My husband and I were high school sweethearts and got married very young (I was 19), but more on that later.
For now, backstory: we both come from rather toxic families and are both black sheep. The difference being I realized early on and my husband, being very sweet and naïve at times, didn’t realize his until I started pointing it out. My intentions were never to alienate his family, however, I’ve never liked the way they treated him. Especially his mother’s side.
One of the biggest examples that comes to mind was how he worked over the summer for his Aunt one year before we even met, and instead of giving the money to him, the money was given to his mom‘s parents who kept it in an account “for him“ that he couldn’t access. Later, they bought him a car with it, but put it in their name. When I found out, I immediately pointed out that that was kind of messed up, it’s nice that he got a car, but that money should’ve been given to him and at the very least the car should have been in his name. But as he usually does, he chose to see the bright side of things, so for the most part he was just happy that he had a car. Fast-forward a year or two, and he was driving up most weekends to visit me in college when he wasn’t working (about 1 1/2 hours each way, so not very far by Texas standards), when his grandparents decided that they didn’t like that and they tried to stop him, but that argument didn’t last very long and they relented. It wasn’t until they started telling him that he couldn’t visit his dad using the car that things really got dicey.
And it’s not like his dad lived very far, he lived in the same neighborhood as his mom, and in the same neighborhood that we had grown up in. And this time they would not relent, they absolutely despise his father. The divorce was messy and even though neither is completely blameless, she definitely had the worst offenses. Just trust me on that. Since then, it’s like she never learned how to be an adult and has been a perpetual 16-year-old, always complaining about everything and with her parents always holding the purse strings (though you could argue it’s always been that way, her parents paid for her schooling to be a dance major and she never did anything with that, they defended her bad decisions during the divorce, paid the mortgage on her large house afterwards, and even now after expressing how much she doesn’t enjoy being around her parents, she refuses to leave and still lives with a family member).
Anyways, after his grandparents threatened to take away the car (which he used for work as a pizza delivery man and obviously his mom didn’t stand up for him) if he tried to visit his dad, he let his dad know and I helped him move out of his mom‘s house that night while she was at work. It made him terribly unhappy at first, especially to leave his younger siblings behind, but he knew what they were doing was wrong, and he was over 18 and thats simply a line you don’t cross. His dad baught him a car to use.
It should be noted that he likely would not have said anything to his father or moved out if I hadn’t pushed him to, and that’s probably why a good portion of his family aren’t really big fans of mine. Even several years after we were married and possibly even to this day, they think I make all of the decisions in our relationship and force him to do what makes me happy even if he doesn’t want to, which of course is not the case, we discuss and agree on every major decision. When I was pregnant with our son, our first child, we were at his dad‘s mom‘s house and I was often sitting and asking him to get things for me and the like and he ended up going to get food with one of his sisters and she literally told him that she didn’t like how I was constantly asking him to do things and I wasn’t doing anything for myself. The pregnancy was very hard on me, I LOST 11 lbs and had to work the whole time and had no paid leave, so yes I tried to relax as much as I could. These are just a few examples of their behavior, his mother and her parents are also often emotionally and psychologically manipulative and abusive, comparing him to his cousins which they often consider “more successful“ especially since he decided he didn’t want to be a doctor and wanted to work in a lab instead, and anytime he tries to argue back with his mom she does the whole “I guess I’m just a horrible mom“ thing. Something I am very well familiar with in my own life. Needless to say, I am not the biggest fan of his family.
I did one year of my university before I decided it wasn’t the right path for me and about that time he was about finished with community college and was looking to go to university next. He ended up getting excepted into the university that I had gone to, but didn’t really want to move into the dorms as someone who was older than most freshman, but also couldn’t afford an apartment on his own. So we decided that we would get married and move up there together, we were already engaged as he proposed to me on my 18th birthday. It was the perfect set up as being under the same roof as my mother again really sucked.
I don’t quite remember why we decided to get married three months from that point, it was kind of stressful. But during that time him and his mother had another huge falling out, of course with her parents being on her side, and the deal with the car was still fresh in everyone’s minds. After that I didn’t want her at the wedding, or her parents, and while it did upset him a bit(notice a trend? He is very sweet and has a tender heart and is a recovering people-pleaser) he agreed that it would just be unnecessary drama.
It was a very small wedding as my parents gave me $2000 and I used half of that on a weekend honeymoon and the other half to cover the cupcakes and the photographer (who was an old friend of ours from high school). My youth pastor who at this point also knew my (soon to be) husband was the officiant and graciously let us use the foyer the youth building free of charge for the ceremony. This was a small neighborhood church so the room wasn’t very big but we weren’t inviting a ton of people so we were fine with it, especially since it was mostly windows and it was pretty nice especially since we didn’t have to pay for it. We ended up inviting both sets of my parents, my sister and her small family, and my little sister and my mom‘s parents. (note the parents, siblings, and my closest grandparents) In the end, after his mother begged, we did end up letting her come, and then of course his father came and his siblings and his father‘s mom. (Note the parents, siblings, and his closest grandparent). Our closest friends were there which was 6 people, and then my small group from church had spent the night decorating the foyer for the ceremony so of course they were invited too. The numbers were slightly skewed in my favor as both of my parents have remarried, my sister was married with 2 kids, and both of my grandparents were still alive at the time. So yes, technicality he had less people there, but he told me that he didn’t mind after I pointed this out to him back when we were talking about who to invite. And his family really didn’t like this. We both have large families. Only mine was scattered to the four winds and his lived exclusively in Texas. If his mom‘s parents hadn’t been treating him like dirt I happily would’ve invited them too, and seeing as I didn’t even invite my step sisters who had been in my life since I was two, I didn’t think it would be appropriate to invite his cousins, especially since the room was plenty full as it was. Again, he understood and was OK with all of this.
In the end, it was very sweet and small and the reception just took place at one of our favorite restaurants.
To this day, he still catches flack for more of his family not being invited, especially is mom’s parents, and we are always told by third parties about things his family say about us and especially me. (one of them even called me a gold digger, even though at the time was working at Domino’s. His mom told us she was the only one who “stood up for me” in that moment, but the best response she could come up with was “my son doesn’t have money“).
I have no qualms about what we did. We have since moved halfway across the country, recently celebrated our 8 year anniversary, and are very happy. The things they say still weigh on us though, so I was hoping to prove a point with this post.
So, are we the assholes for not inviting most of my husband’s family to the wedding?

Over the course of my 4 year marriage to my partner, I have arrived at the position that I was abused, manipulated, and functionally enslaved to a mentally ill partner.
In simplest form, the progression is apparently observable. She was diagnosed with cancer in October of 2019 while we were engaged. Due to the diagnosis, we moved up our actual marriage date (our wedding was still set for mid-April) to December 1, 2019. Her surgery was December 13, 2019. In my compassion for her, I agreed to move our wedding date up to offset her anxiety around who would be responsible for her if things went south with her surgical treatment.
Our first month of marriage was straightforward; she was on pain meds recovering from surgery, so the main engagement that occurred was me walking her up and down the hospital hallway as she recovered and trying to meet her base physical needs of hygiene, food, and presence. We stayed in the hospital for 2-3 weeks (with recurring hospital visits for complications).
Quickly after we figured out our marital living situation in her small 3-bed apartment with 2 roommates, our relationship devolved. Specifically, she was irritable because of the pain she was in, causing her to lash out at me with regular frequency for small things. If I didn’t put clothes away in the right place, didn’t anticipate her needs (without her communicating them), or ate the wrong food in front of her she would shout at me and decry me for my thoughtlessness.
These small, critical engagements were wounding and created a distance between us – and there was no upside. She was never kind, never paid mind to needs I might have, and started down a path of cultivating a root of bitterness in her soul. She quickly revealed herself to be venomous, hateful, and vindictive when she felt like she was wronged — and any observation of concern about our marriage resulted me in being accused of being mean or insensitive, even if I spent hours or days calculating the best way to share my concern (and I have a master’s degree in communication where I focused in studying disagreement — I know how to carefully package concerns).
During this time, I worked hard to provide for us, foreseeing a significant time period where I would have to be primary financial provider and caregiver. I increased my income each year we were married by around 25%, finishing our marriage at >$80,000 in yearly income, compared to starting our marriage at a modest $42,000 salary (including dramatically improving our healthcare). Frankly, I increased my income to provide for us in spite of the lack of support at home.
But to be clear: I don’t think it would have been particularly difficult to provide financially if I had an ounce of support at home.
However, the relentless criticism and expectation of mind-reading continued through the years. I rationalized this abuse for the first year of our marriage because of all the excuses to be cruel, she had a good one – she had cancer. I hung onto a hope that it would stop. Contrary to my hope, as the years went on – and our expenses climbed – and I continued to work myself to the bone – she continued to relentlessly critique and even started being more emotionally demanding, expecting me to take responsibility for her inability to cope with her emotions – I was drowning. She was asking too much of me. There was no deliverance from her abuse.
I was exhausted. In the peak of the abuse I endured at her hand, I was working multiple jobs, sleeping 10+ hours a night and napping frequently during the day around meetings and work, then coping with alcohol to numb myself to the abusive dynamic and fall asleep with no support from her. The only time I could approach her sexually was when I was intoxicated, with inhibitions lowered. The only time I could have a conversation with her was with a counselor in the room. Without something to mitigate opportunity for her to be cruel to me, either a mediator or self-medication, I was scared.
I lived at home in a constant state of alert and cognitive fatigue. No matter how I tried to make sense of my home life, I couldn’t. When she looked at or touched me, I would recoil in fear, anticipating some sort of incisive critique or demand expressed. Then she would criticize me for not responding warmly to her, exacerbating the cycle.
I couldn’t meet her needs – I was utterly exhausted. When I would tell her of the exhaustion I experienced in marital counseling, her responses were typically something along the lines of not believing me, denying what I was saying was true, or calling my exhaustion an ‘excuse’. I could interact happily with my friends… why not her?
I did not deny her demands were legitimate; rather, I expressed my inability to meet them because of how fatigued I was. I said ‘I can’t’ so many times. I realize her demands were small; affection, saying ‘i love you’, complimenting her. But it’s disorienting to be consistently berated and belittled by a person and then asked to compliment them and tell them you love them.
The push and pull of abuse is exhausting to a person who is not mentally because it does not make sense.
Further, in counseling I realized that I have forgotten that I have needs. I have lost the tools to even evaluate what my needs might be because, implicitly and explicitly in my marriage, I was told my needs don’t matter.
My marriage made no sense; I was obviously drowning, exhausted with the demands our life imposed on me. I was doing everything I could to get straight. I was in individual therapy, marital counseling, pastoral counseling, trying different antidepressants (4 in total – all with no effect), changing eating habits, trying to reduce my drinking, getting medical tests to see if I had health issues causing my fatigue, and being vulnerable in my friendships in an attempt to invite others in to process and move forward and figure out my marriage. I desperately shared everything I could about my marriage, hoping someone else would crack the code where I couldn’t.
None of my efforts worked. I could not get out of the exhausted state I was in. It’s worth noting here that within weeks of separating I almost completely cut out alcohol, got into a regular sleep schedule, was waking up at 6-7am every day and reading multiple hours (which I couldn’t do in marriage due to cognitive fatigue/distraction), and experienced a resurgence of energy. I have felt the duress I was under lift and lift and lift and the weeks and months have went on.
In retrospect, I was experiencing cognitive fatigue because I was taking the demands my wife was placing on me seriously, but no matter what I did I could not make sense of them. How could she not see that I was doing everything I could to make ends meet – the ends which she was imposing on me? I did not have additional energy left. She would ask me ‘Do you love me?’ and I didn’t know how to respond. How is my work not at least some symbol of love? My dream was to be a poor professor, which she knew – instead I was grinding myself to the bone, working in digital marketing with multiple freelance projects, picking up a bartending gig and a teaching gig on top of full-time employment.
The last straw was when she accused me of abuse. I took that accusation seriously, and weighed it against my experience. ‘Am I an abuser?’ I asked myself. I sorted through my behavior and how I treated her. I came to the conclusion that I may be a poor husband in serious ways; but I am not an abuser. And the abuse question opened the door to the question… ‘I may not be an abuser… but is there abuse in our marriage?’ And the answer quickly became ‘Yes.’
When we were married, I understood that she wasn’t going to work much for a while. However, she worked the bare minimum she could for 4 years, earning at most in a single year $18,000. As the years went on and my income climbed, our debt continued to climb as well. She was still contributing the same, yet spending frivolously on useless knick knacks for our home and a cat. As I packed up our home to sell, the majority of items were dozens of boxes of useless junk she’d accumulated.
She lived a life of mania around finances. We would go to marital counseling and she would regularly express, ‘I would rather be poor and happy than rich and sad’. We were poor and sad. Sure, my income was the highest it’d ever been – but we were still drowning, with debts climbing. At the end of our marriage, we’d accumulated about $20,000 in consumer debt between credit cards and personal loans.
It was traumatizing (and abusive) to go to counseling and be told by my partner she would ‘rather be poor and happy and than rich and sad’ when the factual scenario we were living was neither. She actively denied reality – both my lived experience and the reality of our finances – at my expense. It was killing me, trying to make sense of what we were going through but being unable to make sense of what I was being told and what I was experiencing.
Throughout this time, it is worth adding that she also leveraged my spiritual leadership to ‘set me straight’. I was in a conservative Evangelical space, believing that men are the ultimate provider in a family unit and primarily responsible for the status of the marriage. Because I was not doing what she wanted me to (lavishing her with affection), I was muscled into multiple groups and meetings where pastoral care intervened to restore our marriage. In the moment, I submitted to my pastoral care because of my trust for them and my faith in God. Now, I believe this dynamic was abusive; my pastoral care did not care in any sense for my soul; they only cared about fixing my marriage. No questions around ‘why’ my marriage was so bad were asked; only what was going on and how it could be fixed. I relish the thought of my pastoral care being held accountable for the abuse they exercised upon me during this time on judgment day, albeit through a shaken faith in a God that would enable this dynamic.
With my spiritual community, I shared that I felt like she was my tormentor; that she it felt as if I were on the ground due to exhaustion, and she was standing on my throat, telling me to ‘get up’ and ‘tell me you love me’; that our metaphorical life was a boat, sinking, and I was desperately bailing out water. All the while, she stood at the other end of the boat, desperately bailing water in and looking at me like I was a maniac.
And yet, because there was no adultery, there was no category for divorce. We had sworn an oath before God and were required to fix this.
As I reflect upon my marriage (and the ongoing divorce proceedings), a few things are clear.
She is an abuser. I don’t think she intends to be, but impact matters. She is mentally ill and unable to reckon with basic reality.
She is a manipulator. She manipulated my spiritual community against me. I was viewed as someone to be corrected while begging for help from my trusted friends and pastoral care, whom I now regret being vulnerable with due to their abuse and denial of my reality because I didn’t fit neatly into their thin theological categories.
She is an enslaver. In divorce proceedings, she is doing everything she can to get every dollar from me, leveraging student loans I did not co-sign, my continually increasing income due to my hard work, and denying every claim of dissipated assets she can.
It is truly a mind-breaking experience to see your compassion leveraged against you for money. I had to sit under an attorney proclaiming to a judge that, since I consented to move up our marriage date before her cancer surgery, ‘I knew what I was getting into’. That she is entitled to large sums of money (that do not exist; we never had more than $3000 in our bank account during marriage) due to that decision.
Even apart from the abuse, I did not know what I was getting into. Including the abuse, I am full of remorse for having invited such an evil, hateful person into my life.
This experience has been the most challenging to my faith. As I endured abuse from her, I trusted God in a few ways. That the compassion I showed would maybe be rewarded – or, at least not punished. That my spiritual community wanted what was best for me. That God was not a punitive, hateful God (like my partner). I do not believe this trust was well placed, but am open to shortcomings in my views here.
I struggle to consent to a God that allowed my experience to occur. I’m open and processing in some kind of faith, but I really don’t know what it looks like to find a place to put this pain and betrayal that I’m experiencing.
I am a survivor of abuse, and the abuse I endured was mind-shattering. I sacrificed everything to support a partner diagnosed with serious bodily illness, which drove her to hate me and deny my lived experience because she could not reconcile it with the hatefulness she cultivated over our marriage, choosing bitterness over any positivity for four years, poisoning my well-being in the process.
What I envisioned to be the most compassionate moment of my life — marrying a person with cancer and promising to support and love them — has become nothing but a symbol of pain and remorse. I envisioned a life where my partner and I would fight against the terror of cancer; instead she hopped to the other side, choosing her ongoing health issues as the ally and myself as the enemy.
It took me 4 years to realize it. And as she drags me through court to leverage every dollar out of me I can, my only regret is that I didn’t leave my abuser to her own devices sooner; self-pity, hatefulness, and a sheer disregard toward taking responsibility for anything.
I am grateful but drowning. As we are negotiating settlement, the end is near, and my abuser will soon be unable to execute any influence in my life.

My Dad is bringing up a very important word,
"No"
Actually, I think that was his favorite word.
I had a great habit of using it when I was under his roof. What he said is usually what happens first. He was the head of the house and the leader of his own reality. When he was intoxicated or not, what he saw and thought in his mind came to life, even when it never took place in real time.
Why did I give him so much respect when he clearly was showing me toxicity in our relationship at home?
He pretended to be a person of high stature when we are in public. No one would have guessed his bad habits with substances at home and the way he acted behind closed doors. When I reached out for emotional support at school or church, I was mostly shunned by anyone that listened to my story. They taught me that my feelings were wrong and asking for help gets me in trouble. When I told my mom anything, she was busy at work and came home tired. She trusted everything my father would tell her and I got in trouble for speaking out for his behavior. I was kept at home and if anything that could get me out of the house was already planned to be declined if I asked to do anything.
It was hard to please anyone at this point.
I kept my room spotless and vacuumed everyday, just so my dad couldn't say no and tell me to clean my room if I had a friend standing next to me wanting to hang out.
I had one friend in my life that saw my father for who he really is and he scared her pretty bad. He chased me to her car when I was trying to leave my house, he was on oxy at the time. My friend hesitated and kept the car in the driveway and told me to go do what he said. I wanted her to drive as fast as she could away from him, because he took the battery out of my car and I couldn't leave to be with Suz.
Well, after that incident, I lost my friend. She told her parents what happened and she broke all contact with me and stopped talking to me at church. Rumors went around and her mom I sang with on stage started to be disrespectful towards me.
I learned a valuable lesson that day....
When you feel safe enough to speak out and let someone see your true self, you scare people away.
When I trusted someone, I was abandoned when they saw my life for what it is.
The truth was hard to swallow and I had to stay around my father regardless of trying to find help in some form of way I felt heard. I tried to be emancipated, I went to church and sought out resources, I researched about how to prevent suicidal tendencies, I was speaking to a child psychologist. I was working on being more respectful towards my parents, but when my dad got high and made up stories to be angry and attack me. I had no way to protect myself and prove that it was just my father being an addict going through a psychotic episode.
This is why the Lord forced me into psychology.
I didn't want anything to do with it! (Working in a psych ward.... It sucked.)
Suz was the first person to really allow me to learn how to understand it with her version of explaining reality. She is a psychic medium. A very good one! She was very outspoken, rude and funny.... I can take the hard criticism. Nothing amounted to the trauma my father already caused me to feel. I survived high school band.... My director was exactly like my father and I was verbally abused at school by certain individuals.
I kept it all to myself and I planned very strategically my way to "heaven". I kept a journal on purpose for someone to find later. I wrote about everything I was feeling and how I was being treated, my poems, other interesting facts about spirituality, death and dying.
Suz taught me how to have a "book of shadows"..... Well, she is a witch..... It shouldn't be scary when I say that, she was a very proud "light witch". She only worked for the good of humanity. Christianity shuns such practices, but it really is part of the culture before religion became a thing. She taught me so many things that my Dad made me swear I would never get involved in.....
My Dad went into psychology after he decided he wasn't going to be a pastor. His past marriage was a major roadblock for him that he lost faith in God and didn't feel it was right for him to lie on stage to other believers when he wasn't being honest about his own walk in faith anymore.
A divorce would literally kill my soul. I can't imagine what betrayal feels like until you promise your life in vows to someone and it doesn't work out....My Dad made sure to show me that marriage is a special connection and I had to be very cautious who I accept as my spouse. I never forgotten how important it was for him to see me with the right man, but he was so overprotective, he never allowed me to learn how to date or even go to a school dance.
I blame the drugs for interfering in our relationship as a family. My Father was a very smart man, until he took a pill, shot up, or drink... My dad worked in anesthesia, he knew how to mix his own concoction and by pass the system to get his fix. He was forced to retire don't worry, but his knowledge to get drugs was phenomenal all that he knew about medicine.
It really sucked that he knew psychology and ways to manipulate people to get what he wanted. He was a very skilled hypnotherapist on top of that. My family is the result of a head narcissist raising more products of himself.
If you see my family now, we are estranged for good reasons, but they still hurt me personally. I really tried to keep us together after my father passed away, but the rest of my family chose to ignore my advances to keep in contact. I'm not even invited to the family reunions.
It's okay, because we have a lot of family history of incest and "S.A." and I understand why we are not invited.... I know a lot of things about our family after my father passed away. I know why he turned to be a pastor and then went in psychology to help himself and others, but then he lost his way and turned to drugs to mask his pain. The enemy stepped in and my Dad gave into his weaknesses..... He tried and he fought hard. Even when he attacked me my whole life. I still sat there and listened to him and I was forced to listen and not leave the room, but then God showed me to talk back to my Dad.....
So, I started to read more about the Bible and relate to him.
That's why I went to church...
I went to church 4 times a week to get away from the house, but to also just understand why I want to end my life and know that I would go to heaven if I actually tried it.....I was worried about my Mom and how my actions would affect her, she was a big reason why I stalled my plans and then my Dad had this wise idea to get me to work at a mortuary. Told me to walk into one and ask for a job.
Crazy how I jump topics all of a sudden, but this is how my Dad and I got along with each other. Weird and comical. lol
If it wasn't about music, it was about spirituality. I was into a lot of death related shows because I was suicidal. If you remember any of these, they came out around the time I was in high school.
Six Feet Under
Dead Like Me
Dr. G Medical Examiner
1000 Ways to Die
Ghost hunters
Crime Scene Clean Up Crew shows.
I would walk in the dining room while he was chillin in his hospital bed. Watching Finding Big Foot.
"Hey DAD! check this out."
It was a nice distraction to his day. It brought up his own fears with common daily interactions because of my odd obsession with the topic of dying.
My father at this point in his cancer diagnosis, he was on something they call,
Palliative care.
My mom explained to me that it means he was going to die. Lovely how blunt my mother is, but that's how she said it without sugar coating it....
But it was in a way it would be under his terms. My father at this point died once while receiving radiation therapy. His heart stopped and was revived. When he woke up angry and violent towards at the medical team. He yelled at my mom that he was ready to "go". So, after that incident he got the right person to sign him up for his new journey to his death.
That was a weird way of telling you what palliative care is, but that's how I found out and understood that he had a "DNR" to his name after that incident. Sometimes he was in a hospice home for a few months to give us a break at home dealing with his drama.
My Dad was surrounded by death, so it made me really research death and dying very deeply. I was afraid for anyone to see the books I read because they were about taboo topics you shouldn't see a teenager obsessing over. Death and dying, crossing over, letting go of loved ones, suicide survivors, decomposition of human remains, the death process, how a body is embalmed, what medical examiners while cutting open a corpse.
Then I got into the spiritual side of things that involve the devil and crossing over. How to avoid walking back towards hell when you are deceived by dark forces. How to fight your inner hell and not be trapped in that mindset when you are passing away.
I would have the craziest dreams after learning about these topics. But in a weird way, all I wanted to do was sleep to escape my reality. I would talk to my Dad about the stuff I found about those topics and it helped him be closer to me as a father. Something my little brother doesn't understand and ridiculed about me when he criticized my relationship with him. He had his own way to being with Dad, but my way, was with deeper meaning and serious topics. Stuff only Dad and I knew what that meant. It wasn't supposed to make sense to my mom or brother the special talks we had when he was in pain laying in bed.
I showed my Dad the other side to life....
I helped my Dad not be afraid to die, and do it with dignity and strength.
I helped my Dad understand that his addictions didn't ruin our connection as father and daughter and that I wanted to forgive him for his past before he died. He really appreciated my understanding that the drugs turned him into a different person, but inside of him, God was always there. My father told me, because of me, I allowed him to find love for God again and he was closer to his Mom because I showed him to not be afraid of my friend Suz.
That my friend wasn't evil and she taught me so much about angels and spirits, he was learning about them because I had the best mentor in the world. She helped me find my relationship with my Dad, that brought me to be closer to God and because I learned about God in a metaphysical way, I helped myself grow in my own understanding to where I wasn't going to end my life.
I found a reason to live even through the pain of watching the enemy run through my family and take away everyone and everything that means something to me.....
(I would like to post this, but I know it's not ready. I have so much to say and I know my story will help someone else not be afraid.)
I am still writing my story.
This is the book I was supposed to write about....
The one about death and dying.
Not about my background in psychology.
*That is a message for someone else. hint hint... That is your topic to write about. I hope you receive that message with understanding and go forth wisely. You asked me to remind you, so I am, quietly...
I am working with others in a way the Lord leads me.
It takes up my energy from writing and I have to prioritize what is more important. When it comes to someone's transition. I feel led to help someone cross over. I've done this since I was a child. No one taught me to understand how I do this. I also dream about meeting certain individuals and speak to them about life and death, God allows me to remember my dreams and I share them with the people it is about.
Most times, God will send people to talk to me and then I learn about them dying or having a terminal illness that is difficult to get through. That is where I am reminded of my life with my father and my jobs in the medical field and bring up all that I learned about death, dying, spirituality, religion, crossing over, eastern medicine, etc....
Then I become friends, or we have nice conversations that are very engaging and healing in general. I am later told that I have helped them in some way and they are happy to have met me. Then my dad shows up in my presence and shows me how I am doing what I am supposed to and to trust my gut feelings from now on. He promised me when he was alive, he was always going to be by my side and teach me about life.
Now I finally understand what he meant by that and I now that I know how to
"Listen with my HEART"
That is how he spoke to his mom before he crossed over. I taught him how and he was able to go deeper with it since his soul was ascending and leaving the physical body. The dream state plays a big part of crossing over and communicating with loved ones. That is where my gifts come into play. I am sensitive enough to feel him and learn his lessons that he encourages me to write it all down.
I'm not the writer I wish to become yet, but as long as it's getting out there for someone to find, that's all that matters.
Don't forget to realize that we are all dying. Don't allow your diagnosis or reality to have you feel stuck in misery until you die. Don't allow the pain and confusion to stop you from gaining understanding to the karma you're experiencing.Being a medium for me has been traumatizing, because I had to earn my way to understanding. I had to experience hell in order to seek solitude and want to create peace with my sanity and not let the forces around me cause me to go insane. I went "within" so I can heal my trauma and know what triggers me to thinking about the negative side to things.
That is all the enemy fighting with you spiritually.
When we die, we lose our vessel, not our spirit.
We are the spirit having the human experience.
This isn't forever.
Thank God for that!
Pain does end, but learn what the pain wants to teach you about life around you. You will help someone else with your story when you're meant to cross paths.
Everyone in your life is there to teach you something.
Are you ready for the lesson?
Are you ready to understand your lesson?
So, it's crazy how I end up writing these posts, but they are all for a reason that I don't understand right now, but I'm doing as I'm told.
I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of anyone stalking me because I speak of life in a way no one else has, because this is my story.
I don't know why I wrote it this way before I got here.
My destiny, I mean.....
I know my purpose now and of all the things I pushed away in my life, God forced me to go back into it and learn more about myself. The things I didn't want to face and be reminded about my Dad.... I just want to live my life in peace. I didn't want to think about my past love, but I meet people that remind me of my life back home and that person in particular.....
So, it's all hitting at once. It's a slow process, my father has been gone for 11 years now. I'm getting the hang of it now...... Writing this isn't a race for me, the lessons are exciting to finally understand why I went through them, but again.... Time helps me explain things better when I see it in a different perspective. I couldn't have accomplished that goal until I went through the pain and worked on my character to change my outcomes to my problems. I had to change myself first.
I hope those that are part of this journey with me understand that I am only putting out there tools to help them succeed.
I'm not going out of my way to create another trauma bond or narcissistic injury towards anyone. I love them very much and I want them to work on themselves and gain abundance correctly, not with the use of black magic and occult practices.
That's another story for another day. Suz wants them to know that she was in my life to warn me about my lessons in my future, but I can't run from them. I am here to learn lessons and teach others how to learn theirs.
That's all this is about.
Life is a stage, how do you want to play it?
I choose to grow and allow myself to see the positive to where I feel the emotion of bliss, love, joy and acceptance of all things coexisting together.
I be back soon,
I hope you have a nice weekend.
<3,
Tina,

It's a tale as old as time, conservative Christians are against something until either they, or one of their family members either are LGBT, or need a divorce, or need a abortion. Once someone they love is different, then they care about the issue.

Andrew and Debbie James defied their pastor’s advice to kick their daughter out of their house.
But Lilia moved out anyway, frustrated by her restrictions in the home. Her parents began reading, including books by Dr. Yarhouse and by David Gushee, a Christian ethicist who has argued for rethinking traditional Christian approaches to inclusion. They prayed. And they participated in a support group through Embracing the Journey, a network of small groups intended to “build bridges” among L.G.B.T.Q. people, their families and the church.
The group’s founders, Greg and Lynn McDonald, live near Atlanta and have a son who is gay. Their first reaction when he came out, informed by groups like Focus on the Family, was that his sexuality was a sin, and one that had been caused by a failure in the home — an absent father or an overbearing mother. They changed their approach after reading the gospels together, paying attention to the Bible’s accounts of how Jesus actually treated people.
“I felt I needed to choose: Choose God or choose my son,” Mrs. McDonald recalled. “God told me, ‘No, you get to do both.’”
The McDonalds said almost half of the families that participate in Embracing the Journey now come to them because they have children who are transgender or nonbinary, like the Jameses. Eventually the Jameses started leading groups for other parents; they have now led at least five groups, counseling more than 100 parents.

So my question is, why don't we look through every social issue as if it effects someone we love? It feels to me like that's what God tells us to do. What if someone you loved was a South American refugee who didn't have the resources to enter the country? What if someone you loved need an abortion? What if someone you loved needed a divorce? Were LGBT? Had committed a crime?
I feel like the Bible is very clear. Matthew, 7:12, states, "In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." I feel like the right wing is forgetting verses like that.

I’ve been reading a book about how a woman named Elizabeth Packard was sent to a facility by her husband because divorce was likely not an option as a pastor. He used a facility to silence her. It was extremely common for men to send their wives whom they did not want around anymore to insane asylums. My dad sent me to TTI facilities as a kid because he too wanted me to submit and be silent. I’ve never been the silent, submitting type. I’ve always been very intelligent and independent. It’s just wild to me how this injustice has been going on for centuries. It needs to stop. There are times when people are an actual danger to themselves or others and need help but most of us were just normal kids. We deserved to just be kids. Trying to throw out your wife or kids for not tolerating abuse is insane. We should be committing those kind of people to facilities. Instead they were places filled with traumatized, thrown away kids. I’ve learned that all I needed was freedom from the abuse to be happy and at peace. If we want kids to be mentally well after trauma, we should be giving them good places to live… not restricting them, belittling them, and giving them further trauma.

Hello all! Im a 43 year old single dad. After my divorce I went to a deep search inside myself. I was a prodestent pastor for years. I believe Catholicism is the way. It speaks to my soul as prodestentism ever did. When I look at the icon of our Holy Mother and I'm hit with a deep emotional response. When i say the Rosary I'm covered in goosebumps and feel...something very deep in my soul.

Tom Brady says he regrets what, because of how it impacted his kids?
A Retiring from the NFL
B His Netflix roast
C His divorce
The correct answer is: https://www.answerground.com/2024/05/tom-brady-says-he-regrets-what-because.html

Tom Brady says he regrets what, because of how it impacted his kids?
A Retiring from the NFL
B His Netflix roast
C His divorce
The correct answer is: https://www.answerground.com/2024/05/tom-brady-says-he-regrets-what-because.html

Prepare for a looong post because I don’t know how to write short stories.
I’m 19 and currently on break from college for the summer. I was planning on getting an apartment so I didn’t have to go back, but that fell through when I realized I wouldn’t be able to afford it. My mom and I have always clashed opinion-wise, since I was at least 11-12 and it’s becoming unbearable to deal with in the past few years.
A little bit of background: she started taking me to a specific church weekly when I was around two. That’s around the time I “accepted Jesus into my heart” or whatever, and I was crazy about the guy. All I knew was that my mom loved him, and I loved my mom so I had to follow her rules. That’s what the bible said.
My mom eventually met and married a man from our church, and I was the scapegoat for most of his emotional abuse, and I wasn’t really impacted by it then, but now I’m really beginning to see how badly it hurt me. The whole time this was going on, we were still regularly going to church.
I had a lot of issues with the girls my age, mostly because I wasn’t like them. I was religious and homeschooled, sure, but I wasn’t the ideal candidate for their friendship because I was “weird” (the fact that I’m both autistic and queer probably ties into that).
While I was dealing with the mean girls at church, my mom was also dealing with her husband, who was a horrible person. She didn’t want to leave him because “God hates divorce” and “maybe God can fix him” and I, as a barely conscious little kid was like “yeah, that tracks.” The pastors at our church encouraged my parents to stay together as well, and whenever my parents were having a bad argument they would come over and talk to them. It never helped, of course. The pastors didn’t even bother to talk to me or my siblings at the time. When I was around 10, I finally got to go to public school, and my parents’ relationship slowly began to disintegrate. They were divorced before I was 12, and I, my mom, and my two siblings that were hers, moved in with my grandparents.
It was around this time, I began to question religion. I don’t know what made me do that, but a seed had been planted in my head and boy, did it grow.
At 16, I came out as non-binary and bisexual to her, and she refused to accept this. I begged her to call me my name, I cried when she yelled at me for having a crush on my former best friend, I tried to argue, and every argument just kept coming back around. It was like an enormous circle. I’m not the kind to stay quiet about who I am, and you bet I wanted my mom to accept me as a person.
She never did.
For the past year or so, as I’ve been out of her house at college, I’ve been slowly coming to terms with everything my mother has put me through, and it’s been a lot for me to handle.
I managed to form some good relationships with people there, and even found a partner, who I love very much. They were raised in a completely different environment than I was (not poverty, atheist, accepting) and every time I tell them a new story that I start to remember, they’re shocked. I didn’t really see anything wrong with everything that happened/didn’t really care about it until I left home and met someone that cares about me. They’re funny and they make me laugh, although most of their jokes don’t land with my mom and siblings.
I had some condoms in my nightstand from college that they got out while my brother was in the room and suggested we fill with water, and my brother told my mom.
My mom decided she was then going to grill me on my sex life. I managed to deny everything, but she made me feel like shit, and even threatened to keep me from seeing my partner (I’ll admit, they were kind of dumb for the joke, but they don’t really know how to act around my family yet because I try to avoid having them over as much as possible so they don’t have to deal with my mom.)
It’s been around three weeks since I left college and came home, and I’m dreading the rest of the summer. I can’t drive because I wasn’t allowed to get a license, I’m stuck in a small town, and if my mom digs any deeper into my business, I’m going to be all alone too. I just want to know how to cope with all of this. It’s too much for me to handle at the moment.
TLDR; My mother, who is partially responsible for a lot of the trauma I experienced as a child, is unaccepting of my identity/me as a person, since I’m not religious. I have to live with her for the summer and she’s driving me crazy.
Edit: Added line spacing + a TLDR!!

My grandparents passed away recently. I followed the guidelines my grandma set up for her final event. Her Church, her burial plot, her casket and the same for my grandpa. I just didn't expect for it to be a joint funeral. I sent out the notifications to friends of theirs and family after the date was set in stone. Their friends all came, so did most of my grandma's church but no family showed up. I wasn't surprised, I hadn't seen most of them in about 4 years.
I had a great time with my grandparents friends and then I went back home and cried my heart out. I had been their sole caregiver and I didn't know what to do without them. I had taken care of them for 15 years. It started with little things like lifting heavy things and escalated to needing to change the bed twice a night sometimes. I was empty and started to scroll through my grandpa's facebook to see pictures he posted before his memory went..
I found a group, started about 3 years ago that was being flooded with activity. When I went poking around I found out it was my mother who was hosting a funeral at her church and was 'trying to get final expenses taken care of.' I was stunned. Here was the woman I hadn't spoken to since throwing her out of the house for stealing jewelry and upsetting grandma terribly by using her Alzheimer's against her. 'How could you forget my birthday! You promised to give me this!'
I went to the funeral my mother had planned and listened to the pastor and then my mother got up to talk. She told everyone how hard it was taking care of them and something inside me roared to life. I don't remember everything I said, but it did include that she didn't pay for anything for them, not their caskets, not their burial plots, not their cremation, nothing. I told everyone I put them to rest at the funeral grandma planned herself 4 days prior. I said she'd never paid for any of their care or even seen them for 4 years.
I was asked to leave and drove home. Later, a cousin asked me if what I said was true and when I said it was and I could provide proof, they explained my mother had been taking funds from the family for years to pay for their care at a facility because they had outlived their insurance policy. They also explained I got a lot of people in trouble because somewhere in the speech I shouted I had done it all alone for years without any help. A lot of family members used my grandparents as an excuse to get out of work and had invited their coworkers to the funeral. By hearing my outburst they were now in trouble for lying as for the reasons to leave work or miss days.
She then went on to ask me about the inheritance and when that would be passed out. I told her that if anyone had earned the inheritance it had already been taken care of. I thought I was in the right, but now I'm doubting myself after so many cousins and family members are calling to tell me I handled it really poorly.
AITA? Did I handle this badly? Everyone's telling me I did.
Update: Thank you all. I felt I was the asshole because of how badly I reacted at the memorial service my mother held. It was very far out of character for me. I am usually very quiet and I don't talk too often, much like my grandpa. I screamed at them, I cried, I waved my arms and made an absolute spectacle of my grief. I feel so embarrassed by how I argued and carried on. Several family members are asking questions and seem genuinely bewildered by the circumstances.
This happened on Sunday and it's Friday now, I am still feeling as lost as I did at first. One of my uncle's did lose his job, that was confirmed earlier. He had multiple schemes going on at his workplace with a need for a medical lift bed for grandma and got his coworkers to donate around 8k in total. The gossip queens that attended the funeral told everyone Monday morning and by Monday afternoon he was in trouble with HR. This wasn't the only way he tried to earn funds, there are at least two others I know about from his son.
His son, my cousin, is furious with his dad and my mom. He and several other cousins of mine are suing my mother for taking funds from them. They thought they were helping pay for 24 hour care at an assisted living facilities. Every month my mother was collecting between 2,000 and 9,000 from family members. She would lament to them how hard and soul crushing it was to see such strong people just staring vacantly off into space, how they were unresponsive but this wasn't true.
My cousins apologized for not reaching out to me, but I'm not very close with anyone in my family. Some of you guessed it in the DM's but yeah, I was an affair baby. I came out 'wrong' and my mother's husband divorced her over it. The people I was closest to growing up were my grandparents. It's bad enough that some of the cousins forgot I was a family member at all. It's a huge mess, they're apologizing but I just don't want anything to do with them.
Grandpa's business is not worth millions, but it pays the bills. It's a handyman company. My family is asking about the company, how everything is going there and I'm putting up a stony face. It's not the family business, it's mine and it has been for years. All of the employees respect me because I treat them the same way grandpa did. I do still mess up some things that they tease me for. It's a very friendly place to work.
One of grandpa's properties is just a fenced in yard with covered storage for the different projects. It's right next to the business property and is just where we work on remodeling old RV's or turning vans into RV's. We have a few friends parked there too but it's just a dirt lot with gravel, a fence and a cover. There are some security cameras there and so far no issues.
I thought I would give an overall update and just thank you all for the support. I've felt so lost and I really did think I was TA for exposing them. Jobs are important and hard to come by out here and it's not just going to affect them. It's going to affect their partners, their children and even their pets. I feel most guilty about who else exposing them affected. Thank you, I really didn't expect this to blow up like it did. I'm going to keep reading and responding to comments. Thank you all again, this has been so incredible. I was never 'supposed' to be angry about anything, but seeing all the comments cussing out my family has been more cathartic than I can express. Thank you.

Microsoft Rewards Bing News Quiz Answers (5-17-2024)
1: The northern lights continue to be visible across parts of the US. What is causing them?
A Solar activity
B Hot weather
C Lunar eclipse
Correct Answer: Solar activity
2: Tom Brady says he regrets what, because of how it impacted his kids?
A His divorce
B Retiring from the NFL
C His Netflix roast
Correct Answer: His divorce
For other questions https://www.quizandanswers.com/microsoft-rewards-bing-news-quiz-answers-5-17-2024/

Tom Brady says he regrets what, because of how it impacted his kids?
A His divorce
B Retiring from the NFL
C His Netflix roast
Correct Answer: https://www.quizandanswers.com/tom-brady-says-he-regrets-what-because-of-how-it-impacted-his-kids/

Tom Brady says he regrets what, because of how it impacted his kids?
A His divorce
B Retiring from the NFL
C His Netflix roast
Correct Answer: https://www.quizandanswers.com/tom-brady-says-he-regrets-what-because-of-how-it-impacted-his-kids/

Introduction

Christian religious education is defined as the process where by Christian learning takes place. It often involves “teaching which enables practicing Christians to adopt and deepen their Christian belief, values and dispositions to experience and act in a Christian way. It depends to a greater extent on how this process is adopted and practiced in different churches.

Different practices in Christian education in local churches

At some degree of certainty that all Christian churches have a similar aim’s and practices. The liturgical aspect is of paramount importance in the Trinitarian belief and practices in that it serves as introduction to what Christianity is all about. This is where the process of Cognitive learning takes places it involves the worship service where hymns are sang, lessons extracted from the books of the bible are read, sermon often punctuated with exhortation, admonishment and instruction in righteous living is delivered and prayers are said. It also involves the celebration of the holy Eucharist which Jesus Christ himself, recognized as the head of the church, initiated based on experience acquired in the worship service, it can be seen as Christian religious education is a confessional churchly activity of evangelism, instruction and nurture.
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I assure that “Youth are the most critical of all critics when it comes to religion”. Today, common inhabitants do pray and accept the holiness in church for Christ which they are aware that Christ constitutes the sacred bread and wine, but do not entirely act upon worshipping and fail to confront the thoughts and feelings to masses which would spread dignity of godliness among selves. The moral lies in the fact that this creates lackness to reach spiritual beliefs through worship and liturgy resulting in declination the faith which affects the divine nature approaching positivity.
Christian education is a vital important part in youth development. For Christian education to be explored, generation of today should be brought into contact through various practices. In the early centuries, reformers emphasized and trusted true faith and doctrines, to change and reform behaviour as the only solution for salvation in Christian education. Christian school movements prove a challenge as a messenger to convey god’s given mission and honour god.

Traditional approach

This approach was practiced since many decades and is still continued to be practiced which helps in binding and governing the ethics and morality within the religion and belief. Since beginning described, in leaving our homeland to teach the gospels throughout the world through scriptures, god conveyed his message – by sending his son Jesus for us, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Church, and Baptism for building unity.
Christianity consists of three things – Religious faith, way of life and community of mankind towards salvation are most important. The most vital of all belief preached is that there is only one god. The term Christian does not imply on the fact that a Christian should grow up in a Christian community, but precisely accepts Christian faith and belief, follows and leads the path of life on which Jesus walked on and made mankind accept Christian community through involvement and participation physically and mentally, as a result, traditional approach is how the local churches and preachers go about conducting their services. The apostle’s creed was apparently developed to summarize the Christian doctrine for man who baptised himself.

Theological and Biblical approach

This approach is regarded as an abstract discipline which teaches what bible is written. It is the study of god expressing god’s thought. The movement of bible indicates the doctrines to the kerygma to didache, to theological ethics, to revealed truth, to the way of living in Christian community.
God’s salvation to the world, worshipping the holy spirit, baptizing people in the name of god, preaching gospels as the word of god, share Christ’s own body and blood as bread and wine in holy communion, repenting and confessing god’s forgiveness etc are the concepts of theological and biblical foundation to Christian education. Even though mankind is aware but fail to involve due to the increasing evil and greed.
The service is organized to accept the call of god and to love him and others and which aims to gather people to worship him in return allowing him to take control over the world and through his presence spread peace, righteousness, justice, joy and helps in the growth of the life in an individual through increased faith.

Activities organized and performed in different local churches through to these practices

Some churches develop the initiative of the worshippers by confessing their faith in the words of the apostle creed. Each activity is correlated and composes a range of varied elements. Their current activities reflect the lives of an individual and drive them for a purpose through various numbers of activities to attain a better quality of life.
Due to activities, all age group gain variety of skills through many spiritual centred activities. Church acts as an interpreter between god and the worshippers to support in training the composition of these activities which are far more complex to solve a disturbed youth. They have to thereby standardize their curriculum and activities in regards to implement it. Different denominations organize activities to resolve the aim therefore to meet the need of the youth. Curriculum should be more focused than just on providing knowledge.
Activities are necessarily planned to build youth commitment. I believe it is necessary to reach them, i.e. train them to be strong future leaders. They should be kept one step ahead, for their life is very challenging. I believe that the best way to outreach youths mind is to be a youth like them to understand their psychology as it differs from every individual. The same activities do get affected as the youth is choosy and subtle.

Changing activities for tomorrow

Here the question is voiced that, what substantial change can be brought apart from the current activities to eradicate the above upcoming and dynamic problems in nature with respect to behavioural management or of what medication of healing would work out.
I would comment, the activities in the practices should be expanded and conduct likewise programmes workshops on educating purity before marriage, sex, child abuse, exploitation, rape, adultery, adolescence sex, teenage mothers, drugs addiction, aids, and divorce. Workshops, seminars for sex, abuse, peer mentoring, identifying preventive measures instead of curative measures targeting the social, political and the economical factors would be effective for incorporating the overall issues to bring the insight of the good and evil sides of every consequence, discussion on essential real life skills. Our goal is to create “world changers”, inviting the sacrifiers of evil and giving and sharing healthy priorities to save ourselves and the world, before it becomes a terrible fate and a debt for our own selves.
As the world is in unsafe fists of crime, terrorism, corruption, violence, youth have been diverted to a fast-paced and expects instant opportunities. Perhaps, the approaches of these local activities tend to be helpful and may bring positive results but I still feel that there is something missing, to monitor the youth from within. In an article – Practical: The Role of the Full-Time Youth Pastor in the Local Church, by Graeme Codrington, Denomination: Baptist (All), submitted on, May 18, 1997, states that, “In a world that is so busy, and demands so much of all of its inhabitants, young people need a secure environment, where they can experiment and decide who they want to be. They need significant people to be there to help them through this process. They need role models to follow”.
Above statement eventually satisfies the fact that these folks are craving for friendly support socially and for stimulation. Overall factors which conglomerate are peers, parents, teachers, church members and Christian community. All factors rely on one common feature which constitutes leadership. Ironically, most youth do understand the surrounding factors but the factors themselves become tough unknowingly that they can’t quite control the situation which then becomes too late to recover. The task is questioned commonly as what kind of leader a person should be to prove creditability and capability to influence the youth to pursue the direction towards god? In an article again stated by, Graeme Codrington, Denomination: Baptist (All), – Practical: The Role of the Full-Time Youth Pastor in the Local Church, submitted on, May 18, 1997, “Young people are not just “little adults” (cf. Elkind 1984:18). They are complex individuals who are battling to deal with the awesome transformation of their bodies, minds, and emotions. They are in a time of transition and growth, developing from the birthed bundle of potential to a fully integrated, functional member of society. The church is in a unique position to assist in this process”. Church as a role model fosters spiritual growth in every youth making them responsible to participate in Christian faith; she is a sign for an entrance of the god’s kingdom to the world of salvation, repentance, justice and peace to bring equality. She struggles hard and performs her duties wholly and solemnly reminds parents to structure their offspring’s life in Christian formation.
Church members acting as supporters, preach to establish and to promote a platform and share to encourage several types of civic, cultural, religious educational associations. In an article by Arthur Paul Boer – What must a Pastor know? Reflection on Congregational studies defines on writer James Hopewell’s statement saying beyond the embarrassment. “He has also observed that churches are sometimes chagrined by the change of hypocrisy and lament that they cannot measure upto ideals of Christian community”. Writer James Hopewell referred by Arthur Paul Boer notes that Christian leaders are incharge and build a church thereby rise in hypocrites. I observe practically that, though the world is changing, church strategy is also changing in complementing the growth. It still targets the set mission. Even though, somewhere in the corner hypocrites do exist but church leaders aim to find out what is the outcome in the people from the traditional, theological and biblical practices.
Perhaps according my research, I suggest they experiment bringing out good approaches to youth’s growth. Instead of the current activities followed in churches I would want to suggest the approach can be focused to bring in the outcome irrespective to exploration and innovation of ideas and thoughts for internal and external behaviour of an individual related to the surroundings around him, deepening of commitments to the teaching, provide opportunities to analyse socially and theologically and viewing his life in a theological manner. To build a framework of an activity consist of – to have an experience “like us”, to sense new boundaries by exploring new links to every Christian among themselves and to god across social and cultural boundaries.
In addition, exploration and inventive programmes can be executed to judge youth’s spirituality. Daily opportunities resulting in disorientation gets support through mission of god. Integration conceptual activities also can help in building and to capture ‘a born leader’. Church leader serves them as task leaders in the corrosion and freeing the task of a disconnected mind by planning tactics and dividing the burden of other’s through consultation. As the purpose is commitment, to serve the lost, skill based leadership formation training programmes can be organized to develop an effective leader so as to sustain the capability and capacity of the leader to solve the complaints lies in the dimensions of the ability. Workshops on intersections to shape boundaries of an individual and communities through theological and biblical language, symbols, and rituals to attain certain centered objectives.
As growth of globalization is tremendous, these leaders come across and face new opportunities and challenges. I believe they help in building an integral performance in conducting entrepreneurial business-based activities, describing the activities because youth’s mind is business-oriented, therefore the activities are to be structured keeping business in mind involving biblical and theological approaches with the existing resources for a business oriented youth. They tend to produce facilitate management sources to sustain and develop faith and love. When the youth develops a church from within, he will be able to observe and analyse the holistic environment.
The activities require presence of not only church members but also worshippers for youth development in successful implementation of these practices. Some worshippers form in small groups, some large varied to race culture. Arthur Paul Boer also examines simultaneously that when a group of pastors were having service of congregation, one among them exclaimed in deep breath “It showed me I’m not alone”. So often in our churches we berate ourselves for problems we face: not enough men, too few youth, preponderance of a certain race or culture. He is clear with the fact that a single person fails, unity increases strength. We ourselves give birth to a problem and then strive hard to face it because as there are few leaders left to catch a grip to support a large community. Due to less number of youth, less support is achieved to sustain the laws and policies of the church and unable to accomplish god’s mission. It is not only one who contributes but many. Above mentioned statement “It showed me I’m not alone” expresses that each race and culture form their own group; build small churches for their own community within their own boundaries, where god expects togetherness, wholeness. It requires lot of efforts to help small churches grow whereas large church with mass contribution grows as their already exist efforts in large numbers which take over the chained actions for development. Whether single church group or many, big or small, the development is important.
On this contradiction, I would suggest that this also includes that in small group the development is paid more attention and given a close eye, problems are spotted quickly and easily to meet the challenges. No matter how large or small challenges occur, the way we approach it is unique and comprehensive as this brings out effects of development in the youth. Whereas in large it becomes difficult to assist as there are more than one individuals. Due to small groups according to races and culture, differentiation exists. But the important criterion is group commitment and work effort in all sets of practice for congregations in any race or culture for a healthy youth so that to accomplish god’s mission. As a result both objectives are co-related to each other.
To understand the nature of Christian youth it is a very distinguished and a unique phenomenon. Due to the increasing issues of ‘peer pressure’, this has led to the obstruction in the development of youth. There are negative as well as positive aspects of it. Negative aspects influence a weaker mind. It is the most consistent findings revealed in observation. Due to the inquisitive innocence, an innocent becomes a prey of the negative aspect, thereby exploited and develops an evil companionship where he adopts negative qualities and habits. But there is positive aspects as in there are some groups who work towards peer relationship. Here innocent gets an opportunity to identify his fear, weakness and have control over his own power. The peer mentors play the part in organizing programmes to understand the behaviour. They interact with the teens and open lines of communication, build up action plans to change the behaviour by using the discipline skills wherever necessary. As church members play an integrate role, it is a challenge for them to develop the youth and make Christian education reachable to them.
Teachers are responsible preachers. Youth growth depends on a teacher infact they are the true facilitators of our learning, are Baptist figures and true authors of an individual’s life book. They also act as the resource developer and planner setting the curriculum for the healthy growth of an individual, depending how the curriculum is designed with the kind and level of leadership skills to recognize the youth psychology. Parents play a significant role in Christian education. They are the promising leaders which shape up Christianity, infact are the real teachers of Christian education. Parents act as a moral standard and support, therefore can synchronize to their growing youth to be aware from their early hood to gain knowledge in Christian faith and this is done when they themselves too experience a fullness of church.
Misunderstandings and miscommunication between parents and their children are one of the issues which follow breakings in the development of the youth. Due to parent’s own principles, for respect and love of family values often creates harmness to the children’s growth which tempts them to behave against them. Thus youth becomes a totalitarian of his own life by going against the values and ethics and unknowingly gets stucked in the torturous situations. Most Christian youth, fail to act upon the 10 commandments of bible.
I must say, I myself as a youth in my real life experience have observed that the originality of the commandments has changed excessively and replaced with the following:
Thou must worship money
Thou must “lyrically” murder
Thou must have evil possession
Thou must have sex
Thou must enjoy drug addiction
Thou must prosper, worship own self
Thou must not feel guilty
Thou must have no respect for ancestral values
Thou must not serve, sacrifice
Thou must differentiate
Due to the above, youth fails to feel guilty in which guiltness is a part of our conscience creating a false belief system as an obstacle in his maturity and creating structure of his own. Under such circumstances he avoids promoting prayer, sacrifice, grace, redemption, worship and meditation, atonement. Considering money and sex are the only two things reliable to satisfy the needs, creating a limitation and a boundary for establishing personal spiritual growth and development.
In general terms, when the efforts of religious and educational institutions, society lack to perform the planned task for Christian education, a positive approach is expected and constructed to gain knowledge and teaching through parents and teachers. Youth must be aware of guiltiness which is a gift from god to help us in being and doing well.
Still the question is raised in a Journal: Volume 5 Number 4, October 2003 by Author Charlene Tan, “Can Christian teachers and parents teach Christian beliefs without indoctrinating their students and children?”
Yes, they can teach Christian beliefs without indoctrinating their students and children they need to be careful when a child is to be handled as their minds are immature. At times it is difficult to understand them because their way of thinking is varied. Firstly before going to the next process, the first process has to be resolved. As teachers and parents are the role models for the development. In order to develop and understand these three role models should be systematically developed first. Only by abiding this rule, they can achieve the development in child. But the point lies beneath that how teachers and parents can prove themselves as an effective source of development by keeping in mind the relative factor of Child’s mind compatibility and psychology? As there are variations in psychological behavior teachers and parents should be mentally prepared, be changeable and adjustment oriented accordingly.
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The political and current affair of the nation is affected by corruption and evilness rationally which gave birth to vivid factors like jealousy, modesty and so on, making human’s built a tendency to mislead the positive factors. The situations have made the teachers adapt those inequalities within them, affecting the surrounding factors. Parents have too due to their increasing self priority created barriers of understanding among their families.
Many people are often drawn towards the attention of the church because of their felt needs and not for spiritual needs.
For instance, it does occur that why the youth is tuned out of his own way? Even in their interaction with their own members it tends to happen with them that they fail to hear a word said to them – stating “I didn’t hear a word you said?”, even though it is obvious that they have said something relating to us. This proves a kind of negligence in contacting the positive mechanism which grows in the back of our minds. Such system blocks all the wanted and useful messages allowing us to hear and see only what our mind tells us to hear and believe. As this tendency is increased in the youth generation, it is creating gaps between a believer and faith of god.
The question is – How? How can we overcome this problem? Youth have themselves developed a capacity in mind to hear only what pleasures them without taking a decision that whether it is false or truth. My query is – How we can bring these groups of youth closer to god? Unconsciously resulting in unexpected calamities and unknowingly they are unable to repent it wisely. Due to this increasing factor, youth can’t get a grip of effective communication and develop themselves internally. Here the parents then enter the scene to play their role.

The main question lies whether the local churches fulfill and meet to mature disciples in Christian education?

As stated above, ‘youth’ are the most critical of all critics when it comes to religion. In this modern era, youth is distracted to church because they are building castles in air due to the unmaterialistic desire. Youth today have focused their vision to crave success and prosperity for their rising life graph; they exploit their own ones due to greed and selfishness. During the primary phase of struggle and hard work, youth craves to achieve prosperity, at the same time, do thank god and accept his involvement for success, but hand in hand, lack to follow the bibles ethics which says to respect others in and with unity. Due to the competition and growth politically, more often youth seem to push the fellow mates and strive to takeover their place. They themselves are unaware that they give birth to exploitation and inequality. And due to inequality, unity is declined, wherein bible does not specify inequality. In a book source, Pastor – “Rick Warren’ – illustrates in his book – The Purpose-Driven Church -“The issue is church health, not church growth!” declares warren. “if your church is healthy, growth will occur naturally. Healthy consistent growth is the result of balancing the five biblical purposes of the church.”
In addition to this he also declares that “If u concentrate on building people, God will build the church”.
I agree at a certain point with the above statement. I herewith would want to magnify on “How would one build a healthy youth for a healthy church”? In this sense I believe that both are co-related with each other. Again the issue arises in my mind ‘How will the church be healthy if the youth is unhealthy?’ The issue can’t be only concentrated on church. For a church to survive, the basic foundation is the youth and for the youth to be saved and attracted the church has to be healthy. In my knowledge it is a ‘Vicious Circle’.
Local churches upto some extent do specifically fulfill the discipleship through the practices and play a great emphasis in fulfilling and conveying the message of god to us, but still lack to read the minds and bring the youth closer to her, for which she has to upgrade her atmospheric appearance with new packages to reach the youth in a new taste due to the competitive modernism which is hovering on the youth.
The latter part can play the best part coz when first falls in place, everything else falls in place, from the beginning to the end, from all angles in all walks of life. Towards a healthy faith, healthy church can turn and seed a growth of spirituality through which mankind will grow spiritually from within thereby causing church growth.
Author Perry G. Down states in his book – “Teaching for spiritual growth” that ‘how can we best enable Christians to grow towards maturity?’ For this question he suggests three key concepts- ministry, believer, and purpose. But my understanding says that these concepts are incomplete somewhere to create a bond in reaching the results because today’s youth is attracted towards the unrealistic worldly matters, but has resulted in declination towards the god’s spiritual growth. The major role connecting these three concepts is commitment and effort. As the church ministry is the foundation pillar, the main aim is how much measure of commitment is valued and given to achieve the target successfully. Mankind is able to commit only when he chooses the right direction in fear and is able but this is unfortunate as the alien world tend to let us unidentify the type of strategies of growth for maturity. By identifying the type of strategies of growth, we can understand the level of growth required towards maturity at which we can be spiritual. Another reason for in growth is fear. As the youth fears to face unexpected problems, the efforts are less and require the hierarchy’s support.
Author Gary C. Newton stated in his book – “Going towards spiritual maturity” quotes the principle that “God is ultimately responsible for all spiritual growth”. The question arises at this point that if god is responsible for everything, what will be the purpose and role of human? I comment that while god supplies the resources like bible, church, Holy Spirit, baptism, it is also our responsibility to supply effort and commitment to utilize those resources and give results to god. In bible, Paul highlights this principle of his personal lifestyle and in his teachings comparing with the example of a soldier or athlete to illustrate the amount of sincerity and efforts. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27), Paul states that “In a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize”. I herewith conclude in a Christian race all runners (ministry, believers, purpose) will fail to get a prize if there is no effort that is commitment from everyone.
Along with the concept of ministry, believer, purpose; effort is also the key concept and it has to be achieved from the youth as well. A healthy youth will gain efforts only when the growth will favour them from within, when the forces of the ministry believers and youth will collide with each other to form a healthy growth.
This will create a mutual relationship between god’s provisional resources and our active involvement in process which is more clearly in Philippians 2:12-13: “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is god who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose”. This principle is intricate but the application is clear.
If one is to grow towards maturity in Christ then one must cultivate and demonstrate the efforts with passion, Philippians 2:17-18: ” But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you be glad and rejoice with me”.
Therefore the conclusion lies in the above concept, both; effort of the youth along with the work of ministry, believers proves in the healthiness of the church. In the book “Youth At Risk” by Peter Christian Olsen, 2003, he highlights four basic needs which he has clearly created an awareness of the effects that affects the development of youth:
Acceptance – belonging
New beginnings and second chances – forgiveness
Significance – generosity
Freedom – independence
I agree with his confirmation that he examines in deriving the above developmental needs from the provision of the Almighty’s resources as the absence of these needs do intentionally contribute in how they shape the personality, maturity, responsibility and stability of emotions. He emphasizes Christian community in respond to the needs determining that, the resources will be polishing youth through support during the fear and avoid them from destruction. At times the concepts will be foreign, indigestive for youth because unable to realize its importance. Rather the community need not re-interpret or change the language but simplify their thoughts and improve their visionary and understanding by change in structure through a friendly communication by becoming an effective leader to bridge the gap between the church and the youth. Therefore forces and efforts are needed for decision making which is an effective key in respond to ministry believer and purpose for a possibility of a healthy youth to build a healthy church, which will make the church flourish.

Supporting surveys

According to a survey, some findings proved that church fails to answer every question of the youth.

Q.1 In what way and sense is Christian religion, faith and church viewed by today’s modern youth?

Youth of today’s modern era is firm on the point stating that inspiration is lacked in religion; they feel that the world is divided through religion and is the major factor which is affecting the growth. A 17-year-old Jude from Kent says confidently that “He does not agree with the church who talks on subject morality” and is “Overfilled with traditionality”.
Youth pick their ideas which suit their taste through various religious beliefs. There are few in bunch who strongly believe, there exist only single religion which has controlled the truth. Young generation refer to perform all activities as per their own desire which in return less importance to the religious belief are being given, which gives birth to the side effects of the conduct.

Q.2 Why do young crowd feel that Christianity is not a ‘happening’ cultural activity?

An 18-year-old Marcus said that he left church when he was 15 because the teachings did not amuse him and it did not interest him of anything as a youth.
The major quest, a struggle for a religion is to impose an exertion of force of involvement in terms of attraction. I usually attend church service wherein I find young ones missing the services. I kept questioning myself that, where the young crowd has disappeared? Surprisingly the young ones have taken charge for the attendance of the church. In this consequence the church should give priority to change its curriculum and its way of presenting the services with new attractive packages for enhancement.

Q.3 Are the young preachers practicing different approaches in Christianity declining. What are your suggestions?

As the attendance of the youth in church has declined, but on the other hand people practicing approaches are increasing in numbers. The following is revealed through one of the youths that more the deepening are the studies of the bible, more a person becomes a hypocrite of the Christian leadership and unintentionally accepts and performs the lifestyle of the clergy right or wrong at times unknowingly. In such case, the practices are affected and become different from those which are to be precise. Seen are still some true Christian youngsters who are different in their attitude and conduct, but in spite of such difference, they are not involved into the immorality and violence activities with other youths. They present themselves as they are from a different unknown religion, but practice the religion and it

My friend 33F and her husband 34M have been together for 2 years now. Since last year, they have been in a long distance relationship since the wife goes to school in another state. She visits as much as she can but that is their current situation.
Long story short, the husband found himself in a “platonic” friendship with a female coworker who he hangs out with a lot (i.e. hiking together, eating out, texting and calling). The worst part is, that coworker has been to their home couple times and had slept over too.
The husband is adamant that nothing happened and that everything is purely platonic. He said he is not his type and will never be.
My friend is understandably upset, angry, hurting and everything in between. She told his family but not hers. She’s willing to reconcile and are actively doing so but she’s hurting so much. Do you think she should tell her family? She’s been crying to me and to her husband saying she wants her mom and dad but couldn’t go to them. We’re devout christians by the way so divorce is not the first choice.
EDIT 1: Without giving away too much info, the wife is going to school for a specific kind of course. Also, this was planned years beforehand - the course and the school. She will graduate next year.
As far as the husband goes, he didn’t tell her a thing about her sleeping over and all that. And when confronted, he actually deleted everything. Text messages, call logs, etc and said he just panicked.
To this day, he is adamant nothing happened between them physically and that he doesn’t see her that way.
Additionally, the wife had the chance to talk to the girl pretty early on. And the female coworker also said nothing happened between them and apologized for crossing the boundaries.
EDIT 2: A few background on what was done so far. The wife blocked the female coworker from his husband’s phone. But as of today, they are still working together. She installed a camera inside their home and they have tracking apps for both of them. They went to counseling maybe once or twice with a pastor and of course as Christians, she was encouraged to forgive him right away. She couldn’t. They were also told to seek therapy individually and the husband has not done his end of the bargain. Also, there are times when the husband would say “to get over it already since he didn’t do anything wrong” when she would try to go back to the scenarios and make sense of everything.
EDIT 3: Deleted or changed some of the info to avoid identification. Last thing I want to add, the husband is moving to a different job already in a few weeks.

Myrtle Beach SC News article dated May 15, 2024
Documents Invalid & A.I. Endorsement
FOR REDDITORS UNABLE TO OPEN LINKS
Mica Miller mental health documents not legally notarized
Members of Attorney Tom Winslow’s team sent us a statement that legal medical filings surrounding the Mica Miller mental health issues were not legally notarized.
Mica Miller died of what has been ruled a suicide at Lumber River State Park on April 27th. The FBI is now investigating the case.
Suicide Claims, Mica Miller Mental Health Records, And Notary Issues
Despite the fact Pastor JP Miller admitted from the pulpit to being suicidal in October 2023, just two months later JP was able to receive a health care power of attorney from Mica signed Dec. 5. Tom Winslow, of Winslow Law, was the attorney that orchestrated this legal filing.
Texts received by MyrtleBeachSC News show that Power of Attorney documents were supposedly signed by Mica Miller on December 4th at the Solid Rock church. However, those documents were not notarized by Winslow Law employees (Briyana and Tiffany) until the next day at Winslow’s law office.
According to the S.C. Secretary of State, a notary must be present at the actual signing of such documents to prevent fraud.
Two months later, according to the Myrtle Beach Police Department, Mica was “involuntarily hospitalized” on Feb. 8, 2024. But what makes the case even more odd is that JP’s power of attorney documents were not filed until March 20, 2024, despite having been signed and notarized three months prior.
Is Tom Winslow An Expert At Artificial Intelligence - Deep Fake Voice Audio?
Today, we report on Tom Winslow A.I. claims as he touts the importance of A.I. in his law practice. At the bottom of this article, readers can view terrifying texts sent out by J.P. Miller to Mica in November 2022.
We recently published that Pastor JP Miller, and his attorney, Tom Winslow were persons of interest in the Mica Miller “Suicide” FBI probe. Some readers questioned how we could report this with such confidence at that time.
We need to point out that Tom Winslow and JP Miller are not charged with any crimes, and even if they should be, they are considered innocent until proven guilty.
JP Millers Documented Sexual Encounters
According to DailyMail: “Miller’s first wife, Alison, filed for divorce in 2015 after discovering he was having an affair with Mica, who was 14 years his junior.” Alison also claimed that “Miller had an addiction to prostitutes and had ‘sexual encounters’ with underage girls.” She continued, “He had also confessed to me and other staff members of the church that he had sexual encounters with young females from the church, who were under the age of 16.”
The lawyer representing JP Miller in his first divorce case was S.C. State Representative Val Guest.
Mica's Statements About Suicide
Mica’s sister, Sierra Francis, said, “Mica stated to me on many occasions, ‘If I end up with a bullet in my head’, it was JP,” referring to her husband, John Paul Miller. In a written affidavit, Seirra writes, “I know my sister to have expressed the abuse and violence against her by her husband to others, including family members and members of the church congregation. My sister also expressed to me that she was fearful that she would not make it to the divorce and that her life would be taken from her.”
JP Miller Attorney Tom Winslow A.I Endorsement
In the video above, Tom Winslow touts that his law practice is an advocate for the use of Artificial Intelligence. Winslow makes it a part of his practice.
Winslow is a member of Solid Rock Church. His wife is part of the praise team.
Also, as we reported yesterday, Attorney Tom Winslow owns 200 acres of land that backs up to the state park area where Mica’s body was found.
All of this is circumstantial, at best, but it is also very curious.
*The Call Made By Mica At Lumber River State Park?
Mica wrote to her attorney: “Since the day we became husband and wife, I have been abused in every way I can think of. Emotionally, sexually, spiritually, financially and physically. He has harassed me physically and electronically with letters, phone calls, emails and texts, hacking my emails, hacking my personal Facebook and impersonating me. Using my stolen phone to send texts and emails out to church members pretending to be me, texting friends and family saying that I am sleeping with teenagers from our church, and showing up in person at places around town … to having installed three different tracking devices on my vehicle.”
MyrtleBeachSC News learned that JP was in possession of a mobile phone he had stolen from Mica. Anyone who has left an outgoing, “I am not available now” message on their phone, knows that a recorded version of her voice was likely on that mobile phone.
According to the Robeson County Sherriff, at 2:54 p.m., a 911 call was made from Lumber River State Park parking lot.
Miller is calm throughout the call, asking a dispatcher if her phone can be tracked. The operator asks for Miller’s phone number and location, and then why she was calling.
“I’m about to kill myself, and I just want my family to know where to find me,” she replies.
How Deep Fake A.I. Voice Works
Was the Tom Winslow A.I. knowledge put to use in this matter?
Audio Capture And Signal Processing
The first step in AI voice recognition is audio capture. This is where the spoken words are recorded.
The audio is then processed to remove any background noise. This ensures that the system can clearly hear the spoken words.
Signal processing also involves enhancing the quality of the audio. This makes it easier for the system to recognize the speech patterns.
Pattern Recognition And Machine Learning
Pattern recognition is the core of AI voice recognition. It’s the process of identifying the spoken words in the audio signal.
Machine learning plays a crucial role in this process. It helps the system learn and improve its ability to recognize speech patterns.
Over time, the system becomes more accurate. It learns to understand different accents, dialects, and even nuances in speech.
Real-World Examples Of Deep Fake A.I.
AI voice recognition is not a futuristic concept. It’s already a part of our daily lives.
You may have interacted with it without even realizing. It’s present in many devices and applications we use every day.
Miller Says Church Services Are As Usual
In a social media post yesterday, Miller states, “Solid Rock is alive and well and we are moving forward with our new building project. We are excited to see all members at our meeting May 19th at 5 p.m.
The FBI is just starting this investigation and no one knows where it will lead. The Tom Winslow A.I. practices may only prove to be circumstantial. The Mica Miller mental health records are sure to play a roll in this saga. Time will tell where this leads.
Question: Were Public Posts Like This One From JP Miller Abusive?
Miller, pastor at Solid Rock Church in Myrtle Beach, told his sister-in-law that he would be arriving at her house at 1 a.m. on November 17, 2022, where Mica was visiting.
After Sierra warned that he wouldn’t be allowed in their home, he challenged her, saying ‘you can call the cops’.
A few moments later, he replied: “I’m armed. I’m ready. Mica can fix all of this“, to which Sierra replied: “THIS doesn’t help anything. Threats and intimidation only make things worse.”
‘I don’t care (idc) Driving. I can’t text. Thanks.’ said the disgraced pastor.
In response, Miller replied, “Hahaha” when told cops wouldn’t be called if he stayed home.

I just feel that he was stalking her and she was pushing back. He threatened and followed through with the threat. Apologized and said he 'wanted to hurt her' 'it was evil'.
He is pastoring, actively pastoring, is the teaching, sermon giving, lead pastor at this time.
She wants to leave. Just leave and get away.
He actively airs his/her personal business in his sermons. Actively accusing her of things. This is full blown spousal abuse.
He has multiple affairs. And is actively womanizing?
Does he actually own that bar? Has anyone mentioned that?
Anyway, the fact that, she went to this river to end her life DOES NOT work for me. Because he said, he was 'TRYING TO STOP HER FROM GETTING A GUN'. But it appears she WASNT suicidal! That was gaslighting!
Then, I will mention, my friends mom, in a manic episode, drove several hours to end her life with an overdose. At a place that she loved, that was beautiful, with many happy memories, unfortunately.
So this does not make sense to me from the manic standpoint.
And he was shown possibly on drugs. She mentioned:
Forced to take illicit drugs. Told Divorce is evil Forced physical and sexual abuse
She wanted divorce and ended up dead.

This is something I've been dealing with for awhile now, and it is only getting worse as my mom gets older. I'll have to give you a little bit of background information so you get the full context of the situation. In no way is the post bashing religion or any individual's personal beliefs.
My mom is a very religious woman who has been a Christian her whole life. She went to Catholic school for a time when she was younger, and she even had some problems there because Catholicism and Christianity don't line up exactly. I don't recall her ever mentioning going to church with her family when she was younger, but their family was a Christian family. When my mom married my dad, she became Presbyterian and from a young age, I recall going to the Presbyterian church with my family, a church I had no problems with. When my parents divorced, we stopped going to that church and my uncle got my mom to come to the Baptist church. Here's where the problems begin.
For one thing, I was terrified of this church from the first time we went. This was so different from the Presbyterian church. The Baptist preacher screamed and yelled at the pulpit, said you were going to hell for this thing and that, talked about how the devil had a hand in our lives that we didn't even realize (like telling lies, not going to church, being late to church, working too much etc). I was still really young and impressionable, and I was also young enough that I could get away with staying in the nursery for most of the sermons. So any chance I got, I was in the nursery because I was afraid. But sometimes, the nursery wasn't available, or the nursery lady wasn't there, or my mom would make me come in with her or the pastor would have all the kids come to the sermons anyway.
My mom went any time she could to this church, but since the divorce, she had to work a lot more, so we couldn't always make it. She had 2 kids to support. But that didn't stop the pastor from having conversations with her about how the devil was making her work when she should be at church. And my mom took this pretty seriously. So she tried to be there as much as possible. I won't get into how bad the church actually got, because this is about how my mom makes me anxious.
My mom would often reference things the pastor said in church. And she'd often be talking to me when she did so. And soon it would evolve into talking about the rapture or 'end of times. ' As she's gotten older is gotten worse and this is a topic that makes me especially anxious. She says she just wants me to 'be prepared' and stuff. Since her diagnosis of kidney disease, it's escalated even more. Every event, every storm is a sign of the end times now and she tells me all about it. I've tried over and over to tell her how much anxiety it causes me to talk about the end of the world, but she gets mad at me for either saying 'she's not allowed to talk about what's on her mind' or that I'm 'burying my head in the sand.' We can never agree on a neutral topic to talk about, because the only other thing she wants to talk about is politics, which I hate. I'm 32 years old now and she's still trying to tell me what to do; go to church, read my Bible, get rid of your Halloween decorations (i love Halloween and have them up year round, they make me happy) become a nurse, go back to school, etc. I know some of it is just regular mom shit, but why is my mom obsessed with the end of the world? How do I tell her to stop this one and for all? I love her and I need her in my life, but I need my actual mom, not this fearmongerer.

CW for suicide
I don’t know if any of you have been following the Mica Miller case out of Myrtle Beach. She recently died from an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound two days after filing for divorce from her husband who was fourteen years older than her and who was her youth pastor when she was in high school. He is the head pastor of their church.
It appeared to be a pretty open and shut case, but there are all these weird factors involved. Such as:
She alleged in police reports that he’d been grooming her as a teenager
She had filed a restraining order against him
He had made threatening calls to her and to her family
He has her involuntarily committed for psychiatric care in Feb against her will. It’s unclear why, but her family is alleging that he lied and forged documents to have this happen
He placed trackers in her vehicle and hacked her phone. He posted nude photos of her on her fb account and then removed them after an hour
She said she was purchasing the gun that was later used to end her life for self-protection from him
The FBI may or may not be getting involved in the case (local police say yes, FBI is getting involved, family of Mica says they are not as of yet). This may be in relation to financial crimes committed at the church.
Bottom line - this case is a huge mess and I don’t know what to think of it. I was convinced this was her own doing, but the more I see, the more I’m not sure. On the other hand, not sure how much info is accurate, either. There have been some solid news stories about the case that include much of the info I’ve written about here, but there’s a whole brigade of people speculating on Reddit and TikTok. Not sure how much of what they’re saying (allegations not included here) is real, so I’m discounting it for now.
I’d love to know some of your takes on this! I’d love to know Alice and Brett’s, too, but I’m assuming they won’t touch this one until and unless more comes out that points to foul play (I think at this point, they’d probably say it was self-inflicted based on evidence, namely that there is video evidence of her purchasing a gun and, most compellingly, a 911 call from right before from Micas phone telling the operator that she was going to unalive herself).