Cute birthday ideas

I was in a relationship with my ex bf for 7 months, and I thought everything was going perfect, at the beginning of May we made plans to move in together, his idea, and we were so excited to spend the future together. Anyways a week before my birthday, May 19th, he said he needed time alone and that he didn't want to burden and drag me down. I told him that he wasn't a burden and that I needed him, but he said he couldn't drag me down still. On my birthday he texts me happy birthday, at 12 AM, and I asked if he was ready to see me again and that it wasn't healthy to be ignoring me. He then broke up with me, saying it was not my fault at all, and that he just couldn't be with me but still wanted to be friends. I was too hurt to say anything but thanks for telling me. He then said 30 minutes later he didn't want to talk anymore, and blocked me on Instagram where we normally talk. Two days later I texted him because I needed to know why, and he started blaming me and said I was using him and did some stuff that hasn't sat right with him. I didn't want to argue with him because I didn't get anything from him in the relationship besides what I thought was love and now looking back was just tiny spurts of attention. He's with this other guy now that he always hung out with and I just feel so hurt. Whenever I think about him I feel like my anxiety is stabbing me and I get nauseous, and all I want is him to comfort me. I wish I could've done things differently and I wanna move on but I can't stop thinking about every little interaction we had and what I could've done better

Considering if I may have been dating some kind of narcissist?
Ok so, I’m only just considering the possibility that I was dating some kinda narcissist.
I met a guy from online dating. Exceptionally Handsome photos, very smooth and charming. We met in person and immediately and him got on exceptionally well. He was the most intelligent man I’ve ever met in my life, on dates he wanted to talk at length about intellectual topics.
Despite getting along well, this is where the weird behaviour came in. When parting ways on dates, after the date he was very distant. He would send a long formal message, not check I got home safe.
He never lovebombed. But I’m considering if he is a cerebral narcissist for the following reasons
We went on several further dates. Mainly daytime dates. He would be very affectionate, hold my hand and kiss my forehead. He brought me along to meet his friends. Still amazing conversation. But I always felt like he was the one in control
He was always quite a stern stoic person, very unemotional. He cared a lot about his hair, often showing me pics of himself. Talking about his appearance a lot
If I stayed over, in the mornings I basically felt he was kicking me out, same thing if he stayed at mine he would want to leave early. He’d make me coffee, and his demeanour had completely changed. He would not cuddle me after intimacy. Then after the date, once again taking days to reply and sending formal paragraphs.
After the first time I stayed over, which was a lovely date. He went on holiday for 10 days and didn’t message me. When he came back, he was being extremely cold in messages
The next thing was interesting. He was fired from his job. He told me it was because he told them ‘you don’t know how to run a company.’ this made him quite stressed
But he still continued meeting me. Once again affectionate on dates
On the very last date, he cooked me dinner and we had a nice time. Though when he was cooking the steak, he went on for about 20 mins about the science and molecules involved when cooking a steak. It was cute but a bit much. He always referred to intelligent people as ‘people like us.’ And he always commented on my intelligence as a reason why he likes me. On the morning of the last date, he went on a rant about how he struggles to respect those he works with as he feels they don’t deserve the job. He also told me empathy is something he finds hard to feel
Things changed after this date and he was texting me all the time. Sending cute date ideas. I then asked him if I could see him on my way past for a few hours, he told me he was hungover. And sent a bit of a harsh cold message
2 weeks later, he ended things and said he didn’t feel romantic.
2 months later, he comes back to be friends. Took me to play golf, to a music gig. Was being very nice to me, sending supportive messages when I was at work stressed. Hugging me a lot and telling me how glad he is to see me. Texting me a lot.
Then he disappears again. Ignored my messages. It’s like he only wants to speak or see me on his terms.
So I considered perhaps he is narcissistic minus the love bombing. (I’m too clever to fall for love bombing he could feel)
He claims ‘I’m just like him but he’s more harsh.’

Hi makkale! My female best friend’s birthday this month. She is like my sister from another mother. This is probably her last bachelorette birthday. I want to gift her something really memorable and imperishable. Dress and other mementos lam after a point poidum, i want to gift something very memorable. Pls gimme some ideas nanbargale. I had one in my mind…She hasn’t been on an airplane, would it be nice if i planned on a one day back to back flight to a nearby city. I hope it would remain in her head throughout, and first time experience eh maraka mudiyadha maari iruku!

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I am planning on running a game based off XP to Level 3's fallout RPG system for my birthday and I don't have any ideas on what to do for the game, all the people I'm playing with have played the games or have some knowledge and I want to make it a good game.
If anyone can share some ideas or any help I would appreciate it.

TLDR: Curious about the best gift you have ever received from your adult child. Could be anything!!!
I’m a 29 year old woman who loves giving gifts. Meaningful, useful, funny, hobby, experience, etc. I love it and I’m pretty good at it (not bc I think so, but I’m the designated person that family comes to when they shop for other family members). But… I STRUGGLE with gifts for my dad. Father’s Day, Christmas, birthday, etc. We have a semi-strained relationship, but we’ve both been slowly trying to reconnect.
He’s hard to shop for bc 3 main reasons: - his physical item wishlist items are usually very expensive bc he’s obsessed with home improvement projects (last year we bought him a weather station for $400, which he LOVED but I can’t always spend that much every year)

• any useful gift I feel like is not really appreciated. Ex: I bought him a nice pill organizer a few days ago (just because he has this insane ziplock method with 27 different meds and it’s hard to quickly access when he’s having angina) but he straight up said he didn’t want it and I should keep it for myself. He always acts like I shouldn’t be giving him anything and “save your money”
  
• sentimental gifts are hard bc like I said, it’s a strained relationship, but I would do these more if I felt like he would appreciate it
  

Anyways I can’t keep buying him clothes like usual, it feels superficial and I only do it bc I just can’t think of a good idea.
Please help, I’m trying to show him that I love him as much as I do my mom. ANY type of gift idea is welcome. I’m also just a mushy person and love to hear stories of great gifts they received and what it meant to them.

TLDR: Curious about the best gift you have ever received from your adult child. Could be anything!!!
I’m a 29 year old woman who loves giving gifts. Meaningful, useful, funny, hobby, experience, etc. I love it and I’m pretty good at it (not bc I think so, but I’m the designated person that family comes to when they shop for other family members). But… I STRUGGLE with gifts for my dad. Father’s Day, Christmas, birthday, etc. We have a semi-strained relationship, but we’ve both been slowly trying to reconnect.
He’s hard to shop for bc 3 main reasons: - his physical item wishlist items are usually very expensive bc he’s obsessed with home improvement projects (last year we bought him a weather station for $400, which he LOVED but I can’t always spend that much every year)

• any useful gift I feel like is not really appreciated. Ex: I bought him a nice pill organizer a few days ago (just because he has this insane ziplock method with 27 different meds and it’s hard to quickly access when he’s having angina) but he straight up said he didn’t want it and I should keep it for myself. He always acts like I shouldn’t be giving him anything and “save your money”
  
• sentimental gifts are hard bc like I said, it’s a strained relationship, but I would do these more if I felt like he would appreciate it
  

Anyways I can’t keep buying him clothes like usual, it feels superficial and I only do it bc I just can’t think of a good idea.
Please help, I’m trying to show him that I love him as much as I do my mom. ANY type of gift idea is welcome. I’m also just a mushy person and love to hear stories of great gifts they received and what it meant to them.

I got bored so here’s what think, apologies if I spell anything wrong
Hibiki: doom eternal with caramelldansen, (this was entire reason I made this post just makes so much sense to me)
Tsubasa: she wouldn’t play games often but I could see her playing Ghost of Tsushima
Kanade: Elden Ring and Souls like games and after beating them normally she’d do challenge runs
Miku: Tetris
Chris: I could see her playing call of duty, it makes more sense to me that she’d play animal crossing or just any wholesome game really or Dino Crisis
Maria: she’d probably only play party games like jackbox and Mario party with the other girls
Shirabe: I could see her playing armor core 6 and other mecha games
Kirika: I have no idea I could honestly see her playing anything and have fun
Serena: I could see her playing games like that yarn yoshi game and Animal Crossing but she’d be a Nintendo kid mostly maybe playing a few mobile games from Nintendo but that’s it
Gunjiro: I could see him playing Animal Crossing aswell and probably buying Serena the Animal Crossing switch for her birthday which results in him and Maria meeting at the store as they had the same idea

TLDR: Curious about the best gift you have ever received from your adult child. Could be anything!!!
I’m a 29 year old woman who loves giving gifts. Meaningful, useful, funny, hobby, experience, etc. I love it and I’m pretty good at it (not bc I think so, but I’m the designated person that family comes to when they shop for other family members). But… I STRUGGLE with gifts for my dad. Father’s Day, Christmas, birthday, etc. We have a semi-strained relationship, but we’ve both been slowly trying to reconnect.
He’s hard to shop for bc 3 main reasons: - his physical item wishlist items are usually very expensive bc he’s obsessed with home improvement projects (last year we bought him a weather station for $400, which he LOVED but I can’t always spend that much every year)

• any useful gift I feel like is not really appreciated. Ex: I bought him a nice pill organizer a few days ago (just because he has this insane ziplock method with 27 different meds and it’s hard to quickly access when he’s having angina) but he straight up said he didn’t want it and I should keep it for myself. He always acts like I shouldn’t be giving him anything and “save your money”
  
• sentimental gifts are hard bc like I said, it’s a strained relationship, but I would do these more if I felt like he would appreciate it
  

Anyways I can’t keep buying him clothes like usual, it feels superficial and I only do it bc I just can’t think of a good idea.
Please help, I’m trying to show him that I love him as much as I do my mom. ANY type of gift idea is welcome. I’m also just a mushy person and love to hear stories of great gifts they received and what it meant to them.

Hey everyone,
I 27F have been in a relationship with my boyfriend 27M for 6 months now. While he's really sweet and we have great conversations, I feel like he's not putting in enough effort to make me feel special.
For example, this was our first Valentine's Day together, and it was close to my birthday. I was hoping for at least a simple gesture, like a rose or some chocolate, but he did absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, I knitted a scarf for him and made him a bracelet. I always bring him homemade treats when we meet.
I've told him several times that I feel he's not putting in enough effort, but nothing seems to change. It's not that I expect grand gestures, but a little something to show he cares would mean a lot to me.
It's worth mentioning that he always tries to pay whenever we dine out, even when I offer to split the bill, so it's not about financial trouble either.
I do love him and want to make things work. When I told him that he doesn't do anything to make me feel special, he asked what he could do. I suggested things like making a card, writing a letter, or getting a flower, but he dismissed these ideas as "fictional stuff."
I'm starting to feel frustrated because even my friends treat each other better than he treats me. My friends and I take good care of each other, cook for each other, get souvenirs, and spend quality time together. Maybe my friends have raised my standards, but I don't think I'm asking for too much.
It's worth mentioning that this is his first real relationship. I don't know if I'm overexpecting or if this is just how relationships are supposed to be. Am I missing something here? How do I address this without sounding like I'm nagging? Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks!

The girl i have been dating for 3 weeks asked me that she needs space for now just exactly after 3rd week, we met on instagram, live in the same society but went to college in different cities, she is one year older than me, we instantly clicked, she shared all of her traumas and even very deep and private stuff about her, we have so many Similiarities like literally so much, she always used to say i never thought I’ll get involved with someone younger than me after a week we both mutually admitted we have feelings for each other and are heading towards something serious but she told she is not ready for a relationship because she just went through a breakup just 2-3 days before she started talking to me, when we both arrived our home on the exact same date, so many coincidences, we met for 4 days straight and made out on all 4 of them, went on drives, walks.
Now the next day after the 4th date she said she’s not well and i said you’re leaving town the next day for 4 days so meet me, we went on a small walk i kissed her on her cheeks then after then she sounded low on texts and then next day it was fine but suddenly she said she needs to talk about something, then told me its getting too much for her both emotionally and sexually and she needs some space for now, i agreed to give her space after talking about what’s wrong but she didn’t say anything. Now its been two days i wanna talk to her and clear things out I don’t know what’s wrong. Also on the 4th date she took me with her to return some stuff back to her ex, upon reaching the venue i told her I’ll give u guys privacy you go I’m here outside, she went inside and came back in two minutes with some stuff given by his ex upon too many insisting she then came to me told me he is following her to see who she is with, then we started walking towards the cafe again, i saw his ex, he was smaller in height than me then she said she wants to drink ice tea i said okay lets go I didn’t know she wanted to go to the same cafe where is ex is sitting she then suddenly went inside and i also had to go inside, i saw him sitting now cause he rushed back when he saw us, i told her it was bad idea.
After all this i msged her what wrong did i do anything wrong now she blames me that I didn’t stop when she told me to while we were making h out and she is traumatised ized now and is diagnosed of ptsd, I apologised to her too many times (though i know she’s cooking and blaming me cause it was mutual she says i went too far while doing somethings but at the time of the act she was loving it and when she said stop someone will see us i did stopped) we had cute moments together while shopping and all and she made promises to stay with me forever she said she likes me too much and don’t want to loose me and all of that stuff earlier.
I called her the next day and said I’m not feeling fine, she then said after some time that she has made her decision and doesn’t want to continue anymore, i did apologise again and told her to meet atleast once cause i don’t want us to end on bad terms i atleast want this to end as a good memory, but she said no and that she’s busy. We used to talk whole day long on texts from morning to late night, call all day, videocall all day we at some point were videocalling 10 hours straight.
Now i don’t know what was all of it, was i a rebound or a fling?

The girl i have been dating for 3 weeks asked me that she needs space for now just exactly after 3rd week, we met on instagram, live in the same society but went to college in different cities, she is one year older than me, we instantly clicked, she shared all of her traumas and even very deep and private stuff about her, we have so many Similiarities like literally so much, she always used to say i never thought I’ll get involved with someone younger than me after a week we both mutually admitted we have feelings for each other and are heading towards something serious but she told she is not ready for a relationship because she just went through a breakup just 2-3 days before she started talking to me, when we both arrived our home on the exact same date, so many coincidences, we met for 4 days straight and made out on all 4 of them, went on drives, walks. Now the next day after the 4th date she said she’s not well and i said you’re leaving town the next day for 4 days so meet me, we went on a small walk i kissed her on her cheeks then after then she sounded low on texts and then next day it was fine but suddenly she said she needs to talk about something, then told me its getting too much for her both emotionally and sexually and she needs some space for now, i agreed to give her space after talking about what’s wrong but she didn’t say anything. Now its been two days i wanna talk to her and clear things out I don’t know what’s wrong. Also on the 4th date she took me with her to return some stuff back to her ex, upon reaching the venue i told her I’ll give u guys privacy you go I’m here outside, she went inside and came back in two minutes with some stuff given by his ex upon too many insisting she then came to me told me he is following her to see who she is with, then we started walking towards the cafe again, i saw his ex, he was smaller in height than me then she said she wants to drink ice tea i said okay lets go I didn’t know she wanted to go to the same cafe where is ex is sitting she then suddenly went inside and i also had to go inside, i saw him sitting now cause he rushed back when he saw us, i told her it was bad idea. After all this i msged her what wrong did i do anything wrong now she blames me that I didn’t stop when she told me to while we were making h out and she is traumatised ized now and is diagnosed of ptsd, I apologised to her too many times (though i know she’s cooking and blaming me cause it was mutual she says i went too far while doing somethings but at the time of the act she was loving it and when she said stop someone will see us i did stopped) we had cute moments together while shopping and all and she made promises to stay with me forever she said she likes me too much and don’t want to loose me and all of that stuff earlier. I called her the next day and said I’m not feeling fine, she then said after some time that she has made her decision and doesn’t want to continue anymore, i did apologise again and told her to meet atleast once cause i don’t want us to end on bad terms i atleast want this to end as a good memory, but she said no and that she’s busy. We used to talk whole day long on texts from morning to late night, call all day, videocall all day we at some point were videocalling 10 hours straight. Now i don’t know what was all of it, was i a rebound or a fling?

So I’m (18M) in high school, and just need some basic advice. This is probably the most common and generic problem/question that is seen on this sub, but I find myself really hung up on it recently. As dumb as I feel for asking for asking for advice on reddit, I feel like this might be useful anyways so I’ll give it a go. Basically, I feel somewhat overlooked by people in my class and am wondering about advice for how to date.
I’m a pretty popular guy (yes even though I posted on reddit), and I am very well liked by my classmates. I talk to lots of people and am pretty successful in sports and school. I go to parties and do all that stuff too. However, all my friends date people and I struggle to do that. I’m fairly good looking (according to people I’m better than average which I’ll take as a good thing), maintain good hygiene, all of that stuff. But my friends seem to date people and I don’t. It wouldn’t be that big of an issue, if they didn’t clown me for it. They seem to have no issue finding someone to date or hook up with. I’ve had opportunities to hook up with people, but I’ve never actually done it because it’s just not something I’m into. I’d rather know the person and be in a relationship first. However, because of this I don’t have much experience which I get teased for by my friends.
A couple weekends ago, I hosted a party for my birthday and a girl (18F) who was supposedly into me wanted to get with me. I didn’t know her to well, and despite her friends trying to persuade me, I said no. This was partly because we were both not in our right minds at all if you get what I mean, and I knew that I could make regretful choices that way. Also, I already knew that she was into me and I wasn’t really into her, so I’d feel bad if I was leading her on. Long story short, nothing happened and this week her friend told me that she wasn’t into me anymore because of it.
This same situation happened to me a few months ago when I was hanging out with a girl and we made out at a party. We had already been hanging out for a few weeks prior. She didn’t really seem to want to beforehand, so I didn’t try to. I also was really nervous since I had never done that before and I wasn’t thinking straight. But then she got mad and said that I need to “just make a move”. Well I did and afterwards she called me a bunch of stuff to her friends and said that I was a coward for not just kissing her. A week later she dumped me for an older guy.
Am I doing something wrong here? I get that maybe I should be less hesitant, but I also don’t want to give people the wrong idea. Also, I’m not into all of that hooking up stuff. Lots of my friends, actually almost all girls in this case, brag in front of me about how they got with this dude last week but then this dude yesterday, and it quite honestly disgusts me. I don’t want to end up as that guy, but it seems like that’s what happens to most people. I don’t want to be a one night thing, but it seems like I also can’t be anything more. Any advice?
Edit: so I read this over and I kinda go on a bit of a tangent. This isn’t meant to be a sob sorry at all, I’m just writing down my experiences and asking for advice on how to avoid or do better in these situations. Honestly, any advice would help. Thanks!
TLDR: relationship advice, struggling to figure out what to do.

So I’m (18M) in high school, and just need some basic advice. This is probably the most common and generic problem/question that is seen on this sub, but I find myself really hung up on it recently. As dumb as I feel for asking for asking for advice on reddit, I feel like this might be useful anyways so I’ll give it a go. Basically, I feel somewhat overlooked by people in my class and am wondering about advice for how to date.
I’m a pretty popular guy (yes even though I posted on reddit), and I am very well liked by my classmates. I talk to lots of people and am pretty successful in sports and school. I go to parties and do all that stuff too. However, all my friends date people and I struggle to do that. I’m fairly good looking (according to people I’m better than average which I’ll take as a good thing), maintain good hygiene, all of that stuff. But my friends seem to date people and I don’t. It wouldn’t be that big of an issue, if they didn’t clown me for it. They seem to have no issue finding someone to date or hook up with. I’ve had opportunities to hook up with people, but I’ve never actually done it because it’s just not something I’m into. I’d rather know the person and be in a relationship first. However, because of this I don’t have much experience which I get teased for by my friends.
A couple weekends ago, I hosted a party for my birthday and a girl (18F) who was supposedly into me wanted to get with me. I didn’t know her to well, and despite her friends trying to persuade me, I said no. This was partly because we were both not in our right minds at all if you get what I mean, and I knew that I could make regretful choices that way. Also, I already knew that she was into me and I wasn’t really into her, so I’d feel bad if I was leading her on. Long story short, nothing happened and this week her friend told me that she wasn’t into me anymore because of it.
This same situation happened to me a few months ago when I was hanging out with a girl and we made out at a party. We had already been hanging out for a few weeks prior. She didn’t really seem to want to beforehand, so I didn’t try to. I also was really nervous since I had never done that before and I wasn’t thinking straight. But then she got mad and said that I need to “just make a move”. Well I did and afterwards she called me a bunch of stuff to her friends and said that I was a coward for not just kissing her. A week later she dumped me for an older guy.
Am I doing something wrong here? I get that maybe I should be less hesitant, but I also don’t want to give people the wrong idea. Also, I’m not into all of that hooking up stuff. Lots of my friends, actually almost all girls in this case, brag in front of me about how they got with this dude last week but then this dude yesterday, and it quite honestly disgusts me. I don’t want to end up as that guy, but it seems like that’s what happens to most people. I don’t want to be a one night thing, but it seems like I also can’t be anything more. Any advice?
Edit: so I read this over and I kinda go on a bit of a tangent. This isn’t meant to be a sob sorry at all, I’m just writing down my experiences and asking for advice on how to avoid or do better in these situations. Honestly, any advice would help. Thanks!
TLDR: relationship advice, struggling to figure out what to do.

So I’m (18M) in high school, and just need some basic advice. This is probably the most common and generic problem/question that is seen on this sub, but I find myself really hung up on it recently. As dumb as I feel for asking for asking for advice on reddit, I feel like this might be useful anyways so I’ll give it a go. Basically, I feel somewhat overlooked by people in my class and am wondering about advice for how to date.
I’m a pretty popular guy (yes even though I posted on reddit), and I am very well liked by my classmates. I talk to lots of people and am pretty successful in sports and school. I go to parties and do all that stuff too. However, all my friends date people and I struggle to do that. I’m fairly good looking (according to people I’m better than average which I’ll take as a good thing), maintain good hygiene, all of that stuff. But my friends seem to date people and I don’t. It wouldn’t be that big of an issue, if they didn’t clown me for it. They seem to have no issue finding someone to date or hook up with. I’ve had opportunities to hook up with people, but I’ve never actually done it because it’s just not something I’m into. I’d rather know the person and be in a relationship first. However, because of this I don’t have much experience which I get teased for by my friends.
A couple weekends ago, I hosted a party for my birthday and a girl (18F) who was supposedly into me wanted to get with me. I didn’t know her to well, and despite her friends trying to persuade me, I said no. This was partly because we were both not in our right minds at all if you get what I mean, and I knew that I could make regretful choices that way. Also, I already knew that she was into me and I wasn’t really into her, so I’d feel bad if I was leading her on. Long story short, nothing happened and this week her friend told me that she wasn’t into me anymore because of it.
This same situation happened to me a few months ago when I was hanging out with a girl and we made out at a party. We had already been hanging out for a few weeks prior. She didn’t really seem to want to beforehand, so I didn’t try to. I also was really nervous since I had never done that before and I wasn’t thinking straight. But then she got mad and said that I need to “just make a move”. Well I did and afterwards she called me a bunch of stuff to her friends and said that I was a coward for not just kissing her. A week later she dumped me for an older guy.
Am I doing something wrong here? I get that maybe I should be less hesitant, but I also don’t want to give people the wrong idea. Also, I’m not into all of that hooking up stuff. Lots of my friends, actually almost all girls in this case, brag in front of me about how they got with this dude last week but then this dude yesterday, and it quite honestly disgusts me. I don’t want to end up as that guy, but it seems like that’s what happens to most people. I don’t want to be a one night thing, but it seems like I also can’t be anything more. Any advice?
Edit: so I read this over and I kinda go on a bit of a tangent. This isn’t meant to be a sob sorry at all, I’m just writing down my experiences and asking for advice on how to avoid or do better in these situations. Honestly, any advice would help. Thanks!
TLDR: relationship advice, struggling to figure out what to do.

I’m looking for a family-friendly venue for my toddler’s birthday party, where attendees will primarily be adults. Ideally, dinner and entertainment!
Any ideas, besides Organ Stop Pizza and Singing Pandas?

So I’m (18M) in high school, and just need some basic advice. This is probably the most common and generic problem/question that is seen on this sub, but I find myself really hung up on it recently. As dumb as I feel for asking for asking for advice on reddit, I feel like this might be useful anyways so I’ll give it a go. Basically, I feel somewhat overlooked by people in my class and am wondering about advice for how to date.
I’m a pretty popular guy (yes even though I posted on reddit), and I am very well liked by my classmates. I talk to lots of people and am pretty successful in sports and school. I go to parties and do all that stuff too. However, all my friends date people and I struggle to do that. I’m fairly good looking (according to people I’m better than average which I’ll take as a good thing), maintain good hygiene, all of that stuff. But my friends seem to date people and I don’t. It wouldn’t be that big of an issue, if they didn’t clown me for it. They seem to have no issue finding someone to date or hook up with. I’ve had opportunities to hook up with people, but I’ve never actually done it because it’s just not something I’m into. I’d rather know the person and be in a relationship first. However, because of this I don’t have much experience which I get teased for by my friends.
A couple weekends ago, I hosted a party for my birthday and a girl (18F) who was supposedly into me wanted to get with me. I didn’t know her to well, and despite her friends trying to persuade me, I said no. This was partly because we were both not in our right minds at all if you get what I mean, and I knew that I could make regretful choices that way. Also, I already knew that she was into me and I wasn’t really into her, so I’d feel bad if I was leading her on. Long story short, nothing happened and this week her friend told me that she wasn’t into me anymore because of it.
This same situation happened to me a few months ago when I was hanging out with a girl and we made out at a party. We had already been hanging out for a few weeks prior. She didn’t really seem to want to beforehand, so I didn’t try to. I also was really nervous since I had never done that before and I wasn’t thinking straight. But then she got mad and said that I need to “just make a move”. Well I did and afterwards she called me a bunch of stuff to her friends and said that I was a coward for not just kissing her. A week later she dumped me for an older guy.
Am I doing something wrong here? I get that maybe I should be less hesitant, but I also don’t want to give people the wrong idea. Also, I’m not into all of that hooking up stuff. Lots of my friends, actually almost all girls in this case, brag in front of me about how they got with this dude last week but then this dude yesterday, and it quite honestly disgusts me. I don’t want to end up as that guy, but it seems like that’s what happens to most people. I don’t want to be a one night thing, but it seems like I also can’t be anything more. Any advice?
Edit: so I read this over and I kinda go on a bit of a tangent. This isn’t meant to be a sob sorry at all, I’m just writing down my experiences and asking for advice on how to avoid or do better in these situations. Honestly, any advice would help. Thanks!
TLDR: relationship advice, struggling to figure out what to do.

Hey guys! I would like to share my story with you. Nobody knows I'm a narcisse, only my brother pointed out to some of the traits. Even he doesn't know my deep dark thoughts and doesn't have a clue I'm entitled as hell etc. But deep down, well, meet the dark queen of the nether vortex.
My N story began in my childhood. My mother has most probably BPD and back then I was having just a little bit of asperger traits - I had my rituals, was conservative in food and clothing and was just different. She was furious that I wasn't doing what she commanded me to, so it ended up with a lot of abuse, physical and emotional. From her, I've never heard any kind words like "you're great, I love you". My brother, as a younger kid, wasn't that exposed, he's just avoidand, I guess.
My dad and his family, on the other hand, were different. For them I was prepared to make miracles. They enjoyed every achievement with me. I would not say it was a toxic praise, but my mother's attitude was sooooo different, that it made a huge contrast and that's the point where my obsession with perfection began. I was the best. Everytime. In everything.
This is probably what made me a narcisse. Although, the alternative - living solely in my mother's hell - would be much worse. Thanks to this I have a great life. I have the best education I could get in my country, I speak several languages and I was able to buy a house in my 20ish. The alternative would be some whiney bordeline loser like her.
But then I had a relationship with another narcissist. Grandiose, manipulaltive, abusive. He used my perfection and fear of abandonment against me - I had to be perfect, otherwise he would leave me. I fulfilled his every desire, eventhough I didn't want to. He once said he's only with me because I'm beautiful and intelligent. He used it against me, the thing that I was the most proud of. It was several years. I was still a kid, basically.
And then, broken as hell, I had the greatest luck. I started dating a cute nerd, younger than me, but very intelligent and insightful. It didn't work out, I had no clue how to make a normal relationship work, but when we broke up, he sent me the most beatiful letter I've ever received.
Among other great things, it sais: "And slowly, I started to see the other you. Not the perfect girl you showed to the world, but your real, sensitive, beautiful soul, and I love you for that deeply."
So someone could love me for me and not for the show!
Then, I started to work on myself with my shaman (who knows, knows). Alas, I met another guy who fell in love with the show and I spent years with him. It didn't work out, because he wasn't able to accept that I am not perfect and don't wanna be perfect (among other things people can use this to manipulate you).
Slowly, with my shaman, I succeeded in analyzing my soul and my true self. I didn't gave up on my grandiosity, I still have it. I just... connected the elements of my grandiosity with respective parts of my soul. So it's not a charade, it's not a show. I use my grandiose performances to communicate with the world. I try to be honest in a way that people would know who I am.
Like, I still feel I am more important than other people and I should be treated better and I hate the rules, but those are things I am ok with. I am focusing on my close relationships, I want them to be true, authentic and real. I really don't want to fall into the "I love your mask" trap again. And I am still working on my insecurity and abandonment issues, but I will manage, because I am the best.
I guess you guys get it, but who else could be great at therapies than us? :D Some borderline crybabies?
Plus, I found out that the idea I will meet someone great once helps me. Having this idea of my future husband on my mind helped me with my drinking problem - I take it as something I have to do for both of us. I wanna be ready. And I still hope there is a soul out there, who will understand me and we will have this beautiful meaningful relationship in which we can share time, laughter, thoughts, travels and silence. I really do.
It's long. Sorry, not sorry. I like to listen to myself. :D

Hi everyone! 21F here, here’s a little background to explain how I became a shopping addict lol, I struggle with severe ADHD, anxiety/depresion, I’m also disabled and unable to work/drive bc of it, I don’t have any kind of social life whatsoever, no friends and hardly ever get out of the house (not by choice) but I live with family who also has health issues so my opportunity to get out is limited. I also lost my grandpa recently, who was my entire world and he really helped me with my mental health. I’ve been in a deep depression ever since. Everyday is a struggle to get out of bed, everything feels like a chore and I can barely take care of myself. I’m im therapy, but talking to someone for an hour once a week just isn’t enough anymore, I’m currently in the process of seeking further help with a psychiatrist/a day program for mental health.
I’ve had an impulse buying problem for years. When I had friends, I didn’t have a spending problem at all. I couldn’t even give people any gift ideas for Christmas or my birthdays bc it’s like the human connection cured me of any kind of materialistic addiction. But, when my “friends” stopped talking to me, I relapsed if you will.
It isn’t that I am seeking fulfillment or trying to fill voids, it’s more so a control thing. I have so much rage inside of me about my situation and how no matter what I do things don’t seem to get better, so it’s like when I buy something, for once I feel a sense of control, and it gives me this false sense of independence, since I don’t have much of it.
What doesn’t help is that I have a very oddly specific personal style, so my mind can easily justify buying things bc 99% of the time it’s a rare vintage item that I will never see again if I don’t.
I can easily go into a store and not buy anything, but when it comes to online shopping it’s a different story. I’m always in my head, and the isolation makes it so hard to avoid impulse buying. Between the grief and not having anything to do to keep my mind off of it, I’m constantly in a state of extreme agitation and anxiety, and it’s almost like shopping has become a self soothing mechanism, bc it calms me down in the moment and in some stupid way, it gives me something to look forward to.
The thing is, any positive feelings I get from impulse buying is nothing compared to the disgust I feel afterwards and I feel like it actually makes my mental health worse in the long run. Bc then all of the items I buy, I just end up associating with my depression and then I never want to look at that top or whatever I bought, again.
What have you done that helped you impulse buy less? I know cutting cold Turkey isn’t realistic but any strategy I try seems to fail, my self control is at an all time low right now too so I’m scared I won’t be able to escape this addiction.