Hello. I have extreme insomnia to the point where I will sleep only three hours in the span of a week. I'm really losing my mind. My doctor prescribed Trazodone at 50 mg. It doesn't knock me out, but I feel better than having nothing. I would say my sleep has improved. Instead of sleeping 0 hours, I sleep 3 or 2 on Trazodone. The only problem I'm encountering with Trazodone is that it's giving me a runny nose and congestion to the point where I can't breathe! For those who are on Trazodone, did any of your symptoms alleviate on their own? I'm worried that I'll have to quit Trazodone because not being able to breathe while lying down only prevents me from sleeping. Are there other medications similar to Trazodone that can induce sleep without being habit-forming?
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I don’t know where to start, this will be a long post. If you read through, thank you!
I first stopped speaking to my mother in 2019, I would now describe her as a covert narcissist but at the time I was just fed up with feeling like I was parenting an emotionally volatile teenager every time I spoke to her, every conversation ended in an argument and I was always to blame, always “breaking her heart”. I was an emotional (and on a few occasions as a teen, physical) punching bag and I just couldn’t take it anymore. For a few months her texts would switch between loving, heartbroken and scorned, getting meaner and meaner the longer I left them without a reply. She then started texting my boyfriend (now husband) to tell him how the no-contact was tearing her apart and giving him messages to pass on to me.
Fast forward, I fell pregnant at the end of 2021 and felt that she needed to hear the news from me. Less out of any actual desire to speak to her and more because I didn’t know what she would do if I let her hear it through the grapevine. I had read a couple of books about narcissistic parents by this point and set very clear boundaries for her. I would send her pregnancy updates and ultrasounds but I didn’t want unsolicited advice or constant phone calls and I was absolutely not prepared to hash out our “differences”. This was fine for a couple of months until is wasn’t and she stopped respecting my boundaries, called me non-stop until I answered and told me I was selfish if I didn’t want to talk. I pushed back and she told me to “have a nice life” and blocked me.
Our daughter was born 4 months later and at 4 days post-partum I got a text from her saying “I’m flying to name of my town on Friday, I don’t care if you don’t want to see me. You will show me my granddaughter through the window if you’re still not speaking to me”, I called her in hormonal hysterics while she was with friends and she answered the phone with this unnatural, sickly sweet voice and said “darling, you sound so upset what’s wrong? Do you have support at home?” It was like talking to a stranger, the thought of that phone call still sends a chill down my spine. My dad (they have been divorced for many years) eventually talked her out of the visit and she blocked me again.
This pattern has repeated itself multiple times over the past 2 years since my daughter was born, I set a boundary and she disregards it. I am selfish and she is heartbroken, she blocks me and I don’t hear anything for a couple of months. Then she begs me to unblock her so I can send pictures of her granddaughter. For clarity’s sake, I have never blocked her.
That brings us more or less to today. My family (husband, daughter, dog and I) will be moving overseas for work in about 2 months, this happened suddenly as is the nature of my husband’s job. We found out yesterday and my dad was the first person I told (we have a great relationship), he told his mom (my grandmother) and she told my mother. This morning I received multiple calls followed by a text from her telling me she’d like to have a “little chat”, reluctantly I worked up the courage to call her and she asked me straight away if we were moving overseas, I said yes. She told me “I will be coming to stay before you go” I told her that wouldn’t work, I have a lot on my plate preparing for the move and I would be lying if I said that a visit for her wouldn’t add more stress, she started to yell immediately asking “are you really so selfish that you can’t make time for your own mother?” I asked her to calm down and she said “now you’ve fucking done it, that’s it we’re done” and hung up, the whole call was less than two minutes and I hardly got a word in.
I couldn’t help it, I sat and cried for a while. As much distance as I have tried to put between us, hearing my mother speak to me that way still triggers this feeling inside of me and I revert back to this little child hiding in the corner of my room from my mom’s big feelings. I called her back and asked if we could talk calmly, my exact words were “I think your emotions are controlling you right now and I don’t want to leave things like that” unfortunately, she did not stay calm. She told me her heart was broken for me because one day my daughter would cut me off too and I’ll have regrets about the way I’ve treated my own mother, she said I am a my father’s surname through and through, that I’ve always been a selfish bitch who never thinks about anyone else’s feelings, she then told me to have a nice life (again) and that she never wants to speak to me again. She hung up after that.
I guess I just don’t know where to go from here. I feel sick and anxious and I’m not completely convinced that she won’t just turn up to my house anyway. The words “no-contact” sound so clear cut and linear but I feel like my journey has been anything but. Sometimes I think she’s right and I really am selfish for wanting distance, but accomodating her feelings constantly and mentally preparing for her next emotional tirade every few months is also affecting my ability to be present and healthy in my relationships with my own family.
I should mention that she has made no effort to take accountability for our relationship breakdown in the past 5 years. She will ask if I’m “over it yet” or resort to a disingenuous “fine, I was a terrible mother and I never did anything right” type of apology, she also laughed at me when I asked her to seek therapy if she wants any kind of real relationship in the future.
If you’ve read this far and you’re comfortable sharing, please tell me how you cope with the turbulence of no-contact or with emotionally immature parents in general. I would be so grateful to just know that I’m not alone in this.

My girlfriend doesn't like crowded or loud places, and we've always struggled to find cozy ones where we can chill and talk without being interrupted by loud music or people near us.
We even considered buying food and just chilling in the car, but we always struggle to find a good spot with a nice view and calm atmosphere. So, if you know any good spots, maybe near the beach or with a good, calm view, let me know.

I'm 25M, will turn 26 in October. I want to pursue the 5 year BA LLB course. I couldn't complete my education due to some family and financial issues.
As of now, I'm working in a pvt firm, a stable job and pretty chilled work life balance. Moreover my senior management always encourages me to study further. I've been provided with uncountable leaves (apart from the casual ones) for my graduation exams without deducting a single penny from my salary. Once I fell seriously ill and couldn't go to office for more than 3 months, I was given full salary during the period and advance salary for medical expenses (its a small pvt company consisting less than 100 people)
Currently I'm in 2nd year of BA Hons. (Political Science) from IGNOU. I'm also preparing for central and state civil services aong the exam. I've enrolled my sister in BA LLB course, she will be in 4th year this july. I also want to pursue the legal path and the management has promised to provide the fees in addition to my salary which I can repay in small installments.
I want to ask you all, should I go for it or complete my graduation and then join the 3 year course.
Thanks in advance.

I am fresh off the heels of finishing my first full campaign and I’m in love with this game. It partly took me so long because I was running multiple campaigns with friends and solo.
Minor spoilers for Act 3: My gripes really reached their peak when the final gathering of allies happened. A group of characters I’ve barely interacted with are all cheering while my other companions are just chilling at camp? The fact that these typically npc characters can but companions can’t be summoned for the final battle is so strange to me.
This could have been balanced by making the final battles more difficult if need be.
On top of that, I can’t help but wish that the companions had more to do if not recruited. This is done a little with Laezel and Shadowheart but Shadowheart has to be recruited and the other companions just disappear if not recruited. If Karlach, Wyll, or Gale aren’t recruited or leave camp they are never seen again and that’s just so disappointing. Even if they end up dead or succumbing to their “”inevitable”” fates I’d like to at least see where and surmise how they went out. Even if it’s seeing Wyll make it to Moonrise or Karlach make it to Gortash only to fall in battle due to the lack of powerful allies. Or perhaps they join forces and have a separate camp.
Companions should be able to romance each other. They flirt with each other all the time while traveling and I don’t see why not. This wouldn’t take much more effort aside from a couple extra lines of dialogue letting Tav know that they are betrothed to another or something. I enjoy Halsin and Gale’s character arcs but I don’t want them trying to fuck me every time I help them out. Even if I did, adding this option would allow me to have the best of both worlds. Romancing Halsin as Karlach and Gale as Astarion lol.
Overall, I would have preferred if companions felt EVEN more like individual characters rather than people who only exist in service of Tav. I’d go as far as adding the option to leave my own tav at camp if I want and just having a group of origin characters without having to select origin character from the jump. Make it so if a party dies in battle, the player then chooses who to play as in camp and they can either work to revive their fallen companions or move on without them.
Also, least hot take ever but no companion should be locked until halfway through act 3.
At the end of the day, BG3 is still a better game than I could have dreamed and in no way am I trying to undermine the herculean undertaking Larian had in crafting this experience. Still a 10/10 and one of my favorite games of all time. I just hate feeling like there is such missed potential even in something as great as BG3.

I have consuming, debilitating health (and death) anxiety! When I say consuming and debilitating, I mean it - BAD. Well, I knew Reddit was out here because of my Googling my symptoms. I joined and joined this community, and I finally realize that I’m not alone! I’m not alone in my anxiety or in my symptoms. And, you aren’t either!
With that said, mine started with panic in December 2022. I was having random, untriggered panic attacks. Throughout January 2023, I was having at max six in one day. It was exhausting. My doctor eventually got it under control with medicine by mid-February 2023. By October 2023, it started creeping back in as health anxiety (and sometimes panic). Now I have a fear of dying and leaving my family behind. Every little symptom, I feel like I’m knocking on death’s door. I get constant head pressure like someone is squeezing my temples, which makes me think I’m going to pass out, which makes me fear being alone. My husband is my safe place - I hate being anywhere without him. And I know I drive him nuts with my symptoms. I used to be able to take off, just my kids and I, for days at a time, but now I can’t - my health anxiety says I’m going to fall out and leave them stranded. I know I can start my medicine back up, but I have anxiety about that too. Every chest pain, I’m certain is a heart attack. Every abdominal pain, I’m certain is appendicitis or cancer or a ruptured hernia. It’s so tiring.
But, with that said, it has helped somewhat to see that I’m not alone in this. I don’t know why we have to go through it, but it has helped to see that we can help each other out. When one of us is spiraling, someone who isn’t can reach out with a comment to reassure. I love the support that I’ve seen in this community and just everyone banding together. We may not have it all together, but wow, what support we can provide each other whenever someone is spiraling in their health anxiety. Thank you, everyone!

When I was a kid, my neighbor would often mention that I have pretty hands. That leads me to look at my own hands and try to comprehend the compliment. It was perplexing. I could stare it for some time and yet, not a silver thought would spring that says "It's pretty". At some point, I understood and can "feel" what my neighbor said. I can say, "Yeah, they are pretty nice hands". There was a gap between the child me and grown-up me.
As I grow up, I keep noticing this pattern. If something's not ideal, something's missing. A distance from the ideal condition. Some gaps used to bother me, and I managed to fix it in some way. And there are some that probably will never get filled, but I've learned to live with it. I used to ponder upon the meaning of life, but I stopped thinking about it. These days, I ponder more upon what I want to do with my life. Hopefully, future me found something to fill the gap. If not, that's fine. Go wherever the wind blows.
Random things.
Work's been okay. Progressing here and there. Got deadlines this month, a bit nervous. Recently, I figured out how to replay network packets, it was exciting! Makes troubleshooting and testing easier since I can easily record network data and replay it without hardware access.
My colleague jokingly said that I have no life. I know he didn't mean any harm, but he's darn right lmao. I don't do much outside of work and my interests. It's public holiday next Monday, and I see many people going to their hometown and having a vacation. Someone invited me to Genting Highland. I would really like to go there, especially for the thrill rides (I'm an adrenaline junkie!) but gosh, I don't like the person who invited me. There was a part of me who say things like "Go for it, going out is a good thing to refresh your mind". So far, I only plan to stay at home and chill. And organize my never ending my to-do list, lol.
I remembered how I used to imagine a world in my mind, and sometimes it would collapse/behave erratically against my will. I just realized today that it's odd. I would just try to resist the change without questioning why it's happening. E.g. I would imagine chilling on an island, but the floor would start to behave gooey like honey, or fall into the void world beneath it.
When there's someone that I feel might leave a lasting impact on me or someone I feel comfortable enough with, I would create a note and write down things about them from time to time. There's this one person that I started writing about. They might be reading this right now >.< . Thanks for replying to my silly messages, I guess. You seem like a very nice person.
A few weeks ago, I reached 9000th days of being alive. Been that long, huh. Fascinating how I'm still alive. I wonder how long I could last.
Auroras are so beautiful. Its color is are pleasing to the eyes, dressing from rose pink to soothing blues. I love the smooth gradient, combined with curves. Perfect in being imperfect. It dances in the sky, truly a sight to behold. I want to hug the sky and eat it.
I was eating with my colleague. The restaurant owner received a small parcel. She initially walked towards me but changed her path towards my colleague to ask about the parcel. But then, my colleague pointed to me. I supposed my colleague's appearance of being older potrays an experienced person than I do. And/or I have a baby face :3 . Nothing to think much about, just an observation.
Thank you for taking your time to read my silly post. Have a nice day! 💕

Hi everyone, I recently hurt my left knee while doing a standing quadricep stretch last week (weight on left leg), I lost balance and tried to correct myself, I then heard a loud cracking sound from my inner left knee.
I am still able to put some weight on my leg, extend and compress my left leg with some minor to acute pain. I also get some minor muscle spasms around the quads on-top of my knee
I went to the physio ASAP, they did some stretching and cycling work, had some acute and dull pain afterwards. they recommended and MRI as they thought it may be serious.
I got my MRI report back recently, here are the results:
Clicking sensation inside left knee following stretching. Acute pains and dull ache when touched. Localises the pain anterior and posterior to the left knee joint both medial and lateral aspects in accompanying patient's data sheet.
Technique: Axial, sagittal and coronal proton density with and without fat saturation and additional coronal Tl of the left knee.
Findings: Extensive abnormal intrameniscal signal change in the body and posterior horn of the medial meniscus, but it does not appear to breach the superior or inferior borders of the meniscus to indicate frank tear and it does not extend to involve the medial third of the meniscus.
Posterior root and meniscocapsular attachment posterior horn medial meniscus remain intact and normal. Medial compartment cartilage quite well maintained. Anterior and posterior cruciate ligaments intact.
Lateral meniscus and lateral compartment cartilage well maintained. Popliteus tendon and posterolateral corner structures appear intact. Tibial and fibular collateral ligaments intact and normal.Patellofemoral joint cartilage well maintained. Reasonably formed trochlea notch of the distal femur. Medial and lateral patella retinaculum appear normal. Slightly more than physiological amount of joint fluid. No Baker's cyst is seen. Insall-Salvati ratio 1 .1 and normal. Patellar tendon signal normal. No retropatellar or Hoffa's fat pad oedema is seen. Quadriceps tendon appears within normal limits.
Conclusion: No evidence of patellar tendinopathy. Abnormal signal in the body and posterior horn medial meniscus, more extensive than simple degenerative intrameniscal signal change, but does not breach the superior or inferior border of the meniscus to indicate frank tear. Might nevertheless be producing symptoms. No other potential cause for the knee symptoms identified.
By reading this report, I'm not certain if it's a strain, minor injury to the medial meniscus or something else and seeking further clarification.
I am a 27 year old male, 5'10 roughly 79kgs, a little out of shape. Weak core, tight glutes and hamstrings. Also weak lumbar back due to recent back injury.
Also seeking guidance, supplements and exercises to increase my chances of a optimal and quick recovery.
This has also taken a toll on my mental health as well as my recent back injury.
Appreciate any advice.

Hey everyone, I don't expect anyone to reply to this as it'll probably be shrouded by the other posts. Just needed somewhere to write it all down.
My life has never been good. I've had moments of happiness, even for extended periods of time, but never for longer than a few months at most. I grew up in a horrible environments in and out of CPS where my Mum finally got custody of me at age 3, after I remained in a foster home for around 6 months. My Mom tried so hard for me, even until she won her court case against my birth Father. Until I was around 12, I was raised in a fairly normal environment by myself. Most of my childhood I never endured abuse or anything like that. It wasn't until I was 12, shit got real. At that age, people deemed my problems invalid because I was so young and "it couldn't be that bad" or "other people have it worse". I could never tell my Mum because I didn't want to dissapoint her and make it seem like all her efforts were for naught. As such, I sat alone with my problems, occasionally talking to people online, but nothing helped. When I turned 13, I discovered herbal cigarettes for the first time. I would roll a herb (usually something that produced a relaxing effect or a minor hallucinagen) and smoke it on my porch when my parents weren't home. After I first tried it, I told myself, "It was a good stress reliever, but I'm not gonna do this again. It's bad for me." This cycle repeated daily for around a month. Eventually, my parents found out. Despite my worries, they weren't mad. But the dissapointment in my Mum's eyes were unreal.
This was the moment where I first lost my parents trust.
Eventually, I stopped, as my parents hid everything away from me. Because of this I never wanted to be at my house, so I was with a new group of "friends: I had made. There was this one guy, who I'll name John. John shared a lot of my common interests, and would talk to me during class and we'd hang out at the centre of our city pretty often, just us two messing around and having fun, like a bunch of 8th grade boys. This lasted for a few months. I had one of the best birthdays ever with him. Around a month afterwards, this man somehow tricked me into sending nudes to him. I'm a straight man. I thought this was another one of his jokes and we'd be chill afterwards.
I was wrong.
The next day, I went to school surrounded by weirded stares and comments on the situation. I knew then, that I seriously fucked up bad. I somehow got myself out of the situation by saying it wasn't me, but my friendship with John was diminished. Despite this, he was the only friend I actually hung out with consistently after that. I dealt with his remarks in the times in the future, which grew more and more consistent as the times went on. I knew I had to let him go after he told my principle that I had a weapon on me for self defense (which basically everyone in my city does), which nearly led to me being suspended. Eventually, I abandoned him all together, and ran with whatever little amount of pride I had left. I fell into a huge state of depression after this. Even my online friends didn't want me anymore. Someone had accused me of being a pedophile and falsified screenshots. I had no one.
One day, after school, a friend who I wasn't particularly close with wanted to hang out with me after school. He mentioned his parents had a cabinet full of alcohol.
Seeing no danger with this, I accepted without hesitation. This was my first experience with alcohol. I got wasted with him, and for the first time in months, my worries washed away. Eventually, this became a weekly occurance. I would tell my parents I was going to the park, but instead I would get drunk with my friend. This soon became the only way I could live without stress. Around this time, I became closer with an acuqainted friend and his friend group, who we'll call Terry and his friends. Terry was a chill guy. We didn't share all the same interests, but he liked me for who I was. He didn't care about my past. I became closer with his friends, too. Eventually this became my new friend group. Around the time I formed this new friend group, I stopped going drinking with my other friend. Not because I didn't want to, but because he stopped pestering me to hang out with him like he did the months before. Instead, the roles were reversed at that point. Me and this friend group started hanging out more, and more, and more.
During this time, I met my first love. It was online, but it felt like the best thing in the world. We were young, and stupid. She was beautiful. I remember first talking to her on the phone on the plane ride to my Uncle's wedding. I decided to myself that I really liked this girl. I wanted her more than anything. I remember she was the only thing I dedicated myself for. Something I felt was worth being there for. I finally felt like I had some worth for the first time in forever. I should mention this was slightly before the drinking thing. We talked, we called, we loved for two whole weeks. Towards the end, I made the stupid mistake of telling her that "if I didn't meet her I probably would've killed myself". This wasn't entirely true. I was depressed before talking to her, but I don't think I was suicidal. However, this seemed to be a problem for her. Apparently, she felt trapped. Thus, she left me. I remember having to hide my heartbreak from my parents. I shortly got over it, however, and met a new girl from my school. I realize now I didn't love her, I loved the idea of being in a relationship. I remember joking to my ex about how bad my girtlfriend at the time was. After a while, she found out I was following other girls on instagram. I denied it at first, but discovered it was an opportunity to pin a breakup on her not trusting me enough, so I used that reason and dumped her. She later told the whole school I was unloyal (which I wasn't, I didn't even talk to the girls I followed). She proceeded to post shitty photos of me on her tiktok account. I remember being fuming. If sonething so small was the worst of my problems now, I would be blissful happy right now. A few weeks afterwards, I got back with my first ex. This time, it was one sided. After just over a month, I began to look at girls in my class with desire. I completely broke it off with my ex, telling her I didn't love her anymore. Years later, I still regret this decision. She accepted this, and we remained friends. Every time I felt lonely, I would talk to her again, and we would begin talking like we were together again. This repeated for around 6 months. We kept talking until around a few months ago, where I discovered she blocked me out of nowhere. I believe it was out of respect for her new boyfriend, which I respect.
After we had broken it off for the final time, I began spending time outside of school with my new friend group. Slowly, we began to hang out more and more. I even found a new girlfriend, which I had found off of quick add on snapchat, lol. Around Christmas, things went downhill. My friends asked a personal question, which was whether my girlfriend had sent me explicit pictures (i thought it would make me sound cooler if I said yes), but then they caught me in the lie, and they immediately lost trust for me. I saw the same look in their eyes as I saw in my Mother. Distrust. I tried to salvage the friendship, but I new it wouldn't be the same ever again. It still isn't. I saw the cycle repeat itself. Like last time, I left my girlfriend because I lost interest. I began to become depressed again. I started vaping and drinking to escape the pain. I didn't care as much about my looks anymore. I remember having one of the worst heartbreaks of my life afterwards. I told myself I wouldn't date ever again. I still hung out with my friends, but we all knew inside that we didnt care for each other as much as we acted. For around a month, I lived life in a cycle. A depressed cycle. One day, I caught a glimpse of a girl in my class who was exactly my type in a woman, physically and mentally. I knew she was far too good for me. I barely talked to her, and didn't have her on any social media. I eventually got the courage one afternoon to add her on snapchat, after one of my friends gave me her snap. This was after a mutual friend informed me that she found me attractive, which I didn't buy. The night I added her, we talked, and I rememebr playing games with her and her friends. It was one of the best nights I've ever had. I fucked up my sleep sdchedule just to speak to her longer. I got to know her more, and more. She was the most beautiful and perfect girl in the world. My eternal bliss lasted for a week. I had ordered flowers to ask her out with and I had the whole thing planned out with her friends. I remember going to my first work shift, and coming home, and getting a message from her:
"Hey, I think I'm lesbian. It's not your fault, I promise. I'm so sorry."
I was heartbroken, I kept tryna suffocated myself over and over again. I asked her why, what her thought process was. She eventually tired of my questions and she said that I was being a dick about it. I ended up sending her a message later that day telling her that I was sorry for being a dick about it (I still don't know what I did wrong). I didn't go to school the next day. I remember avoiding her hard for the whole rest of the school term. I was insanely depressed afterwards, the worst I've ever felt. she was the best thing that ever happened to me. I tried weed for the first time afterwards, it was mesmerising. It nearly compared to the feeling of being with her. But it was only a temporary escape. As the weeks went on, I became more and more depressed. Then, my parents found out I smoked weed, and my own mother told the police (I still dont know if thats morally right and im overthinking it) and my whole family found out and now hates me. I'm scheduled to see them tomorrow. I'm being illegally overowkred by my job, and I can;t do anything about it. I didn;t show up today, I'm probably already fired. I tried a cigarette today, it was one last thing I wanted to know before I pass. I went to one last convension today, and asked God for a sign to keep living. I ended up meeting a girl, asking for her number, and she gave me her insta and messaged me "You really thought I'd date you? Not tryna be mean".
In three hours, it'll turn midnight. I'll go to a store, find nitrous oxide, and overdose on that. Asphyxiation isn't that painful. I have nothing at all.

For me, it has to be the Szarr ambient music. I usually don’t care about ambient songs, but this one does such a fantastic job at creating a desolate, hopeless atmosphere. Especially since it has wisps of motifs, but nothing ever takes root into a melody. It’s lifeless.
But what really makes the song a masterpiece are the vocals. They start off very faint until they grow louder and descend, literally leading you to the horrors below the palace. It’s some ingenious story telling that leaves me with chills.

I do work from home remote jobs online and can work however much or little I want whenever I want to. So long as I can make money having fun on stake I can just chill until I need to grind some more. Its so nice to be able to make a living online without having to commute or deal with annoying people.
All while consistently adding more and more to my BTC offline cold storage retirement plan. 🤑

Hello!
I (25f) am writing this because I truly don’t know where else to turn and would like to know if someone has seen this or experienced this before.
About 2 months ago, behind my right ear randomly swelled up significantly. It was very puffy and tender to the touch. I went to a rapid clinic and she diagnosed me with an outer ear infection and prescribed me some drops, the swelling and infection eventually went down. As that was healing, my throat started to get progressively more sore and red, mostly on the right side. It started to really bother me so after about 3 weeks I went back to the clinic. I was tested for the flu (negative) and strep throat (negative). I was told it was probably allergies and to start taking Claritin and to wait for it to start raining more for it to go away. I did this for 4 weeks to no avail.
Eventually, the pain gets so bad I schedule an appointment with my GP. The lymph node on the right side of my neck gets very swollen and uncomfortable as well. I get tested for strep and the test is “faintly positive”. The doctor showed me the test but honestly I’m not sure what I was looking at. Anyways, I get prescribed a course of Amoxicillin, which does little to nothing to alleviate my symptoms. I then get put on Azithromycin, which seemed to help a little bit, but not completely. After I was done with that course, things just got right back to where they were. I went back to the doctor, got retested for strep, covid, flu, etc and was negative for everything. I was told to gargle with saltwater and to give it some time, but I feel like I have given it 2 months of time! She did say it was weird that it was only on one side.
I am wondering if anyone has ANY ideas or has seen this before? I’m not sure if I should be advocating for myself harder, as this pain is getting to be pretty intense. I know I should stay away from Dr. Internet, but I haven’t found anything like this on there, and anything I do find is suggesting it to be throat cancer. I’m trying not to go worst case scenario, but genuinely am at a loss for what this could be. I requested a referral to an ENT, but in the meantime I feel pretty uneasy.

Hiya!
I wanted to come in and write a post about my MA experience 2 weeks post pills.
I took my first dose at 5 weeks and 6 days with fear of the pain and sickness I read so many experience. When I placed the next dose of pills vaginally, I was so nervous as I experience some terrible period cramps on a norm and didn’t want this to be like that.
What I can say is, wow is it easier than expected. My best advice is to eat plain food the day before and the day during. No artificial sugars, no greasy food, just plain easy to digest food. I do this on a regular month before I get my period and I feel like it tremendously helps with my period cramps so doing this for my MA felt smart.
It took about 2.5 hours before any bleeding started. Actually - I felt like it was late and was about to seek help before something came out. From here it was like a full river escaped me (the gush is real). I typically have light periods so this was shocking! At the worst of the cramps I would give the pain a 6/10 and I mean this was the WORST. Nothing ibuprofen and paracetamol didn’t help, I took about 800mg of ibuprofen and 500mg of paracetamol about an hour before I started anything.
Heating pad is a MUST. I don’t think I could have done this without. I unfortunately didn’t have my partner with me during this so I was worried about being alone but I had my friend on speed dial in case of emergency, to be honest it was kind of nice to just be dwelling in my own misery.
Cramps ended about after day 2, after what I feel was the passing of the pregnancy, the cramps started to fade with sometimes popping back up and then going. The bleeding began to stop after day 4.
Here I am 2 weeks after and from time to time I will bleed brown and pass a clot but with no pain. It’s like not often enough to continuously wear a pad but enough to be weary. I have one week to go until I can take my pregnancy test again but honestly when they say “symptoms going down like the feeling of feeling pregnant” it’s true. I didn’t have many symptoms to begin with part from sore breasts and slight cramping (and being very very emotional) but I can’t believe how much BETTER I feel! I feel very confident this worked and that everything went smoother than expected.
I write this for anyone else going through this for their first time! I honestly didn’t think I could become pregnant and after years of BC I stopped it and followed the flo app for my ovulation days. TIP - don’t do this 😂. I’m now back on the pill and feel much better to just have this out of the way.
The whole process was legit easier than a monthly period.
Good luck to those having to go through this! You can do it!

Upgrading from a tiny 4-liter cooler to the Cooluli 20 Liter Mini Fridge, this reviewer found it to be just as impressive! Originally using the 4-liter on road trips for perfectly chilled Redbull (and even for heating water bottles for mini-showers while camping!), the need for more space led them to this larger version.
Living with 5 roommates, a personal mini-fridge was a must-have, and the Cooluli 20 Liter Mini Fridge [Cooluli 20 Liter Mini Fridge] fit the bill perfectly. Not only is it functional in their room, but its portability allows them to take it anywhere. They were particularly impressed with the fridge's ability to reach temperatures as low as 15 degrees Fahrenheit, making it ideal for keeping drinks (including alcohol!) nice and cold. While there's a faint hum at night, it's only noticeable during complete silence and doesn't disrupt sleep. Overall, this reviewer recommends the Cooluli 20 Liter Mini Fridge [Cooluli 20 Liter Mini Fridge] for anyone who needs a portable fridge for various locations, travel, or simply wants a personal fridge with a surprising amount of storage for food and drinks. Plus, its sleek design is a major bonus!
https://fridgesreviews.com/cooluli-20-liter-mini-fridge-review/

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PRs: u/anakist & u/BroDogIsMyName
- - - - -
Ceele strolled through the damp grass along the outskirts of the village, a spring in her step and the dwindling scent of dew following behind. It rained yesterday, which had prevented her from going out to gather supplies, but the mild morning air had been accommodating enough for her to get an early start and make the trip. She was glad she did.
One hand clutched her new prize to her chest, while the other held a fraying wicker basket filled with herbs and some edible roots she gathered by exploring the forbidden forest. Despite her reservations regarding where she chose to go, her excitement now lingered like a steady thrum of shifting stones, giving her energy that defied how long she had been walking. She all but pranced beneath the burgeoning night's sky, gleefully toeing the line between the dirt pathways of the settlement’s outskirts and the trees of unclaimed land. Normally, her path back home would never be so close to the village, but she was far too gleeful to mind. She had come back with a sense of fulfillment and a rare object—or if not rare, then hopefully of great value.
It was hard to point to any one specific reason that she came across the orb. There had always been a ‘draw’ during her travels, urging her that there was something missing in her life, yet it was no more than a mild whim to walk in a particular direction more often than not. Once she reached this part of the continent, she was compelled to wander, never quite able to explain why she obliged the sensation besides having nowhere in particular to be. Even when she finally settled somewhere, it stayed in the back of her mind, suggesting that she was close to whatever would make the pit of vacancy go away. She ignored it, purposefully distracting herself with her work and responsibilities, yet that could only last so long. When she awoke this morning with plans to resupply, and all of her newfound spots had been picked clean by wildlife, she turned to the depths of the forest where she was warned not to tread. It was all too easy to follow the subtle tug in her chest through the loose justification.
The urge to be somewhere grew unbearable with every step closer to the forbidden area. That sense of having a direction she needed to go became stronger and stronger, until she was well into land long since forgotten. She came across an overgrown depression in the hillside, and was entranced by the foreboding image. Something about the cave just…beckoned her. She was far too weak to resist.
Horrible tales echoed into her ears as whispers of fearful voices, warning and unending, yet but a dull drone compared to her hammering heart. She navigated the trees and brushed aside unkempt vines, stepping into the cavern with a mix of expectation and trepidation, then laid eyes on the small obsidian stone perched atop a crumbling pillar. The feeling of needing to travel somewhere…stopped.
The pull was absent, which was why she held the orb close instead of placing it into her basket. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but she recalled overheard tales of hidden gemstones, deep cavernous expanses, and the untold terrors that lay within. Comparing the scenes of those fables to the cave seemed foolish now; it wasn’t some torturous chamber, but a dusty depression in a small hillside. Besides, anything this pretty was sure to be worth a fair sum, and she needed the coin. Yet the thought of selling the precious-looking stone was a conflicting one. She shook off the thought for the time being, turning her attention back towards where she was going.
Shadows stretched and faded as the moon stole the last of the illumination afforded by the sun, replacing it with a calming glow that caressed the log frames and thatched roofs of various homes. A star-filled sky came into prominence as clouds lazily drifted away, revealing the promise of tomorrow’s fair-weathered arrival. It was too late for anyone to notice her treading on the edge of their town while lost in thought, but she was still careful not to get too close to the houses or livestock pens where people might be finishing the evening’s duties. It was best that they didn’t see her returning from a place she was told not to go. Still, her feet carried her near the dwellings as she took in the noises.
Ceele enjoyed the comforting chatter from a distance. Indistinct words floated freely. Meaningless gossip and warm goodbyes were exchanged between friends and family. Places of various occupations were dark and quiet, only the faint contented mewls and clucks of livestock coming from their pastures as they ate what was recently put out for them. No metal rang throughout the streets as it was struck inside a centralized smithy, no heated bartering came from an overactive trade house, and the crunch of dirt beneath transport or merchant wagons was absent, replaced by the rapid steps and yelps of children rushing to their homes before it got too dark out. It was all just gentle conversation and life drifting through the wind, taking the rustle of leaves along for the ride, just so she could hear it. Tranquil, in a word.
She wondered what it would sound like if she were yet one more voice within that crowd of kindness. Would it be loud like the larger cities? Would she struggle to maintain a thought with so many stray topics floating about? Would she once more yearn for the peace and quiet of solitude that she had grown used to, or would she immerse herself, free of judgment and laughing like the carefree young that scampered about? Did thinking about it even matter?
Her smile fell from its genuine intensity—still worn, but not as fully. She glanced downward as her stride lost its jubilant bounce, her tail losing its sway as her grey eyes examined the dry black scales that adorned her body against her wishes. It was the ugly hue of tarnished oil, unlike the skin of any other kobold she had met. Some had reds or greens, yellows or whites, while most were between a sandy tan or earthen brown. The rainbow of peculiarities was displayed by the lucky few, and she was one of them…
…Yet she was different in the worst of ways.
Even if she would rather any other colour, she supposed it was that way to make sure no one came near without accepting the unspoken risks. That was what her mother always said, anyway, though the woman hardly feared much of anything in her old age, and dedicated herself to giving her offspring all the love she had left to give—a perk of living a full life. She would always help her daughter bathe, complimenting the colour of what most were unnerved by. That was more than a decade ago now, however. Ceele’s parents had passed on while she was still young, and she took to travelling not long after, working at what she could to afford what little she needed. Never for long, though—just enough to get to the next town between where she was and where the urge to go lay. There were certainly moments she looked back on fondly, but the journey had taken its toll.
The crude material of her ‘dress’ was coarse, old, and heavy, but it helped ease the worst of spring's chill—even if it was more of a modified sack than proper attire. Still, it was all she had after the last of her clothing fell apart, and giving the repurposed material a name that reminded her of something else made it less uncomfortable to wear, somehow. It would have to do until she could afford a pitying seamstress or the like. Until then, she would pretend she didn’t look so desperate, even if it only highlighted her status and made finding work difficult.
But it did. The dishevelled garment was a far cry from the wonderful silks or breathtaking designs she had seen some women wear, harshly marking the distinction between herself and those of affluence. The clothing of commoners was also a leap in style and quality, so she couldn't say her attire was up to even modest standards. No matter how hard she squinted, and no matter how much she fantasized otherwise, she seemed every bit like the vagrant she was, down to the soil embedded in the curvature of her claws and the stains throughout her fabrics. She looked like a serf from the more oppressed lands, yet they too wore crude cottons, which said a lot about how she appeared to those who had never lived a life of servitude. It was obvious that she was an outsider. That she didn't belong amongst the rest. It made changing something as simple as her appearance all the more difficult; prospective employment always saw a young woman who seemed more likely to steal or swindle than make an honest day’s living.
There was one good twist of fate in recent memory, however, and she came upon the result of it after leaving the slowing bustle of the village behind. Her steps carried her through a small copse of trees on the outskirts of town, the small shaded path leading to the back of a large, carefully pruned clearing, a scattering of fruit-bearing trees providing even darker shadow than the already dim moonlight. She skirted along the aging fence on the border that kept predatory animals away, carefully hoisting herself over the barrier where a large vegetable garden she was responsible for tending resided. If one were to tell her she would be living in such an area several months ago, she would have smiled politely and walked away, yet here she was.
A modest, warmly lit home occupied the middle of the clearing, sitting front and centre when one approached from the village path. It looked quite cozy, surrounded by berry bushes that were just beginning to bloom as the last dregs of winter slipped away. A front patio displayed a nice table and well-loved chairs, the rustic appearance only adding to its charm as a place where friends and family spent the warm summer afternoons. A smithy to the left of the house functioned as an additional heated building during the colder months, but usually served as a storefront and to muffle the sounds of hammered iron, though that had become less common. An old stable was nearby, close enough to be accessible, but not so close as to disturb the once occupying animals with sounds of iron craft. It hadn't seen a horse in quite some time, apparently, so it was mostly a workshop for whatever tasks didn’t require fire or metal.
There was a long history attached to each little detail—from the scuffs along the wooden siding to the depressions in the ground where daily routine wore into the earth. Every fault suffered throughout the years was matched by a thousand quirks that made it feel welcoming, like the house itself was merely waiting for the next friendly face with one of its own. She knew that the inside of each building would look just as cared for.
Her concern lay outside, however. It was a comparatively miniscule space just barely visible through the sheltering trees, true, yet it was where her efforts turned into tangible results, and where a stranger’s trust was painstakingly repaid. Once overgrown grass had been laboriously trimmed, the weeds plucked and disposed of, and now nothing distracted from what she could claim she had done.
The small plots of rock-bordered soil had little buds of growing vegetables, a sense of pride never failing to bloom in her breast with the knowledge that it would be barren without her touch. When her troubles and concerns grew heavy, and fears of the future or spectres of the past loomed over her head, she could look at where she had brought life where it wouldn't otherwise be. Some days, that was enough. She smiled in appreciation at what was admittedly amateur work, the night’s sky helping to hide any inevitably made mistakes.
She enjoyed the sight for a moment longer, then turned to walk towards a neglected old tool shed that was well out of sight within the trees, far away from whatever warmth and comfort the larger house offered to everyone and anyone. She put a hand on the degrading wood of the entryway, giving one last sad smile at the garden as she dismissed selfish thoughts of taking the eventual harvest for herself. A breath cleared the uncertainty from her voice, and she pushed open the door.
“I'm home!”
= = = = =
It took a while for Altier to adjust to his situation, and even once he accepted that his mana wasn't being siphoned, he was still reeling from confusion. He had spent centuries with every year passing by without his notice, yet now he was painfully aware of each creeping second languidly dragging on with the expediency of growing grass. It was as disorienting as it was painfully nostalgic.
Time was something he was never good with, and it only got worse as a dungeon. He'd get lost in creating rooms, corridors, creatures, and whatever else needed doing, only pausing to watch or listen to the few adventurers he became interested in. There was a stint where he spent what felt like hours agonizing over new abilities or options while he let the system manage things in the background, though he supposed it might have been much longer. So many wasted days, yet he still hadn't managed to try everything he had gained access to. Some abilities were simply too niche, came with concerning titles, or held descriptions that made him wary. Anything with ‘Decay’ in the name was instantly ignored—he didn't need more reasons to fear his affinity, and from the few he took the effort to read through, they were always vile.
But his existence for the moment was no longer like those endless stretches spent pondering the minutiae of what would help his adventurers grow stronger. Now, he could follow the rhythmic sounds of footsteps and steady breathing that set a calming pace. They were someone else's, yes, but they contextualized how easy it was to slip away without the subtle noises of life that he had long since surrendered to help his family. Of course, there were more differences that he noticed since being removed from his crumbling cavern, and his sight was the newest change.
He never gave much thought to how far he could see before. Why would he? As a man, his world extended as far as he could fathom, yet was also confined to the room where he spent his days, and as a dungeon… Well, who was he to consider distance when an event happening miles away could be seen with a flicker of thought? Nothing was too far when it was within his creation. Or his ‘body,’ he supposed. Sadly, his entire perception currently consisted of the small sphere of his obsidian core, and maybe a finger's length beyond it—which is to say, not much. He could make out the fine details in the dirty burlap he was held against, and how pale moonlight slowly took over the blurred reds of sunset, but hardly anything more. It was all just frosted colours after a certain point, and he found it infinitely frustrating. He just wanted to peer beyond the haze and scaly hand holding him to confirm that the sky he remembered was still there. Alas, the sunlight faded at too quick a pace, yet one oh so agonizingly slow.
The ensuing darkness gave him nothing to do but think about where he was, not that he had any ideas. He was too curious about why he wasn't dead to bother much with his blurry surroundings after the soft-spoken kobold abducted him, thus why he only belatedly noticed how limited his worldview had become. There might have been a forest beyond his cave, but the greens and browns were gone, and the sounds of steps through brush was replaced by the distant din of a village. An idle curiosity pondered if he would recognize any descents of his ‘family tradition’ adventurers there, but he was being carried by what most considered a monster, so likely not.
That short musing was short-lived, however, and he brought his focus back to the matter at hand. He supposed he was being taken somewhere specific, but that was an obvious deduction, considering he was taken at all. The why of the matter was less so; for what purpose would someone want a Decay-aligned core? He hadn’t heard of them before…well, before he was made into one, but he couldn’t imagine many uses. Maybe he was being sold? His…kidnapper? His sudden companion seemed rather pleased by their discovery of him, so that might be the case, and it was morbidly amusing to think that a frail, sickly young man might one day become a coveted, highly valuable item. His abduction could also be a part of some cult’s nefarious activities, but he didn't want to think about that too hard. He experienced enough odd ceremonies from the adventurers who took the time to tell him their tales.
Either way, he wasn't in the dungeon anymore, and he couldn’t see where he was going. He tried to query his menu to glean an answer, but was met with a scrambled mess he suspected read ‘Synchronizing…’ and little else. It gave him a headache trying to make sense of it—which he didn't know was possible anymore—so he dismissed the text and distracted himself with blurs from whatever diluted senses he still had. There wasn’t much to observe other than the constant footfalls and the flicker of shadows on his companion’s burlap garment. They might have travelled through brush again, but it was too dark to really say for certain.
Eventually, there was something new. He heard an old latch rattle and rusted door hinges groan, then a shuddered clack that confirmed he was now in a building. His kobold acquaintance gently cooed at something before moving about the nearly pitch-black space, finally setting him down on a… He wasn’t sure what it was, besides old and wooden.
[D$#@m$n E@$*ded]
The headache from before became a blinding migraine that suffocated him under a flash-flood of suffering. Seconds passed in abject torture until it blissfully abated, the mental blinks clearing his mind enough to notice a change in his existence. Specifically, he could actually see something besides the rotting wood grain he was placed on top of.
And it wasn’t anything promising…
He was more or less in the centre of a room no bigger than twelve paces by maybe ten. Not a terrible size for a space, but it was clearly never meant to house someone. His resting place looked about as neglected as he surmised; it was an upturned feeding trough, he supposed, since calling it a table seemed too generous. The surface was rife with holes and degraded iron, so it was something that once saw regular use before being replaced and tossed into storage, never to see the light of day again.
Actually, most things in the room seemed to fit that description. The window shutters were installed with metal hinges that had since rusted them closed, the misalignment letting in a draft—and whatever weather was outside as well, most likely. A poorly carved bowl sat on the floor, the stain beneath it hinting that it collected any rainwater that slowly dripped from the leaky roof. The wooden floorboards looked old, splintered, and in need of maintenance or replacement, though an effort had been put into abrading it somewhat smooth lately.
A tiny and decrepit fireplace was to the left of the door upon entry, its brickwork slowly crumbling due to weathering and age. It was sized more for keeping the room warm during mild days than to keep away the frigid chill of night. Its base only held cold ashes, but there was a collection of deadwood and scraps nearby, so that would probably be rectified soon. A small wheel-less cart had been turned into storage against the opposite wall, some herbs and other foraged items stowed away in it for future use. Various things he remembered seeing his father and brothers use in the fields were scattered about, too. It was nostalgic to see, honestly, even if his recollections had blurred over time.
Bundles of tattered blankets formed a pair of nests in the far corner, the smaller of the two had a pile of rough plants nearby. That answered his silent pondering of the room's purpose somewhat, though he was pretty sure the bedding material was salvaged, and there didn’t seem to be any hay or padding underneath whoever was sleeping on it. He didn’t know what to think about the weeds; they were purposefully placed there, and whoever did so had taken the time to wash them, but it was still strange.
He couldn’t see a doorway besides the entrance, yet most of the hallmarks of residency were put where space could be afforded, however crude. All in all, he surmised that it was a gardening shed of sorts, and his new acquaintance apparently lived here. He wasn't sure what he was expecting when a creature he had only read about came into his dungeon, but it wasn't being brought to a rundown and decrepit shack for unknown purposes.
Even if he had been raised by parents who made a humble living at the best of times, and they had emptied their coffers for unsuccessful attempts to ease his ailments, his acquaintance's living space made him uncomfortable. His family's house was never anything fancy, true—it shared some of the worn qualities that inevitably gathered over the years—but it was never this bad. His home benefited from a father's touch keeping it robust and a mother’s love keeping it warm, whereas this place had seen neither in quite some time. Oh, there was evidence that such was once the case; a wall was adorned with carefully made and well-spaced hangers for the various gardening tools, though the implements themselves had become a victim of neglect. That being said, he could make out the fresh soil and recent scratches exposing furrows of silver, so they were seeing use again.
A scrape and clack of flint drew his attention to his kobold companion. They were kneeling in front of the fireplace, methodically sparking life back into a dead flame with twigs and dried leaves. A slow, steady breath into the reddened base illuminated its face with a dull orange glow, revealing its weary visage and the permanently etched smile that rested beneath its cold grey eyes. The black-scaled kobold looked tired, if he were to guess—much the same as Altier did when he spent countless days watching everyone living a life he could never have through the mossy window of his bedroom. He was probably humanizing it too much. Still, he was surprised by the muted pang of sympathy, and how he would feel much more than blithe curiosity after spending so much time alone in the crumbling crypt of his own making.
A mental breath cycled through him as he looked at the odds and ends yet to be observed. Hardly anything else was of note—everything else was degraded and neglected, too. He did notice a nest of blankets move though, which was as good a distraction as any. The answer to his previous ‘pile of weeds’ inquiry poked a tiny nose from a crease in the fabric, then rapidly pawed at the blankets to dig itself out. Altier stared at the creature in both recognition and confusion.
It was a rabbit…or at least it looked like one, assuming you were to also describe a porcupine and a sea urchin as well. He was pretty sure he didn’t remember any hare that had jagged metal-tipped fur, nor that had said fur arranged into a row of spiked horns that flowed down its spine, terminating at a large fluffy tail, which was equally bizarre to see. The whole of its coat could double as a weapon, with semi-sharp barbs sticking off seemingly at random, yet he remembered an adventurer saying most animals used that sort of thing defensively. He increased his focus as he tried to make sense of the odd creature. Surely he would have heard about—
[Hoppittttttt#%%÷ — Ferro-o-orabbit-it (Ma%$le)
Abil—]
[Null]
[Er0Rrrrrrrr—]
[Und#$f—]
He bit back the pain caused by the sudden intrusion of his menu, blanking out the text and mentally retreating to hide from the source. Did he just inspect something? How? Shouldn’t his entire…‘framework,’ was it…? Yes, that was it. Shouldn’t that have been corrupted? Why could he see the creature’s information when his entire framework was damaged? That was the first ability he lost, so why is it the first to be functional? How was it functional? Was it? It did just spit garbled text at him, but it was something, and that was more than he had gotten from it in a very long time. If it was somehow working—no matter how poorly—then that left the question of why he hadn't heard of anything called a ‘ferrorabbit’ before, assuming he read that correctly.
A soft thud vibrated the tro— table, startling him out of thought. He turned his attention to the button nose wiggling erratically at him, the short, stubby muzzle leading to surprisingly expressive and curious red eyes. Dull brown fur jutted off in random tufts and patches, changing to a darker tint on its paws and the upper half of its ears, while the tips of its spikes were a muted hue of iron. It still seemed just as soft as the less pointed variety he remembered, if a touch dirty. Upright ears twitched this way and that way as its head vigorously shook, eventually settling on pointing in his direction when it calmed down enough.
It was apparent that he had its undivided attention…for all of a few seconds. His scaly companion called something out in their foreign tongue, and whatever conclusion the pointy-furred animal came to, it seemed more interested in the kobold, parting from him after nudging his core with its nose.
[Cre-e-e—]
[Errrrrrr0r: Undefiiiiiiii—]
[Acceeeeep-t-t-t??]
[Yeeee— s s / Nnnnnnn—]
He winced at the intrusion, but the contents detracted from the pain. He couldn’t remember the system ever asking him a question without his explicit intent being involved. It wanted him to…accept something? Was it the system prompting him, or the animal? What was he to accept?
[Creatuuuuu—]
[Acce-e-e-%#@ed!]
…What?
= = = = =
“Hoppit, that's not food!” Ceele admonished half-heartedly, placing a larger branch on the burgeoning flame before she got to her feet. She wasn’t actually that worried; the stone was as big as his head, and she was pretty sure he couldn't bite into it. Hopefully. “Come here, momma has a treat for you!”
The ferrorabbit playfully bumped the gemstone and jumped off the low table, landing with a soft thud that belied how heavy he was for his tiny size. He wiggled in excitement, his ears flailing and releasing a slight clack whenever the two connected. It got even louder when she grabbed her basket and put away the useful herbs, taking out a specific item that she had gathered just for him. The little bun wasted no time in scurrying over and standing tall on his hind legs to judge if the offered plant was to his liking—and it was, based on how he dug in with enthusiasm. She stifled a laugh as she contentedly watched him nibble away on the treat, ignoring the guilt that came with knowing she couldn't afford proper vegetables for him. He had a hard life too, and it tore at her to have so little to give.
She came across Hoppit a year ago, during a storm that worsened while she was travelling between towns. The day had darkened to night in spite of it still being about noon, but the weather didn't care for how bright it was supposed to be. Wind and rain became a typhoon, forcing her to seek shelter in a thankfully abandoned den of what was probably a larger animal. She was fine with waiting out the squall, since the stone roof over her head was more than she usually had back then, but the sounds of dull bangs and thuds near her hideaway was followed by cries of animals yelping in pain. Curiosity won over reason, and she left the safety of her shelter to see what was causing the disturbance. Truthfully, she was hopeful that she'd come across scraps or the like, her hunger driving her forward, and she could always turn back if it seemed dangerous. Yet when she arrived at the source of the commotion, she found herself thinking of anything but food.
Two predators had fought over a small burrow, both trying to dig out a meal and taking offence to the other doing the same. What they didn’t know was that they were assaulting the home of ferrorabbits. Specifically, the home of an angry, protective, and well-fed mother that was keeping her newborns safe from the storm when predators decided to try their luck. From the scene Ceele came across, it was certainly obvious why most people dislike trying to hunt the creatures.
Sadly, the rabbit didn't survive an attack from two predators, but she did make their victory pyrrhic; neither could do much about their hunger with their bodies full of cuts and holes, and it was only a matter of time before they succumbed to blood loss or infection. The mother's sacrifice meant that the babies had avoided the imminent threat, but they were left unattended as a consequence, and it took an opportunistic bird swooping down to shake Ceele out of her shock. Despite her subsequent hurry, she only acted in time to save one of the orphaned young. The warren was new and barely dug out, which meant that it didn’t take much effort for the kits to be found—by both her and hungry maws. All she could do was scoop the ball of fluff into her arms and run back to the cave before anything else tried to eat it.
In retrospect, it was a stupid decision for a number of factors. She barely had the resources to supply herself, and an attempt to raise offspring of any type would only make the inevitable heartbreak worse. But when she saw how quiet and scared he was… How his tiny, shaking body calmed in her arms, those terrified red eyes seeking comfort… She should have just walked away when she knew there wasn’t going to be anything to fill her stomach. She should have put the baby animal down and let nature take its course…yet the preciously furry face stole her heart far too quickly for it to grow so cold. The next day was spent backtracking to the nearest town to get him something suitable to eat, which used most of her meagre savings. Still, it was worth every coin.
Hoppit had been accompanying her ever since. He grew quickly, transitioning from something she saved that stormy night into a presence she had grown to love like a child. The little lagomorph would bounce along beside her during her travels, then ride in her arms as he rested—though the latter happened with worrying frequency as of late. She hadn’t learned much about the springy herbivores, but she knew enough to say that he wasn't as big as he should be, nor was his fur as sharp. No matter how startled he was, his spiky coat never managed to do more than stiffen slightly, which was apparently a side effect of poor diet, according to snippets of conversation she had overheard on the topic. She wanted him to be healthy, but she didn't know what he needed. Not many farmers raised ferrorabbits, and those that did were far away, so she didn’t have anyone to ask what she should be doing. Her best course of action was to give him what little she had.
Ceele was well aware of how he would be better off on his own, but he followed her whenever she tried to set him free. Hoppit just kept launching into her arms and wiggling his ears, ecstatic that he was with her again, uncaring that food was scarce and that they spent most of their days travelling. No amount of cold nights spent bundling up under the tattered blankets she managed to find ever dampened his spirits, and he was content to eat the grass or flowers whenever he felt like it, oblivious to the fact that he wasn’t getting enough nutrition. He would dig and excitedly drag back oddities that he found, and the one time he found a plant that looked particularly good for him, he insisted that it be shared with her.
A black pit still lingered in her chest when she recalled how pleased he was while he munched on the rare vegetable he discovered, then how distressed he became when she wouldn’t have any as well. He bumped and nipped at her, all but begging her to eat. His ears pinned back against his head, his fur bristled in a way she hadn’t seen since. It was only when she took a small bite and let him inspect the new teeth marks that he seemed to calm down, but perhaps she had been looking too deep into the actions of her tiny friend. All she could say for certain was that he was scared she was going hungry.
A morbid thought wondered if his first mother had refused food shortly before being attacked, and he—as small and simple as he was—had connected the two events in his mind, making him absolutely terrified that something would happen if Ceele didn’t have something too. All of that fear, and desperation overwhelmed him, just because she was happier watching him eat. She was determined to erase that issue. She would find something that needed a worker and earn enough to feed them both. One day, she would be able to smile at how big and healthy her little fluffy boy had become, but until then, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to think about how she was spending so much time growing vegetables and fruit that he couldn’t have…
Every morning was an exercise in tending to the gardens while actively shoving down images of a pleased ferrorabbit happily eating the results. That never went well; no matter how determined she was to complete her duties without a single selfish thought, most tasks were done while picturing his full belly and delighted bounces. There were a few weeks until the fastest of the crops would be ready for harvest, and Ceele would have to collect them while fighting the urge to bring back just a few for him.
She couldn’t, because she knew exactly how quickly that could escalate. It would start small—A vegetable here, a fruit there—but seeing Hoppit happy was one of the precious few good things she had in her life. Crossing the line would only become easier each time. They couldn’t risk losing their new home over greed, and she was already betraying the trust given to her by housing a wild animal, especially one known to be a pest for crops. She didn't want to know how angry it would make her benefactors if she was caught taking their vegetables for one.
No matter how tame and precious Hoppit was, and no matter how well he listened, they would only see him as the same creature that ruined harvests in droves. Thus was why she had to tell him to stay cooped up by himself while she was working or scavenging. And to her surprise, he did.
Honestly, she had made the initial request with the expectation of needing to carry him back into their home until he understood that she wasn’t leaving him forever. There wasn’t much she could do to stop the ferrorabbit from digging through the old wooden building if he wanted to get out. He wouldn’t need to damage anything either—a rotting board on the door only needed a little push to nudge it out of the way, and his natural curiosity made sure he was aware of it. But no, Hoppit was well-behaved as always, keeping hidden until she walked through the door, where he would leap from the shadows to personally show her how good he was and how he stayed put like she asked him to. It never stopped amazing her that he had such a surprising level of understanding despite being an animal, and that was to say nothing of how young he was.
All that intelligence, joy, and companionship he offered her…and yet the best she could give back to him was the weeds from the garden and the odd plant she found while scavenging…
Soft clacks of flicking ears dragged her from her pondering, her mind returning to the present. Hoppit finished his treat of the small plant, then bounced in place and scurried over to his bowl of water, perfectly happy to have eaten only that. He was so joyful with how little she provided, approaching every day of scarcity with the same enthusiasm she could never muster, as if certain that everything would be alright.
“It’s bedtime, Hoppit,” Ceele announced through a soft sigh, stoking the fire with enough branches to hopefully last the night. The ferrorabbit perked an ear in her direction, then sat on his haunches to extend the rest of himself up, his two little forepaws adorably held to his chest as he inspected the room like he always did. She smiled and made sure everything was stored away, then laid down on her bundle of blankets, covering herself with the warmest one. Hoppit bolted over to snuggle once he decided everything in the shed was up to his standards, throwing himself to the floor in a dramatic flop of comfort. Her quiet laughter subsided as they both settled in for the night, her tail completing the rabbit’s encompassing cuddle, but her eyes fell towards the obsidian orb on the table, her thoughts following suit.
It sat there, just as she left it, as benign as anything else ever placed atop the improvised furnishing. Yet there was a sense of ease and purpose as well. The old wooden trough seemed…important with its adornment firmly laid upon its surface, and she couldn’t puzzle out why. She was starting to doubt her earlier excitement.
Should she sell it? Would anyone know where it came from? Would anyone know what it was, or if it was worth anything? If she could get even a modest sum for it, she would be able to buy clothing, food, and new bedding. It would be easier to convince someone to give her work if she was dressed better and wasn’t so thin, and then she would have the income to slowly improve both of their lives. She could pay for a wandering merchant to ask a ferrorabbit rancher about the animal, even if it would take time to get back to her, or maybe she could hire a local if they needed to go near one for some reason. The cost didn’t matter to her as long as it happened.
But there was something else bothering her about the idea of selling the stone. She had travelled so far with a tug in her chest, only for the feeling of wanderlust to dissipate as soon as she held it. Was that a sign? She was never one for things like ‘fate,’ but a niggling doubt in her mind discouraged the idea of making a profit off her discovery. Even if what she could gain was so very tempting, and even if Hoppit would be happier if she did…
She tore her dampened eyes away and closed them, ignoring the burning trails running across her face. It would be another early morning, and she needed to sleep so she could take care of the garden. Decisions like this could wait. Once she had nothing else distracting her, and she had time to properly think about it, she would see how she felt about the stone.
Eventually, she dozed off with Hoppit pressed against her chest, and a longing in her heart.
Next
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A/N: Patreon and Ko-fi will be 1 chap ahead this time around, and I've set it so everything from the lowest tier up can read the newest trashfire! Anything above that is sheer show of love. Hope you enjoyed!

I recently got a urinalysis done and the results came back saying that I had high levels of bacteria in my urine. My physician prescribed me an antibiotic (nitrofurantoin mono-mcr) for a UTI. I was suprised to hear that I had a UTI because I did not have any major discomfort when I go pee or anything like that. I did some research and found that I might have a medical condition called asymptomatic bacteriuria. I was reading online that it is generally not recommended to take antibiotics to fix this and that it could increase the risk of UTIs in the future because of antibiotic resistance that the uropathogenic bacteria could develop. I am not pregnant, nor am I immunocompromsied, nor am I getting a urologic surgery or like that. I am also assigned male at birth. I have been eating some steak that I have cooked rare over the last few months. Maybe I didn’t completely cook the steak (or some other type(s) of meat) properly, and some of the E.coli found on the surfaces of the steak got into my urine; I can’t think of anything else that I have done that could cause it.
Anyways, should I take the antibiotics to treat my asymptomatic bacteriuria? If not, is there a way to treat asymptomatic bacteriuria without antibiotics? Should I even worry about fixing this medical condition? I have them at home just in case but I think my physician is wrong on this one. I didn’t go to the follow up visit (I should have) after the blood tests and urinalysis (they were done at a different location), so my physician probably assumed I have a UTI because she was just going off of the urinalysis results and didn’t ask me about symptoms I was having of a potential UTI.

Systematic treatment of asymptomatic bacteriuria is not recommended and even classic indications such as asymptomatic bacteriuria in pregnant women are controversial. In fact, its treatment is associated with a higher probability of symptomatic UTI and a higher prevalence of antibiotic-resistant bacteria. Improving the diagnosis of asymptomatic bacteriuria and optimizing the management of recurrent urinary tract infections, especially through non-antibiotics measures, are needed in order to minimise antimicrobial resistance.

Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8634747/

One time some months ago while masturbating I had an intrusive thought of a family member because of a movie associated to incest that I was watching. Since then I’ve been feeling terrible every second, trying to control everything around me to not feel like a creep. Sleep was the only time I was free of it, but lately it has been also visiting in my sleep, and I’m afraid what I felt the other day was basically an orgasm. I was laying down next to that person and I couldn’t sleep and suddenly the said something quietly that I didn’t really catch that sounding like “I’m coming” and I thought again of that moment and how disgusting it is, I wasn’t turned on, at all. But then I felt a really numb feeling down there. I’ve felt kind of similar feeling when having a wet dream, also when having random dreams too but idk. I wasn’t even really asleep. But this whole thing has influenced me so much and this just made things so much worse. I keep reminding myself I’m a terrible person and I’m afraid I won’t look at that person the same that scares me the most bc they are extremely important to me. I’m ashamed all the time and I can’t function properly, I feel like a creep and even though I know I wouldn’t be able to do it I feel like it would be better without me. Even my friends noticed I don’t act the same anymore. I’ve always had times were I had strong anxiety symptoms, my dad has ocd and I’m just like him, idk if it is inherited. But this is taking way too long, and I just want to move on. If you can comment on anything to help me please do so