I apologize, the reason this is so long is because 1.) I suck at summarizing 2.) backstory of some sort is needed to understand this excuse of a man and/or human being. 3.) I’m not a good storyteller, but you are, Charlotte, and I know you can take this mess of info and turn it into a beautiful, long-time-coming, petty revenge story for your channel. Because what is more petty than an herbal, flowery Trojan horse no one knows about?
Cast: OP-me Swister- my older sister Mom - mine and my sister’s mom, grandmother to Trish/Patty BIL- exactly who it says, and a huge butthole. Patty/Trish - the same person, a four year old little girl, product of union between BIL and Swister.
Some (bit rambling to explain some stuff) backstory:
Last winter, to get out of the horrible, freezing, painfully striking sleet (it would not pass over our town, was just there, stuck in a vortex, for what seemed like eternity) of January in our hometown (we were always just a couple degrees away from it being snow, and quite a few times we got lots of hail, some as big as softballs, and could damage cars and punch through windshields, etc. I know this sounds like ‘The Long Winter’ by Laura Ingalls Wilder, but both me and my mom (I’m disabled and have to live with someone to help in every day life, I’m not a high school dropout living in mommy’s basement playing fortnight or assassin’s creed and have memorized cheat codes. The only video games I’ve ever played were duck hunt, which my grandpa actually got for himself bc he loved to hunt, so I only got to play it in turns with my five other cousins when we visited him); and N64’s Zelda:Ocarina of Time. I hope those titles illustrate for you the last time I played a video game. Oh! And the Oregon Trail, but I always died of some disease that doesn’t happen today or is curable with fluids, rest, and maybe some penicillin. But I digress.) but both me and my mom and my older sister (who was pregnant at the time) and BIL moved about 15 minutes down a little used two lane highway. And when my niece was born late 2019, we named her Patricia after my grandmother. (Patty or Trish for short).
My BIL claims he can smell everything ten times better than any other human, ‘probably because I’m an Alpha Male, and I need heightened senses to protect my pack, my family.’ Okay, I won’t deny he is sensitive to scent, but if his food doesn’t come out smelling right (almost always made special order bc of his ‘allergies’ (that’s what he tells the waitress; in reality, he just doesn’t want stuff he doesn’t like on his plate, and is too fucking lazy to just take the single pickle chip off the McDonald’s cheeseburger. If half of America can do it, why not him? ‘I might smell and taste it with my superhuman olfactory senses.’ He said with a very sincere, serious tone and face, like I was in special education and couldn’t understand it was 1,2,3, not 1,3,2. He is an arrogant misogynistic asshole. My sister could have done sooooooo much better. Idk y she chose him to marry (for a general idea of all what he looks like, speaks like, and sounds like (minus the slight lisp) is the video of the ‘dating coach’ who took the video in his car, opening it with ‘you do not have to accept her rejection, say things like I’m the best, why wouldn’t you want me, you should see my basement with ropes and pulleys and hooks, and do you know what a did with her that night? Well, it’s not appropriate to talk about on this platform”… yeah, that guy, except for the lisp, could be my BIL IDENTICAL twin. Anyway, now you know BIL is a creepy, asshole, bastard with no sense of boundaries or personal space, who think women are lesser than him. Moving on.
I also suffer from anxiety, insomnia, and a few other things that require me to take meds that can slow down your breathing, so if I can take care of my pain, anxiety, and insomnia without having to take a narcotic or benzo, and it works, I choose that path first. Some of these ways are ice packs, heating pads, a special herbal tea, aromatherapy, yoga, sleeping surrounded by pillows like I were in a nest, making sure to do a little bit of some exercise and always taking my daily walks (I don’t want the pain to get so bad from being sedentary I will require a wheelchair before I absolutely have to) and don’t always want to be popping clonapen or oxy or morphine all day and falling asleep, especially around my niece. I don’t want her to ever believe pills fix problems.
So to escape the horrible winter in our new home environment, my mom decided to use her saved-up reward points and book us all a ten day trip to Disney Aulani Hawaii, specifically Disney bc of my niece. My mom and I had been there before, in 2020, right when resorts opened back up at much less than capacity because of COVID rules, and we had gone for a week, so I knew they had an awesome spa I could spend my saved vacation money on.
The minute we step into our two bedroom, two full bath (each with both a shower and separate tubs!), an ok sized but capable kitchen, and a nice, big, comfy furniture filled common room/living room. All of my stuff I put in the room I’d be sharing with my mom, then took my niece to go and get her first Shirley Temple (they are a virgin cocktail I have loved as a kid, still do, that are super easy to make the ghetto way - diet 7up (diet taste better in the cocktail, idk why, it just the way the Gods have decreed it so), grenadine, and maraschino cherries (as many as you want, but kids usually get two and adults one. I think this is unfair) and tada! You have a Shirley Temple.
So I’m walking back to the room, both of us holding our reusable drink cups for our stay (if you bring the cup with you, you get any non alcoholic drink for free during your stay. Coolcool.) And I open the door and hear my mom and sister begging BIL to just stop it, let it go, just enjoy the ten days here. BIL is in MY room, going through MY things, yelling at mom and sis to leave him alone, he has to find it, it reeks, etc. I’m like, GTFO of my stuff, this is extremely violating, sister, are you not concerned and pissed he is pawing through my bra and panties right now, ‘looking for hidden pockets’?
Finally, he grabs this 15 or 20 mL vial I have, a pain relieving roll on I use for my migraines and tension headaches, about $55 after tax, not including S&H. I had left my almost empty one at home, and this was a brand new vial, safety wrapping still on. He blames me, said I was trying to ruin ‘his hard earned vacation’ (he has no job, only looks after my niece enough to feed her (most of the time) and my sister had to find a high -enough paying job so she could work from home so she could do every job like she were a single mother. The only chore he does, and only like 65% of the time (they love to eat out and/or order in) is cooking, and as much as I hate him, sometimes his dishes are good. Not phenomenal, like he practically requires everyone to praise it as, even if he just added sage basil and oregano to a frozen pizza.
So I ask, “how the hell can you smell that? There is the outer plastic seal and the inner lid seal?” And he goes off on being an Alpha Males and olfactory nonsense. Then he takes the vial and runs out of the room with it. He takes it to a housekeeping services cart several doors down and spikes I into her trash can, which by the thunk sound the vial made told me not only was her trash nearly or almost nearly empty, and that he had broken and wasted a valuable medical tool because he is batshit crazy and doesn’t see me as a person outside of how I interact with his everyday life, like I’m a NPC who doesn’t exist or say anything until a real person player comes into my field of awareness. He pawed through every item I owned, including underwear and opening my tampons one to sniff (I especially bought no scented for this trip, and he went and ruined a whole box of them (I’m not putting a previously opened and practically stuck up my BIL’s nose tampons! It’s not just unsanitary, it’s gross on so many levels! I also save up what little money I have leftover from my SSDI monthly checks, so over several months, I had saved up to buy that, bc it worked where others just smelled good but didn’t take the tension headache or migraine away. He has never had to pay for things with his own money, so has no concept of it, of saving money, of worth.
I stewed and stewed and I knew I had to be as petty as possible and still not get caught. I was still thinking these thoughts on our third to last day while I got an unusual massage at the Aulani spa. First is usual deep tissue massage, but then they rub your back and skin with tingly oils and take what looks like the contents of a bag of tea (very heady and fragrant in that small room) and rub it all over you, wrap you up for 15 min, scrape it off you, also taking excess body oil and dead skin cells with it as it goes. And then, smelling all those wonderful scents, I had a genius thought. As she scraped the herbs and stuff off my skin into a bowl, I asked for a to go bag for the herbs, and pretended I wanted to put them in a foot bath I was giving myself tonight in my room. Shockingly, they agreed, and gave me all the scrapings, herbs, essential &body oils, and dead skin cells, in a linen drawstring bag they said I could just toss the whole bag into the hot water.
Now, when I travel, I always pack duct tape in my checked baggage. To make sure shampoo, conditioner, lotion, stuff like that, wet and messy? So it will stay in the bottle with the top duct taped both on shut and to the top of the bottle. Nobody was in the room; they were taking a hike my physical disabilities made very challenging (like an 7-8/10 for me, and a 3.4.5/10 for them) over broken terrain and off trail a bit to climb to a waterfall, so I had said ‘I’m going to the spa. Peace!’ So nobody was back from the hike yet, but I had no idea when they would be, so I acted fast. I grabbed my duct tape and went into sister and BIL’s room and squished and squiggled my way as far under the bed as I could, an duct taped the linen bag of herbs and scrapings right under where he would lay his head to rest at night (according to his ‘Alpha Wolf’ status, he was always on the side of the bed between the door and the rest of his collectables in his room.
We had that day, two more days, and three nights left. BIL did not sleep a wink during that entire time - he had housekeeping change the bedding (including duvets and their covers) several times in that small frame of time, and demanded of my mom to rent him (on my moms dime, not this 40 y o mans money, the mooching leach, but her carefully budgeted money and visa card points hoarded over years.) his own, just perfectly sanitized room, obviously something had been left here by a former guest that was rotting. Finally, FINALLY my mom and sister had HAD IT. He whined and moaned more than my four yo niece. They finally ripped him a new one, saying he had been acting like an entitled baby man with delusions he is more important than he is, that we as women should fawn over him, and that he had already ruined all of ours, but especially my vacation by tossing my personal property and screaming at me for wearing perfume when I didn't even pack any. At one point I even piped up, ‘I didn’t put up with my father treating me like this, what makes you think I’m gonna take it from you?’ (AN/OP: my father abused me and mom and sister our whole lives. Lots of verbal, emotional, psychological abuse. Sister had it pretty literally; mom had it worst. But when my dad had 100% custody of me at beginning of divorce, my sister went away to college and moved out within the following two weeks, and I was his sole remaining target. For three years straight. Other, even more horrible disgusting things he did to me I’ve only just started to talk about, and don’t want my whole life blasted online while I deal.
So i got my silent, sweet-smelling revenge. For those 3 days and 3 nights, he didn't sleep a wink, which meant he couldn't keep his 'good guy' image up, and everyone saw how he treats me, and I'm no longer a liaexaggerating. I hope some act of God, or him driving around while completely wasted, as he does every single freaking day. He a waste of space, a waste of oxygen.
Again, the reason this is so long is because 1.) I suck at summarizing 2.) backstory of some sort was needed 3.) I’m not a good storyteller, but you are, Charlotte, and I know you can take this mess of info and turn it into a beautiful, long-time-coming, petty revenge story for your channel. Because what is more petty than an herbal, flowery Trojan horse type thing?
PS: he never did repay me for the OVER $300 worth of MY STUFF he upped and just tossed, or first broke then tossed, because it either offended his nose or him, personally, even though he begrudgingly promised to do so, and my sister promised he would. I only had like a 10% belief he would, but he has no money of his own, how was he gonna do that? Yes, I admit, I keep a record of anything I hear about him doing something negative, so one day if my sister even starts to consider divorce, I can whip out journal/notebook and show her his patterns, and he has always been this way, and he won’t ever change.

I was doing research for another post about the slayer of lies vision being about false dragons available here if curious and while doing so I reencountered one of my favorite jokes in the series. I'm not sure how well-known it is because it is an across-the-chapter joke separated by 30 chapters in ADWD. It is not only very funny, but also demonstrative of the intelligence of the two characters and plot-relevant (they are visions, after all).

"Someone told me that the night is dark and full of terrors. What do you see in those flames?"
"Dragons," Moqorro said in the Common Tongue of Westeros. He spoke it very well, with hardly a trace of accent. No doubt that was one reason the high priest Benerro had chosen him to bring the faith of R'hllor to Daenerys Targaryen. "Dragons old and young, true and false, bright and dark. And you. A small man with a big shadow, snarling in the midst of all."
"Snarling? An amiable fellow like me?" Tyrion was almost flattered. And no doubt that is just what he intends. Every fool loves to hear that he's important. "Perhaps it was Penny you saw. We're almost of a size. (Tyrion VIII, ADWD)

30 chapters later...

"Take care, priest," Victarion warned him. "There are godly men aboard this ship who would tear out your tongue for speaking such blasphemies. Your red god will have his due, I swear it. My word is iron. Ask any of my men."
The black priest bowed his head. "There is no need. The Lord of Light has shown me your worth, lord Captain. Every night in my fires I glimpse the glory that awaits you."
Those words pleased Victarion Greyjoy mightily, as he told the dusky woman that night. "My brother Balon was a great man," he said, "but I shall do what he could not. The Iron Islands shall be free again, and the Old Way will return. Even Dagon could not do that." Almost a hundred years had passed since Dagon Greyjoy sat the Seastone Chair, but the ironborn still told tales of his raids and battles. In Dagon's day a weak king sat the Iron Throne, his rheumy eyes fixed across the narrow sea where bastards and exiles plotted rebellion. So forth from Pyke Lord Dagon sailed, to make the Sunset Sea his own. "He bearded the lion in his den and tied the direwolf's tail in knots, but even Dagon could not defeat the dragons. But I shall make the dragon queen mine own. She will share my bed and bear me many mighty sons." (Victarion I, ADWD)

I dearly hope Victarion and Tyrion interact in TWOW!

I was taking a read on the Four Guardians and especially Yamashita Yoshitsugu which lead me to the list of fifteen judan in Kodokan. Shoriki Matsutaro caught my eye as I knew him as being imprisoned for Class A war crimes, although he was released later. So I decided to search up more about him and other than a passing mention about him being a judoka, I found more on him being a politician, media mogul, policeman, and even baseball.
What were his achievements within judo that earned him tenth dan? Considering the list is filled with legends like Yamashita (one of the Shitenno), Mifune (God of Judo), Isogai (kosen legend), and even Daigo (Kodokan Judo Throwing Techniques) to use a more modern entry, I’m really curious on what Matsutaro’s judo was like.
PS. I am not interested in his politics or war crimes or any of that, rather just his judo career and accolades.

So I got this…acquaintance of mine. I’m ftm 13, he/they, and she is so weird. She’ll use my preferred name and pronouns which is good, but she’s also a hugely conservative Christian and hates lesbians and gays alongside trans people. So, for my field trip for school I had to room with girls, but since I pass well, my friends are no longer comfortable rooming with me since we’d have to be 2 to a bed. So instead we have the option of an extra conjoining room that only has one bed. This snob, completely out of the blue after SHE asked us about our rooming situation, says “oh I wouldn’t mind rooming either Casey since he’s technically a girl.” I told her that “well you weren’t rooming with us anyways. And also we’d be sharing a bed, which I wouldn’t be comfortable with. Also, I’m like twice your size.” (Maybe not the case but it’s pretty close to the truth, she’s kinda tiny, and I work out and bind) and then she says “no you’re not.” She also says I’m going to hell for being trans and that I can’t defy biology. She also kinda harasses me and says stuff like “oh he’s totally into me” and when I’m looking at something on my phone “he’s cheating on me.” What a weirdo.

Its been 3 months, around 20 failed interviews, 2 offers and alot of time spent catching up with the FE game, just thought its time to share my experience and help some out.
Screening round: Be clear of what you did before, your past employers/projects/teams size, team structure. Show your value (system design, tech stack decision, best features you implemented, planning, coaching, etc...) Prepare the Challenge/Most difficult problem kind of questions. HR might not understand how good you are at Typescript juggling but they want to at least understand you can communicate well with the people waiting for you on your next round. They dont want to introduce someone who cant speak clearly or apprehensive. It annoys their manager and is bad for their year end review.
Technical questions: Ok I will try to go into most FE related stuff now
JS: events loop, async, DOM manipulation are must learn!
React: Some old timer did come up so at least read about them: pure component, HOC. Then the usual stuff: hooks, memo, best practices (props passing instead of local state, components over props, explicit state over variants). Know your side effect, DOM tree, when does React rerender, why state shouldnt be overused. State management: Redux, zustand, react query, contextAPI. What to choose, when to choose.
Vue, NextJS: Similar to React questions, but expect to give comparision between these and React. Especially if you are asked about Next, then be prepared to talk about folder structure, file based routing, and of course SSR and server actions, why data fetching with server is faster than client side fetch. Hydration, invalidation, error boundary.
Testing/Reporting/Web Vitals: Unit test with Jest is NOT enough. You are expected to explain through the entire testing stack: Catching bugs, unit test, integration test, CSS test. Some toolings like Sentry/GCP/Sonarqube are expected too. Know your Chrome dev tool well too especially the network tab (!) waterfall, fetch, response, header etc... Have an opinion about when to unit test vs e2e
Webpack/Optimization Not usual to hear about Webpack anymore but still you should know what it does with your JS files, bundling, treeshaking, dependencies map, code splitting, polyfill...
Deploy Even if its the job of the dev ops guy in your team, you should still at least understand the build/deploy process, dockerizing an app, the content inside .yml files. They will ask questions like when do you perform test in your pipeline, release process, dev/prod environments, how API keys are stored on cloud... Dont get caught off guard!
Micro-frontend/Cloud: These started slowly leaking into the job of a FE dev about 3-4 years ago but now they are asked almost everytime. If you never worked with micro-front end before, use shadcn/ui for example or at least know that its very common for company to have multiple React projects (UI kit v1, UI kit v2, Form kit, client app, legacy app, etc...) and they want you to be comfortable with develop them in parallel. Also learn the basic of deploying on Vercel or AWS to not raise any red flag of a knowledge void.
If you sign up for senior position, prepare to talk about coaching, short term long term planning, change request management, stake holder expectation.
NOT once I was tested about Tyepscript eventho this is one of the toughest shit to deal with in real projects.
Live coding: Leetcode is inevitable. If your lucky, they will ask one or two questions such: how to filter duplicates in an array. You need to practice this and if you dont know where to start, udemy, youtube has some pretty good courses. At the end you should learn by heart to solve the most common problems: Anagram, String Frequency, Two Sum, Remove Duplicate... And at the very least you can tell the interviewer the approach into problem solving (2 pointers, sliding window, divide conquer..) and explain big O. Most of the time, interviewer dont require you to solve problems with good efficiency. So nested for loops or built in JS functions are totally ok.
Take home assigment: One thing that isnt asked or mention in the earlier rounds but always come up in take homes is working with API API API API!!! I have to really stretch this because it might or might not burn you. The commons tasks will be: Connect to the company or some third party API, fetch data, do some data transformation, build some decent UI for the data. If you get the generic stuff like MockJSON, TMDB then you are lucky. There could be trickier stuff like Notion, Stripe, Spotify that requires auth and quite some data transform then it might take you alot of time. Depending how familiar you are with it. My advice: Have your own node server boilerplate ready. Better yet just use NextJS for both server and client. Use at least one state management package (zustand or react-query is fine) Practice setting these up by building smaller Next app (auth, fetch, folder[slug], routing) so when the time comes you can execute it fast. Never ever overlook UI and responsive design. I fucked one up when I built all features perfectly but didnt make the UI to spec like their requirement. One more tip: Once you submit your assignment to github and time is up, as long as you dont hear any feedback from the company, keep improving the app and merge the changes. Make it perfect if you can!
For the rest: Know your taxes and rate. Prompt ChatGPT to prepare you for anything you are unsure about. Its especially good at solving, giving direction in leetcode questions once you already understand the basic. Good luck!

I (f 30) am the youngest of two. My older sister (f 36) lives in the same state but a few hours away. She never came home after college because she was in a relationship. When we were younger she was a total mother's girlie girl and I was a daddy's girl. With that dynamic you can conclude that me and mom (f 55) weren't very close back then. When my sister went to college and it was just me and mom, we clashed all the time. I couldn't wait to go to college and be free. Unlike my sister, when i graduated from college I went back home and lived with my mom. While in school she found out she had cancer and I realized how important she was to me, during the summer I would take care of her. I became super protective because my dad (m 60) had died the second part of my freshman year. I guess realizing you only get one dad and mom did something to me and our relationship changed. Strangely, while in college I transformed into a girlie girl with all female roommates that treated me like a toy by dressing me up and taking me to parties. So, when I came home I started working right away. Had some messy relationships and crappy jobs, but my mom always supported me. From what I seen my mom and sister were still close, even with the distance. When Shawn would come home her and mom hung out, sometimes she would stay with us, sometimes not but they talked often. Note, I don't know if it was the age difference or what but me and my sister never got along. Somewhere in my 20's I realized that we were never going to be "those sisters" and called it for what it was. We are blood, but not friends, and I know if we weren't related we would never befriends on purpose. Don't get me wrong, I love her and if Shawn was hurt or in trouble I would help her but for now, for my mom's sake I talk to her on major holiday's and important family matters, but not to just catch up or anything. I honestly don't care. Sadly, if other family member didn't ask "how is your sister", I could probably go years without thinking about her. Anyways, it started off slow, like Shawn would come to town not stay with us, then she would come to town and not reach out until she was leaving, and then we wouldn't know she was in town at all unless she called my grandmother or posted something on social media in a familiar place. It was weird because they would always link up. Shawn loves mom's cooking and would come home just for that. Mom would go visit her and go to work events with Shawn, at the last one mom said they got into an argument because she was tired from driving 5 hours, going to the event without a nap and being on her feet all night. After the event mom just wanted to go back to Shawn's apartment and rest, but there was an after party she wanted to go to. Not wanted to go to the after party mom just wanted her to walk her back to the apartment and then Shawn could go. Shawn wanted mom to go with her and said they wouldn't be there long, but mom was tired. She was trying to convince her that she would only stay for 30 minutes, but we both know when Shawn is in a room she will talk to everyone and 30 minutes could turn into 3 hours real quick. When mom put her foot down and asked her to take her home Shawn got upset and started yelling "this is mom's side of the story", you never want to do anything, ugh, why can't you just have fun, ugh..... She said Shawn was just yelling her on the corner of the street while people were walking. Shawn stays in town where a lot of people walk and everything is close by. Then she agreed to walk mom back but walked super fast and mom couldn't keep up. She is shorter than me and my sister. When they got back, she let mom in, changed her shoes and went back out. When mom came home and told me what happened I was so confused. It isn't like them to argue. I guess you can say this was the beginning of the end. Shawn stopped calling her as often, went out of the country and said nothing about it until the day of. There were just a lot of things she was doing without communicating with mom, it came to a head when our phone plan bill went up 100's of dollars. See, the bill is in Shawn's name but mom pays the bill, well she use to until Shawn got an iPhone and added the cost of the phone to the bill. Mom and I have Samsung's. She did this without telling mom and because the bill was automated it took mom while to notice. When she did, she told Shawn to start paying the bill for the portion of the phone itself. She agreed but wouldn't pay it on times, there were times that my phone was off but didn't notice because I was always near wifi. Somewhere in the middle of this she got another iPhone and the bill went again. Shawn didn't know that just because she got another phone didn't mean she wouldn't have to pay off the other one. They went back and forth on the phone one day arguing, Shawn claiming she paid and mom asking her to go through the payment history and tell her where...... the arguing ended when she started yelling at mom, saying "you're triggering me, you're triggering me" my mom just stared into the phone in disbelief... We're black and raised in a very much black household so for those who know, know those are words that we just don't say..... Well that was last week and this past weekend was mothers day and Shawn didn't call mom.... We have a family group chat of about 23 people and she said it there but not directly to mom or sent a card or anything.... I asked her the Thursday before if she would be sending mom something on mother's because we usually work together to get her something or she send me money and I get her something and Shawn will send a card. But nothing. She didn't even call our grandmother.... I went to my boyfriends house after then mother's day dinner at my grandmother's house, where I stay most weekends and while there she called me. Mom calls when she says things are too much to text. bet she went home and found a package with a 15 pound weight in it and a note saying "I hope your mother's day brought you some joy",.... Um what??? I want someone to tell me why she picked this as a mother's day gift.... and just one ... one 15 pound weight, not a set. Mom works out but already has a set for 5,10,15, and 20 pounds weight that I know Shawn knows she has. Mom was really sad and she isn't the super emotional one of us 3, the emotional one is me. If there is one thing I hate is my mom feeling bad, but then for it to be caused by her own child was different. Shawn NEVER answers the phone like NEVER, I had to tell her our dad passed away via text after calling almost 100 times. Mom sounded like she wanted to cry and just kept asking me " Brit, what did I do wrong, I don't know what I did wrong". Dang, that broke me. Now I'm the bigger of the two of us, and my sister knows me well enough that she don't want these problems so instead for even calling I sent a long text, basically saying I was disappointed to call her my sister and she should be ashamed of how she is treating our mother because when she got fired and unemployment wasn't paying enough to cover her bill's mom paid. Shawn never paid her back. Over all she is one of the most selfish people I know. I just asked her how hard is it to say happy mother's day or send a card. I didn't expect a response, but she did, in only 15 minutes. She said " I appreciate your concern and believe me, this runs much deeper than a phone bill. I don't have the same relationship with mom as you. You only know what you experienced and what happened to you. So, I'm not going to try and explain the various dynamics between mom and I that led to where we are now. It maybe hard for you to understand today. Pls don't blame it all on me. I love you. " I don't even know what that means. I responded something like other than physical, emotional, or mental harm i don't know what could have happened so bad that she couldn't call and say happy mothers day though. I can't imagine my mom doing any of those things. but again she gave some therapy like response and asked me to give her time to heal.... Mom has no clue what various dynamics she is talking about. I'm asking for advice because I feel like she is going down the same path she did with our dad. After our parents marriage ended and we were living with dad, mom still came over 3 times a week and cooked, had us on weekends. It was like she never left the only difference was she didn't sleep at home. When the arrangement changed, dad came 2 weekends in a row. then every other weekend, then once a month, then we were lucky if we saw him at all. It broke my heart in high school when a boy in my class told me to tell my dad that he would be late for practice. I was confused and bugged him all day to explain what he meant. I found out that my dad was coaching baseball across the street from our subdivision about 3 times a week with games on the weekend. So, he could see random boys at my school almost everyday for at least 3 hours and couldn't come over before or after to see his own kids? I actual walked over to the park one day because I refused to believe it, but there he was. We never talked about it. I just started walking there and sitting in the dugout to be near him and he would drive me the 2 minutes back home. All of the players lived in our neighborhood and dad had a flat bed so he would drop them off too. When Shawn graduated high school she never talked to our dad again after that day. She never told me why. He also developed cancer while I was in college and was very sick, when he got better he tried to get back in our lives and I let him in mine, called him on holidays but he did some messed up stuff to me my first year of college so I pushed back a little between that dad would call me and tell me to call my sister on 3 way, if she answered she was forced to talk to him. She wouldn't say much and would always say she was busy or had to do something to do and promise she would call him back and never would. So, now .... as part of my trying to figure out what my mom did, I reminded her how she cried when she found out our dad passed and she just kept saying she thought she had more time and who would walk her down the ail when she gets married and never got a chance to fix things. I would hate for that to happen with our mom too. I know because of our relationship once mom passes away we will most likely not talk or see each other ever again. So, I asking what did my mom do to her? What can I do to help fix this or should I even try? Anyone have any suggestions or ideas, also sorry for the typos or misspelled words or if its hard to follow, but I ask for anyone's input if they have experience this type of situation? Side note, idk if this helps but when Shawn came to town the last few times she stayed with our Aunt Carla. She has baby of the family syndrome, where she thinks she had hard but was actually spoiled rotten and believes all her sisters and brother and their wives are jealous of her. It's total BS but once when mom and I weren't getting along and I stayed with her, she told me some crazy stories about mom sleeping around, getting drunk, trying to fight her and someone else and some other stuff. This was when I was in college and I believed what she said mom and I continued to be on the outs for awhile before I found out about her cancer and became her protector and caregiver for a while. I don't believe those stories so much now be her and mom had issues before, Carla has actually had issues with all her siblings at one point and finds the need to the the main character of her own story and everyone else's. Simply she's a "One Upper". Aunt Carla getting in Shawn's ear is one idea I believe, also Shawn's friend have ummmmm "other people problems" like mellow dramatic soap opera drama and she maybe internalizing their issues. But yeah help, where do I go from here?

I just passed 3 months last Thursday. I was reflecting about them and thought I’d post here.
Basically, this story starts in 2017 when I (at the time 315 lb 49 F) had a health challenge and changed to a low carb unprocessed (also no sugar no grains ) way of eating. I went from 315 lbs at five foot one to about 203 and then maintained that loss for about three years before the effects of plateau and regain started. Over the next 6 years I regained about thirty pounds which is a miracle considering any other time I’d lost weight, I regained it all and more in months not years.
I educated myself and realized that since only about 2% of people can maintain a weight loss of 10% of their body weight for a year because of the body defence of the higher weight. Hormones make people think they are hungry and need to eat more so they don’t starve to death even though they aren’t starving. These concepts are ones that appear in peer reviewed literature from several sources so I’m not making it up.
While I was a unicorn because I was able to maintain for several years, I believe because with the low carb unprocessed diet, I wasn’t also having high/low blood sugar - this is my theory based on a discussion with a dietician that told me a theory about some people and how they don’t have to be actually hypoglycaemic to have the effects of it ( ie. eating compulsively to bring up sugars). Still, the odds were greatly against me maintaining this loss. When I started experience difficulties in reversing little weight gains, I asked for a referral to a bariatric clinic so I could try things other than lifestyle changes.
Bariatric assessment process wasn’t good for me but in the end it was established that I’m not a good candidate for drugs, there was no point to optifast since I’d already made drastic lifestyle changes, and that my options were probably regain and surgery.
Since I had not screwed up my lifestyle changes, but was battling my body trying to get me to eat more, surgery became the obvious answer.
I was warned that I might not lose much more weight than the amount I’d regained since that amount represents almost thirty percent loss from my former top weight.
Now I’m 56 and post menopause. I was ok with this as long as I was able to maintain my loss more easily. I did not relish the idea of aging as a three hundred plus pound short woman ( getting shorter). I don’t need to be skinny either. I honestly don’t care at this point about my body size since even with my regain my mobility wasn’t hampered and my chronic health issues stayed resolved. Honestly , I haven’t even really noticed my weight loss in any meaningful way because I was already living better. I believe the meaning of health at any size means this. My body size only matters to the extent that I think it does and that includes that I don’t have to be a size zero to be healthier.
I had RNY surgery three months ago. Weight loss has been relatively slow but I’m happy to say that despite some small hitches like throwing up in the early days and low hemoglobin post surgically which has since resolved.
I was completely grossed out by protein supplements so the two weeks following surgery were tough. My surgeon encouraged me to eat according to textures ( which isn’t what the handbook says).
I had no pain after the day of surgery, or since . Things are going pretty well. I’d hoped to have more of a hormonal change to regulate appetite but despite feeling overfilled constantly, I’m losing weight, hitting protein goals with real food and the learning curve is getting less steep. My pre-surgery weight was 232 and this morning I was 194 so obviously it’s working for weight loss. I’m not under any illusion that this has been a perfect solution, but I’m happy to have my stress level lowered daily since my desire to eat is much curved and even if I want to eat, the threat of puking keeps me in line.
Weird things since:
As an Orthodox Jew who keeps kosher I’m having weird cravings for nonkosher foods which includes seafood ( which I’m allergic to!).
I hadn’t eaten sugar or artificially sweetened foods in almost 12 years and now I’m craving keto type sweets which I know affect my cravings. I’m not saying I’m indulging regularly but it’s odd to have the cravings.
Chicken strongly disagrees with me while red meats and lamb don’t.
I was mostly carnivorous prior but I often choose non-meat protein food items more now. I don’t really like beans but the other day I told my husband if he made a chickpea curry I’d eat it. BIZARRE. I am 100% getting all my protein in but beans are higher in carbs which worries me because my original health crisis seven years ago was diabetes related and I’ve been sub-clinical for 6 years. For me, I don’t actually believe in the concept of moderation so it’s disconcerting to say the least.
What’s really interesting is my general disinterest in food and eating. I know I have to eat and I know I have to prioritize protein. I have cravings regularly but ultimately I mostly eat to fill the hunger and don’t much care what as long as it fits the ‘get your protein in first’ model. In the end, since I don’t eat grains or other sweet things, this ultimately ends up looking like a diet of primarily animal protein, with vegetables and a bit of fruit thrown in. I’ve eaten a couple of keto protein bars but it’s not regularly.
For context, I used to be a serious foodie and a food professional and when I went low carb I cared much less. As long as my food was delicious and low carb and I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t care. Since surgery, some of the things i really enjoyed low carb have become sort of icky to me so I’m constantly revisiting what I like and don’t like. It’s a process 🤷🏻‍♀️.
Anyway, I have lots of homework to do ( one of the changes that happened seven years ago when my chronic health issues resolved, was my doctor suggested I go to nursing school) so I’m going to sign off but I wanted to share that though this is an imperfect process, it is one which I’m not sorry to have gone through. I sort of regret not doing it 20 years ago but on the other hand I guess I would not have been mentally ready had I done it much sooner than my health crisis, subsequent sustained weight loss and then learning how obesity actually works. On the other hand, I’m glad I was confident in my new lifestyle before I did it because i understood on a gut level what that meant.
If you read this far, thanks. Feel free to AMA.
Starting Weight 2017 was 315 Surgery weight was 232 ( Feb 2024) CW 194 GW- don’t really have one. I guess it was 203 since I was told I might not lose more than I regained.

I passed my CBT and theory last month and got my bike recently, but the helmet I wanted wasn't available in my size in my local store, so was being delivered still. This worked out okay as I went for a couple hours more training with my instructor 2 days ago, as I passed my CBT on a 50cc and needed some time to get used to gears.
This turned out as great timing and I was really feeling ready after this lesson, however I was aware the Honda we used was way shorter and lighter than my bike waiting for me at home.
Anyway I took it out today and felt abit touch and go with downshifting and coming to a stop for a turning or junction. I'm okay most of the time with taking off and upshifting and cornering feels natural, but I got quite nervous after riding around my area for 15 minutes and needed to pull over. I got back on and road home as it was absolutely boiling and I feel abit overwhelmed taking busier routes. Thought I was okay until I had to back my bike into my parking space, which is slightly downhill and requires going back over a small curb
Turns out I didn't have the strength or momentum to shuffle it back up the curb whilst sat on it, but when I attempted it stood next to the bike, I ended up bouncing off the curb and dropping the bike....
Gunna try again tomorrow but feeling anxious about parking every time. Knowing everyone's out on their bikes today in the sun whilst I feel I cant escape my estate is frustrating haha

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i know certain features like breast size are genetic. but there’s absolutely no way i’m seeing people who started much more masculine than my wife, being able to pass after 1 or two years when she’s been on HRT for almost 5. she’s so tired and i’m so scared of losing her and idk what to do. what are we missing here.

Mikan has a habit of pondering many things while waiting for her mother to use the restroom. It is not aimless daydreaming, but rather akin to how some people would keep different books by their bedside, toilet, and office. Mikan always use this time to think about light but continuous things. Typically, she'd spend three to five minutes, with the first minute warming up, recalling where she left off in the book from the last time, then staring at her nails, progressing her thoughts bit by bit.
She developed this habit during her first visit to the zoo. That spring, she graduated from kindergarten, and before leaving the house, her mother was in front of the mirror, adjusting Mikan’s elementary school uniform. The zoo was on a seaside cliff, connected to the foot of the mountain by a narrow path lined with cherry blossoms. Children of all ages sat on the steps, waiting for a gust of wind to blow so they could shout for their mothers to take pictures. Mikan buried her head and walked up, thinking the others were childish. At that time, her father was still young; his neck had not yet thickened, and his eyelids had not drooped. When they left, she asked her mother who the strange uncle was, the one who knew so much about giraffes. She couldn’t remember how her mother answered, but she remembered seeing a kitten lying on the hillside, showing its belly to the sunset, making her exclaim "wow" to the cherry blossoms. From that day on, one weekend a month, she would go to the zoo with her mother to meet her father. During the time her mother was in the restroom, Mikan used it to think about the kitten. She had imagined raising three kittens: the first was tortoiseshell, then an orange one like her surname, and the latest was another tortoiseshell. Each cat lived for twelve years, and she thought about the world and herself thirty-six years later.
She didn’t always think about cats. Occasionally, when she didn’t go with her mother, she would talk with her classmates about how they envied the animals in the zoo, like gorillas and hyenas. Although there were no lions or tigers, there were lynxes. They looked so ugly, walking on all fours all their lives, but they were lucky to live by the sea and enjoy the sea breeze for a lifetime. The crude boys in her class would retort, saying, "Yeah, yeah, they can even poop directly into the sea."
After graduation, she never saw that boy again. All the boys would go to Tokyo when they were young; that was the rule. Only when they were old and decrepit would they be reluctantly sent back by the younger ones. But she often thought about that classmate. By the time she raised her third cat, he might have come back. When she saw the sea again, the image of a smooth butt hanging over the cliff came to mind. When she got into Waseda University, she told her mother that she might consider marrying that classmate.
When Mikan was little, she secretly asked her father how he fell in love with her mother. The primate area always had a strange smell, between animal and human. Her mother didn’t like the smell, standing five meters away near the door for ventilation (they couldn’t go further in because they were not allowed to meet outside the guardian’s sight; that was the rule). She didn’t remember what her father said, but she remembered pressing her hand against the glass, with an orangutan looking at her disdainfully. She felt like she was the one being watched. But her father must have said something, without hesitation, as if talking about a daily matter. It was too mundane, overshadowed by the contemptuous orangutan in her memory.
Influenced by her mother, Mikan also didn’t like the smell of the primate area. It wasn’t that it was unpleasant; it was like touching the residual warmth of someone who just left their seat, the mixed smell of decaying wood and butter in old temples, awkward and cautious. The only chance she almost had to be alone with that classmate was during a field trip. Both happened to be lingering at the entrance of the primate area. Mikan was there first, then the boy appeared behind her, peeking around. The introduction at the entrance had been scanned five or six times. Inside, the darkness reminded Mikan of the anteater’s mouth she had just seen. The boy asked, “Are you afraid to go in?” Mikan replied, “Of course not.” The boy retorted, “Coward, the teacher said not to wander off; you definitely won’t dare.” Mikan suddenly felt annoyed and walked in. When she reached the orangutan’s window and looked back, the boy had already disappeared. Mikan thought, childish.
One summer, a cat sneaked into the zoo and was brutally tortured by baboons before being killed. Mikan learned about it from the morning paper, crumbs scattered on it. The front page was about US-Japan trade friction, followed by news about Tokyo, Syria, obituaries, nuclear, and the next Olympics’ sailing event being held on the local beach. The news was arranged from far to near, and finally, in the middle column, she saw this news.
"Such a pity, so sad, so heartbreaking, so infuriating." She inhaled deeply and exhaled.
She didn’t know what this incident meant for the townspeople. Didn’t the middle column mean it was unimportant? She didn’t understand, but the townspeople seemed outraged, eventually passing a resolution to lower the male zoo supervision age to fourteen. The next day, this proposal moved to the front page, although not the headline, it stood alongside news from the US and Europe.
But this wasn’t a distant matter for her. Recently, she had joined the baseball team because that boy also loved baseball. At a celebration party, when discussing future high schools, he talked eagerly about a famous school in Tokyo, jokingly preparing for life there. Everyone laughed at this joke.
The front-page news explained the lawmakers' logic: due to men’s violence and animalistic nature, our country decided to confine men in zoos years ago, something we have always been proud of. Over the years, many outstanding women have joined the country to restrain their husbands' potential harm to the world. But our solution isn’t perfect. When does a child become a man? The radicals believe it’s at adulthood, at twenty, the legal marriage age. Conservatives argue that maleness is in the chromosomes and should be separated at the hospital. The incident with the baboons harming the cat further proves the harm of violence and animality to civilization. We should be more cautious and responsible. Thus, in our town, the second sex characteristic is used as the basis for identifying males.
This event was written into textbooks, leading to significant zoo renovations. Besides old mothers bringing their children to see their fathers, the zoo now provided spaces for the new generation of women to date their boyfriends in the park. For the town’s zoo, this room added at the end of the primate area, with rain hitting the iron roof, animal calls (and conversations from the men’s park) and the sound of waves hitting the cliffs, seemed far from a suitable place for romance. Mikan had never been there.
She never saw that boy again, though he didn’t play baseball. He likely lived the life he joked about, pooping off the cliff.
When her mother came out of the restroom, Mikan was imagining holding the tortoiseshell cat that had just died. She remembered her father saying that the zoo’s most famous animal was a giraffe, but it was a specimen, transported from Tokyo Zoo, always standing in the most conspicuous place. He saw it every morning as if it were still alive. She asked if he would become a specimen too, but she couldn’t remember his answer (she always remembered her questions but not others’ answers).

Graded Phillies cards Abel/crawford
Crawford PSA 10 192/199 and Abel PSA 9 03/25 both are pop 1’s. Looking to sell or trade hit me up if you interested

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Hello, I had an MA on Wednesday when I took the misoprostol pills. On that day, I was bleeding a lot and cramping and passed some clots. Fast forward, I still have some light bleeding and light cramping. On Friday, I started feeling sick like I would get a fever but my temp never actually went up to 100. Last night, I had really bad congestion, runny nose, muscle ache, swollen lymph nodes, and it was hurting to swallow, and yellow nasal discharge/phlegm. I went to the urgent care this morning to get checked and tested negative for strep throat and doctor said it could be a viral infection. I was not prescribed any antibiotics and was told to take over the counter medication to manage the symptoms. I am just wondering if what I’m feeling could be any way related to my medical abortion. I am worried that I could have an infection or an incomplete abortion and this is how my body is reacting to it. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Has anyone ever experienced something like this.

I took a pregnancy test Thursday morning at 6am. It was positive. I called planned parenthood and scheduled an appointment same day for noon. Had an ultrasound and found out I was barely 5 weeks. No fetus just an egg sac. Took the first pill at about 1:30pm in office Thursday.. No cramps, no bleeding or anything from the in office pill. I inserted the 4 other pills vaginally on Saturday at noon. About 20 minutes in a started having very mild cramps. About 2 hours in I started bleeding quite a bit. It’s now almost noon the next day and my bleeding is lighter than a regular period. I’ve passed no clots at all and have had barely any cramping. I feel like this was way too easy?? I’m worried my MA was not successful :(

(Posting on my sister's account - with her permission - as I seldom use Facebook).
My grandfather passed away this year and I've inherited his house in western Sydney (Kings Langley area). House is old and in need of repairs, but on a decent sized block of 720sqm. I own my house in Quaker's Hill, with a small mortgage of 100k left. I earn roughly $250k per year. My fiancee is currently renting and on 65-75k per year. She is self-employed and has an autoimmune disease, meaning she will likely never be able to work full time again. However, she has managed to save up about 230k in cash and 70k in super. I have 150k in super. I also have around 200k in cash. She works in healthcare whilst I work in I.T. I mostly work from home with the 1x a week trip into the city. She works 2 days in Eastern Suburbs and 1 day in Parramatta. She is happy commuting a further distance by train.
We would like to purchase a house together soon. To buy somewhere more desirable, we would need to sell both my properties. People are saying we should keep one property as an investment, but this means we won't be able to afford a house in a more convenient or desirable area.
I think the issue is we now have more options and are uncertain which option is the best one. We seem to have a lot of combined assets, but it doesn't get you very far in Sydney (e.g., to buy a house in Castle Hill of 2.5 to 3 million, we would still need to sell both my properties, dump all our savings in, and potentially STILL have a mortgage left...it is ludicrous...how are people surviving in this city?!). Also, do you think it is worth doing some reno's on an old house prior to selling it?

I’m on day 139 of my never ending period. I’ve literally bled every day of 2024. This happened before in 2023 and I bled for 133 days. Some days are manageable but out of no where I’ll get clots the size of my palm, or clots so big they literally push my tampon out of me. For several weeks I would be going through ultra tampons, wearing heavy period underwear every 30min-1 hour.
I’m very anemic and have hashimotos/hypothyroid. I’m so tired all the time, my back constantly hurts and I can’t do anything fun with my friends anymore because I’m so scared of bleeding thru all of the sudden.
My doctors keep sending me to see a different specialist who just tell me it’s a symptom of pcos and thyroid issues.
It’s affecting my quality of life, I’m unable to walk or work without massive pain, not to mention no sex like ( I’m 25 )… this cannot be normal. My gyno isn’t available for 2-3 months.
Have you experienced anything like this? I’d like suggestions, commiseration, to hear your story or fellow rants about how awful the American healthcare system is for people with a woman’s body.

It was half past nine when my shift at the diner ended. It’s not any place specifically you’d know, though you’d be forgiven for confusing it for a Waffle House given the abundance of cheap, greasy food and drunk clientele. The only thing distinguishing our location was that our doors closed at ten.
It was a cold night in October. The winds felt out of place for the fall season with the sharp way they bit into my skin. Usually, the low temperatures in Grant tended to hover around the mid-fifties. Tonight felt particularly frigid even bundled up in the warm confines of my jacket.
I hurried through the lot outside the diner, passing by several vehicles. When I made it to my car at the far end, I was quick to put the key in the ignition.
My car was a special edition Subaru Legacy. The only thing special about it was that it was only by the grace of God that my radiator and engine were still operational given the car was a little over two decades old.
When you turn the key, the engine would knock. My father said it was indicative of worn-out bearings. Could be an engine getting ready to declare sayonara before it crapped out one final time and departed for car heaven or perhaps car hell given its rough condition.
I knew little about that though; all I knew was that as a poor college student I was having a difficult enough time as is scrambling to make ends meet with a part time job at a diner. Regardless, whatever the solution, the answer involved money. Money I, notably, didn’t have.
The smart thing to do would be to purchase another used car; though in this economy that sort of thing is far easier said than done.
An even harder task than figuring out the financing for a replacement vehicle was getting this stubborn thing to turn. The engine threatened to exhibit life but would stop short of properly starting.
It was about the fifth round when my engine found the energy to fight the good fight on this frigid night. The engine knocked fiercely, reverberating inside the hood for a few seconds before the noise steadied itself.
I sighed in relief and backed out of my parking spot in the back of the lot.
As I left, I couldn’t help but notice something out of the corner of my eye. A man, a very rugged specimen of the male sex adorning a blue baseball cap and a grizzly beard, was approaching my vehicle at a brisk pace. Where I was the only one stationed at the back of the lot, it seemed odd he was coming my way.
I turned my head to acknowledge him. That’s when he began to break out into a full-on run.
My heart raced almost as fast as my car. I slammed the pedal down and sped out of the lot, the tires screeched loudly along the pavement as I veered to a sharp right.
​
I was lucky the road didn’t carry heavy traffic around this time of night. Where my eyes were focused on him, I was damn near lucky I hadn’t plowed directly into someone.
I sped along the highway and tried to rationalize why this lumberjack looking fellow had charged me. News reports of human trafficking came to mind, but it wasn’t really anything you heard much about in a place as remote as Grant Alabama.
For crying out loud, we physically were so remote one of the miniature cities within Grant was called Bucksnort. We were about as far from the Big Apple, or any real semblance of civilization, one could get.
After a minute of driving, I slowed down, especially when I heard something in the engine rattle. This car wasn’t designed for no races or wild chases. Not with the amount of age it carried.
Besides, I was alone. Safe.
At least that’s what I thought before I heard the blaring of a truck horn. An eighteen-wheeler was coming up behind me. Given I was the only other soul visible on this lonely two lane stretch of highway, it was clear they were honking at me.
I prayed to God and kept moving.
The big rig followed closely. We went down the road for two miles when suddenly my vision was obscured in a bright light.
The trucker was flashing his high beams. I could barely see when he hit me with them. I nearly swerved off the road when he did it.
After a few seconds the mounted flood lights on his vehicle relented and the blinding rays ceased their assault on my eyes.
I moved my car to the right lane to let him pass. He had no intention of doing so. His signal made that clear when he merged behind me.
Drops of rain began to pour from the sky lightly tapping my windshield.
Plop…plop, plop…plop.
My car didn’t handle well with slick roads. Fortunately, I wasn’t too far from home. Maybe another seven miles.
The fiery orange glow flooded the cabin of my car and I yelped.
I fumbled in my purse. One hand on the wheel, one digging desperately for my phone. With my visibility being periodically robbed, I was already a hazard on the road. Might as well risk compounding the issue if it meant I could get in contact with the police.
When the high beams vanished, I managed to pull out my phone and dial 911.
​
The operator answered after two rings. “911, what’s your emergency?” The man that answered the call sounded bored out of his mind, like he’d rather be anywhere else on a Saturday night.
I didn’t care if he was bored, entertained, playing with himself. As long as he could send someone out that’s all I cared about in the end.
“There’s a maniac tailgating me,” I said.
The operator’s voice clipped. Though from what I could understand of the roboticized sound coming out from his end of the line, I could tell from his tone he remained unenthused. “Ma’am, you’ve called an emergency line.”
​
“Y-you don’t understand! I was leaving work and this man started chasing me. I-I think he’s trying to hurt me.”
The operator fell silent for a few seconds. For a moment, between the rainy weather and the flaky signal, I thought I’d lost him. His voice reemerged seconds later. “Where are you?”
I rattled off the highway number I was driving on and told him my home address.
“I’ll get an officer dispatched in the area. ETA should be around ten minutes.”
Ten minutes. Six hundred seconds. Toss whatever metric you wanted to use to measure it out, with that big rig riding close behind me and the driver intermittently blinding me when they felt like getting their rocks off, it might as well have spanned an eternity. I was going to be lucky I didn’t crash into a guardrail or land myself in a ditch.
“Make that around fifteen minutes,” the operator clarified, his crackled voice twisting the knife deeper into me with his update.
I made the turn off the two-lane highway. I didn’t signal when I did it. I was hoping the sudden movement would have had my unwanted friend in the big rig blow past me.
“Ma’am?”
For a moment, I believed it worked. No more blinding lights. The only sound was the operator fishing for a response and the pitter patter of rain on my windshield.
My sigh of relief became a choking noise lodged inside my throat as I saw the eighteen-wheeler backing up. It didn’t turn on a dime, but he was moving fast enough.
The road up ahead winded with hairpin curves. I didn’t know how long I’d have until those lights were upon me. Till he was upon me.
The phone clicked and the call abruptly ended.
I cursed under my breath while my engine knocked like an irate person trying to beat down a door. My Subaru was rapidly approaching its limit. I had to think fast.
These were my options: I could risk speeding and hoped the engine would hold out till I made it to the house, or I could continue driving at a steady pace. If the first option proved successful, he might not see where my vehicle would vanish. If it didn’t, my car might leave me stranded. That’s assuming I didn’t wreck myself taking a turn too fast.
The other option would be safer, but I’d be visible to him. Though with some of these curves I feared if he hit me with the high beams again, I’d be at risk of crashing. Where the area of road ascended, one wrong turn would mean a long journey down.
It would mean certain death.
Taking a sharp intake of breath, I pulled out my phone and called my husband. The only answer I got was his voicemail urging me to leave a message at the tone.
“Billy, there’s a lunatic after me. I’ve called the cops. Please…please be ready. I’m only two minutes away.”
It wasn’t the most inspiring call to action. My husband wasn’t Billy Badass. He was more like Billy the Stamp Collector. Benign hobbies. Soft spoken. Wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Still, I was counting on his presence to deter Mr. High Beams behind me. It was a desperate ploy, but it was all I could think of on such short notice.
I made the turn into the dirt trail that led to my driveway. As I was pulling in the porch light flickered to life. Maybe. It might have been those high beams. They illuminated my cab in a flood of light once more obscuring my vision.
The door to the house opened and a figure ran out of the entryway. My husband from what I could discern of the silhouette. Our dog Jasper, a black schnauzer with more bark than bite, darted out the door. I couldn’t see the little guy, but I heard him.
I stopped the car and shoved open the door. I bolted out of the seat, nearly tripping over my own feet with my frantic departure.
Jasper started barking up a storm, even before the big rig came to a standstill.
The door of it opened and the bearded man stepped out of the vehicle.
Strangely, my dog paid the trucker little mind. Jasper’s eyes remained fixated on my Subaru. He began to snarl.
“Get away from the car,” the man bellowed. He pulled out a gun and pointed it at an angle, almost like he was aiming at my vehicle.
Was this how my life was going to end? Shot dead when I was at the finish line, where I was supposed to be safe?
My husband Billy babbled. “S-sir, please. You don’t have to do this.”
The trucker shook his head. As he did, the sound of sirens began to blare in the distance. He didn’t answer us. Instead, he lowered his gun into his holster and stood still as a statue all while my dog continued snarling and barking at our vehicle.
When the police came, guns drawn, he remained calm.
“I’m not the one you want,” he said. “The car. Search the car.”
Even to this day, I still remember in vivid detail what happened. When the police opened the rear driver door, there was a gaunt looking man back there crouched in the floorboard with a knife clenched in his hand. The wide, manic look lingering in his eyes remained far colder than the frigid winds blowing around us.
The trucker explained later that he saw the man inside my vehicle wielding the blade. He must’ve snuck inside before my shift ended. Once the driver realized what was going on, he’d tried to intervene.
Every time the person in the backseat had attempted to overpower me, to harm me, the trucker turned on his high beams. It scared my unknown passenger. The sight of the light made him hide.
The police hadn’t offered much in the way of details concerning who my stowaway was; given the six inches worth of blade he held, not much imagination was needed to map out what the strange man planned to do to me.
I learned on that cold, lonely October night to never judge a situation wholly by appearances. I was grateful to that truck driver. If it weren’t for his persistence, I would probably not be alive today to share my story.

Exploring Laravel's Email Attachment Capabilities

When it comes to web development, especially in the PHP ecosystem, Laravel stands out for its elegant syntax, robust features, and a thriving community. Among its wide array of features, email handling is particularly noteworthy. Laravel simplifies the process of sending emails, supporting various drivers and providing a clean, fluent API for mail construction. This includes attaching files to emails, a common requirement for applications that need to send reports, receipts, or any documents generated on-the-fly. However, developers often face challenges when they need to attach files that aren't stored on disk but are generated in memory.
This is where Laravel's ability to attach raw data as files to emails shines. By leveraging this functionality, developers can dynamically create files in memory—be it PDFs, images, or plain text files—without the need to save them to a temporary location before sending. This approach not only streamlines the workflow but also enhances the application's performance and security. Understanding how to implement this feature effectively can significantly impact the functionality of your web application, making it more efficient and user-friendly.

Command	Description
Mail::send()	Sends an email using Laravel's mailing system.
attachData()	Attaches a raw data file to the email.
mime()	Specifies the MIME type of the attached file.

Diving Deeper into Laravel's Email Attachments

Laravel's mail system, built on top of the popular SwiftMailer library, provides a rich set of functionalities for email sending, including support for attachments, queues, and event listeners. When dealing with attachments, especially files generated in memory, Laravel offers a streamlined approach that bypasses the need for temporary files, which can be a significant advantage in terms of performance and security. This is particularly useful for applications that generate reports, invoices, or other documents on-the-fly based on user data or real-time information. The ability to attach these directly from memory to an email streamlines the process, reducing disk I/O and the potential exposure of sensitive information by not having to store the files on the filesystem.
Moreover, Laravel's flexible mail system allows for the customization of the email's appearance and content through the use of Mailable classes. These classes can encapsulate the logic for sending an email, including attachments, within a clean, reusable API. Developers can define their mail composition logic, including view files for the email body, inline attachments, and attachment data from memory, in a structured and maintainable manner. This approach not only makes the codebase cleaner but also enhances the overall developer experience by providing a clear and concise way to manage email functionalities within a Laravel application. Embracing these capabilities can significantly elevate the quality and functionality of web applications, making them more efficient and user-friendly.

How to Attach In-Memory Files to Emails in Laravel

PHP with Laravel Framework

to($data['email'], $data['name'])->subject('Your Report'); $message->attachData($pdf->output(), 'report.pdf', [ 'mime' => 'application/pdf', ]); }); 

Advanced Techniques in Laravel Email Attachments

Integrating advanced email functionalities within Laravel applications, specifically attaching in-memory files, not only enhances the app's capability but also presents a seamless user experience. Laravel, with its straightforward and robust mail features, allows developers to create and send complex emails, including those with attachments created on-the-fly. This feature is incredibly beneficial for applications that generate personalized content for each user, such as customized reports or invoices. By utilizing Laravel's ability to attach raw data directly from memory, developers can significantly reduce the application's disk usage and improve its performance. The process eliminates the need for temporary storage of files, thereby enhancing the application's efficiency and security by minimizing potential vulnerabilities associated with file storage.
The versatility of Laravel's mailing system extends beyond just attaching files. It encompasses a comprehensive suite of features that support a wide range of email-related functionalities, including queueing mail for background sending, event-driven mail notifications, and the ability to customize emails through Mailable classes. This holistic approach ensures that Laravel developers can maintain a high level of control over email sending and management within their applications, making it a highly desirable framework for modern web development. As such, mastering the intricacies of Laravel's mail system, particularly the attachment of in-memory files, is an invaluable skill set for developers aiming to build robust, feature-rich web applications.

FAQs on Laravel Email Attachments

1. Question: Can Laravel attach files to emails without saving them to disk first?
2. Answer: Yes, Laravel can attach files directly from memory using the attachData() method, eliminating the need to save files to disk.
3. Question: How do I specify the MIME type of an attached file in Laravel?
4. Answer: You can specify the MIME type by passing it as an option to the attachData() method within the mail sending function.
5. Question: Is it possible to queue emails with attachments in Laravel?
6. Answer: Yes, Laravel allows you to queue emails with attachments to improve performance and user experience by offloading the email sending process.
7. Question: Can I use Laravel to send emails with attachments in a background job?
8. Answer: Absolutely, by leveraging Laravel's queue system, you can send emails with attachments in background jobs, thus non-blocking the main application flow.
9. Question: How can I attach a dynamically generated PDF to an email in Laravel?
10. Answer: You can generate the PDF in memory using a package like DomPDF or Snappy, and attach it using the attachData() method by passing the PDF's raw data and specifying its MIME type.
11. Question: Are there any limitations on the size of attachments when sending emails with Laravel?
12. Answer: While Laravel itself does not impose specific limits, the underlying email server or service provider may have restrictions on attachment sizes.
13. Question: How do I ensure that email attachments sent with Laravel are secure?
14. Answer: Ensure that any sensitive data generated in-memory for attachments is properly encrypted and that you use secure connections (SSL/TLS) for email transmission.
15. Question: Can I attach multiple files to an email in Laravel?
16. Answer: Yes, you can attach multiple files by calling the attachData() method multiple times within the same email sending function.
17. Question: How does Laravel handle MIME type detection for email attachments?
18. Answer: Laravel relies on the provided MIME type when using attachData(). It's up to the developer to correctly specify the MIME type based on the content of the attachment.

Wrapping Up Laravel's Email Attachment Features

As we've explored, Laravel's sophisticated email handling capabilities, particularly its support for attaching in-memory files, present a significant advantage for developers looking to build efficient and secure web applications. This functionality not only reduces the need for temporary file storage but also streamlines the process of sending personalized content, offering a seamless experience for both developers and end-users. By leveraging these features, along with Laravel's comprehensive suite of email-related functionalities, developers can create more dynamic, responsive, and user-friendly applications. Understanding and implementing these techniques effectively can greatly enhance the quality of web applications, making Laravel an even more powerful tool in the arsenal of modern web development.
https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/laravel/attaching-in-memory-files-with-laravel-s-email-functionality

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Emperor Karl V reacted to the Jiajing Emperor's invitation to bring tribute the way Mendoza had predicted he would: indifference. He was only vaguely aware of the fact Spain was in an undeclared war with China, and had only heard about the Battle of Acapulco in passing. Sending diplomats to present tribute to and grovel before the monarch of some Asian country wasn't in his wheelhouse—and he would've been even less interested if he knew that his diplomats would be meeting with one of the emperor's ministers rather than the emperor himself. Meanwhile, Antonio de Mendoza went to take up the viceregal office of Peru, where he soon caught his death of an unspecified illness.
Nevertheless, the agreement between Wei Chengjia and Bai Guguan held. Bai stopped sponsoring pirates. The NSS purchased more silver than needed, selling the excess off to Wei. Wei then sold it at cost to Bai, who sent it to China. Convoluted as it was, this system succeeded at keeping the peace.
Or at least, at keeping the peace between Xinguo and Mexico. All the pirates Bai Guguan had been sponsoring didn't simply go home: they'd gained an appetite for silk, silver, and other luxury goods. With their sponsorship dried up, they went into business for themselves. Wokou raids were now hitting the coasts of Xinguo with rapidly increasing frequency. New forts were built to repel them. Wei and Bai even agreed to a joint fortification of the Jaw, the strait that connects the open ocean to the Bay at the centre of the Valley where North and South provinces border each other. They built the Teeth forts, one on the northern tip of the Jaw and the other on the south. These were successful at keeping pirates out of the Bay itself, but they did little to dissuade attacks on the outlying coastal settlements.
What followed was the Anti-Piracy War (1553 – 1569), during which the Nine Anti-Piracy Expeditions invaded the Wokou's home territory far, far to the north in an attempt to rescue hostages and punish the pirates for their impudence.The geography of the region is difficult with choppy seas that constantly threaten to dash your ships on the many islands, and the innumerable bays and inlets not only make it easy to get lost, they provide perfect cover for ambushes.
That, however, is another story for another time. To put a long story short, the results were less than stellar for Xinguo. The most charismatic of the Wokou leaders was killed in the Battle of the Jaw (1569), and his followers fell into infighting. This enabled Xinguo to play the various factions off each other to the point where they were too distracted fighting other pirate gangs to launch any more major raids on Xinguo. Although the raids never ceased entirely, this was considered to be the end of the Anti-Piracy War.
Meanwhile, an undeclared peace settled over the undeclared war between China and Spain. With that, the Xinguans and Mexicans slowly became more familiar with each other, learned more about each other, and strengthened their economic ties. Ningbo was flourishing under the Treasure Fleet's attention. NSS merchants would buy silk, porcelain, tea, spices from the Indies, and other goods from Asia and bring them to Acapulco, where they traded for silver, cocoa, tobacco, spices from Mexico, and other goods.
However, Spanish merchants began to grow dissatisfied with this arrangement. Figuring they could get the same goods for a lower price if they went to the source, Spanish merchants began showing up in Ningbo with cargo holds full of New World goods to trade with the Treasure Fleet directly. NSS merchants immediately complained to Wei Chengjia that this would limit their profits. The NSS being the powerful lobby group that it was, their opinion prevailed and Wei decreed that only members of the NSS and DSS could trade with the Treasure Fleet directly. Some Spaniards applied for membership in the NSS, but were of course rejected.
Meanwhile, Dongguang fell into an economic slump. Businesses that had once thrived while servicing the Treasure Fleet were now closing up shop or barely staying afloat. Many packed up and moved their businesses to Ningbo. To pick up the slack, Bai Guguan pressured the DSS into accepting the Spaniards who were now applying for membership in their guild after being turned down by the NSS. The DSS resisted of course, since they didn't want a slough of foreigners taking over the guild. However, both Bai and the Spaniards painted a picture of soaring profits for them. Having members of their own guild with insider's knowledge and connections in Mexico could only be a good thing. Soon, Spaniards were showing up in Ningbo with DSS membership badges. Wei was forced to permit them to do business, but he didn't have to like it. He even passed a new law prohibiting non-Chinese, foreign-born individuals from staying the night inside the city walls, forcing them to stay in Dongguang or in small towns outside Ningbo.
In 1562, the Spaniards with DSS membership pooled their money and bought land along the Dongguang waterfront, where they built a warehouse with an adjoining office, and a pier. Savvy local businessmen built an inn, a pub, and a brothel nearby by to service the merchants and their crews. Many in Dongguang disliked this and complained to Bai Guguan that these foreigners were becoming too comfortable here. They shouldn't be allowed to own property, especially not inside the city walls. Bai, however, recognised the benefits of letting them stay, so he ignored the naysayers. Thus, the foundations of the Foreign District had been laid. Its size and prosperity would ebb and flow over the years, but it would eventually grow to be one of Dongguang's richest and most important districts.
Bai Guguan's welcoming of the Spaniards into Dongguang and even into membership with the DSS displeased Wei Chengjia. Wei decided to get back at him by refusing to sell silver at cost to Bai. This was no longer necessary for Bai, since he could now buy silver from the Spaniards who came to Dongguang, so Wei's feeble attempt at petty revenge had no serious effect. What it did mean, however, was that the treaty the two men had signed under the auspices of Cui Hejing was now as good as dead.
During this time, a linguistic shift began. Up until the 1560s, Nahuatl had been the trade language between Xinguans and Spaniards. Xinguan merchants had already been speaking it in order to trade with the Aztecs, and in the mid-16^th century, it was still a major administrative language of New Spain. Beginning in the 1560s, Spanish gradually replaced Nahuatl. Most Xinguan merchants spoke either Wu (for the northerners) or Yue (for the southerners), which are mutually unintelligible. Others spoke Min, Hakka, Cham, Vietnamese, or some other language. Amongst themselves, the merchants wrote in Classical Chinese and spoke in either Mandarin or one of their own languages. Not everyone spoke Mandarin, however. Humans, whatever their nationality, tend to gravitate toward the simplest solution, and to be able to do business with Spaniards, the simplest solution was for everyone to learn Spanish.
1565 would become a pivotal year in Sino-Spanish relations, and therefore, an important year in Xin-Mei relations. That was the year the Spanish conquistador Miguel Lopez de Legazpi invaded the Philippine island of Cebu and established the first permanent Spanish presence in the archipelago. This may not have been earth-shattering in and of itself, but it meant Spain was now expanding into China's sphere of influence. Tondo, a city on the island of Luzon just down the coast from the future capital of Manila, had long been a tributary of China and was the gateway for Chinese culture, trade goods, and political influence into the Philippines. In 1570 Spain conquered Manila, and the vagaries of politics soon brought it into conflict with Tondo, and therefore with China. Chinese troops were dispatched to the Philippines and fought with the Spaniards, whose army had relatively few actual Spaniards in it, with the bulk being made up of Filipinos and indigenous Mexicans.
The details of that conflict are beyond the scope of this work. What's important for us is how it affected Xin-Mei relations.
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