My bf likes to be alone a lot
/r/Battlefield - Your Battlefield source on Reddit
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2014.03.11 19:51 Aitho This is my life now
This is a subreddit with gifs or pics of people and animals accepting their uncommon situations.
2016.12.01 06:52 Admiral_Cloudberg Stories by /u/Admiral_Cloudberg
In-depth analyses of air accidents by Admiral_Cloudberg.
2024.06.01 13:10 Independent_Two_8610 Employer lied to me about having sick pay
Hi, I’m located in Chicago, IL and am an admin assistant employed through a staffing agency. 25 y/o if that matters. I was hired on a temp to hire basis with the client stating they wanted to permanently fill the role after my three month contract. As is typical for these roles, they just keep extending the contract monthly, heavily implying that a permanent position will be offered soon but i’m on month seven now and i’m being given the run around.
Upon beginning this position I inquired with my recruiter at the staffing agency whether I have sick pay and he said no. Two months ago I started having some health issues that made it really hard to come to work. I’ve been pushing myself extremely hard to show up and work on days when i’ve been in a lot of pain because I can’t afford a shortened check. A big part of my job is stocking so I have to lift and move a lot of boxes each week, and I have to do it all myself.
I had been calling my recruiter multiple times over the past weeks to see what the status of my contract being switched to a permanent role is because it was getting increasingly hard to not have sick time off. I made him fully aware of my condition and struggles at work related to it, and he told me twice over the phone that I do not have sick pay but he empathizes with my situation and will look into my contract conversation but he would never get back.
I usually fill out my timecard on my laptop, but i did it on my phone last week and i noticed there was a section that said “sick” with a number of hours next to him. I emailed my recruiter a screenshot of it asking what it meant since I don’t have sick time? And also called him out for never replying to my inquiries. He replied and said that I do in fact have sick time and he apologizes for the misinformation.
My question is whether this was a violation of my workplace rights because I was lied to about the benefits I have. I was told that I don’t have sick pay over the phone so there is no proof of that, but in the email he apologized for the misinformation. If I tactfully respond to the email to get him to admit that he explicitly told me I don’t have those benefit multiple times is there any legal action I can take? Even without that, is there anything I can pursue with his existing apology?
I’m going to try and pursue back pay for my accrued hours as i’ve had to take days off for being sick which were unpaid. If they deny me this, is that another thing that I could potentially take action against? I want to get paid out for the accrued hours now because they could end my contract at any second and then I wouldn’t be able to retrieve those funds.
I know emotions don’t play a factor here, but I have called my recruiter sobbing over the last weeks to tell him at the end of my rope because I am in so much pain and i need sick pay and each time he said he would look into my contract but he didn’t. One email was all it would’ve taken for him to inquire about my sick pay and it would’ve made things so much easier for me. I know employees don’t matter anywhere, especially low level office bitches like me, but i’m disheartened because I genuinely have been killing myself at this job. Staying late and working through lunches because after my manager quit they just gave all her work to me. It’s only me and another assistant on site and everyone I report to is out of state. It’s just been so hard and I don’t want to just lie down and take this if there’s anything I can do. Thanks in advance.
submitted by Independent_Two_8610 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
Upon beginning this position I inquired with my recruiter at the staffing agency whether I have sick pay and he said no. Two months ago I started having some health issues that made it really hard to come to work. I’ve been pushing myself extremely hard to show up and work on days when i’ve been in a lot of pain because I can’t afford a shortened check. A big part of my job is stocking so I have to lift and move a lot of boxes each week, and I have to do it all myself.
I had been calling my recruiter multiple times over the past weeks to see what the status of my contract being switched to a permanent role is because it was getting increasingly hard to not have sick time off. I made him fully aware of my condition and struggles at work related to it, and he told me twice over the phone that I do not have sick pay but he empathizes with my situation and will look into my contract conversation but he would never get back.
I usually fill out my timecard on my laptop, but i did it on my phone last week and i noticed there was a section that said “sick” with a number of hours next to him. I emailed my recruiter a screenshot of it asking what it meant since I don’t have sick time? And also called him out for never replying to my inquiries. He replied and said that I do in fact have sick time and he apologizes for the misinformation.
My question is whether this was a violation of my workplace rights because I was lied to about the benefits I have. I was told that I don’t have sick pay over the phone so there is no proof of that, but in the email he apologized for the misinformation. If I tactfully respond to the email to get him to admit that he explicitly told me I don’t have those benefit multiple times is there any legal action I can take? Even without that, is there anything I can pursue with his existing apology?
I’m going to try and pursue back pay for my accrued hours as i’ve had to take days off for being sick which were unpaid. If they deny me this, is that another thing that I could potentially take action against? I want to get paid out for the accrued hours now because they could end my contract at any second and then I wouldn’t be able to retrieve those funds.
I know emotions don’t play a factor here, but I have called my recruiter sobbing over the last weeks to tell him at the end of my rope because I am in so much pain and i need sick pay and each time he said he would look into my contract but he didn’t. One email was all it would’ve taken for him to inquire about my sick pay and it would’ve made things so much easier for me. I know employees don’t matter anywhere, especially low level office bitches like me, but i’m disheartened because I genuinely have been killing myself at this job. Staying late and working through lunches because after my manager quit they just gave all her work to me. It’s only me and another assistant on site and everyone I report to is out of state. It’s just been so hard and I don’t want to just lie down and take this if there’s anything I can do. Thanks in advance.
2024.06.01 13:10 ElegantAcid My sister's boyfriend.
My sister 22f has been with this guy 28m for almost 3 years. He actually was a friend of mine, a good one also. Me, my mum and my girlfriend have starting to notice red flags in him since their 2nd year together. He normally doesn't take no for an answer, and will manipulate, insist a lot or throwing a tantrum until he gets it his way either way. So few weeks ago me, my girlfriend, my sister and her boyfriend took a trip together, where he would stay only 2 days, returning alone. The four of us go out clubbing and after I would drive for 1 hour. I get my sister to ride shotgun and my girlfriend is in the backseats with him.
When we arrive my girlfriend told me he has touched her inappropriately, tried to kiss her and bring her hand towards his crotch.
Keep in mind that my sister and my girlfriend are close friends. We thought that obviously my sister would leave him on the spot, but after returning home says she will stay with him regardless. I told her that there will never be any holiday or time spent together since me and also my girlfriend will never want to interact with him again. There's actually no scenario possible in witch I would want to ever see his face again.
Turns out she's pregnant, and also they kinda already knew when he did what he did. If she wants to keep the child, sooner or later they will surely break up, and I am afraid that my sister will endure all his abusive behaviors more and more for the sake of the child. My sister still needs to finish school, she had taken a break and worked in the meantime for a little salary. He recently lost another job which was a 5 minutes walk from his home due to him being irresponsible, showing up late or not showing up at all and being generally someone who doesn't keep their word, and also lies pretty easily. They are living at his parents home all this time.
Then there's the thing that if she keeps the baby every interaction between my family and my sister and the baby will be pretty unpleasant since no one is going to pretend they like him.
We are all pretty shocked right now, me my mother and my girlfriend, since we think that my sister needs to get away from him asap, and a baby would keep her close to him, which is not a healthy relationship at all.
Obviously we can't impose anything over the choice my sister makes, but we're worried a lot because we want her out of this toxic relationship, for her own good. I think she is not able to think clearly right now, but it is for her own good to get out of this relationship before it's too late.
Never imagined being in a situation like this, there actually was zero possibility in our mind for him to do something like this.
I just want your opinion on the situation, I think probably either way we won't have any impact on my sister's decision.
submitted by ElegantAcid to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
When we arrive my girlfriend told me he has touched her inappropriately, tried to kiss her and bring her hand towards his crotch.
Keep in mind that my sister and my girlfriend are close friends. We thought that obviously my sister would leave him on the spot, but after returning home says she will stay with him regardless. I told her that there will never be any holiday or time spent together since me and also my girlfriend will never want to interact with him again. There's actually no scenario possible in witch I would want to ever see his face again.
Turns out she's pregnant, and also they kinda already knew when he did what he did. If she wants to keep the child, sooner or later they will surely break up, and I am afraid that my sister will endure all his abusive behaviors more and more for the sake of the child. My sister still needs to finish school, she had taken a break and worked in the meantime for a little salary. He recently lost another job which was a 5 minutes walk from his home due to him being irresponsible, showing up late or not showing up at all and being generally someone who doesn't keep their word, and also lies pretty easily. They are living at his parents home all this time.
Then there's the thing that if she keeps the baby every interaction between my family and my sister and the baby will be pretty unpleasant since no one is going to pretend they like him.
We are all pretty shocked right now, me my mother and my girlfriend, since we think that my sister needs to get away from him asap, and a baby would keep her close to him, which is not a healthy relationship at all.
Obviously we can't impose anything over the choice my sister makes, but we're worried a lot because we want her out of this toxic relationship, for her own good. I think she is not able to think clearly right now, but it is for her own good to get out of this relationship before it's too late.
Never imagined being in a situation like this, there actually was zero possibility in our mind for him to do something like this.
I just want your opinion on the situation, I think probably either way we won't have any impact on my sister's decision.
2024.06.01 13:09 lenahaus what toxins does too us and what has helped me
If you have tried candida-diet or parasit diet and your bb is gone.Have you noticed that there is always a lot of discussion on the role of detoxification. Detox this and detox that. But they dont really go in depth or explain the defintion of the word detox. You’ll see extreme ideas and very restricted programs for detox including the “master cleanse” but as soon as you off the diet bb returns or it only last awhile.
More than 6 months ago I found black mold in the house that produces mycotoxins and you breath this in. This the answer and cause too my other sickness and symtoms. This is the only group ToxicMoldExposure and community that I know that goes into DEPTH what detox really is and how too eliminate toxins but they talk about mycotoxins but this relates too most other toxins. They talk about glutathione, phophatidyl coline, supplements like garlic, milk thistl, oregano,infrared sauna and binders: like okra,beets, cholestyramine, activated charcoal and betonite clay and supporting liver and bile production.
I also asked in another account if anyone have bb and someone did answer that she and her husband got bb from living in a house with mold(she is cured now). I searched also and found very few that also have bb as a symtoms. My theori is that when you have alot of toxins (doesnt need too be mycotoxins) you can develop bb. Especially if strict diet is the only thing that can get rid of the bb.
But one of the best thing that happenden there is when somone mentioned about sauna The niacin sauna detox protocol, also known as the Hubbard Detox Program, was pioneered by L. Ron Hubbard and later adapted for the 9/11 responders. This regimen aims to eliminate toxins stored in the body's fat tissues, where many of these harmful substances tend to accumulate. it was used too cure US veterans of the 1990–1991 Persian Gulf War including pesticides and chemical warfare https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6862571/
The liver(among other organs). is the one that detoxifices and you should focus wholly on. iver detoxification happens in two phases, known as Phase 1 and Phase 2. ne way to support the liver is with glutathione. Glutathione is known as the body’s master antioxidant . Toxins can actually decrease the production of glutathion. Glutathion pulls the toxins out of blood so we need it becuase it alomost cleans the blood. here is a study that mentions the link between toxins and glutathion: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3942754/
Toxins are stored in the blood and fat cells, so the liver pulls it from the blood and if you can get rid of that than more toxins are pulled from fat cells than these toxins also get concentrated in you bile so you take binders so you can poop thems outl.Alsosome ppl with mold toxity have found relief using ths nicacin and saund proocol. you should visit dan roots facebook groupe he goes into detail how nicacin pulls the toxins out from the body https://www.facebook.com/groups/Detox.iNation/about/? locale=lt_LT&paipv=0&eav=AfYsZu4I95JoddTvHDCKl8qQH0JKy5XRdlwxnp4K0sbXqu7hanoG0DVWnPy6h8gmNW8&_rdr . But when I did this program I had too take a break becaus I did it wrong. Bu be aware that your bb might get worse in this program until it gets cured, Because your dumping ALL the toxins stored in the fat cells/tissue into the blood stream than you sweat it out using infrared saunas. He also mentions binder and oils too repleace the fat . He goes into DETAIL.
the other thing is that I saw someone mention that castor oil pack . Castor oil packing means soaking a fabric (I use queen thrones) with organis castor oil and placing it on the liver area and you sleep with it . It helps with detox and I did not believe it at first but I have detox symtoms like flu like symtoms and slight fever at night. It is so effecient and it did suprise me at first . pls reaserc this.
I really recommend you guys too try glutathion and binders. If you ask me wich is more important than I do not know. So many people have mentioned that okra has helped them alot.And it is cheap binder. You need too bind the toxins so you can eliminate it thru bowel movement. Remeber that elimation pathways are thru : sweat,urinating and bowel movements.
here is a guy cured using glutathion but I think most of us have too do more: https://www.reddit.com/badbreath/comments/104i563/success_finally_found_a_bad_breath_cure_fix/
what methods other that candida diet wich is not a cure do you think eliminates toxins that causes bb do you do ?
submitted by lenahaus to badbreath [link] [comments]
More than 6 months ago I found black mold in the house that produces mycotoxins and you breath this in. This the answer and cause too my other sickness and symtoms. This is the only group ToxicMoldExposure and community that I know that goes into DEPTH what detox really is and how too eliminate toxins but they talk about mycotoxins but this relates too most other toxins. They talk about glutathione, phophatidyl coline, supplements like garlic, milk thistl, oregano,infrared sauna and binders: like okra,beets, cholestyramine, activated charcoal and betonite clay and supporting liver and bile production.
I also asked in another account if anyone have bb and someone did answer that she and her husband got bb from living in a house with mold(she is cured now). I searched also and found very few that also have bb as a symtoms. My theori is that when you have alot of toxins (doesnt need too be mycotoxins) you can develop bb. Especially if strict diet is the only thing that can get rid of the bb.
But one of the best thing that happenden there is when somone mentioned about sauna The niacin sauna detox protocol, also known as the Hubbard Detox Program, was pioneered by L. Ron Hubbard and later adapted for the 9/11 responders. This regimen aims to eliminate toxins stored in the body's fat tissues, where many of these harmful substances tend to accumulate. it was used too cure US veterans of the 1990–1991 Persian Gulf War including pesticides and chemical warfare https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6862571/
The liver(among other organs). is the one that detoxifices and you should focus wholly on. iver detoxification happens in two phases, known as Phase 1 and Phase 2. ne way to support the liver is with glutathione. Glutathione is known as the body’s master antioxidant . Toxins can actually decrease the production of glutathion. Glutathion pulls the toxins out of blood so we need it becuase it alomost cleans the blood. here is a study that mentions the link between toxins and glutathion: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3942754/
Toxins are stored in the blood and fat cells, so the liver pulls it from the blood and if you can get rid of that than more toxins are pulled from fat cells than these toxins also get concentrated in you bile so you take binders so you can poop thems outl.Alsosome ppl with mold toxity have found relief using ths nicacin and saund proocol. you should visit dan roots facebook groupe he goes into detail how nicacin pulls the toxins out from the body https://www.facebook.com/groups/Detox.iNation/about/? locale=lt_LT&paipv=0&eav=AfYsZu4I95JoddTvHDCKl8qQH0JKy5XRdlwxnp4K0sbXqu7hanoG0DVWnPy6h8gmNW8&_rdr . But when I did this program I had too take a break becaus I did it wrong. Bu be aware that your bb might get worse in this program until it gets cured, Because your dumping ALL the toxins stored in the fat cells/tissue into the blood stream than you sweat it out using infrared saunas. He also mentions binder and oils too repleace the fat . He goes into DETAIL.
the other thing is that I saw someone mention that castor oil pack . Castor oil packing means soaking a fabric (I use queen thrones) with organis castor oil and placing it on the liver area and you sleep with it . It helps with detox and I did not believe it at first but I have detox symtoms like flu like symtoms and slight fever at night. It is so effecient and it did suprise me at first . pls reaserc this.
I really recommend you guys too try glutathion and binders. If you ask me wich is more important than I do not know. So many people have mentioned that okra has helped them alot.And it is cheap binder. You need too bind the toxins so you can eliminate it thru bowel movement. Remeber that elimation pathways are thru : sweat,urinating and bowel movements.
here is a guy cured using glutathion but I think most of us have too do more: https://www.reddit.com/badbreath/comments/104i563/success_finally_found_a_bad_breath_cure_fix/
what methods other that candida diet wich is not a cure do you think eliminates toxins that causes bb do you do ?
2024.06.01 13:09 Direct-Caterpillar77 I'm[f36] getting really lonely, but hubby[m34] doesn't want to change our open relationship rules.
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA74fttf5
I'm[f36] getting really lonely, but hubby[m34] doesn't want to change our open relationship rules.
Originally posted to sex
Original Post Dec 30, 2022
Originally opening up our marriage was my idea. When presented with the idea hubby was strongly against it, however after just one night of thinking about it he changed his mind and was enthusiastic about it.
I have set up rules and borders. To keep everything private, family and friends are off the table, use protection... Hubby was OK with those. The only rule that he added is that we do not have to fulfil each other sexual/romantic/emotional needs anymore. I was OK with that.
I took a very "classic" approach to an open marriage and just started going out with other men.
Hubby took a very alternative approach.
He had built a huge man cave in the basement and practically moved into it. It's his room now, he sleeps there too. Doesn't want to watch movies with me, cuddle or anything. Also he started going to the gym with his coworker, they go out together, spend a lot of time in his mancave, she even sleeps over sometimes. However hubby insists that they are just friends and he is not bringing his lover to our house and I believe him, she seems gay.
Our daughter spends a lot of her time with them. They play videogames, billiard, music. Sometimes they order takeaway food and eat down there. She doesn't spend a lot of time with me. The rest of the house seems deserted.
I broke one rule and have asked my husband about his sex life. He says that sometimes he hires an "escort girl", and that experience can last him for a month or two. I wanted to share but he didn't want to know anything about my sex life.
So all in all he has managed to set up his life just fine within the borders and rules we had set up. He had "compartmentalised" every need in his life. He gets sex from sex workers, they do not complain, company and emotional support from his friend, which doesn't complain, I guess we are partners in finances and parents of our child.
They made a plan to make a huge tour of Europe together, hubby asked me is it OK to take our daughter this summer to tag along with them.
I wanted to tag along. He declined :/
I asked my daughter does she want to travel with me this summer, she said that I am boring and want's to go with her dad. :/
I'm starting to feel really lonely. Hubby is not interested in deeper conversations, touches, cuddles, even sex initiations. He is only interested in doing "fun" stuff.
I talked with my hubby about changing the rules of our relationship, so that we can get atleast one day per week of us time. He said that he is OK about changing a rule about being emotional with our partners. So I can find a lover which is emotionally supportive and wants to spend time and travel with me.
I tried doing that, but it turned into a proper shitshow. I made plans to spend this Xmas with my lover, and ended up spending it alone.
So I resorted to using an ultimatum. I placed divorce on the table. Hubby said that we are financially much better off together, but if I want one he is not going to make it hard for me.
Now what?
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP. DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP OR COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL POST
submitted by Direct-Caterpillar77 to BestofNoUpdates [link] [comments]
I'm[f36] getting really lonely, but hubby[m34] doesn't want to change our open relationship rules.
Originally posted to sex
Original Post Dec 30, 2022
Originally opening up our marriage was my idea. When presented with the idea hubby was strongly against it, however after just one night of thinking about it he changed his mind and was enthusiastic about it.
I have set up rules and borders. To keep everything private, family and friends are off the table, use protection... Hubby was OK with those. The only rule that he added is that we do not have to fulfil each other sexual/romantic/emotional needs anymore. I was OK with that.
I took a very "classic" approach to an open marriage and just started going out with other men.
Hubby took a very alternative approach.
He had built a huge man cave in the basement and practically moved into it. It's his room now, he sleeps there too. Doesn't want to watch movies with me, cuddle or anything. Also he started going to the gym with his coworker, they go out together, spend a lot of time in his mancave, she even sleeps over sometimes. However hubby insists that they are just friends and he is not bringing his lover to our house and I believe him, she seems gay.
Our daughter spends a lot of her time with them. They play videogames, billiard, music. Sometimes they order takeaway food and eat down there. She doesn't spend a lot of time with me. The rest of the house seems deserted.
I broke one rule and have asked my husband about his sex life. He says that sometimes he hires an "escort girl", and that experience can last him for a month or two. I wanted to share but he didn't want to know anything about my sex life.
So all in all he has managed to set up his life just fine within the borders and rules we had set up. He had "compartmentalised" every need in his life. He gets sex from sex workers, they do not complain, company and emotional support from his friend, which doesn't complain, I guess we are partners in finances and parents of our child.
They made a plan to make a huge tour of Europe together, hubby asked me is it OK to take our daughter this summer to tag along with them.
I wanted to tag along. He declined :/
I asked my daughter does she want to travel with me this summer, she said that I am boring and want's to go with her dad. :/
I'm starting to feel really lonely. Hubby is not interested in deeper conversations, touches, cuddles, even sex initiations. He is only interested in doing "fun" stuff.
I talked with my hubby about changing the rules of our relationship, so that we can get atleast one day per week of us time. He said that he is OK about changing a rule about being emotional with our partners. So I can find a lover which is emotionally supportive and wants to spend time and travel with me.
I tried doing that, but it turned into a proper shitshow. I made plans to spend this Xmas with my lover, and ended up spending it alone.
So I resorted to using an ultimatum. I placed divorce on the table. Hubby said that we are financially much better off together, but if I want one he is not going to make it hard for me.
Now what?
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP. DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP OR COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL POST
2024.06.01 13:09 Swimming-Cricket-297 8 weeks
It’s been 8 weeks since I was left by him for the 2nd time. Blindsided, totally out of the blue both times. No arguments, no struggles in the relationship, no signs. Nothing- as far as I was aware we were completely and blissfully in love and happy together.
He left me with the same bullshit surface level excuses as he did the first time. We have been together for years.
“I need to be alone” “You deserve better” “I can’t give you what you deserve” “I need to heal”
Blablablablabla, the list goes on. The first time he came back (a year and a week later) once I had started to move on - he promised he was ready, he was choosing me, choosing us, every day. He contacted each of my family members to apologise for his actions, to apologise for the pain he caused me and all of us. That he would communicate with me.
Though this 2nd break up isn’t as hard as the first in some ways. As the first time I lost my home (because we lived together), I lost my car (because going to live alone I couldn’t keep a big fancy car) I still feel a whole massive fucking amount of pain. Unfortunately, we had to have a termination of a pregnancy at the start of the year, due to some medication that he is currently taking that causes birth defects and we chose not to take that risk on the baby or on me. He left only a few weeks after I had stopped bleeding. Baring in mind, the whole time I was going through this and obviously was emotional he was telling me that WE will have our chance again, WE now know WE work, it will be in OUR future just this wasn’t the time for US.
Looking back, he was clearly triggered, it scared him. He ran. The fear of growing up, having a little life to look after.
I am 30 next month. This is far from what I would expect my life to be like. I have a good job, a beautiful home, a car, the full works- but this second break up with someone I love completely with every part of myself and the termination has completely knocked the wind out of me this year.
When we got back together, it was incredible. We were better versions of us, which shocked me because we were amazing the first time. It was wonderful. He was (and despite this) still is an amazing man. He unfortunately suffers from childhood trauma like myself- but when he gets triggered he runs, legs it, drops me and literally detaches himself from me to prevent him from looking inside and seeing what the root cause is. I know exactly what it is, he has told me numerous times that it scares the shit out of him how much I know him and sometimes I know him better than himself.
The whole year (and a week) we were split up the first time I had this deep deep knowing he was coming back. And he did, despite everyone around me basically calling me mad because I was so sure of it. This time, I feel exactly the same. I know he is coming back. When, I don’t know. But he will.
Whether or not you believe in attachment theory or not, I know he is an avoidant. DA to be exact. I won’t go in to every single thing to why and his actions, but he is. I am in therapy, and I spoke to my therapist about it (she also specialises in attachment issues) and she had told me I hit the nail on the head with what I think. I refuse to bash him or any one who has this attachment style - but I just wish he could see why he does the things he does, why he gets triggered, look inside himself and the answers are there.
This has been long, I could keep going but I will stop. To be fair I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I suppose for some release. To tell some strangers on the internet what I’ve been going through. It’s shit. I hate it. I’m just in a whole lot of pain, and I’m terrified of the time that is being lost between us. That my body is ticking. And so on.
If you managed to get this far, thanks for listening to me yap and getting some of it out.
submitted by Swimming-Cricket-297 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
He left me with the same bullshit surface level excuses as he did the first time. We have been together for years.
“I need to be alone” “You deserve better” “I can’t give you what you deserve” “I need to heal”
Blablablablabla, the list goes on. The first time he came back (a year and a week later) once I had started to move on - he promised he was ready, he was choosing me, choosing us, every day. He contacted each of my family members to apologise for his actions, to apologise for the pain he caused me and all of us. That he would communicate with me.
Though this 2nd break up isn’t as hard as the first in some ways. As the first time I lost my home (because we lived together), I lost my car (because going to live alone I couldn’t keep a big fancy car) I still feel a whole massive fucking amount of pain. Unfortunately, we had to have a termination of a pregnancy at the start of the year, due to some medication that he is currently taking that causes birth defects and we chose not to take that risk on the baby or on me. He left only a few weeks after I had stopped bleeding. Baring in mind, the whole time I was going through this and obviously was emotional he was telling me that WE will have our chance again, WE now know WE work, it will be in OUR future just this wasn’t the time for US.
Looking back, he was clearly triggered, it scared him. He ran. The fear of growing up, having a little life to look after.
I am 30 next month. This is far from what I would expect my life to be like. I have a good job, a beautiful home, a car, the full works- but this second break up with someone I love completely with every part of myself and the termination has completely knocked the wind out of me this year.
When we got back together, it was incredible. We were better versions of us, which shocked me because we were amazing the first time. It was wonderful. He was (and despite this) still is an amazing man. He unfortunately suffers from childhood trauma like myself- but when he gets triggered he runs, legs it, drops me and literally detaches himself from me to prevent him from looking inside and seeing what the root cause is. I know exactly what it is, he has told me numerous times that it scares the shit out of him how much I know him and sometimes I know him better than himself.
The whole year (and a week) we were split up the first time I had this deep deep knowing he was coming back. And he did, despite everyone around me basically calling me mad because I was so sure of it. This time, I feel exactly the same. I know he is coming back. When, I don’t know. But he will.
Whether or not you believe in attachment theory or not, I know he is an avoidant. DA to be exact. I won’t go in to every single thing to why and his actions, but he is. I am in therapy, and I spoke to my therapist about it (she also specialises in attachment issues) and she had told me I hit the nail on the head with what I think. I refuse to bash him or any one who has this attachment style - but I just wish he could see why he does the things he does, why he gets triggered, look inside himself and the answers are there.
This has been long, I could keep going but I will stop. To be fair I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I suppose for some release. To tell some strangers on the internet what I’ve been going through. It’s shit. I hate it. I’m just in a whole lot of pain, and I’m terrified of the time that is being lost between us. That my body is ticking. And so on.
If you managed to get this far, thanks for listening to me yap and getting some of it out.
2024.06.01 13:09 Sudden-Glove-2684 Beginner & Intermediate Lobbies
I can no longer enter beginner and intermediate lobbies even though I suck at this game. I was barely winning matches, my match history puts my wins at around 50%. But now since I can't go into the noob hubs anymore I get totally wrecked. Like, a lot of my matches I can't even land any hits.
Is there a way to go back to the intermediate hubs where I can interact with people more my level?
Idk what changed. I was having so much fun fighting people who seem to be at the same speed as me.
Please help me find my people again! How can I get welcomed back into the beginneintermediate hubs?
submitted by Sudden-Glove-2684 to StreetFighter [link] [comments]
Is there a way to go back to the intermediate hubs where I can interact with people more my level?
Idk what changed. I was having so much fun fighting people who seem to be at the same speed as me.
Please help me find my people again! How can I get welcomed back into the beginneintermediate hubs?
2024.06.01 13:08 Agitated-Feature-963 MA Experience - positive!
Hiya!
I wanted to come in and write a post about my MA experience 2 weeks post pills.
I took my first dose at 5 weeks and 6 days with fear of the pain and sickness I read so many experience. When I placed the next dose of pills vaginally, I was so nervous as I experience some terrible period cramps on a norm and didn’t want this to be like that.
What I can say is, wow is it easier than expected. My best advice is to eat plain food the day before and the day during. No artificial sugars, no greasy food, just plain easy to digest food. I do this on a regular month before I get my period and I feel like it tremendously helps with my period cramps so doing this for my MA felt smart.
It took about 2.5 hours before any bleeding started. Actually - I felt like it was late and was about to seek help before something came out. From here it was like a full river escaped me (the gush is real). I typically have light periods so this was shocking! At the worst of the cramps I would give the pain a 6/10 and I mean this was the WORST. Nothing ibuprofen and paracetamol didn’t help, I took about 800mg of ibuprofen and 500mg of paracetamol about an hour before I started anything.
Heating pad is a MUST. I don’t think I could have done this without. I unfortunately didn’t have my partner with me during this so I was worried about being alone but I had my friend on speed dial in case of emergency, to be honest it was kind of nice to just be dwelling in my own misery.
Cramps ended about after day 2, after what I feel was the passing of the pregnancy, the cramps started to fade with sometimes popping back up and then going. The bleeding began to stop after day 4.
Here I am 2 weeks after and from time to time I will bleed brown and pass a clot but with no pain. It’s like not often enough to continuously wear a pad but enough to be weary. I have one week to go until I can take my pregnancy test again but honestly when they say “symptoms going down like the feeling of feeling pregnant” it’s true. I didn’t have many symptoms to begin with part from sore breasts and slight cramping (and being very very emotional) but I can’t believe how much BETTER I feel! I feel very confident this worked and that everything went smoother than expected.
I write this for anyone else going through this for their first time! I honestly didn’t think I could become pregnant and after years of BC I stopped it and followed the flo app for my ovulation days. TIP - don’t do this 😂. I’m now back on the pill and feel much better to just have this out of the way.
The whole process was legit easier than a monthly period.
Good luck to those having to go through this! You can do it!
submitted by Agitated-Feature-963 to abortion [link] [comments]
I wanted to come in and write a post about my MA experience 2 weeks post pills.
I took my first dose at 5 weeks and 6 days with fear of the pain and sickness I read so many experience. When I placed the next dose of pills vaginally, I was so nervous as I experience some terrible period cramps on a norm and didn’t want this to be like that.
What I can say is, wow is it easier than expected. My best advice is to eat plain food the day before and the day during. No artificial sugars, no greasy food, just plain easy to digest food. I do this on a regular month before I get my period and I feel like it tremendously helps with my period cramps so doing this for my MA felt smart.
It took about 2.5 hours before any bleeding started. Actually - I felt like it was late and was about to seek help before something came out. From here it was like a full river escaped me (the gush is real). I typically have light periods so this was shocking! At the worst of the cramps I would give the pain a 6/10 and I mean this was the WORST. Nothing ibuprofen and paracetamol didn’t help, I took about 800mg of ibuprofen and 500mg of paracetamol about an hour before I started anything.
Heating pad is a MUST. I don’t think I could have done this without. I unfortunately didn’t have my partner with me during this so I was worried about being alone but I had my friend on speed dial in case of emergency, to be honest it was kind of nice to just be dwelling in my own misery.
Cramps ended about after day 2, after what I feel was the passing of the pregnancy, the cramps started to fade with sometimes popping back up and then going. The bleeding began to stop after day 4.
Here I am 2 weeks after and from time to time I will bleed brown and pass a clot but with no pain. It’s like not often enough to continuously wear a pad but enough to be weary. I have one week to go until I can take my pregnancy test again but honestly when they say “symptoms going down like the feeling of feeling pregnant” it’s true. I didn’t have many symptoms to begin with part from sore breasts and slight cramping (and being very very emotional) but I can’t believe how much BETTER I feel! I feel very confident this worked and that everything went smoother than expected.
I write this for anyone else going through this for their first time! I honestly didn’t think I could become pregnant and after years of BC I stopped it and followed the flo app for my ovulation days. TIP - don’t do this 😂. I’m now back on the pill and feel much better to just have this out of the way.
The whole process was legit easier than a monthly period.
Good luck to those having to go through this! You can do it!
2024.06.01 13:08 whatonearthare AITAH for telling a girl that cheated on her bf with me, that I have issues trusting her to be loyal?
Long story short: Met her 6 months ago at a party I hosted, we had lots in common, and she was in a relationship. She showed interest, invited me over to their house when bf was gone several times. Mentioned their relationship was dying, and she had sex with me a couple weeks before they broke up. Bf never got to know, but was suspicious.
We started "dating" in the sense that she didn't want anything official yet, but we had fun times together and basically behaved like a couple. I wanted it to become more serious, but she held back. We both agreed to go with the flow and just see what happens. We had about five months of fun times together, and I really enjoyed her company.
She started distancing and become more unavailable the last month, I asked why and she said she didn't want anything serious. She didn't want to jump to a new relationship and work on herself and her issues.
Okay, so after some talking we agreed that we could keep it more casual since we loved to hang out together, but she was scared about the intimacy part since she didn't want to be "locked" to me, as she felt like she had to act loyal towards me. She wanted to have her options open. I said it's fine, I didn't expect her to be loyal in a casual friendship that includes sex, and in fact I would've had issues trusting her anyways since she's cheated on her ex twice, at least. I've heard several other unconfirmed stories from people that used to know her too, but I haven't told her that.
Anyways, after I told her that, she flipped out and basically blamed me for not telling her that before, that she had ruined her relationship and life, that I've used her, and didn't talk to me for a couple of days. She said she had hoped that it could've turned into anything serious, even though she said before that she didn't want anything serious right now. Almost like I was supposed to "wait" for her, and it could be a year or more.
So, am I the asshole? Should I have been more clear about my insecurity of her cheating in her past relationship earlier in our "situationship"? I feel like I just dodged a major bullet instead. Feels like she used that comment as an excuse to get mad at me and end it. Now she talks to me like I'm a stranger, and I've kept my distance as best as I can. Shame as I really liked her, and we were so alike.
I have asked her to meet in person and end whatever we had and gather my belongings, hopefully with no hard feelings since I want to be able to stumble upon her at parties without having anything unsaid. We have some friends in common, so it might happen.
submitted by whatonearthare to AITAH [link] [comments]
We started "dating" in the sense that she didn't want anything official yet, but we had fun times together and basically behaved like a couple. I wanted it to become more serious, but she held back. We both agreed to go with the flow and just see what happens. We had about five months of fun times together, and I really enjoyed her company.
She started distancing and become more unavailable the last month, I asked why and she said she didn't want anything serious. She didn't want to jump to a new relationship and work on herself and her issues.
Okay, so after some talking we agreed that we could keep it more casual since we loved to hang out together, but she was scared about the intimacy part since she didn't want to be "locked" to me, as she felt like she had to act loyal towards me. She wanted to have her options open. I said it's fine, I didn't expect her to be loyal in a casual friendship that includes sex, and in fact I would've had issues trusting her anyways since she's cheated on her ex twice, at least. I've heard several other unconfirmed stories from people that used to know her too, but I haven't told her that.
Anyways, after I told her that, she flipped out and basically blamed me for not telling her that before, that she had ruined her relationship and life, that I've used her, and didn't talk to me for a couple of days. She said she had hoped that it could've turned into anything serious, even though she said before that she didn't want anything serious right now. Almost like I was supposed to "wait" for her, and it could be a year or more.
So, am I the asshole? Should I have been more clear about my insecurity of her cheating in her past relationship earlier in our "situationship"? I feel like I just dodged a major bullet instead. Feels like she used that comment as an excuse to get mad at me and end it. Now she talks to me like I'm a stranger, and I've kept my distance as best as I can. Shame as I really liked her, and we were so alike.
I have asked her to meet in person and end whatever we had and gather my belongings, hopefully with no hard feelings since I want to be able to stumble upon her at parties without having anything unsaid. We have some friends in common, so it might happen.
2024.06.01 13:07 Creative-Bear2334 How to make friends in university?
Hello guys, I'm 20F, using a throwaway because this is something I wouldn't want family members to know, I came to Berlin as a foreigner to study psychology 8 months ago but couldn't make any friends yet, I have tried talking to people and befriend them but it's always superficial that I don't understand what am I doing wrong, I wouldn't be lying if I said it has taken a toll on my mental health, being alone somewhere, I tried a friendship/dating apps like ur my type because it's more about long-term stuff and got some matches and we're good friends, but I still couldn't make any friends in my university, that is my main problem, I'm not able to form a long-term friendship here it's as if everyone already has their friends, I'm not sure if the problem is my social skills or that people in germany don't really like being friends with foreigners, and being a female studying abroad for the first time in my life is already stressful enough, I would love to hear some inputs from people who have been in a similar situation, thank you.
submitted by Creative-Bear2334 to study [link] [comments]
2024.06.01 13:07 PlanktonReal Have I been used? How to get over it
I (26) was with this guy (27) for a year and a half.
We were in a long distance relationship, then I had the chance to join him for a few month to a country were he was also moving to.
We took a temporary house together until he got his permanent house.
In my eyes, it was all going well despite some normal day to day fights (I was also very stressed out from other things during that time).
I met his family and friends but he would never say that he could marry me , as he was unsure.
I was his first girlfriend.
A week before I left, he told me that he had lied to me about something really trivial but that really shows how uncommitted he is (not cheating).
Fast forward, he settled in his new house and got stable in his job.
I went back home, we were on a "break" to think about everything.
A few days in, he texts me and says that he took the decision to breakup.
We saw each other live to end it, he told me he was not in love with me anymore wheras there was no signs of that during our time together.
I then moved to the country he is in, I've been here for a year.
I saw him only once and couldn't handle it.
I cut cords with him and took him off my social media.
His friends still talk to me.
I have major FOMO when they post things together.
It's so weird that I didn't see him again and that he "respected" what I wanted and never talked to me again.
I saw his profile on a dating app a few weeks back so I guess he is not with anyone.
I hate it that he would rather be alone abroad than with me.
I am leaving the country in a month for good and I can't believe we haven't talked.
I feel like he never loved me or liked me even .
submitted by PlanktonReal to CallHerDaddy [link] [comments]
We were in a long distance relationship, then I had the chance to join him for a few month to a country were he was also moving to.
We took a temporary house together until he got his permanent house.
In my eyes, it was all going well despite some normal day to day fights (I was also very stressed out from other things during that time).
I met his family and friends but he would never say that he could marry me , as he was unsure.
I was his first girlfriend.
A week before I left, he told me that he had lied to me about something really trivial but that really shows how uncommitted he is (not cheating).
Fast forward, he settled in his new house and got stable in his job.
I went back home, we were on a "break" to think about everything.
A few days in, he texts me and says that he took the decision to breakup.
We saw each other live to end it, he told me he was not in love with me anymore wheras there was no signs of that during our time together.
I then moved to the country he is in, I've been here for a year.
I saw him only once and couldn't handle it.
I cut cords with him and took him off my social media.
His friends still talk to me.
I have major FOMO when they post things together.
It's so weird that I didn't see him again and that he "respected" what I wanted and never talked to me again.
I saw his profile on a dating app a few weeks back so I guess he is not with anyone.
I hate it that he would rather be alone abroad than with me.
I am leaving the country in a month for good and I can't believe we haven't talked.
I feel like he never loved me or liked me even .
2024.06.01 13:07 davidleigh62 Could I have Sciatica?
F in my late 20s overweight 5f3 82 kg work 2 8hour night shift in retail lifting upto 15kg max ish ok so I get a lot of backache ( Feels like somebody is sitting on my back rather than stabbing pain) mostly in lower back but can travel to upper back I have a Massage about once a month And the person always says I have a lot of tension in my back have contacted my gp about this but they say symptoms can be managed at home(I'm in the uk) no family history other than grandfather dying from diabetes related complications and both grandmother's arthritis
submitted by davidleigh62 to ask [link] [comments]
2024.06.01 13:07 Enderking90 [Online] [PF1E] [GMT +3] a player with some experience with PF 1E is looking to play it more and learn more.
greetings! as said in the title, I'm craving to experience playing more 1st edition of pathfinder.
I'm 21+ in terms of age, and when it comes to familiarity with the system is... well, I'm more or less familiar with it? though there's still a lot for me to really learn.
in terms of time, I've been playing for like couple of years it now in a couple of games? beyond that, my TTRPG familiarity is largely with 5E which I've played for handful of years now.
in terms of gameplay, I prefer a mix of combat and RP, with a bit of a leaning to combat.
when it comes to the setting, I generally like the usual medieval fantasy-ish, high magic stuff. y'know, basic stuff. not that I'm not down for other stuff, mind you.
as for time slot wise, I'm paradoxically actually way more busy during the weekend then during the weekday.
for like, the lines and veils stuff, I don't really have anything that eeks me out or like that? closest is maybe like... graphic eye mutilation? idk.
oh, and I'm a guy, he/him? I guess that's something to mention?
honestly I am not good at self-introductions, never have been, so sorry about the sub-par quality... but if there's anything that's left unclear, I'd be more then happy to answer any and all questions you might have?
submitted by Enderking90 to LFG_Europe [link] [comments]
I'm 21+ in terms of age, and when it comes to familiarity with the system is... well, I'm more or less familiar with it? though there's still a lot for me to really learn.
in terms of time, I've been playing for like couple of years it now in a couple of games? beyond that, my TTRPG familiarity is largely with 5E which I've played for handful of years now.
in terms of gameplay, I prefer a mix of combat and RP, with a bit of a leaning to combat.
when it comes to the setting, I generally like the usual medieval fantasy-ish, high magic stuff. y'know, basic stuff. not that I'm not down for other stuff, mind you.
as for time slot wise, I'm paradoxically actually way more busy during the weekend then during the weekday.
for like, the lines and veils stuff, I don't really have anything that eeks me out or like that? closest is maybe like... graphic eye mutilation? idk.
oh, and I'm a guy, he/him? I guess that's something to mention?
honestly I am not good at self-introductions, never have been, so sorry about the sub-par quality... but if there's anything that's left unclear, I'd be more then happy to answer any and all questions you might have?
2024.06.01 13:06 flasked3 clothes, plus some
im almost never comfortable, in one way or another. in this case, i find dressing myself absolutely draining. NOTHING looks right or feels like 'me', or i may find one outfit i feel comfortable in and wear it exclusively for months until my head starts to shift that too. then im in this period where i can hardly even go out until that outfit feels 'refreshed'. i wish i could look at it like "theyre just clothes", i mean i do, but the way they fit and a hood down may affect my hair or the lengths changing my proportions or pockets making me look 'fat', also generally hating most new clothes/modern fashion but i dont like to look trashy(i used to but my bdd has begun to focus on my femininity) nor do i have it in me to try too hard! i go thrifting often but scarcely find anything for clothes, especially because i dont have a lot to spend, and then when i finally buy it coz i like it i can't bring myself to wear it. then ive got all these strong principles and moral values on consumerism and superficiality and all sorts to battle with that EVEN if i sorted myself i would feel shame, or like ive betrayed myself. i just want to be comfortable. physically, physiologically, mentally,, i feel like ive wasted my mind and my youth with this incessant redundant overthinking - and over such silly things! nothing is right! so i change my mind over how to approach it, or anything (or how i feel/ my opinion on a thing in the first place), constantly, and nothing changes. moreover, i cant tell if im so indecisive and irresolute BECAUSE of bdd and the way it affects your moods; that nothing drives me long enough to decide or commit and everything for me is a ridiculously slow process; if it leaks into parts of me and my life unrelated to look; - or if thats just who i am naturally. i overthought long before developing bdd and again my uncertainty stretches beyond appearance. all of me! volatile! without any impulsivity in me to force it. i just lie there and turn a thing over and over and over, i hardly move. god make me pretty or give me the personality to move past it and make people laugh. give me any sense of conviction so i can at least write for more than a few minutes at a time. it must just be who i am, and bdd is some gnarly mutation of the same pattern.
submitted by flasked3 to BDDvent [link] [comments]
2024.06.01 13:06 picklegirl97 Staying past notice
Hi all
Our landlady has sold the house we are living in and unfortunately we’ve been given Section 21 notice to leave by 8th July (This was issued on 8th May). I feel like that date is slowly creeping up on us, given that estate agents are usually only open Mon-Fri and barely any listings are coming up on Rightmove etc I’m starting to fear we’re going to have to tell her that we can’t find anywhere to live.
To put my mind at ease I’d just like to know a couple things/need advice, if we do have to stay past the notice period will this affect us negatively in any way (credit etc)? Would we have to pay court fees? How much time is reasonable to let her know we haven’t found anywhere.. 1/2 weeks beforehand?
Really hate to be in this situation but the market is absolutely dire and a lot of people are in the same situation, it’s tough. I don’t want to be a pain in the ass tenant for staying but I can’t make ourselves homeless. I know she wants us out ASAP as she sent me an email 5 days after giving us notice asking if we’d signed a new tenancy agreement yet!
Thank you
submitted by picklegirl97 to HousingUK [link] [comments]
Our landlady has sold the house we are living in and unfortunately we’ve been given Section 21 notice to leave by 8th July (This was issued on 8th May). I feel like that date is slowly creeping up on us, given that estate agents are usually only open Mon-Fri and barely any listings are coming up on Rightmove etc I’m starting to fear we’re going to have to tell her that we can’t find anywhere to live.
To put my mind at ease I’d just like to know a couple things/need advice, if we do have to stay past the notice period will this affect us negatively in any way (credit etc)? Would we have to pay court fees? How much time is reasonable to let her know we haven’t found anywhere.. 1/2 weeks beforehand?
Really hate to be in this situation but the market is absolutely dire and a lot of people are in the same situation, it’s tough. I don’t want to be a pain in the ass tenant for staying but I can’t make ourselves homeless. I know she wants us out ASAP as she sent me an email 5 days after giving us notice asking if we’d signed a new tenancy agreement yet!
Thank you
2024.06.01 13:06 Creative-Bear2334 Making friends in my university
Hello guys, I'm 20F, using a throwaway because this is something I wouldn't want family members to know, I came to Berlin as a foreigner to study psychology 8 months ago but couldn't make any friends yet, I have tried talking to people and befriend them but it's always superficial that I don't understand what am I doing wrong, I wouldn't be lying if I said it has taken a toll on my mental health, being alone somewhere, I tried a friendship/dating apps like ur my type because it's more about long-term stuff and got some matches and we're good friends, but I still couldn't make any friends in my university, that is my main problem, I'm not able to form a long-term friendship here it's as if everyone already has their friends, I'm not sure if the problem is my social skills or that people in germany don't really like being friends with foreigners, and being a female studying abroad for the first time in my life is already stressful enough, I would love to hear some inputs from people who have been in a similar situation, thank you.
submitted by Creative-Bear2334 to studytips [link] [comments]
2024.06.01 13:06 Direct-Caterpillar77 My (29F) Boyfriend (29M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Waffle House
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA_wafflehouse
My (29F) Boyfriend (29M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Waffle House
Originally posted to relationship_advice
Original Post May 11, 2020
I know this sounds really weird, but here it is:
My BF and I have been together for three years. We met and started dating when we were both in graduate school, but I dropped out to go back to college to pursue a different career. We are both finished now, and live together making a fairly nice combined income.
Our income is relevant because we could afford to eat somewhere nice when we're out and about, but he always wants breakfast food. When he was a child his dad couldn't stand eating breakfast-type food in the afternoon or evenings, so his mom would make him waffles/pancakes, eggs, and bacon in the evening whenever his dad was busy or out of town. It's a wonderful and safe memory for him, and when he goes to his "happy place," he says that's where he always goes.
My BF is an incredibly nice and caring person. He's emotionally tuned in to everyone and recognizes arising issues a long time before they occur. He loves animals, and is kind and gentle with every bug, bird, and pet that he comes across. He's almost always willing to turn the other cheek in social situations where somebody tries to insult him or get aggressive towards him, and usually winds up defusing the situation and having a productive discussion about whatever the issue was. Except at Waffle House.
Anytime we're out he wants to go to the same goddamn Waffle House and get breakfast food. I'm not a big eater, so I used to not really care. I would just drink coffee and read my book while he enjoyed his food. But that became impossible once he and this one cook started chirping at each other every time we went there. BF complained about his eggs one time, because he likes them a little runny and they were served hard. The cook responded by giving him scrambled eggs. When he brought it up again the cook served him two hardboiled eggs. I think it was just part of the cook's schtick, and it was kind of funny tbh, but my BF wasn't able to laugh it off. When we left he was in kind of a bad mood, but we didn't really talk about it.
The next week we were out getting some shopping done, and he wanted to go to Waffle House again. I suggested that we try out a different place, or at least a different Waffle House location, but he only wanted the same Waffle House. We went in and sat down, and once again the same cook served his eggs wrong. My BF sort of snapped at him that he wasn't interested in messing around, and just wanted the correct eggs. The cook then served him a piece of toast with a hole cut out in the middle with a fried egg in it. My BF got really mad and threw the egg toast at the cook, which made the cook come around from behind the bar and throw it back at him. They ended up sort of wrestling/fighting until my BF was like "this is bullshit" and walked out. Nobody got hurt, but the few other people in there were watching and laughing a bit.
This is the crazy part: my BF keeps going back and ordering eggs and getting into fistfights with the same cook. It's almost a ritual at this point. My BF orders runny eggs, the cook serves him some other version of eggs, and then they beat the shit out of each other. I quit going with him after the second fight, but he kept going by himself. They're like Peter and the giant chicken from Family Guy, it's the weirdest thing. They've physically fought like 6 or 7 times over this.
I've tried to talk to him about it a few times, but he keeps saying it's a matter of principle. I've told him to talk to the manager or something like that, but he just waves me off. Apparently that cook hasn't yet made him the correct runny eggs, but it's like he spends the week learning new ways of preparing eggs to piss my boyfriend off.
The thing is, we're getting married this summer. He's accepted a job in a new city and it'll be easy for me to find work after the wedding, so we'll be moving away from his sworn enemy waffle house guy. He hasn't really been out since quarantine started, but it wouldn't surprise me if that's the first place he goes when restaurants open back up for sitting customers. But my main worry is this strange vindictive side of him I've never seen before that leads him to fight the same guy every week. The violence itself is an issue for me, but the obsession over it almost bothers me more.
Should I be worried that this side of him will come up later in our marriage? How do I get him to open up about this? Is this type of obsession a choice, or is it indicative of something deeper?
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP. DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP OR COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL POST
submitted by Direct-Caterpillar77 to BestofNoUpdates [link] [comments]
My (29F) Boyfriend (29M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Waffle House
Originally posted to relationship_advice
Original Post May 11, 2020
I know this sounds really weird, but here it is:
My BF and I have been together for three years. We met and started dating when we were both in graduate school, but I dropped out to go back to college to pursue a different career. We are both finished now, and live together making a fairly nice combined income.
Our income is relevant because we could afford to eat somewhere nice when we're out and about, but he always wants breakfast food. When he was a child his dad couldn't stand eating breakfast-type food in the afternoon or evenings, so his mom would make him waffles/pancakes, eggs, and bacon in the evening whenever his dad was busy or out of town. It's a wonderful and safe memory for him, and when he goes to his "happy place," he says that's where he always goes.
My BF is an incredibly nice and caring person. He's emotionally tuned in to everyone and recognizes arising issues a long time before they occur. He loves animals, and is kind and gentle with every bug, bird, and pet that he comes across. He's almost always willing to turn the other cheek in social situations where somebody tries to insult him or get aggressive towards him, and usually winds up defusing the situation and having a productive discussion about whatever the issue was. Except at Waffle House.
Anytime we're out he wants to go to the same goddamn Waffle House and get breakfast food. I'm not a big eater, so I used to not really care. I would just drink coffee and read my book while he enjoyed his food. But that became impossible once he and this one cook started chirping at each other every time we went there. BF complained about his eggs one time, because he likes them a little runny and they were served hard. The cook responded by giving him scrambled eggs. When he brought it up again the cook served him two hardboiled eggs. I think it was just part of the cook's schtick, and it was kind of funny tbh, but my BF wasn't able to laugh it off. When we left he was in kind of a bad mood, but we didn't really talk about it.
The next week we were out getting some shopping done, and he wanted to go to Waffle House again. I suggested that we try out a different place, or at least a different Waffle House location, but he only wanted the same Waffle House. We went in and sat down, and once again the same cook served his eggs wrong. My BF sort of snapped at him that he wasn't interested in messing around, and just wanted the correct eggs. The cook then served him a piece of toast with a hole cut out in the middle with a fried egg in it. My BF got really mad and threw the egg toast at the cook, which made the cook come around from behind the bar and throw it back at him. They ended up sort of wrestling/fighting until my BF was like "this is bullshit" and walked out. Nobody got hurt, but the few other people in there were watching and laughing a bit.
This is the crazy part: my BF keeps going back and ordering eggs and getting into fistfights with the same cook. It's almost a ritual at this point. My BF orders runny eggs, the cook serves him some other version of eggs, and then they beat the shit out of each other. I quit going with him after the second fight, but he kept going by himself. They're like Peter and the giant chicken from Family Guy, it's the weirdest thing. They've physically fought like 6 or 7 times over this.
I've tried to talk to him about it a few times, but he keeps saying it's a matter of principle. I've told him to talk to the manager or something like that, but he just waves me off. Apparently that cook hasn't yet made him the correct runny eggs, but it's like he spends the week learning new ways of preparing eggs to piss my boyfriend off.
The thing is, we're getting married this summer. He's accepted a job in a new city and it'll be easy for me to find work after the wedding, so we'll be moving away from his sworn enemy waffle house guy. He hasn't really been out since quarantine started, but it wouldn't surprise me if that's the first place he goes when restaurants open back up for sitting customers. But my main worry is this strange vindictive side of him I've never seen before that leads him to fight the same guy every week. The violence itself is an issue for me, but the obsession over it almost bothers me more.
Should I be worried that this side of him will come up later in our marriage? How do I get him to open up about this? Is this type of obsession a choice, or is it indicative of something deeper?
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP. DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP OR COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL POST
2024.06.01 13:06 PersonalRub3303 talking about myself a lot
i’m open to the idea that this could be a me problem and something i need to work on. i cannot recall having the best social skills from being a kid to now. but i know i am able to carry out a conversation. in middle school i was able to interact with people quite well to be considered a well liked class clown.
maybe this has to do with a really rough period of time i may have dealt with depression (i say may cause i never got a diagnosis but something was definitely wrong) starting sometime october of 9th. i feel it’s gotten harder to talk to people. during all this time, confidence was low. i stopped caring for trying to be fluent in conversation (i didn’t care if i just stayed silent after i responded to someone or i would avoid walking past people who i knew might want to reach out to me)
it’s gotten better this year when i realized how being in pain made me unintentionally push people away. my conversation skills are improving. however, i’m noticing i tend to talk about me a lot. i really don’t mean it in an egotistical way. i don’t like me enough to put me on a pedestal. it comes out naturally, i think it’s a way to assure a person that i understand the idea behind what they’re talking about. i also think i do it to encourage a person to express their personal views as well. when there’s a back and forth like that cnversations feel fluent and more significant because they trust me with sharing insight into their persona. i can sort of engage with a topic and not make it personal, but it takes a lot more effort and it’s not unusual that i can’t come up with a response. more like small talk. i’ll include a template in the comments for clarification.
thoughts on this? it’d be a pain but i’ll accept if im simply subconsciously self-centered if you guys think so. however, is this tendency normal? how can i have conversations less about “you and I” and more about topics and discussions? don’t want people to begin to avoid me cause they get the sense that i’m some sort of egomaniac.
tldr: i tend to talk about myself in conversations and i make them personal (about “you and i”) because it makes conversations flow easier than just discussing a topic and it worries me that people will get annoyed by the untrue sense that i am egotistical
submitted by PersonalRub3303 to socialskills [link] [comments]
maybe this has to do with a really rough period of time i may have dealt with depression (i say may cause i never got a diagnosis but something was definitely wrong) starting sometime october of 9th. i feel it’s gotten harder to talk to people. during all this time, confidence was low. i stopped caring for trying to be fluent in conversation (i didn’t care if i just stayed silent after i responded to someone or i would avoid walking past people who i knew might want to reach out to me)
it’s gotten better this year when i realized how being in pain made me unintentionally push people away. my conversation skills are improving. however, i’m noticing i tend to talk about me a lot. i really don’t mean it in an egotistical way. i don’t like me enough to put me on a pedestal. it comes out naturally, i think it’s a way to assure a person that i understand the idea behind what they’re talking about. i also think i do it to encourage a person to express their personal views as well. when there’s a back and forth like that cnversations feel fluent and more significant because they trust me with sharing insight into their persona. i can sort of engage with a topic and not make it personal, but it takes a lot more effort and it’s not unusual that i can’t come up with a response. more like small talk. i’ll include a template in the comments for clarification.
thoughts on this? it’d be a pain but i’ll accept if im simply subconsciously self-centered if you guys think so. however, is this tendency normal? how can i have conversations less about “you and I” and more about topics and discussions? don’t want people to begin to avoid me cause they get the sense that i’m some sort of egomaniac.
tldr: i tend to talk about myself in conversations and i make them personal (about “you and i”) because it makes conversations flow easier than just discussing a topic and it worries me that people will get annoyed by the untrue sense that i am egotistical
2024.06.01 13:05 Miserable-Switch191 Based on your experience, do I have any chance to win her back?
This is my story: My girlfriend (F/24) broke with me (M/24) last week. We had our on and offs but 2 months ago we discussed and had a deep talk about our future and we decided to continue, where I told her that I will try to change all the things that she didn't like to me and give her much more attention (these past 2 years I have been extremely busy with my work and studies and we have been in long distance, so I have tried to stay near of her as much as I could but maybe not at my best. I wanted to continue my studies abroad so I could have a better future for both of us)... Short story long, last week she said that she likes the progress and the position where our relationship is now is what she really wanted from us. The day before break up we were facetiming and discussing and very happy, I wanted to ask the next days about the idea of getting engaged since I am in the end of my studies and thinking to go back to my country. Suddenly the next day she told me that she want to break up, she continues by saying these "classic words" that she loves me, and that the next girl would be lucky to have me, but she just doesn't think that we are a good fit, after +4 years of relationship?! ... I tried a lot to convince her that she is making a mistake and that she has to think more about that, since honestly she is the only girl I want and everything I did was to have a better future for us, I never thought of anyone else or even talked to any other girl. She said that it's done.
I want to win her back. I started no contact the next day, not to heal myself but to win her. The other day she put my favorite picture of her as a profile picture in social media, why? I don't want a future without her. Can anybody share any success story since our relationship was done in good terms. and I truly believe that she doesn't have anyone else in here life and that she loves me, and she has also fought a lot for our relationship. I just don't understand why when we agreed to continue stronger, and we were actually going stronger. Can anybody give me something?
submitted by Miserable-Switch191 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
I want to win her back. I started no contact the next day, not to heal myself but to win her. The other day she put my favorite picture of her as a profile picture in social media, why? I don't want a future without her. Can anybody share any success story since our relationship was done in good terms. and I truly believe that she doesn't have anyone else in here life and that she loves me, and she has also fought a lot for our relationship. I just don't understand why when we agreed to continue stronger, and we were actually going stronger. Can anybody give me something?
2024.06.01 13:05 No_Reveal2021 i had a dream about Danny!
lol so i had a dream danny gonzalez changed this name and everyone was getting mad at him like “you can’t just change your legal name on a random tuesday danny!” And it was MY name I CHOOSE jay and his last name was kei i think LOL everyone was talking about how u have to be trans to change your name on the subreddit and he was getting a lot of backlash😭
submitted by No_Reveal2021 to DannyGonzalez [link] [comments]
2024.06.01 13:04 JUJU-1999 Talking about the future causes too much stress on relationship (24 F) (25 M)
Hello everyone :)
I (24 F) and my bf (25 M) have been together for almost a year and a half, and we have a really happy and fulfilling relationship overall. We were incredibly happy being together before long distance began a year into our relationship, and long distance has been going smoothly for the past almost 6 months. The one thing that’s been an issue has been talking about a future together. I really want a future with him, I have had multiple relationships and I know how special he is and he’s truly the most amazing person, and I’m constantly researching and finding information about closing the gap and moving where he is in less than two years. Although my boyfriend says he can’t definitively say that we’ll get married one day, he doesn’t want to make a future with me a goal either (so he doesn’t get disappointed if it doesn’t work out). He says he wants a future with me, but that he doesn’t know if we’ll realistically be able to ever close the gap, and sometimes he worries we’re just being crazy by continuing long distance (even though he says he’s super happy). He also says having me move there puts so much pressure on him and that he feels I’ll never be able to integrate fully and that moving for love isn’t the smartest idea if I would’ve never moved to that country if it wasn’t for him…..It’s hard on him because we met while he was an international student in my hometown and he said he always saw himself moving to my country and never me going to his, but he doesn’t seem to want to try and move to mine anymore, so the only way the relationship can work is me trying to go there but us talking about that puts too much stress on us both. I get stressed because he always seems like he has no faith in it working and seems to be questioning the relationship long term, and he gets stressed because he can’t handle the idea of me moving there really. He also wonders if I would be the same amount of happy and in love with someone I found in my home country, but l simply just want to be with him. It’s my boyfriend’s first relationship so maybe he needs to figure that out for himself, before creating a future long distance with his first love? Idk every time I offer a breakup during these conversations, he ALWAYS denies it and says he’s happy and in love now and wants to stay. He also worries if we try this for a couple of years and it doesn’t work out that I’ll regret it, and that it’ll be hard for me to find someone else since I’ll be 27 by then….. is this all healthy and normal in a relationship? Have any of you guys had these experiences?
submitted by JUJU-1999 to LongDistance [link] [comments]
I (24 F) and my bf (25 M) have been together for almost a year and a half, and we have a really happy and fulfilling relationship overall. We were incredibly happy being together before long distance began a year into our relationship, and long distance has been going smoothly for the past almost 6 months. The one thing that’s been an issue has been talking about a future together. I really want a future with him, I have had multiple relationships and I know how special he is and he’s truly the most amazing person, and I’m constantly researching and finding information about closing the gap and moving where he is in less than two years. Although my boyfriend says he can’t definitively say that we’ll get married one day, he doesn’t want to make a future with me a goal either (so he doesn’t get disappointed if it doesn’t work out). He says he wants a future with me, but that he doesn’t know if we’ll realistically be able to ever close the gap, and sometimes he worries we’re just being crazy by continuing long distance (even though he says he’s super happy). He also says having me move there puts so much pressure on him and that he feels I’ll never be able to integrate fully and that moving for love isn’t the smartest idea if I would’ve never moved to that country if it wasn’t for him…..It’s hard on him because we met while he was an international student in my hometown and he said he always saw himself moving to my country and never me going to his, but he doesn’t seem to want to try and move to mine anymore, so the only way the relationship can work is me trying to go there but us talking about that puts too much stress on us both. I get stressed because he always seems like he has no faith in it working and seems to be questioning the relationship long term, and he gets stressed because he can’t handle the idea of me moving there really. He also wonders if I would be the same amount of happy and in love with someone I found in my home country, but l simply just want to be with him. It’s my boyfriend’s first relationship so maybe he needs to figure that out for himself, before creating a future long distance with his first love? Idk every time I offer a breakup during these conversations, he ALWAYS denies it and says he’s happy and in love now and wants to stay. He also worries if we try this for a couple of years and it doesn’t work out that I’ll regret it, and that it’ll be hard for me to find someone else since I’ll be 27 by then….. is this all healthy and normal in a relationship? Have any of you guys had these experiences?
2024.06.01 13:04 RepulsiveAd4058 Dog and Seizure
My white Labrador has had three seizures in the past 3 years. They began when she turned 2.
We haven't figured out what it is, but we have some assumptions it's due to being overly excited. The three times have occured in a day when she's been playing a lot.
Mind you, it's not like she's been running for an hour. Consider it a good 20-25 min of play; jumping in and out of the pool, or playing catch.
She seizes for about 3-5 min. Then, she comes out of it like nothing happened. Tired, of course, and a bit dazed - but still active.
Is there an underlying cause?
submitted by RepulsiveAd4058 to DogAdvice [link] [comments]
We haven't figured out what it is, but we have some assumptions it's due to being overly excited. The three times have occured in a day when she's been playing a lot.
Mind you, it's not like she's been running for an hour. Consider it a good 20-25 min of play; jumping in and out of the pool, or playing catch.
She seizes for about 3-5 min. Then, she comes out of it like nothing happened. Tired, of course, and a bit dazed - but still active.
Is there an underlying cause?
2024.06.01 13:04 SassyPaRappa [19M] Do you text a lot? I'd love to listen!
Hello! 👋🏽
Do you like to talk a lot? Do the other people in your life find you annoying? I won't!
I'd love to meet someone who likes talking and starting conversations, because I am bad at it! It can be short-term, but I would much prefer something long-term! please tell me in your few first messages whether you want it to be one-time or not lol
If you can't start conversations then please don't text me, because I can't either :'( I can just keep the convo going, but if you can start convos, then please send a DM! You can talk about anything you want, or just rant about your day, anything tbh. I'll listen and share what I have to say too so you won't feel like you're talking to a brick wall!
Tell me what stuff you like, and I'll talk about mine! Saying our hobbies/interests here will give us less to talk about in DM's. And I believe that friends who are into wildly different things can still make connections.
BTW my timezone is GMT+3, if you don't care about timezones then neither do I.
submitted by SassyPaRappa to Needafriend [link] [comments]
Do you like to talk a lot? Do the other people in your life find you annoying? I won't!
I'd love to meet someone who likes talking and starting conversations, because I am bad at it! It can be short-term, but I would much prefer something long-term! please tell me in your few first messages whether you want it to be one-time or not lol
If you can't start conversations then please don't text me, because I can't either :'( I can just keep the convo going, but if you can start convos, then please send a DM! You can talk about anything you want, or just rant about your day, anything tbh. I'll listen and share what I have to say too so you won't feel like you're talking to a brick wall!
Tell me what stuff you like, and I'll talk about mine! Saying our hobbies/interests here will give us less to talk about in DM's. And I believe that friends who are into wildly different things can still make connections.
BTW my timezone is GMT+3, if you don't care about timezones then neither do I.