I’ve never written a question on this app before but this is eating at me. BUCKLE UP THIS IS LONG!
So my husband’s family have been abusive to him, he is the black sheep of his family he is the youngest and has a different father than his older siblings (8,6 years older).
Ever since I started dating him I was antagonized in some way. When I first met his family for Christmas his middle brother invited his ex-girlfriend to hang out, unbeknownst to my then bf which was awkward but she was fine with me. My boyfriend then was really sick and I took the train 2 hours to pick him up from his home (where his family was with their cars) and take him to a hospital in London. He was there for 6 days not one person visited him but me. They made fun of him and minimized his illness.
Then we moved to my home country the US and eloped. They came to visit a few years later his mom and eldest brother were okay. Middle brother again constantly throwing barbs and digs at me completely unprovoked. I get there may be a culture difference they are White English conservatives, I’m African American. Shortly after we married he dated a black girl, who left bc she was also treated poorly. Some examples of digs; I congratulated him on graduating and asked him when he finished he replied “same time you were supposed to” (I dropped out). Then I asked what the he loved most and what was challenging about being a PT and he replied “no offense, working with fat people.” Took them to multiple meals and covered everything which wasn’t cheap, he complained about the food being “reheated” and bitched when he was ID’d.
Things get progressively worse, middle brother has a precious baby. I want to spoil her and become close with the mother of the child (who is not with him due to his creepy behavior). We form a fast friendship and chat all the time about the baby. My brother in-law tortures this girl denies he is the dad but also goes out of his way to bully her (she’s not breast feeding right, she shouldn’t have pacifiers) all from the comfort of his home. He is also constantly complaining about having to pay $50 a week in child support nonstop saying he is going “bankrupt”. My hubby is part of a group chat and my mother-in-law talks ish about my friend and my hubby is telling me. I ask to see and his brother is actively trying to give his soon to be 1 year old daughter eggs and gluten that his ex told him she was allergic to and they are plotting to do this during her birthday and explicitly NOT tell my friend the mom of his baby. The reasoning was “I’m the father, I deserve to be respected, I can make choices to” but he is extremely sneaky. I show my friend/baby’s mom the messages and all hell breaks loose because of course he lies and gets caught. I would have told him off directly but he blocked me because he was mad at how close I was getting to his ex. I am called a “despicable woman” dragged in their chat, made to seem that I’m spying on my husband and accused of being jealous and sabotaging my niece’s birthday party. My husband says nothing in my defense just goes along like he didn’t send me the photos of their chat…
They don’t know I’m pregnant at this time and I chose not to tell any of my in-laws due to how awful they are. I also don’t believe in telling anyone that would wish ill on me and my baby (bad juju), but my bestie the baby mom knows. I give birth his mom has an absolute tantrum says incredibly awful things to my husband, reaches out to my mom to wish her congratulations on her grandchild and says “i guess I will learn to love him.”
Then my friend the mom gets diagnosed with cancer and wants to keep this secret and makes me promise, she kept my secret pregnancy it is the least I could do. She dies a few months later and my brother in law attacks her for not telling him and claims she is a horrible mother. He takes custody of his daughter.
Fast forward the eldest brother meets this hog woman. She is rotund and English, very ignorant and rude. The first interaction I had she thought she knew so much, decides to bash my dead friend’s parenting, call my dead father in law “weird”, tells me my niece eats everything now due to having a “good parent” and called my apt in NYC “embarrassing” bc it had scaffolding on google maps when she looked me up (like a creep). She then antagonizes me in a variety of slick ways including posting the eldest brother with my niece with the caption “uncle B’s favorite!” On my son’s birthday. Most recently I tell his family that we want to actually have a proper wedding and celebrate after 10 years of marriage, i give them 2 years notice. The hog says “ohhh me and the eldest are planning on getting married then.” I ask why she says “nice weather”. She then proceeds to have a fall wedding (orange, red, greens, pumpkins, barley, wheelbarrows etc.” in May. I try to be the bigger person and send a kind welcome and she leaves me on read.
I hate these people, I need to let this go. My husband says that we should just go on continuing our happy life and not “start problems”. But it feels like so much awfulness to have to swallow. I also feel like if/when I do speak up I’m the hysterical angry black woman and this hog is the “innocent”. The whole thing is so so frustrating but I need to let it go even though I want them to hurt emotionally as much as they have hurt us.
Any recommendations, would you want revenge? There is so much more but I have written a novel already. I feel alone like no one has my back or tries to understand my perspective. They are so sneaky and underhanded. I want to protect my family from these sick people. At the same time I want justice, justice for my husband, for my dead bestie, for me son and for me.

TradingView.com.com is a popular online platform that provides a comprehensive suite of tools and resources for traders, investors, and analysts to analyze and trade financial markets. In this chapter, we will provide an overview of TradingView.com, its features, and its benefits, setting the stage for a deeper dive into the platform's capabilities in subsequent chapters.

What is TradingView.com?

TradingView.com is a cloud-based platform that enables users to analyze and trade financial markets, including stocks, forex, futures, and cryptocurrencies. Founded in 2011, TradingView.com has grown to become one of the largest and most popular trading communities in the world, with over 10 million registered users.

Key Features of TradingView.com

TradingView.com offers a wide range of features that make it an attractive platform for traders and analysts. Some of the key features include:
1. Charting and Technical Analysis: TradingView.com provides a powerful charting platform that allows users to create custom charts with various indicators, drawing tools, and annotations. Users can also access a vast library of pre-built indicators and templates.
2. Backtesting and Paper Trading: TradingView.com allows users to backtest and paper trade their strategies using historical data, enabling them to refine their trading ideas and test their performance.
3. Community and Social Trading: TradingView.com has a large and active community of users who share their ideas, strategies, and insights. Users can follow other traders, participate in discussions, and share their own ideas and insights.
4. Alerts and Notifications: TradingView.com provides a robust alert system that allows users to set custom alerts based on market conditions, technical indicators, and other criteria.
5. Data Feeds: TradingView.com offers a range of data feeds, including real-time and historical data, for various markets and instruments.
6. Scripting and Automation: TradingView.com's PineScript language allows users to create custom indicators, strategies, and automated trading systems.
7. Mobile Apps: TradingView.com offers mobile apps for iOS and Android devices, enabling users to access the platform on-the-go.

Benefits of Using TradingView.com

TradingView.com offers several benefits to its users, including:
1. Improved Trading Decisions: TradingView.com's charting and analysis tools enable users to make more informed trading decisions.
2. Access to a Large Community: TradingView.com's community provides users with access to a vast network of traders, analysts, and experts.
3. Customization and Automation: TradingView.com's scripting and automation capabilities allow users to create custom strategies and automate their trading.
4. Real-time Data and Alerts: TradingView.com's real-time data and alert system enable users to stay up-to-date with market movements and react quickly to market changes.
5. Cost-Effective: TradingView.com offers a range of pricing plans, including a free version, making it an accessible platform for traders and analysts.

Conclusion

In this chapter, we have provided an overview of TradingView.com, its features, and its benefits. TradingView.com is a powerful platform that offers a range of tools and resources for traders, analysts, and investors. Whether you are a seasoned trader or just starting out, TradingView.com provides a comprehensive suite of tools to help you analyze and trade financial markets. In the next chapter, we will delve deeper into the charting and technical analysis capabilities of TradingView.com.

Chapter 2: Creating an Account and Setting Up Your Profile

As a new user, creating an account and setting up your profile is the first step in exploring the world of [Platform/Service]. In this chapter, we will guide you through a step-by-step process to create an account and set up your profile, ensuring a seamless and enjoyable experience.

Section 1: Creating an Account

To create an account, follow these steps:
1. Visit the Sign-up Page: Go to the [Platform/Service] website and click on the "Sign Up" or "Create an Account" button. This will take you to the sign-up page.
2. Enter Your Email Address: Enter a valid email address to serve as your login credentials. Make sure to use a unique and memorable email address, as it will be used to reset your password if needed.
3. Choose a Username: Choose a unique and memorable username that will be used to identify you on the platform. This can be your real name, a nickname, or a combination of letters and numbers.
4. Create a Password: Create a strong and unique password for your account. A strong password should be at least 8 characters long and include a mix of uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and special characters.
5. Confirm Your Password: Re-enter your password to confirm it. This ensures that you have entered the correct password.
6. Verify Your Account: Click on the "Create Account" button to create your account. You will receive an email verification link to verify your email address.

Section 2: Setting Up Your Profile

Once you have created your account, it's time to set up your profile. Follow these steps:
1. Fill Out Your Profile Information: Fill out your profile information, including your name, birthday, and location. This information will be used to personalize your experience and connect with other users.
2. Add a Profile Picture: Upload a profile picture that represents you. This can be a photo of yourself, a logo, or an avatar.
3. Add a Bio: Write a brief bio that describes yourself, your interests, or your expertise. This will help others get to know you better and find common ground.
4. Customize Your Profile Settings: Customize your profile settings to control what information is visible to others and what notifications you receive.
5. Connect with Others: Start connecting with other users by sending friend requests or joining groups related to your interests.

Tips and Best Practices

· Use a strong and unique password for your account.
· Keep your profile information up-to-date and accurate.
· Be cautious when sharing personal information or connecting with strangers.
· Use the platform's built-in features to block or report suspicious or inappropriate behavior.
· Respect other users' privacy and boundaries.

Conclusion

Congratulations! You have successfully created an account and set up your profile. You are now ready to explore the world of [Platform/Service] and start connecting with others. Remember to keep your account information secure, be respectful of others, and have fun exploring the platform. In the next chapter, we will dive deeper into the features and functionality of [Platform/Service].

Chapter 3: Navigating the TradingView.com

Interface

As a trader or investor, it's essential to understand the TradingView.com interface to get the most out of this powerful platform. In this chapter, we'll take a comprehensive tour of the TradingView.com interface and its various components. By the end of this chapter, you'll be well-versed in navigating the platform and ready to start exploring its features.

Section 1: The TradingView.com

Dashboard

The TradingView.com dashboard is the main hub of the platform, providing an overview of your account, market data, and other essential features. Let's break down the key components of the dashboard:
1. Header Bar: The header bar at the top of the screen displays your username, account balance, and other account information.
2. Navigation Menu: The navigation menu allows you to access various sections of the platform, including your watchlists, charts, and settings.
3. Market Data: The market data section provides real-time quotes for various assets, including stocks, forex, and cryptocurrencies.
4. Alerts: The alerts section allows you to set custom alerts for specific market conditions, such as price movements or news events.
5. Watchlists: The watchlists section enables you to create and manage custom lists of symbols, making it easy to track your favorite assets.

Section 2: Charting and Analysis

TradingView.com is renowned for its powerful charting capabilities, allowing you to create custom charts with various indicators, studies, and drawing tools. Let's explore the key features of the charting interface:
1. Chart Types: TradingView.com offers a range of chart types, including line charts, candlestick charts, and Renko charts.
2. Indicators: The platform comes with a vast library of built-in indicators, including moving averages, RSI, and Bollinger Bands.
3. Drawing Tools: The drawing tools allow you to annotate your charts with lines, shapes, and text.
4. Studies: Studies are custom indicators created by the TradingView.com community, offering a wide range of trading strategies and techniques.
5. PineScript: PineScript is a programming language used to create custom indicators and strategies.

Section 3: Community and Social Trading

TradingView.com is more than just a trading platform – it's a community-driven platform where traders and investors share ideas, strategies, and insights. Let's explore the community features:
1. PineCoders: PineCoders is a community of developers who create custom indicators and strategies using PineScript.
2. TradingView.com Blog: The TradingView.com blog features articles, analysis, and insights from experienced traders and investors.
3. TradingView.com Forum: The forum is a hub for discussion, debate, and learning, where traders and investors share their experiences and ask questions.
4. Watchlists: Watchlists allow you to share your favorite symbols with others, making it easy to collaborate and learn from each other.
5. PineScript Challenges: PineScript challenges are community-driven initiatives where developers create custom indicators and strategies, and the community votes on the best submissions.

Section 4: Customization and Settings

As you become more comfortable with the TradingView.com interface, you'll want to customize your experience to suit your needs. Let's explore the customization options:
1. Theme: TradingView.com offers a range of themes, allowing you to personalize the look and feel of the platform.
2. Layout: The layout options enable you to customize the arrangement of the platform's components, such as the chart, indicators, and alerts.
3. Notifications: The notification settings allow you to customize the types of notifications you receive, including market data updates and alert notifications.
4. Security: The security settings enable you to set up two-factor authentication, password recovery, and other security measures to protect your account.

Conclusion

Navigating the TradingView.com interface is an essential step in unlocking the full potential of this powerful platform. By understanding the various components of the dashboard, charting and analysis tools, community features, and customization options, you'll be well-equipped to start exploring the platform and developing your trading skills. In the next chapter, we'll dive deeper into the world of PineScript, exploring the programming language and its applications in trading and investing.

Chapter 4: Understanding Charts and Time Frames

In this chapter, we will delve into the world of charts and time frames, a fundamental concept in technical analysis. We will explore the different types of charts, time frames, and how to use them effectively on TradingView.com. By the end of this chapter, you will have a solid understanding of how to use charts and time frames to analyze and trade the markets.

What are Charts and Time Frames?

Charts and time frames are the foundation of technical analysis. A chart is a graphical representation of a security's price action over a specific period. Time frames, on the other hand, refer to the duration of the data displayed on the chart. In other words, time frames determine how much data is displayed on the chart and how often the data is updated.

Types of Charts

There are several types of charts, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. The most common types of charts are:
1. Line Chart: A line chart connects the closing prices of a security over a specific period, creating a continuous line. This chart is useful for identifying trends and patterns.
2. Candlestick Chart: A candlestick chart displays the high, low, open, and close prices of a security over a specific period. Each candle represents a specific time period, and the color of the candle indicates whether the price closed higher or lower than the previous day's close.
3. Bar Chart: A bar chart is similar to a candlestick chart but does not display the open and close prices. Instead, it shows the high and low prices, as well as the open and close prices.
4. Renko Chart: A Renko chart is a type of chart that uses a unique algorithm to create a chart that is not based on time. Instead, it uses price movements to create a chart that is more focused on the price action.

Time Frames

Time frames determine the duration of the data displayed on the chart. Common time frames include:
1. 1-minute: A 1-minute chart displays the price action over a 1-minute period.
2. 5-minute: A 5-minute chart displays the price action over a 5-minute period.
3. 15-minute A 15-minute chart displays the price action over a 15-minute period.
4. 30-minute: A 30-minute chart displays the price action over a 30-minute period.
5. 1-hour: A 1-hour chart displays the price action over a 1-hour period.
6. 4-hour: A 4-hour chart displays the price action over a 4-hour period.
7. Daily: A daily chart displays the price action over a 1-day period.
8. Weekly: A weekly chart displays the price action over a 1-week period.
9. Monthly: A monthly chart displays the price action over a 1-month period.

Using Charts and Time Frames on TradingView.com

TradingView.com is a popular platform for charting and analyzing financial markets. Here's how to use charts and time frames on TradingView.com:
1. Creating a Chart: To create a chart on TradingView.com, go to the "Charts" tab and select the security you want to chart. Choose the chart type and time frame you want to use.
2. Customizing the Chart: Once you have created a chart, you can customize it by adding indicators, drawing tools, and other features.
3. Switching Time Frames: To switch time frames on TradingView.com, click on the "Time Frame" dropdown menu and select the desired time frame.
4. Zooming In and Out: To zoom in and out of a chart on TradingView.com, use the mouse wheel or the "Zoom" button.

Conclusion

In this chapter, we have covered the basics of charts and time frames, including the different types of charts and time frames. We have also explored how to use charts and time frames on TradingView.com. By mastering charts and time frames, you will be able to analyze and trade the markets more effectively. In the next chapter, we will explore the importance of indicators and how to use them to make informed trading decisions.

Chapter 5: Technical Indicators and Studies

In this chapter, we will delve into the world of technical indicators and studies available on TradingView.com. As a trader, it is essential to understand the various indicators and studies that can be used to analyze and predict market movements. This chapter will provide an overview of the different types of technical indicators and studies available on TradingView.com, their uses, and how to apply them in your trading strategy.

What are Technical Indicators and Studies?

Technical indicators and studies are mathematical calculations based on historical price data that help traders identify trends, patterns, and potential trading opportunities. These indicators and studies can be used to analyze and predict market movements, making it easier to make informed trading decisions.

Types of Technical Indicators and Studies

There are numerous types of technical indicators and studies available on TradingView.com, including:
1. Trend Indicators: These indicators help identify trends and potential trading opportunities. Examples include the Moving Average, Relative Strength Index (RSI), and Bollinger Bands.
2. Momentum Indicators: These indicators measure the rate of change of an asset's price over a given period. Examples include the RSI, Stochastic Oscillator, and Momentum Indicator.
3. Volatility Indicators: These indicators measure the degree of price movement or volatility. Examples include the Average True Range (ATR) and Bollinger Bands.
4. Pattern Recognition Indicators: These indicators help identify specific chart patterns, such as head and shoulders or triangles. Examples include the Ichimoku Cloud and the Keltner Channel.
5. Statistical Indicators: These indicators use statistical methods to analyze market data. Examples include the Exponential Moving Average (EMA) and the Simple Moving Average (SMA).

Popular Technical Indicators and Studies on TradingView.com

Some of the most popular technical indicators and studies available on TradingView.com include:
1. Moving Average: A simple moving average calculates the average price of an asset over a given period.
2. Relative Strength Index (RSI): The RSI measures the magnitude of recent price changes to determine overbought or oversold conditions.
3. Bollinger Bands: Bollinger Bands consist of a moving average and two standard deviations plotted above and below the average.
4. Stochastic Oscillator: The stochastic oscillator compares the closing price of an asset to its price range over a given period.
5. Ichimoku Cloud: The Ichimoku Cloud is a comprehensive technical analysis system that inclues multiple indicators, including the Tenkan-sen, Kijun-sen, and Senkou Span.
6. Keltner Channel: The Keltner Channel is a volatility-based indicator that plots two lines above and below a moving average.
7. Average True Range (ATR): The ATR measures the average true range of an asset over a given period.
8. Exponential Moving Average (EMA): The EMA is a type of moving average that gives more weight to recent price data.
9. Simple Moving Average (SMA): The SMA is a type of moving average that calculates the average price of an asset over a given period.
10. Stochastic Momentum Index (SMI): The SMI is a momentum indicator that measures the rate of change of an aset's price over a given period.

How to Use Technical Indicators and Studies

To get the most out of technical indicators and studies, it is essential to understand how to use them effectively. Here are some tips:
1. Combine Indicators: Combining multiple indicators can help confirm trading signals and reduce false positives.
2. Use Multiple Time Frames: Analyzing multiple time frames can help identify trends and patterns that may not be visible on a single time frame.
3. Adjust Parameters: Adjusting the parameters of an indicator can help tailor it to your specific trading strategy.
4. Use Indicators in Conjunction with Fundamental Analysis: Combining technical indicators with fundamental analysis can help provide a more comprehensive view of the market.
5. Backtest Indicators: Backtesting indicators can help evaluate their performance and identify potential biases.

Conclusion

Technical indicators and studies are powerful tools that can help traders analyze and predict market movements. By understanding the different types of indicators and studies available on TradingView.com, traders can develop a comprehensive trading strategy that incorporates multiple indicators and studies. Remember to combine indicators, use multiple time frames, adjust parameters, and backtest indicators to get the most out of technical indicators and studies.

Chapter 6: Creating and Customizing Charts

As a trader, having the right tools and information is crucial for making informed decisions. Charts are an essential component of any trading strategy, providing valuable insights into market trends and patterns. In this chapter, we will explore the process of creating and customizing charts on TradingView.com, a popular platform for traders and analysts.

Creating a Chart on TradingView.com

Creating a chart on TradingView.com is a straightforward process that can be completed in a few steps.
1. Log in to Your TradingView.com Account: Start by logging in to your TradingView.com account. If you don't have an account, you can create one by signing up on the TradingView.com website.
2. Select the Symbol: Once logged in, navigate to the "Symbols" tab and select the symbol you want to chart. You can search for symbols by typing in the symbol name or by using the "Search" function.
3. Create a New Chart: Click on the "Create a New Chart" button to create a new chart. You can also create a new chart by clicking on the "New Chart" button in the top-right corner of the TradingView.com window.
4. Select the Chart Type: Choose the type of chart you want to create. TradingView.com offers a variety of chart types, including line charts, candlestick charts, and more.
5. Customize the Chart Settings: Customize the chart settings to suit your needs. You can adjust the chart size, grid lines, and other settings to create a chart that meets your requirements.

Customizing Charts on TradingView.com

Customizing charts on TradingView.com is an essential step in creating a chart that meets your specific needs. Here are some tips for customizing your charts:
1. Add Indicators: Add indicators to your chart to gain insights into market trends and patterns. TradingView.com offers a wide range of indicators, including moving averages, RSI, and more.
2. Add Drawings: Add drawings to your chart to highlight specific patterns or trends. You can add lines, shapes, and other drawings to your chart to create a visual representation of your analysis.
3. Add Alerts: Set up alerts on your chart to notify you of specific market events or price movements. You can set up alerts based on price movements, volume, and other market indicators.
4. Customize the Chart Grid: Customize the chart grid to suit your needs. You can adjust the grid lines, grid spacing, and other settings to create a chart that meets your requirements.
5. Save and Share Your Chart: Save and share your chart with others. You can save your chart as a template or share it with other traders and analysts.

Advanced Chart Customization

In addition to the basic customization options, TradingView.com offers advanced customization options that allow you to create complex charts and indicators. Here are some tips for advanced chart customization:
1. Create Custom Indicators: Create custom indicators using the TradingView.com PineScript programming language. You can create custom indicators that meet your specific needs.
2. Use Custom Drawings: Use custom drawings to create complex patterns and shapes on your chart. You can create custom drawings using the TradingView.com drawing tools.
3. Customize the Chart Layout: Customize the chart layout to suit your needs. You can adjust the chart size, grid lines, and other settings to create a chart that meets your requirements.
4. Use Advanced Chart Settings: Use advanced chart settings to customize your chart further. You can adjust the chart settings to suit your specific needs.

Conclusion

Creating and customizing charts on TradingView.com is a powerful way to gain insights into market trends and patterns. By following the steps outlined in this chapter, you can create complex charts and indicators that meet your specific needs. Whether you're a seasoned trader or a beginner, TradingView.com offers a range of tools and features that can help you create charts that meet your specific needs.
Chapter 7:

Introduction to Trading Strategies

As a trader, having a solid understanding of various trading strategies is crucial for making informed decisions and maximizing profits. In this chapter, we will explore popular trading strategies, their underlying principles, and how to implement them on TradingView.com. By the end of this chapter, you will have a comprehensive understanding of various trading strategies and how to apply them using TradingView.com's powerful platform.

Introduction to Trading Strategies

Trading strategies are pre-defined rules or methods used to make trading decisions. These strategies are designed to help traders navigate the markets, identify profitable opportunities, and minimize losses. Trading strategies can be categorized into several types, including:
· Trend following strategies: These strategies aim to identify and ride the trend, whether it's an uptrend or a downtrend.
· Range trading strategies: These strategies focus on identifying and trading within a specific price range.
· Mean reversion strategies: These strategies rely on the idea that prices will revert to their historical means.
· Statistical arbitrage strategies: These strategies involve identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them.

Popular Trading Strategies

2.1 Trend Following Strategies
Trend following strategies are designed to identify and ride the trend. These strategies involve identifying the direction of the market and trading in that direction. Some popular trend following strategies include:
· Moving Average Crossover (MAC): This strategy involves identifying the crossover of two moving averages to determine the direction of the trend.
· Relative Strength Index (RSI): This strategy involves identifying overbought or oversold conditions using the RSI indicator.
· Bollinger Bands: This strategy involves identifying breakouts above or below the bands to determine the direction of the trend.
2.2 Range Trading Strategies
Range trading strategies focus on identifying and trading within a specific price range. These strategies involve identifying support and resistance levels and trading within the range. Some popular range trading strategies include:
· Support and Resistance Trading: This strategy involves identifying key support and resistance levels and trading within the range.
· Channel Trading: This strategy involves identifying and trading within a specific price channel.
2.3 Mean Reversion Strategies
Mean reversion strategies rely on the idea that prices will revert to their historical means. These strategies involve identifying overbought or oversold conditions and trading in the opposite direction. Some popular mean reversion strategies include:
· Mean Reversion Trading: This strategy involves identifying overbought or oversold conditions and trading in the opposite direction.
· Statistical Arbitrage: This strategy involves identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them.
2.4 Statistical Arbitrage Strategies
Statistical arbitrage strategies involve identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them. These strategies involve analyzing historical data and identifying statistical anomalies. Some popular statistical arbitrage strategies include:
· Statistical Arbitrage: This strategy involves identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them.
· Event-Driven Trading: This strategy involves identifying and trading on specific events, such as earnings announcements or mergers and acquisitions.

3.

Implementing Trading Strategies on TradingView.com

TradingView.com is a powerful platform that allows traders to implement and backtest various trading strategies. Here are some steps to follow when implementing trading strategies on TradingView.com:
1. Create a new chart: Open a new chart on TradingView.com and select the asset you want to trade.
2. Add indicators: Add the indicators you want to use for your trading strategy. For example, you may want to add a moving average crossover indicator.
3. Set parameters: Set the parameters for your indicators. For example, you may want to set the period for your moving average crossover indicator.
4. Backtest the strategy: Backtest your strategy by running a backtest on TradingView.com. This will allow you to evaluate the performance of your strategy.
5. Refine the strategy: Refine your strategy by adjusting the parameters and testing different scenarios.

Conclusion

In this chapter, we have explored popular trading strategies and how to implement them on TradingView.com. By understanding various trading strategies and how to apply them using TradingView.com, you can make informed trading decisions and maximize your profits. Remember to always backtest and refine your strategies to ensure optimal performance. In the next chapter, we will explore advanced trading strategies and how to use them to improve your trading performance.

Chapter 8:

Backtesting and Evaluating Trading Ideas

As a trader, it's essential to test and refine your trading ideas before implementing them in live markets. Backtesting and evaluating your trading ideas can help you identify potential flaws, optimize your strategy, and increase your chances of success. In this chapter, we'll explore the process of backtesting and evaluating trading ideas using TradingView.com, a popular platform for charting and backtesting trading strategies.

What is Backtesting?

Backtesting is the process of applying a trading strategy to historical market data to evaluate its performance. It allows you to test your trading idea on past data to see how it would have performed in real-time. By backtesting your strategy, you can:
1. Identify potential flaws in your strategy
2. Optimize your strategy for better performance
3. Refine your strategy to improve its accuracy
4. Evaluate the strategy's risk-reward ratio

Why Backtest?

Backtesting is crucial for several reasons:
1. Risk management: Backtesting helps you identify potential risks associated with your trading strategy.
2. Strategy optimization: Backtesting allows you to refine your strategy to improve its performance.
3. Performance evaluation: Backtesting enables you to evaluate the performance of your strategy and make data-driven decisions.
4. Confidence booster: Backtesting gives you confidence in your strategy, reducing the risk of emotional trading decisions.

How to Backtest on TradingView.com

TradingView.com offers a range of tools and features for backtesting trading ideas. Here's a step-by-step guide to get you started:
1. Create a new chart: Open TradingView.com and create a new chart for the asset you want to backtest.
2. Select the data range: Choose the time period for which you want to backtest your strategy. You can select a specific date range or use the default settings.
3. Add the strategy: Click on the "Indicators" tab and add the strategy you want to backtest. You can use built-in indicators or create your own custom indicators.
4. Set the parameters: Configure the strategy's parameters, such as the number of bars to look back, the number of trades to take, and the stop-loss levels.
5. Run the backtest: Click the "Run" button to start the backtest. TradingView.com will apply your strategy to the selected data range and provide performance metrics.
6. Analyze the results: Review the backtest results, including the strategy's profit/loss, drawdown, and other performance metrics.

Evaluating Trading Ideas

Evaluating your trading idea is a crucial step in the backtesting process. Here are some key metrics to consider:
1. Profit/Loss: Calculate the total profit or loss generated by your strategy.
2. Drawdown: Measure the maximum loss experienced by your strategy.
3. Sharpe Ratio: Calculate the Sharpe Ratio to evaluate the strategy's risk-adjusted performance.
4. Sortino Ratio: Use the Sortino Ratio to evaluate the strategy's risk-adjusted performance, focusing on the maximum drawdown.
5. Information Coefficient: Calculate the Information Coefficient to evaluate the strategy's ability to generate profits.

Best Practices for Backtesting

To get the most out of backtesting, follow these best practices:
1. Use a robust data set: Ensure your data is accurate and free from errors.
2. Test multiple scenarios: Test your strategy on different time frames, assets, and market conditions.
3. Monitor performance metrics: Keep track of your strategy's performance metrics and adjust as needed.
4. Refine your strategy: Continuously refine your strategy to improve its performance.
5. Avoid overfitting: Be cautious of overfitting, where your strategy performs well on the training data but poorly on new data.

Conclusion

Backtesting and evaluating trading ideas is a crucial step in the trading process. By using TradingView.com and following best practices, you can refine your trading strategy, optimize its performance, and increase your chances of success. Remember to evaluate your strategy's performance using relevant metrics and refine it continuously to improve its performance. With practice and patience, you'll develop a robust trading strategy that can withstand the challenges of the markets.

Hi I just came across a novel, chosen by the moon novel by izabella W. Its on pay by chapter websites, I've opened and read a few chapters but I can't seem to find any free version or chapter version anywhere. Please help. If anyone has read it I'm willing to take spoilers. Here's the advert I found below of it on Facebook.
Lycanthrope species is a disgusting race. And I, Delan Riley, am nothing more than a human scum in their eyes never expected those species would turn my world upside down. Since when the lycans managed to penetrate our town, like in the early 1900's we have a hierarchy, upper class = the lycans, middle class = mated humans, and lower class = the normal humans, who were basically considered scum. I endured their torment day after day, vowing to run away from them one day, until that day came and everything changed.
Dylan POV "Humans," I scowled at the principal's words from tannoy. "The Alpha twins will be celebrating their birthday tomorrow, as such, festivities are in order." Oh great, the Alphas twin children. Adrian and Arya are the worst lycans alive. I swear just because they are the alphas kids they literally get away with everything. If their birthday is tomorrow, then the wolves are going to be worse than ever. "All students will be present to greet them, two lines will be made, with humans on the left and the lycanthrope on the right. Any mated human will be at the front of the line for their year, you will all also be in order of your school year. That is all." Chat broke out the minute the tannoy was finished. "We haven't had a school gathering since the alpha king visited three years ago, before his sons coronation." Nick was right, the last time we all gathered like that was for the king and queens visit, when he decided to let the world know that he was to renounce his title to his only child, son Josh. "That sick bestard, he wants to make sure everyone is there so those idiot twins can find their mates." Yes I was mad, my fists connected with the table in front of me once more as I thought about how disgusting the situation was. You see the twins will be turning 17, so it's very possible someone in our school could be their mate, finding a mate is sacred to a wolf, the minute they say that one word your fate is sealed. They will turn your mind, morph you into being a lover of their kind, and then you'll give in.

That won't happen to me, I'm growing old to see the world as it once was, and I'm going to choose who I'll be with. No one will take that dream away from me.

Once dinner was finished, I just wanted to sleep. I'd had a very long tiring day, I quickly sat down on a small stool my mother kept in the storage closet and removed my shirt while my brother Freddy sat at the table to do his simple homework. It wasn't long before my mother came in with a large bowl of warm salt water and some cotton, this was going to sting I just knew it. She was here to help me with the wounds caused by wolves yesterday. She slowly began to unwrap the bandage from around my torso and slowed down drastically when it came to the final layer, I felt it peel off every wound and my fists clenched in pain. "Jesus!" I heard my mom exclaim once the dressing was completely removed. The air on my back was nice though and I sighed as my arm covered my once again exposed brests. "This is more than 15!" I began to hear sniffles coming from her and sighed turning round to look at her face, only to notice tears streaming down it. "Mom I'm fine, it's alright." She shook her head. "It's not alright, I'm your mother I shouldn't let these things happen. I'm so sorry. Your father would have..." here she goes again. Every single time something happened she'd always bring up dad, it really annoyed me because no matter how much we all wish he was here, he just isn't. My father was kiled by THEIR kind, almost 5 years ago when they actually managed to take over. When the lycans managed to penetrate our town my father rose up with some people from the neighborhood, to defend our livelihood, it was futile to say the least. We lost many people and I watched as my dad was ripped apart by two fully shifted wolves, I ended up shoting him to stop his suffering before they dragged me to the courtyard, i was the person to receive the first lashing of the town when I was 12! The wolves have been pretty strict with me since that day. "Stop being stvpid!" Was I harsh? Definitely! Did she need to hear it again, absolutely. "Dad is dead, we don't know what he'd do because he never knew this life. He never knew this world." I know what he'd have done, most likely attacked the guy who held the whip and got himself kiled in the process. "The best thing you can do for me, is stop crying and help me, next time don't insist on helping if you can't handle it." She began to wash my open wounds with the warm salt water causing loud winces to leave me, I knew it was necessary to prevent infection, but my god it hurt like a betch. "Some of these are really deep Dylan!" She sniffed again and my eyes rolled in my head. "I told you, I'm fine, just wrap me back up so I can get to bed." My mom was obviously more impacted by my injuries than I was, I suppose that always the case though. When it's happening to you, you've just got to get through it but when it's happening to someone you love, you just want to take their pain away. She quickly placed a fresh bandage around my waist and chest and wrapped it tightly for compression. The bowl of water that was used was now red in color, I guess from the blood my back was dripping with. "Can you keep your head down please? At least just this week. You can't take any more lashings." I simply nodded before standing up away from the stool, I walked over to Freddie and ruffled his hair in affection. "Good night squirt." He giggled and fixed his hair slightly. "Night Dilly." I smiled walking upstairs to my little bedroom, as soon as I was inside i shut the door and flopped down on to my bed on my stomach and I took a minute to cry to myself at the pain in my back, what my mom did was important but it hurt, not that I'd ever tell her. My hand covered my mouth quickly to muffle any noise I might be making. I couldn't tell anyone, I had to be strong because more and more people were crumpling these days, and my mom would break if she knew how much I was suffering. Sleep followed me shortly after, she was right though about me needing to keep my head down for the time being, I could not take another lashing! After a long night and an even longer morning, we were all finally stood in the hallway at school waiting for the twins to arrive. "Mine!" Everyone that was stood in the hallway tensed up, as we were seniors, me and Nick were stood towards the very back of the human line. All the mated people were situated directly opposite their wolf mates in their years. We stayed silent and still as Arya walked down the hall and stopped directly in front of Nick. His eyes widened in fear, unsure of wether to look up or keep his head lowered. "Look me in the eye, mate." He glanced at me slightly as if asking what he should do. "I said, look me in the eye." He slowly moved his eye line up to look at her face. I took a glance myself to see her eyes pitch black with lust. "I... can't... I mean... erm." Before he was able to mutter anything else, two wolves from opposite, grabbed him out of the line and dragged him behind Arya. "Hey!" My head shot up before I could stop myself. My mouth also forgot its place as I jumped out of line. Everyone's head shot to me as my eyes widened in realization at what I'd done. Adrian, the other twin, walked up to me before punching me right in the stomach, I doubled over instantly. Feeling the sting in my slightly healed back. "I know you... You were publicly flogged only two days ago." God I hate this guy. "I also have it on good authority, that you openly spoke out against our rules and regulations in yesterday's class." My head shot down the line slightly to see Erin, looking a little frightened, her mate, the beta to be was looking at her, nodding his head in reassurance. "You traitor, you grassed on your own kind?" I yelled at her before feeling a fist connect with my cheek. My head whipped to the side from the force, while my class members gasped. I'm so done with this treatment, right then, I wasn't in charge of my actions. My fists curled up and my stance became a lot more defensive. My head snapped up to the alpha to be, and I looked him in the eye. "You don't know the meaning of the word disrespect." I suddenly hurled my fist towards his head, which he easily dodged, but my foot came up and kicked him instead. He stumbled backwards from the force with wide eyes. "You... you Actually hit me!" He didn't even sound annoyed, more shocked. Everyone in the hallway was watching, waiting for the alpha to do something but instead he simply stood up straight, regaining his composure. "I think everyone should get back to class." He began to walk away, following his sister when I called him back. "What about Nick?!" "Simple, He's my sisters mate. He now belongs to her." Argh, he's not an object. "He's not her property." A chuckle left his mouth, before turning his back to me again. "All humans are property." A short while later everyone made it to science class, our teacher Mrs Mathews is mated to the lycans pack doctor, she also now has a four and two year old with him. She was one of the first humans to be cohered into a false relationship. "What were you thinking young lady?" I rolled my head at her before looking at the empty seat next to mine. Nick was with that stvpid wolf girl right now. Being changed, I'm so angry it's ridiculous. "I was thinking, this guy is being a prick. Did you hear him? 'All humans are property.' It's bull shet." I looked up and the whole class looked at me like I had three heads. Talking shet about wolves is one thing, but talking about an alpha is punishable by death, attacking an alpha is an even worse offense. There was then a knock at the door and in walked Erin and her band of mated bestards. "Sorry we're late Mrs." "Erin, how are things between you and bata Monroe?" She blushed, the traitor actually blushed at the mention of his name. "He spoke to me last night about trying for a baby. We need a good strong boy to take over as beta." I scoffed looking at her as she took her seat. "You guys are actually pathetic, why can't it be a girl? Those mutts are basically Neanderthals" I voiced my opinion and saw all the shocked faces around me. Calling the lycans mutts, is the same as them calling us scum. After lesson had ended the entire school was called into the hall for assembly. This is where any human who has been found to have broken the rules were punished, usually 10 lashings were goven out or something similar. "Welcome to the school assembly, congratulations to the alpha twins for finding both your mates. Now on to the business at hand, as the 5 year anniversary of the new world is coming up, we have been informed that the alpha king will be visiting our district next week, this is very exciting news. We want you all to look your absolute best, she wolves and mated females will wear exemplary dresses made by seamstress. Male wolves and mated men will wear tailored suits. Anyone who doesn't comply will be reprimanded." The Alpha King?! No one has met him yet, he took over the throne three years ago when he turned 18. He really didn't make any appearances though, great, this month is going to be a nightmare. "As for the humans, you will be given a new uniform to wear for the visit, these are to be neatly ironed and worn to the highest standard. As for the following humans, based on your attitude this past week, you will be coming to the front and facing punishment. Tony summerset?!" Tony's head shot up as he looked around, he was in the year below but he shared my views when it came to the lycans. He slowly walked up to the front of assembly, almost instantly his top was t0rn in two and he received 10 lashings. A girl named Kara was next and she too received 10 lashings. A few more people went up slowly accepting their fate then suddenly my name was called. "Dylan Riley." Inside I was terrified but I simply shrugged my shoulders, I guess I did kind of expect this. Although I'm not sure if my back can take any more damage. "You attacked an alpha, correct!" His eyes bored into mine as I bowed my head submitting to his authority. "Technically, no." Everyone in the school gym looked on in fear, as my head moved to the front row of the wolf side. Adrian sat, with a werewolf girl in the year below, her name was Jana, I guess he found his mate. Nick and Arya were no where to be seen though. Adrian gave me a shrug as if to say he didn't tell, before smirking at my comment. "He hasn't officially taken the alpha title yet, so he's just..." i looked at the principle and noticed his eyes black and his claws out, he was in what lycans call a half shift, triggered when the subject has become angered. He turned to two security wolves and gave them a nod, Almost immediately i was forced onto my knees, my arm was slammed on a table and held in place by one wolf, while my body was held in place by the other. "Ok, I don't think this is needed, I have alpha blood, a stvpid human girl can't hurt me." My head snapped to Adrian who had stood up in front of the school to stop what was happening. "Nevertheless, humans need to know their place." With that the pressure on my arm increased as our principals hand pulled my sleeve up before a long claw punctured my skin. The searing pain shoting from the fresh wound had my eyes scrunched and my fist clenched, I bit the inside of my cheek hard instantly tasting blood, however no sound left my mouth. He continued to write, using my skin as a canvas and his claws as a marker, it went on forever, my vision blurred slightly at one point as I turned my head away. After minutes of torture, he was done and the pressure on my arm eased, instantly I snatched my arm away, hissing through my teeth at the pain. I was about to scurry off stage, when I was roughly grabbed yet again, my arm being held in the air by the principal while my feet were inches off the floor, blood dripped from the wound and the pattern he had made was on show for everyone to see. Loads of people gasped, even the wolves looked slightly horrified at what had happened. "This is what happens when a human decides to speak out. I can promise, anyone who so much as says one word about our way of life, will have the same punishment." My arm was starting to seriously ache from being held in the air for so long, and the lack of blood flow to my suspended arm was causing me pins and needles, still I refused to make a sound. I held the tears back and I bit my cheek harder causing more blood to fill my mouth. "That's enough Bradley!" Adrian growled, he was still stood up and looking at the scene in front of him. His eyes hard as he stared at the principal a low warning growl erupted from his chest which had the head teacher gulping, he quickly let go of my arm causing me to crash to the floor. A small cry left my mouth as I hit the hard floor. Immediately I scrambled away, my foot just missed the high step leading to the stage and I fell, waiting for the impact of the ground, but it never came. Two strong arms wrapped around me catching my weak body causing me to look up, my eyes widened as I noticed Adrian had caught my falling form. "This isn't part of the human punishment program!" Adrian growled causing me to tense in his grip, I pushed him away from me before fixing my uniform top. The room was deadly silent, taking in the scene in front of them, while I stole a glance at my forearm. Carved into my skin by his devastating claws were two words, words that would most definitely scar my body for life. 'Human scum' "Lessons must be learned, she received lashing merely two days ago, and clearly it had no effect on her." Another growl left Adrian's chest as he stepped on to the stage, I wasn't bothered though, you would think I'd be ashamed but I simply smiled slightly. I fixed my sleeve a little so it wouldn't rub on the fresh wound before speaking. "It doesn't matter," the whole room looked at me shocked by my attitude. "I would rather be labeled human scum, than have any resemblance to your kind. I'm proud of what I am, how many of you can say that?" After my amazing little speech, I walked right down the middle between the humans and lycans and out the door. No more compliance, I'm going to get away with as much as I can without getting into too much bother. There will come a day when the lycans power will fizzle out. When it does I'll be ready, I'll be waiting for the day we take our world back. As for the best part about my plan...

No one can stop me.

"Ouch, not so hard." I seethed as the school nurse cleaned my new wound with antiseptic. "If you had of just kept your mouth shut, this wouldn't have happened." I turned to my right looking out the window at the few clouds that were floating in the blue sky. "Like I said, I'm proud to be human, and now everyone knows what I am." I clenched my fist together as the nurse began wrapping a bandage around my forearm. It had been a good few hours since the incident in the hall, and I had been forced to come to the nurces office after I had tried to clean my wound by splashing it with water from the tap, it also refused to stop bleeding. "You are impossible. Can you please just try and stay out of trouble? For one day, that's all I ask." Our school nurse is a wolf, she's one of them. However she hates the way they treat us mere humans, she thinks we should all just live in peace with equal rights. Like that would ever happen. "All I've done is stay out of trouble, but you are just going to humiliate me anyway, so what's the actual point?" "The pack were discussing a public execution, Dylan. You need to walk on egg shells from now on, not just for you but for your family as well." No ones been publicly executed in over 4 months, I'm flattered they're considering it. They only execute people who they believe are the biggest problems to society. "Well then... I'm flattered." I chuckled, before looking at the patch job. 'Huh, not too shabby.' I quickly stood up from the human nursing station and pulled the sleeve of my shirt down covering the evidence of ever being hurt. "This is serious!" I just gave her a blank look before leaving the room. On the way out I heard her call back to me. "Please just think about it." I gave a clipped nod as I walked away wondering how I'm going to tell my mom about this. Later in the evening... "Dilly why you say that?" Freddie looked up at me with a mouth full of bread. "Don't speak with your mouthful!" My mom scolded him as a bashful blush made its way to his cheeks. "Sowwy mommy." His reply was muffled as he swallowed the last chunk of food. "I said it Freddie, because it's the truth. The wolf race are a pathetic excuse for..." my mom cut me off with an extremely stern look. "Dylan! They have ears everywhere, one more word out of you and it's your room." I scowled, my hatred for the Lycan kind growing stronger as each day passes. "What more can they do to me, lash me? Beat me? Brand me? They've ran out of options." I stated slamming my hands down, then severely regretting it as sharp pain shot though my wound. "What was that?" My head shot to regard my mothers worried expression. Her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were dull and judging as she looked at me. "Nothing, it was nothing." I quickly took my plate in my hand and began to walk to the kitchen. "I'm not really hungry, and I have homework to do!" My mom caught hold of my forearm causing me to drop my plate suddenly, I watched it slowly fall before shattering on the floor. I retracted my arm quickly and turned to Freddie. "Stay there and don't move until it's cleaned up ok sport?" He just nodded with wide eyes, I turned back to my mom and noticed her curious stare on my arm. Her grip shifted to the other side as she turned it around before pulling my sleeve up. The bandage was showing and a bit of blood was seeping though after the wound had been disturbed. "What the hel happened?" My moms eyes widened as she began to fumble with the bandage. Before she could unravel any of it I snatched my arm away. "I had an accident at school. No big." I began to gather the large pieces of the broken plate up ready to put them in the bin. "What did you do Dylan?" She looked at me with pure worry and only then did I realize what the wound must look like to someone who didn't know. "For gods sake! I didn't do it to myself! I got publicly punished at the assembly alright? It's no big deal." Her face dropped instantly and she stepped towards me, causing me to step backwards. "Mom, I'm ok. So back off will you." "What did you do? I've never known them to cut someone's arm as a punishment." Her shock and accusation was evident in her voice and I sighed heavily. "I spoke against the alphas son." I may have hit him too, but I wasn't going to divulge that part to her. "It's not one big cut, mom, it's a brand, 'human scum' carved onto my arm." "They've branded you now too?!" My eyes rolled at her hurt tone as I went to get the dustpan and brush. "You're so much like your father." A sigh left her mouth as she spoke, running a hand through her hair, while I quickly swept up the little pieces of the broken plate. "You've had a new uniform delivered. It's laid out on your bed. Dylan, Please just try and stay respectful in the future, I don't want my daughter to be completely mutilated. Although you're not far off." "Gee, Thanks." I then walked over to my little brother Freddy before blowing a kiss into his neck and hearing him giggle. "So sport, how's school going?" "It's ok." He shrugged before going back to coloring a dinosaur picture in. "Well that's good, stay out of trouble, ok little man?" Heading upstairs and into my room, my thoughts wandered to the permanent graffiti scar very slowly healing on my arm. Disgusting beasts. Think they own the world because they're faster, stronger and can shift. Pah. If you ask me they are not all that.

The second I walked into my room my mouth dropped open. On my bed was some grey pants laid out neatly, which wasn't the surprising part, no, what shocked me was the grey high neck no sleeved button down shirt, every single set of uniform had sleeves except this one. They've done this on purpose those, mutts. They want the world to see my arm and know what a disgusting creature I am. They want the world to know that I, Dylan Riley, am nothing more than 'human scum'.

During the last week, I've been horrible, in class I've been loud in voicing my views, I've insulted at least everyone to some degree, I didn't care about the consequences, and I certainly didn't think about them. I haven't seen Nick at all since he was claimed, and to make matters worse today was the royal visit. Oh yes, werewolves and mated humans alike were spending every waking minute preparing themselves to meet his royal majesty, king of the wolves. Unclaimed Humans however would rather stick pins in their eyes. "Dylan, get down now... you're going to be late." She was right, I was dawdling this morning, I really couldn't be bothered today, I gave myself one last look in the small mirror and sighed when my eyes met my newly uncovered brand. It had bad bruising around the letters, and was still extremely tender to touch, it was definitely healing now though. I made my way down the stairs and came face to face with my mother who was seeing to Freddie, she was helping my brother get his coat on when she turned to me. "You ready sport?" Freddie nodded his little head at me and smiled while I quickly slid my shoes on. "Just Remember, the alpha is bad enough, Dylan, please, please don't do anything to anger the king." My mother stopped us from walking out the door to tell me something she had been telling me continuously for the last couple of days, it was almost as if the entire human population of our district was expecting me to do something stvpid. "Try and have a good day." I rolled my eyes but nodded, even I know not to push the king, he could kil me in the hallway like it was nothing. In fact I plan on staying out of his way for the entirety of the day. "We will see you tonight mom." I stated before me and my brother began our walk to school, his little hand clutched my own tightly as we went. Usually Nick would be with us, as he lives next door, well he used to, now he's residing in the main pack house. I quickly dropped Freddie off at his school and watched him get the wolfsbane neutralizer before walking into him building giving me a small wave before he went in. With my new scar on complete show, and my figure being complimented by the skin tight shirt I was wearing, I sauntered down the street to school, I gave my name and year in and took the wolf's bane neutralizer injection with no problems at all. It was finally getting into school that the problem occurred. Walking through the halls I was met by many looks, some of pity some of disgust. You see every single non mated human in the school was wearing a long sleeved version of the uniform I was given. All the Wolves and mated couples were scattered around in fancy floor length dresses or tailored suits. As I turned the corner I noticed a couple, now this couple happened to catch my eye the most out of all of them because it consisted of Arya and Nick, eating each other's faces off. "What the hel!" Nicks head shot to me as his eyes widened. He too was dressed in a tailored suit, a navy blue tie hung on his neck to match Aryas dress. Why was this happening all the time? It's always my friends that get completely brain washed. I shook my head in disbelief before turning my back on him. I heard his fast footsteps behind me as I rounded the corner. "Dylan?!" He ran right in front of me, stopping me in my tracks, making me drop my bag off my shoulder and almost causing me to bump into him. "Let me just explain..." "Has she marked you?" I mean you could almost see it in his eyes, she had marked him, and knowing the way life goes he's probably even mated with her. "Actually... Don't even answer that." I aggressively picked my bag up off of the floor and stormed off down the hall. "Dylan, just listen to me, Erin was right, it's so hard to resist your soulmate, and Arya is actually ok once you get to know her." I just kept walking, he caught up to me walking beside me but it didn't matter, I completely ignored everything and everyone. 'I'm so not in the mood today' getting into class was good though, I said hello to Mr Foley and took my usual seat. Nick sighed then took his bag off ready to sit next to me, but I snapped before he had the chance. "Traitors and mated idiots sit on that side of the room." I didn't look him in the eye as I pointed to a seat right at the front of the classroom on the opposite side. His eyes widened as he turned his attention back to me. "You can't be serious Dylan." I gave him a blank look before grabbing my book out of my backpack, I placed it on the desk then began to write the date on the top line. "I've sat in this seat for as long as I can remember." I ignored him, his voice sounded sad and shocked. "Dylan? Wait! What is that?!" Before I could react Nick had grabbed hold of my branded arm and turned it to see the letters. "Oh my God! What happened?" I snatched my arm away from him and shrugged as I continued to write in my book before grabbing my water bottle out of my bag. "The principal happened, it was my punishment for speaking out against Adrian and Arya. I wear it with pride." He just held a complete look of disbelief. "You spoke out against them?" I shrugged, what did he think I'd do. "It's no secret that I despise this stvpid new world and the mutts that control it. You were my friend, I wasn't going to let them just take you without saying something, although that is exactly what you seem to have done. Enjoy the view from your new seat!" "Don't be like that, Dylan, I'm your best friend, I'm sorry about your arm, but..." my eyes rolled inside my head at my friends words. "Anything with the word 'but' in, isn't an apology, it's a rationalization." I took a drink of water from my bottle and kept my eyes facing forward, ignoring his every attempt to try and talk to me. "Dylan?.. Dylan?... Do you know what? Erin is right, if you push us all away you won't have any friends left." He huffed before walking over to the empty seat and sitting down, I could feel him glancing up at me every now and again but I didn't respond. "Good morning class, please settle down." He looked at me then at Nick and frowned, we've never sat apart, we were friends before the new world even began. I just shook my head telling him to forget it. "So... as you know the king will be arriving in a short while, but until then lessons will go on as normal." Its funny seeing teachers in the same uniform your wearing, mr Foley and his wife are the coolest. Human teachers and doctors only have slightly more respect than we do. Because of Mr Foley's status him and his wife have better access to food and drink, Mrs Foley is cool, sometimes she even makes sure mr Foley brings some in for me. Ya know, coz I'm their favorite student. It's not in a weird way, it's just they were friends of the family before the new wold took effect. Mr Foley and my dad were buddies from high school, so it goes without sayin really. "All the mated humans will be at the front of each years line again, after that you will all be placed in status, Nick, as your mated to Alpha Arya, you'll be at the front of your line. Dylan as you have been branded..." his voice trailed off as he looked at me. "Yeah yeah, I'll be at the back of the line behind everyone. I get it." I huffed, moving my sight towards the window once more. "I am sorry." I turned to face Mr Foley again, he looked genuinely upset and that look of pity wasn't something I wanted to see. I gave him a clipped nod then turned away again. "Anyway, on to the subject matter, 'Of Mice and Men, page 64, Nick why don't you start us off with the reading."

"Of course sir." Nick began reading the book but I switched off, today is going to be a long day. After almost an hour and a half of reading comprehension, the bell chimed signaling lunch. I shot up and out of the classroom before anyone could say anything. Today, I was avoiding drama like the plague.

I wandered the corridors straight to the lunch hall. All the people I would normally hang out with we're all mated so I grabbed my lunch quickly, and sat down at the end of the human table. Let me lay the lunch hall out for you. On one side of the room you have two long rows of tables, with simple benches that make it look like prison, on the other side of the room you have multiple round tables with fancy chairs. Yup you get it. The humans sit at the prison tables and the wolves and traitors sit on the fancy tables, they get fancy food, fancy drink and most importantly they get pudding. what I would give to have some pudding. "Dylan can we just talk?" Nick quickly took the spot next to me as he set his lunch tray down. I looked at his food which had been placed on a ceramic, circular white plate. God that looked good. I sighed knowing he was going to talk anyway. "Fine, you have two minutes." I used my fork to take a bit of pasta off his plate and shoved it into my mouth. God that was good. "After I left school, I was taken to the pack house with Arya, and I really got to know her. It took a few days for me to finally accept being with her, but ever since life has been ok, and the sax... well that's a whole other story." Eww, I didn't need that mental image in my head. "I'm glad your happy." I stated before deciding I had no appetite. His face held shock before he sighed in relief. "That means a lot Dylan, I mean you know that your opinion matters to me." I cut him off before he could say anything else. "I said I was glad your happy. I didn't say I approved of what you've done. You've basically turned into one of THEM, I can't ever forgive you for that." He looked hurt, but I couldn't care less about his feelings. He placed his hand gently on my arm and went to open his mouth when a growl sounded out. All heads whipped to where it came from, Arya was stood holding a glass of soda and a plate, she was looking right at me and Nick and I would totally be dead if looks could kil. Nick quickly retracted his hand, his whole face fell and you could see sorrow flood his irises. "You sit with me now, get away from that, that... scum!" Wow, Nick was such a lucky guy. NOT. "You heard her. Get away from me, go sit with your new friends. I'm happy for you, and I understand where your coming from, but don't come up to me again and pretend you didn't betray your own kind. Don't pretend you didn't betray me." I shoved a little bit of food into my mouth before standing up and walking out of the cafeteria, leaving my tray on the table. I was walking through the hallway to the classroom, you see I decided to spend lunch with Mr Foley in his room, when I happened to hear voices in the corridor. "Is it wise for her to actually be present when the king arrives? Surely she could be placed in the dungeons, it might actually teach her some respect?" My principal was speaking to the alpha of our district, huh, if I stayed and listened do you think they'd notice, maybe they could smell me?! "Everyone is to be present, if the Riley girl does one thing out of line she will be dealt with severely, child or not. That girl has been a blight to the district since day one, she's dangerous, if she puts one hair out of place I will personally break her into submission." Oh shet, they were talking about me specifically, and they mentioned the dungeon, that's not been used in months. Normally I would have listened in more but something about the entire situation didn't sit right with me, all of a sudden, I was on edge, and simply wasn't interested in the slightest in hearing how my misery was to be enhanced. I backed up slightly before turning around and bumping head first into one of the hottest man I had ever seen. I lost my balance immediately and fell straight on to the floor letting out a small grumble in the process. His eyebrows knitted together quickly and his breath hitched in his throat as he looked upon my fallen state and gasped. "Mate!" He whispered, his eyes fixated on mine. Now, I had seen and heard that many times to know what that means, I gasped before taking a step back. 'No, no, no, no, no. This can not be happening.' He growled slightly before stepping towards me. Oh Shet!

Fresh out of college and board exams at 21, I immediately started earning a living and providing what I can for the family. Call me a breadwinner if you may. A lot has changed in my life, from profession to last name, but providing for my first family has always been a constant for me. I am 30 years old now.
In 2020, my parents decided to end their marriage after I stepped in and gave them an ultimatum on what they wanted to happen with their relationship and our family. I basically got tired from all the scream battles and breaking things in the house, or everyone giving everyone cold treatment, there was no in between. There was a point where my father was nothing but deflective and even physically abusive to me and my siblings (especially the youngest, got beaten up multiple times). Mother was just always emotionally-absent and dismissive. I was 26 then, my younger sister 24, and our youngest brother 21.
In the process of their separation, dad wanted to sell our family home, take half of the money and go back to his parents to a far island province. Mom strongly refused, but I told her that if they really are separating, there's no point in keeping the house, and that I will help her get another house to live in (which I did). She did many ways to convince dad not to sell the house but dad was not budging, so she reluctantly gave in in the end.
In 2022, my dad would frequently message me and my siblings how he was deeply regretful of his decision to leave, he was sick and apparently running out of the money he took from selling our family home. He asked to let him live with us again. At this time my mother was in a new relationship and they were kind of on&off living together, my siblings and I were living our separate adult lives too. We forgave him, but obviously what he asked was impossible because there was nowhere to return to.
In December 2023, on the day of my mother's birthday, my father died. He was a heavy drinker up to his 30s, but more than that he was a chainsmoker, I guess up until he couldn't smoke anymore. Some may say it was only a matter of time for those to catch up to him, especially because he was never health-conscious, never had a good diet and never exercised properly.
I saw it coming the day he left us, but it still devastated me. I remember how much I admired and loved my father, or at least the version of him before he turned to his abusive ways. He was my superman and top comedian as a kid. He was all that before the marriage and money problems began.
What hurts more was that we were not able to go to his wake and burial because of financial problems. Despite that I still took a loan to give my aunt money for his hospital, funeral and burial expenses. It was the best I can do, as going there is so costly I would rather help them bury my father properly with the money, even if it means I would not see the remains of him one last time. It still hurts a lot. I am trying to move on day by day, but there is a large hole in my heart now he is gone, and I can't even visit his grave.
Fast forward to yesterday, my brother messaged our mom for me about something because I am not currently in good and talking terms with her, and I promise you it was for a very valid reason. My brother showed me what mother said to him about how she is so stressed about me not wanting to talk to her, about how she wanted to just leave and disappear because she is not wanted, the usual gaslighting lines. Honestly, she was always like this. She never acknowledged anyone's struggle but her own. She can make bad decisions but we were only allowed to sympathize because we can now understand things as adults, even if we got hurt or are still hurt.
What I cannot fathom about everything she said to my brother was how she "finally understood why my father left us". And that she might just do the same until the last of her remaining days, saying she is "ready". She said she plans on going home to her hometown with her siblings so they can take care of her since we would not do it. At this time she is living in a house I bought using her money from selling our family home as downpayment, and my own income to pay for the remaining balance monthly under a 30-year loan.
I always knew she was not happy about how I convinced her to let the family home go and start again. I made peace with that indifference knowing it was the way to stop all the abuse and let everyone move on. What I was not aware of is how she thinks it was my fault (or her children's fault) that my father wanted to leave in the first place. How she can have the audacity to say that is shaking me to my very core, thinking how much trauma we got from their toxic marriage. So much trauma that I decided I never want to have kids.
I feel almost betrayed at this point, knowing all these revelation from her and after all I have done for the family for the last nine years. To be fair, I always had that sinking feeling that I everything I do will never be enough, now I can confirm it is true. I am so hurt that I do not want to have anything to do with her until she dies. But I know that my love and understanding for her will always kick in. I'm just lucky I live quite far from her now so I can physically distance myself at least.
But how do you go from here?

I'll be leaving uni for home in a few days time, but I just got off the phone after talking with my parents and siblings and had felt triggered about the past 2 years and how I almost commited suicide because of all the stress and pressure of putting up with what had transpired. For context, I'm 24 (F) in my last year of uni, and I have two brothers 30(M) and (5M) who live with my parents (Both in their late 50's), who live in the country side. I had been diagnosed with heart disease when I was in highschool and since then things have been tough for me, with losing all my weight and having to go through three different schools just to complete high school because of my health, but since then I have got the hang of taking care of myself and my symptoms, I have gained weight, made it to uni (which was a suprise not only to myself but my teachers as well) and am almost done with uni, and I could not be prouder. However, this past week has been a roller coaster, with thoughts of committing suicide lurking in every corner, I didn't know why at first but after talking to my parents on the phone bits of memories came flooding back to me about how I thought I reached my point of living and that my heart was gonna give out any moment or that it would be better if I'd just off myself with that sharp knife in the corner by slitting my wrists open. You see, my mum had this really bad lung infection the Christmas of 2022 while I was home for the holidays, and I took on most of the responsibility of taking care of her from 5am in the morning to the next morning where I'd sleep at 3am after ensuring she was okay, then wake up to do it all again. Don't get me wrong, I loved taking care of my mum, it made me happy that I could be there when she was at her weakest to lend her the strength and care she deserved after taking care of me all these years. It all happened one afternoon when my brother has come home afted being gone all day and did not even receive an earful from my parents (or mainly my dad) like I did for being out for just 2 hours to unwind from taking care of my mum and nursing her back to health all while not having any contact with friends or the outside world then our yard for almost 2 months, I was called selfish by my dad and told that my actions were stupid that if my mum would die I'd look stupid crying for her just like my mum's sister who chose to go out and meet friends the day her father died, that I was supposed to be at home with mum taking care of her. My dad is a stay at home dad, my older brother dropped out of college and my mum is the sole bread winner of the family. While my mum was sick, my dad would get groceries, attend to church meetings, ensure the yard was kept clean lend a hand when it was needed with caring for mum while my brother ate, slept on time, had time to meet friends, throw his plates in the sink without washing them and not lending a hand with helping mum. Meanwhile I spent my days bathing her, dressing her, feeding her, massaging her body, changing her hot water in her mugs to ensure she stayed hydrated because that's all she could drink without coughing , cleaning her sleeping area and sanitizing it everytime she had to go to bed after a warm bath as well as watching over her as she slept to ensure her pillows were placed in a way that didn't obstruct her airflow all while also ensuring that everyone's laundry was done and put away, food was cooked and served, plates were washed and put away, my little brother was cared for also while doing part of my dad's work around the house to ensure he got enoughg sleep at night, since we lived by the country side there were a lot of chores to do around the house as most of the things were done manually or by hand. I did this until she got back on her feet and was able to do little things around the house without my help. After a week or two when my mum had improved told my parents that I'll be gone the next day after lunch to see my friend and that normally before mum got sick Friday was a free day for me that I get an off day of doing house work. So the day came, I dressed up (I felt pretty after not being able to do that in a whole) and left after ensuring that my big brother was home to assist mum whenever she needed and also checked on my mum to see if she was okay and that she didn't need my help before I stepped out of the house at 2pm. The walk to my friend's house felt like heaven, with sun in my face, the breeze on my face and the skip in my step. I spent the afternoon talking, laughing and having a good time with my friend before going home at 5pm, happy and satisfied that the day had brought me so much joy and relieved my stress. I got and came in with a big Hello, to everyone in the house, my dad didn't say anything, he just sat there looking so mad. And that's when he proceeded to call me selfish and compare me to my mother's sister all while my mother and brother sat there saying nothing, I atleast thought they would've spoken up to say that I needed the break, but they didn't. I cried as ai stood there listening to my dad utter out harsh words until I couldn't listen to him anymore. I proceeded muster up a less shaky voice and said the following "I apologies for going out to see my friend and I apologies mum and dad it won't happen again, but the thing is I needed this, after taking care of mum and the house I just needed a break. My brother gets to go out, meet friend and talk to them and even stay out till late but he never gets scolded but when I do it's different. I do everything in this house, I take care of mum, wash all of your clothes, cook the food, feed you all and even wash up after everything and you big brother can't even wash your own plate or lend a hand. Oh and dad I spend the time I get after mum finally rests during the day to do some of your chores to cut down the amount of time you spend doing them in order for you to get a good night's rest and I go to sleep early in the morning just to wake up after 2 hours and do it all again. So I'm sorry that I had to go out, but I really needed it." After saying all that, I went up to my room and cried the whole night. The next morning I came downstairs at 10am to find my dad washing up and my mum on her phone, it was a quiet day, I thought my brother was in his room, then the we got heard that he had actually left in the morning to go visit my aunt who is a 30 minute drive from our house, where he spent the day hanging out with friends and cousins before coming back home at 6pm with my grandma who came to spend a week with us. My dad upon hearing the news that my brother was had left in the morning just shook his head and said that my brother should have stayed and lend a hand around the house, but after my brother got back I was hoping he'd get the same scolding my dad gave me, well that never happened. I went to my mum and asked her why wasn't daddy scolding my big brother and she did not say anything so I spoke up and said aloud, "wow, so I get a scolding for staying out for just 3 hours but he gets to stay out for an entire day without helping out around here and he gets welcomed home?" I then went to my room because I didn't want them to see the tears that started to fall, then it hit me when I was in my room crying, everything that happened over the years on how differently I was treated, my accomplishments my birthday's and even my sickness. It hit me how differently I was treated, my brother had big graduation foods prepared and his graduations were celebrated from primary all the way to high school and little courses while I just had a well done from my parents even after taking in prices since I was in elementary, thought they'd take me out to eat a celebratory lunch after my high school graduation because it was the hardest part of my life to pass but all I got was a disgusted look and a 'thats what your wearing?' after at my graduation after I took my gown off to take pictures. I can't remember the time I blew out candles for my birthday or when a party was thrown for me, but my brother somehow has a cake for most of his birthdays and he had a really big party once with four big cakes, a whole roasted pig, lots of food and even had all his friends invited. When i reaches the age of 14, the same age he was when my parents threw him a party, I thought I'd have the same too, but I didn't, and still had not one party until I turned 24. The day I turned 23, was a month after my mum got better, I spent the whole day cooking for everyone, was wished happy birthday after realising it was my birthday, I then told them I'd come down to eat later after I take a nap and that they should serve the food and leave mine on the dining table. I came down to find they ate most of the food, and I was only placed only a bit of food in my plate. I got mad and hit my plate on the table with just a little food spilling over, my dad saw this and screamed at me and told me that my future husband would beat me up and that my life will be miserable and bad because of what I did. Well you guessed it, I went back to my room crying, and that blade in my bag looked so tempting against my wrists. I also remember when my brother dropped out of college that I was blamed by my parents, with my dad telling me on my way back from the grocery store that I'm the reason my brother ended up like how he is because they show me too much favour growing up. And when my big brother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after dropping out of college after misuse of alcohol and drugs my mum religiously took to the internet to search for diets, information and everything to do with it until he became better and she continued doing so for every little sickness like flu, meanwhile my heart disease was never on her search list. She even signed up for YouTube videos and lessons on everything to do with my brother health, and mind you my heart disease was diagnosed 6 years before he got bipolar. I left for school after the holidays, still exhausted and stressed from the entire experience. My body had reached its lowest point, I could feel my heart was tired, I was ready to die in my bed in my dorm, I had made peace that if my heart passed out before while rest I'd be okay with it. That's third year of uni was hell for me, my body never really recovered, I kept getting sick, had malaria countless times as well as typhoid three times in a row the same year. The stress combined with with the state of my immunity caused me to be sent to various medical officers and clinics to get my blood samples and x-rays to find what was wrong with me, why after being treated and cured my body felt sick. They thought I had tuberculosis, others thought I had STI's but all tests came back negative, and mind you all these tests cost money and my parents weren't happy with what they were spending for me to get this tests. It came to a point when I called my mum to tell her that I feel really sick and I'm stressed with my assignments, only for her to say "you're always sick, everytime we call you're sick. Don't you know we're tired of this, stop trying to get sick!". I'm tired of getting sick too mum, I thought to myself as I got off the call and stared at the pile of medicine Infront of me prescribed by the doctor as well as my heart meds, and they were too much, my mum's words over the phone kept playing in my head I I got my the blade on my study table and pressed it into my left wrist lightly drew it over to cut the skin, the pain felt soothinf, calming even, then I wondered how it would feel if I placed the knife on my study table and fell on it to pierce my heart, would the pain feel good? Would the thoughts stop? Would mum stop complaining? Would they mis me? What would happen to my body? Then I thought better of it and wrote in my dairy ro stop myself from doing ealxactly that then I was distracted by my medicine Infront of me with thoughts of "they would never know if you take all these and overdose, it'll be a painless death." The remainder of third year continued like these, with sickness and suicide thoughts until I went for job internship at a company I've always wanted to work in and life was good because i didnt for home for the holidays and I spent the holidays at school in my little dorm room with friends who looked out for me. Then 2024 rolled around and I'm properly rested, no stress and I'm happy. That's is until a month ago when my parents bought me my ticket to go back home to see them for the holidays that I spiralled, I had completely locked those memories away, but after every phone call this past month I'm left a crying mess with flashes of words said and feelings felt during that time and I go back to thinking of suicide. I nearly commited suicide on the 16th of may, i was truly gonna go throught with it, I wanted to so bad if only I did not see the bible verses in front of me amd if my roommates hadn't come back early. But I know, if I do go home now, I might actually commit suicide, if something like what happened in the past happens again, or if they say another harsh word, I wouldn't think twice of dying, because I'm done, I truly am.

Finn Tresscoat, a 20-year-old with short dark brown hair, brown eyes, and a pale complexion, strolled down the sidewalk of his small town. He wore a light brown leather jacket over a black shirt, paired with black jeans and black-and-white sneakers.
As Finn ambled along, he glanced at the many shops lining the main road of the town's bustling center. He wasn't searching for anything in particular; he simply wanted to enjoy the rare day off from his job, one of the most perilous occupations in the United West (U.W.).
"Finn! Oh, Finn!"
Finn turned his head to the right and spotted Ms. Tori Elortor, or simply Ms. Tori as he called her. She was an older lady in her early fifties, though her youthful appearance often surprised the townsfolk. With long white hair cascading down her back, pale skin, and bright hazel eyes, she was a striking figure. Today, she wore a navy blue sundress over a pair of tight blue jeans and brown cowboy boots.
Ms. Tori, the local bakery owner, was considered quite attractive and often caught the eye of the younger men in town. Her curvaceous figure and active lifestyle, including regular yoga sessions in the park, only added to her allure. However, Finn saw her differently. Having known her since childhood and feeling like part of her family, he saw her as a maternal figure rather than anything else. He was also close to her son, Eric, feeling like an older brother to him.
Despite his demanding job, which kept him busy for nearly twenty-four-seven, Finn always tried to visit Ms. Tori and Eric whenever he could. Today was a rare opportunity for him to relax and reconnect.
"Ah, hi Ms. Tori! How are you today?" Finn greeted her with a warm smile.
Ms. Tori returned his smile. "I'm just fine, Finn. The real question is, how are you? I haven't seen you in months!" Her tone shifted to one of concern. "I was worried, and so was Eric. You do have quite a dangerous job for someone so young," she added.
What kind of dangerous job did Finn have, you might ask?
Well, Finn was a "Gaunt Hunter," a member of a specialized group tasked with safeguarding the small towns outside the major cities in the United West from creatures known as Gaunts.
These slim, humanoid creatures had leathery black skin, no eyes or nose, and wide mouths that drooled a strange dark green liquid. They had emerged after the cataclysmic "Decade of Winter."
The Gaunts varied in form and capability. Some were very muscular, while others had bat-like wings, allowing them to fly. They were also cunning, often creating weapons from scavenged materials and hunting in packs.
Disturbingly, these were just the common variants.
There were tales of Gaunts resembling animals and some that could even speak, though Finn himself had never encountered such anomalies.
Despite the ominous title of Gaunt Hunter, Finn's role wasn't as glamorous as one might imagine.
He wasn't a high-tech, gadget-wielding hero. Gaunt Hunters received training similar to regular police officers, focusing on the use of firearms. However, since firearms were not commonly traded or shipped to the smaller towns outside the major cities, Gaunt Hunters were also taught to wield swords, knives, and other melee weapons, as well as trained in close-range combat.
Finn had been trained to fire a pistol but also learned to fight with a machete, which was more practical for their needs than a traditional sword. On duty, he carried a standard-issue Glock-17 and a machete strapped to his side. He also wore the standard protective gear issued to United West Security Forces (UWSF) officers.
Returning to the conversation with Ms. Tori, Finn let out a lighthearted chuckle. "Dangerous for most of the veterans on the job, but I'm young and fit! Practically invincible!" he said with a grin.
Ms. Tori gave Finn an unimpressed look, raising an eyebrow. "Is that right?" she asked. "Then what's this I hear about a Gaunt nearly taking your head off just last week?"
Finn's face flushed with embarrassment as he recalled the incident. A Gaunt had caught him off guard and nearly decapitated him with a makeshift axe. "Okay... yeah, fair enough," he admitted, looking down.
Ms. Tori's expression softened, and she gave him a few light taps on the shoulder. "Oh, I'm not trying to make you feel bad, Finn, I'm just reminding you that your job is dangerous… You need to be careful," she said gently.
Finn looked up at her and nodded. "I know, and thank you for caring," he replied. Inwardly, he thought, 'It's not like anyone else does'
"Of course, I care, Finn," Ms. Tori said firmly. "Do you know how devastated I'd be if you got hurt or, heaven forbid, died? I'd be heartbroken,” she told him. “Eric would be even worse off, after all, who would play with him?"
Finn felt a wave of warmth at her words. Despite not wanting to worry Ms. Tori or Eric, it was comforting to know there were people who cared about him, and who wanted him to stay safe and come back home. "I guess you're right," he said with a soft smile. "I'll try to be more careful out there, I promise,”
Ms. Tori nodded, her smile lingering. "Good,” she said. “Now, how many days do you have off?" she asked.
"Not many," Finn replied with a sigh. "Just today,"
Ms. Tori's eyes widened in shock. "Only today? Why?" She asked.
Finn's expression turned serious. "Many of the other Gaunt Hunters are either dead, retiring, or switching to become cops... There are only ten of us left in the entire town,"
Ms. Tori's eyes widened in horror. Gaunt Hunters were the primary defense against the Gaunts. The law across the U.W. dictated that local law enforcement dealt with human issues, leaving Gaunt-related threats to the Hunters. The thought of their numbers dwindling was terrifying.
Each town was supposed to have a contingent of Gaunt Hunters, given that small towns were the primary targets for Gaunt attacks.
Major cities, in contrast, rarely had to deal with Gaunts.
The dense populations of these urban centers acted as a deterrent, scaring off most Gaunt packs. Even if a small group of Gaunts did manage to attack, the cities were equipped with heavy weaponry and advanced defenses, making Gaunt Hunters unnecessary there.
This starkly contrasted with the dire need for Gaunt Hunters in the smaller, more vulnerable towns.
Ideally, each small town would have around fifty Gaunt Hunters, a number intended to ensure adequate protection against the Gaunt threat. However, the reality was far grimmer. The inherent dangers and heavy responsibilities associated with the job dissuaded many from becoming Gaunt Hunters. The perilous nature of the work, combined with the constant threat of death, resulted in a severe shortage of recruits.
As a result, the numbers in many towns had dwindled alarmingly.
"Only ten?" she repeated her voice barely above a whisper. "That's... alarming… What happens if more Gaunts come?"
"We do our best," Finn said, trying to sound confident. "But it's tough… Every day, we’re stretched thinner,"
Ms. Tori took a deep breath, trying to process the gravity of the situation.
Finn felt a lump in his throat. "I promise, Ms. Tori. I'll do everything I can to stay safe," he said, trying to remind her if his promise mere moments ago.
Ms. Tori wanted to argue with Finn's comment, but deep down, she knew he was somewhat right. The town was struggling—trade had slowed to a trickle, and many residents had moved away. The constant threat of Gaunt attacks made living there increasingly untenable. Even Ms. Tori had considered leaving to ensure Eric’s safety and to give him a chance to grow up in a more stable environment where he could interact with other children and experience the broader world.
However, she couldn’t bring herself to leave.
Her late husband was buried in this town, and even though years had passed since his death, she felt tied to the place where he rested. She had loved this town deeply, and in a way, staying felt like keeping a part of him alive.
Seeing the conflict in her eyes, Finn decided to change the subject. "Hey, why don't I come over for dinner?" he suggested with a soft smile. "I'm sure Eric would be happy to see me after so long,”
Ms. Tori was pulled out of her thoughts by his offer. She smiled, grateful for his willingness to spend his rare day off with them. "That would be lovely, Finn," she said with a quick nod.
They walked together to Ms. Tori's home, a modest three-bedroom house with a large attic. Inside, they found Eric sitting in front of the TV, watching cartoons. Hearing Finn’s voice, Eric turned, his face lighting up with excitement. He jumped out of his seat and ran to give Finn a hug.
Eric was about 11 years old, with brown hair like his deceased father but hazel eyes like his mother. He was wearing a dark black and blue striped shirt, dark gray pants, and black slip-on shoes.
Finn hugged him back, smiling. "I've got some stories to tell over dinner," he said, which made Eric's eyes sparkle with anticipation.
He loved hearing about the world beyond their town, even if it was mostly filled with woods and the ruins of an old world.
Finn then followed Ms. Tori into the kitchen to help prepare dinner. He found what he could and handed the items to her, glad to be of assistance. Ms. Tori thanked him and asked if he could help chop vegetables, which he was more than happy to do.
As they worked side by side, Ms. Tori glanced at Finn, her expression a mix of gratitude and concern. "You know, Finn, this town means a lot to me,” she told him “It’s where I built my life with my husband, and it’s where I want Eric to grow up, despite everything,"
Finn nodded, understanding the deep attachment she had. "I get it, Ms. Tori. This place has a lot of memories, and as long as I'm here, I'll do my best to keep it safe for you and Eric,"
Ms. Tori smiled warmly. "I know you will, Finn... Thank you,”
Dinner was a warm, lively affair. Eric listened intently to Finn’s stories, hanging on every word. The laughter and conversation filled the small home, creating a moment of normalcy amidst the chaos of their world. For a brief time, the threats outside seemed distant, and they enjoyed the simple pleasure of being together.
After a few bites, Eric looked at Finn eagerly. "Can you tell me one of your stories, Finn?" he asked, his eyes bright with anticipation.
Finn nodded, swallowing a mouthful of food. "Well, a couple of days ago, I was out with two or three other Hunters, we had just finished fighting off a few Gaunts, once they were dealt with, we decided to explore the area since it was the site of an old abandoned amusement park,” he began. “Some of the rides were still standing, though most were broken and destroyed, it was interesting to see the tech they used to have back then," Finn recounted.
Eric's eyes widened with excitement. "Wow! That's awesome!" he exclaimed.
Finn grinned. "It was pretty cool, but it’s nothing compared to some of the parks I saw in Salton Lake City! Those places are amazing,"
Eric's eyes gleamed at the mention of the nearby city. "Man, I want to go there someday!" he said enthusiastically. "Maybe when I start my training to be a Gaunt Hunter," he added with a big smile.
Finn chuckled. "So, you want to be a Gaunt Hunter, huh?" he asked. "You think you’ve got what it takes?"
Eric nodded vigorously. "Uh-huh! I know I can be a Gaunt Hunter! I bet I can even be better than you!" he declared, pointing at Finn.
Finn raised an eyebrow, amused. "Oh really?" he said. "Who's to say I'm not the best of the best, huh?"
Eric gave him a smug smirk. "Because if you were the best Hunter, you'd have already gotten rid of all the Gaunts!" he said confidently.
Finn chuckled. "Well, you got me there," he admitted. "But hey, if you think you can be the best and get rid of all the Gaunts, then I say go for it, dude."
Eric chuckled and resumed eating, his enthusiasm undimmed. Ms. Tori watched the two with a fond smile, marveling at the brotherly bond between them. It warmed her heart to see how close they had become. She knew that Finn cherished this connection just as much as Eric did, especially since Finn had grown up without a family of his own, raised in the local orphanage.
She recalled those early days when a young Finn would walk into the bakery, clutching a few coins. His eyes would light up with wonder at the sight of the treats and goodies lining the shelves. Something about him had touched her heart, and she began offering him free treats for him and the other orphans whenever he visited. Her late husband had also taken a liking to Finn, treating him like the son they never had. When Finn decided to become a Gaunt Hunter, it was her husband who had helped him prepare for the rigorous training, getting him into shape and offering constant encouragement.
After her husband's death, it was Finn who helped her grieve and find the strength to carry on. She had felt terrible about leaning on him during such a hard time, knowing he had his own sadness to deal with, yet he remained steadfast and strong. He had been there for her and for Eric, helping the young boy understand their loss and navigate the difficult times that followed.
She was truly grateful to have Finn in her life.
Suddenly, Finn's phone vibrated insistently in his pocket. He quickly reached for it and saw a text message from work. He opened it, dreading what it might say.
[~Finn, we need you tonight. Jon and Gary quit out of the blue, so we need someone to fill in.~]
Finn sighed, frustration bubbling up inside him. 'Great, now we're down to eight Hunters,' he thought. 'And Jon and Gary were both my age and in better shape than the veterans at the station.'
Ms. Tori noticed the change in his expression and knew immediately what it meant. "Does duty call, Finn?" she asked gently.
Finn nodded, his expression weary. "Yeah, looks like Jon and Gary quit. They need me to cover tonight."
Ms. Tori sighed, placing a comforting hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Finn. I know how much you were looking forward to some time off."
"It's alright," Finn said, forcing a smile. "I knew it was a long shot anyway. The town needs all the help it can get."
Eric looked up, concern etched on his young face. "Do you have to go, Finn?"
Finn ruffled the boy's hair affectionately. "Yeah, buddy. Duty calls. But I'll be back, and we’ll have more stories to share. I promise."
Ms. Tori gave him a supportive nod. "Just promise us you'll stay safe, Finn."
"I will," Finn assured her. He stood up, preparing to leave. "Thanks for dinner, Ms. Tori. It was great, as always."
As he left the warm, comforting atmosphere of Ms. Tori's home and headed out into the cold night, Finn felt a renewed sense of purpose. Despite the exhaustion and the ever-present danger, he knew he had to keep fighting. For the town, for Eric, and for the memory of the man who had helped him become who he was.
Once at the station, Finn entered and immediately spotted Dick Cortez, a veteran Gaunt Hunter who had been safeguarding the town for as long as Finn could remember. Dick, now in his 50s, had graying hair, deep-set wrinkles, and perpetually tired eyes. He was wearing the standard-issue armor that all Gaunt Hunters received, though each Hunter was allowed to customize their armor with different colors and modifications.
Dick's armor consisted of a high-collar black shirt beneath a modified, pure black chest plate that covered his upper abdomen, along with similarly-colored bracers. Both the chest plate and bracers were trimmed with white and featured matching shoulder pads. He also wore gloves with small metal plating on the fingers, dark navy jeans, black and white metal knee pads, and dark brown boots.
Dick noticed Finn and offered a small smile. "Heya, Finn," he greeted.
"Hey yourself, Dick," Finn replied with a nod.
"Sorry about having to bring you in on your day off," Dick said, his tone genuinely apologetic.
Finn walked over to his locker, where his armor and weapons were stored. He glanced at Dick and shrugged, giving a small smile. "It's alright, Dick. I understand why, and I'm not angry—well, not at you, but at those two," Finn said, referring to Jon and Gary.
Dick nodded in understanding. "Trust me, I'm disappointed in them too, but I can see why they left so suddenly," he said.
Finn nodded back, opening his locker to reveal his armor. His armor was similar to Dick's but differed in color and the clothing underneath. Finn wore his usual attire beneath the armor, which consisted of a dark brown chest plate trimmed with black, matching bracers, shoulder pads, knee pads, and gloves.
He took the armor out and quickly dressed, securing the pieces in place. He then grabbed his Glock and its holster, strapping it around his waist, and added his machete in its sheath. Once fully suited up, he turned to Dick with a raised brow. "Which side of town am I patrolling tonight?"
"Outer wall, west side," Dick stated, his voice firm.
Finn nodded, mentally preparing himself for the task ahead. The west side of the outer wall was notorious for Gaunt activity, a hotspot for their attacks. It was going to be a long night.
As he headed out, Dick called after him, "Stay sharp out there, Finn. We can't afford to lose any more good Hunters."
Finn turned back and gave a resolute nod. "I will, Dick. See you in the morning."
Once outside the city, Finn couldn't help but take in the grim sight of the outer wall. It was marred with deep scratches and chips from relentless Gaunt attacks, stained with the dark green goo that dripped from their slavering mouths, and speckled with bloodstains that would never fully wash away. The stark contrast between this battered exterior and the inner walls of the town was striking. Inside, the walls were adorned with chalk drawings from children and vibrant murals from the town's artists. These cheerful images served as a reminder of what he was protecting, and why he had chosen to become a Gaunt Hunter in the first place.
Reaching the west side of the wall, Finn began his patrol, moving back and forth to ensure no Gaunts were attempting to scale the barrier. For now, the night was quiet, and he hoped it would remain that way.
As he walked his beat, his thoughts drifted back to dinner with Eric and the boy's enthusiastic declaration about becoming a Gaunt Hunter. While part of him felt honored by Eric's admiration, another part was deeply troubled. The life of a Hunter was dangerous and filled with horrors that no one should have to witness, let alone a young boy like Eric.
Finn's mind flashed back to a particularly gruesome memory from a past patrol. He and another Hunter had been called to assist in repelling a large pack of Gaunts. They had rushed to the scene, only to find their comrades dead, slaughtered in horrific ways. One Hunter's skull had been cracked open, with Gaunts eating from it as if it were a bowl of grapes. Another Hunter, still alive, was being disemboweled and devoured. Finn could never forget the man's agonized expression as he watched his own entrails being torn apart and consumed. The sight had been so revolting that Finn had vomited on the spot, paralyzed by shock until his partner snapped him back to reality.
Then there were the stories he had heard from veterans like Dick. Dick once recounted an incident where a Hunter had been speared to death by multiple Gaunts. They hadn't even eaten him; they had just impaled him repeatedly, leaving his body to rot in the woods for days. Such tales highlighted the Gaunts' malevolence and complete lack of empathy.
Finn shuddered at the memories. He didn't want Eric to face such nightmares. The boy was full of life and potential, and Finn couldn't bear the thought of him enduring the same horrors he had.
Since that harrowing incident and the chilling story Dick had shared, Finn had sworn to himself that he wouldn't meet a similar fate. He vowed to go out fighting, to not end up like those other hunters. He couldn't bear the thought of becoming another victim, especially after what happened to his sister.
The sudden howl nearby jolted Finn out of his grim thoughts. The sound was close—too close. Instantly alert, he scanned his surroundings. Just then, something whizzed past his face, slicing his cheek. He turned to see a makeshift arrow embedded in the wall. Spinning back around, his heart sank as he saw ten Gaunts emerging from the tree line.
"Shit!" Finn cursed, his eyes widening in horror. This was a dire situation. He quickly drew his Glock and aimed at the advancing creatures. Before he could fire, a sharp pain seared through his left side. He glanced down to see a small dagger lodged in his torso.
'What the hell?' Finn thought, bewildered. 'Did one of the Gaunts throw this?'
"Sorry, but it's nothing personal," a strange voice echoed through the darkness.
Finn's gaze snapped forward, and he saw a figure emerging from the shadows. They wore a long black cloak that seemed to envelop them completely, giving the eerie impression that they were gliding across the ground rather than walking.
The figure approached him, their face obscured by the cloak's hood. "My, you are a handsome young man," they purred in a sultry tone. "Such a fucking shame that my babies must eat. We've been on the run, and they haven't had a chance to rest and eat until we saw you." They giggled, a chilling sound that sent shivers down Finn's spine.
Fear gripped Finn, but he managed to look up at the cloaked figure with a raised brow. "W-Who are you?" he stammered, his voice wavering.
The figure tilted their head slightly as if amused by his question. "Who am I?" they echoed. "I am their mother, their caretaker. I ensure they survive, even if it means feeding them humans like you." The figure leaned closer, and Finn could just make out a twisted smile beneath the hood.
Finn's mind raced. He needed to think of a way out, and fast. The Gaunts were closing in, and he was injured and at a severe disadvantage. Summoning his remaining strength, he clutched his Glock tighter and tried to steady his breath. He couldn't let this be the end.
The figure's giggle echoed eerily through the night, sending a shiver down Finn's spine. "Oh! Now I'm regretting stabbing you," they remarked with a twisted amusement. "It's not every day a handsome young man asks me my name, you know? Most prefer a no-name policy." Their tone was cryptic, and Finn couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in his gut. "While I would love to give you my name in far better circumstances, I'm afraid I don't have the time," they continued, their words dripping with urgency. "As I said, we're on the run from a rather unpleasant girl."
Finn's confusion only deepened. The figure's response didn't provide any clarity, leaving him even more perplexed. As the figure began to back away, Finn's eyes widened in shock as the Gaunts beside them moved in unison. ‘She can... control them!?’ he realized, disbelief washing over him.
"Go ahead, babies... EAT!" the figure commanded, her voice chillingly calm.
With a sickening lurch in his stomach, Finn watched as the Gaunts surged forward, their hunger palpable in the air. Determination surged within him, driving him to fight against the odds stacked against him. Ignoring the searing pain from his wound, he raised his gun and fired at the approaching Gaunts. Despite his efforts, only one was hit, and even then, it didn't slow down.
Finn gritted his teeth, preparing for the inevitable close-quarter battle with the monsters. "Come on!" he growled defiantly. "I'm right here!"
The Gaunts closed in, their predatory instincts driving them forward. Just as they leaped toward him, ready to strike, something unexpected occurred.
Thorny vines erupted from the ground, snaking around the Gaunts with incredible speed. Finn's eyes widened in astonishment as the vines ensnared the creatures, halting their advance. The vines twisted and contorted, slamming the Gaunts into the ground with brutal force, tearing at their flesh and rendering them helpless.
" Damn! How did that bitch already find us!?" the figure exclaimed, frustration evident in their voice.
Finn's gaze followed the figure's gaze as a new figure emerged from the shadows.
Her appearance was striking, to say the least. With a spiky red Mohawk and piercing red eyes devoid of any white, she exuded an aura of fierce determination. Smudged mascara framed her intense gaze, adding to her wild and untamed appearance. Her lips were painted black, a stark contrast to her fiery red hair and eyes. Clad in a black leather crop top vest that accentuated her slim, athletic frame, she exuded an air of defiance. Arm bands encircled her wrists and biceps, resembling the wraps worn by boxers, hinting at her combat prowess. Around her neck, she wore a large choker, adding to her rebellious demeanor. Her attire was completed by tight leather pants and high-heeled platform boots, giving her an imposing presence.
"Found you, ya freaking cunt!" she spat, her voice laced with venom.
The cloaked figure retreated, increasing the distance between them and the girl. "Ugh, don't you ever give up?" they retorted, their tone tinged with irritation.
The girl leveled a fierce glare at the figure. "After the shit you've done!? I ain't letting you go!" she declared, her voice dripping with disdain.
The figure let out a mocking giggle. "Is that so?" they taunted, gesturing toward Finn who lay wounded on the ground. "Not even to save his life?"
The girl's gaze shifted to Finn, her expression softening momentarily as she registered his injuries. Before she could react, a shrill howl pierced the air, drawing their attention back to the figure.
"What the hell did you do!?" the girl demanded, her voice trembling with rage.
"Oh, just called in a few friends over for dinner," the figure replied casually.
"You bitch!" the girl seethed.
With a swift motion, she thrust her hand forward, summoning a massive vine with thorns protruding from its surface. The vine lunged toward the figure, but they evaded the attack with agile grace, darting away through the forest.
"Have fun~!" they taunted, their laughter echoing through the trees as they disappeared into the darkness.
Driven by determination, the girl pursued the figure, her footsteps echoing through the forest. However, her path was suddenly obstructed as a horde of Gaunts emerged from the shadows, blocking her way with menacing snarls and bared teeth.
"Get out of my way!" the girl cried, her voice ringing with determination.
In an instant, a smaller thorned vine shot out of the ground with startling speed, piercing through the approaching Gaunts like a bullet. Lifted into the air by the force of the vine, the creatures were hurled aside, crashing into trees with bone-crushing force.
As more Gaunts emerged from the shadows behind her, four shots echoed through the air. Finn's aim was true, striking the advancing Gaunts and causing them to writhe in agony as they fell to the ground. The girl glanced back to see Finn's timely intervention, offering a silent nod of acknowledgment before focusing her attention back on the remaining threats. Summoning more vines, she ensnared the creatures, tearing them apart with ruthless efficiency.
Satisfied that the immediate danger had passed, the girl turned back towards Finn, who was now sitting against the wall, applying pressure to his wound.
Bending down beside him, the girl flashed a smile, revealing sharp triangular teeth reminiscent of a shark. "Nice shooting there, dude. Really saved my ass back there," she remarked.
Finn managed a weak chuckle. "I should be thanking you. If you hadn't shown up, I'd be Gaunt food," he admitted.
"Let's call it even, then, eh?" she suggested. "What's your name?" she inquired.
Finn met her gaze, taking a moment to catch his breath before responding. "Finn, Finn Tresscoat," he introduced himself. Curiosity burning in his eyes, he posed a question in return. "Who are you? No... What are you?" he asked, unable to shake off the mystery surrounding her.
The girl maintained her enigmatic smile, meeting his gaze with her striking red eyes. "The name's Rachel Rose," she revealed. "As for what I am, well... I can answer that once you're all patched up," she added cryptically.
Summoning another vine, Rachel gently lifted Finn to his feet, supporting him as they began to make their way back towards town. With each step, Finn's mind buzzed with questions, the mysteries surrounding Rachel and her abilities swirling in his thoughts. Who was the cloaked figure? How did they control the Gaunts? And most pressing of all, who—or what—was Rachel, and how was she able to command those vines with such ease?
As they walked back toward town, Finn couldn't help but feel the weight of exhaustion settle upon him, both physically and mentally. His thoughts swirled with questions about the events that had just transpired—about Rachel, the cloaked figure, and the unsettling abilities they both possessed. Yet, amidst the chaos of his mind, one pressing question emerged, demanding attention above all else.
'When the hell am I gonna get another day off? Because I can sure as hell use it right now...!' Finn thought to himself, his weariness palpable.
Rachel, walking beside him, seemed to sense his inner turmoil. Casting him a sidelong glance, she offered a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Finn. You'll have your chance to rest soon," she assured him, her voice carrying a note of empathy.
Finn managed a weary smile in return, grateful for the reassurance. Despite the gravity of their situation, her words offered a glimmer of hope amidst the uncertainty that loomed over them…

Chapter 1: Hope’s 16th Birthday
As the rays of the sun hits her eyes Hope Moonshine wakes up excited, she was waiting for this day for all her life
She jumps out of her bed and rushes to her mom's room excited and she accidentally flung the door open too fast making a loud cranking noise waking her mother, Queen Matilda up
"Oops didn't mean to wake you up" hope said awkwardly"Honey I know you are excited for your birthday but you need to be patient the sun has just risen everyone is still asleep" Matilda said tiredly, "please go back to sleep darling you will have a long day today and you will need the energy, your party wont be begin till noon"
"Ok mom, sorry for waking you up" said Hope as she was trying to close the door slowly enough that it doesn't crank but it still did "Not an issue dear", said Matilda
As the door closed Matilda took a deep breath and closed her eyes her emblem on her right shoulder a pink diamond glowed she opened her eyes and she made a finger gun with her right hand pointing at the hinges and a shiny pink light zaps comes out of her index and zaps the hinges, the beam turns into a hand and it open the door and then closes without making a cranking noise, "I should have done that a long time ago" said Matilda
She removes the blankets from her bed to reveal she is already clothed for a serious occasion, as she goes towards the mirror she is wearing a long cyan dress that trails all the way to her feed her top being smartly tight with short shoulder sleeves, she puts on long white gloves and glances over her diamond ring she lets out a small sigh and frown and puts it on, she trances over the mirror for a few seconds before snapping out of it, and she looks over to a miniature painting of her an her daughter when she was 6 she picks it up and smiles "I know you are eager dear you won't have to wait for long"
After Matilda ready's herself she open her window and conjures a light bird of the palm of her hand, the bird flew off to Hope's room where it sees her lying in her bed on her stomach, the bird soon returns to Matilda's room and land on her palm her eyes glows for a moment and the bird fizzes into a yellow cloud, "Well it looks like she actually listened not very common of her to do so, it means I can continue to do my plan unobstructed" she said with a smile.
Matilda leaves her room and walk across the hallway to the main hall then she claps her hand twice, and snap her finger, suddenly a figure jumps into the window it spins 180° and a muscular women stands up, she has a scar on her left cheek and short brown hair, she wore knight armour that cuts of at her shoulder emblem that looks like a dark grey shield.
"At your service my queen", she said with a salute
Matilda is startled for a moment, but then composes herself, "Sally there is no need for you to enter that way you can just wait for me at the hall entrance", she said.
"I was scouting the perimeter we have to make sure this place is safe and to make sure no one can harm the princess at her important day, I was up all night with my team searching every corner of the upper ring for any danger and-" Sally was abruptly cut off by Matilda.
"It was not your fault Sally, there is no need for you to prove yourself to me" Matilda said remorsefully, "You tried your best so you must eventually forgive yourself it wasn't anyone fault, it truly came from nowhere"
Sally's serious expression break into expression of regret as she shamefully looks at the ground
"Now is not time to punish ourselves over who we failed to protect but to make sure my daughter has a great birthday" Matilda said with determination
Sally's expressions of regret turned to a smile, "Yes my Queen, me and the royal guards have spent last few weeks clearing a safe path from the upper ring to the more presentable areas of the lower ring that ends at the great barrier" Sally says with a salute.
"Well I trust your judgement, you are now dismissed" said Matilda
Sally goes down the stairs of the central hall towards the doors "I won't mess up again" Sally said with determination
"Oh Houston" Matilda said while turning her head left and right, "where is he when I need him",
"I am right here your majesty" Houston whispered from behind, Matilda was startled and was annoyed on how everyone seems to sneak up on her, "Sorry for spooking you" said Houston as he polished his monocle "We are well prepared to begin celebration soon" he said as his hand pointed towards the empty hall.
Matilda stared at him, he then clapped his hands and an army of servants entered the hall setting up the chairs and tables, followed up by waiters quickly setting food on the table, and then 6 waiters came together to slowly lift the large 4 layered birthday cake with a milk white colour with chocolate cream on top of each layer, with "happy birthday Hope" spelled with strawberry topping on the side of each layer, with the glowing yellow number "16" candle at the top.
"As I was saying my Queen" Houston started "We just need to wait for the guests to arrive, I will let you know when you can call your daughter" Houston stops from a moment "Do you want anything else your majesty or am I dismissed?" he asked.
"You are dismissed Houston" said Matilda
Matilda walks up to Hope's room and slowly opens the door to find her laying in her bed
"One thousand one hundred and forty-two" Hope counted to herself, she paused and took a deep sigh, and tried to continue but then paused scratching her head "Um One-".
she was interrupted by her mother saying "Thousand one hundred and forty-three", "Unable to sleep dear?" She said with a smile, Hope gasped and she had the biggest smile in her face, her mother was a bit startled and asked "what is it you are smiling at?".
Hope pointed at her, jumped from her bed and as she was taking heavy breathes pointing at her mother clothes, "You don't sleep in this" she takes a deep breath and exclaims "which means I have got to get ready" and she runs to her closet to pick up something to wear.
Matilda takes a glance down at her clothes and rolls her eyes "so much for a surprise"
"I am ready mom" Hope said ecstatically, she was wearing a beautiful turquoise dress which complemented her hair colour styled in two plates with with joined with a pink band and wearing her favourite golden necklace,
"That was quick" her mother commented
As they enter the main hall a bunch of guests are seated drinking beverages and helping themselves to freshly baked foods, "Attention everybody, I would like you to welcome the birthday girl" said Houston, everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their heads towards the princess.
She gets a bit nervous and let out an awkward "hey guys", she didn't recognize any of them but she had to pretend to know all of them while hoping they don't ask her if she knows them, they all continue to stare as she and her mother get seated.
Houston lets out a forced cough to break the awkward silence, he says "and now Princess that you have come here you may blow the candles", the table the cake was on was carried towards Hope and her mother seated on there high chair, Hope tries to mask her excitement as she takes a deep breath and gently blow the candles, which fire off the cake and make a small explosion spelling out "Happy Birthday Princess!", Hope's eyes lit with joy.
Trumpets play and two royal servants come into the hall holding a gold plated chest decorated with diamonds, the chest is slowly opened and a blinding bright light shined from inside it, "Go ahead dear" said Matilda as her eyes pointed to the chest.
Hope goes down towards the chest and slowly lowers her hand inside of it and grabs what inside, as she removes her hand from the chest it reveals her to be holding the magic wand, it had a purple handle with a sparkly cyan diamond at its back end and a translucent turquoise sphere at it top decorated with a white glowing shape which resembled the combination of a two star into two different planes inside, and topped off with a small yellow crown at the top
Hope's shoulder emblem a pink heart with a tiny crown on top of both curves starts glowing, she raises the top of the wand at eye level, "ooh what's this" she says as she tries to stick her finger inside it to touch the spinning star
"HOPE DONT" shouted her mother, as soon as hope touched it burnt her finger and she let out a painful screech and fires a yellow glowing beam fires from the wand at some guest who were quick enough to duck, it hits a glowing orange decorative plant crushing it against the wall,
"hehe this could have been worse", Hope said awkwardly, the wreckage catches fire...
"FIRE" yells Sally, the guards that were standing by the walls quickly moved and shoved away all nearby guest as Sally goes and faces the fire here shoulder emblem glows and she fires yellow beam at it from her hands she then she clenches her fist and the beam turns into water extinguishing the fire and a yellow cloud evaporates from it, she quickly turn over to Hope and rushes over to her "ARE YOU OKAY PRINCESS" she exclaimed worryingly.
"I am fine it's just my finger is a little -" before she finishes her sentence Sally picks her up and running with her in her arms and runs up to the door and out of the Palace.
Queen Matilda is left with the guests and lets out an awkward chuckle and says "so who wants some drinks?", "Please help yourself to the finest wines in the whole kingdom" she said as a servant reveals a bunch of wine bottles in gold coating, the guests all rushed to get a sip
"I am telling you I am fine it's just a little scratch its rude for me to leave suddenl-" Hope was interrupted by Sally kicking the door open.
"PA-" Sally yelled before being interrupted by a "SHHHH", she was shushed by a woman with a white robe that cut offs at the shoulder, and a hand crafted necklace made of cotton around her neck, she had red hair tied into a bun and a green plus sign as her shoulder emblem.
"Seriously Sally how many times do I have to tell you to be quiet in here" said healer Pam with frustration she lets out a sigh and asks, "So what seems to be the problem?" Sally pulls out Hope and holds her at arms length right Infront of her Hope lets out a "Hi".
Pam gasps "Oh my princess sorry I didn't know you were coming, are you hurt?"
"No not at all it's ju-" Hope was interrupted yet again it seems like although she is becoming a grownup no one seems to want to listen to her
"She burned herself quickly check up on her" commanded Sally as she lowered Hope to her feet, Pam glanced at her up and down
"Where was she hurt", asked her confused. Hope sheepishly pointed to her left index finger it was a bit red which could be easily seen as it contrasted with her smooth white skin, but it was also accompanied by a yellow 'liquid', Pam conjured a white napkin to clean the site of the injury and singled out the injured finger from Hope's hand and put her hand on it and made into a fist and then she took a deep breath and closed her eyes her shoulder mark started having a green glow for a few seconds and then it suddenly went dim, she opened her hand to find the finger fully healed like it was never even scratched.
"Oh wow t-thanks" said Hope with a smile.
"Oh it's nothing" said pam, she took out her napkin it had some yellow glowing spots of what looks like fluid except its it didn't soak in but floated around it, "I see you can use magic now, what was your first spell" Pam said with excitement.
"I-i just shot this out of the wand" she said as she pointed at liquid on the napkin that started evaporating considerably, she then lowered her voice and talked faster "and it hit a plant and set it on fire" she was saying as she looked at the floor, Pam laughed and Hope was starting to blush.
"Oh don't worry dear we all mess up at the start, when I first started I accidentally broke a boy's arm" Pam said with a laugh.
"Is he okay now?" Hope asked with curiosity
"Well when I was your age healing wasn't what it is today they just put his arm in a cast and said if he was lucky his arm would be usable in three years", "I never was interested in healing like my mom but I wanted to fix my mistake so I studied and practiced for months to focus my healing and one day it just clicked, I got back to him and I was able to heal his arm and this happiness a patient feels when they are treated makes this all worth it" she let out a calm sigh and continued "It was not an easy journey but in just 8 years I was able to reach my peak"
"Eight years?" Hope said in disbelief
"Don't worry your path is way longer than mine my peak is at least four levels lower than you" Pam said with a grin
"It isn't that huge difference right?" Hope inquired hoping her journey wont be in the double digits because that's a very long time
Pam laughed and then said "Oh it way larger than it looks, but don't worry royals don't have a peak at least not one that one knows off" she put her hand on Hope's shoulder "Don't let the long road overwhelm you as long as you are better than yesterday you will be a great princess"
Hope smiled at her and said, "Thanks a lot Pam"
"So is everything alright with her, she stuck her finger into the wand are you sure there wont be any complications" asked Sally
"She will be alright she might have lost her finger if she went deeper and then It will actually a challenge to fix, but this is what pain reflexes are for, it a blessing in disguise", replied Pam
Sally clapped her hands and said "Well we got to go now we cant keep the guests waiting thanks for your help Pam"
Hope looked over to her and said "You should come over it's my birthday you can go change the setting", "No dear being a Healer is big commitment what if someone is in need of assistance and I am not here but I appreciate the gesture, maybe I could arrange my schedule to be there next time, go enjoy yourself".
"Pam the amputee is ready for his second regeneration session" a voice called.
"The what?" exclaimed Hope.
"Oh it's a bit graphic you really don't want to see it, I got to go now send your mother my regards" replied Pam as she ran over to a patient
Sally and Hope went to the door and left.
"You know I was really fine, it was just a scratch" Hope said as she looked up to Sally, "It's kind of rude to just leave the guests hanging I could have just sucked it up-"
Hope tried to continue when Sally muttered under her breath "I won't forgive myself".
"What was that?" asked Hope.
"Nothing, it's just you can never be so sure and no one was stupid enough to stick there finger in the wand I was just making sure but since it wasn't serious we don't need to worry" Sally said with an anxious fake smile, Hope sensed there was something off about her tone but she didn't want to push Sally into an uncomfortable spot so she left it at that
Sally and Hope make it back to the palace and Matilda rushes to her daughter "Oh dear are you ok"
She said as she gave her girl a hug, Everyone was staring and Hope got a bit embarrassed "yeah Mom I am ok" Hope said, Matilda stood up and was about to say something before Hope pre-emptively said, "I know I know it was pretty stupid from me to to do what I did, I know the wand is not a toy and I promise I will be more careful with it" she said while avoiding eye contact
Matilda smiled and said "Well I appreciate that you understand that you messed up but that not what I wanted to say" Hope made eye contact and Matilda continued "As princess and future queen we will have you visit the LOWER RING" Matilda took her daughter's hand "Sure its not the safest or best place in the kingdom but a hermit ruler is a bad ruler"
Hope got extremely excited over this as she always wanted to see the rest of the kingdom the Lower ring, the Outer ring but she was always told no because Sally's word "It's way to dangerous, you are not ready, you aren't old enough" or her mother's word "Is there something there that you cant find at home?, The place isn't very hygienic" but how bad could it be it was still under the rule of the Moonshines. Life in the Upper ring and the palace get boring after a while, why would she wants to stay put there when there a whole world to explore?
"The escorts are waiting for us outside those who want to go with us are welcome to go" Said Matilda looking at the guests with a forced smile almost knowing the reaction. All of them tried to mask there faces of disgust as if Matilda just asked them to bathe in mud or even worse she said that the food at the legendary "façade haut de gamme" was just an overpriced scam. They didn't look very impressed, Matilda coughed and asked "Well?".
One couple went towards the exit and when they got to Matilda the man said "We are truly flattered by your invite my queen but I am afraid we have something important to do" the man paused and scratched his head trying to think of an excuse Hope looked over him and asked
"What's more important to than a trip to see the rest of kingdom its not like we can always get to do it" with an ecstatic smile the woman who was scratching her head stopped as if she got an idea she went over looked to Hope with a stupid fake smile and said
"Well sweetie we forgot to sign up our son for school and registration will be closing today" she turned over to her husband and elbowed him in ribs and asked "Isn't that right honey?"
The man nodded in agreement and they walked out and they led out an audible sigh and when they were just outside of earshot the man told his wife "Moonshines huh? You would think after what happened a decade ago they would get the memo" the woman looked back at the Queen then waved and looked back at her husband and said
"She is weak if this happened to me I will make sure those pigs wish they weren't born".
Following into there footsteps and sensing an opening other guests decided to excuse themselves outside and at this point Matilda stopped resisting she knew some wouldn't want to go but she didn't think that many would go and she looked defeated Hope turned to her and said "Well mom we don't need those nose in the airers it's there loss anyways"
A woman walked up to them "She is right you know in-law" that woman was Hope's paternal aunt Mary, she had short blonde hair and brown eyes wearing a yellow dress for the occasion "The only reason any off these arrogant buffoons came here is societal expectations much like basically everything here" she said while rolling her eyes "and they all dipped the second they had the chance, come on lets go"
As they walked past the doors Sally was standing just outside the door scanning the setting with her eyes, her eyes wandered and locked with Mary "You should relax Sally no need for you to be so tense" she said with a smile she then changed her tone suddenly and said with a frown and a in a low voice that Hope and Matilda couldn't hear "Me and Matilda can protect ourselves and we aren't relying on you and my niece was under my protection since she was six, all you need to do is drive the horses and look menacing" and then she put her hand on her shoulder and smiled and said with an audible voice "So you can feel a lot more at ease dear", Sally tried hid her feeling of guilt with a fake smile "Let's go" said Mary joyfully
Everyone got on the horse driven chariot, just a classical chariot nothing magical about it, it's a very ineffective method of transport but one of the most relaxing ones
"HEEEEEY WAIT FOR ME" yelled a girl from as she was she surfing a purple cloud wearing a long sleeved purple sweater and blue pants as she got closer she tried to slow down by tilting her body backwards but she lost control and started flying at high speeds towards Hope
"EM SLOW DOWN" shouted Hope.
"I CANT BRACE FOR IMPACT" they both closed there eyes with their arms covering there eyes but just before contact she was caught effortlessly by Sally one hand and her cloud in the other she crushed the cloud in her fist into yellow mist that faded away and put the girl on her feet she then crossed her arms and looked down and barked
"Miss Emberlynn Springfield you should know how dangerous using magic without experience is, and you can't just rely on something you can't even responsibly use to make up for your own lack of punctuality"
Ember looked taken aback but she didn't want to look stupid so she snapped back with "I didn't know Hope is celebrating her birthday early in the morning, birthdays are a night activity".
Sally who was crossing her arms now raised her eyebrow and simply replied with,"Lies you were told everyday for the last week not my fault you can't seem to be able to be punctual friend's birthday, do you simply not care?".
Ember now looked embarrassed and now was rolling her finger around her dyed purple hair "M-M-My rooster didn't wake me up" she said with a smile while shrugging her shoulder as if she is asking question and the question was 'will Sally let the lecture go'.
"This doesn't matter now anyways it's that Ems is here" interjected Hope with excitement as she put her arm around Ember's shoulder "We shouldn't be wasting time let's go" she said as she punched her hand up in the sky.
Matilda, Hope, Ember and Mary entered the Chariot while Sally rode one of the two horses moving it while the other was being moved by an over-armoured and visibly nervous man.
"Calm down Edmund its just a short trip by a defined path we will be in an out in an hour or two" commanded Sally looking at Edmund clearly getting tired of his lack of confidence.
"I am trying but its such a big deal, escorting not one not two but three royals into the lower ring, I am not sure if I can do this, If I mess up-- I am too young for the consequences" he said clearly on the edge of panic
Sally slapped her hands on his cheeks "Edmund calm down you can do this I know you can" she said, Edmund seemed to calm down a bit "The whole path is being heavily guarded you and me are the last line of an extremely deep wall of defences we are most likely just going to be there for company" she looked back at the cart and said "and besides it's not like the royals can't protect themselves, they are much stronger than us after all"
"That's what they said about fre-" Edmund mumbled before putting his hand on his mouth mid sentence, Sally expression changed to that of anger.
"What did you just say?" she barked.
Edmund realising his mess up and started shaking "Um- I was talking about ---- the nice weather we are having" he said trying to pretend that this wasn't the stupidest attempt at backtracking, before Sally was going to give him a piece of her mind Mary stuck her head out and said in annoyed tone
"Hey I am not getting any younger here", Sally and Edmund looked forwards and shook the horse reins and they got moving forward
As they got to the edges of the Upper ring they reached translucent yellow barrier "We are reaching the barrier you might feel a tickle" proclaimed Sally.
As the horse crossed the barrier the barrier walls phased through the cart and it phased through Mary and Matilda there shoulder emblems glowed a four pointed star and a diamond respectfully in a yellow hue when it got to Hope and Ember the cart got to a sudden halt and they were thrown forwards Hope fell on her mother while Ember face was slapped into the barrier which was at this point halfway through the cart.
Sally opened the door "Everyone ok" she took one look at Ember and let out an annoyed sigh she dragged her hand out of the cart and asked while trying to hide her frustration "Show me your emblem"
Ember scoffed and tried to tuck back her long sleeves but she couldn't get back enough and said while crossing her arms "I can't and I am not removing my shirt".
Sally wasn't having any of it and from tip of her index made a sharp grey magic beam, she flattened Ember's sleeve and made a small cut in her right shoulder showing a yellow star rotated slightly to the left, after the cut yellow gas evaporated from it "And this is why emblems aren't covered it's common knowledge Springfield" said Sally annoyed.
"My favourite shirt! This was very unnecessary" whined Ember and before she could say anything Sally went back to her horse leaving her alone she scoffed and went back to the cart and sat next to Hope crossing her arms.
"You okay there", asked Hope concerned.
"Yeah I am fine just another lecture", said ember looking at the windows
As Hope looked out the window the lower ring didn't seem so different from home, people dressed and walked smartly roads were clean but something was off she couldn't help but notice everyone wore long sleeves even though it was a summer and it's not proper etiquette and that's something else it was surprisingly hot, She took her head out through the windows "Hello stranger" she greeted a man walking nearby he took one solid look at her and looked towards her mother and Sally who was frowning and her hands free with her emblem glowing, he didn't say anything and turned back and proceeded to speed walk away in a few seconds he ditched the subtlety and ran away, Hope was pretty disappointed and got her head into the cart
"What did I do wrong?", Hope asked.
"Girl it's either because you were too friendly it felt fake" said Ember, Hope looked down "Or they were made to feel unwelcome by misses buzzkill in the driving seat" she remarked
A loud sound of crashing wooden boxes was heard and cart went to a halt
"What was that" commented Mary
"Something that isn't boring" Hope said with excitement before leaving the cart.
"Make sure all of them stay put in the cart I will be gone for a short while" said Sally to Edmund before running to the source of the sound Hope tried to follow her but was body blocked by Edmund with his arms crossed
"Sorry I can't let you go princess, Superior's orders", he glanced to the left of him to seeing Ember touching a fancy table Infront of a café just for it to poof into a yellow cloud,
"Ow splinters" she cried, the yellow cloud fizzled reveal a wooden table barely clinging to its shape with a bunch of makeshift wooden fixes that don't even match in colour
Edmund looked like he just saw a ghost and ran towards Ember who was now transforming outdoor expensive furniture into splinter traps
"Stop touching it" said Edmund before shooting out a grey magical hands towards her subduing her, "What's your deal" he scolded annoyed.
"No what's this place deal why is everything here so fake?" snapped Ember "You hearing this Hope this place is fa-" she then stopped and asked "Aye were is Hope?"
Edmund let her go and pulled on his hair "Oh no no no no no no no" he cried
"Is everything alright where is my daughter?" asked Matilda concerned, Edmund didn't know what to say but before he could make up an explanation Mary interjected
"Oh don't worry Mati she will be ok she is probably with Sally and besides she still has this necklace I gave her so I am sure she will be just fine" Mary said with her hand on Matilda's shoulder "and we can go have some tea and chit-chat while we wait I heard that Gilbert's tea shop has actually potable tea" she suggested Matilda sighed and decided to go with what Mary said and walked towards the shop. "What about me?" asked Ember, Edmund turned towards her with anger and barked "You are staying right here!".
"Sally where are you?" called Hope as she was walking she saw a little girl wearing a cute pink dress and smooth brown hair walking alone Infront of her, she approached her and asked
"Hey do you happen to see a tall lady around here?" she tapped on her shoulder to get her attention and suddenly a cloud of yellow gas evaporated out of her Hope and the little girl coughed and as the smoke cleared the little girl was wearing a poorly knit patchwork of randoms scraps of fabric and her hair was covered in dirt she had a brown circle on the side of her shoulder, Hope froze in shock "I- I am so sorry, it was an accident" she apologised "I can go get you a new dress or--" the girl just looked at Hope her eyes glanced her wand which was in her right hand as well as her royal emblem and then she started hyperventilating and burst into tears.
Hope got on to her knees and she gently put her hands on the girl's shoulder "Calm down calm down, it's alright, It's not your fault but mine"
"P-P-pwease do-don hu-hur meeee" the girl sobbed.
"What hurt you? no no no no" Hope explained trying to figure out from where the girl got the idea
Hope hugged the girl "Here calm down see I am friendly" she soothed, the girl seemed to calm down a bit and she started sniffing
She let her go and asked "So what's your name?"
"R-R-Rosie" replied Rosie.
"Ok Rosie I am so sorry for ruining your dress, do you remember were you got it from?" she asked
"Ms Bea had guys gib it to us" Rosie said
"Misses Bea huh" she wondered out loud "Well can you tell me were misses Bea is"
"Sowwy I can't tell you misses moonnnn" Rosie was saying before she looked she wanted to cry again
"Please don't cry" Hope pleaded "You don't need to tell me where you live just wait" Hope passed her wand to her left hand and put her now free hand to her pocket and pulled out a purple wallet and she pulled out a golden note with 50 written on it she passed the note to Rosie and said "Here give this to misses Bea and tell her I am so sorry for destroying your dress also" Rosie grabbed the note and stared at it, Hope pulled some wrapped candy she got from the party "Her have some candy too" the girl put her the note in her pocket and grabbed the wrapped candy she struggled with it a bit and she then passed it back
"Open it please" Rosie asked
"Oh you can't? it's quite simple here" Hope said she gently tapped the candy her emblem glowed for a moment and the wrapping fizzed out.
Rosie put the candy in her mouth and quickly chewed and swallowed it, she then gave Hope a hug, she let go after a moment "Thank you miss, Ms Bea says Moosines are scawy but aren't scawy"
"Scary why would we be scary" Hope asked in disbelief with a smile
Rosie looked around and said "I am sowwy I need to go" she turned back and ran away and took a turn and was just out of sight.
"You couldn't just stop causing trouble for one day? what did we pay you for?" Hope heard Sally barking.
The sound of Sally's voice came from an alleyway, as Hope entered the alley the clean white paint started fading into rotting maroon bricks and the smell became foul coming from the open dumpster "Ewwwww" Hope said as she lowered the lid to try and lessen the stench
"Hey you know it's rude to close the lid on someone trying to fetch themselves a meal" a bald man barked as he popped out like a jack in the box he had a white beard wearing over shoulder strapped brown pants with a black plastic bag for a shirt and a metal can of beans for a hat and his left eye with a grey iris spinning his shoulder emblem only consisted of a simple brown circle, Hope screamed and ran away "Oh beans was that a Moonshine?" the man asked himself "Well I probably should skip town" he said to himself with a goofy smile while snapping his fingers.
Hope stopped running and started panting "Now you are lucky I am not here in head bashing duty or I would have sent you to a one way trip to the Outer ring and the monsters there could deal with you" Hope heard Sally scolding, she walked to the end of the alleyway the place beyond it was extremely different people clothes were worn out in which the holes were covered up by half baked sewn rotting fabric the road didn't exist it was simply a dirt undefined path and walls were all made of rotting bricks same as that of the alley, windows were broken and the stench of garbage filled the air, Hope saw Sally tying up a bunch of muscular men with a magic rope.
Sally glanced over and saw Hope "Princess what are you doing here?" she asked with dismay the rope holding the gangsters vanished they got up and shook of the dust and looked up and saw Hope and they all ran away in terror "Moonshine here run awway". All of a sudden all the people went indoors and the windows were sealed shut with wood and hammered with nails and just like that the place looked like a ghost town.

Hi there,
Please brace yourself, this is going to be a long one and I'm going to try and be as objective and as eloquent as I possibly can. P.S I've never used Reddit before but have seen these type of content reshared on YouTube.
Alright. Let's go! So, my husband and I dated 8 years ago, and 2 years ago we decided to get married. For the story's sake, let's call him Dennis (31). Dennis was from a different country and we are the same race of people (different nationalities). He is the love of my life, I love him dearly - he is everything little me dreamed out, he's... im tearing up just thinking about how much I love him, there are no words to describe.
Now, Dennis parents rarely visited when we were dating, most of the getting to know my in-laws/introduction to the fam happened online and I don't know why I didn't see the things clearer (probably jacked up on love) that I brushed things off.
I made it clear, from our third date to Dennis that I don't want kids, never wanted them and its not something I'm going to change my mind on. I wanted him to know this from the get-go so we don't hit roadblocks and him trying to persuade me... yada yada yada. He eventually told me that the more thoughts he "thunked" on this subject, the more it made sense to not have kids and so, great! We started dating and the rest was history.
Now, about 6 years in, I went on a vacation with his family cause' well, I wanted to know them better and on Christmas Day, Dennis's father, we'll call him Tom (Ancient), sat me down in front of his 2 brothers and wife and told me how disappointment he was in me that I was not going to have kids. He then followed it up with and I'm quoting "A woman's duty is to have kids...." I blocked the rest out because I was TRAUMATIZED by these words. His family also weren't vaccinated (anti-vax) and everyone ended up getting Covid. I have Asthma (like rushed into the ICU twice and put on a ventilator bad) and though Dennis and I were vaccinated, the others weren't.
This trip ended up being one of the major hurdles both Dennis and I had to navigate through because he did not say anything, he didn't stand up for me, he basically didn't do anything. Though, he told me to not let he's father's words affect me cause who cares what he thinks and that at the end of the day it was our lives, he said and I quote "It's word fodder, tune it out" but I couldn't let it go and my view was that I was not close enough to his dad for him to be talking to me about my reproductive organs/purpose. We took a mini break but got back together with Dennis agreeing to be more aware and present when he's father pulls another one of this episodes.
Fast forward to current day - my younger sister and Dennis younger brother got together during our wedding (A whole nuanced convo for another day) and I was pissed because we were really going through a tough time financially and this mini wedding was supposed to be something nice for the both of us. My in-laws attended the wedding and added so many decorations on top of the ones Dennis and I had, my MIL put fairy lights on the tables and they had 2 huge flags of the country Dennis was from and we didn't see any of this because we were getting ready. Even during the ceremony when it was time for one of my cousin to give her speech, they hijacked the whole thing by doing some ceremony of their own. I decided to let it go because... well, Dennis and I were both so fucking tired. My wedding day was the saddest day of my life. When I look back, I cannot recall a single happy memory - I know they are there but I just... I can't look past what they did, ya know?
Anyway, 2 days after the wedding, my in laws threw a dinner for Dennis and I, we attended and Tom starts expressing his grievances as to his experience at our wedding and starts telling me that I need to start distancing myself from my family because I have now become a part of theirs - I told him no, although I am a part of his family, I will NEVER ever stop being involved in mine (I'm the oldest sister). He then proceeded to call me "damaged" because I was raised in a broken family because my parents are separated. Dennis stepped in and he quickly got shut down with Tom yelling verbal abuse at him. By then, even I knew it was time to shut our pie holes and live to fight another day.
Fast forward to present day, we have both moved to a different country and are thriving. We've never been more financially stable (I got my dream job...pinch me!), we go on coffee dates, life is good except... except for when Tom comes over to stay. He comes over twice a month and is constantly talking about masculinity and femininity and how we ought to implement it in our lives. One time, Dennis tried to stop him and Tom almost got physically abusive so I decided that instead of hiding behind my husband, I shall speak and let him know exactly what I was thinking. The next time he came over, he started talking about the same thing, imagine someone regurgitating podcast bro word vomit over and over again on an endless echo chamber? Yeah - the same talking points! So i told him that he is free to implement whatever he wants in his household but in ours, we do things differently. Tom asked me to explain and I did and he called Dennis a "simp". Dennis was not in the vicinity of the conversation at the time.
Oh yeah, one time when he came to visit, I went to the gym and I was on the treadmill doing 12-3-30 and fighting for my life when Tom decided to jump on the back of the treadmill to startle me. I had my fist rounded to punch him but stopped when I realized who it was. Slight detour, could someone explain to me what thought process goes through one's brain before deciding to jump someone?
Jokes aside, the last weekend, my sister called Dennis to mediate a fight she'd been having with my Brother-in-law. I didn't want to be a part of it but eavesdropped anyway - their fight was about my brother-in-law not feeling like he's doing feminine work when he cleans the house etc and he blamed my sister for being career driven, he said it was too masculine. Dennis in his infinite patience was trying to mediate the dumpsterfire (god bless him) but it all come to a close when brother-in law told my sister "no man is ever going to love you if you're this masculine". She immediately hung up (so proud!)
Now, she wants to break up with him but he refuses to answer her call.
Fast forward to the present day, Tom constantly shares videos to the family whatsapp group about men silencing women and how feminism is bad, blah, blah, blah... and how birth rates are falling. It's a constant thing. I've. muted and archived the family group (You gotta love technology).
Tom has also recently wrote a book on the importance of being a dad and the role a man should play within the family dynamic. It's horrendous! I read the draft and it was like watching a dead animal being plowed through miles and miles of tar. I'm not just talking about his ideologies, I'm talking about his writing style. It sounded very similar to my diary entries when I was 9 (I might come off as a little standoff-ish but I assure you, I am of quite intelligent).
Between being called "damaged", my wedding day, verbal abuse inflicted on my sister and being jumped on the treadmill (Look at that, I too do have infinite patience) I decided it was time to instead of putting band-aids on a burning fire to find a permanent solution to end this once and for all. I told Dennis that he is free to fly back to visit his parents whenever he wants to and on special occasions but I don't think I can at least for now. I told him about how I don't feel safe around Tom and his brothers and their ideologies and i implored him to understand, he gave me a huge hug and said he does and he will never force me to spend our hard earned savings and time and energy on something I don't want (What a catch!). I can't help but feel guilty because well, Dennis grew up around his family and though he spent more time in my country surrounded by my family, his family is still his. Will this create a rift in our marriage? Is this how resentment starts? I want nothing more than to see my husband laugh his heart out, and experience life for all the wonderful things it is. I have to know if he's not going to be thinking of his family and how he misses them and wants to be with them, etc. So, reddit, AITA?
For some more context, I grew up in a fairly progressive neighborhood and hosuehold. Ngl, I grew up extremely privileged and my dad often sent us to summer camps through the British Council to expand our worldview. At home, we often engaged in fierce debates around religion, worldview, politics and drugs. Hint, my dad is actually a fan of legalizing it. :) My parents eventually separated as most of ours do but I don't think we are "damaged" because of it. <3
There, I hope there is enough context.

Hi, new to posting on reddit. Also on mobile so I'm sorry about formatting.
I was in an almost 11 yr relationship until October 2023. I found out March 2022 that my now ex had cheated on me with our housemate of 8ish months when she stormed out of my birthday bbq, drunkenly yelling "I would be a better gf than [me]" The next day he admitted that not only had he cheated with her, he had also cheated from about July to December back in 2017 with another (who he trickle truthed name/details etc and I still think he lied because the later mentioned mutual friend hinted that it might have been her). And I found out that the only reason he admitted it was because 2nd AP threatened to if he didn't when he and the 2nd AP had "deleted all the message threads because it would hurt too much for me to see them". The other key phrases that stuck with me are "I didnt think it would hurt you this much", "I did it because you wouldnt give me what I needed" (a bit of context: the first affair happened when my company had a big management upheaval resulting in mass resignations, leaving me basically running what was supposed to be a 10-15 person department with myself, an admin assistant, a half trained technician and my apprentice, doing 16+ hour days and still coming home looking after kids, homework etc. Having regular full blown anxiety attacks, a kidney infection and a bad reaction to anxiety meds (leaving me unable to string a sentence together for days afterwards) I also lost my father in the time before the affairs came to light. The other part that stuck with me was that he kept using 3-10 repetitions of new behaviour as "see, I've changed" only to stop again until I brought up that he had stopped again. I realised it was short term change to manipulate me into staying.
I tried to forgive, I think I succeeded, I no longer wish harm on him or that the fleas of a thousand camels infest his crotch and his arms be too short to scratch, but i failed to forget (which he expected) and he failed to show consistent, reliable change and effort in the repair of our relationship. My final straw was when I realised I had explained to him that saying he would change and not doing anything towards making those words matter, was manipulation and felt like he didn't care enough to change, dozens of times, and his consistent response was "but I'm doing therapy, why isn't it good enough" and then bringing home this gem from his therapist "my therapist says my actions are emotionally mature and you just keep changing the goal posts" . On top of that were the "I loved you even when I was with [AP's]", and "I do respect you". I couldnt deal with the emotional manipulation of "I guess I'm just a horrible husband" anymore.
I broke it off, we were still in the same house, separate bedrooms until he realised I was serious and refused to spend couple time with him, so he moved out with his mate. He said I could stay in our house with my kids (previous relationship) until I had my house ready. He later changed his mind and kicked me and my 2 teens out because he "couldn't control who went into HIS house" as well as abandoning his dog (he loves you more than me) with my 2 dogs making it doubly hard to find a rental (we had agreed he got that house if I got a block of land we owned and the money to build on it) because a mutual friend told him she'd seen a guy at the house. The guy... was one of my best friends husbands friend. He tagged along to keep the husband company while I therapy drank (like 3 standard drinks, mostly just crying, and venting) with my friend. (I did end up dating the friend a month or so after all of this went down and he and I are so similar its like we've known each other forever... but not the point lol)
He dragged out the property settlement by changing stuff, he tried to lie about when we separated (tried saying July 2023 instead of October despite us still living together but in separate rooms), and he still hasn't actioned some of the agreement and we have 2.5 weeks left til the agreed date. He tried to "stay friends" and tried to hug me everytime he saw me... (he would stop by regularly while i was packing to "grab something") it got to the point where I asked him to let me know in advance if he wanted to grab something and I would vacate for the duration. If he turned up unannounced I would just ignored him like he didn't exist and he finally accepted that I was done.
I had already grieved the relationship after I found out he cheated, and multiple times afterwards when i got my hopes up again. Flat out told him he wasn't the man I loved, as the man I loved couldn't hurt me like he had. I communicated that I was staying to give him a chance to be someone I could love, to show me change that would make me feel safe and emotionally connected, (Personally amused by his response to that "you can't have loved me as much as I loved you if you can stop loving me so easily") and that it would need to be a whole new relationship, not fixing the old. Start entirely from scratch, honesty, loyalty, respect being the most important things to build. He disagreed but said he agreed and just did his own thing anyway.
I've been in my rental for 3-ish months now, separated for 7, and havent seen him for 2, I think. Recently though, I've been struggling with triggers and self sabotage/depression. I KNOW, 100%, that I made the right decision. I dont miss him. I dont hate him, if anything I kind of pity him for his weakness. I've always had to be the strong one, make the hard decisions, hell he supposedly didn't even realise that sharing our private relationship issues with another person you are attracted to was cheating...
On to today, I saw him in the shopping centre, with someone else and it hurt. Not because I miss him... but I'm guessing because the feelings of not being worthy of loyalty welled up. The feeling of being just one option in three instead of the ONLY. The "why wasn't I good enough?" The accepting him for exactly who he showed himself to be, but I wasn't enough for him. (Granted his 'who he showed me' wasn't the real him, it was a carefully cultivated mask to appeal to me specifically while he silently resented everything he expected but did not communicate, and got annoyed that I didn't mind read it from him)
Thankfully the "he wasn't good enough for me, so why do i feel this way" came back pretty quickly this time but it all just left me feeling hurt, confused and lost. I feel like my hurt is a betrayal to new guy I'm dating and that it's disloyal to feel this way. It feels wrong to admit that it hurt. I didn't deserve what he did to me, so why does it hurt all these months later? I deserve to be happy, but just seeing him in a shopping centre is enough to bring back the hurt, scared, version of me, I thought I was well into healing.
I feel like i just need to share this with people who have been in similar situations and hope someone has advice for me. No matter how much I sit in the feelings, I know it's not regret. It's not "I wish I could go back". Its hard to define.
I also use music to help me when I'm in this place, if anyones got recommendations (ps Me by Kelly Clarkson usually helps, great song) Thanks for reading, it was helpful just to write this out, even if no one replies.

Hi everyone,
TLDR: my (ex) GF dumped me due to me having a burn out, but we are still very close and will have a discussion in a month to see how things are. I thought I would be destroyed and to the contrary I am now motivated more than ever to change for the better and seek mental help.
I’m in a difficult spot. My ex (22F) GF with who I have been with for the last 2.5 years pretty much ended things with me. This is the timeline of how everything went :
Around a year ago (1.5 years into the relationship), I started developing a « burn out » due to work. Due to the nature of my work, I couldn’t get the care I needed (I’m in an European Army, where mental health is not seen as something serious) but I was also too affraid to get it, as it’s the first time I was in a such a mental despair. When I thought that it had only impacted my professional life, it did impact my private life aswell : I stopped speaking to friends out of the blue, stopped helping my GF (with whom I was living) with chores in the house, I stopped doing sports, …
I pretty much became a deadweight and I was not fun to be around (and this is something I did not realize, I was so focused on my work and how it made me feel awful, that I neglected everyone around me).
Yesterday, I had a talk with my ex-GF and she confessed to me that she had actually started to resent my love for her and that she was not in love with me anymore for about 5-6 months. What triggered this was a city trip which was poorly planned and which we did not enjoy for the both of us. Obviously there’s more to it, and I pretty much screwed up her birthday and important events for her (such as not attending a family BBQ). I was also scared of meeting her mother as she had sent me threats by text at the beginning of the relationship. I was clearly at fault and I hate myself for that. The « me » I was a few years ago would have never done this, but I’ve let my poor mental health cloud my judgement and my vision of life, love, work, friendships…
Looking back on those last 5-6 months I realise how awful of a boyfriend I was : I stopped caring about her, stopped organizing dates, stopped taking care of things for the both of us … I took her for granted and we had a communication issue where she saw that I was miserable and did not want to tell me the truth to not hurt me, as she still values me a lot and still has a lot of affection for me. This shocked me as I was deeply blinded by my burn out and that was what I was thinking about pretty much all the time. We were thus pretty unhappy for the both of us and never talked about the elephant in the room. It was a bad situation and I now recognize it, but its too late.
She (and I rightfully so) thought that breaking up with me would make me shut down on myself, but it pretty much had the opposite effect. I’m now incredibly motivated to get better ASAP. I’ve contacted all my friends that I had lost touch with. I’m also incredibly motivated to see a psychologist, as I feel that I can not continue in this state of mind anymore. I am about to get back into a rugby team and pretty much wants to do sports 24/7 as opposed to before where I had 0 motivations. I think I see that light at the end of the tunnel, and I feel so happy about it. I don’t think this relationship held me back, but my ex-GF breaking up with me pretty much forced me to get back into reality and face the consequences of my action for once.
When I look back on who I was for this past year, I see someone else : I always did a lot of sports, was fun to be around and positive. This last year, I wasn’t doing any sports, pretty much always stayed home, and was very negative. This break up shook me to my core for the better I think, but I need help identifying what I should change. I want to change for the better, and to become the man I once was (or someone new! Who knows, as long as I get better :) ) I have already identified a few things : my difficulty to process and communicate my emotions, my organisational skills which are very poor, but I need the help of a psychologist to sort this mess out. I obviously need to get back into sports as well.
Now, she needs to prepare an exam and will take a month off to go her father’s place, as he has brain cancer and needs someone to be with him + she wants to spend some time with him. While discussing, we agreed to give ourselves one month, her to study and me to get betteimprove (and pass some exams but this is secondary to me now as I need to get better first). She said that we would have an honest discussion in a month time, around the beginning of july. She will also move out of our appartment by then (and my sister will take her place so I will keep our appartment)
But since we are so very close one with another, I went with her to her father’s place and plan on staying there for the firsts 2-3 days (which is where I am right now), and to then see her occasionally when she comes back in our city during the month. My sister and a good friend live very close to her father’s place, so I am planning on seeing them. While on the way there (we had already broken up by then) we had the most refreshing and honest conversation, it felt like the first time when we were honest and did not fear losing one another, nothing was holding us back and we were very honest and transparent with each other. It did hurt me a bit because I felt that chemistry we once had. I was able to communicate what I felt and was able to tell her stuff I wouldn’t have told her before. Compared to just a few days ago, it was night and day. I feel like this break up really changed my state of mind for the better.
But, I’m very afraid of losing her, we are both very close to one another and she wants us to stay friend in the future, but for now I cannot see her as just a friend, since I still have a lot of feelings for her. I want to win her back, slowly but surely, and show her that I deeply changed and got rid of my issues.
My plan is to use this month (and the followings) to get better and in shape. I want to see a psychologist 2 times a week to work on my communication issues. I had a tendency of not expressing how I was feeling and what I thought and this did hurt us as a couple. I will also get back into sports like I was before (running 3/4x a week, getting back into a rugby club, ..). I also contacted a few friends I stopped speaking with (some of which are mutual friend) to apologize to them and explain them how I came to ignore them, and how I want to see them again. I will give her space, and time, to care for her father, to properly study and to get away from me for some time. But I look forward for this discussion beginning of july.
I want to change, I am tired of not feeling well and not having any motivation, and for the first time in a year, my motivation is through the roof
I’m really motivated and pumped to change for the better. I was letting myself slide into a severe burn out in a destructive way for me and my relationships, and I now see that exit door out of this situation. I want to change first and foremost for me, as I couldn’t continue to live like I was living, but I also want to change for my (now ex) GF, to prove her that I’m motivated to win her back. I’m not willing to let this relationship go away, but to do this I need to first work on myself. Obviously if we get back together, I want to work on us and fix what was holding us back.
Since we split up yesterday, I feel amazing (but still very hurt since she was and still is my everything). For the first time in a year, I got my motivation back. I see now clearly what I need to do and how I will win her back. I’m also with her for the next 2-3 days and having honests, transparents, conversations really help me see what I did wrong, how I hurt her and how I can move forward.
I don’t want to held on to an impossible hope : She told me she can not promise me she will one day love me again, but I felt like she is also not closed on the idea and is ready to discuss it. It’s still very new and I don’t want to push this for now, I first need to work on myself before I can think about how to win her back.
Now Reddit, what do you think of this situation ? Is there any hope left ? What else should I do ? Am I missing something obvious ? Was someone here in a similar situation ?
I really want to change and grow for the better, feel free to be brutally honest if needed :)

Techno has always been a comfort for me. I’ve watched his videos countless times, and could probably quote the potato wars word by word. I’ve been missing him more as it gets close to two years of his passing, and it still doesn’t feel real. None of it feels real. I ordered a hoodie the day after I found out about his passing, and it has taken me well over a year to even be able to put it on for the first time. I only ever knew him through a screen, yeah, but he still made such a huge impact on my life, and I will forever be grateful to all he has done for me and millions of others. Happy birthday, Technoblade. Rest in peace.

First love(18 m) - Can I ever move on from her?
Okay I don't want to sound filmy and all . Neither it was relationship In class 7 fpr 2 months . We were in a relationship for more than 3 years years . Sh was my first love. She was the most perfect girl I have ever seen . She was cute, intelligent , emotionally understanding,bubbly , never created a scene just cz she was bored as I heard for other girl , she sacrificed all the male friends for me which was so wrong . Things got so dreamy that she told me Even if you curse me I will still never leave you . Doesn't it seem everything like a dream?
But hear me out . I was the most toxic bf ever to exist. I was so fucking immature and never understood her problems at her home. I never gave the love that she deserve was a bit manipulative too cz of my toxic childhood and still stayed with me . I always said you will cheat on me cz my mother did and I could never trust her . She deleted all her male contacts for me And she was a very shy person never posted anything on social media just used it for me . Nobody could imagine not marrying her if it was a healthy relationship. I guess even for a bit toxic relationship she would have sacrificed. She did all possible ways to make me happy . She sacrificed her individualism for me. Even her mother loved me so much. She supported both of us even gave me chocolate and everything. Although hee father was strict as hell she took risk . Tears are running down constantly as I am writing this . We started dating right after 10th and continued the relationship uptill 12th and after that also .
Genuinely Telling I never understood her and just saw her as my mother that she would cheat. But she wasn't like that . Man I was not very sexy or handsome. I was mid . Man I could never get out of this guilt even if I make myself the best human in the world . But she was literally the best human to exist . Can you imagine she never even had any faults? Man at this point I could write a book about her I guess and not a single piece of this is Exaggeration. She even after getting so much immaturity from me last year on her birthday she told me I am the best gift that God has given to me .
After our 12th she decided to go for a drop in kota for neet. Goddammit she was so focused. I was a jee aspirant and I had heard people taking 4 drops and getting upto 580 and she pulled up from 100s to vey close to 600s in a single drop ? She has decided to take another drop from kota itself .
After going to kota I still was insecure she would cheat. She started ignoring me and getting busy in her work. There was a guy who was her father's friend's son and even he was the greenest flag . He said he manages 4 companies at this young age and he has also a gf of many years . He made her realize how toxic I was and made her heal . Man we had a big fight in June and that was it . She told me she don't want to live and I did not take it as a warning . She told me she wanted break and I also agreed cz I would have time to rethink about my emotions and I started preparing hard for jee .We even contacted after that in September normally and it was normal talk and she started ignoring me cz of fear of fights again . She even called me when she came to my city after all these but I was too guilty of myself that I did not have the courage to pick it up .
Now when all exams got over I contacted her and she told me she moved on , has a bf of 2 months . I cannot get over the guilt from all of this . We made promises to Marry each other and I ruined it.
Right now I am just numb , I don't know what to do. I guess afrr this incident I will never be able to talk to any girl or even find anyone attractive or even if I get with one I guess I will never be able to forgive myself . Many of you in this sub are older than me and prolly most mature than me so I just want an advice . I guess rhis relationship will never get fulfilled but Do I have even a single chance to get back to her . Even if 0.01% ? I am ready to do anything in my hands to improve and make myself a better person and a person who anyone would be blessed to stay with . I am not talking about just romantic relationship but also any type of relationship with people . After 10- 20 years even if she comes back I will stay with her. Is there even a single chance or happened like this with anyone ? I think people will say it's better to forget her but I will never move on. I am ready to do anything to be worthy of her. I have heard many cases of many men being cheated multiple times and even I witnessed it . Is there a way to get out of this fear? Or do anything so that it does not happen ? Although I deserve every worse things . Can I ever move on from her in my entire life? Or you have any suggestions for me ? I don't know if people ever saw God how would it be but one thing I know now that she was the closest to God. I wish if I realised all of this before we could happily live forever . But if reincarnation really happens I want her to be mine in my next life , if she isn't mine in this life . I will work on myself right now and will try to make myself actually worthy but still I don't know if I will ever get back to her. I will be really grateful if you all please give me suggestions.
Tldr : My gf of more than 3 years was the perfect girl to ever exist and I was so immature and got very toxic and insecure . I am scared if I will ever move on from her . She was the most perfect girl I have evee seen in my life. And if it's possible please read the entire story and suggest me what should I do .

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Wide-Area-6779
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
Previous BoRU #1, + BoRU 2 originally posted by u/Direct-Caterpillar77
[New Update] - His mistress made him a better husband. I feel nauseous.
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: emotional infidelity, physical assault, verbal abuse, manipulation
Original Post: November 22, 2023
This is a throwaway. I’m just nauseous and want to vent please let me do it here?
Everything changed about 3 years ago and my husband became my dream man. Before that, we suffered a lot in our marriage. After 2 hard pregnancies and PPD my libido was diminished and we fought all the time. After 4 years of dead bedroom we started therapy. I thought that was where the improvement came from.
My husband started paying attention to me. In the beginning I was panicking because whenever he paid me attention before he expected sex but now it felt like he was seeing me as a human being for the first time. He was attentive and caring. Emphatic. He touched and cuddled and kissed me out of the blue, without wanting sex in return. He started helping around the house, bringing me flowers, take out dinners when I work late, planning date nights. Anniversaries, birthdays and holidays are planned perfectly and I started getting the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts. When we fought, he would come the next day and admitted his wrongs and very accurately (if he was the one in the wrong) something he never did before. He would apologize too when back in the days him apologizing would be a blow to his ego. He said he was happy all the time and lucky to have us as his family. Everything was better and I even got my libido back if not as high as I hoped.
I found their conversation about 5 days ago and I have probably spent over 50 hours reading them. 3 years worth of conversation. He would tell her his woes and she would listen. 99 out of 100 times she sided with me. She taught him about intimacy and how important it is in marriages. The tragically funny part is that he never got angry or offended by her telling him off. Calling him silly, stubborn or at times man baby. Her honesty was brutal and yet he agreed with her. She was the one suggesting all the changes and he would ask her for advice about gifts, traveling and all the beautiful things he did for our family.
He thanks her all the time for helping him turn his miserable home life around, making it tolerable. With all these texts there were the texts between them that are about them like nobody else existed around them. The flirting, sextalk and pictures. The longing to see each other.
He says she is the love of his life every day and that he wishes their circumstances were different. She says the same. They both agree that divorce would ruin their families and that they couldn’t be that selfish. how admirable!
I feel nauseous. My happiness for the past three years was fake. I don’t know what to do. I want to hurt them. I want to expose them and I want to ruin whatever they think is perfect happiness
Hi!
I’m getting chat requests about my comments not being visible. Is this normal? I’m trying to answer you guys. Sorry
Hi again
Since I can’t comment and I can’t answer all the chats I will answer here
I am 35. My husband is 39 we have two children 9&7
She is 40 and she has one child 14. She is in a dead bedroom with her husband too and for 14 years.
The affair is physical too yes but they meet maybe once every month or every other month. She tells my husband that what they feel is probably limerence but that they don’t know it yet because they meet so little. She lives in another city
 
Update - My husband left me after I told his mistress’s husband about their affair.: March 19, 2024 (4 months later)
I was here some weeks ago, with my original post. I finally decided that I really should reach out to the husband of my husband’s mistress. I found him easily and I contacted him. He didn’t believe me at first and was rude about it and told me to go f myself. I hesitated to contact him again to be honest but after a few days I realized that I would too not believe a stranger just popping in my dms accusing my SO of cheating so I recorded my husband’s phone with my phone. Especially the messages where she’s sent explicit photos and stuff. I also went to the contact to show the number. He didn’t answer me the first day then he called me the c-word and blocked me. I thought well then, I have done my part and it’s on him if he believed me or not. Then after a week my husband came home angry and he yelled at me for exposing them. He asked me why I didn’t confront him instead, my problem was with him. I have never seen him yell like this then he packed a bag and left for about a week. I think he’s traveled to her.
When he got home he said that it was over. He said that he has been trying to make me happy for years and he’s done everything a good husband would do but still, nothing was good enough for me. I’ve made him miserable for years and instead of taking it out on him, I chose to hurt a woman and her child. He moved to his parents house and now he’s renting an apartment I have heard that he travels the weeks he doesn’t have the children to be with her and that she’s moving here soon when she gets full custody of her child.
I have not been feeling well at all. He has never spoken to me directly since he left and I haven’t seen him. He adamantly refuses to talk to me. Like I never existed in his life. I don’t know what I have done to deserve this treatment. I hate that they won.
Relevant Comments

So basically your cheating ex is trying to blame you for him cheating. The delusion of cheaters.
You only informed the mistress's husband that she couldn't keep her legs closed to a cold breeze.
He had a right to know. Onwards and upwards.
UpdateMe

OOP He didn’t blame me for anything. He doesn’t care that he cheated. He was only angry that her husband hurt her and her child.
Maybe my post was this convoluted that everyone here is thinking he is trying to put the blame in me? He doesn’t care at all. He just thought that I should have confronted him instead because he was the one who cheated on me.
I told everyone around us what he done and he doesn’t even care

~

Lost-and-dumbfound: The last 3 years of your marriage were a lie. You know that now. Who he is the person he treated you before his affair partner had to convince him to be good to you. He is not a good person.
Do they even really know each other? Like how it is to be around each other on a daily basis. They are genuinely dumb to think the list will stay with 3 kids around plus handling chores and day to day things of life. They have 2 custody battles ahead of them and divorced on top of it.
If he’s angry with you the next time you have to see him, ask him why? He got what he wanted. He wanted to be with her and now he is. So why is he angry that you gave him what you wanted.
It’s probably shame that he’s painted to be a cheater. Not he can’t manipulate the narrative and paint you as the bad person.
If what they won is each other? Let them have each other. They are both awful people so they deserve each other

OOP: He is not angry about the divorce. He is angry I told the husband instead of him because the husband hurt her and her kid

DrNefariousMcFarious: He’s not angry bc of that, he always assumed that if you found out he could gaslight you into thinking that it was somehow your fault or not happening, but by you telling the other husband, there was no getting around it.

OOP: No he is angry about me putting his AP in danger.. he gives zero fucks about staying in our marriage or not. He only was with me to help raise the children and probably wait for her to get rid of her husband. I am not trying to he dramatic here but the soon I realize the truth the better is is for me to move on I think

~

jimmyb1982: You didn't ruin a wife and child's life. The cheating wife did that herself. She deserves everything bad that happens to her. As for your cheating pile of crap? Lawyer up and divorce him. You wl be much happier.

OOP: Nobody deserves to be hurt, especially not children but I didn’t know

inquiryreport: You probably should not have let your MIL in on this idea. Her first reaction is going to be that it will threaten her ability to see the grand kids and her son’s ability to be a father. Even if you think she is on your team have to assume she isn’t.

OOP: Yeah it was a big mistake

OOP Added this comment to a different post
Here
Thanks to u/SinceWayLastMay for these comments adding more context
OOP comments on another post admitting she told him on purpose as an act of revenge:

OOP: I did the same and told the woman’s husband that she was cheating. Purely for revenge too. It didn’t feel good and she ended up in the hospital. It didn’t get the effect I craved either. That my husband would come begging to forgive me. Instead he was repulsed by me especially because she and her kid were hurt because of the revelation.

Commenter: Don’t believe your husband if he says his mistress was abused. It’s the sort of lie he would use just to make you feel guilty. Your husband is a practiced liar, keep in mind that this is likely untrue coming from him.

OOP: Well she was hospitalized so

Commenter: It seems to me that the AP was in an abusive relationship and was preparing her exit strategy. The WP seems done with the marriage and was also preparing to leave. OP exposing the affair put the AP in danger and that seems the reason why WP is so angry and his comment about hurting a women and child. I think he expected her to be angry at him and when exposed confess and get a divorce.instead she hurt the women he loves.
Again this is just an explanation to understand the circumstances. I definitely don't condone cheating and have a rather intense disgust for cheaters. Still food for thought.

OOP: Yes, when her child is old enough because she didn’t want to share custody with her husband. That’s what I gathered from when I was reading their messages
That’s exactly what happened. You wrote it better

 
I want full custody of my children after he went and beat up his mistress’s husband within an inch of his life and ended up in jail.: March 22, 2024
This morning I got a call from my mother in law that my husband has been in jail for the past couple of days and only got out this morning but the charges weren’t dropped. Apparently his mistress and her husband had another altercation last weekend and she ended up hurt again.
Now I want full custody of my children. He is out but charges are not dropped so it will probably lead to some punishment. I don’t know if family court would count this in case I want full custody and supervised visits. My mother in law was hostile when I told her this and she’s one of the people who have supported me so I am expecting some push back. I don’t care.
Adding this comment from the last BoRU for more context
Here
Provided by u/nekocorner
So I went back through OOP's comments and read them completely differently than you did. The comment about AP being in the hospital was in response to someone telling her not to believe her husband just claiming the AP was hurt bc he is a practised liar. There was also this exchange between another commenter and OOP:

Commenter: There are moments when people deserve to be punched in the face. Yes I know I am advocating violence here. [...]

OOP: What a disgusting comment

Commenter: It was in support of you but if that is how you feel, I will happily withdraw it.

OOP: I don’t want support from wife beaters

Commenter: I was talking about your husband deserving to be punched not the mistress. Who says a thing like that.

OOP: Ok sorry I misunderstood you. But she got punched literally so I thought you condoned it . I won’t punch my husband. Nobody is worth me losing my humanity

OOP also has the following comments:

Nobody deserves to be hurt, especially not children but I didn’t know
What a disgusting garbage comment. Nobody deserves to be beaten by their spouse.

And this exchange:
Commenter: Why didn’t you confront him first? Were you simply seeking revenge? Did you get what you wanted?

OOP: Yes I was seeking revenge. No, I expected them to feel ashamed and apologize [emphasis mine]

I think it's worth remembering that we're reading this on a compressed time scale, with all (or "all") the facts before us, but OOP probably got bits and pieces of information, miscommunication, and miscommunicated, herself. It's a little hard to parse bc the two paragraphs aren't as fully connected as you might expect, but my read of this comment

OOP: Yes, when her child is old enough because she didn’t want to share custody with her husband. That’s what I gathered from when I was reading their messages
That’s exactly what happened. You wrote it better

Is that the first paragraph is what she understood from reading the messages between her husband and his AP: that the AP was waiting for the child to be older bc she didn't want to share custody, but didn't know why. The second paragraph, the response to the commenter, is an acknowledgement of what has happened since everything blew up, and her understanding of the situation now, in hindsight.
I also think that her idea of "revenge" was the same thing we see in a lot of these cheater stories - tearful recriminations, begging for forgiveness, etc etc, maybe a little bit of public shaming. That's partly why she repeatedly mentions how "he doesn't care about the divorce, he doesn't care about me telling everybody" etc.
Re: the rough patches in their marriage bit, I gotta say, that sounds a lot like the husband was constantly complaining about OOP to her and other people/family, to the point where she began to believe she was the sole (screeching harpy of a) problem in the marriage. But husband is also someone who: refuses to apologize, is only nice to his wife when he wants sex, and cheats on OOP.
 
He celebrated Mother’s Day with his mistress and her son: May 12, 2024 (2 months later)
Thank you so much for staying in touch and I am so sorry that I cannot answer your dms. I haven’t been active on Reddit and I have received tens of dms every day since my posts. I have been trying to adjust to life as a single mother. It is hard and especially the weeks I don’t have my children. Unfortunately, I could not convince court to give me sole custody even with my husband’s pending legal issues due to him not having any priors. He however succeeded to limit my family’s access citing parental alienation. I am not allowed my children around my family without supervision (MIL). All of this actions are temporary however until we get a court date. He is refusing to meet or talk to me for any reason besides texting about the children.
He is not in jail (for those who are asking) he has no priors so he is out. He will probably not be getting any jail time either but rather parole. Anyway, his mistress has secretly recorded some of the abuse she was getting from her husband and she has sole custody of their child now. She has moved to our city and she and her child are living with my MIL. Yes, MIL and from what I have gathered, she lives with my husband on the days I have the children.
Today I was out with my children and my friend and her children to have mother’s day brunch. I was the happiest I been for months because I got a bouquet of flowers and chocolate that is signed from my children (worlds best mom) and I knew that it was from my husband. Anyway when we arrived to the restaurant, there he was with his mistress and her child. They were celebrating mother’s day too. Her son was sitting between them and she had gift papers and flowers all around her on the table. I froze and wanted to leave but he came and apologized and said that he didn’t mean for this. She was crying and hugging her son. I wanted to faint because my children were so excited to see him and wanted to go inside and eat brunch with their dad. He told our children that it was mommy’s day then he asked me if I wanted her to leave so the children can have lunch with both of us. I just left with the children and took them to McDonald’s instead. He sent me a long text saying how sorry he was and how he wished that he loved me as much as I deserved and that he wished me to find love soon. He doesn’t regret our marriage and hope I don’t either because we got our beautiful children out of it that we need to raise and to not punish them because of what he did. Please let us not let our resentment of each other to spill out on our children. Let us promise to keep them happy and loved. Let us not use them as pawns. I asked him what I lacked that she has. A question that have been living rent free inside my head He said to stop this. This is futile. I insisted and I called him and he answered for the first time in months. I told him I wanted to know. No matter how harsh the truth was I can’t live without knowing. He said Mothing. I lacked nothing and she is not better in any way. He just loves her and loves himself when he is with her. He feels real and genuine happiness with her that he never felt in his entire life. I hang up and he texted I am sorry. This is the truth you asked for. You are not less than. You lack nothing. Please let us give our children the good life they deserve. Don’t hurt them to hurt me
I don’t know what I have done in my previous life to deserve this. The way he was with her. He never looked at me that way not even when we first met. I don’t know how to stop thinking about them. It is in my brain all day. I want full custody of my children and I will fight for it as much as I can. She will never be their step mother. Her custody is not finalized either and hopefully she will have to move back to her city so her husband can have visitation rights and she is out of my life. If my husband wants to move to be with her. My children stay with me.
Relevant Comments
OOP told to be careful around the husband, and asked what his mother thinks

OOP: Well I am not stupid and he can record me all he wants because I was very calm and I genuinely agree that the children come first. Even her child tbh. But I know that she only had emergency custody of hers because of the assault but I know the rules here and she will probably need to move back soon because her husband has right to meet his son. In that case my husband can move away but he can’t have custody because I want a stable home for them. I don’t know why I am getting hate in my dms calling me vindictive.
I am very grateful to you and others who are mentioning that she is coaching him to say things. Of course! How stupid was I not to figure this out. From not talking to me for a second to being all nice and begging me to forgive him and to keep it amicable? Of course it is her. Even mother’s day flowers was probably from her.
MIL is very devastated about what happened and she visits me every day even when the children aren’t home. She said that she had to take her in until she gets her own place. No she is not allowed to meet the children and it is already decided and MIL is making sure this is not the case. I understand that MIL chooses her son but she hasn’t given up on me.
I have talked a lot with mom about what happened and no she doesn’t feel guilty. She said that it was different (of course it is🙄) hers was real love and dad’s ex was very abusive. I don’t know, I don’t believe in karma or anything but she said that she at least understands now how dad’s ex felt. I feel anger because some people win and some lose and I still love him very much. I regret exposing what happened. At least I could have had 4 more years together. And the children would have been a bit older. I regret so much things that I have done in a moment of grief and anger

OOP When told to be careful what she puts in text messages and once again be weary of the mistress

OOP: Thanks. I have been very careful about texting because as I am keeping all the evidence, I am counting on him doing that too. About his mistress, it is less “evil” than that because I was wrong about her recording the abuse. She stole the surveillance her husband had installed around their house to spy on her. MIL told me this today. She is probably hoping for full custody but I know the rules here and he will have right to see his son no matter so the c-word will have to move back sooner or later.
Only them I will be asking for full custody if my husband moves with her to her city because I don’t want a part time father to my children who shows up whenever he pleases. I want stability. He is either a father or not

 

----NEW UPDATE----

When my mother in law told me that my husband’s mistress is leaving him to go back to her husband; I felt I could finally move on from my marriage.: May 25, 2024
It turned out that was exactly my mother in law’s plan. She is a therapist and she used that to “get me to leave her son alone and let him go”. The embarrassing thing is that she almost succeeded. Or should I succeeded? When I heard that his mistress, who he threw me and our marriage for. Who he broke his children home for, left him to go back to her husband, I saw him as a pathetic little man not worth my love. My feelings for him disappeared. I felt that I was finally free and could move on. The man who broke me, has got his karma.
Until I saw him this morning having a picnic at the park with her. His head in her lap and she was playing with his hair. I called my mother in law and started crying asking her why they were still seeing each other. She started begging me to calm down, leave them alone and to not make a scene or try to hurt them. She did it for me. If I thought he was losing I would not see him as a prize and wouldn’t be fixated on winning him back.
Is that really her picture of me? Unstable and vindictive? That I would make a scene or hurt Anyone? Was I hurt? Angry? Broken? Yes! Of course! I have lived through hell this past year and I lost everything that I loved and valued. But the way she is trying to make me sound like I am an unstable psychopath? But why was she right anyway? Why did I get turned off by my husband and finally could let him go in my heart when I heard that his mistress had left him?
I texted him, told him everything. Told him what his mom has done. Told him that I am over him and no longer in love with him and that I wished him happiness. I told him that I never want my mother in law to call or talk to me again. All that’s left now is our children and we need to be the best co parents to them. This will be my last text directed to my husband that I ever sent. I am finally ready to move on.
Relevant Comments
OOP on the co-parenting relationship with her ex

OOP: We have co parenting relationship. They live with us a week each. Since the beginning of the year

Commenter: Did he reply anything to your text? Did he react when they saw you in the park?

OOP: He acted like he didn’t see me. He didn’t answer my text. Maybe he knew already what his mother planned

Commenter: A cheating spouse can really hurt your soul at such a deep level. I'm glad you have decided to start the healing process. The road won't be without some bumps, but in time, you will start to feel better. One day, you'll wake up, and the air will seem cleaner, the sun brighter, and you'll realize you are smiling more.

OOP: I can’t wait to feel that again

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Trigger Warning: This script contains mentions of self harm and suicidal ideation.
This script holds a special time that occurred years ago, meaning yes, it is a true story. I had a friend who dealt with abusive parents, as such he went as far as to even move to my house to get away with them. Sure, we weren't dating at the time, but we were close with one another (and kinda acted like we did). Even though he no longer lives with me, we still keep in touch. When writing this script, I ended up getting emotional and nearly teared up, but I got through to finishing it. Also yes, this is in line with the story involving the first few of my scripts.
As always, go ahead if you would like to use this monetization-free script under crediting my YT Handle @"AkitaScripts".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Synopsis: You and your girlfriend have been together for about a month, yet she has never visited your house nor has she ever met your parents. One night, she gets an unexpected visit from you. When asked about what’s wrong, you shrug it off and refuse to look at her. She begins to worry, and worries even more about the truth you’ve hid in your house…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(It’s a rainy night. The stars are covered by the dark clouds. Your girlfriend, the VA, is in her room, listening and humming to one of her playlists, studying for the next test. She barely hears the door open, and a faint voice calls out for her.)
VA: (hums along to one of the songs in the playlist, unaware of whoever was calling her downstairs)
(Suddenly, the door unlocks and opens, and you walk in, holding two backpacks on your back and a pile of clothes, damp from the rain, covering a majority of your face except for your eyes, as if you were crying minutes earlier.)
VA: (turns around) Chloe, I’ve told you so many times- oh hey, babe! (takes off her headphones) Here, lemme help you with that.
(The VA gets up in an attempt to help hold your pile of clothes, but you turn around.)
VA: Hey… oh, do you… need to take the bookbags off?
[muffled pause]
VA: What?
[pause]
VA: Oh okay… (helps you take one of the bookbags off) Why did you bring two? You only carry one around at school...
(You don’t respond, and just take the other, putting it somewhere in her room)
VA: (places your other bookbag near it) Babe?
[pause]
VA: Are you okay..?
[pause]
VA: You can put your clothes on my bed… but stop dodging my question. Are you okay-
[pause]
VA: Okay, geez… sorry for upsetting you.
(You drop your clothes on the VA’s bed, and sit down next to the pile. The VA closes her bedroom door)
VA: (sits down next to you) Is everything alright…? You’ve never acted like this before.
[pause]
VA: Grumpy mood, I guess? Here, hold still, lemme ki- (attempts to lean in to kiss you, but you turn your head away)
VA: (gasps) Did you just… reject a kiss from me?!
[pause]
VA: You’re not mad at me, are you?
[pause]
VA: Then if you’re not mad at me, what’s wrong?
(Silence.)
VA: (moves closer to you) Can I at least hug you?
(You shrug your shoulders.)
VA: Is that a yes or a no? I can’t read shoulders unless they have angels and devils on them.
(You don’t say anything.)
VA: I’ll… take that as a no. Do you want me to get you anything downstairs? Food? Water? Maybe some popcorn so we can watch a movie?
(You shake your head from side to side, signaling a no.)
VA: Do you want me to go back to work? I do have this test to study for...
[quiet pause]
VA: Babe, speak up.
[pause]
VA: Well, if you don’t want anything to eat or drink, and you don’t want me to go back to studying… then what do you want me to do?
[pause]
VA: You want me to stay here with you?
[pause]
VA: Hey. (reaches and holds your hand) Look at me.
(You refuse to look at her.)
VA: Babe. Look at me, I’m talking to you.
(You look away from her.)
VA: Babe..? (leans in closer to wrap her arms around you)
(While still looking away, you try to flip over one of your shirts in the pile to hide something… red.)
VA: Hey… what was that?
[pause]
VA: What do you mean “nothing”? Something was clearly in the pile.
[pause]
VA: No, that did not look like a bug. (reaches and leans over to grab the top shirt from the pile) Lemme see-
(You try to move the pile away, but she grabs the top shirt from it)
VA: Hey… don’t try to move it. (sits back down and unfolds the shirt) Hm, it’s all damp from the rain, and there’s… (stops and looks at the red smudge on the shirt)
VA: (turns to look at you, while you’re still looking away) Babe… What is this?
[pause]
VA: Stop lying to me, this is not ketchup. It doesn’t even look like it… (looks closer, and catches a strange smell from the stain) It smells… off..
(You continue to look away from her, not saying anything.)
VA: Babe… is this… Is this blood?
[pause]
VA: What do you mean, you fell down? How did you… when did… (turns to you) Look at me.
(You refuse to look at her)
VA: Babe… please, just…
(The VA turns your head to face her, yet you refuse to fight back. The VA just stares at you, speechless, seeing the red cut on the side of your face.)
VA: Babe… (gently combs the side of your hair) What… What happened?
[pause]
VA: Babe, your “falling down” excuse isn’t gonna work again, tell me the truth. What the hell happened?
[pause]
VA: (speechless) W-What?! You… you got cut..?!
[pause]
VA: Babe… how… who… why… Are.. are you still bleeding..?
[pause]
VA: Are you injured anywhere else..?
(You roll up your sleeve to reveal a massive bruise on your arm)
VA: (drops her jaw in shock) Oh my gosh.. Okay… (gets up) Stay here, I’m getting a first aid kit! (rushes out the door) And don’t do anything while I’m not in the room!
(You overhear the VA talking downstairs)
VA: (faint) No Chloe, he’s not fine! Where’s the first aid kit?!
VA: (faint) Yes, I can take care of him! I know what I’m doing! I don’t need you to do it! You’ve already done your job for years, so I can handle it!
(footsteps approach the door, and the VA steps back in)VA: (under her breath) Gosh, I just wish she would leave the house…
[pause]
VA: (talks to you) Yeah, I got the first aid kit.. Here, hold still.
(The VA begins to clean off the blood from your face, but you flinch away)
VA: Hey, stop flinching, babe! I know it stings, but it’s not gonna hurt as much.
[pause]
VA: I can’t just put a Band-Aid on it and call it a night. I have to apply iodine onto the wound and clean it before it causes an infection. (wipes off the blood) There… Now I can apply the Band-Aid. (unwraps a Band-Aid from a small box)
(You give her a weird look from the type of Band-Aid)
VA: What? (looks at the Band-Aid) Oh, it’s a Disney princess one. Yeah sorry, it’s the only one in the box.
[pause]
VA: You’re not gonna look stupid! No one’s gonna look at you! And plus, it’s not like I’m gonna post a photo of me patching up my favorite boyfriend! (playfully pokes your nose)
(You give her a stern look)
VA: Okay, I’ll shut up! But I promise, it’s not that bad! (gently applies the Band-Aid onto your face) There! Wasn’t that bad?
[pause]
VA: Don’t worry… it’ll be better by tomorrow… now for the bruise on your arm. Just… um… (blushes)
[pause]
VA: No, you don’t have to take off your shirt, but… if you want to…
(You unhesitantly try to take off your shirt, but your arm still hurts)
VA: Okay.. you’re actually doing it… um… do you… Do you need me to help you?
[pause]
VA: Sure, here… sorry if I… gosh, I’m sorry, I’m having intrusive thoughts right now.
(The VA helps you take off your shirt, exposing the bruise and revealing another on your back)
VA: Oh my… (speechless) I thought it was just on the arm, but no, it’s on your back too?!
[pause]
VA: Okay… be right back, Imma get some ice..! (leaves the room)
(Once again, you overhear the VA talk downstairs)
VA: (faint) Chloe, stop asking if he looks hot without his shirt on! He’s my boyfriend!! Stop messing with me about it! Just… where’s the ice?!
VA: Yes, I know it’s in the freezer, smarty pants!
(You hear her footsteps approach the door, and she walks out. When she sees you, the VA starts blushing again.)
[pause]
VA: Yeah, I’m fine… I’ve just… I’ve never seen you shirtless before… Anyways, here’s the ice. (gives you a bag of ice) Apply that onto your arm, and I’ll put this onto your back.
(The VA sits down behind you, and helps put ice to cool down the bruise on your back)
VA: So… do you… Are you okay with telling me what happened..? Because you weren’t like this earlier at school today.
[pause]
VA: It’s something you’ve never told me..?
[pause]
VA: Your… parents?
[long pause]
VA: (listens) Wait.. really?! They… they hurt you?!
[pause]
VA: Is it your mother or father that does it?
[pause]
VA: Both?!
[pause]
VA: And… How often do they do this..?
[pause]
VA: They hurt you almost every week?
[pause]
VA: Okay, emotionally, I understand, but… have they ever… physically… hurt you? Like with what’s happened tonight?
[pause]
VA: Sometimes?
[pause]
VA: When… When was the last time they’ve physically hurt you like this..?
[pause]
VA: Wait.. (puts down her bag of ice) 6 months ago?!
[pause]
VA: That’s… Isn’t that when we first met?!
[pause]
VA: Wait, so lemme guess… you were out of your house… all because you didn’t feel safe in there with your parents?
[pause]
VA: Oh my… oh my gosh… (in a sorrowful voice) I… I didn’t think… that’s how you felt back then… (looks at you) Why… Why didn’t you tell me about this..?
[pause]
VA: You didn’t want me to get involved..?
[pause]
VA: Well babe… I don’t care if I get hurt in the crossfire… I just… I want you to be okay…
(You slowly start crying)
VA: Hey, hey… (wraps her arms around you, and kisses your cheek) It’s okay, babe… It’s okay… (continues to kiss you and play with your hair to calm you down, whispering to you in a soft voice) It’s okay… I’m here for you… I’m here…
[pause]
VA: I’m sorry they had to hurt you like this… beating you up, yelling at you, cutting your face-
[pause]
VA: They… they didn’t cut your face..?
[pause]
VA: Wait.. (holds your hands, shocked) You tried to cut yourself..?!?!
(You don’t say anything, but you turn around to hug her, nudging your head into her chest)
VA: Hey, look at me babe.
[pause]
VA: No, I’m not mad at you, babe. Just look at me.
(You look up at her)
VA: (gently rests her hand on your cheek) Please… (a tear rolls down her eye) Don’t you ever try to hurt yourself like this… I don’t care that you almost tried to harm yourself, or hell, even fucking kill yourself-
[pause]
VA: Still, don’t you dare do this shit, babe.. I’m serious. Look, if you actually went and ended it all… I… (hesitates) I don’t even want to think about it… I can’t even think about living forward without you.
[pause]
VA: Okay, first of all, Chloe and I are not related, hence we’re not sisters, and second, living in a-
[pause]
VA: Wait, you didn’t know? I thought Chloe told you.
[pause]
VA: Okay… um… how do I explain this..? (breathes in and out) Chloe is… my caretaker. Or… guardian.
[pause]
VA: No, I don’t have parents.
[pause]
VA: They… (sighs) I don’t usually like talking about it, but… I’m willing to tell you.
[pause]
VA: For starters… My father abandoned me, and my mother passed away when I was just born, so I was adopted by someone. He was… really uncaring… he wouldn’t even take care of me, and would always just yell at me… Chloe, on the other hand… she raised me like she was a mother, but she wasn’t legally my mother, nor did she want to be an actual one… so she legally became my guardian.
[pause]
VA: It’s fine… I just… I miss my mother. I always visit her grave on my birthday, and it’s really the only memorable thing I do on that day.
(You wrap your arm around her waist, and lean in to kiss her)
VA: (sheepishly smiles) Thanks babe… (rests her head onto your heart) Hey.. I forgot about the ice… it’s melted by now… (raises her head back up) Are you still hurt from your arm and back?
[pause]
VA: Alright… you can… put a shirt back on.
(You reach over to grab a new clean shirt to wear, and you put it on, with the VA helping you a bit)
[pause]
VA: You’re welcome, babe.
[pause]
VA: Yeah… What is it?
[pause]
VA: Y’know… I actually haven’t thought about that… I’ve always wanted real parents, and you… never told me.
[pause]
VA: You’ve always wanted siblings..? Wait, you’re an only child?
[pause]
VA: True… you’ve never told me you had a brother or sister… and neither did I… but I guess Chloe’s kinda like my sister.
[pause]
VA: You… consider me… to be your “sister”..?
[pause]
VA: I do act like it, but… (smiles) I’m happy to be your “sister”... bro.
(You chuckle, playfully punching the VA’s shoulder)
VA: Hey..!! Okay, I swear, I won’t ever call you “bro”..
[pause]
VA: (leans in to kiss you) Deal. (smiles, and lays down on your lap, looking up at you) But seriously… no matter if we were related or dating or just friends… I will still, and always, will love you. (gently holds your hand, prompting you to play with her hair) And look… if you need any help from anything… from school, to your abusive parents, to even annoying Chloe…
[pause]
VA: Yes, I annoy Chloe too sometimes, but I still love her. Anyways, like I said, if you need help from me to destress, or if you just want to lay down with me for another sleepover date, I’m perfectly fine with it.. I’ll be here for you if you break down or cry, and I’ll be here to pick you back up, hold your hand, and walk down a rainy road with you. I’ll always be by your side, babe. I’m not just doing it to make sure you’re safe… (wraps her arms around your waist) I’m doing it for you… and it’s because I love you. And I will not stop saying it.
[pause]
VA: (smiles, and gets up to lean into you) You’re not just my boyfriend… you’re with Chloe as part of my family… (reaches out to play with your hair) But please babe… don’t ever try to hurt yourself ever again… okay..? That worries me a lot, so please… don’t ever try to scare me like that.
[pause]
VA: Good… I don’t want to lose you…
(You pick her up, surprising her)
VA: Woah, hey..!! (laughs) Let go of me!!
(You let her go, but she falls on top of you, with the two of you landing on her bed)
VA: (smiles and laughs) You okay..? I didn't accidentally land on and hurt your arm, did I?[pause]
VA: Okay, okay, that’s good… (spreads out her arms above your head)
(The two of you lean into each other to kiss)
VA: Hm? (looks at you)
[pause]
VA: (smiles, and leans in to whisper) I love you, too. (gives you another kiss)
THE END.

Hello, and assalaamu alaikum all,
I am Damon Stengel. I am posting my story because it will have a significant impact and it will help many who are doubting or hidden ex-Ahmadis among both born and convert Ahmadis.
I am a former convert to Ahmadiyya and I was very passionate in Tabligh. I want to share with you all my story.
I was once a very fanatical and fundamentalist Ahmadi. I would call ex and doubting Ahmadis cowards and munafiqs for speaking out against Jammat. All that changed with the past years. This is the story of my secret ex-conversion. This is the story of how I reclaimed my true self once more:
After I joined the Jammat in my late teens, I was excited. I felt I finally found the truth I've been searching for all my life. I was getting, what I thought were frequent true dreams. I frequently read books so I can debate and refute opponents.
Gradually, and growing older, I slowly ran into a problem: There were some references that seemed to go against Mirza Sahib and it was causing me to doubt. I convinced myself that I can find answers for these allegations because it is true, some objections to Jammat are complete lies (not realizing at the time not all are lies).
I increased my reading of literature, but some of the doctrines of Jammat seemed to conflict with the doctrines of traditional Islam like the seal of Prophethood. Reading Aik Ghalati Ka Azala seemed to clear up my confusion but it began to turn into cognitive dissonance.
I nearly left Jammat in 2019 because I began to embrace my more skeptical side again, but it took a phone call by my mentor to stay with the simple words: "Did Huzoor ever lie once?"
with no Nida audio at the time, I had to say "No.", And then, I had a revival of blind faith, diving deeply into religious fundamentalism of the Ahmadi kind. I was ready to by way of Majazi (pun intended) to throw hands with anyone that spoke out against Jammat or those who are hidden ex Ahmadis. I fed lies to myself that I did find the truth, it was just me hanging out in the company of skeptics so I chose to hang out with fundies on Twitter.
Because I felt this was the truth. These was the lies I constantly told myself. I told myself I am the Prodigal Ahmadi convert and man, did I take Tabligh to the extreme just like Razi does. I can definitely see why some of you may have thought I was a Jammat plant sent after ex Ahmadis
I remember I made a really long article years ago saying converts already explored the world and therefore they're better than ex Ahmadis because they went into the world whereas converts were already in the world, but found the "truth".
How wrong I was! Because as I grew in more knowledge of Ahmadi literature, I also began reading a lot of secular and non-Ahmadi Islamic literature as well.
I consistently found the stuff I've read to not match up with the teachings of Jammat or that there were so many contradictions, I couldn't answer allegations. Part of it was because I didn't know Urdu, and my Arabic was sloppy.
So I began gradually learning Urdu and improving my Arabic. After becoming married, my Urdu improved a lot. a family member from my in laws gave me a hand in pronunciation of Urdu letters and words. I would say Ghora (horse) was the most difficult but I can just barely do it slightly better than a born Ahmadi raised here in American. I picked up on basic Urdu really quick. So it helped me with reading some literature.
I improved my Arabic as well. That's when I realized Jammat was purposely mistranslating some passages such as Haqiqatul Wahi on Majazi prophethood.
Once I asked Razi why we don't have a good translation on a Quranic verse and the Arabic says differently, and he indirectly called me arrogant and accused me of knowing Arabic better than Huzoor so I chose to keep quiet. I started questioning again later
When a Bhai came out to me as an ex Ahmadi, I ran to Razi. Razi told me to cut him off and I did. I continued in my religious fundamentalist phase and then I cut out all the ex Ahmadis in obedience to Jammat saying to not hang out with them.
And I would delete my social media and then come back with new account and make articles refuting allegations. Yet, deep down, that cognitive dissonance I mentioned earlier continued to increase. I studied logic and fallacies to try to help myself, and i slowly realized Ahmadi arguments are ridiculous and Razi is very manipulative in his Tabligh.
Then, Mohammad Abr Razack showed me a different side to Muslim Dawah and he seemed like a very decent man, even if I may not have agreed with him on everything. same with talking with Sohail Ahmed, Reason On Faith, his mannerisms definitely resembled that of an Ahmadi Muslim, socially.
I continue and continued. The homeopathy and other social media controversies rocked my faith as Kashif Bhai can attest. whenever Kashif Bhai would confront me on these things, I would avoid.
when I first started seeing Kashif Bhais posts on homeopathy, I chose to ignore it. but then I saw the backlash of the fundamentalist Ahmadis. I tried to reason with one in that they shouldn't be harsh with Kashif Bhai but I got rebuffed and accused of being a coward and so I chose to retreat and not participate.
wasn't really until a year later, I somewhat got a bit more vocal about my fundamentalism on homeopathy but even then I wasn't directly confrontational. only that me and Kashif Bhai butted heads a lot in DMs, and that's when he told me some stories of his treatment by some figures in Jammat. I chose to ignore at the time.
still, I got married and I had my kid. After another bout on social media, I took a year long break.
I left to focus on family but also because my identity crisis was at an all time high, and my own behaviors were causing problems in my marriage. There was also a point i thought of suicide because I had two conflicting realities and identities (Ahmadi-fused me vs. the real me) in my head. I eventually started seeing a therapist for unaddressed childhood trauma and that changed everything about my perspective on life. I learned new techniques to manage emotions and my relationships.
I returned to social media with newfound empathy for others and I intended to be the perfect Ahmadi. That's when I approached a couple ex Ahmadi brothers I used to talk to before they left and patched things up. I even patched things with Bashir Shah (even if I still don't always agree with his approach).
Little did I know, it would be the end of me being Ahmadi.
When I saw Craig Considine's post about pro Palestinian protesters and accusing them of BS rhetoric, I got mad and so did a buddy of mine from Texas. He published a blog against Craig and I posted it to social media. That's how Craig was able to get a hold of it.
He disassociated himself from Ahmadis and many tried to reason with him and others called him out. I fought with a buddy of mine who kept blindly defending Craig because "Huzoor loves him" (that Muslun guy I had an exchange with today lmao; i called him Batalvi Sahib haha for his religious fanaticism).
Slowly, I realized Huzoor may be misguided.
I spoke with my old ex Ahmadi friend more and more and I spoke with his cousin as well. Both of them I looked up to as role models in my early years of Ahmadiyyat (and I still see them as such) and was sad to hear both of them leaving but with my newfound empathy of seeing good in others from therapy, I knew they both are still great people.
What made me disown Qadiani Khilafat was after reading the Shahatul-Quran or testimony of the holy Quran by Mirza Ghulam Ahmad. It presented a very different picture of Khilafat and he said it's eternal and will last until the day of Judgement. That contradicts Jammat doctrine of him declaring prophethood in 1901 and then , contradicts the supposed doctrine from the Wassiyat that Khilafat will be established after his demise.
I told my friend about it and he told me to look at the Lahori versions of Correction of an error and the will. I saw for myself the numerous references where Mirza sahib did not claim prophethood but only by way of metaphor. He was a saint claimant. Nothing more and that it was Khalifatul Masih II that invented the doctrine that his father was a prophet
I began questioning why we say "alayhi salaam" after the title of promised Messiah, as if he's on the same rank as previous prophets before Rasulullah (saw).
Knowing this as well as previous controversies regarding the 200 million Ahmadis thing in 2001, and then reading the Khilafah nabuwwah minhaj Hadith in depth (which Qadianis use to promote their propaganda), I knew their Khilafat was false.
Then, I finally had the courage to look up the transcript of Masroor's call with Nida Sahiba and I was disgusted. I've read the entire script of that call. Having studied psychology and psychiatry on and off for years, I remember there was a part of the transcript I've read in both English and Urdu where Huzoor told his niece that she should've screamed when one of the people she was accusing raped her.
She thoroughly debunked Huzoor and said that therapists say that everyone has a different trauma response and her trauma response was freezing. Which is true because adrenaline is our evolutionary survival instinct. It is either fight or flight. Many rape victims freeze for safety reasons lest they escalate the situation further. I felt that was very ignorant of Huzoor to say those messed up things to her, and I was happy I disowned the Caliphate because so many convert brothers went up to me to ask about it for years, and I gave unsatisfactory answers or made up excuses. Now I know the truth.
let me make it clear: Some have countered that Nida couldn't prove her case to the courts. however, I would refer them to articles that say we need to change the way courts view rape victims: https://www.uml.edu/news/stories/2019/sexual_assault_research.aspx
"Morabito says more resources, public education and policies that encourage prosecutors to bring cases to trial are needed, although it may take time to change public opinion.
“Maybe if more of these cases were tried, we’d break down those myths and see more of what sexual assault cases really involve,” she says."
anyways,
I continued to believe in Mirza sahib but held the Lahori position, but I began to question his claim itself. I read about the fabrication of Daru-Qutni and I realized it's actually technically a dishonor to orthodox Islam to quote a fabrication that disrespects the scholars who proved fake Hadiths are not to be used.
my two ex Ahmadi friends continued to share with me their skepticisms in order to show me the falsehood of Mirza sahib. When one of them showed me proof that the red drops revelation happened in a bathroom, I without question, disowned Mirza sahib as well.
I felt relief. As if a heavy weight and burden was lifted off my shoulders after nearly 10 years. The whole reason I was Ahmadi for so long was due to my ego. I didn't want to admit I was duped. I didn't want to admit I converted out of youthful naivety.
when I first started meeting with the Ahmadis, my gut instinct when I originally hung out with the Ahmadis was to read all of Mirza Sahib's literature and then make a decision, but a Murabbi told me if I keep waiting, I'll go to hell. So I made the decision in haste and did bait. Never did I admit this in any of my stories
I've always had a skeptical side of me and I embrace it fully now. this is why my conversion to non-denominational Islam isn't really complete either because I have no intentions in trading one religious dogma for another. I have chosen to embrace my old agnostic atheism once more.
actually, these views of mine were always such for years. unconsciously, I was always an agnostic, but I just chose to not consciously acknowledge it. yet, I'm free at last, my story is very similar to many other ex Ahmadis and doubting/questioning Ahmadis in here.
I'm gonna tell you guys straight up, my soul left jammat a long time ago. I only just admitted it to myself a few weeks ago, and I embraced the true me.
I realized in a sense (even though it was my own choice and free will out of a false passion) that Jammat indirectly used me for their propaganda. I wanted to imitate Razi and be in the same league as him, and damn straight, I sure am in the same league as them from both the perspectives of Ahmadis and those who disagree with them.
Many ex and more open-minded Ahmadis (such as Kashif Bhai) called (indirectly) me ignorant of the facts, naive, head-in-sand, and a product of religious indoctrination. I realized how right they are. I fell for the same cult vibe just as the one I grew up in-Pentecostal Christianity.
Now, the very person that was heavy against ex-Ahmadis and questioning Ahmadis online for years and said he's better than them, has found the truth, is now himself, an ex-Ahmadi because he grew in emotional intelligence and empathy for others.
It's ironic. Both convert Ahmadis and ex Ahmadis have so much in common in regards to opposition. I, out of all people should've understood the most of why ex and doubting Ahmadis think the way they do. But now I truly understand.
Viewing myself as the "Savior and Prodigal Convert Ahmadi" for people who doubt and it was definitely taxing on my mental health. It was just pure ego. Nothing more.
I thought I could "save" other Ahmadis, but I couldn't even "save" myself.
Except I saved myself from religious indoctrination and possible insanity
You can lose friends and family n stuff, but if you lose yourself, that's the worst feeling ever. Ngl
These are my views summarized:

• I am an agnostic atheist. I still choose to socially follow Islam
  
• no religion is absolute. Every religion is a philosophy, but it offers one a very limited lens to look into the reality and phenomena of things
  
• growing up in a dogmatic religion (Pentecostal Christianity) and experiencing yet, another, I am not a big fan of religious dogma as it caps our natural critical thinking abilities. It limits us to one view and that's not good for mental health.
  
• I've embraced my real and true self after burying him for a long time under the excuses of dogmatic religion
  
• I've been doubting and having cognitive dissonance for a long time. I've just chosen to acknowledge reality a few weeks ago, and then officially announced.
  
• I despise the Desi culture in Jammat and they're going to inevitably gossip about me now that I freed myself.
  
• I believe in scientific progress, and my lens on the world are viewed from a scientific perspective.
  
• While I admire Islam, I don't believe men are superior to women nor do I believe a 50 year old man should marry a 6 year old (or 9 by Jamamt standards). Sure, it was the customs of the ancient times, but we don't live in the ancient times anymore. We live in the modern era. Marrying a child is disgusting
  
• all humans are agnostic one way or another
  
• a god is possible but there is no convincing evidence for any personal God
  
• all religions preach the same evidence, same doctrines, same amount of prophets, same amount of gods
  
• Ahmadi Muslims claim to get true dreams but so do Christians and other Muslims, as if God was in a competition with himself
  
• I love philosophy and currently studying more of it
  
• we should treat our current world views like a scientific theory.
  
• Let me elaborate, it may not be an absolute truth but our evidence confidently lead to the conclusion that this thing explains the phenomena of these happenings
  
• I often meditate to center myself and I focus on the present and "is". This has helped me to reconnect with my true self
  
• I am a cultural Muslim as I still don't eat pork, drink alcohol, smoke weed, and I still occasionally recite Quran
  

In essence, my views are very similar to my views from before entering the Jammat, in that, I believed all religions had the same amount of gods, same amount of prophets and same amount of books, as if God(s) were in a competition with Him/themselves.
That's my view on this world again, and if anything, history has repeatedly shown religious dogma causes stagnation in communities. openness to other views and perspective and intermixing is key, and I just dislike how Jammat and the nizam say we need to get back to "the core teachings" or "don't worry about what others are doing. focus on yourself and your connection to Allah and Khilafat.", this completely ignores the reality of the problems in Jammat like the rape scandals, rampant and judgemental Desi culture of excessive gossip and defaming, stagnation in the education of its members (being the former Nizam Taleem of MKA Baltimore), most converts leaving after converting because they found no love in the social structure of Jammat or it's too dogmatic, no one is enthusiastic about Tabligh or Taleem, Jammat encourages calling people and "being their friend", but people see through the B.S. behind that. Jammat has grown stagnant and refuses to hold themselves accountable for fear of a ruined reputation despite the fact this philosophy ruins their reputation further. it sounds to me as if Jammat is like an insecure narcissistic man who never takes responsibility for his wrongs and always blames the other person.
Ameer Sahib always lectures the people of Jammat in the Jalsas of how sad he is about the bad tarbiyyat of Ahmadis or those not joining the Wassiyat scheme (and I speak as a former Moosi, so no one can lecture me here), but he only presents himself as someone judgemental and not someone that speaks with humility. it seems it's just another speech about low turnout. maybe instead of lecturing everyone, might be better to reform the institution from ground up? perhaps Musleh Maud's system no longer works in this era. or that it needs great reforms to better progress the community. there is too much of a social hierarchy in this institution and it's filled with those who have no real understanding of the struggles of Ahmadi youth.
don't get me started on the Noah's ark rhetoric and how Jammat presents it. Everytime I would ever read that book or listen to excerpts in speeches or zoom calls, I'd feel guilty and like a peace of trash. especially with Masroor Sahib saying a nuclear war is upon us soon. I feel this is a cult because more chanda is being demanded. more guilt tripping is being made to gaslight members into blindly following. I saw a child cry in their parent's arms upon hearing what Masroor Sahib said about "World War III is here." why would you expose a child to that??? that's terrible mental torture and I felt bad for them.
That's all I got for now.
Everything else has been explained here:
https://x.com/LAhmadi25/status/1796569889802768775?t=RAQ9GWfQObLXIsY0tSN_8w&s=19
Sincerely,
Damon Stengel, The Ex-Ahmadi Convert

Okay I don't want to sound filmy and all . Neither it was relationship In class 7 fpr 2 months . We were in a relationship for more than 3 years years . Sh was my first love. She was the most perfect girl I have ever seen . She was cute, intelligent , emotionally understanding,bubbly , never created a scene just cz she was bored as I heard for other girl , she sacrificed all the male friends for me which was so wrong . Things got so dreamy that she told me Even if you curse me I will still never leave you . Doesn't it seem everything like a dream?
But hear me out . I was the most toxic bf ever to exist. I was so fucking immature and never understood her problems at her home. I never gave the love that she deserve was a bit manipulative too cz of my toxic childhood and still stayed with me . I always said you will cheat on me cz my mother did and I could never trust her . She deleted all her male contacts for me And she was a very shy person never posted anything on social media just used it for me . Nobody could imagine not marrying her if it was a healthy relationship. I guess even for a bit toxic relationship she would have sacrificed. She did all possible ways to make me happy . She sacrificed her individualism for me. Even her mother loved me so much. She supported both of us even gave me chocolate and everything. Although hee father was strict as hell she took risk . Tears are running down constantly as I am writing this . We started dating right after 10th and continued the relationship uptill 12th and after that also .
Genuinely Telling I never understood her and just saw her as my mother that she would cheat. But she wasn't like that . Man I was not very sexy or handsome. I was mid . Man I could never get out of this guilt even if I make myself the best human in the world . But she was literally the best human to exist . Can you imagine she never even had any faults? Man at this point I could write a book about her I guess and not a single piece of this is Exaggeration. She even after getting so much immaturity from me last year on her birthday she told me I am the best gift that God has given to me .
After our 12th she decided to go for a drop in kota for neet. Goddammit she was so focused. I was a jee aspirant and I had heard people taking 4 drops and getting upto 580 and she pulled up from 100s to vey close to 600s in a single drop ? She has decided to take another drop from kota itself .
After going to kota I still was insecure she would cheat. She started ignoring me and getting busy in her work. There was a guy who was her father's friend's son and even he was the greenest flag . He said he manages 4 companies at this young age and he has also a gf of many years . He made her realize how toxic I was and made her heal . Man we had a big fight in June and that was it . She told me she don't want to live and I did not take it as a warning . She told me she wanted break and I also agreed cz I would have time to rethink about my emotions and I started preparing hard for jee .We even contacted after that in September normally and it was normal talk and she started ignoring me cz of fear of fights again . She even called me when she came to my city after all these but I was too guilty of myself that I did not have the courage to pick it up .
Now when all exams got over I contacted her and she told me she moved on , has a bf of 2 months . I cannot get over the guilt from all of this . We made promises to Marry each other and I ruined it.
Right now I am just numb , I don't know what to do. I guess afrr this incident I will never be able to talk to any girl or even find anyone attractive or even if I get with one I guess I will never be able to forgive myself . Many of you in this sub are older than me and prolly most mature than me so I just want an advice . I guess rhis relationship will never get fulfilled but Do I have even a single chance to get back to her . Even if 0.01% ? I am ready to do anything in my hands to improve and make myself a better person and a person who anyone would be blessed to stay with . I am not talking about just romantic relationship but also any type of relationship with people . After 10- 20 years even if she comes back I will stay with her. Is there even a single chance or happened like this with anyone ? I think people will say it's better to forget her but I will never move on. I am ready to do anything to be worthy of her. I have heard many cases of many men being cheated multiple times and even I witnessed it . Is there a way to get out of this fear? Or do anything so that it does not happen ? Although I deserve every worse things . Can I ever move on from her in my entire life? Or you have any suggestions for me ? I don't know if people ever saw God how would it be but one thing I know now that she was the closest to God. I wish if I realised all of this before we could happily live forever . But if reincarnation really happens I want her to be mine in my next life , if she isn't mine in this life . I will work on myself right now and will try to make myself actually worthy but still I don't know if I will ever get back to her. I will be really grateful if you all please give me suggestions.
Tldr : My gf of more than 3 years was the perfect girl to ever exist and I was so immature and got very toxic and insecure . I am scared if I will ever move on from her . She was the most perfect girl I have evee seen in my life. And if it's possible please read the entire story and suggest me what should I do .

I met my now bf in March of 2019 and we became friends. We live in 2 different countries. I never considered it would go further than friends as he didn't want kids. I have an infant daughter. This also happened during Covid. I was in a relationship with my daughter's father. In June of 2020 he kicked us out of his house. I had no one to help me so a day or two later I ran out of money. I ended up returning to my daughter's father's house.
At some point we started calling each other bf and gf I were talking about starting a life together. However due to covid the borders and government buildings were shut down or we on low contact. Neither one of us could get a passport. Throughout our time together we would text, call and video. At times he would just disappear for days or weeks. We would fight about this to the point where we would be on the verge of breaking up, he would always tell me something happened and he was embarrassed or ashamed to tell me, mainly court or police related.
Fast forward to May of 2021 we were still together and it was still extremely hard to get your passport, even harder for me with a toddler since I need her dad's consent. My bf was getting discouraged and started avoiding me or making up excuses on why we weren't getting time together anymore. On September 28, 2021 he messaged me. Saying he was going to be stopping by on Friday to talk to my daughter. I was like excuse me, and he kept going. I kept telling him he was messaging the wrong person. He kept talking about a motorhome he was working on for me and so on. He asked if I was coming up to have a fire with him. I was like huh and I kept saying you are messaging the wrong person. Finally I said who the hell do you think you are taking to and they snapped him out of his rant and he said "female name" I was like no you are talking to "my name". He goes fuck and says he had been extremely busy and tired and just got confused and he thought he was messaging a customer. He is a mechanic and takes side jobs. So one of his side jobs was working on a motorhome for this woman. I was livid and stopped talking to him that night. The following day we talked and worked it out. He said he needed to head home as he was laying flooring at his ex's house (he did this often, helped other out).
All October I got no responses from anything. He mailed me saying he broke. Then half way through October he changed his passwords and booted me out of . I mailed him now saying are you breaking up with me now. He finally mailed me back said no I was trying to set up a new phone and couldn't remember my password so he change it. He then gave me the new password. He said he would email the next day, I got nothing. Finally I mailed and asked if he wanted to break up, if there was someone else I would understand but to be honest. I got a response a week later apologizing, stating there is no one else, that he has just been really busy and saying he loves me and wants to be with me.
On November 2, 2021 I received a phone call he from him. We talked for about 2 hours. Half way through he started crying says he met female in July or August that he had feelings for her. They started hanging out and was avoiding me so he didn’t hurt me. That he ghosted me all of October it was because he was trying to sort out his but they never where anything but friends. I understood because it is a long distance relationship and we had met in person due to circumstances, mainly covid.
He swore that nothing ever happened between them. That she was going through a divorce and just needed a friend. All through November and December of 2021 she was constantly calling him to hang out and saying she needed someone to talk. He was constantly blowing me off to spend time with her and help her. He would call me jealous and tell me to get over my insecurities, saying they were nothing more than friends.
My bf has something of a knight in shining armor complex if he ever sees someone in need friend or stranger he always feels the need to save that person no matter the cost, it's one of the things I love about him.
When it came to this female it felt different. When we would be talking and he would say "her name" just called she needs to talk and he would hang up, it would be the same if we were texting and I wouldn't find out until the following day that it was because his female friend.
Now in December right before Xmas he disappeared for a week, now I know during Xmas he spirals a little due to missing his dad so I worry about him. So I texted him to see if he was okay and got no response this went on for like 2 days. At this point I was extremely worried and anxious so I went on his account and looked to see if he was okay, mainly to make sure he was laying in a ditch somewhere or in a hospital or worse jail. However what I found was at his female friend's house for the entire last 2 days. The whole time while ignoring me. He ended up spending 5 straight days He didn't respond to me until I stated in a text message on the 5th day that apparently he moved in with his female friend and this is his way of saying we were finally over. He responded with no I haven't and that he was on his way home and that I need to stop being jealous of his female friend. He said he was lonely and just wanted to spend the holiday with someone.
After he promised we would spend new years together on video chat. Well come new years we were talking while he was at work. Then he stopped responding I figured he just got busy. So I waited and then messaged him when I knew he would be at home 2 or 3 hours after he got off work and he responded with my female friend called me and work and wants to go hang out at the casino so I'm going go do that I'll message you later. I now I blow up and tell him ever since he met this female and started hanging out with her it feels as if they’re the ones in a relationship and that I am the other woman. This again starts fight and leads to us breaking up for like thousandth time in the last 2 months.
After New Year's we started to talk again, we were working through the issues again and he even told me that since his truck was broke down his female friend would be driving him back and forth from work. We were spending more time together at this point and he stopped spending time with her. It seemed like he was finally hearing me. About a week or so after new year he calls me crying. Saying he needs to talk to me and he needs to clear the air about him and his female friend. My daughter's father then comes in and starts talking to me. My bf gets pissed and hangs up and I call him back this happens like 5 or 6 times and during call maybe 3 he breaks up with me with no explanation. I call him back to find out what is going on he would say he loves and that he doesn't want to break up but then he would say we are over again and hang up. After 3 phone calls like that I give up. I messaged him wishing him well and that I hope he is happy. In the morning I get a reply say what do I in my drunken state and I tell him and ask if he really wants to break up he says no the I ask about what he was talking about him and his female friend. He goes oh she had an issue with her ex. So I dropped it this conversation still bothered me though.
Things between him and I started to improve and it looked like we were working through the issues he even stopped hanging around with his female friend. He messaged her to see if she wanted to hang out on his birthday a few times and she blew him off.
In March of 2022 for some reason we start talking about his female friend. He starts complaining to me about how she ghosted him and she isn't answering his messages and now he is crying. I try to justify it and tell him that she just used him. I said I don't know why it is bothering you so much since you were just friend he finally breaks and say they he slept with her. He then back tracks and says just in the same bed during the Xmas stay. I don't know why but this always bothered me. I wasn’t sure as to why he got emotional over a female that was just his friend. It made no sense as to why he was crying over just a freind
During this timeframe there were a few red flags . On new year he mentioned that she told him he want allowed to mention me. That her son didn't like him because he thought he was trying to take the place of his father. That she just ghosted him out of no where and that he took it so hard. That she came to him and told him that she was going to start dating again. I mean those sounded all like things you would say to an ex.
In May of 2022 he bought me bus tickets to move to my sister‘s. I was supposed to leave in June of 2022. However right before this happened he tells me that his female friend contacted him and that she invited him to go out to dinner as a thank you. I was surprised that he didn’t hide it from me.
I left my daughter's father's house and had every intention of getting on the bus. However I had a nagging feeling in my mind their relationship. In the end I didn't get on the bus but I returned to my daughter's father's house both out of guilt and just that nagging feeling that he hiding something from me.
For the next 2 years we would fight and constantly break up and make up. The fights always being about me not leaving when it was paid for it and his relationship with his female friend. I ended up sending him back the money for the trip I didn‘t take that he paid for.
Since we have been together he gives me half truths or avoids me because of things he knows things will upset or hurt me so he tries pretend things do happen. The little issues we had would always lead back to the 2 main issues, his and his female friend's relationship and my not leaving. We have been able to make it for a while though even with all the fighting and breaking up. His avoiding and half truths when he is feeling guilty about something.
Now we are in February of 2024 he finally came out and admitted that back in 2021 he did have sex with his supposed female friend. He told me she broke it off because he drank too much but another time he said she called it off because mentioned needing to talk to me. He said it was a one time thing and he was drunk and lonely and just wanted some kind of human contact. He said that he fucked up and it was a mistake and that he regretted it ever since it happened and that he had felt guilty about it ever since. I can’t help be think does he regret sleeping with her or statying with me?
I asked if he would have continued to be with her and he said he wasn't sure. Now I feel like our entire relationship has been nothing but lies. He says he loves me and only wants to be with me. To that I reply you love me so much you had to fuck another female to prove it. He says he is sorry and that he doesn't want to lose me or my daughter that we are his family. However at the same time I can't help but think that he is just telling me what I want to hear.
I have been avoiding him for the last month or so yes we talk but not about really. I just don't know how to forgive him this time as I realize the next time I have to forgive it will be worse than this. It started with forgiving him for disappearing for hours after saying brb, then it was a day, then a few days, then a week, then it was a full month only to be told I was trying to figure out my feeling for another female and now it is I had sex with someone else.
We have been calling each other bf and gf or hubby and wifey for almost 5 years but we have never physically been together nor have we met in person. So can I consider this being cheated on. I mean we do love each other and we have talked about marriage and spend our lives together but at the same time it only seems like it is what it has been for the last 5 years just talk.

Okay I don't want to sound filmy and all . Neither it was relationship In class 7 fpr 2 months . We were in a relationship for more than 3 years years . She(18f now) was the most perfect girl I have ever seen . She was cute, intelligent , emotionally understanding,bubbly , never created a scene just cz she was bored as I heard for other girl , she sacrificed all the male friends for me which was so wrong . Things got so dreamy that she told me Even if you curse me I will still never leave you . Doesn't it seem everything like a dream?
But hear me out . I was the most toxic bf ever to exist. I was so fucking immature and never understood her problems at her home. I never gave the love that she deserve was a bit manipulative too cz of my toxic childhood and still stayed with me . I always said you will cheat on me cz my mother did and I could never trust her . She deleted all her male contacts for me And she was a very shy person never posted anything on social media just used it for me . Nobody could imagine not marrying her if it was a healthy relationship. I guess even for a bit toxic relationship she would have sacrificed. She did all possible ways to make me happy . She sacrificed her individualism for me. Even her mother loved me so much. She supported both of us even gave me chocolate and everything. Although hee father was strict as hell she took risk . Tears are running down constantly as I am writing this . We started dating right after 10th and continued the relationship uptill 12th and after that also .
Genuinely Telling I never understood her and just saw her as my mother that she would cheat. But she wasn't like that . Man I was not very sexy or handsome. I was mid . Man I could never get out of this guilt even if I make myself the best human in the world . But she was literally the best human to exist . Can you imagine she never even had any faults? Man at this point I could write a book about her I guess and not a single piece of this is Exaggeration. She even after getting so much immaturity from me last year on her birthday she told me I am the best gift that God has given to me .
After our 12th she decided to go for a drop in kota for neet. Goddammit she was so focused. I was a jee aspirant and I had heard people taking 4 drops and getting upto 580 and she pulled up from 100s to vey close to 600s in a single drop ? She has decided to take another drop from kota itself .
After going to kota I still was insecure she would cheat. She started ignoring me and getting busy in her work. There was a guy who was her father's friend's son and even he was the greenest flag . He said he manages 4 companies at this young age and he has also a gf of many years . He made her realize how toxic I was and made her heal . Man we had a big fight in June and that was it . She told me she don't want to live and I did not take it as a warning . She told me she wanted break and I also agreed cz I would have time to rethink about my emotions and I started preparing hard for jee .We even contacted after that in September normally and it was normal talk and she started ignoring me cz of fear of fights again . She even called me when she came to my city after all these but I was too guilty of myself that I did not have the courage to pick it up .
Now when all exams got over I contacted her and she told me she moved on , has a bf of 2 months . I cannot get over the guilt from all of this . We made promises to Marry each other and I ruined it.
Right now I am just numb , I don't know what to do. I guess afrr this incident I will never be able to talk to any girl or even find anyone attractive or even if I get with one I guess I will never be able to forgive myself . Many of you in this sub are older than me and prolly most mature than me so I just want an advice . I guess rhis relationship will never get fulfilled but Do I have even a single chance to get back to her . Even if 0.01% ? I am ready to do anything in my hands to improve and make myself a better person and a person who anyone would be blessed to stay with . I am not talking about just romantic relationship but also any type of relationship with people . After 10- 20 years even if she comes back I will stay with her. Is there even a single chance or happened like this with anyone ? I think people will say it's better to forget her but I will never move on. I am ready to do anything to be worthy of her. I have heard many cases of many men being cheated multiple times and even I witnessed it . Is there a way to get out of this fear? Or do anything so that it does not happen ? Although I deserve every worse things . Can I ever move on from her in my entire life? Or you have any suggestions for me ? I don't know if people ever saw God how would it be but one thing I know now that she was the closest to God. I wish if I realised all of this before we could happily live forever . But if reincarnation really happens I want her to be mine in my next life , if she isn't mine in this life . I will work on myself right now and will try to make myself actually worthy but still I don't know if I will ever get back to her. I will be really grateful if you all please give me suggestions.
Tldr : My gf of more than 3 years was the perfect girl to ever exist and I was so immature and got very toxic and insecure . I am scared if I will ever move on from her . She was the most perfect girl I have evee seen in my life. And if it's possible please read the entire story and suggest me what should I do .

I'm sure this will be long, windy and cover a lot of different things but I need to get it out. I'd love some feedback but if I get none, at least I let it out. I will probably go through some seemingly mundane or irrelevant details but there is a reason for it all.
My wife and I met when we were in our late 20's through some mutual friends. She was one of my friend's gf's new roommates. She was somewhat just out of a long-term relationship a few months prior and we met in November. I had been single and sporadically dating for a few years, but hadn't been overly confident and was always shy around girls. When we first met, I wasn't immediately attracted to her and I didn't know if she was attracted to me. I know at the time she was still recovering from her break-up and dating around quite a bit so even as I started to get to know her through regular group hangouts, I stayed backed off and just grew the friendship. I had been hurt previously and spent enough time alone to make a conscious decision to not waste time on anyone that I didn't think could turn into marriage.
We had quite a few nights for the first few months where we just had long nights of smoking weed & talking, and by late February we ended up going on a Group skiing trip which is when I knew I was about ready to pursue. Both of us felt the tension then but neither made a move until I asked her out on a date after we got back. Our first date was low-key, we went to a bar and local dinner, a casual date. Everything was easy, I was nervous but it was the first time I felt really comfortable with someone in a really long time. At the end of the date, I walked her home before driving home and immediately got a text... "No kiss?". She was clearly interested and this was the motivation/shot of confidence I needed, but for some reason I responded... "No balls.". Regardless, we started dating the next week and everything was really good, puppy love as it usually is.
Shortly after her very close Uncle died in a car accident which didn't seem to affect her much. I know now that's really more that she bottles her emotions. She had experienced some intense grief as her pre-teen younger sister died in a car accident from a drunk driver when my wife was about 16.This clearly sent her through a lot of trauma that she had to deal with and found her way to cope. This didn't seem to affect our relationship or even her personal well-being much given her coping mechanisms were in place(even if unhealthy). The first 6 months of our relationship was relatively long distance. It was about a 2.5 hours drive or 1.5 hours train ride. I had a 9-5 Tues-Sat where I did a lot of driving so none of that bothered me and she was working in a very upscale restaurant but usually had Sun & Monday off as well so it worked out great. After 6 months, I moved in with my friend in a new apartment in the city she lived in. We spent more time together, enjoyed the city and just had an overall happy life. About 10 months later, her lease was up and she moved in with me with the intent that we would get our own place 2 months later in the same city when my lease was up. This would put us at about 2 years together. We looked at places, but then she decided she was done with the city life and she decided to look further south in our state, closer to where I was previously living. She ended up finding a job and we moved about 2.5 hours south of our friends in the city.
This move was a big deal. This was the first time I had ever signed a lease with a gf and we both were moving outside what little support system we had. My family was nearly 2 hours north and hers about 2 hours south. All that said we had a great first year, adopted a dog very early on and then got engaged about a year in. At this point her grandfather who was her next closest father figure (her dad is in the picture but was a cheater, a drunk and married 3 times when she was a kid) was diagnosed with brain cancer and ended up passing before we got married. He died in her arms and this took another heavy toll on her, but she still seemed to take it better than most. As we really got into the throes of planning our marriage, I started to feel like our sex life was waning a bit, but I very much attributed it to getting through that puppy love phase.
We ended up getting married about a year later. We got married in July and were pregnant by Aug (found out in Sept on our honeymoon). We were ecstatic, but clearly didn't have the time to just "be married". We ended up buying a house another 9 months later right before the baby came and moved even further south, again away from any friends. This time mostly due to home prices. Pregnancy was rough for her, she did not enjoy being pregnant but she's tough. She ended up giving birth with no medication with no complications and now we are in a new house with a newborn and our closest family an hour away.
The next phase I admittedly wish I had done more. The early years of our son's life, I was traveling a lot for work, but always did what I could when I was home, mostly. I didn't do a great job at getting up with him in the middle of the night, because I figured, hey I need to work the next morning. It was childish, immature and regretful thinking. I was still traveling quite a bit, sometimes for a week or more at a time. I sometimes miss that now, but at the time I felt like I was missing so much of my son's life. I was able to negotiate a different position, working locally 100%. Part of this was that I also started to feel distance between us. Our son was now her priority, our sex was much less frequent, me regularly being turned down and her nearly never initiating. She did end up going back to work on a normal timeframe and I ended up working from home nearly full-time because it was now peak Covid era. She was only working Friday, Sat & Sun as a bartender so I really only needed to worry about working while watching him Friday afternoons. I thought Covid was going to be great for use with us both being home once her restaurants closed. Getting more time together and enjoying life, but it really just kept feeling like distance. We ended up getting pregnant again but she was not in a stable emotional state and we mostly mutually decided to have an abortion. This didn't make me feel great, it conflicted with my values but I loved my wife and knew it would ruin her.
Over the next 2 years it felt like we were coasting. Our intimacy slowly wanted more and more, her moods were down more often, which then put my moods down. I started to feel like she was cheating on me. I did the cardinal sin and started snooping. I found some flirty texts but nothing concrete or anything egregious. She is a bartender and flirty by trait to an extent. I eventually broke down and told her how I felt. Alone and neglected. This did nothing but make her even less attracted to me, but I worked on it. We started making an effort to talk more, and a lot of that suspicion just waned.
At this point our son was about 4 and starting preschool. He isn't the easiest child. He's very headstrong, demanding and to be frank slightly spoiled. This continued to get worse for the next year plus and only recently have we started to get a handle on moving this all in the right direction. He just turned 6, but still takes a very large amount of energy from us, and without much help from parents or anyone it can feel like we have no time. I have been a director at a new company for a few years, have doubled my salary in the last 3 years and have a much bigger responsibility there, but take on a large portion of caring for our son. She now works 4 days a week, still as a bartender at the same place she has been the last 8 years. Our schedules are largely opposite.
The past 2 years have been a lot of up and down. I started therapy for myself about a year ago for a few months but didn't find it helpful. We started couples therapy about 7 months ago and while that has helped, it really just forces us to spend some time together and talk more than anything. We've done date nights where we can with our schedules and I had started my own personal therapy focused around self-esteem around the same time. I have now transitioned out of therapy for a couple months and have felt much better with more confidence and a better direction. This has made me closer to pushing for a divorce than ever because I feel like this shouldn't be as hard as it is. I feel ashamed for being attracted to my wife because I feel like she doesn't feel the same towards me. While in the past I would have used that to push my confidence down, it now makes me realize it's not my fault. Recently I started getting more verbally forceful, never EVER yelling, but I demanded that she puts more effort in and sees a therapist(as she said she needs to). She has started and been to about 4 sessions. She's usually pretty broken down after, but I don't push her too much on what they talked about or make her talk to me because I know that's not constructive with her now, she just shuts down. There are periods of greatness, like the past 2 weeks I felt like we were both firing on all cylinders, helping each other where needed, in better moods, being casually intimate (kissing, long hugs, some cuddling, a massage here and there) and I had felt reinvigorated. For the first time in a while I again felt excited about spending time with my wife rather than apprehensive. I felt like it would be a good time to start to make the proper approaches for sex again ( we haven't had sex in a couple months), but in the right way. I even tried scheduling a date a couple times because I genuinely just wanted to spend time with her and felt she was in the same place, which I still think she was. Our schedules just didn't align to the point where the next closest day was 3 weeks from today. No big deal, just gives us more opportunity to build anticipation.
About 2 days ago, she started to seem down again. Nothing any worse than normal, but it was a bit of wind out of the sails. I try not to pry when this happens because she insists it's not me every single time and she did just have therapy. Today I felt it again, and actually asked her if she was okay, calling out I could sense her mood was down. I just got a nondescript "Just a lot on my mind and year mood swings are down today". I also can never tell when she is PMSing because she basically doesn't get a period because of her IUD and these downs sometimes last for 2 days, sometimes months. I try to balance being supportive and steering clear when she's like this. It's never yelling or anything, just tension and awkward. I know I mentioned divorce above and it's probably mostly because I'm in this down rut, but each time these cycle happen it just always gets me thinking if I'm wasting my time.
I do 100% love my wife and don't WANT a divorce. I want to be happy with her and with my family. I do A LOT considering I've basically been preparing for her divorcing me for the past 4 years to the point where I basically run the house solo, am the primary caregiver for my son, the primary earner and plan most of our personal lives. I KNOW I am a great father and great husband and I just sometimes don't feel like I'm getting a fair shake. I know a lot of the time these types of complaints seem to come out as "husband just wants more sex", but I really would be happy with just more cuddling being made to feel like I'm appreciated. Don't get me wrong, I DO want more sex, but it's also mostly because I usually feel deeply in love with my wife and thoroughly enjoy making her happy in every way possible.
I really don't know what I'm thinking most of the time on this. I know I could be happier than where we are now, I know she could be happier. She won't talk to me about any problems and insists it's not me, but also states that she can't talk to me about her thoughts because it would "break me". I've fully accepted that she may have cheated on me even though she insists she hasn't, I just wanted to work through it constructively. At what point is it all enough? Is this harder for us because of no support system? Is it just a period in early marriage that people settle into after say year 10? I just want to wake up in the morning, look at my wife and be able to smile at her without my spiraling thoughts.
Thank you for reading my rambling, if anyone does. I'll certainly give more details as this is very much a stream of consciousness, if this interests anyone, but I would appreciate the support.

Before I start, I’d like to say one thing. Happy 25th Birthday you magnificent Pig god! I hope you’re ruling a new kingdom and calling everyone out there nerds. Alright onto the post. Tl;dr: I miss him still, I’m now an adult, and will one day outlive him, which feels weird. But we’ll never forget the legend who was Technoblade.
Almost 2 years already, huh? Doesn’t feel like it was that long ago, feels like it was just yesterday since, ya know. I was 16 years old, it was Friday evening after a long day, I decided to hop on YouTube before heading to bed. Scroll down through the videos, i saw So long nerds, confused & thinking it was a joke vid, so i click on it, saw Technodad and Floof, then heard the message. “Hello everyone, Technoblade here, if you’re watching this, I am dead.” Let’s just say i didn’t want to believe it, literally had looked it up of google, and yep, he’s gone. I didn’t even have the guts to watch the whole thing till a year later. So i almost pulled an all night, went on the crappy old laptop which was the only one i had, logged into Minecraft despite not playing it in over 3 years, and went onto hypixel to write my condolences to his family. Now, I’ve just turned 18, and in the next 5 years I’ll be Techno’s age (well if i make it there that is🤷‍♀️), and it honestly feels trippy, just like living past the age of my deceased loved one and pets, feels weird. I didn’t know him, but he had a giant impact on me, and i miss him a lot. Either Mc Monday, hypixel games, dream smp, or just meme videos, many people & i miss all those videos, wish he was still here making them. But despite the short time we had with Alex, Technoblade's name and legacy hopeful- nope, Definitely! will stay for generations to come, just as long as we keep remembering. Because Technoblade, never dies! 🐷🐗🎉