Investigator brochure on mental health

So I don't know if this is a narc thing or just a her thing, but my mother constantly watches fucked up videos on YouTube and other socials like TikTok and Facebook (max volume with her bedroom door wide open of course) and then talks about how awful and irredeemable the world has become and automatically assumes people have the worst intentions. The only way to escape it is to shut myself up in my room on the other side of the house, as I don't have the means to move out yet and probably won't for a while.
Her favorite thing is watching people getting arrested, while jeering and mocking the arrestee like she's watching her least favorite wrestler loose a match. The most memorable one was where the man getting arrested was screaming bloody murder for an ambulance because he felt like he was dying, I think he was overdosing. She of course thought he was faking and barely even paid attention to the video of someone screaming that they were dying for 20 minutes. Whether he was or not, I don't see how someone could stand to just listen to that, and I could hear it all across the house
I genuinely believe this stuff is depleting her already very short supply of empathy. I use very little social media (I know reddit isn't the best one to stick with, but it's seems easier for me to avoid that stuff if I just stick to the few subs I've joined and not use it very often) because I hate how algorithms force this shit on you and it's honestly done wonders for my mental health, but she's straight up addicted to it. I've tried explaining to her how algorithms work and to cut back on watching that crap but she literally ignores me. Sometimes it's cute animal or funny video compilations but those are a dime a dozen. She shares this stuff around with my grandmother and her friends too. I don't have any of the socials she does so she shares it with me by shoving her phone in my face and then getting huffy when I have the gall to tell her I don't want to see literal dead bodies (seriously) with no warning
Is anyone else's nparent like this? Is there anyway I can get her to stop?

I dont think it’s mentally healthy for a person to get be stuck working 5 days a week 8 hours a say with 2 more hours getting ready and commuting and dreading every minute of it. The employer controls when you get to eat, use the bathroom and even your health care. We have to do it for 40 plus years of our lives.
Even on the weekends you are too tired from work to do much and on Sunday night you get a horrible feeling on dread for work the next day. Some people even get happy that they get injured so they can get paid to stay home for a while which is absolutely insane.
We miss out on so much that life has to offer and so many hobbies and experiences but we all got used to the post WW2 work week that it’s become strange to people when you say you dont like it

Last November I went off work after my depression and anxiety got so bad I literally couldn’t leave my house. I started on sertraline and worked my way up to 125mg/day. The side effects from the sertraline were horrible at first. I couldn’t sleep at all. Painfully restless legs non stop, increased anxiety and hopelessness. Intrusive thoughts and feeling like different personalities were controlling me at different times. My doctor added buspirone to my meds and with that and time things started to get better. I started to pull out of my depression and was able to start doing things around the house again. Fast forward to April of this year I returned to work. My mental health started regressing almost immediately. My doctor increased my sertraline to 200mg/day along with the buspirone. That was about a month ago. Since then I’ve been on a steady decline. I can’t sleep again and my nights are consumed with sad, helpless, suicidal thoughts. A note to add I also lost about 125 pounds since November. I was about 320 and now I’m 195. This started out intentionally by extremely restricting my diet to under 1800 calories a day. And now I’m pretty sure I’ve inadvertently given myself an eating disorder as I can barely eat. And if I do I feel guilty. I’m reaching the end of my rope here and while my wife is aware of what’s going on, I feel like she doesn’t truly understand. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

I think I have some sort of mental health/ anxiety problem that I can't make sense of. When I'm at home I absolutely hate being perceived by anyone.
For a bit of context, I'm 24(f) and have had my own place since I was 19. At some point when I was 20 my dad had moved in with me bc him and his gf split up and he had nowhere to go. We didn't have the best relationship when I was a kid bc my family life was really complicated but now I'm an adult we get along really well and we both love each other so much. Out of all of my siblings I would say I'm the closest to him and relate the most too.
At the start I loved having him stay with me, he'd give a small bit of money to help with bills and only really stayed on weekends since his job required him to stay out during the week. But since February 2023 he lost his job and has now been at my place 24/7 and it's so draining. He stopped giving me money which I never really cared about but it's the fact that he doesn't help me do anything around the flat. He doesn't cook and he doesn't clean, I feel like I'm constantly tidying up after him. I have a small one bed flat and so he sleeps on my sofa in the living room which parts off into my kitchen. I found myself feeling like a prisoner in my own home. I'm an introverted person and so I spend most of my time enjoying being alone when I'm not in work, but it's gotten to the point where I will stay in my bedroom all day just to avoid seeing my dad. I have no problems with him whatsoever and there's never any tension between us.
I feel like I can't do anything when he's around simply because I don't like being percieved when I'm doing tasks. I feel like I can't clean my place, I can't make dinner and I can't even shower when hes here bc it somehow makes me uncomfortable. Although I'm perfectly happy to do these things if he's sleeping. It's so strange but I don't understand why I feel this way. There are times where I'll cook for the both of us for dinner but if I wanted a quick bite then I'd feel uncomfortable going to the kitchen to make something bc he'd be in my presence. It gets to the point where I won't even allow myself to get up and pee when I need to. I have to mentally force myself to do so. I know to most people this would seem so silly and there's literally nothing stopping me from doing the tasks that I want but for me there is. I know it's my own problem and nothing to do with my dad at all, he's super lovely to me. I don't have any fear or uncertainty towards him.
It's getting really exhausting and slowly starting to make me hate him being here. I feel like he's taken over my space and that's it's not actually my place but his. I start to feel resentment towards him being here when I can hear him getting a glass of water or going to the bathroom when I can't do these simple things. I hate that I spend all my time in my bedroom and feel like a can't use the other rooms in my place.
I know it's a really weird issue I have but does anyone have any advice or have ever felt anything similar?

this is basically a long rant, if someone takes the time to read all of this, I appreciate it.
I was verbally and physically abused by my parents when I was a kid. Mostly by my mom, since my dad wasn't home a lot. He was working on the other side of my country and only came home on the weekends (not every weekend but most). I don't remember much of my childhood, which is bc of the trauma I guess. But this is what stuck with me. My mom would always complain about how much of a difficult child I was, that she regrets having me and that she wants to put me in a foster home. She herself used to work at a foster home and would tell me horror stories about it to scare me. I also remember being slapped across the face by both of my parents and them forcing me to sit in my room and stare at the wall. I don't even remember what I did for them to constantly do this to me. my mental health was like shit, I first started having sucdal thoughts when I was 11 years old. I was also bullied at school. which caused my grades to go down. which then again caused my parents to get even more mad at me. I was constantly yelled at. When I told them that I'm depressed and want to k*** myself they didn't believe me and just brushed it off. I often ran away from home, crying, to my grandma's (my dad's mom) place which wasn't far away. my grandma was my safe space. She never hit me, she would listen to me and comfort me. I also have memories of her calling my parents and being upset with them. Like I said, I don't remember much, and it's all very vague. Which sometimes makes me think that maybe my mind is making all of this up. But it feels real. Has anyone experienced the same thing?
well my child and teen years were shit and my mental health only started to get better when I moved out of there at age 20. I'm 22 now, so I've been living alone for 2 years now. After I first moved out I wanted to break off contact with my mom, cuz even tho I wasn't living with her anymore and was making my own money she was still trying to belittle me and make me feel like sht. I told her I don't have to deal with her sht anymore since I'm not dependant on her anymore and I will cut her out of my life if she continues to treat me like sh*t. She did a full 180 after she realized that I was serious about this. I remember some years ago that I confronted her about everything horrible she ever said to me and how it made me feel. I remember my mom started crying and apologized. She too was abused by her parents and said she didn't realize she was doing the same to me. On this occasion she started to cry again and told me that she will try to change and be respectful.
well it's been two years since then and my mom has never disrespected me again. I go to visit my parents like once a month sometimes every two months and they are happy when I come by. It feels good but also feels weird. Nobody was happy to see me while I was still living there. My parents are now telling me how proud they are of me. They never said this to me when I was a kid. On one side i'm grateful that I now have supportive parents but on the other side it makes me feel like I'm crazy?? like my mind is really making stuff up. But all of this did happen, I know it.
I have abandonment issues because of my childhood. Because I always felt unwanted and was threatened with being given away to a foster home by someone who was supposed to be my safe space. I can't deal with stress anymore. When I'm being put under pressure it feels like I'm starting to get sick. I feel like I'm getting a heart attack when people around me start yelling and I hate it when people touch me. I get startled and go into defense mode when someone even just jokingly pretends that they're gonna hit me.
I'm angry at my mom a lot, still. I sometimes think about breaking off contact to my parents, but then I feel guilty bc they treat me so nicely now.
Still, when the word family comes to my mind I think of my grandma. She was the only one who always supported me. She told me that I'm like her own kid to her and that she will always be there for me when I need her. She passed away a month ago and I miss her a lot.

Social media has become an integral part of our lives, but its impact on mental health is a growing concern. How do platforms like Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook affect our self-esteem, anxiety levels, and overall well-being? Have you noticed any positive or negative changes in your mental health due to social media use? Let's discuss personal experiences, research findings, and strategies to maintain a healthy balance in the digital age.

I broke contact after 2mo. I made a mistake.
I was looking through my IG story viewers. Saw he viewed them. I was feeling low. I reached out.
He said he had re-downloaded IG when he was bored sitting around with the boys (he’s on deployment)
Me: why did you look at mine anyway?
Him: I don’t want to give you the wrong message. (Unfollows me right after)
Me: that was really mean.
Him: I don’t want to unintentionally encourage conversation again.
Me: I was reaching out to see how you were doing, you were stressed before leaving. I also wanted to attempt to have a mature conversation about closure. You just left based on how you were feeling and couldn’t explain why. We didn’t have much of a relationship, it felt like I was a movie projector screen.
Him: I agree that our relationship was not great. I am sorry that you felt marginalized. I was stressed about my feelings about our relationship contradicting with my sense of commitment to that same relationship. It seems clear to both of us that we are not a match.
With concerns to my mental health. It is none of your concern.
I don’t know what you want here dude. I’m not trying to rehash any part of our relashe. It seems like you are moving on and so am I.
I truly hope you find what you want from someone else.
Me:
Well, there were days you’d say it was your best yet and happiest you’ve been which is confusing. That things were natural and organic. There were some days it felt like you worshipped the ground I walked on, others the opposite. I wasnt acting on any of those things. I just took you for who you were. I wasn’t ever really sure what version of you I’d be getting each day, but you knew I’d be stable for you. And to be quite frank, this has all been consistent with your BPD.
I wouldn’t say marginalized so much as I didn’t feel like you knew me well. Often it seemed very extreme and intense and impulsive and it honestly sometimes frightened me. Like walking on eggshells. We’re all almost 30. I think, by now, we logically know it’s best not to act on feeling/impulse. That can be dangerous. Sometimes the healthiest relationships for us seem boring at times because they’re stable and consistent or unlike what we’re used to. Logic and feeling sometimes dont match.
You saying you wanted feel high in the sky like a rocketship…when I was trying to pull you down to earth sometimes. We didn’t have much foundation or even time to go off of anything “real” besides your fantasy/feeling that was based on…? and the reality was I was since I got here internally consumed by stress and grief from moving here and my dad being diagnosed with cancer but also could fit the mental space to enjoy time with you and explore you more. You never once asked how I was doing or tried to relate to what I was going through in any way. But only what you needed from me and I was always there.
I felt like you needed me as an emotional regulator… when another person’s purpose in a relationship isn’t supposed to be to make you feel a certain way 🤷‍♀️
I cared about you. And based on your past, I wanted you to know what it felt like to have something healthy and stable, someone there to rely on without question regardless of what. With good values. Without having to chase or yearn for something. And I hope you can find it within yourself to experience that one day, I really do :)
Him: I don’t want to talk to you anymore. This is enough.
Me: Being kind isn’t disengaging to make yourself more comfortable… being kind is taking accountability. None of this was mature or functional. It was traumatizing for me.
Him: Being kind also involves respecting other people’s boundaries
Me: How is having an uncomfortable conversation a violation of boundaries? You never respected mine. Do you know what it was like for me - listening to you pleading with me to be there on different days? That you thought you were a terrible person? Standing by your nicotine and alcohol compulsions? You asking me to hide these things from you? Talking about suicide? Put yourself in my shoes.
——
I realize I tried having a logical conversation with someone who is illogical, who acts on impulse. Who flees discomfort and runs to alcohol, smoking, anything maladaptive to self soothe.
How he went from the “good morning baby” to aloof, distant, alien is scary. I’m painted black.
I was a hurting idiot in that moment but it def won’t happen again.

Anyone knows how to get on paid mental health leave? I feel burned out and overwhelmed i heard people are getting this gig where they basically “work from home” for a few month. Dont want it to damage my career but could use some break. Thanks!

Hi everyone,
The last 7 weeks or so have been bad for my mental health. I've been catastrophizing the last few days, which makes things even worse. I hope this community can provide me with solutions.
TL;DR See "what I need help with" paragraph.
Our background: My friend (26M) and I (31M) have known each other for nearly 2 years and friends for nearly 1. I know that's not much time, but we've become really close. I've been there for him through many of his tough times, and he's done a lot to make me a better person. I see him as the brother I wish I had, and he described me as a role model and mentor. We've had ups-and-downs in our friendship, and in the past we talk it through and bounce back the next day.
The setback: Due to poor communication, he unknowingly did something that hurt me 7 weeks ago, and I made poor choices as a result that violated their boundaries on 2 separate occasions (6 weeks ago and 3 weeks ago). I apologized the day after both incidents. He knows how deeply sorry I am, and he told me to stop beating myself up over it when we met for lunch last week. He thinks I have made things worse by "overinflating the issue" (apologizing not just for my actions but for its potential implications/unintended consequences), but I am just so wracked with guilt.
The current situation: At lunch last week, he assured me he "want[s] to maintain this friendship" and that this is "just a bump in the road", that things will go back "all in good time", to "trust the process" and "go with the flow". We used to exchange a number of messages nearly everyday, but we haven't spoken much socially since my first mistake 6 weeks ago. My last "social" message from days ago remains unread (I replied to his reply to a meme I sent him), but he replied with kindness to a more "serious" message I sent him yesterday (different platforms). He has always been kind, though, so I don't want to read too much into it. However, I feel there is still some affection there on his end so not all is lost. I'd like to believe we both still see the good in each other and see a future as friends.
What I need help with (any of the below):

1. His actions make it seem like he needs space, but I've been missing him a lot. How do I deal with missing him and still giving him space? I don't know how much space to give and when to reach out again (they're not the type to initiate even when we're on good terms).
2. I'm having difficulty handling the uncertainty and believing him. I fear this friendship will never go back to the way things were. They say some friends are only meant to last for a season or to teach a lesson, but I don't want this friendship to become one of those.
3. I need hope - I want to hear stories of friends who had misunderstandings and somehow overcame the odds and went back to the way things were or became stronger than before.
4. I'm having difficulty forgiving myself even though he says I should let it go. I feel like I ruined our friendship. How do I practice more self-compassion?
5. Any other emotional support or words of hope/encouragement

Thank you.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THERE ARE ANY SCHOOLS THAT ARE MORE IN MY ACHIEVEMENT RANGE THAT I SHOULD LOOK INTO!! THANK U GUYS <333
Demographics: Gender, race/ethnicity, state, type of school, and hooks (URM, first generation, legacy, athlete, etc.)

• F/NB (idk if I should include this), Asian, mid-NJ, small-ish public school (competitive courseload-wise but not many people make it to top schools except Princeton/Cornell w/ legacy so idk)
• Hooks: Low-Income(? idk my parents have been unemployed for a few years)
• Intended Major(s): Chem Engineering, also open to stats/finance related stuff
• Extenuating Cirumstances: Had MAJOR health problem that put me in the hospital repeatedly, making me absent for 1/3rd of my sophomore year. I was then in/out of the hospital (for example I'd be out for half the day every day for months ) for the majority of it after, I ended up having to Pass/Fail APUSH and French that year and it (relatively) tanked my GPA (3 Bs 3 As) & my mental health was p. bad so I wasn't able to get any extracurriculars that year
• ACT/SAT/SAT II: SAT 1550 (770 RW 780 M)
• UW/W GPA and Rank: UW: like 3.7 last year but It's probably raised to 3.8/3.9ish this year W: 4.1 last year probably raised to 4.2-4ish this year? Our school doesn't do rank but I'm probably in the top 25% of my graduating class
• Coursework: AP/IB/Dual Enrollment classes, AP/IB scores, etc: AP Chinese (5), World (5), Seminar (4), Music Theory (3), APUSH, Physics 1, Chem, Calc AB, Research (scores didn't come out yet), Next year I'm taking AP Physics C (both), Stats, Psych, Bio
• Awards: PSVA Gold, AP Scholar w/ distinction, ABRSM Piano level 8

Extracurriculars:

• Volunteering: Around 350~ hours at a school as a TA/Fundraising coordinator, 40 hours as an art teacher, 92 hours at a fire department as a junior emt/firefighter (480ish hours total) (I think this is a rly strong EC)
• NHS (no leadership positions)
• Science Olympiad: Co-President (2 years), no distinct awards
• Card Games Club: President & Founder, just a hobby club we play poker lol
• Job: Translation and Social Media Manager, Product Coordinator, Shipment Manager -- US branch of International Cosmetics Company making ~700k/year in revenue (it's a startup obviously so this really isn't as cool as I'm making it out to be, but this is probably my strongest EC, I also help with writing reports and stuff for them sometimes)
• Job 2: Teacher at a summer camp
• Camp lol: I went to JHU CTY for 2 years (I probably shouldn't even include this? It's not important I think)

Essays/LORs/Other: Optionally, guess how strong these are and include any other relevant information or circumstances.

• LORs: I have no idea but I think I have okay connections w/ the teachers I'm asking from so hopefully 6/10 at least lol
• Essays: Also no idea but I think I'll have kind of unique topics? Writing about poker, volunteering w/ children, and maybe my extenuating circumstances during soph year & how it led me to gain a new outlook on enjoying life blah blah idk

Schools: List of colleges, ED/EA/RD, etc:

• Within my range (hopefully): Rutgers NB, Stony Brook, URochester, UMass Amherst, CU Boulder, GaTech (top choice that I might have a shot at), UC Berkeley/SB/I/SD
• Other: Princeton (REA), MIT, & Brown as just shotgunning atp. Pls help me figure out if I should even spend the money to try lol
• I'm going to try to apply EA if possible

Punk Rock is a type of music genre characterised by simple chords and aggressive sound, it started out with bands like Ramones, Sex Pistols, Buzzcocks, The Clash, Dead Kennedies in 1970s and eventually evolved to Pop Punk like Green day(their 90s albums like dookie, 21guns and boulevard of broken dreams is their emo phase), blink182, Sum41, The offsprings, Jimmy Eat World, etc
The main attraction of punk for me is their lyrics, they're just raw, rebellious, crazy, funny and relatable. Mostly the lyrics are not wanting to be in a rat race(Sum41 - Fatlip), talking about issues with society(Sex Pistols -God Save The queen), personal mental health fuck(Green Day - Basketcase), and sometimes just having fun (blink182- what's my age again)
Now the thing is yarr I really like this kind of music because of the sound and the lyrics, sometimes they are relatable yarr, but the problem is, no one makes music like this in local languages in India. And I feel music like this is really necessary in Mordern times, I feel in India a lot of teens and people feel the same sentiment about society, education system, jobs market shit and personal relationships. Also gen Z is also becoming like the most radicalised and close minded generation with social media politics, where people just take a side and hate on each other, without having an open mind about the other side, or any critical thinking to consider both.
So I was thinking if I started a band and tried to make punk music, write lyrics about these issues, release them and do shows, would it work in India?(One small issue, I got 0 experience with Music) It doesn't need to be really popular like mainstream, it just has to be popular enough to inspire other people to come and make music about the issues, and rebel against societal norms and doing your own thing.
I'm from Kolkata and there used to be an soft indie rock scene around with bands like Fossils, Cactus, Chandrabindoo. I hope maybe introducing punk rock band won't be that hard in Bengal, but would it work in the rest of India? Would people listen?

• Do Not message me just to ghost or block me! That behavior will NOT be TOLERATED!Think it through before you message me!! I don't want to get emotionally hurt again.*

If you're the type to be inpatient then don't bother messaging me! It's a waste of time if you do!
Greetings future partner ❤️ I'm still searching for you. I have to be honest and say that I am losing hope trying to find you.Please be somewhere. I want my search for a partner to be over. I'm seeking adventure in my life with someone I can call a forever partner. I'm tired of the loneliness and the sheltered lifestyle that I've lived. It would mean a lot of you could read through this post so that I could make sure we are compatible. Even if we start off as friends that would be fine.
Here's to new beginnings and new connections. PLEASE make sure you READ through the WHOLE POST also please be respectful when messaging me * *If you're the type to be impatient, block, or ghost easily, then save both of us the trouble and DO NOT message me! I'm not trying to come off as mean but I'd much rather you not message me if you're the type of person to do that. If something isn't working just let me know. We're all adults.
Greetings, I am seeking a long term relationship monogamous with the end goal being matrimony. I am not one for playing around and being used casually as it doesn’t suit me personally. Ideally I'd prefer a man that has his life already in place so that I can be able to share life with him and for him to take care of me. I would expect my future man to have a financially stable job and be able to support me and our future family. I wouldn’t be opposed to being a housewife. There are few reasons why I would like to work or work part time: 1) Being abandoned with nothing, 2) I want to feel fulfilled and not bored. Happy to discuss possible dynamics, I'm flexible. I would love a synergistic partnership where we are both able to mold our minds and fill our hearts with warm affection. I will be there to support you throughout your journey and celebrate every moment with you. I want you to be proud of you just as you are with me. I want to show you that you are truly cared for and appreciated by gestures of love such as massages and other forms of entertainment. I would expect the same from you as well. Even if we are both working adults we can still make our relationship work in the best way possible. I have seen this come out well for people who are dedicated and willing to make their relationships work. For a strong relationship to occur I would expect effective (transparent) communication from you. If you are going to be busy just be honest and let me know you won’t be able to talk to me.Also, if you need your space both mentally and physically let me know. I understand that we all have our lives to attend to but it is incredibly important for people in a relationship to be transparent when circumstances arise in a timely manner in order to avoid future conflict. If this relationship isn’t going to work I would expect you to tell me and not ghost or block me before giving me a reason why. We are all adults so I would expect nothing but maturity. Starting out I don’t want the pressure of sex to be pushed onto me. I’d rather let time tell in all of its glory.
Now onto my true introduction
My name is Angie and I'm from Georgia in the United States. I've been lonely for quite some time and find it hard to find a soulmate in IRL. What I'm looking for is someone who I can connect with and have wholesome conversations with. I want to be able to treat my future soulmate well just as much as they do me. The biggest part of a long lasting relationship is the ability to communicate openly without worry. I'd love it if my significant other has a dark sense of humor and continues to crack me up non-stop. As cheesy as it may sound I long for those late night calls and cute texts. I want for us to drive out the very best in each other; become our support system. A little bit about me is that I grew up in Florida and not too long ago moved to Georgia. I'm currently in college to become an RN but I'm also passionate about cosmetic chemistry and nutrition so I may seek to build my own business in the future. I'm passionate about science and theoretical applications especially within the medical field. I'd appreciate it if my partner is open minded about varying topics and welcomes healthy conversations. Appearance wise I'm open to seeing if we have a connection and feel as long as you are well groomed and practice basic hygiene you are good. Although, I must say that attraction is key in a relationship so I will have to go off on that as well. To add on, I enjoy playing video games, exercising (I've been slacking off lately), cooking and baking (vegan), playing board games, reading, exploring nature, playing sports (basketball and soccer) for fun, and trying new experiences. I love heavy metal and rock music, but also listen to other genres too. I love RPGs, FPS, and simulation games. I hope to save up and travel someday. It would be nice for my partner to be able to set up our travel itinerary.
My Physical Description:
I am a black woman who’s twenty five years old (almost 26 in December) with Afro-Carribean, Japanese and Swedish ancestry. I’d still consider myself black presenting since that’s more along the lines of what I appear as phenotypically. I have dark brown curly hair (Mainly 3c type curls) and brown eyes. I am 5 '4 on the thicker spectrum (not at all obese but thick boned and have thunder thighs). I am trying to exercise more to become fit. I used to weight lift when I was younger but since then have lost lean muscle mass. Having a partner that is willing to work out together sometimes is rather rewarding. A man who has drive and appeal is incredibly sexy. I would also like to point out that I am curvy and noticeable in certain aspects (I’ll leave it up to you to decide).
*You have to be MINIMUM 21 to date me *
If distance is an issue and you aren't willing to commit then DON'T MESSAGE ME!!
If you will be too busy to pursue a relationship then DO NOT contact me!! * *Again, No ghosters or blockers!! Seeking a person who seeks a relationship with God and/or is open to one MUST be free from venerial diseases (must be willing to get tested) Bonus points if you're vegan Ideally I would like someone that is taller than me (I’m 5’4) I prefer a man that is fit or trying to be. I'd prefer someone who is fiscally stable and able to support the both of us* A big red flag for me is smokers. It isn't good for your health nor is it sexy to me.* It's important for me to point out that I want children in the future and need someone who may want that as well. If you're interested in how I look and want to know more about me, message me. Although I don’t make it a huge deal, I do prefer White and East Asian men. But I do love all types of men and welcome them. As stated before I emphasize communication and would prefer you to be honest and say if something is wrong instead of ghosting or blocking without stating the reason. Fair warning if I can be socially awkward sometimes and don't know what to talk about so please be patient with me as I'm learning to be better conversation wise.

I’m not the most verse on the political issues (I’m learning, it just can be overwhelming and when asking questions, people kinda shame you when you’re asking to be informed) but with the latest email and what’s been happening over the last few months, where does that leave the Jewish students here? I can understand why the president wouldn’t want to alienate a portion of the student/staff/faculty population. I’m not Jewish myself but I guess I wonder for their mental health?

Hi all,
My wife gave birth to our beautiful daughter on Thursday last week… it was a tough delivery for her. She was induced on Tuesday when the baby was 38+5. Waters broke after approx 8 hours and we were transferred to another Labour ward at roughly 5pm on Wednesday afternoon. At this point she was given an epidural and was pumped full of oxytocin to help with the process… but by Thursday afternoon at roughly 2pm and after an hour trying to give birth naturally we were told she must got for a C section…. Baby was born but as soon as she was given to us the surgeon noticed a big tear in my wife’s uterus. She then had 2 hours emergency surgery to save it…. Thankfully the surgeon did a good job and she was in recovery by 7pm Thursday evening…
It’s not almost 7pm Sunday and we’re still in hospital… my wife being monitored for infections etc, bloods indicate she is still fighting a possible infection.
Our baby girl has been through the mill, she was 3.08kg birth weight. Since then she also been on antibiotics, she has now developed jaundice and is currently on a blue light mat… the jaundice levels were literally just slightly above the guideline.
It’s been so hard to watch her have endless blood tests and a canula in her tiny hand…
As it currently stands we’re awaiting a further blood test this evening to see after levels have dropped after several hours on the mat. We are also waiting for her to have a scan of her kidney as it has always shown up as being slightly dilated on scans prior to being born… as it’s the weekend the earliest we can get the scan is Tuesday…
I feel mentally drained as I’m trying to support my wife who is struggling with breastfeeding, recovering from intense surgery and her mental Health is taking a battering. It’s not helped with the amount of drugs she’s hand since coming into this hospital… I’m also dealing ith all the medial bits going on with our girl and praying things go well for her so we can take her home and enjoy bonding and starting our family.
I’m not really sure why I’ve posted this, I kinda just needed to vent as I’m soooo tired from 6 days sleeping in a hospital chair supporting my Wife and helpless little girl…
Thanks for reading x

Currently filling out my housing application form. Tried to avoid it but the situation at my parents' house is terrible for my mental health and I can't afford to rent on my current salary.
Form has a field for a Local Authority Reference Number. I've been on Google and all over the citizens information and DCC websites but can't find any mention of it.
Do they give you the reference before you hand the form in, or will they issue one when the application is received?

Do Not message or add me just to unfriend me or ghost me. That will not be tolerated so DON'T WASTE MY TIME Greetings future partner ❤️ I'm still searching for you. I have to be honest and say that I am losing hope trying to find you.Please be somewhere. I want my search for a partner to be over. I'm seeking adventure in my life with someone I can call a forever partner. I'm tired of the loneliness and the sheltered lifestyle that I've lived. It would mean a lot of you could read through this post so that I could make sure we are compatible. Even if we start off as friends that would be fine.
Here's to new beginnings and new connections. PLEASE make sure you READ through the WHOLE POST also please be respectful when messaging me * *If you're the type to be impatient, block, or ghost easily, then save both of us the trouble and DO NOT message me! I'm not trying to come off as mean but I'd much rather you not message me if you're the type of person to do that. If something isn't working just let me know. We're all adults.
Greetings, I am seeking a long term relationship monogamous with the end goal being matrimony. I am not one for playing around and being used casually as it doesn’t suit me personally. Ideally I'd prefer a man that has his life already in place so that I can be able to share life with him and for him to take care of me. I would expect my future man to have a financially stable job and be able to support me and our future family. I wouldn’t be opposed to being a housewife. There are few reasons why I would like to work or work part time: 1) Being abandoned with nothing, 2) I want to feel fulfilled and not bored. Happy to discuss possible dynamics, I'm flexible. I would love a synergistic partnership where we are both able to mold our minds and fill our hearts with warm affection. I will be there to support you throughout your journey and celebrate every moment with you. I want you to be proud of you just as you are with me. I want to show you that you are truly cared for and appreciated by gestures of love such as massages and other forms of entertainment. I would expect the same from you as well. Even if we are both working adults we can still make our relationship work in the best way possible. I have seen this come out well for people who are dedicated and willing to make their relationships work. For a strong relationship to occur I would expect effective (transparent) communication from you. If you are going to be busy just be honest and let me know you won’t be able to talk to me.Also, if you need your space both mentally and physically let me know. I understand that we all have our lives to attend to but it is incredibly important for people in a relationship to be transparent when circumstances arise in a timely manner in order to avoid future conflict. If this relationship isn’t going to work I would expect you to tell me and not ghost or block me before giving me a reason why. We are all adults so I would expect nothing but maturity. Starting out I don’t want the pressure of sex to be pushed onto me. I’d rather let time tell in all of its glory.
Now onto my true introduction
My name is Angie and I'm from Georgia in the United States. I've been lonely for quite some time and find it hard to find a soulmate in IRL. What I'm looking for is someone who I can connect with and have wholesome conversations with. I want to be able to treat my future soulmate well just as much as they do me. The biggest part of a long lasting relationship is the ability to communicate openly without worry. I'd love it if my significant other has a dark sense of humor and continues to crack me up non-stop. As cheesy as it may sound I long for those late night calls and cute texts. I want for us to drive out the very best in each other; become our support system. A little bit about me is that I grew up in Florida and not too long ago moved to Georgia. I'm currently in college to become an RN but I'm also passionate about cosmetic chemistry and nutrition so I may seek to build my own business in the future. I'm passionate about science and theoretical applications especially within the medical field. I'd appreciate it if my partner is open minded about varying topics and welcomes healthy conversations. Appearance wise I'm open to seeing if we have a connection and feel as long as you are well groomed and practice basic hygiene you are good. Although, I must say that attraction is key in a relationship so I will have to go off on that as well. To add on, I enjoy playing video games, exercising (I've been slacking off lately), cooking and baking (vegan), playing board games, reading, exploring nature, playing sports (basketball and soccer) for fun, and trying new experiences. I hope to save up and travel someday. It would be nice for my partner to be able to set up our travel itinerary.
My Physical Description:
I am a black woman who’s twenty five years old (almost 26 in December) with Afro-Carribean, Japanese and Swedish ancestry. I’d still consider myself black presenting since that’s more along the lines of what I appear as phenotypically. I have dark brown curly hair (Mainly 3c type curls) and brown eyes. I am 5 '4 on the thicker spectrum (not at all obese but thick boned and have thunder thighs). I am trying to exercise more to become fit. I used to weight lift when I was younger but since then have lost lean muscle mass. Having a partner that is willing to work out together sometimes is rather rewarding. A man who has drive and appeal is incredibly sexy. I would also like to point out that I am curvy and noticeable in certain aspects (I’ll leave it up to you to decide).
*You have to be MINIMUM 21 to date me *
If distance will be a problem and you aren't willing to make it work then DON'T MESSAGE ME!!
If you will be too busy to pursue a relationship then DO NOT contact me!! * *Again, No ghosters or blockers!! Seeking a person who seeks a relationship with God and/or is open to one Must be free from venerial diseases and must be willing to get tested(will discuss) Bonus points if you're vegan Ideally I would like someone that is taller than me (I’m 5’4) I prefer a man that is fit or trying to be. I'd prefer someone who is fiscally stable and able to support the both of us* A big red flag for me is smokers. It isn't good for your health nor is it sexy to me.* It's important for me to point out that I want children in the future and need someone who may want that as well. If you're interested in how I look and want to know more about me, message me. Although I don’t make it a huge deal, I do prefer White and East Asian men. But I do love all types of men and welcome them. As stated before I emphasize communication and would prefer you to be honest and say if something is wrong instead of ghosting or blocking without stating the reason. Fair warning if I can be socially awkward sometimes and don't know what to talk about so please be patient with me as I'm learning to be better conversation wise

So to start, both my parents have/had incurable illnesses with mum having parkinsons since 2018 and dad had motor neurone disorder. Over the years I had times in which I believed that the parkinsons would take my mum as there were times in which things were so bad that she could barely even function or move. I met my girlfriend in September of 2022, and things were already kinda bad from work causing stress, watching dad's illness making him worse and worse and mum's illness having spikes of her seeming like she'd be taken too. I loved every second spent with my girlfriend and we spent near enough every second of our lives together (although it was long distance), during Christmas time of 2022 though mum's illness was worse than it had ever been and we were in and out of hospital with her threatening suicide just so she wouldn't be "burdening us" anymore. During this time I'll admit, I wasn't very good at communicating with my partner about all of it and the stress of it all was really making me struggle. Then on March 2nd 2023, dad's illness took him and I've struggled really badly ever since despite constant calls with doctors, mental health teams and meds to try helping. My girlfriend, while supportive for the most part, would seemingly look down on me and treat me like a waste because I was a having a hard time recovering from the loss (I've never lost a family member this close to me before, or been old enough to actually feel the impact), and it just felt like she treated every second with me as a burden as well as constantly fighting because she seemingly wanted me to instantly get better with the snap of my fingers but I just couldn't do that... things took a worse turn too within the relationship but I don't feel too comfortable sharing them. I did and still do honestly love her with everything in me, and I poured in all of my heart and soul into the relationship being more open to her than anybody else in my life (including family), but it just hurts that I constantly feel like a bother and burden to her because of my own struggles...

CW: threats of suicide
My (31f) and my husband (32m) have been married for seven years.
We have always had issues, but whenever I brought them up, he would say the right thing and I believed him. He had previous trauma from a failed engagement, so I thought I was being selfless and kind and understanding to a man I loved.
When we got married, though, nothing changed. We have had a dead bedroom since day one. He wasn't romantic, we didn't talk beyond discussing our days, he thought sending me 100+ tiktoks and making me watch them all at once with him was a symptom a healthy relationship. I continued to be vocal about what I needed, even sobbing and begging him to give me something, anything. He would always agree, but he hated having practical plans. We would set reminders in our phones to initiate intimacy, and he would swipe them away in favor of playing video games. He would agree to help me with the household management, and then never once followed through on his promises.
He refused to take his mental health seriously until I suggested he go to therapy. When he told me he was thinking about stopping therapy because things improved, I asked him to go to couples counseling. He refused, he wanted to stay in his individual therapy and we couldn't afford both
It all came to a head when I realized I was standing in the room with him working on something I had asked for help with, and he didn't even look up at me once for the 4-5 hours I was there.
I stopped telling him I loved him after that. Part of me wanted to see if he would come to me if I stopped coming to him. It took him two months to notice, and he told me "I need you to tell me you love me," instead of inquiring what was happening. We had so many conversations. So many failed tries. So many promises broken.
I told him it was the end, real change needed to happen or I was going to walk away.
He then revealed he was suicidal, something he had never once given me an inkling of before. He promised it wasn't to manipulate me. I believed him. I tried to talk about ideas for him to do to keep moving forward, I encouraged him to talk to his therapist. And then something possessed me... I asked why he had a habit of locking the bathroom door when it's just the two us, and if it was because he was watching porn.
He told me it was.
I had begged for some interaction in the bedroom for our whole marriage. I bought us toys, I communicated, I begged for communication in turn. Everytime I got, "you're perfect. I am having fun. I don't want anything else" despite us being intimate maybe 2-4 times a year. Only to realize he was watching porn almost nightly to get off. The lack of communication, the lies... it all hurt. And, in these specific circumstances, I consider it a form of infidelity.
I didn't think I could forgive him in that moment, but I tried to move past it for our sake.
But I couldn't. He started sleeping on the couch. I quickly moved into the guest bedroom. He tried to connect, only for me to realize he didn't know much about me as a person at all.
After a few weeks, I realized I couldn't go on. I had given so much and it felt like it was a completely one sided relationship.
I told him I was done... and the begged for another chance. That was 6 months ago. About a month ago, we had another conversation about our relationship, and he told me repeatedly he would commit suicide if I left him. I told him to give me his gun, and he finally agreed after I made it clear I wasn't messing around. He refuses to talk to his therapist about it because he has a delusion he will end up on a government list.
I had a doctors appointment that week to learn if a tumor had developed into cancer, so I was on edge and just trying to get to that appointment. After the appointment, I broke down. It all hit me so hard.
Since then, I have been out of the house dog sitting for family and friends. I got back late last night, but I have been hard at work trying to figure out next steps. I have a new job and a place to live, but I have to start moving in this week. I told my dad last night (my mom knew weeks ago, but she wouldn't tell my dad) and he blew up at me. I think he views this as his own failure... he is convinced my husband loves me and is trying everything.
Now, I am just waiting for my stbx to come home so we can have the conversation. I have a friend who will be here on standby to make sure he doesn't hurt me or himself.
I am terrified.

It's been a while since I've popped over here, but I thought I would come back and share my experience. Please keep in mind that every journey is different. I have no intentions of presenting ours as the perfect outcome (I don't think there is such a thing) or that our timeline is even remotely common. From everything I've seen, and know, it's not.
However... Towards the end of last year, I thought I was done. I moved in with my parents. I got a job there. I made plans to go to school, and finally pursue my love of psychology...
And yet.
There was always that but, lingering somewhere.
DW and I stayed in touch. I wanted to keep in touch with my step-kids, above all else, and also DW and I weren't on bad terms. She drove me to my parent's, 8 hours, and it was a wonderful time together. Neither one of us wanted to say goodbye. I had to force myself to stay, and not just go home with her.
Hindsight 20/20, I wish that I hadn't left, but also I'm glad I did.
The distance gave us both time, and space, and the chance to reflect. Reflect on our own actions, our relationship... And we talked. A lot. I realized that I had been weaponizing her infidelity without even realizing it, and hurting her in the process. She began to understand the ways that she had been making recovery harder for me. She got the professional help she needed, too, during this time. She went from 50/50 custody to seeing her kids about once or twice a month, for an afternoon, so that she could 100% focus on her mental health and out-patient.
I got accepted into school (online), I started working with a talk therapist and my trauma therapist.
She came up for a visit. It was equal parts disastrous and wonderful. We wanted to work on our relationship, but we were also butting heads over conflicting needs.
I ended up moving back, into my own apartment, where I lived by myself for about a month or so.
I ended up moving back in with her shortly after the new year.
The first few months were still a little rocky, while we both had some very candid conversations about our conflicting needs. We found common ground, and compromise, that truly worked for both of us.
Fast forward to now, and it's only been around 1.5 years since dday, but it feels like it's been over a decade. Every now and again, I remember what happened, or she does, and we let each other know. We both express our regrets over things, remorse, and desire to work on ourselves, and connect over how proud we are of how far we've come and how happy we are now.
We both look back at the months following dday, and realize that neither one of us was ready to R. Well, we were ready in that we wanted to, but we both had a lot of individual emotions to work through, to be able to hold the space for each other to be successful. I realize now that giving in to the nagging feelings and digging through information online, talking to people who had experienced infidelity so much, reading stories, etc., just kept me in a space that was unhealthy. She was too worried about losing me, to be able to face her addiction recovery with the transparency needed.
But... well and truly, my marriage is the most blissfully wonderful thing in the world these days. The levels of communication, honesty, and intimacy of all sorts (emotional, intellectual, physical, etc.) is... amazing. I don't think it's because we were able to reconcile from cheating or that it "made us stronger." I think it's because once we were able to remove the cheating from our relationship, it opened the door to finding what was always possible all along.
I'm in school full-time, I work full-time, we have the kids 50/50 again and we fucking LOVE each other... Oldest just about worships the ground I walk on, the middle thinks I'm the bees knees because we both have ADHD, and the youngest lives in his own world 99% of the time anyways, lol.
I was talking to the oldest the other day about nightmares and bad dreams. I told them that I'd had a bad dream because in it DW and I were fighting, and had been yelling at each other... This kid busts out laughing their ass off, because the thought of us yelling was so utterly absurd.
We have conflict. But it's soft, loving, solution-oriented and always focused on making sure that we both walk away feeling heard and satisfied with the resolution...
And none of it is related to her cheating.
I've come to fall in love with her all over again. I'm quite content to leave the past in the past, and there is no residual pain, resentment, etc. Just an understanding that it happened, if I think about it too much it makes me sad, and then I remember the kick-ass relationship we have now...
And nothing else matters anymore.
​
Anyways. Long and rambly, but considering how much I used to post here, I thought it might be worth coming back and journaling some of my thoughts and our journey. I have no fear of her cheating again. I have no insecurities over her friendships, or her sexual life (masturbation, porn usage, etc.)...
I just love her.
Fucking adore her, honestly...
And I think I'm the damn luckiest person alive, to be able to married to her. <3

The last 7 weeks or so have been bad for my mental health. I've been catastrophizing the last few days, which makes things even worse. I hope this community can provide me with solutions.
TL;DR See "what I need help with" paragraph.
Our background: My friend (26M) and I (31M) have known each other for nearly 2 years and friends for nearly 1. I know that's not much time, but we've become really close. I've been there for him through many of his tough times, and he's done a lot to make me a better person. I see him as the brother I wish I had, and he described me as a role model and mentor. We've had ups-and-downs in our friendship, and in the past we talk it through and bounce back the next day.
The setback: Due to poor communication, he unknowingly did something that hurt me 7 weeks ago, and I made poor choices as a result that violated their boundaries on 2 separate occasions (6 weeks ago and 3 weeks ago). I apologized the day after both incidents. He knows how deeply sorry I am, and he told me to stop beating myself up over it when we met for lunch last week. He thinks I have made things worse by "overinflating the issue" (apologizing not just for my actions but for its potential implications/unintended consequences), but I am just so wracked with guilt.
The current situation: At lunch last week, he assured me he "want[s] to maintain this friendship" and that this is "just a bump in the road", that things will go back "all in good time", to "trust the process" and "go with the flow". We used to exchange a number of messages nearly everyday, but we haven't spoken much socially since my first mistake 6 weeks ago. My last "social" message from days ago remains unread (I replied to his reply to a meme I sent him), but he replied with kindness to a more "serious" message I sent him yesterday (different platforms). He has always been kind, though, so I don't want to read too much into it. However, I feel there is still some affection there on his end so not all is lost. I'd like to believe we both still see the good in each other and see a future as friends.
What I need help with (any of the below):

1. His actions make it seem like he needs space, but I've been missing him a lot. How do I deal with missing him and still giving him space? I don't know how much space to give and when to reach out again (they're not the type to initiate even when we're on good terms).
2. I'm having difficulty handling the uncertainty and believing him. I fear this friendship will never go back to the way things were. They say some friends are only meant to last for a season or to teach a lesson, but I don't want this friendship to become one of those.
3. I need hope - I want to hear stories of friends who had misunderstandings and somehow overcame the odds and went back to the way things were or became stronger than before.
4. I'm having difficulty forgiving myself even though he says I should let it go. I feel like I ruined our friendship. How do I practice more self-compassion?
5. Any other emotional support or words of hope/encouragement

Thank you.

"Self-care isn't selfish; it's essential."
It's time to challenge outdated stereotypes and embrace a culture where vulnerability is valued and mental health is given the same importance as physical health. Together, let's start the conversation, offer support, and create a community where every man feels seen, heard, and supported on their journey to well-being.

[Trigger warning: Gaslighting, emotional abuse, neglect, and more?...]
Summary: My parents won't let me and my siblings get help because we're they're kids and there can never be anything wrong with anything related to them. Womp womp.
Note: There might be letters and words missing, or weird sentences that make no sense because I'm built different RAHHH 🦅🦅🦅.
Today I woke up hoping I could study for the final I have in 3 days but I couldn't do a thing. A lot has happened lately and I can't seem to get over anything or even just ignore or avoid my problems which I used to do so well. It all started with one of my worst ever depression episodes where I cried so hard I popped eye vessels. I had red freckles all under my eyes lol. I usually don't cry, I used to cry 5 times a year, then it became like once a month when my hormones make it impossible to hold back tears. Now I cry every 2 days or so, which is MAD weird.
Context: I might have hereditary adhd, autisim, and depression. Which they luckily exist on both sides of my family 😍. My siblings are diagnosed bc they left the house except us aka everyone who hasn't left. I have problems focusing and procrastinate almost everything that it's hard to live (literally not shower for WEEKS or change/wash clothes). Not to mention my sensory issues. I am very sensitive to light + colors, sound, and texture of food and objects.
I only ate white rice and plain chicken soup with just the liquid and the chicken which was a very difficult task because I was picky about the color of the flesh of the chicken, for the first 13 years of my life. I hate all veggies but cucumbers and carrots. Any other food I eat with sad textures makes me have extreme meltdowns where I would scream, cry, and throw up. I then had entire trauma with food because of my mother and aunties.
Strong colors (anything out the black and white range) make me breakdown breakdance after a while.
Oh and don't get me started on noise, multiple times cried at school because they opened loud music or talked loudly that my teachers let me leave the class when they know they're going to raise their voices. I live alone in a room away from people bc humans drain the hell out of me and it's hard to do communicashit. I am also very bad at story telling and speaking about my feelings irl, this is the best I could do after so much practice and rereading this essay of a vent.
Worst feeling is feeling nasty which triggers the sensory issues but you can't force yourself out of bed to wash your laundry so you can even shower. Did I mention showers being loud asf?
Anyways now that you have an idea about my day to day struggles, I introduce to you the nail to the coffin. El mama and papa 😍. My dad doesn't allow us to visit friends, go on trips, or even participates in raising me and my siblings. He just bans shit and gaslights. He doesn't believe in mental health or disorders unless the sickness is physical. My school counselor once called him and told him about how I got groomed online and when we met at home he said "Why would you do such a thing? Are you stupid?." Idk sir? I was 11.
I went to him 2 weeks ago after I cried and popped my eye vessels and looked half dead. I talked to him and told him I needed therapy because I literally lost my will to live and can't live like this anymore. He laughed at me and told me I don't deserve to feel that way then said "Sure lets go and make sure you have nothing." Then he ranted about his trauma and how he DOESN'T need help.
We made an appointment and we went together, we saw the neurologist first which he said "I don't know why she's acting stressed, maybe it's because she's a middle sibling LOL. We haven't given her much attention throughout her childhood.", he also talked way nicer than usual. Yes what he said before is considered very nice of him compared to everything he's done. He kept gaslighting me before the appointment and everything was new to me so I lowkey was shutting down and physically couldn't interfere or speak as much as I should because I am not allowed to express my feelings freely around him so the best I could do was shake non-stop instead of cry.
He talked like he knew everything about me. He's almost never at home he wouldn't know shit. Everything I do he said I don't and vice versa. The neurologist diagnosed me with anxiety, prescribed anxiety medication, and referred me to a psychiatrist.
He talked so nicely to me after the appointment (at the time I thought he was acting decent because him allowing me to go was itself a miracle so I really felt safe) He told me to take things slow and not stress about school etc. In my head I was like "WOW HE BELIEVES IN STRESS??!!!!!?????!!?!?!!?!?! O:" I kind of forgot everything bad he did. "Why did I ever hate this man, he's literally so amazing"
The moment we stepped foot into the house he looked at me and said "Why are you even so stressed? You're just faking shit." Which I was already afraid of. Ofc the psych appointment was before my best friend's birthday party (who's leaving the school btw so I am not seeing her again) which HE ALLOWED ME TO GO FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. SO I had to choose between them. Mind you I only have 2 friends that can handle me, both are leaving the school 🥰. THEN before I even had the chance to choose he cancelled the appointment..
He only allowed me to go because he was going to be there to control the situation and possibly shut down any future requests about therapy and everything near it.
"Am I really just suffering to grab attention and I actually have nothing? Am I faking the autisim and adhd? Was I even ever depressed?" I still feel this tbh. I don't want to live. I am just waiting for the sweet release of death LMAO.
Everyday I wake up and the lights are too bright, everything is too loud, I can't eat because the foods that don't give me sensory issues aren't available. I am failing my favorite subjects even though I try my best and I "have so much potential and is a gifted child". Everything hurts. I am not even allowed to cry and if I do they'll ask me and make me feel safe till they know why then they'll shout at me and tell me I don't deserve to cry. I hold so much in only for it to turn physical and send me multiple times to the ER in severe pain, ONLY TO BE TOLD I HAVE NOTHING.
Btw after all that my mom told me that I shouldn't have gone to the neurologist and that I have nothing because I am her child, and there's never anything wrong with her kids because we are hers?
When my siblings and I complain of our day to day issues they do "US TOO BUT YOU DON'T SEE US WHINING BECAUSE ITS COMPLETELY NORMAL" Sure as hell normal and they are definitely 100% neurotypicals and 100% not narcissists.
Everything I say they turn it about them. I hate how they make me feel so safe and loved for a few seconds so they can know what's happening only to run me over with a school bus afterwards. I hate the unrelated long assed rants that make no sense. They are definitely dying old and alone in an elderly home group.
I feel like a humongous mess and I just don't know what to do. I kind of just don't want to be here anymore but I am existing. No one wants to die, they just want the pain to stop.