Please be gentle, it's been bouncing around in my brain forever.
"Good morning class. as we continue our lecture on our war like members of the Federation. This week we will be discussing humans." Hand raises, sigh. "Yes Twicx." "But humans are not warlike they didn't even post scores during last year's fleet wargames." "Well, if you let me continue with my lecture you will find out that answer. Sit down."
"Why is one of the Federations most friendly races at the top of this list of war races? The Grog are 1000 kg and can lift some races tanks. The Sevetm are so nibble that they are unrivaled at close quarters battle and fighter craft."
"Humans evolved on a hell planet with the highest biodiversity of any planet found in this galaxy. And probably any other. More species go extinct on their home planet Earth a day then some cradle worlds have ever had. They have become the super apex predator of this planet where every biome has animals that will hunt and eat humans. At one point there were 5 different species of humans competing to survive. Put your hand down Twicx. To this day the planet is home to no less then 13 pre-sapient species."
"This crucible of evolution has created a super predator that most of the galaxy often finds cute and cuddly. They have evolved 3 traits in my humble opinion that set them above other species in the theater of combat. Yes, Twicx I see your hand put it down or I will remove you from class. These traits are as follows and will be on the test."
"1) Pack bonding: Humans will bond with almost anything, some cases even inanimate objects and will swarm like hive drones if a bond partner or child is harmed. Not just their own children either. whole villages would endanger themselves to find one lost child that was not even from their village."
"2) Combat Drugs: When a human is stressed just like many other species from Earth, they release a combination of hormones that most super soldier programs would be scared to even administer. In fact, most of these chemicals are illegal and considered war crimes to administer to troops. Adrenaline, Cortisol, and several Catecholamines are released from a gland attached to a part of their digestive system. This reduces pain, increases the bodies available strength, increases nerve response, increases blood flow, and adds more energy molecules into their blood stream, I think it is called Glucose, a form of drink sweetener. Look up their properties tonight as your homework then discuss on the class forum. I expect 3 posts of no less than 300 words this week. Where was I? Oh yes."
"3) Tenacity: A purely human concept. Humans are what is called a pursuit or persistence predator, they are slower and weaker than even most of the pray species on Earth but what they could do was run their pray to exhaustion and death. Human elderly are known to be able to run 42 kilometers without stopping to rest with minimal training. This ability has created a psyche that does not stop due to adversity. Thier history is full of examples of soldiers that fought to the death and at time won when surrounded just because they refused to bow to their enemy or to give others a chance to escape. This tenacity influences every part of their lives. From technological research: Don't tell me it can't be done. To their combativeness with authority: I will not wear green on Friday, I don't want to, and you can't make me. A human Marine I once met summed it up as: Because fuck you make me!""
This evolution has created a species that thrives in adversity. In fact, most humans do not like living on gaia class worlds because they find them too boring. In fact, studies have shown that humans without some competition or conflict in their lives show increased mental instability and have a severely decreased life span. This is why they scare just about every other military in the Federation. Thank you class and have a good day."
"Oh, Twicx, to answer your question you should really lookup who the red force during the fleet games is. It's their reserve fleet, their part time volunteers. And you know that Red Force usually wins, even in very disadvantageous scenarios. Now get out."

Aaahh this is going to be long but I have nowhere else to address my current circumstances right now and I dunno if this is the right place to say this but I hope it is. sob sob
Anyways, hi! I'm a college student (21F) who has been peer-reviewed (lol) that I may be autistic when I opened up to a friend about how I'm so overwhelmed around people and the environment in general everytime I go outside, especially at school. They are autistic as well and they pointed out that I have traits that can be linked to autism. I was pretty sure I have ADHD, but now I'm confused and I'm trying to figure myself out abt myself once again and why I can't be a person like other people who seem like they live life on an easier level than me (not completely disregarding their struggles but I hope it makes sense).
This happened around March, during my midterm exams, where I couldn't really focus on anything anymore after how many years of forcing myself to function properly despite stressed and overwhelmed. My brain felt like its treated like one of those ASMR slime videos where people stretch and squeeze/crumple the slime but instead in a satisfying way, it really felt uncomfortable and I felt like crying in the middle of our exams. I had to stop myself bc its so embarrasing to just randomly cry during exams where I couldn't even understand why I was crying at all lol. Not to add the very loud voices from my classmates and other noises I couldn't tolerate anymore for how many years that these types of noises messed with my brain. I wasn't able to comprehend every question from the exam even if it was familiar to me.
After that, I told my dad that I didn't want to go to our family reunion with our relatives bc I was so exhausted and I needed alone time to myself even for just one day. I really liked to be alone and prefer to do stuff I like alone or with a person that I'm very comfortable with. Just do our own stuff and not requiring to speak at all. Just there vibing. Everytime I have to go outside and meet people, it felt like I have to put a personality just to be able to converse with them and manage to smile even if I don't want to. I don't know how to act around people and how to empathize with them, so I have to learn/copy and research others' behavior - which my friend pointed out that I may be autistic and I was masking to fit in.
Unfortunately, my dad didn't understand and forced me to go despite my reasoning, which made me incredibly upset and I had to put on another personality just to come off as not rude towards my relatives. It was very tiring and at that moment I wish I wasn't a person at all (tbh I wish I was a cloud 24/7 bc I'm just up there floating). The good thing is that the venue was at an exclusive beach resort, where the sea waves can calm me down a little bit after drinking liquor with my cousins. (I only drank those light beers bc I don't want to experience getting drunk + my parents were there).
I feel severely burnt out after that, and I think it continues to affect me up to this day. I once loved being a pharmacy major and learning about how drugs affect the body and all that but with the way how my teachers conduct their lessons and quizzes + super super overstimulated from the environment and lots of responsibilities, my mind won't process any new information anymore and my body refuses to move and work on my school stuff, and I lose motivation to study, too. Or even get up from bed at all.
Another thing that my friend pointed out was how I manage my time to prepare. I don't know how to explain it in general but I'll give an example on how I do my routine when I go on campus. My classes usually start at 8 AM, and I leave at 7 AM. Therefore I prepare myself 2 hours early and "operate" every 30 minutes. I need to get one or two things done within 30 minutes or else I feel like I would be late and I hate feeling late. I don't like changing schedules last minute or very late announcements (which my teachers are fond of changing schedules very late or make an announcement for lab requirements at like 12 midnight on the same day where we will have lab classes and I'm already asleep around 8 to 9!! Everyone seemed to be fine with it but I was super stressed out and I don't like stuff similar to that). And yesterday when we had our math class, my teacher said we would end at 6 PM to catch up on our topics, so I told my dad that I need to be picked up at 6 PM bc I feel unsafe going home when its dark outside. But around 5:40 when we had our break time she suddenly said that we would be extending until 8 PM, and I felt like I was about to cry again.
I went outside of campus to buy snacks and saw that my dad was already there waiting for me so I came up to him and cried (very embarrassing on my part ughhh) but I couldn't control myself anymore. I was teary eyed and tried to stop my tears so I jokingly told my friend that I'm about to cry bc of how tired I am so she wouldn't notice. I hated the feeling so bad bc my teacher said she would dismiss us at 6 PM, and 8 PM I should be on my bed that time.
I also dislike it when people set their schedules like 7:45 PM or 8:15 AM or 9:20 AM and not 7:00 or 7:30/8:00 or 8:30 and all that stuff because its hard for me to prepare that way. Or when they plan stuff and tell me that we'll go at night, but not specifying the time.
In regards of my interests, I like pharmacology, radiopharmaceuticals, physics, art, and fashion design. I also like math even I'm not really good at those things I mentioned. I just love to read stuff about them and how people come up with theories. The thing is I'm more of a gatekeeper and I dislike sharing them to people even if they share the same interests as me, unless I am comfortable with them. I'm more of a listener than a talker. I don't know if its a common thing among autistic people. And everytime I gain a new interest, my other interests go dormant and I can only focus on that one specific interest which made me lead to ignore my other interests and responsibilities.
Aside from that, I struggle expressing my emotions especially facial expressions. I get scolded at lot by my mom that I look pissed but I'm not pissed at all. It feels uncomfy for me to smile either, and my emotions are usually just stagnant, I think. The only feeling I can "feel" is when I'm stressed, anxious, angry, and everything else feels like "meh" to me. "How are you feeling?" questions are hard for me to answer and I wish I have a soundboard to respond and its just vine boom noise or stuff like that to accurately describe what I'm feeling instead of words.
When it comes to repetitive movements, I don't really know because I don't pay attention to my actions. I have a habit of picking my lips and pulling strands of my hair though. Nowadays I bring my cotton doll with me to keep my hands busy or end up crocheting since they make me feel comfortable.
I think I have a lot more stuff that are autistic traits but it's going to be very very long than this one. I'm seeing a psychologist a few days from now to get myself assessed because I know I really need professional help. I'm anxious that I'm not "autistic enough" to be diagnosed but upon reading people's experiences in here and in other subreddits as well + having high scores in online tests + reading Devon Price's "Unmasking Autism", I felt very seen and made me decide that I should go see a professional, but I don't really know what to say to them and I feel like I should have a format for everything I say (as always). It would be nice if anyone has an advice for this too.
Again, sorry if its very long and you had to read them all !! I have no idea about myself anymore and I just want to make life somehow easier to me to manage instead of trying to treat life as something that I have to survive instead of just living. That or become an alien/entity from a higher dimension so I can do what I want and no longer be perceived or be noticed/given attention to.
That's all, thank you very much! 🫶

UWorld - 61% average with 78% complete CBSE - 43 (40ish days out) Form 28 - 62 (offline, 20ish days out) Form 29 - 67 (offline, 15ish days out) Form 31 - 72 (online, 9ish days out) Form 30 - 78 (offline, 5ish days out) New Free 120 - 74 (2 days out)
I know how daunting this exam is and happy to share my experience as I know I benefited from these write ups when I was going through it. Passed a few weeks ago with a mid April date, but just getting around to this now.
Prior to dedicated had barely reviewed any material. I only really recalled hematology and repro as they were our last two blocks, and half of sketchy micro as I had done that over winter break.
If I had to give advice, I would say that if you have prestudied just micro and pharm (I do sketchy but in any modality) you will have a comparatively relaxed dedicated as these took a significant time for me.
I had around a 5 week dedicated since I had a trip planned and wanted to stick to it.
First week - downloaded pepper deck for sketchy micro pharm, started working through remaining micro and then a majority of pharm (tried for folder a day but sometimes too much), would read a chapter of first aid each evening (not sure if this helped really)
Second week - wrapped up a majority of pharm late this week and stopped introing regularly. Was beginning uworld blocks and starting in the 50-60s with only content I had read through in first aid + micro/pharm. Finished the first aid read and started doing full random, timed, tutor uworld blocks. Made cards out of incorrects on Anki + related topics/mnemonics I would find online, in first aid, or in dirty medicine. Printed out a 200 box sheet for offline nbmes. Also started listening to goljan on drives and walks here - didn’t get through all but probably around half the lectures over the following weeks in some weak areas.
Third week - kept doing uworld blocks (3 a day was the goal), scores could get into 70s rarely if I got a good block. Watched occasional pathoma or dirty medicine video on topics I felt bad in. Reviewed pathoma 1-3 after missing much of immuno questions in a nbme. I felt very confident on pharm and micro now, physio was ok after first aid and seeing it repeatedly, but weak on pathology still. Was reassured that my scores were ok but I really just felt dumb.
Fourth week - I decided I needed to learn pathology. Set out a 8 day schedule to work through all of pathoma + intro duke pathoma cards + 1 block of uworld daily. This was very ambitious and did not succeed (especially in keeping up with Anki cards) but at least covered cardio, renal, pulm, endo, GI in full and did cards at least twice. I do think this helped. Also started looking through mehlman risk factor, neuroanatomy, msk, and Endo pdfs. Dirty med was great for a biochem review. Kept memorizing a ton of random mnemonics from dirty or first aid using Anki. Uworld blocks could hit 70s pretty frequently.
Fifth week - was really considering pushing. Scores were ok but confidence was in the gutter. I was hitting the equilibrium block of info coming in as fast as I was forgetting it, and realized I just had to go for it. I knew I was weak in some concepts (ex. Msk) but I felt like it wasn’t worth it to me to go through it all and forget something else. Just kept doing uworld to try to get my percentage up and cuz I didn’t know what else to do. Did some sketchy pharm I was missing (lipid drugs, migraines, etc.) since was missing questions on them. Was really only keeping up with mnemonic, anking incorrect cards, and sketchy pharm at this point.
Test - around 3 hours of sleep cuz schedule was shit sleeping at 2am everyday. Though I’m used to low sleep before tests so was fine. Exam felt like uworld blocks. I felt really bad in the 1st, 3rd, 4th blocks since I had flag streaks of 6-7 questions in a row, but I was also not remembering the gimme questions most likely that I was getting right. About 10ish questions that I knew I missed or was like “oh I should study this” and never did like a few days ago. Overall didn’t feel terrible but didn’t feel good and was not confident I passed.
I will say trusting scores is harder than it seems, especially when we see people with good scores fail online. Just understand that there are a lot of uncontrolled factors with anything you see online, but if you are taking your tests in as controlled circumstances as possible then you should try and trust them as much as possible. For people cramming this exam in a few weeks, we are not going to know everything - just be as confident as you can in what you are good in and that will go a long way. And remember that 85%+ people pass this thing, and (if possible in your circumstance) it is not hard to give yourself a fighting chance with a few weeks of full-time committed effort.
Good luck everyone now or in the future. We can get through this. Let me know if I can help in any way.

Hi guys, I would love to ask a few things about Malaysia’s system regarding the custody of orphans. DISCLAIMER: I never plan to take custody of the children.
My friend and his two siblings lost their parents. My friend is 19 and his brothers are 11 and 13. They are Muslim. So, their convert aunt took custody. Usually, the kids come to my place on weekends to study because I teach math. FYI, they never stay overnight. We are pretty close though. Then, all of a sudden, the kids stopped coming to my place on weekends for math lessons. And the guardian (their aunt) refused to accept any form of donation from me. Every month, my family sends money to their eldest son (19) RM 1000 monthly, because it is well Known in town that the aunt is coming from very poor background and her husband only work as a taxi driver but hey said I have hidden intentions. They never acknowledge my kindness but always praise their Muslim friends for helping even slightly. They locked the door on me when I come to their place to donate items typically include rice, sugar, cooking oil, eggs, milk, meat, corn, cooking fuel, and salt. as if I did something wrong. Their reasons:

1. They said that the Department of Social Welfare (JKM) is investigating them and are scared I will convert their kids to another religion because I am non-Muslim.
2. They said they are afraid I will report to JKM. I don't know what I would report.
3. The kids told me they are very stressed because they are not allowed to hang out with anyone. I never argue or anything. I comply with the guardian’s rules. But I still listen to the kids' complaints. I feel so bad because I cannot do anything. I actually told them if they want to hang out with me they can bring their 19 years old brother along because i am close with him too.
4. Now, they took their phone away, saying they are afraid JKM will look through their phone.
5. They don’t allow me to even take them out to eat or shop for school necessities, fear or JKM finding out.
6. They said they afraid of terhutang budi with non muslim. :(

I want to know, is JKM really that strict? I want to know if the background of the guardian is also being investigated if they apply for custody rights? Since the aunt has a child who is infamous here for dealing with drugs living at home. I wonder if she is afraid I will report on that. What are the things investigated by the JKM?
Anyone who knows about welfare matters, please enlighten me. I am so confused. I feel like I did something bad.

Many times I’ve tried to stop drinking coffee as the first hour in the morning before the first one kicks in is absolute hell, but I failed every time. Since beginning Mounjaro, I’ve reduced my coffee intake from 4 cups per day to one without trying, and I’m finding that one difficult to stomach. I’m forcing myself to have it just to prevent caffeine withdrawal.
It got me thinking that maybe Mounjaro isn’t a weight loss drug, but an anti-addiction drug. A quick Google found that it is also being studied in people with all kinds of addictions.
Has anyone else found it gives them better control over everything?

Pharmacist mailing lists have become indispensable tools for healthcare outreach in today's digital age. With the power to connect pharmaceutical companies, healthcare providers, and other stakeholders, these lists facilitate targeted communication and engagement like never before.

Introduction to Pharmacist Mailing Lists

In the realm of healthcare marketing, reaching the right audience with the right message is paramount. Pharmacist mailing lists provide a direct line of communication to pharmacists, who play a crucial role in patient care and medication management. These lists contain contact information such as email addresses, phone numbers, and mailing addresses, allowing marketers to connect with pharmacists across different settings, including retail pharmacies, hospitals, and clinics.

Benefits of Pharmacist Mailing Lists

Improved Targeting

One of the primary advantages of pharmacist mailing lists is their ability to target specific segments of the healthcare market. Whether it's by geographic location, practice setting, or specialty area, marketers can tailor their messages to resonate with pharmacists who are most likely to be interested in their products or services.

Enhanced Communication

Effective communication is key to building relationships and driving engagement. Pharmacist mailing lists enable marketers to deliver timely and relevant content directly to their target audience, whether it's information about new medications, industry updates, or educational resources.

Increased Engagement

By engaging pharmacists through targeted campaigns, marketers can foster deeper connections and drive action. Whether it's attending a webinar, downloading a whitepaper, or participating in a survey, pharmacist mailing lists provide opportunities for meaningful interactions that can lead to valuable insights and business opportunities.

How Pharmacist Mailing Lists Work

Data Collection

Building a quality pharmacist mailing list starts with accurate and up-to-date data. Marketers leverage various sources, such as professional associations, licensing boards, and third-party providers, to gather information about pharmacists and their contact details.

Segmentation

Once the data is collected, it's essential to segment the list based on relevant criteria, such as location, specialty, or prescribing behavior. This allows marketers to tailor their messages and offers to different groups of pharmacists, increasing the likelihood of engagement and conversion.

Personalization

Personalization is key to capturing the attention of busy healthcare professionals. By addressing pharmacists by name and tailoring content to their interests and needs, marketers can create more meaningful and impactful communications that resonate with their audience.

Applications of Pharmacist Mailing Lists

Pharmaceutical Marketing

Pharmacist mailing lists are widely used in pharmaceutical marketing to promote new drugs, educate healthcare providers, and drive prescription sales. Whether it's launching a new medication or raising awareness about a specific disease state, these lists provide a direct channel to reach pharmacists and influence prescribing behavior.

Continuing Education

In addition to marketing purposes, pharmacist mailing lists are also valuable for delivering continuing education opportunities. By partnering with accredited providers, pharmaceutical companies can offer webinars, conferences, and other educational resources to help pharmacists stay informed and up-to-date on the latest developments in their field.

Professional Networking

Pharmacist mailing lists serve as a platform for professional networking and collaboration. Whether it's sharing best practices, seeking advice from peers, or exploring career opportunities, pharmacists use these lists to connect with colleagues and expand their professional network.

Challenges and Solutions

Data Quality

Maintaining data quality is a common challenge when managing pharmacist mailing lists. To ensure accuracy and relevance, marketers must regularly update and cleanse their databases, removing duplicate records, correcting errors, and verifying contact information.

Compliance Issues

Compliance with regulations such as HIPAA and GDPR is another consideration when using pharmacist mailing lists for healthcare outreach. Marketers must ensure that their campaigns adhere to relevant privacy and data protection laws, obtaining consent where required and respecting individuals' preferences regarding communication.

Strategies for Success

Despite the challenges, there are strategies that marketers can employ to maximize the effectiveness of pharmacist mailing lists. This includes adopting a multi-channel approach, integrating email marketing with other digital and offline channels, and leveraging analytics to track and optimize campaign performance.

Case Studies

Successful Campaigns

Several case studies demonstrate the power of pharmacist mailing lists in driving successful healthcare outreach campaigns. From increasing brand awareness to driving prescription sales, these examples highlight the tangible impact that targeted communication can have on business outcomes.

Impact on Healthcare Outreach

By leveraging pharmacist mailing lists effectively, healthcare organizations can extend their reach and impact across the healthcare ecosystem. Whether it's promoting preventive care, supporting medication adherence, or advancing public health initiatives, these lists play a vital role in driving positive health outcomes for patients and communities.

Future Trends

Automation and AI

As technology continues to evolve, automation and artificial intelligence are poised to transform pharmacist mailing lists and healthcare outreach strategies. From personalized messaging algorithms to predictive analytics, these advancements will enable marketers to deliver more targeted and efficient campaigns that resonate with their audience.

Integration with Telemedicine

The rise of telemedicine presents new opportunities for integrating pharmacist mailing lists into virtual healthcare delivery models. By connecting pharmacists with patients and providers in real-time, these lists can facilitate medication management, counseling, and adherence support, ultimately improving patient outcomes and satisfaction.

Conclusion

In conclusion, pharmacist mailing lists are powerful tools for healthcare outreach that enable targeted communication, engagement, and collaboration. By leveraging these lists effectively, marketers can connect with pharmacists, drive meaningful interactions, and ultimately, improve patient care and outcomes.

I hate to make really long posts, but i think without context, the weight of my questions will not make sense. If you don't want to read the whole thing, I understand, but PLEASE don't comment if you are only going to read the last 4 sentences...
Pre 2008, She was kind of a gothic girl, attempting to recover from some questionable teenage choices. Was forced to go to Catholic school and mass until she was in HS, at which point she went to a public school and got pretty crazy. She had vaguely religious beliefs and morels (for the most part) but was 100% non practicing.
I was NOT religious growing up "at all". My dad was a brutal SOB, that was verbally and occasionally physically abusive to everything in his path. I did spend 6 months living with my sister and we went to "super church bible study service" on Saturdays. As I got older I started to have a non denominational blind faith.
We meet in 2005. By 2008 marriage was on the table and even though we had been 100% non practicing, she insisted that we get married in the catholic church. I had no issues with it. We did the classes, attended mass, and got married. Almost immediately after the honeymoon... she decided that she didn't really like going to a catholic church and after a little church shopping, we stopped going to any church.
Early 15 - 6 years married, IMO, everything in our lives up to this point has been going well. Of course we had some bumps in the road, but nothing major and no lasting issues. Now, she is pregnant and about to pop with out first child.
After my son is born she got very weird. For one... she stopped wanting to have sex, and previously that was a very common way for us to bond. I thought she may be having some PPDepression and thought nothing much of it. She took to parenting a baby really well, no issues there. Around the one year mark she started going out with "work friends", not coming home till midnight or 2am. She had NEVER done anything like this before, and I my mind started to wonder and wander....
2016, She came home drunk after a night of hanging out with "work friends". Now, keep in mind, usually she would come home half intoxicated and either jump into the shower or go straight to bed... but this night she came home and wanted to have sex (with protection).
And she is pregnant again.
Sex again goes full stop and she did not manage this pregnancy as good as the first. With our son or the unborn, but our relationship was a dumpster fire.... I change jobs so to could work normal hours and be more available for my son and her. Baby girl is born.
Despite a near immaculate conception, I was hoping a second child would make her happier... It didn't. It made it worse. Everything in our relationship is still BAD. She was so distant that I questioned if the girl was even mine. All the circumstances combined... secretly did a paternity test and the girl was/is mine. That put my mind somewhat at ease, but things were still rough... but about to get worse.
2017, Even though our marriage didn't feel like a marriage anymore, we were not outright fighting a lot. She was just very distant and had this "ora" of hate towards me. This was beginning of the inevitable end. She tells me that she can't stand sleeping in the same bed as me anymore.... considering she was only like 4 months post birth, and still nursing, it was stupid for here to go downstairs and sleep on the couch. So being the nice guy... I did.
Days turned into weeks, and I was really starting to struggle with the situation as a whole. But I kept giving her space... talking with her when she felt up to it. Weeks turned into months. The couch turned into a bed... in the basement. Months turned into years... but i don't want to get ahead of myself.
Over 17/18 she started getting very dark. Like I could see that she was having a psychotic break. I talked with her parents and they said she was diagnosed bipolar as a tween. I tried to be supportive. I tried getting her to go to counseling, with me, without me, anywhere, anyhow... she refused. We were still having regular conversations after the kids went to bed... where she mostly went over everything I had ever done wrong... beating me into the ground... I would apologize over and over. Sometimes it was "leaving the seat up that morning"... sometimes it was for some stupid thing I did 5 years prior.
Note, during our marriage, I never drank, did drugs, gambled, cheated, etc. I wasn't abusive in any way; quite the opposite actually, I was and in some ways still am very passive and let people walk all over me because I am so viscerally opposed to turning into my dad, that I tend to tolerate being mis treated rather than reacting to it.
SO over time, these discussions became less frequent but more toxic. They were more of an opportunity for her to verbally attack me for all kinds of things.. even things that were not real... or did not happen the way she remembers. She told me she didn't ever really love me, and that she lied, and she should have never married me, etc... Like really hateful stuff. I was seeing a counselor at this point because this was destroying me. I started thinking about divorce, but I kept hoping she would pull through. The conversations eventually stopped and we were just two disconnected people living in the same house.
As the kids started to grow into toddlers, she started to show anger towards them. Not like in daily life, but anytime they did something wrong. Now, admittedly, I am HYPER sensitive to this because of my childhood. She was becoming verbally abusive to them. Maybe not with the words chosen, but she would outright SCREAM at them... like "loose her shit, scream at them" for 5 minutes. It got to the point I was recording it.
After about 5 HUGE screaming fights with me about it... (I was threatening to call CPS on her and divorce her), she broke down and accepted that she was doing wrong.
Over the next few months, she started wanting to got to church. She was screaming at the kids less. While me and her were still just room mates, she seemed to be healing. As months turned into years, she continued to treat the kids better, and at this point we were going to church fairly regularly as a family. You would think this is where things get better... and you'd be wrong.
By 2021, she had dove 1000% into religion. And only practices the most extreme parts of almost every Christian based religion. No Pork, kosher only, All holidays are pagan. Mothers day, fathers day, birthdays, pagan. Christmas and easter are not guaranteed correct dates, pagan. Speaking in tongues... like anything that you can think of that a non Christian would call crazy... she does that.
Meanwhile she has become more and more toxic towards me. From not letting me spend time with the kids alone; to yelling at me, calling me a liar, evil, toxic, etc... even in front of our kids.
About 6 months ago her delusions skyrocketed. Behind closed doors, she believes that she is a prophetess. And she is blaming me for things that never happened. One example, she came running into the room, yelling at me "because I just called him stupid".... me and my son looked at each other, like what the heck is she talking about? I never called him stupid. We were talking about something silly he saw in a video. I told him "that's kinda stupid, don't ever do anything like that". A specific example... tonight I am tucking my daughter in... after out hugs and kisses, I am walking out and stumbling over things on the floor... I say to her "honey, you should focus on cleaning in here this weekend, the mess is getting a bit ridiculous". She smiles, throws me the "i love you sign" and says, "I know dad, I will".... and before my daughter could even finish her words, my wife is yelling from another room "how dare you call her ridiculous?". She comes trudging into the room, and shake my head and retreat back to my basement... she follows me the entire way, yelling at me for being rede and disrespectful to her daughter. Telling me that she will stand up for her daughter.... the entire way back to the basement.. , for something that didn't even happen.
But I digress, this kind of stuff has been happening more regularly. About 3 months ago, I put cameras up in the common areas of our house, because I am honestly scared that she is going to accuse me of doing or saying something that never happened. Something that she could scream from the roof tops. Something she could say in front to a police officer or a judge to get a divorce and full custody. I have used these cameras and recordings to prove to her, on several occasions, that she is wrong about a specific situation or downright delusional with others. And while she initially seemed receptive to "being called out", anymore she finds any proven inaccuracies to simply be an attack on her.
I am getting verbally assaulted over something that didn't happen... Shortly later, I pull the video and PROVE that she is wrong about it, and she STILL denies it or downplays it... I get angry... then that turns into her claiming that I am being verbally abusive TO HER!
This week, I told her that I am actively filing for divorce - not as a threat, but because I am actively working with an attorney, gathering the paperwork, and I am divorcing her.
Expecting her to attempt to reconcile, she leaves me a one page letter that has me question her sanity. I write her a 5 page letter in response, I clipped the last page, it is all text but NSFW.
I am using an imgur link of the letter and response, as posting pics is questionable in the rules. https://imgur.com/a/n6pJOBv
I guess my main question is: WHAT THE HECK am I doing, is she doing, are we doing... ? Am I okay or justified in getting a divorce? Should I feel bad about wanting to get full custody? Could her issues be a mental disorder or should I just "chalk it up" to religious freedom? I am questioning MY faith completely because of her actions justified by her faith. - How am I supposed to get past this?
Honestly, I am not even sure what to ask... I think I am just looking for approval or understanding... I would appreciate any constructive input.

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A group of Sprilnav had entered the room, dragged claws bearing paint across Kashaunta and Penny's faces, and left again. Another group of Sprilnav, this time Elders, had entered the room, leading to a hologram forming around Penny and Kashaunta to hide their faces behind perfect masks.
They carried a long black box on their shoulders. Kashaunta approached their kneeling forms, unlatching the box with her claws. Special sounds chimed from electronic locks, and the box flipped open, revealing a new Soul Blade. It was Azeri's Soul Blade, or the one he'd once owned at least. Given the new information Penny had on them, the sword wasn't truly 'his' in a literal sense.
They had then moved to a more central room on the flagship, complete with a massive kitchen, bedroom, and entertainment room. Kashaunta's quarters were lavish, though they were not as flush with finery and gold as Penny would have expected.
Penny wore Kashaunta's Soul Blade on her hip. The ancient weapon didn't seem to have the mind-altering effects the last one did. But it was beyond powerful, for sure. It also came with a stealth coating that could be activated to hide its presence.
Azeri's Soul Blade, on the other hand, definitely affected her.
Penny could hear the faint sounds of distant voices echoing in her thoughts. She could sense Cardi and Nilnacrawla in her mind more clearly as if she'd finally put on a set of glasses after not having them her entire life. So many things were clearer now, but so many weren't. Kashaunta had made a sacred agreement with her, at least in Sprilnav culture.
Backed by the Progenitors. All of them, apparently. And they were all sworn to silence, which Nilnacrawla and Kashaunta assured her would also include Twilight and Nova. She could understand that, but Nova's actions toward Penny in the past made her wary of relying on him for anything related to her safety.
And it was before the Judgment, now in nine days. Kashaunta's VIs had gathered the data, ordered it, and formulated responses. She'd designed them to sound like real people and real things that would be said, not just decent scripts with odd lexicon and grammatical habits.
"So," Penny said, looking at Kashaunta relaxing beside her. The Elder's carefree stance didn't fool Penny as to what had just happened. It had looked rushed, but she knew there was a larger purpose behind it than she believed. "The Pact. Were you truly this desperate to regain my trust?"
"I was," Kashaunta admitted. "And am. I have a tendency to manipulate people around me. This has made me good at being able to tell when a relationship is falling apart. Were I not to do something this extreme, we would have continued to fall apart, and eventually the rift would have been too large for even this to bridge.
I do not expect forgiveness or for you to understand my viewpoint and ideas. I have destroyed nations and entire civilizations. I have spent my fair share of time in evil, and use the threat of who I was and who I am against those who slight me. Reputation is important among our species, more so than anything but power. But they are linked.
A reputation of weakness will never exist with a person of strength. If it develops, the Elders will pile onto that unfortunate soul to plunder the riches they believe can no longer be protected. And once you fall, it is impossible to rise again. We do need each other, Penny. Perhaps you do not agree, yet, but this goes beyond the Judgment."
Penny wanted to argue. She wanted to listen to the voices demanding her hatred of the Elder before her- wait, what?
Penny frowned. She focused on them, and they appeared. A cacophony of voices, all Sprilnav in origin. They were definitely here and worryingly a part of her psychic energy. It almost seemed like they were the voices of those she'd freed. Which wouldn't make sense unless... her title was actually bearing conceptual power.
She supposed that it was possible then.
"Kashaunta," Penny said.
"Yes?"
"Why do you have faith in me, when, as you say, so many others have failed?"
"Because you possess Cardinality. You possess Humanity. You even have a Progenitor Title, though it is only a budding one. Your approach to this, besides a few mistakes on our part, is remarkably sound. You have moved away from hatred of the Sprilnav to that of Elders. And you have moved away from hatred of Elders and Progenitors to that of certain Elders and Progenitors, which I understand.
Ultimately, you have me convinced that you do not want to carry out a war of vengeance against me and my kin for the actions we did before your species had a name. I know it is difficult to overcome hatred, and more so with a voice in your head telling you to distrust all we Elders say and do. And I believe you can convince the Alliance to restrict its war to methods that are not as destructive."
Penny thought it was odd how much Kashaunta was stressing it. Either the Alliance wasn't considered a threat to the Sprilnav or it was. Kashaunta seemed to suggest it was, perhaps, to flatter Penny somehow. She didn't exactly buy it but would let it play out.
It would be important for Penny to learn more about the Elder's viewpoint before the Judgment to exploit it among other Elders to help win the Judgment. She'd have to portray herself and the Alliance as weak, which meant learning more about Sprilnav technology and power. The briefings from the last meetings before the previous Judgment had been enlightening on that front. But Penny wanted the best shot she could have on this.
"Such as?"
"Culture war."
"That has a certain meaning among my species," Penny said. "I am not sure if it translates correctly."
"I want your Alliance to begin to turn the population against slavery. Just that. Go no further. If you do that, the Elders will fight back. This will escalate, and the list of grievances will grow. We will have rebellions, and they can win with my help."
"And what comes next?"
"I take power, of course. I do not purge the Sprilnav who rose to the top, but reward them. I bind them by respect and loyalty instead of fear and hatred. Objectively, it will be better to have a single unified state than a disparate mess of warring territories. Quality of life, quality of death, and everything in between. We can go further, if you like.
Turning the Collective into literal heaven for those who die, where they can return to real bodies as often as they want for free. I can extend this to other species and, over thousands of years, wear away the animosity between the Sprilnav and the rest of the galaxy. I distribute gifts, I lower taxes, and use android labor to replace slavery entirely. Would you not agree that this is better?"
"I am not sure. How would you maintain the state, when threats come from within and without?"
"Limits on power, separation of branches of government. Police forces, military forces. We have police trained to de-escalate situations, even when they are armed with riot shields or actual guns. There will obviously be some requirement for state violence, but I will lower it as far as possible."
"There will be those who wish to be independent."
"And they can be."
"You are not concerned about that?" Penny asked.
"With even just the Autonomous Peoples' Stars, independence is risky. Dangerous. People do not start those movements because if they succeed, they get invaded by a border power. Earth has seen that happen in its history, particularly with Europe and Asia. Luna would have seen it as well by now, if not for the First Contact. The problem is the power disparity. Going from the passive backing of 500 thousand planets and a central militarized state to that of maybe 4 or 5 planets with disjointed connections and only garrison supplies is a massive drop."
"But with your plan, there would be no border powers."
"There would be, of course," Kashaunta said. "There must be. Nations without a significant outside threat, that is at least somewhat credible, have a more difficult time staying united. Without a 'them' it is more difficult to define an 'us,' as we know very well."
"That is quite a cold way of looking at reality."
"Those who do otherwise are smears of gore amongst the black of space, or rotting in the ground of their home planets. Elders do not remain Elders by stupidity alone. Eventually, a few lessons must be learned."
"Must?"
"Must, even if they are later forgotten."
Kashaunta let out a sigh. "You and I, Penny. We are vastly different people. I admire your idealism, and I envy it. But when it comes to control of societies and curation of national identities, I have a vast array of experience."
"You do," Penny agreed. "The Pact says we should not lie to each other, so I will no longer dance around my reasons for my misgivings. I do not trust you because you are everything that has ruined the fortunes of my species in the past, often promising things like you do. Security before freedom, usually. You are rich. You are very far above most Sprilnav and even most Elders. You are a politician and a state leader. History tells me to be wary of such people, especially when they possess high amounts of power. Authoritarian countries can, with proper management, outpace those which are not by refusing to limit themselves by morals and ethics.
You are a queen, a monarch. This title goes back to the days of barbarity among our kind, when we believed people were superior based on bloodlines and genetics, sometimes to the extreme of actual inbreeding. You are highly experienced with manipulation, having billions of years of experience. I likely would not know whether you are manipulating me, and even Nilnacrawla has billions of years less experience with Elders than you would on account of his separation from Sprilnav society for so long.
I have no other trustworthy sources for what you say and do. I am surrounded only by enemies, neutral people, and you and Lecalicus alone as actual allies. Truth be told, there is nothing that will stop you from going back on all that you say because people like you have made promises not to before. And they did it anyway.
Companies. Nations. People. With a galaxy full of sentient minds all seemingly built on the same energy and manners of thinking, I see just another politician trying to get in good with me because I can get her what she wants. I fear that, Kashaunta. I fear it a lot. More than I have ever said and ever shown. It is a fear so visceral it colors my view of your entire species.
Because if you've lived a billion years, who's to say you haven't done this all before? How many aliens you've offered this honor, only to cast aside when they die fighting impossible enemies? And yes, my fear of you is that you will betray me. That is a deep-seated and personal matter that I will not explore at this time, but betrayal is something I guard against with all my might.
I hate that you have so much power over me, that I know it, and that you know it. You could enslave me for the next ten days, and I'd do it, to save my species. The Judgment trial is another way of showing the powerlessness of the galaxy before the Sprilnav, the powerlessness of the Alliance before the Sprilnav, and me before you, Justicar, and Yasihaut. Because guess what? I can win this. It will be hard, but I can do it because I set my mind to it, and my mind is my will, and my will is my iron fortress, my gauntleted fist, and my beating heart.
I can, I will, I must. But through all of this, guess what happens if I win the Judgment? Yasihaut files another one. I am strong, Kashaunta. Stronger than any human in history. But even now, inside your sanctum, inside the greatest ship I have ever seen, I remain powerless against the might of your people and your laws. I hear you talk of millennia and galaxies and think of how much I have struggled over the mere ten thousand star systems of the Alliance and this single planet's slave problem. There's billions more.
I have fought against odds beyond comprehension, but even now, I have to break bread with my enemy so that I can continue to survive in the system they built. Because with all that you are, it is impossible for me to see you as anything but an enemy. I cannot understand the value of the Pact. I can only guess at it. But the galaxy's weight is resting upon my shoulders, and my back is bowing. My spine... is breaking. How much more? How many more?
I hate what this universe is. I hate how it is structured. I hate the concepts, the Progenitors, the speeding space entities, and whoever else controls it. For a person to even condone the mindless suffering in this universe is an act of utter insanity. When I see you in your ivory castle, perched upon your mountains of gold, I think of the poor. I think of the justice you deserve that I cannot carry out because of the very power you wield. Do you know how angry that makes me? Do you know that my dreams are still sometimes haunted by Yasihaut's torture? I am a broken person, Kashaunta.
Broken by the weight of who I am and all I must do. But you, you get to sit here and eat, oblivious or indifferent to my suffering. Because you cannot stand to look down for fear of seeing the filth in your claws. I dream of your death, Kashaunta. And a thousand more. I want to tear down your civilization and all others like it. I want to kill, and maim, and murder. I want to be that indomitable power which all others fear and respect.
I want to mount Yasihaut's head on a spear and shove another between Nova's eyes for the crime of daring to use their ultimate power against me. And I want to kill you, too, for being the one I am forced to rely on to survive. For your own power being what forces me to bow and scrape to yet another master. This is why I bear my hatred for your kin, Kashaunta. Why I hate the Elders, the Progenitors, all of it. Because of the inherent unfairness of the galaxy you have built and the banal and insidious evil you have built it upon. I hate you, this galaxy, this universe.
Because you all will never get the justice you deserve, because I cannot repay the sheer weight of atrocity hanging from your heads. And to make you feel what you all deserve, would naturally require me to have the same punishment. Because I can't win without sinking to your level, either by being one of you Elders or having to use your ill-gotten power for my own benefit. I am climbing the mountain, the air is cold, the night is dark, the wind is blowing, and the ice is slick. I stand on the precipice of death, as does all I have known and loved.
To save them, I must use you, an Elder buoyed by an ocean of blood, merely so I can float up a little higher, perhaps to the next cliff or perhaps to that mountain peak. I believe I am fighting for the people. For freedom, justice, and the rights of my kind to self-determination. And to do so, I must sacrifice my own freedom. My own justice. And my own self-determination. All for winning a pointless case, against a stupid Elder who I'd press against a block of red-hot metal, just so I could enjoy her screams. I was a woman, once. A simple woman, a good human.
Now I am a monster. I have killed. I have avoided killing when I should not have. Yasihaut is still alive. Ikirshi is still alive. Tiglath is still alive. Nova is still alive. Azeri is still alive, too, even if his name is dead. Look what I am, and what I've had to do to get here. What will I have to do to continue? I am evil now. Because I will compromise my principles, and claim to fight for freedom while happily breaking bread with an Elder who openly espouses galactic domination. And I can't even say no, for fear of what that would mean for those I know and love.
I am broken, but I can still move. I can still think. And I can still hate. None of you have the right to stand against justice, but I do not have the power to make you kneel to it. Instead, I am being forced into this yet again. I deserve to die for what I am and what I have done, but I cannot because of who and what I fight for. I will only descend into worse depravity. When I am free of the Judgment, I will likely kill the slavers and enjoy it. Because that is what I am becoming now. I'm becoming you. Just as you said I would, proving that I'm powerless even against that."
Thick tears fell from Penny's eyes. With no one else but the Elder in the room and a currently fulfilled promise of no cameras, sound recording devices, and not even guards, only Kashaunta would know how much it pained Penny to say all this aloud. The pain doubled her over as the weight of her realization came to her.
Kashaunta let her be, waiting for Penny's tears to finally run dry. It was an ugly thing. All of the past trauma and misery came roaring back, drowning Penny in a sea of torment and suffering. Cardi and Nilncrawla were powerless to stop it. Her soul ached. Her mind shook.
At least, Penny drew a rasping breath. "So. Now you know, Kashaunta."
"I do," the Elder said. "I can tell you have many feelings on the matter. We don't have to continue discussion."
"You're not upset?"
"No," Kashaunta said. "Not at all. Why should I be? You bared your soul to me in this truth, Penny. Knowing the power I do hold over you, you did so anyway. This only proves that I was right to trust you and your strength."
"This isn't strength. I sat here and cried like a little girl."
"It took strength for you to admit how you feel and why, especially to me. To trust that I would listen, and to express exactly why you wish for me and my kin to die."
"You seem... oddly okay with me wanting to kill you."
"Because I have been surrounded by people who wanted to kill me before. Only one of them, in the long history of my life, admitted such to this extent before making their attempts, and that is you. I understand and respect your motive for wanting me dead, actually. I would feel the same way in your position. You are right. The way things are is not fair, and is not just. I also know that you won't kill me if you have the chance."
"Why do you think that?"
"Well, you do not seem the type to kill your allies, unless they directly betray you. I will not pretend that I am innocent. But do you truly think that you will be able to look me in the eyes, your main supporter among all my kind, and stab me in the heart? Because if you do kill me, I would at least request the honor of you doing it with your own hands. Or even the Soul Blade, if you wish to be poetic about it."
"So no lobbing asteroids of antimatter at you, then?" Penny laughed.
"I would think not, though if we are at that point, the future is lost anyway. To grapple with your past, present and future is a part of life, Penny. This right here is the reason I made the Pact with you. Because you are an honest person, with the will to do what is necessary, and the power to carry it out."
"But you'll be preparing contingencies to kill me, won't you?"
"No," Kashaunta said. "We are past that now."
"You act as if your life is already ending. A once in a billion years Pact with a human, acting like you won't protect yourself from a person who wants to murder you, and being uncaring about your legacy. Why?"
"Because it is you or nothing, Penny. I have lived over 13 billion years. I have had more than a full life. I have made my peace with death. Not the man himself, obviously, but the idea of it. We stand at the crossroads. I will wait no longer for the rot to keep spreading."
"So you will back me in the Judgment, then."
"More than that," Kashaunta said. "I am willing to be your lawyer, and represent you in this trial. If you accept, that is."
"I would, but I must ask you one question. Do you even care about the Alliance beyond what we could do to help you?"
"Yes, and no. I care about their idealism, and that they have AIs with high levels of cognitive power. I care that they recognise the value of Sprilnav lives as more than collateral damage, which is why their war plans only blow up our planets if they lose and are about to go extinct. Humanity and the hivemind are mainly valuable to me because they are valuable to you, the same with the rest of the Alliance. But they to have the ability to put a decent bureaucracy in place, through Phoebe and Edu'frec, or even the hivemind if it expands."
"Would you care if we lost?"
"Yes, though I can force myself not to if I must."
It seemed like an honest assessment of the situation. There was one more thing.
"Are you actually a lawyer, then? And are you skilled with Judticar's laws? It's quite touching that you're still willing to vouch for me, but if you don't have any sort of law degree, I can't exactly accept that."
"Yes to both. While I don't have an Eonic degree, I do have several thousand years of legal studies, with about a hundred in Justicar law."
"Would that actually be sufficient?"
"Yes. When we Sprilnav say we have put a hundred years into something, that is a raw time. It does not include sleeping, eating, vacations, and so on. My implant tells me I spent 181 years specifically studying Justicar law."
"How did you have time?"
"Delegation is a valuable skill for the sanity of country leaders."
"I suppose," Penny said. "Do you think that you and I appearing together in court would be detrimental to my case?"
"The only avenue they could pursue is that you've 'turned' me to your side. But seeing as I am extremely powerful and have refused bribes of inconceivable amounts of wealth, that narrative will be poorly accepted by all but the most biased of Judges. Or High Judges, as the case will be. Unfortunately, I do not qualify as either a Judge or High Judge, but my credentials and power are more than sufficient for them to be unable to block my ability to represent you. You have, as Nilnacrawla may have told you, already paid me for your services. Your linear singularities are more stable than I thought."
"So the money finally shows itself again," Penny smiled.
Kashaunta shared her grin. "Yes. That it does. You are surprisingly profitable as a bonus."
"I'm sure everything else I do is the bonus. Like making the other nations end slavery."
"Well, that would actually make them more productive."
"So why..."
"Elders love feeling powerful. They love having power over others, and being able to show it. They are generally insecure, their brains polluted by eons of paranoia and propaganda. The weakness of Elders is something that the powers that be use to exploit them."
"And your ego?"
"They have to prove their superiority to themselves. I live and breathe it with every step I take in this galaxy."
Penny sighed. "That is an impressive level of narcissism."
"That word didn't translate."
"It is a way to say a person admires themself to an unnatural and unhealthy degree."
"Then it would describe me, except the degree is quite healthy and natural. Elders' egos also help to keep us going. Reputation isn't just an external motivation."
Penny nodded. "We still must discuss your approach toward people in general later. But we have other priorities, don't we?"
"The Judgment," Kashaunta agreed. "You and Yasihaut will attend the Fort Court, and will be even better protected than last time. The Underground beneath it is continually pulverized, as it sits on a mostly active volcanic system, with lava outlets designed to ensure tunneling is impossible. The mindscape side fortifications are similarly impressive, and Justicar has spent a considerable amount of money on ensuring the security of this Judgment.
His reputation hinges on it greatly, even more so as he is there in person as a Judge. This makes him more vulnerable than usual. But if you kill his body, he will live. I do not suggest you try it, however. What I aim to do is present an argument that the premise of the Judgment trial is flawed, as there is limited legal proof that you and the Alliance are a threat to the Sprilnav.
To do this, I have already helped to secure two things for you. The treaty with Valisada and the Pact of Blades with me. These items will ensure the common scrutiny and arguments used against aliens will be ineffective. You have proven yourself capable of adhering to and participating in our customs, especially the ones related to trust and binding agreements. You also have wisely avoided killing any Sprilnav for a while. This, especially in the context of the slaves and the 85th Grand Fleet, will be massively beneficial to your argument.
Beyond this, I also have an array of legal evidence to challenge Yasihaut if she brings up your hatred of her, or the previous Judgment's outcome, or the battle that crippled the Progenitors. Indrafabar will be helpful to us, as he will defend the honor of his kin. He will not allow the argument of you being as strong as the Progenitors be seriously considered. No matter what you say or what people think, this will be a question of whether you can convince Indrafabar and Justicar of your ability to be peaceful, and behind that the Alliance.
You will find it harder to defend the rhetoric the Alliance has put out, but I have secured this portion of the Judgment with my defensive agreements with them as well. You both are anchored to me and my reputation too strongly for any of them to ignore, which is yet another reason why I am hoping to help defend you in person."
"So you are staking your own reputation on me, too. Is that another reason you did the Pact?"
"It is. The reputational blow losing this Judgment could have will not be enough to topple me. But it is a catalyst. It is capable of starting a chain of downfall events that lead to my dethroning or even my death. I am aware of this and am doing what I can to stave off that process and shore up all my defenses. I also have a lawyer with an Eonic degree in Justicar law who will be the main defender of your argument.
My presence in the court will be for your protection and as a reminder of the fact that you have a backer, and that backer is me. I expect Yasihaut's counterparts to undertake a similar process, though she will find it easier due to her being an Elder. I will introduce you to him in ten minutes."
"That is very kind of you, Kashaunta. I know that we have had our differences, and that your past is quite a contentious thing. But if I put all of that aside, and look at you as you are here, and now, I am grateful that you are doing all of this for me and my people. I do not know whether I can repay you for the Pact of Blades, but your conviction and intelligence are traits I admire."
"You are welcome, Penny. I know I cannot atone. But I will help you build a better galaxy, just as it should be."
Penny patted her on the hed, and turned her gaze to the opposite wall.
"I'm afraid," she admitted.
"Fear in this situation is natural. There is no shame in it. Your strength will allow you to work through it. Whether it is the strength you carry in your soul, or that which your father and Cardinality bring with them. You can do this, Penny. We can win."
"And if Yasihaut files another Judgment?"
Kashaunta gave her a dark grin. "I have a plan for that, too. When the Pact of Blades is revealed in the court, my abilities to aid you will widen considerably. They will understand, and if not, Indrafabar will teach them. He was there, after all."
"And this isn't witness tampering or whatever?"
"That doesn't exist here," Kashaunta said. "Justicar's laws do not include that. He enforces that by his soft power. It makes things more fair between Elders, but not between Elders and others. As is by design."
"Kashaunta," Penny said. "While you are an okay person, by your current deeds, I can't really say I'm not going to take the guy with a billion years of legal education over your scant hundred."
"I do not need to be your main lawyer, I just need to have the job listed as such in the courtroom. If he requires it, the lawyer will speak over me and you in all matters."
"You and I, you mean?"
"I do not mean," Kashaunta said. "My language does not always follow your grammatical rules."
"Speaking of that, during the Pact, you spoke a language we couldn't translate for a bit."
"Can you repeat it?"
"'Eis nama kaste Penny Balica, sun lanci Dorima Kashaunta. Ko'ri, lanci nupa bes na Dorima'Pecunyanova. Sp'rkial'nova. Homo Sapiens.' And then you said, 'Tol, nopa shikai.'"
"It roughly means: 'This act is between Penny Balica and the Elder Kashaunta. Now, we are in the claws of the Progenitors. Sp'rkial'nova. Homo Sapiens.' And the second part means 'take it or leave it,' or more accurately 'take or leave.' That's about what I said."
"So Dorima means Elder, and Dorima'Pecunyanova means Progenitor?"
"Yes. The specific translation is 'mourning one' and 'mourning god' for those terms. Pecunyanova was the very first Progenitor, and Nova's grandfather, which he took a piece of the name of. Nova took in the powers of his entire family line when he became a Progenitor, including Pecunyanova's title of Everlasting."
"I can sense a deeper meaning beyond the mourning."
"The type of 'mourning' that the ancient language describes is a soul agony, of the type which drives the happiest souls to suicide and the most evil souls to tears. There are many more descriptions given to the agony of remembering the Source war, which is what defines the name. We mourn our species, our empires, our lost galaxies, and even the aliens that once lived with us. Imagine you were on Earth, and you had a nuclear war. No shields, no bunkers.
And all that survived the aftermath, the starvation and the proxy wars over the scraps that remained, was the equivalent of a single village. That is how close we are to extinction, Penny. Progenitors went mad with grief. Entire cities voted to activate nuclear arsenals upon themselves. 70 whole Grand Fleets drove straight into the black hole at the center of the galaxy, never to return. It is a trauma... a trauma difficult to even describe now, with over 99.99% of my memories of that war strictly sealed away.
By the end of it, we were burning reality itself to try and burn the Source to ash. We weaponized linear singularities, sending them deep into the Source's flesh. We opened spatial rifts in that bastard's galaxy-sized body. We live in a false vacuum, Penny. Our scientists learned that, and harnessed that. We sent weapons at the Source capable of writing entire concepts out of reality and capable of changing reality itself to kill. Weapons outright banned between the universal superpowers were thrown like chaff in the wind. The fear and madness of that time... nothing comes close to it.
And it is another reason why we commit so many atrocities. Because we have lost our power, any way of feeling like we still have even a scrap of it is irresistible. Others have fallen to the sweet bliss of drugs, or the digital equivalent. More Sprilnav than are alive now by a million times are stored in databanks, waiting for us to build a new universal empire."
"And... the Source?"
"The cursed thing lived. A mockery to us all, one which we know we are powerless to do anything about. It could come here even now and crush my flagship between its skin cells. It could crush this entire galaxy by wading through it in a few years. And no, it does not know or care about little things like the speed of light. It broke causality in many of its battles without care for those it killed. And what you don't know is that the Source war wasn't the first time people tried to kill it.
Other universal powers did and drove it back with lesser weapons than what we used. But power that could force it away did nothing when it came for us. That burning, blinding hatred. It was hell, Penny. And what is left behind is almost as bad. And let me say that almost as bad in this case is still constant agony. Constant misery. I was one of them once. One of the Elders that hated everyone in the universe for the crime of being happy after such a horrendous fall.
I killed many people. I destroyed planets. I killed children, babies, and smashed eggs with my own claws. In person. The depths of what I sank to are beyond depraved and evil, Penny. I refuse to lose hope again. This is why I am here, now, backing you. I cannot atone, but I can rebuild. The Source will feed you its lies but do not forget what it is. Who it is. And what it has done to us."
"Your retelling is not fully accurate," Exile said.
"I am aware of that, speeding space entity. I told the most complete story I know, and will not bring back millions of years of agony just to give a better one. It is not safe for her."
"How would it be unsafe for me?" Penny asked.
"Because I would go insane and kill you, obviously."
"And the Pact of Blades?"
"Unless the Progenitors got here in time, you'd still die. They'd kill me next, with only a slight difficulty if only one is sent, and that one is not Nova. No bond is truly unbreakable, but that is what it would take for me to break the Pact of Blades. I... my mind is built on a foundation of ash. Turn that ash back to wood, and the center will fall through."
Penny moved closer to Kashaunta. She moved her arm over Kashaunta's back. "I'm sorry."
"Thank you."

I'm FilthyPeasant on Stocktwits and I offered to post the ~10pg. Sellas Life Sciences ($SLS) summary due diligence that was made by another user because he must have tried to create a reddit account and didn't understand the deal with karma before you can post. I'm long this stock and with the interim data for their phase 3 trial expected next month, I thought this was as good of an opportunity as ever to try and introduce people to the company.
https://duediligencegenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Sellas-Life-Sciences.pdf
Sharing this from the creator:
"I would describe this as a summary report which can help to develop an understanding of the business rather than a granular study of the company's drug trials and peer data comparisons. I'd like to share it with anyone who's interested but because I believe that this is too long of a report to share via this post, I hope that you will forgive me for directly linking to the location of the PDF file. I've no position around this ticker and I've received no compensation in exchange for creating this research. Simply chose this ticker because a close friend has been asking me about it and since I knew nothing and it seemed like a fairly obscure company, I went for it."

I'm FilthyPeasant on Stocktwits and I offered to post the ~10pg. SLS summary due diligence report that was made by DDGenie because he must have tried to create a reddit account and didn't understand the deal with karma before you can post. I'm long this stock and since I believe that this is a very effective report for understanding the business and the opportunity with its drugs, I decided to make sure that a link to the pdf is available in case anybody wants to point anyone new towards the stock. This company is pretty much undiscovered so far and sharing this could help to make people aware of the company, especially in the event the regal ph.3 data goes our way and people are looking to get the full scoop on this name.
https://duediligencegenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Sellas-Life-Sciences.pdf
Sharing this from the creator:
"I've created an approximately ten-page due diligence report for Sellas which reflects all information available as of 5/14/24, including the 10-Q filing. I'd like to share it with anyone who's interested but because I believe that this is too long of a report to share via this post, I hope that you will forgive me for directly linking to the location of the PDF file on my website. This is a free report that I'm sharing in an effort to create awareness for this new business and as a work sample for what my future research reports will constitute. I've no position around this ticker and I've received no compensation in exchange for creating this research report. Simply chose this ticker because a close friend has been asking me about it and since I knew nothing and it seemed like a fairly obscure company, I went for it. I strive to produce objective, qualitative reports that do not proffer investment advice (n.b. no discussion of valuation). I would describe this as a summary report which can help to develop an understanding of the business rather than a granular study of the company's drug trials and peer data comparisons.
I will be around the social media outlets for this ticker until the end of June and I'm happy to discuss this name with others. Again, please remember that I cannot and will not provide investment advice, including valuation. That's your domain, alone! Thank you for your interest in this report and best wishes to all of you!"

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/MentalPlatypus5193
Originally posted to AITAH
My son [19M] filed harassment charges against me and my husband because we were making him go to college
Original Post: April 28, 2024
Me and my son moved to US last year. I was a single mom for 16 yrs before I met and then married my husband. I saved up money so he can go to college. Where I came from, college is very important. We moved to a small town and my son found new friends. These friends in my opinion were not a good influence. I am used to polite and academically oriented kids back home. These new friends of his make fun of his books and his plans of going to college.
Before his HS graduation, me and my husband took him to several unis in the state so he could get a feel for which one he would like to go to. Then after he graduated from HS, I told him I have about $20k saved up for college. He said it is not going to fit because tuition is pretty expensive nowadays. I suggested he can just go to a community college 20 mins away and live at home to save money. He agreed and I gave him access to the fund (joint account).
Long story short, he did not enroll himself and instead started partying a lot and used the money on expensive dates with his gf. He moved out and stopped talking to me. I worked hard to save that up for more than a decade and I am upset that he wasted it in less than a year. Me and my husband went to his place and asked that he pay me back since it is specifically for college and not "fun money".
He called the police and filed harassment charges. I told the police to review the cctv footage because the whole time I was talking to him through his ring cam, I was calm and reasonable and my husband was just standing behind me not saying anything. I was outside the door talking, he never even opened the door to talk to me face to face. The police said there's nothing he can do if my son and his gf felt "harrassed", he can file a restraining order if he wants to.
Back home, this is unforgivable to treat your parent like this. But here in US, I was treated almost like a criminal. My sister in law said it is my fault for confronting him and that the money is his to spend since I made him a joint account owner. Am I wrong?
Edit: People cursing me because I said something about wanting to throw my chancla on my son's face, to be clear I have never laid my hands or my flip flops on him ever. But after what he did, my intrusive thoughts wants me to throw it but of course I won't. If he called the cops on me just because I want to talk to him, what more if I threw my flip flops on his face??
His relationship with me before moving to US was fine. He knew my struggle as a single mom and he always try to help me around the house. I was not strict at all he was free to go out with friends anytime. He was even thrilled to have a father figure and my husband always try to make him feel included in everything.
Relevant Comments
ManufacturerAny835: Lesson learned never give someone access to money unless you’re ok with them running away with it

OOP: He was a good boy before moving here. I thought he knew my struggles and how much I sacrificed to save money. I just thought he would never betray me like this.

dingdongsbtchs: Honestly I think a lot of parents don’t realize the depth of their children and forget that just because you think of them as one way doesn’t mean they don’t have other layers that can make them a different person. Sadly your son has found some less than savory friends to surround himself with and now he has to live with the decision he made. I honestly wouldn’t offer help for university again and would leave communication up to him. Also has there been any questions or discussion of potential drug use??

OOP: I don't know of any drug issue but since he did this to me, I am thinking maybe he has started doing drugs?

Top Comments
2workigo: The money is gone. And since he was a joint account holder and a legal adult, there’s nothing to be done except refuse to help him financially anymore. Let him figure it out on his own from now on. The friends he had will likely drift away now that he no longer has a fat bank account to fund their party lifestyle.
 
Update: May 10, 2024
Update on this post
I still have not heard from my son and I don't expect him to reach out. But his gf's mother has called me asking if my house is still open to him. I asked her why, it turns out he hasn't paid his share of the last month's rent and his gf had to pay it for him.
I said it is not my problem and he is not welcome anymore in my house since he is an adult. The gf's mom said "what kind of mother would not extend help to his teenage son?". She further insulted me and said now she knows why he left me.
At this point I really don't care anymore. I tried to help him get a good start in life but he wasted it. Aside from the $20k, he lived rent free in the house, free food, free phone, car, gas money, and I pay all the utility bills and his health insurance. All I asked is that he focus on his studies. Finish at least an associate's degree so he can get a decent job and be fully independent from me asap.
For some who asked why college is so important to me, as an immigrant, we are held under certain standards. We have to prove to USCIS that we will not become a public charge -- meaning we won't rely on any government aid. I want him to be able to be a good immigrant and become productive. I don't even know if he can become a citizen if he makes below poverty income. I was just trying to make sure he gets to live a good life.
Some of you asked if he even wanted go to to college. Back when we were in our home country, he begged me to pls send him to college no matter what.
P.S. The harrassment charge was closed for lack of evidence of harrassment, a lot of what he said were lies.
Edit: Another thing that gave me chills was when he moved out it was the middle of the night and me and my husband were both asleep. My son left the front door hanging open (I saw it in the camera). We live in a small town but there's a lot of crime in our area, someone could have gone in and done something bad.
Relevant Comments
uarstar: Isn’t your son 18? So you not charging him rent and covering his expenses is literally your duty as a parent.

OOP: 19, actually turned 20 already a week ago.

Andr0meD0n: Now the only money he should get from you is coins in his cup and some cold McDonald’s fries. I don’t mind if my kids live with me forever, they just have to do something, anything.

OOP: Yeah, I just really wanted him to do something to not be considered a 'public charge' by USCIS. Community college here in my town is just $5k/25 credit hours. They offer trade programs aside from associate's. That $20k would have gone a long way considering I was paying for everything else plus allowance and his salary from a part time job.

No_Scarcity8249: He didn’t live free. You were supposed to be supporting him. You doing what you are legally required to do isn’t some favor. You paying his health insurance and providing what you are supposed to isn’t something he got “free”. That is expected and required if all parents.

OOP: Most parents kick their kids out the moment they turn 18 or make them get a full time job. I continued providing for him and planned on doing so until he was able to stand on his own but since he did that he won't get any more support from me.

Top Comments
SnooWords4839: His GF's mom has no right to bitch you out.
Your son left, spend his college fund and now has to figure out how to adult.
You do not owe him anything at this point.
bluedreamer62: Some people just have to learn the hard way, his gf probably had a good time with him spending his college fund now 5hat it’s gone the fun is over. So comes the reality.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Some Info:
We have me (33M)
My mom and dad
My older brother D of ~5 years and his wife R
My older sister A of ~10 years A, her husband N, and their daughter G
My older brother H of ~15 years H, his wife C, and their daughter F
My two eldest sisters of ~20 B, and ~ 25 years E
My ex-girlfriend K
My friends J and L
Background:
I have five siblings, but I am the 14th child - the rest died with stillbirths and miscarriages. I am the youngest, and there are big gaps between each of my siblings of about 5 years, so I really only grew up with A and D. As far as the rest of my siblings, due to the age differences they were all off doing their own things, and I saw them from time to time but did not grow up around them. I grew up with both of my parents for a bit, and then it was my mom most of the time.
I have always been the “black sheep” of the family, tons of jokes and being made fun of, being blamed for everything and always being compared to my siblings and feeling like I wasn’t as smart or talented as them, especially D. Most of the family now is incredibly toxic with a lot of lying and talking shit behind each other’s backs, and things like abuse, cheating, etc. being joked about and brushed under the rug.
I grew up with a lot of depression and anxiety from my household and all the trauma, and today I still have a lot of anxiety and depression, and it’s difficult to deal with everything day-to-day. Figuring out who I am, what I want to do, all while trying to work and support myself, is hard enough without flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and the obsession of trying to figure out why it all happened. That’s why I’m here - to figure out if this all makes sense, and if I can come back from everything I’ve done and everything that’s happened.
Early Life
Growing up, my mom was loving towards me most of the time, my dad was not as much. When I was around 4, my dad and I were supposed to hang out together at the bowling alley and I caught him cheating on my mom. When I cried about it, he told me with his finger in my face, “I’ll never take you out ever again”, and we went home. I told my mom about the cheating and she confronted him. A few months later she confronted him again because she found clothing that did not belong to her in her room. They were yelling and arguing, I was crying and I tried to stop their fight and my dad picked me up and told my mom “See what you did”, which I didn’t want at all. A few months later, my mom got a restraining order on him, so I didn’t see him much after that. At home, it was me, my mom, and D. My mom has always compared me to my brothers and wanted me to be more like them, especially D. I idolized D growing up because of all of this, and he always seemed so smart and capable.
My mom has always told me bad things about my dad, and I obviously never liked him because of the cheating, but a lot of it is from the things she said. She would tell me, as a child, that he fucked a chicken and a dog, that he sexually abused his mentally ill brother, she would say that he would tell him to stop but my dad kept going, that he didn’t pay child support, that he’s a victim, that he’d be talking with all the gay guys around the beach and the business, and many other things. She made up a song about him sucking dick and I used to sing the song when I was a kid because it made her laugh. My mom shared all of her thoughts and feelings with me where I was like her therapist, and she was always saying all the things my siblings would do that made her cry so I would try to make sure I never did those things. We watched a lot of shows and movies together, but 90% of the time it was things kids shouldn’t watch, from like rated R comedy movies with sex and nudity to graphic sexual assault scenes.
With everything my mom has told me, I’ve internalized all of it so whenever someone has wronged my mom, I’ve taken it personally and felt like I need to fix it and not be like that. For example, one time D’s wife R broke a ceramic bust my mom had and my mom told D and his response was “Don’t be materialistic.” I went and picked up all the pieces and used elmer’s glue to repair the ceramic bust.
Abuse by A
A few months after the restraining order, when I was first starting elementary school, my dad randomly came and picked me up, and he brought me to this apartment complex and he brought me into this room with nothing in it but a loveseat, and he told me to wait in there and not move and he’d be back. A few minutes later, my sister A came in and started taking off her clothes and she told me to take off my clothes, then she laid on the loveseat and told me to get on top of her. I was grossed out when my penis touched her vaginal secretions, I yelled “Ew!” and she told me to go to the restroom to get cleaned up, I cleaned up in the bathroom, and then I came back with the towel and just laid there and she sexually assaulted me. When it was done she put her clothes back on and I did too and then she left the building, and a few minutes later my dad came back in and then took me home and that was it. I didn’t know what to do or why it happened, and my brother D always told me “snitches get stitches”, so I didn’t tell anyone about it.
Abuse by D
Around this same time of my dad leaving, my brother started abusing me verbally, physically, and sexually. He abused me most heavily from elementary through middle school. He stole my best friend away when I was about 5 or 6 , he told us he was making a video and told my friend he could be in it but that he couldn’t talk to me anymore if he was, my friend agreed so I ran home crying, my mom scolded D but that was it. After that I didn’t want to make any friends if he could so easily take them away. I had a girlfriend when I was about 10 that he started sexting on MSN and so that ruined the relationship I had with her. I tore up a picture of her next to her at lunch and threw it away and she left crying. After that I didn’t have a girlfriend for the longest time. I did make two friends later from middle school onward, J and L, who will come up more later.
D started telling me things all the time like the “snitches get stitches" saying, he’d make fun of me crying and mimic me (both of my parents would do the same thing sometimes) and if I tried to do it back he would punch me. I was always called gay by him and basically everyone else in my family, all my siblings and parents joked at different times that I was gay and that has continued. I started to get really bad stomach pain after the abuse started and D would tell me it was in my head, and when I would try to talk about the abuse, he would always say I was lying or it didn’t happen like that or I was remembering it wrong. He and my mom have said he has a photographic memory, and they both have made me feel like I have a bad memory from saying I remember it wrong, so it’s made me doubt everything.
Physically, he has always been pushing, punching, kicking, choking me and threatening to do so. One day he came home from school with his friend and just chased me into our room upstairs and choked me. I was crying and he said if I didn’t stop crying he’d choke me harder, and his friend walked up and he saw me as he came into the room, I was crying and we locked eyes as I asked him for help. D saw the look on his friend’s face and let me go, his friend left and never came back. Another time he pushed me down and I was crying and I ran and hid from him. My dad was there at the time and he told D to stop banging on the door and D was saying that I was lying about the push and that he would break my game if I did not tell the truth. Shortly after he slid two halves of a PS1 CD for Vigilante 8 under the door. He has also gone out of his way to hurt other children and make them cry, and when asked why? D said “I could have made you cry but I wanted him to cry”.
D always said the sexual abuse was in his sleep so he couldn’t control it, but then he would say I was coming up to him and basically coming onto him in his sleep, but a lot of these times happened during the day or not in bed at all. The first time it happened I was in elementary school, he asked me who my crush was in school, I told him and he said that he could close his eyes and become her. I tried to kiss him since “he was my crush” and he kept dodging the kiss attempts, and then after that he went straight into sucking my penis, I didn’t know how to react, he just did it. This happened multiple times over the next few months with other crushes I had too. The next few years in elementary I saw him on and off as he was staying with my dad more, and whenever he would come over it would start off being nice and regular, but it would always lead to things like him being physical with punches.
A few years after these incidents, I don’t really know why it happened, but my dad and brother moved back in with us. The abuse started back up; he brought me to this bathroom once to look at his semen in the toilet, and then he tried to masturbate me, but it made me feel ticklish all over, and after that happened I became obsessed with masturbating.
Once the sexual abuse started, he didn’t want me to sit next to him anymore, and if I was in his near vicinity he would always get upset and had something to say about it. The sexual abuse was sporadic, and just happened whenever he wanted it, and he’d usually masturbate me while fucking me. Sometimes he would manipulate me to do it. One particular time I was playing a video game on the computer by myself, he came in and told me I had to get out of the room. He then followed up and said if I laid with him it would recharge him and then we could play video games together. When I laid with him and he started fucking me and masturbating me, I told him to stop and that it hurt, but he said “I’ve seen you take shits bigger than my dick,” and kept going. When he was done I left and went to the bathroom and cried for a little bit and had to take care of myself as I had lost some perianal skin during the assault. After this, I left the bathroom and went back into the room and he was on the computer, ready to play video games.
Another time we were riding bikes together at night and we passed by this ditch near my school by some trees, he just pulled to the side and stopped had us lay in the ditch, he fucked me and masturbated me and then we rode home.
Another time D and I trespassed into a construction zone to hang out, it was a set of apartments being built but they weren’t finished yet. We went into what I think was one of the bathroom areas and he fucked me while masturbating me, and then after that we just got up and left.
Another time we were walking from a friend’s house and we went to a park nearby on our way home. We stopped by some bushes that are sort of like a maze, and there was one of those green pad mounted transformers in there. He took me into there and just like the other times, he fucked me and masturbated me and then afterwards we got up and went home.
Another time, he told me he was taking the van out to do donuts and invited me along. He had invited me before to do this in my mom’s Camaro on a previous Sunday, and it was Sunday again so I was excited for it. We got into the van and he drove a street or two down and parked in an empty corner of the warehouse parking lot. He got into the farthest back seat of the van and I followed him because I knew what was happening, he fucked me and masturbated me and then I got up to get dressed. I put my pants on and I saw my dad walking towards us in the distance, I mentioned it to D and he immediately got up and rushed to get ready and started the van to drive us back. My dad stopped us for a moment but just looked at D and as we drove on my dad was just shaking his head the whole time.
There are more, but you get the point.
In any of these events, my parents would not help me and would often make fun of my crying. Sometimes they would yell at him, but he would always say I was bothering him or it didn’t happen. These types of abuse from D continued up unto middle school and didn’t really stop until he moved out, but he still continued physical and verbal abuse afterwards and to this day tries to spin what happened.
D also told me to act crazy and yell to scare people if I’m fighting with them, and then in every situation with me he would act completely calm so that I looked crazy, my mom is similar and will scream at me in fights but then when anyone else is around she is completely calm.
School onto Adulthood
So obviously a lot of the abuse was still happening at this time, but when I was in middle school I flunked 7th grade and had to repeat it. During that repeat year I was doing well so they wanted to put me into 8th grade already three quarters of the way through, I begged my them not to as I knew I wasn’t ready for it but they did it anyway, and I started failing everything immediately. It wasn’t going how I wanted, and we were having issues at home with money my mom’s house was going about to go through foreclosure, so my dropping out was in the knick of time and I started working at Taco Bell for about a year.
After that, I tried to go back in, but I was too old for middle school. I was told to go to the Adult School nearby and when I did they informed me that I was too young for the adult school, and the high school would’ve been too difficult due to my time off. So I just went back to working and didn’t go back to school. In this time, D wasn’t around as he was with friends a lot, and eventually moved out after being at home for a year doing drugs and being a dick all the time to my mom by bringing people to the house when my mom did not want anyone there. I had a slightly older girlfriend in her 30s around this time who I dated for a year or so we’ll call K; our age difference was a big insecurity for her. At one point I messed up and cheated on her because she was still talking to her ex and it made me insecure, and we broke up. It destroyed me for a while and I was thinking about her a lot.
I went back and got my High School Diploma at 21. Over the next few years I worked and then when I was trying to go back to school at my local community college, I made friends with this girl who was there and we’d talk every now and again. I missed K often and on this one day that I was in the library studying, I had a sudden urge to go home as if something was wrong gut feeling; As I drove home I saw K’s vehicle at an angle as they were hit by a F-150 truck. I ended up staying with K until everything was sorted and then I drove them home.
We caught up and later started dating again but it wasn’t good, our relationship wasn’t any better and we still could not go out together to places. So one time I went with the girl from college to a theme park and when I informed K about it they left and went to their parent’s house as they felt I was cheating, but the first time K and I were together she always mentioned that she was overweight and did not feel confident enough to be with me in public due to our age so we never went to the beach or theme park. Which is why I didn’t bother asking her this time and instead asked a classmate. We went as friends but it was too much for K so we broke up again but still lived together for a couple of months after that. I was a dick at the time and started dating the girl from my college while we still lived together, but I didn’t like her much and we didn’t date for long. Looking back I really regret the way I did all that and realize how hurtful it was to K.
Throughout these later years I had kept up my friendship with J and L, and J was my best friend, we would hang out all the time. L and I were friends, but we weren’t as close as I was to J. All three of us hung out from time to time, and I had a crush and L. Once L and I were hanging out alone watching Lord of the Rings late at night, both of us completely sober, and I told her I was going to masturbate and offered for her to join. She immediately agreed and went to it, it was a mutual masturbation session that turned into sex, and she even told me I could finish inside her. Afterwards I fell asleep (I apologized for this) and took her home later. At some point when I was apologizing, L said, “it takes two to tango”. The next day, J called me and asked what happened with L. I told her and an argument ensued because apparently it wasn’t consensual, I can’t remember specifically what was said but I was really upset about it and I lost J as my friend after that, which is one of the friendships I cherished the most and missed the most.
I was extremely depressed and feeling like an abuse after all of this and needed a change of scenery, so I moved in with my brother H, his wife C, and their four kids. I was trying to go to school around where they lived. I lived with them for a few years, and during this time I was trying to go to school down there and working with him each day. I was honestly getting more and more depressed, I started getting high a lot and just didn’t give a fuck because of that, and our daily work wasn’t much so I was starting to feel like I wasn’t going to make anything with my life.
A little later when I was 24, my dad died, everyone came for the funeral except for D as he told my mom “I want to remember him the way he was”. I went with H and C as I was still living with them at the time, and then we went back together.
Planned Abuse of F, Remembering Abuse of G
While I was living with H, one time everyone was trying to play this mobile game together and my niece’s phone wasn’t working; H was resetting it - I had the game endless frontier open on my phone and was playing it in the room; H entered the room and asked if I wanted to head to the gas station and I said sure, as we walk through the living room I saw that F was on the sofa but not using their phone. I asked them if they wanted to play endless frontier on mine and she said yes, so I let her use mine while H and I went to the store. When we came back, she wasn’t on the game anymore and said she had gotten bored, and she went through my photos and saw some dick pics I had sent to a girl I was talking to at the time. I was terrified when this happened and I didn’t really know what to do. It brought back memories when I was on H’s phone at a younger age and saw dick pics accidentally and he yelled at me.
Some weeks pass after this, I wake up to a commotion as I leave the room. I see H’s wife C choking my niece F on the ground in the corner of the living room. I did not know what to do here so I backed into the room I woke up in and waited until everything ended. After she stopped, I called F and one of my nephews into the room I was staying in and asked them about this. I recorded the interaction; they were hesitant to answer until I mentioned that it was for their safety, and they said this was a thing she did all the time to my niece and my nephew gestured with his hands a choking motion at his neck. I asked the nephew if C had done it to them ever, but both him and F said it’s never happened to him. I didn’t know what to do and called my mom who told me not to tell H or he’d kill C and to stop talking / hanging out with F because they may say I was having sex with her.
At this point in my life I was already attempting to kill myself and a friend of D’s (M) came and saved me 2 times prior. So in my head I heard he would kill C for choking their daughter and all I wanted was to die. I felt that the family would hate me and thus forget me quickly for doing such a horrid thing. I wouldn’t care, I wouldn’t be here, and my mom could be with the loving toxic family she’s always loved.
Over the next few months I didn’t do anything physically but I did talk to her about sex when she asked me about it, I just explained sex as a normal beautiful thing that couples do and to wait until you’re at least 18 and wait until you’re ready to do it. She also told me she had been looking at porn previously and showed me porn she was interested in on a site for a few seconds. She said C caught her and shamed her, telling her God didn’t like it and it was demonic. D had similarly told me to think about God when I was younger and thinking about sex, so this reminded me of that and terrified me. The next night, she came up and said she couldn’t sleep because she couldn’t stop thinking about sex. I told her to sleep on the couch behind me and I just held her hand from the other couch and helped her fall asleep. I did show her my penis for a few seconds one time, nothing else happened physically/sexually.
I also retrieved a memory a year or so ago, and realized I got revenge on my sister A by abusing her daughter one time. My sister A left her husband and was living with my other brother J when I did what I did to my niece G. I didn’t do anything physically to her but we were on the couch and I masturbated behind her, it only happened one time.
I have immense regret for it and I just want to tell her how sorry I am for doing that, because she didn’t do anything to me and I hate that I did that to her. I hate that I abused someone because it makes me feel like my brother and that is never who I want to be. I have been wanting to apologize to her and talk to them and explain everything with what A did to me, but every time I bring it up my mom made me promise not to talk to G because it will break their mother-daughter trust in one another. I also don’t want to ask for forgiveness because I feel like the family would expect me to forgive D.

Hi. This is a short story of my life.
Born in 90s in central Europe. Grandparents were running a small but successful restaurant during summer holidays. My mother and father (both were 20yo when I was born) were living together with my grandparents. We had a massive seafront house with a restaurant connected to it on one side. Nice happy life with plenty time for various activities and leisure. By the age of 3 I start to read and write, taught how to do so by my grandma who spent quite a lot of time with me. She also managed to teach me how to ride a bicycle without stabilisers ! I finally I had a great way to explore the world around me. We had two dogs which always accompanied me when i was playing outside. My town was surrounded by nature. Pine forests, sea, some nice lakes. During summer holidays place was packed with tourists, mostly families and organised school trips. People used to come to the restaurant to have a great time. I can definitely say I was surrounded by happy and relaxed people. Weird stuff but somehow I remember it all even though I was only three.
Just before my 4th bday my brother is born. He was born with some liver problems and since beginning doctors were sceptical about his health condition. Because of his fragility we form a very deep bond. I remember that I wanted to help to feed him using milk bottles for babies prepared by mom. I lay next to him and bring him my toys to comfort him. I sing songs to hims and show him our dogs though the window making sure he know the difference between one and the other.
Always wanting a brother and feeling you can lose him wasn't pleasant but I knew deep in my heart its going to be okay. And it was. He recovered quickly and today he's got health like a horse. My parents however split up. I never knew why. But suddenly I can't remember my father's face. When we walk to the grocery store I keep calling random males dad. I develop some sort of trauma, feeling abandoned and unloved by my father my mother became my numer one. She was untouchable for me and if I would have to jump into flames to stop her cry I would. I even told her I will marry her when i grow up😉 that's how much I loved her. I never wanted for her to be sad and alone.
We stay together at grandparents house for a while until my mom meets a new boyfriend. They had sex and another bro was on the way so following local cultural standards they had to get married.
My step father works for military. He doesn't like me. He moved in to our house to live with mother and us. suddenly he had more rights than me. And started to get involved with most things around the house and restaurant. He also took my mom away from me and their primary focus was on their new baby. I was left to myself every day. I could do whatever I wanted. I spent hours walking in forests or on the beach alone or with dogs. There was no other children my age in our town. I knew some guys but they were a little older and we didn't really like each other because their mom.was working as a cleaner in our restaurant. They always picked on me and laughed at many things which I considered sacred.
Year or two since my stepfather moved in and my parents now decide to move out from grandparents to an apartment located in the centre of a military Base with two large radars and a watch tower. It seemed really cool for me. Seeing all these soldiers and military stuff for a young boy who loved to play with green plastic toy soldiers was a dream come true.
There was however 5 of us already, but the flat we moved to had only two rooms and was approximately 36m2. It was something new but I loved it at first. The base was surrounded by a razorwire, no one could get in or out without going to the gatekeeper.
I'm 6 now. Time to go to school. Nearest school is 8 km away. My parent do have a car but decide to show me where the bus stop is so I can ride my bike to our old house where my grandparents live, leave the bike there and walk to the bus stop. Then get on the bus and tvlravel 8km to my school. Bear in mind the military Base we lived at was roughly 2km away from my grandparents house. It was also hidden in the forest which was incredibly dark during winter. There was also a military grade path leading to the Base rather than normal road.
Again it was just normal for me. I used to wake up at 6 as a 6 year old. Make myself sandwiches to unburden my mother which was now constantly exhausted and depressed. At least that's what I was told to do. Afterwqrds i was getting on my bike and preparing to shout or sing during my ride because every time I was going through that forest there was some animals there. On a few occasions I was chased by wild dogs and foxes but my parents told my to not be afraid and they'll never hurt me. Ofc I was afraid. I was just acting tough to not let down my mother. I wanted to protect her for all cost. After coming back from school I usually had to hooked the house, take the rubbish out and peel potatoes for dinner. Again small little jobs which I continued to do in this exact routine for next few years. Back then I didn't realise none of my friends from will be able to visit me. My parent also didn't want to take me anywhere in the car saying petrol was expensive.
My two brothers were now a little older and it was time for the youngest one [ lets call him B] to start school. Suddenly my parents decided to sign him up to a different school than me and my first brother [let's call him A ]. They also decided to take him to school using car because he was too small to go on his own. - I think that's the first time my brain froze as I felt treated unfair. I remember my throat narrowing in bitterness. [B] was a really cool kid, a little shy but I really enjoyed playing with him. Now because of his shyness he was allowed to have friends to come over. My parents would also take him to the local city or towns so he could see his friends, using the same car and expensive petrol I was always worried about. I however had to wait for the school bus to pick me up and take to and back from school. Sometimes I would finish lessons at 12:00, but the next bus was leaving at 3pm so I had to wait for 3 hours for the bus. Watching my friends being picked up by their parents. I never wanted to put any additional strain on our budget to feel like a burden. I knew I only had to wait and ill get home eventually. Years go by in almost exact same scheme. We grow, the house is getting too small, our brains develop we notice inequalities but they are always ridiculed by our parents. I was always in good relations with my bro [B] in fact he is my best friend till today. never blamed him for what he receives knowing that his father is here and he will be getting different privileges than me and it's not his fault. He is the one to recieve first mobile phone out of 3 of us, he is the one who gets his first separate bedroom when we move out to a bigger city.
We moved when I was 13. I had to leave all the friends i had gatherd. They ment a lot to me because I never had enough time to spend with them. Nor were they allowed to come to play with me after school. I had top grades and was certainly the best student in the class. I only had to listen during the lesson and was always getting the best marks with no effort or studying at home. My favourite subjects were history, geography, physics and biology.
After we moved however mother signed Me to a sport profiled school which I never liker nor enjoyed. I was now put in a class with compete strangers who didn't accept me because I never liked sport. I never even had any interest for football or basketball. I was really excelling in other subjects tho. Here's where my marks start to drop down, I start to run from school during lessons to find something more interesting to do rather than talk about football with my meathead colleagues. We moved again to a tiny 38m2 apartment and I had to share a 8m2 room with my two brothers. Parent could afford a bigger place but this one was free, allocated from the military to my stepdad.
I was introduced to heavy metal and found my place on earth again. Meet few people started smoking joints going out for gigs and drinking till I collapse. I didn't hide my lack of fondness for my step dad. He never told me he loves me, never talked to me about girls, never took ne to school or prepwred me a meal. He was working however and he used to be a sole provider for the family when my mother could cope with her emotions. By the time I'm 16 yo I realise my biological father must be somewhere and I never actually seen him ? I can't remember his face? I managed to find him and established a contact. I have informed my mother that I'm going to meet my father in a cafe someday. And I did. I came back with a new hoodie. Yes after 16 years of not seeing this guy he wanted to gift me something, he wanted to buy me anything I wanted but I always felt like I shouldn't ask for much. He insisted and bought me a really nice and trendy hip hop themed hoodie. When I came back home and my mothers first word were: "Oh now you got a father yes? " If he's such a good dad he will provide for you because we won't anymore. " I didn't know what just happened? I thought I should immediately return the gift to my father but it was too late. They kicked me out of the house, changing the locks and telling my brothers to never give me anything from the house.
My heart was shattered to pieces. I no longer wanted to live. My only thoughts now were what have I done to my mother to make her so angry. I shouldn't see my father. I shouldn't take anything from him. I walked 35km during night back to my first home. I moved back to my grandmother, she is now actively drinking alcohol. The economy collapsed there's not much people coming during summer time and restaurant was shut down.
I attempted suicide by breaking a Gillette single use razor in pieces and cutting deep along my left hand, I was listening to Linkin parks somewhere I belong which made it even more emotional and a little bit easier. After shit gets real I panic. Nearly faint I use superglue to put my skin together I didn't cut trough my veins maybe because I didn't see then through my tears, maybe because I was too scared to actually die. My hand looks like a mess but I put some bandage and wear long sleeve for next year until a solid scar forms telling people around I had a bad infection.
Mother realised where I am because [b] was breaking the rules and he smuggled some of my belongings to me her hatred for me her own mother started to grow rapidly. She didn't want her to look after me. One random evening when I came back from school I see a a few coins and a 100€ note along with a letter. "You have to leave. I no longer have money to support you."
I left the money on the table. Packed my already tiny inventory and left. I slept at friends couches, in the forest, I broke in to some empty holiday homes to stay there for a few nights.wintwr came so I moved into the city and was breaking into people's basements to stay overnight. Be aware it was illegal my country to work if you're below 18. It was also illegal to be kicked out your house if you're below 18.
I found a job at a local car wash, I had a bit of facial hair now and the guy didn't ask for my age. He also paid cash. After a few days he gave me the keys to the premises so I could sleep on a towel there and have access to water to wash my clothes, drink and wash myself ofc.
I have stared a rock band with some friends and somehow we manage to play a few gigs here and there which also helped me to get by. Unfortunately. The owner of the car wash sells the business. And I'm gone. My last piece of "stability " was gone. I decided to ask my friends for some money with no intention of returning it and bought a flight ticket to England where some guy I met sometime ago promised me a job and better opportunities. Just before I leave I ask If I can join my family for the last time during Christmas.
We ate together, all family was there and my mother was pretending like nothing ever happened. No one even knew I wasn't living with them. My other bro [A] was now under my stepfathers sole. And kept actively provoking strange situations during out last supper together. I broke character and told everyone I'm homeless and I'm leaving to live in the uk. Some people are really bothered until my mum said its all good and she knows what's going on and where I'm going. The next day they have seen me packing my backpack with 2 pairs of socks 2 pairs of pants and my id and a toothbrush. No money, no food, no water. My stepfather volunteers to take me to the airport. He drops me of just in front of departures and drives off as soon as I close the doors to his car.
I ended up in Edinburgh. Without language or any valuable skills, but with hope for a normal life. Unfortunately I didn't know the exact situation here. There was no job prepwred for me and i was used as a puppet to get someone a bigger council house and a few quid in benefits because someone could register as my legal guardian.
I had to live with them for a while, I clean the dishes, I cook and keep on smiling to them for while to survive.
They invite more and more people to live with them in the house. Situation was getting out of hand. In the meantime I have met some people in Scotland. A person which i will call [Z] offered me a shelter and help with finding a job. I didn't know he is addicted to heavy drugs by then. But I have met her. By complete accident I have met a woman online who wasn't interested in my financial situation. We spent some time together talking about our past and realised how much in common we had. She gave me some money because I had nothing by that time and lost around 20kg of body mass. I looked like a pale skeleton. I loved about my situation saying I had some issues with my bank.
We fell in love.
She [let's call her [7] had a life I remember I used to have. Love, normality, she had beautiful clean nails and smile of an Angel. She used to call me and tell me about what she was doing. Preparing for example preparing meals, ironing her shirt etc and it felt so alien to me. Almost too normal. Even when she said I have to decide what's for dinner I felt like shes super privileged, forgetting I used to pick whatever I want from our restaurant. It felt so distant like I never had a normal life.
She applied for uni in England, and she got in. Her mother paid for her accommodation never knowing I'm going to join. I bet her mother wouldn't be pleased back then. 😂. I found a job and learnt English to a fluent level in 1 year. Working doing various things. After 3 years of being together, I applied for medical university and finished it. I paid for her next studies, we have also purchased a small house. I was starting to get really successfull at my job, I even gave a few interviews to respected magazines and radio stations.
My whole childhood I was complaining about headaches. I ofted seen zigzags and lights flashing. My mother told me she already took me to the doctors when I was young and this was happening because I was growing too quick. Ok - I never questioned that. Until recently where I found out I was never taken to the doctors ( someone checked med history ) I was diagnosed with craniopharyngioma A form of cancer that can be easily treated when young.
My relations with family were rebuilt by me during recent years . I tried to re establish connection because I was craving for my mothers love. I needed her approval. Whenever I was projecting my dreams I always seen her coming to my house and telling me how proud she was of me. And of things I have achieved.
I confronted my mother asking if she really took me to the doctors, she lied. When I told her about my cancer diagnosis she stopped talking to me. She's ignored me for the past months just waiting patiently for me to die. She didn't tell anyone in our family about this. Everyone is convinced we never had any serious family issues, and all my success is thanks to her. I'm the only one who has a proper job, out of me and by bros. The house that belonged to my grandparents was run down and sold by my mother for half of its value. My grandmother is still alive and she lives in a tiny apartment where my mother doesn't have to help her with anything. [A] didnt talk to me since years even after I helped him in the most dire situations giving him money and a place to stay when he couldn't find job in our country. He never gave any money back to me and twisted the whole situation to make it look a little shinier when he fell. [B] remains my best friend, but is emotionally numb, never had a girlfi3nd and is incapable of love and emotions. [7] lives with me till now, sleeping as I write all this shit for God knows what reason ??
If you still reading, thanks for your time. I hope there's some lessons to learn from my mistakes.
I might be a weak man because I have emotions and a heart I valued others opinion more than I valued my life I was looking for my toxic mothers approval thinking our family was almost normal.
But I fought for what I believed in My biological father died just a few years go He was nearly 50
I have seen him 6 times in my whole life because I didn't won't to upset mum.
I have not been eating a Christmas dinner since the last time I was home with you mum.
I hope you find your peace.
Sorry for grammar etc I didn't even bother checking it. I wrote it all on my phone just now. Might delete later .
God bless.

33, Male, 5’8, 133lbs Location: US
Medication: Zyrtec
Non smoker, non drinker, do not use drugs
Hello all, I was diagnosed with GERD, esoughigitis and functional dyspepsia in 2020 after extensive testing. I’ll pre-face this by saying I’ve had GERD dysphagia and constant trapped gas since 2005. It started when I was addicted to opiates as a teenager (I have been clean since 2012). The GERD was well managed up until 2020 with either Zantac 150mg or Omeprozole 20mg.
However in 2020 something happened. I developed all these other symptoms and stopped being able to tolerate PPIs/h2 blockers. The stabbing pain started in 2020. I’ve had 3 endoscopies since and they all show I have had mild esophagitis since 2020. It’s not going away because I’m unable to tolerate PPIs and h2 blockers as well as antacids because they my symptoms worse (fees like food sits in my stomach, bloating, belching whenever I take them).
Waking up in the morning when my stomach is empty I have zero pain. My pain gets worse as the day goes on and I eat more. Liquids give me no symptoms and I can go almost all day just drinking protein shakes and almost feel no pain or symptoms. As soon as I start eating solids it’s over. I also have dysphagia. The pain starts anywhere from 30 min-2 hours after eating I’ll get a burning searing pain in my solar plexus area 10/10 pain. It feels like someone’s jamming a scalding hot fire poker into my abdomen. It lasts for 5-10 seconds at a time and usually comes with belching. It comes every 5/10 mins and will last until my GI tract is completely empty (usually next morning), it gets worse the more I eat.
On my doctor’s advice and care I’ve tried every diet, I’ve tried amitriptyline, buspar, lexapro, Prozac, noritriptyline, lyrica, gabbipentin none have helped me. Ive tried stomach breathing and therapy neither have helped.
As far as conclusive tests, my PH study shows I have GERD but not frequent enough for surgery. My barium food study shows food delayed emptying from my esoughgas into my LES. All other tests normal.
My doctor tells me there’s nothing left she can do for me. She offered me a feeding tube since I’ve went from 175lbs to 135 in a year. I don’t really know what else to do at this point. I’m malnourished, in chronic pain, and feel like I’m going to live the rest of my life in this pain.
It feels like what I would imagine gastroparesis or SIBO would feel like, however both my tests for those were negative. I can’t help but feel there is something that is being missed or overlooked. Could anyone please give me any advice or insight as to what could be causing these issues? Any tests I should look into, any different meds I should try, etc.. thanks for taking your time reading this.

*** = listener speaking
Can be monetised, just please link back to either this post or my YouTube!
Gender(s) can be changed if wanted!
~~~
[walking; sci-fi door open]
My dear subject! How are you doing? How do you feel waking up?
I was worried conventional human sleep-inducing drugs would not work on an extraterrestrial being such as yourself, but fortunately injecting a bunch of different kinds into your system at once did the trick!
The higher-ups weren’t too happy with that - they were getting all agitated over the fatality risk - but I managed to convince them the ends justifies the means as long as I got my hands on you.
Which brings us to now, my dear subject.
Well? Would you be willing to explain to me how it feels as an alien coming off a large mixture of human-made substances?
***
Ah, you still don’t have the ability to speak? I see!
That is a shame, since I was hoping we could converse about your current state and see to what extent you understood your biological structure.
It can wait until later then! That way, I’ll be able to form my own hypotheses… oh, I wonder what I’ll be correct and incorrect about!
[speaker giggles]
[scribbling notes]
Your eyes seem to be fully-functional… you’re keeping eye contact with me as I move my head side to side.
That's good to see. If you weren’t, paired with the temporary muteness - which, to be fair, is an assumption on my part as I have yet to hear your alien tongue, pre- or post-securement - I would have assumed my team did some lasting damage.
Come to think of it, I should conduct a smell test as well…
[packet ripping]
This is what we humans call ‘smelling salts’. They’re pungent, so typically they’d be used to wake up an unconscious individual, but I’d like to see if they’re strong enough to elicit a reaction from an extraterrestrial like yourself…
…Hmm.
I can see your nose twitching, but other than that, not much of a reaction from the rest of your facial muscles…
…Oh?
It seems like some of the muscles on your arm are reacting.
[grab]
Right here, on your bicep. Your muscle right here is twitching…
Can this be considered a muscle?
…My, your arm is quite taunt.
So firm when I squeeze… You’re well-built. Or is this just the natural body-type for an individual of your race?
The firmness isn’t just isolated to your bicep. Your lower arm has the same consistency… my, it’s a marvel to run my arm down. I might get addicted to this.
I can’t keep my attention only to your arms, though.
I’d like to stay focused on your limbs and examine your legs next… I’ll just be performing a simple human exam method to see your reflexes.
See this little hammer? We tap it underneath our knees - like so.
[tap]
No reaction… now is that because your leg muscles have not yet regained strength, or is this hammer not strong enough to illicit a reaction?
Either way, I’d like to re-examine this when your body is fully-functional. I suppose I got a little too ahead of myself… but I can still perform the same examination as I did with your arm.
[grab]
Also firm…
Though your muscle density is certainly much higher than the average human’s, your biological structure appears to be quite similar to ours… on the upper layers, at the very least.
What secrets are you waiting for me to uncover inside of you?
Hmm, I hope you regain your motor functions soon… I need more of you.
[metal creak]
I also hope you don’t mind me stradling you like this.
For the rest of the examination - you understand.
I won’t be doing anything inappropriate, please, no need to get concerned.
You’re just so big, I can’t really reach all the way over you if I’m just standing by your side…
[grab]
More dense muscles. Do you work out for abs like these?
Right, oops, you can’t answer me… actually.
Can you look left and right for me real quick? Experiment with me a little.
…You’re got your eye control back. Good - that helps out a lot!
Look left if you work out, look right if you don’t.
…Interesting.
Good to know, good to know… I’ll just run my hands across them a bit longer so my notes are more accurate.
Haha, I could get used to this~
[alarm]
…Ugh. Of course they’d cut me off now.
Sorry, my dear subject. It looks like people are getting in between our fun.
[metal creak]
That should be everything…
[scribbling notes]
I’ll have to compile my notes and send them off to the team soon… oh, how I wish I had longer to study you.
***
Hmm? Wait, did you finally speak?
Please, repeat what you said if I wasn’t hearing things!
***
By the stars, you did talk!
Now we can move on to confirming my hypotheses!
Alright, now, I’d like us to start with-
***
Your question?
Did you ask a question?
What did you say, what did you say…
***
What do I intend to do with the information about your body?
Well… officially, it’s for the betterment of the human race.
***
To help with evolution!
Humanity has been stagnant for years - some would argue that we’re actively entering an era of decline.
This is mainly due to a lack of predators threatening the survival of humans. But, of course, we can’t merely just thrust humanity into perilous situations in order to kickstart the process of evolution again.
So the next best option… as you might have guessed, my department is looking into crossbreeding.
Obtaining the genetic of higher life forms such as your race would greatly benefit ours.
Now, we aren’t going to force you into anything - I may have abducted you, but my department isn’t made up of monsters!
Plus, I would hate for you to have a bad impression of my race.
I really, truly, do wish for us to get along.
Additionally, if you are willing to help humanity with our plight, I wouldn’t just pawn you off on to someone else.
No, no, no… I wouldn’t ever let that happen.
If you agree to help with the crossbreeding project, I will be the first to offer myself as your partner.
So, my dear subject… I hope you’ll be willing to experiment with me.

Hi, my siblings were recently put in foster care, and I got told today that they’re going to move forward and do a home study with me (for possible placement) . What should I expect? I live in an apartment complex it’s not small but not to big . It’s a two bedroom two bath. I keep it pretty clean. I have my groceries. My electricity and water is running and I’m pretty sure I’m also gonna get drug tested because of accusations my mom made against me..(which I’m not worried about I’m clean) is there anything else I should expect? I also have a hole on my wall that happened when I slipped and my elbow went thru the wall😅 I patched it up myself and put a frame over it. Do yall think they’re gonna move my frames to check? or am I just being paranoid? Sorry for the stupid questions I just want to prove I’m a good fit so the little things make me paranoid