Things to put on a birthday cardm

last week I was out a bar with my friends when out of nowhere I lost consciousness and about 15 seconds later I came to and was looking up at everyone. originally when I went to the ER i told them i fainted, they ran bloodwork and gave me fluids. my cardiac troponin was slightly above the normal range which seems to indicate it was a heart issue. i was also pretty stressed and exhausted in the week leading up to this and i definitely think my anxiety contributed.
the reason i ask if this was a seizure is that my friend who saw the whole thing has experience seeing seizures first hand and he believes that’s what happened to me. he said i slowly put my head down on the table and my head was bobbing, and then i had some slight jerking movements/shaking. as i was coming out of it i remember being very rigid and kind of shaking. i also was slurring my words and was very confused as i came out of it.
i am a 23 year old woman and i had one previous experience passing out when i was 19. is it possible for this to be a tonic seizure? or is seeing a cardiologist enough?

Long story so please bear with me
I was with my first love for 3 and a bit years, we met in late 2010 before we broke up 10 years ago in early 2014. We were young and in our early 20s back then, things just fizzled out.
I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy after me for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017.
After her breakup in 2017 I confessed my feelings for her but we didn't go anywhere with it as she was still healing so I told her I need to cut her off at the point because I told her I was struggling to be just friends with her, to which she said that she was heartbroken that's it come to us parting ways. But we wished each other well and went our separate ways. I was really at my lowest at that point but have come a really long way since in terms of having a successful career and have improved a lot financially and mentally.
At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her, I regretted deleting her afterwards.
At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around over 2 years ago. A few monthds ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her. They got divorced around early 2022. Her ex husband is already engaged and due to get married again this summer.
As for me I did get in to another relationship with someone else but I was also cheated on so I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career. I considered getting in touch with her last year but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people.
So around 3 months ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she had accepted and also followed me back. She's been viewing my stories and a month ago I posted a life quote on my story which she liked, I haven't spoke to her yet. I posted a few pictures of myself which she hasn't liked but A few weeks ago I posted a quote on my story that said 'be the reason for someone's pain to turn into a smile', she liked that quote and also another one that I posted last week. It was my birthday a few days ago and she liked a birthday story that I posted on instagram.
I'm assuming she is single but not entirely sure. I added her 3 months ago but now she has deleted me, I was confused because she only liked one of my stories few days prior. At the time of her deletion, i was on holiday performing umrah. I would have liked to see if there was future for us but don't think she's interested now, i have messaged her after she deleted me saying 'Hi, hope your well. I probably should have said something a long time ago but I didn't, my fault. I've been praying for you, today I realise I've been deleted anyways I hope your keeping happy and healthy'. She replied saying 'Hey I'm good thanks hope you are too, that is kind of you, I didn't expect this kind of message'.
I didn't really know what to say back to her, I still don't understand why she deleted me even though days before she was showing an interest in my stories before and now she's deleted me. I just replied saying 'that's good. Sorry for catching you off guard with it, I wanted to reach out to you earlier. I'm glad your doing well though' and then she has replied back saying 'can I ask why?' I replied back saying 'It's been on my mind for a while to get back in touch with you, I didn't add you for no reason. But we don't need to if it's not something your comfortable with'. She then sent a long message as follows: 'You don’t make me feel uncomfortable. I have thought about you over the years and wished you well. I am really happy that you have also been called to do umrah and i hope it changes your life the same way it did mine. I removed you because you have my ex and his family on your instagram and I removed everyone who has any contact with them. You will have heard that I was married there for a short period of time but it was hell and now I’m out of it I don’t want them knowing anything about my life, so I removed everyone who has any link with them. I didn’t realise till that day that you did. It was nothing to do with you personally.' .
Im not actually friends with her ex husband as he is just someone that lives nearby to me and we have never spoken so I replied with this: 'I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I hope your okay and I pray god brings you ease. I wouldn't exactly say I have anything to do with them personally though, only thing I know about them is that they're from my area too. It makes sense now and it's understandable why you did that.'
She replied back again saying 'I'm great, God is the best of planners and it was the best thing for me. Even so, I removed everyone who had us both so sorry about that' and to which I replied 'That's fair enough, I'm glad to hear your doing well though and that your at peace now. That's what matters most'. She then asked 'how have you been, what's new with you?' I replied saying 'I'm not too bad thanks, life's changed a lot since we last spoke so there's quite a lot that's new lol'. after that we were speaking generally about the holiday that I'm currently on and what to do as she has been here before too and she also asked how long I'm there for and she asked who ive gone with and how long im on holiday for, it was in general a short and civilised conversation and the conversation happened whilst i was still deleted.
Towards the end of the conversation she said 'well i hope you have a lovely time 😊' and i replied with thank you and asked her when she was on holiday here, she replied saying that she went last November and the year before so then i replied saying 'oh nice, its good to go often. Need to make it a yearly thing' She ended the conversation 12 nights ago by liking that last message i sent, I don't know if she plans to message me again, What are the chances that she'll message me even if we don't follow each other on instagram anymore.
I am slightly anxious that she won't message me after this due to her deleting me because her ex is on my Instagram. Was thinking of just giving her space for a few more days, then deleting her ex and requesting her back in around in a few days bear in mind she deleted me 2 weeks ago and we havent spoken in 12 days. In the meantime i have been removing a lot of meaningless connections from my instagram and i will be removing her ex and his family too, i have also noticed that her number of following has also decreased as she has also been cutting down on the number of connections she has. I blame myself for this situation because I had the opportunity to delete her ex and his family a few months ago as I don't even speak to them, had I done that then she wouldn't have deleted me. Its been 2 weeks, should i take action or give her space?

Hi I’m new here, I live in Indiana, may 3rd my family and I went on a hike in a marsh area, and we walked into a giant tick mess. I’ve never seen a tick in my life before this, even being an outdoors person. We had hundreds on us, from head to toe, and we were miles away from our car. We stripped down and got as many off of us as we could find, when we got home, I had two attached to me, one deep enough that it stung when we got it off. But no rashes or anything followed. Except days later, I started getting more tired, didn’t put two and two together and honestly completely forgot about the whole situation. It was harder for me to wake in the morning, and I was just more fatigued during the day, I workout 6 days a week and found it harder to workout. About 2 weeks go by, and my fatigue is out of this world. I can fall asleep any second, I struggle to even move. A few days ago, I started getting severe muscle fatigue, like my arms feel like I’m carrying weights, definitely something I’ve never experienced before, I decided to see my dr and bring up the ticks, she immediately thought I have Lyme, she said this is too much of a coincidence to not be. I’m waiting blood tests but I’m feeling worse each day, now my body aches, and my neck is stiff and hurts, my stomach is constantly hurting. I feel like I have motion sickness 24/7, like that weakness and nausea that comes with motion sickness, that exact feeling. I’m just questioning everything though, what are the odds that a tick on me probably less than 2 hours gave me Lyme? Unless I missed one and it stayed attached longer than that, which could be a possibly having so many on us. I’m hoping this is just a bug of some sort, and so does my dr. My other blood work looks great, so no signs of infection or anything. My ast has doubled (still in normal range though) than what it was 6 months ago, it went from 15 to 32, which is the highest it’s ever been for me personally. That’s the only thing that stuck out to me that’s different on my blood work. I was prescribed doxycycline on Friday, went to pick it up and was informed that it’s not safe to take while breastfeeding and I nurse my son. I’m calling tomorrow to ask to be put on something safe, because it would take to long to wean and I want to be treated asap. Thank you for taking the time to read.

I’m a 24 year old woman currently & two years ago, during this month, I was in an episode of what I know now as psychotic depression. this episode lasted from April 2022 to the beginning of July 2022, with severe negative emotional repercussions & life setbacks for the rest of the year (2022) & some of 2023. today, I am still dealing with ptsd from this experience.
Where it began, I have always had anxiety & depression. During 2022, however, I was very depressed about my parent’s divorce, disappointments, past trauma (what I know now is complex ptsd) & working a very stressful full time job. I was also in school full time & put pressure on myself to make the Dean’s list every semester. I was crying at work and moving slowly during my tasks. My bosses had a talk with me and asked me if I was doing okay; I shared I was depressed & going through a lot. They were supportive. I was using cannabis at this time (mostly legal THC amounts) & overall not coping well.
One day at work, I developed a migraine (usually anxiety or depression related for me) & needed to go home. My boss was not happy with me needing to leave…I was sobbing in her office. We talked & she suggested I see a therapist. I went home feeling defeated. That night, probably 2am, I woke up feeling disconnected from myself. I was pacing outside. I was an anxious mess. The anxiety never subsided~ I was going to work but barely functioning. I had to take care of 20+ children while internally panicking. I paced a lot around the classroom & during outside time. I thought people pleasing would fix this, so I began giving my boss classroom ideas & such.
Then began the delusions… which made work & life in general very difficult. I ended up taking a leave of absence from work for about a week & a half. I came back to work part time as a cleaner, still very sick & dissociated. I had chances at being a teacher again but the support was not there for me.
I reached out to my primary doctor multiple times telling them I feel off and anxious. I went to a few therapists who should have hospitalized me or at least noticed psychotic features. My doctor prescribed buspar, which felt like it was helping at first but I was still very dissociated. I was taking buspar 3 times a day for a week & then stopped because I was convinced it was making me worse. I was prescribed Abilify but of course my delusional mind thought I wasn’t psychotic, so I didn’t take them. I even went to the ER & told them I was confused and dissociated. My older brother was there to attest that I wasn’t myself. They discharged me after giving me propranolol so my heart rate from anxiety wasn’t 160bpm. I wish they admitted me. I lived with my mom at the time, she wasn’t the most supportive & yelled at me to take my meds. I feel like everyone failed me during my crisis. I spent a lot of my time researching my symptoms & posting on depersonalization/derealization forums.
~Trigger Warning~ Talk of my Delusions, symptoms & SI. * I was daydreaming about not living and didn’t think I could make it another second living like that. Living moment to moment was extremely difficult, trying to cope. * Flashbacks, dissociation, anxiety, pacing. * Delusions: * I felt I was the last person on earth. I thought maybe I was dead or god’s last person. I thought I created every thing I read on the internet. I was alone. * I thought people (mostly my bosses) were constantly monitoring me, talking about me. * I was worried I would hurt others. I didn’t want to but I felt out of control so what if I accidentally did. * I felt like my body wasn’t mine. There is probably more, I just don’t want to get into it right now as it’s incredibly triggering. I fear a mental health crisis occurring again, my therapist & I talk about this fear many sessions, & in between sessions ~ I constantly think I’m going insane. my therapist has been patient and kind.
my healing journey consisted of lying in bed for half a year~ I tried doordash, instacart & other part time jobs but couldn’t keep up while trying to process what my brain just went through. I was very flashback-y and depressed. luckily, I have a very supportive boyfriend and he was patient while I healed.
I now live in my own apartment, have had a full time job for a year that I’m being promoted at w/ supportive bosses and coworkers, I have been with my boyfriend in a healthy relationship for 2 years, & I’ve been in therapy with my amazing therapist since August and found a new doctor that listens to me and explains things appropriately. I am still scared sometimes of it coming back but with each day, I feel less broken.
Thanks for reading. ♡ don’t give up.

I moved to a new state with my husband about two months before he deployed. It has been very difficult making friends as I work from home. Even before deactivating my social media, it was very difficult making friends using social media group pages. He has been gone several months and while it hasn’t been easy, because I’m constantly alone, I thought it was going okay.
He emailed me last week, after going radio silent, telling me how much he is struggling and how unhappy he is. Shared that a lot of it is my fault. He doesn’t feel comfortable opening up to me and never will. To preface this, this happened after 5 days of no talking after a “fight”. I put it in quotes because I was genuinely trying to avoid a fight. We were talking on messenger. He was giving me one or two word answers to everything and I started getting frustrated. So I told him I was gonna let him go and to have a good night and I love him. He asked me what he did wrong and I told him nothing. He said I love you too and immediately logged off. I messaged him back explaining that it felt like I was trying to pull teeth talking to him and I know he is exhausted and stressed so instead of hurting my own feelings I would rather get offline. He never opened the message. I also sent him a screen shot about something funny his brother shared with me so he could get context about what I was asking and knew it wasn’t a big deal. But again, he never opened the message.
Five days later is when I received the aforementioned email; he was purposely ignoring me. He had promised me multiple times before that he wouldn’t do that sort of thing again (this was now the fourth time) and this one was by far the longest. I sometimes struggle knowing how to respond because when he shares that I’m upset about something, he gets the context completely wrong. For example, he thinks I get mad at him for talking to his family. That’s not true at all. I get upset that we get to talk for what seems to be a few hours online, and he’s not really participating in sharing anything. I have to ask questions, I get one or two word answers back and that’s it. I try not to push but sometimes I need the communication to feel connected. He doesn’t tell me he misses me, he doesn’t call me babe or honey (he used to) I know he is struggling, and I’m by no means saying I have it worse, but on the boat, he has explicitly told me that he doesn’t like anyone, he doesn’t trust anyone and he absolutely hates this command. I don’t really have any friends but my isolation is not quite self induced.
I responded to his email explaining my side of things, and apologizing for not creating a space for him to feel comfortable to talk to me. That’s literally all I’ve tried to do but he just seems to feel pressure when talking to me. I genuinely believe his stress, anxiety and lack of sleep are highly contributing to his emotional and mental distress. Add that he is in a combat zone and I’m sure its worse. He won’t tell me that though, usually just says he’s not at all worried or makes a really dumb joke about it.
I all but begged him to please let me know if all he needs is space, that I want to support him but the silence is torture to me. I have an anxious attachment style (he is avoidant) so I tend to think worst case scenario. So I requested that he please put my mind at ease that he’s not considering ending our marriage.
Three days later he sends me a very long email talking about how he is not looking forward to coming home, and isnt because we couldn’t get thru a deployment without fighting; that he wants to go to his childhood home to see his family. That we don’t want the same things. That I’m happy where we moved to and he is not. He only chose these orders and the last orders to be close to his family. He hates that I don’t get along with his family and that I don’t really want to move there when he retires.
Let me explain that he lives in a very tiny town where there isn’t even a grocery store. I literally would not have a career within an hour of his town. We had agreed that we could live an hour away, like one of his brothers does and it would still be close enough to his family. Also, his family has been quite rude to me. I have been mending fences with them for the sake of my husband. I don’t care where we live in the grand scheme of things, but I still need to have a job and his father and that side of the family very much abuse alcohol. They are also very ignorant and racist. My husband already struggles with over drinking. That’s not something I want to raise a family around as they can be verbally abusive when drunk, and you never know what’s going to trigger them. They have no goals nor aspirations in life, and that’s okay, but I do/ we did… I thought. My husbands goal is to retire from the service and go home. I was willing to go close (1-2 hours which he had agreed) to his home because I have a while before I can retire.
He proceeded to talk about how he was miserable with his ex wife and doesn’t want to spend six year with me, like he did with her, thinking marriage was supposed to be an unhappy union. That he stayed with her that long because he didn’t want it to fail; also because she convinced him things would get better. They never did, in fact I believe there was some infidelity on her side. He continued on about nonsense, like how he wants the mirrors in our house to stay but I wanted to change them and he has completely given up on having a say on how to update the house we bought. For the record, I left the mirrros the way he wanted. I picked paint colors I knew he would like.
Next, he mentioned how we had gotten in a fight right before moving and in haste, I told him to leave me there. he considered that we do end it then but we agreed to keep going because even though we struggle with communication, we do love each other and want to continue our marriage as overall we are pretty happy.
He ended the email explaining that he has not been happy for a while, has been struggling and while we work good together, he doesn’t believe we are right for each other. That I need to look within and figure out if I am happy in the relationship. That he doesn’t care about my answer but he is not at all happy.That he will never be able to communicate the way I want and he has made more changes for me, like attend couples counseling and anger management, than he ever would have for anyone else.
There are still a few months left to this deployment. I literally have no idea where that leaves me. I’m hurt as shit. I’m angry. I’m confused and frustrated. Not once on this deployment have I even mentioned splitting. Month two was the first time he mentioned divorce. We got past that hurdle and month three he mentioned that we should consider getting pregnant when he gets back. Then some stupid issue comes up and the cycle of being angry and fine continues. In fact, I all but beg him to not leave me when he has these outbursts. I feel stupid.
He is not one to ask for help. He clearly needs help but I have no idea what to do. It’s clear he doesn’t want anything to do with me.

Here's the thing, I read this book in seventh grade. Even back then, when my frame of reference was terrible, I disliked this book, but couldn't quite put my finger on it.
Now that I've read many, many good books, i realise just HOW doghsit the book is HOWEVER I don't remember it well and i don't wanna reopen ot and go through it again to see just what exactly is wrong except for a couple of obvious things😭😭
I'm sorry for bringing up this abomination of a book, but if anyone has the time and courage, would they please walk me through what exactly is wrong with this book (yes I know everything is wrong) but if u could articulate.
Feel free to ignore this, i understand if u don't wanna put yourself through it.

Chapter 4: Pieces of the Puzzle
The Willowbrook Sheriff's Department was unusually quiet, a somber stillness hanging over the bullpen. Ethan sat in his office, his mind reeling from the events of the previous night. The image of the creature's twisted, inhuman form was seared into his memory, a waking nightmare that refused to fade.
A soft knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts, and he looked up to see Sarah standing in the doorway, her face etched with concern.
"You wanted to see me, Sheriff?" she asked, her voice tight with tension.
Ethan nodded, gesturing for her to come in and close the door. "Take a seat, Sarah. There's something I need to tell you."
Sarah sat down across from him, her brow furrowing at the seriousness of his tone. "What's going on, Ethan?"
Ethan leaned forward, his elbows resting on the desk. "Last night, while I was out on patrol, I saw it Sarah the beast you saw in the forest"
He recounted the events of the previous evening, the creature's grotesque form illuminated in the harsh glare of his headlights. He described its inhuman features, the way it moved with a speed and agility that defied all rational explanation.
Sarah looked on with a grim expression. "Ethan, I don't think we're dealing with a normal animal here. Whatever this is, it's something...different. Something unnatural."
Ethan's jaw tightened, his gaze hardening with resolve. "You're right. And whatever it is, we need to find it. We need to put an end to this, before anyone else gets hurt."
He rose from his chair, his hand resting on the butt of his gun. "I want you to start digging through the archives, looking for any mention of similar attacks in the past. See if there's a pattern, a connection we might be missing. And reach out to any contacts you have in the surrounding counties, see if they've had any reports of strange sightings or unexplained deaths."
Sarah stood as well, her own determination rising to match his. "I'm on it, Sheriff. We'll get to the bottom of this, no matter what it takes."
As she turned to leave, Ethan called after her, his voice soft but intense. "And Sarah? Be careful out there. We don't know what we're dealing with, and until we do...we can't afford to take any chances."
Sarah nodded, her eyes meeting his with a flicker of understanding. "I will, Ethan. You be careful too."
With that, she was gone, leaving Ethan alone with his thoughts and the weight of the task ahead. He knew that they were facing an enemy unlike any they had ever encountered before, a creature that defied all logic and reason.
But he also knew that they had no choice. They were the only ones who could stop this thing, the only ones who could protect the people of Willowbrook from the horrors that lurked in the shadows.
And they would not fail.
They would hunt this monster to the ends of the earth if they had to, using every resource at their disposal to bring it down and restore peace to their shattered community.
For the sake of their town, their people.
And for the memory of all those lost to the creature's insatiable hunger.
The hunt was on.
And this time, there would be no escape for the nightmare that stalked the night.
This time, the monster would face the consequences of its actions.
And justice would be served, one way or another.

I finished a TMS protocol last week which was going give days for multiple sessions every day from 11:00 am to 2:00 pm. They treated my right side of brain, and the last two days my left.
It was mostly to decrease my anxiety. Which it worked, I guess? But I’m hit by depression right now, and mood swings. But, right now I feel hopeless and stuck because according to him TMS doesn’t cause mood swings or depression. I asked another clinic, and they said the same thing.
Something made me feel off about my doc. Which he said that I needed to stop thinking in the past, and to let go of things. But, I wasn’t depressed when I went to him, I was anxious.
Did I make a mistake? I feel frustrated and well hopeless. I’ll see him again next week, but I don’t know what to expect. He is certified, and has also performed various sessions with patients successfully.
Did my brain responded to TMS? What the h am I supposed to say to my parents? This all could be for nothing, right? During the sessions (right side) I felt my brain stimulated and well my anxiety lowered. When they put it on the right side (2 days) I felt motivated. But, now it’s day 5th post treatment and I feel like a rollercoaster with feeling of hopelessness especially with what the dr said that Tms Doesn’t cause mood changes/swings, so I’m worried now.
I don’t think my meds are working and the doc also agrees with that, but I cannot stop taking them until I see him again. (We spoke through phone because I had a breakdown and I really wanted to know what was going on)
I’m doubting everything now, even questioning myself and this decision.

i'm really upset right now my f15 birthday is on tuesday and i organised a birthday dinner with my friend group of 15 people. 10 out of 15 cancelled . i'm really upset because whenever its one of their birthdays i always go all out and put in so much effort so they can be happy on their special day and it hurts to see they won't do the same for me. even though 3 didnt cancel on me i decided to just cancel the whole thing because those who did cancel just completely crushed me and any excitement i had towards my birthday. especially because its my 16th birthday and i've always imagined having a big party with my friends, does anyone have any ideas on what i can do because honestly im really sad right now and doubting our friendship

Hi fellow COROS enthusiasts! I’ve had my Pace 2 for maybe about 4 years and love it. Unfortunately I have sensitive skin and just last year I started getting irritated skin / rash if I wear my beloved pace 2 as designed on the wrist. I’ve tried many things, including the other arm, putting a different fabric around the back (over the optical sensor - I don’t use the HR anyway), cleaning and sanitizing, etc., going to doctor (who just give me various scary creams that do nothing), but nothing works, and now I just need to avoid wearing it directly on my skin.
I’ve taken the straps off the watch and I currently just put it in a shorts pocket, lol it still tracks accurately, although I’m worried I will lose it sometime if i try to get fancy and check my time / distance mid run.
I’d love to modify the watch to basically tie a thin rope/cord around it in some way, so I can secure it to my shorts or running pack, instead of having the tiny watch face in my shorts pocket with no security. I’ve tried googling online for something similar to not luck. Any ideas for how to do this? Can I drill a tiny hole into the watch without ruining it, or try gluing something on? I know I could just use my smartphone to track my run but I love having the watch, I love being able to run without my phone. Appreciate any ideas, thank you!!

Im 16 almost 17 ftm and I’ve wanted to start transitioning medically since age 14 but was scared to tell my parents who are both transphobic and homophobic, plus my mom is one of those Christians who lash out at trans and gay people. So I knew there was no way I could come out to them so for 4 years I’ve just been rotting in my room waiting until I’m 18 so I can transition. Finally on my 15th birthday I cut ALL of my hair off at school and came out to my parents, my dad just ignored it of course but my mom did NOT take it well she ignored it too and didn’t speak to me about it for like 2 weeks until she said that’s she’s getting me a therapist.
I went to the therapist for like 6 months and it fucking sucked ass, it was so humiliating talking to someone who clearly didn’t understand my situation and all she did was ask how my day was and then tell me time is over like bruh. So on my 16th birthday I got so tired of it and after the therapist appointment when I got in the car I didn’t want to talk to my mom and juts put my AirPods in and ignored her and man she got MAD.
She yelled at me saying “Are you fucking kidding me, what? What’s wrong? OHHH you’re mad because I won’t let you take the medication that you want to take? IM SO SURE! You act like your the most miserable kid in the world always whining about how you life isn’t perfect.” “I will NEVER let you take that medicine crap NEVER, once you get your own money and grow up you can do whatever the hell you want.” God mad you a girl! “I’m Sooo sorry he didn’t make you how you wanted to be”😒 This is not normal it’s unnatural! Your not normal! No matter what medicine you take or what surgeries you have you will never be a boy, you will always be my girl!
Hearing that from my mom who I love so much really destroyed me. She ended up crying and yelling so much that she couldn’t drive so she pulled over and juts got out the car and went outside the car to smoke. I was juts sitting there in shock with tears rolling out of my eyes but a frown on my face. All I couldn’t think about was how the rest of my family would react they are almost all religious and I know they will never love me the same. My mom came back in the car and for the whole hour home she juts kept bitching to me the whole time asking “why are you still crying” like are you fucking serious. I wanted to jump out the car on the highway face first
This happened about 7 months ago and I’m going to turn 17 this year. Junior year is coming up and when I tell you I CANNOT get through another 2 years of getting dead named and misgendered. I’m literally on the verge of constantly wanting to end everything and juts be done because i have no friends. and it feels like everyone hates me. Summer is here and it’s so hot but if I don’t have my binder on I will not leave the house I hate my chest so much I wish I could just rip it off and my voice is the worst. I never talk to anyone and I get In Trouble at school for not doing presentations and for missing so much school due to dysphoria. Also I’m pretty sure my ribs are also fucked up because I’m always in pain when I wear my binder and when I look in the mirror my ribs look wrong but I don’t even care anymore.
School is so fucking stupid we do NOTHING. I’m not even joking when I say I finished the whole breaking bad series at school plus some other movies like Deadpool because we do nothing it’s juts like I’m wasting my life away and it’s so frustrating all I do is go to school to watch movies and get called slurs all day.
I’m not sure why I’m posting this or what kind of advice I’m looking for and it’s okay if your don’t have any. I think I juts really needed to get this off my shoulders thanks for anyone who read this . 💙

For reference, I have a Canyon Endurace CF SL 8 Disc. I took my back wheel today to do some more intensive cleaning. After finishing up, I put my back wheel on and it is no longer spinning when the pedals are spun. I’m losing my mind taking it on and off trying to figure out what I did wrong. Any insight would be great. I really don’t want to bring it to the shop as they always take a week or more for even simple things.

As title suggests this is about over attaching and overthinking while dating or in relationship as both has occured for me. I am quite aware of these bad traits of mine and its not something easy to get rid off takes quite some personal growth and work.
My question is how did you get away from those traits and secure healthier relationships. What made just finally be more trusting and self secured.
Let me gove you example of what i am through now. I finally started dating again my last break up. This girl i am seeing now its quite the opposite of what i normaly would of dated and i wanted this as its completly different and refreshing. We been on maybe 8 dates we hang out maybe once to twice a week.
The thing is this girl is not a texter or doesnt really use social media. Pretty much not really attached to her phone as most mondern people are. What the problem is me i am big texter or not its more of a insecurity and i want contact. But she is not it takes her always long to respond at any situation however in person she will talk the ears of me and have great time. However the days we are not talking i overthink that shes is not intrested or hooking up with other people. I did bring up exclusivity while we dating she did not want to put label on us as its to early and she was never in relationship before either. But she did say she only dates one person at a time which in we agreed. But yeah how do j stop my self on overthinking and insecurity in the early stages of dating, however this kinda carried over to my relationships in the past. I definitely recognize my own destructive patern and i know what i am dojng wrong and making it better. But i would like some real advice from someone who was like me what makes you finally snap out of that destructive behavior and be more trusting and opening up to love more. Not sure of i phrased this well but hopefully someone understands

I, 30F, am currently two weeks away from my due date. This baby will be my first child and I am looking forward to motherhood and everything that comes with it (and tbh absolutely terrified but in a good way).
In my country baby showers have been a thing for roughly 10-15 years now. I personally have organized 3 - one for my older sister J (33f) in 2018, one for a close friend P (31f) in 2023 and the third one was literally a week ago for another friend N (30f).
For all three baby showers I've made sure there is food (a "salad buffet" where all the ingredients are in separate bowls and guests can create their own plates with stuff they like + other savory stuff as well as dessert) and some activities/entertainment.
For example for my sister I bought over 10 white bodies of different sizes and every guest got to decorate their own. For P we had one shared body, baby predictions, baby food tasting, diapers where people wrote messages etc (her sister organized half of the activities though). For N we had the shared body to decorate, baby predictions, baby food and diaper messages - this baby shower was for her 2nd child since she did not get one for her first due to the child being born over 3 weeks before the due date (and it was being organized by her mom who had not invited me or another closer friend for some reason).
I had my baby shower this Sunday morning. I had guessed it would be this Sunday so I spent some time cleaning our home yesterday, but I still had for example laundry drying all around the apartment etc. Usually the way these go is that the mom-to-be is somehow lured outside for a while so that all the guests can come and then when the mom returns, there is that whole "surprise!!" thing going on. I personally arranged this for P, and made sure N's spouse knew what to do.
Instead for me the doorbell rang and all of the guests simply poured in. At 10am. I am a morning person but I haven't been sleeping well due to pregnancy, so I was simply baffled at the early time. But I figured I'll go with it, but I didn't have a chance to put on any make up, and I was wearing this summer overall thing that is not flattering at all.
People come in, they start preparing a brunch sort of thing, bring out everything to our living/dining room and we eat. No toasts, no nothing. Then they bring out a cake (which was exactly that I wanted because I flat out told my sister a month ago that I would really like one for my shower if they organize one). After the cake P brings out a diaper pack, and they all start writing messages to them - I'm happy but ofc also this activity is something that does not actually give me anything to do. So I am literally sitting there, waiting for them to write them.
Then they have me open my presents, which I am grateful for. After opening them 2 of my other friends and my sister all say they need to leave as they have other stuff today. It is maybe 12-12.30 at this point? So they leave, as do P and N, leaving me and 3 other guests. They stayed for maybe 30-45min more, so by 13.30 the "party" was fully over.
There was no activity that I participated in. My baby shower lasted for max 3h. I was now left with a kitchen full of dirty dishes (they did put one load in the dishwasher, but they used a bunch of stuff to make the brunch, like cutting boards, serving dishes, knives) - everything left for me to clean.
All I can think of is - this is it? This is really all I get for my first (and only) baby shower?
I know I should be grateful for even getting one at all, and that there are people out in the world literally starving and this is such a stupid thing to be upset about, but I cried for over an hour after they left, with my spouse trying to cheer me up. He took me out for a walk and was able to cheer me up but now that it is midnight and I am supposed to be sleeping I can't help but cry. I even looked through photos P sent me and I look horrible in all of them.
So - I don't know what I am even looking for, maybe some kind words either telling me I am wrong and giving me another perspective or some validation for feeling how I feel. All I ask is that people be kind, my hormones are already all over the place. Thank you for reading.

I’ve had my fair share of debates (to put it politely) with a good number of users, but in the end no one is more nor less ‘correct’ than anyone else; it is indeed merely a subjective debate on the very subject
It would be obvious for me to say Lionheart was underrated (I felt he should’ve got top 10 maybe even top 7 or 8 at a push, but I’m not naive into believing he was literally our greatest king), but I would say Henry V, Edward I and Henry I were very much done dirty/underrated on the poll positions
It’s just interesting how half of viewers will take the modern moral standpoint upon their judgements, while the other half, including myself, simply accept things for what they were in such times, and not often hold these monarchs to account for them (most notably I, somewhat within reason I think, defended William the Conqueror’s Harrying of the North for example)

Im a mom of four .. I was able to breastfeed my third baby well I would pump it and bottle feed her but it was a lot for me and I remover I hated it but my baby had the best nutrition ever ! And I was proud of that … but this time idk why it’s even harder .. I feel like all I do is feed her, pump and sleep … I hate my life right now sometimes I get the urge of just walking away and just ending my life … I never want to hurt my baby or anyone else just myself like if I take myself out of the equation I’ll rest… my husband helped for one week the one week he was out of work for the birth of the baby and now he is just so tired … HE IS TIRED 💀… I feel like punching him every time I see him napping or sleeping … I don’t sleep all night .. this guy put the two older kids in baseball and soccer and he’s made me take them to their games because he can’t make it because of work … two weeks after a C-section … I hate him so much right now … I can’t even look at him ! He doesn’t even spend time with me , he’s home and he’ll be downstairs watching his games , or he will go play his softball games , we’re in bed together and he’s on his phone or just falls asleep because he is so tired …
He had a instagram account and he kept sending videos and pictures of models with big butts and boobs .. to his friends and telling them how he wants to f them raw or all these things … he also has a Reddit account and o here all he follows is women that do porn, and he comments and just looks at porn every day … while he’s at work he doesn’t talk to me he doesn’t text me … idk if it’s because I can’t have sex right now because of my C-section … but the only way he will talk to me is if we’re talking about his sexual fantasies … or anything sexual … that’s the only way I’ll get him to talk to me all day .. the only way we can hold a conversation is if we’re talking about sex … he doesn’t care to know if I’m ok , if I’m in pain, if I’m tired… nothing … idk why he is with me to be honest … the girls he follows and comments under and wishes he could take to bed look nothing like me at all … first of all I’m huge right now because I just had a baby , and even when I lose weight I don’t have a small waist , I’m not a big butt girl or even big boobs … I feel like I want to walk away because I want a man that finds me attractive, that wants to be with me, that doesn’t need sex to connect with me … I feel so ugly right now and he’s not helping at all he makes me feel uglier and disgusting… I don’t even want him to look at me naked or even touch me …

When I put on makeup or my skin clears more I get so many compliments, people ask me for my number, and just in general people are SO much nicer. When im breaking out more (and I break out REALLY BAD all over my face) I never get compliments other than clothing, no one ever asks for my number, and people are so mean. I’ll even see a difference in how a stranger will acts towards multiple ppl with clear skin vs acne prone skin. It’s horrible. Everything is more embarrassing and I can just automatically see people see me as ugly automatically.
For example today I had my lifeguard re-certification and I didn’t have makeup on my skin plus the chlorine made it super red. This instructor who I had literally just met was so nice to clear skinned people vs me and this other girl who were both acne prone. She would make jokes with them and to me and the other girl she was super passive aggressive and stuff. When I was on line waiting for an instructor to insert me into the thing for finishing the course after I was done and my dad and sister were waiting a bit farther looking at us. The instructor asked if it was my family and started yelling at them to come over to a bunch of people around my age. It was super embarrassing but you wanna know the first thing my mind went to? God I must look so fucking dumb being the only one with family right next to me and plus I have acne so I’m ugly and that makes it even worse. I hate my acne. All I do is cry and cry and cry about it. Nothing works. I hate it so much.

So this is going to be a long story, but a very intriguing one (or so my friends say). Bear with me and if you could offer some advice on what to do please share. I know I'm probably just young and naive but I feel like the pain will never stop. Like I'm going to always be held back by this particular experience.
Also sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, English isn't my first language.
So all of this begins October of 2022 when I 18 M (at the time) moved to a new city to study film. I was lucky enough to have good grades and be so passionate about this art that it kind of felt incredible to have this new beginning. I rented a small house which I decorated with my collections and all my stuff and ended up loving every second spend in it.
I'm Not very social. Thats just a fact. I've always had my school friends and some people from other activities but none of them really felt like they understood me. No sade to them, I really love them, it's just that I know my hobbies and personality are niece and weird so we don't always see eye to eye. So I wanted to overcome my social anxiety and meet new people.
For the first semester I was all alone. Completely. Spent days upon days without leaving my house if I didn't have school and even didn't have any actual human interaction if not necessary. I didn't realise how much I was hurting myself. The Second semester, someone approached me in school and asked if I could help them with the editing for their final movie, let's call him Jacob 18 M. I already was searching for a group project to join in order to pass the class so this felt like a sweet deal. The group was Jacob and 2 girls, let's call them Ellie 18 F and Hannah 18 F.
With time we started talking about more then just the movie. I was really surprised by how many things we had in common. It was the first time someone I met liked musical theatre or (and this is gonna sound sad, please don't judge me) people didn't want me to leave whenever I approached them. They invited me to things, to their homes and after school and to trips at the beach ect. We were together almost every day. Till late at night or through it. Just the 4 of us. Felt like we could rule the world.
One day i thought Ellie was flirting with me. That was a weird feeling. I'm not very good looking and had a lot of extra weight so that was pretty much the first time but my friends told me that was the case from what I was describing. I mentioned it to Jacob and he told me something I didn't expect. He told me him and Ellie were in an open relationship and were hiding it from everyone except Hannah because of his ex who was in school with us. He also confessed he once had a crush on me and that's why he approached me in the first place. He also saw Ellie flirting with me but was ok with it due to the "rules of their relationship".
I was ok with not having a romantic relationship with Ellie. She would actually become one of the closest friends I've ever had. Or so I thought.
I actually started having a crush on Hannah. She loved some of the movies I loved. Had some of my quirks so I didn't feel ashamed around her and she started watching my favourite tv show with me. During our time together everyone (even her sister and Jacob who found out I liked her) told us that when we were together we could only see each other. As if we had a unique way of communication that nobody else could understand.
I confessed my crush and she told me she felt the same way but that there where 2 problems. First that she gets very anxious about relationships, has only ever been to one and had never kissed anyone. I assured her I wasn't going to pressure anything and I only cared for her and wanted to go on a date sometime. She replied she would like that very much. The second problem she confessed was that she was in love with Jacob for months now but nobody knew. Then everything made sense. The things she did for him and all. How she acted around him. I was surprised I didn't notice it before. She told me she wanted to get over it and proceed to ask to kiss me. We kissed a lot but nothing more that night. She went home after a few hours.
The next day Hannah she felt very distant. We wanted to go to the movies with Ellie but she disappeared all day. Late at night she asked my to go for a walk since we lived near each other. Then she told me she wanted to forget everything and last night was a mistake. That her anxiety has gotten into her and although she really wanted a relationship she couldn't be in one. The next few days we talked again and she said she didn't share any of this with Jacob to have someone in the group I could talk to if I needed help. Ellie was that for her.
It was already summer so we all went to our home towns. I missed her a ton. We stilled talked and the other 2 knew something was off with me. About 2 moths later we all went to Hannah's summerhouse for vacation. We were having fun, getting drunk and all that 19-year old stuff. One night me and Hannah were watching my show together and the time felt right so I asked to kiss her. She told me no and finally told me the truth. Turns out she liked that we flirted but after kissing me she realised it wasn't anything more. Also everyone knew except me. But after all this time I had realised I was in love with this girl. I told her if she could keep all of this to herself and she said yes.
We were all still friends. But I couldn't let go. My mental health began to decent and I started feeling like they would leave me out of stuff to go hang out alone and during October I tried talking some time away to see if they would even talk to me if I didn't. They didn't even say good morning once. I tried again and again. Jacob and Ellie said we all need to talk together. They repeated the same words. Like as if it was rehearsed. I went to "the talk".
Jacob did most of the talking. He talked about boundaries and how after everything between me and Hannah the group hasn't been the same. That after I didn't tell him what happened in our vacation they went to her and forced Hannah to do so. They where all attacking me. I heard lie after lie and all followed up with "we just need some time" and that all of this was cause they loved me.
I have discussed what they accused me of with friends, family and therapists. Although I didn't not believe it at first they all confirmed it was finding little details in my day-to-day behaviour (unrelated to all of the above) and using it to kick me out. They didn't intend of even speaking to me again. Lies feed to everyone by Jacob.
I went away. I don't know if it was for the better. But for a few weeks at first and then months later, I went back to my home town. Their lies became actual blame and I got a message from Ellie saying that we are done (just one month after trying to convince me they needed time and confessing she in particular didn't even notice anything until her boyfriend accused me).
Last time I saw any of them was in December when I gave Hannah her Christmas present. I told her I wasn't trying to get her back and I would continue to keep my distance since my first priority is what she wants and I meant that. I really do love her and would do anything for her to be happy. But I miss her a ton.
It's been 5 months since then. I stopped going to school and kept my distance from anyone related to that life. I have depression and cannot think about anything else. I heard that Jacob still talk shut about me to everyone. I have realised what has happened and have discussed this with multiple common friends who have confirmed this. Jacob is Manipulating the other 2 because of the bad relationship with his parents. He knows Ellie won't do anything with anyone else despite the "open" relationship due to her luck of confidence (so it only works for him). She need him to operate in public and to deal with her extreme anxiety so he takes advantage of that and Hannah follows him everywhere with the excuse of just being a good friend.
There are so many things I couldn't include (this is a hugh post already) about more lies and proof that they where bad for me. But I can't move on. I have seeked medical help but I just cant imagine my life in the future without them. Everything is a reminder of what we've been through. Jacob used to call me his family and when I begged him for our friendship back he didn't even care. Not on my birthday, not on new years... never. I lost all of them.
I'm back now. Not sure why, whether I'm back to continue my studies or to see if I could win them back. If I could have Hannah in my life in sime form. But I'll probably see them tomorrow morning (I randomly walked behind them today, don't think they noticed me).
What should I do?
TL,DR: The girl I'm in love with stopped talking to me along with my 2 best friends. I can't move on and I'm supposed to face them again in school after not seeing them for months. They all lied to me and nothing seem to help. I have depression and I dont want to feel like this for the rest of my life.ĺ

I was doing the cut up patch things with awesome results. I woke up dry almost every night!! So I asked to go up to the next dose (.075) and man, I got my ass kicked. I had two doses which coincided with a huge migraine (fine - expected), a goddamn period (again, whatever fine not unexpected), then another 1.5 weeks of horrible migraines. I just started steroids today to try and get rid of it.
HOWEVER, I did travel during this time to a very different climate to visit family (yeah, all of what that entails) and basically subsisted on birthday cake and Mexican food for a week. It was lovely but gross.
Should I just stick with the .075 and figure it's fine and that the migraines streak was due to all of these other factors? Like that many teensy micrograms isn't going to knock me straight into migraine hell forever, right? Or could it really have just tipped me over the edge into too much estrogen?

Prayer based on 2 Timothy 3:15-17
All of Scripture is from God and written for our benefit.
Father, we praise You, for giving us this high view of Scripture. Paul tells Timothy that all Scripture is from You and is profitable. May we accept all Your Word as relevant and worthy of serious study. May we never put ourselves over Scripture, reject Your clear teachings, or twist and distort it to say things the Author never intended. May we realize the great danger of trusting in our fallen intellects. Make us humble, teachable people who delight in Your Word and live under Its authority. Your Word is complete, sufficient, and without error. Surround us with Your good teachers who faithfully expound on Your Word so we come to know You and love You more. Make us so familiar with Your Word that we will quickly recognize and reject false teachings. You have given us Your Word to equip us for every good work. Father, may we live our days under the authority of Scripture, knowing it is Your infallible Truth. Let us not lean on the understanding of the world but look to Your Word, which make us wise and pleasing to You. May all we believe, do and say be guided and directed by Your Word. Amen.
What you believe about God is the most important thing about you? A. W. Tozer
Questions for reflection and meditation: 1. How does your beliefs about God affect your response to loss, persecution, injustice, etc.? 2. What would change if you took the Word of God more seriously? 3. Who are your teachers, and what effect have they had on your life? 4. Do you live like a noble Berean? They were open and eager to be taught, and they examined the Scriptures daily to see if their beliefs line up with the Word of God. (Acts 17:11)