Something creative for my boyfriends birthday

You were the first person to make love to me.. the first person to hold my hand and hold me as a person, as a lover. I felt butterflies just being in the same room as you, to see your face and to press my lips against yours, it was simply beautiful to me. As annoying as I am, and as much as I didn’t understand or care for your passions, I still loved you. But, I didn’t treat you like someone I cared for every time I made fun of your music, your shows, your mannerisms. I understand how hard it is to bond with me because of our distinct personalities. I could understand why it’s hard to laugh with me. And to make it worse, I would be hypocritical and get upset when you didn’t like something I liked as well. It just doesn’t seem to blend well, and I will put it all on me for being irrational. 

Our relationship is a complex maze that continues to meet blockages. We try, try, and try again and the outcomes never seem to reach the destination we aim for. With every dead end, my heart grows bitter and cold. I am not as enthusiastic as I was when we first started. And you can hate me all you want, for calling it quits too early, I wouldn’t blame you.. But I don’t want this anymore. I loved you for loving me, and I wanted to live out my ideal romantic life, and it has caused tension with the way I view you. I would judge every action you made, big or small, making you feel less in the process. You don’t deserve this, yet you still hold on to me. Even now as I am writing this letter, I can feel how selfish I am, to have made you try so hard, only to realize I don’t like you as a lover anymore. I deserve your resentment and more if anything. You did so many things right, and you’ve made me so happy by trying, again, and again. I’ve never had anyone care so much about me, and it’s truly made me feel loved. The gifts you gave me for my birthday were perfect. I can tell you’re truly trying. You help me do stupid things that I can’t figure out myself. You guide me and make me feel dependent on you. You are wonderful. I hope one day you can find a girl who’s just as nerdy as you, who listens to podcasts with you, watches movies with you, supports you in your running journey like I never could. I hope you find all that and more.
My boy, thank you for being my first-everything. I will forever love and cherish these memories. I know you will have doubts and questions on why I want to leave and what you did wrong, but don’t bother ruining your precious mind with these thoughts. I do not want to leave this note on things you did to upset me, but with things you did to make me feel beautiful. You did nothing wrong, you are just different from me so don’t ever blame yourself for what the outcome of this relationship is. Thank you for this journey.

This seems like the logical place to share my concerns. Please let me know if this should be on a different reddit.
Last night I was playing around on Suno, an AI music making website, and I came across a strange song. It was simply titled "The short song". The music was Alternative genre making the disturbing lyrics seem interesting. The narrator of the song gets arrested after an apparent gunshot opens the song. I continue exploring this genre when I come across more disturbing songs and I realize they are from the same user. I then go to their page, and this is where it gets dark.
I quickly realized that the lyrics were more like someone's open diary and the music was a distraction. I turned off the sound and started reading through their words. I will share some of the lyrics here. The song titles I will give for reference, but you will see some of the themes are duplicated in several songs.
"That Ugly Toy"
What’s that toy? Did my mom put it in her mouth? It looks like (I gasped) Why is that pink? And it stinks
It is so disgusting So annoying And it’s not a ring It’s clearly a [doorbell noise] Yeah yeah imma open the door It’s a package from "hardcore" What the hell is that?
I opened the package it was (oh nah) Another (Another) Toy (boy) (Ew what is that?) This one is blue with a bit of white on top (pop popopopop)
What an ugly toy That’s ugly Super duper ugly Ugly ugly ugly (I think I know what it is)
I got one for my birthday Im 9 years old (hey hey) What an ugly birthday
"Is the Neighbor Better Than My Dad?"
After the story of the toy My mom did something else yeah boy She went to the neighbor’s place every day I heard something like oh wee continue like that baby and some groans
My mom is a super late one too hot (first letters) She slept with the neighbor Should I say it to my dad (bor bro bro)
[slap sounds]
My dad found the toys He also find my neighbor in her bed (Bed beg bet)
Is my neighbor better than my dad? Is he better when he licks her meow? My dad (I hope) he’s not that bad And I heard some pow (gunshots)
Oh my god I pray the pope My dad shows me his gun He shot my neighbor And he putted my mama in the oven (as my neighbor)
Was my neighbor better than my dad? Was he better to lick the meow? I hope my dad wasn’t so bad Because it’s my turn to get lick
"Everything I touch isn't good..."
Everything … Everything I touch (touch) Is contaminate so much Everyone I punch DIES
When When I touch someone (someone) Or something (something) Its not a good thing (Thing) … When I touched my teacher’s boob, The teacher got mad and she slapped me Then I smashed her head against computer that is laggy Like my PHONE
"I touched my teacher so she isn't good anymore (first part was Everthing I...)"
After that, she was in a pool of blood I pray god I just nod I’m scared is this my end? I think the officer will nod … So I get rid rid rid of the body I know it’s a bad idea but it was the only I take a shovel and start to bury her (weeee) … It was a bad idea (bad idea) But it’s wasn’t a choice (not a choice) Her name was emilia I can still hear her voice (her fat voice) I’m so pathetic Like tic tac tic tac tic It’s so annoying I can’t even say something without crying I TOUCHED MY TEACHER SO SHE ISN’T GOOD ANYMORE (Not anymore) (Oh yes not anymore) … After I did that, I got my car And I did go far (Far away) I can’t live with that anymore I don’t want more I can it just forget I hope I’ll get Better on day And I will say It was just a nightmare (just a nightmare) … It was a bad idea (bad idea) But it wasn’t a choice (wasn’t a choice) Her name was Emilia And I can still hear her voice (her voice) (Tic tac tic taxi) … I got an accident My leg my leg is broken And I’ll learn yes (oh yes) one day I’ll learn … It wasn’t that a bad choice (wasn’t that) It was clearly a choice (a choice) Her name was Emilia And I can finally stop hearing her voice (that voice) Not crazy anymore
"The thing I've done"
Hey I did something bad hey hey hey It was in may I’m scared to say Don’t wanna pay I wanna stay … I did some bad things, but none as crazy as this Im going to miss You when I’ll be in jail I wanna kiss My boyfriend one more time before I hiss Don’t want to pay I want to stay Don’t want to pay I just want to say I love you all day Why did I do this why did they Made me do that? … I did something (really bad) Don’t wanna pay For what I say Or what I did that day (Why did I do that) … Who will save me? I need to be Free (free) I’m gonna pray Should I say It to the guards? (Guards guards) … I did something (really bad) Don’t wanna pay for what I say (say) Or what I did that day (day) (I don’t have any chances) … The thing I did Was a car crash (ash) Imagine Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-bla la la la Im going to stay Il here since four years hey I pay There is nothing you can say (hey hey hey) … I did something (really bad) Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad (extremely bad)
"The cliff"
There’s the most useless thing in my city A road with at the end a cliff for me, I think it makes some weird ideas coming back (dirty minds but not only) Why is the road so dirty?
I just wanna go on that cliiiiiifff (iiiiiiiiifffffff) I wanna try the death jump (that’s nice that) If You’re not ok with that just put me in jail but I don’t care I will still do it and I don’t mind if I don’t have some mails The cliff is so tempting Just want an ending To that story that I was reading And the text I’m writing I’m clearly so close to go but the problem is that there are so much policemen Oh god I’m going to make a car crash That cliff is so tempting It’s so tempting It’s overwhelming I’m jumping With my car
I crashed my car into the police officers It’s finish for me so end me is a good solution I woke up in the morning Thinking And I finally find something
That cliff is so tempting (If I could do that I promise I would)
I have a curse It is: everything I touch isn’t good anymore (of course)
In my next song you’ll finally know all the story Of my patheti… C life (You finally know oh oh oh) Gonna be the last
"Beginning to End"
Wan a know all the story? I don’t fucking care I’ll sing it
I was already broke But I decided to play monopoly I didn’t have any money To pay the new iPhone I only had a fucking dirty Samsung I played monopoly monopoly in real life I started to pay some people for no reasons My mom and my dad wanted to see me dead and I wanted that too I took so much pills but I woke up in the mornin’ I had some dirty minds and I wasn’t happy in my life I wanted to end me to do the dead jump with my car There were some policemen who were blocking that cliff but I just make a car crash on them
Mhhhh I went to my house and I heard some screams and groans My mom Was playing with a dildo and sleeping with my neighbor My dad saw that and then kill her I saw my dad going in his car and I putted a bomb in there He exploded in his car I putted bombs in bar They all explode My cat died I was at school and I decided to touch my teacher’s boob She slapped me and then I smashed her head against the computer that is laggy
I burried her I made a car accident I know I’ll go in jail I’m going to end me in jail
Four years later I pay in jail
OK BACK TO THE POST:
There are a few more songs but you can see these must be from an individual who is in need of some help. As I mentioned earlier this is on Suno, which is free, so I encourage others here to check out this user "MonumentalPrelude524" on that site and see if you agree that this could be a red flag and there should be some intervention.
A few things I focus on from this user:
They may be a child in an abusive home where the mother is promiscuous and sleeping with the neighbor.
The father is at least an abuser and at most a murderer.
There was an accident and explosion?
This person mentions several times that they had a cat that recently died.
The incident with the teacher may have been their "maths" teacher, as another song is about that. ("maths" says European and not American)
Not sure the age as one song mentions being 9 years old and others mention driving. Although, it wouldn't be the first time a 9 yr old went for a joy ride.
I am posting this in the hopes that someone may recognize the details here or at least point me in the right direction as how to help someone who is clearly putting their pain out there for someone to find. Please help draw attention to this.
Thank you for your time.

Hi All,
First post in this subreddit and looking for insight.
To start of I already feel horrible for putting this in writing but it has been weighing on me for a very long time.
I'm a dad of 3, I have 2 with my wife and 1 from a previous relationship from when we were young.
In recent years I have felt completely emotionally disconnected with my oldest son, I have him every second weekend and it is difficult to have him during this time. All he does is fight with his younger brothers, will not put any effort into spending time with them unless it's something he wants to do and when he wants to do it. Lately he seems to allways have a reason why he can't come or has to skip a day. It's really heart breaking explaining to his little brothers that once again he isn't coming for whatever reason etc. I do my best to keep this all internalised as it makes me feel like a horrible person for feeling this way and would hate for him to know/feel this too.
His mother's side is very wealthy, materialistic and selfish and it has been these values that I have noticed becoming more and more prevalent lately and I believe it's a driving factor in the disconnect I feel. It's also the reason we inevitably seperated way back then.
It was his birthday recently and all he wanted to know was how much each gift cost and it really irritated me. I see more and more of my ex in him now that he is a young teen turned 14. I know this isn't directly his fault and he is a product of his environment.
I hate that I feel this way and I'm really struggling with it.

Sorry this will be a long one, but pls read.
20F, been with my boyfriend 22M for 5 years almost. My partner loves me the most out of anyone I know and I’ve never had to question his loyalty at all or how he feels about me. He is very caring, and we get along really well. However, the last year or two I’ve been putting off ending the relationship.
I don’t know what has prompted it but over the last couple years I’ve felt myself pulling away. Every time he leans in to initiate sex or basic intimacy it makes me squirm and I sometimes dread having to see him because I know I’ll either have to turn him down or go along with it. He is physically attractive but he has some personality traits I initially overlooked that make me unattracted to him. He doesn’t have many friends and also does not have very healthy habits. He’s studying to be an engineer, however apart from his studies he lacks motivation in every other part of his life. There are also things I have been asking him for over the last five years that have never changed. He has probably planned a total of two dates in five years, which I had to ask him to do, and he also is not good at taking initiative in planning anything when I go to see him. He does show his love in other ways, but I have specifically asked for him to plan dates and he hasn’t.
I know this sounds very negative but I do love and care for him a lot. We live an hour apart and he would spend hours travelling on public transport just to come visit me. He is very thoughtful and makes an effort with my family. He never makes me feel invalid when I ask for something I need. I don’t question whether he loves me or not, and he hasn’t really done anything wrong for me to breakup with him.
My biggest thing is I have been overseas for the last five months where we have been doing long distance and I don’t miss him. I’ve realised I have more fun with my friends or family than when I’m with him. He messages me everyday saying how much he misses me and loves me but I’m looking forward to going back to my friends more. I sound quite harsh but I do love him and I can’t imagine a life without him. I’m not sure if this is me becoming too comfortable in a long term relationship and if I am throwing away a decent guy for something more exciting, or if I do need to end things.
If I do break up with him, I would feel awful given he has spent the last five months waiting around for me to return, just for me to break up when we are reunited. This would really hurt him and that is the last thing I want to do. What should I do?

Hi, I’m a 15yo artist and lately I feel like I can’t draw anymore. It’s like, I want to draw, I have ideas, but once I try to draw them they don’t come out the way I want and it just annoys me and it ends up me just scribbling all over my drawing, closing sketchbook and not drawing for at least a week. I’m really scared that I am going to completely lose interest in drawing when it’s the only thing I am good at and the only thing that helps me ‘escape from reality’ + I wanted to be a tattoo artist in the future. Also I think it’s worth mentioning that I have problems with being creative and I feel like what I draw is absolutely boring. I can’t even create an oc. Any tips on how to idk get back on track or something? Because right now I feel like I should quit art.

Hi, I’m a 15yo artist and lately I feel like I can’t draw anymore. It’s like, I want to draw, I have ideas, but once I try to draw them they don’t come out the way I want and it just annoys me and it ends up me just scribbling all over my drawing, closing sketchbook and not drawing for at least a week. I’m really scared that I am going to completely lose interest in drawing when it’s the only thing I am good at and the only thing that helps me ‘escape from reality’ + I wanted to be a tattoo artist in the future. Also I think it’s worth mentioning that I have problems with being creative and I feel like what I draw is absolutely boring. I can’t even create an oc. Any tips on how to idk get back on track or something? Because right now I feel like I should quit art.

Husband of 20 years is probably cheating on me. So here it goes, sll of my dirty secrets.
I, 45f been married to my husband 46, male for over 20 years to a man I met in my early 20’s. We have been very best friends since the day we met but it has been a rocky relationship. I am from an abusive alcoholic family and I was for a time blissfully an alcoholic along with the family. This of coarse was problematic when looking for a date. More than one boyfriend broke up with me because I drank too much, partied too hard and studied too little. Cue in my dream man, he’s responsible, well educated and a heavy drinker. We partied all night and he got up the next day, no matter how hungover and went to work. My mom said that this is normal, it’s how it’s supposed to be. If a man makes it to work everyday then he’s not an alcoholic. By her definition, only a man who misses work can be accused of drinking too much.
I married this replica of my father and for many blissful years we were married and we partied and drank. We’d drink a bottle or two of wine a few nights a week and on weekends we’d stay up all night, often having parties at our home. It was grand fun, until we had kids. All of the sudden I had to handle night feedings and morning diaper changes while tipsy, drunk or hungover. It didn’t take me long to quit, I had already quit for 9 months while pregnant and I had gotten the idea that life is better sober. But my partner didn’t agree. He was drunk most nights while I was pregnant. When I got annoyed and asked him to quit he hid the bottles. I had a second child with him in spite of the drinking (I wanted a matching set), not my best decision but I don’t regret it. When I was at the hospital he looked exhausted so I sent him home to rest. He went home and drank himself into a stupor. My mom had to drive me home from the hospital and when we got home, he was passed out on the living room floor. He slept for another 10 hours like that and he was drunk the entire first week of my daughter’s life. I had to ask my mom to help care for her since I’d had complications with the birth and had over 30 stitches.
His drinking went on for years with me going from kicking him out of the home to drinking with him. Often I would plead with him to quit and he’d refuse. On 4 occasions we separated, each time selling our home and dividing the property. But he’d get sober and he was always very sorry. At this point we had two kids and I needed the help.
Over time things got better and he went years and years without drinking. I had quit altogether after our first child. In fact things go so much better that he asked to start drinking again. He rationalized that he had been sober for 5 years and that he can handle one of two drinks a week. I agreed under the following terms, he can have up to two drinks with dinner once a week. I know this is a terrible decision, I think it’s fair to say that there is a pattern here of gawd awful decisions on my part. This 2 drink agreement lasted a few months but of course two drinks turned into 3, then it turned into a couple nights a week. I saw it was getting out of hand and I banned drinking again.
In the meantime my partner has gotten substantially better looking. It’s through a combination of favourable genetics, some recent work done and some excellent supplements. He aged well going from a 6.5 in his 20’s to a current day 8.5. More than that he’d recently opened a business and it was booming. For the first time in our married life he started to out earn me. For the first 20 years I was the primary wage earner, but now he’s making the more than me (this is temporary as my wage is about to pick up). The woman are noticing him and It’s not lost on me or him. We went to Mexico last year and women were practically following him around and throwing themselves at him. We go out to eat and woman hit on him. They hit on him at the grocery store and they hit on him at work. To his credit he does not respond to this in front of me or the kids. Nor have I ever heard of him hitting on somebody.
I’m a solid 7 - 7.5. I’ve aged okay, I look decent, I’m maybe a little heavier as size 10. But I’m not a hot young thing giggling at him. I am a wife and a mother, so not always sexy, but still quite a lot prettier than average. But realistically on the open market, I’m probably not attracting an 8.5 that earns his kind of money.
About 8 months ago he started coming home from work drunk. He was hiding it but I could smell the booze on his breath. He claimed it was heartburn but I knew better and I ignored it. I just wanted everything to be okay. There was a woman he was working with, he claimed to hate her, she seemed overly interested in him. There were a few incidents, that made me suspicious but he claimed he hated her. He was never home late from work. She moved away and he seemed fine and I was relieved. But a few months after this the drinking started, along with my denial. I guess I kinda figured that who cares if he cheated, she moved away. Now we can get on with our lives.
Recently he’s coming home from work late, but not too late. It’s an hour late here and there. Sometimes he’d claim that he’d have to stay an extra hour. A few times he went completely missing and claimed to have fallen asleep at the office. The problem is that I don’t really know his hours, it’s possible he’s done earlier. For context, he is self employed and rents a space. But other people rent spaces there too,
He’s been coming home drunker and drunker lately while still denying he’s been drinking. I’m ashamed to admit it but I ignored it to the point where I let him drive the kids a few times like that. I was just so far into denial, but I knew somewhere deep down that he was drunk.
He’s normally off work at 5pm and in the car by 5:10pm. But lately he’s not in the car until 5:45pm, ignoring my calls and sometimes coming into the house as late as 6pm. I mean it’s only 45 minutes right? A few times he’d go missing until 7:30 or 8pm and he’d say that he hate a late client appointment and had told me but I forgot. Strangely he’s never hungry when he gets home, in spite of being at work all day. In fact he’s not hungry 2 - 3 times a week. He told me that his stomach is bothering him.
Last night he went missing so I went to his office to look for him. I found him asleep in his office alone with an empty bottle of hard alcohol on his desk. I checked his office drawer and it was full of empty bottles. The office is a disaster, messy and all that. I’m not sure how he sees clients in a room like that and I’m worried that he’s taking appointments drunk. His business is doing really well and building it up was a joint effort. I’m worried that his drinking will destroy everything we built.
I woke him up and he was visibly drunk. He told me that he wants to stay at the office to sleep it off and that no he doesn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t come home. It’s been 6 hours. The thing is, that he hates sleeping in his work clothes and his office is desperately uncomfortable. I just don’t see him staying there overnight alone.
When the drinking flared up 6 months ago, it was just him drinking alone. But when he was sober he was still my best friend. But over time he’s stopped responding when I speak. He tells me that he drinks because he can’t stand to listen to my problems anymore. If I ask him about his day I get a one word answer. More and more he looks at me with contempt while drinking. But even stranger, he wants sex more often, I don’t know why this is. But he’s weird about it and hounding me. He’s going on and on about how to wants to try a sex position we’ve never done, talking about how much he likes it. He’s also looking over my shoulder and checking my phone, which is new. it’s intrusive as I don’t even know his passcode and feel no temptation to check his phone.
He gets paid in cash and has a drawer full of it at the office so I can’t check his cards.
Now I know what you are going to say. He’s definitely cheating, I mean he probably is. But we live in a no fault place so what does it matter if I get proof or not? Also I have two kids to think of and we aren’t in a financial position to leave. I will need time to pay down our joint debt and I need a new job. I’m thinking that the best course of action is to stay silent and improve my situation so that I can support my kids and myself. I think this works for him too as he doesn’t want to get stuck with all sorts of child support or alimony. Giving me time to get back on my feet and improve my financial position works for both of us.
The thing is that if I even bring up getting divorced or separated he says that I am the light of his life. He says that he loves me and that I’m his best friend. He says that he doesn’t want to leave. Then I feel so badly. If I even broach the topic of separating, he’ll shut it down so quickly. He’s overwhelming and persistent and he out talks me. I think there’s no use in talking it out and I don’t see us living together well under some sort of “arrangement”.
Do you have any advice on what to do next? Do you have any idea why he’s acting this way? If he wants to separate why not just do it? Also what’s with the increased sex drive?
One of the oddities is that I’ve been doing really great lately. I’ve lost some weight, my hair is looking good. My business sucks but I’ve been taking on new gigs and retraining. I’m becoming a person that I’m really proud of and every day seems to be getting better. But the better I do, the more contempt he seems to have for me. I can see the bitterness in his drunkenness. And he gets drunks on nights when I have to work and when I have something important going on. He blames the drinking on me. He says that I only talk about myself (maybe I do, I’m trying to improve). He says that I ask too much of him and that I make him contribute to the house too much but I do 100% of the grocery shopping, cooking, lunches, school stuff, homework and kids activities. He comes home and goes straight to bed while complaining that he’s doing too much. Meanwhile I’m breaking myself trying to make the home perfect enough.
Is there any chance that he’s just old and tired and not cheating? I mean he’s only missing for 45 minutes a day? I should mention that he’s stopped answering my calls during the workday and stopped reading my texts.
The weird thing is that I felt relieved to find him surrounded by booze bottles and I’m glad he’s done tonight. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life begging him to be sober. Tonight I could see the contempt in his eyes towards me. I just don’t know that I can move past it. I think I just want to be free from this now.
Do you have any advice? I’ve never been through anything like this and I could use some support and guidance.
I think that taking 4 - 6 months to resolve the situation might be best. This gives me time to find a new job and to pay down some debt and bolster savings.

I am just tired of my family for hounding me about my actions. I just want to know if I should forgive or go no contact because I am tired if arguing for 12 years. So this happend to me when I was 15. I was a sophomore in high school and I was dating a girl we will call (L), so me and L have been going out for about a year and I figured all was great between us. Her family liked me and my family liked her. I figured this is the girl I mind spend forever with. Just wanted to give a little back story. On the day of my birthday me and my little brother we will call (J) shared a birthday we were born 2 years apart but almost on the same day me the 17 and him the 16 of August. It was a good celebration we were all having fun my friends and his friends were attending and the family was there everything was in full swing. L and myself got separated after awhile and I was talking to the guests and sharing jokes and other discussions. I figured L went to my bedroom as she didn't like large crowds. After some time one of J's friends came to look for me and ask were J was. I haven't seen him in awhile either. So I went to search the house. I didn't find him on the main floor or even the renovated basement so I went to the second floor and was hearing thumping sounds. At first I checked my room and no one was in there and J's room was right across from mine. Then I heard a moan. I step up to J's door and opened it. It didn't take long for me to see what was going on. I saw my brother the person I trusted most, the guy I thought always had my bad screwing my girlfriend. I screamed and J and L tried to explain but I walked away. I went outside to get some air and the party was silent at this point. My grandpa asked what happened and I told him everything. He looked sad but said nothing. While I was outside L tried to talk to me and I told her it was over and she is a cheating whore and knew where I stood on cheating. Then she told me something else that crushed my heart even more. She told me that she used me to get to J and they have been screwing around since the 3 month of our relationship. I was devastated, I wanted to hurt my brother. To give a little bit of size difference I was 6ft 260 mostly muscle and boxed alot. My little brother was 5'11 athletic fram but didn't have the same strength I did. So I went inside and wanted to hurt him I was seeing red I didn't care what happened. My grandma stepped in front of me to stop me. My grandma told me if I hurt him I should pack up and leave and the whole family was on her side. I was so mad, I was the one who got hurt and betrayed and now this is happening. So I couldn't do anything as it was my only home. I felt I was left out and the family didn't help my pain either. The. J and L started openly dating. Everyday was a slap in the face to me and my family condoned this kind of behavior. After I hit 18 I moved out keeping low contact and haven't been to abother family gathering since. Of course J and L didn't last and they broke up about 2 years later. J would become a serial cheater and everytine one of his girlfriend would reach out to me ask me why I wasn't around I would always ask if they are J's girlfriend and tell them to leave because he is a serial cheater and will hurt them. Now fast forward the last 4 months everyone in my family wants me to rejoin them and say they miss me or some other crap but I can't get over what happened and how little I felt in that moment and how they all condoned his behavior. I have changed my number 6 times and somehow they keep getting ahold of me. They don't know where I live thank God but I am starting to get worn down. The last time any of them saw me was when my grandpa passed away and I left right away after the funeral. So reddit I am here to ask should I forgive and try again or just keep my peace and move on from them.

Hi, I’m a 15yo artist and lately I feel like I can’t draw anymore. It’s like, I want to draw, I have ideas, but once I try to draw them they don’t come out the way I want and it just annoys me and it ends up me just scribbling all over my drawing, closing sketchbook and not drawing for at least a week. I’m really scared that I am going to completely lose interest in drawing when it’s the only thing I am good at and the only thing that helps me ‘escape from reality’ + I wanted to be a tattoo artist in the future. Also I think it’s worth mentioning that I have problems with being creative and I feel like what I draw is absolutely boring. I can’t even create an oc. Any tips on how to idk get back on track or something? Because right now I feel like I should quit art.

So I've (19F) been texting this guy (22M) since May. He's 3 years older than me. I first met him at church as a mutual older friend.
A little context, though: in my country, all men are required to do mandatory military service, so he's currently in the army serving. He's supposed to be released in a few months.
I met him a few months ago when he was on a break, and he was in our church seeing his family, and because I was one of the only people who knew him, I just talked to him a little and we traded Instas. I thought he was cute, but back at the time I had a boyfriend so I didn't really care much about him.
A few months later, fast forward and I broke up with my now ex boyfriend. He posted something that I recognized on his story so I just casually responded to it, and while we were talking I mentioned that I'd broken up with my boyfriend somewhere along the way. He just laughed but I guess that's where it started, because we've been talking every day since May.
No joke. Every day: when I wake up in the morning there's a good morning text from him, and we always say goodnight to each other before going to bed. He texts me whenever he has access to technology (which is around a few hours a day, seeing as how he's in the military) and we've called a few times, since he gave me his phone number.
He's called me cute a few times, pretty once, but both only just in passing as a brief comment. He's told me I look good without makeup. We've talked about our types and I ticked off quite a few boxes on his checklist (and him on mine as well). I can't tell if he was openly flirting, but he told me he liked girls with glasses (I wear glasses) and chokers (I wear chokers) and short girls (I'm short). We've also arranged to meet up when he's on break and he's promised to spend a whole day with me together. He's also paying for the whole thing, which he says is because he's older but also????? Yes.
But, I have a few skeptical points.

1. He has quite a few female friends. He gave me his private Instagram a few weeks back and he has a lot of female friends (out of the 5-6 people that follow his private Insta, over half are women), some of which he hung out with 1-on-1, and although he hasn't hung out with a female friend 1-on-1 after 2024, I'm still skeptical because a lot of them are prettier than me and also fit his type more.
2. Also, I can't tell if he's just bored/lacking female contact because he's in the military, or if he actually does genuinely like me. Some people around me do say that men are a lot more desperate for female attention in the military, which I guess could be true, and that's making me quite skeptical.
3. I'm a few years younger than him. I can't tell if he sees me as just some cute kid he's hanging out with, or if he actually sees me as a woman. Once I told him I was going out with a male friend of mine and I got a thirty-minute lecture about how you can't trust guys (😭) so I'm worried he just sees me as a little sister to take care of and he just finds me vaguely endearing.
4. The longer we talk, it just seems like the less we have to talk about. Don't get me wrong, he still texts me every morning, makes sure to tell me if he can't respond because of this or that reason, and texts me goodnight, but it just seems like our conversations are getting repetitive and I'm paranoid that he's getting bored.
5. He's also mentioned in passing that he's starting to lose major hope in dating due to the conditions around him and the people around him. I just laughed it off because I've said that many times before getting into relationships, but also, what if he's genuine?

Any advice would be appreciated. Do you guys think he likes me? Am I being massively played? What am I supposed to do next in this situation?? What should I do next?

I don't even know how to start this...
I have autism and have had severe trauma throughout my life and in my last session I was talking to my therapist about how I often feel like a lyric from one of my favourite songs: "And I was so young when I behaved twenty-five. Yet now I find I've grown into a tall child"
My therapist remarked that it may be that my brain is likely the same as it was when I was e.g. 15, because I was forced to grow up early (or something similar to that, don't direct quote me as I am not a psychologist 😂). It did make sense to me as I have very childish interests, such as stuffed animals and cartoons being my special interest. That and I don't feel as though I've changed as much in the last 5yrs as everyone else has, I had always acted mature for my age and it eventually just caught up to be my actual age in my mid to late teens.
I mentioned this to my boyfriend as I thought it was quite interesting and he immediately acted offended. He said that it feels wrong to be dating me if I'm mentally a minor and saying that it's illegal. I told him hat it doesn't change anything because I am an adult, I have the power to consent for myself, I have my own place, I almost have my bachelor's degree etc but he still just kept saying it "feels wrong". I told him that it doesn't mean that I am mentally 15, just that my brain works differently to other's.
He's been barely talking to me the last few days, we've been dating since we were 17/18 and I just feel so powerless. He's usually constantly over at my place but hasn't came over since we had this conversation. I understand that it must be jarring to hear but I don't know how to get him to understand that I am still the same person and nothing has changed. Do I just give him space and hope he comes back?? I honestly have no idea what to do.

I feel like major media outlets have really left out important bits and pieces of the kids’ testimony (not surprising, unfortunately).
I heard Jessica Machado on LTL say that John’s niece said on the stand that the actual fight in Aruba started when Karen was in the kids’ room before the kids went to bed (being used as a babysitter as always), when John came into the kids room sloppy drunk. He started getting on the nephew about using an iPad, and Karen said something like, “he’s just a kid it’s ok,” and John got mad. I’m guessing that’s when John went downstairs in the elevator and Karen came looking for him.
It seems like Karen was always advocating for the kids to have little privileges and stuff; you don’t do that if you don’t care. I’m kind of disappointed to hear that the kids said Karen was nice sometimes and sometimes ignored them — I’m guessing “ignored” is really just her trying to put her foot down and tell John to parent. Sometimes when you’re the more involved one, you want the other parent to step in and step up, but then if they don’t, the kids miss out and the parent who normally does it gets blamed, not the one slacking. I have two dogs with my boyfriend, but if I said I need you to take care of them and give me a break, they wouldn’t get walked or fed. Not maliciously. He just would forget or not do it or not do things the way they like. Not the same as kids, but you get the point.
I also don’t know what the expectations were — she was John’s girlfriend of two years, not wife, not their mom — and she did so much more than most girlfriends ever would. It’s just really bothering me how she’s being portrayed. It’s okay for her to want time off from them sometimes. Anyone else feeling people and John’s family and niece and nephew are being pretty unfair with their expectations? Obviously not blaming the kids since it’s prob Peggy in their heads.

we wake up in the morning and he immediately gets on his phone. we go out to eat and he STRUGGLES not to get on his phone. we'll be in the middle of a conversation and he'll get on his phone. we finish having sex and he gets on his phone. we'll plan quality time together and he'll get on his phone. and i'm tired of having to give him that look.
for one, I feel inadequate. i'm not as entertaining as his phone. on the other hand, I realize he's fully addicted to it. for two, I don't like feeling like his mother. he can obviously do whatever he wants and can be on his phone as much as he likes but....I feel like it's impacting my relationship with him.
(he doesn't think anything impacts his relationship with me. we're always "fine" in his eyes which usually feels like a way to shift all of the "problem-having" onto me. when that's also not the case. he just won't vocalize until he's snapped.)
he is fully addicted to his phone, i've vocalized my need for quality time so much and he tells me that when we sit down and watch TV together that that is "quality time" so he kinda uses that against me anytime I express the need to have time with him. so he's fulfilled but I am not. I have explained all of this to him and he either ignores it or says something like "i guess i'm not a good boyfriend" or that my needs need to change.
i've said stuff about him being addicted to his phone and he'll just roll his eyes. and any rare time that i'd rather just chill on my phone he uses against me.
i'm the type of person who likes to wake up together and cuddle and tell each other about our dreams before getting up to make some coffee to sit on our porch with our animals and talk. then make some breakfast while we feed our animals and go over what we plan on doing that day. he acts like that takes all the effort in the entire world but i garuntee if one of his buddies wanted to do all that he would.
he wouldn't necessarily NOT do it with me but it doesn't feel the same when i have to ASK to spend our morning together.....isn't that a given?
idk, just how do i approach this in a way that i can get actual responses and progress with this?

May got out to a lightning start for me, continuing the torrid April pace for a while before cooling off a bit in the back end of the month. That's partially by design, as I jumped into a pair of longer games (one enormously so) which I won't finish until deeper into June, but I've also noticed I'm slowly bleeding gaming time from my evenings. As my kids get incrementally older and the days grow incrementally longer entering summer, an hour that would previously be my own is now deferred to them, and that adds up over the course of an entire month.
Not that I'd trade my kids, you understand.
(Games are presented in chronological completion order; the numerical indicator represents the YTD count.)
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#27 - Contra: Hard Corps - GEN - 8/10 (Great)
It's been fascinating to watch the Contra series evolve over time, and Hard Corps on the Sega Genesis is no different. With no Mode 7 (the SNES' proprietary isometric viewpoint mode) available on the system, necessarily some of the top down content from Contra III would need to be altered or removed, and that begged the question of what would take its place: after all, a return to basic sidescrolling action might feel like a big step down, and we can't have that. So I think I expected Hard Corps to throw in a new wrinkle to keep the formula a bit more fresh. What I did not expect was for it to make three enormous changes.
For one, Hard Corps has four different characters to choose from, and each is actually unique. It's not just the look - where else can you play a cybernetic wolfman? - but they've got different sizes and hurtboxes as well. And while each starts with the same basic low power machine gun, each has a completely different loadout of possible weapon upgrades, ensuring that all four play very differently from one another outside of the fundamentals of movement. To that end, the two weapon toggle of Contra III is expanded in Hard Corps, allowing you to hold all four of your upgraded weapons simultaneously and switch between them at will, which adds a new layer of depth and strategy to the action. Building upon this notion of enhanced player choice even further, the second big change is that the game has branching paths. After the first stage you make a choice that determines where you head for the second level, and then later on you make another choice that creates further divergence, such that the game has four main endings (and a secret fifth!), all with their own dedicated unique stages. It's for that reason possibly the most replayable game so far in the franchise; I myself did a run through of each ending using a different character per run to get a feel for them all.
This leads to the final big change, which is the only one I don't regard a resounding success: the entire game is basically a boss rush. Let's zero in on the main path that I followed on my primary playthrough and add up all mini-bosses and full boss phases. What number might you expect that to come out as? A dozen or so? Well, sorry about your naiveté, but the answer is 43: it's bosses all the way down. This is a MUCH more mentally taxing load than previous Contra games where you could kind of skate through the non-boss sections with good fundamentals. And that's just one of four possible paths through the game! It's absurd! It's also way more fun than it sounds it would be from the description, but I've heard people say Hard Corps is the toughest Contra game and now I know why. I do miss just running and gunning and dropping dudes in one hit before a thrilling finale; it's hard to be properly wowed by a boss fight when that's all you ever see. But nevertheless Contra: Hard Corps is lives up to the legacy of greatness the franchise had up until that point established...just steel yourself mentally for the extensive memorization it requires of you.
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#28 - Ancient Enemy - PC - 5.5/10 (Semi-Competent)
Solitaire is one of those games that nobody really wants to play. It’s a game of convenience and opportunity, only attractive in the absence of something better, which is to say “nearly anything else at all.” Slightly more entertaining are variations on the form, such as Mahjong Solitaire or Free Cell, where certain cards/tiles are locked until the ones above them have been cleared away. These are still just time wasting games for people with nothing else to do, but when presented as a discrete set of challenges there’s a bit more appeal. Do you know they say that every one of the 32,000 numbered games of FreeCell on classic Windows operating systems was supposedly beatable? Did you know a very bored teenage me once decided to see if I could prove it by playing and beating every single unique game of FreeCell in order? I got into the low 30s or so before I questioned what the hell I was doing with my life and wisely moved on.
Well, Ancient Enemy is a game for people with nothing better to do, masquerading as a game that would qualify as "something better to do." It’s an RPG, I guess, but the gameplay revolves entirely around a solitaire variant. You have a deck of “stock cards” numbered 0-9 and start each encounter (“hand”) by flipping the top one. Then on the board you have to collect a card with a number adjacent to the one you’re displaying - 0 serving as a bridge between 1 and 9. Getting a card reveals any card trapped immediately below it and enables that card to be collected as well. If you can’t make a move, you can flip a new stock card over to get a random new number until your deck runs out. Some levels are simple puzzles in this vein, trying to clear all the cards from the board. Most encounters though are battles, where you do the exact same thing, except the color of the card you collect enables you to attack, defend, or cast a spell. So it’s turn-based combat, except each turn is you basically clearing as many cards as you can from the board to juice up your attack or bolster your defense, and that’s about it.
Now, at first, this is actually way more fun than I’m making it sound. I mean, I like solitaire type games for what they are, and the extra mechanics definitely do enrich the experience. You get consumable wild cards, battle boards have bonus cards with instant benefits, you get powers that manipulate the board, new types of cards appear, all good stuff. The problem is that the game completely runs out of these new ideas about a quarter of the way through, at which point you’re just going through the motions until the end, accompanied by a complete nothing of a story that I was confident I had figured out, only to find that the ending was somehow worse than the cliche I’d been anticipating. Thus, the game sadly settled into that exact same niche of games it was supposed to improve upon and supplant. Which I suppose is ok…if you’ve got nothing better to do.
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#29 - Snakebird Primer - PC - 7/10 (Good)
I follow a general rule of always playing game franchises in order, but Snakebird Primer is a unique case wherein the developers of the original Snakebird decided that it was too off-putting to new players, and so they made a sequel that they explicitly wanted newcomers to play first. A "primer" in truth to ease you into the overall Snakebird challenge, as it were. So when I decided to check out Snakebird, I thought all right: just this once I'll do it your way.
So how does Snakebird Primer shake out? Well...it's fine. It's a jaunty kind of puzzle game, with bright colors, friendly art and music, and general good vibes. In each stage you control one or more segmented "snakebirds" and have to get them all to the rainbow portal to complete the level. Sometimes you need to eat fruit to open the portal as well, but that's the entire game in a nutshell. It's a very simple concept, complicated only by the fact that a snakebird that has no body segments touching the ground will fall, and so each stage is a kind of pathing challenge, tasking you to figure out the right order of operations to reach the end. The levels are very well paced and designed if you just go in order: there aren't any hand-holdy tutorials, but new ideas are introduced organically at various intervals, and the challenge always feels reasonable, especially because you can undo any number of moves at will, like stepping through code to find an error.
There is, however, a significant difficulty spike for the last couple levels, which is pretty jarring. And when you add to that the fact that the designer of Baba Is You said he built a lot of his design philosophy around the original Snakebird, I've got to admit I'm a lot less keen on checking that one out. It's in that same realm of "enter these six dozen commands in precisely the right order" that made Baba Is You eventually feel more tedious and frustrating to me than anything else, so I think for now I'm happy to have just played the "lite" version instead.
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#30 - It Takes Two - PS4 - 8.5/10 (Excellent)
When trying to write down a genre for It Takes Two in my tracking spreadsheet, I wanted to put "Yes". It's as though the developers wanted to make a bunch of different kinds of games and, rather than accepting any limitations (self-imposed or otherwise), they just found a way to do it all at once. It Takes Two is a platformer. It's a third-person shooter. It's a puzzle game. It's a rhythm game. It's a racing game. It's a stealth game. It's a boss battling action adventure. It's a minigame collection. It's a romantic comedy. It's an exploration playground. One minute you're flying around on a jetpack chucking Captain America shields at devils and the next you're literally playing a timed game of chess. None of the things that It Takes Two does would be characterized as masterpiece forms of their respective genres, but that's not the point. There's sufficient depth and development of each mechanic that it never feels like a lazy tack-on to check a box - and that in itself is beyond impressive - but it's the sheer number of different ideas tossed into this package that make it truly special.
It's hard for me to even review this game, frankly. Part of that is because I feel a strong bias towards the game for the audaciousness of what it tries to achieve, and for the way it inspires me to keep stretching myself in new ways however I can. But it's also hard because I don't remember the whole thing. It Takes Two is both fresh in memory, having just finished it, and yet far away and mingled in my mind with similar bits of similar other adventures (Tearaway foremost among them). Why is that? Well, I first booted up It Takes Two in May of 2022 as a co-op experience to share with my wife - quite fitting, as it turns out, given the nature of the game's plot of trying to reconcile an embattled couple. We'd only play in smaller bursts of 1-2 hours at a time, but every session we played it felt like we were playing a new, different game. Music to my ears, but much harder on my gaming-challenged wife, who took longer to adjust to each mechanical shift. Pretty soon we were playing less and less often, even as I was playing a game like Tearaway early on that occupied some similar design space in my head. Soon we stopped playing at all. When I tried to suggest resuming this title over the past year, I was repeatedly rebuffed until finally a month ago I managed to wear her down enough that we picked it up again for about an hour a week. So it is that the first half of the game is fuzzy and nebulous to me, even as I recall that I loved playing, whereas the back half is much fresher, and it's nigh impossible for me to separate my wife's frequent frustrations from my own experience - especially since I've been playing on a controller experiencing heavy stick drift, so managing the camera was a nightmare through no fault of the game's.
All that said, how could I not recommend this game? It's best played with two experienced gamers, but the story only fully lands if you play as a couple, so there's a bit of potential for a disconnect there, as I experienced. It's not a perfect game. But it is an incredibly ambitious one that had me routinely grinning from ear to ear, despite the grumblings on the couch next to me. When I pointed out to my wife that we finished the game in May 2024, almost to the day when we started back in '22, she said "They should've called it It Takes Two Years." We're both glad it's over, but I think for very different reasons.
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#31 - Rogue Legacy 2 - PS5 - 7/10 (Good)
Some game sequels try to really shake things up and try something different from the one before. Final Fantasy is probably the biggest and most obvious example of this, but you can also see it in virtually every Super Mario Bros. game, in the Castlevania series, and the list goes on extensively from there. On the other hand, some game sequels treat their predecessors like rough drafts to be perfected. With these, the idea is to take the vision for the previous game, use the increase in time/budget/developer expertise now available, and try to execute on it more completely than was possible before. When a game like this is successful, there becomes almost zero reason to ever play the original game (other than possibly its story), because the new version has replaced it entirely as the definitive experience.
Rogue Legacy 2 is one of these latter types of games. Everything from the first game is pretty much still there (bosses excepted): enemies, basic combat and room design, character classes, traits, progression, etc. It immediately feels like "Hey, I've played this before," yet a cursory look reveals a huge wealth of additional content over the first game. Classes are better differentiated, you get new weapons, more spells, special abilities, new items, new upgrades, new explorable regions, new mechanics, new new new. It truly is a total replacement for Rogue Legacy 1 in this regard, a "go ahead and uninstall that thing forever because we've got it all right here and then some" type of mission statement. I was amazed at how I kept finding ever more avenues of progression and discovery, even many hours into the game, In fact, I never did manage to play as every class, and each class has a variant form as well, most of which I didn't even unlock. It's overflowing with stuff.
And I think that's why it didn't work quite as well for me as the first game: it's all too much. Now there are four different types of currency, all acquired in different ways, all for different upgrade paths. You're always competing with yourself on what to level up between runs because there are too many choices and all of them seem pretty good, but as you're finding your early groove the game throws a big wrench in there: labor costs. While each upgrade has a set gold cost that increases as you level it up, early on the game adds a universal tax mechanic to the entire upgrade tree, making it increasingly prohibitive to spend your money on stuff, and it feels awful. Rogue Legacy 1 had a similar system where each upgrade cost 10g more than the previous, but in the sequel these escalate far more rapidly, to the point where you'll complete a huge run and still feel like you can only afford one or two upgrades that barely move the needle. It's a pure inflationary grinding system meant to pad playtime, and I'm not about that. I played RL1 through multiple New Game + levels, but I was thrilled to beat RL2's final boss and move on because the economy is so frustrating. Other than that though, it's got quite a lot going for it.
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#32 - Undertale - PS4 - 7/10 (Good)
When is some information too much information? Undertale is notorious for its rabid fan community insisting that there is only one "right" way to play the game, and so if you've ever heard of Undertale there's a good chance you already know what that preferred method is: pacifism. Undertale takes a unique approach to the JRPG in two primary ways: first, that defending against enemy attacks is an active system pretty much akin to dodging in a bullet hell game, and second that you almost never actually need to choose the "Fight" command from the battle menu in order to succeed in an encounter. The argument from the community is that you must play in this fully pacifist manner, largely because of a design decision that thoroughly punishes players who do not, only revealed after the game's conclusion. Thus, these players are "helping" curious newcomers by saving them from falling victim to a fairly vindictive design choice that would create a lot of frustration.
The problem with that approach is that Undertale makes it abundantly clear from the outset that you have the option for these alternative combat approaches, trains you on how to use them, and then gives you a positive feedback loop for choosing that direction with your gameplay. Which means the discourse surrounding this game effectively undermines not only the game's own ability to surprise and educate you, but also the authorial intent of that same design decision, which in context is a conscious player decision to go against the grain and suffer the possible consequences of doing so. In short, I wish I'd never heard of Undertale before I played it, as I'm sure I would've had a much better time.
As it stands, Undertale is still a highly creative take on the genre that, despite an aesthetic I didn't care for and writing that leaned a bit too hard at times into "lol I'm so random" territory for my tastes, still managed to get me invested with some of its characters and even make me laugh aloud at times. I was particularly impressed with that aforementioned approach to combat, as each enemy introduced unique hazards to avoid, so fighting a new monster was far more exciting here than in a standard turn-based RPG where the only meaningful question is "How much damage did this whatever move do to me?" So for those reasons I applaud Undertale. Even still, there's a lot of walking back and forth with no major purpose beyond "it was decided the game should be a little bit inconvenient here," adding some unnecessary tedium to the mix. In short, Undertale's a generally good time, but if you want it to be even better, just pretend you haven't read anything I just said.
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#33 - Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales - PS5 - 7.5/10 (Solid)
2018 was a big year for Miles Morales. In the fall he showed up in the PS4 title Marvel's Spider-Man as a major supporting character, and by the end of the year he was stunning cinema audiences in the fantastic Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse as the primary protagonist. It's no surprise then that by 2020, with his brand so hot, Sony and Insomniac Games would cash in with a follow-up title to the hit PS4 game with Miles front and center. And for the most part, the game is what you'd expect it to be from that basic pitch: more of the same from 2018, only focusing on Miles' family, his new home of Harlem and its people, and his path to becoming a fully fledged hero in his own right. That's all fine, but here's the problem: all of it has been done better before, and recently to boot. Miles' story of personal growth and family drama was handled better in the Spider-Verse series, even though MSM:MM wisely walks chooses to walk some different beats along the way. "Superhero of Harlem" was done masterfully by Netflix with the Luke Cage series (the first season, at least) back in 2016, and MSM:MM doesn't even try to address any issues beyond the most surface level. And the "more of the same" gameplay?
Well, admittedly that's still pretty good. Web swinging is as fun as ever to the point that there's an XP challenge to web swing at high speed for a full cumulative hour of real time and I caught myself thinking, "Hmm, maybe..." There are fast travel points that unlock relatively early on, but the joy of traversal feels like the main point of the game, so why would you bother? Miles also gets some new Spidey moves related to his bio-electric powers, and these are really fun and impactful to pull off, such that "more of the same" isn't in this case a damning phrase. And yet, it's also distinctly not "more, but better." In order to emphasize your new powers, the goons you fight (now including women for the first time I can recall ever seeing in a superhero game like this) have upgraded their own abilities as well, which means the simple pleasure of chaining big combos is a bit diminished. Maybe this enemy just blocks all your basic attacks and stops you cold. Maybe this one turns the tables to dodge and counter you. Or maybe you're just constantly surrounded by a flood of dudes with guns and rocket launchers and you feel like you never get a chance to press "punch" without being thoroughly punished.
Now add to that the game's relatively brief length and general lack of meaningful activities compared to its predecessor, as well as its truly awful villains and the ho-hum plot that they service, and you've got a title that's decidedly a step back from what came before. Of course, what came before was excellent, so even a step back still lands you in territory that's quite fun to play around with. My 6-year-old summed it up best when he came downstairs to ask me a question one day and caught me playing: "Whoa...how are you Spider-Man?!" Which is to say that Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales is a game that really makes you feel like a wannabe Spider-Man who hasn't gotten it all figured out just yet. And I guess that's all right.
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Coming in June:

• I've had less time for PC gaming lately for a couple of different reasons, but I'm expecting that to be a temporary thing, and I don't think I'm in danger of failing to finish Mass Effect 3 by the end of June. I didn't realize the version of the game I had included all the DLC. Nor did I actually know what any of the DLC was. So I was quite a ways into the game and feeling great about my progress when I got suspicious that the section I was playing wasn't actually base game content. I looked it up and found that, in fact, about 90% of what I'd played to date was DLC and I'd barely actually started the base game itself. That explains why the main story was taking a while to get off the ground, at any rate.
• Speaking of getting off the ground, my journey through The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom began impatiently a few months after release, but I took an extended break from the game and have now spent pretty much all of May continuing my thorough trek through the game world. I'm well over 200 hours into the game and am only several days away from having explored the entirety of the game's map. At which point I believe I'll finally advance the main quest past its initial stage.
• In my review for Rogue Legacy 2 above I mentioned the Castlevania franchise, which I feel I can speak to as a whole given that I've finished nearly every game in the series to date. Unsurprisingly I felt most drawn to the metroidvania style games, so there was a layer of disappointment in exhausting the last of those to discover. Disappointment that will soon be temporarily eradicated when I boot up Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night, produced by that same creative mind.
• And more...

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Edit: DO NOT message me a simple hi or hello, with no information about you, Put some effort in to your message like i have, come on. Day+Attempt#200
Hello everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read, I know its long, I know - I know. But its worth the read, Trust me. I appreciate you immensely.
Here's a bit about me,
My name is Jay, I live on the East coast of the US. I'm looking for love - like everyone else on here.., but you may not believe or even be doubtful that I've never had a GF before with me being 26, but its true. I'm simply just not willing to "be with" just anyone and I'm very picky. I want us to be a match, more than just have similar things in common.
One thing I have always been told is that I'm a "Real Catch, I'd be extremely lucky to have someone like you" - WELL THEN TAKE ME. I'M FREE. LOL.
About me:
Physically -
~I'm a semi-tall guy, around 5'10.
~I'm thin but muscular.
~I have dirty blonde/ brown hair.
~Changing colored eyes.
~A voice nice enough to melt all your safeguards and get right into your heart and weak spots.
~I do not have any tattoos or piercings. Though I would like to get some eventually.
If you'd like to see a picture of me just ask and I'll show you - IF I may see you as well, I simply just don't want a picture of me out there for anyone to see.
-If there's anything else you'd like to know just ask.
Otherwise -
~I do have 3 pet bunnies I would be more than happy to show you, they are extremely cute.
~I'm a very honest and down to earth guy.
~I'm very patient and easy going.
~I'm very curious and inquisitive. I will try to ask everything I can to learn all about you haha.
~I'm Very VERY Kind & Caring, I will probably ask how you are feeling a bajillion times a day, simply out of care for you.
~I can get pretty clingy, and will always want your attention and to be talking with you. If i have someone im interested in i wont want to talk to anyone else🤷‍♂️
~I'm very trustworthy - you can confide in me, and entrust your deepest secrets and I wont tell a soul.
~I'm a HUGE hopeless romantic, im old fashioned and will always try to impress you.
- I'm, a BIG softie even though I may look a smol bit intimidating, but I'd do just about anything to see you smile or laugh. And yes.., I do mean anything.
~I'm a big goof - I will get up to some silly shenanigans ALL the time, I will crack dumb jokes and send you memes and tik toks just to make you happy, even if its from across the room I'd wait to see your reaction lol.
~I'm extremely loyal, and would never even think of cheating.
~I will cook for you, and clean up too, even around the house, I'm very self productive and don't ask for much. Just don't forget to kiss the cook.
~I'd also love to just cuddle up and watch a movie or read a book together, anything to get us closer. Id try to take you out on dates whenever possible haha. I have a million SUPER romantic date ideas I have but have never had anyone interested enough in me to take out. Here's your chance ;)
~I will always want to share stuff I find interesting with you, and try to share every moment of every day with you. I'm not looking for someone who can only talk for a small amount of time, I want someone who's willing to put in all the effort I put into them back into me, it goes both ways. If I'm "with" someone you are my TOP priority nobody and nothing else would be. You would be the only person I'd truly want to talk to, so rest assured I would NEVER cheat, even more so because no one is interested in me - Hence why I'm here hahaha.
I'm sure there is more to me than this snippet but I cant think of more at the moment haha, so get to know me and find out more about me.
Some of my interests are: Engineering- I'm a nerd. I admit it. I love being technical and hands on, I love building things. All kinds of things, from furniture, machinery, and reverse engineering anything I find. I love learning how things work and trying to improve things.
Music - I prefer music with a very fast pace, or with some very meaningful lyrics I can relate to. I love to sing along to music and songs that have a deep meaning behind it I can sympathize with makes it all the better. Some bands I like are: Bad Omens, Beartooth, Demon Hunter, MIW, I9K - The list goes on. I'm a bit of a metalhead unfortunately.
TV Shows & Movies - I love watching shows, and I'd love to stream some shows and have some E-dates with you, to get to know you, or if you are close to me, maybe we could do it in person. Some shows I like or more of the Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Comedy, Action, stuff like: National Treasure, Halo, BattleBots, Rick and Morty, AHS, Anything Marvel or DC, The Witcher, Wednesday, The Sandman, The Magicians, The Umbrella Academy, ETC.
Gaming - Yes yes I know, Basic guy likes basic stuff. But gaming has been a thing for me since forever. I know most of you wont care or want to hear that, but I'll leave out the specifics on this part unless you are interested in that, MEGA Bonus points if you are.
Here's a lists of Cons to dating me-
~I'm not Ryan Reynolds. Disappointing, I know.
~I will fight you on what goes on pizza lol.
~I'm not rich.., Yet.
~I can't pronounce Worcestershire.
~I'm slightly forgetful, but with good reasoning.
~(Not really a con but- some might disagree) I still have ALL of my firsts, Do with that what you will c:
~I've got an endless pile of love and affection and no one to give it to! What a dilemma! Help me fix it?
Other than that I'll save the rest for a bit more of getting to know each other.
Here's a bit of what I'm looking in you:
~Preferably someone with lots of free time, and loves to chit chat. I'm seriously not interested in getting 1 message a day. Though I understand people get busy, I personally am not willing to try to learn about you and form something with 7 responses a week. Effort gets reciprocated and I appreciate the time you put in me.
~Physically: -I’m not personally attracted to anyone who’s “curvy/ chubby”, I apologize. Not a shallow thing, I just dont have the attraction chemical in my brain for that, I’m sorry. -If you’re shorter than me, thats a plus to me. -I love dimples, if you have those when you smile, bonus points 😊 - I’m not sure what else to put.., but as for nsfw wise find out😂
~I'm a sucker for a different accent other than American, and if you have an Posh English accent you have already won my heart.
~I'm also only really looking for someone within the ages of 18-35. I don't want anyone old enough to be my mom lol.
~I'd prefer (But not a must) people NOT on the other side of the world, as other time zones SUCK. I don't expect to find anyone who also has never had a boyfriend either, but that would be a real plus. I also don't mind a LDR, but I don't want that forever. But it gives us time to get to know each other.
But as for attributes I'm looking for in you:
~Someone who is above all else very very Loyal and would never cheat.
~Someone who is Honest, and will tell me the truth over a little white lie.
~Someone who is Kind & Caring, who'd constantly check on me, and accept me for who I am & help me improve day to day.
~Someone who is trustworthy, and I can count on to keep my secrets safe, or even just help me remember things.., I do tend to be somewhat forgetful.
~Someone who is very Patient and wants to see me succeed and will help me do so, just like I would help you. Even if its small day to day things, I would appreciate your company ANY time.
~I want a partner who is Affectionate, can reciprocate, and loves to snuggle and talk about their day, and what their interests are, and what makes them happy.
~Someone who can admit they get clingy or overprotective is a bonus.
~A partner with good communication is key, if something wrong we have to be able to talk about it.
~A partner who likes to game with me or at least watch me play would be a plus but not a requirement.
~Someone with a good sense of humor and like to joke around, I am a big goof after all and I love to joke around. Sending memes is always appreciated and good to cheer people up too!
~I'd prefer someone with the same music taste, but not a requirement, Plus if you wouldn't mind if I send you love songs occasionally that's a bonus, or sending me some back haha.
~Being willing to voice call is a must, Texting forever is not the way to go. I have to know what your voice is like haha, later on we can video call if you are comfortable with that. I prefer chatting on Discord because Reddit messages of any kind I'm sure you know are unreliable and sucky in general. So please send me your discord if you have one :)
~I would LOVE to see picture of your pets if you have any. Bonus points if it includes your beautiful self haha.
I'm sure there is more I'm looking for but I cant think of it right now haha, I will have to edit this when I think of it.
Please tell me about you as an opener! I told you a good bit about me, now its your turn haha.
Tell me some things like -
~What's your name?
~Where are you from?
~How old are you?
~What are your hobbies / interests?
~What about my post interested you?
~Where is my TV Remote?!
~Selfie? Pet pics?
~Hit me with your best joke or meme :)
~What's your favorite candy?
I'd LOVE to get to know you, and see where things go.
But yeah, I know it was long I'm sorry haha. Send me a message and lets get to know each other! :)

I left a bad relationship. Though I wish that person the best, I remained bitter and scared. I was alone, as they were the only one I had. So with them gone, I started talking to random people for company. Joining servers and games, anywhere really. Then there was this boy who popped up seemingly no where. We met the same way I met my past lover. The same game too. But I was friends with his abusive boyfriend at the time. We'll call them Boy and Boyfriend. Boyfriend was a cheater, and often flirted with me. Wanting to have a sexual relationship. Whenever I asked about Boy, he would brush it off. Saying how Boy was okay with it. I saw the sighs of abuse from Boyfriend, but I didn't say anything. After all, I only saw a few things from them. He was friendly, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. What broke me is that he ended up masturbating, moaning my name in call in front of Boy. They ended up having a mental break, blaming Boy right after. I couldn't take it, despite it only being a week. I had a private call with Boy and told him the behaviors and signs. He didn't even realize the bad behavior since Boyfriend has been like this to them for 5 years. Long story short, Boyfriend confessed to me. I rejected him, which caused him to break up with Boy. Boy and I pretended to date after, and kick Boyfriend out. Boy ended up pretending to date me as a way to get out of sticky situations. They had a friend who was also in love with him but was poly and wouldn't leave Boy alone. Fast forwarding, it's been 9 months already. Honestly, I'm surprised how fast time moved. The first few months of my ex leaving me, I was shattered. Desperate and wishing to go back with them. Boy changed that for me, as we started hang around each other 24/7. He ended up confessing to me once basically a month after Boyfriend, and I rejected him. Telling him he needed to heal. But he constantly left me loving messages and blew up my phone from all the attention he was giving me. I have to admit, I liked it. I started getting feelings around month 5, where I was telling my feelings to a mutual friend of ours. We'll call him Mutual. Mutual and I were on a server call, and I was telling him about my emotions for Boy. I didn't know if it was desperation or truly love. Mutual kept saying it was love. But I didn't want to fall in love again. I always get hurt by it. The person always ends up cheating on me and fucking off. I felt pathetic. Whilst Mutual and I were talking, Boy joined in. Mutual slips up about our convo, and I quickly shut him up. Boy mistook it as me hiding something from him. I told him to not worry about it. He ended up getting silent in call, which made me feel guilty. I ended up telling him about my feelings, but I said I'm still confused. Boy left call after. I sent him an apology. And then he explained how he left isolated for me not telling him. I ended up yelling at him, saying how those were MY feelings. Not his. And how I wasn't ready to tell him anything yet. He apologized after, but that situation never left my mind. It's been 4 months after, Boy has been as flirty as ever. I started sending him long messages and calls, essentially every day, all day together. We would go on rants, have deep emotional talks. We planned our future together, ways to get married, such personal things that I forget my fears and started looking foward to the future. But after he leaves, I feel get the moments where I should leave. Cut contact, run away because I get scared. And it barely has been a year with them, and yet I've fallen so deep. I know how I am when I'm in love, I get obsessive over them. I hate the person I become when I fall. I wish I never had to rely on love, it's a drug to me.
Sometimes I thank him for being there but at the same time, I wish he wasn't there. So that way, I never would have feel the things I feel. I know I suffer through depression, but I will never admit it. He doesn't know that I do, he doesnt know if he wasn't there, maybe I wouldn't be here. And I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing. I ended up attempting at one time. I told my friends how I needed to be alone, and staged it as isolation. I put a belt around my neck and tightened it to the point I couldn't breathe. It was the same way my cousin died, so I copied after her. I stopped because Boy texted me. I can't even remember the text, but I know it was a text full of praise for me with all possible heart emotions he could have used. I broke after that, as Boy technically saved my life.
I never told anyone about that attempt. I stopped self-harming, but still go through intense episodes and suicidal thoughts. Boy distracts me from them. He spends hours with me even when he's tired. He listens to my rants, my crazes, and whenever there's something that remotely interests me, he researches it to talk to me about it. And all I could question is "Why? How could you do that for someone like me?" I wish he would go away already. So I won't get attached. Because I know in my heart, he would leave me again.

I have had body issues due to trauma my whole life. I had always thought I was fat but looking back I was always very slim. People always told me k was pretty and could be a model but I never saw that in myself. Growing up in an abusive family, I was put down a lot and had my insecurities used against me. This developed a lot of self esteem issues creating an unsure image of myself. Before dating my current boyfriend, I was with my ex of 13 years who was verbally and emotionally abusive as well. He would call me fat when I wasn’t and then anorexic when I had actually lost more weight being down to 103lbs in my mid twenties. In 2019 we had broken up and even though he was no good for me and I knew that, I had a very hard time with it. I also lost my dad a few months later which I think sealed the deal for what was to come. Covid rules went in to place around this time making it impossible to go get groceries yet Uber eats and things like that were still running to an extent. I lost myself and would order out a lot. I feel like I lost such a huge part of me that I no longer cared about myself and before knowing it I had gained lots of weight.
In 2021 I tried dating again and had no problem meeting new guys. I’m sure it was my personality that attracted them to me which was great and what I wanted however nothing worked out long term. I knew I wanted to lose weight but it was very hard for me and I didn’t even know where to start. I continued dating and said if I found someone who liked me for me now, then I’d know it’s real and would cherish me when I did lose weight. In 2022 I met a guy like no other. I almost swiped left but something drew me to him. He was awesome and so sweet. He was everything I ever wanted in a man and he seemed to like me for me, all of me. Through dating my self confidence came back, if anything it rose and I would actually feel hot and beautiful, something I never thought about myself before. He never put me down, told me my body was beautiful and made me feel amazing but in the back of my mind I still knew I wanted to lose weight. He supported me but told me I didn’t need to lose weight and that I was perfect the way I was. Throughout our whole relationship he would compliment me, making me feel on top of the world. Him liking me for me was a main thing that made me fall for him. I had never felt more comfortable and safe in my whole life.
I ended up getting pregnant and since giving birth, I had lost all my pregnancy weight and I think even more weight on top of that. The other day I was looking at my id from 2021 compared to now and there was such a huge difference in my face size. As of now, I’m about 176lbs and 5”6 for context. For BMI I am 1 point in the overweight mark but I see that as just 1 point over average which I know I can easily get down to. We were having a discussion yesterday and I asked him a personal question about our future, he snapped on me but later told me he wants me to lose weight. This came as an absolute shock to me. Not because I know I need to and want to but that this was coming from the same guy who always praised my body and made me feel like I was beautiful no matter what. It crushed me hearing this though I know it was true. What really got me is he said something along the lines of throughout our relationship he would look at me and not like the way I looked but overlook it. That really hurt and made me feel like our whole relationship was a lie. If so, why did he always compliment my body? Why did he try to make me feel so good about myself? Just the night before I was in the bathtub bent over where my stomach probably looked gross and he randomly came in and whistled at me. When I brought this up to him, he said it was because he thought I looked good. Everything he told me just contradicted each other. He would say sometimes he found me attractive the way I was and sometimes he didn’t like it. I was like so what, do you just pick and choose? How am I supposed to know? He claimed he was just as confused. He also said a few other contradictory things about our relationship, complaining we don’t do anything (we have a small child and no one to babysit) and saying I’m boring however every event, trip, outing was sought out and planned by me alone. So again I was very confused. He was really mean about it all but continued to say he loves me, love our time together, never met anyone like me, sees a future with me. How am I supposed to take all that? I’m not at all making excuses for him but he has been very stressed lately in not finding a job and I can see it’s been getting to him the last few days so I’m not sure if this helped in causing him to lash out at me in any way.
With him saying he wants me to lose weight, it was also confusing to hear as I have spent the last year begging him to help me out in regards to our home life. I struggle mentally but still do everything cool, clean, take care of our baby (he does help out) but he leaves me with so much mental load that I have to think for him. He’s has a task list of things to do for the last two years that he still hasn’t done and I have to keep track of that for him as well as his appointments. Anyone who’s had a baby especially a single mother would know how hard it is to do it on your own, I feel like with him I have another child I have to take care of. The responsibilities in our life are definitely not equal. He gets up, makes himself a big breakfast, has the time to work out and do the things he likes but me, I do a full day of work and when our baby goes to sleep I am completely exhausted that I mostly crash out within an hour or 2. He leaves me no time for myself to work out even if I wanted to and along with the mental load I am just exhausted. I also want to add that I have been having some health issues since the new year and I actually made a few changes. I cold turkey stopped drinking soda and changed my eating habits. He said he was proud of me and how quickly I could do that to take care of myself. But now he’s acting like I’ve made no changes at all even though I have lost weight both since I’ve met him and since giving birth. Of course I want to lose weight but now it almost feels wrong to do so. I don’t want to do it just because he said he ants me to. I want to do it at my own pace in my own way because I want to. It’s always been a goal of mine. And now I feel if I do lose weight and he starts complimenting me, it’ll just be wrong because I will always remember that he never liked me for me. I am already feeling extremely uncomfortable around him and wearing more clothes to hide my body. Also everything now feels like it was a lie so I don’t know how to move forward or if I even should.
I am really just so confused and don’t know where to go from here. Is this a reasonable request or should I move on? Opinions? Suggestions?
*** I forgot to add that he tells me he sees old pictures of me and wants me to look like that though those pictures are 10 years old and I’m not that same person anymore. Of course I’ve grown up and don’t always doll myself up to go to clubs and such anymore. Plus I was an unhealthy weight, you could see my bones sticking out. How should I take this?

I really want to give him a book that's subtly a romance because I bet he will love it and I can win an argument! 🤣
He reads loads of fantasy, science fiction, distopian type books. He is reading all the Warhammer stuff, he liked the Witcher and I got him red rising for his birthday and he is loving that series.
So something along those lines with subtle romance if anyone has any suggestions. Or books their boyfriends/partners enjoyed!!
Thanks

Husband of 20 years is probably cheating on me. So here it goes, sll of my dirty secrets.
I, 45f been married to my husband 46, male for over 20 years to a man I met in my early 20’s. We have been very best friends since the day we met but it has been a rocky relationship. I am from an abusive alcoholic family and I was for a time blissfully an alcoholic along with the family. This of coarse was problematic when looking for a date. More than one boyfriend broke up with me because I drank too much, partied too hard and studied too little. Cue in my dream man, he’s responsible, well educated and a heavy drinker. We partied all night and he got up the next day, no matter how hungover and went to work. My mom said that this is normal, it’s how it’s supposed to be. If a man makes it to work everyday then he’s not an alcoholic. By her definition, only a man who misses work can be accused of drinking too much.
I married this replica of my father and for many blissful years we were married and we partied and drank. We’d drink a bottle or two of wine a few nights a week and on weekends we’d stay up all night, often having parties at our home. It was grand fun, until we had kids. All of the sudden I had to handle night feedings and morning diaper changes while tipsy, drunk or hungover. It didn’t take me long to quit, I had already quit for 9 months while pregnant and I had gotten the idea that life is better sober. But my partner didn’t agree. He was drunk most nights while I was pregnant. When I got annoyed and asked him to quit he hid the bottles. I had a second child with him in spite of the drinking (I wanted a matching set), not my best decision but I don’t regret it. When I was at the hospital he looked exhausted so I sent him home to rest. He went home and drank himself into a stupor. My mom had to drive me home from the hospital and when we got home, he was passed out on the living room floor. He slept for another 10 hours like that and he was drunk the entire first week of my daughter’s life. I had to ask my mom to help care for her since I’d had complications with the birth and had over 30 stitches.
His drinking went on for years with me going from kicking him out of the home to drinking with him. Often I would plead with him to quit and he’d refuse. On 4 occasions we separated, each time selling our home and dividing the property. But he’d get sober and he was always very sorry. At this point we had two kids and I needed the help.
Over time things got better and he went years and years without drinking. I had quit altogether after our first child. In fact things go so much better that he asked to start drinking again. He rationalized that he had been sober for 5 years and that he can handle one of two drinks a week. I agreed under the following terms, he can have up to two drinks with dinner once a week. I know this is a terrible decision, I think it’s fair to say that there is a pattern here of gawd awful decisions on my part. This 2 drink agreement lasted a few months but of course two drinks turned into 3, then it turned into a couple nights a week. I saw it was getting out of hand and I banned drinking again.
In the meantime my partner has gotten substantially better looking. It’s through a combination of favourable genetics, some recent work done and some excellent supplements. He aged well going from a 6.5 in his 20’s to a current day 8.5. More than that he’d recently opened a business and it was booming. For the first time in our married life he started to out earn me. For the first 20 years I was the primary wage earner, but now he’s making the more than me (this is temporary as my wage is about to pick up). The woman are noticing him and It’s not lost on me or him. We went to Mexico last year and women were practically following him around and throwing themselves at him. We go out to eat and woman hit on him. They hit on him at the grocery store and they hit on him at work. To his credit he does not respond to this in front of me or the kids. Nor have I ever heard of him hitting on somebody.
I’m a solid 7 - 7.5. I’ve aged okay, I look decent, I’m maybe a little heavier as size 10. But I’m not a hot young thing giggling at him. I am a wife and a mother, so not always sexy, but still quite a lot prettier than average. But realistically on the open market, I’m probably not attracting an 8.5 that earns his kind of money.
About 8 months ago he started coming home from work drunk. He was hiding it but I could smell the booze on his breath. He claimed it was heartburn but I knew better and I ignored it. I just wanted everything to be okay. There was a woman he was working with, he claimed to hate her, she seemed overly interested in him. There were a few incidents, that made me suspicious but he claimed he hated her. He was never home late from work. She moved away and he seemed fine and I was relieved. But a few months after this the drinking started, along with my denial. I guess I kinda figured that who cares if he cheated, she moved away. Now we can get on with our lives.
Recently he’s coming home from work late, but not too late. It’s an hour late here and there. Sometimes he’d claim that he’d have to stay an extra hour. A few times he went completely missing and claimed to have fallen asleep at the office. The problem is that I don’t really know his hours, it’s possible he’s done earlier. For context, he is self employed and rents a space. But other people rent spaces there too,
He’s been coming home drunker and drunker lately while still denying he’s been drinking. I’m ashamed to admit it but I ignored it to the point where I let him drive the kids a few times like that. I was just so far into denial, but I knew somewhere deep down that he was drunk.
He’s normally off work at 5pm and in the car by 5:10pm. But lately he’s not in the car until 5:45pm, ignoring my calls and sometimes coming into the house as late as 6pm. I mean it’s only 45 minutes right? A few times he’d go missing until 7:30 or 8pm and he’d say that he hate a late client appointment and had told me but I forgot. Strangely he’s never hungry when he gets home, in spite of being at work all day. In fact he’s not hungry 2 - 3 times a week. He told me that his stomach is bothering him.
Last night he went missing so I went to his office to look for him. I found him asleep in his office alone with an empty bottle of hard alcohol on his desk. I checked his office drawer and it was full of empty bottles. The office is a disaster, messy and all that. I’m not sure how he sees clients in a room like that and I’m worried that he’s taking appointments drunk. His business is doing really well and building it up was a joint effort. I’m worried that his drinking will destroy everything we built.
I woke him up and he was visibly drunk. He told me that he wants to stay at the office to sleep it off and that no he doesn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t come home. It’s been 6 hours. The thing is, that he hates sleeping in his work clothes and his office is desperately uncomfortable. I just don’t see him staying there overnight alone.
When the drinking flared up 6 months ago, it was just him drinking alone. But when he was sober he was still my best friend. But over time he’s stopped responding when I speak. He tells me that he drinks because he can’t stand to listen to my problems anymore. If I ask him about his day I get a one word answer. More and more he looks at me with contempt while drinking. But even stranger, he wants sex more often, I don’t know why this is. But he’s weird about it and hounding me. He’s going on and on about how to wants to try a sex position we’ve never done, talking about how much he likes it. He’s also looking over my shoulder and checking my phone, which is new. it’s intrusive as I don’t even know his passcode and feel no temptation to check his phone.
He gets paid in cash and has a drawer full of it at the office so I can’t check his cards.
Now I know what you are going to say. He’s definitely cheating, I mean he probably is. But we live in a no fault place so what does it matter if I get proof or not? Also I have two kids to think of and we aren’t in a financial position to leave. I will need time to pay down our joint debt and I need a new job. I’m thinking that the best course of action is to stay silent and improve my situation so that I can support my kids and myself. I think this works for him too as he doesn’t want to get stuck with all sorts of child support or alimony. Giving me time to get back on my feet and improve my financial position works for both of us.
The thing is that if I even bring up getting divorced or separated he says that I am the light of his life. He says that he loves me and that I’m his best friend. He says that he doesn’t want to leave. Then I feel so badly. If I even broach the topic of separating, he’ll shut it down so quickly. He’s overwhelming and persistent and he out talks me. I think there’s no use in talking it out and I don’t see us living together well under some sort of “arrangement”.
Do you have any advice on what to do next? Do you have any idea why he’s acting this way? If he wants to separate why not just do it? Also what’s with the increased sex drive?
One of the oddities is that I’ve been doing really great lately. I’ve lost some weight, my hair is looking good. My business sucks but I’ve been taking on new gigs and retraining. I’m becoming a person that I’m really proud of and every day seems to be getting better. But the better I do, the more contempt he seems to have for me. I can see the bitterness in his drunkenness. And he gets drunks on nights when I have to work and when I have something important going on. He blames the drinking on me. He says that I only talk about myself (maybe I do, I’m trying to improve). He says that I ask too much of him and that I make him contribute to the house too much but I do 100% of the grocery shopping, cooking, lunches, school stuff, homework and kids activities. He comes home and goes straight to bed while complaining that he’s doing too much. Meanwhile I’m breaking myself trying to make the home perfect enough.
Is there any chance that he’s just old and tired and not cheating? I mean he’s only missing for 45 minutes a day? I should mention that he’s stopped answering my calls during the workday and stopped reading my texts.
The weird thing is that I felt relieved to find him surrounded by booze bottles and I’m glad he’s done tonight. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life begging him to be sober. Tonight I could see the contempt in his eyes towards me. I just don’t know that I can move past it. I think I just want to be free from this now.
Do you have any advice? I’ve never been through anything like this and I could use some support and guidance.
I think that taking 4 - 6 months to resolve the situation might be best. This gives me time to find a new job and to pay down some debt and bolster savings.

So my girlfriend has her birthday on 23rd of June and during normal conversations I realized that she wants a “brown eye shadow palette”
After searching it on google, nykaa and random websites I find it extremely difficult to narrow down on one (too much variety in terms of price and brand) as I know nothing about the quality or any other metric that makes y’all buy good make up.
Help me out. My budget is 2-3.5k (not less not more) for the same. She has a fair complexion and loves to apply blush. <<<< just putting this information if in case it helps yall recommending me something.
Also, have been trying to find a women subReddit since so long. Came across twoX and realised they don’t allow men to post there. This is a cue for yall to open an Indian women subReddit which also allows men to post.