this to test car safety." Basically you're asking GPT for a grail-perfect all encompassing model. And sooner or later, I guess GPT can do it.
Now several things show up:
(1) Who checks this model? Of course GPT could make mistakes. It seems the thing I have asked for should include some very complex factors such as aging and aging with diseases (common and uncommon), perhaps different dynamics of infants. These would all need very knowledgeable experts to check them. Like a whole team of people who are potentially both specialist doctors and mechanical (or specialized PhD biomed) engineers at the same time, also chemists, etc. It's a lot!
And even after vetting, you would need to validate results were within expected parameters.
This project is so immensely big, I don't know where you would get the people to verify and validate your model. And it's only really one domain I'm talking about.
(2) Lets expand this. Sooner or later, let's say GPT-9 is VERY GOOD and we believe in every way it's better than 200 PhDs on problems like this. Cool, so you ask for your constitutive model. Well, why did you even need the domain knowledge to say "constitutive model?" Just say "I need a simulated human for crash-testing." But then, why be even that domain specific? Why not say "I need a car that is safe for humans?"
Let's assume there aren't errors in GPT's output, and it makes a perfectly safe car, implicitly doing all the simulations on God-level perfect constitutive models of humans.
Don't we soon lose the ability to be good engineers and just become dependent slaves to the AI?
(3) I have given the extreme end in (2) above. Lets dial it back and say that GPT works in tandem with humans as a time-saving framework. Lets say as an engineer, I need not focus on smaller-level numerical models and multiphysics to get my constitutive model right. Let's say GPT can handle all this in the background while I design a tool, and it's "mostly good" at it.
This is great, right? It multiplies my efforts as an engineer, and saves me from having to hire as many people to get the job done or spend my precious time doing it.
Still though, while I am becoming an expert in using the abstraction, lower level expertise, below the level of the abstraction is less necessary and less used. Like how people programming on game engines aren't typically working up from an 8086, and don't usually know the kinds of at-the-metal stuff that a whole generation of people knew, which contributed much to making those game engines... Who will make the new engines? (All-knowing GPT, I guess?, and that leads back to point (2), if indirectly)
Also, what else does that deep unabstracted knowledge contribute to? We're kind of past ICs and into microcontrollers. If no one had had to work from z80s and 6502s, and the whole generation of programmers had all been on high-level abstractions such as powerful game engines, then who would have kicked off that revolution?
TL;DR: I'm not saying working at the levels of abstraction or trained neural-network assistant is """bad""" -- obviously you can do a lot more with Bethesda's engine than you can with Forth. And I think a good engineer will be able to solve a lot of problems with GPT-9. Just, there is likely some cost to losing a culture of people holding the very deep, decades-acquired knowledge of the other stuff that we "don't need to worry about" either.

I 21F am 12 weeks pregnant, due my first scan on 22nd May and me and my partner 25M are over the moon. We were both still living at home with parents but have found a house and are moving out 1st June. I haven't told my family but friends know. Do I bother telling my mum and brother?
Here's the sinch. For years my mum has told me if I'm pregnant I'm out without a second glance, she was very verbally and emotionally abusive towards me growing up and neglected me. I have a lot of childhood trauma and insecurities because of the way I was treated. My brother (26M) was the one that looked after me more than anything but he was and still is basically my mums lap dog. Does and says whatever she wants. If she has an opinion he will always second it. He cannot speak for himself around her they are a force to be reckoned with. A few days ago I was going through my finances with my brother as I was excited to talk to him about me moving out and he said, and I quote, "just don't pop any kids out and you'll be good" and my mum nodded and smiled, like a knowing smile. As if she agreed completely with what he said. I tested the waters on April fools and sent him a picture of a scan that was a chicken, like a literal full cooked chicken and said "hope you're ready to be an uncle! 🥰❤️" and his exact reaction was "U wot". Both had a very negative reaction whilst when I sent to others they got really excited for a moment and then disappointed when they found out it was a chicken. The difference in reactions was startling to me and they've aired more opinions since on the matter, obviously still unaware that I am actually carrying.
I'm almost in my second trimester, I'm going to start showing soon and I want to announce my happy news, but will I be painted as the bad guy if I don't announce to my mum and brother? Do I really still have to put all the energy in and make a big song and dance to announce to them even though they are gonna be so negative about it? Will I be the asshole if I just make a post on Facebook and let them find out that way? For reference I have bought them all gifts shirts and hand carved glasses and what not to go with a scan picture to announce to them, but after the way they have acted and the things they have said not a single part of me wants to put all the energy in just to be given negativity and put in a bad mood or to have a fight/argument. How should I go about it??

So, I've been posting A LOT here over the last few months, virtually every day. Constantly panicking about every single physical symptom or manifestation that might resemble a symptom. Been to the hospital and primary health centre a total of 15 times in that same timespan. Never able to fully relax apart from sleep time.
But, over the last few days, I decided willfully, after my last hospital visit, which in a blood test it showed significantly elevated creatinine kinase and slightly elevated liver enzymes (that were attributed to intense physical strain in the gym in the days immediately prior to my hospital visit on Thursday) to significantly decrease my body monitoring, especially in terms of blood pressure, heart rate and oxygen saturation, and just rest and drink a lot of water per the doctors' advise in the hospital until the follow-up blood test I must do to see my CK and AST/ALT levels if they've lowered or not (which in almost all likelihood, they'll be normal, given the circumstances in which I did the blood test on Thursday vs. next Thursday).
Whenever I check, the 1-2 times I did, it was significantly better and normal. And I mentally and physically feel A LOT MORE RELAXED. Like, all of you guys here were right that checking everything less often or not at all makes you feel a lot better.
So, moral of the story, for me (because I'm sure that I'll snap back, lol, you never know) and for you as well: WE. MUST. STOP. OBSESSING. OVER. ANY. SINGLE. THING. IN. OUR. BODIES.
The human body isn't perfect. Heart rates are never stable. Blood pressure as well. Or even oxygen saturation. Or body temperature. They're constantly changing, because the body regulates its function.
Anxiety can interfere and fuck everything up to the point that it makes it seem like we have something, when in all cases almost, we have absolutely nothing, and if we do, it's most usually something that can be easily dealt with.
Sorry for the long post, but I hope I helped even one person in there lurking in this subreddit. It's tough, but we'll get through it. But it's not the end of the world. Thank God we're healthy and alive. That's what all of us should be grateful for.
I leave this here for the future me as well, to keep it as a reminder that everything's ok.